#bc it’s absolutely dead too 😭

[plague-of-insomnia]

I cannot wait for this little cunt to make it onto my TV screen:

Antis: Stop sexualizing everyone and everything in Kuro you’re just freaks seeing stuff that isn’t there

Yana: *hold my beer*

Yeah, nope, nothing suggestive here

[titsthedamnseason]

my roommate cut my hair for me tonight and at first i was (secretly) sad because it is wayyyyy too short but then i realized. i literally just got the 1989 chop. like this was all meant to happen this way

[n-agiz]

i made him look like a rockstar priest or whatever oh gosh 😭

[bunveh]

I currently have an exam worth 20% of my grade and for the first time in my whole life, as someone who literally kills herself each exam season (and hurts herself real bad each exam) I genuinely feel nothing. I don’t even care if I get 0% that much atp I’m just so done. I have the work in front of me and I’m like idec enough to study atp after years of it being like this

[prozach27]

.

[userblaney]

!!!!!

[confusionmeisss]

can you watch my boyfriend, please? - n. sturniolo

🫧 nick sturniolo x male!reader

🫧 the “can you babysit my boyfriend” tiktok couples trend done with our lovely nicolas!!

🫧 just fluff.

🫧 560 words.

🫧 hello lovelies!! thank you kindly for wanting to read!! i did a chris version of this initially and it made me want to do one for the others as well, so here we are!! enjoy reading & much love!! <3 (ps. happy pride my loves!! 🩷)

matt version

“Hey y’all, can you watch my boyfriend for me, please? I’ll be back quick, promise,” you say, setting the phone up against a stray glass.

“What the fuck?” Nick says, looking confusedly at the camera then up at you.

“Be good,” you say, placing a kiss on his cheek and walking away.

“Be good?” Nick looks offended by your departing statement. “The fuck? I’m always good. You guys know I’m always good, right?” He asks the camera.

Nick rolls his eyes. “Anyway. I was just editing this weeks Wednesday video which I think is one of our best because it’s funny as fuck.”

“Y’know, you gotta be your own biggest fan, it’s the only way you’ll get anywhere creatively. It’s the same as being your own biggest critic,” he says with a nod of his head. Then he looks directly into the camera seriously. “But you have to know how to balance them out. Like, you have to know when something you made is shit, and know if you have to start over or rework it.”

“Anyway, I’m really bummed out that I don’t have tickets to Melanie Martinez’s The Trilogy Tour,” he says with a slight pout, tapping at the touchpad of his laptop. “I would’ve loved to hear Detention live. And the videos I’ve seen of her concerts before, her outfits always eat! And her stage presence, my God, it’s otherworldly!”

Nick suddenly rolls his eyes as he remembers something. “Ugh, so I went to ask Matt to take me to the store yesterday because we were out of Dr. Pepper, mind you, it’s one in the afternoon, and I walk into his room and he’s absolutely dead asleep.”

“Oh, we went to Target today, and I fucking tripped in a crowded ass aisle like the clumsy fukcer I am,” Nick lets out a huff. “Like it’s embarrassing as fuck when there’s like three different age ranges laughing at you.”

Nick goes to say something else but is cut-off by his bedroom door creaking open. He watches as you walk in and over where he’s sitting at his desk.

He feels you stand behind him, putting your chin in his hair. “Hey I’m back, thanks again for watching him yall. I hope he was good for you!”

Nick rolls his eyes up towards you. “Of course I was good,” he says with an irritated huff. “I’m always good.”

You let out a laugh, placing a kiss into his hair while reaching over him to end your phone’s recording.

—

comments

count on nick to always come at us with some wise words of encouragement ❤️

“yes nick, you’re always good” we all say in unison

nicks offense at being told to be good is sending me into oblivion 😭

is nick alluding that there’s a real og-ness to this week’s wednesday video?????

oh the pain of embarrassing yourself in public 😣

i am matt matt is me bc i too annoy everyone around me by sleeping in till 1pm :)

i feel your pain on not having tickets to melanie’s tour. god bless for tour videos on my fyp 🙏

oh dr pepper lovers rise!!

the affection & the kisses 💓💓

okay but i wanna know what nick was gonna say before the door opening interrupted him…

who else is happy that nick is in a happy loving healthy relationship???? 💛💛💛

[lxclerc]

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary... romance is not dead if you keep it just yours. note... a gift for 5k followers bc you guys stick around even tho i don’t post anymore. faceclaim... victoria brono

liked by francisca.cgomez, charlesleclerc and others

yourusername romance is not dead if you keep it just yours <3

view all comments...

yourbestfriend you’re in love and stuff. we get it

lorenzotl ❤️

leclerc_pascale i simply adore the two of you ❤️

⤷ yourusername i adore YOU so much

charlesleclerc je taime, mon amour 🫶🫶

⤷ yourusername i could not love you more

⤷ arthur_leclerc you’re so sweet i’m getting cavities

francisca.cgomez the most beautiful 🫶 ─ liked by yourusername

⤷ yourusername i love you, baby 🤍

⤷ francisca.cgomez love of my life 🥰

⤷ pierregasly hey

liked by lorenzotl, yourusername and others

charlesleclerc Back on the front row for Sunday’s race. Great lap, amazing job by the team to bring the upgrades earlier than was planned

view all comments…

user1 forza 🙌

user2 you know everything is better when charles is posting after qualifying

yourusername …can we talk about this picture tho ─ liked by charlesleclerc

user3 YOU DESERVED IT TODAY BABY

yourusername added to their story!

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and others

charlesleclerc It feels good to be back on the podium. We’ll work flat out to be back on the top step as soon as possible 🇦🇹

view all comments…

joris_trouche VOILÀ ❤️

⤷ user1 as always, you’re absolutely right joris

user2 il predestinato ❤️

user3 missed seeing you on the podium 😭

user4 you may be p2 in austria but you’re p1 in my heart

yourusername from p12 to p2. bravo, mon dieu ─ liked by charlesleclerc

⤷ user5 this is the priv account that charles followed 👀

⤷ user6 MON DIEU???

⤷ user7 charles likes all of her comments on his posts and no one else’s

liked by charlesleclerc, lorenzotl and others

yourusername undercover

view all comments…

charlesleclerc red suits you so well, pretty girl

⤷ yourusername they say i attract the color red

⤷ charlesleclerc well you’ve got me hooked

charlotte2304 gorgeous 🫶

pierregasly a walking red flag 🚩

⤷ yourusername it’s ok pierre, no need to be salty. we can share charles

liked by user1, user2 and others

charlesupdates CHARLES COZIES UP WITH NEW GIRLFRIEND IN AUSTRIA

view all comments…

user1 well there’s that

user2 i don’t like this at all

⤷ user3 believe it or not, no one cares

⤷ user2 i’m allowed to say my opinion

⤷ user3 and i’m allowed to shit on your opinion

user4 yeah no she can go

user5 yikes

user6 this comment section ain’t it

joris_trouche the complete invasion of their privacy is disgusting along with the comments 👎

⤷ user7 tell em, joris

liked by scuderiaferrari, yourusername and others

charlesleclerc p4 today and hopefully better tomorrow 🙃

view all comments…

user1 ferrari is just straight up draining this man’s soul

user2 fire xavi and we’ll be fine

user3 in lord perceval we trust

user4 bestie you need to win tomorrow bc i just bet my kidney on the line

yourusername lovie 🙌

⤷ user5 let me innnn pleaseeee

⤷ charlesleclerc ❤️

⤷ user6 OH????

⤷ user7 this is as close to a confirmation we’re going to get i fear

liked by charlesleclerc, pierregasly and others

yourusername me after charles mega hard launched us

view all comments…

pascale_leclerc love you both 😘❤️

pierregasly about the damn time

⤷ yourusername i knew you secretly liked me

⤷ pierregasly i like you when youre not stealing my girlfriend OR my boyfriend

⤷ francisca.cgomez shut up, pierre

⤷ yourusername yeah. shut up, pierre

⤷ pierregasly i hate u again

charlesleclerc i simply adore you too much

⤷ yourusername got me kicking my feet and shi

arthur_leclerc ha! i told you i wouldn’t be the one to reveal it

⤷ charlesleclerc are you expecting a thank you for that, arturo? 🙄

⤷ arthur_leclerc yes actually

[santanasaintmendes]

“might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye”

part 6! to the Cosmic Girl Records

summary: the gang goes to watch the new deadpool and wolverine movie. . . without you? oh no, that can’t be right.

ollie bearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

all photos are found on pinterest!

warnings: swearing, nothing too bad this time lol

a/n: wow. this took forever to finally get out bc i started so many other fics 😭 but here it is, it’s a bit short but enjoy!

landonorris has posted on his story: 

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 5,292,402 others 

landonorris: the gang is back 💪

tagged alex_albon and georgerussell64

view 11,482,493 comments 

 user1: uh oh, has y/n seen this yet 😬

|

 alex_albon: 😰 

|

 georgerussell64: 😰

user2: may the 2019 rookies rest in peace 😔🙏 

user3: rip lando he’s in for a mouthful 

 user4: why’s everyone freaking out 

|

 user5: just wait, give it a minute 

unfortunatelyy/n: MF???

|

 user5: and there it is. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: UMMM WHAT IS THIS 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT HAPPENED TO OH I'M SORRY I CANT COME OVER FOR DINNER I’VE GOT A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT THIS FRIDAY 

|

 user6: OH NO. 

|

 user10: dawg’s dead fs this time 😔

|

 user7: LANDO RUN WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE 😭😭

|

 user8: he’s probably left the country by now 

| 

 landonorris: 😀 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

|

 landonorris: no. 

|

 landonorris: @alex_albon @georgerussell RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN 

|

 georgerussell64: YOU ASSHAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST IT 

|

 landonorris: YOU WERE LITERALLY THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO POST IT 

|

 user9: oop 🫢

|

 georgerussell64: i never took you for a LIAR 

|

 landonorris: @alex_albon you were there you believe me right? 

|

 alex_albon:  . . . ummmm

|

 landonorris: i see how it is i’m friends with a bunch of TRAITORS 

| 

 user10: how does it feel to be betrayed by your best friends 

|

 alex_albon: 😶

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

|

 landonorris: omg i forgot about you 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: oh you are so dead 

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, carlossainz64, alexandrasaintmleux, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 23,782,883 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: whoever said revenge is best served cold clearly has never had chimichangas before 

tagged landonorris

view 22,682,692 comments 

user1: HELP SHES AT IT AGAIN 😭

user2: absolutely violated my poor boy 😔

user3: i fear he may never learn his lesson 

 landonorris: oh i hate you. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: just remember, you did this to yourself 

|

 landonorris: i hope you 

|

 user17: bro died mid comment 

|

 user4: his pr team got to him before he could ruin his life 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what i thought punk 

|

 mclarenracingf1: 🖕

|

 user5: LANDO?! 😭😭

|

 user6: HE DID NOT LMAOO 

|

 user11: pr team probably took away his phone privileges so now he’s hacked into mclaren insta acc 😭

|

 user12: lando rn: 🤓💻

user9: the side eye goes hard 

 user10: HELP WHERE DID SHE GET THESE PHOTOS 

|

 user14: she’s probably got a whole collection 

|  user15: mission: steal’s y/n phone 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😓

|

 user16: HELP HAHA 

 alex_albon: can you send me that second pic 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: don’t even think about it, you’re next 

|

 alex_albon: 😨

|

 alex_albon: @lilymhe your girlfriend is bullying me 

|

 user7: alex albon confirmed snitch 

|

 user13: at least he’s not in denial anymore 

|

 user8: can’t do nothing wrong in front of this guy otherwise next thing u know police are at your front door

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

|

 lilymhe: do you deserve it 

|

 alex_albon: no?????

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HAH what a little liar

|

 alex_albon: why do you hate me 

|

 alex_albon: no wait don’t answer that 

|

 alex_albon: wait i’m sorry 

|

 alex_albon: don’t embarrass me please 

|

 alex_albon: answer my texts y/n

|

 alex_albon: please y/n

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, logansargeant, landonorris, georgerussell64 and 23,832,993 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: shhhh, my common sense is tingling, something you clearly don’t have 

tagged alex_albon 

view 11,482,399 comments 

user1: the deadpool references, she is not holding back 😭 

user2: dayummmm pop off queen 

user3: can’t wait till it’s george’s turn i just KNOW she’s going to use the 2023 intro pose 

 alex_albon: HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO APOLOGISE 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: @landonorris ?

|

 landonorris: do i have to 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: yep 

|

 landonorris: are you sure 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: YES 

|

 landonorris: fine.

|

 landonorris: she only takes apologies in cash no card 💅🎀💋 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: mhm that’s right 

|

 user4: HELP 

|

 user5: girl has homie in a chokehold fr 

user6: the second pic 😭

 lilymhe: what is that first pic 🤣 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: alex tried to steal my car so I ran him over 

|

 alex_albon: THAT DID NOT HAPPEN 

|

 landonorris: y/n doesn’t even have her licence 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HEY WHAT DID I SAY 

|

 landonorris: im sorry 😔

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: as you should be 

georgerussell64: why do i have a feeling that i’m next 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: my goodness, he has a brain AND feelings would you look at that 

|

 georgerussell64: oh you think you’re so funny don’t you 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i do actually 

|

 georgerussell64: 🖕 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘 

|

 user7: they’re never beating the siblings allegations i fear 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: negative. i would rather die than be related to this child 

|

 user8: child 😭 i’m wheezing 

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, olliebearman, carlossainz55 and 6,923,749 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: you look like something i drew with my left hand, which is coincidentally my non dominant hand 

view 3,482,429 comments 

user2: I KNEWWW ITTTT AHAHAHA I CALLED IT BITCHES 

 user1: HELP Y/N WHERE DID U FIND THAT SECOND PIC 😭😭

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: dm me 😌 

|

 georgerussell64: nO STOP 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: whatcha gonna do old man 

|

 user5: OLD MAN IM WHEEZING 💀

|

 user6: so is george 

|

 user7: 😭😭

|

 georgerussell64: call in the reinforcements @landonorris @alex_albon 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: AHAHAHAHAHHA 

|

 georgerussell64: why are you laughing . . .  guys? guys where are you 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: their loyalty lies with me peasant 

|

 georgerussell64: i can never win around here

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: im glad you’ve come to terms with that 

|

 georgerussell64: OH YOU SUCK 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what you get for being an ass 

|

 georgerussell64: IT WAS LANDO’S IDEA 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: GASP

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: jk i already know 

|

 user6: HELP 😭

|

 georgerussell64: then why are u getting mad at me 😭

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: cuz you’re fun to bully 

|

 georgerussell64: blocked and reported 🛑

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: its ok you’re not the first 

|

 landonorris: she’s right 😐

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: ugliness rears it’s head once again 

|

 landonorris: oh you are the worst 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘

a/n: tysm if you got to the end, have an amazing day xoxo santanasaintmendes

taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin

[luffyvace]

Akutagawa as your boyfriend ☀︎

Umm happy late b day Aku…😭 I’m totally super late for this I KNOW. But! I’m doing it anyway! >:3 late or not :P Plus I Just wanted to write for him since I really like this dude (〃ω〃) (Light blood, death and killing mentions but not in detail)

Akutagawa b day hcs first >;}

planning everything out and hiding it from him is kind of a task. 😅 the guy’s pretty stealthy himself so ya gotta make sure he doesn’t sneak up on you while your prepping things.

Buuut with the help of everyone from the port mafia (except Mori- joking! he does help but Elise does 90% of the work) you planned a mini party <3

Gin got the food! (Figs and tea enters chat)

Higuchi got the decorations! (streamers, balloons, tables, chairs)

Hirotsu keeps akutagawa busy (tea and chatting LOL)

Elise makes the banners (hints poorly drawn dead versions of everyone—extra blood for aku<3)

Kajii makes (lemon shaped) confetti poppers!!

Koyo hosted/recorded it all 💗

Chuuya brought wine and the cake (both were really expensive and tasty good job Chuuya)

Q brought lots of presents!! :3

Annnnd Tachihara! Brought some ~port mafia style~ party games (you played mafia LOL)

now general relationship things 😚

He treats you like how he does Gin, there is peace between the two of you and you have friendly interactions. (Romantic as well, for you) he will even go as far as to do favors for you but we’ll dabble in that more later ☆)

acts of service is his #1 love language. There’s no convincing me otherwise. When I say ‘he will do anything for you’ besides killing this is what I mean. You really don’t have to ask either. I talk about this some more later but, examples: done with your plate? He’ll take it. He remembers you said you needed xyz, he got it for you. You said you wanted to ____ but you fell asleep, so he did it.

hope you get along with Gin because to continue a relationship with him past 2 minutes, you need to. He will never choose friends over family. I stand on that.

honest man.

Its canon, of course this would apply to a relationship too :)

you never have to worry about him lying, thankfullly. the bad news is…this guy isn’t just honest..he’s brutally honest 😀

which he’s not dumb, but he’s also not one to pacify feelings. So say you created something and you’ve been working on this piece for a while now, (whether your an artist, writer, sculptor, something else—whatever), he takes a look at it and singlehandedly points out all the flaws 🧍‍♀️

not in a rude way-

just genuinely telling your mistakes. Which- I know can hurt because you spent a lot of time on it…..but as lest you can fix it now..? 🤷‍♀️

He respects you. Of course he does! How could you love someone you don’t respect?!

why I’m mentioning this then?? Because to him, respect is very important. There’s few that he respects personally and not because of his job.

like Dazai (sorta bc of his job but shh), Gin or Atsushi (somewhat)

And just to clear it up those he has respect for because of his job would be mori or hirotsu

so the fact that you have his respect is a mile stone!! 👯‍♀️💃💃

He’s loyal but it ain’t a fault 😋🤪

seriously tho this dude is still chasing Dazai even after he “disgraced the mafia’s name” and left to the ada

So for you?? This is simply proof that he ain’t neva leavin you, and you ain’t neva leavin him 😙 (I don’t make the rules)

even If he disagrees with your actions/opinions he will talk it out with you 😱

now he might sound a bit upset, and if your acting absolute bonkers rn and need some sense smacked into you- he might yell too. But that’s mostly if it’s for your well being.

other than that, yes the hotheaded Ryuu will calm down for you (that kinda rhymes ☝️🤓)

Bonus!:

living with the Akutagawa’s! ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

going more into acts of service, you and Gin hardly ever have to worry about chores or errands

he doesn’t really do it for the purpose of your validation, and genuinely doesn’t expect a thank you either

”hm? Oh…it’s nothing.”

Is his response when you try to thank him

he does it because he’s responsible not for praise

although I will say, seeing as though he has a lot of respect for you, as I said earlier, you may get a semi flustered/shocked facial expression

not necessarily blushing, just a expression that shows it caught him off guard ;P

Its not uncommon to see him cleaning around the house and asking if you have any laundry

housewife Ryuunosuke LOL 😂

When goes out to get groceries he asks you and Gin if there’s anything specific you want him to buy and if yes, he’ll get it for you

just like in the anime with Gin, he doesn’t mind doing favors for you as well <3

if you decide you wanna clean up or go to the store yourself he won’t stop you and be like ‘nonono I got it you sit down 🥺’. I don’t mean this in a bad way but he’s not a gentleman on purpose

I feel he’s the type of guy to do things that you consider gentlemanly but he just considers it being polite

oh it’s fine he’s got the groceries 👌

got a order for pick up? Oh well he was going out anyway, he’ll get it 🤷

he’s got the door 👍

don’t worry about the bill he’ll pay it (restaurant or house bill 😉)

another thing…! ♡

sometimes when you and Gin wanna watch a movie but Ryuu’s still doing the dishes….

Rashomon!

do the dishes :3 (while he watches the movie with you guys)

I wasn’t gonna write these at first but I’m real glad I did! I love these and finally wrote for our guy Ryuunosuke!!

WHEN I TYPED DAZAI’S NAME IT AUTOCORRECTED FO DASANI AT FIRST HAHAHHAHA

[alle-ni]

My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)

Book Crowley:

- absolute disaster

- lonely boy

- grumpiest

- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet

- a bit dumb sometimes ngl

- very tired

- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE

- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon

- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG

- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)

Radio Crowley:

- flirty

- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"

- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7

- 0 patience this man is a BOMB

- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE

- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent

- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED

- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)

- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues

- not called dear yet poor soul </3

TV Crowley:

- SILLY

- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭

- red hair

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS

- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event

- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk

- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE

- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE

- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him

- the most brave tho

- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss

- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time

- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible

- got called dear but at what cost??????????????

Book Aziraphale:

- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead

- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach

- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch

- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore

- he's very nerdy

- he's the calmest of them all

- really chill

- everyone is so mean to him for no reason

- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes

- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven

- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve

- he called Crowley dear once and then implode

Radio Aziraphale:

- full of himself

- bastard

- the most closed and oblivious of them all

- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)

- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent

- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)

- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public

- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side

- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit

- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone

- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door

- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves

- overall he is polite

- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that

- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around

- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode

TV Aziraphale:

- bitchiest

- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale

- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY

- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together

- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time

- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing

- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad

- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all

- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale

- he's the only one with almost white hair

- he got kissed but at what cost

- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb

- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3

- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is

- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"

- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way

[wosemi-sama]

and the crowd went mild 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 also no chara dividers im lazy rn

these r so short id add more but im rushing rn sorry lmfao 😭😭😭

intended lowercase!

misc. obm hcs

LUCIFER

wakes up at the ass crack of dawn every single morning.

wears those old man pjs. with the long hat and fuzzy slippers and gown. you know the one.

most bitter coffee you've ever had in your life how he can drink it is astonishing.

his bed, his mattress, his pillows are all as hard as rock how does this man SLEEP.

sleeps like hes the corpse at the funeral hes that one image

MAMMON

will pull you into a headlock and call it a hug.

LEVIATHAN

guy who had mountain dew and cheeto dust in his veins instead of blood. guy who marinates in his room for two months straight. guy who- (i am immediately shot dead).

did a collab with the anti-lucifer league to create a 100k words dialuci fic to piss off lucifer (dont worry about him he got paid in anime and tsl merch).

TRULY believes he is the #1 tsl fan. and also #1 ruri fan.

wimp who VOLUNTARILY makes you cosplays if you are a cosplayer or even if you aren't. it will happen.

vtuber fan. he was like "hey i wanna be a streamer but i dont wanna show my face but i also want to be an anime boy! wait-" and now hes a vtuber.

has accidentally referred to all of his brothers as "chat" at least once. hes never recovering from that btw.

SATAN

cannot stop annotating books he reads for the life of him.

all of his books are just filled to the brim with sticky notes because all he does is annotate.

once he has a crush he will start imagining him and them in the same scenarios as the characters in romance novels he read. (loser alert!!)

sneaking a new cat into hol like once a week (he never succeeds btw).

ASMODEUS

oh boy his room REEKS of perfume and body spray.

"i sprayed my new perfume in every nook and cranny! smells so floral and elegant, don't you think?" (it smells like a bath and body works threw up.)

surprisingly plays the trumpet and BOY is he loud. bro is absolutely blasting those notes.

worst driver ever btw.

BEELZEBUB

freckles all over!! like a lot. *im not beating the insane allegations*

ate like 27 family size dorito bags, 30 dollars worth of taco bell, and four sprites in one sitting and he still hasnt recovered.

sleeps. like a lot. not as much as belphie but enough to be considered an eepy guy.

BELPHEGOR

will randomly grab every blanket and pillow he can get his hands on and make a nest in the common room if he's up to it. and then have everyone make a dog pile in it just so they can hang out and be silly.

will NOT clean it up afterwards. lucifer will tell him to and his only response will be "im tired..."

freckles like beel too i think theyre silly.

9829364 cow plushies. (theyre all from lucifer)

SOLOMON

will randomly gaslight people for no reason

"hey did you do the homework"

homework? what homework? there was homework? my, what even is homework? never heard of that.

"hey, i heard of this animal from the human world called a giraffe! can i see a picture?"

what? what's a giraffe? oh, those!! yeah, they're just myths. they're not real. purely fiction!!

yk that one post about tumblr funnyman solomon. he is a tumblr funnyman to me. he confidently posts his exploded spaghetti and gets 10k notes i think.

SIMEON

has a book club with satan and solomon. :)

probably writes oneshots of the brothers on tumblr idfk man (sorry to the simeon fans i write like nothing on this guy bro).

LUKE

bodily six ("but didnt the devs say hes ten?" shut up. /j)

along with that, also shorter than in canon. (since hes. yk. a first grader. that BOY is not five foot hes one sauce packet long dude.)

favorite store in the human world is walmart. i like to think his human world outfit is all exclusively from walmart bc thats funny i think.

DIAVOLO

hands of STEEL. he tries to grab your wrist and he nearly crushes it by accident.

ice cream!! he loves it :) his favorite is strawberry btw.

also this boy is NOT a himbo hes a smart man.

needs like a hug and some sleep and also a friend this boy works too much!!

BARBATOS

short. like really short. especially according to devildom standards since most demons are super tall.

"but isn't he six feet?" not in my heart.

somehow always making tea for some reason?? if he's not making tea then he's making pastries.

my boy does not SLEEP. hasn't slept since the sun has been birthed and doesn't plan on ever doing it.

[fourstarsoutofnine]

I was wondering if you could do something with reader yeeting a weighted blanket at the chain and their reactions? I got reminded of that weighted blanket trend and thought it’d be funny

A/N:HAHAHA ABSOLUTELY OMG this ask made me actually laugh out loud😭 I have a weighted blanket I use sometimes bc it helps with chronic pain(I have arthritis) and anxiety and such—also I’ve always wanted to do that trend w someone but I’ve been to scared bc I don’t wanna hurt anybody :( anyway enjoy!

The chain and a weighted blanket!

(For simplicity’s sake, we’ll say they have weighted blankets in Hyrule lol)

Time:

Is a bit confused with the initial throw(I’d be struggling if I tried tbh) like—why is a blanket being thrown on him, but once it hits him, he stumbles back with a groan and a laugh

“What’s wrong with this thing, great goddesses!”

Totally thinks it’s funny

Will be buying a weighted blanket as soon as possible to get Malon with it…also just cause it feels nice.

Twilight:

Catches it

“Hylia, this is heavy, why is this blanket heavy???”

When you(albeit shocked, cause how did he freaking catch it) explain to him that it has sand(?) in it, and what it can be used for, he’s pleasantly surprised.

“Oh wow! Who would’ve thought of such a thing!”

He accompanies you to go get Wild with it.

Wild:

Body folds like a lawn chair

“OGH-“ and a thunk on the ground 💀

But he’s laughing!

Pokes his head out and just kinda lays there. Twilight’s cackling his head off behind you.

“Why?” He asks with a laugh and you just

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny is funny, and it’s nice to have a few pranks here and there, both to keep you on your toes and have a laugh.

Sky:

Also folds like a lawn chair

Except he doesn’t like his head out like wild. When there’s no movement and you peek under, he’s asleep

Mans can fall asleep anywhere anytime in a short amount of time. Sleeping is like second nature to him.

“Sky???”

Nothing. Dead silence. You’re actually beginning to wonder if it knocked him out, but no. He’s snoring, and seems perfectly fine. It’s just comfy and he decided it was time to honk his shoos. Go night night for a bit.

Wars:

You throw it at him from behind and he stumbles forward into the stump he was using as a table for planning their next route.

“Agh! Hey!!!”

Was originally upset but when he saw how hard you were laughing, he can’t seem to make himself stay mad

You were too cute, and far too happy. He didn’t want to ruin that.. and it was a little funny

“Alright Alright, You’ve had your fun…. Now go get the vet.” He said with a soft smile. The effect you had on these boys was remarkable

Legend:

Get ready to run, and run fast

Yeah—he’s… pretty much the only one that didn’t take it well.

You threw it on him and he fell forward and cursed

“Y/n what gives?!”

Though when he saw how upset his yelling made you, he softened.

“It was just a joke, I didn’t mean—“

“No. It’s whatever.” He drops the blanket to the ground with a thud and crossed his arms. “It’s fine. Stop looking like that, though. All…sad. You look like a wet dog… or wet blanket, more appropriately..”

That made you crack a smile, and he huffed and rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning up as he turned away.

You can’t figure out if he said the pun with the intention of making you laugh or not, but it worked. (Spoiler alert, yes he did. He’s a softie whether he likes it or not and he has a particular soft spot for you.)

(Totally got the blanket to sleep under it for comfort, but if you told anyone or asked him about it he’d deny everything.)

Hyrule:

“AAH!” He yelled as he flew forward when you threw it on his back.

He’s laughing, which is good.

Like time, he just laughs and holds it out to you, only he’s doing it with a touch of struggle to keep his arms out until you take it.

“That’s so heavy! What the heck! How did it get like that???”

After a long winded explanation, he really likes it!

Definitely asks for it one night, especially after a particularly rough battle.

Four:

Like Wars, he’s a bit upset but laughs it off, because at the end of the day, it is funny

Just make sure to pay attention to when you’re throwing it on him. Make sure he’s not working on any weapons—that’s dangerous ground both in injury and messing the weapon up.

Then, he’d actually be upset(but not for too long. He can’t stay mad at you.)

“Oh cmon!” He laughs, shoving you once he’s out from under the blanket.

Once he gets over his small upset, he’s laughing louder. It starts being real funny to him.

“That’s so dumb, that’s so dumb.” He says through laughter.

Wind:

He goes FLYING

“Hey y/—WAH!”

When you pick it up he’s got the biggest mischievous grin

“THATS CRAZY! LETS GO GET THE OTHERS!”

Thinks it’s the funniest thing known to mankind

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

[c0smoshit]

req since it says theyre open!!! sky fluff and gn reader is preferred!! either reader or sky need to relax bcs yk life is stressful, so they have a bath together and its just rly brain rottingly sweet

Of course!!! I love these lil fluffy Zelda prompts, thanks for the request 🫶🫶

Warm weather ࣪.⋆ ♡

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Sky/gn!reader

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘�� ≫ fluff!! nothing suggestive! // not proofread

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ this reminded me of a Leon fic I wrote a while ago😭

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 1.073

Laying down on the sofa with a popsicle in between your teeth you were trying to cool down from the ravishing heat of summer here in Skyloft.

Looking outside you then peeked over the wall clock; 21:15.

He was late, again.

Sighing, you got up, closed the window and became hopeless of the thought that the temperatures were going to cool down. Turning on the floor fan you had begged Link to help you buy, you were about to sit down again until you heard a loud noise by your right.

Stumbling over your feet your eyes met those dirty blonde locks of him, sticking a bit to his forehead from what you assumed was the heat outside.

"Link!"

You squealed as you ran to him, thankfull of the shortness from the living room to the entry hall. Opening your arms to hug him you widened your eyes and stopped dead on your tracks.

"Woah- you look like you fought a Bilocyte on your way home"

He grunted, closing his eyes wearily as you took in his not-so-radiant mien; Messy hair, sweaty skin, reddened cheeks, his back slumping down as he stabilized himself with the handle of the door and those dark circles below his gorgerous sky eyes.

"What happened?"

He stayed silent for a bit and you let him inside the house, watching as he sighed, finally able to take off his gear.

"I'm fine, just tired"

Your eyes didn't soften a bit, painted with a worried look while your hands helped him off his despair. His sword on your hand and his bow on the other you spoke outloud.

"You're having a bath"

"Later, I have to finish up cleaning my bow for tomorrow"

Your iris instinctively searched for the piece of polished wood, taking note of his awful aspect. It's paint was just forgotten under the layer of dirt that was covering most of the drawings and the grip and arrow rest were both messed up too.

"Don't be silly, I'l help you out with that later"

His brows furrowed as if he wanted to open up his mouth to refuse until-

"Now you're coming with me"

And with that, you grabbed his forearm tightly, almost dashing off to the bathroom as you put your hair down.

. . .

"Gotta get my boy cleaned up"

You said huffing as you helped him out of his absolute nasty clothes, all sweaty and messy. Trying to to oogle too much to your very handsome boyfriend you started to squeeze some fresh camomille soap an old lady gifted you the other day at the store, telling you how "calming and soothing you would almost feel your bones soften up from it" it was.

"It smells good what is it?"

You looked at his perked up ears, a sign that he indeed liked the smell. You giggled, talking about that cute old lady who seemed to be pretty happy whenever he saw you with Link, telling you to marry him before anyone else did.

At that last comment he went a bit quiet, almost blushy before you took in your own looks. Messy hair, sweaty skin... Hylia how you hated hot weather sometimes.

Seeing that he was already laying peacefully on the bathtub, the bubbles almost covering his chin you decided to get inside too. Sneaking your way in he wasn't alerted by your presence until he felt your body crash against his own, some water spilling out the tub as he instinctively grabbed you.

"Hello"

Your words were muffled by the bubbles around you, some of them hitting his cheek as you smiled before he answered with his own

"Hi"

Your arms hugged his whole back, his did too, pulling you up with him so you both could get a better posture.

"What have you done today-"

You said, cutting your own words as you removed your arms from him, sitting up straighter as you inspected his face like a mother would with his child.

"-to be so messy, Link?"

His name almost sounded accusatory as you furrowed your brows, now starting to part his blonde locks. Chest pressed into his face before drawing away, you grabbed a small bucket, moving so much even more water was spilled out.

"I was outside, helping out a little girl with her lambs..."

He spoke and was interrumpted by a splash of water directly on his head, shutting his eyes tightly as he let you manage his hair around.

"-that's why I'm so messy"

You sighed out, always helping others, you thought.

The room was filled with silence and often interrumped by soft groans as you massaged his hair, having squeezed a bit of his usual shampoo into your hands beforehand.

You liked- no, loved having such precious moments like this with him; being able to caress the head of your lover into your arms, massage his skin, his hair, his hands, whatever he felt sore for. And of course he loved it too, however, he always felt like he was making you work too hard for him.

More often than he prefered he had to come home like this; late at night and you were already sleeping, eating the cold dinner you had prepared for him too, having to tend his wounds...

He didn't want to think about it right now, having you sprawled out on top of him, taking such great care for him and the feeling of warm water around you was enough for him to forget.

"I wanna be the one you put the ring on, yknow"

He opened his eyes from their slumber, brow quirking in confusion before he saw your softened smile, looking down at him with such adoration he felt as if he was going to melt from all your love.

"Earlier, when I told you about that lady..."

Oh

So that's what you were talking about.

"I don't want anyone else to marry you"

He didn't know why you were acting so lovely with him now and you didn't know either, he just looked too cute.

Splashing more water on his hair you finally finished washing it off, chuckling at his wet puppy appereance with his hair almost blocking his view. He fixed it, looking at you with changed pupils, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you down with him.

Your head was now laying on his chest, listening to his steady and strong heartbeat, his hands drawing circles on your spine, sometimes tracing it with his index up and down slowly.

"I'm not marrying anyone that's not you, y/n"

You smiled and he could feel it on his skin, making him copy you.

"You're the only one that has been through all, with me"

[peachesofteal]

Bruh ain’t no way Johnny and Simon’s relationship will survive Darling killing herself bc of them.

Ain’t no way

How can ppl come up with such awful scenarios??!!😭😭 ( pls don’t stop, I love angst )

Absolutely not. Johnny blames him. Tells him he shouldn’t have chosen at all, that they could have found a way to make it work. He gets drunk at the pub and screams at Simon one night, tells him he doesn’t understand him anymore, feels like he doesn’t even know him. Johnny never recovers. He becomes a shell of his former self. He becomes a ghost. The light, the love in his eyes, in his soul, shrivels and dies. He can’t fight the darkness that drags him under. He’s lost you. Forever. Their light. Their love. Their sanctuary, their home. And he’s lost Simon, too.

It’s nothing, compared to the way Simon blames himself. To how he carries the failure, the knowledge that what he did resulted in the end of everything, ever. It doesn’t matter that he felt like he didn’t have choice, or that he was faced with an impossible decision. He promised, swore, he’d take care of you. That he’d never let you drown. He used to hold you to his chest in the middle of the night and whisper to you how he’d never let you go, he’d always bring you back. But he didn’t, because he’s a monster. A killer. It’s who he is, at his core. He’s the one that snuffed out the light. He’s the monster who took you away, forever.

Also yeah whoever likes shit like this is SICK in the HEAD. I love it and can’t stop. 🩵🩵🩵

This is NOT canon for Dead Disco.