#back to my usual programming now
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Total funding amounts to $125.3M.
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now get ready for the whiplash of me going back to streamer au and editor au like nothing ever happened 😂
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Words: 4,2k
Relationship: Vander/Silco
Warnings: Total Power Exchange, permanent bondage, messy feelings, dysfunctonal but actually soft and loving families
Summary:
It’s a delicate dance, handling a beast like Vander — he can see that Vander’s not done, that if he could do as he pleased he’d argue more. He doesn’t like it, whenever scheming comes too close to home, when it starts touching their family. It goes against every instinct that has been drilled into him — protection of the pack first and foremost — not to protest. But they made a deal. Neither Vander’s tongue nor Vander’s anger belong to him anymore. He has a master, and Silco has grown used to reminding him with no fuss.
When Vander takes too long to answer, Silco slaps him across the face.
#and now maybe i'll come back to my usual programming. but also: who knows#arcane#zaundads#silco x vander#stories#arcane stories
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Here is your gentle reminder that "Oh, it only ever happens to other people" is not true.
It appears to be, until it very suddenly isn't.
My mother has cancer. It is terminal. We don't have a history of cancer anywhere in our family at all. She was doing great until she suddenly started to decline as the tumor began growing.
She refused to see a doctor about it.
Now it is too late.
I'm the first person to agree that going to the doctor sucks. The dentist sucks. Getting shots of any kind sucks. Having blood drawn sucks. Seeing a gynecologist/andrologist/urologist is uncomfortable and it sucks.
But doing regular checkups with these doctors can potentially save your life. Support your long term health and be there to catch it early when the thing that only ever happens to others, happens to you after all.
Check with your health insurance which tests and preventitive measures are covered for your age bracket. And then take them up on it.
Be not just safe, be healthy.
#health#medicine#cancer#it only ever happens to other people#until it happens to you or your loved ones#be safe and be healthy#make your doctor appointments and checkups#please i am begging you being young does not make you medically invincible either#disabling illnesses do not care if you're 60 or 20 they can hit you all the same and change your life against your will#this post was written in a country with good and proper govermental insurance and healthcare btw#sorry USA i feel for you and i hope things get better eventually#real life#(i'll get back to my usual program now but if i vanish for a while you know why)
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my last few posts have gained this blog quite a bit of new attention and new followers. while i appreciate it, i would like to make one thing clear; if you regularly engage in discourse about "unhealthy" or "illegal" ships, this is not the blog for you. fiction is fiction and i advise that you find a new hobby.
#not a post i'd usually make however exedra has brought in some...new faces to the fandom#and is reviving old ship discourse#i've seen quite a few of these types in my notifications and i'm sure there are more than just haven't made themselves known yet#i'm just doing some spring cleaning‚ i guess i'd call it#i am not a “pro-shipper” or whatever that group is called. just tired#and now back to our regularly scheduled programming
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Russell Crowe as Ben Wade in 3:10 to Yuma (2007)
#3:10 to yuma#ben wade#russell crowe#gifs#my gifs#movieedit#movie gifs#forgive the quality of the first one#that is a bumpy scene with a tiny ben in the back ground#also my program crashed like 3 times making these#but still i was fairly quick haha#getting the hang of this now really#(of course when the program is not working properly the gif quality is not THAT nice as usual)#but well#dither makes it worse#or crashes the program#maybe if I get me photoshop for myself I might change program#but I'll see#got used to that other one now
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also I had a breakthrough today that I had in fact overthought a Specific Problem to Death and that I had created a monster in my own mind and that’s why it felt like I was being eaten alive every time I tried to solve it.
#not to put too fine a point on it but that’s what happened with the whole is Maria going to become a nun question tbh#and I needed a counselor to say to me objectively and yet also crucially without any knowledge of me or my past:#you have overthought this and now you’re terrified of it#anyway it’s so obvious but it came home to me today. slowly.#like it was just like. Oh. You did it again#you’re terrified of this because you have thought of every possibility and every outcome and every twist and turn and shadow—-#until it has become a bloated demon in your mind that is totally separated from reality#while made up of real facts and details! and tbh I know it’s a common problem#but the anxiety chokehold I can put myself in is something that is so impressive and so disturbing#I can render myself absolutely helpless through the meanderings of my own thoughts#and what makes it worse—immeasurably worse—is that I get OUT of problems through careful thought and analysis#I’m programmed that way#so I can’t escape it by the usual means. I have to back away from the monster and see it and NAME it and then it can die away.#and only THEN can I apply my usual ways of going about things. I don’t know it just all clicked today#these past few days have just been bringing it all to a fever pitch for me#anyway I guess it’s also important to me that I still be allowed to be analytical about it!!! I have to use my brain!!!!!!!#in my desperation I have tried to shut it off to feel only with my heart. To try to catch the whisper of God’s voice in the wind#but tbh I am meant to use the gifts I have! But only in the right context#and that’s only after the demon has been killed or more accurately —deflated#my counselor has been so good about this tbh. she’s so matter of fact and blunt and salt of the earth and also she sees how my mind works#and wants me to be able to use it!!#so I’m just going to tell her that I did the bad thing with this other problem and can she help me find a way forward#ANYWAY THE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES
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YOU HAVE A SKETHBOOK?????
Multiple.
(Most of which Okay, ALL of which have boobs in them. But you’ll never see… never! Mwawahahaha!)
#Isn’t anything a sketchbook really if you continuously doodle in it?#Notebooks…paperwork…Scripts…The back of my door…#I casually manage three that I am trying to fill right now.#It sounds like a feat… But if you’re like me and can’t keep track of something to save your life but always need something to draw in…#You gotta grab what’s nearby#So there’s usually always at least one on hand that way#Plus I consider my digital program a sketchbook too… A ‘gallery’ they call it#But I know the truth.#Ask
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trump finally did one thing i agree with lol got rid of de minimis for chinese imports, got his broken clock moment
time for shein/temu to pay taxes on their fucking polyester slop that's infesting all the thrifts
maybe the deranged conservative zoomers will snap out of it when their treat slop gets 122% more expensive.
#personal#my husband works imports and he does this sometimes for replenish orders for tiny things (cuz he's accessories so if 1 store needs a restoc#then you just send that direct from china warehouse) you put thru an under $800 box then it doesn't get imports tax#and that's how shein/temu's business plan works....... they just don't pay any of their taxes by exploiting a program that's supposed to be#like if you're sending someone back home a gift#(i guess elmhurst/flushing china smugglers in grocery stores will have extra requests for personal stuff now lol it's usually just meds)
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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Starting to feel the solitude of a house that is always full of people
The irony istg
#momochiiee mussings#for a place in which everyone brings their friends over every other day I surely feel like I don't exist#I'm the only one there on mornings and I never have anything to have breakfast#my brother eats everything in a matter of two days#my parents forget to buy cereals unless I am present#I usually end having to use my own scarce money to buy something to have breakfast with for the month#and god forbid I ask for 10€ to afford anything. I'm going to get faces of annoyance#like what gives? I'm jobless now. My brother can ask for expensive shit any day but I can't ask for 10€ a month to buy food???#I'm not even sure anymore about making merch... I have a record of working on stuff and not selling enough to even get back production costs#I like very niche things and I'm terrible at advertising#plus my brain is not always up to the task of creating despite my best efforts#but anyway point is I feel lonely and ignored in my parents house#I need to get better at programming asap I could be able to afford buying a house if I got a decent enough position#meanwhile I'll have to survive on scraps and comms I guess
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sorry for the spam of The Power of the Doctor; i finished my Doctor Who rewatch/catching up today and now i'm even more excited for the 60th anniversary specials
#spent the last three months rewatching new who and it was a joy#now i'm fully ready for the specials#back to the usual programming in my blog which is more doctor who and good omens and cinema#tim.txt
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my apologies for that meltdown on my 'plea to rant about my OC' subject that was a moment of weakness i assure you it will not happen again lmao
#and now back to our regularly scheduled programming#thats literally what it feels like lmao#i apologise for the whole OC ordeal i actually crept into my shell for a week out of embarrassment so#i announce this as if im some big hotshot 💀#confession but believe it or not i am actually a very shy and introverted person i spent 5 minutes re-reading my posts lmao#i get very self consious and embarrassed about talking about things outside of my comfort zone#e.g i usually post clips so talking about my OC's which are very personal to me makes me feel real shy#i literally ditched tumblr for 6 days after i made those posts lmao literally WHERE and HOW do people get their confidence from like-#anyways little rant should i do one of those 'about me' that everyone else has done like my interests and name and stuff#ill make a separate post about that ^^#anyway thank you for reading my spoiler about my personal life this is literally the most you know about me rn 💀💀
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weird times weurd times wird times
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#feeling sad rn so im making a post abt it. well ill talk in the tags as usual#so ive been studying for exams for over a month and my last exam was this friday but next week a 2 week practical is already starting#so no time to catch a break#also i gotta start applying for a summer job and for a position for my thesis. and at the beginning of the semester i thought a could do#this after the exams. i didn't know back then that the practical would start right after the exams#then i got word from ny health insurance this week that they need more documents to cover my top surgery. i think i can get them all from#one of my doctors. but the insurance wants them until April 1st. that's less than a month time to get them#im worried and idk what will happen if i can't provide them until then. also this has postponed my top surgery for a few months#ig a few months is nothing compared to the years ive already been waiting but i was mentally getting ready already and looking forward to it#being done soon. which is a bummer now#then this week one of my friends had a mental breakdown and they are going to drop out of the study program to return home in the next few#weeks. and they won't ever come back. i didn't know they were doing so badly so it was overwhelming and shocking to hear#i know my friends will v likely leave after getting their degree and im gonna prepare mentally for that#but getting these news all of sudden that one of them will just leave like rn. was A Lot. i met w them today and im doing everything i can#to support them. whatever they need. their mental health is the most important thing rn.#but yeah so i hv lots on my plate rn and im just. tired. exhausted. i wish i could stop time for a few weeks and just rest#but well. gotta keep on moving
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updated oc "family tree" because the last one sucked majorly and did not specify what the hell any of those creatures were. also now we have god lore. and a very long tag rant apparently
#the gods have always existed but it seemed right to put them on the family tree this time around#anyway. now we can specify what individuals of each species may look like which was a great exercise because i was genuinely struggling to#figure out what the difference between dragonfolk and faeries was. turns out the answer was really easy#also tried to specify physical attributes and not magical ones#magic of course plays a huge role in this world but it does not define a creature#specifying that satyrs typically specialise in earth magic becomes redundant when 1. not all of them do that and 2. some have weak/no magic#like calvin! yes he does specialise in earth magic but it is weak to a degree that he is functionally magicless for a long time#and the 'dragonfolk usually spec into fire magic' becomes doubly redundant when pesky only knows ONE fire spell#because they have an inclination towards earth and an unwelcome shove into spirit#also switched the rodent role into just beasts. means that we can have everyones fursona here if we please#anyway note that gods are literally incomprehensible in form and angels are beings of pure magic#describing them as liquid and gas is a very mortal way of doing it. well that one looks wet so it must be liquid and that one is defo clouds#but they show up so infrequently in the mortal realm that a lot of people think theyre fake#speaking of fake - any god being worshipped that is not listed on this tree is either a false god or just straight up fakd#*fake#example of a false god is the wyrm that controls the mountain dragonfolk. it isnt a god but it sure as hell thinks it is#fake gods function a lot like santa. like yes they were based on a real dude but that guy is extremely dead and we have misinterpreted what#really happened so now we think they were a god who just. went back to the astral realm#oak and holly would be considered fake gods. they were once rulers of kingdoms who fought for every square inch of land#but give that a few thousand years and suddenly youre responsible for the changing seasons#which is awesome but unfortunately only two gods exist in this world#this is basically my blueprint for every fantasy story in my mind. things will change over time of course but this is a good starting point#and the typical inclination towards magic types based on species is getting scrapped due to natural variation#individuals are inclined but species often means environmental pressure. it is considered more conventional for satyrs to choose earth#doesnt mean they have to or that they have a drive to based on species. but they are often pressured to choose certain paths#anyway that is far too much tag rambling. back to our regularly scheduled programming (dashboard nuisance)#aureation
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when my ability to enjoy writing will come back from the war
#the usual complaining#back to the usual programming#right now; rest in fucking pieces to all my wips
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I'm not gonna tell you how to vote, BUT...
Here are some truths about the upcoming United States election.
Either Trump or Biden will win.
Our political system is designed around ensuring that either the Democrat or the Republican win. There is no "but if everyone rallies around a third party candidate..." argument, because...
Grassroots campaigns can't work. There are areas of the country that don't have internet or television. Congress just allowed the Affordable Connectivity Program to lapse, denying internet to even more people. There is literally no way for some candidates to get their message to huge parts of the country.
The Republican and Democrat candidates are backed by huge donor machines that enable them to tour a campaign trail. Independent candidates do not have this luxury.
Our country still uses a First Past the Post (FPTP) voting system, which is specifically designed to support only two candidates.
Our country uses an electoral (all or none) system, which is why you hear that voting for a third party candidate "takes votes away" from one of the major party candidates. For example, if Trump gets 48,999 votes, Biden gets 50,000 votes, and a third party candidate gets one single vote, Biden takes all the electoral votes in the state. All of them.
I really hope you make your peace with this now. Please, vote how you want, but with one candidate saying he will essentially outlaw transgender people, I can't imagine NOT voting for the only other candidate who can possibly win. Right now the polls are 50/50, which is absolutely insane to me.
In my experience, it's usually younger people who talk about either voting their conscience, or not voting at all to "send a message." I assure you, not voting doesn't send a message to the candidate who loses. Your message is only received by the millions of Americans who will suffer as a result.
I don't want to argue. I have no desire to fight with anyone over this anymore. And if you want to ask me "so I have to choose between two killers?" as a gotcha, then I'm sorry to say... The answer is yes. Those are the choices we've been given. And because the United States is no longer a true democratic republic, there's not a whole lot we can do to change that right now.
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