#bc not only did i not want my parents to lose us bc of how much it would hurt them

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[lesbiandeancas]

remember when Sam and Dean disguised themselves as cps workers and Dean was like cps is bad bc it tears families apart and sam was like what if the families are better off apart and Dean was like no. No no no no no. The parentification of it all fr

[transmascissues]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

[beaniebitch69]

word salad ahead me boy!

while my parents rnt completely all bark and no bite the only thing they can seem to ever do is talk, lecture, rant, bemoan, belittle, word vomit (salad?), talk down to, and over-explain anything and everything that they think they want me to know as if i dont already (at least most of the time😑) know what "message" ur trying to columnist into my head by proxy of being in the same place at the same time and usually bc i Am the problem that screwed everything up. so thx for the constant and unprompted "heres how u screwed up"s, what u shoulda done"s, "what I woulda done's bc trust me even with my flaws i and everyone else would have done it a million times better, and i know i never give u time to speak or defend urself but its only bc i dont see this as an attack on ur character like u do! even tho weve been playing this exact same song and dance since u were kneehigh: eventually giving me Definitely Undeserved attitude after X amount of times of me talking at u after a Situation that, at this point in time since u werent 10, would probably have left u crying or abt to. this exact scenario happening and me being too thick in the head to actually fucking put 2 and 2 together or fucking change or do anything besides whats easy bc im a fucking lazy peice of shit monster times 2 who wont spare more than my words and even then theyre shitty words just meant to keep us afloat to the next joyous moment bc thats all a family is to me :)"

woops srry, by easy i meant they called me sensitive and dramatic and would always react Big (i say big but i mean mean and callous. or should i say dismissive? i mean im not mad that their 1st priority was always fixing the situation but when they did that i felt like i couldnt talk abt it anymore. its in the past get over it) whenever i started crying and not doing anything in front of them. yrs later my mom says shed get mad at me crying its bc shes pissed that all im doing is sitting and crying, maybe it wouldve been better if she never told me that... it makes me feel awful. every day its almost like i learn something else i do or live like that pisses her off. but im an adult now its fine everyone has things their loved one do that piss them off! its natural!

too bad everything she does pisses me off

but when i say that i feel terrible inside

my dads worse, on account of doing even less with more (fake) bravado. honestly im deeply disappointed in my parents. like no joke, this is like failing a bird class, like what did u 2 think was gonna happen? sure ive got hindsight but looking back u 2 either dont trust urselves so ur taking a more "hands-off" approach where u only do things ur confident in and expect ur kid to come to u whenever they have a problem (which i get, but u guys never built that 100% ford certified trust in me: everytime i came to u u were useless or harmful), Or ur idiots who i should stop trying to get anything out of bc ull never give me what i want (maybe im too picky in what i want? i should be happy with anything they give me, but i dont want to be a pussy bitch like that. im too proud to accept pain and if im not i will be.).

i can dish it but i cant take it. maybe im expecting too much? i dont expect them to be perfect, trying to get them to at least acknowledge whatever pain they caused me and my brother would be too much. mainly bc the only way to get them to is by having a very emotional argument and once we get to that point theyre only goal is to win the argument. so they only ever use it to advance their argument or as a stepping stone to disparage mine. thats why i hate even talking to them unless theyre on cloud 9 bc inevitably well disagree and/or just start an argument itll ramp up bc they always raise their voices and i either shutdown and cry (which pisses my mom off and makes her argue More for some fucking reason the bitch of a woman (her fav saying is "u cant teach an old dog new tricks" and uses it for herself often (her other is "insantiy is doing the same thing and expecting a different result" i hate that one bc the 1st time i heard it it was directed at me, tho now sometimes shell say im acting wrong or insane whenever im abt to lose it or somtimes just crying)) if ur no better than a dog then i hate u for trying to make me look up to and love someone who isnt even better than a Fucking DOG) or try to defend myself. now im thinking back to all the times i went thinking to defend myself, did i rlly need to defend myself? what even is defending urself? insecure ppl r constanly defending themselves, against real and imagined threats, tho usually theyre imagined. am i just insecure? am i even defending myself or am i just listing the ways they wronged me? typing that last question makes me feel spoiled. i mean i Do usually get what i want in the end, sue me, but... well im old enough now i can think critically and i know my flaws, i can and should do more. but its so impossible with them, but i bet they think the same of me, my 2 disappointing parents

[gorgeouslypink]

hey pink!

i was hoping you could offer some encouragement and advice to me. basically the entire luckyvoidgirl thing yesterday, i acctually liked her success story, it made sense to me and i even listened to cee's subliminal and my parents ended up saying i don't have to go to this dumb event i was dreading so im even seeing successes with it

the thing was she said something that i can't stop thinking about. she said that a lot of tumblr is just misinformation and that the original blog that brought the void to tumblr was divineangelbee and she was exposed for lying about the void. everyone just copied whatever she said and kept spreading the same stuff she put out but her own experience was all a lie. it really got me thinking about how educated this community is about loa, like the void state and loa is so intertwined. luckyvoidgirl never said she used loa and she did something different but she got so much flack bc the void community on tumblr is so deeprooted in loa, possibly bc of angel. but anyways for a community that is so deeprooted in loa, so many people haven't entered and even worse, so many bloggers have been exposed for lying about their success story. the crazy thing is its so easy to lie on tumblr so the fact that so many have gotten caught makes me wonder how many we haven't even caught and really how does a community that knows loa struggle like this.

idk i just can't stop thinking about this and was hoping for some guidance.

hey love! im technically on break but you're not the only one spiraling so i rlly wanted to answer this.

first of all, i want to say she's just lying and this community is great but i can't. the truth of the matter is she is right. the person who brought the void to tumblr was @divineangelbee and she was the one who went around saying it was super easy and anyone can do it and she was and is still pretty much the blueprint for how a lot of voidstate tumblr thinks, but she was exposed for harassing her friends to enter the void for her. since then, many other bloggers who basically parrot the same thing as her have been exposed as well.

however i want to highlight something here. just because someone preaches something and it doesn't work out for them doesn't mean it's false. this is a super old argument, like back when bloggers like cleo and raven were super popular but people were arguing abt Sammy Ingram. basically she was a big affirm and persist girlie and people were going at her for saying this but never losing any weight (her main goal with manifestation was to lose weight but she never did and just gaslighted anyone who pointed it out, saying they were bodyshaming her). while something was off for sammy (maybe she didn't persist or maybe she just didn't bother doing her method at all), her method worked for so many people. there's boatloads and boatloads of success stories from her videos and methods. so someone can be lying about the void and still be giving legit advice.

however, the void state community on tumblr DOES have a lot of misinformation. ive seen people claim the void state is just SATS, just alpha state, theta state, delta state, it's acc just a placebo for you to guarantee manifestations, and all sorts of nonsense. now there's a new addition, people who tell you to pay money and they'll get you into the void state. it's honestly crazy how hard the community went against the luckyvoidgirl but not some of the other stuff i see here.

but anyways, what do you do?

you need to realize that you entering the void has nothing to do with the state of the void community on tumblr. people lying abt entering the void doesnt make the void a lie, it makes them a liar.

ive been in that position where i hailed bloggers and felt attached to this community so drama here messed with me internally. you shouldn't be doing that. please read my Doubts post where i talk about overcoming this and also provide many sources of proof that the void is real so that you don't need to rely on tumblr to know that:

also it helps to find a few reputable sources. i just wanted to give a shout out to someone rn: @voidprincessblog

her page is the page i would recommend to everyone. you can tell the amount of research and effort she puts into every post and you can trust her to be a reputable source on info.

im going to attach this other post of mine for you as well:

i wish you the best of luck on your void journey and hope this helps! 💟

[callsign-rogueone]

a brief history of Navarre - x.r.

Xaden Riorson x marked!partner!reader (gn) Midterm week at Basgiath has you wanting to pull an all-nighter to study, but Xaden won’t let you. requested as part of my Valentine’s day celly 💕 (gonna be posting these well into March, oops) words: 745 🏷: no book spoilers and no triggers, just X taking care of his partner. established relationship between reader and Xaden. the reader wears one of Xaden’s shirts, but there is no description of how it fits on them (we bigger / taller girls are tired of reading that [character]’s clothes are soo oversized and long on us!) shoutout to the people who put a full timeline of the continent’s history online bc I was too lazy to find it all in my copy lol

“I’m calling it a night,” Xaden announces, closing his textbook. “Gonna go shower.”

You hum in acknowledgement, pen between your teeth as you read the same page for the fifth time tonight, still trying to cram six hundred years of history into your brain. You’ve been sitting on his floor for hours, and the lines of text are starting to blur together, words starting to look misspelled and foreign, losing their meaning with repetition.

You spent too much time reviewing the first fifty decades. You still have nearly another hundred years to cover, from 530 to present. 

It has not escaped your notice that the book reduces the Tyrrish revolution to an afterthought, at the end of the text. The belittling words they’d chosen to describe your parents’ valiant effort had nearly been enough for Xaden to light the entire volume on fire, but he’d settled for ripping that page out of his copy and letting Sgaeyl torch it.

You’d left it in yours as a reminder that these people are not on your side, nor will they ever be. 

The running water stops, Xaden stepping back into the room a moment later. “You’re still studying?” He asks, rubbing at his hair with a towel. “You must be really into that book if you aren’t checking me out right now. I’m literally dripping.” 

He’s a little offended that you don’t even look up as you answer. 

“This is important, Xay. It’s a third of our final grade.”

He dries his hands on his pants, taking the book from your hands easily -- your grip on it has loosened with your exhaustion.

You protest, but he shushes you. “Why did Poromiel not unite with Navarre after the great war?”

It takes you a moment to respond, pushing through the sleepy fog to find the answer. “Religious differences”, you reply tiredly. “And their king did not want to share his throne with Navarre’s.”

“Good. When was the second Cygni Incursion?”

“328.”

“And the second Krovlan uprising?”

“434.”

He shuts the book, gathering your notes into a neat stack. “You know this stuff, darling. You’re going to pass this exam with flying colors and set the curve for the whole class, but only if you get some sleep.”

Materials now confiscated, you have nowhere to look except up at him, and your resolve immediately starts to crumble.

He’s ready for bed, dressed only in a pair of black sweatpants that drape across his hips and cover the muscle of his legs, but every other inch of skin is exposed; the relic swirling up his muscled arm, the definition of his chest and stomach, the broad expanse of his shoulders…

You’re too tired to jump his bones right now, but it would be nice to stop, to cuddle up with him, to fall asleep in his arms. Your schedules are packed with classes, studying, training, his wingleader duties, and your responsibility for the younger marked ones. It’s been nearly a week since you’ve been able to hold him for more than five minutes. His skin is always so warm against yours, and his mattress is certainly more comfortable than the hardwood floor… 

You hesitate, still eyeing the book in his hands. “I don’t know…”

“Yes, you do. C’mere.”

You sigh, letting him pull you up from the floor. Your muscles sing in relief as you stand, your back aching from being hunched over for hours. You relax into him, resting your eyes for a minute.

“Go brush your teeth,” he encourages.

You don’t want to move from his arms, but three years of dating the boy has taught you that he won’t yield on matters of your health. You sigh, heading to the bathroom.

When you get back, he’s packing everything into your bag for tomorrow — or today, rather. You’d started studying after dinner, and now it’s well after midnight. 

He helps you out of the day-old clothes and into one of his shirts and a clean pair of underwear -- you keep a few days of necessities here for moments like these. 

You curl into his side, pulling the blankets overtop of you, and the swirling thoughts are replaced with the easy contentment that comes with being held by your partner.

“You’re going to do great,” he whispers, smoothing a hand over your back. “Just get some rest, okay?”

You don’t respond, already lulled to sleep by the steadiness of his heartbeat and the warmth of his arms around you.

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: Steve has a good relationship with his parents & when they come back from wherever & someone (Nancy/Robin) tells them about the UD & his parents react by calling out every single adult involved. Maybe he got badly hurt, & they were called in & upon finding out they call out Joyce, Hop, Owens & Murray for the way no adult inthese kids lives had any clue about what their kids were going through. Nor were their parents given notice esp bc having underaged kids sign NDAs is not legal nor legally binfing (Maybe all the parents of the party kids are there and get all the info just like the Harrington's)

MY DARLING! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! HONESTLY this one hit different. You know how much I love making Steve suffer and when he has good parents, a lot of his suffering disappears. But it was nice to branch out a bit. Also finally some common sense! KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE SIGNING AN NDA THEMS THE FACTS! Steve's parents are here to fight for everyone so WELCOME TO THE CHAOS OF STEVE'S OVERPROTECTIVE LAWYER PARENTS! - Mickala ❤️

--------------------------------------------------

Steve Harrington had managed to avoid the hospital for years. Not because he shouldn’t have gone, but because he refused to go.

But this time, he was unconscious, which means he didn’t have a choice.

And now, staring at his parents’ shocked and appalled faces next to his bed, he realized he wished he’d just died, actually.

“This happens…often?” Anne Harrington asked Dr. Owens, who looked like he wished he was also dead.

“It does happen more often than we like. But it appears to be fixed now! Steven has been a wonderful asset to us, which is why we want to make sure he is comfortable and all his medical expenses are paid.”

He handled that well, Steve thought.

“And this is the first time anyone has bothered to call us?” Richard Harrington asked much too quietly.

That was his ‘I’m about to lose my shit’ voice and Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

“I do apologize, we had to deal with enough NDAs as it is,” Dr. Owens replied, not realizing that he was speaking to two lawyers who were about to ruin his life.

Steve let his head rest against the pillow of the hospital bed, sighing.

“At what age did Steve sign his first NDA?”

“I believe he was 16.”

“And did he have a lawyer present?” Anne didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I can tell you he didn’t. We’re his lawyers and we were not even called. Are you the one in charge of this shitshow?”

It wasn’t often Anne Harrington said a curse word. Steve only ever heard it a handful of times, usually after hanging up with a client who would lose their case.

“I am one of the people who is tasked with this, yes. But if you don’t mind, I need to check in with a few people before I can truly devote time to this conversation.”

“Oh, please. Continue on with your day. Don’t mind us sitting next to our son in the hospital.”

Dr. Owens sighed, knowing this fight was barely even starting, and left the room.

Steve’s parents turned to him.

“How many concussions have you had?”

“Why didn’t you call us?”

“Who else knows about this?”

“Will this happen again?”

The questions were too much, and Steve’s head was pounding. He couldn’t do this right now.

“Hopper.”

“Jim Hopper? I thought he died.”

Admittedly, his parents had been out of town for a while. They didn’t know Hopper was back as of a few months ago, and probably didn’t realize he’d taken over as chief again.

“He didn’t. He’s around here somewhere.”

“He knew about all this?”

“Mom, I love you, but my head is splitting down the middle. I need to stop talking.”

Anne slowly brushed her hand through his hair, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Of course, honey. We’ll be back soon. Do not sign anything without us here, okay?”

“Okay.”

His dad briefly touched his shoulder before they both left the room.

Finally, some peace and quiet.

Until he was woken up by yelling.

Not just any yelling. Richard Harrington yelling.

If he wasn’t chained to the bed by an IV and blood transfusion bag, he would be up and in the hallway.

Apparently, he didn’t need to worry, though.

His mom came into the room, leaving the door open to the hallway so he could hear everything.

“I’m glad you’re awake, honey. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Who is he yelling at?”

“Every adult who didn’t bother to take care of you the way they should. Not just you, but all of these kids,” she said, tone more annoyed by the second.

“I don’t understand.”

“Honey, you’ve been protecting these kids in ways you never should have had to. All these adults who were involved never told any of us what was going on. They let you keep standing in the line of fire, getting hurt, seeing things you shouldn’t have to and never even bothered to call us. You signed NDAs with the government without parents or lawyers present. That alone is illegal, do you understand that?”

“So I’m in trouble?”

“Oh, honey, no. You’re not in trouble. Your dad’s having a few words with the chief and Dr. Owens.”

Steve tuned in to what was being said in the hall.

“I cannot fathom what you’ve done. Expecting these children to save this town, the world, and not even have their own parents know? Who are they supposed to turn to? You? And what have you done to help them? As far as I’m concerned, you should be arrested and imprisoned. If I have anything to say about it, you will!”

“Mom, can you please get him to stop? I know he’s upset, but Hop really protected us a lot, okay? And Dr. Owens was just doing his job.”

“A lot of people have just been doing their jobs instead of considering that maybe children shouldn’t be responsible for defeating actual monsters.”

Well. Yeah, she did have a point there.

“Where is everyone?”

Anne sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand, running her thumb along the back of it.

“The Munson boy is in the room next door, he’ll be okay. Robin is home with her parents. Most of the kids are now with their parents, but that Sinclair boy is still being watched for concussion symptoms.”

Steve sighed with relief.

No one was lost. Everyone had pretty minor injuries. Maybe he was able to protect everyone.

“That Dustin boy is relentless,” Anne said with a smile. “He really looks up to you.”

“Yeah, he’s like a brother to me.”

“His mom didn’t know about any of this either, did she?”

Steve thought about it.

Honestly, she probably had some idea. Maybe not of the real details, but she had to know Dustin was involved in something he couldn’t talk about. Same with most of the parents.

But Steve’s parents were gone a lot. Their main office was in Boston, and they would often have to travel around the country for their clients. He was used to not seeing them, only getting to talk to them on the phone once or twice a week.

It’s easy to hide shit over the phone, and when they did manage to make it home, the Upside Down monsters were safely tucked away underground.

They had no way of knowing anything was wrong. He did it on purpose, just like all of the kids did.

Even without signing the NDAs, he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t have told their parents.

“I think we just thought we were protecting you guys.”

“Honey, it’s not your job to protect us. It’s our job to protect you.”

She looked so sad.

Steve didn’t want her to be sad.

“Mom, you couldn’t have done anything. And we’re all safe.”

His dad walked in the room, face red. He closed the door behind him and ran his hand over his face.

“Doctor said Steve can go when the nurse comes to disconnect him from everything soon,” he said, coming to sit in the chair by his bed.

“That’s good news. We’ll get you home and settled. We canceled our flight out so we can stick around for a while and make sure you’re okay,” Anne said with a smile.

“You guys don’t have to cancel your trip. Your clients need you.”

“Not as much as you need us, son,” Richard said, giving him a soft smile.

“I’ve handled it before, though.”

“And you shouldn’t have. Trust me, this town, the government, they’ve got a shit storm coming and I’m leading it,” his dad huffed.

A knock interrupted Steve’s response, the door opening slightly before they answered.

Eddie.

“Steve? You okay?”

Steve’s parents looked at the door, then back at Steve, who was doing his best to hide the fond smile on his face.

It wasn’t working though, not when he saw the way Eddie was trying to take inventory of his injuries from across the room.

“You can come in, Eds.”

“Who’s this, honey?” Anne asked.

“This is Eddie.”

“Oh! You poor thing. I heard all about what you’ve been through. Let me just say, if we had caught wind of it earlier and knew you were Steve’s friend, we would’ve been representing you in court,” Anne rushed to say, her hands fluttering over Eddie’s when he got next to the bed.

Eddie’s wide eyes would have been amusing if Steve didn’t worry that he might run for the hills at the care his parents showed.

“Uh. Thank you?”

“Do you need anything right now? Do your parents need anything?” Richard asked, sitting forward in his chair, business face on.

“Um, just me and my uncle, but no. I’m heading home, but wanted to check on Steve before I go.”

“Of course! You guys are close friends?”

It was an innocent question. His parents just liked to know who was in his life, that’s all. But Eddie looked at him with panic written all over his face.

Steve gave him a small smile, then turned to his parents.

“Actually, he’s my boyfriend.”

They were quiet for a moment, which Steve expected. No matter how well he thought they’d take it, he knew it would be a shock.

But his parents didn’t let him down.

“How long have you been together, Steve?”

“Since March. Four months?” He watched as Eddie started to back away, probably expecting the worst.

Anne smacked Steve’s arm, forgetting for a moment that he was in the hospital for a reason.

“Sorry,” she said before crossing her arms. “You’ve had a boyfriend for four months and didn’t tell us? We could have come back and arranged dinner to meet him. I’m so sorry our son is rude, Eddie. He wasn’t raised that way, I assure you.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Um. What’s happening right now?”

“We’ll be home for a while to make sure Steve is alright. We’d love to have you over for dinner soon. With your uncle if you’d like,” Richard added as Eddie just stared between them.

“What do you like? I just got a new cookbook that has so many European dishes I want to try. Are you a fan of Polish food? You know what, no, what about Greek? We haven’t had good Greek food in so long.”

Steve was laughing, he couldn’t help it.

“Steve, what the hell is going on here?”

“Eddie, that’s my mom, Anne, and my dad, Richard. They’re kind of the best, and apparently they want you and Wayne to come for dinner. Think you can find time in your schedule?”

“Uh.”

“Oh dear. Do you have a concussion? They should monitor you kids better,” Anne worried, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks and look in his eyes. “Should I get a nurse?”

“No, mom, he’s okay. He just expected you two to freak out.”

“About what?”

“The fact he’s a man.”

“Oh! I do suppose that’s a reasonable concern.”

“Eddie, let me ask you this: do you make Steve happy?” Richard asked.

“I think so.”

“And he makes you happy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then it sounds like we have no reason to be upset. Now, dinner? Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

Steve laughed loudly.

“Eds, come here,” Steve gestured for him to come closer.

Eddie moved next to the bed, his arm bandaged, and a new cut with stitches in it on his forehead.

“Closer.”

Eddie leaned in.

Steve leaned up and kissed his lips. Just a quick peck, just enough to get the point across that this was really okay and really happening.

“Tomorrow at 6?” Steve asked before he pulled away completely.

Eddie nodded.

“And please bring your uncle, we need to discuss our plan for a lawsuit on behalf of all of you,” Richard spoke up from his chair.

“Oh. Yes, sir.” Eddie pulled away from the bed, nervously playing with his rings.

“Richard is fine, son.”

Eddie was blushing, which Steve was absolutely going to make fun of him for later.

“See you tomorrow, then?” Eddie asked awkwardly.

“Love you, Eds.”

“Oh. Uh. Yep. Love you too, Stevie.”

He raced out of the room, leaving Steve and Anne laughing quietly.

“Poor boy. Didn’t know what to do, did he?”

“No, I think he isn’t used to a positive reaction when people find out about him.”

“His uncle knows about you two, though, right?”

“Yeah, Wayne’s been great.”

“Good. Well, I’m going to find a nurse so we can go home. You should be comfortable in your own bed.”

“And I am going to make a quick call to my buddy in Chicago to see if he can pull some information on this Owens guy. We have a lot of work to do.”

Steve was used to this. For some kids, maybe this wasn’t good parenting. Maybe his parents being gone for a lot of his life had a negative impact.

But Steve never doubted how much they loved him. They still came home for every birthday, every Christmas. They still managed to take a family vacation every year. They gave him everything he needed and most of what he wanted. They supported him through everything, the proof right here in front of him now.

[lovl3igh]

alicent as a mother is always so intensive subject, cause where tg refuse to admit that alicent was a bad mother, tb don't give her justice in reasons why that happened (it's not general, both teams has exceptions ofc)

tg defend her saying it's not her fault, she was used, she didn't want those children, they forced her, but was it said otherwise? yes, she was bad mother because of her own trauma and assault she experienced but she was still a bad mother. having an "excuse" don't change that

and not every time that someone said she is not a good parent, they need to add why. no need for assuming that person who says it, doesn't know the reasons. they can say why alicent became bad parent or the way alicent shows bad parenting or that she is just that, bad mother, they can say all of it or just one thing. all of that coexists

before I'll start: there's most stuff from the show, but there's book spoilers, maybe that will be also show cannon in the future, I dunno, sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language

we have evidence of her being basically sold by her father, sa'd by viserys, forced to birth one child by another. she was motherless child forced to becoming a mother before she was ready. she was not a fan of her children, we see her unhappy with them, and when she speaks it's about dry facts like the labour and not her feelings. she does not care for them that way, which is fine bc she not wished for them and she's still a child herself, but that's a fact

we see her later with her kids and again we cannot say she became better while becoming older. she sees them as her duty (her worst enemy), her responsibility and also (admit it or not) way to put rhaenyra down. otto said to her way before jace was born that he wants aegon on the throne, he already could be accused of treason but alicent remained silent and later she acts the same way. she puts on aegon big pressure, responsibilities and also involves him in act of treason (because again she thinks it's her duty to the realm)

what's more she abuses him physically and mentally. we see her beating him more than once, screaming or neglacting him (all of that are forms of abuse). blames him for aemond's losing an eye while it was her responsibility to watch her kid or a servant and guards', not his (you can say also viserys', there was never a dispute if he's a good father, we know he isn't, it's about alicent only discussion then)

aegon in his 20s has to ask his mother if he's being loved, how sick is that? that he drowns in need of attention? (you can say he deserves all of this but the truth is alicent - and viserys ofc - failed to raise him well and now she fails to punish him, cause he should be sent to the wall, instead she beats him and let's him be a monster to another girl, now as a "king". all not to protect him but to protect his reputation, all she does there is bc of her sense of duty)

helaena hates being touched by her own mother, why wouldn't she? child bride alicent did the same to her daughter, knowing what a menace her son is. she does not understand haelena, she forces her to early marriage, childbirting, unhappy life. (and be fr, haelena might not like touching generally but 1. it's speaks even worse about alicent who touches her againts her will and married her to sexual predator, 2. she didn't mind being touched by jace who not really knowing his aunt was far more gentle)

absence of daeron would say more about their relation if not for long time skips, the truth is sending away little child is a form of neglacting however we do not know if they were in touch and how often. i know it's a common practise, i am glad that baela was at least sent to her loving grandmother in her later childhood, but I still do not like the whole ward thing and i won't comment on it in daeron's case, cause we did not see it here how was it done

I will speak about aemond x alicent relation though which is by far the most interesting. he is the only one we can say that he loves his mother and cares for her which doesn't automatically means she was a good mother for him. for the dynamic he observes alicent needs protection from men around her (rightfully so) and decides to lie to the king to protect her. not only he usually lives meeting her expectations (ekhem ekhem not anymore ig) but can initiate his actions to please her even if that means he'll go against his own wishes (searching for aegon to make him a king)

the fact is he was much miserable for not having dragons AND for being bullied. yet two things we have: first alicent as queen could easily arrange aemond going to dragonstone to claim dragon or take rhaenyra's deal to have syrax's egg. second - she blames velaryon boys as if she wasn't the one who destroyed good relations between kids and as if aegon weren't bellwether for bullying actions (YES, JACE AND LUKE ARE GUILTY TOO, but we discuss here alicent dynamics with her kids, so I point her fault right now) and she raised one child to bully others, his own siblings

then we have the children's fight and aemond loses his eyes. one of the best scene when alicent attacks rhaenyra, 10/10 love everything here. that's gonna sound harsh but alicent's behaviour here screams about duty too. it shouldn't at all, her child just lost his eye, her priority should be to comfort him. instead she wants rhaenyra to take responsibility for having bastards (that's not the case), aegon for not taking care of aemond (it's her responsibility), viserys to admitting her own sacrifices weren't for nothing. she put here herself and her needs above aemond, she used his wounds to attack rhaenyra and her children (no, I do not say she didn't care aemond got hurt, don't put words in my mouth)

"if the king won’t seek justice the queen will" she wants so called "justice", but stated by her only, where's justice in taking child's eye after accident? would she also break aemond nose for "justice"? if he'd killed luke or jace, would she call for killing aemond? it's not caring mother, it's the queen wanting revenge cause she doesn't like princess' privileges (and also privilege that bastards here have). she calms down when she realizes that she went too far, "neglected her duty", that's not aemond's doing (and also fcked up that her assaulted child feels that he needs to calm her down)

"she was ready to die for her children" desperate actions in the worst scenarios to not matter that much with previous behaviour, especially since her children were doubting if she would do that for them in the first place (that ig you can take as opinion, but if mother abuses child for years how much does it counts if she gives up her life for this child?)

regarding rhaenyra she doesn't understand a good mother patterns as well. she either doesn't care nyra will suffer or doesn't understand that mother who just gave a birth to a child, will not send it away even for a second. she doesn't care or understand mother will not allow for taking her child's eye for "duty". she doesn't understand that bastards are not any less worthy of love. her view of motherhood is sacrifising herself, not enjoying what she can

perhaps she did not know any better, her mother was a child bride (forced by old pedo otto) just like her, she did the same to helaena and unfortunately later that happened to jaehaera. she was abused in many ways but later also became an abuser. and all that because she thought life is about duty and sacrifice. she had every reason to be bad mother and she became one but that it should be seen as a fact while some of you see it as an opinion and criticism

if you read all of that - seven hells okay

[v3nusxsky]

Hello! I love your writing, and I have a request;

Larissa x teacher,fem!reader and they’ve been together for a few years and then Wednesday arrives to Nevermore and things start going downhill, the murders start and all that, so just about Larissa being overly overprotective over reader when those things happen, not letting reader out of her sight and constantly having to know where reader is because she doesn’t want reader in danger/to lose her. Reader is a bit stubborn and too independent and sometimes (for example) goes for a walk in the woods where the hyde is even though larissa told her not to bc its dangerous.

Basically fluff, larissa being overprotective, and possibly angst too!

You don’t have to write this if you don’t like the idea, also take your time!

Thank you <3

Temptations and Confessions

*Authors note~ the first instalment of my you are my world (YAMW) series and I must say I adore my Larissa Weems. Some themes may be a bit tricky so always read the warnings and check the rating love yall. Sorry to the anon for changing a few details to fit in with the series I hope that’s okay*

Trigger warnings~ Nevermore supernatural usual drama overprotective Larissa due to past trauma

Prompt~ see ask^^^

Tag list

Empathy. Often as children, we get told to have more empathy for others. But for you that’s not the case. No. You were labelled the overly sensitive child. The one who seemed to be nicknamed the cry baby. It wasn’t your fault really. Being born into two Normie parents who didn’t understand you wasn’t going to help your situation. I’m fact your ability became a curse rather quickly. It became a weakness. Others could now use this against you and it resulted in you curling in on yourself, speaking less and less, isolating yourself completely and building walls so high that they would rival the Eiffel Tower. All until you stumbled into Nevermore. Literally.

Feeling your own emotions deeply was manageable but feeling others on top of your own made everything ten times harder than it should’ve been. Your own nerves bubbled in your lower stomach uncontrollably as you made your way to the gates of Nevermore. That’s why you didn’t see it. Overwhelmed with not only your emotions but those of the whole school as well made your head spin, eyes blurring round the corners causing you to trip over a obnoxiously large stone and fall face first down to the ground. What a great impression that is.

That day led you to the current moment in time, you’ve been teaching at Nevermore for a year now, dating Larissa for a few months. Larissa’s aura immediately drew you in, a stunning mixture of gold, pink, green and light blue and slight speckles of red all swirling together in a pattern that is so uniquely hers. You adore how each colour simply is woven into each other yet still remaining visible to your eye. It is nothing short of gorgeous and even now you know you’ll never stop being stunned by the woman.

Over the past two weeks your girlfriend has had exhaustion and irritation rolling off her aura in brutal waves due to the newest student of Nevermore. In fact, you felt like you’d hardly seen her since Wednesday had arrived at Nevermore. And whenever you did, she was drained. Wherever an Addams goes, trouble and darkness will always follow, a rumour you’d heard but not had evidence of till now. The young Addams radiates black and indigo in her aura, it’s practically dripping like blood as her emotions of disinterest and annoyance seeped through. Despite not seeing the principal, you’d received many texts apologising for her lack of presence these days, reminding you she cares for you and to stay safe. Things would settle down soon. You both hoped for that. But a niggly feeling deep in your soul told you that that was simply wishful thinking.

Emotions constantly consumed you, the fear of the students impact your ability to remain neutral, to the point you were having near consistent headaches. New rules being implemented for staff and students due to what some believe is bears. Bears in the woods were believable but perhaps it was paranoia of the students effecting you or Wednesdays constant insistence over there being a monster In the woods killing people. Whatever the reason was you couldn’t do the constant headaches, anxiety hitting you like tidal waves every time you left your room, even altering your dreams now. This couldn’t go on much longer, it’s draining everyone, especially the poor Principal. Truthfully you weren’t sure what emotions were your own these day.

Shooting a quick text off to Larissa you found your shoes and jacket and got ready to leave the grounds in search of a break. Only to be stopped by a frantic round of knocks on the door of your private chambers spooked you. Instantly tapping into your ability, you knew your girlfriend was stood on the other side of the door riddled with panic causing you to make quick work of letting the woman in.

“Isa?” You puzzled, stepping back away from her slightly as the full force of her emotions hit you. “Darling! You shouldn’t leave the grounds. I can’t protect you there my love! Please don’t risk your health. I can’t imagine what would happen if-“ her own sobs choked the final words of her pleas. Tears forming in her cyan blue eyes, “I don’t like this darling girl” you couldn’t help but mumbled sadly “I need a break Isa. It’s too painful. Maybe if I can prove there’s nothing abnormal the students won’t be so paranoid. I have to try Larissa! Please for my sake let me go” you stated with the stubbornness she knew you held. Especially when it involved someone you care for. “I- I don’t like it” she whispered as her emotions clouded every word. As much as she didn’t like this, she doesn’t want you in pain either.

Warm slender fingers came to cradle your cheek as she attempted to persuade you otherwise. The blondes heart clenching with fear as you squared your jaw and pushed calming emotions into her. “I’ll be fine Isa. I promise. Just need fifteen minutes to myself away from all the madness. Larissa you must know I respect you but I need this. I’ll be back soon love” you stated before slipping under the shifters form that was blocking the doorway. You didn’t dare look back, knowing your heart would shatter into millions of tiny pieces at the hurt and anguish she was being drowned in.

One thing about Larissa Weems is she protects those within Nevermore and those who she holds dear with every fibre of her being. To see you go into the unknown alone most definitely shouldn’t be happening on her watch. But, she’d the let fear of losing you paralyse her, moments trapped in her own mind as it drew up the worst case scenarios.

The ticking sound escaping the grandfather clock seemed to be only adding to the blondes fears. You’d said fifteen minutes, by minute three she had moved back to her office and began rapidly passing the floor. A desperate attempt to calm herself was failing as she glanced again at the clock for at least the hundredth time. By minute eight, every emotion was clawing its way through the shifter inhibiting her from forming a plan. To save you from the unknown.

By minute fifteen, tears caressed pale cheeks as her chest heaved in attempt of getting enough air to fill them. You’d left. And she’d let you. Failing you in the first few months of your blossoming relationship wouldn’t booded well with her desire to love and protect you till her last breath. A lapse in her judgment that wouldn’t happen again.

As you made your way back to the grounds, shaken and sore you were immediately hit with your lovers emotions. Self hatred, solitude, love, panic, confusion and an overwhelming sadness were swirling inside of her like a mini tornado. So much so it practically made you feel more nauseous than you previously did. As you crawled into Nevermore the only thought you had was that she was right. If only you’d listened to her.

Not even bothering to knock you let yourself into the office panting slightly through the pain which caught her attention. “Are you hurt? Darling? Let me see. Are you okay? Gods don’t ever do that again! I could’ve lost you. Do you know how incredibly dangerous that is. Is that blood?” She rambled as her eyes frantically ran over your from. She immediately noted that you seemed to hold your right heel off the floor and a deep crimson stained your cheeks and left arm. Almost as if you’d been scratched by something.

“Isa” you groaned, “yes. I’m sorry. You were right” you mumbled as you tried to focus on anything but the swirling emotions that were brewing inside of you. “Stay” was all she offered as she let her long beautiful legs carry her to fetch what could only be a medical kit. Sure enough that’s exactly what she was clinging to as she moved to kneel by your saw body. “I’m sorry darling. I need to clean this up love” she murmured softly to you as she set to work on her task. A peace offering of painkillers and some bottled water to help with the physical pain. Praise flowing as she carfully cleaned and patch up the deep cuts before wrapping your ankle to help with the pain.

“Feel sick” you whimpered as she cleaned off the blood staining your cheeks. “I’ll just” she trailed off as you cut her off with a desperate plea to stay. “Please! Isa I need you here! Don’t leave me! I’m sorry, don’t go” only to be hushed and gently scooped into her arms and carried to her private quarters. From there she joined you on the bed, extra cautious of your sore body. “Okay.”

Okay. You were okay. But hurt. Alive. She reminded her self as you clung to her. She had no clue what had happened and it wasn’t her right to pry, you’d speak when you felt ready. In an effort to help with your nausea she tried to pour all her love and calming energy into you as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. You could’ve died. Left. Gone. She wouldn’t have been able to tell you she loved you. Although you knew that, she wanted the first time admitting it out loud to be perfect.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again” she mumbled dropping a sweet kiss to your head. You’d been silent for a while, chest rising and falling slowly with your eyes screwed shut as you hid yourself into her. Only natural she thought you’d been asleep. “I’m sorry I’ve let you down my darling. I can’t lose you. From here and now I’m going to make sure that you are safe. Better protection for you from emotions. Anything to keep you safe and happy. I- i- oh heavens how will I tell you when you are awake if i can’t say it now?’ I love you sweet girl. Always will.” She managed to stumble out before dropping another round of sweet kisses to the crown of your head. No verbal answer was given, but the onslaught of love forcing its way into her body was all that she needed to know.

You’d get through this together. She hadn’t lost you. And wouldn’t ever again. Stubbornly, you mumbled telling her she was protective of you. Only to be reminded that to Larissa Weems you are her whole world. Nothing is more important than your safety and happiness. Nothing. She’d deal with your stubbornness if you accepted her need to protect someone as precious as yourself from such a cruel world. Her love. Her life. Hopefully her wife. One day.

Word count ~ 2005

[vigilskeep]

how do u like get into da2 bc ive only finished it twice (compared to my 7 complete origins playthrus) and its just so like unsatisfying to me like roleplay wise. it just feels so hard to build a character and a unique story which sucks bc i like some parts of the game!! its just hard to get thru the everything else about it

at some point i’m not going to be the best person to answer this because i have the opposite problem but !! i did have an initial playthrough of da2 that is like. nothing to me bc it was so generic so i guess i did develop from that point

i think using the “colour system” of personality to its fullest really helps. especially having a “secondary colour” to use for flavour or in certain situations? if you’re struggling with your character feeling unique from other people’s characters, i would recommend avoiding primarily purple to begin with... as fun as it is, it’s kind of considered default for hawke. not to push my own agenda but for example, trying out a primarily red hawke can really refresh the game without losing entertainment value. and a blueish red and purplish red are really different, and where you use that blue or purple really alters things. and i would recommend rivalling at least one companion... let your hawke have some opinions instead of just being blank slate to win everyone over

idk da2 is the kind of developing a character i love so it’s hard for me to explain the appeal. it gives you a set of really specific circumstances and you get to decide what kind of a person those circumstances create. here are some of the major questions that distinguish one of my hawkes from another:

how do they feel about the magic in their family? do they value it or resent its dangers?

how do they feel about being the eldest sibling, pushed into protecting and leading the family? did they accept that? does the pressure weigh? how does that affect their memory of their father and their relationship with leandra?

does their father have elven heritage, or heritage from another part of thedas? how does that affect their experiences in and out of their home? do they want to engage with or ignore that part of themselves?

what did they do before the game starts? where did they get and practice their skillset?

what makes them choose the spells and abilities they use? what specialisation do they take and why? who taught it to them?

do they care about their appearance? do they care about conforming to gender norms? how do they want to look and why? do they achieve it?

do they wish they could return to ferelden, or is kirkwall their home?

are they just doing all this to protect their family and stay out of the templars’ reach, or are they ambitious? do they want money? power? the luxuries of hightown? the ability to really change things? the status their mother told stories about? do those priorities change?

what are afraid of? how do the dangers they face every day affect them? which quests linger in their memory? how do those traumas affect their decision making?

have they ever been in love before? what are they looking for in a romantic partner? is the person they fall for what they would’ve gone for, or a surprise? what is it about their romance that made them fall for them? do they hold their parents’ romance as a perfect fairytale ideal or a fate to avoid?

maybe you can’t do anything you like with a hawke, but get a few unique ideas and a cohesive and interesting enough combination of the yes/no questions, or pick an answer to one of these questions that really grabs you and take that as far as you can to its natural extreme as the centre point of their character, and you can really do a lot

(and don’t be afraid to let them have answers to the above questions that you disagree them/that are morally imperfect!!!)

[skibasyndrome]

hi i just have to say! that i think the writing for wille is perfect this season. kinda annoys me that this is a hot take but! i think it makes SENSE. everyone wants wille to be this perfect boy but he actually doesn’t have the foundation to be that person. he had a sterile and isolated upbringing where he has never had any agency while at the same time having obscene wealth and anything he could ever want except for LOVE. like cmon the only people who have probably ever said no to him were his parents!! and they were absent and loveless! and then he loses the closest person in his life only to find out that he wasn’t who he thought he was and AND that maybe he wouldn’t have accepted him. and for so long wille kept erik’s love close to his chest and used it as a life raft. his parents can’t accept him his classmates can’t accept him the world can’t accept him simon can’t see his side but erik. erik would love me through all of this even if my parents won’t. but that comes crumbling down! and i know i am just rehashing the plot of the series but BE FOR REAL EVERYONE. he was set up to be a cold, selfish, privileged asshole and the fact that he fighting back against this and having this deep internal struggle of just wanting LOVE and wanting to be with the boy he loves but he can’t and no one understands is! brave and really hard! the isolation he must feel!!! and also like!!! HE IS A PRINCE HE IS SURROUNDED BY YES MEN!! ofc he has an attitude. also he’s a teenager hello??? the writing makes sense it’s so goooodddd to me personally and edvin Understands wille and portrays this insane struggle so so well. anyway i felt the need to step in and say my piece bc everyone always gushes about how they love that wille isn’t perfect but when they portray all this internal struggle coming to the surface in unhealthy ways everyone throws a fit and turns on him. justice for wille!!!! yeah he’s an asshole but he is trying!!!!!!!! (sorry this is long no one i know irl watches this show so i have opinions)

don't apologize for this anon, THANK YOU for your great points!!!!

I agree 100% with this. Wille has always been this very flawed, very sheltered character and I LOVE what they did with him in s3 even though it really, really hurt to see it, naturally, because I just want these characters to be happy together (and I still think they will be, after some work and more talking and Wille making some decisions). But yeah, this isn't new for Wille, Wille wasn't "ruined" this season, that's the Wille we know and love and yeah, that makes a bunch of questionable decisions because of the fucked up way he grew up. But I mean that's the beauty, right, he found a guy who can finally show him that that's not something he has to be stuck in, that change is possible, that working on himself and getting better for himself and the people around him is not only important but possible. I mean Wille literally told Simon he learns from him. This id anything but easy and anything but a linear process, but he's there and he's willing to do the work!!!!!

I really try not to get too deep into any of the discussions, especially about character morality, just because we're still one episode short and also because the onslaught of theories and opinions and everything is nerve-wracking as is and I try to guard a last piece of sanity, but seriously THANK YOU for this. You put into words what I haven't been able to 💜

and feel free to come discuss YR with me any time! I know the struggle, so please, let those thoughts out :)

[juyeonszn]

AND THEN THERE IS YOU

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader (gn technically since there are no gendered terms)

WORD COUNT 1.17k

GENRES fluff ﹒very slight angst like blink and u miss it

WARNINGS another fic of mine that doesn’t require an 18+ warning… fawn in her tamed era 🙏, ur heart will ache from how </3 this is, mentions of divorce, reader had kind of a shitty childhood, reader also has some intimacy issues, hak is the most patient and kind person ever, throws up everywhere bc me when </3

SUMMARY he was content loving you until you were ready to love him.

MORE ANDDDDD my insanity strikes again!!!!1!1!1! aka in my dr. seuss william shakespeare edgar allan poe steven king arc 😍 my inspiration has been crazy lately, so enjoy this before juyeonszn goes into a drought deeper into the semester 😭 ANYWAYS MAE (@maessseongs) HERE U GO!! i kept it fluffier and kinda short bc it just felt right, i hope that’s okay with u! this is the last request from my 100 followers event so far ✨ prompts used are: 2, 7 >:)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

Relationships were a weird concept to you. Growing up, you’d never really been shown affection. Your parents weren’t the type to pack your lunch for school in the morning and send you off with a peck on the cheek followed by an ‘I Love You’.

In fact, they never told you that they loved you very often. Maybe a handful of times in your whole life did you hear those three words uttered from them. And even less did you hear that they were proud of you. It was worse when you took a step back and watched their own crumbling marriage.

As long as they’d been together, you never heard them tell the other how much they were appreciated. They fought more than they got along. You usually fell asleep to the sound of doors slamming and loud arguing in the hallway. When they finally decided to get a divorce, you almost cried out of joy. They were draining more out of you than each other.

So, perhaps that had to do with your fucked up view of relationships as you became an adult. You could never fully comprehend what love was since you didn’t exactly have stellar role models. Boyfriends came and went, losing interest as soon as they realized how disconnected you were. Your heart was never truly in it.

And then, you met Haknyeon.

Sweet sweet Haknyeon, who only cared about your happiness and your well being. Haknyeon, who didn’t ask you for more than you could give. Who didn’t push you for answers when you shut him out. Who patiently waited on the sidelines while you rebooted yourself.

If there were a higher being out in the universe, they’d done an excellent job at putting all the best qualities into Ju Haknyeon. By some miracle or a stroke of luck, he found his way to you. You’ll always think that he deserves better than you, but you’ll also always be eternally grateful that you have him.

As summer takes its last breath and the air begins to chill, leaves wilting to the streets and crunching below the feet of passersby, your motivation to get up in the mornings has started its tumultuous decline. You don’t know what it is about the change in seasons that continues to put a damper in your mood as the years go on, but it’s become almost too much to bear. It was no longer a dull pressure in the pit of your stomach and the back of your mind. Now it was a heaviness that settled in your heart and weighed you down.

It was a Thursday evening and you were tucked into bed already, despite a peek of the sun still visible over the horizon. Your head was pounding despite the room being silent. You curl into yourself further just as your bedroom door creaks open. Haknyeon whispers an apology, going to exit the room when he sees the state you’re in.

It was standard for him to leave you alone until you were ready to talk. He knew you had a hard time opening up, considering what you’d grown up with, and he didn’t want to be the person who pestered you to tell him what was wrong. He wanted you to feel comfortable coming to him first. Haknyeon couldn’t handle being the reason you were pushed to your breaking point.

But for some reason, this time is different. You don’t want to be left alone. You want to be held. You want him to kiss your forehead and tell you he loves you, unlike what you had when you were younger.

“Hak, wait,” you call, voice slightly hoarse. “Stay. Please.”

He’s taken aback by your request, but doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He climbs into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your center. In spite of the fact that this wasn’t a usual occurrence, that cuddling was something you’ve only done a couple other times, he embraces you as if this was second nature for him. As if holding you in his arms was his very life source.

“Are you sure?” He asks softly, words spoken gently into your hair.

“Mhm, I want this,” you nod, nuzzling into his arm. “I have never felt this safe with anyone before.”

Haknyeon’s breathing stutters. You’ve never admitted this to him before, you’ve never ever said ‘I Love You’, but he’s always been willing to wait. He understood that this was a new territory for you. He was content loving you until you were ready to love him, even if it took months— even if it took years. That’s how much he cared for you. In his eyes, you were the reason there were stars in the sky. You were the reason why the sun rose in the morning and why the moon shone at night.

He kisses your temple. “I’ll be here to protect you.”

You turn in his arms to get a good look at his face. Because it was so rare that you were this close, you wanted to memorize his features from this distance. You trace his cheekbones and jawline with your thumb, eyes flickering down to his lips.

You lean forward, minimizing the gap between you to press your lips into a sweet kiss, almost as sweet as him. Haknyeon gasps out of surprise, but quickly reciprocates your affection, bringing up a hand to cup your face. He allows you to set the pace, to move at a speed you were comfortable with in case this was all you wanted.

When you pull back to catch your breath, he smiles, taking in how pretty you were. He could never get enough of you. He thinks that was his biggest flaw, being so greedy when it came to you. He couldn’t help but indulge himself every time you let him, though if it were a sin, he’d gladly commit it over and over again.

“However many years we have left, I wanna spend them all with you.”

You feel the tears dripping down your cheeks before you register that you’re crying. You couldn’t possibly fathom how Haknyeon came to find love in the form of you; the hollow shell of a person who’s never felt the warmth of another human in their life. You didn’t think you deserved someone like him. The only logical explanation was that you were a saint in a past life, and the higher being you mentioned earlier was rewarding you for it.

But even so, he loved you. Enough that he wasn’t afraid to spend the rest of his life with you waking up on the other side of the bed.

He swipes away some stray tears with the pad of his thumb and kisses your nose. You let out a small laugh, connecting your lips once more. It conveys all you want to say, but you know saying it out loud will make it concrete. It’ll solidify what you’ve been building up the courage to finally tell him.

“I wanna spend them all with you, too.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[leclerced]

But if we’re talking Max? I think the moment that he’d ask to share Bunny with Lando and Oscar would be both super cute and hilarious.

He’s as much as a softie when it comes to Bunny as anyone— but I feel like he’d take it like asking the parents to marry their daughter. Asking Lando to visit him for lunch and to bring Oscar since he already used the false pretense of a f1 meeting, he’d bring their favorite things and pull out a full on presentation on how he’d add to their relationship and how he’s loved Bunny for years.

Oscar and Lando would just be giggling until he brought up the slide mentioning the ways they could all fuck— graphics included, and with testimonials from his times sharing Bunny. I’m imagining a review from Charles like “10/10 the only man I would will now ever let suck my dick & dom me”, Daniel like “The perfect sub when the time calls for it, let me make him eat Bunny out (thought he would have anyways)while I fucked her throat and I came harder than I ever have”, and a random one from Lance saying “he actually g took it seriously when I said I needed someone to teach me how to eat a girl out, I did it and Bunny came so hard she cried, 10/10”.

And all of a sudden, they’re taking it seriously— they’ve started to receive the boyfriend experience with gifts, but the ideas of what they could all do together? Now that’s what gets them to take it seriously because while they’ve gotten gifts from Lance, the second they brought up the idea of sleeping with Bunny together, he goes full “no homo” but I can’t imagine a dick near me during it, I can’t come if there’s another dude.

So after the presentation they’re like— ok let’s take a trial run.. a date and then we’ll see what happens after?- 🐝

this is so good i love it so much pls the ending ab lance made me giggleee. oscar flirting with him, knowing it’ll freak him out, just to see his reaction. he is super freaked out like “i’m into women like listen i know i used to not eat pussy but i never have and never will suck dick. at all.” and bunny and lando are losing it like five feet away bc bunny dared oscar to do it.

max having a full slide show presentation with reviews from drivers and exes is so fucking funny. he’s telling them how he’s am in incredible boyfriend, like “you have already seen all the gifts i buy y’all and how well thought they are! but also here is ten slides showing the things i did for birthdays and christmas for my exes.” and it’s like breakfast in bed and whole house is decorated for christmas bc its the only one he’s really home for, there’s piles of gifts under the tree. it looks like a stock image or something but they recognize max’s home so they joke about him paying someone to decorate it and he gets so serious and is like “um no. i did that all myself, are you fucking with me?? this is my favorite holiday.”

he has a list of dates he would take bunny (and them if they want) and its so like he’s bribing her parents bc he’s telling them he’ll pick her up on time and will drop her off at any time they want as if she has a curfew, he’ll show up with flowers, just listing all the things he would do for her to make her happy and by the end of it lando and oscar feel like bad boyfriends bc they’ve never done half the things max says he wants to, like taking bunny on picnic dates on the beach, and she’d be blushing and smiling while watching. she was already on board before max pulled out a stupidly funny yet romantic slide show to convince them. he’d probably do it in a conference room at some track and be using the clicker and a pointer stick to emphasize things.

bunny would be on the slide show after all the reviews from drivers and exes but it’s not a quote, the last slide just has the words “bunny said she misses me.” and he’s like “okay that’s all i have to say! thanks for listening.” and she’s looking to oscar and lando like a kid asking for a pony and they can’t tell her or max with their puppy dog eyes. they go on a little date and it goes really well unsurprisingly?? max dotes on all of them and they’re like sitting around a round table and its just like easy. they all just talk about expectations in a relationship and what they want and need, and by the end of it bunny is praying oscar and lando agree bc. she wants maxie to be boyfriend number three.

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

anyway necessary abuse analysis after I watched the episode bc like. c’mon I cannot avoid that.

as of episode 12, obviously i do not know much about ozai, azula (I am spoiled to hell on this show i know she exists), and even really zuko (i was not expecting him to be that obviously a child at that moment jesus fucking Christ) but i think there’s a lot you can gather from specifically the dynamic of abuse set up.

ozai clearly sees his children as extensions of himself- less as people and more as status symbols he can throw out if they stop working. and that’s really shown in the way zuko was abused. not just the very obvious severe physical abuse- not only did he severely and painfully scar his like twelve? maybe? year old son, but he likely at the very least also severely hampered his vision (look at his eye, it’s noticeably unable to open properly where the scar tissue is) and disabled him for life)- but specifically how it was set up to publicly humiliate zuko.

the agni kai was a public spectacle- there’s so many people in the audience, it’s horrifying to think about (though thankfully it seems that it's not entirely common knowledge)- one where he humiliated and degraded zuko for his lack of “honour”- which was him showing compassion and him being a child who loved his father and was terrified of hurting him and just wanted to know how to fix things. it’s a very calculated, deliberate act of abuse, and considering the severity it almost certainly was not the first instance- in fact, zuko's immediate apologetic behaviour and terror at the idea of his father seems to suggest he's been abused before, being (understandable) trauma responses.

i think the way azula acts supports this even further- she’s not at all surprised at the, again, very very severe and visceral physical abuse happening in front of her, only reacting by grinning. she has seen this before. not to this extent, nothing that left scars- or at least, obvious ones- perhaps not even prior physical abuse, but her brother being humiliated and made to feel small and worthless in front of her is something that is simply normal to her. zuko gets abused, and she watches proud that it isn’t her. it’s abusive to her too, in that sense- it’s a threat of violence, if she ever makes her father lose face. their existence is to make their father look good and to be useful- and if they aren’t, they’ll be discarded in the cruellest of ways. that is just something the two grew up knowing, one way or another.

and like, this is clearly why zuko is like that. he’s obsessed with honour because that is a tool that has clearly been used against him to justify his fathers abuse even before this- it’s an ideal he strives for because he thinks it’ll make him worthy of love. and that’s all he wants, for his dad to love him, because he is still a teenager and inherently trusts his parents and blames himself for his own abuse because of that. if he was abused and discarded, it’s his fault in his mind. he needs to fix it, he's the problem in the family. he's fixated so heavily on it because he’s convinced that it’s the only way anyone would ever love or care for him at all- and even the love his uncle shows him can’t convince him otherwise, because he can't accept the idea that he even deserves it. zuko might appear cocky, but he’s the opposite- he’s been brought up to view himself and his worth only in the value he served his father, and cut off from that he sees himself as someone worthless, someone completely unlovable, and he's desperate to fix it, because he views it as his moral failure.

i just. ugh. fucking hell. i am killing ozai with my bare hands those are children those are Tiny how can you look at like young Zuko and fucking do that he’s so obviously a child and it’s so clear this is not the first time this has happened and I’m killing and maiming. ow.

[adrian-sheppy]

Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!

hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr

I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins

i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!

but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.

...

also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.

honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).

i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons

[withered--s0uls]

Human & Vampire MD AU concept

Tws: childhood trauma, mention (no description of) child abuse, siblings being separated / taken away from parents, parental death

Disclaimer: I'm a System myself, so any talk about DID/OSDD1 here is based off my experiences and adjusted to fit a fantasy setting. This may not match everyone's experience with being a System and I'm sorry if it doesn't match yours or you don't feel it's accurate enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so my Take on a Human/Vampire AU right?

N & Cyn:

N and Cyn are biological siblings. Their birth parents were not good to them. Cyn (not her name at this point) does develop DID because of this as a young child.

A conflict happens in the family and N gets separated from his sister. They lose contact. N has always been her safe person and safe space, so this experience is extremely stressful and traumatizing. This results in the system splitting a factive Introject of him. "N"s job in the system is to take care of the body physically and emotionally when need be and to be a comfort to the other alters (Caretaker/Caregiver/Soother, Emotional Protector). Aside from "N" there already were two other alters before him.

C & Y.

C is a Protector/Avenger and Gatekeeper, she typically deals with conflict and arguments and is more outspoken about things. However, if a situation requires them to seek a hiding spot for safety she will opt for that as well.

Y is a trauma Holder and little who is stuck at the time of the trauma, meaning they don't age up and are forever the age range the body was during the trauma / when the trauma started.

Throughout the next 1-2 years there are two more fully formed alters (the system probably has fragments that aren't as developed too, but I'll only touch on the alters that matter for the AU story).

Cyn & Solver.

Cyn picks her name based on the three alters already existing, She is the new host of the system (prior there wasn't a clear host). Cyns Identity also is what the system uses as their "Singletsona".

Later on the body gets infected with the vampire virus. How I still need to settle on, but I am tempted to make the parents neglect and abuse part of the cause.

The process of turning is painful and traumatic, and Solver splits. In the headspace, Solver takes the form of the body as a vampire.

Solver is a Persecutor (under the definition misguided protector - harming the system and its surroundings as a form of protection).

They and "N" tend to co front for making sure the body feeds, "N" because it's part of his Caretaker job to make sure they eat and drink & Solver bc they're the only alter comfortable with the whole Vampire situation.

Eventually Cyn finally gets taken away from her abusive parents and the system ends up in an orphanage.

Here they socially officially change their name to "Cyn", wanting to separate themselves from their past life and self. The only thing they don't want to forget is N, and they haven't heard from him since they were separated.

Until one day the Elliot Family comes to the Orphanage - or well, the parents and two of their kids. Tessa and their adopted son.

Said Son and Cyn make eye contact and recognize each other as N & his little sister. N pulls his adoptive parents aside and points to Cyn, telling them that he's pretty sure that's his little sister.

After some confirmation, both between the siblings and also with official documents, the family adopts Cyn as well, reuniting the siblings!

It seems fine until the vampire situation becomes an issue. The family doesn't know. The secret and whole vampire thing in general puts stress on the system.

Solver fronts to feed, and ends up feeding off and infecting N and V. Another night it happens again with J. (Harming the body as a form of protection in this case; making the system feel more ashamed and guilty about the vampire situation to be sure they won't tell someone who could actually hurt them.)

N, V and J after turning make sure to keep Cyn fed so Tessa and the parents never get turned.

Also technically Cyn isnt aware of the system beyond thinking the alters are "imaginary friends". Mainly bc many systems dont figure it out until they are much older so I feel making a kid aware of it would be a little inaccurate. Not saying it never happens but still.

N does take note that Cyn sometimes acts "off" but puts it down as not having seen her in 2-3 years and her probably having experienced more trauma since, not to mention the vampire situation once he learns of that.

Uzi:

Uzi lives with her single father Khan. Her mother died when she was really young for reasons Uzi doesn't know of.

Nori was a vampire, however Uzi doesn't know this. Uzi did inherit the virus but it is dormant and inactive.

Uzi is kind of an outcast at school, bullying and all, ever since she can remember. The only person who doesn't really judge her is Thad who hangs out with her sometimes.

This changed when the Elliots adopted N and he switched schools, joining Uzis class. His friendly demeanor causes him to actively try to befriend Uzi, even tho she's more than happy just hanging out with Thad occasionally. Over time however N manages to worm his way into her heart and they become friends and she starts helping him with math homework.

(V, J and Tessa attend the same school but are in parallel classes btw)

They're friends for about 1,5 - 2 years when the whole Cyn reunion and vampire infection happens.

How Uzi finds out about this is still on the table but oh well. Also, Uzis own vampirism becomes active, turning her too. Now here is two ways I can't decide between this could have happened.

N has told her about having turned a vampire, due to suddenly avoiding places with lots of sunlight and preferring evening hangouts and sleepovers over their typical day/afternoon hangouts. Also he stinks of sunscreen lol. --- one time, N desperately needs to feed but they're in a situation where he cannot do it (be it they are at school or on a trip or whatever - he cannot go away to try and find some wild animal to feed off of) so Uzi offers him that he can gave some of her blood. He hesitates, not wanting to hurt her. She insists because he's visibly not okay and she trusts him. He promises he won't turn her (as vampires can choose whether or not to inject the virus into their prey) and they get a quiet corner for him to feed off her. Everything seems fine until the following days Uzi has symptoms of turning. N had kept his promise, but being bitten awakened her own dormant virus. She doesn't know this tho and accuses N of lying to her and purposely turning her. They argue and their friendship takes a huge hit. Uzi turns to V and J instead of him to ask about what to do and how to keep herself fed and relies on V for help on her first few nightly escapes to hunt. Uzi would shut her down whenever she brings up how guilty N feels and how he misses her. She's mad at him until eventually finding out about her mother being a vampire (still deciding how) and then realizing it's not his fault. She feels guilty for blaming him and thinking he would break her trust and she then does everything in her power to make it up to him. He's upset she would think he's lying and genuinely believe that for so long, but he's happy to have her back.

Option 2 is Uzi and one of the vampire siblings both being hurt. They patch each other up and Uzi notices their blood being black (a vamp hc ive had since I was a teen lol) and asks about it, finding out about the situation. However during the patching up of wounds, some of the black blood enters her wound which activates her own vampire virus.

One option for this is that Uzi hurt herself prior to helping N watch Cyn and Cyn gets hurt whilst N isn't in the room. Uzi helps her and in the process Cyns blood gets into Uzis injury.

[ I am open for situation suggestions with N, V and maybe J ]

J & V:

Dont have a lot about them except that J was adopted first, she's a little older than Tessa even. V was adopted alongside N from where they were in the same orphanage.

J doesn't like Uzi when N starts hanging out with her. V does somewhat get along with her tho and helps Uzi when her own Vampirism activates.

Tessa:

Tessa is unaware of her siblings vampirism for the most part. She did notice them seemingly eating less though and is a little worried about that, she makes them snacks she knows they like to try and make sure they eat enough.

I feel if anyone were to tell her, it would be N. And he wouldn't tell that it's all of them. Only him and maybe Cyn, as he can pass that off as "well we ARE biological siblings after all".

Idk that's all I got for now.

Also Nori was either

killed by Khan after he found out she's a vampire

Died due to extended exposure to sunlight

Killed by vampire hunters

Majorly injured by hunters or the sun so Khan had to take her out of her miserly

:(