#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’

[cats-in-the-clouds]

it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

[stormyfog]

mine to keep 🔒

yandere bf niki x fem!reader

content: yandere behavior, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, manipulation, smut later on

chapter 1

i met niki through a dating app, and swiping right on him was the biggest mistake i’d ever made. at the time, it felt harmless—a quick match with a guy who was just a year older than me at 19, which i didn’t mind. his profile had been charming, his messages even more so, and when we met in person, his confidence and charisma swept me off my feet. i didn’t realize then that behind his captivating smile was a possessiveness i wasn’t prepared for—a side of him that would slowly, but surely, consume me.

when i told my friends—momo, tzuyu, and jay—that i finally had my first boyfriend, they were ecstatic for me. momo practically squealed, tzuyu smiled softly and called it “about time,” and jay gave me a playful nudge, saying, “he better treat you right, or he’ll have to deal with me.” since niki was my first boyfriend, i had no idea what to expect. the butterflies, the nervousness, the constant overthinking—it was all new to me, and my friends were my lifeline through it all. they offered advice, shared their own experiences, and told me to take things slow. “just be yourself,” momo had said. “if he’s the right guy, everything will fall into place.” at the time, i believed her.

niki invited me over to his house for a movie date, and i happily agreed. we ended up watching a horror movie, and every time a jumpscare popped up, i found myself gripping his hand tightly. he chuckled softly at my reactions, and i couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. but then i noticed something—niki wasn’t watching the movie at all. he was watching me. i turned to him, catching his gaze, and asked if something was wrong. “nothing,” he said with a small smile. “you just look so pretty.” his words made my cheeks burn, and i quickly turned back to the screen, trying to focus on the movie. before i could settle, niki gently turned my face back toward him, his hand soft on my cheek, and leaned in for a kiss. my mind raced, unsure of what to do, until i remembered what my friends had told me: just be yourself. with that in mind, i closed my eyes and accepted his kiss, letting myself get lost in the moment.

as the night went on, i realized it was getting late and told niki i should probably head home. he looked at me, his expression soft yet persuasive, and offered for me to stay the night instead. “it’s late,” he said, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “you’ll be safer here.” i hesitated, unsure if it was too soon for something like this, but then i reminded myself that this was probably normal when you start dating. after a moment of debating with myself, i nodded and agreed. “okay,” i said quietly, trying to ignore the nerves fluttering in my chest. niki smiled, leaning in to kiss my forehead, and led me to his room, where i couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and uncertainty about what was to come.

that night, niki and i cuddled in his bed, his arms wrapped securely around me as we drifted off to sleep. the next morning, i woke up to find him still sound asleep, his peaceful expression making my heart flutter. i gently shook him awake, whispering that i needed to go, but instead of letting me go, he pulled me closer, his voice groggy as he mumbled, “no, don’t go yet.” he pressed soft, sleepy kisses across my face, his warmth making it impossible not to smile. i giggled at his reaction, feeling my cheeks heat up as i relaxed into his embrace, savoring the moment a little longer.

a few minutes later, niki finally got up and offered to drive me back to my house. i didn’t think much of it at the time and agreed, not realizing this was another mistake—now he knew where i lived. when we arrived, i said goodbye and thanked him for the ride, waving as he drove off. the moment i stepped inside, i pulled out my phone and texted my friends’ group chat, giving them a full update about what had happened. momo sent a string of heart emojis, tzuyu told me she wanted every single detail, and jay jokingly asked if niki had passed 'the big brother test' yet. i couldn’t help but laugh at their responses, feeling like everything was falling into place perfectly.

chapter 2

i had finally decided it was time to introduce niki to my friends. after all, things were getting more serious between us, and i knew my friends would want to meet him. we all planned to hang out at the mall, and niki was eager to join. when we met up, momo and tzuyu immediately started making ‘oooh’ sounds, teasing us about our relationship. niki just chuckled, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as if it was the most natural thing in the world. i couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed, but i was happy to see them getting along so well. jay, on the other hand, wasn’t as open with his emotions. he smiled and gave niki a friendly nod, but i could tell there was something in his eyes—a hint of jealousy, maybe? it wasn’t surprising, considering jay had been my childhood friend, and i knew he’d always looked out for me. still, i appreciated that he wasn’t letting his feelings get in the way of our fun. throughout the day, niki spoiled me by paying for all my things, something that made me both grateful and slightly uncomfortable. i didn’t want to feel indebted to him, but the way he smiled at me made it hard to refuse.

it had been a month since niki and i started dating, and while things were still good, i began noticing some subtle changes. he had become more protective of me, constantly telling me that i didn’t need my friends and that i deserved better. at first, i thought it was sweet, a sign that he cared about me, but then it started to feel a little... off. i didn’t think too much of it, chalking it up to the fact that he was my first boyfriend, and i didn’t know much about relationships. what really started to unsettle me was how he became more possessive, constantly checking in on me and questioning where i was or who i was with. i brushed it off, thinking maybe it was just his way of showing affection. what i didn’t know, though, was that he had already crossed a line. while i was asleep at night, niki had snuck into my house and inserted a chip into my phone, silently spying on me without me realizing. i didn’t suspect a thing, and i thought his possessiveness was just a normal part of being in a relationship. but in the back of my mind, something felt like it was slowly shifting.

as the days passed, i began to feel a growing unease about niki’s behavior. i couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right, but i didn’t know how to confront him about it. so, i turned to my friends’ group chat, sharing my concerns and asking for their thoughts. momo, tzuyu, and jay all told me that it sounded like niki was becoming a little too overbearing, warning me to be careful. but i brushed off their advice, convincing myself that they didn’t understand. after all, niki was just being protective, right? he was my first boyfriend, and maybe i was just overthinking things. eventually, i stopped paying attention to their messages, silently pushing their concerns aside as i convinced myself that everything would be fine. niki’s love was just... intense. and i figured it was just part of being in a relationship.

niki’s words began to linger in my mind more and more. he started saying that i should move in with him, so we could be together all the time. at first, i hesitated, unsure if it was too soon for such a big step in our relationship. i didn’t know if it was the right decision, but the thought of always being close to him, never having to leave his side, started to feel comforting. niki promised it would be the best thing for us, that it would only bring us closer. my friends, however, didn’t feel the same. they warned me that moving in so soon was a huge leap and that i was rushing things. but i pushed their concerns aside, convincing myself that it would be fine. after all, niki was just looking out for me. so, i packed up my things, moving into his place. as i settled into our new life together, a strange feeling nagged at the back of my mind, but i ignored it, telling myself it was just the excitement of being in love.

another month passed, and niki’s possessiveness grew stronger with each passing day. he started insisting that i couldn’t see my friends anymore, claiming that they were a bad influence on me. if i wanted to go out, he wouldn’t let me leave without him by my side, always making sure he was there, watching my every move. at first, i thought it was just him being protective, but the constant surveillance and control began to wear on me. i started to feel trapped, suffocated by his need to always be around. regret started to creep in as i remembered my friends’ warnings, and i couldn’t help but wish i had listened to them. but now, i was too deep in the relationship, too tangled in his web of control. i wanted to talk to someone, but i was scared—scared of what niki might do if i did.

chapter 3

one evening, after yet another argument with niki about his possessiveness, i finally snapped. i told him he was being way too controlling, that i couldn’t breathe anymore with him always watching my every move. i tried to explain that i needed space, that i needed my own life outside of him. but as always, niki’s expression darkened, and he just stared at me, silent for a moment before walking out the door with a simple, “i’ll be back soon. i’m getting food for us.” as soon as he left, i quickly grabbed my phone, feeling a wave of desperation wash over me. i needed help, and fast. i texted my friends’ group chat, explaining everything that had been happening and asking them to help me get out of this situation. i even sent them niki’s address, hoping they could come and get me. no sooner had i sent the message, i heard niki’s car pull out of the driveway. i breathed a small sigh of relief, thinking i had some time. little did i know, niki wasn’t really getting food—he used the chip he put in my phone to track my every move. he saw my friends' car pull into the driveway, and without hesitation, he followed them in his own car, a sickening feeling of dread building in my stomach.

as jay drove, my friends quickly noticed a car following closely behind us. they exchanged nervous glances, and jay’s grip tightened on the wheel. he pulled into his driveway, trying to shake niki off, but it was too late. niki parked his car and got out, storming toward us with a look of fury. without a word, jay jumped out of the car, ready to confront him. the two of them squared off, words turning into shoves, and it escalated into a full-on fight. i watched helplessly from the car, heart racing as the sounds of punches and grunts filled the air. the fight was intense, neither of them giving an inch, but in the end, it ended in a standstill. both of them were exhausted, bruised, but neither had emerged victorious. with a final glare, niki retreated to his car and sped off, leaving us in the quiet aftermath. i rushed out of the car and ran to jay, who was standing there, catching his breath. “are you okay?” i asked, my voice trembling. jay gave me a small, reassuring smile, though i could see the tension in his eyes. “i’m fine,” he replied, but i could tell he was more worried about me than about himself.

once we were inside jay’s house, the tension didn’t ease. momo and tzuyu immediately started helping jay with the cuts and bruises, but the weight of what had just happened hung heavily in the air. they exchanged a glance before turning to me, their faces serious. “y/n, it’s time,” momo said softly, her voice filled with concern. “you need to break up with him. he’s not good for you. this isn’t healthy.” tzuyu nodded in agreement, her usual calm demeanor replaced with an intensity i hadn’t seen before. a sense of dread pooled in my stomach. i didn’t want to lose niki, but i knew deep down that this wasn’t the person i had fallen for. i swallowed hard, my heart aching as i pulled out my phone. i couldn’t ignore it any longer. taking a deep breath, i typed the words that felt like they would shatter me: “niki, we’re over.” my fingers shook as i hit send, but as soon as the message was gone, a wave of sadness and relief washed over me. i couldn’t help but wonder if i had just made the biggest mistake of my life.

a few weeks passed, and niki never responded to my breakup message. while i still felt a mix of relief and guilt, i found myself growing closer to jay. we spent more time together, doing everything from late-night talks to spontaneous trips. jay was there for me in ways i hadn’t even realized i needed, and i couldn’t help but appreciate the comfort he brought. momo and tzuyu noticed the change and were happy for us. “you two were always meant to be,” tzuyu said, and momo teased, “finally, after all these years.” their support made me feel at ease, but deep down, i couldn’t shake the feeling that niki’s silence wasn’t the end of it.

little did i know, niki had been planning something far more sinister while he was away. he wasn’t done with me yet. niki was working behind the scenes, finding ways to drive all my friends away, one by one. after all, he still had the chip in my phone that no one knew about, tracking my every move, watching my conversations, and using it to manipulate the situation. it was like he was always lurking in the background, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

chapter 4

after a month of planning and scheming, niki finally set his traps in motion. his first target was momo, who had unwittingly walked into his trap when she returned to her house. niki had been hiding in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

with momo distracted by her daily routine, niki snuck up behind her and knocked her out cold. he then dragged her back to the living room and tied her securely to a chair. a sadistic grin spread across his face as he began to explain why y/n was his. "you see, momo," niki sneered, "y/n was always meant to be mine. and you took that away from me." the air was thick with tension as niki began to torture momo, leaving her writhing in agony. as the sun set over the city, niki finally left momo to die in her own home.

i had been staying at jay’s house for safety, trying to keep my mind off the lingering fear of niki. but the fragile sense of security shattered when the news blared through the tv, announcing the discovery of a body found in a nearby home. my heart stopped as the screen showed momo’s house. the anchor confirmed what i dreaded—it was her. i froze, my chest tightening as tears welled up in my eyes. jay and i exchanged panicked glances before he reached for his phone. "we need to call tzuyu," i whispered, my voice shaky. jay nodded, quickly dialing her number as i sat in silence, my mind racing with fear and disbelief.

tzuyu picked up the call almost immediately, her voice calm but firm as she reassured us, “don’t worry, i have pepper spray and other things to protect myself. i’ll be fine.” her words brought a small sense of relief, but it wasn’t enough to erase the growing dread in my chest. jay and i exchanged uneasy looks, both of us thinking the same thing—if niki was behind this, who would he target next? the thought of losing someone else made my stomach churn, and i clenched my fists, silently wishing this nightmare would end.

a couple of days passed, and tzuyu decided to take a stroll in the woods near her house, hoping the fresh air would help clear her mind from the tragedy of momo. she hummed softly to herself, trying to shake off the unease that lingered. little did she know, niki was right behind her, moving like a shadow. before she could react, he shoved her to the ground, catching her completely off guard. panicked, tzuyu fumbled for her pepper spray and quickly aimed it at him, spraying without hesitation. to her horror, it had no effect—niki was prepared, wearing protective glasses and a ski mask. her mind raced in confusion and fear. how could he have known? what tzuyu didn’t realize was that niki had overheard everything through the chip in my phone, listening in on every word of our conversation.

niki ended tzuyu’s life right then and there, with no hesitation, ensuring there was no escape for her. he left her lifeless body in the woods, arranging it in a way that would ensure it would be found by the authorities. a few days later, the news broke: another body had been discovered. this time, it was tzuyu. the room fell silent as jay and i watched the broadcast in shock. jay turned to me, his expression serious yet soft, and said, “everything will be alright. i’ll protect you, no matter what.” despite his reassurance, a cold fear gripped my heart, knowing niki wasn’t going to stop.

the next day, jay told me he needed to step out and grab some food for me. he reassured me that all the doors and windows were locked, double-checking them before leaving. i gave him a small, nervous smile as he left, trying not to let the fear of being alone consume me. after some time, i decided to take a nap, hoping it would calm my racing thoughts.

unbeknownst to me, niki had been watching, waiting for the perfect moment. he skillfully unlocked the back door with a pick, quietly stepping inside. his dark figure loomed over my sleeping body, a twisted smile forming on his lips. leaning down, he whispered softly, "don't worry, everything will be fine soon." i stirred slightly but didn’t wake—until he pressed a cloth over my mouth. my eyes flew open, locking onto niki’s cold, calculating gaze. i tried to move, to fight back, but the chemicals took hold. my vision blurred, and the world faded to black as i fell unconscious.

niki tied me up and placed me in the backseat of my car before heading back into jay’s house to wait. when jay returned, groceries in hand, he froze at the sight of niki casually sitting on his couch. “what did you do to her?!” jay shouted, dropping the bags in a panic. niki smirked, standing up slowly. “i’m only taking back what’s mine,” he said coldly, pulling out a pocket knife. before jay could react, niki lunged forward and stabbed him. jay gasped as his body crumpled to the floor, blood pooling beneath him, while niki looked on, completely unfazed.

chapter 5 (smut)

i woke up in a daze, my head pounding as i tried to regain my composure. blinking a few times, i looked around and quickly recognized the room i was in—niki’s bedroom. but it wasn’t how i remembered it. the walls were plastered with pictures of my friends, each one crossed out with bold red x’s, and beside them were papers filled with detailed plans of what niki had done to them. my stomach twisted in horror as my eyes shifted to another section of the wall. there, amidst the chaos, were pictures of me—hundreds of them, all jumbled together with a massive heart drawn around them in bright red ink.

i tried to move and was relieved to realize i wasn’t tied down or restrained in any way. my legs were shaky, but i pushed myself to stand, summoning every bit of strength i had. slowly, i staggered toward the bedroom door, my only chance at escape. as i opened it, my heart dropped—niki was standing right there, his 6'1" frame towering over me. my breath hitched as he took a step forward, forcing me to retreat back into the room. his eyes burned with an unsettling intensity as he gestured toward the pictures plastered on the walls. "do you see how much i love you?" he began, his voice low but filled with venom. "i hate seeing what's mine being taken away. i had to do this. you should’ve listened to me before. you should’ve stayed with me. none of this would’ve happened if you just listened." each word dripped with possessiveness, his twisted devotion sending shivers down my spine.

niki backed me up until i stumbled and fell onto the bed again, his movements swift and deliberate. before i could gather myself, he was on top of me, pinning both of my hands above my head with just one arm. i gasped, my body trembling as my heart raced in my chest. "i-i’m sorry, niki... please! don't hurt me!" i begged, the tears streaming down my face, mixing with the panic that gripped my every thought. his expression was cold, but his voice remained eerily calm as he leaned closer, his breath warm against my ear. "no," he said, his words almost a whisper, "you should’ve listened to me. you wouldn’t be in this position otherwise." his grip tightened, and the fear bubbled up inside me as i realized how much control he had over me.

niki's grip on my wrists tightened, his voice low and almost possessive as he spoke. "i have to punish you. i have to," he muttered, his words barely a whisper against my skin. "i told you those friends won’t protect you the way i do. i have to do this so that you listen to me." my heart raced, and i could barely think straight through the overwhelming fear. "no—niki, please, don’t!" i begged, my voice breaking as i tried to pull away, my chest tight with terror. before i could say anything else, niki cut me off, his mouth suddenly on my neck, biting down hard enough to draw blood. a sharp cry escaped me, and i whimpered in pain as the searing sensation hit, my body tensing in shock. the sharp sting of his teeth left me trembling, unable to escape his grip.

as niki continued to mark me, i couldn't help but whimper in submission, his groans of satisfaction only fueling my desire for him. he then started to undress me, leaving me fully exposed and vulnerable before him. despite the danger and uncertainty of our situation, i couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pleasure at being completely under his control. he undressed himself as well, revealing the hard lines of his body beneath his clothes. the air was thick with tension as he gazed down at me, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity that left me breathless and wanting more.

niki then dipped his finger in me, expertly working their way inside me, his thumb circling my entrance as he slowly pumped in and out. i felt a mix of pleasure and discomfort as he began to stretch me, preparing me for the size that was to come. his eyes never left mine, burning with a smoldering intensity that made my skin prickle with anticipation. "you're so tight," he whispered, his voice low and husky, sending shivers down my spine. he continued to work his magic, gradually increasing the pressure until i was gasping for air, my body trembling with need.

niki let go of my arms, hovering over me, his warm breath touching my ear, “i’ll teach you to listen to me.” his eyes locked onto mine, his gaze burning with a fierce dominance as he aligned his massive cock to my trembling entrance. i felt a wave of uncertainty wash over me as i wondered if it would even fit, but niki was undeterred. he slowly began to push forward, the head of his dick breaching my opening and sending sparks of pain through my body. i winced at the initial discomfort, but niki didn't stop, instead continuing to thrust in and out in slow, deliberate strokes. with each passing moment, the pain gave way to a growing sense of fullness and pressure as he stretched me further than i ever thought possible.

he then gripped my hips as he pounded into me with reckless abandon, his thrusts growing more brutal and unforgiving. i begged him to slow down, but niki just laughed, his voice cold and detached. "this is what you get for not listening to me," he repeated, his words dripping with malice. i clung to his back for support, my fingers digging deep into the flesh as i tried to anchor myself against the onslaught of sensations coursing through my body. tears streamed down my face as niki leaned in close, his lips brushing against mine in a cruel kiss. his eyes gleamed with a dark intensity as he whispered the question that sent shivers down my spine: "do you understand what happens if you don't listen to me?"

as i felt myself approaching climax, i whispered to niki that i was close, but he sternly instructed me not to come unless he gave permission. this command only served to heighten my emotional distress, and i broke down into tears as i begged niki to let me release the pent-up tension in my body. however, niki remained unmoved by my pleas, his expression unyielding as he continued to thrust into me with deliberate precision. it wasn't until he spoke again that any sense of hope arose—"listen to me," he growled, "listen to me and maybe...just maybe...i'll reward you."

after what felt like an eternity, niki's relentless pace showed no signs of slowing. i was a quivering mess, my body screaming for release as i struggled to hold back the inevitable. but it seemed that fate had other plans, and with one final thrust, niki's words pierced through the chaos: "you can come." a wave of relief washed over me as i let go of all control and allowed myself to surrender to the orgasm. it was only moments later that niki joined me in his own climax, his groan echoing through the air as he pumped into me with renewed ferocity. and just when i thought it was all over, niki's voice cut through the haze once more: "i'm not done yet.”

i gazed up at niki through tear-stained eyes, my body still reeling from the intensity of our first round. i was spent, exhausted, and overwhelmed by the relentless pace he'd set. but niki seemed to have other plans, his hands moving with a newfound ferocity as he flipped me onto my stomach and positioned himself behind me. my ass hung in the air, exposed and vulnerable as he grasped my hips and plunged into me once more. i moaned softly, my body protesting the sudden invasion even as it responded to his touch. i arched my back in an attempt to escape the overstimulation, but it only seemed to fuel niki's desire for more.

i clung to the bed sheets, my fingers digging deep into the fabric as niki continued to drive himself into me with ruthless precision. his words cut through the haze of pleasure and pain, a cruel reminder of why i was in this position in the first place: "see? if you listen to me, you wouldn't have to be punished." the words were like a spark that ignited another wave of orgasmic intensity within me, and before i could even process what was happening, i came again without warning. my body went limp, exhausted and spent as niki's thrusts slowed to a stop. he chuckled softly, his breath hot against my ear as he whispered something that sent shivers down my spine, “again.”

i felt myself reaching the breaking point, my body screaming for mercy as niki continued to thrust into me with relentless precision. it was like he had a sixth sense, knowing exactly when to push me over the edge and send me tumbling into another abyss of pleasure. and yet, i couldn't help but succumb to his will, my body betraying me once more as i came again not only a few minutes after. the sensation was almost too much to bear, my mind reeling from the sheer intensity of it all. niki's own climax followed shortly after mine, his groan echoing through the air as he pumped into me one final time before collapsing against my back in exhaustion. his breath hot against my skin, i could feel his heart pounding in time with mine as we lay there together in silence.

niki's arms wrapped around me, pulling me close as he whispered words of reassurance into my ear: "i'll protect you forever, i promise." the warmth of his body and the gentle pressure of his embrace were like a balm to my exhausted soul. as we lay there together, i felt a sense of safety wash over me, as if nothing could ever harm us again.

as the silence stretched out between us, our breathing synchronized in time with each other's. my eyelids grew heavy, and before i knew it, i was drifting off to sleep. niki followed suit soon after, his soft snores mingling with mine as we both succumbed to the exhaustion that had been building all day.

[f1goat]

roommates ; lando norris + part eight

In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.

masterlist - playlist

lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: smut & not proofread

Lando: Still not happy about you having your own hotel room

You let out a soft chuckle when you read Lando’s text message. Since you have gotten here on Wednesday, Lando has been whining about you having your own hotel room. You typ a reply, reminding him that it was him that booked the room for you. After getting back multiple sad smileys, you leave your phone alone. For now you have to focus on what you’re going to wear.

When Lando wasn’t whining about you having your own room, he has been whining about you not wearing his merchandise. So, when he started whining about that again today, you decided to change up your outfit after the third free practice. Lando however did think you’d be his after the third practice, but was disappointed to find out that you were already on your way back to the hotel. 

While looking in the mirror, you touch up your make up a bit. You’re pretty sure that you’ll be on a lot of gossip accounts after wearing this to the track. You don’t even know how Max is going to respond - you could always say that you’ve lost a bet? After spraying on some perfume, you take one last look in the mirror. Your reflection looks back at you. Dressed in a hoodie that you’ve snatched away from Lando his room recently, it’s pretty clear who you’re supporting. Lando his surname is all over the hoodie. Max is either going to laugh at you or be mad. Oops. 

In the mean time Lando is waiting impatiently for you to get back to the track. He almost feels annoyed with you for not being here. Your attention has been snatched away since you’re here. Not that Lando can blame you. He does however blame himself for getting you your own room. When he booked the room, he didn’t know yet that things would change between you two. It would be better if you shared his room with him. In some weird way Lando feels more peaceful while sleeping with you. 

He sighs when he sees another text from you coming in, telling him that you’re stopping by RedBull first to talk with your brother. This is what he meant. Lando can’t believe himself for feeling this way, but he realizes what a luxury it is to have you in his home normally. Before he realizes what he’s doing, Lando is already walking towards the RedBull motorhome as well. The gossip accounts will love this probably. He already wonders what kind of rumors they will make up to fit by the pictures. 

“Lando?” Max asks surprised when he sees his friend. Lando wants to reply, he really does, but then he notices you. The words that were almost out of his mouth, are quick to vanish. He can only focus on you. Fuck, he shouldn’t have come to RedBull. If he had you at the McLaren motorhome right now, he would drag you in his room and have his way with you until he really had to leave for qualifying. 

Lando can’t look away from you. He feels insane for responding like this, but he can’t focus on anything else then you right now. He can’t believe that you’re actually wearing his merchandise. Now that he takes a better look at it, Lando even starts to think that you’ve gotten this hoodie out of his closet. Something he only likes more.

“What are you doing here Lando?” Max asks again. 

This time the words come in. Lando thinks about a reply, but doesn’t know one. What is he doing here? He’s only here because he was too impatient to wait for you coming back to him. He probably shouldn’t say that. 

“Uh, picking up y/n,” Lando eventually lies. Although is it really a lie? He is here to take you with him towards the McLaren motorhome. “I told her I’d show her the McLaren motorhome,” he continues. You almost laugh when you hear Lando his obvious lies. When you look at your brother and jokingly shake your head, Max has to hold back a laugh as well. 

“Desperate excuse mate,” Max chuckles, “but have fun together.” 

Lando can’t help and lets out a soft nervous laugh as well. He’s bad at this. When he feels your hand around his upper arm, he shows you a soft grateful smile. “Let’s go,” you tell him. Lando nods. The both of you wish Max luck on his own qualifications and then turn away from the RedBull motorhome. 

“So I’m going to get a whole tour?” You jokingly ask Lando. 

Lando scoffs. “You’re getting a tour of the couch in my drivers room,” he states with a soft voice, “You’re going to find out how it feels to get fucked onto it.” 

You feel your cheeks heating up from the way Lando talks to you. When he shows you a small grin after those words, you’re pretty sure that you’ve actually fallen for him. This isn’t some silly little crush anymore. You really like him. Fuck. 

Within minutes Lando has you inside of the McLaren motorhome, hurried he walks with you towards his own driver room. There isn’t much time left and he really needs to fuck you in these clothes before having to qualify. You on the other hand are focussed on how different the McLaren motorhome looks. Normally Lando would have found your questions and interest adorable, but now he really needs to get you to his room. He is already having a hard time with keeping his hands of you, he needs to have you for himself. 

Right before he can open up the door and get you finally inside of his room, he walks into Oscar. Fuck. He tries to open his door anyways, but before he can get you in the room with him Oscar is already introducing himself. Lando sighs. How hard can it be to get you for himself?

“You’re y/n right?” Oscar asks you. He sticks out his hand for you to shake. Something you do quickly. “Yes! Nice to meet you Oscar,” you reply. 

“What are you doing at McLaren? Aren’t you supposed to support Max right now?” Oscar jokingly asks.

Before you can reply, Lando is already interrupting the conversation. “We really can’t talk right now, will see you later,” he informs Oscar. Then he’s quick to pulls you into his room with him. You can only show Oscar an apologetic look before Lando closes the door. You raise one of your eyebrows while looking at Lando. You’re curious what has him acting like this. The last days he was pretty close with you as well, but nothing like this. This seems like a whole new level. 

“You’re acting like you want everyone to find out that we’re fucking,” you playfully accuse Lando. 

“Says the one wearing my shirt,” Lando remarks. 

Then it clicks. Lando has been begging you to wear something like this. Is this his real reaction to you finally giving in to his pleas? He really must like it then. You feel your cheeks reddening. You really like this reaction. If you knew it would be like this, you would have worn his clothes since the first time he asked. 

“So you like it?” You ask.

Lando can’t hold back a smirk. “I love it babygirl,” he tells you. It makes you smile as well. You think about Lando his words from before. “So, where is this couch you were going to give me a tour from?” You ask him sweetly. 

Within seconds Lando has you pressed up against the wall. He’s messily kissing you. You feel his soft lips all over your body. His hands are quick to disappear underneath your skirt. He grabs your ass and firmly squeezes your cheeks. It makes you let out a soft yelp. Lando uses the short second in which your mouth is slightly opened to slide his tongue in your mouth. You don’t even try to fight for the dominance. 

Softly you let out a moan. You feel Lando smirk against your lips. It makes you almost roll with your eyes. Lando enjoys having you all worked up like this. 

“Lan,” you softly whimper when he’s still teasing you. Lando is pressing kisses against your neck. Softly he sucks on a small piece of your skin. He’s leaving a trail of love bites on your skin while moving downwards. It causes you to let out more moans. “Lan,” you whimper again, but louder this time.

Lando stops his movements. He’s waiting for you to say something. 

“Please do something,” you beg him. 

“So needy,” Lando tells you, “Such a needy girl.” 

It makes you only more aroused when Lando speaks to you like this. So when he continues with soft whispers in your ears, he doesn’t even have to do anything else for you to let out a hard moan. Lando chuckles, softly telling you that everyone can hear you like this. Normally you’d feel ashamed, but Lando doesn’t seem to mind it when you let out another moan. 

“Let them hear how good I make you feel,” Lando instructs you, “Don’t you dare to hold back.”

He finally slides aside your string. Teasingly he slides his finger through your slit. When he sees your eyes plastered on his face, Lando teases you even more. He takes his finger into his mouth, sucking of your wetness. 

“Taste so good princess,” Lando groans.

“Please Lan,” you whine, “Don’t tease.” 

It seems like Lando is shaking his head at you. You’re afraid he’s going to tease you a lot more then this. Until you hear a loud knock on his door. The sounds gets you back to reality. Fuck. What is someone walks in on you? Lando notices your shock. He thinks it’s pretty cute. You think it’s less cute when he starts to take of his race suit. Isn’t he stressing about someone walking in?

“Lando!” The person yells through the door, “You have two minutes before you have to get in the car.”

Lando doesn’t back down from you. His race suit is hanging around his ankles. Softly you take his boner in your hands. You guess this is going to be a fast one. Lando doesn’t seem like he wants to stop before fucking you properly. 

It doesn’t last long before he shows you that you’re right. Lando slides his finger through your slit again. He uses a bit of your slick to make his dick a bit more sleek. 

“I’m serious Lando!” The person yells again. 

“Yes, almost ready,” Lando tells them with a loud voice. You hear how the person is walking off. 

“Ready princess?” Lando asks you softly. You show him a small nod. That’s all it takes for Lando to slide inside of you. He fucks you on a fast pace. Slamming himself in and out of you. You can’t do anything else then moaning his name. Lando knows how to make you feel good. His finger finds your clit. He traces it. 

“Tonight I’m going to take all my time with you,” Lando promises with a soft whisper in your ear, “but only if you ask me nicely if you can cum.”

Within seconds pleas are rolling of your lips. Lando can’t stop smirking. This sight makes him fall even harder for you. He’s quick to tell you that you can cum, only to increase his pace even more. When you let out a long moan, Lando is quick to follow you into his orgasm as well. 

“If you’re going to react like this every time I wear you clothes, I think I’ll wear them a lot more often,” you jokingly tell Lando after catching your breath. 

“My closet is yours babygirl,” Lando is quick to tell you. 

+++

After the race weekend, Lando had to be in MTC for a couple days. Which caused one good thing, you didn’t have to answer his question - what you’re exploring together - for now. That conversation has been delayed. Something you’re quite glad about, because you still have no idea what to answer. After this weekend you can safely say that you’ve fallen in love with Lando, but you’re still not sure about his intentions. Maybe you should speak to Max about this? It wouldn’t surprise you if Max knows more about this. 

It only lasted one day for you to get bored in Lando his apartment. Since Max is also busy with training, you can’t visit him as well. Boring. You’re really bored. It caused you to look around in Lando his apartment better. No, you didn’t snoop in his bedroom or game/work room. But you did figure out that Lando really doesn’t know how to decorate. 

Something that caused you to finally figure out what to do the next days. If you’re right, Lando is away for two more days. He texted you before that if he was lucky he could come back home tomorrow eve at it’s earliest. So, you have a bit of time left. That’s exactly why you’re busy with putting bags inside of Lando his McLaren. Maybe you should have taken a car with you with a bit more packing space? 

“He’s either gonna hate or love me,” you softly mutter to yourself while continuing to press the bags together. Quickly you take a picture of the overloaded trunk and text it to Max.

y/n: time to redecorate

You smile at your phone. Lando did tell you a couple times that he wouldn’t care if you changed a couple things. He even said that you could paint to walls pink at one point. If he lets you drive in his McLaren, he surely doesn’t mind a couple changes to his decor.. Right? 

While driving back you think about everything you’ve gathered. It’s not like you’re going to paint his house, but you’re going to make it a bit more homey. It’s not like you’ve only bought stuff which you like, you even went out of your way to meet up with a fan for a fan art of Lando. 

Coming back to Lando his apartment, it takes you a while to unload the trunk of his McLaren. Your hands are quite full while walking towards the elevator. When you’re finally back in the apartment and unpacked all your bags, it’s starting to stress you out a bit. What if you bought to many? You try to set aside those thoughts.

You start to focus on redecorating the place. It doesn’t take you long before you see the first changes. It’s a wonder what a couple decorations can do. You can’t wait for tomorrow. You did order a couple things as well which certainly wouldn’t fit in the McLaren. You’re still doubting if you’re going to make changes to Lando his bedroom as well. You did buy some stuff for it, but you’ll probably wait for Lando to come back so he can make that decision. 

You almost jump up when you hear the doorbell. You didn’t expect that. Now that you think of it, you expect no one. Should you even open it? What if there’s someone for Lando? Worse thoughts are entering your mind. You can’t stop about thinking about a possibility that there’s a girl standing in front of the door for Lando. You try to discard those thoughts, but it doesn’t work that quickly. It reminds you about the biggest problem you have with answering Lando his question, you don’t know what you’re exploring with him because you don’t know if you can trust him. 

After a bit of doubting you walk towards the front door. You’re glad when you see that it’s just Max who’s standing in front of the door. Quickly you open the door for him. 

“Max,” you happily greet him, “I was about to call you tonight.”

“Here I am,” Max chuckles. 

You try to talk about nothings for a while, but you keep thinking about Lando. You want ask Max multiple questions, he must know something from Lando right? You do however have no idea how to start a conversation about your brothers best friend. 

It doesn’t take long before you’re drifting off in your thoughts. You can’t help it. Last days, or better said since your first night with Lando, this keeps happening to you. Since Lando is in Woking it has only gotten worse. It makes you realizes that you’re missing him. You’re actually missing Lando. That can’t be good.

Max is about to say something, but you need to get out your words. You don’t care about interrupting Max for now, you need to speak up because otherwise you probably never will. 

“Can I confess something?” You carefully ask Max.

You think about the way you’re going to tell Max. You can’t just confess that you’re fucking with his best friend, right? Max probably thinks you still dislike Lando. For a short moment you wonder about how Max will feel about this? It’s not like he’s going to get mad, right? You let out a soft sigh. Why didn’t you think about this before? There’s a possibility of Max getting mad at you, or at Lando. This is stupid. Before you can say anything else, Max is already talking to you. 

“Are you finally going to confess that you’re fucking with Lando?” Max asks you bluntly. 

You have no idea how to react to this. You inspect your brothers face. He doesn’t seem mad, but you never sure about that. Then you notice a soft sound coming from Max. It almost sounds like a soft laugh. Is he laughing about this? You look at your brother again. He is in fact laughing at you. 

“I’m not mad,” Max quickly tells you, “and you can’t be mad at Lando for telling me. He has been waiting for this to happen for ages.”

That makes you even more silent. Lando has been waiting for this to happen for ages? Just to have sex with you or for more? 

“Fuck I’ve said too much.” Max is quick to realize his mistake. “Don’t tell him I said that,” he pleads you. 

“What did you mean with it?” You ask Max.

“Answer my question first,” Max tells you, “What do you feel for Lando?”

This time you don’t hold back. You’ve been waiting for someone to ask you this. It feels like a weight gets lifted off your chest while confessing to your brother how you actually feel about Lando. 

“I think I’m in love with him,” you confess, “Is that bad? It’s just that I miss him since he has left my side and I can’t stop thinking about him.” You fall silent for a bit. You try to gather your thoughts and to make out a normal sentence. “I uh, I just feel different around Lando. He’s making me feel things I’ve never felt before, not even with my ex,” you confess to Max, “but..”

“I was already waiting for the but,” Max says.

“I don’t know if I can trust him,” you sigh, “I mean, he’s a player. Right? What if this is something else for him?”

“He was only fucking other girls because he thought he couldn’t get you,” Max confesses for his friend, “but I can’t tell you more then that. Trust him and you’ll find out quick enough that he’s head over heels for you.”

part nine

a/n ; thinking about ending this story soon - my inspiration is quite gone. hopefully some new ideas will hit me soon :) you can always send in request (not promising i'll write everything!) thanks for the support!!

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[alphajocklover]

So I’m at my best friend’s house and something weird happened. He just told me how much he knew I love muscular guys with strong facial hair and said he had a really early birthday gift. He took a selfie then took a picture of me and now, I feel all weird and foggy in my head. I think I can see his big fat…dick through his briefs. I rubbed my face and, do I have mutton chops growing in? I just, please help me I’m not sure what’s going on, I don’t think I like it

First off, I’d like to wish you a happy early birthday! Turning 22 isn’t the most exciting thing ever, certainly not as fun as turning 21, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it! And before you correct me and say that it's not your actual birthday yet, or that’s you’re not turning 22, let me just say this: give it a moment.

You feel that tingling across your body? The strange sensation that’s like a sunburn that somehow underneath got underneath your skin, or static electricity dancing across your muscles. That’s the app your friend downloaded doing its job. I’ve talked before about InstaJock, the app that turns people who use it into a jock, and how there seem to be people making knockoffs of it as well, but as the app has grown in popularity, some of the knockoffs have gained traction too. I’d even venture to call a few of them legitimate competitors. Most have done so by finding a gimmick and carving themselves out a place in the digital tf world. Fratbook, for example, is an app that works a lot like this InstaJock, except every more of a frat boy lean. SnapBack does internet fuckboys, Redsky does conservative men, etcetera. There are even some more far out ones, like Polygraph, which is kind of like Twitter (or X or whatever) except everything you post becomes true. But I’m getting way off track, we should get back to you.

I can’t be entirely sure what app your friend used on you, but I doubt the specifics matter anymore. By this point the burning in your muscles and the itch of hair growing across your face and body is unbearable, but it doesn’t remotely compare to the dull warmth that's spread through your head. You said that you didn’t think you liked the change at first, but right now it’s hard to think at all, especially with your friend's fat dick swinging in your face. You weren’t sure when he took out his cock, or when you got on your knees, but as the heat in your muscles calmed to a dull throb, and your new thick black hair has settled across your body, you find yourself just going with the flow. Why wouldn’t you bro? Everything just feels so fucking good!

Now I have good news, better news, and even better news! The good news is that whatever your friend has done is probably temporary. It was a gift after all, and he also transformed himself, so you’re probably both going to just enjoy being hairy hunks for a while. The better news is that you probably have a boyfriend now, if that's what you want. Your friend probably knew you would hook up, and this might have been your way of seeing if you’re also into him, while living out his fantasy. The better news is that, if you want, it doesn’t have to be temporary. Once you’ve turned back to normal, and you and your ‘best friend’ have had a little talk, reach out. If you guys want to spend more time in your dumb, beefy, hair forms, I might be able to help. ---------- Hey guys! So, I know most people skip over the little out of character updates I sometimes put at the bottom of my stories, but I'm hoping you guys take a second to look at this one because I have a bit of an announcement. I realized yesterday that on February 17th, in just five days, this blog will be a year old! I know I'm only just getting back into doing this, but I'm so proud that I've actually stuck with this for a full year! So I want to celebrate! So, I'm going to be temporarily reopening my ask for...

An Alphaversary QNA!

What makes this QNA special is that you won't just be asking me questions. You can ask a question to me, my character, or any of the characters I've written about in any of my stories! The answers will probably be shorter than my usual work, but will give you guys the chance to ask about anything thats confused you, dig deeper into the world building, or even check up on a character or concept that you're curious about. This will go until February 24th, the day I posted my first original story! Don't be afraid to ask away! Thanks for coming on this journey with me you guys! I can't wait for another badass year!

[carmenized-onions]

The Other Shoe | Consultation

logline; old wounds tend not to heal, if you don't let them. but, there is hot chocolate, and love. so perhaps that's enough.

[!!!] series history, this is the seventh; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. Finally got Hozier on here. Don't know how that took me so long.

portion; 3.1k

possible allergies; two absolutely garbage mental states of people who are NOT over Mikey or the way they've been treated. Bunch of self-loathin, the whole lot.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (no pronouns!)

Took me a minute, new jobs goin' well though!! This one took a lot of stewing, lmao. Lot of staring and thinking. We'll talk after, but SO many alterations were made lmao.

It has been three weeks since you met Carmen in a freezer.

Six days since you were at his apartment. Ish.

Roughly forty-three weeks since the worst day of your life. Doesn’t feel like it.

In five days, you’ll have the second— Well, maybe third or fourth, worst day of your life.

But today is Monday, and you don’t know what’s coming yet.

It’s just after one in the morning, and you wake up to a phone call. Carmy. Yes, do not disturb was on. Yes, you’d set him on priority access— Which most people would find very cute and intimate, and it is— But he’s not the only one. It’s not a limited feature for people you want to kiss. There’s Syd, Richie, …Mikey…

Cause when is the right time to delete a dead friend’s contact info? It’s not right now. You know it’s not right now. And it probably won’t be tomorrow, either.

Phone call. You’re getting a phone call.

“Carm?”

“…”

You stir a little, bit, when there’s no reply, brain dehazing. “Carmy? Everything okay?”

You hear the beep of the phone call being ended. No way he butt-dialed you, right? You’re awake. You’re so awake. This feels all too familiar, and that's not a good thing. You immediately open your phone to text him, by the time you get to his contact, he’s already texted you. Actively texting you, in a rapid, manic succession.

‘fuck’

‘sorry’

‘you were supposed to be asleep’

Hm.

‘talking to a person hard right now?’

‘yes’

‘you’re so smart.’

‘easier to talk to robot you.’

‘wowwww’

It’s hard to write funny, right now. It’s hard to act like yourself, right now. You’re not sure how you’re doing it.

‘not what I meant’

‘I know. You’re you.’

‘you wanna send a voice message maybe?’

‘it’s fine. I’ll text.’

You give him time, you expect a paragraph since he’s taking so long, but instead you get,

‘can’t.’

‘carmen.’

‘I like you so much.’ Oh be still your stupid heart.

‘feeling is mutual.’

‘I can’t make my problems the only reason I talk to you’

Is that true? Fuck, that's kind of true, isn't it? But there's the puzzles! And there's been phone calls!

‘You talk to me for other reasons’

‘yeah. But it’s mostly problems’

‘with me.’

‘eh. Not really. Walk-in was you, toilet was Mikey, Nat had a baby, I’d consider the oven a shared problem of you and Syd’

‘oven was my fault’

He types for even longer this time. It’s hard not to interrupt him. When you start to type, he sends.

‘can I come over?’

‘I know it’s late’

‘I’ll come pick you up.’

‘no’

‘I’ll walk. I’ll be there in 20.’

‘it’s not a problem to pick you up.’ It's a problem if he doesn't let you pick him up.

‘I know.’

‘promise I just wanna walk. Get air.’

God, why are your fucking hands shaking he just wants to walk. He just wants to walk. Why can’t you bring yourself to believe people when they say that anymore?

Everything’s normal. It’s been a good six days for Carm, you know that it’s been a good six days. Everything's normal. You’ve kept a puzzle streak every morning, you’ve called him some nights, he’s called you some nights. He’s had a good week. He told you so. Everything's normal. You’ve vaguely flirted in that extremely sexual yet completely nonsensical way new situationships do, via text. People don’t do that when they’re on the brink of death, right? Everything's normal. Stop playing with your pendant. Relax. Put a shirt on. Stop being so fucking paranoid. Stop typing—!

‘can you do me a favour’

‘anything’

‘can you turn your location on for me’

‘not to be invasive. You can turn it off when you get here, I—’

Before you can even finish typing your explanation, let alone send it, he sends his location, trackable. He’s already walking.

‘be there in 18.’

You watch, with bated breath, his little contact photo bubble marching across Chicago to you. You make yourself mildly presentable and make hot chocolate on the stove—Gotta use milk, for Carmen— For when he comes to you, out of the cold. Because he’s going to come to you. He’s gonna be here. He’s gonna be here. You know that because you’ve been keeping your phone screen open and only look away to ensure you don’t pour milk on your stovetop and to blink.

He's here in eighteen minutes. You think if you had a stop watch going on, it’d be down to the millisecond. You open the door for him, before he can even knock. You watched his bubble walk up to your door. No point in waiting. You need to see him.

He’s breathing heavy. Held tight in his fist is a bundle of flowers— Importantly, not a bouquet, a bundle of flowers—Like, roots still on a few, visibly yanked out of the ground. Though seemingly from different gardens, since there's quite a variety. He looks at you, then down at the flowers, then back to you.

“I— I stole these.”

“Had a feeling.” You wave your hand for him to come inside, he does. “Are you okay?”

His steps falter, he seems downtrodden. You take the flowers, and then take his hand. He hesitates to speak, but he’s really trying to say fucking something. You squeeze his hand, it seems to help.

“I—” He swallows the spit caught in his throat. “I didn’t know— I— No. No, I did know— I knew the one place I had to come was, here. Had to go somewhere.”

You nod, you look over him. Silently doing a wellness check. You’re panicked. You’re so panicked. But he can’t know that. This is about him. You’re the one that takes care of people. He’s clean. He smells like Old Spice and you. He’s a little cold from the walk, he didn’t wear a jacket, but he’s warming up fast. He looks tired but not exhausted, which, for Carmy, is kind of as good as you’re going to get. He didn’t have the energy for a phone call, but he had the energy to come over and talk to your face; his social battery is wonky, but that’ll fix with time here. Is he hungry? That’s hard to tell on looks alone.

“You wanna talk about it, Bear?”

He nods, head down. Can’t look at you. You gently pull at his hand for him to follow you into the kitchen. “Made hot chocolate. You a marshmallow or whipped cream guy?”

His eyes are glassy, and his mood itself doesn’t change, but he does swiftly lift his head up to look at you with an incredulous, curious half smile. “You don’t do both?”

“I find it gets a lil’ busy. But I like the tiny marshmallows that come with the mix with whipped cream—”

“You gotta do actual cocoa.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t like my hot chocolate to actually be rich. I want sweet.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

“Good thing I’m a repairman, then.” You deadpan. He does actually seem to glow a little bit, at that. You repeat, hand full of flowers resting on your hip. “So both?”

“Both.”

He calms you down so easily, even when really, he was the oncoming stress— Or rather, your perceptions. He clears static for you, without effort. You nod, letting go of his hand— Slowly, withdrawing, like a silent promise that you will be back. You grab a paper towel and wrap the flowers in them, setting them down on the counter. You’ll plant them later. Honestly, kind of a better gift for you and your green thumb than a bouquet would be.

You turn to your oven to stir the pot of hot chocolate— Can’t have any fuckin’ clumps for Mr Michelin over here. Speaking of Michelin, he sidles up behind you and puts his head on your shoulder, hands hovering as if he’s going to hug your waist but simply cannot bring himself to.

He mumbles into your shoulder. “I lit my oven on fire.”

Ah. The oven was his fault. That's what he meant. When you pause and try to turn, that’s when he hugs you, holding you in place. “Please don’t look ‘t me.”

You take a deep breath, and continue to stir the pot. “Okay. I’m listening, not looking.”

“I did— I did it in my sleep. Not the first time. I think, I think they’re night terrors? But I don’t, don’t scream or nothin’— I don’t say shit actually. I don’t think.”

God, he’s insecure, even now, about how crazy you’ll think he is. Like telling your therapist everything that’s wrong with you except for the stuff that they might hospitalize you for. God, does he treat you like a fucking therapist? He’s awful. He’s awful for you. He’s awful for anyone. It doesn’t matter that you’re different— The common denominator is him. He’s a fucking piece of shit—

“I wake up screaming sometimes.” You reply, so softly. You feel his short nails dig into your sides just slightly for a second as he remembers where he is. He’s over your shoulder. No one’s over his. “Happens to the worst of us.”

You grab two mugs from the cupboard— Reaching with the arm he’s not leaning on. “Did you put it out or should I be calling my former C-F-D crew?”

“I put it out.” He notes your mugs. They’re mismatching. One is definitely handmade with messy floral patterns, the other a tourist trap Chicago mug.  They’re perfect. “I—I was cooking something, in my sleep— And then— Then the fire starts.”

You ladle the hot chocolate into the mugs— Usually you’d just pour it straight but you don’t want Carmen to watch you inevitably spill half of it on your counters. You nod, “Do you dream that you’re cooking?”

“K-Kinda? I’m not cooking, I’m the Head, the expediter— And, and my Exec is over my fucking shoulder and he’s— Just in my head.” He swallows, thinking of how to explain without explaining. “And then I wake up, and there’s a fire, and I watch it grow, and I think about what it would mean if I just let it, and how I’d want it to.”

“And then you put it out?”

“And then I put it out.”

“Do you wish you didn’t?”

“I don’t know. And it’s fucking with me. ‘Cause— ‘Cause things are really good right now.” You tense under him, and he knows it’s because you don’t believe him. “They are, they really really are. Sug bein’ away is… not easy, but, it’s, it’s okay—”

“Carm.” Your tone is so accusatory.

“It’s the same nightmare it used to be.” He doesn’t hesitate to correct as soon as you question it. He cannot lie to you. For one, you see right through him. For two, it’s you. You’d rather know he’s insane. For some reason. “It’s been hard. I— I know fuck all, about business, and, and we can’t afford to hire a fuckin’ replacement right now because we owe so much fucking money or the whole thing caves— But it’s— It’s been good.”

You grab a handful of mini marshmallows, splitting them between the two mugs. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods into your shoulder. “Everyone is… happy, right now. It’s not always fuckin’ breezy but— Everyone’s, everyone’s okay. And I have somethin’ I can actually be proud of, right now. And I have— I — You’re around. N’ that, that has been good. For everyone.”

You hum. Heart full, at that. You awkwardly shift to your fridge, waddling like a penguin instead of turning, as not to disturb Carmen, he chuckles against your shoulder. “You can tell me to fuck off, y’know.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to.” You hug his arm to you. This makes him squeeze just a little tighter. You pull out a half-empty can of Reddi-Wip, shaking it violently, as instructed. “Say when.”

You hover the can over the tourist mug, he shakes his head. “Other one.”

He wants the handmade one. Your fingerprints are grooved into the handle. You ignore how insane this makes you feel, and spray whipped cream into the handmade mug. You’re waiting for him to say when.

It’s getting to a concerningly tall pile, at this point. You feel him swallow. He finally says the quiet thought out loud.

“I think I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even in my sleep, I know it’s coming.”

You nod, you stop spraying. You think on it for a beat. You opt to be honest. “I am, too.” You nod. “I am, too.”

“What’d’you think it’s gonna be?”

You feel your neck flare red and hot, guilty. Horrifically guilty. Lifesaver. You spray whipped cream into your own mug. You don’t really want both whipped cream and marshmallows, but it’s a good way to disguise how shaky your hands are. You take a deep breath.

“Think you’re gonna realize I’m not as good as you think I am.”

He kind of, tugs at you, pulling you closer to him, as if to rebuke thee. “You’re very good, Tony.”

You just hum in reply, once again, the pile of whip cream grows— It sputters, and basically nothing is coming out, but you can’t bring yourself to move, so it continues to struggle. He lets you do this, for a moment, before softly, questioningly speaking your name.

You just hum, again. Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal. This isn’t even about you, this is about him. “I’m good.”

“You are.” He declares, like it’s law. He grabs the empty can from you hand and puts it on the counter, then turns you around to face him. You keep your head down, there’s every chance you throw up and die if you— “Look at me.”

“I know—” He does not give you the chance to excuse yourself, he grabs your chin, softly, but still, forces you to look at him.

“You’re very good.” Too much eye contact. Too close. Too sincere. Too much— “Too good, too good for anyone.”

Too good for him. You, of course, don’t think that. But that’s exactly why you’re too good. “I’m not gonna change my mind ‘bout that.”

“…Hope so.”

Carmen can see it, now. The way your jaw clenches, how you’re looking past him, not at him. The way you mirror how he imagines he looked in the walk-in, to you. He decides to take a page out of your book, and hugs you close. “Know so.”

Your chin hooks over his shoulder. You stare down the hall of your apartment, brain somewhere else. He stares over your shoulder at the hot chocolates, whipped cream slowly melting and overflowing onto the counters.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile at the ridiculousness of it.

“I—It’s not—This about you, not me—”

“It’s both. It can be both.” The shared burden.

You sigh, putting your arms around his shoulders. “…I’ll talk about it eventually, I promise. Just not… Ready—Right now.” You’re not ready to risk him no longer liking you. You need a little more time to be selfishly avoidant. “Eventually, though.”

He nods. He gets it. He does it.

“How do you think the other shoe’s gonna drop? If it does?”

This was the exact question he didn’t want, but you answered it, kind of, and that means he has to answer it, kind of. He relaxes his hold on you. “Think you’re gonna see me when I’m— When I’m not me— When I’m— I’m like, like my fuckin’ family.”

When he’s angry. When he yells. When he’s mean. When his crises don’t take the form of hibernation. When he’s frightening.

“Think once you realize, you’ll leave, and it’ll all leave with you.”

When he said that everyone’s happy at The Bear, he knows it’s because you’re back in the atmosphere. You bring a lightness that he never could, that he always envied in his brother. He honestly needs to break something at The Bear to get you to come in soon, because it’s been two weeks since you made everyone coffee, and your presence is only finally starting to wain in power. He really needs to start paying himself so you can get on bar.

“I don’t love being yelled at, certainly.”

You know what acting like his family means. Mikey used to do it. When things got bad. And while you got better and better at being understanding, still never managed to keep yourself from tearing up. “But it’s nothing that would make me leave. Nothing that’s not worth it.”

Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. His bad side, his anger, his violence, his teeth, the parts of his functionality that he hates, you consider worth dealing with, for the sake of the rest of him.

It reminds him, of a question that’s been on his mind for a while now. His chin digs into your shoulder, a little bit. He swallows.

“Do you really not think taking care of people is a lot of work?”

You frown, thinking about it. It is a lot of work. It’s exhausting work, rotten work, to take care of people.

“It is a lot of work.” You tilt your head, kiss his clothed shoulder. “But it’s just pure instinct, to do. “I care therefore I care, or somethin’.”

“What a poet.”

“Fuck off.”

You both laugh; then comfortable silence. He’s the first to break it. “You’re good.”

“We’re both good.” You pull back to look at him. Nothing has truly been resolved, and yet he looks more at peace. Thank, God. You’re doing a good job. You’re not failing again. “You wanna go drink these barely warm hot chocolates in my bed and pass out?”

“Please.”

Carmen never turns off his location, and he never will. He doesn't ask why you want it. He takes advantage of the whipped cream on your nose and the severe lack of napkins in your bedroom when he can. He replaces the Cubs jersey wearing bear in your arms, that night. He hopes he will forever, he's pretty sure he won't.

In five days, this Friday will be the worst Friday of your lives.

But neither of you know that yet. The painting is still not finished, he hasn’t yelled at anyone around you yet, Carmen still doesn’t know about the necklace you’ve tucked under your shirt every day for the past year.

The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.

You pray it’s fall will not wake the bear.

FUCK bro.

It was tough writing in a way that was coherently incoherent. Like, neither of these two want to talk about their problems, so they are vague, but I know what the fuck is going on-- And hopefully you kindddaaa get what's going on?? There's still a little mystery I'm holding on for myself, hehehe. I'm very curious if anyone has theories by now tbh. What's this hidden part of Tony's life!!! They're usually so open!!! So what's this shit!!!

I cut out like a WHOLE 300 words of them doin' a smooch because it just made no fuckin' sense. They're both in emotional hell, couldn't force it, even if I wanted it. But there was the cuddlin' and nose kissin' in bed. So I think that's a good caveat.

But the most insane part of this chapter for me, and you'll see later, THIS chapter and the next,,,,, 3 chapters? Were all gonna be ONE. I know. Nuts. I was essentially gonna format it like all snippets of this one week, because as we know, Fridays gonna be the worst friday! But I realized like a quarter way through writing this one, that it simply couldn't just be a snippet. It needed to breath as it's own full thing. As did the next 3 chaps. I think they'll be a lot more digestable this way and also it won't force me to hole away for a fuckin month writing it without giving you a single morsel of content.

Anyways, tell me what the fuck you THOUGHT!! I'm excited to hear thoughts, hopefully all good ones~~~

Next Part

[kaz-oooo]

Seen some people talking about Lovejoy and Wilbur Soot’s music and feeling very upset about letting go of those songs since they brought a lot of comfort and joy.

I’m not gonna tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. I think it’s ultimately up to you to decide if you want to continue listening to Wilbur’s music or not. What I am gonna do is list some alternative artists that I either think have similar vibes or I know Wilbur / Lovejoy had cited as inspirations so you guys can find some new tunes without stepping too far out of you comfort zone.

(Also feel free to tag on and add your own suggestions as well, the more the merrier)

Lovejoy

Arctic Monkeys — when Wilbur started the band he claimed he wanted to be like the Arctic Monkeys one day. I’ve also described a lot of their later music as being very similar to Arctic Monkeys, so if you like Wake Up and It’s over and Normal People Things then you’d love them

Los Campansino’s — Wilbur has stated before that this is his favourite band so.. very likely big inspiration for his music. Lovejoy did a cover of Knee Deep at ATP, their version is a bit more chill than the original. I’m a big Los Campansino’s fan honestly, but for stuff Lovejoy related I’ve say the albums “Sick Scenes” and “Romance Is Boring” would have the most appeal.

Wet Leg — just a good band that I think has a similar vibe, especially with themes and funky tunes. Also I’ve seen Wilbur list them in his personal playlists before so he enjoys them as well

Good Kid — not a personal favourite of mine, but their songs have similar vibes and they toured with Lovejoy as well so Lovejoy enjoy their music.

James Marriot — (editing Kaz here.. not gonna change the phrasing of this part but I’ve been told James Marriott has unfollowed Wilbur on Twitter) friend of Wilbur’s (do with that information as you will) excellent musician and would heartily recommend his music if you haven’t listened already. Also worked very closely with the band before, especially in the early days so I wouldn’t doubt they’ve influenced each others music quite a bit

MSR and YCGMA

100gecs and other hyperpop artists — admittedly not a genre I listen to a lot, but if you liked Dropshipped Cat Shirt, especially the ending, then you’ll vibe with this genre a lot.

Jack Stauber — Wilbur’s been a longtime fan of his music, it’s a bit weird and silly on a surface level but nice and miserable as well. If you like MSR I’d recommend.

Crywank — helped Wilbur with producing MSR, plus I think Wilbur took some heavy inspiration from them as well. If you like miserable music you’ll love Crywank. (Also Lovejoy did a cover of privately owned, so if you liked that go check out the original)

More Los Campansino’s — ok.. I’m repeating bands now, but I’m recommending different albums this time! “We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed” “Hello Sadness” and “No Blues”

Peach Pit — again, not a favourite of mine but they have nice chill vibes and the songs I’ve listened to are just as miserable as these albums.

Beabadoobee — once again, not someone I listen to a lot, but definitely got the same chill acoustic music as YCGMA especially, Lovejoy had done a cover of The Perfect Pair so if you liked that, and you like these albums you’d like beabadoobee.

E-girl Trilogy / comedy music

Bo Burnham — another favourite artist of Wilbur’s, someone else he’s cited as an inspiration and top tier comedy tunes! If you like Wilbur’s sadder music as well you’d definitely enjoy Inside. Otherwise his older music is great and very fun!

Lemon Demon — probably not an inspiration for Wilbur’s comedy music, but he’s definitely listened to it, it’s very fun and silly, also Ranboo highly recommends (as do I)

Other recommendations

Modern Baseball — found this band through Wilbur’s recommendations, they’re very fun and cool. Very Midwest emo, a genre that I think inspired MSR.

The Front Bottoms.. but with a warning — so I’m not super familiar with the story, but from memory a former member abused a fan, they aren’t apart of the band anymore but the current members handled the situation very poorly. This was another favourite band of Wilbur’s and I get why, very emotional and angsty. I find their lyrics hit a bit harder than Modern Baseball’s but they make very similar music.

AJJ — kinda similar to Crywank, another band I found through Wilbur’s recommendation.

Radiohead / the smiths / the cure / the strokes / just 70’s and 80’s alt rock bands — Wilbur definitely enjoys this music and took inspiration here and they’re all very cool and fun. I’m not super familiar with these bands but I know a lot from this time have good old controversies so be mindful of that, but yeahhh good music!

I don’t know how but the found me — alt/indie rock band with very fun tunes! Sits alongside Wilbur’s comedy music and Lovejoy in my playlists a lot of the times so.. if you like those two you’d probably like this band :) also Dallon Weekes deserves all the love in the world, all his former bandmates (Brendon Urie and Ryan Seaman) keep fucking him over.

Cavetown — not sadboy acoustic like YCGMA but very chill and good acoustic tunes nonetheless. Also a bit similar to Beabadoobee so if you like that you’ll like this :) oh also, i know a lot of people liked Lovejoy cos they gave off a lot of aromantic vibes, Cavetown is openly Aro / Ace so.. lots of aro vibes in his music :D

Yotam Perel — Wilbur used his music in the background of his streams, typically the album "Nice Snakes" but he used "A Long List of Short Songs" as well. It's great background music honestly, some songs have entered my top 100 playlists on spotify, but yeah, if you liked the funky tunes in the back of the geoguessr streams, this is what he played

[anemonelovesfiction]

Kinktober 18- Mirror Sex

Rotxo x human fem reader

Warnings ⚠️: Fingering mostly, Insecure reader (just slightly angsty I guess?)

Translation Station

Olo’eyktan: Clan leader

Tsahik: Clan spiritual leader

Marui: home

Syulang: flower

Yawntutsyìp: darling

Word Count: 4.1K

Becoming one with the Metkayina wasn’t hard, there were slight differences between them and the Omatikaya, but that was from a human standpoint. The expectations of the Na’Vi- the Sully’s- were different, hence their harsher orientation. But there were times where we could chat and get caught up over everything that happened, mainly with Kiri, it helped being the same age and having similar interests.

She’d helped me get used to their new way of living and even spilled the gossip on whatever was happening around us. But most importantly she’d told me about the bullying they’d experienced around the son of the Olo’eyktan. I’d refused to become an easy target for him, especially since I was human myself, so I often beat him to the punch and called myself out or made comments about our ‘incapabilities’ before he could.

“Don’t let go of the-“ Lo’ak stated as I attempted to hold on to the net before it started slipping in my hands, burning my palms. The pulling never stopping and I’d been forced to let go, placing my burning hands into the water to cool them down, I wasn’t expecting the fish to fight back or even being strong enough to do so.

“Are you okay?” Neteyam asks as he walks over to check my hands, lifting them out of the water, carefully running his thumb over the reddened mark. I could hear Ao’nung sucking his teeth, he often did this whenever I messed up, pissed him off, or showed up to work with them.

“I get it. I’m weak and you can’t trust me to do anything.” I rolled my eyes and take my hands from Neteyam’s while glaring at the teal boy. He makes a face and appears to have wanted to say something before glancing over at his best friend- and adopted brother- before turning his head and furrowing his brows like a child.

“Do they hurt?” Rotxo manages to take my gaze away from the rude teal boy and I give a soft smile, shaking my head, but turning to look away from him just as quick.

“I’ll be fine, gotta stay useful for you guys.” I say and hope it comes off as a joke but after a while of having to say these things I started to believe them, not even bothering to put on a playful smile on my face.

“We should probably try again.” I stated and lean into the water, picking the net up, and feeling a hand hold my wrist before the net slips out of my grasp.

“Go see the Tsahik.” The nicer of the two boys stated, this was the first time his stare reached my soul, the objection died in my throat and I simply nodded, walking off but still hearing the boys start to argue. I couldn’t make out exactly what was said as they talked too quickly but I didn’t want to turn around and get caught in the middle of it.

“How are your hands?” Kiri asks once I’d finally sat next to them. Eclipse was due soon and we were supposed to have met for dinner, I resist the urge to roll my eyes, I knew she’d find out because of Lo’ak’s big mouth.

“They’re fine, did Lo’ak run his big mouth to you again?” The question was rhetorical although Neteyam could have also mentioned it.

“No.” She answered truthfully and I sit by her, a bewildered expression glued to my face, the question was rhetorical until she said that. I raised a brow but she only offers a smile, she knew something I didn’t and I hated when she did that, I suck my teeth.

“What?” I asked her.

“You’ll see.” She says ominously and it irked me when she acted all mystical.

Most of dinner went by normally and everyone was busy having their side conversations, we typically talked as a family on our way back to the marui and into the night as we lied on our mats, it was always nice to hear how everyones day went, but I was about ready to sleep myself. I’m not excited to have to fish again tomorrow but I knew I had to pull my weight.

“Hey,” A teal body sits next to me just before I found it in myself to leave for bed, I was tempted to call it an early night and let Jake and Neytiri know I’d be going to the marui, but it appears life had other plans for me.

“Hello,” I respond toward the nice boy, I had a bad habit of using their monickers instead of their names in my head. Ever since Kiri and I talked about what had happened to them, she often used the little nicknames for me to keep track of her story, and I continued using those nicknames to describe them.

“How are your hands?” He asks and peers over as if wanting to look at them, I had no idea why I found myself showing him my bandaged palms. I’d been given some kind of salve to help with the burning sensation mixed with something for swelling, the thinnest of bandages placed right on top to help my skin absorb it.

“They’re fine.” I responded as I look down at my hands, I’d trained myself to never look the bully in the eye, and ended up losing my confidence for silently challenging Spider and the rest of the Sully’s with my eyes as well, I had a hard time looking directly into anyone’s eyes anymore.

“I’d like to show you something, if you’d allow me to, of course.” He stated calmly, I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to agree either, he had kept it pretty nice and open for me and it made me smile internally. I always wondered just how close Ao’nung and Rotxo had been considering they both seem completely different.

“Uhm-“ I look back over to notice the Tsahik had sat down at some point with her husband and they conversed with Jake and Neytiri.

At some point of the conversation Tsireya and Ao’nung had joined between Lo’ak and Kiri, Spider sitting between Kiri and Lo’ak, closing off the circle and excluding myself, whether that was accidental or on purpose I’d kick his ass later for it, he hadn’t been sitting there before.

“You do not have to-“ His tone sounded as of it held slight disappointment and I found myself staring right into his honey green colored eyes, tempted to make the boy feel better, and embarrassing myself with how abruptly I’d stopped him.

“No, no.” I stated rather quickly, eyes widening at my reaction, before looking away from his eyes with a blush dusting my cheeks. “I don’t mind, I can go.”

“Okay, come on.” He holds his hand out for me to grab and I eye it suspiciously, him and Tsireya had been the only ones to not make fun of my extra finger, but it still made me wish to have hands like theirs. I hesitate before grabbing his hand and he smiles, standing himself up and waiting for me to follow his lead, I look between our hands and his eyes before settling my other hand on the ground to help me stand up.

It doesn’t take long before we escape the prying eyes of most people. Some stared at us as we walked away and it was funny to watch how many of them failed to be discreet about it, I knew everyone was nosey, but a lot of them were too comfortable showcasing it. I laughed internally, they thought something was going to happen and it wasn’t.

“What do you need to show me?” I asked as I finally come within his home and notice a gigantic glass-like object hung on the wall of his marui, how he managed to do that I was unsure but I could see my reflection and looked away again, turning to face him.

“I wanted to show you,” He starts while placing a hand on my shoulder lightly, pressing against it to turn me, my brows almost kiss in confusion but allow his hand to turn me around. I still face the ground but keep my ear on alert for the rest of his explanation.

“Yourself, through my eyes.” He stated and I turn my head back to look at him, wondering what he meant, before feeling my chin being redirected at the mirror, never once having caught a glimpse of his face, until I looked through the mirror at it, already catching his eyes on me.

“Wha-what do you mean?” My furrowed brows could already tell him I had no idea what he meant and he just smiled at me. He settles himself down onto his knees and we’re almost the same height, if by almost I meant a full head taller than myself.

“I do not like when you say negative things about yourself.” He stated and the confusion starts again, was he just going to compliment me? Even before being the way I was I never accepted compliments well.

“I’m just beating Ao’nung to the punch line.” I laugh lightly, not really how I would have laughed had I actually found it funny, his lips thin in disappointment.

“Why do you feel the need to do that?” He asks, eyes still on mine, and I could feel my throat becoming dry, making sure to thickly swallow whatever saliva I could gather.

“N-no reason?” I asked pathetically, but my answer was honest, I had no real reason to have started saying those things. I guess I got in my head about Kiri’s story and figured the only way to prevent the bully- Ao’nung- from making fun of me or a reason to hate me was to say what I felt he would say in that moment.

“Hmm.” Rotxo hums but it didn’t seem to be about my terrible explanation.

“Has anyone told you to stop?” He asks with genuine curiosity twinkling in his eyes and I seem transfixed on them, unable to look away, tempted to turn to face him again, eyes turning toward my left before he speaks up.

“Look at me through the mirror.” He stated so sternly that my eyes fly back toward the mirror, giving him a slight nod, showing I understood that he needed me to look through the mirror and nowhere else.

“Well?” He raises a brow and I feel weirdly warm, he had asked a question beforehand and he needed an answer, I draw in a breath and answer.

“Kiri and ‘Teyam said to stop.” I admit and feel relieved having been able to answer his question.

“I’m telling you right now, it needs to stop.”

I just stare at the man on his knee’s beside me, his body was comically large compared to mine, yet found myself compelled by him at the same time, allowing myself to nod along toward his words as he stares at me expectantly.

“I need to hear you say you won’t say those things anymore.” His voice was stern, his facial expression was stern, my legs felt like jelly.

“Or what?” I raise a brow in interest and he thins his lips once more, I had no idea what had caused me to defiantly say that, but I had, and it upset him.

Although we didn’t stand face to face with the mirror, I could see some emotion swim through his eyes. I could feel myself turning my body getting ready to say something smart, before seeing him shuffle and end up in a seated position, scooting further back on the floor of his marui, and dragging me down with him, landing on my bum and kind of in his lap. His legs were outstretched beside mine, allowing me space but keeping an arm wrapped around my belly to keep me seated.

“Rotxo-“ I begin to protest but am cut off by his gruff voice.

“Say it.” He demands.

The tone of his voice makes it harder for me to want to turn around, so I look back toward his eyes, fury swimming through them. He was waiting for me to say what he wanted me to say, but this was ridiculous, right?

“I- I won’t sa-say those things a-nymore.” I find myself stuttering as I struggle to get through the phrase and am tempted to look down but I would have missed the sweet smile tugging at his lips, my heart started beating erratically and I wanted to see him smile more often.

“Is that all?” I asked trying to appear bored and wondering if I could go back toward my marui I shared with the Sully’s but he shakes his head.

“No, syulang, we’re just getting started.” He whispers in my ear and I gasp, shocked at how I had reacted, turning my face and end up smashing my lips on his, he backs up quickly.

“That was meant for your cheek.” He stated as if he too had been shocked, glad to know he wasn’t planning this, but I let out a nervous laugh.

“Yeah why would anyone want to kiss me?” I asked mid-laugh only to finish with my own lips thinned as a frown forms, eyes widened slightly, as if I had just been caught red-handed saying something I wasn’t supposed to. His own brows furrowed in slight frustration, he is looking directly into my eyes -through the stupid mirror- and I can’t find it in myself to look away.

“Maybe something other than intimidation will get you to stop saying those stupid comments.” He grumbles placing one hand on my hip, the other trailing down my jaw, taking a hold of it semi harshly. It doesn’t hurt but I wince at the action, he turns my face toward his and I can practically see the frustration permeating off his body.

“Like what?” I wanted to smack myself after those words left my mouth. A smirk painted his features, as if he was waiting for me to challenge him, I’d never seen him smirk, just the bully, but I liked it a lot better when Rotxo did it.

“Keep your eyes on the mirror. Do not turn your head for a second or I stop. And when I ask, you will say only good things about yourself, yes?” He isn’t really asking, it was rhetorical, but I nodded either way, feeling my lungs ache for a breath which I feel is granted to me once he lets go of my chin. My head snaps back to look at the mirror and I catch his eyes.

“Can you tell me something you like?” He asks and I resist the urge to groan at his sparkling eyes, shaking my head and I could feel the frown tugging on his lips, not because I didn’t like anything about myself, I could feel the heat starting to travel down south and I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of this gentle giant.

“I like your eyes,” I felt my breath escape me after I stated that and he chuckles, kissing my temple again, his hand had slid off my chin earlier but was placed on my chest, ready to grab my chin for attention, but I wanted his hand to wrap around my throat and choke me.

“I meant about yourself.” He smiles, the hand on my hip gently stroking that side of my body, not dipping below my tewng or above my beaded top.

“I can’t think.” I admit and the hand on my side stops moving but I that wasn’t the hand I was needing to move, my chest felt heavy and I could feel my heart continuing to thump against the ribcage, I know he could too.

“Your eyes are beautiful, especially when they catch the sun just right, they look like they glow.” He stated and it feels like all breath is knocked loose from my lungs.

“Your nose is different and adorable. Your lips are full and plump, I often wonder how they’d feel against mine.” He stated in my ear again, shit.

“Rotxo, what?” I cut myself off as I feel his lips trailing my jawline. I need him to stop for a second, but a second is all it takes for him to turn my face toward his once more, planting a soft kiss on my mouth and feeling the heat coming off his lips and onto mine. I whine at the loss of heat on my lips, having felt my face move back toward the mirror on its own, just to find myself capturing his eyes with mine, my breath hitches and I can see his smile.

“Now you say something.”

“I like you.” I blurt out as I attempt catching my breath and his smile is wider now.

“I mean about you, silly girl.” The hand on my chest slides down between my breasts and I moan at the slight feeling of the beads sliding against my nipples, feeling ashamed at how overly sensitive I was at the moment.

“I like when you touch me,” I let the words fly out, I knew I wasn’t answering his questions but being around him as he caresses my body like its a fuckin’ fiddle wasn’t going to help me say anything less embarrassing.

“Hmm, yeah? I like touching you too.” He digs his lips onto my neck and plants kisses there and it causes me to gasp.

“Please,” I throw the word out there, not even sure what I was begging for, but wanting him to continue pushing whatever agenda he had planned, I just needed to feel his hands on me.

“Not until you say something you like about yourself.” He’s a persistent man, thats for sure.

“I like myself, I do,” I attempt to plead with him and he chuckles, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. I knew I looked as pathetic as I sounded, but seeing him look back at me was worth it.

“Of course you do, yawntutsyìp, but I need an honest answer.” He explains and I let our a short frustrated grunt.

“M-my hair, I like my hair,” I answer honestly. My hair was pretty to me, I could put it up easily, I could braid it beautifully, it was long, its the reason I was particular about who cut it.

“I like the length, I like how shiny it is, its the thing I take care of the most.”

Just then I felt a hand caress my hair gently and felt my spine shudder at the sensation. I was also particular about who got to touch my hair but his touches were gentle, caring, soft, he could definitely touch my hair anytime he wanted.

“I can tell,” He smiles and places a kiss right on the back of my head, right where my hair was. “I always wanted to run my hands through it.” He comments sweetly.

“Please touch me,” I stated pathetically to feel his hand stroking my belly gently.

“What else, syulang?” He asks and I feel like I’m about to lose it, but just as quickly think on my feet, feeling accomplished in my answer.

“M-my legs,” I admit.

“They’re long, hel-helps me swim.” I stutter and feel his intense stare on me, but my eyes were closed, until he pinched my thigh with the hand that had been on my hip. I opened them just as quick as the pinch had come.

“Eyes on me, pretty girl.” He stated but doesn’t allow himself to kiss on my neck or jawline, I pout slightly, I liked feeling his lips on me.

“Why are you pouting?” He asks as a hand comes up from my belly and underneath my beaded top, my breath hitches as he cups my left breast, feeling its weight in his hand and allowing his thumb to stroke up against my nipple, my gasp clearly audible as his ears flick at the sound, standing at attention to focus on me, my cheeks heating up.

“Answer.” He reminds me and I moan lightly as a response.

“Need you,” I admit with a whine. He seems pleased with this answer and smiles once more.

“What do you want me to do, pretty girl?” He asks and I felt dizzy, his second hand caressing my thigh from where he’d pinched it while lazily running his thumb over my nipple again.

“Everything,” I mumble and feel my eyes closing again to enjoy the feeling of his hands coming closer toward the spot I needed it most. “Please,” I beg again, moving my hips slightly.

“What do you like about me?” He asks so quietly I almost miss the question, my eyes find his and a lazy smile spreads through my face. He’d placed his hand overtop my loincloth and stopped moving it.

“Your eyes,” I stated in one breath, continuing, knowing that wasn’t enough. “They’re honey-green and make you look so handsome, like a pretty boy.” I mumble and his face softens sweetly, hand pushing my loincloth to the side, thumb pressing between my lips and applying gentle pressure on my engorged clit, rubbing small circles on the already slick covered bud.

“Ro,” I sigh happily and close my eyes, biting my lip, feeling his caresses, only to feel him stop all motions, reminding myself to open my eyes.

“Good girl.” He praises and I whine.

“You promise you’ll stop saying those bad things, right?” He asks and I nod.

“Good girl.” He repeats and kisses the side of my neck and I find it easy to move my head to the side to accommodate him. He also wastes no time sliding a finger in, a long moan leaving my lips as be continues paying close attention toward my bundle of nerves, my thigh shaking.

How is it that he’d just started all of this hard work but managed to get me soaked by doing minimal shit, the man had only started kissing my neck when I became a mess for him, holy fuck.

“Oh shit,” I let the English phrase slide out as he picks up speed.

“Can you take another finger?” He asks and I hesitate to answer.

“Just wanna make you feel good, pretty girl, can you?” He asks again and I nod.

“Put them all in, fuck,” I mutter in-between moans as he sticks a second one in and I feel full. The feeling of his fingers settling in my cunt had me feeling hot all over.

“Look at yourself yawne.” I look up and see his fingers shoving themselves deep inside my pussy, slick covering his entire hand, and I’d failed to notice I was moving my hips to match his thrusts.

I could feel my hands squeezing flesh and realize I’d grasped his beautifully thick tattooed thighs in the palms of my hand, hence the slight burning sensation. I let out a gutteral moan and watch him smirk in the mirror just to insert his third finger, scissoring his fingers to stretch and I couldn’t hold myself back.

“Ro, I’m close, so close.” I try grounding myself by squeezing his thighs but feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff and feel the need to jump without a parachute.

“Be a good girl and come for me, syulang, I want you to drench my hand in your juices so I can taste you before shoving my hot, thick cock inside of you.” His voice had deepened a bit as he said that, I could feel my cunt squeezing his fingers.

“Let go for me, pretty girl.” He begs sweetly and its as if he coaxed the come out if me, my walls fluttering as I came, a pitched moan leaving my lips as I stare at my gaping pussy greedily clamp down around his digits. I kept my eyes down low and couldn’t find it in myself to look away, mesmerized by the workings of his fingers inside of me as I kept coming.

My labored breathing was hard to try and calm down after the events that had unfolded. His hand had already been covered in my juices, but at this instant, it was dripping. He could only pull his fingers out, I hissed at the feeling, and watched him through the mirror, bringing his hand up toward his mouth, closing his lips around his fingers and letting his eyes shit as a moan rumbles through him. I could only bite my lip as I felt another wave of heat awaken within me.

“You’ve taken cock before, right pretty girl?” He asks as his dry hand reached over to untie the knot that held his loincloth together. No hostile tone in his voice and I nod at his question once more.

“Good,” He seems to smirk again while settling himself on his knees, cock hanging low, it curved downward and seemed pretty fucking hefty.

“Same rules as before, syulang, keep your eyes on the mirror, if you don’t, I stop.”

[gxldenlush]

Wedding date || c.s

Pairing: best friend!chris x fem!reader

Summary: y/n needs a date to her competitive sisters wedding.

Warnings: use of y/n, nickname (ma), random names for sister & her husband, slow burn (no development in this part)

A/n: gonna be a series so lmk if you want part 2. semi proofread😓

word count: 1840

Pink=y/n

Orange=chris

༻☙✽༺

“But I hate weddings! I doubt she even wants me there anyways” I’m currently pacing around my bedroom, protesting to my best friends reasoning as to why I should go to my sisters wedding next month.

“It might be fun, y/n. You might meet someone” Chris shrugs on his end of the already 3 hour long FaceTime.

“That’s the thing, I told her I had a boyfriend last month when she came over for dinner” I now regret this lie, but at the time I didn’t know that my sister would get married so quickly.

“Y/n, you are the most single person I know, and this is me talking! Why would you even tell her that you were dating someone?”

I instantly roll my eyes at the thought of my sisters competitive attitude. “You know what she’s like, Chris. She’s always trying to one-up me, i just told her about my new job and she instantly adds on that she got a promotion as though what I said meant nothing.” I stop my pacing and I throw myself backwards onto my bed with a groan.

“So you tried to one-up her?”

“No, she started talking about her boyfriend and how perfect he is, mom gave me that expectant look, you know the one? Her smile says “it’s okay” but her eyes say “if you say the opposite of what I want you to say, I wont talk to you for weeks”. I just cracked!”

“And now you have a non-existent boyfriend?”

“Yep” i sigh dramatically which pulls a laugh out of Chris. “So when she was on the phone talking about her wedding, she told me i could bring my boyfriend, I couldn’t say no!”

“Why didn’t you just say you broke up?”

“No way, that’s so much worse! Do you think Nick could pretend to be straight for one night?” I only half joke, genuinely willing to try anything.

Chris laughs loudly at my suggestion “Nick couldn’t even pretend to be straight when he thought he was straight! Look, how about this, if you can’t get a better solution by the week before your sisters wedding, I’ll go with you.”

I sit up and my eyes widen and shine with hope and gratitude as they look down at Chris on my screen.

“really? You’d do that for me?”

“Sure, why not.”

“That would be amazing, I’ll let you know, alright?”

Chris nods and changes the subject slightly.

“So, your sisters… fiancé… how long have they even been together?”

“Like six months? I don’t get it, honestly.I know the whole ‘when you know, you know’ stuff genuinely happens for some people but, I’d still want to be with them for much longer just in case, you know? Even if they propose at that time, I’d stay engaged for a while first.”

“Yeah, I agree. I feel like they probably don’t even know each other totally yet”

“Exactly!”

“Yeah, I think you have to know a girl for at least a year before knowing if she’s ’the one’, y’know?”

“I agree”

We’re silent for a few seconds before i mumble another comment. “He’s kind of creepy too, I do’t like him.”

“Creepy?” Chris’ tone has altered ever so slightly. Concerned. Protective.

“Yeah, he’s always staring, doesn’t understand personal space… he’s just strange”

“Does he make you uncomfortable?”

“A little bit, but I think that’s just because I don’t really know him.” I scoff. “My sister doesn’t even know him and she’s marrying him”

“If he ever does anything to you-”

“Which he wont”

“If he does… you’ll tell me. Right?”

“Of course I would.” He flashes me a smile.

“So anyway, did you figure out who ate your pop tarts?”

“I don’t know for sure but I’m fully convinced it was Matt”

We continue going through random conversational topics until we both fall asleep. A call that lasts about 5 hours? That’s normal for us, every single night that we aren’t seeing each other in person.

༄

“So, did you find a date for your sisters wedding?”

It’s a week before the wedding and I had no luck in finding a date. I shake my head as I hand him a Pepsi.

“Damn… so what colour tie should I wear?”

“You still want to be my date?”

“Sure, it’ll be fun. Besides, you can talk shit to me about your sister the whole time if you want” He smiles, knowing that sentence alone will convince me.

“Alright, but only if you’re okay with going?”

“Of course I am. One thing though”

“Yeah?”

“Your sister fucking hates me” he laughs

“Oh well” i shrug “Emma hates everyone that doesn’t love her as much as she loves herself. besides she’ll just have to deal with the fact that I love my totally real boyfriend”

“Awh, you love me?” He plays into the joke “damn, you’re saying it this quick? You’re turning into her”

“Woah, that’s not even funny!” I try to sound serious, but I can’t help but laugh.

“Wear your yellow tie, if you still have it, the one you wore for homecoming?”

“Yeah I’ve still got it, are you wearing yellow?”

I nod with a smirk “she hates yellow, and I look great in it”

“Ooh, we’re going bitchy for this wedding. I love it”

༄

“Hey, I’m here, are you almost ready?” Chris says over the phone as I finish up my hair in the mirror.

“Almost, just finishing my hair, just come up”

He hangs up the phone, I assume he’s walking into the house, I hear him walk up the stairs and lightly knock on my door.

“Come in” I turn to face the door, smoothing out my yellow dress as he opens the door.

When I take sight of Chris, my heart flutters. He looks so handsome. I can’t help but find hin attractive. I note that his eyes widen when he sees me.

“Holy shit, ma. You look gorgeous.” He sounds breathless, i think nothing of it, maybe he walked here.

“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself” I smile as I make my way over to him, I raise his tie and put the end of it against my dress. “Perfect match”

“Like fate”

“Or destiny” we laugh.

“Alright, let’s get going. Mom and dad are already there with Emma.”

“Shall we, m’lady?” He holds his arm out for me to link to.

“We shall” I laugh as I take his arm.

༄

The reception was lovely, I have to say. It was an outdoor wedding in the middle of summer, the weather was perfect and so were the vows. I am now sat at a table with Chris to my right and my father on my left with my sister beside him, drinking champagne and finishing dessert.

“So, y/n, how long have you and Connor been together?” My sister pipes up, clearly getting Chris’ name wrong on purpose.

“His name is Chris.” I reply through gritted teeth

“Oh, right. Silly me”

I roll my eyes as I conjure up more lies “we’ve been dating for about two months now, but we’ve ben friends for years”

“Yup, loved her even then” Chris adds in, leaning closer to me, placing his hand on my thigh, an action that is only visible to me, which confuses me. I smile at him, he kisses my cheek as I struggle to control my blush. What is happening to me?

Once we’ve finished dessert and our glasses of champagne, music starts to play, my sister and her new husband are called up by the DJ to begin their first dance. Everyone gathers around the dance floor to watch and record their first dance as a married couple. When I hear the song that’s playing, I scoff, shake my head and go sit down. Chris follows after me.

“Hey, don’t you wanna watch them dance?”

“No” I reply, sulking.

“What’s wrong?” He sits sideways in the chair next to me to face me, he takes my hands in his, seeing that I’m clearly upset.

“When we were kids, we used to watch Princess and the Frog, this song is from that movie. I told Emma that when I got married, this would be my first dance song.” I explain as an extended version of ‘Ma Belle Evangeline’ plays.

“Well, you can still dance to it now?”

“But-”

“Nope. No buts. When the DJ calls more people over to dance, we will dance too. Me and you.” He stand up and holds his hand out for me to take. “And we’ll dance a damn site better than them” he smirks.

“Now let’s get the bride and grooms parents and siblings up.”

I sigh and take Chris’ hand, he leads me to the dance floor and we start to slowly sway to the music, my arms around his neck and his hands on my waist.

And I love you, Evangeline…

I recognise his cheeky smile and I laugh as he takes my hand and starts to spin me around, we sway again, smiling and only looking at each other. Just as the song is ending, Chris dips me, like in the movie that I have also watched with him over the years. He slowly pulls me back up to stand when the song ands and everyone applauds. A huge mile on my face.

“Thank you”

“Anything for you, y/n” he smiles back at me, there’s a hint of something else in his eyes that I can’t quite place, all i know is that it’s something good.

The night goes well, apart from a few comments back and forth between my sister and I. We all laugh and dance and drink. That last one bars Chris, he doesn’t drink alcohol, even after Emmas new husbands many attempts to coax him into drinking something.

I ended up having to snap at him, which pissed off my sister to no end. “James! He said no!”. Emma didn’t speak to me after that.

“I’m just going to the bathroom, you gonna be alright alone?” I mumble to Chris as i pick up my handbag and stand up.

“Yeah sure, I’ll just talk to to your dad” He smiles up at me, I ruffle his hair to which he slaps my hand away making me laugh

“Wont be long” I make my way to the bathroom, leaving the large marquee and going into the main building behind it.

Walking down the hallway, I hear my name being called.

“Y/n!”

When I turn around im surprised by who meets my gaze

To be continued…

———

@mattscoquette

[daeagon]

My Reactions to the Season Finale of TDofJ

Time for the SeaSON FINaLe

😮‍💨 I wasn’t planing on doing this, but here I am

How did Jackal escape the Boats? I love the car chase but you get up a boat one last ep

😭😭😭😭😭

WHY IS JACKAL HOMOPHOBIC?! How hurt you!! I’m sorry ok! Please stop killing gay men!

Something something Bianca signed up to help people and has been told to do whatever it takes and she does that to a T, but goes too far, people die and she is dealing with the guilt and consequences, she does what she has been conditioned to do, continue, she is/has lost her humanity for this job and for what?

Say that again? (I can’t find the gif, but you know it)

*scarsactic* wow! It’s almost like that’s how J was in the army and Bianca is a mirror, woah

‘I quit’ SLAYYY QUEENNN!!! You leave them!

but now who’s the reckless loner??? It was a self fulfilling prophecy! She has become the Jackal in her own way, also she has no resources now

IS THAT BRITISH FORUGN SECRETARY THE MOLE?! He’s sus! Also love the music

HE IS THE MOLE! ITS A CONSPIRACY!! ‘Your friends’ WHO?! So he’s leading this, but why? What do they gain?

also Bianca’s going rogue I just know it

I’m so confused! Could the friends be someone the Jakcal has killed? But he was with the people who wanted UDC dead? He’s such a good villain that chuckle!? ‘let her deal with him’ CHILLS CHILLS! I’m so scared for Bianca! This feels like a trap

OH SHIT KID NOOO! what kind of Dr. Strange car flip is that?

Wow, that poor car, poor Jackal!

‘I’d say it was a pleasure, but it was not’ I love her already! Slayyyyyy

She’s cutting the brother off!! 😮

he’s going to the police, he’s telling, he’s going villain I can feel it!

Oh shit, daddy issues, that was cold Nuria! Cold! Don’t do that

THE CAR JS ON FIRE ITS GOING TO EXPLODE GET OUT!

calling the police is not as reassuring as you think it is

THE KIND RANDOM MAN LIVED!! Yippie! You might have some humanity in you yet!

this man just goes around stealing cars and seducing people

Awww I love Bianca and her husband!

MIRRORS TO THIS BEING JACKALS LAST JOB!!! 👀

identity change time!!

I could analyze that, I could, but I won’t (that being J’s scream as he pushes the evidence over a ledge)

oh no, is this another J in the wilderness ep? Bc I hated that time in Hungary

HE PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON!! BLENDING OF HIS 2 LIVES YESSSSSS

Their suspicion! They’ve seen the image! (Which some other have pointed out but it doesn’t really look like him)

but it’s interesting that normal people are being so suspicious of others and thinking twice about helping them, people turning on each other (what comes to mind is Nazi Germany and people snitching on their neighbors) very interesting!

I love the family dynamic! I wish this way my family!

DONT ANSWER THE DOOR!!! OH NO ITS ISOBEL

She’s so awkward, why is the husband hitting the 🧍‍♂️

I love that old couple! Please don’t kill them 🙏

NOOOO!

‘This will all be over soon’ FORSHADOWI N HELLO??

(I forgot to keep adding oops)

‘for the ones who have died’ GURL SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEM!!

‘No’ YES!!! TELL THEM NO BIANCA!! I genuinely love a black woman telling someone in the government no!!

WHY ARE YOU GOING TOT HE BORDER WHEN YOUR RUNNING FROM THE POLICE?!

please don’t kill them! 🙏

don’t smoke kids! Remember that!

THEY REMIND HIM OF HIS PARENTS 😭😭😭WERE?!! Are they dead! Probably

DAMN! That’s cold, but understandable

HOLY SHIT! SHE STABBED HIM IN THA BACK LITERALLY

This poor man, he’s been in a car crash, stabbed, he’s going through it

HE JUST PULLED IT OUT! DONT DO THST!! It’s keeping blood in! If you pull it out you’ll start bleeding out!

oh he angy

HE WAS REGAINING HUMANITY/NOT BURRYING IT AND HE GRTS STABBED IN THE BACK

’why couldn’t you have just let it go’ (that’s Bianca’s fatale flaw)

HE LOOKED AWAY ANSBABSFHAND

I don’t know how to feel about these events

DOES HE SEE HIS PARENTS?!!!

He’s always surrounded by bodies, that’s so sad

then immediately cut to Bianca’s family

’one last thing’ I’ve heard this before

The way J calls Nuria ‘my love’ 💕 I love it

‘Are you ok?’

YOU CAN SEE THE BLOOD FROM THE OPEN STAB WOUND?!! (I’m getting the ick from the idea of a stab wound in the shoulder I feel like I can feel it ick, also bc I’m left handed the thought of getting stabbed in the left shoulder ewww)

Something something him hiding his pain (real)

THIS PHONE CALL FEELS LIKE A GOODBY

Oh no! I feel so bad for him! Get him his wife!!

WELL SHIT! Bianca is in Spain! OH NO SHES GOING TO KIDNAP NURIA NOOOOO!

it’s a trap, none knows but Isabel and Vince (he’s also done absolutely nothing this season, which is sad bc I love him! He has so much potential)

As a person I was watching this with said ‘that’s going to go boom/make a big boom’

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨BIRD ALERT 🚨 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

BIRD ALERT!!!

It was in-fact a big boom

He’s on a bus now???? What is with these jumps? First from a boat chase to a car? Then this???

love the music as always 👌 this soundtrack is amazing!

BIRD tour bus!!!! BIRD ALERT!!

And he’s free to go?? These police need to step it up! How much is your budget anyways? Bc it’s far too much in the US

I LOVE THIS DETECTIVE WOMAN!!! She’s so done

VINCE ACTUSLLY DOES SOMETHING YIPPIE!! I also love him

SHIT

SHE KNOWS HIS NAME

SHE FOUND HIM OH SHIT! Confrontation time!!

He just dropped a gun into a bin 😭 he’s going home!

And he wants his money!

WHOS THAT OTHER WHITE WOMAN WHO ARE YOU! I don’t like you, I think she’s going to sell him out or working with the British foreign secretary dude

Is the good woman who’s been helping J is she a middle man?

This feels fishy, I don’t like it

NO NO NOOOOOO THEY GOT NURIA NOO GET AWAY FROL HER

WE DO WHAT THE JACKAL WOULD DO WE WAIT?!? THE PARALLELS TO JACKALS MISSION IN AFGANSIST AND DAKNERJDJFJFBDHFHFBDB

Do not touch Nuria, don’t even think about it!

What? B are you ok?

Ohhh she’s going against instructions!

he’s so getting away

*cough* *cough*

DONT DISS THE FUCKING BUSCITS!

why is she packing?? IS SHE LEAVING? NOW

slayyyy queen!

I’m so confused, the American woman left the hotel, and the man went up, is there a bomb there or something? I’m so confused

THR CARTOON PLAYING WHAT??

(I actually finished the show and have been going back to put my thoughts, but I’m feeling numb)

NURIA LEFT!! PLEASE TALK PLEASE! Also Girl where are you going? Your husband is an expert in this HE WAS TOO LATE!! It’s so tragic

HE LEFT THE BAG HE LEFT EVERYTHING BEHIND FFOR HER BUT HE WAS TOO LATE

im killing myself /j

Someone kill me now (like J is about to d-)

The person I was watching this with ‘don’t try need a warrant? (To B&E) Their secret service agents they don’t need a warrant”

SHES GONE AND SHE TOOK THE KID 😭😭

Oh? Oh no! That warning is a little late but I knew I liked you!!

hes leaving too

OH NO THE BROTHERS THERE! 1 how did you get it? 2 how long has bro been there 😭 3 your dead

yup

also I love Jackals turtleneck/shirt, it’s very gender

There are mother things I could say but I won’t for everyone’s sake

THE RED LIGHT

ITS THE READ LIGHT FROM THE OPENING

he’s just holeing up in his secret lair

the reflection and that red light akakensjsnnsdjsndb

BIANCA HE HAS A FAMILY!!

THE CONTRANS

YESSS ITS THE SCEENE!

HE CAN SEE HER/KNOWS/ IS ONE STEP AHEAD AND SHE ONLY SEES HERSELF LOOKING ABCK AT HER AND HE SEES HER FACE/LOOKS AT HER FOR THE FIRST TIME ANDNFJSJD

Anyone who were in charge of this decision/set design/camera angle deserves all of the awards!! All of them! This show is genuinely breathtaking and so beautiful!!

SHES IN HIS REFLECTION BUT SMALLER OH THE SYMBOLISM AND COMMENTSRY OF THE WORKD

she sees her reflection and turns away oh it just writes itself

THE SEXY NECK CRACK SIR I AM BARKING

oh the things he could do to me

The alarm is just going to make it easier for J to move around the house bc you can’t hear anything over it

I love that he’s just like tf are they doing now

hey bitches

THE RED LIGHT

Vince is dead, welp. You were cool while you were alive (we all expected this)

another scene from the opening

remember that time B went on a mission to take out Norman? Clearly she doesn’t

it’s so quiet, the house is also so dead and empty, the moonlight makes it feel dead

THE HORROR MIVOE VIBES

ohhhh she called him Duggan

‘why do you’ skzndbnsdbdb

for some reason my brain keeps thinking of ‘why do you persist after all I have done’ from Arcane 😭

‘because I like to win’ is that is? This really is a personal grudge for her now, not for the people who have died? Not to bring a criminal to justice? Wow

she charges in thinking she is the cat but she is in his house and he is the cat

Last resort

’it doesn’t have to end this way’ ‘it does’ ACORDING TO WHO

AND THEN YOU SHOOT EHT

BIANCAS DEAD

WHAT NOOOO

NO

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THA

SHES NOT DEAD ( she is, I’ve already gone through this stage)

she’s dead

I genuinely feel numb, I loved Bianca! She made this show amazing! She was so fun! I loved her

all that for nothing

my current mood ^

AT LEASE BIANCA GOT TO SEE HIS FACE IG! She did win, but at what cost

this is so morbid, she’s really dead I can believe it but I don’t want to

WHAT ABOUT HER FAMILY!!!!

NURIA NOOOOOOOOO! Welp season 2 find your family

oh he angy.

Noooooooo this poor man, he’s so sad, the wet cat energy! HES CRYING

Please Nuria

Ok first of all get your suitcase/gun back, you’ll need it for season 2! I don’t make the rules the plot does

ANOTHER CAR CRACK WHAT THE HECK! Does this man ever get a break!!

you really need to focus on the roads damn

Who was that other car? BIANCA!! 🤡

OU NO ISABELLS IN CHARGE OH NO OSI WATCH OUT!!

Ohhh get her Osi!

Coveruppppp!

BIANCA KNEW IT WAS A TRAP SHE PLANNED FOR IT 🤡

S2 Osi vs Isabell but Osi is rebelling calling it now

THE PLANT!

that feels symbolic, but I don’t know how, was it all an act? ‘I killl everything’????

Osi working undercover to trance Bianca’s steps???

The music ohh?

where are they?

😳

legggsssss

I JUST FELL TO MY KNEES IN A WALMART PARKING LOT

THATS SO HOT

I’ll bring her home by 8 vs your daughter calls me daddy too 😭😭😭😭😭

I NEED HIM I NEED HIS GENDER I NEED HIM I NEED TO BE HIM

ONC CHANCE PLEASE! JUST ONE PLEASE

I AM GOING INSAME. IMM LOSING MY MIND

THAT FIT

*hyperventelates*

I am not ok

I think this had changed the trajectory of my life

I’m never getting over this

HE JSIT WALKED PAST 2 POLICE OFFICERS THETES A JOKE BROO

he’s so cunty

serving

he’s so free! And light and happy!!

WHAT IN THE GOOD OMENS THAT IS A CROWLEY LOOK OMAJDMDKDNDNNDDBDBDHDBDRBDBDDBBDDBFBDSHHS

IM SHAKING

are they besties?? Slayyyy

I actually love that idea!

I need them, I love their friendship

also yeah, how did you survive??

wait, how does she know? WAS SHE RESPOSIBLE? IS SHE GOING TO BETRY HIM

HE TOOK HIS SUNGLASSES OFF! HE TRUSTS HER YESSSSS

ohhhh they’re going after the people who hired them yessssss REVENTGE

her name is Zina cool (it’s so sad that I’ve only just remembered it)

FIND YOUR FAMILY AND GET REVENGE!

that is how you do an ending

I am going to loop that song into oblivion, I need that ending injected into my veins!

THE GENDER

Nuria fumbled so hard damn

this is genuinely such an amazing show, it was a journey

I am so ready for Season 2!!!

[taatsums]

Kafka Oguro SR - Auspicious Day Speech: Let's Pass This Mock Interview!

Part 1

📍HAMA House, Tiger room

Kafka: Oh, you’re back, Ten.

Ten: Yep~

Renga: Job hunting… seems tough. You had that group information session today, didn’t you?

Ten: Ah~, I did…

Ten: (Right…that’s what I told them I’d be doing today.)

Kafka: But you know, for a student looking for a job, you seem to spend a lot of your time drinking. You were out drinking today too, weren’t you?

Renga: Huh, really?

Ten: Well yeah, spending the whole day slaving away at meetings and interviews really makes a guy crave a drink or two on the way home, y'know.

Kafka: It’s fine if you’re just looking to unwind, but I’d be concerned if you stayed out late too often. Don’t forget your mission to invigorate HAMA, alright

Ten: Okaaay, I’ll try to keep that in mind.

Renga: H-Hey! I don’t really know anything about job hunting or information sessions and stuff……

Renga: B-But if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know…!

Renga: I mean… Friends help each other out, right?

Ten: Eh~? I don’t really need…

Kafka: Ah, I have an idea!

Kafka: We should hold a mock interview to help Ten find a job quickly ♪

Ten: … Huh?

Kafka: Since I’m usually the one doing the hiring, I think I can give you some realistic practice. And if you do it with Renga, who has no experience, the different perspective might help you find some points to improve upon!

Ten: Wha… No, I just said I’m good—

Renga: I can help Ten in his job search too!? Let’s do it! I-I’ll do my best!

Kafka: Okaaay, we’re starting the mock interview!

Ten: … Right now?

Part 2

Kafka: First, starting from the left, please state your names.

Ten: I’m Ten Murakumo…

Renga: Ah, I’m… Renga Nishizono…!

Kafka: What is your highest level of education?

Ten: People really still care about that kinda thing?… Ah, I’m a university student.

Renga: I graduated from the Asunaro High. There’s no one in HAMA that hasn’t heard of it!

Kafka: …

Kafka: Alright then, please tell me what your strengths are.

Ten: Hmmm… My adaptability? Probably.

Renga: U-Uhh… I’m good at walking! Not, like, normal walking, but walking on the runway!

Kafka: …

Kafka: (... Ten is too casual, and Renga clearly doesn’t know how to handle interviews.)

Kafka: Well… I’ll probably have to reject your applications.

[Renga gets closer to Ten]

Renga: R-Reject means we’re failing, right!? Failing means that we suck, Ten!

[Renga starts shaking Ten]

Ten: Wait, Renga-san, don’t shake my shoulders…

Kafka: Haah… Let’s move on to the last question. Why do you want to join our company?

Ten: Ah~ For me…

Renga: I… I want to… invigorate Ward 3, and HAMA…!

Renga: And for my grandmother’s sake, I don’t want to ever give up…

Kafka: (Renga…)

Ten: … Looks like he beat me to the punch. I'll also do my best so I don't lose to Renga-san~

Kafka: … Okay, you’re both hired!

Ten: Eh?

Kafka: I think you’ll be highly valued as mayors as long as your feelings are strong and genuine. Sooo, you’re hired ♪

Renga: Alright! He says we’re hired! Let’s keep working hard together, Ten!

Ten: Hold on, this is too easy.

Ten: I mean, why was Renga-san on the job hunting side in the first place?

Ten: The mock interview was for me, so he could have been an interviewer...

Kafka: Ahaha. If you had something to say, you should’ve said it at the start, Ten.

Kafka: We learned your weaknesses this way, so I’d say that it worked out pretty well.

Ten: That’s a stretch…

Kafka: Did you say something?

Ten: Nothing at aaall.

Kafka: (Fufu, this is fun.)

Kafka: (I think I’ll enjoy living here… a lot more than living in the hospital.)

[captain-mj]

Boyfriend Dungeon

This is more of a prologue as I mostly wanted to set it up and explain how the weapons and wielders work.

Roach excitedly packed, ready to spend the summer with his cousin Rocket. Mostly he was excited about just getting out of the area. He had never been to his cousin’s city and it sounded exciting. 

Roach was well aware of people that could turn into weapons, but he knew next to nothing about them. No one in his family was one nor was anyone else in his hometown that he knew about. That was fine, it just meant he was a little out of his element when it came to those kinds of talks. Apparently the new city was full of weapons. He couldn’t wait to meet one of them. 

Rocket picked him up from the airport, holding a giant sign and bouncing up and down. He pulled Roach right into a tight hug with a smile. 

“Gary!! It’s so nice to see you again.”

Roach squeezed him back before pulling back so he could sign. “Nice to see you too. Ready to go?”

Rocket nodded and helped him with his bags. “Thank you so much for coming. I really needed some help get everything moved.” The two departed with Rocket filling him in on a few things. He wasn’t normally so talkative but he was clearly glad to have Roach around. 

They spent a few hours unpacking Roach’s bags and putting everything away. Roach occasionally asked Rocket questions but he was trying to not make his interest in weapons too clear. He apparently was not subtle enough because Rocket caught on. 

“I’m glad you brought that up actually! I have someone I’d like you to meet!” Rocket seemed to almost buzz with anticipation. 

Roach tilted his head, indicating Rocket should continue. “He’s a guy I know. He’s a weapon. When I mentioned you’d be coming, he offered to show you how to wield.”

Roach jerked up with excitement, bouncing on his feet. He quickly finished everything as Rocket told him the details. 

The next morning, he actually got to meet Price. 

Price smiled at him immediately. “It’s very nice to meet you, Roach.” He offered his hand and Roach quickly shook back. 

Rocket smiled. “Most people here speak sign, it’s taught in the local school. It’s helpful for weapons to communicate whenever they’re shifted”

Price nodded and signed to Roach. “So we can communicate however you’re comfortable.”

Roach nodded and responded. “I’m fine with people talking to me. Just don’t like talking to others.” Don’t like did not quite match his situation, but Price seemed to understand that just fine. 

“That’s alright. We’ll work through it. It’s pretty simple. I shift into an double sided ax and you simply pick me up and start fighting.”

“....fighting?”

“Oh. Yes. There’s dungeons nearby that we’d be fighting in.”

Roach nodded. “What happens if you get hurt?”

“I won’t, don’t worry. If you get hurt, I’ll simply take you out.”

Roach nodded and motioned for Price to continue.

“So, it’s pretty simple. I turn into a weapon and you wield me. You’ll feel the connection pretty instantly. It’s better for friends and partners, but I’m used to showing younger wielders how to do this. It’s common for first time wielders to get hurt because they’re inexperienced, especially if they’re weapon is also inexperienced. My husband does the same thing for young weapons.”

Roach pushed down his disappointment that Price was married. The man was a clear dilf. He wasn’t wearing a ring, but he was probably nervous about losing it in a dungeon. 

“Once you find someone else you want to wield or even just want to stop, we can. But Rocket thought it would be good for you. Dungeons are really helpful because they help you face your fears.” 

Roach glanced at Rocket, glaring just a touch. “Whatever he said was probably a gross exaggeration.”

Rocket huffed a little. “I was trying my best! I just thought you could use a hobby and to talk to people. My aunt has told me all ab-”

Roach covered Rocket’s mouth and glared at Price who laughed. “Don’t worry. If you want to go now we can?”

Roach thought about it before nodding and getting up. “Meet you at the dungeon.”

Despite it being explained to him, it was still shocking to see Price disappear. He was just a beam of light for a moment before Rocket grabbed Roach’s hand and lifted it up. 

An axe formed in his hand. Beautiful and ornate. Something about him reminded Roach of old whiskey commercials. Something about the aesthetic. The gorgeous wood handling, gold etching along the blade itself.

Roach almost felt bad he would be using him to fight. 

Price spoke and it was a bit odd. It was like he was whispering in both of his ears. 

Roach didn’t respond, unable to really understand the words anyway. He slowly swung the axe to get a feeling for it. 

It took a while for him to get used to the way Price spoke to him. It sounded garbled at first but he eventually got used to it. 

Roach was surprised by how light Price felt. 

He stepped in to the dungeon now. It looked like an old mall. 

Monsters. Some looked like bundles of yarn. Others looked more like rings. 

The first one lunged at him and it was like Roach just understood something. He swung out immediately. The weapon went straight through them, splitting them and they fell to pieces. 

A grin spread across his face. 

This was going to be fun. 

They fell in to a bit of rhythm. It felt off, not quite in a lock step yet. 

Roach found himself forgetting he had a person in his hands. Each monster would bare it’s teeth and he’d cut straight through them. 

A weight was lifting off his chest. Though he didn’t understand what the fear these things were supposed to be, it felt good to slash at them. 

There was a rest area so Roach got himself a drink. He was right about to ask Price if he wanted one when he paused, seeing a dagger on the ground. It had a chunk missing out of the handle. 

He tapped along Price’s handle and Price shifted back immediately. He looked very concerned as he moved closer to the dagger. Unlike Price, there was no… ornateness. No beauty. It felt… dark. Like the person inside was sleeping.  

“Roach, pick him up for me.”

Roach wondered how he knew it was a guy as he picked the dagger up. 

A shock ran through him. Visceral and powerful. 

It wrapped through his veins. His head pounding. Nerves lighting up at the almost instant connection.

Not a weapon. Or even the weapon. 

His weapon. 

It wasn’t like Price’s voice where it was simply close to his ears. It was directly in his heads.

“Who are you?”

Just as quickly, the feeling was shredded from him. Ripped out in a way that almost felt painful. 

The man that appeared from the smoke. He was strange. Tall and masked and even without seeing him, he knew he was beautiful. 

Dark brown eyes looked at him. “How da-”

Price stepped between them. “Ghost, are you alright? Did your wielder leave you down here? That’s very irresponsible, I’d like their name to report them as soon as possible.”

“I…” Mystery man looked around. “I didn’t go in a dungeon. I was at home… I need to go.” He left as quickly as he appeared. 

Roach was already enamored and he knew without a doubt that he wanted to wield him and him specifically. 

Price glanced at him. “No. don’t even think about it. He is not going to be good for you.” 

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Chapter 17

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: none really

A/N: work has been kicking my ass lately so I haven’t really had the energy to write but here is the next chapter for our favorite family.

Series masterlist

Ch 16

You stood in the communal kitchen sipping slowly on the hot cup of tea you’d made yourself. It was the middle of the night and it was the first moment of quiet you’d had since you woke up after almost dying.

Again.

Everyone came to see you multiple times a day. It felt like there was a revolving door at your apartment. You knew it was out of concern and you appreciated it but after a few days it was a bit tiring, which was the first time you’d ever wanted some alone time. Ever since you were little all you wanted to be was surrounded by people that cared and now here you were, overwhelmed.

“Y/N?”

“Hhmm?” You looked up to find Steve at the entryway. The same furrowed brow he’d send your way when he was worried about something.

“Are you ok? I called your name like three times and you didn’t answer. Should I get Bruce?”

You shake your head and sigh. Leaning against the counter you take another sip of your tea.

“You only get this quiet when something’s bugging you so what is it?”

“Nothing’s bugging me. I’ve just been overwhelmed with everything that’s going on and this trip to Wakanda.” You try to take a deep breath but there’s still some issues so you cough a bit. “You know I never got to really thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving my life. If it hadn’t been for you I’d probably be dead right now.”

“Don’t say that. Of course I’d do anything to help you.”

“I know Stevie, but still. It was selfless and you didn’t even hesitate.”

“I did have a selfish reason. You’re my best friend, I couldn’t lose you.”

You smile as Steve gets closer and hugs you.

“I’m serious, Bucky wouldn’t be the only one to feel lost without you.”

“Well you have me for a couple of months unless Bruce figures out how to completely get rid of this poison.”

“He’s working around the clock to try and find something. I’m sure he’s close to finding a cure and by the time Bucky and the kids get back from Wakanda you’ll be back to normal.”

You look up at Steve and smiled awkwardly. Everyone had decided that you were going to stay at the compound while Bucky went to Wakanda and stayed for however long Henry’s treatment lasted. You didn’t like the idea of being away from Bucky or the kids for an undetermined amount of time so you had already packed your bags. The only problem is that you hadn’t told anyone, until now.

“You can’t be serious? You’re still recovering.”

“I can recover while I’m over there too. Maybe a change of environment will help me.”

Steve is visibly upset and he crosses his arms over his chest. “So not only are my best girl and best guy leaving, two of my best friends are too?”

“Steve, I’m sure you can come visit. We aren’t leaving forever.” You roll your eyes playfully.

“Fine. I just worry about you guys.”

“And I appreciate it. Why are you up at this time anyway? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Not really. I was going over the next mission since it leaves early.”

“Well, it seems like we’re both leaving in a few hours. We should try and get some rest.”

“Yeah you’re right.” He sighs and rubs his eyes. “Good night Magnet.”

“Night you fossil.”

“What are you doing, I thought all of our bags were already on the jet?” Bucky asks as he walks up behind you.

“These are mine.” You turn and wrap your arms around his midsection and give him a quick kiss before Bucky can say anything. “I’m not going to stay behind while you’re gone with the kids.”

He looks at you a little wide eyed be he was caught so off guard that he couldn’t really react. Bucky just accepts the second quick kiss you give him.

“So you’re coming with us?”

“Yes.”

“Good because I don’t think I’d know a moment's peace without having you by my side.” Bucky sighs in relief. “Let me take these to the jet.”

“I’ll make sure the kids are ready.”

Bucky grabs your bags and heads out of the apartment to one of the jets that’s been prepared for your trip. You follow him out of your bedroom and into Lottie’s room to make sure her backpack has everything she needs during the flight and then you do the same for Henry.

In the living room Steve is sitting with a very teary eyed Lottie and a pouty Henry. He hugs both kids and murmurs reassuring words.

“Are you ready to go?” Steve says when he sees you walk in.

“Yup. We have everything we need packed.”

“Well then I’ll walk down with you guys then.” Steve stands and moves Charlotte to his hip while Henry takes your hand.

Once you’re at the hanger the rest of the team is there to say they’re goodbyes. Lottie however holds on to Steve for dear life.

“I stay with Steeb.” Lottie announces.

“Sweet Angel but we have to go.”

“Mama are you going with us?” Henry asks, hope sparkles in his eyes.

“Yes I’m going with you. I would miss you too much.”

Henry smiles and wraps his arms around your waist.

“Mama go?”

“Yes, sweet Angel and uncle Steve can visit soon. But we have to go now.” You stretch your arms out to grab her but don’t pull her away from Steve.

Her big blue eyes look at you and then at her uncle. Lottie’s arms wrap around his neck and she gives him a kiss on the cheek before diving into your arms.

“Bye bye Steebie.” Lottie waves at Steve who just looks hurt at the fact that she changed her mind.

“I promise to send you lots of pictures and videos. Bucky said he’d show her the g-o-a-t-s he used to tend to.”

“Just try to take care of yourself over there ok?” Steve says as he hugs Henry and then you.

Bucky walks out of the jet and stands beside you. He takes the kids backpacks and swings them onto his shoulder.

“We should get going, it’s a long trip.” He kisses your temple and then reaches over to give Steve a quick hug. “Come see us when you get the chance.” He tells Steve.

Bucky takes Henry’s hand and they head back to the jet. You snicker when you see the kid’s backpacks on his shoulder.

“The world’s most feared assassin wearing a princess backpack.” You turn back to look at Steve. “Don’t get reckless ok? I won’t be there to have your back.”

“I won't, I promise. Have a good trip.”

You wave one last time before finally making it into the jet. Henry is already strapped in and you sit Charlotte right next to him before taking a seat yourself.

Most of the flight had been quiet. Since you left so early the kids fell asleep right after take off. Bucky mostly stayed at the pilot’s seat while you read. You were halfway through your journey when Charlotte and Henry finally woke up so you got some of the snacks you’d packed for them.

“Mama.” Lottie cried. The little whimper she let out made Bucky panic.

It reminded him of when Lottie found you on the bathroom floor. He whipped his head around thinking he’d find you unconscious again.

“It’s ok sweet Angel. It's just a little juice on your pajamas.”

You stood and went into the bathroom to grab some napkins. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief as he watched you pat Lottie’s pajama dry. You kissed her forehead before sitting next to her and helping her finish the snack you’d given her.

You could feel Bucky’s eyes on you and turned your head to look at him. He smiles and you wink at him before you turn back and start talking with Henry.

“Do we have to do this?” Henry asks you.

“We do bubs.”

“But why? I want to go home.”

“Are you scared sweet boy?” Henry nods. “Oh sweetheart you don’t have to be scared. You remember what we talked about right?”

“The bad man and the words.”

“Yes, the bad man did the same thing to daddy to make him do bad things. Wakanda, where we’re going, helped daddy get rid of those bad words. That way no bad men can make daddy do anything he doesn’t want to do. And they’re going to help you too.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Yes baby. It’s why I came with you so that I can be close by when you need me.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

As Bucky landed the jet you saw that not only was T’Challa waiting for you but a group of Dora Milaje were at his side. It’s not like you would do any differently if one of hydra’s “assets” was being brought in. You had all changed into more appropriate clothes than the loungewear you’d been wearing and now you were just fixing a bow on Lottie’s hair. Bucky exits first so that he could talk to T’Challa.

“It is good to see you again Sergeant Barnes.”

“It’s good to be back King T’Challa.” Bucky replies with a grin as they embrace each other quickly.

“What have I said about you calling me king?”

“The same thing I’ve said about you calling me Sergeant.”

You were just grabbing hold of Henry’s hand when you saw someone else rush toward Bucky. They do a very complicated handshake in greeting. You recognize her as Shuri from what Bucky and Steve had told you.

“If it isn’t my favorite white boy.”

You snort at the comment and walk down the ramp to stand by Bucky.

“And who is this?” Shuri asks as she looks curiously at Charlotte and then at you. Your own eyes bounce from T’Challa who you smile at to Okoye who is keeping a stoic expression and then to the young and bright princess.

“Shuri, this is Y/N my girlfriend and this is Charlotte our daughter.”

“I thought you were bringing the asset. And since when do you have a daughter?”

Bucky turned and didn’t see Henry, who had hidden behind you and made himself invisible. Scared of all of the new faces. You also turned your head to look down to where Henry should be standing.

“Henry, could you let us see you please.”

At your request Henry slowly faded into view. His arms wrapped around your waist as he peeked around you to look up at everyone. You can practically see the conflicting emotions on everyone’s faces when they realize they wouldn’t be working with an adult but a child.

“This is who hydra was using?” Okoye asked with a horrified expression on her face.

“It is a very long story but yes. Henry is my son and hydra was preparing him to be the next winter soldier. We’re pretty sure they were going to do the same with Lottie.”

“Hi there little man. You know I’m friends with your baba, I’d like to be friends with you too.What do you say?” Shuri lowered herself to be at eye level with Henry and she smiled. Henry looked up at you and Bucky and Bucky encouraged him to speak up.

“Ok.”

“Would you like to see what I’ve been working on in my lab?”

Henry nods but doesn’t move.

“Come on, we'll go together. Shuri has the coolest things there bubs.” Bucky says as he takes Henry’s hand. He turns to you unsure of what to do.

“Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll show Y/N where you’ll be staying?” T’Challa offers.

“Go ahead. I’ll see you later.”

You and Lottie walk beside T’Challa in one direction while Bucky and Henry follow Shuri. The palace was beautiful. It somehow combined sleek and modern with tradition and culture. Lottie was also fascinated with the beauty found in every corner. Little gasps left her lips as she pointed when she saw something she liked.

“So tell me about this little one and everything that’s happened since we last met.” T’Challa asked as he led you to a garden within the palace. Okoye followed and you could feel her eyes on you.

“Well almost three months ago we were on a mission to shut down a hydra detention center. It’s the biggest one we’ve found to date. Everyone was divided searching through different floors when Bucky said he needed a medic. He led me down to an operating room and on the table was Lottie,” you explained as you watched her explore the new area. “She was very malnourished and her health was declining quickly. I worked with Banner and when we did scans we found multiple healed fractures and worse. Later on we found videos of her birth… It was horrible.”

“Did Bucky know about her existence?”

“No. He only found out he was the father a few days later.”

“At least you were able to find her while she was so young.” T’Challa says and you smile.

“She was actually born in nineteen eighty eight. They kept her in cryo so technically she’s three. On a different mission I found three other boys but I got there too late.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He says sincerely.

“Thank you. Henry we found a day after we ran into each other at the auction. As you know he’s already been programmed to be the winter soldier which is why we came. I wanted to thank you for that. For giving him a chance.”

“You love them very much don’t you?”

“So much. I’d do anything for them. So would Bucky, this hasn’t been easy for him at all but he loves those kids and they love him too.”

“Mama look.” Lottie walks up to you with a flower and a big smile. “It’s Pwetty.”

“It is very pretty, sweet Angel.”

Lottie does her best to tuck the small flower behind her ear but fails. You grab it and place it for her and quickly grab your phone to take a picture and send it to Steve. Lottie wanders over to Okoye and starts talking. The general crouches and places all of her attention on the curious child before her.

“She seems to have a way with people.”

“Yeah, she’s very charming.”

“Is that her ability?” T’Challa chuckles.

“Maybe, but she can see the future. It’s very difficult because the visions come at random and she doesn’t know how to handle them. Most of the time she stops breathing and we don’t know what to do until it’s over.”

“I can’t imagine being in that position but rest assured Shuri will help Henry and if you mention it maybe she can do something to help Charlotte.”

“You have no idea how much this means to us. We’ll never be able to repay you.” You smile.

“Just raise them to be good people. That will be payment enough. Now why don’t I show you where you’ll be staying.”

You stand and call Lottie over. She runs towards you and grabs your hand as you follow T’Challa to the rooms he had prepared for you.

“You made all of this?” Henry asked as Shuri showed him all of the gadgets she’d been working on.

“I did. They aren’t perfect yet but I’m getting there.”

“Who are they for?”

“Has your baba not told you about Wakanda’s greatest protector?”

Henry looks at Shuri wide eyed and shakes his head. Shuri gives Bucky a disapproving glance before she begins to tell Henry the story she’d been told since she was a child. By the time she was done Henry was absolutely fascinated with the Black Panther.

“Why doesn’t Black Panther fight with the Avengers?” Henry asks when Shuri is done.

“Well I think if the Avengers needed any extra help the Black Panther would definitely fight alongside them. But you must remember there are other places that also need help so he goes there to help those people too.”

“Oh.” Is all Henry says and then nods in understanding. “Will it hurt? To get the words out.” He changes the subject back to the reason he’s there in the first place.

“No it won’t hurt. You can even ask your baba, I helped him too.”

Henry looks over at Bucky and the latter shakes his head.

“It doesn’t hurt at all and remember I’ll be here with you the whole time.”

“And mama?”

“She’ll be here too.” Bucky smiles at his son.

“Now, I know it might feel scary at times so when you feel scared or want a break all you have to do is tell me and we can stop ok?”

“Ok.”

“Alright,” Shuri says as she types something on a computer. “Would it be ok if I get some information? Then you can go with your baba and find your mama and sister.”

Henry nods and sits on the chair Shuri pulls out for him. She begins to get a baseline reading for his vitals and all the basic things she’ll need.

It didn’t take to long for her to get what she needed and soon enough Henry and Bucky where making their way through the palace halls.

“Did you stay here while Shuri helped you?”

“No, I stayed by a lake. I’ll take all of you to see it.” Bucky answers as he leads Henry toward the rooms that you’d be sharing. “We’ll do lots of fun things too.”

The rooms you’d been given were fantastic. They had high ceilings and natural light filtering in through floor to ceiling windows. The beds were ridiculously comfortable and Charlotte immediately laid down right in the middle of the bed you’d be using. Off to one side there was a set of double doors that led to a balcony. The view was just as incredible as everything else. The longer you looked out the more you understood why Bucky loved this place so much.

After the lack of sleep and the flight you were beyond exhausted so you laid down next to Charlotte. As you relaxed more and closed your eyes, she crawled closer and sat by your head. Her little hand came up and gently caressed your face.

“Mama go seep?” She asked curiously.

“You should sleep too, my sweet Angel.”

“Night night mama.” Lottie said as she moved around to lay down next to you. It wasn’t your intention but you did fall asleep quickly.

***

“Mama seeping.” You could hear Charlotte saying.

Then the bed dipped and you felt someone sit down on your other side. When you looked, Henry was getting comfortable.

“Hi sweet boy, what did you do with Shuri?”

“She let me see all the stuff she makes. It’s kind of like uncle Tony but she makes them for the Black Panther. Did you know about him?”

“Did I know about the Black Panther? Of course I even worked with him once.”

Henry started asking anything he could think of. There’s a knock on the door which Bucky answers. By this point you’re sitting and turning your attention to him.

“We’ve been invited to dinner tonight. Queen Ramonda would like to meet you and the kids.” Bucky says as he finally joins the three of you in bed.

Lottie shuffled around until she was laying her head on his chest.

“Hi dada.”

“Hi Doll. Did you do anything fun?”

“Mmhh,” she nods her head. “Habe fwiend.”

“You have a friend?”

“Yeah. Koye is fwiend. So pwetty.” She mumbles as her eyes begin to close.

You both chuckle as you watch Lottie finally fall asleep when you turn to ask Henry what he was doing, He'd fallen asleep too. After carefully moving around both of them you and Bucky managed to get out of bed. He opens the door for the balcony and you both step outside.

Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You take in the view of Wakanda. The mixture of the city and nature and its beauty.

“How did it go with Shuri?” You ask after a few minutes.

“Better than I expected. She distracted him with stories about black panther while she took most of the baseline readings. We think it would be better to do the sessions in the mornings. He’ll probably need a nap after and then we have the afternoon to ourselves. We could go out and let them explore.”

“That sounds like a solid plan. Do you know how long it might take?”

“No, but it won’t take as long as it did with me.”

You hun in acknowledgment and turn in Bucky’s arms. He smiles down at you while you play with the hair on the nape of his neck. Then he picks you up and balances you on the railing. You give him a few quick pecks on the lips and Bucky smiles after every single one.

“What’s the smile for?”

“Nothing, it’s just the last time I was here I felt like I didn’t have a place in the world. Like I didn’t deserve peace or happiness or love. That there wouldn’t be anyone that would accept me how I am. But here I am with two kids that mean everything to me and the most amazing woman that not only accepts me but loves me and my kids. It’s just… it feels good.”

“Baby,” you blinked back some tears. “Of course you deserve those things. There is nowhere in this world I’d rather be than by your side. I’ll never stop loving you or the kids.”

“I’ll never stop loving you either.” Bucky steps even closer to you and presses his lips against yours. It’s soft and sweet and when he pulls back his forehead is resting against yours. “Let’s get some rest before dinner. With all the sleeping the kids have done they’re going to be up for hours after.”

“Yeah, I could use a nap.”

Bucky tightens his hold on you and carries you into the room. Just how you had gotten out of bed you both quietly got back in without waking the kids. Bucky sets an alarm so you’ll wake up and have enough time to get ready.

The four of you lay in bed all snuggled up against each other. You watch as Bucky’s eyes flutter close and his breathing evens out and you smile. Bucky found his peace and you found your family. Even if you weren’t sure of what would happen in the future this moment was pure perfection.

Ch 18

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[baileypie-writes]

Male reader who’s an equestrian just hanging out with the tropical rouge precure team.

A/N ~ Sure! Hope you enjoy!

~Sunny Stables~

Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure + Male!Equestrian!Reader

Fandom: Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure

Fanfic Type: Oneshot

Reader: Male

Relationship: Platonic

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 560

Synopsis: Your friends wanted you to teach them how to ride horses. So you brought them to the stables, and showed them the ropes.

Warnings: Me knowing nothing about horses(I googled a bit, but I probably still made mistakes), Manatsu being a bit of an idiot(but we love her for it)

~Masterlists~

~Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure Masterlist~

Horseback riding isn’t a very common hobby in the city of Aozora. So when people find out it’s yours, they’re often very interested. This was no different for your friends at the Tropical Club. When Manatsu found out, she decided to make horseback riding the next club activity right then and there.

With no objections, the plan was set. And that’s how you ended up giving the girls a rundown on everything at the stables.

~~~~

“This is Sunny.” You introduced the blonde horse to your friends. “She’s specifically for beginners. She’s very sweet and gentle.”

The girls all marveled at her, though none stepped too close. While they were curious and excited, they were also a bit nervous.

“Who wants to ride her?” You asked.

“Me!” Manatsu bravely volunteered. She walked up to the horse, staring her in the eye. “Hi Sunny!”

“Make sure to keep your voice down. Being loud makes horses nervous.” You informed.

“Oh, sorry!” She apologized— lowering her voice to a normal volume.

You chuckled at her typical behavior. “You can pet her. Just be sure to go slow.”

“O-okay.” Manatsu’s said, her nervousness finally showing. Slowly, just like you told her, she raised her slightly shaky hand up to Sunny’s face.

The rest of the girls stared in anticipation, holding their breath. They even huddled closer together, as if to comfort one another.

Everyone simultaneously jumped when Sunny suddenly released puffs of air from her nostrils with a loud huff. Manatsu’s eyes screwed shut as her hair blew back. She looked to you for guidance. You just gave her a nod— a sign for her to continue.

Her hand kept moving, until it eventually met with the horse’s muzzle. When nothing happened, she let out a sigh of relief.

“See? She’s friendly.” You assured her.

Manatsu smiled widely at the horse, then began petting her. Sunny leaned into her touch, causing various “aww”s from the group.

“Yay, she likes me!” Manatsu cheered. “Can I ride her now?”

“Well we need to get everyone else a horse, and then we need to get everyone’s gear ready.” You stated.

“I’d like a horse next!” Laura declared— her fears having been mostly overcome after seeing Manatsu’s interaction with Sunny.

“Sure. Follow me.” You instructed, and began leading everyone further into the stable.

~~~~

Once everyone had their own horse, and had put their gear on, you led them outdoors to the fenced area to teach them how to ride them.

“Everyone have their helmets on?” You asked— just to double check.

“Yes!” They all clarified.

“Ok, good. Now, lemme show you how to get on your horse.” You said, and made you they were all watching before you proceeded.

You gave your horse a pat as a way to tell them to stay put. “First,” You began. “you’ll wanna place one of your feet into the stirrup; this metal thing right here.” You said— doing as you were describing.

You looked back at the girls to make sure they understood. Once you saw no confusion, you continued.

“Next, you’ll hoist yourself up until you can get your other leg over to the other side.” As you did so, some of the girls gasped in awe at your expertise. “You got that?”

“Yeah!” They all confirmed excitedly.

“Good.” You said, hopping off your horse to assist them. “Wanna give it a go?”

Some of them clearly got nervous after you asked— suddenly becoming quiet.

“I’ll do it.” Asuka volunteered, stepping to the front of the group. You heard everyone else sigh in relief.

Taking the reins from her, you made sure the horse stayed steady. She placed her foot in the stirrup, just like you instructed. After doing so, she looked back at you, just to make sure she was doing alright. You gave her a smile and a nod.

With nearly perfect form, she swung her leg over the horse— successfully getting on. It seemed her athletic skills payed in her favor.

“Wow, nice job!” You clapped, and handed the reigns back to her. Everyone else clapped as well.

“That was so cool! I wanna try!” Manatsu said, getting excited.

Without thinking any further, she attempted to get on her horse all by herself.

“Wait!” You tried stopping her— wanting to go over and help her. But it was too late.

She hoisted herself up too hard— practically launching herself over the horse. Instead of landing on the saddle, she landed on the hard ground. “Oof!”

Immediately, you rushed over to check on her. “Are you okay?” You asked, offering your hand.

“Heheh, yeah.” She said bashfully, rubbing the arm she landed on. “Can I try again? I’ll be careful this time!”

You chuckled. “Of course.”

~~~~

With your help, everyone else got on their horses. Sango required a little encouragement from everyone, due to a bit of fear. And Minori needed you to help hoist her up due to her height. But other than that, everything went smoothly.

“Alright guys, are you ready?” You called out.

“Yes sir!”

“Okay! Then let’s get riding!”

And with that, the girls were ready to begin the next phase of their riding lesson, all with the help of their “teacher”.

Dividers by @qqmariztwsse

~~baileypie-writes

[mnchrmdrms]

Genya-san Can't Communicate

A new boy has caught Tanjiro's eye. Is this the end of Genya's first love?

Genya is just a little shook right now. He’s gone pale and his hands shake. Tanjiro keeps staring at him with that same worried look. Like he didn’t just drop that bomb on him. He’s standing in the kitchen in his mother’s apartment. Not really the best for this conversation if this is really happening. Tanjiro had mentioned it so easy, while he kneaded bread. I think I have a crush on someone. He’d offered it up, bright-eyed and with a big smile, Genya could feel the love radiating off of him. It makes his stomach knot and his heart sink.

“Um. Are we breaking up?”

“Oh! Oh no. Absolutely not.” Genya watches Tanjiro’s face morph into one of genuine distress, like he can’t believe Genya would think such a thing, let alone say it.

Okay? Cool.

“Uhhhhh, so...did you just wanna let me know or?” Genya asks, looking over at the timer for their second batch of bread.

“I want you to meet him.” Tanjiro says through a mouthful of bread

“Your crush?” He thought this would be a lot more awkward. Leave it to Tanjiro to barrel through.

“Yeah! We’ve been talking for a while. Nothing weird, just getting to know each other. I like him and I think you’ll like him a lot too. So I wanted to know if you’d be willing to meet him? Like if you were comfortable with that.”

“Your crush?” Somehow he feels like he’s intruding.

“Yeah, we talk about you all the time and he said he wanted to meet you! So I told him I’d ask you if we could all hang out.” Tanjiro splits his bread, offering the other half to Genya. He takes it. It’s warm in his hand as he watches Tanjiro.

“Like a date?” Genya asks, taking a chunk out of his bread. His stomach has settled a little. It’s cute that Tanjiro likes to brag about him to anyone and everyone willing to listen.

“Not a date, just hanging out. Just to see what you think about him.” Tanjiro says, leaning onto Genya’s shoulder.

Genya leans back onto the counter, focusing on the weight of the boy next to him. He thought this would be a lot more awkward. He thought he’d be a lot angrier and more insistent that this not happen. But Tanjiro’s arm is wrapped around his bicep and he looks so comfortable while he’s eating his bread. He’s close and warm and staring him down looking for any signs of discomfort and disagreeableness. He seems like he’s still with Genya.

It’s hard to find a reason to say no. He doesn’t really mind it at all. A date with Tanjiro’s crush.

“Knowing you he probably already knows you like ‘im.” Genya muses, tearing another chunk out of the bun Tanjiro handed him.

Tanjiro’s laugh almost drowns out the buzz off the timer.

“Probably.” he says, taking the bread out of the oven

Genya opens the door, taking out the bread and moving to it on the counter

“He’s not a weirdo or anything is he?” Genya asks, with an oven mitt full of hot pan.

“No! He’s nice, I made sure!”

“I don’t know. You know a bunch of weirdos…”

Genya sets the bread pan on the counter, watching the steam rise. He’d made up his mind a while ago, but it’s always cute to see Tanjiro pout.

“Including you.” he prods, leaning into Genya’s space. “Especially you.”

Genya throws a scowl in Tanjiro’s direction. He is completely and totally normal. Compared to all of Tanjiro’s weirdo friends. What kind of disease is beating people up in your sleep anyway? At least do it while you’re awake.

“If he’s so cool and normal why do you want him to me a big weirdo like me?” Genya drags Tanjiro to the couch, plopping down and pulling Tanjiro down with him.

“Because we’re two halves of a whole weirdo!” Tanjiro lays his head on Genya’s chest, fiddling around with the strings of his hoodie

Embarrassing. He lights up, red as a stoplight.

“Then I guess it's fine.” Genya smothers him in his chest, pressing his hand into the lazy curl of his hair.

Tanjiro struggles, fighting his way out of Genya’s grip. He looks happy. Smiling wide and relieved that Genya obliged him so easily.

“I’ll text him and see if he has plans tonight.” Tanjiro says draping himself over Genya’s lap and pulling out his phone “Maybe we should have waited to make the bread.”

Genya makes a noncommittal noise somewhere in the back of his throat, gathering up Tanjiro in his arms and picking him up bridal style.

“He’ll be alright.” Don’t want this asshole gettin’ too comfortable.

“Right! We can just make more.” Tanjiro’s tapping away on his phone. Genya can here chat bubble after chat bubble rise. It’s not nearly as nerve wracking he thought. Tanjiro cuddles closer leaning into the heat bubbling up through Genya’s shirt. “Do you think your mom will mind him coming here?”

“Probably not. So long as we're quiet, I ‘spose.” Genya says, setting Tanjiro in the middle of his crossed legs.

“We should still let her know first…anyway he said he’d come after he’s done studying.”

“Study? It’s break ain’t it? Where are you findin’ these geniuses anyway?”

“He’s a first year where I study apparently.”

“Apparently?” Genya asks pulling out his phone to text his mother.

“I don’t see him often. We meet up in the cafeteria. He’s got a different major.”

“What is it?”

“Pre-med!”

Genya can feel the irritation he’s been looking for bubbling up. He can’t believe Tanjiro’s been talking to some hot pre-med student. He pinches Tanjiro’s cheeks, squeezing and stretching it until it hurts.

“Have I ever seen this guy before?”

Tanjiro jitters, massaging his cheeks.

“I think so! We take selfies together all the time!”

Genya hums, letting all his weight rest on Tanjiro’s back.

“Nap time?”

Genya nods.

Tanjiro’s pre-med friend should be here any second. Over the course of nap time, Genya somehow got added into The Group Chat to end all group chats. Tanjiro has been non stop sending texts to this guy, Genya had to scold him at least once. The dude’s trying to study. Let him be great. The other guy has been quiet studious. Rarely replying and when he does it's full of kaomojis and proper punctuation. Apparently there’s an app for that. Genya hasn’t joined in on the conversation and quite frankly doesn’t have the guts to. He doesn’t have a name and at this point he’s too afraid to ask, he might’ve missed it earlier when Tanjiro asked him to meet this dude. About 30 minutes ago this med student said he was switching trains and now Genya waits with the worst scary movie he could find. He feels like he should change out of his PJs, at least try to make a good impression. For Tanjiro’s sake, but he also can’t bring himself to care. He’s never met this guy anyway. He may never see him again after this.

Either way he has pizza, all his siblings are in bed, and his pajama pants are soft and a present from Tanjiro, so it's fine. Tanjiro’s the one who has to go and get him anyway. His mind has been wandering, he’s got medical school money, and Tanjiro’s got a thing for big guys. He’s probably hot. Tall and built just like him. It’s kinda exciting. As long as Tanjiro is still with him he doesn’t mind another piece being thrown in the mix. But they need to establish who the hot one is. Just in case.

The knock is so quiet he almost doesn’t hear it. Polite, obviously comes from money with those manners. Notifications ring out, Pre-Med is on the other side of the door.

“You’re not gonna answer your own door?”

Genya keeps prodding his back with the ball of his foot

“You’re the worst!”

Surely Tanjiro understands this is for the best. Pre-med needs a friendly face to greet him. Genya isn’t the easiest dude to look at, he might run off after all that.

The first thing he hears is Tanjiro greet him, excited and familiar, but still polite. Then the click of door, and he stands to get ready to give a proper tour of his mother’s apartment.

“This is Genya!” Tanjiro says, running over to stand next to him. He grabs Genya’s hand, pulling his arm to rest around his shoulder. Genya turns to greet Mr. Pre-Med.

“Eve—” there’s approximately no one there. Mr. Pre-Med isn’t tall at all, he’s actually very small. Small and cute. Just a little shorter than Tanjiro and practically swimming in the big, beige sweater he’s wearing. His eyes are big and he looks happy to be there, if just a little fearful. Round face, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. He is also coming closer. Or he is going closer to him. Tanjiro is no longer with him, pulling him forward to greet Mr. Pre-Med.

“Genya, this is Senjuro! He likes scary movies, but he scares easily so keep an eye out for him!”

Senjuro is smiling at him, looking up at him. He’s cute.

“Hello!” Senjuro sounds quite peppy, a little quiet, but peppy.

Genya freezes. Locks up and turns bright red. This guy is just the right size to lay his head on his chest. He’s wearing tights with that big ass sweater. He’s absolutely adorable.

Senjuro looks to Tanjiro, who’s looking directly at Genya, realization slowly dawning on him.

“Um...it’s nice to meet you.” Senjuro bows politely, self-consciously. His legs a slender, he is probably very slender underneath his big ass sweater. His socks have dogs on them.

Shit.

Genya turns on a heel, preparing to put everyone out his damn house. He can’t do this. He’s already embarrassed himself. He’s forfeited Tanjiro to the cute pre-med student.

“Oh……….Genya………That is adorable.”

Tanjiro won’t shut the hell up. His laughter is loud and raucous and Senjuro looks so confused and terrified that he’s the butt of a terrible, horrible joke.

“Um…” Senjuro looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

Tanjiro comes through quick, barely containing his laughter as he guides Senjuro to sit on the couch.

“Senjuro-kun, Genya thi——” Genya crushes the last few words under his palm, clamping a hand around his mouth and the ugly laughter is back. Spilling through the cracks between his fingers. Tanjiro licks a long, wet line over the palm of Genya’s hand. He scrambles behind Senjuro, keeping him between Genya and himself. Genya can barely look in Senjuro’s direction, let alone barrell through him to get to Tanjiro. It’s dirty, but Senjuro must know the truth. If they don’t want this to be awkward. Genya stays red, plopping down on the floor and staying there.

“Senjuro-kun,” Tanjiro whispers it, sweetly, but conspiratorial “Genya has a bit of a problem with cute people. He’s shy and it gets hard for him to speak. So please be patient with him.”

Senjuro lights up, full of understanding and patience. Genya can hear him taking a deep breath, like he’s steeling himself to speak to him. He’s too damn cute. Between this one and Tanjiro. He won’t survive the movie, let alone the night. It’s not too late for him to change it. To a comedy or, better yet, a documentary, something boring that no one will laugh at or get scared over or—

“Genya-san,” Senjuro says, resting a hand on his shoulder, it’s small and soft. “I’m the same, so we can work on it together. Let’s do our best.” Genya turns to him and laid upon the angelic face of Senjuro is a small, reassuring smile and a thumbs up. Tanjiro hums in agreeance next to him, sweet and playful, chin resting on Genya’s waist.

He is not going to make it.

Lay him to rest. Cause of death: Sweet Boys.

[fachefaucheux]

WriteFest! // Days 4-14 + Genre Musings and Inat

So, I’m behind.

As of this morning, I’m at 45k. Which is great! Awesome! That is objectively an asston of words. Probably half a novel, if I was a normal person who wrote normal word count stories. Unfortunately, I’m supposed to be closing in on 75k. So…not great. But seeing as how we’ve all been living through A Hell Of A Time, especially last week, I’m not going to beat myself up over it too much. I’ve only had one day where I skipped writing entirely. (At least in terms of drafting…I did edit a full chapter that day, which is probably why I wrote nothing, because editing is the absolute worst.) And one day off over 2 weeks is…uh, hopefully not our future vision of a leisurely and unproductive pace, lol.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself as a writer is that I’m pretty damn inconsistent. Or, well, not just as a writer, but just on the whole. I’ve never been the kind of person who can stick to a “do something every day at the same time for the same amount of time” scheme. Of course, I have some sort of routine — humans are creatures of habit, we all fall into some kind of pattern. Mine is just very “vibes based”, so to speak. Some days, I’ll fall into the writing zone and barf up 10k worth of nonsense. Other days, I’m feeling the research side of things, or just feel like reading someone else’s work to get a fresh perspective. (I am never vibing with editing. Editing is always torture. But that’s for another post.)

I’ve never been able to follow a rulebook. I am a hopeless contrarian, oftentimes to my own detriment. In Serbia, there’s a sort of…hmm, cultural mindset, maybe? It’s called inat. Sometimes it gets translated as spitefulness, other times as stubbornness or perseverance. 

Your friends, your family, everyone tells you that doing something is a bad idea. But now you want to do it even more than when you asked for their advice, because what do they know? That’s inat. Some judgmental person tells you you’ll never be good at something, so then you throw out everything else in your life and grind at that one thing until you’re objectively skilled, just because that asshole told you you’d never make it. That’s also inat. It’s that “fuck you, I’ll do what I want” spirit, sometimes taken to unhelpful ends.

My Serbian language teacher once asked me why I was keeping my watchband held together with a band-aid instead of going to the shop she’d recommended to get a replacement, and I shrugged and said, “well, you know, I’ve been busy lately.” She smiled and shook her finger at me and said, “I see, you’re becoming a real Serbian now. Soon you’ll be skipping your lessons and telling me “the only thing I have to do in life is die!”

To be frank, she called my bluff pretty well. And maybe that’s why I didn’t have too many problems adjusting during my year in Belgrade. Because I’d been following inat long before I acquired my weird fixation on the Balkans.

This leads me to the genre problem.

I’ve always come at genre from the perspective that it exists more for the reader than the writer — a way of lumping together vaguely similar story elements and types so that readers can find the kinds of books they want to read. And I’m well aware of its connection to marketing, as much as I despise marketing with every fiber of my being. You drill down to the exact core of readers who you want to enjoy your book, you write for them, then you sell it to them. Or something. Like I said, I hate marketing, so I haven’t invested much time into it. (Probably because someone once told me it was important, and I was like, fuck you! I’ll ignore it. Inat in action.)

I wandered into both Canticle and the Niv/Yule story arc (which I really need to find a proper title for, instead of just shamelessly stealing a bunch of song titles and lyrics…) not from the perspective of “I want to write x genre of story”, but more from the perspective of “these two idiots would make for a fun couple, I wonder how they get from point A to point B?”. Most of the other elements — magic, angels/demons, whatever my passing historical fixation was at the time — came along for the ride because I just thought they were neat and fun. Which makes for an interesting story (or so I’ve been told), but not one that fits into the best genre boxes.

Take Canticle, for example. It’s really in some sort of genre black hole. There’s not enough historical immersion for it to be a true historical story, but at the same time, historical circumstance (the aftermath of the English Civil War, Louis XIV’s court, modernizing Europe) plays a big role in the themes and attitudes in it. It’s got some of the elements of your usual epic fantasy — empires and kingdoms and armies and the world in peril — but, uh, it’s not very action-forward, seeing as how most of what the reader sees are not the battles themselves but the aftermath in the infirmary. 

Even when it comes to romance, it’s not quite there. I’ve always thought of it as a romance at its core, because my only driving force when I first started drafting it was answering the question of “how did Gen and Mirk get together?”, but it doesn’t really follow the standard romance plot beats. The uncomfortable position I usually find myself in when discussing the story with other writers or workshopping chapters is that it doesn’t have enough romance for the romantasy readers/writers, and not enough fantasy action/too much relationship nonsense for the general fantasy readers/writers.

So, what am I supposed to do with it when it does come time to do the dreaded marketing? Or the even more dreaded editing? I suppose I could cut and edit to make it fit neater into one or two specific genre boxes, but, well. I feel that would kill the spirit of the story that the small band of readers (for whom I am eternally grateful) seems to find appealing. At the end of the day, I’m probably going to bank more on trope-based tagging and advertising guiding the sort of readers who’d appreciate it to the story. (Also, inat. You want me to make this fit into your genre requirements? Fuck you! I do what I want! Even if it means no one reads the damn thing!)

It’s hard for me to identify the genre of the story, but the dynamics are clear. The slow burn, it is glacial. The grumpy x sunshine is on point. And hurt/comfort? You want that? Canticle has it for…uh…centuries, lol. And, to be honest, I tend to look for dynamics/tropes in the books I read more than I do genre. I’ll read a contemporary or a sci-fi or a western, anything to get another dose of that black cat x golden retriever dynamic that I find so appealing (and can’t seem to keep out of anything I write). 

Anyway, enough blathering! And back to chipping away at my word count deficit! Since, you know, speaking of black cat x golden retriever…I’ve got another chapter of Mushroom Picking Season to write. 

[findingtruenorth23]

Together

Sebastian x GN!MC

Summary: At the end of fifth year, MC finds Sebastian in the Undercroft. First person POV. Started from a prompt: “Do you think you’ll ever trust me again?”

Spoilers for the Sebastian Sallow quest line! I’ll probably post this on the big three in a few days. You guys get to see it first so let me know what you think!

Content: SFW, mentions of death/murder, a bit of angst

“Do you think you’ll ever trust me again?”

The question hung in the air between us like something volatile that could explode at any moment. Sebastian watched me, chocolate brown eyes no longer hiding the pain and trauma he’d doubtlessly become so good at hiding over the years. There was no longer a bit of mischief to the set of his lips or a teasing quirk to his brow. His shoulders were slumped as if in defeat, his hands hanging limply at his sides as he made no effort to conceal the weight of his reality.

Ominis had wanted to report him for murdering his uncle, and perhaps that was the right course of action, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Sebastian had been there for me time and time again over this past year. The truth was, I had been wooed by the Dark Arts as much as he had been in the end. If he hadn’t known how to cast the Cruciatus Curse, we would’ve died a horribly slow death, after all. When I’d brought that up with Ominis, he’d reminded me that we never should have attempted to gain access to the Scriptorium in the first place, but I could tell it was an uncomfortable truth for him. Perhaps it was for all of us, and that was why Ominis had yielded to my pleas to spare his oldest friend from a life that could include a life sentence to Azkaban. He’d written Anne, and she had agreed that only the four of us would ever know about what happened in the catacomb.

The end of fifth year was upon us all, and the Hogwarts Express would travel back to London the next day. I’d spent most of the day walking around the castle, remembering how overwhelmed I’d felt in my first days versus the last ones. The person who’d stepped foot inside this castle back in September was my complete opposite now. There was no more innocence, no more excited feelings, and my uncertainty now was focused on how I could possibly go back to normal after all that had happened. One of the last places I’d deigned to visit was the Undercroft. I didn’t know why I’d thought I’d be alone in my desire to go there. I shouldn’t have been surprised to find that mischievous Slytherin fifth-year there, as well. He’d been leaning against a pillar, clearly lost in thought, when I’d arrived, and when I’d apologized and started to leave, he’d insisted it was all right for me to stay. The only reason I had was because of a vulnerability I sensed in the air that made me worry what might happen should I leave him alone there.

At first, our conversation had strayed no further than the mundane, talking about how we’d fared on our O.W.L.s and some of the somewhat hilarious study rituals we’d seen in the days leading up to them. It almost felt like the friendship we’d maintained throughout the year, but our usual camaraderie was gone. I could hardly be surprised. We’d barely spoken since the catacomb. His question was starkly in contrast with any of our previous dialogue, and it caught me off guard.

I hadn’t realized how long the silence had stretched between us until Sebastian shifted, wringing his hands, and looking down at them. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry. I never should have dragged you into any of this. I… I hope one day you’ll at least forgive me… for all of this.”

My heart broke at the smallness of his voice, and how it cracked a bit at the end. My hand reached for his, which were still clasped together. I squeezed them gently in reassurance. He looked up at me, eyes uncertain. “We will get through this. You will get through this,” I told him.

“I don’t know if I can.” It was honest, vulnerable, as he averted his gaze to the floor. “It’s all my fault.”

I chewed the inside of my lip, knowing that he wasn’t wrong but not wanting to make things worse. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. After a moment, he buried his face in my neck as his arms looped around my waist. His body shook against mine, overtaken by emotions he’d doubtlessly been holding back for weeks. I felt tears in my own eyes as the gravity of everything that had happened in the past year set in for the first time. We stood there, arms entwined around each other, for what seemed hours, until his tears subsided, and he lifted his head to look at me. His arms remained around me, though, and our faces were only inches apart. My breath caught in my throat as I searched his eyes in question.

“Thank you.” He managed the slightest of smiles.

I returned it sadly, pushing down the feeling that we were too close as I patted his check affectionately. “It’s what friends are for,” I assured him, unable to keep myself from emphasizing the word “friend,” though I wasn’t quite sure that was the appropriate term.

He squeezed me slightly before his hands dropped to his sides again, still looking unsure of himself but not wallowing in his despair like he had been when I’d found him.

“Promise me you’ll write over the summer?”

He didn’t meet my eyes, but his lips quirked ever so slightly. “Look for my owl.”

I wasn’t entirely convinced but decided to let it go. “I’ve heard my whole life that everything happens for a reason.”

His chocolate brown gaze met mine.

“I don’t know if it’s true. Perhaps if it is…” I sighed, stepping forward to clasp his arms, our eyes still locked. “I think time heals us all. I don’t know what these next months or years hold for us, but we’ll conquer it side by side. I swear it.” My hands slipped down his arms, moving to clasp his hands again. “I’m not going anywhere,” I promised with a soft smile.

His eyes took on an intensity I didn’t have time to identify before it was replaced by gratitude. He drew a deep breath. “Together?”

“Together,” I repeated.