#i was like. aw shit i gave her a new fear

[baccan0pe]

.

[stevie-petey]

episode one: MADMAX

Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.  “I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.  It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything. 

Summary: what does steve fear more ? you or the plague ? currently it's you, some guy with an awful mullet stares you down in the parking lot (gross), nancy invites you to a party from your nightmares, and you become an official unlicensed therapist for will. yay for junior year !

Rating: general, slight cursing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, descriptions of PTSD (slightly), swearing, and general angst and exhaustion

Words: 5.2k

Before you swing in: hello ! welcome back to the rewrite, hope yall are well :) heres chapter 1 of season 2 !!! so so so excited and ready to dive into this new season. things get a bit darker, feelings get even MORE complicated, and poor reader just really needs to take a fat nap and maybe some reassuring words. shes more angsty this season, so buckle up

-

October 29th, 1984

You originally gave Dustin the phone number to Bookstrordinary in case of any emergencies.

Now, you’re really starting to regret it.

For the fifth time this week, Dustin calls you at work to beg for money. Him and the boys recently started going to an arcade that’s opened up in town and have spent practically every day after school there this year. Sure, you don’t mind loaning your brother a few quarters, but at the rate he’s going he’s gonna drain your next paycheck.

Just as you’re thinking this, the phone rings.

Right on cue.

Alex, your coworker, smirks. “How much do you think he’ll ask for this time?”

“If I’m lucky, only a dollar.”

“Will asked me for three tonight, so I wouldn’t jinx anything.”

You gape at Jonathan, who has started hanging around your job after school just to have something to do. “No fucking way.”

“Way,” he laughs, pointing towards the phone on the counter. “Answer before Dustin sends a drone our way.”

You sigh and pick up the phone, which is on its second round of calling, and put on your best customer service voice. “You’ve reached Bookstrordinary, may I ask who is calling?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”

“Aw, I’m doing well tonight. Thanks for asking, Dustin.”

“I need five dollars.”

“Ya know, ‘please’ has such a nice ring to it.”

“... if I say please, will you give me the money?”

“No.”

Silence fills the other end. Alex and Jonathan are hunched together, trying to stifle their laughs. You send them a thumbs up, and they give you one back.

“You’re a horrible sister.”

“What!” You scoff at Dustin. “I think you owe me like, at least ten bucks now. Yet you don’t see me complaining.”

A loud groan, then an obnoxious scream. “I promise I’ll clean Mews’ litter box for a week straight if you just give me the money.”

“Tempting, and honestly I’d take you up on that offer, but I already spent my last paycheck on my Halloween costume. You’re outta luck.”

Dustin gasps. “You were gonna say no this whole time? You just wasted like, at least five minutes of my time! I could’ve been digging through the couch for coins by now!”

“Jesus,” you pull the phone away from your face as Dustin continues to shout. Jonathan lets out a loud cackle and Alex just shakes his head. “I can give you some money next week–”

The line cuts off. Dustin has hung up.

What a little shit.

“You remind me why I’m grateful I’m an only child.” Alex says, now walking from behind the counter to begin stacking some books. Technically your shift ended almost thirty minutes ago, but you and Jonathan prefer to hang around for a while. It’s rare to have some time with just the two of you (even if Alex is there as an unfortunate third wheel).

“Glad I can help.” You respond. Once he’s gone, you turn to Jonathan. “And you were right, Dustin indeed wanted more than Will’s measly three bucks.”

He laughs. “Figured as much. The look on your face was genuine disbelief when he asked.”

“Mhm, I’m scared these boys will turn into horrendous teens. The lack of gentlemen in Hawkins these days is astounding.”

“C’mon, I’d say I’m a gentleman. I mean, I’m riding on your bike pegs tonight to keep you safe.” Jonathan says, waving an arm in front of his body as if to present all his gentleman-ness to you.

“Sure, bee.” Although, he has a point. Joyce has the car tonight so she can drive Will to the arcade and Jonathan doesn’t like you biking home in the dark. After what happened last year, none of the Byers are particularly keen on letting their loved ones go off alone at night. So, to ensure your safety, Jonathan has started riding on your bike pegs all the way home.

It’s endearing really, wholly unnecessary, but endearing.

Jonathan flicks your nose. “Who else would be such a gentleman to you? Steve?”

Hearing Steve’s name sends a wave of varying emotions through you. Guilt, shame, remorse, longing. You miss him. You really, really miss him.

“I thought we agreed to stop talking about Steve.” You mumble, now busying yourself with a piece of paper on the counter.

After Will was found last year, you and Steve had gotten really close. He’d spend hours bugging you at work, he’d gotten you such a lovely Christmas gift that still hangs on your wall, and you’d grown close with him in a way you haven’t before with anyone else. He would’ve done anything for you, he cared about you with such genuineness, and you couldn’t handle it.

Summer came and the heat that came with it scared you.

You’d pushed Steve away, severed any connection you had to him. It was easier when you didn’t have to see him every day at school, but ever since junior year started, you’ve been in your own personal hell.

Steve walks past you in the halls without batting an eye. He doesn’t look your way, like the months you spent learning every inch of his wonderfully unique brain and the moles scattered along his face never happened; he doesn’t give you that smile that makes your knees weak. He’s avoided you like the fucking plague, which you can’t blame him for, but it’s only made things more awkward between him, Jonathan, Nancy, and you.

Jonathan sighs. “I’m sorry, bug. I just… he seemed good for you, ya know? I was actually starting to like the guy before you suddenly stopped hanging around him.”

You play with the piece of paper, hoping that if you don’t respond then Jonathan will just drop the subject, but a thought seems to cross his mind.

“Wait a minute. Steve didn’t like, hurt you or anything, right?” You don’t respond again and now he’s starting to get worried. “Y/N, I’m serious. Did he do something to you?”

The irony of the situation is so comical you want to laugh. Here Jonathan is, demanding to know if Steve hurt you and if that’s why you’ve stopped being his friend, when in reality it’d been Jonathan who hurt you. Jonathan, your oldest and dearest friend, is the reason you’re so fucking terrified of letting Steve in. Of falling in love with him.

You’re already in love with Jonathan, you can’t put yourself through any more hurt.

But fuck, you miss Steve. You’d come to rely on him and his obnoxious sense of humor that never failed to make you laugh. The way he so effortlessly filled the room with warmth.

“Relax, bee. He didn’t do anything. I just wanted to focus on Will and the boys more.” You lie through your teeth.

He gives you a funny look. “I know you care about the boys, but you know they’d want you to have some other friends.”

“I have you, that’s all I need.”

It’s all I can afford.

“Bug, I’m worried about you. You’ve all but thrown yourself into school, you work non stop here, and when you finally have some free time you’re spending it researching child psych for Will–”

“Just drop it, Jonathan!” You finally snap at your friend.

He stops, surprised by your outburst. He can see the angry flush in your cheeks now and the slight heavy breathing you do to try and calm yourself down. Jonathan drops his shoulders, defeated. He’s been worried about you ever since junior year started. You’re more withdrawn, you look like you haven’t slept at all, and now you don’t even feel comfortable telling him what’s been bothering you.

All Jonathan knows is that one day you were glowing while telling him a story about Steve and his stupid jokes, then the next day you looked frail and sickly as you told him that Steve was no longer visiting you at work.

Something happened between you two, he’s just not sure what or how to even help.

For once, Jonathan is at a loss.

–

“And then she chased Mike all the way down the street for her money! He got away!” Jonathan finishes his story with a grand flourish, laughing and hitting his steering wheel as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

You let out a weak laugh, exhausted from the night before. It’s early morning and you’re in the school parking lot, hanging in Jonathan’s car as always, and you feel like utter shit. You stayed up late last night reading this journal you’d found in the school library about acute trauma in children. It had been fascinating and there were some things you thought could apply to Will. Before you knew it, it had been three in the morning and you needed to be up soon for school.

Which leads you to now: slouched in the passenger seat, sunglasses over your eyes to block out the annoying sun, tiredly listening to Jonathan’s recounting of his phone call with Nancy from last night. Apparently they’ve progressed to nightly phone calls now.

Lovely.

Without meaning to, your eyes start to drift shut. The car is the perfect cozy kind of warm and the late October air wraps around you as if to lull you to sleep. Jonathan notices you’ve gone quiet and pokes your cheek.

“If you fell asleep I’ll tell your mom and she’ll put you back on house arrest.”

You slap his hand away. “Don’t do that, then she’ll just ban me from your house.”

“You were up all night researching again, weren’t you.”

“If you have to ask, then that’s probably your answer.”

“Y/N–”

You put a finger up, using your other hand to rub at your temples. A headache is forming and you’re three seconds away from just skipping first period to nap in the car. “We aren’t doing this again. Drop it.”

Jonathan rolls his eyes. “I’m your best friend, it’s my job to worry about you–”

“And it’s my job to tell you to fuck off whenever you’re getting on my nerves–”

Suddenly a loud blue camaro comes speeding into the school parking lot, effectively drowning out whatever you’d been saying to Jonathan. The car revs its engine and almost hits a few students as it jerks its tires and then screeches to a halt, parking right next to you guys.

You and Jonathan look at each other.

“What the fuck?” You look out your window and are greeted with the sight of an attractive blond guy staring at you. His music is blasting so loud you can hear it through Jonathan’s windows.

“Jonathan,” you whisper, getting his attention. “Am I really tired or is there a guy with a god awful mullet staring at me right now?”

“He’s real.”

“Cool.” You continue to stare at the guy, unsure what to do. You’ve never seen him before, there’s no way you’d forget a face like that in Hawkins. He’s attractive, almost unappealingly attractive, and there’s a coldness to his beauty that makes you uncomfortable. He looks dangerous, like he knows how much power his beauty brings him.

The boy winks at you, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth, and then gets out of the car, slamming his door rather harshly. It’s then that you notice the redhead girl, much younger than him, possibly around Dustin’s age, getting out of the car as well. She slams her own door and doesn’t even spare the guy a glance as she drops her skateboard down and rides towards the middle school across the parking lot.

Meanwhile the boy saunters inside, a lazy pace in his step that also holds immense confidence. He’s cocky, cool and collected, and he takes one last look around, as if to survey his new claimed battleground. You notice a few of your classmates gazing at him with interest, which you don’t really understand. He’s hot, but his attitude alone tells you everything you need to know about him.

Once he’s gone, Jonathan finally speaks. “Who was that guy?”

“No clue,” your eyes linger on the doors he’s just walked through. There’s something off about him. “But I don’t think we want to know… C’mon, if we don’t head in now we’ll be late for our first class.”

–

During your lunch period everyone’s buzzing about some upcoming Halloween party. As you’re walking towards your locker with Jonathan, you notice a few pieces of orange paper being passed around. You don’t pay much attention to them, but when Nancy joins you two she eagerly takes a few from the girl passing them out.

Nancy playfully shoves the papers at you and Jonathan. “You guys are totally coming to this.”

“We are?” You ask, eyeing the flyer wearily. You have nothing against parties, but the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of drunk teenagers in horrible costumes is frankly terrifying to you.

“You sure are, Y/N.”

“But Nancy–”

“‘Come and get sheet faced’.” Jonathan reads aloud. “Yeah, Nance. I think we’ll pass.”

Nancy groans. “I can’t let you guys sit all alone on Halloween. That’s just not acceptable.”

“Actually,” you correct her, annoyed by the assumption, “we have a tradition with the boys. We take them out every year to trick or treat and it’s always been fun. We won’t be ‘alone’.”

“No offense, Y/N, but spending Halloween with a bunch of middle schoolers isn’t much better.”

You make a face and look over at Jonathan for help, but he shrugs. “You gotta admit, it is kinda lame.”

“I can’t believe you’d betray me like this–”

Nancy smiles at this. “See? Plus, I doubt trick or treating with the boys will take all night. You’ll be home by 8:00, and Jonathan will be listening to the Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut or something, while you, my dear Y/N, will be baking a fresh batch of cookies and throwing away all the candy corn you find.”

“Sounds like a nice night.” Jonathan responds, and you nudge your shoulder with his. It does sound like a nice night, one you’re looking forward to.

“I forgive you for your earlier betrayal.”

“Guys!” Nancy stops at her locker now, slight frustration in her voice. “Just… Come on! I mean, who knows? You guys might meet someone and–”

Her words are cut off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted in the air and spun around, Steve having snuck up behind her. Nancy now puts all her attention on him, he has his arms wrapped low on her waist and he’s wearing sunglasses inside like some idiot, and your heart hurts. He looks good, too good.

Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.

“I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.

It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything.

Steve, as if sensing what you’re thinking, risks a look at you. Your eyes meet his and for a brief second no one else exists anymore. It’s just you and him in the small Hawkins high school hallway, where he’s yours again in a way that’s clouded with “almost” and “not enough”, and you want to tell him how lovely he is and how horrible you feel for hurting him, but then he diverts his gaze and focuses back on Nancy and you’re thrown back into reality.

He isn’t yours. Hell, he isn’t even your friend anymore, and you’re the one to blame.

Once Nancy and Steve start kissing, you share a disgusted look with Jonathan and silently agree to leave.

“Young love, huh?” Jonathan jokes bitterly when you’ve left them behind.

“I hate it.”

And you do.

You’re really starting to hate this whole “love” thing.

–

The only highlight so far this school year has been you and Will growing even closer. When Jonathan told you that Will started seeing the Hawkins Lab people for treatment and to see how he’s been recovering, you pulled Joyce aside later that night to ask if it’d be okay if you spoke with Will yourself. Since everything that happened last year, you’ve only become more interested in psychology, and you’d be lying if you said Will wasn’t an interesting case study.

You told Joyce that you’d been doing your own research, reading journals upon journals, and she made you a deal. You could help Will as long as you also took care of yourself, that you wouldn’t place an even heavier burden upon yourself. Of course you agreed, promising her you wouldn’t, and that’s how your weekly chats with Will began.

Jonathan had been against it at first, telling you that you didn’t have to worry about Will because you already do everything else for the kids. You told him you could handle it, and secretly you liked helping Will because you were able to pour all your anxiety and complex feelings for Steve into research and studying. It was a win-win in your eyes.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Waters had been extremely understanding when you asked for Wednesdays off. After all, you’d been working at Bookstrordinary for almost three years now, so she was quick to make the accommodation.

Now here you are, another Wednesday spent at the Byers’ home. You’re sitting with Will in his bed, the both of you quietly scribbling with his crayons. You’ve learned that he’s more receptive if you draw with him, if you take your time.

“How was Dr. Owens today?”

Will pauses mid-scribble. “Fine.”

“Just ‘fine’? Nothing else?” Your head is down so he doesn’t think you’re studying his reactions, but you keep an eye on him anyways.

“Yeah. I told him about my latest episode.”

“You had another one? Would you like to tell me when?”

Will thinks for a moment, and you tell him that he of course doesn’t have to say anything if he doesn’t want to.

“Last night. I was back in the Upside Down… and there was this… this thing.”

Now you stop drawing. “Like the monster we killed last year?”

“Different,” he shakes his head. “This thing was evil.”

Will’s eyes are darting everywhere around the room, and you can see his growing unease, so you decide to put the topic to rest for now. Clearly the episodes are getting worse, scaring him more, so you shift gears.

“Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry for the episodes, but besides them how have you been feeling? Is school getting any better?” Earlier this month Will had confessed to you about the kids in school calling him “zombie boy” and treating him like a freak. You did your best to comfort him, and once you finished your chat with the boy you’d gone to Joyce to let her know.

Will sighs. “School is… school.”

You reach out and move some hair out of Will’s face. “I’m sorry, little bee. Middle schoolers are idiots, they’ll never understand how much you went through. I mean, I had to face that monster for only about twenty minutes. You had to hide from it for days, so you’re honestly incredibly braver than me.”

This gets a smile out of Will, which you’re relieved by. He’s been quiet lately, more closed off, and you’re worried that with the one year anniversary coming up, his episodes will only get worse.

A knock on the door, and then Jonathan pokes his head in. “Hey, guys. Mind if I join?”

“Actually, I think I should go. Bob’s been begging me for my cookie recipe, so I’ll leave you two alone.” You send a look Will’s way, a you better talk to your brother about this look, and he weakly nods his head.

As you walk past Jonathan out the door, you lean in close to Jonathan and whisper, “he’s struggling at school. Be gentle, kids can be fucking awful.”

He nods and squeezes your hand, silently thanking you, and you close the door behind you. While you want to help Will, make sure he’s adapting well, you also recognize your limits. He’s not your brother, Jonathan is, and you know he’ll be more open with him.

Joyce is in the kitchen with Bob, making some popcorn over the stove. He’s filming her with his ridiculously large camera and you can’t help but smile as you watch them. Joyce looks so happy around the guy, laughing more than she’s laughed in the last five or so years you’ve known her. She deserves this, she deserves a guy like Bob. Sweet, slightly silly, but good.

When Joyce sees you lingering in the doorway, she waves you in. “Hey, honey. Any luck with Will tonight?”

“A bit, he told me some of what’s happening at school. He still seems… off, but at least he was opening up. It’s a good sign.”

Joyce hums, but you can sense that there’s more on her mind. You look around to make sure Bob isn’t near, he’s busy digging through a cabinet to find a clean bowl, so you move closer to the woman and lower your voice. “What did Dr. Owens say this time?”

“Claims we need to just pretend everything is okay, despite the fact that it’s getting worse.”

There’s an edge in Joyce’s voice, so you’re careful with your words. “Well… I think he’s right.”

“You do?” Joyce turns to you, her voice loud with surprise, before she quickly remembers Bob is near and lowers it again. “Why do you think that?”

“I was up late reading a new journal I found about acute trauma in children. It’s been almost a year since Will disappeared, he spent days in complete fear, almost died… I mean, it makes sense that his body is remembering those traumatic effects.”

“So you think we should just leave Will alone, let him suffer through his episodes without any help?” There’s more confusion and fear than anger in Joyce’s voice, and you rest your hand against her arm.

“I know it seems counterintuitive, but the best studies we have all show that we have to let those who suffer from post-traumatic stress adapt at their own pace, through their own ways. They hate feeling pitied, and I have a feeling Will is starting to as well.”

Joyce turns the stove off and shakes her head at you. “You sound like Hop. I thought you hated the guy.”

“I don’t hate him,” you chuckle, now helping the woman peel off the foil and sprinkle some salt onto the popcorn. “He just reminds me too much of my dad, and we all know how that ends.”

“Well if you ask me, I think it’s because you two are so similar.”

You gasp. “How dare you!”

Joyce laughs and the seriousness from the previous conversation dissipates. Bob finds a clean bowl and together you and him pour the fresh popcorn in as Joyce prepares the drinks. They’re having a movie night together, and you want to cry because of how adorable it all is. Joyce deserves this.

“You know you’re welcome to join us tonight, Y/N. It’s Will’s turn to choose the movie.” Joyce tells you, but you politely decline.

“Normally I’d love to, but I should get going. I have some homework and I promised Dustin I’d bake him some Halloween treats.”

“Oh!” Bob turns to you. “Speaking of, you promised you’d give me that recipe of yours!”

You and Joyce share an amused look. “You caught me, I did. I’ll write it down right now and you have to swear that no one else will look at this. Deal?”

Bob nods, ecstatic, and you grab a piece of paper and quickly scribble down all the ingredients he’ll need and how to make the cookies. Joyce watches fondly, and you fill with warmth having pleased her. When you’re done, you hand the paper over to Bob and make him cross his heart, just to be extra sure he won’t reveal all your secrets.

“Scout’s honor!”

“Very good then, soldier.” You salute him, and then pull Joyce into a hug. “I really gotta go now. Can you tell Jonathan I said goodbye?”

“Of course, bike home safe, alright?”

You wink at her. “Scout’s honor.”

Bob lets out a loud cackle and you can’t believe that this guy is real, but Joyce is laughing along with him and you’re pleased she’s found someone as endearing and kind as him.

–

As soon as you get home you throw down your backpack and bunker down at the kitchen table. Your mom isn’t back from work yet and Dustin seems to be off somewhere doing god knows what, so it’s just you and Mews for now.

Mews plops herself on the table next to an essay you’ve been working on and you scratch her head as you work. You get lost in your writing, humming softly to yourself, enjoying this small moment of peace.

You won’t admit this to Jonathan, but he’s right. You’ve been overworking yourself, your body aches and your eyes droop with exhaustion almost every day now. But keeping yourself busy is what’s helping you stay afloat. The more you pile onto yourself, the less time you have to think about Steve and his stupid smile and stupid hair and stupid face.

In the middle of one of your sentences, Dustin flings the front door open and scares you. “Jesus, dude!”

He doesn’t spare you a glance, but when he sees Mews on the table with you he suddenly looks a bit alarmed. “Mews is here?”

“Yeah…? She’s helping me with this english essay.” You respond, confused.

“Huh,” Dustin thinks for a second, but seems to shrug it off. “Anyways, I’m home.”

“I can see that.”

“Are you gonna ask about my day?”

“How was your day, my dear brother.”

Dustin hops onto the table and shimmies his shoulders. “I met a girl.”

“What?” You drop your pencil in shock and Mews scatters, your exclaim having frightened her.

“Don’t act too surprised, geesh.” Your brother rolls his eyes, but then he frowns. “Actually, technically speaking I haven’t met her yet, but–”

“You have a crush?” You’re in shock. In your eyes, Dustin is still a baby, no older than six years old. And yet here is he, thirteen and talking to you about a girl.

“Yes, Y/N. Her name is Max, she has red hair and is new, and she’s totally awesome.”

Red hair? You remember seeing that girl in the parking lot earlier today. “Was she with that weird new guy, the one with a mullet?”

Dustin nods, so you poke him in the stomach and ooh at him. “I saw her this morning, she was prettyyyy.”

He shoves your finger away and blushes, which you find adorable. Dustin’s first ever crush, you can’t believe how old he is now.

“Yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s also just awesome. I think she’s the one with the new high score on Dig Dug.”

“Dig Dug?”

Your brother scoffs. “The arcade game the party always plays? Honestly, do you not listen when I tell you about my days?”

“Alright, fine. If you can remember what I told you I did yesterday, then I’ll apologize for not listening better.”

Dustin closes his mouth, unable to recall a thing.

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” You flick his hat. “Anyways, since you officially like girls now, I’ve been dying to give you some girl advice.”

“Y/N–” Dustin groans, but you shush him.

“First things first, always be a gentleman. Max does indeed seem cool, but I’m sure she’d appreciate a nice and polite young man like yourself.”

Dustin nods. “Okay, be kind. Got it.”

“Good. Now secondly, we Hendersons are charming people, so just be yourself.”

“Duh,”

“Lastly, if she shows interest, tell her how you feel. Better you’re honest and true about how you feel rather than hide it and sulk.”

Dustin snorts. “Says you.”

You look away from him, slightly hurt. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“C’mon, Y/N. When are you gonna tell Jonathan you love him? I mean, everyone knows you do, it’s about time you confess.” Dustin drones on, unaware of your hurt feelings. “And he’s obviously in love with you, you guys are disgusting to be around–”

“He doesn’t love me back.” You whisper, looking down at your paper. You feel pathetic, confessing this to your little brother.

Dustin freezes, now realizing you’ve gone quiet. He can feel your mood darken and he feels like shit for not noticing it sooner. He’s upset you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he did, I mean the party and I all assumed…”

His words fade off, and you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s embarrassing, you shouldn’t be pitied like this by your brother. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”

“Y/N–”

You get up from the table and gather your things, shoving them into your backpack. “I’m gonna finish up this essay in my room, then I promise I’ll start baking those marshmallow puffs you like–”

Dustin jumps down from the table and blocks you from leaving the kitchen. “Jonathan is an ass–”

“Language–”

He doesn’t let you interrupt. “You’re cool, he’s stupid, and I’m here for you. Alright? Don’t make me pull a code blue on you.”

You wrap your brother into your arms, something he hadn’t been expecting, and allow yourself a small laugh. “No need for a code blue, I promise. Just, give me like an hour to sulk and then I’ll be as good as new. Okay?”

When you pull away, Dustin eyes you, but understands he won’t win this argument. The two of you handle your emotions the same way: alone, in solitude, away from prying eyes. He knows you just need some time to yourself, but he still feels like a jerk for upsetting you in the first place. “Fine, but if you’re sulking later I’ll flick your nose.”

You flick his nose and then quickly flee to your room, Dustin not far behind you. “Flicked you first!”

“Not fair!”

You slam your bedroom door and giggle as you lock it. Dustin bangs on the door, but you can hear the amusement in his voice. You tell him you’ll be out as soon as you’re done with your essay, and then go and sit down at your desk. Sighing, you dig into your bag and pull out what you need. Without meaning to, you look up and see your Spider-Man poster, your wonderful Christmas gift from Steve, hanging in front of you.

The small joy you’d been feeling vanishes.

The poster stares back at you, you can almost hear it calling you a pathetic coward, and you feel guilt claw at your throat. You close your eyes, remembering the cold from that winter day, and you can almost smell the cologne Steve had been wearing when you’d thrown yourself into his warmth. Sometimes, if you sit still enough, you think you can feel the ghost of his embrace.

You open your eyes.

Steve isn’t here.

Of course he isn’t here.

You exhale, feeling the familiar ache and exhaustion within you; junior year is looking quite grim.

-

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[dilfl0v3rss]

Tattoo artist Connie and ony??? This is y/n first tattoo and they’re real nervous so con and ony gotta help them relax 🤭

might end up tattooing their name on that pus- nvm…

i love love love thisssss😩

first ink

cw: needles, smuttt

word count: 2.4k

never in your life did you plan on getting a tattoo. it was too scary and you absolutely hated needles. if your mom didn’t get it done when you were a baby, you doubt you would’ve even had your ears pierced. you were getting older though, and the sight of the pretty art of your friend’s bodies swayed your judgement. you became very infatuated with them, always running your fingers along them when they were with you.

“girl just go get one. tired of you caressing my stomach like i’m pregnant or sum” sasha sighed, rolling her eyes as you laughed. “sorryyyy. it’s just so pretty” your friend put her hand on top of yours, squeezing it as she looked deep into your eyes. “i love you so ima touch your hand as i say this. you need to stop being pussy and get some ink. you look like a child.” you rolled your eyes, yanking your hand from under hers as she laughed at you. that was your last straw. you told her that day that you will finally get a tattoo, making her jump for joy as she called up two of the best artists she knew.

as the two of you walked in the shop your eyes instantly met the light brown orbs of a tall man. “buenos tardes ladies. what can i do f’yo-…oh hey sash” the man came across the counter he was standing at, giving sasha a side hug before outreaching his hand towards you. “hola mami, my name’s connie. you must be y/n” he gave you a kind smile, his gold grills shining in the light before he gave you a light peck on your hand. “boy move she here for some ink, not a pregnancy scare” connie rolled his eyes, lifting his hands in surrender before walking deeper into the shop. thats when another man came out from the curtain in the back.

“wasgood sash” the man said as he walked towards his booth before sitting in the spacious chair. “this her?” he mumbled. sasha pushed you up towards them. you haven’t said a word since you got here. too in awe at the beauty of these too men. “don’t talk much do she?” connie chuckled as him and ony continued to look you over. sasha knew how you got when you met new people so she didn’t try to push you to speak. instead she wrapped her arm around you while she did the talking. “this my girl right here. she never got any shit done before other than the piercings in her ears and that was when she was a baby so i need y’all t’be real delicate with her ‘kay?”

ony and connie shared a look, eyes widening as they realized that sasha was telling the truth. there wasn’t a single thing on your body other than your small stud earrings in your ears. “yea we gotchu. come sit while i set up.” ony said, getting up from the chair to let you sit down. the sound of sasha’s phone ringing brought your attention to her. “what….girl call your mother….ughhh why i gotta do it?…whatever whatever bye” you gave her a confused look as she carried an annoyed look her her face. “i gotta get my cousin from summer school, her bad ass. i’ll be back right after i take her home ‘kay?” you gave her a wide eyed look, her cousin lived almost an hour and a half from where you were. your fear was clearly showing on your face. you couldn’t get a tattoo alone.

as if reading your mind sasha gave you a tight hug whispering in your ear. “girl i’ll be right backkkk. don’t be scared. jus breathe and focus on something else, you’ll be fine” with that she gave the two men behind you stern looks, pointing her acrylic finger at them as she spoke. “behave yourselves. it’s her first time” ony and connie both gave her quick nods before she went out the door. as ony set up his stuff you slowly sat down in the chair waiting for him. “so it’s your first time huh ma?” he said, noticing your nervousness as he looked up at your pretty face. “mhm”. your response made him chuckle as he got up from his seat next to you. “what you gettin and where you want it”

you showed him your desired tattoo, making his eyes widen as he looked at the photo. “you sure?” sasha told you that this was an easy spot so you listened to her, nodding your head quickly as a reply. ony gave you a small smile before turning towards connie, who was in one of the other chairs scrolling on his phone. “baby turn some music on. it’s quiet at hell in here”.

baby? you turned your head towards ony’s face, your quizzical look making him chuckle. “sasha ain’t tell you?” you shook your head. “of course she didn’t” before ony could speak again, the sound of psa by kay flock started to play. making ony and connie rap along to the lyrics as they continued on with what they were doing. “so what you getting mami? a butterfly?” connie asked, inked hand rubbing on his boyfriends durag covered head. “she getting a thigh tat, cute lil sun” connie nodded his head as he listened, looking at your legging covered thighs. “well y’know you gotta lose those right?” he said, pointing to the fabric. you had totally forgot, eyes widening as you internally sighed. today was not your day.

“i mean…we don’t mind, could close up the blinds and lock the doors so it can seem like we closed right now. since sasha won’t be back for awhile and ion want you just sitting here waiting f’her” you thought about his words. they seemed like nice, respectful guys. and if sasha trusts them then you knew they wouldn’t do you wrong. “okay” your soft voice made the both of their heads turn to you, making you shy away and put your gaze on your lap. “so she does speak” they both say.

~about an hour later~

“listen mama, if you don’t calm down i can’t get started. i can’t tattoo you while you shaking like this” ony said softly as he watched you twitch away from the needle for the fifth time. you had no problem taking your pants off and letting them put the stencil on you, but as soon as you heard the machine start you couldn’t get it together. “he’s right mami, y’gotta relax for us ‘kay. we not gon hurt you”

you were trying, you really were, but your body just wouldn’t relax. and you weren’t helping them either, ony was ready to pass out from the sight of your ass making your thong practically disappear. and connie was trying his hardest to make his hard on as least noticeable as possible at the sight of your teary eyes staring up at him. your pretty hands gripping his tightly as you tried your best to be calm.

“what we gotta do t’help you relax huh? you want a snack?” connie asked, smiling softly at you as you nodded your head eagerly. ony got up from his seat behind you, walking towards the back to grab you some fruit snacks. “sit up and eat em. ion want you choking or nun” he said as he passed you the packet and walked back behind the curtains. you sat up on your knees as you tried your best to open it, but your hands were too sweaty from how nervous you were. connie saw you struggling so he helped, looking down at your pretty eyes as he slowly opened it. you didn’t even notice, too focused on his pretty light brown eyes as he slowly took a fruit snack from the packet.

on instinct you opened your mouth, not knowing what came over you as you slowly sucked on his finger after he put the small miniature orange in your mouth. “you want sum else t’help you relax mami?” you couldn’t help but nod your head yes. these men were fine, and you were desperate to relax. “pa c’mere! she said she need our help to relax” ony made his was to his boyfriends side, smirking down at you as he realized what he meant. “oh we can help you with that real good”

before you knew it you were laid back in the chair, this time with your back on the end of it as connie eagerly ate your pussy on one side, and ony fed you his long dick in your mouth on the other. “that’s right ma, keep suckin it jus like that. don’t you feel better? no more shakin and cryin” ony’s words went straight to your core, making your arousal increase as you began to leak onto connie’s face. “taste so good mama, you like when he talks t’you like that huh? talks to me like that too at home. y’wanna come home wit us baby?” you instantly replied with a “mhm”. the vibrations of your voice sending ony over the edge as he shot his thick ropes down your throat.

“shittt you suck me so well mama. you gon let connie make you feel good, gon let him fuck you?” as he spoke connie began lining himself up with your entrance, rubbing his inked hands all over your stomach as he waited for you to reply. “y-yes” you said in a small voice, turning the both of them on more as connie slowly sunk into you. the stinging stretch of his dick making you whine as you tightly gripped ony’s arm. “we know mama, s’okay we here” ony coo’d at you, helping you relax as he gave connie the signal to speed up. before then he was pounding you into the chair, long light brown dick pulling loud moans and cries from you as ony stood behind him, whispering dirty words in his ear as he’d occasionally kiss up and down his boyfriends neck. his eyes never left yours as he did this, controlling the tempo of connie’s thrusts without having to lift a finger.

“there you go pretty boy. makin her feel so good” connie’s eyes were closed as he focused on the words of the man behind him. “i wanna cum in her” he whined as ony gave you a small smirk. he knew the sight of them was driving you crazy so to pleasure you further he slowly gripped connie’s neck, turning his head towards his to give him a sloppy kiss. your pussy clenched at the sight, making connie whimper into ony’s mouth as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. “m’finna cum, you want papi t’cum in you mami?” his deep voice rang in your ears, pushing your release closer as you moaned out at loud “yes”

with that connie spilled his seed deep into you, his thrusts halting to a stop as he made sure to keep you full of him. you watched ony whisper something in his here, making connie slowly pull out of you before ony took his place. “gonna make me feel good too now, that okay baby?” you quickly nodded your head yes, but he wanted more. ony teased you, rubbing his tip all over your wet clit to make you whine. “let daddy hear that pretty voice. want y’to talk me through it like i did connie” connie helped you up as ony spoke, kissing your neck as his boyfriend waited patiently in between your legs. “listen t’him mami. or he won’t give you what you want” your brain was clouded with pure lust right now as you finally replied to the man in front of you. “want you t-to fuck me”

“that’s a good girl”

~a couple hours later~

“alright all done pretty girl” ony chirped as he began to wipe the last bit of ink off your freshly done tattoo. “she’s still asleep” connie chuckled out as he sat in the chair with your pantsless body on his chest. as soon as they finished fucking you, you fell asleep so they woke you up to ask you if you still wanted the tattoo and you said yes, and who were they to deny a pretty thing like you especially after you were so good for them.

as you stirred awake you noticed you were still in the chair, a warm blanket draped over your body. you went to get up, but were stopped by a little stinging pain in your leg. “she’s up pa” connie said as he watched you from one of the couches in the waiting area, a bag of chips in his hand as he watched his show. “heyy pretty girl, we ain’t wanna wake you so we just put the blanket on t'keep you from getting cold. want some water?” you eagerly nodded your head yes as you reached for the water bottle in ony’s hand. before you got to grab it he pulled it back towards him. “lemme hear that pretty voice baby” a shy smile planted onto your face as you looked up at him. “can i have some?” a smile spread to ony’s face as well, his big inked hand transferring the bottle into your much smaller one. “good girl”

as you drank the water, connie made his way towards the two of you, a small smirk on his lips as he looked down at you next to ony. “you not gon look at your new ink?” he said. you had honestly forgot, but excitement bloomed in your stomach as you slowly moved the blanket from your thigh. there sat the beautiful sun you asked for, prettily wrapped up along with something else you didn’t see in the picture. there sat an infinity symbol in the middle of the sun with two letters in the spaces. an o and a c.

“you said you wanted t’come home wit us right? if you gon be ours you gotta rep us.” connie said before him and ony pulled up their shirts, the same infinity symbol showing on their sides with each others initials and yours in the spaces. your mouth dropped to the floor at the sight of the pretty tattoos, stomach doing flips in excitement as you realized what you had gotten yourself into.

“you ours now mama”

[brokenmenswhore]

betrothals & brothels | aegon, aemond, & jace

part 4

pairings: aegon targaryen x stark fem!reader, aemond targaryen x stark fem!reader, jacaerys velaryon x stark fem!reader

series summary: aemond targaryen tells the realm that you, the lady of house stark, are to wed him and secure a partnership in the north. in protest, you agree to marry jacaerys velaryon, affirming the north’s allegiance to rhaenyra. when the news hits king’s landing, aegon decides it’s better to have you under his watchful eye until the political partnership is solidified, but doesn’t realize you have a life away from your duty as a stark

chapter warnings: smut!! (MDNI 18+), slapping (non-sexual, brief)

a/n: alright y’all, i think i’m gonna make this thing 6 parts? i’m really shit at writing ongoing fics because i never know how to wrap ‘em up but i storyboarded it i’m thinking we’re halfway through riiiight NOW

series masterlist

────── ☾ ──────

“Seven hells, are you alright?” the Madam asked, “you look like hell.”

You scanned the room, only calming down when you were sure there were no recognizable faces, specifically Targaryens, in the vicinity.

“I was just locked in a dungeon cell, thank you for asking,” you responded, making it clear that your annoyance was at your predicament, not at her.

“A dungeon?”

“His Grace does not favor my sharp tongue.”

The Madam’s eyes widened. “My Lady, do you mean to tell me you are in trouble with His Grace King Aegon?”

You mentally cursed. You wholly forgot that this woman had no idea of your reasoning for being in King’s Landing, having left any unnecessary piece of information out of your employment deal.

She saw your frustration, and decided not to pester the question further. “I suppose you would fancy something to calm the senses?”

You gave her a soft smile, accepting the cup the moment it was handed over to you. Taking one giant gulp of liquid courage, you said, “I need you to allow me to reside here for a while. I fear this may be the only place I’m safe.”

“I do feel obliged to tell you that I cannot guarantee His Grace never come here again. His brother, Prince Aemond, is a frequent visitor of this establishment. This may very well not be the safest place for you.”

You knew Aemond came here. You had followed him in here upon your first visitation. You also knew it couldn’t be too difficult to avoid him if you tried.

“Just a few nights, then,” you bargained, “until I find something more permanent.”

“Is the situation truly so urgent?” the Madam questioned in concern.

“May we speak in private?” you asked.

The Madam pulled you to a private room and closed the door. You explained the entirety of your situation, sure to leave in each and every gruesome detail that further proved how urgent this truly was. She listened in awe, unaware of all that had been happening in the Red Keep. She knew that Aemond, a frequent visitor of hers, had announced a betrothal, but Aemond had told her it was purely political, and to not ask any further questions on the matter. Therefore, the Madam never thought to ask who the proposal of marriage was intended for. The Stark name never raised any flags for the Madam, and she never thought anything of it.

The Madam agreed to let you rest in one of the typically unoccupied rooms toward the back of the brothel, in exchange for openness of your clientele. It still remained somewhat selective, the Madam not allowing anyone from the North near you, and of course, no Targaryen men.

You discarded the Targaryen gown the moment you were alone, happier with what was underneath. It was still quite a lot, covering most of your body, but its appearance did not strike one as wealthy.

✶

Any affection Aemond was beginning to hold for you was swiftly removed from his heart the moment he saw your cell unoccupied and the door swung open. He enjoyed a challenge, but even you were beginning to be too much for him. He was beginning to fancy you, and he was jealous of how you treated Jacaerys compared to how you treated him. He knew that, regardless of his emotions, you were the only person who made him feel like he met his match.

However, he was growing tired of the games. If you truly detested him so much, what was the point of all his efforts? He suspected why you asked him for access to the brothels; he had heard the rumors about you at night in the North. Was he truly ready to set his pride aside and marry a whore, even with a title?

He decided that while you may be his betrothed, you were no longer his responsibility. If you fought against this match, there was no point in him fighting for it. He was not even sure he truly wanted it anymore. The family certainly outgrew the need for it; the moment Aemond accepted that you truly had found a way out of your cell, he knew another northern alliance may be necessary. Houses Bolton, Mormont, and Glover had bent the knee to Aegon after a mere show of force from Aemond atop Vhagar. While none were quite as large or as powerful as House Stark, they would do well as northern allies.

Aemond chose to remain calm and collected and do his best to forget you and your attitude ever existed. Aegon, however, coped in other ways.

Aegon liked your quick wit. Though all you did was bicker, Aegon couldn’t help but remember his moment of vulnerability with you. You could have walked away, but you comforted him, despite being so adamant about hating him. He was mean to you because you were mean to him and it hurt his feelings, not because he truly did loathe you, despite what he had told you the very last time you two had spoken.

You were defensive, confident, outspoken- all the things Aegon truly wished in the depths of his heart that he could be, but knew deep down he wasn’t. Aegon desperately wanted to appear as confident and cocky, the smartest in the room, but most could see through the facade, including you. He hated how vulnerable you could make him feel. He loved how it felt when you saw that vulnerability, and chose kindness instead of cruelty. You were everything he wanted to be. You were everything he wanted.

Aegon was fueled by rage immediately after learning of your escape. He sent the King’s Guard through the streets of King’s Landing in search of you. He slammed his fists on tables and bellowed toward his brother, demanding to know where Aemond had taken you when he let you free, but Aemond would not confess, lest he leak his own private details.

The men of the King’s Guard were only employed as such due to their friendship with Aegon, and many had not actually seen you, and admittedly were not sure what you looked like.

Aegon, furious and drunk, had also made the mistake of describing you in the clothes they had provided at the time of your imprisonment, the thought that you may have taken the gown off never crossing his mind.

The men of the Guard had asked around a few brothels, but most became distracted and threw away their task in favor of a pretty girl. You were not nervous when you heard the clanging of armor, for you knew that most of these men couldn’t identity you with a name tag.

The King’s Guard was forced, after two days of searching the streets, to report to Aegon that they had no sign of you whatsoever. Aegon considered that you may have taken passage on a ship to Essos, perhaps somewhere further, but doubted that you would so easily forget Winterfell. He thought of flying there, but knew you had no way to get back home. He also thought you had no way of escaping the dungeons, and he had a consistent habit of underestimating you.

It had been nearly a full moon since Aegon and Aemond last saw you. Aemond refused to revoke your betrothal due to his own pride, at least until he could find a suitable alternative.

Aegon thought of you often, but tried to keep the thoughts at bay. He fought to not let it impact how he ruled, but his friends in the King’s Guard most certainly noticed the change in his demeanor.

They convinced him that he needed a proper night out, him and his best mates drowning in cups and whores, leaving their daily lives behind and choosing pleasure over pain for a night. Aegon agreed, knowing he truly needed to blow off steam.

His friends directed him through three brothels before landing on one, one of the men nearly deafening the room from the sound of his armor as he raised his arms and yelled for libations.

A woman brought a round for the men, taking a bow when she noticed The King. Aegon downed the drink with one swallow, slamming the cup down on the table as he said, “alright, let’s find someone.”

The men cheered, throwing their arms around Aegon’s shoulders as they directed him from room to room.

Aegon himself pushed back a curtain and stopped short, the shock of the sight rendering him unable to move.

You were standing tall, nearly naked, a man with curly brown hair knelt on the floor in front of you, his head between your legs and your hands in his hair.

You were used to people interrupting for a moment, in desperate search of an unoccupied room, so you didn’t even turn toward the sound. The man between your legs, however, pulled back and, upon seeing Aegon, knelt fully over on the floor, his hands out in front of him in a deep yoga-like bow.

You watched him in confusion before turning your head to see who he was pointed toward.

You were panting, skin slightly glistening from sweat, a tiny hint of shock that Aegon had never seen before in your eye.

Neither of you moved. Neither of you spoke. You just stood and stared at one another as the rest of the men in the vicinity noticed the tension and hastily cleared out.

Once you two were alone, you insisted on speaking first. “Your Grace,” you mimicked a curtsy, sarcasm coating your words.

Aegon took a deep breath, trying his hardest to collect himself. He was feeling a mixture of emotions: shock at the sight of you still in King’s Landing after nearly a full moon’s cycle, anger at you for escaping and running away, confusion at what you were doing fucking in a pleasure house, and most prominently, he was turned on at the sight of you.

“You’re still in King’s Landing,” was the best he could come up with.

“I’ve been trying to make arrangements back to Winterfell,” you said, picking up your small clothes from the floor and covering yourself as you spoke, “but unfortunately, the easiest route is via dragon, yet only a select few here have dragons, and I didn’t wish for them to know my whereabouts.”

“And now that they do?”

You sighed, finishing clothing your body with your small clothes and a robe as you stood tall once again. “I should hope I can count on their discretion.”

Aegon snickered, “and what makes you think you can? Did you forget what you did?”

“I only had to escape because you imprisoned me. Did you forget that?”

Silence filled the room. Aegon felt a bit bad for imprisoning you, and wasn’t sure where the conversation was headed. He instead changed the subject to what truly peaked his curiosity.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned.

You could lie. You could tell him anything that made even an inkling of sense, but you were living room-by-room in a brothel, no surefire way to get home, two men vying for your hand and only one honest, and you, quite honestly, had nothing to lose.

“I work here,” you shrugged as if the confession meant nothing.

Aegon laughed genuinely. He continued to laugh until he caught your gaze and noticed your features were stoic. “You’re not serious?”

“I know you’ve heard the whispers about me, Aegon, you cannot truly be so shocked.”

“You were going to wed my brother without your maidenhood? Was your plan to play pretend as if it hurt?”

“If you recall, I never had any intention of marrying your brother,” you retorted.

“Is this where he took you?” Aegon pressed further, the questions falling off his tongue the moment they popped into his head, his brain seemingly not able to keep up with the pacing of new questions appearing in his thoughts.

“The details of any time I spent with Aemond are none of your business.”

“They are, aren’t they?” he continued, finally taking a few steps closer to you, “did he take you here to fuck you? Did he want to ensure you could never truly belong to our little nephew?”

“No,” you scoffed. You did not owe him details. “He does not have my maidenhood, nor has he ever had me. I would hope you think higher of me.”

“You think you’re so strong, but I see right through you,” Aegon began, as close to you as he could be without physically touching you, “you and Aemond came here to fuck, and when you ran away, you came back here because it’s the only place you knew of. You were desperate for passage to Winterfell, and you needed coin to afford such a journey, hence the employment here.”

Aegon was confident in his accusation, which is what made it hilarious enough for you to audibly laugh.

“I truly wish you understood how ridiculously incorrect you are,” you said through laughs, your hand coming up to cover your mouth to hopefully mute the sound and cure Aegon of some of his embarrassment.

“Don’t laugh at me,” he spoke.

“You think I fucked your brother?” you continued, your laughter growing at the thought.

“Stop laughing at me,” he said again.

“You are so far off,” you could barely catch your breath, you were nearly leaning over from the intensity of the laugh in your stomach.

“I said don’t laugh at me!” he raised his voice, a hand coming to strike your face.

You immediately stopped, standing up straight in disbelief as your hand instinctively held the side of your face. He had hit you. All bets were off now. You did not care about striking a royal if he struck you first.

You moved to hit him back, but he quickly caught your wrists, anticipating the action. You were caught off guard, unaware he could move so swiftly. He swung your body around, slamming your back against the nearest wall, your wrists in his hands as they pressed against your chest.

You stared at each other in a moment of heat before he crashed his lips to yours. Your body took over your mind as you kissed him back, relishing in the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

All of the arguing, crying, shouting, and vitriol between the two of you had crescendoed up to this very release.

Aegon dropped your wrists and instead found your waist, grabbing the flesh there to pull you even closer to him as your hands found their way to the back of his head, fingers intertwining in his hair. He groaned into the kiss at the feeling, prompting you to pull even harder. Neither of you were gentle people, and now was not the time to try to be.

Aegon pulled one of your legs up to his waist, allowing you to feel his clothed hardness against your core. Aegon used his other hand to, with immense difficulty, untie your robe as he continued to kiss you with a fiery passion.

He only pulled his mouth away from you to push your robe open, allowing him to see your body, covered only by your small clothes. He breathed heavily, head down, gazing at you for longer than you would have guessed before he returned his lips to your neck, sucking a sweet spot just below your earlobe. You whined in response, and the sound drove Aegon mad.

Aegon moved the hand unoccupied with holding your leg up down to your core, rubbing over your small clothes. There was an evident wet spot that brutally reminded Aegon that there had been another man in between your legs just minutes ago. It also didn’t escape his thoughts that the man had longer, darker, curly hair and prominent features, much like Jacaerys.

Consumed in his thoughts, he pulled away from you, and you could tell something was wrong as he felt the wetness.

“Uh uh,” you snapped him out of his thoughts, “that wasn’t there before.”

Aegon nodded in understanding, grateful that you automatically knew what was bothering him, and slightly intimidated by that fact.

Aegon toyed with the waistband of your small clothes before dipping his fingers beneath them, eliciting a small whimper from your lips as he went back to sucking on your neck.

Aegon ran a finger between your folds, collecting the wetness there before slowly inserting a finger into your hole. Despite the ferocity of the situation, Aegon refused to miss an opportunity to hear the sounds you made when he moved excruciatingly slow.

Above all else, Aegon had an irrevocable desire to be needed and wanted. He loved to make his whores beg, even if it wasn’t genuine, because he could convince himself he was needed to satisfy them. He desperately wanted to see you vulnerable and begging, but you were too headstrong. He knew hearing any version of ‘please’ come from your lips would be damn near impossible. Damn near was good enough for him to try.

He watched your face contort as he pushed his finger in and out, curling when he hit a particularly sweet spot in your walls. You were whiny and breathy, head back against the wall, but that wasn’t enough for Aegon. He added another finger, the ring that adorned it leaving a cold sensation with each pump.

He kept his head on your shoulder, but was no longer kissing you, instead opting to rest his cheek there, gazing up at you as he watched what he was doing to you.

When he hit that special spot, your eyebrows creased, and he continued hitting that very spot so long as your face gave away how good it felt.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, your face beginning to turn a slight hint of red from the heat of it all.

“Not so tough now, are you?” he whispered in your ear.

You choked through strangled moans, “I’m still in control of myself,” and you meant it. If you truly wanted this to stop, or if you truly wanted to be more dominant, you knew you could.

“Doesn’t seem as such,” he replied, fucking you even faster with his fingers and giving himself a small, prideful smile.

He was moving in and out fast now, sounds of your wetness filling the empty space as you braved yourself against his shoulders. You were becoming lost in the pleasure, but you were too stubborn not to have the last word. “You think- fuck- you think I’m not?”

You pulled his hand away from you. It was mostly because you didn’t want to come quite yet, but you were happy to let him believe it was entirely for a show of power. Aegon was surprised, having felt your walls begin to squeeze his fingers just moments before.

You took his moment of surprise as an opportunity to grab his wrist and lead him over to the bed, pushing on his shoulders until he fell backward, the backs of his legs hitting the bed frame and dangling off the bed as he laid.

You considered pleasuring him briefly, and you could see he was hard beneath his breeches as he looked at you expectantly.

You untied and tugged at his breeches, pulling them down until he was only in his small clothes. You then knelt down in between his legs as he propped himself up on his elbows to watch you pull his small clothes down, place a teasing kiss on his inner thigh, and then stand up as if you had no intention of touching his most needy area.

Aegon stared at you, evidently disappointed at the loss of contact.

“Uh uh uh, you haven’t earned that. You don’t deserve it,” you spoke in reference to giving him the oral pleasure he expected.

Aegon tried to snap back at you in protest, but you caught his lips with your own, climbing atop him and straddling his hips. The friction of your clothed heat on his bare length was driving him crazy. He leaned forward to deepen the kiss, gripping your hips as he began to grind up against you, desperate for some kind of contact. He whined into the kiss as he did so, and despite your better judgement, you let him use your body for the moment.

When you had enough of him getting what he wanted, you pushed his shoulders until he was pressed back against the mattress again.

You took his cock in your hand, giving it a few strokes before you moved your small clothes to the side, beginning to sink down on his length.

He threw his head back in pleasure, but looked back up at you when you pulled away from him. You maintained eye contact as you began to sink down again, and Aegon took the hint, locking eyes with you as you allowed him to bottom out inside of you.

You sat atop of him for all too long without moving.

“You gonna move?” he asked, desperate.

“Not unless you ask me to.”

Both you and Aegon were in a power play now. It was turning you on even more.

“Should be the other way around,” he breathed out, erratic and heavy.

“I could sit here all day.”

Aegon would never admit it, but he enjoyed it when he didn’t have to be in control, and he was only more excited by your dominance.

He sat upwards, his cock shifting within you as his face became level with your breasts. He used one hand to free one of your breasts from the confines of your small clothes, running a finger across your nipple before encapsulating it in his mouth.

The heighten mood calmed, the act of Aegon’s mouth on your breasts causing the fiery lust to shift to pure intimacy.

Aegon sucked at one breast while the hand that wasn’t holding on to your back moved to fondle the other breast. His tongue swiped over your nipple in between sucks, his eyes closing as he lost himself in you. He swiftly removed your remaining small clothes over your head before returning to his previous position, praising your chest with his hands and mouth.

He only pulled away when you tugged at his top, the removal leaving you both fully naked in front of one another.

You moved a hand to the back of his head, gently stroking the hair there as he sucked. His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at you, never detaching from you, lightly moaning into your breast as you made eye contact.

You threw your head back and whimpered, your sighs driving Aegon crazy. Your position was so intimate, his cock inside of you as he sucked your breasts, and watching your pleasure from his mouth on your nipple was nearly enough to make Aegon come.

Aegon tested the waters of your movement, moving his hands to grip your hips and push you upward, prompting you to move slightly.

You allowed his efforts to work, very gently grinding your hips against him and pushing yourself up enough to feel pleasure, but not enough to move your breasts too far away from Aegon’s face.

He noticed, and he didn’t like it. He detached from your nipple, his chin resting on your chest right between your breasts. “Don’t hold back,” he demanded.

“I don’t take orders from you.”

You smiled so that he knew you were still playing with him, not genuinely mad. You figured he would continue this back and forth game, but instead, his vulnerability showed through. “Please.”

He was looking up at you through hooded eyes as your hips moved back and forth against him, his gaze glassy and desperate. He was prepared to beg.

“Please what?” you asked, teasing him further.

“Please don’t hold back. Please, I need you to not hold back. I need you.”

His pleading was enough for you. You began to lift your hips higher, your knees bending with each drop of your hips. Aegon reattached his lips to your breasts, challenging himself to hold on with his mouth as they began to bounce.

Aegon couldn’t help himself, he started to thrust up into you as much as he could in his upright position. It wasn’t much, but with the combination of you riding him, the movement was enough to make you sweat.

You held Aegon’s head against your breasts, your fingers intertwining themselves through the strands of his hair, lightly pulling when he gave a small bite to the flesh of your breasts.

He looked up at you and smiled. You thought the moment would be brief, but instead of immediately continuing his demonstrations, he kept watching you as you rode him.

You knew what he wanted. He wanted to see what he was doing to you, he wanted to be the reason for your pleasure- he wanted to feel needed. It’s why he was moving so slowly with his thrusts: you knew he wanted you to ask for more.

You leaned down and kissed Aegon, the kiss more intimate and personal than previously. You pushed him slightly as you leaned forward, allowing him to lay down as you lay on top of him, the position making it much easier for him to rock upward into you.

Instead, he stopped moving.

You flattened your palms against the bed on either side of Aegon’s head. “Give up already?” you teased.

“I’m not moving until you beg me.”

You scoffed. “I could just get up, Aegon.”

“Don’t,” he protested, still needy, “I wouldn’t believe you truly wanted to, if you did.”

“Aegon, move,” you said, needy yourself, soaking wet and much too ready to be fucked hard.

“Beg me.”

“Do you truly think me-“

“Beg me,” he said, his tone growing dark.

“You don’t scare me.”

Aegon fisted a hand in your hair, pulling your head backward as he placed a kiss on your neck, biting down hard on the skin. You hissed at the pain. “I said beg me.”

You decided to give in, but not quite how he anticipated. “Do that again,” you said.

Aegon bit down on your neck again, sucking on the now-bruised skin to soothe the pain right after. “That’s not enough.”

You sighed. “I don’t beg anyone for anything.”

Aegon’s hand harshly slapped your ass, jolting you upward in surprise, causing you to move on his cock. He grabbed your jaw in his hands, forcefully positioning your head so you were looking directly at him. “Fucking beg me.”

His tone was too much for you. You didn’t want to completely break your walls down, but it was too hot. You wanted him bad. You wanted to give in.

“I need you to fuck me Aegon,” you whined, “I want you to fuck me. Please.”

Aegon growled and kissed you hard, one hand moving to press down on the small of your back as he lifted and dropped his hips.

“F-fuck,” you moaned, the consistency of his strokes a brand new feeling, and so, so good.

Aegon kissed you to swallow your moans. You bit gently on his bottom lip, pulling slightly as you looked into his eyes, the feeling causing his eyes to blow out with lust.

He began to fuck you ruthlessly, moving in and out of you as fast as he possibly could, your back instinctively trying to straighten in an effort to brace yourself, but Aegon’s hand was pressing down too much on your back to keep you in place.

He grabbed both of your wrists, swiftly moving them behind your back as he held both with one hand, the other gripping the flesh of your ass to help move you against his sharp, vicious thrusts.

You could wriggle out of his grasp, or even purely strengthen yourself out of it, but you didn’t want to. It all felt too good, and you relished in the feeling of men taking control of you in bed. It was rare the men earned it, and right now, it felt right.

Your body was rocking back and forth against Aegon, and you were no longer able to control any way that your body was moving. You were completely at Aegon’s discretion. You contemplated if it was smart to trust him with your body, but you could tell he needed your body just as much as you needed his.

His hips were snapping against yours at a violent rate, his grip on your ass almost certainly preparing to leave a bruise.

“A- Aeg-“ you started, the words losing themselves on your tongue.

“Fuck, yes, say my name,” he begged.

“Ae- Aegon!” you cried out, nearly squealing.

“Sounds so good when you say it,” he spoke through erratic, hectic breaths, his forehead glistening with sweat as he used you to get himself off, fucking his cock in and out of you as fast as he could.

“Shit, Aegon, I- I can’t-“

Aegon threw his head back, the mere idea of you nearly coming causing his cock to twitch. He couldn’t wait to know how good your walls squeezing against him would feel.

He kept his head back against the bed, using the pressure to anchor himself as he tried to move faster and faster, if it was even possible.

You took the opportunity to kiss his neck, sucking a sweet spot just below his earlobe.

“Fuck,” he moaned, the intensity of the sex mixed with the intimacy of your kisses causing him to worry that he would come first if you didn’t come momentarily.

“Need- need you to come,” he begged, “wanna feel you first.”

“I’m gonna,” you responded, his neediness pushing you closer and closer to the edge as you squeezed his cock like a vice.

Your high crashed over you, your legs shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

Aegon kept up his ruthless pace, chasing his own high. The feeling of your orgasm mixed with the feeling of your legs shaking around his hips was too much for him, his final few thrusts hard enough to bruise your skin as he shot his seed inside of you.

His cock twitched as his body relaxed against the bed.

You used all of your strength to sit up and move one leg upward, swinging yourself off of his lap and collapsing on your back next to him.

“Aegon, did you just- inside of-“

“We have remedies, don’t worry. I’m sorry, you just felt too good.”

You both laid in silence for a moment, breathing and energy recovering from the ferocity of the sex as you both thought of what you had just done.

“I can’t return to the Red Keep,” you said, breaking the silence, your thoughts consuming you as you almost couldn’t help yourself but ruin the moment.

“I have no intention of forcing you to,” Aegon replied.

“You would allow yourself to take your leave as if you did not see me here today?” you clarified.

“I do not wish for Aemond to experience what I have just,” said Aegon, “if he knows of where you reside, he will continue to force your hand.“

“Was such a match not your idea?”

“It was,” he admitted, “but it is no longer necessary. I am acquainted with you now, and things are-“ his voice trailed off, and he was searching for the correct word, “different.”

“How so?”

Aegon turned to look at you, your eyes locked together momentarily before Aegon sat upward. “I must return,” was all he said before collecting his clothes and exiting the room.

────── ☾ ──────

tags: @torchbearerkyle @dracaryxzs @hangmanscoming @callsignwidow @velvetcrowbarcherry @kravitzwhore @darlingisntit @not-neverland06 @albionfay @cluz1babe @flusteredmoonn @sab-falco @ajanauia

[holylulusworld]

Unworthy (2)

Summary: Thor doesn’t think you‘re a good friend to his brother.

Pairing: AU!Thor Odinson x fem!Reader, AU!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader (platonic/best friends)

Warnings: past addiction, mentions of drug abuse/addiction (Loki), angst, classism, Thor being an ass, BBF trope, mentions of spiked drinks

Catch up here: Unworthy (1)

Unworthy masterlist

“Stop her then, son. If she told you the truth, we should find out more about what happened,” Odin feels like he just threw his daughter out of his house. “I shouldn’t have listened to you. Why did I not double-check your information.”

“Husband, not now,” Frigga places her hand on Odin’s shoulder. “Do not make another mistake. Maybe she is innocent, but we need to investigate further first. Thor, follow her. She’s the best source of information.”

“Right,” Thor huffs but turns to follow you. “I’m not sure she told me the truth. Some people have the ability to sell you any lie.”

Thor walks away to follow you. He easily catches up on you with his long legs and determined steps. “Wait—” He calls your name. It’s more an order than a request.

You move toward the exit, ignoring Thor walks next to you. “I said wait.”

“What else do you want to accuse me of?” You stop for a moment to glare up at Thor. “Maybe I sold drugs to Loki, huh? Maybe I was the one getting him addicted. Just leave me alone, Odinson.”

“If the guy spiked your drink there should be a police report…right?” He cocks a brow. Thor is not as good as his father at reading people, but he can see the fear in your eyes when the memories of that night come back.

“My friend called the cops after bringing me to the hospital. I gave a statement, and they promised me that he wouldn’t get away with what he did to me. I believed them,” you laugh bitterly.

“What happened?” He steps closer to tower over you. Thor is intimidating, with his sheer size and figure dwarfing you, but you won’t cower in front of him.

“What always happens,” you shrug and try to balance the box in your hands at the same time. “He came from a good family with old money. My words against his. I was the outsider allowed to walk their holy halls because of a scholarship.”

“That’s awful,” Thor sucks in a breath. If what you’re telling him is true, he understands that you always despised him, the golden son having it all. He never had to work for anything.

“It didn’t matter that my friend, the doctor, and the nurse gave a statement too. They tried to pressure me into taking my statement back, but I refused,” you sniff, and look away. “I didn’t matter, though. He got away with it because his parents knew the right people. Suddenly my test results were gone, and the guests at the party didn’t remember shit. I was lucky to not lose my scholarship. If we are done here, I’d love to leave this shitty place.”

Thor doesn’t stop you when you walk away from him. He has a lot of information to stomach. Thor hopes you’re just a good liar, and he was right about you. But he has a hunch that every word you said was true.

“That’s all, huh?” Hela looks up from her laptop to glare at Thor. He thumbs through the papers and pictures on Hela’s desk. “You didn’t find more?” He asks.

“Stop nagging,” she snaps at him. “You should thank me instead of moping. I got the statement from her friend and the doctor. The nurse withdrew her statement right after she bought a brand-new car.”

“Sounds fishy,” Hogun grumbles. It wasn’t in his plans to sneak around your apartment and follow you around town. “I don’t think the sweet girl is a criminal mastermind. All she did was to buy groceries and look for a new job.”

“Hey, it’s still my turn,” Hela glares at Hogun. “We wanted to talk about her past before we get to the present and future. A shame I didn’t get the chance to interrogate her.” She smirks at her brother. “I bet the sweet girl would’ve been putty in my hands.”

Thor curls his upper lip. “What did you find out?”

Hela leans back in her chair and crosses one leg over the other. She takes her time to inform her brother.

“I found more questions than answers. But I can tell you that the guy spiking Y/N’s drink is a piece of shit. Over the years his parents tried to cover all the shit he pulled. Luckily, they did not succeed. He crossed one too many lines and they turned their back on him.”

“Interesting,” Thor grabs one of the pictures taken at the hospital. You look scared and his heart hurts seeing the tears run down your cheeks. “Anything else?”

“No well done from you?” She huffs. “Always the same with you and father.” Hela snaps at her brother. “I tried to talk to his parents, but they refused to talk about the incident with Y/N. If you ask me, their son did exactly what Y/N said.”

“Says who…?” Thor questions. He’s still not convinced that you told him the truth and that you are innocent. If so, he’d be the worst person ever for ruining your career and friendship with his brother.

“How is he? Where is he?” You pant heavily as you try to find Loki. “Duke, where is he?” You ask Loki’s sponsor. “Duke!”

“He’s in a bad condition,” Duke’s features soften at your worried look. You’re out of your mind because Loki’s AA sponsor called you in the middle of the night. What if Loki is relapsed or is injured?

“Did he have a relapse?” You clasp your hands together to silently pray Loki didn’t do anything stupid because of what happened. “Duke?”

“No,” Duke shakes his head. “He needs you. Loki asked for you the whole time. I didn’t want to call you, but he wouldn’t stop. He’s vulnerable, Y/N.”

“I need to see him.”

“Loki’s inside my office,” Duke gently pats your shoulder. “Take all your time, Y/N. If you need a ride home, I’ll drive you.”

“Loki?” You walk inside the office, heart lurching in your chest. Loki sits on the ground. His long legs stretched out, and his head hanging. “Darling?”

“Y/N,” he murmurs but doesn’t look at you. Loki believed you gave up on him. Thor, his father, and Frigga didn’t tell him the whole truth. When one of your co-workers told him that you got fired and showed him the pictures Loki knew, Thor did this to you to get you out of his life.

“Hey, beautiful,” you sit down next to Loki and wrap one arm around his shoulders. “How’s my pretty boy tonight?”

“Not good,” he leans his head against your shoulder and sighs. “I almost fucked up again, Y/N. I was bad tonight. I…I…” he sniffles and wrings his hands. “I almost bought the poison.”

“Did you buy it?”

“No.”

“Good. See, you’re stronger than you thought,” you peck his hair. “I knew you could do it, Loki.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your job and my brother?” He murmurs. “I could’ve helped you.”

“Your brother is an asshole, you know that” you try to cheer Loki up while your world still lies in ruins. “He tried to find something to hold against me and succeed. It’s not the end of the world to lose a job, darling. I’ll find something soon.”

“Hmmm…” Loki thoughtfully hums. “Maybe I can lend you some money.”

“I got spared money, Loki. I’m not your friend because of your money, darling.”

“You are my friend because of my good looks, right?” Relieved that you are not angry at him for the things his family did, Loki sighs.

“I’m your friend because I love you, darling,” you pat his thigh. For a moment you are both silent. “So, you came here for a meeting?”

“Three,” he says. “I’m sorry Duke had to call you.”

“I told you a long time ago that you can always call me, Loki. Day or night,” you softly say. “Did you eat today, darling?”

His growling stomach answers your question. “Not much,” Loki admits. “I wasn’t in the mood for food.”

“That was the most awful rhyme I ever heard,” you laugh. “Come on, darling. I’ll take you home and we can eat my leftovers.”

“You want to take me home?” He purrs. “You can’t wait to get your hands on me, huh? I bet you waited for me to call.”

“You’re a little bitch, Loki Laufeyson.”

“I love you too, Y/N…”

You watch Loki’s chest rise and fall. Still worried about your friend you didn’t leave his side.

Finally at peace after hours of suffering and self-hatred, he sleeps peacefully on your bed.

He greedily stuffed your leftovers into his mouth and even burped because you wanted him to eat dessert too.   

You talked for half the night, assuring him that his father and brother can do whatever they want to. You will stand by Loki’s side. Whether they like it or not.

“If you don’t stop yelling at me I’ll hang up,” you snarl into the phone. “I only called to tell you that Loki is safe and didn’t have a relapse. He’s asleep and I’ll drive him home after he had breakfast.”

Thor yells into the phone. He throws profanities at you while his sister watches him with amusement. She chuckles and listens to your explanation. “Thor, calm down. She took good care of him.”

“You don’t have a say in this,” Thor grunts. “She gets fired and then…” He growls and grunts while you listen to his rant.

“Are you done?” You ask. “I’m going to hang up now. I don’t want to wake Loki. He needs his sleep after everything he’s gone through last night. If you need to know more, ask his sponsor who called me, knowing I’ll be the one getting Loki out of the hole he fell into once again.”

You hang up, already regretting that you called Loki’s family. All you wanted to do was make sure they won't worry all night because he didn’t come home.

You harrumph and walk back inside your living room to switch through the channels. Sleep is out of the question after the call. Thor once again made you furious, and you hate the feeling.

Next time he dares to show his face, you’ll knee his balls and give him a piece of your mind…

Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

What would the relationship between the reader and Ghost be like if they knew one another before he became Ghost?? Like they met in the military and reader met his family when he finally introduced her to them. Then the aftermath??

Awe, I love this one. I hope this is along the lines of what you're looking for! Thanks for the request🥰

Before He Was "Ghost," He was Simon.

Warnings: mentions of death, family trauma, angst, swearing, fluff

----------------------------------------------------

□You and Simon met when you both enlisted shortly after 9/11.

□The two of you worked well together and were constantly being sent on the same deployments.

□ It took a bit, but you grew incredibly close to one another, and you were one of the lucky few who Simon actually considered a friend.

□ Both of you just "got each other." You grew to love Simon's dark, dry humor, and he grew to appreciate your bubbly attitude, always wanting everyone around you to smile.

□ You found yourselves constantly in each other's company, whether it be partnered of missions or during downtime on base.

□ Even off duty, the two of you spent nearly all your time together. He was a tough nut to crack even back then, but you had made it seem so easy.

□ You had shown each other your hobbies and interests and spent a lot of your time together trying new things.

□ He was very reserved about his family, only giving bits of information about his childhood. You knew better than to press on it, as it seemed a sore spot for him.

□ It has taken a little over a year of being friends for him to want to introduce you to his mom and brother. He'd arranged the meeting so that his father wouldn't be there when you went over.

□ His childhood home was small but cozy. His mother was a quiet, kind-hearted woman, and you could tell she loved her sons dearly.

□ You got along well with his mom, and were subjected to relentless teasing from Simon's brother, constantly telling you to "just date my brother already." Much to Simon's embarrassment.

□ The four of you were having a wonderful time, his mom telling you of the few cheerful memories of Simon and his brother as children and asking you about your life.

□ Unbeknownst to the two of you, Simon's dad came home earlier than expected.

□ Simon rarely went into detail about his father, but the few snippets he'd given you in the past led you to understand that his father was a piece of shit.

□ The tense silence that ensued had you feeling wickedly uncomfortable, and you could tell Simon was doing his best to stay composed. The atmosphere had changed significantly, and from the looks on everyone's faces, it was clear his dad's presence wasn't a welcome one.

□ After regarding you and Simon with a sinister sneer, his father gave a pathetic attempt at a dry conversation, clearly not caring to put any effort into it. Simon's hand found yours and squeezed it gently, signaling to you that it was time to go.

□ You'd only saw his brother and mom a few more times before they were killed.

□ You and Simon had been separated a few months previously, as he went off to do his own thing, and you'd missed him terribly.

□ You'd heard about it through the grapevine that they were murdered, and tried to reach out to Simon in any way you could, to no avail.

□ You were so worried about him, and the longer you went without hearing from him, the more concerned you got. You missed your best friend terribly and wanted to comfort him in any way you could.

□ He closed himself off to you, and you were worried you may never speak to him again.

□ It wasn't until a few years later that you saw him again. But this wasn't your Simon anymore. This was Ghost. The much feared, yet respected Liuetanant who's past was just as much a mystery as what laid behind the mask.

□ You'd heard of the callsign a few times through chatter amongst the soldiers, and the name was gaining much notoriety.

□ You hadn't really not thought much of the name until you'd seen the man in person. In your heart, you knew it was Simon.

□ He was a part of the freshly created task Force 141, and you had been tasked to accompany them on a search and destroy mission.

□ The first time you laid your eyes on Ghost, you were beyond intimidated. His eyes held no trace of the man you once knew.

□ The only interactions you shared were brief and professional. Simon gave no indication that he even knew who you were, and if you were honest, it nearly tore you apart.

□ You had an internal struggle for days after seeing him again. You didn't know if he even wanted to talk to you, but you were so desperate to see him again and tell him you missed him all these years.

□ Deciding to just go for it, you found yourself walking into the weapons room and saw him cleaning his weapons at the nearest table.

"Ghost?" You asked meekly, slowly approaching the masked man.

"Y/N." He replied, not lifting his eyes from the gun in front of him.

"I um.. I wanted to say h-hi." You felt your cheeks heating up, and were embarrassed that you were stuttering. With our without the mask, this was still Simon. It had to be.

"Don't gotta act scared Sargeant. I won't bite." He looked up to you through his mask. You relaxed a bit, holding his eye contact.

"It's been awhile. I didn't.. I didn't know if you wanted to talk to me. I tried reaching out so many times.. I was…am worried about you." You looked down at your hands, growing nervous again as you awaited his answer.

He didn't say anything in reply, only grunting while he returned to cleaning his weapons.

You knew better than to push him. In your years of knowing him, if Simon didn't want to say anything, he wouldn't and nothing could change that. That's not to say you couldn't feel your heart slowly shatter, you now realized that perhaps this was no longer your Simon, and there was no chance of ever seeing him again.

"Well it was good seeing you. And if you ever want to talk, I'll be around." You smiled at him trying to mask the hurt you were feeling, and turned for the door.

"I couldn't lose you too." You heard him say softly. You could barely make out the words, but you whipped your head around to meet his eyes. "I lost my whole family, Y/N. I couldn't lose you too. The man that I've become since then, is not one that deserves someone like you."

"Oh, Simon. You could never lose me. No matter what I'm always here for you. You will always be Simon to me." You cooed as you moved to crouch in front of him. "I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I don't know what I could ever say to make up for that pain."

You could see Simon blink away tears in his eyes, and he moved to pull away his mask, leaving his face bare to you.

"There's my guy. I've missed seeing that face." You smiled as you slowly placed your hand on his cheek, stroking softly. "Simon, if you'll have me, I'll always be by your side. Can't get rid of me that easily."

He chuckled at your comment, and moved his own hand to your cheek, copying your movements.

The two of you sat like that for awhile, before he spoke up. "I've missed you all these years. I thought it best to push you away so you couldn’t get hurt from my actions. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the woman I loved got hurt because of me."

His words shocked you. You'd loved Simon since the moment you met him, but you truly thought he'd only ever seen you as a familial figure. In the decade or so you'd known each other, he'd given very few hints away that he'd seen you in any way than more than just a friend.

"You love me?" You asked, meeting his gaze once more.

"I've always loved you. Why do you think I took you to meet my my mom and brother?" His eyes softened as he spoke, and his gaze flickered down to your lips.

You chocked out a small sob before crashing your lips onto his. The kiss was better than anything you could've imagined, as it was years in the making. All of the yearning, sadness, longing and love was all poured into this kiss.

You pulled away slowly and pulled his chin down to meet your eyes. "I love you too, Simon."

A rare smile formed on his face, as he moved to kiss your forehead. "Why don't I finish up here, and we can take a walk, yeah? Have a few years worth of stuff to catch up on."

He finished up, and grabbed your hand leading you out to the barracks. He gave your hand a squeeze as you fell in step beside him. As the two of you walked together, telling stories of your escapades the last few years, Simon finally allowed himself to grow happy again. He was beyond excited to start this new chapter with you, the woman he loved, and catch up on everything he'd missed.

—---

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!☺️ as always thanks for reading!

[tightjeansjavi]

Slow Hands | Chapter 10

“the lone moose”

A/N: disclaimer before we get into this chapter, this is a very emotionally/mentally heavy chapter that might not be suitable for everyone. The main topic of this chapter and the next is focused around Joel’s attempted suicide and Tommy’s C-PTSD. This content maybe triggering for some, and if that is the case, please do not read if you feel triggered. Warnings will be marked appropriately. Take care of yourselves first. And as always, a huge thanks to my beta @angelofsmalldeath-codeine 🤍

~word count: 6.9k~

Summary: the wolves of Jackson are lurking

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: !DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! thoughts of suicide, semi-graphic depictions of attempted suicide, brief moment of stigmatizing suicide (Tommy’s reaction) canon-typical violence, graphic depiction of an injury, semi-graphic depictions of childloss (and the trauma that comes with it) angst, grief, guilt, anxiety, heavy topics, anger, overwhelming emotions, C-PTSD responses, fear responses, no age gap, readers nicknames is Beanie (coffee beans) +18 minors DNI! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!

Slow Hands Masterlist

Two days had passed since Joel and Ellie took the steps together to make up. Joel already had a visible pep in his step, and a lightness in his eyes that Tommy hadn’t seen in his brother for over 20 years. Joel’s back still ached, but the pain was subdued.

Patrol was long and uneventful. The two brothers only had a handful of evidence gathered to present to Maria, but neither would give up hope. After untacking Tex and Timber, Joel and Tommy turned both horses out in one of pastures just outside the stables. Tess was grazing alongside the fence when Timber and Tex went to greet her.

A wave of melancholy washed over his features as he watched Tex and Tess nuzzle one another affectionately. He thought of you, of course.

“Hey, Joel?” Tommy asked alongside him with his arms resting along the wooden fence. “Y’wanna have a drink with me real quick at the Tipsy Bison before y’head home?” He rasped softly.

“I’d love to, but I promised Ellie we’d have a movie night tonight. Can’t go and let her down, y’know? How about tomorrow?” Joel suggested with a grin.

“Ah, movie night with the kiddo. Hey, I think that’s great that y’all are movin’ forward. Tomorrow sounds good.” Tommy responded with a genuine smile. It was a relief that he and Joel were growing close again. He missed his brother terribly.

“Yeah, and Beanie as well. I let Ellie pick out the movie. Think she said we were gonna watch Curtis and Viper 2.” Joel stifled a chuckle as he glanced down at the toe of his boots.

“Aw shit, that’s a good one! Well, you enjoy yourself, okay? Adios, big brother. See ya in the mornin.’” Tommy reached over and gave Joel a side hug before he pushed himself off the fence.

“See ya in the mornin, Tommy.” Joel mumbled to himself with a smile slowly creeping over his lips. Truthfully, he was rather excited for this movie night with you and Ellie. He couldn’t picture a better way to spend his evening than with his two favorite girls.

“Hey, Tex? Y’keep a good eye on your gal tonight. Y’hear? I’ll see ya in the mornin’, pal.” He spoke softly as his horse lifted his head from where he was grazing. He let out a snort in response as his tail swished away at the pesky flies.

The weight of Tommy’s letter in Joel’s pocket felt ten times heavier than when Joel first had written it. He thought about making a quick pit stop at the Tipsy Bison to give it to him, but tomorrow was a new day. He’d give the letter to Tommy first thing in the morning.

Ellie’s carved wooden fawn was tucked away in the inside pocket of his flannel. He brought it on patrol to show Tommy, and because he liked having a piece of his baby girl with him. Tonight he’d give her the gift, and to you, his precious star, something that twinkled like the night sky; matching charm bracelets. Two golden hearts dangling from the chains. Appearing brand new, untouched. The names Peggy carved into one, and Steve into the other. Lovers from the past, and now lovers in the present.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on your pretty face when he would present the bracelet to you. He said one last goodbye to the horses. He’d pass by your home en route to his own as he usually did every evening after patrol. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he noticed a figure looming in the distance. He squinted his eyes through the harsh rays of the setting sun. He approached the figure with cautious steps.

As far as he was concerned, no one ever hung around your home like this. It raised suspicions immediately. His boots crunched under loose dirt as the figure stopped their pacing and seemed to pause in thought.

“Cody?” Joel’s tone ran cold, edged with a sharp suspicion as his footsteps stopped a foot away. A balmy breeze sifted through his salt and pepper streaked tendrils.

The younger man looked around for a moment as the gears in Joel’s brain began to work on overdrive. He knew Cody, or so he thought. He believed Cody was a good man. They shared many meals, conversations—

“Have y’seen Beanie around by chance?” Cody asked casually as he ignored the obvious suspicion that Joel was facing.

Joel’s hackles raised on instinct as he watched Cody lean up against your fence with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Haven’t seen her since this mornin.’” Joel responded flatly. He knew right then and there that he had to play this cool for the time being. He didn’t need Cody knowing that he was onto him.

“Right. Well, thanks anyway, old man.” Cody muttered the last bit as he turned on his heel to walk away.

“What’re you doin’ hangin’ around her place anyway? Y’know I could have you—”

“Reported? Yeah, sure you can. What would you even report me for, Miller? Cody scoffed. “All you had to do was not get yourself involved. Coulda just kept your nose out of things, but that’s not how you play your game, right?” He turned to face the older man once more just as a distinctive crash was heard from inside of your home.

Joel moved quickly, but Cody was quicker. Stronger, and trigger happy.

Cody was pouncing on the older man like a predator does to their prey. They tousled in the dusty dirt before Cody had him pinned down. His fists rained down on Joel’s face and the pained groans only seemed to spur Cody on further.

“Just had to go and get yourself involved with that fuckin’ cunt, huh?!”

Joel tried to fold his arms over his head to block out the swift punches to his face. Cody was ruthless, and Joel wasn’t as strong as he once was. Years ago he would have snapped Cody like a toothpick, but his age was beginning to catch up with him and this was the result.

Through gritted teeth Joel attempted to use his weight to throw Cody off of him, but it was no use. “I’ll fuckin’ kill every last one of you. I’ll rip you limb from fuckin’ limb and scatter your remains to the wolves—”He growled.

“Yeah? And how do you propose you’re gonna do that, Joel? Y’ain’t the one with the upper hand here, old man! You’re not takin’ this from me! Imagine how proud he’ll be when I not only bring in the moose, but your precious Beanie too.” He sneered conceitedly.

That’s all Joel needed to get a second wind of adrenaline coursing through his veins. He growled between his teeth as he used what little remaining strength he had left to force Cody off of him. He was reaching for his concealed pistol tucked in his belt loop under his shirt, when Cody kicked it from his grasp just as the two men inside of your home came rushing out.

“Jesus! fuck, Cody! What the hell are you doin?’ This wasn’t part of the plan!” The one man, a burly fellow with scarred tissue from third degree burns that covered nearly half of the left side of his face yelled urgently. Through the rushing of blood, and pain stabbing every inch of Joel’s face, he recognized this man too. He recognized the man next to him as well, smaller in stature, but stocky. Alex and Oliver.

“Fuck the plan! I’m not gonna waste this opportunity!” He sent the heel of his boot right into Joel’s gut causing him to double over into the crimson speckled dirt with a pain ridden grunt. “Well?!” He threw his hands up in the air. “Was she in there or not?!”

Alex and Oliver slowly looked over at one another before their shoulders simultaneously slumped inward. “No, but—”

“FUCK!” Cody snarled out of sheer frustration. He couldn’t let him down. He was told he couldn’t show up empty handed. It wasn’t an option.

Just as Joel’s fingers weakly grasped the handle of his pistol, that lay only a short arms distance away, Cody sent his boot right into his face. There was a sickening crunching sound of bone matter and cartilage being crushed as Joel’s body stilled. He was knocked out cold from the impact as blood leaked down his face and soaked into the dusty earth beneath him.

Neither men moved as Cody began to pace in contemplation. He paid no mind to the consequences he would face for his actions.

“Cody, we need to get the fuck outta town right fuckin’ now! If anyone sees—”

“And show up empty handed?! Fuck no.”

“Cody, she wasn’t there. We have no fuckin’ clue where she could be. C’mon, let’s just go back and regroup before someone shows up and finds Joel layin’ in a pool of his own blood.”

Cody ignored his counterparts as he continued to pace in a tight circle. He suddenly stopped when the lightbulb went off in his sick mind. He turned towards the two men, with a smirk that could only be described as sinister, “Angie.”

Ellie was curled up against your body with her cheek pressed gently into your shoulder. Her eyes flickered towards the windows in the family room. She watched the last bit of sunlight dip behind the horizon as a warm summer breeze blew through the beige curtains.

Joel should have been home by now.

She waited with alert ears for the sound of the front door to squeak open any minute now. It never came.

She shifted against you before your gazes met. “Beanie, he should have been home by now.”

You understood full heartedly that this movie night was important to Ellie. This was the first time that she and Joel were going to be spending some quality time together after everything they had gone through. This was a big deal.

“Kiddo, I’m sure he’s on his way now. Maybe he and Tommy just got caught up in something?” You wanted to reassure her and yourself that Joel was in fact on his way, and maybe he was just running late.

“Beanie..he—promised. What if he’s ditchin’ me? God, this was so stupid.” She went to bury her hands in her face, but you stopped her.

“Ellie, he’s not ditching you. He would never do that to you. He loves you. I’m sure he’s just running late is all.” Your own fears began to crawl up into your subconscious. What if something was wrong? What if something had happened?

Ellie wanted to believe you, she really did, but her own fears were making an appearance as well. It didn’t help the fact that her last conversation with Joel had been about his suspicions of Lucas..

“I’m gonna go check the stables, okay? You stay here. Lock the doors.” Ellie was up from her spot on the couch before you could even attempt to stop her.

“Ellie,” you started, voice wavering from the building nerves, “be careful, okay?”

The teen looked over at you with a small, yet confident grin, “Always am.” Her face twisted back to a serious one as she tucked her gun in her hoodie pocket. Joel surely would have scolded her if he had seen it.

You listened to the soft click of the door opening and closing. Your eyes drifted over to the unoccupied spot on the couch where one of the pillows was smashed down. Joel’s spot. .

Please. Please just be running late.

Please be okay, Joel.

Tommy found himself reminiscing on the good ole days as he nursed his glass of beer. Condensation dripped down the outside of the glass like tear drops on cheeks. The noisy chatter that encircled him was drowned out by his thoughts. Joel had always been the protector, the planner, the guardian. And as a young boy, Tommy viewed Joel as his hero. His own beacon of light through the darkness. And when Sarah died? It all changed. He was angry. At the world. At himself. And now, here in this peaceful community, he was getting to see those small glimpses of the old Joel that had laid dormant for so many years.

The Joel that he knew and loved so deeply.

He left his glass half empty as he said his goodbyes to some of the patrol guys, and the barkeep before he walking towards the door.

He was heading in the direction of the home he shared with Maria when he noticed a mass laying just outside your home. He thought that his brain was playing a cruel trick on him, and the approaching dusk might have also played a role in what he was seeing.

Gravel and dirt particles crunched beneath his heavy boots as he started his approach. As he drew nearer, he was able to make out the outline of a body. And, oh—god

Tommy remembers the moment he heard the shot ring through Joel’s house as if it had happened just yesterday. While he gathered supplies in the garage, his big brother was upstairs with the barrel of a revolver pressed against his temple.

How could Tommy not have known? How could he have missed the signs? The indications that Joel was thinking of taking a drastic measure to end his life. How could he have missed it?

“Joel!” A younger Tommy Miller yelled in fear. He threw down the tool box in a haste. Tools of all shapes and sizes clattered to the concrete in a harsh crescendo.

“Joel! Please, no. Please.” He chanted weakly under his breath as his feet carried him up the staircase. He stumbled on the top step as a wave of nausea made its presence known.

“Joel!” He yelled again, more desperately than the last. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his brother so soon. He couldn’t. Not when just days ago they laid Sarah to rest. He couldn’t do this without Joel.

Sweat pooled at the back of his neck the closer he drew to the ajar opening of Sarah’s bedroom. He held onto the wall for support as his knees began to inevitably buckle from the dread crawling up his throat.

“Joel.” He croaked, “please. Please be alive in there.”

With a shaky breath, and through a mess of tears, Tommy pushed open Sarah’s bedroom door.

“I missed.” Joel murmured in disbelief. Disappointed that he couldn’t just do one thing fucking right. He couldn’t just follow through with his promise. His final wish to be with his daughter. His baby girl.

His palms trembled as his dull brown eyes flitted down to the revolver still in his grasp. He paid no mind to the blood slowly trickling from the right side of his head. Just a graze. Missed completely.

“Joel, what the fuck did you do that for?” Tommy wasn’t sure if he should laugh, cry, yell, all of the above? “You’re bleedin’, brother.”

“Oh.” Joel responded flatly. He brought his fingers up towards the right side of his head. He hardly flinched when his fingertips dragged through the flowing blood. He brought his hand back down to his eye level, fingers soaked in crimson. Then, the ringing started. Tommy’s voice started to sound fuzzy from the right side. “I flinched, Tommy. Thought I could do it. I was so sure—”

“Joel. Stop it, please.” Tommy nearly begged his brother as he cautiously moved in closer.

“I wanted to die, Tommy. I ain’t have anythin’ left to live for.” He refused to make eye contact with his brother purely out of shame.

“Killin’ yourself ain’t gonna bring Sarah back, Joel. Its fuckin’ selfish that you—” His words were bitter, jaded, sharpened with intent to harm. “I fuckin’ need you, Joel. I need my big brother to keep us alive. Is he still in there?” He pointed to Joel’s chest, symbolizing his heart.

When Joel finally brought his chin upwards to face his brother, the look on his sunken features shattered Tommy right down to the core. A broken man, father, brother. The same man that helped Tommy with his homework. The same man that taught him how to ride a bike. The same man that Tommy viewed as his hero. Where was he now?

“He died along with her.”

“Joel!” Tommy felt his voice get lodged in his throat at the sight of his older brother laying motionless in the crimson stained dirt. Panic began to swell and fester like an untreated wound the second his eyes landed on Joel’s handgun just an arms length away.

“No. No. Please— what happened, Joel!” He sank to his knees alongside him. “We were just—talkin’ about how much you were lookin’ forward to the movie night with Ellie and Beanie, remember? You said that you would see me in the mornin’, dammit!” He yelled, slamming one of his fists in the dirt before he took a shaky inhale. “Remember?”

He wouldn’t hurt himself, would he? The thought flashed through his mind briefly. He remembered finding Joel in a pool of his own blood after Sarah died. Tommy brushed away strands of Joel’s hair that were congealed together with blood. His brows furrowed intently when he found there was no bullet hole in Joel’s skull before he pressed his middle and pointer finger right against Joel’s pulse point.

Please. Please. Please still be in there, Joel.

When the faintest pulse was detected, Tommy let out a visible sound of relief. His big brother was alive, but Tommy knew he had to act fast.

“S’alright, big brother. You’re alright. Gonna get you fixed up.” He murmured to himself just as he heard approaching footsteps.

“Tommy?..” It was Ellie. Her voice wavered at the sight of her uncle and father on the ground. “J—Joel?!” Her eyes were wide with oncoming tears brimming when she locked in on Joel’s unmoving body.

“Tommy, wh—what the fuck happened?!” She blinked away her tears just as Tommy stood up from the ground. “Is he fuckin’ dead, Tommy?!”

“Ellie, I don’t know what happened. I was on my way home and—found him like this. He’s alive, kiddo. He’s alive, but we gotta get him to doc right away.” Tommy never felt like he was all that great at taking on the protective role, but his niece needed his comfort and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

Ellie wasn’t listening to a word Tommy was saying. All she could focus on was Joel’s bloodied face and still body. Her emotions were consuming her entirely before she felt Tommy’s warm embrace wrapping her up. She let her tears soak into his shirt as she clung to him for dear life.

“Ellie, I know you’re scared, kiddo. But I need ya to be strong for me, and for Joel. We gotta get him to doc right now. I need you to help me carry him okay?” He spoke in a soft tone, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “He’s gonna be just fine. Your old man has always been a fighter.”

She squeezed her uncle tightly before pulling away from his embrace. She wiped what remained of her tears away on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’ll—I’ll take his legs?” She questioned rather than suggested. Seeing Joel like this, bloodied, weak, on the verge of—

“Ellie, he’ll be okay.” Tommy firmly reassured her again. He bent down over his brother and gently hoisted him up under his armpits while Ellie lifted him up by his legs.

Joel felt like dead weight, but his brother and daughter’s determination helped them power through the dull ache and strain in their muscles.

Tommy hated hospitals just as much, if not more than his brother did. The pungent stench of bleach, the droning hum from the overhead fluorescent lights. It was unappealing, cold, and overall a dreadful experience. But out of all of the late night visits to the ER after another bar fight, this by far was the worst of all to see his brother unconscious, dried blood crusted on his skin. Yet appearing peaceful while Doc checked his vitals and any signs of internal injuries

Ellie was seated next to her uncle nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Her leg was bouncing up and down frantically, until Tommy gently placed his palm over her knee in an attempt to soothe her.

“Well, he might have a bit of bruisin’ to his ribs, and his nose is definitely broken, but it’ll heal. There’s a chance he might be concussed, but I won’t know that for certain until he wakes up.” Doc said while tucking his clipboard under his armpit.

“I’ll stay here till he wakes up. Don’t want him wakin’ up alone.” Tommy said with a slight nod in Doc’s direction.

“I’m staying, too.” Ellie was defiant, of course. It was in her nature, and she couldn’t fathom not being by her dads side—

“Ellie, I’m gonna go and find someone to walk you home, okay? One of the guys on patrol..maybe a couple, given the circumstances.” He needed to make sure his niece got home in one piece, first and foremost.

Ellie clenched her fists, lips pressed tightly together as her eyes met Tommy’s in an intense stare. He could see residue of dried tears on her cheeks, and fresh ones beginning to brew like an oncoming storm. “Tommy,” she started, voice low, yet stern. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving him. I’m not. You can’t—”

“Ellie, I know you want to stay here with him too, but somethin’ about this ain’t right. You and I both know that there’s been some suspicious activity happenin’ as of late. Joel is goin’ to be okay, kiddo. He’s as stubborn as a mule.”

Her lower lip wobbled under the bright fluorescent light. She wanted to be angry at her uncle for telling her what she needed to do, but he was right, and there really wasn’t another second to waste. “Don’t you dare even think of leavin’ his side, Tommy. Don’t you dare.” She wiped her eyes along the back of her hand before making the final decision to get up from where she was sitting.

“I won’t, kiddo. I promise.” Tommy reassured her.

She walked over to the right side of the bed where Joel was lying and gently ran her fingers through a few stray curls that were stuck to his forehead. Dried sweat, dirt, and blood littered his hair and face. She leaned down, whispering something while she pressed her lips to his temple, squeezing her eyes shut.

Please don’t die.

Tommy left the room to give Ellie a bit of privacy. He flagged down a nurse in the hallway and quickly explained that he needed someone to ensure Ellie safely got home. It was decided that two patrol members would escort her home.

When Tommy returned, he was with Jesse and Liam waiting outside the open doorway.

“Ellie?”

Her head snapped in the direction of Tommy’s voice as she quickly wiped away the remnants of her tears.

“Jesse and Liam are gonna make sure you get home safe. Okay, kiddo?”

“Sure.” She muttered. Agreeing with her uncle didn’t mean that she had to act happy about it. Despite her feelings, she made a point to hug her uncle before she left the room.

Don’t leave him. She reminded him.

Sunlight warms his skin, birds chirping in the high treetops, a soft breeze rustles through his hair, kissing his temple. He knows this place, where he stands. It’s—

“baby girl?” He chokes out, stumbling forward in an uncoordinated motion.

She’s there. She’s alive. She’s got daisies in her curls.

“Dad?”

He nearly drops to his knees right at the spot where he and Tommy dug her grave all those years ago. He stops in his tracks as she turns around to face him. She’s wearing the same clothes that she died in, except there’s no blood. No bullet wounds. She’s untouched. Bright, glowing under the rays of sunlight.

“Are you really here? C-can I hold you? Are those daisies in your hair? Baby girl, I’m so sorry.” The words tumble past his lips like an avalanche of word vomit. His heart lurches in his chest, leaping from the confines of his ribcage.

Sarah’s feet carry her swiftly to her father before she’s wrapping her arms around his middle, hugging him tightly with her cheek pressed firmly against his chest. “I’m really here, dad.” She squeezes her eyes shut.

Joel’s arms wrap around her immediately, hugging her to his chest as tightly as he can, he’s trembling, tears blurring his vision, dripping down his cheeks and landing softly on her head of curls. He pulls away only to gently cradle her face in his strong, calloused, gentle hands.

She’s here. She’s alive. His baby girl.

“Dad..you—you remembered our favorite spot?” Her smile is beautiful, radiant, full of life.

“Of course I did. Our hikes, the fresh air. We—we loved it out here. I—I never forgot. Baby girl, I haven’t forgotten you. I—I think about you everyday. I’m so sorry. I miss you..I miss you so much.”

Her hands come to rest against the patches of his now graying beard. “Dad, you don’t have to apologize. I’m okay, I’m happy. I miss you too, dad. I miss you so much, but Ellie, she needs you. I’ll always wait for you, I promise. I’m always going to be right here.” She drops one of her hands from his face to then point to his heart. “I’m always with you.”

His face falls as his thumbs gently stroke her cheekbones. He’s not ready to leave, not yet. Not so soon. Too soon. He needs more time. Time. Time. Time.

Ellie.

“You—you would have loved her, baby girl. She reminds me so much of you. Her smile, her laugh. I see you in her. She’s—she’s my blessing. My second chance..my light in the darkness.” He sniffles, leaning down so he can press his lips to her forehead.

“And she needs you more than ever now, dad. She needs you. You have to forgive yourself, okay? Please promise me that one day, you will forgive yourself, dad. Promise me.”

“I promise you, baby girl. I promise. Daddy loves you, okay? He loves you so much.” There’s so much more he wants to say, so much more he wants to tell her, but there’s not enough time. He knows it.

“Dad, I love you so much. Tell Tommy I miss him too, okay? I’ll see you again one day, when the time is right.” She hugs him one last time as he buries his face into her mess of curls, holding in his sobs as more tears begin to fall.

“When the time is right, baby girl.” He murmurs.

—

“Well, brother. Guess it’s jus’ you and me now, huh?” Tommy wants to laugh, but he can’t. His emotions are all fucked. Everything is so fucked.

“That kid of yours really loves the hell outta ya. You’re like two feral cats.” He continues, forcing himself to stand and walk over to his brother's bedside. “And I know how much you love her.” He murmurs as he glances down at the nightstand where the contents of Joel’s pockets are laid out.

The two charm bracelets, the wood carving of a fawn for Ellie, and a folded piece of paper now tarnished with blood and debris.

“One of these for Beanie?” He asks while gently picking up one of the charm bracelets. “I’m so happy you listened to my advice and went to her coffee shop. I jus’ had this feelin’ that you two would hit it off.”

“You love her, huh? Like..really love her? I’m glad, Joel. I’m glad that you’re finally allowin’ yourself to love, and be loved. If anyone in this fucked up world deserves that, it’s you.”

He sets down the charm bracelet alongside the other before he picks up the wood carved fawn. One of the delicate ears had broken off during the fight, but it was fixable. “Ellie is going to love this when she sees it. You’ve always been..a giver, Joel.. Always thinkin’ of others before yourself. Puttin’ your heart out on the line. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I’m so grateful that you met Ellie when you did. You saved her, but she saved you just as much. Turned that cold heart of yours into somethin’ good again.”

He placed the fawn down gently before he eyed the folded piece of paper. “Y’still writin’ those letters? Have they been helpin?’ Y’know, I thought about writin’ a couple myself.”

Something in his gut tells him that this letter..is meant for him.

He swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he reached for the piece of paper and picked it up with trembling fingers. He sees his name written on the outside, and his vision goes blurry with tears. “You..were gonna give this to me tomorrow when we said we were gonna meet at the Tipsy Bison?”

He slowly sinks down along the side of the bed, unfolds the letter and begins to read it silently.

Tommy, this is the third letter I have written thus far, so hopefully this comes across the way I have intended it to. Ever since we were just two little boys scraping our knees up on the playground, telling each other secrets, and holding each other tight when mom and dad would argue into the odd hours of the night, I always found myself being protective over you. I ain’t even sure if it had anything to do with age, and more to do with the fact that it’s been instilled in me since birth that I'm a natural protector. I’d do anything to keep you safe.

I’ve never told anyone this, but the day you told me that you wanted to join the army, and make a difference in the world, I wept. I soaked my pillow with my tears that very same evening cus’ I realized I couldn’t protect you anymore. You were eighteen, and ready to take on the world. Selfishly, I didn’t want you to go, and I know that war changed you. I know what it did to you, and you were no longer the little boy hiding under the covers from the thunder and lightning. You were molded into a man right before my eyes, but you’ve always been my little brother, and ain’t nothin’ gonna change that.

I know you blame yourself for the night that we lost Sarah. I still remember the grief in your eyes. You tried so hard. So fuckin’ hard, and I’m so sorry for what I became after she died.

A stray teardrop fell along the thin paper as the word ‘died’ began to blur from the sudden moisture.

You literally had to pry her cold body from my arms because I refused to let go. Even when we dug her a shallow grave near the woods she loved to hike in, you had to stop me from crawling into that goddamn hole with her.

24 hours. 1 day since the outbreak. 1 day without his baby girl

“She’ll be happy here, Joel. She gets to rest in her favorite place.” Tommy murmured as he set the shovels down next to the grass covered earth that would soon be dug up to create a shallow grave for Sarah to finally be laid to rest. The younger Miller brother hid his grieving behind a stoic face. He didn’t want Joel to see how much pain he was in. He wanted to be the strong one for once in his life, especially since he blamed himself for Sarah's death. If only he had been there sooner. If only he had acted quicker, maybe she would still be alive.

Joel was unmoving as he held his deceased daughter, who had long since grown cold and stiff in his arms. She was wrapped in a sheet, as Joel couldn’t bear to see her unmoving eyes any longer. He had shed his last tears, as he watched his brother begin to dig a shallow grave. As the minutes ticked by, Joel was realizing that after Sarah was to be buried, he no longer would be a father, and the thought made him feel queasy. What did he have to live for if he was no longer a parent? What was the point?

“Tommy..” Joel croaked, “I–can’t let her go.” He choked up as the weight of the world was beginning to press down on his shoulders. He held Sarah close to his heart where his chin came to rest upon her covered head. “Tommy, we–”

“Joel, we have to let her go. Brother, please. She’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do to bring her back. I’m sorry.” He was. If he could go back in time and take Sarah’s place, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Joel’s eyes began to glaze over with fresh tears as he began to frantically whisper to Sarah as if she could hear him from the other side. “S’okay baby girl. You’re okay. Daddy has you, and he’ll see you soon. I promise. I’m coming for you, baby girl.” He pressed a firm, promising kiss to her covered head before he slowly lowered himself onto his knees along the edge of the hole in the dirt. He could feel stomach acid rise up his throat at the thought of the earth, and mother nature consuming his baby girl. He wanted to go with her.

Tommy watched with a heavy heart as he watched his older brother gently place his baby girl into the shallow grave. His own tears began to silently fall as images of a newborn Sarah flashed in his mind. He remembered the pure joy and love that radiated from Joel the moment he got to hold his daughter for the first time. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

As Tommy willed himself to begin shoveling the dirt he dug up into the grave, he watched in horror as his grief-stricken brother nearly had crawled into the hole. He dropped the shovel in a haste as he grabbed ahold of the underside of Joel’s shoulders and yanked him back.

The soul-shaking, torturous, anguished sound that cascaded from Joel’s mouth, was one that chilled Tommy’s blood. It could only be described as a grieving parent refusing to let their only child go.

Tommy still has nightmares of it.

I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t just fuckin’ pull myself together for both of us. I know how scared you were, Tommy. I was scared too. I was terrified. I was supposed to be the big brother then. The one who had all the answers. Who could come up with a plan at the drop of a hat to keep his little brother alive. Instead, you had to fill that position. You stepped into that role because I gave you no other choice. If you didn’t force me to leave that spot where she died, I would have rotted there with her. I never thought for a moment about the pain that you were feeling. I lost a daughter that night, but you lost a niece, and a brother all in one night.

48 hours. 2 days since the outbreak. 2 days without his baby girl.

It was Tommy’s idea for him and Joel to return home to gather up as much food and supplies they could get their hands on. Joel was apprehensive, but Tommy reassured him that they wouldn’t have to stay long. So, Joel reluctantly agreed. Their neighborhood was dead silent with no signs of life to be found. The bombs that the government had dropped only impacted the major cities, and left the small neighborhoods untouched from their destruction. It would have just been another day if it weren’t for the familiar bodies scattered in the street. Both Tommy and Joel avoided looking at the deceased body of Nana Adler as they crossed their front yard.

“I’m gonna grab what I can from the garage, and then I'll meet you inside? Grab a couple of backpacks and stuff it with clothes, and anything else you think we might need. Okay, Joel?”

The older Miller brother could only meekly nod as a non-verbal response. He was too focused on remembering that he had stashed a revolver in his office drawer for safe keeping. At least it would be quick.

Tommy was unaware, clueless to Joel’s plan to end his life. He knew his brother was mourning, but he never had thought about the drastic measures he would take to be reunited with Sarah.

As Joel ascended up the stairs, memories of his life before the outbreak leaked into his mind. A five year old Sarah running down the stairs to avoid bath time after playing outside all day. Sticky with sugary sweet syrup from a popsicle, and dirt and twigs stuck in her head of curls. Joel patiently demanded that she needed a bath. Well, Sarah had other plans of course and Joel would have to catch her first.

He could hear her gleeful giggles now; almost sweet music.

Soon, baby girl. I promise.

His footsteps were soft, and undetected as he padded down the hall to his office area. His hand grasped the handle as he slowly turned it and pushed the door open with ease. Everything was right as he left it. Blueprints for a new project he and Tommy were working on. A school paper from Sarah that she had left for him to proof read. A stale cup of coffee. Tommy’s note tacked to the corkboard that Joel kept from when they were kids. A life preserved in time. He reached for the note as he gingerly plucked it from where it was pinned. He folded it carefully before slipping it into his pocket. He wanted to have a piece of his brother with him, always.

Joel didn’t feel nervous as he opened the file cabinet drawer that contained his concealed revolver. He greeted it like an old friend as he grasped it firmly in his palm. The coolness of the metal diffused his clammy skin. He could do it here, he thought silently. No, he wanted to be closer to Sarah. To be comforted by her familiarity. So, he left his office and went straight to her room.

As he brought the barrel of the gun to his temple, he felt calm. He felt ready. More ready than he had ever felt in his entire life. He felt sorry for leaving Tommy to fend for himself, but he knew that his brother would survive, and he’d be better off without him anyway.

As his finger hovered over the trigger, he observed Sarah's untouched room. From the crumpled sheets along her bed where he had tucked her in for the very last time, her discarded backpack, her posters, trophies from soccer, and all of her photographs. Photos of her and Joel. Her and Tommy. She was the happiest kid ever, and that’s how Joel wanted to remember her.

As his finger gradually applied pressure to the trigger, he flinched. The bullet missed, and grazed the right side of his temple. His right ear was profusely ringing as he dropped to the carpet like a bag of bricks. He could faintly hear Tommy’s shouts and footsteps racing up the stairs as blood slowly trickled down his face.

Tommy, I was selfish. I was selfish for wanting to take my life and leave you to fend for yourself. My baby brother. The same brother I swore to protect till my last dying breath. I was a coward, Tommy. A weak, selfish, pathetic coward. I wanted to take the easy way out. The cheap way. I just hope you still don’t hate me for it. I hope you don’t hate me for putting you through the trauma and pain of almost losing me too. Sometimes I wonder if my attempted suicide triggered your thirst for blood. As if I am the direct cause for the carnage you partook in when we joined Tess and her raider group. Sometimes I wonder if all those times that we murdered people, that you pictured me on the other end of the gun. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the brave big brother that you always believed me to be. I’m sorry that even over twenty years later, I’m not me. I’m not the Joel that you looked up to. I’m not sure if I'll ever be that version of myself again, but I am ever-so grateful that I am still your brother. Your flesh and blood.

I hope that one day you’ll be proud to be my brother again. Till then, I'll always have your back.

-Your big brother, Joel. The one that held you when things went bump in the night.

Tommy isn’t even aware of how much time has passed while he reads Joel’s words over till they're practically burned into his brain. He doesn’t feel the shifting of the coarse sheets, or see Joel’s fingers twitch at his side.

“Tommy..” Joel croaks, voice hoarse and barely audible.

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[slushiepizza]

I Love You, Just Like This

Guy/Honey (Redacted Audio)

Loving has never come easy for Honey. Physical affection nor words of affirmation has never been their forte, yet they desperately wanted Guy to know that they love him more than they could express.

Tags : Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Honey works at Vesta and Kayla is Honey's Coworker, Struggles with Affection/PDA, Swearing

also on ao3

notes : SDHBSHDB this is my first fanfic ever;; and I don't really know what I'm doing

Sheets of torrential rain poured down on Dahlia. Honey looked down upon their now-ruined shoes as puddles started to form under the side of the office building that they’d taken refuge in. They shifted from one foot to the other. It’d been a long, tiring day of work and they’d do anything to crawl under the covers and sleep, yet the late-August weather didn’t seem to be on their side. Sighing, they pulled their work blazer against their cold, miserable body. 

A voice came from beside them. “Damn, it still hasn’t stopped raining?” 

“Yeah. Been thirty minutes and no signs of slowing.” 

Kayla, fellow Vesta Distribution Co. employee, started typing on her phone, the light of the monitor glowed against her face. “Are you also taking an Uber, or-? We could share the ride if we happen to live in the same direction.” 

“Uh, no. Thanks for the offer, though. My boyfriend is coming. Although there’s no telling when he’ll be here. Traffic and all.” 

“Huh,” Their co-worker looked up from their phone. “Is he also from work, or?” 

Honey gave a dry laugh. “No, but, you’ve met him, remember. It’s Guy, my plus one at your engagement party?” 

“...Right. I don’t know, I just assumed that you were friends or something. No offense, but the two of you seemed distant, is all. And I never really pegged you to be the type for relationships.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I’m not sure, it’s your whole…vibe. I guess. You can come across as intimidating. Like, those new-hires you trained? Completely terrified of you. It’s like they’re trying not to shit their pants every time you give them feedback. Same thing with your boyfriend. It’s like you’re tense. You guys didn’t even hold each other’s hand or anything. That’s why I assumed you’re just friends. ” 

Honey tightened their grip on their work bag. “Really,” they said in disbelief, trying to not sound hurt.  “I don’t do it on purpose. And my criticisms were all constructive.” 

They ignored the second comment.

“I know,” Kayla reached out and patted them on the shoulder. “I mean, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re all that…imposing. Much. Anyway, my ride’s here. See you on Monday.” She took out an umbrella and walked away to the awaiting car. 

Honey was alone again, and it gave them all the time in the work to mull over their co-worker’s words. The bright, fluorescent lights of the skyscrapers of Dahlia’s Business District  made Honey feel small. As cars zoomed past, Kayla’s words echoed in their head. 

I just assumed that you were friends or something. The two of you seemed distant. 

It hit them like a pile of bricks. A dull, painful feeling wormed its way in their chest. The sound of rain against the pavement rang in their ears. 

“Honey!” 

They turned around to see him, and oh, how they ached. Guy fixed them with a toothy smile, and looked at them with more love than they deserved as he held the umbrella over their head. He giggled, “Aw, is my honey-baby cold? Tired, perhaps? Never fear, as your noble cavalier is here to rescue you.“ 

“Hey.” In the quiet of their car, his voice quieted to a whisper. “Long day at work?” 

“Yeah, it’s been a shitty day. I’m ready to pass out.” They cleared their throat  and mumbled. “Thanks, by the way. For picking me up.” 

“Of course. I’d never leave my amazing, beautiful, partner stuck in the rain. Alone, in the cold, craving the warm embrace of their sexy and handsome boyfriend.” 

“You shouldn’t have to. It’s late, and I know the shift at Max’s tired you out already.” 

Guy did look exhausted. Honey was well aware of how packed his schedule was, with the pitch meeting that ran all morning and his sixteen-hour shift at the pizza place. There were bags under his eyes, yet when he wasn’t looking at the road, his eyes still gazed at them so warmly. 

“You know that it’s nothing. You underestimate me, Honey! I’m very familiar with being tired, just like how you tired me out last night, eh-” 

“Guy!” They said, exasperated, yet a laugh escaped their lips. “You’re so stupid.” 

“Oh, you love me for it,” he sang as his right hand rested against Honey’s thigh, searching for theirs. Guy’s hand was warm as his fingers interlocked with theirs and gave a reassuring squeeze. 

Silence soon fell over the two of them like a blanket, and all Honey could think was the way the light from passing cars outside the window illuminated Guy’s soft features. His brows furrowed in concentration, yet his eyes were unbearably kind. His mouth curved into a relaxed smile like this was easy. Like loving them was second nature.

It was always like this, with Guy. They knew that he’d do anything for them, things beyond being stuck in bad-weather and traffic when he could’ve been resting after working all day. 

A heavy feeling washed over them. Did Guy know that they’d do anything for him, too? 

Honey loved Guy. More than anything. Yet this much love for someone was uncharted territory for them,  the vulnerable feeling wormed under their skin uncomfortably. A familiar line of thought came, one that they have visited and revisited multiple times whenever they thought about their boyfriend. 

Guy deserved someone who could love him properly. 

They knew this about Guy: when he loved someone, he’d love them with his whole being. It’s the boundless, unrestrained sort of love, with nothing held back. Everyone in his life would attest to that, even if they did so with an eyeroll and sigh. 

A memory came to mind. Back in college, when they weren’t dating yet, Honey had a horrible fever. It’d been their second night at Dahlia, and they were stuck in bed. Guy, the college-assigned roommate they barely knew at the time, stayed by their side with a bowl of chicken noodle soup when all of his friends were out on freshman-year parties. 

Caring for someone never came naturally for Honey. They were used to being there for themselves, and they just drifted. They came and went from people’s lives without saying a word, only making their presence known when necessary. 

It finally dawned on them; they should try harder, for Guy’s sake.

 Acting so indifferent towards him to the point that their coworker never knew that they were in a relationship with him was a clear sign that they haven’t been putting enough effort to love him. The pangs of guilt clawed at their insides, and they desperately wished that they didn’t have so many hard edges. 

“We’re hooome. Now it’s time for a shower and later we can be snug as a bug in a rug-,” Guy turned to look at them and paused. 

“...Honey? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

They swallowed the lump in their throat. They felt so useless, here they were, being a burden to him again. Guy looked at them with a concerned expression.

”We don’t have to talk about it right now, if you don’t want to. It’s just that- There’s something’s on your mind, isn’t there?

Honey averted their gaze. Please don’t look at me like that. 

“Guy,” they started, trying to force the words out of their mouth.“Do you want me to…do more PDA?” 

Honey was horrified. It definitely was not how they wanted to sound. It’s embarrassing, almost juvenile. 

Guy didn’t laugh. His thumb ran soothing circles in the back of their palm. 

“Honey, no.” he frowned. “Where’d that come from?” 

“Well, a coworker said that she assumed that we were friends. Presumably because we seemed… distant. And she’s right, you know, it is a little weird that we don’t really do that when other people’s around. All because I’m afraid of people staring and I just- can't.” Honey felt warm tears started rolling down their face. 

“And fuck, Guy,” Honey choked back a sob. “I want people to know that I love you. I want you to know that I love you so damn much.” 

“Honey,” his voice sounded hurt. “Can I hold you?” 

As they nodded, he reached for them over the centre console and wrapped his arms around them. 

“I know, Honey. I know. You love me in ways that I can’t even describe. And you don’t have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with to prove that to others. ” 

His honey buried their face in his chest, staining his shirt, yet he paid little mind. “You gave me more love than I deserve. I know you love me because you stayed with me when I struggled to finish my manuscripts. Because you told me to rest when I was sick and refused to stay still.” 

“You were such a little shit back then,” they sniffed. 

“I know!” he laughed.” And you laid down with me until I fell asleep, even when you had a lot of work to do.” 

“I have no doubt that you love me, Honey,” Guy tightened his hold on them. “And I love you, just like this. Just as you are.” 

The rain outside the car slowed into a light drizzle, and in the stillness of the night, there were no witnesses to how Honey cupped the side of Guy’s face and kissed him. 

[goodolddumbbanana]

Even though you hit the nail right on the head about Puppet and her actions, I fear some people are more mad at EAPS Sun than they would be at her. I can sort of get it, but not really?

Yeah... I can totally understand. People usually hate characters who are annoyed more than the one who literally murdered and slaughtered tons of innocent victims. (*Cough*cough* Bloodmoon, Eclipse)

And not to offend, but with people like Puppet, they just love to see how she keeps Girl boss to win and being overpowering with anything, and they don't care whether her actions hurt anyone's feelings or not.

Sunrise is selfish for sure. And I would gladly see if Sunrise and Moondrop are working together to change these circumstances they are forced to be in. But like I say, god forbid if a Sun wants to be selfish without being criticized.

Not only Puppet and Eclipse force their way into fixing Sunrise and Moondrop (good for Moondrop I guess), they also belittled and well... Bullied Sun a lot. Like they respect Moondrop, but with Sun? They treated him like some spoiled hypocritical brat, for the things he couldn't control.

And I know alot of people think Sunrise is annoying and feels awful for Moondrop, but for me, it really feels like some kind of fanfic for Eclipse to be the protagonist on his way to heal himself and resolve and make friends with Moondrop, with Sunrise is the main antagonist.

They keep pushing the idea Sun is the bad one while he just tried to get some sense control for himself.

And don't forget he is really enthusiastic about the idea they are separated. Which means, if they have the patience to talk to Sun without letting their hatred, their annoying getting in their way, I am sure this Sunrise is willing to listen.

But NOOooo, they have to make Sunrise the bad guy. Because, you need to love people who hurt you. And it is wrong for you to not forgive them if they don't mean to do their harm for you or if it is just an accident.

Every action has consequences. Sure Moondrop doesn't want to be in Sun's head, and it really sucks for both of them, especially for Moondrop who couldn't get out. But he still hurts Sun, and he knows it too.

(And I don't blame him for feeling bitter, but still, this is his actions leading to the consequences. Sun still feels pain and any wrong Moondrop did could hurt Sun physically the most. We may feel mercy for a bear if it is dead. But if the bear killed your family, can you still forgive it, even if it doesn't know anything?)

So I am not blaming Sunrise for being selfish, because he is still freshly made, he didn't know better. Like when you touch fire and it burns your hand, you will never want to touch it again. Sun doesn't know who Moon is, and like Eclipse says, sure Sun has seen some of Moon's memories, but let's think really carefully about it. Moondrop still has Killcode, which means, he still killed kids, or invaders. So Sunrise must see it too.

Imagine you see some visions of your hands reapping someone's throat, not a pretty view.

And this really affects how the viewers see Our Sun. Because right now, literally, people justify how our Sun was treated before.

They keep saying Our Sun was so annoying, and poor Moon, and because Our Sun is refusing to share, leading Moon went crazy and made Sun's life a living hell.

Which is not true. Sun was freshly made like Sunrise too, but he tried to listen to Moon, and even after the attempt tortured of Moon, he still willingly gave Moon a chance to become brother, to be better.

It just... We finally have people's sympathy for Sun after so long, having them finally acknowledged that Sun was treated like shit.

But with this new dimension, everything turned back to round 1. Sun is a coward bullied meanie for Moon and we should feel happy to see him suffer.

[yoke9494]

Baby Bunny🐇 pt2

Sorry for the wait! It's a bit short. I've been getting my health in check so I haven't had alot of time to write. More coming soon! ♥️

Read Pt.1 Here.

_______________________

Sleep.

If you stay asleep you wouldn't feel the cold, if you sleep you wouldn't feel the fear or hunger that painfully ran through your body.

Sleep.... Why couldn't you just sleep!!

"Go to sleep my baby carrot. Tomorrow is a new dawn, the sunshine will chase away all the darkness.."

You began to weep when you swore you heard your mother's voice echo in your floppy ears.

Her soft voice was like a soothing melody that chased away the awfulness of the day, the fear of what goes bump in the night.

You curled in on yourself even tighter as you imagined her in her favorite rocking chair. Her spotted ears blending into her hair the same ways your's did. The smile she wore as she told your favorite little bed time story about the sun. You and all your siblings sinking into the mattress, your eyelids became heavier as her voice sang you all to sleep.

Oh how you missed it, being a child, at this moment.

You felt someone vibrate,no it was someone purring.. A heavy hand trying to get all the tangles out of your hair. "Y/n? You need to get up and eat what they gave us.. You'll get yourself sick.."

You didn't want to. Your body has given up..  "This is all sick Lucy.. Sick."

Who was Lucy?...

Lucy was the cat from before. He had become more talkative and gave you his name when you and him were shoved in another metal cage, this time together. Eventually you gave him your name as well-- but that was about it.

Oh how you just wanted to die.. How you just wished to disappear-- things had gotten so bad since being brought to this new hell....

All because you didn't want to eat. Just one meal-- you skipped only one!

Your stomach was in knots, even the smell of the plain rice had you nauseous. But that wasn't a good enough excuse for the vile men around here, you were dragged out of the cage by your ears for being so ungrateful.

The dirty man had rolled you over and began to paw at your soft skin with his rough hands. He was going to use you like those other men used that poor songbird.

No matter how much your cried, scratched, and kicked. That only seemed to excite him even more!

But before his pants could drop down to his ankles. Your body jerked from a violent bang. A warm liquid rolled down your back..

He was shot right between his eyebrows. You don't know who he was, only the fact that he was the same man that pointed at your rusted cage days before.

He didn't say a word to you as he shoved you back into the cage. He didn't even seem disgusted that was was touching you while you were covered in another man's blood..

Only for him to come back after an hour to hose you down and throw you into another cage with Lucy.

And now here you are, slowly shutting down together..

His purring got a little louder as he curled up next to you. A way of trying to comfort the both of you and for warmth. "The sun will chase away the darkness. It'll be okay."

You let out a choked breath.. And turned to him with tears in your eyes. "What did you say?"

He shrugged. "The sun will chase away the darkness. It's stupid but it's from a story my grandmother used to read me. I guess it means there will be a brighter day tomorrow. And all the darkness of the previous day will fade away if you keep looking forward.. I know it's shit but it's all I got."

You nodded. "The story of the sun and the shadows.. My mother used to read it to me too. It's what I've been thinking about also.---"

The air became still as you both held in your breath. The sound of faded voices and muffled popping bounced off the walls.

A loud screech made both you and Lucy push down on your ears. Your teeth ground together as everything became louder.

Those popping noises? Gun shots..

Those voices? We're so many different tones screaming at on another. But your ears picked up on one.. The tone was foreign.. Broken English?

"You took my money and only send half shipment. I'm missing two!"

The voice began to speak in a language you didn't know.. You were so invested in the conversation that you didn't hear heavy footsteps walking down the concrete steps.

Until Lucy brought you closer to his body and hissed. His claws extracted and his back became stiff as it arched.

You nearly screamed when your eyes locked onto low lazy purple eyes. A man with gelled black and purple hair stood outside your cage. His slited eyes narrowed in on you as he began to purr.

Lucy out one arm around you and clawed with the other at the cage to get him away. The man didn't move an inch, he gave you a lazy smile and chuckled under his breath.

He stared at the two of you before letting out a happy sigh and stand up straight. You saw a tattoo on his neck as he crained it back to yell up the stairs.

There was that different language again... You wished you knew what he was saying.

More footsteps echoed as they came down the stairs. One by one new figures came into the room. Another male cat made Lucy almost feral. This one had the same purple eyes as the other, only this male seemed bored and had longer hair...

Next was another male, only a dog hybrid.. His black ears blended into his hair.. His eyes were of different colors-- one completely white with a large scar slicing through it.

The next figure sent fear running through your body..

Slowly he approached the cage. The closer he got, the more you huddled yourself closer to Lucy..

A snake hybrid...

He had long white hair that reached his shoulders. He had the same tattoo as the two other males, only on the shaved side of his head.

His slited black eyes looked evil as he smiled down at you and Lucy. His forked tongue flicked out to wet his lips..

He spoke to the others as he pointed at you. You didn't understand...

Lucy hissed when one of the male cats reached for the lock. It was the bored looking one with longer hair.

"What's happening?"

Lucy kicked at the cage and held onto you tighter. The other male stepped back---

Lucy let out a low growl. "They're going to take you.."

You felt sick.. wait-- how did Lucy know that? Could he understand them.

*Click.*

You both slightly jumped-- Lucy became stiff? Why-- looking behind him you gasped.

A gun was against the back of Lucy's head.-- a new male in another purple suit-- Wait! Your tail twitched when he bent down to get a look in the cage. He-- his white ears were popping out of pink pretty hair. They slightly bent as he peeked into the cage.

Another bunny! Someone who couldn't tear you apart with their teeth. Someone who wasn't a natural predator to your kind--

His nose scrunched up and he sneered at you. He looked eat you as if you were disgusting... He stood up and spoke to the others-- You understood one word! Or should you say one name? You heard the name Mikey a few times---

Lucy let out a pained whine and slumped against your body. You nearly fell forward from his dead weight. What did they do to him?! He had a  thin trail of blood coming from the side of his neck.

You could see the lazy eyed cat holding a needle!

You held onto Lucy when the bored cat began to open the cage. You tried to shake him awake but it was no use. There was no where to run-- you couldn't hide..

A burning sensation started at your neck and traveled to the end of your spine. A familiar feeling flooded your muscles, you felt so heavy as you tried to move. You Tried to shoot past between this mans legs to run! But the world became blurry and the last thing you saw was the other bunny looking down at you with amused eyes. The last thing you locked your eyes on was his smile. It stretched like it belonged to a mad man. Diamond shaped scars crinkled at the edges of said smile.

It was frightening.

Everything became dark. All sounds became muffled, except for that name. They were speaking about the same person again..

Mikey...?

...........

tag list: @yuyu12mm @acabis

[cultofdixon]

Patching up the holes in your thoughts

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • After finding a safe space to hold up, given everyone’s injuries, Daryl did his best to keep you safe and remind you…you’re not in that dark place anymore • ANGST/SFW • TW: Hallucinations / Head injury / Blood loss / Anxiety / Concussion

Requested by: Anon

She’s okay we’ve got her

Yeah that spill she took was awful

Did you see the amount of blood?

Guys, Daryl is still in the room. He doesn’t have to relive what happened

Siddiq’s right. Let’s get Y/N patched up

Y/N jolts awake in one of the infirmary rooms behind the main room where all the procedures and check ups happen. She anxiously looked around the room feeling a throbbing pain in her head.

The moment she sat up, Siddiq has stepped in to check on her and gave out an obvious sigh of relief.

“Thank god you’re alright”

“Wha…what happened?”

“You were helping with the bridge when one of the Saviors carrying some planks tuned too quickly knocking you in the back of your head. You had caught yourself but given parts of the floor was still being installed, your foot got caught and you went head first into the concrete.”

“Wow…that’s comedic”

“Mm. If you had woken up and brushed it off? Then maybe. But you were out cold and lost a lot of blood.” Siddiq frowns being careful with her when getting the blood pressure cuff on her as Y/N noticed a few bandages scattered on her arm.

“Did you fail the first stick or something?”

“No, again, you lost a lot of blood. So after you got stitches and bandaged, Daryl donated his blood” He states taking the cuff off when it was normal and checked the bandages to make sure they weren’t irritating. “Did you know he’s a universal blood type?”

“Yes, and what his brother did with it.” She frowns feeling the discomfort. “Don’t you dare abuse that fact”

“Hey, if he agrees to it in the future. Then cool, but the second he says no? Ain’t gonna do it. Besides, you’re the most recent serious case we had.” Siddiq sat on the edge of the bed taking out his flashlight pen, something Rosita found and gifted him. He checks the reactivity in her eyes watching her retract a bit to rub her eyes. “I’ll close the blinds, you could have a migraine from being out for a while. But I’d like to keep you here for a few days. Don’t want you going home where your room is upstairs”

“I could sleep on the couch…but I am enjoying a bed”

“Plus, I’m upstairs in case of anything” Siddiq smiles a little. “And Daryl desperately wants to be in here but Rick and Aaron have been keeping him out”

“Why?”

“He saw everything happened. He was stressed out bringing you here, stressed out watching me assess your injuries, and wouldn’t let me work until I’ve checked everything. So he got kicked out”

“Can he come see me?”

“I’d like to have you try and sleep for a while longer. Or at least an hour to do another neuro check…then he can come in”

“Mm…okay” Y/N was disappointed but never refused doctor’s orders.

The thing is, when he left, she was afraid to go back to sleep. Y/N wasn’t one to fear death but hearing what happened freaked her out. She tried her best to remember it for herself but there were holes in her thoughts.

So she did what was asked…and tried falling back asleep. It didn’t take long.

But something felt off…

“Move!” The familiar voice yells over her making her jolt unconsciously.

“I didn’t do anythin’ man. She was in the goddamn way”

“THE FUCK YOU SAY?!”

“Alright alright! There’s something more important to handle right now! ____ get your fucking shit together and get her to Siddiq” The other familiar voice interrupted the other and the unfamiliar one.

The unfamiliar loomed over her unconscious form as the blank expression that was formed on the blurry body, drove a chill down her spine.

“She’s dead”

“NO SHE FUCKIN’ AINT”

The voice she knew continued to argue with this unfamiliar that became voiceless while the scene moved.

“Wow she’s uh. Really bleeding” a new facial voice came into the channel while the warmth that came from this being brought sensations to her physical body. Like she’s felt this before.

“I can see that. She hit her head, but it doesn’t fucking help that this bastard hit her with a plank that knocked her already—then off balance—and then into the fucking concrete”

“___—“

Daryl

“Daryl, please. Your frustration won’t help this situation”

“It hasn’t on the way over here. Tell me where yea need me ___—“

Siddiq

“Get him out of here unless he’s going to be useful” Siddiq snaps applying pressure to the sound as the familiar took Daryl’s bicep feeling him pull away. Which lead to the familiar full on grabbing Daryl and taking him out of there.

Rick

“She’s okay, we’ve got her” Siddiq reassures Rick when he returned to help him. Soon another familiar came rushing through with another that could help with their infirmary experience.

“That spill she took was awful, not to be gruesome about it. But it was like a fruit being thrown at the ground until it exploded”

“That’s fucking vivid ____”

“Did you see the amount of blood?!”

“___—-! ___—-!”

Aaron

Rosita

“Daryl is still within goddamn earshot. Watch what you’re fucking saying”

“Ricks right. Daryl doesn’t have to relive this, okay?” Siddiq made his partner Rosita take a hold of applying pressure while he had Aaron get an IV in while he did a quick stitch job. “Thank god”

“What?”

“I can see her skull”

“WHY IS THAT A GOOD THING?!”

“BECAUSE I CAN SEE ITS NOT CRACKED OR BROKEN OPEN LIKE A COCONUT!” Siddiq snapped out of anxious habit when others yelled at him. Rick held his hands up defensively before watching Aaron tape the IV needle in place and the yelling triggered the archer to come in.

“Ah hell no!”

“If she’s gonna die I ain’t—“

“She’s not going to die!”

“I ain’t fucking leaving her regardless!” Daryl snaps and no one said another word, all that happened was Rick and Aaron sharing a glance and then quickly taking the archer that fought against the two, back out of the room. His anxiety would only make everything worse.

Then a sudden deep breath escaped Y/N and that startled Rosita and Siddiq, but once he took notice that that action helped her start breathing regularly. Overall relief occurred before the work continued.

“She’s dead”

The unfamiliar voice startled her awake from her unconscious state. Y/N sat up finding Siddiq and Rosita were no longer in the room and all there was was this unfamiliar being with a monotoned voice, compared to how it was on the bridge.

“Go away…”

“She’s dead”

“No…No no no I’m not” Y/N whined, holding her head as she tried to get up and leave. Only to realize she wasn’t in an infirmary bed or in that building anymore.

She’s been moved. She has memory of this. But currently she was in an old state of mind that her concussed state from the main injury was starting to trigger the past issue.

“Please…go away” She cried as she stumbled out of the bed making the thud noticeable to others within the house.

“She’s dead. She lost a lot of blood. How could anyone recover—-“

“Y/N?! Y/N oh my god” Daryl opened the door making this image of an unfamiliar being fade away, indicating she was snapping back into her reality.

But she didn’t know that.

“Hey hey hey, you’re okay. What happened? Did yea fall?” Daryl kept asking as he tried to hold her but she retracted at first. “Y/N…”

“You’re not here…this guy wants to hurt me. You’re not here. You’re not here” She sobbed, and it wasn’t going to be an entirely gentle approach to get her to realize that it was Daryl.

The way she started to corner herself in the room continuing to sob shutting her eyes tight. Daryl frowns trying his best not to fall apart at the sight as he quietly brings himself closer sitting on his knees before her. It was a risk, but he carefully took one of her hands feeling the first retraction—but she felt the familiar warmth from before. But different.

“You comfortable?” His voice was always so soothing and his touch was ever so gentle when it came to her fragile state. “I can get you another blanket”

No I’m okay

“Alright, but I’m stayin’ close.” He smiles bringing the blanket over her before sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand into his. Rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

You know I won’t break if you leave

“I don’t wanna leave yea”

Can you at least do something when I’m asleep?

“Mmm. You tryin’ to kick me out, sunshine?” Daryl scoffs playfully but he couldn’t help but find himself admiring her smile and laugh again. It was only three days after the accident, and he missed it. He missed it so much.

Of course not, I would love for you to lay with me a while. But I am currently out of service. You can still help rebuild the communities

“Fine. But right now I’m staying” Daryl smiles bringing her hand to gently rest on his cheek so that he could feel that he was there.

“I’m right here, sunshine” His voice was a low whisper that made her re-open her eyes, her blurry tear filled eyes as her thumb gently brushes his cheek feeling the familiar scruffiness he had. “Y/N…”

“I’m sorry…I-I don’t…I don’t know what happened”

“You suffered a head injury…Siddiq warned about your concussion being a bit bad” Daryl frowns bringing himself closer as she brought her other hand to his other cheek. “Hallucinations could happen…not likely but I just…shouldn’t have assumed it not happening”

“…I’m okay now…I think”

“‘M here now. You can’t kick me out cuz imma just stick with yea every day until yer better”

“Please?” Y/N felt the tears fell as he gently brushed them away before bringing his arms around her making her move hers around his neck.

The archer carefully stood while holding his girl and making her legs wrap around his torso until he moved to the bed. Helping her lay down before bringing himself to her other side and laying with her. She carefully brought herself to rest her head against him, making him tense slightly afraid if he moved he’ll hurt her. But she kept her head on his shoulder, part of it where the stitches weren’t.

“I’m never leaving, okay?”

“If…if it happens again” The fear in her voice made Daryl worry as he looks at her waiting. “Will you help me out?”

“I’ll always bring you back, sunshine”

[transparentkinks]

When Nora is depressed

I've been bedrotting for like a week now and I'm writing to cope with it. My brain works great :)

Hancock always helps.

“I just decided not to go.” Nora spoke firmly through the door. She was sitting on the ground leaning against the door. 

“Oh come on!” Piper kicked the door. “You’ve hardly come out all week!” 

Despite her protests, Nora could hear her walking away from her door. She let out a sigh of relief and stood to sink back into her mattress. 

Ever since she blew up the institute she’s been trying to let the celebration blow over. Her room has proven the most practical sanctuary. The one celebration she was pulled into was enough for her. For the rest of the commonwealth this was the best thing to happen in a very long time. She knew she should be celebrating. People were calling her a hero again. She didn't feel like one. 

She’d killed her son. She had no real family left. She knew the child synth her son created was waiting desperately to hear from her. He thought she was his mom. He was terrified that he was going to die. Her son created robots capable of feeling, gave them pain and fear, made one a child. What a cursed existence. Looking at him too long freaked her out. She knew she had to get her shit together. He was terrified she was going to die. Everyone thought something was wrong with her. She needed to be a mom, to be a general, to be something other than the husk she is now. 

Maybe they’d all be better off if she did die. What use was she? Some particularly capable monster. Able to cut a path through the commonwealth straight to her son, get close enough to wipe him and his legacy from the face of the earth. Who was she, but the mother of monsters? Another old world plague that won’t die. Another following in the legacy of her generation, poisoning the world for those that come after. The word hero made her feel sick. 

She’d found a mirror, mostly in tact. Hung it over her dresser. She’d break it by now if it wasn’t such a rarity. She looked so different now compared to before the war. So many new scars, more tanned. She couldn’t shave anymore. She had wrinkles and grey hairs from the stress. She felt disgusting, inside and out. She never felt clean, she was always a mess. Her body disgusted her. It just reminded her of the monster she made, and all the people she killed to learn the extent of it. She was a horrible mother, a worse leader. 

She thinks Nate would be disgusted with what she’d become. She wished Shawn just left her to die in that pod with the rest of the vault. She didn’t know what she could do now. Everyone needed something from her, needed her to be something. She’d practically started a cult and she didn’t even have it in her to actually run it competently. How many people died for her because she couldn’t keep her nose out of the commonwealth’s business? How many good people risked their lives on the daily at her whim? She wasn’t sure she could do it anymore. She felt like a monster. 

“Nora!” She could hear Hancock holler over his pounding at the door. 

“I’m not feeling well, just go away!” She yelled through her door, but before she could stand and brace the door to get her point across, he’d already kicked down her door. “Hancock! What the fuck?!” 

“Shit-” He sighed, taking in her and her room before striding up to her with a frown and grabbing her face. She grabbed at his wrists and he sighed. His grip wasn’t harsh, but he didn’t let her pry his hands away. “Nora, you look awful.”

“Gee, thanks” She sighed, rolled her eyes. Just what she needed. 

“I mean you look like you’ve barely slept in days. No one has seen you leave your room in days, you’ve only been talking through your door, and we don’t even know if you’re eating.” He shot her a pointed look, which she made sure to avoid by looking at the wall. “Nora what is going on?” 

“I’m just not feeling well-”

“That’s bullshit Nora and you know it. You can’t just hole up in your room and avoid it. You gotta talk to someone about whatever’s goin’ on. We’ve tried giving you space and clearly that ain’t working’” He sighed, thumbing at her cheek. “But me an’ the rest, we can’t just sit by and let you disappear like this.” 

He let go of her face, grabbed her hand and sat at the edge of her bed. She followed suit, looking down at her hand in his. “I don’t even know what to say” she sighed, pulled her legs close and hugged them with her free arm. 

“Then just talk, anything you’re thinking. I’ll just listen, okay?” She chanced a glance at his face. She looked away again quickly. He was looking at her, and he was frowning. 

“I just feel disgusting” she sighed. He started running his thumb over the back of her hand and she had to suppress a shiver. She opted to press her forehead to her knees and close her eyes. Try and ground herself. “I can’t look at what he made, Shawn, without wanting to breakdown. And he needs a mom so bad, and I want to be a mom. I thought I wanted to be a mom, but I look at what my son did and-” She was gripping her pants tight. “What kind of mother am I? How many people did I kill, how many died or risked their lives just for me to find out what kind of monster he was? What I made. What kind of leader am I? Running around fixing my own consequences and being called a hero for it?” 

“Nora, that’s-”

“My whole generation, people talk about before the war like some mystical past, but we’re the reason the world is like this. The mutants, ferals, synths, half of that shit was being made just so we could have more”

“Nora-”

“We just poisoned the world.” She felt him squeezing her hand, his other on her shoulder. “Who the hell am I to mess with the world any more? A monster or the mother of them, I never should have stepped out of that vault. I should have died with the bo-”

“Nora!” He sounded angry. The second she lifted her head to look at him he grabbed her face and pulled her to him. Suddenly she had no choice but to look him in the eye, and it made her heart do something strange meeting his gaze. “You-” He pressed his forehead to hers, closed his eyes and took a weary sigh. “Nora you’re the best thing to happen to the commonwealth in a long time.” He leaned back and looked her in the eye, cut her off with a glare when he saw her open her mouth. “You never got a chance to raise your kid, and he tried to play games with you and the whole commonwealth because of it. I just don’t believe he would turn out like that if you raised him. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve watched you try so hard to be a good mother.”

“But I-” 

“No! Nora, you didn’t do shit. I’ve only ever seen you try to make the best of a bad situation. You faced down shit most people wouldn’t have dreamed of and survived, just to find your kid. And if you ask me, everyone here is better off for it. I ain’t ever seen you kill someone who didn’t have it coming” 

She closed her eyes and sighed. ”I mean it. Every life you took made the commonwealth a safer place. In case you forgot, you rebuilt the minutemen after everyone thought they were dead, and you restructured it so, I believe and I know you hope it will go on when you can’t lead anymore.”

“I don’t know” She mumbled. 

“Sunshine-, look at me” She opened her eyes reluctantly. The look he was giving her felt like he was gripping her heart and squeezing. 

“People can travel safely now, people have living standards like nothing these people have seen. You raised cities. Nora, do you understand how hard it was for some people just to get food and shelter before you showed up? I thought I was doin’ good with the bunkhouse in goodneighbor but you’re building houses. With power and plumbing. People have privacy, safety, fucking comforts, people who were sleeping in ditches before you showed up. It's not your fault your family got picked for a vault, It's not your fault pre war powers played with your life as much as everyone else’s. Its not your fault the world is fucked and people are cruel. I can’t say I understand what you’re dealing with right now, but I know someone who needs a reality check when I see one. You’re not a bad person Nora. You’re a damn hero.”

“I don’t want to be” She sobbed out. He was thumbing at her cheek, brushing tears away. “I can't be a hero again, its not-”

“You don’t get to choose whether to be a hero or not Nora. It's just what you become when you help people enough, especially when it comes to killing.” He pressed his forehead back to her’s. “Trust me, its usually the deeds that haunt us the most that turn people into heroes.” 

“It feels wrong-” She sighed. 

“I get that sunshine” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “But if you ask me, if anyone deserves the title it's you. I don’t know how you manage it but you’re a good leader. People fight for you and what you’ve given them because they've seen what you can do, and they believe in what you’re building.”

“I don’t know how to be that, if I can still be that” She raised her hands to his wrists. Touching him felt grounding. 

“But you’ve already been that. I don’t know what more you think you need to be, but I think you can take a solid break now. If you need time, or if you can’t get around to liking synth Shawn, I don’t think anyone is gonna hold it against you. It ain’t fair what he did to that kid or to you. He’s got support here, you know Codsworth Ada and Curie fawn over him, and you know Macreedy Nick Danse and I will be there for him. It's gonna be okay for both of you. Just, don’t go dealing with it alone and probably not eating for days.” Nora nodded in his grip. 

“I’m sorry” She knew she was still crying. 

“You’re okay. We just care about you, ya’ know? We know you’re from the past and all that but you got a life here, now, with us. We can’t have you drifting off into the past.” She nodded again, and he pulled her into a hug. “We should go out tonight like you said you would. 

“I really don’t wanna” She whined. 

“We don’t gotta go right now, but you’re not staying in here all night.” He spoke firmly. 

“Okay…” She sighed.

“And you’re not gonna be moping in here alone”. Hancock added. She hummed in response. 

“Just hold me for a while?” She requested. 

“Of course sunshine”

[not-without-my-oreos]

Hey look, it’s me, back with another fic brought you by Being Gay.

Being Gay: Women. All women. Fuck.

Title: Familiar Encounter

Pairing: Cabenson (Olivia Benson x Alex Cabot)

Genre: Uh, Smut. Sorry.

Rating: M

Summary: Olivia and Alex have an arrangement.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. Obviously.

Opener

There’s nothing quite like the feel of someone’s hand running down your body, their lips pressing to your neck, and that little whisper in your ear that makes your entire body shudder with excitement. There’s nothing like a breathless kiss or being pinned to a wall. That overwhelming feeling that washes over, the hand that grasps your throat. It’s all worth it just for that final climax.

Familiar Encounter

Alex: Well, my day has been awful. Want to grab a drink?

Olivia: I gotta work late. What happened?

Alex: Judge threw out the Hammond case. Fin is pissed with me, I just need to relax.

Olivia: Ah, shit, sorry Al. I won't be outta here until ten. Raincheck?

Alex: Sure, I'll see you tomorrow.

Alex sighed and threw her phone down on the coffee table. The blonde settled back on her fabric couch and looked out of the large window it was facing. Her eyes glanced at the New York City skyline, offices still being worked in, and apartments with the slight sign of life on a Thursday night. Alex sighed once more, her eyes feeling heavy from the day, but she wasn't tired. It was barely eight in the evening. Usually, she worked late, but after losing against an opponent she considered extremely inferior to her skill in the courtroom. Maybe she was having an off day? She woke up that morning feeling uneasy about the case, an unusual sensation for the great Alexandra Cabot of the District Attorney's Office. Alex was quite often feared by some defense attorneys. She has made a name for herself in the New York law scene and even intimidated the other prosecutors. It was a lonely life. Aside from scaring away anyone that came into contact, those who didn't fear her were cops and most of them didn't enjoy drinking with her, especially when she lost their case. The only person who gave her any form of friendship beyond the means of what she could do for them was Olivia Benson.

The two hated each other at first, Olivia didn't agree with Alex joining their team ten years ago, but she soon warmed to the new ADA. Alex enjoyed their Friday night ritual, going for a drink, dinner, and whatever else happened after. No one seemed to make her smile quite like Olivia Benson. She enjoyed those moments when she felt like she wasn't just an ADA. She was a friend. During her time in the programme, Alex felt lost being away from Olivia. She wanted nothing more than to pick up her phone and hear her voice but she was trapped in suburban Oklahoma. Oh, the tragedy. She only returned to her old life for a day before being whisked away once more. Away from everyone she knew, away from Olivia. When she was finally allowed to return to her normal life, this time for good, she didn't know how to approach Olivia… so, she didn't. She hid away behind a new job, a new apartment, and a new fiancé she didn't want. She was eventually placed back on sex crimes, not by her own choice. “If anyone can work with those detectives, it’s you.” Jack McCoy’s demands were evident. After Novak was suspended, SVU went through lawyer after, lawyer after lawyer. None of them seemed to stick around long enough to make a small drop in the large ocean those detectives sailed through. The detectives of the Manhattan SVU were different from other precincts. They had pride, courage, and genuine care for the victims. They had a moral need to do what was right and that often conflicted with ADAs who would rather do the bare minimum.

Alex pushed herself up from the couch, she pulled off her black blazer and tossed it on the coffee table before making her way into the adjoining kitchen. Alex wasn’t much of a chef she admitted in open court to setting fire to her kitchen back in the late 90s. Everyone Alex socialised with knew of her rich upbringing in Upstate New York, she was raised on a palate of lobster, steak, and perfectly cooked duck but she couldn’t stomach anything other than Kraft Mac’n’Cheese with butter, Cup Noodles (the good ones from Japan), and whatever takeout menu she could get her starving hands on. Once the Starbucks down the street opened, it was a game changer. Coffee whenever she wanted, and protein boxes she could take to work. Finally, she could improve her diet and step away from carbs, carbs, and more carbs, but the mere thought of kale made her gag. Alex didn’t have a selective palate… nor was she a picky eater, really, she just liked the foods that brought her comfort even if they came in a blue and yellow box.

Alex opened her fridge and pulled out the salad box from yesterday’s dinner.

“If I’m going to have carbs and cheese, I should probably have something green…” She muttered to herself as she walked over to the kitchen counter and placed down the plastic container.

Alex reached for the cupboard in front of her, pulled it open and retrieved one of the many Kraft boxes that sat on the shelf. As Alex opened the box, something hung in the air. The blonde swallowed hard as her breath became shallow. Her ears twitched as her eyes glanced to the left, but before she could turn she was pinned against the counter. A body pressed up against from behind. One arm around her waist, the other around her mouth. Alex’s eyes widened with fear as she panted against the hand. This was her worst nightmare, someone breaking into her apartment and taking control over her and she could do nothing about it. Alex feared the worst as her eyes scattered from left to right, her mind racing with the identity of her attacker. Could it be one of Velez’s followers seeking revenge after seven years? Could it be a disgruntled perp she put away years prior? Alex wanted to scream but she was frozen to the spot. The hand gripped her abdomen tighter and all she could do was squeeze her eyes shut. She could hear her heart racing in her ears as she felt whoever it was lean into her ear.

“Hands on the counter, Cabot.” The familiar softly spoke with a strong demanding tone behind it. A warm puff of breath against her ear and suddenly - everything changed for her.

Her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt those lips trail down her neck. She did as she was instructed. Any fear she had running through her veins was now replaced with a lustful need as a shockwave ran through her body and straight to her core. She could still feel those lips against her neck, her skin reacted with a gentle tingle forcing a moan to escape her lips muffled by the hand. Alex’s breath hitched as those lips planted a gentle kiss against her warm skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. Those lips travelled upward, grazing her skin softly until they reached her ear.

“Good girl. I’m going to take my hand away from your mouth and I’m going to blindfold you. Keep your hands on the counter.” She whispered into her ear. Alex shuddered and nodded.

The hand was removed. She didn’t say anything about talking.

“Jesus, fuck - Liv?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and still looking forward.

“Yeah.” She could hear the smirk on the detective’s lips.

“You could have said something in the text earlier? A little heads up so I didn’t think I was being home invaded.”

“You said you needed to relax… that’s usually the code for ‘fuck me, Liv, please.’”

Alex blushed a deep shade of crimson.

“Now, shut up and don’t break character again.” Olivia pressed herself back up behind the blonde as she dangled a silk scarf over her eyes.

Alex didn’t fight against Olivia as she wrapped the scarf around her eyes and tied it behind her head. She didn’t protest as the brunette’s hands snaked around her waist to the front of her blouse, untucking it from the pencil skirt. Alex fell back into the brunette’s embrace as she felt her lips against her shoulder, moving her hair out of the way so she could plant small kisses on her neck. Alex sighed softly, rolling her neck to the side to give the brunette more room. One hand played with the buttons that held her blouse closed, and the other ran down the side of the blonde’s body. She was in euphoria. Alex’s eyes fluttered closed behind the blindfold as every sense of her body was heightened. The sensation against her neck, she felt every puff of breath in between kisses, every goosebump in the wake of soft kisses, she could smell Olivia’s perfume, and she could hear her pulse as it quickened faster and faster. This was intoxicating.

They enjoyed playing these games, Olivia was always the more dominant one, though Alex didn’t mind all that much. They weren’t a couple, far from it, but they started these games before she was sent off to Witness Protection. They started with drinks every Friday night, just the two of them after everyone else had left. One night, Alex admitted how touch-starved she was, after not being with anyone since law school. Olivia took the opportunity to put forward a suggestion, which the blonde happily obliged. Later that night, Alex experienced one of the best climaxes of her life, all the while sitting on the detective’s face. She can remember gripping the headboard as her mind exploded and her body shook. It was mind blowing. Since that night - it was a weekly arrangement. Friday night. They were always the last two. Light flirting at the bar, followed by waking up together the next morning. After a short period, Alex realised she was slowly falling for the detective but she never told her how she felt. She knew the detective wasn’t the relationship kind of person and the last thing she wanted was for their encounters to end. She stayed quiet, has stayed quiet, all this time.

When she left for Africa, she was sure their encounters would end upon her return. It didn't take long for them to fall back into old habits. Things were easier now Elliot was gone. He wasn't always looking into Olivia's business, they didn't have to be so secretive anymore. Their weekly arrangements became an every other day appearance. Eventually, Alex gave Olivia a key to her apartment so she could just let herself in and she did, often. Whenever Olivia felt the mood, she would let herself into Alex's apartment whether it was for sex or just company. Alex knew she was playing a dangerous game when she let Olivia spend the night and she had to stop herself from telling her how she felt. Those feelings from all those years ago never went away, they just deepened. She wanted to find someone to break the cycle of sex and pining, but no one came close to Olivia. She dated interesting and kind people, some were fellow lawyers, others were doctors, detectives, and even a restaurant owner, but she couldn't get Olivia out of her mind no matter how much she tried. Olivia was the only person she wanted to spend an extended period of time with, she was the only one who could make her laugh, give her a pep-talk that lasted, and the confidence to put the bad guys away. She was falling seven years ago and she was sure she was done falling now.

Olivia's fingers opened Alex's blouse and displayed her torso to the night air. Olivia's lips pressed against the taller woman's shoulder as her fingers travelled over pale skin. Alex's muscles twitched under every touch as she rested her head on Olivia's shoulder softly whimpering. Olivia's hands finally reached Alex's breasts hidden away behind a red lace bra. She smiled against her skin as she kissed the blonde's cheek and cupped her with a gentle massage of her fingers. Alex arched her back to Olivia's fondling. Turning her head to capture the brunette's lips in a passionate kiss. Their first kiss of the night. Somehow the kiss tasted better when she was blindfolded. She could feel the moan from Olivia's lips. The gentle panting escaped her lips, desperate for the brunette not to pull away from their kiss. Olivia's hands squeezed softly. Her fingers grazed over Alex's risen nipple and an immediate response came from the blonde. She moaned again, the rough fabric of the bra and the sensation of Olivia's fingers. She wanted more. She could feel her core getting wetter and wetter, if she didn't have the panties or her tights on, she was sure her arousal would be making a mess on her thighs.

"Liv… please…" She whimpered begging for the release that was building up more and more.

Olivia smirked against her lips as a response, Alex knew she loved hearing her pleas for release. It made the brunette feel more powerful than she already was. Alex felt her skirt loosen as she heard the familiar sound of the zipper on the side fall. Olivia let go of the skirt and let it fall to the floor. Slowly, the brunette rolled Alex's tights down over her hips. Lowering her body along with them. She left a trail of kisses down Alex's back. The blonde moaned once more, every inch of her skin burned with every kiss. The anticipation grew more and more. A hum escaped as Olivia's lips pressed against Alex's left cheek just above her thigh. Alex stepped out of the skirt and let Olivia place the skirt and tights to the side before the brunette returned to where she wanted to be.

She gasped sharply as Olivia’s lips returned to her neck, her hand running down her torso. Alex turned once more to capture the brunette’s lips, even blindfolded, she could easily navigate. This kiss became deeper, and hunger grew, as Alex’s arousal only started to ache more. She wanted to feel the touch of the detective, she longed for the release that was building in her stomach. Finally, she felt Olivia’s fingers graze along the hem of her French panties. Her hips arched towards her hand as it dipped inside the delicate fabric. She broke the kiss only to moan into the dark apartment. She wanted to turn around and pull the brunette into her, feel their bodies together just like every other time they did this, but she was restrained to the countertop and there was nothing she could do about it.

Olivia ran her finger through Alex’s wet folds, the blonde moaned again resting her head back on Olivia’s shoulder. She could feel that familiar tightening in her core as her stomach twitched. She felt like she was already so close and Olivia hadn’t even started yet. Olivia was painfully slow as drew lazy circles around Alex’s bud. Alex hid her face in Olivia’s neck where her breathing became heavier and heavier. Her mind was a haze, muddy thoughts running, senses heightened. Alex groaned again as she felt the brunette’s finger run down her slit towards her opening. She was ready to beg once more, she couldn’t take much more of this playing until those words were whispered into her ear.

“Turn around, Cabot, but keep a hand on the counter.” She whispered to her, she could hear the smirk in her voice.

Alex followed the directions and turned around slowly, still with Olivia’s hand running through her folds. Alex’s hands gripped the counter to keep her steady as she felt the brunette push against her. She moaned at the skin-to-skin contact, she so badly wanted to run her hand down the detective’s chest and over her toned abdomen. She could still feel the fabric of Olivia’s open blouse brushing against her skin as Olivia leaned in and captured her lips. It was like one swift movement between the kiss and slowly slid in two of her fingers. Alex gasped against the brunette as she felt her walls tighten around her fingers welcoming her in further. She felt her knees become weak and her mouth become dry. Olivia’s lips crashed against those of the blonde in a passionate kiss pushing her further against the kitchen counter as she started with a steady rhythm. Lazily moving her fingers in and out of her lover, Alex desperately wanted to touch her but she could only grip the countertop tighter. Hitting that perfect spot, Alex’s back arches into Olivia, she knew she couldn’t hold out as the pressure began to grow more and more.

“Liv, please…” Her little whimpers echoed into the kitchen as their lips brushed, her breath hitched, and her body trembled.

As she felt herself reaching her point of climax, Olivia’s movements slowed. Instead, her lips traced along Alex’s jawline, as her freehand ran up and pulled the knot of the blindfold, letting it drop to the floor. Alex’s eyes fluttered open, darkened blue orbs stared into the pitch-black eyes of the detective. Olivia’s fingers traced along her jawline. A tender gesture, unusual of her lover to do such a thing. She swallowed hard as she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes stayed on her lover. Alex pressed her lips against Olivia’s fingers in a gentle kiss as they brushed across the bow of her top lip. Olivia smiled softly. Her eyes looked as if they were sparkling.

“You can touch me…” She whispered.

Alex wasted no time, her hands ran up her arms and then down her torso, over her toned abdomen, and pulled her closer. Olivia once again found that perfect spot, Alex’s eyes rolled back in her head as she dug her nails into Olivia’s torso. She tried to stifle her moan, however, the gentle hum of her voice escaped into the darkened apartment. She was so close and she knew that her time had come when she felt Olivia’s fingers curl inside of her. Alex’s body arched as her climax hit. Wave upon, wave, upon wave, crashed against her with every pulsation from her core. With sharp breaths, her eyes fell closed, and she couldn’t make a sound she held onto Olivia’s waist as her body convulsed. Coming down from her high she rested her head on her lover’s shoulder. Olivia smiled and pressed her lips to her temple as she slowly removed her fingers. Alex whimpered at the loss of contact, thankful the counter was there to support her weak legs.

Alex lifted her head, a lot more relaxed than earlier when she was sitting on her couch flicking through her phone. The long day of disappointment had long since vanished and all that was left was bliss. Alex sighed as she leaned back against the counter and opened her eyes looking into the deep brown orbs of the detective she had fallen for. As their foreheads came to rest, Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia’s shoulders with a warm smile. Everything felt so perfect, warm, and loving. She wanted so much more but she knew Olivia didn’t feel the same way and she wasn’t looking for a relationship. A sense of sadness crept over the lawyer as she tried to push herself away from Olivia and move from the counter, but she was pinned. Sandwiched between Olivia and the countertop.

“Liv… come on…” She mumbled as she tried to push past her again.

Olivia didn’t reply, she merely reached around Alex’s waist and pushed her up onto the countertop so they were at the perfect height to each other. She leaned in and captured her lips in a tender kiss. Alex felt her heart begin to race, this was different from any other kiss they have shared before. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she allowed herself to melt into the kiss and wrap her arms around Olivia’s neck. She leaned back resting her head against the cupboard. Her fingers laced through her long brown hair. The night lights from the streets of New York danced against their skin as they continued to share their loving kiss. Breaking for a moment to catch their breath, their lips merely brushed. Alex felt her heart as it began to swell in her chest. She loved this woman so much and she felt as if she couldn’t tell her. She didn’t want to lose what they had, yet the truth was consuming her. Alex pressed a soft kiss to Olivia’s lips. Her fingers danced along the olive-coloured skin of her cheek. She felt her smile against her lips causing a flutter in her chest.

“Liv…” She whispered.

“Hmm?” The brunette hummed in reply.

“I…” She can’t do it, she can’t change what she has.

At this moment, she has Olivia, she has her in her arms. She’s holding her, gazing into her eyes, but once she says those three words - it’ll end. Olivia will retreat and their meetings will be over. She couldn’t do it, she

“Alex?”

“Sorry, I-”

“Love you.”

Alex’s eyes widened as she leaned back from Olivia. Her eyes scanned the face of the woman in front of her, wondering if her ears truly heard what she said. A smile formed on her lips and the sparkle in her eyes, that’s when she realised what she said was true. Alex pulled Olivia back in for another kiss filled with passion and love, she let her walls crumble around her as she finally found the stability she had always longed for.

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 21

“Jax!” Tara called his name in suprise as he gripped her arm and pulled her into an empty waiting room. Jax’s face was like thunder as he slammed the door shut behind them and pulled the blinds closed. “What fucking game are you playing?” He spat at the terrified doctor. “I Dont know what your talking about-” Tara was cut off by Jax’s hand flying out and catching her around the throat, pushing her against the wall. Fear filled her eyes as she saw a different side of her ex lover. This was the side she never thought she would see. The Angry Jax who used to do anything to protect her and their relationship. She only saw the loving Jax who would treat her like she was the most fragile beautiful thing in the world. She felt his hot breath fan across her face as he leaned close to her. “Fucking with my Wife, will bring you nothing but trouble, Dr Knowles. Now i dont know what you are trying to accomplish but let me be clear. You are the past. Delaney is my future. She is carrying my child. My fucking baby. A Legacy Child, that me and every Son from here to Belfast will die to protect. You and me? We had our time and its done. Now in future, when you see my girl, you turn and walk in the other fucking direction. You dont look at her. You dont breathe near her. Me and my family are out of fucking bounds for you. Do you understand?” Tara gasped against his hold as she watched tears fall from his eyes. Words were lost to her, all she could do was nod in agreement. Jax let her go and stepped back as she dropped to the floor. “This is the last time im going to allow you to fuck with my family.We’re Done Tara.” And with that Jax left her in a heap on the cold hospital floor. Storming from the hospital, Jax headed to his moms house. Knocking the door, Jax couldnt explain the relief he felt when Gemma Answered. “Whats happened baby?” That was all it took. Jax burst into sobbs on his moms front door as she wrapped her arms around him for the first time since he was a teenager. There was only one time she had seen him this bad, and its when that little hussy twisted him up and left. Jax spent the night on his moms sofa filling both her and Clay in on what had happened before falling into a restless sleep.

Delaney winced as she opened her eyes. Crying yourself to sleep really does give you a god awful headache. Sliding from under the warmth of her covers she slipped on Jax’s hoodie and made her way down the hall. She really could Murder a coffee but the recent baby news meant she was stuck to a cup of tea instead. She really did not want to risk a damn thing with this pregnancy. Despite what her and Jax are going through, they needed something good and this baby meant a lot to both of them. Jax would be a great Dad, and thats something that she couldnt deny. She hoped he stuck to his word and she would see him Monday, not in the arms of Dr Knowles. Everything yesterday was so hard. Hearing Tara say that shit hurt like hell. Her stepping away gave Jax the freedom and space to choose who he wanted. And even though it was selfish, she wanted him to choose her. To choose their family. “Wow, you really havent changed a bit.” The voice made Delaney drop her mug of tea. No. Why. How. 

Turning around slowly, Delaney made eye contact with Alex. There he was, in the flesh, sat at her and Jax’s kitchen Table. A sinister grin spread across his face as Delaney spotted the gun in his hand. “Miss me Sweetie?”

[residents-of-spookys-mansion]

Ok guys hot take #2….

The new trailer for the physical release of sjsm came out yesterday and I have some…thoughts. First off….

I fucking hate the new models. Like holy shit.

But first I’ll start with what I do like, cause it’s not all bad.

Beef demon looks- alright? I really like that they gave him goat feet and his hands look more creepy although I don’t get why his arms are so long. Also his big eyes throw me off. But not too bad.

Deer lord and Ringu also look alright and their gameplay seems to be the same. They do look a bit malnourished, but not too bad over all. Also we finally can see specimen 13 swimming in the water!!!!! Also we can see the ex-specimen 11 and spooper who look good! Specimen 3 looks the best and absolutely terrifying.

I am excited to see if they change some death screens or themes. That’s what I really want to know and I’m kinda hyped for a possible specimen 7 death screen and gameplay changes. Also the white cat looks cute!

Now for what I don’t like….

Now I already spoke about the parasite, and my stance still stands. They look god awful but I went into that in that previous post. Ben looks British and still looks super off. My issue is with specimen 2 and ESPECIALLY bab.

Specimen 2 is so god damn thin and they look elongated for some reason. They look so fucking goofy. Also his animation when he comes out of a puddle is so quick and looks like it cuts at the end. (But that could be an animation glitch so I’ll let it slide for now) Now bab has the worst case of being so fucking thin for no reason.

Like damn bitch I didn’t know skinny people need representation cause WTF. Why is she runway model thin. I know she’s supposed to be a “mannequin” but holy shit I’ve seen mannequins at the mall less skinny than her. Not to mention her movement and model in general looks so weird and moves just as awkwardly.

They basically shattered all hope I had that they would try to improve the models but what I’ve seen probably will be final. Most of my complaints chalk down to the models and art direction. Mostly since we haven’t seen much gameplay, but it’s hard to mess that up. So I think it’s mostly just the models that suck fuck.

I swear they’re going to make everyone so skinny. I fear what the old man, taker, and some of the doll house characters will look like.

I just hope for more specimen 14 content at the least.😔

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

My Queen Chapter 5

Steve Rogers is the newly inherited Duke of Brooklyn, struggling to fix the mistakes of his parents while enduring an overbearing, matchmaking mother.  He has no intention of anything romantic in his future, but will a forced love connection with the Queen change his mind?

Warnings: smut, slight domestic violence, minor character death

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Steve came home late from another date one night to find his mother waiting for him.  “Goodnight, Ma,” he yawned, walking past her briskly trying to avoid a conversation.

“Steve, wait,” Sarah called after him, her slippers squeaking against the floor.  “You need to tell me how it’s going!  That was your eighth outing with her—“

“Eighth?  Are you keeping tabs on me now?” Steve accused, his eyes piercing as he looked at her.

“Of course I am, you’re dating the QUEEN, it’s my job to know what’s going on.  Have you talked about marriage yet?  What about combining your homes and families?  Children?  Have you had sex with her yet?”

“Ma!” Steve yelled incredulously.  

“You need to seal the deal, Steve!  Secure our future!” She wailed, clutching at his shirt.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Steve bellowed, shoving her hands away.  “My relationships are none of your business, no matter who they’re with!”  He stepped back, holding his hands up when she tried to speak again.  “Ma, you need to find a new place to live.”

Sarah scoffed.  “Excuse me?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Steve said, rubbing his eyes and his face roughly.  “Go shack up with Lord Pierce for all I care.  As awful as he is, he seems to be your flavor of the week.”

Sarah gasped and tried to slap him, but he caught her wrist roughly.  His eyes were murderous as she stared up at him in fear.  “Get out of my house,” he growled before shoving her hand away and walking to his room.

The next morning he woke to the sound of his phone buzzing repeatedly.  He grabbed it and saw multiple missed calls from Y/N.  He quickly answered.

“Hello?” He grumbled and cleared his throat.

“Steve,” Y/N whispered harshly.  “Why is your mother here claiming you hurt her last night?”

Steve jolted up in bed.  “What?!”

Y/N sighed.  “She is here, crying and wailing about how her son twisted her wrist last night and kicked her out of her own house.”

Steve groaned at the audacity of the woman he called mother.  “Oh my fucking god,” he spat.  

“You need to get over here now,” Y/N said quickly.  “The Prime Minister wants to try to use this as a way to get rid of you.”

“What?  Why?”

“The Parliamentary takeover,” Y/N said angrily.  “He’s suggesting that I don’t know how to find a good match to be my prince consort, and if my judgment is bad here, then it will be bad for the government.”

“Shit,” Steve grunted.  “I’ll be there soon.”

Y/N didn’t answer, the phone going silent.  He quickly dressed to make himself presentable for the palace then drove like a bat out of hell to get to her.  When he arrived he was quickly ushered into what looked like a study.  Y/N sat at the desk with Sam standing next to her.  She stood when he walked in.  He bowed to her and then gave a slight head bow to the Prime Minister, a stern man named Thaddeus Ross, who sat on a chair next to the desk.  His mother was sitting across from Y/N at another chair, looking at him fearfully when he walked in.  

“Your Majesty, Prime Minister, Mr. Wilson,” he greeted them then looked at his mother.  “Mother.”

Sarah shivered dramatically.  “Stay away from me.”

Steve sighed quietly, trying to keep his wits about him.  He couldn’t lose his cool, not here, as much as she brought his anger out of him.  Y/N gestured for him to sit at a seat closer to her.  “Now, let’s figure this out,” Y/N said gently.  “Mrs. Rogers, how about you start from the beginning.”

Sarah gasped, sucking in her bottom lip as she looked at Y/N pitifully.  “Oh, Your Majesty, it was awful.  He came home and I was asking him about his night with you, and he yelled at me,” she said sniffling.  “Then he insulted me and my character and twisted my wrist.  He bruised me!”  She lifted her wrist, a deep purple bruise showing, shaking it at Y/N and Ross.  Y/N narrowed her eyes at Sarah’s wrist then turned to Sam and whispered something to him.  He nodded and quickly left the room.  “Then, he screamed at me to get out of my own house.  The gall!  I raised him,” she cried again, hiding her face in her arm as she sobbed nonexistent tears.

“I see,” Y/N said, trying to sound sorry.  “Your Grace?” She turned to Steve.

Steve nodded.  “I came home last night and my mother started asking me inappropriate and personal questions about my time and relationship with Your Majesty,” Steve rattled off the events of the previous night like it was a mission report.  He kept his eyes focused on the desk.  “I will admit I lost my temper, I did yell at her when she asked me something highly sensitive, and when I told her to stop and that it was none of her business I did tell her to find somewhere else to live.  My relationship with my mother has never been…a good one,” Steve glanced at Y/N for a moment.  Y/N nodded, her eyes looking sad for him.  “We fight often, and I did insult her by telling her to go, I believe I said, ‘shack up with her flavor of the week,’” he tightened his lips to stop himself from smiling bitterly.  “That’s when she tried to slap me, and I stopped her by grabbing her wrist.”

Y/N watched him for a moment before nodding and looking at her desk.  Just then the door opened and Sam walked in with another man.  “Ah, thank you Sam,” Y/N stood, shaking the newcomer’s hand.  “Dr. Banner, thank you for coming.  I’d like you to check on Mrs. Rogers’ wrist,” she said, gesturing to Sarah.  Sarah’s eyes bulged as Dr. Banner turned to her.  

“Of course, could I just see..?” He reached for her wrist.

“No!” Sarah slapped his hand away.  

“Mrs. Rogers we must make sure that you are not more seriously injured than it looks,” Y/N insisted, leaning against her desk, her head tilting while looking at Sarah.  

Sarah lifted her chin defiantly.  “Please Mrs. Rogers, this is serious,” Ross interjected, his eyes flicking back to Steve repeatedly.  

Sarah hesitantly lifted her hand up to Dr. Banner who gently grasped her fingers and inspected her wrist, turning it slightly.  Sarah winced unconvincingly as his thumb rubbed against the bruise.  He pulled his thumb back and a smudge of purple was on his fingertip.  “Is this…makeup?”

Sarah ripped her hand away from him.  Y/N took a long breath then sighed and rubbed her temples with her fingers.  “Mrs. Rogers, may I ask why you chose to lie to the Crown and waste my time?”  Sarah’s jaw kept moving but no noise came out.  “Right, well, Sarah Rogers, you are hereby stripped of your title.”  

“Your Majesty!”

“You are to collect your things and leave Brooklyn House.”

“You can’t do this it’s my house—“

“You LOST the house the moment your pathetic husband died!”  Y/N exploded, standing to her full height and towering over Sarah who shriveled against the chair she was in.  “Your son is the Duke and inherited that house.  And if it wasn’t for him, you would have lost everything.  And now by your own idiotic actions, you have lost everything.”  Y/N glared at her.  “You will leave this kingdom, and never return.  Do I make myself abundantly clear?”  Sarah nodded as tears streamed down her face.  “Sam?”  Sam moved quickly, gathering up Sarah and bustling her and Dr. Banner out of the room.  “Thaddeus,” Y/N turned to the Prime Minister.  He looked terrified after watching her actually yell at someone.  “If I hear any talk, any whisper, any shadow of a doubt in my abilities, my judgment, my decisions, or of a Parliamentary mutiny again, I will show you and the rest of your decrepit cronies the full potential of my wrath and power in this government.  Do I make myself abundantly clear?”  He nodded.  “Good day.”  Ross stood, bowed, and left the room quickly.

“Steve,” Y/N turned to him, his name sounding more like a sigh.  She looked like she was physically deflating.  “I’m sorry.”

Steve stood and walked over to her, his hands reaching up and cupping her face.  “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said, his thumbs caressing the skin along her cheekbones.

“I do,” Y/N kept her eyes closed and nuzzled her cheek into his palm.  “For sending your mother away.  For Ross being an ass.  For having to subject you to some bullshit investigation that I knew was false from the start—“

“And that’s why I love you,” Steve said, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers.  “Because you knew I wouldn’t do that.  Because you believed me and stood up for me from the beginning.  And you threatened the second most powerful person in the kingdom just to keep me around.  Not gonna lie, that was pretty hot,” he chuckled as he kissed her forehead.  

“Oh really?” Y/N giggled.  “You like it when I’m being mean?”

“I wouldn’t say mean, but authoritative, no-nonsense, self-assured, confident, badass,” he scrunched his nose and nuzzled it against her nose.  “Okay, maybe a little mean.”

“Masochist,” Y/N teased him, smiling wider as her hands wrapped around his waist as he continued holding her face.  “Did you just say you love me?”

Steve stiffened, realizing what he’d said before.  “I…yes, I did.”

“Did you mean it?” Y/N asked, her tone becoming softer.

“Yes,” Steve breathed.  “And I know it’s too early for me to say that, and I don’t expect you to feel the same–”

“But I do,” she interrupted him, tightening her hold around him.  “I love you, Steve.”

He closed his eyes as he rested his head against her forehead again, exhaling the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  When he opened his eyes he saw her looking up at him with the fire in her eyes that he loved, a deep want that was screaming at him to do something.  “Y/N,” he whispered, his eyes moving from her eyes to her lips.  

Y/N gave him a slight nod, and he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.  She responded quickly, her lips pushing back against his firmly as her fingers gripped his shirt at his back.  Their breaths became heavier as they kissed, Steve’s hands roaming from her face down to her neck then her mid back, pressing her body against his.  He suddenly lifted her up and onto the desk, making her legs open for him to stand between them.  Y/N hands moved to his front, her fingers skimming from his stomach up to his chest.  Steve nipped at her bottom lip, making her open her mouth and giving him the opportunity to lick along her lip and taste her.  She whimpered as she tasted him back, sucking at his lower lip.

A knock came at the door, making them both stop and Steve stepped away from her.  Y/N closed her legs and patted down her hair.  “Yes?”

The door opened to reveal Sam.  “I apologize Your Majesty—“ he stopped, looking at them both fidgeting with their appearances and Y/N sat on top of the desk.  “Um, did I interrupt something?”

“What is it Sam?”  Y/N ignored his question, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Your lunch appointment is here,” Sam said.  

“Right.  I’ll be there shortly,” she nodded.  When he closed the door again Steve let out a little chuckle.  

“Duty calls,” he said before stepping toward her again.  He leaned down and kissed her nose.  “Go.  And I’ll text you about when I can see you again.”

Y/N hummed and gave him a smirk.  “You owe me more kisses, Your Grace.”

Steve smirked back at her. “As Your Majesty commands.”  

@jenniferpendragon