#bcs there is no impact messing up your aim something something

[copper-skulls]

riding_shotgun.png

once again, please read Hell-Raising by silverskye13. thank you

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

To all the mean/disrespectful rinas in your asks, I have to say this: The only reason why I hate rina is the hate I saw from a part of the rina fandom. Yes, I've seen so much hate coming from that part of the fandom that I can't even watch a rina scene without being annoyed... Josh and Sofia are great actors. I admit that they have chemistry, BUT I can't help but hate to see their characters together on screen bc of all the hateful comments I saw from that fandom (what you got from rinas is nothing compared to what I saw on Twitter, if you don't have Twitter, don't go there, it's terrible... Ppl really tell others to k themselves over a disney ship...). SO, to these mean/disrespectful anons (this includes also portwells or other shippers): stop sending hate (any kind of hate, including making fun of someone's posts or trying to prove a point in an insulting manner) bc that won't convince ppl to ship your ship. It's doing quite the opposite... If you really want to convince someone of sth be nice and don't insult them or the things they like... Actually, you should be nice to ppl in general bc that's common sense... 

hi anon!! thank you so much for this ask!!

it's so sad that there's so much toxic behaviour it has changed the viewing experience for you (and i know from what I've seen, for others too). it goes to show how much of an impact these toxic fans have and how excessive their behaviour is.

and i completely acknowledge that fans of any ship can be toxic--frequently when people point out how toxic r*nas can be, you see some getting upset and saying everyone else is toxic, so I'm not trying to deny that others can be--but it really has been on another level with r*na.

i avoid twitter like the plague but what I've heard and seen about how portwells are treated there scares me. i consider myself lucky that I've never gotten any crazy bullying over portwell; it has mostly fallen in the category of people not being able to mind their own business and live and let others ship differently than them.

this here especially i want to scream from the rooftops:

SO, to these mean/disrespectful anons (this includes also portwells or other shippers): stop sending hate (any kind of hate, including making fun of someone's posts or trying to prove a point in an insulting manner) bc that won't convince ppl to ship your ship. It's doing quite the opposite... If you really want to convince someone of sth be nice and don't insult them or the things they like... Actually, you should be nice to ppl in general bc that's common sense... 

it's sad because it really should be common sense, especially bc we're talking about a disney show aimed at children and people are out here bullying others over liking one pairing over another (pairings that aren't even messed up). that's when I'm like okay they need to step away from the screen for a sec, go outside and touch some grass because nothing is ever that serious and it's a real person they're harming over a fictional show.

also the "trying to prove a point in an insulting manner" thing. this!! i think some people think what they're doing is okay because they're not bullying others. but when you see someone talking about a ship they like and they haven't even done anything to provoke an argument or say something problematic and you feel the need to come into their ask box or comments and start rudely arguing with them, unsolicited, because they like something different/have a different interpretation? how is that good for anyone. like if i see a r*na post and i disagree with the interpretation of something, I'm not going to hop into their inbox and start making rude comments about how they're wrong. I can just think cool. they saw this differently than me. and keep scrolling.

because you're right, anon. the toxic/rude behaviour doesn't make anyone want to ship a couple more and instead does the opposite.

[bottom-slut-unionizer]

When I started studying psychology I kind of hoped that I'd be able to like better understand the world and be able to get why people did the things I didn't like in the name of psychology.

Well... Now that I got a bachelor's Ive learned to:

Hate rich people a LOT mote

Loath the prison system a LOT more

Realized that a lot of people who claim to use psychology use either outdated or just straight up incorrect information to appear right, while also causing damage

Realized how fucking easy it is to mess someone up

THE WORDING AND FORMATTING OF QUESTIONS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT

I seriously hate rich people (specifically the type that hordes money, acts like their easy life is the norm, and thinks that the daily problems most people face are their own fault) more... Like bruh... Wasn't supposed to keep being radicalized but here I am

Having money significantly impacts not just your mental health, but also your literal life by influencing what you have access to. If money was more accessible, people could do so much more. Do note, that at some point people get rich enough that the benefits entirely diminish, so it's not even like it's helping them. If that money went to anyone else it would do SO MUCH GOOD

Seriously like the money thing is huge. If someone's is seriously struggling bc they're having to work so much n barely get by, therapy ain't gonna do a ton. Especially since therapy costs money. Literally, if they had more money a lot of that stress n pain would go away entirely, and in ways that a therapist could never do

If you want to teach something or train something you just need to be consistent n give rewards. Punishment is (generally) bad n rewards are the way to go.

Positive (as in positive reinforcement) just means you're adding something while negative means taking something away. Reinforcement means that what you're doing is intended to make their behavior happen more, while punishment is aimed at getting it to happen less. Some examples: positive punishment (adding a curfew bc your child is skipping class n you don't want me to), positive reinforcement (giving a cookie for good grades n you want them to keep doing it), negative reinforcement (removing their curfew after their grades improve), negative punishment (taking their car keys for crashing the car)

Therapists aren't the only ways that psychology can help people, you can also become a researcher to figure out the things that help people

There is not nearly enough of an understanding of neurodiversity as there should be (this is really what I want to study in grad school. That n creative expression)

You can lie to kids super easily. One of my psychology professors told us that she photoshopped a picture of her kids n her at Disneyland n told them they went (they didn't) n now the kids have memories of rides they never have seen before (please don't abuse this lol)

There are a LOT of people out there who genuinely do NOT try to improve. They remain the same... Even when they could get better. Not everyone is trying to improve, so if you are, you're doing wonderful n keep it up ❤️

Burger king foot fungus

[neo-shitty]

⭐star⭐ : pick your most favorite fic that you want to share and give comments about it !! ♡

roger rabbit - lee minho

i wrote a whole response to this and tumblr white-screened on me. i'm gonna kms /j thank you for sending this in!! also long post ahead bc i never shut up. and tagging @june-again, just in case you're interested on a whole roger rabbit. your feedback for that fic only made me love it more :'( <3

honestly, at this point my fics are either classified into stories i want to keep and stories i wish never existed. this is one of the few that still remain in the 'want to keep' file while everything else i wrote around the same time has fallen into the latter. 

this is a prequel to checkmate (CM), another fic i'm very fond of for the character dynamic and the plot(twists). in the story, skz along with my ocs are in a friend group but there was barely any establishment whatsoever for them. someone who reviewed CM told me that they didn’t really care about my characters and rightfully so bc i felt the story (CM) lacked in giving the reader room to develop what they feel towards the characters. it was supposed to be a long story compressed into the fast-paced piece it was, focusing more on the situation they got themselves into rather than the relationship of the characters. roger rabbit (RR) gave me an opportunity to give the friend group the back story they needed to give CM more impact. and an excuse to write more on this universe i subconsciously latched myself onto.

though i thought of writing a CM prequel, i didn’t expect it to be this one. RR’s original draft got partially trashed though the gist remained: minho gets framed for something and the friend group tries to help him. i got around a quarter into a writing it, with a full bullet-draft of events leading up to the end, but i had a lot of issues with the story. firstly, the reader felt more like a watcher of the events happening rather than someone directly involved. that aspect, for me, eliminates the whole point of the y/n perspective. i mean, of course you can experiment on having a y/n while telling someone else’s story but it wasn’t what i was aiming for in this fic. second, it felt too short and limited. in the end, the original draft turned into a mere chapter in the final story. 

a few factors were responsible for the revamp of this plot. 1) i re-read and rewatched looking for alaska which made me miss teenage mischief and the hard-to-comprehend bond between high school friend groups, 2) playing run by bts on repeat over and over bc it makes the perfect getaway anthem, and 3) reading six of crows and discovering that a multiple-perspective story can be good if done correctly. i think it was a single “i miss the checkmate squad” thought that led into the full draft revamp. i had run on repeat all night and i fell asleep thinking of expanding the original RR plot. how can i make that build up more impactful, how can i make minho worth the save, who wants to save minho, how can i make it fun. 

i remember being in the bathroom and finally coming up with the full plot. the multiple perspective bit was an add on of who can tell the story best while simultaneously giving more depth to minho’s character. i butchered his character in CM and i villainized the shit out of him so i hoped that this could offer a bit of redemption for him. coming up with the six separate perspectives on the guy was difficult but i made it a point to not have all of them lean into fondness towards minho. i felt that slipping in the lack of bias towards minho made the dynamic seem more realistic. minho, afterall, is notorious for messing around hence, the accusations made towards him were more easier to believe than to deny. 

all of RR was just the slow clicking of pieces into place. the title itself was a big boost bc i was stuck on that for quite some time until i remembered the term roger rabbit—rabbit relating to minho to an extent. but of course i couldn’t just title it that without knowing the context behind the term. so i did my research only to find out that the whole of it is “who framed roger rabbit”. highkey the most convenient thing that happened to me. 

bottomline and tldr; it’s a fic i’m very proud of. not just for the plot unlike CM but also for the process, the writing style and finally, the result. i believe that it deserves more than what it got in terms of notes and feedback but no external thing can impact the way i love this fic. 

bonus: the entirety of the checkmate universe aka the in these halls series. working on anything related to it gives me so much comfort and happiness even after all this time. maybe because it’s self indulgent but let’s forget about that :"D

[chokemewanda]

okay okay but what about civilian!r stupidly going into battle for natasha bc she sees the avengers having a hard time on the news. nat and r have been dating for awhile (after your last civilian!r fic) and although r is well aware of nat’s superhero life & has even met many of the avengers, nat has really really tried to keep r separate to protect her. one day there’s some huge battle in new york or wherever they’re located as of now and r is worriedly watching the news. it’s live and she sees all the destruction and how the team is taking hits, and then nat appears on the screen and r watches as she hits the floor and gets attacked & hurt and r literally can’t take it. so she doesn’t think things through like usual, books it into battle, and then is like “oh fuck” bc that’s her life motto. anyways, r manages to save nat’s life by getting injured in the process (ya know the trope, r pushes nat out of the way of a bullet or etc) and then you can pick the ending. happy? sad? make us feel something 😂😭

Natural Disaster pt. 2

Natasha Romanoff x gn!reader

Masterlist

Part One

Warnings: angst, this ask caught me at a bad time, character death

You knew better. You had become an expert at avoiding end of the world situations. Natasha had spent months instilling the skills in you to recognize doomsday before it happened. You hadn’t been in a life ending scenario in months.

She took care of you in ways no one ever had before. She caught the spiders you found in your old apartment, held your hand in the store and had a supply of your favorite candy everywhere you happened to need it.

She memorized your Starbucks order and what takeout you preferred. She spent hours with you decorating the apartment you had gotten together.

She had a room at the compound but you had wanted something shared, away from superheroes who attracted trouble much more than even you.

So she gave in, let you decorate how you liked and smiled every time she caught your eye because she had never had much and now she had all of this and you.

Until she didn’t have you.

She could barely believe her eyes. The Avengers were struggling, struggling bad against some form of alien that had arrived on the scene. They were winning but only just.

One minute Natasha had been back to back with Clint then flying through the air from the impact of whatever kind of gun the damn aliens had. She thought she had passed out when she heard your voice, maybe she had even died and gone to heaven.

It had to be heaven if you were there. She could feel your touch, gripping her arms just a little too tight, your voice rising with panic.

“Relax, we’ve got it under control.” Natasha assured your frantic voice, blinking her eyes open to find you above her while the fight raged on around you both. “You’re here.”

“I saw you go down. I had to do something.” Your hands fluttered uselessly as you tried to figure out how to help her which made her laugh before she frowned.

“You’re actually here.” She pushed herself up with a grunt. “You can’t be here.”

You weren’t listening. You were looking over Natasha’s shoulder and before she could read the look of horror in your eyes you shoved her to the side and took the brunt of the alien that came hurtling at you, long dagger-like claws aiming for your stomach.

And now you weren’t here anymore and Natasha was and it was all a mess.

Natasha didn’t want the stupid apartment with too many pictures of you both smiling. She didn’t want the dumb Black Widow bedspread you had insisted on.

She wanted you but you were gone.

(Tagliato: @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday )

[barnesandco]

Eat the Rich: Chapter 2

Eat the Rich Masterlist

The Avengers are tasked with tracking down an elusive thief, and retrieving the grand amounts of money she has stolen. Even after capture, she turns out to be impossible to break, save for a mystifying interest in Bucky.

Written for @mermaidxatxheart​ ‘s #jamiesmadwritingbash, under the Robin Hood AU prompt.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: mentions of Bucky’s Hydra days, and a short mention of dissociation. Disaster Avengers having breakfast.

A/N: I really really really love that people are saying they like the reader bc that’s the character people envision themselves as when they insert themselves into this kind of fanfic. I hope you enjoy what more we get to see of the reader here. So enjoy, and please continue to reblog and comment -- it makes this so much fun!

I’m not doing taglists, but you can follow and turn on notifications for @ayeshaupdates​​ to be notified when I post.

Divider by the fantastically talented @whimsicalrogers​​!

The dispute that had ensued after Bucky had voiced his wish to Steve had turned to resigned acceptance by the time the first slivers of dawn had started to creep across pristine floors, and Bucky found himself victorious. It's a grim glory that accompanies him down the hall and into the cell you had been moved into for the night. There's no mode of observation for this room, save for the presently closed viewing panel in the door. It's really early, and even though he doubts that you're asleep, given the stressful circumstances, his hand pauses where it's about to knock on the door.

With Steve having left for his run with Sam, and the others asleep or inactive in some way, shape or form, he's alone in the silver hallways of this portion of the Compound. Hand still in the air, tight fist, white knuckles and lip bitten red, and then he composes himself. Stepping away, he sits down on the floor, back against the wall and knees pulled up. 

While he waits, he listens, even if all he can hear is his own heartbeat and the faint, collective chorus of the birds chirping. The sturdy walls and doors between your bed and his floor prevent any speculation on your activities, since the only monitoring permitted is that of vital signs so an alert can be raised if there is danger. He could open the panel, but that might wake you and he doesn't want that. Whether this disruption, and how it is sure to initiate the crucial dialogue he’s here for, is undesired for his sake or yours is unclear. 

His head meets the metal behind him, and the cold stings at his scalp, but Bucky stays that way. Likes the cold bite of it, on occasions such as these, when he needs the ice-crystal clarity of mind, and he knows it'll warm up soon, under his touch. Likes knowing that Hydra doesn't control him all the time, that he can feel the prickle of freezing skin without having a debilitating flashback to cryostasis is indicative of how far he's come. He's no longer the man Steve flew to New Zealand for a month after he had a hellish dissociative episode courtesy of New York's first snowfall.

The metal thaws behind him, sunlight through the thin sliver of window at the top of the wall slides higher on the door. Opalescent solar glare on silver steel, half a rainbow in his exhausted eyes, and the weight of evaporating dew in the air is what precedes a conversation that has his stomach in knots and crosses.

The digital, holographic clock strikes nine above the cell door. 

Rising to his feet, Bucky can feel every single one of his 103 years in his back, the avoirdupois of a century's lamentable events on his weary shoulders. So he does a breathing exercise before he tries the door again.

Allowing his lungs to expand to their full capacity, and then holding that breath there until his alveoli scream, before exhaling in a rush of sweet-cereal scented breath, makes him feel less stone-like. More muscle than metal, soft and pliable and open. Steve would argue that that's perilous, here, in front of a woman who's so touch-and-go, all breakneck smiles, but he's not an Avenger when he enters that room -- he's Bucky Barnes, looking for more pieces of himself, pieces that he'll never find if his eyes are shut tight against the impact.

You answer upon the second knock. "Come in." Your voice lilts to a light taunt, but it’s effect is minimized by the drowsy scratch of your voice. Opening the door after letting it recognize his irises, Bucky thinks that the same can be said about the Christmas-just-came-early spark in your eyes, when they're underlined by dark bags. You're still wearing the green hoodie.

" 'Morning," he says softly, pausing in the doorway. The cell contains a metal chair of the same style as those in the interrogation rooms, and the cot you're sitting up in, back against the wall behind you. There's a small door in one corner that he knows leads to a toilet cubicle.

"To what do I owe this extraordinary pleasure, Mr. Barnes?"

"Bucky," he blurts unthinkingly, and your eyes widen in surprise and amusement. His guard is down, and he needs to be cautious. "And you can thank yourself for being so goddamn persistent and getting on everybody’s nerves."

The smirk brought to your face is aimed at your hands, bound loosely in front of you. A more tender expression than most seen before. The long, fretful night seems to be taking its toll on you. Perhaps you’re slipping. Or perhaps you’re pretending to, his instincts warn. He sighs, clenches his hands into fists, lets his nails dig into his palm. Metal whirs, purrs, and he releases when you move both bound hands towards the chair in front of you. 

Bucky sits down, rubs his palms back and forth over his thighs, lets the grainy feel of the denim under scratch at his hands. "You know me,” he begins.

"Not nearly as well as I'd like,” you say with a grin, looking up from your hands. He glowers. 

"I'm serious."

Your smile widens. "So am I. Come a little closer. I don't bite,” you tease, and he decides to take you up on it. Gets up and sits on the cot a couple of feet away from you, folding one leg up so his foot is under his thigh and keeping the other on the floor. You’re unfazed at having your bluff called. "...Unless you want me to,” you finish, and he ignores it. 

"You kept asking for me while you were being questioned.”

“You were watching? Did you like what you see?”

The temptation to roll his eyes is strong, but he manages to hold it in check, and fixes a strong focus on you. This is important. It’s about his life. “You wanted to talk to me, so here I am. Now let’s talk.”

“Where would you like to start?”

“How about your name?”

“Oh, you’ll have to get to know me a little better if you want me to give up that secret. Try again," you urge, and he huffs. Like drawing blood from a rock. 

Every question he could ask, every query he needs an answer to is being whirled around in the chaotic storm in his head, and it's so difficult to pick out just one. “Have we met?” He decides upon, momentarily forgoing the alternatives: Who are you? Why do I feel like I know you? Why do I feel like you're important? What part of me do you hold in those bound hands of yours?

Head tilted upwards, you consider the ceiling while searching for an answer. “Briefly.” And then you pause. Bite your lip, look down, make a so-so motion with your head. “Well, I wouldn’t say met, exactly. I wreaked some havoc and you watched.” That tells me jack-shit, sweetheart.

“When?”

“February of 2013," you respond instantaneously. Good memory. That's useful. 

“So I was with Hydra," he assumes, instantly going down all the roads he might know you by. A mission, a murder, more violence, another apology. Were you partners in crime, or his target? Or were you just in the way?

“I don’t agree with that phrasing, but yes, I suppose so."

“Did we work together?” He dares to question. 

There's a change: a tangible shift in the atmosphere, like the scent of ozone in the air before a thunderstorm. The stiffening of your posture, how you sit up straighter but hunch your shoulders against some invisible attack tells him he's touching a nerve, nearing cyclone waters. It takes a moment for the mask to fall back into place over your face, before you're able to answer, with venom, repulsed. “God, no. I would never work for them.” It's the most sincere emotion he's heard from you, this disgust. It eases him to know how strongly you feel about Hydra, but he’s wary of your raw response to it.

So, he treads more kindly. Softly. On eggshells sharp and off-white, feeling his way around the balance of your temper. “Then how did we meet?”

“I was on a heist,” you say, matter-of-factly. In your tone of voice, now even and professional, it sounds like the most natural thing in the world. As though stealing from megalomaniac neo-Nazis is just another day at work.

“What kind of heist? Who sent you?” Bucky observes the way you're pulling the edges of your sleeves over your hands as much as you can with your restraints. At this question, your smile returns, and he relaxes. Can now feel his leg falling asleep under him now that he's not so tense.

“Nobody sent me. I’m a free agent. I work for myself,” you announce, chin up. 

“What were you going to steal from Hydra?” He asks, and your head turns slowly towards him, firework sparkle meeting level, cool, sky-blue, a hurricane simmering behind his irises.

“You.”

“We did not sign up for this,” Barton grumbles from his second cup of coffee -- addicts, the lot of them -- adjusting his hearing aid with a frown on his face at the turn of events. 

Sam clears his throat, setting down a half-empty glass of orange juice next to Natasha’s espresso on the table and speaks next, “That’s messed up, man, that’s really, really messed up.” This is said with a shake of his head, and Bucky, having no response to either Barton or Sam, addresses Steve.

“There’s something she’s not telling me, Rogers.” He uses the last name to revert to the days of talking shop in green tents with the gravity of impending shelling in the air. Life or death, and though the circumstances aren’t quite so acute right now, this is a grave matter, too. Steve's standing hunched over the kitchen island, arms outstretched and hands flat on the granite surface, studying the pattern like it holds all the answers. 

Bucky watches him think, but Stark, in Spider-Man PJs and the bed-head of the century, strolls into the kitchen at a leisurely pace and interrupts. “There are a lot of things she’s not telling you. Who she is, where the money is, wh--”

“She’s not telling me why," Bucky interrupts a tirade that he knows could continue forever, given the chance. “People don’t go around stealing super soldier assassins for the hell of it.”

“Maybe she’s working for someone who wanted you to work for them instead of Hydra," Peter suggests over a ridiculously large bowl of ridiculously colorful cereal at the breakfast nook.

“She doesn’t work for anyone. Says she’s a free agent."

“And you believe her?” Sam wonders. It's a genuine question, curious but not dismissive or doubtful. 

“Barnes has quite the built-in lie detector," Nat tells Sam from next to him, her yoga-pant clad legs splayed across another chair. Yeah, he’s good at telling when people are being dishonest, but there’s also the fact this woman is way too fearless, fucking crazy to be made to do anyone's bidding. No chance in Hell does she takes orders. 

Tony slumps in an orange loveseat. “Must be a Russian thing," he quips, and then breaks out into a yawn.

Bucky puts his hands on his hips and glares at all of them, by turn, sharply. "Would you let me finish?" He demands. "She couldn't tell me why she was going to steal me from Hydra, but she said she'd show me." One could hear a pin drop in this room, now, the bustle of Avengers replaced by the obviously preposterous proposition Bucky's relaying. "Just me," he adds.

"Me?" He asks, voice rising in pitch and volume, and he fights to control both, rising to his feet. "Why would you steal me?"

"Have you seen you?" You ask back, eyes scintillating, glowing with mirth. "Gorgeous hair, those eyes, and hands that I'm sure know how to treat a girl right.”

Bucky looks daggers at you, and you look back. "I'm serious."

"I thought you were Bucky,” you say innocently, and he thinks he could scream in frustration, but he drops down, kneels just beside where you sit, and holds onto the edge of the cot like it’s the end of the world he’s falling off of.

"I don't think you understand how important this is to me. You know something about me you won't say. I've been trying to put together my past so I can understand myself better and you have a piece of my history. I need to know,” he enunciates each word as if it’s his last. Needs to convey the severity of the situation, how he has been trying to rebuild himself into a new life from the scraps of the old ones. He’s aware that he’s complete as he is but he also makes choices for himself now, and he chooses to know.

You look down, and although it’s your hands that are bound, you offer a golden prayer. "Let me show you." A lifeline, something he doesn’t want to believe and doesn’t know if he can trust. Hence, the question:

"What?"

A sad shrug of your shoulders is the first answer, and it all starts to unravel from there. "I can't tell you, I really can't. It's complicated and a really long story--"

Bucky elevates himself on his knees, his fingers dig in a little tighter, and the metal of the bed begins to creak ever so slightly. "The way I see it, we have all the time in the world, darlin'," he says in a thick voice, emotion simmering at the corners of his lips.

"Darlin'?" You can’t help but ask, without any flirt this time, any teasing, just a question in a tone as surprised as he is at the slip of tongue.

Bucky decides to ignore the interruption. "So let's start at the beginning.”

Fervently, you shake your head. "I can't." At his wide-eyed disbelief, "I mean it, I can't."

"No, you can, you just won't,” he insists.

"We could have a grammar lesson if you want, or I could show you why I was going to steal the Winter Soldier."

"What do you mean show me?" Bucky asks, moving to sit on the chair again. Leaning forward, he places his hands on his thighs, looks into your eyes to pull forth the words you won’t give him.

You blink, unbudgingly. "I have to take you somewhere. It's the only way to explain."

A sharp bark of a laugh escapes him, and he shakes his head as it recedes into chuckles. Your face is now blank and expressionless, gauging how to handle this, and he gives you the first response that comes to mind. "You're full of shit."

"What happened to darlin' ?"

Meeting your eyes, he says, “You want me to let you out so you can escape. A five-year-old could see through that.” Then, Bucky leans back in his chair, crosses one ankle over the other as well his arms. His hooded gaze is at a stalemate with yours, and it’s a hopeless tug of war. So this is how it ends. A night spent sleepless in vain, a few battle bruises and the tug of disappointment in his belly.

A dismal, and last-ditch sigh ripples through the air, from lips dark and worried bloody. Your eyes look overcast and you open and close your mouth repeatedly to say something, but do not voice your thoughts. Giving you the time to formulate whatever perfect sentence you’re trying to utter is torturous, but he waits. Until you stop, speechless, and he gets to his feet. Turns to the door, and then you speak from behind him, while his hand hovers over the handle.

"Let me take you, and only you, to the place you need to see, and I'll cooperate. I'll give you what I have left of the money, and I'll plead guilty in court and serve my time.” Bucky freezes. "Just come with me,” and you’re the one making requests, making pleas now. It’s inexplicable, he knows he should be looking this particular gift horse in the mouth, and he convinces himself that he will, in time, but right now, he accepts.

"Was that an innuendo?" He asks, still facing away, the question indicating a truce.

"If you want it to be," you say, and he turns around to look at you. "What do you say, Barnes, are we going on a road trip?

Hope swells somewhere in him he thought had been long abandoned for darker days and arduous nights. The same intuition that taught him to ask for this piece of himself tells him something is coming. Something that’s going to make a difference.

"Bucky. It's Bucky. And yeah, I guess we are.”

[your-local-bnha-writer]

Hello ur my favorite account😭! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Noya, Tsuki, & Kageyama where u guys are dating but at a tournament, u run into ur ex boyfriend ( who is a huge douchebag) and is saying a bunch of garbage about u? How would they react? , how would it impact their playing style cause get this- karasuno is playing against ur ex boyfriends team🤭🤭🤭🤭

jealous bfs tanaka, noya, tsukki kags,

hey I’m gonna mash these two requests! I hope you enjoy this was a lot of fun to write!

also favourite account?? me?? 🥺🥺

➣ characters included : tanaka, noya, tsukki, kageyama (separately) x fem!reader

➣ headcannons

➣ warning : a lot of swearing 😳 like there’s a lot, your jerk ex talking crap, scary bfs

ryūnosuke tanaka

- karasuno had made it to the nationals, and right before their game against Tsubakihara, lil ol Tanaka had to use the bathroom

- a horrible decision really, just ask hinata

- he walks in and hears your trash ex talking crap abt you

“Yeah, can you believe it? I saw my ex here, Y/n. I think she’s the manager for her team? Karasuno. Is she really that desperate for attention from other guys?”

- Tanaka is p i s s e d like, no one gets to talk about his precious love without experiencing the wrath from Ryūnosuke Tanaka

- So mans just straight up walks to your ex, “gently” taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and starts defending your honour

“Y/n? Y/n L/n? The most beautiful, gorgeous, precious girl in the world? That Y/n?”

“Uh, yeah? Who are y—”

“Hi I’m the new boyfriend, and let me just tell you...”

- Tanaka goes oFF he’s not letting this douche bag of an ex get his way, he straight up just goes on a 2 hours speech about how perfect you were

- and how much of a douche your ex was

- Eventually, Hinata finds Tanaka in the bathroom (since his stomach was actin up lol) and goes to alert the other guys + you

- So, the whole gang is here, Daichi and Suga have to drAG Tanaka away from your ex while Noya hypes him up

- You have to calm him down and ask him why the hell he was yelling at someone in the bathroom

“Your ex was talking shit about you, I’m not just gonna let them do that”

- You’re immediately like 🥺🥺 Tanakaaaa you didn’t have to do that omg I love you sm

- When it’s finally time play these guys Tanaka is surprisingly calm, like it’s actually terrifying

- Oh and you bet Tanaka’s going all out he is on fire, he’s landing every spike and you can practically hear the impact on it

- Right after he lands a spike he celebrates with his team and stares directly at your ex who’s shooketh 😳

“Yeah take that! You regret breaking up with Y/n now?”

“Tanaka stOoOoP omg—”

- After Karasuno wins he gives you the most passionate kiss, in front of your ex and you pull away blushing

- Your ex just rolls his eyes and goes to pack up with his team while Tanaka’s looking all smug and Noya’s hyPED

yuu nishinoya

- The boys were getting ready for the match against Johzenji, and were just doing some basic warmups

- You had to help Kyoko and Yachi with something so you weren’t in the gym at the moment

- But your asshole of an ex was talking shit about you, very loudly 😳 and very obnoxiously too

- This mf, instead of practicing and doing fricken warmups, he’s talking crap abt you, and you weren’t even in the vicinity!

- But your boyfriend was, oh and he heard everything, every single word that came out of you ex’s mouth

“Pfft yeah she’s still annoying as ever, not surprised she’s dating the dude that’s 5’2”

- Ohh big mistake bud, not only did you insult his perfect Gf, but his height as well? Like dang pick one or the other dude

- So, Noya can’t take it anymore he’s been holding back bc he’s supposed to be warming up for the game but at this point he just couldn’t

- He straight up runs over to the other side of the gym to knock some sense into the jerk

- Tanaka follows not to stop him (although he is a bit worried 😳) but to hype him up bc that’s his best friend’s gf you don’t get to do that

- Asahi is scared shitless so Ennoshita has to keep the horny tornado in check, while Suga is conflicted

“What the hell did you say? Don’t you dare insult Y/n again! This is why she left your sorry ass! Who are you talk shit about my beautiful girlfriend I’ll fight you right now—”

- Ahem well, as you can see he’s very pissed off and uh he ends up getting scolded by coach Ukai

- except at the very end of him scolding he gives noya a few pointers on how to defend your gf without showing bad sportsmanship

- You witness the whole thing and just go up to Noya to calm him down a little

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to go off like that,”

“Yeah I did, Im not letting that douche talk shit about my crazy hot girlfriend”

- noya stop this isn’t the time 😳🥵

- During the game he is extremely focused and there’s this terrifying aura that’s escaping him

- Like Asahi might actually shit his pants just standing next to him

- Karasuno absolutely destroys Johzenji bc Noya is not letting that ball drop on their side of the court

- After the game, like Tanaka Noya straight up kisses you in front of your ex, leaving you a blushing mess as Noya gives him a smug look

kei tsukishima

- aHEM um, alright get ready folks bc this is a scary one

- So it’s Kagugawa vs Karasuno and Yamaguchi is sort of wandering around with Hinata right before the game probably to try and cool their nerves 💀💀

- When they hear your someone talking abt you

“My ex is here we’re vs her team, I know yeah, she’s probably so annoying”

- Dude Yamaguchi and Hinata have never ran faster in their entire lives, they immediately go to tsukki and it’s just a scream fest

“TSUKKI THERES SOMEONE TALKING ABT Y/N!”

“yeAH!! and he was all like ‘she’s probably so annoying’”

“mHM AND—”

“okay I think I got it, where are they?”

- shits about to go down, when Tsukki gets mad, he doesn’t lose is cool, instead he keeps a level head and strategize on how to completely destroy his opponent

- so Yams and Hinata drag him to where your ex was and point him out, and he’s stILL on the phone

“Mhm, yeah she’s super annoying”

- Oh Tsukki is pissed off, he has this intimidating aura coming from him as he approaches the dude that’s shitting on you

“You’re the ex? Yikes...😬”

- Tsukki will wait for what he has to say and the whole time he just has the biggest smirk on his face, like it’s about to go down

- Yams and Sho are hyped uP but they’re waiting behind the door bc they’re babies and they’re scared

- Mm Tsukki does not hold back, he straight up roasts this dudes ass, mans just releases all the salt that’s stored in him

“Mhm yeah, that’s pretty pathetic”

“Heh lame”

“Wow...I can’t believe she really dated you”

- Yeah that’s not that much salt

- Tanaka find the three of them in the bathroom and as much as he wants Tsukki to keep going, they have to get ready for the game

- During the game, your ex tries to spike and he’s instantly shut down my Tsukki and his 6’3 ass, It’s quite hilarious 😌

- Anyways, Tsukki blocks your ex every single time wiTH A SMIRK, mans is not holding back on this bitch

- He says it’s bc he was predictable

- Later, Karasuno beats Kagugawa and Tsukki hardcore glares at your ex like it’s pretty scary since Tsukki is one to act all sassy rather than mad when he gets irritated

“You don’t talk shit about her, ever”

- SUDHDJD DAMN TSUKKI CHILLL

- You watch all of this happen and you immediately ask your boyfriend if something was wrong bc you’re a tad bit worried

“We just had a disagreement that’s all”

“uHH YEAH RIGHT TSUKKI WENT OFF EARLIER IN THE BATHROOM—”

tobio kageyama

- Um another scary bitch please do not talk trash about his gf when he’s around

- He’s probably filing his nails away from his team bc he needs his peace and quiet and doesn’t wanna get bullied by Hinata and Tsukki

- When he hears a guy talking very loudly to his friend, now usually he’d ignore them or move spots but like this dude is talking abt you

- So, he stays for a bit and listens to what he has to say. Who even is this dude? Why does he know you? Why is talking to loud like please shut the f—

“Pfft yeah my ex is here with her volleyball team, I talked to her earlier and oh my god she’s exactly the same when I first dated her”

- I’m not sure if that’s a roast sorry I’m bad at these

- Oh now Kags is pissed, see he was already a little irked that this jerk was your ex but he was also talking trash abt you? Nahh

- He throws his nail file on the ground and stomps right up to this douche to smack some sense in him

“Yeah she’s hella annoy—”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

“Who tf—”

- So Kageyama is also unusually “calm” about the whole situation which makes it even more terrifying

- Kageyama will most likely go off and tell this dude that he has no business talking abt his gf like that

- he’ll focus more on dissing the dude and let me tell you this dude’s roasts h u r t

- like his insults are like 90% swear words

“goblin lookin ass”

“long titty no nipple lookin ass”

“get outta here you abominable fuck waffle”

- Imagine this scary ass dude coming up to you, telling you to shut the fuck up, then realizing this is Tobio Kageyama, The King of the Court, the incredible setter that has precise aim, the 2nd half of the freak duo, going off on how you should stfu abt his gf

- oh and you’re facing him on your next game

- and he absolutely obliterates your sorry ass

- his sets are perfect, he blocks every single fuckin spike you make, and when you think he’s going setting to #10 think again bc he will do a setter dump

- basically he’s on fire and tear the other team to shreds it’s kind of scary actually, hinata was sweating buckets when kageyama served since he looked so terrifying at the moment

- after the game, kageyama would want to leave immediately he doesn’t want to see your ex anymore

“You doing okie? Did something happen with you and him before the game?”

“Yep, but it’s nothing don’t worry about it��

- kags you have that creepy smile again stop you’re scaring y/n

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

******************************

for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind. 

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again. 

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom. 

  “where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood. 

  “you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one. 

  “i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment. 

  “you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules. 

  “i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

  “fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you. 

  “alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off. 

  “sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement. 

  “what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you. 

  “not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

  “her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message. 

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket. 

------------------------------

  “any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

  “oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been. 

  “i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

  “stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath. 

  “whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined. 

  “alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

  “get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg. 

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

------------------------------

  “cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked. 

  “it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

  “oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation. 

  “as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.” 

  “dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food. 

  “so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 

  “george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked. 

  “t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious. 

  “we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

  “sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal. 

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be. 

  “wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

  “well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered. 

  “does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled. 

  “you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

  “she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.” 

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break. 

  “she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll. 

  “and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam. 

  “wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another. 

  “this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking. 

  “f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested. 

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day. 

******************************

i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[meyhew]

oh seed sorry to bother you but im spiraling bc im studying for the lsat and trying to get into law school but also i want to be a teacher sooooo bad???? but like the public school system is so messed up and i worked in a classroom for a quarter and it was honestly so discouraging seeing how helpless teachers, like yeah they can make such a huge impact on students but also they're stuck and limited in how much they can do bc of funding and resources and stuff (1/4)

and i feel like i can do so much more as a lawyer and like make an actual concrete impact on the systems in the US and work on education reform or as an immigration lawyer or SOMETHING that can set precedence and make me feel like im doing enough to make some sort of difference. And like i was privileged enough to go to one of the best universities in this country and like i feel like i should use the name and the connections to do something major and idk man (2/4)

its like i know i would have so much fun being a teacher bc i love early childhood education and working with kids and like im SO GOOD AT IT like i know that sounds like im so full of myself but like everyone i've told that im aiming for law school who has seen me work with kids has been so disappointed, like i know i could do so much as a teacher but im so scared im gonna wind up another worn down teacher frustrated with the system and regretting not putting my energy towards fixing it (3/4)

& also i dont want to be poor the rest of my life. I want to be able to go on vacations & treat my sisters to the things they deserve, pay off my parents' house & shit. my parents have sacrificed so much for the sake of my future & idk i guess i have this first gen/low income guilt of wasting the opportunities ive been privileged with. i know teaching would NOT be a waste but knowing what i could be making and what i could do as a lawyer just makes everything so much harder to figure out (4/4)

hi! i contemplated whether to post all of this or just answer in tags, but i figured someone else might have something more useful to say than me. 

a piece of really great advice i once stumbled upon said that whatever your dream job is, you should never go for it. chase after the thing that’s second or third on your list of passions and keep the first one just that — a passion. you don’t want it to burn you out mentally. after a ton of indecision i’m also seriously considering going to law school simply because it’s something that i know i’ll be passionate about, but also the financial security that comes with the profession. i completely understand why ur conflicted, but teaching is something you could always do in some manner while also being a lawyer — in an ideal world. maybe not a fulltime teacher for the little ones, but there are a lot of ways to teach. and the first gen/low income guilt... oh man i feel you. i’ve wanted to go into the psych field for so long but realistically in the long run it just won’t live up to my parents’ expectations after everything they’ve done so its like :/ i get you. wishing you all the luck in figuring it out tho it’s a tough decision ✨🌻

[beachbabywrites]

Dynamic Duo // A Kara Danvers imagine

Valentine’s Request 18/?

REQUEST: Kara Danvers + Enemies to Lovers + candy heart

A/N: So I’ve come to realize I cannot write enemies to lovers fics for Kara, it’s just impossible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I twisted it around a bit. In this fic, the media is doing everything in their power to pit Supergirl and Phoenix (Aka the reader bc I cannot come up with imaginary superhero names for the life of me) against each other even though the two have never publicly associated or worked together. Unbeknownst to the public, Supergirl and Phoenix are in a happy and healthy relationship. This takes place somewhere in the season one/early season two timeline

"Supergirl declares, 'National City only needs ONE HERO!"

"The REAL reason you'll never see Supergirl and Phoenix working together."

"Supergirl threatens to reveal Phoenix's true identity; Phoenix says "stand down!"

"Source says Phoenix will destroy National City before going to Supergirl's aid."

Of course, the headlines were the first thing you saw this morning, they were hard to miss with street vendors yelling at passing crowds trying to sell a copy of the latest gossip magazine. You scoffed, trying not to laugh in the man's face as he pushed the paper towards you. You could tell him then and there just how wrong those sources were but he wouldn't believe you. Why would he? You're no one special to National City. You're just (Y/N) (Y/L/N). So instead of initiating an argument on the sidewalk you went on to work and prayed you made it to your desk before your boss showed up.

You were staring at the clock, counting down the minutes till your lunch break. 15... 14... You answered an email about scheduling your bosses next meeting with the CEO, then answered a personal email regarding dinner plans.

12... Someone's phone rang, you began putting your things in your purse so you could sneak out early. You could hear the car horns outside in the lunch hour rush. You looked up as your coworker approached your desk and handed you a file. She apologized for laying it on you right before lunch, but it was due by 5 tonight. Inside was the research for yet another gossip segment on Supergirl and Phoenix's feud.

9... You agreed happily when your coworker asked if you wanted to grab lunch with her before she left to pick her kids up from school.

Much like every other devastating event that happened in National City, this one happened without warning.

When the first crash was heard, you dropped to your knees on the carpeted floor like everyone had been instructed to do in the past. Glass shattered, you could hear the screeching of breaks and mangled metal. The people on your floor screamed as the windows imploded, sending glass flying across the floor. Two more explosions quickly followed the first one, each one shaking the building more violently than the last.

You stood up slowly after some time had passed after the last blast, looking around the floor at your coworkers. All were fine, nothing too serious, maybe a couple cuts that would need stitches. You placed a hand on the shoulder of the woman who was trying to call her children at school.

"Phone lines are down." Someone hollered across the room and slammed the landline down. "Was it a gas line?"

"Surely not that strong!" Another voice answered.

The power went out and another round of screams pierced the air.

"Go! To the stairwell, come on." You urged them along. You rushed to the window to see what was going on outside when shouts of 'Supergirl!' caught your attention.

"Kara!" You whispered out loud, amazement and terror-striking your heart as she flew through the sky straight towards the pillar of smoke rising just a few blocks away.

"Come on!" Someone shouted behind you so you turned and made your way down the stairs.

You followed the crowd away from the shaky buildings and chaos, helping those who needed it but listening closely to the battle that was happening behind you.

You heard the first cry as you were helping a child find her mother. Kara was in distress but you couldn't just leave these people. You knew she could handle her self, besides you had a bigger responsibility at the time. You couldn't help the small part of you wondered what if?

Within a matter of minutes, dozens of buildings were evacuated, barricades set up to prevent any civilians from running into the mess. Smoke still darkened the sky and burned at your nose. It sounded like the worst of the fight was over, you could hear Kara yelling over the noise, but you couldn't hear a second voice.

Oh great, you sighed to yourself. She's monologuing.

You helped the volunteers passing out shock blankets to those who were injured or just scared, EMTs were rushing around the area. Someone mentioned the museum was in the same area Supergirl and the unnamed villain were fighting. The crowd wondered if there was something in there worth the fight. A man claimed it was Phoenix.

"I saw her with my own eyes, Supergirl tackled her out of the air as the building exploded!"

Everyone saw something different, no one could agree on who it was that Supergirl had encountered. With every yell from Kara's mouth, you became more anxious. More theories began to spread across the street, cops and reporters whispering Kryptonite and 'alien', despite your racing heart and clenched jaw you reminded yourself just how strong she had proven herself to be in the past.

Kara had taken on prisoners from Fort Rozz, she stopped a falling plane, Live Wire and the Red Tornado, the latter was designed specifically to upgrade its fighting skills based on its spars with Supergirl, to use her strongest moves and patterns against her, and these were only in the first couple of months of taking on the hero role. Kara was called super for a reason.

You could hear Alex and her team mobilizing and preparing to rush in as Kara landed the final blows. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, the screen lit up with Alex's name and number and a text asking where you were.

"I'm safe. Is Kara?" The little bubbles on the screen told you Alex was typing and erasing, typing and erasing for what felt like ten minutes before she finally sent back "Kara is safe." But at this point, Kara didn't sound safe.

A menacing voice was taunting her, telling her if she stayed down, if she gave up he would spare the block of her choice. The longer you sat on the stairs to the bank with the unaware crowd the more your muscles ached with an electric need to step in and help, every nerve running up your spine tingling. When you heard a cop whisper to his partner in a broken and panicked voice 'she's losing' you couldn't stay still any longer.

You hopped up, the metallic blanket falling to the steps as you turned and raced the opposite direction, away from Supergirl and the fight.

The dust didn't have time to settle before the alien that had Kara trapped on the ground was turning on you, giving the blonde a chance to jump to her feet.

"Just how many of your kind are on this planet Kara Zor-El?" The alien asked the laughter in his voice was infuriating as you realized just how worn out Kara looked. She stared at you wide-eyed, taking in the red and yellow you were wearing, a hint of pride in her slight smile. "Two Kryptonian heads will be more than enough to atone for the crimes your people have committed against my home."

"I'm not Kryptonian. I will not allow you to commit the same crimes you allege against the Kryptonians to my own people." You countered, hands already burning.

"Phoenix!" Kara shouted, "distract him!" You sent her a glance as she dashed away but did as she asked.

This alien was highly skilled at hand to hand, their punches fast and aiming at all of your weakest points. Face, throat, face, stomach, stomach, face, throat. You were beginning to notice a pattern to his moves and as you stepped to the side in anticipation of his next move, ready to make your own, he took you by surprise with a right hook to the face. You stumbled back before regaining your balance,  a coppery taste on your tongue.

You could see Kara picking up something from the farthest edge of the street, he was preparing to turn his back on you to attack her once again, so you ran at the invader. When your bodies collided the impact knocked both of you back. The force of it knocked the breath out of your body. You forced yourself up, staggering slightly as you put distance between you and the seven foot alien on the ground.

Supergirl was behind him as he stood. He snarled at you in a foreign language before lurching forward. Supergirl grabbed him by the shoulder, pushed him so he was now facing her. She landed punches in quick succession; One, two, three, his fist made loud contact with her face.  Kara glanced over her shoulder and you knew she had a plan. Your heel connected with the aliens back, he fell to his knees.

"Move!" Kara bellowed and before you had much time to do anything, a second blast rang throughout the area, throwing you onto your back once again. As you sat up, dizzied and sore, you noticed the DEO agents rushing in, guns raised and shouting orders at the criminal.

Supergirl rushed up to you, arms extended to help you up.

"I'm okay." You assured her for the third time before she finally quit asking and stepped back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm not the one who was just electrocuted." You rolled your eyes but smiled at her. "Wow, we really are a dynamic duo! We should do this more often... Besides the whole- Yeah." Kara stammered out, cheeks bright pink and eyes bright from the thrill of the fight.

You threw your arms around her and whispered, "you scared me Supergirl." Kara quickly wrapped her arms around you tightly. Exhaustion flooded your body and senses. "I've never seen you in action like that." You told her. "You're kinda hot Supergirl."

"Oh, oh geez." Kara laughed nervously and shook her head. "Noo... I'm a- I'm a mess."

You pressed your lips to her's quick, forgetting where and who you were for a moment. You could have stayed there with her like that for hours if it weren't for the sounds of shutters clicking and reporters shouting. Kara jumped back from you, eyes wide as she scanned the crowd, only relaxing when she saw Jimmy was front and center with his camera.

"Our secret is out." She whispered. A moment of panic fell over the two of you as reality set in. "We'll be okay." She decided, not quite sure if she was assuring you or herself.

"You know, someone said I was the one attacking the city." You told her as she watched her sister's team drag the alien away in Kryptonite handcuffs.

"That's funny because, on my way over, I heard that I was the one blowing an entrance into the side of the museum to lure you out of hiding for a final smackdown." Kara jumped back, playfully lifting her fists in a mock spar.

"It worked, I guess." You answered throwing a hand up to block a punch.

The next morning on the way to work the headlines read very differently than they had just the day before, a picture of Supergirl and Phoenix hugging was splashed across the front of each magazine and newspaper.

"SUPER-TRUCE? A timeline of the SvP feud"

"Supergirl retiring? Source says 'She's ready to settle down!"

"The 'dynamic duo' we didn't know we were waiting for"

Your eyes lingered on the last title, the picture of Supergirl's hand resting on Phoenix's back. As you picked up the magazine, you recognized the logo across the top and laughed.

"How much for the CATCO, sir?" You asked reaching for your purse.

[sol1056]

a bunch more asks waiting their turns so politely

These are all various asks about the likelihood of a remake, a rewritten season, or a spinoff. 

1 could we get an alternate version 2 is a rewrite for S8 a viable option 3 would they change the ending for a spin-off 4 are single-episode edits possible for S8 5 will S7 reactions affect S8 6 how will DW get us to watch S8

Behind the cut.

With the shitstorm that vld became, would dreamworks ever take pity on us and remake some seasons of voltron that turned out like crap, or not even air, just release them as alternate versions on dvd? Im questioning the possibilities, not the probabilities, bc Im really not optimistic about that, I just wanna know if a show can do that and what would it take for the company to snap their fingers and be like "lets do it" (besides having money)

It’s not like frequent reboots don’t have precedent in other franchises; hell, comics do it on the regular. It’s also much cheaper to do a series of graphic novels or full novelizations geared towards an older audience. The problem there is that Dreamworks isn’t a comic book company or a publishing house; that part of the franchise would have to be farmed out to someone else. 

My guess --- if another remake is ever a possible option --- it’d be several years down the road. The first version would be set aside as, say, the Y-7 version for kids and family, and then you’d find a new angle for the next version. 

If DW got the impression there was a massive older crowd (say, 25-45) who would’ve eaten up a more mature, somewhat darker, version? Sure, why not try to grab that audience? I mean, look at the Castlevania series: it’s not pulling any punches on making clear it’s for adults. That would also require a different business model, since what adults like to buy for themselves is very different than what kids want. Skip the cake toppers, for starters. 

do you think given the reaction to VLD S7, is a rewrite for S8 a viable option? I feel the fandom is divided about the general reaction to S7. If JDS and M can just [focus on the fanbase segment] that liked it, why [bother trying to fix it for those] that didn't?

Given what I’ve been seeing in terms of data from the season... I think they aimed to please everyone and ended up pleasing no one. 

Pretty sure I’ve said something to this extent before: when you can’t please everyone, the answer isn’t to split the difference and piss everyone off. The answer is to pick your audience and give them the best damn story you can. The rest will sort itself out.

Let me put it this way: there are enough people who didn’t like S7 for the crummy animation, the OOC dialogue and actions, and the nonsensical storyline overloaded with a host of new characters that stole time from the actual protagonists. And there are also enough people who didn’t like S7 for queerbaiting the audience, killing off three out of four queer characters, and sidelining the one remaining queer character. There may be some overlap between those two sets, but taken together, those two sets are pretty much the dominant majority of the fan base. 

I don’t know if that makes a rewrite a viable option, but it should be making a few execs think twice about letting the EPs/staff carry on in the same direction. I mean, you want a series to end on a high note, not an ‘omg that had such potential but boy did it self-destruct in the last two seasons’ note.  

So if DW wants to do a Voltron spin-off, would they consider changing the ending to VLD to give Shiro the things he earned so this spin-off wouldn't be dead out of the water?

That would depend entirely on whether they’ve gotten the message that Shiro’s current status isn’t good enough for a significant part of the fanbase. If all they’re hearing (or all they choose to hear) is that it’s great to sideline one of their protagonists with no in-story explanation whatsoever, what’s to tell them there’s anything that needs addressing?  

Additionally, if the entirety of the issue is Shiro --- and everyone else is just fine, thanks --- I’m not sure that’d rate as enough to warrant changing so much. More likely any spin-off would start some X length of time between, and we’d get an implied intermediary backstory (or even a mild retcon), and go from there. 

Truth is, whomever gets the spin-off will (I really hope) be a better writer and not have to deal with intrusive newbie EPs. Even then, they’d be kinda limited on what they could do, given the spin-off does need to make sense placed against the first series. Then again, VLD hasn’t respected its own premise or continuity for the past few seasons, anyway. 

So I guess there’s always the option to start with an episode that retells VLD’s ending... Kinda awkward, but not unheard of, to basically retcon a previous series out of existence.  

I have no doubt DW is looking into what went wrong with this season. I know it might be a little to late to fix all of Season 8, but do you think they would have at least maybe the last few episodes changed to give a better ending to the show - or at least more respect to Shiro as a character?

Normally I’d say no. I mean, episode 1 should have characters making choices that in turn impact episode 2, and those choices prompt the events in episode 3... but that’s a logic VLD threw out the window somewhere between S3 and S4, and it’s only gotten worse since then. 

In which case, oh sure, why not? It wouldn’t make any less sense than what they’ve already got planned, if S7 is any indication. 

Could the reaction to season 7 cause any change the execs minds going into season 8? 

One problem: this is a Dreamworks production, but it’s not a DW-owned story. It’s a franchise: there are other players involved. There are the two guys who first butchered GoLion into Voltron, Toei whose story got that embutcherment, Netflix as the distributor, along with Playmates and Lion Forge and other contracted partners. There’s a lot more people at the table than just DW. 

It’s one thing for the EPs to say they messed up, and apologize. It’s quite another for Dreamworks to admit publicly their lousy (or nonexistent) oversight allowed the situation to happen. 

Legal would have apoplexy, for starters. What wins you a franchise is often showing you have the confidence (if not sheer chutzpah) that you can do this job justice like no other. And then you hit S7 and must admit you hired people who made a complete hash of it? 

If there’s anything that will cost the EPs any future roles of a similar position, it’s that they’ve put DW in a very uncomfortable position. Caught between a furious fanbase and overly-interested co-owners, someone --- or several someones --- are treading very lightly right now. They’re not going to forget the EPs are the ones who precipitated the whole mess. 

I think we are in a unique situation where the fact that the EPs were vocal about [changing] VLD ... could be a blessing for us & DW. [But we know it] was changed, & DW's part seems to be more negligence than direct fault like the EPs. So DW can drop it or fix it, and a rewrite would be worth us sticking around, while restoring DW's name.

Again, that depends on whether DW is in a position that they can do so. I assure you they’d throw the EPs under the bus at the first opportunity, because that’s how the corporate world works. So their failure to do so is either because they don’t see the EPs’ actions as untenable (as far as we know), or because doing so would expose DW corporate to greater retaliation from elsewhere. (It could also be part of the agreement that these particular EPs are in place for the duration of the series’ production, too. Sometimes that happens.) 

I still can’t get over the fact that the EPs were so blunt about having already had a script fully written when they asked to revise. From the Studio Mir leaks, we can guess at least some of the animation was already in production at least a year ago, or earlier. That’s a lot to redo. 

Here’s something that only just occurred to me, when I listed the co-partners in this franchise: the Koplar brothers. These are the geniuses who figured they didn’t need to know Japanese to make GoLion into an american production; turns out they were geniuses on some level ‘cause it was a hit, anyway. They went on to produce Voltron: Fleet of Doom (1986), Voltron: the Third Dimension (1998), and Voltron Force (2011). If there is anyone at the table who’d be likely to have nostalgia goggles, it’d be the Koplars. This has been their ongoing story in one way or another for over 30 years. 

Originally, the EPs said they weren’t tied to nostalgia; they weren’t going to redo the story as it was, but the story as they remembered. (I’d argue this actually indicates a stronger set of nostalgia goggles, but eh.) Their determination to get rid of Shiro has always felt like nostalgia goggles to me. Perhaps the Koplars were the greatest supporters of Keith as BP --- since that would respect the pattern they’ve followed, over and over, in all the iterations. 

Considering the Koplar’s somewhat litigious background over Voltron ownership, they may’ve had the ability to overrule. So... if you want to bench Shiro, you pitch your work with the execs who are most likely to agree with you. And if you can do that in the window between the previous VP of TV retiring and a brand-new external hire coming on as VP... welp, you got permission, and the new VP may’ve signed off, not realizing the impact. 

Which would put DW over a barrel, in some ways. If DW could’ve overruled their partners, the EPs never would’ve been able to make that end-run in the first place. 

How do u think DW will try to get us to watch s8? They & the EPs have shattered our trust and the show is so messy its almost unsalvageable. 

Stay to see X point's resolution? Yeah, we stayed many seasons for nothing, next. 

We have more rep? Ex. blonde girl is autistic... So we should be scared for her too??? 

There's more queer rep? Yeah, we heard that one already. 

Unless everyone responsible is fired and a new crew runs the next seasons?

I don’t know. I would hope the answer is ‘by giving us a story that makes sense, and creates closure for all the protagonists, and not just by making two of them emotional rewards for two other characters.’ 

At this point, there is only one thing that’s going to make Dreamworks change course: if the fallout from VLD impacts its other projects. If the majority of the VLD fanbase up and announced it would be boycotting She-Ra or Fast & Furious or Trollhunters on the grounds that DW screwed up so badly with VLD that it cannot be trusted... Then you’d see movement. If the PR got so bad from so many upset and angry VLD fans that major news outlets paid attention and started writing articles about the situation, that would also put a black mark beside Dreamworks’ name -- and then you’d see movement. 

With the VLD toys a failure (for whatever mismanaged reasons) and a financial model set entirely on toys, fixing VLD now would be throwing good money after bad. Unless, of course, there’s an impact beyond just this single series. 

Until Dreamworks can see the impact in some concrete sense, they have far more to lose from their partners than they have to gain from their fanbase. It’s just how it is, with corporations in late capitalism. 

You want to make an impact? You tell Dreamworks ahead of time, and then you follow through: pick a week and go silent. Nothing about VLD, here or on twitter or anywhere else. No reblogs on She-Ra updates. Ignore the podcasts. Don’t click on the articles. That stuff’ll be there when the week is over, after all. Show DW what it’s like when a fanbase checks out, by doing it. It’s a short-term boycott, but the reason groups do boycotts is because they work. 

[pridemonthpsa]

Fetishism of Queer Men Pervades the Shadowhunters Fandom

Alright, I’ve been asked to do a piece about the fetishization of mlm in fandom. This is something that makes me very uncomfortable as I navigate most fandoms, but it’s on a whole other scale in the shadowhunters fandom.

I’m going to try and make this as inclusive of non binary people as I can, but of course, there’s nuance here. I want to emphasise that. This issue isn’t simply mlm vs women. I guess as beautiful enbies, I’ll leave it to you to decide where you fall in this issue.

While it is certainly possible for mlm themselves to engage in fetishizing behaviour, this often comes from internalised homophobia and it is NOT the place of non mlm to call them out on it. I want to make that clear.  Following on from this, if an mlm makes you (a non mlm) uncomfortable with the way he talks about his own sexuality, then… Do I need to finish that sentence? 

So, to make it clear: if cishet women (or men, though that’s less likely) engage in ANY of the behaviour I’m going to describe, then they are a mlm fetishist and should not be considered a good ally or be supported in fanart, fanfic, or discourse about mlm relationships. If a queer woman/enby engages in this behaviour, it can be hard to figure out what the deal is. Lots of queer women/enbies in this fandom engage with Malec as representation for them as well, since they are the only canon MAIN queer couple in the show. And that is TOTALLY valid. But sometimes, queer women/enbies can overstep too. My rule is if an mlm feels uncomfortable about the way you as a queer woman/enby talk about or interact with Malec, then you need to evaluate what you’re doing.

The main issue with the fetishization of mlm in fandom is that actual mlm involved in these fandoms are ignored, their voices aren’t boosted, and their fanworks are paid dust while cishet women are glorified for their ‘ally’ voices and fanworks. To illustrate just how much mlm get spoken over in fandoms, get this: I literally googled ‘fetishization of mlm’ to research stuff for this thread and the first thing that came up was a thinkpiece by a cishet woman. https://www.themarysue.com/fetishizing-slash/ Now, the article is pretty inoffensive as far as articles on mlm fetishization go, but why on EARTH is the most viewed article on fetishization of mlm written by a cishet woman? Don’t you find that interesting? Why is it that even when talking about an issue where we are objectified and cishet women are the objectifiers, cishet women’s voices are the ones overwhelmingly boosted? The truth is that REAL mlm aren’t wanted or desired in fandom, because the only thing mlm are needed for in fandom is to provide a cute otp that non mlm can project their sexual and romantic fantasies onto. Real mlm are more complex than a cute otp, so we are eschewed. 

So other instances/examples of fetishization? One of the classics that makes my blood boil, personally, is the way that non mlm write PWP about mlm couples. I thought about looking for an example, but I couldn’t bring myself to look through AO3 tags. But we’ve all come across those fics where two men in an established relationship flirt for 200 words and start stripping (in the sh fandom, helpfully hastened by Magnus’ magic). In these fics, the ‘top’ (more on that later) will either not prepare the ‘bottom’, or they’ll stick two fingers up there with one coat of lube, magically find the prostate and reduce the ‘bottom’ to a whining mess. Always a whining mess. After a couple of lines of prep (max), the ‘top’ will stick his dick in the ‘bottom’ and wait for a moment, then start fucking the absolute shit out of his ‘bottom’. Now, anyone who’s EVER had anal sex, no matter the gender, will tell you that this is not generally how anal sex goes. So why is this the way cishet women write about m/m sex? The simple reason is because these cishet women are projecting themselves into the position of the ‘bottom’. Vaginal sex, as I hope we know, is practically a lot easier than anal sex. By oversimplifying and straightwashing (for lack of a better term) anal sex, they’re assisting their female readers in their fantasies of being under this queer male top. This particular quote from this article - https://www.lambdaliterary.org/features/oped/08/19/the-fetishizing-of-queer-sexuality-a-response/ - struck me: “The edict for writing has always been: Write what you know. Alas, that is what the M/M writers are doing–they are writing straight male/female relationships but putting them in gay male bodies.” These fanfictions are not meant to celebrate queer men, they are not aimed at queer men, and they aren’t concerned with the reality of queer men. Instead they’re projecting themselves into the more desirable (internalised misogyny, much?) queer men’s bodies. This is similar to the way most mainstream ‘lesbian porn’ is aimed at cishet men. These videos show a version of sex between women that is palatable and ‘sexy’ for the male gaze, and these PWPs written by cishet women work the same way. I wish I didn’t have to point out why that’s harmful, but honestly… The shit I’ve seen in these fandoms I feel like I need to spell it out. Treating mlm as props for you, a non mlm, to get off to, is dehumanising and disrespectful. It is not allyship. It is not flattering. Stop it. Now I know that the sexuality of women, and teenage girls specifically, is judged and policed. I understand that. However, the oppression you face is not an excuse to throw another oppressed group under the bus for your amusement and titillation. That’s it. I said what I said. This article - https://versusthefans.com/2014/07/08/fetishizing-homosexuality/ - goes a little deeper into this issue, but here’s a quote that I thought summed it up: “While I certainly understand being thought of as weird, being scared or worried as [...] she feels about shipping Johnlock, for LGBT people they aren’t just scared because of who they ship, but who they love in real life. At the end of the day, [...] straight women [...] will legally marry a man anywhere in the world she wants and get off while dreaming of gay men together.  Must be nice to have your cake and eat it too. It’s not fiction for LGBT people.”

The second classic part of mlm fetishization in fandom is top and bottom discourse. There are a few issues conflated in this facet of fetishization. Firstly, being a ‘top’ or a ‘bottom’ is not generally a thing. The overwhelming majority of queer men do not strictly adhere to either the ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ position in the bedroom. Some of us joke about being one or the other, but it is not a law that we ALWAYS must bottom or ALWAYS must top. Sometimes you fancy something different. It’s human nature. We’re not one stereotype or the other. Ever. To assume as such is to reduce an entire human being to a sex position, just because they’re queer. Does that sound like good allyship to you?

Next, the very fact that people are so invested in whether a fictional character (or, god forbid, a real person, but again, more on that later) is a ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ is creepy and bizarre. Do you also debate on whether the female lead in your show prefers doggy or the reverse cowgirl? No? Then why do you, a non mlm, spend so much time and energy ‘headcanoning’ the ways m/m couples in fiction have sex? Is it because it’s somehow ‘hotter’ than m/f sex because it’s two men? Why is that? Take a look at your feelings here. Ask yourself why you find the idea of two men having sex so interesting. Is it because you’re only attracted to men, so it’s double the fun? Is it because two men banging is ‘taboo’ or ‘sinful’ or ‘naughty’? Is it because taking it up the ass is not a ‘manly’ thing to do, and is therefore inherently kinky? Unpack these things. Think critically. If it is any of the above things, then address it, because it’s wrong. Once again, queer men are not props for you to manipulate for your enjoyment. One mlm I found on tumblr here - http://bluethisisforyou.tumblr.com/post/162753965120 - had this to say on the issue: “[it] is NOT healthy at all bc, in my case, it makes us feel as if we only exist for entertainment and that our relationships are seen as wrong and/or dirty”. Do you intend to make mlm feel that way? If yes, then… Bruh, what the fuck are you do pretending to give a shit about mlm in the first place? If no… Maybe adjust your behaviours accordingly.

Because apparently it’s necessary, I’m going to lay out some facts for you, here. Taller man =/= top. Stronger man =/= top. Leader =/= top. Masculine man =/= top. Shorter man =/= bottom. Weaker man =/= bottom. Follower =/= bottom. Effeminate man =/= bottom. Everyone needs to stop using physical and personality traits to ‘argue their case’ as to whether a queer man is a top or a bottom. These things do NOT impact what kind of sex you like. To imply as such is homophobic and, frankly, misogynistic as well. By painting a more effeminate, smaller, weaker man as the bottom in these scenarios, you are implying that bottoming, and therefore submitting/yielding to ‘masculine’ penetration, is feminine and a sign of weakness. Having said that, you are not more progressive if you make the effeminate man the top for brownie points or because it’s ‘hot’ that the smaller one can weaken the larger one. It’s still creepy and rooted in harmful stereotypes. In the context of the shadowhunters fandom (that this essay is mostly aimed at), both Magnus and Alec are tall, strapping, formidable men who are powerful and badass, and yet in almost every fanwork by a cishet woman, one of them will always be shrunk or feminised. And on the rare occasions where they aren’t, the emphasis will be on the fact that the power struggle between them is hot. And people wonder why I have the vast majority of fanartists blocked.

The last thing I want to talk about as a symptom of mlm fetishization is RPF, or ‘real person shipping’. There are ALWAYS, ALWAYS people in a tv show or movie fandom where they’ll ship the actors who play queer (or perceived queer) characters. It happened with Darren Criss and Chris Colfer after they played Klaine in Glee, it happened with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman after they played Johnlock in Sherlock, it happened with Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins after they played Destiel in Supernatural. In every single instance except Chris Colfer, these actors have had female partners. I’m not going to say all of them are straight, because I don’t know their lives, and I don’t care about most of them enough to research, but all of them (except Colfer) is attracted to women. Most of them have expressed discomfort at the fact that they are ‘shipped’ with their co-star and friend. And yet so many people continue to write fanfiction about them and even harass their ACTUAL partners about a ship that only came about because of their acting jobs. The most confusing thing about this is that there are quite a few m/m couples in the spotlight these days that don’t get nearly as much attention from the RPF shippers. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black, Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham all are openly in love, posting adorable snapshots of their lives together, and yet… Somehow, for these RPF shippers, that’s not good enough. It’s only good enough if these real man have been seen in fictional embraces together, if they’ve kissed in giffable high quality, it they’re (in their fucked up fantasies) cheating on a poor unsuspecting female partner in order to be together. M/m couples are only valuable to these people if their most intimate moments are visible, and palatable. It doesn’t matter if real love exists between them, all that matters is that they’re hot together, that their relationship is oh so wrong it’s right.

We as queer men deserve to be celebrated, and we deserve to be celebrated for the diversity and vibrance that we bring to the world. We deserve better than to be reduced to a sexual fantasy, to a cute little otp to squeal over, to something that is inherently taboo or naughty. We deserve to be respected. We deserve to be loved. We deserve a platform in a fandom that exists because of characters that reflect us. We deserve to be heard.

Further reading: http://thewoesofyaoi.tumblr.com/

https://www.lambdaliterary.org/features/oped/08/19/the-fetishizing-of-queer-sexuality-a-response/

https://versusthefans.com/2014/07/08/fetishizing-homosexuality/

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

(1/2) Hi, I have been dealing with something that I realized is reoccurring, occasionally I'll just get this feeling like there always this constant stress and pressure at my back to make sure nothing ever gets messed up or moved out of where it should be in my room so that way there will never be any mess for me to clean up. And it'll be there constantly every second I'm in my room so I just don't go in unless I have to sleep

(2/2) or I'll just stay totally constrained to one spot in my room when I'm doing something so I can make sure that small area doesn't have any mess in it. I used to let my room get messy all the time, Id have no energy to clean it and it would just spiral into a horrible state but now I think Im just on the exact opposite end of that now? I dont really know why I'm doing it or if you've ever experienced something like this before? I'll get into this state and cancel having people over bc of it.

Sorry this took me a while to answer! I’m far from an expert so please don’t take my word as gospel, but it sounds to me like your anxiety has lead to some obsessive compulsive tendencies. That’s not necessarily the same thing as full-blown OCD, but it’s obviously still a problem and it still needs to be addressed since it’s beginning to interfere with your life and disrupt your well-being.

Anxiety can manifest in a lot of ways, and sometimes we try to deal with it by hyperfixating on a single thing that we’re able to control. For you, that’s the cleanliness of your room. It sounds kind of silly, but I funnel my anxiety into organizing my tumblr queue. I feel a compulsion to almost obsessively arrange the order of the posts exactly the way I feel like they need to be, and when I’ve organized several days of posts just the way I like it, I feel much calmer than when I’ve almost run out of neatly organized posts. I know it’s kind of strange, but it allows me an essentially harmless outlet for my anxiety.

I certainly don’t mean to make that sounds like “oh I know what I’m doing, you should be like me” because obviously that’s not going to work for most people, it just happens to work for me, and I’m trying to use an example of a relatively harmless outlet for obsessive compulsive tendencies vs an outlet that’s starting to disrupt your life and cause you yet more anxiety.

It’s totally fine to use something like cleaning as a way to manage your anxiety, but once a coping skill has lost its positive impact, it’s become its own problem. I don’t have any perfect, easy suggestions, but I would say that you could try finding something else that you can turn this urge onto, something else you can clean or organize without it limiting you from existing in your own space. 

Of course, I think you should consider therapy or anxiety medication if your anxiety is really interfering in your quality of life, but sometimes the best we can do is adapt to our mental illness in such a way that allows us to be more functional. Aim for functional, not fixed, whatever that means for you personally. It doesn’t matter if it’s silly if it works.

Here’s my anxiety tag, coping skills tag, and OCD tag for more help. Take care.

[yes-clearstudentlover-us-blog]

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