#because of all the time she spent where so much of her world was defined by Noises

[ru5t]

scale of 1 to 10 how unsettled would your character be if Tech recognized them by footstep and/or another movement sound of theirs?

[panxramic]

Taking Tallulah’s hair color change and inserting as much lore as I can into it. It’s just like when she got the haircut, a feeling of brand new, of moving on and changing. I love it sm

This new island has always been a new step for her, a way for her to move on. She’s left behind old memories and pictures, forgotten letters and homes. She’s finally found herself in a family, a family she’s been dreaming and hoping of. It’s not perfect, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but it’s HERS, this is her family. She has an older brother she’d do anything for and two dads that love her endlessly. What else could she want?

So she changes her clothes, that’s the first thing she did a while ago. She matches q!Phil’s every step. And she finds things for herself.. Her mushroom beanie is one of the first things she ever got that truly felt like her own. She was made to reflect someone else, but THIS, this is her own. This is something she liked and she wanted, not something the federation threw upon her. She finds a liking to the color purple, and with that she weaves her own clothes to match q!Phil’s. It’s a mix of the person she loves and herself. Because truly who was the person that raised her? The person that has influenced her her entire life and has helped shape who she would become? It’s always been q!Phil. And that’s reflected in her clothes.

And now on this new island she also has a new dad. q!Missa. Who didn’t hesitate to take her in and call her his own. He’s been lovely, and with him she’s nurtured that side of her that’s more artistic and more creative. She also gets to tangle more into her culture and speak Spanish more. Her features match his. They have similar noses and eyes, the same moles on their cheeks. But the one thing that always stood out about Tallulah in the family has been her hair.

Tallulah’s hair has always been brown for as long as she can remember. It's been the one feature that doesn’t quite fit with the rest of the family. qPhil and Chayanne have blonde hair, qMissa has black hair. And sometimes Chayanne’s hair also reflects that of q!Missa’s.

Tallulah’s brown hair is the final tie to her past. It’s the one thing that makes her stand out, that shows the world she was destined for somebody else. It haunts her. So… as the final piece of the puzzle… it goes from brown to black.

Her hair is that final tether, and she was ready as ever to let it go, to let go of her past and let go of that pain. She’s moving on. Her hair is as black as qMissa’s, it’s as dark as the night sky. It matches every wither rose they come across. She’s part of the death family, one look at her and you can tell where she belongs.

And she does, for the first time in her life she feels like she belongs.

It’s scary, it is. Her brown hair has been such a huge defining feature of hers for so long. The black hair is a drastic change. What is everyone else gonna say? What are they gonna think? Is it going to look good at all? Who knows, we’ll see, but she’s never been so sure of herself.

This is who Tallulah is. This is who she has become. A person weaved and influenced by those around her, the people she’s spent time with. She’s taken their details and made them her own, she’s become her own person now. No longer is she the image of someone who left her to pick up the pieces no. She’s the image of those who helped her back up, of those who cared for her and watched her grow up to become the very person we see in front of our eyes.

She’s Tallulah. She likes the color purple and she loves animals. She wants to build a sanctuary for birds. She loves her brother Chayanne and she wears her heart on her sleeve. She has black hair and a purple beanie. And she’s a part of death family.

[kataraslove]

how do you feel about people saying Katara post the show was just a “house wife” and a “baby maker”? I personally think it’s super stupid and fucked up…while I do understand the criticisms for the comics ESPECIALLY the promise. TLOK criticisms for her character are pretty damn dumb to me…honestly the only thing I can get is the critical for her not being at Jinoras ceremony.

something that the original show does really well is present the dichotomy of katara; she's hot-headed, stubborn, determined, argumentative, protective, a fighter and a warrior. at the same time, however, she's presented as compassionate, kind, caring, nurturing, a healer. atla does an incredible job to avoid caging katara into one facet, unlike other media that tend to restrict their female characters who present feminine personalities into the group's resident healer/mother teresa figure. fighting and healing are core tenets of her identity. she uses both of these aspects of her identity to win the war, to save the lives of her friends and family, and most importantly, connect to and honour her decimated culture.

i don't think tlok makes an attempt to capture the fighter aspect of her identify, hence where the argument that "she was reduced to a healer" comes from. yes, she's incredibly old. yes, she deserves to rest after a lifetime of fighting. however, you could make the argument that toph and zuko are still in active combat mode during their old years. it's an all or nothing scenario; either everyone in the remaining gaang deserves a fight scene or no one gets one. so i can see where that criticism stems from. however, much of the criticism also stems from the fandom's refusal to correlate power with healing; to see how being a healer is an honour in it's own right, especially in the atla world where it's the equivalent to being a doctor (and katara would be the most renowned doctor there is).

katara does not deserve a shoe-horned fight scene where she's going to be tossed down in the snow five seconds later (like zuko) or where she's going to complain about her back problems (like toph). i can go on and on about how toph’s depiction in tlok is another form of sexist writing, but i think this post highlights it perfectly well and captures everything that i wanted to say.

if it were up to me to write tlok katara, i would:

have spent more time exploring her role in the white lotus. how much input did she have on korra’s training during the south, because i doubt caging her up until she’s 17 and delaying her spiritual journey is something that katara necessarily would have agreed with. i imagine that she would have (should have, at least) a lot of sway in the decisions surrounding korra as a world leader and legendary hero [per avatar legends]. if not that, even as korra’s waterbending master, the companion and spouse of the previous avatar, and the mother of the only airbending master in the world, would be enough to earn her decision-making title.

actually have her take part in the council of elders, especially during the civil war in book 2. no bryan konientzko, a tumblr post explaining that you can see her on the council of elders while your show is airing isn’t enough. we should have gotten katara’s perspective on the independence war currently happening with her tribe. particularly, it would have been an excellent opportunity showcasing her leadership abilities that we saw in imprisoned and the painted lady, encouraging her tribe to fight for their justice and independence.

expand upon her relationships with her children and grandchildren. yes, the legend of korra isn’t about katara or any of the former gaang members. but jinora, tenzin, kya, and bumi are all important characters that should be defined by their respective relationships with katara, much like how they’re defined by their relationships with aang. bryan and mike shy away from featuring former members of the gaang to avoid nostalgia bait, but there comes a point when deliberately avoiding the presence that your original characters play on their successors ends up hindering the success of your show. i think katara should be a critical character in the subplot between her and aang’s children, providing her perspectives on her husband’s parenting and relationships with their children.

have her actually leave the southern water tribe. if toph can leave the swamp to stop kuvira, and zuko can leave the fire nation to stop the red lotus, then why was katara constantly portrayed in the southern water tribe? there was an excellent opportunity to have her attend her granddaughter’s air mastering ceremony. i actually disagree with claims that the writers were avoiding having katara and zuko in the same scene specifically because of zutara; i think they didn’t want any of the former gaang in the same place. hence why we don’t ever have zuko and toph meet, or katara and toph (i know toph mentions katara by name, but i truly believe that that was a throwaway line serving as a substitute to appease the audience’s thirst for old gaang interaction. kind of like a, “here you go!! toph mentions her. now shut the fuck up.”)

give her a statue representing her bravery, courage, and determination. this one’s self-explanatory.

she didn’t need to be present at the bloodbending trial if the focus was for the avatar to take away yakone’s bending (and her being a bloodbender, i mean.. there’s NO WAY for anyone else to suspend yakone if she’s there). but i do believe the show should have mentioned something about katara not being able to there last-minute, due to tensions in the south or whatever, and how they cannot delay yakone’s trial even by one week.

i disagree with criticisms that katara became a “baby-making machine” for the air nomads. there’s no substantial support that katara and aang had children solely to repopulate the air nomads. there’s contrary evidence, in fact:

tenzin was the only airbender. if katara’s purpose was to serve simply as a baby maker, aang would have tried to have more children. from a writing standpoint, i think the narrative would have gone out of its way to portray kataang’s family as only having airbenders, or having more airbenders than non-benders or waterbenders.

we would have seen a lot more children in a relatively short time period. bumi, kya, and tenzin have sporadic age gaps, indicating that their conception wasn’t really at an urgent pace, but something that katara and aang took their time with, due to life events and circumstances.

as for whether the show turned katara into a “baby-maker,” by highlighting her family relations over her career prospects, i disagree. i don’t think we’re shown anything about katara in the legend of korra; i think we’re presented with limited information about her on all aspects. from a family perspective, all we know is that she had three children with aang. the narrative goes one step further to even separate her from the family conflict, such that the cloudbabies do not pull her into their grievances with their father and childhoods. kya and bumi’s overall arcs are about embracing their father’s legacy, while tenzin’s arc is about moving away from his shadow. from a career perspective, we know that katara at some point banned bloodbending, became one of the best waterbenders and the greatest healer in the world, then trained korra. in fact, katara’s relationship that is given the most narrative weight is her relationship with korra. i can understand if people’s criticisms are her being reduced to korra’s mentor and a healer, but i will not be able to understand the baby-maker or housewife claims simply because there is no proof.

if we’re examining tlok katara, i think there are many criticisms to be held, many missed opportunities and abandoned threads, but i do not agree with fandom extremes that she was ever presented as a “baby-making housewife turned healer.” i disagree with claims that tlok emphasized katara’s legacy as only having children (particularly her one airbender child). especially because tlok goes out of its way to separate her role in her children’s life, instead emphasizing her role in korra’s life. narratively, we get more exploration of toph’s storyline with her children than we get with katara.

as for the shitty gene yang comics that mischaracterizes just about every member, even momo and appa, i’ve got much to say on that. i think the only comic worth exploring is north and south, and katara’s portrayal in that. rather, there’s a particular criticism of katara’s portrayal in north and south that i want to rebut.

[yellow-dejavu]

It was unexpected for me that Claudia, Jonas, Noah and Elisabeth ended up being the post-apocalypse group, but the four of them fit so well together.

They don't really had screentime together, but I can't stop thinking about the apocalypse family and how much they can relate to each other.

Each one of them lost their naivety when they discovered time travel and learned a little more about the reality of their world, but they lost their innocence when they experienced the reality of their dads death.

Each member of the group carries the guilt for the death of their dads.

Noah literally killed his dad, influenced by sic mundus.

Claudia tried to prevent her dad's death and accidentally caused it.

Jonas was led to believe that he could prevent his dad's suicide when in fact he was the trigger.

Elisabeth was not to blame for her dad dying, but she probably felt guilty that he died trying to protect her.

They were completely broken, and the person who came to comfort them and give them hope was a member of the apocalypse family.

After Bartosz died, Noah told his younger self that he knew how it felt and that the pain of what he had done would pass. Noah knew that wasn't true. It would be a pain he would never forget. Since he was the one who had defined the irony of his dad's fate, it had only become more painful.

Claudia met Jonas for the first time after what happened with Egon, and she realized that she couldn't change things. Jonas appearead and let her know that they could change things. This happened after Jonas had spent a year traveling with an older version of Claudia.

Jonas met Claudia for the first time when he realized that he wasn't there to stop his dad and that his attempt to save him had failed again. At that moment, Claudia came and told Jonas that he could save them all. So Jonas goes to spend a year with Claudia learning about time travel.

After Peter dies, Elisabeth only knows of a place somewhere in the woods where Noah stays, and Noah only knows that he would protect her. In the cave, they find the passage, and Noah tells Elisabeth about paradise. Their connection gave them hope. Even when Noah felt hopeless himself, he only wanted to give Elisabeth hope.

They just tried to give them some comfort. In one of their darkest moments, they were there for each other and tried to never give up hope.

Also everything that losing their moms represented for them.

Silja died when Noah was very young and apparently Bartosz became distant.

When Doris left, Egon started to drink. It was probably at that moment that his relationship with Claudia became colder.

Their relationships with their dads deteriorated when they lost their moms. A disagreement resulted in the death of their dads. Noah and Claudia eventually saw their dads again, but it was a younger version of their dads who didn't yet recognize that version of them as their kid.

I think it is similar with Elisabeth and Jonas.

The first thing Jonas did when he got home was look for his mom, and he couldn't find Hannah. He probably thought he couldn't save his mom just like he couldn't save his dad.

Peter and Elisabeth were still trying to find Franziska and Charlotte, and after months she just thought they were dead. When her father died, I don't think there was any hope of seeing her mother again.

For years, Jonas and Elisabeth probably assumed that their moms had died in the apocalypse. It was unexpected the way they were reunited with their moms, and the revelations that came from it.

This group is so interesting to me because they experienced many years of friendship and then all that was left was betrayal. Although I will never forget all those years of friendship that I never saw.

[cottoncandyswisherz]

back to black.

cheater!matt x sidechick!reader

warnings: affair, pining, heartbreak

-

y/n watched matt from across the crowded cafeteria. she always did. watch, that is. she watched him smile in hailey's face. she read his lips as he kissed her and said he loves her. she watched hailey run her fingers through his hair and say she loves him to. 

it's not like y/n was unpopular, or ugly, or bullied or anything like that. she was great, if she did say so herself. but she wasn't hailey. 

hailey was a cheerleader, y/n was a majorette dancer. hailey was all legs and defined features, y/n was short and round. hailey was a c-average student, y/n was clawing her way to scholarship, always on honor roll. 

and don't get it confused, y/n was very confident. she walked around with her head high and did everything she had to do. she wasn't jealous of hailey. she didn't wanna be hailey. she wanted matt to love her the way he loved hailey. 

hailey got the public gifts, she got to talk to matt outside of the confines of her bedroom. she got to meet matt's family, and go to vermont with them.

no one knew that matt spent the weekends at y/n's house because her parents were never home. no on knew that the necklace she wore was a gift from him. no one knew that the night matt took hailey to prom, he crept up y/n's stairs and took her to ecstasy. 

and originally it was fun. like a game. a hook-up in the locker room or a stolen glance during lacrosse practice. she used to love their situationship. 

but it got old quickly. she wanted all of him, not a piece. would she ever tell him that? fuck no. she took what she could get. she savored the sex, etched each random conversation into her brain. she cherished those glorious two days a week where he wasn't 1/2 of sommervilles it couple, he was just matt. her matt. 

but sunday night, when he'd hug her goodbye and tell her he didn't wanna go but left anyway, she sat in her bathtub, with the shower raining on her and her knees pulled to her chest. and she sobbed so hard that her chest would start to hurt. a piece of her died every time he left her. 

she thought it would be easier to deal with if he was an asshole. if he was disrespectful, or obnoxious. this whole thing would be painless if it was strictly physical. but it wasn't. she loved him. and she liked to think that he at least liked her. she liked to think that she meant as much to him, as he did to her. 

and the signs said he did, because when he was nervous, he twirled the ring that she gave him. when he had a game, he always gave her a ticket and let her write notes on his fingers. his lock screen on his phone was his and her eye colors as planets.

she knew he felt something because he carried pieces of her with him everywhere. 

but then he would contradict everything and say he couldn't do it anymore. he'd tell her that he had to end it, and she'd say okay. she would never beg him to stay. she wouldn't debase herself that much. so she told him that if he wanted to leave, then he should leave. and he would leave. and she'd spend the whole week in shambles. only for him to come back the next weekend, at her door like a lost puppy, apologizing and saying he couldn't live without her. 

she knew this was wrong. she knew it was pathetic and slightly toxic. but she couldn't stop it if she wanted to. 

she loved matt. he made her feel less alone in the world. so if this type of love was the only love she could get, then that's just what it was going to have to be. 

-

niyah speaks 🤍 this is depressing because i'm depressed.

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @jnkvivi @sturnsslut @koilaniazul @thisisntmattsturniolo @nyktoxs-lover @l0akkzz @zainabthescientist @chaossturns

[vaxieth]

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

[greensaplinggrace]

🔥 Aleksander's mommy issues and if that plays a role in his relationships

I will say until I die that aleksander's relationships with others are defined by his relationship with immortality and thus with his mother - who not only taught him everything about it, but who has also been the only consistent presence in his life for over four hundred years. this is the woman that developed an emotionally codependent and incestuous relationship with him as well as groomed him into the type of man she would wish to have a partnership with, which further defines the ways he views himself, the world, other people, and his connections to them.

all of this correlates to his many relationships, but especially his romantic one with alina. he mirrors his traumas with his mother and therefore with eternity in his dynamic with her. he is simultaneously the perpetrator and the victim. where he spent hundreds of years forgiving his mother for her abuse of him because the alternative is eternal loneliness, he expects of alina the same level of forgiveness for his actions based on that same latent despair - because he was taught at a fundamental age that a dichotomy exists in the universe, and the only way to find anything good at all - safety or happiness or connection - is to center all needs around the threat of inevitable punishment. not punishment in any physical sense, but punishment at a transcendental level.

the reason baghra did this was to groom him. the reason any parent does this (and it is especially prevalent with religion and cults) is to control their children and guide them toward the ideal path (which is always the path they themselves are on).

like most abusive relationships, baghra relies on cult tactics to develop a dynamic with her son that erodes all boundaries and erases any attempt at creating them further down the line - effectively taking ownership of his personhood and growth. she redefines his emotional associations to link them all to herself, and she even takes possession of his body in a variety of ways, until she has molded the perfect partner. one who shares all of her values and so will never leave her side - and who is entirely and completely isolated through both a lack of consistently stable connections and the lack of ability to create them.

baghra has always, after all, had her control threatened most by two things when it comes to her son: his idealism - which drives his moral compass away from her - and his desire for other connections. which means that to truly have him as a partner, she must take control of these narratives herself. so, she must destroy his ability to connect, and she must mold his morals to fit alongside her own. meaning constant and consistent contact with him and every part of his life.

similarly, we see even this reflected in aleksander's dynamic with alina. aleksander attempts to relate to her in the only way he knows how: by exerting control and by guiding her down the path he is on - by claiming to know what is best for her. in the exact same way baghra has continually tried to repossess him throughout the years by leading him down the 'best path for him' - one that she defines as redemption through inaction. one that she knows could allow her to control him again through reestablishing his existential relationship with punishment, loss, loneliness, and fear.

she seeks to do this because she needs him walking beside her again, easily pliable. because while time has furthered him from her, she is at least still in his life holding some of the reins, but nothing has threatened her grasp on her son as much as another prospective partner. one that won't harm him the way she has and one that could easily reveal exactly how much of himself he has lost to his mother in her claims about living eternally. one that could prove to be a real, stable relationship for him - unraveling all of the threads she so carefully wound.

like baghra did with him, aleksander fosters a codependent relationship with alina, because he was taught that such a relationship is the only way to survive immortality (and that this is how relationships work at all). he desires alina to be his immortal companion, in the same way his mother desired him, because he longs - probably without realizing - for a relationship that is not defined by constant abuse. but he has none of the resources to break free of the cycle of abuse, because he cannot even conceptualize that the things baghra taught him are abusive.

everything baghra taught him, he repeats to alina. every lesson about immortality, he repeats to alina. the possessiveness which defines his relationship with his mother - the ways she controls his interactions with others and isolates him completely - this he mirrors also with alina. because the only framework he possesses for a long-lasting connection is his relationship with his mother, and he is so starved for real connection that he craves it.

he craves it because baghra made him crave it. because she starved him of affection and made him reliant upon her as his sole provider for it. then she destroyed any other source he might find. she did this because she wanted to ensure he would always come back to her and forgive her. additionally, they are in the position of being entirely unique, which only further provides another tool for abuse. it is so so easy to neatly isolate someone when they are already othered completely and have no reliable means of long-term connection but you. it is so so easy to starve someone and lead them to believe they are gorging themselves when there is no other source of sustenance.

but then comes alina. who is also immortal. and who is quite capable of not only walking down aleksander's path, but having aleksander walk down hers. and alina will give aleksander the sustenance he needs. alina will give a long-lasting relationship with real happiness and affection and touch and love. alina will make him realize that the ways he tries to fulfill his cravings - the ways baghra taught him - are wrong.

which brings the situation to the plot.

alina's moral conflict is falsely dichotomized into two things:

a) kill the 'monster' and believe the true social issues that caused it can be solved through inaction.

or b) give in to the latent 'evil' that comes with being grisha, reveling in power, greed, and selfishness.

baghra as the author's mouthpiece supports the former, which means alina's 'enlightenment' must eventually follow this path - for the true moral message to be conveyed. and this path leads her away from the darkling. thus, it is inevitable within such a narrative that she would have to do so.

however, contextually, baghra's actions when putting alina on this path are those of an abuser losing control of their victim. while she operates within a narrative role, she acts in a way that is easily identifiable. the very specific way in which baghra confronts aleksander's relationships with others in both the books and the show (especially his relationship with alina) is that of someone who wishes to remove outside influences from the perfectly tailored environment of their victim. if alina begins to trust aleksander and start a relationship with him, then this environment will be disrupted - possibly destroyed - and he will be removed from baghra's influence forever. baghra, as an eternally lonely person, cannot let this happen.

but she has a new way of living, now. one that her son rejects, because he is finally trying to become his own person and create his own path. so, she molds alina into exactly what she is and ties alina to her completely, effectively ruining her son's chances for any connection outside of her ever again. not only that, but she severs any future attempts at connection between them by taking control of the narrative about aleksander. meaning alina will defer to baghra about him, about morals, about what paths to walk and what actions to take. she will defer to her about anything that leads in aleksander's direction, because she must 1) do so for narrative purposes (and baghra is first and foremost the narrative compass) and 2) reject all associations with his character completely.

so aleksander is now trapped in an abusive cycle with both women, and the options are either alina, who is not only his abuser’s mouthpiece, but someone who has been cut off from any attempt at a connection with him completely. or his mother, who is in many ways relying on alina's treatment of him to drive him back into her arms.

aleksander, who cannot conceivably understand why he longs for another partner, must focus on alina. but as someone who was brutally stripped of any ability to connect healthily, he can only communicate with her one way - through possession, control, fear, and manipulation. and because she now erects the same barriers baghra does and walks the same path as her- well. the pattern of abuse continues.

so yeah. I think he mimics his relationship with baghra in his other relationships. he attempts to connect in the only ways he knows how, and when he tries to move outside of the box and connect in his own way, baghra intervenes. he is a centuries old abuse victim that will literally never gain the resources or outside connections required to develop healthy relationships. and sab is lauded as a narrative on the side of abuse survivors. lmfao.

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)

[morganbritton132]

Idk if you’ve mentioned it before but what is everyone in the Party’s jobs?? We already know Erica is a kickass politician and Lucas is the family embarrassment doctor but what does everyone else do besides bug Steve lol?

Also is Dustin still with Susie or did that ship sail away in the EMTTS?? <333

So, fun fact about me: I am not a big fan of future AUs. I don’t particularly like reading them and I’ve never written one prior to the Tiktok Saga. I think the problem I have with them is that it’s really hard to determine where a character should be thirty-odd years down the road. How or why a one-off post about Eddie being bad with technology turned into all this, I do not know.

I don’t have everybody’s job picked out because I don’t really think about it until it’s relevant to the story, but luckily, I do spend way too much time thinking about this AU so I have few that haven’t been mentioned.

The ones that have been mentioned: Steve is a teacher, Eddie’s a musician, Nancy’s a journalist, Jonathan’s a photographer, Lucas is a doctor, and Erica is a senator.

I think Argyle owns a very successful marijuana dispensary in California where him and Jonathan live and it gives him the freedom to travel with Jonathan when he goes out of town for business. Argyle just has the vibe that should not be working a nine-to-five. Also, I think that Argyle as an old man stoner with long completely gray hair is just so cool.

Robin is also a teacher, but she teaches at a university in the linguistics department. She spoke four languages when she joined the party, she now speaks nine. She’s written a book. She has a kickass rating on Rate My Professor. She’s likely the front runner to take over the department once the current dean retires next year.

I really like the idea of Max becoming a physical therapist. She had a long road to recovery after Venca and spent over a year in physical therapy just learning how to walk again. She knows what it’s like. She knows when and how hard to push her patients, and she’s good at the job. This also makes Max a doctor so Erica includes Max when she says that Lucas is the worst Sinclair.

I’m less defined on what kind of careers that Will, Mike, and El have. I just haven’t found a job that I’m like, yes, that makes perfect sense for that character. I do think that Will has a career where he can be creative and that he’s successful, I just haven’t narrowed it down to what exactly he does.

Mike and El, on the other hand, I have no idea. I mentioned before that Mike had a band that opened up for Eddie on CC’s first national tour and I imagine that he did one summer or during his gap year before college (if he went to college). El, I like to think, travels a lot and has got to see the world and be free of the responsibility of saving the world. But those two, I think, are tough to pin down to a specific career.

Now, for Dustin.

Dustin has had a very successful career as a researcher and his career has taken him all over the world. Now what exactly does he research? That’s up to you. This man is a scientist and that’s all Steve and Eddie can tell you about Dustin’s job because it’s just over of their heads. He loves it and that’s all they need to know.

Dustin and Suzie are currently not together. They have dated off and on since they’ve known each other and have always split on good terms. It has just always been the wrong time for them because when they’re together, they’re great. They hit it off and decide to start dating again, and then they just get busy. They’re both top of their field and work crazy long hours all over the world, and the cost of that is their relationship.

I think they both kinda know that one day, they’ll meet up at the right time, but for now, they’re good friends and they date other people. Steve thinks that they’re soulmates and he’ll randomly give Dustin an update that Suzie is single again. Dustin is always like, “How do you know that?”

“We’re friends on Facebook.”

[phantom-thieves-official]

Do you ever think about how Shinji and Akinari are the moon and sun social links, respectively. How the sun and moon are typically considered opposites (in general culture if not in tarot).

Do you ever think about how they're both dying - one willingly, as a result of his own actions; and one unwillingly, a victim of circumstance. How Akinari spends the better part of his social link lamenting his lot in life and hating his body; angry and searching for reason in his illness. Desperate to know why him, why this body, why is this all happening? While Shinjiro knowingly takes the suppressants that are destroying his body and slowly killing him; thinking this is how it should be, this is right. He's dying because he chose to be; he's dying because he wants it that way. One dying and hating the fate he's been dealt, wondering why it had to be him of all the unlucky people in the world. And one dying because he decided he should, because he chose to; he decided that of all the people on the planet that it should be him. 'Why does it have to be me?' vs 'Of course, it should be me.'

Do you ever think about how Akinari finally decides that the meaning of his life depends on what he does with it - his legacy is his story, which he spent his final months working on. And Shinji's decided his life carries meaning only with his death - he's wasting the time until it's over, isolating himself and hanging out behind the station alone. And then when he does die, it's to save Ken. He wronged Ken so badly, the only way to make it right is to die. The ultimate in self-sacrifice as repentance. Akinari dies having accepted his fate and contented with his life; Shinji dies still full of so much guilt and regret. Akinari's life is, for him, defined by what he did while he was alive. How he spent those precious moments. Shinji's is defined by what he does when he dies - how can he ever right the mistakes he's made; how can he ever be absolved of his sins in any other way?

Do you ever think about how Shinji is wrong? About how his inaction, wasting away until it's all over, taking the pills that are slowly killing him - none of it fixes anything. Do you ever think about how Ken's actually upset to learn Shinji is dying; he's upset that no matter what he does, Shinji would die anyways. Do you ever think about how it's not his inaction and his death that changes Ken, but it's the one action Shinji did finally take - protecting Ken from Takaya. If Shinji had sat around and wasted away until his body gave out, it wouldn't have done anything. He thinks it's repentance but it's not. He could have died any other way and Ken wouldn't have been changed. And after years of inaction and waiting for it to finally end, Shinji finally, finally took an action - he saved Ken from Takaya - and that's what changed Ken? Not Shinji's death, but his desire to protect Ken. Proven in portable, where Ken still undergoes his evolution even if Shinji doesn't die. He never had to die to repent. He just couldn't conceptualize such an idea.

How Shinji was so off base, but Akinari eventually figured it out. How even in their final moments, they remained opposites - Shinji dies never realizing the truth of the matter; never realizing his life and his actions mean more and fix more than his death ever could, while Akinari passes away knowing his life was made by how he spent it. Shinji thought he knew what his life's meaning was, but he was wrong. Akinari died knowing for sure he was right about his. Only one of them ever gets to really figure it out.

Do you ever think about how they're similar, too? How they both leave behind someone who goes on to live for them? How Akinari's mother says she's going to travel, and eat delicious foods, and do all the things her son couldn't do, and take those experiences with her to tell him about when they meet again. How Ken goes on to fight Nyx; to eliminate the Dark Hour; for Shinji. How Ken says 'I'm fighting for him, now, too."

The sun and the moon, alike and yet opposites in so many ways. Do you ever think about it.

[songmingisthighs]

Genesis

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lxxx - shut up

fashion mogul!mingi × reader

buy me coffee ?

!! A T T E N T I O N !!

things aren't always what it seems but when even the truth is left unheard, what can people do? one musn't lie but what if the lie is more accepted than the truth? the scariest thing in this world isn't monsters or demons. it's people with no agenda and time to waste.

"I shouldn't have eaten that much," Mingi groaned, face-planting on his bed dramatically, making you laugh at his silliness. "I told you but you wouldn't listen, now just suffer in silence," you teased.

You both had spent the whole day together, shopping and clearing out his room. Or at least he did because he refused to let you lift anything heavier than the t-shirt he had hanging on his work chair. Of course, you complained about not being able to help but of course, Mingi wouldn't budge whatsoever. And he knew you'd get tired from complaining alone so he let you ranted your whole heart out before you told him that you needed to sit down.

The whole day, it felt like you two were really a couple from the way he was talking to you and telling things about bean to literally every person you both interacted with. It didn't help that a clerk tried flirting with him and called you his sister and that he was welcoming his niece or nephew. Luckily, Mingi immediately corrected her in his happy-go-lucky manner, completely oblivious that she was trying to flirt with him. It made you feel somewhat special that you had managed to put Mingi in a situation where he was so happy that reality or even awareness of reality could be skewed.

"I told you that much food would be bad but you refuse to hear me out," you rolled your eyes playfully which earned you a deadpanned look from Mingi. "You need to stop being right," he groaned, rolling his body over without realizing that he made himself closer to you. "Excuse me, I need you to elaborate, what was I right about?" You didn't even bother to suppress your cocky smirk as you turned your position slightly to face Mingi. Mingi copied you and settled himself lower to face your stomach, "Bean? Baby, are you there? Your mom's being a meanie to your daddy," he pouted as he sent a glare at you.

"You're ridiculous," you snickered but Mingi didn't shift his attention from bean and instead, his hands craddled your stomach and he spoke in a tone suitable for babies, "You're gonna come out all healthy and ready to defend daddy against mommy over stuff like what to watch during movie nights or what to eat for dinner," "Or if I'm babysitting you while your dad goes on dates because his might or might not want kids on dates," you muttered before you could stop yourself.

That got Mingi's attention back to you because he snapped his head up whilst blinking confusedly, "What?" He definitely heard you clearly.

Embarrassed, you shrugged your shoulders and waved your hands, trying to change the subject but Mingi pushed himself to be level with you and took your hand in his. "No, what did you mean by me going on dates?" Words were spoken but you could only focus on the way his hand was big and warm, "(y/n)?" He ducked his eyes slightly to meet your avoiding ones, "I just need you to elaborate, (y/n), I'm not judging at all. You can tell me anything."

You wanted to tell him that Yunho's words got to you and that maybe it would be better for you two to define your relationship considering how touchy-feely, close, and romantic-adjacent you both have been, you had to prepare for whatever might happen in the future so boundaries needed to be set and expectations should be altered. Now, how the hell can you address the thought without sounding like an insecure lover? You were neither insecure nor a lover so you should do your best to not sound like a loser. Maybe Tomorrow By Together had a point when they said loser=lover.

"Can you stop looking at me like that?" You groaned, dropping your head back in frustration only to have your head hitting the headboard. Your body froze in shock as your head adjusted to the sudden impact while Mingi tried his best to not laugh (which he failed miserably because you heard him laughing) as he tried to help you. "Are you okay?" he asked in between sputters, crawling up to pull your head gently into his chest, rubbing the spot that made contact with the headboard with his thumb as if you were a child. "How can you ask if I'm okay while laughing at me, you ass?" you grumbled, face burning from embarrassment but despite that, you turned your face into Mingi's broad chest and nestled, feeling safe. "How can I not? It was funny!" he chuckled, unaware that he had rested his cheek on your head as he pulled your body closer to his to comfort you. Despite his sweet (and warm) gesture, you whined and hit his chest which did absolutely nothing to stop him from laughing at you even more. "You're an ass! I hope bean isn't as mean as you!" you screeched but your voice was muffled by the fabric of Mingi's shirt which was an excuse because you really do believe that his concrete-like chest gave the actual sound-proofing effect.

When his laughter finally slowed down, Mingi pushed you away slightly to make you look at him and even though you were glaring up with hair disheveled, Mingi still found you endearing. "Okay, that's not fair, how can you expect me to not react like that when you look this adorable? I wasn't making fun of you, I just couldn't resist you!" Mingi didn't even think twice and before he knew it and before you could do anything about it, he pressed a soft kiss on your nose.

Your eyes widened as the embarrassment melted off your face but the warmth stayed but this time, it was from whatever emotion caused your stomach to flutter. Seeing your eyes wide, Mingi's eyes widened as well as he sputtered, trying to explain why he did what he did. Or say sorry first. Whichever he decided as soon as his breath stop short-circuiting because how was he supposed to know whether to apologize or explain himself first when you were looking at him like that?

"I-I-, (y/n), I-" his sputters stopped when he felt your hand slide up his chest and rest at his nape, leaving a trail of flutters in their wake and his breath hitching.

Like magnets, the both of you felt a sudden pull towards each other and you only realized this when you saw Mingi's face drawing near with his eyes fluttering close. A thousand thoughts ran through your head at that moment, mostly questioning whether or not you should be doing what you were doing with him and panicking over what it would mean if you two were to actually kiss. But there was this feeling in the back of your head that what you were doing was right, it was right for you and Mingi to be in that position and it made your heart skip a beat.

Apparently, it wasn't the only feeling you had because before Mingi could plant his soft, plump lips on yours, he felt his lips land on your shoulder instead.

Confused, Mingi opened his eyes and was about to scold you for tricking him when he saw you sitting up with eyes widened, staring down at your stomach. "Mingi, did you feel that?" you asked, eyes still glued to your stomach. Mingi's first thought was that something was wrong with the baby so he sat up because he thought that you might need to go to the hospital just in case. But before he could even jump into action, you grabbed his hand and put it on your stomach. "A-am- What are we doing?" Mingi asked, confused because it had been exactly 10 seconds since you placed his hand in your shirt so he could make direct contact with your stomach in case you were imaging things and he was becoming more aware that his hand was shoved into your shirt instead of the usual shirt-out-of-the-way belly showcase. "Shh! Just wait for it!" You hissed, still waiting. "I am! It's just that you could've warned me before shoving my hand into your shirt," he scoffed but settled on his spot.

The way Mingi pointed out your action made you hyper-aware of the position you both were in; in bed, just the two of you (because bean can't be detached from you just yet so technically bean can't be counted), almost kissing, and now his hand is a couple of inches away from your boobs. Heat rushed back to your cheeks and your heart skipped once again.

It was then that Mingi yelped.

"Did bean just kick you!?" he asked in a shaky voice, eyes wide like saucers as he looked back and forth between you and your belly. You nodded excitedly because you felt it too, you felt your baby kick for the first time. "Mingi, bean just kicked for us," you sighed happily, feeling emotional that your baby had made their existence and awareness so real for the first time. You didn't know what made you more emotional though, the fact that bean just kicked or the fact that you liked saying 'us' for you and Mingi.

"OH MY GOD, BEAN KICKED AGAIN!" Mingi screeched, immediately scrambling to push your shirt up and resting his face on the side of your stomach, "Hi bean, this is your daddy speaking. Kick once for 'I'm gonna be a soccer player' and twice for 'I'm gonna be a cancan dancer'" he grinned. You scoffed and slapped his shoulder, "Excuse you, bean is barely developed and you want them to pick a career?" Mingi momentarily looked back at you to pout before returning to your stomach, "I just wanna know how to support my baby best, I want bean to have all the love and support they can get," he muttered.

You could sense his sincerity in wanting to make sure his child would never have to doubt his love and care. That paired with his lack of skill in communicating his true intention was both endearing and funny and you couldn't help but want to comfort him. Mingi's pout dropped when he felt you patting him gently on his head, "Don't worry Mingi, I'm sure you're going to give bean all the love and attention you can give no matter what bean decides to do in the future." Your acknowledgement made him feel both comforted and giddy because usually, people would just brush him off, thinking that he was overthinking things to be funny instead of realizing that it was a genuine concern for him. But you seem to be able to understand his emotions more than his words and it felt good.

"Okay, now we need to see what kind of music bean is into since bean can give us some answers now," Mingi stated, reaching over his side of the bed to produce the device he usually puts on your stomach to play bean some songs. "I hope you won't play bean your sad fuckboy music Mingi," you sighed but Mingi waved you off, telling you that he has taste in music and that you were just jealous that bean might inherit that side of him.

Just like that, you both were focused on bean, trying to get your baby to kick again whilst letting Mingi do his experiment of 'can my baby give me answers?'. The almost kiss was never forgotten, it was just pushed aside momentarily because even while the two of you were enjoying the new achievement, two things lingered annoyingly in your heads;

"What would've happened if we had kissed?"

"Why am I disappointed that the kiss didn't happen?"

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[darthstitch]

That Goddamn Fishbowl

Let's talk about Dream and that "fishbowl."

From a story and plot perspective, Dream's imprisonment starts off his story arc. This is where we first get to meet the King of Dreams, an entity imprisoned by a greedy, avaricious man who just wanted power, prestige and wealth. The comics don't even give Roderick Burgess a conveniently dead son to humanize him. He's just an asshole who wants to get one up on Aleister Crowley, a real person who was pretty well known in occult circles as "the wickedest man in the world."

I've seen some fans like to rationalize this as Desire's attempt to get the stick out of Dream's arse, knock him down a few pegs, stop him from becoming a complete monster. That the fishbowl was a "timeout" that was "good" for Dream and led to his character growth. So Desire had a point, right? Maybe Desire wasn't so bad after all.

People still continued to dream, right? Maybe Dream wasn't really needed to perform his function. Desire is the stronger of the two, after all, at the end of the Sandman series, Dream breaks. Dream as Morpheus comes to realize that in order for him to change, he should just die. The universe doesn't need Morpheus - they needed a Dream who was young, still capable of hope, a clean slate - hence, the rise of Daniel Hall as Dream - a pure, literal white knight who could lead the Dreaming better than Morpheus ever could.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK. NO.

The tragedy of Desire, to be honest, is this. Dream is the third eldest of the Endless for a reason. He is absolutely more powerful than Desire because dreams are where desires originate, where they are shaped and given form. It's not a coincidence that Destruction is fourth eldest after Dream, that just as Dream defines Reality, Destruction defines Creation, the logical next step when you're inspired to imagine and wonder. That's what Desire can't accept, because they're just as proud and as arrogant as Dream is, and ultimately, they're even more cruel and less self-aware.

If this was a bid for Dream's attention, then it's even more sad and pathetic. Dream loved Desire once and trusted them completely. And then Desire destroyed that love, affection and trust by messing around with Kilalla of the Glow and laughing in Dream's face about it. Was Kilalla a good match for Dream? Absolutely the hell not - she did not understand who Dream truly was, but she'd eagerly "traded up" when the star Sto-Oa courted her, dropping poor Dream like a hot potato. Could the relationship have developed better, given time and space to communicate? Maybe - they were still dating when all of this happened. We'll never know because Desire stomped all over that relationship and broke Dream's heart. It started off Dream's long string of disaster romances, where he could never trust and give into his desires in a healthy fashion, always afraid that his sibling was meddling and messing shit up.

The ironic thing is I can see that Alianora had to be Desire's attempt at a peace offering, but how would Dream accept that, knowing that this particular sibling just loved to fuck with his head? That he'd been manipulated and deceived before?

Dream is flawed but it's not impossible to talk to him. Death proves it when she points out how much of an asshole he had been to Nada. Death doesn't imprison Dream in a fishbowl to get him to calm his tits down and listen - instead, she literally helps him to make a friend in Hob Gadling. One mortal turned immortal - imagine that, you can actually drive home a point and make your little brother learn a lesson without emotional and physical abuse. Amazing!

There is nothing good about Dream's time in the fishbowl. The TV show only shows us the death of Jessamy - who absolutely did not deserve to die trying to save her lord - and Unity, who had spent her life in dreams and was actually raped and impregnated by Desire in a twisted plot to get Dream to spill family blood. The comics makes it clear that thousands of people died because of the sleepy sickness - little stories like the one of Ellie Marsden, Daniel Bustamonte and Stefan Wasserman. They didn't deserve this bullshit.

Ultimately, the Sandman is a tragic tale. Dream of the Endless attempts to change - to try and be a better ruler, a better friend, a better brother, lover, husband and parent. In the comics, many of his relationships and failings are repaired and fixed - Nada is freed from hell, Calliope is freed from Richard Madoc and closure is reached with her, Dream makes it to his meeting with Hob and calls him friend, Orpheus is finally set free from his living death. But it now has the sense of a person quietly closing out his affairs, having realized how terrible and unlovable and unworthy he is. That it's time to set down his crown and his powers and pass it on to someone worthy. It's a long suicide note, accomplished with the elegance and flair that Dream is known for, but it is suicide. Morpheus is dead. A wake is held for him. And his remains are set off in a Viking-style funeral - on a wooden boat set to sail straight into the heart of a star.

The last time we see Dream as Morpheus, he is with his brother Destruction, appearing one more time to Hob Gadling, in the same way dead loved ones appear to say a final farewell.

Where is Morpheus now? The text isn't clear, really. We are invited to imagine. Perhaps he is wandering between the stars and universes with his brother, free at last from function and duty. After all, there are many versions of Dream in the multiverse, and this version of Morpheus is just one of them. Perhaps he is now human, getting to grow old and creaky like the rest of us, living a mortal lifetime, ready to greet his sister when his time comes.

Maybe he's just some writer named Neil, grumpily answering inane asks in his Tumblr inbox.

[akajustmerry]

hi merry! I just finished the newsreader and I'm not ok 😭 couple things I just wanted to ask you, do you think gerry really was the one to reach out to donna? I feel that if he did he wouldn't have come to the studios with such an expectation that he'd get any help from dale for such a betrayal. I also feel that even if he did do maybe he was just desperate enough to something so low but I don't wasn't to view him that way either 😣 my other thing is, do you think that helen was physically cheating on dale (just her going to Charlie is enough to count as infidelity but I digress). I have a complicated relationship with helen and it just wrongs me the wrong way that she'd be so bothered by kissing Tim but her actions are fine

helloooooo!!!! I'm so happy you watched The Newsreader, my beloved 😁

okay so many thoughts here. I'll just go in order:

I do think Gerry reached out to Donna but I think it was in a very low moment. I feel like he did it and probably immediately regretted it and can't take it back. If the newsreader is about anything, its a show about people having to constantly make career defining decisions even when they're at their lowest, and then having to live with the consequences of whatever decision they make. I think Gerry was angry and frightened and saw Dale as somewhat hypocritical in that moment and so he lashed out. I don't think what Dale did by throwing Gerry under the bus us was good either, but for gay and bi men, at that time especially, institutionalised homophobia made it nearly impossible for solidarity to be a thing in the workplace without jeopardising your life. The homophobia around them just forces dale and Gerry to make horrific decisions that hurt each other and it's so fucking sad!!!

Ah Helen. Helen is one of the most beautifully complicated characters in the world I adore her even in the moments where she drives me nuts. But no I don't think she was physically cheating on Dale when she was having those late night one on one chats with Charlie. I don't think she did anything with him until after she and Dale broke things off. Some people call what she was doing "emotional cheating" I guess. But I personally think Helen is a very forward person and understands that her position at news at six is so precarious because of the ableism and sexism she's experienced and Charlie was an opportunity for someone to get to know her without knowing her history. and I can totally understand why for Helen especially with her feeling insecure about dale why that's so appealing to have a man in power get to know her for who she is on her terms. I didn't like her thing with Charlie either but I understand it and that's the best thing about Helen and all the chars in this show is that even when you hate what they're doing you understand why they're doing it because the writing is so good.

Addressing her reaction to dale and Tim in a different point because I feel like it's not really about cheating even if it seems that way. Put it this way, I think if Tim was a woman and Dale told Helen that he kissed this woman in the spur of the moment but nothing really happened, Helen would probably be surprised maybe annoyed but she wouldn't think much of it for very long because Dale is not a cheater. Helen's reaction is not about the kiss itself. she's not worried about infidelity (sure maybe a bit), she's pressed because of homophobia. She's just spent months investigating AIDS and now her boyfriend who she loves is telling her that he likes men and it's the 1980s. For someone in her position at that time, even someone as intelligent and caring as she is, that would be terrifying and confusing to hear. Add to that, that Dale is trying to communicate to her that he's bisexual without having the language for that, and that he still wants to be with her, it's a lot for someone to process. I think her reaction is very human. But I don't really think it's about the "cheating" (I personally wouldn't consider dale and Tim's kiss cheating but that's just me), I think her reaction rooted in fear and homophobia and confusion, but what I love about that confession scene with Dale is how much love is in that room. She loves him so much she doesn't want to lose him and he loves her so much he doesn't want to hurt her. Like. Is her reaction a perfect reaction? No. But it's a very real one to me and I don't think when she reacted she was thinking about cheating!

Anyways, thank you for asking me about The Newsreader I'll go to sleep v happy now. Have a lovely weekend 🥰

[gingermintpepper]

Mother Love - Demeter and Persephone in poetry

Alright, so, let's finally talk about Mother Love.

I've spent the past couple of weeks compiling most of the poems from my physical copy of Mother Love into a publicly accessible google doc because there is a quite frankly embarrassing lack of archiving of this particular anthology of Dove's work and I am genuinely and greatly saddened that it is not a work more commonly brought up when discussing Demeter/Hades/Persephone retellings and reinterpretations for modern audiences.

In order to speak about what Mother Love is, I first need to address what it is not. It's not a coming of age story which portrays Persephone as a caged bird under a too-smothering Demeter. It's not a love story where Hades is some valiant hero who rescues an innocent maiden and through his love empowers her to be her truest self. It does not demonise Demeter, who has forever lost her daughter, it does not demonise Hades, who took that daughter away.

Instead, Mother Love is, perhaps, the truest interpretation of the themes of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter that I've seen, down to the structure of the anthology mimicking the hymn's narrative structure. It is the story of a mother who loses her daughter, of the grief that ensues as she worries for her, of her being pitied and given empty words instead of help finding her, of her trying to soothe herself by filling the void with new children that are not her own. It is the story of a daughter who loses her way, who went seeking flowers and was unwittingly caught in the machinations of those in higher positions of power than her, of the kingdom she is promised and refuses, of the changes she goes through in this new, strange world without her consent and how those changes will define her the rest of her life. It is the story of a lonely king overrun with ennui who wants companionship but never asks, of he who tries in vain to tempt with wealth and land and must ultimately yield to the love of a mother. Not even the lord of the dread Underworld can escape that all-consuming mother's love and this was a theme found all over greek mythology and their literature, and it is also the theme that has been unfortunately and miserably lost as we've told and retold the tale of Hades and Persephone time and time again.

Please, please read this work, and if you enjoy it, do consider picking up an actual copy of the anthology. There is so much to be gained from speaking of the Demeter/Hades/Persephone myth as one of nuance and devoid of the unnecessary moralisations and accusations that we habitually foist onto cultural figures and heroes in an attempt to validate our opinions and interpretations to our peers. In my compilation, I did leave out three poems: Breakfast of Champions, Blue Days, Nature's Itinerary, mainly because I did not think they were relevant -- but I'm always open to requests for those poems to be added to the doc if anybody gets curious. Below I've also attached a few of my favourite short poems from this anthology so people can get an idea for the content that is included in the doc.

@gotstabbedbyapen who requested a way to read these poems but could not find them, I sincerely hope you enjoy them <3

[mdhwrites]

Do you find it rather funny that some (not all) of the people who wanted Amphibia's third season to be filled with angst, panic attacks, tears, grief and parental drama, also wanted a perfectly happy ending to the story rather than the bittersweet one we got? Like, ironic much?

There's a reason why I frame fandom desires for angst to be about shipping and prestige. That they want the high emotions and the claims they can make because of those elements but not what actually comes from it. In other words: Fandoms want Yesterday's Lie's ending from The Owl House.

For those unfamiliar, this is EXACTLY at the half series mark for TOH. Luz's, the main character, mom has just found out that her daughter ran away for the Summer to a different world and when she had to choose between going home or staying there, she chose to stay there. She immediately starts blaming herself and pleading with her daughter that she'll do better but next time, she promises to return, please!

And, Luz, to her credit, is a good daughter and says yes. The sequence is powerful, real, human and tragic. A real acknowledgement of how awful Luz's original choice was while keeping Camila in character of being as caring as she is. A moment that will theoretically solidify the two's bond but to undo will take a LOT of work as Camila will now be forced to stew with this pain as in the moment of the promise, her daughter is ripped away from her again.

It was also a moment I knew COULDN'T matter.

The show simply didn't allow for it. This isn't Amphibia where the girls had to adapt to their surroundings and still had elements about the human realm they liked. Luz isn't surrounded by creatures who are entirely unlike her and thus will always have to deal with some slight element of isolation. The Boiling of Isles of TOH is Luz's home. The show CONSTANTLY reinforces that this is where she belongs. That this isn't just where she can be happy but potentially the ONLY place she can be happy. Her social anxiety vanishes. She can find like minded people. She can live out the fantasies that she always chooses over reality. By the time of Yesterday's Lie, she has not just a found family but also the first friends she's implied to have had in a long time and her first girlfriend. Her life is on the Isles.

So you have literally spent HALF of your runtime reinforcing this. That maybe Luz needs to learn some lessons but her life is with the weirdos. On the Isles. You can't just pivot from that thematically. Not without shifting the show HARD. You have to take a show where Luz's every action has either been shown as positive or able to be fixed and now acknowledge this very real act of monstrousness on her part and the lengths one has to go to fix such a break in trust, let alone when the very next episode wants to portray it as something that is actually really messing with Luz's head.

Of course... That episode also includes Luz lying. And not just that episode. In fact, she will CONSTANTLY lie and break the trust of her girlfriend, and her friends, for literally the rest of the series. This cardinal sin of Luz's, lying to her mother, suddenly becomes a defining trait of hers to an extent never present beforehand. And mind you, it's not universal. To Luz and Eda, she is willing to tell them literally ANYTHING. Her girlfriend though? Fuck her.

It does make the show darker to constantly have your main character be a fucking asshole who whines about the consequences of their actions more than they actually learn from them but does it make it better? Does it make it more mature? Does it make enjoyable? No. Because it's a thematic and tonal betrayal of EVERYTHING that came before. Not that Luz ever managed to really learn anything before but they weren't nearly so blatant about her REFUSING to learn. Worse yet, this isn't a character flaw thing. Lying is one of those things we can all agree is bad but there are NEVER consequences for it because, well, the show still commits to Luz not just being the protagonist but also the hero.

And so this big moment, Yesterday's Lie's ending, is eventually just dropped. Something I could have told you was going to happen the day after the episode came out. It couldn't fit what the show had said about its main character so far and NO ONE would be happy with an ending where she actually keeps to the promise. Undoing the promise also would have cheated the moment, which dropping it does too, not without truly proper build up and reasoning, something the show struggled with in general.

So like many a fanfic, it does this big, super angsty moment... And then never continues it. Those most affected never actually show growth or change from it. It's almost episodic levels of bad how much people just keep forgiving Luz's actions and seem to forget about these really important statements, or how Luz blatantly keeps ignoring everyone around her, and eventually her own words in S3, to keep angsting about this but not actually dealing with it.

And Amphibia, to finally loop back around, did this itself. It took Marcy out of the story in order to have its big break in tone but not have to really deal with the fact that that moment should have had a big impact... On Marcy. Yes, it's brutal for Anne and Sasha but for them, it's just a complicated friend getting potentially killed. For Marcy, it is a betrayal, near death AND she has been pushed away by her friends for her actions. She as a character just isn't compatible with the show, not without the tone of a finale or her being effectively high/drunk to keep her from actually properly acknowledging anything.

It is a narrative tightrope, let alone for kid's media, but Marcy IS a much more expendable character than your main character. Even then, S3 of Amphibia is genuinely about many of the things that the fandom wanted. Her parents are TERRIFIED about what might happen to Anne. Anne can barely keep it together for the first few episodes and makes mistakes she might know better about if not for how she is trying to make her life any less complicated and scary than it already is. The Plantars are really the only ones who don't follow this stuff but even then, episodes like Spider-Sprig still let us see that being outsiders here, when Anne is accepted back in their home, digs at their brains. They also help even out things and keep the tone consistent with the rest of the work, even while it does deal with some of the ramifications of its choices.

It's not perfect but it is what AMPHIBIA can do. Without a future series, it was never going to go as far as these fans wanted.

Though... If you are looking for an Amphibia that might even be tiptoeing up to the line of being for Adult Swim rather than a main kid's programming block, definitely more teen rated with the amount of damage it has, while keeping spot on with the tone of the original and genuinely trying to be mature with its storytelling, I recommend checking out Dr. Neque's Amphibia vol. 2. I jumped in once the trio got back to Amphibia and have been loving it so far.

Even that version of Amphibia knows that it can't be doom and gloom all the time though. That the charm of Amphibia is partially from how absurd and fun it is. How over the top it can be with its silliness and fun. We admittedly just had a fight that was... ROUGH but for similar reasons as to why True Colors was so brutal in its ending but in a state that I think is better narratively by not quite going so far. That's all I will spoil though.

All of this to say that fandom likes the emotions of angst but not its consequences or how it can damage a narrative overall. How you do need to actually be ready to tackle that properly if you want to tackle it at all or else a small trickle of angst can quickly spoil the pot, let alone an entire, rancid apple like what would happen if most fandoms even got a single episode of what they wanted.

After all, TOH fans got what they wanted from the end of Yesterday's Lie and that is the episode that turned my heart on the show. I am SO happy that there is no equivalent for Amphibia.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[stargazer-sims]

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna info-dump again (about Ginger and Stephen this time), so if you don't want to read a huge, rambling thing about my OCs, then don't click on "keep reading". That's the reason I'm putting this under a cut, so people who don't want to see it don't have to.

Gold stars to anyone who gets through this entire chaos post, though! ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Also, for anyone who is interested, here is the long info-dump post that includes Nikolai, Beth-Anne and Mishka (although it's mostly Nikolai. Beth-Anne should really have her own).

Anyway...

__________

The quick backstory on Ginger is that she was born in the UK and she's an only child who had almost no relationship with her parents who were (and still are) very wealthy and very busy. Ginger's childhood was defined by a string of governesses, tutors and household staff who took care of her much more than her parents did. She loves her parents and they love her. They were never mean or abusive to her and they always made sure she had the best of everything. They simply didn't spend enough time with her to build up the kind of relationship most other kids have with their parents.

Ginger didn't have friends growing up. She had acquaintances and kids she would hang out with, but Ginger didn't understand friendship because, again, she never saw that behavour modelled in her household. She spent a lot of time lost in her imagination and liked to write stories to entertain herself (usually in which she was the main character).

Her one true passion was skating, which she started at the age of five. It soon became apparent that not only did she love it, but that she had an exceptional talent for it. By the time she was 10 years old and began competing, there was no doubt left in anyone's mind that she would have a bright future in the sport, provided she had the proper coaching and the best resources.

Her coach helped her do some research, and they made inquiries into potential coaches not just in Europe but all around the world. When former Olympic silver medallist Stanislav Kovac agreed to take Ginger as a student, she was thrilled. It didn't take much convincing for her parents to agree to send her to Canada and to pay for everything. Ginger was a few months short of 15 years old when she left home.

She lived with a homestay family during her first year in Canada, but then moved in with Stan and his wife Milena, where she lived until she was 20 and her parents stopped paying for everything. After that, she got a place of her own.

The summer Ginger arrived in Brindleton Bay, 16 year old Nikolai Pavlenko also arrived there, after his family had moved from another province. Nikolai's grandfather had arranged for Stan to be Nikolai's coach as well, and Stan agreed only because he wasn't sure Nikolai was as great a skater as he was led to believe. Stan intended for Ginger to be his main focus.

Nikolai and Ginger, the new kids in town, at the rink and at school, bonded almost instantly. They were both lonely kids, and neither of them ever had a best friend before. They found they had far more in common than skating, and were soon inseparable. Neither of them ever had a crush or any sort of romantic feelings toward each other; they were besties and honorary siblings.

During that first year, Stan gave Ginger her nickname (her real name is Vivienne). She liked it and felt it suited her personality, and started going by it exclusively.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Satoru Fujikawa (also known as Stephen) was also an only child born into a wealthy family. Unlike Ginger, Stephen had an amazing childhood surrounded by cousins and friends and parents who made time in their busy schedules to be with him.

Stephen also showed signs of being a gifted athlete at an early age. Growing up in the Mt. Komorebi valley, he had easy access to the mountain with its year-round snow, and his parents taught him to ski when he was around four years old.

Stephen became a competitive skier and distinguished himself by making it into the Olympics twice (at age 22 and 26). He won an Olympic gold medal when he was 22, but didn't finish in the top three on his second time at the Olympics. He attributed this to massive stress in his life outside of sports.

When Stephen was 18, he married J-pop idol Sae (Sarah) Ishida who was two years older than him. He'd known her since they were kids, and they started dating while Sae was actively pursuing her dreams of being a famous music performer and Stephen was still in high school. The reason they married so young was because Sae fell pregnant. She unfortunately miscarried, but fortunately was still able to have children. They had their son Sebastian two years later, when Stephen was 20 and Sae was 22.

Stephen and Sae divorced when Sebastian was six years old. It was a very messy and highly publicized divorce, and in the end, Stephen was given full custody of Sebastian. He retired from competitive skiing at that point so he could focus on his son, and he accepted a position with his father and aunt in the family's sports equipment company. Stephen and Sebastian had little contact with Sae after that point, and little Sebastian grew up without having much of a relationship with his mother.

Determined that his son shouldn't grow up without a sibling, Stephen applied to an adoption organization to adopt an older child. He ended up adopting a little girl only a few months younger than Sebastian. She wanted to have an English-sounding name like her new dad and brother, and they all settled on Sofia. Stephen raised Sebastian and Sofia almost entirely on his own, only engaging a nanny on a part-time basis.

While Sofia turned out not to be sporty at all, Sebastian excelled at sports in general and skating in particular. From a young age, he insisted he wanted to be a figure skater, and of course Stephen indulged him.

Fast-forward to 2014...

Sebastian and Sofia, now 14 years old, are sent to a UK boarding school so they can get an international education and perfect their English.

Meanwhile, back in Brindleton Bay, Nikolai is recovered from the injury that abruptly ended his competitive skating career. He's established as a skating coach after a highly successful period of time as a competitive athlete. Ginger has also decided to pursue coaching as her next step in life, after having retired from competition the previous year.

In the late summer & early autumn of 2013, Ginger had a whirlwind romance with a UK citizen, Liam Harris, who was working temporarily in Canada. They eloped at Christmas, and by early summer of 2014, Liam had convinced Ginger to return to the UK with him, with the promise that he'd help her find work once they got there.

Ginger became an assistant athletic director at a private school; the same private school where Sebastian and Sofia Fujikawa were attending. She quickly discovered that Sebastian was a skater in need of a coach, and since she was already certified as a coach, offered to train him. Sebastian recognized her from watching numerous skating competitions, and was excited to have someone like her coach him.

Ginger met Stephen via video chat soon after. Their first meeting was all business, as they worked out the details of her coaching his son. They met face-to-face for the first time when Stephen came to get his kids at Christmas.

After two years at boarding school in England, both Sebastian and Sofia were tired of living there and asked their father if they could return to Japan to finish high school. Stephen agreed. Sebastian, who'd become incredibly attached to Ginger by this point, begged her to come back to Japan with them and continue being his coach.

Ginger's personal life was in shambles, having recently gotten divorced from Liam. He hadn't turned out to be the Prince Charming she'd thought he was. He was manipulative, and emotionally and psychologically abusive, and Ginger had had enough. Unfortunately, divorcing Liam meant that she'd needed to get a place of her own and essentially start over, but at least she still had her own income and her freedom. Deciding she had absolutely nothing to lose at this point, she agreed to go to Japan.

Stephen helped her get her immigration paperwork in order, and he offered her a place to live as well, which happened to be a small cottage on his own property. The little house used to be servants' quarters back in the day, and Stephen had been using it as a guest house whenever he'd have overnight visitors. Since overnight guests weren't a super frequent occurrence, he felt it'd be better put to use if someone were to live in it full time.

Sebastian was thrilled to have Ginger living across the courtyard. They'd grown close in the two years she'd been coaching him, and he secretly thought of her as his adopted mother. Having a mother figure in his life was something he didn't realize he was missing until Ginger came along.

At first, when she wasn't working with Sebastian or going to language school to learn Japanese so she could integrate into the community and take on other students, she kept mostly to herself, and Sebastian would come to hang out with her in her cottage. But soon, he was practically begging her to come over to the main house to spend time with him and his father and sister. It didn't take long for her to feel at ease in the main house, and before too long, she was spending more time there than she was in her cottage. As time passed, she started doing things around the house like cooking for the family, ironing Stephen's clothes (a task he hated) and helping Sofia with her various personal projects. The whole family spoke Japanese to her so she could learn faster, and in the generally happy and relaxed environment of the Fujikawa home, she thrived.

Stephen was highly impressed. He'd never asked Ginger to do anything apart from coaching Sebastian, and he certainly never expect anything from her beyond that. It seemed to him that Ginger was doing those things because she wanted to, because she cared about his whole family and wanted to help them.

Ginger had been there for about a year when Stephen began to realize he was falling in love with her. The problem was, he didn't know how to tell her, or even if it'd be appropriate to tell her. Plus, he didn't think he could be successful in a romantic relationship. He'd certainly messed up the first one, and he was scared to try again. Also, a western woman like Ginger, from a wealthy and prestigious family, would never be interested in somebody like him, would she? To Stephen, she seemed unattainable.

Years went by, in which Stephen and Ginger got to know each other very well. Stephen thought of Ginger as part of the family. He invited her as his "plus one" to numerous social and business events, made a big deal of her birthday every year and brought her along on all the family's vacations.

For her part, Ginger settled into her role as a member of the family and soon found that she had feelings for Stephen too, but there was always that thought at the back of her mind that Stephen was, for all intents and purposes, her employer and a relationship with him might not be appropriate. Also, not unlike him, she's always felt that she's not the most skillful person when it comes to relationships.

Being a natural actor, she never had much difficulty in not letting her feelings for Stephen show, and she did her best not to pay too much attention to his awkward hinting.

At one point, while Nikolai was in Japan with Eden and Eden's brother Charlie, Ginger and Nikolai experimented with a relationship beyond friendship, but it ultimately didn't work out because they could never get past thinking of each other as siblings. They love each other deeply, but not in any sort of romantic way. Mishka is Nikolai's true love, and both he and Ginger realized it within a few months of starting their experiment.

Stephen, however, was not at all happy about what he perceived as a romantic relationship between Ginger and Nikolai. He doesn't know Nikolai very well, but that didn't stop him from feeling jealous about the situation. He was only too glad to see Nikolai leave Japan.

Sebastian and Sofia figured out long ago that their dad has it bad for Ginger, and at least Sofia has figured out that the sentiment is mutual. The siblings wish their dad would just get on with it and tell Ginger his true feelings for her, so that their unofficial stepmom can become their official stepmom.

[magnificentcenturyfics]

hello i've seen your list of ideas for Hürrem/Süleyman fits and i actually love them all soooo much but my fav is probably Hürrem telling Süleyman about Leo and also the last one!! but i actually really would like them all and can't wait to read any of them <3

Very sorry for the hiatus, I promise the rest of the fics will be out before the November 1st! Anyway, here's your obligatory mostly plotless fluff piece, trigger warning for... I guess slavery and naked tits at the end?

***

“I live in the greatest city in the world, and yet I’ve barely seen any of it.”

   Streets of Istanbul entered Hürrem’s mind only very slowly. Thrust into the strange new world of the harem and put to work almost immediately, she did not have much time to dream about freedom; then, her love for Süleyman and troubles that she got into because of their relationship occupied her mind. During his absence, she oft spent her now abundant free time dreaming about transforming into a bird-of-prey and flying to the walls of Belgrade, where she would sit atop Süleyman’s tent and watch him, her bird eyes seeing better than any of his bodyguards. As time went on, her fantasies became more elaborate, with her imagining the lands she would fly over – the rolling hills, winding rivers, towns full of hustle and bustle, all of them looking suspiciously like the Carpathians, Hnyla Lipa and Rohatyn respectively. However, she remembered the sight from Süleyman’s balcony and knew the city outside of the palace walls is much different, which in turn aroused her curiosity. Indeed, her eyes of an imaginary bird focused more and more on Istanbul as well, trying to capture memories of it, as seen from the balcony not that far away from where that bird would dwell. But valide said it is improper for a woman of such low status as her to walk the streets without permission, which valide was never going to give her, and so Hürrem began to place all of her hopes of visiting the legendary Constantinople on the sultan.

   Then Süleyman arrived. Shortly before Mehmet’s birth, she brought the issue up to him, but he was reluctant to give her permission, claiming he fears for her “safety and modesty”. After much begging, he conceded that a carriage ride throughout the city perhaps couldn’t hurt, once the baby is born. However, soon after that happened, that nasty business with Günihal was revealed, and special privileges, which the carriage rides seemed to be, suddenly became utterly unattainable for Hürrem. Only amidst the excitement that the news of her second pregnancy brought did she dare to ask Süleyman once again, and her request was indeed granted.

   Hürrem left all but one of her servants at home – to take her on a carriage ride trough the city was the least she could do for Günihal after everything. It was Nigar who suggested their destination; Hürrem did not care much for the exact route of their trip, but the tales of Hagia Sofia managed to arouse her interest, if not really excitement. That morning, as they prepared for the trip, she and Gülnihal talked in Rusyn for the first time in months, solemnly discussing what they once had been told about the former capital of the christian world and wondering how much of the old Byzantine city is still standing. For people of the orthodox faith, fall of Constantinople was a generation-defining tragedy, their worst nightmares coming to life as the city that used to be the center of their world suddenly was „theirs“ anymore, but fell into the possession of their enemies, who then made it the jewel on their crown. Now Hürem could not make up her mind as to what to feel about the whole affair; after all, one day, her son too will rule from this splendid city, and just for him she could not perceive that infamous battle as having a wholly bad outcome. It was strange – the more Hürrem thought of old Constantinople, the more she related to the venerable city, an Orthodox girl brought to ruin by the Turks, only to be raised by them into heights she could not even imagine previously.

   The city streets bore a myriad of subtle signs of prosperity – its buildings were of stone, large and seemingly well-made, streets wide and neat (well, as neat as they could get in a city) and people well-fed and dressed. Admittedly, it could’ve been (and she later learned that was in fact the case) that the area they went trough happened to be in a more prosperous part of the city, but even the poorer neighbourhoods she visited later in life were nigh comparable to any given part of Rohatyn. Hürrem could imagine this is what a city like Lviv might look like, although with architecture more resembling Rohatyn. With amazement, she observed the typical flat roofs and a tall, narrow windows with circle patterns that she knew from the palace, but so far couldn’t imagine as parts of regular buildings. The size of the city was quite memmorable as well. While at first not visible from the gound, it soon dawned on Hürrem and Günihal, as they roamed trough the streets for hours, the road to every destination seemingly endless. Nonetheless, they made up new and new excuses to go further, desiring to soak up as much of the scenery as they could, because Allah knows when they will get another opportunity to see the greatest city on Earth... And there was always further to go, that much was certain. Mosques (a shocking number of them, in her opinion), marketplaces, Byzantine ruins, even an odd church or two. And crowds, crowds so large that Hürrem could not even imagine there was so many people in the world, let alone one city. Most of the people they saw were men, with women usually covered in some way or another, whether with a cloak, headscarf or a veil. No matter where they went, whether for business or pleasure, they all seemed to be in a hury – considering how long it must’ve took to get anywhere in this blasted place, it was hardly surprising. They even made it to the waterfront, from which they got their first proper look at the sea since it brought them into the city on board of the slave ship – a memmory which made Hürrem quickly turn their coach away before they could truly enjoy the sight.

Her mood thoroughly ruined and stomach grumbling, they stopped at the market, where she sent Günihal to get them something to eat. As she grumpily pondered the long hours trip back will probably take, Hürrem watched the people around her and tried to guess who they are and where they are going. There was a woman in rich silks, one of the few to have her head uncovered, accompanying another one in even more splendid dress, crying her eyes out. Ah, a Christian bride and her relative; mayhaps the wedding was thwarted in some way, or it was about to take place later in the day (at dusk, or even in the evening?) and a good sister or aunt tried to at least somewhat cheer the poor thing beforehand by giving her the last taste of freedom... Then there was a man dressed in western style close to them, sharing lewd jokes with an elderly and obviously grumpy old Turk; she did not know what his deal was, but she was sure that, had she known him personally, she would’ve disliked him immensely. A pair of little boys were playing hide-and-seek right across the street from them, while watched a young, handsome fishseller with profound annoyance in his gaze... Their father, perhaps?

   The boys were approached by a man in large turban, whose visage immediately caught Hürrem’s attention. At first, she could not believe her eyes; surely, there isn’t only one man in this whole giant city that has that distinct Graecian profile, large blue eyes and stubble slowly turning into a beard...? She didn’t quite get a direct look into his face, but she did manage to behold him from many angles, and every last one of them only confirmed the incredible truth. She considered allerting him to her presence, but she hesitated for too long; the man turned away from them and walked down the street in the opposite direction from, while Günihal arrived with some kind of flatbread filled with vegetables and richly spiced lamb. It tasted divine – Hürrem hoped palace cooks could make something like this – but it could not compare to the sight that she beheld with her own two eyes just moments prior. Oh, next meeting with the sultan is going to be fun.

   Indeed, next meeting with the sultan arrived quite soon. That very evening, Süleyman surprised Hürrem in her chambers, all smiles and rosy cheeks. He looked much less regal than under normal circumstances – not that she never saw him happy and relaxed, but perhaps it was a mistake for him to come to her in such a mood on this of all nights. Indeed, it was the worst time to wake good old mischievious Alexandra...

„Mashallah!“ he called upon seeing her. „What a visage! Heavens, you should wear braids more often...“

Hürrem donned the sweetest smile she could manage at the moment without hinting at the malice in her heart. „I’ll heed your wishes, Süleyman agh- Oh, Allah! Forgive me! I meant „my sultan“! Goodness, where’s my head at?! I told her a thousand times to pay no mind to what she saw at the market...“

Süleyman’s smile faded so thoroughly it almost made Hürrem cackle. „Come again?“

„During today’s carriage ride. You must know I’ve been there; after all, haven’t I asked you for permission just a couple of days ago?“

Süleyman’s face grew sterner, almost angry. „Of course I know of that; mother complained just how long you stayed there. Weren’t you meant to only visit Ayasofia and nothing more?!“

Hürrem’s heart stopped. Fuck. Is she in genuine trouble? „Are you angry with me, my love?“

Suddenly, his anger abaded a bit, like fading tide that can’t quite reach its maximum strenght. „I should, but tonight it’s... Quite difficult. And you haven’t broken any rules besides, though you shouldn’t leave Mehmet for such long periods. No servant can care for him quite like you.“

His words took her aback. „Valide does not think so.“

„Valide does not know, or like you very well.“

The mischievious spirit that possesed Hürrem wasn’t quite gone, but it has grown a great deal more bashful. „I hope you had fun today.“ she whispered. „I mean, out there on the market.“

Süleyman’s face suddenly took on its usual humorless expression. „I wasn’t there to have fun. I visit my people in disguise, so that I might keep in touch with their needs and opinions.“

Hürrem nervously bit her lip. „That is... Admirable.“ She slowly blinked. „But it spoils my fun. What should I tell the girls in harem, that you are a great and magnanimous ruler, as if they didn’t already know?“ When Süleyman’s eyes bulged out in horror, she laughed. „Oh, you should’ve seen your face! Allah, did you really think I’d dare...“

„As if you weren’t already the very queen of audacity...!“ Süleyman called out, grabbing her by the waist and kissing her neck and throat. The sudden turn of events for the lewd made Hürrem laugh out loud. „I should be angry with you. I should...“ he murmured against her jugular.

„Well, you are the great sultan, are you not? Noone tells you what you should and shouldn’t do. Unless it’s a street vendor that tells you to not stare at things you don’t want to buy, I suppose.“

Süleyman lifted his head from her cleveage and shot her an overly serious glare. „You aren’t letting this go, are you?“

Hürrem giggled and kissed him on the lips. „Can’t the great sultan bear a few little jabs that noone else can hear from his faithful slave?“

Süleyman’s eyes trailed back to her cleveage. „No. Sometimes, you are completely unbearable.“

His eyes lit up, and set fire to Hürrem’s lower belly. Truly, the time for fun and games has passed.

Well, at least for one kind of fun and games... Hürrem thought as she grabbed the fabric covering her left breast and slowly pushed it down, untill cold night air, followed by a man’s warm breath, hit her overly sensitive nipple.