#because i can't tell you how many times i've read articles and posts and everything where blind people ask for a regular blind character

[engagemythrusters]

It would be nice if Star Wars actually treated their "good" disabled characters as actual disabled characters.

We see a lot of "bad" disabled characters have viewable disabling disabilities (ex: the latest The Bad Batch episode featured a cane-user with a prosthetic arm. This man was a hoarder of resources, and quite greedy and self-serving. Disability=hoarding resources is a TERRIBLE thing for Star Wars to highlight, but there they just went. That's a whole post I can make on its own, but I digress.)

But there are so few times that Star Wars truly acknowledges its disabled characters' disability in a positive light. It is always swept under the rug and forgotten about. This is what we have for our disabled "good" characters:

Anakin's hand only ever has problems twice--both of which aren't even true issues. His hand just gets caught by magnets. That's it. Sure, one time a little spark went through it durring the Zillo Beast arc, but despite all other mechanical appliances dying and short-circuting, Anakin's mechanical prosthetic does NOT. They didn't want to show Anakin without the use of his hand. Oh and he's turned into the "bad" character when his disability becomes actually acknowledged. Facisit disabled person... how charming (sarcasm).

Luke's prosthetic hand also does not cause him any true issues--again, minor inconveniences.

Echo's prosthetics are not acknowledged, ever. They act as if Echo has two hands, and he's constantly seen holding stuff as if he has two hands. Sorry, but he can't balance a giant ass box on a scomp like that. He would have to compensate--move his arm so that it balances differently.

Tech does not need to be more than autistic-coded. It's not a requirement to label everything. However, he has only had issues with his autism once. That's a good first step! But it's just a first step. Not to mention, he's a whitewashed savant. This is the most blatant, frustrating autism stereotype. I've already made a post about this.

Kanan and Chirrut's blindness is perhaps the most visibly disabling disability in any of the shows; however, said blindness is magically compensated for by the Force. They both still struggles with many things, which is a good change of pace, but ultimatley, it's not the representation it's meant to be. And, for Kanan, it is CURED at the end, before he DIES. Chirrut ALSO dies. I think that speaks for itself.

Yes, they are still disabled. That is not in question. But it's repackaged in a 'non-disabling' sense. Because why show disability when everything can be magically fixed? Why show disabled characters having realistic issues with their disability when it could be disabled characters made palatable for an abled audience?

Yes, a good number of disabled people would like to be, for lack of a truly appropriate term, ""fixed"" (a whole different topic, though--and a huge one at that). I don't doubt many amputees would probably like the a prosthetic like Anakin's. And yes, it would be nice to be so easily and readily accepted as disabled people like they are in Star Wars.

However.

The continued treatment of disabled people as if they aren't disabled is a massive problem in today's, real-life world. Because we don't have that luxury of being treated as nicely. So as great as it is to dream of a life where we're accepted as normal, IT IS IMPORTANT TO VIEW THEIR DISABILITY AS NORMAL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

It is necessary to see openly disabled people being clearly disabled, while still being viewed as equal, "normal" people. When disability is only shown openly as disabling when it is for the greedy or the facists... that is ableist writing.

All I want is for a main character to be openly disabled, in a disabling way, rather than just magically fixed and unacknowledged. Disability representation can only go so far when it is just "hey, here's a disabled character." We need them to be acknowledged as disabled, too.

[violetasteracademic]

My Two Cents on the People Magazine Article (and Elriel coming home!)

I'm sure this has already been dissected to death and I am potentially late to the game here (I only just saw the article this morning!) but I would like to share some thoughts and insight!

While by no means am I saying this to claim I am *the* expert of all experts, I would like to share that my background and previous career was in entertainment. My twenties were spent in Los Angeles, and (some of you other current or previous LA/New Yorker's may identify with this) you really learn how the sausage gets made and exactly how much money, planning, and prep goes into what we are meant to perceive as "natural." I don't mean to take the shine off of it! Just sharing my experiences. I can't share everything because some of my friends were under NDA's at the time of their employment, so I'll just give a brief overview.

Example: Late Night talk shows and many other major "live" productions that have "live" interviews are, well, not actually live. They typically film in the early afternoon even if they are set designed to look like its nighttime. And while it is in front of a "live" audience, the audience is instructed on when to clap, when to laugh, ect. This is because the interview has already been planned out, and questions approved ahead of time. This is why, even though it seems totally fresh, there are things the "host" received ahead of time. For example, all of the baby pictures and sweet photos of Sarah and Josh and then all of the staged "walking and talking photos" for the MASSIVE Today Show interview and article. And yes, this is the article where we got this absolute banger:

That "felt" like a live interview followed up with a giant article to accompany it, but was actually a full on pre-planned production. Seriously massive for Sarah. And if there's time, you can even do multiple takes and use the best shot for the "live" show. I've seen people comment on thinking Sarah seemed "not excited" in that interview and she was worried HoFaS would bomb, but I'm telling you guys, I don't think she has ever that much pressure or "lights, camera, action" on her before compared to her usual casual "chat" style interviews. Babes was nervous, and she crushed it.

Now to breakdown the new People Magazine article:

This article is being presented as "Everything You Need to Know" aka "we are your trusted resource on all things Sarah J. Mass."

People Magazine, while serving as your "trusted resource" for the world of ACOTAR, would not say the protagonists of ACOTAR are the sisters for zero reason whatsoever. What's interesting is both Lucien and Azriel get small nods, but very little otherwise and zero mention of the ship. Just Elain, baybee dolls. This further cements that this designed to portray the Archeron sisters as the leads of the series.

Now, taking a look at the author of this article to see if she specializes in anything, she really doesn't. Miss ma'am writes about everything under the sun!

She also did the Ultimate Guide to Emily Henry's books. (Major Emily Henry Stan over here. Who is dying for Funny Story to come out?!)

This is a Northwestern University journalism grad who has been with People for a few years. She certainly understands what it is that needs to come from these articles, and that is interest, clicks, money, and trust.

There is simply no reason for major networks like Today and People to invest in these thorough and in depth articles and interviews, on screen and on page, with Sarah and continue to hint towards Elain or questioning the mating bond if it will serve no purpose in improving their reputation or generating interest in the plot of the books. That is simply not how this works, and is antithetical to keeping the gears of these machines well oiled and functioning as intended.

If you read this whole thing, wow! You are an MVP. With nothing but respect to you all, I'm not sure how long I will keep this post up or how much I am willing to talk about my time in LA. I unfortunately had some experiences I am still recovering from and already feel a bit anxious putting this much information about myself out there. But for those who catch it, I hope you enjoy and can feel comforted that this is all a part of the plan. There's a reason you see repeats of themes and conversations in all her articles. It's because they are pre-planned and executed with the goal of reputation and selling books in mind.

*** Thanks to Sara Anne (@SaraAnneReads on Tiktok) who shared her insight from working on the marketing team for a magazine in 2019 that adverts have to share if an article is paid for in someway, no matter how small. Thus I have removed my statement on *this* article potentially being part of their paid marketing budget, as there is no indicator of that on the article itself which is required by law.

However, this could be what is called "Earned Media" where a marketing/publicity rep for SJM and/or Bloomsbury *could* have reached out to people magazine and basically said hey, if you want to write about this, we have an announcement coming up soon so it could be relevant and worth talking about. To which the rep for People would say to the rep for SJM, hey, thank you so much for the heads up. There is no exchange of goods or currency and no promise verbally or in writing to do the article so the ethics stay above board, but all parties benefit from earned media. Sarah's team has now earned additional buzz for the upcoming story, and a news outlet has articles out on a trending topic. However, earned media does not have to be disclosed and therefore we have NO way of knowing if this occurred here or not!

She also shared with me People's statement of integrity where People state's their high standard for ethical practices and journalistic credibility and accountability. (I mean we know they are the kings and queens of "a reliable source close to the individual," but still)

She also caught with her eagle eye that Bloomsbury explicitly states the detailed marketing plan once books are announced, including details like year-long social media campaign, arc readers, ECT. So with Sarah already posting about the next ACOTAR, we can safely assert that is part of the existing laid out marketing plan, and assume additional articles surrounding ACOTAR are all to further generate buzz.

Analysis: Elain's book announcement is coming SOON and marketing is already underway!

[pehmokoira]

I think we could all use a morale booster after 2 weeks in the gravy basket, so I decided to write a few reasons why I believe Our Flag Means Death can still be saved!

Please note that I know literally nothing about how the industry actually works, I'm just clowning and these are opinions based on articles I've read etc. 🤡

Arrested Development was saved by Netflix after Fox cancelled it because of low ratings and viewership. Now, we can't know the numbers for OFMD for certain, but the ratings and reviews have been preeetty good, and season 2 even has a higher Tomatometer score than season 1. (96% vs. 93%) So in that sense, the chances are good. Everything was pointing towards renewal until January 9th!

Which gets me to my next point. If the cancellation really was one person's decision (DZ better watch his fucking step), then that means the show was as good as renewed and it HAD the numbers and the viewership and everything it needed to continue.

Each cancellation case is unique. It's kind of pointless to compare OFMD with any other cancelled show, because the chances of any show getting picked up after cancellation depend on so many things. Production costs, show quality, the potential of the show, viewership, probably also connections/relationships in the industry, etc. But it all boils down to money in the end.

Max is covering up the real reason for the cancellation by lying, which means they've completely fucked up by cancelling this show. Max is the one that looks bad right now, not OFMD. This is bad PR for Max.

David Jenkins has not told us to stop with our renewal efforts, which means there's hope. He knows more than we do. In Jenkins I trust. I won't give up until he tells us it's over.

It's only been 2 weeks and 1 day. It would've been something of a miracle if the show had been picked up in that short a time. Lucifer was saved by Netflix a month after the cancellation.

And lastly, the pros for OFMD:

The show hasn't been on a widely available international streaming service so far. Big potential for new audiences on a different platform.

The marketing for the show has been abysmal, but it's become a flagship series for Max despite that.

The fanbase is loud and passionate, and we've shouted about wanting to buy merch on X. We won't shut up about the show and that's a beautiful and important thing.

Max's lies about the cancellation are so transparent almost anyone can see through them. The people in the industry have probably noticed Max's pattern of cancelling shows about marginalized groups.

The representation in the show is something you don't find in any other show, and while that could be its downfall, it's also the greatest strength of the show. Bigger streaming services aren't as scared of queers as Max is.

The story that the show tells is quite unique.

These are just a few things that came to mind right now. Feel free to reblog and list more reasons if you can think of any!

Edit: I wrote another post about this too! That one's about ✨the numbers✨!

[all-pacas]

I saw some of your posts saying how observant and clever Chase is,while also being a "dumb whore". I feel like this is the right place to say that I don't find his "ditzy slut" moments funny in isolation,without taking his cunning,calculating traits into account. If Chase is just a "himbo",it takes away the shock value(not to mention I've seen way funnier "simple dumbasses" than "isolated Chase moments"). On the other hand,a guy who can clearly think on his feet making terrible mistakes that could be avoided by a bit of common sense is a recipe for hilarious "wtf?" moments. Like,I've seen you deduce stuff with striking accuracy with minimal information,how did you come with such an inane conclusion? It's what they call "high intelligence,low wisdom".

Also,I saw a post of you saying Foreman is "book-smarter" than Chase,while the latter is more observant and a "people-person",besides having more "improvising" skills. This is certainly interesting,considering their backgrounds(Foreman was raised in the hood,had some involvement with gangs;whereas Chase was a rich brat with many opportunities. One would think their skillsets would be inverted,lol)

Even before I finished reading this comment, I was planning on making a "he's a high in/low wisdom," so thanks for making that joke for me, lol.

The thing is, Chase is legitimately very lazy. Or like. He works hard and he's very good at his job, but I think it's interesting that both his specialties are… obviously to be a doctor you have to be smart, but he has very hands on specialties. His job isn't to memorize and know everything about auto-immune diseases, his job is to be great at cutting people open and fixing them. Again, I am well aware surgeons and intensive care takes a lot of knowledge! But it's interesting to me, you know? He definitely comes off as less cerebral.

And he's deeply unambitious. He spends half the show in a fellowship, a training program, because he's more comfortable there. Cameron and Foreman have a subplot about writing articles; we never hear anything about Chase doing the same. House literally has to fire Chase to get him off the team. Where Foreman is always desperately trying to prove himself and be the best doctor in the room, and where Cameron is honestly also deeply competitive and demands respect, Chase… we joke about him being spineless, he is spineless, but also he never really seems to mind it. He doesn't care. He does not seem offended Foreman keeps getting put in charge, nor does he really want it for himself. He has the most seniority of the fellows, but never plays it up; he's fine where he is. And I think that's where his 'laziness' comes in. He just… doesn't try very hard. Very rich kid of him, tbh. He coasts whenever possible.

Meanwhile Foreman is a huge perfectionist, and has a huge inferiority complex. He is the first to tell everyone he had perfect grades (he tells Chase a time or two), went to top schools, has a perfect resume, because Foreman derives a lot of his self worth from being able to say that: if he's the best, no one can say he doesn't belong. I think it's because of his background that he's like this: he's a Black man from a Bad Neighborhood and has a Record and he's absolutely aware what that makes him in the eyes of others. He can't afford to be like Chase — Chase can get away with being lazy and unambitious because he's a rich, good looking, white guy (and foreign, at that — but the good kind of foreign, who speaks English as a first language and comes from a rich and successful family). If Foreman acted like Chase — like he didn't give a shit about his career, like he was just working for House for the hell of it — it would look different. It would feel different. Foreman is a perfectionist and has an inferiority complex because his whole life the world has told him he's not as good, he's doomed to "turn out" bad, he won't and can't amount to anything because of who he is. Cameron is assertive and ambitious and gets really touchy when people underestimate or overlook her, because she's sensitive and kind and weak (Foreman himself tells Cameron he thinks she needs to "toughen up"), and so she also constantly has to prove herself, and that she can be a Good Doctor And Leader while still being compassionate and soft. Again, Chase doesn't have to worry about any of this. He can be unambitious and easy-going about his career, because it doesn't really matter to him in the same way. He doesn't have to be the best student or get the best marks and have the best record. He has very little to prove.

And in a way, Chase is in the same kind of perception trap as the others. Not to suggest he has it soooo much worse than Foreman, but because he's a Rich Good Looking Dude, you kind of expect him to be a nepobaby. You kind of expect him to be useless and underqualified and shallow. To coast on his looks and to not have brains and have no idea how to manage in the Real World. It's definitely how Foreman sees Chase — he says as much, and lowkey hates him for it, and fair enough — but again what's interesting to me is where it isn't quite true. Chase is brilliant, when he cares enough to try. His apathy is learned, not born from an easy life; he comes off as cool and easy-going but holds grudges and resentments and trauma about two inches down. He's afraid of rejection and trying and failing, and so stays in his comfort zones. But where Foreman spends all his time and energy trying to prove the entire world wrong, to fight every automatic perception of who he is as a person, Chase leans in to his own facade. I actually think that S8 Foreman is a pretty happy person. I think S8 Chase, Chase MD in House's office, is at least 70% miserable.

[oleander-nin]

Writing advice(hopefully)

I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK I SAID I DO HAVE A METHOD TO WRITING. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A METHOD BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT FOR SO LONG.

advice under cut

Before you write something, flesh the ENTIRE thing out. I don't mean like kinda do a couple word summary, I mean write the basics before you write how the basics go together. You want to write about a picnic? Flesh out things they might say during it, what their bringing, who's making the food, etc etc.

Examples from my own writing doc for my most recent posted fic->

As you can see, it's long, and tells me most of what I need. It's also not organized, and many things are misspelled or grammatically incorrect. This is because my main goal was to get a basic plan out, not to make it look pretty. I also had three slightly different ideas I could go with before deciding on which I wanted. The more you have down, the easier it will be. I also color code mine, but that's not necessary, it's just ease of use. I can explain my color coding if needed, but I won't until asked.

2. Write in chunks. Do you have that really specific scenario already planned out? Write it first. You can make the rest around it, but once you get at least that small bit out, the rest can come naturally.

3. Keep yourself occupied. I get bored easily if I'm just writing, so I have to be doing other things at the same time. Just make sure it's something simple so you don't get distracted. I personally use my cat as to keep my stimulated(?) enough to continue. You could mimic something like this by putting on music/shows in the background, or writing multiple fics at once.

4. Don't force yourself if you can. I know I said I do earlier, but that was mostly a joke. I write to deal with stress, so writing in itself calms me down. It's difficult to do something if I'm not perfectly in tune with it. If a request is proving to be difficult, or an idea isn't doin what you want, change it up a bit until it fits into the puzzle better. You'd rather have a changed fic than no fic.

5. Use prompt generators for ideas if you're stuck. I personally have a big tin of cookie fortunes and verbs/nouns so I pick two up and create a story around that. It helps get your brain going. And you can keep doing this until something sparks.

6. Stay as focused as you can. Close other tabs, keep your eyes on your writing, stuff like that. I know this may seem to conflict with the 'keeping yourself occupied' one, but you really have to find the right balance for you. For example, I can't have music playing, but I CAN talk to other people while I write. Play around until you find your zone.

7. Try not to edit as you go. It's okay to fix a word or two as needed, but once something takes over 5 minutes to fix, you should skip it and move on. Your main goal should be able to get it all down so you have something to edit eventually.

8. If you forget a word, don't dwell on it too much. Just put something as a safeholder(ie: Elephant, Jumanji, etc), highlight it, and move on. You can shoot a friend a text to help find the word, but don't stress if nothing matches what you're thinking of. You can figure it out after, or find a new word.

9. If you get stuck while writing, go back about three to five sentences and read it over. See if you can continue going, or find what you need to change. It doesn't have to be a huge change, it just has to be enough to get you going again. And if you can't figure it out? Skip it and write the rest and figure out the transition later.

10. Use references throughout you're writing. Whether it's on the world, injuries, dialogue, emotion portrayal, or anything in between, do research and find references. It can help make connections in your brain as well as make it easier to write. For many fanfics, if you look up the fandom's wiki, their personalities will be included in their character's article.

I think that's it for now, I might add more later. I really hope this make an inkling of sense, I got frustrated after Tumblr deleted half of what I wrote the first time around. Apologies for the rambles, I am neither good with words, neither with explaining myself in a coherent manner. If anyone needs/wants extra clarification, don't be shy to ask. And my sincerest apologies for not saying this in a reblog @itsyagurlchip, but it was starting to get long and I hate how you can't collapse reblogs so I put it here. If you need me to, I can copypaste and put it as a reblog.

[kittydesade]

I'm very sorry. Six months ago you commented on a Gordon Ramsey accessibility post that your job to help make websites accessible. How do I get that job? I would love that so much. I'm sure you've answered this before but I can't find it.

I, too, am sure I've answered this before, but I can't remember where and I'm not about to brave the Tumblr search feature to go looking, so you and @the0dd0ne get a twofer.

Hi, I'm not a bot, and I was wondering if I could ask you a weird career question? I saw your addition on that "Accessibility Nightmares" post where you mentioned it's your actual job to email websites about their lack of accessibility and what they need to do to make it accessible, and can I ask how you got into that? I got injured on the job and need to make a huge career change, and that type of work has always been really interesting to me, but I don't even know where to start to get into it! Also feel free to ignore this lol I know it's out of left field.

(This is actually the third question I've got on this, so no, not that out of left field.)

So the first thing to understand is that it's actually pretty hard to get into digital accessibility because there just aren't that many companies doing it. As far as I know from company meetings there aren't that many schools teaching it as a part of their core web development curriculum. It's just not that common to think about it as part of web development. Which is vastly irritating.

I started mucking around with the web when there was first a web to muck around on, but when the pandemic hit and my Mom suggested (in a hilarious twist of circumstances) that I go to one of those Learn to Code boot camps to get a certificate that said I actually knew my shit so I could get a job in web development. A number of these boot camps also have job placement programs and pipeline agreements with certain companies. and in a nutshell that's how I got into it. The company sent my boot camp a letter saying "we need N warm bodies" and they sent the company a list of names, I got interviewed, I got hired as a contractor, and after a couple years of good work for them I got invited to interview for a permanent position, which I got.

These days due to the state of the everything, there are probably 10-50 programmers for every open development position, depending on language and job type and company. It's a rough field out there and I got very, very lucky in my timing. But if you want to try it, the boot camp to job pipeline is probably your best bet. Ask the boot camp recruiters if they have connections to accessibility firms. If they don't, you can always try asking if they have connections to web development/site packaging firms and then check if the firms have an accessibility department. Tell the recruiter up front what you're looking to work in, and keep in mind that the recruiter's job is to convince you to give the boot camp your money. (Mine was $12k USD.)

For resources to study in the meantime, there's the A11y Project which has discussions, videos, articles, posts, etc about digital accessibility, a lot of good information. You can also look at the resources for the CPACC exam, I don't recommend taking it unless you have a few hundred USD to burn but you can definitely study up on the Body of Knowledge, which is a free PDF to download. And there is, in fact, an accessibility job board, although I don't have any experience with applying for any of these jobs cold.

The languages I use most in my job are HTML and jQuery, and I passively use (meaning I read and interpret but don't actually program in) JavaScript and CSS. This is mainly because we work with client sites and there's only so much of the client code we can touch; if there's a problem in the client code we can't touch we have to write it up and tell them to fix it. If you end up in house for some large brand you may end up working in more web development languages, but a lot of accessibility can be handled by basic HTML attributes called ARIA attributes (and roles) and there's the documentation on that. Another tool to have is your soft skills: communication, specificity of language, writing up good descriptions of what code does what so you can explain exactly what needs to be fixed where and why. You might also want to look at documentation on what makes good alt text, where it's needed, what kind of labels are standard, etc. I think you can find that in the A11y Project pages, but honestly I just learned it on the job working with senior developers.

It's a hard time to get into software development at all, let alone a niche field like web accessibility. But Europe is about to have a digital accessibility law come into effect in July of next year (that encompasses more than just the web, that's just my area of expertise) and the US is making slow but steady strides in requiring digital accessibility as well, so there are jobs out there and there might be companies hiring to capitalize on the need. There will definitely always be companies putting off conforming to regulations until the last possible minute, and then needing services and specialists. So study up, practice, and good luck!

[trickybonmot]

cw: mention of childhood sexual abuse. This post isn't about that but it mentions a specific case of csa in the second paragraph.

So, my dad is a boomer and a pro-Trump Republican. Like a lot of people in that situation, I've been very puzzled, confused, and betrayed at how the person who taught me many of my progressive values, like belief in science, being kind to others, etc. can support what Republicans support.

I read something the other day that made it much clearer to me. Actually, it was in this post by Brandon Taylor about the sexual abuse suffered by Andrea Skinner, daughter of celebrated writer Alice Munroe, at the hands of her stepfather. The author, Brandon, draws a parallel to their own experience of disclosing their sexual abuse and having their family ignore it, minimize it, and even make jokes about it. Why did the family act that way? Why didn't they empathize with the victim and seek justice?

Here's a quote from the article:

Among my people, the rural and working poor, to make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway.

Here is something that I remember about my dad. We used to watch David Attenborough's nature documentaries together, the old ones, Life on Earth and The Living Planet. In those days David Attenborough himself was in the shows; he would go to the locations and walk along and talk in his nice calm accent and point out the plants and animals. My dad, like me, was an atheist, so we didn't share any mythos of the workings of the world except the one that David Attenborough gave us: the cold, hard, fascinating, miraculous truth of evolution. To me, this was religion.

The last episode of each series was about Man on earth. Even back then, the closing message was a cautionary one: Man was changing the earth, Man was destroying nature with pollution and unchecked urbanization. My dad? Wouldn't watch that. He would turn it off and tell me that he hated that stuff. He didn't tell me that it wasn't true! But I came to understand that he felt there was a kind of wallowing, finger-wagging quality to it that simply made him cringe. Still to this day, when I see this kind of media my first thought is my dad would hate this.

To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it.

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks because I think this is exactly my dad's attitude toward everything bad in the world. This is why all talk of environmentalism, racial justice, reparations--any issue where people are seeking redress or repair of something awful that happened in the past. To make a history out of the past is taboo. To speak of a thing done is to make too much of it. To be fishing for sympathy, and for what, when there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. THAT IS MY DAD. And if you're wondering whether it also came up in the context of being raised by him, IT SURE FUCKING DID but that's a story for another time.

I think he knows that climate change is bad. I think he knows that racism is bad, and that what this nation has done to Black people is bad, and all the rest of it. But when people talk about it? When people beg for something to be done about it? Man, he just doesn't want to hear it. It makes him cringe inside. It's just unbearably awkward. In fact, I think the very hugeness of these issues, the very awfulness of what has been done and it still being done, is exactly why it's so out of line to bring them up.

So he's supporting the party that doesn't put that stuff up in his face all the time, is all. That's what I think. His reaction to the progressive agenda is just a knee jerk, gut-level negativity that has nothing to do with whether what we're asking for is good or right. He just can't stand for that asking to happen, because the MAIN value he was raised with was exactly this: you put your shoulder to the wheel and get on with things. I was talking to him about Putin or something and he said, "well, like my old ma would say, the trash still has to get taken out."

Now, for sure he has also been brainwashed by Fox News and he believes a lot of things that aren't true. But I think what initially opened the door for it was this feeling that it's just unseemly to make a fuss, to make a history out of the past.

I don't know if there's any hope, here--if being aware of this attitude can change anything. But it was comforting to me to find this clue, and maybe it can open the door to a way of talking about politics that doesn't activate his fight-or-flight response!

[katrinapavela]

Hi Katrina! I JUST found your blog here and I'm SO excited. I'm a long time Olivia Pope stan but short term Scandal watcher; as in I watched random episodes when it was on the air and have always adored Olivia Pope and the powerful woman she is, but I am currently doing my first full watch through. And I'm loving every minute of it.

I'm so excited to get to go through and read all the incredibly thoughtful analysis and posts you've written, dissecting the details of the show. I'm greatly appreciating all the underlying symbolism they use. I just read one of your write ups about the Helen of Trot comparison. I also like how the motif of lighr is weaved theough everyrhing and how they have her usually in white to display that, but that her clothing color gets darker as the lines of light and dark get blured. I'm loving watching her as a strong female lead who is infallible yet somehow still vulnerable. I also really am enjoying how the scenes and interactions between her and Fitz have a type of chemistry I feel like we've never seen on TV before even though in many ways it's an unhealthy and arguably toxic love, it also seems so real the pain and anguish in how much they care for one another is almost palpable. I am also admiring that their intimate scenes are done so tastefully and look like passion and love, unlike what I feel like we see in the media so often these days (I also recently finished shameless and as the title suggests, that show was truly shameless in how they portrayed spicy scenes). Fitz definitely gives man-written-by-a-woman to me. I'm currently in season 4, but I just read a spoiler that Olivia does become command and I'm dreading getting to that stage of the show just because I've already seen how damaging that role is to society and the person who holds it, I feel like I need a little reassurance to keep watching. The thing I think is incredibly interesting about this show is it calls into question everything we think we know about ethics and morals; it goes to an extreme to do so but it highlights that everyone has a mix of good and bad in them and I think that's such an important thing to touch on.

Anyway, just wanted to pop on and say I'm so excited to have discovered your page. I feel like I just found an extention of the shows content and am thrilled to read all the insights you shared over the years - I have a tendancy to obsess over TV shows, especially those with strong female leads that have elements of what I aspire to be. I love tumblr serving as a space to indulge in content from my comfort shows and analysis of them with people who want to talk abou them. I think the details of the show were masterfully written. I also am SO in awe that you took this interest and made it into a whole dissertation. Literally love that for you. In the interest of also asking a question, I am curious what your favorite episode or you favorite moment of the show was, and why? Or, if you feel there is an episode that is the most impactful and why. So far, the most impactful monologue I've heard in the show (and possibly ever on tv) is when Eli/Rowan Pope sits down with Olivia and tells her that the point and the people worth saving is everyone, and that it's up to her to drag people back into the light. I thought that was incredible. Thank you again for your thought contributions for us all to consume and learn :)

Welcome! Thanks for writing me :)

Thank you for the lovely things you said about this blog. I am so happy that I chose to keep writing according to my own perspective and understanding of storytelling. The archive is serving the exact audience I knew would keep discovering this show. Yeah, sometimes I can't believe my little tagline for this blog was transformed into a real PhD thesis. 2 articles based on 3 of those chapters have been/will be published soon. And several actual tumblr posts were transformed into something more critical for a chapter in this book:

How unfortunate that you saw that spoiler about Command. I'll just let you know you don't have to deal with that until S7, and it won't be for the entire season. But, Olivia will get on your fucking nerves for a bit. Well, she did that to mine. But some great things happen, too. I saw this dissent as part of something I predicted (S7 poster analysis) would (and needed to) happen for Olivia. But anyway, don't let that knowledge distract you from S4-6.

Yes, I agree with you about obsessing over TV shows with compelling female leads. My two previous obsessions have that in common--ever since my teens! I can see now that those characters were showing me parts of myself I would discover.

Answer to your question:

My favourite moment of the series? Or my favourite episode? This is so hard! If I have to pick one episode--it's 2.20. I love the theme of time and how it functions in multiple characters' lives, Olitz included. If I had to pick a really impactful moment, it would be 4.22 when Maya tells Olivia about her need for self-importance via creating problems that only she can fix. It was the closest she ever got to therapy. Since it's the same episode, I will sneak and say (without spoiling the beauty), that the ending for Olitz is the perfect inverse of a moment in 4.01. Ugh, there are more, but I'll stop there.

Thanks for leaving comments as you read the blog during your rewatch !

[minipisi-is-dumb]

I’ve been looking a lot into giftedness recently and noticed your blog has a lot of really helpful information on it. I was was wondering if you have any examples of symptoms for giftedness, since I have a hard time understanding what people mean when they just write “you have x symptom which means y” in their articles TwT I need to actually read examples or else I don’t get it, and you seem to be pretty knowledgeable

okay. I've had this ask for I kid you not. months. and you will find extremely ironic how the fact that I've been pushing it away for long is an example of giftedness symptoms!!! lemme explain

I first got this ask and the first thing I did was think "oh shit, how am I supposed to do THAT, this question is too broad, there's no specific goal, I don't know the way you learn so I can't really predict the best way to explain it so it's easier to digest, and how do I try to explain giftedness without seeming tokenizing or coming off as giftie embassador when I'm just a guy" mind you I found all these variables on information right after reading it. like a few seconds only after reading it. like all the wrong lightbulbs turned on at the same time except that it was telling me a thousand variables on how to approach a problem that seemed to have no end

so, I pushed it away because, as it turns out, this is an "open task"(referring to intellectual tasks in this whole post btw)

open tasks are a very interesting symptom I don't think I've ever talked about here so let me see if it makes sense

for giftie people, we have this little thing called "latent inhibition deficit" which is basically "hierarchy on sensory processing is not there" all sounds, lights, colors, movements, breezes, textures, smells... they're all important and interesting, so you pay attention to everything. we see the big picture first for better or for worse, because we connect it all together automatically

this is not just in a sensory perception level, but also a cognitive/intellectual one!!! which means that ALL knowledge is connected, all knowledge is important and it must all be taken into account at all times

an open task is asking someone who sees a whole ecosystem working at the same time to "talk about ants"

what part of ants? they biology? social interactions? contribution to other species? what species do they harm? what SPECIES of ants are we even talking about? are we referring to a specific anthill or ALL the anthills of the entire ecosystem? the list goes on and on, you begin connecting ants with their behaviors and jump to mention anteaters predation tendencies, only to jump against to talk about which trees and plants usually feed off of anteaters when they die, or what fungi could invade decomposing bodies that could eventually turn into a pest on the ecosystem, congrats! in ten minutes you talk about the dangers of deforestation and lack of biodiversity on pest control

you were just asking about ants for a 2 sentence answer on a homework

in fact, I JUST did it!!! I started to talk about giftedness for a metaphor and ended up talking about climate change!

so you can already tell that this question is, at best, impossible for me to truly answer, because it's an open task.

you're giving me a blank page to work on with no specific limits, too many variables to count on and wait for a response that i Can't Really Give, because how can I know im telling you what you need to know to understand it? the only option left is to tell you every single point from every single view from every single possibility until it is insufferably long. just to see if my point comes across

so, giftedness is very characterized by too many connections too quickly too intensely in just one person's head organ, and open tasks where a non giftie might find a "long enough" point rather intuitively, it becomes overwhelming at best for us

think about it like autistic/adhd infodumping, but for EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME

wanting to go deeper onto every detail while showing how everything is connected and moving and unstoppable and forever expanding in knowledge. that's fun! but impractical on the long run

so if an open task is fun but extremely overwhelming, is there a way to counter it? OF COURSE!!!!! THAT'S A CLOSED TASK!!!!

closed tasks that have the benefit of limits!! They feel nice because they are more clear, concrete and manageable!!!

go back to ants. don't ask me to just talk about ants, ask me about what is my favorite thing about red fire ants, or what benefits there are for ant mimicry in animals like jumping spiders!!!

woah, that's a relief, I can focus on one thing that doesn't feel overwhelming, stressful and impossible to explain or even BEGIN, and those around me aren't tired or confused by my attempts at doing so

for this question I had to spend however many months has this been in my inbox overwhelmed because every time I read it I thought "that's TOO much" until I remembered about open and closed tasks and thought how ironic it was that I am in this exact situation about not being able to explain my giftedness BECAUSE of my giftedness.

so I had to make my own closed task to answer to this, and as you can see, the closed task is talking about open and closed tasks!!!!!!!

I'd call this a fun three birds with one stone because not only I got to finally answer this in a way that reflects personal experience and I got to talk about something I haven't before, but ALSO I learned that maybe !!!! I can make my own closed tasks!!!!!! which is hard because I'm learning, but it helps me manage these types of situations instead of.... mental breakdowns and 5 minutes of explaining to my teachers why their two sentence homework couldn't be done because it had too many variables

so em, thanks for asking!!!! and sorry for taking so long !!!!!!!!!!

I have all my info posts about giftedness tagged so if u need more info I hope it helps !!!! again this is very specific considering all the research done on different sides of our experiences, but I hope it's a good start :)

[chirpychipslive]

ik not many of you who follow me are into SCP but i thought I'd give some of my favourite SCPs over to u all because ive enjoyed the series for a really long time now and i have quite a few!

my number 1 absolute fave is SCP-3799 - a ball of snow with a man inside. i can't tell you anything more because the story it tells would be spoiled so GO READ IT RN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLS PLS PLS PLS

my favourite 001 proposal (probably not a very controversial pick) is S.D. Locke/When Day Breaks. an insanely good horror story based around the sun corroding everything it touches in a matter of seconds into a painful, immortal blob. by contrast, i find Lily/The World's Gone Beautiful to be almost calming and bittersweet, and definitely a solid 2nd place behind Locke.

A lot of people have heard of, and quite like SCP-4999 - a peaceful entity that appears only to those dying alone, giving them company in their final moments. But what if death itself was an anomaly? It sounds like a really odd concept but SCP-2718 twists it absolutely perfectly, creating a very specific kind of existential horror that has stuck in my mind for a while. the entire page before warns you just how much trouble you'd be in for finding it out, and while a lot of other SCP articles use the same tactic, this one makes you regret even finding it in the first place. genuinely so good

more recently i found out about SCP-7034, which is essentially just a never ending traffic jam, but the terror and fear of being unknowingly trapped forever, slowly losing all hope, is conveyed so well through the character of Richard Battaglia that i HAVE to reccomend it here.

as for the more popular SCPs - SCP-096 (Shy Guy) is always a fave of mine, and i found SCP-7819 through TheVolgun's insanely well-done video on it. def go check them out if you haven't already!! also SCP-1471 (mal0) go brr

my taste in SCP is probably pretty obvious from this but I've been on and off enjoying the whole concept for pretty much my entire teen years and i hope i can share some of that enjoyment with making this post :]

[pucksandpower]

hi natalia! i hope life has been treating you well and that you're doing amazing. i wanted to say, i love your account so very much! everytime i go through the f1 tags on here i'm alway searching for your username among the fics and safe to say is you have never ever disappointed me. when i first got into the fandom you were definitely one of the blogs that really hooked me in. oh girl you don't know how ecstatic i was going through your masterlist, i literally felt like i was camping in that one post going through everything in one night. still, even now i love going back and reading it again because that little spark of joy i feel clicking the links to every au is the reason i love to be on tumblr!

you never fail to deliver an insanely good level of world building like this is kind of surreal to me, because you give us such a fresh and wonderfully blissful take on social media au's. it's super cool to see you explore all types of medias like articles, blogs, twitter, instagram, youtube videos—i feel like you've used EVERYTHING girl. all your posts are sooo long and idt people realize how much work you have to put in to make a cohesive story like that?? + using all sorts of outlets ur an actual beast at this wow. and it's not just the way you deliver it, it's also all the ideas that you have. i'm a huge sucker for the deep lore ones that are like the ones involving racing teams and stuff. it's so great to see your takes on real time events and how it could've been if this or that happens. the readers are also of so much variety, i hope you keep doing that bc it adds a lot of potential and spice into the story. royal au is also sooo good! your account to me is basically girlhood personified. i'm always so immersed in it that i forget i'm reading an au... that really shows your effort in the work you put out. i can tell the time you spent crafting these pieces i mean WHO goes this far and wide if not pucksandpower?? ur the backbone of my mental health i would've gone in the trenches if it weren't for you... that's my mother ya'll. there is not one fic of yours that does not have me at the toes of my feet, all giddy to click the "keep reading" button. i wish for you to know that i, and i'm sure many others who follow you, really appreciate all the work you put in! i'm lowkey like suspicious with how real and professional some of the articles you make are bc how is that not something that would come out of an actual blog? 😭

AND OHHHMYGOOOD you are doing god's work for feeding my delusions on giving charles leclerc the team that he deserves. seeing the newey reader fic, that was when i knew you were ON to something like this girl is special she's doing all the research.. babe you could be the new damn chief tech officer if you wanted to i mean. you are operating in levels that we can't even comprehend?? one step ahead in everything. when i read your cl stuff in my heart i'm rooting for this man so bad and like if this isn't happening irl at least pucksandpower got my back like... you know what they say about delusions=manifestations so if we keep this up yall i believe it can be real trust me i've seen it in my head....

i'm sure there's a lot more that i want to say but anyways, i'm really glad that i ever found your blog and i look forward to future works you're gonna put out! cheering for you always and please take care of yourself, xx ❤️

Hi, my love! Thank you so much. I totally teared up reading this and I am not the slightest bit ashamed to admit it. Every single thing I post is crafted with love — I do it because I love working on them and because I love being able to make my fellow fans happy through my work. There truly is no more rewarding feeling. I have posted a whopping 119 fics/imagines/AUs on here and typing that number out really made me realize how crazy that is and how far I have come since I started this blog back in November

I can’t lie, sometimes the research and time I put into each of my works can feel overwhelming at first but I am always proud of the end product and especially happy to share it with you all. Some are lighthearted fun and I can have them completed in a few hours while others run deeper and can take me days upon days to finish. I truly want to build a mini immersive world through each of my AUs and I am so happy that you have been able to get that experience through them

Also I like to say that delusions make the world go round (and help keep us sports fans semi-sane) so I am more than happy to contribute on that end

Thank you again because your words mean so much to me! I can’t wait to share more work with you. Have an amazing day 🫶

[vulpinesaint]

i will be for real with you all. the many variations of the "everyone should be commenting on/reblogging my fanfic!!" mindset (and its children, "and if you're not doing that you're a bad person" + "and i am directly tying that to my motivation to write/my self esteem" + "and if you don't do that you are directly harming my motivation to write/my self esteem") are all bad for you. i've said it before! and i'll say it again! there is nothing wrong with reminding an audience, whether it's in the notes of a fic or in a tumblr post, that authors like comments! calls to action are great! it's the anger that i see when people post about how they get no reblogs. or the passive agressiveness in posts about how people will like but not reblog. or posts straight out saying that likes mean nothing. that's the shit that's not working.

first off: it has to be said. you are not entitled to people's time or effort. it's a harsh fucking truth but it has to be said! you're not entitled to the time it takes someone to read your fic, much less comment on it. you're not entitled to a space on someone's personal blog. human beings are never going to do exactly what you want them to because people just don't fucking do things sometimes. and expecting things from the people that read ur stuff (or see your art!) is only going to create a cycle of frustration in which your expectations are continuously left unmet and unmet and unmet, and if you cling to them, you're going to build up that frustration and anger, and it's not going to go anywhere positive. prommy. it's okay to be frustrated with a lack of attention! but then you have to let that go. and accept that any interaction is because people choose to interact, which is more than they can be expected to do.

which leads me to the "likes are worthless" argument. first off telling people that you don't want their interaction is not going to lead to more interaction. second off what the FUCK are you talking about. i know people get upset when people like but don't reblog because it doesn't further their content's reach, but: what the FUCK are you talking about!!!! likes are an acknowledgement that someone saw what you did and they liked it, enough to let you know. isn't that the goal? with a quick reference to the above paragraph (you are not entitled to time/effort/blog space), we have to talk about the way that people structure their intake of validation. likes are good! reblogs get your stuff out to another person's audience, but that enables more likes! any interaction is interaction. and also:

we cannot be basing everything around validation and interaction from strangers. that is only going to do you harm. as i said, your expectations are realistically most often not going to be met, unless you don't set expectations; if you will only have good feelings about something if people give you a certain amount of likes/kudos/comments, a certain amount of reblogs, you're going to end up with negative feelings, because most times, you're not going to get that. and the same way that you build up anger and frustration, you'll build up anything else you tie to that: sadness, worthlessness, however you feel when you don't get something you want. you can't let that control you. you can't live your life with all of your sources of happiness and self-worth rooted in external factors. those things are great for a boost! but you have to love your creative work for its own sake. you have to enjoy sharing things because you enjoy sharing things. it is genuinely not a healthy mindset to hang so much on other people's actions.

and i get it! believe me! i had one big work a while ago that got a bunch of comments with every update and it was absolutely thrilling and i got hooked on that validation. and then it fucking sucked afterward, cause nothing else i did ever got to that point again. it's brain poison! for real! it's the same shit they put in likes on social media, and i'm sure we've all seen the articles or ted talks or whatnot about the dangers of social media addiction! it's the same thing! and what i had to do to get out of that was find validation elsewhere. start investing myself into my creative processes for the sake of enjoying the creative process. train myself into enjoying every bit of interaction i got, rather than setting a threshold at which i could enjoy it. and it's hard work and i have to do it constantly and it fucking sucks but i am so much happier with my fics because of it. living in that disappointment and anger is awful. i promise it's better to fucking. practice gratitude. i hate that shit but it works sometimes.

and also! it has to be said. as a fic writer + reader: the "likes are worthless, everyone should be reblogging/commenting on fics" posts are fucking annoying. make different posts.

[kalisbaby]

Honestly I've seen way too many tweets and posts about how it's "okay if you can't take off work" blah blah blah. How about instead of comforting people we all just take that time to do ANYTHING else for Palestinians instead. Like the time and energy it takes to write a post to tell someone it's okay, you've could've reblogged/retweeted at least twenty posts/tweets from Palestinians instead.

Like I'm not gonna do to much more of this week reblogging shit calling out those who complain about the supposedly "short notice" of this boycott (it's really not) or coddling people who can't participate for whatever reasons. I'm not even gonna make another post like this bitching about it because I still have articles to read myself.

Like just do the work. Big or small. Just do it. That's for all of us, myself included always. Just do the fucking work and leave the others behind. Everything else is distraction. Eyes on Palestine. Eyes on Congo. Eyes on Sudan. Eyes on oppressed peoples everywhere. FOCUS!

[thatbanditqueen]

I will say this; when it comes to the Memphis Mafia, always beware of what the "boys" say. I take their stories with a grain of salt. According to a 2008 article,

"One would think that the various members of Elvis’ entourage, having worked and socialized closely with him for years, would be convincing sources of information. However, over the years several of the “boys” have proved themselves far from reliable when recalling their times with Elvis. Back in 1977, Red West, Sonny West, and Dave Hebler’s book, Elvis: What Happened?, was filled with bias and inaccuracies, Lamar Fike was a main conduit of misinformation for Albert Goodman’s deeply flawed 1981 Elvis biography, and Byron Raphael’s article about Elvis’ sex life in a 2005 issue of Playboy is completely spurious.

Of course, not all those close to Elvis have proved unreliable. Joe Esposito and Jerry Schilling are two who seem to have told their stories about Elvis with honesty and balance. The lesson here is that when reading these “I-was-there-books,” the reader must keep an open mind when it comes to accuracy, honesty, and bias.

In the end, I’m not suggesting we should all be cynical about everything that has been and will be written about Elvis. And I don’t think there is anything to be gained by arguing over isolated facts. However, the legacy of Elvis should be important to all of his fans. And if it takes setting the record straight once in awhile, then sign me up for the crusade."

This is a really good point and is well taken, thank you Nonnie. Thanks for taking the time to write to me, and I agree, history is always constructed refractions of what happened, and is shaped by the bias and agendas and axes that those who are left have to grind. This whole story about the girl in Palm Springs definitely shows this, and its actually been a really good lesson for me in soooo many ways. As a fan, as a citizen of tumblr, as a historian (I'm going to go ahead and claim that everyone in the EP fan community is a historian because we are all shifting through traces of the past to access him). I think you really pushed me to reconsider how I am evaluating the traces of Elvis that I grasp at here and elsewhere.

I was thinking to myself, should I take the passage I copied from Alana Nash's book Elvis and the Memphis Mafia down? I mean, I put it up in a bit of a hurry in-between meetings at work and I didn't really have time to edit or respond. I also didn't really think twice, I was just responding to an ask about a conversation on another post. And the truth is that the first version, where I quote the book, gave incorrect information, and ts veracity is impossible to conclusively prove.

But I've decided to leave it up, because I love the discussion that followed and that is now a part of that post. I am relatively new to active fandom, and I am learning everyday. That whole discussion shows how fans need to be aware of references that are questionable, as well as those that are not, because it becomes part of our shared understanding and useful for how we elevate the stories we encounter about Elvis. The thing I love about tumblr is how random artifacts circulate with stories about specific incidents, because I learn alot this way and I love when something pops up. But I also cannot tell you how often I wish they had a date or a source or more information. I also can't tell you how much I wish there was a pinterest tumblr integration that was easier than me creating pins over there for posts but that is a whole other post....

What books or interviews or websites have you found the most useful for learning about Elvis? I guess I put that question to everyone reading this.

thanks for your insightful advice and for discussing this important topic with me!!

xoxox

norAHHHHHH

this is my elvis history is hard work face v

[taylortruther]

I was going to write about why I think Foolish One and Haunted are about the same situation as Forever & Always and Last Kiss, so I looked through some old interviews about Taylor and Joe Jonas and Taylor and John Mayer and got sidetracked and horrified.

First, I knew they worked together on Half of My Heart but I found out he reached out to her through twitter, saying he wants to collaborate with her (and she said in an Elle interview that she was so excited because she had always been a big fan).

It made me think about Billie Eilish and that old weirdo she dated this year (I can't bother to look up his name, he's in a band). Most people weren't too happy about this age-gap (thank god), and Billie tried to defend her relationship by saying that she was the one to make the first move. But the thing is that in these kind of relationships the victim's gonna say they were the one in control, but it's never actually true. The other person is always the one with the power.

Now I don't know if JM had any other intentions when he tweeted it. I do know they performed together in May on Fearless Tour and, I've seen this performance, she had intentions. I keep thinking about that and I Can See You and "if you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous" and it's horrifying because even if he didn't have any bad intentiond at first (I don't think so. Why didn't he reach out privately? Why did he have to make it a public event?), he knew exactly what he was doing not breaking things off the moment he realized she has a crush on him.

They were rumoured be dating from January - February. They performed together in December and I think by that time they were "offical" or very very close to that. I've tried to look up some articles about their split and I found two things

1. From February 6th, from a website called Stylecaster: John Mayer & Taylor Swift dating? Just watch what you say John, you don't want to turn into Joe Jonas.

The difference between this and the reaction to Billie and Old Weirdo is giving me so much faith in humanity because we're definitely progressing. How the hell do you look at a relationship between a 32 years old and a 19 years old and tell the adult man to watch out??

2. I did find a single blog? website? That posted something in February 5th, 2010. The author of the article talked about how JM boasted about hooking up with Taylor (which he actually did, by the way. Disgusting creep): "I totally believe this happened. I think Swifty is a sweet girl with a horrible taste in men...perhaps that's why she thinks John Mayer is "cool" or "hot" and "not King of the Douches"...my opinion: Mayer is a manipulative psychopath.

So many people responded at that time that Taylor is an adult who can make her own choices and as someone who's around the same age as her, she definitely wasn't.

Andrea never approved of the relationship, we all know that. She actually pulled him aside and told him to back off her daughter. I'm glad Taylor's parents were defensive and supportive of her.

In some Playboy interview in February 2010 he talked about his sex life with Jessica Simpson. Her dad was rightlfully upset with him and in 2021 Simpson said she was embrassed by his interview (who wouldn't be?). He's made a lot of weird comments in January-February (like his dick being a white supremacist. What the fuck?) I can't imagine being the person dating a creep like him. How lonely and confusing it must have been.

I read somewhwre he and Simpson (who were on and off for years) offically ended things in 2010. He Taylor broke up sometimes in 2010, probably before June when she wrote The Story of Us. In 2011 he was seen with Miley Cyrus who was then 18.

Everything I've read about him this last hour makes me loathe him and wish him the absolute worse.

yeah, he sucks for many reasons... his actions speak for themselves tbh, i have nothing to add lmao

[trashlie]

hey it's lil anon again! wah thank you for always writing such elaborate responses, i really appreciate you taking the time and always giving me a lot to think about 💕💕

i especially want to thank you for going into so much detail on alyssa. tbh she's probably the only ily character i'm just not very good at reading, so your analysis really helps me understand her better. i can put myself in her shoes, but so many of her choices contradict my moral compass, i struggle to emphasize... and honestly, if alyssa knows that yui is awful and/or that something happened between nol and yui (it's hard to believe she never noticed how nol reacts to yui - it took shinae 2 seconds to figure out something's off - at the very least she must know he's not particularly fond of her), then those "i want to be just like her"/"i'm jealous i wish she was my mother" comments to his face are even worse. like if her microaggressions towards him are unintentional, that's one thing, but if she's purposefully pouring salt into his wounds, even if she doesn't know the extent of those wounds, that's evil :/ sigh. anyways alyssa being aware of yui's true nature at least to some extent and possibly wanting to escape the trap (even if not yet, then possibly in the future) is a really interesting thought! the 7-10 year contracts as well, thanks for pointing that out. i'll keep that in mind.

very briefly re: dieter. i joked about it to cope but yeah i do feel horrible for him :( "the winner takes it all" and "of course i'll let you break my heart again" 💔💔💔 thank you for elaborating on his feelings, it's important to acknowledge what he's going through. i think this will be a strong undertone in the story for a while…

on nol and pushing people away to protect them: you've touched on the emotional aspect in your recent post beautifully, and i would like to add that even rationally, teaming up is the best strategy going forward. like i would love his fear of losing her to kick him in the ass, but if he can't bring himself to accept his feelings wants and needs, if he still wants to insist he doesn't deserve any of this, then the rational approach will work too. if he's smart LOL (i have hope!) he will understand that driving a wedge between them is the last thing he should do if he wants to a) make sure she's okay (not that she needs to be protected but ykwim) b) actually help her escape yui, and c) make up for dragging her into all this (even if unintentionally) instead of running away like a coward. it probably hasn't clicked yet because he's stubborn as hell and still deep in this pool of guilt and regret, but this might be an angle shinae can use to get through to him. that it's, rationally, best to deal with the danger together. and if being a team then comes with those moments of calm and peace, even better. she's not alyssa 2.0 and he knows this. the trust, the bond, the commitment is there, they just need to communicate gdi!!! aaargh. actually, writing this a mental image of shinae doing like a powerpoint presentation for him popped into my head LMAO something like "how to deal with the hag 101: ditching me -> bad strategy 👎🏼🚫🙅🏻‍♀️ ; teaming up -> good strategy 👍🏼💯🙌🏼" fgdhsjdkd hey maybe he's a visual learner who knows.

actually… i've been wondering if nol will remain closed off until the article comes out, and that's how shinae and friends will learn more about his past… and everything else, obviously. it's not ideal to have your past "exposed" like that, but hey, yu jing is unstoppable and the article is coming out anyways. the article isn't centered on nol, but it covers enough to give shinae & co enough insight. and i can actually see it alleviating some of nol's pressure, because a) someone else "tells it for him" and b) the article is a catalyst of change; a silver lining that things are turning around for him. i think it'd also help shinae and friends understand nol better in the sense that, oof, it's A Lot, everything is worse than they could've expected, so it's understandable why it's extremely difficult for nol to talk about all this, that he doesn't want anyone to be dragged into this mess. i can imagine it being much easier to talk about everything afterwards, when his friends have dealt with the initial shock and have a basic understanding of the events from an unbiased source. maybe even help him process the article bc a lot of it will not align with his own perception of the past. it's actually extremely important that the article is an ✨objective✨ retelling of the events, because nol is an extremely unreliable narrator. from a storytelling perspective, it feels a little too convoluted to let shinae hear nol's warped, skewed version, and then let her learn the truth from the article, no? i think that for the sake of driving the plot forward, it's enough that she understands that it's something very serious and that he blames himself for everything. idk what do you think?

related to that, i've been thinking a bit about how the article would impact nol himself. it's just… a lot to process, isn't it. to realize that you were punished again and again for nothing, that they've villainized you and messed with your head to the point that your entire perception of yourself and reality is inaccurate. all those years of self-loathing and anguish and guilt and grief. while the actual perpetrator is revelling in the sick satisfaction of breaking and tormenting an innocent kid. gosh. i don't see nol as a vengeful person, but who knows how all this is going to affect him… a while ago i saw a post that was like "sun-coded character but not in the typical sunshine way, but in the sense that they're bright and powerful and burning hot like a raging fire of anger and passion and fury to the point of self-destruction" and ohmygod. this is complete speculation, but i couldn't help but think of nol and his future development. of course i don't hope he would reach a point of self-destruction, that would be really tragic, but the potential is just 🤌🏼

anyhoo back to the present <3 the three days make me soooo hopeful OH GOD i'm trying so hard to keep my expectations low… like you, i think an apology/honest conversation would be ideal, but even if nana can give shinae some encouragement and ease her heart, that would already help so much. also, if the guy wants to be a wall then can he at least find a way to be a wall without hurting her?? like my boy you're not a bad guy because of whatever you think you did in the past, you're a bad guy because you keep hurting shinae!!! stop being consumed by the darkness for a second and deal with the situation at hand, please. 152 was strike one, this was strike two. don't make me teleport into the comic and bonk you like nana did 😾 and fgdshfkjthepossiblekissdontevengetmestartedaaahhhhhhhhh ahem not to be like that but walk with me for a moment ok. walk with me ashlie. remember that "will this make it all better?" drawing quim posted on patreon a couple of weeks ago? not saying anything so i don't jinx it but 👀 shinae's not wearing her bandana in that drawing btw 👀 anything can happen in three days right. teehee 🤸🏼🤸🏼🤸🏼

alright. take care 💗 -lil anon 😼

LIL ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIL!!!!!!!!! ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS GOD god you just GET ME YOU GET ME YOU GET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao (I, too, would like to bonk Nol Nana-style)

PLEASE I NEED a little spin off sketch doodle of Shinae giving Nol that powerpoint presentation where he starts off with his usual grumpy face and maybe even starts to roll his eyes but can't help but start laughing because I SURE DID LMAO PLEASE I WANNA SEE IT SO BAD?! Sprinkle in some tips from Nana's How to Banish Witches LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Let me try to go in order, though! I get so tangled up in my own words so... so easily lmao

I do feel you on Alyssa - and I get why she's so hard for most people to digest. I think she is one of the most intentionally hard to read characters we've met - we know just enough about her to make us think, but not enough that we can say anything is for certain. That's one of the reasons I feel like there must be something being held over her head, because I guess I do tend to have a rather naively hopeful view of her, and like to imagine that it's not that Alyssa is this terrible person as much as, like everyone else, she's caught up in some kind of terrible trap. Of course, it could be that she knows what a horrible person Yui is and what she admires still is the raw power. Maybe she doesn't want to wield power the way that Yui does, but rather just possess it? We've seen a glimpse of her mother and father's relation and can get a sense for why she wants to be a part of a power couple where the partners are independent, separate entities who, most importantly, don't control the other. (But we know that's NOT actually the case of Rand and Yui at all.) So one thought could be that she likes the IDEA of it, just perhaps not the execution?

But yes, true, the way she speaks about Yui feels so much like it's rubbing salt in Nol's wound. Another thought I've had though regards the timeline. Where was Nol living when he was hanging around with Alyssa? Was Yui around enough for Alyssa to have picked up on the nature of their relationship? Was she possibly so blinded by her idolatry that she DIDN'T noticed how Nol feels about Yui? But on the other hand, Nol specifically used the line that she knows he's invisible to his family and friends. I feel like Nol has possibly opened up to Alyssa more than he has to Shinae and their other friends. Maybe early in their relationship, when he was trying to make it real (when he had a crush? if he had a crush? when he wanted to make it benefit him in a pleasant way?) he opened up a little, and it didn't go over the way he wanted?

I don't want to paint Alyssa in a bad light because I feel like she's intentionally set up to be a misunderstood character for the reasons you've mentioned. She doesn't fit most peoples' moral compasses, she makes choices most people like to think they wouldn't. But just as I said in the last ask response, characters are shaped by their own experiences and traumas, right? Just like how Nol is so lost in his rightful fear and pain and cannot see the possibility that he's not the monster he thinks he is, perhaps Alyssa is so trapped in her own feelings that it was hard for her to acknowledge (or to correctly interpret) Nol's reactions? I get the feeling that in the past he covered it up more, but if he was trying to talk Alyssa down from her Yui fascination.... how direct was he? Did he have to dance around it without opening up too much? I feel like he HAS to have withheld a lot of information, otherwise you're right, it makes Alyssa seem far worse than she already does. And because perception is important per character, it goes back to that point of perhaps favoring certain ASPECTS of Yui and what they could mean for her, if not the way she uses them?

I always wonder when we'll get to know more about Alyssa. A part of me hopes to see her and Shinae reconcile (but she has to actually apologize for their past or else I don't want it lol) which I think could be possible if/when Alyssa has her public fall from grace. I still feel like that will eventually happen lol, and maybe THAT'S when we'll get more insight into her? I feel like she will remain intentionally withheld from us to continue to keep us guessing. But yes, I do always want to know more and more about her relationship with Nol, and how much she really knows about him, if she's been disregarding his feelings, if she's just blinded by her own needs, or if she really is just a kind of selfish, terrible person LMAO. I think we've seen that most characters seem to be redeemable - or at the very least, we can empathize with their situations and understand why they've made their choices - barring Yui and lol Sangchul (the whole of the Kims?) so it's a question of where does Alyssa really fit in? I continue hoping we'll find that she, too, has circumstances we will eventually understand.

this might be an angle shinae can use to get through to him. that it's, rationally, best to deal with the danger together. and if being a team then comes with those moments of calm and peace, even better.

YEAH YEAH exactly! Like, all romance aside, strategy and story-wise, I think it's really important for Nol to find the importance of being able to be a team with people. It just feels better to have that established at this point of this story, rather than to wait until years and years pass? But yeah, I definitely think Yujing's story might play into it, if at this point Nol is unable to make the (right lol) choice to team up with Shinae, I think, yes, having the pressure of not needing to actually be the one to open up would help. I think that expose is incredibly important to Nol, even if it's not directly about him. I think I've previously mentioned it, but I really do worry that Nol's feeling that he's a monster and that he's responsible for the loss of his mother came from his stint in the mental facility. Therapy and medication are fantastic for those who need it - but that doesn't mean it can't be used against them, either. For instance, think of conversion camps/therapy and what it can do to a queer person. I feel like that's why it's such an adamant belief of his, and why it's impossible for anyone to change his mind. It's more than just teenage angst and stuff.

Shinae is starting to see that bigger picture - that someone like Yui gets to get away with messing with and hurting other people while never having to face responsibility for it. She's already watched Nol take the fall for Sangchul. Sure he's the one who pleaded guilty against his lawyer's advice, but look at how the media was already turning against him, ready to believe that he was a monstrous rapist. So for Nol to be able to get to see that bigger picture, too - that Yui DOES make those choices, that it's not just about him, but about her own amusement at other peoples' expenses, be able to better see that she targeted him and hopefully be able to comprehend that it wasn't a thing he did or didn't do. People are responsible for their choices.

And yes, he, too, is responsible for his own choices, therefore he, too, is responsible for always hurting her. Again, I know I am SO naively hopeful sometimes, but I just have to HOPE this three-day extension is for exactly that - for him realizing that hurting Shinae doesn't protect her, hurting her doesn't help her.

like my boy you're not a bad guy because of whatever you think you did in the past, you're a bad guy because you keep hurting shinae!!! stop being consumed by the darkness for a second and deal with the situation at hand

THIS IS EXACTLY IT LOL!!!!!! I just have to hope that seeing the kind of regret he's wearing, the likely disappointment he was met when he took off that bandana and she was gone, means that he is rethinking. Or, if not rethinking, that he will have a moment of weakness as Shinae spoke of lol and that he'll make the choice to stop hurting her (yknow. intentionally lol). It just feels so strongly to me that Nol stands on the precipice, that he's going to make a choice he hasn't before? When he left Shinae in the rain, he was resigned to his choice (though was shaken up so much he ended up retching...) and this time, his regret seems to be shaking him a little, making him waver. It would be one thing if she decided to wipe her hands and go home, but if Nana gets to her and gives her that encouragement and reassurance... It's easier for him to accept her leaving as making the choice for hm. But if he has to keep pushing himself to make the "right choice", it's going to eventually wear him down, right?

I JUST WANT HIM TO ACCEPT THAT HE CAN'T MAKE CHOICES FOR PEOPLE. TO ACCEPT THAT IT'S BETTER TO BE HONEST THAN BOTTLE THINGS UP!!!!!!! I'm not begging him to tell her his past I'm just begging him TO REASSURE HER I'm begging him to FEEL DESPERATE in a healthier way lmao desperate in a way that makes him feel safer and secure, that makes her feel reassured, that makes them feel like a team!!!!!!!!!

I think you put it really well when you essentially said he needs to, to some degree, that responsibility for unintentionally dragging her into this - because no matter what he does, she's still going to be a part of it, and they might as well have each other's backs. He owes her that much lol. I know even if he explained it, she wouldn't hold him responsible for her involvement, anyway, but it's just the thought that counts lol. It's the way he keeps acting like abandoning her is the safest choice INSTEAD OF JUST! TEAMING UP WITH HER!!!! MY GUY PLEASE I AM JUST BEGGING YOU treat my girl better okay? I know you can. I KNOW YOU WANT TO. THAT'S THE THING!!!!!!

Again, I reiterate. HE LITERALLY WAS SO STRESSED AND UPSET BY THAT ALTERCATION WITH SHINAE HE WAS RETCHING. And NOW he's actually aware he has feelings, AWARE of the effect she's got on him, aware of what he wants. Before she even mentioned him leaving and got him crying (LMAO god when you think about it that way lmaoooooo) he was already asking her to dance in the most intense possible way lol CHANNEL THOSE FEELINGS BUDDY just ;~; Treat her right! Cos you are right lmao he's already got 2 strikes! And while I think Shinae will be more lenient than us SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Anyway lmao just to repeat myself: this three-day extension feels significant, I'm hoping it's significant in the Nol making the decision to change his mind way and not the Nol making yet another choice that only hurts Shinae and further hurts them by leaving them vulnerable to Yui and her power when they could instead be stronger together. afljakfajkfjkf

ALSO LISTEN. /LIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTEN/ I have been DYING to talk about that post? It just lives rent-free in my brain, 24/7. I think about it so much WHAT WAS THE POINT OF DRAWING THAT, QUIMBERLY ANNE CHEE?! WHAT WAS THE POINT?! Like!!!!! afjafjafkjjf it sounds like she's been really busy, right? She's had her assistants off for different leaves has been occasionally having to take care of a lot of the work on her own. But she had some time to make a silly little sketch to torture us with?

(I mean, okay to be fair, she also did the April Fool's one, too......... LMFAO)

BUT LISTEN LIL ANON I JUST!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS i feel so taunted I feel like she looked right into my stupid little soul and went "I'm gonna mess with your head SO HARD"

ALSO I HAD TO GO RUNNING BACK TO CHECK THAT POST AND YOU'RE RIGHT?! SHE'S /NOT/ SHRIEKS fljafafafjafljafjaflkjafkjafjk and you know what's even funnier? I DID THINK ABOUT THIS AT THE TIME! I remembered double-checking her outfits to see if it was the same day and going "okay this can't be real because that time passed" BUT NOW YOU HAVE ME GOING WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF LMAO heck.

FLKAFJLKFJKAF NO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?! WHEN I WENT TO SEARCH I STUMBLED INTO THINGS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN 2, WHICH I HAD FORGOTTEN /ALL/ ABOUT probably to protect my fragile, tender little soul FLJAFKJAFJK LMAOOOO SCREAMS i'm about to start swinging from the rafters and it's your fault LMAO AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DOES QUIMCHEE DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS LMAO

Now i'm just. Gonna. Sit here and stare at a wall and think about these things lmaooooooooo

Wait NO I got sidetracked!!!!!!!!!!

You raise a really important point about how Nol is likely to be affected by what he learns from Yujing's scoop - especially if it's so that yes, his time in the mental facility was far more like conversion therapy as far as turning him on himself and seeing something horrible where it didn't exist and, to some degree?, brainwashing him? Because how does he reconcile the truth with what he believes? (Hey, that sounds familiar... any advice, Kousuke?) How does he contend with the grief of learning WHAT possibly really happened to his mother? Because listen, I stress this point again. I lost a friend to suicide and it's been almost five years and it still hurts me to think about. But part of my making peace was understanding that he was in so much continual pain, so much misery, that it was the only option he saw for himself. That's SO difficult to accept, because especially as friends, especially as someone who cares about him, you want to believe that things would have gotten better, that it wasn't always going to be that kind of misery. In Nol's mind, he has probably made "peace" (used loosely because BOY it's not peace) with the idea that in some way, he drove his mother to it (or that his existence did it). Especially if they argued, if he said something hurtful as children sometimes do. So how do you contend with the reality that it wasn't a choice at all? Death is a terrible, painful thing to grieve in whatever way, but sometimes I think you can kind of understand WHY someone made that choice, even if you don't agree with it, even if you wish they never had. But murder? Murder feels far more senseless. Murder is someone ELSE making a choice to take someone's life.

And whether or not Yui got her hands dirty, if she slipped Nessa something, if she was on a medication that pushed her into it, if it was something staged, the point still stands that IF it was not Nessa's choice, that means someone ELSE made the choice, and that is just senseless and cold and right I don't know what it would do to him? As much as fandom wants to see anti-hero Nol go on a quest for revenge to destroy those who destroyed him, I do get scared of the idea that he might go too far, and in his quest for revenge he could become the very monsters that tore him up, and god I don't want that. That feels SO BLEAK and, frankly? heartbreaking? lol I think that IS the kind of thing that could possibly ruin ILY for me, because I guess I'm so invested in the idea of Nol being able to heal and move on from the past and, idk, create a new journey for himself? lol I mean, I've definitely had the thought of Nol starting to go too far and Shinae being able to be that tether to his humanity, of reminder of the good in a world a dark and maybe that could stop him from succumbing to that kind of darkness?

But yeah.... thinking about it, I can see how it would start a quest for revenge. I like to hope that it would be more something that can piggyback off of Yujing's article, because we've talked before about how it's likely that this will only be the tip of the iceberg, it won't completely dethrone Yui, it won't completely take her down. But maybe, yeah, it could piggyback off it in terms of them fighting to make her and the Kims pay for their dirty deeds, to get the deserved retribution, without going down a path too dark to return from???

I think that quote is absolutely GORGEOUSLY Nol-centric, but my GOD I hope he's not a dying star. The mental image of him a burning star is SO tragically incredible BUT MAN more than ANYTHING I want him to retain the parts of him that we saw in Nessa, that we see in Yeonggi. I want him to maintain that humanity aaahhhhhhhh oh man this really tapped into some strong feelings!