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a-strange-inkling · 2 years

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Hellcheer Being Human AU

A vampire, a ghost, and a werewolf all rent a house together. Sorry, no. There’s no punchline.

@klauscarolove @lunasink 🖤🖤🖤

(Another WIP because I’m sick and can’t get the idea out of my head lol NOTE: this is on the way way back of back burners, but the idea is just too perfect to ignore)

Snippet:

It’s quiet when Eddie walks through the front door, the only sound is the television softly blaring in the living room. “Hey, I’m back!” he calls, shrugging off his worn denim jacket, hanging it on the coat jack. He waits expectantly for the quick, quiet footsteps to come rushing down the hall, but he’s met only with silence. “Hello?” He shouts, brows furrowing at the lack of response.

He kicks off his boots, leaving them haphazard in the doorway behind him almost petulantly.

That’s always a sure way to summon a restless spirit.

But still, nothing.

Feeling somewhat dejected, he wanders to the living room where he finds Steve laying flat on his stomach, staring at the TV, several empty beer cans floating around him, his current one hanging precariously from his grip over the side of the couch.

“Hey.” Eddie barks again in annoyance.

Steve blinks a few times as if waking from a trance, glancing up at him over his shoulder. “Oh hey, man.” he greets casually, voice somewhat slurred, before letting his head fall back to the pillow, his gaze returning to the stimulating beaches of Baywatch. “How was your hunt?”

“Fine, thanks.” Eddie mutters. Cold, lonely and unsatisfying. He peers around, moving to the kitchen, then back. Searching. The house is pristine except for Steve’s little corner of self pity. “How was it here?”

“Uneventful.” Steve replies with a shrug, bringing the aluminum can to his lips, taking a long slow sip.

Eddie’s gaze finally settles back on Steve’s slumped form, trying hard not to be too agitated. “I take it Nancy didn’t call.”

Steve pouts, winking one eye as he looks down the hole into the contents of his drink.

“Nope.” his lips pop. “I guess our relationship is still on bullshit status, as far as she’s concerned.”

“You try calling her?” Eddie suggests, not really sure if he has it in him to hear another chapter of the ongoing Nancy saga.

Steve chuckles sadly. “Yeah, um, that’s a great idea… but she hasn’t been home the last few days, so...”

“What do you mean ‘hasn’t been home’?”

“I mean she went on a last minute investigation out of town with Jonathan.”

Eddie winces. Okay, fair enough, he’s not just being dramatic, things do sound somewhat terminal. Wheeler needed to make up her goddamn mind so the rest of them could all get on with their lives. Jesus. “Sorry, man.” he offers lamely.

Steve shrugs again, numb and content in his wallowing. “Yeah, it’s whatever.”

Eddie gives the house another once over. “...Where’s Chrissy?”

Steve scoffs with a sideways smile. “Why? Was she not there to greet you at the door?”

Eddie shoots him a warning look, eyes flashing red. He’ll chalk that low blow up to the alcohol and lady troubles.

“I don’t know, she’s been upstairs since I got home.” He finally relents, a little guilt laced in his voice, but he drowns it down with another swig.

“Jesus, Harrington,” Eddie rolls his eyes, anger flaring up in his stomach. He’s gone four fucking days.

“Hey, when I asked she said she wanted to be alone, then fazed out!” Steve snaps at his retreating back. “What am I supposed to do? Have a seance?”

“Thought you were supposed to be good with women.” Eddie grumbles, honoring his promise to not throw any more paperweights at his roommate’s head as he makes his way up the stairs.

He tries the doors first, finding hers locked. He gives it a jiggle before knocking. “Hey, Chris, it’s Eddie, I’m home… You in there?”

Nothing.

He knocks again, worry gnawing at his core. “Chrissy, please, I just want to make sure you’re okay… then, look, I’ll walk away, leave you alone, promise.”

Silence stretches long and he considers picking the lock, kicking the door down. But he doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t want to force his way in. “This really isn’t fair, you know? Not all of us can walk through walls.”

Fist unfurling, he slides his hand down the old, treated surface. She’s in there, he can feel her faint essence pulsing, she still hasn’t mastered masking it completely.

He leans his forehead heavily against door. She’s never done this. She’s never shut him out. “C’mon Chrissy, let me in.” he whispers, closing his eyes tight, just short of begging. “…I really… I really missed you.”

Almost a full, agonizing minute passes before he finally hears the soft click of the lock release. With a deep inhale, he turns the knob and steps inside.

The room appears empty, until she flickers into the material plane. She’s in her favorite chair by the window, all curled up in a tiny ball in the evening sunlight, face buried in her folded arms.

He lets out the breath he was holding as he moves, falling to his knees beside her. “Oh, sweetheart,”

Soft, delicate, sobs rack her entire body, and it’s enough to break his cold, dead heart. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he whispers anxiously.

She shifts away from him, head tucked into her elbow, her cardigan stained with wet and dry tears. He moves a hand to her back tentatively, tracing small circles. “Chrissy, talk to me.” Leaning forward, he ducks a little, trying to find her gaze. “What happened?”

“…Jason came by today.” she finally murmurs, still hiding from him. “He came to fix the shower head while Steve was at work.”

He feels something cold in his chest, his hand slowly stilling on her back.

“That… That usually makes you happy.” he says, jealousy prickling under his skin as he thinks about her jubilant skipping and excitement whenever their douchebag of a landlord stops by.

Carver can never see her, but she always lingers around, smiling sweetly, her eyes shining with past memories of their undoubtedly perfect life together.

“H-he brought a girl with him.” She adds, voice barely audible.

“…Oh.” He replies quietly as it all starts making sense.

“I mean,” she hiccups, raising her head just enough to rub away at her tears. “I knew he was seeing someone… at least I thought he was, and I should have expected it to happen eventually, but to actually see her in our house…” she breaks down again, fresh hot tears spilling over the cold.

“Hey, hey,” he soothes, his hand moving again, now sliding up and down her spine. “It’s okay.”

“He looked so happy with her, Eddie.” she sobs. “She’s so much prettier than me.”

“Bullshit.” he snaps quietly, face twisting up in disbelief. “Cunningham, you’re the prettiest girl to ever walk the earth.”

She scoffs loudly through her tears, shaking her head ruefully at him.

“What, don’t believe me?” he asks. “I’ve been around for more than a century and I’ve never seen anything or anyone as beautiful as you.”

She releases a shaky whimper, tucking a little more into herself.

“Come on, Chrissy.” He pleads, hand falling against her knee. “Look at me, please?”

With a deep breath, she wipes her eyes with her sleeve before finally facing him with a pitiful little sniff.

Eddie stares up at her in reverence. She truly is an apparition, her cheeks flushed rosy pink, the setting sun catching fire in her strawberry blonde waves, her skin glowing softly in the golden light.

He wasn’t lying, she really is the most beautiful creature he has ever seen in his dark and lonely life.

And monster that he is, he can’t help but dare to touch her, taint her, caressing her face with his rough, bloodstained hands. She doesn’t shrink away, she never does.

“I’m so stupid.” She whispers, leaning into his calloused palm.

“No, you’re not.” He counters softly, mouth still parted in awe, brushing away her tears. “…that couldn’t have been easy to see, I’m sorry you were here alone when it happened.”

“I feel so awful.” She tells him. “I do want him to be happy. I really do.”

“Of course you do, sweetheart.” He assures her. “Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

He knows that better than anyone.

Her dark blue eyes wash over him, and yet again, he’s drowning, helpless.

Falling forward, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and he catches her, pulling her in, pressing her body flush against his, hand falling to the small of her back.

She makes a little sound and oh God, this is what he wanted. This is what he was looking for, waiting for. He buries his face into her neck, breathing her in deeply, unable to stop himself.

“I missed you too.” she whispers into his hair. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too, Cunningham,” he tells her. “Me too.”

#hellcheer #eddie x chrissy #eddissy #munningham #chrissy x eddie #hellcheer wip #hellcheer fanfiction #hellcheer fanfic

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stars-over-new-jersey · 11 months

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Baywatch S3E01: "River of No Return" ...or In Which Mitch Gets Called Out for Abusing His Authority

#baywatch #david hasselhoff #mitch buchannon

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free-for-all-fics · 1 year

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Namor and Attuma at the beach/swimming pool AU prompts. Some of these are really stupid and silly but I regret nothing. Pls tag me if you get inspired by or write any of these, I’d love to read it. 💜

1. Thinking about that cliche “Woman lets man put sunscreen on her body for her and it’s supposed to be sexy” thing except it’s Namor or Attuma rubbing his hands all over reader’s skin while he’s applying the sun screen and they’re just spending time on the beach together. Of course reader would return the favor if Namor/Attuma asked.

2. Namor/Attuma treating reader’s sunburn/sun damaged skin because she burns easily/forgot to put sunscreen on/accidentally fell asleep outside.

3. Baywatch AU where Namor/Attuma is a sexy lifeguard and every time you look at him, the world slows down. He’s so sexy, it’s like he runs in slow motion any time he comes to the rescue of a beach goer. You debate pretending to drown just to get his attention. Yeah this is dumb and no I’ve never seen a single episode of Baywatch.

4. Thinking about Namor or Attuma being a dad and doing dad things, like teaching their kid how to ride a bike. Except the bike is a dolphin 🐬. And then teaching their kid how to drive a car when they’re a teen/adult. Except the car is a whale 🐋.

5. Every day you practice holding your breath, for just a little longer than usual every time. After being "saved" by a lifeguard you learnt that humans aren't meant to hold their breath for nearly an hour.

6. One day while swimming at the beach you drown and die. Then you wake up on land, resuscitated by a lifeguard. But now that you are back, you have a strange urge to breathe in water. Unable to hold the urge back, you try it and something happens.

7. You work as a lifeguard at the Dead Sea and wonder why your job even exists. Just as you're about to fall asleep, people start drowning, as if being pulled under by an unseen force.

8. You’re taking a bath when suddenly Namor bursts into your bathroom claiming to be a lifeguard here to protect you from the "sharks". At first you resist, “It’s two feet deep, man!” but you soon see something lurking in the bathwater. (Yeah this is an AU based on that lifeguard “I’m not at the beach this is a bathtub” porn meme. Maybe the “shark” is Attuma. Attuma and Namor as pornstars AU. Just embrace the sexy stupidity of it.🛟)

9. You're swimming off the coast of Wakanda when suddenly all the waves in the water stop. You hear whistles blow and people scream as a lifeguard yells, "Get out of the water! The serpent god is approaching!"

10. You accidentally summon an old god while playing with pool noodles.

11. After a short career as a model, you're tired of not being taken seriously. One day you quit to start a new life with your dream job- picking up trash and cleaning up the beach. You didn’t expect to encounter Namor/Attuma while on the job. He’s come to thank you for saving the hatching sea turtles, among other things.

12. You've never been invited to a beach party before and as soon as you touch the water, everyone else can see your imaginary friend, Namor/Attuma, rising from the shadows of the waves. At least, you thought he was imaginary. He’s upset you stopped coming to visit and that you haven’t called him on the conch shell.

13. You prefer to swim laps alone in the middle of the night as it helps you think and have found a way into the local pool after hours. You pause in the shadows of the shallow end and hear a splash at the other end. Three armed men in suits are watching someone struggle at the bottom of the pool.

14. Possible Fae AU: You come to and find yourself not alone in a clearing in the woods. You’re mesmerized by the blue skinned people as they sing and dance around the pool of water in the night, with their jet black hair, and beautiful dark brown eyes, laughing and playing happily as can be. Their king uses his winged ankles to fly towards you. His loving smile is entrancing as he motions for you to come over.

15. Cocoon AU: Residents of a retirement home discover their swimming pool is filled with vital energy from Talokan, giving their elderly bodies the same ability and vigor as when they were teenagers.

16. You're an immortal who lives at a beach resort. You have many summer flings with mortals on getaways. One day you see someone you had a hot romantic night with 50 years ago. He looks exactly the same.

17. On break from college, you take a summer job at the beach. Making friends is not your thing but there's one guy who's different than most. He's bookish and not at all cool. The social scene at college can be so destructive and he's not trying to one-up you. By the end you are so much more. (Maybe AU where Namor assumes a “Clark Kent” secret human identity. Maybe he goes by Tenoch in this AU idk.)

18. AU where Namor is believed to be a cryptid/myth: When you chatted with that Tenoch guy on tinder, you thought the K’kul’kan cosplay with the elf ears and ankle wing shoes in his profile pic was nerdy and a bit funny. Then you meet him on the beach, and realize it wasn't a cosplay, as the actual feathered serpent god himself stands before you, a dozen water flowers in his hands and a picnic dinner laid out.

19. Post-battle AU: Namor with a broken ankle meets reader, a beached mermaid with a wounded tail. Restricted from their usual activities, they find solace in each other's company as they tend to each other’s wounds.

20. Some beaches have groups of Sea Lions, but our little town has Talokanil hanging out on the piers, especially when the sun is out. Bit of a local nuisance, but they bring us fish and other good things to eat during winter or in times of hardship, in exchange for keeping their existence secret. We benefit from mutual protection, so we’re all good. Just don't get too close. They will try to drown anyone who makes them feel threatened.

21. You are taking a family vacation on the beach, when you see the lady next to you fill a water bottle up with seawater and later notice her drinking from it.

22. As you're walking down a secluded part of a beach, you spot something large and blue wrapped in fishing wire, peaking through a pile of rocks. Thinking it a washed up dolphin, you approach the rocks and see that it's a Talokanil and he’s/she’s scared.

23. As a child your parents often took you to the beach, until one day they suddenly stopped. When you asked about it, your parents said the sea had become dangerous for you. Years later, you head to the beach yourself. When your feet touch the water, your legs start to tingle.

24. The Bachelor sort of AU: The 5 remaining girls head to the beach house at Innsmouth. They've all got brains. They've all got beauty. Four of them will be given the great honor of keeping the sun alive and shining bright in its constant war against darkness. With their sacrifices in body and blood to the revered feathered serpent god, K'uk'ulkan, they will keep the sun moving across the sky and preserve the very lives of the Talokanil. Only one will become his chosen mate. Whomever he chooses will be given godly gifts, such as immortality and the ability to bend water to her will. She will take her place upon the throne as his eternal wife. But who among these women has that special something worthy of representing the nation of Talokan as Queen? Four will give their still-beating hearts to him. K'uk'ulkan will only give his heart to one.

25. You're resting on a sandy beach with a bucket of iced beers, when Namor/Attuma emerges from the waves. He sits down next to you, grabs a beer, cracks it open, and takes a swig. He sighs and says, "You would not believe the day I've had."

26. This year the beach was cold, wet, and miserable. The girl not too much older than you in the house next door was nice though. So when you saw her out on the beach in the middle of the night in a rainstorm wearing only a nightdress, you had to investigate.

27. Reader and Attuma, childhood friends, are sitting on the beach together. One of them is about to confess, when suddenly the ocean rumbles. Namor emerges from the waves, looks at you both and says "Aha, so THIS is where you've been!" Ugh, he’s so embarrassing! Can’t believe your father followed you here and ruined the moment. Namora swore she wouldn’t tell! Can’t a princess get some privacy around here?

28. After being teased by your high school swim team about your fear of open bodies of water, you attempt to prove them wrong by trying to swim in the nearby beach. You start to drown but are luckily saved by a cute man. "Hey, are you alright? I thought the other humans were going to help you out?"

29. "Never swim too deep into those waters," my father used to say, "never be the furthest from the shore." I never understood why until today.

30. You breach the surface and swim over to the diving boat. As you climb into the boat you notice the instructor and captain slumped over each other in a sort of lifeless embrace. You take off your mask and instantly realize you can't breathe the air of the surface world anymore.

31. You and a friend go on a camping trip to a hidden lake. Your friend goes swimming, and when they dive down, they never surface again. Instead, a strange woman you've never seen before crawls ashore. Upon seeing you, she declares: "The feathered serpent god accepted the exchange! I'm finally free!"

32. While swimming away from your friends on a camping trip, you find Namor stranded high on the sand. He’s too hot/dried out to move, and asks for your help to get back into the water.

33. Mafia/mob AU: An agent is sent to the beach to find you, the much younger wife of a mafia boss. You’re in a purple bikini on a towel some meters away, in the arms of Namor, your secret lover. You catch the agent looking at you from a distance and don’t seem to care about his presence as Namor rubs sunscreen over your skin and makes love to you in the sand. Too far away to tell who you’re with, the agent tries to shoot Namor, but the god deflects the bullet with his arm without breaking eye contact with you.

Namor kisses you before flying over and punching the agent so hard that he flies a few feet into the air and skids through the sand. Namor drags the agent back and forces him to watch your lovemaking. (Maybe he’s brutal and drives his spear through the agent’s hand to pin it to the ground. Idk. Just a “Tell your boss this is how you please a woman” power move/show of dominance type thing). The agent finally looks away in embarrassment. When he looks back again, you and Namor are both gone and all that’s left are two sets of footprints leading from your abandoned towel to the ocean.

34. Sort of Old God/Ancient Mythology AU: Reader goes to a nude beach for the first time by herself, where she meets and makes conversation with other friendly beach goers. Everything seems normal until the sun reaches its highest point in the sky, and tens (or hundreds) of blue skinned people wearing strange oxygen masks rise from the ocean. Reader thinks some sort of attack is about to take place, but is instead shocked when everyone pairs off. A sort of ritualistic orgy seems to be going on, as she watches the beach goers engage in intimate activity with the strangers from the sea. Turns out the “is your beach body ready?” advertisement she saw refers to whether you’re ready to partake in a group mating ritual that’s said to bring humans prosperity, protection, and lifespan extension. In exchange, the Talokanil hope to create a new hybrid species so that their kind may one day be able to walk freely among the land without turning blue or without the use of masks. They want to reclaim the surface world that was stolen from them.

Suddenly everyone pauses and goes silent as they make a path for a man with pointed ears and winged ankles. They kneel in respect as he makes his way towards you. You can tell by his layers of jewelry and air of authority surrounding him that this is their king, their god. He first holds your face with both hands, caressing your cheeks and hair. His hands slowly go down as he feels and squeezes your breasts and hips, as if inspecting them. Finally he rests his palm on your stomach and wraps his other hand around your neck to press his forehead to yours. He speaks in a language you don’t understand, but nevertheless it dawns on you what he wants you for.

#namor x reader #attuma x reader #namor imagine #attuma imagine #random fic ideas #fic ideas #pls tag me if you write this #some of these i got from reddit so i can’t take all the credit #don’t examine these too closely #some of these are just silly little brain nuggets #stupid silly fun

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rphelperblog · 2 years

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Kai Parker Quote Rp Meme

inspired by @ofeternals - feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes- some pyschological humor, occasional bloody references, and mostly chaotic meme entry for one of TVD’s greatest villains

“The useless one is here. Thank god.”

“last time I saw you, i was trying to kill you. Why don’t we pick up where we left off?’

“Crocodile Dundee called. He wants his knife back.”

"At least my coffee will never get cold in hell."

Huh, That's Ironic."

Did it sound like she missed me?’

“well, at least, I felt that.”

“It sucks about that shirt though.”

“ You are crazypants.”

“Hi sleepyhead, remember me?”

“Crushed it. Literal mic drop.”

it’s because I want to kill you.”

“It feels like I’m being dragged back to hell by my colon.”

“I think I’m on the wait list for heaven, but they’re not returning my calls.”

“Translation: She’s about to croak.”

“Like water just oozing out of my eyeballs like I’m some alien creature excreting fluids.”

“I think I’m on the wait list for heaven, but they’re not returning my calls.”

“Are you guys talking about her? Because honestly, I didn’t think she was all that great.”

“In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a sociopath. I know. Shocker.”

“Sorry, manners, nice to meet you. Pork rind?”

“You can always fight dirty. Like that time you and her played Monopoly and you stole from the bank. Not cool.”

“I’m just saying. Digging up mommy’s grave? That’s dark, even for me.”

"Murder is like potato chips: you can't just stop with one."

"Why are jeans so Ttght when phones are so big?"

"You two are the closest thing I have to a TV. I mean, you're no Baywatch, but..."

“Hello, Clarice.”

Whoops.”

“you clearly don’’t”

“selfie city.”

“It sure is nice to be around family for the holidays?”

“Hi, sleepyhead. Remember me.”

“I’m not really sure, because the third time I tried the spell, he kind of exploded in blood. Whoops.”

“Of course, my favourite memory is when I finally beat him to death.”

“By the way, how much does that suck about Patrick Swayze?”

"And All I Did Was Make Him Vomit Uncontrollably, Which Was Like, Ugh, All Right, Let's Stop That."

"Yay You Saw The Post-It! [Fake Robotic Voice] This Message Will Self Destruct In Ten Seconds."

"It's just not as threatening when I'm seeing four super blurry versions of you."

You are everything I didn't know I was looking for. “

"Who names a kid Malachai? It's like they expected me to be evil."

“Ah. Memories. Pitter-patter of little siblings’ feet, witchy-woo, chanting in the air, mom and dad calling me an abomination.”

“Like, say, you were in plane flying 747 miles per hour , would you die? You know, that could be dangerous, like if you’re headed to New York and your pilot reroutes for weather.”

“I had a soft spot for one of my sisters. ‘Cause otherwise, I would’ve cut her lungs out, and not just her spleen. You can survive without a spleen.”

“I did murder or heavily maim most of my immediate family, but after a long period of self-reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could have handled my anger better.”

This faux merge is clearly failing because I was supposed to get your magic, right? Just- I don’t know- Put it in a- Put it in a Teddy bear or a bed pan or whatever and gimmie!”

Yoo-hoo, niece? Come out where Uncle -muse name- can see you. I have a small axe to grind… Well, not so small.”

See, when your family decides that you're nothing but an irredeemable piece of trash, well, guess the best thing to do is prove them right, right?”

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starmieknight · 2 years

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A Truth Universally Acknowledged

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Thor x Jane Foster

Summary: After a long period away from home, Collins returns to work at the Avengers Tower where she meets their newest guest. He’s certainly charming and handsome, but she can’t shake the feeling that everyone is hiding something from her when it comes to him.

After the events of the Convergence, Loki is finally given a second chance to redeem himself by Odin’s favorite method of dealing with unruly sons: banishment to Midgard. Sometimes, he’d rather be sent back to isolation on Asgard than deal with Stark and his lackeys. But the pretty little PA that stumbles into his parlor is a welcome distraction.

At the very least, he can use her to rile up the Avengers.

___________________________

“I’m Collins Cunningham, Miss Potts’ assistant. I haven’t heard any news about a guest in the Tower, Mister…”

“Cooper. Damos Cooper.”

“Mister Cooper.”

“It is an honor to make the acquaintance of a lady as lovely as yourself, my dear.”

Contents: Secret Identity, Fluff, Romance, Soft, Gentleman!Loki, Pre-Age of Ultron, Flirting, Slow Burn

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen, Chapter Nineteen, Chapter Twenty, Chapter Twenty-One, Chapter Twenty-Two, Chapter Twenty-Three, Chapter Twenty-Four, Chapter Twenty-Five, Epilogue

Collins stepped out of the elevator with a newfound sense of familiarity with the Avengers’ floor.

For the past two weeks, she had spent more time with Pepper in her bedroom than she had with Oliver in her own. Her apartment was getting rather dusty and the orange tabby seemed grumpier with her by the day.

Collins hated to leave him so often, but it couldn’t be helped. She only hoped that he didn’t stop visiting her altogether.

She would miss the fuzzball if he went away.

She rounded the corner and found Pepper waiting in the kitchen with most of the team.

Collins had learned, through her many visits, that Agents Romanoff and Barton were off on a SHIELD assignment - the only reason she hadn’t met the entire team yet.

“Hi, Pepper!” Collins greeted her cheerfully. “What are we going over tonight?”

“Ah, no.” Mister Stark interrupted, leaving his spot by the counter to catch Collins by her shoulders. He wagged a finger at her. “No work tonight! If Pepper can nag me about not taking a break and I can’t, then I call hypocrite.”

He fixed his girlfriend with a stern look, to which she just rolled her eyes with a smile, before he continued. “Forget playing super spy tonight, Doolittle, you’re wining and dining with me and the Baywatch Bunch tonight. Thor and Cap, I mean. I’d prefer if they kept their shirts on, though. Bruce, Pep - that’s optional for you two.”

Collins snorted at the mental image and moved away to stand with Pepper. She accepted the glass of wine the older woman offered her with a murmur of thanks. She nodded at the rest of the guests in greeting.

Doctor Banner gave Mister Stark an unimpressed look. “I’m flattered.”

The sarcastic tone in his voice was the most personality Collins had heard from him yet. Well, that and what seemed like anxiety most of the time.

She couldn’t be sure, but it often seemed like Doctor Banner avoided her on purpose.

Mister Stark pouted. “Well, that’s disappointing. So much for dinner and a show, then.”

Pepper groaned in exasperation and muttered to herself about her life choices. Or maybe it was about her choice of men. Her wine glass was an efficient muffler and made her words intelligible.

Collins snickered and bumped her hip gently.

“It’s because you’re not in the kinky paperwork club.” she teased Mister Stark.

Doctor Banner laughed at the return of her joke and Pepper eyed Collins and Mister Stark with dawning apprehension.

“Again, I don’t want to know.” Pepper raised her hands in surrender. “Collins, we can pick up on the work tomorrow. We’d love for you to have dinner with us - and then the night’s yours to do as you please. I’ll understand if you want to go straight home, though.”

Collins had to admit, the idea was tempting. She had spent so much time between work and looking into the data breach with Pepper that her energy meter was running dangerously low. She wasn’t sure what good she would be in present company or if she would even be good company at present.

Pepper and Mister Stark were the only people there she really knew, so maybe it would be alright for her to call it a night and just go home.

Mister Stark seemed to think otherwise.

“I won’t!” he protested, waving his hands at his teammates. “Cap may be a fuddy duddy, but Thor’s hilarious and Bruce makes up for Cap with just like, twelve percent of his presence alone.”

Steve looked long-suffering and made a face that made Collins and Pepper giggle as he passed Mister Stark into the dining area. He didn’t even deign to respond to the other man’s quip.

Thor smiled good-naturedly and threw an arm around Mister Stark’s shoulders.

“Well spoken, my friend! But explain to me this Fuddy Duddy of which you speak. Is it some Midgardian beast?”

While Mister Stark got stuck explaining a bit of pop culture to the God of Thunder, Pepper linked arms with Bruce and beckoned Collins to follow them into the dining area too.

Tony and Thor followed after them shortly, carrying the wine from the kitchen and a few foil covered pans. Thor carried three, one resting over his forearm, seemingly immune to the heat that radiated from the dish. He set them in the center of the table according to Pepper’s directions.

“Do I take it, you'll be our guest for dinner?” Thor asked Collins hopefully when she lingered by the table.

She bit her lip, the desire to go home still strong, but wavering in the face of the endearing expression the blonde Asgardian had fixed her with.

“Oh, I don’t think I could. I don’t want to impose.” She demurred, turning her eyes from him in desperation. How dare he use the puppy dog eyes on her.

By chance or by fate, her eyes landed on a newcomer to the room.

Mister Cooper strode into the room, his long legs helping him close the distance so quickly she had little time to raise her guard against his presence, and he smiled charmingly at her.

He came to a stop before her, inclining his head and taking her hand to his lips in greeting. “I’d say you can impose on this floor whenever you like, my dear.”

Collins had to laugh at him, still utterly charmed by his manners, and met his eyes.

“Mister Cooper! How are you?” she squeezed his fingers before he released her hand.

“Better for your company.” His eyes swept over her and his smile turned into the soft expression she was beginning to find familiar on his face. “Please, call me Cooper as the others do. I dare say you and I are on more familiar terms as it is.”

Collins glanced over at the others, surprised at the sudden silence that had come over them without her notice. They stared at Collins and Cooper in surprise, the latter even more so.

Pepper and Thor seemed pleasantly taken aback by the interaction between them, a slow grin spreading over Thor’s face as he observed the closeness between them.

Doctor Banner and Steve looked distinctly uncomfortable, the former more so than the latter, and Mister Stark looked more annoyed than he did when he’d dealt with Senator Stern.

Collins raised her eyebrows at Pepper before turning back to Cooper.

“Then you call me Collins. My name is stuffy enough… as it is.” She teased lightly, determined not to treat him differently in the face of company.

“Though a lovely name, I shall abide by your request.” Cooper smirked at her and inclined his head to the table. “Will you join us for supper then, Miss Collins?”

“You’re joining us!” Mister Stark exclaimed unhappily. He stepped forward, a muscle in his jaw ticking, but was intercepted by Pepper.

She stepped forward, giving Mister Stark one of those looks that was testament to the long years they had spent together, even before they were a couple.

There was a tense silence in the room as Mister Stark and Pepper seemed to hold a conversation through their eyes only. Mister Stark was the first to look away, throwing himself down into the chair at the end of the table and downing a glass of whiskey.

Pepper turned back to Collins and Cooper with a polite smile.

“All the more company!” she said kindly, giving Collins a pat to her shoulder before linking her arm through Cooper’s. The man stiffened, but allowed Pepper to lead him to the opposite side of the table. “Cooper, you can sit next to me.”

She fixed Mister Stark with a warning look and saw Cooper into the seat next to her.

It surprised Collins when she chose a seat in the middle of the table, putting Doctor Banner between her and Mister Stark and keeping a measured distance between the men and their mutual dislike.

It seemed that Pepper and Thor were of one mind in keeping Mister Stark out of the interactions between Collins and Cooper, as Collins found herself settled next to Thor and across from Cooper. An empty seat was left on Mister Stark’s other side when Steve chose to sit at the other end of the table.

“Well, I for one am quite happy with this arrangement.” Cooper smirked to himself, looking pleased to have the company of both ladies. He had quite successfully stolen them away from the one who insisted on the family-like dinner - and had all of the room he desired at the table.

Collins could hardly scoot her chair to either side without being in danger of an elbow from Thor in her plate or catching Steve’s leg with her own.

“I bet.” she pouted half-jokingly. She raised a brow pointedly at the blonds on either side of her. “At least you’re not in danger of being squished.”

“Come, darling, don’t you feel secure between the strongest Avengers?” Cooper teased her with a gleam in his eye. There was something even more charming about those eyes than usual.

Collins caught herself staring and turned her eyes away.

“From what? The salad?” She gave Thor a playful glare as she reached for the salad tongs. He chuckled at her and moved the bowl closer so she could reach it better.

“Hardly, Miss Collins,” he assured her. “Have all you like.”

“I dare say it would be the roast.” Cooper leaned forward, catching his tie with one hand, and wore an expression like he was divulging a great secret. He glanced at Thor with a smile bordering on wickedness. “Fill your plate quickly - Thor could eat the pan and still demand more.”

Collins lifted a hand to hide a smile.

“Cooper…” Thor huffed in disapproval. He frowned and looked like he wanted to say more, but was holding back.

“Okay, okay!” Collins passed the salad on to Steve and held up her hands. She fixed Thor first, then Cooper with a warning look and a wag of her finger. “Let’s not get our feelings hurt over dinner, boys. Besides, neither of you have had dinner with me before - you might catch me keepin’ up with y’all after a long day at work.”

Her little joke got a snicker from Steve and smiles from the others at their end of the table.

Doctor Banner even looked a little more at ease, though held himself as tensely as ever, and drew Mister Stark into conversation to distract him from the annoyance of having Cooper at the table with them. The billionaire resisted at first, but Doctor Banner knew him well enough by now to catch his interest and soon the two were firing new ideas for robotics back and forth while Pepper turned her attention to them and offered some business applications for the ideas.

With Cooper and Mister Stark away from each other, the atmosphere of the room lightened enough to fall into a comfortable silence when the plates were filled and everyone focused on sating their hunger.

Collins again caught herself watching Cooper from time to time when she wasn’t worrying about her table manners. It was hard to relax sitting between a prince and a figure from history, let alone across from one who seemed more refined than most of the people she had met in her lifetime. But it was hard to worry about scraping her fork over her plate or chewing too loudly when Thor openly laughed and called attention to himself throughout the meal when Mister Stark made a joke.

Collins had to dodge a careless hand from the God of Thunder more than once when he began a story from home, gesturing wildly and never seeming to notice Collins until he nearly hit her. Then he would apologize and scoot over a bit until it happened again.

After a while, the empty chair between Thor and Mister Stark was removed and the former moved closer to the Science Bros (as Mister Stark had started calling himself and Doctor Banner), leaving Collins and Cooper to share a look of quiet exasperation.

They were left in a little bubble of quiet with the addition of Steve and Collins found herself able to observe him freely without fear of an elbow to the face.

He was more reserved than she was used to him being, though his manners to her were as nice as ever. He seemed almost entirely fixated on her and paid little attention to the others except to Pepper, with whom he was distantly polite, and Thor, who he seemed eager to tease. Steve and Doctor Banner he ignored entirely.

He had said nothing to Mister Stark throughout dinner, but Collins had caught him looking down his nose at the other man with a smug expression when the billionaire glanced their way.

Mister Stark looked increasingly agitated with every silent jab at him, and Collins exchanged a look with Pepper. An unspoken agreement to intervene was made between them.

“So… Cooper.” Collins mused quietly and caught his attention. He curled a brow and she offered a cheeky grin in return. “Have you started The Lord of the Rings yet?”

He chuckled at her impatience to have him caught up on the story and nodded. Cooper lifted his wine glass, long fingers playing with the stem of it, and his attention was wholly on Collins again.

“Oh, yes.” he confirmed. “It’s proving quite different from The Hobbit. Bilbo’s tale seemed almost fairytale in nature - and I must admit, I believe I prefer it over the other so far.”

It was a touch surprising, considering that he was fond of Hamlet, which had little shortage of conflict, but Collins thought his preference endearing. It wasn’t often she heard a man prefer the whimsical over something with more action and grit.

“It does. But the books are meant to be told from the Hobbits themselves - I could see why Frodo’s story would have a darker tone.” She agreed and took a sip of her own wine. “How far along have you gotten?”

“The Hobbits have parted ways with Tom Bombadil and met Strider.”

“Oh, I’ve just gotten to that part, too!” Steve exclaimed, surprising them both with his interruption. He looked a little embarrassed, but pushed on. Collins felt rather guilty that they had been ignoring him. “Sam said I should just watch the movies, but I’ve heard they leave things out.”

“Unfortunately, that’s the way it goes in movies.” She made a face, but kept her preference for the movies to herself. She would readily admit that there were parts of the book that didn’t fit into the movements of the film. “The bit with Tom and Goldberry is left out entirely. How are you liking the books, Steve?”

Collins turned to Steve in an attempt to make up for her earlier neglect and he looked surprised by her sudden interest.

“Well, I don’t think I’m far enough in to judge the newer books, but I like The Hobbit alright.” he admitted.

Collins laughed quietly, incredulous. “The newer books?”

“I can remember when The Hobbit first came out.” Steve smirked a bit bitterly and Collins was suddenly reminded that he was a child of the forties and not the new millenia like herself.

“I forget you didn’t grow up the same as me.” She gave him an apologetic look and tried to recover. “Y’know, if we ignore the time you lost, we’re about the same age.”

Collins winced and turned her eyes to her plate again. A blush crept over her cheeks.

How could she even dare to bring up his time in the ice? How could she be so insensitive to remind him of the time he lost? Everyone else seemed to love reminding him of the fact and here she was, no better than the others for not treating him like a person.

He was a man, even with the shield, not some relic of the past.

“It’s nice to not be seen as an old man for once.” Steve chuckled kindly. Collins felt that it was safe to look up at him again, relieved that he wasn’t upset with her. “And to see that people still appreciate the same books after all these years. Was it you that talked Cooper into reading them?”

He glanced at Cooper and she followed his eyes to find the man watching them with literal green in his eyes. Envy turned his lips downwards as Steve captured Collins’ attention, but he perked back up once she turned to him. He turned his eyes to Steve for a moment, but looked at Collins again when he spoke.

“I admit she sparked my interest in them. But it was Miss Collins herself who forced the books upon me.” Cooper teased her with a faux solemnity to his expression.

A surprised laugh tore itself from her throat, too loud to be ignored, and she grinned at Cooper openly.

“I did not! You said to lend them to you, you sneak!” she cried. “In fact, if I have forced a book on you, it was Pride and Prejudice. You can’t read only Shakespeare and still call yourself cultured - you need variety, Cooper.”

“I wouldn’t say Cooper here has any culture - unless it’s in his hair.” Mister Stark cut in with a snort. Collins turned to him in shock, her jaw dropping at the malice in his voice. “I gotta warn you, Doolittle, Rock of Ages looks like he goes weeks without washing it sometimes.”

“Tony!” Pepper cried, aghast.

“Y’know, you’re not meant to overwash curly hair, Mister Stark.” The words fell from her lips automatically, a reminder drilled into her by her great-grandmother all her life, and Collins grimaced at her own response. She frowned at Mister Stark. “I don’t see what hair has to do with the type of culture we were talking about anyway…”

“I’m surprised you can talk to the man at all, given what he’s really like.” Mister Stark fixed Cooper with a sneer. The decanter of whiskey that sat before him on the table was low, but Collins knew the man’s tolerance was too high for the excuse of drunkenness to fuel his attitude.

Cooper tilted his chin up in challenge, ice in his eyes as he met Mister Stark’s own unflinchingly.

“Just what are you implying, Stark?” he asked cooly, his voice low.

Cooper’s lips curled in a mockery of a smile. It was more of a baring of teeth, a wolf ready for a fight.

Collins and Pepper exchanged an alarmed look and began rising to their feet. They worked well together for a reason - Collins would follow Pepper’s lead if it came to stepping between the men and they would divide and conquer between Cooper and Mister Stark respectively.

Thor rose with them and soon the others followed. The God of Thunder caught Mister Stark by the shoulder as the shorter man tried to press forward and kept him in place.

“Stark, you would do well not to start something.” Thor warned, keeping his voice low. He cast an anxious look at the women and nodded at them with an expression meant to be reassuring.

It did nothing to calm Collins. She had never seen Mister Stark like this and was baffled by the change in attitude. She had only ever seen the pleasant side of him, all jokes and flirtatiousness, occasionally interspersed with manic engineer when he spent too much time unchecked in his lab.

Mister Stark tried to brush Thor’s hand off. “Because you’ll finish it for him?”

“Okay, I think we can call dinner over now.” Pepper exclaimed and stepped around Doctor Banner to cut off the line of sight between Mister Stark and Cooper. She continued speaking between gritted teeth. “Tony, can I have a word with you?”

“Sure, let’s have it out right here! Doolittle here’s gunning for the Cooper Defense Squad, Thor’s the president - where better to get everything out in the open?” Mister Stark scoffed.

Collins looked over at Cooper, worrying her lip between her teeth at the thunderous expression on his face. She had begun moving around the table without conscious thought and found herself now behind Steve, close enough to touch her friend.

Cooper tensed when Collins brushed her fingers down his elbow. He turned his head minutely, still watching Mister Stark intently, but reached behind to catch her fingers. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, his hand cool against her own.

A touch of tension left her shoulders and Collins tugged him a little closer to her and Steve.

The action didn’t go unnoticed and the captain clapped a hand on Collins’ shoulder before pressing forward so that he stood in front of Collins and Cooper. He crossed his arms and Collins found her line of sight blocked entirely by his broad shoulders and Cooper’s own tall frame.

She felt like a kitten guarded by a pair of large dogs.

“Careful, Tony.” Steve warned the other Avenger. “You’d need your suit to take on Cooper. After all, he’s looking like the bigger man in more ways than one right now.”

There was a moment of stunned silence around the table as everyone stared at Steve. Collins could see the swell of Cooper’s cheek rise and he turned his head to hide a grin.

The others seemed shocked that Steve was on Cooper’s side, but Collins had to tuck her head as well, just as amused as Cooper with the jab at Mister Stark’s height.

Steve had really thrown them a curveball with that.

“I think that’s the cue to go.” Doctor Banner said slowly, his eyebrows raised. He took Mister Stark by the arm and led him away from the table amidst protests from the other scientist. “C’mon, Tony. Pepper.”

He inclined his head at Pepper and she hurried after them, calling over her shoulder to the others with an apology in her voice.

“I’m so sorry everyone. I’ll sort this out.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Those left behind shifted awkwardly, trying to avoid each others' eyes.

Collins looked around the men and huffed a humorless laugh as she started gathering the dishes.

“Family dinners, huh?” she commented and succeeded in breaking the tension.

Thor snorted and, like a spell being broken, the men moved to help her. The remaining food was carried to the kitchen and leftovers on plates scraped away into the trash.

“Aye, it’s quite reminiscent of home.” Thor made a face as he caught up to Collins by the fridge. Behind them, there was a quiet laugh Collins had only had the delight of hearing a few times before.

She turned and caught Cooper watching Thor, his lip caught between his teeth to hide a smile.

Thor looked at him too, a tentative smile also on his face.

Collins raised her brows, rather lost on what seemed like an inside joke, but didn't comment. Instead, she nudged Thor to remind him of the casserole dish he had in hand and took it from him to cover and place in the fridge.

Between super soldiers and hardy Asgardians, it was in little danger of going to waste.

Collins had often heard Pepper lament the loss of some leftover dish or another.

The quiet sounds of the kitchen were almost domestic and Collins was reminded vividly of the after dinner clean ups back home. There, it had only been her and her mother left in the kitchen while her father wandered off to some project or television show.

The kitchen had been the center of many a heart-to-heart with her mother and was, in her mind, the center of her home.

Kitchens seemed to have that effect no matter where they were found.

“Sorry about Tony, you guys." Steve sighed once the dishes were put away. He looked so upset that he could hardly contain himself. But also sad and a little defeated. "He’s… not been himself lately. Part of it might be all these late nights Pepper’s been putting in. Doesn’t excuse that, though.”

Collins worried her lip between her teeth.

“I’ll see about getting her to step back a little.” she offered, eyes wide with apology.

Cooper surprised her by reaching out to tip her chin up. She was surprised by their difference in height every time he drew close.

He dropped his hand and offered her a small smirk.

“Don’t be too concerned, my dear." he murmured. "This attitude from Stark has become commonplace whenever he and I have the misfortune of crossing paths with one another.”

It did little to reassure her. Now, not only did she have to worry about Pepper's health and the health of the relationship between her and Mister Stark, but now Collins would worry about the severity of the feud between Cooper and Mister Stark.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why do you stay here? Why put up with that crap, especially since y’all’s dislike of each other seems mutual. Seems like spittin’ gasoline on a fire at this rate.” Collins frowned up at him, her brow furrowing in confusion and displeasure.

Cooper’s expression was oddly fond as he watched her emotions play over her face.

“I would leave the Tower today if the circumstances would but allow it." He admitted with a sigh and took her hand, tracing small doodles against her palm. Again, something itched at Collins' mind, telling her something about him was different today. "As it is, I cannot.”

Collins opened her mouth, ready to push on and ask why. Why was he there then? What was keeping him from just leaving?

But she found herself nearly barreled over by Thor, the blond behemoth nearly knocking her against the counter as he threw an arm around Cooper’s shoulders and gave him a shake.

He gave Collins a nervous grin.

“Because, he’s a… refugee!” Thor drew out the words like he was trying to catch them. He winced at his own tone and turned his head.

“A… refugee?” Collins asked slowly, quirking her brows at the pair of men before her.

Cooper sighed deeply through his nose and closed his eyes like he was wishing he were anywhere else.

He shook Thor off and moved to stand next to Collins, his nose wrinkled in annoyance.

“From Europe!" Steve chimed in, a smile just on the side of too charming plastered on his face. It looked like the smile he wore in the old videos Collins had been forced to watch in school. It made her have horrible flashbacks to PE. She turned her eyes to Cooper as Steve continued to explain. “There was a sort of coup there and SHIELD had Cooper placed here for security!”

“And Mister Stark’s not happy about that.” Collins murmured. Her brow furrowed. That wasn’t like Mister Stark. “I guess that makes sense considering his relationship with SHIELD. Still…”

Mister Stark, for all the carefree air he liked to present, tended to care too much. He became a superhero to make up for his own mistakes for crying out loud!

Collins couldn’t see him being angry at someone just for sharing his living space.

Mister Stark would have just given him his own penthouse and upped the security if it was a simple case of not getting along or SHIELD interference.

There was something more going on with Cooper than Thor and Steve were letting on. Something they either didn’t want her to know or… something classified by SHIELD.

Collins lowered her eyes, lost in thought, and Cooper seemed to feel the confusion and tension radiating off her.

“Don’t fret about it, Miss Collins.” he murmured, nudging her lightly. The brief touch left a trail of goosebumps in its wake and Collins found her attention stolen by Cooper again. “It is only a temporary situation. As soon as the tension in my… country has eased, I shall be out of Stark’s hair for good.”

“Oh…” The idea of Cooper leaving made Collins’ heart drop to her stomach. They had only known each other for a short while, broken into chance meetings and interspersed with long absences, but Collins felt like she was losing a chance on something great if he walked out of her life now.

“What’s this? Are you disappointed by the idea of my departure?” Cooper tried to tease her, his voice gentle. His eyes, however, contained a hint of melancholy as well.

“Well, if you’re gone, I don’t have anyone to harass about books and poetry.” Collins sighed, trying for a smile to lighten the mood. It was too early to ask him to stay for her, a near stranger, but she could be honest. “I’d be terribly disappointed.”

“I see.” Cooper offered her a miniscule smile in turn. “Perhaps I won’t stray far if that’s the case. I should sorely miss our conversations, Miss Collins.”

There was a quiet longing in his voice that threw Collins for a loop and she was left speechless by the naked sincerity in his words.

Looking back on their previous conversations, there was always something more lingering around Cooper, a slight air of superficiality in his words that left him polite and reserved of any truth in his desires. He had charmed her and convinced her - in a somewhat roundabout way - to come back with books in tow to break the monotony of his time in the Tower. She wasn’t a resident of the Avengers’ floor and unfamiliar enough still to be interesting to him.

The freedom to leave the Tower should kill any false hopes between them of continuing this… flirtation they had going on.

But Cooper implied that he would hang around. For her. Because of her.

Even he seemed surprised by this admittance, his eyes darkening to storm darkened seas as he peered down at her.

Behind them, Thor and Steve exchanged an awkward look, seemingly forgotten.

Steve cleared his throat, breaking Collins from her trance.

She blinked rapidly as she turned to the blond, still trying to place just what was different about Cooper.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night.” Steve announced, eyeing Cooper hesitantly before nodding at the others. “Thor, Miss Collins. Hey, uh, Cooper - if you’re not too busy later, can we finish that talk about The Hobbit?”

Cooper looked poleaxed.

“.... I suppose?”

“Great. Good night, everyone.”

Steve left them to their devices and headed down the hall to his room.

Collins fidgeted awkwardly, fighting a yawn. She glanced at the time on the microwave and winced at the late hour.

“I guess I oughta get goin’, too. Before I fall asleep under the table, anyway.” She made a face and thought longingly of her bed and the extra sleep she would be able to get.

“Allow me to walk you out, Miss Collins.” Cooper inclined his head towards the elevator and offered her his arm.

Collins’ eyes lit up and she slipped her arm through his with a shy smile. His suit was smooth and crisp beneath her fingers and he smelled of something sharp and crisp, like a winter morning. What a Yank.

“Sure. Night, Thor.” Collins allowed herself to be led out of the kitchen, offering the God of Thunder a wave as she went.

“Good evening, Lady Collins.” the blond inclined his head. “I hope you’ll join us again soon.”

“You got it, dude.” Collins shot him a finger gun and grimaced at the cheesiness of it.

Cooper raised his brows, amused, and Thor laughed.

“You are a fan of the Full House! My Jane has shown me many episodes.” He enthused. “It is most amusing!”

His joy was contagious and Collins found her awkwardness melting away with ease. She laughed quietly and nodded before turning the corner.

Yet again, she was alone with Cooper.

She looked up at him, suddenly shy again, and her grin gentled.

“So, that was something else.” Collins murmured.

“Something of a disaster, you mean.” Cooper corrected with a smirk. “I had imagined your coming to dinner quite differently.”

“Is that something you think about often?”

“It’s a coping mechanism. If I look forward to my time with you, what little time I spend in Stark’s presence is more manageable.”

“I would say that I’m flattered, but it’s really just sad to think about.” Collins murmured with a frown.

“You are as a guiding star in but a temporary storm, my dear.” Cooper slipped a hand beneath her chin to tip her face up. She met his eyes and found what was so different. His tie was blue and made his eyes seem lighter and clearer than ever. “Do not worry - even the smallest ship may at times surprise you by enduring to arrive in its harbor no worse for the wear.”

“And even the strongest barque can be toppled by a well-placed wave.” she challenged in turn. A pout threatened her lips. “I don’t like sittin’ idly by while others struggle, Cooper.”

“Such a kind heart you have, Miss Collins.” he sighed fondly. The corners of his eyes crinkled and Collins felt her heart skip a beat. She was becoming all too fond of those lines in his face. “I feel all the more fortunate to have met you for it. If you are still so concerned, I would have you visit more often - if you have the time to spare, that is. Perhaps I could even enjoy my time in the Tower with such an amicable companion.”

Collins felt her face warm and her eyes flickered involuntarily to his mouth. The combination of her exhaustion and his easy flattery was messing with her skills of perception.

When had he gotten so close to her, close enough for a stray ebony lock to brush her cheek? Her hand had strayed to his chest, her palm resting over his heart to feel the steady thump of his life force while his enchanting eyes held her captive.

He was whittling away her desire to go home one flutter of his eyelashes at a time.

Cooper unlocked their arms and trailed his fingers down her forearm until he could slip her hand into his own.

“Could I give you my number?” Collins asked breathlessly, feeling her heart run wild with the contact. She had to break up the moment before she lost herself entirely. “That way we can text each other before I come over - and keep in contact when I can’t. I hate to think of you stuck here without anyone on your side.”

The thought of him alone grounded her and helped her find her senses again.

“Thor has been on my side from the beginning, and it seems you’ve helped me find a champion in the captain as well, but one can never have an overabundance of allies. Tell me your ‘number’; though I warn you, these… cellphones are not my forte. It will no doubt be some time before I work my way around this concept of ‘texting’.” Cooper shook his head doubtfully.

“Y’know, I could also have an intern run messages from my office.” Collins offered, a mischievous light sparkling in her eyes. He acted like such an old man at times. “If you’re so invested in this old world persona you portray.”

“And what of you? Ordering the help about like a lady of the court!” Cooper exclaimed quietly with a laugh. He shook his head again. “No, I will settle on your terms and give you a call.”

“Alright, then.” Collins accepted and rattled off her number. “You think you can remember that?”

“I have an excellent memory, my dear. I won’t forget. Go now - your eyes look as heavy as lead and you’ve begun to list with weariness. I shall call you tomorrow when you’ve had the time to rest.”

“Call around one - that’s my lunch hour.”

“Very well. Good evening, Miss Collins. Go safely.” Cooper lifted her knuckles to his lips, lingering there for a long moment before releasing her.

Collins felt her face warm to boiling. She cleared her throat and lowered her eyes bashfully.

It seemed she was doomed to blush like a fool everytime they said their goodbyes.

“Good night, Cooper.” She bid him, reluctant to look away even for a moment as she stepped into the elevator.

He inclined his head to her, watching her go with an affectionate smile as the doors closed and she was carried away.

Collins cocked her head to the side as a thought caught her.

Cooper’s mannerisms left him looking a lot like Thor.

A princely manner indeed.

#loki mcu #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki au #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu fanfiction #loki x original character #loki x original female character #loki x oc #loki x ofc #my writing #A Truth Universally Acknowledged

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

Text

handmaid - 09

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mentions of violence

A/N: hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

- It’s about Mr. Williams.

Sebastian’s face creased up, the lines that were rather faint in his skin becoming more prominent as his cerulean eyes lowered to look at the Y/N who was starting to curl up like a silkworm. That was the least of names he wanted to hear, specially the least of names he wanted to hear coming from her lips. The name itself seemed to taint her lips and it didn’t take long for Y/N to realise the atmosphere had shifted into uncharted territory. Sebastian wouldn’t hurt her, right? He had never given her any excuses for her to believe he would hurt her, however the dislike for Mr. Williams was certainly present.

- What about Mr. Williams, Y/N? - he spoke in a low tenor, menacing enough to make her feel short.

- I was just speaking with Gwen ... - Y/N was lying through her teeth, hoping Sebastian wouldn’t ask a lot of questions if she added the heiress’ name to the narrative. He, however, didn’t seem to lower down his defence stance. - You’re not gonna dispose of him, are you?

- I don’t think I owe you any explanation about my business. Know your place, Y/N. - the words made her heart clench as the once rather warm and comfortable environment seemed to freeze, and Y/N was no longer comfortable. Why would she ask him about his business? Yet, on the other hand why shouldn’t she? She was one of his employees too.

Y/N’s glance migrated away from him to look at her own hands which were gripping the railings of the balcony. It hadn’t been hard for her notice that he didn’t really like people messing into his business, however, she wasn’t expecting to having been shot down this quickly. It wasn’t like Y/N was a big fan of Thompson Williams, she was just paying him a favour, after all everyone is worth a second shot and he looked scared enough and worried to deserve one. With a shaky breathe, she returned to look at him, observing that the tenseness had not left his face, however it looked like a facade, almost like a mask and she wondered what he hid behind it.

Without speaking another word, frightful for more hurtful words coming from him, she turned around, feet moving to point towards the door which she walked to, opening it and leaving Sebastian’s suite. So much for the favour mentioned by the sleazy man. Why would he hold any favour towards her when she was a bright reminder that he was fated towards a marriage he didn’t pick?

Almost like snapped of a daze, Sebastian blinked quite a few times, lingering on the place she had been on before he took off to the hall expecting her not to be fast enough to have already returned to her bedroom. Much to his dismay, the halls of the hotel were empty with only sounds of soft snoring coming from the other bedrooms.

- Fuck. - he sighed, kicking one of the wall heaters in frustration.

- Sir. - one of the bodyguards made himself known. - Is everything alright, sir?

- Yes, Elias. - Sebastian had made particularly important to have trusted bodyguards following Y/N and Gwen around, however, Elias was specially responsible by keeping an eye on Y/N. - Make sure Miss Y/N is alright.

The morning came quickly and like a wound, his words were rather sore on her mind and running wild as she sat down on the hotel’s restaurant to have a lavish restaurant with Gwen. Despite the beautiful refined pastries, cakes, and teas being constantly put in front of her, she was much too lost in her thoughts and regrets over even mentioning Williams’ name in front of Sebastian.

Another employee set a basket of bread in front of the two girls along with endless glasses of various brightly coloured juices which smelled like they were freshly squeezed fruit juice. The breakfast however went by in seconds, maybe due to Y/N’s relentlessness to overthink every single little thing she had done wrong or maybe due to the fact that regarding the nice climate, Gwen was interested in rushing through breakfast and head out to the pool. In all honesty, a nice day by the pool did sound nice, as long as she were able to read whatever she wanted with no one bothering her.

It wasn’t like Gwen was gonna go do sight seeing which meant Y/N had to do with what she was given and a peaceful day by the pool sounded well enough. They were taken by the bodyguards to the pool and set off shop in the white and bamboo lounge with a VIP sign glued to. Y/N took place in the shadiest place, opening her book, set it on top of her legs and put her earbuds in, getting lost in instrumental soundtracks and beautifully written novels.

Sebastian woke up much later than the two women, picking his phone to check if there were any business news and much to his dismay, there were several things he’d had to go over. Before returning to his work, he decided to go check on Gwen, mostly because he was certain Y/N was most likely by his fianceé’s side. And by her side she was, as he stepped onto the pool courtyard he found the very innocent and naíve Y/N scantily clad in a bright red swimsuit in Baywatch fashion. Suddenly, his pants felt tighter and his mind was screaming at him not to look at the handmaid when his future wife was even more scantily dressed than her.

Y/N noticed his presence, pushing her red rimmed sunglasses down a bit to the bridge of her nose to look at him before pushing them back up and raising her book her. She was definitely upset at him and he couldn’t apologise for his behaviour in front of Gwen.

Sebastian grabbed his phone from his back pocket, dialling a very familiar number before turning his back on the two girls.

- I’m gonna need a favour. - he mumbled as he walked away to return to his business.

- Y/N! - Gwen poked her handmaid’s arm, making her take her earbuds off and eventually ending her peaceful moment. - Look at those guys, they’re are totally checking us out.

Y/N rolled her eyes, rotating her head ever to slightly look at the men on the other side on the pool. They looked exactly like the same type of guys she had gone to university with and none of them held a candle to Sebastian. Wait. Why was she comparing them to Sebastian? Of course they looked nothing like the mob boss, they weren’t being apparently closed off about their flirting, were significantly younger and ... well ... they did not look like him. But he was engaged and it was clear he was probably still mad at her. Despite that, Y/N was still not in the mood to play wing woman to Gwen.

- They are definitely staring at you, Gwen.

- Aw, what’s that? Are you saving yourself for someone else or something?

- I’m just not in the mood. - she sighed. - Besides, they’re just looking for a passing fancy.

- A forever romantic, aren’t you? C’mon, is there someone I should know about?

- I don’t think anyone is interested in me like that, Gwen.

- C’mon! Don’t you have someone whose touch lingers a little bit after they’ve done so? - yes. God yes, but that someone whose touch lingered around every time they happened. - If you don’t then there’s some guys clearly interested in talking to us.

- You can go, Gweny. You clearly want to go. - Sebastian had left a long time ago, hence why Y/N was rallying her up to do so. Yet, mostly so she could leave her alone which after a while she did, walking up in heels to the group of boys who fanned over her like if she were the impersonation of Venus. After a while of being in the shade reading Dangerous Liasons, Y/N decided to return to her room knowing Gwen was about to retire from the pool herself with one of the boys.

Tired, she put a light and soft white coat on and grabbed her bag before heading to the stairs and onto the lift with Elias constantly on her tail. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to security but ever since Sebastian assigned her own bodyguard to follow her around, it just felt odd. However, thankfully, she only had one compared to the crowd of six that followed Gwen around.

The lift ride seemed endless when you’re tired but in less than two minutes she was back on her floor and on her bedroom. Throwing her bag onto the bed, she removed the coat and sat down on her duvet, eyes scanning her bedroom until she noticed a black velvety box standing in her dresser.

- Elias?- she called out and immediately the man had his head popped into the slight opening of her door. - What is that box?

- It was left there by the staff. - he shrugged and returned to his position of waiting outside her door.

Curiously, Y/N paced to her dresser, looking at the box as if it were an explosive device before her hands brushed against the velvety material of the box. She didn’t know what it was but whatever it was, it was well packaged in a very expensive looking box. Suspiciously, she opened the box where a note in beige coloured paper was standing on top of a velvet bag. She took the paper in her hands, turning it around to see a rushed yet somehow pleasing handwriting. I’m sorry. S.S. x

Sebastian. Her tummy filled with butterflies as she felt the heat creep onto her cheeks. Placing the card on the table, she grabbed the velvet bag which was slightly heavier than expected and once she opened it to check the contents of it, she couldn’t help but smile at what she saw. It was exactly the same as she remembered, in the same beautiful pure white colour with golden accents. She opened the top of the music box and out came the melody she knew too well accompanied with the crystal ballerina and the Paris landscape.

Without much of a thought, she rushed out of her door and to the front of Sebastian’s suite door, knocking on it rather forcefully.

- Miss Y/N, Mr. Stan isn’t taking any visits right now. - one of his bodyguards rather rudely spoke down to her.

- I’m sorry, I just really need to speak with him. - she held the music box close to her chest. - Please.

- I’m afraid you didn’t hear me correctly. - his hand wrapped around her wrist, pushing her away from the door and into the middle of the hall. - No visits now.

- Could you please let him know that I want to speak with him. Please.

- Listen, Miss Y/N, I see you’re used to experience the same type of privilege as Miss Forrest but you’re an employee and as an employee you schedule appointments and behave like an employee. Are we understood?

- Yes. - she looked down, shifting her weight from side to side.

- Unhand Miss Y/N this second. - the colour from his face drained as his hand lost its grip on her wrist. She looked up to see a very unhappy Sebastian with his arms crossed across his chest and, like a shy child, tip toed over behind him as he condemned the bodyguard. - You are not to touch Miss Y/N without her permission or I’ll cut your fucking hands off. Do you hear me?

- Yes, sir. - Y/N was fascinated by how he didn’t need to scream and how he just kept a grip over power unseen to her. Before she could even process what had just happened, Sebastian placed his hand on the small of her back to lead her back to his suite before closing the door behind them.

- You should’ve called out for me when you knocked. - his gaze lowered to the music box in her hands. - I see you’ve got my gift. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you last night.

- This is the most thoughtful thing someone has ever done for me. I can’t believe you remembered. - her fingers traced the pattern on the music box, smiling mindlessly. - Thank you so much, Sebastian. I don’t know ... I don’t even know how to repay the favour.

- It’s a gift, angel. You really should stop trying to repay gifts. - his hand grazed over her forearm. The lingering touch, there is was, and she couldn’t help but stare into his cerulean eyes. - I wasn’t in my best behaviour last night and I wanted to apologise.

Y/N softly smiled, all the worries from last night fading away as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug which took him by surprise. She had put her music box by the side and Sebastian stood there not entirely sure what to do with himself, all he knew is that it felt good to have her in his arms in a way like nothing else ever felt. The hug seemed too short as both of them pulled away, staring into each other’s eyes until the magnetism just became too much for any of them to handle and as if she were bewitched she leaned forward, connecting her lips to his in what felt like the blooming of various emotions she was yet to experience.

It’s really something.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan fanfic #mob!sebastian stan x reader #mob!sebastian stan #mob boss! sebastian stan

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madamewriterofwrongs · 3 years

Note

For AUs, how about 9-1-1/Castle: Buck and Eddie end up called to an emergency at a crime scene that Beckett and the gang have also been called to :)

Prompt Me with AUs

I just finished watching an episode of Castle and I forgot how sexy all those motherfuckers were. Damn. Add the 118? That might be too much sexy.

This one kind of got away from me a little. Oops?

Here’s a little excerpt from my series: Unashamed.

Beckett was supposed to be on vacation - an actual vacation not a pretend vacation where she actually spends her time fighting bad guys. This was supposed to be her and her husband, celebrating their anniversary on the other side of the country where no case could follow them.

She should have known better.

Los Angeles is exactly how she remembers: hot, crowded, and filled with people who make her feel mildly self-conscious about her body.

For example: the two firefighters currently pulling the body of some mysterious woman out of the tree in their front yard, who look like they walked off the set of Baywatch.

Seriously, what is in the water out here?

They answer questions from a woman whose glare could put Gates’ to shame - they should call her and thank her for the gift she sent - and then wait on the lawn until they’re condo is cleared of first responders.

While they lounge, they overhear some of the firefighters chatting and stop pretending that they’re listening in. Five years of marriage has not made Castle any less nosey, nor Beckett any less inquisitive (yes, it’s the same thing, but it’s all in the wording).

“That girl was totally hitting on you last night.” The blond’s voice isn’t necessarily accusing but he certainly isn’t pleased about the development.

The brunet simply shrugs in response. “She wasn’t my type.”

“Oh yeah? And what is your type?”

“Tall, blue eyes, blond, muscular, kind of dumb but in a smart way, good with kids.”

As if he hadn’t actually heard the intense declaration of love, the other firefighter chuckled without looking up from his work.

“That kind of sounds like me. Too bad it isn’t.”

Of course, the brunet rolled his eyes to the back of his head. “Did I mention ‘dumb’?”

“Yeah.”

“Just checking.”

As the pair walked out of earshot Beckett turned to her husband who held the same disbelieving - yet highly amused - expression. They exchanged gaping mouths and halted sentences, struggling to find the words to describe the exchange they’d just witnessed.

Nothing came to mind.

Before they could continue to flounder, the couple returned, carrying even more nonsense.

“Okay, so my husband’s birthday is coming up,” the blond explained. “but I’m afraid to admit that I don’t know what to get him. Everything I can think of is either expensive or sexual.” He made a face. “Or both.”

The brunet rolled his eyes fondly. “I’m sure your husband will like whatever you get him because it came from you.”

Beckett mouthed her surprise to her partner (who silently echoed her disbelief) as the boys continued their conversation as though they weren’t at an active crime scene.

“So how do you figure she got up in the tree?” The brunet asked.

“Fell out of a plane?” The blond supplied.

Three voice answered at once: “She didn’t fall out of a plane.”

Castle and Beckett looked more startled at the police officer approaching the group, than at the fact that they’d been caught listening in to the pair’s conversation.

The firefighters took their intrusion with welcome curiosity, raising an eyebrow without questioning their presence.

The officer, on the other hand, still had some questions. “And how do you know that?”

Again, both Castle and Beckett opened their mouths to speak. “Well...” but Beckett cut off her husband. She could at least speak, one cop to another.

“This far west, we aren’t in the path of any commercial flights.”

“And the way she landed suggests a slightly softer landing than falling from 30,000 feet.” Castle interjected - speaking as one private investigator to... a cop.

There were few people who could intimidate Kate Beckett with a single look, but this woman was certainly trying her hardest.

And succeeding, as far as the NYPD captain was concerned. She was not afraid to admit that she shrunk into her husband’s side as the other woman scrutinized the couple.

Finally, the woman impatiently asked: “Any suggestions?”

Castle opened his mouth but only glottal uncertainty came out. Luckily, he was saved by the rather enthusiastic blond.

“A hot air balloon.”

“Gold star for Buckley-Diaz.” The sergeant congratulated him, earning a preening look of glee that even Beckett could admit was adorable.

His brunet companion snorted. “Which one?”

“The one who solved the case.” The woman replied with a smirk. “Dispatch got a call from a sightseeing company twenty minutes ago. Said they lost a passenger somewhere in the area. We’ll investigate but it sounds like a terrible accident.”

With that, she walked away from the quartet without so much as a nod goodbye.

“Nice solve.” The brunet high-fived his partner who smiled brightly in response.

Castle conceded the win to the dynamic duo before them, but Beckett was still caught on one specific detail.

“You’re both Buckley-Diaz?” The boys shrugged in affirmation.

“We wanted to hyphenate instead of one of us taking the other’s last name.” The brunet sent a fond look that Castle recognized from the mirror. “Create our own family, you know?”

Wait.

“Are the two of you married?” He tried to conflate this new information with what they’d received earlier.

The blond winked at Castle in response. “Guess you’re out of luck.”

Before the writer could even compute the last five minutes, the pair were gone and out of their lives forever.

The couple sat silently on the lawn as first responders finally rolled away from their rental condo, leaving them in stunned disbelief.

And they sat. For what could have been minutes or hours, but was certainly not how they planned on spending their first day in LA.

Beckett broke first.

“Do you want to go to Disneyland?” Castle was up and packing their bags in an instant.

They officially needed a vacation from their vacation.

Prompt Me with AUs

#911 fox #911 on fox #castle #abc castle #evan buckley #eddie diaz #rick castle #kate beckett #buddie #caskett #unashamed #alternate universe #au #crossover #cj writes things #prompts #221bsunsettowers #cj answers things

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that-shamrock-vibe · 3 years

Text

Movie Review: Wonder Woman 1984 (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I haven’t been able to see this movie when it came out here in the U.K, so had to wait until a couple of days after Christmas to both watch and review it. If you haven’t seen this movie by the last week of the year and want to avoid spoilers go and watch it before reading on.

General Reaction:

I have finally seen Wonder Woman 1984, the first new superhero movie I have seen in 2020 outside of The New Mutants and my god it has been a trial to be able to watch this.

Being from the U.K, which was surprisingly a factor with one minor part of this movie, we over here usually get the big blockbusters particularly of the comic-book variety before or on the same day as the U.S. However, thanks to this fakakta pandemic and the new world order that movie studios and theatres find themselves in during 2020, I have been reduced to watching a blockbuster movie for the first time initially on my laptop rather than on the big screen as movies like this should be brought out first as.

I am fully aware that this is a global pandemic and that watching movies in the cinema pales in significance to what needs to be done to combat and eventually defeat this crisis, but being from an area where all cinemas are closed I’m out on a limb basically.

I won’t turn this part of the review into a COVID rant because frankly I am sick of talking about it but I do feel COVID will be a factor with the performance of these upcoming movies.

That being said, the second real world rant factor I have for this is WW1984 I feel has suffered due to constant schedule shifting and I feel a fairly uneven advertising campaign.

I went into this movie not thinking I was going to see the villains the way they are in the trailers or the comics and honestly it does seem that Cheetah and Max Lord, who are both credited Wonder Woman villains, have their roles reversed and the one who you think is going to be the biggest threat pretty much becomes a henchman and the one mainstream fans may not know a lot about is surprisingly the big threat but you’re also meant to feel sympathetic for both of them to a degree.

It seems a complete 180 spin from the first Wonder Woman movie which was a very grounded and gritty WW1 story to now be in the zany 80s...which as a decade has aspects of being zany yes but the way in which this movie plays out genuinely made me think of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies...but the best of them rather than Emo Peter.

There are so many plot points in this movie that more or less spawn from the main McGuffin of the movie which is the Dream Stone allowing people to make wishes but grants them with a sacrifice. The movie has several sub-plots that are the repercussions of the wishes that everyone makes and individually all of these sub-plots are very interesting...it’s when you then try to tie them all together for the big climactic battle that is when you get a bit of a mess,

Also, there is hardly any action in this movie and as both a Wonder Woman movie and a superhero movie in general, I am longing for some action sequences this year and the fact there are almost no good v evil fights would be disappointing, if not for the fact I understand where Patty Jenkins and the writers are trying to accomplish with this movie in comparison to the first movie.

I am not a massive Wonder Woman fan, I know the basics of Diana, the two Wonder Girls, Cheetah and Max Lord enough to understand what is going on. But the one thing that has always drawn me to her is that she is a hero with two distinct sides.

Firstly there’s the warrior that most mainstream fans would be aware of which is more played up in the first movie, but then there’s also the diplomat and the ambassador who attempts to always get across her message of peace which is more played up here.

If I think about it from that perspective, I can forgive the lack of action.

That being said, there is still a jumble of plot points that once you do untangle them all lead to the same conclusion, but there are too many ideas in 2h30 to make the movie coherent.

That’s the main negatives out of the way, the positives somewhat outweigh the negatives, let it be known I did enjoy this movie and there are some brilliant moments and sequences, but a lot of scenes aren’t developed enough or some aspects seem to be kept on the backburner maybe for a sequel.

Characters:

Diana:

We have to start with Wonder Woman herself, but as I mentioned before I am calling her Diana rather than Wonder Woman in my subheading because there wasn’t a lot of Wonder Woman action in this movie. If you’ve seen the trailers you’ve seen pretty much everything.

Going back to that first action piece when we are reintroduced to Wonder Woman at the shopping mall, I do understand why she’s doing what she’s doing by acting as a vigilante rather than a public superhero and not using violence does keep in step with where we first met her in Batman v. Superman during present day where she claims not to be about fighting or saving mankind anymore and to be honest here she does keep with that. She’s given up her Godkiller sword and shield but still makes full use of her lasso of truth along with her bracelets of submission and Aunt Antiope’s Tiara in a defensive manner but never to outwardly cause harm.

But yes, this entire sequence could easily substitute Wonder Woman with Spider-Man and her lasso and tiara with his web-shooters and feel like the good parts of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies. It’s just borderline corny and somewhat cartoonish particularly when she’s saving the two young girls by either dropping them on a rocking horse or spinning them into giant teddy bears.

Also there’s that Cairo highway chase scene which sees Steve and Diana chasing after Max Lord who has just achieved his goal of claiming an army. I both like and dislike this scene. I like the scene for showing the starting effects of Diana’s power loss which is later explained to be the cause of Barbara’s wish to be like her which means she is syphoning Diana’s power.

On the flip-side, I really don’t like the overall action in this scene. Firstly, she seemingly has her armour on underneath her clothes because as she’s getting out the car she has her clothes on one minute and her armour in the next shot with no spinning involved.

Secondly, she gets out the car and starts running almost instantly while the car is still moving...I get she’s a demigoddess and therefore normal laws of motion may not apply to her but there’s no dodgy transition or stumbling or anything, she just starts running...Baywatch style to a remix of her theme which is brilliant but because of her losing her powers she is somewhat weakened and therefore you see her bleed. The whole scene just seems rather sloppy.

Regardless of the somewhat lacklustre action of the movie, Wonder Woman 1984 excels in presenting a different form of battling with words rather than weapons. Diana’s message of hope and love at the end of the movie may be a complete switch around from how she was all for being the god-killer in the first movie where Ares was involved, but it’s definitely a good message and, particularly in these times, a needed message.

Sometimes love and hope is enough, Diana does try and see the best in everyone and cannot understand or comprehend evil unless there is no other option. Ares was the God of War and as such a personification of hate and therefore evil. Max was simply corrupted and misguided and Diana could see that, just as Barbara was.

All of this is sold in Gal Gadot’s performance. You can tell from the start Diana is doing what she’s doing because she feels it is what’s right, but particularly when Steve comes back and the ultimatum is either saving the world or keeping him she is definitely torn at one point. Steve is the only thing she has ever wished for herself other than becoming a warrior and protector so why shouldn’t she be rewarded for her decades of servitude?

Also, much like every movie she appears in, Gal Gadot looks stunning throughout this movie. Not just in her Wonder Woman and Golden Armor but also in her Diana persona, she wears what appears to be a boiler suit at one point in this movie and still looks like it could be modelled on a runway. I know Gal is/was a model but she is never defined by that. When she’s acting she’s an actress first and a model second and the clothes never wear her.

My favourite look of hers which I now have in Funko form is her gala dress because not only does it honour her Amazon roots but it just looks stunning.

Her Wonder Woman armour here is made somewhat more cheesecaky than her other versions and it does make Diana look somewhat like Wonder Woman barbie but because of the vibrant 80s setting this movie is in and particularly with who else shows up in the movie offering a great parallel to it, it actually won me over. If this is how Wonder Woman looks as a diplomat I’ll allow it.

I really do enjoy the parallels between the DCEU’s Diana Prince and Bruce Wayne in terms of the detective/vigilante combination. Because there was little fighting here, Diana was allowed to be the detective more, travelling to different places tracking down Max Lord and figuring out that the Dream Stone is the cause of Steve returning from the dead.

However, while they may be pushing Diana and Bruce together in the present day, Diana’s true love is Steve Trevor and the two do have a fantastic blend of a working and romantic partnership on par, for me, with Ant-Man and the Wasp from the comics.

Outside of Steve though, Diana definitely has no love-loss for other men until the end of this movie. She sees right through Max Lord’s childish bravado at the start of the movie, she’s quick to repel any letchy guy throughout this movie, and it isn’t until Steve effectively gives her permission to move on at the end that she does...albeit seemingly with the man whose body Steve took over which seems a little backwards to me but I’ll allow it.

Wonder Woman also gets some fancy new upgrades in this movie. Not only do we have more functions of the Lasso of Truth with showing memories and broadcasting a voice, but also Diana gets her invisible jet through the means of a new power being able to make things invisible which she says is inherited from her father (Zeus) who used the power to hide Themyscira from the world.

The jet is a great precursor to what comes later because while flying in the jet, Diana talks about her longing to be able to fly which we all know as fans that she can do in pretty much every other incarnation yet all we’ve seen her do in the DCEU is leap long distances.

So the payoff when she actually flies after letting go of Steve finally was fantastic, honestly a fist-pumped the air and startled my dog because I got that excited. I do love how she still uses her lasso to propel herself and swing from lightning because it’s kind of like training wheels but seeing her fly at the very end unaided was everything.

I can’t decide how I feel about the ending, I do love how Diana saved the day in terms of using words over weapons, but it’s the fact she is pretty much looking directly at the camera while giving this big hope and love speech implying that she is talking to us as an audience as well as the world within the movie. It just seems very much a #BeKind movement which, again, is an important message particularly in today’s climate. But why does this need to be in a superhero movie?

Gal Gadot continues to be rather funny in the role as well. As with the first movie though, her humour is never really in jokes or in her actions but rather in serious dry whit. This kind of humour is right up my street. From her rejection of Max’s offer to buy her a TV to teaching Steve about the advancements in the 1980s from his time it was all rather well handled.

Diana simply continues to be a very warm and welcoming hero and Gal Gadot radiates these traits effortlessly. You feel bad whenever she feels bad, you want to cry whenever she cries, you get angry whenever she gets angry and you smile whenever she smiles. Gal Gadot continues to be as perfect in the role of Wonder Woman as Johnny Depp is for Jack Sparrow and Rosario Dawson is Ahsoka Tano.

Max Lord:

Okay so this is where things get complex because, to the best of my knowledge, this version of Max Lord is not the same as the one from the comics or any other media I’ve seen...I genuinely actually think they say Lord isn’t even his actual surname in this movie.

Alright, so this is where I’m slightly conflicted on this character. Maxwell Lord from the comics and Smallville where I first became aware of the character is a meta with the ability to control minds.

Becoming the Dream Stone doesn’t really give him the same power as effectively it makes him a genie but the power of the dream stone being equivalent to that of the Monkey’s Paw which grants wishes with consequences I guess is of similar elk.

Also, it’s not stated but shown that Max has some sort of degenerative condition before obtaining the stone but using the power of the stone seemingly sped up the condition because by the third act of the movie he looked like a shell of a man.

Obviously he knew of this which is why he wanted to utilize the stone’s power to a mass audience in order to grant their wishes and in return syphon their health and wealth but this is why I say that neither he nor Barbara were true villains because they were corrupted by the power the stone gave them.

I have a very weird stance of sympathetic villains, Cheetah is supposed to be a sympathetic villain to a degree but I’ve never really seen Max as such. In Smallville he is pretty much a henchman or underling whereas in Supergirl he was somewhat an anti-hero towards the end but mainly a villain.

I get the movie’s message of “Nothing good comes from hate” is in reference to the stone which was made by a trickster god and as such is inherently corrupt which makes its users also corrupt but not evil. But considering I originally didn’t think Max would be the main antagonist of the movie, when it was revealed he was I wanted to see some evil for evil’s sake behaviour rather than power corrupts twice over.

Also, in relation to his wishing power, the scene in which he tries to go through numerous clients to regain his health does play off a lot like Lucifer luring out people’s greatest desires.

Speaking of the wishes, two aspects of this I want to highlight. Firstly, when he reaches out to the world and grants everyone’s wishes, that one wish the diner lady utters about wanting the Irish to go back to where they come from...as someone of Irish heritage this is that wish I mentioned being from the U.K. was a surprising factor in for me...despite my Irish heritage being of Republic blood rather than Northern.

Secondly, I have now seen this movie twice and I do not know the reason for the weird satellite light that Max was in during the climax. I mean everything was basically going to hell and Max receiving the energy of the wishes and granting the wishes was basically giving him this protective funnel which Wonder Woman couldn’t penetrate, but was the light from the satellites and why did he need the satellites other to broadcast himself which he’s clearly already doing so what’s going on? I may not be making much sense but I genuinely don’t know what was going on at that point.

Pedro Pascal was still very good in this role, he comes across a lot better in the actual movie than he does in the trailers because the shots we see of him in the trailers I genuinely thought he was wearing a hairpiece, and he still might be but it looks more natural throughout the movie.

I know Pascal to be a rather funny individual in interviews and behind the scenes of other projects, but I’ve never seen him actually be funny in character...again I’m not sure how I feel about a comedic villain, but between this role and his role as Agent Whisky in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, he has the makings of a great villain actor.

There were times when Pascal played the character like Steve Carrell voice’s Gru in Despicable Me which again plays into the comedic villain angle but overall I felt his motives were clear and the way in which he went about achieving his goals was bold, ballsy and well executed.

I get why they added a son for Max in this movie and I am glad they stuck with the fact Pedro Pascal is Latino despite I don’t believe the character originally is but it added some diversity to the movie along with Gal Gadot’s Israeli accent. But yeah the point of the son was to personify what Max sacrificed in exchange for his wish because all he wants deep down is to be a success in his son’s eyes and feels this is how to go about it, but when it’s the choice between his son’s safety over the completion of his dynastic plan, similarly to Diana choosing to give up what she wants (Steve) for the greater good, he chooses his son.

Also I will say this. When Alastair tells Max that he already loves him because he’s his dad and strokes his face...Had I actually seen this movie when it came out in the U.K. it would have been two days before the finalé of The Mandalorian Season 2. But because I saw that finalé first and the very emotional scene between Din and Grogu...to see that pretty much replicated here felt slightly lacklustre.

Max doesn’t die at the end, no one dies in this entire movie (technically) so there is room for him to return unless they do another time jump. I’m not sure why he would return unless he goes full villain for villainy sake rather than corruption but I am actually happy he survived.

Having said that, one of Wonder Woman’s most famous moments from the comics is snapping the neck of Maxwell Lord. This could have easily been the climax of the movie but I feel thanks to Man of Steel giving this plot point to Superman when he snapped Zod’s neck, despite chronologically this coming first it would lose it’s momentum,

Cheetah:

I will admit I was not as disappointed with Barbara as I thought I would be going into this movie.

Having said that, I’m going to start with the negatives before talking about the positives of the character.

Firstly, both Barbara and later Cheetah are redheads, Kristen Wiig is naturally not but for the role of the character she could have easily worn a wig or died her hair for the role because not only is Barbara being portrayed as the ditzy blonde at the start of the movie a little redundant at this point, when she became Cheetah it did not look right with her as a blonde.

Now let’s talk about the actual Cheetah look. We’ve seen that one shot of her in the DC Fandome trailer but it was so dark and so quick that there was practically nothing to analyse, seeing her appear in the final 30 minutes of this movie...which is how long she actually appears as Cheetah...it’s both a lot to take in but also a lot to be disappointed in.

So Barbara’s turning point to villainy I feel isn’t when she beats up that man who attempted to assault her, but instead when she fears Diana and Steve are talking about killing Max to save the world because he absorbed the stone and the stone needs to be destroyed to save the world from carnage.

At this point she appears at the White House just as Diana has Max captive, dressed in this admittedly trendy Cheetah-print attire, incapacitates or possibly kills the White House security team and gives both Wonder Woman and Steve a whooping.

Firstly, the very fact there was no mention of the fact Barbara could tell Diana Prince and Wonder Woman were the same person just shows how daft the secret identities of some of these DC Heroes is.

But secondly, when Max retreats, Barbara hitches a ride with him and gets another wish for saving his life. Rather than wishing to be like Diana this time, she wishes to become an Apex Predator and is therefore granted the anger and vengeance of all the people Max grants wishes to via satellite.

This combination somehow turns her into a Cheetah as when we next see her she is Cheetah...a very badly CG’d undeveloped version of Cheetah but this is our Cheetah.

My version of Cheetah is from Injustice 2 and I know a bit of her backstory in the comics enough to know she was an archaeologist who was cursed to become the Cheetah and how in the DC Rebirth Wonder Woman, Barbara and Diana were friends but then when she became Cheetah, she felt betrayed by Diana and became her enemy that way.

That’s kind of similar here but it’s not a Cheetah curse that made her Cheetah, it’s a wish and a very literal interpretation of the wish “I want to become an Apex predator”...what’s an apex predator? A cheetah, get it?

Also as Cheetah, she just looks like Barbara styled her hair different and bought a Cheetah onesie. I wish she had gone full cheetah with the face, instead we get some very weird make-up which seems to wash off when they land in the water and some weird contouring or something to give Kristen Wiig a different nose...they could have continued the Cheetah fur on the face, given her cat-eyes, bigger fangs, something!

Again, Barbara’s villainy stems from power corruption, Barbara’s first wish was wanting to be like Diana and because of this got her powers so went a little bit power mad when she discovered she had super strength and speed.

Interestingly though, despite being electrocuted, Barbara does survive and when all the wishes are renounced she reverts back to a human...or does she?

Keep in mind that we never see Barbara take back her wish, in fact she is quite adamant in not doing that which leads Diana to making the hard call. The fact is it was by Max’s hand that Barbara finally became Cheetah so when he took back the wish of becoming the Dream Stone, that wish was rescinded…but Barbara’s original wish of becoming like Diana and thus gaining the powers of an Amazon demigoddess actually might still be in tact.

It’s implied that she is still pissed at Diana even after reverting back to human, so I do see her returning more than I do Max Lord but in her return I hope there’s a Cheetah redemption.

Steve Trevor:

I am really starting to be won around by Chris Pine as an actor. Originally in my list of “Hollywood Chris’” he was at the bottom because he isn’t Marvel, but now I think I actually would put him ahead of Pratt. Not only do I love him in this role here but also Rise of the Guardians which I’ve re-watched over the holidays.

So when it was announced that Pine would return as Steve Trevor in a movie set decades after the first movie which he died in, I like a lot of fans were curious as to how they were going to accomplish this. I mean we’re dealing with the DC variation of Greek Mythology and so I thought maybe Hades could be a factor, but then when the MacGuffin known officially I think as a Dream Stone became a factor with the trailers, the idea of him being resurrected as a wish by Diana was speculated which was kind of true but there was a catch in that he only came back to Diana but taking over another man’s body.

The movie I think beautifully brings Diana’s childhood lesson taught to her by Aunt Antiope about cheating full circle with the wish she makes to see Steve again. In her defence, Diana did not know what she was doing or that she was actually wishing on a wishing stone, but when she realises the impact that this seemingly innocent wish is having on the world, ultimately she has to wake up to the fact that this is a cheat because Steve is dead but Diana has brought him back in another man’s body...without his consent. Again, NOT DIANA’S FAULT, but she is pseudo-responsible and so can’t win because she cheated. This is a plot point I wish they had developed further or highlighted more because, having seen it twice now in the past 24 hours, that is probably my favourite message of the movie. Cheaters never prosper, not even Wonder Woman or Cheetah.

Steve being introduced to the 1980s was a great chance to reverse the fish out of water story Diana had in the first movie but while hers was one of both wonder and humour, Steve’s was mostly wonder and it was so endearing to see.

I loved how we didn’t take too long on Steve exploring the 80s, I liked how organically it was woven into the ongoing story. We did get that great small touring scene of Diana showing Steve the art and the breakdancing, but that he discovered pop tarts and his wonder in wanting to fly that jet rather than simply get on a plane to travel to Cairo, it was all very well done and that’s mostly on Chris Pine.

I did find the body-snatching a little bit creepy at first and at the very end. We didn’t meet the guy that Steve inhabited (for want of a better word) so I don’t feel strongly positively or negatively about him because we don’t know him, but when we meet him at the end when we somehow flashforward from July to Christmas, I did feel weird that not only did it seem that he and Diana were interested in each other but also the fact it wasn’t even mentioned that he couldn’t remember the time that Steve was in his body.

As I said before when talking about Diana, the blend of the romantic/working relationship between Diana and Steve is (sorry) #relationshipgoals for superhero couplings. I am aware that Steve Trevor isn’t a superhero but neither is Lois Lane but both civilian halves of these superhero couples are very potent in the comics and I have never understood this particular relationship until now.

Steve is as strong a part of the duo as Wonder Woman is because while he doesn’t have her Amazon physiology, he has that core inner strength that he had in the last movie which is why he sacrificed himself originally...now yes he pretty much did the exact same thing here but this was after he was pretty much carrying Diana through that D.C. street and seeing all the chaos that these wishes were causing...genuine anarchy....that Steve knew the only way Diana could regain her strength and save the world was for her to let go of him.

It was the most emotional scene of the movie for me and the only scene to almost make me cry. after crying at the Mandalorian finalé I am not crying at another show or film for a while but still, because not only could you tell both of them didn’t want this to happen but also as Diana pulls herself away from Steve not looking at her as the camera pans away from him you just hear his voice saying “I will always love you Diana, no matter where I am”. There’s never been a more potent portrayal of a superhero couple in my opinion in the movies. Tony and Pepper came close in Avengers: Endgame but this tops it for me.

Do I see Steve returning again? Yes, because I feel when you’re dealing with a property about gods and magic there is always potentiality for anything. I mean this movie is the definition of potentiality for anything because I think if it does succeed then they get away with a lot that other properties wouldn’t, but anyway yes I want Chris Pine to return to this role because I love him in it.

Amazons:

This is another scenario where the advertising lets the audience make up what is in store for us with announcements because announcing that Robin Wright is returning as Antiope after dying at the start of the last movie does raise suspicion.

The obvious solutions were resurrection, vision or flashback and for the majority of Amazon scenes save for one it was all flashbacks which I’m not going to grumble at because I enjoyed that opening scene.

I like how Themyscira basically has their own version of Ninja Warrior and that this scene was most likely set chronologically after Antiope agreed to train her. Which begs the question why her mother was so okay with it considering even as an adult Hippolyta has issues with Diana becoming a warrior but her contribution was so short I let that slide.

I’ve already mentioned how Antiope’s lesson of cheater’s never prosper was utilized so well in this movie but, similarly to Chris Pine, I just love any reason to bring back Robin Wright.

Aside from Hippolyta and Antiope though there was a third minor Amazon focused on in a couple of scenes in this movie, that is the ancient Amazon warrior Asteria.

Asteria was mentioned a couple of times, firstly by Hippolyta in reference to her statue as someone to strive to become and then by Diana to Steve when discussing the origins of her Golden Armor. During this discussion we see a flashback of Asteria in a crouched position being whaled on by Neanderthals protecting the Amazons as they retreated to Themyscira. We only see her eyes and at this point in the movie I thought Asteria was a throwaway character and so Connie Nielson was doing double-time as Hippolyta and Asteria.

However, this proves to be untrue as in the only post-credits scene we get we see Asteria walking down seemingly the same street we left Diana on in Washington, though they never clarify where it is. Furthermore we originally only see the back of her and she is dressed a lot like Diana with the same hair and clothing style. She even effortlessly stops a pillar or lamppost from crashing down.

But it isn’t Diana, at least not the one Gal Gadot is portraying...as it is revealed to be Asteria portrayed by Lynda Carter in a fabulous short, sweet and somewhat cheeky sequence where she states “I’ve been doing this for a long time” with a cheeky wink directly to the camera. I mean she basically echoes lines Diana says in the movie, but the fact it’s OG Wonder Woman and knowing we’re also getting Michael Keaton returning as Batman in the upcoming Flashpoint movie, it’s all just brilliant.

Obviously for fans of the Supergirl series, Lynda Carter had a recurring role on that as Earth-38′s President of the United States who was an alien and I have also seen her in Sky High, but looking at her here she just looks flawless.

Does this mean we’re going to see Asteria in Wonder Woman 3? I can’t wait to find out.

DCEU:

Speaking of the larger DCEU, this movie does absolutely nothing to connect itself to any other DC movie or property. We’re in 1984...Bruce Wayne is 12 so at this point has lost his parents, the original Black Canary is potentially crime-fighting, it’s the year Lex Luthor is born, Clark Kent is living in Smallville, Amanda Waller would just be starting out in the career that would see her become director of ARGUS. There are so many possibilities particularly as we haven’t had a movie set in the 80s within the DCEU before.

This is where DC continues to flounder where Marvel succeeds. They do not grab the opportunities for a cinematic universe expansion and instead keep everything contained. I don’t even think the events of Wonder Woman were mentioned outside of Steve’s death.

Particularly as we now have to wait until August for The Suicide Squad as the next DC movie (outside of the Snyder Cut), it would have been nice either if there would have been a tease to lead into that or even if something in this movie links to the Snyder Cut of Justice League.

Overall I rate this movie a 7/10, it’s a very enjoyable movie if you manage to follow all the threads the plot weaves into this movie, because they’re not seamless.

I’ve actually paid attention to the box office, reviews and CinemaScore for these movies since Birds of Prey and I have to say for being a focussed Wonder Woman movie it is underperforming from the first one with a B+ here as opposed to an A there, but considering Diana’s first outing was in Batman v Superman with a B score, I think the fact both Justice League and this have a B+ bodes well as it averages out with middle of the pack superhero movies, and that’s a good way to describe this movie.

It’s not better than the original, and there are many tangles within it, but it’s not a terrible movie. Again I’ve seen it twice in the last 24 hours and neither time got old for me.

So that’s my review of Wonder Woman 1984, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

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thisislizheather · 3 years

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June Jaunts 2021

July always feels like one big long nap to me. There’s never really anything going on, kids are off school, adults seem to work less, it’s kind of great in that way. Maybe I won’t hate it this year? In any case, here’s what went down in June.

I compiled the best tweets of June over here and here.

I visited and wrote about the new Rockaway Hotel and pool.

I did Nathan’s podcast amidst his hiatus.

I recapped what I did from my spring list and made an upcoming summer to-do list, which I really encourage you to do on your own.

I read and reviewed The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Archor.

I’ve almost finished watching Living Single and seasons one through four are definitely the best ones. Love the episode where Kyle says goodbye to an old jazz venue that gets demolished, such a solid show.

I just saw the latest issue of the LCBO magazine and someone needs to pick me up that dill pickle vodka immediately.

Dying over how good the Strawberry Pound Cake candle smells from Bath & Body Works. Also picked up the Whipped Coffee candle for later this year from their semi-annual sale.

I went on an impromptu day trip to Connecticut.

I met up with Irene in Chinatown so I went early to walk around because man, I love that area.

Above Photo: Chinatown NYC, June 2021

Above Photo: Doyers Street, Chinatown NYC, June 2021

Above Photo: Irene!

Above Photo: Me!

I ate at dell’anima and it was insanely disappointing. It felt like being in a cafeteria at the mall, it’s just a terrible location. I wasn’t expecting much since I knew it was on 11th Avenue, but still. I had no idea it would be so deeply casual (which is upsetting for an NYC restaurant). The food was as average as could be. Also, can we stop with the plastic cups at restaurants? It’s time.

I also stopped by Anfora which is a pleasant little spot, especially before or after dinner.

I went to Daily Provisions and tried their roast beef sandwich and salted caramel brownie and does everywhere just suck this month? And I support Danny Meyer, but he truly is the master of overpricing food. Also - on what planet can a brownie taste bland?? Tell me??

I’m on the lash extension train again (I know, I’m weak) and I just got them done at Lash Princess in the city and they look incredible so I’m definitely going to return.

I rewatched Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding and yep, still great.

Love the stationary/toy store Modern State on the Upper East Side.

I’ve heard about cotton candy grapes for years and have never been able to get ahold of them, but I just found them and whoa! Everything you want them to be and more. Am I bothered by the fact that they’re 1000% modified and MUST be terrible for humans to eat? A bit.

I finally ate the Wednesday sandwich special at Mama’s Too on the Upper West Side and it was pretty incredible. It was a roast beef au jus with horseradish cream on top of their house-made pizza crust. It was a little heavy on the fatty pieces of meat, but once those were taken out, it was insanity to eat. Take a look.

Above Photo: Roast beef au jus with horseradish cream at Mama’s Too, NYC

We saw A Quiet Place 2 in theatres and yes it’s an okay movie but it was too suspenseful for me after not seeing a movie in theatres for so long. I don’t think I want any more suspense in my life

We also watched The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It at home and meh. Patrick Wilson can still get it, though.

Yet another great song off of Olivia Rodrigo’s album.

I finally got a reservation at Forsythia and it was looooovely, I can’t wait to go again. The restaurant itself is beautiful and such a perfect date place, the chairs are gorgeous and comfortable, the service was flawless and the pastas were phenomenal (the garganelli was a standout for sure). And god knows how much I love a place that serves their bread with olive oil as well as butter, WHY DOESN’T EVERY PLACE DO THIS?

I had to try the panzanella salad at L’Artusi and of course it’s great, but it’s also just so genius to put the cheese ON THE BOTTOM of a salad like this one. (Also, I’ll forever support whatever this team wants to do.)

Above Photo: Heirloom Tomato & Burrata Panzanella with Stonefruit, Sourdough, Basil, Yuza, Nigella at L’Artusi, NYC

Above Photo: Bucatini with Pancetta, Tomato, Chiles, Pecorino at L’Artusi, NYC

I tried the new Milk Bar cookies at Whole Foods and they truly taste like the cake truffles at their stores, so watch out.

The two best gelato flavours at il laboratorio del gelato? 1) Peach 2) Ginger. I’m telling you.

I’ve been looking for the perfect navy raincoat for years and I finally found her at J. Crew on sale for $71.

I tried the gelato at Anita Gelato and even though the wild strawberry with ricotta & mascarpone was really good, there’s no way it’s worth waiting in line for twenty minutes.

Above Photo: Wild strawberry with ricotta & mascarpone with a vanilla scoop, Anita Gelato in NYC

A great piece, with great photos on NYC reopening.

I made hash browns at home and does everyone do this already? It’s ridiculously easy and satisfying and I had no idea.

I’ve been on a real orzo bender lately and this tomato one was great. So was this lemon basil one (I added a ton of fresh parmesan and it was nuts).

This sketch is old, but I just saw it for the first time and man it’s great.

The new Halloween trailer is out and I want to love it but can’t we just let some things die?

This Target candle reminds me of Florida vacations and I want to buy ten.

I stupidly ate at Eataly (don’t do it, especially if you live in New York, you should know better) and of course it was bad. What a smart idea to eat at a place called Le Pizza & La Pasta, I’m a moron. Even smarter, I got the steak tartare and it was as bland as the day is long (and look I know I’m a clown for not even ordering pizza OR pasta when it’s in the name). The basil vodka cocktail was pretty good, though.

One thing that Eataly is good for, though, is selling really good dried pastas. I finally tried the brand Afeltra (the pasta as well as their canned tomatoes) and wowza. Definitely will be buying again. Best dried brand I’ve tried so far. Oh! I also bought this Ponti Balsamic Vinegar that tastes like candy, it’s so good. It’s thicker than other balsamics, so maybe it’s more of a finishing vinegar but I highly recommend.

I made these white chocolate apricot scones (and then later that week some white chocolate strawberry scones) and they were phenomenal. I did use cake flour because that’s all I had and I think that might be the reason they tasted so great. Also, it’s a wildly easy recipe to follow incase you’re intimidated by the word “scone.”

Above Photo: White chocolate apricot scone

I started watching the new season of Dave and it’s so well done I could scream (do you remember how good this part was from last season?). Such a good show. I do sort of hate men more by the end of each episode, so I don’t know what that’s about but I think I’m okay with it.

Bought a new nonstick frying pan (the GreenPan) and it’s incredible. Sometimes the answer is new cookware, no matter the question.

Nathan bought a new filtered shower-head and it’s making me excited for every shower now. Just a powerhouse. Feels like I’m at a hotel in there.

Since it’s summer, I’d love to make these summer recipes:

Grilled Caprese Skewers with Halloumi and Sourdough

Pan-Seared Scallops with Chorizo and Corn

BLT Pasta Salad

Summer Coconut Chickpea Curry

Strawberry Crumble Coffee Cake

Some things that I’m looking forward to: I’m not usually into miniseries but Nine Perfect Strangers looks pretty good so I might watch that, we’re going to TWO weddings this month so that will be wonderful, and I really need to get back in a pool so I’m working on that happening.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in May, come on over here.

#June 2021 #June Jaunts 2021 #this is liz heather #Liz Heather #monthly post #monthly roundup #NYC June 2021 #NYC summer 2021

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charmed-henry · 3 years

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Shark Bait Oo Ha Ha | Heric

Previously on Baywatch...

Baby There’s a Shark in the Water

Date: 20 May 2021 TW: None, other than some discussion of the attack

@maritimeericandersen

Henry and Eric make a plan.

HENRY

If only Eric were here. That was what Henry kept thinking throughout the attack. Eric would know what to do. And a part of Henry resented that, just a little bit, because this was such a clear example of why the Order needed him… but there was no time to dwell on that. People were avoiding the lake, sure, but they wouldn’t forever. Even with this creature undoubtedly lurking below the surface. Henry needed Eric on this, and fast.

Henry texted Eric to meet him by the gryphon statue after his last class, and he was relieved when Eric did show up. He didn’t waste any time with pleasantries. “You heard about what happened, right?”

ERIC

Eric had not heard anything, actually. Like a man avoiding spoilers of the world cup he had gotten through without hearing a word about what had happened up at the lake. It hadn’t reached him during work or class or while he was walking around campus— probably due to his thick skull and lack of his own surroundings.

So he didn’t really think anything of it when Henry texted. It seemed like a normal enough message with nothing to kick up a fuss about. He walked down from his dorm ten minutes from when Henry said he’d be finished and stood beside the statue, thankful for the sun despite the breeze that still held a chill. Eric looked up periodically from his phone and when Henry finally appeared he smiled, only for it to turn into a confused frown at Henry’s opener.

“Er— no?” He shook his head, shifting his stance to a more alert position. What happened could have meant anything, good or bad. “What’d’ya mean?”

HENRY

Henry groaned. He knew Eric was taking a break from the Order, and Henry respected that, in a sense, but to not have heard anything at all? What could possibly be so all-consuming in his life that--

Never mind. Henry knew it was the same sort of thing he used to get in trouble for during training, and part of how they became friends. Being daydreamers. What was important right now was to catch Eric up, not berate him.

“At the lake. Candace was attacked. By some sort of sea creature. She’s, er-- she’s okay now, but we didn’t catch the creature that did it, and it might still be lurking there. Waiting for its next victim. I need your help, Eric. I know you’ve… stepped back from the Order, but this sort of thing is exactly why I’ve been sent here. And I need your help,” Henry explained, desperation shining in his eyes. “We need to find out what that was. Until we do, the lake won’t be safe for anyone.”

ERIC

Now that was not what he had been expecting to come out of Henry’s mouth. At best, that he had proposed to his bird or something, at worst, that the Order had found out he was alive and was coming to actually kill him.

But an actual ocean dweller? Here? In Swynlake? Eric knew he had come looking for answers, for a mermaid to give those to him, but he hadn’t actually been counting on finding one this far inland— let alone one bold enough to attack. They had to have known it would put a target on their back.

“I’m glad she’s okay— thanks to you, I presume.” (Even though Henry had said we, but he was taking that to mean a general term for the people of Swynlake, not any one specific person.) He let out a breath, a hand coming up to brush over his mouth as he took a moment to think.

“Of course, of course, yeah. Anything you need, mate.” Eric hadn’t done this in well over a year but he couldn’t imagine denying Henry. And this was the opportunity he had been looking for when he came here. If he could just talk to this thing, maybe all of this will have been worth it. “Did you get a look at it? Or Candace— did it try to drown her or was there an actual wound?”

HENRY

Henry let out a sigh of relief. Even though he trusted Eric to have his back, sometimes he just felt like he didn’t know what Eric would do anymore. He had a whole life here, new friends and school and a new purpose-- and Henry did, too, in some ways, but at least he stayed on the lookout for opportunities to prove himself to the Order. He wasn’t sure if Eric cared as much as he did.

But no matter what, they would always be like brothers. And they would always be there for each other. Henry was sure of that, and he felt a bit silly for doubting.

Then he remembered the scene and winced. It was painful to relive, to be honest. “Er… yes, it bit her in the leg. Seemed to be trying to drag her underwater, but Rose and I were able to fight it off.” Wait. Did Eric know about Rose? Was it okay to tell him about the Huntsclan? “She’s okay now. Got her in an ambulance right away and it ended up being not too deep of a wound. But I worry about what would happen if we hadn’t been there. And the lifeguard was absolutely useless.”

ERIC

Eric did not know about Rose, but Eric also didn’t know that Rose knew about them. Within the context of Henry’s story, he assumed she was just there willing to help out a friend in some serious distress and paid that detail little to no mind. He nodded along, eyebrows raising briefly at the mention of the lifeguard and huffed— sounded about right. Wasn’t like a magic friendly place like this was going to think to train their staff on things like this. They would just issue an apology after the fact and move on.

“Then we’re probably not dealing with a siren.” They let their voice and the victim themselves do all the heavy lifting. It felt odd to be back in this mindset. He had not thought about hunting or training in well over a year and he didn’t know what it meant by how easy it was to return to this part of him. Eric hadn’t expected that it would have left him so quickly, it had been apart of his life longer than it hadn’t been, but still. Would he even be able to carve it out? Or would it always be there whether he wanted it or not?

“What about its flukes? Did you get a look at ‘em? Were they pointed like a fork, rounded, or erm— shaped kinda like a crescent moon?” He drew the shapes in the air with an index finger. It mattered to figure out if they were dealing with something that was shaped for speed or for marathon swimming.

HENRY

Henry wished he had a better recollection of the scene as it had happened, but the whole thing was something of a blur. What had mattered the most was getting Candace to safety. This was why it was better to work with a team, Henry thought. Rose was there, of course, but she had been busy helping Candace. Once again, Henry wished Eric had been there…

But it was too late for that. Henry would just have to try and remember. “Er, it was a sort of pointed tail, two fins on the end, dark gray. Sort of tough-looking, like a shark, not the sort of shiny scales you would see on a siren. Does that help at all?” Henry looked at Eric hopefully.

ERIC

He nodded absently as he continued to think over the next course of action, but stopped when he caught sight of Henry’s expression. Eric reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze. “Hey, it was a high stakes situation. I’m just glad you managed to make it out of there, let alone remember what the bloody thing looked like. And you saved your friend before it could do any lasting damage. You did good, Henry.”

Eric gave Henry’s shoulder a gentle shake before releasing him. “Any little detail helps. Like you said, from the sounds of it we’re probably dealing with one that comes from a deeper part of the waters. It’ll make it harder to spot, and if it’s built for speed a paddle boat won’t cut it.”

They were going to be out favored going in if they took it on in the water. (On land was a different story, but the problem with that was identifying the slippery bastards while they pretended to be human.) “We’ll have to create a trap and draw it out again somehow. Hopefully it’ll come back to the water— assuming it ever left.”

HENRY

This was the thing that Henry struggled with. Especially hearing it from Eric, seeing that encouraging look in his eyes, feeling the reassurance of Eric’s hand on his shoulder. Henry wouldn’t dare admit any kind of weakness to anyone in the Order… except Eric. So he wanted to take what Eric said at face value, to nod and smile and agree with him. But those images haunted Henry.

So he just nodded grimly instead, looking down at his hands. Better to push all of that emotion down, because Henry worried if he started to say something genuine, it would overpower him. Focus on the mission. Focus on the threat. Henry wasn’t going to let this happen again.

“A trap…” Henry repeated, trying to imagine what Eric meant. “With some sort of food? Or something else? I’m not using Candace as bait--” he added quickly, determined. “I’m not going to let anyone else get hurt. We’ll handle this the old-fashioned way, you and me. And maybe Rose, too, she knows what we’re dealing with.”

ERIC

“Jesus, Henry, what do you think I am? Some kind of lunatic? No, we aren’t going to use some poor girl as bait.” Eric scoffed, shaking his head like Henry had gone completely barking. Then he added, like it was obvious,“We’ll use me.”

This time Eric caught on to Henry talking about Rose because erm— what? He let out a little huff of laughter, eyebrows coming together briefly as he gave Henry a look.

“I don’t understand. Why would that matter?” A hand came up to scratch the back of his head before something dawned on him. The hand raked forward through his hair, moving to point at Henry when he pulled it back down. “I thought your girlfriend’s name was Ashleigh? Ginger, right? Or is that Candace? Or have they both—? Wait, I’m sorry, who’s Rose then? Are you—?”

Eric’s eyes widened and he looked around them to make sure no one was close enough to be listening in (you know, now that the conversation was important to keep a secret) before lowering his voice and leaning forward. “Did you call it off? Or no? No judgement, I just never thought— I mean you were just so infatuated with erm— it was Ashleigh, wasn’t it?”

HENRY

Henry was snapped out of his pensive funk by three ludicrous things that Eric had just said. One, that Eric intended to use himself as bait (??); two, that Ashleigh and Henry had broken up (???); and three, that Henry and Rose were somehow a couple? (????????). Henry stared at Eric in horror, not even sure where to begin.

“What? Eric, no-- I-- that’s-- just, no. Ashleigh and I are still together. And I really wouldn’t want to get her involved in this, it’s too dangerous. Rose is just a friend, she’s been working with the Order here in Swynlake. She’s part of a certain, er, sort of version of the Order from the States. And she’s a very good hunter, that’s the reason I suggested bringing her with us. Candace is-- never mind. Long story.” It would be too complicated to explain what was going on between Henry and Candace right now, considering Henry didn’t even really know where they stood.

He shook his head. “Anyway, if it’s alright with you, I think Rose should join us. But back to what you said, you want to use yourself as bait? Haven’t you had enough near-death experiences?”

ERIC

Eric stared back at Henry with a very dumbfounded look on his face as all of that explanation unfolded. He didn’t know which one was more bizarre, that the yanks had once again stolen from them or that they’d let women train with them— not because Eric had anything against it, but the Order was still being fuddy duddies about that. Also what was she here for if she was from America? Wasn’t that place like the wild west? Filled to the brim with Magicks that needed to be taken care of?

“My bad. Sorry. Too many names to keep track of.” He blinked, frowning slightly to himself before shrugging it off. Well at least Henry wasn’t stepping out on his girlfriend. Eric had always thought him to be loyal so that version of Henry would have completely dismantled his perception of him. “If you trust her that’s good enough for me, mate. Just uh— make sure she’s on the page, yeah? About me and the whole I’m-not-actually-dead-but-don’t-tell-the-others-that.”

Clearing his throat, and moving away from the topic of social drama he had no idea would turn out to be a minefield before stepping into it, Eric nodded. “It has to be me. I’m the one with the most experience with these sorts of things. And you’ll be there, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.”

HENRY

Henry gulped. Eric, like many members of the Order, tended to walk a line between “honorably brave” and “completely reckless.” He had a feeling that, if he were in Eric’s position, if this were Henry’s expertise, he would probably suggest the same thing.

“Fine,” Henry said grimly, recognizing that this was one of those situations training had prepared him for when he needed to do the dangerous thing. It would just have to be worth it. He would be there for backup after all, wouldn’t he? “I suppose you’re the expert here. Just tell me what you need me to do. As for Rose… I think if I explain the situation to her, she’ll keep it quiet. I’ve never mentioned you to her before, but I don’t know if the others have. So it’s probably best to come up with a cover story. Unless, of course, you’d prefer that I just leave out the fact that you were ever in the Order. Up to you.”

Honestly, Henry hated this. The secrecy and the lying. He still felt guilty about not telling the older guys about Eric. Being in the Order meant constant secrecy, but you were supposed to be completely honest and trusting with your fellow Princes. But Henry needed to protect Eric by any means necessary. So if this was what it took, fine. Didn’t mean Henry wasn’t a little annoyed about it, though.

ERIC

Eric, too, was tired of all the lying and sneaking around. The phone Ollie had given him was a blessing but also a curse considering how easy it was to go scrolling along social media. The amount of times he’d almost accidentally liked something or hit the wrong thing when he fumbled the phone was one too many. Imagine the panic Grim would go through seeing a notification that Eric had liked his most recent post.

“No, that’d just make her wonder why you got me involved besides feeding me to it. Plus, if we’re going to do this together, can’t go in first thing lying to her. Then she wouldn’t care for what I had to say. No, we’ll just tell her the truth. I’m Eric, I faked my death for reasons, and no one can know I’m alive. Or in Swynlake.” He shrugged, thinking it wasn’t that big of a deal since he and Henry had been doing it for months now. Again, if Henry trusted this girl and gave her his good word then Eric figured it would be fine. “I seriously doubt they’ve talked about me. It’s been well over a year— old news.”

He rubbed his finger under his lower lip as he tried to think of what supplies they needed versus what they could realistically scrounge up. “Alright, I’ll work on getting a net big enough for this and can probably take whatever meat the market’s throwing away for bait. In the meantime, you get together whatever weapons you’re comfortable using and a bloody good light for this. Oh and— clear your night time schedule. There’s no telling when or if this thing’ll be back in the water anytime soon.”

HENRY

Henry wondered if maybe they should have gotten Tom involved. He knew about sea creatures, and Henry was a little less worried about him getting seriously endangered by this sort of thing. Not that Henry trusted Eric any less, of course, but the fact remained that Eric had almost died once. Henry still got worried about losing him again. Tom seemed older, more sure of himself.

But getting Tom involved meant getting everyone else in the Order involved. Exposing Eric’s identity. And, truthfully, part of the reason Henry was involving Eric in this was because he hoped it might remind Eric why being in the Order was worth it. Maybe he would come back on his own, reveal himself to the other guys and rejoin the Order. But in order for that to happen, Henry had to let him stay in hiding for now.

“Right,” Henry said seriously. “I’ll tell Rose as much as she needs to know and we’ll work on getting some weapons together. She’s really good with a knife, I’ll tell you that… When are we doing this? I have a SDG concert this weekend, and Ashleigh and I like to go out to dinner at least once a week, but other than that, I’m free.”

ERIC

He scratched at his temple, one foot kicking out to lean his weight against while he listened to Charming go on about concerts and dates. It almost made him want to give a random day and then go off and do this on his own. Not because he was annoyed with Henry having a life but because Henry had a life and people and things to look forward to. What Eric wanted to do (capture this thing, not kill on sight) wasn't the safest bet or their protocall. If things didn’t go the way he wanted well— he was already dead.

But he wouldn’t do that to Henry. After all, he had come to Eric with this and not the three greatest Prince’s the Order had as he knew that this could be an opportunity for Eric to get the answers he had been searching for. It would feel like a bigger betrayal than having pretended to be lost at sea. He would just have to make sure that he had Henry’s back just as much as Henry had his.

Eric smiled, nodding when Henry had finished. “Yeah, alright, Mr. Popular. We’ll schedule around you then. Whenever you haven’t got something going on, we’ll go stake out the lake to see if it’s out there. In the meantime, just be on the lookout for anyone exhibiting the signs. Now that there’s confirmation one’s here— could be anyone.”

#shark attack #shark bait oo ha ha #eric

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riotatthemovies · 4 years

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Super Force (1990 TV series)

In the year 2020 Astronaut Zach Stone returns to earth from the first mission to Mars. When he returns he finds his older brother who was a cop has been murdered after being framed by a corrupt billion dollar company that secretly runs the police force. Stone decides he will become a cop but when he finds the system is too corrupt or filled with soulless pay cheque worshiping goons he also takes up a night person as Superforce. Wearing a Robocop meets Power Rangers outfit and riding a suped up motorcycle that would make Cyclone jealous. Tech made by his friends Larry B Scott and talking computer Patrick Macnee (badly animated since they could afford to have Macnee around enough). Randomly making up new powers like his super nightstick and his electro force field. Made to air after the Superboy tv series of the time with costumes designed by the same guy that worked on the 90s Flash tv series this show covered every 90s superhero stereotype visually and contextually. Obviously suffering from budget cuts mean that some scenes jumped pretty hard as not much of the show flowed well. Random ascetic changes from dry sci fi to psychedelic 60s like super hero antics switching to Tim Burton twisted picket fences back to noir burnt out ugly future city wastelands. The issue with super hero 90s story telling is no one knew what style to keep it in , since the comic book makers all so had so many styles then the TV and film makers tried to homage them all at once.

Even if you never saw an episode of this before you will feel like you did as it does so many low budget 90s things that shows like Flash or even sci fis like Trancers did with future fashion choices only the 90s could design. The female police offers wear skirts so short and sports jackets with shoulder pads so big. The outfits that the star Ken Olandt wears along make him look like a cross between the Mask and the Griswalds when they go shopping in France in National Lampoons European Vacation. I wont go much on spoilers as the 2 hr pilot is online and I will link it on facebook and some of my social medias but the evil head of the corporations is an old white man being in a future wear Asian currency is in control so he is now somehow Asian as well. A sort of a Fu Manchu kinda thing. The villain is played by G Gordon Libby , yes the FBI agent from the Watergate scandal turned actor. As the series goes on the Supercop called Superforce would battle people like Lou Ferrigno , ex porn star Ginger Lynn Allen, LSD cult psychologist Timothy Leary and WCW wrestler STING.

Expect me to rant about this on a future podcast as its this weeks timely obsession just like my obsession with Baywatch Nights recently. A future of bad style and corporate control of our police, pretty spot on except we never got to mars and our shoulder pads are not as big as Beat Arthurs... other than that this show wasn't too far off. Also the present day has let prove that some bad guys are or are not secretly robots.. oh spoiler for the pilot wwwhhoops

Here is the first 4 episodes edited together as a full length movie ripped from a 1990 vhs tape... watch if you dare to live this 90s fever dream .

youtube

#super force #2020 #bmovie #b tv #bad tv #bad movies #90s #nostalgia #super cops

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jenetica · 3 years

Text

Baywatch Chapter 12: The Condensed Version

Here is a summary of the contents of Chapter 12, with minimal reference to any graphic or violent descriptions. I won't lie, this is a pretty cut-and-dry synopsis, without much flavor, but it will provide you with the key details you need to skip Chapter 12 without feeling like you've missed a whole episode. Ever read a Wikipedia plot summary of a horror movie, instead of watching the movie itself? This is that. Cool? Cool. Let's go.

Melissa awakes in a foreign, musty room with no memories of what brought her there. She discovers that she has a concussion from what feels like a blow to the back of the head, but her skin has not been broken. Taking stock of herself, she learns that all of her possessions have been removed, save for her clothes and her hair tie. The room is large, with a filthy, blood-stained cot in one corner, and a toilet with a fresh roll of toilet paper at another. The windows are near the ceiling, too high for her to reach, leading Melissa to believe that she is in a basement of some sort.

After nightfall, she is brought dinner by an unassuming, beige-clad man who calls himself Ralph. Dinner is a ham sandwich with mustard, plus a paper cup of water. Melissa rations her food to preserve it, in case she does not get more, and tries to keep her panic at bay. Though she realizes the hopelessness of her situation, thinking hard about either plans or her emotions worsens the concussion. For this reason, thoughts of the pack are agonizing.

Melissa decides that she must find a weapon of some sort using whatever supplies she has. She realizes that the underwire of her bra, though delicate, is her best option. She uses her teeth to tear at the lining of her bra, then removes the aluminum underwire from one cup. She uses the grout from the toilet as a sandstone to sharpen both ends of the underwire into angled, sharpened blades.

Believing that the pack will eventually find her and rescue her, Melissa bides her time. After a week her concussion subsides. She begins working out and developing a daily routine to give herself structure. Thinking of the pack eventually becomes easier as her panic settles into desolation. She hopes that Scott is learning to live without her, in the event that she dies.

Thoughts of Stiles remain difficult, as Melissa realizes that each day that passes in her cell is another day that she loses with him. One week becomes two, and Melissa's fantasies of him morph from being primarily sexual to becoming domestic. She longs for the happy routine of a life together, which she reluctantly accepts could never happen, even if she were home.

The routine in the room is consistent: Someone (one of five people Melissa has met thus far) will bring her a ham sandwich and water with mustard before dawn, and after dusk. She uses these opportunities to ask questions and learn more about her circumstances. She learns that her captors have taken her because she is "beloved," and that she is collateral for some negotiation. She also learns that her captors are new to town and looking to settle there, and that she is somehow important for that goal.

Melissa is able to see the moon out of the high windows in the room. When she first arrived, it was half full and waning, but she has been in the cell so long, it is approaching fullness again. Melissa finds herself looking forward to that night, hoping that it will be the night the pack finally finds her. In preparation for their arrival, she saves her breakfast sandwich and eats both it and her dinner sandwich after dusk. She uses the sharpened underwire to prick her fingertips, which she slaps on one of the windows to make a scent-heavy signal for the werewolves to track.

Shortly thereafter, Ralph comes into the room and notices the handprint on the window immediately. He becomes manic and grabs for Melissa, angry at her for ruining the plan, and she realizes that her captors are vampires. Scared that the blood on the window will incite Ralph to feed on her, she withdraws the sharpened underwire from her pocket and uses it to disable Ralph, leaving him technically alive but unable to move. She searches Ralph's pockets and finds the keys to her cell, a wallet, and a flip phone. She calls Derek, wasting no time to tell him that she is kidnapped and doesn't have much time. She locates an ID in Ralph's wallet and provides the address to Derek. She takes Ralph's belt to use as a noose.

She prepares for more battle while she waits, anticipating that someone will come to find Ralph when he does not return from her room. She is correct. Another vampire, Jonathan, comes into the room five minutes later. As soon as the door opens, Melissa looses her hair tie across the room to hit the opposite wall, drawing Jonathan's attention to Ralph. When his back is turned, she leaps up and uses both the noose and the underwire to take him down. After she does, she hears howling from the distance: Her pack has arrived.

She waits in her room while the pack dispatches the remaining vampires in the room above, sure that she would be a liability in that fight more than an aid. Derek shouts that she's in the basement, and someone comes downstairs. Melissa uses Ralph's keys to unlock the doors and finds Stiles on the other side. They have a desperate, teary reunion wherein Melissa expresses her disbelief that they actually came, and Stiles confesses that he will always rescue her. Derek joins them, emotionally distraught, as do Erica, Isaac, Boyd, and Allison. They cluster on the floor, crying, until Scott finally comes downstairs. Melissa abandons the group to fling herself at Scott, more shaken and relieved than before. Scott tells her that they'd been searching for days with no results, and Derek reveals that they were using witchcraft to block Melissa's scent.

The pack realizes Melissa is covered in blood, and Stiles panics that it's hers, and that she has been bitten (and thus turned) by the vampires. She places her hands on his cheeks and soothes him, telling him that she wasn't bitten. Grateful, he kisses her palm. Scott witnesses the kiss and draws back, confused and suspicious. Derek refocuses Melissa on the blood, and she takes him to her cell. The members of the pack are impressed that she was able to take down two vampires, but without her survival instincts in play, Melissa is horrified by what she's done. The more she looks at the scene, the more overwhelmed she becomes, until she blacks out.

#what the hell is this baywatch?#ao3 #idk do i really even need tags for this? it's pretty niche

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sugar-petals · 5 years

Text

Your First Time With Yoongi

warnings ⚠️ femdom!reader, bondage, slapping, masturbation, name-calling, cunnilingus, wow yoongi gets NASTY

word count: 2.6k | hc

↳ ♡ NOTE › for anon who also inspired the ‘first kiss with yoongi’ post. look what you’ve done. writing this made me lose my cool. let’s dive right into it.

you’ll probably be fooling around watching miscellaneous videos from your feed

and sorting through some clothes for the upcoming friday dinner

at the cozy italian restaurant next door

when you see yoongi come home looking, maybe not concerned, but more lost in thought

it takes a day or more until you ask him about it

brooding yoongi always means he’s weighing the big decisions

that you already know

but how it could possibly be something sexual you didn’t expect at first

because the only thing he says is that your second monthiversary is coming up this sunday

you reply yoongi that’s such a funny term

he says yeah it just made him think

it takes another day until you realize that he’s been unobtrusive letting you read between the lines how you see fit

and make that decision vice versa

it is about time to bring the relationship to a next level

yoongi sees the way you look at him

the last few weeks were proof enough he was worth giving it a go. you both knew what you were in for

as of now, you did make out a little at hoseok’s last halloween party (yoongi was in such a cute ghost costume). and kissed a whole lot during your vacation in london all lovey-dovey. but you didn’t have a chat

so you nudge him at breakfast. what about friday?

after going out, you’ll have a whole evening to talk things over at home. no stress no pressure

agreed says your boyfriend

friday comes, you get a nice spot at giorgio’s rooftop terrace restaurant

literally it’s perfect to set the tone, the night sky is clear

after splitting the bill on antipasti for you and chili pepper pizza for yoongi the mood is right for some intimate talk and there’s no wine needed

but not in front of giorgio’s other guests alright

you return home flirting

to sit in your tiny courtyard garden with the fairy lights on

as long as no mosquitoes show up you have a long and frank conversation with a lot of surprising turns...

monthiversary sex on sunday it is

three cheers on that!

yoongi is giddy all saturday long and takes ten minutes more in the bathroom than usual, and five more in the shower

as if he isn’t dapper and groomed already

sunday afternoon, you do feel your hands getting a little sweaty yourself

the time has come

this will be exciting

you both prepare the living room for the evening, equip the center table with everything needed, eat some light snacks and drink plenty of water beforehand

the sun sets boom a leonardo dicaprio dvd goes right into the player

you’re both comfy on the sofa, intertwined, it’s fucking cute

you feed yoongi some more pretzel sticks

he makes you laugh

and nuzzles into the nape of your neck cuz cat behavior

the atmosphere slowly changes when the movie does

with leo getting all frisky and sweaty on screen, yoongi’s hands also begin to fumble at your hips, your skirt

and eventually

with you just murmuring just enough hot ideas in his ears

slip down to spend their time caressing between your legs

yep yep

the party is getting started

his hands are only shaky until they find the right spot.

a pianist is merely on edge until he hits his favorite key indeed. and yoongi is that pianist.

you can tell by his movements how he considers you music. now let that sink in

you’re his favorite tune

RIP panties. those huge bony fingers know how to soak them

phew

they have endurance, too

you already know that this will be a passionate night

leo goes through twenty character arcs on screen while yoongi is still flicking those tips

really. getting. into it. stimulating you with one, two, three fingers at once, curling, rubbing, stroking, dipping

miss clit says thank you

no finger cramps in sight with mister ‘miraculous’ min yoongi

meanwhile, poor leo falls victim to the pause button

you repeat the safeword to each other

‘two’

(because second monthiversary ok)

and here we go

flustered yoongi sits up, you pulling that FG shirt off, him then leaning against the backrest of the couch with legs splayed laxly

you climbing on top face to face

hot hot hot

yoongi wants restraints, he said. restraints he gets. a dozen feet of loose hemp rope are waiting on the table already.

you bind his hands before the chest, mainly knotting the rope around the wrists with an extra simple tie that keeps it foolproof.

you do have safety shears on the table also

it took some time to remember the knot but it was some interesting stuff to learn

and... we’re talking yoongi’s sexy hands

what won’t you do just to see them tied fuck yes

a kiss follows

long, deep, and increasingly lewd

only interrupted by you taking off your top and panties. the skirt stays on although it’s getting a little shoved up

yoongi remains seated as he is, starstruck as hell cuz your body has him fucked up

in the meantime you turn around to press your ass right against yoongi’s crotch

with a some more audacity right there

not taking any chances beyond this point

the poor guy

steady ruts and gyrating are sure to fry his brain with you taking all the time in the world to rub your core all over his growing boner

the skirt only provides more friction to the whole game

“you’re so cruel, please, oh my god”

someone’s worried he blows his load way too early

well oops

“take it. lil’ sucker”

you gaze back over your shoulder. sweet, suffering yoongi has his eyes closed and bites right down on his lip.

he looks more concentrated than when he produces something in the studio i’m telling you

with your every push and rub, the tent in his blue shorts gets more upright, the fabric even more tense

and his voice whinier

and your pussy much wetter

that’ll be quite a bit of laundry tomorrow

with every new grind you realize

better have mercy and slip a condom on before he does cum in his pants

regardless you decide that your new favorite hobby is to tease the living hell out of him

by just how stiff he really is you can tell there are in fact two people enjoying that

holy shit when you get his pants off there’s a sight to behold

honey boy loves the cruel girls

it’s no secret yoongi is a fan of all things technology but damn he really is a master with the electric razor those are some pube gardening skills on fire

and he smells so good

and that juicy dick

is just one of a kind

UGH

the lube that’s been waiting on the couch table... will have to keep waiting forever

hallelujah you’re dripping

“that’s... not going to be a long ride, yoongi”

“i, i know”

(just how much of a han solo is he!)

“should we wait for a minute?”

“probably better”

the boy gets the best of you it seems

oh, sweet horniness.

a two minute TLC break gets the racing pulse down and the suspense up

admittedly just cuddly stuff with yoongi doesn’t make it any better

he. really. smells. so. good.

sandalwood, jasmine, something herbal, whatever it is, that mix makes your mind implode

“yoongi. i want you.”

so bad.

just seeing him with his big dark teddy eyes and bound hands is kind of a fucking lot to take in okay

not to mention his voice just getting that extra deep edge when he tells you he wants you too

FUCK

the two minutes are so hard to bear, you just want to get going and ride him and hear all those slutty moans

and corrupt his every inch

as per friday evening you know yoongi doesn’t plan to fall short on the vocal department whatsoever and who can blame him. his raspy baritone is a surefire way to make your thighs tremble

and by virtue of profession, rappers aren’t known for staying silent when it comes to issues they’re passionate about aren’t they

rolling down the rubber you grabbed from the table is challenging enough because good heavens you’re touching him this way for the first time it’s just hard to believe and hard to the touch

his breath accelerates big time

you’re careful but also firm enough to ground him

“ok, shall we?”

yoongi’s desperate hum in reply comes with two quick nods

slow, slow, slow, take it slow you say to yourself

but your wetness doesn’t lie.

yoongi’s piano hands were like an open sesame to your walls

they went pop

let’s get down to business bring that cock

you crave that filling BAD

when you align and slip him in with one not so steady hand cuz jesus christ you’re completely high-strung

those teddy eyes are on you like big brother

because yoongi monitors hard for any discomfort you might have

he probably realizes that he’s not a desert-dry 9:50 PM tampon on the fifth period day when the backsides of your thighs cushion down on his loins

WHEW, THAT SLIP

better than any conditioner out there

he’s in

it stuffs you so well, you can’t help but moan out

yoongi’s hypervigilance still hasn’t entirely faded though

“is that okay, does it hurt? is it—”

“shush, bun. watch.” testing, you give yoongi a good first bounce, far up and down, that baywatch slow motion... mother of god, your labia have a sweet time stretching around him. “it’s very okay.”

“a-alright,” he says

oh god yeah

another bounce on that. it’s already an addictive feeling

that’s what yoongi meant by ‘seesaw’

you rest your hands on his shoulders — and they’re made for that, i mean they’re just that broad — and really feel into how he glides in so nicely

with a slick and noisy plunge

gotta make sure to really savor all of those facial expressions from him ‘cause they’re pretty damn intense you have to give him that. never did you even fathom how his eyebrows could just escalate like this

yoonaerys targaryen!

that cock’s too good

so sleek. and comfortable

advantages of having a perky lil dick

he fills out your walls so perfectly

this is getting so heated, watching his body become so twitchy, his tied hands

with all those red blotches at his neck.

it doesn’t take many more movements, no matter how playful the edge

that you have to pull off and enter phase 2 of TLC breaks with yoongi’s dick resting against his stomach all sensitive

this time you french kiss

that’s how you know yoongi is not just a sucker. he’s a sucker

obsessed with nibbling at your lips and guzzling your saliva like wtf that’s not a break yoongi that’s making your girlfriend cum like new year’s eve fireworks

are all daegu boys freaky like that what is in the groundwater there?

you have to stop his hungry mouth and take a long damn breath

why is yoongi such a sex bomb

though what’s not to love about it

seriously you can’t take it much longer and he sees that

“you wanna use your fingers, babe?”

“if you allow me,” he licks his lips, which means adding fuel to the fire, he can’t help it.

“say please.”

“please.”

you start to fiddle with the rope knots

yoonaerys targaryen soon has free hands

rope marks suit him so well, that shit just turns you on even more

time to switch it up then the final is around the corner

changing spots on the sofa, you recline, legs apart

yoongi slowly rubs you off with his flat palm to keep the pressure light

and not to overstrain his wrists too soon

then comes the infamous naughty tongue lowering down to your pelvis... nipping, swift and staccato. you have rightfully dreaded this moment because geez he hooks you on it

next comes

the tip of his cock. i know right, good grief. guided by keen hands, rubbed against your clit, patting it, poking it, glazing it until it’s all coated all wet and pulsing like mad, what the fuck yoongi

he makes you completely swollen

and repeat

it’s a triple t(h)reat technique adapted straight from the realms of fiery hell

palm, tongue, cock rubbing against you. palm, tongue, cock. palm, tongue, cock.

YOONGI HAS YOU SCREAMING AND WINDING

that demonic trick is guaranteed not to go on for very long

point of no return says hiya, i’m here to mess you up girl

next turn his curling tongue comes to visit and dips between your labia

you can’t hold back anymore

and blow up in his face

whatever control there has been in your legs has now shut down entirely

yoongi has to deal with the full dose of slowly oozing jizz cuz boy he just buries his face even deeper once he sees the contractions starting

at this point he has solidified his sucker reputation

mister miraculous min just keeps eating and slurping while you cum your soul out. the pleasure is like a current taking over

making you curse

until you’re running of breath

with ‘point of no return’ handing the baton to ‘dizzy overstimulation’ you pull yoongi’s head out from between your thighs by the hair

yoongi kneels before you ruined

man... his face is dripping

he even got cum in his lashes

“shit, yoongi!”

“please. punish, i want, i, please”

seldom that yoongi’s rapper mind says sorry i’m out like that

looking back it makes sense. who orders a flaming chili pepper pizza for date night but a grade a masochist

cue friday evening protocol

you fumble off the very slippery condom and grip his cock by the base. hard.

with your other hand just in reach of his face

in comes a ringing slap to his right cheek

“a—ah, ah! more!”

slut yoongi is back in town and his cock really has to stay strong

because holy hell you jerk him off fast

getting greedy and erratic

yoongi cries out his orgasm with a whole white milky mess landing on his stomach, his thighs, your hand, your skirt, who knows he might have shot a constellation into the sky if it wasn’t for the ceiling

with the last drops gushing out, a giant fatigue pulls the plug on him

oh man

his hair goes in all directions. his face is slapped red, his wrists are marked, he came all over himself.

100% sex wreck

you can barely keep yourself steady either

but you can at least reach for the soon-to-be-dirty-laundry towel on the table

and clean up your salivating puffy teddy

only to pull him close to you

two fucks covered in sweat all slack on the sofa, worn out

but happy

yoongi keeps on babbling and breathing hard

seeking out closeness to your belly

you let him lie down his head on there

time to pull a blanket over the two of you right there once everything cools down

yoongi gazes up at you a bit cheeky even if he’s super tired

“kinda know what you’re thinking”

“that’s what a monthiversary has to be like”

“nothing to add”

“except: repeat tomorrow”

wrapping up the weekend all sloppy is a good luck charm for monday

“my bad. of course”

“you’re just amazing, you know that.”

“i was gonna say that to you”

safe to say that guy has your heart

“so... same time, same place, different movie?”

“sure babe i’m in”

while you both doze off, intertwined just as before

you can’t help but think

man that was life-changing

#bts smut #bts headcanons #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts #yoongi headcanons #yoongi first time #long post

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