#bc i do really really really love saint :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuckinapril · 10 months

Note

about unconditional love; sometimes i have to remind myself how lucky i am to have my best friend of 10+ years. consistent communication throughout that time, even with long distance after they moved 2 years later. we love each other very deeply, and if its not unconditional, then i dont know what is. i have rocky relationships with my parents, and their love does not feel safe, so having my best friend and meeting them at a young age (middle school) was definitely the universe throwing me a bone lol. and we didn’t realize when we first met just how important we would end up being to each other. but now we just see each other and know each other so intimately. ive learned so much about myself and navigating relationships because of our friendship. even when we disagree, its hard to take it personal because we have this mutual understanding that we are both operating from a place of true love for one another. i truly wish you and everyone gets to experience a love like this someday. its amazing. and it exists!

so very happy for you anon !! i do really hope i get to experience something similar to this one day

#i think i’m finally at a point where i do have a couple of healthy friendships in my life #i fully intend on cherishing those viciously #and it would also be fair to acknowledge my part in this repeating pattern. bc i do play a part #but yeah this is literally everything i could hope for truly. to me unconditional love isn’t liberally accepting toxicity from each other #it’s acknowledging flaws & trying to work through them anyway #i am no saint whatsoever but i do feel like i’ve run into so many relationships where the grace given was not equal #and my unconditional love fantasy always had to do w friendships more than it ever did relationships :’)#one day ! manifesting #this really is so very sweet & gives me hope <3 #ask

39 notes · View notes

averlym · 1 year

Note

HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical

:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf

have a doodle of the saints :3

#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly #adamandi #ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it #i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh #the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice #also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real #also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me #giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day #internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O #anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane #on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery #side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i #the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all #between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio #but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal #life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you #appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah

30 notes · View notes

skuntank · 2 days

Text

Aware that my interpretation of Diantha keeps getting a little meaner over time and I want to do something abt that. It is 1000% to do with my own self-perception shit and I realize that but even if she struggles, and has weird emotional problems like I do, and has been built up to be a very complex character in my head, I do not want to see her as a mean person bc she isn't.

#its probably not super evident to others but its very evident to me that she feels like shes getting meaner #i think she def has a mean side to her but like we all do.#i see her as one of those sorts of peoples that struggles with her meaner side and often has to make the conscious #decision to be kind. bc to me at least #rhats what i means to be a good person #she js a good person because she knows she is flawed and tries to do bwtter.#and I feel like the way ive been interpreting her recently hasnt been the kindest #but like I said. this is probably only evident to myself #headcanons #idk i also just really have problems with seeing her as the perfect little angel shes meant to portray #theres no way someone like her who leads the life that she does is just a 'can do no wrong' saint #anyway the point is. characters i attach to being mean a lot is directly linked with me being unkind to myself.#the meaner i portray a character i love you can bet money i am being especially unkind to myself irl

6 notes · View notes

cats-in-the-clouds · 1 month

Text

it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends #and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial #even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it #my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that #tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all #which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility #but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power #i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself #that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross #but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me #and even if they find me how do i not fumble it #my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice #which is usually true #i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones #i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am #one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me #but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me #like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance #so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert #it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others #even though i can’t help myself #what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me #i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already

2 notes · View notes

bunnyboy-juice · 2 months

Text

blah blah blah blah blah

4 notes · View notes

dashiellqvverty · 4 months

Text

the way i was watching the season seven finale like oh this was meant to be the end of the show wasn’t it. and from looking it up what i could gather was that it was meant to possibly serve as a finale in case they weren’t renewed. and from having only watched ians story it was definitely wrapped up very neatly imo. like that would’ve made a lot of sense as a finale ending for him which like. i understand would’ve been a WILDLY unpopular ending (from what i have gathered browsing tumblr) but i do think as far as accomplishing what they were trying to do with his character in those seasons they succeeded.

like it’s clear they wanted to show him in a more stable place and meeting different types of gay people and changing as a person and figuring out his space in that world and stuff. and part of that was sort of officially closing the book on mickey. which. i don’t think it’s WRONG to argue that mickey is not the best person for him if he is focusing on growth and stability. so like i understand what they’re going for and i do think the accomplished that (especially compared to how clearly they were scrambling for what to do with him in the next season) even if it’s not what i would have done

i will say, and maybe this is amplified by only watching ian’s scenes so the pacing feels faster, but a lot of the relationships and change in general does feel a bit rushed? i think my main thing is i don’t get much sense of a personality from ian and it’s like. i suppose you could argue he’s also trying to figure that out but. idk i’m just like what is he like what are his interests what is the draw of him - besides being hot - for these guys who want to date him and stuff. like he feels like he changed very much very quickly from earlier seasons and if it HAD been the ending for him i would’ve felt a little bit like this guy is unrecognizable from who he idk. “really was” (in the sense that this kind of like normal relationship with these gays who don’t share his background is like. not ‘truly’ right for him. but of course they’re trying to show that that IS right for him now i just don’t feel like i know how we got there)??? but then i’m like well what WAS his personality in those earlier seasons…. wanting to join the army???? idk it just made me feel like for all i know about him As A Character in terms of how he acts and what he’s been through and stuff. it feels. to me at least. that there’s still a lot i don’t know about him just like As A Guy. and i want to. idk if there’s a conclusion to all of that just. thoughts and observations i suppose.

also there’s times in these seasons where it feels like ian’s story is very much being used as a mouthpiece to Educate The Audience (his speech about mental health and trans 101 with trevor) which just felt awkward and out of place in this show imo

#like i like trevor i love how much ian likes him #i think he was a relatively interesting character. they were able to make him a multifaceted person without a lot of time #especially if we’re looking at it in a ‘what if season 7 was the ending’ way #i think the implication of hey they might get back together ian really likes this guy. is nice :)#i would say his writing is not so good in the next season in a way that feels more like they’re not sure what to do with him #i don’t think he’s really a bad boyfriend and certainly not a bad person in the way i have seen people talk about here #i think the storyline just got weird and he kind of didn’t fit into it #if i was elliot fletcher i would’ve quit tbh. idk if he did i’m just saying.#anyway i think trevor is cool and nice im just like what did he like so much about ian besides his body #bc that man has the patience of a saint teaching him about trans shit #r.txt #this got so long and i am soooo sleepy do it might be incoherent too #shameless

5 notes · View notes

princesandromeda · 10 months

Text

Five of the doujinshi I bought over a month ago finally arrived and like I should be preparing two of my final projects but I'm having so much fun glossing over these 🥹 especially bc the artists wrote thank you notes. One even wrote "You really like HyoShun huh"😭😭😭 (me funaron verdaderamente) (I mean, it's actually different in context bc it's more like "The one you like is HyoShun huh… or so I gathered. But I hope you also like MilMus" BC THEY SENT GIFTS!!!!)

anyways fanartists are really the backbone of the fandom, god bless them🙏🙏🙏

#i'm especially excited for konotabiha and naichaeba. first one bc midgard hyoga and second bc episode g a #hyoshun #as you can see. i bought seven doujins total. five of them hyoshun. i. definitely do love them #saint seiya #i might also try to translate them!#the auction one also looks interesting tbh #it really does reflect the fact that ir was drawn in the 80s. though it's a bit dusty so my eyes water if i look at it too much #random

6 notes · View notes

wabblebees · 10 months

Text

thought id update to say; i survived opening night!!! and not only that, it went REALLY fucking well, and people seemed to REALLY REALLY like it omfg... god this is so crazy

#i was literally holding the script in a bigass binder for almost the entire show (sparing only the parts where i had to BULLFIGHT)#(bc i needed two hands -- one for the cape & one for the banderilla.)(yall i had to learn how to BULLFIGHT TANGO & SWORDFIGHT. in TWO DAYS)#but the audience said afterwards it was like i wasnt even on-book; they hardly noticed it was there??!!#yall this is my real life rn. im failing my classes but yknow what??#i can pull it together enough to emergency understudy in a highly physical show 2 days before opening even with a script ive never SEEN #and apparently we made people fucking CRY. HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT #this playwright is just. incredible. the script is INSANE. BEAUTIFUL & CLEVER & HILARIOUS & TERRIFYING & VILE & TENDER & TECHNICALLY PERFECT #and apparently our production is like. only the eighth time this show has EVER been produced. for real #but god EVERYONE should know about this playwright's work. fuck i actually think tumblr would really love her. holy shit.#maría irene fornés is her name -- she was a queer cuban-american playwright+director who made radical heartwrenching magical theatre #im so grateful to be doing this & SO fucking sad for the original performer im covering for... god. bc this is just such lifechanging work #this play is queer in EVERY sense. its off-putting loving repulsive peculiar passionate holy and GAY AS HELL. its real its farce its SO CAMP #((IRENE & SUSAN SONTAG DATED. SONTAG AS IN 'NOTES ON ''CAMP''' SONTAG. ITS FUCKING GORGEOUS.))#its gorgeous its gorey its glamourous its also literally the first part ive played that i think might truly fit my casting type exactly lmao #which is INSANE. bc the character is literally just described in the script as ''ISIDORE: an androgynous clown'' LMFAO #but honestly what could be more homoerotic than 2 ''men'' locked in a room together dancing tango+talking abt beetles+stabbing each other #hmm. maybe its the fact that after i stab the other guy i call him ''saint sebastian'' and then we LITERAL ACTUAL GAY KISS #which is crazy bc we only practiced that ONE TIME before opening #and youd think this shit cant get Any Gayer BUT. IT DOES. bc my scene partner+the director are gay+together irl... and uhh.#ive literally been their third. like. more than once.#ISNT THAT FUCKING INSANE. THIS IS MY REAL LIFE?? THIS IS MY REAL LIFE #ANYWAY #so now im headed back out to rehearse more before we perform it again tonight lmao #i hope it goes as well as it did last night #that audience was fucking incredible i really hope the next two like it as much as they did🤞🤞 knocking on wood #so. if u read this far. u should go find+read ''tango palace'' by maría irene fornés. mwah okay bye #bee speaks

6 notes · View notes

heavenknowsffs · 1 year

Text

Kicking my feet in the air and giggling

#i just love having a crush and not doing anything about it i love it so so much #like idc man i love the unresposibility and the little jokes ppl make like indicating we might work out #BUT NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!#i'm not being sarcastic i really love this #yesterday my crush's mom was like 'see his friends wanted him to go with them to the party but you stayed so he stayed too'#and then someone else from his family was like 'look at him hes a virgin whore' and i said 'oh poor thing don't call him that'#and then he looked at me and said 'no he acts all saint and pretty and is in fact a whore' and i was like 'oh yeah makes sense i knew that'#and then he said 'oh i get it. you're just like him you're the same you too are whores but everyone thinks you don't fuck'🤣#also this is an okay interaction to have bc we're all friends i'm friends with his mom as well this is how this all started

3 notes · View notes

foxstens · 1 year

Text

scavenger reputation sure is confusing

#my posts #gameblogging #liveblogging rain world #im currently playing as rivulet and its been a blast #rivulet is so fast and jumps so high and can swim for so long #just zooming through the entire map its so fuuuuuuun #i did use a setting to make the cycles longer bc i despise short cycles #but idk i havent really interacted much with scavs this run #i just went to moon and now im trying to get through five pebbles somehow #but i keep getting progress on chieftain passage???#i did go through shaded and i gave the merchant two pearls which prob helped #but why am i getting progress when i havent seen a scavenger in like 10 cycles #but yea this campaign is interesting bc half the world is basically the same #with just more water n shit #but the other half is so very different its obvious that this is set at a different time #i can't say i love how much swimming you need to do #but like i said playing as riv is extremely fun and there's a lot of lore so yea i love it #if this ends up being really short ill prob try saint too #and then ill prob be done...

2 notes · View notes

sodafrog13 · 1 year

Text

surprised i never put daydream/wetdream/nightmare on my beardjacket playlist honestly

#the trash speaks #one of my favorite songs of all time and i do think it fits them well #..mayne it's bc i already had ballad of the costa concordia on there actually fhfjdjtd #either way. everyone's a guru now really revamped my saint motel love (to literally nobody's surprise)#i'm. literally praying that if they have shows in my state they won't be while i'm away #bc if they do i'm going to be fucking devasted; they've been letting people vote for what songs get played each night of their tour #and i HAVE to hear that song live. like apprently they played it earlier in the tour in NYC and i'm literally so jealous #bc that might have been the first time they played in live in. what. 7 years?#and it just. that song means so much to me. it's gotten me through a lot.#and if i hear it live i might actually cry in the club hfjsjfjdj #anyways. ignore me i'm having a moment jfjsjg

1 note · View note

haunted-house-heart · 2 years

Text

living with someone with untreated mental illness is like. i understand why you're like this and i do empathize but also like. jesus fucking christ get some help before i throttle you i stg

#i hate my sis so much. like i get it. i really do. a lot of how she acts is due to mental illness and trauma but at the same time she also #just really shitty. like ik recovery is different for everyone and you move at your own pace but she just. isnt recovering at all it seems #like its been 6yrs since we got out and my mom and i have worked really hard on getting better and changing our behaviors #all the while shes just getting worse and worse to be around. like shes legitimatrly turning into my (abusive) father #its terrifying honestly but we cant do anything about it bc you cant talk to her #you say like ''hey this thing you did upset me can you please try to not do that again'' not angry or anything and she starts crying and #yelling bc youre triggering her and its not fair and nobody loves her and like. i get that some people cry a lot and thats fine! i get that #but its literally impossible to talk to her about anything bc she acts like shes the victim and youre fuckin evil for telling her to please #not put her dirty clothes on my shelf i dont like that please. like thats not an unreasonable request and im not being mean about it! but #im the bad guy for doing anything that critisises her.#and she treats my mom like shit. like i could deal w her being a bitch to me but to momma? fuck no.#i dont believe you owe your parents shit but my mom has been a fucking saint when life dealt her a hand that shouldve made her a devil #she did her absolute best and *she* was the one that sacrificed everything to get us out #and my sister treats her like shes an incapable selfish idiot.#and she never lets me talk. shell talk for an hour about smth she knows i dont care about but when i try to tell her like. hey my fav band #is putting out a new album or smth im real excited about. she gets on her phone and just ignores me.#and she KNOWS this triggers me badly its made me suicidal before and yknow what happened then? i had to apologize for making HER feel bad #she talks over both of us but it you start talking when she was THINKING about talking she has a fit #and she actively tries to gaslight my mom. like im dead fuckin serious my mom has to ask me if smth really happened bc my sis told her it #did/didnt and she has to get me to confirm the truth for her #and she treats her pets like crap she should not be allowed to have pets bc she just loses interest in them and stops taking care of them #and we have to pick up the slack #its literally just like being with my dad again. walking on eggshells all the time #my mom cant watch tv at night bc ellie gets pissed at her for ''waking her up''. even tho she claims she never sleeps.#i hate her so so much i want to punch her i want her to move out i want to never ever see her again #but rn we cant afford to live on our own. so we have to stay with her #anyway.#vent #tw abuse

3 notes · View notes

nanowired-lover · 2 years

Text

putting the lil "Japanese 80s City Pop Songs" playlist to destroy my morning executive dysfunction because the vibes are immaculate and it feels like you're in those domestic movies where you see the characters living their little routine in their house and so you're just mimicking the energy

Also it cures depression, i forgor world is a fuck and i'm going to be so happy while filling paperworks ✨

#nano.txt #also i 'binged watched' (as much as my ADHD college student ass can binge watch) All Saints Street and ough...#i love it so muuuuch but i can't even ramble about it #my gf wants to see it so i can't spoil too much #my bestie is hesitating bc it contains some stuff that might trigger them #and i feel self-conscious about rambling about it on the server bc i fear they might not really like (dumb i know)#(but i keep connecting at times when there's noone for several hours so i just. delete stuff. when i get no feedbacks/reactions smh 🤡)#good god i do have attachement issues i think 🤡🤡🤡 oversharing and rsd is a fucked up mix 🤡🤡🤡#am i the problem or is it again bc of my kinda neglecting parents that im oversharing to get attention but then feels bad when #i have nothing in return or isolation or a silent treatment ? Who knows #adhd or trauma let's guess 🤡#...ok it turned into a rant in the tags fuuuuuuuuuck #but it made me realised things lol #vent #yeah...#smh word put in quotes gets deleted

1 note · View note

felidthing · 17 days

Text

highly recommend compiling songs that are in your vocal range because this is so bizarre to look at. i can do all these. weow

#posts #saint bernard is like The song of this playlist its the one that fits no problem #lemon demon has high notes that i need to actually try for them to work but they arent hard usually #and l*vejoy my disgraced beloved i usually have to go an octave down for but that one song is doable and i love it a lot so yayy #HAVING AN OOMPH SONG FEELS CRAZY. bc listening to it im like waow thats a really low voice. but then im able to sing it. so what the fuck #iamx is way higher than i usually do. usually if i sing one of those songs i automatically go down an octave but i very much Can do the-#-actual notes

0 notes

theburiedgay · 5 months

Text

I was annoyed at first when I realized my character would be cursed to be a tiny creature for the last 2 sessions of the campaign, but her paladin bf is being so nice to her and it's actually so cute I can't even be mad. You know what, she could even live happily ever after like that... it's actually beautiful...their love is so wholesome....

#my character thought he only liked her for her looks...now she knows it's real :')#I half-regret making a 'would you still love me if i was a worm' joke bc now that is canonically how he told her he loves her asdfjkl #If anyone from the campaign finds this post theyll know exactly who I am but I had to tell you guys. It was so cute and funny #NPC: you didn't think this curse epidemic could be cured by Remove Curse did you? You think we didn't try? Do you think we're all stupid?#My character: YES. I'm supposed to be better than all of you I'm basically a saint #(...I really did think I would end the campaign when I got 3rd level spell slots. Yeah...)#edit if anyone looks at my days old post: player sent me (OOC) romantic confession. I've walked myself into a very obvious pitfall havent i

0 notes

vounoura · 5 months

Text

I love DD2 so much but I am surprised at how little was changed mechanically from DD1

#saint plays DD2 #one one hand yeha it’s nice bc it’s so familiar #but there’s a lot of clunky mechanics from DD1 that were excusable bc of budget/time constraints that you’d expect to be ironed out #in the sequel but a lot of the super clunky elements from DD1 have not been changed which is…strange.#and some of them are really good changes - the vastly improved pawn AI - that are flanked by questionable choices (pawns still never #shut up and have no way of contextually remembering how many times they’ve reminded you about a basic fact). and some of the improvements #are pretty half-baked. the approval system is still hard-connected to romance #and they’ve included explicitly romantic scenes bc they’ve decided they don’t want to decouple it which like fine but those scenes are #one-time scenes locked to two women and nobody else and their dialogue after is generic. there’s no real romance arc #nor can you say no. you either romance them or don’t do their quests. it’s still railroady like #DD1’s princess. I love DD and it’s fascinating bc it’s a lot of good ideas wrapped up in either poor execution or questionable decisions #though I do think DD2 came out too early and probably could’ve used an extra year at least.

1 note · View note