#because the last time i had a cat act like that she ended up dying (not solely by my own neglect

[baccan0pe]

.

[auspicioustidings]

No second location, that was the mantra that had been drilled into your head. So when a man bullied his way into your passenger seat, put a gun to your head and told you to drive, you did that. When he told you to take the next cut off you did not.

"Naw think I'll shoot ye?"

"Think if you do we're doing 80 and we're both meeting a quick end."

It's night time, quiet motorway that stretches for hours and hours. He laughs in disbelief after the initial plan to intimidate you fails. You can't keep driving forever, but he is fascinated by the attempt.

One hour in and you know each others names. He knows what music you like, knows you're single, that you have a cat. You know this is the first time he's brought a girl back (or has tried to at least), that he's the youngest in his team and this is an initiation of sorts. He connects his phone so he can blast his music. "Naw dying in a blaze of glory to fuckin' showtunes sweetheart."

You scream at one point, raw fury. He screams with you, whooping as you pick up speed and hit 100 in a moment of blind emotion before you slow a little again. He's touching you, a hand running down your body as he whispers filth into your ear. You give him nothing, act unaffected as your hands grip the wheel so tight they are turning pale.

There's a phone call. One of his team.

"As beautiful as you'd be dead, your pretty corpse is of fuck all use if it's burned to a crisp in a fireball."

"Oh, I don't talk about necrophilia until the second date."

"Fuck LT ye should see her. Spitting mad, think she might actually kill herself just tae take me with her."

Soap groans the words out, hard over the idea of dying in this car with you, throbbing with the knowledge that maybe you hate him so much you're willing to give up your life to spite him.

There are other team members, you try and block it all out. You are crying with frustration because soon the motorway will run out. Maybe you'll just drive straight to a police station, but then Price who you think may be their leader tells you that if his boy goes to jail, he may as well do it for murder.

"Soap'll blow your pretty brains right out of your skull luv, now pull off at the next exit and follow directions."

"Isn't it apparent by now that I'd rather die?"

"If that were true you'd have crashed 100 miles back."

He's right. You don't want to die. You really do not want to die. Over the last few hours you've developed an aversion to Soap dying as well. He's crazy, certifiably insane, but the danger of him is the kind of danger that comes with the flood of adrenaline that borders on erotic with how strong it is. You're sort of attached, trauma bonded maybe.

But the mantra persists. No second location.

Soap grins wildly when he sees how you relax, how your eyes fill with resignation. He can see what you're going to do. So he kisses you, tongue trying to bury itself as far into your mouth as possible.

"Let's dae it baby."

So you do. You bank hard right and the car goes flying, tumbling over and over into a field. You don't know how you survive it, but the next thing you know you are in the back of an ambulance. The police question what happened once you're stable in the hospital. You tell them everything. Psychotic break they think, suicide attempt. After all, yours was the only body in that car when they got there.

[syoish-aot]

"I Found You" - EREN/READER - REVERSE ISEKAI (part 8 - FINALE)

reverse isekai, time travel, memory loss

post canon

reader/eren

word count: 3912

<- PART 7

*note: This part includes the song "Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez (spotify / youtube) and I very strongly recommend listening to it once that scene starts. You'll be able to tell when to play it.

And now, for the end:

*****

You thought that with Mikasa here, Eren would finally start to act more normal.

You thought wrong.

In fact, it almost feels like he’s avoiding you more now. 

You can barely catch sight of him in the crowded restaurant, as the hours pass and everyone gets a little more drunk. On the occasions that you do see him, he’s always tucked away in a corner talking to Armin. Or Mikasa. Or Jean or Sasha or Connie.

The fact that it’s them isn’t weird, they’re his best friends, but what is weird is that you’re not included. What is weird is the way the conversation comes to a sudden stop when you approach. What is weird is the sudden tension that washes over Eren as his back straightens, he takes in a breath, and his eyes immediately go to anywhere but you. 

It’s. Weird.

And it hurts so much that you constantly have to remind yourself not to cry.

You’re trying to piece together what happened. What you did wrong. But you genuinely have no idea! Last night had been date night. You’d gone out to see a movie that Eren had been dying to see and then you came home. You and Eren made dinner together before you fell into bed and passed out next to each other, feeling like your life was perfect.

But then you’d woken up this morning and things had been far from perfect. 

Things had been the exact opposite of perfe-

“You look like shit,” Hitch says as she leans against the bar next to you.

“Lovely to see you too, Hitch.”

Hitch is more of a friend-in-law than anything. A member of Eren’s social circle that you were sucked into when the two of you started dating. The only times you've really been “close” to her have been during drunken meet-ups in bar bathrooms when you've both sobbed about how pretty the other is while vowing to be best friends for life.

Normal girl stuff.

“Trouble in paradise~?” She teases as you roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink.

“No.” You immediately answer (despite the obvious lie).

Hitch laughs. “Alright, so the way you keep glaring at your boyfriend is some new form of foreplay then?”

Your cheeks burn. “Hitch that’s- you’re so gross!”

Hitch shrugs. “I’m just calling it like it is.” 

Her eyes follow yours and she looks over at Eren. He’s on the other side of the restaurant with Armin, speaking in hushed tones with a serious expression on his face. 

“I’m worried he’s about to break up with me.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

In a shocking turn of events, Hitch doesn’t tease you about it. “Really?” She asks seriously.

“...yeah…”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s just-” you sigh, “he was so weird this morning and he’s been avoiding me all day. When he looks at me it’s completely different from the way he normally looks at me. It’s like he’s- like he’s mad or something. I don’t get it.”

Hitch shrugs. “Did you guys get into a fight?”

“No.”

“Then he’s probably just being a weird guy about something. I bet you said something stupid and now he’s all in his head. Men are like that, you know. Stupidly emotional over the tiniest things.”

The world really must be fucked, because what Hitch is saying almost… makes sense.

“At the risk of regretting this,” you start before you tear your eyes away from Eren and look over at her, “what should I do?”

Hitch snickers and smiles that stupid Cheshire cat smile that you hate. “If it were me,” which you’re glad it’s not, given Hitch’s awful track record, “I’d give him a nice little reminder of what he’d be missing if he left.”

“Like what?”

“Quickie in the bathroom. I dunno.”

Your cheeks burn for the second time. “Hitch it’s the opening night of Niccolo’s restaurant!!”

She laughs loudly. “And what a perfect way to christen the handicap stall!”

“I can’t believe you…” You mumble as you stare back at your glass.

Then again… maybe she’s not completely wrong. 

Not about screwing your boyfriend in the bathroom of your friend’s newly opened restaurant, of course! But about giving Eren a reminder. It didn’t seem like an awful idea, anyway.

You stare down at your drink.

And then you chug the rest of it.

*****

“So we’re just born again or something and it’s- it’s like no one even cares about before?” Eren asked, scowling at the table he and Armin were sitting at. Mikasa had filled him in about how everyone’s memories get triggered at some point, but she’d left it at that after they’d gotten distracted talking about-...

His eyes naturally trail across the restaurant until they fall to you.

His cheeks flush.

Damit.

He looks away.

Armin laughs softly. “I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get used to it.”

“Doubt that,” Eren mumbled as he returned to the subject at hand. He takes a nervous breath. “I-... I killed too many people to get off that easy.”

Armin was silent for a moment. “Yes we-... we did.”

Eren slowly looks over at Armin. Armin, who was staring into his glass as he ran his thumb up and down the condensation, seemingly lost in thought.

“The thing about this life though,” Armin starts, “is that everyone has an understanding that it’s… it’s different. None of the stuff that happened before happened here. Yes, you still need to make amends but- but everyone gets it. Everyone understands that our last lives were complicated and instead of focusing on that we just try to enjoy the chance we’ve been given to live again.” 

Eren looks around the restaurant at the people he knew hundreds of years ago who are alive again under completely different circumstances. 

Marco is playing darts with Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt. He hits a bullseye and all four of them cheer. 

Sasha is sneaking a french fry off of Gabi’s plate. Gabi smacks her and with a scowl but Sasha flashes her a peace sign and sticks the french fry into her mouth. 

Samuel wraps an arm around Connie’s shoulder and ruffles his short hair as Daz laughs next to them. 

And then his eyes fall to you.

You, chatting with Hitch, of all people, at the bar.

You’re blushing about something, and he can’t help but admit to himself that you look cute when you do it. His heart does what it’s done all day when he looks at you and it starts pounding in his chest. He doesn’t get it. He really doesn’t get it. Who are you and how do you fit in with everyone here? You’re the only person in the entire restaurant that he doesn’t know, and yet the way you talk to everyone makes it seem like you’ve known them all just as long as he has.

Maybe even longer.

“You’re probably wondering who she is.” Armin smiles.

Eren’s cheeks turn slightly pink (again) and he quickly looks away from you as if he’s ashamed that he’d been caught.

And he is, sort of.

He is ashamed that he doesn’t remember someone who seems to matter so much.

“I wasn’t wondering…” Eren lies.

Instead of prodding, Armin just laughs and takes a sip of his beer. “Not everyone is like us,” Armin tells him, as he places his glass back on the table. 

“You mean reincarnated or- or whatever this is?”

“Yeah,” Armin replies, “exactly.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one knows.” Armin answers. “We all have our guesses, obviously, but it’ll be impossible to ever prove any of them right.”

“What do you think?” If anyone had it figured out (or at least mostly figured out) it would have been Armin.

Armin pauses for a moment. “I think… I think that this life gets given to people who deserve a second chance. People who didn’t get to live happily the first time around, so now they can try again.”

“What’s your proof of that?”

“No proof,” Armin laughs, “just a feeling.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Eren mumbles. “You’re just… different now.”

Armin throws his head back and laughs. “Hopefully not too different.”

“Nah. It’s a good thing. You were too much of a know-it-all before.” The corners of Eren’s lips tug into a small smile as he says it and it feels- it feels good to smile. He didn’t get to do much of that in his last few years alive. 

Armin scoffs before he laughs. “Rude Eren, rude.”

Eren’s smile grows wider as their eyes meet and he feels… alive.

For the first time since he woke up, he feels alive.

“Hey, Eren.”

The smile immediately wipes off his face as you appear next to him.

Coffee. Marker. Spaghetti and wine.

Eren rapidly blinks as he reaches up to rub his temples. “The fuck is-”

Your hands are in his. You pull them away from his head and Eren’s eyes flutter open to see you right in front of him. Just like how he’d woken up that morning.

He quickly looks over at Armin, wordlessly asking for his best friend to save him.

Instead, Armin smiles and says: “I’ll give you guys some alone time.”

“But Armin I-”

“What?” He asks with a short laugh. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to spend time with your girlfriend?”

Eren’s mouth slams shut. He feels like it’d be weird if he denied it because obviously the version of him that knew her would have been jumping at the opportunity. 

“Don’t stress about it, Eren,” Armin tells him as he places a hand on Eren’s shoulder. He suddenly gets a suspicion that his friend knows about the random thoughts that keep coming to mind. “Just take it slow and you’ll figure it out.” Armin pats his shoulder before walking away.

“R-Right…” Eren mumbles.

Ever so slowly, he looks back to you.

Your hands are still holding his as you stare up at him. Eyes wide, lips slightly parted and taking in shallow breaths. It looks like you’re studying him. Watching. Waiting for some sort of clue that’ll give you a big grand “ah-hah!” moment. 

And it makes his heart race. 

His fingers twitch with the desire to reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as if- as if he knows what it would feel like to do that.

As if he’d done it before.

“Follow your instincts,” Mikasa had told him, “no matter which lifetime, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

Eren swallows a lump in his throat and, for the first time all day, he lets the part of him that has been begging him to talk to you, to be next to you, to touch you-

He lets it take over.

He lets his instincts take over.

His fingers delicately ghost across your cheek, which starts to warm under his touch. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear but his fingers linger there for a moment longer, admiring your soft skin and the way it sends a rush from his fingers right through to his heart.

Laughing as you walk through the park on campus. Taking pictures at your university graduation. Drunkenly stumbling down the street after a night out.

This time it’s not single sensations with no context of where they’re from. This time the thoughts- the memories, Eren realizes, are more vivid. More real. And it’s you, clearly you, front and center in all of them.

It’s you.

“I’m-” he speaks without even knowing he’s doing it. It’s his instincts again. The part of him that knows you. “I’ve been- um… distant.”

“Yeah..” you answer softly.

“I just- My head’s all- I-”

“Eren.” You cut him off and he immediately looks back at you.

The night sky. The stars. A swirl of green and blue.

You smile as you reach up to cup his hand, the hand that’s still against your cheek, in yours. “I love you.” You tell him.

The words tumble from Eren’s mouth before he even has a second to catch them: “I love you too.”

“Let's clear up some space, guys!” Niccolo calls as everyone begins to push the tables aside to make room for a dance floor.

You and Eren, snapped out of whatever moment you’d been having, jump apart.

Before the music even starts Sasha excitedly dances around as she pulls Niccolo along with her in anticipation. 

Yesterday, you would have done the same thing as Sasha and tugged your boyfriend to the dance floor without the option of saying ‘no’. But today- today things are different and you still don’t know why.

You’re worried that if you asked him to dance he’d…

The music starts and you can’t help glancing over at Eren only to realize he’s already looking at you.

Your cheeks flush a light pink in response and, for some reason, his do the same. There’s a moment of hesitation, a moment where you think he’s going to turn away and avoid you like he’d been doing all day.

And then…

Georgia~

Eren holds a hand out to you.

Wrap me up in all your- I want you…

You slowly take it.

In my arms- Oh, let me…

He pulls you closer.

…hold you

His other hand presses to your lower back.

I’ll never let you go again, like I did

Oh, I used to say~

And then you’re slowly moving, just the two of you, sucked into your own little world as you become completely oblivious to everyone around you.

He avoids your eyes but still finds a way to steal little glances here and there. He seems-

Embarrassed. 

Just like he did the day you accidentally ran a black marker over his new shirt.

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her- I found you

“Welcome back, stranger.” You smiled at Eren as he entered the coffee shop for the second time.

Georgia, pulled me in I asked to- love her

“Are you asking me on a date?” “Don’t laugh, you’ll hurt my ego.”

Once again You fell, I- caught you

You both jump as you walk side-by-side and your hands accidentally brush against each other. You look over at him at the same time he tries to steal a glance at you. And then you both burst out laughing.

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

You kiss for the first time on a park bench.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

“I love you.”  “That’s… so cringe.”

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

You excitedly threw yourself into his arms as he placed his last moving box in your apartment.

I found you

The memories come back to Eren in vivid flashes as you move around the dance floor. It should be overwhelming- having two lives suddenly meshing together in his head but it’s- it’s not. It’s-

“Eren?” You ask, just like you’d been doing all day and never receiving an answer. “Are you okay?”

He slides a red velvet box into his bedside table before you burst into the room and ruin the surprise.

“Yeah,” Eren answers softly, “I’m-...” 

I would never fall in love again until I found her

“I’m great.” He smiles.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

His hand comes up to cup your cheek, gently stroking his thumb across your skin.

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

Your lips meet.

I found you…

You come to a slow stop on the dance floor as you kiss, the memories of his lives- both of them, settling in their entirety in Eren’s mind.

He might not have known you in his last lifetime, but he found you in this one.

And in that moment, to Eren, that was all that mattered.

Eren pulls away, smiling down at you as his thumb brushes across your cheek. He wonders what would happen if he did try to explain it to you. Sure, he might sound crazy, but he has a feeling that you’d believe him. That you’d understand. That you’d hear him out and be just as equally amazed as he is when you realize what an amazing opportunity he’s been given, they've all been given, to live for the second time.

So maybe he’ll tell you one day.

Maybe they all will.

Eren settles on the promise to himself. The promise that one day he’d be honest. For now though, he just wanted to enjoy the life he’d been given. 

And the fact that because of it, he found you.

********

“It looks great, Niccolo,” Eren tells his friend with a wide grin as he firmly shakes his hand. “Bet you’ll have the most popular restaurant on the whole block.”

“My only competition is a bakery that’s closed every day but Sundays,” Niccolo replies.

“See? You’re already killing it!”

Niccolo laughs and shakes his head. “Glad you could make it, Eren.” He says, patting Eren’s shoulder as he passes him a knowing glance. “And… we’re glad to have you back.”

You aren’t entirely sure what Niccolo means by it, but you figured that today was weird enough that you aren’t going to question it.

“Nicoooooooooo…” Sasha drunkenly drawls as she leans against the door of the restaurant. “There’s no more wineeeee…”

“Oh god.” Niccolo sighs.

You snicker as he turns around and catches his shit-faced fiancé before she ends up face-first against the pavement.

“Ready to go?” Eren asks, wrapping his arm around your shoulders before he presses his lips to the top of your head.

“Yep!”

You and Eren were one of the last few to leave. Everyone else had gotten way too drunk to stay any longer, but Eren hadn’t wanted to go home. He was having too much fun dancing, laughing, and bouncing around the room like a complete social butterfly.

“You had a lot of energy tonight.” You joke as the two of you walk down the street. 

Eren laughs. “I was excited.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I think you talked to everyone there, even Annie.”

He scoffs. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You normally try to avoid her after that time she threw you over her shoulder and kicked your ass.”

“No, no, no you’re remembering that wrong.”

“I am not!”

“Totally are. I kicked her ass, remember?”

“Okay,” you snicker, “just keep telling yourself that.” 

It doesn’t take you long to reach the train station. Eren’s arm is still around your shoulder as you take a seat on one of the benches. The sign above the station indicates that your train should be there in five minutes, but you don’t really care how long it takes.

With a sigh, you lean against Eren’s chest and he secures his arm around you, rubbing your shoulder as he does it.

“Cold?” He asks.

“Nah.” You reply. 

He pulls off his jacket and places it around you anyway.

“Now you’re gonna be cold, dumbass.” You mumble, tightening his jacket around you nonetheless.

Eren scoffs. “I’m too sexy to get cold.”

“So you’re saying I’m not sexy?”

“Eh.” He shrugs. “You’re alright.”

You playfully slap his chest but he grabs your hand before you can pull it away. “Hey.” He says seriously as he curls his fingers around yours.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” He kisses the tips of your fingers. “For… For being weird earlier.” He kisses you again.

“...It’s okay.” You mumble.

“No, it’s not. I was being distant for no reason and it was probably really shitty for you.”

You curl your fingers around his and squeeze his hand as you look down into your lap. “It-… yeah it kinda sucked.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Eren reassures you.

“Then… what happened?”

He opens his mouth to say something, but just as quickly closes it again. “It’s-... It’s not something that's easy to talk about.”

He thinks about the promise he made to himself earlier. The promise to tell you one day. To tell you the entire story, not leaving out a single detail, starting the moment he woke up from a weird dream in Shiganshina and ending when Mikasa’s blade met his neck.

He needs time though.

Time to think about how to say it. To tell it. To put it in a way that he can convey how wrong he was in his last life and how much better he wants to be in this one.

Time.

One of the two major things he was missing in his first life.

Time and…

“It’s okay, Eren.” Your words cut through his thoughts. “Just tell me when you’re ready.”

The way you look at him, with so much trust in your eyes, makes Eren smile.

So he promises it to himself again. He promises that he’ll tell you, one day, after a little bit of time.

Eren reaches over to cup your cheek in his hands and pull you in for a kiss.

You sigh against his lips as your eyes slide closed and the comforting familiarity of his kiss makes everything in the world seem right.

It makes everything seem perfect, once again.

And you don’t want to change a single thing-

Crisp hospital sheets. The afternoon light against his bandaged face. Brightly coloured pills in a paper cup.

You freeze as Eren pulls away from the kiss.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I snuck you an extra apple, don’t tell anyone or they’ll accuse me of picking favourites.”

“Hey,” he brushes his fingers across your forehead.

“Why would I skip out on the festival, it sounds like fun!”

“What’s going on?”

Fire. Rubble. Screaming.

He calls your name.

A grip. A squeeze. A pop.

“Can you hear me?”

The deafening sound of complete silence. Followed by the terrifying sight of pitch black.

Your eyes flutter open. 

You don’t recognize where you are. You don’t recognize the sounds, or the smells, or the loud voice that comes from nowhere saying: “next train arriving, please stand behind the yellow line”.

But you do recognize something.

Someone.

And the sight of him, freshly shaved, hair cut and styled, free of bandages with no crutches to make up for a missing leg- it makes your heart flutter, just like it always did in that hospital room.

You smile, because what other reaction could you possibly have when you’re looking at the man you were forbidden to love, but loved so deeply despite it. 

You say the only thing that makes sense, given the miracle before you:

“Are we in heaven, Mr. Kruger?”

Suddenly Eren knows exactly who you are.

Suddenly, he remembers why he’d tried so hard to forget.

“She’s distracting you, Eren,” Zeke said, his baseball on the bench between them. “She’s not,” was Eren’s only reply.

But now Eren knew he could never forget again. Not the longing. Not the guilt. Not the feeling of bones breaking, the smell of fresh blood, or the bursting of flesh between his fingers.

“Then kill her,” Zeke said casually like the words didn’t mean a single thing.

No. Eren would never forget again.

He’d never forget how it felt when he, the attack titan, crushed you in his hands and discarded your lifeless body against the battered streets of Liberio...

[THE END]

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ POV: Jimin

Jimin learns that his boyfriend played a role in his recent attack and he decides to get revenge. 

Or, the one where Jimin attempts to kill a man, but needs to call for help, and 2seok arrive to take care of more than just a dead body.

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

❗ THIS IS A CHARACTER POV CHAPTER!!!

if you do not wish to perceive any POV that is not the main character, please feel free to skip this one!

🗡️Jimin x his ex, Jimin x Seokjin x Hoseok

🗡️ word count: 9.7k

🗡️ mafia au, complicated relationships, graphic violence, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit, 21+

🗡️ warnings: power bottom Jimin with ex; bottom/sub Jimin & top/dom Seokjin with allusions to top/dom Hoseok. drugging someone using cocaine laced with pharmaceuticals with the intention of killing them; use of anal plug; anal sex; restraining someone against their will; sex pivots from consensual to dubious; cocaine use; murder; being cradled in the bosom of one friend while the other suffocates his dying boyfriend with a pillow; bdsm dynamics; wearing a collar; sounding - use of sounding rod; safewords; subspace; allusions to blowjob & anal fingering with the promise of sex.

🗡️ notes: mc is referred to in 3rd person (she/her) pronouns for this chapter! i don't have Jimin's relationship tagged in the overall fic because this is the first and last time we know him by name and it feels insignificant. this chapter is a bit brutal at times. heed the warnings.

🗡️ early draft beta read by @blog-name-idk - but it has undergone some pretty big non-beta’d edits

🗡️ posted feb. 2024 - originally nov. 2022 | read on ao3

Jimin stares at his reflection in the vanity mirror. He has recently colored his hair a nice medium brown, and his gaze traces the waves that perfectly rest over his forehead, marveling at a job well done. 

Beauty is a weapon that Jimin hones and uses expertly, and this new look of his is simply an act of sharpening his blade.

R&B music plays constantly through speakers placed in every corner of the room, setting the mood while Jimin slowly and delicately applies a dusting of pink eyeshadow, highlighting with white below the brows, and finishing with soft black lines along his lids that peak in a faint cat eye at the ends. Then he applies mascara and dots gemstones along his brows and beneath his eyes.

His right eye is still bruised with deep blues and purples surrounding the socket, but the swelling has gone down, and Jimin rather likes how dramatic it looks dusted in shimmery pink. 

To complete the look, Jimin applies a light pink gloss to his lips, then gently blots on a deep red eyeshadow just to the scabbed-over slit on the right side that has been healing nicely. The injury stands out, and one would never know a touch of powder has been added to accentuate it. 

"Perfect," Jimin says with a grin as he sits back in his chair in only his briefs and takes in his reflection. 

Jimin promised Yoongi he would lay low because it was the only way he figured he would have the freedom to return as quickly as possible and enact his revenge without the others worrying too much about him. The moment he left the mansion, he drove straight to his suite at Paradise. He feels guilty for lying, but lying is one of the few privileges Jimin has always had, and at times it comes as second nature to him.

Taehyung had let it slip that Jimin's soon-to-be ex-boyfriend is associated with the man who attacked him. While the family men were beating information out of the man, he name-dropped Jiyong and mentioned he is one of Ryujin's men who had been sent to spy on the family. 

Jimin hates that he was not a bit surprised to hear the rumor. He had been having suspicions for several weeks that Jiyong may have been up to something, and he has recently been keeping him at arm's length and not inviting him to any of the mansions. Since keeping Jiyong away from the property, his attitude has begun to take a turn, and he has been unpredictable and moody, which Jimin now attributes to him being unable to complete his mission. 

So, naturally, Jimin has decided the only thing left to do is corner the man, apply a little pressure, and force him to speak, all while slowly killing him. And what better place to do so than in the comfort of his suite at Paradise, where no one will dare interfere with his actions? 

His usual guard, who is already stationed outside his room, has been informed to ignore any screaming he may hear—aside from a safeword that Jimin has chosen, of course. The room is bugged for his safety, and Jimin tries not to imagine all the things his trusty guard has heard over the years. After all, that is how he was saved from the beating that could have ended up being a lot worse.

Jimin steps back from the vanity and gives himself one more glance before sliding down from his tall makeup chair and walking to his closet. The room is nearly the size of his suite, with rows of clothing, costumes, bondage gear, jewelry, footwear, and other accessories. He walks to the first rack, which is lined with robes and lingerie, and he grabs a mesh black knee-length, long-sleeve robe with feathers lining the hems. 

Beneath the robe, all Jimin wears is tight pink briefs, and he ties the black cord around his waist loose enough to allow plenty of skin to stay exposed, showcasing several semi-faded bruises on his chest and neck. Jimin considers painting over those with a little makeup as well, but a light knock on his suite door indicates that his time to prepare has come to an end. 

"One moment, jagi!" Jimin calls from the closet. 

He smooths his hands down the soft mesh of his garment and pulls his lips into a sweet, practiced smile. All the world is a stage, and Jimin is ready to put on a final performance for Jiyong. 

With one last glance around the suite, Jimin confirms that everything is in place, and he turns off the closet light and walks to the door. The room is simple, with a large bed in the corner and shelves of sex toys between the bed and the closet door. There is a tiny kitchenette between the closet and the en suite bathroom, where Jimin can prepare something small to eat, but he only uses the space to store alcohol and the occasional snack. 

There used to be a small dining table and chairs, but after the attack, Jimin had all superfluous furniture removed, leaving only the bed, makeup chair, and vanity. He had come too close to getting the back of his head bashed into the corner of the hardwood of the table, and he does not want to take the chance again. 

The lighting is dim, with pink and purple lights giving the room a bit of a romantic glow. On the bed are black satin sheets with wrist restraints tucked just below the pillows for bondage play. 

Jimin loves being restrained and made helpless during sex. There is something he finds so addicting about handing over all control and being used as his partner pleases. Of course, bondage play is reserved only for people who Jimin trusts. Even so, the restraints he ordinarily uses have a safety mechanism to allow him to break out of them easily, should he need to. 

The restraints currently nestled under Jimin's pillow have no such mechanism. 

When Jimin opens the door wide and takes in the sight before him, his smile nearly falters. Jiyong's hair is black, short, and messy—framing his handsome face nicely—like he rolled out of bed moments before arriving. He wears a simple white tee tucked into blue jeans, and Jimin wonders how it would look with bright, deep crimson red spreading over the thin, white fabric. 

"Hey, baby boy," Jiyong says as he eyes Jimin's attire with a smirk. "When you said you wanted to speak in private I didn't realize you meant you wanted to fuck. I would have put a little more effort into my appearance."

Jimin takes a step forward and rubs his hands over Jiyong's chest. He can feel his heart beating gently behind his ribs, and he tilts his head slightly down to capture Jiyong's lips in a chaste but sweet kiss. 

"I had plans to just talk," Jimin mutters against Jiyong's lips. "But then I thought about how long it's been since we've had some time for just ourselves and I couldn't resist changing into something more enticing."

"Enticing?" Jiyong responds with a grin. "You're absolutely breathtaking, baby." 

Jimin doesn't miss the way Jiyong's gaze lingers on his bruised eye and split lip as he grips onto his shirt and backs into the suite. He glances over Jiyong's head, making eye contact with the guard who stands with his arms crossed in the hall, just opposite his door. The guard nods once, and Jimin tugs Jiyong over the threshold and closes the door, which locks behind them. 

"Let me fix us a drink, okay?" Jimin suggests, and Jiyong nods as he eagerly reaches for the black cord around Jimin's waist that holds his robe closed. Jimin swats at his hands and giggles as he backs away. 

"Have a seat," Jimin says as he nods to the bed.

Jiyong does as instructed and sits on the edge of the bed. He rubs his hands over the dark sheets and keeps his eyes fixed on Jimin, who saunters over to the kitchenette while keeping his attention partially on Jiyong as best as he can. 

Jimin pulls two short, round glasses from a small drying rack on the counter and grabs a decanter of whiskey that Yoongi gifted him, pulling the intricately designed triangle crystal top off with an inviting pop as the rubber stopper comes loose from the opening. He pours them both a finger of whiskey and puts the decanter top back on, pushing it nice and firm to create an air-tight seal. 

"Whoa," Jiyong calls from the bed, "using the special occasion whiskey?"

Jimin hums and turns to Jiyong with a smile. "That's right. Jeonggukie also gave me some new product that I would like you to try. I had a sniff shortly before you got here, and I feel incredible."

"Damn, starting without me?" Jiyong chides. 

On a small mirror, Jimin has racked up a nice thick line of cocaine, triazolam, and codeine. He brings it over to the bed with an already rolled-up note and hands it to Jiyong, then turns back to the kitchenette for the glasses of whiskey. Jiyong wastes no time snorting the concoction. 

First, there's a hiss, then a gasp. Jimin turns to Jiyong with wide, worried eyes, and much to his pleasure, he watches as his darling boyfriend struggles to hold his composure. Snorting the medications could not have felt good, Jimin thinks to himself. Probably it burns his cocaine-raw skin like crazy.

"Everything alright?" Jimin asks sweetly.

"Fuck's in this?"

Jimin chuckles, adding a lilt of playfulness at the end. "Cocaine, silly."

Jiyong taps on his nostril with the knuckle of his bent index finger and sniffs several times. "Smells off. You said this was new?"

"Just came in last night."

"And you had some?"

Jimin hums and hands Jiyong his whiskey. "I did," he lies with a soft smile.

The line Jimin racked up was pretty thick, even for an avid user such as Jiyong, and he smiles as he grabs the empty mirror from the bed and sets it onto a nearby nightstand. It is astounding, really, how someone who snorts so much cocaine does not immediately find something off about the powder and refuse to snort it. 

None of the family men would have been that stupid. But, then again, none of them do drugs outside of what Jeongguk supplies.  

Jiyong swirls his whiskey and gives it a smell, then sips it slowly, and Jimin holds back laughter at his newfound paranoia. Originally, he had planned on mixing the pills in his whiskey, but after some trial runs, the powder of the crushed-up medication was always detectable, either visually or by taste. 

"Alright," Jiyong says as he adjusts his posture, sitting up and rolling his shoulders. He winces as he sniffles loudly. "What's the special occasion?"

Jimin holds his drink out toward Jiyong, which Jiyong taps his glass gently against, and as Jimin shoots back the bittersweet liquid, Jiyong follows suit and does the same. 

"Get on the bed, jagi," Jimin says. "I want to give you my good news with your cock buried deep in my ass."

Jiyong coughs, seemingly shocked by Jimin's words, and Jimin laughs as he leans to give him a weak pat on the back. As Jiyong bends forward and attempts to catch his breath, Jimin peels the empty glass from his fingers and sets both glasses beside the mirror on the nightstand. Also on the small, black table is his silver vial of unlaced cocaine.

Perhaps it is selfish, Jimin thinks, but despite his overwhelming desire to dig his claws into Jiyong and kill him with his own two hands, he wants to fuck him one last time. He even went through the trouble of prepping himself, just in case the pills kick in too quickly.

Jiyong stands from the bed and stumbles forward a step before correcting himself, and Jimin watches as panic flashes over his face while he begins to undress. He leaves his clothing in a heap beside the bed and sits naked on the mattress, cock half-hard and looking heavy between his legs. 

"Lay down, jagi," Jimin instructs, and Jiyong smirks as he scoots back on the black silk, then rotates himself to lay with his head on the center pillow. 

Jimin bites his lip and swishes his hips to the soft R&B that plays overhead as he rubs his hands down over his pecs and tummy, then back up, feeling the soft black fabric of his mesh robe. Jiyong watches intently, following the movement of Jimin's hands, and Jimin approaches and bends slightly at the hips as he sticks his hands under the robe to gather the hem of his briefs and pull them down. 

"Gonna keep the robe on?" Jiyong asks with a grin.

Jimin nods, feeling rather femme fatale, and saunters over to the bed, wasting no time to climb on top and straddle his boyfriend's hips one last time. 

"I prepped myself," he says sweetly, giggling as Jiyong's eyes go wide, and he reaches behind Jimin to feel for himself. 

A small burst of pleasure shivers through Jimin when Jiyong's fingers touch the end of the metal anal plug, and he lets out an exaggerated moan and throws his head back. Jiyong tugs on the toy a few times, then slowly begins to pull it out, sparking Jimin to let out a genuine moan as he falls forward into Jiyong's chest. 

"So eager you prepped yourself," Jiyong teases as he tosses the plug aside and presses two long fingers into Jimin's stretched-out hole, forcing a sob to fall from between his lips. 

"Need you now," Jimin moans, rolling his hips and fucking himself onto Jiyong's fingers. 

Jiyong reaches beneath Jimin with his other hand and grabs his cock. He presses against Jimin's hole, in which his fingers are still buried, and Jimin trembles and slaps Jiyong on the chest. 

"One or the other," he complains, feeling horny and impatient. 

Jiyong pulls his fingers out and gives Jimin's ass a light slap, groaning, "Alright, alright." 

As soon as Jiyong presses his cock head into Jimin's ass, Jimin takes over and sits up, rocking his hips gently despite the overwhelming stretch. Jiyong slides his hands over Jimin's ass, grips him with intention, but then drops his arms to his sides. A light sigh leaves Jiyong, and Jimin opens his eyes to find him staring at the ceiling, looking spaced out. 

"What's the matter, Ji?" Jimin purrs as he picks up his pace, rolling his hips up and crashing them down.

Grunts and groans come from Jiyong, and he blinks several times. Finally, he mutters, "What was in that cocaine?"

Jimin slows his hips to a languid pace and grabs both of Jiyong's hands. He pulls both hands above his head and leans forward, leaving a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. 

"What do you mean?" Jimin asks sheepishly.

"I feel...fuck. Tired."

Jimin hums, reaches above Jiyong's hand to tug on a thick black strap that runs from the bed frame, to just under his pillow, and pulls out a black leather wrist cuff. Jiyong does not enjoy being restrained, so Jimin works fast to secure the cuff, which locks in place with a velcro strap that wraps around the entire wrist. 

"What—" Jiyong yanks at his restraint and attempts to claw at the velcro with his other hand. "Jimin, this isn't funny."

Jimin, who continues to slowly fuck himself on Jiyong's cock, fishes out the second restraint and wrestles it onto his wrist. Jiyong grunts in a feeble attempt to beg Jimin to free him, but he doesn't seem to have a lot of strength left in him, and the words die on his tongue. Jimin giggles as he tightens the velcro, then he sits back up and bounces his hips high, slamming them down hard, hoping to cum fast before he loses him completely. 

"Triazolam and codeine," Jimin moans as he throws his head back.

"Wh—"

"The cocaine," Jimin groans as he makes eye contact with a very heavy-lidded Jiyong. "I laced it with triazolam and codeine."

Jiyong rocks his hips as if in a panic, possibly attempting to shake Jimin off, but it does him no good. Jimin is close anyway, and he snakes one hand into his robe to squeeze at his leaking cock head, hissing from the burst of pleasure that the contact brings. 

"Don't you want to make me cum, baby?" Jimin asks, moaning through each word as his high increases.

Jiyong stammers, "Of c-course."

"It's a shame I'll never cum on this cock again," Jimin whines as he rubs the dribbled streak of precum down his shaft. 

"Jimin," Jiyong mutters, "what are you doing?"

Jimin feels so close. He picks up his pace, squeezes his eyes shut, and sobs out as his orgasm rocks through him. He catches all of his release in his hand and leans his weight on his other hand, which presses into Jiyong's chest. 

Despite bringing himself quickly to orgasm, everything feels lackluster, and Jimin sighs as he lifts his hips and drops Jiyong's still-hard cock out of him.

Originally, he wanted to blacken Jiyong's eye and split his lip as the other man had done to him, but now that Jimin comes down from his high, he just feels disappointed. He feels sad. 

"Was this relationship a sham from the start or did Shin recently buy you?"

Horror widens Jiyong's heavy eyes. "Ji-Jimin, p-please."

"Answer me!" Jimin shrieks, balling his fist as his cum runs down his wrist. 

"I'm sorry, Jimin," Jiyong mutters. "Please f-forgive me."

"Forgive you for what, exactly?"

Jimin dismounts Jiyong and gets off the bed. He picks up his pink briefs and wipes his hand off with it, then grabs his silver vial of cocaine from the nightstand, unscrews the top, and brings the attached tiny metal spoon to his nose. 

"I w-was just supposed to sp-spy on the family," Jiyong mutters pathetically.

Jimin sniffs back the drug, dips the spoon in once more, and sniffs a second small pile into the other nostril. Then he screws the top back onto the vial and holds it tight in his fist as Jiyong continues.

"I wasn't...su-supposed to f-fall in love."

Anger and bile rise up Jimin's throat, and he turns to Jiyong with a frown. "Don't you fucking dare!"

"I d-do love you," Jiyong whines, and Jimin's fist trembles. He wants to punch Jiyong until his face is unrecognizable. But he doesn't want to fuck up his hands; Jimin needs his hands. 

"You love me? Which is why you sent someone to beat me up? Weird fucking way to show your love, Ji!"

Jiyong squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. A tear falls down the side of his face, the sight of which just adds to Jimin's fury.

"I didn't k-know—he wasn't supposed to do th..." Jiyong trails off, face falling to the side.

Jimin approaches and slaps Jiyong several times on the cheek. Jiyong startles and opens his eyes wide and pleadingly. 

"Baby," Jiyong whines.

"If you confess to me what happened I will unrestrain you, force you to vomit the pills, and we can part ways and call this done," Jimin lies. "Otherwise, you are going to die."

Jiyong's eyes open wide, and he swallows hard. "I was Sh-Shin's man from the start. But I stopped giving her inf-information. That's why she sent that guy, who—who—. He was supposed to rough up me. Not you. I'm sor-sorry."

"Ryujin sent you to spy on us, and then you got too close and betrayed her? So she sent a man to set you straight and he attacked me instead? Is that what happened?"

Jiyong nods frantically, eyes threatening to roll to the back of his head. "P-please, you can't leave me here to die. Someone will f-find out."

"People overdose in these rooms every week, jagi. Nobody will ask questions when Yoongi's men are the ones handing your body over to the morgue."

A weak, garbled sob comes from Jiyong, who attempts to scratch at his restraints. He kicks his feet out, but it is clear that his limbs are too heavy to move very well, and he gives up, curling on himself as best as he can as he cries. 

And Jimin, who thought he had everything under control, sobs before he can stop himself. In the six months that he and Jiyong have been spending time together, he has managed to catch feelings. 

They were compatible. They fit together nicely. And it was all a lie, doomed from the start because he was sent by the enemy and chose to keep that a secret even as they got close. 

The worst part is that if Jiyong had been honest with him about betraying Ryujin, they could have tried to make it work. It would have been an uphill battle, but he would have done his best to trust him.

Jimin turns away from the bed in time for tears to fall in heavy streams down his face. He can't do this. He can't follow through with the murder. He needs help. 

On the vanity counter sits Jimin's phone, and he walks over and picks it up in shaky hands, dialing Yoongi's number. Yoongi answers after one ring.

"Hello?"

"Hyung," Jimin sobs, voice squeaking. "Please don't be mad at me."

"Jiminah," Yoongi responds firmly. "I could never be mad at you. Tell me what is happening. What do you need?"

"I c-came to Paradise," Jimin hiccups. "I brought Jiyong and I drugged him but I can't finish him. I need help, hyung."

Yoongi chuckles. It is soft and bright, and it takes Jimin by surprise. He can't help but smile slightly from the sound.

"Jiminah, what did I tell you about trying to do everything by yourself?"

"I know," Jimin whines, feeling pathetic. "I'm sorry."

"Seokjin and Hoseok are at House of Cards. I can send them over now, or I can come to you in the next thirty or so minutes."

"S-Seokjin-hyung is fine."

"Don't cry, okay, Jiminie? Your hyungs will take care of it."

"Th-thank you, hyung."

The line goes dead, and Jimin lowers his phone from his ear. There was a part of him that feared Yoongi would be disappointed in him for going against his wishes of laying low. But he should know by now that Yoongi could never be disappointed in him. He has said as much many times, and he has never shown signs of faltering. 

Jimin takes a fortifying breath and holds it in his lungs before breathing it out slowly. His phone vibrates in his hand, and he lifts it to find a notification from Seokjin that says, "Be there in 5." 

Hyungs will take care of everything, Jimin reminds himself. They always do. 

The room is still and silent, and Jimin glances at the man on his bed—naked and breathing deeply, fast asleep. Jimin wasn't sure how much it would take to force an overdose, and his original plan was to smother him in the event that the pills were not enough. But now that he faces the need to finish the task, his arms feel shaky and weak. 

Jimin is not a killer. He may be family to a pack of ruthless men, but Jimin cannot bring himself to kill someone. 

With one more deep exhale, Jimin returns to his closet and grabs the clothes he came dressed in—a black long-sleeve velvet button-up and lace-front leather pants. 

The intention was to go to the club and find someone to fuck away his frustration with, but now as he slides on the thick leather pants, he does not feel like doing much of anything. He even considers finding something else to wear since it will be Seokjin and Hoseok taking him home, but he doesn't have the strength to choose a new outfit. Maybe his hyungs will consider his outfit amusing. 

Jimin manages to loosely tuck his shirt into the front of his pants before there are three firm knocks on the door. Seokjin always knocks thrice. Jimin smiles weakly to himself and shuts off the light in his closet, then makes his way to the door, keeping his eyes off Jiyong. 

When Jimin swings the door open, Seokjin immediately lifts his hands to Jimin's chin and bends to place a soft kiss on his bottom lip. Jimin gasps and immediately relaxes into the touch, and Seokjin places a second peck on his nose before standing straight and peering over his head. It has been years since Seokjin kissed him, and Jimin stands in a bit of a daze.

"I have always wondered what his cock looks like," Seokjin muses.

Jimin backhands him on the chest with a chuckle, coming back to earth as he shouts, "Hyung!"

"Tell us what you need," Hoseok says softly as his head appears from the side of Seokjin's broad shoulder. 

Jimin takes a step back and allows both men into the room, and as Seokjin walks past Jimin toward the bed, Hoseok closes the door softly and approaches Jimin, gently taking his chin in his hands just as Seokjin had. 

"Baby, your new hair color is stunning," Hoseok says sweetly, eyes sparkling. "You look so much younger."

Jimin sniffles and smiles, feeling tear streaks staining his cheeks. "I look younger because I've cried my makeup off like a child."

Hoseok chuckles and pulls Jimin into a firm hug, engulfing his head and shoulder with his arms. He smells like a freshly picked bouquet, and Jimin wraps his arms around Hoseok, sinking into the feeling; Hoseok has never hugged Jimin like this before. 

Then, Jimin hears it: a muffled voice groaning and struggling from behind him. Hoseok holds Jimin even closer.

"It'll be over in a second, baby, don't worry," Hoseok mutters against Jimin's head, and Jimin nods feebly and lets out a deep breath that he had been holding.

For years, Seokjin and Hoseok have called Jimin baby, and for years, Jimin thought it was condescending at best. But like this, tightly wound in Hoseok's arms, the name brings him comfort. Perhaps, he thinks, he had it all wrong. 

"Did he manage to confess?" Seokjin asks, and Hoseok slowly lowers his arms from around Jimin. 

Jimin is not sure what he expects to see when he turns around, but he is thankful to find that Seokjin has completely covered Jiyong with the black silk sheet. Seokjin glances around the room and begins to collect Jimin's things, grabbing his vial of cocaine and his cell phone and shoving them into his pockets.

"He said Ryujin sent him to spy on us and that he ended up fall—" Jimin stops himself, then sighs and nibbles on the inside of his lip. "When we started dating he began to lose sight of the mission. Apparently, the guy who roughed me up was actually sent here for him. Or so he claimed. I don't know. I don't fucking care anymore."

Hoseok wraps his arms around Jimin's shoulders, pulling him into a tight back-hug while Seokjin washes the whiskey glasses and mirror that had been left on the nightstand. 

"Oh, baby, you clearly do care," Hoseok says as he rests his head against Jimin's shoulder and nuzzles his nose below his ear. "And that's okay. We can help you forget."

"Forget, how?" Jimin asks, watching as Seokjin tidies up the makeup that was left on the vanity, then gathers the clothing that had been piled on the floor. 

Seokjin turns to Jimin and quickly raises his eyebrows a few times. "Any way you'd like, pretty bird. What's your poison, these days?"

What Jimin really wants is to be tied up and fucked senseless until he forgets the way Jiyong's cock felt inside him—until he forgets his own name. But he doesn't know how to ask for that, even if it happens to be something that he assumes is on the table. 

Luckily, Jimin doesn't have to ask because these two can read him like a book. Reading people is one of their many shared gifts.

"Let's get you home and take good care of you, hmm?" Hoseok suggests.

Seokjin smiles and sends him a wink. It all seems innocuous enough, but Jimin can hear it in their voices—can see it in their eyes.

Jimin nods and lets himself smile. "Okay."

On their way out of the club, Jeongguk and Taehyung show up to take care of Jiyong's body. They say Yoongi sent them, and they both give Jimin a warm hug, which is a strange thing to receive from either of them, much less both.

The ride to Seokjin and Hoseok's house is short; Jimin disassociates from the moment they get into the car, with only the sound of the large metal gate at the end of the drive pulling him from his daze. A sedan sits parked in front of the garage, so Hoseok pulls up behind it and gets out. Before Jimin can reach for the handle, his door is pulled wide open, and Yoongi stands before him with his arms outstretched.

"Hyung," Jimin mutters. He pauses before exiting, then steps out of the vehicle and into Yoongi's embrace.

"I'm so sorry for all you have been put through, Jiminah," Yoongi says against the side of Jimin's head. 

Jimin sighs and wraps his arms around Yoongi. Although he is grateful for so much care, he feels embarrassed by all the attention. The youngest two hugging him earlier was the final straw. 

"It's fine," Jimin grumbles.

Yoongi backs from the hug but takes Jimin firmly by the shoulders with both hands. "It is not fine," he says, looking Jimin sternly in the eye. "I know you had feelings for him. And I know you are a softie who hates to kill. But you are not alone. Please do not ever feel like you have to do anything alone."

"I was afraid to ask because you wanted me to lay low, and I went against your word," Jimin confesses. 

"Jiminah," Yoongi whines, knitting his eyebrow in frustration. "You know that no matter what, I will never be upset with you. I told you to lay low for your protection, but you are not a child. I trust you to do what you think needs to be done. Just please do not do everything by yourself. We are a family for a reason, and I am here for you, no matter what."

Jimin wiggles out of Yoongi's grasp and mutters, "Yes, hyung," as he attempts to follow Seokjin and Hoseok into their house, but Yoongi stops Jimin, grabbing his hand and giving him a gentle tug.

"One more thing," Yoongi mutters as Jimin turns to face him. Yoongi looks tired, like he hasn't slept since the last time Jimin saw him, and he wears a black tee with no button-up, which is concerning. Even in his own home, it is rare to find Yoongi dressed down in the middle of the day. 

"What is it, boss?" 

Yoongi sighs and nibbles on the inside of his mouth, crossing his arms over his chest. "Our darling knows you were the queen."

Anxiety drops to the pit of Jimin's stomach. "How—"

"She had a dream about the night she killed Seungri, and it was hard to hold back the fact that we knew all about the incident. She wanted to know how much we knew, so Namjoon and I took her to dinner and did our best to explain the events that led to that night. It...did not go very well."

"Oh."

"I do not think she is angry with you, but it is hard to say. But just be mindful of that, next time you see her. Maybe you two should have a conversation. I did not tell her much about your involvement; after a certain point she no longer wanted to listen."

Jimin swallows a lump and nods. Every inch of him tingles with anxiety, and he hates the idea of having to look her in the eye, knowing that she knows. He had planned to tell her eventually, but he was banking on not having to for a while longer—at least, not until he got to know her a little better. Curse Yoongi and his moments of kindness.

"Understood," Jimin mutters sullenly. 

Yoongi wraps his arms around Jimin once more and gives him a kiss on the cheek, which causes Jimin to grimace and attempt to wiggle away. 

"Everyone is so loving today," Jimin whines.

With a chuckle, Yoongi drops his arms from around Jimin. "The youngest two act like grumpy old men, so I have always kind of viewed you as our baby."

"Great," Jimin mutters as he rolls his eyes, though the thought of being the baby of the group does delight him quite a bit. Of course, he can never let them know that. "I'll lay low for real, this time. If dove needs space, then I can wait but if it seems like she wants to talk, let me know, and I can come right over."

Yoongi nods, flashes half a smile, and turns toward the path that connects his mansion with Seokjin's. With a final, fortifying breath, Jimin faces the house to find Seokjin standing in the doorway. His arms are crossed over his chest, but his body language is otherwise relaxed and patient—head leaning to the side against the door frame with one ankle crossed over the other. It feels oddly domestic to approach the man waiting for him in such a fashion, and Jimin hesitates before he takes a step forward. 

When they were younger, back when Seokjin joined the group and was getting trained to be a family man, Jimin was the only one not sleeping with anyone within the group, to his estimation. Taehyung and Jeongguk never came out and said anything at the time, but there was an abrupt shift in their demeanors one day—a playfulness that Jeongguk rarely displayed with anyone else—that led Jimin to believe that something had been going on. 

Seokjin quickly broke down Jimin's walls and his inclination toward avoiding platonic sex, and they spent a good two months exploring new depths of pleasure and pain, and waking up in each other's arms. And then Hoseok joined the team, and slowly, Seokjin began to replace his time with Jimin with his time with Hoseok. 

At first, Jimin felt salty about it, but as he got to know Hoseok, he understood their bond. Not only do they come from affluent families, but they are both sadistic little freaks with a bloodlust, and a penchant for manipulation. Perfect for one another.

Over the years, there has been an open invitation for Jimin to join them in bed. And over the years, Jimin has nearly caved many times. But fucking one's friends is oftentimes messy, and Jimin has always worried about being the cause of some rift between bonds of irreplaceable men, potentially making Yoongi's life more difficult. 

Not to mention, being his own top whore at Paradise has afforded him the ability to use others as a means to sexual needs and escape. So he has stayed out of their relationship.

But there has always been an inkling at the back of Jimin's mind—not only to see how Seokjin has changed over the years, but to discover what Hoseok is into, as well. Jimin has done well to keep his distance and stave off his curiosity, but today he is feeling rather vulnerable. Today he wants to experience subspace—something only Seokjin has ever helped him to accomplish.

As Jimin approaches the house and walks up the three concrete steps to the landing, Seokjin straightens his posture and holds out his arm. 

"Hoseokie is fixing up a quick stew. Would you like me to draw you a bath, or would you like to stay as you are?"

Jimin considers it. A bath does sound nice, but he would rather not be alone with his thoughts right now. "I'll stay as I am."

"Wonderful," Seokjin responds as he lets his door fall closed behind them and secures two deadbolts. The smell of something hearty and rich hits Jimin's nose, making him suddenly aware of how hungry he is. Jimin toes out of his shoes and kicks them near the neatly stacked rows of shoes and boots, and Seokjin does the same with a giggle—as if he knows Hoseok will be displeased with his carelessness, and he finds it delightful.

Jimin leans into Seokjin's hold as they make their way through the living room to the kitchen. Most of the houses on the compound are the same. Open concept foyer, living room, and kitchen with spare rooms on the first level and stairs that lead up to bedrooms and bathrooms on both floors. Each house has more rooms than its occupant—or occupants—have a need for, so many of the homes have guest rooms, offices, gyms, libraries, and so on. 

Seokjin and Hoseok have tailored several guest rooms to be sexual fantasy havens, decorated a certain way, and stocked with outfits and toys to suit that particular brand of fantasy. Hoseok is rather proud of his dollhouse room and has shown off pictures of pink walls and lavish furniture that appear as if the room had come straight out of a barbie dream house. Seokjin, on the other hand, brags most about his puppy playhouse, stocked full of harnesses and leashes, with various cages throughout.

It occurs to Jimin, as he is led to the kitchen, that he has not been back to this house since Hoseok moved in and began to decorate. There is a certain quality to the furnishings that gives the home a baroque feel—intricately hand-carved wood, gold leaf accents, and velvet upholstery. Count Dracula himself could have assisted with the interior design. Jimin smiles as he cranes his neck to see the various paintings and sconces on high, wainscotted walls.

In the dining area is a wooden table—as intricately hand-carved as everything else they own—that seats eight beside a wall of glass which overlooks a surprisingly minimalist garden. In the distance, Taehyung's mansion can be seen sticking out from a wall of tall shrubs and columnar trees. Just past the dining area, Hoseok is busy in a surprisingly modernly furnished kitchen with black marble counters and black steel appliances, dancing to a tune he hums while stirring a pot. 

"Have a seat!" Hoseok calls over his shoulder, and Seokjin guides Jimin to the chair at the head of the table, muttering, "Guest of honor." 

Jimin rounds the table and sits, then places his hands on the top of the hardwood and stares down at the mauve ceramic bowl and matte bronze utensils. He feels anxious and does his best to breathe deeply—in through his nose, pushing his belly out while keeping his shoulders down, and out through his mouth—to keep the swirl of panic that fights inside him at bay. Meanwhile, Seokjin is in the kitchen, presumably helping Hoseok while Jimin waits.

"Wine or soju, baby?" Hoseok asks.

"Or whiskey?" Seokjin suggests. 

Jimin turns his head, glancing from the corner of his eye to find Seokjin leaning against the marble counter with his black sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His dark hair is pushed off his forehead today, and he looks absolutely stunning—but, then again, Seokjin always looks stunning.

"Soju is fine," Jimin responds with a soft smile, and watches as Seokjin straightens his posture and makes his way to the fridge. Then, Hoseok spins with a large, steaming pot in mauve oven-mitt-covered hands, and Jimin's eyes follow as he rounds their large marble island and brings the pot to the table. 

Hoseok's wavy dark hair falls over his forehead, and after the pot is plopped onto a cloth pad in front of Jimin, Hoseok turns to him and winks, then straightens and makes his way back into the kitchen. Jimin stares ahead at the wafting steam as Seokjin and Hoseok come back and forth, bringing soju and side dishes before settling down.

"You happened to need comfort on a day that I was already planning to make short rib stew," Hoseok says cheerily. "I had everything prepped and simmering since this morning."

Seokjin serves Jimin a bowl while Hoseok fills everyone's glasses, and they dig in. The stew is hearty and does not pack too much spice or overwhelming flavor, which is exactly what Jimin's anxious stomach needs, and he feels grateful for his family men. 

Dinner comes and goes in a bit of a daze. The food is delicious, but Jimin's appetite is not what it normally is, so he slurps and chews slowly while Seokjin and Hoseok hold conversation around him. It is nice, Jimin thinks, to be present without having to contribute much. He is not sure he is really in the mood to talk, but he enjoys hearing the back and forth of his hosts, even if he struggles to catch exactly what they are discussing. 

After their meal, Seokjin clears the table while Hoseok fills their glasses with more soju. Jimin feels satisfied but not too full, and all the soju has helped relax him enough that the anxiety is at bay. Perhaps Seokjin and Hoseok being present has helped in that sense, too. Jimin is not entirely sure. 

"What would you like, baby?" Hoseok asks. "We could relax in front of the television...or we could head upstairs and take your mind off everything in other ways."

Jimin is pulled from his thoughts—most of which are just spaced out staring into nothing—and blinks at Hoseok, who sits to his right with his chin cradled in his palm.

Hoseok continues, "We could relax in front of the television...or we could head upstairs and take your mind off everything in other ways."

"I'm not sure," Jimin admits. "But I could use a distraction...more than what the television might offer. What did the two of you have in mind?"

Hoseok grins, then bites his lip, humming and cocking his head as if in thought. "I've wanted to have you in our home for so long, I feel too overwhelmed with possibility to choose."

Warmth floods Jimin's neck and cheeks, and he flits his tongue out to wet his lips, watching as Hoseok's eyes follow the movement. "Same," he mutters softly, suddenly feeling shy.

"Well," Seokjin offers as he returns to the table and drapes himself over Hoseok's shoulders, "we could tie you up, whip you, and all that usual stuff. Or, we can take you into one of the doll rooms and dress you up like our pretty little princess, then punish you until you cry."

"Or, we can also go easy on him," Hoseok chides as he turns to look at Seokjin with a playful smile.

Seokjin shakes his head and, staring into Jimin's eyes, says, "Baby doesn't want us to go easy. Does he?"

"No," Jimin responds with a delicate shake of his head, still in disbelief that his conversation is happening. "I want to lose myself."

"What a delight to know some things never change," Soekjin says.

Jimin does not miss the way Hoseok's face lights up with delight. The wide, toothy grin sends a shiver down Jimin's spine, and he has to look away, gaze falling to the cup of soju before him. He picks it up and takes a gulp of the cool, bittersweet liquid, then sets it down. 

"I know just the thing," Seokjin says as he stands up straight and holds his hand out to Jimin. 

Jimin scoots his chair back from the table and stands, then takes Seokjin's hand. A gasp escapes him as Seokjin tugs him close, forcing him to stumble into his chest. 

"Come this way, baby."

"Okay," Jimin mutters softly.

Hoseok stands and peers over Seokjin's shoulder. "Okay is an improper response for your hosts. What do you say to us, baby?"

Jimin knows this game—has played it many times with Seokjin before, and is absolutely unsurprised that Hoseok prefers the same. 

"Yes, sir," he tries and is rewarded with another devious grin and a nod of Hoseok's head. 

Jimin is led through the dining area, back through the living room, to a set of stairs beside the entrance, and then up. The master bedroom in these homes is a door at the end of the hall—a large room that takes up most of the second floor, but Jimin knows that he is not being taken there. Seokjin leads him to a large wooden door on the right.

As they approach, Hoseok takes the lead and keys in a passcode, which unlocks the door. When Hoseok walks in, dim lights flick on automatically, revealing a room with large, comfortable couches and chairs, a bed, and shelves upon shelves of sex toys—from impact toys to dildos and plugs, and more. 

Everything is black and dark red, with bursts of yellow and red light glowing from beneath and behind furniture and stationary devices, with no lighting overhead. Hoseok walks to a large black sofa in the center of the room and sits on one of the far ends with his arm outstretched over the back. 

"Go to Seokie, baby," Seokjin instructs, and Jimin mutters, "Yes sir," as he releases Seokjin's hand and makes his way to the couch, slotting himself beside Hoseok's open arm. 

"Jinnie, bear, what did you have in mind for us, today?" Hoseok asks, craning his neck to follow Seokjin's movements through the room. 

Seokjin stands before a large, dark armoire with a door swung open on the left side. Hanging from hooks on the inside of the door are various small toys, and Jimin immediately recognizes what Seokjin is reaching for because this is something they used to do together all those years ago. 

Jimin shifts on the couch, feeling a wave of apprehension return as he watches Seokjin take a small silicon rod and begin to wipe it clean with a cleansing pad. Seokjin has always been meticulous with cleanliness and sterilization after play, but he always gives his toys and tools an additional swipe with a gentle cleanser before use. 

With the door to the armoire wide open, Seokjin turns to the couch and raises an eyebrow at Jimin—a silent question. 

Jimin nods, whispers, "Yes, sir," and swallows thickly while Hoseok's fingers dance over Jimin's shoulder, sending a tingle of comfort through him. 

"Want to wear a collar for us, baby?" Hoseok offers.

Jimin does want to wear a collar, and he turns with wide, eager eyes and nods. "Yes, sir."

"We bought one just for you," Hoseok blurts out. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth before continuing. "I-if you'd like that one?"

"You bought me one?" Jimin asks, feeling affection burst and bloom in his chest. 

"We've been waiting for you to join us," Hoseok admits, blushing pretty and nervous as his cheeks take on a slightly darker shade in the dim light.

Jimin feels overwhelmed with joy but also with regret. Some part of him always assumed that there was no place for him in their bed—that their invitations were a courtesy simply extended to the man Seokjin used to fuck, and nothing more. 

Hoseok scoots to the edge of the couch and slides himself away from Jimin, then he makes his way to the same armoire Seokjin stands near. From a drawer on the right side, Hoseok produces a black, rectangular box, then he stands on his toes and kisses Seokjin on the cheek before returning to Jimin, sitting beside him on the edge of the sofa with his body angled in and their knees touching. 

Jimin waits eagerly as Hoseok opens the box, revealing a very thin black leather collar with pale pink metal o rings hanging from various points around the length. Jimin's breath gets caught in his throat as tears well in his eyes, and he looks up to Hoseok, then to Seokjin, and back at the choker.

"This is—" Jimin begins, but his words get caught. "Thank you."

"Your hair was that pretty pale pink back when we bought it," Seokjin says as he approaches with a small silicon toy in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other.

Jimin smiles and runs an index finger over the hoops. His hair was pale pink when he met Hoseok, which means—

"You bought this for me that long ago?"

Hoseok hums and smiles softly. "We always wanted you to come to us, baby."

"I'm sorry," Jimin mutters quietly before he can stop himself. 

Seokjin tuts his tongue and sits on the couch beside him. "Nonsense. We knew you would come when you were ready. Well, we hoped, anyway." 

Hoseok interjects, "Admittedly, we did get a little jealous every time you brought some new guy around. We began to wonder if you held a grudge."

Gently, Hoseok removes the collar from the box and holds it up to Jimin's throat with a smile. As he wraps the thin leather around Jimin's neck and leans in closely to tighten it, Jimin breathes in Hoseok's floral, musky scent. The cold metal hoops kiss his skin and cause goosebumps to break over his arms.

"Perhaps a little," Jimin admits softly. "I guess for a while, I felt replaced."

Hoseok finishes clasping the collar, then sits back and gently takes Jimin's face in his hands. His pretty lips are downturned in a frown as he says, "I'm so sorry, baby."

"We have you here now, and that is all that matters," Seokjin says as he gets onto his knees on the floor.

Jimin straightens out and sits back on the couch while Seokjin crawls between his knees, and Hoseok's hands slide from Jimin's face, down to his neck, and to his chest. Seokjin sets the items in his hand beside Hoseok, then places both hands on Jimin's knees and rubs them up to his thighs. The warmth of Seokjin's hands and the distant but familiar sight of him looking up at Jimin from between his legs stir up myriad emotions. 

Seokjin leans forward and, with a smirk, finds the end of one of the strings on Jimin's pants with his teeth. Jimin's breath hitches as Seokjin gazes up at him through his lashes and begins to slowly sit back, untying Jimin's leather pants using only his mouth. Jimin finds himself panting as Seokjin runs his hands down and up his thighs, then further, to his waist. 

"Let's get you out of these," Seokjin purrs with a smile. "As much as I love the sight of you in leather."

Jimin nods, already feeling a bit dazed, and he lifts his hips as Seokjin gathers the waistband of his pants and briefs and tugs them down, past his thighs. Seokjin pulls, forcing Jimin's legs straight up in the air and he slides down in a slouching position, giggling softly as his hands grip the edge of the cushions for stability.

Rather than free Jimin's legs from the leather pants, Seokjin stops with Jimin's knees restrained and his legs standing tall, and rubs down the backs of Jimin's bare thighs, spreading him slightly. Jimin gasps and struggles to hold himself in position as Seokjin's fingers tease near his balls and down to his ass. 

"Hyung," Jimin whines, though for what he whines, he is unsure. 

Hoseok helps Jimin by sitting high on his knees beside him and tugging at the pants, freeing his legs. As soon as Jimin's feet fall free from the fabric, his legs spread, and Seokjin takes advantage of the position and pushes his thighs open, spreading him wide. Jimin hardly has a chance to adjust before Seokjin's warm, wet tongue is pressing and laving against his half-hard length. 

A breathy whimper punches from Jimin's lungs, and he shivers as Seokjin leaves sloppy, wet kisses along his thighs and groin in no discernable rhythm or pattern. Jimin slowly, gently lowers his legs and attempts to sit up and get more comfortable, but Seokjin presses Jimin's hips firmly into the couch, and Hoseok removes the cushion behind him, slowly lowering him onto his back. The couch is far deeper than Jimin realized when he sat, and he nearly distracts himself by wondering how thick those cushions are, but the sound of a lube bottle snapping open instantly dissolves all thought. 

"Have you sounded since doing it with me?" Seokjin asks. 

Jimin shakes his head, then remembers Seokjin probably can't see the movement and says, "No, sir."

"We'll go nice and slow, baby," Hoseok says as he pets Jimin's hair. "Just tell us what you need, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"And if you go non-verbal and need me to stop?" Seokjin asks as he drags his teeth over the soft flesh of Jimin's inner thigh.

"Clap my hands, sir," Jimin whimpers as the idea of becoming so high from pleasure that he might lose his ability to speak tingles through him. 

"Good baby," Seokjin and Hoseok say in tandem, sending a wave of arousal and excitement crashing over Jimin all at once.

All Jimin wants is to be so good for them that he breaks and becomes a shell of himself—a vessel for nothing but pleasure. Jimin does not reach that level of high with anyone else. Not with his now-dead ex, and certainly never with his clients. 

His achievement of subspace relies heavily on not only his level of trust but also on the unique types of pain that he has only explored with Seokjin. He found out about subspace by chance with Seokjin and has never allowed anyone to come close since. 

Jimin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, relaxing into the couch as best as he can while Seokjin gathers his cock and gently holds it in his hand, pointed straight up. Jimin prefers to sound while only partially erect, and he tries only to think of things that will stop him from becoming too hard, replaying the visual of alertness draining from his exes eyes as the laced cocaine pulled him from consciousness. 

Remembering the murder that had taken place mere hours ago is probably a mistake, and Jimin nearly begins to spiral and panic. But then the blunt tip of a small, silicon rod begins to enter the hole of his cock, and Jimin returns to reality. Seokjin is so painfully slow that as Jimin's eyes fly open and he stares up at the ceiling, all thoughts that had previously plagued him are wiped clean.

The stretch of his urethral opening is a familiar sting Jimin does his best to adjust to, and he gasps and claws at the couch as he tells himself over and over silently to breathe, just breathe, in slowly and out just as slowly, breathe, breathe, breathe.

"Does it hurt, baby?" Hoseok asks as he gently pets Jimin's hair.

"Yes, sir," Jimin manages through clenched teeth.

"Color?" Seokjin asks, stilling his movement but keeping the silicon inserted.

In the past, they always used the stoplight safeword system, where green signals for Seokjin to keep going and red signals for him to stop.

"Green, sir," Jimin responds, almost desperately.

Seokjin continues to slowly press in, stretching Jimin open with the small tool. The feeling no longer stings, but it does feel intrusive in a way that makes him want to squirm and claw and fight. It also feels so good—so unbelievably, incomprehensibly good—that Jimin trembles and sinks and does his best to disappear completely. 

"You're doing so good for us, pretty baby," Hoseok says sweetly, running his hand over Jimin's clothed chest, grazing his fingertips over a nipple and sending sparks through him. 

"Th-thank you, sir."

The pressure in Jimin's cock evens out, and Jimin tilts his head to find that the sounding rod has been completely inserted, with nothing but a little black loop sticking out from his tip. Jimin drops his head back to the couch and lets out a deep exhale. Already, he feels tingly and breathless—light as a feather on the breeze.

"I'm going to stretch you open a fuck you now," Hoseok mutters into Jimin's ear, making Jimin gasp. "Does that sound good to you, baby?"

"Yes, sir."

"And if we completely lose you to subspace, what should we do?" Seokjin asks.

"Continue to fuck me," Jimin mutters with a smile. "Use me until you're done and clean me up."

"You're sure about that?" Hoseok asks as his teeth graze over Jimin's throat.

Jimin has never been so sure of anything in his life. "Yes, sir," he whimpers desperately. He trusts them with his life. 

A lube-slick hand strokes Jimin's cock, and his sense of reality cracks. The pleasure feels so intense with the sounding rod snug inside him, that all he can do is gasp and continue to weakly claw at the cushion below him. 

Jimin hardly recognizes the weight on the couch shift, nor his upper half being lifted enough to tug the shirt over his head before his back is returned to the warm, soft cushion. 

When Jimin's legs are spread and a long, slick finger is prising him open, he realizes that he is lying fully on the couch—that he has been shifted around entirely. Punchdrunk on dizzying euphoria, all Jimin can comprehend is what his body feels; nothing else in the world exists. 

And when a warm, wet mouth engulfs his cock at the same time as two fingers stretch him open, Jimin fades completely from his body and floats to the ceiling. 

For the first time in years, Jimin feels the warm, peaceful hug of subspace, and he is totally and completely gone. His body and mind and trusted solely to these two handsome devils, and he is completely at their mercy.

thank you so much for reading!!! i hope you enjoy these extras. i lament only writing from one point of view, so these have been a lot of fun for me. hopefully it’s not too confusing plopping them into the story as early as chapter 10.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD OF THIS SITE, BUT LIKES ARE ALSO SUPER APPRECIATED!!! THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one! if you would like to be tagged in this fic, please let me know!!! 💜💜💜

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[spoonful-of-citrus-flowers]

Crossroads of the Usher Children: Pt. 1

To preface this: I think whatever Verna is, it's clear that, first and foremost, she’s a creature of choices and consequences. I kind of disagree with the view that it’s off-putting that Verna would be both compassionate and cruel to the Usher children. It does make sense that Verna would be sympathetic because although most of the Usher family (save for Lenore) are not good people, none of that is why they have to die. None of the kids were able to have any say in that decision (most of them weren’t even alive!).

But although Verna can’t prevent their deaths, she can make it a peaceful one – but that all relies on the choices the kids make. Since most of the Usher family doubles down on their worst impulses, she, in turn, is cruel. A creature of symmetry, as she puts it - choosing to act as a sort of crossroads, so to speak, where the manner of their inevitable death is determined by which path they take.

Prospero/Perry Usher: She appears as a mystery guest, prompting Perry to follow her into the bedroom, and tells him directly that there’s still time to stop it, to be satisfied with what the party has been so far (implying he should stay with Verna). But Perry makes his choice to not do so, and ends up dying from the acid in the tanks.

(Personally, I think the last kiss Verna gives him as he’s dying is what she would’ve done to kill him if he’d decided it was enough – just have him die of more or less natural causes during the party, at the high point of being so close to achieving something). Instead, his last moments are full of horror and pain.

Camille L'Espanaye: Verna’s the security guard, telling Camille she doesn’t have to go back there to see what Victorine is doing with the chimps. But Camille does so anyways, because she hates Victorine and wants to find evidence of her doing something wrong – so focused on doing that she doesn’t even realize one of the chimps is out of the cage. Then, as we know, she gets mauled to death by that same chimp.

Napoleon/Leo Usher: Verna is obviously the cat shelter worker/owner, but I’d argue her first interference was with the cat illusion, where Leo thinks he’s killed Pluto while on drugs. This one is interesting to me, because it shows that Verna is deeply knowledgeable about what people will typically do.

Most people will hesitate to say “Hey, honey, I think I might have killed the cat in a rage while I was on drugs last night” and might actually say what Leo initially did – that maybe they accidentally let the cat out. So, his “crossroads”, observed by Verna, was to either save another (or all, even!) of the cats in the kill shelter, but he chose to only get the one that looked just like Pluto in order to pretend that nothing happened to the cat and erase any of his responsibility for doing something bad.

Of course, we know by the very end of the episode, that Pluto was indeed accidentally let out, and appears by Leo’s body. Similar to Perry, if Leo had decided to stop and not try to get a Pluto doppelganger, he wouldn’t have died that way.

Part Two here!

[vaporclan]

1. Ferretdusk was dying from an infection in the story so I wanted to leave it up to interpretation whether the infection got her before Sootsky did - but the thing is, Sootsky covered up her wounds and then buried her not long after. No cat knows he did that, every cat thinks she overexerted herself going on a walk with her mate and kits

Firedapple only knew after Ferretdusk told her when they were both dead

2. Branchstar does not know everything that Sootsky has done nor to what extent. In the comic I made him *sneaky*, waiting for other cats to leave the camp, *whispering* to Burnthroat that one time, etc. He waits until Branchstar leaves to do his crimes because he *cannot* lose her support and his role as deputy. He puts on an innocent childish persona around Branchstar which feeds into her belief that he's just misguided and never properly grew up

^Which is why he got SO mad when the last time he tried that didn't work and he was demoted from deputy. He was FURIOUS that his little act wasnt working anymore and he took it out on the kit that looks the most like Branchstar

Him killing Brindlewhisker was him testing the waters so to say. To see how much he could get away with while his sister was stupid enough to think he has the mentality of a misunderstood apprentice

^Branchstar's mindset is based off the mindset of a guardian I had, where no matter what age I turned, even when I turned 22, she still seemed to always see me as a 12 year old

She remained motherly towards him & Sootsky just took advantage of that

3. Firedapple went to the border that one time due to a gut feeling. You know the kind that makes you almost feel nauseous that you cant get out of your head? Mantisleaf had died and Rainshade was taken by twolegs, so that's the cause of her gut feeling. Even though they never came with, they were still Ferretdusk kits after all. She wasn't their mother but she wished she was

4. Fogcloud was killed by rogues. I had a video planned for this that I never got around to which was a PMV. It would've explained why I let her have such an abrupt ending.

(In game she died from rogues but I usually change rogue deaths to something else. In game Burnthroat and Firedapple both died to rogues for example)

[meownotgood]

20 fic writing questions, thank you for tagging me @hash-slinging-slasher-trash 💪💕

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

14 total works!!

2) total ao3 word count?

253,421.... damn... I haven't checked so I didn't expect it to be so much lol (that's a lot of aki)

3) what fandoms do you write for?

chainsaw maaaan (aki man) but I hope to write more for bg3 in the future because I really enjoyed it!!

4) top 5 fics by kudos?

#1 quiet dream with 1,009 kudos

#2 arrival in tokyo with 568 kudos

#3 fired with 473 kudos

#4 a little death with 413 kudos

#5 cherry waves with 389 kudos

the way my fic with the most hits and kudos isn't even aki... it's a dan heng x reader fic I wrote in like three days... 😭 I suppose it's because I wrote it right when hsr came out so I got in on it early... either way it makes me laugh LOL

5) do you respond to comments?

I try to! I read every one just sometimes too busy to reply

6) what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the end x3 and last act are pure angst all the way thru. last act is definitely my fic with the darkest or angstiest ending (and also my least popular fic, interestingly) (I don't blame u for not wanting to read about aki dying we read to get away from that ok)

7) the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

happy does not exist in chainsaw man world so the gale fic I recently wrote has to be up there. gale please marry me so we can live happily ever after

8) do you get hate on fics?

not on my fics on ao3 I don't think but I've had anonymous hate mail telling me my writing sucks or whatever, it's to be expected at least once on tumblr so it doesn't bother me in the slightest haha

9) do you write smut?

hahha.... me? noooooo.... I'm innocent... (LYING)

10) craziest crossover?

never written a crossover fic but I've had a lot of dreams about aki meeting other characters if that counts

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

......... unfortunately 😭 (let's not talk about the incident) (every time I see l*on k*nnedy I hear the voices)

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge

13) have you ever co-written a fic before?

not exactly but I helped my beloved f1gments write her fic detour and she helped me a lot with under the influence, it wouldn't be a thing without her help!!! ily 💓💞💕💞

14) favorite ship?

me x aki (or akiangel I suppose)

15) a wip you want to finish but probably never will?

I wrote 10k words for a gun fiend fic that never ended up happening, he's quite difficult to write lol...

16) writing strengths?

writing a lot and being unshamefully crazy 💪

17) writing weaknesses?

dialogue is so hard for me 😭 also I need to have more confidence in myself!!

18) thoughts on dialogue in another language?

it's hot.

19) first fandom you wrote in?

if we're talking on ao3 it's chainsaw man, but if we're talking in general... I wrote my fair few of madoka magica and warrior cats fanfictions back in the days.....

20) favorite fic you've written?

I'll always hold a little death close to my heart <3 it was so fun to write and truly when I fell back in love with writing I think. I would have given up if it wasn't for the experience I had creating that fic

not sure who to tag but! anyone is welcome to join!

[graaythekwami]

What is your opinion about the ending of Miraculous?

(I'm using this ask as my chance to talk about both episodes as a whole, not just the ending-- spoilers ahead!)

My thoughts on these two episodes are mixed, but positive overall. :)

Over all, I enjoyed the episodes. It was fun, the action and animation were great, and there are parts that I really really loved that are being adopted into all my kwami headcanons right now and no one can stop me. I was worried with how the season would end based off of some things I heard, and was prepared for the worst-- but these were enjoyable episodes to watch.

However I will not lie that I am not happy with how some characters were handled. I'm sorry but I will never be happy with Gabriel being seen as a hero, and the fact that Adrien wasn't there or even told what happened?? Gabriel getting a statue?? Gabriel acting like he cared about Adrien when he clearly didn't?? No... just no, its not right or fair. I could go on about this all day, but I won't as there's a lot to say about these episodes.

Adrien not getting a role in this finale I am mad at. Him being left in the dark about what happened I'm also not happy with, HOWEVER... seeing Marinette's age, mindset, and everything she's been through... I don't feel that her actions were out of character. I can see a young teenager under pressure wanting to protect the one she loves from a horrible reality. I'm not saying her keeping the truth from him is right, but I can see how it fits into the narrative. As long as the fact that this lie was told is addressed in the future (and the weight it will no doubt put on Adrien) and not just brushed aside, then I won't get up in arms about this scene yet, and I will wait to see how its handled in the future.

Last small little tiny thing is Felix. Like... it feels out of character for him to just be like "yeah hero team!" and for the hero team to be like "yeah Felix!" Feel like more should have been addressed on Felix's character as a whole.

Okay-- enough about the negative-- onto all the awesome parts about these episodes! :D

First of all-- hero team!! Full time holders!! Saved kwamis (I'm so sorry Nooroo that you're still out there you deserve so much better!!) I love it, this is what we needed, and I hope the identity rules ease up among the heroes after this.

Next Nathalie. Oh Nathalie, the queen, amazing-- 11/10 this episode. She full on goes in dying and is ready to shoot Gabriel with a crossbow?? Like girl, you're amazing!! I'm glad to see that she is better now, she deserves it. Anyways I love her.

Adrien getting his amok-- yes, finally.

Marinette's Ladybug and Black Cat unification was a lot of fun. Its too bad the name Lady Noire was already taken, but I loved this whole fight. A piano being dropped on Gabriel's head, Gabriel's reaction to Marinette being Ladybug. Marinette beating Gabriel and just summoning all the Luck Charms... she was a boss. I loved the checkmate scene. I love how she did try to reach out to Gabriel (not that he deserves a second chance but Marinette is just a sweetheart). I loved Gabriel's betrayal to her with a Vemon because it was his last in character moment, I loved that we got to see all the other characters in action. The classmates, Fei and the New York heroes. All great scenes.

Now finally onto the gold of these episodes: THE KWAMIS. Hehehehe they were amazing, they were beautiful. Yes give me all their true forms, give me Gimmi (hehe) they look SO cool and epic. I originally thought I wouldn't like a true-form kwami or a fusion form of them but never mind they're glorious they are my children we need true forms for all the kwamis look at how powerful they are!!

And how the Wish works... I never really liked the whole "destroy the universe and create a new one" idea they had going on in other episodes, and I'm so glad they went with an equal price. And maybe destroy and remake the universe still has a role in it all but give me the green strawberries as a price. The whole Wish scene with how it works and the true form of the kwamis was fantastic and I love it so much.

[aprillikesthings]

So I am fascinated by how some fandoms just...spontaneously end up with some tropes repeating over and over in fic (especially explicit fics)

Like, I've never been in a fandom that had many coffee shop au's, but I know there are fandoms where they're super popular. There are fandoms with absolutely massive amounts of omegaverse and fandoms with like, none.

And sometimes it's obvious why a particular fandom ends up with a popular fic tropes: Steven Universe fandom has a lot of high-school au's. She-Ra has a lot of university au's. (These are probably the same authors at least some of the time!)

But sometimes it's a complete fucking mystery to me???

And a thought/question about explicit catradora fics under the readmore:

With the obvious disclaimer that I have not read a double-digit percentage of the explicit catradora fics on ao3 (seriously there's 1,668 of them as of right now), I have read uhhh maybe a dozen or two dozen of them?

And I'm dying to know: why is tribbing (i.e. rubbing your vulva on someone's body; sometimes the other person's vulva but in this fandom usually their thigh) so INSANELY COMMON in catradora fics?

I say this knowing that before I even read fics in this fandom, I'd already written my own tribbing scene into my current WIP! So like, I'm including myself here. I didn't even know it was such a huge thing when I wrote it. Like, I think it was the first sex scene I wrote for that fic. So it wasn't just from seeing it in other fics, which would be the obvious reason.

So imagine my surprise and amusement when I started inhaling fics and "rubbing off on each other's thighs" is INCREDIBLY common in catradora fics, whether they're pre-canon or mid-canon or post-canon or non-fantasy au or those au's where they're on modern Earth but all the partially-animal characters are still partially-animal, so like, Catra works an office job but still has cat ears and a tail (I admit I love these)

So now I'm sitting here going: why is that the sex act so many of us write???? Like we might also write oral and fingering and whatever else, don't get me wrong.

If it was just canon-ish fics I could sort of see it: I could imagine a situation where all of us are looking at Catra's claws and possibly-rough tongue and going uhhhhhhh...hm. But...everyone manages to get around that! We decide that Catra can retract her claws. Either her tongue is closer to a human's or Adora's into it lol.

I've had some theories.

My first thought was that rather than "take turns" they can kiss and face each other the whole time? And we really want that for them? (But...there are other sex acts where you can do that.)

But maybe also it's the kind of thing that is the obvious next step when frantically making out (as one might when you finally get to kiss/fuck the person you've loved and wanted most while also actively tried to hurt for the last multiple years...don't mind me just having. feelings. again. ;_;) and not wanting to separate for even a second???

I mean I say this knowing a couple of weeks ago I posted about how the first time I made out with another girl, when I was 17, she shoved her knee into my crotch and I nearly came even though we were both fully dressed lol

So are we all basing it on our own first times with another girl? Because I know that's why I wrote it.

Anyway, likely nobody will see this post lol, BUT, if you read or write she-ra/spop fics lemme know if you've noticed this (like seriously is it just the fics I personally happen to have read?) and if you have theories

Because this is not my first f/f pairing or fandom for which I have read and/or written a ton of fics (lol), but this is the first one where like, nearly every explicit fic has had "rub it out on each other's thighs while making out, either dressed or naked" in it lol

[gojonanami]

[lovely sab, if you do me the honor of answering this, please consider tagging it as jjk manga spoilers for those who haven't read it yet]

the way the manga is going imma crawl once again in your inbox and BEG you to keep up the fanon work cause

DAMN IT ALL WITH THAT ONE EYED CAT

I was upset when junpei died but i thought, well, it DOES serve the story somehow-

I felt so sad with Rika and the whole becoming a curse thingy, the bittersweet ending of her helping yuta let her go kinda added to it but, well, it DID have a pivotal role for a special grade with so much potential-

amanai's death was so sudden I had to close the manga for a sec, but it starts off geto's villain era and well this IS a major point-

and geto, I was DEVASTATED when he died he is my FAV and while it did stay true to the tragedy of his story it was HEARTBREAKING-

haibara did NOT deserve to die and that is ALL that needs to be said-

toji was kinda going for it, but still his last memory of his wife was a tad too much to bear, still-

AND MIMIKO AND NANAKO, WHY ?? JUST WHY ?? THEY WERE JUST USED FOR THE GRANDEUR OF SUKUNA NO MORE NO LESS-

its WAY too soon to talk for nanami, that man is still gnawing at my mind, all the pressure he had and he never got the chance to get the rest he wanted, still it was probably done to turn yuji to the state he is currently, losing a mentor he had-

i did not like mai to begin with, guilty as charged, but her becoming a sword for her sister, and requesting she destroy everything, it made me bawl-

the zenin clan can die all they want no rant for them

and yuki, well, she did tick me a bit but her dying without even accomplishing her goal-the black hole and all-

hell, NOBARA ????? why ???? WHY GEGE ????

BUT

THE LAST DAMNED STRAW

WAS GOJO NOT ONLY DYING

BUT BEING USED AS A PAWN

AS IF THAT WASNT THE CASE FOR HIS WHOLE LIFE

SO SAB PLEASE KEEP UP I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GRIEVE THEM ANYMORE

no literally anon, I feel the same way. I feel like we were all fooled by the first season in a way (despite junpei and the other horrors) but we were lulled into thinking it would be okay for our main group.

but it wasn’t.

I’ll never be over nanami tbh — that death literally hurt so bad and mappa made it worse somehow — don’t know how they did it. all the death is supposed to demonstrate how cruel jujutsu is, but at some point I feel like I become both numb but too sensitive to it — like a scabbed over wound that won’t heal because it’s picked at.

gojo hurt so much the first time and 261 feels like I’m mourning him all over again — I honestly am so glad for break week because I don’t think I could take it personally. I’m so worried for yuta - I don’t even know how to deal. and gojo being inflicted to the same fate as geto will never not hurt me.

I am trying 😭 my actor au is my way of acting like everyone is fine and that it’s just a show (I mean it is a show but you know what I mean) - I’m Gege now guys, cannot deal with that one eyed cat anymore 😭😭

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I really want to get another cat. Thing is, there’s several reasons why it’d be a good idea (boy has a playmate, I think my ideal number of cats is 2, and give a kitty in need of a home a nice one) but also a lot of reasons I know it’s not a good idea *right now*

First reason is I’m not sure I’m fully ready for it. There’s still a part of my brain that hopes that this new new cat (I’m gonna need another system when I do get one lmao) would act more like old cat and I’ve had enough pets to know that’s a red flag that means you’re not ready yet. It just leads to disappointment when your new pet doesn’t behave like the old one when they were never going to, every animal is a unique individual and no two will give the same experience even when they are similar. And I know this. But the heart still wants

Also two cats, especially when one is brand new to the living situation and is still adjusting, is more work than one and for several reasons my energy lately has been pretty low. So. Am I up for that right now? I’m not sure. I’m sure I could rise the occasion if it’s needed, but like. Would it be a good idea to put myself into that situation at the moment? I’m not sure it would be. Even if I do miss having two cats a lot

There’s also the matter of living situation. Last year I was hoping to move, as I’m getting to the point in my life where it is time to Purchase a living space instead of rent. Which is terrifying tbh lmao, but it is a thing none the less. Plus I just really want a bit more space at this point, and certain conveniences (oh how I long for my own laundry devices) that I don��t currently have. But with old cat, that just didn’t end up being in the cards cause my babies are always my priority above all else (the financial hit also didn’t help - I’m only just recovering from it now). I was simply not going to move while she was old and fragile and dying of cancer

However, my province also sucks! And it recently decided it’s gonna suck even more! Not as much as most of the US, at least not yet, but. It’s not promising. And the long term prospects are also Not Great (both in terms of social things and economically as well like, things are probably going to get worse long before they get better, if they ever do get better). And my city isn’t *the worst* but it’s more expensive than ideal. So it’s like. Do I want to buy a place here? I don’t know. But do I want to move out of this province? I also don’t know

Cause moving adds a lot of factors, even if I stay in the same province but look at a cheaper city. And leaving the province, okay, which to go to? This one’s nice but expensive and has weather I don’t like, and that ones cheap but also there’s a decent risk things will get worse there politically. And then there’s a risk the whole country will get fucked politically next year but I am doing my utmost to not worry about it until it is actually an immediate problem

And then there’s factors like, all the people I know are here (even if I’m bad at seeing them a lot). Familiar grocery stores and restaurants, other amenities, hell, my internet company is not fully national last I checked - will I have to switch providers? Work isn’t an issue as I work from home and we have people in multiple provinces, but like. Literally everything else is. I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t know what it would be like to move that far. I’ve never done it

(And there’s also like. A sort of political responsibility. I read a lot after the shitty thing was announced and like. Some people are leaving. Some are staying because fuck you, bigots will not drive me from me home, I will fight back. Some are staying because they can’t afford to leave. And some are staying because if everyone who can leave does leave, then who’s left to at least try to fight this shit for those at risk who can’t get out? Especially as while I’m not in the demographic currently at risk, I’m in an adjacent one so it’s like. No, I’m not at risk yet but it’s possible I will be some day, but I also do feel some level of responsibility to try to help those who are currently at risk because I’m not)

And my dad is planning to leave (though unclear how firm that plan is right now and unclear exactly where) and is like ‘well come with me’ and I’m gonna be honest I. Don’t really want to like. I’m in my 30s. There is a part of me that feels like it’s time to get a bit more space from my family. My mom moved already for other reasons, so I don’t physically see her often, but technology is a thing so. Quite frankly my parents are both really bad at having friends so being literally the only person one of them knows in an entire city is kind of a nightmare scenario for me lmao. I need my space. I get annoyed when I get texted too often, I am NOT going to be your sole social contact. And I know that’s what would happen if we both moved to the same place with no one else. And even without all that, we have differences of opinions in “ideal place to live” so. I know they’re (dad goes by they/them) going to try to pressure me but if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I don’t want that

And, to circle this all back, there is also my kitty boy: he does NOT travel well. At all. He has panic attacks in the car that leave him panting and screaming within about 1 minute of being in there. We are trying to work on it, given transport is important for vet visits, but progress is slow. I was thinking he might have to get the old gaba just for me to be able to move within the city. He’s an anxious little guy. It’s gonna be tough for him, both the general realities of moving and the driving to the new place part. And I originally wasn’t really thinking of moving anywhere out of a 20 min or so radius of where I currently live partly for that reason

So to move to another province (and please remember Canada is Huge, like, this would be several hours or even multiple days of driving), I don’t know if I can even do that in a way that’s safe for him. Drugs are an option, but depending on where, it could be an unfeasibly long drive to do that with. And god, planes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be on a plane (even though I’d NEVER let him ride in the cargo, I’d buy an extra seat if I had to). He could have a stress-induced heart attack and die and if this is in transit, I’d be powerless to save him and I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I killed him

And so with all of that, I’m like. I really can’t get another cat until I know wtf I’m doing and implement that because it would be awful for the new kitty if I got them and then immediately moved somewhere, either close or far. I can’t do that, it would be cruel. So like. Idk, I just don’t know what to do

I’m also aware that like. There are two problems in this ramble and the one I opened with is not really the larger one lmao but like. Genuinely I do not know what to do and that’s scary so I’m just kinda frozen here thinking how nice it would be to have a second floof gallivanting around the apartment but also knowing I can’t really have that right now (unless the cat distribution system decides to give me no choice in the matter lmao but I’m not expecting that to happen)

[seth-burroughs]

The Rain Code x Warriors au no one asked for nor will receive an explanation for

What's up I'm still doing bad and feel my last year's mystery stress sickness is coming back and none of my drafts are anywhere remotely close to getting finished anytime soon because of that how are you are you interested in cat

(picked the TPB timeline because it makes the most sense and has the most fitting characters, but I might cheat or bend it a little, we'll see)

Yuma Kokohead -> Rusty/Firestar

Main boy :) because of course he is. Yuma's now an orange cat. Firestar was the name of Number One, and Rusty (canonically Fire's old house cat name, I'm not calling them kittypets I'm sorry) was the name of the trainee he very politely borrowed his identity for.

Makoto Kagutsuchi -> Scourge

In wc canon, Scourge is also Firestar's half-brother (but they don't ever knooow) and they both kill each other + he's canonically stated to be VERY short like one of the smallest cats in the series. After the cloning, Makoscourge painted his fur completely black except for a one white paw (for the aesthetics. or maybe I'll just give Fire a white paw as well, kinda like Yuma's and Makoto's lil ahoges), started wearing the "OwO" mask, the dog tooth studded shrimp color collar, the fucking blood dyed amv bangs, the dog tooth reinforced claws........ The former CEO took him to hot topic for the first time in his life and he was fucking MESMERIZED none of them knew what they have brought upon themselves by this single act. He is a very silly man, lost in the whimsy. When his mask gets pulled off in the Mystery Labirynth, his face is just not dyed at all and it's just ginger with green eyes just like Rusty's/Firestar's/Yuma's/whatever.

Shinigami -> Spottedleaf

In canon, Spottedleaf does infamously end up haunting Firestar's dreams as a ghost to send him cryptic visions and furiously make out with him in front of his pregnant wife, he did have a crush on her before she died and I'm pretty sure she was retconned into reciprocating it was real bad and then they double killed her so Fire won't have to choose between her and his wife in heaven it was REAL bad uhh. I still like her though. I can get you out of the narrative girl just take my hand.... She can be the weirdgirl incarnate she was always meant to be. I wanted to say something else but then I realized holy shit I'm just tweaking her into Bonefall rewrite Spottedleaf am I... What can I say it IS peak Spottedleaf.

Yomi Hellsmile -> Tigerstar

Also extremely obvious. He is evil and has immaculate sexual tension between the protag whoops sorry I forgot literally only me and like 2 other people here ship Yuma and Yomi uhh anyway. While it does fit I'm a little dissapointed that Yomi/Tigerstar is gonna be losing so much of his cringe charm..... Like, say goodbye to deeply unserious insecure prettyboy toothpick Yaoi with silly little insults such as "umbrella sewing machine man operating hand hook car table" and how do I even describe all of this in less than 3 paragraphs. Say hello to broad-shouldered muscular extremely intimidating 100% serious and competent fascist built like a fucking brick shithouse with very broad-shoulders that doesn't need a henchman boytoy to handle all his numerous murders, have I mentioned his massive fucking broad shoulders, Firestar sure did do that a lot. It's like, where's the fun..... Whatever.... I guess...........😔😔😔

Martina Electro -> Leopardstar

Now for an assigned role I'm way more cool with >:)))) for an outrageously long while I had trouble with whether Martina should be Sasha or Goldenflower, fool I was, until I remembered Leopardstar fucking exists. She is literally perfect like I cannot state this enough. AND canonically she was later retconned to have feelings for Tigerstar but I hate to acknowledge it how dare you massacre Lep like that. She can still be his gf alongside vice director though, she's just engaging in acts of deceit whilst putting opioids in his food and trying her darndest to convince herself she's actually 100% in control of the situation before she's dragged to the cube dimension and has a brief "are we the baddies" moment. I don't think she still resigns from being a peacekeeper though Leopardstar 100% would take that fucking promotion the moment she's offered it and a year later when she' done feeling guilty regresses back into being a violent asshole she has learned NOTHING❤️

Fake/Hitman Zilch -> Darkstripe

So many dissapointments happening here sigh..... This one was obvious and honestly the only valid option for FZilch aside from maybe Nightwhisper or Blackfoot? Anyway, the downsides: one, Darkstripe will never be as cool as fake Zilch he thrives on being a cringe mistreated lickspittle. Two, he's definitely not one of Tigerstar's "closest advisors (🏳️‍🌈)" whilst Dark is pretty obsessed Tiger does not give a shit and considers him a looooooser boooo lameee fuck you *canonically swats him away with his tail that one scene*. But, I mean, at least the toxic yaoi became an entire new category of toxic.

Swank Catsonell -> Brokenstar

Pure vibes. It just fits. He employs small children and makes them fight to the death in his office for glory

Seth Burroughs -> Longtail

In canon, another one of Tigerstar's lackeys that didn't know about his crimes and when he found out he immediately left. I thought he was not evil enough to be Seth at first, but it kinda fits and he does make up for it in his cringe value and being noted to be a coward, though that may have been just Fire's opinion. Also, with all the bunny Seth Burrows jokes, I'd like to mention Longtail got his eyes clawed by a rabbit so hard he went blind so do with that what you will

Guillaume Hall -> Russetfur

Aaaand this is where I started having trouble with the remaining peacekeepers. Eventually I settled on Russetfur & Blackfoot/Blackstar for Guillaume and Dominic, because I like this danger duo I and some of the fandom completely made up about them. It's okay, the authors don't know you like we do...... While Blackstar did have a higher rank and Russet was his deputy, I do think she still had at least an equal amount of power as him, they're buddies pair bonded for life Blackstar is nodding respectfully to whatever incomprehensible wisdom she's sharing

Dominic Fulltank -> Blackfoot/star

In canon, started out as a murderous henchman of two major equally murderous evil dictators, before they both died and he finally got that boss promotion he always wanted, then he got ruined by the, you guessed it, retcons, but I don't like to be reminded of his atrocity of a novella. I always imagined Blackstar as like, unbelievably jacked holy shit the muscles on that cat, (and honestly most of the fandom does too so. lmao) and he does indeed canonically unflinchingly do the dirty work of all his bosses such as killing and maiming and destroying an

You get the point. He serious'd. Darkstripe wishes he could be him. And I'm pretty sure that was even canonically implied in the sixth book lmaooooooooo. Loser <3

Dr. Huesca -> um. Goosefeather?

The looks definitely fit, Dr. Huesca indeed bears striking resemblance to that tortured feline. However, while sometimes an asshole, Goose is definitely not evil... But he could be. He deserves to be. As a treat. Also: old man pride

Kurumi Wendy -> Cinderpaw/pelt

Easy, get Cinder'd idiot. They even have a pretty similiar energy too, I feel. This is where I got a bit tired, uhh...It's 11pm. Anyway I love Cinder and I love Kurumi say anything bad about them and I'll start scream crying on the floor

Halara Nightmare -> Yellowfang

Halara gets the old beam. They're now in their fucking 60s or something perhaps 70s. Yellowfang, on the other hand, gets the non-binary spec beam. She already gave off massive butch vibes in canon already, whatever. I don't think I can uhh in short terms explain Yellowfang's whole deal rn but the gist of it she's a very snarky grandma figure to Fire that gradually warmed up to him while she was- my cat vomited. While he was assigned to take care of her while she was taken prisoner into ThunderClan camp. Her personality's pretty funky. And she does seem cool enough in order to deserve to be Halara Nightmare.

Desuhiko Thunderbolt -> Graystripe

I think I'm taking a break and coming back to this tomorrow actually after all. Hello this is tomorrow Jasper. In canon, Graystripe is Fire's silly goofy boybestie when they're young, then he starts secretly dating Silverstream - hold on i can't fuvking take tjis im making myself hot cocoa again bye. Ok it's done let's see if that makes me feel something. As I was saying he's dating this cat and she's from a rival Clan so that's illegal forbidden love and then she dies during childbirth and he leaves his own Clan for a while to raise their babies there but then he gets exiled and goes back to his own and then his kids almost get publically executed for being half-clan so he and his buddies rescue them. And then he gets abducted by humans and meets this new gal called Millie and they start dating and then she gives birth to his new babies and then a tree falls on one of them. I'm pretty sure Fire was also pretty gay for that guy. Uh, anyway. I think he fits the bill because of his goofy charm but also it's pretty disturbing to imagine any iteration of Desuhiko actually getting bitches

Fubuki Clockford -> um. uh. Silverstream?

Silverstream, in canon, is the only daughter of Crookedstar, the leader of RiverClan, and is (implied to not having a problem with) getting various privileges because of this. Fits with Fubuki's rich timelord parents, plus light blue aesthetic, and a few other things which are hard to articulate. Only thing is that she's generally way more headstrong and impulsive than Fubuki showed to be, could "bend her father to her will with little effort", and disrespects the law if it's stupid to her which, queen shit. I think she'll play a lot of little pranks with her time powers, and devote her free time/time with YumaRusty when he's accused of terrorism crimes (but that's just unrestrained summer fun anyway) to absolutely decimate any peacekeepers they come across with some looney tunes shit

Vivia Twilight -> I'll be honest I have no fucking idea

Zero fucking idea. Literally NOBODY in this arc fits for the 5D chess of a character Vivia is. I'm not even sure if in any of the books. Help me. But also I don't really care because I don't even like Vivia at all anyway he freaks me out get him away from me.

Yakou Furio -> Bluestar?

Protag mentor figure except Bluestar is actually doing a good job at that until she loses her marbles after her mid-arc torment gauntlet and has a corruption arc until she drowns and gets healed of all her issues momentarily before fucking dying. She has a dead husband, dead mom, dead sister, dead baby, dead deputy, dead deputy #2, dead bestie, holy shit that's a lot of motives for suicidemurdering Huesgoose. Btw Goose was her weird voice of god hearing uncle in canon (and he was also dead) but I'm probably taking it out unless. Anyway she's kinda too good for Yakou but. They're also both blue like that is a blue cat

And for some side characters, keyword some:

Aiko -> Littlepaw/cloud

Aetheria's now not an all girls school anymore sorry I cannot do this guys. Littlecloud was Cinder's/Kurumi's good buddy and I like their friendship. Unfortunately, you know what that means.

Karen -> Swiftpaw

Originally was supposed to have Aiko's place before I remembered Little exists. In canon his most notable moment was dying brutally, which I mean also fits the Karen quota. Plus, while not an asshole per se he does have a more fiery/overall angry personality and he did try to impulsively take on a pack of dogs to prove himself and fucking died, if under enough pressure I'm pretty sure he could smash Aiko's/Littlepaw's head in with a brick too👍👍

Yoshiko, Waruna, Kurane -> Brackenpaw/fur, Thornpaw/claw, Brightpaw/heart?

Siblings in canon and two of them are guys so no murderous yuri I guess :(( But I mean I don't have to follow canon to a T anyway lmao so we'll see. In canon, basically the other three remaining apprentices along with Swiftpaw and the ashfern siblings, plus they do function as a trio via just being sibs. Plus some notes from the books: Cinder is the fourth sibling. Brightpaw follows Swiftpaw in his quest to slay the doggy and while he dies she survives but gets her eyeball and half of her entire face's fur torn off.

Real Zilch -> Redtail

He's very dead. Very, very dead. His most iconic moment was dying abruptly and tragically via murder rip in rest

Kei Colan -> Snowkit

He is a child. That's a little boy

Snowkit, signing furiously: MY MAMA GOT FRAMED AND IS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY EXECUTED BY THE PEACEKEEPERS IF NOTHING IS DONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yellowfang, signing back in swagful motions: and how much cash does your mama have on her currently

Jiei Colan -> Speckletail

Snowkit's very old mama. Looks like she could kill you but genuinely does not have a body count. Yet.

Ramen Stand Owner -> Ravenpaw

Ravenpaw in canon hit the bricks and ran away from the Clans due to being in danger there, and lived out the rest of his days on a farm with his cowboy boyfriend Barley mostly free of drama. I'd say that fits lmao. We can make his old name Rusty, not a problem.

Margulaw -> Pinestar

90 year old voice "yeah so uhh my fucking son grew up to be a dictator now. When he was a newborn ghosts were yelling at me to kill him because he'll grow up to be a bad man otherwise and of course like any sane kanaiwardian father I said "fuck that" and had to leave ma' family behind run away from the company so the demons would shut up. And y'know little buddy... Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I just can't help but. Y'know. Anyway. Sigh."

Do you get my vision did that sound comprehensible

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Don't worry for, of course, one Akudama Drive post ended up in my notes app while I was away.

Brother is already represented as an older brother, but I think there's an implication that through immortality, he's older than it seems.

Of course, it's obvious he's mature for his age, but we have no indication of how long the experiments lasted. He might have looked the way he does for a while, but we don't know how long. Sister, on the other hand, is very much presented as a child character. The implication seems to be that she was created not so long ago, and as soon as she was ready, sent to the Shinkansen. I'm not 100% sure of that - she could have gone through a period of experiments like him - but I'd say not necessarily. If she had, a flashback of Brother being traumatised by that knowledge would have been in order. On the contrary, he was shown, meeting her in his flashback, acting calm, as though she wasn't going to get hurt from existing alongside him. Moreover, she acts a lot more like a kid. Brother also makes a comment about her youth to Swindler when they reunite.

I was thinking about this because I thought about the ending. I thought about Hacker knowing what Swindler was up to enough to know she was about to put her life on the line. I thought about Courier dying to save them, too. And I thought about them being children, going through the motions and not realising the weight of what was going on, just for their sake.

Both of them cared, but Sister was the one to beg Swindler not to go. Brother accepted a lot more. Brother was in fact more responsible in what happened in the first place, taking the place of the cat, and if I recall correctly, even actively complained about Courier stopping the bike. Sister's role is a lot closer to that of a young child, who has a clear idea of the horrors going around her but not the capacity to understand them deeply. I think their grief, and their guilt, in the future, might look a little different, because of this difference in understanding and possible responsibility at the time it happened. Brother might feel straightforward guilt for knowing what was gonna happen and taking the risk anyway. Sister might feel the type of guilt you feel for being there when something happened, helpless, and even worse, benefiting from it, even though you were a child who couldn't possibly have chosen that.

It could be that their relationship suffers from it - or maybe that their bond is so strong that in spite of this, it doesn't. Brother's relationship to the situation may be that he was ready to do it, not realising that he would wind up feeling emotionally invested in the Akudama (or perhaps not realising what risk came with death for a mortal). Sister's would be so much closer to that of a child who could only watch on the side as something big was happening, because they were a child.

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 38

This is probably going to be the last one I watch today and then I'll finish it tomorrow. Unless this one ends on a cliffhanger...

I don't know if he's lying but he seems genuinely delighted that Yifan has done something in the game and no one knows how he did it

I really thought Yifan had won that one and I legit gasped when Xiao Shiqin managed to take him out as he was dying. The game sequences in this drama are so good!

If they didn't both already have boyfriends I would ship them. Yifan deserves all the boyfriends who love and respect him.

His former captain is proud of him. I'm fine I'm not crying at all.

And his other boyfriend is proud of him too

All I've wanted is for someone to hug Yifan and amazingly it's An Wenyi who has stepped up

HEY! Why don't the girls get to be in the team huddle? This is bullshit.

I was so sure it was going to be Sun Xiang but I suppose Ye Xiu has to defeat his son before he can defeat his son's new dad

Love Shaotian using the commentator mic to send personal messages to his friend

Wenzhou: You are very cute but that's enough

I don't know why but I love that they all have lil backpacks with their keyboards, mice and headsets in

Haha! His son left him hanging and now he's acting like a cat who's pretending it meant to just fall off the table. And look how amused Xiao Shiqin is. Utterly delightful.

I love that even Wenzhou looks surprised

Aww look how he's matured. He wants them to be even before they fight so he knows he won on his own merit not because Ye Xiu was half dead when they started. Having a husband and a son has been good for him 😂

I love how shameless he's being. That's my little gremlin.

Everyone else: Ye Xiu is amazing!

Wei Chen: FFS!

That's his husband

YES! Phew that was an intense game!

Damn that was close!

I love that Shaotian isn't even pretending to be an unbiased commentator

Bowing to the fans to apologise for his loss. He really has grown up so much. FFS why am I crying over this?

I love Shaotian so much

It's cute when Ye Xiu calls Wei Chen old. It's less cute when people outside their team do it

I don't like it but pro sports players do shit like this all the time. At the end of any season you find out players were playing with broken bones and all sorts of awful stuff. One guy a few years back was getting hooked up to an IV every night while his team was in the final so he could play through a really bad fever.

Oh so he's letting her play now. Honestly, fuck this guy for fucking everyone around. The sooner she gets out of this toxic environment the better

I love that Xiao Shiqin hates him too

Ah, good. Right before the next game seems a good place to stop for the day. Back tomorrow to finish it off.

[grimbeak]

Ok.

Reaction to tonights episode under cut.

First off: Holy fuck. Holy dick n balls. What the hell do I do now? What am I supposed to be doing now? Going to sleep? What the fuck. Holy crap. What.

Moving on.

"Call me Mother Lauren."

The Boy. His reluctance to talk about his mother. Lauren.

"I remember as a child, when Frown Night ended, I’d take my bag of loot, and sit on the highest level of the lighthouse.

LAUREN: Oh, the one at the top of the mountain?"

The lighthouse on the mountain??? The mountain that is only in the desert otherworld???? Either this is finknor forgetting again (I doubt it since its an easy thing to at least look up on the wiki), his ass is lying, or...... that motherfucker grew up/lived in the desert otherworld as a kid.

"Mr. Schlecht, Mrs. Schlecht, Sister Schlecht, Brother Schlecht, and even their dog, who was a basset hound named Malo."

This one parodies the story he did the last time he did a holiday episode with Lauren, except its changed slightly. There is no second mother, there is no stick boy, it is a dog instead of a fucked up cat.

The names have changed. I believe in the last story, the citizens could not see their smiles despite the family smiling. This time, they know they are not smiling.

I still think this is Kevin's family, perhaps a different one of his however. Or maybe he's starting to remember it more accurately.

"And I want to add that The Smiling God loves all of Its children, no matter what…. Unless you’re shunned. If your community doesn’t want you, The Smiling God doesn’t either."

Kevin is shunned by the community. Later, Lauren says this:

"KEVIN: Not even a hint as to how the Smiling God sees me?

LAUREN: I’m only allowed tell people happy news. And if I told you what the Smiling God really thinks of you, you’d become sad, and the Smiling God does not like it when you’re sad. So…. no."

The smiling god does not love kevin.

"You know, when I think someone is feeling sad, I won’t talk to them again for months, maybe years. It’s important to give people space."

The last time Lauren saw kevin, supposedly, was at the mudstone abyss. She then did not speak to him for years.

"Isn’t that what you’d do, Kevin?"

Referencing herself, Carlos, or possibly Charles here. If we return to the theory that The Boy is Donovan, and he has been missing for several years in DOW time.... Charles and Kevin could've had a fight/temp broken up, hence why we don't hear about them.

"It’s important that we face our greatest fear, and that is sadness.

LAUREN: And it’s important that we face our pasts, too. The story of the Schlechts is not always a happy one, but we must make amends for the wrongs of history.

KEVIN: [dubious] Of course.

LAUREN: Because to ignore our past is to destroy our future. I hope you don’t have anything in your past that you’ve not atoned for, Kevin."

This.

"KEVIN: [knows she means him] No. I’m good."

Him? Who's him? Kevin? Charles? Carlos? Donovan? Cecil? Something happened since we saw Kevin last.

Also: The weather. The line about sitting and seeing the town you built together? Kevin and Carlos after having built Dow. The whole song, very Kevin and Carlos vibes.

Kevin's general uncomfortableness around Lauren. Compared to how we've heard him act before, Kevin in general seemed nervous, very much unlike his past self. He seems to be moving towards the third era of triptych.

Will analyze this all more probably wednesday/thursday, my phone is dying and i have halloween shit to do tomorrow.

THE BOY IS BACK!!!!!!!

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

And it's shit like this that makes Bethy not want to be around him.

We're poor and homeless and not only was Dave secretly planning to go to a car show event with money that isn't his to spend, but he's been getting scammed into giving money to women he's cheating with. Bethy blew the whistle on him cuz he screamed at her in the van while they were supposed to be out shopping with the $20 we have left for food until July.

btw 'Brownie' is the dog that died... because Dave didn't want to take him to the vet. We had finally gotten insurance for him, and Dave didn't want to take any time out of his not-busy schedule(he had so much free time all the time back then) to take the dog in whenever he wasn't well. So, Brownie just got sick in one way or another and it piled on until he lost all energy and kept vomiting all the time.

Dave thought they'd put him down for being too sick, like they did to the last cat we had when we finally brought him in(he had a brain tumor that caused his deafness and blindness and it was too big to remove safely, so they made the decision to end his suffering). Dave is especially pissy cuz mom and I were very vocal about getting the dog help and how Dave was putting his feelings above Brownie's comfort. Well, Brownie's pain was so bad he couldn't force himself to eat for over a week and finally ended up crawling onto mom's bed and dying on her lap with a weak cough.

I haven't let Dave forget that his inaction resulted in that dog's pain getting worse and worse and that's he's selfish. And he's pulled the 'wishing he died with Brownie' thing many times before and was extra pissed when I told him, 'some of us wish you did when you act like this'. He's been acting this way for over a decade, by punching himself and screaming about wanting to die when held accountable for his actions, and his son picked it up and also does it whenever he gets in trouble for being a dick, so people will stop criticizing him. Now both of them are shocked that Dave's Autistic granddaughter now hits herself and screams the moment she's in trouble, so people will stop trying to punish her(and the moment they stop, she stops too). Neither wants to acknowledge where she gets it from.

This is what we have to deal with... because we need the extra help from his unfaithful ass. Nothing hurts the pride more than having to rely on an unreliable person because what's left of your living family couldn't be trusted to help you with anything in life.