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apalooka · 2 years

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It Lives Within | Chapter 19: Three, Two, One, Fun | Choices

It Lives Within Home Page

Choices may vary based on if Noah or ILITW MC survived.

For convenience sake, ILITW MC will be referred to as "Devon". ILB MC will be referred to as “Harper”.

Note: I don’t have a “Low Score” run yet. I have pretty high nerve/relationship scores with everyone on all my playthroughs. Amalia came back for all of my MCs, so far, and I don’t know if she doesn’t come back if you have low Nerve/Relationship points. So I’m probably gonna be missing some options and things in the coming chapters until I get the courage to be mean to people in a video game lol

Choice 1

I refuse to lose hope. (CONNOR Nerve +5)

There is no going back from this. (CONNOR Nerve -10)

(MC Nerve -3)

Choice 2

That’s horrible. (+ABEL, +AMALIA)

That makes sense. (+JOCELYN, +LINCOLN)

Choice 3 - Amalia Returned

Thanks for the help. (AMALIA Nerve +2)

I wasn’t alone, I had Connor. (No effect)

You don’t get to make jokes right now. (AMALIA Nerve -3)

Choice 4

You have nothing to apologize for. (No effect)

I forgive you. (No effect)

Okay. (No effect)

Choice 5

I care about you too.❤️ (+AMALIA)

I’m grateful to have you. (+AMALIA)

It doesn’t change anything. (No effect)

(AMALIA Nerve +7)

Choice 6

Kiss her.❤️ (+AMALIA) - only appears if romancing Amalia

Hug her. (+AMALIA)

Leave. (No effect)

Choice 7 You get to do all the options, this just determines the order.

Get food for “Devon” and Noah (and ILITW LI).

Play carnival games with Amalia and Jocelyn. (Go to Choice 9)

Go on a thrill ride with Abel and Lincoln. (Go to Choice 12)

Choice 8 - “Devon” and Noah

The funnel cake. (No effect)

The giant hotdog. (No effect)

The caramel popcorn. (No effect)

Choice 9 - Amalia and Jocelyn

That was nice of you. (No effect)

Can you win me a prize? (No effect)

We should be watching the crowd. (No effect)

Choice 10 - Amalia and Jocelyn

How about a good-luck kiss?❤️ (+AMALIA)

Good luck! (No effect)

You don’t need luck when you have ammo. (No effect)

Choice 11 - Amalia and Jocelyn

You’re a heartstopper.❤️ (+JOCELYN)

Could have fooled me. (No effect)

Choice 12 - Abel and Lincoln

It’s nice to see you getting along. (No effect)

Is this the twilight zone? (No effect)

That story is disgusting. (No effect)

Choice 13 - Abel and Lincoln

Definitely! (No effect)

I’ll just watch. (LORE DOC)

Choice 14 - Abel and Lincoln

Yell at the top of my lungs! (MC Nerve +1)

Squeeze Lincoln’s hand! (+LINCOLN)

Squeeze Abel’s hand! (+ABEL)

Choice 15

There is someone… (No effect)

Actually, I don’t feel that way about anyone. (No effect)

What about you?❤️ (No effect)

Choice 16

Abel.

Amalia. (Go to Choice 21) (AMALIA Nerve +5)

Jocelyn. (Go to Choice 25)

Lincoln. (Go to Choice 32) (LINCOLN Nerve +5)

Check out the food vendors alone. (Chapter End)

Choice 17 - Abel

Pretend to be scared.❤️ (+ABEL)

Distract him. (+ABEL)

Do nothing. (No effect)

Choice 18 - Abel This Choice is timed!

Scream! (No effect)

Do nothing. (No effect)

Flirt with the clown. (No effect)

If time runs out, you Scream!

(ABEL Nerve +5)

Choice 19 - Abel (Only appears if romancing Abel)

Kiss him back.❤️ (No effect)

Pull away.💔 (-ABEL) (ABEL Nerve -7) (Chapter End)

Choice 20 - Abel (Only appears if romancing Abel)

Definitely!❤️ (sexy choices and then Chapter End)

Definitely! (fade to black)❤️ (Chapter End)

Not today. (Chapter End)

Choice 21 - Amalia

Dance sensually with her.❤️ (+AMALIA) - only appears if romancing Amalia

Dance in a friendly manner. (+AMALIA)

Choice 22 - Amalia (Only appears if romancing Amalia)

Kiss her.❤️ (No effect)

Tell her she’s your best friend.💔 (Chapter End)

Choice 23 - Amalia (Only appears if romancing Amalia)

Make out in Amalia’s car.❤️ (No effect)

Keep dancing. (Chapter End)

Choice 24 - Amalia (Only appears if romancing Amalia)

Absolutely!❤️ (sexy choices and then Chapter End)

Absolutely (fade to black).❤️ (Chapter End)

Cuddle instead. (Chapter End)

Choice 25 - Jocelyn (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

Hold her hand.❤️ (No effect)

Let her hold onto your wrist. (No effect)

Choice 26 - Jocelyn (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

Kiss her.❤️ (No effect)

Get off the Ferris wheel. (-JOCELYN) (JOCELYN Nerve -3) (Chapter End)

Choice 27 - Jocelyn Slow Burn (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

I want you.❤️ (sexy choices)

I want you. (fade to black)❤️ (No effect)

I’d rather stay here. (No effect)

Choice 28 - Jocelyn Friends w/ Benefit (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

Let’s do it.❤️ (sexy choices/i>)

Let’s do it. (fade to black)❤️ (No effect)

I’m not feeling it today. (No effect)

Choice 29 - Jocelyn (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

I’m here for you. (No effect)

Need a distraction? (No effect)

What’s on your mind? (No effect)

Slow Burn - (Chapter End)

Choice 30 - Jocelyn Friends w/ Benefit (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

Confused. (No effect)

Blindsided. (No effect)

Happy.❤️ (No effect)

Choice 31 - Jocelyn Friends w/ Benefit (Only appears if romancing Jocelyn)

I care about you too.❤️ (No effect) (Chapter End)

I only like you as a hookup.💔 (-JOCELYN) (JOCELYN Nerve -7) (Chapter End)

Choice 32 - Lincoln (Only appears if romancing Lincoln)

Kiss him back.❤️ (No effect)

Pull away.💔 (LINCOLN Nerve -5) (Chapter End)

Choice 33 - Lincoln (Only appears if romancing Lincoln)

Absolutely!❤️ (sexy choices and then Chapter End)

Absolutely (fade to black).❤️ (Chapter End)

Not today. (Chapter End)

Chapter 19 Complete

5 out of 6 Collectibles Found 9 out of 9 Lore Docs Found

<< It Lives Within Choices: Index

< Chapter 18: Kindred Spirits

> Chapter 20: No Way Home

#It Lives Within #it lives within guide #ilw #ilw guide #it lives within chapter 19 #ilw ch 19

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avesseloflanguage · 2 years

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I want there to be a soundtrack to my life. I want there to be a song there for me when I need it.

I listen to a lot of sad music. A lot of poetic lyrics about breaking and healing and hoping and not knowing. That’s what I need a lot of the time. I wish it wasn’t.

But I fall in love so easily. I don’t know if I am capable of just liking someone; the second I get anything to work with my heart goes running with a little bit of love and with each passing moment there’s a little bit little bit little bit more until suddenly it’s more than I know what to do with.

That’s not entirely true. That’s only what happened with him. With her, it was slow and confusing and painful. Stumbling into love, I guess. Then falling out.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me. It’s silly to base my understanding of my own sanity on whether there’s a song to accompany any given moment in the imaginary — and incredibly mundane and boring and poorly written — biopic about my life.

I could read off a nightmarishly long list of songs that I loved because they were written with love about the same love that I loved her with. I still have the playlists. I don’t think I’ll ever delete them. I don’t listen to them, but last summer I was able to listen to the Looking For Alaska soundtrack again without thinking of her.

When I broke her heart — twice, twice, cruelly and horribly again — I found every song I could about being left behind, every lyric about a lover not loving enough, every melody that ached of being broken up with, and listened to it, knowing that I was the one the song was about. I was the one who drew blood and left something broken behind. I don’t know why I collected the songs like that. Maybe it was a twisted sort of comfort, knowing that I wasn’t the only cruel person in the world, or maybe I just needed the reminder that I had done what I’d done.

Loving her and unloving her was scored to perfection. Every moment had a melody and something to perfectly and poetically and pristinely sum up all the emotions and feelings we had and shared and lived in. But that was also the problem. When you only have poetry, how do you say anything ugly? How do you go through the hard conversations and uncomfortable questions and angry or sad or frustrated thoughts when every moment was supposed to be perfect and poetic and pristine?

With him it was different. It was so different, and I was certain that meant it was the right way, the real way, to fall in love. It was awkward, and funny, and simple. I made a playlist before our first date, one full of every song about a crush or new relationships I could find — at least, all the happy and fun ones. The ones that sounded like joy and bright sunshiney beauty. I made it so I could dance around while I got ready, because I was so, so nervous. But none of them felt like they were capturing how I felt. They all felt silly and disconnected and I loved that. I loved that what I was feeling was real and my own, not something that was so easily packaged into a song.

After two weeks I wanted to make a new playlist, one that sounded like my feelings for him then. Soft and gentle and not love but something I could see — I wanted to see — turning into it someday. I couldn’t find almost anything. It was all about silly little crushes or this deep profound love and it didn’t make sense to me. I felt like I finally got it right. A boyfriend who was kind, who told me honestly how he felt and what he thought, one who I didn’t feel like I had to lie to or bury anger around. That’s what I wanted. But they don’t write songs about the easy things, I guess.

It was comforting to me. At least, I told myself it was. It was so far from her that it had to be better, because I was so awful with her.

But now I know that they don’t make songs about being let down gently, either. They don’t make songs about the boy who wasn’t falling in love back, who would never fall in love back with you. At least, not ones where the boy is still kind and gentle and a good boyfriend, where he’s not using you or manipulating you. Because he was still honest and that was why it ended, because I was choosing to be blind and would have let myself become in love with him while he watched. But he didn’t do that to me. He didn’t want to hurt me and now I can see just how much careful calculation went into it, the moment he told me that he didn’t think he liked me, not like that, that he might never like me like that and that he wished he could and that it wasn’t my fault. Two months and a few weeks. Not a short match that burned you at the fingertips and not a flame that lasted so long I wouldn’t be able to recover from the cold of its absence. A successful relationship. A kind goodbye.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. He is still my friend. I am still holding on to that little bit of love but I am trying to learn to lose that. I am finding songs but they're all about betrayal and cruelty and that's not what it was, I listen to them and I cry but I know that’s not what it was.

I don’t know if I want the songs anymore. Maybe the soundtrack is holding me back, restricting me to a path I don’t know how to escape from. Is it really comfort, is it really loving that somebody you will never know seems to know you anyway, seems to capture every ache in your heart? I am afraid of what else it might be but I think it’s time to say goodbye. Listen to something new. Heal. Sleep. Cry and laugh or laugh and cry. Move on.

#on breaking up #and loving #and moving on (soon)#queer #heartbreak #music #writing #prose #nostalgia for last night

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koko-online · 11 months

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Fixing FFXIV : Lifestyle Content

FFXIV is committing to adding more lifestyle content alongside battle content, which I fully support. Endwalker's additions have unfortunately fallen flat. There has only been Island Sanctuary and regular, routine updates to old systems like glamour and housing. I am not including ocean fishing because, despite what at least Crystal ocean fishers think, it forces interdependence and requires knowledge and skills.

Lifestyle content thrives on being social and incredibly low-stakes. The Fêtes from the Ishgard Restoration are fantastic lifestyle content. Bards playing music in Limsa is probably the best lifestyle content that we have in the game right now. It directly influences other peoples' enjoyment of the game, positive or negative. You have an effect on the world whose only consequences are social. In contrast, Island Sanctuary is isolating and only serves as a treadmill for mount reskins. The only effect you can throw out into the world is on yourself, and even then it does not really matter.

So here's some brainstorming I've done to try and help fix FFXIV's current state.

Neighbourhood events

Hot take, but ffxiv's housing system is really boring. I own a medium house, a small house, and an apartment. While the systems and assets for decorating are actually sufficient, it has major problems.

There is no reason to ever visit someone else's house. When you're new at the game, you might invite people over, they might invite you over. You offer or receive faint praise, and then "now what?".

The free-play aspect of it is horrible too. I have visited many venues with my friend, looking for something to fill the time together. Casinos where you say "hit me" every ten minutes (and they get upset if you do anything but), afk dancing arenas where some asshat plugs their boring twitch channel, and restaurants actively hostile to storytelling, where all you can do is order from the menu and leave.

As a result of the previous two, the housing zones themselves are dead and empty. When is the last time you actually met and talked to one of your neighbours? It's an mmo, it's lifestyle content, in theory we are all here to socialise, right?

Neighbourhood events would be map-wide events on a rotating schedule, allowing for different schedules and time zones, similar to fêtes. You would only be allowed to earn rewards in zones where you either own a house or apartment OR your FC does. This would give people a reason to meet their neighbours and appreciate their creativity. Here are a few ideas of how this could work.

Fêtes 2 : Electric Boogaloo : The less interesting idea is to simply copy the formula of fêtes, add lootboxes with cool stuff, achievements for repeated participation, etc. The major drawback behind this is that it only relates to housing via geography, not substance.

Decoration Contests : Give players a reason to redecorate and refresh regularly. Set a weekly or monthly theme that players have to achieve. This can be scored one of two ways. The first is a copy of the Gold Saucer's Fashion Report, automatic scoring based on items placed. This has two main drawbacks : it does not encourage socialising and players will simply optimise the fun out of it like we did with Fashion Report. The second is participant voting. Require participants to register, have a voting day where every participant visits or is led around by the other participants, and every participant votes on every house. This also has some major flaws. It quickly becomes a popularity contest or in-group reinforcement, and any event leading people around needs to be scheduled, which as we all know won't work for everyone. I think that decoration contests are the most interesting path to take, but I cannot think of a way to handle it well.

Trick-or-Treating Events : Not necessarily tied to Halloween, encourage players to go around and meet their neighbours. Give every homeowner a given amount of Currency A that must be distributed to other players in the in the trick-or-treat window or it is lost. Attach it to the guestbook, who cares. Currency B, which you earn after someone distributes Currency A, can be saved and spent on cool stuff and achievements. Distribution can occur one of two ways. Either players visit each home to earn Currency B (which to meaningfully work would require that player to be home), or players distribute Currency A by visiting other players homes whether they are there or not. Put a cap on Currency A distributed from one player to any other one player to prevent 'win trading'.

XYZ Restoration : Probably Garlemald

Low-hanging fruit, they have already done two of these well (Idyllshire, Ishgard), and there was no reason to not have one in Endwalker.

Make the gathering zone the same as the next Eureka-style content, double the content for barely any more resources. Both Eureka and Diadem 3.0 are still abuzz with shout chat at all hours. The Firmament less so, but it certainly was in its heyday.

Shit, we don't even need a separate gathering zone if that's too much work, just put nodes all around Garlemald. They already stuffed an entire imperial continent into one explorable area devoid of anything, they may as well give us something to do in it. Keep the leaderboard system, keep the Skyward Scores, keep the moogle lottery. Why isn't this a thing? No one needs gil in this game, crafting and gathering serves no purpose.

Holiday Events

In my opinion, the holiday events need to be reworked from the ground up. We have been doing the same thing four times a year for the last decade. Cutscene story of mixed quality, maybe a level 1 FATE you have to do once, maybe a level 1 special puzzle instance, get your free glamour and forget this happened.

The problem with this in my opinions is the same as the problem with the battle content in XIV : it is disposable. Ignoring the cutscenes for a moment, some of which are fantastic and memorable, how much event content do you actually have firm memories of? A story to share? I can think of exactly one instance : the first year when they added the jumping puzzle for the Moonfire Faire. It was new, it was fresh, myself and others spent hours climbing it, trying to cheat to the real top, etc. It was a memorable experience because I met people with a common goal, a common struggle that we all endured through for no reward at all, for just a stupid amount of time.

This is a larger topic that I want to talk about later, but the XIV dev team is so afraid of providing the players with pain points. They might push some people away, but are so integral to meaningful interactions. This can be challenging execution, a fight against the RNG, a grind way longer than it has any right to be, competition for the "Come At Me Bro"s in Bozja. Here are some suggestions for holiday events that work to funnel players together either by adding or relieving existing pain points that should be worse than they are.

Disgusting grind : After you complete the event, have an extra reward locked behind a stupid grind. The reward doesn't even have to be cool, it just has to be exclusive (even from the cash shop) and visible. In-group and out-group dynamics will push players to get it. Maybe every mob you kill in your level range has a 0.0000000000001% chance of dropping, maybe completing any FATE gives one of five thousand tickets you can use to buy one, maybe you're given a battlepass that you can trade in for it, maybe in the story a fish ate it, and every big fish you catch has a tiny chance of having it--there are a lot of fish in the sea. Something. Something achievable in the event window if you want it, but only if you are lucky or dedicated.

Content-specific holidays : If you remember from the character creation menu, each of the twelve represent a month on the Eorzean calendar (and ever so coincidentally our calendar). Add an event every month that encourages players to do certain content--the Make It Rain events are a decent example of this. In Nald-Thal's month, crafters get 10% extra exp, levequests give 10% extra gil, and if you do 1,000 crafting levequests you get a super special ring or something. In Thaliak's month, fishing gives bonus exp, there are bonus fish in Ocean Fishing, additional rng on big fish, something. Incentivise us to play regularly. This can also give hyper-casual players a chance to dip their toes into medium difficulty content. Halone could give a real tangible reward (not tomestones) for bringing players without a clear into extreme / savage content.

Other Ideas

Stuff that I think would be good, but I don't really have a way to execute well.

Incentivizing actual RP via a system where session leaders distribute currency to active participants

A tool to create choreography that can be executed on dancers, similar to the bard music system

Art, music, and/or screenshot contests that display in-game per world, with achievements or prizes or something both for winning and participation

Content that must be executed as a Free Company, similar to Diadem 1.0--could be battle content or not--the main thing is to incentivise a close group of friends in an FC, rather than solo FCs or massive ones.

A commissioning board whereby an FC can reward exclusive or even untradeable goods in exchange for tasks (help XYZ through content, gather 1000 oppo-oppo ballsacks)

Devs will never read this, it's in English and also on tumblr, but it's cathartic to get my thoughts out. I'd love to hear other ideas, too.

#ffxiv #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #brainstorming #lifestyle content #endwalker

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sorryjustafangirl · 3 years

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it’s a love story

a/n: this is my submission for the @doubleminor’s #hockeychallengemusic ! im so so super late but i finally had the time to write this. the toronto six of the nwhl have this as their winning song and i loved watching them celebrate this season. and apparently all i can write is matty tkachuk but i felt he really fit this idea

Pairing: Matthew Tkachuk x reader

Work count: 2.2k+

warnings: mentions of the pandemic and one swear but other than that just fluff :)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! also the gif isn’t mine! all credit to the fantastic gif-maker!

prompt: choose an official team/player goal song and make something using that goal song // found here

He had wanted the proposal to be perfect. The moment he knew you were the one he wanted to marry, he asked your best friend for everything you had ever mentioned about a proposal. You were only going to get proposed to once, and he wanted to make sure it was perfect.

Secluded, yet meaningful, place? Check.

Get it on camera? Check.

Cute outfit with nails done? Check.

But a global pandemic was not in his plan. Not even close.

When the season had got put on pause, his parents suggested he come back to St. Louis to spend time with them, since Brady was coming back too. He was hesitant to go considering you were still going into the office for an essential project, but you assured him that he should go spend time with his family. He didn't get to see them a lot, and you knew he missed them. When he packed, he made sure to take the little velvet box and shove it between his socks. He didn't want to risk you finding it while he was away.

A couple weeks later, after many FaceTimes and virtual date nights, you finished your project and work gave you the all clear to work from home. A two week quarantine and one plane ride later, you had joined him in St. Louis. You were still working, but working from the Tkachuk's home and with your boyfriend was much better than working alone in your shared apartment.

Since you had joined the family, Taryn had noticed her oldest brother was a little jumpier than usual. Before, he was more carefree, aside from the occasional moping, and he definitely wasn't making sure his bedroom door was closed whenever he went in there alone. But now? It seemed odd. He wasn't moping, but he had those moments when he seemed too sad for it just to be about the season.

So after Matthew's third sigh and retreat to his room while you were working, she decided it was time for an intervention. She quietly followed him to his room, where he methodically closed it and made sure it clicked.

***

It was the second time today Matthew had looked at the box today. He knew he was torturing himself, opening the box to look at the ring he had picked out. It wasn't too flashy, something just your style. He remembered the way his heart jumped when he saw it in the store. It instantly reminded him of you and he just knew it was the one. It was like he couldn't help himself, looking at the box another time.

You could’ve already been engaged by now. The two of you could’ve been looking at venues and dates and even if he said he never really cared about that stuff… he couldn’t help but long for those things, because it would mean it was real. The two of you would be getting married, and he’d get to be your husband.

But instead of being engaged, he’d just have to stare at the ring and wish he could make this all go away so he could give you the proposal you’ve always wanted. He relived the time he knew you were the one, anything to remind him that you wouldn’t mind waiting until this pandemic was over to get engaged.

It was a home game against the Senators. Nothing speculator, just a regular game that they unfortunately lost in OT. Because it was against the Sens, and because he scored the only goal of the game, Matt knew he’d be chosen for press. He was tired, and there was nothing he wanted more than to see his family who had made the trek out to Calgary to see the boys play. He left the dressing room with his tie a little crumpled from the rush to meet them.

He turned the corner to see Taryn sitting on a bench, with Brady standing with his parents, probably cracking a joke based on the way his mom was playfully glaring at Brady while his dad laughed loudly. His mood picked up a little after the interview and the loss.

As he got closer, he realized that Taryn wasn’t sitting alone. You were sitting there, your head resting against her shoulder, your eyes slightly closed. He stopped in his tracks when he saw your work bag sitting in your lap and your suitcase beside you. Your flight was supposed to get in around 8 and he had insisted that you just meet him at home after the game. This work trip had been horrible, your co-worker throwing you under the bus in a meeting with executives on a project he didn’t work on. You deserved to be relaxing with a glass of wine in the sanctity of your shared apartment. But you were here, at his game, straight from the airport, laughing with his family despite your drooping eyes. He had never felt more loved than he did right there.

A knock startled him from his thoughts.

“Uhh... just a second!” He snapped the ring box shut and quickly stood up from the bed to shove it in his drawer. Taryn popped her head in to see him very suspiciously standing in front of his dresser.

“It’s just me, dork. What are you doing?” She entered his room, making herself comfy on his bed. He scoffed, and closed the door behind his sister.

“I’m not doing anything. What are you doing?” He went back to standing by the dresser and Taryn rolled her eyes.

“That’s exactly it, you’re doing nothing. Normally, when we’re all home you’re like bouncing off the walls. Like I know this time it’s different but Y/n came too so I thought… I don’t know, you just seem off but Brady didn’t think so and I didn’t want to worry Mom… so like, what’s going on? Is everything okay? Are you and Y/n fighting?”

His eyes bugged out and Taryn would have laughed if she wasn’t so serious. “What no! We’re fine! We’re fine, why-why would you say that?”

“You’ve been quiet Matt. You’re never quiet, especially when Brady’s home with us.” He rolled his eyes and she huffed at her older brother. “You know it’s true! So... what’s going on?” He sighed and turned to find the box from the drawer. He looked down at the velvet in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. Taryn moved to be sitting beside him and gasped quietly.

“Is that...?”

“Yeah. I was going to...you know, before the world went to shit. I had it all planned out too. The weather was getting warmer and there’s this hiking trail we like in Banff, it’s only like an hour drive. There’s this perfect spot where I could prop my phone up so I could get it on camera, just like they wanted. But now... I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Do you still want to, you know, propose?”

“’Course I do. Honestly, I want nothing more. But, they deserve it to be perfect, you know? And like, I don’t know how I could surprise them here, because we’ve been chilling in the same sweatpants for the past week! Asking them to get dressed up would seem suspicious and I want it to be a surprise,”

“Could… could I help you? I might have an idea…” She grinned towards her brother, his eyes brightening at the idea of marrying you.

***

“Y/N, do you want to do a TikTok with me?” She called to you from across the Tkachuk’s backyard. Taryn must’ve been feeling the quarantine because yesterday the two of you did your nails together, which prompted you to, for once, put on a pair of pants that weren’t Matty’s sweatpants and do your hair, so you had no problem setting down your book and hopping up from your seat to join her. She squealed and you laughed as you joined her.

“It’s so easy! I promise! So, it’s to a remix of Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ and the only set in stone parts are that you actually kneel when she says ‘knelt to the ground’ and then the camera will start to pull away and then you just freestyle! We can do a couple practice ones before we film it for real, if you want?”

“Yes, please, you have severely overestimated my dancing skills,” you laughed. Right at that moment, Matthew came out of the house with a Bud Light in his hand. He placed it on the edge of the firepit before walking over to you.

“What’s got you all cracked up?” He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“Taryn thinks I’m a good enough dancer to film this TikTok on my first try,” He grinned at you.

“A TikTok you say? Can I do it too? If you can do it surely it’s easy enough for me,” You gave him a playful eye roll and laughed.

“How bored are you to want to film a TikTok?”

“I want to spend time with my girlfriend, is that a crime?” He smirked and you cracked a smile.

Taryn spoke up. “Hey no, this would be perfect! I need to move the camera away from you when you’re dancing anyways, and this way you won’t be alone. And you’ll get Matt’s dancing on camera for future blackmail!” You laughed at her comment and slugged him lightly in the arm.

“Game on, we’ll see who's the better dancer after this,” He just laughed and then told you to tell what the heck he was doing for this dance. After a while, the two of you were ready to film.

Taryn got behind her phone and started the music. You got into position and bumped Matthew’s hip before facing the camera.

Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

You knelt down and pretended to open a ring box, while Matthew pulled out the box he’d been hiding for six months.

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone

You started to dance as Taryn pulled the camera away from the both of you. Lost in the music, you didn’t seem to notice that Matthew was still on one knee, an adoring smile on his face.

“Y/n,”

I love you and that’s all I really know

You stopped dancing and glanced to your side. “Oh my god,” Your hands flew to cover your mouth as you saw Matt still on one knee, but with a black box in his hands. “Are you joking?”

“Not joking, baby, I promise.” He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. It was classy, with just enough bling to catch your eye and go with the rest of your jewelry. Your eyes filled with tears as he started to speak.

“Y/n, you are the best person I have ever met. I never thought someone would be willing to put up with me, not with my job and the media and how I play my game, but then I met you, and it’s like the whole world shifted. I have fallen more in love with you every day, even the past few days when we do the same thing every day. I love you so much, babe, and all I want is to keep being your person. I know my job means I’ll have to leave sometimes, but with me, with this, I promise you’ll never be alone. I want to be your husband and I want us to have little mini-us’s running around, well really mini-you’s but with my hair, because let’s face it, they aren’t escaping the curls,” You let out a teary laugh, and you could see his shoulder visibly relax a little. “When I look to my future, all I see is you. You are my future. And I know this isn’t perfect or even ideal but..”

“No, no, Matty, it’s perfect.” You whispered, your eyes full of tears. “It’s perfect because it’s with you.”

His grin widened if that was possible, and he looked down at the box in his hands before up to you. “If that’s the case, then Y/n, will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, of course,” You bent down to kiss him, leaving your tears on his cheek when you pulled away. He slipped the ring onto your finger and swept you into a bear hug. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to get married!”

“It’s you and me, baby, for the rest of our lives.” He tried to smirk, but it didn’t last long, a smile covering it as the euphoria overcame him.

“Okay, okay, show me the ring!! Matthew didn’t tell me he was proposing!” Chantel came out in the backyard with a bright grin on her face. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face and the two of you admired the ring together.

“I didn’t tell Dad either, don’t get offended,” Matthew said, coming over to meet the both of you.

“Oh, you liar! You totally called me and asked me for advice.” Keith chimed in with a laugh. “Granted, you never told me you were going to do it today… but I’m happy for you kids.”

“I didn’t think he’d ever get the guts to propose, sorry for the wait Y/n,” Brady chirped, earning a whack from his mother.

“I don’t mind, he’s worth the wait.” You looked to your fiancé, only to find him already looking at you, his blue eyes gleaming full of warmth. “So worth the wait.”

let me know what you think! thanks for reading!

#hockeychallengemusic #matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #nhl imagine #matthew tkachuk fic #nhl fic #calgary flames imagine #nhl x reader #hockey imagine #abby writes #again im so so late but better late than never i guess #also i wanted to do this idea justice i thought it was so cute

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “A Mental Thread.”

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a good day. I, as I just learned, got a 5.5 out of 6 on my GRE writing score, which is in like the 98th percentile. You guys may not care, but I had to tell someone! I am so excited.

I guess all this writing paid off.

Anyway I hope you have a great day!

Conn was afraid.

Fear was not something that the starborn usually experienced on a regular basis, and when he had lived with his own kind emotions had been remote, experienced through the lens of others and the collective consciousness they had shared

But now, alone in his own thoughts and feelings…. He was afraid, an emotion familiar to all species but one that brought itself to a horrible crescendo with his familiarity with humanity, and the way they experienced emotion so poignantly.

He had seen something, he wasn’t sure what.

From the minds of humans, he had come to be familiar with bright flashes of light and loud noises that blind the senses, and he would compare his earlier experience to that, being exposed to such a vast well of….. something , that he was both blinded and deafened to the world around him.

For the second time.

When he awoke he found himself floating in the ship’s infirmary. As a starborn he could not detect the brightness or dimness of light, but only its presence so understanding only the blue of the room around him as he was unable to peer into any thoughts close by. Reaching out with his memory, and trying to latch onto the nearest thing familiar, he finally found his first living being down the hall asleep in their bed. He flicked through their dreams like he was thumbing through a deck of cars.

So colorful, and so confusing, a landscape of single images stitched together into a veneer of reality, though it was simply a scaffold of thought that could be torn down in an instant of the human in question was to simply notice how strange the logic of their dreams were.

But they accepted it and moved forward their minds functioning as if the dream realm was a real place.

He took solace in these strange dreams, not because they were familiar or something he could easily understand, but because they were calming and soft and take, and couldn’t hurt him. Even the humans felt nothing in their own dream despite the frustration of being unable to run without great effort, as if they were moving through water or syrup.

Conn lifted his head and floated gently out into the hallway.

Fear tingled like fire through his limbs, but he was calm, and let the calmness of the sleeping humans seap around and past him. He didn’t really know what he was doing but he followed his fear down a thread and through the ship. No one saw him go, and no one knew that he was awake, most of them still slept and that was alright by him.

And so he followed a familiar thread to a familiar mind, not sure what he expected to find, but sure that he would find something.

He paused outside the door billowing this way and then that staring inward at the delicate veins of the human brain. He could see it almost as if it were a visual phenomena, the sparking electrical currents of thought that ruptured across the outside of the brain like a net of brightly lit thread.

WIth each spark, he could easily predict the path of the thread and connected it to the wider neural process of thoughts. He couldn’t have pinpointed an exact source or what an exact neuron was doing, there were far too many of them, but he could still sense them there, he could still sense the thoughts and their connection to everything around.

The human brain was a strange and wonderful thing, and for the longest time he had considered it his playground to do with as he would, to dance on those strings of light and pluck at threads of thought like someone plucks at the strong of an instrument.

But now, now he wasn’t so sure.

He really shouldn't have been here, meddling with things that he shouldn’t be meddling with.

But that was hardly his nature, and so he threaded his mind into the shape of a probing needled, and plunged delicately inward.

Funny how the human thought process could be traced to a specific region of the brain.

Images flashed before him melding together with sounds and memories, which rolled over the surface of the brain like great waves on an electrical sea. He watched as decisions were made in the frontal lobe based on those sensations in the occipital lobe and the parietal lobe.

He watched as the movement center of the brain fired despite the paralysis that locked the limbs in place.

He plunged a little bit deeper, felt the veins of emotion, and the welling of fear, he knew that if he stroked long enough at those places, he himself could cause a sense of unease to grow up in the mind of the human, perhaps waking him from his strange and restful slumber, but the last thing he wanted to do was wake the sleeping creature, and so he stole forward like a thief steals through the darkness of a silent building.

He was deep inside now, not entirely sure where he was, memory was such a hard thing to understand, and he sometimes found trouble pinpointing the origin. He knew it was…. Sort of all over the brain, from the brain stem to the cerebrum, though how it all connected was too complicated for him to figure out. Perhaps if he had more time or inclination he would have taken a look, but he didn’t really care,and thought it was best to leave the study of human brains to the humans and other extraterrestrials

If they wanted it, they would have to come and find it themselves.

As he went he experienced smells and tastes and colors and light and dark. He felt happiness and fear and joy and sadness. All in one moment he could have rent the air with a scream or his heart might have burst out of his chest in joy. Either he was floating on a cloud or he was descending into the budapest depths of depraved sadness from which it felt that he could not crawl.

But it all passed as he pressed deeper and deeper into the human’s unconscious mind, searing and searching, sifting through folds and memories, trying to find…. What?

What was he trying to find.

He thought he had searched everything here, but he knew that could not be the case.

He knew he had gone to far when he made his way down and ran headlong into the brain stem. It was strange to think that there were parts of a human body they did not have active control over. For a moment he sat, watching as the brain ignited the beating of the heart and the slow expanding and contracting of the lungs. He felt as the brain initiated digestion through the lower body, and even felt in his own limbs as blood pulsed through the human's fingers. No, he did not think he would find it here.

Whatever he was looking for was… somewhere in the unconscious, he was sure of that, but where?

Memory perhaps.

But memory was such a large palace? The human mind, and even his own held onto so much that to look through it all would have taken a lifetime. But what kind of memory was he looking for anyway.

He pushed to think, and then delved further.

He saw airplanes and vast open sky. He saw faces and people and heard little snatches of conversation like you might walking down a hall past open doorways. Again he felt the welling of emotions rolling over him like waves in a sea, though he ignored them for the mostpart. He could almost visualise the human’s stored memories as if he was walking down a very long hallway that grew darker and darker the longer he went, and the closer they got towards the end the more fleeing and confused the memories became until thy were nothing more than shadows and flickered memories of color and light, but still…. There seemed to be something beyond.

WIth trepidation, he continued his way down the proverbial hallway, until he had made his way towards the end and finally stopped just before the widening blackness.

There was nothing here

Nothing here but a single hair-thin thread that ran back into the darkness.

He looked at that thread, looked away and then slowly began to back his way out of the human’s mind. He did not want to follow that thread, did not want to know where it might lead. A horrible feeling was welling up inside him, and he was not interested in finding out despite his general proclivity towards getting himself into other people’s business.

He continued to back away until he found himself back inside his own head sitting there staring at the net of electricity that crisscrossed the human’s brain. And from there he turned musingly, away from the sleeping figure and back towards the rest of the ship.

He had to know.

Conn had to know that it wasn’t just a fluke, but wasn’t sure what it would mean if he did discover it.

He needed another human.

And he found that human lying flat on his back in one of the shared rooms, mouth open and drooling rather theatrically. Conn almost wondered if he was pretending to be asleep, but upon seeing the activity of his brain he knew it wasn’t faking.

He picked this human specifically because of his straightforward he was. He wasn’t confused, he wasn’t complicated, and he wasn’t holding some deep dark secret -- Conn knew he had already checked.

So he leaned forward and into it driving down through his thoughts and emotions until he reached the haway of memory. It was just like before, in the same general place. Stepping inside he could hear the sound of laughter, see faces, and heard the sharp cutting of metal over ice. Spotlights danced in the distance, and music played from somewhere unknown.

And there he went down the years, listening to the strange babble of human language, two of them overlapping and conjoining in this human’s mind. He could see the darkness at the end of the hallway and paused. What did he expect to find there? That same strange thread that led into nothing?

Did he expect to meet something other than himself wandering the maze-like hallways of the human head.

He wasn’t entirely sure.

A pat of him wanted to turn back, but he kept moving forward, watching flickering lights. Someone was singing happy birthday in the background, and he watched a little flame flick over a cake before he passed by. The next few memories were fleeing, and based on their edges he could see that they were slowly beginning to decay, as if the darkness was reaching up to grab it.

And there he stopped.

At first he sensed nothing, just the flat blackness where memory terminated into a vast void, and he was relieved, but then, not moments later he saw it. A silver thread of light so delicate it might have been a hair cut in half, but it was there, and as he stared at it, he could see where it vanished into the blackness.

He stepped away.

This was…. Something strange, something…. Wrong

Did all the humans have these.

He turned and fled from the marine’s brain, and down the hall to where Dr. Katie slept. He didn’t even bother going slowly, but plunged into her mind rolling with facts and figures as she slept. In her memories he passed by medical school, and high school, and her childhood until he drew to a skidding stop just before the blackness, where he found the same razor thin thread.

What did this mean? Where did it go.

He might have followed but he was too afraid with what he might find to look. He backed out and found himself floating in a dead and silent hallway surrounded on all sides by the blazing inner life of sleeping humans.

He shrunk back not sure what he was fleeing from but backpedalled until a door opened at his back and he slipped inside.

He stared at the door waiting and listening.

“Conn, is everything alright.”

He turned on the spot freezing in palace as he saw the human staring at him from behind his desk, face awash with delicate yellow light from the lamp by his side. Dr. Adric sat, hands crossed in front of him, pen resting on the desk beside him.

Conn went to back away, but ended up bumping into the wall.

Dr Adric didn’t move

Conn could see that the man could sense his fear, as easy as sunlight on a cloudless day.

“Is this about what happened last week Conn, you've been asleep for a while now. Perhaps I should call Dr. krill.”

“No.”

Conn’s own mechanical voice was rather strange as heard through the doctor’s head. Conn couldn’t hear in the traditional sense, but had to read it through the minds of others. The translation gloves on his hands lit up with his response and then went dark again.

Dr Adric paused, tilted his head, frowned, “I’d ask you to sit down, but thats not really something you do, is it?.”

Looking into the man’s head Conn cut him off, “I’m not a human, your psychology won’t ork on me.”

Adric smiled, “I have trained in alien psychological crisis prevention as well, but I am sure talking to me for a few minutes won’t hurt.”

Conn stared, and doctor Adric stared back

Usually , Conn wouldn’t have said anything preferring to keep his secrets, just that, secret.

But he was too confused and too frightened to continue like this, so he floated closer to the human, knowing that, somewhere deep inside, it was holding some sort of secret.

“Something is wrong with you.”

Dr Adric frowned, “Me personally or-”

“No, all of you humans, ever last one of you. I can see it. Hiding something inside your heads just past the barrier of memory. There is something in there.”

Dr Adric leaned back in his seat and frowned, “What makes you say that.”

“Because I looked.”

Dr Adric frowned, “I knew that you looked into people’s heads, but I didn’t know that you dug that deep.”

“Your moral outrage does not interest me Dr. Adric. I want to know what I saw. Past the barrier of memory, I saw a thread leading into blackness. I do not know where it went and I do not wish to go looking.’

Dr Adric frowned, and crossed his hands, “I assure you Conn that I do not know what you are talking about. Memory is a strange thing for humans, every time we recall a memory that memory is changed and corrupted by our current mood, or even other memories that we recall it with. None of our memories are perfect representations of what happened. They degrade and fall apart over time, and sometimes they change to be completely different from the actual events. Unlike you, I am unable to walk my way down a hallway of memory, I can only recall the memory into my conscious mind and then send it back to be recorded into memory. I cannot visit the areas of the brain like you can.”

He paused and chuckled suddenly, “Isn’t that funny though.”

“What’s funny.” Conn demanded.

“Perhaps you have finally found the palace where the soul connects to the brain.” He began to laugh, a bright smile spilling across his face. Upon seeing conn staring at him, he waved a hand, “Sorry, it was a joke for psychologists and philosophers. For thousands of years humans have been looking for the exact location in the body where the soul meets the brain, all nonsense of course. I personally don’t believe in the soul, unless you can equate it to consciousness, but in that case we are nothing more than a net of electrical signals running along a bowl of fat and grey matter.” he leaned forward in his seat, “I encourage you to stop digging into people’s minds if you would, and perhaps you might find yourself more relaxed.”

Conn disagreed greatly, but the human didn’t have to know that.

He sat floating at the center of the room, staring at the man as he glanced back at his work, dark brown gold eyes flicking over the holoprojection below him.

How strange, nothing SEEMED sinister about him, at least not from here.

But perhaps he was the only one who could see it.

Humans.

It was always the humans.

Perhaps it was just these humans, but for some reason he doubted it.

Something was gong on here, and he was too afraid to find out what.

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saucylittlesmile · 3 years

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Hi! Just a comment I wanted to share... watching the free dance as it happened, the 5th, 4th, 3rd place teams, so really good overall, and then S/K (silver medallists) came on, and it was like watching the high school play after you've been to Broadway the day before. Yikes. When they were done, I literally thought–wow, they might not even be top 5, they are smiling so big to sell it and some very low scores are about to come in... and then they won silver?? What–how was that even possible?

Hmmmmmmm…. Well that’s a very layered answer from me but I’ll try to keep it short lol. SK have a lot of good qualities - beautiful edges, lovely lines, good holds. It’s not as though they are a horrible team, skating-wise. She has improved a lot over the years in her skating skills. And while the twizzles have always been a downfall of Nikita’s, they hit them both programs, and with Nikita’s back, lifts have been scary but agin, he did well. And they have been the only ones to beat PC since PyeongChang, and while I hate the idea of momentum having any impact in this sport, it’s foolish not to think that it doesn’t have an affect.

The programs this season for them were not great. The choreo had a lot of empty space, rather than transitions. Tons of crossovers to build up speed and then they (as usual) seemed to be just barely able to keep up with themselves, and flail arms that just lent themselves to that impression, possibly to help hide the weaknesses. The open hold style really helps them too in that regard. And I think I really made my feelings known about that hideous music change in the FD.

But the system is flawed, and right now really flawed to me. Teams 2-5 had the same base value in technical, and though PC had a lower base, they slaughtered everyone in points anyway. HD have beautiful skating skills and a really beautiful program and lost the FD to SK on the basis of a ling lift deduction, when they should have been leading them in both programs, IMO. Anyway, the easiest fix, for ice dance would be to go back to the -3/+3 GOE, because even though it was still misused, at least the levels still mattered and it made a difference. But I doubt that’ll happen. I think the ISU is very happy with the way ice dance is going.

#ask

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cpd5021 · 4 years

Text

Club Undercover

Here’s a quickie of a quickie...inspired by the scene in 5x10 of Jay and Camila. Requested by my tribe of Upstead crazies. I love you guys! (Is that weird? That’s probably weird.) Rated M. Enjoy!

Undercover work came with the territory of being a detective in the Intelligence unit and honestly, it was one of the details Hailey enjoyed the most. Something about getting to portray someone totally different than yourself came with a high, every single time. However, this particular undercover gig was proving to be a little harder to handle than most, mainly due to the blurring of lines between what was real life and what was all part of the act. Hailey and Jay were undercover looking to score some heroin from a local dealer and they were portraying a couple. They had been undercover multiple times before, but this was the first time that they were actually together in their real lives too. They had spent most of the night so far seated on an old, beat up couch in an underground club the dealer frequented. They had both consumed a limited amount of alcohol to keep up the act, although they pretended to be more intoxicated just for show. Hailey was currently curled into Jay on the couch and his arm was resting over her shoulders, his fingers drawing circles against her arm. The sensation, amplified by the alcohol, was causing her to lose focus quickly. Her hand was on his thigh, tracing her own patterns up and down his leg and she knew she had his full attention too. Kim’s voice came through Jay’s hidden earpiece, informing him that they were good to call it a night. He lifted his arm off of Hailey and sat forward, using their code to relay the information to her.

“We should get going…”

Jay did his best to look disappointed but Hailey could tell that he was ready to go home so they could continue what they had started here. Hailey had another idea, glancing around the room quickly and noting the backroom she had spotted when they first walked in. A mischievous look crossed her face, so quickly Jay barely registered it before she was leaning in to whisper in his ear. Her lips brushed against his earlobe and she felt his hand instantly grip her leg. Hailey stood, pulling him off the couch and paying no attention to the crowd around them as she tugged his arm, leading him towards the back room. Jay saw the door before they reached it and gripped her arm slightly, halting her movements.

“Hailey..”

He trailed off, eyes swirling with a darkness that told her she had already won this battle. She quickly reached her hand under the back of his shirt, turning off his wire so their team wouldn’t get to eavesdrop on her idea. Then she snaked her hands up his chest and around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Jay met her mouth with an intensity that threw her slightly off balance but his strong arm reached around her waist to hold her steady. He walked her backwards until she hit the door and he fumbled for a moment before pushing it open. Jay kicked the door shut behind them, continuing to walk her back until she broke apart from the kiss to catch her breath.

“This is a horrible idea.”

He breathed out, licking his bottom lip as he took in her flush faced. She grinned up at him, her fingers playing with the hair at the base of his neck.

“I know. “

She replied, before pulling him down into another kiss. His hands gripped her waist, turning her around until he spotted a cabinet beside them. Jay’s mouth never left hers as he walked them over to the surface, breaking the kiss slightly as he lifted her up. Hailey’s legs instantly wrapped around his waist as she scooted herself to the edge of the cabinet, craving his body to be as close as possible to hers. His hands gripped her jaw, deepening the kiss as she made quick work of his belt buckle. Hailey slid her hand into the front of his jeans, finding him already hard as she wrapped her hand around his length. Jay moaned into her mouth as she moved up and down his member, flicking her thumb over the tip just enough to drive him wild. Jay’s hands came to her thighs, thankful she had worn a dress tonight as he pushed up under the fabric to pull down her already soaked underwear. Once off, his hand slid back under her dress and his fingers moved through her wetness, causing Hailey to buck into his hand. Jay smiled against her lips as he pushed one, then two fingers inside of her. Hailey moaned when he curled them up at just the right angle and whimpered into his mouth when his thumb found her clit. Hailey gripped his length again, pulling it out of his jeans and pumping his erection until they were both on edge. Jay’s free hand came to still hers while his other one worked to bring her over. Hailey panted against his mouth and he knew she was close. He slid his tongue into her mouth, silencing her loud moan as her walls clenched against his fingers and her arousal coated his palm. As she came back down from her high, her head collapsed against his chest while her breathing steadied. She didn’t wait long though before gripping his length once again and biting her lip as she looked up at him. Jay pushed the fabric of her dress up over her thighs, giving her the room to spread her legs further as he stepped between them. Jay’s forehead rested against hers as they both watched their bodies line up. Her legs wrapped around him, urging him to move and he pushed his length into her in one slow motion. Hailey moaned again, throwing her head back as her body adjusted to him. Jay gripped her hips as he set about a pace, slow at first but soon his hips were slapping forward as they were both already close. Hailey clung to his shoulders as Jay thrusted into her, moaning into his mouth and swallowing his own sounds of pleasure. He could feel her thighs begin to quiver and her walls tightened around him. Jay broke their kiss, trailing his mouth down her jaw and to her neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there. His hand came between them, his fingers giving her throbbing bundle the attention it needed to push her over the edge. Hailey dipped her head against his shoulder, biting down slightly as her orgasm rushed over her. Jay’s thrusts faltered as his own release crashed into him. Once they were both spent, Jay slid out, quickly tucking himself back into his jeans and handing her the underwear he had tossed aside earlier. Jay helped her off the cabinet, smirking as she tugged at the dress to smooth out the fabric. Her eyes finally met his and he smiled when he saw the fire dancing behind them. He held an arm out for her to take and led her back out of the room. Hailey couldn’t help but grin as they made their way out of the club and into the cold night air.

“Horrible idea.”

Jay stated again, bumping his shoulder into hers as they walked along the sidewalk.

“Totally.”

She replied, grinning up at him. They rounded the corner and found his truck, both eager to get home and start round two.

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead #jay halstead #halstead and upton #hailey upton #jay x hailey #upstead #upton

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halliewriteshockey · 4 years

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OH! A PROMPT! canner/jars and forehead kisses (whether a 5+1 thing, or a feelings realisation thing, or something else entirely)(obvs based on him smooching goalies in the goalie train)

Five times Jared kisses Tristan + one time he kisses someone else

The first time Jared kisses him, it’s in the goalie line after a shutout, and it happens so fast Tristan’s not even sure what’s going on. Jared’s grinning so widely his eyes are crinkled almost closed, and he reaches up and cups Tristan’s helmet, pulling his head down.

Tristan bends obediently, not entirely sure what he’s doing, and Jared releases him a split second later, slaps him on the shoulder, and moves so Sid can take his place.

Okay, he thinks. Hockey players are weird. They tend to be emotionally stunted because they’re so focused on hockey instead of developing life skills like actual humans.

Tristan accepts the rest of his team’s congratulations and puts the incident out of his head.

Until it happens again.

The next time, they’ve barely eked out a win, scraping through by the skin of their teeth and a desperation move by Tristan late in the third that only just kept the puck out. He thinks he might have pulled something stopping it, but the twinge fades when his team lines up to thank him.

Jared pulls him down and repeats whatever he’d done last time. Kissing his helmet? Tristan goes home and watches the game, taking notes on his performance while he ices his groin, and then watches the lineup.

Sure enough, Jared’s kissing him. Tristan checks the shutout game. Yup, kissed his helmet then too.

A little weird, Tristan thinks, and goes to bed.

He does it again after the third game too, smile wide like this is all totally normal.

The fourth time, the game hasn’t even started. Tristan’s warming up in the hall, surrounded by players. He’s in the zone, letting everything else fade as he focuses on getting into that perfect headspace where he doesn’t hear anything except the sound the puck makes when it streaks toward him.

He’s absolutely not expecting Jared to come out of the locker room and make a beeline straight for him. Tristan leans back to let him pass but Jared stops in front of him. He looks serious this time, blue-grey eyes determined, and he reaches up with one hand to pull Tristan down into the kiss. When he releases him, he pats the back of Tristan’s helmet and turns away without a word.

They lose.

Tristan’s scattered, unable to focus no matter how he tries. The opposing team slots three in the first two periods, then another two in the last, and the goals Teddy and Jake score between them aren’t enough to make up the gap before the buzzer goes.

Murray starts the next game. He brings home a win with ease, grinning at the players as they line up after. Jared’s bouncing on his skates, ahead of Tristan in the line, and Tristan has a perfect view when Jared reaches up---a lot higher because Muzz is part giraffe---and plants a big, smacking kiss on his helmet.

Oh, Tristan thinks. He does it to everyone. It’s a goalie-specific thing, not a Tristan-specific thing. That’s... well, that’s okay then, isn’t it?

He starts the next game, and Jared doesn’t kiss him before it starts. Maybe that’s why they win, he decides. Everyone’s bright-eyed and happy, knocking their foreheads against Tristan’s helmet after, but Tristan’s not really paying attention, too focused on Jared’s place in line.

He doesn’t kiss him. Doesn’t even meet his eyes, the smile on his face hollow like he’s faking it, and he only slaps Tristan on the shoulder before turning away, leaving Tristan to stare after him.

It’s fine, he tells himself, and follows his team off the ice.

And it is fine, mostly. They’re winning more than they lose, climbing the standings with dogged determination. Tristan’s able to force himself into focus again, and he doesn’t care that Jared doesn’t kiss him after wins anymore. He doesn’t. He especially doesn’t care that he still kisses Muzz after his wins.

He doesn’t care so aggressively that he glares at Jared when he approaches him after games, until Jared’s looking anywhere but at him and the congratulations he offers are nothing more than a nod before he turns to skate away.

“Any chance you’re going to get past this on your own?” Sid asks one evening after the media’s gone.

“Get past what,” Tristan snaps, and immediately feels guilty for being rude to Sid, of all people, who only wants the best for everyone on his team. “Sorry,” he says more moderately. “Just been on edge, I guess.”

Sid examines him with dark eyes that see too much. “Maybe you should talk to him,” he suggests.

He definitely sees too much.

Tristan shoves his feet into his shoes. “Goodnight, Sid.”

He stalks for the garage without looking back. He’s almost to his car when he realizes someone’s waiting for him. He gives serious thought to hiding behind a pillar and calling a Lyft when he realizes it’s Jared, arms crossed over his chest and a thunderous scowl on his face.

He doesn’t, but it’s a near thing.

Jared straightens when he sees him, hands dropping to his sides. “Um. Sid said I had to talk to you or I was benched.”

Goddamn meddling captains.

“Tell him we talked then,” Tristan says, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “Goodnight.”

“Yeah, that won’t fly.” Jared doesn’t sound any happier than Tristan feels. “You know Sid. He won’t let it go until whatever this is is fixed.”

“What is this?” Tristan snaps.

“I don’t know!” Jared retorts, matching his tone. “We were okay one day and then we weren’t and I... I fucked something up but I don’t know how, okay, but I’m trying here, can you just... work with me a bit?”

Tristan glares at him for a minute. To his credit, Jared doesn’t flinch. He just lifts his chin and waits.

“Get in the damn car,” Tristan growls, and Jared wastes no time scrambling for the passenger side.

Tristan doesn’t start the car once they’re inside. They sit quietly, watching the last few players heading for their cars. Finally, Jared stirs.

“Why did you kiss me?” Tristan asks abruptly.

Jared blinks. “I---what?”

“You started kissing my helmet after wins,” Tristan says. This is horrible. He wants very much to just disappear altogether and not have to talk about his feelings or whatever, but Jared’s twisted to look at him. “Then you stopped. Why?”

“Why did I, uh, kiss you, or why did I stop?”

“Yes,” Tristan says, exasperated. “It’s fucking with my head, so could you please just... explain and then get out of my car so I can go home?”

Jared shifts in his seat. He looks weirdly guilty. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” he mumbles, and Tristan’s bad mood gets worse somehow. “I just---I was happy we won. I wanted to show you how much I appreciated you. But then that time I kissed you before the game, we lost and I know you blamed me, so---”

“Wait, whoa, back up. I blamed you? For us losing?”

“Well yeah. Didn’t you?”

“No,” Tristan snaps. “I blame JJ for turning over the puck and Rudy for forgetting how to be a D-man when I needed him, and the rest of you for not playing a good enough game to make up for it. And I blame myself because I still should have been able to keep the pucks out anyway and I didn’t. What did you have to do with any of that?”

Jared is gaping at him. “But. I kissed you. And we lost.”

“Correlation does not equal causation. It had nothing to do with you.”

“Well, that’s why,” Jared says. “I thought... I thought you were mad at me.”

“Well, I wasn’t,” Tristan says. “Not until you started kissing Muzz but not me.”

Jared’s eyes widen. “Did you want---”

“Forget it,” Tristan snaps. “Get out of my car.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Jared says, lifting his chin again. “Explain what you meant and then I’ll go, how’s that?”

Tristan slumps in his seat and glares out the windshield.

“Were you jealous?” Jared asks.

Tristan glares harder at nothing.

“Oh my god,” Jared breathes. He sounds delighted. Tristan sneaks a look. Yup, he’s grinning. “Jars, you could have said. Why didn’t you just say?”

“Why are you still here?” Tristan asks, making his voice as forbidding as possible, but if anything, Jared’s grin just widens.

“You like me,” he says.

“Right now, there are Flyers I like more than you,” Tristan growls.

Jared laughs. He actually laughs, and Tristan reconsiders the viability of making a run for it.

It’s already too late. Jared is leaning over the armrest, reaching out to cup Tristan’s chin in his hand and turn his face. Tristan decides it would be childish to resist, so he allows it. Jared’s only a few inches away, a smile dancing in his eyes when Tristan meets his gaze.

“You don’t have to be jealous,” Jared says, and a shiver runs down Tristan’s spine. “Don’t you know you’re the only one I want to kiss?”

“Hearing a lot of big talk,” Tristan retorts. “Maybe you should put your money where your---mmph!”

Jared’s mouth is warm and soft, and all rational thought flees Tristan’s brain. All he can do is hold on as Jared deepens the kiss, cupping Tristan’s face in one hand as he licks into his mouth.

They’re both breathing hard when Jared pulls away. He’s smiling as he thumbs Tristan’s chin.

“I do have a confession to make,” he murmurs, and Tristan’s never heard him sound like this, his voice all breathy and soft.

He manages to quirk an eyebrow.

“What the hell is correlation does not equal... whatever that other word was?”

“Causation,” Tristan says, fighting the laughter. “Read a book sometime.” And he pulls him back into another kiss, feeling better than he has in weeks as Jared laughs against his mouth and kisses him back.

~~~

Inspired by Jared actually doing this to Tristan after a win

#woof this got long #hockey rpf #Michaela writes #Tristan Jarry #Jared McCann #hockey

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Text

Welcome back, everyone!

We’re now on Chapter Eight and once again the story is told from Velvet’s perspective. So our starting question is: why is she getting the most attention so far? If memory serves, the PoV order has been Coco, Velvet, Sun, Fox, Yatsu, Velvet, Scarlet, Velvet again — meaning that in a text balancing eight main characters, so far four of them have received a single chapter, two (Sage and Neptune) zero chapters, and one three chapters. That seems rather imbalanced. I suppose it makes a certain amount of sense if we factor in RWBY viewers’ familiarity with Velvet, but I’d wager we’ve gotten far more screen time with Sun overall. My only point being, why Velvet? It’s not that you can’t make her a focal point of the narrative, I just haven’t seen anything to explain that choice in the first 100+ pages. Her perspective hasn’t brought anything unique to the story, something we couldn’t have gotten from the seven other characters involved in these events… but here we are, back with Velvet for the next six pages.

Yeah, this chapter is short. Silver lining?

We learn that Team NOVA is on their second mission — why bother showing us the first when they’re an entirely new, volatile team, right? That would be silly! — escorting a technician “through the Grimm-infested mountains just outside of Oscuro Combat School.” So Shade students regularly conduct real huntsmen work but throw a fit over having to spar with one another? Interesting. See, if I were a civilian who got even a glimpse of what goes on inside these schools, I would not trust these kids with my life.

Lo and behold, things go horribly! We learn right off the bat that “The technician had been knocked unconscious in a skirmish with a band of Dromedons.” For those of you with an iffy memory like mine, these are the camel-like creatures that spit acid and… that’s about all we know about them. That’s really all we need for this scene though because this grimm nailed the tech in his leg, a wound which now requires “serious medical attention.” Great. Gus Caspian, who I learn is a younger friend from the previous novel, is trying to treat the wound as best he can, clearly a little freaked out about being here, “but apparently Oscuro teachers didn’t coddle students any more than Theodore did.”

Do you expect them to? Despite Atlas being the only one who combines their academies with their military, we can’t pretend like these schools aren’t teaching teenagers to wield deadly weapons and kill things with them. There’s no institution on Earth (or Remnant) that should “coddle” those looking to take on that responsibility. I mean yeah, we had moments where Ozpin encouraged them to be kids, like after the food fight and during the dance, but he still took a hard stance whenever there was an actual lesson in the works: “No. You will be falling.” Based on the age of the students, the academies are akin to colleges. In real world college if you don’t do your work or don’t pay attention in class, well… nothing that bad happens. This is by no means a call to not do you work, merely an acknowledgement from a formerly grade obsessed student that individual test scores really don’t have the impact on your life that it feels like they will at the time. Trust me on this. So yeah, some leeway is great in the real world… but when the students are fighting monsters and defending others from death? Then the schools should absolutely discourage any slacker-esque attitude. The concept of any institution “coddling” huntsmen is horrifying.

Note though that the chapter starts after all the action has taken place. We skip the rest of reinitiation. We skip NOVA’s first mission. We skip the attack that landed Velvet in this predicament. It’s not automatically a bad technique provided you’re skipping over boring parts to get to the interesting bits… but this isn’t interesting. We learn almost nothing new from this scene: Velvet misses her old team, her new teammates don’t believe in her, Nebula is mean. Those are the emotional beats here — things we’ve known for at least three chapters now. The only thing that’s introduced is the advertisement on Gus’ scroll, which could have been been added to any other scene.

Let’s revise a bit:

We get to see the battle against the Dromedons wherein Velvet uses her camera, revealing her weapon to Team NOVA and earning more of their respect. Information about Gus’ improvement is shown through his combat abilities as he’s unexpectedly chucked into this battle (perhaps with him using his semblance to further his growth there too). While taking a hit he loses his scroll, slightly damaging it. In the aftermath Velvet retrieves it for him and finds this ad displayed, growing curious. Over the course of Gus’ explanations the rest of Team NOVA is clued into Velvet’s worry and suspicion. What’s wrong? It’s just an ad. But you’re clearly hiding something… Now, does she tell her new team about the Crown, or keep it silent and risk the tenuous trust they’ve just created?

Why is Myers skipping over all the action and potential growth?

Instead we get the boring stuff. Velvet admires Gus’ uniform because of how it’s built for the heat and recalls that “Coco had been messing around with new outfit designs for Team CFVY.” I swear though, 95% of my enjoyment with this novel comes from the throwaway details. I would actually like seeing how Coco combines her personal love of fashion with the necessity of designing combat gear appropriate for the environment. Maybe they frame it as merely a hobby outside of their huntsmen work, giving them an excuse to keep helping their former teammates. That could be cool!

Though of course, this is the series where Cinder, Neo, Hazel, and Emerald all walk into the ice Kingdom with skin bared, so...

(You all are going to freeze to death, have fun.)

“Velvet’s ears swiveled around, listening for danger.” That’s anything detail I like. At the very least Before the Dawn remembers that Velvet is a faunus and frequently incorporates that into her character. She’s on the lookout because other than Gus tending the unconscious technician, she’s alone “on the sidelines.” It’s framed simultaneously as the group rejecting her and as an unavoidable necessity: “it wasn’t like she didn’t have an important task of her own [repairing the relay], one that none of her teammates had the expertise to perform.”

Wait. Why does Velvet have this expertise?

The justification is that she’s “handy with electronics” and “Anesidora was incredibly complicated, and she’d designed it herself,” but that’s like saying “I built a computer so I’ll come fix your refrigerator. That’s easier.” I don’t know, maybe someone with the ability to build a computer from the ground up could figure out a refrigerator on the fly, but they feel like different skill-sets to me. All electronics are not built the same and claiming that because you understand one you automatically understand all others — even supposedly simpler pieces of tech — seems a little suspect. If that were the case, we’d have no need for experts who fix your phone, your television, your toaster, and your watch. Surely if you understand one you understand the others, right? It’s the same assumption here: If Velvet can understand building a hard light weapon, then she must understand relay communications too!

…right.

She even goes so far as to say that they “probably should have left the technician at Oscuro—she could have done this on her own” yet just a few minutes later it’s, “Velvet double-checked everything. She didn’t know what was wrong. She glanced back at the technician, Gus still at his side. The guy was out cold. He’d taken a pretty hard knock to the head. Well, she had tried.” So she’s confident enough to think that the technician is unnecessary one moment and then looking to him for help the next? Which of course isn’t followed by any sort of revelation. Velvet doesn’t acknowledge that her knowledge isn’t as specialized as she had assumed it was, or that huntsmen rely on non-combat experts for other things. She just shrugs and…

…kicks it.

Yeah. Velvet’s skill amounts to kicking the box until it works. Which, of course, it does.

I can’t with this novel.

More seriously though, that’s terrible characterization. Not only does it undermine Velvet’s actual skill to reduce it to being “handy with electronics” — isn’t every huntsmen “handy with electronics” then, considering they all build their gun/energy/dust weaponry in school? — but it adds another layer of supposed uselessness to the adult professionals around her. Theodore doesn’t teach them anything because, as their headmaster, he’s removed from everyday interactions. Rumpole can’t be trusted now and every lesson she tries to impart is rejected. The unnamed technician who is referred to only by his professional title is deemed unnecessary, knocked out, and then indeed proves useless when Velvet magically does his job for him. So why are any of them in school? Why aren’t they just running the world with their superior knowledge and skill-sets? Every time the RWBY franchise puts its characters in a position where they might actually learn something through failure, it pulls back at the last second. ‘Never mind, they actually knew this all along!’ Or, ‘Never mind, the things they’ve been taught are stupid, so best to forget them!’ I struggle to understand what kind of story I’m reading — or watching — when the characters are already framed as perfect. Or rather, flaws absolutely exist (as these recaps attest), but the story pretends they’re not there.

I hesitate to use the term “Mary Sue” here due to its origins and history. Meaning, the Mary Sue was conceived of as a parody, a deliberate exaggeration to comment on the types of characters written in the Star Trek fandom. Then people began using “Mary Sue” as a catch-all term for any female character that people deemed too talented (regardless of how talented their male counterparts might be), we started acknowledging the sexist undertones of that, then started reclaiming the term as something to celebrate and embrace… but we haven’t quite gotten there yet. “Mary Sue” is still a pretty loaded name to force on a character and it carries a lot of implications that I absolutely do not want to attach to Velvet. Yet it’s also the closest term I know to describe the act of an author giving a character what feels like a badly justified skillset. Such as “handy with technology” actually meaning “can fix anything powered by electricity or Dust as the plot needs.”

Velvet is the action movie hacker going, “I’m in” is what I’m getting at. It’s not a compliment lol.

During all this grimm watching and relay fixing, Gus wants to know why they don’t just high-tail it out of there. Especially since the person they brought to do a specific job can no longer do that job. Mission’s a bust. Velvet gives what sounds like a decent explanation: “Retreating from Grimm isn’t an option when you’re fighting this close to a settlement. If we leave without destroying them, the Grimm will just look for another target.” AKA the settlement itself.

Thing is, by this logic any grimm that are currently close enough to attack them are already close enough to the settlement to latch onto those people as the next target. They’d pick up on the civilians whether Velvet’s group was there to kill them or not. The group is there though, so they feel responsible, but why not just head to the settlement anyway? If the grimm follow you, fine. You can still fight them AND you now get the additional benefit of any other huntsmen/students who might be there. If they don’t follow you, great. If they were close enough to the settlement all along… again, this was always going to happen.

Which, to be clear, isn’t the worst stance to take. I understand them wanting to avoid any potential risk by leaving/leading the grimm towards anyone else. I only want to point out the additional stupidity of fighting them when you’ve already got an unconscious civilian in your care, a barely trained student, and the whole reason you came out here might now be for naught. Yeah, Velvet gets the relay working with her magic kick and yeah, the rest of the team handles the grimm just fine, but none of them are able to see into the future and know that both these events will occur. Gus’ ‘Why are we staying here? It’s dangerous and pointless’ question has merit.

But of course, no one in RWBY would ever consider retreat. It’s a very iffy characteristic at this point.

We learn — or at least I learn now — that Gus’ semblance is the ability to enhance others’ emotions, so basically the opposite of Ren’s. That would indeed be incredibly handy provided he has good control over it. We get another reference to Yatsuhashi’s “meditation exercises” that helped Gus’ grandfather in the last novel. Velvet theorizes that his improved memory has more to do with Yatsuhashi’s semblance than any generic meditation: “No one knew for sure what Yatsuhashi had done with his Semblance when he’d tried to heal Edward’s mind … even Yatsuhashi wasn’t sure. His ability was to erase memories, but it was possible that there was more to Yatsu’s Semblance than that.” Um… subtle yikes? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad things have turned out well for the guy, but if I were the grandfather—or a family member of his—I wouldn’t really want a student messing around with my mind when he “wasn’t sure” what he was doing. Especially when the base skill is to erase memories, not recover or strengthen them. Honestly, I love taking a good look at fantasy series because half the time you realize how horrifying things actually are, once you strip away the common place aspects of these skills. An equivalent third year college student is running around experimenting with peoples’ memories to see if he can achieve something other than erasing them. Great!

The good thing is that Yatsuhashi is just as suspicious of this power as I am. Velvet things that he “hated messing with people’s minds.” Understandable, bud. I’d hate the ability too.

While they’ve got this time alone, Gus mentions that he had planned to contact Velvet soon anyway. Two of his classmates have gone missing and though his school has told Shade about it—there’s at least some of that additional info that Rumpole mentioned—he wanted to let her know too because remember, no one in this franchise trusts the professionals to fix problems. It’s a mindset I’d better understand if the professionals were actually inept. Or the protagonists weren’t training to be those professionals. It’s still exceedingly weird to me that there’s so little respect and trust for huntsmen while they desperately try to become huntsmen…

Something something broken systems, but RWBY isn’t interested in exploring that.

So yeah, Gus ropes Velvet in with the hope that she can help. He says that they were last seen attending a new club called Mirage that hosts one-on-one fights for a championship title. So… it’s not really a club, right? Sure, sure, we’ve all seen Fight Club, but generally that’s used to describe dancing, not fighting. It’s a rather misleading term for what they were actually looking for. No one else finds this odd though. Nor that the information was sent out to select, powerful individuals. Nothing shady about this, folks! Velvet obviously recognizes all these details—a club, powerful semblances, a crown in the advertisement—and asks Gus to pass it along to her.

Our plot forwarded ever so slightly, their conversation ends as Arslan calls Velvet on the now fixed connection. One of the first thing she says is that Octavia used the other students as bait for the grimm.

At least Velvet shares my reaction: “What?!”

Octavia then takes an already bad situation and makes it that much worse. Listening in, she defiantly says, “That’s right. And it worked. It’s called strategy.” She confirms that the students are “mostly” okay and taunts Velvet about inviting them to her “Baby Brigade and you can all cry about it!” I hope I don’t need to take up precious document space by explaining how awful this is. Overlooking the fact that these would-be huntsmen are willing to put their younger peers’ lives in danger like that—and then mock them for needing mental health resources after the fact—why is Octavia the one pulling the murderous Mean Girl act? Yeah, she was an asshole during reinitiation, but wasn’t the whole point of that to demonstrate that she and Velvet got a little closer? Even if she won’t admit it? She saved Velvet from flying down that hole, but now she risks the lives of students at least three years her junior? If anyone should be this violent and antagonistic towards Velvet, it’s Nebula. The most she’s done for Velvet is offer a hand up, otherwise we just watched her express glee in getting to fight her and mock her for not abandoning Beacon… the same sort of behavior we’re seeing from Octavia now. Does Myers think that these two characters are interchangeable? That he can just pick one willy-nilly per chapter and let her play at being Velvet’s Mean Girl?

As a lovely anon reminded me recently, these are also the girls that were created and backed by fans. If I had put money and creative energy into these OCs, I’d be pretty frustrated with how the RT team has been treating them.

Arslan at least is complimentary towards Velvet for fixing the relay—“Truly, great work today”— and Velvet herself is appropriately shocked at Octavia’s behavior. That’s more emotional consistency than I’ve come to expect of this book, so I’ll take whatever little bits I can get.

Arslan signs off with plans to meet back up soon and Velvet thinks about how “everyone was safe after the mission, which was no small thing.” I’d agree… except for Velvet’s early thoughts about how easy this mission supposedly was and Octavia’s decision to put her teammates in danger. It sounds like if anything did go sideways, it’s in part because you chose to enter this overconfidently and then actively made it more dangerous.

Finally, the chapter ends with Velvet believing that she might be able to make her new team work with time. Our final line, in its own paragraph is: “If they had time.”

Am I the only one who finds this weird? The line reads like an omniscient bit of foreboding. Velvet thinks about how she just needs time and we, the reader, hear that this won’t be possible. Except this chapter is told from Velvet’s perspective. So why does she think they might not have time? Because of the Crown? I assume there will be an attack towards the end of the novel—can’t have a RWBY story without the final, epic battle—but right now Velvet has no reason to believe that an attack is imminent, or that the teams will change back, or anything else that would interfere with her hopes of strengthening this relationship… so why the rather confident sounding pessimism? I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know anymore lol.

At least this chapter was short? As said, silver linings. We’re still treading water though: Velvet’s bond with her new team seems to have regressed after two missions, rather than improved, and Gus didn’t reveal anything we didn’t already know, just further confirmed it. I assume that next chapter Velvet and the others will visit Mirage. Let’s hope something actually happens then.

See you! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #mymetas #Before the Dawn #BTD Recaps

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marvella15 · 4 years

Text

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 7: Shall We Dance

• Something I didn’t consciously realize about this film until reading Hannah Hyam’s book is that Astaire and Rogers don’t dance together until nearly an hour in. That hasn’t happened since Gay Divorcee. What was anyone thinking??

• Shall We Dance suffers from a lot of extra crap that it didn’t need, such as extraneous characters, far too many interruptions in the Astaire and Rogers relationship, and a bunch of weirdness like life-sized dolls, life-like masks, and backbending ballerinas. The film also has a lot of wasted potential, including a great score and songs by George and Ira Gershwin.

The Gershwins were already well acquainted with Astaire and Rogers. The duo had first met when she was starring in the brothers’ show, Girl Crazy, and Astaire was brought in to help with choreography. Rogers was close friends with George and even dated him. Astaire had known the brothers prior, having starred in a few of their shows with his sister, Adele.

• Our characters/actors: Peter “Petrov” Peters (Fred Astaire), Linda Keene (Ginger Rogers), Jeffrey Baird (Edward Everett Horton), Arthur Miller (Jerome Cowan)

• Around the time I was first really into classic Hollywood films, including these ones, my family and I adopted a new dog. I annoyed my parents to no end by suggesting we name him Peter P. Peters. Don’t know why I latched onto that name but I did.

• Even in the massive portrait of Petrov, you can see Astaire has his fingers curled in rather than fully extended.

• Astaire’s ballet attire lets us once again see just how skinny he is.

• Always loved how Peter does a little tap at the rhythmic sound of his name and birthplace: Pete Peters, Philadelphia PA.

• Rogers’ cardigan with all of its baubles is truly awful looking. It will only be out done by a terrible floral dress she wears later.

• I do however like that she shoves her handsy stage partner into a fountain. Why are men constantly the worst?

• “And why must there always be a kiss at the second-act curtain?” is YET ANOTHER example of these films trolling us. Not once up until this point has any act of an Astaire/Rogers outing included a kiss between them.

• Linda’s disinterest in even meeting Petrov is based on the assumption that he’s a “simpering toe dancer.” While that’s incorrect, she’s not wrong that he is indeed another man who has seen a picture of her and wants to tell her he can’t live without her. So she gets partial credit.

• If Peter wasn’t totally smitten before, Linda’s jab, “It’s just a game little American boys play” gets him.

• As a mixed race number, “Slap That Bass” is incredibly unusual for the era. Astaire was a great admirer of African-American dancers and was strongly influenced by Bill Robinson and John W. Bubbles. I love the blend of all of the voices in this song.

• The dance portion of “Slap That Bass” gives Astaire a chance to show off more of his innovative mind and choreography. He dances in time with the sounds of the ship’s engine and compels the camera to follow him across and up the vast set. The dance is also special in that we have behind the scenes footage of Astaire rehearsing, thanks to a home video shot by George Gershwin.

• Peter making Jeffrey believe the boat is rocking may seem a bit unbelievable but having been on a large ship myself, sometimes you don’t realize it’s rocking until you see other passengers weaving or a giant chandelier swaying.

• I usually skip most if not all of Jeffrey and Arthur’s scenes together. They slow down this film soooo much.

• Like in all of their films, songs are sometimes heard in the background before the actual musical number they appear in. But because this film is scored by the Gershwins, there’s an array of shorter pieces of music that are all their own, such as the whimsical score heard while Rogers and then Rogers with Astaire are walking her dog.

• The dog Peter borrows to give himself an excuse to talk to Linda hits his bark cue perfectly and looks extremely happy about it.

• I would love to know what exactly Astaire and Rogers are talking about while walking her dog. Maybe they were given lines that were then not recorded or maybe it’s improv. But it seems very natural.

Rogers did say that Astaire was a wonderful conversationalist and was adept at talking while dancing, something she noted most men couldn’t manage.

• Wow do I love it when Rogers gets to be extra sassy

Peter: “Isn’t it wonderful being here tonight like this? Still on the same boat together.”

Linda: “Oh, I seldom change boats in mid-ocean.”

• “Beginner’s Luck” is such a charming, fast song that Astaire delivers wonderfully. He hardly seems to take a breath.

A jazzed up version of “Beginner’s Luck” is the song Peter tried to dance to in Paris but the record kept getting stuck.

• Something this movie fails at is letting Linda and Peter’s relationship continue to progress before throwing more obstacles in their way. We know from the gossip of the ship’s staff that they have been spending a lot of time together. When we see them, they are having a relaxing evening that’s incredibly domestic: sitting side by side on the deck while she knits and he smokes. Wouldn’t it have been nice to see more of this part of their relationship?

• Why on earth did Peter think sending Jeffrey to fix the false baby rumors was the right decision? Jeffrey can’t handle a single thing.

• Infuriated at the rumors that she’s married to Peter and pregnant with their baby, Linda tries to call him. “Operator! Get me Mr. Petrov. What? Don’t you dare congratulate me!”

• The theme of this movie is supposed to be the blend of dancing and music styles. Peter’s ballet and Linda’s jazz styles are one example, George Gershwin’s varied score, which switches from jazz to waltz to foxtrot to classical, etc, is another. But it’s a fairly weak concept that doesn’t quite land and reportedly, neither Astaire or Ira Gershwin was wild about it.

• I love the new version of “Slap That Bass” that plays as Peter and Jeffrey enter the rooftop club.

• When Rogers sings “They All Laughed,” she is singing to an off-screen Cary Grant, her friend and sometimes date who was visiting the set at the time.

She is also wearing a dress with a horrible pattern. It’s supposed to be floral but it always makes me think of amoebas. Maybe it looked better in color?

• Astaire clearly has fun during the part where Peter hams it up a bit with his ballet next to Linda’s tapping.

• In some ways, “They All Laughed” is reminiscent of “Isn’t it a Lovely Day.” They’re testing each other, trading glancing as they see whether the other can keep up with the increasingly complex steps. Until now, Linda didn’t know Peter could dance this way so her surprise and amusement unfolds slowly as the routine progresses. But he has been grinning since the start because he’s hoping to win her back through this dance.

• This is another duet where it takes a long time before they touch. The first physical contact is just her executing a series of spins with the help of his fingers. And it’s during this part that Rogers finally breaks into a wide smile.

• When he spins her up onto the piano the first time, she happily waits for him to retrieve her. And when he spins her into a seated position and upright again a few times don’t miss how he looks at her with a wry, slightly mischievous smile.

• The Linda doll is so creepy and not lifelike. Who was fooled by this?

Also, Arthur is terrible. Jeffrey is terrible too but he’s an idiot so I’m more willing to let it slide.

• Peter walking out of Linda’s bedroom in the morning in his robe right in front of her fiancé while she is in her negligee is pretty funny.

• Peter and Linda’s nice day out is just further proof that this movie should’ve spent more time on the two of them together rather than breaking them up every few minutes.

• “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” is a fun song, though Astaire gets most of the good words imo. However, Rogers does do an extra affectation to some of her lyrics and that makes them funnier.

At one point when she’s singing, he turns to her and for just a moment his face goes soft in that way it does sometimes when he looks at her.

• Some film historians have labeled this dance as not that great when compared to other Astaire and Rogers numbers. But I’ve always found it very enjoyable and innovative. While Gene Kelly probably takes the gold medal for dancing on skates in It’s Always Fair Weather, Astaire and Rogers did it first, did it well, and deserve some extra credit for a duet on skates rather than a solo.

Rogers also deserves some extra credit since the idea to dance on skates was supposedly hers. And probably deserves even more credit for doing this dance on skates while also in heels.

• For some reason I really enjoy that they perform this number in their hats and street clothes. It’s so informal and feels like something you do on a fun date.

• Throughout this dance, Peter continues to be the playful one, as he’s been in their interactions in the film, and Linda is the more serious one who needs to be coaxed into having fun. Maybe this is why Astaire frequently glances at her and even spends long seconds watching her at different parts as they move into the next series of steps. Rogers is more reserved in her expressions but whenever they are face to face, she appears happiest.

A few times she looks triumphant, leading me to wonder if they or she had finally nailed a section that was giving them or her trouble.

• Can’t say for certain but I swear she almost falls when they do the backwards steps. She just baaaarely snags his hand in time.

They had to film this dance something like 150 times so I imagine there was more than one time where at least one of them did indeed fall.

• The circular dance they do leading up to the end is based on a dance Astaire and his sister made famous in their time on the stage.

• Apparently the grassy bank they tumble onto wasn’t padded so those fake grimaces of pain aren’t that fake. Their exchange after the tumble feels very much like married banter to me:

Peter: “Yes, it was my idea.”

Linda: “Have you any more of them?”

Peter, exaggerating: “No.”

• They’re such a good match:

Linda: “Peter, you’ve got to marry me.”

Peter: “Why, Linda, this is so sudden.”

• Oh 1930s Hays Code humor. The cop who overhears their conversation thinks she’s pregnant and pressuring the father of the baby into marrying her. Hurr hurr hurr.

• Heh:

Linda: “I beg your pardon but what are grounds for divorce in this state?”

Clerk: “Marriage.”

• It will never make sense to me that a dance was not planned in this film for “They Can’t Take That Away From Me.” It’s a truly lovely song. I know Astaire and Rogers will dance to it more than ten years later in The Barkleys of Broadway but it’s just not the same.

It’s also a good reminder in the film that Peter has legitimate feelings for Linda and she does for him but they’re far more conflicted. Though he must sense he’s hooked her in a bit since he becomes very aloof once they return to the hotel in the stupid hope of making her want him more? Idk, men are dumb.

• “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” carries special poignancy because it became a form of consolation to Ira Gershwin after his brother suddenly died two months after this film was released.

• Oh Linda’s face when she walks in to see Peter with the loathsome Lady Tarrington is so sad and crestfallen. Ever thought you and your crush were finally on the same page only to find them canoodling with someone else?

Although, she could’ve knocked first instead of just walking straight into his room…

• The ballet portion of the finale is weird and unappealing in every way. Harriet Hoctor was known for the backbend dance she does in this film. Maybe it was something spectacular in 1937?? but it doesn’t hold up.

One thing I’ll say about Astaire’s duet with Hoctor, it’s a great chance to see him in a romantic duet with someone other than Rogers and notice how different he acts. No secret smile, no lingering looks, no whispered words, no soft expressions.

• “Shall We Dance” is another upbeat song that deserves more than being featured in the remaining few minutes of the film. Their dance is far too short but wonderful all the same. Her delight when he finds her always makes me smile. She also executes some impressive full length lunges that I couldn’t do at this moment much less in a dress and heels in the middle of a dance number.

For a few seconds, his fingers press into the exposed dip of her spine in yet another example of Victorian hotness.

• And so we finish film number 7. Shall We Dance underperformed at the box office and wasn’t a critical darling. Everyone, the actors included, started to feel the magic was coming to an end. Coming up next is a film I pretty much never rewatch: Carefree.

#fred astaire #ginger rogers #shall we dance #classic hollywood #old hollywood #fred and ginger #astaire and rogers rewatch #all astaire/rogers gifs without credit are mine

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

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Song of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 15

Song of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because HELLO NEW SPOOKY FRIEND

Last times in book: Kylan, Naia, and Tavra have traveled to the Caves of Grot to find a magic firca that will help them warn all Gelfling about the Skeksis. A Grottan gives them a startle by lurking above a tunnel entrance.

Chapter 15

Kylan and Naia meet with Maudra Argot

"Shadowling,” Tavra growled.

“Silverling,” the strange Gelfling replied, with a casual but equal distaste.

Huh! Time for more Gelfling prejudice.

Its hinted at later this chapter why the Grottan might be annoyed at a Vapran but I have no idea why the Vapran would have strong feelings about the Grottan.

So let’s get a look at our new friend, Amri.

Pulling back his hood, his skin was pale like moonlight, with silky silver hair like Tavra’s, shaved on one side and falling to his shoulder on the other. Had Kylan seen him aboveground, he might have mistaken him for a Vapra - except for his eyes. With his face hidden by the shadow of his hood, Kylan had at first thought he had no eyes at all. Now he could see two, large and black, with no whites in them. It was like looking into one of the inky ponds that dappled the cave’s basin floor.

He had to be Gelfling, based on the shape of his face and body but he held himself differently. Like a river plant, Kylan thought, or maybe even an eel or fish, eerily graceful as he gazed down on them with an unreadable expression. His movements were as fluid as if he were underwater, slow and seamless.

Maybe that’s why the Vapran and Grottan don’t like each other.

They both want to be the pale, white-haired pretty Gelfling clan and are like ‘one of us is going to have to change.’

Speaking of change, I wonder what did between the books and the show.

In the show, the Grottan have a greenish tint to their skin, like the Drenchen. On the topic, Spriton have darker skin in the YA continuity compared to the show. Not a big deal, things got changed around between show and books but I’m wondering if this was a case where the books were working off an earlier version of the series bible.

Having the Grottan be super pale actually does make a lot of sense, since they live in caves. Cave-dwelling creatures tend to be pale because they don’t need as much protection from light.

Naia introduces the group, although omits Tavra’s title since there’s already animosity without it being known she’s the All-Maudra’s daughter.

Amri just stares at the introductions then tells the group to follow him.

Kylan looked up as they passed through the center of the cavern, losing count of the tunnel entrances and walkways. Now that the silence had been broken, eh saw silhouettes of other Grottan Gelfling stepping out of the shadows, gathering in groups of twos and threes on the ledges to watch them pass. They were all ghostly, clothing in black cloaks like their guide. Only their faces, hands, and bare feet showed, slipping in and out of the shadows like starlight.

Ah, so that’s where the whispers were coming from. The peanut gallery.

Naia asks if this is really the Caves of Grot, which Amri confirms but says that the Grottan call it Domrak which Kylan translates as “Place-in-Shadows.”

“A fair translation in the common tongue. Others have called it the Cave of Obscurity. Land-in-Darkness. Hole in Ground. Either way, grot means crypt. Though in truth, nothing has died here.”

I love that one of its names is just. Hole in Ground. Hee.

Kylan decides that Domrak means home, not just place.

Home-in-Shadows has a nice ring to it.

But if grot means crypt, then Caves of Crypt. Which sounds weird.

And could you translate, Grottan as cryptid? Heh.

Amri takes them up a long spiraling stairway and like other parts of the cave, it is just lousy with dream-etching. Kylan reads bits and pieces of stories as they climb.

They reach a triangular archway carved to look like a colony of hollerbats, which sounds amazing. Amri goes in to speak with Maudra Argot and when he pops back out he says that Kylan and Naia can come in but Tavra has to wait outside.

Tavra snorted through her nose, and Kylan wished she hadn’t. If they wanted to gain the trust and alliance of every clan, they would have to be respectful, even if they did not get the same respect in return. Shouldn’t a daughter of the All-Maudra know better diplomacy? Huffing, she turned away and crossed her arms.

“I have no interest in paying respects to a Shadowling bat, anyway,” she said, turning her nose up. “Be quick about it.”

“Don’t start any fights,” Kylan said. “Please.”

Hope springs eternal, Kylan.

The maudra chamber has exposed crystal veins lacing the walls, but with the crystal still showing as clear and pure. The Darkening hasn’t seemed to reach this deep. Possibly the tree protecting them, as in the show.

Seated on the stone floor, cross-legged, was an old Gelfling woman. Her wings were sheer, almost completely transparent, draped out behind her like a crystalline pool. Her eyes were black, like all the Grottan, but bore the mark of time. Her kind, wrinkled face might have seen more than one ninet - if the greater seasons even affected the Grottan clan, so deep in the earth.

Apparently, a ninet is roughly one hundred trine. Wow!

Kylan and Naia very politely introduce themselves.

“It must be important, indeed, for daylighters to bother making the journey into the so-feared Grot. Amri here tells me you have a Vapra with you as well. Has the great Mayrin finally invited us to the Silverling capital? Ho ho hoo! Don’t answer that. I know it is not true. So tell me, children, why do you stray from the daylight?”

She seems fun. I like her.

And reasonably enough, the Grottan dislike the Vapran because the Vapran tend to pretend they don’t exist. Rude.

Kylan tells Maudra Argot that they’re looking for the firca of Gyr the Song Teller and that he read in a book that it was entrusted to the Grottan.

“Oh yes! That. What do you want with Gyr’s bone firca?”

“You have it here?” Kylan cried, forgetting all formality. “It’s real?”

“Of course it’s real. How else did you think all that dream-etching got on the walls? All of us can read here, of course, but it would have taken a whole ninet to do just half the caves the regular way. We don’t have time for that. Yes, yes, the firca is real. It is in the Tomb. Ho ho! But I’m not going to just hand it over to you younglings without an explanation first. Why do you need it? What will you do with it? And so on.”

Score one for a random story you read in a random book!

Of course, they now have the problem of explaining why they need it. If Argot is loyal to the Skeksis, they could be in big trouble. Heck, if she’s like Maudra Fara and just afraid to act, she might refuse to help.

The best way would be for Naia to dreamfast with Maudra Argot to show what she had seen. A conclusion that Naia also immediately comes to.

“Then dreamfast with me. I will show you what I’ve seen. You can decide whether it’s an explanation or not.”

“So you think I’ll trust your memories, no matter what they are?” Maudra Argot asked, tilting her head in the other direction. When she got a confused, uncomfortable silence in reply, she cackled again. “Ho! Don’t answer that, either. I am not afraid of your dreams, little Drenchen. Show me, and we will see where they lead us.”

Hey remember when I said it’d be boring to watch Kylan watch someone else dreamfast and that’s why he had to do it with Rian instead of Naia?

Well, I was wrong. Watching someone else dreamfast takes like a couple seconds.

The maudra let out a long grave hmmmmm.

“You have the gift of dreamfast, that is for certain,” she said. “Never have I seen dreams so vividly... It was almost as if I had my eyes back! Ho ho hoo! What a delight you are, my Drenchen daughter.”

Naia repeats some of the information aloud for Amri’s benefit and says they need the firca to warn all Gelfling.

“The Stonewood will be first, until the forest is empty of their tales and noisy dances. Then the Spriton to the south. Perhaps they will go west next, to the Crystal Sea - perhaps north, to take the capital itself. It is only a matter of time before they come for us, I suppose, even if we are the discarded relish on the banquet tray. Ho ho hoo!”

She described an ugly future, but her chuckle was so light, it was almost the giggle of a youngling.

“Nothing but a garnish on top of a Vapra delicacy!” Amri added. The comment sent the old maudra into a new fit, her little body shaking with laughter.

What a fun, weird old lady.

Kylan and Naia are uncomfortable with how funny she finds the extinction of the Gelfling clans and just sit quietly. Kylan reflects that maybe the situation is so horrible, that there’s nothing to do but laugh but can’t bring himself to join.

“Ho ho ho hooo! Oh, don’t sound so quiet. We’re not making light of the situation. This old maudra has heard many trine come and go. Just when I think I’ve heard it all, the Skeksis surprise me with something new and cruel. I can’t help but think Thra is telling a wicked song-for-laughs... Or maybe it is me who is old and mad and laughing when there are no jokes being told.”

Think about being so old that you think you know everything the world can throw at you and then hearing the most horrible thing you never knew.

I guess maybe all you can do is laugh.

Although, she’s a pretty laughy individual anyway.

Unsure of how to react to any of that, Naia just does Drenchen hard-talk and directly asks for the firca. And adds that its important that the Gelfling come together to resist the Skeksis because they won’t be able to do anything if they’re at odds.

“We Grottan have remained out of the affairs of the daylighters; ours was a different burden to bear, here in Domrak. But you are right. The Skeksis will never want the essence of an old maudra like me, but my children... even the lazy ones like Amri. We are all Gelfling. I’ll give you the firca. I’ll even give you Amri. He will show you to the Tomb of Relics and then go with you to Ha’rar on behalf of our oft-forgotten clan.”

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!

New party member!

Amri is less thrilled than I am, protesting that he doesn’t want to hang out with snooty snoots in Ha’rar but Argot tells him to suck it up. She already knows that he sneaks out of the caves to gather alchemy ingredients and she’s tired of his disruptive experiments.

“Take your maudra’s offer, and come back when you are grown.”

Sweet dunk on Amri.

Then she picks up her weaving which is a polite indication that the conversation is over so Naia and Kylan leave, followed by Amri. Although they hear Argot talking to herself as they leave.

“Damned Skeksis. Your time has come, at long last. Ho ho hoo...”

This was a very productive meeting!

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #Song of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Kylan #Naia #Tavra #Amri #Maudra Argot

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sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart · 4 years

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The best and worst films of 2020

Let’s be honest - 2020 was an extremely shitty year for moviegoers everywhere, as the Queen would say an annus horribilis.

Due to the Covid pandemic’s dramatic impact on nearly every facet of human life, cinemas closed, film festivals went virtual and film productions became an intricate mess of insurance and safety challenges.

Yet despite these dire challenges and an unpredictable future, cinema remained very much alive throughout the year, with a wide range of ambitious undertakings snaking their way into whatever form of release seemed viable. Blockbusters receded to the background, allowing a wide range of movies to trickle through an uncertain marketplace that would have been hostile to them even in pre-pandemic times.

So what cinematic gems and unmitigated disasters were dropped upon audiences during the year?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

THE CURRENT WAR - THE LIGHTHOUSE - IN FABRIC - BEING FRANK: THE CHRIS SIEVEY STORY (D) - BOMBSHELL - THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON - THE SOCIAL DILEMMA (D) - LIGHT OF MY LIFE - THE ASSISTANT - THE LODGE - THE GENTLEMEN - THE WAY BACK - DARK WATERS - 1917 - THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY - THE HUNT

2020′S TOP TEN BEST FILMS

10. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW

Hot off the critical success of his debut feature ‘Thunder Road,’ writer-director Jim Cummings’ refreshing yet effective take on the werewolf genre amped up the dark comedy whilst delivering quite a few chills. Tinged with realistically flawed characters and clever scares, ‘The Wolf of Snow Hollow’ might not have been your typical werewolf flick but it successfully managed to bring that classic legend to life once again.

9. LET HIM GO

Previously last seen together as Clark Kent’s adoptive parents in ‘Man of Steel,’ Diane Lane and Kevin Costner were reunited onscreen as husband and wife again in writer-director Thomas Bezucha’s neo-Western drama ‘Let Him Go.’ Adapted from author Larry Watson’s 2013 novel, the film featured stunning landscapes, full-blooded moments of sudden violence and compelling performances from Diane Lane, Kevin Costner and, most memorably, Lesley Manville’s turn as a gritty and cunning matriarch.

8. COLOUR OUT OF SPACE

Based on the classic short story by HP Lovecraft and featuring another scene-stealing performance from Nicolas Cage, this clever adaptation was an effective horror film with an unrelentingly grim sci-fi bent. In addition to the truly disturbing and inspired images of queasy body horror, ‘Colour Out of Space’ also marked the eagerly-anticipated re-emergence of filmmaker Richard Stanley (his first time back in the director’s chair since being fired from his 1996 remake ‘The Island of Dr Moreau’).

7. THE INVISIBLE MAN

Who knew a remake could be so refreshing? With this updated take on the H.G. Wells tale, writer-director Leigh Whannell did just about everything right, delivering a tense, clever thriller with touches of both horror and sci-fi. As the fascinatingly flawed yet appealing tough protagonist, Elisabeth Moss gave a captivating performance in a film that was chilling in all the right ways, packed with plenty of twists and a deliciously nasty resolution.

6. THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (NETFLIX)

Whilst the subject matter of ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7′ shared an uncanny relevance to today’s politically charged times, as a gripping courtroom drama with a stellar cast, the film ticked all the boxes. ‘West Wing’ creator Aaron Sorkin put his trademark traits - razor-sharp wit, rhetorical flair and political insight - to very good use in this masterful retelling of the trial following the 1968 anti-war protests outside the Democratic National Convention.

5. HEARTS AND BONES

In his debut feature film, Australian director Ben Lawrence created a spiritually rich and immersive drama about the relationship between a grizzled, broken war photographer and a Sudanese refugee. Whilst Hugo Weaving was note-perfect in his portrayal as a crumbling man wrestling with his past, equally impressive was first time actor Andrew Luri who delivered a quiet yet memorable performance in what was an affecting piece of cinema.

4. TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL (DOCUMENTARY)

Watching a documentary about the COVID-19 crisis in the middle of a global pandemic might not sound appealing but prolific filmmaker Alex Gibney’s latest work was easily the most essential non-fiction film of 2020. Shot safely in secret for five months, ‘Totally Under Control’ played out like a tightly-wound thriller as it placed the Trump Administration’s inept response to the coronavirus pandemic under the microscope.

3. BAD EDUCATION (HBO)

As far as crime stories go, embezzlement isn’t always the most thrilling subject. However, ‘Bad Education’ turned a relatively simple white collar crime story about a New Jersey school administrator caught stealing money into a compelling drama, thanks to an incisive and nimble script and spot on performances from Allison Janney, Geraldine Viswanathan, Ray Romano and especially Hugh Jackman.

2. MANK (NETFLIX)

Director David Finch’s dazzling portrait of Herman J. ‘Mank’ Mankiewicz, the screenwriter who collaborated with wunderkind filmmaker Orson Welles to write the first draft of ‘Citizen Kane,’ was a cinematic jewel from start to finish. Similar to last year’s ‘Once Upon A Time in...Hollywood,’ ‘Mank’ delivered a layered depiction of the filmmaking process, whilst Gary Oldman continued to excel at immersing himself in playing real-life characters, this time as the hard-drinking, intellectual screenwriter.

1. NOMADLAND

Writer-director Chloe Zhao’s intimate drama about an unemployed widow living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad was a thoughtful, contemplative and reflective piece of storytelling. It may have touched upon mature themes about loneliness, financial instability and restlessness, but ‘Nomadland’ remained an uplifting and hopeful piece of cinema that captured the various bittersweet reasons people choose to live a life on the road.

With an outstanding performance from Frances McDormand, brought to life through the charm of the ‘real life’ supporting cast, great direction and Joshua James Richard’s mesmerising cinematography, ‘Nomadland’ was the perfect film for 2020.

...AND NOW THE WORST!

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS

VAMPIRES VS THE BRONX - BAD BOYS FOR LIFE - THE OLD GUARD - PROJECT POWER - ISN’T IT ROMANTIC - THE RHYTHM SECTION - WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE - I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS - MIDWAY - YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT - BABY DONE - FORCE OF NATURE - CAPONE - THE NEW MUTANTS - DOOLITTLE

10. WONDER WOMAN 1984

To quote Red Letter Media’s resident film critic Mike Stoklasa, “this movie was the cinematic equivalent of the Bluesmobile.” Directed by Patty Jenkins, this 80′s-set sequel to the 2017 DC superhero hit was lethargically paced and featured a completely bonkers narrative that made absolutely no sense. Horribly scripted, disjointed and overstuffed (a runtime of 2.5 hours), ‘Wonder Woman 1984′ sadly jettisoned everything that made Jenkins’ original film so compelling. The result? An appalling misfire.

9. THE GRUDGE

A curiously talented and interesting cast were somehow lured into - and subsequently wasted in - this pointless, tired, reboot/revival of the long-running ‘Ju-On’ Japanese-based horror series. Despite director NIcholas Pesce’s attempt to disguise the rudimentary nature of the plot via back-and-forth timeline jumping, ‘The Grudge’ was just a formulaic paint-by-the-numbers meander through a poorly developed story that existed only to prop up a bunch of uninspired jump scares.

8. BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN)

There are many movies that have no reason to exist - and this latest misfire from DC Comics was one of them. Directed by Cathy Yan, ‘Birds of Prey’ was a mire of uninspired ideas and recycled genre conventions that got old real quick. Penned by Christina Hodson (’Bumblebee’ being the ‘highlight’ on her resume), the script was as simplistic as it was thin, with needless subplots merely introduced to inflate the film to a decent running time. Even Margot Robbie’s manic performance as the ‘Mistress of Mayhem’ couldn’t save this mess.

7. JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

What could’ve been a dream film for fans of these two classic stoner characters instead was nothing but a string of cameos and callbacks in a plot-less bore. Director Kevin Smith sucked all the life and fun out of this watered-down story, that suffered from a constant series of awkward and forced jokes that were painfully unfunny. An unfortunate stinker.

6. AVA

This latest foray into the ‘female assassin for hire’ genre was about as cliched as you could get. An emotionally troubled female killer whose male mentor assumes the role of the surrogate father? Check. Pounding dance music score? Check. Obligatory nightclub fight sequence? Check. Confused love interest? You betcha! Humourless, dry and uninspired, ‘Ava’ played out like a poor man’s ‘La Femme Nikita.’

5. FANTASY ISLAND

Hollywood’s obsession with repackaging Gen-X childhoods continued with this absurd attempt to reboot the classic 1970′s TV series as a low-budget horror joint under the Blumhouse label. At a dangerously close two hour runtime, there was simply nothing interesting about the film’s characters or its inane plot about a mystical island that grants wishes (a’la ‘The Monkey’s Paw’). Our advice? Turn ‘de plane’ around if you ever plan to visit this ‘Fantasy Island.’

4. ARTEMIS FOWL

For every ‘Harry Potter’ that explodes into the public consciousness, there always seems to be a dozen or more failed franchises. Sadly, Disney’s ‘Artemis Fowl’ found itself in the latter category. Director Kenneth Branagh’s dull and superficial attempt to transfer this popular children’s book series from page to screen suffered from a lack of character development, an over-reliance in CG effects and featured a lifeless performance from newcomer Ferdia Shaw as the titular character.

3. HUBIE HALLOWEEN (NETFLIX)

A month before last year’s Oscar nominations were released, Adam Sandler joked on ‘The Howard Stern Show’ that if the Academy snubbed him for his role in the film ‘Uncut Gems,’ he would make a movie “that [was] so bad on purpose.” And that’s exactly what happened. Supposedly a comedy, ‘Hubie Halloween’ was unfunny, disposable and completely devoid of any originality. Sadly for audiences, Sandler signed a four-movie deal with Netflix last year, worth up to $275 million - so we can expect to see more of this shit soon!

2. ALIEN ADDICTION

Aliens visit New Zealand and get high smoking human faeces? Someone should have advised Kiwi director Shae Sterling that audiences have moved on from such puerile comedies as this abomination. Suffice to say, if anybody ever admitted to finding this film remotely funny, they’d probably be outcast from society. An embarrassment to all those involved.

1. THE BEACH BUM

Director Harmony Korine’s generic stoner comedy about a prolific poet who drifts through life in a drug-induced haze had all the natural high of an unfiltered, soggy joint and was easily, hands down, 2020′s worst film.

‘The Beach Bum’ was a pretentious and uninteresting movie whose lead character, considered to be an ‘artistic genius,’ was nothing more than a relentless shithead to everyone around him. As Moondog, the semi-naked, bongo-playing, pot-fuelled beat poet, Matthew McConaughey was insufferable and grating in his portrayal of a character you would quite easily want to punch in the face - repeatedly. Blazed and confused, ‘The Beach Bum’ had no plot, no class and no entertainment value whatsoever.

MOVIE POSTERS

From the classic to the abstract, here is just a sample of some of the best poster designs from a highly unusual year of movies.

...AND FINALLY, WHEN WHEN IT COMES TO DIRE-LOG, THEY SAID WHAT!?

“I've never wanted anything more. But he's gone, and that's the truth. And everything has a price. One I'm not willing to pay. Not any more. This world was a beautiful place, just as it was, and you cannot have it all. You can only have the truth. And the truth is enough. The truth is beautiful” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

And who could forget this little chestnut of advice...

“That is the only truth and truth is all there is. You cannot be the winner because you are not ready to win. And there is no shame in that. Only in knowing the truth in your heart and not accepting it. No true hero is born from lies” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

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galahadwilder · 5 years

Note

$21 to buggachat! If you felt like adding something to Sin Ship or continuing Sweethearts a little bit (maybe Adrien and Marinette get back to find out their ice cream has melted to Andre gives all three of them a shared cone to make up for it?), that would delight me to no end.

Hesitate

A sequel to Sweethearts, and part 2 of “Kagami Has Two Hands.” Like that fic, this one was written to help raise money for @buggachat’s laptop repairs.

Sponsored by @art-deco-shrimp (the ask above is from their main account).

She’s only been dating Adrien for two weeks now, and already she’s gained a newfound respect for Alya for not going berserk and throwing him and Marinette into a closet together and slamming their faces together until they admit their feelings. Two weeks of this bullshit is driving her insane. She keeps dropping hints, bringing up the confusion of the ice cream flavors, sending him articles about polyamory, commenting on Marinette’s beauty, and he simply agrees that Marinette is indeed gorgeous, that poly relationships are cool, that the ice cream is a mystery—and then refuses to think any further. Marinette, meanwhile, continues to stubbornly insist that her feelings for Couffaine are romantic when even Kagami, who is notoriously bad at reading social signals, can tell that Mari is just relieved at finally having someone who lets her relax.

She swears, if she hears Adrien call Marinette “just a friend” one more time, she’s going to leap on a butterfly and light the school on fire.

They’re having another double date—neither Adrien nor Marinette seems to have figured out why she keeps insisting on those, though to his credit Luka seems to be growing suspicious, based on the looks he keeps giving her—and Marinette and Adrien are absolutely crushing the high score at the arcade’s Dance Dance Revolution machine. Their synchronization is, quite frankly, insane: they’re matching perfectly step for step, every footfall landing at just the right moment, to the point where they’ve begun to gather a crowd. As Marinette gains confidence, they’re even starting to show off a little, swapping pads back and forth mid-song without missing a single beat. Kagami is mesmerized.

Marinette as she laughs and Adrien lifts her, swinging her onto his pad. It’s a stunning display of trust and athleticism, and Kagami’s heart starts beating faster at the sight—and then, next to her, Luka reminds her that he’s there as he sighs in lovesick delight. “She’s incredible,” he murmurs, staring at Marinette.

Instantly, Kagami’s shoulders shoot up to her ears and her spine practically folds in on itself as she reaches for a sword she’s not even wearing. She grinds her teeth. “Yes,” she says, letting her hand drop to her side and forcibly relaxing her muscles. “She is.”

The worst part of this is that, much as she wants to, she can’t hate Luka Couffaine. He’s a good person, and he seems to genuinely have feelings for Marinette. More than that, he’s genuinely good for her. But Kagami has seen the way Mari looks at Adrien, and the way Mari looks at her, and… well, Marinette doesn’t feel the way about Luka that he does about her.

If circumstances were different, Couffaine would be exactly the kind of person Marinette needs as a friend, especially given how rough her life has been for the last few weeks. But they’re not. And right now Luka Couffaine is an obstacle.

The game finishes, and Marinette cheers with delight at the perfect score. Adrien, Kagami, and Luka are all staring at her.

Kagami is the only one who notices how the other two look at Marinette.

Kagami doesn’t usually spend lunch in the cafeteria—her mother sends a car for her every day, but she’s managed to convince her that she’s working on a group project (another of Marinette’s generic “sneak away” suggestions). Waiting in line is a bit uncomfortable, and the only thing on the menu that doesn’t fill her with revulsion at the thought of a horrible texture in her mouth is the soup, but it’s worth it when it takes her only a few moments to find her target.

“Césaire!” she hisses, sliding in next to her and carefully lowering her soup to the table. “I need to speak with you.” She glances around, lowering her voice. “Privately.”

Alya looks up from her sandwich, and Kagami doesn’t miss the momentary distaste that flits across her face. “Tsurugi,” she says, her voice carefully controlled as she waves away a curious Nino. “What do you want?”

Kagami swallows. “Marinette tells me you have been… assisting her with her love life.”

“I was,” Alya snarls, keeping her eyes locked on Kagami as she places her sandwich back on her tray. “Why? Do you have a problem with that?”

Kagami shakes her head. This is going downhill rapidly—there’s a reason she rarely interacts with Césaire. “Actually,” she says, trying to keep her voice from trembling, “I could use your help.”

Alya blinks. “Help? With what?” she says. “You already have Adrien, what do you want my help for?”

“Adrien…” Kagami swallows. She looks down at her bowl, stirring her soup uncomfortably. This is proving to be much more difficult than she expected—she’s having trouble finding the right words. “He is in love with Marinette.”

Alya glares at her, then rolls her eyes. “Tough shit,” she says. “You knew that going in.” She turns back to the table, producing her phone and beginning to scroll through a website Kagami doesn’t quite recognize. “You made this bed,” she says. “Not my fault you’re not ready to lie in—”

“You do not understand!” Kagami snaps, sloshing soup out of the bowl and onto the table. She berates herself for a moment for letting her temper get the best of her again, focusing on her breathing to calm down. She’s never quite understood Alya’s dislike of her, but given how she’s reacting now… well, it’s starting to make a certain amount of sense. “I am not… jealous,” she grinds out. “I want to help.”

Alya raises an eyebrow without looking up from her phone. “What, you’re gonna make him forget all about her?” she says. “I’m not helping you plan that.”

Kagami clenches a fist, breathes in, unclenches. Then she twists her head, glancing around the cafeteria, making sure nobody is looking before leaning in. “I have feelings for her as well,” she whispers.

Alya’s head snaps up. “What,” she hisses, her eyelid twitching.

Kagami immediately finds herself doing something she has rarely done, even in the face of Akuma—she starts retreating. She folds into herself, ashamed of her own weakness but unable to stop herself from withering under Alya’s glare.

Alya reaches forward, snatches Kagami’s tie. “If you’re planning on cheating on him—”

Kagami gasps. “Absolutely not!” she hisses, slapping Alya’s hand away.

Alya narrows her eyes. “Explain,” she says.

Kagami compulsively smooths out her tie. “Adrien and Marinette are in love with each other,” she says. “And I am… interested… in both of them.”

Alya blinks, and then the corner of her mouth twitches upwards. “You’re angling for an as well as,” she says, her voice suddenly much lighter and more playful, “not an instead of.”

Kagami blinks. “I’m not sure I understand,” she says. That sounds right, but… maybe not? She can’t be sure.

Alya rolls her eyes, but this time it’s fond instead of cruel. “You want to date both of them,” she says, “and for both of them to date each other.”

“Yes!” Kagami cries. Alya finally gets it!

Then her entire body locks up as she realizes that her voice has carried across the entire cafeteria, and now everyone is looking at her.

“Hey,” Alya says, her voice soft. “Look at me. Don’t look at them. Look at me.”

Kagami does, sees the kindness in Césaire’s eyes, and feels her heartbeat begin to slow.

Alya smiles. “Mari does the same thing,” she says, standing up and snatching her sandwich from her tray. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere more private.”

“Ughhh,” Alya groans after Kagami finishes explaining, slamming her face into her desk. “They’re getting worse.”

Kagami’s lips twist into a wry grin as she slurps the last of her soup straight out of the bowl. “I am glad you appreciate my predicament,” she says, carefully placing the bowl on top of the pile of paper towels Alya provided so as not to muck up Mari’s desk.

“Right, okay,” Alya says, placing her glasses back on her face. “So you need them to realize they like each other, and that you want them to… what, share you?”

Kagami nods, sweeping some droplets from the desk. “Approximately,” she says.

Alya nods. “Okay,” she says. “I’m going to give you the same advice you gave Marinette at the ice rink. Don’t hesitate.”

Kagami looks at her with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t understand,” she says. “I’m… not?”

Alya tosses her hair. “You kind of are,” she says. “It’s the same problem Marinette has—she’s scared, so she goes indirect and it gets misinterpreted.” She rubs her chin, bracing her elbow against the desk. “When you started dating Adrien, did you wait for him to make the first move?”

“Of course not,” Kagami says, then—“Oh. Oh I see.” Trying to get the two of them to figure it out on their own…

Alya grabs her shoulder. “You have to be direct with those two,” she says, smiling. “Otherwise they’ll never get it.”

Kagami smiles back, and this one feels a little more comfortable than her previous attempts. “I doubt they would understand it if I dragged Adrien to Marinette’s house while naked and covered in cheese,” she says.

Alya snorts, covering her mouth. “Marinette was right!” she says. “You are funny.”

“Adrien,” Kagami says as fencing practice begins winding down. “Can I speak to you once we’re finished with the showers?”

“Yeah?” he says, casually ripping his helmet from his head, releasing the tumbling golden curls. “Everything okay?”

Kagami bites her lip, which she’s glad is hidden behind the mask. “Yes,” she croaks. “Fine.” Marinette is one hundred percent correct—the boy is unfairly attractive, and she swears on Longg the kindness in his eyes makes her weak.

He turns, walking towards the shower, and she feels her knees wobble a bit at the sight of his shoulder blades. Jean snickers, jabbing her with his elbow, and she responds by punching him in the shoulder.

“What’s up?” Adrien says, pulling on his shirt.

Kagami braces her elbows between her knees, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. Be direct. Don’t hesitate. “You’re in love with Marinette.”

Adrien freezes, one empty sleeve still hanging off his shoulder. “Gami?” he says, weakly.

She doesn’t really have a plan for how this conversation is going to go, so she’s not quite sure what to do next. She’s made the first move. Let him take the next.

“I—I don’t know why everyone… keeps saying that,” he says, pulling his arm through his remaining sleeve. “I’m—Marinette and I aren’t… anything.”

Kagami leans back on the bench, crossing her legs at the knee. “You know that’s not true.”

“Gami, please,” he says. He drops to his knees in front of her, taking her hands in between his own. “I don’t know what Alya told you, but… I’m with you. And you’re the one I want to be with.” He purses his lips. “I don’t—”

She presses his cheeks between her hands. “Adri-kun,” she whispers. “I love her too.”

Adrien’s eyelids quiver. “What?”

Kagami presses her forehead to his. “Even before we moved away from Osaka,” she says, “I never really expected to have friends. Okaasan never let me do anything with people my age. And then I met you… and her.”

“I don’t… understand,” Adrien whispers. He’s tearing up. Trying not to cry. “Are you… breaking up with me?”

Kagami can’t help it: she laughs. “Of course not!” she says. She loosens her grip on his face, cupping his cheek, and he leans into her touch with a soft mewl. “I wouldn’t give you up for anything, Adrien.”

He melts at her words, his face collapsing into her lap with a wordless whine of relief. She smiles, stroking his hair.

“I love both of you, Adrien,” she murmurs. “And you love both of us. So can we not… share?”

Adrien stiffens. “I—what?” he says, then her words seem to process in his brain and he gasps. “The ice cream!” he says. “You—you knew.”

Kagami nods. “Monsieur Glacier can see triads,” she says, “but only if he knows to look for them. That’s why he was so confused the first time you took me to him. That why I asked.”

“Marinette’s cone was both of us…” Adrien mumbles. He blinks. “Blue eyes. You said… ‘neither of us has blue eyes’.”

Kagami nods, resumes stroking his hair. “And Marinette does.”

Adrien crawls up onto the bench next to her. “But the strawberry chocolate chip,” he says. “That’s…”

“You called her ‘Everyday Ladybug,’ did you not?” Kagami says.

He looks at her in confusion, and she turns back to the lockers. “She told me,” she admits. “I… wasn’t happy about that, at first.”

Adrien groans. “Oh, my god,” he says. “I am in love with her.”

Finally! Kagami wants to leap up, to dance, to cheer, but that’s not how a Tsurugi acts. Instead she schools her reaction down to a smile and her quivering palms.

But then his face falls. “Let’s say I do want a…” He trails off. “It doesn’t matter,” he mumbles, looking at the floor. “She doesn’t like me like that.”

Kagami freezes. “Who told you that?”

He chuckles mirthlessly. “She did.”

And suddenly a whole bunch of things fall into place, like an icepick through the front of her brain. Why Adrien seems to have been so oblivious to Marinette’s feelings. Why he thinks she’s been rejecting him all this time. Why, despite all Marinette’s signals, he’s never made a move.

“Adrien,” she says, laughing. “She—she was…” She can’t get a breath out, can’t stop laughing, can’t stop crying over how ridiculous this all is, how in love with these two dorks she is, how perfect they are for each other and how stupidly painful they’ve made everything and how, if they hadn’t, she’d have never had a chance. “She was lying!”

Adrien states at her, his face knit with confusion.

“Why do you think I disliked her so much at first?” Kagami chuckles. “She was competition.” She reaches out, flicks his nose. “She said you gave her an umbrella, and that was it for her heart.”

Adrien splutters. “But she—I don’t…” He throws his head into his hands and moans. “Why didn’t she say anything?”

“She is frightened,” Kagami says, rubbing his back. “Which means it’s up to us to make the next move.” She smiles, and she can tell her practice is paying off—it feels more natural than she can ever remember. “If this is what you want.”

Adrien swallows, nods. “I—I think I do,” he croaks, beaming back at her.

“The next move” ends up being taking Marinette back to Sweethearts Ice Cream. This time, with Luka.

“Luka,” Marinette says, clutching at her wrist as they walk. “Have I been… using the wrong pronouns for you?”

Adrien, whose arm is resting on Kagami’s opposite shoulder, glances sidelong at her. She simply nods in response. Be patient.

Luka chuckles. “No?” he says with wry confusion. “I’m very definitely cis. He/him is fine.”

“Oh.” Marinette’s voice falls. “It’s just… last time I was here…”

As she and Luka continue their conversation, Adrien buries his nose in Kagami’s hair. “You’re incredible, you know that?” he murmurs, just low enough that Marinette and Luka can’t hear them.

Her whole body warms, and when she tries to suppress her giggle, it comes out as a squeak instead. She’s starting to understand why Marinette is such a mess around Adrien sometimes. All her composure is evaporating, and to be honest, she’s more excited about that than scared. It’s freeing.

“Mari?” Adrien calls. “Are you sure he’s around here today?”

“Um,” Marinette responds. “Adrien… you’re looking right at him.”

Kagami raises an eyebrow. “I told you,” she says, squeezing her boyfriend’s side. “You need glasses.”

They approach André Glacier’s ice cream cart, and Kagami feels her feet and fingers begin to buzz. If she’s right about this… this is the moment. There’s no going back.

“Hello again!” André says. “Back for more Sweethearts?”

“Marinette was right,” Kagami says. “It is the best in Paris.”

André beams, quickly setting about serving Kagami and Adrien the same cone as last time. Kagami shoots Adrien a knowing look, and Adrien rolls his eyes.

André smiles, then turns to Luka. “For you…” he says, tilting his head. He glances at Marinette, then back to Luka. His mouth twists downward. “Oh.”

Luka raises an eyebrow, glancing at Kagami with suspicion. Marinette only looks confused.

“Not everyone likes every flavor,” André says, sorrow in his eyes. “And some mixes don’t find favor.” He sighs. “I can offer you a couple’s cone, but I fear you’ll wish I left alone.”

Marinette and Luka look at each other, and Luka swallows. “Goddammit,” he whispers.

“Luka?” Marinette says. “It’s—it’s just ice cream, it doesn’t… necessarily mean anything…” She trails off, looking at Adrien. “Right?”

Adrien’s mouth moves like a fish, and Kagami does not envy him. She’s watching Luka, watching grief play out across his face.

He steps forward. “Two cones, then,” he says, resolute.

André nods, reaching into his cart. “The Lady first,” he says, all the music gone from his voice. “Peach for the lips, mint for the eyes, and blackberry hair.”

Luka takes the cone, looks at Adrien and Kagami, and gently presses it into Marinette’s hand. “For you, my melody,” he whispers.

Kagami feels her chest twist at the endearment. Maybe if things were different…

“Birthday cake, fudge, and Dutch chocolate,” André says as he hands over Luka’s cone. “I’m sorry. I know you were hoping.”

Luka swallows. “I know,” he says, taking the cone. “I know.”

Adrien turns away, burying his face in Kagami’s hair. He’s shaking. She can’t blame him.

She’s only a little surprised when Luka texts her later that evening. She gave him her number when they first started double-dating; this is the first time she’s heard his text tone.

She glances at her door, then silences her phone, even cutting the vibration so her mother can’t hear her getting “distracted” from her work.

Luka: u knew

Kagami: I suspected

Kagami: for what it’s worth, I am sorry

Luka: wondered y u hated me

Luka: I’ve seen the way u 2 look @ her

Luka: and her @ u

Luka: take care of her?

Kagami: of course

Kagami: though I do not understand half of what you just said

Luka: I GREW UP ON FLIP PHONES

Kagami: ah. “Txting speek?”

Luka: …

Luka: never talk like th@ again pls

Kagami: it did seem ridiculous when I typed it, yes

Kagami: when are you going to do it?

Luka: already did. Dragging it out wldnt b fair 2 her

Luka: she’s gonna need u tmrw

Kagami: I’ll be there. And so will he

Luka: thx

Kagami locks her phone and gives herself a moment to feel guilty. If she hadn’t taken them to André’s, this would never have happened.

Or maybe it just would’ve happened later, after they were too involved to not be hurt by it. Maybe she saved their friendship.

She still feels guilty.

When she sees Marinette the next morning, the guilt gets worse. She looks despondent, listless, and though Juleka seems to be doting on her, trying to cheer her up after the breakup with her brother, most of Marinette’s energy—both her joy and her nerves—has bled out of her.

Kagami’s heart corkscrews into her stomach. She can feel the acid eating at it.

She gets updates from Adrien and Alya between classes throughout the morning. She won’t tell anyone what happened, but the whole class seems to be rallying behind her, trying to cheer her up, and things are getting… well, a little better. She’s still heartbroken, it seems, but at least she’s laughing again.

When class lets out for lunch, Kagami charges to Mme. Bustier’s class, heedless of the people in the hallways between her and her target. She bursts through the door, ignoring the confused stares of the rest of the class as she snags Marinette’s wrist. “Come on,” she says. “Okaasan thinks we have a group project.”

Marinette blinks. “What?” she says.

Kagami smiles, a fully-natural one now. “We,” she says, glancing at her boyfriend, “are taking you to lunch.”

Lunch is… quiet. And awkward. Kagami and Adrien sit across from a despondent Marinette in the quiet cafe, watching her pick apart her salad and meet nobody’s eyes. Kagami feels awful.

Adrien glances at her, nervously licks his lips, and she knows he’s not going to do anything. He’s going to wait for Marinette to talk. And she isn’t going to.

Don’t hesitate.

Kagami clears her throat. “Luka texted me last night,” she says.

Marinette chokes, her fork slipping out of her hand and clattering onto the table.

“Marinette?” Adrien says, his gaze soft. Kagami can see him straining not to reach out to her—how did this boy ever think he wasn’t in love?

Marinette’s eyes close, and she sniffles, wiping her nose. “I ruined it,” she whispers. “I ruined everything.”

Adrien reaches out to take her hand. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault—”

“You don’t understand!” she cries. “He—I… I tried. I tried so hard.” She slumps into the wooden back of her chair. “I wanted to be in love with him… I really did.”

Kagami swallows. “What happened?”

Marinette sobs. “He… he asked if he…” she begins. She glances up at Adrien, then her eyes flick away just as quickly. “If… he was the one… I really wanted to be with.”

Kagami’s hand clenches around her croissant, digging trenches into the flaky crust.

“I tried to say yes,” Marinette whispers. “But I just…” She sobs again, burying her face in her hands. “I ruin—I ruined everything.” Her shoulders are shaking. “How stupid am I?”

Kagami is frozen. She wants to help, but deep down she knows that no matter what she does, what she says, it’s only going to make things worse. She has no idea what to do.

Luckily, Adrien does. “The heart wants what it wants,” he says, reaching out to squeeze Marinette’s shoulder. “You’re not stupid for feeling.”

Marinette shakes her head with a whimper. “I’m stuck on someone who doesn’t even want me,” she whispers. “Why—why can’t I let him go?”

Adrien glances at Kagami. She nods.

Adrien turns back to Marinette. “Marinette,” he says, his voice soft. “What makes you think I don’t want you?”

Marinette freezes.

A chill rockets across Kagami’s skin as all her hair stands on end at once. She can see the warring emotions in Marinette’s mind—guilt and shame and hope and elation—and for the moment, nobody moves.

Then Marinette lifts her head. “How—” she squeaks. “How did you know it was you?”

Adrien smiles. “Gami told me,” he says. He glances at Kagami, licks his lips. “I wish you’d told me earlier.”

Marinette frowns. “It… doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” she says, looking at Kagami. “You—you’re together now, and…”

“And your ice cream flavors mentioned two people,” Kagami says, laying her hand on top of Marinette’s. “Blackberry, mint, and peach.”

Marinette’s eyes go wide.

“I have black hair.” Kagami says, then nods at Adrien. “He has green eyes.” She breathes in, interlacing her fingers with Marinette’s. “And we both have two hands.”

Marinette’s mouth drops open. “Are you…” she whispers, her eyes flicking between them both. “I don’t—I don’t understand.”

“Kagami and I are both in love with you,” Adrien says, taking her other hand. “We were hoping… that you’d be okay with sharing.”

Marinette’s mouth opens, closes, opens again. She turns to Kagami. “I—You said…” she says, her eyes narrowing. “You told me you’d be okay with losing my friendship… if it meant you could be with him.”

Kagami blinks as the bullet of Marinette’s words strikes her right in the gut. “I—I only said that to Ladybug.” She swallows. “And I said it as Ryuuko.”

The table is utterly silent for a half-second, the only sound the chatter of the cafe around them. They’re in a bubble of time when everything around them has sped up, and they are frozen as the world zips by unimpeded.

Then Adrien drops his fork. “Oh my gods,” he gasps. “My Lady?”

Marinette’s head snaps around to him. “Chaton?” she hisses.

For the second time in less than a minute, Kagami’s brain catches fire. Adrien kept speaking about a girl he liked who didn’t like him—it wasn’t Marinette who was turning him down (except it was, sort of). The two of them disappearing every time an Akuma arrived. Ladybug’s choice to call on Ryuuko whenever Marinette was with Kagami.

Oh, sweet gods, she’s fallen in love with Ladybug and Chat Noir.

“Mari-chan,” Kagami says, squeezing her hand. “The first thing I said was that I couldn’t bear to hurt you.” She looks at Adrien. “And… I said I wouldn’t give him up for the sake of our friendship.” She rubs her thumb on Marinette’s palm. “You never asked me to.”

Marinette—Ladybug—looks at her with watering eyes. “I don’t—” she begins, choking on her words. “I don’t know what to do.”

Kagami swallows. They’ve gone so far off anything she’d planned for, anything she’d prepared for, and she doesn’t know either. But she knows where to start.

“Marinette,” she says. “Don’t hesitate.”

Marinette blinks, then grabs Kagami’s lapels and yanks them both toward each other over the table, their lips mashing together with a burning heat that flashes across Kagami’s skin, followed by the feeling of every hair on her skin standing straight up, every nerve in her body sparking like she’s turned into a lightning bolt. (She has to check to make sure she’s not wearing her Miraculous—she swears she’s discorporating.)

Marinette breaks the kiss first, gasping. Kagami drops back into her chair, all her muscles loose—she’s kissed Adrien before, but she has never, in her life, been kissed the way Marinette just kissed her. She wants—she needs more.

Marinette turns to Adrien. “I’ve been in love with you since the day you gave me your umbrella,” she says.

He reaches out, takes her hand, presses her knuckles to his lips. “I’ve been in love with you since you first stood up to Hawkmoth.”

Marinette’s face glows pink. “You never really hid that,” she giggles.

Adrien nods, his own face growing steadily redder. “I—this is a lot,” he says. “I think I’m going to explode.”

“Me too,” Marinette whispers.

Kagami would concur, but she’s still speechless from the whirlwind that was Marinette’s kiss.

She looks at Kagami. “So… are we…?”

Kagami swallows, shakes herself loose. “We are... whatever you want us to be,” she says, taking Adrien’s hand. Smiling is coming easy now. “What do you want, Marinette?”

“I want you,” she says. “I want both of you.”

“You have two hands,” Adrien says, holding up his free palm. “Why not use them?”

Marinette grins. “Why not?” she says, taking both of their hands. “Mon Chaton. Ma Dragonne.”

“My Lady,” Adrien responds, melting.

Kagami’s pulse is squeezing her ears, but she has enough brainpower left to whisper one more word. “Mushi-Chan.”

506 notes · View notes

kevkesblog · 4 years

Text

Translation: kicker magazine profile about Julian Brandt (July 27, 2020)

By Thomas Hennecke and Matthias Dersch

Had he made this artistic pass during the corona pandemic with empty stands in the stadium, it would have been a pity. A week before Christmas however, there is almost no free space in the Signal Iduna Park left. Everybody is ripped off their seats – except the RB Leipzig fans – the moment Julian Brandt marks the second goal. Brandt digs deep into his toolbox. Receiving the pass by Sancho, processing the ball, shot. Three actions in one fluent move, south American suppleness with ice-cold efficiency, a master class. Goal of the month December.

This cool blonde with the jersey number 19 – he is a man for the special moments. A player who makes a difference. And a gambler. A footballer having fun and who lets the difficult things look easy and made his relaxed demeanor a trademark. You can guess why he named Diego (the Bremer, not Maradona”, like Brandt said in BVB-TV) is his idol. The Brazilian used to have the blessings to do great things on the pitch. Diego also had a dream goal in his repertoire: 62,5 meter distance on April 20, 2007 against Alemannia Aachen. End score: 3:1.

The fact Brandt coolness also comes from a sometimes fatal way of risking things, relativizes his actions. You are torn a bit. People who appreciate show, spontaneity, art and creativity will love him more than people adding statistics and all mistakes and how they translate onto the pitch. The ‘Süddeutsche Zeitung’ looks beyond that and celebrated Brandt as a “Player with the Wow-Effect”. Brandt plays passes, so precise they will find almost every gap. As if they were managed by an electronic brain. He celebrates chop passes which look good and find their goals. But he also screws up counter chances with sloppy passes. He gives goals to his opponents with carless back passes. Or he shoots x-times against the goal, without a slightest danger to the goal keepers.

2019 is the second year with coach Lucien Favre and the so-called “restart”. BVB manager Zorc took a lot of money into his hands, in order to optimize the team. Looking back he wouldn’t be as passionate about some transfers as he was back then – but the 25 million euros for Brandt are still a good and useful investment, Zorc thinks: “Julian is a talented football player and has a lot of potential. He is very active on the pitch, demanding the ball, plays in a self-confidend way and doesn’t hide.”

Then follows the “but”. Zorc follows everything very closely from his box seat on the team bench. He sees mistakes by Brandt, unnecessary mistakes – calles “unforced errors” in tennis. “He still does a lot of them”, Zorc complains. “He has still work to do when it comes to working against the ball, Julian knows that best himself.” Indeed one doesn’t have to look far to find weaknesses. He himself is his biggest critic, the professional once claimed. Yet, he never lets that sort of self-reflection get out of his hands: “I always question myself, whenever I’m not performing well. But I never question the fact that I still can do it.”

It’s easy to spot: this Brandt-guy is not Mr. Perfect nor a football-playing robot. Rather he is an un-adjusted fine spirit on the pitch. Always in a good mood, with a fresh quote on his lips. During the USA-journey to Seattle last year, he was walking interested through the Museum of Pop Culture where Borussia was celebrating its “Black and Yellow night”. He had some small talk with journalists, he seems relaxed, approachable and cool. The opposite of the footballer clicheé of being arrogant. Brandt is “a fantastic guy” says Captian Marco Reus, “he’s a funny and open guy”.

As engaging, positive and uncomplicated his persona comes across: sometimes however Brandt appears to be less serious about stuff. It’s seems as if an extra scoop of ambition is missing, based on his body language. Unlike many other professionals. “I heard from many people before, about me looking like I’m sort of listlessness I embody”, Brandt said during an interview with the former BVB-player Patrick Owomoyela. Yet he assures: “My inner drive is always there.”

Brandt shows both faces during the game against Leipzig. Magical and faulty. He serves Timo Werner the 2:2-goal on a silver platter with his horrible wrong pass. “Perhaps someday there will be the award: wrong pass of the month”, says the 24 year-old. “I’m sure, I’ll get into the top 5.” BVB-boss Hans Joachim Watzke is face-palming on the stands in that moment. With some distance he likes Brandt’s way of playing. The BVB-boss says: “Julian makes extraordinary mistakes, because you can only play extraordinary if you take risky passes or have risky ideas.”

Five months later, both major teams in Germany play against each other on the evening of May 26. Borussia against Bayern; light house 2 against light house 1. Dortmund has to win, otherwise the Bundesliga title will be gone and Dortmund starts in a rush. Erling Haaland gets the ball in the midfield after 17 seconds, by winning a head ball against Joshua Kimmich. From the back Brandt storms in front like a speed train, captures the situation, speeds up the game and passes over to Thorgan Hazard with his left foot. The clock ticks – 19 seconds into the game – Manuel Neuer gets out of his goal and saves the situation for Bayern at the last moment. But he passes the ball into Haalands feet. His shot rushes through Neuers feet until Jerome Boating saves it for Bayern on the goal line. Brandt goal celebration dies on his lips. The blitz goal after just one minute – it would have been his act as well.

Same game, 43rd minute. Mats Hummels defending for Dortmund, the ball moves a few meters to the left. Kimmich gets the ball, looks up, sees Roman Bürki standing a bit too far away from the goal, shoots and scores. The guy standing the closest to Kimmich: Brandt. It would have been unfair to make him responsible for the goal alone, half of the team is responsible as well. Yet some people who’s heart is beating for black and yellow would have preferred Brandt at least trying to hinder Kimmich on making his genius shot. He does: nothing.

He's a day dreamer, Brandt once said. Day dreamers keep strolling through their thoughts. A study found out: day dreamers are capable finding time to dream because their brains have enough space left. In the past day dreaming was understood as a sign of lack of concentration and attention – today people see it as a sign of intelligence and creativity. Like a lost professor: brilliant, sharp mind, yet sunk into his own world.

It is however no explanation for him being passive in front of the goal in May that basically pre-decided the German championship. Brandt made his day dreamer confession in a different context – when asked about a career plan. He doesn’t have one, he said: “Everything that happens in my life, happens spontaneously. I don’t even know what I will be doing in three weeks from now.” Brandt lives his live as free and individual as possible and as disciplined as necessary. He likes to sleep long in the morning and only leave “shortly” in order to just barley making it on time at the training ground. “Every minute is sacred” he says with a wink of an eye. “I don’t know how often I had to pay a penalty for being too late.”

A year Brandt is employed in Dortmund. The statistics are showing respectable numbers. 42 games, seven goals, 13 assists, ten second-pass assists. The season prior in Leverkusen he had seven goals and 15 assists – just in the Bundesliga. He added six scorer points in the DFB Cup then and the Europa League. “I had to find my place during the first months. I played on many positions and didn’t know many of the boys yet. It’s why it was a bit un-harmonic”, says Brandt. “Nevertheless, now I’m “in”. I had a nice year with great moments. I have to say: I’m really satisfied. Everything can get much better. However its was fine for the first year.”

Brandt wanders through the BVB team, gets put into five different roles. The center midfield is the place where he can show his class the best – whenever he has the game in front of him. He can put his instincts and creativity into force and can create chances with his passes. He is basically a lost force when playing way in front. Except against Slavia Prag in the Champions League he confirmed with two assists, Favre decision putting him into the front as a striker. His abilities are also limited once he plays on the wings.

He never has a lack of commitment and engagement. Brandt is running on average 11,85 kilometers in 90 minutes. Nobody of the permanent Dortmund players is running more. He wins 52,4 % of his one-on-ones – more than Sancho (45,6%), Marco Reus (44,6%), Hazard (42,0%) or Haaland (41,4%). His passing with a 84 percent accuracy however still has room for improvement compared to the other specialists like Axel Witsel (94,1%), Dan-Axel Zagadou (91,1%) or Raphael Guerreiro (89,2%).

Brandt is brilliant in games like against Gladbach (DFB Cup, kicker-grade: 1,5), against Fortuna Düsseldorf or Schalke in the Bundesliga (both 1,5). He has personal low points in Freiburg (sub in and out of the same game; grade: 5), in Munich (grade: 6) and against Milan in the Champions League, where he basically loses the ball in almost every scene. Every game becomes a personal balancing act for the highly skilled national player: he dances on a high wire – here and there he loses his grip and crashes down.

His time in Dortmund started with a glitch. He makes a mistake and drives onto the parking lot of the youth time at 7.45am in the morning. A BVB employee has to show him the way. Brandt decided to leave the comfort zone Leverkusen on purpose. “Dortmund” – he says, “Dortmund is much bigger in terms of media interest, the stadium, the number of fans and in terms of pressure. It’s a different game here. It could make a mark on me and will serve me good.” And then there is the wish to win a title which made him to transfer to Dortmund. It’s about a basic attitude in sports, Brandt said a year ago, “everybody should have the drive to win every game.”

Because Dortmund only won 28 of their 46 games this past season (seven draws, eleven defeats) a lively debate about coach Favré heats up as well as a discussion about the mentality of the team. No fans will get together in Dortmund and celebrate the fifth second place finish of the team since 2013. Nobody will fill extra pages in historic club chronicles, some BVB players are now suspecting. “We are not satisfied to finish second”, Brandt confesses. “We aren’t angry, but also not satisfied. We want more.” He then sticks up for his colleagues who get criticized for some bad performances and whenever there are doubts about their mentality and the harsh criticism: “We want to the big price. The team is hungry, they are in for it to win titles. The team is capable of that. You have to always aim high.”

Children who are having their first day of school this year, have lived a life only knowing Bayern Munich as German football champions. In order for them to understand that other teams can be successful as well, Dortmund needs to win the “all-or-nothing”-games, Brandt thinks. The duels with the other Bundesliga havy weights: Bayern Munich, Leipzig, Mönchengladbach, Leverkusen. “You have to win those games, if you want to stay on top”, he says. “Yet you also have to take smaller teams seriously. Something like a 3-3 draw against Paderborn is fatal.”

Borussia Dortmund gave the players four weeks vacation. This Thursday the team will come back together well rested. The months during the corona crisis, the tough hygiene rules of the German Bundesliga, left a mark on Brandt. “It does something to you”, he confesses, “you don’t see many people. You see your family, perhaps a few friends. Otherwise: nobody. You are happy to be able to go out and have some freedoms again.” Now he can go out again – at least a bit.

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