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#because that is the emotions i have i am crying but its hearts
buck-up-buck · 2 days
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If anyone needs me i’ll be laying in the middle of the road in the rain for next seven days until 7x10 airs because respectfully ABC, wtaf.
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i321u · 10 hours
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SUDDEN SHOWER. ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
anton lee is the only boy osaki yn will ever love. she'll make sure of that.
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prelude.
words: 0.7k. warnings: grief, reckless behavior, allusion to death.
masterlist ⌇ next.
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The rain falls heavily on Shotaro's car. You sit on the passenger seat with your knees pulled up to your chest, letting the tears wet your sweatpants as you silently cry. Exhaustion has reached every bone in your body; it no longer feels like a fight against grief, but rather like you're letting it envelop you and squeeze so tight you will become one with it.
You had graduated four months ago, found a job while you searched for something within your field, and you had just moved into an apartment with your boyfriend. Everything had been perfect, yet now you're begging Shotaro to stop the car.
"Pull over," you say. Shotaro doesn't stop driving. Instead, he shakes his head and tries to clear his eyes of the tears that fill them. "Taro, pull over, please."
"We have to get home," he replies. It's as if he were in a trance: get home, cry himself to sleep tonight, and tomorrow, and the rest of the week.
Your hands feel numb, and you don't know where to put all your emotions. Before, he would have been by your side to take it all from you and help you untangle it until it makes sense. Now, it's just you and your brother as if you were seven years old again.
You surely feel like you're seven years old again.
"Ten minutes, Shotaro," you find yourself begging. "Please, pull over. Ten minutes."
"We have to get home, YN."
The car starts feeling too small for everything that's entangled within your heart. You want to open a window, but you know it will be locked: Shotaro always locks his windows when it rains, because your boyfriend would open them every time. Your brother hates getting his seats wet.
You try to swallow, but it takes you a few times. It's the telltale of a panic attack. Your lungs try searching for air, but they can't find it.
Your mind is clouded when you click the lock off the door— a trick your brother himself taught you when you were younger— and the door is open within seconds. Shotaro is still driving, but as soon as the lights overhead go on and his car starts screaming at him, he's hitting the breaks.
"What are you doing?" He asks, panic mixing with his voice. "YN, get back in the car. Are you insane?"
You just shake your head. Now that the car's stopped, you recognize where you are: it's the bridge over the river you and your boyfriend would always visit to stargaze. Just a block away from your apartment, a few blocks away from Shotaro and Sungchan's. You don't know which of the two you were heading towards, but the idea of getting back to an empty apartment— filled with pieces of him, but no him— has you running towards the edge of the bridge, clutching onto the railing, and throwing up over the river.
Your brother is at your side in an instant. Both doors of the car are still open, and the thing is still screaming its noisy alarm.
"It's okay," he whispers, voice almost getting lost in the rain. It takes you a moment to realize he's speaking Japanese. "I've got you. I've got you, I promise."
He's always been there, and you know he will always be there, so you let yourself lean on your brother. Your eyes close slowly.
"What am I supposed to do now?"
"You keep going, YN." Shotaro reaches into his pocket and, soon, he's handing you something. You can tell what it is just by holding it, and you squeeze it so tight you're afraid it might break. "You've got to keep going."
Messing with the thing in your hand, you whisper: "I wish I could turn back time."
Shotaro just sighs, and you open your eyes to stare at the rain falling on cement in front of you. The watch on your hand feels heavier, and you get dizzy. It's Anton's watch, the one he used to keep track of his swimming times with. The one he never let go of.
"I wish I could turn back time," you repeat. It feels like wishing on a shooting star, but you're just wishing on a broken watch.
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taglist ( send an ask to be added! ) : @tocupid
i321u © 2024.
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neonacidtrip · 1 year
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we haven’t spoken in a long time but please know i still think about you often!! 💕
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You are so sweet, anon!! I hope your life is full of nothing but good things and happiness 💕 I would wrestle a tiger for you
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evelynpr · 1 month
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No one did "a Father's tough love" like Arlecchino
You KNOW she wants to tell her children how proud she is of them. How she wants to know what they're up to and what they like. How she wants to be a real caring father. How she wants to always ask "are you okay? Do you need help? What can I do for you?"
But she can't care. Caring is a lie, and being cared for makes you vulnerable. She has to be strong, because she must protect her children. She must protect her children, so she cannot feel cared by them. However, the children must care for each other, so they can be strong.
They cannot care for me, because they must be strong without me. They should not care for me, only fear me, for that is how they will survive without me.
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elegyofthemoon · 2 months
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
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#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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early-october-skies · 23 days
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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loutrem · 1 year
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#its dumb of me but a few days ago i went with his deadname on google to see if i could see more stuff about his dead#since his friends who were alqo supposed to be my friends did a 'ceremony' together without telling me#even tho i rly wanted to go to be able to grief and to cry it out properly#so since i havent been able to grieve well i did that. search for his deadname. i just wanted to know#and i found out that a page for him was made on the tdor website. there were a ton of details on what was happening#before and after his death#many things i didnt know about. because i was a shit friend and never kept contact. and also because he was secretivz#i feel awful since then. who was i to him. why couldnt i help him. why am i even sorry for myself. he was the one suffering#i keep crying and i cant sleep at night without reading comics until i feel too tired to open my eyes#because otherwise im thinking too much about him. its just too awful. too unjust#i have. weird cravings for alcohol. ive never even drinked much before. im scared of starting to get addicted#but sometimes i wanna get somethibg anything and just drink until i pass out since people say its good to forget#i wish he were still alive. i wish i could hug him and help him. i wish id visited him in the hospital after his 1st mental breakdown#he had sent me a text to tell me he was there but i had work and i was tired and honestly too lazy to go. and now i regret it so bad#its all so unfair. death is so unfair. grief is so unfair. i was afraid i had no heart before because people who died around me didnt#phase me much. i didnt cry. but now that ive experienced the deaths of 2 actually very close people counting one i couldnt grieve forproper#i just wish i had no emotions. that i wouldnt cry when i think of them. but especially him.#and i cant stop thinking about how awful ill be when my parents die. ill be a wreck.#im just crying in my bed and its 4am. everythibg sucks. im so sorry to everyone whos ever met me. im awful#negative /#death m /#suicide m /
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i miss back when i was active here and had actual friends who cared for me who i talked regularly to and i was doing well
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vanyafresita · 6 months
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i just made myself emotional thinking about the "to be loved is to be changed" trend, but instead of objects or pets, it's with two photos of someone before and after their gender transition...
as you start to transition, you also start learning how to love your new self ! and it shapes you ! it changes you ! and and and i just. fell to my knees crying.
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explicit-tae · 6 months
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Hey can you write a jk fic about a world where people can't express anything like they can't laugh,cry or feel any type of emotions and they don't know about these and then jk feels something after seeing oc like that ...
Actually I don't know how to tell you 😭😭
Since there's not really a lot to go off of, I just did what I could with what you gave me 😅 hopefully its similar to what you were intending to say 🫶🏽
Cosmic Balance
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Every universal realm has a positive and negative - good or bad. Jungkook manages to cross the portal from his dystopian world to your utopian one and decides that he'd do anything to stay with you.
Word Count: 8.786
Warning: dystopian world, sex-work/brothel, protected/unprotected sex, mentions of cheating, kissing, virtual reality sex, nipple sucking, oral sex, riding, creampie, slight dirty talk, fingering,
Alternate Universe
“Just try it…” is all Jungkook can hear in his mind. His eyes flash to the large digital clock flashing outside his window - he was supposed to be asleep now, as was everyone in his world. “It’s a portal to a whole different world. Just make sure you’re back by 6 am.”
Jungkook’s hands tremble as he grasps the cover on his mirror. It’s one - of many - forbidden rules, completely unforgivable. He never questioned why all reflected areas should be covered as night came, but then again, it was a question that should never be answered.
Jungkook’s world is dark and dull - gray. He was raised upon these rules - he and millions of others. There were rules that were meant to be followed and going against them meant dire consequences - death always an option. 
Jungkook removes the cover quickly and swallows the lump in his throat. He stares at his reflection - the terrified look in his eyes and his heaving chest. He licks his lips, the thought of his breaking a forbidden rule has the hairs on his skin rising.
Jungkook looks closer at his reflection, his finger reaching out to touch. There’s a rippling effect in the reflection that when Jungkook touches, he visibly is horrified when his hand falls through the mirror.
Jungkook snatches himself away from the mirror and quickly covers the mirror with the cover once more. He falls onto his bed, heart thumping that they were right - his friends were correct. There was a whole different world besides the one he’s in now and the thought scares him.
Jungkook often wished that there was a different world he could live in. A world where there weren't strict rules for being excited - he could laugh freely in public when something was funny and not risk being arrested and fined.
Was there truly a world that allowed their people to be free - where the atmosphere was carefree and loving. Did the other world allow their people to laugh, smile - even cry - in public and not the confines of their own room. Did the other people only arrest those who were actually committing heinous crimes, and not because they were a minute late on curfew?
Did the other world allow their people to love and marry whoever they wanted? Jungkook thinks how in a few years at the age of 28 he would be married to whoever his government chose - based on status - and he would be expected to have a child no later than a year. Women who couldn’t bear children would be forced to be alone and provide for themselves. They were encouraged to be whores and work in brothels - “it’s not like you could bear a child anyways” is the harsh words the government would speak to them.
Men would oftentimes be ridiculed, losing job opportunities and their status in life lowering. 
Jungkook thinks how his life would be if he was in another world where he could love who he wants to and not who he was chosen to.
It’s what Jungkook thinks when he sees you, the same work attire as his. You were soon destined to marry someone else just like he was and he knows that he could never have you. There was always a possibility that you would be chosen for him - but Jungkook doesn’t allow himself to think about it. He isn’t an idiot and he understands that you were going to be taken away by some other man and married - and you’d have that man’s child instead.
Your eyes meet Jungkook’s for a moment and he glances away. He was staring again, he thinks. You’re a smart woman and you know how he feels for you and understands that he could never act upon them. You weren’t a barren woman - and a relationship - sexual or not - prior to marriage to an unbarren woman is one of many forbidden rules.
“Still looking at Y/N?” 
The seat beside Jungkook is taken by Taehyung. His friend opens the laptop and begins to type, continuing his work. He speaks in a low tone to not disturb the peace - doing so could lead to arrest.
“She could report you for harassment.” 
You could, Jungkook thinks. Women have reported men for harassment all the time - harrassment being even glancing their way if they didn’t appreciate the act. 
You could, but you never did.
“Have you gone to the brothel? Maybe you need to let off some steam.” Taehyung glances his way a bit, his typing not ceasing. “Staring at her isn’t going to make things easier.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond - because he knows Taehyung is correct. The last thing he did want was for you to report him for harassment. He could go to the brothel, sure, but there was no real connection there. He could fuck for as long as he desired, but there was no true connection to the women he was fucking nor did he ever know what these women looked like as their upper and lower body are separated. 
Sex shouldn’t be so quick nor easy - so one sided. Jungkook wants to know did these women feel the same as he did - even if it was a quick high. Did they enjoy the way he fucked them or did they want him to be slower - or faster, go deeper. 
“There you go,” Taehyung murmurs, his fingers typing fast. “in your head again. Did you do as we told you?”
Jungkook sends a e-document and shakes his head. “Freaked out.” he murmurs. 
Taehyung snorts quietly. “I knew you would.”
Jungkook sighs. “It isn’t that easy.”
“How so? You walk through the mirror during an in-between and make sure you’re back on time.” Taehyung shrugs. He glances at you for a moment, noticing how your eyes are upon them - mainly Jungkook. You appear to be surprised that Taehyung catches you and quickly, you turn away. 
“What are you afraid of?” Taehyung murmurs.
What was he afraid of?
There was a lot to be afraid of. He had never broken a forbidden rule before - uncovering a mirror after hours  was an unforgivable one, and now he understood why. There was a whole different universe out there that was seemingly different than his own - he wouldn’t know how to navigate it. His friends had told him stories that appeared to be just that, stories. Something fictional and unbelievable. 
Jungkook was afraid that if he went to this world, that he’d never want to return to his own.
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Jungkook is disgusted with himself - disgusted in how he finds himself in the brothel.
Not only Jungkook - but many unmarried men starting at the age of 21-27. This was the only place where it didn’t matter how loud you were. You could scream, yell, curse - hell, cry. You can display any type of emotion inside the brothel.
The brothel had color and life to it - not the sad beige and gray of the outside world. It appeared to be like a dream - was this what the other world was like? Colorful? Cherry? Maybe that’s why his friend visited at night. It was like a vacation away from the reality in which they lived.
“Kook!”
As arm wraps around Jungkook’s shoulders. 
“Not surprised to see you here after the way you acted at work.” Taehyung says loudly, his natural state booming inside of the brothel. “You’re late. We have to all be gone in an hour.”
Jungkook knows this - he never intended on coming until the last minute. It feels like he’s doing the walk of shame coming inside the brothel, but no one cares. All of these men inside of here were looking to get away; to let off steam from the world they lived in.
“You look depressed.” Taehyung snorts. “You know we don’t judge here.”
“Exactly, Kook.” Jimin places a hand on his shoulder, seemingly appearing from thin air. “I think you should try virtual reality.”
Jungkook scoffs. “It’s bad enough I’m in here.” he murmurs.
“Tae told me the way you were looking at Y/N.”
Of course Taehyung did.
“She’s a fertile woman. Meaning she will be married off to whoever the government chooses as would you.”
Jimin was never the one to sugar coat anything. Jungkook could only respect it.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t pretend.” Taehyung slaps Jungkook's back. “I’ll pay for it.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened. “That’ll be expensive.” he says with a shake of his head.
Casual sex was free and paid by the government. At first it’s weird - surrounded by men who were all taking turns on fucking multiple girls in the wall that you couldn’t see. But after a while it got easier and Jungkook only was there to cum and go.
Virtual Reality, however, was not free. It costs to have a private room, a girl and the virtual contact lenses to alter reality. You could choose whatever reality you desired for a price - and Jungkook already felt shitty enough about coming here.
“You’re never going to have Y/N unless fate is on your side.” Jimin says. “And fate is on no one side in our world.”
Meaning, Jungkook had to give up on having you chosen as his partner; an act he already gave up on. 
“But just for an hour, you can pretend to be with her. It’ll feel good. I promise.”
Taehyung’s words ring through his ears. He’s done this before, Jungkook thinks. He only has a few months left until he’s set to be married, the woman he once wanted far from his reach.
“Okay.” Jungkook murmurs sullenly.
Jungkook is disgusted with himself already - and even more so. But he was a man and he couldn’t hide what desires he had for you.
All the desires he did have for you were taken out on the woman who’s name or face he did not know - he moaned for you. He called you pretty and beautiful and in his mind, he was fucking you.
Jungkook likes to think that in another world, he and you could be together. That you and he could talk freely without others speculating he was harassing you - a fertile unwed woman. But as of right now, he would pretend he was fucking you and not another woman in the brothel during virtual reality.
Jungkook’s eyes watch the way your face contort with pleasure as he fucks deep into you. There was only an hour until he had to leave and he took full advantage of it. He isn’t sure how many times he came, filling the condom he wore completely - but he never wants to stop. 
Jungkook doesn’t want this reality with you to end - even deep down he knows that this wasn’t real. Those weren’t your moans nor was it your reaction to him but it’s what he has to deal with to feel closer to you.
“Ah, look at you.” Jimin smirks as he eyes Jungkook exiting the room. His eyes are slightly red due to having to remove the contact lenses. “Feel better?”
No, Jungkook thinks, but he only nods his head. 
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 “What are you afraid of?”
Jungkook places a hand towards the mirror, his eyes widening as it begins to go through just as it did the night prior. He has to coach himself to do it - this was okay. He could do it - he could make it through the portal just fine.
As long as he was back before 6 am, he was good. No one would have to know that he was committing a crime that could be punishable by death. 
The portal sucks him in completely - it’s dark and cold. Jungkook’s mind races and he opens his mouth to scream, but he can’t. The feeling is as if he’s jumped from a high surface, gravity completely taking a toll on him.
Jungkook falls onto the ground with a thud, his hands not able to catch himself. He releases a low groan at the impact he’s faced crashing to the floor. He grumbles and pushes himself off of the ground. 
Jungkook’s eyes open and it’s then he realizes that he isn’t where he should be. This isn’t his room - even if it was nearly identical. The room had personality - not like the dull one he had back in his world. The ceiling was just as high as his back in his world but the bed is larger. He notices that the headboard - block - has a strange glow behind it and beneath the bed. It glows multiple colors that Jungkook finds fascinating. The large window - where outside displays a large digital clock for not only him, but for the surrounding homes to see - is covered by a long, dark curtain, blocking out the outside world. The closet is on the far right of the room and Jungkook’s curiosity peaks - his world, clothes weren’t expressive. They were bland and more of a uniform that most citizens wore.
Jungkook gasps, having strolled towards the closet and opened it. Even the clothes in this world had personality - different colors and textures. Long, short, tight or loose - it amazes him how people in this world could express themselves freely. 
“Does your girlfriend know you have me here?” a voice sounds from right outside the door that Jungkook leaps into the closet and hides, only sliding the door close a bit to see.
Jungkook is flabbergasted upon seeing himself - or, this new world version of him. Did this man have the same name as him, or was it just a look alike?
“Y/N’s not going to be here tonight.” Jungkook hears his voice and he stiffens. “She’s out with her friends.”
Y/N.
You.
You were in this universe, too. 
You and him - could Jungkook call this different version of this man “him”? Regardless, you and he were together.
You were his girlfriend in this universe.
And he was cheating on you - Jungkook wants to faint at the revelation alone that in this universe he had you. He had you - the person he wanted. There were no rules on sex outside of brothels here - nor did it appear that a government was controlling every aspect of life.
Jungkook had you in this universe - and he was cheating on you.
Jungkook couldn’t stay here any longer and watch himself be with another girl. He wouldn’t notice himself creeping out of the room - it's dimly lit and the only lights are that of the changing colorful ones. He’s slow with opening the door and closing it discreetly behind him.
The rest of the home is just as amazing as the bedroom - full of this version of him. There’s artwork displayed on the walls that catches Jungkook's eyes, but he doesn’t have the time to stop and appreciate it like he wants to because something else catches his eye. It’s in the hallway as he’s walking by.
A picture of you and him - together. You were smiling, arms wrapped firmly around him, your cheek pressed against his own. You looked beautiful; happy. He did, as well.
Jungkook touches the picture - were you different in this universe? Is this why he was cheating on you? There had to be a reason as to why this version of him would go against everything he wanted for one night with a woman when all he wanted was you.
Jungkook hears a muffled voice and his head snaps down the hall where his front door would be. He contemplates running, but he doesn’t. The door opens and his heart stops.
“Kookie.” you tilt your head and offer him a smile and then a confused look. “You’re still up?”
Jungkook doesn’t know what to say and it’s like his breath was taken away. You’re in front of him - you’re speaking to him.
You called him Kookie.
Your clothes are something he’d never see you wear in his world. Your dress is dark and tightly fitted and it shows a great amount of cleavage. Your skin looks so smooth and soft and his hands tremble to feel it beneath his palm.
“Are you okay?” you take a step forward, your heels clicking against the floor. You reach out to touch his forehead and Jungkook knows now that he isn’t okay. “You don’t feel hot-”
“Y/N.” Jungkook says, and this is his moment. He touches your face fondly, thumb pressing itself against your lips. 
You snicker. “What’s gotten into you?” you ask. “I know I said I would be out all night but I wanted to come home to you.”
Jungkook releases a shaky breath at your words. You wanted to come home to him - but not him, your version of him. The same Jungkook that was cheating on you now and expecting not to see you.
Jungkook doesn’t want that for you - even if this was his last time seeing you in this world. He doesn’t want to be the reason for your pain. “Let’s go out together.”
“Together?” you knit your brows. “Dressed like that?”
Jungkook looks down at his own attire - basic black t-shirt and jeans that would only be acceptable for him to wear at home back in his world - but maybe in this one it was exactly that; basic. 
“I just want to be with you.” Jungkook murmurs truthfully and you smile - a bright smile that causes his heart to sink. He would have to go home eventually, and he wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. 
“Okay.” you nod slowly, taking his hand in yours. “You hungry? We can go to Late Night Slice.”
Jungkook is shocked to see how crowded the streets are. Back in his world, no one was allowed outside past 9 pm. Even during the day, citizens had to walk in a straight line, no more than three people standing side by side. 
It was past curfew but yet here everyone was. People were laughing, littering the streets without a care in the world. There was a melodic tune playing, something he’s never heard before. 
“You act like you’ve never heard music before.”
You say it as though you can read him, Jungkook thinks.  “Music…” he murmurs, trailing off. 
There wasn’t any music where Jungkook was from, and now he’s realizing that his world was Hell compared to this. It was night time but yet, everything was so bright. The laughter from everyone surrounding them, the music - the atmosphere in general. 
Jungkook feels his skin erupt with goosebumps.
“Come,” you yank him lightly to get his attention and you fully have it. You take him to a small shop where only a few people were inside. The smell makes Jungkook’s stomach rumble and his mouth salivate. “I ordered ahead already, so it should be done.”
Order ahead? Jungkook wants to ask what you meant, but he doesn’t want to appear any more dumb than he was when it came to you and this world.
“I can take that.” Jungkook says as you go to grab a large tray of pizza - it smells as delicious as it looks and Jungkook cannot fathom how someone can be open and cook amazingly this late at night. 
“I’ll go get our drinks.” you smile at him brightly that it nearly causes Jungkook to drop the tray of food. “Go find us a table, okay?”
“Yes.” Jungkook nods, licking his lips. He wants to hurt himself - not really. Hurt this version of him. As you and he sit here and eat as a couple, he was cheating on you with another woman - one not worthy of his attention. 
Jungkook finds a table farther from everyone else and sits down, placing the tray of pizza onto the table. He watches from afar as you come back with two drinks in your hands and his lifts form into a small smile.
“What’s funny?” you ask him as you sit down across from him, placing the drink in front of him. 
“I’m not laughing.” Jungkook knits his brows. “You just look very beautiful.”
Jungkooks cheeks are red as he speaks.
You’re taken aback by the compliment. “Ah, really?” you snort. “You only ever call me beautiful when you’re fucking me.”
Jungkook’s throat tightens at your words and his breath hitches. You can speak so freely in this world, he thinks. There doesn’t need to be a hidden conversation of whispers or hushed murmurs. “I-I…” he doesn’t know what to say. On one hand, the thought of him being with you outside of virtual reality has him excited - but the other part of him finds this version of himself highly selfish. He cannot think about only calling you beautiful when he is intimate with you - especially in a world in which he doesn’t have to hide his love. “...You’re very beautiful to me, Y/N. Even outside of…sex.”
You blink a few times, watching Jungkook intently. Slowly, you begin to smile. “Thank you.” you say softly. “I think you’re beautiful, as well, Kookie.” you say teasingly. “Now let’s eat!”
Jungkook never wants to go back to his world. He doesn’t want to leave you behind with the version of him that doesn’t love you. You and he eat and it mainly consists of you talking to him while he listens closely - he isn’t sure of what you are talking about. He isn’t from a world where “clubs” or “bars” are normal - but they seem fun. 
Jungkook takes a sip of the drink you gave him and he immediately coughs. 
“Kookie? You okay?” you rush to place a napkin in his hands.
“W-What is this?” Jungkook smells the clear drink and his eyes widen as it begins to fizzle.
“Sprite…?” you tilt your head. “Does it taste funny?”
Funny wasn’t the word - it tasted strong. He hasn’t tasted anything like this before, the taste feels as if it’s stabbing against his taste buds and fighting against his throat.
It was a weird taste that Jungkook liked.
Jungkook begins to chug the rest of the drink entirely, his body shuddering at the amazing taste. It brings a rush through him.
You watch wide eyed as Jungkook slams the cup down against the table and burp. He places a hand over his mouth at his crude actions. “Excuse-”
“You’re so cute, Kookie!” you laugh at his actions, a sweet melodic laugh that he wants to hear for the rest of his life.
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Jungkook finds himself never wanting to leave you, but needing to each time he’s visited and coincidentally managing to not come face to face with himself while doing so.
The first time he had to go through the portal, there was a longing feeling holding him back - the euphoric sense that this new world was better. It was colorful and full of life - returning back to his world left him with deep sorrow. He was coming down from a serotonin high and he realized that each time he did so, he was growing more and more depressed.
But Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to care. He would go through the drop of serotonin if it meant he could see you every night - and each night he did. He would visit you, somehow managing to avoid himself, and have an amazing time with you in this Utopian world. Each night was something different - you took him to midnight festivals that played “music” - an amazing tune with people singing and dancing and it’s something you forced him to do with you.
And Jungkook loved it - he adored dancing with you. He enjoyed being carefree and not feeling judgmental eyes upon him. He tried different foods that his world would never allow, drinks that caused his taste buds to go crazy and such sweet snacks that at times would cause his teeth to hurt.
This utopian world was amazing and each time he would return home, he hated it. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep but wouldn’t stop from returning the next night because it was worth it to get away from his world and to see you.
On his 12th day of returning to the Utopian world, Jungkook isn’t alone. He hears screaming coming from further into the home. He ventures outside of the room stealthy to see what’s wrong - mainly because he hears your voice. It’s strained and filled with pain - as is your appearance when his eyes catch you. His heart drops when his eyes catch your face - you’re crying, a black streak streaming down your cheeks. It’s makeup he now knows, having watched you put on the products and astonished when it enhances your beauty even more.
“Where are you planning on going, Y/N?” Jungkook hears his voice say, his tone far too aggressive for his liking. “You live here. With me.”
“You had another woman in the same bed that I sleep in Jungkook.”
Jungkook sighs to himself, his heart falling once more. It was a matter of time until you found out, he thinks. It wasn’t something he wanted to happen for you - you were someone he loved, even if he wasn’t from this world. He wanted you to be happy and live an amazing life, even if it wasn’t with him but with the version of him that didn’t deserve you.
Jungkook watches you push him away with a huff when he tries to bring you closer to him.
“Fine.” Jungkook then shrugs with a scoff. “I’m leaving. If you want to pack everything and leave then you can. But I’m not forcing you to go.”
You snicker with a shake of your head at the audacity of Jungkook.
“You’re going to throw everything away because of one mistake?”
“Was it only once?” you ask him with folded arms. You’re waiting for him to respond to the question you know the answer to already. “Your silence tells me everything I need to know.”
You feel Jungkook’s eyes watch you storm away. He bites back a remark and instead decides to let you cool off. You weren’t going to leave him - where would you even go? You didn’t have anyone but him.
Jungkook watches himself leave out the front door, slamming it behind him as you’re making your way towards the bedroom. Jungkook saunters back inside the bedroom and hides inside the closet, a sense of deja vu coming through him.
You slam through the door and fall onto the large bed. You’re crying again and the sound makes Jungkook want to hurt this world's version of him.
An affair wasn’t allowed in his world and it’s a punishable offense. Of course, very few men loved their wives that they’re set upon and vice versa. Only few come to love one another - but it’s rare. He had to look at his own parents as evidence of this. As he and you would walk the busy streets the past weeks, he noticed people of all ages and genders together - two older couples sitting side by side enjoying one another's company. Two men holding one another while taking pictures - it’s nice to see and experience.
This version of Jungkook didn’t deserve you or this world, he thinks - he took it for granted.
“Y/N.”
You flinch at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Your eyes widen at him, not hearing him come in. “W-Why are you in the closet?”
Jungkook swallows.
“And when did you change…?” your words trail off, hands wiping your tears.
“I’m sorry that he hurt you.” Jungkook murmurs, his tone lowering. His eyes are sad, you note, sad for you. He comes closer, his demeanor soft unlike the cocky and narcissistic one of that prior.
You stand to your feet and tilt your head, your eyes focusing on his face. “You just got a piercing earlier.” you murmur, more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Where did it go?”
Jungkook stiffens when he feels your fingers on his lips. His hand reaches up to touch yours on his face and he sighs. “I hate the way he treats you, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Your head is spinning at Jungkook’s choice of words. You’re confused at how he’s wording everything - as if he’s a third person in this situation.
“Kookie…?”
Jungkook kisses your fingers then your hand. “I wish I could stay here with you. Forever.”
You aren’t sure how to feel, your emotions are spiraling. Jungkook speaks as if everything that went down between the two of you hasn’t happened - and your mind is beginning to fog; contemplating if it did or not.
“I’m not from here, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks once more, lowering your hand to your side and entangling his fingers with yours. “I wish I was so I could treat you better than him. I wouldn’t take you or this world for granted.”
You don’t speak, unable on what to say in response. You aren’t crying anymore, your cheeks stained with tears and puffy.
Jungkook tugs you deeper into the room and towards the mirror by the closet. You’re unsure what’s going on and where he’s getting at.
Jungkook’s sure he might regret this - that you would be freaked out to the point that you wouldn’t want to talk with him anymore, but he had to show you.
Jungkook stops in front of the mirror and turns towards you. He lifts your hand that’s holding his and slowly, brings it towards the mirror.
Your eyes widen in shock when your hand sinks into the mirror, a cold, windy feeling causing your hand to tremble.
“J-Jungkook-”
“I’m from a different world. I was just as scared as you are right now.” Jungkook says, bringing your hand out of the mirror and letting it go. His hands grasp your face. “I came here and everything's so…euphoric. It’s nice that everyone is accepting. There’s no strict rules enforced by the government to control you all.”
Jungkook’s thumb rubs along your lips.
“You…in my world you and I can never be together. Not unless the Government allowed it and I’m positive they aren’t. You are free to be in love with whoever you want here, Y/N. And I’m sorry this version of me is taking you for granted.”
Your heart is beating at an alarming rate. Your eyes are wide with shock at his words.
This Jungkook was not your Jungkook - not the man who cheated on you and left without as much as acknowledging your feelings. This Jungkook came from a different world - and as unbelievable as it sounded, it was true.
“Why can’t we be together?” you murmur, still unsure if this was reality or a dream - everything felt real at this point.
“The Government chooses who we marry based on ranking and status.” Jungkook explains. “You’re a woman who can bear children, so you’ll be married to someone of their choosing.”
Your eyebrows knit. “Why does it matter if I can bear children or not?”
Jungkook smiles sadly at you. “Barren women cannot be married.” He recalls wishing that you and he were both barren, then maybe the Government would see the two of you as useless and allow him to marry you - but life wasn’t that cruel to either of you.
“It must be a cruel world.” you murmur, and Jungkook agrees. “How long have you…”
Jungkook knows what you’re speaking of. “Close to two weeks. I’ve been coming to you every night.”
Your eyes widened and now, everything made sense. How Jungkook - well, not the one before you, but the other one - would be confused about the night prior, but you’d just thought he was either faking or too tired to. But no, you and this Jungkook from a different world were the one spending it together.
This is why the connection between the two of you suddenly has changed. It became bearable to be around Jungkook. He smiled and laughed more. He was willing to hold your hand wherever the two of you went and would sneak kisses at random times. He took more pictures with you and appeared overall happier than before.
But it wasn’t the Jungkook you know - it was a different version of him.
You snicker, your eyes swelling with tears.
Jungkook shakes his head. “I-I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, Y/N. Please don’t cry-”
You hand your head. “I’m not upset with you, Jungkook.” you say, blinking away the tears that are forming. “I’m upset that you and I can never be together because you aren’t from this world.”
Jungkook’s chest tightens at your words.
“And I…I can’t go to your world, either.” You didn’t want to, Jungkook thinks. He doesn’t want to see your demeanor and personality change if you went to a world so different from this one.
“I’m sorry-”
Jungkook is interrupted suddenly by your lips on his. He’s taken aback by your sudden actions, but he doesn’t push you awake.
“If there’s a world,” you remove your lips from his for a moment. “that is an alternate realm where you and I are in, that means…he can’t die.”
Jungkook isn’t sure where you’re getting at.
“Jungkook can’t die because then you’ll die.” you say, your hand caressing Jungkook’s cheek. “I-I don’t think you and he can be in the same world, either. It would probably cause some type of unbalance.”
Jungkook nods. “The in between opens at 12. I make sure I’m back before 6.”
You nod slowly.
“I want you to stay with me, Jungkook.” you murmur to him, as if it was a secret that only he can hear. “Wouldn’t you like that?”
Jungkook nods his head, doe-like eyes widening. “I do,” he admits. “but I don’t think-”
“SShh,” you peck him on his lips once more and Jungkook melts into the kiss. “we have a few hours before we can figure out what to do. I just want you to stay with me.”
Jungkook nods.
Kissing you had to be his favorite thing to do. And touching you, feeling your smooth skin against his palm.
Your back hits against the bed, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. This Jungkook was different from the one you’ve known. He was gentle and kind. He cared for your feelings and truly wanted what was best for you.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Jungkook manages to push himself away from you just as your hand dips underneath his pants. “You’re already hurting from what he’s done to you.”
“You aren’t like him.” It’s weird to speak of a different version of himself as if it was a whole different person with a different face. “I want to be with you.”
Your hands do make their way into his pants and you proceed to grasp his hardened length. Jungkook hisses. “O-Okay.” he nods hastily with no other argument. He caves far too easily - but he’s wanted you for so long. The virtual reality he had was an embarrassing moment he wanted to forget - but now he was going to have the real thing. The real you.
“I-I want to pleasure you.” Jungkook’s cheeks are tinted as he speaks, but it’s like a dream of his. Coming from a world where pleasuring a woman (before marriage) isn’t a priority, he wants to do this - especially with you.
Jungkook kisses your neck, inhaling your sweet scent that starts to drive him wild. His hands roam your body, grasping the hem of your shirt and lifting it over your head.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Jungkook murmurs, his lips kissing down your collarbone to between your breasts.”So beautiful and all mine.”
Jungkook doesn’t want this moment to end - he wants to savor every bit of it. He wants to sit and stare at the beauty that’s your body for hours if the universe would let him.
You feel Jungkook's hand dip behind your back to unclasp your bra. It’s left discarded, his hands roaming your back entirely. He shudders.
“You look scared.” you teased with a hushed tone. “As if you have never done this before.”
“I’m not married, so no, I have not.” Jungkook speaks. “Every man goes to the brothel but that isn’t pleasurable for the woman. I don’t even see their faces.”
You swallow, your eyes widening slightly.
“My friends often come here, too…” Jungkook begins, his hands slowly gripping your breast in the palm of his hands. “...and they told me how free it was here. What they’d do when they were pleasuring women here.”
Jungkook’s friends - you ponder if it’s the same friends in his world that Jungkook has in this one.
“And I want to try it.”
You yelp when you feel Jungkook’s mouth wrap a nipple into his mouth entirely, suckling as if his life depended on it. You weren’t complaining, enjoying just how needy Jungkook appeared. Jungkook groans in your breast, his free hand gripping your breast entirely while he sucks on the other. He’s unsure why he appears so stuck on your breast - or why he enjoys doing so. They didn’t have a particular taste to them - it only tasted like skin.
Jungkook’s positive that it’s your reaction to him doing so. Your moans - so sweet and velvety. The way your legs wrap around his waist a little tighter and your hand rests on the back of his head.
There’s a string of saliva connecting your nipple to his lips when Jungkook finally comes up from them. He licks his lips, eyes dark and full of lust.
You eye Jungkook has his lips place warm kisses upon your skin, dipping down to your stomach. His hands reach your shorts, tugging them down just as he gets lower and lower.
“Y-You don’t have to do that.” you say, embarrassed when Jungkook pulls down your shorts entirely.
Jungkook looks up at you for a moment before down at your exposed underwear - purple and cotton. They were cute, he thinks, especially as he witnesses the slight wet spot directly in the middle of them.
“Why not?” Jungkook places his fingers on your clothed clit, rubbing gently.
You swallow back a moan, thighs twitching. “Y-You never have…not you but. The other Jungkook.”
Jungkook wants to shake his head. The audacity of this other version of him - if he had the chance to ravish you at every given moment, he would. He didn’t understand why this world took everything for granted - being allowed to roam the streets after 9 Pm was a luxury alone that this world provided.
“But I want to.” Jungkook hooks his fingers between your panties and pushes it aside. He licks his lips at your wet clit and he hums. “So beautiful.” he murmurs.
Jungkook lowers himself to your heat and your eyes widen - he was really going to do this. You don’t have time to react, either. His tongue pokes out of his mouth and it’s already swiping along your clit.
“S-Stop…!” you yelp, jerking at the unfamiliar feeling.
Jungkook catches your legs just as they were about to crush him. “Relax, Y/N.” he laughs gleefully. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”
You bite your lip but nod. Your legs are trembling with nerves and slight embarrassment at how close Jungkook was to your sex - vaginas couldn’t look that appealing for him to appear ready to risk it all at just a taste of it.
But to Jungkook, it was. His nails dig into the skin of your thighs as he holds you into place, his tongue flat and his head shifting from side to side.
Your stomach bubbles with tension and pleasure. You aren’t aware that something like this could feel good for you - you imagined it whenever you went down on Jungkook, but there was a difference between the two genitalia.
Now, it was like Jungkook was getting rid of an itch you never knew was there. You couldn’t contain your moans any longer, nor did he want you to. There was no pleasuring any women from the brothel and in the end, even after he came, he could never feel truly satisfied with himself.
Now, it’s different. It’s more intimate - pleasuring you the way he wants to. His demeanor changes entirely from that of the soft man she’s come to love to be around - to a man hungry for what's between her legs.
“K-Kookie!” you yelp once more at feeling fingers pierce through your entrance. Even then, he doesnt stop sucking your clit.
Jungkook hums, the vibration felt throughout your lower region. His eyes dart up at you and it causes him to groan. So beautiful, he thinks. The look of pure bliss on your face, eyes fluttering closed as pleasure shoots through you.
Jungkook leans back to watch intently at the way your pussy tightens around his fingers. He pumps in and out, your juices coating not only his fingers, but down his palm and to his wrists.
“I wish I can stay here with you forever.” Jungkook says, adding another finger to fill you even more. “I would treat you better. I would never make you cry.”
Jungkook is such a smooth talker, you think . But even so, you believed him. His eyes are much softer and even now as he’s fucking his fingers inside of you, he’s still so loving.
“Kook - shit!” Jungkook connects his lips back onto your already swollen clit and is determined to make you cum.
Your hands grip along the bedsheets, your thighs trembling. It was all too much to handle right now. Each time your hips would buck, Jungkook would just push you back down onto the mattress and plunge his fingers even deeper.
“I know you’re about to cum.” Jungkook purrs, then goes back to lapping your clit, his eyes watching your every emotion. His fingers are hitting your spot so sweetly that you can’t hold it back anymore, releasing the tension from deep inside of you with a shriek.
Jungkook’s chest is soaked entirely, but he couldn’t care any less. Instead, he removes his fingers from inside of you and licks them clean.
Your thighs are trembling even more now, your eyes closing and your chest heaving in an attempt to catch your breath.
There was no way Jungkook never done this before. Even from a different world, Jungkook had to have some similar characteristics of the other Jungkook - determined to make you cum regardless if it was never his mouth or tongue, not stopping until he had.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks you, kissing your lips gently. You tasted yourself on him.
You hum a lazy response.
“So cute.” Jungkook smiles. “Are you tired? Hungry? “ he tilts his head for a response. “I can go get those sugar things you like with the chocolate filling-“
“I want you to fuck me before we think about eating.” you sigh, tone serious. Your eyes flutter open until they’re no longer blurry.
Jungkook’s cheek flush at your words. “You don’t even look like you’re capable of-“
Jungkook’s left stunned when you manage to flip him on his back, hovering right above him. “Just needed a few seconds is all.” you say to him. “I really want to taste you, too but…I’m really impatient.”
Jungkook nods hastily as you go to remove his pants.
“I will next time. Promise.”
Jungkook isn’t upset about you not returning the favor - he didn’t expect you to. Having the opportunity to do anything with you was what he truly desired.
“Don’t we need some form of protection?” Jungkook asks when you’re hovering above him, ready to bring him into you entirely.
“I’m on birth control.” You shake your head with a giggle and Jungkook only appears more confused.
“What’s that?”
You tilt your head. “There’s no birth control in your world?”
Jungkook shakes his head slowly, trying to ponder how anyone can control something like-
Jungkook gasps, feeling you entirely. You’re so warm and wet and his mind is going crazy at feeling you entirely raw.
“The chances of getting pregnant are low when on birth control.” you explain, placing both of your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. “So it should be okay.”
Jungkook was going to take your word for it. His hands find your waist and it holds on it for support.
Your hips begin to rise and fall at a rhythmic pace, wet skin slapping against his own. Soon moans filled the room, both yours and his - and Jungkook wasn’t going to hide how good you were making him feel.
“Feel…so…good…” Jungkook huffs with each bounce on his cock. His eyes fight to focus on something for longer than a few seconds, but he can’t. Your breast bounces in his face and he tries to catch a nipple but fails a few times. Your face is so beautiful, contorted with pleasure as you take him.
“Does it?”
You lean back, your palms on his thighs. Your feet are pressed firmly onto the mattress and you continue your bouncing.
Jungkook hisses, the next position allowing him to go a bit deeper in you. You knew what you were doing, knowing exactly how to pleasure him just right. Jungkook wants to harm the other version of him - how could you go elsewhere when everything he needed was right here?
Jungkook opens his eyes to look at you and he grunts all over again. Your pussy is dripping all over him, creaming his cock so lovingly. There’s a white ring around his cock, evident of how much you were loving this.
“You’re so-“
“Beautiful?” you finished the sentence for Jungkook, giggling. You clench around him and Jungkook hisses.
“It’s true. You are.”
Your heart swells at his words - they aren’t just sex words. Often he would tell you how beautiful he thought you were and of course you were smitten. You thought it was your Jungkook, not this new Jungkook from a different world.
Jungkook allows his hands to roam your naked skin, goosebumps running along his arms. He hisses with a slight shake of his head. “You’re too g-good at this.”
“So were you.” you giggle, grinding against him. “Surprised you never pleasured a girl before.”
“I learn fast.” Jungkook licks his lips, pressing a thumb against your swollen clit, satisfied when you flinch.
While Jungkook's right hand plays with your clit, his left places itself on your ass and squeezes.
Jungkook flickers his eyes up st your face to find that you’re already looking at him. He gives a slight grin - the thrust upwards.
“Fuck, s-stop!” your body flushes with heat. “I was supposed to make you cum this time!”
“You are.” Jungkook hooks both of his arms beneath your thighs and then on your hips to keep you steady. “This birth control means I can cum in you?”
You bite your lip and nod and that's all the confirmation Jungkook needs.
Jungkook begins to pound into you, his pace entirely alarming and there's no build up to it. All he knows is that he’s wanted you for as long as he could remember and in this world he had you - you and whatever birth control was.
Soon the room is filled with wet squelching of your pussy being stuffed so full mixed with Jungkook’s grunts and your whimpers. Your arms wrap around Jungkook’s neck for support and this has Jungkook peppering your skin with kisses.
Jungkook doesn’t stop his pounding, not even when you're trembling and scratching along his back. He only snickers at your actions, far too enthralled in this moment that he doesn’t care what pain you might cause him.
“I-I don’t think-“
“Sshhh,” Jungkook presses his lips on yours to silence your whining. His teeth clap on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. “I know you can take it, baby.”
You came - an embarrassing moment for you. You didn’t hold in the shriek as you do so and it was entirely Jungkook’s fault - his insane stamina, his soft kisses on your skin and the dark whisper of a pet name.
Jungkook groans, your cum dripping out of you and onto him entirely. He could never get enough of you and each thrust has him hating the version of him that left you here crying.
“Gonna cum,” Jungkook huffs, kissing your face entirely. Your eyes are closed tightly and a few whimpers are releasing from your lips due to the overstimulation.
You clench around him as tight as you could to get Jungkook to cum and it works. A few sloppy thrusts and a deep moan later, Jungkook’s cumming deep inside of you - a wave of emotion shudders through his body.
You fall limp against Jungkook while your eyes flutter close. “So tired.” you murmur.
Jungkook places a kiss upon your forehead. “You don’t want those sugar things with the filling?”
You grumble, “It sounds like you want them.”
Jungkook does.
“I’ll put an order for them to be delivered.” you lift yourself and sigh. “How about you just take my phone and go get it? You remember the way?”
Jungkook nods his head and soon, you’re sleeping soundly on the bed.
Jungkook licks his lips as he gets dressed. Currency was different in your world. Though he worked, there was only a certain amount he could ever earn from his job, the rest went towards whatever the Government saw fit - funding the brothel and new technology to advance the world. Even being able to go somewhere and eat was a luxury - it was something the Government also controlled; when and how they got their food.
Jungkook opens the door to the room and stops dead in his tracks.
Jungkook blinks at the familiar face of himself. There’s a piercing on his eyebrow and lip and it causes Jungkook to tilt his head at it.
“What the fuck-“
Jungkook reacts entirely too fast, even before his mind can think of what to do. He watches as the version of himself falls back and holds his nose, blood pooling from his hand.
“You don’t belong here.” Jungkook murmurs , his voice dangerously low. “You don’t deserve her.”
Jungkook is surprised that you don’t awake - maybe you were that exhausted. He doesn’t stop punching until the version of him is unconscious and he’s covered in an alarming amount of blood.
Jungkook huffs. He grabs the versions of him arms and begins to drag him inside the room. He glances at your sleeping figure and feels an emotion go through him. He wants to love you the way you deserve - to care for you like he should be able to.
And with this Jungkook here, he never could.
Jungkook pushes towards the mirror, the ripple effect telling him that there was still time.
There’s a moan - he was waking up. Jungkook curses mentally to himself and pushes as hard as he could to this world’s Jungkook until he’s fully through the mirror.
Now, all he had to do was wait until it was time for the portal to be closed.
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Jungkook’s eyes open, shooting straight up. His eyes look around his surroundings - where the fuck was he?
This wasn’t his room - no, it couldn’t be. It was so dull, dark. Plain - where were the lights he had on his bed? Where were the mirrors he placed up?
Jungkook’s eyes the large window outside, noticing that lights were peaking through. There was a digital clock flashing red numbers. He shakes his head. “What the hell…?”
Jungkook turns towards the mirror in front of him, eyes wide as it begins to crack. He shields himself with his hands as mirror pieces begin to fly on him suddenly, the mirror breaking out of thin air.
Jungkook releases a deep breath, hammer in hand. His chest heaves, the mirror shards surrounding him entirely.
“Kookie?!”
You run inside the room, head flailing around to see what the commotion was. “How did the mirror…” your eyes glance down to the hammer in Jungkook’s hands.
It was now 6 A.M, Jungkook notes, and it was time for his world to wake and go on with their lives - without him.
“I thought you said you were gonna go shower?” Jungkook drops the hammer and turns towards you. “Sorry if I disturbed you.”
You sigh, shoulders relaxing. “It’s okay.” you say. “Is…is the portal gone?”
Jungkook nods his head, for now at least. He’s positive there was a way for him to return through a different mirror - but he had no intentions to. As long as the Utopian world Jungkook didn’t know how to return, he was satisfied.
“Good.” you smile at Jungkook, a genuine smile that warms his heart.
Good - it was good. Now Jungkook could have you like he always has - no strict rules, no Government forcing him to marry a woman he didn’t want.
Just you and him - you & this Jungkook - forever.
@seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111
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luvrxbunny · 7 months
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late night talking
Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Reader 
Prompt: Phone Sex
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mutual masturbation  (lmk if I forgot anything)
WC: 1.5k
A/N: GUYS IM SORRY I'VE BEEN LATE I SWEAR IM TRYING (not proofread *sobbing*)
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It’s around 1 AM when Eddie stumbles in, he’s high and just a teensy bit drunk. He has a stupid smile on his face because he’s expecting to see you nice and cozy in his bed. He walks into his room and is sobered by your absence, he speed walks quietly down the hall, making a beeline for the phone hanging off the wall. He’s thinking to himself as he puts your number in, trying to figure out why you aren’t here.
Was she taken? I bet it was Harrington, that motherfucker always wanted her. Dude can’t handle the fact she chose me.
Eddie has a prideful smile on his face as your phone rings. You pick up almost immediately. “Eddie? Are you okay?” His whole body relaxes at the sound of your voice, but… if you’re okay- seeming very un-stolen by Steve Harrington, then why weren’t you here? Sadness creeps into his chest. “Where are you?” He asks, voice completely deflated. He hears some shuffling before you answer him.
“I’m at my house, Eddie. Are you okay?” You ask him again with more force this time and he starts nodding before realizing you can’t see him. “Yeah. I’m okay… Why aren’t you here?” He sounds like he could cry- and he totally could. He gets more emotional when he drinks, and pairing that with the sensitivity he gets when he’s high you’re left with a crossfaded bundle of need and intimacy. 
You’d told Eddie that you wouldn’t be sleeping over at his place today, you guys’ midterms were starting tomorrow and you needed a good night’s sleep to not stress over them while testing. It’s not that you don’t sleep well with Eddie, it’s just that you guys can’t help but do a little more than sleep whenever you’re together. 
“Baby…” You start slowly, using that tone that Eddie loves. You’re talking to him like you’re breaking the news to a child that Santa isn’t real, full of pity, sadness, and love. It makes him all tingly inside. “I told you that I wouldn’t be there tonight.” He gasps softly into the receiver as the memory pops back into his head. “Remember..? I told you we have testing tomorrow and we both need to sleep. What are you even doing up this late? Did you just get home?!”
His spine straightens as your voice picks up, realizing that yes, he did just get home. Although he never confirms or denies, his silence is your answer. He hears you sigh into the phone and he slumps forward, disappointed in himself for not listening to you but then he realizes something. “Well, what are you doing up? You answered pretty fast, darling.” It’s your turn to go silent now. 
As previously mentioned, you and Eddie both have impressively high libidos, so every night you guys would be doing something, anything to get the other off. You stayed away from Eddie’s tonight so you could get some sleep instead of doing that. Unfortunately, it’s seemed to make its way into your routine so you’ve been fighting the urge for hours, unable to sleep a wink because of the incessant, hot, buzzing between your legs. Your body was begging for him, you’d tried to get yourself off for about 5 minutes before giving up. It just wasn’t as intense as when it’s Eddie’s hands on you, your body just wouldn't respond to you the same way. So you’ve been staring at your ceiling, praying for sleep to take you, and then Eddie called.
“Um…” He smiles, holding back a laugh as you try and figure out your answer. “I just miss you.” The message is sweet and heart-warming but you dropped your voice to that whisper you get when you need him. When he’s just practicing some chords and you don’t know how to ask him to take care of you. When you work your way over and tell him you ‘need his help’... you’re using that voice and he’s already getting hard. 
“Yeah? You miss me, baby?” His head looks both ways down the hallway as his hand comes to the front of his jeans, massaging his rapidly growing cock. “What do you mean? What do you miss, honey?” You’re squirming in bed, in Eddie’s t-shirt, and very ready for where this conversation is headed. Your hand has already made its way between your legs, rubbing yourself gently through your underwear as Eddie questions you. 
“I miss everything about you, Eddie.” You stick your hand into your panties, gathering some wetness to spread over your clit before pulling your hand out and rubbing yourself over your underwear. Eddie’s on the same wavelength as you, his hand now fully inside his boxers, teasing his leaking tip. He can hear your breathing quiver and his eyes roll back into his head. The fact that even though you’re both so far apart, you’re perfectly in sync. “Tell me about it, baby.” 
You whimper into his ear. “Eddie… Are you touching yourself?” His knees almost give out and he has to turn around so he can lean against the wall. His hand wraps around his cock and pulls up slowly as his eyes close, picturing you. “Yes.” You’re so silent that he thinks he answered wrong somehow and his hand stops. He’s waiting, listening- maybe you fell asleep. Then he hears it, the subtle whine in your breath and a slick noise behind the static of the phone. 
His hand moves again, stiffly in order to keep the phone perfectly placed on his ear to hear your noises. “Fuck, are- Are you touching yourself, love?” You moan his name into the receiver and slide your hand back into your pants, stuffing two fingers into your soaking pussy and whining to Eddie about how good it feels. You lay back onto your pillows, pulling the phone with you, and imagine that Eddie’s above you, that it’s his fingers stretching you out and pressing into your G-Spot. As if he can read your mind, Eddie prompts you. 
“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby. You’re real quiet over there, give me something to work with, love” You giggle lightly at his request and he groans in your ear, his hand squeezing around his cock as it pulses at the sound. “What? The thought of me isn’t enough?” He doubles his pace and shakes his head at no one. “Not when I’ve had the real thing f- for so long.” His words come out as a raspy whine, almost a sob as he continues. “How could you take her away from me?” You’re aroused yet confused at his words, you listen to him moan a bit before questioning him. “What- Eddie, who-” He cuts you off with a hushed sob. “Your pussy- need her so bad.” Your teeth tear into your bottom lip as moans try to fight their way out of your mouth. 
Eddie’s moaning about all the things he’s going to do to you and you can see them all perfectly, you can hear the truth in his voice, in everything he says. He’s whispering into the phone, making the whole ordeal even hotter. You had never stopped to actually think about why though, you pictured him in his bed, hand down his pants and legs spread for you. You’ve caught him like that before and the image plagues you constantly- but Eddie doesn’t have a phone in his room… 
Your pussy clenches onto your fingers as the image in your head shifts. Your head is now depicting Eddie as he truly is, back against the wall, phone in one hand and his other is shoved down his pants, moving wildly under the denim. You can’t hold in the moan that arises at the realization. “Eddie- Fuck, baby are you in your hallway?” He groans out a whimper into the phone and his cock begins to throb, his brain clouding over with thoughts of you, everything you guys have done, everything he wants to do, and everything you’d let him do. “Needed you.” That’s all he can get out before he’s giving you his little hushed sounds. You can feel yourself winding up, and the fire in your stomach begins to spread throughout your body. You’re gushing around your fingers as you listen to Eddie. You can tell he’s getting close, right on the edge and you want nothing more than to push him over.
“M’ gonna cum, Eddie. I-” You’re cut off by your whines as your hand leaves the receiver, using it to rub your clit, desperately working yourself closer to the edge. “Tried earlier but- I don’t feel like y-yo-” Your eyes roll back, your thighs shake and you try your best to hold all your sounds in but little whimpers make their way through the phone as your orgasm racks through you. You hear Eddie moan- probably louder than he should and a loud commotion. Your eyes are shut as you come down and you can hear Eddie moaning- then cursing- in the distance. 
You pry your eyes open and grab the phone again. “Eds?” He grunts out a few more curses and some chuckles before answering. “H-hey, sweetheart. I’m okay I-” He laughs at himself again, bringing a smile to your face with the sound. “I- My knees gave out. I fell” He sounds adorably embarrassed as you laugh at him He giggles along timidly and you assure him that it’s cute until you both fall asleep. 
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Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works, and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 7 months
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Hey I hope you have a great day.
So I just saw the post with the wrath of the creator on Azar and I had an idea.
I am very emotional and I bailed my eyes out when I did the chasm quest with xiao and he nearly died AND I got a sad cutscene of the adepti after so my traveler was just stuck in the dialog with Xiao while I was crying a whole waterfall and sniffing really loudly and the only other quest where I had that was when we were in the chasm with dain and he tells us that the hillichurls are cursed people from Khanri'ah. I stood in front of the corpses and cried heart out.
So I wanted to ask the characters reactions to that. Especially Xiao, the archons we know (because khanri'ah and its destruction is a big thing here) and dainsleif.
I'm sorry this got so long. If you want to change something or want to add someone or take a character out it's okay, this is just my 5 am thought I just had.
Alr, Anon! Coming right up! Imma just focus on the Perilous Quest lol-
Creator Having A Meltdown During Perilous Quest
(Warning: Might Be OOC & Spoilers to the Perilous Archon Quest!)
Yelan
She wasn't going to lie, she wasn't expecting you to cry your heart out so freely. Raw emotion was hard to come by when people grow. They tend to be more...seclusive, with their emotions.
You, on the other hand, were free-balling it. You did NOT care if people were gonna look at you weird, you are gonna cry because you are sad! And honestly, Yelan's glad that the Almighty Creator is expressive and sentient. It proves just how much you care for the characters.
"It seems the Almighty Creator is far more connected than anyone thought..." She wonders what she can do with this information, but at the same time, keep it under wraps. Letting this information slip into the wrong hands was always dangerous.
She wouldn't gamble your safety. Never. Safe to say Yelan's got you covered.
Itto
Woah, woah! He did not expect you, the Almighty Creator, to be crying their eyes out the moment he wakes up from passing out and all that—what he miss? What happened while he was sleeping?
Wait, they're not in the Chasm anymore? Oh Archons, someone just tell him what happened! Why the heck is the Creator balling his eyes out?
"Huh—? What's going on? We're out of the chasm?" Poor guy is so oblivious, and no one's bothering to fill him in—at least, at the moment.
He'll pester Shinobu about this later. Just, someone, stop the Creator from crying! Those are sad tunes, not something you want to hear when you should be celebrating about leaving that gloomy place!
Yanfei
She was NOT expecting you to be this emotional! Yanfei feels a little guilty not being able to do anything about it, to be honest...
She has to resist the urge to shake Xiao out of his stupor, because a) that was unprofessional, b) she's more relieved than anything, and c) Yanfei wasn't sure if you, the Creator, would think she was okay if she started acting out like that.
So, instead, she tries to ground herself, and do her best to make sure that the situation is fine, and that everything will be okay. That's the least she can do to reassure you, and everyone else, right?
"Hopefully, Their Grace will stop those tears...Hearing them sad makes me feel sad..." As a lawyer, Yanfei knows how to sympathize with her clients. This, however, felt like she could really understand what you were going through—there was a bond between you and everyone.
She doesn't want to make you sad. That's one thing for sure. Yanfei wouldn't be able to sleep out of guilt otherwise.
Shinobu
She wasn't expecting you to be crying your heart out, but she loves how sentient you are. It shows just how you truly care about Xiao, and about everyone.
She really appreciates you. She can see how you connect with every character—how you cheer with everyone, cherish the moment with everyone, rejoice, and mourn. This was visible proof of it all.
"Hm...How should we comfort Their Grace..." Shinobu wants to do something—for the sake of the gang's gratitude for their Almighty Creator. And everyone here as well.
You contributed much of yourself for them. For that, she's grateful.
She'll have to explain to Boss later...but that's besides the point right now.
Xiao
He feels guilty for making you cry. He heard you call out his name several many times. He hears how you ball your eyes out, thinking you were gonna lose him, only for Rex Lapis to save him just in time.
He doesn't know if the Lord of Geo heard your divine prayers, or if he went on his own accord, but he feels guilty. He placed a heavy burden on you. He didn't mean to.
"How should I make it up to Their Grace..." He listens to how you scream and cry (out of joy now) that he was alive. You, the Almighty Creator, already connected yourself to someone like him. Your bond was too severe, and he tried to cut it off.
But the way the Traveler is smiling at them with a reassuring smile, Xiao wonders if he will be forgiven. Perhaps far quicker than he imagined.
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: This honestly feels too OOC—I don't really know Yelan's personality all that well, and honestly I don't think I caught the full potential of Yanfei, Itto, and Shinobu. I do hope you enjoyed this, but I'm also sorry if this came out disappointing.
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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yandere-3-sagau · 1 year
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Hello! New anon here, idk if you do anything like this but i had an interesting thought the other day!
So yknow how you can name scaramouche right of course
So i named mine,,,,genuinely? Like i went out and looked up names (what can i say im down bad okay) and I found the name ‘Ena’ which means ‘gift from god’ (according to what i found-) or something like ‘blessed life’
So what if in a secret creator!sagau, the reader names him that and he dismisses it at first but then catches the reader having a look (sort of like a sad smile) every time they refer to him as that, so he finally asks what it means and they say its because they see him as being worthy of living. That they see him as a blessing from ‘the creator’ and they want him to see himself that way- (like not in a ‘more important than anyone else’ way, just in a ‘you exist therefore you deserve to live’ kinda way)
Idk if you like this but feel free to ignore this if you’re uncomfortable! Tysm for your time!
hehehe do you know that wanderer is my favorite? Quite similarly to you, I took my time searching for a good name. I named him Aziz. It’s an Arabic name and I thought it was fitting since his new beginning began in Sumeru, a place based on the middle east. While Aziz means to be strong and powerful, it also means dear, darling, and precious. If SAGAU were to ever be real, I would want him to know that he is precious and loved. <33
since this ask is about secret creator!reader, i am going to assume that wanderer is still unaware of your identity when you mention the meaning of his name.
Yandere!Wanderer x Secret!Creator!Reader
--
The wanderer didn’t really care for names. He’s had so many throughout the years that he could care less how people addressed him. 
So when the traveler gave him his name, he didn’t really think much of it. After all, it was a name given to him by his former enemy. What special meaning could it have? The traveler never explained it and he never thought to ask.
He kept the name for convenience but rarely ever used it. Many still referred to him as wanderer and he didn’t bother to correct them. There were times he had even forgotten that he had a new name. 
The first time he actually ever cares about his name is the first time he hears it from you. 
The name rolls so casually off your tongue it’s as if you’ve said it a thousand times. The soothing sound of your voice saying the name that belonged solely  to him makes him feel so strange that he doesn’t even realize that he’s never told you his name before. 
Though it sounds foreign at first, he quickly grows accustomed to being called his new name. 
However, every time you call him that name, you have a certain look in your eyes that he couldn’t quite understand. You look at him as if he holds the world in his hands yet it’s accompanied by a sense of sadness. 
Unbeknownst to him, every time you say his name, you’re reminded of his past. You think about how while erasing his previous names, he intended to erase his entire existence along with it and it breaks your heart. 
Though he has trouble recognizing emotions, he can sense your sadness.
Finally, he caves into his curiosity and asks why you always have that look on your face. Why you look like you want to cry whenever that name is mentioned.
“... do you know what your name means?” 
You gaze at him with such soft eyes that he almost forgets to answer.
“No, why?”
“Your name means ‘gift from god’ and ‘blessed life.’”
It takes some time to process, but after finally realizing what the meaning of his name is, the wanderer grows a bit angry. 
Gift from god? Blessed life?
The traveler must be mocking him.
How can he be a gift from god when he was abandoned by his mother, the God of Eternity? and what part of his life is blessed when he’s committed countless sins and all he’s experienced is tragedy. 
Wanderer remains silent but he can feel your gaze on him. Those eyes that to seem to see right though him. 
Later on, he approaches the traveler. 
“Why did you name me __?’“
The traveler pauses, surprised by the sudden question. 
“I... don’t know, if I’m being honest.”
Wanderer scoffs. “How can you not know? Are you mocking me?”
“No, I really don’t know. Now that I think about it, it really is quite strange,” the traveler says as they recall the moment the wanderer was named. 
“At the time, the name just slipped from my mouth.” 
“It just slipped from your mouth? You don’t even know what it means?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t. I’ve honestly never heard of the name before.”
Hearing this, the wanderer is a bit offended. It seems such little thought was put into his name. He thinks that maybe you were lying. He searched through many books in the Akademyia for the origin but he couldn’t find anything close to what you told him. 
The next time you call his name, he stops you. He tells you stop using it. Saddened, you ask him why.
“It’s a meaningless name and whatever you claimed it means doesn’t even suit me.”
“What do you mean? I...whoever named you must see you as a gift. Your life is a blessing to them.”
“The person that named me doesn’t even know the meaning.”
You grow quiet upon hearing this. You can’t refute him, unable to explain to him that you were the person to name him. 
You’re heartbroken that he thinks so little of himself. You want nothing more than to tell him that he really is a blessing. That he’s important to you and worthy of living. But you remain silent and he does as well. 
He stops going by that name and decides to go by wanderer instead. He’s confused by your eyes that well up with unshed tears when he asks you call him wanderer instead of the name you had given him. 
It isn’t until you are exposed that he understands.
You are the creator and it was you that bestowed the name upon him while you were living through the eyes of the traveler.
This revelation sparks so many questions. 
Why did you name him that? Do you really see him as a blessing? Does he really mean that much to you?
His heart is hopeful but more and more anxiety fills his being the longer his thinks about it. 
Are you upset that he stopped using his name? Do you think he isn’t proud of it?
He doesn’t know what he’d do if you decided to take it back. But even if you tried, he wouldn’t let you. Suddenly, it’s apart of who he is now - the basis of his identity. Anyone who calls him wanderer now is immediately corrected.
He wants to confront you but he hasn’t seen you since your identity was exposed. You’ve disappeared without a trace, leaving his heart empty.
Nothing but your voice can sooth his aching heart and he can’t rest until finds you.
Until he hears you call his name once more, now that he’s finally able to appreciate it’s meaning. 
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jvnluvr · 1 year
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blue lock boys when they are drunk ♡
when the blue lock boys come home drunk, all they want is you.
ft. sae, rin & kaiser x f!reader
author’s note: im a sucker for my favs okay? fluffiest fluff i’ve ever written i almost cried ten different times send help hsish. also thank you all for 100 followers, i love u all sm mwah. i’m working on requests, they will come soon! otherwise please enjoy <33
itoshi sae:
god, he didn’t even know how he ended up in this position. all sae could remember was losing his game, walking out of that stadium with his usual blank expression, but then his legs took him to the nearest bar. he’s so drunk, heck, he even remembers smoking a cigarette or two while he was chugging down everything. he's overcome with a lot of emotions, but then he remembers.
he wants to go home. he’s up, and he’s walking home. it’s late, its dark, yet he’s still able to somehow manage to get to the front step before he knocks on the door, holding onto it because he’ll fall if he doesn’t. that’s when you open the door and sae falls into your arms. "sae-? what happened?" you ask, trying your best to not let him fall while shutting the door.
you already knew he lost, you were obviously watching the streamed game. but when sae loses, he shuts everyone out for a day at the very least. however, it's weird to find him falling onto you, at your doorstep, and incredibly late at night. he smells like cigarettes, and that's when you understand what is going on.
"sit down, i'll get you water." you guide him to the couch, slowly trying to let go of his arm so you can lie down, but he doesn't let go of you. instead, he pulls you down with him so you're lying down on top of him. "uh, what's this about? you gonna talk to me..?" to say you're confused right now is kind of an understatement. sae hasn't spoken a word to you since he entered, just mindless grumbles and sighs until now, where it's almost like he's searching into your eyes for something.
"y'know, you're a whole lot prettier up close, right?"
what..?
your eyes probably looked bugged right now. you know he's not sober, but when people are drunk, their true feelings come out. sae's never really been an openly affectionate man, you knew that from the moment you met him. so hearing him suddenly throw a compliment into your face has you stunned to say the least.
"c'mon don't look at me like that... this is new to me too.." he mumbles, a red tint starting to appear on his cheeks. he grabs you by your waist to sit you on his lap, and you start to turn red too. "seriously, what's gotten into you sae?" you ask quietly, you both letting out a small chuckle as you stare at each other.
"i don' know.. it's your fault." you tilt your head as his one hand intertwines with yours. "you have beautiful eyes too.. you know that?" you let out a little gasp as your eyes avert away from him. you can feel your ears getting hotter and hotter as each seconds by. now you're actually worried, since when has he thought of these things?
sae put a hand on your cheek to turn you back to him. he has that soft smile plastered onto his face. your gaze softens as he continues talking to you. "you've always had.. that bright light in your eyes... even the first night we met. 't was what got me so interested in you." you bite your lip at that, small water drops forming into your eyes. it wasn't possible for your heart to not melt as those words. "the only thing.. i could think about.. was how much i liked you. how much my heart yearned for you. for how happy i am, to have you in my life now."
he wipes a tear of yours while eliciting that little soft but deep chuckle you always adored. "c'mon, don't cry, was just being honest.." he hugged you, burying his face into your neck and closing his eyes. you were almost certain that after that the alcohol consumed him, that he was too drowsy to even remember all the words he just said. but it's okay. for the chance you got to see itoshi sae confess his love in his own way. you whispered out an "i love you' before falling asleep beside him.
michael kaiser:
"babyy, i'm homee!" yeah, he was definitely slurring over each word he said. you walked out the kitchen, staring as kaiser almost fell atleast 5 times trying to walk over to you. it was hard to try and not laugh at how adorable he was being all tipsy, it was like he was a little child again.
“michael.” you giggled, trying to get him to sit on the chair but you both fell against each other on the floor. “that hurt!” his cheeks are more than just flushed and his eyes are half open. "who are ya, and where's my girlfriend?" to be honest, you were kind of hurt that he couldn't recognize you even while you were right in his face, but kaiser can be a little slow even when sober.
"c'mon michael, 'is me, your girlfriend." you retorted, wrapping your arms around him in an attempt to get him to sit down on a chair. but of course, kaiser being kaiser doesn't want to be apart from you for even a second, so he pulls you onto his lap. "i know, 'was just messin' with ya. i'm not that drunk, y'know?" you could only blankly stare at him as he confessed to that. even the dumbest person alive could tell that lie straight through his teeth.
"you are seriously not gonna tell me you aren't THAT drunk. you slipped over the fuckin' air." you both looked at each other, slightly grinning at that. silence. ah there it is, you both burst out laughing not even a second after, because you know it was true. "honestly though, you REEK of alcohol, go shower or somethin'." you tried getting off his lap, you really did. but does he care? of course not.
"no, 'm gonna stay here, too tired to shower..." you let out a small sigh at that, but if he wasn't going to get into the shower, you weren't going to let him doze off in his uncomfy chair. both of your backs couldn't take that kind of pain right now. "okay okay, we're both tired, let's go to bed, hm?" kaiser quietly grumbled as a counter, not wanting to let you go. at that point, your sounds started to sound more grumpy. you should have dragged him to bed when you had the chance.
"hiii babyy, i love you." kaiser suddenly said, with a smile hanging ear to ear. you didn't know what he was up to, but you just quietly ignored his statement of affection. "you're really cute when you're grumpy," he added, followed by a bunch of little mischievous giggles. "but you're cute all the time, so it makes it absolutelyyy irresistible to stay mad at you." you're so embarrassed by kaiser's sudden overload of compliments that, you start to playfully hit him? one hit to the arm, one hit to the head, and you continue in order to stop being so flustered by the drunk man in front of you.
"ow! i literally said you're cute, why are you hitting me- stop! ow!" even if you were hitting him, kaiser couldn't help but let out more laughs when he realized why you were hitting him. "aww, you're embarrased, aren't ya?" he pressed you for a kiss, but you just put your hand over his mouth to push him back. you couldn't take being more abashed over your extraordinarily drunk boyfriend.
"if you're not gonna accept my love, let me properly confess it, alrightt?" again, you were too afraid to even blurt out a single world in fear of stuttering and having kaiser coo into your ear about how cute you were. so you just looked at him, waiting for him to continue his speech. "got your attention, pretty? i've had a crush on you since the first time i met you, like the biggest crush ever, like the moment i saw you i swear those hearts appeared in my eyes like they do in cartoon shows." he was stuttering as the alcohol was still rushing in his system, but kaiser sounded like a little boy who had been lovestruck with the mere thought of you.
"you're so stupid sometimes.." you mumbled, but nonetheless giddy with happiness and love. "maybe, but i'm stupidly in love with you." all you could do was let out a sheepish smile before pulling him into a hug. "i love you.." and that was followed with snores. you didn't really plan on how to move kaiser out of this awkward position, but what you did know that he was a pretty cute lovestruck man when he was drunk.
itoshi rin:
rin isn't one to typically get drunk, he's not even one to have maybe more than three shots of alcohol at most. but tonight, he went completely overboard. maybe the drinks just tasted good, maybe he had lost his mind. not the matter of how he got drunk, but he was stumbling into your shared apartment when you just barely saw you peeking through your bedroom door through his blurry eyes.
"rin, are you okay..?" you murmured, slowing walking towards him. "mm, 'm fine, were you sleeping?" even if he was on the verge of passing out, rin was one of those guys who was able to maintain his composure. he didn't like how he felt, so he stride towards the kitchen, aching for a glass of water. "was waiting for you, did you drink, rin?" he turned around to see you standing there waiting for him.
"mhm, sorry, don't know what got over me. wait in the room for me, i'll be in there soon." he replied, turning back around to put his glass in the sink, but when he shifted back, he could still see you waiting his in peripheral vision. "what are you waiting for, [name]?" rin asked, still feeling the horrible effects of the alcohol continuing to flow through his blood stream. "i told you, 'm waiting for you." you knew that if you went back, he would fall asleep on the nearby couch, heck even fall and just pass out on the floor, he was drunk out of his mind.
"alright, c'mon let's go." he slowly trailed behind you, the cold air hitting him in the face when he realized he feels way too hot. rin slowly discards his jacket and his shirt, moving to lie down with you. but the one thing he couldn't help but notice is that you didn't make direct eye contact with him, your eyes are averted in every direction except his, why is that? maybe the reason he hated alcohol so much is because of what it does to him. he wants your attention, he craves for your touch, it's weird to him.
so rin extends his arm towards you, he has a hold on your waist before you're too close to him. "what's wrong..?" he examines you, how you're still not looking into his eyes. "look at me, why aren't you looking at me honey?" he's surprised that it does the trick, because your eyes are finally in his direct field of view, and his heart melts. "nothin', just thought you might have wanted to sleep, so didn't wanna' bother you." you answered shyly, realizing now that he wanted nothing more than you. it's silent for a bit, just the both of you in each other's embrace, lying down in the dark.
"mm, you don't bother me, you know that?" he starts, rin doesn't realize that all of sudden he's rambling to you. "i say you shouldn't be nervous but the truth is.. i'm always a bit nervous around you. we've been together for a while but.. i don't know.. i just.. always want to know more about you. it drives me insane sometimes, 'cause i don't usually care about people like that. but for you i just-" he's pulling you closer into your chest, noticing how your grip tightens on him as he continues speaking. "i just want to know every tiny detail about you. i notice the small things about you. the way your smile goes slightly down, you touch the tip of your eyes when your embarrassed, and you always touch the same spot-" he intertwines his hands with yours, rubbing over the spot he's just about to mention. "you always touch the same spot of your hand when you're focused. i pay attention to those things because i care about you, i hope you knew that."
"rin.." you whisper, it's all you could physically verbalize. but all you could feel were the hot tears you were spilling onto his chest. you felt guilty, quickly trying to wipe them away, but he looked down to hush your sobs. "'m sorry, didn't wanna make you cry. i meant it though, even if i don't say it much." it's undeniable that you just want to be even closer to him than humanely possible, you wouldn't dare think of even letting him go for a second after that. "i think you should get drunk more often," which dragged a small string of chuckles from you two. "being drunk sucks, but we can compromise and i'll try and tell you how much i love and want to be with you more, yea?" rin shared, fumbling over his words. yep, still definitely drunk.
"mhm, go to sleep now, 'kay?" you acknowledged, content with how tonight turned out to be. "you go to sleep too, i love you." and rin let himself pass out in the comfort of your presence. not only until a few moments later could you say 'i love you' back, but he was secretly waiting to fall asleep until he heard confirmation of your feelings.
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readychilledwine · 7 months
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A Father's Love
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Summary - Eris comforts his pregnant mate after a small breakdown. Eris x pregnant!reader
Warnings - pregnancy and mental health
A/N - This isn't something I've previewed, but I had to use some of the things my baby daddy said to me in a drabble (because oof my heart exploded) and it felt nice to have an outlet for the icky pregnancy guilt and worries Im dealing with. Hopefully, you all melt at this, too..
ps- I'm thinking about adding a dad drabble series masterlist to my page. Let me know if you'd like that.
Word count - 550
Eris held your hand from across the table, the calloused pad of his thumb dancing across and between your knuckles as you cried.
"No one said it would be this hard," another round of sobbing shook your shoulders. "No one said we would ride this high and reality would hurt when it crashed." Eris just nodded. Staying silent and allowing you to vent while those amber eyes softened in love and concern.
You rose your shaking free hand, wiping the warm tears from your face. "And then to top it all off, I'm so selfish right now I did not even notice you were worried or a shift in your emotions. I didn't even feel it through the bond-"
"Stop." Eris demanded. His tone was still gentle, but he was firm, his face now set in a serious line. "Do not even concern yourself for a moment with my feelings or needs right now. We are talking about you."
"That's the problem, the past 8 months have been about me and what I want, what I need, what the I'll need after birth, what baby will need. What about you, Eris? When do we discuss what you need?"
He moved to you, then, feet guiding him gracefully across the floor as he placed your hands on his warm chest. You could feel his heartbeat, pacing in its soft rhythm, and it calmed you enough to bring you back from the tipping point you were approaching. "I am not the one whose body is constantly changing," he began. "I am not the one who is about to have to change my diet, my habits, and ignore my wants for the next year to feed our child." 
He leaned in kissing your forehead. "I am not the one who asked to wait a few more years then had to cry alone for several weeks until I was ready to talk about how our protection failed. I am not the one sacrificing so much. You are, my love. We will talk about me and my needs when they matter."
He smiled softly. "Besides, I picked her name. I picked her coming home outfit. I picked her nursery colors, her first stuffie, her toy room theme. If my opinion was given, you immediately compromised or switched plans." His hand went down to your swollen stomach. "You didn't even allow anyone else to feel her until you ensured I did first."
You still sniffled. "But aren't you mad?"
Eris looked slightly taken back, two fingers coming to tilt your fallen chin up and ensure you held eye contact with him. "You are growing my legacy, our child. How could I be mad at you for being in pain, tired, or crying? There's no words I can say to express how blessed and grateful I am." Your jaw trembled as he leaned in and kissed you. "Do you understand?" You nodded, and he stared at your stomach, waiting. "Someone needs her mommy to take a few deep breaths, drink a hot chocolate, and have a snack." Eris moved, instantly over to the cabinet you two had been hiding your cravings in and pulled out your box of chocolates. "Let's go be lazy, read in bed, and eat these." He held a hand to you, waiting for you to take it and smiled widely when you did. "There's my girl. Now, regular hot chocolate or fancy hot chocolate?"
You sniffled again, significantly more calm this time as he led you into your shared bed chambers. "Fancy."
He smiled again, kissing your forehead, then your nose. "Get changed, get comfy. I'll be back with hot chocolate smothered in marshmallows and whipped cream."
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revehae · 2 months
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party monster
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pairing ↠ best friend!jennie x (f) reader (but not really)
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, thoughts of noncon, sub!jennie, oral, noncon recording, monsterfucking
summary ↠ for years you’ve crushed on jennie kim, your best friend, the queen of queens, the party monster. but it seems that you’re not exactly her type.
wc ↠ 3.3k
a/n ↠ this is my first time writing this kind of fic in 6 months so i am unfortunately quite rusty…
don’t like it, don’t read.
she looked like royalty on top of him. 
you couldn’t deny it - you could never deny jennie anything. how could you? she was funny, enchanting, downright beautiful, and she was your friend of many years.
your best friend, to be exact. it was a title you were proud to claim, one you had never taken for granted. you had always been there, whether she needed to laugh or she needed to cry, and you would always be there for whatever she needed. 
but apparently, she didn’t need you for this.
it was not your intention to find her this way, to be fair. in your search for an empty bathroom, chance had led you to the one connected to the bedroom your best friend and her boy toy occupied. you had only come here in need of relief, but in her own way, jennie yearned for something similar.
yet so different all at once. you knew her voice when it came to your ears, even if it was at a pitch and with a breathlessness you had never quite heard, and your curiosity had gotten the better of you. they must have been too lost in the haze of their arousal, because they never seemed to notice they’d left the bathroom door open for all the world to see.
and you did see. you saw her on top of this nameless boy, her cashmere dress in a heap on the floor, sweat gathering at her soft skin and glimmering in the moonlight like precious pearls. you saw how pleasure took her by its gnarled hand, her lips crying the cries of angels. you saw how his greedy hands were all over her, touching her, surely not knowing just how lucky he was. 
you could only stand there, trembling with the intensity of an emotion you had never known this deeply. there was a hot throb in your chest as cruelly it tightened, and in the same moment you could hear this nameless boy swearing about how tightly she was wound around him.
in that moment, she had taken a form you had never seen of her before, becoming a thing so violently unknown to you, and all you could think about was how none of it was for you. it was certainly not the first time she’d whored herself out to someone that wasn’t you, but seeing it happen in front of you was different than being regaled on the tales. 
those boys were faceless, something you could convince yourself never existed as you pictured only jennie’s cries of ecstasy. even now, this nameless boy wasn’t so nameless anymore as you heard it fall brokenly from her lips.
but it’s okay, you consoled yourself, turning away from the door. you could fix her.
that had been three months ago at least. you were still doing everything in your power to come up with something to salvage your broken heart with, in spite of already knowing jennie got around, but you had come short of viable options.
and like that fateful night all those months before, you were at another party, because nights in new york were when party monsters like jennie came to life. and as to expected of her, she’d strutted inside sporting this lacy dress, the same vibrant red color as her lips. 
she was stunning in red. 
it was something you had told her more than once. you took your role as jennie’s best friend as though you were the queen’s aide, and in a way, that wasn’t so far from the truth. she was the queen of queens, the party monster, and a woman of her caliber had to look nothing less than like art at every party she set foot on.
that red cashmere dress lived in your head. you had been the one help her decide, and yet some boy had been the one to take it off.
“hey, where’s jen?” rosé asked, poking her head around the corner. 
“no idea,” lisa said, finishing what was left of her exquisite wine.
the two girls glanced toward you. of course they did; you were jennie’s best friend. apparently, you were supposed to know what she was up to at all times.
you sighed, peeling yourself off the sofa and sitting your drink on the table. “i’ll look,” you started. “but if she’s somewhere getting dicked down again, you’re going to make an enemy out of me.”
rosé blew you a kiss. “thanks, beautiful.”
“yeah, yeah,” you grumbled, giving your drink one last longful glance as you stepped out of the room.
you took a guess that rosé had come from the main hall and if she hadn’t scouted jennie there, then there was a fair chance she was in one of the upstairs rooms. getting dicked down, you thought disheartenedly, but you searched nonetheless.
you had only seen her that way once and it was something you surely never wanted to see ever again. the memory of the thunder in your chest still lingered and maybe the feeling itself hadn’t exactly faded.
what would it take for her to understand that she was yours? she may not have realized it yet, but you were everything she needed. you could please her in ways she’d never imagined, take her to heights that’d never before been. 
you stilled when you heard her voice, almost walking straight past the door. it was of some kind of relief that there were no moans, and she seemed to be quietly chatting about something. with the door barely open, you slipped inside, hoping that it wouldn’t creak.
it took all of two seconds to recognize her, standing at the edge of the bed, but there were no words to describe the horror on your face when you saw the thing next to her.
deep black in color, draped in some slick, indigo substance that coated it smoothly, and towering two feet over her. teeth that could kill with one slight graze. it didn’t look of this world. and yet, jennie didn’t seem afraid; she looked exasperated.
“i thought i told you to stay home,” she hissed, glaring up at the creature. whatever the hell it was.
the alien-like creature seemed indifferent, from what you could make of its features. “hungry,” was all it said.
jennie didn’t seem impressed. “you were fed before i left.”
“hungry,” it repeated, raspier, brushing a long finger down her dress.
jennie slapped its hand away, shaking her head. “no, not here. there’s people, carnal.”
carnal said nothing, overcome by a need that went beyond the bounds of human desire, and returned its finger to her dress. for a second, you thought that it would tear it to shreds, but instead it unzipped the back quicker than she could dispute.
you could hear her whining, but carnal was intent on taking and little would come between that purpose. jennie gasped when it took her by the arm and tugged her onto the floor, silently demanding in its approach, all the while her pretty red dress was tossed into oblivion. 
for whatever reason, the sight hadn’t troubled you like it did not too many moons ago. it intrigued you. part of you wanted to emerge from the cloak of the shadows to rescue her from this creature, but the other wanted to watch and see how this would unfold.
jennie’s eyes burned fiercely of ire. “i won’t do it.”
carnal glanced down at her and you swore the sight gave you shivers, but jennie didn’t move. “no?”
“no.”
you had to restrain yourself from gasping when carnal grabbed jennie by strands of hair at the back of her head. it forced her mouth onto its cock, a death grip on her tresses. her whimpers of protest were muffled, meaningless little sounds that no one would bother to hear.
it would be a lie to do otherwise, and thus you had to confess to yourself that you were bemused by the sheer size of its girthy cock. jennie could hardly fit anything an inch longer than the tip into her mouth. it stroked her limits, sped right by them.
but the part that bemused you even further was how after a minute or three, jennie didn’t seem to hate it. there was no way in hell your eyes were making up the way she sucked in every bit she could take, eagerly bobbing her head.
the muffled cries waned into muffled moans, and for no good reason. no efforts were being taken to please her in return. she was this meek little thing on her knees before an otherworldly creature with a name far too apt.
carnal did not react too strongly, but you had to assume that jennie’s potent greed did a number on it. she wasn’t going anywhere, yet the death grip on her hair only got tighter. what she couldn’t fit between her stained lips, she took in her hands and kneaded between her supple fingers.
your mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, stretched across a plane of thought. you were strangely immersed in the horrors in front of you, but your questions wandered. every moment that passed, you wondered if maybe you’d had a little too much to drink.
this was a dirty little secret that even you never knew your best friend had. you couldn’t even begin to fathom how this strange creature could be more than a figment of imagination, and you decided that it wasn’t. it would spare you the headache.
you could see the indent on jennie’s hollowed cheeks, hear the wet noises coming from her lips. perhaps it was stranger that you didn’t hate it. only moments ago you had been prepared to curse whatever idiot of a boy you found her with, and now you were quieter than a mouse.
jennie looked like a pebble at its feet. the beast was more massive than you cared to admit aloud, with a strength that spoke for itself, and a cock that promised total destruction and not anything less. it must’ve been part of the allure for her, because you had never seen her so eager.
and why would she be? the queen of new york city herself never had to ask for anything twice, if at all. it would be an honor for anyone to behold her bare form, but none of that power manifested here in this bedroom. she was sucking carnal off like a common whore begging for a dollar.
your memories reeled back to some instances, not many but a few, where you had noticed her visibly adjusting herself after what you could only assume had been a brief sexcapade in a closet somewhere. and for a moment you stopped to wonder if those faceless people you imagined her with had not been boys, but this damned beast.
it almost made you angrier, trying to fathom how this thing had better chances than you did at pursuing her, and all it took was a little force. had you known that, you would’ve staked your claim to her already.
greed was heavy in the air and you saw carnal seize control after allowing jennie to do as she pleased with it, fucking her mouth harder than she could manage. you couldn’t help but be aroused at the sound of her harshly choking. but she didn’t give up, taking every thrust.
quiet sounds escaped carnal’s mouth, raspy to the ears. it did not have much to say, you’d noticed, and it didn’t need to say much either. you could tell that they’d done this countless times before, because they slipped into this as though it was routine.
maybe you were making it up in your mind, but you could’ve sworn that the room had soared a thousand degrees hotter. part of it was ire on your end, but you couldn’t deny the ache in your core. to see her this way, meek and pliant, brought out an insatiable hunger within you.
by the second carnal’s thrusts were becoming more erratic, its self control seemingly unraveling hard. you were impressed that jennie hadn’t begun to choke again, in spite of the relentless pace. you were certain her jaw strained from the effort, but she still made herself a perfect little toy.
you recognized the brink of ecstasy when you saw it and carnal was at the very cusp. its groans even became a little louder, coming from the back of its throat. the only other thing you could hear was labored breathing and the wet smack of jennie’s lips.
you wouldn’t have wanted to cum that way, you would have wanted to be buried every inch deep between her legs, but after a short moment, the thrusts came to a still and carnal growled. given your angle and the darkness, it was hard to see, but you partly saw the leftover cum she couldn’t swallow drip from her chin.
jennie pushed her mouth off, wiping her lips. her naked chest was heaving for breath. when she stood, you could see the shimmer of tears in her misty eyes. she looked like a train wreck. 
not a moment later, carnal tore her towards the bed and she gave a high squeak of surprise. your gaze was fixed to her every movement. on the bed, carnal hoisted her into the air as though she was featherlight and sat her over it. jennie reached for its shoulders.
but carnal, on the other hand, had reached for something else. to your surprise, it began to lubricate her comparatively smaller cunt with its own indigo slick. jennie whimpered, arching into its long, thick fingers as they ran across her folds. there was no doubt that she had become aroused simply by pleasuring this creature, and you could only imagine the ache in her core. 
it must’ve been similar to yours. this incessant throbbing that yearned to be soothed; a hunger to touch or be touched.
“carnal,” jennie whined. “please, please…”
carnal didn’t seem to be listening to her borderline anguished cries of desperation, its fingers stretching her cunt open, almost like it was preparing her to take something much larger. but nothing was enough for an insatiable little minx like jennie. 
“i don’t care if it hurts,” jennie added, to your shock. “i just want you to fuck me. please, carnal?”
carnal slipped its fingers out of her lubricated pussy and jennie made a noise of discontent at the emptiness, in spite of it being what she had asked for. it was too dark to be certain, but you swore that for half a second, there was a dark gleam of hunger in its heavy eyes.
the alien-like beast hoisted jennie up in a single arm and steered its cock to her entrance in the other. it was still stiff in its palms, and you got the feeling that it would take far more than one orgasm to sate a beast of its nature.
it didn’t seem to be concerned with taking its time or allowing her room to adjust to the stretch, but the look on jennie’s face told you that it was what she wanted. there was pain on her lips and pleasure in her eyes, the two being bred into something lethal.
“oh my god,” jennie moaned, tightening her grip on carnal’s shoulders. 
carnal grasped her hips, using her as though she was merely some kind of toy rather than a human capable of being wounded. it lifted her up and down its thick shaft, leaving her to do nothing but squeeze her eyes shut and hold on for dear life.
you swallowed hard. when she was being used by a beast two times her size and infinitely stronger than herself, your best friend looked less and less human. she didn’t look like something worthy of respect or dignity. had you not known any better, you would’ve thought she was just some whore.
this was something that you had never seen, something different than before; when you saw her then, she was taking her power, but seeing her now, all of it had been reaped from her body.
deep, guttural grunts escaped the back of carnal’s throat as it rutted into her savagely, at a rhythm that rendered her thoughtless. jennie’s tears stung her eyes yet she kept babbling incoherently, addicted to the agony. there were red lines on her skin from where its nails had dug into her, but from how tight she clung to it, carnal was bound to have plenty of its own.
maybe in some sick, twisted way, the pain and the fear heightened the sensations of ecstasy that it tugged her nearer to every second of every minute. there was no pleasure without pain, and the promise of both had tempted jennie far beyond the point of no return. she was a fiend, you realized, for things that were bad for her.
somewhere in the midst of your astonishment of watching your best friend getting railed by nothing less than an unworldly beast, you remembered your anger, your frustrations. a thought a struck you then, selfish in nature, but bound to work in your favor. 
you pulled your phone from your rear pocket and opened the camera, getting it to focus on the two unlikely partners that were showing one another other worlds. if jennie knew you had proof of this tryst, she wouldn’t turn you down for anything. you weren’t sure why you hadn’t thought of the idea sooner.
jennie threw her head back, calling out for carnal. “harder,” she whispered.
carnal silently obliged, but it appeared more like it had lost whatever remained of its self-restraint. jennie’s sounds became louder then, higher in pitch, and you couldn’t miss the way her brows furrowed together. 
your camera didn’t, either.
the sound of sex filled the room at an unfathomable intensity. there was a very obvious wet, slick squelch of their skin meeting that anyone could have heard if they walked just shy of the door. jennie’s cunt had already been drenched with arousal on its own, but the addition of carnal’s slick didn’t help.
you almost couldn’t stand it and that feeling was inexplicably amplified knowing that whatever this thing was she surrendered herself to wasn’t even human. but you were embraced by the comfort that you would be its place soon, whether she wanted it or not.
you were imagining it. if you closed your eyes and listened only to the sound of jennie’a pretty little voice, you could picture that it was you she was making all those pitiful sounds for.
“fuck, i’m so…,” jennie trailed, unable to even get the words off the tip of her tongue. 
but she didn’t need to say it. carnal saw it. you saw it. hell, anybody half as curious as you were could have been right here, about to witness it. she was on the brink of climax, the cusp of ecstasy, and it was unkind.
and as much as it angered you, you couldn’t bear to tear your eyes away for a minute. you had to know what it was like, to see her truly unravel, to lose herself in the highs of pleasure and the throes of sex.
jennie brought a hand to her naked chest, pinching her own nipple. you could see moonlight shimmering on the beads of moisture that clung to her, dancing on the misty haze of lust in her eyes. 
it was at that moment you saw the party monster for what she really was. the intensity at last was too much for her to handle and jennie shuddered with climax, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and her toes curling. she cried out the prettiest whimper, singing a name that wasn’t yours.
and somehow none of that mattered, because the beast she let ravage her wasn’t finished. it tossed her onto the bed and continued, fucking her like an animal, like a monster.
you had seen enough. you had what you needed. with the promise of satisfaction vying against the contempt simmering deep within you, you slipped out where you had came.
too soon to see her eyes fade pitch black.
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