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bengiyo · 2 days

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Hello 👋

All of your favorite horniest sex scenes?

Hello! I've been busy, so this has taken forever to get to!

I don't always need the guys to bounce around on each other and gyrate enthusiastically for it to out as horny. Oftentimes, I find myself more drawn in by the building desire between the characters, and the explicit acknowledgement of release. I like when the sex feels like it's also revealing something to us about the characters. I've highlighted many of these before, but it's fun to revisit.

Ghost Host, Ghost House Episode 4 Couch Scene

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I will never get over this scene, and especially the director's cut of it. These guys knew they liked each other almost instantly, and it was so rewarding to see them reach a place where they could express that. Bonus points for discussing the logistics of gay sex.

This show has been on Gaga and YouTube for a while, but it's also now available on Viki!

La Pluie Episode 6 Floor Scene and Episode 7 Bed Scene

I liked this scene so much that I wrote about it. Again, there's a lot of anticipation between these two, and you can tell how far it's built up because Patts has to dial it back down when Saengtai wants to stop. It's especially important to me because Saengtai does blow Patts in the next episode. If you're on iQIYI, there's an extended cut of that at the end of the video lists.

Mood Indigo: The Post-Funeral Scene

These two are so horrible for each other, but damn are their sex scenes compelling. Theirs are the kinds of scenes only possible between two people you know can never work long term. I was so glad that we got back to Haruhiko in Playback, and the first thing he did was blow Rio in a car. If you haven't seen the Novelist, and you're itching for hornier BL, it's right there.

The End of the World With You "You're Soaked"

From the same team as The Novelsit, we got to experience baby's first fuckboy in this incredible show. Again, I love when we get scenes with couples who aren't ready to work, because they're allowed to have raunchier sex. They get to amp the intensity of the physicality because they need to give a reason why someone was so caught up and missed the warning signs. I actually love the car scene later as a more romantic intimacy scene, but we're focusing on horny here.

Jack o' Frost Birthday Sex

A common theme here with the Japanese offerings is that people are allowed to have more interesting sex scenes right before they split. This is true even in Jack o' Frost. We get a really great oner from the leads that precedes their breakup and Ritsu's accident. I think this might be my favorite of this list because the actors have to build the entire scene together since there aren't any cuts.

Gameboys 2 Bed Scene

Cairo and Gav are one of my favorite pandemic couples we got on screen, and I was quite relieved for them when they finally got to have this moment. We also confirmed they switch, and I love that.

Wedding Plan: Namnuea Showing Off His Stamina

No list for me would be complete without including them. I really loved seeing two gay men go at it after clearing out all of their misunderstandings. They had already had sad goodbye sex. It was thrilling to see them having enthusiastic, athletic sex. This also leads directly to one of my favorite emotional payoffs for a closeted character of all time.

Kiseki: Dear to Me Reunion

The second couple stole this show, but damn if I didn't love the way these two played out sex across multiple years between their characters. These two really suffered, and I really love the way Taro Lin and Hsu Kai captured the changes between these two as Bai Zong Yi grew and matured. This really was a solid sex scene.

Love Class 2: Sungmin and Joo Hyuk

I just really wanna thank them for reassuring me that if Korea wanted to, they could deliver.

Sleep With Me Jeans Scene

I am not a lesbian, but I share their beliefs. This scene was so good. I loved that these two, who have different kinds of disabilities, were able to have a very fun sex scene. I really like when it's clear both characters want to be there.

Only Friends: Boston and Top in the Car

Despite my eventual disdain for this show, I was impressed with Neo and Force for giving this incredibly selfish sex scene between their characters. This entire scene is about injured egos, and it's a standout scene from this show. We won't discuss the rest of the show here.

Thanks for the ask!

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velvetvexations · 18 hours

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TW for brief mention of abuse in the last paragraph (nothing detailed, just, a mention of stats) I'm dumping this here because I'm scared to have my name attached to it, but I quite firmly believe that you cannot actually be an ally to all trans people while also hating cis men. Obviously there is something to be said about how it harms trans women, but I don't fully understand the experience that comes with that, and I'll mostly be speaking about AFAB transmascs here because I'm AFAB transmasc. I'm also disabled and using my last spoons to understand and type this, so apologies.

I find that people take two routes as to how to approach trans men, when they hold hatred for cis men, in that they either divorce the idea of us from the idea of "man", or they decide that because of our manhood, we are both privileged, and they must hate us too.

When it comes to separating us from manhood, a lot of people will talk about "men" and "trans men" as separate categories, and you see it in things like "not you though, I didn't mean trans men", but you also see it in the way that people have completely different expectations of how trans men and cus men should interact with the world, particularly with women. I don't really have the energy to think about how to put it into words, so if anyone else can pick up what I'm putting down, feel free to add on, or I might come back and elaborate later. But I find that it completely alienates us from the concept of manhood.

I've also had similar from my own mother, who told me that it was hard to see me as a man, because I had such "feminine traits", like, being helpful. Kind. Thoughtful. Things like that, because she found it hard to reconcile the fact that I was apparently all of those things, while also being a man, which is apparently the bad gender. Because evil is stored in the gender, obviously. (/s)

The other way I mentioned is the way that transradfems most often take, in the idea that men always oppress women, and there is no situational factor to it, and therefore trans men are included in that, and are therefore privileged and so it is fine to hate us, because we're men, and therefore it is okay to hate us, and this will never cause us any harm. For example, being denied access to shelters for being men. For many transandrophobes, us complaining about this is us being whiny and privileged, or weaponizing our AGAB, whereas, to myself certainly, I can't speak for others, male victims are more common than most people dare to think, but there is a lack of shelters that provide for men, which is an even bigger problem for trans men, because we have extremely high rates of abuse, but nowhere to turn to without having to detransition.

I also maintain it'll always be a major threat to trans women as well. If you call yourself a trans ally but hate cis men, as far as I'm concerned you're one step away from turning on me because there's no basis on which you can logically claim cis men are categorically worse that doesn't also apply to trans women - like, is it because of how they're raised, how society teaches them to be? Because that sure sounds a lot like you're expressing a belief in male socialization! TERFs are wrong about trans women, but if you accept their worldview you can't take it halfway and expect it to make sense.

#putting this into the tags because anon put a lot of work into it #and it's one of the messages I'm most serious about spreading #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #discourse

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moonsandmobilityaids · 2 days

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Blanket Forts

Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: It's been a bad day, but when you return to your room, your boys are waiting. Warnings: Chronic pain Series Masterlist

The day feels almost unbearably long and tiring, as though time itself has slowed to a crawl. Classes drag on, each one blending into the next until they become a blur of faces and voices. The pain in your body is a constant companion, a dull throb that reminds you with every breath just how far from normal your life has become. By the end of the day, you are utterly spent—physically, mentally, emotionally.

Even the smallest task seems monumental now. Your bones feel heavy within your skin, weighted down by fatigue and the invisible chains of your own limitations. All you desire is a moment's respite, a safe place to retreat and forget, if only for a while, the truth of your existence.

With a sigh, you grip the wheels of your chair, muscles straining as you push yourself along the stone corridors of Hogwarts. The halls are quieter than usual, most students still in the great hall having dinner. The usual hum of activity that fills the castle has faded to a whisper, leaving behind a silence that is both comforting and eerie.

You're grateful for the solitude, at least. After a day like today, the cacophony of life that usually permeates Hogwarts would be too much to bear. Instead, you welcome the stillness, letting it wrap around you like a blanket as you navigate the familiar path back to Gryffindor Tower.

You push open the door to the common room, and there it is—the entranceway to your accessible chamber. You pause, letting out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. The thought of crossing that threshold, of being alone with your pain and exhaustion, makes your chest tighten. It's always easier when the others are around, their presence a balm against the sting of isolation. But tonight, the idea of hiding away from the world, if only for a few hours, holds an undeniable appeal.

You reach for the doorknob, steeling yourself for the solitude that awaits, but as the door creaks open, you're met with anything but darkness and silence. Instead, the warm glow of candlelight washes over you, and you blink in surprise, momentarily thrown off guard.

The scent of burning wood fills your nostrils, comforting in its familiarity, and you hear the faint crackle of the fireplace before you see it. Its gentle light dances across the room, casting long shadows that flicker and sway. But it's not the fire that catches your attention—it's the sight that greets you beyond it.

James, Sirius, and Remus are already there.

They sit sprawled across your bed, propped up against a mountain of pillows, while blankets lie strewn about them like the beginnings of a fortress. A fortress built not of stone and mortar, but of warmth and friendship—a barrier against the chill seeping into your bones.

At the sound of your entrance, James lifts his head, glasses askew, eyes brightening at the sight of you. "There you are," he says, voice soft yet carrying through the room. "We were beginning to think you got lost on the way."

The corners of your mouth twitch upwards, but the smile doesn't reach your eyes. "Just been a long day... You weren't at dinner, so I didn't realise you were waiting," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Before you can protest further, Sirius is there by your side, his hand resting lightly on the armrest of your wheelchair as he crouches to meet your gaze. His usual bright grin is absent, replaced with a soft expression you've rarely seen. "You look like you've been through the wringer," he says, his voice dropping an octave as concern etches lines into his forehead. "Are you alright?"

You open your mouth to reply, to brush off his worry with a lighthearted remark, but the words stick in your throat like glue. A lump forms, growing larger with each passing second until it feels like you're choking on the emotions you've held back all day. Your vision blurs, and you blink rapidly, trying to clear the unwanted tears threatening to spill over. The weight of the day—the pain, the exhaustion—crashes down upon you like a wave, relentless and unforgiving.

"Everything," you breathe out, your voice so faint it's almost swallowed by the silence. "Everything hurts. I'm just... so tired."

The last word is barely a exhale as your eyes flutter shut. You can't keep them open any longer. The walls are closing in, and all you want is to escape into the comforting darkness.

Remus is at your side before you can even finish speaking, his arms coming around you in a gentle embrace. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. His presence is a balm, a steady rock in the storm that has become your world. You lean into him, letting yourself relax for the first time in what feels like forever.

"We've got you," Remus murmurs, his voice soft against your ear. "We're here, and we're going to take care of you."

James and Sirius exchange a glance, a silent understanding passing between them. They've seen you like this before, but it never gets easier. James moves first, pushing the wheelchair towards the bed while Sirius steps forward to help lift you out of it. They work as a team, their movements slow and careful to avoid causing you any more pain than you're already in. You can do it yourself, but you don't have the energy to argue.

Remus' hold on you tightens slightly as they guide you onto the bed, his fingertips pressing lightly into your back. He helps settle you into the middle of the blankets, arranging them around you until you're as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.

As you settle amidst their warmth and familiarity, something within you uncoils just slightly. Not entirely—not yet—but enough for you to draw breath without the sharp sting of panic accompanying it.

Sirius eases himself down next to you, his muscles protesting the sudden drop in adrenaline. He drapes an arm over your waist, his hand coming to rest lightly on your side. "Thought we'd keep it low-key tonight," he says, his voice a low rumble. "Maybe build a blanket fort, tell some stories. Prongs was just about to regale us with the tale of how he tried to impress Evans by enchanting the entire Quidditch pitch to change colours."

"Merlin," James groans, throwing a pillow at Sirius. It's a feeble attempt at deflection, one that Sirius easily catches with a grin. "Do we really have to discuss this? It was third year."

"Absolutely." The word is firm, final, and yet it carries an undercurrent of mirth that only Sirius Black can manage in such circumstances.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips, and they're all looking at you then, their own smiles tentative mirrors of the one you've managed to summon. The room feels less like a prison, more like a sanctuary, each breath drawn easier than the last.

Remus's arm, warm and steady, wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side. "We don't have to talk," he murmurs, so softly it's almost lost amid the rustling of sheets and the distant hooting of an owl outside. "If you want to just lie here and rest, that's fine too."

You nod against his chest, each rise and fall of his breath a lullaby in its own right. "That sounds nice," you admit, the words barely above a whisper.

The silence stretches between you all, not oppressive but rather filled with a hushed reverence for the moment. The only sounds are the crackle of the fire eating away at logs, the rustle of blankets shifting over limbs, and the steady rhythm of your own breath mingling with those of the boys.

You feel their warmth seeping into your chilled bones—James's arm draped across your legs, Sirius's hand resting lightly on your knee, Remus's chest rising and falling beneath your cheek. It's as though the very marrow of them reaches out to soothe your battered soul, offering solace without words. For a time, the outside world ceases to exist; there is no pain, no fear, only the sanctuary they've formed around you.

James stirs beside you, his fingers brushing against your arm, a feather-light touch that nonetheless anchors you to the here and now. "Fancy hearing something that'll make you laugh?" His voice is soft, almost hesitant, as if he fears shattering the delicate peace that has settled over you all.

Your nod is barely perceptible, your head moving just a fraction against the soft fabric of Remus's shirt. But James seems to understand, and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"Earlier today," he begins, a hint of amusement colouring his tone, "I was speaking with McGonagall about the Quidditch match next week."

There's a pause, as if James is savouring the memory, allowing the silence to build anticipation.

"Just a casual chat, you know?" His voice is casual, but there's a gleam in his eye that suggests otherwise. "She mentioned that she'd been watching our last practice and had noticed some of my...er...more impressive moves."

The air between them crackles with unspoken laughter as they both recall the audacious stunts James has become known for on the pitch—manoeuvres that would have most teachers reaching for a calming draught.

"I thought she might actually compliment me for once," James continues, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth despite the reprimand that follows. "But instead, she told me not to even think about attempting any of those tricks in the actual match...or I'd find myself cleaning every cauldron in the castle."

Laughter erupts from Sirius, a sound as contagious as it is genuine. He shakes his head, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth. "Only you, Prongs. Only you could get under McGonagall's skin like that."

James' response is a nonchalant shrug, but the glint of satisfaction in his gaze is unmistakable. "Well, someone has to keep her on her toes."

There's a soft chuckle that bubbles up from your throat, the sound foreign to your own ears after the day's trials. But it's real, as real as the warmth that begins to replace the cold dread that had settled in your bones. You shift, the movement small, but it brings you closer to Remus, his arm secure around your shoulders.

"None of us are leaving until you're feeling better," Sirius insists, tugging at the blanket that drapes over your group. His hands work with a gentleness you wouldn't expect from someone so often ruled by passion and impulsivity. He moulds the fabric around you, his actions forming a protective cocoon against the chill of the world outside.

"Forever," James echoes, his voice carrying the weight of a promise. There's a rustling under the blankets as he reaches for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours. The connection is grounding, a reminder that you're not alone, even when the shadows creep in.

You turn your gaze towards them, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames in the grate. For the first time since you awoke this morning, the fatigue that clings to your mind wavers. It's still there, a lingering spectre, but it no longer feels insurmountable. The pain has not vanished, but it's been hushed, its cries less deafening in the company of those who refuse to let it claim you.

Remus moves to sit next to you, his hand finding a place in your hair, fingers gently sifting through the strands. The gesture is as soothing as a lullaby, slowly coaxing your tense muscles into relaxation. "We've got you," he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper but carrying the weight of an unspoken promise. "Always."

The silence returns, but it's different now—comfortable, a blanket of safety rather than a shroud of dread. The space between heartbeats stretches out, filled with quiet understanding and shared resolve.

James lets out a yawn that seems to start from his toes and ripple all the way up to the crown of his head. He stretches, arms reaching for some invisible point before they fall back down, landing in the mess of blankets with a soft thud. "I'm so tired," he admits, voice thick with exhaustion. "But I'm staying right here."

"Same here," Sirius mumbles, his words muffled as he buries his face in a cushion. "Let's just live here now."

You fight back a chuckle, your eyes fluttering closed as you listen to their bickering. The warmth from the fire licks at your skin, and the blankets cocoon you in a comfort that feels almost foreign after the day's events. Your muscles ache with a fatigue that seems bone-deep, but it's a good kind of tired—the kind that comes from exertion and laughter, not fear.

"Sounds perfect," you murmur, barely louder than the crackling flames.

Your mind begins to drift, lulled by the heat and the steady rhythm of their breathing. The tension that's been coiled tight within you since this morning gradually unwinds, replaced by a sense of peace you haven't felt in far too long. You're not certain when sleep finally claims you—only that one moment you're listening to their soft voices mingling with the fire's song, and the next, you're sinking into a darkness that promises rest.

You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your own anymore. You have them. And in this moment, that’s all you need.

#james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #poly!marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #poly!marauders x you

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egg-emperor · 1 day

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I don't reflect on it much now but it's times like these where I get harsh reminders of how bad of a year 2022 was and realize how far I've come

Becoming the target of harassment and slander due to a combination of my Eggman creations and then being blamed for my abuse after learning the reasons behind it was really hard. I almost died months before that campaign even happened because I was in a terrible place anyway and some knew and still hurt me and made it worse. They made me regret surviving for a while. And if I expressed how hurt I was by it all, I was called manipulative

I lost so much in so many ways and had vile things said about me and my abuse and if it wasn't for the real friends and the lovely followers and anons who stuck by and supported me, I don't think I'd still be here. I was still acting out in terrible ways online for a while after because I was in an absolute awful place mentally due to irl and online struggles. There's a lot of deleted posts and DMs I regret but I genuinely wasn't thinking right for months, my mind was genuinely fucked

I developed some bad habits that I haven't fully recovered from and fluctuate between how bad they are but I'm glad it's one of the only things left to work on. The stress, anxiety, and depression of 2022 worsened my health issues a lot as last year I started experiencing increased fainting and other physical health issues. At that point I realized I needed a change for my safety and health. For a while I didn't even feel like I deserved to be helped so it was hard but I finally did it

Now I'm getting support with bills, going to doctor and hospital appointments to look into my disability for diagnosis and hopefully to be helped, I have a therapist I just started with. I'm personally not an SSRI meds kind of guy so I've been doing every other method to recover instead. I've also made a ton of progress mentally on my own with my mindset, it's far less of a negative and angry place than it was then. I manage how I deal with setbacks better, I don't feel like I'm back at square one when things get bad now

I spend far less time thinking about what happened or letting their negativity consume me. There's been a few times since where parts of it have come back up and it's been challenging at times but I can handle them more rationally and be the sensible level-headed one and assure that I don't go back to that place. It's okay for me to be hurt by it and realize what happened to me was wrong but I don't let it haunt me every moment anymore. It's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake and last when I go to sleep

And I've realized what really matters and what's really important to me. The passion and joyful expression of the things I love and all the great people that are still here that I have the delight of getting to know and talk to. There's still a lot of challenges coming up in the future but I'm happy that it has nothing to do with everything back then. I want to express myself and my passion and never feel the shame they wanted me to. I want to get better. I finally want to live. I have hope and believe better times are ahead

And I'm very grateful for everyone who is warm, kind and supportive of me along the way. I appreciate everyone who is accepting of me and make me feel like I finally belong somewhere. Thank you 💜

#case in point I already managed to turn those feelings I got seeing a painful reminder this morning #into reflection and gratitude for how much better I'm doing now lol #important

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engagemythrusters · 2 years

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It would be nice if Star Wars actually treated their "good" disabled characters as actual disabled characters.

We see a lot of "bad" disabled characters have viewable disabling disabilities (ex: the latest The Bad Batch episode featured a cane-user with a prosthetic arm. This man was a hoarder of resources, and quite greedy and self-serving. Disability=hoarding resources is a TERRIBLE thing for Star Wars to highlight, but there they just went. That's a whole post I can make on its own, but I digress.)

But there are so few times that Star Wars truly acknowledges its disabled characters' disability in a positive light. It is always swept under the rug and forgotten about. This is what we have for our disabled "good" characters:

Anakin's hand only ever has problems twice--both of which aren't even true issues. His hand just gets caught by magnets. That's it. Sure, one time a little spark went through it durring the Zillo Beast arc, but despite all other mechanical appliances dying and short-circuting, Anakin's mechanical prosthetic does NOT. They didn't want to show Anakin without the use of his hand. Oh and he's turned into the "bad" character when his disability becomes actually acknowledged. Facisit disabled person... how charming (sarcasm).

Luke's prosthetic hand also does not cause him any true issues--again, minor inconveniences.

Echo's prosthetics are not acknowledged, ever. They act as if Echo has two hands, and he's constantly seen holding stuff as if he has two hands. Sorry, but he can't balance a giant ass box on a scomp like that. He would have to compensate--move his arm so that it balances differently.

Tech does not need to be more than autistic-coded. It's not a requirement to label everything. However, he has only had issues with his autism once. That's a good first step! But it's just a first step. Not to mention, he's a whitewashed savant. This is the most blatant, frustrating autism stereotype. I've already made a post about this.

Kanan and Chirrut's blindness is perhaps the most visibly disabling disability in any of the shows; however, said blindness is magically compensated for by the Force. They both still struggles with many things, which is a good change of pace, but ultimatley, it's not the representation it's meant to be. And, for Kanan, it is CURED at the end, before he DIES. Chirrut ALSO dies. I think that speaks for itself.

Yes, they are still disabled. That is not in question. But it's repackaged in a 'non-disabling' sense. Because why show disability when everything can be magically fixed? Why show disabled characters having realistic issues with their disability when it could be disabled characters made palatable for an abled audience?

Yes, a good number of disabled people would like to be, for lack of a truly appropriate term, ""fixed"" (a whole different topic, though--and a huge one at that). I don't doubt many amputees would probably like the a prosthetic like Anakin's. And yes, it would be nice to be so easily and readily accepted as disabled people like they are in Star Wars.

However.

The continued treatment of disabled people as if they aren't disabled is a massive problem in today's, real-life world. Because we don't have that luxury of being treated as nicely. So as great as it is to dream of a life where we're accepted as normal, IT IS IMPORTANT TO VIEW THEIR DISABILITY AS NORMAL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

It is necessary to see openly disabled people being clearly disabled, while still being viewed as equal, "normal" people. When disability is only shown openly as disabling when it is for the greedy or the facists... that is ableist writing.

All I want is for a main character to be openly disabled, in a disabling way, rather than just magically fixed and unacknowledged. Disability representation can only go so far when it is just "hey, here's a disabled character." We need them to be acknowledged as disabled, too.

#how many times do blind people have to say 'hey can you stop giving characters magical sight-like abilities?'#because i can't tell you how many times i've read articles and posts and everything where blind people ask for a regular blind character #only to have magical shit #and how many times do we autistic people have to beg for a someone other than a savant white boy?#how many times do we disabled people have to ask for realistic expressions of pain?!#i have only ONCE seen a good and realistic example of a character with chronic pain (one a fellow disabled w/chronic pain writer wrote)#it is SO HARD to be disabled and watch 'disability rep' mean nothing more than 'hey look they've got prosthetics!'#and then have NO OTHER EXPRESSION OF THAT DISABILITY #YES they are still disabled. but NO they are not treated correctly.#they are being made palatable for the ABLED AUDIENCE.#and i'm tired of it.#disability #disability representation #disability in fiction #ableism in media #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars: the clone wars #star wars: the bad batch #star wars: rebels #star wars: rogue one #star wars original trilogy #please note this is not a fully-fledged paper. i could do that. i could absoultely do that with my rhetoric degree.#however. this is a blog post.#please keep that in mind!

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uncanny-tranny · 11 months

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You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize)#(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that)#(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view)#i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle)#hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm.#mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience)#but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍

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b-blushes · 2 months

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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3

#its thursday quest #god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it #(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day #would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm #there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face #their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so #in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh #in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7 #My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes #and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental #illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this #social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that #impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine

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soullessjack · 3 months

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oh my god like. the stark contrast between mob’s inner self — saying that everyone around him held him back, everyone was afraid of him, everyone treated him differently, everyone only saw him as something to use and that he was never accepted by anyone at any point; that he would never be accepted for who he really internally feels he is — vs all of mob’s friends and family repeatedly saying “we aren’t scared of you because we know you and we love you, this is just a part of you that we can live with and accept,”— not to mention reigen fully admitting that he was using mob and apologizing for it, as well as telling mob that the only person who really needs to accept mob is himself..? It’s just. It’s so good man

#cal.txt #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #also i think the other side of Reigen’s beliefs towards psychic powers is heavily underrated #no they don’t make you special or entitled to anything but they also don’t make you weird or bad or abnormal #it’s even better through an autistic lens too .. like wow #not to say mp100 is direct disability representation but i feel like most disability rep in media has this tendency or pattern #of framing disability as a discardable part of someone’s life/identity as a way to feign acceptance of it #and they spend more time trying to convince someone that they aren’t Really different #which like i guess the sentiment is there or whatever #but it’s the same as saying you don’t see color as a way to express your non-racism #but mp100 is like. ‘you’re very different from other people but you’re not any less acceptable or less normal for it’#and you don’t have to rely on the acceptance of others to make your difference seem okay either #godddddd it’s so special to me I can’t believe it’s over forever #also the fact that everyone was also willing to take on whatever burden or challenge mob went through as part of his powers/being different #everything in your life is a part of you and we love it and we love you so it’s a part of us too #lord im coming up #GOD ITS SOOOOO #yeah im dead #Reigen could’ve fixed jack but that’s not worth a post I fear #very small overlap of interests #autism coded #autistic characters #<- went back just for those tags sorry

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woodswake · 23 days

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sometimes i think, in marginalized communities (maybe especially disability communities) people fall into a trap of viewing things as... not exactly a competition, but resenting others who are also suffering because they are suffering less, or suffering differently

and that experience itself is very common to have happen, and nothing is wrong about feeling that way! we can all be a little mean and petty in private sometimes as a treat

i think though it causes problems when people take that feeling and extrapolate it out to "and therefore the other people aren't really suffering at all"/"and therefore the other people shouldn't get to complain at all"

like, to me there is a big difference between "hey, you know you are relatively privileged in (not appearing visibly disabled/being nd but having been labelled gifted/being read as white or straight or cis/being trans but not transfem/etc. etc.)" - which is true and an important reminder!!

and "how dare you complain about the experiences you had with that version of being marginalized" or dismissing that there might be particular unique aspects of that aspect of being marginalized that make things difficult

like, i would never argue that as someone who is non-aligned nb and read as a cis woman, i am MORE marginalized than a transfem person who doesn't "pass". but i would say it is reasonable for me to point out frustrations and hardships about that position - both those we have in common (e.g. people equating sex and gender) and those that are unique to my situation (feeling invisibilized by binarist phrasing/thinking, frustration with knowing that even if i had infinite money and resources i could never be read by default as my real gender, etc.)

#disability #trans issues #transgender #social justice #ask to tag #i think sometimes this is what people mean when they say 'valid' - e.g. your issues are real and your frustration is too #but that word has become very diluted to the point of unclear meaning #this is related to but separate from conflicting needs imo #to be clear i am ALSO not saying the thing i am asking people to do less of (the second thing) is the same as -#expressing frustration/anger that a certain subtype of marginalization is represented more/given more resources/etc.#that falls under the relative privilege thing imo #okay last tangent. sometimes also it is not clear that one experience is linearly MORE or LESS privileged #sometimes it is! but not always. like i think it is needlessly pitting people against each other to say e.g. that physical disabilities -#are ALWAYS more life-affecting/disprivileging/what have you than mental/cognitive/emotional disabilities. or vice versa #and in general i think it is often to think in terms of individual specifics or particular experiences. what experiences do i not have etc #this was long and rambling #sage wisdom

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