#because it was utterly ridiculous

[doortotomorrow]

MEMORI : welcome to bardo

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[thevioletcaptain]

whoever stole my account information in order to spend $127 on [checks notes] roku purchases, i hope you have incurable hangnails on every finger and toe for the rest of your shitty life.

[shreddedleopard]

More Sherliam thoughts/headcanons:

I present to you;

Sherlock Holmes who is averse to physical displays of affection/ fondness, who has spent his life avoiding the typical family hugs, elbow and back touches, shoulder bumps, even the playful shoving and back and forth of teenage boys. It gets on his nerves.

Then along comes Liam, and Sherlock is suddenly gripped with this need to touch, in any way shape or form — the urge to tease and shove and poke and throw an arm around shoulders or guide by the elbow or steady at the small of the back or shoulder barge playfully or grab a hand or or or —

And it’s so new and terrifying and exhilarating all at once and he cannot control the way it all spills over when they’re together in New York and he fucking knows Billy is watching him and smirking but bugger it.

Is this what normal people do? Is this the result of pointless but typical human urges?

Liam doesn’t seem to mind. Does he? Or does he? He’d push back if he did, wouldn’t he?

How the hell is Sherlock meant to know how all this works when he’s never given a rat’s ass about any of it before??

UGH.

And then, Liam:

The boy who was the rock from such a young age, who never received gestures of physical affection, only gave them when needed to his baby brother, but never asked or expected anything for himself, even at the nice orphanages, even from the kindest sisters.

Who avoided typical rough-housing child’s play because he had bigger things to worry about and plans to see through their end and adults to impress with his mind so that he could provide for Louis.

The touch starved man who now, suddenly, finds himself on the receiving end of frequent, fleeting body contact from his newfound friend and intellectual soul mate; who is absolutely acutely aware of each and every brush of an arm or tug on a sleeve or elbow to the ribs or arm around a back or forehead against a shoulder or toe to a shin beneath the kitchen table or or or —

And it’s so new and terrifying and exhilarating all at once and he cannot control the way he aches for every touch to come more frequently; for the contact to last longer; for the gesture to become more.

But he’s taught himself not to want and not to ask and not to be any trouble to anyone, because that’s how you get by in life and make acquaintances who feel like they need you, so he doesn’t voice any of this aloud. He just grins softly and accepts the gestures gracefully and contains the spontaneous combustion he feels inwardly, in case it might burn Sherlock or put him off continuing to be so physically present with him.

Billy, however, is neither touch-repellent nor touch-starved and can see through the both of them and if they don’t snap the goddamn tension soon he’s gonna snap it for them.

[the-acid-pear]

You know now that I've officially finished all of the Dialtown routes I have to say Theoroar is probably one of my favorite antagonists if only because he is probably the biggest threat among the introduced antagonists, and I'm ambivalent in whether you'd put him higher or lower than Mingus because she ate lead so I lost respect tbh.

But I mean two things when I call him a big threat; first of all: he IS dangerous. Theo is a remarkably smart son of a bitch who you'd be fair to underestimate because everyone in this town is a fucking idiot or insane but he's merely an eccentric man very aware of what he's doing and how to do it, also equipped with a charged rifle that he's, good enough at using (aside from his hand to hand combat skills); but again, because of the fact that he IS smart, Theo is remarkably well at getting away from situations without losing in any way that could actually personally affect him, giving him a relative control of the situation at most if not all moments.

I think these things come really to shine in chapter 3 not only because he gets a mayor antagonistic role but also because you have the other goons to compare him to; out of everyone there he's not only the single one to get a job and have a reward granted (and also 1) be able to nerf little billy even if by explicit Mingus orders 2) own a loaded weapon) but by the end of his encounter the theme that played when you defeated all 3 previous henchmen that sounded like this goofy almost humillating circus melody doesn't play, instead replaced by his theme as HE decides to stop and "defeat" himself.

To put it in few words: Theoroar is plainly amaizing because he manages to be a physical competent threat while also a smart and level headed man which grants him the ability to be a comically terrifying karma houdini

Or, in even lesser words:

[seawhcre]

Literally saw someone on twt saying shipping nashuri is the same as shipping a woman with her oppressor and i—

where do i begin to explain that calling an indigenous man an oppressor is anti indigenous

edit* meant add, ship it or don’t idc but that shit was straight up fucking insane. ship and let ship bitches

[logical--dreamer]

CHLOE RANT!! SOME SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST EPISODES!

I'm a Chloe stan. I had dug her character even in season 1, but then they gave her some hope. Showed that there was more to her than a stereotypical mean girl. This made her probably one of the most complex characters in the show.

Then season 3's finale happened, and it all fell apart. All season 4, she felt like they took her character, scribbled out everything interesting, and just made her a heartless, mean girl worse than ever. Then through season 5, the show talks to the audience, saying there is no hope for Chloe. That sometimes people are just bad...and I would say okay and call it a day if that was true. But they showed us that little piece of good in her...why show it if she is nothing but evil?

When they introduced Zoe, I was hoping that she would be a secret baddie who would eventually work with Lila. I mean, it works; Zoe is a new character no one knew, who is an actress, and said that at her old school, she lied about who she was. It fit...that plus Marinette giving her the bee miraculous without really knowing her...it felt off to me. Granted, that's all in the past now, and I don't doubt Zoe is a sweet girl, but another part of my idea remains. I thought with Zoe in the picture, and if my evil Zoe theory was correct, Chloe would end up on rock bottom, eventually speeding up her redemption to completion.

At the beginning of season 5, I was in denial. With every bad thing Chloe did, I would say, "it's just Lila manipulating her," until finally, I gave up hope and decided to accept what happened to her character...

...that is until the last two episodes.

Right now, Chloe is at her worst. She had come full circle. She had Principal Damocles and Ms. Bustier fired and Marinette expelled. She knows Adrien is moving to London, something he hasn't told anyone yet. She has Monarch backing her. She is the freaking Mayor....she has everything she wanted. So much power...but you know what else she has?

Lila.

Lila is telling her what to say and do. None of what's happening is actually Chloe. This is just her being manipulated by her "Friend" and Monarch. Both have their own agendas, and one is to bring Monarch down.

Lila did what she did to everyone else. She told her everything she wanted to hear. She fed on her faults and her bad qualities and gave her praise for them. Something that everyone else has criticized and scolded her for in the past. She is getting the affirmation she has been craving "to be who she is."

But what happens when she is no use anymore? When Monarch is taken down, and Lila takes control and no longer needs her?

Chloe is going to hit rock bottom.

She will have no friends. No Mayor father to get her out of trouble. No future because she thought she wouldn't need anything or learn anything because she will always be "rich." She will be alone and face the consequences of her actions.

I think it's then she is going to finally accept her sister and turn to her for support. Zoe knows how it feels to be alone and friendless; it's what happened to her in New York.

Maybe then...only then can Chloe finally see everything she was missing while blinded by her own arrogance and finally be on the right road to redemption.

[todayisafridaynight]

At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in

i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment

[twilight-deviant]

TOMORROW!

[6ubble-gum]

i think my biggest problem with sakura (and naruto in general but mainly sakura) is that we’re TOLD shes strong, we’re TOLD that shes powerful enough to stand next to her teammates, but we absolutely are not shown that. at best shes a decent supplementary to them, at worst shes a liability/distraction. but we’re told time and time again ‘no no sakuras really really strong like shes super strong’ and are expected to ignore all of canon to believe that.

in that same vein we’re also TOLD that sakura and sasuke are in love but again, we are NOT shown that. sasuke can hardly tolerate to stay in her proximity for more than a minute at a time, and only really deals with her because of sarada. (and man, them having a kid at all just seems SO out of character doesnt it? i have nEVER been able to wrap my head around the idea of sasuke willingly putting his hands on sakura for any reason other than to stab her through the chest with a chidori rin-style)

the boruto people have been trying their hardest to show us that Things Are Really Different Now Guys I Swear, but whats done has been done for years now and no amount of putting a sprinkle of glitter on a pile of dog shit is gonna make it any less dog shit. 

[miraclemaya]

i do think saying that video games are incapable of causing someone to feel "violent" is just like untrue, because well i think we can all agree that art causes emotions and influences the viewer. i dont think the interactive nature of video games changes this or makes it worse or anything like this is just what art does it influences those who see it whether it makes them sad or whatever and propaganda is a form of art really and propaganda seeks to instill very specific feelings into the viewer and like let's be real here like cod games when played by people in the imperial core work do slightly normalize the violence against like middle eastern people or whatever, it shifts perceptions especially when kids are playing them and that's probably the reason the us military uses shooters to recruit people

[rackartyg]

am at Event and i wanted a coke from one of the kiosks. but anxiety. so i walked back and forth in front of it for a bit until i worked up the courage to go and!! order the coke!! and now i have coke!!

[elxgantcaptain]

/ have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when I search Captain Hook it’s always the once upon a time hook?

[wizardlyghost]

yknow i think i would maybe have had an easier time in life if i had been a little less autistic :/

[regallibellbright]

“Regalli, do you really think Game Freak intended for the Link Cable thing in Delta Episode to imply every Pokemon cartridge is its own unique pocket universe, and that every generation exists in its own continuity where their Pokemon and mechanics now retroactively Have Always Existed?”

To the second, absolutely. You don’t have a plan to move a meteor to another universe get shot down when another character asks “but what if we moved the meteor to a universe without Mega Evolution? Wouldn’t they be screwed?” WITHOUT intending to imply exactly that. To the first…

Listen, I don’t care if they INTENDED for the ‘every cartridge is its own universal iteration’ thing, it makes SENSE, okay? Like. Think about version differences. Starting in Gen III they impacted the route the story took. Why is that? Which is canon? Pokemon multiverse, all of them are. Some universes have Maxie screw up, some universes have Archie, some universes they BOTH cause mayhem and Rayquaza needs to get the fuck down there and tell everyone to knock it the hell off. Why is the Ultra Beasts plotline replaced with Rainbow Rocket from SuMo to USUM? Pokemon multiverse, Anabel and Looker only show up in SuMo variations and Giovanni only gets the Rainbow Rocket idea in USUM ones.

Why do version exclusives exist? Pokemon multiverse, they only live in this region in certain universe iterations.

Why can Leaf never challenge you at the top of Mount Silver in HGSS and you never get the choice? Pokemon multiverse, all HGSS cartridges come from a universe where Red exists, and for that matter they are separate from universes where you the player character did because of his specific team. Hell, that’s the case for any game where Red and Blue make battleable appearances, isn’t it.

Come to that the only individual cartridges that actually directly connect in continuity to each other, the only Pokemon games built on an assumption that not only did the EVENTS of the previous game take place but that they occurred under the guidance of a Player Character, specifically YOUR Plaher Character, are Black 2/White 2 and then only if you link your own save file. Every other Pokemon PC does not explicitly exist in every other game so they may just have generic versions of their character like Red and Blue and Green from Let’s Go or the Hilda/Hilbert Battle Subway NPC. But what about trading and cross-game transfer, you ask?

You guessed it! POKEMON MULTIVERSE. Canonically thanks to naming the plot device in Delta Episode a Link Cable, you can make a case that every instance of trading Pokemon back to the start of the series was multidimensional travel. (And, in Gen II-Gen I, canonically also time travel.) Union Rooms and the like actually connect distinct universes together. Hisuian Pokemon can show up in ScarVio without any explanation because they’ve been dimensionally transferred and anyway, in this universe they may never have actually gone extinct. Hell, we don’t technically know they actually WENT extinct, they just didn’t exist in the DPPt and BDSP universes. Maybe in the PLA universe they’re known as Sinnohan Goomy or whatever. Or maybe in the PLA universe it’s still known as Hisui. We don’t know. That whole “previous life” thing in ScarVio with the phone cases has the woman never having heard of Hisui (despite a photo of Laventon being visible on the board for history class).

It’s Pokemon Multiverse all the way down, folks. I don’t care what Gamefreak intended in this case, the end result actually holds up enough on reading I just accept this as canon.

[devintrinidad]

Your one reply to my one post got me thinking. If you could ship any of the TWST boys with a Disney Princess/Hero, who would they be and why?

Hey, Devin here!

Oooooffff, that's a good question! I think you mentioned one of the more popular ones like Azul/Tiana, Alice/Riddle, etc., so I'll go with one that is pretty cracky (???) but could work if written/executed properly.

Don't laugh, hehehe.

But what about Floyd/Moana?

Like, Floyd is all about freedom and independence. He does what he wants to do whenever he feels like it. He's like the ocean in that way. One minute as calm as a sleeping baby and the next, as temperamental as a hurricane.

On the other hand, Moana (whose name means ocean!!!), she also likes independence and freedom, but she still adheres to the rules and restrictions of tradition and what's best for her people. Of course, she does go out of her way to leave her island so she can rescue her people, but again, that's because of tradition--that little bit of rebellion was just a bonus.

So, they're kind of like opposites in a way? Floyd is inhibited, while Moana is more restrictive. Both crave freedom and independence in their own ways and regard consequences quite differently. I suppose if they were ever paired together (romantically or otherwise), Floyd would teach Moana to not put so much emphasis on her people's needs over her own while Moana would teach Floyd about thinking before doing.

Plus, I think it would be fun if Floyd were trying to flirt with her, but the ocean decides to interfere if it thinks Floyd is getting too rowdy (like sending a tidal wave his way and splashing him). Also, can you imagine a "kiss the girl" sort of situation where Moana is on her small boat and Floyd is in his merform and he's leaning up to meet her halfway as she leans down? Peak romance, hehehe. Or Moana swimming with Floyd as both humans or when he's in his merform?

I bet Floyd would also have fun with Maui while Moana would try not to get on Jade's hit list.

Both of the Tweels would definitely be after Hei Hei if only just for the bit and to bother Moana.

Thanks for the ask and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D