#because as if often the case what triggers you/upsets you also has the potential to arouse you...maybe idk

[wild-at-mind]

I wonder if I could develop a fetish for being the sheltered loser kid who needs to be taught to live a little in a teen movie.

[danmeiarchive]

Silent Reading / Mo Du by Priest -- a brief review (no spoilers)

Novel length: 180 chapters + 5 extras

My Rating: ★★★★★ / 5

This series has to be one of my top fave books / series of all time. I legitimately think I could and would enjoy writing a lengthy thesis about it. It's a series that I enjoyed so much that I put off reading the last volume for MONTHS because I didn't want the series to end.

Check for content warnings under the cut.

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What kind of story is Silent Reading?

First and foremost this is a detective story. It involves police and politics, corruption and manipulation, wealthy overpowering the poor, and the list of potential trigger warnings for it is quite lengthy. There are some genuinely gruesome and upsetting content in the cases though most of it is seen afterwards and not experienced by the reader-- for example there's a scene where a girl encounters a killer but we don't see what happens and only find out about the aftermath as you read on.

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This is also a story about love, friendship, trust, family, and relationships. The special investigation squad really feels like a found family and it is lovely to see them all working so hard to protect each other especially in the last volume when shit really hits the fan. There's positive and negative relationships of just about every kind. Some characters are close to their family and have a loving relationship while others despise or have trauma with theirs.

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Finally it is a story covered and intertwined with theming and allusions. One of my favorite things about this series is how each book / volume is named after and related to another work of literature. I have not personally read all of them before but I admit I am curious to do so and return to Silent Reading and see how that changes my impression of things. Real quick here's a list of the novels in case you would like to look into them before starting Silent Reading;

The Red and the Black by Stendhal (1830)

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (1955)

Macbeth by William Shakespeare (1606)

Demons by Fyodor Dostoevsky (1871)

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas (1844)

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Who are the main characters?

Without going into details here's a little bit about our main squad:

Fei Du - a rich young man with a traumatic past who is interested in psychology and has a keen analytical mind. He is incredibly intelligent and determined to figure everything out (from the cases to his repressed memories) with all he has even if it hurts himself in the process. He acts cold and calculating and is determined not to trust or let others too close.

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Luo Wenzhou - the head of the special investigation squad, he appears carefree and lighthearted but cares so deeply. He wants to protect his little family of investigators no matter what. (He also has a cat named Luo Yiguo who is hilarious every time he shows up).

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Tao Ran - deputy captain of the squad, he has strong big brother vibes. He's serious and kind and a good foil to the flippant and brash Luo Wenzhou. He's constantly shaking his head and hoping everyone can get along (at least for a little while).

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Lang Qiao - part of the special investigation squad, she may not be as quick on analyzing the clues but she makes up for it by being decisive and taking action. (I really appreciated her not being fridged or a damsel -- in fact she often would rush into action and saved Xiao Haiyang a few times).

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Xiao Haiyang -he starts out in another unit but gets transferred into the special investigation squad in the second book after having worked with them closely during the first book. He's new and has a lot to learn but his incredible memory helps him pick up on some clues that others have missed. His sense of righteousness is strong but his self preservation is weak.

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What is the plot of Silent Reading?

Each volume revolves around a certain case that the special investigation squad and Fei Du find themselves wrapped up in. The characters and cases that they work on are complicated and nuanced, I felt a little like a detective myself as I would take notes while reading and try to piece together clues. This includes not only the current case but the little tidbits we would get about the main character's dark past and puzzling how it has affected him into who he is today as well as hints at a large scale conspiracy manipulated by some shadowy force that was directing the characters around to their whim. After reading each volume I would have a list of questions that I had generated that still remained and I hoped I would get more clues to in the next volume.

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I also appreciated that the cases seemed to become more complicated and tangled as the series continued. Suspects and victims were not mutually exclusive, What seemed simple at first glance would be revealed to be a cover-up and the characters would pursue the loose strings and uncover what really happened.

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Adaptations

Also there is a live action adaptation of the series called Justice in the Dark which is sadly caught up in legal issues. The first 8 episodes were aired and you can most likely find somewhere to watch them online just beware of malware when you search. The adaptation was actually the reason why I started reading the novels! I highly enjoyed the episodes that were released and while there are some differences between it and the source material it was honestly pretty minimal. I really liked the actors portrayals in particular that of Fei Du, Luo Wenzhou, and Tao Ran (even if the characters names were changed slightly).

(I believe there is also an audio drama and there was talk of a donghua in the works but I have not experienced either of them at this time.)

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Click 'keep reading' to see trigger warnings.

content warnings: please note that all of these warnings ALSO APPLY TOWARDS MINORS AND CHILDREN: sexual abuse and assault, brutal violence and physical abuse, mental and psychological abuse, animal abuse, death, murder, drug use, torture, dismemberment, neglect, human trafficking, cult-like brainwashing, manipulation, conspiracy, corruption, police, politics, trauma, cycle of abuse, social standing as an excuse to treat people as lesser (rich targeting the poor, strong targeting the weak, men targeting women, women targeting children, etc.)

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I'm not fully sure if this falls under trigger warnings but I'm going to put it here anyway. There's a few times where FD acts cheekily towards LWZ and LWZ alludes to 'punishing' FD with sex. I believe both characters are aware that this is meant as a form of teasing and play between them and if FD did not consent LWZ would not continue. They both know if FD teases LWZ to this extent that he's egging LWZ on purposefully and is consenting (sometimes this is an attempt to distract LWZ from asking FD questions that FD does not want to answer). Ultimately we know that LWZ wouldn't harm FD but I felt it was worth a mention.

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This series also unfortunately falls into the trope of one male character always tops and the other always bottoms -- to the extent that when the bottom complains or suggests switching roles the top acts offended or like he doesn't hear the other. It's like some bullshit pride thing that pops up from time to time in gay media that the bottom is less masculine because he's on the receiving end. Personally I think LWZ would thoroughly enjoy any type of act with FD as long as FD was doing it with him. And that's not to say a person can't have preferences-- I just get frustrated when the tops act insulted at the mere thought or implication of being the one on the receiving end.

[orbmanson7]

How can Logan drinking an ever growing amount of wine in the birthday video be interpreted as? What kind of message us viewers (and Thomas since he was interviewing them) are we supposed to receive from that display?

Alcohol, huh? Here's a trigger warning just in case! I'll be talking about alcohol a lot in this.

Alright, so the obvious answer here is that they are playing on the adult comedy trope of someone drinking wine indicating they are stressed but still have some of their dignity left (it's not like they are so desperate, they're drinking straight whiskey or care so little about class that they're downing beers).

Alcohol in media is often used to portray a character using unhealthy coping mechanisms to handle stress. Namely as a way to say, in not so many words, that someone is either trying to forget something that upsets them or that someone is trying to de-stress from their hectic life. This is likely why both Logan and Janus are seen drinking wine, though Logan, as you've noticed, definitely does it a lot more often. Yes, it's played up for comedic effect, but it's still probably meant to show us how stressed he is.

In WTIT, once Logan realizes he will not only have to keep Thomas on task but also have to wrangle in Remus, he purposefully dumps out his coffee and immediately fills a tumbler with wine instead. In the early afternoon, too, no less. Yikes.

I won't get into potential alcoholic behaviors or anything because it's clear this is meant to be a joke above all else, even if it's a joke about someone utilizing an unhealthy coping mechanism. The only thing to really focus on with this is its lack of prevalence among other sides and its recently increased frequency in videos.

Like I mentioned, we've only really seen Janus and Logan purposefully ingest the stuff (sorry, Patton), but I fully believe that Janus drinks wine more for the aesthetics than for its effects. It's a villainous prop, it completes his look - the one he wants others to see. That's why we don't typically see him actually drink the wine when he's shown with it, mostly just holding it in a glass.

For him, it's more about looking like someone who drinks wine than actually wanting/needing to drink it. This is why he likes being seen as the "sassy aunt" like he said in the anniversary video, as the 'wine aunt' is another common trope seen in media. The wine aunt is often characterized as someone who likes to gossip, indulge themselves, and often cares more about how others perceive them and pretending they're unbothered by it than actually doing anything about it. Maybe that says something about Janus, maybe not. ;)

But in Logan's case, things are definitely different. I highly doubt it's about aesthetics for him (well, it is on a meta level for the sake of comedy, but not within the narrative) and it's far more about the wine's function.

Alcohol is known to lower inhibitions. As a depressant, it can heighten emotions (any emotions - happiness, sadness, anger, etc.) and it allows you to make more impulsive decisions that you may have properly thought out and talked yourself out of otherwise - depending on your tolerance level, that is. I don't personally like wine but I know it takes several drinks and shots before I can even feel buzzed, so Logan having increasingly larger containers doesn't have to only exist as a running joke, it can also indicate that he has a very high tolerance level.

That means he has a lot of control over himself and his faculties, and if he would want those inhibitions lowered, it would take A LOT of alcohol to actually have a significant effect on him.

If that was another way of saying he's divulging in something that will get his guard down and possibly let something more emotional take hold, it certainly would be an interesting analogy to use for such a purpose.

But, here's the thing - Logan indulging in drinking wine is a choice. He is choosing to do this, likely knowing full well what alcohol can do to someone's mind (which is why he keeps drinking more and more as time goes on). Comedic bit or not, Logan is either using wine as a unhealthy coping mechanism for stress and it's going to result in lowered inhibitions and impulsive choices that he's determined may be worth the risk, or he's using wine for the express purpose of its ability to lower inhibitions and heighten emotions and doesn't care if it's helping him handle his stress or not.

Either way, it doesn't seem like a smart move to make, at least not in the long-term.

But maybe it's a key to getting things moving narratively, who knows?

[silver-heller]

Since we've come to an agreement on Pi and Edith being siblings, I would love for some headcanons about Pi as a big brother (and also feel free to introduce him).

Here's my boy, now called Pin, potentially from Perrin.

Picrew

Here are some headcanons;

Emotional

🦋 Because he is so unexpressive, I can definitely see any sibling of his overcompensating with energy or emotions.

🦋 Since Pin doesn't actively see anything wrong with the way he acts and is not very self conscious or remorseful about his lack of expressiveness, it can definitely come off like he doesn't care sometimes when really, he does.

🦋 That being said, Pin can be incredibly sweet to those who understand him, always ensuring he understands how or what they feel and why. He is very good at getting to the root of an issue, which can make some people feel vulnerable or sensitive.

🦋 Compliments from Pin are very flat, but can feel very powerful in this way. When he says "you're a good person", you kind of just want to believe him, and I think he'd use this power for good when it comes to his siblings.

🦋 Though it could be hurtful when he's annoyed or having his worse days, as it also feels very powerful when he says something like "you're being a nuisance".

🦋 He is very good at memorizing other's quirks and triggers, so he'd be very careful to avoid things that upset, and put in the effort to do things he knows they enjoy.

Hobbies

🦋 He'd very enthusiastically helps them with their studies of any subject they're interested in.

🦋 Because Pin has a variety of interests and loves to learn, he'd be willing to have a sibling open him up to a new hobby or point of view.

🦋 He would definitely mend the clothes of a younger sibling if they ever got them ripped.

🦋 Does he find nature and people beautiful? Yes, but in a scientific sense. He appreciates how complex they are and all the complexities of life (which is possibly why he is so open to many gender and sexual identities).

🦋 He will gladly consume any content that can be educational, from books, to films, to charts, to photographs, and so on. He can't get enough of the stuff, and this goes for experiences as well. If he feels like an experience will teach him something about someone, he'll gladly participate. Even if it's outside of his comfort zone.

🦋 From a young age sewing was always his passion, so I can see him having made plushies and the like for a sibling while they were growing up, and their sibling could see his progress through that, in a way.

Family

🦋 He'd be quite protective of them and willing to defend them in the case of anyone being nasty to them for any reason.

🦋 Tailored or highly specific gifts are something he'd definitely give to a sibling.

🦋 He's quite uncomfortable around children since they often have a hard time explaining their feelings and, therefore, Pin has a hard time understanding them (and hates seeing them upset). As a young lad himself, I imagine he was very awkward because he himself did not know how to explain his own need for explanations and things. In the case of a sibling he'd be much more patient.

🦋 I feel as if he was distant from his parents for one reason or another, but I am unsure why. Potentially because they could not understand his nature and, or, were made uncomfortable by it (unintentionally).

🦋 He probably talks about his family very rarely, but would keep a sibling close to his heart and think about them often.

🦋 He would always attempt to schedule to see them during holidays or send them a letter for special events if he could not attend. That being said, he would try his hardest to be there.

[zeroducks-2]

To give a serious response to your last reblog, I think most people (maybe not the VOCAL majority) like to exclude tags they don't want to see, and then if something is tagged incorrectly you do just scroll past or stop reading the fic when something comes up. I know there are people who complain about it like it's the end of the world but yeah it is a common thing among most of my internet people to be like "aw man I didn't know [thing] was gonna be in this fic, I guess I'm gonna go read something else now" and I don't really see any problem with that. (As long as they aren't like harassing the author about it or anything obviously, which again I'm sure some people do and that's not cool)

Fair warning, this was supposed to be a quick response and it turned into a long ass ramble about purity culture and anti behavior, sorry about that. It is a long post so feel free to just skip to the TL:DR.

I agree with you, and as I mentioned I really really like the tagging system and the culture of putting content warnings and trigger warnings over content to help people avoid what they dislike and/or actively harms them. I like it in general, not just on AO3.

For what concerns AO3 I know that most people don't cause any kind of issue about it. I too had a situation where an anonymous guest commented to ask me to tag something in my fic. I hadn't thought about it because it was kind of just a vague mention but to them it seemed to be a big deal, so I apologized and added the tag (and they were really nice and polite about it anyway) and that was it. I don't mind people asking me to tag stuff. As an author I'm not omniscient and I don't have a team or even just an advisor to give a second opinion on my stuff, and tell me what I might have missed in the tags. So by all means do say it if you prefer this or that tag being added to my stories. I might have come off as someone who has issues with the tagging system and the culture around it, and I understand that it might be the case since my reblog was worded a bit harshly. I am sorry about that.

What I really was complaining about is people adopting anti or anti-ish behavior around fanfictions and fanfiction writers, acting like the fact that they come across content they dislike is the poster's fault when they're unable to curate their own online experience, and/or take responsibility as grown adults over the possibility of coming across something they dislike. At the same time holding fanfiction writers to absurd standards when it comes to laying out what their fics contain before someone engages with it, while it would be considered absurd to demand something like this from a novel, a movie, a videogame or anything non-transformative really. And not only there's the exclusion system on AO3 that helps people filter content they don't like, but also I want to highlight the fact that someone who is writing a fanfiction does not owe anyone anything in terms of tagging their stories. Tagging by itself is a form of courtesy that is not mandatory for most kind of content except the so called Archive Warnings, and even then you can avoid tagging anything by simply using "Creator chose not to use warnings" - which I'm sure you know means "this story contains potentially upsetting themes, proceed at your own risk". Most people will just politely ask to add tags, and most people will just tag their stories anyway. I very rarely ever came across a fic which was severely untagged to the point of making me wonder if the OP actually knew tags existed, and how they worked in the first place. I think it happened maybe twice and I've been reading fanfictions since AO3 didn't even exist. But there also are people who will harass the author if they didn't tag their fic "properly", and by properly it often times means that a character mentioned something the reader dislikes, or maybe a character they hate makes a very brief appearance, or there is a random OC created for a specific situation. Or anything that doesn't suit their tastes really, and that they demanded was laid out in front of them so they could avoid the gigantic effort of clicking on a story, read the first chapter and deciding by themselves if they liked it or not. These people are the ones who act like fanfiction writers and content in general should cater explicitly to them. Just check the comments of that post, you'll see an array of folks complaining that "authors do this on purpose!" and that who doesn't tag their fic properly is a terrible person.

There's this one saying that it's "so frustrating" and "really inconsiderate" on the author's part, referring to a fanfiction which has one of the characters genderswapped. Now I really, really dislike genderswap (nothing against it or against who likes it, but it really is not my cup of tea both in fics and in fanarts) and I generally stay away from it. But realistically, how long is it going to take me to realize that a fic has been written with one or more genderswapped characters? A couple of sentences? Maybe an entire paragraph? How "frustrating" is it gonna be to spend something like 3 minutes figuring that this story is not for me, and move on with my life?

It's not frustrating, and it's not inconsiderate on anyone's part. Sure I too would prefer it to be tagged, but it's a Me problem if I can't accept that I might end up seeing something I dislike on the internet, and it's not not a random fanfic author's responsibility to make sure I don't encounter something that makes me turn up my nose.

There is in general a lot of pressure on fanfic authors, in some fandoms more than others, and the whole "you have to absolutely nail the tags" conversation is another layer of said pressure. I know people that won't post longfics because they're unsure about the tags, especially of the fact that tags might change over time, and end up not posting at all. People deleting their entire fics over these kinds of demands because they can't meet them, because they don't know how their fic is going to change from here to the 15th chapter. People having to disable or moderate comments, take hiatuses, abandon fics - sure maybe the comment insinuating they were a bad person for not tagging "there's a random policeman OC in your detective AU" is not the main reason why they abandoned the fic, but it surely did not help.

This also leads to another phenomenon, which is that of over-tagging. Of people tagging rape/noncon "just to be safe", or tagging underage because "this character is 18 but there still is a big age gap", and the likes. That's not how tags work, that's actually how the tagging system gets bloated and becomes useless, because after the 4th fic which is tagged Rape and the rape doesn't happen, what often occurs is that the reader finds another fic tagged Rape and doesn't take it seriously. But in that one case the rape does happen and they get triggered, and it's an awful experience both for the reader and for the writer in case they get harassed over it (and this specific instance happened to me personally, because apparently the Rape warning on my story wasn't enough since the rape actually happened).

It's part of the reason why the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag exists and got so popular. If your story has some background/minor/past/mentioned/implied/referenced Thing happening, and you tag it as a Major Thing that happens, people who write stories which actually have Thing as a major topic don't know what to do, and end up using the Dead Dove tag which per se doesn't mean anything, it's just a way to say "MIND THE DAMN TAGS AND DON'T COME AT ME!". No one should feel forced to use the Dead Dove tag by the way. The Archive Warnings and the tagging system in general exist for a reason. If you're reading this and you've been harassed, just block the fuckers and ignore them.

So anyway, while I tend to be really irked by over-taggers especially when I'm looking for a specific kink, I don't really blame them. Purity culture kills artistic expression by making artists afraid of harassment if they post their work, among other things. I prefer an over-tagged fanfiction (or an under-tagged one) over no fanfiction at all.

TL;DR - I agree with you anon, I'm just mad at people who harass authors over tags. I don't think there's anything wrong with politely asking someone to tag their fanfiction, and if they repeatedly don't do it over major stuff that needs to be tagged, just block them and/or report them to the AO3 TOS.

[twin-books]

Part 2: Mr Love: Queen’s Choice - Gavin

This is a continuation of this post where I compare Adrien’s character to other successful characters or character arcs. Tagging @chaotic-trav​ who’s ask I started building off of. Please be warned that there will be spoilers for Miraculous Ladybug and Mr Love: Queen’s Choice in the following. I recommend checking these things out for yourself, especially MLQC which has a beautiful story. I shall reiterate that I do not hate Adrien. I just hate how he is written. I shall also reiterate what I said in my last post where we compared Adrien to Kiro; One of the reasons I believe Mr Love: Queen's Choice's characters are comparable examples to Adrien (despite all the characters presented are adults through most of the story) is because it is an otome game, which means its primary focus is romance much like Miraculous. But also, much like Miraculous, it involves high action scenes and beings with superpowers. It balances these things quite well whereas Miraculous (in my opinion) does not. And unlike Miraculous, it presents itself as a romance first and foremost, making it clear where their primary focus is whereas Miraculous doesn't really do that. In fact, most of its marketing is pointing at girl power. At least MLQC knows what it's about. Keeping that in mind let’s talk about Gavin.

Who is Gavin? Let’s define him like we did for Kiro. Gavin is a Special Evol Task Force agent and a cop who heavily believes in justice. He’s got a very adventurous and fearless nature. He loves astronomy and is well skilled handy man, able to take apart and put anything back together with relative ease. People from an outside perspective describe him as very cold and reckless. In reality, Gavin is fiercely brave and careful. He’s a man of few words and relies on actions to convey how he feels. He’s often described as a lone wolf due to his rather unconventional methods of handling things (such as using very morally grey informants to gain knowledge). Gavin is no stranger to slander. People have talked behind his back all his life, even people at the precinct. However, he believes trivial gossip isn’t worth wasting his time on when there are real monsters out there to deal with. And when Gavin sets his mind on something or someone he remains fiercely loyal to that thing or person. This is such a huge part of his character that Gavin is often represented by a wolf or a dog in the narrative. Now, besides the loyalty and his adventurous nature, Gavin’s character seems to share very few similarities to Adrien. Gavin is a special case because rather than his character sharing any similarities to Adrien, it’s his backstory and arc that is easily comparable to Adrien. Before I go further I want to make it clear that I love the character of Gavin. He’s a character that genuinely fascinates. It helps that I have learned the most about him in the narrative so I have a lot more to go off of. It’s that narrative that made me fall in love with him as a character. My goal was to not spoil too much because Gavin is a very fun character and people should experience him for themselves. But, unfortunately, a lot of what connects him to Adrien is very spoilery. So, I am begging you to check out the game first to truly experience his and Kiro’s characters! This is your only warning for spoilers ahead! Trigger Warning: The following discusses things such as low self-esteem, bullying, suicidal thinking, child abuse (both mental and physical), and PTSD. If these things have the potential to upset you I suggest either reading with caution or not continuing.   Now let’s remind ourselves of the backstory for Adrien (which is, unfortunately, very brief since his character is rarely ever a focus in the narrative). Adrien is a boy who has been isolated most of his life. Due to this he lacks the ability to properly communicate and the understanding of social ques. He is said to have a very big connection to his mother who he unfortunately lost at quite recently. It is never stated what he believes her fate is but it’s heavily implied he believes she is dead. This sense of loss, Adrien has gone on to state, changed his father for the worst and led Gabriel to manipulate his son. It’s kind of hinted at (barely) that Gabriel may have always been like that but it was just his mother’s death that opened Adrien’s eyes a little to the bigger picture.  It’s only through becoming Chat Noir that Adrien is shown to slowly pull the wool from his eyes and begin to truly see his father for who he truly is. It’s unfortunate that every time this freaking happens it is immediately erased or forgotten about. Gabriel is shown to manipulate and beat his son if the narrative so choses. It is almost hinted at he could be descending into madness because, while he was terrible in the beginning, he was at least shown to care for his son in some small way. It wasn’t freaking love by any means however now it seems he can only treat his son as a tool to use for his ulterior motives. Due to this Adrien suffers from loss of self, believing his only purpose is to serve others (or I could honestly be grasping at straws because, again, they aren’t very good at conveying this. But I think that’s what they’re going for). Adrien is incapable of thinking of himself as separate from another person. This also leads to an unhealthy mindset disguised in the form of undying selflessness (sort of, but we’ll get to it). This means that he will sooner sacrifice himself than even just inconvenience someone he cares about. Now let’s compare this to Gavin’s backstory. Keep in mind, some of this I did get from the anime so it may not be entirely accurate. Again, I apologize to those die-hard MLQC fans. Gavin’s mother was a loving, doting woman with an unending amount of patience and a very adventurous spirit. Gavin’s relationship with his mother wasn’t hinted at, it was explicitly stated as being a loving bond Gavin cherished very deeply. They don’t just tell you that their relationship was good they go out of their way to show you, sometimes through side stories, but mostly just through his character alone. Gavin’s character was heavily shaped by his mother and it shows! She taught him that love is best shown in action which he carries with him all the way to his adulthood. She also plays another, even bigger role in shaping who he is but we’ll get to that later. Gavin’s father is a cold, calculating man. He is in direct contrast to Gavin’s mother with very little patience, very little love to offer, and a huge amount of self-righteous anger. It is no secret that Gavin isn’t close with his father at all but it is a surprise to the MC and us, the reader, just how bad their relationship was.   For most of his childhood Gavin’s father was absent due to deeming Gavin a “failure” because he did not possess any evol (MLQC equivalent to superpowers). This caused Gavin to grow bitterness for his old man, so much in fact that he doesn’t respect him enough to even call him father often referring to him as “that man”. Throughout his childhood Gavin is presented as a kid who had to grow up too fast and puts on a brave face to not appear “weak” purely for the sake of showing his father he’s worth something, even without any evol. He also wants to prove that they don’t need “that man” and he can be the man his mother needs.  The catalyst for Gavin’s character happens at age 15 (coincidentally, about the age of Adrien). A fire breaks out at his home and despite his mother screaming for help he was incapable of saving her. It is only worsened when his father inexplicitly appears back into his life just to tell Gavin he’s the reason his mother died. That he was too weak to save her. That he couldn’t even do that right.  Unsurprisingly Gavin suffers from a huge amount of survivor’s guilt and the false idea that he failed to save his mother when there was most likely nothing he could do. He also harbored large amounts of anger towards himself that he unfortunately starts to take out on his fellow classmates whenever they speak ill of his mother. This is what begins to soil his reputation. He also suffers from PTSD when presented with fire and actively avoids it which leads many to believe he only has a phobia of fire. In the anime, a confrontation on the roof of his school leads to a large fight and eventually Gavin getting pushed off the roof. It’s here where Gavin wants to give in and just let death take him but it’s a distant piano playing and the fall of the gingko leaves that leads him to the conclusion that he can’t die then. I also believe it may have something to do with reminding him of his mother but the anime does a very poor job of portraying that where I’m sure the game most likely succeeds. It is here where he discovers his evol, the ability to manipulate the wind, the irony being he gained it too late. And that beautiful piano music was being played by none other than MC. As Gavin grows he begins to take his anger out on the right people. He dedicates himself to justice and saving others as to not “fail” to save anyone again. But because of this he has a tendency to start fights which leads people to become understandably wary of them, even MC, who actually becomes friends with him a long with a few other students. It’s not clear to Gavin that a lot of them, maybe including MC, are just trying to stay on his good side. Now this is a lot that adds to Gavin’s character. Despite having a similar story to Adrien his story manages to find, and keep, intrigue. It also compliments and explains Gavin’s character without really just explaining it. This is not the case for Adrien. Now I should acknowledge that the story of MLQC is obviously intended for an older audience but I am not comparing them because I want Miraculous to be darker (on the contrary I actually enjoy it’s more light-hearted tone. As much as I love MLQC it can be too much for me which is why I take so long to get through it). I am comparing them because Gavin’s character is very clear and his backstory supports who he is.  Gavin even ends up having similar thinking to Adrien, where he believes his purpose is to help others. But instead of only ever showing this through occasional self-sacrifice it is clear throughout Gavin’s lifestyle. He hardly ever eats anything healthy, only ever eating take-out or instant noodles. This is despite the fact he makes a decent salary between his two jobs. He is constantly working out, less for himself and more to just keep himself strong and agile to better be of use. Whenever someone is in danger his immediate response is to jump into action despite points where he is unarmed and unable to use his evol. And when he is injured his first instinct is to check on the other people rather than get himself to a hospital. He only preserves himself enough to be helpful. These are clear things not just told to us but, again, shown to us! This is also clearly presented as not only a symbol of his persistence but a huge flaw! This isn’t something that presents itself as the only correct conclusion to anyone but Gavin! He is so bad that he doesn’t even bother to care for his own interests! It’s MC who has to fish that out of him! But you know what’s also great about this? It isn’t contradicting in the slightest and the change is gradual. The romantic relationship between him and MC serves to grow Gavin as a character. With Adrien it’s so conflicting. He will be self-sacrifice but only ever for Marinette and Ladybug. He is also the first to leap into action but then sometimes he refuses. He’s presented as one to keep fighting on despite the fact he has either tried or did give up his miraculous several times. None of these things are presented as even a flaw either or like it’s supposed to be a contradiction that he needs to challenge. They are just there! And the lovesquare does not, at all, help his character. Ladybug does not inspire change in Chat Noir at all, nor Marinette for Adrien. In fact, she is either discouraging him for his frankly weird advances or encouraging his unhealthy behavior. The only time she ever reprimands Chat for his incoherent need to just self-sacrifice is one passing comment in Lies! And the one character that is supposed to challenge and oppose Adrien, Felix, isn’t allowed to help him change at all! No! An akuma had to do that! Heck, Gavin also has his own Felix equivalent in his younger half-brother Shaw. They even have a similar backstory (which I will not get into, I have spoiled enough). They are constantly at odds and it’s very clear they tick each other off, yet Shaw (at least in the anime) does inspire Gavin to challenge his own beliefs. I don’t freaking understand why Adrien’s character cannot remain consistent and gradually grow. It feels like his “growth” is shoved in very last minute in season 4 (not very well mind you) because the writers suddenly remembered that the whole Agreste arc exists! These aren’t even the only similar story arcs Gavin and Adrien share I just can’t spoil freaking everything. Again, I am not asking for Adrien to be exactly like Gavin. I am just begging for Adrien’s character to be as fleshed out and consistent as Gavin’s. For his beliefs to be challenged and for how his past has affected him to be evident and not just occasionally mentioned. I actually like that opposed to Gavin, Adrien still cares for his father. I do enjoy the differences, I just with they were freaking explored. But tune in for Part 3 where I compare Adrien to Ben Tennyson or Ben 10. Again, the reason for this many comparisons is not only show how all over the place Adrien’s character feels (to me) but the many avenues that others went down with similar characters or arcs that succeeded.

[chasing-rabbits]

I’ve been under my new CMHT (community mental health team) for a month now and unfortunately it’s been a little slow for the transfer to really lead to anything. So like I was transferred to their care and they run kinda different to my old CMHT I think they have more resources and are generally a larger unit since they’re in the town and my old CMHT was covering smaller villages. Probably a funding thing tbh.

Long post so putting under read more it’s mostly positive but there is some discussion about struggling with trauma & a potential PTSD/CPTSD diagnosis nothing I’d consider to be triggering but I want to put a small CW just in case any discussion could be upsetting to someone going through shit right now.

Anyways I’m under what they call their TABI?? Idk how its spelled to be honest but they said because I’m a new patient to them I’m under their TABI team which is their like triage team and acute short term treatment team. This includes being assigned a care co-ordinator who manages my case which is nice because they basically manage me as a whole and bring together every team treating me. Like an issue at my old place is I was under a psychiatrist then a therapist and an OT (Occupational therapist) but they didn’t always cross communicate but that’s kinda what the care co-ordinator will help with in the beginning I think I only get her for short term whilst they organise my care and do a full assessment on their end. But it does make things easier because I can just talk to her one person about my care as a whole from all points also she seems really lovely. I had a conversation with her earlier this week and explained some of my concerns and potential issues I’d not discussed with my previous psych for a variety of reasons tbh. Uh but she said it does sound like I could have some PTSD/CPTSD etc etc so she’s going to reach out and see about getting me some kind of assessment/appointment with the relevant member of staff I say staff not psychiatrist because she said there’s someone in the TABI team whose able to make those diagnoses not just my psychiatrist which I’ve yet to be assigned. That is in part because they need to assess me although she said its likely I’d be transferred to what they call the recovery team as I said TABI is also for short term interventions no more than 6months the recovery team is for those who may need longer term care whether it be psych care or therapy or both and more. She is also getting the ball rolling on a psychology assessment/appointment however waiting lists are about a year but once assessed it typically doesn’t take too long to then get the corresponding therapy decided by the outcome of the assessment so that’s not too bad and there’s often long waits for therapy so I expected it tbh I am glad she said it’s only about a year because some places it can be a lot worse.

She’s also reaching out the their OT for an assessment so unfortunately whenever you switch CMHT’s the new one often like to do their own assessments again with things like therapy and OT and such which makes sense it’s been awhile since my first assessment and things might have changed in fact they probably have so I understand that and I’m glad she’s reached out for me to get an assessment as soon as they have availability.

Honestly it just feels so good to be heard regardless of outcomes I just wanted someone to hear what I was saying and feel like they were taking it seriously and not dismissing everything I said. I feel like I might *fingers crossed* get a decent level of treatment from a place of compassion and care although I’m yet to meet my actual psychiatrist or therapist or OT for that matter but so far everyone I have spoken to has been very very lovely. Although talking to her very briefly about some of my symptoms and trauma has meant I’ve been having a lot of thoughts since then about it. I woke up this morning thinking about it all and that’s been hard but I know it’s going to be hard and really fucking triggering to go through all of it but hopefully at the end of it I’ll be better because I can’t therapy without a diagnosis and if I get therapy that’ll be just as triggering all over again but again at the end of it I’ll hopefully have better coping mechanisms and strength to handle it. Idk it just feels like things might be going in a positive direction. I just wish my mind would stop taking me back to past bullshit because it’s so I feel like I’d do anything to just make my mind stop for a second so I don’t have to think or feel any of this and I know that’s a dangerous thought process to go down so idk I’m going to have to try really hard to find other coping mechanisms on my own before I get therapy because I can’t go back to what I used to do when I felt this way, never again. I have enough issues as it is.

[whispers-ln-shadows]

addressing what went down on nye…im really sorry for how things went, and i want to own up to my actions.

i was genuinely excited to spend nye with you, and everything was going great until midnight. i want to emphasize that im truly not hung up on my ex in any way. it's just that it triggered some deep-seated emotions, particularly about my dad, and it completely consumed my thoughts and overwhelmed me.

what happened next was a mess. i not only got upset but also ended up lying about what was said, and i know that it only made things worse. i can't imagine how frustrating it must have been for you to go around and around in circles with me for three hours, and i'm truly sorry for putting you through that.

without avoiding responsibility, because this is still completely on me, i realized that alcohol played a significant role in what happened, and i'm determined to be more responsible in the future. i want you to know that i have no intention of letting an ex, or anything else, affect our relationship like it has.

i regret telling you we were done...its not what i want or feel, i didnt mean it. i was just overwhelmed by the situation.

ive taken a deep dive into self-reflection, trying to pinpoint my triggers and confront my tendencies to lie or avoid the truth. it's led me to some conclusions.

above all, trust is of utmost importance. i realize the need for you to trust me completely, to believe in the honesty of my words. equally, i must trust you, especially when it comes to being honest without fearing rejection. we need to foster open, constructive conversations, which you excel at with your clear boundaries and support.

on the flip side, i often find myself anticipating conflicts and worst-case scenarios, causing me to shy away from honesty out of fear. i create these mental scenarios and apply them to situations that haven't even happened yet, and i really regret how it has affected our relationship.

for our relationship to work, trust is an absolute must. i recognize that i haven't provided many good examples of being honest in the past, and i'm genuinely sorry for that.

thinking about why ive sometimes resorted to lying... it's been a self-preservation mechanism for me, a way to shield myself from facing difficult truths that i might find uncomfortable or challenging to talk about. i've been afraid of potential conflicts and the emotional toll that honesty could bring. but I understand that this approach has only caused more harm than good, and i need to break this pattern and confront the truth, no matter how hard it may be, because you deserve that honesty and openness.

ive unintentionally taken my frustrations out on you, which is unfair and hurtful. i've leaned on you to fix things for me when it's my responsibility to address my own issues. i know that this isn't healthy for either of us, and i really need to work on managing my emotions better and not burdening you with problems that aren't yours to solve. it's essential that we both have the space to be ourselves and support each other without the added pressure of fixing everything.

i appreciate the valuable advice you've given me in the past, and i want to acknowledge that sometimes i haven't followed it as i should. i understand that, to some extent, offering guidance and support is all you can do, and im grateful for it.

i know i let you down, and i'm committed to making amends and ensuring this doesn't happen again. i value our relationship so much, and i'm ready to work on myself to handle triggers better and be completely honest with you.

i value what we have with all my heart. we share so many great moments, and i genuinely enjoy our time together. you make me incredibly happy, and i cherish what we have. the thought of losing you terrifies me, and i miss you while you're taking time to think about everything.

i want to end this apology by pleading with you not to give up on me. im truly sorry for the mistakes ive made and the hurt i've caused. im willing to do anything it takes to make things right and to be better for you and myself. our relationship means the world to me, and i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give us another chance...

i hope we can put this behind us and keep building a stronger, trusting bond together...

[marley-manson]

“I can’t divide myself emotionally.” - The More I See You

“I'm torn between the idea of the love I have for these people... and wanting that relationship to continue... and wanting to erase all the memories I have of this place.” - The Interview

“I’m hooked into a little house in Mill Valley where my wife and daughter live. That line gives me one tiny element of control in a situation where everything else is beyond my control. [...] You know what they say here? Live for now, for there may be no tomorrow. [...] I’ve got to live for tomorrow, because for me, there’s no now.” - War Co-Respondent

This is the BJ thesis statement right here. BJ’s major conflict of the show is staying emotionally detached from the war by focusing on his family back home, versus his emotional attachments to the people he meets in Korea.

And obviously the major illustrative war zone relationship that brings BJ’s Interview line full circle is his friendship with Hawkeye. BJ’s emotional conflict can therefore essentially be summed up as Peggy vs Hawkeye.

The closer he gets to Hawkeye, the further he gets from Peggy, the closer he gets to the war, and the more changed he is.

Looking at their relationship from this angle really adds a satisfying sense of depth to a lot of the gay jokes lol, whether intentional or not (in some cases I think it is, like “Remind me to give you a kiss in the morning,” or acting out an affair in Morale Victory, but in most cases it’s prob just coincidentally fitting) and imo illuminates a lot of BJ’s behaviour towards Hawkeye - mainly scoffing at the campaigns that require only emotional support rather than action towards a concrete goal (eg Depressing News rather than Souvenirs) and his general emotional distance, and lashing out at him either dramatically (Period of Adjustment) or comedically (Dear Uncle Abdul).

Like when it comes to BJ’s emotional distance, it can be read as a deliberate attempt to keep Hawkeye at arm’s length and avoid becoming his shoulder to lean on, which fits the way BJ acts more emotionally aloof and distanced rather than less the further along in the show we get. You can even go a step further and argue that Carrie Donovan acts as a warning for BJ, showing him the consequences of letting someone bare their feelings to him and being their emotional support.

Interestingly, this also potentially explains why BJ is willing to join Hawkeye’s campaigns when he has a theoretically achievable goal (eg Souvenirs, Guerilla My Dreams) but not when all Hawkeye needs is a sympathetic ear. Keeping Hawkeye at an emotional distance is actually more important than keeping the war at a distance. I don’t think that’s intentional lol, and I don’t think it’s the only explanation, but it’s definitely one way to read BJ’s differing approaches to the campaigns.

And I know a lot of people see BJ’s antagonizing behaviour with Hawkeye as imitating his behavour with his wife, where he deliberately makes her upset with him so she’ll spill her feelings, but I don’t. He doesn’t torment Hawkeye to force him to reveal his feelings - Hawkeye doesn’t need encouragement for that, and he’s often the one trying to tell BJ how he feels while BJ ignores him or downplays it (Give Em Hell Hawkeye, Blood and Guts, Depressing News, Back Pay, etc etc)

So when it comes to lashing out, what BJ is doing imo is falling back on his second coping mechanism - taking his anger out on other people, as he says in Our Finest Hour. The more Peg as a coping mechanism fails him, due to time and distance and, in this reading, his growing attachment to Hawkeye, the more he lashes out. Which is also why this behaviour gets worse as the show goes on.

This emotional divide between Peggy and Hawkeye comes to a head in the finale when BJ, faced with a Hawkeye who really needs emotional support, instead starts talking about his kid in his typical trying-to-cope-with-a-difficult-situation way, triggering Hawkeye, and then tries to run away back home without saying goodbye. Essentially he’s brought back by the narrative because he has to acknowledge that he did end up emotionally divided after all and he is attached to Hawkeye. That’s why their final goodbye is framed in that ‘various things will always remind me of you’ way. BJ has to admit that he’s been affected and changed by their friendship.

Anyway imo that’s why BJ’s narrative is so easy and fun to view through a gay lens lol, because it really genuinely does parallel his relationships with Hawkeye and with Peg (and Carrie and Aggie), presumably as a platonic version, but no less significant for that. The whole point of BJ’s character is that he does end up emotionally divided after all, between Peggy and Hawkeye, despite all his attempts to avoid emotional attachments and live solely in the future. Hawkeye brings him into the present, and that fucks him up.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

--------------------------------

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good. 

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose. 

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

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General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

[neversleepagainau]

please do not repost my art.​

~~~

at long last, im so excited to announce that this ask blog is officially open! many people know I’ve been working on this intro for roughly five weeks, and I’m very excited to finally share it- possibly as excited as I am to FINALLY begin telling this story!!!

first of all, tumblr completely ruined the quality of that last panel- if you wanna see the full sized gif (warning you now, it’s enormous), you can find that here! And, if the gif is hard to read/hard to view, there’s a static version of this panel below the cut! 

There’s also a ton of extra information that could answer some questions you might have, as well as a list of potential triggers to watch out for in the future! However, it is really long, and when I say really long, I mean it’s chapter-in-a-book-long so please don’t feel obligated to read it unless you have extra questions/have some bad triggers you wanna make sure to avoid.

Otherwise though, I can’t wait to see what kind of questions you guys send these two! One has to wonder… where in the world are they headed off to in the dead of night… 

First of all, here’s the static image of Panel 8, as promised!

And now for some extra info on things going forward.

On every single canon update, there will be a description of themes in this story that could unsettle or discomfort some viewers. I’ve included tags to blacklist, and explained exactly how these situations might arise so folks who are sensitive to this kind of thing can prepare themselves accordingly! 

I would recommend at least skimming this list if you know you have some bad triggers! This story will never get too dark or intense, as I’m attempting to stay true to the original spirit of MSA, but this doesn’t mean it won’t touch on those themes at all.

also, in regards to how much of this art is hand drawn by me- the honest truth is 99% of this is entirely freehanded. I took colors from the videos, but otherwise only used them as reference. However, if I ever used a canon asset to help me, I will always specifically say what exactly was borrowed directly from canon in a way that was more than just using images as reference and taking colors. for this post specifically, I’ll word it a little differently, but this will all be much tidier in the future.

the van asset is 97% freehanded by myself- I did take measurements of the canon asset, and marked my canvas so I’d know the width and height of the van, and vaguely marked where the tires would be. 
I did trace the antennae ontop, as well as the cloud decals, one of the curves on the right side of the windshield, part of the door window at the very bottom lefthand corner, and the rear view mirror. The logo was not recreated, I directly took that and just altered the colors to fit the van.  Other than that, everything you see on that van was freehanded. The van was also the only thing I used a canon asset to help me with for creation of it, meaning that the rest of the art in this introduction is entirely freehand.

moving on from that- updates will not take an entire month like this did. i will not be doing eight full color illustrations for every single update, and for right now, at the minimum, they’ll happen weekly!  i can provide more information going forward once I work out how I’m going to go about things a little better, since things won’t be as huge as this introduction was. don’t worry though, the quality of the art itself will stay the same throughout the whole story!

and yes, lewis and vivi are in this too! there’s a big cast of characters, and lew and viv are just as much at the center of this story as arthur and mystery are- don’t worry, you’ll see them plenty soon enough!

finally, before we get to the content warning stuff, if you ever have any questions about how I’m running things, or need clarification on anything, please let me know! I’m happy to explain things in more depth if needed!!! and now, here’s the last chunk of this INCREDIBLY long introduction. ~~~ WHAT FOLLOWS IS A VERY LONG (!!!), IN DEPTH LIST OF THINGS VIEWERS MIGHT ENCOUNTER IN THIS STORY THAT COULD TRIGGER THEM. If you are not super sensitive or have very intense triggers, you don’t really need to read what follows unless you want to. Otherwise, I would at least skim this, so you know what tags to block so you won’t have to see this type of content.

Don’t let any of this worry you too much, by the way! This story is very likely not ever going to get extreme in any manner, I just like to be very cautious, just in case!

Also keep in mind that you can always ask me to add tags to a post, and it’s highly unlikely I will refuse said request. If I do, it will be for a very good reason, and I’ll explain it thoroughly, as well as remain open to any discussion about it. With that in mind, here are things to be aware of:

CHARACTER DEATH/REMOVAL FROM STORY: There may be characters in this story that you will get attached to that end up dying or not being in the story at all or as much as they were before. This story has chances for different outcomes depending on asks, but there are some things I have set in stone and a few of them involve these themes, so please be mindful of that. The tags to blacklist to avoid updates that touch on this specifically are #character death or #character removal.

DISTURBING CONTENT: This is vaguely worded because it is a bit of broad umbrella. There may be themes of body horror, gore, violent/upsetting/disturbing depictions of death (not any worse than Lew’s death, if it ever is I’ll be sure to specify ahead of time), creepy/unsettling designs and environments, so on and so forth. The tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include anything I consider to be disturbing to view is #disturbing content.

ANGST: This story will get sad, and broach on themes of abandonment, loss, trauma, depression, paranoia, self-hate, and things in this nature. What I can immediately promise is this story will NEVER have themes of suicide or self-harm. I do not feel this story needs to go there, nor do I wish to take it there. Also, while there is angst, I do not believe in beating characters up mercilessly- the angst is for the story and their development. This is not going to be a story that is only angsty. However, if any sort of angst upsets you, the tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include heavier, angstier themes is #angst.

PARANOIA: A few of the characters often get a sense of being hunted or followed, or something lurking around the corner, which can be upsetting to some viewers. A few characters may occasionally have moments where they express their anxieties in depth. The tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include heavy mentions of paranoia/depictions of it/make the characters (and potentially audience) feel paranoid is #paranoia.

UNREALITY: Lewis has some powers that can warp space and create illusions, and potentially will be in situations where he uses them in ways that could mess with people’s perception of reality. This can be very uncomfortable for some people to view, so in updates where this may happen, the tag to blacklist is #unreality.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES: This story will NEVER be explicitly NSFW, and will rarely ever feature these themes at all. It is mainly for the occasional joke here and there, but absolutely nothing more. However, if any implications of something slightly more adult make you uncomfortable, the tag to blacklist here is #suggestive themes.

ANIMAL HARM: Mystery may enter situations where he ends up getting hurt during this story, though he will never endure any kind of situations that mimic real life animal abuse. If seeing an animal be harmed in any way remotely upsets you, the tag here to blacklist is #animal harm. 

~~~

If you made it all the way to the bottom, you’re a champ!!! While posts will definitely not be this long going forward, I really appreciate you taking the time to read this!

[ichayalovesyou]

TOS Crew-Phobias

Been thinking about And The Children Shall Lead and how the kids play on everyone’s inner Beast, and trying to decipher what fears each crew member may have based on what the children made them do and see.

The asterisk means it’s either an approximation because their fear is too specific, or if they had this fear they’ve since developed means of coping

James Kirk: Autophobia

Autophobia: Fear of being alone

I feel like this one’s pretty obvious. People tend to make the argument that the Enterprise (the ship itself) is Kirk’s overpowering true love, but I don’t think that’s it. It’s more the friends and the life that he’s made within The Enterprise that he’s terrified of losing. Some of the places we see Jim at his most upset and afraid in the series are when he feels he’s been abandoned or is forcibly (and seemingly permanently) separated from the crew. How visibly upset he is on the empty Enterprise in This Side of Paradise and The Mark of Gideon, lashing out at Spock when the crew reluctantly relieves him of duty in The Deadly Years, and his deep resentment toward Deela when she kidnaps him in Wink of An Eye. This is also further reinforced by his actions in Star Trek: The Motion Picture & The Search for Spock. He’s also one of the two characters (the other being Sulu) where his fear counts as an actual phobia and not a hypothetical phobia, ingrained personality trait, or symptom of Neurodivergence.

S’chn T’gai Spock: *OCD (fear of losing control)

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Obsessive thoughts that lead to repetitive actions.

If anything what we might perceive as OCD-like (or at least Neurodivergent) behavior may be typical of the Vulcan condition. I don’t think Spock has OCD, or at least I don’t know enough about it to say for sure, but what came up whenever I looked up “fear of hurting others/losing control” it came up without fail. While we don’t actually get to see whatever is making Spock’s hand tremble, momentarily defy orders and act as though everything is fine. I think we can surmise that his Beast convinced him that following the order would somehow hurt Jim or that he would be possessed/controlled to do so. Operation: Annihilate, Amok Time, Plato’s Stepchildren and essentially Spock’s whole character arc prove this to be true.

Bones: *Hyper-Empathy/Thanatophobia

Thanatophobia: Fear of death, dying, watching others die and/or others watching you die

There is a headcanon that Dr. McCoy is autistic with the hyper-empathy symptom, meaning he has a really hard time watching others suffer. This may have been the reason he became a doctor in the first place, or became worse/was triggered by his father’s death. While not technically a phobia and we don’t see Bones face his Beast in ATCSL. Evidence from other episodes supports this, Miri, Metamorphosis, Plato’s Stepchildren, The Empath, and For The World is Hollow & I Have Touched The Sky all heavily support this.

Scotty-Astrophobia

Astrophobia: Fear of getting lost or dying in space

Seems like kind of a ridiculous fear for someone who builds, maintains, and lives starships to have right? Maybe, but if that is something he’s deeply afraid of, it would make his surpassing ability to make certain the ship doesn’t explode despite impossible odds make plenty of sense. I don’t think it’s space itself that freaks Scotty out, it’s the idea of being stuck out there and/or suffering the cold and grizzly death that is getting sucked out into space does. So he does everything in his power to ensure that never happens. Out of all the supporting characters, the events of the episode that sparked this post aside, Scotty seems to have the best handle on his fear, the most condemning evidence that he’s got Astrophobia occurs later in season 3. He freezes up in the Jeffrey’s Tube during delicate work in That Which Survives. As well as telling his love interest that being bone deep afraid that you’re going to die in the cold vacuum of space is a perfectly normal thing to constantly think about in Lights of Zetar. Still, he is uncommonly steely-eyed and level headed whenever he has the con, even in the face of his fear. I used to theorize that maybe he was afraid of failure/imperfection, but Scotty’s Jerry-Rigs and Duct-tape way of doing things doesn’t lend itself to that idea. What stuck out to me was his comment “we’ll all be lost, forever lost!” in And The Children Shall Lead that made me think Astrophobia would be a good fit.

Nyota Uhura-Nosophobia

Nosophobia: Fear of contracting deadly disease

Uhura’s fear seems to be dying a slow and painful death by disease, one where she is irrevocably physically/mentally altered by her suffering. There’s evidence for this when she sees the appeal of immortality in I, Mudd, and that she’s scared she’ll end up like Chekov in The Tholian Web. Nosophobia is not hypochondria (convincing yourself that you have a disease/compulsively self-diagnosing) or germaphobia (extreme fear of germs and sickness). Nosophobia is more long term, an irrational fear of things like cancer and Alzheimer’s and other such conditions as well as potentially deadly viruses. It seems to me that if Uhura were to die she’d rather it be quick and painless rather than endure that sort of battle.

Hikaru Sulu-Cleithrophobia

Cleithrophobia: Fear of being trapped

Again, someone I thought maybe was afraid of failure (afraid of failing by destroying the ship with the swords in ATCSL) before I picked up on a very interesting pattern I noticed from The Corbomite Maneuver. Sulu gets really fatalistic and/or agitated when it seems like he’s trapped with no way out. He hyper fixates on the countdown when their trapped and condemned to destruction by Balok in The Corbomite Maneuver, he makes dark jokes while trapped and freezing to death on the planet from The Enemy Within. He seizes up instead of fleeing or fighting the Law Givers in Return if The Archons, and even panics a little when they’re trapped by the giant hand in Who Mourns For Adonais (and usually Sulu is insanely chill under pressure). Cleithrophobia gets confused with Claustrophobia often, but Celthrophobia has much more emphasis on the trapped and no way out elements than just enclosed spaces. So him being terrified by being unable to move because it’s surrounded by swords actually makes a lot of sense! Honestly, I find it uniquely fitting that a flyboy with an enthusiasm for growing things would be agitated by places that do not allow growth or flight.

Pavel Chekov-Proditophobia (in reverse)

Proditophobia: Fear of betrayal

Proditophobia is the fear of being betrayed, but there is more evidence to suggest that Pavel is waaaaay more terrified of betraying or being disloyal rather than being the victim of that action. There’s certainly evidence for it in both The Trouble with Tribbles and Day of The Dove, where he is driven to act out violently on the behalf of those he feels deep loyalty towards, in his head, allowing someone else’s reputation to be trashed counts as disloyalty. And The Children Shall Lead also shows us, at least at this point in Chekov’s character development, he feels more loyalty to Starfleet than the Enterprise crew (something that certainly changes/evolves by the time the movies roll around). The case might even have been that he was all bark and no bite and really wasn’t actually going to kill his Captain or mentor, he was just hoping they’d believe him so that they’d go peacefully and he wouldn’t have to worry about betraying Starfleet at all. I used to think maybe he feared punishment or retribution, but he’d never break any rules if that were the case, and if I know anything about this feral gremlin of an Ensign, he’ll do that in a split second if someone questions his loyalty.

[dolliedarlin]

s a f e  i n  h i s  a r m s ⏤katsuki b. 

s u m m a r y : after rescuing you during a rescue exercise gone wrong, now Bakugou can't shake you off from clinging onto his arm.

l e n g t h : 2.9k

g e n r e : fluff

w a r n i n g s : cursing from our beloved explosion boy

p a i r i n g : bakugou katsuki x f.reader

a / n : this idea came out of nowhere so instantly got to writing it. i'm sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. this honestly gives me Juvia and Gray vibes from Fairy Tail...they were my favorite couple after all so, yeah...even reader has a water quirk -oopsie! whelp! we can see where my inspiration comes from at least. enjoy they read my lovelies!

It all started when Bakugou saved you during a rescue exercise that went horribly wrong for you.

The ceiling had collapsed from above you and, no matter how fast you were at trying to avoid the falling debris, it was still able to trap your leg. With it's crushing weight, several bones in your leg were snapped, leaving you vulnerable and immobile. Your horrifying cry of pain could be heard throughout the building as it bounced off the walls, alerting your classmates, who were sent into an instant panic.

Most of them had traversed through the fragile maze left by the torn-down structure as you had stubbornly stayed behind to ensure that everything transpired smoothly behind your teammates. With the frail state of the infrastructure, it was difficult for your team to travel back to your location without possibly triggering further collateral damage that could potentially cause further harm to you.

Things weren't looking their brightest.

The pain in your leg had crawled up the rest of your body and paralysed you with its stinging bite. It almost brought tears to your eyes but you had to be strong, you couldn't just sit around and wait for help. That isn't what a future hero should do. With the dry air around you, you wouldn't be able to use your quirk so you got started on trying to push away the sizable chunk of ceiling that had trapped your leg beneath it yourself.

It didn't take long before you realised that your attempts were futile. Judging from the way your arms shock under the weight as you awkwardly gripped at the ceiling fragment, you wouldn't be able to get out on your own. Losing hope, you let your tears accumulate to the surface of your eyes and were just about to let them flood over your lashes when an explosion broke a hole in the wall to the right of you. The instant you turned to its direction, your (e/c) orbs met with the piercing red eyes of Bakugou. The explosive blonde didn't say anything and just hurried to your side with a scowl, easily lifting the weight off of your leg before delivering a blast that pushed the hard stone ceiling over onto it's back. You were about to say your thanks when the blonde saw the state of your leg and grumbled as he picked you up in his arms and made a run for the exit he had made.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye, primarily because the jumbled emotions you were going through was hard to process individually as well as conjointly. However, one thing that you were sure of as you stared up at the frowning blonde carrying you in his arms, was that you had never felt safer than in that moment.

After that day, the way you acted around Bakugou was never the same.

You never really had a fixed friendship group. Sometimes you would sit with Midoriya and his friends, sometimes with the Bakusquad, sometimes with the rest of your classmates (but not Mineta) and even with those from class 2B. However, you were beginning to hang around the Bakusquad more and more after the incident of your rescue.

None of them really complained about it, not even Bakugou, in fact, they loved that you were spending time with them, especially Mina as she finally had another girl to help her through the other boys' antics. It was a surprising thing coming from her, seeing as she partook in mischievous antics of her own from time to time, sometimes, even joining in with Kaminari and Sero's playful pranks.

Truthfully, you seemed to be the only other level-headed person aside from Kirishima in Baukgou's eyes so, although he was grumbling under his breath at first, he wasn't too opposed at your newly established presence amongst the group of 'annoying weirdos that followed him around'.

This was a good sign for you and helped you to quickly get comfortable around the blonde.

Nobody knew this about you at the time but you're actually a very affectionate person, you just haven't been able to find someone to direct that affection towards so you've been a bit touch-staved. That was getting fixed really soon, however, because, now, you know exactly who to shower your affection on.

It started with little things such as simply standing closer to Bakugou than usual. He would throw you a narrowed glare but after you flashed him a smile, he would relent with a huff as he turned his attention away from you. It didn't take long for him to get used to you being so close but the instant he had grown familiar with your close proximity, you gave him a reason to send another harsh stare and growl your way.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to my hand you stupid extra?!" he snapped at you, almost showering you in saliva from the way he was shouting in your face.

"Holding your hand," you replied bluntly, flashing a wide grin up at him with your eyes closed. In protest, the explosive blonde tried to tug your hand away, shouting demands for you to let go. This is when he realised that you had suddenly grown a monstrous amount of strength as he wasn't able to successfully pull his hand away from you. In fact, his tugging had the opposite effect and encouraged you, to not only, interlace your fingers with his but also to hug his arm to your chest using your other hand.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Don't you like holding my hand, Bakugou?" you asked with an endearing pout and subtle whine in your voice as you looked up at him with big teary eyes.

"NO! I DON'T!" his hopes of getting you to let go proved futile as you just continued to smile and hold him tightly. Eventually, he gave up and let you cuddle his arm throughout the school day, glaring at the people that dared to look and point. Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina all commented on his laughable position, chuckling under their breath at how it didn't suit him to be so close and affectionate with a girl.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! SAY THAT AGAIN YOU BASTARDS AND I'LL BLAST YOUR FACES OFF!" he was about to chase them down as they shouted and ran away from him, their laughter hanging in the air. If only you weren't still hugging his arm.

"Don't do that Bakugou," you pouted and pressed your cheek into his shoulder.

"Hah?" he gave you a look of offended confusion. No one dared to keep him from beating up those idiots, who called themselves his friends, before.

"I'll have to let go of your arm if you do that,"

Bakugou doesn't know why but he didn't put up much of a fight after seeing how dejected you looked at the idea of having to let go of his arm.

As time progressed, many people grew bolder in teasing Bakugou as your holds on the male grew even more restricted, which gave them ample time to run away if need be.

One day, when you had been cuddling into Bakugou's side whilst hanging out in the common room with the rest of his group, Kaminari couldn't hold back his jealousy at the fact that someone as ill-tempered as Bakugou was getting more attention from a girl than he was.

"I can't believe you get cuddles from (Y/N) every day, Bakugou," Kaminari began as you giggled in return, "It's Not Fair!" the electric emitter cried with tears in his eyes.

"Then you have her!" Bakugou barked, attempting to pry you off him just to throw you at Kaminari as you flashed the explosive boy an extremely upset expression.

"No!" you cried, clinging onto him as tightly as possible, "I only wanna cuddle Bakugou!"

At this, the explosion quirk user sighed in exasperation and slumped back into his seat on the sofa, letting you sit on his lap and nuzzling into his chest as his arms stayed immobile at his sides. In the background, Kirishima set about comforting Kaminari as Mina and Sero laughed at the comical scene before them.

Your need to cuddle and be close to Bakugou didn't stop there, however, you even had the guts to embrace him at inconvenient times.

There were instances where Bakugou would be cooking dinner in the dorm kitchen and you'd come up to hug him from behind. His only response to your embrace, after you had done this to him time and time again, was to continue cooking and to cook enough for the two of you.

The first few times you were valiant enough to bring the red-eyed temper teen into your arms, he had put up his usual fight before ultimately giving up. The case would be that you'd skip up to him with your usual close-eyed smile, pull him into a hug that he wouldn't return as he'd do his best to continue whatever it was that he was doing, treating you like dead-weight hanging off his torso. Sometimes, he needed to throw you over his shoulder or carry you in his arms to be able to do whatever he had to do properly.

Take for example, walking up a set of stairs, he would throw you over his shoulder and make his way up the steps as quickly as possible to ensure that fewer people saw. Times when you had been particularly eager to stand beside him, even when he's training, he'd use you for practice.

It started off as your idea, actually.

"Why don't you pretend that I'm an injured person and carry me in your arms as you run to safety?" you suggested as you held your arms out, smiling happily up at him. He was stubborn at first but eventually, he was carrying you in his arms as he ran laps on the UA track lines. It felt so good to be in his arms again that you would always end up nuzzling your face into his neck no matter how sweaty he got.

"Don't do that, idiot. I'm fucking sweaty!" he'd reprimand you often.

"But I like your sweat Bakugou,"

"HAH?!"

"It saved me that one time and I'm sure it'll save me and others many more times in the future too," you'll never forget the tomato-red blush his face flourished into that day.

Nobody knows why you came across as so persuasive to the blonde that he let you do whatever you wanted. However, from their observations and the speculation that stayed between the rest of class 1A ended up reasoning that Bakugou was too touch-starved to willingly fight you off him. It was cute. The two of you were secretly dubbed the cutest couple in class 1A despite not officially dating.

Your admirable persistence at staying beside Bakugou at all hours of the day has continued for several months, and now, Bakugou as well as the rest of your classmates, wouldn't be able to see you without seeing the explosive blonde close by. Often times, you would cuddle up to him on the common room sofas as he read a book or played the games he was forced into doing by his 'idiot' friends. Your interactions were amusing to watch and helped the rest of your classmates see a different side to Bakugou.

The desire you had to stay by Bakugou's side flourished and blossomed over the months as your initiation on being close to him made you learn more endearing things about him. He's very misunderstood so you're glad you took the time to get to know him.

"You don't mean to be mean, do you, Katsuki?" you whispered his name with the most affection and ever so gently as you reached up a hand to tenderly caress his sleeping face. He had managed to fall asleep with everyone else at a weekend night together. The previous week had been exhausting and so the Bakusquad suggested an evening of fun to lift the weight of stress off everyone's shoulders before another week of stress is piled on top of them again. "I sometimes wish more people can see the good in you," you continued, suppressing a yawn, "but I'm greedy,"

Bakugou will never admit that he heard your little confession that night as you slipped into the world of sleep cuddled into his chest atop him.

As of recently, you had been pestering Bakugou to hug you back whenever you went up to embrace him but he wasn't going to willingly comply until he found out why exactly you were being so clingy. He knows he isn't the best person to be affectionate with and that you somehow were able to see through that, not that he would ever admit to there being something deeper going on behind his constant untamable temper.

The blonde can see you with so many other guys who were more deserving of you than he was, like Kirishima and even that stupid Deku. No matter how irritated it made him feel to see you with other guys, he knows that it was ultimately better for you to be affectionate towards them than him. It didn't make sense to that someone like you was always so desperate to be beside someone like him.

The day he saved you during the rescue exercise was a one-time thing. That couldn't be your only reason. Bakugou needed to know your way of thinking and decide for himself if it was equitable enough to let you continue what you were doing or to push you towards someone else, whether you do it willingly or not, he didn't care. He needed to focus on becoming the number one hero, not you.

It wasn't until the class had another hero rescue exercise that Bakugou finally got an answer to the reasoning behind your behavior towards him.

Somehow, the two of you ended up trapped together. Bakugou could easily cause an explosion to get out but not without causing the rest of the building collapse atop both of you at a rate and amount that would overwhelm the explosion emitter. Your water emitting quirk was limited at the moisture in the dry air surrounding you so you wouldn't be able to help much if you wanted to.

Despite the dire situation, you were still smiling and moving about without a care in the world.

"What are you smiling about idiot?!" Bakugou snapped at you, his frustration at his helpless situation making him act out, what made it all the more infuriating, however, was knowing that you knew from the gentle and understanding smile you directed towards him.

"Because you're with me Bakugou," he was speechless, "whenever I'm with you, I know I'm safe so I can be calm and think of things rationally," your smile only grew at his stunned and blinking expression, it took a moment but a boost of Bakugou's ego was soon rushing in as he felt his heart do something weird in his chest. It made him blush but you didn't need to see that so he quickly turned away so that the only evidence of the blush on his face you witnessed was at the tips of his ears, "in fact, I think I have an idea on how to get out,"

Using your water quirk, you drew as much moisture from the air as you could before you took a limited amount from your lungs. You fashioned the water in your hands into a gentle drill that you then used to dig your way out from the building. You needed to take multiple breaks, however, as utilising water from your lungs required you to hold your breath but in no time at all, you and Bakugou were out and safe.

After that day, Bakugou finally hugged you back every time you embraced him.

He became less grumbly at the fact that you were always reaching out to touch and cuddle up to him, actually, he made it a point that you would only want to be close to him and no one else. Everyone practically saw the hidden smirk on his lips every time he pressed your happily smiling face into his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist tightly, with his smirk all the boys around him he would glower at as if to stake his claim over you and the affection you were showering him with.

Bakugou could get used to this. He should've given you a chance earlier because he surprisingly liked having you wrapped up in his arms, your face tucked into the crook of his neck, your chest pressed up against his as your arms wrapped around his torso.

"Katsuki," you looked up at him as he grunted in return, maneuvering your face back into the junction between his shoulder and neck. It was a place that your face fit perfectly into and he needed you to always have your face pressed up against that area or else his neck would feel too exposed and naked, "since you're okay with hugging me back now..."

"What is it?" you didn't answer so he pulled away to look you in the eyes, "Spit it out,"

"Can I have a kiss?"

“Uh-“

n a v i . | bnha mlist

[aliet-jayne]

isaac? :3c

HIM HIMHIM

Sexuality Headcanon: you see he's already canonly gay and canonly demiace so there's only so much to hc, saving how for he fits on the ace spectrum, which kai mentioned a while ago to someone was fine to mess with a tad bcause trying to identify where exactly on the aspec you fall is finicky and difficult to pinpoint anyways. ACTUALLY now that I think about it I do pretty often consider him... probably demi-aro as well, but also simply more likely to have romantic attraction to someone than sexual once they meet the qualifications for either. that's just the vibe in my head tho this is not upset by seeing different portrayals about it at all. and also if he's at a point where/if he manages to like multiple people. poly. obtaining this however assumes that he not only has the emotional comprehension, initiative, and articulation to establish a relationship with one person, but in fact 2+ persons. he can't do that. probably they'd have to come to this conclusion and propose it first.

Gender Headcanon: that depends on my mood lol. most often either cis or mlm nb, typically either agender or a little bit genderfluid about it perhaps or both.

A ship I have with said character: OTPs isward and whatever the ship name is for drew's there too. with one of the jocks could be interesting potentially I think I'd like to see that sometime.

A BROTP I have with said character: Cody called him a little knife man.

A NOTP I have with said character: honestly nevin and Chris w him. not in the sense that I dislike content of them together or it existing. They're both dynamics that appeal to me! but I tried a few times and simply could never make myself care. Neither ship invokes any particular feelings or keep my attention, so I frankly just don't think about it much. (wasn't always the case, but currently this happens to be true for me and Nevin-or-Chris + everyone else that isn't each other, so they can go candoodle in peace ig.) also Felix or the evil jocks + Isaac. I've seen a little bit of it and I simply don't have any feelings about the concept, probably even less so than the above since while they're fun to watch cause problems, they exist solely to cause problems and give Cody jock lore so I'm not actual attached of them as people, as opposed to Nevin and Chris who obviously we're all already fond of as individual characters. as for actual NOTP in terms of NOTP. gross age dynamics, and the girls, I guess? The obvious? (one of those is worse than the other, but nonetheless)

A random headcanon: if I remember right it's outright canon he doesn't tell his parents jack because he doesn't want to deal with the trouble of it, but I think about this a lot so putting it here anyways?? and I'm definitely projecting at him about something that I don't even do anymore, (albeit I think everyone has to do this to some extent, ESPECIALLY in terms of you what you mention to your parents when you're a teenager, because the truth is that they genuinely don't need to know all about everything always. He's just bad about it worse.) but he has a habit of. simply not mentioning things that happen if he decides that it being mentioned won't directly a trigger an immediately drastic tangible improvement, and occasionally even when it would. hes only sometimes right that it won't. Telling his parents he got thrown into a bookcase isn't going to unconcussion him, so while there's not going to be negative consequences from telling them, it sure would be slightly inconvenient for him to explain and upsetting for them to find out about and then might try to do something about, and potentially lead to the magicky stuff being mentioned to them, which he hasn't told them about because.... uh. well, not that they would hurt him, but it could complicate things? and he wouldn't gain anything from them knowing, so it would be the same level of positive impact regardless, except that he wouldn't have to hide it which doesn't matter that much, not that he's... hiding it, exactly, but net no change vs the potential for it to be slightly worse or more annoying or inconvenient or take energy or be awkward or upsetting somehow without it curing cancer or anything, so yes he is actually. that said by now it'd kind of have to be a habit because I don't think he thinks enough in general to consciously be making that decision this much. negative points in thinking thoughts and negative points in communication. At this point I feel like it would take a BIG BIG payoff to get to him be open about Literally Anything, and regardless of whether he's right about the amount knowing about things will or won't fix, EMOTIONALLY he sure is a lot worse off for it. tbh I'm not even sure if this is technically even headcanon because it's kind of just an apsect of canon I latched onto really hard and had thoughts about. Unrelated but when he was younger (middle school + first grade probably) he bit people. He just did. If he was in a situation where biting someone would help him enough he would do it again. also unrelated again but I think he gets kind of weak about being kissed on the neck.

General Opinion over said character: I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT AND EVERY TIME SOMEONE MAKES CONTENT ABOUT HIM I GET SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

[write-baby-write]

Why Rating Your Work Matters

In my many years of lurking around or actively being part of fandoms, I've seen a lot of fanfic authors ignore ratings. But they shouldn’t. Ratings are fundamental tools in many forms of fictional and entertainment pieces, whether its creator do it professionally or not. Which is why I don’t understand the hesitation to use it. But instead of trying to understand why, I’ll give you reasons to use it and how you can do it properly.

It can be hard to know how to rate your work. Unless you started writing fics in a website which includes ratings as a requirement to post fics, most likely new fanfic authors have no idea why they should add ratings. Which it is alright, I’ve been there. And I’m sure very few people will judge you for not knowing.

In my personal experience, I thought it was easy to rate fics. Because we see ratings all the time on movies, series, music and games, I believed it wasn’t that hard. But once I started writing, I found so many forms of rating systems (from Motion Picture Association of America’s Rating Board to citrus scale). Aside from that, the country I live has its own rating system, whic is so different from what I see in movies, games and fanworks. So I know it can be confusing. Yet, my mission is to uncomplicate things and help. So, let’s start.

Ratings exist to tell the reader who’s the author’s target audience. It isn’t as specific as a warning, but it gives them an idea of the subjects they might find in it. To have a better notion of how it works, let’s consider some rating components specified by Motion Picture Association: language, violence, drugs and sex.

General (G, K, K+ | age 9 and below) is a rating suitable for most people, including children. Fanfics rated as general are usually fluff and they lack mentions of sex or substance abuse. Violence and language are rarely seen. They can be vaguely mentioned, but never described with details (a fade to black scene before an act of violence happens or characters saying shoot instead of shit). I’ve seen writers say mild language can be included and avoid angst. But that’s up to each author.

Teen (T, PG, orange | age: 13 to 15) is a rating used to content suitable for audience over thirteen years old. Readers may find curse words, but sex, drugs and violence are still just mentioned or briefly described. Kids from age 10 to 12 aren’t included here is because they’re in a gray area where certain topics rated teen will be okay for them, but most of time, they’re still part of general audiences.

Mature (M, R, lime | age: 16+) is used for works unsuitable for minor audiences. Readers should expect some description of violence, sex, curse words and substance abuse, but not in so many details. Though these mature and explicit ratings are quite similar, the first is more focused on scenes involving complex emotional issues like mental illnesses, consequences of violence in its many forms and grief. Given that these themes can be upsetting, fanworks with this rating often come with specific warnings for triggering subjects.

Explicit (NC-17, E, MA, lemon | age: 18+) is also unsuitable for minor audiences. But unlike mature, fanworks with this rating usually contain extreme violence, substance abuse and graphic description of sex. Some works might need specific warnings for triggering subjects.

If you consider those main topics and the level of details you used to describe them, you’ll be able to see your target audience and choose the appropriate rating to your fanwork. This is a crucial item to promote your fanfic. It shows that you know and care about the person who will read your fic because putting that rating there says “hey, this is for you!” or “nope! Try again in a few years”.

But in case you still wondering why it’s so important if you’re already using warnings, here’s something you should know: warnings are only necessary for works that have potentially disturbing content. Language, light to moderate alcohol consumption, betrayal, fanfiction genres, sexual innuendos and common sexual activities aren’t triggering subjects for most people. Therefore, you don’t need to add warnings all the time. E.g. if your fic is rated as mature or explicit, you don’t need to add warning for language because your readers will expect curse words in it.

When rating a work, keep in mind that explicit doesn’t mean dark. You can write fluff in a fanfiction rated as explicit (I do it all the time). Higher ratings don’t demand warnings every single time. What you have to do is to know clearly the story you’re writing to be sure your readers will only be caught by surprise with plot twists, not because you failed to let them know what they can expect of your work.

Did I miss any topics? Do you have any suggestions? Let me know by commenting, reblogging or sending me a message/ask.

Happy writing/reading!

[where-theres-smoak-2]

This Needs To Stop.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics, p*dopilia, grooming, mental health and r*cism. 

Ok so this is a bit of a rant so apologies for that, I usually try to stay away from sensitive or controversial topics but this is something that I am passionate about and that I think is important. Also I just want to say that I am in no way directing this to the entirety of the M*lina fandom, I know most are just enjoying their ship, but there are those few who are deliberately seeking out darklina posts or are cross tagging and coming into darklina’s asks and just generally harassing the fandom which sadly I am seeing happen more and more often. Also I do feel like this can apply to all fandoms not just exclusively shadow and bone/ grishaverse, its just this is the one I am experiencing it in right now.   

I’ve seen antis call darkling/darklina fans many problematic things, delusional, mentally ill, ab*se apologists. They also like throwing around words like grooming and p*dophile. The thing that makes me angry about this is that they are taking sensitive topics, topics that many users have been effected by and they are using them to attack shippers merely for liking a character or ship that they don’t. What is even more frustrating is they seem to be throwing these words around without evening fully understanding what they even mean. For example the claim that the Darkling is a p*dophile because Alina is only 17 in the books. Well p*dophilia is a psychiatric disorder where adults are attracted to children and in order for it to be classed as p*dophilia the child involved has to be 13 or younger. A 16 year old can be diagnosed as a p*dophile if they become attracted to a child that is five years or more younger than them. So the relationship between the Darkling and Alina does not meet the criteria to be categorised this way as Alina is over the age of 13. As for it being a case of Alina is underaged, well, for one that depends on where in the world you are. This is based on imperial russia, in russia the age of consent is 16. This means that a 16 year old can have a sexual relationship with a 30 year old, a 70 year old or a 500 year old immortal and in a court of law it is still legal, whatever your own moral issues around age gaps might be. Even then it can be argued that it is irrelevant because, as with most historical literature where young girls marry older men, you cannot put modern day concepts onto them. Like I said this story is based on Imperial Russia, the life expectancy of a person in that time was around 30 years old. That means a 15 year old girl is already half way through her life, she is literally middle aged. It is at this point usually that girls started to prepare to get married and have children and yes sometimes it was to an older man because men were expected to provide for their wife and family which means having a house and job and means to support a family which an older man was more likely to have. My point is a 15-17 year old in say Imperial Russia is not the same as a 15-17 year old in modern day therefore you can’t take modern day laws and morals and place them onto that situation, it doesn’t work, they lived completely different lives. In Alina’s world, she is at the age where girls might get married and her being courted by a man of the general’s status would have been a normal occurrence, for her to have caught the attention of someone with his standing would have been considered very advantageous for her. I mean she literally gets two marriage proposals in book 2, where I believe she is still 17, and Nikolai is talking about how if she marries him it’ll be in name only and they can make Mal her guard so she can do the horizontal tango with him whenever she feels like it, so clearly the characters themselves feel like Alina is at an age where she can, one get married, and two be engaging in a sexual relationship. 

So why does all of this matter? Well it matters because people reading these posts, asks and comments left on posts, may be victims of p*dophilia and grooming. A lot of these comments don’t have trigger warnings and when you are talking about sensitive and triggering topics like this you need to be careful and when you are talking about them without even really understanding them, and where they can’t apply to the characters you are talking about anyway, then you are potentially triggering someone needlessly because you didn’t need to be talking about it in the first place, I hope I am making sense there. I am not saying don’t talk about these subjects if you do think they are relevant, I am saying make sure you do the research, that you understand the subject you are addressing and when you do talk about it do it in a respectful manner, don’t throw it out there in an angry spew accompanied by alot of other derogatory words because that won’t help anyone.     

Another subject I want to talk about is I am also seeing a lot of posts about how darklinas must be delusional or mentally unwell. This, again, is hurtful and harmful. Mental illness for a very long time has had a stigma around it, one that makes the person suffering from it feel weak and ashamed. There was always the attitude of if you are mentally ill then there is something wrong with you, or the attitude of oh just get over it, cheer up, think a different way. But mental illness isn’t just a state of emotion its often caused by hormonal imbalances and chemicals. Genetics can also play a part. There is nothing wrong with someone who is mentally ill their brain is just wired a different way. I also find it problematic when people throw around the word delusional. Maybe its nothing to you, just a word, but alot of mental illnesses have actual delusions as one of their symptoms. These can be scary and upsetting and are outside the control of the person experiencing them. Making the suggestion that liking a particular ships means you are delusional is potentially very triggering to those who do battle delusions and have fought to overcome them. The stigma around mental illness has prevented alot of people suffering from mental illness from seeking help out of shame or embarrassment or even out of fear of being judged and although I do feel like as a society we’ve become alot more open about mental health and alot more accepting there is still a long way to go. When antis start saying things like ‘I can’t believe people ship this, they must be mentally ill,’ or ‘they must be sick in the head’, or ‘if you like this ship than you must be delusional’ not only are they being incredibly prejudice against people who have mental illnesses but it is also so harmful because if there is someone reading that post who is struggling with their mental health and are considering seeking help then you’ve just made them feel more ashamed, more like there is something wrong with them which will make them even less likely to seek out help and as I said before there isn’t anything wrong with a person who has a mental health condition they are just different from you. That doesn’t give you the right to make them feel like they are less capable of deciding what they do or do not like or even what they should or should not like to be classified as a ‘normal’ person. 

The most latest problematic statements I’ve seen have been those accusing Darklina’s of being r*cist. This one I found a bit funny in a it’s not funny kind of way. I just don’t think there is much logic behind this view point. I’m not sure I understand the antis reasoning here. Mostly because I’m pretty sure the majority of the Darklina fandom comes from the books where Mal is described as being a white, brown haired, blue eyed guy. Funnily enough the Darkling is described as being able to pass for Shu, though to be clear it isn’t confirmed that he is a POC, but out of the two in the books the Darkling is more likely to be a POC than Mal. On top of that whilst many darklina fans have made it clear they are not a fan of Mal in the books many have said they like the show version of Mal who, as we all know, the actor Archie is a POC. So by anti logic darklinas are all r*cist because they don’t like book Mal who is depicted as white but we do like show Mal who is a POC. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I do understand that there were some ‘fans’ who made inappropriate and r*cist comments to some cast members including Archie and I would never ever condone that no matter who I ship. But you also can’t condemn an entire fandom just because of the actions of a select few. I don’t judge all M*linas for that one fan who accused Ben of being a pr*dator and p*dophile because of his friendship with Jessie. Once again my point is r*cism is a serious topic and not something someone should use as a retort or comeback to someone not shipping your ship. When we use these words casually it makes it less likely that they’ll be taking seriously when they really do need to be taken seriously, when they really are relevant to what is happening. If we keep using them so casually then when we really do need to talk about them, when it really matters, people will just shrug and go ‘its just antis being antis.’ 

I think it is possible for people to like different things, to debate and analyse different relationships and characters and talk about what flaws they may have in a respectful manner. I wouldn’t say I am anti m*lina but at the same time there are things about them that I find problematic but when I talk about those things I hope I do so in a way that doesn’t demean those who do like the ship. I understand that people will have a different interpretation than me and whilst I might not understand where their thinking comes from or why they have a particular opinion I would never make the assumption that they are mentally unwell or make judgements on their character or morals. I try to think about the words I am writing. I know how easy it can be to just throw a word out there without thinking about it. I used to use the word delusional to describe fans of certain ships, but when I recognised how damaging and problematic that was I stopped and I changed my behaviour because it was never my intention to hurt others. I guess the main message I am trying to convey here is we need to be careful with our words they’re not as insignificant as we might think.