#because i hate when people just talk about what their grades are or especially irl. i have friends with a 4.0 gpa i hate when they compare

[groenendaelfic]

Do you think Simon would actually be willing to become the Prince Consort tho?! Like yes he LOVES Wille but I don't think he'd ever wanna officially set a foot in that system let alone give up his career for being a working royal

The quick answer is yes, I think he’d thrive. Go read my fic Becoming Prince Simon for details.

The long answer is that I think that just like we tend to make Wilhelm into this social justice prince who’d love being a house husband and hates being a royal, when in fact he is quite comfortable with ignoring staff while he walks past them in a ratty old t-shirt and sweatpants because there’s nothing more normal than living in a palace and having staff cater to him for him, and he actively enjoys ordering Jan-Olof to send him food to the middle of nowhere Hillerska, to name but two examples of how Wilhelm very much doesn’t mind being royal or privileged, and just hates being told what to do or say and having to act like someone he isn’t, Simon, too, isn’t this grand idealist.

Sure he’d like being treated fairly, who doesn't, especially when you always draw the short straw even while following the rules while your classmates get away with breaking them without problem, but the truth is he’s rather pragmatic.

He gets back in contact with his drug addict, alcoholic and to a currently unknown degree abusive father so that he can acquire alcohol for his underage classmates to drink so that Sara can attend a party, and then steals drugs to among other things pay for math tutoring because he wants good grades.

I’m not saying Simon would jump at the chance to join the royal family, but he’d come to see the advantages, and I’m not just talking about him being with Wilhelm, but also all the good he can do. He doesn't need to be a monarchist for that.

So yes, I don’t only think Simon would be willing to become Prince Consort, but that he’d thrive once he got accustomed to the idea.

After all modern day Sweden isn’t Czarist Russia or pre-revolutionary France, you can’t just burn that shit down (and get the Soviet Union or Emperor Napoleon), because that wouldn't work and attempting so would do more harm than good. 

You need reform and systematic change, and to change a system you need to interact with it, for example from the inside, and as spouse to the Crown Prince and later King, Simon would be in the ideal position to affect that.

He doesn’t need any actual power to highlight problems and topics important to him or for people to pay attention and listen. It doesn’t always have to be Diana shaking hands with a man with aids in the 80s, it can be something as trivial as the irl second in line opening a fairytale trail in her duchy as a toddler.

What the royal family does (and doesn’t! do) gets publicity and is reported. Simon knows that. He grew up seeing it all the time.

And the people most likely to take note of what the royal family does? Those I dare say are also some of the ones who could do with a bit more exposure to the causes Simon would highlight.

Also not to be mean but give up what career? We know Simon enjoys making music and he wants to get out of small town Bjärstad, but as far as we know he has no great, specific career ambitions he’d have to give up.

I’m gonna end this with a potentially triggering and extreme example, so take care.

When the royal court announced that the irl Swedish crown princess had an eating disorder I was in junior high. I'll always feel sorry for what she had to go through so publicly and it definitely is another point on the list of why monarchies and celebrity culture are the worst, but I also cannot overstate how much good that publicity did when it came to bringing awareness to the topic of eating disorders.

Suddenly that was something that was seriously discussed as an illness by people in power and who otherwise never would have, and not just in a ‘haha those silly teenage girls wanting to look like Kate Moss’ kind of way, because it was the crown princess and not some random pop starlet, and if that can happen to someone like her, then who is to say it can’t also affect our own children etc?

We were taught about it in school, in detail, when my older cousins never were, how to recognize them, how to help, where to go for help. More, there suddenly were places to help, places that were actively advertised which hadn’t been before.

There were clinical programs being opened and awareness campaigns launched, and not just in Sweden. (I’m not saying she was the only reason, it was the late nineties, it was really, really necessary, but she was a big deciding factor when it came to the amount and speed at which things changed)

It sucks that royals and celebrities highlighting important issues can make such a difference, and I’m the first to go yell abolish all systems of inequality irl, but Simon could do a lot of good as a working royal, and he’d actually care about changing things, instead of just finding it a boring necessity like irl royals and the YR royal family including Wilhelm do, which is why I think that in a few years, given time, he would very much be willing to become part of the system if only to bring what change he can, especially when no one else can take his place and do it instead of him.

[adamsvanrhijn]

HATE the "hey you are mildly nerdy about [subject] therefore i think you have autism" thing this webbed site has going on. Over 60% of autistic people are non-communicable. Of those who are capable of communicating - and therefore of running a fandom blog - over 30% read below their grade level. "Autism = nerdy superpowers" is such an ableist and unrealistic portrayal of autism it's actually offensive. I'd love to know how many people on here actually have an irl autism diagnosis (not Aspergers - the damage done to autistic people by combining the two and therefore centering far less disabled people as the face/voice of autism cannot be exaggerated) and how many are just playing into gross ableist stereotypes.

I hear what you're saying! When discussing autism there is definitely a very clear bias in the general fandom-y nerdy user bases of Tumblr + Tiktok + Twitter toward people who can communicate with spoken & written language, and the prevalence/prominence of those ideas has altered the way people perceive autism in a way that can reposition an already vulnerable demographic of disabled people for whom resources are already very scarce.

I will say though I don't think the autism spectrum disorder designation including people of various communication abilities and developmental delays inherently centers people who communicate at average or above average levels. Like, Asperger's is not diagnosed anymore in part because the symptom cluster was not wholly unique from autism & the people making the distinction thought that it was not useful for diagnostics and care. At least to my memory what we are seeing online right now is very recent within the last like 2-4 years and seems a lot more Prevalent online than in real life?

Part of why I feel like it's more of an issue online is that where I've lived, resources as well as general understanding of autism seems to be centering people who cannot communicate and their families and caregivers which is how it has been since I was growing up. But I live in the middle of nowhere and that might not be true other places.

I think the fact that the clinical distinction is no longer made combined with how people who right now are nerdy tweens and teens lost 1-2 years of normal social development and school attendance is probably a huge factor, and this might not be a long term issue the further we move away from the impact of covid.

On a personal note—

I also think that due to the nature of how online communities work, we don't have a view into how people with above average communication skills might be affected by symptoms of autism offline, and that some of that might be intentional in that people don't want to bring those experiences into online spaces. People like to control the image they have online, you know??

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016 as a young adult by a clinical psychologist after a childhood ADHD diagnosis, and my also double diagnosed brother has significantly more noticeable symptoms than I do including communication delays that I never had (I got the "little professor" moniker). I'm not sure what his first diagnosis was but we are both higher functioning/lower support needs while also in our youth being objectively disabled in a way that relates to autism symptoms. I didn't have support growing up and once I was in middle school I failed every semester until I dropped out of high school (this was also due to homophobic bullying) and he was on an individualized education plan for all of his school years.

I think a lot of people find solace in what their autism symptoms make easier, more engaging, or fun for them and want to focus on that and talk about that rather than all of the things that are difficult for them—and I bet this is especially true with younger people who might be more defensive in general and very, very conscious of how they are perceived offline. "Nerdy superpowers" online might be "can't physically go into the grocery store because the fluorescent lights are too bright" and "only talks out loud to 4 people and is ostracized in school & social spaces" offline.

[made-this-cause-why-not]

Quick rant about ATYD because, the slander just does not make sense to me. It's not a perfect fic and people are allowed to not like it but some of the reasons for people not liking it are just so weird to me. Like- people don't like it because Sirius is sexist.... Sirius is a teenage boy. Do the people that say that hang out with teenage boys IRL? They are sexist and sometimes racists, pieces of shit- especially around their guy friends or girl they think 'are cool with it'. Also, it was the 70's. Like, do people not realize that a white, rich (like fully out of touch with reality, Billionaire with money dating back to the 15th century Rich), SEVERLY TRAUMATIZED cis guy from the 70's would be a piece of shit as a child. Like, as Sirius got older he would grow to regret all the fucked up stuff he said an take the time to actually apologize and stuff but we never saw that because he was 21 when he was imprisoned. He never even left his frat boy era. And then I have seen others be mad because they made Dorcas white. This is a complaint I have only seen from white people and as a Black mauraders fan, it literally does not matter. Like- Dorcas meadows is a character mentioned less than five times in the entire series, with her race being nothing more than a token black person that J.K shoved in The Order to prove it wasn't all white and that the HP world has diversity. Her being made white changes nothing in the plot. People also say that wolfstar is toxic in it, like this isn't a fic about two deeply traumatized boys with no role models or healthy relationships or base their own off of, other than Effie and Fleamont which they don't meet until they are like 13. Like, of course they are going to be toxic and fucked up- their entire lives have been fucked up. The only valid critique I have seen is the fact that the G word is used to describe the wolf packs. Granted, I didn't know that was a slur until 2021 or so, it's still a fucked up term to use. But yeah, I feel like people often say it's a bad work, which is fine if you just don't vibe with it, but the reasoning for not liking it makes me pause a little because 'what?'.

Edit: Forgot to say this but people also hate the characterization of Mary because she is oversexualized, to which I say: so is Sirius. Like, they are both sooooo fucking slutty and sleep around a bunch, the fact that people only talk about Mary in this light can be attributed to one of two things. Either A: grasping at straws, or B: Putting the weight on Remus's narration. Him being inexperienced for alot of his time as hogwarts would allow for any kiss or hookup seem like the end of the world for in his eyes and by reading with the grain I can understand that- but even then don't slut shame the black women and not the Black. "but mary lost her virginity at 14"- people get their sexual urges right as they hit puberty. Teens are horny. In the 7th grade my middleschool took an all day trip that used to be over night until two students got caught fucking in a cabin. 13 year old 7th graders. I am not saying it is right to loose your virginity at such a young age but it isn't unheard of.

Edit 2: Last edit I swear, but I just saw some one's post saying they didn't like how remus having a learning disability was for shits and gigs or that he did drugs and joined a gang. Firstly, remus having a learning disability is a beautiful metaphor for his lycanthropy and class. He is studying along side his friends, completely confused and just playing along to not give anything away. It doubles onto how isolated Remus must have felt and his whole problem with opening up to others. Also, the fact that Remus had to push himself so hard academically just to get the same grades as his rich friends who coast by on their name and the fact that they have been learning latin and french from tutors since they could walk- I mean, it's just chef's kiss. And, do people not realize that people in the real world do drugs? That a lot of people struggle with addiction and are more prone to said struggle when they grow up in a shitty environment with out learning proper ways to cope with the traumatic events? Remus was in a gang because he was surrounded by people who were in a gang- people who understood him more than James or Sirius did.

Like, I know that I can't really say this because I am a legal adult ranting on tumblr, but all of the slander just makes me want to tell people to go outside. Make friends irl- not mutuals. Touch grass, hand out with people you age. Like yes atyd isn't perfect but it was very much accurate to how real people would have been in the 70's and I personally prefer that to the babygirl-ification of every male character in Harry Potter to the points where they are almost caricatures of themselves

[metukika]

ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha

maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)

and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU‘RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!

aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!

about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.

but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.

but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.

(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)

now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!

for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)

something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.

when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).

after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.

i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.

that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))

anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).

about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!

my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.

alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.

so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.

look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.

the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.

at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.

if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.

but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.

kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.

he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha

speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways

the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.

do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.

also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.

it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.

its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.

now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.

***

now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!

canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.

lets talk about his past a little more.

souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.

souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)

souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.

anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.

he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.

and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.

but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.

thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.

his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!

in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!

now lets get into his relationship with sonia!

i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)

i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.

this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!

itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3

briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.

hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!

ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.

im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.

now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)

in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3

maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)

but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.

also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.

i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.

i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.

thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.

to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!

this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this

[restinslices]

I’m ranting about being depressed because I don’t wanna keep spamming my friends. You don’t have to read this. I’ll probably delete this later.

Quick trigger warning for depression, mental illness in general, sewer slide thoughts, just a bunch of icky feelings. I am not feeling cash money

Going through hospitalization and thinking “wow, I’ve gotten better” only to get extremely depressed again is so disappointing. I went through multiple hospitals from January 2022 to around August or September of 2023. Now I knew I’d get depressed again because that’s just how life is, but I didn’t think it’d get so bad. I’ve gotten depressed since then and I’ve handled it pretty well but now I’m exhausted as fuck and the fact I lowkey wanna *insert windows shutdown sound* is so disappointing and makes me feel like a complete failure because I thought we were better than this twin. I’m both sleeping all day and have no energy to do simple things like walking to the other room and not being able to sleep at all. I’m both glad I’m alive and don’t have some illness, and “if someone were to shoot me, I’d probably thank them”. Like??? It feels like all the work I did means absolutely nothing. Like everyone put their faith in me and I’m letting them down over and over again. Especially this time.

And I don’t know wtf I’m doing. I feel like people really don’t understand how hard it is to look forward and have solid goals when you were never supposed to live this long. I didn’t think I’d make it out of middle school. Then I did. Then I didn’t think I’d graduate high school. Then I did. And it’s like “well… uhh, this is awkward”. Everyone has something they’re doing and you still can’t believe you’re actually alive and breathing still. It’s such a pathetic feeling and I hate it.

And my family has a tendency to not really pay attention or validate anything I say because I’m the youngest sibling and I always make jokes. If I don’t say “I’m gonna kill myself”, no one actually listens to what I say which is frustrating because I don’t feel like I should be at that point to gain a bit of sympathy. A lot of times, I just wanna rant and know someone is listening. I remember I tried this with my mom and said how I felt like no one listens to me because they only see me as the goofy sibling and she said, very irritated, “well you can’t change how people see you”. My mistake for interrupting the game on your phone. And this is a constant thing and I’m always bouncing between “wow, I really wish I felt heard” and “dude stop bitching”. I’m finna start tweaking and climb up my walls.

But yeah. I feel like dog shit because depression and wanting to Kate Marsh is beating my ass right now. And I feel like a failure for not being able to just thug it out. Idk. I feel like me being this depressed just shows no matter how much help I get, I’m never gonna be the person people want or need me to be. I’m always gonna be the fuck up. Younger me would despise me. She was so smart, confident, pretty, thin, sociable, mentally stable, plus other shit. She was recognized as young and gifted because of how great her grades were. Now I can hardly do math without getting a headache, I stutter a bunch, my confidence is ass, I’m clearly not mentally stable, I get panic attacks if I’m in public for too long or when talking to new people, I’m everything she never wanted to be. She would be BLOWN if she saw how she ended up.

This isn’t me fishing for sympathetic messages or attention. I’m just getting shit out.

Before I end this, I wanna make it clear that this is NOT a sewer slide note. I’m just stressed and sad and I feel like I’m bitching to my friends irl too much so I’m just venting here. Will I delete this later? Find out next episode.

[mental-health-advice]

I don't have anyone to turn to in my life. I spend every day feeling hollow and angry and tired of just everything. I don't have irl friends, pretty sure I'm the weirdo at my high school. (speaking of my high school, all my hopes and dreams are crushed, I thought ninth grade, moving schools, would finally be my chance to escape the hell hole my previous school was for 9 years. BUT NOOOOO, I gotta ruin everything! The high school I'm at is amazing, with good teachers, interesting people, and so many opportunities, and I wasted it all because I'm too much of an idiot when it comes to anything). My parents aren't necessarily bad people, I know they love me...but I hate them. God I hate them. They mock me, make light of my issues, say stuff like "Finally you're happy about something" when I say I like the tea they bought, or "You didn't use to be like that". My dad, I told him I didn't have any friends, big mistake, now he says stuff like "ofc you don't have friends because [blank]" and he won't quit it. My mom, always thinks I'm hiding smth, and it's so stressful. I am hiding smth that's true, my online friends because she thinks any person on the internet wants to kidnap me. But honestly, my online friends are the only good thing in my life, they are the only thing that keeps me going and I love them. I think they are just sick and tired of me, this is why they behave like this. I am behind in my English assignments, big ones. It sucks, cuz I really like my teacher, she's an author, and I could learn so much from her. I think she hates me now. I promised my (new) therapist I'd start on it (i didn't tell her I have more, just one), and then I lied to her that I actually did one. She said she was proud of me, and I feel so rotten. Here's the thing that pains me the most, the thing I hate most about myself. I want to be a writer, but I have never written anything in my life, and it's incredibly shameful. I studied literary theory, watched countless of video essays on the art of writing, yet nothing. I don't have anything, anything at all. Good grades, nope. Irl friends nope. A passion, nope. Integrity, nope. Qualities, nope. That's not even everything. At this point, why shouldn't I die alone in a ditch? Because I know better than anyone that I deserve it.

Hey there,

Just because you may struggle to make friends in real life, does not mean that you are a weirdo at your school. I know of plenty of people who struggle to make friends and so turn to those friends that they know and met online. I don’t know, it’s just easier talking to those online because you can be who you truly are in the safety of knowing that you can end the friendship at anytime if something goes badly in it without any real consequence that you may have if you were to end a friendship that you may have on a face-to-face level. I myself to struggle to and keep real life friends and so more often than not turn to those online, so you are definitely not alone!

I am so sorry that you are finding school so tough and especially with assignments. You mentioned that you really liked your teacher and so I am wondering how you would feel about asking for help with some of your work or even just for some words of encouragement for doing it. It can be all too easy to say to someone such as in your situation your therapist, that you did an assignment when you didn’t, but it can be easier to be accountable for your work when you talk to/ get help from the person who has given you the work to do. I don’t believe that anyone is stupid, instead they may just need a little bit of help in doing assignments or certain work started. There is nothing wrong with this and despite you not having good grades at school at the moment, it doesn’t mean that this isn’t something you can work towards changing in the future. You just need to find something that works for you to enable you to accomplish what you need to and would like to in life. For me this is being accountable to someone. What do you think would be most helpful for you? What do you feel you need to be able to get your grades back on track?

I am so sorry that your parents aren’t more supportive of you in the ways that you need them to be. This can make things really tough because if they belittle you or make you feel bad in some aspect of your life then this can really impact on your self-confidence and consequently this can have a domino affect on the other things in your life.

I know that life seems really hard and exhausting right now for you, it sounds like everything is just really overwhelming for you. Almost like you are heaping everything together that isn’t great in your life right now into the one group and this makes you feel that a ‘good’ life is too far out of reach for you. Instead, could you split these things up into separate things? So for example, school, focus on the little things you can do to get yourself back on track. This may look like asking your teacher or someone else for help, writing out something like a timetable for yourself and allocating times to study, work on assignments, have time out for yourself and things like that. It may also be helpful to talk to someone you are close too and talk to them about everything you may need to do to catch up on with your school work and talking through with them how you may be able to tackle each assignment, each piece of work one at a time and let them know how you are going – keeping yourself accountable for what you are able to do! And no, this will not always be easy, and you may at times feel like you are not able to focus or do all of your school work – this is OK – but keep talking to that person whether you are able to do and complete your work or not, you never know, they may even be able to help you a bit if you need it!

So, after putting your schooling into a single group, you may want to focus on something else under a different group like making some friends in real life. Remember too that just because you may have real friends, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still have your online ones – you may just have to find a balance between the both, but this is something you can think about doing at a later date. So how may you find and make some friends in real life? Perhaps you could start with people at school like your fellow classmates. Maybe you could talk to a classmate about school work or a particular subject/ class and your likes and dislikes about it. Maybe ask if you could study with them at some point and especially when you both have tests or exams coming up. Some really good friendships start from school and they can form into being life long friendships.

You parents could be another thing you could separate from the above two things and work on separately. If you feel the need or would like to have a better relationship with them then how could you make that a reality? Could you perhaps talk to them a bit more about what you are struggling with and why/ how it’s affecting you overall. Talk to them about how they can be more supportive of you in the future, how some things that they say to you hurts and really affects you in a negative or not so good way. Of course though, you may not want to change anything about your relationship with your parents, and this is more than OK and especially if it may do more harm than good. Remember that you only have to do and work on those things you want to. This is your life and it’s important that you live it in your own way – whatever that may look like!

By separating problems instead of lumping them altogether, things can seem less daunting and more manageable. Is this something you could try to do with things that you struggle with or would like to change?

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[anonquack]

| Chef Q |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot, Requested by: @anotherdreamsimp !!

Word Count: 3328

Warnings: Some curse words, mainly just some fluff !

Summary: Quackity hasn't been streaming recently, and decides to come back with a cooking stream. Featuring you as a special guest.

Lately, Quackity had been studying like crazy for his final exams. That meant no streaming. He'd take a break from it to focus entirely on his studies. Absolutely nothing else.

He claimed to have his priorities straight, and had the goal to pass all exams with high scores in order to keep his grades looking wonderful.

This also meant there was rarely any time spent between you two, beside the occasional snack breaks you forced him to take so he wouldn't die at his desk.

It was tough not being able to show him a random video you'd found on the timeline, or walking up to chat with him whenever you wanted, but you knew this was very important to him. So you gladly supported him and offered as much support as possible.

Thankfully, all of his studying paid off and he passed with flying colors. A teacher had even informed him that he'd received the top score for one of his final exams.

You were the first person to hear the news, and you couldn't help but feel the adoration coursing through your body at how excited he was to tell you. Jumping up and down and shaking you lightly as he told you about his scores.

You'd offered to take him out for a celebratory meal, to treat him for all his hard work and also since you missed the fun outings with him. There was no way he was saying no to that.

—

After a day out and about, you two had made your way back home. Both of you were pleasantly full, having enjoyed the meal and also dessert. His request, for "doing so well on his finals." How could you possibly deny him that?

You both were also very content, a warmth and comfort surrounding the air around you two the entirety of the outing.

One thing that was impossible not to notice was how he'd become exceptionally clingy as soon as you two were out of the car. Gripping onto your hand tightly as you singlehandedly unlocked the front door.

"I've missed you so much these past few days." He murmered as you finally got the door to open and pulled him inside.

"I've missed you too." You hummed softly. It was always nice hearing him say these things. You locked the front door, and gently pulled at his hand to lead him back to your room.

It didn't take much of a pull for him to willingly follow you. "Can we cuddle or something?" He asked softly, almost as if he was a bit embarrassed to ask. You turned to him and gave him a grin, along with a small nod.

You'd missed him, even if you two had been in the same apartment this whole time. You'd especially been missing cuddles with him, considering he studied pretty much all day. There wasn't enough time being shared together so you gladly agreed to some cuddling.

Sooner than later, you two found yourselves in your pajamas, laying in bed peacefully as you scrolled through tiktok, screen tilted in order for him to see as well. It really was so nice finally being able to be this close to him again.

After some time, you found yourself looking through tweets on the timeline. A certain one caught his attention and he asked you to stop scrolling.

It was a tweet from a fan, saying they missed Quackity since he hadn't streamed in two weeks, but that overall they hoped his tests were going fine.

"Has it really been 2 weeks?" He asked aloud as he clicked on it and looked through the replies, all agreeing with the original tweet.

"Mm.. two and a half, I think." You answered, looking at him curiously as a guilty expression appeared on his face.

"Hey." You called out once you saw the expression wasn't leaving. He turned to you with a small frown.

"It's fine. You had a good reason for being gone so long. I'm sure they understand. Plus, you'll be back soon, right?" You asked, to which he nodded before sitting up from the cuddling position you two were in.

You sat up as well, noticing how his eyes widened slightly, and a small smile made its way onto his face.

"I just got a great idea." He exclaimed. "Y'know, I was going to just spend the next few days with you since I missed you but– how about we stream something together? That way I can enjoy both, and the fans get a stream too."

You stared at him in surprise. The fans did know he was dating someone, but you rarely ever came out on streams, not because he didn't want you to but because you didn't deem it to be necessary.

The few times you had been on, you'd received tons of love and support from the chat, so you didn't think anything too bad would happen if you were to appear on his stream again.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked curiously. The other times you'd been on were him playing horror games and an extremely scuffed IRL stream.

"Well.. I haven't done a cooking stream in a while." He began, but you quickly shook your head.

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're going to make us eat some monstrosity‐ like your past cooking streams." You visibly shuddered at the thought. You remember having to help clean up the mess after. And no matter how funny it had been, the actual cleanup was awful.

"No no– I was thinking maybe we do a serious one, y'know? Chat hasn't really been able to see my cooking abilities, and well.. I'd say I am pretty good at it." He grinned. He was unfortunately right.

You relaxed at the mention of it being a 'serious' cooking stream. It could never really be too serious when it came to Quackity, but it meant not eating dog food or poorly made pizza. You were in.

"So we'll make an actual.. edible.. meal?" You questioned again, just to be sure. To which he nodded.

"Yeah, and we can enjoy that meal after. Like a date. What do you say?" He was beaming. It was his creativity rolling in. And he was probably so proud of himself for finding a way to spend time with you yet also give chat the stream content they'd been missing out on.

"Alright. I'm in."

You hadn't seen him this eager to get out of bed and head to the grocery store ever before. Chat was really in for a fun stream tomorrow.

—

He'd tweeted it out several hours before you two planned on starting the stream that he'd be streaming today with a special guest, and that he had his chef hat ready to go.

As you scrolled through Twitter you could see the timeline freaking out over 'COOKING STREAM' and 'SPECIAL GUEST'. Lots of discussion over who it was.

You couldn't help but feel a bit bad since the fans were probably speculating that he'd met up with his online friends, but in reality it was just you. In that case, you'd try your best to make this a fun stream, and your presence an enjoyable one.

As the time for the stream to start got closer, you helped him set the ingredients you'd be using onto the table, in a way where it was in perfect view for the stream to see and follow along if they wished.

"We're supposed to start in 5." You called out as he slipped his beanie on, fixing the few hair strands that were sticking out a bit too much.

He smiled and made his way over to you, cupping your face and giving you a small kiss. "I'm so excited to do some cooking with you. They're all going to love you."

You couldn't help the warm feeling that spread over your chest at his words. It was like introducing you all over again. He'd recently gained a lot of new followers, and that meant they probably had no idea who you were. Always fun going through that again.

He dealt with some last minute editing and placing, checking all ingredients were there and that everything was set, before hitting the 'Go Live' button.

It didn't take long for the viewers to increase after the tweet notification went out, and the starting soon screen was the only thing really protecting you two from the roaring chat.

Everyone was dying to know what was going on, who the special guest was, and whether this would be yet another scuffed cooking stream.

You stood behind the camera as the starting soon screen finally disappeared and he began greeting the viewers, thanking all the subs coming in, and eventually also giving them a little update on how he'd done on his exams.

You felt so proud as you watched him boast about how his studying had paid off, and how he talked about being the happiest he'd been in a while. He deserved all of it. And chat thought so too.

After some rambling about his test scores and what they'd be cooking today, chat finally became too impatient and asked for a reveal of the special guest.

"Fine. Fine. Since you guys are so fucking impatient." He huffed, watching as chat flew by, telling him to 'get on with it' and to 'TELL US WHO IT IS'. You couldn't help but laugh at the relationship he had with his chat. Always bullying each other but usually knowing when to stop and send love.

"I've actually had them on multiple other streams, not so much recently.. but they've been on my horror streams.. some IRL streams.. and they are really really special to me, chat!" He said with a big smile. Some of chat was confused as to who he was referring to, while older fans began to question if it was YOU. They were very smart.

"Some of the viewers might not know of them, so this is like I'm introducing them to chat all over again! Come over here." He finally directed the last part at you. You couldn't help but feel the sudden spike in anxiety, but chose to ignore it as you smiled back at him and headed into the frame beside him.

With a small wave and a greeting, you watched as chat completely broke. A mess of question marks and your name being spread in chat. You couldn't help but laugh. It was an overwhelmingly positive reaction as Quackity explained to new viewers that you were his partner, and that older fans were already aware of this for a while now.

The amount of 'y/n our beloved' and people asking if quackity's partner was single were abundant in chat, and you couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking the newer viewers would hate you or something.

Having the approval of Quackity's chat also made you feel lighter, it made it easier to let go and just enjoy the cooking stream.

You two began to explain what you'd be cooking to chat, and you made it very clear that he actually had to try and cook this time, to which chat agreed wholeheartedly.

He'd taken a recipe from his mom for one of his favorite meals, one he hadn't had in a while. He explained to chat that he wanted to see how well you and him could recreate it until you two took a trip to visit his family.

"Hopefully we don't disappoint her too much." You mumbled as he placed the chef hat onto your head, fixing it so you looked presentable.

"She can't be because we're actually gonna try." He stated before beginning to explain to chat what the meal was since many of them might not have even heard of it before. As he did that, you began to set aside the ingredients you wouldn't be needing until later.

After everything had been explained, it was time to get cooking. His concentration to try and recreate his mom's recipe was adorable, and chat agreed on that too.

This stream wasn't loud and messy like the others, but it was still enjoyable in its own way. Quackity was radiating such wonderful light and energy, cracking jokes and genuinely enjoying himself. It was all thanks to the stress and worries being lifted off his back. You really enjoyed seeing him like this.

Chat was able to follow along later if they wanted with how organized you guys were being, but the banter he had with you and chat made it entertaining to any casual viewer. He always found a way to make it fun.

Not only that, but chat was able to see a new side of him. The Chef Q side. More often than not, a message would roll in saying they were amazed by how good Quackity actually was at cooking. You could already imagine some of the edits that'd come out of the stream.

His mom had told you two beforehand how long it would normally take to cook this meal, and it was perfect for a usual stream and some extras where you two would actually get to try the food.

There was moments where chat was warning you two that the food would burn or that he'd accidentally set the kitchen on fire, but overall you were enjoying yourself so much.

And chat was enjoying your presence too!

By the time you two managed to finish the meal, you both plopped down onto the chairs he'd set for the supposed 'breaks'.

He had some of the sauce on his cheek and his apron, but still managed to look good. He'd also smeared sauce onto your cheek, and at this point some strands were sticking out of your hat in such a messy way since the last few minutes had been rather hectic, food almost burning and all.

"Chat. We did it." He called out before cheering loudly and clapping his hands, to which you swiftly followed along, chat beginning to cheer as well.

"I think its only right that we try what we made, don't you think?" You ask, to which chat quickly types YES in all caps, wanting to see the finished product and also find out if it even tastes good.

Quackity let out a chuckle as he smiled over at you. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. We haven't even seen it so it might just be black. Burnt to a crisp. Or what if it tastes like shit? Y/N i don't know what I'm going to do if the food tastes like shit. Thats what we're supposed to eat on our date." He whined a bit.

You shook your head, "It'll be great. And if not, we can just order takeout. It'll be fine big q." You smiled reassuringly. Chat became a frenzy of calling him cute for the state he was in, declaring their love for how supportive and kind you were, and melting over your relationship.

Before you knew it, you were both revealing the meal to chat, and pleasantly surprised by the results. The presentation of the meal itself looked really good. It looked like what you'd expect from such a plate. Quackity had even gone as far as saying it looked similar to how his mom made it.

You gasped, smiling in surprise at him. "Really? Did we really do that good of a job." His face turned into one of regret, and a long segment of silence engulfed you two before he nodded hesitantly. You both broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Okay okay, seriously. Chat's waiting for you to try it." You placed a fork in front of him, earning a loud scoff from him.

"They want to see you try it as well." He mirrored your actions and you gladly took the fork.

"Alright. First bite. Let's see if all our hard work paid off! Chat, are you ready?" You grinned and watched as the 'YES's started rolling in, some viewers telling you both to get the fuck on with it, and others gushing about how the food actually looked good. You could only hope.

You watched as he began to dig in, mouth full and chewing slowly, truly trying to savor the first bite. You did the same, and the stream was silent for the first time in a while. Chat was in suspense as well, question marks and incoherent rambling rolling through the chat.

"Chat..." he finally spoke after swallowing his bite. "Chat. It's." He paused before showing a small smile. "It's not bad at all. I like it. It's good."

You nodded your head in agreement, "It's nowhere near as good as the ones your mom makes.. but I think you and I make a pretty good team."

"I think so too. And not just for cooking." He grinned, earning himself a playful eye roll and shy smile from you.

The stream proceeded to you two feeding each other bites of the meal, asking each other if it was good, and just enjoying yourselves for a bit longer before Quackity deemed it was time to end.

"Chat !! Thank you so much for tuning in and watching this.. actually coordinated cooking stream. I had so much fun and well, I ate yummy food. I'm happy." He laughed, thanking a few more gifters before doing his signature Bye, and ending stream.

He hurried over to your side, pulling you into a hug. "Thank you so much. I truly had fun. And they definitely loved you, but not nearly as much as I do."

You chuckled at his words, giving him a small kiss before cupping his face. "I had a lot of fun too. Thank you for always being so nice to me." You paused, observing how cute he looked with his chef hat still on. "I think I like Chef Alex." You reached over and fixed his hat a bit.

"Yeah? Should I keep it on?" He teased, coming a bit closer. You couldn't help the warmth that spread over your cheeks at how blunt he was.

"Yes, but you need to help me clean this up. Maybe after we finish the food, hm? C'mon. Don't think I forgot our deal."

He whined, already feeling too lazy, but he quickly followed after you as you two sat down to actually eat. Still wearing the silly attire he'd bought for the stream, far too unbothered to change just yet.

Through a mouthful he asked, "Cuddles and a nap after we're done?"

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave a silent cheer. That was enough motivation to get you both up and cleaning after finishing the meal.

—

Wrapped in each other's arms again. He couldn't seem to get enough of it. You were once again scrolling through Twitter, this time scrolling through his indirects, wanting to see what people were saying about the stream.

He'd ask you to stop to read certain ones he found funny, and even 'aww'd at the ones he found cute, mainly those talking about how cute you two looked.

Surely enough, there was already edits using the clips of him cooking, and you'd openly admitted to him that he looked "so fucking good." To which he responded by cuddling closer, if even humanly possible.

Quackity found the numerous clips of you two feeding each other to be the best part of the tweets. You two rewatched, saved, liked as many as you could before he became tired.

And with that, he was pulling you close, and leaving small kisses anywhere he could on your face. Eventually, his chest slowly rose and fell as he entered a deep slumber. You smiled, glad to see he was finally getting the rest he deserved.

"Goodnight, Alex." You whispered, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before closing your eyes as well.

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[thatonend]

💗 i would like to know more about you fren

:DD awesome!! I'm just gonna say a few facts that I've probably said a million times and I'll say them again-

I have adhd

I'm 14

snakes are the best pet, even tho I've never had one

cats are better than dogs

I am an undiagnosed insomniac

same with adhd and my mild depression and social anxiety

I do art that turns out really bad, especially humans

I write fanfics but then I lose motivation and totally forget about them

plus they're shit anyway

I roleplay Sanders Sides, mainly, but I'm up for some Supernatural too

the best show in existence is Supernatural, Sherlock coming in a close second

Sanders Sides is amazing

I really wanna roleplay a Sanders Sides au with Supernatural like two of the sides are brothers and ya get it

I'm asexual, possibly just graysexual

I'm Polyamorous

I'm polyromantic

I have one partner, Grey

I live with my three brothers who are 9, 17, and 21

I have no sisters

I'm agender and use they/them pronouns

I live with both parents

I tend to stay in my room most of the day, only coming out when I'm forced to or for meals

I go to sleep any time from 9pm-6am and sleep until 7am-12pm

but it's going to end up being 10am bc my parents won't let me sleep in later anymore

I will not drink hot coffee or tea, only iced

I despise Brussels sprouts

I call myself and my bf gay constantly

I make gay jokes

I'm not supposed to date until highschool but I said fuck that I'm getting a jf in 8th grade and a bf a few months later

I live in the USA

I live in the Midwest where I end up saying "ope" alot

I don't have an accent from my state

not a sports fan, regardless of pretty much everyone else liking the Vikings

I've driven down to California for vacation last summer, it took 10 days to go there and back as we went camping too and saw Mt Rushmore

I'm 90% sure my little brother is going to be gay

I have dyed my hair purple and want to dye it green or red next time

I have an undercut

my bangs are basically a mohawk

I have glasses

I read fanfiction for a living

I don't have a job nor money

I want to make art and sell it but I can't do art

I like to paint alot, usually just pride flags

I make custom wallpapers for people and I'm making pride wallpapers for pride month (I'll be posting them eventually)

I say "that's gay" with everything

I am afab

I used to use the name Jay but I've decided I like Killian better

Killian can be shortened to K, Kill, Killi, or anything you can think of

my bfs bf calls me Jay KKK bc he once when "Jay-kil-kill-killian-" so yeah

I'm closeted about my agender to my family because I have transphobic siblings

I've told my parents I'm lesbian and turns out that was a lie

I have 2 straight friends and that's it

my favorite color is blueish green

I am allergic to cats, yet I have one

I will read any Sanders sides, Sherlock, or Supernatural fanfic you throw at me. Harry Potter too

I'm willing to make friends of all types

I overshare online yet hide everything irl

I love getting asks as I usually don't get them very often except last night I was bombarded with asks and I was so confused bc y'all actually wanted to ask me things

I may do fanfic requests if y'all want

if you do the 👽 emoji in an ask I will let you know what you remind me of whenever, doesn't matter how far down my dash it is I will do it

I'll cheer you up in any way I can

I put others above myself, it's an issue

I get confused when people say they talk about me or think about me or even like me

like people actually mention me?? they care about me?? what is this??

especially when it's people I've never even met irl

I live about an hour away from current events happening in uh Minneapolis

I prefer winter when it's 30°F and I'm able to go outside with shorts and a t-shirt and not be dying from the heat

I go to Public school

going into freshman year this year

online learning is how I procrastinated everything until the last day when I somehow ended up with only one missing assignment

I took Spanish this year and I hated it so I'm doing ASL next year

I play flute and sing pretty much any part in choir, tenor through soprano but usually I'm alto

Aladdin is the best Disney movie

when I'm sad or empty I listen to mcr or Virgil's playlist

I hate spiders unless they're tarantulas or anything not inside my house

my room is in the basement

I usually only go on tumblr when I check notifs and then end up scrolling my dash for hours bc I totally forgot I was doing something else

I am on almost every single social media you can think of

I have multiple OCs, feel free to ask about them

Kayla, she/her, trans

Sil, ne/nem/nir, trans non-binary

Esma, she/they, demigirl

Veronica, she/he, bigender

Jupi, it/its, agender

I'll probably make more too

look at photo below bc I'm pinning this instead of that post-

I'll probably end up adding more since I'm going to pin this bc idk I feel like y'all want to know about me if you don't I'm sorry but too bad

below is another photo for rp details, yes it's a different theme dwi [[not doing any roleplays rn I'll link the post in a minute below]]

300 dtiys below

more details, mainly bc i get sad :( ↓↓

[d-l-landcaslil]

My opinion on why is Endeavor’s redemption arc valid

I’ve been thinking about writing something like this for a while, but somehow I never did. But now I’m just going to ramble to cope with the anxiety the latest chapter gave me hhhh

So a lot of Endeavor stans get the question, why don’t we hate him, and I think this is a valid question (as long as you don’t attack us immediately and assume that we support all the wrong thing he’s done!). And I’m not here to convince anyone to like Endeavor. You can hate him, he deserved it. Just please don’t wish for his death in the current arc of the manga because if that happens everyone is fucked you don’t want that and also it hurts This for those who actually ask this question because they’re interested in the answer.

So here’s the thing. First of all I think he’s an amazing hero. Let’s not forget that he has the most solved cases ever, which means even more than All Might! He saved thousands of people. And his skills are just hella amazing, he is competent in almost all types of combat, and while AM gains his physical strength from his quirk, Enji’s quirk itself doesn’t provide it, it probably took him a lot of heavy training to get there. Sidenote for this he is hot af and can step on me any day and I’ll thank him.   Of course his heroic actions are no excuse for the abuse he did, but in my opinion the abuse he did does not diminish his merits as hero either. I admit this is arguable, but these are my views even on irl people of similar kind. 

So yes, I admit, as a person, he is extremely problematic, he abused his family, and it’s not something to be overlooked. But also his character is amazingly written. I think his backstory is one of those elements in the story, that tries to bring attention to the problems with the hero society. And boi, there’s a lot to unpack there. Firstly, what he represents is sadly common in real life too: that people (especially men) serving at the police, in the army, etc are abusing their power this way and getting away with it because of their rank. But not only this. This leads to even more complex problems within the entire hero community. And this is the rivalry between heroes and the toxic masculinity in the hero community. Now I’m not the one to quickly agree with Stain, because I’m fed up with the cliché of heroes having to be fully selfless (it’s their job and they need to eat and pay rent bruh) and that the whole system is corrupt BUT the fact that the hero ranking exists and forces the heroes to compete with each other is so wrong on so many levels. And of course there are certain heroes who can actually let this go and only focus on the job itself (e.g. Hawks), but there is a lot of pressure on everyone and not all of them can escape it. Don’t tell me it’s normal that Kiri had an inferiority complex for years bc he was too scared to attack a villain three times his size in 4th grade of middle school

And I think a lot depends on the family background. Notice, how the students/heroes who are not coming from a hero family or a family that expected the to become heroes (Deku, Uraraka, etc.) are way more chill about the whole thing, because they parents are proud of them af whatever little heroic thing they do. When it comes to Enji, we don’t know anything about his parents/family background but I have a really strong feeling that he was pressured into the marriage with Rei and into always being the best. Here’s why. We know that Fuyumi is 23 and there’s ~three years between the kids (bc that’s when the quirks appear) so Toya is probably 26. Enji is 46, so he was 20 when they had Toya. So he got married even before he became 20. Now don’t tell me a 19-20 yo young man, who has just graduated from UA (probably with flying colors) and already aims to be nr1 would decide to get married and have kids - even if he’s madly in love, nevermind out of convenience. (And even if he was in love with Rei /but he wasn’t/ and wanted to marry her, any descent parents would have stopped him.) Yes, he probably agreed, because he felt like that preserving and passing down his quirk is important, and that he himself is not enough to be the best and he needs a descendant who can do the job for the family reputation if he fails. Of course it’s all just assumption but DON’T TELL ME THAT THIS ALL WOULD HAVE HAPPENED if he just had A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY TO TELL HIM THAT HE IS A GREAT HERO AS HE IS AND HE DOESN’T NEED TO COMPARE HIMSELF TO OTHERS. NO, THEY DIDN’T TELL HIM THAT. Instead they used their money and power to arrange a quirk-marriage and set him up to be a husband and father while still struggling to become nr1. Now add this to Enji’s inherently grumpy, quick, aggressive temper, take away from him the chance to properly socialize with ppl of his age - and you get the textbook abusive man who brought the bad patterns from the family, added his own frustration and took it all out on his family he never really wanted. He might be an inherently bad tempered person. But no-one is born the way he is now. He could have unlearned a lot of it if the expectations of the hero society hadn’t fucked him up at a young age.

But he did what he did and there’s no excuse for that so let’s see why his redemption is still valid in my opinion. Also it’s more explicit manga spoilers from here (basically he talks about his future plans for his fam in the manga and I’m going to talk about it in detail). 

So what many abusers would probably do is to start acting kindly and try to win back their partner/family by promising to change again and again. But Endeavor doesn’t do that. Not only is he willing to stay away from them, but it’s him who stays in their old house and he’s planning to build a whole new house where the kids and Rei, who he wants to get out of the hospital he put her into (!) can live. without him. I had someone who told me they think he wants to be reunited later and he just gives them time but there’s no proof of this and it’s still not that bad. So yes, he admits that him staying away from them is the solution AND he uses his money and power to fix the situation as much as he can. Of course there are a lot of things he can never fix and my stomach still clutches when I watch his past in se2 but HE HAS LEARNED THE LESSON, HE ADMITTED HE FUCKED UP AND HE’S WORKING TO FIX IT AS MUCH AS HE CAN. And I can’t help to cheer for him to able to do that, because that’s the only outcome that’s good for everyone. 

Besides that, the scene where he tells Shoto he will do everything to make him proud and be the hero he can look up to always makes me cry  shows how he admits his mistakes too. He takes the things he said to Shoto, the expectations he raised towards him and admits that he himself haven’t fulfilled those expectations, so he needs to do that in order for Shoto to accept him. So he basically reversed the roles, he reversed the order of power, and he applies what he abused Shoto with to himself, but this time in a non-toxic way. Also, in the Endeavor agency arc we already see how he has a different attitude towards Shoto as his student. One more thing: you can see in that scene and also several times in the manga how he feels like shit when the kids are ignoring or confronting him. And even I think he deserves all of it, BUT this again proves THAT HE. HAS. LEARNED. HIS. LESSON. Yes, he was extremely abusive. No, it cannot be forgiven. But he basically admitted that he was one, got out of the life of those who were affected, tries to change and supports them from the distance. That’s the best he can still to in this fucked up situation. 

And as I witnessed his journey so far, I couldn’t help to start liking him. I cheer for him, I hope he can really change, I’m always excited to see him in action, and I’m really worried about him in the current situation. I think there’s way more potential in him than it was shown in the beginning. I hated him first too. But somehow he became my favorite pro hero and one of my favorite characters overall. 

This is the answer. If you read all this rambling you deserve a medal. 

A closing thought: I think it’s understandable that everyone reacts to Endeavor differently. He is the type of character who divides even the canon characters nevermind the fandom. It’s really interesting to see how all his kids react to him differently, and how they basically represent types of the ppl’s attitudes in the fandom. I realized I’m the Fuyumi type. But of course all are valid. But Dabi types please please let us mourn in peace if the thing happens QwQ 

[good-things-do-happen-dean]

don't rb, i will block. long personal school shit under the cut that i just had to put somewhere.

it's like. i've always wanted to teach. in elementary school, i wanted to teach elementary. in middle school, i wanted to teach middle grades. in high school, i picked math and i wanted to teach high school. in undergrad, i said hell no i would never teach this age group, so i stuck with high school. then i worked a summer camp and absolutely loved the middle schoolers there, so i was like hmm actually this i think. and now i'm in this grad program and i'm sure this is like. pandemic and eleven solid months of covid/election/school/general anxiety, but like? do i actually want to do this? i can't even focus on my own classes. how am i supposed to teach children? i sit down to do homework and i just fucking stare at the screen. and like. i've always been a straight a student. ended up with like two bs in undergrad, but i still was an excellent student and i cared about school so much that i wanted to spend the rest of my life there. and my advisor said i could take the semester off after last semester when i ended up taking two incompletes, but i said no, you know, i want to keep my job with the department and i can't do that if i'm not taking classes. and i only needed one to keep my job, but i had to have two to keep my loan which is forgiveable if i work teach in state for a certain amount of time. so i'm taking two classes, but it's like i'm taking four since i have the two leftover from last semesster, but actually it's like i'm taking zero since i haven't turned anything in in three weeks. i'm just behind and behind and behind and i like. can't drop now, but there's also no way i can catch up. and i think i have adhd or bipolar 2 or both but i still have to see a psychiatrist and talk about meds/more therapy which is in itself exhausting. and i can't tell my mom but i can tell a thousand strangers on the internet. i just don't know what to Do. it's overwhelming to like. look at the list of things i haven't done yet. and it's overwhelming to not do the things. and i know i'm on here way too much, but also like. none of my irl friends talk to me any more. for? no discernible reason. none of the people in my cohort even like fucking messaged me to ask why i'm not doing my student teaching with them right now. and ik that's not their responsibility and i could also have reached out to them, but i Thougt we were friends, especially the ones who were my coworkers. so i like imprinted on my internet friends (whom i love dearly, it's not that) and i'm trying to like retroactively have enough social interaction to fulfill the last year. but it's like we couldn't see each other even if we did live in the same place because the us can't get its fucking act together re covid. so i just sit here in my apartment and pet my cats and scroll tumblr and Don't Do Anything which i hate but it's like? i Can't do it and i don't know what to do. not seeking advice really, just dumping and it wouldn't fit in the tags.

[sortavibing]

i just found your blog and it’s so pretty!! i hope you’re having a nice day,,, could i get a male hq matchup pls?? i go by rita and she/her pronouns. i’m questioning atm. i’m an intj-t & a libra sun, aquarius moon, leo rising, & i kin tsukishima & kageyama.

i’m reserved, thoughtful, hot headed, creative, judgmental, polite, open-minded, & cunning. when you first meet me, i am polite and tend not to talk a lot. once you get to know me i’m v chill and i like to joke around and get to know more about you. i can also be kinda dumb sometimes. i do tend to get angry and annoyed towards everyone but i don’t show it. i just kinda shut myself down and try to talk myself into letting go. i like doing things a certain way and to my standards. i care a lot about my grades and getting into a good university but i do tend to procrastinate and take breaks,,, i end up getting my work done on time. i am self conscious and care a lot about what others think about me,,, i am self critical and tend to beat myself up. i tend to get impatient easily and bc of that i like to get things done quickly. i like relaxing and spending time by myself. i don’t really like interacting with ppl,, i only have one irl friend & a few online friends. i do have anxiety & tend to overthink things a lot & have a hard time trusting ppl.

i’m 5’6 with a pear shaped body & a tummy. i have a round/oval face & glasses. thick brows, brown eyes, brown wavy hair. my hair is grown out rn bc of covid but i plan on getting it cut back into bangs & collar bone length. i’m latino so i get darker when i’m in the sun but i’m v pale atm </3. i wear a lot of black clothes and high waisted pants. i’d describe my style as 70s/80s mixed with dark academia. i always want to look presentable in public but i just wear comfy clothes when i’m at home.

my hobbies include writing, playing the sims, & baking. i also enjoy watching anime, reading on here, looking at tiktok, & playing uno or guess who. i have a dog & a hamster. i start cleaning when i feel uncomfortable or anxious ig. when i get bored i like to plan things. my likes/interests include true crime, history, & psychology. i also watch reality tv for entertainment 😩. one of my favorites shows is daria & i listen to a lot of different music,,, i just like what sounds nice. i have so many dislikes,,, but my main dislikes are ppl who are discriminatory & don’t try to educate themselves on issues. (basically trump supporters & my family members who believe facebook </3) i also dislike ppl who complain a lot but don’t help themselves and then continue to complain like pls?? it’s not my responsibility to fix these problems you can easily fix yourself?? & ppl who aren’t considerate of others.

i want a partner who is kind, loyal, & open-minded. i can’t stand ignorant ppl who only care about themselves. i want someone who loves me & accepts me. my love language is quality time & gift giving (both ways). someone who is willing to split the work & deal with my moods and hear me out. mmm i think that’s about it! <3

hello! thank you for reqesting! ok but reality tv is so fucking funny i don’t understand- like it’s such stupid comedy but i love it. anyways, here’s your matchup!

generating matchup...

matchup: complete

i match you up with kita!

what first drew kita to you was your calm personality, since he is pretty chill as well, and he wanted to meet someone who isn’t too loud like the miya twins. once he got to know you, he started seeing your joking personality, which he liked even more, because you were always able to make him smile and relax.

like you, he also has a habit of cleaning, so if you are feeling anxious, he will come over to help you clean things up, while listening to you rant about whatever comes to mind, while soft music plays in the background. he just wants to help you destress, and since he enjoys cleaning as well, it makes it a lot easier to help you feel better.

kita is smart as well, so you guys will always study and work on homework together, and he will always remind you not to procrastinate, and ever since you started working with him, you have been turning in your work earlier than usual, and school is even easier. kita makes sure to give you guys breaks though and brings snacks and drinks to have while studying, but he always gets you guys back on track after the break.

he really likes your pets (surprisingly), so if he ever comes to your house, he will always bring something small for your dog, and he will subconsciously pet him while talking to you. you have so many pictures of him with your dog, and all of them are so cute, so you have to save them all. 

one of kita’s love languages is quality time, so he just likes being around you, doing whatever you want because he thinks that anytime spent with you is time well spent. you guys often take a train or bus to a nearby city and spend the day just walking around with each other, eating at small bakeries, watching street performers, and buying little souvenirs. he holds your hand the entire time, and if he’s feeling especially romantic, he’ll surprise you with a small kiss on the cheek. your city dates are always fun, and you have many small presents that remind you of each trip.

since he knows you enjoy baking, kita will offer to try to make a cake for the birthday of someone that you are close to. you guys end up having a lot of fun, because kita doesn’t really know what he is doing, so he tries his best, but in the end, you have to help him a lot. the cake actually turns out pretty well, and he is pretty proud of making it look so good, and he’ll mention that he wants to bake with you more, and you have to agree because he looks so happy to be able to share an interest with you.

he will write you little notes saying how much he misses you, or how pretty you look today, and they usually are accompanied by a little gift. they always are so cute, and turn up in the most surprising places. you started leaving notes and small gifts for him too, and whenever he finds one of your notes, he will get really happy that his girlfriend wants to do these cute little things with him, and will keep everything you give him.

if you ever are uncomfortable because you have to socialize with a large group of people, kita will always be there to help you, whether it is giving an excuse for the both of you to leave, or by handing you one of his earbuds so you can listen to whatever music you want with him. he hates when you are feeling anxious, so he will do whatever he can to help you feel better, or at least be a little more relaxed in the situation.

when you first introduced kita to true crime, he was kind of confused why you liked it so much, but he slowly started enjoying it, and now he loves to listen to podcasts about it or talk about it with you, because he finds the minds of these killers fascinating, and he always wants to learn more about it. he won’t listen to the podcasts alone, but he will write down the names of the episodes he wants to listen to with you, so he can hear your real-time opinion on the person, and he can put his opinion in too.

overall, you guys are very calm and collected, and people envy just how well you guys are able to understand each other. kita will never even think about leaving you, and he is always open to try what you want to do, because he just wants to make you happy, and enjoy every moment that you spend with him.

i hope you enjoyed!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.

[laceymorganwrites]

Here is 2nd prompt: 1 to 9, 11 to 14, 16, 17, 21 to 24, 28 to 37, 39, 43 to 45, 52, 55, 56(let me guess MGK?), 64, 67, 69, 70, 72, 73, 75 to 81, 83 to 87, 90 to 92, 94, 98, 106 to 123, 125 to 127, 134, 138, 139, 143 to 151, 154 and 155 (cut it in two/three part we gonna have an headache if not) -Sarah

I´m gonna put a cut here lol this is gonna be a long post 

1. Full name

I´m uncomfortable answering that one. My first irl name is Hope though

2. Age

18

3. 3 fears

spiders, lonliness, death

4. 3 things I love

my friends, my cats, writing

5. 4 turn ons

subs, lip biting, intense eye contant, praise

6. 4 turn offs

degrading, forcing control, belittling me, just being disgusting

7. my best friend

met him in tenth grade, best thing that ever happened to me. platonic soulmate, always there for me. Love him with all my heart

8. sexual orientation

lesbian, on the aro spectrum

9. my best first date

never had any

11. What do I miss?

Being able to get a good night´s sleep

12. What time were I born?

Around 4am

13. favorite color?

since black doesn´t count yellow, dark red, dark purple

14. Do I have a crush?

on irls no. On fictional men yes

16. favorite place?

Dublin (especially the pubs)

17. favorite food?

french toast, homemade burgers, pizza

21. Shoe size

38 in Germany (idk the size system of other countries)

22. Eye color

Dark blue, with a bit of green in the middle. My eyes look like the ocean, so when I say dark blue, I mean really dark.

23. hair color

Natural dirty blonde, but currently washed out dyed purple

24. favorite style of clothing?

grunge with elements of punk

28. favorite movie?

Lord of the rings

29. favorite song?

I can´t choose just one, but the one that really means a lot to me is You´ll Be Fine by Palaye Royale

30. Favorite band?

Used to be Creeper, but is currently Palaye Royale

31. How I feel right now?

Tired and in pain (just started my period)

32. Someone I love

My best friend

33. my current relationship status

single irl, but dating lesbian anon on here

34. my relationship with my parents

good I guess, though we don´t do a lot together

35. favorite holiday

Halloween and Pride

36. Tattoos and piercings I have

none

37. Tattoos and piercings I want

none since I have a low pain tolerance (it´s rlly nonexistent)

39. Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Well, I´m over it but he´s petty and spreading rumors about me so....

43. How long does it take for me to get ready in the morning?

An hour. I take a long time to fully wake up, so I do things very slow. 

44. have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope. I don´t shave, my mom thinks it´s disgusting but I don´t care. My body, my rules

45. Where am I right now?

In my bed, as always

52. when was the last time I hugged someone?

A few days ago

55. what is something I disliked about today?

starting my period

56. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nikki Sixx.

64. Do I believe in magic?

Not really, but I´m open to anything

67. What was the last book you´ve read?

I´m currently reading ´The Dirt´

69. Do I have any nicknames?

Lace, Ace, Hopi

70. what was the worst injury I ever had?

my self inflicted one  I guess

72. can I touch my nose with a tongue?

sadly no

73. Is there anything pink 10 feets from me?

yup, my pillow

75. what was I doing last night at 12 AM?

listening to Yagami Yato´s audios

76. What do I think Satan´s last name is?

Mine since I´ll marry her when I arrive in hell

77. What´s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Na Na Na by MCR

78. How can you win my heart?

Make me laugh

79. What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Fucking finally

80. What is my favorite word?

Cunt

81. my top 5 blogs on tumblr

@varia-venus @one-piece-dumpster-fire @miyaniacs @aomineavenue @hoe-imaginess

83. Do I have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know

84. I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

85. What would be a question I´d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Why are you like this?

86. What is my current desktop picture?

It´s an edited Madara one my friend made me

87. had sex?

Voluntarily no

90. failed a class?

Luckily no

91. kissed a boy?

yup, 2 times and both times it was disgusting af

92. kissed a girl?

no, but she kissed me and that was when I realized I was gay. She broke my heart too.

94. Had a job?

no, but hopefully soon

98. played on a sports team?

no, I can´t play sports

106. been to a wedding?

only when I was little, so I don´t remember anything

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

that´s nothing to me. I spend my whole day on here. That´s why I spam with those prompt thingies, cause I get bored and am always active

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

I´m a fucking hermit, of course I have

109. been outside my home country?

yes, mutliple times

110. gotten my heart broken?

yup and it hurt like a bitch

111. been to a professional sports game?

Me and my class went to a pro ice hockey game and it was amazing

112. broken a bone?

not yet fortunately

113. cut myself?

yup and not proud of it

114. been to prom?

no, got cancelled because of COVID

115. been in an airplane?

yes, but I´m afraid of flying and heights

116. fly by helicopter?

no

117. what concerts have I been to?

Katy Perry, Halestorm (2 times), The Pretty Reckless, All Time Low, Halsey, Waterparks, Palaye Royale, Kyle Gass Band, Hey Violet, David Guetta, Bring me the horizon, Macklemore (2 times), Rihanna, Panic! At the disco, Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots (2 times), Amy Shark, Hayley Kiyoko

118. had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119. learned another language?

yup. But I failed and can´t speak any of it. The only foreign language that stuck with me is English

120. wore make up?

yeah, a lot actually. I like experimenting with make up

121. lost my virginity before I was 18?

Not voluntarily

122. Had oral sex?

Not voluntarily

123. Dyed my hair?

A lot

125. Rode in am ambulance?

no

126. had a surgery?

only a minor one

127. met someone famous?

I met a German youtuber at the Halsey concert and I got VIP tickets for Palaye Royale, so I met all of them

134. What do I want for my birthday?

I don´t know. Probably some cosplay supplies

138. what was my favorite toy as a child?

I was a Playmobil kid

139. Favorite TV show?

Can´t choose. Will go with Haikyuu for now

143. Favorite pizza topping?

Ham and mushrooms

144. Am I afraid of the dark?

yes

145. Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146. Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, but I never done any of that

147. Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the time cause I keep comparing myself to others

148. what I´m really bad at

social interaction

149. what my greatest achievements are

graduating and making it into uni

150. the meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

can´t really remember to be honest. People have always been talking behind my back rather than saying it to my face

151. what I´d do if I won in a lottery?

move to Ireland, buy a house, give the rest to charity

154. something I fantasize about

anime men

[juiceboxboyy]

7! 27! 32!!!

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

the community!! there’s something so safe about being surrounded by trans people, both with my irl trans friends and all the people I’ve met online. I don’t have to hide or censor this big part of myself like I have to when talking to cis people who don’t know I’m trans (or don’t want them to know) I feel very comfortable around people like me!! The community is very supportive and understanding in my experience :] plus it’s so much easier for me to make friends with trans people because I feel so safe. If you’re visibly trans/gnc know that I love you and seeing you would put me at ease immediately. Even if it’s just a little trans pin or something lol. Seriously, it’s such an indescribable feeling, the genuine safety I feel when I’m with trans folk. I’m sure other trans ppl know what I’m talking about! I hope when I go to college I get the chance to make more irl trans friends and connect with the community more!! <3

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

Something specific I do for myself is type, write, or say my name out loud, full name or just my first names. It gives me the good gender euphoria :] like my name is Mason! My name is Gordon! Those are my names!! yeah they’re kinda awesome heh I picked them myself B) and there’s nothing that makes me more giddy than hearing my friends call me Mason or Gordon and using my pronouns :’)) that’s why I think it’s so important to seek out trans ppl online or irl and make friends, bc that experience of someone calling you by your name or pronouns and just accepting you, no questions or scorn about it, it’s so so validating

And this is more in general, but when I was younger and going through my Gender Confusion Era, one thing they always got me down was comparing myself to my cis peers and wishing I looked more like them, that I didn’t have to go through all these extra steps to get to a better place, on top of facing the potential hate and confusion of strangers or even my own family; it’s a very scary revelation that lots of young trans kids have to grapple with, usually alone (again, finding trans folk to talk to/help you during this period can be life-saving!! I’m lucky that I managed to find the only other trans kids in my grade essentially, and through an anime club of all things lol but anyways back to the actual question!) So something important that I realized in that time is that nonbinary people can literally look like anyone, there’s no “standard” or neat box to fit into or have expected of you. No matter what stage of life I’m in, I will always be nonbinary. Really leaning into that, embracing my gender-nonconformity, is what’s keeps me going most days and makes me feel happy!

32. How do you see yourself identifying or presenting in 5 years?

Okay, right now I’d say I’m a gnc trans nonbinary gay man (what a mouthful lmao) and I don’t really see that changing soon. Maybe some of the nuisances with my gender but not anything big, I’m very comfortable where I am with my identity :] In terms of presentation? umm I mean a good start would be starting T :p I do want to present more masculine since I’m so feminine rn I want to balance it out, especially my voice T-T and my hair is short rn which I love but in the future I’m open to growing my hair out again in an unmistakeably trans way and maybe growing facial hair if that’s even a possibility for me i won’t know until I start T tho. but the dream is for ppl to look at me and not know what the hell I am. I wish I spark confusion in people :) oh! and I want to get into the punk (gender) scene and explore that style more bcuz it looks so good and the ideology/community surrounding it is cool. I want my wardrobe to reflect myself more accurately in general since I’ve being censoring my actual style and interests bcuz my parents are so weird about how me and my siblings dress... more dresses more skirts more punk more black more colors more fun!!!!! I don’t really have a specific style I like lots of stuff and want to combine it all together for a sick combo bonus 👍

[danni-chuu]

The 7 brothers as humans going to a Regular school

So Me and my friend ( @heeminchan ) got bored and made some hcs about the demon brothers in a regular school ( slice of life style ). This is my first time posting hcs so ye, lets go! :

Lucifer

Luci being Diavolo's Lap Dog™ he would of course be the Student Body Vice President. Strict and abides by the School rules no matter what . He's also known for being the student role model, perfect in almost every way that even teachers wanna be him. Though, he often is quite cold to others because he is a very work-centered person.

Popular with the girls of the school because of mature air and handsome features. Though, the troublemakers make him their archenemy ( probably mammon ) because he always seems to rat them out before they even do it, and if they do get away with it..not for long thats for sure.

Rumors are just rumors, but there has been rumors of lucifer and diavolo having a relationship beyond friends which he rejects completely. ( But you're never too sure eh? )

His relationship with his brothers can be summed up with one word, " Dad ". Luci being the eldest holds alot of responsibility for his siblings, so he often acts like a father to them. Besides his brothers, he has a close relationship with Diavolo, who he has alot of respect for.

Luci can often be found roaming the halls to make sure no one gets in trouble or to make sure that there aren't any students skipping class. During breaks, he can be found doing school work or having tea with diavolo.

Mammon

If you're going to ask his brothers, mammon can he summed up with quite a few colorful words. For example : scum, con-artist, scammer, snitch, delinquent, etc. But despite what his brothers say, he is the Student Body Treasurer (buuutttttt only in title). Mammon is often out and about with his antics which leaves lucifer to do his work, which he does anyways. The only reason lucifer even lets him stay as the treasurer is because he wants to keep a close eye on him.

Many of the students have a mixed impression on mammon. Some people hate him because they got scammed by him or they lent him money and he never gave it back, while some are very entertained by him because he can be quite the class clown.

The rumors that circulate around mammon is that he is part of a gang or he owes a big sum of money to a gang. Another is that he sells pictures of his brothers to girls. ( And all rumors are very plausible , but mammon doesn't disclose any of them anyway).

Alot of his siblings actually tease him alot because....he isn't that bright but he goes along and counters them by saying he's street smart ( and they all shake their head in disappointment)

He can be found in the cafeteria either planning for his next money making adventure or hiding from lucifer.

Leviathan

Levi is a special case....in more ways than one. First of all, he's taking the online classes program of the school. Second, he's the Student body PRO ( Public Relations Officer, but the other pro hell yeah! He totally wants you to call him that ). Thanks to streaming and gaming, he has a big array of connections that he can hit up for a school event, the catch? He can only talk online, if its IRL he will literally malfunction, lag and glitch and crash.

Being the otaku that he is, he rarely goes outside so he isn't that well known in school. Buut that doesn't mean he isn't popular. In fact, he is very well known in the communities he participates in.

For rumors...there are actually a few rumors about levi, one of them is that he doesn't show his face to the school is because he's a deformed or something, while others say he isn't a real person. ( Of course those rumors are just for fun because alot of them have been debunked anyway)

He barely goes outside his room so he doesn't interact with his brothers that much...which means less problems for him! Score! Though...that doesn't mean he can avoid mammon. He pretty much thinks mammon should be kicked out of the family because he steals his stuff or doesn't return money he borrows. (Total jerk eh?)

No surprises here, you can find him in his room playing his games,streaming, watching anime. In the rarest of occasions, he can be spotted in anime or game conventions.

Satan

Students say that satan and lucifer are pretty similar, but if there's one thing that makes the two different its the fact that satan is more chill than lucifer. Being the Student body discipline officer, he is quite strict but he lets students with minor offences off the hook but only if lucifer isn't there.

He's popular with the female population of the school, because they see him as quite the gentleman. Except for one thing, his outburst are... terrifying so to say. Its either things flying around or shouting, so when students see him about to blow they just simply RUN. He's often compared to lucifer which he really gets infuriated with. There are even moments when students mistook his work as lucifers.

As for rumors there isn't much. More on seeing who is better, lucifer or him. It is a well known fact that he loves animals, so rumors started popping up that he has a room full of kittens in the school. ( Sure it will be a good idea but he cant take care of all the little things)

He has a pretty good relationship with all his brothers, except for lucifer. He always feels alot of inferiority towards lucifer, feeling like he's always overshadowed.

Satan can be found in the library reading a book or playing with the school cat.

Bonus: the school cat is actually a stray cat that satan found and took in, the cat often waits in the morning by the path satan takes to his class.

Asmodeus

The shining star of the school is of course the Student body grade level rep Asmo! There's no one better for the position than him and only him! He's a pot full of overflowing confidence and beauty ( and narcissism ). I mean there's no one else like him in the world❤️❤️

He's very very popular with the girls of the school ( and boys~? ), His flirty and charming attitude just makes him an absolute Chic magnet! He values three things: his face, his reputation, and his image. Mess with one of those he will not hesitate to give you a bad time.

The rumors about asmo are pretty much who he sleeps with or who he's dating at the moment. One specific rumor was one involving his good friend solomon. The rumor goes that they are either fbs, dating, or just had a short fling. These rumors rarely bother asmo because more than half of them are true.

Asmo is again very flirty even to his brothers, he often teases them in a very playful manner. Though sometimes they get pretty uncomfortable, they're already used to it by now.

Students can see asmo often in the cafeteria with a group of girls or anywhere as long ad there's someone to flirt with. (Or in the restrooms having some fun but of course he wont tell you that ).

Beezlebub

While he is part of the student body, he doesn't really give it alot of thought. Why? He focuses alot on sports. Being an athlete, he is expected to eat healthy and keep lean. Well he can keep lean but he actually has a big appetite, alot bigger than what an athlete should have.

He has a good reputation with the athletes and same with the girls(( because that body doesn't disappoint)). Because of this reputation, alot of students actually give him snacks buuutt even those snacks aren't enough so he still ends up asking for more.

Rumors about beel centers around on how he is able to keep a good figure even if he eats like a cow, some people want to ask him how he does it but he always just says "i work out".

Beel has a good relationship with his brothers especially his twin Belphegor, the two are often seen together in the cafeteria or in the library napping. after school beel is seen at the school gym doing his regular training.

Belphegor

Belphie works his hardest to fufill his role as secretary of Cleanliness his work load includes walking around and checking the classrooms if their clean. Easy right? Well not for belphie, takes him every bone in his body to do it but atleast the jobs done...right?

Belphie isn't that much popular because he would rather lay low( less problems), but if there's one thing that belphie is known for...and that's his amazingly sharp tongue that can stab anyone who crosses him. On the bright side, he can be very cuddly and puppy like.

Rumors well there aren't much mostly all about students being surprised to find out that belphie and beel are twins, since they're very different .

He doesn't have much of an issue with his brothers,except Lucifer. He's pretty disappointed in lucifer since he changed so much after....ehem. but his relationship with his twin is the complete opposite. They're so close that they spend alot of their time together.

Belphie can be found anywhere and everywhere where you can sleep, but his favourite spot is the library since its quiet and cold. If not there then the roof because the fresh air and silence makes it the perfect place to snooze. All his classmates knows that he even sleeps in class.