#bc it was the soundtrack of a very specific part of my life. also people by hillsong bc that was like. my whole brain summer 2019 shdksbdhf

[honest-kdrama-reviews]

Review #9: Twinkling Watermelon

WARNING: THIS POST DEF CONTAINS SPOILERS. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE DRAMA. (I will do my best to label spoilers, but I’m not perfect.)

Oh, we are SO BACK!!!

After a One Direction-esq hiatus, I have returned with my wit and thirst to discuss a drama that I loved.

✨Twinkling Watermelon✨

Of course, this wouldn’t be one of my reviews without the…

THIRST CORNER!!!!

I am being so fr when I say this man is gorgeous. His smile takes up his entire face and it makes me giggle and kick my feet every single time. Choi Hyun-Wook is not only so handsome but he plays the role of a kind, charming, stubborn and extremely loud 18 year old so well. Like, I think casting him for that role was the actual perfect choice.

Let’s just take a moment to look at him 🥰

LIKE THAT SMILE COULD MELT ME IN AN INSTANT

(Also this scene was so cute like he’s so in love pls)

Okay anyway, moving on.

The cast of this drama was actually just way too cute in general. I caught myself so many times watching with the goofiest grin on my face as they all lowkey fell in love fr fr for the first time.

The plot and storyline was so interesting! I really love how they made Sign Language a central part and really shone a light on how difficult it is for deaf people in Korea specifically.

Also, time travel seems to be a trend in recent k-dramas (I’m not mad about it buuut. A Time Called You and Lovely Runner 👀)

Similarly to 25/21 I think they took advantage of the fact that Y2K fashion is popular rn and set most of the drama in 1995. It’s cool to see the similarities!

I think it’s hard to keep my attention for very long when watching dramas if the plot has a lot of filler, which this seemed to have in the middle. It took me a while to get through (the last like six episodes were so engaging tho).

So I felt very meh for the first 15 episodes and then episode 16 had me bawling every five minutes. A huge jump, I know.

(SPOILER) Lee Chan coming to terms with not being able to achieve his dreams while he was under in surgery actually kinda broke me as a person. I was not okay. Also when his grandma comes and they cry together :(. I had to actually pause and take a minute. I was not okay!!

I LOVED the way it ended, though. Eun Gyeol felt like he had failed just bc (SPOILER) Lee Chan still lost his hearing, but seeing the positive impacts that he made really warmed my heart. Like yes, his family had been content and happy before. But now things were so much better and his mom was able to thrive because she hadn’t been abused as long.

The soundtrack went back and forth between being boring and going so INCREDIBLY HARD. The cover they did of 볽은 노을 has been stuck in my head for days and I found the OG version on Spotify and I love it. Also, A Song For You makes me feel so nostalgic for my youth for some reason. I wanna never forget all of my shining moments.

That’s honestly what I walked away with from this drama. I want my youth (and my life in general) to shine so brightly in my memory. I wanna make the most of the time I have so that one day I can smile and know I lived.

Viva La Vida :)

My Rating for this drama is a solid: 9/10. (Definitely in my K-Drama top 20)

Reminder that these are simply my opinions. If this is your favorite drama, I don’t mean to offend you. Feel free to put what you loved/didn’t love in the comments. Just be kind and remember that everyone like different dramas. Also please be nice to me, I am but a normal person. :)

[owlets-outlet]

apparently a kdrama with a female autistic lead came out?? so my autistic ass is gonna watch it and let you know how good it is.

ok so first of all. i feel like this is the first kdrama with an autistic lead ever??? and she´s female too??? LOVE. IT. i am also not expecting perfect rep tho, because its... a kdrama. cmon.

episode 1:

things i disliked:

-first and foremost: the whole “oh no, shes autistic :(( horrible news for me as a dad...” thing is just not the vibe. props to him being a loving father tho

-the whole autistic genius thing is overdone by now

-her geniality somehow “made it better to bear” that shes autistic?? mm

-she´s played by a neurotypical actress. i personally dont care that much, especially considering that SK is a small country and its hard to look for autistic actors, but still

-she´s very much the autistic stereotype that we all know. again, nothing i hate too much, because the fact that theres an autistic female lead in a kdrama is a huge step

-occassionally in the outro graphics and in some of the soundtrack, there are elements of infantilization. guys pls dont play silly music while the mc is forced to relive childhood trauma and her personal space is being violently invaded by an angry, screaming man, thank you.

-this one im conflicted about: ocd like symptoms. yes, autistic people do sometimes who them, but sometimes autistic people have ocd as a separate disorder. also its a stereotypical symptom. but its okay i guess.

things i liked:

-the story is told through her perspective. we also get her narration sometimes, revealing that she is a three dimensional person, just cant express some parts outwardly.

-ramblessssss! theyre p good actually

-she is her own person, capable of making her own decisions and doesnt need saving. she is capable of expressing and communicating her needs. (unless shes having a meltdown, or overstimulated. many people on the spectrum cant, and thats okay, but im glad she has agency, ok,it doesnt happen often in media) only needs support when things get unbearable. very nice.

-law isn´t her special interest, whales are! many shows make the persons special interest their whole personality, glad they branched out lol

-accurate representation of overstimulation and anxiety in public spaces

-connected to the last point, her coping mechanisms and stims are accurate to real life and relatable: noise cancel headphones with white noise, pacing when stressed to ground herself, finger stimming...

-stims actually dont look a caricature!! even though they´re basic and stereotypical, they are real and not overexaggerated

-represents sensory issues well, they arent basic, but personalized to her, which is great! for example: her dad removes all tags from her clothes bcs they bother her, she has a specific safe food (bibimbap)

-lack of empathy is handled well too. she uses logic to determine how others may feel, but it is shown that its something she had to learn! very good

-also!! she. has emotions, just doesnt express them the way other people would!!

-a big one: THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF HER INSIDE WORLD ISNT TRIGGERING TO ME. it still may be to some people, but, unlike the music movie (ew), it isnt bright, flashing and fast paced: its flowing, with neutral, soft colors and calm noises

-her and her best friend are the perfect adhd and autism solidarity

-her aversion to touch seems to be handled well so far: she learns to tolerate it, not like it (thank god), for the sake of comforting other people (not to please them, but only when needed)

-its a kdrama. shes getting a love interest. an autistic person being treated as an adult?? with a love interest?? DAMN (the bar is on the floor, huh)

i will update this as i make my way further through the episodes, but im cautiously optimistic so far!

[boojersey]

☕ fave mcr eras and albums?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OKAY OKAY I LIKE THIS ONE AND HOPE NO ONE HATES ME FOR MY ORDER BUT

1. revenge (obviously i mean look at me i am drenched in black and red at all times and gerards hair was just so nice) specific parts include flour face gerard and that photoshoot with the blood covering his hand in a building with brick walls and arches it looked like a church basement and the vampire one for kerrang where its a girls back and theyre covered in blood and hes biting her neck hehe, reasoning for it being my favorite is it has only one song i skip (ghost of you) and every other has a lot more that i usually do and just how theatric and dramatic but also edgy everything was, tbp is more theatric BUT theres more Hope vibes and this is that but with despair and blood and guns and coffins and that just appeals to me fundamentally way more especially when im in my bag. it probably has my most favorite songs too, like to the end cemetery drive jetset life and HANG EM HIGH OR MOTHERFUCKING DIE. maybe my favorite mcr song but im not thinking too hard when i say that

pic of my closet below lmao two of my favorite drawings ive done (theyre for sale wink wink! dm me if interested anyone, gerard is blacklight reactive)

2. bullets, its just so suburban i feel like I'm back in Jersey its October and im walking past cul de sacs and the sunset is bright fucking orange its fantastic its art in every sense and its full of sorrow bc its the closest album chronologically to 9/11 and gerard had the least sureness in the future but he was so confident and it just bleeds into everything so hard, my favorite moments in life are majorly moments similar to what i described. wearing a hoodie and jeans and converse and observing the way the streetlights color the concrete and asphalt, especially if theres been rain. chinese food from family restaurants and rolling rock beer and sitting at neighborhood playgrounds on the swingset rocking back and forth with the carbonation buzzing in your brain. favorite moments include the pic of frank and gerard smoking on pool chairs and that pic of them in some grandmas house with wooden walls and a china and tchotchke cabinet and lace curtains and im pretty sure mikeys sitting on the leg of a couch.it was my desktop bg for a year or two.

3. black parade; i really appreciate the death topic and i will admit i struggle to get on the Hope wavelength throughout esp in famous last words ykno the keep on living part but there are some of my favorite fucking demos like emily and all the angels and im Pretty surE desert song but smack my ass and call me a moron if its wrong. i will say visually other than the marching band outfits its the least interesting era, the white hair was just kinda there to me and no one else had anything outstandingly russling my jimmies. frank did have some cute hair curls on his bangs tho sometimes. i do rlly like the whole haunted vibe tho bc of the paramounts effect on them tho, when i notice it in songs and lyrics it is pretty effective in makin my spine straighten with the hollow eyed, sleepless and frankly a little scared nervous energy. house of wolves has been in my rotation the past month or so bc it reminds me of trevor gta a lot. wttbp i skip every time just about. i save that song for when people are trying to be emo allies and queue it on the aux or when it comes on the radio or in public. blood is AMAZING and reminds me a lot of the song air from the hair soundtrack, and i wonder if gerard was trying to specifically mimic that songs vibe because if u ask me thats very gerard. i think overall the concept and the lore of the album's fruition appeal to me more than anything else, i also love mother war and some of the other various character designs.

4. current era; im saying this because foundations of decay is literally that promising of a single and the shows' outfits are so wonderful and the energy and love and happiness is just so fucking palpable that i already know this is where the new album is gonna sit for me. its gonna be so fucking good. we all know this so well. favorites include nurse gerard the mikey fuckin way shirts and that slicked back hair gerard mmf yum

5. danger days; im SORRRY i just. the songs only appeal to me on a surface level aside from destroya and i always just get rlly bad feelings when i see pics of gerard bc i know he said he was starving himself and it makes me :/ more than anything else seeing him. i feel Bad saying he looked hot. this is also the only album with songs i actively dislike within. i will say that when i say i like destroya. i fucking Love destroya. its so good its so fucking good its everything to me. OH and im gonna include the killjoys comic in this and say that even though i love it so fucking much its not enough to put it above current era. its not that i dislike danger days. its that every other era is so strong compared in my mind that since something has to be last it will be this. favorite moments include the videos of them behind the scenes for na na na laughing and having fun the photoshoot with the backdrop where they're all underneath it and gerard looks like a fucking otherworldly being level insane like hes made of porcelain and the mv shots of them in the trans am at night especially going in the tunnel speeding ass out of town. i will add that i discovered mcr thru sing bc it was on a rhythm game i owned at 11 and i still remember the two days before mcr broke up when i finally remembered to give them a listen and openly cried watching them all die in the killjoy vids so theres a nostalgic rawness that part of me wants to leave preserved like an artifact at a museum.

anyway novel over those are my full thoughts on the mcr eras

things i didnt mention that i shouldve include the bat buckle the infamous stage kiss the spitting and gerard palming his cock through his jeans on stage lmao

oh also dewees is great and needs more recognition

[fortunemars]

FRIENDS

URGENT (not really, medium urgent)

Im writing a script for a (kinda long) short film and I am desperately searching for music that is anywhere near the tone of the script but unfortunately YouTube and even spotify don't know how to sort genres correctly (fuckin bonkers. What do you mean THE MUSIC APP doesn't know how any genres and doesn't know how to put together playlists that are what they say they are!!!)

The general idea of the script is that we're watching a kid grow up (starting at abt 5, kindergarten age) until they're about 18 (not sure about that, might have it end a couple years after, I'll get to it). It's going to be a bunch of snapshots of this kid's life as they grow up, put into sections marked by birthdays! It's (planned to be) filmed in a very home made way, as if a parent is recording these snapshots of their kid so they can all look back on it later.

The general tone is gonna be happy, there will be some sad parts in the actual film but those aren't the main point. Any of me talking abt making the viewers sad is more "make them sad bc they're seeing this life go by so fast". Like how people (me) cry at slideshows of random moments in a kids life leading up to a big event...

Ahem, page break bc the actual point of this post is going to be long. Below the break is the list of music I'm looking for!! (Doesn't need to be copyright free, I'm mostly looking for inspiration music rn)

SO, I'm looking for music to fit a few vibes, im probably gonna make different playlists in general, but here are The Needs

General note: (I'd prefer songs with an "indie" vibe -- meaning songs without big technical instruments like synths or electric guitar riffs lol, I don't think any pop or metal type music would fit here)

- anti-folk (excluding folk-punk. A little confusing sorry! Think of the Juno soundtrack or most of kimya dawson. It's really that bright and happy, vibrant sounding music that I need)

- folk (general, soft guitar and no harsh vocals, famous songs are good too! Something that ppl would feel like they know even if they don't. Nostalgia country... Think "time in a bottle" - Jim Croce. I need that down to earth, slow and chill music yk?)

- folk-rock (are you seeing a pattern?) (Also idk if this is the right term, for this I mean music like The Lumineers, Vance Joy, the kind of music you'd hear on the radio around 2010-2016 but NON EXPLICIT) (there is a concerning amount of music we listened to as kids that was just. Just about sex. Wack)

- kids music! (By this I mean specific recordings of nostalgic kids songs, not just nursery rhymes tho! This is the real "devastate the viewers" music. My example for this is "little bird little bird" by Elizabeth Mitchell, though I'd like any kind of recorded kids songs! Double points if there's a kid singing in them.)

+ I want to say classical but I don't know how to explain the kind I'm looking for? Something that you could listen to while reading a book in a field???

+ generally calm or chill music! Piano, guitar, harmonica, and soft vocals.

I don't have any other ideas currently but yeah! If anyone has any music (single songs or playlists!!) I will accept anything!!!! I'm just looking for ANYTHING to help me focus on this writing bc I really wanna get this script done 😭😭😭

[fakeoutbf]

helloooos ✨

big agree about tightrope being on a wedding playlist because it's just so. tender. especially the way he sings "something told me it was you" in four different ways and tones in the chorus makes me wanna sob 🤧 and i don't even want think about the parallels between "we are who we are when we're alone" and "cause we are who we are when no one's watching" from i won't mind 😭😭

i completely get you because i'm just very weird when it comes to people. i always tend to end up in slightly bigger groups of people and it's like a dream sequence when i'm with them and it's all so happy and fun but at the same time there'll be days when i just feel so overwhelmed by all the social interaction that i just want it to be a bit quiet for some time. and god, i love winters so much, but i hate that it comes with this unrealistic yearning to just have someone you love by your side, just to hold you for a little while 😔

the thing about van gogh, and bear in mind this is my minimalistic knowledge, is how much he represents most artists and how much you need to feel to create art, specifically pain. i know i'm making a bold statement here, but i feel like every piece of art is tinged with slight emotion of pain and melancholia and that's sort of what makes it so comforting and i think he was able to capture those two feelings and juxtapose it into nature really well 🤍

god yeah i love how there's always so much to know when it comes to different countries and their cultures and it always frustrates me to no end how i'll never be able to learn it all in a lifetime. especially languages!

friendship to me would be a soft cream shade, because it's neutral and you can always build up on it by colouring it in with whatever colour another person makes you feel. love to me is blue and the vastness it represents and how when you love someone, you can learn to love them everyday and how you're always falling in love no matter how long you've known this person because people change and grow too 💙

if your life so far were to be made into a movie, what songs would you like to be part of the soundtrack for it? also, what actor would you like to play you in the movie?

sending you hugs and warmth 🫶

- s 💌

hi 🫶🏻

i was doomed from the first time i listened to tightrope bc no other song feels as tender and soft and full of love. it’s just so warm it makes me want to cover myself up in a blanket and be safe. and zayn’s vocals are always angelic but singing ballads?? it’s just another level completely. i’d completely forgotten about i won’t mind oh my god you’re so right 😭😭

for me, it always takes me the longest time to open up to someone. it’s easier if i have an excuse to see them everyday and just gradually get to know them. i don’t trust easily and i don’t dive in head first, so i always struggle to meet people who actually have the patience to get to know me. i have friends now that i love and trust but i don’t see them so often that we’re incredibly close. and i’m starting to have work friends which is nice but they don’t really know me yet. sometimes i just wish it was easier to know someone and be able to trust them but i also haven’t gone to therapy so i know it won’t happen that easy. either way, idk if it’s bc it’s winter or just overall my week’s been very hectic, but i wish i could just talk to someone and cuddle with them and just have them take care of me for a bit. it sucks being stuck in your head 90% of the time.

i agree with your thoughts on van gogh and i actually had a teacher tell me that he thought van gogh was incredibly depressing, which i agree and i think is one of the reasons i’m drawn to him as such. to take all this burden and sorrow and pain and sadness and everything else he had going on in his head and interpret it to create such masterpieces. i also think a lot of his nature paintings, especially the ones that have fields and meadows etc, have this feeling of loneliness and solitude. some food for thought i guess. i’d love to see them in person to actually capture their true essence firsthand.

if i could i would love to understand at least five more languages than i do currently. i don’t have the words for it right now but something something grasping the true meaning of art and culture through its original language 😪

oh i love that each friendship to you might change shades! that’s a lovely thought. i never think about all the ways my relationships are different with each person i know, but it makes sense that no two friendships would be exactly the same. and honestly, i’d never thought of love blue like an ocean. it’s a beautiful comparison. i dream of feeling love like that someday 💙

oh that’s a hard one! i feel like it’d be a very boring movie, but alas. there ofc has to be some 1d in there, probably some the 1975 and hozier and most definitely some florence and the machine, most likely dog days are over. i’ll have to think on specific songs a bit more. as far as actors go, off the top of my head maybe saoirse ronan? not bc i look anything like that but i just adore the way she acts. and while i’m at it, why not maybe andrew garfield as well? i’d love that for me. what about you? which songs/artists would make the cut and who would you like to play you?

i hope you had a lovely weekend and i hope next week is nice and calm and easy 💖💞💓💗💕💝

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

!!!! . 13? 19? 49? 31 and 32?

when was the last time you ate?

I'm eating a snack right now, actually 😂

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

YES. YES I WOULD. yes let's have a sleepover

can you skip rocks?

is this because of my "throwing stones and hoping some skip" expression whenever I write meta? shskdhssk yes I can skip rocks, it's fun!!

what type of music keeps you grounded?

oh hm I think that depends?? usually it's worship music i listened to when I was younger (I have a whole playlist lol) or stuff like Andrew Peterson or Andy Gullahorn (Rabbit Room folks, yknow), but also specifically this song sometimes:

do you have a favorite towel?

nope not really

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/15/22

huh my original fun little quip got eaten. whatever. come for a turn about the garden with me as opposed to our leisurely long ramble

listening the Franz Ferdinand song The Fallen off the album You Could Have It So Much Better.

LOVE a jaunty rollicking hook. LOVE some stupid little bible puns. no real chorus in this one but some fun phrases to shout in a car while you’re doing an inadvisable speed down a turnpike

Did I see you in a limousine Flinging out the fish and the unleavened 

and i have had to Really Think about how to pronounced “unleavened” ever since. does NOT rhyme with “limousine” in the common vernacular

undefined

oh right how did i find this: i went to high school from 2010-2013 okay this band was unavoidable, popped up in my sp*tify releases bc they rereleased it. think i originally originally discovered it from a CD at the library, specifically (sigh) the tim burton take on alice in wonderland’s soundtrack, they did a song about the lobster quadrille iirc? as was my wont, i promptly ripped that cd to my ipod touch and then went back and looked up more albums of the artists i particularly liked. and here we are today.

reading lobdell and rocafort’s red hood and the outlaws. i am part way through the third collected volume out of seven or eight, bc batman comics reliably turn my brain off at night. not that they make me sleepy, but i’m just invested enough in them to want to read them but also be able to put them down at random. if that makes sense.

the art in this thing is pretty great. very bad chronic case of tits and ass (not even equal opportunity tits and ass, which is a shame), but the linework is crisp as hell. i don’t really remember how i came across this, it’s been on my list for a while but got bumped up to the top bc i cannot yet pirate a good quality cam of The Battinson.

watching just as fnv is baby’s first leftist video game, i feel like ds9 is baby’s first leftist tv series? even tho sisko is not Not a cop? anyway i am fully “wow cool space station!” about this show (did i make that joke last week? i don’t care). i’m on s2e5 and bashir is. bashir is trying. he’s in his first job out of med school and he’s twenty eight and an idiot. he is slightly more of an idiot that me, who is twenty seven and in her first job postgrad.

also watching killing eve and losing my whole fucking mind but what else is new??? ep 1 has been out for a full month so i do not feel these are spoilers: did not super care for s2 and s3 but watching eve slowly become more and more and more like carolyn is delicious. also love her progression of bond girls and boys. love a bisexual disaster who goes “this is what i want and i’m doing it” with no real thought to if the thing she wants Is Actually the thing she wants. DELICIOUS you’re doing amazing eve

also the fact that villanelle did a born again christian thing to try to persuade eve she’s a good person? even is not religious why would that convince her??? did villanelle literally google “how to be a good person” and show up at the nearest church??? what a delightful mental image

these two shows could not be more different and i am having an outsized reaction to them this week bc i’m playtesting a bunch of really insipid stuff for work and it’s nice to be like! oh! these are grownup shows for grownups with lots of conflict and gray areas!!!! good for my brain!

playing love on the peacock express, the mystery train milf dating sim. love trains, love milfs. content specifically for me. it took me about one lunch hour to play through four endings, so i assume for people with a normal reading speed who don’t habitually skim it’s more like a three-hour dealio.

this is a light romance with some incidental mystery instead of a mystery-solving visual novel, which i do not think the itch.io page is great at conveying. you do get handed the mystery as you go along, but it’s a solid little visual novel with all the quality of life tweaks one expects from a much larger team. i admire this game’s commitment to not giving you icon customization. you’re a private investigator, that’s what you look like, deal with it. all the ladies’ routes are fun (i liked the butch’s route best bc i am a simple woman, there are platonic and romantic endings) and the bonus hidden route dipped the most into the private investigator schtick i think. pwyw on itch.

how did i find this?: a tumblr post from the devs i can no longer find :(

also i am obliged to point out the ukraine game bundle with some big fuckin names (celeste! fatum betula! wandersong! baba is you! the sword lesbian ttrpg!) and note that some of these folks are my dayjob clients but i cannot tell you which ones

making i made some more curtains but i’m unhappy with them. did finish the kitchen ones tho and attached all the fucking pom pom trim and AM happy with that set. also put up a knife strip but that’s not very photogenic. once i figure out how much the next round of doctor’s appointments is going to cost, my next unwise kitchen purchase will be whetstones.

[centralsaints]

mcl headcanon masterpost pt.1 - armin

let's start this off with my long term favourites; the twins. this is armin's part, and alexy is next!

will start this with his full name being armin frederic lemaire

if you name a joint, he has probably dislocated it at least once in his life. he’s always been hypermobile, having chronic pain (mistaken as growing pains) and fatigue, being prone to dislocation. that later becomes a diagnosis of hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome.

that makes him also prone to getting migraines and headaches regularly, explaining the whole hating bright lights thing

he has had an eating disorder on and off since he was about 15; partly diagnosed, he meets the criteria for OSFED, so his ed is a bit. weird and all over the place. it’s mostly periods of restriction with a fear/disgust of food, followed by periods of binging and eating more or less normally. he’s closer to atypical bulimia, in terms of specifics, because the binge/purge episodes aren’t that frequent. he went inpatient once, and still jokes about how he was the only guy there. only his family knows about his eating issues as of now.

another thing about the ed is that it was already kind of in the making when alexy had his unaliving attempt, but that was really what kickstarted it all.

around UL, with nathaniel going absolutely off the fucking rails, armin and amber struck an odd friendship. they both could clock the other on their fucked up eating issues, but neither said anything for a long time, until amber did. they agreed to try and recover together.

his favourite pokemon type is ghost (thank you anon, idk anything about pokemon but i wanted to include this)

he plays animal crossing with kentin (who doesn’t like admitting that he plays it because it’s very relaxing for him) and jade.

he’s a gemini sun, cancer rising, libra moon, same as alexy.

he has add (adhd inattentive type) and his most common stims are bouncing his leg and chewing his pens. his object permanence is also absolute shit, if its out of sight, it doesn’t exist.

he doesn’t untie his shoes when taking them off or putting them on, and has ruined many perfectly good pairs of shoes that way.

he has made tik toks starring rocket the ferret

his playlists are lo-fi music, video games and movie soundtracks, and like. twenty one pilot.

his nose is crooked from when he broke it around 11 years old

he also bruises really easily (mostly due to his EDS) and his legs are always covered in various bruises. he’s also very clumsy, which doesn’t help

he doesn’t like alcohol; he doesn’t like the taste, the way it makes him feel and the aftermath; it doesn’t take much to affect him and he’ll sleep for an entire day. but he’ll sometimes drink in social situation just to not feel left out.

he’s bisexual. the less obvious stuff; what’s his type?? I know having a “type” isn't really a thing and u like who u like. with that said i think hed like slightly androgynous looking girls (soft spot for shaved heads. its soft;;), girls who are very very feminine but in an out of the ordinary way (think lolita, hyper pop fem vibe, goth girls in corsets, etc), guys who work out (he has a weakness for back muscles), in general people who stand out in a crowd be it with their appearance, style or their attitude

no i still have absolutely no idea how he would come out. i think he probably didn’t. he just started talking about it naturally, because it wasn’t a big deal. i think one day, either his mom or alexy made jokes about oh, when would he finally take this one cute girl on a date, and he just said, or maybe it’ll be a boy. it just happened like that

ref post for his fashion sense

he can do a killer winged liner. look, man’s into cosplay, of course he can.

he’s played mystic messenger ironically at first and then ended up actually liking it

he actually can draw, because he spent all middle school drawing anime characters in all his notebooks

he always sits kind of awkwardly (proof is the episode 12 illustration lmao) because 1. bi people can’t sit right (source: me) and 2. he’s just. really lanky and has long limbs and doesn’t really know what to do with all of it

this one is from an anon last year: “I have this weird hc about the twins. Alexy sleeps with like a million pillows and blankets , while Armin tries to sleep with pillows but throws it out every time even though he's asleep.” and i love it. he also probably sleep in very weird positions which leads to him waking up hurting a lot of the time

he also has a weighted blanket that he and alexy kind of just. get turns using when they both still live at their parents house. it helps armin’s pain, and alexy’s overstimulation issues. when they leave, armin gets the weighted blanket

armin has a dimple on his right cheek when he smiles

he helped alexy dye his hair until they moved out and started living separately

he has his driving license, but alexy doesn’t

he’s scared of dogs (he probably met demon at one point bc i like him and cas being friends, and he was so nervous about it, poor boy

he likes taking ice cold shower in the evening because the cold water and then sinking in a warm bed make him sleepy and actually helps him fall asleep

he probably played dnd at one point

he smokes ouid occasionally, at first it was recreational, but it kind of helped with his joint pain so

i think this is all of them? i might be missing a few ones i never wrote out or that are buried in my files but i honestly don't feel like going through the dozen unfinished fics and compilation documents that mention armin in my drive or i would still be here next year

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

NOT A QUESTION ABT LORE but what r everyone's fave type of music / fav artists / etc . This is very important

oooooh this is a good question and i can probably not give it as good of an answer as it deserves because i grew up in a white evangelical community /neg and was basically not allowed to listen to anything but That Kind of worship music for the first like 14-16 years of my life. so since then i have been trying to figure out how normal-people listening to music works. i still haven’t really figured it out, i’ve just found a few artists that i like and i just kind of put them on repeat and am not sure how to go about regularly finding more new things i will enjoy. like. i listened to over 11,000 minutes of lil nas x last year. (which i am very proud of actually lol.) but like, that one artist was a full tenth of what i listened to the entire year.

[ask me questions abt the backstories/lore for my if you’re going my way, i’ll go with you fic]

answers in terms of general vibes below the cut, although i do not know enough about music as a whole to give really specific examples like u asked for i am sorry 😭 (if you have opinions on what they would listen to, you are Probably Correct and also I Would Like To Hear Them) (also cw allistic ableism mention):

so obviously virgil likes emo, because that’s the law when you write fanfiction with virgil in it lol /hj probably his tastes are a lot more expansive than just emo though. like you can tell that emo is kind of where he started out from, but he’s branched out a ton since his teenage years and he likes a bunch of different genres now.

logan i think likes anything that he can use as an audio stim. stuff with big loud strong rhythmic noises. technically i have not officially made him autistic in this fic but like. probably he is lol. im dragging my feet on talking about it in the fic a little bc,,, i feel like if random people in the fic’s universe find out he is autistic, they are definitely Super fast to draw incorrect connections between his supergenius power and the savant stereotype. which is gross and which logan haaaaates so much. i vaguely have a scene in my head of him like getting really annoyed by some ableist reporter talking to him on live tv and snapping that “actually i have only been a supergenius for 2/3 of my life. i have been autistic my entire life” but also like. ughhh i don’t want to put him through that. so im on the fence about talking about it in the fic or not. but yeah i think he really really likes audio stimming and is hyposensitive to audio in general (which also is part of why he likes to process his thoughts by speaking them aloud) so he likes music with lots of Noise in it.

patton mostly listens to Music Aimed At Little Kids. like disney soundtracks etc. plus anything child-appropriate that logan listens to, bc again, logan does not treat children that differently based on their being children and sees no reason to play entirely different music than normal when patton is around.

i don’t know what janus likes to listen to but i know it is very different from the like disney soundtracks and kidz bop or whatever that patton listens to (and that janus does also listen to because patton listens to it lol) (literally nobody is making them do this but they do it anyway and then complain about it a lot) (but only when patton is not around bc they don’t want to make him think they’re upset at him about it <3). possibly he is kind of snobby about his music taste? but like in a very oh-this-person-is-definitely-in-her-mid-20s way if that makes any sense (im not sure if it does). i have the least idea of what janus’s preferred music is tbh.

remus’s music taste,, again i don’t know what it is but i do know that you can Very Clearly tell that Oh This Man Is Extremely Mentally Ill from looking at what he chooses to listen to.

roman i think has honestly mostly not been allowed to listen to music basically at all up until now. like if his parents felt like listening to music, then he would have to listen to that, but he wasn’t ever really allowed to choose music or have any way to listen to it on his own. his experience with music has been whatever other people choose to play around him and that’s about it.

yeah!! those are the vibes!! i don’t really have a ton of specific genres or artists to name im very sorry 😭 but i am super open to hearing ideas for those if anyone has any!!

[meteorherd]

Is Treasure Planet part of the experimental era? Bc in my head it’s kind of grouped with the other movies you mentioned. If it is, anything you’d like to ramble about with that one? (Even if parts don’t age as well, I maintain that I’m Still Here is top five Disney soundtrack moments)

YESSS. treasure planet is literally my second favorite experimental era film right under emperors new groove. it arguably ended up defining the entire latter half of the experimental era actually! oops this got long again hang on

pretty much every movie after treasure planet that wasnt nearing completion in the production process was switched over to cgi after treasure planet flopped both critically and in the box office (fun fact chicken little, disneys first cgi film, was originally meant to be a 2d film, it got moved to cgi because treasure planet flopped). like, if you could point a finger at ANY animated film and claim it caused the death of 2d animation, it would be treasure planet. undoubtedly.

THIS BEING SAID THOUGH. i will defend this movie with my life i literally dont care. its SOOOO gorgeous. im in love with how pretty this movie is. and im still here is SUCH a good song. jim was actually the blueprint for angsty teens everywhere. i also think not having a musical-style soundtrack works reallyyy well for this film, it makes im still here feel that much more impactful. amelia is such a badass and in my head she didnt have a bunch of heterosexual babies with doppler.

alsooo something i find very specific to the experimental era Brand is the incredible lengths of worldbuilding. all the alien designs are SOO cool as well as the sci-fi aesthetic. the cgi might seem a little clunky looking back at it now but i still think it holds up pretty goddamn well. it really does feel like a world that existed before this movie that we're just being introduced to. and "youre gonna rattle the stars you are" that line means absolutely everything to me. Okay.

what treasure planet largely suffered from is the fact that it was pitched back in the 80s so it was constantly shelved. that being said so was wreck it ralph but probably for the best, its super interesting how that movie was supposed to be a topical current movie for the 80s but ended up being successful by feeling retro by the time it did come out in 2012. i AM mentioning this for a reason by the way im just saying in comparison unfortunately treasure planet didnt have that sort of reframing of its aesthetic to fall back on when it finally got released around 20 years later. a lot of people just werent into the aesthetic since that wasnt what they were expecting from disney, and the pacing in the third act did drag on a little which didnt help its case.

but i honestly believe if treasure planet was released either earlier OR later, it might have had a better chance. either way its probably one of the most important films to talk about when discussing the experimental era as a whole considering how it affected 2d animation from then on. also ben never existed btw he exploded and died and wasnt there for the rest of the movie it was all just a bad dream <3

[hazel-rah]

Share five albums you liked in 2021

Tagged by @dextervexter

A Southern Gothic by Adia Victoria

I love songs that are stories, but I love albums that tell whole stories even more, and I especially love the gothic. This album is haunting but whimsical with some really beautiful vocals. I love the specificity of the album title being “*A* Southern Gothic”, it’s almost like the story of one girl in particular, that you follow closely and become emotional invested in while listening. I got into this album late in the year, which I think is perfect bc it is excellent dark autumnal music.

Fav track: Please Come Down, closely followed by Deep Water Blues and South for The Winter

Montero by Lil Nas X

This was such a fun and intense album, every song on it got me excited. I think people assume emotional songs have to be slow, but there are some faster paced pieces on this album that prove them wrong. This is a very personal album, and really cements Lil Nas’ status as a household name. It had a great mix of hectic and energetic songs, with heavier somber moments. In particular, the choir part in DEAD RIGHT NOW might be my favourite moment on the whole album. 10/10, sound of the summer

Fav track: Industry Baby

As Days Get Dark by Arab Strap

This is THE album for eerie and uncomfortable folk songs. Each song is like sitting around a fire in a dark wood while each person tells a different story, stories without moral but with lots of horror. The Scottish accent has never sounded so wonderful then when it’s scaring you and breaking your heart. I’ve also seen this album in vinyl and I have to say it gets points for just looking beautiful, the whole piece is so well put together.

Fav track: Fable of the Urban Fox

American IV: The Man Comes Around by Johnny Cash

This is just one of those albums I come back to every couple of years, and each time it’s like hearing it for the first time. Cash achieved so much in his life, but saw very little of the change he wanted for America. He knew he was dying. There is so much pathos in this album, I honestly place it leagues above other albums. It’s like reading his diary. The songs choices, the weight in his voice, the sparse snd simple instrument choices throughout… idk no one talk to me about this album

Fav track: We’ll Meet Again

Billie Holiday’s titular album

The dreamiest songs of all time… Perfectly capturing the feel and emotion of the romance of her time, packed with yearning, hoping, wishing, this is the soundtrack for daydreaming. I’ve cried to every song on this album and not even in a sad way. To me, Holiday is a Romantic the same way Byron or Keats was a Romantic. There’s nothing else out there like her, many have tried and many have fallen short. She was so special, and this music means so much to me

Fav track: I’ll Be Seeing You. Maybe one of my favourite songs of all time. “I’ll Be looking at the moon, but I’ll be seeing you”? Kills and revives me every time

Tagging: @bugsongs @cruelsister @thottybrucewayne @needletail (no pressure tho 💓)

[luminous-studiess]

Ummm so I'm new to tumblr so don't judge if I did something wrong.Ummm how can I be like you? Like you know? Productive and smart.I always push myself but ended up being distracted by things (I have adhd and depression).I can't even remember anything after.I suffer,and continue suffering, from my mental illnesses.I just can't keep myself on track.My family makes fun of me for trying.I'm actually trying to find a part time job here but nothing hires minors.Idk please help meee.

hi, friend! answer under the cut because this will be long. 

please know you’re doing nothing wrong, and that the fact you keep trying to become better and to push yourself to always get things done despite difficult circumstances already shows that you ARE already productive and smart. 

second, it also helped me when i was struggling very heavily last year to learn  two things: 1) there will always be particularly bad days when you live with mental illness, but all the little efforts you take, it slowly does get less difficult. getting better does not mean completely getting rid of all the symptoms you experience, but mostly just learning the best ways and small, gentle things you can do for yourself to manage your condition. this really requires a gentle but firm balance between pushing yourself to do the things you absolutely need to do, but also knowing when what level of work/school/self-care or hobbies is the limit, so that you don’t get too overwhelmed.  this means most of the time, you don’t have to worry about being productive for its own sake. it helps me when i feel like i’m drowning to know how little i can do/the most non-negotiable bare minimum, that still helps me not to fall behind.

^ this is a small, cheap pad of sticky notes i carry with me throughout my entire day. it’s only big enough so that i can only write a few school tasks/personal things i need to do/chores, which helps me evaluate what exactly i can only get done, especially on days where i don’t feel well. checking off absolutely everything on my tiny list makes me feel like i’ve accomplished a lot, because i i have-- they aren’t necessarily a lot of tasks, but they’re the ones that i know really do need to get done. it also helps me focus when i have a lot of nervous energy, and have a panicked sense of “so many things need to get done!!!?” because i can give myself a bit of time to sit down, maybe turn on an episode of a show i like or make some coffee, and write down my tasks. it really helps me with the faint, tiny guilt and dread i used to feel day by day that i was being unproductive or lazy, because now i know i’ve fulfilled all my obligations to myself (everything from doing laundry, to making dinner) and to other people (schoolwork and other tasks). it’s okay to move at the pace that’s only possible for you right now. it’s better to feel comfortable with the smallest things you can do, and build on that as the days come. 2) getting distracted is normal, given Everything Happening Right Now, plus with a mental health condition that makes it hard to focus. it can also be hard to remember things when i study, because of my own health conditions, but i’ve found that the following things have helped: regarding distraction - use a small system that keeps you from accessing any distractions when you need to get something done. i try to leave my non-essential device in another room, and set up a timer-based blocker, to limit the websites i access. - i try to acknowledge the distractions as they come, and try to figure out why: am i hungry? am i tired? have i gotten enough sleep? do i need a break? if it isn’t anything serious, i just acknowledge that i’ve gone briefly off-track-- without guilt, without judgment. then i try to turn my mind back to the task at hand. - a good ambient playlist can make me feel more focused during hard tasks in the sense that i have some form of stimulation to keep the “itchiness” at bay. video game soundtracks and film soundtracks are also wonderful for long, tricky tasks.  - sometimes i just have to start to feel motivated-- the focus actually comes in in the middle of the task. the fact of starting something may actually make you feel motivated.

- procrastinate productively: sometimes when i really don’t want to study i turn on a movie or a show and use the time to clean my room or fold laundry. my life still feels put-together, and i enjoyed myself! win-win.

- and sometimes i realize that focus may be impossible at the moment: take a break, go for a run, do something you like, take a nap.  regarding learning and remembering things i used to have the worst time recalling things for school, until i prioritized two things: SLEEP, and not cramming. i used to get extremely poor grades in my first year of law school because i would put off studying at the last and latest moment-- a few days before exams, pulling all-nighters right up until the hour the exam started. i would also just use my free time to scroll on social media, instead of taking a nap or going to bed early. this was absolutely wrong. during the exam, i couldn’t recall anything because i was too tired, too frazzled, probably didn’t have breakfast, and because i had started and finished half a semester of reading in one night. my grades have gotten much better lately-- i’d like to think it’s because i’ve centered it around two things: (a) getting enough sleep every single night (helpful ESPECIALLY if you have health problems-- mental or physical), and (b) making exam day the least stressful it can be. how do i do this? - this means not only learning things for the exam, but also for classes on a daily period. you don’t have to study particularly hard, but you just have to study enough that you can understand what the professor is saying in class. set definite study hours every day, stop at a very specific and reasonable hour, and go to bed. try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. sleep helps me absorb everything better (idk science but this is from experience and also some very smart people i know ALSO prioritize getting sleep). wake up at a reasonable hour.  - how to study: read the syllabus, and try to get a decent overview of all the topics you need to cover before you start testing/making flashcards/doing active recall (which is IMPORTANT bc this helps you actually train your brain to retrieve information). imho as someone low-energy i find that rewriting notes/making reviewers/making flashcards makes me very tired and leaves very little time for actual studying, so it just helps to test myself by looking at the syllabus and trying to explain the concept to myself, then peeking at the textbook or materials to see what i’m missing. mind-maps are also energy-efficient ways of figuring out how concepts fit together. - how to study for exams: the very latest you should start is a week ahead. two weeks ahead is ideal. map out how much information you need to re-learn from the syllabus. move slowly with the aim of finishing the coverage by the first week. the second is for reviewing and RESTING. - THE NIGHT BEFORE THE EXAM: do a final, gentle survey over the topics you may not understand. stop at 10 pm. go to sleep.  - EXAM DAY: you’ve done the work. take the time to eat breakfast, test yourself SLOWLY AND GENTLY (avoid reading huge chunks of textbook at this point-- youll only confuse yourself), and set up your workspace to take the exam. crush said exam. as a final note: it can be hard to get things done when the people closest to you aren’t supportive. try to reach out on studyblr and find discord study with me servers, or study communities on reddit (they’re actually really nice), or with students in your class. if you need to talk, just dm me. you can do this friend, okay? take care always. gentler days will come. 

[trashcreatyre]

I'm gonna explain one of my TMA playlists bc I've been wanting to do that for several months, and how else am I supposed to procrastinate my animatic project at one in the morning?

(here's the link to the playlist bc I think its pretty slappin')

General:

Body Terror Song By AJJ-

I know that it could technically be a flesh song, but I feel like its a bit more vague than that? if that makes sense?

The Afternoon By Lemon Demon-

there's gonna be a lot of Lemon Demon songs in this lol- This one is also pretty vague, but for some reason it kinda reminds me of Michael specifically? I don't 100% know how to describe it.

thrifted youth By dalynn-

Most of the descriptions/reasonings in the general section are pretty simplistic and vague huh? I guess it just kinda fits the vibe? I might be saying that for a lot of the general ones-

Aurora Borealis By Lemon Demon-

this one reminds me of the season five, kinda feels like a jmart song. (also you'll probably notice that there's not much in the ship theme in this playlist. I like to keep my ship playlists separate from my more general ones, don't know why.)

Under My Skin By Jukebox The Ghost-

just kinda fits the vibe y'know? other than that I don't really know.

Turn the Lights Off By Tally Hall-

i can't actually remember why I put this one specifically- that's a bit unfortunate-

When He Died By Lemon Demon-

This one mostly just fits the vibe, makes me think about the really old Victorian era statements.

Ancient Aliens By Lemon Demon-

again, fits the vibe.

She Doesn't Sleep By Anthony Amorim-

Feels like a random statement tbh. also reminds me of Not!Sasha too.

Nightmare Fuel By Lemon Demon-

funky song- fits the vibe- I don't know what more I can say-

Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic-

I don't remember actually???? I think It was an Elias one??? but thinking about it now that doesn't really make much sense???? I'm gonna keep it tho, fits the vibe, at least it does to me.

Bloody Nose By Jack Conte-

fits the vibe :)

Christmas Kids By Roar-

I think I saw an animatic to this one time? now I can only think of the season one archival staff,,,, my beloveds,,,,

La nuit en matin By OH MU-

imma be honest, I have no idea what this one's actually about, but It lowkey reminds me of the intro music during end of season three- y'know, the clown vibes :D

9 to 5 By Dolly Parton-

Archival staff moment

American Healthcare By Penelope Scott-

I guess it could technically be seen as an End themed one? but I put it on bc I felt like it fit the vibes (are you getting sick of reading vibes? i'm getting sick of typing it)

Butch 4 Butch By Rio Romeo-

mostly just the rat filled piano line,,,,,, and also it fits the vibes to me.

Oblivion By Grimes-

Kinda feels like a statement?? In a way?

Murders By Miracle Musical-

the vibes. hopefully thats the last time i type that for this-

oh yeah woo yeah, we're onto the specific Entities now B) lets start with the one that probably has the most, if not, it sure feels like it-

The Spiral:

Spiral Eyes By Rewenge-

yeahhhh,,,, I know it doesn't really fit the vibes all that well, But the title fits and I like it so-

The Distortionist By Ghost and Pals-

this one is SUPER obvious, but it fits REALLY well in my mind.

Out of Her Head (Outerlude) [From The Film Possibly in Michigan] By Korban Baxter-

I can literally picture this one- I lowkey wanna do an animatic of this one one day.

A Crow's Trial By Vane Lily-

OKAY- so this last one is because it's the song from an absolutely GORGEOUS animation/animatic by Akidachi on YouTube, I ADORE this animation. please watch it omg-

again, I'm like, 90% sure that The Spiral has the most songs on this playlist, definitely not a bias or anything. next up is the mf uhhhh-

The Corruption:

Spiral of Ants By Lemon Demon-

no explanation needed.

Maggot By Slutever-

Mostly just the name, but it's a good song too so-

Sick On Seventh Street By Sarah and the Safe Word-

fits the vibe title and actual song wise.

in retrospect under my skin probably could be here-

The Web:

Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

Feels like a very web song,,,

Boris The Spider By The Who-

Spider,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Spider Dance By Toby Fox-

Yes,,, like from undertale,,,,,,,

i think thats it for the web (i swore there were more,,,,)

The Lonely:

Nobody By Mitski-

C'mon, you didn't think I WOULDN'T put this one on, did you?

This December By Ricky Montgomery-

idk what it is exactly about this one, just,,,, feels correct?

Blue Jay Way By The Beatles-

MANNNNNNN- i love this song, my mom hates it- that's unrelated- but I always just feel like there's fog or like, an eerie sea, or something- while listening to it. it feels very lonely-

I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew (1909) By Eddie Morton-

I have no idea why spotify suggested this song to me, but I will never not find it funny. Anyway- reminds me of the crew on Peter's ship :)

The Stranger:

Rattlesnake By Kabaret Sybarit-

Idk, feels like smth Nikola would sing at jon- idk how else to explain it-

A Mask of My Own Face By Lemon Demon-

pretty self explanatory lolll

The Slaughter:

War Pigs By Black Sabbath-

war.

The Hunt:

The Hunter By Slaves-

maybe this one is because it's because it's litterally called the hunter, and that they say hunter a bunch, but it is fun to listen to-

Teeth By 8 Graves-

I cannot remember my reasoning at this current moment-

The Flesh:

Body By Mother Mother-

the lyrics do be fittin doe

The Dark:

Everything Goes Dark By The Hoosiers-

i mean- everything goes dark- what more do you want me to say-

Dr.Sunshine Is Dead By Will Wood and the Tapeworms-

i think its mostly the song's vibe and the title.

The End:

The Trick to life By The Hoosiers-

the trick to life is not to get too attached to it.

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world By Will Wood-

remember death.

YOOO OKAY NOW WE'RE ON THE ONES THAT I HAVE ACTUAL THINGS TO SAY ABOUT NOW- at least for the most part-

Characters:

i think i'm gonna go from least to most for this- (spoilers, Jon has the most ones because I care him)

Cryptid Hunt- Demo By Averno, Sushi Soucy-

this one makes me think of the WTGFs,,,,,

You're at the Party (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

makes me think about Micheal Shelley,,,,,,,

Saint Bernard By Lincoln-

Alice "daisy" Toner moment-

Mary By The Happy Fits-

mary keay,,,,,,

there used to be a gerry one too, but the more I heard it in the context of the playlist and him, It just didn't fit,,,,,

Ew it's Elias/jonah time-

The Fine Print By The Stupendium-

capitalism- jk- kinda- Idk, just feels like it fits because he really just kinda,,, doesn't care about his employees-

How Bad Can I Be? from the lorax-

I had to-

Boss 3 from the terraria soundtrack-

Listen- I don't know why- but- it has elias/jonah vibes- the vibes are fowl, but the song is good.

Ruler of Everything By Tally Hill-

Panopticon/eyepocolypes time-

Ayooo it's jon time- I really hope I can write out my thoughts in a way that makes any kind of sense- /foreshadowing

A Sadness Runs Through Him By The Hoosiers-

Goddddd,,,,, he's just kinda filled with sadness and survivors guilt, just like, all the time huh?

Home By Cavetown-

the lyrics are just- very him- like- I just gjbdjgsflkjns-

Broken Crown By Mumford & Sons-

frick- the foreshadowing was accurate- the best I can describe it is that the lyrics just???? y'know??? hhh why am I like this sometimes-

Sweet HIbiscus Tea By Penelope Scott-

i'm willing to bet that he never wanted to be the main character-

Honey I'm Home By Ghost and Pals-

I saw a Jon centric animatic to this one time- I can't for the life of me remember who by, But everytime I hear the moth lines, my brain goes ":0" Because I remember there was a time when people kept drawing moth jon- I don't know where that came from but I thought it was very cool.

Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko-

I'm like- actually starting to get frustrated with how poorly im articulating my thoughts right now- this just isn't funny anymore-

Sleep By My Chemical Romance-

I'm not actually sure why for this one- I just remeber putting on my black parade CD, hearing this, and being like, "damn, that do kinda be jon tho-"

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings- tbh, all this sounded and read out better in my head. My words might not make sense, but I do like how the playlist is. also im very tired, maybe this would've been written better if I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open lol. I'm gonna fall asleep now- or maybe i'll post a spiral themed doodle dump again, who knows. I don't know.

[elizabethvaughns]

When and how did you come into your fandoms?

for falsettos, i think i heard first about it due to the "late for dinner late again" part from "this had better come to a stop". i was in 8th grade then(so like 2018 ish?). it wasn't really my style of music back then, though, so i didn't really think to check it out. in 2019, two(2) falsettos songs came up on my spotify shuffle despite my not knowing them: "i'm breaking down" and "you gotta die sometime". my music taste had evolved a bit by then, and i immediately fell in love. so i saved the two songs. but i still didn't listen to the full album bc i don't really enjoy trying new things. in august 2019, my best friend and i had just gotten our schedules for sophomore year and we were just hanging out at her place because it was very hot outside. we were just talking about our summers, and i mentioned that i had recently listened to waitress. she recommended falsettos to me, and i said that i'll check it out soon. some two-ish weeks later, i listened to the whole album. this was my new obsession. for the next two months, i listened to it over and over and over again. then on the fateful day of 2 october 2019, i was just cleaning my room, when i found the proshot on youtube. i clicked on it, i watched it, and by the end of “what would i do?”, i was crying. by that point, i was hooked. i still am, to this date. (also, in april 2020, i listened to in trousers. because…quarantine, and i wanted to listen to new musicals).

i really really love the found family aspect of this, and also marvin’s character development.

now, for if/then. this story dates back to 2018 as well. more specifically, july 2018. the height of my rent obsession. so i was reading this rent fanfic on ff.net comparing maureen, elphaba, elsa, and…drumroll please, elizabeth. i’d heard of frozen, rent(obviously), and wicked before. but never of if/then. so i checked out the wikipedia page. the plot made no sense to me. but idina menzel and anthony rapp? i’d have to check it out sometime!

(john mulaney voice) and then i didn’t.

some two years later, in april 2020, i was looking for new musicals to listen to, because quarantine. suddenly i thought of if/then and decided to listen to it. i loved loved loved the soundtrack! one issue i had, though, is that i could not fathom the plot for the life of me. you can’t decipher one timeline from the soundtrack? try deciphering two! the wikipedia synopsis made zero sense and was actually counterproductive (since it implied that some songs that involved both timelines were actually specific to only one timeline). i tried looking for fanfictions to try figuring out the plot from there. but ao3 only had some two non-crossover fics and ff.net had some 3-5 (not counting rpf fics). so…i couldn’t decipher the plot. i knew a few basic details: liz chooses kate and beth chooses lucas, beth gets the job and liz does not(why? i didn’t know), liz dates josh and beth kisses stephen and hooks up with lucas, both liz and beth get pregnant, and both josh and lucas propose but only liz goes through because beth wanted to focus on her career, josh dies(but only in one verse?), lucas and david are together but only in liz-verse, anne cheats on kate in both timelines but they only get back together in the beth timeline, and that’s it. that’s all i knew. so, i kinda lost interest by june. my interest peaked again sometime in february 2021 when i started to listen to the soundtrack on repeat…again. in march 2021, i saw an if/then bootleg in my yt recommended. i thought, “fuck it” and clicked on it to watch it. and hOLY SHIT IT WAS PHENOMENAL. things that made no sense in the soundtrack started to click and fall into place. i was in love. …aand in april (like 6 april ish if i recall correctly) i watched the dc version. and now we’re here. with me running a mostly if/then blog on tumblr dot com.

the thing i probably love most about this is how all of the characters are just…normal, nuanced people. the fact that they are nothing too special makes them special all in itself. (also i really really admire beth)

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[nextstopparis]

2, 18, & 19 for the long answer ask?🥺✨

lsfjskjfs ahhh thank u :DDD (also now this is my chance to tell you how much i love YOUR blog omg)

2. What’s your top five songs at the moment and why?

OOF. well rn im listening to Love Story (taylors version) so thats gotta be one of them lol. 

i also really like Good Life by OneRepublic and On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons because they r very good songs. i listen to them a lot whenever things Go Right in my life so i guess i also have good memories related to them.

theres this instrumental piece from the soundtrack for The Crown, called Sisters, and i cannot stop listening to it. i cant really explain bc words??? but i lovelovelove it more than i can say. its been on repeat for like a month now, at least. and while we’re on instrumental pieces: Gwen and Arthur’s Theme from Merlin is just. so many chefs kisses omfg...

18. Describe an essay/story you wrote in school

omfg ok... if its ok im gonna do both an essay and a story if thats ok bc i LOVeD gr.12 english and was really happy with a few of my things. idk how specific u want the description so im gonna get really specific omg feel free to not read this lskjfslkf:

welp one of the last essays i wrote in high school was about the great gatsby. it was like. 2.4k words long, and all about truth vs. reality and gatsby’s journey from creating this ideal life for himself in his head and trying to replicate it in real life and how it all eventually crumbled bc real life cant be ideal and blah blah blah. basically, i was just describing how he daydreamed and then his eventual demise in not being able to accept that the daydreams would never be perfectly replicated in the real world. it was a critical analytical essay and i basically just followed gatsby’s life in each paragraph i think? except we were encouraged to make it a universal thing, not a character study, so by “followed his life” i mean i just used diff parts of his life as my pieces of evidence lmfao... the first paragraph was about how ppl build up their ideal lives in their head, the second paragraph was abt how with the right incentive ppl seek to actually build said ideal life but...outside their head... and the third paragraph was the inevitability of reality falling short of the perfectness they’d imagined in their minds (i mostly used his relationship w daisy as the evidence for that last one lmfao). anyway, it was called “how to save a life” bc i thought i was funny w the whole ideal life crumbling and... the end...anyway idek. i was really proud of that essay, i liked my ideas and it was fairly easy to come up with. wording it was a bitch and after i handed it in i remember reading the doc and not understanding a single sentence and then panicking but. thats not important i got 100 so go me!!. (also: yes i did in fact pull it up to answer this bc i forgot kfjslkjfslkj)

anyway. so gr. 12 english was especially fun bc that was the year it wasnt all about essays. based on the text we read, we either got essay prompts or story prompts. for frankenstein, we got like three pages of quotes and were told to pick one and write a creative piece on it. i chose “I shall commit my thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling”. anyway, i split the quote up into three parts and used those as page breaks to break up three diff sections. the whole thing was just three different stories of three different people in three different situations encountering the same problem. a girl who was trying to write a eulogy for her mom but not knowing the right words to use to do her mom justice, a boy with an oversensitivity issue trying to journal his thoughts but not being able to describe the way it feels properly, and an artist who’s trying to describe an art piece of hers but not knowing how to with words. i was really happy with that one too. :)

(unrelated but i also wrote an essay on j*an j*ques r**sseau and bitched about him the entire essay lmfao but anyway)

19. Whats sole life advice everyone should know?

man, ive barely been alive for 2 decades i jfslkfjslkjfks idek. heres one thing i would have loved to hear at some point: it’s okay to fail at some things, and it is okay to fail at them more than once. heres something ive just learned myself, i guess: people, more often than not, really appreciate it when you wish them a happy birthday, or tell them ‘good job’ or whatever. even if it feels awkward or embarrassing to say it at first. 

lkjksjfsk sorry im really not one to go to for advice lmfao