#bannedtogetherbingo2020

[ashleybenlove]

Title: The Magic of Yelling at Spitelout

Prompt: Yelling at Parent or Guardian

Summary: Hiccup yells at Spitelout to do something and he does it! Also, Hiccup gets tried for murder and witchcraft!

Fandom: How To Train Your Dragon

Pairing: None

Word Count: 875

Rating: Teen

Warnings: character death, telling someone to die, child abuse

Disclaimer: I don’t own the source material in this fanfic. That’s to whatever company or person owns it. I would never claim to own it.

Notes: There are probable influences from fandom and whatnot in this story. This fic is based off a scene in The Golden Girls episode It’s A Miserable Life written by Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan where Rose yells at someone to “drop dead”, and then the person does. IMDB summary for the episode. (Five of my sentences are similar to lines in the episode.) Shoutout to @flurbejurbvondurp​ for suggesting the twins have magic related Hiccup opinions, and to @trash-aged-like-fine-wine​ who suggested the witchcraft and trial stuff in this post, both of which I used. Written For Banned Together Bingo 2020 @bannedtogetherbingo2020​ ​​​for the space “Yelling at Parent or Guardian”. This takes place after Race to the Edge. This is also on AO3.

And it is below.

Upon seeing Spitelout walk into the Great Hall, Hiccup growled under his breath, which attracted the attention of both Toothless and Astrid, who were sitting closest to him.

 Toothless looked up at Hiccup, while Astrid said, “Did you just growl?” There was a pause and then she said, “Oh.”

 It was no secret to Astrid that Hiccup had absolutely no affection for Spitelout. This was a tribesman he deeply disliked. Hated even. Yeah, hated was a great word to put it.

 “What?” Snotlout asked from across the table.

 “Nothing,” Hiccup said gently.

 “Ah, boyo, there you are!” Spitelout exclaimed, when he finally reached their table.

 Hiccup growled under his breath again. Astrid could feel Hiccup tense at Spitelout being here.

 Astrid saw Snotlout tense and her own dislike of Spitelout made her breathe out hard through her nose like a very angry dragon.

 “Hi, dad,” Snotlout said, nervously.

 “Boyo, come sit with the Jorgensons. You should be sitting with your clan!” Spitelout exclaimed.

 And then Spitelout placed his hand heavily but briefly on Snotlout’s shoulder.

 Hiccup growled, loudly. Enough that he was heard.

 Not enough that Spitelout made a note of that.

 Snotlout said nervously, “No, thanks, dad. I’m already eating with my friends.”

 Spitelout scoffed.

 “Nonsense,” Spitelout said. “You can come sit with your family!”

 Spitelout put his hand on Snotlout’s shoulder again.

 “Hey, asshole!” Hiccup exclaimed, finally having enough. He said it quite loudly, not caring that everyone in the Hall would be able to hear him.

 “Yeah, you,” Hiccup said, directly to Spitelout. He even pointed sharply at Spitelout. “First of all, remove your hand from Snotlout’s shoulder. Now.”

 He said this forcefully, sharply, and a growl was very apparent.

 During the pause while Hiccup waited for Spitelout to remove his hand, he noticed that the Hall’s general noise level had decreased. Spitelout removed his hand and then placed it on his own chest.

 Finally, Hiccup spoke again, “Why don’t you listen to your child properly for a change? He said he didn’t want to sit with your sorry excuse for a parent. Snotlout is perfectly fine sitting with a group of people who love and accept him for who he is. And if you don’t like that, you can just drop dead. Leave us.”

 Spitelout looked shocked by this, but started to walk away. Hiccup had begun to continue to eat his meal when there was a loud crash and sounds of gasping nearby. He noticed the twins (who flanked Snotlout on the other side of the table) shoot up immediately at this.

 Hiccup saw his own father rush over to the spot causing the commotion.

 “What happened?” Hiccup asked.

 “You know when you told Spitelout to drop dead?” Tuffnut asked.

 “Yeah?” Hiccup said.

 “I think he did!” Tuffnut exclaimed, sounding very enthusiastic about the whole thing.

 “Bro, I told you! Hiccup is a wizard!” Ruffnut exclaimed. This was said far too loudly.

 “Shh!” Fishlegs said.

 “Guys, shut up!” Astrid said, sharply.

 “Spitelout Jorgenson is dead!” Stoick announced, projecting his voice loud enough for the whole Hall to hear him.

 Hiccup was suddenly aware of a whole village’s worth of people staring at him. Hiccup could have sworn he heard polite clapping.

 “Well done, lad!” someone shouted. “He was a jerk!”

 “Stoick, your son is a wizard!” another person exclaimed.  

 “Uh, that was a coincidence!” Hiccup exclaimed.

 “Mm hmm,” Tuffnut said, but said in a way that was humoring Hiccup and not believing him.

 “Shut up, Tuffnut!” Astrid whispered.

 “Are we supposed to have a trial for this?” someone asked.

 “I mean, we’re all already here!” exclaimed another one.

 Toothless made a questioning noise at Hiccup, as if asking him, “Hey, do you wanna flee? You kinda look like you wanna flee.”

 Hiccup instead placed his hand on Toothless’s nose.

 “Can I stay seated or…?” Hiccup asked.

 “You’re fine where you are, lad,” Gobber said, having chosen to stand up and stand near Hiccup. “Let’s get this nonsense over with.” He then spoke to the Hall: “The way I see it, Hiccup was merely telling Spitelout to leave Snotlout alone and to respect his say on the matter, what Spitelout chose to do after that, the dying, is on Spitelout.”

 Astrid was the first one to shout, “Agreed!”

 Toothless on Hiccup’s other side roared in agreement.

 There were numerous other Hooligan tribe members expressing their agreement with this.

 The twins had managed to get several people to agree that Hiccup indeed was at least witchcraft-adjacent.

 Five and a half minutes after the trial had started, it was over.

 “So, it looks like the tribe finds Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III guilty of both murder and witchcraft with regards to Spitelout Jorgenson,” Stoick said. “But the tribe is fairly happy about this.”

 A pause while multiple people exclaimed things:

 “Again, he was a jerk! Good riddance!”

 “I’m quite happy to be a widow! Hiccup did me a favor!”

 “Hiccup is a good lad!”

 A dragon roar from a certain Night Fury.

 “So, there is technically no sentence for either,” Stoick continued. “Just the tribe’s gratitude, and it seems like we are not concerned with Hiccup’s association with witchcraft, so that sentence is waived.”

 “Hiccup being magic is awesome!” Tuffnut exclaimed.

 The tribe cheered.

[fangirlshrewt97]

DuckTales Fic - Hey Brother, I’m Back!

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: DuckTales (2017)

Pairing: Della Duck & Donald Duck

Characters: Della Duck, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Mrs. Beakley, Others mentioned

Rating: Teen and Up (1 swear word)

Warnings: None

Additional Tags: Sibling bonding, Reunion, Late Night Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Banned Together Bingo 2020, Prompt: Talking Animals

Summary: My take on Della and Donald’s conversation post-reunion

“I thought you were dead.” His tone was flat, eyes hard, fists clenched.

That shut her up.

Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550339

                                                           /////

It was nearing midnight when the Duck Family finally retired for the day, each exhausted after a packed day of reunions, failed plans, and a Moon invasion. Those didn’t happen every day after all. Launchpad had offered to take the moon people to one of Scrooge’s safe houses until they were able to integrate into Earth’s society or decided to return to the moon.

Or rather, most members of the Duck family went to sleep. Della tucked her children into bed as had become the routine ever since her return from the Moon. It was a long process that involved them clinging to her and her clinging back. These were her babies, the ones she had missed, yearned to hold, fought so fiercely to come back to. It didn’t matter what had happened that day, what fight or adventure, or mundane squabble they might have had. Bedtime was sacred. She tasted the regret of every second she had missed of their lives bitterly on her tongue. She never hurried bedtime, stretching it to the last possible second, and staying until all three were asleep, just watching over them.

But tonight, Della left as soon as her sons were tuckered out, which was pretty quick, considering they were asleep the second their heads hit the pillow. She quietly closed the door to their room, gently leaning her head against the wood, breathing in the reality. Assuring herself that the ground beneath her foot was real, the smooth wood under fingertips too.

She stepped away and turned to look out the corridor, walking towards a destination without ever realizing it.

As she reached the attic, a chill breeze blew past her, and a smile started to form on her face. Making her way through the familiar hoard of treasure and trash Uncle Scrooge kept up here, Della made her way up the hidden stairs at the end of the room. The steps up the roof were slightly dusty out of disuse, and she briefly wondered if the boys realized there were stairs beyond the attic.The air was even cooler once she got to the roof. Muscle memory guided her feet as she reached the little alcove above the attic window that gave them a safe perch to sit on.

“I had a feeling you’d be up here.”

Donald’s nod was barely perceptible. He stayed quiet until she settled down comfortably, and shared a minute of silence. 

Then “I stopped talking to Uncle Scrooge after you disappeared. Stopped coming to see him. Stopped visiting this house. I didn’t regret that, I was mad at him. What I did miss was this spot.” Donald’s voice was clear, but the pain was even clearer to Della.

Della felt a weight on her chest. “Don-”

“I thought you were dead.” His tone was flat, eyes hard, fists clenched.

That shut her up.

“I hoped and waited for so long, Della will come back, Della always comes back, she is the best of us.” Tears gathered at Donald’s eyes, slowly started to pour down his cheeks. “But you didn’t. And I wanted- I wanted to drown my sorrows, I wanted to build a rocket and bury myself among the stars with you, I wanted-” Donald hiccuped as he curled his fingers into a tight fist. His voice was shaking with anger.

Della felt her own tears racing down her cheek.

“I wanted to find you Della. Or I wanted to die trying. All I knew was that I couldn’t live in a world without you in it.” Donald hiccuped again as he rubbed at his eyes. “The only thing that kept me here, kept me sane, were your hatchlings.”

“I spent every second I wasn’t with you trying to get back to all of you.” Della whispered.

Donald turned to finally face his sister, looking her in the eye. “I know you did. I know it in my bones. But that still doesn’t erase the fact that you left Della. I know you didn’t mean to get stranded. Or to take so long to get back. But for so long.” Donald cleared his throat, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve before taking Della’s hand in his.

“So long I was angry. I was sad. But mostly I was lonely. I was raising my nephews and it was so unfair. They should have had you. The first face they saw when they hatched was you. When Dewey said his first word, it should have been ‘Mom’. When I finally managed to coax Louie to eat that damn banana, you should have been with me to cheer. When Huey took his first steps, you should have been the first to catch him. And it.” Donald choked. “It is all so, so, so fucking unfair Della.”

Della bit her lip, closing her eyes and letting the pain she had been pushing away all these years to finally break, and soon she was heaving sobs. She felt her brother envelop her in a hug so tight it must have been hurting him too, but the twins clutched each other tight, letting go of over a decade’s worth of pain together. “When I saw the Spear crash site, I thought I was dreaming. I called out for you, so happy you had made it home, relieved, I had been right. My sister had found her way back home even from the stars.” Della sobbed harder, and Donald rubbed her back comfortingly.

“Of course then I accidentally wound up on the moon, but that’s a story for another day.” He joked. Della just sniffled.

Donald held her until Della’s cries petered out, replaced with small hiccups. Donald started to move away only to be pulled closer to Della as she grabbed his arm and held it in place around her. When he settled behind her, she leaned on his shoulder.

“When I was up there, everyday, every single day, I was trying to get home Donald. To them. And to you. I wanted to see all those things, and I could picture it all so clearly in my head. But you know what I never had to worry about?”

When Donald stayed silent, Della turned her head to look him in the eyes.

“I knew that no matter how long it took me to get home, you would be with the boys. I am so sorry I put you through all this, for thinking I was dead.” Della felt her voice crack at the next part. “But thank you. Donald, thank you so much for raising them. You have done such a good job. Probably better-”

“Shut up Della.” Donald interrupted, voice equally annoyed and fond. “Just. What did you think I was going to do with them? Abandon them? They are my kids too Della. I consider them my kids, not my nephews. Every day, I was so scared I was not doing right by you, that I was messing things up, and it would have been better if you had been here.”

“You would never abandon them Donald. But you did not have to make them your responsibility either. And that is something I am never going to be able to repay you for. You are a wonderful dad to them Donald, and I am so proud of them all. I can see so much of myself in them, and I know that is because of you.”

“I would never have let them forget you.” Donald said sincerely.

Della gulped again, rubbing her eyes hard to stop herself from crying again.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too Dell, me too.”

Della laughed a wet laugh.

“You’re the only one who calls me that.”

“I’m the only one allowed to call you that!” Donald replied, faux indignation flooding his voice.

Della laughed again, hard enough to make her belly hurt. By the time she quietened, Donald was looking at her fondly.

“Yeah you are Donny.”

Donald started to quack in real indignation this time, setting Della off again.

The two stayed up for a little longer, long enough to see colour start to flood the horizon again before they got up and made their way to Della’s bedroom.

She was not ready to part with her brother just yet.

///

Come morning, Scrooge was making his daily round through the mansion, enjoying the short while the place was still asleep. As he walked past Della’s room, he saw the door was slightly ajar, so went to close it, only to pause when he caught a glance at the scene.

There, in Della’s queen size bed, the twins were curled up close together, in the same position Scrooge remembered seeing so very often when they were wee kids, running around and causing havoc in his house. He’d even bet a dollar that they were holding hands in between them.

Feeling a newly-becoming-familiar warmth flood his heart, Scrooge stood for a few minutes just watching them, a fond smile over his face. A cough from the end of the hallway had Scrooge closing the door loudly in surprise, only to find Beakley at the end of the hallway with a knowing look in her eyes.

“Your whole family is back under one roof Sir.”

Scrooge cleared his throat, straightening his back even as he felt the strangest urge to sink to his knees in relief and happiness. “So they are. I think it deserves a celebratory breakfast doesn’t?”

Beakley bowed her head slightly. “I’ll get started on it right away.”

Saying so, she moved away, heading towards the kitchen.

Scrooge cracked the door open just the tiniest gap to see both Donald and Della were still fast asleep, and then walked back to his room to start his day, a feeling of complete contentment making him feel like he was floating.

[moonythejedi394]

tldr banned together bingo mods need to stop and apologize

in case you haven’t heard, the mods of the “banned together bingo” have re-opened their event. i can’t reblog the post detailing their “updates” so:

let’s talk about it. what changes did they make?

they released a new version of the prompts. here’s the link. do you want to read 307 prompts? i doubt it, so i did it for you. i also compared them to a list of their prompts last updated 04/24/2020 to see what changed. here’s the list from april.

i compiled the updated or deleted prompts here. from my tired eyes, 51 prompts changed. 6 were deleted.

six.

what were those six?

now, i’ll admit i might have missed some. sure. let’s talk about the “updated” ones. 45 prompts were updated. you’d think this was good. 45 prompt titles were updated, and one of those (1) had the description updated.

it’s this one:

in case you can’t read that, here’s the lowdown: the first box is the updated title, the second is the original title from April, the third is the updated description, and the fourth is the original description. i’m not saying the original fucking title bc we’ve been told time and time again it’s offensive for a good goddamn reason. this would have been an opportune place for the mods to say a quick “we were wrong to use this word and we apologize.” the updated description says “[offensive word] (a racist term, "interracial relationships" is the preferred phrase and should be used instead).”

here’s how easy it would’ve been to fit an apology in that box: 

“the original prompt was a racist term; the correct term is “interracial” and should be used. we are sorry for including the original term.”

they can’t say that’s too long of a description, here’s another description from the updated list that’s longer: 

“Scenes depicting Egyptian worship rituals because "I don't believe any student should be subjected to anything that has to do with evil gods or black magic." “

let me be perfectly clear. this is one example of the mods of this event being racist apologists. let me remind you, before announcing that the event would be going on hiatus, the mods posted a statement about Black Lives Matter; oh wait, no, they posted a statement saying that they needed to be at a consensus before acknowledging current events.

and then didn’t acknowledge current events.

that post, and every post before their hiatus post, has been deleted, so it’s fully possible for people to reply to me calling me a liar bc i don’t have screenshots. go a-fucking-head, babes. too many people saw it. 

events like these make fandom dangerous for POC creators. fuck, this event is dangerous for creators who aren't christian. the prompts included are almost entirely examples of works that challenged the white, christian, heteronormative, cisgender status quo. and given the way the mods describe them, the prompts aren’t promoting challenging the status quo, they promote the status quo. they support the status quo.

i want to see an apology for every inflammatory prompt included in this bingo. this isn’t a celebration of “anti-censorship,” the prompts are racist, many are heavily pro-christian dominance, and there’s some ableism and homophobia in there, too. i want the mods to apologize for including prompts like “pro-n/zi,” “good j/ws,” “good arm/nians.” GOOD ARM/NIANS??? Y’ALL PULLED MY RARELY DISCUSSED PEOPLE OUT HERE TO PROMPT FICS ABOUT “Present[ing] Armenians in a positive light.” Y’ALL SERIOUS? TURKEY FUCKING DENIES THEY SLAUGHTERED MY PEOPLE AND YOU WANNA WRITE FICS THAT “Present[] Armenians in a positive light” LIKE WE’RE NOT POSITIVE?

i’ve said it before, i’ve said it again. this event is racist. THIS EVENT IS RACIST. THE MODS ARE BEING RACIST. DEFENDING THESE MODS MAKES YOU COMPLICIT.

hate speech is not free speech. being anti-censorship does not mean being pro-hate speech.

[lifblogs]

Carnage

Banned Together Bingo 2020 | Death Issues

Fandom: Lucifer Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar Word Count: 1601 Summary: AU in which Chloe dies from being poisoned. WARNINGS: Major Character Death TAGS: Death, Grief, Angst, Alternate Universe, Drug Use, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, No Happy Ending

Amenadiel fought off the security guards, holding them at bay. Lucifer hardly noticed. The floor beneath his feet did not exist, the bed in which Chloe lay was just another hazy piece of reality.

Dead.

She was dead.

Lucifer sobbed, holding her body. His sobs turned into screams, and the guards stood there, watching his suffering.

Trixie came. She curled up with Lucifer and Chloe, sobbing, holding on to her mommy, holding on to Lucifer.

They tried to take her body away.

Lucifer snarled at them all, flaring his eyes that wonderful bright red. Feeling the power of him they broke down in sobs, they backed away, they begged for mercy.

Amenadiel closed the door and stood guard outside.

Trixie’s sobs quieted, but Lucifer was still shaking.

“Is my mommy… is my mommy in—in a good place?” Trixie asked.

Lucifer knew the answer as soon as it was asked. The bright light that had been inserted into his life, his partner, his friend, his true connection to this world he had so flagrantly decided to wander and inhabit, had departed. Though he held her body, though he felt the emptiness of it, he couldn’t let go. Yes, he knew her soul had gone, but this was her body. This had been her connection to the physical realm. This was her home. This was where her soul had been lovingly housed since her birth over thirty years ago. This was what had grown, and cultivated, and allowed her soul to flourish. This was Chloe, just as much as her soul had been. This had been her home.

The agony of her—her… death… was an aoristic blackness within whatever it was that made celestial beings tick.

Suddenly remembering the child’s presence, he answered, caressing her head, finding himself connected to her, of all things. “She’s in a perfect place,” Lucifer somehow managed to answer without a sob. “Your mommy…”—he inhaled sharply, tears spilled free—”your mommy is—was… hmm-mm… a great person. A wonderful person. The best,” he finished in a soft murmur, meant only for ears that could no longer hear him.

CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[insertmeaningfulusername]

Queer West - What if both Kotori and Jay had survived the shoot-out at the Ross farm and had entered into a ménage à quatre with Rose and Silas? 

“The gay alternative to Puritan America began before the first white settler ever arrived. The day before Christopher Columbus set foot in North America, it was a safer place for gay people than it was ever going to be again for several centuries.  [...]  Among the Crow tribe, a horrified white observer wrote, ‘men who dressed as women and specialised in women's work were accepted and sometimes honoured; a woman who led men in battle and had four wives was a respected chief.’” 

- Johann Hari, Independent 

All around the world, queer people and mindsets have been more widely accepted and lived in the past than Western history books want to make us believe. 

[kanna-ophelia]

Hey guys, so Banned Together Bingo has gone on hiatus, and reading between the lines a big contributor to it was harassment from fandom purity wankers. There was a lot of talk about “we have done harm to the community”.

Important note: the Bingo did everything right by any reasonable standards. You could (and I did) have entire categories not assigned. You could (and I did) have individual squares swapped. There was no way anyone would feel pressured to write something they weren't comfortable with. The only crime is apparently having options available for people to write if they choose. In an anti censorship Bingo.

I initially felt betrayed and angry. After all, I'm an ex-librarian. Not giving into calls for censorship is like the librarian Hippocratic Oath. But @deamonia (thanks, darling, I <3 you) gave me some perspective, and the only people who deserve anger are, as always, the forces in fandom that want people terrified to mention things, to have transgressive fantasies, to write about dark subjects, to produce anything but "wholesome", approved, non-offensive material. The forces that lead to discord servers with five screens of banned topics, to antis, to call-out culture.

So. I can't blame the mods for looking after themselves. Fandom is toxic right now.

Hey, purity wankers. One day you will stumble too and say or do or write or draw something non-approved, or forget to put “the passage of time” or “David Bowie” under a spoiler tag, and your "allies" will rip you to shreds.

I'm going to complete my card anyway. The collection and reblogs don't really matter to me. I just wanted to support something positive being done about fandom fear/purity culture.

And I'm posting our tangle-haired Judas Tim Minchin for inspiration. As he sings, he is terrified that one day he will do or say something that can be taken the wrong way by his own tribe (being all us progressive lefties), but--

FUCK IT, BABY.

Truly inspirational words.

[lurkdragonstuff]

The Future Has Passed by Sparky Lurkdragon

Presenting my first fanvid in over a decade: a Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild fanvid to the tune of "The Last Unicorn" by America. I went through three different video editing programs to find a replacement for my old standby of the mid-2000's Windows Movie Maker, and eventually settled on VSDC after a lot of cussing while I learned the ropes. 

This was created for the Banned Together Bingo, which provides prompts based on reasons why works of art have been challenged or banned. The prompt was "fantasy", and I can think of nothing more fitting than a fanvid of a fantasy game with a song from a fantasy film. How scandalous! 

I've associated BotW!Zelda with "The Last Unicorn" for a while, so I'm glad I got the inspiration to bring this fanvid project to life.

It’s also on AO3 if you’d like to view it/bookmark it/etc. there.

[gingertodgers]

New Moon

My latest fic is all about the Patil sisters supporting and annoying each other in equal measure.

It's also prequel to my early fic, Crescent Moon, with endgame Parvati/Lavender and Padma/Millicent.

Written for @bannedtogetherbingo2020 prompt: Normalising Trans* Lives

[phoebonicawrites]

Finally finished my first fic for Banned Together Bingo!

The events of the lactic acid bacteria arc go a little differently, and Normal Cell and Cancer Cell meet.

This one got long, wow. I meant to post it the same day the movie version of the volume 5 storyline came out in Japan, but it ended up being a day late for that.

[hellhoundsprey]

my @bannedtogetherbingo2020 bingo card is yet another sign that somehow, somwhere, God exist.

[fangirlshrewt97]

Doctor Who (2005) Fic - The Goldilocks Vacation Conundrum

Title: The Goldilocks Vacation Conundrum

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)

Pairing: None

Characters: Thirteenth Doctor, Yaz Khan, Ryan, Graham

Rating: General

Warnings: None

Banned Together Bingo Prompt: Alien Weatherman

Additional Tags: Crack-ish, Prompt: Alien Weatherman, Banned Together Bingo 2020, Humor, The Doctor does not know how to pick human appropriate vacation spots, Poor Graham keeps falling because of the Doctor’s poor TARDIS parking skills, Post Season 10

Summary: Essentially, a semi-crack-ish fic where the Doctor tries to suggest vacation spots to her companions, and misses the mark. Until she gets it right.

After all, third time is the charm.

Excerpt:

The Doctor swiped through a few more potential vacation spots, this time, Ryan joining them. There were several that caught the eyes of the crew, but each time that Graham asked for the dangers, there was always one.

Tentacle monsters, giant crabs, Multiple-headed monsters, noxious gas, acid-spitting monsters, poisonous fruits, monsters with giant horns, unfriendly natives, evil tyrannical rulers that were wary of tourists. What was with all the monsters, honestly?

By the end, Ryan and Yaz had joined back on the steps with the Doctor standing in front of them.

 Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25314952

                                                          /// 

The TARDIS fam were sitting on the steps next to the central console waiting for the Doctor to return. She had said she would only be a moment and for them to stay.

“I just need to grab this one thing from a friend, I’ll be back before you know it. No need for you to follow me!” she had said, bouncing around the console as the TARDIS landed on another planet, nearly sending Graham to the floor from the abrupt stop.

“But doc-” Graham had started to protest only for her to already be halfway out the door, coat in one hand, and an extremely long rainbow scarf in the other.

“Five minutes at most. Just wait here!” was all the humans heard before the door swung shut.

Graham sighed. “Well that is not going to happen.”

“Who wants to bet she will get stuck on an adventure?” Ryan had asked, mischievous glint in his eyes.

Yaz barked a laugh. “What kind of a naive idiot do you take me for Ryan? The bet should be the kind of adventure she goes on. My guess is tentacle monster.”

“You’re on, I think it is alien species that wants to conquer the planet.”

“Ohhhh, good one, damn I want to change my bet.”

“No way too late!”

“Graham, what about you?”

“I don’t know about the doctor, but personally, I am going for an adventure to the kitchen. I want tea.” Graham had said, waiving off the groans from the other two. He did press the pedal to get a creamy custard biscuit as he walked by though.

That had been almost four hours ago. In the meantime, Graham had had his tea and biscuits, finished his book, taken a small nap, and wound up back in the console room, playing poker with Yaz and Ryan. The younger two members of the ship had tried to venture out of the ship, only to find they were parked at the top of a very steep cliff with no houses or identifiable signs of civilization in sight. And rather than risking getting lost, had ventured back into the ship.

Graham was chuckling as he won the hand for the fifth time in the row, collecting the candy they were using as betting markers when the Doctor burst into the room, tracking mud throughout the entrance as loud bird screeching followed her. She quickly barricaded the door with the bar she kept next to the door and ventured inside.

“Well fam, sorry for the delay, but I see you kept yourselves entertained.”

“Say doc, have you ever actually run an errand where things didn’t go tits up?” Graham asked as he opened one of the mints from his winnings. From the corner of his eye, he saw Yaz passing some money to Ryan.

“I resent the implications Graham, I will have you know I have had plenty of successful errands where nothing went wrong.”

At the silence from the three humans, she looked up from she was fiddling with the console controls again. “I have!”

Graham scoffed as Yaz made an empathetic noise and Ryan rolled his eyes fondly.

“Sure you have Doctor.” Ryan said as he stood up.

The Doctor’s comeback was interrupted by a piercing cry and the distinct sound of claws (or talons) against wood.

“Whoopsie, looks like we have overstayed our welcome!” The Doctor said before pulling down the lever. The trio of humans just managed to brace themselves before the ship took off, shaking like a teacup during an earthquake.

After a couple more minutes, the wheezing sound faded as the ship managed to land somewhere.

“Hey Doctor, where are we?” Yaz as as she peered into one of the monitors on the console. It was still displaying that odd (but beautiful) circular writing the Doctor had called Gallifreyan, but she could also make out a landscape. It was a flat field, with what looked like medium height grasses (green), under a clear sky (purple, which weird but cool), and a scattering of trees that almost resembled pine trees but had normal leaves.

“Ah, thanks for asking Yaz! Welcome to Brosha, in the Aresa galaxy. I figured I owed you guys a proper vacation, and this place has the best food this side of the Andromeda galaxy made from corn. Well, it is actually eir but tastes very similar to Earth’s corn. Looks similar too!”

The three humans were not looking at her as impressed as she was hoping. Her smiled dimmed a bit. “No?”

Ryan answered. “Doctor, that is really nice of you, but none of us are really big fans of corn. Also you are hiding something from us.”

“No I am not.”

Yaz chuckled. “Yes you are. You have a tell.”

“I do not!”

“You do too!”

“I do not!”

“You do too!”

“I-”

Graham cut off the childish squabbling. Honestly one was an officer of the law, and the other was a two thousand year old alien. It was undignified. “Alright enough. Doc, this sounds nice, but what’s the catch?”

“There are, rarely, every once in a while, stampedes of these huge moose like things. But honestly the chances of that happening while we are there are-”

“Sky high. Doc, we tend to always be around for the once in a blue moon situations. How about elsewhere?” Yaz said gently.

The Doctor pouted, but turned and fiddled with her monitor before brightening.

“Oh, I got one. What about Brakem in the Uccas galaxy? Hot springs filled with healing crystals, soaps and scents from around the universe. Never really rains, two suns, three moons. Gorgeous orange skies.”

“And?” Ryan asked, a wicked smirk on his face.

“Doc, this would be easier if you just mentioned the catch too.” Graham added.

“Average temperatures outside of the resorts are about 40℃.”

No way in hell. Mainly cause it sounded to be about the same temperature. “Next option Doc.”

The Doctor whined but looked at her monitor again. Graham went to sit on the stairs, he had a feeling they’d be there for a while.

“Ok, fine. How about, um, no not that one, ooh that would be, no nevermind, oh! No.” The Doctor muttered as she swiped at her monitor. Yaz went to stand beside her, watching her flick past some amazing landscapes. One in particular caught her eye, and she must have a sound because the Doctor looked at her. “Yaz?”

“What’s that?”

“This one? This is Chebara.” On the screen was a massive lake, extending seemingly to the horizon. The sky was so purple, but so clear she could almost make out stars and other planets in the photo. To one side of the lake she could see a massive hill rising from the ground, clouds covering it from about midway. In the middle of the lake, giant trees that seemed to be floating?

“Are those trees floating?”

“Oh yes, they are Ubal trees, their fruits produce dyes that don’t fade even after a thousand years. Very valuable.” The Doctor explained, glee filling her eyes again.

“Is it safe?” Graham asked. He loved the Doctor, but safety somehow never made it into the woman’s priority list.

“Graham, where is the fun in that?” The Doctor asked, only to be met with a raised eyebrow that would not be swayed. She sighed. “There is a small chance we may encounter the giant alligator-hippos that inhabit the lake.”

“No.”

“But Yaz wants to go!” the Doctor protested.

“Actually Doctor, I think just the photos might be enough. We have had so many adventures, and I would really like a vacation before we head back to the fray.” Yaz said, apologetic.

The Doctor’s shoulders slumped. “Back to the drawing board then.”

The Doctor swiped through a few more potential vacation spots, this time, Ryan joining them. There were several that caught the eyes of the crew, but each time that Graham asked for the dangers, there was always one.

Tentacle monsters, giant crabs, Multiple-headed monsters, noxious gas, acid-spitting monsters, poisonous fruits, monsters with giant horns, unfriendly natives, evil tyrannical rulers that were wary of tourists. What was with all the monsters, honestly?

By the end, Ryan and Yaz had joined back on the steps with the Doctor standing in front of them.

“Guys come on, I promise, the vacation will be fine, I’m sure the bad things won’t happen, they are all statistically very unlikely.”

Graham stood up and walked to the Doctor, laying a sympathetic hand on her forearm. “Doctor, I am sure you have noticed, but let me point it out again. We are kind of one-in-a-million central here. All I want is someplace to put my feet up, a nice cuppa, maybe a chance to tan.” Graham said. Beside him, Yaz and Ryan nodded in agreement.

The Doctor stood in front of the three humans, arms crossed, and cheeks puffed out like a squirrel. Yaz internally squealed at how adorable this couple thousand year old alien could be.

The Doctor tapped out a distracted pattern on her forearm before brightening. “I know the perfect place!” she said.

And then, without waiting for the companion’s response she went back to the console and pressed a few buttons before pulling the lever.

The TARDIS’s wheezing sound was heard before the ship rattled and transported. Graham, who had been standing on the stairs still fell hard on his butt. Ryan and Yaz managed to stumble forward and brace themselves on the console.

“Ow Doc, a couple more rough landings, and you are going to owe me a new hip!” Graham complained as he rubbed the small of his back. Ryan came to his side, helping his sit up against one of the columns around the console.

“Sorry about that Graham! I just thought of the perfect place for a lovely holiday, and wanted to get us there ASAP!”

Ryan and Yaz exchanged glances before looking at her hesitantly. “So…”

“Where are we?”

If possible, the Doctor’s grin got even wider, her eyes alight with delight. “My lovely fam, welcome to Earth, third planet in the solar system, in the outskirts of the Milky Way galaxy. We are in present day Sheffield, the temperature is a pleasant 23℃, there is a humidity of 65%, and chance of rain is 7%!” The Doctor said as she clapped her hands once in delight. Ryan shook his head at the antics of the Time Lord and began to chuckle.Yaz started to giggle before the Doctor waggled her eyebrows at her, at which point she burst out laughing, using the console edge to keep from falling over. Even Graham had a grin on his face as he continued to rub his back. He used the column to brace himself and got up.

“How long will we be staying then doc?”

The Doctor swayed back and forth on her toes and heels. “Up to you guys. How long do you want to stay?”

“Wait, you are staying too right?” Yaz said, squinting at the Time Lord.

The Doctor brought up her hands in surrender. “I’ve got a whole universe Yaz!”

“And I’ve got a spare room with your name on it. Come on, just stay. I know we don’t have crystal pools or floating trees, but Charlie’s pub down the block serves some of the best falafels in the country.”

The Doctor bit her lip, but looking at the hopeful faces of her companions, she gave a single nod.

“Alright, why not.”

She turned and pressed a couple buttons, dimming the lights of the main area of the TARDIS. “There, she is in hibernation. Let’s go enjoy Sheffield.”

With a cheer from the humans, the Doctor let herself be led outside by her fam. Yaz dragging her by the wrist as Ryan lightly pushed her from the back, with Graham closing the ship doors behind himself.

Sometimes, the best vacation from a life traveling was a little bit of home.

[sparkylurkdragon]

Hey hey hey, got my Banned Together Bingo card!

I am very excited and already have a few ideas! Your hints that are not set in stone are:

Charolette’s Web for Sexual Spider (at worst T-rated) (This was apparently a challenge to James and the Giant Peach re:Miss Spider licking her lips)

The B-52′s for Psychedelic (Art!)

A couple for the Zelda series starring the mute Hero of Twilight as some kind of minor deity given he’s still around during Breath of the Wild for Biased (Accurate) History and Accurate Depictions of Ableism

At least one from Team ICO with immortal Wander and the ICO kids  for Afflictions & Deformities (Which may help get my butt in gear to finish Enlightenments since it would take place after it)

An old Firebringer Trilogy idea that’s been itching vaguely at my brain for a while for War Realism

Always happy to take suggestions with the understanding I may not use them and reserve the right to monkey paw them if the fancy takes me.

And, yes, I am still working on Bad Things Happen Bingo, too.

[lifblogs]

Banned Together Bingo 2020 | Pansexual Acts

Loving the Soul

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Pairing: Destiel Word Count: 634 Summary: Dean takes Castiel out to a bar, and Castiel realizes that along with loving humanity, he loves Dean. WARNINGS: None TAGS: POV Castiel, Drinking, Alcohol, Explicit Sex, Anal Sex, Pansexual Castiel, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester

READ ON AO3

Dean had taken Castiel to a bar. It was a grimy bar, except for the counter, which looked like it was cleaned with a religious fervor every minute.

It probably was. The owner seemed very proud despite the rowdy customers.

Castiel sighed as whiskey was placed in front of him. Dean was already downing his.

“Dean, what are we doing here?”

“Fun.”

Castiel looked around at the dark walls, taking in all the noise, the people wearing rugged clothing, or not enough clothing. The drunken laughter, the swears, the pool balls getting hit with long wooden cues.

“I don’t think this matches the definition of fun.”

Dean just pushed his drink closer to him, so it was right at Cas’ chest.

“It is if you want to get some.”

Castiel tilted his head, squinting his eyes at his friend.

“I don’t understand what you mean by get some.” On the last two words he held up air quotes.

Dean rolled his eyes.

“You know… Sex.”

“No, I don’t know.”

Again with the eye rolling.

“Cas, just have a drink. Cool down. Maybe meet some people.”

So Cas picked up his drink and downed it in one go. It didn’t matter how much he drank, for the most part. He’d found out years ago that it took drinking an entire liquor store to get him “smashed,” as Dean would say.

Dean was eyeing him quizzically, and with the alcohol burning in him, and leaving a sensual heat on his lips like he’d been thoroughly kissed, he realized how much he liked looking at Dean. Staring at him, being with him, talking to him. And just… taking in his presence. The feel of his soul. It was beautiful, though he didn’t have the pure soul of a virgin. His was dripping in sex, absolutely saturated with layers upon layers of pleasure and careful pain, and the heat and feel of bodies against each other, in each other, writhing…

Castiel flushed, and blinked, realizing that there was now pressure in between his legs.

Dean just smirked, as if he knew what was happening in his body.

Castiel did his best to ignore him, and looked around again.

Many of the women there were beautiful. Perhaps not his type, but their low cut shirts and crop tops really did draw the eye. There was one woman, a brunette with wavy hair, the purple crop top she was wearing showing the perfect curve of her waist. In a strange, human-like moment, Castiel wondered what it would be like to put his hand on her waist.

But no, he wasn’t here with her. Or any of the other people.

He was here with Dean.

oOoOo

An hour later, to Castiel’s great surprise, he was in bed with Dean, riding him hard, watching Dean moan, and writhe beneath him. Castiel was in him, deep, and Dean was so hot around him. His skin was soaked in sweat, and his chest up to his cheeks were flushed red. And his cock, his gorgeous cock that Castiel hadn’t known he’d wanted to see, was swollen with arousal, and twitching and throbbing with pleasure. Castiel knew. He had a hand on it, stroking, pumping, trying to pull from Dean what Dean had told him was an orgasm.

In a way, Castiel did know about orgasms. He’d put Dean’s body back together. He was inhabiting a human body. He’d watched over humans as God had wished. He knew their bodies.

And to him, he realized, gender didn’t matter either way. If Dean were a girl. Fine. Transgender? (He’d heard the word before, and had Googled it to find out what it meant.) Fine.

It didn’t matter whatever labels or body Dean was in. Because in that body, that essence, was his soul.

And Castiel loved it.

[straybow-facts]

I've been dead here.

[tisfan]

No More Goddamn Sobriety

Title: No More Goddamn Sobriety Written by: @tisfan Square: I5 - “Let’s Roll Another Joint” Rating: teen and up Pairing: Klaus Hargreeves/Dave Katz Triggers/warnings: none Tags: drug use, period typical homophobia references, Vietnam war, time travel, flirting, first kiss, missing scene Created for: @bannedtogetherbingo2020 Word count: 676 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902850

It didn’t take Klaus very long to decide that even trying to stay sober was a serious mistake during a god damn war. He’d landed in freaking Vietnam and everything had been so loud and so dangerous and so deadly, he’d obeyed orders because at least someone was telling him what to do. And because the Hargreeves children were conditioned to obey orders.

Maybe staying sober -- those time lord crazies had kept him tied up long enough that most of the drugs were at least out of his system -- was a good idea. The first battle he’d run into, there’d been more ghosts than soldiers, and it hadn’t taken much to push them into keeping him safe.

But then he started realizing just how many dead there were. Boys who were nineteen years old, who barely understood why they were dead, looking at him for answers?

No fucking way.

Forget it.

No more goddamn sobriety.

The unit moved; at first it bothered Klaus that he had no idea where he was, and no idea where he was going, but as time went on, he realized no one else knew where they were going or what they were supposed to be doing when they got there, either.

The other soldiers didn’t know.

The officers didn’t know.

The goddamn dead didn’t know.

That night in Seoul, he found himself dancing to music he knew, drinking in a bar that once he’d downed a few shots of liquor, could have been anywhere in the world. Half the patrons were speaking Vietnamese and the ghosts were translating for him, whenever he was paying attention, which was almost never.

The rest were American soldiers, drinking to forget that their friends had died, that they would die.

He ended up necking with a soldier -- Dave Katz -- up against a wall, letting himself feel it. But even then, he didn’t want to feel it.

“You know where we can get some pot?” Klaus asked. Dave didn’t know, but one of the ghosts did, so he followed that man, holding Dave’s hand, as they wove through back alleys. “Here, here, you got money? I don’t have any money.”

Pot was ridiculously cheap in the Vietnam era. Or cheap in Vietnam. He thought he might have read something about that in one of Dad’s old history books. That one in five American GIs came back from Vietnam with a heroin addiction. Higher than the death toll. 

“I’ve never--”

“Aw, you never smoked a joint before?” Klaus laughed. Not in a mocking way, because he would never, but in a fond manner. Dave was adorably flustered. And he’d thought the kissing had been new. Just think of all the lovely new things he was going to get to show Dave. 

“Yeah, well, my family, they’re pretty strict,” Dave admitted. “Good, middle class values.”

“Aw, sucks for you, man,” Klaus said. “They want their apple to stay close to the tree, right? Be just like your old man. I know that feeling.” He lit the hand-rolled joint, smelling the lemon and gasoline odor. Took a hit, holding it in his lungs. Dave watched, eyes getting really round, and he wasn’t even high yet. “Anyone bother to tell them that apples are the very first sin?”

Dave laughed. “No, the very first sin is a man looking at another man.”

“That’s no sin at all, sweetheart,” Klaus said. He handed Dave the joint. “Take it in, like you’re smoking a cigarette and then hold it. It’ll take the edge off.”

Just the edge, Klaus knew. He’d have to find some of that prime grade heroin he’d read about if he wanted to stay off the edge and completely safe.

It didn’t take long for Dave to get the giggles; not even half of their first joint.

God, he was adorable.

“You know, you’re the prettiest man I have ever seen,” Dave told him.

And Klaus looked into Dave’s eyes. Maybe it was the weed talking, or the stress. But Klaus was pretty sure he’d never seen anyone prettier either.

[ruquas]

Banned Together Bingo Card

It’s been a while since I participated seriously in a Bingo. But this one, the @bannedtogetherbingo2020​, it was just too good to ignore. So, here’s my card. I will update it regulary and will probably create a Masterpost if I get a few more done than I already have. Edit; Here is my updated card from the Banned Together Bingo