#bc their relationship is definitely something worth studying

[teddy-bear-d]

My favourite flavour of desert duo screenshots are the ones where Etho is just there, like look at this:

[aliteralsemicolon]

what do u think about Maeve as a character and as a love interest for Spencer?

Well she definitely exists. She was definitely a canon love interest 😐 I choose to forget a lot of details from that whole incident on purpose. Talking about this is just beating a dead horse bc I think my opinion is just a general consensus.

but here's what I think anyway:

The storyline

I won't talk about it for long because I feel like it's obvious, but the whole situation was handled so poorly. It kinda just showed up out of no where on one random peaceful day. What do you mean Maeve didn't want Spencer to get the BAU involved because 'it could endanger him'? Babe, he's already in danger just by being in a relationship with you, but I guess that just doesn't fucking matter. Also, what the fuck do you mean that Spencer just went along with it? I'm sorry? Spencer Reid, who becomes very impulsive when it comes to the wellbeing of his loved ones? He just agreed to sit back? Not even investigate in his free time?! By the time ZUGZWANG happens, we as viewers know how the BAU operates. The BAU was more than equipped to successfully deal with Diane. We know what they're supposed to do in a stalker situation, but for some reason they ignore nearly every goddamn protocol and then they're surprised when Maeve dies??

Maeve as a character

Listen, I don't dislike her because she was Spencers love interest. I'm actually somebody who's very keen on love interests for Spencer. I want that poor man to be happy. I dislike Maeve because she's one of the worst recurring characters on the show. She's very morally annoying. Not grey, annoying. Maeve is a geneticist. Geneticists, for the most part, study gene interactions and evolution. She has no fucking business diagnosing and prescribing shit from one look at an MRI scan. I don't even wanna talk about how medically inaccurate the migraine bit of the storyline is. Somehow it gets dumber. I don't know what she said for sure, but I know for a fact that she said something like she had to get to know Spencer because of how interesting he seemed. FROM HIS MRI SCANS?! Are we ignoring how unethical this is? Please, I cannot fucking do this. But there's more. Apparently she loves Spencer. She says as much at the end of a phone call AND literally writes that one love quote in the Narrative of John Smith for him. She loves Spencer, but fails to mention how she was engaged literally not long before she met him. And she doesn't feel an ounce of guilt or sadness when he ex-fiancé (whom she also supposedly loved) gets shot in the head in front of her? Also there's certain times where she just comes off as very emotionally manipulative, but in the dumbest way possible. The thing is that I don't even hate her because she's like this. Some of these things actually give the character potential to become a really interesting and complex character. It's because she tries to come across as the opposite. The writers try very hard to portray her as an intelligent, good and innocent character, but everything she does is very selfish and stupid. Personally, if I was a geneticist and some fucker reached out to me to ask about his MRI scans I would redirect him to a fucking neurologist or something.

Maeve as Spencer's love interest

She's introduced to us a mysterious woman over the payphone. We get glimpses of her body in a dark room and we watch her fiddle with things while walking around, but we don't actually get to see her face until later. Her voice is meek and sultry. If this sounds like some wattpad introduction then that's because that's literally what it is. Maeve is introduced to us in a very Y/N esc way. The whole relationship is very much wattpad story written by a 14YO back in the day. Wait I take that back, even fucking 14YO's writer better shit. At least their stories were worth ruining your sleep schedule for. I can't even be upset, Maeve is literally not the first female character portrayed this way on the show *cough* Jane Seaver *cough*. MGG didn't want Spencer to have a love interest so Maeve was written to die. I just wish they at least tried to do the characters and the story justice. Viewers couldn't even connect to Maeve because she was just thrown at us one day and then literally killed a second later. Even if she wasn't unlikable I find it very hard to imagine that I would've cared about her death, because I literally had no time to bond with the character. It's also just very awkward when she shows up after her death because I feel disconnected with Spencer's emotions. Mentally, I know that she's his first great love or whatever, but emotionally, I do not give a fuck. She does not match Spencer's freak. What she is, essentially, is a female version of Spencer (but through the male gaze because she's a woman so ofc she's slightly dumber and Y/Nified). Spencer is one of the most complex established characters on the show and Maeve as a partner for him is just very boring. And even if she's was interesting, I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE the actors have no chemistry together. He's had more chemistry with love interests that lasted for a way shorter period than he does Maeve. Ironically, the most chemistry he has is with the one person he despises the most (Cat Adams) and I think that speaks volumes. God, I wish so badly that they utilised the bar tender he did a magic trick for or the forensic scientist in that bombing episode.

Again, I'm pretty sure most of the fandom feels this way. I'm fairly confident that I might have more to say, but I cannot be bothered anymore.

[grandlinedreams]

Hiii, long time lurker first time requester here!! (on anon bcos tumblr is my safe place, I hope that’s okay :3) I was wondering if I could submit a request before you close them? 💕

I love how you write lighthearted scenes with Law, it’s always the perfect balance of comedy while staying true to his character! So, may I propose: the fake relationship trope with Law x reader?? Yknow the iconic scenario when two characters who are definitely not dating find themselves in a sticky situation so the reader pulls the ‘oh this is my boyfriend/girlfriend’ card completely out of the blue and the other person just has to kinda go along with it so as not to blow their cover?

Idek how that would even come about in a scenario involving Law but I just know he would be so exasperated but still committed to going along with it hehe

Anon your mind is 😙👌🏼 chefs kiss I love that trope and I hope that I made it work well bc i wanted to go the humor route but decided that the Kaz/Inej coding of reader and Law needed some more food so ㅡ

[heads up!: spy!reader, reader is not specifically gendered but they do wear a dress, angst, Law's a lil dumb okay]

The party is beautiful. 

Soft orchestral music plays over the soft din of conversation, the sway of couples in lavish clothing and practiced weaving of staff through the clusters of socialites, trays of food held aloft and offered at various intervals.

Flute of champagne in hand, you watch from your place near a pillar, half-studying the people around you, half watching the fizz of tiny bubbles in your glass. 

"Not much of a dancer?" The speaker's tone is light and conversational, and when you look over, you half-recognize the man now standing next to you. He's the grandson of the man hosting this entire soiree ㅡ and you turn towards him.

"Unfortunately no," you answer with a demure smile, then dip your head to look through your eyelashes, tapping the rim of your glass against your lip. "I'm waiting on someone." 

You know his type, playing right into the invisible appeal as his gaze flickers, then brightens as he offers you his arm. "Perhaps I can at least offer a dance in the meantime?" 

Your smile widens just a little, the careful bat of your eyes. "Perhaps you can."

Your flute is set down in favor of tucking your arm into his and allowing him to sweep you out further onto the floor with the whisper of your dress against your legs. It's heavy and far from what you're accustomed to, but worth the extra beri for the way you fit right in amongst the others.

The press of his other hand is warm against your back, just shy of touching exposed skin ㅡ and you welcome the touch of dizziness from the champagne to keep from balking at the idea of him touching you. 

"This person you're waiting for," your partner says as he leads you through a graceful arc past another couple, "shame on them for keeping such a lovely creature such as yourself waiting for so long."

Your skin crawls, even as you laugh softly. "I assure you, they'reㅡ"

"There you are." A familiar voice makes you turn, finding sharp gold eyes focused on you, then your partner. Trafalgar Law looks less than thrilled about much at any given moment but right now, he looks livid, jaw taut as he watches you and your partner scramble for something to say.

"My apologies," your dance partner says, his expression shifting to mask his discomfort at Law's sudden appearance. "I take it that this is your…"

"My boyfriend," you answer smoothly, sheepish and apologetic as you disengage your arm from his and step towards Law. "It was lovely to dance with you. But if you'll excuse us for a moment?"

You don't give him or Law a chance to answer, grabbing the latter's hand to pull him with you as you hurry away as quickly as your dress and situational awareness will allow you. You're still working, after all, even if Law showing up has potentially jammed a wrench into the cogs. 

What is he even doing here? You want to demand answers, furious that he'd decided to show up unannounced ㅡ like he doesn't trust you. That alone both stokes your fury and douses it in cold water, an odd juxtaposition that ultimately just makes you feel sick.

Law lets you drag him down the hallway, the hard click of your shoes against the marble floor, studying the bounce of your carefully styled hair, the way the jeweled end of your hairpin sways with your movement. 

You'd been lucky enough to weave your web of deception strong enough to secure yourself a place to stay close to your target, and you let go of Law's hand in favor of fussing with the door before yanking him inside.

Law watches your shoulders sag with visible relief as you shut the door, then turn towards him. "What were you thinking? I had this under control." 

He knows. He knows you're more than capable of handling things like this, have proven yourself time and time again ㅡ he doesn't need to check in on you. But he doesn't want to admit the real reason, that he'd been jealous of someone else's hands on you, touching you the way he should be. 

Of course he'd never admit that, he'd rather take it to the grave with him than offer the open wound of vulnerability when he isn't sure you'd return his feelings. 

"You know what?" You say when he's quiet for too long, tone sharp with hurt wrapped in exhausted disbelief at his actions, "I don't want to hear it." 

He should apologize. Tell you that he hadn't meant to almost blow your cover, that he hadn't been thinking ㅡ but instead he watches you cross the room with the rustle of your dress, trying to clean up the clutter of just hours before.

"I just wish you'd trust me," you say, and Law can tell that it's more than just tonight that's bothering you. 

"I do trust you."

You scoff, silence broken by the hard click of plastic cased cosmetics that you toss roughly back into your bag and then reach to tug the pin out of your hair. "Could have fooled me."

Your tone is scathing, all raised hackles and sharp teeth ㅡ remnants of the wild thing you'd once been and in some ways still are. You, for all your sharp edges and uncomfortable truths, still find a way to nestle in his chest, tuck yourself in his heart in ways that terrify him. 

Your huff of frustration breaks Law out of his thoughts to find you struggling with the zipper at the top of your back, and he crosses the room without thinking.

The silent bat of his hand against yours makes you stiffen, hands moving to the bodice of your dress as he pinches the key of the zipper between his fingers.

"I do trust you," he repeats softly. He struggles, the drag of the zipper teeth agonizingly slow. "I apologize if I haven't made that clear." 

You stare at the mess of your bed. "I don't understand what the issue is, then." Your words are a knife you know how to wield and do it well, tight grip on the hilt and sharp tip at proverbial underbelly. "You do your job, I do mine. It's simple."

And yet it isn't. As much as Law wishes that it were, it's far from it. Because he cares about you, cares for you in ways he's trying so hard not to. 

The slow gap of your skin exposed, soft and unguarded that entices him, makes him want in ways he knows he shouldn't. You should pull away, demand he leave, that you'll see him later when you return to the Polar Tang. 

You don't. Instead, you let him pull the zipper down further. And maybe, if he were a different man, that would be enough. 

It isn't. 

The ghost of his fingers against your back makes you stiffen, but you don't discourage him. They slide along the slope of your shoulders, make an invisible path he entertains the brief fantasy of following with his mouth.

And maybe he could, maybe you'd let him ㅡ after all, you'd told those party goers he was your boyfriend. It'd been hasty, quick thinking on your part, but brilliant ㅡ as always. You never miss a beat, always thinking ahead. What he admires about you is the same thing that drives him crazy ㅡ you're always ahead of him, even in this. He knows, and is aware all he has to do is meet you in the middle.

He pulls away. 

"Do you regret allowing me to join your crew, Law?" Your voice, ever that blade, slices through the uncomfortable silence to twist deeper into the ache of his chest. "If you do, this is the perfect time to tell me to leave. I'm sure you can come up with something to tell the others."

You're offering him an out. A way to escape this complicated tangle, let him deflect and deny until you're nothing but a distant memory and a handful of reminders left around the Polar Tang. He should let you leave. 

"I want you," he says instead, and he means to follow that up with something, but it falls flat in the now stilted gap between you. 

You exhale. "You want me." 

You turn towards him, moonlight against the slope of your neck, the dip of your collarbone. Your eyes gleam, flashing with emotion. "And how would you have me, Law? Fully clothed, head turned so our lips can never meet?" 

That knife slips between his ribs and up, punctures his heart, lets him silently bleed out between every breath. He's reminded that you don't wear the boiler suit, your clothes unadorned with his jolly roger ㅡ a reminder that he does not own you (nor does he want to. He just wants you to stay.), and you are not his. But you could be, you tell him silently. You need him to meet you in the middle. That's all.

Something in your face shifts, breaking in his silence. "I will have you without armor, Trafalgar Law, or I will not have you at all." 

[a-wendellandwild-fan]

Hello! Im super excited for the movie to come out, i always thought this when i stumbled upon here, how would the demon bros act around someone they like? (Crush or not)

How would the Demon Brothers act around someone they like.

Ok I'm actually really happy you sent this bc I actually have headcanons of this so LET'S GO.

Warnings: None.

Notes: These headcanon won't specify the gender of the reader, and it's all written in third person.

Wendell.

Platonic.

Honestly, it's a miracle that Wendell starts liking other people, since he's always been right under his father's eyes. So, after all that's been happening with that little Hellmaiden, her introducing him to someone his "age" (sort of, physically at least) that's actually quite the expert with demons was... What he would consider a gift from the Heavens.

Obviously, he's wary. I headcanon that Wendell doesn't have many friends since Belzer doesn't seem to be the type of guy that just allows other creatures to interact with his two last sons.

But the moment Wendell finally feels like they're not worth his distrust, he simply shows his goofy self to them.

Musicals. He needs them to live, and you find this out pretty quickly. He cries the moment you show him two tickets to Hamilton.

He's definitely, just like his brother, the type of friend that would tell his best friend "If he treats you like an option, your pussy goes out for adoption". And he'll say it until they treat themselves better.

He also reminds them that their standards are way too low when it comes to romantic relationships with other humans.

Wendell is the type of friend that teases them to death, but the moment another fucking peasant thinks of not addressing them with fucking respect, he's throwing hands.

He also begs them to do either their makeup, or their nails. He loves making them prettier than they already are.

The man would steal a car and say "Get in, whore, we're going to Las Vegas" while dressing like he's ready for a carnival.

Literally would kill and die for them. No questions asked.

Romantic.

MAN, HE'S AWKWARD.

The eldest of the Demon Duo knows NOTHING about dating and he sure knows better than to ask his own family about any sort of advice.

Either his beloved human dated before him or not doesn't really matter to him, just as long as the both of them learn together how this would go is the best he could ask for.

He's incredibly shy about really bold public displays of affection, but he's all in when holding hands and kissing their knuckles.

The first time the both of them share a bed, it caught him by surprise when they embraced him from behind and basically turned him into the little spoon. He probably cries that night out of relief, but refuses to let go off his S/O for a long while.

Demands to try and be the big spoon the very next morning.

Wendell doesn't seem to be the kind of person that actually uses pet names with his partner. Maybe he'll start calling them "dear" or "love" if his partner starts with the pet names (which, truth be told, it'll fluster him), but otherwise, the idea won't really cross his mind.

Hearing him singing is a bliss for his S/O, but he doesn't seem to notice that. He'll start singing when his bored or way too excited, and if he saw the sparkling in their eyes, he would understand just how much they love him.

If they ever feel something slipping through your sleeves, or under your shirt, or maybe even wrapping itself around one of your ankles, they may as well turn around to see a pouty Wendell. That cute sight only happens when his partner is just so focused on something like work or studies there's just too little time for him. So they better let him be near them or else he'll whine more.

Boy, if they weren't sure Wendell was the serious type, that thought sure vanished the moment the human saw him play with bugs like a cat with yarn.

Wild.

Platonic.

The man just lets lose the moment he starts trusting his bestie-to-be human. But before that? Well, anyone could tell he's only teasing.

This fucking maniac just loves his best friend, its actually quite the sight. They say they like milk with cereal? Boom, the cereal and milk factory is theirs. They like cats? No problemo, they get a like ten boxes filled with kittens the next morning. They like fancy clothing? Now they own Gucci.

Is he going overboard? Yes, and thru tell him that, explaining that while they love the gestures, it's a bit tad much.

He feels ashamed and a little bit hurt for a few minutes, but the more he's beign explained, the better he understands.

Playful cheek bites are a must. They figured it's just something demons do, but turns out it's Wild's habit when he likes something or someone very, very much.

He hypes his friend so, so much. He expects them to be treated like a fucking angel and nothing else.

Ice cream hangouts are a must. He loves seeing them just do whatever, but their face when they love their favorite food so much their eyes shine like stars? Man, he wishes he could put that on a frame.

He's socially awkward, but he's getting the hang of beign best friends with a human.

Romantic.

He plays it all smug but they can see through it all. The poor boy is insecure and he's almost sure that he'll fuck up. The whole incident with his dad and brother left some wounds on him.

The poor man basically needs a lot of reassurement, even if he doesn't say it out loud, the little looks he gives at his partner every time he does something can easily be translated as "Did I do good?"

He's always showing such a bubbly and funny personality that his partner probably doesn't even think he's so insecure until he breaks into tears out of nowhere.

Takes a while to calm him down and another bunch of minutes to get him to talk, but through gentle talk from his partner, he finally talks. And even if it's not much, it's enough.

It takes a while for him to accept the fact that his S/O won't judge him for a few slips.

But other than those few "down days" that he has, he's trying so hard to be a smooth talker, it's actually hilarious. The many, many times his human told him that always make him smile because he knows that. He loves making them laugh.

He basically begs them to please rub his belly. PLEASE. He loves it when their hands gently caress his skin, sometimes tickling him. His partner sure finds it a surprise that he can purr so loudly.

He doesn't really expect it when his beloved flirts back at him, but after the initial shock is off, he sure finds it amusing. It becomes his favorite thing.

Other will find them sleeping in this one funny position: Him laying on bed face up, and his S/O on top of his belly. Truly a sight to behold.

Uses his tail to hold their hand or to bother them. There's no in-between.

Definitely let's you treat him like the little spoon, but when he's the big spoon? Oh, man, he's such a cuddle bug.

[bolithesenate]

BOLI I'M HERE FOR YOU BOSS 7 for Sifo, 15, and 23 please :D

MY MOST TRUSTED SOLDIER

7: is there piece of clothing I think Sifo is very fond of

Uhhh, honestly, I haven't really thought about that at all. The low handing fruit would be to say some sort of shirt he stole from Dooku, but that's too easy.

both for me and for Sy.

So imma lean out on a branch here and say he actually has a pair of Jocasta's archivist tabards. She does NOT know he has them and he DEFINITELY wants to keep it that way. there's no way of telling what her revenge would be if she ever found out, but that's what makes having them all the more fun and interesting.

It's about the thrill of the unknown.

15: have you noticed your style change over time

HA

SURE

i mean, especially my drawing style changes with the stand of the sun, the constellation of the planets and with the way the neighbor's cat looks at me.

i think consistent style change is most evident in how I draw manga, actually. Something you lot here on tumblr might actually have not seen ever, now that i think about it. lol. there my style actually is rather consistent throughout mediums by now, something i cannot say about my style when i draw outside of that setting :P

But also with writing I think there was some progress. at least I like to call it progress (the main thing that comes to mind is that i've started using less brackets and more indents, but whether or not thats a good thing is up in the air lol)

23: has my favorite character/ship changed over time

changes with the moon, the sun, the way the wind blows.... most of the time I don't actually have a fixed favorite (shocking, I know)

like,I will say that Sifo and Rael are blorbos supreme, but that doesn't necessarily make them my favorite characters.

my favorite is whatever character works nicest for whatever shenanigans i am planning for my current project. I think that has always been like that.

same with ships, i actually need to change things up once in a while bc too much of the same thing grows boring to me and then I lose interest. (which is why my most recent fad is to just expand existing ships i am fond of into continuously growing poly circles XD It is turning into a bit of a problem) (yes, this is mud-fic relevant TT)

I think another thing worth mentioning here tho is that in regards to ships the most notable change is that I ship things at all. Initially when I started out I was very much a Gen baby and wanted more stories that didn't hinge on some romance for plot-furthering. Which is why my older stories also are all Gen.

I still think that a good story doesn't rely on romance, but I've since come to appreciate the character studies that come with romantic/sexual relationships and how they influence people. Also sometimes I just look at two (or more) characters and thin "ho, ho, wouldn't it be HORRIBLE if they fucked?"

[heich0e]

but how many Touya's do you have and which one is your favorite? :)

there are so many of them but off the top of my head....

established touyas in the heich0e dot tumblr dot edu blogosphere:

first love!touya (who falls in love with shouto's gf because it's the first time he sees a happy/healthy relationship and conflates yearning for wanting)

under the weather!touya (aka childhood best friend to break and enterer to almost lovers)

childstar!touya (who definitely has a thing for his makeup artist)

comedown!touya (who is currently watching u get felt up by his little brother natsuo because you took something at a party that has you overheated)

instagram hater bf!touya

nepo baby bf!touya (feeling u up while you try to help him study)

a couple different iterations of dad!touya (new dad touya.... gentle-ish parenting touya.... etc, etc.)

+ more probably?? but i'm little and stupid

SECRET touyas in the international girl of mystery liv WIP folder:

bartender!touya (w a big fat crush on his coworker)

boys day out!touya (sibling bonding goes awry when the girl touya has a crush on shows up and his brothers make it their problem)

literal babysitter!touya (shouto is the baby! SFW)

figurative babysitter!touya (YOU ARE HIS BABY BUT SHOUTO IS ALSO THERE. N-O-T (spelled-out for emphasis) SFW)

blacksheep!touya (ft. former escort!reader... there's also a shouto love triangle here. apparently i like when brothers share things?)

multiverse!touya (i can't talk about this one it upsets me.)

+ a couple others that aren't as established/planned out/worth mentioning

idk if i can choose a FAVOURITE bc they are all my babies... but atm i am feeling rather down to clown w first love, child star, boys day out, bartender, or possibly even comedown!touya hmmmmm

[faith--in-the-future]

seeing the latest louis’ quotes i wonder what he’s like in relationship…is he the mature one or is he more emotional and “ready to fight” type of person? he’s definitely mature in his words and his way of thinking but also i just think that sometimes emotions are getting better on him and he’s not thinking rationally…he’s very complex person and i honestly find it fascinating, i want to study him hahaha

BESTIE I love this topic I think about how he is like "off camera" allll the time like the things I'd do to be able to know him in a normal setting!!! and don't get me wrong I don't think that his core values and his personality are any different irl but I do think he must be even more fascinating when he's not actively "performing" for interviews and such and when he can relax and talk spontaneously!

for what regards how he's like in a relationship I think based on his lyrics that he's actually really mature and that he really doesn't like fighting and yelling and if he can do anything to avoid it he will, including suppressing his own arguments/needs for the other person bc he genuinely believes in the importance of love above everything (sometimes to a fault, although the fault is really of the people who take advantage of this) .

this was also reflected in the lyrics we got of written all over your face when even as the other person is angry and "a hurricane behind the door" and trying to instigate fights with him he's just telling them "when we're finished saying nothing can we please get back to loving?" "can we please get back to us?" like that's really all he wants, I think here we can see another example of what he was feeling in defenseless , he's too tired to fight he's "too tired to be tough [he] just want[s] to be loved by you" and he tells the other person "when u figure out what we're fighting for I'll be ready to talk" again showing maturity and also distaste for this useless and unjustified fighting while at the same time always keeping his heart open for the other person. I think there's a lot of maturity but also bravery in the way louis navigates relationships because he's constantly showing the other person his complete vulnerability, he's defenseless, no weapons, no screams, he just lays his heart there, ready to talk , ready to be loved, and that can be incredibly scary and dangerous especially when on the other side you have someone who's come "ready for a war" and that "keeps on building up [their] fences" and has left and hurt him before, but for louis it's always worth it

also in waoyf like in defenseless he tells then that he can see through their act, he knows the other person is trying to fight over nothing and in defenseless he tells them that he can see through their facade of "acting like u feel no pain you know I know you do" so I think being with him must also mean that you probably wouldn't be able to hide much of your feelings from him bc hes really attentive and perceptive of other people's emotions, especially of those he loves.

in general I think he does feel very strong emotions and can sometimes have a bit of a temper but from what we've seen I think when it comes to personal relationships he prefers to be mature and to talk heart-to-heart.

and he's also imo more inclined to feel strong negative emotions towards himself rather than towards other people, we saw him struggle with nerves on multiple occasions and in those occasions we saw helene helping him via reassurance about his own artistry and talent (remember the afhf doc where she was telling him that he was so nervous because he's a perform and that's a good thing ! ) and he himself has spoken about positive visualization and reassurance as something that helps him

and in his own songs at least in walls we've heard him blame himself and Apologize a lot so I think he has no problem apologizing and he's often the first to do so

overall I think louis is a very complex, multifaceted, fascinating and intelligent person, he does have a loud personality and strong opinions and emotions but he can also be really introspective, mature, honest and gentle

[cieloclercs]

lover, you should’ve come over - let's do f1 or tennis you can choose, male preference!

I'm currently a 3rd year in uni studying statistics with a triple minor holy hell, in CompSci, Business Analytics, and Mathematics. I'm in my uni's marching band and I play the tuba, I'm on staff and I adore my rookies. Literally the shortest person in the section but I love the jokes they're all good fun.

Something about my face screams to people to tell me all about their relationship woes/stories and I honestly don't mind I love getting to know them a bit more. I'm not huge on physical touch but I'll warm up to it if you're a close friend. Very fluent in sarcasm but I know when to pull back. My friends would say I'm very dependable and chill. My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time.

I love to bake when I have the supplies, huge marvel nerd movies + comics, I'm horrible at finishing tv shows I either binge it all in one night or it'll take me 5 months to finish one season, tysm!

i ship you with sebastian vettel!

— ok so i know seb isn’t technically on the grid anymore and he’s kind of old BUT if we’re talking younger red bull seb omg this is SPEAKING to me !! you seem like such a go with the flow person but at the same time super ambitious and just like you know exactly what you want ?? if that makes sense ?? correct me if i’m wrong but that’s the vibe i’m getting from this 😭 and i feel like red bull seb would ADORE that

— ok you have no idea how much i love this imaginary dynamic but i’m picturing seb being totally infatuated with you before you guys get together, and i’m talking like he’ll follow you around, flirt shamelessly and basically just do classic seb things, but (at first) you’d shoot him down every. single. time. mostly just because you find it funny watching him tie himself into knots BUT ALSO maybe because you’re a little intrigued 😏😏 i can imagine you’d keep up this pretence for a while wondering when seb will finally have had enough and move onto his next conquest, BUT WHEN HE DOESNT you begin to think that maybeee this guy is worth sticking your neck out for 😏

— of course once you guys are together, the shameless flirting still won’t stop. i mean who are we kidding it’s sebastian vettel being a flirt is part of his genetic makeup 😭 but you have this superpower where you can just not react and it’s so funny because seb will turn it into some kind of competition to see who’ll crack first (you always win 😉) honestly you guys are the funniest couple ever but in the driest kind of way. i genuinely love you both. if this was real you’d be my otp (i’m getting too invested 😔)

— mini head cannon bc i forgot to add it in before: seb is fully convinced you’re the smartest person on earth and if anyone argues otherwise he will FIGHT them. even if they’re arguing einstein is smarter he’ll still do it. the guy honestly worships you and it’s hilarious (but also v cute 🥹)

— you’re definitely kind of seb’s mental health support 😭 like he’ll tell you everything that goes on in his team, and i mean everything (even when he’s not supposed to 🤫) when he has a bad race, you’re there to listen to him and let him just vent out all his frustrations. when he has a good race, you’re always there to lift him up. i feel like the kind of mutual understanding you guys have is really rare. like, the kind of bordering on telepathy understanding where you can just tell how the other is feeling from one look 🥹 of course, seb’s a gentlemen so he always works hard to give you everything you could possibly want in a relationship. even despite his busy schedule, he always makes sure to take you out on lots of cute, thoughtful dates, and even sends you little notes throughout the day just to remind you how much he loves you 🥹 honestly he’s so cute i adore him

— and a final bonus headcannon !! i feel like seb himself can be a bit of a nerd when it comes to certain things (we’ve all seen him in grill the grid, the guy just absorbs knowledge) even though he may not be a marvel fan originally, when he finds out you are, he works sooo hard to get caught up with all the movies and the comic lore so he can talk to you about it 🥹 then of course come the marvel movie nights (instigated by him) where you literally stay up for hours bingeing as many of them as possible (seb definitely gets so invested and cries at infinity war and endgame 😭) he just wants to spend as much time with you doing things you love as possible !! 🥹🤍

[writinandcrying]

Can I get a matchup for one of the rottmnt turtles, please? I’m 5’5, long dirty blonde hair with a buzz cut, and glasses. I’m very anxious, and tend to feel like I’m always doing something wrong, so I apologize quite a bit..even if I didn’t do anything. I’m very shy, sensitive, and quiet around strangers. I’m a straight A student, but I kind of tend to base my self worth on my grades. I never feel like I’m good enough. I try to be nice to everyone I meet, but I can definitely be socially awkward. My pronouns are she/they. Main interests are science, mainly biology and astronomy, animals, literature, games, and music.

Of course! You didn’t specify which version, and my mind has been consumed with rottmnt lately, so I hope you don’t mind getting a rottmnt match up :)

I match you with…

Mikey!

I love this gif so much nfnfjdkdososos

Do you know the meme “my partner SAID they wanted PICKLES ON THEIR SANDWICH” as someone standing up for their loved one? Basically that’s mikey towards you, there’s even a scene from rottmnt he says “if someone hurts something he loves he will hurt back” (or smth like that, I actually love that scene cuz it truly shows off his chaotic side bdbfjdksks dr. Delicate touch scenes also have my heart)

Basically, no one hurts his boo, he will “correct” you when you over apologize as well, he knows it’s a trauma response so he will be incredibly thought and sweet about it: “it’s alright! don’t worry about it!” Or “why are you apologizing? *peck* I’m doing this because I like you :)” all those statements are usually followed by affectionate gestures, hugs, caressing your hands, cuddles, pecks, kisses; he’s very affectionate and isn’t afraid to show it, being with actions or words

He will think you are a bit uptight regarding grades at first glance, but mikey will understand how important that is with you if you ever break down in front of him bc of it, the youngest turtle will remind your worth goes way beyond your grades, you are so special and deserves to see the light you shine through (which he will remind you and try to show it to you often through his art work) during study sections, he will help you with anything you want, preparing study snacks, steering up a makeshift comfy and quiet place (besides the lab) just for you, and will actually study with you, surprisingly- he has vast knowledge in History, Geography, English and obviously arts, and if he doesn’t understands something more specific on the scientific/mathematics field, he will pester Donnie (use his youngest sibiling supper power) to persuade him into helping you with any subject you are struggling with it

Him and Leo loves astrology (way too much, specially zoadiac stuff) so they might ask you a lot about it, you will def lose Leo interest when you explain astrology and astronomy are two different things lol, but mikey still finds it fascinating! Will often ask about new NASA reports, and matches your energy if you get super excited about a new discovery that has been released by space institutes

Loves to play games with you, create new playlists based on you, your relationship, the mood for each date, he likes it doing it with you, so you both can set up mood playlists? He just loves doing it and doing specific artwork for each one of them, oh! And he loves that you are into animals, usually him and Raph stop to pet any kitten on the street, Raph doesn’t want to stay as much as he wants tho, his brothers have to drag him out of sight of street animals so he can focus on the mission, so you being into animals makes him extremely happy! He can take his sweet sweet time to pet any baby he sees on the street (and eventually adopt all of them, that’s his mater plan)

Lastly, I usually don’t comment much on someone’s appearance, I just ask for it so I can visualize the ship / matchup happening, but in this case: he absolutely LOVES your hair, he wants to do every single hairstyle, braiding technique he has ever seen online and he always manage to make your hair look amazing, he also loves the texture of your buzz cut? Sometimes he just hugs you from behind and nuzzles ur buzzed side with his cheek, he cannot deal with how soft it is and he gets really calm doing that (I know it’s canon that Donnie has autism but if Mikey isn’t neurodivergent then idk I’m a mermaid)

This one was fun to do! Hope you liked it! Match ups are closed for now

[certified-anakinfucker]

📖 RN NOW PLS

you have no idea how far back i had to go in my OLD ask tag to find this fucking link. i love you kebbie i really do and i hope this genuinely proves it - so send me a book for a daydreamed story of mine! trust me i have many!

this ask has deadass been in my box for two years now um. holy fuck. its gonna be super long bc this is actually my excuse to force myself to figure out how this fucking story actually goes. youre my sacrificial lamb, babe <3

under the cut for toxic/abusive relationship themes | mostly stemming from not putting an end to toxic cycles and briefly refusing to believe it was an issue

so i had this old ass wip, right. it was called parisian lovers despite no one in the entire story being french whatsoever and it was basically a love story for a sexual relationship with danger turning into a genuine view into what happens when you dont. like check yourself before running headlong into what you think you want

ive since started readapting it to (surprise) swtor and an excuse to explore sith pureblood (henceforth referred to as "tsis") cultures surrounding whats considered normal in their dating/relationships, and also how it challenges familial relationships

the details of it are super fuzzy mostly bc all the meat of it was lost to twitter dms that i refuse to open. so heres a quick fast easy rundown

basically, youve got tsiksos. he is the third born and third son of an extremely powerful and wealthy union of bloodlines, and since hes really not the most important one, he decides he wants to study a niche theory of dark arts. something about how channeling power needed to cast sorcery can be amplified through vocals and choreography. basically he went to a contemporary dance school for the shadow wizard money gang

tsiksos meets ûtainoz, who is practically a beast in this school. he sees the valedictorian spot and hes steamrolling anyone he needs to. hes ruthless, hes heartless, hes a smooth-talker, he will do anything to get his way, and tsiksos found that hot and sexy and definitely worth falling in love with

predictably, this goes terribly. tsiksos doesnt know what the hell he walked into, only that he may as well enjoy it because hes sleeping with the hottest, most talented guy at this school. ûtainoz got a little too comfortable, though, and by the end of their tenure there lost his valedictorian spot to tsiksos,,, who was also gunning for it right under his nose

but whatever, its fine, they go their separate ways with the taste of one anothers venom permanently burned in each others mouths. they both fill their own niches. ûtainoz goes into more of a performative, traveling role and relies on his aesthetic rather than his power - whereas tsiksos followed through with his intent and deepened his connection to the dark arts through what he learned. he became something of a siren, honestly

anyway anyway anyway. tsiksos moves off of his homeworld. he decides he wants to actively burn fires through everywhere ûtainoz has been. and hes extremely successful. he wants to win, he needs to win, he will win. he meets utajhaiw while in the new city, and while poor utajhaiw falls in love - tsiksos sees someone he can keep close with him if he just uses all the right words.

which works! theyre together, its great, theyre fucking almost daily. but they argue every hour. to the point where it gets violent more often than not with tsiksos on the offensive. the arguments are largely fabricated or instigated out of boredom. but isnt it worth it for the sloppy nasty disgusting hateful makeup sex?

yeah well. the neighbors of their apartment dont think so. theyve nearly called the cops every time, until neighbor laishtzi comes over to investigate what just hit the wall. he gets pulled, literally, into the middle of their fuck. his partner rîshja follows and, likewise, gets pulled into the middle of their fuck. its like some sort of apology thing for them too and it becomes regular.

enter: their friend nunjor, a lawyer (i think. something like that) who also ! gets pulled into the sex life. whats worse is that both tsiksos and utajhaiw both fell in love with nunjor and wanted to have him as a permanent third.

sometime after this, the whole hatefucking thing gets a little too hateful. tsiksos actually genuinely nearly kills utajhaiw, and hes starting to hide the knives in earnest. nunjor suggests that they attend actual couples' things instead of just their joint performances where utajhaiw plays and tsiksos conjures something.

they try it. they enjoy it. their relationship actually improves. they make a vase together in a ceramics class.

by the way, utajhaiw has asthma. tsiksos has been stressing him out so bad hes started smoking. on purpose. yes it is what you think it is and tsiksos thinks its hot because he wants to shotgun the smoke from his mouth

anyway, something happens and tsiksos starts backsliding. they have another argument and he breaks their ceramic vase. all that dust from the glaze and the clay triggers a pretty bad asthma attack, bad enough that the neighbors come over (it had been so long without an incident) and call the paramedics to come get him. utajhaiw actually snaps at tsiksos in the middle of literally coughing himself to death, and this is uh. a little traumatizing. because its never been this bad before.

utajhaiw makes it to the hospital fine, refuses to see tsiksos, and nunjor is on utajhaiw's side - that was fucking uncalled for, dude. tsiksos goes back to their apartment, alone for the first time since they bought it together. naturally he should not be alone at this time

laishtzi phones a friend, kaqur (psychiatrist-adjacent) and his partner jashru (probably a psychologist, if not professional "wtf is wrong with you, stop that"). they agree to take tsiksos in while utajhaiw is back home with his family.

its about a year i think? that tsiksos stays with them, basically on s-watch, and it turns out he has a really severe derealization + depersonalization whammy going on, spurned from still dressing the way ûtainoz liked him to dress and the way other people wanted to see his body. he punched through a mirror. so once he started dressing in looser, more comfortable clothing - surprise! he felt better!!!

(meanwhile, utajhaiw spent a year at home strengthening his lungs again, writing songs and poetry, and reconsidering his entire life. spoiler alert: he actually was in love with tsiksos)

but things are never easy. at some point, tsiksos has a bit of a meltdown and breaks out of his little prison, steals the spare key to his apartment, and ends up burrowing in the bed wearing utajhaiws clothes and sleeping on his side of the bed because he feels so fucking bad about what he did to him. but uhhhhhhh.

apparently nunjor also decided to pay a visit that night. and tsiksos, in some nightmare-sleep-haze, reacts to nunjor trying to wake him as if he were ûtainoz - meaning he tried to apologize through offering his body. rubbing his hands on his thighs, face in his crotch (since nunjor was standing at the side of the bed). when nunjor gently corrected him and woke him (not that he would have been upset at the idea of fucking him again, buth he didnt seem to be in the right headspace) it actually uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sent tsiksos into a worse panic. scrambling out of the bed. tripping on something. breaking a glass.

oh, hello ptsd - it sure is nice crab-scrambling backwards on your hands and bare feet over glass while hyperventilating and sobbing so hard you genuinely cant see. again, laishti and rîshja to the rescue getting him back to kaqur and jashru.

so heres where the fun happens. ûtainoz comes back. hes genuinely changed for the better, he is apologetic. he wants to make it up to the person he hurt the worst. does tsiksos take him up on that? yes. should he have? yes, actually, because he needed the closure.

they start rekindling what little flame they had together. days turn into weeks, months, and theyre getting along just fine. apparently nunjor had left, and tsiksos had no comm - by the time tsiksos noticed, it was uh. almost a little too late.

theres a time where tsiksos and ûtainoz are in a speeder together and ohhhh nunjor is a poet, its in his full name, but he also composes. he sings. and he sings about how badly someone has just lifted him higher than ever before dropping him down into nothing. tsiksos has a breakdown on the lawn of some random recreational park.

things will get better again, though! somewhere along the way, tsiksos and ûtainoz make peace with who they are and who they were. nunjor comes back and he and tsiksos talk it out. they forgive each other. and then tsiksos and utajhaiw reunite. they explain a lot. they forgive each other.

tsiksos/utajhaiw/nunjor throuple endgame is the only thing that matters to me actually.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i love you so much

[birdylion]

AU asks: Hörk SM AU & Pferdehof AU bc I will literally never stop thinking about them!

For this ask game.

These are both Tatort Saarbrücken fanfiction WIPs.

Pferdehof AU

This story is set in the summer before the all-defining shovel incident. Leo has to take care of his sister's horse while she's sick, and of course takes Adam with him. Leo discovers that he might be attracted to guys, Adam has the horse girl adventure we all used to dream about, in which he befriends the most notoriously difficult horse in the stable and learns some self worth.

written in collaboration with @shakespearerants

Here's some background headcanons for the story that didn't make it into the story so far, but are in the back of my head when I write it:

For this story, Leo comes from a rather bourgeois home: a family of academics, mother teaches at the uni, children are supposed to get a good education and go to uni as well.

Both parents work a lot and aren't available most of the time. There's a grandfather who takes care of Leo and Caro.

I imagine that adult Leo won't have a close relationship with his parents; his grandfather probably dies some time between this and the first episode.

I remember from the Spatort Audiopsie that the school they used for filming the flashback schoolyard scene in DfL was the Ludwigsgymnasium and I used that as a headcanon for this story's version of Leo and Adam. The Ludwigsgymnasium focuses on classical languages (Latin, ancient Greek). I headcanon that Leo goes there because his parents are academics in the humanities and approve of this profile. He doesn't live in this part of town and has to take the bus to get there.

Meanwhile, Adam does go there because he lives close, even though his father would rather send him to the Rotenbühl Gymnasium (which has a focus on sport), but that's too far away / not practical, so … well, Roland has to make up for this lack in education by "helping" with Adam's "training".

Adam absolutely speaks dialect. His parents speak it, he learned it, and he had to take care to learn high standard German in school. Leo's family doesn't speak dialect at home, even though both his parents speak it. But being academics, they went away for their studies and for work, so they trained themselves out of it and that stuck. Even now that they've been back in Saarland for at least almost two decades, they both speak standard high German at home and that's what the kids learned as a first language. They both learned speaking dialect in kindergarten and primary school though. In Gymnasium, both Adam and Leo speak standard high German, so they speak it with each other too even though they both know how to speak the dialect.

Caro's foster horse / shared horse (Reitbeteiligung) is in a stable in the region Bliesgau, so their grandfather always drives her there after school. Now that she's sick and he takes care of her, he can't drive Leo to the stable, which is why he and Adam have to take the bike. This is the landscape in which their summer adventure takes place:

SM AU

inspired by @shakespearerants and @evolutionsbedingt

This started out as a spanking kink PWP. It is still "PWP" … if we change the definition to "porn with plot" and define plot as "character development". Basically, after the events of Die Kälte der Erde, Leo and Adam have very much under-negociated but mutually wanted kinky sex in which Leo spanks Adam.

Headcanons and background for this story (and its related stories, as this is growing into a series in which they pine after each other and learn to communicate):

Leo is very repressed and doesn't dwell on his desires. He wears an armor of "should" and "must" and acts how he's supposed to be, and fails to recognise that this is not all he wants to be and do.

As an older teenager and young twenty-something, he used to be fascinated with BDSM and regularly attended meetings of the German BDSM youth association (SMJG). He correctly identified that there was something in it that spoke to him, and even took part in a workshop or two.

I hc him as hetero-leaning bisexual, but when Adam disappeared, he shoved down any feelings and desires he might have had for him (consciously or not, I haven't decided for this story). That in combination with period-typical (early 2000s) casual homophobia means that he mostly ignored his attraction to men in his teens and early 20s.

That also means his experiences in the BDSM community were through a very hetero lense. He was interested, fascinated even, and he didn't dislike it - just, he never found his place in the community, never found a kink he could claim was his. He liked trying things out, so he's not exactly inexperienced, but also when he had kinky sex, it wasn't due to his own desires, but out of an desire to make his partners happy. His own happiness never factored into it, and so there wasn't anything he could say he desired. He acted very much as a service top, and eventually stopped going there because apparently (so he thought) he just wasn't that much into it. Well.

For this story, Adam was unhappy in Berlin. He had superficial acquaintances and was never alone, but he was still lonely and didn't have truly close connections. There was nothing holding him there, and the more he noticed that, the more he idealised the connection he used to have with Leo in their youth. So when the opportunity arose, he didn't hesitate to move, because there was nothing that was hard to leave behind.

I do imagine that he used to have a pretty active sex life in Berlin. Meanwhile his first few months in Saarbrücken are the longest dry spell since he started having sex. He already knows that he likes it rough, but I hc that it always stayed rather vanilla in practice.

I didn't set out to do it, but the way I'm writing him, this story features an aro-spec Adam.

When he was in Berlin and hadn't set foot into Saarbrücken in 1.5 decades, it was easy to think that everything was well now, that his past didn't still haunt him. He genuinely thought that he had dealt with it. Perhaps even that he would be glad to be back - because Saarbrücken has Leo. But coming back there just brought everything up again that he had buried but not dealt with.

Apparently unpopular headcanon, but my interpretation of the films and especially my headcanon for this story is that when Adam came back to Saarbrücken, he and Leo were not instantly 100% in sync. The beginnings of it are there, but there's no stability in it. Adam's sudden reappearance throws Leo off track, and Adam doesn't deal well with being back in Saarbrücken, trauma-wise. So they have to find each other again.

In the early days, I imagine the following between them: familiarity, insecurity, erotic tension, uncertainty, cautiousness, curiosity. They're pretty good at instantaneous nonverbal communication, but never talk about the big questions, so the tension rises until it all comes crashing down in the PWP after KdE.

[allhailbrokeloose]

so youve watched another bl and you need the world to learn about it

so yeah i watched ifylita and i need to talk about it so.. hello again tumblr? youve changed.. not for the best as always.. the cut is for SPOILERS. so the series is..

okay ig? its watchable which is already an achievement for a bl. but boy is it unnecessary long, it feels like they forcefully tried to make it longer, the perfect episode length would be 30-40 min, definitely Not an hour+.

the plot is interesting, the actors are ok, even tho i had to get used to the one assigned bottom and his acting choices, but he grown on me towards the end of the series lol (and research has shown he has killer abs btw). assigned top is imo super attractive, so zero questions to lead actors, they both are smart cookies and sunk the ship even before it had the chance to sail, everyone else in the industry should just watch and learn.

ive read somewhere (it was tw*tter ofc where else duh) that its hotter than kp. i mean.. as much as im ready to jump kp every given chance, the comparison here is improper. clearly they wasnt trying to make anything even remotely like kp, i actually think they tried to make an anti-kp, which i think is good as people shouldn't be given those nasty plots bc apparently they can't be normal about it. in short no, its not hotter than kp and imo its more in the cute/warm/comfortable department than anything else.

other things i liked about it:

head of the family whose 1) daughter is a lesbian who is going to a*ort his fav evil son-in-law's child and runaway with a super cute female servant to have a career in politics 2) son is gay and going to France without asking him 3) wife Suddenly remembered she's a human being and can talk with her mouth. everything is in 1928 mind. you cant help but feel some sympathy for the devil lol

two beautiful wives of a scum character ganging up on him we cheered

bad guys getting their karma, yes please we lack it irl

a character who you'd expect to try and ruin main cp's happiness actually helping them

characters' relationships in different timelines

plumeria. btw thanks for letting me know its poisonous, i always wanted to munch on it

the last episode i cried like a bitch which came as a surprise to me bc i felt almost nothing towards the main characters throughout the series, idk could be bc i was drunk watching it lol

things that could have been improved: episode length111, ost, opening credits design ofc or it wouldn't be a bl, the way assigned top character was more than willing to abandon the Love of His Life bc yk 🌟Studying🌟

my verdict: totally worth watching, But only if you are patient enough to stand artificially extended screen time bc sometimes its unbearable, i was gonna drop it about three times and its only 12 episodes, but im glad that i didnt, it has something.. lingering.. yk

[scented-morker]

Mine

Sypnosis. By the time you’re old enough to move away from your parents, you have one large unresolved question that sticks out above the rest. “Why do we bother with love if it never lasts?”. That is, until you meet Jay, the cute student at your uni who also happens to be your server every time you go to your favorite cafe.

Pairing. Uni!barista! Jay x uni reader,neuroscience and therapeutic science majors (not specified which is which), appearances by roommates Joy and Sunghoon

Warnings. Reader has a 👎 homelife, mentions of parents fighting and basically not being in love, maybe suggestive? (Mentions of joy having company), a (1) curse word, a rushed argument, sunghoon makes a joke about running you and jay over with his car 😁

Wc. 4095

A/n. SWIFTING SERIES UPDATE!! This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I just loved the beginning so much I was scared to finish it and ruin it 😭 hopefully I didn’t bc I’m actually in love with this fic (also I think I’m hilarious in it so compliment me pls 😗)

Taglist. @chuubear @naebyols @enhypenova @ifyourereadingthisitstookate @snowflake-jkhoon @en-ternity (these are the ones I could find, if you asked and aren’t here lmk bc you might have changed users since it’s been an eternity)

It's easy to remember the day you left for university. Paying more for a dorm room was worth it to get away from the constant arguing of your parents.

A very good choice you decided, when they started fighting right before you left. It was about something dumb like the groceries, and you didn't even get a proper goodbye from either of them, eventually just yelling "okay bye" and going. Neither of them even looked in your direction.

So to say you might have a negative outlook on love, would be pretty accurate, possibly even an understatement.

You remember meeting your roommate for the first time, a girl named Joy. She was all about love, and you found yourself watching way more romcoms than you'd like to during your weekly movie night.

Yours and Joy's relationship just worked. She liked going to parties, bringing boys (sometimes girls) home, and you liked studying , actually showing up to your classes, and sleep.

That was how you found yourself walking into Chamber 5 cafe for the first time, you'd gone out to grab an energy drink to continue studying and when you came back Joy had come home and she was definitely not alone.

You let out a groan, sneaking in just long enough to grab your computer and textbook before making a run for it. The main room of the girls dorm proved to be an awful place to actually study, if your essay wasn't on who's toxic relationship was struggling this week, you weren't going to get anything done.

And that's how you found yourself wandering off of campus, computer and textbook tucked under your arm, searching on your phone for the nearest place to study. Chamber 5 cafe came up, only three minutes away, and the pictures on Google showcased muted pastels and tables with outlets. Perfect studying atmosphere.

This belief proved true, when you walked in there were about five other students there for what appeared to be the same reason as you were, their eyes scanning over laptops or papers while they lethargically sipped on coffees.

A content smile appeared on your face despite the events that had lead you to the place, and a two person table in the back corner called out your name as you entered further into the shop, ready to get some work done.

Feeling something off, your eyes glance up from the textbook page in front of you, and you almost jump out of your seat at the appearance of a boy in front of you. He appeared to be around your age, and his blonde hair fell into his eyes when he laughed at your reaction.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to scare you"

"It's okay, I wasn't paying attention" you reassured.

He looks down at the short notepad in his hand, eyes finding your textbook instead.

"Woah are you in Mr.Kim's intro to the brain class?"

You look up in surprise at how he recognized the course from one page of the textbook.

"Uh, yeah, have you taken it?"

"Yeah, last semester, it was great"

You look at him in mock disgust, "when does the great start? Because if I have to look at this brain one more time I might cry."

He laughs at your frustration, reassuring you that it would get better once you get past the first few weeks.

"Now, can I get you something to drink?"

You look up at the menu, realizing you hadn't even thought about it.

"Oh, um, do you have any recommendations?"

"Hmmm," he takes the seat across from you, "well let's see, are you a sweet or a bitter person?"

"I mean, I consider myself pretty bitter, but if we're talking about coffee.."

His laughter fills the room and you feel a proud smile on your face, something about being the cause of the sound filled you with excitement.

"Alright so one sweeter than you coffee, I will be back"

You smile as he heads back towards the counter, and you try to refocus on your textbook, but after rereading the same paragraph for the third time you realize that it's not working out.

You huff as you shut the textbook, reminding yourself that the cerebral cortex will still be there tonight. Instead you send a quick update to your roommate, asking her for a confirmation text when it's safe to enter the dorm again.

Shortly after the boy is back, this time with a coffee in his hand. You find yourself smiling as he holds it out to you, and you quickly read the tag on his shirt while you take it from him .

"Thank you, Jay"

"You're welcome, uh, you aren't wearing a name tag"

You let out a laugh at his statement, jokingly ripping a piece of notebook paper and writing your name on it, holding it up to your shirt while he laughs.

"Sorry, I forgot to put it on this morning"

He lets his laughter die out before speaking again.

"How forgetful of you, y/n"

You laugh again and he sits in the same spot as before, keeping an eye on you as you take a sip of the drink he made you.

"Oooo!! This is really good!"

He smiles, glad you like it, before looking down to see your textbook shut.

"Hey I thought we were studying?"

You scrunch up your face and push the book off to the side as far as possible without it falling off of the table.

"Honestly I did too, but my brain decided it didn't want to. So instead I want to talk to you"

His heart jumps a little in his chest, appreciative of your interest in him, and it's small, but his heart is already making room for you as you question him about himself.

Jay's glad the cafe was slow that day, as it meant he was able to talk to you as much as he wanted without being a bad worker. You made sure to pause the conversation whenever a new customer came in or someone needed a refill, thankfully, the cafe was full of college students who really didn't care if the cute barista was talking to someone as long as they got their caffeine fix.

When you reached a lull in the conversation, you looked around the room, empty tables staring back at you.

"Hey Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"When does the cafe close?"

He looks down at his watch, "8:30 pm", and then double takes when his brain registers 9:34 flashing on his wrist.

"Oh shit"

You laugh as he rushes to clock out, and you pack up your things before making your way to the counter.

"You don't have to wait for me, I have to empty and clean out all of these machines"

"Well can I help?"

Normally he would say no, no one but employees was allowed behind the counter, but it was late and he wanted to get it done as soon as possible. Plus, spending extra time with you was a nicer alternative than watching you walk out of the cafe.

"Sure, here just fill these with water and this cleaning liquid and then turn the machine on, I'm gonna work on those"

"Yes sir" you give a mock salute and he laughs as you get to work.

Between the two of you it only took about 20 minutes to get everything cleaned and ready for the next day, but Jay insisted on walking you back to your dorm since it was late.

You check your texts for a message from Joy, and sigh in relief when you see the "you're good to come back" text, quickly explaining it to Jay while he laughs at your misfortune.

"Yeah I get that, I live in an apartment off of campus and my roommate Sunghoon is the same way"

You smile as you approach the dorm building, glad someone else had to deal with it as well.

"Well thank you for walking me"

"Of course"

You say your goodbyes, but neither of you move to leave yet. You make quick eye contact, giggling awkwardly as you finally enter the building.

Joy interrogates you when you get home, and you tell her about your new friend while she questions the legitimacy of his friend status.

"Come on girl you literally described him as attractive"

"Yes because it's a fact. Someone can be attractive without me being attracted to them"

She stared at you in confusion for a moment before rolling her eyes.

"Whatever he's hot, and that was flirting. You should let me text him for you, get you a date or something"

Your eyes widen and you realize.

"Don't tell me you didn't get his number"

You give a shoulder shrug and she lets out a groan, mumbling one more "you're useless" before she heads off to bed.

You cringe at yourself when you realize how dumb you were, but decide you can just go back to the cafe another day and get it.

However that day ends up being much farther off than you thought once your professors started drowning you in work. You barely left your room, let alone the campus.

Jay was slowly losing the extra excitement that came with each shift, his constant thought of you coming back so he could finally ask for your number like he had stupidly forgotten to do the first time.

Thankfully for the both of you, your professor had lightened up on the work as the big test came up, coincidentally the same one you had been studying for when you met Jay (a thought that definitely didn't keep distracting you because your stupid brain kept thinking back to the blond haired boy instead of the material).

You trudged off of campus, your brain feeling like goo after finally handing in your test on different parts of the brain and their functions. One thing was certain, and it's that your frontal lobe was not performing it's thinking function correctly.

In fact, no part of your brain was thinking as you wandered through the busy university streets, yet somehow you ended up at a familiar cafe.

The scent of coffee was welcomed into your clouded head, and you went straight to the counter to get your caffeine fix, only stopping when you came face to face with the certain blond that had been running laps in your head for the last week.

"Y/n!"

"Jay! Oh my gosh hey"

"You look like you could use a coffee"

"That obvious?" He laughed, but you were joking around, and quickly ordered the drink you had been thinking of since your testing sheet was placed in front of you.

You waited for your drink at the counter, quickly flashing him a smile when he handed it to you, and took a seat at the table closest to where he was working while he made an Americano for another customer.

He came over to your seat after the other student had their drink safely in their hand.

The caffeine was starting to work its magic in your system, and Jay noticed the way your eyes seemed more attentive when he sat down next to you.

"So what's up with the walking zombie-ness?"

"Mr.Kim's brain test was today, and let me just say, my frontal lobe is severely slacking off"

He laughed again, and you continued talking until you got a call from Joy, something about needing you to come home immediately.

"I'm so sorry Jay, I have to go, that was my roommate"

"Oh yeah of course, let me just check you out"

You were glad he quickly turned around to swipe your card through the register so that he couldn't see the wide eyed face you made in misunderstanding.

He handed you his copy of the receipt so that you could sign, but was quickly whisked away as another customer rang the service bell and Jay had to go get their order.

When he finally handed them their frappuccino, there was no sign of you in the cafe and he let out a sigh as he made his way back to the table to collect your receipt. Stupid, stupid Jay, he had gotten so excited talking to you that he had once again neglected to ask for your number.

'I seemed to have forgotten last time, text me whenever :D ~ y/n'

He stared down at the writing on the receipt, a large smile making an appearance on his face. Quickly typing the numbers from under your note into his phone, he debated whether or not to text you.

He eventually settled for a 'hey, this is Jay! Nice move with the receipt thing. Hope your roommate is okay :)'

He tried to muffle his excited giggle when you texted back almost immediately.

'She's completely fine, I'm not sure how her burning boxed Mac and cheese is an emergency, but here we are. And thank you, I though I was quite slick'

You texted for the rest of the night, and continued for the next day, which turned into a week, which turned into a month, which turned into two, and so on.

Joy continued to tease you about the boy's status in your life as your relationship continued, his contact name 'my favorite boy' not helping your defense much.

You knew you were lying to her about your feelings, but honestly you didn't feel bad because you were also lying to yourself about them.

"I'm going out with Jay tonight, if you bring someone home just text me"

"Ooooo you know, I wasn't planning on going out tonight, but if it means you spend the night with," she puts finger quotes up with her next words, "your favorite boy, I just might."

You rolled your eyes, quickly slinging your bag over your shoulder and leaving as she sent you a wink.

When you exited the dorm building, Jay was already waiting for you, leaning against his car and pretending not to notice all the other girls staring at him.

A pang of jealousy shot through you, and you made sure to greet Jay with a smile and a quick hug, clearly letting everyone around know he was there for you. He pretended not to notice, but a smirk was visible on his face as it rested on your shoulder.

He opened the door for you to get in, and wouldn't tell you where you were going until you pulled into a parking lot, a large body of water taking up the majority of the landscape in front of you.

Jay opened the door for you once again, leading you to a spot near the water where a picnic had been set up. There were small flowers in a vase in the center, and fake candles lined the perimeter of the blanket.

Something in your brain perked up at the setup, a little too romantic for the friend hangouts you've been enjoying the last few months.

"This is beautiful"

You missed the way his eyes sparkled as he watched you take it all in, a sight that would definitely be confirming your suspicions.

You pretended not to notice the way Jay seemed to fidget in his spot as you ate, or the way he kept playing with the rings on his fingers while he talked.

You found yourself closer to the water once you were done eating, and the blanket provided much welcomed warmth as you sat together watching the water.

Jay's arms stretched out as he yawned, and only once one of them settled on your shoulders did you realize what he was doing.

His eyes stayed glued to your face for a reaction, not missing the way you tensed up when you realized what had happened.

"How do you feel about love?"

You looked at him, confused with the sudden question.

Upon seeing your face he quickly explained.

"It's just, you've never talked about boys to me, you never want to watch romance movies, and the only time I've heard you talk about relationships is when you're complaining about other people's"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just not interested in it. Movies are unrealistic, and most of the relationships in uni are toxic anyway. After everything I've seen and been around, I just don't think it's worth it"

"Do you think it's real?"

You contemplated the question, did you think love was real?

"I think the world would be a very sad place if love wasn't real. However, I'm not sure romantic love really lasts"

"What about your parents? They're in love"

Jay had met your parents one day when you needed to go back home for a cousins birthday party. You had specifically brought him because you knew your parents would be on their best behavior if there was a guest.

"If that's love than I don't want it"

His eyebrows furrowed, and a frown was prominent on his face while he listened to your extremely pessimistic view of love.

"What do you mean?"

"My parents have been fighting since practically the day I was born. My dad disappeared for a while but as soon as he came back they were at it again. I truly don't think my parents are in love. Maybe they were, but now they're just married because they don't want to get a divorce. I don't think that's love"

You were facing each other now, and you weren't sure why you were spilling out your childhood trauma and messed up life details to Jay. You had never told anyone before, and yet you didn't even think twice about it before you started talking.

For the first time you wanted someone to know. You wanted them to know why you were the way you were. You wanted them to understand you, so that maybe they wouldn't leave.

"Oh y/n, I'm so sorry"

You didn't want pity, you always hated the feeling of someone pitying you, but this felt different. He wasn't pitying your life, he was genuinely sorry that you hadn't been shown the way love was supposed to be.

"It's fine, just how life works out"

"But it's not! Love is real, and I know you aren't a fan of it, but if you give me the chance, I will show you," you hadn't rejected his advance, but it was clear you were in no position to reciprocate his feelings. "Just give me the chance to show you what love is supposed to be like"

Maybe it was the warmth in your body from his arm around your shoulders, or maybe it was the way the stars seemed to reflect off the water and into his eyes, but you found yourself leaning closer to the boy.

"Okay"

That night you spent way too long together contemplating other random  ideas about life, and it turned out Jay's brain was a little messed up too. Although you decided by the end of the night that maybe everyone's brain was. Maybe there's nobody who isn't a little messed up.

You almost fell asleep on Jay's shoulder halfway through a conversation about multiple lives, and you might have fallen if it weren't for his arm that was still around your shoulder.

He carried you back out to his car even though you assured you could walk and were just a little tired. He didn't believe you though, and that night he gave up his bed so that you could sleep comfortably after Joy had carried out her master plan that left you with him overnight.

You remember the way he left a glass of water next to the bed and reassured you to just wake him up if you needed anything.

Maybe love isn't so bad

The next few months were better than anything you'd experienced before. Jay helped you study, brought you takeout after bad days, and you spent even more nights together out on drives, just talking. He had made the joke multiple times that maybe you two should have majored in philosophy instead of being neuroscience and therapeutic science students.

Within three months there's a drawer in Jay's dresser dedicated to your clothes, and you leaving the apartment in the early morning had become a common sight for his roommate. You no longer denied Joy's teasing, and you found yourself believing that maybe love could be real and lasting, because as much as you hated to admit it, you didn't want Jay to ever leave you or stop being with you.

"So, I've been looking at apartments near the school," Jay cautiously brought up to you one day after lunch together at your favorite spot.

"Oh? Are you and Sunghoon thinking about moving?"

You were laying on the couch together and you felt him shift uncomfortably behind you.

"No, I was thinking more of you and me moving in together."

You sit up quickly when the words leave his mouth, head snapping to look at him in shock.

"Before you start making excuses, Sunghoon already found a new roomate! Some guy named Jake in one of his classes is looking for a place, and you and I both know Joy has plenty of options."

His hands are reaching for you, and it isn't until he reaches them that you realize you've stood up, putting distance between the two of you.

"Jay they aren't excuses, you have to think of things before you make decisions this big!"

"Okay well I thought of them, they're solved it doesn't matter what I call them."

"And you didn't consider, I don't know asking me about it?"

"We'll we already practically live together, I thought you would be fine with it."

"You can't just make decisions like this without talking to me about them!! Thinking I'd be fine with it is not the same as making sure I'm fine with it."

By now the two of you were yelling, and without even realizing it your body was backing towards the door and away from Jay. It was your first real argument, and something in it was triggering that old fight or flight response from your childhood.

"Are you not fine with it?" His words were bitter and you felt like all of the love he'd shown you over the last few months were gone.

You'd finally done it. You'd pushed him too far. Your stupid fear of commitment had finally brought the end you knew was coming.

And at that moment, flight won.

By the time you finish moving you're in the parking lot in front of Jay's apartment and the sobs are wracking through your body while you repeat the last few minutes in your mind.

The yelling, the hurt look in his eyes, the last words he'd said to you.

You hear footsteps and you can tell it's him. You want to laugh, how you can even recognize his footfalls against pavement.

He sits down next to you and his aura still gives away his anger.

"Yn"

You brace yourself for his next words, already knowing what they're going to be.

'I can't do this, you weren’t worth this much work.’

What you actually hear sounds foreign to your ears.

"I'm sorry."

He stares at the way you turn to him in shock, and he finds himself wondering if anyone had ever apologized to you.

"You don't want to leave me?"

"No! What? Of course not!"

He's confused and you're confused, and you're both still angry, but somehow you find yourself in his arms.

His hands attach to your head, pulling it into his chest and both of you take deep breaths.

"I'm sorry too. And,” he looks down when you pause, a deep breath inflating your body, “I love you."

Jay doesn’t think he’s ever moved faster than he did at that moment, readjusting so that he could stare into your eyes, and he wasn’t sure if it was the tears or if your eyes just seemed brighter than they used to.

"Did you just say what I think you did?"

He'd never heard you say those words to anyone, and he knew about your doubt.

"I thought you thought love didn't exist."

You blush now, a little embarrassed at your bold statement in the heat of the moment, and you avoid his eyes as you try to explain yourself.

“I don’t know it’s just, I feel like you’ve proven to me that it does. And I mean maybe I’m right and it won’t last, but I hope not because I don’t ever want to be without you. I think I was just scared to admit it because things had always been so good it seemed too good to be true. But I’ve never had anyone apologize to me after a fight, and I’ve never had anyone-” you contemplate your next word carefully and his heart breaks a little when you finally find the right one. “Stay.”

There’s tears running down both of your faces, and you find yourself attempting to kiss all the tears away from skin while he smiles like lovesick puppy.

"What are you two idiots doing?"

You’re broken from your moment by Sunghoon in his car, his path to the parking lot blocked by your hugging bodies.

"Actually I don't even want to know. You’re lucky I actually stopped instead of just running you over like I thought about before I realized it was you guys.”

You're all laughing when Jay sticks his middle finger up at his roommate, but he scoops you up off the pavement anyways, carrying you bridal style back to the apartment while Sunghoon continues his complaining, yelling something along the lines of “should’ve just kept going.”

[septembersghost]

Why do you like the character of Jimmy Mcgill so much, what makes him such a good interesting protagonist to follow? Do you love Walter White as much as Jimmy ?

By the way, I love your blog, your analyses! Long live Kim Wexler and Mcwexler! ❤

if anything suggests i have any love whatsoever for walter white, i have been doing my job here entirely incorrectly adljkgfkjhgh

walt is a great character - monstrously compelling, brilliantly acted (bryan was lauded for a reason!), and while i definitely have discussed his evolution (or devolution, as it were) and the fact that at times i still find tattered remnants of sympathy for him and tragic fallibility from him, i'd also push him off a cliff without hesitation. i posted a tweet a while back that said something like, "breaking bad is full of characters i love to watch, better call saul is full of characters i love," and that (with the exclusion of jesse) sums it up fairly succinctly for me, and is why - as a character person first and foremost - i'm far more emotionally attached to bcs. i think breaking bad is ultimately narratively stronger (i didn't expect to say this), but better call saul made me love and care about its players so deeply that it's the best at character study. (obviously these are completely subjective opinions, and in many ways the shows are quite different and difficult to compare because their strengths and highlights play for varying reasons!)

jimmy, on the other hand...there are things that maybe should've turned me on jimmy (scamming, lying), but they just. didn't. part of me wonders if it's my affinity and empathy for kim coming through since kim loves him, and because of how i feel regarding their story and aching romance together, but even beyond that, in jimmy's better qualities, in his relationship with his brother, in the way he does try, but is so doomed in his story before it even begins...his character and shifting identity and place in his narrative universe is gripping and sympathetic to me. such a huge part of it is bob's performance - someone else probably would've played him sleazier or more arrogant, but bob managed to take him from the garish comic relief in brba to a man struggling inwardly with his sense of self, with his worth, with his darker impulses vs. his innate affability, someone who has such heart and pathos that it's devastating and horrible watching him erode. the fact that he's capable not only of humor but also of kindness and vulnerability, and yet opposite that weaponizes his likability and his intelligence and his trauma to harmful effect, the way the narrative convinced us to root for him and want better for him even though we knew where he was headed, it works in such a powerful way. a very human way. i feel like we got to know jimmy in a much more intimate sense - there's a wall between us and walt from the beginning, often a violent one, but jimmy in his crummy little nail salon office feels accessible. jimmy pining for love and acceptance feels more tangible than power hunger. jimmy lashing out and curling into himself hurts, jimmy making decisions to reclaim his name and find some piece of himself (or peace in himself) and a delicate reconnection with the woman he loves, his one person in the world, infused with such loss and melancholy, is bittersweet and haunting.

walt is always on a collision course with death, but it's as though jimmy is always on a collision course with life, with choosing how, even after harm and self-loathing and tragedy, one continues to seek to live. there's an irrepressible spirit in jimmy somehow. in kim too. a flickering flame in darkness. it isn't much, but it's something eternal in spite of the odds.

i'm not explaining this well, but idk! i just feel such an enormous amount of love and sorrow for him. and he's my pathetic bestie

thank you so much, lovely, i am very happy you're here. 💗 kim wexler for life!!! mcwexler in love forever and ever!!!!!!

[yesimwriting]

Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

--

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

--

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

--

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[hiddennerdworld]

MHA Couples Dynamics with art by @leecheedoodles| Too Cool for Skool x Keener (Reader x Iida)

Masterlist

Warnings: none, all fluff stuff

A/N: eeeee I’m so excited about this. I saw this art and immediately was inspired. I would really like to do a series based on these. This is all thanks to leechee doodles here on Tumblr. They are v talented so check them out! I’ve seen others use their art, but if they don’t want me to I can always take it down. Enjoy :)

You and Iida definitely got off on the wrong foot

You guys didn’t hate each other per say, but you annoyed each other for sure

Iida just wanted his fellow classmates to be successful and tried to encourage you as class rep. And you just wanted to only take part in the aspects of hero work that you actually enjoy

In your own ways, you both stressed each other out

Iida would give you lectures any time you ditched class, saying you needed to be responsible in order to be the best hero you can be

You just stood and rolled your eyes the entire time with your arms crossed over your chest

Eventually, one day Iida just said fuck it (he didn’t actually phrase it that way bc he doesn’t use the bad words) and picked you up and carried you to class.

The whole time with you kicking and screaming, which doesn’t affect him bc he’s a fucking tree

This became routine. Iida was with you almost 24/7, keeping you in line. This caused even more tension between you guys

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Well you wouldn’t if you stopped acting like a baby and attended to your duties!” *snickers* “You’re gonna tell me you’re not a baby when you can’t even not laugh at the word ‘duty’?!!!”

The bickering wouldn’t stop and it was driving EVERYONE crazy

So as Aizawa solves all problems, he paired up the duo with pent up frustration for their final exam

You guys were rolling your eyes when you saw you had to work together but weren’t surprised tbh

It seemed like you guys weren’t gonna make it, but at the last second you were able to distract Cementoss and give Iida an in to dash up and capture him

You guys cheered and high fived when you realized you’d passed, the negative feelings towards each other forgotten

Afterward you guys had a talk.

“Good job out there today, Iida. I’m impressed on how you came up with a strategy so quick. I guess studying so much does actually help, huh.”

“Thank you, L/N! I appreciate the kind words, especially coming from someone who has such good control over their quirk like yourself!”

The whole time both of you were staring at the ground, blushing to hard to look at the other person while complimenting them. Iida still did the hand waving tho lmao

Afterwards, Iida still kept an eye on you always bc he thinks you have a lot of potential and wants you to do well

And you don’t find him as annoying anymore, so don’t really try to avoid him

This ends up with you guys basically just hanging out rather than him chaperoning you.

Training, studying, making food, you guys are together a lot

You and Iida occupied a table in the dining area for your studies for the millionth night in a row. The other students know better than to disturb you at this point. Yes, you guys are friends now, but you still bicker like an old married couple.

“I could really go for some ice cream right now,” you said while leaning back in your chair.

“L/N! You know that stuff isn’t good for you! Why do you wish to consume such sugary content?! Why don’t you eat an apple instead?!”

“I don’t think that’s how cravings work. Besides we have training tomorrow and always so I will still be keeping myself in shape. It’s one treat.”

“L/N, we are studying to become the best heroes! We need to be responsi-“

“But that’s just it! We are always going to be working to be the best we can be. You need to be able to enjoy yourself. Life isn’t all about work, you know?” You said standing up and grabbing his arm, “We’re going out. Come on!”

“Absolutely not! It is after curfew! It would be dangerous and-“ Iida lectured on and on until you guys were basically in front of the ice cream place. He tried to get you to stay back, but you were surprisingly strong when you were determined. (Also, he probably wasn’t resisting as much as he could’ve).

You guys went in and ordered. You got cookie dough with some chocolate syrup on top, and Iida got a scoop of vanilla on a cone, only because you insisted he get something. After you got the ice cream you went to a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“Mmmmmm this is so good. Totally worth it.” You say as you take your first bite, eyes closed while enjoying the delicious dessert.

“I’m not sure if it was worth breaking the rules, but as long you are enjoying yourself I guess it’s alright.”

“That’s because you got the most boring flavor. Here try some of mine.” You said raising a spoonful up to him.

This caused his face to go red and he stared at you with wide eyes for a few seconds before speaking. “No, L/N! I appreciate the offer but it would be inappropriate. Mine is perfectly fine and-“

As he was rambling, you shoved the spoon in his mouth, making him blush even harder. “L/N! You could’ve choked me.”

“But was it good though?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He said at almost a whisper.

A shit-eating grin grew on your face, “Told ya so. See, Iida look.” You gestured over to the sight in front of you. There were people scattered throughout the park enjoying their night, and you could even see the glowing city in the distance. “We are a part of what makes this all possible. There wouldn’t be people out here living their lives if we didn’t keep them safe. It may not be too often, but we still get to relish in the world we created too. It reminds us why we do what we do.”

Iida couldn’t help but just stare at you for a hot minute. You looked gorgeous under the moonlight while you looked around in awe. You were more wise than he ever gave you credit for. He had always thought you were carefree, but actually you just had cared about things differently than him and he failed to realize.

“You’re right, L/N. We should be able to enjoy this more often.”

“We?”

“Of course. Why would I do something fun without you?” Now you started to get all flustered. Feeling heat rush to your face, you covered it with your hands and looked toward the ground. “Are you alright? Sorry I didn’t mean to say anything that would upset you.”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t upset me. I would love to spend some time with you.”

So you guys did. Well you already spent a lot of time together already but now you guys would go out and do something fun if you had free time

Like instead of training on the weekends, you guys sometimes walked around the park.

And every time you’d go, you guys would also visit the ice cream shop you guys went to that one night and try a new flavor

You also were participating more in class. You’re grades were getting better from the beginning of your guys’ relationship, but now you actually were invested.

After a test, you would show Iida your grade and thank him for all his help, and he would be so proud and excited for you

Of course, your classmates started to catch onto you guys being more and more friendly with each other

Hagakure snuck up on you guys one day while you were studying. “Alright, when did you two start dating? We all thought you hated each other but now we know it was all an act to throw us off, so spill the beans.”

“Oh, no we’re not dating.” You replied

“Well..” Iida started to talk and your eyes darted towards him

“I mean now that someone has said it, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating you, L/N. I really enjoy my time with you and think you’re a great person. Could I take you on an official date?”

“Y-yea I would really like that.”

“Awwww that was so adorable! I can’t believe I just help you guys get together!” She skipped out of the room, on her way to tell everyone her accomplishments

“Sorry, L/N, that probably wasn’t the best timing.”

“Call me Y/N”

“O-oh okay… Y/N. I’m looking forward to going out with you.”

“Me too, Tenya.” You said smiling and grabbing his hand.

Barely anything was said the rest of the time, but you guys couldn’t stop smiling and you didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Safe to say no information was retained from this study session