#because the friends i had when i was still dating him havent reached out since

[lovelookspretty]

lover of mine

drew starkey x actress!reader au

— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.

warnings: sexual themes !! but eek another cliffhanger i fear yall are gonna eat me alive

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven

authors note: i havent slept and its 8am because ive been writing this for U GUYS 😞 let me know if u would like to be part of the tag list tho thru replies, anons, or dms !! notifications are always on <3

drew jolts awake, his heart racing from whatever dream he’s already forgotten. he blinks against the early light streaming through the curtains, his eyes squinting as he scans the room. instinctively, his hand reaches for your side of the bed, but it’s empty.

“y/n?” he murmurs, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. his brain tries to catch up to his surroundings, still sluggish from sleep.

just as he’s about to throw the covers off and go looking for you, the door creaks open. there you are, balancing a tray in your hands with a small but proud grin on your face. his lips curl into an instant smile at the sight of you, and it’s relief that washes over him.

“good morning,” you draw out playfully, your voice teasing as you approach the bed. drew watches, amusement in his eyes.

“what’s all this?” he asks, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes but already intrigued by the spread.

you gesture to the tray proudly, listing off the items you’ve prepared. “made us both some eggs, bacon, toast . . . oh, and fresh fruit,” you say, pointing at the colorful array of berries on the side. “figured i’d bring it to you since you were still sleeping.”

he chuckles, sitting up properly and glancing over at the tray with a grin. “so did the others get the same royal treatment?” he jokes, looking up at you with raised eyebrows.

“obviously.” you nod, a smile tugging at your lips. “the girls and i were up early making breakfast for everyone. the guys are already up and eating, but i thought I’d bring yours here. you know, special delivery.”

he shakes his head, still smiling as he takes it all in. “so, breakfast in bed? don’t mind if i do.”

“shut up,” you say as you crawl onto the bed carefully, setting the tray between you both.

as you settle beside him, drew is already popping a blueberry into his mouth. he chews thoughtfully, an amused look crossing his face. “you know,” he says, pausing to finish his bite before continuing, “you never did stuff like this when we were together.”

you glance at him, casual as ever. “we were always too busy,” you reply nonchalantly, reaching for a piece of bacon. “i don’t think we ever really had time to eat breakfast together in the mornings, or whatever.”

it’s such an offhanded comment, one you barely think twice about, but drew does. his fork hovers mid-air as your words sink in. he realizes how right you are—there was always something else, always a rush to be somewhere or do something. sure, you spent time together, but not like this. not with simple, meaningful moments that could’ve mattered.

his thoughts flicker back to the night before, to the messages he saw on his phone. that nagging feeling from last night returns, tugging at him. he quickly glances over to the nightstand, his head whipping around so fast that it draws your attention immediately.

you laugh, startled by his sudden movement. “dude, are you alright?” there’s amusement in your voice, but you look at him with mild concern.

he blinks, pulling himself together, and his heart beats a little faster. “yeah, yeah, i’m fine,” he replies quickly, trying to shake off the tension that suddenly crept in. he flashes a quick smile, picking up his fork again and taking another bite. “just thought i, like . . . misplaced my phone or something.”

you raise a brow at him but let it slide, not thinking much of it as you continue eating.

drew takes a bite of the eggs, and his eyes flutter shut as he lets out an involuntary moan. his hand flies to his mouth, covering it as he starts to laugh, almost embarrassed by how dramatic his reaction is. “oh my god . . .” he mumbles, shaking his head like he can’t believe it.

you look over at him, confused but amused by his reaction. “what?” you ask, smiling, not quite getting what’s so funny.

he finishes chewing, still grinning, and gestures at the eggs with his fork. “these. i know it has to be you who made the eggs.”

you raise an eyebrow, genuinely puzzled. “what do you mean?”

“there’s just something about the way you make them,” he explains, his voice sincere. “i don’t know what it is, but it’s like i could pick your eggs out of a million different versions. they’re always so . . . perfect. they melt in my mouth every time.”

you laugh, slightly bashful but clearly appreciating the compliment. “whatever,” you say, though you’re smiling. “they’re just eggs.”

he shakes his head, still smiling back at you. “no you’ve got, like, the magic touch or something.”

curious now, you take a bite of your own eggs, chewing thoughtfully before pausing. you look over at him, nodding slowly in agreement.“you’re right. these are good.”

drew laughs at your half-joking realization, and you can’t help but join in. the moment feels light and easy, like a glimpse of what things used to be, even if it’s just for a second. “told you,” he teases, leaning into you as he takes another bite.

you grin, leaning back into him. “okay, fine, maybe i do have a magic touch.”

the laughter fades, leaving a comfortable silence as you take another bite of your breakfast. it’s easy, almost natural, how quickly you fall into this rhythm—like no time has passed. drew shifts beside you, the subtle change in his posture drawing your attention.

he clears his throat, looking over at you. “thanks . . . by the way,” he says, and you look at him as he gestures to the food. “for breakfast. this is really nice.”

you give him a small smile, nudging him playfully with your shoulder. “just don’t get too used to it.”

you’re laughing and singing songs with the girls as you make your way down to the beach. you’re only really carrying your towel with you as you skip down to an open spot. libby’s protecting her large floppy hat as she runs there with you, shouting that you all should make camp here.

you look behind you and wait for the others. you spot drew immediately as he carries the bluetooth speaker in one hand but on his opposite shoulder is the large tote bag you gave him earlier. he posed for you when you said he looked like a mother.

“hurry, hurry, hurry!” you say, mainly to drew, because he has the groups shared essentials. “i can literally feel my skin aging the longer you guys take.”

roman trudges through the sand, clearly not enjoying the trek, even though it’s better than if they didn’t stay at a beach house like they are now. “you know, if you’re so concerned about your skin aging, maybe you should’ve thought about that before today,” he says, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

gia grimaces at how stupid he is. “or maybe you should’ve thought about showering before leaving the house, babe,” she says, then continues walking over until she reaches you and libby.

roman stops in his tracks, feigning offense. “i’m literally holding your second bag to the beach. like who even does that?” he gestures dramatically to the extra tote slung over his shoulder.

theo comes up from behind and pats his shoulder to say that it’s okay as he passes by, so roman mumbles something under his breath as he continues.

eventually, you’re stripping down to your bikini as you watch the waves. you unbutton your shorts and pull them down, shimmying out of them before tossing them onto your towel that’s already been laid out.

you pull your hair away from your face as you look toward the group. “is anyone going in the water?” you ask them, but there’s several no’s and not yet’s that make you frown.

“i’ll go in later maybe,” theo volunteers for you. “i just came down here to bring the chairs and set my towel down but i still need to cook the hotdogs in the backyard.” he’s pointing behind him, and you groan.

“so boring,” you mumble as theo nudges oscar before they start heading back to the house to begin making late lunch already.

“y/n?” gia says as she plans on handing you the sunscreen next. she and roman have already had a turn as they share their towel together. roman looks as grumpy as ever as he rubs the sunscreen into his skin while gia sits pretty and tries to keep her hair out of her face.

you drop to your knees on your towel and shuffle forward to reach for the bottle that gia hands you, and you plant your butt back down on your towel.

drew finishes setting up the speaker for leila to play her music, and he glances over just in time to see you about to apply sunscreen. he hesitates for a moment, then clears his throat, “you want some help?”

you look up, a bit surprised but also amused. “are you volunteering?”

“maybe,” he replies, “just thought i’d help out.”

you bite your lip, considering it. “okay, but just my back, please.” you’ve already squeezed some sunscreen into your hand so you decide to spread it on your legs while he gets to work on your torso.

he steps onto your towel and crouches down behind you. as his hands glide over your skin, you can’t help but sigh in relief. “you’re kinda really good at this. i feel like i’m at a spa.”

drew grins, glancing at you. “guess i’ve picked up a few tricks over the years.”

there’s a moment of playful silence as you finish your legs, and he begins massaging the sunscreen into your shoulders. you tilt your head back a little, relishing in the feeling.

it almost feels nice to recognize the familiar hands across your skin. he’s dipping down toward your chest as he settles down to get closer, reaching around you. you make it easier by leaning back against his chest while watching his hands, making sure he’s not doing anything he shouldn’t be.

but it’s like you’re in a daze as you witness the way he rubs it into your chest, around your bikini top, and down to your waist. he knows your body well enough to know that he’ll cause goosebumps immediately, and he does.

a part of you feels guilty, like it’s almost wrong—but it is all for the plan, right? you make up the excuse for yourself as drew’s hands move back up, edging the bottom of your breasts as your breath hitches. you hear his breathing by your ear as you watch him be so careful, so cautious with where he touches you.

but before it goes any further, he pulls away, and honestly, you think it's a smart choice. you swallow down whatever you just felt as you pull yourself together, and you glance behind you as he gets up. “thanks, star,” you murmur, and you hear a faint ‘uh-huh’ as he sits back to do his own.

you make sure he’s rubbed everything in briefly before turning back to see what he’s doing. he’s already spreading sunscreen onto his arms when he catches your eye, and there’s a smile when he understands the situation.

he nods to the bottle that’s just laying on the towel, and you know what this means. that it’s alright if you want to help him too.

you take the bottle into your own hands and squeeze some out onto your palm, then crawl behind him to sit down. you work on his back for a while, and you can’t help but admire him while he can’t see you.

you notice everything. the way his back muscles flex, how he flinches the moment your hands touch him, but also the way he relaxes into your touch the second after.

he’s waiting patiently for you, and you hear him chuckle a bit after you finish, so you crawl on all fours to sit down in front of him. you give him a look, asking if he’s already done it yet, but he shakes his head.

you smile to yourself as more sunscreen lands in your palm, and you massage it into his shoulders first. he sits up straight for you as you slowly make your way down.

you can’t tell if he’s flexing his abs as a joke but you look up at him and make eye contact, just inches away, and you smile at each other. he’s stupid but it still amuses you regardless.

he leans back and holds himself up by his palms, looking up to the sun. his eyes are clamped shut as he scrunches his nose briefly.

you move your hands lower until you reach his v-line, a little underneath the hem of his shorts. you shouldn’t be going there but you do anyway. he tenses immediately when you start and you know what you’re doing—you can’t help it—but you pull away and spread the remaining sunscreen on his face to make sure he’s fully covered. you feel like a mother when you do, but ignore it.

“i appreciate it, thank you,” he says to you, and you close the sunscreen bottle and toss it back over to one of the open chairs in case anyone else needs it.

with that, you get up, looking toward the water as you adjust your bottoms. you look back at drew, “come on.”

“what?” he says out of habit, before realizing what you’re talking about. “no.”

“come on,” you say again as you walk to him and grab his arms, then his wrists, to pull him onto his feet. you know he’s willing because you’re even able to move him.

you let go of his wrists as you make your way over to the water. “let’s go! just for a bit! you can just dip your feet in.”

drew doesn’t say anything but him rolling his eyes tells you everything. he’s so sassy, but it makes you grin as you hold your hand our for him to take. he’s slow as he walks over, pretending to not want to, and you groan.

“okay then go sit back down if you don’t want t—”

you’re terrified when he starts charging at you, and you scream as you run to the water as if it’ll help you. he runs in there with you, but you’re constantly looking back and going deeper in when you see he’s still determined to catch you.

he’s pretending to be some monster as he fake growls, though it’s just his face with no round, while clawing at the water as he tries to make his way over to you.

the small waves hit your torso and your hair as it splashes up your body. it’s colder than you thought it would be, and your mouth gapes open in shock.

drew ends up catching up to you and he scoops you up with ease since you’re in the water, and you wrap your arms around his neck as he carries you further into the ocean by your bum.

you look toward the group and see what everyone’s doing in just a brief moment—theo and oscar still gone, you see roman even heading back to the house to help probably, gia’s tanning while laying on her towel, then leila and libby are talking while on the beach chairs right beside her.

drew stops walking when you reach a good spot that won’t kill you in a wave. hopefully. but he doesn’t set you down. the water already reaches high on his torso, so he assumes it’s best not to put you down and risk an incoming wave.

you hold on tight as you look out to the horizon, and you pull away to look at him. there’s an instant smile that forms when you’re face-to-face.

“the water feels nice,” you say awkwardly. the ocean is cold against your back but any body part that touches drew’s body is warm. he’s warm. “i’m really glad you came.”

drew cocks his head to the side as he squints his eyes, “i’m pretty sure i had to. leila wanted to go to the beach today so uh . . .”

“no you fucking—” he’s laughing and you have to wait until he’s done. “you know i meant on this trip,” you tell him.

“i’m glad you came too,” drew says, and you pull him closer again, burying yourself between your arm and the side of his head, and you close your eyes as the waves push you back and forth.

hours pass, unexpectedly. you didn’t initially plan on staying there for so long—none of you do, but time just flies. you’ve eaten the hotdogs provided by the boys, which you heard some got burnt thanks to theo.

you played volleyball a bit after, boys vs girls. you wanted to sit out but leila convinced you to stay.

“don’t be such a baby, roman!” you remember gia yelling to her boyfriend from across the net, and then he was hit with the volleyball again.

now it’s nightfall. you’ve all packed up and returned to the house simultaneously to take showers. some stay to talk or build really sad sand castles out of cups from the house while others occup the showers.

“why don’t you and theo just shower together?” you remember libby asking leila as you and her laid on the chairs together while libby was on the floor with said sand castle.

leila grimaces. “washing sand out of his ass is not romantic whether you’re about to be married or not.”

now you’re all clean, dressed in your pajamas with your freshly wet hair as you sit on the floor with leila. drew is already taking his turn in the shower while you discuss the little scrapbook leila brought on the trip.

she said that she bought everything literally on day one, and she hasn’t gotten around to filling it out yet because she doesn’t know how to. she grabbed you to help and you went to your room to see what she had.

there’s different stickers, paint, flowers, glitter, possibly the entire arts and crafts store all over the floor as you two plan even the first page. she had absolutely no idea what she was doing—you’re certain that she went to the store that day and just started grabbing whatever she thought was cute, but you don’t blame her.

“i just want to show this to our kids or something when they’re our age,” leila says as she rearranges the photograph of her and theo when they first started dating, and she frowns at the memory.

“are you thinking about kids?” you ask her as you glue on a piece of paper in the corner of the page that leila insisted was aesthetic.

leila shrugs, “i mean, you know how it is. eventually, just not now. i don’t think theo and i are ready for that.”

“waking up to crying in the middle of the night,” you let her picture it herself as you scrunch your nose up, “when you already haven’t been able to sleep for days.”

“that’s the only part i’m not excited about,” leila tells you, and she pauses as she thinks about it. “besides the vomiting, the screaming, the pooping, so really i—”

“—should not have a child anytime soon,” you cut her off, and she chuckles, nudging you with her shoulder as she plays around with some of the stickers.

leila sighs after a bit and she looks around, but it’s difficult to see right away when all the stuff is on the floor. “what time is it? i feel like it’s getting late, or it’s ice cream sundae time.”

“probably the second one,” you mumble as you look around for your phone. you don’t know where it is but it clearly isn’t there. it must be in one of the tote bags downstairs, but that’s too far away. “hold on.”

you get up and carefully step over the mess you’ve created—though leila’s already collecting everything to call it a night—and approach your side of the bed. your phone isn’t there still and there’s no clock in this particular room.

you take a peek over at drew’s side of the bed. his phone is laid face down on his nightstand, almost about to fall off. you sigh as you grab it and plan on putting it safely on the nightstand after you check the time really quickly.

“it’s just 10,” you tell her.

she nods as she stuffs her bag with more supplies, muttering under her breath, “definitely sundae time.”

you’re about to put his phone down when a notification comes in. he has a million already pending but you don’t even plan on looking at them until this one comes in just now.

‘ are you seriously with her? ’

you furrow your eyebrows as you check the name.

mila?

is this his girl best friend or something?

another notification comes in right after that that you can’t ignore.

‘ i’m going to sleep. just text me tomorrow. ’

‘ please. ’

‘ i miss you. xo ’

the words blur together for a second, but the meaning behind them hits you all at once. he’s been talking to someone else this whole time, since before the plan was even made probably. you feel a twist in your stomach, but you try to steady yourself, taking a slow breath.

you weren’t expecting this, but it’s not like he owes you anything. you knew things had changed between you two, but seeing these messages—it hurts more than you thought it would.

you’ve been getting closer, laughing together, and just being there in the ocean in his embrace . . . and the whole time, someone else has been on the other side of his phone, waiting for him.

if you had known, if drew had told you he was still talking to someone, you never would’ve agreed to this plan.

you feel uncomfortable, a little betrayed, but not heartbroken. it’s not that deep—not yet. but it’s enough to make you feel like you’ve stepped into something you weren’t prepared for.

“you wanna make the sundae with me?” leila’s voice barely rips you from your thoughts as she gathers her things in her bag and stands up, waiting on you.

“what? no, i’m fine,” you tell her. “i’m probably gonna head to bed soon? i don’t know, i’m tired but i’ll let you know. i’ll probably join you, knowing me.”

she smiles at you but leaves it at that, and leaves the room, leaves your thoughts to grow bigger and louder now that you’re alone.

you don’t check any more of his messages, respecting enough of his privacy not to dig. the weight of those few words heavy in the air as you switch his phone off and set it back down on the nightstand.

i miss you. xo

you shake your head, trying to push the thoughts away. this was supposed to be for your friends, just a harmless plan to avoid awkward questions. that’s all. but now, you’re starting to wonder if there’s more going on here than you realized.

this wasn’t part of the plan.

@rubixgsworld @itgirlbrina @thepopcultureaddict @samsmelodrama @kissfinalgirl @itsamegazaddysworld @willowpains @toterry @wearemadeofstardust0 @maybankslover @itneverendshere @httpsdrewstarkey @ilyrafe @cl4uus @sunny1616 @pillowprincess4him @yootvi

[cupoftaae]

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ boys never grow up. chapter 3

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count: around 2k!!

chapter warnings: so much angst, some fluff if you squint. tae is really sad and reader is kind of mean in this chapter (but shes just confused its ok!) some suggestive talk but nothing major. i think thats all?

A/N- hey everyone! thank you for being so patient with this chapter, I apologize again for going offline for like 2 months, school and work is so crazy but Im glad to be back and writing. Enjoy chapter 3 and check my page for the previous 2 chapters. I will make a masterlist with each chapter soon.

"Honestly if you ask me, hes not doing you any favors. hes holding you back, he works from home and expects you to stay there with him, like a child who depends on their parent. its pathetic. I dont know why hes so defensive over you, He probably has a crush. Hes not very good at hiding it-"

you stared off at the wall behind your boyfriend, Kaito, as he rambled about the previous days altercation. you agreed to meet him for breakfast at the cafe down the street despite you trying to find an excuse out of it that wasnt: "I need to talk to Tae".

you had tried to communicate with tae as soon as you walked out of your room but he was afraid you were mad, and made up some lie about meeting with a friend. you know tae isnt meeting up with anyone. perhaps kaito was correct about the whole 'he depends on you' type thing, because since you guys had agreed to be friends with benefits, he isolated himself to just you. it was slightly concerning considering the fact you two are no longer exclusive, yet he remains emotionally attached.

"What do you think?" he spoke up, taking a sip of his still steaming coffee, while yours remained untouched.

shit.

"about what?" your eyes grew large, hands resting in your lap as you met his confused and slightly irritated gaze.

"about moving in with Chae? I just said it?"

you scoffed under your breath and looked out the window, shaking your head. he was still talking about this? you think he would learn and know better after last nights scene which was caused by this very topic.

"i dont....I dont know kai. Ive got a lot on my plate right now, and she hasnt even reached out to me about that so" you shrugged and looked down at your mug.

"whats going on with you?" he began, eyes scanning over your slumped frame. "you are a mess lately, you dont listen to me when I talk, you havent been keeping up with homework, youre always busy."

you sadly fidgeted with your coat sleeve, realizing everything he was saying was true.

"you know your grades are dropping in Ms.Daniels class right? you never submitted your final scene for the semester and she keeps bugging me to tell you about it, even though you should be keeping track of it yourself, Y/N"

you sighed deeply before nodding, feeling tears at the brim of your eyes. " i know" you mumbled.

"you are becoming distracted. dont let him do that to you. hes 23 years old and he is acting like that? keeping you from being successful just because he dropped out of college himself?"

you felt like your heart had been stabbed by your boyfriends words. You loved tae, he was your best friend, you spent all night in tears over how guilty you felt about this whole situation. you loved him, more than you had realized, but within those thoughts you also came to the conclusion that all you two had was sex. there was no dates, there was no true quality time together that didnt end up with you both making out. You wanted better, you wanted a relationship, which is the one thing Tae didnt want, and you know he would never date you.

Maybe that was it, all these harbored feelings which longed for something he would never give you. but you have kaito now, and its not fair for you to allow Taehyung to cling to your feet while also pursuing a relationship. what were you thinking? about to give up a relationship with a man who actually will give you want you want for some playdate? get yourself together y/n.

"you are right." you swallowed and wiped a tear, looking up at him. he frowned, "im not trying to hurt your feelings, im just saying what I think can help"

"no, no, angel." you reached over to hold his hand. "I need to start focusing on me and less on him. You are correct"

"can I ask you something?" Kaito mumbled, his thumb running over your knuckles.

"hm?"

"were you and him ever together?"

you laughed, shaking your head while trying to think of exactly how to word it. "no. we were never together in any kind of way" you offered a reassuring smile as he nodded.

"ok, im just trying to figure out why he could be so obsessed with you" he laughed

you hummed, "me and him have been friends since we were little, we do everything together and I think since he moved away from his parents, i remind him most of home?" you shrugged.

"maybe. or he likes you" he laughed again.

you bit your lip and shook your head. "no, I dont think so"

"ive seen the way he looks at you." he went on, sitting back. "im a man, y/n, I know these things".

"what things?"

"you know...like when a guy is 'intruiged' by a girl, wants to 'be' with them." he gestures. "to be honest he does seem like the kind to just try and get what he wants then leave" he added on casually, eating the last bite of the shared muffin in front of you.

you were in shock. Is that what all men did? did taehyung only see you in that way?

"and...how do you see me?"

kaito looks back at you and smiles, "i see you as the most beautiful girl, who I love immensely and would do anything for"

your cheeks blush, sitting back in your seat as your hands fidgeted.

"do you wanna just spend the day together? you dont have to go back tonight, id imagine things are....tense, back at the apartment" kaito suggested, standing up and tossing trash away.

spend the day and spend the night with kaito? but what about taehyung? another missed opportunity to finally talk with him.

"sure" you mumble. "but I do need to head home first for a few hours so I can finish some homework, can you pick me up around 6?" you ask, getting up as well.

he kissed your forhead. "ill be there"

-

Taehyung had been sitting by the lake while he attempted to read "The Catcher In The Rye", a book you previously suggested to him. He didnt understand this type of literature, it wasnt for him. He was never the type to sit and read, but oh how he wanted to be like you.

he lied and told you he was meeting up with a friend from high school, which he knew you wouldnt believe, considering he doesnt have any friends. He just wanted an excuse to avoid you and whatever angry words you had to share with him.

he realized a few things last night, 1, that the chance of you feeling how he feels about you, was literally 0 now. and 2, he needs to get his shit together. It would be hard to just throw away how he felt, especially with what Dahyun said last night. but he knew nothing would come from this. tae needs to focus on tae.

He never regretted his college decision, but he regretted devoting his time so young with some fucking business corporation. If he could chose to do anything, it would be an artist, or something like that. He would love to teach art to younger children. He loved kids and the freedom of expression, the freedom of just being and living. He wished he had motivation to go after what he wanted like you did. Perhaps he believes reading books you enjoy will somehow change him.

or not, considering hes reread the same page 4 times. he looked up to view the water. the way it rippled slightly with the wind. His attention was then caught by a much older man sitting just on the other side of the lake with an easel and canvas, painting. he smiled to himself as he began to think of all the possibilities his life could go in. Since the pandemic, hes kinda been at a stand still. Now the world is open and, truthfully, if he tries hard enough, he could do whatever he wanted. maybe he was too dependent on certain people in his life.

he looked down at his phone to check the time, seeinng you had texted him. He nervously opened the message which contained:

bumblebee: hey, staying over at kaitos tonight. im home rn so do you want me to cook something for you and leave it for dinner? lmk."

he scoffed. you seriously think he cant cook or fend for himself. Hell, you start a kitchen fire ONE TIME and suddenly you cant make dinner.

his eyebrows furrowed. he didnt care anymore if you were gonna spend time with kaito. you were not his to claim. you dont care so why should he? he wants to just forget about everything, the friends with benefits, the dream, YOU, everything.

you had stopped typing on your computer to read his response,

tata: no, thank you though. have fun!

you rolled your eyes, considering throwing together some miso soup and putting it on the stove for him. you knew he was still angry, you hadnt even been able to talk or sort it out, but he was trying to pull some act on you.

you left him on read before getting up and cooking, knowing he would end up eating it anyway.

Taehyung had stood from his spot and brushed the grass stain off his jeans before walking back home. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to you, but the minute he walked in proved it would be harder than he thought.

you were stood in the kitchen, hair pulled back in a clip and you were applying lipstick through the reflection of the microwave.

you both saw eachother, speaking at the same time.

"is that my book?" "you made soup?"

you both smiled. "you read the book while you were with your friend?" you mumble, screwing the cap back onto your lipstick and throwing it into your overnight bag.

"yep" he pressed his lips together. "he had to, uh, leave early and I wanted to enjoy the nice air today so I stayed out longer. Brought it to keep me busy."

you crossed your arms and looked at him, nodding.

"hm, what do you think of Holden?" you asked.

his eyebrows raised as he looked at the book in his hand.

"uh, I mean. Hes a great guy" tae shrugged nonchalantly.

you scoffed. "no he isnt, hes incredibly flawed, and you did not read that book taehyung"

he looked toward the floor, accepting defeat. "Ok...but look" he walked further into the kitchen as he explained himself. "I cant get into it, I dont get any of the books that you recommend, like cmon what the hell is the 'bird that flew over the cuckoos tree'???"

"its 'nest' tae, and of course you cant get into it" you laughed to yourself. "they arent meant for you."

he put the book down on the table and looked up sadly, confused. "what does that mean?"

you sigh "it means you are childish"

"oh" he looks back at his shoes, deciding not to say anything further.

"you just like simple things, things that dont complicate you. stick to mangas and shit." you spoke, checking your bag so you have everything ready to go to kaitos.

you didnt mean to be rude. but you were fed up. here he is being all attached and in your space again, not even addressing or apologizi-

"look im sorry" he spoke up, voice raspy as he clears it.

you stand to look back at him, eyebrows raised.

"im sorry for being awful last night, it was so out of order and I understand I am quick to act like that and Ill do what I can to avoid it. Im sorry I made things weird, im sorry I embarrassed you and your boyfriend, im sorry for all of it. I am sorry that you feel like you cant talk to me, and im sorry for reading your book, or not? reading it? Im sorry that the reason I was so off yesterday is because I had a dream where we were intimate and it made me feel gross and disgusting because not even 5 hours later your boyfriend was in the room. im sorry that im too involved with you, you are my best friend and you are only that. I wont hold you back anymore, have fun at kaitos and text me. or dont, i dont care. Thanks for the soup." he spoke flatly, taking a breath as he finished then walking casually to his room as you stood there frozen, unsure of what to do or say.

"what the fuck?" you whispered to yourself, trying to unpack everything he just said. A dream??

you clutched your head and sighed. everything is such a mess. you finished throwing stuff into your bag and grabbed your phone, wanting kaito to pick you up an hour earlier, you needed to get out of the apartment and free your mind of whatever the fuck is going on. you needed to just have a nice time with your boyfriend.

taehyung leaned against the door to his bedroom and watched you leave with kaito. once you were gone, he shut the door and threw his hands to his face in shame. he really just let everything go there.

He wanted to rip the bandaid off, he wasnt sure it was the best way to do it but....kinda too late now. He wasnt sure what you would think of him now, but his conscience is now clean and he can do what he has been wanting to do: move on.

A/N: whew. the plot thickens. !!expect chapter 4 to be out friday!! comment to join taglist!

@taebangtanbabe

@turnthepageandbeburnt

[stuckinapril]

“to break the ice or to not” the second falling out.

the second falling out was with fish. me and her were a lot closer than me and crab or her and crab. we were best friends. during quarantine is when we got the closest. we both made sunday our hang out day. we have the same sense of humor and we can spend time together doing nothing and it was still enjoyable. we talk to each other in a bitchy way as a joke and we both are fine with it. well around april of this year, she got a new job. she made new friends. which of course is fine but it felt like she started pushing me to the side. our sundays were now being cut short so she could go out with her friends. she would ask me mid hang out “so when are you leaving” as a “joke” but it still hurt. i’m not used to being open with my emotions with her though. so i didn’t mention how i felt to her. she would sometimes leave and i would just stay in her living room talking to her mom while she went with her friends. she then started talking to a boy. she told me she didnt want to tell me his name bc she didnt know if it would be anything serious or not. i completely understood that. the following week, we are in her car and she says “oh yeah i told xyz and crab about me and (the boys name).” then i said “so that’s his name?” she says oh sorry i forgot to tell you. again i didnt feel comfortable sharing how i felt with her so i kept it to myself but i was hurt. me and her were best friends and she told people who she said she didnt like or didnt talk to much before me. then her and the boy started dating and i found out because she was having a conversation with her mom about it and i was in the room. i said “i didnt know you were dating” and again she says she forgot to tell me. the biggest one is when she was intimate with him for the first time. i was the last one to find out again. she said she waited to tell me because she thought i would “judge her for being a hoe” i dont even know why she would think that. i used to give her advice for when this moment would happen for her and told her i would always be there if she needed anything. all this was already weighing on me and the most pointless thing ended our friendship. her mom was having a costume party and we were talking about our costumes. she didnt have a job and was low on money so i told her that i had any makeup she would need for her costume because i didnt want her to spend money. she said “bro you act like i don’t have any makeup”. that caught me off guard because i was trying to be helpful and she came at me in a rude way. later on she told me she went to the store and bought makeup. i said “i was just telling you i had makeup so you didnt have to buy any” and she said “bro chill out” again caught me off guard but by this point i was mad. i told her i didnt like how she was talking to me. we went back and forth and eventually she said “im sorry you took it the wrong way” talking about the “bro you act like i dont have any makeup” and the “bro chill out”. that didnt seem like an apology to me because she wasn’t taking accountability for what she said. i just didnt respond to her text and we havent talked since. that was 2 months ago. now for both situations, there are times i want to reach out and talk about it but i think about how little they tried and then i don’t. i do miss them but i don’t know if it’s worth it.

no! it’s really, really not worth it. take it from me. i’m the kind of person who used to cut people slack and always take pride in being the “bigger person.” but there are right ways to be the bigger person & wrong ways to be the bigger person. the wrong ways to be the bigger person typically get you walked on. you crawling back to her after that attitude would read to her as you having no self respect, which would cause her to mistreat you even more. why? bc hitting her up essentially means you’re ok w her actions. it’s not like you walked away permanently.

there’s nothing more to be said about this. her not hitting you up is all the closure you need. trust me. i’m saying this bc you’re probably like “well we need to talk.” i disagree w that. verbal communication is a tool, but (as counterintuitive as that may sound) it’s not the only tool you have. actions so often speak louder than words. her actions are saying, very clearly, that you’re dispensable to her. she’s also on her bitch wave for no fucking reason, like who has time for that ??

if you really, really, really want this person in your life, you need to manage your expectations before contacting her again. know she’ll probably continue being an entitled bitch & know that she doesn’t value you the way you value her. i don’t recommend this. i think you only have so much time in your day for so many things, and this is one inconvenience you don’t need. there are 7 (almost 8, actually) billion people in this world. 7 billion. there’s someone out there who’ll treat you way better than she does. this is all to say, i don’t think it’s worth it ahah. you seem so sweet & they both seem like high drama. guard your energy and preserve it for better people

[aspxnvii]

ranting about this guy i've been talking to for the last 3 months because i don't know anymore

we originally matched in june last year, we talked for like a week and then i stopped responding cuz he was never asking me about anything in my life but i was asking him all the questions getting to know him etc etc

he reached out to me in september and i told him that i felt like he didn't care to get to know me and that's why i ghosted him and he apologized and immediately improved after that. so i said okay lets just go with it whatever. **we talk allday everyday since september last year**

he came on really strong at first and was like oh we could have movie nights and cuddle nights and etc etc and i was like dude relax you havent even met me yet etc. first time we hung out was in october - we went to a cafe and talked for 5 hrs, it went well and he said we should do this again sometime and i agreed.

2 weeks later we have a movie night at his house (that he invited me over for) we watch the movie and we both end up passing out and i left around 6am (nothing happened sexually or flirty but i wasnt planning on doing anything with him at the time), i hugged him goodbye and since then we have not hung out **once** and yet he texts me good morning and good night without fail every single day, asks me how my day is, aks how work was, asks me what i'm up to etc etc **every single day** to this day.

i even didnt message him for a whole week because i was going back and forth about the idea of cutting him off and i was like okay if he doesnt want a relationship and just isnt saying anything that's okay, i understand - let's just be friends. and during that whole week of me not messaging him, he still texted me multiple times everyday even tho i wasn't responding????

i eventually start talking to him again and we've been talking everyday since. keep in mind, i have mentioned us getting into a discord call together, going to an arcade together, playing a game together or going to a carnival together and he always says "oh yeah of course we'll do that"

weeks keep passing and nothing is happening. i don't fucking understand. does this make sense to anyone?

When i was at his house, his tv didnt work, we had to watch the movie on his computer - which tells me that he does not have friends over often, if ever. and he has like 3 friend groups on discord that he talks to all day everyday. so i'm wondering if he just prioritizes his comfort and his friends over a relationship. cuz that's what it seems to me and idk shits weird. i've never ran into a guy like this and just don't understand. like i genuinely think he's like someone who doesn't want to get up and get out and do anything. and i just???? BUT the fact that we're both online a lot and yes we're messaging eachother on discord allday - he never wants to call or play something together. so idk. we started sending each other deranged memes and he said i cant send you half teh shit on my phone and i told him i love deranged shit and he was like "i cant i dont want you to stop talking to me". sooooo liiiiiiike????????? we have so many inside jokes and we make eachother laugh all the time soo hhh

the guys who i've been dated and guys who have wanted to date m in the past have wanted to see me everyday, or atleast every weekend or want to call everyday etc. so this feels very strange

[silentmoths]

I hope you’re doing okay, Lex.

Sometimes, parents or relatives or just any other person can be projecting how they feel about themselves onto other people. Not that I’m justifying their actions in anyway. I also recently didn’t know that a very close cousin of ours didn’t invite anybody from their entire father’s side of the family to his wedding of which he told none of us.

It feels like a stab in the gut and simultaneously like they just destroyed their last chance of showing they actually care for you. Especially since we have been supporting them for years after their father, my uncle, passed away a few years ago.

However, I can say that it will get better. Sometimes we go through such scenarios in life in order to see the true person we’ve been actually thinking or dealing with all this time.

I truly hope you forget about such people in your life and that you’d eventually fell better. Sometimes ranting to your irl friends or your S/O can help as well to get rid of your frustrations. Love you and stay safe 💛🫂

Hey anon, I'm...doing about as well as I can I guess but honestly, Im a bitch who lives a pretty secluded life and I dont really get chances to dump my feelings out often so forgive me for using this as a moment to get..well, everything off my chest.

definitely a case of 'moth is getting probably too loose w their personal life on the internet' but at this point? I really just...dont care anymore.

Some context: parents have been divorced since I was three, thats fine, no big.

But my dad, whom I havent spoken with properly since 2016, has a habit of descending from on high to drop earth shattering revelations on me and then vanish again

last week he suddenly asked if I could be the executor of his will, me, a 25 year old who has no idea what any of that shit entails, but I say yes anyway because there was only one other person he had ever had as his executor and I had assumed something may have happened between them.

I ask my sister in law, who's mother is in a relationship with this person.

Today, I get a message from my lovely father again telling me he's dissapointed that I've gone and said something to said sister in law, who knows my dad well, she used to live three houses down from him and I knew her throughout my childhood, and now I have apparently caused a 'rift' in a 40 year friendship because I was worried for his friends health and assumed that's why I'm suddenly being given this shit monument of a task.

On top of that, this is when the wedding for said family friend gets brought up, this is the first i've ever heard of it, like I knew they were engaged but like, the date is set, dad had already declined his invite because my mum will be there and neither of my shitass folks can put their differences aside for one goddamn night, oh and I'm apparently not important enough/ thought of enough to be invited.

Im...honestly reaching the point where I wish he'd just hurry up and die so I can get this over with and actually fucking live my life without him descending every other month to tell me about his bowel cancer and how he's not doing anything about it like im glad to hear that the one parent who actually gave a shit about me when i was small is just letting himself die and honestly knowing him, he's going to speed it up in some way and here I am doing nothing about it because what the fuck can I do.

So for now I just sit, and wait, and try not to think about it.

my partner has been a godsend, his parents know more about executing wills than I do, but it's still something that I have to do mostly on my own and I'm scared im going to fuck it up.

[machine-gun-casie]

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room. 

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends. 

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not. 

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you. 

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry. 

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call? 

“He was with Bob.” 

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park? 

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.” 

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together. 

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.” 

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?” 

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.” 

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

[icarusbuck]

here's the thing...

just because buck and taylor are dating doesn't mean bucktaylor is endgame, especially when you consider buck's dating history.

in the pilot we see that buck tends to put himself out there and has a number of hookups, but in the very first one he tries to take that further by asking her out and gets shut down. so from the start he isn't just looking for sex, he just keeps ending up in bed with people who are. enter abby

right off the bat, abby is a break from the norm. she doesnt even want to meet him in person at first. they form a connection before they ever hook up (and one could argue phone sex is even a little more intimate in some ways because there's an added layer of vulnerability to it). she shows buck how far emotional investment can elevate a relationship. unfortunately, she can't invest nearly as much as buck can, and ends up leaving him high and dry when he's ready to take the next step with her.

lesson learned: he needs someone he can keep pace with. enter taylor (phase i)

at first taylor seems like a good, safe bet, but buck is once more seeking connection ("call me?") and taylor's career is taking off - which is just so sexy of her, i might add - and their false start leads them nowhere. but it does have the benefit of helping him put abby out of his mind. enter ali

i dont care what anyone says, ali and buck were cute together. the scene where they're touring the loft? adorable. ali helps buck move forward from abby in multiple ways, including getting him out of that goddamn apartment and into his own place. they operated well together, shared equal footing, had great chemisty; everything buck had with abby, but with someone in the same phase of their life.

by the end of season 3 we know that while buck may have moved forward from abby, he hasn't fully moved on. closure is a powerful, powerful thing. and man, can i just say im such a sucker for "right place wrong time" love stories? age gap aside, i was alright with buckabby until we learn she ghosted him in season 2.

in the end, while ali cares deeply for buck, knowing he's always in danger and seeing it for herself are just too much to stomach. lesson learned: he needs someone who will be able to handle the stress of dating a firefighter. enter taylor (phase ii)

disaster bis are back, baby! they start off as friends, but something is off from the beginning. buck jumps the gun, dropping hints that hes looking for more. taylor jumps the gun too, showing up to a double date thinking it's just a hookup. there is a significant lack of communication between them.

even before they get together we see that taylor often retreats into her own head when they're running on different wavelengths, leaving him behind instead of meeting him halfway. even dragging him along would be better; at least that would show she values his input.

we see this displayed most prominently in the treasure hunt; they have a couple moments where they're perfectly in sync (which visibly bothers eddie, and god i love that for me) and others where taylor hits the ground running and leaves buck standing in a cloud of dust.

we didnt get to see their honeymoon phase (tragic; i may not ship bucktaylor but i sure as hell like seeing hot people make out, bless you season 5 premiere) but if we extrapolate from monday's episode, buck is still resorting to using his body to get her attention - and even that fails sometimes.

we havent seen them hit any bumps just yet, but i think bucktaylor will reach a crossroads sooner rather than later. there will come a time when buck needs her to be there for him emotionally, and taylor either won't be able to OR she'll try, and it won't be what buck needs.

the lesson he hasn't learned yet: relationships need equal footing.

relationships that dont work out are important. they teach you what kind of person is right for you, the kind of person you want by your side forever. bucktaylor needs to run its course, or she will just end up taking abby's place.

and the thing is....

buck already has someone in his life keeping pace with him. buck already has someone in his life who understands why he puts himself in danger. buck's already (almost perfectly) in sync with someone who has been his equal since the day they met - and even went far enough to make that somewhat legally binding.

you can have my back any day. you could have mine.

[nahoyaglock]

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

[fukurodaze]

five stars: part 3 | three words

IT’S EMBARRASSING: a third year cheerleader!reader x second year athlete!suna au

wc: 4.1k warnings: swearing

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you hate mornings. 

they feel restless and empty and full of longing to have something worth waking up to. sometimes it’s hard to even get up when your mind is full and your heart is worried.

but you do not hate suna rintarou. in fact, you’ve learnt a few new things about him.

one, he has a little sister.

two, he has a nice laugh.

three, he is only “occasionally lactose intolerant”, but not if he “tries his best”.

the things you already knew - his volleyball position, birthday, grade, home town - were never brushed up on, but somehow made their way to the forefront of your memory the more time you spent with him. you began to see him as simply ‘suna’, instead of ‘the boy you helped with physics last year’.

you wonder how you ended up spending every morning of the last two weeks with him. he seems nonchalant, almost lazy, when you see him around with his teammates: back slouched and face relaxed almost all the time. yet, when you let him walk you to class, he’s talkative. he’s eager. he’s walking slowly so you can keep up.

it’s a bit of a question for you, why he’s suddenly popped up into your life once more after waking you up on an unlucky monday morning. 

(he had told you that you had slept with your eyes wide open, and it took you some time to process everything as your chest fluttered with embarrassment.)

then again, you’re not complaining.

“if you notice over here,” suna leans into your side, pointing at the phone in your hand as the two of you walk through the school, “there’s a little cockroach at the corner of the room going out.”

“oh my god,” you laugh. the video on suna’s phone displays today’s fight between the miya twins at the gym. 

it’s your third week with him.

now, as he lets you hold his phone, the literal embodiment of all the volleyball team’s blackmail material, there comes the familiar urge of yours to steal a few glances, adjust your hair, or maybe do something absurd and see how he’d react.

it’s a strange feeling. stranger than when he walked you to your classroom once and you, in your half-awake genius, slipped him a tube of your lip balm in the open pocket of his bag in case you didn’t have an excuse to see him again.

“what were they fighting about again?”

suna shrugs, “osamu was having a bad day, and atsumu got pissed, so, naturally, osamu got pissed.”

“shit. everyone was crowding around i couldn’t even see them throwing punches,” you mutter.

“anything that the twins do usually gets a crowd, really.”

you pass the phone back to him. “yeah, the twins are crazy popular. especially with the girls. they’re like idols.”

“right,” suna pockets his phone, “you’re popular too.”

your brows are furrowed. “stop it.”

suna playfully tenses his shoulders up, hands shoved in his trouser pockets, “you’re, like, the kind of person that organises the culture festival and is like the secretary for the student council.”

“i actually am.” 

“you probably are.”

you two pause when the sentences come out at the same time, and it takes no time for the two of you to laugh it out, lightly, with snickers and giggles that you’ve never really heard from his mouth. 

“you know, i finally got to watch a movie last night,” you begin, changing the conversation.

he looks at you slowly, sweetly. “oh yeah? what did you watch?”

“uh, totoro...”

he stays silent, and you find his head tilted and his eyebrows raised. he looks amused. you ask him, “what?”

“solid movie.”

there is a questioning look that you give him, and you know he sees it, pupils focused to your side. he speaks again, “you like ghibli movies?”

“yeah. i think everyone does. don’t you?”

suna looks like he’s staring down the sky, thinking. he hums, and then tells you, “i don’t.” 

now he exaggerates his normally poor posture, chin tilting up to get a view of your reaction. the two of you keep walking, in an unusual silence, and you’re left watching his eyes as they stay indifferent.

“didn’t you just say totoro was a ‘solid movie’?”

the boy looks ahead, “yeah, so?”

you click your tongue, eyes narrowing, “whatever. i don’t believe you.”

suna has a satisfied smile on his face. he makes sure you don’t know it.

the two of you enter the building, even taking extra time to go to each others’ lockers. it’s only been two weeks since he had seen you laying on the bleachers, eyes embarrassingly open; two weeks since he had walked you to class the first time; two weeks since he had really started to know you.

when you reach your classroom, suspicious eye contact from classmates and the increasingly busy hallway tell you that it’s time for him to go to class, too. he sneaks in a cynical remark, and you playfully hit him on the shoulder, for the first time.

“i’m betting you and him get together by august.” your friend, honoka, chimes in as you enter the classroom. your neighbouring seat mates agree.

you’re starting to look forward to mornings.

unbeknownst to you, suna has a deadline.

the interhigh is only a week away, and so he’s told himself that he’ll do one thing before completely shutting himself out for volleyball training: asking you out on a date.

in other words, he is fed up with the volleyball team’s rendition of his “showoff mode”. he doesn’t lift his shirt up that much!

his first strategy is the straightforward, nonchalant way. he eagerly waits for you at practice.

“hey,” suna almost chirps, feeling a skip in his step.

“hey.” your squint your eyes at the unexpected energy, “are you- are you up to something?”

suna’s ears turned beet red at your statement. he couldn’t have possibly guessed that you knew what he was about to do.

a smirk crawls onto your lips. “oh, so you are up to something…”

“yeah, right. it’s nothing.”

you slap a hand on his shoulder, “hey, i get it.”

“what?”

“i mean, whatever pranks you and your friends are up to, just try not to get expelled, ‘kay?”

suna’s shoulders relax, but his eyebrows furrow, “wait, wha-”

“the volleyball team’s up to something, no?”

suna nods cautiously, not sure if he should be relieved or sad at the miscommunication.

“anyways, thanks for waiting for me after practice. i have a some paperwork to do for the student council, so you can go on ahead,” you give him a genuine smile. he always likes to see it, but it’s a little less lovely when the thought of a failed asking-out attempt is circling his mind.

“right. bye.” suna dashes off, hand fisted in his pockets. 

he tells himself it’s a work in progress.

“what the fuck am i doing making breakfast so well,” suna mutters under his breath one morning, preparing a cut of fish in the kitchen. he doesn’t even have practice this morning, and yet he’s skimmed through the entire oven manual and has found the joys of cooking fish meat. 

he even takes some of the fish and puts it in a metallic lunch box with rice to bring to school. normally, he would settle for the canteen’s average meat buns. 

“two bentos…?” he breathes. he has an idea.

it’s not long before he’s meeting you at the bus stop. he finds you sending him a small wave and an immediate groan about how your english teacher “is the definition of a nerd-bully equilibrium, what goes on.”

he laughs along with the complaints you have, even joining along with the flow of conversation. sometimes he thinks he changes a little bit when he’s around you, but he doesn’t mind. he likes talking and laughing and enjoying his time with you without worrying about what other people say.

he’ll give you a bento, maybe, he thinks, because he’s seen lots of girls give their boyfriends bentos in the past. maybe it would even give you a nod in the right direction.

right before the school’s building entrance, he stops you and takes you by the arm. it makes your heart skip a beat, but for him, all his heartbeats are centered around the lunchboxes in his bag.

“suna, why-”

your words are cut off when you see the boy eagerly rummaging through his bag, at first with a smile and then with a worried look. his hand is in his bag for a little too long.

there was only one bento.

so he gives you a beat-up ballpoint pen. 

it’s transparent, and from the outside you can see the ink tube only one-eighth full. it looks old.

“um, it’s a good luck charm... for your english test today.” suna keeps his mouth pursed and his look unfazed.

“oh.” you smile at the absurd charm. it seems questionable at first, but you try to convince yourself to trust in it. to trust in suna.

“i know, it’s kind of… beat up, and every-” it’s clear that suna is worried, for what you don’t know, but the way he hangs his head and his other hand fumbles with the strap of his backpack is enough to tell you to accept the surpising gift.

“no, i like it. even if it doesn’t work.” your hand keeps the pen in your fists. 

“it does work, by the way.”

you chuckle, “i’ll return it after class?”

suna shakes his head, “you don’t have to. if you do well you can keep it.”

you nod an okay, and he has a tiny look of satisfaction on his face. he had thought of giving you his lunch and not eating, but he decided against it when he remembered he didn’t bring any money to school that day. temporary success, fuck yeah.

(you get a ninety-two on the test. you keep the pen.)

as a last resort, suna tries through text. at least he’s proud that the two of you have been texting for two weeks straight. he still has you under “y/l/n-senpai (physics)”, and it makes him crack a small smile under his covers from time to time.

from y/l/n-senpai (physics): 2 notifications

suna slides the notification open. it’s always a pleasant surprise.

from y/l/n-senpai (physics): just watched arrietty its a ghibli movie

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): ik hv u watched howl’s moving castle

from y/l/n-senpai (physics): yes ofc

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): well. i havent

suna runs out of words to type. he’s not sure how to phrase it...

still, by the way that you’re typing, it seemed like he hasn’t messed it up. he rolls around to the other side of his bed.

from y/l/n-senpai (physics): then go watch it… (READ)

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): let’s watch together|

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): let’s watch tog|

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): let’s|

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): let’s go on a da|

suna sighs, thumb pressing the delete button like there’s no tomorrow.

except his thumbs are big. and phone keys are small. and his train of thought has jumbled up past usual cognition.

to y/l/n-senpai (physics): lets go, toge (SENT)

suna starts to stare down the volleyball in the corner of his room, wishing it would explode on command, when another ping lights up his phone.

from y/l/n-senpai (physics): 1 notification

he makes the slowest visit to his contacts to change your display name on his phone. he wants to stall.

but he always gives in.

from y/n: whos toge? (READ)

“fuck,” he grunts, burying his head into his pillow.

out of sheer shame and fatigue of asking-out attempts, suna doesn’t see you in the morning that monday nor text you for the rest of the weekend, having left you on read every time you sent a message. he thinks that if he reverted back to the time when the only interactions with you were stray thoughts in his mind, life would go on and this too would pass. 

it’s not like you would care, right? he would tell himself.

but suna seemed to forget that you were on the cheerleading team, and that the cheerleading team shares the gym with the volleyball club on mondays and fridays, not tuesdays and thursdays like he had very cleverly remembered.

“suna!”

you call out to him that afternoon. you have your cheerleader uniform on, having received them just today, and make sure to catch him while he’s on break.

big mistake.

you knew the volleyball team was tall, but you never really expected them to be slightly off-putting, too. it seemed like one call of his name made the entire team, consisting of over twenty boys, turn their heads at you simultaneously. then they looked at suna. then they smiled.

you find in your peripheral vision a wide-eyed kita, glancing back and forth once before going back to the volleyballs and game plans even during his break. 

you put on your sweetest smile, as expected of a cheerleader who’d just recently gotten her summer cheer uniform: v-neck, sleeveless top, pleated skirt, inarizaki lettering plastered across your chest in maroon and white.

he steps in front of you, eyebrow raised, “yeah?”

“can i talk to you about something?” your hands are behind your back, body weight shifting from left to right.

he nods, and as you take him out of the gym, you hear the volleyball team cheer and a certain miya twin shout, “fuckin’ suna!”

“fuck off, atsumu!” suna voices.

outside, your smile falters. you lean against the wall of the gym.

“did i do something wrong?” you say it softly, but firmly. you see his shoulders tense up, just slightly.

“um, no?”

you squint your eyes suspiciously, “but you’ve been ignoring my texts...?”

suna rolls his eyes instinctively. he regrets it when he sees a genuine frown on your face. “dunno,” he says.

your frown persists, and you start to bite on the inside of your mouth. “well, the last thing you texted me was, uh, ‘let’s go toge’. i’m so sorry if i missed something, or if it made you feel bad, so-”

“no, don’t be sorry,” he has his hands on his hips, “i never meant to send that.”

“what do you mean?”

“it was supposed to mean something else,” he looks down, scuffing his shoes against the brick floor.

“oh, was that message not meant for me? and who’s toge? sorry if i’m-”

suna gathers himself. he opens his mouth. he says eight words.

“i meant to ask you, ‘let’s go together’.”

the conversation comes to a halt. his words ring ambiguously in your ear, and it flusters you when the first thing that comes to mind is a date with the boy. you try to shake it off.

“like- like what do you mean?” you feel sorry for having him repeat the phrase twice.

suna shrugs, “i chickened out.”

“dude, you’re not making any sense.”

there’s a sharp pang in suna’s chest, and he visibly grimaces. “did you just call me dude?”

“maybe.”

“ouch.”

“wait, so what do you mean!” your arms flail around a little too dramatically for someone as tired as you.

suna contemplates whether or not to tell you that he wanted to ask you out. by the way you’d just called him dude, he wonders if you’d rather him give you a fist bump and tell you ‘nice toss!’ instead of hold your hand and take you out on a date.

so he counts his stars and he goes for the leap.

“actually, i wanted to ask if you wanted to watch a movie together.”

you back up into the wall at his words. there’s a heat that crawls through your body and beats through your heart.

“is that what let’s go toge meant?”

he nods, shoulders relaxing, arms to his side, “let’s go, together. like- like a date.”

his words take you by surprise. still, you’re nothing but glad.

“yeah,” you lick your lips, “i’ll go. and i take back the ‘dude’”

“oh, really now?” his shoulders relax. 

you roll your eyes.

“so he asked you out, right?” honoka asks during a water break in pe class. you couldn’t say no.

“yeah, i’m going to his flat next wednesday.”

“why not today? friday?”

you pouted, head turning slowly, “stuco meeting. we have our cultural festival late october, remember?”

“ah.” honoka sips on her water bottle, “i won’t be here by then.”

“what date are you leaving again?” you try not to darken your tone, pouting at the idea of losing one of your dear middle school friends to distance. 

“august eighteenth. a month away.”

you begin to slouch on your bench. there are more classmates that come to your bench after hearing honoka telling you her leave date. ‘oh my god!’s and ‘i’m gonna miss you!’s fill the corner of the gym, and soon the whistle blows, signalling the end of your water break.

the rest of the day proceeds as normal, and yet there’s that familiar emptiness that seems to continue to fill up even more of your days.

it’s tiring.

suna’s flat is extremely well put, for some reason. you’d always passed him for a boy who simply didn’t care, but now you see him at his own place, grabbing his laptop from his desk one-handedly.

you’ll admit going to a boy’s place alone is an awkward concept in itself, but it seems like suna doesn’t pay no mind. he’s plugged in his laptop to a charger, set it on the table, and has sat himself down on a floor cushion.

it’s a relief that you don’t know how suna’s heart is almost threatening to beat out of his chest.

“what do you want to watch?” you’re quick to sit down on the floor next to him.

he shrugs, “maybe you can convince me to like ghibli.”

you tsk at his line, yet it eventually brings you an ear to ear smile. you reach over to the laptop, scrolling through netflix. “i guess we could start with howl’s moving castle?”

your head turns to him, and he nods, before standing up all of a sudden. you look at him questioningly, but you find him walking over to his kitchen and returning with two paper bags and two glasses of water. 

your eyes follow him as he rests the items down on the table and scoots back on the floor. he gestures the paper bag towards you, “popcorn. it’s salty, so i don’t know if you’re into that.”

“ah. thanks,” you smile, and he reaches over to the laptop, pressing play. 

you don’t expect the movie to be the first thing on your minds - the both of you knew this. though you and him had spent some time marvelling at the movie, you find that for every other time you dip your hand into your popcorn, a pair of eyes turns to glance at you. 

you two spend your time silently during the movie, however. your eyes have developed a habit of simply tracing suna’s figure with your eyes, and it comes in embarrassingly when he had looked back and found your attention on him instead of the laptop at one point.

you’re surprised, though, because he does seem to be paying attention to the movie, more or less, and you can hear his small hums of amusement and surprise as the movie progresses. you colour yourself proud.

suna doesn’t even touch his food nor his drink, having felt too nervous to do so. he wants to know how you’re doing, silently, but whenever he meets your eyes, he decides that he’d rather fix himself on the movie. he wonders if a date like this means holding your hand or even saying goodbye with a kiss hug.

when the movie ends you ask him why he hasn’t eaten his popcorn, and how you feel kind of bad about it, but he ends up telling you how good the movie actually was.

“i don’t believe that you don’t like ghibli movies.” you squint playfully.

there’s a grin that grows on suna’s resting face, “i never said that i was saying the truth, i just said that i didn’t like them.” 

he stands up, bringing the food and drinks on the table to his kitchen counter, and you follow him over. the realisation hits you then, “oh. oh.”

“in truth i haven’t really watched many of them so i don’t know, but, yeah.”

“it’s funny because i feel slightly played.”

“well, you’re here now, aren’t you?” 

you watch as suna reaches into his refrigerator for some eggs. he glances at you, and you’re sitting on his tiny dining table. 

“do you want an omelette?”

your eyebrows raise. your heart skips a beat at the thought of eating his cooking. you tell him, “sure.”

suna takes the time he’s faced away from you to think about what’s next. he knows that you have some kind of inclination towards him, having agreed to his explicit naming of this hangout a “date”. still, his mind wanders towards the timing: is it too early to properly confess? hasn’t he technically already confessed? the omelette flips and suna thanks the world for having it look like the prettiest one he’s ever made. 

this one’s for you, he thinks.

when you do take the omelette in your mouth, you sigh a little bit. it looks pretty - almost beautiful, in fact - but also seems to be half-half-cooked. 

you don’t care, though, because it still makes your stomach flutter thinking about the fact that he had made this with his own hands. and if it takes some half-half-cooked omelette to eat, then, hell, you’ll eat it.

it’s not all bad, though, since he offers you some rice along with the egg as well, and it eventually turns into a filling meal. you hadn’t had one of those in a while.

when you look over to the other side of the table, you find he’s already finished with your food, and normal chatter makes itself more comfortable in the confines of his small flat. this is how it’s supposed to be, you tell yourself, just meaningless banter and humorous talks.

you find yourself growing to know him even better.

“isn’t it funny, how, some weeks ago, i had only seen you as that ‘one guy i tutored last year’?” you say after the date as he walks you out of his apartment. he tells you he’ll be walking you home, and though you tell him no, you ride the bus, he says he has some extra money in his wallet for the month.

suna agrees, “yeah. i would’ve just carried on with my life.” suna lies through his teeth. he’s been through the volleyball team’s teasing for his obvious crush on you. hell, they’d even dubbed it suna’s “showoff mode” (ginjima calls it ‘beast mode’) whenever you were within a five meter radius of him. 

you tell him time flies fast, and he tells you it walks slowly. for you, getting to know suna rintarou has been something you finally look forward to after all your work. but for suna, getting to know you is something he savours every second of, remembering how he wants to make up for the times he used to pine over your unknowing self.

when the two of you get on the bus, you sit next to him, yawning. he wants to have an arm over your shoulder, or your head on his shoulder, but he doesn’t exactly know how.

“my house is actually a few stops from here.” you say. it’s already nine at night, and though you’ve spent over five hours at his flat, you don’t want to lose your time with him to sleepiness.

suna notices how you try to fight it, even having told him, “don’t worry, i usually sleep at two am everyday anyways. i’m not going to fall asleep.”

he tells you, “you shouldn’t be sleeping at two every night.”

“it is how it is.”

he chuckles, “i once got shouted at for sleeping at five in the morning during a training camp. they forced me not to train at all that day. it was-”

the bus comes to a stop and your head falls on his shoulder. he calls your name softly.

you’re asleep.

suna keeps still as the bus ride continues, remembering the stop you said was yours. he counts them - one, two, three, four, five stops - and with each, his breathing steadies. he feels like the luckiest boy in the world.

“what am i to you now?” suna’s head tilts back, whispered question dissolving into the atmosphere. he doesn’t expect an answer.

instead, your arm circles itself around his.

taglist: @maitenight​ @natszoo​ @ssuna​ @erens-piss-cleaner​ @osamus-onigiri​ @volleybloop​ @etherealiwa​ @agaashesmilktea​ @bicchaan​ @anngelllla​ @tycrackculture​ @sins-over-tragedy​ @tsumuluv​ @daichibrainrot​ @underratedmage​ @sunasexual @kenmei @daydreamingtetsu​ @sunareii​ @bebegi​ (if your url is bolded, it means i couldn’t tag you)

send an ask to be added to the taglist!

as always, thank you to roo @yooroomi for beta reading this series!

[souichieatr]

just friends | nishinoya y.

where in which you really wanna kiss nishinoya , wc: 905

no warnings , fluff

a/n: dropping this then going back into hibernation sorry if theres any mistakes

you and nishinoya yuu we're just friends, nothing more. you both did tend to flirt, not just flirting but hold hands, hug for longer than said friends should. so you could say you liked him, falling for him was easy. he didn't give you the embarrassing moments that make you go ‘i can't believe i like you’ or the doubt of ‘does he like me back.’ well even if he did it all his antics made you laugh. and being just friends wasn't hard, you both like what you have and you both intend to keep it that way.

as much as nishinoya tries to deny it, his certificated best friend can tell just how much this friendship means to him. tanaka ryuunosuke can see the way he watches you when you pass, the smile that adorns his face when you tell them both a story, or even how his friend always reaches for your touch. again you both like what you have and you both intend to keep it that way.

even when other people started to take notice of you, nishinoya would scare them off, brushing it off when you asked why. maybe you thought, maybe he could return your feelings but it all goes down the drain when shimizu. the attention on her and when you came around not much changed even going as far as to ask you to make her smile. the pain you felt you still wouldn't want to change your friendship.

the longer you both did that, you fantasized about him being yours. finally being able to kiss him, kiss his bruises he gets, play with his hair when its down, everything youve wanted. the want getting stronger and stronger each day, maybe itll help if i back off? or maybe i should just tell him? you think randomly. on days where he's walking you home the thoughts beat in your head, what if i just tell him? would it be weird if i randomly just shouted ‘i like you!’? the thoughts distracting you all the way home.

on fridays you wait after practice for him so you both can hit up the supermarket and watch movies. a tradition you both had since first years.

“y/l/n!” he shouts running to you. “noya hey man!” you shout back high-fiving him. he pulls a paper out of his bag, “look i got a 65% in writing because of you” taking the paper to examine. “yo this is so cool congratulations” you say giving him a hug. “also this is your accomplishment not mine i just helped a tad bit” you say leaning back and giving him a cheek kiss. “im proud of you” patting yourself on the back for how nonchalant youve been.

as you get to his house he rushes to take a shower leaving you in his room. laying on the bed and getting comfortable, youve fallen asleep. when you wake up youre resting on his chest. when you raise your head he smiles, “ugh finally i wanna be little spoon now” he says getting up holding his hand out. “i also wanna go downstairs so cmonnnnn” he whines.

laying on the couch on your back, he lays his head on your chest flipping through netflix. “y/n would it be weird to say i have a big crush on you?” he says unusually quiet. “are you saying you have a crush on me?” you ask, almost holding your breath. he pauses and looks at you, “i like you a lot y/n.” making eye contact with him, your eyes widen at the sudden serious atmosphere. “and i bring this up because when you kissed my cheek today well i dont know really how to explain it, it was all tingly i almost didnt wash my face because i was scared it go away- but dont worry i did, the tingling sensation was so strong even stronger than the time kiyoko slapped me.” he says lifting himself up. “even if you dont like me and just want to stay as friends im okay with that you can be honest” as he finishes his sentence you sit up facing him. “i like you too yuu and i really want to kiss you” you say, smiling big. “please say that again and i will” he says, leaning his forehead against yours. “i like you too” you repeat. “say my first name too” he says almost desperately, “i like you too yuu” you say gently against his lips. finally after months of daydreaming youre kissing him, the tingles he was talking about start. after a minute he pulls away, kissing your cheek.

“y/n do you want me to step down from my leader position in the kiyoko protection squad” he says cupping your cheeks. “yuu we just got down kissing lets not talk about another woman when you havent even asked me out” you say laughing at him when his mouth forms an ‘o’. “y/n please date me i really wanna kiss you again and again and ag-” he starts as you cut him off “i think i get it, but yes i will go out with you.” you say leaning forward to kiss him again. “i'll just make a y/n and kiyoko protection squad” he says before kissing you again, trying to pull back and give him a response he keeps bringing you back in.

[brelione]

In The End (The Best Boys)

Warnings:For the love of god everyones doing too much, yelling, not proof read

Series Masterlist

You took in a deep, shaky breath.Rafe bit his lip, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Lets go downstairs, okay?”He asked, large hand going to hold yours.You nodded, slowly sitting up with a slight pain in your abdomen.

He went into your closet to get you something loose and soft, helping you get dressed. “Im sure hes fine, alright?Dont worry.”He grinned, kissing the top of your head.The two of you sat anxiously on the couch, listening for Kelce’s car.

You jumped when you heard the car door slam, your door opening a few moments later.His breathing was fast and shallow, eyes wide and sweat dripping from his hairline and tears falling from his eyes.He didnt say anything, hands shaking as he stared back at you.Rafe’s hand was sitting on your thigh, almost trying to hold you back from going to Kelce.

You werent sure if the action was out of jealousy or if he was just worried about you trying to approach Kelce while he was in this state of mind.It didnt matter though.Once the slight shock had worn off you quickly made your way to Kelce, wrapping your arms tight around him.

He was shaking under your touch, a few of his tears falling into your hair as he leaned against you with his arms around your shoulders. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”You repeated, rubbing his back.He shook his head, squeezing you so hard that it hurt.

You looked over to Rafe, trying to figure out what had happened. “Im sorry.”Kelce sobbed, whistling sounds coming from his nose as he tried to take deep breaths.Your hand moved to run through his hair and rub the back of his neck, feeling him start to relax a bit

. “Kelce….what happened?”You asked, your thumb tracing over his cheekbone lightly.He didnt move away from you, squeezing you tighter.He could tell by the way you and Rafe kept looking at eachother that he was freaking you guys out and it didnt exactly help with how stressed he was.

 “I dont know what to do.”He cried, his nose starting to run.You didnt know what to do either, holding him and whispering into his ear.He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths, listening to you.It couldve been minutes or hours, you werent exactly sure but it didnt really matter.

Rafe was just confused, not understand how to help or what could have happened to make Kelce act like this.You eventually got him to stand up, holding your hand as you practically dragged him.He sat on your counter, hands shaking as you got him some water and squeezed lemon juice into it.

His eyes were puffy and red, eyebrows messed up and his nose was irritated.He was a mess.You werent sure if he’d be able to hold the cup on his own, putting it next to him for when he’d be able to. “You okay, little man?”You asked, offering him a towel to wipe his nose with.

He didnt answer but took the towel anyways, holding it to his nose.Rafe came into the kitchen, looking at Kelce with a puzzled expression.Kelce let his eyes fall to Rafe’s neck, letting out a low sigh.Topper was right. 

“I dont know what happened...I just got mad and I dont know.I think I blacked out...I dont know.”He muttered.Rafe nodded, understanding. “I was on the phone with Topper.And he-he said that uh….that he told you something.”He glanced over to Rafe, taking in a deep breath.

Your heart dropped into your stomach, looking over to Rafe too. “And he told me...that you and Rafe are dating.I dont know...it’s stupid.”Kelce muttered, looking down into his cup.You bit the inside of your cheek, not sure how what to say or if you should deny it or not.

 “Okay...um….okay.”You nodded, thinking about it.You hadnt considered Rafe your boyfriend, things hadnt really gotten that far yet when it came to feelings.Or maybe they had. “It doesnt matter...theres just so much happening and I got stressed and everything just happened so fast and I didnt know what to do.”He explained, squeezing the towel in his hand.

There was no way of getting out of this.Why did life have to be this way? “So um….whats the main problem here?”You asked, remembering how he’d ask you that when you had an anxiety attack.He squeezed the towel harder, wanting to scream. 

“Everything is the main problem!I cant-I cant just pretend anymore!Ive been pretending for years and I just cant-do you know how fucked all of this is?”He asked, the towel falling to the floor.On instinct Rafe had pulled you closer to him, not sure what was going to happen but was more than shocked when you moved away from him. 

“What do you mean you’ve been pretending?”You asked, not understanding what he was talking about.He laughed, his eyes watering again. “Havent you noticed?Four years, (Y/N)!Four fucking years i’ve been in love with you and you havent noticed and im trying my best to keep it from you cause its not your problem to deal with but its hard, okay?I’ve been trying to control myself and control everyone else and I know its fucked, alright?And then Rafe just takes you away and he knows too!And he’s known about Topper-thats so goddamn fucked!”Kelce exclaimed, standing up now.

He didnt even know what he was saying, ranting about all of his thoughts. “How are you so oblivious?How have you not seen the signs?dont you see how mad Topper gets when you’re all over Rafe?If you love Rafe thats fine but could you at least let us know so that we dont have that little bit of hope?Cant you just do that for me?”He asked, his breathing shallow.Rafe looked over at you too, waiting for you to reply.He knew he loved you.He had known for a long time that it was something more than a little crush.

Topper walked up your driveway, nearly losing his balance a few times on the way to your door that was open for some reason.He was glad that it was darker out so he didnt have to worry about wearing the ugly sunglasses his doctor told him to wear.

 “Guys?”He called out, hearing shouts from the kitchen.Rafe peaked out from the kitchen, frowning when he saw Topper. “What the hell is going on?”The blonde asked, coming into the kitchen.You looked over at him before looking back over to Kelce. “Topper-I think you were right.”Kelce replied quietly, looking at you.

 “Can you guys shut the hell up?”Rafe asked, becoming increasingly annoyed with the situation. “Kelce, man, I get what you’re trying to say but none of this is helpful, okay?”Rafe asked, surprising himself.This was usually Kelce’s job. 

“No, Rafe, it’s not okay.I cant just pretend that I dont feel the things I do anymore.I get that you dont have to hide it anymore and thats fucking fantastic for you but I dont want to hide it either, ight?”Kelce took in a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You felt Topper staring at you, regretting coming over here.He figured that he hadnt left things on the best note, wanting to come over and talk to you a little more since he was sure that he had freaked you out.

Somehow the four of you ended up on the floor, glancing at eachother as you all calmed down. “Rafe and I....we arent dating.”You spoke up, hoping that it wouldnt start another argument.

Rafe licked his lips, taking in a deep breath through his nose.He knew that it wasnt official but he hoped that you didnt see him as just a friend with benefits. 

“You dont have to date someone to love them, (Y/N).”Topper reminded you, his eyes trapped on his casted arm that rested in its black sling.You huffed, resting the back of your head on the cabinets.

 “I know, Top.I know....”You mumbled, tapping your fingertips on your kneecap. “Listen, im sorry for being a bitch.Its just...I dont know.I think I need to figure myself out.Between you guys and my parents I just bottle everything up.I shouldnt have blown up like that.”Kelce admitted, relieved when you reached over and squeezed his hand. 

“I get it, bubs.You know you can always talk to us, right?”You asked, wanting to hug him tightly and never let go but you figured it woul probably be awkward for him under these circumstances. 

“Yeah.”He replied, scratching at his eyebrow. “(Y/N)...you know we cant just forget that this conversation happened.We have to talk about this.”Topper spoke sternly, knowing that you would try to change the topic.Rafe nodded in agreement, wanting to know where he stood with you. 

“I know, I know.But....I dont think I know how I feel if im being honest.But if-when I do ill let you guys know, okay?”You asked, your heart pounding in your chest.You were such a liar.You werent supposed to lie to your bestfriends.

They all mumbled, shrugging.It wasnt exactly understandable but you assumed that it was a yes anyways, slowly standing up.Your legs were still partly tingling because of Rafe but you were just glad you could walk.

 “im going upstairs.You guys should just stay here for the night.”You told them, heading up to your bedroom quickly.You laid down on your bed, wishing that you had never slept with Rafe.Maybe that wouldnt make things so difficult for you right now.You couldnt imagine how upset you had made Rafe just a few moments ago.

“It doesnt matter if she ends up dating me, you know she cares about you guys more than anything else.”Rafe told them, biting the inside of his cheek.Topper chuckled, shaking his head. 

“You always get everything you want, Rafe.You get all her attention and even when I was in the hospital all she cared about was you.”He replied, glaring at his friend.Kelce groaned, resting his head against his palm. 

“We had to drag her out of the hospital, Topper.Literally.”He laid down on the tile floor, staring at the ceiling. “Come on, Kelce.She goes to you about everything.You know a whole side of her that we’ve never seen.That’s special.”Topper answered, wondering what kind of secrets Kelce knew that he didnt.Kelce’s eyes widened, sitting up again. 

“Wait-she doesnt tell you guys about our cooking talks?”Kelce asked.They shook their heads, chuckling. “Nope, might as well tell us about it.”Rafe grinned, excited to hear stories.Kelce smiled, feeling his face heat up.That meant it was his special thing that he had with you and noone else.

 “hmm...no.I’ll just keep it to myself.”Kelce answered, hearing them groan. “Wow, I see how it is.”Topper smiled.They sat on the floor talking for hours, eventually getting up and making a huge pot of ramen.

 “So what did you miss most while you were in the hospital?”Kelce asked, stirring the noodles. “Movie nights, one thousand percent.”He grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.

He thought about it constantly at night when you were asleep next to him on the hospital bed.He wondered what movies you’d all be watching together if he hadnt left the house that night.Rafe smiled, grabbing a fork.

 “We can have one of those now.I’ll go get (Y/N).”He turned to leave but was stopped by Kelce. “I’ll go.”He said quickly, not waiting for an answer before jogging upstairs.You had fallen asleep face down on your bed, snoring into the pillow.He stood in the doorway for a moment, listening to your breathing.

He sat at the foot of the bed, tapping your leg lightly. “Nooo....”You mumbled, moving your arms under the pillow to get more comfortable. “(Y/N), do you want some ramen?”Kelce asked, trying not to laugh. 

“hmmm....”You hummed into the pillow. “(Y/N).”He whispered again. “Whatttt?”You asked, voice muffled by the pillowcase. “Ramen.”He repeated, feeling you shift around. 

“What kind?”You asked, still half asleep. “Chicken with butter and garlic and fried egg.”He answered.You placed your head back on the pillow, thinking about it but slowly drifting into sleep again. 

“(Y/N).”He laughed, laying down to face you. “Yeah?”You asked, eyes squinting. “Ramen.”He repeated once more.You hummed, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”You answered. 

“You dont want ramen?”He asked, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “Yeah.”You answered, mouth slightly open as your face pressed against his shirt. “You want ramen?”He asked, scratching at your side.

 “Yeah.”You answered, your voice high pitched from sleep. “You gotta get up.”He told you, smiling to himself when your grip tightened. “No.”You answered, your leg falling across his stomach.

 “then you dont get ramen.”he answered. “Rude.”You grumbled, refusing to move off of him.He laughed, glad that you werent acting any different after everything that had happened.

He held on tight to you, rolling off the bed. “Put me down.”You yawned, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”He answered, walking down the stairs with you.The scent of ramen and garlic filled your nostrils, hearing a bowl being set down on the marble countertop.

Kelce put you down on one of the chairs, pushing a bowl of ramen in front of you.They were just poking at their noodies, swirling them onto their forks before letting it fall back into the bowl. 

“My mom called.”Topper blew on some noodles before shoving them in his mouth. “Shes mad about the car.She’s still in California.”He replied, getting another bite full. 

“At least you dont have to deal with her.”Rafe shrugged, looking for the brightside of things.Topper just hummed, staring into his bowl.None of you spoke after that, eating some ramen but not bothering to put the dishes in the sink. 

“Topper wanted to have a movie night.”Rafe mumbled, glancing over to Topper.You simply nodded, getting up and going into the living room.You curled yourself up into the corner of the couch, a pillow to your chest.

Kelce was on the other end of the couch, Topper on the floor next to him while Rafe sat not too far in front of you, reaching for the remote.Everything just felt so dead.

You wanted to reach out and play with Rafe’s hair or lean against Kelce but you knew not to for the sake of the others.You tried watching the movie, the volume low so that it wouldnt hurt Topper’s head.

It was some sort of dog movie from the early 2000s.Kelce was the first to fall asleep, snoring against the arm rest.Rafe was confused, not understanding what was going on.He was the second to fall asleep, face in the carpet not even half way through the movie. 

“Top, you awake?”You whispered, the movie in a dark scene right now. “Yeah, why?”He asked, looking over in your direction. “I dunno.You wanna talk?”You asked, keeping your voice quiet so you wouldnt bother Rafe or Kelce.Topper hummed, standing up slowly. 

“You wanna go outside?”He asked, already heading for the slider door.You followed him outside, hearing crickets and the sound of you pool.The two of you sat on the pavement by the water, staring at the lit up pool. 

“What do you want to talk about?”He asked, sticking his feet into the water.You just shrugged, not really knowing. “Do you wanna talk about earlier?”You asked, hoping that it wasnt too forward. 

“What about it?”He asked.You sighed, regretting bringing it up again. “I dont know, I just think we left off at a bad note.”You replied, sticking your hand in the water out of curiosity. “Yeah, yeah we did.But its either you love me or you dont, either is fine.”He replied, ignoring the pit in his stomach.

You remained silent, thinking. “Do you think its possible to love more than one person at a time?”You asked.His eyebrows raised at your words, blowing out a puff of air. 

“Well, its possible to hate more than one person at a time.Love and Hate are the same thing in the end.”He answered, kicking his feet back and forth under the surface of the water.

 “What does that mean?”You asked, not used to him saying things like that. “Well think about it.Love is just an extreme like and hate is just an extreme dislike.So if it was in a circle that means that hate and love touch.”He answered, dragging his fingernail against the pavement to make a small circle.

You nodded, flicking his finger. “So you think I can love more than one person at once?”You asked, wanting him to clarify.He nodded slowly. “I mean, you love Bucky and Henry Bowers and Jack Frost.Real people arent that different.We might be less attractive but not that different.”He answered, reaching for your hand. 

“Its okay if you havent figured things out yet, just let me know when you do.”He flashed you a grin that you could tell wasnt genuine. “But you know I love you no matter what, right?Like....even if I dont love you like that I still love you.”You told him, squeezing his hand lightly.

He nodded. “I know, bitch.”He laughed. “The only bitch here is you, bottom.”You replied, hoping he wouldnt push you into the water. “Last time I checked I wasnt a female dog.”He smiled, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. “What are you?12?”You asked.He nodded. “On the inside.”He replied.

Two chapters left-FUCK IM NOT READY

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[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Shikamaru with an Uchiha!S/o

“I saw that you did a Yamanaka!s/o for that anon, it was great! Can I ask for another one with Shikamaru, but this time with a Uchiha!s/o? Like, idk, if Sasuke had a twin sister and she stayed on the village, but she's a shinobi too? And she uses a sword like her brother, and some people of the village look at her suspiciously because of what her brother did? Thank you!!!” -anon

This came out kinda way longer then i meant it too be and wasn’t 100% focused on you and shikamaru so im sorry about that. 

Oh b o y

Where do i even start?

Being an uchiha, especially directly related to sasuke did not make you look good what so ever

You two were close at one point, inseparable even, but once your elder brother slaughtered your whole clan, you both kinda drifted a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, sasuke still cared for you and vice versa but he was much more cold and closed off about his feelings

No more “lets train to impress nii-san, y/n-chan” type of shit anymore

You still tried to remain a bit positive, and be nice to others unlike your brother

You didn’t agree with wanting to kill Itachi, because what good would that bring? How would killing someone because they killed solve anything?

During the first few years of school, shikamaru might not care much for you

Just another classmate in his eyes

Might even have a few negative thoughts in the back of his mind since you guys are twins

He never cared for sasuke since he’s never anything but an ass to people

And when he’s not he’s acting like a cocky shit

He thought you guys acted the same but that proved to not be the case when he saw you outside of class once

He was out getting some dango at a new place with choji and thats where he saw you

He didn’t really want to greet you but much to his surprise you greeted them with a smile

Even offered some of your dango and choji was extremely grateful for that

You guys held a pleasant conversation and ever since then have hung out at the dango place after school

After you guys became official shinobi, you didn’t have time to hang out every day but you did when you had the chance

You once got shikamaru to wear his headband actually on his head instead of his arm and boy did he look stupidly handsome

During some point in the chunnin exams, you noticed your brother’s desire for power has grown an alarming amount

It was no longer “lets train and ask our sensei’s to give us jutsu” but “I will do anything and everything in order to gain more strength”

It honestly scared you and so you went to shikamaru and ranted about it

He acted annoyed that you went on and on about someone he didn’t care for, but did truly listen to your words

“Don’t worry, its just his teenage angst faze kicking in.” “...maybe”  “I’m pretty sure everyone gets it, it’ll pass” “Even you?” “my emo faze lasted three whole minutes as i watched choji eat the food i was looking forward to all day”

Sasuke basically stopped showing emotions to you after the exam and it really saddened you

He basically treated you as someone he lived with

Not family or friend but like “oh thats my room mate i guess”

You were out with shikamaru when sasuke ran off to find naruto, he didn’t bother to explain and you honestly didn’t care

He wants to brawl with the loud blonde? Go for it

What you didn’t know is that he would run into Itachi

Or that itachi joined some terrorist group

You didn’t hear this news until later on when your sensei sat you down and explained the situation

shikamaru cheered you up as best as he could

when the Nara became chunin, instead of sitting besides sasuke all day who was recovering from a mission, you hung out with him

Sasuke wasnt that injured anyways and he may or may not have told you to quit worrying about him

called him handsome and he basically turned into a tomato 

got some bbq with his friends and when ino started commented about minding your weight and looks and stuff you kinda became slightly insecure in the moment

he cheered you and choji up by making a few jokes

you gave him a peck on the cheek and dude he had such a dumb smile on his face

ah man ive written too much and havent even reached shippuden yet im sorrryyy

lets speed threw this then

when sasuke left the village you were distraught but he did his best to cheer you up

reassured you he and his team will bring him back

you wanted in the mission and he was hesitant about it

you were a damn good kunoichi and you also had the sharingan too so that could help 

he eventually agrees

when yall fail the mission you cry because your emo duck-bitch of a twin didnt even bother to say good bye

Shikamaru does his best to make you feel better but he feels so guilty

he sincerely apologizes and chokes up a bit when hes talking about how he failed the mission and broke his promise on getting him back

you hug him and say its okay

from then on you guys get closer than ever

You dont remember exactly when but you got a sword, almost like a katana 

you learn how to use it and love it

Add some fire or lightning to it, man you feel like a bad ass

you carry it everywhere with you

little do you know you basically chose the same sword as sasu-gay

by the time shippuden starts, shikamaru awkwardly asks you out and you agree

as much as shikamaru loves you, the village doesnt think to well of you

your eldest brother slaughtered your clan and joined a terrorist group

and now your twin goes rouge and is proceeding to head down a darker path with orochimaru

they probably expect you to do something similar

some people even think that you only stayed in the village so you can give them intel and sell out the leaf’s secrets

basically the village cares for you as much as Tobirama did for the uchiha

not too much. 

in fact if you were gone they could finally be free of any uchiha

If your bothered by those rumors or things people say, shikamaru can’t really do anything to stop them

But he can do his best to take your mind off it

Might get you some dango and say to go cloud watching, or nap under some tree to let you relax

But remember this isn’t a one way relationship, you do stuff for shikamaru as well

When he was feeling stressed (though he didn’t really show it) about planning the next chunnin event, you gave him a massage and just let him relax

You got him his favorite food and took him to his favorite hill

He doesn’t really rant or talk a lot about his problems

He’s too lazy too and doesn’t feel like its that important

You make it clear to him that every opinion he has matters

You two some times go on little small lunch dates

Ino and choji are always somewhere in the background watching

Ino probably comments that you got the uchiha good looks and with out thinking shikamaru just agrees

Definitely became embarrassed when ino squealed and shook him around

Ah man there is actually to much drama around sasuke and itachi in shippuden and im lazy so lets forget about that 

I think shikamaru with an uchiha!s/o would probably be an 8/10 experience depending on how angsty you get

[violetnotez]

HC: Telekenesis Quirk! Reader

Anonymous:  You're such a good writer lmao can't relate. But Deku and Todoroki with a s/o who has a telekenesis quirk that gets harder to control the less she concentrates? Like she'll zone out and suddenly there's books stuck the the ceiling XD idk it just sounded cute to me

Ahhh thank you ya made ma heart feel all squishy :) And this is SO AdOrAbLeEeeeeeeE (PS- I havent written for Todoroki for a while so forgive me if my writing for him is a little rusty!)

(P.S.S)- I broke up the parts front Fluff and Angst for each boy because I felt this request could do well for both genres

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

-----------------------------

DEKU

Fluff:

Izuku thinks your quirk is SO FREAKING COOOOOOOL

He obviously made a journal about your quirk, because you’re his girlfriend, OF COURSE he’s going to study your powers!!!

The journal first started out as just another addition to his superhero notes

He has little notes from when you two train about fighting styles would best suit you and techniques to help you control your quirk, since when you get distracted or daze off, your quirk will sometimes activate by itself

The journal was very sophisticated and platonic, really…. until it became a journal of just YOU

It's chock full of little things he loves about you, like how your laugh sounds like wind chimes that make his spine tingle in the most delicate way ever, or the way your hair smells so lovely like fruit it makes him go crazy every time he smells it

May or may not have went to the shampoo aisle of the grocery store smelling every bottle to see if its one you use

It's also full of little moments between you two that he never wants to forget

One of the most adorable things he has witnessed when your quirk took over (and, of course, wrote down-this boi has written EVERYTHING) was when you had laid your head in Izuku’s lap during a Dekusquad outing to the park

Everyone spent the whole day studying and occasionally running around like children, playing childish games, until everyone had sat down to eat and the tiredness began to set in

You were currently in a peaceful food coma, letting Midoriya play with your hair as the sun began to set, turning the sky into a beautiful mixture of oranges, pinks, and indigos

While the rest of his friends were busy playing a game of UNO, he took the time to admire how beautiful you were: your skin was tan and rosy from the sunset, your lashes thick, your lips a pretty shade of pink and slightly parted… he blushed, wondering how he had gotten so lucky to have you

Unknowing to Midoriya, you were beginning to daze off from his touch- whenever he played with your hair you were instantly calmed and, 9 times out of 10, would fall asleep

You sighed contently, allowing the softness of sleep to drape you, until….

“Y/n….y/nnn..wake up princess,” you heard your boyfriend’s sweet voice, muffled by the thickness of sleep you were still in. But something was wrong- he sounded almost ...desperate? Scared?

Your eyes shot open, a terrifying realization hitting you- you were levitating yourself.

You, of course, had done this before while sleeping, but there was always a roof over your head. Yeah, you would hit your head and it would hurt, but at least you weren’t flying into the open sky.

You gasped loudly in shock, feeling yourself drop rapidly to the ground

Izuku instantly reacted, using a tiny bit of One for All (like .00000001% of it) to make him rapidly sprint to catch you from your fall

You grasped Izuku’s shirt, feeling the soft skin and toned muscles that always made you feel safe, trying to make your heart stop pounding from the slight scare

Izuku looked down at you, blushing slightly from how quickly he reacted and how cute you looked cuddled up against him

“Are you alright?” he asked, worry laced in his tone

“Of course I am,” you replied, your voice still groggy from sleep, “you’re here.”

Angst:

*Warning: mentions of blood

You woke up, your hair matted to one side with dirt and- blood?- your head hurt, your ears ringing, the arm you landed on felt so sore you didnt even want to look down at the damage 

You looked around, your vision fuzzy at the sides, trying to process what was going on- you could hear cries, screams, the crackling of fire- “that’s right” you thought, “Im fighting villians”

You then heard a voice that made your blood run cold

“I wont let you hurt her anymore!” Deku screamed, making you look desperately to find him- there he was, badly tattered and limping, holding one side of his suit, where red and purple was staining his skin, the mint green sleeve of his suit ripped away

The powerful villian laughed a cruel chuckle, advancing on poor Deku’s broken stance 

“You think your little whines are going to stop me, kid? Your lucky your little girlfriend is pretty, or would have killed her by now. But a pretty little thing like that could be of use to me.”

He smiled a disgusting grin, his perverted thoughts making Deku instantly furious

“No, you won't touch her! I WONT LET YOU !” he screamed, his quirk creating a ball of green energy erupt around his body as he charged at the gigantic villain now running at him.

You stared desperately at the exchange, the whole time wondering how Izuku was even still standing while the villain looked untouched

Seeing your boyfriend charge him- you couldn't take it- you were terrified and angry and scared for his life, knowing he couldn't keep this up- he'd killed himself

“NOOOOOOOO!” you screamed with all your might, not realizing you were making the rubble around you float violently, giant pieces of fallen building flying into the sky, heading to the thing that was causing your pain- this villian who had the audacity to hurt your boyfriend

The villain tried to block the rubble from hitting him, with no luck- it overtook him, instantly burying him in a pile of rubble

Deku stared at the now silent villain, turning slowly to see you, battered and bloody, before you fell to the ground from over use of your quirk

-------------------------------------

TODOROKI

Fluff:

Todoroki first began to have feelings for you very early on- he found you to be the most beautiful girl he had ever seen with a heart made of gold.

 Whenever you two talked, he felt like you treated him like a person, not the “Son-of- Endeavor”, or “The-Boy-Who-Got-In-With-Reccomendations”- you truly talked to him to get to know him for who he was

It was refreshing and irritating at the same time- he was scared of any love and affection after what his father did to his poor mother, even though he desperately needed it

After months of containing his love for you, he realized-slowly- that you liked him back

You two were both in the library, completely alone

You of course didn't think Todokroki had feelings for you, as you did for him- you had accepted that you had a pitiful one-way admiration

With Todoroki’s presence merely a few feet away, you couldn't concentrate on your studies, but you couldnt bring yourself to leave

All you wanted to do was stare at the perfect separation of red and white in his hair, the scar that felt so mesmerizing and so him, that strong jawline that always made you feel weak in the knees….

Todoroki felt the tips of hair begin to lift slightly, as if a soft breeze was carrying him up. He watched as his book began to mysteriously lift in the air, the uncanny feeling of being watched making him turn sharply to look at you, an unreadable expression on his face

Todoroki’s piercing, mismatched eyes made you break from your daze, realizing you had been staring- and had used your quirk by accident

His book slammed back onto the table, his hair flopping back to his body, tickling his skin

He watched as you instantly looked down, fidgeting to get your books together hastily together, your cheeks a bright cherry red

He thought it was pretty cute, to see you so flustered 

Just as you were practically pacing out of the library to escape the embarrassing situation, Todoroki stopped in front of you, forcing you to stop as well

“I know you were staring at me.” he said matter-of-factly, making your whole face red

Why did he find that so irresistibly cute?

“I-I-I-uh-” you stuttered, having know idea what to say

You instinctively reached up to brush your hair behind your ear, but-

Todoroki grabbed your hand, his hand warm and calloused

“Would you like to accompany me... on a date tomorrow night?”He swallowed, a twinge of nervousness visible on his calm face

You stared, dumbfounded at the mysterious boy in front of you, not knowing really how things turned so well for you

“I-uh-yes!” you smiled, “I’d love to.”

Angst:

You watched helplessly as the whole forest erupted in flames, the orange tendrils lciking up the sides of the trees, dangerously close to your reddened face

“What was going?” you thought desperately “How did I get here?” Everything was destroyed, every object turning to ash before you...you had to get out...but where was Todoroki?

You began running, flying through the charred leaves as the flames crackled around you

You didn't know where you were going, until you were met with a clearing, the once healthy grass now nothing but dirt and ash that was attacking your airways

A fierce battle was going on, it definitely being the source of the flames- both attackers were fire wielders, going at each other mercilessly- but one of the attackers was different-he was using ice as well

“Todoroki!” you tried to yell, unable to use your throat- it was like someone was choking you, making you unable to talk

You tried to move, to grab your boyfriend and escape, but- you couldn't move. None of your body parts working properly.

You stood there paralyzed, helpless to the situation, unable to move as you watched your boyfriend fight his father, Endeavor, no mercy being evident on either side

Panic flooded your system, only able to watch as the battle began to go in Endeavor's favor, your lover getting hurt more and more and more...

Todoroki rolled over, reaching out his hand to find the warmth of your body, confused to find that you weren’t beside him

He had at first groggily thought you had gotten up to go to get some water, only to look up and be shocked out of his sleepiness

You were floating a foot above the place you were sleeping, your body in the shape of a “T”

Your arms were limply spread out, away from your body, as your head lolled back as if someone was pulling the strands of your hair 

“Y/n!” he gasped, quickly pulling you back to the bed 

You face was contorted in such a look of pain, Todoroki then began to realize you must be having a nightmare

He began to shake you awake gingerly, calling you by your name and his pet names he had for you

You finally woke up, gasping loudly as if you had been drowning in water

You looked around, panting, not recognizing where you were at first, finally realizing you were in the strong arms of your boyfriend

“How did you-what happened-I” you asked confused, grasping his face between your hands and just relishing the feeling of his skin, his scar, his hair, terrified this was a dream and your nightmare was real

“You were having a nightmare,” Todoroki stated, placing a hand above the one you had on his cheek, “but youre okay, I got you now. Youre safe.”

-----------------------

Requests open!!!!

[tangledstarlight]

work in progress wednesday 

hello hi! okay so i’m working on a few different things right now because i have no self control but i’d thought i’d show you the rough outline i have worked out for my reincarnation au since i just gotta super excited about the idea of it again. and also part of this juke fake dating au i have because i feel like if i post it somewhere it might make me actually finish it

reincarnation au

i work in a really annoying way in which i have to physically write stuff out first, so i’ve basically got all this on flashcards with extra information/plot details about each decade/century. and also a flashcard for each of the main characters, colour coded, with things that stay the same in each life, and points that tie them all together (i’m literally so close to ordering red string and creating a crime scene murder board for organisation hfj). 

i’m sticking with the greek gods vibe, mostly because i love a bit of greek mythology, which means rose is Hestia because the home, hearth & family vibes are strong in the molina household if you ask me. i havent settled on a god for caleb yet but i’m leaning towards one who deals with chaos? it’s still a little up in the air.

i’m still trying to figure out what’s going to happen between 300bc and the 1300′s because there’s gotta be at least one life in there somewhere yknow?

i have to say i’m most excited about writing the willie interlude chapter and boys as cowboys, they just feel like they’re gonna be fun. 

juke fake dating au

i really like what i have, and i love a fake dating au but i just...idk the motivation to actually finish it seems to have vanished and that makes me sad

“So. I’ve got a... proposition for you. Or a request I guess. A deal? An idea of mutual beneficial rewards?” Julie frowned, head tilted to the side as she thought about it. During all her rehearsing of this moment she had completely forgotten to think about how to actually approach the topic. 

Now she was just sounding crazy if the raised eyebrows Luke was shooting her way were any indication. 

“I’m listening. Unless you’re about to ask me to help you commit some kind of crime, then we might have to do this somewhere a little less,” he twirled a finger in the air and leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice to a whisper “public. Don’t wanna get caught.” 

He said it all with such an easy smile, calming her racing nerves without even realising that’s what he was doing. Or maybe he did know. Everyone always joked about how Luke was constantly wrapped up in his music, he didn’t notice much going on around him, but he could be surprisingly in tune with his friends' emotions when he wanted to be. Which is part of the reason why Julie was doing this, she reminded herself. There was a reason it was Luke she was asking. 

“I think we should fake date.”

The words hung in the air between them. And, now they were out in the open, Julie realised just how mad the whole idea sounded. The sight of Luke’s smile freezing, eyebrows rising higher as his eyes grew wider (a look that, under other circumstances would have made her laugh) had Julie rushing to get out her explanation before he could completely say no. She had put a lot of thought into this! 

“No, no, listen! I know it sounds weird and silly and completely crazy. But it makes sense! Dad and Carlos have been worrying and Tia is convinced I’ve sworn off relationships because I’m scared of getting hurt because of mom and what happened with Nick and Flynn is constantly trying to set me up on dates. Even though I’ve told them all I’m perfectly fine! There’s nothing wrong with being single and alone, and it’s not even like I’m alone-alone. I have friends. I’m not some kind of crazy recluse.” Julie felt herself spiralling into a rant and had to take a deep breath to pull herself back. Luke still hadn’t moved since she’d started speaking, though she could swear his lips twitched in an almost smile. 

“And! You’re always saying how your mom drives you mad about how you’ve never brought someone home to meet them. And Alex and Reggie are always teasing you about not being able to keep a date because you’re always scaring people away with your crazy intense music obsession and how you’re going to be forever alone surrounded by guitars instead of cats.” Reggie had gone into scary details about how he thought Luke’s life was going to play out, it was both terrifying and hilarious. 

“If we pretend to date for a few weeks it will get them all off our backs, we wouldn’t even have to change all that much about what we do now. Maybe just, dinner or something, hold hands. You already spend all your time here anyway. And then in a month or something we can have an amicable break up. Everyone wins.” She ended her speech a little out of breath, having rushed through all her thoughts. Luke is still looking at her, his eyes still wide and his smile frozen in place. But he was still sitting at the counter, which Julie was going to take as a good sign. 

“So? What do you think?” She chewed on her lip, casting her eyes down and trying - and failing - to not fidget with her fingers. Luke still hadn’t responded, hadn’t moved. Oh god, he thought it was a terrible plan didn’t he? 

Now he was never going to want to hang out with her again, he’d avoid coming to the cafe and stop inviting her to their gigs and she’d be down to only Flynn as a friend and she really would be a recluse. 

Was there a limit on how many cats you could adopt at once? She didn’t think her apartment building even allowed cats. Great, now she was going to have to move as well!

“Hey,” Luke’s voice was gentle as it pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts, and he must have been trying to get her attention for a while, she thinks, because one of his hands is reaching out to settle on top of hers that had started tapping insistently on the counter top. Julie hadn’t even realised she was doing that. 

“You put a lot of thought into this whole, fake dating thing, huh?” He says the words ‘fake dating’ carefully, slowly, like he’s worried about something. But Julie doesn’t know what. She nods her head though, blowing out a breath and raising her eyes again until they land on Luke’s own. 

“Even made a powerpoint. There were pictures and graphs.” 

Luke laughed at that and Julie felt all the sudden tension leave her shoulders. She’s reminded, again, that this is Luke and there is a reason why she’s asking him to part-take in her crazy plan. 

“I mean-” He pauses, tilting his head a little to the side, his eyes unfocused as he seems to think something over. Julie waits, forces her hand, that is still underneath his, to be still lest she seem impatient for his answer. Which she is, but Luke doesn’t need to know that. It feels like an eternity has passed before he’s blinking, eyes focusing on hers and a wide grin breaking across his face. Julie can’t help but smile back reflectively. 

“I guess it wouldn’t really change all that much about our lives, huh? We’d just get to hang out more. And it would be nice for my parents and the guys to get off my back about never going out on dates.”

It takes Juile a moment to realise what exactly Luke is saying. 

“Wait, you mean you’ll do it?” She had hoped he would agree, but actually hearing him say it is a whole other thing. 

“Yeah, of course I’ll do it. And hey, it could be kinda fun!” There’s an infectious excitement in Luke’s voice and Julie grins, impulsively turns her hand over on the counter top so she can link their fingers together and squeeze his hand.

[grunklefidds]

i was thinking a lot about fiddleford's family last week, so here's a dump of thoughts (headcanons i guess) about his ex-wife and tate

ideas abt emma-may dixon (formerly mcgucket):

She's also Appalachian (I think this can be inferred with some confidence from her name lol)..... from Kentucky maybe.

She's an ecologist who studies sediment transport in rivers. She's a uni professor (has been at same place since the 80s) bc that is largely how getting tenure works as far as I'm aware.

        -Tate's thing in this doc about being ashamed of being Smart and his choice to... run a fishing supplies shop are only partly because of complicated feelings about his dad. He saw the sort of social circles that come with academic/research work and NOPED out of there.

She went to the same college as Fiddleford and Stanford, and is about the same age as them (give or take 2 or 3 years). She and Fidds started dating near the end of their time there and got married maybe two years later (Tate was born shortly after that... he'd be 5ish while F was first in Gravity Falls).

        -She and Ford met a few times but Ford was too self-absorbed and focused on his studies to really make any close friends during college aside from F. Maybe they hung out in a group once or twice.

She and Fidds had a pretty solid relationship before he disappeared. They both liked nerd junk. Lots of cheesy humor in the air. She's occasionally frustrated by him running off to the garage to work on something for hours on end without pausing to deal with stuff around the house or telling her at all where he is, but it's not a huge thing (and she gets very into her own work too, for that matter).

She's generally a sweet person if pretty achievement-oriented and a bit high-strung. Always gives students extensions if they ask for them.

She tried to make things work w Fiddleford for maybe a year after he started really losing his grip (he stopped calling home and it freaked her out), she made weekend trips up to Gravity Falls while a friend watched Tate and tried to spend time with him, and tried to coax him into coming home. At some point Fiddleford didn't recognize her until after she burst into tears because of something odd/callous he said while disoriented. That wasn't the turning point for her but it was close to it. She divorced him maybe a year and a half after he stopped calling home.

    (Side note: why didn't Fiddleford go home after leaving the portal project...? I get that he wasn't in a calm state of mind at the time but being in the town at all was clearly causing him a LOT of stress. Mr Hirsch answer me this.)

She remarried maybe 8 years after that. Tate does not get along well with this stepdad.

      - She's also divorced this guy by the time canon rolls around. Bad luck with men in general :(. She has a good network of close work friends at least.

Tate moved to Gravity Falls when he was about 24 and occasionally updates her on how Fiddleford is doing when he calls home. It's never a pleasant time for either of them.

-I vaguely like the idea of Tate being at least somewhat involved in the Society of the Blind Eye and not knowing anything about his dad's role in it (since it had been years since Fiddleford was actually coordinating anything by the time he moved there, I imagine). Just a little jumping-off point for angst lol.

She still lives in California. She's possibly still working during canon but is probably retired in 2020.

After Weirdmaggedon, Fiddleford reaches out to her (eventually. he waits a while on this lol) and they work back up to a friendship that's not particularly close but still solid. Regardless she's RELIEVED to hear that he's more lucid through Tate, even before he reaches out himself.

Neither of them tell her most of the long story of what happened w Fiddleford (she picked up some fragmented context while trying to keep things together in the 80s but he was already so scattered that she doesn't know anything about the portal) or what happened with the town in general or what caused Fiddleford getting healthier. This is in part because of the 'lets not talk abt it lol' ordinance, in part because Tate couldn't really properly explain if he tried and in part bc Fiddleford REALLY struggles to recount the early years with the memory gun even on good days. This frustrates her but she gets that it seems to be mostly because of the difficulty in saying the thing and not because they want to keep things from her.

          (extra:) She ends up meeting Ford along with Fidds a few years after Weirdmaggedon and she's like Oh My Goodness Stanford Pines where have you been all these years! I havent heard anything about you since that project you wanted Fiddleford on :D and he's like 😶

(bonus if F and Ford are married at this point. or if it occurs AT their wedding haha)