#because it makes it feel like you don’t gaf about the story or the writing or the plot some people just care about the ending | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

janiedean · 3 years

Note

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

31 notes · View notes

delphinidin4 · 4 years

Text

“Abominable neglect and unkindness”: Fanny Price and Trauma

I have C-PTSD, and it’s really been on my mind as I’ve been rereading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen: her heroine of Fanny Price is so OBVIOUSLY traumatized that I started making notes upon notes upon notes in my kindle copy on her symptoms and their causes. A couple of my followers said they’d be interested to read my analysis if I wrote it up, and it doesn’t take much to encourage me to put a few thousand words on the page screen! So below is my (probably WAY too long) analysis of Fanny Price’s emotional trauma and complex PTSD (a form of PTSD often caused by long-term emotional abuse/neglect). It’s hella long. sorrynotsorry lol

*unleashes inner academic*

Part 1: How Fanny Price Was Traumatized

Trauma 1: She is taken from family and home.

Okay, imagine this: You’re ten years old. You grew up in a noisy, lower-middle-class family with multiple little siblings and both your parents. You are the oldest girl, and are important to all the members of your family because you act as “playfellow, instructress, and nurse” to your younger siblings. You are also “exceedingly timid and shy”. And suddenly you find out that your mother is SENDING YOU AWAY--far, far away--to aunts and uncle and cousins you’ve never met before, to be raised by THEM instead of your parents. Leaving everything else out of the equation for a second, that by itself would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. You would feel like your parents didn’t love you and didn’t want you. You weren’t important to them. You might wonder what you did wrong to be sent away. And THEN it turns out you’re NEVER COMING BACK. EVER. Fanny doesn’t see her family again until she is, I think nineteen years old. At first, she doesn’t even have the means to write to her brother William, which was to be her ONLY connection to her family: it seems her parents don’t write to her at all over the course of the novel.

All of this would be bad enough. But to come to a place that was entirely alien to everything you had known... I mean, think about it. This is Mansfield Park, an ENORMOUS house with MANY servants, a completely different way of doing things. There’s MONEY. Even the items around you are of a totally different quality than you’re used to: Austen says of Fanny’s initial impression of Mansfield, “The grandeur of the house astonished, but could not console her. The rooms were too large for her to move in with ease: whatever she touched she expected to injure, and she crept about in constant terror of something or other; often retreating towards her own chamber to cry.” The accent people speak with is probably different. The vocabulary is probably different. And everybody DEFINITELY thought she was under-educated (more about this in a bit) because she didn’t have the education of a gentleman’s daughter--because she ISN’T a gentleman’s daughter. It must have caused her intense culture shock.

Trauma 2: William’s absence

It’s clear that in her childhood in Portsmouth, William is the dearest member of Fanny’s family (see below for a discussion of her parents). When Fanny first arrives at Mansfield, Edmund discovers that,

dear as all these brothers and sisters generally were, there was one among them who ran more in her thoughts than the rest. It was William whom she talked of most, and wanted most to see. William, the eldest, a year older than herself, her constant companion and friend; her advocate with her mother (of whom he was the darling) in every distress. ‘William did not like she should come away; he had told her he should miss her very much indeed.’

Fanny’s one really warm and loving connection seems to be with William, and she is parted from him, first by her move to Mansfield, and then by his going to sea:

Once, and once only, in the course of many years, had she the happiness of being with William. Of the rest [of her Portsmouth family] she saw nothing: nobody seemed to think of her ever going amongst them again, even for a visit, nobody at home seemed to want her; but William determining, soon after her removal, to be a sailor, was invited to spend a week with his sister in Northamptonshire before he went to sea. Their eager affection in meeting, their exquisite delight in being together, their hours of happy mirth, and moments of serious conference, may be imagined; as well as ...the misery of the girl when he left her. Luckily the visit happened in the Christmas holidays, when she could directly look for comfort to her cousin Edmund.

Fanny continues a correspondence with William when he is at sea, but it’s clear that his long absence from her life is very difficult for her.

One final note on her being parted from her family for long intervals: I think we might actually see a sign of this trauma in an emotional flashback later in the book.

For those unfamiliar with complex PTSD, flashbacks don’t always mean that you have a sort of hallucination of a traumatic experience. In the case of complex PTSD and PTSD from early childhood trauma, flashbacks often occur in the form of “emotional flashbacks”: instead of re-experiencing the sensory input of the traumatic experience (seeing and hearing the experience all over again when triggered), emotional flashbacks consist ONLY of the emotional content of the trauma. They result in sudden rushes of negative emotions such as fear, shame, sorrow, despair, embarrassment, anger, etc. This may be partly because the trigger is acting on so many different traumatic memories at once (the brain can’t just pick out one to show to you) and partly because the traumatic memory being triggered is from so early in your childhood that you don’t have a direct memory of it anymore, just the trauma memory. Emotional flashbacks can be identified by comparing the emotional response to the stimulus: If the emotion is inappropriate for the situation or inappropriately intense, it may well be a flashback.

In this scene, Miss Crawford--whom Fanny does not care for at all--is taking her leave of Fanny: I find it to be illuminating.

And embracing her very affectionately, “Good, gentle Fanny! when I think of this being the last time of seeing you for I do not know how long, I feel it quite impossible to do anything but love you.”

Fanny was affected. She had not foreseen anything of this, and her feelings could seldom withstand the melancholy influence of the word “last.” She cried as if she had loved Miss Crawford more than she possibly could.

It sounds to me as if Fanny is having a negative reaction that is out of proportion for and inappropriate to the situation. Miss Crawford is leaving, and Fanny is GLAD that she is leaving. Nonetheless, she is involuntarily emotionally “affected” by Miss Crawford’s goodbye, and cries far more than is actually in keeping with her feelings. It seems like Fanny is triggered by the leave-taking and “the melancholy influence of the word ‘last’.” Fanny has had traumatic leave-takings from her family and her beloved William; and things like “This is the last time I’ll see you for who knows how long” must have been said to her before in intensely traumatic situations. So it’s no wonder she gets triggered by this situation’s similarity to those and has an out-sized emotional response. Separations from her family and from William were definitely traumatic to her and reminders of them now trigger trauma responses.

Trauma 3: Emotional neglect by parental figures

Fanny might not have been so badly traumatized by leaving her family and being separated from William if she had had emotional support from adult caregivers. Research has shown that if a child has even ONE adult to whom they can talk openly about their feelings, that can insulate them against the effects of trauma.

Fanny doesn’t have this. Both Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram are emotionally neglectful and distant.* Lady Bertram is pleasant, but is entirely self-centered and doesn’t really GAF about anybody or anything that doesn’t directly affect her. While she never abuses or hurts Fanny with unkindness, she also never comforts her, listens to her, or seems to do anything but get Fanny to fetch and carry for her and do half her sewing for her. There is a total lack of emotional connection between them until considerably later in the story.

[*Footnote: Miss Lee is surprisingly absent from the narrative and seems to be of no emotional support to Fanny whatsoever.]

Sir Thomas is worse. While he intends to take good care of Fanny--and to his credit, he does make sure she has her material needs met, is well educated, gets exercise, etc--he cannot be said to be NICE to her. Even when she first arrives, when he is trying his hardest to be kind, Austen says, “Sir Thomas, seeing how much she needed encouragement, tried to be all that was conciliating: but he had to work against a most untoward gravity of deportment.” He’s not good with kids, and he seems to be highly critical of Fanny, especially before his return from Antigua. Apparently he used to terrify her in childhood by catechizing her on her lessons in French in English, which implies he constantly found her wanting. His parting words to her on the beginning of his voyage to Antigua are downright scalding: “If William does come to Mansfield, I hope you may be able to convince him that the many years which have passed since you parted have not been spent on your side entirely without improvement; though, I fear, he must find his sister at sixteen in some respects too much like his sister at ten.”

JFC, Tommy-boy. Throttle back a little, can’t you?

He’s not popular even with his own daughters: Austen says of Maria and Julia, “Their father was no object of love to them; he had never seemed the friend of their pleasures, and his absence was unhappily most welcome. They were relieved by it from all restraint”. Sir Thomas comes across as a bit of a martinet, always finding fault and always saying no. At best, he doesn’t seem to be at all warm and encouraging, and appears to be almost entirely ignorant, not only of what Fanny’s character is like, but also about his own daughters’ characters.

There’s also the problem of his lack of understanding and compassion for Fanny. She describes him as “all that was clever and good,” but both his cleverness and goodness frequently seem to be lacking. He doesn’t understand Fanny’s feelings any more than he understands those of Maria, sending Edmund to sound Fanny out on the subject of Mr. Crawford because he CANNOT understand how a woman might not love a man that was clever, pleasant and rich. While he provided the money to raise Fanny, his disregard of her is clear when he sends her on a long visit to Portsmouth, where her health suffers. Even Crawford recognizes Sir Thomas’s likeliness to neglect her:

I know Mansfield, I know its way, I know its faults towards you. I know the danger of your being so far forgotten, as to have your comforts give way to the imaginary convenience of any single being in the family. I am aware that you may be left here week after week, if Sir Thomas cannot settle everything ... without involving the slightest alteration of the arrangements which he may have laid down for the next quarter of a year.

Sir Thomas, while priding himself (and being praised by others) as being so kind and clever, has low emotional intelligence and too little care for Fanny. Despite his occasional kindnesses, and her claim on his care as his direct dependent, she is not one of his priorities.

Of course, Fanny’s own parents would have had the strongest effects on her earliest years (especially considering the Prices didn’t seem to have a nanny or governess, so Mrs. Price would have been responsible for all her education, as well). It’s clear that Fanny’s mother didn’t show her much love in her early childhood: Mrs. Price is described as

“the ‘mama’ who had certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this [Fanny] could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancy. She had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share than any one among so many could deserve.”

We can see Fanny here doing what so many emotionally neglected children do, making excuses for their parents and assuming that the emotional neglect and abuse they suffer are somehow THEIR fault. Many emotionally abused or neglected children believe that they’re too loud, too needy, too much, and even ugly, blaming themselves for their parents’ rejecting and disgusted behavior toward them.

It’s proven, however, when Fanny goes home, that her parents are just as neglectful of her as she felt them to be formerly. Her father is “negligent of his family”, and her mother clearly does not really love her:

Mrs. Price was not unkind; but, instead of gaining on her affection and confidence, and becoming more and more dear, her daughter never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival. The instinct of nature was soon satisfied, and Mrs. Price’s attachment had no other source. Her heart and her time were already quite full; she had neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny. Her daughters never had been much to her.* She was fond of her sons, especially of William, but Betsey was the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded. To her she was most injudiciously indulgent. William was her pride; Betsey her darling; and John, Richard, Sam, Tom, and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal solicitude, alternately her worries and her comforts. These shared her heart: her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants.

[*Footnote: I have to stop here for a moment and mention poor Susan, whom I like better at every reading. With Mrs. Price only loving her sons and Betsy, with Mary dead and Fanny gone, Susan was for years THE ONLY completely unloved child in the house, which must have been pretty awful. It’s clear that Fanny and Susan have suffered rather similar fates in being raised without love, and Susan only responds more with irritation and Fanny more with tears: “Susan was only acting on the same truths, and pursuing the same system, which [Fanny’s] own judgment acknowledged, but which her more supine and yielding temper would have shrunk from asserting. Susan tried to be useful, where she could only have gone away and cried”. Please tell me somebody’s written a sequel about Susan?]

Again, while Mr. and Mrs. Price are not CRUEL, they’re not KIND, either. They are deeply emotionally neglectful toward Susan and Fanny, and Mrs. Price shows favoritism for the rest of her children, thus hurting her daughters further. Fanny’s probable surmise when she was sent away that she was not loved or wanted by her parents unfortunately appears to be very true. While an adult like Fanny can rationalize such behavior by her parents (even if it pains her), a child cannot do so, and the Prices’ lack of love for their own daughter must have been traumatizing and contributed to her belief that she can never matter to anybody (more on this in a bit).

Trauma 4: Lack of Companionship: Maria and Julia (and Miss Lee)

Fanny’s education when she arrives at Mansfield is not that of a gentlewoman--hardly surprising, given both her family’s socioeconomic position and her mother’s busy-ness with her family and general indolence. Maria and Julia’s education on scholarly subjects is clearly much stronger (they’re also 2-3 years older than her), and we know that their moral education was neglected, so that they only care about whether Fanny is rich and well-educated like themselves:

They could not but hold her cheap on finding that she had but two sashes, and had never learned French; and when they perceived her to be little struck with the duet they were so good as to play, they could do no more than make her a generous present of some of their least valued toys, and leave her to herself, while they adjourned to whatever might be the favourite holiday sport of the moment, making artificial flowers or wasting gold paper.

They’re generous enough to give her presents (though their least-valued belongings), but not generous enough to actually spend time with her, and it appears that this pattern holds throughout Fanny’s time at Mansfield.

At first, Mrs. Norris, Sir Thomas, and Miss Lee all think her actually stupid instead of just ill-educated: we are told that not only did Miss Lee “[wonder] at her ignorance,” but

A mean opinion of her abilities was not confined to [Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris]. Fanny could read, work [that means “sew”], and write, but she had been taught nothing more; and as her cousins found her ignorant of many things with which they had been long familiar, they thought her prodigiously stupid, and for the first two or three weeks were continually bringing some fresh report of it into the drawing-room.

You would think that the adults at least would realize that Fanny hadn’t had the opportunity of a gentlewoman’s education, but no, they attribute it to natural stupidity instead of opportunity:

“My dear,” their considerate aunt would reply, “it is very bad, but you must not expect everybody to be as forward and quick at learning as yourself.”

It is only Edmund who perceives that Fanny is not only NOT stupid, she’s actually clever:

He knew her to be clever, to have a quick apprehension as well as good sense, and a fondness for reading, which, properly directed, must be an education in itself. Miss Lee taught her French, and heard her read the daily portion of history; but he recommended the books which charmed her leisure hours, he encouraged her taste, and corrected her judgment: he made reading useful by talking to her of what she read, and heightened its attraction by judicious praise.

One wonders, if a sixteen-year-old boy hadn’t decided to undertake part of Fanny’s education himself, how much worse off would she have been?

That Fanny’s companionship fell almost entirely to a teenage boy six years her senior who spends most of the year away at boarding school/university, is a ringing indictment of the behavior of Maria and Julia, and of those who should have been encouraging them to make a friend of their cousin.

Trauma 5: Mrs Norris (who gets a fucking section all her own)

Here we are. We’ve finally come to it. The other four traumas would certainly have been sufficient to cause C-PTSD, but JFC, Mrs. Norris could have caused it all by her lonesome. While she comes across as amusing in Austen’s sardonic style, she is absolutely toxic for Fanny’s mental health.

Mrs. Norris seems to have had an out-sized effect on the three Mansfield girls. Generally, mothers were in charge of the education of their daughters (even if indirectly, through a governess), so while Sir Thomas did examine them on their lessons, it was really supposed to be Lady Bertram’s job to see to their practical and moral education. But Lady Bertram is an absolute zero, a completely passive character, and Austen says directly that, “To the education of her daughters Lady Bertram paid not the smallest attention.” So it seems like the much more active Mrs. Norris stepped in, and her influence was extremely strong with all three of them, despite her being married and having her own house and her own concerns for the first seven or so years of Fanny’s time at Mansfield.

We can see her influence with all three in the fact that all three of the Mansfield girls end up evaluating themselves in almost perfect accordance to how Mrs. Norris evaluated them. Maria, the golden child*, became very spoiled and proud and thought she could do almost whatever she wanted. Fanny, the scapegoat, came to believe that her only worth was in being “useful” (Mrs. Norris’s hobby-horse) and that she could never be of any importance to anybody. And Julia, while closer to Maria’s level of treatment than Fanny’s, also suffers from comparisons to the golden child:

That Julia escaped better than Maria was owing, in some measure, to a favourable difference of disposition and circumstance, but in a greater to her having been less the darling of that very aunt, less flattered and less spoilt. Her beauty and acquirements had held but a second place. She had been always used to think herself a little inferior to Maria.

[*footnote: Treating one child as the golden child and one as the scapegoat is a very common tactic of abusive caregivers. The scapegoat becomes entirely worn down in self-esteem so that she is powerless to fight back against the abuse. The golden child and other children see how the scapegoat is treated and try hard not to rock the boat because they don’t want to end up like that.]

Mrs. Norris teaches Fanny from the beginning to judge and reject her own natural emotions. On her first traumatic separation from her family, Mrs. Norris lectures her incessantly on how she ought to be HAPPY, not sad:

Mrs. Norris had been talking to her the whole way from Northampton of her wonderful good fortune, and the extraordinary degree of gratitude and good behaviour which it ought to produce, and her consciousness of misery was therefore increased by the idea of its being a wicked thing for her not to be happy.

Fanny is taught to regard her own natural feelings as “wicked”, especially when they are a negative reaction to how the Bertram/Norris family treats her. While she can see some of her own feelings as just--when they have been sanctioned by Edmund’s judgment--any feeling that tends away from perfect gratitude toward the Bertram/Norris family she immediately rejects as an immoral response. She frequently takes herself to task at these moments. Anger and resentment are natural responses meant to help us protect ourselves against mistreatment from others, and this self-defending response is entirely squelched by Mrs. Norris’s behavior to her.

Mrs. Norris’s behavior toward Fanny is not only emotionally abusive; it is also at least physically neglectful, if not physically abusive. Despite the fact that everyone agrees that Fanny “is not strong”, Mrs. Norris makes a lot of difficulties in Edmund’s attempts to make sure Fanny has a horse to ride, and also refuses to allow Fanny a fire in the East Room, even in the middle of winter, a privation that ever Sir Thomas thinks bad enough that he countermands it--though doing so with a little explanatory disclaimer to Fanny explaining why Mrs. Norris MEANS well and why Fanny shouldn’t dare to be angry, or indeed anything but immensely and forever grateful for their neglectful treatment of her:

Your aunt Norris has always been an advocate, and very judiciously, for young people’s being brought up without unnecessary indulgences; but there should be moderation in everything. She is also very hardy herself, which of course will influence her in her opinion of the wants of others. And on another account, too, I can perfectly comprehend. I know what her sentiments have always been. The principle was good in itself, but it may have been, and I believe has been, carried too far in your case. I am aware that there has been sometimes, in some points, a misplaced distinction; but I think too well of you, Fanny, to suppose you will ever harbour resentment on that account. You have an understanding which will prevent you from receiving things only in part, and judging partially by the event. You will take in the whole of the past, you will consider times, persons, and probabilities, and you will feel that they were not least your friends who were educating and preparing you for that mediocrity of condition which seemed to be your lot. Though their caution may prove eventually unnecessary, it was kindly meant; and of this you may be assured, that every advantage of affluence will be doubled by the little privations and restrictions that may have been imposed. I am sure you will not disappoint my opinion of you, by failing at any time to treat your aunt Norris with the respect and attention that are due to her.

~*GAAASSSSS-LIGHTINNNNGGGGGGG*~

“Oh, shit, you’ve been freezing to death here for years because your aunt’s an abusive asshole. Oh, but there are three million excuses for her, and also you’re SO GOOD AND GRATEFUL that I KNOW you’ll never allow yourself to see it for the abuse it was, and aren’t you so GRATEFUL to us all for everything we’ve done for you? We MEANT well. And being abused was good for you anyway. If you ever get mad at your abusers I’ll treat you with withering criticism.”

*gagggg* I could write an entire essay explicating the gaslighting in that passage ALONE.

I could go on and on about Mrs. Norris’s abusive behavior toward Fanny, but I think most of it’s perfectly obvious to the reader. I think a very interesting argument might be made on whether Mrs. Norris would count as having a form of narcissistic personality disorder--always worried about her own importance, living through her golden child Maria, taking everything out on her scapegoat, insisting always on associating her own value with that of Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram and insisting on Fanny’s status being lower because her own self-esteem is dependent on being as good as her sister Bertram and better than her sister Price. Might be interesting.

Part 2: Fanny Price’s Trauma Responses

Complex emotional trauma expresses itself in a number of symptoms and behaviors. We’ve already talked about emotional flashbacks, and I’m going to look at four more major aspects of Fanny’s trauma responses.

Anxiety and Hypervigilance

People with PTSD often suffer from hypervigilance, where their body is constantly on high alert for threats in their environment. These threats are not only physical threats (resulting in things like jumping really hard at sudden noises) but also interpersonal threats. For instance, whenever I hear people talking really quietly in my house, I stop whatever I’m doing and listen REALLY HARD because I’m worried they’re talking about me and it’s gonna be bad.

Fanny exhibits this same behavior when she has retreated to the East Room when Crawford is in the house to propose to her:

She sat some time in a good deal of agitation, listening, trembling, and fearing to be sent for every moment; but as no footsteps approached the East room, she grew gradually composed, could sit down, and be able to employ herself, and able to hope that Mr. Crawford had come and would go without her being obliged to know anything of the matter.

Nearly half an hour had passed, and she was growing very comfortable, when suddenly the sound of a step in regular approach was heard; a heavy step, an unusual step in that part of the house: it was her uncle’s; she knew it as well as his voice; she had trembled at it as often, and began to tremble again, at the idea of his coming up to speak to her, whatever might be the subject. It was indeed Sir Thomas who opened the door and asked if she were there, and if he might come in. The terror of his former occasional visits to that room seemed all renewed, and she felt as if he were going to examine her again in French and English.

Her trembling at the sound of her uncle’s footsteps looks like hypervigilance, and the fact of her childhood “terror” being “renewed” sounds like she’s having another flashback, since she so strongly associates the presence of her uncle in the East Room with those painful childhood visits. She reacts with physical symptoms of stress, trembling at his approach.

Fanny’s anxiety and hypervigilance also demonstrates itself in her being constantly convinced that people are going to be angry with her. When she turns Mr. Crawford down, for instance, she is CONVINCED that Miss Crawford is going to be furious with her, and fears to meet with her. Edmund tells her Miss Crawford isn’t REALLY angry with her, but cannot convince her:

The promised visit from “her friend,” as Edmund called Miss Crawford, was a formidable threat to Fanny, and she lived in continual terror of it. As a sister, so partial and so angry, and so little scrupulous of what she said... she was in every way an object of painful alarm. ...The dependence of having others present when they met was Fanny’s only support in looking forward to it. She absented herself as little as possible from Lady Bertram, kept away from the East room, and took no solitary walk in the shrubbery, in her caution to avoid any sudden attack.

Fanny is so terrified of a polite confrontation with Miss Crawford, whom she has never seen angry before, that she spends DAYS trying to never be alone so that she’ll feel protected by the presence of company! Of course, when Miss Crawford DOES visit, she’s nothing but friendly. But Fanny’s PTSD couldn’t allow her to believe that until it happened. Her anxiety is intense, and this sort of thing happens repeatedly over the course of the novel.

Over-accommodation of others / people-pleasing

Childhood emotional trauma frequently leads to people-pleasing behavior: doing what you do not want to do simply because someone else wants you to. To understand this, you have to put yourself into the point of view of a very young child or an infant. Children depend entirely on their caregivers for survival: they are aware of this on an instinctive level. If the caregiver shows them very conditional love, only appearing pleased with them when the child does things they like and displeased when the child does things that inconvenience them, the child quickly learns that they need to please their caregivers in order to survive. “Mom gets angry when I cry--Mom doesn’t like me to cry--if Mom gets angry at me, I could starve to death--I need to not cry.” Obviously this line of thinking happens on a subconscious rather than a conscious level, but it’s incredibly powerful nonetheless. I have found myself in situations where a person with some kind of power over me--a doctor, for instance--shows displeasure with something I say to them, and I INSTANTLY find myself backing off, making light of it, taking back everything I said, etc, even though I very much meant it and it needed to be said. The people-pleasing instinct is very strong and difficult to overcome.

In Fanny’s case, it isn’t just a matter of her caregivers showing her inconsistent love in early childhood. Even as an adult, she is fully aware that she needs to please the Bertrams, or she--and her family!--are SCREWED. She is entirely financially dependent on the Bertrams. If she displeases them, not only can they make her life at Mansfield even MORE uncomfortable than it already is, but they can send her back to Portsmouth. Even worse, they could stop their financial support of William and the financial support they are periodically sending to the rest of her family. Huge things hang on Fanny’s pleasing the Bertrams, and it’s small wonder she has developed the habit of trying to please everybody constantly (even her un-pleasable Aunt Norris).

Fanny repeatedly does things she doesn’t want to do, simply because someone asks or tells her to, even if there’s likely to be no major consequences if she doesn’t. One example is on Miss Crawford’s last visit to Mansfield, when Fanny is trying her darnedest to avoid speaking with her alone:

[Miss Crawford] was determined to see Fanny alone, and therefore said to her tolerably soon, in a low voice, “I must speak to you for a few minutes somewhere”; words that Fanny felt all over her, in all her pulses and all her nerves. Denial was impossible. Her habits of ready submission, on the contrary, made her almost instantly rise and lead the way out of the room. She did it with wretched feelings, but it was inevitable.

Fanny doesn’t want to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny doesn’t NEED to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny could stall, perhaps until Miss Crawford left. Nonetheless, the MOMENT Miss Crawford asks it of her, Fanny does it--even though she’s clearly terrified, feeling it “in all her pulses and all her nerves” (more on this physical reaction later). She acts almost like Ella Enchanted: she literally can’t say no.

Likewise, she doesn’t take opportunities she is offered to do things that she DOES wish to do. After a very long description of how much she wants to dance one evening, when her only chance of a partner is Tom, the following exchange occurs:

When he had told of his horse, [Tom] took a newspaper from the table, and looking over it, said in a languid way, “If you want to dance, Fanny, I will stand up with you.” With more than equal civility the offer was declined; she did not wish to dance. “I am glad of it,” said he, in a much brisker tone, and throwing down the newspaper again, “for I am tired to death.”

Fanny DOES want to dance, and the way that he worded the question, she could very well have said, “Yes, please,” and gotten up to dance with him. He has made it obvious that he doesn’t want to dance, and she has picked up on this and said--not only that they don’t have to dance, but the LIE that she doesn’t WANT to dance--in order to please him. Later Austen points Tom out as a hypocrite when he complains, “It raises my spleen more than anything, to have the pretence of being asked, of being given a choice, and at the same time addressed in such a way as to oblige one to do the very thing, whatever it be!” But while it is true that Tom left Fanny LITTLE choice in the matter, it is also true that a stronger character, like Miss Crawford, could probably have found a way to say that she DID want to dance, even with such an unencouraging questioner. Fanny cannot do this: she has been conditioned all her life to give in to people--because her very SURVIVAL has depended on it.

In particular, Mrs. Norris has squelched Fanny’s independence of spirit very firmly. At one point she observes, very unfairly,

There is a something about Fanny, I have often observed it before—she likes to go her own way to work; she does not like to be dictated to; she takes her own independent walk whenever she can; she certainly has a little spirit of secrecy, and independence, and nonsense, about her, which I would advise her to get the better of.”

As a general reflection on Fanny, Sir Thomas thought nothing could be more unjust.

Obviously, Mrs. Norris is completely wrong about this. But as long as she can project* the fault of independence on Fanny, and punish Fanny for this false fault, she can prevent her from ever developing it. By picking on the least little supposed sign of independence and harping on it for ages, Mrs. Norris can prevent Fanny from ever developing a will of her own.

[*Footnote: this is another thing narcissists do: they project their own bad behavior on to others. Mrs. Norris is definitely not secretive, but she is very “independent” and has a lot of “nonsense”--instead of consulting with others about what they actually need in any given situation, she TELLS them. She has no spirit of cooperation, and all her “services” to others tend to be officious and useless.]

Low self-esteem

I thought about putting this together with the section on Mrs. Norris, because Fanny’s self-esteem has been so much shaped by her aunt. This is the kind of message Mrs. Norris is constantly drilling into her about the lowness of her importance:

The nonsense and folly of people’s stepping out of their rank and trying to appear above themselves, makes me think it right to give you a hint, Fanny, now that you are going into company without any of us; and I do beseech and entreat you not to be putting yourself forward, and talking and giving your opinion as if you were one of your cousins—as if you were dear Mrs. Rushworth or Julia. That will never do, believe me. Remember, wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last.

This message is so entirely in keeping with the messages Mrs. Norris has been indoctrinating Fanny with over the years that she has fully internalized it. When a primary caregiver tells you over and over again that you do not matter to anyone, you come to believe it:

[Fanny:] “I can never be important to any one.”

[Edmund:] “What is to prevent you?”

“Everything. My situation, my foolishness and awkwardness.”

“As to your foolishness and awkwardness, my dear Fanny, believe me, you never have a shadow of either, but in using the words so improperly. There is no reason in the world why you should not be important where you are known. You have good sense, and a sweet temper, and I am sure you have a grateful heart, that could never receive kindness without wishing to return it. I do not know any better qualifications for a friend and companion.”

“You are too kind,” said Fanny, colouring at such praise; “how shall I ever thank you as I ought, for thinking so well of me.”

Fanny’s “I can never be important to any one” sounds very much like a triggered teenager sobbing, “Nobody will ever love me!” even while friends next to her are demonstrating that they DO love her. The survivor of this kind of abuse comes to a place where their beliefs do not reflect reality because their beliefs instead reflect the intense emotional rejection they have received from their main caregivers*. Fanny is important to Edmund, William, and Lady Bertram, but is convinced that she not only is NOT important to ANYONE, but never CAN be. She also convinced that she is foolish and awkward, probably by the early experiences at Mansfield when she didn’t know all the intricate rules of high society and was far behind Maria and Julia in her education. Fanny, though she is extremely shy, manages to carry off most things with surprising grace, and she is clever and has a wisdom and common sense in some things far beyond her years. Yet she is CERTAIN that she is “foolish and awkward”, because she has been repeatedly called so by authority figures in her life and almost all of her family at Mansfield.

[*Footnote: these extreme beliefs are often couched in “black-and-white” language: “EVERYBODY hates me, NOBODY loves me, I’ll NEVER be able to do it right, I’ll be alone FOREVER”. We can hear this in Fanny’s “I can NEVER be of importance to ANY ONE”.]

Fanny not only thinks very lowly of herself, she also is afraid of being praised or of anything that could possibly raise her self-esteem. For instance, in a discussion with Edmund, she explains why she never wants anybody to notice her:

[Edmund:] “Your uncle is disposed to be pleased with you in every respect; and I only wish you would talk to him more. You are one of those who are too silent in the evening circle.”

[Fanny:] “But I do talk to him more than I used. I am sure I do. Did not you hear me ask him about the slave-trade last night?”

“I did—and was in hopes the question would be followed up by others. It would have pleased your uncle to be inquired of farther.”

“And I longed to do it—but there was such a dead silence! And while my cousins were sitting by without speaking a word, or seeming at all interested in the subject, I did not like—I thought it would appear as if I wanted to set myself off at their expense, by shewing a curiosity and pleasure in his information which he must wish his own daughters to feel.”

“Miss Crawford was very right in what she said of you the other day: that you seemed almost as fearful of notice and praise as other women were of neglect.”

She is literally fearful of notice and praise--because Mrs. Norris has told her repeatedly throughout her life that she must NEVER shine more than Maria or Julia, must NEVER take attention away from them--a sort of vicarious narcissism. And Fanny feels that to receive a compliment, to state her own opinions, or even to TALK much in company is “stepping out of her place”, the high crime and misdemeanor of Mrs. Norris’s upbringing.

I was raised by a narcissistic caretaker, and I am sometimes suddenly overwhelmed with terror that I’m taking too much attention to myself and that I’m therefore BAD somehow. Because a narcissist (or their proxy, the golden child) must always be the center of attention, the scapegoat is emotionally punished for ever taking the spotlight. Mrs. Norris is disposed to be upset when Sir Thomas holds a dance in Fanny’s honor, and is only reconciled to it because SHE will be able to make herself the center of attention in the preparations.*

[*Footnote: I think another argument can be made for Mrs. Norris’s narcissism in her response to Crawford’s proposal to Fanny:

Angry she was: bitterly angry; but she was more angry with Fanny for having received such an offer than for refusing it. It was an injury and affront to Julia, who ought to have been Mr. Crawford’s choice; and, independently of that, she disliked Fanny, because she had neglected her; and she would have grudged such an elevation to one whom she had been always trying to depress.

Mrs. Norris is DETERMINED to put Fanny down, as the scapegoat, and is offended that one of her golden children (her emotional stand-in) is shown less honor in this situation than the scapegoat. For the scapegoat to be elevated and her narcissistic stand-in to be neglected induces a narcissistic rage.]

“Sensibility” and High Sensitivity

In the 18th century, a theory and “culture of sensibility” grew up in places like Britain, France, Holland, and the British colonies. Encyclopedia.com’s article on sensibility states, “Sensibility (and ‘sensible’ and ‘sentiment’) connoted the operation of the nervous system, the material basis for consciousness.” But the workings of the nervous system, they believed, affected more than just the physical body. Some people, it was held, had greater sensibility than others: their nerves were more easily affected by not only physical but also emotional and moral input, and they responded accordingly--not just in word and in deed, but in tears, blushes, trembling, fainting, etc. It was believed that people’s emotional responses AND physical responses could tell you something about their physical AND moral makeup. A truly modest woman, for instance, would blush and look confused when confronted with something that offended her maidenly modesty. A woman--or indeed, man--who was truly moral and “sensible” would be emotionally affected by something sad, such as a tale of oppression, to the point of openly weeping. A heroine of sensibility would most likely faint if threatened with something she found, not only physically frightening, but morally abhorrent (such as a forced marriage). This is part of the reason for what seems to use like excessive emotional reactions in some 18th-century novels: the writer is demonstrating her characters’ moral superiority through their physical sensibility.*

[*Footnote: Encyclopedia.com adds, “The coexistence of reason and feeling was assumed, but the proportion of each was endlessly debated, above all because of what many saw as the dangers of unleashed feelings... [After the French Revolution,] The debate over the proportions of reason and feeling in persons of sensibility was politicized, and the need for women to channel their feelings toward moral and domestic goals was reemphasized. The word ‘sentimental,’ which had been used positively, became a label for ‘excessive sensibility’ and self-indulgence.” We can see this conflict clearly in Austen’s Sense and Sensibility!]

There is, in fact, a modern equivalent to the 18th century idea of sensibility: the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). First proposed by Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person (1996), the theory suggests that SPS

is a temperamental or personality trait involving "an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli". The trait is characterized by "a tendency to 'pause to check' in novel situations, greater sensitivity to subtle stimuli, and the engagement of deeper cognitive processing strategies for employing coping actions, all of which is driven by heightened emotional reactivity, both positive and negative". (wikipedia)

While some people have mocked this theory as pseudoscience, Aron is by no means the only researcher to have studied it, and a great many people who suffered from people telling them “You’re too sensitive” when they were hurt have taken comfort in the positive affirmation that high sensitivity is a natural phenomenon and can even at times be regarded as a strength rather than a character flaw.

It seems to me that there is a good deal of overlap between those who self-identify or may be identified as HSPs and those who have C-PTSD. Whether this is because greater emotional sensitivity leads to a greater incidence of traumatic responses to negative experiences, or whether high sensitivity is itself a product of repeated childhood trauma, I can’t say. (Heck, it could even be that the HSP’s belief that they’re over-sensitive comes from childhood gaslighting!)

What I can say is that Fanny Price exhibits, not only hypervigilance, but also what Austen would call “great sensibility” and I would call “SPS”. Fanny has the greatest sensibility of any character in the entire novel, even Edmund: she judges more clearly on moral matters than Edmund or Sir Thomas, and has the strongest physical and emotional reactions to stimuli. She seems to be constantly blushing, trembling, or tearing up. This is not only painful to modern readers (who, if they’re not pained by sympathizing with her, may well be pained by what seems to them a lack of proper 21st-century backbone in a main character) but is clearly highly uncomfortable at times to Fanny herself. She might be able to pride herself on her moral discernment (not that Fanny would EVER pride herself on ANYTHING), and she may be in transports of happiness when something good, like William’s arrival or promotion, occur, but she is often “cast down” as well by things that seem to others like trifles. We see this not only in her hypervigilance but also in the depression and the black-and-white thinking which are often the products of trauma. Edmund observes to her, “It is your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy difficulties greater than they are.” Fanny’s apparent high sensitivity may be just a natural trait (made worse by trauma) or may itself be a product of trauma.

Conclusions

At the end of all this, I’m really not sure what I think about Fanny’s “happy ending”. On one hand, she gets what she’s always wanted in life: companionate marriage with Edmund, valued by Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram, with Mrs. Norris (and Maria) gone forever, and Julia and Tom chastened and better behaved. It seems perfect for her. But a little voice inside of me keeps saying how very unlikely it is. People rarely change as much as Sir Thomas does in the book--and in fact, we are only assured by Austen that Sir Thomas comes to value Fanny more: we don’t actually SEE it. I can’t help but feel that Fanny must still have been subject to ongoing gaslighting about how she was brought up and about respect toward Mrs. Norris and himself. Fanny got what she thought she wanted, but at the same time, she didn’t get free. Especially considering that Austen goes out of her way to say that things COULD have turned out differently and that Fanny and Crawford COULD have been happy together, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Fanny had ended up with the ONLY person in the entire book who truly recognizes how badly she has been treated at Mansfield Park:

[Crawford]: And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be, and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness.

#jane austen #mansfield park #trauma #c-ptsd #literature #tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk

63 notes · View notes

nerianasims · 4 years

Text

Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good.

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

#billboard number ones

3 notes · View notes

thenixkat · 4 years

Text

Cassie in name only

-A fun story shared at every family reunion is about how her great great grandmother escaped slavery and got the family the land they live on. That their ancestor, how couldn’t read or write but was smart as a whip used to kill her master’s children, not all of them of course just one for every child she lost b/c it was only fair, who organized a revolt when they Union army was getting close that kept the whites distracted with folks trying to runaway that let them to be drugged, cut and fed to the hogs and how she headed out west as soon as she was sure the master’s family was dead.

A fun story that got her in trouble at school when she shared it during Black History month.

And one of many reason why she believes that anyone (human or alien) who owns slaves does not deserve to live.

-Land land her family owns is evenly divided amongst her mom and her mom’s siblings. That land borders the nearby national park. Lots of people have tried to get their land for lots of reasons in lots of ways but they’ve managed to keep holding onto it.

Her parents farm is still in use, they grow and sell hay and breed feeder rodents and rabbits, and raise chickens and keep horses. They save a little money growing their own food.

Their man money comes from both of her parents’ veterinary work. Her mom still with The Gardens (which is better structured than in canon b/c like fuck is there just a fucking crocodile pit that people can straight up fall into), her dad does veterinary care for farm animals he just kinda drives out to where he’s needed.

The clinic still operates at about the same level but there’s more people working in there b/w Cassie and her dad and her sister and her brother-in-law. Plus the volunteers. There tends to be someone in there. But added bonus of an actual clean and sterile room for doing surgery as well as an incinerator for deceased patients that really shouldn’t be turned into food/animal feed for one reason or another.

The barn is not a good place for secret team meetings.

-She is definitely chubby, probably fat, because her family makes sure people eat well and eat the kinda stuff that’ll give them the energy to work all day. She is also very strong and has quite a bit of stamina. She’s not necessarily fast, short legs are the enemy of speed, but you will not escape if she decides to chase you down, you will run out of steam first.

She however does not walk around wearing clothes covered in animals shit because that’s both unprofessional and unsanitary. She’s not about to embarrass her family walking around dirty and she’s not about to give some racist fuckwit a freebie to act like Black people are filthy. Her parents raised her better than that. She’s got aprons to use. After doing her chores in the morning she changes out of her work clothes, washes, and gets dressed in her school clothes. Are they fashionable? No. Are they hand-me-downs and/or comfortable? yes. Are they practical in case she need to do labor in them? Also yes and if she gets them messy she knows how to wash her own clothes.

-She doesn’t object to using morphs of ‘smart’ animals, lots of animals are more intelligent than people give them credit for and that doesn’t mean its wrong to use or eat them. Humans are animals just like any other. She does object to just acquiring people and morphing them (yes even hork-bajir and taxxons), mostly b/c wearing someone’s face could probably get that person killed, enslaved, or worse and also people tend to know what their coworkers look like and when somethings off. If they’re gonna have morphs of straight up sapient beings they’re gonna be frolis-ing some shit.

-She’s still an estreen but not because of some unknown talent, she just knows a lot about comparative anatomy. Earth animals, especially vertebrates? Her morphing is smooth is fuck. No knees turning the wrong direction to turn into heels, no finger turning into feathers, she knows what goes where and how. Inverts? A bit messier but nowhere near as bad as the others. Aliens? Does her best guess and the rest is wibbly (if she ever got her hands on info about the internal anatomy of these aliens she’d be sudsy tho). Cassie (in name only) @ the others: I’m begging you to look at an anatomy textbook.

Marco’s a lot better at the frolis maneuver without training but Cassie is better at figuring out the best way to blend animals together.

- Cassie’s family has a lot of land and she knows the neighboring forest very well. There are places that you could say.. hide a lot of people for a few years without anyone noticing. She knows that you can’t just liberate someone without a plan as to what to do next. Rachel’s dad leaving is something that is a very useful opportunity.

-When she finds out about the chee it makes her absolutely livid that these assholes refuse to use their considerable amount of skills to free enslaved people. She and Rachel are of one mind chewing these bitches out for being lazy assholes.

She is also very much not ok with the chee torturing their captive yeerks when they could either kill them or since they have the technology just put them in a pool when they don’t need them. It’s excessively cruel.

-She checks on the free hork-bajir frequently, offers what food and medical supplies she can, gives a helping hand when they start to build. She listens to their stories and shares those of her own ancestors.

-She feels equally guilty whenever a hork-bajir or taxxon falls to her fangs as she does killing humans. Especially after finding out about Melissa’s dad and why Chapman is a ‘voluntary’ host. They look different but they’re still people, just as much as Elfangor and Aximili and Gaf and Mertil are people (even if the andalites show a startling tendency to be racist fuckwits). She does her best not to kill anyone and later favors a hork-bajir morph so she can use dracons to drop and stun opponents.

-Without meaning to, she becomes the one to question Rachel’s plans if they feel too impulsive. Someone has to and as much as she likes Jake he doesn’t really have any strong opinions and neither does Tobias and Marco’s just a tad too aggressive. And the andalites are all... andalites.

They’ve got to think both long term and much bigger than just Earth, especially once the team finds out exactly what andalites are like b/c the yeerks aren’t their only enemy. And Cassie definitely plans to help out her hork-bajir family once the threat to Earth has been managed.

-When a yeerk controlling a little girl named Karen follows her home she mentally kicks herself in the ass and resolves to get smarter about leaving the battlefield and will certainly be having a conversation with the rest about it too.

She does not play mind games with the yeerk, she just disarms the host and takes them to the place that the team starves yeerks out of their hosts. She gives the yeerk an ultimatum and refuses to give a singular shit about what justifications Aftran has for keeping a seven year old girl as a slave and torturing her. She tells Aftran about how her ancestors murdered their slave masters and about all the weird and wonderful forms of life and why the propaganda she’s spewing is bullshit. And that its no one’s job but their own to be a good person. And that Aftran will absolutely die if she continues to be an asshole.

In the end Aftran gives up and in a surprise Karen decides to spare her life so Aftran gets to live as a prisoner in the rebel yeerk pool until her fellow yeerks who aren’t jackasses decide that she’s served her time. The Yeerk Peace Movement gets Karen cleared from the Empire’s records.

-Cassie was not surprised to learn that the yeerks had abolitionists among them. She was surprised to find the free hork-bajir working with them but when she stopped to think about it if the hork-bajir could work with the andalites in their team, the people who committed genocide against their people and were generally racist dickbags, its not that much a stretch that they could work with yeerks too.

#nix meows #aus #animorphs

18 notes · View notes

unicyclehippo · 5 years

Note

can i still say thank you for writing gaf au lexa not only as autistic but as autistic and in a loving healthy relationship?? because sometimes life is shit and i think no one wants someone like me but rereading all the clexa scenes in gaf au where clarke understands how lexa just doesn't get the social stuff and doesn't think less of her for it, it makes me feel a lot better :) you're awesome and thank you again

also gaf au lexa is never treated like a child or weird or anything and it’s just really nice ok thank you for giving me a story like that ok imma go now bye

hey mate im very glad to get this message, it is very kind of u . we (me n @possibilistfanfiction ) spent countless hours talking abt gaf au & it brought us a lot of joy ! so im glad to know it means smth to other ppl too

i dont rly have much that i can say except that the world is very large & that can be rly scary but i think that, or i would like to hope that, it is also much kinder & full of more love than we think. that’s what i like to write about anyway. it’s like that line in brooklyn nine-nine: “every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place”. clarke doesn’t only not think less of lexa, i think she loves a little bit more

(sidenote: lexa in my knight au is autistic too, it’s not explicitly stated bc it’s set medieval & the terms are different but she is. but it’s also a vastly different genre so u don’t have to read that if it’s not ur thing)

#gaf au

8 notes · View notes

elfyourmother · 6 years

Text

@isphet the wild thing is I love Raubahn to death (Gis is an Immortal Flame thru and thru even if she considers herself Ishgardian by SB) and pretty much him and Pipin saved it for me

I think this xpac suffered from weak writing outside of Othard tbqh

[dandy don’t read this, there’s spoilers]

Lyse is a big part of my problems with the writing in SB. I didn’t buy her sudden thrust into leadership like at all and thought it was ridiculous tbh, and I say that not because I don’t like her (I love her) but it was just weak and it’s the same problem i had w da:i and the canon inquisitor, why did Conrad want her in charge in the first place instead of M’Naago, who makes actual sense in that role? what actual leadership qualities did she show at any point in this story? She was basically tagging along doing fuck all but wanting to fight ppl for most of the story. And I needed more, bc you can’t shove a character from comic relief sidekick to arguable protagonist without doing the work

granted her actual character development was good, I thought. it’s just nothing in it convinced me that she should be in charge instead of M’Naago. and it left a bad taste in my mouth despite liking her as a character that you have these brown folk fighting and dying all these years only for this Johnny come lately white woman to swoop in and take over. those optics are ugly. and it felt inauthentic, as if it happened because the writers said so and not necessarily because it was a natural, logical place for the story to go

by contrast at no point in HW did I find myself sensing the hand of the writers hovering over the proceedings, like shit was happening for the sake of moving the plot along, without any kind of organic development

also her reasons for stepping down from the Scions literally make no sense when she’s telling them to a PC who at this point is a very high ranking military officer in a Grand Company and literally fought under an Ishgardian banner, representing Ishgard. pleading neutrality in this context is fucking ridiculous

the Scions were also badly underutilized. Their absence for HW made obvious sense. But wtf was Thancred doing this whole time? Urianger popping up to be the walking deus ex machina device is also wearing thin on me

it was just weak storytelling all around in comparison to HW. I feel like the main problem was they had too many things in the pot and as a result none of it especially got cooked right (except Othard. I didn’t love it as much as Dravania, but I loved it). and unlike HW I really felt like it was obvious when they were holding shit back for later patches or w/e and the story suffered. It was like watching a bad MCU movie, like your Thor 2 type of thing where you know shit is just (not) happening to set up the next thing. Nobody seeming to gaf about Shinryu or Omega for basically most of the story was dumb as hell too

I sound a lot more negative on it than I really am tbh, I’ll still take this over anything WoW did for the last 5 years. But I really have no desire to go back thru it again like w HW.

3 notes · View notes

bthump · 6 years

Text

imaginaryapart replied to your post “imaginaryapart replied to your post “I don’t know if you went into...”

Thanks for responding! I appreciate it. Love this stuff. And yeah I agree that Griffith definitely cares for Casca, and that’s part of what makes this scene so tragic. Manipulating Casca’s sympathy in order to make her stay, in order to make Guts stay, doesn’t lessen the fact that Griffith cares for her. But Casca isn’t Guts, and that distinction seems to be highlighted here. Griffith seems to be responding to a) Guts possibly leaving again and b) the relationship with Casca that he no longer— has, now that Casca and Guts have grown closer. He’s probably trying to be that person Casca knew him as, as you pointed out, and doing it from the point in his life furthest from that past glory. The tragedy is layered here, and I personally enjoy the idea of Griffith using someone he genuinely cares for (Casca) in order to reach for Guts, who always seems out of reach. I also agree that it foreshadows the eclipse and demonstrates the consistency of Griffith’s character when he makes the sacrifice before the Godhand. Thanks for listening to me go on, hah.

thank you for responding too, this is a fun topic to talk about!

yeah I basically agree with everything you said here I think. Honestly the lead-up to the Eclipse was so good at making everything as depressing and painful as possible for everyone involved, and everything you’ve described is a huge part of it.

“Casca isn’t Guts, and that distinction seems to be highlighted here“

Yeah v true, and I think it also effectively parallels Griffith and Casca’s feelings for Guts, the way Casca and Guts’ feelings for Griffith have been paralleled at times (eg during the cave conversation where they both see Griffith as out of reach, and potentially even believing that he desires the other, considering Guts tries to set them up afterwards. Or during the rescue mission where Guts thinks that he has to accept Casca’s lingering feelings for Griffith because he’s not over him/hasn’t unbound himself either). Like Griffith isn’t Casca’s first choice either now, she feels obligated to stay with him, and in the dream sequence Guts’ absence seems to diminish them both.

And ia that the like... tension between genuinely caring for someone but using them (and later, sacrificing them) despite that is great, like the sacrifice wouldn’t be anywhere near as interesting if Griffith didn’t actually gaf about the Hawks. And we see that attitude in his general existence as a mercenary leader too - like when he says to Guts “I will decide the place where you die,” or positions the Hawks with their backs to the river during the Doldrey battle so they have no choice but to give it their all bc they can’t retreat. Like his life is also on the line, so it’s not exactly cruel or unfair, but it is ruthless and it’s great fuel for the guilt issues he denies.

But I’m hugely into the contrast between like, Griffith’s feelings and his almost desperate need to deny them/bury them lol.

I should mention: even though our interpretations differ in some ways, I don’t mean to argue! I’m interested in your take and enjoy the other metas you’ve posted. I agree that Casca really isn’t done justice in Berserk at all, and I honestly hate that so much story has been devoted to “saving” her post-eclipse instead of focusing on what made her badass and sympathetic. That said, I can see why she’s used the way she is plotwise with respect to Guts and Griffith; it’s part of the tragedy for me. (I just wish Casca’s suffering didn’t center so often on the fact that she’s a woman. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth, like womanhood is the only source of suffering for someone like her.)

Same same. Like I have strong opinions and I definitely don’t shy away from sharing them lol but I’m happy to have people disagree with me and get the opportunity to discuss them and get new ideas to consider etc, it’s all part of the fun of being in fandom as long as everyone’s fairly chill. I’m interested in your takes too, whether you agree or disagree :)

And yeah cosigned wrt Casca. It’s such a shame to me because I feel like she had so much potential and some great scenes as an awesome character, but she gets hamstrung by the writing so much, her role stuck between Guts and Griffith, and how every aspect of her character revolves around being a woman, cumulating in the Eclipse and the destruction of her character, and like... damn, yk? It’s a bit hard to take lol.

#imaginaryapart #replies #other ppl's meta #a #b #scene: pre eclipse #character: griffith #character: casca #theme: love triangle

14 notes · View notes

romanticmoonchild · 3 years

Note

Jordan and Maggie and Macy and Harry were all dull or rushed but at least they had material to experiment with. Mel only had somewhat of a solid love story in season 1, and then they shipped fine ass Jada off to wherever and never tried again. Not that they tried all that much with her even. And idk I thought Kat(witch shop owner)was gorgeous but Mel was giving nothing in the chemistry department there, just like with Ruby. Who I thought was so fun and could balance Mel out only for them to have that bullshit excise of staying apart and playing up the Mel/Abby thing. I hated that because it gave the fandom more of an excuse to dismiss Ruby. And finding out more about their relationship this week just makes me feel even more like the writers didn’t gaf. I mean a proposal? Really? Ruby was right about what she said though, Mel sure ain’t know or love her so good for her for protecting her peace. But still, I feel like I keep hoping the show gets better and every season I’m disappointed. Maybe I’ll stop watching because it just gets worse. 2

Yes, the writers suck at romance. With Mel, I think they don’t know how to write sapphic romance past the straight way(tm) to write it so they don’t actually try. I loved Ruby personally and I wanted more of them but Ruby was right. Their relationship revolved around Mel so much it didn’t leave room for Ruby to be known. But also wasn’t Mel with niko for years and they never got engaged? So like why would she propose after 9 months- especially when they weren’t able to touch for a while. I personally didn’t like mel and niko either so…. I was interested in Kat as well. Same with Jada. I wasn’t a fan of Mel/Abby for what you said. Like they barely gave Ruby time but we got all of Abby’s backstory and people willingly ignored their relationship because Ruby is black. (I’ve found the fandom will dismiss or demonize the girl’s relationships if it’s with black people they don’t want them with). I also think she and Abby became a thing (outside of fan pandering) because Abby was a white character with a horrible background so they could easily write her falling for Mel and having Mel change her like straight people. I feel like the writers don’t know what to do and might be too scared so they keep half assing her romances which sucks. I love Maggie and Jordan personally. If they hadn’t consumed Macy with Harry, I would’ve dealt with them but having the love triangle with Abby then trying it with Mel was annoying and bad writing. Again half assing. Like I said, I’m only watching for Lucy right now but if seems like it’s not getting any better I will quit and I wouldn’t blame you. I was so excited for another witch show and with poc and a gay sister. But they have continued the colorism from the og show, they keep startling plot lines just to drop them (it’s like they’re not fully planning them out), and they’re not expanding on the magical world that much. So it’s overall it’s just disappointing to watch it somehow be different and yet the same. (I’ve found most witch shows that involve characters of color have this problem because they don’t have writers of color in the rooms. I don’t think anything will change until then.)

0 notes

janiedean · 4 years

Note

Hi! I'm the Plato anon for before. First of, thank you so much for your offer, but I think I managed on me own. Second, could you elaborate on the "analysing as YA" vs "analysing as an adult" approach? I assumed that "discourse people" on this website generally don't go beyond "antagonist is bad because they are against the hero!" out of ignorance/lack of interest except to score Internet Fame Points, not that it was due a specific mindest. I also don't really read YA (except Tiffany Aching)

TIFFANY ACHING!! T_T ANON LET ME HUG YOU it’s like the only YA I actually liked in my entire life apart from nick hornby’s one book but that wasn’t typical lmao

THAT SAID, well your discourse people point is pretty much part of it but since I’m here and I can rant have the entire thing I was too tired to hash yesterday ;) so, in order:

first thing, we need to establish that ya books and **adult** books generally have different target audiences which is fine and good because obviously if you want to write a thing you’ll do that for An Audience That You Have In Mind; this doesn’t mean that adults can’t read ya or that teenagers can’t read **adult books** because everyone can read what they want (and personally for one I never cared for ya in my entire life not even when I was the target audience), but it simply means that some books are meant to be liked by one category first and eventual others later and they need to be talked about in that specific context first and everything else later - then there might be books that are aimed for kids/young readers or sold like that or that can be read on more than one level which can be appreciated for different things later in time (for example I read huck finn at sixteen and I absolutely loved it but it was a book that here is seen as good reading material also for eight year olds, and at eight I wouldn’t have liked it for the reasons I did at sixteen, and if I read it now I would still like it, while a bunch of the books for kids I read when I was seven is stuff I enjoyed then but forgot now and probably was good for that age but didn’t stick with me);

second thing, that means that when I discuss a young adult book aimed at teenagers I will never hold it to the standards I would hold a book aimed at a general adult audience, especially if it’s the kind of ya like dunno as stated the vampire diaries aimed at teenage girls which is obviously the kind where you have the fantasy world with the hot dark guy who swoons the high schooler protagonist off her feet etc because that stuff is basic teenage girl fantasy 101 and like... I’ll expect a bunch of romance tropes, the usual push and pull, the guy eventually being into her, the protagonist being someone a fourteen year-old can see herself in, probably a few sexual elements thrown here and there and so on, because that’s the shit marketed at fourteen year-olds who want to read that and like... it’s really not that deep. I can’t ask the vampire diaries to be moby dick because it’s not meant to be. or, if I read percy j/ackson - which is another thing I have zero interest in but I know about because I see tweets from the author - I expect to have a bunch of teens coming into their own coming from different backgrounds because the author wants to represent properly a lot of categories so most of his readers can have someone they can see themselves in and like if a thirteen year-old who suspects being lgbt or whatever sees themselves in the gay kid from per/cy jackson guess what that’s what that book is for, so I won’t judge it on like... being a faithful representation of greek myths or how good the style is or whatever, because even if to me it’s not top notch writing or has a plot idc about it has to be for teenagers and pre-teens, not for me, a thirty year old who again didn’t even like pre-teen aimed literature when she was a pre-teen;

third, I can extra clarify it using the damned hp discourse, as in: when I say I’m tired of people not reading anything else or reading everything like hp, it means that they read it when they were growing up/were teens and it was aimed at them which is fine, but then twenty fucking years later when the people in question are way beyond their twenties (guys I’m almost 32 and I remember when the first one came out come on) when talking about any single piece of media in existence (movies, comics, other books) use hp characters/situations as the terms of paragon - like guys I had to read sn/ape comparisons with theon and ky/lo ren on the basis that THEY’RE GREY CHARACTERS as if sn/ape is the only grey character that ever existed, people keep on talking about vold/emort as the only bad guy that ever existed and so on, and like... you can’t talk about, idk, asoiaf or any book aimed at an adult audience like you’d talk about hp, because at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I read comparisons between sn/ape and ivan karamazov and I think I don’t need to specify how completely nonsensical that would be;

now, with all of this explained, what I mean is: ya in general - which is not a fault per se of the genre since it’s aimed at teens and pre-teens - tends to have... very fixed narrative schemes depending on which teens it’s addressing - like, stuff like tvd or twilight is obviously the romance teenage girl fantasy where you have the girl fighting to be with the dark beautiful supernatural creature in question, per/cy jackson is more like I’ll give you a bunch of relatable characters having cool adventures against bad guys with the occasional redemption so we can see that people are redeemable but you still have right vs wrong, hp is sort of like that in the sense you get relatable-ish protagonist with relatable friends growing up throughout the entire thing and fighting on the good side vs the evil side including the usual death of the mentor plus people who seemed bad actually not being bad™ except that PJ has more povs and better rep from what I gather but that’s not the point so it’s basically the growing up journey for the young protagonist(s) the kid sees themselves in, then there’s stuff like hunger games where you actually have the dystopian worldbuilding just written to be enjoyable by younger people who don’t want to get too depressed (and ngl I haven’t read the books but I’ve seen the first two movies and guys the way everyone ignores the classist commentary in thg to discuss the love triangle is... a staple of the problem tbh) but still try to introduce deeper themes and have more nuanced characters and at the same time are still written to be enjoyed maybe by the more adult side of the target, and at the same time I can’t say that thg is the same as 1984 when it comes to target audience because 1984 doesn’t make the ugly dystopian themes more accessible using the love story/teenage protagonist etc;

at this point the problem is: if you only ever read ya and nothing else in your life (which is what a lot of people here do - guys again when I got here in 2011 if people didn’t discuss hp they discussed john gr/een, the only *adult*-aimed book I see discussed on tumblr is asoiaf... because of got X°DDD) then you end up seeing every other piece of literature expecting what you do out of a young adult and then you expect adult literature out of young adults/ya to approach certain implications the way an adult novel would, which is... frankly ridiculous;

specific examples: I see blogs which are principally about like ya fantasy books ie acotar or shadow/hunters or whatever shitting on grrm because AAAAH HE’S PROBLEMATIC/MISOGYNIST/HE HAS VIOLENCE AND RAPE IN THE BOOKS BLAH BLAH and like... spoilers: if I wrote a fantasy series aimed at fourteen year-olds who want their fantasy romance with the hot dark guy who is maybe a tiny bit problematic but turns their leaf for them I would hold back on blood and violence, if I wrote a fantasy for adults where I want to be realistic about misogyny I will not, and the fact that grrm gets judged on what happens and not how he writes it (and again, saying that a guy who has 1/3rd of his pov characters female except that it’s actually 50/50 because there are no throwaway povs except for mel while guys have a lot more of them and all the female povs have narrative weight [and mel has it before she gets one] and all of them have a different personality and he also has the same trope [brienne and arya] in two people with wildly different personalities and needs which is basically a goddamned miracle is a misogynist because there’s misogyny in his fantasy world is ridiculous imvho) which is.... exactly expecting of asoiaf what you’d expect out of acotar, when grrm and acotar’s writer write for wildly different audiences. now, if I had read acotar at 15 and asoiaf at 15 I’d have had no doubt re asoiaf being more my thing because again the subgenre acotar goes for is not my thing because I never related to that fantasy while brienne is my rep, but in general a 14yo girl who likes the acotar-like stuff will not care for grrm.... which is normal because grrm writes for adults of both genders, not teenage girls (I mean teenage boys also have their own subgenres for which the same rules are valid), and someone who likes percy jackson (aimed at both genders but like... pre-teens early teens) who doesn’t gaf for grrm won’t because it’s not aimed at them unless they like grrm for other reasons ie idk they realize that they relate to jon snow idk but you see my point, so like tldr that’s what I mean with if you only read ya you’ll expect adult writers to handle their themes like ya writers would and like... sorry but if I write stuff for adults I won’t feel the need to specify that the bad guy is B A D with neon lights because an adult should grasp that from the narrative, I don’t need to make sure it’s obvious bc it’s aimed at kids;

reverse: when I see people saying ‘the vampire diaries is problematic because it’s about people who are a hundred years old preying on teenage girls so we need to stop teenage girls from reading that kind of thing because it makes them think it’s okay to go with someone that much older than them’, we’re at the opposite problem in the sense that you’re asking a young adult novel what you would ask of AN ADULT NOVEL when there’s no point in it. like, a teenage girl knows perfectly that damon salvatore doesn’t exist and vampires don’t exist and werewolves don’t exist - the entire point of tvd is that she gets to fawn over the hot supernatural dude who changes for the better thanks to the female protagonist she most likely sees herself in and she gets to have a few nice fantasies about that which is like... normal for people who are developing their sexualities, most people wouldn’t actually want damon salvatore the way he’s exactly in canon irl because they know it’s a fantasy and so it should stay. like, sorry but as someone who watched the show because ian somerhalder is hot in her twenties and tried the first book and gave it up at page 30 because I couldn’t do it, I can 100% assure anyone that the biggest issues with tvd books are that the writing is really fucking bad (for my standards at least), with the tvd show that from S4 the writing spiraled downwards and no one wanted the magical vampire pregnancy witch twins ridiculousness, but none of the content actually was shit that anyone would take seriously like that and I wouldn’t expect tvd to approach that subject realistically. if I read a vampire book aimed at adults who actually wants to write such a relationship as creepy WELL YES OF COURSE I’D EXPECT IT TO BE OBVIOUS ABOUT IT BEING CREEPY, but if it’s aimed at freaking teenagers... it’s a fantasy and not really that deep, take it for what it is and let teenage girls enjoy thinking about smooching damon salvatore (or stefan or whoever) without assuming they need to be protected from Horrible Vampire Fiction™, same as no one goes bitching about unrealistic sex scenes in serialized romance books because people read them because they’re unrealistic and escapism, not because they expect nobel prize worthy exploration of themes from them;

now, ^^^^^^ would not happen if people actually read variedly and studied some decent lit analysis in school - but like, after I had to read I think at some point that of mice and men is ableist... THAT’S the damned point - with ya you can take a lot of the plot at face value, with adult lit you can’t and you have to see motivation beyond the action of the characters and you can’t do that if you only read books aimed at pre-teens/teenagers where obviously that’s... more spelled out than it would be in a book aimed at an adult audience;

that by the way also means wildly missing actual adult themes discussion in ya, because again, I haven’t read thg but from the two movies I’ve seen it’s fucking obvious that the whole thing is an anti us-classism commentary from how the districts are built to how the games are rigged to pretty much everything in the worldbuilding, but all the discourse I see on tumblr is about either the love triangle or katniss being miscast or president snow being a jerk and whatever else, but I never once saw anyone saying ‘heeeeey the people in katniss’ district are an in your face metaphor of poor people in the us of a belonging to certain categories while the first few districts are absolutely the 1% and the entire point of it is that she wants to tell you A CLASSIST SOCIETY IS BAD AND WILL LEAD TO REVOLUTIONS’, which to me was... like, glaring, it was literally what 90% of the entire thing was about and no one ever discusses it in a fandom-wide sense (I mean... I saw a bunch of hg posts back when the movies came out, I never saw this brought out), which... is a problem because it means that the moment people are put in front of a ya product that actually tackles that kind of issue.... they go and worry about the love triangle (which seemed to me the excuse to draw the people in the story) not about the social commentary, and like, maybe a twelve year-old won’t catch on the social commentary, a twenty-year old especially from the us should, and I don’t see that happening;

and sorry but that is because if you only engage with content aimed at a younger audience than your target first you assume that every piece of literature should be consumable/readable/enjoyable by a younger audience (and sorry but no, some of us don’t want to write stuff making sure teenagers like it) and then ask of actual ya media to cater to their *adult* needs and not to the needs of the target audience because wow obviously if you’re 25 you won’t want out of literature what you wanted at fourteen;

and this also is valid for children’s media because again, I’m cutting it short, but adults watching st/even universe and sending people death threats because they don’t agree with their opinion of a cartoon aimed at an audience that’s at moooostttt eight years old is a thing that shouldn’t even fucking exist, and if you think steven/universe is that important at an adult age you need to re-assess your priorities;

tldr: adults should not expect media aimed at kids/teens to cater to their interests and shouldn’t analyze it the way they’d analyze a piece of media aimed at an adult audience and should not presume that every piece of media should have the scope/schemes of medias aimed at kids/teens because some of us don’t want to read that.

now, I’ll leave you with a nice short anecdote which hopefully will further clarify what I mean and add to another point which would be, kids and teens don’t give a fuck about what you, an adult, do: when everyone was in a frenzy about my little pony back in 2013 or so I had to see a ton of posts like ‘AAAAAH MEN/BOYS WHO ARE INTO MLP ARE STEALING THE SHOW FROM YOUNG GIRLS HOW DARE THEY ENJOY IT WE NEED TO KICK THEM OUT’ with added people saying that a ten year old male kid who tried to kill himself bc his friends bullied him bc he liked mlp deserved it and the likes, my only thought was that... when I was 8-10 in elementary school and was actually the target for cartoons and stuff, sailor moon was the rage between all girls my age me included, we’d spend recess playing pretend (and I’d get stuck playing sailor mars bc no one wanted her, sad) and our hugest first world problem in existence was that we needed technically a mamoru and of course no self-respecting boy in elementary school would have admitted under death threats to watching sailor moon because it was a girls’ thing (aaaaah gender roles in the early-mid 90s, how fun) so everyone despaired because ofc no one wanted to play mamoru... and the few times any guy actually showed up like HEEEEY I WANNA DO IT BUT PLEASE DON’T TELL MY FRIENDS I LIKE SAILOR MOON we’d all be like OMG YOU’RE OUR NEW FAVORITE PERSON PLEASE YOUR SECRET IS SAFE because we couldn’t believe we found the magical boy™ who wanted to do it, and if anyone had told us that the kid in question was stealing sailor moon from us we’d have laughed in their face.

like.

kids don’t ask of media what you, an adult do, and it’s unfair of you, an adult, to ask children’s/ya media to cater to your damned interests, which are amply catered to by the tons of adult literature around which also forces you to push on your views and read more challenging things and to not read/watch stuff at face value, which is why I would really appreciate it if the amount of 20yo people on here who I consider adults engaged with more adult media and let themselves be challenged instead of just going back to ya/kids’ things, which are good for teens and kids and can be enjoyed by everyone but should not be the only goddamned genre you measure all other literature against because then you get people saying that lolita is pro-pedo when it’s exactly the goddamned contrary, but if you think that pov character = protagonist = good guy (which is... staple kids/ya stuff for obvious reasons) then you decide that humbert humbert is someone you’re supposed to root for. too bad that you’re not and the author was an actual csa victim so it’s a completely ridiculous reading that wouldn’t happen if you didn’t read lolita the way you read hp.

... okay, I’m done, sorry for how long this was, I hope it cleared things for good xD

#literature for ts #janie rants #idek #Anonymous #ask post #suicide attempt cw

39 notes · View notes

schalaasha · 4 years

Text

Soundtrack of the Year 2015 Post Archived

Originally posted January 18, 2016 on the old forum.

I don’t have much to say other than ... I’m tired of 2015. Haha. It was a rough year so I didn’t get to listen to everything I’d wanted to! I did get to listen to the Yasunori Mitsuda remix album, and a bunch of albums that Solune and I talked about over the course of a few months. My shortlist was apparently longer than some expected, and I do think 2015 had a lot of great albums. Although the Canadian dollar sank like a tank (and this isn’t going to change heading into 2016), I did try to listen to as many soundtracks as I could. However, I will readily admit that I did not get a chance to listen to everything like I usually do in previous years. Personal life combined with work combined with the crappy dollar combined with falling in love (this is a good thing), kind of made it a little hard try to check out new stuff. I was fairly on top of everything for the first half of the year and then everything kind of fell apart towards the end. The decision between my number one and number two soundtracks was fairly tough. I went through a lot of mental wrangling in terms of the question “do I vote with my heart, or do I vote with my head?” I don’t usually like going with my heart when I vote for game of the year or soundtrack of the year. It feels completely biased on my part, and I feel like I’m not evaluating something with clarity or based on its own merits. Then I sort of realized, “Well, isn’t that the point?” In my head, Undertale takes the win. In my heart, though, something else does, and it’s entirely based on context. So this year, I decided to go with my heart. Listening to my heart feels weird. I feel very strongly about two soundtracks this year, and therefore, I have decided to go with only two. This is also the first time that I think I’ve written a list where I’ve played all the games. I could be wrong on that front, but this comes as a genuine surprise. I am disappointed with the lack of Falcom on my list, but I am not entirely comfortable throwing a vote Tokyo Xanadu’s way because I’m almost finished the game. While I do have a lot to say about Tokyo Xanadu’s soundtrack at the moment, I would much rather experience the music further in context before throwing a vote its way (but the soundtrack is really good, and the game itself is quite fun!). Previous Posts: 2011 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2 2012 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2, LTTP Post 2013 Soundtrack of the Year: 1, 2, 3, 4 2014 Soundtrack of the Year: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 Soundtrack of the 6th Generation: 1 / 2 / 3 I decided to forego the awards this year, particularly because I decided to forego my Worst Soundtrack of the Year award. My pick for that would be more than a bit controversial, and I think a few folks know what that one is so I’ll let it slide under the rug. Honourable Mentions x. Ori and the Blind Forest : I’d been waiting for this soundtrack for months before the game came out, and it did not disappoint. I was going to make it #3 on my soundtrack list, but halfway through my writeup for it, I felt as though I lost my motivation to write about it. Therefore, I am only including a top 2 this year. A lot of the tracks are incredibly emotional (Light of Nibel, and whenever there’s a rush to quickly platform (Restoring the Light, Facing the Dark), the pacing of the tracks do the level design justice. x. Tokyo Xanadu : Mixing electronica and violins makes this soundtrack fairly classy, from the upbeat yet elegant Strayed into Passage to the characteristic Believe It!!. Falcom hasn’t lost it; the sound is just evolved to fit Tokyo Xanadu’s tone. x. Nights of Azure : Holy shit, Nights of Azure is some hot shit, and I wish more people listened to this soundtrack cuz Solune and I love it so much. Moving from some hard rock (Malicious Roses and Edge of Apocalypse to the jazzy Hotel Ende. I wish I had way more time to spend with this soundtrack and imported the game because the soundtrack is definitely Top 5 material. x. Splatoon : Shooters aren’t my thing. If everyone I tweet didn’t bring this soundtrack up when I was asking for help with the archive, then I probably wouldn’t have known about the soundtrack’s variations. Sucker Punch, Ink Me Up x. Legend of Legacy : I like Legend of Legacy. Or, at least, when I played the Japanese version of it. It had stuff I liked to nitpick and the game is certainly not for everyone. The music itself feels like an extension of Hamauzu’s recent work. Ex: Twin Dimensional Battle, Initium (one of the better town themes he’s composed, imo) x. Kirby and the Rainbow Curse : I didn’t finish this game. I, uh, didn’t feel like it jived well with me, and anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely adore Kirby. But this game has some fantastic tuneage, from Great Cave Escape to Dethskullk Jam to The Final Battle. A lot of the soundtrack drives back to previous Kirby games, which is to be expected. However, the tone of the music moving directly back to Kirby Super Star sounds felt right. x. Transformers Devastation : I had to laugh when NTom64 brought this one up to me, just because I... wasn’t expecting it? I didn’t play the game, so I don’t know if any of the music fits the context at all (never mind that I saw the Transformers movie and I know The Touch fits super-well), but holy crap, the music is incredible and I think it deserves the Badassery Award. Sample: Face the Devastation 2. Undertale

Toby Fox

It’s not even a damn contest. I can reiterate what everyone has said in this thread up to this point about Undertale, but it’s undeniable that this is one of the best soundtracks of 2015. Heck, it might be the best soundtrack of 2015 if the whole “voting with your heart” thing didn’t get in the way for me. Basically, it took a lot of convincing to get me through this game. For one, another GAF member (Shadow Hog) gifted me the game on Steam because I essentially refused to play it at the time. And I’m still thankful that he did. I played through the whole game with Noi doing his own playthrough and we pushed each other through the game. It took some prodding from EmCee to finish off the game and get the True Pacifist Ending to add more meaning to the soundtrack overall (and I took Noi with me in tow for that, too). Now that doesn’t mean I don’t like the game. I just got spoiled on the endings and a lot of things before playing the game because, well, a lot of people wouldn’t shush about it. When I played the game, I felt like it was about the journey not the end. The game’s musical journey is fulfilling. Writing about Undertale’s soundtrack feels like a daunting task simply because there is just so much to say. From references to other games, to leitmotifs being used in single areas, to different types of instrumentation, to different soundfonts being used... there’s a lot of things to say about the soundtrack, and even just glancing through this entire thread, there are a lot of different things that people are saying about it. Undertale’s soundtrack is fairly difficult to review. There are a lot of tracks (well, actually, that part isn’t too difficult; I’ve reviewed 100+ track albums before), they all have extremely varying track lengths, and they all use different soundfonts that somehow create a cohesively-sounding album in the end. Overall, the album encourages the listener to be attentive: to soundfonts, to leitmotifs, to different references to other games, and more. There are twenty-three leitmotifs in the entire soundtrack. Undertale’s soundtrack release also composes of music that hasn’t been used in the game. I think the best way for me to approach the soundtrack, and Noi and I were talking about this last night when he was trying to get me to stop panicking about writing this post in general, is through discussing the leitmotifs. It’s like he said to me, “When you listen to <track>, what do you think of?” Well, there are a lot of things to think of. Nearly every single theme in Undertale references something else internally and externally. There are so many albums and soundtracks that use underlying motifs for everything, but Undertale kind of goes for the nth degree with respect to subtext and motif usage. The soundtrack opens up with Once Upon a Time, serving as the Undertale theme and the primary leitmotif in the game. The thing about the Undertale theme is that I guess it’s supposed to evoke a comparison between either Pollyanna or Eight Melodies. Going into the Start Menu continues a Mother comparison in terms of the Fun Naming themes without the “OK desu” part. More of the Undertale motif picks up in the comforting midi string theme Home, and it’s here that you start piecing together that all of the thematic similarities between each theme and their usage essentially crafts a story. Or at least, it lets the player have expectations of characters or areas. I particularly like the B-portion, where it sounds like it’s channeling some of the acoustic-driven themes Chrono Cross. It is also here that the player recognizes that Undertale’s soundtrack isn’t just a mesh of soundwaves; it uses midi to its advantage and thus steps up soundfont usage even further. The Undertale motif doesn’t surface until much further into the album under the Hotel and Can You Really Call This a Hotel, I Didn’t Receive a Mint On My Pillow themes, which are more flamenco-based, upbeat and resort-like. I particularly like the latter theme simply because it merges the Undertale theme with the uptempo nature of another character’s leitmotif (rather, the leitmotif isn’t used, but the tempo is). The live acoustic with the final Undertale theme in the neutral ending is so, so good. It mixes another leitmotif from His Theme and the Undertale theme to create a piece that’s used in a particular area that weaves in and out of battle and serves as an excellent conclusion for the six-hour journey. The Undertale motif is used in further pieces on the soundtrack, but I will elaborate on those further down the line. Your Best Friend is the next motif and it’s kind of one of my favourites simply because it comes from this stupid two-channel harmony but extends into something else entirely as the motif is used beyond this track. The next track is a major spoiler, but This theme is hilarious out of context because it’s just amazing how much mileage a 23-second loop got in six entire variations with different samples and soundfonts entirely. It makes complete sense in-game, but listening to it out of context like I initially did, I had to wonder why a 23-second initial loop got so much mileage and different soundfonts applied to it in one single theme. Finale has a ton of synth bass applied to it and I adore its pacing with a piano lead turning into a backing. Trying to apply the theme to a synth bass-orchestra is a nice touch too. Ruins is one of the more curious tracks in the game because it’s referenced several times in places that I didn’t particularly expect. I love the B-portion after the introduction because the percussion is so good. It’s the first place where you start realizing that everything is all connected. Ruins is further referenced in Waterfall, for instance, and it’s an entirely different area altogether. In fact, the Ruins leitmotif fits into another character’s motif altogether and gets a bit combined. Undyne has her own leitmotif, which sounds rightfully knightly and gothic (yet the loop is incredibly short), but in battle themes and general themes concerning Undyne, a lot of the leitmotifs intervowen into these themes are that of Ruins. The few themes that are raw arrangements of Undyne’s own theme in another soundfont (and I may add that the sampling is fairly decent for some of these soundfonts) entirely is Dating Tense!, and Run! (which I feel is a better arrangement of the two). Undyne’s battle theme, Spear of Justice is a hot number, with several portions throughout the track dedicated to sampling other themes: from Undyne, to Ruins (specifically, the version of it in Waterfall), Don’t Give Up, to An Ending. The backing makes the theme for me, and the introduction hits the right notes, especially when they’re held. The C-portion with the different arrangements and instrumentations of Undyne’s theme before the loop is so melodic and catchy. Battle Against a True Hero also samples a bit of Ruins itself, bringing a little more percussion and synth strings into the fray. Additionally, the Waterfall/Ruins motif also lends itself to Another Medium and CORE (with those two themes adopting thematic elements based on the characters that integrate themselves into the plot of those areas). Another Medium is probably the biggest theme that popped out at me. I played through Undertale together with Noi and we just sat there talking while this theme was playing in the background while just going “baby, this theme is so good, isn’t it?” to each other. Aeana brought it up with me, and I did indeed feel like it references X-Naut Fortress. And a lot of themes in Undertale, thematically-speaking, references a lot of other themes from other games, whether it’s in terms of a soundfont used, or just... being like Dating Fight! and Oh! One True Love. Temmie Village is fucking stupid and it isn’t even cohesive, and I love it. I enjoy the stupid soundfonts used, and I enjoy that it’s supposed to refer to the music played whenever a character’s behaving like an idiot, due in part to the lack of percussion in the track overall. Death by Glamour is one of the more fabulous tracks on the entire soundtrack. The piano harmonies aren’t as cohesive as possible, and the beat is kind of frenetic, but I think that’s what makes the piece its own. It’s an arrangement of CORE, Metal Crusher, and It’s Showtime! It’s a gigantic showcase of, well, being kind of like… um, Roundabout by Yes. The reference was so good that I had to laugh. Even the bass and percussion was replicated so well. A few folks who’ve played the game, and know where Roundabout is from may also get an additional reference, and then everything will make complete and utter sense. Definitely up there with some of my favourite tracks in the game. From here on, I guess I should probably not discuss names of tracks. The penultimate boss‘s theme is one of my favourites. For all of the emotions it evokes, and for the callback to this theme at the beginning of the game (which I truly enjoy has a few channels compared to the actual theme which uses more channels), I can’t help but to feel like it’s my favourite? It sounds like the most honest theme in the entire game. Even though it’s entirely honest, it’s an arrangement of this small theme from another of Fox’s works. It’s nice to see it expanded into something with greater detail. I love the C-portion of this track, due to the percussion and synth voice degenerating into synth piano and chiptune prior to a piano in a lower range taking over prior to the loop. It assists with making the pacing so smooth and frenetic, and emotional to boot. Even if I didn’t hear the theme in context, I’d still feel the same way. Noi and I did another ending last night together. When we heard Here We Are, I mentioned to him that it sounded fairly... Meguro-like? Perhaps that was an error in terms of analysis on my part, because upon further consideration, it reminded me a lot of OFF and Yume Nikki. It also uses the soundfont for this, though it’s not readily apparent. One of the more interesting tracks, Amalgam is a strange sampling of Earthbound tracks integrated into one thing that’s kind of cohesive taken as one whole product. Finally, what a lot of people feel the theme that caps the entire soundtrack off is the final True Pacifist boss theme. Or rather, both of its themes. Noi and I sang the whole things to each other while we were playing through the ending together. In fact, EmCee refused to let me vote for Undertale until I’d finished off the True Pacifist ending, and I could tell why. The first half of the track I linked is one separate theme for an entire phase, using three different motifs dedicated to stronger Undertale themes, opting for a synth violin opening, then transitioning forward into a synth guitar and chiptune. Undertale likes to lie about its upfront appearance. You suspect the entire soundtrack to drown in chiptune, but it doesn’t. The second theme, completely obliterates that notion, opting for a stronger sense of synth/electronica with a combination of guitar, drums, and a nice little xylophone. It’s a very pleasant and semi-rock-opera-esque way to cap off the soundtrack as a whole. I suppose, that the strongest suit that this soundtrack has, is that it tells every character’s story. The synergy between every piece in an area dedicated to that particular character, and also callbacks to other area themes is so flawless that sometimes it’s not even noticeable until you start to think about it. The soundtrack isn’t entirely flawless. A lot of the unused tracks simply sound like that: unused and unpolished. It’s nice to have them there, but they stick out in not the best way. I feel like tracks on the album should have additional loops. Speaking about the soundtrack in a game context, it’s difficult to narrow down a shortcoming because the way each theme is used is dedicated and carefully placed. Undertale was a pleasure to experience, both the game, and its soundscape. It’s an inspired album, internally and externally. It’s probably a stupid and silly reason, but I can’t help but to compare the soundtrack to what Nier the game was: a collection of different references to everything else and nods to other games woven into one thing. Of course, the collection of different soundfonts and different samples in every theme and from theme to theme is really… strange, but I kind of dig it? It’s a testament to the fact to a lack of cohesion doesn’t necessarily break a product because I feel as though Fox got what he wanted out of the game and out of its soundtrack’s lack of cohesion. It’s all over the place, but it fits. It’s different, and out of context, it sounds like the strangest thing, and even in context it sounds like the strangest thing. But because it’s so strange, it sounds so natural and fitting. Undertale is a strange journey. Its soundtrack being strange, yet so cohesive is absolutely fitting, and it has earned its spot as one of the best and strongest soundtracks of 2015.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (patches 3.0 to 3.15)

Masayoshi Soken (some original tracks by Nobuo Uematsu)

This is where I decided to listen to my heart. I really wanted to give Undertale the first spot, because speaking as an evaluator, I felt that Undertale was the most consistent soundtrack of the year and the most impressive soundtrack from one single person. However, as I keep playing Heavensward and experiencing what I feel and what my friends feel, I can’t help but to think with my heart instead of my brain. I picked up Final Fantasy XIV after years of Noi asking me to play the game with him and I didn’t really want to start playing it because I wasn’t interested in any of the jobs until Ninja was implemented. Perhaps it might be slightly unprofessional on my part (lol “professionalism” when it comes to organizing a thread) to choose a soundtrack based on my personal biases and experiences that is game-specific as opposed to the musicality of a soundtrack. A lot of my decision-making with respect to this soundtrack has a lot to do with personal experiences, so please bear with me. A lot of Final Fantasy XIV’s soundtrack, particularly pieces from A Realm Reborn and the 2.x patch content, can be a bit mixed. While some of it is amazing, like Thunder Rolls or Torn from the Heavens, some of it doesn’t feel entirely cohesive. This is due in part by some of the music being remnants from the game that Final Fantasy XIV was, and the game Final Fantasy XIV is today. It is also due in part to Masayoshi Soken having not come into his own entirely yet. Soken has composed for other games, such as Mario Hoops 3-on-3, but these games typically side-games or games that don’t have a lot of traction outside of niche circles. I believe, even since last year, I was waxing poetic about Soken’s work simply based on out of context experiences with his music. Now that I can say I’ve experienced his work in context, it’s even better, and I understand the following he has. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward is, for the most part, Soken’s time to shine in the sun. Although the main theme, Dragonsong, was composed by series’ veteran Nobuo Uematsu, many of its leitmotifs are carried on throughout the entire soundtrack. I do feel as though Dragonsong is more cohesive than Answers; however, that is a personal bias considering I liked Final Fantasy XI’s theme, Distant Worlds, far more than Answers. Truth be told, I did not start warming up to Answers until my Free Company started raiding the Binding Coil of Bahamut more often. That being said, there’s a lot of what Dragonsong does, which works for me more than Answers did (and I’m typically not a huge fan of Uematsu’s vocal pieces at all). Susan Calloway’s diction is, as usual, incredibly excellent. Hearing her voice feels like a gift. As some may recall, I’ve studied vocal music, trained as a mezzo-soprano, so hearing another soprano with a lot of control feels amazing to me. Physically-speaking, it’s hard to control your voice when you get into a higher range and your voice is more of a power voice than a paper-thin voice. My vocal coach and I spent sessions together trying to get my voice under control for Phantom of the Opera pieces where I did both parts when I was younger, even. I’ve come to admire sopranos who can get it done flawlessly, and Calloway is one of them. It’d be an honour to hear this live one day. While the lyrics describe nothing but the legend of Saint Shiva, Hraesvelgr, and the history of Ishgard itself, the way the music is composed, with many of the note holds, some of the simplicity and elegance melodically-speaking, and the feeling and diction emanating from Calloway’s vocals makes the music more meaningful. I feel that way every time I let the game’s opening trailer roll. Many of the game’s themes revolve around Dragonsong’s motifs. Well, “many” is probably falling short of how many truly use its motif. Despite this, as Thoraxes and I had discussed months ago, this soundtrack demonstrates a lot of Soken’s growth as a composer. Dragonsong appears numerous times in different motifs, from the slowest, most delicate pieces, so the more energizing pieces. I enjoy the redone prelude, since much of the instrumentation used in terms of strings is more evocative of cold and loneliness, which enhances Heavensward’s thematic elements a little more. I’ll personally be sad to see the theme go when 4.0 rolls around, but I love leaving the game on the start screen just to listen to it even more. The boss theme, Ominous Prognosticks, is more melodic than the A Realm Reborn boss theme, and it’s even better. It’s easy to hum, and I love the percussion and brass. The percussion drives the entire thing and the strings and brass carry it all the way through, especially frantic bit in the C-section. When the theme launches into the main melody in D, extending into the main Heavensward melody, with the chorus, it’s paced so well with the percussion hitting hard then extending into the main traditional Final Fantasy battle opener prior to the loop. It’s one of the better boss themes in the series, and it’s incredibly catchy. The Primal themes in this game are different from those of 2.1-2.5. Ravana’s themes demonstrate that Soken’s not all about rock operas or metal. The first half is a hilarious waltz. The strings make this far more than the chorus. But then you’re blasted into the second half with some hot bass (throatsinging) vocals and setting itself far apart from the other upbeat primal themes. The instrumentation doesn’t run far from the vocals, and the brass doesn’t overtake any of the vocals, letting the lyrics play out gracefully. I can just sing “the war still wageth on” when it comes up because I know when it’s coming up in the movement. I like it. It’s one of the better Primal themes in the game because there’s a lot of depth to the instrumentation and care taken in lyrical writing. For the second primal theme, Bismarck, Soken decides to go with more electronica as opposed to rock or what he did for Ravana. More drum and bass, and it sounds really good. It’s the first primal theme out of the two main ones that I gravitated towards because of the bass. The second phase adds some piano and slight vocals. The bass and percussion stand out more in front of the rest of the music and it’s something I always appreciate in any sort of music because bass anything is my sort of jam. The second portion of the track where the piano is added is nicely rhythmically-paced, integrating vocals. It’s hard to say out of the two primal themes which one I enjoy more, but it entirely depends on my mood. Heroes is the final boss theme of Heavensward, and it integrates parts of Dragonsong into the theme. Even listening to it while writing this up, I find myself humming the harmony because it’s my favourite part as opposed to the lead melody or the vocal portions. The portions where the main melody of Dragonsong flows in, it’s difficult not to be enraptured by the string sweeps, the percussion, the orchestration, and the brass. The Azys Lla theme is one of my absolute favourites. I don’t know what to gush about first. The introduction with electronica? The organ melodies (oh hell yeah, the organ melodies)? The theme is a deliberate nod to Final Fantasy VI’s New Continent, albeit with different instrumentation. I love the backing, too. It’s not something you typically hear unless you have a good audio system, but in some good headphones, during the downbeat/piano portion in D, there’s some really nice stuff being done with hi-hats and synth vocals. It’s fairly different from other area themes in the game overall, and it stands out by being a completely different genre from everything else. I have a very deep affection for Coerthas Western Day, and Coerthas Western Night, simply because they were really the first two themes I went out to experience for myself when I got to the Heavensward patch. The instrumentation in both is so melancholy, hinging on strings and piano in a cold wilderness. At the same timeChurning Mists Day and Churning Mists Night don’t get a lot of love in-context because... well, not a lot of people like that place. It sucks. Musically speaking, both themes are really nice inverses of each other and easily told apart due to a complete difference in terms of instrumentation. One is a beautiful piano rendition, and the other is draped in strings and plucking. The introductions of each piece are fantastic and tender and slow. Contention, linked previously, is one of my favourite themes in the entirety of Heavensward, and half of the reason is because it’s a very important theme for me. It is supposed to illustrate a deeper connection between two characters in the Heavensward narrative, and hence it’s a graver arrangement, led by a piano, of Dragonsong. However, in a personal sense, I generally associate the theme with Noi and me fighting then making up, or just being together listening to the theme and telling each other that we love each other very much. Thus, Conviction is very important to me, both as a game-player, and as an individual. Musically-speaking, it’s a wonderful grave piano arrangement of Dragonsong, and it doesn’t necessarily build or change outside of synth strings being added in a layer. Nothing necessarily overtakes the piano until a small grave climax in the theme. It’s very tender and I love it very dearly. I kind of dislike the Idyllshire Day and Night themes, and I find the Hinterlands Day and Night themes fairly unremarkable. I feel like they don’t necessarily add anything musically or add anything with respect to musicality other than “here’s this town theme, it sure sounds like a town theme”. The Hinterlands themes simply use instrumentation that don’t necessarily tug on my ears. By contrast, the Ishgard themes (Pillars : Night / Day; Foundation Night / Day), are much better and more grounded in emotion along with motifs for Dragonsong better portrayed through instrumentation. The piano, the brass, and the organs play out the prestige of a town theme mixed with a main title theme, and it’s a pleasure to listen to every time. However, the main dungeon theme for the dungeon in the Idyllshire area, Ink Long Dry, is one of my favourite themes in all of Heavensward. That jazz piano is some of the hottest stuff on this side of D4. The bass stands out, and while the time signature for this piece is weird, and everything about the piece is so weird, it’s the most relaxing piece in the entire game for me outside of another soon to be mentioned. Jazz fused with some weird instrumental hip hop in the main portion of the track, and it sounds so good. Out of the two postgame dungeons in 3.0, I like The Fractal Continuum more (not just because my damage-per-second shoots through the roof based on my job, but it doesn’t hurt!). While Neverreap sounds like a standard arrangement of The Sea of Clouds, Fractal brings its own fun melody to the table with organs, synth, a nice backing guitar, fun backing percussion and hi-hats, a nice little piano. But man, listen to that percussion. It’s almost to die for and I’d love to drum that myself if I ever got better at playing the drums. The Alexander themes are a true treasure. It’s something you kind of expect from the area, and from Soken himself due to his previous work and which genres he chooses to set his themes. The ambient theme doesn’t get a lot of play, and honestly due to the area, it doesn’t get a lot of love either. I kinda dig it because it reminds me of 90s rave music. The electric guitar melody is pretty hot, the organ is hard to hear but it adds a lot of melody, and the backing synth is jammin’. The one theme that everyone loves (well, not Jucksalbe :V :V) is the boss theme! This shit right here is super-hot. The lyrics are hot (dc, dying, dying, electricity!), the percussion is so fucking good in almost every section of the theme (particularly A-portion prior to a verse, with the electronica). The introduction is so good, and I’d love to hear an entire piano quartet rendition of the entire theme because of that. Sometimes I go in, hum one part of the melody and Noi hums the other for the harmony and it feels so good to know someone else gets it. Metal is probably the one theme that some folks who don’t play the game might know? There was a live version done at a panel and some non-FF14 players thought it was hilarious on my timeline, anyway. The lyrics are lore-specific, with FF14’s Goblinspeak pervading throughout the entire theme. This is where “No Busydeals For the Wicked” comes from, and you can’t help but to sing along to it to have something to laugh at because folks aren’t doing their jobs in the raid and not picking adds up when they should also the tank isn’t stunning the legs ... and... what? Metal is a theme that’s more or less a typical Soken theme. The lyrics don’t kick in until the battle actually starts and someone’s hitting something. The instrumentation is so caustic, particularly due to the reliance on hard percussion coming from all angles. The synth and the electric guitar pick up at a fantastic point during the theme’s chorus, and I especially love the bit during the second verse with some of the off-beat string points. It’s so frantic and sounds added in because they were late to the party, but it fits so well. The 3.1 themes are a bit hit-and-miss. The Diadem and its battle theme sound great for the first few times, particularly because they invoke the traditional prelude, and it hinges on more of an orchestrated sound as opposed to the rock or gothic themes that we usually get for raids. The B-portion of the former theme is probably the best part of it as opposed to the introduction which includes the prelude, because it sounds more militaristic due to the percussion, and yet, it evokes a sense of wonder due to the brass and flute. That being said, like any MMO theme like this, it gets very repetitive very quickly, particularly before its loop. The battle version of the Diadem theme is really cool due to the pacing of the track, and because it integrates the classical Final Fantasy battle theme introduction. I like it far more than the exploratory theme, and I kind of wish it had a longer loop because I’d rather hear that for 90 minutes straight as opposed to the exploratory theme. The two dungeon themes in 3.15 are really good, though one is old. Pharos Sirius only got a new (very excellent) piano introduction, and I wish the rest of the piece were more arranged to set it apart from its easy mode predecessor. Saint Mocianne’s Arboretum is gorgeous. I’ve used it as study music. The woodwind introduction, with the piano D-portion is my favourite. Never mind that the dungeon itself is gorgeous; the pacing of the track itself, particularly in its C-portion with its pacing piano prior to the loop and the B-portion relying more on strings and guitar, allow the player to perceive a sense of beauty and magnificence with respect to a slight reference to Final Fantasy IX. It’s a very nice arrangement of the Dravanian Hinterlands theme, and it makes the theme even more respectable. The new Vanu themes are so well-done to me. They’re so evocative of some Genso Suikoden III pieces that tried to inspire the same tribal tone but those themes weren’t always so successful at it. I especially enjoy the piano in this theme, combined with the underlying backing and percussion. It sounds so frenetic and disjointed, but it works so well, and I’m glad that these themes were integrated into the patch. The Gundu theme may not start off as strong, but its final portion before the loop has an excellent orchestrated background with a flute lead. I couldn’t help but to think, upon hearing the themes in the patch for the first time, that Soken grew a little bit. He’s not confined to rock anthems or electronica anymore. He can still land into traditionalist territory and set himself apart. I don’t have much experience with the Lords of Verminion theme because I don’t usually do the event. But man, it reminds me of Mortal Kombat. It’s so easy to dismiss it because of the electronica backing and the percussion, but the best part of it is the violin passage. Even then, it’s unfortunate that the loop is so short, when matches are apparently five to ten minutes long. The Void Ark themes are probably the best new pieces of music in the 3.1 patch. While traditionally gothic, it’s not every day that we get organ and piano-filled themes like that in Final Fantasy XIV. Void Ark’s Calm Theme relies on its organ, its piano, plucking, and softer percussion. I feel like I know the melody in and out because I have someone humming it in my ear every time I run through the dungeon with him. There are times when I literally have to tell him to shush because I’m concentrating on healing or hitting a thing, but it honestly makes me love the melody more because it tells me that the melody is quite catchy. Even during the battle theme, I can’t help but to sing the main melody along with Noi because it keeps me at ease when I’m in a tough situation. I do enjoy that the brass became more prominent in this version as opposed to the organ and piano in the former. The Echidna boss theme is still a variation of the Void Ark theme, but it includes choral work, more brass, and more percussion. The bells return and there is a sweet interlude in the C-portion with the original organ and flute before picking up to the main instrumentation. The final theme added in patch 3.15 is the (final boss spoiler) Primal Extreme boss. Some people kinda hate because it’s not enriching enough, but I love it. I love the B-portion, post percussion introduction, with the piano prelude joining an arrangement of the main final boss theme/Dragonsong arrangement. It’s a good arrangement in a completely different key. After the big bombastic portion finishes, a piano transition occurs which I absolutely adore. It’s backed by synth and very little percussion, and the portion slightly arranges the Azys Lla theme. It then transitions to a paced choral portion of Dragonsong with a final brass fanfare before looping. I haven’t done the fight yet because the running joke is that my FC is busy doing silly distracting things instead of new content (hey man, 3-4-manning content is plenty fun!), but man I’m sure I’ll love it in context when I do finally do it. I had asked Noi to run the Aetherochemical Research Facility with me on Friday because I was still struggling to vote between my heart and my head. And after our run was over, I realized that I should go with my heart. Listening to Dragonsong arranged with more percussion and emotion (brass/piano) made me realize a lot of things. Heavensward as a whole brought me closer to a lot of other people whom I consider good friends of mine. It brought me much closer to Noi in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of three years ago. Talking about our experiences with the soundtrack, a few of us singing the soundtrack to each other, going “whoa” at some new pieces of music, and gabbing a whole lot about different parts of it made me realized that maybe it’s not so bad to go with your heart once in a while. From a technical perspective, Heavensward’s soundtrack is not perfect. It definitely has a few duds. Speaking from standpoint reflective of soundtrack cohesion, while Heavensward elects to use Dragonsong everywhere throughout its entire soundtrack, it isn’t successful in some areas, and it ends up being dragged down because of it (ex: Sohm Al; this is an arrangement for the sake of an arrangement to me). Heavensward’s highs more than make up for its inadequacies, however. This soundtrack, despite essentially being a motif arrangement soundtrack, demonstrates that Soken has grown very much as a composer since A Realm Reborn. And patch content demonstrates that he still is growing. I look forward to seeing what Soken does next, and I genuinely hope that he gets attached to a mainline single-player Final Fantasy game for everyone to experience his work.

#soty2015 #undertale #finalfantasyxiv #heavensward

1 note · View note

slimcard · 4 years

Text

The day I met Fast Jack

It’s been a year Today that Jack passed away and even though we haven’t known each other for many years, I feel sad. I decided to post an amended excerpt from my forthcoming book as an homage to Fast Jack Farrell.

“I’m 76 years old and I want to leave a gambling legacy. I don’t want my hustling techniques to die with me.” - John “Fast Jack” Farrell

January 21st, 2014 – I get a phone call from Fast Jack who is upset and yelling at me for criticizing his book.

But first, let’s put this day in context. It had been 4 years since I learned how to make strippers of all kinds. I had started selling gaff decks, mostly stripper decks, to magicians. I was starting to realise magicians did not know much about strippers except about Svengalis and the classic wedge stripper deck. Not many magicians knew about belly strippers, Ns, shakeouts and all those decks that came from the world of hustlers. Since I was a poker player before becoming a magician, I figured all magicians knew about those.

I was always looking for books about cheating in hopes of finding secrets about these infamous decks of cards. So, when I stumbled on Fast Jack The Last Hustler, a memoir by John Farrell, I instantly ordered it. It is a great read and I read it in a couple of days. I was fascinated by his story. I also liked the fact he was explaining some techniques, plays and gaffs. He explained different types of crooked dice and various techniques to cheat with a deck of playing cards. But there was a play he did using belly strippers that I couldn’t understand. While hustling the state champ of Maryland gin rummy player, Jack explained he would use belly strippers and strip the deck when his target was dealing the cards. That did not make any sense to me. You usually use a belly stripper to strip the cards you want when you are dealing the cards. For example, in poker, I could strip the four aces on top of the deck to riffle shuffle them in the correct position so the aces would end in my hand. This is called riffle stacking. But how can you use a belly stripper when it’s your opponent who has the deck of cards and is doing the shuffling? I figured it was a typo or that maybe he wrote the sentence the wrong way.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it, it didn’t make any sense. I found a website address at the end of the book and figured it was the publishing house. So, I wrote an email asking if there was an erratum that mentioned some mistakes in the book. I completed the contact us file on the website but omitted the first three numbers of my phone number. I try never to give too much information on a website I don’t know much about.

Two days later, I get a short email that says if I am to criticize someone’s life work, I should at least have the decency to write a correct phone number. I decided to play along and I wrote my full phone number, saying I had forgotten to write the area code. But it was a weird email coming from a publishing house. Of course, at the time, I did not know Jack had self-published his book. Fifteen minutes later I get a phone call from a guy with a big deep voice asking me:

“What the fuck is the matter with my book?”

“Fast Jack?” I replied. It’s the only thing I could say that came to mind.

“Damn right it’s Fast Jack!” he said. “Why don’t you like my book?”

“I love your book, sir. That is why I took the time to write.” I said. That eased him up a little. I then began to explain to him why I wrote this email about the belly strippers he would use when his opponent was dealing the cards.

“Oh, you’ve never played gin rummy have you?” he answered. I told him he was right, that I played a lot of poker but never played gin rummy for money. He went on to explain that this was the reason I did not understand the procedure. In poker, after the shuffles, the dealer must have the person on his right do a straight cut (also called a square or dead cut) before dealing the cards to the other players. It’s a single cut that is supposed to prevent the dealer from having a stack of cards on top of the deck that could give him or his partner a winning hand. In gin rummy, you don’t do a single straight cut but a series of small running cuts so there is no location play from the opponent. Location play is when someone follows a series of card and estimate where they are in the deck to help them. If one of the cards comes up, they have a good idea of the next cards. It is a very powerful concept and on the limit of honest play. So Fast Jack was doing a series of running cuts that would allow him to put the gaffed cards (belly strippers) to the top of the deck or to take them out of play by bringing them to the bottom. It was brilliant! He was cheating the guy on his deal. He can’t be accused of cheating if he is not even shuffling and dealing the cards. Every hand Jack would win was dealt by his opponent.

Our phone conversation lasted for three hours. Every time we finished on a subject, he would start talking about something else and I guess I was asking the right questions that kept him talking. At one point, he asked me if I was a cheater or a magician. I tried dodging the question by saying I was more of a gaffer, a guy that makes cards for magicians. I thought he might stop talking to me if he thought I was a magician. At the same time, I wasn’t a cheater and I don’t think I could be a good enough liar to pretend I was. I just wanted him to continue talking.

“How old are you?” Jack asked. I told him I was 38 years old. “Oh, you’re too old to start cheating, you won’t have the stones to do it,” he answered back. “A guy has to be under 28 to start doing this, after that you wise up. You know, to be a good card mechanic, you have to know the game and be able to play it totally on the square. I used to handle my own against top gin rummy players without putting any moves.” Just like that we were on the subject of gin rummy again.

He also explained to me that it’s always better to let your opponent keep score. This way, it keeps him occupied and he won’t be paying attention to what is happening around him and you can always ask him what the score is, right before making a move. “And if he steals a point or two, perfect! He’ll think I am the sucker and that I am just lucky. He won’t suspect anything,” Jack told me.

He then went on to explain to me his theory on the foundations of cheating. I could tell he had already thought this through. Again, I had this feeling that he had kept so many secrets for so long as a road hustler that these days, he had to talk about it. His hustler’s days were gone and part of the reward was the right to talk about it. He didn’t say it like that, but that’s what I was picking up. Maybe when you get to a certain age after cheating for so long, you need to talk. It had happened in Las Vegas for me and it was happening now. That being said, I would learn later that Jack wasn’t completely out of the business. That is why he asked me my age. He figured maybe I could be a student. Fast Jack would always be a hustler. He was always looking for the right angle.

Here are the foundations of cheating according to Fast Jack

1. Know the game. You have to excel in a game before you even think about cheating. “I was a very good Gin Rummy player without cheating but if I cheated, then I was a world champ!”

2. Run-up a deck. This is the basic technique to know before pretending being a card hustler. For example, in poker, you would start by getting three kings to the basement (bottom of the deck). You then pull one card from the top and one of the bottom kings at the same time while doing an overhand shuffle. This technique is also called milking the deck or the Haymaker20. It is an overhand shuffle stacking technique. “The move to learn before any other move!”

3. Have a good clean-up. You have to get the deck or dice back without anybody suspecting anything. You know if a guy is just bragging or if he’s the real thing by the way he does his clean-up. “A lot of guys could do the moves to show off but they freeze once you put them in a game.”

4. “Always put the deck right under his nose.”

This last point I didn’t quite understand. “When you are using a crimp so that the player on the right cuts where you want, the key to make it work is to put the deck so close to him that he can’t really see the side of the deck. This way, he can’t determine where he wants to cut. He is going to go straight down for the deck and cut at the crimp. That is why you have to put it right under his nose!” Jack explained.

I knew a little about crimps and I had read about gamblers putting a bridge crimp in the deck by bending it sideways so the other player would cut to it. I always felt this technique wasn’t very discreet and was not a sure way to get to your stack of cards. But Jack was telling me he had found a sure way to do this. He called it his 10¢ move that made him thousands of dollars. That is the technique he was using when he was putting the deck right under his nose. Maybe it was because we were talking for more than 2 hours over the phone or because I had never seen it done in person, but I couldn’t quite understand his 10¢ move. I would finally understand it the moment I saw it for real in person but that is story for later.

We ended the conversation with Jack telling me about his projects. He wanted to film some videos of his moves with cards and dice. After the release of his DVD on gambling moves, he also wanted to offer some Skype lessons. Jack explained to me that the hustling world he knew is dying and that he was one of the last true hustlers.

“I’m 76 years old and I want to leave a gambling legacy. I don’t want my hustling techniques to die with me.” Jack told me before hanging up. We would talk a lot more over the next few years. I like to think we were friends. Jack was always loyal to his partners and to his friends. I think in his mind, both were the same. I miss you partner.

Slim

#FastJack thelasthustler JohnFarrell

1 note · View note