#bc this guy had (or looks like he had) such a lonely childhood just training

[marchsage]

i had the delightful opportunity to draw green's birthday banner for specord!!! happy birthdayyyy to the guy of all time :3!!!

[clowningaroundmars]

Fuck it

Burners hcs

Chuck my beloved 🩵

-Chuck’s anxiety spikes out of control sometimes and so he’s often up and at ‘em even at like 4am just mechanically coding well into the morning just bc he can’t sleep. Other Burners have TRIED to help him fall asleep and they’ve had varying levels of success but no one really knows how to combat Chuck’s insomnia for sure

-Older Chuck smokes weed like a chimney and you cannot convince me otherwise, that boi self medicates like his life depends on it. His whole room be dank as hell

-Messy af room btw, but there is def a method to his madness. Wires and car parts EVERYWHERE tho and also scraps of cloth that he cuts and sews shittily for his LARPing stuff. He still loves it tho

-I love the hcs floating around that he can be very assertive when he wants to be, and likes to take control every now and then :) I’ll leave it at that for now :)

-Chuck tried making a racing game for the Burners, and he got so far as figuring out how to model everyone’s cars but eventually gave up on that passion project after the race in Blonde Thunder. Even just being behind a virtual wheel was too distressing for him LOL

-He’s canonically a cyborg and spends time looking up, downloading, modifying random codes for his own internal wiring. He “mods” himself sometimes and as anxious as he can be, he’s very confident in his programming skills and trying out sketchy codes on himself

-That being said, he’s kinda insecure about being part-robot. No one but him and maybe Mike knows exactly how much of him is metal, and how much of him is organic. He keeps that info to himself bc of self-doubt. Who knows how the rest of the Burners will treat him if they knew? It’s bad enough that he doesn’t know how to drive!

-Besides programming, Chuck actually does try to take up a bunch of other hobbies like learning to play a guitar, a keyboard, trying to improve his sewing skills so he doesn’t just make messy stitches on LARPing costumes, painting, doodling etc etc but like Mike always says “sometimes being a Burner can get in the way of personal stuff”

-PIERCED CHUCK PROPAGANDA!!! I definitely buy into it!! Chuck may hate getting tattoos but this dude gets pierced up later on, I JUST KNOW IT. He has a cool collection of piercings on his ears (daith, triple helix, industrial, orbital etc etc) as well as tongue piercings and… other piercings 😏

-I truly believe that Chuck ran away to MC first— before Mike— and then they met up again there when Chuck heard about a “cadet who saved an apartment full of ppl”

-He ran away in the 1st place after believing that he “lost” Mike when Mike got promoted from being a jr cadet to a full cadet. They hung out together a lot less after that and Chuck couldn’t ignore the evil he was finding as he was training to be part of R&D… so he dipped, terrified and lonely

-Jacob “adopted” Chuck immediately after taking pity on him. One could only watch a scrawny blonde kid stumble around Motorcity and get picked on for so long lol

-That makes Chuck Thee Original Burner!! Fight me about it

-Chris P. confirmed that Chuck knew about cars even while living up in Deluxe, often bragging about how well he’d drive if he ever got in one. It was Chuck who introduced the concept of cars and driving to Mike in the 1st place when they were younger

-Chuck is JUST AS protective of Mike as Mike is of the Burners, that’s his childhood friend!

Mike 💚

-Has his cadet days drilled into his bones unfortunately, this poor guy always does his bed up military style, wakes up at 6am SHARP every single day and works out first thing in the morning. Still, the routine helps a lot and it’s one of the only habits he appreciates from his past

-Has nightmares not too often but… when they hit, they hit bad. Sometimes he just decides not to sleep at all and just joins Chuck on a couch somewhere

-I truly believe he has ADHD!! I’m integrating that into my belief system fuck it

-Bc of that, he often forgets to take care of himself. And not even in the bad I’m-gonna-do-this-dangerous-thing-that-might-kill-me kinda way (well most of the time) but the oops-I-forgot-to-eat-and-it’s-been-8-hrs-since-my-last-meal kinda way. Chuck definitely helps remind him to eat and take breaks, otherwise Mike’s gonna jump into another hours-long errand run across Motorcity without even eating a peanut

-Mike’s super grateful for Chuck, they’re opposites in the way where they complete each other. Chuck eats CONSTANTLY and likes to nap often, Mike basically paces himself on Chuck’s schedule when he’s feeling all out of wack and can’t take care of himself. Chuck happily bosses Mike around and makes him do some self care when this happens

-Older Mike might have some reservations about drugs n shit (good ol Deluxe conditioning in his skull) but he’s not an asshole to other ppl about it. That being said, this mf smokes cigs like a chimney and loves them. Cigarettes are the only thing he smokes, he doesn’t like being not-sober bc it makes him feel like he’s out of control (and the Terras drugging him in “Mayhem Night” didn’t help with that either lol)

-Where Chuck’s room is messy and chaotic, Mike’s room is scarily perfect. He stress cleans so ofc his room is gonna look pristine! Neatly folded sheets and shoes all in a straight line near the door, clothes all hung up perfectly in his closet just like in his cadet days. Not a wrinkle or a spot to be seen anywhere

-Likes to garden as a stress-reliever as well. Mike’s gotta use his hands and get his body moving or else he’ll Explode. He joins Jacob in his supermarket or just does chores around the garage whenever he can

-Burners know that the neater the hideout looks, the worse Mike’s mental health is tho. It sucks, they’re still figuring out how to help calm him down sometimes

-Funny, but for a guy who’s so sunny and upbeat all the time, Mike fuckin LOVES scary dark music. Grindcore and black metal are his top fave genres, much to Chuck’s chagrin. Chuck doesn’t hate metal, it’s just that listening to terrifying hardcore music while Mike’s doing donuts mid-air in Mutt after going 325mph absolutely doesn’t help calm his nerves

-Mike is… not very good with emotional stuff. He’s also shown in the show to be a lil short-sighted and DUMB as hell when it comes to taking social cues (the employee at the refinery acting weird and CLEARLY reading from a cue card in “The Duke of Detroit Presents…”, Chuck’s personality doing a total 180 IMMEDIATELY after Julie brings in the Kaneco booster… like Mike why in gods name would you miss those obvious signs) and it’s probably bc he was trained to be emotionally stunted as a military boy. He still tries his best tho <3

Dutch 💜

-Chuck and Dutch are the bestest buds aside from Chuck n Mike, don’t @ me. They work on the Burners’ cars all the time, how could they not be! Dutch is always giving Chuck props on wiring and upgrading the cars and Chuck thinks that Dutch’s designs and mechanical skills are godly

-Dutch eventually takes their art off the paper and walls and moves onto tattooing after seeing so many Motorcitizens rocking cool art on their arms. They start just like any other teen tho: shitty stick n pokes

-Eventually, the other Burners want tattoos on themselves too (well not Chuck cuz he’s a weenie LOL) and Dutch is more than happy to provide. Even Mike asks for one, much to everyone’s surprise. Julie gets a couple tiny ones where she can easily hide it from her dad. And everyone gets a Burner tat, absolutely

-Ok yeah I also integrate “Dutch is an enby” into my belief system. Sue me. He doesn’t believe in the concept of gender, just goes by he/they for convenience but I really think he doesn’t give a single fuck about it all otherwise

-They start learning from Tennie after going steady in their relationship, and they bring back all the sweet Cabler’s knowledge into the Burners’ car upgrades

-Claire and Dutch start chatting about fashion one day while Julie runs off and leaves them to hang out. After that, Dutch is much more mindful of his wardrobe and even hits her up sometimes to swap fashion ideas and tips

-They love customizing like, everything ever that they can get their hands on. Dutch’s room is for sure the most tricked-out one in the hideout, complete with custom furniture, decked out wall of lights (that Chuck helped program to feature Dutch’s art on it) and more art on the walls than anywhere else in the garage. It’s Dutch’s own slice of heaven

-Older Dutch also partakes in the smoking of the zaza, so him and Chuck just chill out in their lil weed corner outside (bc Mike and Julie hate the smell so no smoking indoors!) just puffing on blunts and showing off new bowls and bongs that they recently bought

-Dutch goes to Chuck to figure out how to establish a private non-traceable line so he can call his family every now and then without alerting Kane grunts. He updates them about stuff (and privately tells Dar about Tennie lol)

-Dutch picked up ROTH’s body after a battle against the Kane bots, intending on studying the metal polymer stuff Kaneco makes to use on the Burners’ cars. But then ROTH woke up, the battle completely wiping his intended functional coding and shocking the hell out of Dutch. But ROTH didn’t attack, and then slowly but surely everyone got used to having a floating Kanebot cluelessly wandering around the base. Dutch decided to paint the bot so he doesn’t keep surprising everyone LOL

Julie 💛

-She’s a weeb idgaf if everyone else thinks so too, it’s my hc now. She pirates and downloads shitty old anime onto drives with Chuck’s help and brings them up to Deluxe so she can watch them in secrecy

-Julie has a room in Deluxe ofc but she also has one built for her down in Motorcity as well. She thinks that the room that she has freedom to decorate and customize is way more “her”. She’s got anime figurines, posters that Dutch painted for her (featuring her fave anime characters ofc), plushies practically spilling out from the shelves, and she’s so happy that she gets to have a room where she can really be free!

-Julie pops the collar of her vest, inspired by Mike

-Idk what kinda music is allowed in Deluxe (probably nOT MUCH) but anyways Julie discovers pop and techno in Motorcity and literally cannot shut up about it afterwards. The other Burners do not really share her enthusiasm for Kpop but they try to be supportive nonetheless

-Jules is oddly enthusiastic about music in general. How could she not be, after hearing only pleasant elevator music all her life? She obsesses over playlists and makes ALL the playlists for the Burners

-She’s the sentimental one for sure. She hoards more stuff in her room in MC than in Deluxe but either way, wherever she makes a space for herself, it’ll always be filled with photos and doodles and lil gifts she receives from other ppl. Even 9Lives has a couple toy charms dangling from mirrors and compartments lol

-Julie loves makeup and painting nails, something she got from Claire. She tried to hide it away from the Burners to “fit in” and then immediately blew that cover once Dutch broke out the nail polish and started to paint their nails one day. After that, she teams up with them to paint everyone’s nails and does cute designs

-She DID know about Mike before formally meeting him after he defected. Ofc, she’s always been observant even tho Kane always tried to hide her away from the public. After Mike ran away to MC, Julie watched it all go down from her dad’s security cams and followed him down there. She has to pretend she doesn’t even know much about Mike, despite having access to his files

-Mike and Julie are The Shippers and wingmen of the group FOR SURE. I know this is kinda canon but idc, you can’t convince me they don’t get together and gossip about other ppl’s relationships all the time. Mike only knows about other ppl having crushes just bc of how observant Jules is

-Julie’s stolen cop car isn’t from Deluxe, it’s from a junkyard in Motorcity. Cops were disbanded in MC a while ago— courtesy of the gangs lol— so that meant easy pickings for Julie

Texas ❤️

-Born and raised in Motorcity (confirmed by creator), Texas helped run his family’s automotive business fixing up cars from junkyards and selling them/their parts (mostly to the Duke lbr). He was the only Burner who had a car even before the Burners formed

-He was The Ride before Mike and Chuck finally built up Mutt and got her running properly, but his car wasn’t Stronghorn just yet, just a custom car cobbled up from various other car parts that he borrowed from his dad

-I truly do believe Texas has a huge family with like a million siblings and that’s why he’s able to get away for long periods of time and do crazy stuff with the Burners all the time

-Potential angst right there… maybe. Cuz he doesn’t get enough attention at home being one of like… 7 or 8 kids or something 😅

-Chris P. said Texas’ parents are the total opposite of him and are intellectuals. Maybe they’re also from Deluxe (R&D even) and couldn’t see themselves having children safely there after Kane went crazy with power, so they ran away to MC and gave birth to their kids there. For as long as Texas can remember, his dad ran the auto shop and his mother headed the Motorcity development council. His parents are VERY involved in the community but… not very involved with the family

-I LOVE the idea that Texas and his siblings are all named after the states. I feel like Alaska, Iowa, Delaware, Georgia, Arizona, Nevada, Dakota, Nebraska… even Maine are cute names!

-Yknow what… those all sound like girl names lowkey. What if Texas is the ONLY brother in his family which is why he hams up his masculinity so much? Hc accepted. Texas and his 7 sisters, I dig it

-Hear me out. Texas initially taught Dutch the basics of constructing a car, transferring and modifying engines, etc etc but Dutch is a smart cookie and eventually their knowledge surpassed Texas’

-Texas is the movie buff of the group and fucken loves sci-fi, old westerns, martial arts, noir and thriller movies. His room is overflowing with movie memorabilia, posters, and shitty crayon doodles of his movie heroes. Any time he’s got downtime he’s always on his lil VR movie headset goggles rewatching something called “5 Dragons of the West: Journey to the Gold Snake” or something

-Texas, like Julie, doesn’t live in the Burners Hideout since he always just goes home after the end of the day. Only Mike, Dutch, and Chuck live there full-time. Julie has the room she stays in sometimes, Texas crashes on a couch (probably where his workout gear is) if he’s too tired to drive back home

-Mike got his adrenaline junkie habits from riding in Texas’ car before building Mutt

-Older Texas absolutely gets tatted up. AND he starts wearing more muscle shirts to show them off ofc!

-Texas is ridiculously emotionally intelligent, even tho he’s a knucklehead most of the time and I believe it’s bc he’s got a ton of siblings. He’s also one of the middle children too, so he’s capable around lil kids as well

-Texas can’t spell bc he’s dyslexic

-Junior and Texas absolutely have SOME history together. Maybe they even grew up together, as that’s not so far-fetched since ppl might buy cars from Texas’ dad’s shop to enter the competitions in the Mama’s Boys Arena

Jacob 💙

-Obviously The Dad of the group of ragtag kids. Mike and Chuck aren’t the only kids that Jacob’s helped out of the rubble of MC, but they are the only ones who stuck around. Yes, Jacob’s an old crazy coot but he has endless patience and plenty of seaweed casseroles for everyone :)

-Motorcitizens know him as The One Who Helps Orphans, specifically ex-Deluxians since he’s one of the only elders who’s been up in Deluxe and didn’t disappear amongst the Motorcity population yet. In “Off the Rack” there’s a split-second where Jacob’s shown greeting the recent Deluxian defectors at Antonio’s, I feel like he takes responsibility over helping Deluxians integrate into MC

-Bc of that, he’s got some p sweet connects across the city. Jacob’s got doctors and nurses, librarians with info, and resources all on speed dial just for the kiddos

-Jacob was the 1st person to show Mike what a car was irl and showed him how to drive in Sasquatch. It was Mike and Chuck who figured out how to build Mutt in the 1st place tho, and they took lots of inspo from the old car magazines lying around Jacob’s office in the supermarket

-The lil haunted house the Burners built for Halloween for the kids of MC was Jacob’s idea :)

-Doc Hudson and Jacob absolutely hook up after Hudson gets settled in MC, sue me. If you cringe at the idea of two old men bumping uglies, you are weak and will not survive the winter

-MC basically celebrates every holiday with a parade or a giant block party somehow, and the city’s first Pride Parade did not disappoint. Jacob made sure to sign the kids up for a spot in the parade and helped them build the float. It got crashed by Kanebots (of course) but the Burners saved the day (again!)

-Jacob stays away from the Burners’ main living space but still lives close by to check in on them every now and then. But he gives the boys their privacy for the most part

-Jacob DOES have Texas’ parents on speed dial as well. Which he uses to threaten Texas into behaving every now and then, but it’s no use. Everyone knows he never calls anyone’s parents unless it’s an emergency lol

[xtodorcki]

Hiiii!! Could I request Levi with someone he is crushing on who he finds out their love language is time, so he makes an effort to always be by readers side until he confesses 😳❤️

“Time,” Levi x Reader

Summary: where soft Levi has a crush on you, your love language being time- he’s patient and sticks with you till he confesses.

Warnings: none

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You were never the type to get into relationships or even have feelings for anyone. It was a hard thing for you to deal with, a hard thing for you to handle so you ended up not doing any of that altogether.

You grew up to a lot of family problems, your parents always argued but thought staying together would benefit the kids- instead it made you grow up into a lonely person who had commitment issues.

You joined the scout regiment because of how cold you actually are. It was easy to put on the act of acting tough and also playing the part quite easily while out in the field.

But once you became friends with most of the scouts, you began to somewhat soften up but not enough to even consider getting into a relationship.

Deep down though, you wish you had someone to love you and cherish you. That’s why you always held onto time and patience because if someone was willing to wait for you, then that person is worth having your heart in the end.

You caught Levi’s eye since the day you came in. It was rare for him to do so, rare for him to even feel something towards another person that wasn’t frustration or anger- it was pure.

He tried to ignore the feelings but the more he had trained you, helped you, worked with you- it was becoming quite hard to shake you out of his head late at night when he’s in bed trying to sleep.

Sometimes he would catch himself trying to throw hints your way or flirt with you a few times but you were never the type to catch on or entertain it even though you enjoyed Levi’s company.

One day he had overheard a conversation you were having with Historia. The both of you gossiped and you even confessed on why you were so closed off and how you valued patience more than anything.

After that Levi was set on being patient for you. He took baby steps, he slowly eased into it. At first he would talk to you as more of a friend than a Captain then he would sit with you during dinner or lunch.

Slowly easing into it, taking it week by week trying not to scare you away.

He even opened up to you about his childhood at one point, making you understand him more fully. As a few months went by, Levi had decided to take it up one more step.

He asked you on a date. A fancy little dinner he had decided to make, he cooked you both a meal and had made a fancy table in his office- giving the both of you some privacy.

You appreciated it, you appreciated the effort and the time he was putting into you. It made your hard shell soften the more you were around him.

After that it was a weekly thing, him asking you out on dates and him making every one of them more special than the last.

You had to admit you were slowly falling in love with Levi and the fact he was so willing to be patient with you and take his time on getting to know each other better, it was making you fall quite hard.

He never wanted someone so bad that he went out of his way to do all of this. He was convinced he looked stupid or looked like a love sick puppy following you around but he didn’t care, all he cared about was you.

After half a year of him being slow, him taking his time and asking you out on small dates and giving you flowers or small notes, it made you wake up one day and come to the decision of wanting him just as much.

During all those dates, you two never shared a kiss, he was afraid it would rush things and make you feel uncomfortable which made your heart flutter.

But today you had convinced him to let you take him out on a date instead which was new to him. He never had someone take him out to dinner before but he didn’t want to deny your offer.

You made sure to make this more special, considering you were planning on making the first move on him. Your shaky hands stared down at the food you were cooking in your small kitchen in your house- that your family owned and passed down to you.

You were never here much, it was always empty while you stayed at the base most days for weeks at a time but this time it was different.

You had made the food, setting up the table and even baked a cake for dessert, something you rarely did- you never ate a lot of sweets but the more nervous you got, the more you wanted to bake and cook to ease it down.

Once you heard a knock on your door, your hands started to grow sweaty and when you opened up the door, Levi was in a cute plain suit holding another bouquet of flowers.

Your heart raced at the sight of him, seeing his smile made it much harder to control yourself. He had held out the flowers before you grabbed them from his hands, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you. You can sit down at the table, it’s pretty much done.” You let him step in, walking back to the kitchen while Levi got settled at the table.

“Oh wow, you went all out.” He laughed at the sight of the table full of food and you put the flowers down and sat across from him.

“I wanted it to be special.” You shrugged, reaching over for the bottle of wine and poured you both a glass.

“Trying to outdo all of my dates?” He teased, making you meet his gaze and roll your eyes.

“No no, I don’t think I can outdo all the things you did for me.” Your cheeks started to heat up, taking small sips of the wine.

You both had sat there and ate for the rest of the night, talking and laughing. You even sat there and brought up your struggles growing up, how hard it was for you to commit and open up.

But you did for him, you told him everything and he sat there and listened. Levi was sort of stunned that you opened up about everything in one night, it had made him fully confident that you two were both reaching the end of the rope and one step closer to make this official.

Time went on, Levi had stood beside you in the kitchen as you both washed up the dishes and you glanced up at him, your heart pounding in your chest, you were too scared to try and make a move, you were too paranoid that he’ll reject you.

He noticed your silence and your eyes staring into him, turning his head to meet your gaze and it made you freeze then quickly look away.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, grabbing the rag and dried off his hands after you both finished up.

You leaned back against the counter, shrugging your shoulders as your hands grew shaky again. You’ve never been this nervous over a guy before but here you were in your kitchen, completely and utterly nervous because you liked Levi so much.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“The last six months with you.” You mumbled, making him nod his head and he gave you a small smile.

You had decided to suck up all the confident and courage you had left- which wasn’t much but it was enough to have you stand up straight and grab a hold of his face.

It was a now or never type of moment, you wanted this more than anything and you made Levi wait long enough for you.

You had cupped both of his cheeks, leaning forward to press your lips on his and it made him freeze, almost felt like he was dreaming about this.

Levi had rested his hands on your hips, pulling you closer all while his lips danced with yours. It was a short kiss but it was worth waiting for six months.

“I’m tired of making you wait.” You mumbled, looking up at him and the way his heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest was crazy.

He was completely whipped and in love. You had him wrapped around your little finger but he wasn’t complaining one bit.

You were worth waiting for.

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Plssss this made me sad bc I’m lonely ;(

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[zukka-pegged-by-suki]

ok so guys, remember that “my father always says azula was born lucky, i was lucky to be born” line? yeah, now explain to me why tf are we even considering OZAIs words?!?! like some people use this line as an argument against azula when its literally what OZAI SAID?!?!!?!!?!

Zuko’s good and bad luck, as well as Azulas. Was either of them lucky? Let’s see.

Please read all of it before drawing assumptions.

Zuko’s luck:

- has mums care and affection

- has irohs care and affection

- can get away with being a softie as a child, because he may get disregarded and called weak but lets be honest, azula wouldnt have been able to get away with his behavior because she didn’t have firstborn privilege (which is a thing while azulon lived) or mummy’s protection like he did.

before anyone comes at me i’ll expand a bit on the firstborn privilege. as first born he was instantly considered more important by the masses since birth, that might’ve changed later but before neither could bend that much was still a fact. which means azula wouldn’t really have any recognition for anything unless she surpassed him in every way, which is what became her goal especially when ozai became the one who spent more time with her rather than ursa, anyways lets continue.

- constantly receiving second chances; iroh, the gaang minus katara, katara, azula (even if not from the “good” side), ozai (no matter the intentions, this much is true), iroh again, mai, the entire fckng world.

- he had a guide and help throughout his long healing and learning process.

Zuko’s bad luck:

- Unloving father

- Mummy disappears

- Doesn’t train that hard and surprise surprise, is worse than azula. Because if he had really trained hard, he would’ve at least known the formations wether he was able to firebend with them or not, but he was just clearly trying to copycat azula while tripping over because he didn’t have that much experience doing it. This is something no one can change my mind about. How tf did he expect to excel if he didn’t train enough. This wasnt about luck but hard work which he didn’t put in, too busy playing with mum and the little turtleducks. And I do not hate Zuko, I really love him but this is just a fact and he’s too fixed on blaming everyone else for his own mistakes and problems (esp Azula). Like, im sorry to break it out to you honey, but Ozai hates you because he’s an asshole, and that’s his own fault, not Azula’s.

- Scar and exile time, we all know this.

- Ugly haircut because of dishonor

- Finally achieving his goal of regaining his “honor” but realizing it wasn’t what he wanted only when he was already at the Fire Nation palace having all the glory from Aang’s presumed death.

- Katara’s distrust after his betrayal (bc who would’ve expected that to happen /s)

- Getting zapped in an attempt to save Katara.

I mean except for the things related to Ozai, most of this was all consequences from his own actions.

And I’m sorry but I don’t understand the fixation he has with having Ozai’s love. Unlike Azula, he has had his mother’s love and his uncle’s love. He knows what real love looks like and he has never really seen anything that could imply Ozai likes him, while he has Iroh treating him like he’s his actual father.

I’m not invalidating his traumas in any way and terrible things did happen to him, but why is he so obsessed with Ozai and why would he choose him over Iroh, he’s 16 and has been with Iroh since age 13, he was also with Ursa for the majority of his childhood, make it make sense.

Azula’s luck:

- Uh she was born rlly smart i guess

- She had some natural talent and knew to train hard to shape it to perfection, as well as studying a lot about war tactics and shit ig

- Ty Lee and Mai loved her and she loved them back

I mean as far as luck goes, that’s it. Everything else was achieved on her own merit and even if she had no scar, her traumas are just as valid as Zuko’s, neither is worse or better, we do not compare traumas in this house and they were both terrible.

Azula’s bad luck:

- Bad mother (i’ll make a post on why Ursa sucks)

- No second chances

- Mum never said goodbye just like she never said “i love you” lol, except in that one hallucination

- Never has had any real help to heal (i’ll make a post on why the asylum was a trash idea that would’ve never worked)

- Can’t fully trust anyone, not even herself, or will be punished for it

- The only people who loved her, Mai and Ty Lee, “betraying” her (check out my post on that, its under #jinta’s commentary)

- Ozai psychologically abusing her all her life

- Some characters may have been lonely, but she was genuinely absolutely alone. And she knew it.

- Hurt and self-hatred channeled through anger like Zuko did sometimes when he had that shame shave ponytail, but with her, its all the time.

- Even his abuser abandons her

- Everyone hates her but forgives Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. And it’s so annoying because all Mailee did that Azula didn’t was swap sides almost at the end, if the excuse is that they were being manipulated well Ozai was manipulating Azula so what’s the excuse.

- Is always believed to be lying but usually isn’t (check out my azula always lies post)

- Has a mental breakdown and nobody gives a shit?! Like the first think Zuko thought of was “ooh she’s slipping lemme take advantage of that”

- Has nothing and no one, yay

- Gets thrown into a stupid asylum but not rlly because there are no comics in ba sing se

While Zuko had Ursa and Iroh to protect him and stuff, she was victim of Ozai’s manipulation and psychological abuse all her life.

So when we know Ozai said she was lucky, why tf is anyone taking his word for it??!

Plus when Zuko was born they didn’t know how he would be and Azula didn’t exist so there was no way he could’ve been lucky to be born.

Zuko was very unlucky, but he was also lucky.

Azula was just unlucky.

edit: as bellatrixobsessed1 said, azula had the illusion of luck.

[unbridgeabledistances]

hi y’all<3 here’s a new section of the gallavich as seen from alternate POVs fic, this time featuring lip!!!! (i wanted to wait til after the ✨lickey drama✨ in the new ep before posting, but then i decided against it bc i didn’t want to re-write this lol)

i started to have way too many feelings while writing this so it’s a little lengthy and contemplative, but rest assured it features some domestic fluff/ian and mickey being disgustingly in love- i hope u enjoy<3

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Lip shuffled into the kitchen of the Gallagher house, opening the fridge door and reaching past the clanging beer bottles to grab a metal soda can on the way back of the shelf, hearing a faint fizz escape as he popped the tab. It was late, the moonlight streaming in across the kitchen through the worn curtains and pooling on the kitchen floor— after Tami had crashed in their bed at the apartment after a long day at work and Freddie was sleeping soundly in his crib, Lip had come by the Gallagher house, without really knowing why. He just needed to clear his head, to get some distance from Tami and all her relentless nagging about moving and apartment hunting and his colossally obvious fuck-up with the bikes— he just needed some space, some less stifling air to breathe outside of their half-packed apartment crammed with boxes lining the walls.

It was funny; no matter how much energy Lip had poured into he and Tami’s first apartment, into painting the walls and agonizing over their kitchen backsplash like it was his first-born son, whenever Lip thought about home, whenever he felt that pit of uneasiness growing in his stomach and he just needed a place where he could lie back on a couch and loosen the knots in his shoulders and breathe in familiar air that would fill him up, instead of the too-clean smell of Tami’s flowery potpourri that she’d placed on the expensive coffee table in their living room— Lip always found his feet leading him across the slabs of sidewalk and past the chain link fences towards the Gallagher house, no matter the time of night. He had only been in the house for a few minutes before he felt the tight-knit something in his chest begin to unfurl— he didn’t even want to start to think about what was lodged there. This had been a crazy fucking couple of months, and he wasn’t going to start getting sappy about selling the house now, not when they were so close. He’d dug a hole too deep this time, and he needed the money. He couldn’t fuck up again— not with Freddie to take care of. No matter what it cost him.

So that’s how Lip ended up sitting at the Gallagher kitchen table at 2 a.m. on a Thursday night, sipping at an overly-sugary pop that was no substitute for what he really wanted to be drinking right now—he could imagine how it would warm the insides of his stomach, how it would cushion whatever weird fucking ache was in his chest right now. But— no. Fuck no. He wasn’t going to do that now. Everything about selling the house, about moving on, was about getting his shit straight— about leaving the bad parts of this sagging roof and these stained floorboards behind him.

Lip slouched in the wooden kitchen chair, scrolling on his phone and finally letting out a breath he didn’t really know he had been holding in all day, when he heard a creaking of footsteps padding at the top of the stairs— too heavy to be Liam or Debbie, too careful and unfumbling to be Frank dragging himself through the house. Lip flickered a glance up from where he was sitting and met Ian’s eyes as he turned the corner of the stairs, his skin looking translucent and overly pale in the moonlight like the ginger motherfucker he was.

Ian nodded his head towards Lip in acknowledgement, like he wasn’t surprised in the slightest that his older brother with a whole ass family and apartment of his own was decidedly squatting in the kitchen of his childhood home, drinking a pathetic-looking can of Dr. Pepper. Ian slid open the fridge door, grabbing a beer and swiftly popping the cap off by knocking the bottle on the side of the counter—and then in an instant it became one of those quiet, familiar nights when it was just Lip and Ian in the kitchen, sometimes letting easy conversations flow between them, but other times, just like this— just sinking into each other’s presence in the silence. Ian’s shadow mingling with the moonlight on the kitchen floor immediately snapped the atmosphere from lonely and self-pitying and stale to something lighter, something familiar—like the worn, buttery leather of a baseball glove that fits just right.

Instantly Lip was brought back to so many nights before this, of he and Ian orbiting each other in the kitchen at night— when they were kids and would creep down the stairs and eat fistfuls of junk food that Fiona had forbidden, or steal warm sips of the open beers Frank had left on the counter. This was where they’d processed Monica’s return, late at night while they passed a cigarette between them and Ian hadn’t tried to hide the tears that were freely rolling down his freckled cheeks, back when they were both just confused kids who clung to each other— this was where they’d processed Frank’s alcoholic meltdowns, too many to count, and all the love and loss and confusion that had passed between these walls, all the collateral damage of living in this fucking neighborhood. And Lip felt a sudden pang in his gut, sharp and present, when he realized that it might be one of the last nights that he and Ian got to spend in the kitchen like this.

Lip immediately shoved the thought down with all his might, a hydraulic press squeezing out any sentimentality. He had to do this— for Freddie, for Tami. He had to man up and move on, even if it meant physically wounding the crumbling walls to ease the pain of the parallel jagged wounds somewhere deep in his chest, or screaming and shouting until veins popped in his neck, so loud that he knew he was radiating his pain outwards like a fucking atomic bomb.

But tonight, Lip had no more fight left to give. He just wanted to let these four walls hold him one last time, without even realizing that was what he had needed until this moment. Ian slid a chair out from the kitchen table and sat beside him, leaning back and dragging out a slow, sleepy breath.

Lip cleared his throat, softly. “Where’s Mick?”

“Passed out upstairs.” Ian scrubbed a hand over his face. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Lip raised his eyebrow, almost involuntarily, and Ian immediately jutted his chin up in a half-nod, an affirmation, as he leaned back even farther and took the first sip of his beer. No, he wasn’t manic and yes, he was fine. After all the years that had passed since Ian was still figuring this shit out, Lip sometimes forgot that checking in on him wasn’t really his job, not anymore.

Lip took another sip from his soda can, a movement to fill the easy silence. “How was your guys’ night?”

Ian shrugged non-committally, his shoulders still slumped back in the chair, his lips puckered around the mouth of the bottle as he stared off into the distance at the peeling kitchen wallpaper. “Eh. It was fine. I dragged Mickey out to try and make more gay friends. Ended up being a mistake.”

Lip held back a laugh, taking a sip from his own drink to mask his smirk. He had ample auditory evidence that Mickey was plenty as gay as Ian, but it was still hard to imagine Mickey leaning into all of this shit— Ian used to wear golden underwear and frequent gay clubs and go to social justice brunches, but none of that really seemed like it was Mickey’s scene.

“Oh yeah? Mickey not the easiest person to befriend?” Lip said it with his eyebrows raised, like the joke was obvious.

Ian looked up at him, like he’d been snapped out of a sleepy train of thought, staring earnestly like Lip’s jab had flown right over his head. “Actually, it was kind of my fault. I was the one who made us leave this dinner party thing we got invited to. They were all talking shit about the Southside, about how they hated their families, and I couldn’t really… connect with them, I guess.”

Lip pondered that, taking a breath and stretching his arms above his head. God, he was sore— he hadn’t even been fucking working, aside from hauling those bikes from place to place to avoid the cops, but all the pent up stress and tension was starting to linger in his bones.

“Yeah, it was the same for me. In college, or whatever. Joaquin was the only person I really talked to, because he got all the shit I was always going through.”

Ian nodded contemplatively—but he was staring off into space again, almost like he was half asleep. Lip took another sip of his soda. He could bring up the house shit again right now—it was all that they’d been talking about for the past few weeks—but for some reason it felt too raw, too intense to bring up right now, like it would cut through this peaceful moment, this island in the vast sea of uncertainty Lip knew he was bringing down on all of their heads. So in this moment, he opted for smoother waters.

“Why’d you guys go looking for new friends, anyways?”

Ian finally broke out of whatever drowsy, pensive trance he’d been in, his lips sloping into a smile. “Mickey kept giving me shit for always doing what you do, after breakfast today. I figured… I don’t know, I just got all pissy and tried to prove him wrong.”

Lip felt the corner of his mouth tick upward at that. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

Ian grinned, and held out his beer bottle, stretching his arm across the table. Lip tapped it with his soda can with a light “Cheers,” then took the final sip. He crushed the can to a disk on the table, pressing it down firmly with the heel of his palm and watching the sides compress. Ian’s eyes were cast downward at the table, watching his movements.

“How’s stuff with you and Tami going, all the packing and shit?”

Lip turned the flattened can on its side, contemplatively spinning it like a top on the table and fidgeting with it between his fingers.

“Honestly? I’m fucking exhausted.”

He could hear the breathiness as he said it, how deflated his own voice sounded. And Lip knew could make himself say more— he knew if anyone would get it, Ian would.

“It’s just… fuck, man.”

He looked up and Ian was staring directly at him now, his expression unguarded— listening. Listening like he always did in these moments. Lip let out a low chuckle, trying to shield his own vulnerability.

“How’d we get so fucking old? How is this… it, y’know? Finally leaving the fucking nest, or whatever.”

Ian smiled, placing his beer on the table. “I think you already left the nest when you had a baby and moved into an apartment with your girlfriend.”

Lip shrugged, fiddling with the crushed can again between his fingertips. “Yeah. Guess you’re right.”

“And you are the one making us do this, for the record.”

If Ian’s tone wasn’t as playful or as tentative as it was, Lip would have worried that he was upset— but judging by Ian’s still-comfortable slouch and his steady expression, Lip knew he was fine— he was weathering the storm, just like Lip was.

Ian leaned forward.

“Hey. Mickey was giving me shit—but it is true. You’re my best friend, even though you can be a fucking asshole sometimes.” Ian’s lips curved into a crooked smile. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Ian’s eyes flickered around the kitchen as he spoke, and Lip heard everything that was unsaid. Even though you’re kicking us out of the house. Even though you’re changing everything. Even though there isn’t a focal point to our lives anymore.

You’re my best friend.

And Lip felt that pang in his gut again, sharp like a dagger.

**

He’d said it before, and he’d had no problem saying it over and over again in Mickey’s absence, up until the months before the wedding— Ian did always go a little bit “loco” when Mickey was around.

Which, fuck him, I guess, for caring about his little brother with an undiagnosed mental illness who was off living in the Milkovich House of Horrors slash meth lab with Mickey fucking Milkovich, the bully with greasy hair who Lip wrote papers for in high school and who now was a literal, actual, godforsaken pimp. Lip had seen a teenage Ian bruised and drunk and curled into himself crying over Mickey too many times to ever think that this shit was a good idea— and years later, when Ian almost threw away everything, almost threw away stability and sanity and his fucking family to follow Mickey Milkovich across the Mexican border, Lip knew he had to say something, even though it was an unspoken rule that he and Ian didn’t really critique each other’s love lives since the Mandy-and-Karen fiascos of years past.

So he’d said it, that day in the kitchen, after Ian had returned on a Greyhound bus and they were still processing the dull pain of Monica’s loss— and Ian had taken the feedback with a closed-lip smile, like his head was somewhere else, as he picked at the corner of the beer bottle label with his thumb.

And then less than a year later Mickey was released anyways, and ended up standing in a tank top and boxers in the middle of the Gallagher living room, when the house was crawling with strangers and Freddie was barely two weeks old— and Lip had taken in a sharp breath, a bundle of hesitant nerves sprouting for whatever the fuck this situation was going to become; but not one that he could really give attention to, with all the other bullshit that was pulling at his focus, like the desperate screeching of his newborn kid and the mascara running down Tami’s face.

Later that night, when he’d had a spare moment to breathe and Tami was finally calmed down and sleeping in their cramped bedroom, he’d run into Ian in the moonlit hallway as he was stumbling his way out of the bathroom, drowsily rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking up. And Lip had stopped him with a whisper, placing a hand to tap Ian’s shoulder as Ian blinked the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey. So uh… I see Mickey’s out.”

He’d seen the defenses immediately raise in Ian’s eyes, like he knew what Lip was going to say next.

“Yeah.” Ian had said it soft, quietly, like he was afraid of someone waking.

You sure that’s a good idea? Lip could feel the words itching on the tip of his tongue, and he was aching to say them again, all these years later— and yes, maybe his head was so wrapped up in his own shit that he didn’t really have the authority to be doling out relationship advice to his little brother right now, but so much of this reminded him of things that had happened in the past, of Mickey Milkovich crashing on Ian’s bedroom floor until he inevitably couldn’t anymore, until the pressure cooker of his presence mingled with Ian’s inevitably exploded— or at least that was how Lip saw it. There were too many wounds, and they were bound to leave scars— Lip was honestly surprised as fuck that the Gallagher house was Mickey’s first stop out of prison, after everything that had gone down between the two of them.

But, for Ian’s sake, Lip tried to reign it in—despite the fact that they’d just been commiserating about “being in love with crazy people” as they crouched on the living room stairs the night before as Ian sipped on a beer, sputtering out a “fuck no” when Lip asked if he was going to marry Mickey (which was an equally as batshit question as if Lip was going to marry Tami). Despite all of this— now that Mickey was back, Lip could see that this was something Ian wanted, that this was something Ian was treading carefully into, one more time. He was definitely stronger now; even Lip could see that.

“He gonna be hanging around here a while?”

Ian had given a gentle, sleepy smile. “Yeah. Think so.”

And Lip had just reached out, and clapped Ian’s sleep-warmed body on the shoulder. “Sounds good, man.”

Ian had walked the remaining length of the hallway, opening the bedroom door— and in the shadows, Lip could see that Mickey was curled on the old, concave mattress of Ian’s single bed that he’d slept on since they were kids— and Ian had lifted the thin blanket and pressed up next to him, the mattress sinking beneath their collective weight, settling in and pressing a kiss to the top of a snoring Mickey’s head without a second thought. Huh.

That was the beginning of Lip starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, this time with Mickey would be different— and it was. As Mickey started to become a daily fixture in the Gallagher house, constantly pinned to Ian’s side, Lip had noticed how something solid had shifted—they weren’t reckless kids anymore, for starters. He hadn’t really seen Mick and Ian physically together since Ian was catapulting off the deep end, in the weeks after Ian had gotten dragged away by the P.I.s and Mickey had gotten locked up for some crazy fucking stunt trying to murder Sammy. Things were too intense then, too technicolor—for some reason, Lip thought Mickey being back meant that they’d return to being that way.

But now here was this guy, placing a gentle hand on Ian’s chest and saying “Woah, wait a minute” to protect Ian from the batshit P.O. that had just barged through the door—and Lip couldn’t help but realize that was something that he would have done to protect Ian, in a universe where Mickey was still behind bars.

After then, Lip just kept seeing it— the ways that Mickey showed up for Ian. Not even in the ways that he used to, like forcing Ian to take his meds back when everything was uncertain and Ian was slipping through their fingers like sand in a sieve; but in a more solid, adult way, in a way that made Ian buzz whenever he was around him, in a way that made Ian happier and lighter. And maybe it was just the sex—part of it had to be the fucking sex, considering how loud they always were— but Lip realized, after a couple of weeks of Mickey’s presence in the house before their whole eventual engagement fiasco, that Mickey was Ian’s friend, in addition to all the other things he was. After all the years of uncertainty, they’d finally grown the fuck up— Mickey was someone who brought out the best in Ian, and it was like Ian had been waiting for this moment, for Mickey by his side, before he could fully and totally bloom.

And it was weird how emotional that made Lip— after seeing Ian as a hollow shell in a jumpsuit pushing garbage cans around a college campus, or pretending to be someone he wasn’t who wore patterned button-up shirts and threw around fucking useless five-dollar words that Lip didn’t understand like “gender identity” and “intersectionality”— Ian had finally made it, beyond being the bruised, scrawny kid getting sexually abused by a creepy 30 year old man in the back room of a mini-mart, or getting high off his ass every night and starving himself to fit into a golden thong, or wearing a baggy janitor suit with dark circles under his eyes and pallid skin. Ian had done that shit on his own, and made himself into something in Mickey’s absence, sure— but so much of him being the full, happy person he was in this moment was because of Mickey, and Lip could see that now.

Ian was himself— he wasn’t a shadow anymore.

And that was why Lip had said he thought he should marry Mickey, in the end— because there was no doubt in his mind that Mickey Milkovich wasn’t going anywhere, not anytime soon.

Lip could still see it now, in the way that Ian was lounging comfortably in the living room, like he had his whole life— but now Mickey was resting just as comfortably beside him. It was a few weeks after that night in the kitchen, and Lip had just pitched the FOR SALE sign in the Gallagher front yard— now everyone was huddled in the living room, for what they now knew was one of their last lingering nights in this space. Liam was sitting next to Lip, pressed into his side, seeking the comfort that Lip knew he needed through all of these massive fucking changes— Franny was playing on the floor and Debbie was sitting beside her, and across the room Ian and Mickey were pressed side-by-side on the fraying loveseat, scrolling through the lease document for their new apartment on the battered laptop. They were murmuring things to each other that Lip couldn’t really make out— but Mickey was pressed against Ian, slouching into him slightly, and Ian’s eyes were light. In his flicker of a glance towards them, Lip noticed that Mickey was playing with Ian’s hand, swiping a finger over his wedding ring, as Ian scrolled through the paperwork and started to read all the contract information out loud— and Lip smiled to himself as he tried to tune out all the sappy bullshit that was going on in that corner of the room.

Ian was going to be just fine.

**

Hour later Lip strode out the door to the front porch, a cigarette he’d bummed off of Ian wrapped in his fist— he didn’t smoke anymore, especially not under the same roof as Tami, but there was something about the gravity of this night, of the flimsy red and white sign rooted in the front yard, that made Lip’s fingertips itch for a cigarette and made his brain buzz with the want of nicotine to dull the sharp edges of everything he was feeling—for smoke to float in front of his face while he sat on the front steps just one more time.  

He perched on the front steps as the sun was just starting to set, the fish-scale shadows of the chain link fence encroaching further and further into the yard as he flicked at his lighter.

He heard a light cough from somewhere in front of him— and saw that Mickey was outside too, blowing smoke out of his mouth and leaning against the fence in the front yard facing the house. Lip nodded at him in acknowledgement, then took the first drag. Fuck, he’d needed this.

“You gonna miss this place?”

 Mickey said it into the open air, like he isn’t really talking to Lip— his eyes were off in the distance, staring at the paint-chipped front façade of the house. Which was fucking bullshit—why would Mickey be staring absentmindedly, almost fucking wistfully, at the Gallagher house?

It’s not like he and Mickey didn’t talk— they definitely did, pragmatically flinging banter across the kitchen to each other at breakfast when coordinating rides for Liam or grocery list items when Debbie was off at work, existing in the same space every morning— and Mickey helped him haul literal tons of iron when he’d helped him steal the bikes, had haggled over his cut. But never like this—never with any weight, never in a way that was this casual, or this familial, about fucking feelings.

Part of that was probably because it was hard as fuck to worm your way into the Gallagher family—as wide open as their door always seemed to be, with people filtering in and out and crashing on hallway floors or the lumpy couch, this house only continued to function because of its nucleus— because of Lip and Ian and Carl and Debbie and Fiona and Liam and yes, even Frank. Everyone else was a passerby, an impermanent blip crossing through the way station; Jimmy-Steve, Sean, Carl’s slew of girls, Mandy and Karen.

Monica.

None of them were Gallaghers— none of them considered this place to be home, or got all the privileges that came with that. The Gallaghers, the real Gallaghers, had seen every one of these people come and go— and something slippery suddenly crept into Lip’s realization that despite all the odds, despite all of his doubts about him—Mickey had chosen to stay close to these four walls just as much as Lip had.

“Mickey’s family.” Ian had said it over a mouthful of bacon at breakfast a few weeks ago, and Lip had immediately shot him down; but maybe there was some truth to what Ian had said, some truth to the oddly unfailing consistency to Mickey’s ten years. Which meant that maybe…

Maybe it was time to make a fucking peace offering, or whatever.

Lip hummed in acknowledgement to Mickey’s question, pulling himself out of his train of thought.

“Hey. Mick.”

Mickey looked up at where Lip was leaning on the porch, his brows furrowing like he was bracing himself for a confrontation. “Yeah?”

“My head’s been too far up my ass the past couple of months to say it, but, uh. I’m glad you’re family, y’know?”

He’d been passively thinking it for months— but he’d never said it to Mickey, never this directly. He hoped Mickey got it, without brushing it off or shooting him down with some snarky fucking comment like he always did. Lip meant it— he was glad, he was grateful, he was ready to let Mickey Milkovich keep being a part of his fucked up familial life. And he hoped that Mickey saw that.

Mickey just rolled his eyes, taking another drag of his cigarette—but he didn’t say anything in reply, not for a moment. And then:

“You’re as sappy as your fucking brother, Phillip.”

[warwaged-archive]

to me, it seems the du couteau’s marriage was a political match because although that is never blatantly stated, the family is clearly divided in two parts: kat and the general/cass and soreana

their respective bios suggest from a young age each of them learned from one of their parents, and there’s little or nothing about their relationship with the other parent from then on

while her sister Katarina flourished under their father’s tutelage, it was their mother Soreana in whose footsteps Cassiopeia would follow.

While [Katarina’s] younger sister Cassiopeia took after their politically brilliant mother, Katarina was very much her father’s daughter, and the wily General Du Couteau pushed her to learn the way of the blade;

there is an entire paragraph on katarina’s bio dedicated to how she spent her entire childhood being trained or training herself to be the best assassin (and throughout the text, it is suggested this is because she wanted her father’s approval)

So it was that Katarina’s childhood—if it can be called such—had little room for kindness or rest. She spent every waking moment honing herself into the ultimate weapon, testing her endurance, her dexterity, her tolerance for pain. She stole poisons from the city’s least reputable apothecaries, testing their efficacy in tiny increments upon herself, gradually building her resistance even as she catalogued their effects. She scaled the tallest towers in the dead of night, unseen by anyone.

it is noted her childhood can barely be called that, and that it had little room for kindness or rest, which makes me consider she would probably have been trained from the moment she could hold a blade, and even as children, cassiopeia and katarina never really had the chance to play or even befriend each other, because kat wouldn’t have spent much time with her sister really. she would have been with the general mostly, with the exception of when he went out bc war and/or missions and such, but even then, she would have tried to continue training by herself because she wanted to make him proud. 

I assume she did not spend much time with soreana either because of that, and the fact the du couteau’s marriage seems to be political seems to be reinforced in how its established the sisters were different, each taking to one of the parents, and how they spent time learning from that parent and not the other, or together all of them as a family. 

[this is more just a bunch of random questionings that I have than discussing my take on the lore surrounding kat, really, but: was it always something soreana meant to do, to have two kids so one the general could have to make his heir and the other she would teach and make an asset to the black rose? did she ever try to bond with her eldest daughter at all? would have she tried to sway both of them to her side, had katarina not taken so fast to her father’s teachings? I think it’s clear she and cass had a genuine bond in spite of everything, and I really wonder how she felt about kat.]

I don’t think she would like, not care for her mother and sister, but katarina was always distant from them. she was kept mostly isolated, being shaped into a weapon, and sharpening her edges herself even further. I think she cared for them, in a way, but she never really loved them because she never knew them enough to love them.

her father, on the other hand, was the only person she trusted in blindly and completely, and she would have done anything to make him proud before their eventual falling out. although he clearly cared enough to train her himself and try to make her the best of the best, it doesn’t seem he’d have shown pride or care or anything related to approval really:

[General Du Couteau] was a harsh teacher with many pupils, and notoriously difficult to impress.

and because he teaches her to be the best for noxus, in her head she tries to be the best to serve noxus, but in reality, even if she doesn’t realize it, her actions are pretty much shaped by a desire to make her father proud, not to serve the empire.

although what is said about her eagerness to finally get her first mission is this:

She yearned to do her part for Noxus. She yearned for the opportunity to demonstrate her hidden strengths in service of the empire, and the throne.

she is pissed off when her father tells her to kill someone that seems unimportant, both due to rank and nobility. she is angry because she feels slighted, not only because her training was for nothing, but because it seems after everything her father doesn’t believe she’s capable of more while she knows she is. she’s more hurt because it feels like even though her entire life was dedicated to being the best it still isn’t enough to actually gain his approval.

so she doesn’t follow what he says and kills a higher ranking guy instead, and what she thinks then is very telling that this is all less because of noxus and more because of herself and her desire to have her father’s approval.

It was a flawless execution. It would bring a swift victory, and glory to Noxus. It would make her father proud.

there are other factors, sure, glory for noxus and all that, but even if katarina can’t see it, her main motivator here isn’t noxus. and when she meets her father again, and he is furious and deeply displeased, she is not only distraught, but she feels alone -- which makes a lot of sense considering the only deep bond she had was with her father, and her actions cost her that.

He was furious beyond words, refusing even to look his daughter in the eye. She had shamed him, and their family name. The greatest assassins do not seek recognition or glory, he reminded her. They do not expect to occupy a place of honor at their master’s right hand.

Overwhelmed, Katarina struck out into the wilderness, alone.

her immediate thought after that is to try to correct her mistake, which is the only thing she could do to maybe be forgiven. it’s still an attempt to do something to please him more than it is doing something for her country. and this only changes when he sends talon to kill her, because from then on there’s really nothing that would bring her to the general’s side again.

but his betrayal only hurts her so deeply because she loved him. it is only so unforgivable because she spent years trying to be the best to please him, and although her mistake was dire and she would acknowledge and make up for that, it was one mistake, and it was all it took for him to send someone to kill her. 

soreana may have steered cass a certain way, but they did develop a bond with her falling ill and cass taking care of her and how she went on to trust her youngest daughter with her secrets and knowledge of the black rose. when it comes to the general and katarina, it seems much more one sided, in that she was dedicated to learn from him and make him proud, but he never offered her the same amount of trust she placed in him. so between a parent that was never around, a sister that she barely got to know and another parent who made her try to earn his approval her entire life, katarina was always pretty isolated (and lonely). she never really had a sense of family as like, more than a bloodline. she doesn’t know what those bonds are like. 

in part, it is what makes her fiercely independent. she never had anyone, so she learned to think she’s better off alone. (I don’t think that’s how she genuinely feels, but that’s a subject for another time)

[warwaged-moved]

to me, it seems the du couteau’s marriage was a political match because although that is never blatantly stated, the family is clearly divided in two parts: kat and the general/cass and soreana

their respective bios suggest from a young age each of them learned from one of their parents, and there’s little or nothing about their relationship with the other parent (or each other) from then on. see:

while her sister Katarina flourished under their father’s tutelage, it was their mother Soreana in whose footsteps Cassiopeia would follow.

and

While [Katarina’s] younger sister Cassiopeia took after their politically brilliant mother, Katarina was very much her father’s daughter, and the wily General Du Couteau pushed her to learn the way of the blade;

there is an entire paragraph on katarina’s bio dedicated to how she spent her entire childhood being trained or training herself to be the best assassin (and throughout the text, it is suggested this is because she wanted her father’s approval)

So it was that Katarina’s childhood—if it can be called such—had little room for kindness or rest. She spent every waking moment honing herself into the ultimate weapon, testing her endurance, her dexterity, her tolerance for pain. She stole poisons from the city’s least reputable apothecaries, testing their efficacy in tiny increments upon herself, gradually building her resistance even as she catalogued their effects. She scaled the tallest towers in the dead of night, unseen by anyone.

it is noted her childhood can barely be called that, and that it had little room for kindness or rest, which makes me consider she would probably have been trained from the moment she could hold a blade, and even as children, cassiopeia and katarina never really had the chance to play or even befriend each other, because kat wouldn’t have spent much time with her sister really. she would have been with the general mostly, with the exception of when he went out bc war and/or missions and such, but even then, she would have tried to continue training by herself because she wanted to make him proud.

I assume she did not spend much time with soreana either because of that, and the fact the du couteau’s marriage seems to be political seems to be reinforced in how its established the sisters were different, each taking to one of the parents, and how they spent time learning from one parent only and not both, and not together all of them as a family.

[this is more just a bunch of random questionings that I have than discussing my take on the lore surrounding kat, really, but: was it always something soreana meant to do, to have two kids so one the general could have to make his heir and the other she would teach and make an asset to the black rose? did she ever try to bond with her eldest daughter at all? would have she tried to sway both of them to her side, had katarina not taken so fast to her father’s teachings? I think it’s clear she and cass had a genuine bond in spite of everything, and I really wonder how she felt about kat.]

I don’t think she would like, not care for her mother and sister, but katarina was always distant from them. she was kept mostly isolated, being shaped into a weapon, and sharpening her edges herself even further. I think she cared for them, in a way, but I’m not sure she ever knew them enough to love them.

her father, on the other hand, was the only person she trusted in blindly and completely, and she would have done anything to make him proud before their eventual falling out. she loved him, which is why she feels so irrevocably betrayed given his reaction to her first failure. on his side, though, it’s hard to tell. although he clearly cared enough to train her himself and try to make her the best of the best, it doesn’t seem he’d have shown pride or care or anything related to approval really:

[General Du Couteau] was a harsh teacher with many pupils, and notoriously difficult to impress.

and because he teaches her to be the best for noxus, in her head she tries to be the best to serve noxus, but in reality, even if she doesn’t realize it, her actions are pretty much shaped by a desire to make her father proud, not to serve the empire.

although what is said about her eagerness to finally get her first mission is this:

She yearned to do her part for Noxus. She yearned for the opportunity to demonstrate her hidden strengths in service of the empire, and the throne.

she is pissed off when her father tells her to kill someone that seems unimportant, both due to rank and nobility. she is angry because she feels slighted, not only because her training was for nothing, but because it seems after everything her father doesn’t believe she’s capable of more while she knows she is. she’s more hurt because it feels like even though her entire life was dedicated to being the best it still isn’t enough to actually gain his approval.

so she doesn’t follow what he says and kills a higher ranking guy instead, and what she thinks then is very telling that this is all less because of noxus and more because of herself and her desire to have her father’s approval.

It was a flawless execution. It would bring a swift victory, and glory to Noxus. It would make her father proud.

there are other factors, sure, glory for noxus and all that, but even if katarina can’t see it, her main motivator here isn’t noxus. and when she meets her father again, and he is furious and deeply displeased, she is not only distraught, but she feels alone – which makes a lot of sense considering the only deep bond she had was with her father, and her actions cost her that.

He was furious beyond words, refusing even to look his daughter in the eye. She had shamed him, and their family name. The greatest assassins do not seek recognition or glory, he reminded her. They do not expect to occupy a place of honor at their master’s right hand.

Overwhelmed, Katarina struck out into the wilderness, alone.

her immediate thought after that is to try to correct her mistake, which is the only thing she could do to maybe be forgiven. it’s still an attempt to do something to please him more than it is doing something for her country. and this only changes when he sends talon to kill her, because from then on there’s really nothing that would bring her to the general’s side again.

but his betrayal only hurts her so deeply because she loved him. it is only so unforgivable because she spent years trying to be the best to please him, and although her mistake was dire and she would acknowledge and make up for that, it was one mistake, and it was all it took for him to send someone to kill her.

soreana may have steered cass a certain way, but they did seem to develop a bond with her falling ill and cass taking care of her and how she went on to trust her youngest daughter with her secrets and knowledge of the black rose. when it comes to the general and katarina, it seems much more one sided, in that she was dedicated to learn from him and make him proud, but he never offered her the same amount of trust she placed in him. so between a parent that was never around, a sister that she barely got to know and another parent who made her try to earn his approval her entire life, katarina was always pretty isolated (and lonely). she never really had a sense of family as like, more than a bloodline. she doesn’t know what those bonds are like.

in part, it is what makes her fiercely independent. she never had anyone, so she learned to take care of herself and to think she’s better off alone. (I don’t think that’s how she genuinely feels, but that’s a subject for another time)

[bi-bi-richie]

okay but I saw you couldnt get to sleep and idk i got this idea of richie being an insomniac and never being able to get to sleep and just pestering Eddie bc he feels lonely in the night (he soon releases the best place for him to sleep is when Eddie's arms are wrapped around him)

I’m so sorry this is such an old ask but I’m going to do it now!! I wanted to write a little thing for it! Also I’m not very familiar with insomnia so sorry if this isn’t right

So Richie right? As a young kid, he used to just be a night owl. Always staying up late, always bouncing off the walls but he was a kid so he had to crash at some point

Well that didn’t serve him very well as a young adult in college

This poor guy, no matter how hard he tried, he could never go to sleep. He tried every home remedy, went to every sleep specialist (he could afford) and nothing.

Eventually he really just had to accept it, but he’s still a very active person. It doesn’t take long for boredom to hit him like a freight train

This means he’ll be interrupting a certain somebody’s beauty sleep

That certain somebody is his childhood best friend and college roommate, Eddie

Usually Richie keeps his midnight antics at bat, he took up painting for the low volume of it all

But sometimes he’s uninspired and Eddie is so so so SO cute when he’s annoyed

And what’s more annoying than getting woken up at 3:00 in the morning?

So he pokes at Eddie, shoved him, whispers jokes about his mom, and eventually crawls on top of him

Eddie would wake up and give him the same scolding. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? I’m sleeping you moron!”

Richie will laugh because Eddie is a spitfire when he’s annoyed. He goes from being one of the sweetest people he knows to being a grumpy old man in the blink of an eye

“I’m bored” Richie would say, as if that’s a reasonable excuse

“Are you serious?”

“Please play with me!”

“We’re not kids anymore”

“Please?”

So they stay up and play a card game or they just talk

But eventually Eddie gets tired again and Richie gets lonely

But sometimes he gets to curl up next to Eddie and just, watch his friend (crush) fade into a peaceful sleep

When they start dating, it gets a little better

He does the usual, spends his time alone but at some point he looks at his sleeping boyfriend and thinks about how sweet he looks, how much he wants to be curled up in his arms or hold him

So it starts to go like this

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Hi baby”

“What time is it?”

“Somewhere between midnight and three, but I’m not sure anymore”

“How can I help you?”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Get over here you puppy”

And no, Richie still doesn’t get his sleep, unfortunately, but it’s all the more bearable when he gets to be right up against the boy he loves so much

[frankieshq]

[ itzy vc ] hey, hey, hey, it’s your girl summer coming at you with her twenty years of mediocre existence to present miss FRANKIE KWON. meet my self-conscious, awkward babie who uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism. you can find info about her under the cut !! i might have written a long ass bio that i didn’t bother to finish on a google docs but will be linking that one soon.

BACKGROUND

[tl;dr: young girl grows up in a matriarchal household that is heavy with regret and blame. dad comes and makes her childhood a bit happier, only to leave and break her heart because he’s an asshole. grows up thinking her smarts is gonna save her, but it’s actually her humor that does]

to truly understand frankie kwon, one must go way back--back to when her grandparents first immigrated to michigan. landing in detroit, sunhwa kwon and her husband didn’t have it easy. she had a two-year-old hanging by her neck and a brilliant but unambitious husband. she had to struggle with odd jobs for years while taking care of her family and helping her husband learn english, so he can use his engineering degree in america. she became a severe woman, never softened by affection but hardened by grit and hard work. eventually, the her husband was able to land a stable job and the family relocated to chelsea. 

sunhwa made sure to train and hone her daughter jina’s natural intellect, but her methods were severe and lacking in affection. jina looked for the affection she didn’t find at home elsewhere. she fell in love with the first boy that called her beautiful, and at eighteen, gave birth to francesca areum kwon. 

and so it goes that frankie was born in a household  heavy with guilt, blame, and regret. there was love there somewhere, but it was constantly shadowed by feelings that existed way before she did. the emotional scars her mother and grandmother inflicted on each other were too deep-seated that their love for each other hid behind a cover of blame and snark. at a young age, frankie learned how to read a room, learned what to say or do so as to not aggravate the precarious balance of their household. she learned how to figure out whether her mother was too tired from work or whether her grandmother was in a snappy mood. it was a tightrope dance she learned how to perfect, growing up faster than she should have. 

all her grandmother’s lost hope for her mother transferred to frankie, and her grandma supervised her education with the same vigor. although, this time, she was a tad bit more affectionate to her granddaughter (i mean all grandmas can’t resist their grandchildren, let’s be real). her mom wanted to protest, but aside from the guilt, she was always busy. being a single mom was hard enough, but she also had to take care of her aging mother.

frankie is a shy kid by nature, but her household just intensified this predisposition. she had few friends because she was scared about approaching kids first. she spends her time watching cartoons, studying, and writing in her journal.

enter: frankie’s dad, andrew grant. he left chelsea and his pregnant ex-gf bc he’s an asshole. but he comes back nine years later because he failed at whatever version of the american dream he was following at that time.

he taught frankie to have fun !! she’d spend afternoons at his car shop bantering with him and telling jokes. eventually, she relayed these jokes to people at school and was shocked when people actually laughed. she became more well-liked, developed a sense humor, and had more friends. the ages 9-12 were probably her happiest. 

at 12 years old, she got invited to a middle school sleepover for the weekend. but she had a big test on monday, and her grandma doesn’t allow her to go to stuff if she has tests the next schoolday. with the help of her mom, she was able to go to it by pretending it was a school event. had so much fun and forgot to study. she didn’t get a grade high enough for her grandmother to be happy, though. once her grandma found out what she did and her mom’s involvement, she was livid !! that was the biggest fight her grandma and mom got into and frankie was grounded for a month. the worst part was, throughout the fight, frankie felt like she was a burden to the two women she loved the most. she felt like she was the reason her mother was always tired, constantly nagged on by her grandmother about wasted potential.

to make matters worst, her dad left town again. fell in love with some other venture. he told her he would come back but never did. 

since that day, frankie dedicated herself full force to her studies. she felt like she needed to make it up to her mom and grandma for all their sacrifices. she built a wall around herself because it’s easier that way. she had few friends, but it was better for her.

her grandmother died during her senior year of high school. she loved her grandma, but she felt as if a weight lifted from her chest. her mom encouraged her to go to school as far as she liked. 

she got a scholarship to columbia and studied statistics like the big nerd that she is !!

she met roman and lucy here, finally felt that she had friends that she felt she can really open to. 

after college, she worked for a firm. she finally felt secure, like she payed some sort of unsaid debt to her grandma but she wasn’t happy, folks :(((

she first did stand-up as a dare on an open mic and she was so shocked that people laughed. she was tipsy then, and kept made self-deprecating jokes of her childhood trauma. love that for her.

the more stand-up she did, though, the more nervous she got because she gets really worried if she’s doing things right. instead of improving, she got worse because her nerves always get to her. don’t get me wrong the jokes are great, it’s just that her execution doesn’t always land.

comedy was just a vERY beloved side hobby for her until a small production company based on youtube offered her a writer position. she would get to  write their skits and stuff, but she it payed wAY less than her present job. she was like fuck it, and took the offer. she wanted to make people laugh.

that leads us to here, a girl who is still unsure whether leaving a secure job was the way to go, secretly hoping to be a famous comedian.

PERSONALITY

frankie is like a spring roll you guys. outside, she masks her awkwardness and shyness with some cRunCHy self-deprecating jokes and sarcasm. so, she has an intimidating exterior because she tries to be tougher than she actually is. inside, she’s just a soft and sad girl. she doesn’t talk much if she isn’t comfortable with you, but once she is, she talks a loT. but it does take a while for her to warm up to people. can be extremely judgmental (a trait inherited from her grandma), but her mind can be changed. isn’t stubborn, though, and is actually a doormat. the type of person to say something and obsess over it because she’s scared that it might have offended someone. 

HEADCANONS

lots of repressed femininity because there was a lot of internal misogyny in her household growing up !! it was only until college with the help of lucy, that she was able to access her girlier side. 

is a lesbian, but has a lot of internal homophobia as well. her grandma was a very traditional woman, so frankie feels very guilty about liking girls, and is very hesitant about going on dates and actively looking for relationships even though she’s really lonely.

likes writing a lot !! used to keep journals since she was 8 because it honestly made her feel less lonely growing up. 

nOBODY CALL HER FRANCESCA. she hates that name, but likes her second name a lot. only her grandma called her areum tho.

spends a lot of time at  mon’s deli, and mon could also be counted as her bff. she and the old man gossip and chitchat about the bennington street residents for hours. is this also because she is in dire need of a father figure?? maybe, yes, absolutely

used to have really low alcohol tolerance, but sort of grew out of it?? if she doesnt drink for a month or two tho, her tolerance goes back to zero like dont ask me, i dont make the rules

still a big fan of cartoons and kid humor !! loves amazing world of gumball and steven universe

makes her own kimchi because her grandma and mom have a special family recipe, will happily share if she likes you

i imagine the level of closeness she has in the group varies, like she’s closer to some people than others and acts differently around them

would really like to do stand-up again but still has stage fright

want her to either end up working on something as big as snl or writing movies or overcoming her stage fright and becoming a successful stand-up comedienne !!

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[sup-hoes-its-me]

With Time (Tobirama x Reader)

A/N: I'm a terrible writer, I know. Tobirama x reader bc this guy doesn't get enough love. I really love the song anxiety by blackbear so here's a one shot inspired by the vibes i get from it.

word count: 4732

Part one/Part Two/Part Three

I am a Hatake. Naturally I loved dogs, right? They were our family’s summon, our most important companions (other than our human ones), and the one true beast we trusted with our lives. You’d think I’d get along with every dog and mutt out there, regardless of breed, right?

Wrong.

There was one absolute dog that I could not stand. His name was Tobirama Senju. He was the bane of my existence.

Ever since we were children growing up together, I couldn’t stand him. I was always close with his older brother, Hashirama, or as I nicknamed him, “Hashi-kun”. We would run through the forest together, playing silly games like cops and robbers, and pretending we were explorers from a far away land. Then, when we grew of age, we started to train together in our shinobi natures. While he was the only living person known to use the Wood nature, I inherited the Lightning nature from my father.

We were raised in the Warring States period, and although most clans were at war during this time, the Hatake and Senju never had issues with each other (idk if this is even true, just go with it, fam). It was mainly us against the terrible Uchiha who threatened our lives each time we battled. When we were old enough to engage in combat, we did. That’s how our childhood was. We fought for our lives if we could use our chakra, if not we stayed at home and did what we could to support our clans.

For the most part, I was a friendly, easy going girl. I liked normal things, like eating dango and climbing trees and making friends. But for some goddamn reason I could not bring myself to like Tobirama. Frankly, I thought he was a grumpy bitch, and I didn’t want anything to do with him.

Still, Hashirama insisted that I attempt to become friends with him. After all, they were brothers, and if I was to be one of his best friends, I would need to be civil with his only surviving brother.

But it was just everything about that mug that made me want to punch him in the face. His stupid spiky gray hair that almost matched that of my clan. I hated the way he marked his face every morning with that red paint. His face protector was the ugliest, stupidest thing I’d ever laid eyes on.

And god, was he rude to me. Always had been since I first met him at six years old. Six! He was five and I was six, and he completely embarrassed me in front of my friends by telling me my lightning release was weak, and his baby brother could do better. The comment was far from necessary, and it made me fume.

Not to mention he had to be better at everything. He had to best me at Water Release, and he always one upped me when we trained. Hashirama would laugh and always congratulate both of us for our skills, but I was always shamed I couldn’t impress anyone. He always had to show off in front of his clan, my friends, even my dad.

Even my summon, Popo, had taken a liking to him after I specifically told the dog that the boy was pure evil.

To put it simply, Tobirama was my rival and a pain in my neck. I’m not sure he was fully aware of how I felt because I tried to keep things civil, but I could tell from sideways glances and scoffs that he knew something was up between us.

The first time I actually spoke to him alone, without the comforting presence of Hashirama was almost eye-opening. I was sitting in a tree, the ripe age of seventeen. It was my birthday, and I spent it alone. Ever since my father died, I spent the majority of holidays alone.

I let my feet swing below me, hanging from the thick branch. I pulled one of my knees to my chest to hug, pressing my nose to my skin to hide my face. I wouldn’t cry, but I couldn’t help but feel empty. Being isolated in this way really damages a person.

The tree I sat in was producing bright green apples, and they hung around me. They were still sour, not quite ripe yet. I could smell them, the intense scent of freshly picked apples, like the ones my mother used to bring home to bake. They reminded me of a time when my older brother ate so many sour apples because of his and got so sick to his stomach he was throwing up for two days.

Suddenly, I jumped when an apple came hurtling my way and knocking into the trunk I leant against. I cursed under my breath and glared down at the ground, looking for the culprit so I could give them a good whack on the head. Instead, I was met with someone unexpected, and most definitely unwelcome.

“What the hell, Senju?” I growled at him, picking an apple by my head and throwing it down at him with deadly accuracy. He sidestepped it though with a soft ‘tsk’ under his breath. When he said nothing for another few moments, I persisted. “Well? Do you have an issue because I’d rather not be harassed by-”

“Shut up, Y/N. I’m not here to give you a hard time,” he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “I’m actually here to give you something.”

“Sure you are.” I rolled my eyes as I replied. He had to be pulling my leg. I mean, what would he have to give me other than a bad day and embarrassment. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited with my nose stuck in the air. He looked just as unimpressed and irritated as I did, but I could see some foreign emotion flashing through his red almond eyes. I questioned flatly, “What is it?”

He pulled a small box from his pocket, about as big as the palm of his hand and tossed it to me. I caught it in my hand and held it up to inspect it. It didn’t look dangerous, but it could have a paper bomb inside for all I knew. I pulled the box into my lap so I could glare down at him.

“Why are you giving this to me? What is it?”

“It’s just something I had lying around. Don’t think much of it, Hatake,” the boy told me gruffly before turning on his heel. Just as he made it a few steps in the other direction, he abruptly came to a stop and tilted his head forward. I wondered if he was contemplating something as he stood there with his hands strictly shoved in his pockets. I thought for a second to throw another apple at him, but decided against it. I’m so glad I didn’t.

He peered over his shoulder for a quick second before looking away again. “Happy Birthday, Y/N.”

I gaped at him as he walked away. When he was out of my sight, I looked down at the small box in my lap and narrowed my eyes. Was this really a birthday present from my rival? I took a deep breath and untied the wire holding the lid closed.

Hesitantly, I opened the lid and put it to the side. Inside the box were two absolutely beautiful shuriken. They were razor sharp, two of the best I’d ever seen. They were so new and polished that they glimmered in the sunlight. I gasped as I picked one up and held it in my hands. It was weighted perfectly and sat in my hand like it was made for me.

There was no way he just kept shuriken of this quality just sitting around. Tobirama must have bought these special for me. For my birthday. No one cared about my birthday anymore. Not even my brother who lived with his wife and family. As I held the shuriken in my hands, I let out a hitched breath.

Tobirama, you bastard.

_______________________________________

The second time I was alone with Tobirama was actually during a confrontation. Never in my entire life did I think I would defend the Senju, actually protect him from harm like I cared about him, only that’s precisely what happened when he encountered a certain Madara one day when he was in the forest training.

Tobirama had a special place he preferred to train. It was right at the edge of the forest beside the river. He was so skilled in his water jutsu and worked on this developing one. I forgot what it was called, but it involved beautiful water dragons. I watched him conjure it once while I worked on the side with Hashirama. I was completely captivated. It was beautiful, what this man had created.

I was walking through the forest with my summon by my side. He was a majestic husky with intense blue eyes and reddish-brown fur mixed into the white. I loved him like my own family, and often let just walk around with me when I was lonely. He was nice company.

He knew all about my conflicted feelings towards Tobirama. He knew how I thought that his jutsu were gorgeous, and that I’d been moved when he gifted me those shuriken for my birthday. He knew all about it. And he often teased me. It was like having an annoying older brother around, I swear.

“Are you aware that you’re leading us directly to where Tobir-” I swiftly cut Popo off before he could say anything else.

“I just wanted to visit the river today and sit on my favorite rock, Popo. I doubt he’ll be training this late, anyway.” That was a lie. I knew Tobirama would be training at this time. He trained nearly every day at six sharp, and it was a little after seven. He probably wouldn’t finish up for another hour.

I didn’t quite understand why I wanted to see him, but I was convincing myself it was just to thank him for the shuriken he gave me a week ago. That had to be it. I wasn’t going to visit Tobirama for my own satisfaction, was I?

My dog laughed to himself, but continued at my side obediently as always.

The forest was oddly tense as we approached the river where he would normally be. I could faintly make out his figure from where I was, but also there was another figure just beyond him, dressed in all black with black hair. My gut immediately told me, Uchiha, and I gasped. My hand subconsciously slipped out one of the shuriken from my pocket, clutching it tightly between my fingers as I approached on silent feet.

And as I listened in on their conversation, narrowly avoiding their range of sight behind trees and thick brushes, I realized the danger in this confrontation. I bit my lip and fiddled with my weapon, ready to pounce on Madara if needed. Strangely, I felt the need to protect Tobirama. It was like this odd burning desire in my stomach, and I desperately wished to smother the thought.

Only, my mind was on more important things.

I could barely make out what he saying at first, but finally I could hear what Tobirama was saying, and it left my heart racing. “-the only way to end this is to kill you.” He sounded so serious, his voice deep and terrifying. Although these two boys were only teenagers, barely seventeen, they were fully capable and ready to slaughter each other.

My back pressed to a tree, feeling the bark scratch my skin through the fishnets. The shaking through my hands was almost uncontrollable, and I had to steady them to keep from dropping my weapon. I was scared. I admit it. I was terrified. I didn’t want to just stand here and let Tobirama get hurt, but Madara, all of the Uchiha really, were terrifying.

“The day I allow you to raise a hand to me will be the day you die, Senju,” the other boy replied.

“So be it. We will see who really is superior.”

Then, the sound of a sword unsheathing made my head snap up and breath to suddenly inflate my lungs. The fear for myself left my body as I rushed out from behind the tree. I felt like crying as tears gathered behind my eyes. There would not be a fight to the death on this day, at this spot, if I could help it.

I threw myself between the pair. I thankfully kept myself on my feet as I gasped, gritting my teeth to keep myself from crying. I held up a hand towards Madara, as if I had a chance of keeping him from destroying me and getting to Tobirama with the snap of his fingers. My entire body was trembling so violently that I could barely keep my balance.

Tobirama was completely shocked to see me, his eyes wide and concerned. He noticed the glint of his shuriken in my hand and the tears streaming down my face. He was beginning to say something, but only my name left his lips.“Y/N-”

Madara rudely interrupted, his eyes scanning my quivering, minuscule form with amusement in his eyes. “Who is this? You’re little Hatake girlfriend? Can’t defend yourself, Tobirama,” he mocked. I glanced up at him finally, having enough courage to face him. He had no emotion in those blank black irises. Nothing. I felt another rough tremor run through my body at that.

“Please, don’t. N-Not here. Not now, M-Madara,” I whispered through my teeth. I took another step closer to Tobirama until I could feel the heat from his body. I kept my eyes on the Uchiha though. He had no right to threaten my friend like this. He had no right to cross this river where Tobirama trained and threaten to steal his life. “Tobirama, please,” I whimpered. His rough, calloused fingers touched my upper arm before wrapping around and tugging me closer to him, almost behind him in a protective stance.

His gaze was enough for the Uchiha to get the hint. It was not the time. “Fine,” he replied grimly. “Another day we will finally see who prevails.”

With those words being his last, he left into the forest.

I let out a sob, pressing my hands over my eyes to cover my pathetic tears. Why was I even crying? I wasn’t sure. Was it because of my fear, or because of my overwhelming rush of adrenaline? I felt like I was drowning in my emotions, and the only thing I could do was cry.

Tobirama sighed, brushing a few strands of my hair behind my ears. “Y/N, why did you do that?” he mumbled.

“I couldn’t just let you get hurt. I thought you might die, Tobirama!” I cried, burying my face further into my palms.

“Do you doubt my abilities?”

“Tobirama, please. I-I just couldn’t stand the thought of you getting hurt; even if you are strong, you can still make a mistake, you idiot!” I bawled, finally taking my hands off of my face. Before he had the time to protest, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and pulled him close to me, burying my snotty nose and salty eyes into his shoulder. “You dumb idiot. Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I scold him against his collarbone, my lips just barely skimming his skin.

He was awkward and tense, wrapped his arms strictly around my shoulders and patted  me on the back.

“Don’t do that again!”

“Y/N-”

I hissed against his skin and tightened my grip on his neck. “Shut up. Just promise me!” I cried. He nodded begrudgingly, but that was enough for me. I melted in his hold and kept crying until all the tears had drained from my body. And he didn’t utter another word.

___________________________________________

The third time was different. The third time I knew I felt something for Tobirama at this point that I would have never even given thought to before. I was twenty, living alone in my single room apartment. I was a weak shinobi that woke up every morning, wore nearly the same outfit,  drank the same tea from the same tea shop, saw the same faces on the street, and reported to the same hokage each morning.

But I rarely slept. My sleeping schedule ran wild and irregular. It was because I could never get him off my mind. The brother of the first Hokage, the boy who gifted me those shuriken when we were seventeen. The boy who threatened an entire clan and could probably succeed. The boy who held me when I cried and promised me things would be okay.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he smirked when someone did something stupid, or the way he rolled his eyes when his brother spoke about gambling and laughed like a complete lunatic. I couldn’t stop thinking about his face, and how he looked just right when the sun was shining in from the east. I liked the color of his hair, and that his eyes were a unique red, unlike the sharingan, but perfect for him.

His jutsus were outstanding, and his speed rivalled that of no other. He was amazing.

I was entranced by Tobirama Senju, and no one was to know. Not even my best friend, Hashirama. Definitely not him. He would no doubt attempt to meddle and ruin everything. He would be ecstatic and tell me that his plan or whatever worked out, that he was jumping for joy that his best friend was interested in his little brother.

The mere thought of that man’s reaction made me want to be sick.

I’m not sure why I suddenly had this infatuation with the light haired warrior. I wanted I drown out those thoughts, but they kept coming back. I could barely keep my composure when we were working together. He was so handsome, and each time we touched I felt jolts go up and down my arms. Not only was it embarrassing, but incredibly frustrating. I couldn’t get my work done properly with him around.

The only one to know about my feelings was, of course, Popo.

‘Y/N, I’ve known since you were five years old that you were interested in that Senju boy,’ Popo would tell me as if he really knew this would happen all along. He would say,  ‘Although, he doesn’t seem like the dating type, and is quite cold, I believe that you two have history and chemistry to work through the dents.’

And I always scoffed. I did not want to pursue a relationship with him. He was still the annoying Senju I’ve always known, only now he’s grown up and isn’t as rude and ugly anymore. He might even be helpful and attractive...at times. That’s all I’m saying.

Anyway, after the village was created and Hashirama took place as Hokage, he was quick to let me take the place as his personal assistant, which basically meant I just helped him with paperwork and advised him on some important issues facing Konoha. Tobirama was also there to make decisions. We all worked together to keep the village afloat and developing.

I sat beside the long-haired man’s desk with Popo sitting by my side, his head resting in my lap. I stroked his fur softly with my free hand as I filled out paperwork with the other. Hashirama drank tea and scanned over his lotto tickets from earlier that week. He was quite the gambler, and he’d even passed the trait onto his granddaughter, Tsunade. Cute little girl, I tell you, but god was she stubborn.

I took a break from the work to sip at my own green tea, my eyes sliding from the work to my friend. He caught my gaze and grinned. “Y/N, you really don’t have to fill that out if you don’t want to. It’s my job after all.”

“It’s fine. Gives me something to do.”

“Or we could just talk, like old times! What do you say?! It’s been weeks since we had a long, fun conversation, don’t you think, Hatake?” he asked with a chuckle. I nodded, a smile growing on my lips as well. I set down my tea and placed my pen into the ink pot.

“How’s life? Treating you well?”

I nodded, wondering why he was asking. He saw me everyday, and asked the same question each morning, and then after lunch. “I mean, yeah. I don’t have anything to complain about,” I replied, trying to come up with something other than “fine” or “good” like usual.

“Any suitors yet? I know you’ve been single for a long time.”

“Hashi-kun, you know me. Lonely as always. None of the other shinobi catch my eye,” I lied through my teeth. And as always, my cheeks turned a bit red. They always did when I was thinking about Tobirama. When he mentioned suitors, I hated that my mind immediately went to him. “Well, there might be one person, but it’s not plausible.”

He quirked a brow, and I noticed the bright smile growing on his face fill with mischief. I guess this is why he’s my best friend. “Oh? Care to share?”

“Not particularly. I don’t want to get your hopes up,” I laughed, but it was obviously to cover up my nervousness. He noticed.

“Ah, I see. Well, if you need help, I’m all ears, and I can be quite the matchmaker.”

We talked about some other stuff, like his family and my dogs, especially Popo, who remained asleep in my lap for the conversation. The door finally swung open an hour or so later after the sun had begun to set and our tea run cold. Without a knock or anything, the door creaked open and in entered Tobirama in his casual clothes, forehead protector nowhere to be seen. That was my favorite time to stare at his face, as weird as that is. He just looked so...manly. Kinda...well, hot! He was hot as fuck with his hair falling down and his face clear.

He froze when he noticed me sitting at the desk with his brother and my summon. Eyes scanned my form, and I felt myself shift under his gaze. “Tobi,” I hummed the sweet nickname I adopted about a year or two before.

Tobirama rolled his eyes at my nickname, still not used to the casualness behind it. His hand went to rub the back of his neck. “Y/N, I didn’t know you were here.” He averted his gaze from me to the floor.

I noticed when he walked it that he looked clean and rid of sweat and dirt. He must not have trained today, or a least not at the usual time. He maintained that evening practice long into his adulthood. “I thought you would be training. Normally you’re out until eight or so working on your new jutsu,” I said.

“I decided to relax today.”

Satisfied, I smiled up at him and clapped my hands together.“That’s great. You deserve a break, you know. After all, you work so hard during the day trying to bring peace to Konoha and all.” It felt awkward: what I saying, praising him this way, the way he was looking at me as if I was the only one in the room that mattered.

Hashirama noticed the air between us, smugly crossing his arms across his chest and flicking his gaze between us. I gaped at him like a fish and quickly ducked my head, burying my face in my dog’s fur. He stirred from his slumber, but didn’t move, only sighed.

“I hope your conversation wasn’t too important-”

“Nope. We were actually just discussing you.”

I bit my lip, trying not to explode. What the hell were you doing, Hashirama? I screamed in my head. If he exposed me, I would kill him. Godlike shinobi or not, I would actually murder him.

Thankfully, Tobirama said nothing.

“What did you need, brother?”

“Tsunade was calling for you. She wishes you read her a story before bed,” he muttered sheepishly, a phrase I never thought I would use when talking about the man. Sheepish. He was the most blunt, brute man that I knew. Hashirama laughed as he stood from his desk, nodding his head.

He really adored his kin. I admired that about him. He had so many children and grandchildren, no wonder he was such a happy man. I peeked up from Popo’s fur to see my friend leaving the room. He waved to me and saved me a wink for when he was shutting the door. Dammit, Hashi. Like I thought, he was a meddling bastard.

“Y/N, how are you this evening?”

I bit my lip and looked to the side, not daring to look in his crimson eyes. My heart would no doubt skip a beat.

“I’m good, I guess. Just a lot of paperwork,” I told him softly, just barely below my normal speaking voice. He nodded firmly, and suddenly I couldn’t handle the tension between us. If possible, you could cut this tension with a knife. It was awkward and tense, and I could feel my pulse in my chest with every anxious, confused breath.

I stood from my place at the desk and brushed down my skirt, straightening my top as well. He scanned my form; I could feel it from the corner of my eye. I placed the files and papers in a neat pile on the desk, threw the pen in the bucket, and patted Popo on the back, as a signal we were about to leave.

He raised a non-existent brow at me, judging me with that dog logic of his.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, well, Hashirama is gone, and I don’t have any more work tonight so-”

“Right, right. I won’t keep you,” he agreed, his voice lacking his normal confidence. He seemed tired, or even disappointed. Yet, I was too distracted with my own feelings to take much notice. “It was...nice speaking with you.”

I tried to gaze up at him, a small, lopsided smile on my lips. But his face was just too much for me to handle. I loved the way his lip was curved up in a weird grimace, almost a smile but almost a cringe. He looked hilarious. I liked the way his eyes stared out the window as if he felt nervous. He held his head high, chin in the air, but he looked so timid at the same time. He was completely adorable.

No doubt my cheeks were red as I turned my head down once again. “It was nice seeing you too, Tobi-kun.” My voice, as light as a feather sighed. I started to walk to the door and had my hand on the knob when my dog grabbed at my sleeve, making me pause if only for a split second.

But that second was enough.

“Y/N.”

Swiftly, I peered over my shoulder at him. The strange urgency in his tone made me take a second guess. I wasn’t sure how either of us were feeling in that moment. His emotions were hard to read that night. I felt like I was staring at a puzzle, an impossible one.

“Yes?”

“It’s nothing. I don’t know why I called your name. Carry on, Hatake.” My heart broke when he called me by my surname for the first time in years. Once again, I turned around and grabbed the doorknob, only this time I pushed the door open and left the room.

Popo sighed loudly as he trotted by my side down the long corridor. “You are a fool, Y/N. An absolutely foolish little girl.” And I couldn’t say anything back. I knew he was right.

[clamorbelli]

whaddup . it’s ya boy , skinny penis . ok so there’s not much to put here except hi to any new people that might’ve not seen my intro for noelle & angelo ( CLICK HERE ). i’m jaz, & this here is my newest babe, sebastian higgings. i’ve definitely missed stuff, but underneath the cut u’ll find plenty of fun stuff abt him. and by fun i mean tragic , bc sebastian is a piece of shit. ; )

‹  LIKE THIS OR HMU IF YOU’D LIKE TO PLOT WITH SEB.  ›

TRIGGER WARNINGS  :  death, drugs, alcohol, emotional instability, therapy mentions, unhealthy habits, blood mention.

◟ * ◊ ─  keith powers + cismale + he/him » * believe it or not sebastian belongs to the higgings family. they are 26 years of age and are known to usually spend their time around buena vista apartments. the photographer has been living in victoria for 22 years. the people closest to them describe the bisexual + aquarius to be +inspired and +autonomous as well as -callous and -debauched.

sebastian is the ( current ) eldest son of the late johnathan and sasha higgings, born to the couple when they were happy, in love, and a shining example of what marriage should be. sebastian was a momma’s boy through and through from the day he was born, severe separation issues plaguing his infantdom, only rectified through intense therapy. his bond with his mother, even after finally being convinced she wasn’t the only nice person in the world, never wavered however. they were thick as thieves.

there was never anything remarkable about seb’s childhood except his fondness for the family camera whenever they went on holiday. his parents first believed it was a desire to model, but they soon came to understand it wasn’t being in front of it that seb wanted, he wished to be behind it. from then on they gave him a disposable on every trip, and before long the house was full of his amateur photography.

when he was ten, the unthinkable and unfathomable happened. his mother died. seb had been an entirely normal, average kid up until that point, but part of him died the day his mother slipped away forever. it was impossible for it not too, with the amount of time they’d spent together, his dependency on her at birth, the fact she was his best friend and it didn’t matter what the kids at school thought. as a child, he was ruined, affected for the rest of his life in ways he didn’t quite understand yet.

seb was sixteen by the time victoria was adopted into the family, and his reign of terror on victoria had long since begun. he came home with bloody noses and bruises more times than he could count, he sneered and spat at other kids in the playground, knowing they could do little except beat him to a pulp and have their parents foot the bill. he started drinking all too early, dabbled in drugs no sixteen year old should’ve touched, spent nights away from home, uninterested in the new woman in his father’s life.

victoria, however, was a different story. the pair got on like a house on fire, likely because of their bratty, conniving ways. at that age sebastian was like gasoline and his newfound sister was the match. natalya still had seb’s heart from when they were kids, his sister being the one thing in life he still felt warmth for, but victoria had managed to form a relationship of her own with him. for a while it was them against the world, until cassandra stepped in, pitted the girls against each other, and made life infinitely harder for a boy already on the brink.

he and his father argued daily. blazing rows that ended in smashed kitchenware. seb was losing it but the higgings patriarch failed to see his behaviour as anything more than childish cries for attention. seb didn’t know the empty feeling in his chest wasn’t normal. he didn’t know he shouldn’t play with girls emotions until they cried. he didn’t understand why he only felt things when he was getting into schoolyard fights or looking through the lens of a camera.

seb graduated high school and chose to do an online course for photography, honing his skills whilst remaining close by until his sisters graduated. when they did, he only managed a year without natalya before leaving the city himself, he would miss victoria dearly, but they facetimed every day and skyped properly at the weekends. before he left he told his father to stick his businesses up his ass. he was disconnecting from his legacy. his final words to his father were full of toxicity and rage, as they had been for 12 years now.

he went to new york, cliché and crazy as it may have been, and found a surprisingly immense amount of success. through some ridiculous means, his shots were picked up by a local, renowned photography blog, the owner of the blog also owning a gallery, wishing to display his work. from then on it was up and up. seb travelled the globe, was able to shoot the most incredible places, spent his weeks on planes and trains and on his feet. he had his dream, he made a name for himself, he didn’t need his father.

seb may have had the career of his dreams, but his personal life was a shambles. full of one night stands with no substance, exes that hated his guts, friends who’d found it too unbearable to be around him. he was arrogant, confident in himself to a fault, unable to connect with passion on any level except with his work. he was a riot, a fun guy to be around who was willing to try anything once, but he lacked the ability to form meaningful relationships. people came and went and seb was left, alone, in his fancy apartment somewhere in manhattan. he was as lonely as he was the day his mother had died, things in that regard had never changed.

the phone call he received when victoria died shook him to his core, the male feeling something other than debauchery for the first time in a long time. his father? a fucking waste of space who failed to keep his children safe, but victoria? he flew home just days ago, having one emotional instinct left in him – his brotherly instinct. natalya was still alive and god knows seb was going to lose another member of his family. 

PERSONALITY  :

ok so yeah, seb’s an dick. when i say emotionally unavailable i mean . . . highly, on an unhealthy level that requires some serious therapy. seb lost himself when his mother died and since then he’s been trying to find some solace in these flings he always has but, of course, he never will. he’s apathetic when it comes to people becoming attached to him so tends to be particularly cruel with ppl who get involved w him.

asshole . like, just not . .. a nice person . will point out someone’s faults, will tell u if ur skirt is ugly as fuck, willing to laugh in your face if he thinks what you said is stupid. just doesn’t . . give a f. needs to grow up.

hOWEVERRRR R rr. ofc if he was like that 24/7 he’d never even get people into bed in the first place so he can, of course, turn on the charm. he’s very flirtatious, loves sex and sexually charged conversations. flirting is a hobby for him and it’s one he has fun with. if ur not looking for anything deeper, seb isn’t too bad ig . if you can engage him on things he wants to talk about, keep things chill, not take his dickheadedness to heart, etc, he can be manageable. sort of.

massively confident, but unfortunately it’s justified. he’s beautiful, he’s talented, he’s rich of his own accord, and he’s successful. he’s massively independent, but finds it hard to work in a team.

he’s ! lowkey ! a visionary !!! when it comes to photography he really is that bitch and is genuinely incredible at his job because it’s something he’s actually passionate about. he never turns down the opportunity to photograph, so even though usually he loves money, he’d be willing to do a lot of photography for free whilst he’s back bc ? he just loves doing it, and it reminds him of his mom and how she encouraged him.

uHhh bad habits to the max. the only one of my charas who regularly takes hard drugs and drinks, has a penchant for mdma and is looking into microdosing to help his artistic ability. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS  :

exes from before he moved away

fwbs

best friend, probably only 1 bc . . . intolerable

any kind of connection from before he moved, bc it’s always exciting to see someone again after four years right

enemies lmao

people he knew in new york, if anyone has charas who’ve been there recently

people that were friends with vic

i dunno i’m not good at these y’aLL KNO I LIKE BRAINSTORMING DOMFDOD

give me some angsty shit too

[augustuspierce]

augustus pierce (noun): meaning demon, trash can, and literally The Worst

hey guys ! it’s a-me- mario ! just kidding, it’s a-me- hay. hey. i came up with this character on a whim so who knows where this is going ? all i know is that he is a walking garbage can ! he’s trash ! good luck lmao ! 

╰☆╮ MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL ─ AUGUSTUS PIERCE identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a MEMBER OF CHERRY BOMB, and they’re only TWENTY-TWO ! they’re said to be TALENTED, but also SELFISH. i guess that’s why they’re known as the TRASHCAN in the tabloids.

augustus pierce was born on november 11th, 1996 to a very wealthy family in liverpool. his dad is a famous polo athelete and his mom is a fashion designer. She’s French. they’re very old money rich, ya know? and they expect to stay that way

he was raised to be the perfect boy. he is an expert in polo, lacrosse, and equestrian training. you would expect him to be like a world famous horse racer but no, he hates it.

his parents were never really there anyway. their children seemed to be on the back burner, like they forgot they had them. his dad was always charming people out of their money and his mom was always in paris or new york with much more important people than her children

he has a sister, too! more on her later as we figure out that wc !

 so his parents always had better things to do and he was sent away to a boarding school as soon as he was able. there, he spent his childhood and teenager years in dumb uniforms and strict teachers

he was very popular bc 1. the money 2. he’s gorgeous 3. dID I MENTION THAT HE’S GORGEOUS???

he developed his father’s charm and his mother’s silver tongue. he can charm anyone out of anything

he’s very manipulative so he can get anything he wants. he can get good grades and marks just based on a sweet smile

he looks soft but he’s deadly.  people are willing to trust him but that’s a bad idea

he rebels against his parent’s ‘perfect son image’ so he does exactly the opposite of what they say. how petty. he smokes, drinks, does drugs, and has a lot of sex. he’s a walking bad idea.

it was his father’s idea to kick him out bc “that would teach him a lesson” but it literally did not. it just made gus more angry and bitter

he’s non-committal to anything except his few friends. most people think that they’re friends with him, but they’re pawns for when he’s bored and he gets bored easily

what would really piss off his parents? well, starting a band. so that’s what he did. he and two of his friends start their band, CHERRY BOMB. the drummer, the bassist, and NOAH are really the only people he cares about besides his sister. noah and gus have an on/off again relationship and most of the time they don’t even kno what they’re doing so it’s confusing and they bicker all the time

his voice claim is the 1975 !! listen here and it gives you a good sense !! when noah sings, he’s the guitarist 

he’s really lonely. like really fucking lonely, but i guess that’s what happens when your parents don’t care for u and u have no one lol

he’s a tradgy,,,got really into Intense Drugs like two years ago and that took a toll on him :(( he’s embarrassed about like heroin but he’ll still do everything else

anyway, he’s a wlking garbage can that can and will manipulate you

he’s pansexual and he’s not against sleeping with anyone to get what he wants. cheating??? is not…a taboo for him

he’s beautiful and deadly, like a siren! has a posh british accent

he is very,,,alone. he’s aware that no one actually loves him and he tries to be okay with that (hint: he’s not). he’s sadder than he lets on

he keeps himself occupied with various hookups and drugs to stop the pain in his chest :(((

anyyyyyyyyway let’s plot !!

plots: 

band members ! see the wc page

family friends

people he’s fucked with in the past

people he’s messing with rn/manipulating

ex-friendships

ex from london (f/m/nb)

regular exes (f/m/nb)

someone he led on just,,,for fun !!

friends with benefits !! 

maybe some friends :((( probs not lmao

someone who thinks they can ‘save’ him

etc !!!

[utapribr]

I never played the games and I saw yesterday that Otoya's father is actually Shining (yeah I'm very late in the news), I'm shocked lmao do you know if the games have other important info the anime didn't show?

Oh my, where do I even start… Tbh, the anime is the tip of the iceberg of what Utapri has to offer, plot-wise. Really, the games have lots of content and potential even if Broccol doesn’t explore it but lol what can we do. I highly suggest you to look up some reviews of the game routes so that you can get the most of it, details etc, it’s really interesting. Overall, I’ll just throw the basics under the Read More ^^

Otoya - One of the charas with the most complicated story arc that Broccoli forgets to bring up even though everyone is interested in. His mom (Kotomi) is a composer, just like Haruka, and she used to be Shining’s partner (music and love-wise), but when he had to choose over career or love, he chose career and left her. He didn’t know that she was pregnant though, so she had a son (Otoya) on her own. She suffered a plane crash though, and everyone assumed she was dead. He was raised by his aunt until she died and he went on an orphanage. In the games, he lowkey knows that Shining is his dad, but he doesn’t talk to him about it (I wouldn’t either lol tbh Shining is an ass for knowing that Otoya is his son later and still leaving him on an orphanage when he could be raising the boy but ok).

Cecil - Yeah, so you know the thing about the plane crash and everyone assuming Kotomi was dead? Well, turns out she wasn’t! She actually ended up in Agnapolis, but suffered amnesia and forgot everything. The king and her eventually fell in love with each other and then they had Cecil (yes, he’s Otoya’s half bro). However, ppl in the island were xenophobic af and hated japanese people, so Kotomi went back to Japan to avoid those weirdos who wanted her away (or dead), but Cesshi stayed bc he’s the heir after all. But his uncles or smth didn’t consider him a true heir bc he’s half-japanese, so they turned him into a cat with a magic spell and sent him back to Japan :/ There he met Haruka and her songs brought him back to human form again :) which means he’s still the heir lol @ his relatives try harder.

Masa - basically his mom was weak on health when he was younger, and he had to take care of everything, including his little sister Mai (she’s cute and he makes stuffed animals to her from time to time as gifts even after becoming an idol). His dad is a bitch on the games OK. That servant that appeared, Jii - everyone who played the games hates him. To represent my feelings on him while playing Repeat, I made this little art piece hope u appreciate:

In the anime Mai pretty much disappeared, but in the games she’s still there, so she’s the reason why Masa is still avoiding his dad and the duty of becoming the heir, because he knows he can’t get disowned, since his sister will be the next in the line and forced to do things bc of that. He loves her a lot, so this is why he doesn’t do it.

Natsuki - If I remember well, he was raised in France until he was 5?? My memory on this is kinda bad. His parents have a farm and this explains why he loves animals so much. His arc was Satsuki, and once he disappeared, everything became a filler (which is very sad, he’s such a good chara;;). Also he and Syo didn’t know each other when they were kids.

Tokiya - Ok so I know many Tokiya stans are super hardcore and know every little thing about him, so if I mess up I’m really sorry ;_; my memory isnt that good ok, but I’ll try my best. Tokiya’s dad never liked the idea of him becoming an idol, and when he decided to continue to go after his dream, his dad left him and his mom. He and Shining knew each other before bc they worked together on something that I forgot rn, while he was HAYATO. Shining noticed that he felt very unhappy and offered him help (and a chocolate cake, which was cute). Tokiya denied until he broke down and admitted that his life was shit, so Shining helped him.

Ren - Tbh his story isn’t much different from the anime and what it said. He’s the 3rd son, feels useless, he and Masa knew each other since they were kids, etc. Oh, and he doesn’t like chocolates. Since he was born on Valentine’s Day, everyone offered him chocolate to the point that he couldn’t stand it anymore, because he felt that he had to eat every chocolate that ppl offered in gratitude lol. He does like bitter chocolate though.

Syo - @ anime when will you quit playing games with us and BRING KAORU TO THE ANIME BYE. Ok so he has a twin brother (mentioned in the anime). What the anime doesn’t mention is that he has a heart condition, and if he gets too excited and stuff, his heart starts to freak out. Doctors didn’t even expect him to survive past 10yo or something. He hated himself for being so weak and short, but seeing Ryuuya on TV motivated him. He started learning how to fight and decided to become an idol to get closer to him. He survived past doctors’ expectations, despite of the odds. Kaoru studies medicine bc he wants to be a doctor and help Syo, and people in the same condition. Kaoru also feels kinda guilty for being healthier and taller despite being the youngest twin. Their father is a stylist in Shining’s Agency, and their mother is an orchestra conductor if I’m not mistaken. His heart condition was healed in Utapri Repeat through a surgery.

Reiji - has sister and mom, and they own a restaurant. Studied at Shining Academy like the members above ^^^. While he was there, he met Aine and 2 other guys, and they became friends. Reiji debuted with one of the friends as his composer, and Aine debuted with the other. They both became idols, but Aine fell in depression over the idol life, feeling lonely and empty, to the point where he tried to commit suicide. His last call was directed to Reiji, but he was busy working and didn’t answer. Aine was never seen again and assumed dead, so Reiji blames himself to this day. Their other 2 friends also blame him. He may look happy and all, but it’s pretty much a facade and he feels bad about it to this day.

Ranmaru - He used to be part of the Rich Kids Club™ with Ren and Masa, but his dad was betrayed and his family became bankrupt. His dad died because of stress, but Ranmaru assumed the debts in his place and worked his ass off to pay it. Since most of the bands he was in disbanded bc of girls, he’s kinda bitchy with females at first. Really likes cats. His hair is dyed and he uses a contact lenses to make one of his eyes to seem purple. 

Ai - Hey, do you remember that Aine story? Turns out Aine didn’t die either! (never trust deaths in Utapri) He was saved from drowning by his uncle, but he got in coma. His uncle, a doctor/scientist, discovered that he refused to wake up because he was scared of the world and scared of feelings/love. His uncle then creates an android (Ai or A.I.) and connected their emotions. This way, Ai could discover more about the world and feelings, and show Aine that the world wasn’t that bad. Their voices and appearance are the same (poor Reiji), but they’re completely different people. Through music, Ai managed to wake up Aine, but freaked out later that he wouldn’t be useful anymore. The uncle/doctor reassured him that he was important and never meant as a replacement. So basically Aine is alive in Ai’s route, but not in Reiji’s route, and we may never even see him bc Broccoli is the best and wasting potential.

Camus - a count just like he loves to say. Serves the Silk Queen and really cares for her. Didn’t really have a childhood bc of training day and night to serve the queen, and his own family is full of his enemies, one trying to take down the other. His horse can be turned into a dog as well (named Alexander). He was sent to spy on Shining and to see if he could find some way to get magic and boost his queen’s magic bc it was almost gone. Cesshi almost married the queen bc.. Well, the queen needed magic and he had the muses, plus those bitches on Agnapolis wanted Cesshi away, so they arranged a marriage, but since Camus managed to get some magic (Haruka’s songs wow), it didn’t happen. He knows about Ranmaru’s past btw, and knows about the whole Shining-Kotomi thing (Silk Quen knows about it too).

THIS ACTUALLY BECAME LONGER THAN EXPECTED OMG IM SORRY but really this is still not everything and there’s a lot more to explore from Utapri and the games/Drama CDs. Hope this helps you anyway!