#because its about him. fucka you

[izu]

this is johnny to me

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

one minute youre having the time of your life laughing at silly early 2000s effects like the tiny nasty gollum doctor and david tennant hovering around in an energy cloud and the next youre sobbing your eyes out watching the most harrowing sequence of personal loss ever put to screen

[pjackk]

Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away

Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋

[hazbin-hotlee37]

I'm seriously pissed off there's no fluffy AdamsApple tickle fics. It's like one of my favorite ships! So... Eat up, fuckas

Like the Garden

Switch!Adam, Switch!Lucifer

Adam had been brought back as a sinner, to... no ones surprise really. He knew it was bound to happen himself. What surprised everyone was that he went to the hotel and fucking APOLOGIZED!

It was the start of a great friendship :]

Soon, Lucifer and Adam ended up figuring out that their old feelings, new for Luci, were coming back/starting. Adam always had a slight crush on the fallen angel, even back in Eden, but at that time he had a wife... That Luci stole. (Tbh, he was more upset about losing Luci)

Some shit happened and accidental confessions were made. Bringing us to now!

Adam and Lucifer were relaxing in Lucifer's room at the hotel. Adam strumming his guitar mindlessly and Lucifer making a rubber duck. (BECAUSE ITS LUCI)

"Duckling? I'm fucking bored." The first man whines as he sets his guitar down.

"And what am I supposed to do about that?" The king of hell asks with a slight smile and an eyebrow raise.

"I don't know..." Adam mutters, slouching on the couch. He then looked over at his... boyfriend? He wasn't sure, yes, they confessed feelings but they never really put a title on what they had...

"Take a picture, lamb, it'll last longer~" Lucifer says, when he catches the sinner staring.

"Fuck off..." He replies, blushing a bit. He then got an idea. He smirked and stood up, sitting in the chair next to the fallen angels, he then wrapped his arms around him and pulled Luci close.

"Ah!..." The king of hell yelped in surprise, then looked up at the lamb sinner, "Since when are you a cuddler..?"

"Since now." The sinner responds with a smirk. The fallen angel shrugged it off, until he felt his... partners..? Fingers graze over his sides.

"A-Adam..." Luci stutters, holding back the giggles that threatened to spill.

"Huh? Whatcha so squirmy for, Luci?" Adam asks with a smirk, but he knew very well why. He then dug his fingers into the kings tummy and his grin widened when he heard the squeal it caused. "No fucking shot! Are you ticklish?~"

"Yohohou knohow that!" The fallen angel responds, trying to curl up, while simultaneously kicking his legs. It didn't work very well.

"Aww, y'know, this is pretty fucking cute" The sinner says, his smirk turning into a soft smile. He kept tickling for a good while, just relishing in the bright and bubbly giggles that came from his partner.

"Ahahadam! Plehehease! Noho more-" Luci begged through his giggles, pushing at the sinners hands.

"Oh fine, you pussy~" The first man says with a playful eye roll and stops his "torture". "Hmm, who knew you had such a cute laugh~"

"S-Shush." The fallen angel mutters, a blush forming on his already red cheeks. It wasn't often that the sinner got to make the king blush, but when he did... He definitely relished the victory.

The king of hell calmed down and playfully glared at his boyfriend, that was all the first man needed to know to fucking RUN. While the king was very ticklish, he was a fucking tickle monster! Having a daughter does that to a guy...

"Looks like I've got a lamb to slaughter~ Its all in good sacrifice, hon!" The king says as he manages to jump onto the sinners back and knock him over.

"FUCK- Wahahait!! I'm sohohorry!" Adam says, but Luci was already attacking his ribs and sides. He was gonna be here a while.

"Hmm, I dont think you are, apple. But you will be~" Luci sing songed, flipping over the sinner and tickling his tummy. He smirked at the squeal it caused and his grin widened at the sight of the Lambs wagging tail.

"You're enjoying this aren't you, Addy?"

"Ahaham NOHOHOT!"

"I think you are~ How cute! Awe, and look at that pretty blushy face~"

"SHUHUT IT- FAHAHACK!"

Sometimes it really felt like Eden all over again, and while they miss it... These two wouldn't change a thing.

[grimescum]

im in the mood to yap so i chose to yap about hellsing ships. i dont partake in shipping usually but i still find them interesting to think abt

all of this is my opinion!!! i dont hate u at all if u ship anything i happen to not like or agree with. if you dont want 2 see someone being judgemental about something u enjoy (understandably so) feel free 2 scroll past

also no being annoying. questions and comments r fine but anything else jsut shut up

ALUCARD X INTEGRA 10/10

goated. there will never be anything better than girlboss x malewife im sorry

though i'll say i dislike the interpretation of integra where they tone down how badass and stoic she is just to make her. like. a little bit tsundere. u cant make the gnc couple gc like that fucka you

ALUCARD X SERAS 5/10

SERAS X PIP 10/10

silly guy x silly girl will never not solo, especially when fucked up angst and cannibalism imagery is involved. heavily tied with alutegra for me

SERAS X INTEGRA 10/10

CUTE!!!! i dont see any fanart of this ship that i dont like. lesbians know what theyre doing and they do it well

don't take my lack of input as me disliking it or anything i just ship to project

ANDERSON X INTEGRA 8/10

cutie...... i see anderson as a big softie even if he's fucking crazy and scary and i greatly enjoy softie guy x serious gal. i dont see much angst potential though unless u bring alucard into the mix and make him jealpus as fuck

i also think the idea of alucard's master cucking him with his own arch enemy is hilarious so it gets a bonus point for that

ANDERSON X ALUCARD 7/10

love the rivalry, love the enemies to lovers, hate how often alucard is twinkified as if he isnt built like a pot of spaghetti. my biggest pet peeve is when people prettify characters and i happen to see this a lot w the content of it i stumble across

if someone makes alucard just as fucking wank looking as he is in canon i will gladly bring this up to a 9 or 10/10. stop being pussies u guys

WALTER X SERAS 6/10

read a very cute fluffy fanfic on this once!! i'm a little mixed about age gaps but as long as the younger one is a consenting adult i see no reason to freak out

good potential for angst with the age gap considered, though i dont think walter would date someone *that* much younger than him for the same reason. i think they'd be very sweet regardless of if they're friends or not

i have father issues so this ship will be getting an extra point

okay, this one i admit can be cute? i quite enjoy the silly normal girl x scary traumatized guy dynamic, but i personally dont like how sexualized a lot of the fanart is, or how they tend to baby-ify seras as if she didnt cannibalize a man. not much flavor here in my opinion. ive never been a fan of heavily heteronormative ships

ENRICO X INTEGRA 4/10

WALTER X INTEGRA 5/10

love the girlboss x devoted malewife dynamic, dislike how the little content i've seen of it comes across as creepy imo. i can def see there being jealousy with how alucard is essentially integra's dog and gets all the attention while walter is just the butler... i dunno

more old men need to get bossed on girlstyle but alucard x integra still does this better i think

WALTER X ALUCARD 5/10

the jealousy to lovers pipeline never made sense to me as a jealous bitch myself but i suppose i can kinda see it since jealousy is not far from admiration... very interesting in the angst department, but i cant imagine how any romantic interactions with them would be like aside from light playful banter

as long as its not baby walter then i'm fine with it (girlycard x 14 y/o walter is 0/10 booo booo tomato tomato)

ive only seen this ship once, i can only assume its appeal comes from hot lady integra beating the shit out of enrico's annoying ass

snarky x serious is a very good trope but unfortunately i think alucard x integra does this better, AND with a romantic aspect that i can see. enrico also annoys me

JAN X LUKE 0/10

DOC X THE MAJOR ?/10

i love the silly dynamic but because i dont feel much for either of the characters i really cant say

WALTER X RIP ?/10

CUTE!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE the crazy girl x normal(?) guy trope, i tried 2 do that with my oc claudine actually!!

i dont dislike anything abt this ship i just wish there was more canon substance

ALUCARD X THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND 5 billion/10

i think its funny and also i enjoy their canon interactions... the 5 billion is mostly satire i'd put this along with the other ?/10 ships

ALUCARD X MINA ?/10

whatever . i see people be very annoying about this ship and i'm aware not everybody is but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. same thing with andercard but the fanbase for it is a lot bigger so i'm more forgiving

i saw this once and i want to be thorough.. um . they are brothers . if thats ur thing then whatever but its not mine

[ruthlesslistener]

*grabby hands* Give me your Thoughts(TM) on Ghost's ascension to godhood as the Lord of Shades

[cracks knuckles] alright so you know how the Kingsoul only becomes the Voidheart after Ghost recovers their memories of their birth, and witnesses their sibling betraying them to become the Hollow Knight, a position of utmost sacrifice? I believe that represents the start of their ascension to true godhood because it is the moment where they reject the cause of their birth (PK's vessel plan), and choose to take their own path, where they accept their nature and embrace the void instead of pushing it away to chase the dreams of the God of Soul. It's significant, because they choose how they want to live instead of following in the path that a tyrant set for them, and so inherit what was denied to them- autonomy. They become their own person, they accept what they are, and, in doing so, step out from the shadow of the Pale King to become a Higher Being of their own right.

Because think about it- a charm is canonically formed from an extremely strong desire made manifest, notably often death wishes or dreams that present themselves so intensely that they manifest into a physical form. The Kingsoul represents the union of two Higher Beings, so it's a charm that was likely formed at the conception of Hallownest, and thus represents the Pale King's heart- his will. When Ghost changes that into the Voidheart, that essentially represents them wiping away the desires of the old king in order to replace it with their own. They LITERALLY take the reason they were born- the reason for their suffering, and the death of all their siblings, the reason that demands them to be mindless and inert- and they overwrite it to make it their own. They forge their own path. They cast a big ol' fucka you in the direction of the Pale King, drown his rule in void, and then make it a part of themselves so that they can call their siblings forth from the shadows to wreak vengeance on the goddess who tortured their kin. It's a similar moment of power to when they first seize the charm's other half (by beating PK's corpse off of the throne, taking it from him, and then sitting on his throne above his inert body), but its even more significant because that is the point where Ghost chooses to become their own person, and to cast off the shackles that their parents put on them once and for all

(PV choosing to follow in the path that the Pale King set for them could also be why they inherited the title as the God of Nothing, rather than purely the Void itself. Nothingness is still a powerful realm to be in control over, but they did not take the Abyss that made them and make it their own, which means that they ultimately failed to become the Lord of Shades, while Ghost's independence is what earned them control over that domain)

[gayspock]

ok the undiscovered country! i actually dont know much at all about this one but i hear people like it

knowing gene died like 2 days after seeing this.... the killer is at large, seriously...

in tthe credits and ive paused like 2 times btw. anyway its so strange thinking that walter koenig is like an older gent now. i think chekov, no matter how old he is, is like a little cunt to me

GOD GEORGE TAKEI HAS SUCH A GOOD FUCKING VOICE. its beyond crazy. also great to see sulu in the captains chair... as he freaking deserves

woahhh hey rand.... hope youre well grace lee whitney rest peacefully my love

points its that big fuck off red bridge in america

hi spock bestie (kicks legs) lets hear your little speech

also admiral (?) cartwright isnt that the same actor as siskos dad hi dude waves friendily

kirk: ☝️🤨 me? spock: i have personally vouched for you kirk: 🤨you 🤨 have 🤨 personally 🤨 vouched? ☝️🤨 for me?

will the girls be fighting ...

okay i know i did joke and jest: however, to summarise i didnt find star trek v nearly as egregious as people said it was. ultimately i found it had its funny moments and was a bit of a mess but i had my fun. itd be wrong to say its a ~good~ movie but frankly the way people went on about it you'd think it was some utter disgrace

all that being said: seeing kirk now, even in this opening scene, speak with conviction against the klingons is refreshing as hell after it. like- shatner super obviously did write tff . you can tell with how kirk is just kind of there doing insane shit and saying heroic crap throughout the movie. literally every obstacle is solved with him doing something ridiculous to save the day. its funny as hell BUT now its like ok now we have an actual character back with us god bless, god speed

speaking of i do like the choice to have him oppose this so vehemently for that reason + addressing the more difficult issue of the klingons since, well... as seen in the LAST movie they just sort of laugh them off. LOL

ALSO THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. YEESH

oh so you remembered you have a son, kirk , now that its actually relevant

also can we be nice to valeris. can everyone be nice to valeris

OUGHHH SPOCK IN HIS VULCAN ROBES. also god i really am so fucking happy when they do vulcan philosophy & spock like this. its all i want, man

WARRIOR ADMIRATION.

valeris said #stop #racism.

and so they raise their points.... did they not raise their points?

again ugh not to be a spock girlie but something something the isolation the arbitrary measures by which we judge each other, the cultural differences in klingons vs humans how much different are the differences in humans vs vulcans how readily will they be to reject us at the end of the day something something theyre my o nly family and yet they bristle and they reject the things fundamental to Me and-

now what is occurring...

btw i have coffee cake yum yum

also did they take out their gravity something on the klingon ship. BECAUSE THATS ANOTHER THING I WANT TO SAY ABOUT SCI FI, YOU KNOW... so miserable that they have the gits always tethered to the ground . i insist we need to turn the gravity off more . i dont care if the budget doesnt allow for it

THAT BLOOD EFFECT. SLAY

oh my god rheyre servingggg in this movie arent they

th... the BLOOD I-

SORRY

I WONT MAKE THAT JOKE AGAIN

ALSO LOL SORRY AGAIN I SHOULDNT WATCH THESE BACK TO BACK - ITS HARD NOT TO COMPARE - BUT GOD THE SETUP FOR THIS ONE IS JUST SO FREAKING GOOD IN COMPARISON. SO UTTERLY DELICIOUS

OH MY GOSH HI SAREK

yaaayy lets kill kirk

okay chang with your little sultry side eye t the camera

I LOVE HOW THEY ALL HATE HIS ASS

WALK INTO A ROOM AND JUST HAVE PEOPLE CHANTING BECAUSE THEY HATE YOUR FUCKING ASS

FUCKA YOU KIRK

HI GRANDADDY WORF ... HELP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

THIS IS SO GOOD LAWYER WORF SAID OBJECTTTIONNNNN MY CLIENT IS JUST A BABYGIRLLLLL COME ON GUYS

theyre sending my girls to prison oh my godddddd...

OKAY COME ON BESTIE SPOCK WE CAN CARRY THIS SHIT OCME ON BABY GIRL

kirk ....

dont be so hostile this is your new best friend ki-

holy guacamole...

THE THING ABOUT STAR TREK IS THEY WILL JUST PUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BREATHTAKING WOMAN ONSCREEN AND ACT LIKE IT ISNT EVEN A BIG DEAL

SPEAKING OF. i'll be so mad if valeris is the assassin. i MEAN I WOTN BE. but i will be. ugh. no respect for women ever in the world. but it feels too obvious and i dont just mean like... in terms of needing a good twist like i dont minddd that but frown sad face... im just sad a cool vulcan girlie might get the short end of the stick so i ddo hope if it is her its a good reveal / good reasoning to make up for it. you know what i mean? i'd be sad if she was JUST brought in for that singular purpose AND/OR if this is something to do with... reasonably affected persons due to the discrimination getting into some extremist shit like get a better twist and try different avenues of conversation for discussing the nuances of that even if you do want to talk abt the darker side of what oppression leads to within minority groups like theres 10 million different points of discussion and you so strangely choose the same one every time and when people contest that its "lacking nuance" even though this seesaw is so terribly unablaced but whatever its also nothing

terribly ironic of me to go on that ramble in the las tliveblog post about managing expectations LOL HELP ........ SILLY GOOSE . either way im super jumping the gun here

THE JUMPCUT OF "KIRK SHOULD BE PLOTTING HIS ESCAPE" AND THEN ITS STRAIGHT TO KIRK GETTING HIS HEAD KICKED IN THATS SO FUNNY FUCK OFF HELP

RUSSIAN EPIC. OF CINDARELLA.

martia slays so hard

also this whole translating thing is so funny god bless youse

OH HELL YEAH WE'RE TWO KIRKSING IT UP. SO CLASSIC TOS.

I CANT BELIEVE I KISSED YOU / MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR LIFE LONG AMBITION THATS SO SICKENINGLHY WILLIAM SHATNER I FELT ILL

THEYRE JUST ROLLING ABOUT ARENT THEY HEY THATSOSFUNNY

"THEY WERE ABOUT TO EXPLAIN THRE WHOLE THING!" OKAY THATS FUNNT I'LL GIVEE YOU THAT. BYE BITCHES

GODDDD DAAAMMITTTTTT

I KNEWWW IT VALERIS... BABE I DONT BELIEVE IT I KNOW YOURE INNOCENT

SPOCK..... PLEASE CALM DOWN

OKAY fucking hell well at least its.. BUT SIGH GOD I MEAN ITS SORT OF OBVIOUS WHEN YOU INTRODUCE A NEW MAIN GIRLIE IN THE LAST MOVIE BUT NONETHELESS. RIP VALERIS AND FUCKING HELL THE VULCAN MIND MELD ... GIRLLLLIEEEE NAURR

i also had to pause mid scene here to go do other shit help WHICH ISNT THE BEST TIME TO PAUSE AND COME BACK BUT

NO STOP MIND MELDING WITH HER GIRL DONT DO THIS ...

also anyways as i was saying im glad it wasnt... yeah you know but nonetheless SIGH. sooo sad ugh i liked her can we not just get a SPECIAL LITTLE FUCKING GIRL. punches wall. saavik i miss you too, i want you back toooooo saavik

"ive been dead before :/" SLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

THIS IS SO FUNNY . THEY LOVE BREAKING REGULATIONS. GUYS. ALL YOU GUYS EVER SDO IS BREAK REGULATIONS

spock... babygirl- kirk leave his shit alone .

yay for mistakes yay for admitting our mistakes

oh my god....... sguyss...

"outlived our usefulness" spock you're kind of in your 40s right now if anything lets all be real here youve got some legs left in you its kirk thats one foot in the grave god bless his soul

warrior to warrior... so real

if theres something abut a star trek man its that he'll fucking spout shakespeare whenever the fuck he wants no damn context either hes just going bababaabab

surgery on a torpedo . so good

arREST YOURSELF GET THEIR ASSES

SCOTTY YOU'VE KILLED A MAN

sisko's dad has been up to no good

okay hell yeah kirk speech lets go

hi again sulu . i like how hes just been chilling off on his own sh-

okay no stop th

stop it dont say it like that im going to get weepy and im suddenly remembering why i put all of this off for so long again decomissioned i'll kill myself i really will i'll fucking kill myself RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

YEAH GO TO HELL

FUCKING TELL THEMSPOCK GOD IM GOING TO WAIL

BONES IS TRYING TO RETIRE THOUGH I WILL POINT THAT OUT

OH my god ... oh my go dddd noo no no no stop the final curise fuck off STOP IT I'M GOING TO THROW UP I'LL KKILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU STOP IT

THERES NO WAY

ME: IF I JUST DONT WATCH IT FOR TWO YEARS IT WONT EVER HAPPEN

AND IT JSUT HAPPENED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RGHGHH GGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OH MY GOD THE SIGNATURES THATS SO .... STOPPPP STOP IT I'LL CRY

no im terribly pathetic i am i will tell you that much

god I HAVE TO STOP NOW

SO LONG FOLKS

[bonmotx]

@avlon​ - fucka the you

The tower of Avalon does come with due housekeeping. Especially so since Merlin insists on inhabiting it like a normal house. In their bedroom, at the very top, Merlin begrudgingly tidies up. They make their bed, make Cath Palug's bed (despite knowing they'll never live with their dear familiar again), dust some shelves of books they've read a thousand times over... and, done! They contemplate sitting at their makeshift computer despite most online activity reaching a complete halt. However, instead they will faceplant directly into their freshly-made bed, as goes the usual routine.

...

The mage sits back up, wide-eyed. Their hands tremble at their sides, and the only way one could attribute the taste in their mouth to a flavor is blood. Fresh, warm, coppery; as if they'd been made to swallow glass. Sickening, sickening, sickening. Merlin's tasted this before, from none other than theirself. Sickening. They resent the stinging in their eyes as they threaten to weep, as they try and fail to swallow a liquid that's not there.

Wanted to live?

"Clearly not enough... ugh, damn it all!"  shouts a particularly distressed Merlin. They hold their head in their hands. Perhaps this is due punishment, perhaps it was selfish of them to stock up on as much of his emotions as possible, in vain hopes of preserving his memory. Perhaps they never deserved to taste them in the first place.

Of course, they miss him. Everyone does. Clearly, everyone else's emotions imprinted within— oh, who are they kidding? They adored him. They still adore him. Merlin fell head over heels knowing full well it would all end too soon, again, like an idiot. Now that he's gone they wish they'd been more honest, but that's how they feel about everyone they've lost, and they've yet to actually become more honest.

An image— a memory, clear as day, makes its way into the foreground. A smile brighter than the sun, and two interlocking hands. They had cute moments when they weren't bickering, didn't they?

God, he was radiant.

Their chest tightens, ribcage lined in thorns. It hurts, but they're smiling too. Though it only takes a single second for it to twist into a grimace. It's safe to cry in Avalon. There's no one to see or hear, not even God. That doesn't stop Merlin from fighting that urge tooth and nail— but they've lost. Sorrow spills from their eyes as their mouth remains full of iron. Full of life. Full of hope.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you—"  'hate' is easier to say than the other word. They dig their claws into the skin of their face as a weak attempt to drive their attention away from their own heartbreak. That also doesn't work, of course. Merlin lifts their head out of their hands, raising an arm to wipe their eyes. Their throat is hot, and their head hurts, and their chest hurts, and they want to sleep but they can't, and everything sucks, and—

They throw their pillow at that long-since-unused computer, knocking it over and onto the floor of the tower. (You idiot, you JUST cleaned everything.) Finally, everything seems to stop, but there's a ringing in their ears.

I wanted you to live, too.

...n conclusion, the only thing left of the man could be memory, sentiment, and rings. Symbols of a bond, of a contract, binding, nine, simple rings. Nine left, nine useless things. 

Yet like the tears of an orphan growing a tree, like the little match girl’s faith, they sat there and absorbed.

Absorbed the death of those who loved, absorbed the death of those who hated. Absorbed the events that happened in that once vast space, now a single, empty throne. Absorbed, like another had absorbed them. 

Absorbed the missing space, absorbed the sentiment directed towards the last proof of the man’s existence. When one thinks of another, where does the thought go? If one said, “it’s not there because I erased it”, does the eraser not contain the words it removed? By what day does the eraser hold millions of words that are unsaid- how can we define those missing words, those forgotten sentiments? Who remembers them?

Nothing. Nothing remembers them, because nothing is proof that they are gone. Nothing is filled with everything. A transparent glass filled to the brim with wine, if it is perfectly filling something without a color, instead can be perceived to be a wine colored glass. If all one sees is what something holds, does it not become what it holds?

They’re meaningless observations, anyways. In some cultures, perhaps, these thoughts themselves would be proof of existence.

Regardless, nobody could question these nine rings existed. There were once ten, and in that loss, the rings became something else. There were always ten, but one ring among them had been a single ring- a ring owned by someone else, someone not the owner of those ten. And when the ten were nine, they were still regarded as the Ten Rings of [XXXXXXX]. 

But that one ring had been someone else’s. (”I think [XXX XXXXXX] is married! Under his gloves, he-”) 

That one ring, eventually, held so much the other rings disappeared- they were erased by it. Because [XXXXXXX] didn’t exist. But the ring existed, in this timeless space, and consumed it, erased it, because it was the one ring that was proof [XXXXXX XXXXXXX] had been someone. 

This was the nature of an eraser, in this analogy, wasn’t it? To rub out any other proof, any other word, any temporary, penciled in details. The eraser would remember forever, the eraser in getting rid of everything, held it all.

Yet none of it was [XXXXXX XXXXXXX’X] feelings. None, except one piece-

iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive. iwantedtolive.

So it reached out. It held everything of the man, and it wanted it all. Every thought, every prayer, every proof he existed.

(If you took a piece out of a puzzle with a frame, and then slowly, one piece at a time, started forming it elsewhere, what would be the ‘true puzzle’?)

It’s a weak feeling at first. But it pushes forward. It pushes forward instead of pulling. That single feeling becomes a storm of emotion, of the sentiments pushed forward towards  [XXXXXX XXXXXXX] and the idea of his life, his existence.

(When one is made out of mourning, it measures the world in mourning, not in joy. This was the mistake of many who [XXXXXX XXXXXXX] knew. It was nearly his mistake itself.)

It’s only when the new, measuring globe begins to go wild, with flashing alarms, with sirens blaring, in another, different place, however, does something bang upon the walls of Avalon.

IWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVEIWANTEDTOLIVE-

A sprig of mistletoe, thick leaves swaddling something thick, lodges itself in Merlin’s throat. It curls oddly, leaves wrapped around- something.

Something hard that sits at the center. The spit covered leaves unfurl. A golden band- one specific golden band. A gardenia bud, yet to bloom, demanding acknowledgement, sprouts out of its empty space in the center.

[scentedchildnacho]

Uhm yea I liked the lecture with the hare Krishnas a woman who is a practitioner arrived to show me conduct expectations.....trainer.....so good wanting to help master and now I can just be a lay person....

You have to want to get into something so it balances back to realistic conduct expectations

You have to be kind of strong spoken and big voiced and if I think about meditation I think about knitting and then I can't really yell the San skrit tongue tied

Well it's more for the young men packers to be free from packing meat so serial killers do need strong influences in women

Hudson Bay company it's more so indigenous men can be free from their labor

Yea I'm going to stop by my friends temple till I do enough learning from master to not have to have this logic mentality problem me anymore

I do have an unconscious logic problem

He asked me my favorite place to go....I just said cities I like going to cities to learn to do economics better.....cities use to be way better and rural use to be really sad though... Like small town or rural poor use to be what was really sad and cities nice lots of people so lots of trade lots to occupy people....and help them and now cities have become such horrible rural sprawl and nothing progresses

Its me so i notice a new Christianity think it can save itself with marijuana kids and they are just corrupt people afraid of having to lose payments

Its marijuana although some may be Christians the secular cannot be converted it's secularism

That's me about really annoying rural people their drug kids forever psychedelics never stops harassing people with mass murder drug wars

The Methodist pastor kept blaming police for night stalking so last night he admitted it's his ownership of the church that hires police to remove sleepers it's that we he said just don't want to so

Because they kept making statements about what police do or not do and I was like you can't really know about a foreign occupation ....its police no one knows what language they actually speak or who they are their an occupying no one

Im from the states no one would pay me to go disturb others.....that's baltics to Fred Hampton foriegn people paid them to call Fred a terrorist and murder him

And that's no one police doesn't like facts misrepresented the police work for majority voters and they should not have to be called completely irrational and wrong their parties don't like reality checks and enjoy watching others raped and killed not themselves and their children

Their neighborhood doesn't want to see the reality of its conduct standard

Their business isn't so profitable if consumers see that spending there impoverishes others

That and police that don't want to do the job left and they finally found police that will kill old impoverished women sacrifice it to restart the war with the mid east

Their only there to shock people of Armenian and the most notorious Muslims so they can keep warring in the mid east

I believe them the methodists in there are Jews and their owners would rape and kill them if they didn't find impoverished people to attract their attacker to

I don't know what's going to happen to that pastor for it......but I suspect some of our help has been priorly incarcerated for drug felonnies and would prefer to rape and kill me of cops before having to ever be incarcerated ever again the drug war produced a very horrible Holocaust expression in people

So I will be leaving there is no help at all from biden...bye great den......and kamela or the mela fucka just more and more wallet grabbers off the welfare so....

Well they kept calling sleeping not collapse and that no appropriate triage response to poverty was important so by civil war statute their federal felons but nothing formal in help is arriving at all so I don't know what will happen to them for that I've found out I have deep karmic beliefs that karma only accurately plays out as an organic process and passively refuse to interfere or get involved

I think they do stalk me for meaningless jail rapes because Tobi treangens mother told me about weed or marijuana that all those beach goers had to tolerate icky girl on girl french porn films for male perverts and if I don't know what it's like to be fucked they will keep chaseing me till i prefer homosexualism mostly and men are Santa Claus

My culture is heteronormative and I am lesbian girl on girl french porn was all too masculine to have any sexual reality....

Because women actually are really offended by an animal that sticks it's butt at it like a masters kid to slaves

And I am not a queer

Otherwise I think they do it to me because my birth fathers mother was clever to me......she knew to allow me negativity so I have never had drive and ambition that could get me into trouble when I could just be a simpleton.....so to them they just do what my grandmother did

They feel their kids ambition to pay for school with drugs I suppose is just being put in jail for others so they stalk me with I should be sacrificed to them I guess

The pastor......he never works or offers to help with physical stuff to do at meals.........so I think I do have some belief in retributive means.....uhm if he can't stop being manically gross and wanting to see cop fucks an endangered woman then I think he should have to experience what a cop fuck is like before calling them to finish off terrorist victims

Because that's usually what happens to cop callers...if cops feel prank called too much they finally turn on the caller for refusing to leave them alone

[hoshiwhxre]

How do you think Enhypen would be like as fwb?

i think for them all *legal line*, they'd enjoy that it's a form of stress relief and relaxation, taking their minds off of everything

while jay gives off these hot fuckboy, hard dom vibes, i think he'd catch feelings pretty quick but just try to hide them, until it gets too difficult for him to carry on and he either calls it off or confesses,,, but before that, he teases you a lot, and defo loves phone sex when you two can't meet, i also see him calling you up at stupid hours asking you to get to his because he needs you desperately,,, doesn't mind getting a bit kinky but tends to keep it to just fucking you out of your mind,,, but can also love those slow, deep, intimate fucka

in terms of sunghoon and jake, i think they'd be good at keeping feelings out of the way (apart from the ones that matter ofc), and i can see them definitely enjoying how fun and casual it is, mainly because it makes it hotter for them, and it's just that bit more exciting - i think they'd both be the type to drag you away when you're in public and fuck you somewhere secluded because they're so desperate, and i think they'd be very teasing about it to the point where people basically know what's going on between you two, they don't care too much about hiding it

in terms of heeseung, i think he'd like it because he might feel he doesn't have time for a relationship, so enjoys the casual no strings attached for when he's needing something/feeling stressed or horny ufm, it's less of a serious thing for him and he can just enjoy it without it affecting anything else - i reckon he'd keep things secret enough, because it's less pressure and he almost likes the sneaking around, defo turns him on,,,, its your guys' little secret,,,, i reckon he's the type to just show up at your door unannounced whenever he wants to fuck, all casual about it, kissing you almost as soon as you open the door and tearing off your clothes as it shuts

[malibu-lemonade]

No Less// MGK

Notes: i’m not a writer and i don’t claim to be but this was an idea that came to my head and i thought it was cute. It’s a bit shitty as it’s my first time writing anything and i didn't know if i should post it or not but its been stuck in my head for days so i just thought oh well.😬🤷‍♀️

I cant help but grimace every time my heel clad foot hits the concrete, regretting wearing the stupid shoes now more then ever. With a sigh I shut the front door and lean my head back against it, shutting my eyes but as always the two seconds of peace doesn't last long and the all too familiar sound of the boys screeching and laughing flooded the room, bringing a small smile to my face. 

“Y/N.... you good?” 

Snapping my eyes open I see Rook standing there, drink in hand and a small chuckle escaping his lips. 

“Huh? Oh yeah...yeah im good, just a long day at work” i say with a small smile, pushing up off the door walking towards my best friend to give him a hug, heels clicking against the tiles.

Wrapping my arms around his neck pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and him doing the same to me, his arms going around my waist. 

A crash comes from the kitchen, followed by the sounds of the guys' boisterous laughs making me let go of Rook and walk in the direction of the commotion. Upon entering the kitchen I see complete chaos, pots and pans are on every possible surface and pots of spices are strewn across every countertop. Drinks are being poured and music is flowing from the speakers, but what really catches my attention is the beautiful smell coming from the hob. 

Slim and Baze are running around, moving between the pans that are on the hob and the counter in the middle of the room, grabbing spices and sauces as they go. Mod makes me jump as he starts screaming the lyrics to a new song coming from the speakers and my little outburst startles the rest of the guys as they finally notice me and Rook standing by the door. 

I'm greeted with a few cheers and yells of my name as i haven't seen them all for a few days, being busy with work and the boys being locked up in the studio working on new content. Making my rounds I go over to each of my friends giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek which they return, it being a normal routine for us as I've been their friend for years. Finally I got to who I was most excited to see, his six foot four frame sat on top of the counter, legs clad in grey sweats, torso bare and hair messy, looking at me with a beaming smile. 

“Hey you” I whisper , pecking his lips as I stand between his legs and wrap my arms around his neck. 

“Hey love” he whispers back pecking my lips one more time before he jumps off the counter and pours me a drink. He comes back and hands me the glass, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. Cuddling into him and sipping on my drink, I watch the guys run around the kitchen. The sight amusing me as I'm usually the one that does the cooking, the guys not being particularly gifted in the culinary department. The only ones who even slightly know what they are doing being Slim and Baze and even their cooking can sometimes end in a disaster.

“Any particular reason why I've come home to see this?” i say to Col, looking up at him. 

“Well we thought that as you've been working all week the last thing you're gonna wanna do would be to cook for us lot, so the boys decided that they would just do a mini barbeque but like.... Inside ‘cos it's a little bit cold outside” he explains 

“Awww I love you boys” I say smiling as I give him a squeeze to show my appreciation.

-

A few drinks and a stomach ache from laughing too much at dinner later, and we've moved our mini party into the lounge/games room, music still playing as the guys mess around while me and Baze play a game of pool.

Kells is as usual chasing Rook while he runs away, Mod recording the whole scene (most likely to put on his ig story). Slim is bent over laughing, clutching his stomach as he gasps for air.

“Come back here motha fucka” Kells yells chasing Rook back into the room.

“Y/N! Put your bitch on a leash” Rook screams as he runs and hides being me, all of us doubling over in a fit of giggles at the look on Colson’s face.

-

Once we had all calmed down, me and Baze resumed our game of pool. Standing with the cue in my hand waiting for my turn, I hear the familiar tune of G-Eazy’s ‘No Less’ play through the speakers.

Taking my turn and then standing back to give Baze room to manoeuvre around the table. 

‘I pay attention, all the little things to listen for True love's true compromise’

G-Eazy's voice sounds around the room as a toned pair of arms snake their way around my waist making me giggle as I hear Colson murmur the words into my ear, placing a kiss on my neck.

Resting my head on his shoulder,I continue to smile and giggle, watching Baze line up his shot.

‘Give you my all, nothing less than, More than a wifey, that my best friend

Do it all for my baby, not a question’

Kells starts to sway us in time to the beat of the music, still whispering the words into my ear. Turning around in his arms, I grin up at him singing the lyrics back to him. Still swaying, our foreheads rest against each other's, noses brushing every now and then, smiles plastered on our faces feeling like we’re in our own little bubble.

It was no secret that we were both head over heels in love with the other but this was the most affectionate Kells had been in front of his friends. He usually liked to keep the moments like these for just us two, claiming that it made them more special and up until now I agreed but there was something about this that made my heart flutter. The fact that he was openly showing how much he loved me made me feel giddy.

As the song comes to an end he presses a delicate kiss to my lips and we just stand there looking at each other for a second before I kiss him again. 

‘You make me feel like a love sick teenager’ I whisper against his lips making him chuckle as we pull away. Looking up as we break out of our little trance I see that all the guys were proudly smirking at each other as Mod once again had his phone out recording us making me blush. Kells winks at me before saying “your shot babe” and nodding his head towards the pool table making me roll my eyes and shake my head before a grin creeps its way onto my face.

- 

Laying in bed that night scrolling through instagram i see loads of fan pages had reposted the video of me and colson dancing. Watching it made me smile as I could see the love on our faces. I knew I loved him and I knew he loved me but seeing it from an outsider's point of view made my heart swell because I never realised how obvious the love was and my god was the love we had for each other obvious.

[cevans16]

Happy Birthday Babe

“Babe...happy birthday” you said as you nuzzled into Chris’ neck to give him a kiss. He stiffled awake and chuckled, “thank you baby”. He stretched along the bed as you got up to get ready, “where are you goin I don’t get my present?” He asked almost offended but you knew he was playing. “Well I would like to give it to you but we woke up late so maybe tonight” you said as you kissed him and walked over to the bathroom to shower. What Chris didn’t know was that you were planning a surprise party for him at his mom’s house along with your family who was in town from California. Scott was an angel in helping you set up a bit while you took Chris for breakfast in downtown Boston, then by lunch you two would switch so you can finish up the decorations and get the food ready. Your mother-in-law wanted to cook but you insisted that nor she or you would be stuck in the kitchen, you would simply order Chris’ favorite cuisines.

“So how do you feel on your magical day?” you asked Chris as you chewed on your crepes. “I feel great, I feel old” he chuckled, “I don’t know I’m so happy to be spending it with you baby” he said as he reached his hand across to squeeze yours. It seemed like he wanted to tell you something but he wasn’t sure whether it was the right time or not. “There’s a but isn’t there?” you asked, “No no, I’m just happy to be here another year”. What you didn’t know is that Chris longed for a family of his own. Being way younger than Chris you guys had talked about kids before you got married, he wanted kids even before you were husband and wife but you asked him to give you at least 4 years into marriage because you wanted to enjoy the married life with him before it all changed and frankly you were scared haha. But he knew never to push you especially when he agreed to wait four years. You guys were on your second year of marriage, it wasn’t perfect but it damn near was.

You guys walked around the Boston Harbor when you “ran into” Scott. “Happy birthday bro” Scott said as he brought Chris into a hug. “What are you doing here?!” Chris asked happy to see him, “oh you know just walking around, hey (Y/N) mind if I steal him for a bit?” Scott asked. “Uhh huh, see I don’t know what you two are up to but okay bro let’s go, (Y/N) you comin?” he asked confused as you were practically power walking away, “No honey that’s why he’s stealing you, I have to uhmmm, I have to finish something at work”, “it’s Saturday”, “Which is why I have to finish it fast because it’s due on Monday....okay bye see you later have fun be safe” you said as you sprinted towards the car.

Lisa was arranging the buffet as you finished blowing the balloons, your family was finishing setting up the tables. Between yours and Chris’ family it was definitely going to be a full house hence the extra tables. “Okay guys Chris and Scott are a few minutes away” you said, “lla mero viene Chris y Scott” you said to your mom.

“Is there a reason why you had to blindfold me?” Chris asked Scott as he tried hard to see through his blindfold. “Uhhh I just don’t want you to see where we’re going”.

You heard Scott open the door along with Chris’ footsteps following behind him. “Okay just stand here” Scott ordered Chris. Chris moved his hands up in defense, “I can’t see shit so I know it’s not smaht to move” he chuckled. “Okay take your blindfold off” Scott said as he was now standing next to you. “SURPRISE!!!!!” you all yelled in unison. Chris smiled big and covered his mouth in disbelief. He pointed a finger at Scott, “you fucka you pulled this shit”. “Are you kidding me no, its all (Y/N)!”. He looked around for you after he gave everyone a hug. “Thank you baby” he said as he squeezed you tightly and kissed you hard. “Anything for mi amor” you said, “oh anything?”, “CHRIStopher”, “what it’s my—”, “Tio Cwis!!” interrupted your 3yr old niece from your side of the family, “Tio Cwis happy birday!!” She said as she lept onto his arms and hugged him. You looked at how Chris interacted with her and you knew you’d been wanting that for a while.

Throughout the party you were playing with your nephews running around the yard playing tag and football. Chris was dousing a beer sitting next to your brothers catching up on life. “So when are you and my sister going to have kids?” One of them asked, “I don’t man it’s up to your sister, she calls the shahts” he said a bit embarrassed. He looked over to you and saw how much fun you were having with the kids, when he blew out his candles he wished you guys had one of your own sooner than later.

You and Chris were getting on your way back home to your family who was spending the time there the next week til they went back to California. Chris was driving when you spilled it out “I want a baby” you said. He thought you he didn’t hear you well at first “hmmm?”, “I said I want to give you a baby Chris, well I want a baby too” you specified. “Are you sure? I mean I know you wanted to wait a while honey” he asked. “Yes I am, I saw you with my niece and playing with my nephews didn’t help, honestly it just wasn’t about today baby, I’ve been wanting to tell you but somehow it never came up” you explained. “Well your family is home now so we can’t really make one” he joked. “Who says we have to make it at home? I thought it was a portable thing” you teased as you ran your hand up towards his crotch. His breath hitched, “here? Now?” he asked, “we can go to that mountain where it’s always empty and we can see the city” you batted your eyelashes at him. Chris didn’t hesitate to floor it towards that mountain before you knew it you were both there. He parked the car and instantly waited for you to jump into the backseat before doing so himself. He sat on the seat and pulled you onto his lap roughly kissing you. “Are you sure honey?” he asked, “yes baby this was your present I was talking about, it will be a baby, sorry it’s going to be about 9 months late” you joked.

-9 months later-

You were on the hospital bed tired from pushing as you looked onto Chris holding his son, Leo. He was a spitting image of Chris except he had your skin tone. “Happy late birthday baby” you almost whispered, Chris looked at you slightly confused until he got it, “ohhh haha thank you baby, this is the best gift ever” he said as he kissed you, his birthday wish came true after all

[elzetastuff]

Pyrrha: "It's a good day to be not dead!"

Cinder: "Pow!" *shoots an arrow to Pyrrha* "Youre dead!"

Pyrrha: "I'm dead!" *dies*

Cinder: *evily laughs before sees Ruby approaching* Oh shit *Throws bow away*

Ruby: *happily singing before she gasps* Oh! Pyrrha is dead!

Pyrrha *on the floor*: "Yes. I am dead!"

Ruby: Why is Pyrrha dead?

Cinder: "I dunno"

P: "I think it was-"

R & C: *hushing at Pyrrha* "Youre dead!

P: "Okay!" *has inmediately a stroke and dies*

Yang: *Jumping out of a car before it crashes* "Wassup you wankers! Whos up for a- Ah! What the bloody hell just happened?!"

Cinder and Ruby: *staring at Pyrrha on a medical table* "Pyrrha is dead!"

Y: "Pyrrha is dead?!"

R: "Correct!"

*The price is right plays as confetti falls and Yang smiles*

R: "So! Did you see the murderer?"

C & Y: "Nah, sorry mate"

R: *slamming her hand on a desk* "I will find her, I will capture her, and no one will ever die again!"

Y: "Ah well, thats nice*

C: "I'm so proud right now*

C & Y: *cheerfully clapping their hands in front of Pyrrhas skeleton*

Nora: *standing between a group of soldiers as she makes a salute* "ATEEEEEEENTION!" *approaches to the crime scene* PYRRHA IS DEAD!"

R: "We know!"

N: "Who killed her?!"

R: "We dont know!"

N: "I will find clues!" *inspects the area* "Whats this? A weapon! That thing is why Pyrrha is dead!"

C, Y & R: "Pyrrha is dead?!"

N: "Yes!" *dramatically punches a desk* "She died!"

C, Y and R: *Dramatic gasp*

"Incoming!" *suddenly an ambulance hits Nora, crashes on a wall and Jaune jumps out of the car* "Raus, Raus!"

J: *Pushes the group out of Pyrrha* Move now! *approaches and kisses her nose*

P: *laughing as divine light surrounds her and floats on the air, then explodes seconds later*

J: "In my medical opinion, that PYRRHA IS DEAD!"

Y: "Jaune, what happened?"

J: "In my proffesional opinion" *dramatic cut* "Pyrrha was killed!"

C: "Oh gods" *panic intensifies on the group*

J: *shrugs* "I dont think its anything to worry about"

Y: "Well, what now?"

Sun: "Clippidy clop mother fucka!"

R: "Oh cmon!"

S: "Look at this! *points at Pyrrha* "The frigging Pyrrha is dead!" *the group stares in silence* "What do you think of that? .... Ahm-"

R: "Yes, Yes, Sun!"

S: "Yeah?"

R: "Go home!"

Sun looks at Neptune on a car gesturing at him to enter

S: "Ah! Come on! Pff!" *Enters angrily to the car* "Seriously freakingunbelievableseriouslyyouallsuck- AHH" *The car crashes on a wall and one of wheels flies away*

R: "Okay, lets go back to the point!"

Pyrrha: *Poking at her own corpse with a stick* I think Pyrrha is dead

Everyone: "PYRRHA IS DEAD?!'

Jaune: *Gasps at Suns and Neptunes car* Sun! I will heal you! *Run to the car but explodes and dies*

P: "Seriously! Who killed Pyrrha!"

Qrow: "Drinks a bottle in a strange way* "It was me!"

Everyone: *gasps*

Qrow: yes! *eats the bottle* "I did it like this" *Grabs a gun, shoots Yang on the face*

*everyone stares at Yangs body in horror*

Q: *drinks a beer and burps* "thats a joke, lads"

Everyone: [Laugh Track]

Q: *Burps louder* "it was.. burp, her!" *points at Cinder*

C: *gasps* "how did you know?!"

Q: "I didnt! That was a joke too!" *Drinks more and dies*

*Cinder stays quiet then starts laughing* "Thats right! It was me!"

R: "You monster!"

P: *on the floor*: "But whyyy?!"

C: "Because youre fat, girl! And another thing, youre ugly!"

P: "Cinder is so mean!"

R: *Stare at both of them arguing, then shrugs to the reader*

P: "CINDER!"

C: "Oh dammit Pyrrha F*ck us! Youre dead!"

P: "No you are!" *Pyrrha makes finger guns and Cinder dies instantly* Hah! Youre dead! No big surprise

R: "... well, that was idiotic, off to hang myself! Watch and lear-" *Ruby proceeds to backflip on a chair, then dies*

P: "I am alive! Its nice" *She smiles while everyone around her is dead* "Yeah... this is stupid.."

[rachel1987]

Feather in My Cap

Inspiration struck today and I wrote this...

SYNOPSIS: An unexpected visitor joins Hatter and Hare for their tea party. And Hare wants them gone.

Rated T for language.

xposted on AO3 and FF.net!

--

Hare walked up the path to Hatter's house with a spring in his step. He was having a rather good day. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, there was a cool breeze running through the trees, his garden was in full bloom! The only thing that could make the day better was a nice tea party with his best friend! And that's exactly what the plan was!

He strode up the little walkway humming to himself, stopping to do a little jig and a spin, when he stopped and faced the little gate with the address 1602 Teapot Terrace assigned to it.

"Someone is in a good mood today!" came a familiar voice from the tea table.

"Gwahuhuh…" Hare chortled, hopping the fence gleefully, beaming. "Hello Hatter!"

"You look like you found an extra chocolate pudding cup in the back of your fridge again," the tall man laughed from his seat on the table. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

Hare did another little happy spin, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes focused on the Hatter. He was surrounded by mountains of mail and he was sorting them by envelope color, all address side down, sipping from a purple teacup. And, curiously, he had a green parrot sitting upon his head.

Hare's mouth gaped a little, not quite sure what to say. It was a strange sight. "Hatter, what is that perched on your head?"

"My top hat, silly!" he replied with a laugh, shoulders bouncing. "I think you've seen it before!"

"No, not thaat!" Hare waved his hands, pointing at the bird with a yellow finger. "The parrot!"

"Oh, that!" Hatter sat upright, reaching his hands up and removing his hat, the parrot not shifting from its spot. He paused, as if to drop some big news on his best friend, before shrugging. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Where'd it come from?" Hare rushed around the table, quite intrigued, taking a seat at his usual spot to Hatter's left.

"I went to get my mail and it landed upon my noggin while I was on my way there…" Hatter mused, reaching a gloved finger out and petting the parrot sweetly. It closed his eyes and fluffed out, nuzzling the digit lovingly. "I tried to chase it off, but it kept following me. So I brought it back here. I've named it Fedora."

Hare reached his hand out and the bird seemed completely uninterested and, if it were a human, would have sneered at him. It continued to love on Hatter's attention, nibbling at the seam at his glove.

"I think it's a blue-crowned conure," Hare said matter-of-factly, adjusting his glasses on his nose. Hatter's brow dropped and he glanced at his friend quizzically, blinking a few times. "I know stuff…" Hare added.

"Well, anyhow, this bird must belong to someone. I've never seen one in Wonderland before."

"I wonder who it belongs to…" Hare leaned his elbows on the table, watching the bird hop off of the top hat and roam its way around. It walked all the way down to Dormouse's teapot, knocked on it with its beak and squawked.

The lid of the teapot flipped open and a brown head popped out, looking around. "Someone knock?" He blinked and he focused on the bird, gave a loud shriek and dove back into the depths of his house, slamming the lid behind him.

The parrot chuckled to itself, bobbing its little head, eyes slitted as he made its way back to Hatter.

"I like it…" Hatter announced, placing his hat back upon his head.

"What should we do with it?" Hare asked, reaching his hand out again to see if the bird would accept him. He was completely ignored, Fedora going the long way around various teacups and food trays so it wouldn't have to even look at him.

"I don't know…" Hatter muttered, who was quite taken with the bird. Usually he wasn't one for pets (Hare had been asking for one for years) but this little parrot had charmed him in the hours since they had met.

"Do you think it talks?" Hare asked. "Some conures can speak, you know."

"Hmm…" Hatter considered this, a finger to his lips as Fedora climbed up his other arm. "Fedora, can you say 'top hat'?"

Fedora looked at him, blinked, cocked its head to the side and said "Top hat!"

Hatter and Hare gasped, looking at each other with excited expressions on their faces.

"Can you say 'crumpet'?" Hare asked.

Fedora looked at him with angry eyes and turned its head away, causing his shoulders to droop in disappointment.

"Come on, Fedora! Say 'crumpet'!" Hatter said the word slowly, like how you'd say it to a child who was learning to speak.

With its eyes still slitted, it peeked over at the Hatter and whispered "Crumpet."

Hatter laughed joyously but the Hare was getting the feeling that the bird didn't like him very much. Maybe he just had to warm up to him. After all, the Hatter had been with him for a couple hours. Perhaps it just took time for him to get used to you.

They spent the next few hours building the parrot's vocabulary, eventually learning that he could repeat entire sentences too. As the day turned into night, they moved the party inside, settling on the sofa in front of the television watching Hatter Knows Best reruns. They were sipping tea and eating cookies when the Hatter had an idea.

"How about this…" Hatter said aloud. "Fedora, repeat after me: A pirate, history relates, Was scuffling with some of his mates, When he slipped on a cutlass, Which rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates."

Hare snorted and choked on his tea, eyes filling with tears as he laughed. "Hatter!" he bellowed, shaking his head. "That's terrible! Where did you hear that?"

"It's in my dirty joke book…" Hatter shrugged, pulling it out from between the cushions of the couch and handing it to the hare. "What do you say, little guy? A pirate, history relates…"

Fedora, who was sitting upon Hatter's knee, fluttered its wings and shouted at the top of its lungs "Nutless!"

Hatter's mouth fell open and he slowly gazed at the Hare, making eye contact with him.

"Hatter, do you know what this means?"

Hatter beamed like the 12 year old he is and nodded.

"We can teach it dirty words!" they shouted together, laughing joyously. Hare completely forgot that the bird had been throwing him major shade all night, getting wrapped up in this realization.

They spent the rest of the evening and into the early morning hours teaching Fedora all sorts of dirty words, giggling like little boys the entire time. No words were off limits, they went through every dirty word in the Wonderland dictionary. They knew because they opened it and went page by page to find them all.

It was nearly two in the morning when the Hare yawned, having a headache from all their laughing. "It's getting late, Hatter. Maybe I should go home."

Hatter was sitting on the sofa, Hare leaned against him, Fedora puttering around the table still full of energy. He was tired and didn't feel like going to bed alone tonight.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Hatter offered.

Hare yawned again and nodded, not needing much encouragement. "Sure," he said with a smile, patting Hatter on the knee as he got to his feet, making his way to the bathroom. Hatter watched him leave before returning his attention to Fedora.

"Okay, little guy, it's time for beddy-bye." Hatter scooped the bird up and placed him in a birdcage they had set it up in the kitchen while they made dinner earlier that night. They discovered it in the attic and it didn't have a front door, but it would serve its purpose well enough. Fedora walked himself in, sat on the little swing inside, tucked his head under his wing and fell asleep almost immediately.

Hatter made his way to his bedroom, removing his bow tie and putting his top hat on its home, before getting ready for bed.

--

"HATTTEEEERRRRRR!" came a loud scream from the darkness of the house.

Hatter's eyes shot open from a dead sleep and he ran through the house, tripping over all manner of items that blocked his way in the darkness. He reached the kitchen, shirtless, heart pounding and out of breath, to find Hare on top of the fridge, Fedora stomping around on the floor, laughing his ass off, screaming all the dirty words they had taught it earlier that night.

"Hatter, that -thing- chased me up here! It's going to kill me!"

"Oh, Hare!" Hatter wheezed, putting his hand to his chest as his bare feet walked over the linoleum, bending down to pick up the parrot. "I thought this was serious. Fedora isn't going to kill you."

"Yes it is!" Hare protested, holding his hand up defensively, as if the bird would attack at any moment. "I swear to god, Hatter! We have to get rid of that thing!"

"Oh, pfffft!" Hatter waved Hare's fears away, placing the bird on his shoulder to let it nuzzle against his neck.

"I'm serious!" Hare climbed off the top of the fridge and was standing on the countertop, keeping a six foot distance from the bird at all times. "It doesn't like me! I just came out here to get a glass of water and it chased me! It kept screaming 'fuck you' at me!"

"Did you do that, Fedora?" Hatter asked the bird, who laughed like an asshole and muttered the words 'mutha fucka'.

"See!" Hare pointed at it with his finger. "It hates me!"

"Alright, alright!" Hatter bobbed his head around. "Fine! Tomorrow we'll make posters and put them up around Wonderland. Try to find his home."

Hare sighed gratefully, still standing on the countertop. "Thank you…" he breathed. He bent down and went to put his foot on the linoleum when Fedora flapped its wings and squawked, causing Hare to leap back onto the fridge again.

--

The rest of the night was a wash. They had to put Fedora in the attic because he kept knocking on the bedroom door like a parent who was making sure no hanky-panky was going on. Hare was so nervous that the bird was going to learn to open doors, that he spent most of the night watching infomercials on television, eyes darting to the gap below the door to make sure little feet weren't there.

At around noon the three set out to the Wonderland Mall. They were going to get a photo taken of Fedora at the Smear's Photo Center and then go to Copy/Paste/Print and get posters made so they could put them around to try to find Fedora's original owner.

They had to hide the parrot under Hatter's top hat in order to get on the bus, the driver had a strict 'no pets' policy in place it seemed. Hatter kept fidgeting because the bird was trying to nest in his blond locks, causing him to look like a toddler who had to go to the bathroom.

When they finally got to the mall, Hatter had to comb his hair out in the men's bathroom because his pride just wouldn't let him be seen with an unruly mop, even if it was underneath his cap.

"You ready?" Hare asked, clearly already done with the Hatter's shit today. He hadn't slept at all and the bird kept making lunges at him.

"Yes…" Hatter beamed, Fedora perched on his shoulder as they entered the mall, beelining for the Smear's Photo Center.

They would meet with disappointment though. Smear's, it seems, only took photographs of people. Pets were strictly prohibited.

"Guess we'll have to go to WonderPetsmart…" Hare groaned. He hated going into that store, it made him uncomfortable.

"How was I to know that Smear's wouldn't take photos of your pet unless they're a service animal!" Hatter shouted, clearly in an outrage. "And could you believe they didn't believe me when I said he -was- my service animal!"

"Yes… it's a wonder how they didn't believe that was your Visual Description parrot because you're visually impaired…" Hare rolled his eyes, hearing the parrot shout "fuck you" at the top of its voice.

They made their way across the mall, passing all sorts of fun shops that on any other day they would have meandered through to browse. Hare really wanted to stop at the bath shop to smell candles and maybe get another bath toy, but of course the damn parrot was messing up his plans.

They got to WonderPetsmart and stopped outside, seeing a large sign posted in the window for their photo services.

"Look, Hare! A 2-for-1 deal!" Hatter read, pointing out the sign. "Maybe we should have brought the Dormouse along! We could have gotten his portrait done for his graduation announcement cards."

"Yes, such a shame…" Hare rolled his eyes, his skin crawling as he looked into the shop. He liked pet sores on a good day, but some of them frankly weirded him out.

They made their way inside and straight to the photo counter, where they took a number and waited to be called. It seemed they were busy and they would have to wait a little. They browsed around, looking at the puppies in the window and all the pet collars and water dishes, when Hatter started shouting from a couple aisles over.

"Hare! Hare, come look at this!"

Hare made his way and stopped at the head of the aisle when he saw the Hatter, holding Fedora, who was wearing a little peter pan collar and an attached bow tie.

"I think this is the perfect look for his portrait!" Hatter beamed, standing among a dozen or more pet accessories that were thrown around the floor.

"You're… dressing up the parrot? That you're going to give away?" Hare arched an eyebrow, hands on his hips.

"Well…" he shrugged, adjusting the little bow tie on the proud parrot's chest. "He should look his best when he gets his picture taken. Wouldn't want the photo to not come out right."

Hare sighed and put a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes under his glasses as he heard a voice from the counter call their number.

"Oh, goody!" Hatter shouted, scrambling to get to the counter.

Thirty minutes later, they left WonderPetsmart, photos in hand.

"Did you really have to get your photo taken with the bird?" Hare asked, flipping through the prints they purchased. None of them were of just Fedora, all of them featured the Hatter as well. There was one of the parrot on his hat, one on his shoulder, one of Fedora whispering something in Hatters ear (who had a surprised look on his face), one of them pointing at each other and laughing…

"Come on, Hare! It didn't cost any extra!" Hatter shrugged, nabbing the photographs out of his friend's hands and looking at them himself. "I think they came out swell!"

Hare rolled his eyes and they made their way to Copy/Paste/Print. Another half an hour passed and they left the shop with 200 paper flyers printed.

"You still want to go to Movie Land Videos and pick up a tape for movie night?" Hatter asked, holding Hare's hand as they walked. They had made up a little while they were in the copy store, but that was probably because Fedora had to hide under Hatter's top hat again in order to get inside.

"Sure, that sounds like fun," Hare agreed. "Maybe we'll grab dinner from the Carpenter's Pizzeria. I think they have that Wednesday night special on large pizzas."

"Indeedy do!" Hatter smiled, swinging their arms as they made their way to the video store. They browsed for a while, Hare in the Romance section and Hatter in the Adventure section, before they both met up in Comedy.

"I think 'Three Amigos'..." Hatter nodded, feeling the bird shift under his hat as his head bobbed.

"More like three's a crowd…" Hare muttered under his breath, hearing a soft 'mama's boy' come from under Hatter's dome. He scrunched his face up and shot daggers at that top hat, wishing he could rip it off his head and strangle the things neck.

"Hmm…" Hatter put a finger to his chin and continued to scan the titles that were available. "You sure you don't just want to watch Casablanca?"

"Hatter, I've already told you, that film is too long. I don't think you have the attention span for it."

Hatter harrumphed and continued to scan. Why was it always so hard to pick a movie to rent? It's like there were too many options!

They eventually settled on 'Spaceballs' because it featured a good looking human, a goofy looking animal sidekick and some potty humor. Hare also grabbed 'The Philadelphia Story' because he just had to watch it one more time.

Leaving with their selections, they dropped by the Carpenter's Pizzeria and grabbed a large double pepperoni pizza (remembering to tape a flyer to their window) and made their way to the bus stop to go home.

--

"We might want to reheat this…" Hare said as they walked through the front door. "It's looking a little cold."

"Nothing to worry about," Hatter waved, placing Fedora in his cage as he spoke. "We can just nuke it."

Hare glared at the bird, who glared back at him, before dishing out the pizza and setting them in the microwave.

Hatter got the vcr set up in the living room and Hare brought in the food and snacks. He'd also managed to brew some tea while getting everything together.

"We all set?" Hare asked, setting down a bowl of popcorn and the plates of pizza.

"I think so…" Hatter muttered, squatted down in front of the television, slamming the side of it with his palm to get the screen to work.

"You should really get a new one," Hare said, taking a seat on the sofa. "That one is probably fifteen years old."

"It's never not worked before…" Hatter scrunched up his face and gave it one last good thump, before the screen flickered into life. "Eureka!"

"My what?" Hare asked, mouth full of pepperoni.

"Here we are…" Hatter did a little dance and shuffled his way beside Hare, letting him cuddle into him as they relaxed together. They didn't make it very far into the film when an unwanted visitor made its presence known.

"Asshole! Asshole!" Fedora squawked as he flew onto the coffee table, landing in the bowl of popcorn. "Mutha fukka!"

Hare cringed and Hatter looked at it with an amused look on his face.

"Maybe we should have taught it better language…" Hare groaned, watching it root around on the table, flipping over paper plates and shoving things onto the floor.

"It would have learned it from somewhere. Better from us than from a stranger."

Hare thought about this and nodded. "How true that is," he said, before cuddling into Hatter's side, pulling the blanket up around them a little closer. Hare rested his head on Hatter's shoulder and watched the screen, chuckling at the space antics, when he felt something peck his head hard.

"Hey!" he shouted, hand going to his thick head of hair, turning to see Fedora where his head had been. He looked down at his fingers, glad to not see any blood, but furious all the same.

"What's the problem?" Hatter asked, clueless as ever.

"That -thing- bit me!"

Hatter gasped. "Fedora! Did you bite Hare?"

"Cocksucker!" he announced, flapping his wings and then making a noise that could only be described as sounding like a car alarm. Hare covered his ears and scooted away a little, a panicked look on his face.

Hatter didn't move an inch. He just smacked his lips and waited for the noise to end before speaking. "Guess he did."

"Hatter, can we put him in the attic?"

"That would be awfully rude, Hare," Hatter protested. "He'll miss the rest of the film." Fedora nuzzled up against the Hatter's neck, hiding in his blonde curls, making little happy chirping sounds.

Hare pulled his lips to one side and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. For the rest of the night, every time Hare got too close to the Hatter, Fedora would make his car alarm sound until they were at least three feet apart. At the close of the evening, when they shared a goodnight kiss at the door, Fedora got so outraged that he swooped down and attacked Hare's head with his feet. He ran all the way home, sure that the bird from hell was following him.

--

"What are you doing, Mr Hare?" Alice asked, peeking around the tree to see Hare pinning a flyer to it.

It was the next morning and the Hare had already made good headway in putting up flyers. He had dropped by the Palace and the Tweedles and left a flyer with all of them, and had started littering the forest with them. It seemed like every tree had a flyer pinned to it.

"Oh, hi Alice," Hare smiled weakly. "I'm putting up flyers. Hatter found a parrot and we're trying to find its owner so we can give it back." Alice was offered a paper and took it, her green eyes scanning the black and white photo xeroxed onto it. The image was of the top of Hatter's head, eyes looking up at a medium sized parrot in a bow tie.

"What a cute parrot!" the girl smiled. "Looks like Hatter really likes him."

"Well, I hate it," Hare said uncharacteristically bluntly. "And it hates me."

"Oh, Mr Hare, I'm sure he doesn't hate you…" she tried to console him. "Nobody could hate you."

Hare looked at her with a pursed mouth and pulled his glove off, showing her his hand that was covered in bandages from beak bites.

"Oh…" Alice put a hand to her mouth, biting her lip a little. "Well, maybe if he just got to know you he'd like you."

"It called me a co-… not nice thing, Alice…" Hare stated. "It doesn't want to get to know me."

Alice grimaced and took the stack of flyers from the Hare, helping him put them up on trees and telephone poles as they walked.

After wandering around the Wonderland forest for half an hour, they arrived at the Hat house just in time for the afternoon tea party. Hare's bad mood had lightened up in the girl's company and he seemed more like his old jovial self. He was sure that the flyers were going to work! The parrot would soon be gone and his future was looking bright again!

"Hello, Mr Hatter!" Alice greeted him as Hare held the gate open for her.

Hatter was sitting crossed legged on the table, an eye patch covering his left eye and a large pirate hat on his head. Fedora was sitting on his shoulder in a miniature version of the same hat.

"Hello, Alice," he said as if nothing was amiss.

"That's… quite an interesting look you have going on there, Hatter…" Hare gaped.

"Was this a costume tea party?" Alice asked.

"No…" Hatter shook his head, again, like nothing was out of the ordinary. The large purple feather that stuck out of his hat swished at the movement. Fedora shouted "asshole!" at the Hare.

Alice and the Hare gasped as he covered her ears and the Hatter frowned at Fedora. "Fedora! There's a child present!"

Fedora cocked its head to the side and blinked, sneering at the Hare and saying "Buttface" at him.

The parrot seemed to like Alice enough. It allowed her to pet him and even sat on her shoulder for a little while.

"He seems nice to me…" she said with a smile, scratching it with her finger. The Hare sat at the far end of the table, arms crossed over his chest, with a flyswatter at the ready. "What do you think of him, Mr Hatter?"

"Oh, I think he's darrrrrrrling…" he said, slurring his 'r' in an attempt to sound like a pirate. Alice laughed and Hare looked at him blankly, still miffed. "You know what they say, Alice. A parrot is a pirate's best friend."

Getting up from his seat, the Hatter strode through the IN door of the Hat house and immediately through the OUT door, in a full pirate getup. The Rabbit would have thought the hat was gaudy, but the rest of his outfit would have been outright garish. It was as if Liberace and Elvis got together and decided to combine their forces to make the most outrageous pirate outfit ever. It had buckles and sparkles and fur and boots that went up just above Hatter's knees.

Hare's jaw dropped to the table. He wondered why he had never seen that outfit before and why he hadn't been allowed to try it on.

Hatter held his hand out and Fedora flew to him, landing with a proud squawk.

Shanty music started and Hatter strode to the table, strutting his stuff around like he had treasure spilling from his pockets, singing about the life of a pirate and how lonely it was. How his only friend was his parrot by his side! There were so many pirate puns it would have made the average Wonderlandian heave. But he worked it, Fedora adding in his own touches to the song every so often, shouting words like "Me bucko" and "Yo ho ho". This went on for about a minute before the Hatter walked back through the IN door and out the OUT door, returning in his regular purple suit with the mutton sleeves. He still had the hat and eye patch on. He walked calmly to his seat and sat down demurely, looking at Alice with a smile before saying

"I guess I like him okay."

After the initial shock of that music number, Hare shook his head and looked away from the Hatter, still pouting.

"Poo Poo head!" Fedora shouted.

--

The tea party continued and eventually Alice made her way home. The sun was going down when the candlestick phone started to ring from the center of the tea table. Hatter sauntered over to it, Fedora on his shoulder, and picked up the earpiece and the receiver.

"Hatter's hat making services: We've got a bonnet for your noggin, a chapeau for your nut and a helmet for your crown. This is the Mad Hatter speaking."

He was silent for a while, nodding and 'uh-huh'ing, Fedora pacing his shoulder. Hare watched the bird with contempt, sipping his tea angrily.

"Okay, well, thanks for calling…" Hatter said, nodding. "Y… Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Uh-huh. Okay... Bye Bye now."

He hung the phone up and took a seat on the table, grabbing another finger sandwich and nibbling on it.

Hare remained silent for a while, before the curiosity got to him. "Who was it?"

"It was Fedora's owner…" he said. "Or, rather, Sir Stenson's owner. They're coming to pick him up in the morning."

Hare spat his tea all down the front of him, not sure he was believing his ears. "W-what?"

Hatter looked up at him with a blank face. "Yup… looks like your flyer idea worked. Little guy is going home tomorrow."

Hare felt like the heavens opened up and light shone down upon him. He didn't think he'd be more happy if he had walked into a bedroom to see Hatter naked on a bed, covered in chocolate and strawberries.

"Really? You aren't shitting me?" Hare got so excited, he got to his feet and rushed over to Hatter, reaching out to him only for Fedora (or Sir Stenson) to car alarm.

"Nope," Hatter said coolly. "He's going back in the morning. You excited, little guy?"

Fedora fluffed up his chest and flapped his wings, as if that meant something. With slitted eyes, he glared at Hare, and muttered "Asshole."

--

The next morning couldn't come soon enough. The moment the sun was above the horizon, Hare was out of his bed, showered and on his way to the Hat house. The spring in his step that had vanished a couple days before was back! Nothing could bring him down!

He hummed to himself as he walked the pathways, thinking about all the snuggling and movie watching and smooching they'd be able to do once that damn parrot was out of their lives.

Doing a little jig, and a spin, he opened the gate and walked up to the tea table. Hatter was nowhere to be seen, so he must have still been asleep. Hare knocked, then waited… then used his key to get in.

He puttered around for a while in the house, noting that Hatter was still asleep and that damn parrot was in the bedroom with him. He made breakfast and cleaned the house a little as he waited for his friend to get up. He turned on the television and had a rerun of Oprah playing when the Hatter graced him with his presence. He was in his pajamas with a robe wrapped around himself and his top hat was on his head.

"This is a nice surprise…" Hatter said happily, taking a fresh cup of tea when it was offered. "You been waiting long?"

"No, not really," Hare shrugged, looking over the tall man's shoulder to see if it was safe to touch him. As if on cue, the bird swooped down and landed on his hat. Hare pouted.

"You've come to see Fedora off then?" Hatter asked, taking a seat and offering the parrot a crumpet.

"I thought you'd like the company," he replied, taking a seat as close as he dared to the him. "Do you know what time they're coming to get him?" He didn't want to seem too eager to see the bird gone… but he was ready for the thing to be gone.

"I think they said 10?" Hatter thought to himself. "I'm not really sure. I don't remember."

"Of course not…" Hare thought to himself, picking up a piece of toast and eating it.

There came a knock on the door and the pair sat up to attention. Hare got to his feet and answered it, seeing a man with round eyes, a little pencil mustache and a top hat on. "Hi, yes, I'm here for the parrot."

Hare turned and looked at the Hatter, who had gotten up from his seat, briskly walked into his bedroom and immediately back out again, looking like he had showered and taken great effort to dress himself. With long legs, he strode to the entryway, a welcoming smile on his face as he exited through the OUT door.

"Hi, welcome welcome! Would you like some tea?"

The man looked up at the Hatter (who was a foot taller than him) and gulped. "No… I want my parrot."

Hatter's happy demeanor faltered a little and his arms dropped to his sides. "Ah…" he muttered. "Well, here he is."

Lifting his top hat, the parrot was revealed, in his peter pan collared, bow tied glory.

"Sir Stenson!" the man exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Oh, thank you for taking good care of him!"

"Mutha Fucka!" Fedora shouted.

There was a crash as Hare dropped a full tray of tea and cups at the door and the man's face fell.

"Oh my…" the man muttered, putting a hand to his mouth.

"He, heh… might have learned a few things…" Hatter said with a nervous laugh. Why hadn't he thought this through?

The man gawked at the pair, put Sir Stenson in the cage he had under his arm, and scurried away without another word.

And, like that, the parrot was gone.

Hatter watched the man walk away, a little sad, wishing he'd had one more chance to say goodbye.

Hare's ears dropped, seeing that the Hatter was upset about losing Fedora. Sure, he didn't like him very much (at all really) but Hatter had grown attached. And he felt badly for him. Putting a hand out, he patted the tall man's shoulder. "It's okay, Hatter. We can get another pet."

Hatter scrunched up his face and sighed, remaining silent for a while. "Naw… that bird left feathers and shit all over my house."

He then strode away and into the Hat house to get some more crumpets, already almost completely forgetting about Fedora, the dirty talking parrot.

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Fools and Heroes

((Fucka u @crimsbie for WOUNDING ME HOW COULD YOU anyway this is pretty much a sequel of some kind to my previous drabble about these two- commissions are killing me i needed a break from plotmaps))

He’s my Sun He makes me Shine Like D i a m o n d s

She wound salt-white locks around her fingers, swearing that they twitched in response even though he slept soundly- the rumble in his chest ominous and welcoming all at once.

She tugged, a half smile on her face, and he hummed in a sleepy response, the arm around her waist tightening slightly and his chest expanding with a deep inhale and slow exhale- his eyes never opened.

She felt warmth blossom in her chest, felt herself soften in a way she rarely allowed.

The edges of his eyes were damp.

A thick lock of his mane, call it what you will that’s what it was, still looped around her finger as she cupped his cheek and let her thumb brush away an already dried trail that hid in the red lines on his face.

One day he’d remember to scrub all the paint off before collapsing into bed. She couldn’t help the bitter smile on her face as she acknowledged the reasons he often forgot- for lack of a better term.

“Always prepared to leap to defense; some gallant hero in a novel no one remembers.”, she whispers.

“The fool in a court no one bothers to acknowledge anymore.”

She froze as he answers- as his eyes ease open and show tired stormcloud grey and the crystalline starlight of the beginnings of a fresh wave of tears. He turns his head away, she makes a sound of annoyance and tugs gently at the saltwhite lock around her finger before her hand returns to its position against his cheek.

“Jiraiya.”

Silence.

“...Love, for all you insist I don’t swallow my pain- why do you make yourself do it?”

“...Because.”

“Because why, Jiraiya.”

“...Because I am... I’m nothing like you, Tsunade.”, he says, softly, gently- the tone of someone long since resigned to a self-fulfilling prophecy, “I’m a failure- I’m a fool who trusts the wrong people and jumps in at the wrong moment; I proclaim myself the hero of the story only to find out I should have stayed the comic relief, I-”

Tsunade’s face fell with each word he whispered, like a confession, like a plea. All this time he carried these words next to his heart like mulberry thorns and hollybush barbs and still... Still he wiped her tears and pleaded for Orochimaru to come back to them.

Still he taught and laughed and wrote and joked and allowed himself to be the butt of every joke if it meant those around them would get a respite from the suffering so often in the air.

She gives a shake, letting his arm fall away from her waist as she sits up- her nightclothes loose and comfortable and almost like tucked back angel wings in the moonlight as she tugs at that snowshade lock of wild hair coiled carefully as new wool around her finger.

He grunts, clearly annoyed at being caught upset. She narrows her eyes, and tugs harder.

“I’ll yank it off, old toad.”

“Rude of you, slug queen.”

They kept their faces serious for only a moment before dissolving into tired chuckles as he followed her silent direction.

She hummed happily, guiding him to sit up so that she could ease behind him- nudge him forward, settle her legs and release his hair in favor of wrapping her arms around him and easing him back.

He settles against her, ear near her heartbeat and feeling her naturally warm hand smooth over his temple and stroke down over his hair.

“You don’t need to pretend around me, Jiraiya.”, she murmurs to him; feeling his hand move up to clutch carefully at her arm, “I don’t care what others have said, I stopped listening to them fifty years ago, clearly.”

A weak chuckle, throaty and shaking.

“There’s no... judge, or jury, here. Just me, love.”, she continues, “It’s just me.”

She feels him press against her plush chest, nuzzling towards her heartbeat even as she feels drops of heat from the newly freed tears of grief and insecurity.

“And I’ve already found you more than worthy of golden glory, in spades.”, her voice is a soft hum as the moonlight spills over rumpled sheets and their worn figures, “I’ve found you more than worthy of glory and praise and love and all those things you think these supposed failures have the right to deny you.”

He hiccups.

The sound is muffled and nearly unnoticable, but she sees the way long legs are drawn up and the way his good arm moves down to wrap tightly around her. 

She hums low in her throat, gently rocking him to and fro as he clung to her like a lifeline- years upon years of strength crumbling for the first time and she gritted her teeth in a surge of anger- at herself, at others, at some lost to time; for not seeing it sooner.

She tightened her embrace, leaned back slightly in a wordless demand for him to move closer, to curl tighter and bury his face against her smooth neck like she’d done to him so many times over so many decades.

She was fierce as she was lovely, steel wrapped within silk; gold in flake, mercury in the raw.

Beautiful and deadly for years upon years and tonight she left it at the door for the sake of a man she hadn’t realized she wanted to stay until he was almost forever gone.

“Sssssh, love...”, she murmured as he grieved silently.

“I’m here for you.”, she whispered, knowing those stormcloud eyes had stagnated into a mourning fog.

“Let the world turn without you tonight- I’ll keep you safe.”

His eyes drifted closed, damp and swollen, as he pressed against her so tight they almost blended together.

They fell back asleep, coiled together like mourning glory vines over an unmarked grave; her fingers tangled in a thick white mane and his head on her chest as the red lines beneath his eyes were dimmed and broken apart by dried tear tracks.

[venti-grande-fandom]

'I would have been ok with Bucky getting the shield as well to be fair, but thats probably because I dont pit Sam and Bucky against each other the way fandom does.' so you think Bucky should have gotten the shield?

Did you not read what i wrote above what you quoted?

When I say I would have been ok with Bucky getting the shield I simply meant that im not that much invested in this stuff anymore.However, I don’t even have to think twice when i say this : Sam was the best choice.

Let me clear this right up and Im only talking about the MCU here: I do find Sam the ideal candidate to take up the shield. He is for all intents and purposes more stable, less baggage and has the army background (recent). And he is ‘CAP’ enough to know which rules can and should be broken. Best choice.

Bucky may or may not have healed enough(like who even knows…these folks retcon their own movies and shows all the time to suit the purpose of whatever billion dollar crap they are writing at the moment). Taking on the shield is a whole fucka responsibility.

When I say I dont pit them against each other , I mean it. I enjoy them ,as much as I can without entering either of their fandoms, for exactly who they are as i see onscreen. Bucky is tortured and broody. Sam is snarky and fun. Both have a core of goodness to them.

You know the only issue is, MCU Bucky was never really allowed to be more then Steve’s manpain. I know I’ll get hate for it, but its true. In the movies, Bucky exists for Steve’s manpain. So we all know the pre hydra bucky was supposedly charming and funny. But even in that one scene with the girls, we never got ‘Bucky’ from Bucky’s pov .We got him from Steve’s. He was never really allowed a strong enough personality. He reacted to Steve and his  story beats and that’s it. And the gaps were filled in with so much fanon, people literally lost sight of what was actually there on the screen. Civil war was such a fucking mistake. If they abso wanted it to happen ,they should ahve pushed it to after Cap 3 but we all know the BvS announcement had them in a tizzy to upstage DC by any means. Cap 3 is where we would have hopefully gotten more with the whole Cap Fam. But we didnt.  IW weirdly is where Bucky starts to actually become a bit more well rounded.

Sam ,had the benefit of being his own person from the start. Like i said i haven’t been into either of their fandoms, but imho Sam doesn’t need pages and pages of meta explaining how he thinks, what he thinks, how he feels. Because he comes out on screen with a more fully formed personality.

To end it all though, Sam is ,mcu narrative wise, the best choice for the shield  and personally I enjoy Bucky as the winter soldier. It’s just more interesting to me.