#baldur's gate phone lock | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cococowboah · 7 months

Text

If his heart wasn’t racing before, it was racing double now.

Triple, even.

How would Gale spot him if he never saw a picture of his face? Would he even be able to spot Gale himself after only seeing pictures? What if it’s a complete failure and they can’t even find each other?

He looked left and right, there were crowds of people out tonight for the local band, music was blasting, people were screaming, random drunkards kept bumping into him and muttering “‘scuse me” before stumbling away.

One of them nearly splashed her red wine on him, she didn’t even apologize for nearly ruining his getup.

He worked hard on his outfit in fact. He wanted to stand out tonight, donned the brightest white top he had and a pair of ruby trousers matching his red velvet coat.

He felt handsome, his maid said just as much, and that would have to be enough despite the nagging feeling in the back of his head that told him he could never truly look good enough if he didn’t even know how he looked.

Coming up on the sidewalk he spied a man who just might be the one he was looking for, looking down at his phone before locking eyes with the one in red, and smiling.

A vibration came from the phone in Astarion’s hand. He looked down and smiled.

I see you!

Before he could reply, the man had arrived, wearing blue jeans and a purple T sporting a graphic of a wizard hat.

He held out his hand.

“How are you on this lovely night?” He had to shout over the music, Astarion could just barely make out what he said, ignoring his outstretched hand not for the sake of being rude, but because he didn't even notice it.

"Overstimulated, to be quite honest." He shouted back. Gale pointed behind them towards a less busy section of the sidewalk, and the two walked until they could finally hear their own thoughts again.

"Didn't expect it to be so busy, honestly. You waited in front of there the entire time?"

He didn't know what to say. He hadn't been thinking about the noise or how he could have just told him he'd meet him in front of a calmer area, he was too damn nervous to even realize.

"It wasn't that long of a wait." He lied. He'd gotten there early for fear of being late, and was enduring the ever growing crowd for about 35 minutes prior to Gale's arrival.

"I must say though, you are much more handsome in person."

"As are you." He smiled and tried to avoid bringing up how underdressed he looked. He was tempted to think it implied he didn't care about the date, but it also didn't help that he now felt terribly overdressed for the occasion.

"Apologies for not dressing quite as nicely as you have," Gale held out his arms and looked down at his own outfit, "had I known you'd be the bell of the ball, I'd have dressed the part."

"Oh, no worries. Only a matter of time before I ditch the coat anyhow."

"Well if you do, I'd be happy to carry it for you. It looks very," he held out his hands while looking for a word, " soft. "

"I suppose it is, it's velvet after all."

Gale nodded and smiled at him as he gave a little pose in the outfit, clearly holding back a chuckle.

"Excuse me?"

"Gonna be honest with you," he held his hands up in a mock surrender, "I'm a little, tiny bit, teensy weeny tiny bit high right now."

"High? On what?"

"Edibles. What else?"

"I mean, there's a hell of a lot else."

"I really didn't mean to get high before our date, but my nerves were really not letting up. I had one brownie before heading out but I forgot I made them twice as strong as I usually do, and now, here we are, I apologize, I understand if you're mad at me."

Astarion was more upset about the outfit mismatch if he was being honest with himself.

"Why would I care if you're high? I'll probably be drunk soon anyways."

"I did bring one for you in case you wanted one," he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a completely flattened brownie in a Ziploc baggie, "but I forgot it was in my back pocket and, well. I'm sure it still works."

He looked at it quizzically, and started to chuckle.

"You, sat on it?"

"I did, but I didn't notice I did until, well," Astarion surprisingly took the bag from him, investigating the moist, crumbled wreck of THC infused snack cake, "until just now, if we're being honest."

He opened up the bag, getting hit with a sickeningly sweet stench and a waft of herb. He decided the best way to eat it without making a mess of himself would be to loosen up the crumbs in the bag and pour them into his mouth.

"Wouldn't be like myself to let you have all the fun." He said before doing so, trying to avoid gagging at the unique aftertaste coating his tongue afterwards.

Gale looked deep in thought for a moment, half of him staring at Astarion like he was the prettiest sight he'd ever seen, the other half looking a bit concerned.

"Do you use often?"

He shook his head. "No, probably only tried it once or twice."

"Hmm." He looked down at the ground and gulped before saying matter-of-factly, "you might trip balls tonight."

"Well how strong are they?"

"I'd tell you the specifics but if you're not a stoner, numbers won't tell you much. But you've probably taken enough to knock a horse on it's ass for twelve hours while it binges Mr. Ed and snacks on sugar cubes."

That definitely wasn't what Astarion wanted to hear. You'd think he'd fucking tell me that before I downed the thing.

"Well, how long do we have until I'm completely fucked?"

"Forty-five minutes or so."

"Well…" he looked at the world around them, silently considering every little thing that will probably freak him out once the edibles kick in. Sounds will be louder, lights will be brighter, touch will be more sensitive, emotions will run higher. To be entirely honest with himself, he was finding it hard to complain too much, especially if things between the two of them get steamy.

"Let's go kill 45 minutes before you have to babysit me then."

"Sounds great," he wanted to start walking, but he paused, looked around, then leaned into his date's ear, "perhaps you could play babysitter first because I am really high right now."

"Right, how about we get something to eat? You said you wanted to try Roundtable ?"

"I did, but, honestly, I'm craving a burger. Like a nice, big, juicy," he made the image of a burger with his hands, displaying the size of the sandwich he wanted, "like the biggest, the meatiest, most tender-"

"Alright, got it, burger, where's a burger place?"

He stopped to consider. "I have no clue, honestly."

Astarion bit his lip, hoping it wasn't going to take much longer before he could get either alcohol or THC in his bloodstream and avoid getting worked up over his date's quickly amounting fuck ups.

The outfit thing was whatever. The edibles were explainable. But not warning him about the metric shit ton of weed he just ingested before he ate it, and now being too high to decide on a restaurant was starting to get under the vampire’s skin.

He looked up and down the street for any sign of a burger joint, soon spotting some familiar golden arches in the near distance.

" Mickdees , will that satiate you?"

"Oh, more than you could ever believe."

"Follow me, it's just up that way." He started walking forwards from the spot beside the bar, reaching a crosswalk and hitting a button on a street sign to cross.

Gale followed closely behind, mentally kicking himself to decide on whether he should reach out for the other man's hand or not.

Was it too soon? If not now, then when? Should he just avoid touching him at all?

Just as he was about to reach out for his hand anyways, he realized Astarion was already crossing the street, the light having turned at least a few seconds prior. He quickened his pace to catch up with him, though shamelessly taking more than a moment to stare at his date's perfect rear.

It was hypnotic, swaying back and forth in those tight cherry red velvet dress pants, commanding attention from any and all who dared to take just a peak .

He tripped over himself when they reached the other side of the road, nearly tumbling to the concrete as penance for not paying any damn attention.

"You alright?" Astarion asked, unsure if he should laugh it off or add it to the list of things he wasn't enjoying.

"I'm just fine, distracted is all."

"Distracted by walking ?"

"Well, being behind you is very distracting while walking."

He smiled at the flattery. He was beginning to like Gale again, especially if he could pepper up his ego a bit more.

"What had you so distracted, I wonder?"

Gale felt cornered. Tell him the truth and be exposed as a pervert, or lie and risk hurting his feelings?

"The sky, it's," he looked up, pointed upwards as well, "it's very shiny tonight."

When he looked back down, his date was raising an eyebrow a mile high.

"You'd rather stare at the sky than me? "

"If I told you no would you get mad?"

"I'd be mad if you said yes!"

"Oh, well in that case, you have a lovely ass." He took a gentlemanly bow and rested his hands behind his back.

"That's more like it." He took a step forward towards Gale and laid a teasing finger on his chest, "I don't get to see my ass often, it's nice when others can admire it for me."

Gale was pretty sure his heart had stopped.

The vampire continued walking and he followed close behind, not only continuing to admire the rump without shame, but playing the previous scene on repeat in his mind as well.

His touch was heavenly, even if it was just for a moment. That spark was undeniable.

How it was gonna feel to hold his hand, hold him, maybe even kiss him before the night was over if he got really lucky, it would be electrifying. Not a single bit less magical than magic itself.

He found himself longing for that hand of his, a hand that was dropped to his side, being held out ever so slightly as he walked, like he wanted Gale to reach out and grab it.

He couldn't just assume though. Astarion wasn't even walking next to him, he doubted he really wanted him to hold his hand.

They reached a large white building and passed under a pair of neon yellow arches before reaching the door. The vampire took the lead in opening it for his partner, guiding him in and keeping a close eye on him as he looked around at the inside, his eyes taking in the fairly mundane sight with unexpected enthusiasm, like they had just entered an exciting new dimension.

He caught sight of something, or someone, far in the back of the restaurant, his eyes fixated on the sight as his feet stopped in place, causing the vampire to bump into his back after not expecting the sudden pause.

"What?" He looked in the direction he was looking, confused. There was nothing of interest over there, just a stupid magic eye poster made of burgers.

"Gale!"

He snapped back, startled by the shriek of his name, but pleasantly surprised by the feeling of his hands on his back, surprisingly warm hands for a vampire.

"Sorry?"

"What the hell has your all-consuming interest now?"

"You're right, I'm sorry," he shook his head, trying to clear up the endlessly morphing world in his mind faster than it would naturally dissipate, "I'll do better, I swear, rest of the night, you have my full attention."

"Good," Astarion took a step forward, grabbed Gale's hand like a grown man directing a child, and charged towards the ordering area, "now get yourself something to eat, maybe it'll sober you up."

He tried not to scowl at the fact that he was in a godsdamned Mickdees , in one of the nicest suits he owned, with a date who was so damn high he probably didn't remember his own name at this point.

But despite the ever growing negatives this evening, there was something unexpectedly calming about the moment.

Astarion looked down at their interlocked hands, a twinge of honey soaked heat erupted from his stomach and emerged as a smile on his face. He looked from the fingers he was holding to the arm that they were attached to, and up the arm to the shoulder, the neck, the face of the man who was making a fool out of himself because he was nervous about going on a date with him.

Even though there was so much to complain about right now, there was a hell of a lot to find joy in, too.

"Can I take your order?" The tiefling at the front finally asked, causing Gale to shift from another daydream back into the real world once more. He ordered something, Astarion wasn't paying attention to what exactly, and when he finished his order and turned to the snowy haired beauty, he found himself in the same dreamlike state.

He shook his head suddenly and went wide eyed. "Sorry?"

"I asked if you wanted anything."

"Oh, no, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Like I said, I eat for fun. I don't find Mickdees fun."

"Oh, well why don't we go somewhere you like then? I don't want you feeling left out."

"I'll be fine, we'll get some chocolate or ice cream later."

"You like chocolate? You ever been to the chocolatier up the road from here?"

"I didn't know there was one, actually."

"Oh man, it's incredible! They have a chocolate dragon that's animated with magic, a giant fondue fountain, and the most amazing chocolate pretzels you'll ever taste."

"A chocolate dragon?" It was sounding more and more intriguing by the second.

"Um, do you fellas still wanna order?" The tiefling cashier asked, getting nervous as a line started growing longer and longer behind the bantering couple.

After a little bit more deliberation between the two of them, they left the counter and headed back for the door, leaving room for a halfling and her three bickering sons to step up and order.

"Three kiddie meals for the little ones, and whatever that bearded guy was gonna eat."

The tiefling tapped the order into the register, only to look up and find, not just the bearded guy staring at the magic eye poster in the back, but the white haired one too.

The edibles were kicking in.

Astarion felt glued to the image, he felt a certain determination in himself, to see something he knew had to be there.

Gale was right there with him, giddy in the fact alone that the man beside him was holding his hand still, the sweat between their fingers dancing in tiny pools on their skin, getting to know each other more intimately than the couple could ever hope to do in one night.

He still wondered if this was just a "let's stick together while the edibles hit" kind of hand holding, or a "I really like you and want to touch you" kind of hand holding.

Regardless, he took a chance, and willed himself to rub his thumb along the soft finger of the other.

It sent a shock between the two of them, that tender feeling bubbling up to new extremes as their emotions felt heightened.

Astarion didn't break his gaze from the poster, feeling far too determined to find it, whatever it was, but his mind was admittedly cloudy with the mist of affection that was creeping up his arm from the touch of their hands.

"So," Gale broke the silence, "the chocolatier?"

"Of course." He broke away, had to force himself to, really. He'd have to come back here someday just so he could stare at the poster, maybe eventually he'd find what he was looking for.

For now, he should be focusing on something he was looking for that he did manage to find; a handsome date who wasn't failing to bring a smile to his face.

Or was that the THC? Regardless, it was Gale's doing.

The bearded one tugged them towards the door, and out they went into the bustling nightlife once again, traversing the city streets and dodging carriages and cars alike, the two vehicle types sharing a road now for a century, many people either couldn't afford the motorized magic guzzlers, or didn't want to, so they were accommodated.

Towards the beach, they spotted a massive dark-walled factory. Plumes of delightful chocolate and vanilla vapor poured from the stacks, invigorating the munchie-prone duo with the pleasant anticipation of sweets on their tongues.

They were still holding hands, both of them growing more comfortable with the sensation as the moments went on, each of them finding that the other felt a little more like home as they walked together.

Astarion frowned when he caught sight of the name of the chocolatier, however.

"Gortash's?!"

"Eye-catching name right? No relation, but the owner wanted a bit of controversy to drum up business."

There was more to that name than simple controversy for the vampire. It didn't just drum up memories of battles long since past, it trudged up memories of a certain ex as well.

"You wouldn't happen to know the owner's name, would you?"

"Not really, think it was Dahnver something."

That was fine. Long as he didn't share a name with a particular someone, he could walk into the poorly named building with a little more confidence.

The scent from the outside of the building was nothing compared to the pure ecstasy of the fragrances that greeted anyone who walked through the door. Chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla, strawberries, cream, a chill full of flavor danced around the two as they crossed the threshold, filling their senses with sweetness and calm.

The dragon was towards the back, a group of children were clapping and screaming in joy as it performed tricks and spit wrapped candies at them.

The fondue fountain was towards the other section, a barrier reading "do not lick" in several languages was hung from red rope in front of the massive thing.

Astarion had to admit, the idea of sticking his tongue directly into the liquid fall of pure chocolate was tempting, but not impossible to ignore.

Not yet, at least. The edibles had been taking a slow ride on him, he was hoping he'd maintain the majority of his conviction through the thick of it.

They walked up to a massive display case, its peak being a foot over their heads. The sections within were filled to the brim with sweets, chocolate covered strawberries the size of a fist, candied goodberries, caramel apples, massive chocolate pretzels that would label a man a glutton if he were to down the entire thing alone in a single session.

Astarion didn't doubt that Gale had at least attempted such a feat in his past.

"See anything you like?" He seemed more attentive than he was at Mickdees , and the vampire himself was feeling like a fool in the moment now. He could hardly focus, everything looked good, but he also felt good.

He felt good holding Gale's hand, and it was hard to pay attention to much else when all he wanted to do was absentmindedly swing their palms together and lean his head on his shoulder.

Gale cleared his throat, intentionally snapping him out of it.

"Hmm?" He was smiling like an idiot, his eyes dazed and redder than usual.

Gale leaned in and lowered his voice, "did it kick in?"

He snorted and turned away to giggle.

Yep.

The slightly more sober one walked up to a counter, ordered one massive pretzel and something unintelligible to the vampire's elven ears. He was focused on that dragon, how fucking hilarious that dragon was.

Just look at it, big dopey blue eyes, it's cherry pink taffy tongue hanging out and slapping around as it moved and shook, the magic being used just barely keeping it from toppling over and crushing those kids.

It was maddeningly funny to picture it, children screaming as a massive chocolate bodied dragon fell on them, smashing into pieces and coating the kids in a sticky brown mess.

They'd either go home happy or horrified. Either way, Astarion found it fucking hilarious.

So hilarious, in fact, he was giggling like a mad man, still attached to his date, a date who was holding a large blue paper bag that currently housed their sweet treats.

"You alright there?" Gale tugged on his hand to get his attention, and the giggling elf turned around to see those kind, slightly concerned eyes of his.

The laughing stopped, giving way to a huge, uncontrollable smile as he tugged back.

"I'm fantastic." He sounded like he was on the verge of happy tears, his eyes were already welling up like a mother on her son’s wedding day.

"Good. Wanna go down to the shore and share these?" He held up the bag, and the vampire nodded, but not before pausing.

"I'm so damn thirsty, could we stop for a drink?"

"A drink?" He looked nervous and pointed to himself, "like, blood?"

He shook his head. "No, water, tea, probably not booze but something."

"Ah, cotton mouth. I got just what you need." He quickly pulled his fingers away from the vampires, both their hands suddenly feeling cold and lonesome as he reached into his back pocket and took out a small vial of clear liquid.

"Some of this will fix you right up." He handed him the vial, it was unlabeled, suspicious even.

"What's this?"

"Just a little solution I came up with to help myself with moments like these. Just a drop on your tongue will trigger the production of saliva in your mouth, counteracting the effects of-"

"If it won't kill me I'll try it. No need for a biology lesson." He opened the vial and took a dab on his tongue, and almost immediately the dry, cracked feeling in his mouth dissipated, bringing on a much needed relief.

"Did it work?"

"Surprisingly. Refreshing." He nodded, returned the bottle to Gale and followed as they walked out of the chocolatier.

He wanted to return to holding his hand, but they had been sharing that affection since walking here from Mickdees, wouldn't it seem desperate to continue touching him like that?

But that was before, when Astarion was the headstrong adult guiding around the wandering and starry eyed Gale. It was swapped now, the world outside was too intense and filled with heightened uncertainty now to go it alone once more.

He reached out for the hand, grasping and interlocking their digits once more as they walked to the shore.

Gale smiled as the feeling became familiar once again, the fearless affection being something he hadn't felt in ages.

"Careful, I might start thinking you like me." He teased, giving a tender squeeze to the hand he held.

" You got me high, you babysit me, remember?" He stumbled over his own foot, quickly being saved by the strong hand he was connected to.

"I know the deal."

They came to a nice area, quiet, just in front of the ocean, a bench present to keep their well dressed hides free from too much sand. Astarion hadn't been to this area in decades, if not more; he was never a beach person.

But this was more than lovely. The moon was full, there wasn't a single cloud to distract its beauty from hitting the shoreline and beyond.

The moonlight cast a faint blue hue among the two would-be lovers, and their hands came undone once more so Gale could open the paper bag and remove the massive, already nearly melting chocolate coated pretzel.

He offered it to the vampire, who reached out for a bite, displaying his fangs in full view as he locked eyes with the man and bit down with a softening crunch.

Gale definitely didn't want to admit that the sight turned him on. Gods, he was beautiful. Those bright red eyes were so intense, even when you could see from his face alone just how high he was.

He was staring right back, images flashing rapidly in his mind, Gale, the night they were having, all they had done and had yet to do.

He pulled back and finally started chewing the bite he took, moaning at the splash of savory salt among a warm sea of cocoa and milk in his mouth.

Gale swallowed and shook his head before taking a bite for himself. He was starving, but he felt bad getting any food that he couldn't share with his date.

He smiled to himself as he remembered the extra little gift he had purchased just for Astarion, he held the pretzel between his teeth and reached into the bag to pull it out.

Once he had it in hand, he pulled the pretzel back out and handed him his gift.

"This is for you." A handmade chocolate rose, every petal a slightly darker shade of red, the stem being a carefully crafted lollipop stick coated in dark chocolate.

Astarion grinned. "I was hoping you'd bring me flowers."

"Will this work?"

He took a sensual bite out of a petal, those teeth of his, pearly dangerous whites more than capable of piercing flesh, biting down on the red dyed chocolate and melting it along his fangs.

He was smiling endlessly, enjoying this immensely, recognizing that look on Gale's face and feeling absolutely delighted at the fact that he was the reason for it.

He felt sexy, adored, beautiful.

He didn't get to feel beautiful very much nowadays.

"I know our date has barely started but, this is the best time I've had in a while." Gale finally said, still too enamored with the sight of his new vampire friend sexually devouring a chocolate flower in front of him to look anywhere else.

It didn't help that he kept moaning between each bite, playing up the private show as much as he could muster, the chemical delight coursing through his veins and making every sensation triple and quadruple in his limbs and mind.

The temptation to kiss him was getting harder to ignore. Gale turned away and took a deep breath, continuing to chow down on the pretzel, the only thing he had to satisfy that burning hunger in his stomach.

But Astarion wasn't ready to give up his attention. He finished with the rose and tossed the stick, coming to find that his finger was drenched in chocolate.

Typically being one to hate anything sticky or messy coming into contact with his bare hands, he surprised even himself when he reached over to his bench mate and playfully smeared the sweet ick across his cheek.

"Oops." He giggled, starting to find it funnier than sexy.

Gale returned the action, smearing a small dot of salted milk chocolate along the elf's elegant nose, and receiving another smear on his other cheek in response.

They caught each other in a chuckle fit as Astarion found himself climbing over into the lap of his date, his hands smearing the buttery sweet goop everywhere they could touch. He didn't even care that Gale's filthy hands were probably totally destroying his nice red velvet coat with chocolate as he held him to his lap, that feeling of their bodies pressed together was too agonizingly beautiful to care for the cost it came with.

His head was dipped back in ecstasy as his sticky fingers dipped up into Gale's scalp, shivering at the touch of his warm hair, soft, long, gorgeous locks . He caressed his head, bringing him close to his chest, feeling high on more than just the edible.

He couldn't believe the feeling, it had been so long since he felt this way. Mere touch alone sending him into a fit of near orgasmic bliss, his body enduring pleasures that rivaled the best sex he ever had.

And when he looked down, it was just a man. Just a mere mortal man looking up into his eyes like he was the most precious and beautiful sight he ever laid his ocular orbs upon.

He was looking up at Astarion like he was the full moon itself on this glorious night, and the elf found his gaze peering down at Gale with the same intensity as when he first saw the sun after 200 years of darkness.

He came to caress his face with his hands, pale white digits glazing gently over the bumps and crevices that made up his skin, dragging the back of his fingertips up and towards his ear, holding him still, wondering how true the intensity between them was.

It didn't matter now. He felt good, and he wanted to keep feeling good.

"Could I kiss you?" He asked, and he could feel the massive thump Gale's heart gave out in exchange.

"Of, of course." His face became a furnace as the vampire drew nearer, his lips so gently parted, his movements as slow and precise as he could muster.

They touched, and fire. Slow, burning passion erupting through their lips.

Gale dipped his head, the kiss melting from a meeting of lips to a collision of mouths. His hands held that soft velvet tightly to his body, excitement threatening to take hold and make the moment uncontrollable.

Astarion's playful tongue was exploring the mouth of his new lover, every tooth accounted for, every waltz between their tongues was noted and learned.

Gale moaned into it, his hands traveling from his back to a little lower, before bringing his hands back up and stopping himself from grabbing his rear, trying his best to be a gentleman.

Astarion laughed into the kiss, reached around and grabbed his partners arm, lowering his hand back down until his warm palm was caressing his rump.

His own hands were touching the chest of his lover, caressing his breast and squeezing ever so gently. Gods he hoped this was gonna go further, even if not tonight, he needed this body, this soul , in his bed, in his arms. He needed this chest to rest his head on, he needed these lips to give him life.

It was hard to ignore the growing excitement between them, their trousers could only hold back so much. Astarion was tempted to grab at the bulge he had undoubtedly rubbed against at least a few times now, but it felt too far. Gale seemed too timid for that right now.

He finally pulled them apart, laying several more kisses on his lips as a parting gift before pulling back up and allowing himself to come down from the ecstasy.

Gale swallowed. "That was amazing ."

"I'm told I'm a pretty good kisser despite the teeth."

"Well, I found it quite enjoyable. Teeth and all."

"I can tell." He was looking directly down between them, both laps sporting rock solid cylinders that seemed to be begging to touch.

It was funny to him. Everything was a little bit funny, even kissing Gale was funny, he tasted like chocolate and weed.

"Just when I was hoping for so little as a hug, too."

"A hug? Simple enough." He reached his arms out and wrapped them around Gale's head, bringing him in close to his body again, this time smelling him, his hair, his skin, his sweat, his cologne, his warmth, all tingling his nostrils and mixing into a fine fragrance he was coming to know as Gale.

The mortal himself was completely taken with the scent of his vampire date, the crook of his neck was strongly scented with some kind of flowery yet metallic perfume, breathing in a powerful and warming sensation from the oil on his skin.

He couldn't help himself, he laid a kiss on the skin below his nose, a lasting peck of tender lips against flesh, a pure act of affection and intimacy, a little reminder of just how much he was enjoying their time spent together.

It didn't go unfelt. His lips on his skin made him feel vulnerable, in a good way. Lips locking to lips was special and sexual in its own way, but his mouth pressed against his flesh felt more like a practice in trust than the former did.

Trusting him not to take it too far. Trusting him not to bite him, to rip out his neck with his teeth.

To think the vampire was the one to have any concern with being bitten, it seemed comical. But this act was the one thing he couldn't find funny, no matter how hard he might have tried.

Suddenly, a rumble came out from the stomach of the bearded one, loud and creaky, almost angry in its tone.

They broke apart, the vampire looking down at his partner with concern.

"Sorry," Gale smiled, "little bit hungry."

"We never did get you that burger."

"I might ask that we get one now? Chocolate pretzel isn't gonna do it turns out."

"Well, come on then," he smiled, pulling himself to his feet and doing his best not to stumble off the lap of his partner as he held out his hand, "we've still got a full date to enjoy. And in my new state of mind, a burger sounds absolutely delightful right now."

"You had me at burger. " Gale chuckled, taking hold of Astarion's hand and raising himself from the bench, grabbing the empty blue bag from the bench and shoving the crumbled thing into his back pocket, while his other hand tightly grasped the vampire's.

He smiled, his heart singing its own new song.

He couldn't help but wonder what more would be ahead of them.

#bg3 fanfiction #bloodweave #bloodweave fanfic #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #galestarion #modern au

12 notes · View notes

whatisurspaghettipolicy · 2 months

Text

Okay here we go, sublimating all sideblogs into One Blog to Rule Them All.

Hi there. This is an intro post.

I live in London and I am an adult who is very tired and has a borderline criminal relationship with potatoes. I speak English and Korean. I speak Welsh too, but very badly. I like podcasts, TTRPGs, 8hr video essays on video game lore/the Byzantine empire, and mythology/early literature. I am very scared of mushrooms.

I like to write. I post the fanfiction that I write over here.

You can ask me anything here.

Here are some things I have written that you might like:

Baldur's Gate 3

Something in the Static - E

The lanceboard of the gods is set; the pieces laid out. The world will be toppled; the cult of the Absolute will win.

Or it would win, if a discarded piece had not been returned to the board...

Years after fleeing demons in the underdark, a very dead paladin has woken up with a tadpole in her eye, a gaggle of party members who don't realise they shouldn't listen to her yet, and several unanswered questions in her head.

And Shadowheart wonders why nobody else seems to realise that their new leader can't go five minutes without lying.

[Tav/Shadowheart] Themes: humour, queer found family, what is morality?, can evil gay nepobabies be redeemed?, recovery from abusive power dynamics, religion as a tool of violence Playlist: lots of Hozier Standout comment:

I don't know if this makes sense, but this chapter has the inherent eroticism of Orpheus looking back.

The Locked Tomb

Lord Send Me a Mechanic If I'm Not Beyond Repair - T

The last gasps of a dying people who do not know they are dying.

(In the last days before the end, as you scroll through your phone and never realise it is ending.)

Themes: humour, existential dread, i had to take a screenshot of the daily mail for this pls be nice, gay little streamers Standout comment:

This was terrifying, thanks

The Owl House

Cardinal Song - The Owl House - G

As the dust settles, Hunter finds himself struggling at the reveal of Luz's new palisman.

But someone else knows what he's going through.

Themes: grief, my lil experimental phase Standout comment:

First of all, how dare you?

Heir to the Jedi - T

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

As a dark empire's shadow stretches over the galaxy, Luz Noceda, a Force-sensitive mechanic is picked up by Jedi-in-hiding Eda Clawthorne. Knowing that rebuilding the Jedi order may save the universe, Luz finds herself on a collision path with the emperor and his dark forces. She can save the rebellion and save the dream...if she can find them.

[lumity] Themes: the star wars eu is good actually, i would write a very expensive star wars trilogy, can evil gay nepobabies be redeemed?, grief, what is morality?, queer found family, PTSD Playlist: lots of female vocalists Standout comment:

Oh no. The urge to make this fic my whole personality rises

Heart Streamer - G

When the Gravesfield Rainbow Society starts a fundraising drive, Luz agrees to run a 24hr stream of obscure '90s GameBoy Game Azura Staff of Light Quest: Radiant Monsters. The twist? The AI will be controlled by another player and she's got just the right person in mind: mysterious Azura streamer WitchChick128.

When the chips are down, will Luz's free-thinking ways help set another person free? Will the Gravesfield Rainbow Society make enough money to host at least one panel on LGBTQ rights this year? And just what other fundraising shenanigans will Gravesfield be subject to?

[lumity] Themes: humour, queer found family, gay little streamers Standout comment:

Poggers AU!

Golden - T

When self-assured teen Luz Noceda finds herself in the Boiling Isles, she knows she's got a lot to contend with. Luckily, she's got friends to light the way!

Even if one of those friends is the ward of the Emperor himself. [lumity] Themes: queer found family, can evil gay nepobabies be redeemed?, religion as a tool of violence, grief, PTSD Standout comment:

I had to walk to the opposite end of my house so I didn't try to strangle Odalia through my phone, holy shit.

Make My Home Inside Your Heart - G

It's been ten years since Luz came through the portal. Now she and Amity are expecting their first child. And Odalia wants to throw a little baby shower.

What could go wrong?

[lumity] Themes: queer found family, anxieties, one day i will be a better parent than my mom, PTSD Standout comment:

I needed something soft and by gods I found it

Dimension 20: Fantasy High

Gilear, Inc - G

Gilear attempts to set up his own side hustle. The Bad Kids help.

Themes: one big bad kids family Standout comment:

perfect blend of heartwarming characters and ridiculous goofs

Captain America

Class Pass - G

Sam buys Steve a class pass. Steve tries out some martial arts he didn't have in the 1940s.

Themes: steve rogers as a vessel through which i could channel my hyperfocus on mma

I Could Do This All Day - M

Bucky takes care of pre-serum Steve after an attempt at sex doesn't work out so well. [stucky] Themes: im very bad at writing gay man sex but by god i will for stucky

Life is Strange

Welcome Home - Life is Strange - E

"Okay Max, the next entry in her journal started. So you want to fuck your best friend." | Post bae over bay ending, Max finds herself in need of Chloe.

[pricefield] Themes: voyeurism, comfort

Borderlands

Sleep - G

After being freed by Lilith, Athena can't (or won't) sleep. Janey has the answer.

[jathena] Themes: comfort, PTSD

ok i love u bye

#pinned #if you know me irl #no you don't

4 notes · View notes

sandpapersnowman · 3 months

Note

2,3, 8, 11, 16, 24!

SO MANY okay I'm doing saltburn, gosling, and baldurs gate fandoms lol

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about but have come to like

I've been stuck on this for like 10 minutes but I can't think of any headcanons I haven't immediately liked or disliked orz

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

saltburn: Venetia for sure!! I've been reading a fic where her and Oliver become friends and talk on the phone together a lot, it leaves me cold by nicelittlestyleslad!!!

goslings: I still have yet to see half Nelson but Dan is definitely a character I don't think I would have even looked at if not for sascha and his amazing henry/Dan stuff!

baldurs gate: fandom has taken me from hating gale to being neutral on him tbh. he's. okay I guess

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, trope, episode, etc)

saltburn: desperately want more fics where Felix is just. such a bottom. I've read some feminization fics w him recently but they just didn't hit like I wanted. I need that man dressed like an egirl

goslings: RICHARD AND HENRY my toxic yaoi boys I love them so much

baldurs gate: we need more wyllstarion. I need them to surpass bl**dw**ve as the top astarion ship

11. what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

saltburn: oh man I'm really loving the fic I'm writing for kyn, your love can do what no one else can, and I have tons written ahead for it ksfnfn

goslings: I love my richard/henry series so much. they're both such weird characters and they go together So Well, I love them, and I have a lot of fun writing them!!

baldurs gate: honestly I love everything I've written for astarion but I Especially love one I'm working on for ascended astarion and my terrible bard guy. it's awful and I'm having a blast

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

saltburn: spoilers but. the fact that Felix looks at Oliver's lips in that one close shot in the maze. the fact that Oliver is petting his face with his thumb in the shadow of his cheek. also Oliver baring his teeth when he's silhouetted with farleigh hoooogh

goslings: not technically a character thing but the fact that ryan gosling has called himself 49% woman. I love him. also listen to Dead Man's Bones

baldurs gate: when astarion smugly goes to pick a lock and rolls a 1

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

man I could go on forever about how almost all of my friends have been met through fandom, or how I write every day because of it, or how I'm actually like learning and getting better at drawing because I want to draw certain things

fandom has also done a lot of bad for me in the form of being subjected to shitty takes and meeting a few awful people but for the most part like. I would probably not have otherwise found a sense of community anywhere else because I've been so socially reclusive my whole life

and it's helped me develop socializing skills that DO make me confident enough to talk to non fandom people and like people irl and stuff

Basically like. despite all the wildness I'm grateful that I've been able to find like-minded cool people in basically every fandom I've been in

more specifically though

saltburn: so much of the fandom is like very young adults I've noticed? but it's funny being called grandthey at age 26

goslings: the goosecoooord I love yall and I love all the stuff we do. I've written so much stuff I never would have dipped my toes in because yall have been cool and supportive and awesome

baldurs gate: astarion made me and my girlfriend bisexual and has also gently bridged my knowledge gap to dnd to the point that I could probably enjoy playing it/ttrpgs in general

thanks for the ask!!! :3

#ask games #anon #asks #anon asks

4 notes · View notes

orime-stories · 1 year

Note

#1, 12, and 30 for the ao3 wrapped asks?

Thank you! <3 Asks here, more answers here and here.

1. How many words have you written this year?

Best estimation I can give you is about 60k words, based on the files that were only created this year. But that won't be accounting for things I've tweaked and added to files that were first created in previous years, nor the mess of stuff sprawled across the notes app on my phone. It's very hard for me to give a definitive answer on this given how chaotic my WIP pile is at any given moment (see below lol).

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

Fifty squillion. Especially since falling into this Final Fantasy XIV rabbit hole, I'm drowning in the things. There are 142 files in various states of disarray in Aurelle's folder alone. T'nali's got a couple too, and then there's 47 files in my Baldur's Gate III girl Tesalya's folder waiting for the full game to come out so I can lock down what's happening there. And poor neglected Seluna (Pillars of Eternity) has 68 files waiting for FFXIV to release its hold on me for all of five minutes. And again, that's before we even get into the mess of snippets and passages in the notes app on my phone. (Insert my family is starving please help me manage my budget meme here.)

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Answered here!

#asks and tags #ao3 wrapped writers edition #oc: aurelle silmontier #oc: t'nali rhoka #oc: tesalya #oc: seluna

4 notes · View notes

dreamscapers-syndrome · 8 months

Text

I wanna play Baldur's Gate 3 so bad I could cry. I'm living vicariously through watching TikToks of gameplay... I literally don't have any system I could play it on 😭 it makes me so upset to think I could save for a PS5, but then I don't even have access to my account because I forgot the password and the email is one I also forgot the password to and can't get into (fucking AOL is fucking me over on that... Because I set my other email as a recovery email and that's not an option any more! 😡 and I had to get a new phone and number and I'm basically locked out!)

#personal

0 notes

hey-hey-its-magic · 2 years

Note

I'm interested in your Baldur's Gate University au,,, im a sucker for uni aus and I wanna see where you take it owo. Also, bc of the steal haha

omg it stars my disaster warlock mags, who i've stopped using for bg3 simply bc she's got her own story i wanna focus on telling. she's a warlock pact of the undying and literally, through a lich using her heart as a phylactery instead of anything normal, cannot stay dead.

once again, jaez (my beloved) belongs to @enmity-encountered

(lore note: kelemvor is a lawful-neutral god of death, very repulsed by necromancy)

bgu (baldur's gate university):

Mags woke up to her phone ringing and a splitting headache. She bitterly rolled over in her disheveled bed and grabbed it, seeing the name printed there was “Alfin Eijit-ton.” She swore to herself and answered it, knowing her boss wouldn’t be happy knowing she had been asleep while she was on-call.

“Maggy,” Alfin Agiton’s voice was high-pitched, squeaky, and just as annoying as someone would expect from a gnome in upper-level management, “Got a call today-- found a corpse in the woods. Need you to pick them up. You want me to tell you the address, or just send it to you?”

“Just send it-- you know I don’t follow directions well.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Alfin laughed, “Alright. Go get ‘em. Also-- looks like it was an owlbear attack. That won’t bother you, right?”

“Hah! Not in the slightest.”

“Good girl-- this is why I like you. See you when you get here, then.”

“‘Course. Later, Agiton.”

She hung up the phone and groaned. It was a little past two in the morning, right now. In a fluid, graceless motion, she slapped the shoulder of the half-elf that had been quietly snoring next to her. Gaeric, his name was, she thought.

“‘Uh?” He pronounced, startled out of his sex-induced slumber.

“Get out. Need to go to work,” Mags spoke simply.

“Huh?” He spoke a little bit more clearer, shoulder-length, dirty-blonde hair falling around his ears as he rolled to look at her, “But it’s--” He glanced around, before finding his phone haphazardly discarded on the floor, “--it’s two-ten in the morning!”

“Yeah,” She rolled her eyes, moving to stand up and stretch her sore limbs, “You think people don’t die at night?”

The look on his face was adorable. She loved scaring people. He didn’t know her actual job, she didn’t think, and with her collection of very specific knives on display on the dresser she was digging through, he probably thought she was a hitman. She glanced over her shoulder as she pulled on the simple black polo that was her work uniform and saw that, judging by the horror on his face, yes, he thought she was a hitman.

She hadn’t seen a half-awake half-elf move so fast, especially on those comically shaky legs after she had pegged him into oblivion. He scrambled for his clothes while Mags took her sweet time, easily navigating her shitty apartment in the dark with the barest hints of moonlight that peeked through her curtains. Gaeric was having no such luck-- despite his darkvision, he still fumbled and tripped over her dirty laundry and toys that had been tossed about. Mags couldn’t help the sadistic grin that formed at his struggle. She pulled on her jeans and slipped into her shoes, and by the time she found her keys, Gaeric was half-dressed well enough to make the drive back to Elturel.

“You’re sure I have to leave?”

“Yes.”

“I--” One look at her face shut him up. “O-Okay. Hopefully we can do this again--!”

She all but shoved him out the door, stepping out behind him and locking it. He tried vainly to make smalltalk on the way down the stairs, but she pointedly ignored him. She felt like a damned pedophile looking at the boy now-- he was all of 21, trying so hard to impress her. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was nothing about him that was impressive, except maybe for how much he cried taking her strap.

Ah, well. Nothing a good talk in therapy wouldn’t fix.

She bid him farewell with a simple wave as she got into her car, and drove to Agiton Memorial Services to pick up the company car.

----

Mags followed her GPS until she hit the coordinates of the body. It was right inside the Cloak Wood, because of course it was, where the hell else would they find some dumbass who had gotten mauled by an owlbear but right on the inside of the Cloak Wood. She parked the van on the side of the road, which she had so cleverly dubbed the ‘corpse-mobile,’ and opened the back preemptively, in case anything decided to try and maul her and she needed to make a quick escape. Machete in hand, she creeped into the Cloak Wood.

Giving a wide berth to the hangman tree she spotted, it took her about twenty minutes of stumbling in the dark to find the body. It was a younger dragonborn woman, looking no older than 30, with her chest carved open and her entrails sprawled across the forest floor. Mags simply sighed, clicking her tongue.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She sighed, putting her machete in its sheath and pulling gloves out of her pocket. She started tucking the poor carcass’ organs back into her thoracic cavity, sloppily, and Mags couldn’t help but think it looked like a twisted version of a child trying to put together a puzzle. Now, how the hells was she going to get the three-hundred-pound dragonborn twenty minutes from her resting place to the damned van?

With an even deeper sigh, Mags pulled duct tape from her bag and hastily taped up the festering opening, thankful that it stuck easily to the gold scales of the woman. This was to ensure they didn’t slop out while she was leading the corpse out of the woods.

Then she planted her feet in the dirt, reached out through her mind and into Aenwon’s, and began to recite words in an ancient tongue that she didn’t know, but Aenwon certainly did.

The banelich holding her metaphorical leash spoke cruel words to her as she used his knowledge for her own gains, but she ignored him, as she had every day for fifty fucking years. It was not enough of an offence to demand punishment, she knew, as soon his obnoxious grumbling ceased and Mags could finish the spell in peace.

The dragonborn’s eyes glowed and she roared in rasping terror. Mags just tsked, shaking her head.

“Get ‘em off, get ‘em off--!” The corpse wailed pathetically.

“Now, now, the beastie’s long gone,” Mags crossed her arms, “Come, now. Let’s get you out of these woods.”

The corpse stared blankly up at Mags, before doing as it was instructed.

The golden dragonborn stood nearly two heads taller than Mags, and walked with the shambling limp characteristic of zombies. She grasped at her duct taped tummy, whimpering pathetically.

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” Mags shrugged, leading the way to the van, “I’m not pickin’ your innards up again.”

The look the corpse gave her was comically confused. Mags simply smiled, trying not to be too abrasive or callous. Hells, her pick-up might run deeper into the Cloak Wood, and then what the hells would she tell Alfin? She’d lose her job for sure if the cleric of Kelemvor found out the reason she was so easily able to heft bodies thrice her weight was because she simply made them get up and walk. As it was, he didn’t ask questions, glad to only pay one person for the labor of two or three, and she was glad to collect the whole commission instead of having to split it. Ethics be damned.

“What,” The corpse rasped with the slur distinctive to the risen undead, “What happened to me?”

“Well, I’m afraid you died.”

“What?!”

Mags shrugged, “Dunno what you were expecting, poking around the Cloak Wood,” She turned her gaze to the corpse, trying to hide her eagerness, “Maybe you were picked up and brought here? Maybe someone went missing?”

The corpse stilled for a moment, before she shook her head, “No,” She breathed, “I just wanted it over. Why am I alive?”

“You’re not,” Mags clarified, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. Just once she’d like to pick up a murder victim, hear some sick true-crime story no one but her would ever know about. Maybe pick up vigilante justice as a hobby, “But it’s just me and I’m not near strong enough to drag you all the way to the van. Don’t worry, you’re sweet, endless slumber will come soon enough.”

“What is wrong with you?” The corpse accused, and this made Mags laugh aloud.

“Oho! So many things.”

The van came into view, and Mags gestured to the back. “You want top, left or right? Guess it don’t very well matter, once you’re secured you’ll be back to being very lifeless.”

“You’re cruel,” The corpse hissed, “You’re evil.”

Mags simply shrugged, “Say what you will, love. The words of the dead don’t very well trouble me.”

The dragonborn laid on the left gurney, and Mags got in the back and strapped her to it.

“Alright, well, it was a pleasure meeting you, I suppose. Enjoy the ever-after, you lucky fuck.”

With a wave of her hand, the spell ended, and the dragonborn woman fell limp. Nothing more than a corpse.

Mags stepped out of the van and slammed the doors closed. She got in the driver’s seat, and made her way back to the mortuary.

---

It was now four in the morning, and Mags stumbled her way into her night class, still in her work uniform. The Modern History class was an absolute mish-mash of Baldur’s Gate’s hardest working citizens, from tieflings to humans to half-orcs, with a handful of deep gnomes, a few escaped duergar and drow. Mags sat next to a rarity, although his oddness was blended out by the sheer diversity of the class-- Jaez Yaantau’e, a half-drow by upbringing but half-orc by attitude and appearance. His silver eyes shifted to her clumsy footsteps, and his decidedly orcish nose wrinkled in disgust at her approach.

“Lolth’s silk,” He cursed, “What in the hells is that stench, Mags?”

She looked off thoughtfully as she recklessly threw her ass in her chair, causing enough of a thump! That a few of her classmates looked over, only to be utterly unsurprised and return to their notes. “Oh, let’s see. Starting back at about… eight o’clock yesterday-- cheap beer, that half-elf’s cologne, lube-sweat-’n-tears, bourbon, my horrible morning breath, and… dead dragonborn.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Jaez asked, although it was more of a statement-- he was already plenty aware. This made Mags giggle, before a look from her indigo-skinned friend made her put her hands up in defense.

“Oh, come now! I was on-call this morning, hardly my fault the dragonborn chose suicide-by-owlbear and her body wasn’t found at a more reasonable hour!”

“Your blatant lack of compassion scares me.”

Mags rolled her eyes, “You know in full why I couldn’t give less of a shit.”

“That’s the only reason why we’re still friends, Mags. You really have no respect for the dead.”

“Why the hells should I? You ever talked to them? Most disrespectful lot I’ve ever seen. I had the courtesy to explain what happened to this poor wanker and she called me ‘evil’ and ‘cruel’!”

Jaez hissed, glaring at her, “You really cannot talk like that. If people hear what you dabble in during your freetime you’re going to get expelled.”

“And I’ll lose my job, too,” She said with an amused grin, “Oh, the sweet irony of a cleric of Kelemvor hiring me, of all people.”

Jaez’s expression twisted into shocked horror, and Mags could only cackle.

“Your boss is a cleric of Kelemvor??? And this is what you’re doing to his clients?!”

Mags answered his accusation with a mad laugh. He pressed his fingers to his temples, sighing through his teeth.

“You’re fucking impossible. Absolutely ridiculous. Talk to me about anything other than this.”

“Whatever you say, then.” She smirked at her ex-roommate, “I finally met with that kid from Elturel.”

“And?” He grumbled, gladly taking the escape from their earlier topic, “How was he?”

“Absolutely pitiful,” She grinned, “It’s really embarrassing when they don’t even try to play the game. I said ‘keep this up and I’m going to have to fuck you roughly,’ and he just moaned like some wanton pig in heat.”

“I trust you kicked him out?” Jaez asked, with far too much hope for someone who’d known Mags as closely as he did.

“Of course not-- I pegged the living hells out of that motherfucker.”

Jaez dropped his head immediately back into his cupped hands, taking a long, deep breath. If there was one thing she loved more than scaring regular people, it was getting Jaez wound up. While he didn’t have too much attachment to morality, he put a lot of faith in good sense, something Mags had been lacking since-- hells, probably when she fell head-over-heels for Lloyd Smith in her youth.

“Magdahlia, I swear,” He cursed, lifting his head to look at her, “You make my continued existence painful, knowing there are people out there like you.”

“Oh, honey,” She chided, leaning back in her chair as the professor took to the podium, “There’s no one out there like me-- I’m one of a kind.”

“I fucking hope so, couldn’t handle two of you.”

Mags had to squash her laughter as the professor opened his lecture.

#tag game #fanfiction #my writing #i love jaez and mags' dynamic so much i want to write more of it again

1 note · View note

kaorei-endgame · 6 years

Text

Game of the Year 2017 #2: Divinity Original Sin 2

The first Original Sin had one of those video game “issues” that’s only really an issue if you let it be. About six hours in, you’d figured out there were about a thousand ways to crowd controlling your enemies: stuns, knockdowns, charms, fears. With the availability, and reliability, of these attacks, battles often broke down to your mages/archers CCing everything on the battlefield while your warrior dismantled them one by one. This felt exceptionally mean--sadism in video game form--and somewhat abusive of the game mechanics, but combat was so often weighed so directly against you that “cheating” by charming half an enemy squad and letting them rough each other up, or depleting half a gigantic orc boss’s health before combat even starts by teleporting a poison barrel directly onto his face, was really more about evening the odds. Original Sin is one of those games, like Final Fantasy Tactics, maybe, where there’s a billion ways to break it. Unlike Final Fantasy Tactics, you don’t feel bad about it because, from behind a still-growing pile of saves and reloads, you know the game is happy to return your cheesy, scummy tactics in kind.

This is a co-op RPG I’ve been playing with Graz for 120+ hours, according to steam, and we still haven’t finished. It is, among Dark Souls, and Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes (Fast Karate GOTY, 2015), and Resident Evil 5, one of the best co-op experiences of my life.

You can play a skeleton, who has to walk around in disguise to stop everyone from murdering them, and has no need for lock picks because they can simply use, and I quote, their “bony fingers.” The elves are not only cannibals, but they’re cannibals that absorb the memories of their meals, which is sometimes used to learn new skills and sometimes used to solve murder mysteries. Maybe forty hours into the game, I realized this “being forced to experience a living creature’s final moments every time you eat meat” was probably created as an explanation of generic fantasy elves’ earth-mother veganism.

Near the beginning of the game a black cat starts following you around. If you have the Pet Pal talent you can talk to him and he just seems like... drunk? He doesn’t really have anything to say, but he doesn’t go away. If you walk through poison he’ll follow you and get poisoned too and he only has like 50 health so you’re always frantically trying to heal him because the friendly cat who does nothing except meow at me can never die. If you keep him alive throughout the whole opening zone, which also involves keeping him away from fires and superstitious guards who will shoot him on sight, his head clears and he joins your party as a summon.

Also the whole time he’s following you around, there’s this dog who won’t talk to you since he hates cats. But the cat follows you in real time, so if you go to a distant part of the zone and then teleport back to the central hub, the cat is briefly separated from you while it paths around the map to your location, and you can get the dog’s quest to find his missing girlfriend.

There is borderline erotica at one point where, if it’s not explicitly described, the game at least puts the mind worm of “lizard man cunnilingus” in your head. And like... well...............

Also there’s another dog later who’s like an evil pet of an eviler grave robber and he refers to himself as Artax: Death Incarnate or something and after you kill him you can use your recently acquired Spirit Vision power to talk to/throw shade at his ghost, being like “...death incarnate, eh...? :) :) :) :) :)” But it’s kind of wasted because even as a ghost (dog (way of the samurai)) he still thinks he’s pretty hot shit.

There are premade characters who have different dialogue tags, most of which seem to amount to jack shit, like almost any RPG with dialogue trees, but the one I picked, Lohse, is some sort of psychic medium who spirits would just hang out in, which was fun until a really bad demon got into her. Sometimes the really bad demon makes her do things that are completely out of her control, like try to murder an elf who’s trying to help you exorcise him, and isn’t it your favorite thing when games present you with a bunch of false dialogue options?

You start Divinity 2 a political prisoner. Unlike Skyrim, where you’re bound for the chopping block and then five minutes later someone’s telling you you’re a god, Divinity sits you on its prison island for something to the tune of 30 hours (then it tells you, more or less, that you’re a god). Because you have a collar on that restricts your scary magic powers, your overconfident jailers basically let you have the run of the place. You are hemmed in just enough to feel your yoke, and much of the early doings is learning where you may and may not go, and which places, just outside of your captor’s line of sight, are okay to seek out dirty business (i.e.: steal a few valuable paintings from).

So you poke at all the nooks and crannies of this just-right sized zone, retrieving gloves of teleportation from the stomachs of hungry lizards, helping that dog find his girlfriend, and making painstaking progress on your escape. This is a tight, interesting area, far better than any of those in the first Original Sin, where there’s not even all that much combat. You bum around with a bunch of prisoners, some of whom certain party members have vendettas against/want to murder, but most of whom are like... chill old ladies that sell you water spells and will give you a free scroll if you give them a shoulder to cry on. Eventually, you kill the mob boss (but don’t let me see you laying a finger on Butter). If you’re a really good person, you kill all the magisters--who are basically the cops of the magic world--on the way out the door.

Boy oh boy, the jump in writing/world texture/everything from the last game. The move from “aggressively generic fairy tale stuff” to “moderately generic CRPG world” doesn’t put the writing in Witcher territory or nothing, but it’s much easier to appreciate the quirks of the setting, which holds strange sidequests where you help a bunch of thousand-year-old wizards who have been cursed to for all eternity to be both 1) pigs 2) pigs who are on fire, when you aren’t dealing voice acting that seems to be literally on purpose trying to kill you.

I’m of two minds about the changes to combat. Now characters have magical/physical “armor” that acts as a Halo-style rechargeable shield, protecting character’s vitality and also making them immune to status effects. Since most enemies have as much armor as they do health, that means they’re half dead by the time they’re vulnerable to being sleeped/charmed/whatever, and so crowd control has substantially depleted in value. Which mutes some of the “controlled chaos” feel of the first game--kind of a let down--but does tacitly nudge you into trying out the rest of the game’s broad spreadsheet of abilities, such as a teleport jump for fighters that sprays fire all over the landing zone, or a summoner’s ability to conjure an Inner Demon which both terrifies her opponents AND punches enemies that come into melee range with gigantic purple mind fists (essentially, we have been given Star Platinums of our very own).

And the uncontrolled chaos, where you laugh at the idiot NPC wasting its turn casting Rain until the next NPC sprays the area with lightning bolts and stuns half your crew, where you forget that the whole room is one big oil surface before you do your flaming teleport jump and now everyone in the room is on fire, or a giant Dune worm erupts out of the ground right in the middle of your boss fight and your enemies start attacking it instead and you’re like “.....so are we friends now?” and it’s like haha, nope, they still fuckin’ hate your guts and this battle just got even stupider and twice as long, so I hope you brought healing potions.

If anything, these changes have the unique effect of making me seriously consider playing this 100+ hour monster game that requires 100% of your attention and thought processes at all time (okay so sometimes I checked in on Fire Emblem on my phone during Graz’s turns, but that’s a given) sometime before the next decade. I suspect higher difficulties return a lot of weight to crowd control abilities.

Even though I know Baldur’s Gate has co-op, I didn’t think they could make a game like this. A gigantic, fully featured co-op CRPG where the other player doesn’t have to tolerate being a henchman at best. Where you can both run around talking to whomever you want and progressing quests however you feel like, and then come back together twenty minutes later to compare notes. Where you spend 3+ hours over two days on a single battle, reviewing plays and planning out turns like a pair of football coaches, micro-managing which of you is going to “waste” their turns conscientiously teleporting a friendly, but foolhardy, NPC out of harm’s way (or turning him into a chicken) so he’ll stop trying to impale himself on the NECRO-TENTACLE FIRE that you discovered, in this very battle, spurts out of every oily blob from the void beyond space after their death. And what’s that, four turns in the fire blobs start spawning?

Moreover, though every part of Divinity seems stupid, ramshackle, and tied together with twine, it’s often one step ahead of you. Regular attacks are governed only by cooldowns, but the most powerful spells are restricted by an MP-stand-in called “source” (still, charmingly, pronounced close enough to “sauce”). A difficult resource to replenish, we rarely used source abilities early in the game. But a couple hours after it came to a head, and I started saying “you know, I’m getting a little sick of teleporting back to the giant Source juice box in the hidden basement of this lady’s house every time I want to use Black Shroud,” and was decrying how if they replenished your Source after every fight, making it a per-battle resource, the game would be much more interesting they... give you an ability that functionally does that, and combat becomes much more interesting, on the exact right timeline for me to understand what I’ve gained with this power, having been frustrated for so long by its absence.

I gave up on trying to describe this game concisely. I’m not sure there’s a way to do so, when its whole ethos is jury-rigging systems onto systems and throwing weird events at you constantly and the whole thing chugs along like it was meant to be--damn, it never even crashed until I tried to install a mod. At the strange intersection between narrative and mechanics this game presents, if you think about it, you can almost always do it. You can skip an entire hedge maze by teleporting through its portcullises. If it’d take too long to loot a chest in plain sight of its owner, you can use your Polymorph abilities to turn invisible, pick it up, and send it to the inventory of your lockpicker, waiting outside. You can go upstairs at a bordello. When you wake up, predictably, you’re naked and being robbed. Only, oops, the robbers didn’t reckon your friends would have a magical teleportation pyramid locked onto your signal.

In the same town, this maid crying about losing her owner’s purse robs you, and if you’re sympathetic about it and give her a hug when she asks, she picks your pocket, and the only way you’d know about it is if you check your gold total after the conversation because, let’s be real, she was acting super sketch. I mean damn, the game somehow makes scrolls, the categorical worst item class in all western RPGs, worthwhile. Who wants a one-use item when you can just learn the spell forever? Until the first time you come to truly understand that a short 3-turn cooldown in “Divinity Time” could be the better part of an hour, and therefore a hundred and twenty seven gold for an Armor of Frost scroll is a small price to pay for peace of mind when The Red Prince needs an extra dose of magical armor like right now.

And for all the ways you can bring ruin upon your enemies, all the stupid tricks and techniques that really shouldn’t work but somehow always do, the thing that actually breaks the game? The item that made us look at each other and go “we should probably never use this item again if we want to keep having fun.”

Green Tea.

Conservatively, 200+ hours of my life has gone to these games, and when this one is over, I’ll still feel like it wasn’t enough.

#divinity #divinity original sin #game of the year #goty #fast karate game of the year #goty 2018

9 notes · View notes