#because the thought of being in situations where people are physically crowding me is like the htought of walking into a room full of advent

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Gojo and Geto with bad bitch Chubby Reader

Guys, I tried to avoid being a Gojo stan...I tried so hard to hate him...but the pull was too strong. He got my ass. He's too silly. He's too cute the little shit. He's too perfect. Geto's great too before he lost his shit and went psycho the two are just too great to pass up.

2024 WILL BE THE YEAR THAT I GET YOU BITCHES TO PREACH STRONG, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT but not too independent bc these men are still yummy af CHUBBY READER! No longer will I be insecure about my weight because these men LOVE to see me coming AND going, I can tell you that.

WARNING: Fatphobia (happens when first meeting Gojo & Geto—they’re teens trying to bully Reader, but she handles herself because they’re idiots), A little angst with the small amount of bullying but I hope I made up for it, Cursing

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Imagine you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko being classmates and friends during their schooling at Jujutsu High. All of you are powerful threats not to be taken lightly. The boys were undoubtedly freaks of nature with how strong they were—though, you had doubled over laughing alongside Shoko a couple of times when you heard them deem themselves "the strongest duo", as if they were some cool loner wolf types. Shoko was a master in the medicinal field; she made any injury look like a breeze to clean. She'd stitch them up no problem with her cursed energy and send them merrily on their way with a swift kick to their backside.

You definitely have more proficiency with cursed energy usage for combat more so than healing, but you could manage healing yourself just fine. You’d been born into a clan, not as highly revered as the Zenin or Gojo clans but still notable, so you’ve been taught from an early age how to wield cursed energy. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of the world has been drilled into your head since birth, and you agreed with it. The world’s innocence needs to be protected from the cursed dangers life creates. Sure, there are bad people in the world, but the good people make life worth living. At least, that’s what you choose to believe.

While you’re just a normal—aside from the slight infinite power and jaw-dropping strength—girl, you are different in one more physical way. You’re chubbier than most, and not by a small bit.

Are you insecure about it?

Hell fucking no!

You’re a bad bitch. Fantastic face, banging body, stunning smile, bright eyes, a kind but strong heart, and even a cute butt to top it off. You knew this world inside out with how cruel it could be to plus sized folk, and while you took the beating for far too long without fighting back, you took a couple of steps back a few years ago to look at the situation. Why let people push you around like you didn’t matter? Why let them speak to you like you’re lesser than them simply because you weigh more? You were done being talked to like you were filth underneath their boots.

Since that new perspective, you’ve chosen the road of self love and hands rated E for everyone. You’re kind and sweet to those who reciprocate the respect. To those who try you, you beat their asses with a smile. “Education on Human Decency” is what you’ve begun to call the smackdowns since many want to try casting judgment in snide remarks or sneering looks. They can try these hands instead :)

That’s where Jujutsu High and the headaches you know as Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru fit into this philosophy of yours.

You were homeschooled by your clan in the first year of your sorcery high school. Though, after much begging for a change of scenery and yearning for social interactions other than your family and neighbors, they allowed you to go to a high school centered on jujutsu sorcery the next school year.

When you started Jujutsu High in your second year, that is where you met Shoko, Gojo, and Geto, your classmates. The first thought to cross your mind was how small this crowd was. Sure, it wasn’t like the classes you’ve had before had many students in them either; the world of curses and cursed energy wasn’t exactly a booming population to start with, especially when every year is the same class roster composed of the few brothers and sisters you had. Considering that, three new faces was much better than before! You introduced yourself with a joyful tone and an eager handshake.

You started with Shoko since she was the only other girl. You’re glad you did. Shoko, who you originally thought would be tricky to get along with since she gave off “rebel” vibes with that unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and you were nothing of the sort, held a grin and took your handshake with grace. She told you she liked your spunk, that it was nice to be around another girl rather than more stinking boys. You agreed with her with a relieved sigh. You two shared a laugh and chatted some more, each of you discussing your thoughts of the school and figuring out your mutual interests.

Soon enough, you were interrupted by someone giving a very noticeable and forced cough behind you. You turned and were met with two boys, one with jet black hair and a sly grin and the other one with silvery moonlight colored strands sharing the same expression hidden behind circular sunglasses. The white haired boy was leaning heavily on the black haired boy with one arm propped on his shoulder as the black-haired boy crossed his arms in front of himself. Seems like the two are close. No matter.

You stuck your hand out, another smile—admittedly, this one was a little more forced than the one you shared with Shoko—and gave your name. Suguru was the first to bite. He grabbed your hand with a smooth, warm grip, and exchanged his name. His shake felt sincere, though the cunning smirk still laid on his lips.

You tried to shake the other boy’s hand after letting Suguru go, but he decided otherwise. He swiftly with no mercy said he wasn’t going to shake hands with the likes of “you”. You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the insult he would try to hurl at you. One thing bullies are is predictable. None of them have any creative bone in their body, they’re like leeches, in a way. Mooching off other clever remarks they’ve heard used before through the Internet or their idiot friends. Though, they alway reproduce it much shitter than the first time they heard it.

He leaned in with a smile and yapped about how if he touches you, some of your fat might rub off on him. Gojo tries to drag Geto into bullying you too by shamelessly asking if Geto is worried that will happen to him now that he’s so brazenly touched you. As much as you wanted Suguru to be his own person, to be better than the loser clinging to him like a koala, he chimed in that while Gojo’s afraid of that, that that could never happen to him. He sneered while looking down at you that he actually has the discipline to keep the weight off. The two of them share an evil snicker together.

Oh, so that’s how they wanna play it.

Okay. You don’t mind showing a bitch their place.

As Shoko pipes up and tells them to shut the hell up, you stop her. You give her a kind smile that says “I love you, but please back the fuck up as I rock these bitches world”. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise, but she gives you a nod. She quiets down.

You choose to laugh with them. They slowly shut their mouths, finding laughing at you not that funny when you don’t crumple under their taunts like they’d expected. You then explain to them that what you find so funny is that punks like them are so easy to read and, subsequently, ruin. You told them they need to find better insults to steal if they wanna cackle like they’re some kind of drunk hyenas and, unless they get more creative, they’re not worth the air they take from others. You turned to walk away, but since you just couldn’t help yourself, you gave the both of them a swift kick to the chest. Unprepared for the action, they both were sent careening back, but remained standing. You also snarkily nagged that being “undisciplined in weight loss” gave you the extra weight to knock their scrawny asses back that far.

Shoko gave you a hearty high five while laughing at them getting what they deserve. Gojo, though baffled at your defiance, is ready to start throwing punches, as he spews half-assed insults left and right. Geto manages to keep his thoughts to himself, but you do note his expression has definitely become sour. This little scrap is swiftly interrupted by your new teacher, Masamichi Yaga, when he enters and orders the class to settle down. He also snuffs Gojo’s babbling tantrum with a merciless smack to his forehead.

You give a small grin stuck your tongue out at the two when Mr. Masamichi turned his back. From then on, it was war.

You, Geto, and Gojo fought constantly in the beginning

When they (mostly Gojo now) tried to stir shit with you, you’d fling their rudeness right back at them

Whether they tried to pick on your weight, or cheery personality, or strength (which they couldn’t make too much fun off since you were only a little less strong than they were, but so was everyone else compared to their insane powers), you were always ready to kick their asses

You didn’t resent them for their teasing, mostly since you had a good head on your shoulders and you know that Gojo’s only deflecting all the shit he hates about himself onto other people, but they sure got on your nerves sometimes

So, you decided soon into your acquaintance with these dopes that instead of simply beating their asses every time they said some wack shit and never correcting the behavior, you’re going put an end to their bullying of based on others appearances

Because, who knows. You have enough self love and confidence to defend yourself against their rude remarks, but not everyone does. What happens if they target other plus sized people who maybe can’t or won’t defend themselves?

So, when they’d try to make fun of you, you’d correct them with sincerity and help them understand why that would hurt to someone

Geto pretty much never made a passing comment like that again towards you. You’re happy to see that change in him

Gojo huffed and puffed after what he called “your lecture”, but you also saw change in him

After that, it was slow progress to all be friends

Shoko and you were doing great! Hanging out outside of school, dragging her along with you to do some window shopping, eating a sit down lunch together, going to the nearest bookstore, grabbing a yummy sweet treat, stargazing—you did it all together!

She always made a fuss that she had “no interest” in what you would force her to do, but you could secretly tell she liked doing girly stuff together. As long as she could have a smoke break in between these hang outs, she was all good

The first time you, Geto, and Gojo made a recovery in your rocky relationship was when they asked if they could come along with the two of you to get a treat together

You were a bit hesitant to share the thing that brings you joy with the two people who tried to make you the butt of the joke, but you threw them bone and agreed

You four walked down the sidewalk, mostly you chit chatting with Shoko, when Gojo butted his way into the conversation at your mention of Kikufuku.

You and him bonded over your mutual love of the delicate, bouncy sweet treat and you watched as his eyes sparkled like a little kid when you said the place you were going to had an excellent Kikufuku

You know, when Gojo isn’t being a menace, he’s actually nice to share a conversation with

Geto teased Gojo for his astounding sweet tooth, and explained to you an embarrassing story of Gojo losing his mind one time when a dog stole one of his dorayaki treats and ran off

You laughed as Gojo tried to hit Geto as payback for sharing the “secret” but Geto fended off his flailing

Maybe I'll come back to this idea one day when I'm not hung up on the bullying. If you guys like this idea, I might continue it with less bullying. I am a baby when it comes to angst lol. I really do love these boys, I just don't think my heart is ready for the subject matter I wrote.

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[dwaekkicidal]

Hii 🫶🏻

First off: I have to tell you your Han series has me in a chokehold I CAN NOT get over it! 😍😍 it just hit all the right spots 😍😫

I don’t know if your request are open but if they are could I request with Han and female reader where Han is jealous/possessive of his girlfriend? Maybe because she is still in the same friend group with her ex or if you prefer give it any other motivation. It can be either swf or nswf, do as you prefer really (but if it is nswf could you make the reader to have a big breast and Han with a 🍒fixation maybe?)

Anyway I love you blog! Have a nice day! 🫶🏻😘

me when i get to self insert myself into a fic cause i have big boobies😼 ALSO TY ASDHJKASDJK i kept feeling really insecure about that series but its getting so much love :''))) im happy you are enjoying it as well as my blog <3

Cherries

˚ʚHan Jisung x fem!Readerɞ˚

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 1.8k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader, reader has big boobs but no other physical features described, ex has they/them pronouns, kinda out of character ji?, exhibitionism, nipple play, brief mentions of p in v

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

Han’s eyes were narrowed, so sharp that you could cut diamonds with it. He watched intently as you conversed casually with your friend group. It’s not something he thought he would ever see himself getting genuinely mad over, but the familiar face in the crowd made his blood boil.  Had this exact situation taken place more than a year ago, Jisung would have been an anxious mess. Probably would be fiddling with his jacket’s sleeves and restlessly bouncing his leg while his mind went to the worst places possible. But now, after dating you for over 2 years, he was more confident in himself.

Don’t be fooled! He still gets jealous easily. Very easily… but it doesn’t make him as angsty as it used to. Nowadays all he feels is anger. The only thoughts that fill his mind are ones along the lines of “How dare that person talk to my girlfriend like that. Who do they think they are?” while strangers blatantly flirted with you, and he would make fun of them with words like “Did you see their face when you rejected them?? Fucking loser lol” when you would make a face and deny them before running back into his arms.

But those were with strangers. Not with your stupid ex. The same ex who made you hesitant going into this relationship with Han in the first place. And the same ex that managed to snake their way back into your friend group. While his thoughts were about the same, Han wasn’t very keen on taking his eyes off of them. The trust was still there with you, but he knew better than to trust your ex. The slimy, sugar-coated lies they told the group wouldn’t work on him. 

A hand being placed on his shoulder cut him from his thoughts. He was in full fight mode and completely missed the way you walked up to where he was on the couch. The game room the group had rented out for a few hours was filled with their booming voices and a random playlist off of somebody's Spotify. Some people were playing pool while the others stood nearby to watch and instigate mini brawls here and there. He was the only one who idly sat on the couch, drink in hand.

You knew he was in guard dog mode because of your ex’s presence so you made sure to break your attention from the group regularly to check up on him. Only this time he accidentally ignored you, so you made your way towards him. “You okay, Ji?” You smiled sideways and tilted your head, stealing a sip from his soda and settling yourself between his legs. Immediately all the anger drained from his body and he smiled up at you. His hands wrapped around your waist and he sat up, pulling you closer as he nodded.

“Yeah... Sorry haha.” You smiled sweetly and placed his cup on the coffee table, wrapping your arms around his neck once the cup was safely set down. “It’s okay, I know the situation is a little uncomfortable.” You whisper and tighten your hold around him, squeezing him lovingly and giggling to yourself when he rests his cheek against your chest. He grins like an idiot at his personal pillow and shoves his face harder until you eventually get red in the face and push him back. “Hey now… We’re still in public.”

“That can change. Let’s go home right now and I’ll show you a good time?” He smirks and pulls you closer. His chin rests against the top of your chest and he looks up at you with puppy eyes and his signature pout. “C’monn… I’ve been good all day.” His hands drop down to your hips, digging his fingers into them as his voice drops an octave, “‘Promise to show you a good time. You know Hannie always takes care of his baby-”

Your name gets called and the both of you jump. You chuckle and turn in his grasp, now standing sideways to respond to the person. He let his eyes return to your group, simply curious about who you interrupted his begging but was made even angrier by the expression that painted your ex’s face. They were frowning deeply behind their drink and glaring at the two of you, obviously wired up about his hands that were wrapped around you. Han stared back with the same fire, knowing all too well what the other person wanted. But then he smiled to himself.

As you casually chatted with your friend, Han let his hand fall down to your waist. He did it at an angle that only showed it off to your ex, making them watch as his hand slipped under your shirt. The fabric bulged out as he grabbed a handful of your tits, kneading the flesh there as they held eye contact. Eye contact that was held as he leaned in, hiding his face from everybody else as he wrapped his lips around your clothed nipple. He made a show of even sticking his tongue out and licking your nipple over your shirt while his other hand continued to squeeze the other boob from, what seemed like, the inside of your bra

Han’s ego inflated to the size of the sun as he watched your ex’s jaw drop. Their eyes went up to your face and, besides the blush that covered it, there wasn’t a single reaction. You were so used to it that the obscene action didn’t even make you flinch. Which only pissed your ex off more. They huffed and shook their head, walking to the door and mumbling something along the lines of ‘Fuck this.’ While everybody’s attention turned to the first person to leave the function, you turned to your boyfriend and shook your head at him. “Really? All that about behaving too.”

“Not my fault their edgy ass didn't like it. I licked it so it’s mine.” You laughed and parted from your boyfriend, returning back to the pool table. After that, it didn’t take long for everybody to separate. The people who didn’t have the balls to be the first to leave shortly made their way out after your ex did. Your boyfriend was one of them as well and quickly made it obvious to you that he genuinely wanted to leave soon, so you both bid your farewells and made your way outside.

The second your food hit the concrete, Jisung dragged you to the nearest empty alleyway. One that, if the sun wasn’t already set, would have been very easy to look down and see the two of you. Alas, your boyfriend did not have a single care about that. If anything, the thought of somebody seeing you only egged him on.

Han shoves you into the brick wall, slamming his lips against yours and running his hands all over your body. They started at your thighs, where he squeezed the flesh of your thighs before sliding up to your hips and doing the same. Then his hands rested at your hips for a moment. He was too distracted pushing his tongue past your lips to continue on with his expedition. Once you both found a comfortable rhythm and your hands ran up his arms, he started moving again.

This time he slowly ghosted his hands up your stomach and stopped at your chest where he squeezed your boobs tightly. Then he pulls away from your lips, smirking at you and pecking your cheek before dipping his head down. You feel his lips against your neck and you moan quietly before rolling your neck to the side, giving him more space to work with. He doesn't linger there for long though. As much as your boyfriend loves marking you up, he only leaves a single one to your neck before he dips even lower.

He leaves a trail of kisses on his way to your boobs and, before you have the chance to react or push him away, his hands tug your shirt up to your neck. “Ji- Wait until we get home, baby. We shouldn’t do this he-” He cuts you off by nibbling your right nipple through your bra. His other hand slides under the bottom hem of your bra, grabbing a handful of your boob and rubbing that nipple between his middle knuckles. You moan loudly and tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging it in hopes that he would pull away but also stop and just take you to do this at home.

He moans against your clothed nipple and licks it seductively through the fabric, looking up at you with those brown boba eyes. Despite his lack of words, you already know what those pretty eyes want. You bite your lip and nervously look towards the entrance of the alley, watching as cars dart back and forth. But no people. “F-Fuck. Fine. But make it quick!” He smiles widely against you and nods.

His head pulls away from you for a moment, only to allow him to reach around and undo your bra. He doesn’t even bother taking it off of you, he just pushes it up with your shirt and dives back in. “Mine.” A loud moan leaves your lips as he suddenly bites the side of your tit, then he apologetically licks over his teeth marks. “Yours.” He smiles and grabs both of your boobs, fondling them as he alternates his attention to each nipple.

“God. I fucking love your tits, Jagi. And they’re all mine, right?” You nod and throw your head back as you moan, gripping his strands even tighter than before. He moans and bucks his hips into the air. “Answer me.” One of his hands moves down to your thighs and slides up under your skirt. It dips deeper, rubbing your clit through the fabric of your panties before wrapping around behind you and grabbing a handful of your ass cheek. “Jagiya… Say. It. A-gain.” He lands a sloppy slap to your ass with each word, smiling into your boob when your legs clench together.

“‘M yours, Ji! Please, babyy~” He wastes no time after that, pulling his pants and boxers down just enough for his dick to poke out. The hand that was on your ass pumps his dick a few times as his other pushes your leg up, holding it up and giving him space to fuck into you. His mouth finally releases your nipple in favor of poking his tongue out the corner of his mouth as he pushes in. Both of you moan at the feeling and lock eyes for a moment before he leans in and pushes his lips against yours.

He pulls away and leans down again, wrapping his lips around your neglected nipple. Then he tests the water with slow thrusts. Ones that speed up rather fast once he realizes how deep he can go in this position. The grip he has on your hips is bruising as he starts to slam his hips into yours.

“Mine. All fucking mine.”

Taglist:

@jiminssluttyminx @changisworld @juskz @linohumina @rylea08

@grandma143 @caught-in-the-afterglow @yaorzu-blog @jabmastersupriseee

[writerblue275]

Heartsteel Ranking: “Scary boyfriend privilege”

(AKA how intimidating they are to people who don’t know them.)

Inspiration: I’ll be honest this is a bit of a random ranking but I thought it would be fun to do and it was!

Champions: Heartsteel

Genre: Ranking

Type: Fluff? This is meant in a funny way.

Tw: Small mention of alcohol (drink responsibly y’all), and swearing (because I do, in fact, have the mouth of a damn sailor.)

List goes least intimidating to most intimidating.

LEAST

Ezreal (One of these days I will do a ranking that doesn’t put him at the bottom! I swear it’s not intentional! 😂)

Let’s be honest no one is shocked he’s here, right? Where else was Ez going to go on this list?? This isn’t a bad thing though! He just gives off such golden retriever energy and it’s amazing and I love him. I want to be at least best friends with HS Ezreal.

Despite the usual happy golden retriever energy, he’s definitely not afraid to tell people off/protect you though. (I feel like he secretly has quite a temper. He’s a Sagittarius after all [love my fellow 🔥 signs WOOT WOOT]. Usually he’s very good about keeping it under control…but if someone [besides you, he absolutely adores you] pushes him too far [ex: by making you uncomfortable]…just see what happens.)

Aphelios

You absolutely have scary boyfriend privilege with Aphelios, but I just can’t rank him higher than any of the other members below. He definitely has that “brooding silent type” down pat, and when he’s wearing his mask, that’s doubled. That air of mystery, baby, he’s got that in SPADES.

We also know he’s tall. Like not Sett, K’Sante, or Yone tall, but he’s got some height on him (unconfirmed 6’). Physically, he’s definitely more intimidating than Ez. Like imagine Phel silently staring daggers at someone. Lmao I’d hate to be whoever pissed him off.

K’Sante

Most of this comes from his height (unconfirmed 6’4”) and the fact he’s one of the gym bros. Like general vibe/personality-wise, I think Phel could be more-intimidating than K’Sante (or even Sett), but have you seen how just MASSIVE K’Sante is? HE CAN CANONICALLY BENCH SETT. Like 😮😮😮

Not to mention I feel like he’d always stick close to you in public, so no one would even dream of trying to do anything to you. (Unless they’re a whole dumbass.) K’Sante genuinely gives me very kind vibes, but he definitely protects those he loves very fiercely.

Sett

Sett is (unconfirmed) 6’7” (at least confirmed the tallest in the group), and JACKED AS HELL. Not to mention “allergic” to sleeves so those arms are out most of the time lmao. Only a fucking moron (or someone who is incredibly drunk) would look at Settrigh and go “oh yeah I am absolutely going to mess with this guy.” RIP that idiot.

He also doesn’t fuck around about the safety of the people he loves. Sett genuinely seems like the sweetest guy (I love this giant, ripped, sewing himbo so fucking much oh my fucking god) but he can/will be intentionally intimidating if it’s necessary to keep you or Ma safe (the two most important figures in his life 🥺). Will walk you home/keep you close to him in crowded situations. He always wants you to feel safe when you’re with him (you absolutely do like how could you not?).

Kayn

So this is based on both appearance and reputation. Obviously Kayn has quite the reputation from his last band (as well as being kicked out of it.) Appearance-wise, he’s not super tall, but he’s tall enough. Not to mention the piercings, tattoos, the fact he’s also in excellent shape (I mean we all saw those abs 😏), has vibrant dyed hair, a very bright red eye, and he is a total metal head. He can also, um, travel through WALLS. (Small detail lol.)

DO I EVEN HAVE TO MENTION RHAAST (even as his stage alter ego)???? Kayn can be pretty impulsive and sometimes acts first, thinks later. (He’s currently working on that with Yone, it’s fine.) Someone would be a damn fool to fuck with him or you. He just gives me very loyal guard dog vibes. (I mean he did wear the damn leash in the mv so….😝)

Yone

There is no one (let me repeat: NO ONE) I’d want to fuck with less than Yone. This man has quintessential resting bitch face (RBF), is like 6’ 2-3” (unconfirmed), in very good shaped (based on the lovely titty window of his outfit. Thank you, Riot designers) and is able to (mostly) wrangle the rest of the group. Also (hella obvious but) HE’S AN INTROVERT (INFJ specifically). People are NOT his thing (fucking MOOD).

Yone is the one who gives the most similar vibes to the TikToks I’ve seen that show cosplayers at Cons with their scarier-dressed friends/partners following behind them keeping them safe. (For Yone, it’s the RBF/air of mystery that really sets the tone.) He gives me such mature gentleman vibes as well. He’s always going to walk you home especially at night, or he’ll stay by your side in a crowd and you are just going to feel really safe with him. Top-tier scary boyfriend privilege right there.

Most

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Ok so the least and most intimidating were extremely obvious to me. It was everyone else in between that made things difficult. This was really fun to write though, even if the concept is a bit silly! 😂

[thefallennightmare]

One Night-Three[end]

*credit to me(thefallennightmare) for creating the gif. feel free to use it, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: lots of smut(mask play, spit play, bondage, anal, fingering, oral(m/f receiving), chocking, unprotected sex), swearing, angst, fluff.

Summary: One night. That's what Noah and Reader agreed to. No questions, no second thoughts, and no regrets. But will one night be enough to fill the hunger they both craved?

Authors Note: I wanted to write another part of this mini-series but only if others wanted it. It's a long one so buckle up! Once finished reading this part, please go read NOAH'S POV because it shows more into the story!

Tags: @pluviophillics @catj422 @iknownothingpeople @yumikitten @circle-with-me @dsireland86 @a1ex-ba1ex @blackveilomens @iamdesolate @shaydayhere @tearfallpixie @nerdraging4point0 @laris-angels

I stared at the confirmation in my hand, my heart pounding loud and hard in my chest. The paper weighed heavily in my hand as I bounced on the soles of my feet, wondering what would happen in the future because of my haste decision. I’ve had this confirmation burning a hole in my purse for a while now, waiting for this exact moment to use it. I rested my hand on my stomach; the nerves eating their way through me from the inside out.

The crowd of people around me was taking up whatever little space of air I had but I paid no mind to them, a wave of nausea crawling its way up my throat, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. It had been like this for a while now; I think about Noah and that night, wondering how everything went so wrong at the end. I made a huge mistake that night and now I was paying for it in more ways than one. I shouldn’t have kissed him, it was my rule, but seeing how ethereal he looked leaning over me, pupils blown wide with his lust my mind went blank. The only thing I wanted in that moment was to have my body ignite with fire and that’s exactly what happened.

The marks he left on my skin stayed for days after, a reminder how wrecked I was physically and mentally because of him.

It’s been almost eight months since that night and ever since then, my life hadn’t been the same. Noah’s scent, voice, and touch haunted my dreams when I was asleep and my thoughts when I was awake. I was the one that said in the beginning that I wanted nothing to come out of that night and here I was, standing in a crowd of people, wondering if he would be happy or upset that I was here. I would have seen him sooner but with him being in Europe and then only having a short time off after the tour, I wanted to make sure he had the time off he deserved. But now that their next tour started, I couldn’t stay away any longer, I needed to see him to know if Noah felt the same way.

Which is why I bought a ticket to a Bad Omens show a few hours away from where I lived and made the drive by myself.

The mistake I made that night?

Walking away from Noah Sebastian.

Tucking the paper ticket confirmation back into my pocket, I took a small sip of my beer as I waited for the show to begin. The second opening band just finished their set and Bad Omens were set to go on within the next half hour. I found a decent spot a few rows back from the main stage, off to the side, and I’d be lying if I told someone I wasn’t excited.

Ever since I saw them that night, I became addicted to their music and lyrics. Over the last eight months, I listened to all of their albums religiously and my situation with Noah aside, Bad Omens were one of my favorite bands now. Every time I listened to If I’m There, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of Noah and I in the bath together, him humming that song to me.

There were plenty of times I wanted to ask Britt to ask either of the Nicks how Noah was doing but knew that it would appear creepy. Noah wasn’t mine to know what he was up to or if he was seeing anyone. It wasn’t any of my business.

I had no plans on telling Britt about the night in the hotel room with him but the next morning she came over and saw the marks littering my neck so there was no choice but to tell her. She, of course, was ecstatic for me I had found a good thing after my wreck of a previous relationship. That was when I had to tell her it was only a one-night thing. Britt said Noah, and I were idiots to stop something that was destined to happen.

“You’re insane,” I told her with a shake of my head. “We both agreed that a relationship isn’t what either of us need.”

“What’s insane is thinking you could have one night with him and be okay with that.”

In the eight months since, Jacob never contacted me. I think hearing Noah on the phone that night showed him I was moving on from him, which was the plan. So despite the pain my heart felt knowing Noah was all over the world the last few months, I was glad I never heard from Jacob again.

The lights dimmed while a deep voice echoed through the speakers of the venue, Bad Omens set beginning. My heart fluttered while my pulse quickened knowing that in a few seconds, I would see Noah again. My plan only consisted of seeing the show tonight. I didn’t think of what I would do after. There was a small hope he would notice me tonight in the crowd but now seeing how packed the venue was, that hope was dwindling away; even if I was close to the stage. I could hang out outside after the show to wait for him but was that too far? Would he think it was too much? Would he even come out to meet his fans?

Three bodies came out onto the stage and immediately recognized them as Jolly, Nick, and Folio. They took their spots on the stage, Jolly being on the side where I was standing, then a few seconds later Noah walked into his position, black jacket with the hood over his masked, covered face, their song Artificial Suicide opening up the show. As soon as I saw Noah, flashbacks to our night in his hotel room rushed in; him sitting naked on the edge of the bed, just adorning the ski mask. His tattoos were on full display as I kneeled before him, my hands tied behind my back, and his thick cock in my mouth.

Heat rushed between my legs, and I licked my lips with the want to taste him again.

For the next while, I let my mind forget about all of my problems and the memories of that night to let myself go. I sang and jumped along with the others in the crowd next to me, core tightening when Noah lost his mask and jacket.

During The Death of Peace of Mind, Noah came to the side of the stage where Jolly was to stand on the platform that was there. He sang the lyrics beautifully and as he move the microphone away from his face to take a deep breath, his eyes scanned the crowd until it fell onto me. My breath caught in my throat as sweat trickled down my spine, this time not from the warm bodies crowding around me. Noah’s eyes twinkled even under the dark lights, and jaw dropped. Before he could get a better look at me, the breakdown for the song hit and the crowd shifted, blocking my view from Noah as he nearly missed his mark.

I blinked a few times, not expecting him to catch me with how packed I was between the surrounding bodies. It was only a two seconds, and it was dark in here, there was no way he got a good look at me. Right?

I watched the rest of the show with excitement not only for the atmosphere but how the guys radiated their own energy onto the crowd. As they all stood in a row to thank everyone of us, something seemed off with Noah. His eyes scanned throughout the crowd, head shifting back and forth, almost as if he was looking for something. There was a hard frown pulling on his lips, almost a scowl, which unnerved me.

Fuck, maybe this was a bad idea.

With that thought weighing heavy on my mind, I slipped through the crowd and out of the building.

I should have left, should have started the long drive home, but no; I was waiting around with the dwindling crowd of fans who were hoping to glimpse the guys. It was me and three other people. Only my reason differed from theirs for staying. It’s been at least an hour of waiting and knowing I had a five-hour drive back home in the dark was the reason that I strapped my bag higher on my shoulder and turned on my heels to leave. I was halfway through the parking lot, turning the corner to leave when my name echoed in the quiet night.

“Y/N?”

Stopping suddenly, I peered over my shoulder and saw Folio leaning against the tour bus.

“Hey,” I smiled a little.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, walking up to the metal barricade that was being used to keep people away from the busses and trailers.

I was standing on the other side of it as I shrugged, words stuttering from my lips. “Uh, I-um.”

The thought of telling Folio why I was here, made my stomach churn and my tongue felt like it weighed five pounds. I didn’t know if Noah told him or any of the guys about our night together so I wasn’t sure what he knew.

Folio chuckled while stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Noah should be out in a minute. Some old friends from Virgina came to the show tonight, so he’s catching up with them.”

My stomach dropped. Was it that obvious?

“I’m not here for Noah,” I lied, eyes shifting away from his face down to my feet.

“Right,” Folio nodded. “Britt mentioned you were a terrible liar.”

Internally I scowled at my best friend. Of course he knew some things about me, since he was practically dating Britt.

“What else did Britt tell you?” I asked with a sigh.

We were standing in front of each other, the metal fence between us, and when Folio sighed, I could feel it deep in my heart. Whatever he was about to say either would break me or give me false hope.

“She may have mentioned that you and Noah spent a night together,” he trailed off.

I groaned. “This is so embarrassing. Why did I think this was a good idea? He’s probably going to think I’m a stalker. I should have left that night behind like he did.”

I muttered the last part under my breath but knew Folio heard because he grasped both of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

“Noah doesn’t think that, alright?” He said then dropped his hands back to his side.

I shook my head, regret for this entire night eating away at my insides, like the vulture that pecked away at Prometheus every day.

“You know what, this was stupid. Do me a favor and don’t tell him I was here?”

Before I could turn on my heels and retreat, the door to the venue opened and loud voices echoed in the air as a group of people dispersed into the parking lot.

His laugh burned deep into my heart, the familiarity of it causing my stomach to flutter, and for a second, time stood still as Noah, who was talking with someone, a small smile pulling at his lips. That was until his gaze turned slightly to the left, his eyes scanning the parking lot when it landed on me; a look of shock crossing over his soft features until the corners of his lips pulled up into a large smile.

Noah stood in place as we stared at each other, me marveling at how he looked with his white hat and white sweater that hung over his shoulders. His eyes, usually bright, now dulled with exhaustion from tonight's show and I would have worried that he was upset with seeing me if it wasn’t for the smile that was still plastered to his face.

“Hi”, I whispered, hands shaking with nerves.

"Hi,” Noah repeated, only his voice was louder, stronger. “What are you doing here?”

Neither of us made a move towards each other.

Folio, who was still on the other side of the gate along with Noah, watched our silent interaction with a lazy smile.

“She’s been waiting for you. You took so long she almost bailed and wanted me to keep it a secret,” he muttered to Noah while smacking his shoulder as he walked past him.

I narrowed my eyes at his back before calling after him. “Not cool!”

Folio responded with a wave of his hand before he disappeared back behind the building.

Noah still stared at me with a burning gaze and my skin felt like an inferno all over so I shifted on my feet.

“What?” I asked, feeling scrutinized under his eyes.

“I saw you tonight. In the crowd.”

I nodded with a sigh, no point in denying it. “Yeah.”

His voice was even and steady, not a hint of any emotion, and I hated not knowing how he felt about me being here tonight. The tension between us was worse, heavy and thick, and it was as if something was holding him back. Keeping him from doing or saying what he wanted. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to know the answer to the question that I’d been dying to ask.

“Why didn’t you reach out?” I wondered with a shaky breath.

Noah shrugged. “Why didn’t you?”

I pursed my lips, knowing I had no right to be upset about him not reaching out when I didn’t either; as much as I wanted too.

“Noah, I-.”

Someone from the group yelling Noah’s name cut my words off, and he turned slightly, giving whoever it was a quick nod of his head. Clearly they all had plans, and I was keeping Noah from them.

“You know what, I should go. The show was amazing but I’ve got a long drive back home.”

“Y/N.” Noah breathed.

I ignored the way my heart lurched at the way he said my name and turned to leave but felt soft fingers gently grasp my wrist. My eyes bounced from his hand up to his eyes, brows furrowed with slight confusion. Even this simple touch brought back the memories of our night together, of how his touch over my entire body brought every cell alive within me.

“Why are you here?” He asked.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I wanted to see the show.”

“Bullshit,” Noah scoffed. “You drove three hours to see us when next week we have a show that’s minutes from where you live?”

My teeth dug deep into my bottom lip when he saw right through my lie. Yes, I could have seen him when they came to my hometown next week but the thought of making the long drive out of my way called to the romantic part of me.

“Why are you here?” he asked again, this time with a slight squeeze to my wrist.

“I wanted to see you,” I admitted with a long breath.

There was no point in denying it anymore.

Noah’s face twitched as if he was trying to hide back the smile. “Why?”

Why? Why the fuck do you think?

I couldn’t speak, not wanting to say it out loud. I knew why I wanted to see him but suddenly in front of a group of his friends who were still within listening distance; I didn’t want Noah or them to know.

“Noah! Are you coming or what?”

I looked past him and saw someone waving Noah over.

“I won’t keep you, Noah. It was good seeing you but I’m going to go.”

This whole interaction with him and Folio was embarrassing, the last thing I needed was his other friends see how bad I fumbled in trying to get him back; although he was never mine to lose in the first place.

Noah shot me a look, one that rooted me right in place. “I swear if you keep threatening to leave, angel I’m going to bend you over and smack that ass in front of everyone.”

My lips parted, heat shooting directly to my core at his words. Every nerve in my body sparked with electricity as his hand left my wrist only for both of his hands to reach other the guard rail, gripping my hips.

“What are you doing?” I questioned.

Noah said nothing, simply lifting me up and over the metal gate, causing me to squeal in slight shock and slight delight. Now standing directly in front of him with no barrier between us, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and began leading me towards the group of people that were waiting for him.

“Noah,” I murmured trying to stop him.

He ignored me as we came to a stop, Folio giving me an amused smirk. I didn’t doubt he would tell Britt all about this later.

Hell, who am I kidding. He probably already told her.

“Hey guys, this is Y/N.” Noah introduced me.

I gave the strangers a small nod but when I saw Jolly and Nick; I gave them a large smile.

“We knew we saw you tonight,” Jolly laughed.

“Yeah, I wanted to see the show,” I did my best to shrug in Noah’s embrace.

Having his body heat wrap around me like a cocoon did nothing to stop my erratic heart rate.

“Right, that’s why you drove three hours when we’re in your hometown next week?” Nick chuckled.

My eyes darted to my feet where I shifted uncomfortable. Noah noticed because he pulled me closer into him.

“You guys go ahead. I’m going to hang back with Y/N.”

This caused me to look up at him through my lashes. “You should go out with them.”

He ignored me, only talking with his friends for a few more seconds before he turned us around to led us towards his tour bus. Noah went in first, his hand extended towards me, and I took it with a small amount of hesitation. As soon as we stepped into the main area of the bus, his scent stood out among all the different ones and the familiarity eased my nerves only a little.

“You won’t get in trouble for having me in here?” I asked.

Noah snorted his laugh. “Come on, there’s an area in the back that’s private and we can talk.”

Talk.

I don’t know why that word made my heart fall into my stomach. That’s why I was here tonight, hoping to catch his attention. So why did the realization that’s what we were going to do fill me with so much disappointment?

What, did you think he was going to fuck you?

I pushed the thought away as we stepped into a small room at the back of the bus. It was a lounge area with a long couch that ran along one side while on the other there was a television with an array of gaming systems. Noah sat on the couch with a huff of breath while I stood in front of him running my hands up and down my thighs.

“Nervous?” Noah raised a brow.

I growled quietly, almost forgetting how perceptive he was with me, and stuffed my hands in the back of my jean pockets instead.

Noah motioned to the spot next to him. “You can sit. I’m not going to bite, well unless you want me too.”

Now the heat crept over other parts of my body remembering everywhere he bit me that night and eventually, I sat next to him leaving some space between us.

“Why didn’t you go out with your friends? Folio mentioned they were old friends from Virgina?”

“The thought of spending time with you sounded better,” Noah said without missing a beat.

I bit my tongue, not sure how to respond to that, so silence fell between us once again. My eyes were staring down at my intertwined fingers while his were glued on the side of my face, assessing my every movement like he was studying me.

"You're staring," I said.

“You look good, angel,” he mused.

Heat crept over my face in a blush and I tucked a piece of hair away from my face. “Thank you.”

His nickname for me woke the butterflies that lay dormant in my stomach the last few months. It still made my heart flutter into my throat and head spin with warmth.

"Has he called you at all?" Noah asked.

Even though he didn't say his name, I knew who he was talking about.

I shook my head. "Jacob hasn't bothered me since that night. I think he realized I wasn't going to take him back after he heard us together."

He gave a curt nod. "Have you called him?"

My eyes snapped over to him, anger slicing through him. "No, I haven't. In fact, I haven't been with anyone since that night. You kind of ruined the idea of being with anyone else."

This caused Noah to break out in a grin. "Good."

I scoffed, mouth falling agape. The fucking audacity of this man, saying that it was good he messed up my future dating life because I was too held up on him?

"You're unbelievable," I said with a slight edge to my voice.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I haven't been with anyone else, either."

"Congratulations, I bet that must have been so hard for you. Do you want a medal?"

I laid the sarcasm on thick in hopes he couldn't hear the excitement in my voice hearing his revelation. I was ecstatic Noah hadn't been with anyone else. Which meant he had to have some feelings for me, right?

Noah hummed. "Such sass coming from that mouth. Do I need to stuff it with something else?"

That shut me up as I sat back against the cushions of the couch with my arms over my chest. My knee bounced in anger, not at Noah but because he said things that not only shut me up but set my entire being up in flames. It seemed like no matter what I said to him, he would barley react. How do I know how he's feeling about me while he's basically reading my mind?

"I didn't hear a no," he said.

I cocked my head to the side. "Is that why you invited me on your bus so you can tease me?"

Noah raised a finger to brush a strand of hair away, tucking it behind my ear. "Believe me, Y/N. I want to tease you in so many ways."

I audibly gulped, something I knew he heard, because now his fingers were trailing down the side of my neck before resting his hand over my collarbone.

"You can say no but with how hard your heart is beating, I know the truth," he whispered.

This wasn't where I wanted our conversation to go. Even if my body was coming alive with his touch, I needed Noah to know how I felt about him. We had sexual chemistry, that was pretty clear, but was there a chance there could be more between us?

"Noah," I licked my lips. "I need to tell you something."

"You're not pregnant, are you?" He joked.

I stared at him dumbfounded. "If I was pregnant, don't you think I'd be showing by now?"

Noah shrugged with a chuckle while leaning away from me, back in his previous spot. "I know you're not. I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

When I didn't laugh, he sighed while running a hand over his face. It was late and after the long day he had, I suddenly felt guilty for keeping him awake.

"You're tired," I noted.

"Yeah, it's been a long day. We're only four shows in this tour but I'm already exhausted."

Noah's eyes locked with mine as he pointed to me. "If I didn't want you here, angel, I wouldn't have invited you. I want to spend time with you, no matter how exhausted I am."

The corner of my mouth turned up in a smile.

"When do you guys have to leave for the next city?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning. Everyone wants to get on the road by 9 but depends on how hungover they are," Noah laughed a little.

"Oh," I nodded dissapointed.

I didn't expect him to stay back because of me, forget about his job for me. But knowing that yet again we only have less than twelve hours together made my stomach fall. I dared a quick peak at the time on my phone and groaned when I realized it was nearing midnight. The drive back home was daunting, especially in the dark, and I was regretting not booking a hotel room.

"Are you driving back tonight?" Noah asked.

I nodded. "Yeah so I should probably get on the road soon."

When he said nothing, I peered up at him to see his jaw was clenched.

"Why did you come here tonight, Y/N?"

I sighed, not wanting to explain myself yet again but before I could, Noah's started up again.

"We both agreed to have one night together, one of the best nights I had in a long time. It killed me to have you walk away. Ask any of the guys, you leaving wrecked me."

I blinked, taken aback by his confession, but my mouth had ran dry like the desert. Words felt foreign on my lips as I tried to say something.

"Then eight months later you show up, out of the blue, expecting what?" Noah questioned.

"No-nothing. I wanted to see you," I stumbled over my words, not expecting him to get this upset about me showing up tonight.

The more I thought about how angry he was suddenly made my anger burn low in my stomach and I raised to my feet, hand clenched into fists at my side.

"If it wrecked you so bad, why didn't you stop me or called me?" I accused.

Noah stood to his feet, closing the distance between us and due to how tall he was, I had to raise my chin up at him.

"You walked away, Y/N!"

"It's what we agreed on!" I yelled while raising my hands.

Noah tossed off his hat, throwing it to the couch behind him then ran a hand through his hair.

"We also agreed on never seeing each other again but here you are," he motioned towards me.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, almost hard enough to taste blood, and took a deep breath. I never expected us to get into a fight about this but knew that if one of us didn't calm down, it would get even uglier. Plus, I wasn't sure if anyone had come back from the bar and was sitting on the bus listening to our conversation.

"Fuck, you don't make any sense, Noah! You tell me you're happy to spend time with me but then in the same breath complain that I'm standing in front of you," I shot back.

Noah took a small step towards me. "Why did you come tonight?"

"Oh, here we go again," I pinched my eyes shut. "I already told you, I wanted to see you."

Another step towards me and I felt the heat radiate off of Noah. We were so close now, if I tilted my head up half an inch, our lips would touch. I didn't, though, no matter how bad I wanted too.

"Why?" He pressed again.

All the anger was gone from his voice. The only thing I could hear was slight desperation.

I slowly licked my lips, something Noah watched with intense eyes, and as much as I wanted to tell him the truth, the fear of what would happen if I did made me falter.

"It doesn't matter," I shook my head. "You're leaving in the morning and we'll go back to where we were before I came here tonight."

"Come with me."

I blinked a few times at Noah, wondering if I heard him right.

"What?" I asked.

He stepped closer to me invading my personal space and I could feel his warm breath fan across my lips. Noah's fingers brushed up against the exposed skin of my thigh at the edge of my shorts and I shivered, goosebumps covering my skin.

"Come with me," he repeated.

"I can't," I shook my head. "I have work and-."

"I thought you were an author and worked from home," Noah said with a furrowed brow.

He remebered that?

I told him what I did for work when we were taking a bath together that night

"We barley know each other, Noah. We might get annoyed with each other after the first night," I said.

Noah's hand moved from my thigh to my hip, giving it a squeeze.

"It's a big bus, plenty of space to have some time apart. We could use the time to get to know each other. Nobody know's their partner when they first start dating," he shrugged as if it wasn't a huge deal.

My heart skipped as all the breath caught in my throat but I held my face stern, not letting him know how excited I was at his words.

"We're not dating, though," I pointed out.

The corner of his lip turned up in a sly smirk, hands now sprawled over my lower back.

"Not yet."

"You seem pretty confident that I'll say yes," I somewhat joked with a laugh.

Noah leaned closer to my lips but didn't press his against them. "You came to see me tonight, angel. It's safe to say that I already have you."

I whimpered as one of his hands wrapped around my throat, thumb tilting my chin away to expose my neck. Noah's lips left soft kisses along my jawline before trailing down to that one spot on my neck that made my knees weak. They would have buckled under his kisses but Noah's free hand wrapped around my back keeping me upright.

"Come with me," he breathed into my neck in between leaving marks.

I did my best to shake my head in his grasp, a small moan falling from my lips betraying my denying him.

"What would the guys say?" I asked.

"They won't care."

The invitation sounded amazing; on the road with him and getting to watch a Bad Omens show almost every night. The thought of getting to know Noah made my stomach do that weird butterfly flutter. To be honest, I had no reason to deny his invitation, but I didn't want to accept without knowing how he felt about me.

Even if his actions right now were pretty clear.

I swallowed thickly, trying to gain the courage to ask my next question, knowing this could make or break the rest of the night.

"What if we realize that all this relationship is just sex?"

Noah briefly pulled away from the mark on my neck to look into my eyes. His grip was still on my chin so he held it tighter.

"I can promise you, it's not just that. I want to get to know you, angel. I could wait until tour's over to spend time with you but I don't think I can let you leave again. Not when I have you this close to me," Noah said.

His name came out in a hushed whisper as I leaned into him. The desperation and hurt in his voice told me that when I walked away from him eight months ago, it really wrecked him.

"I can't," I tried again to make him realize that this was a bad idea. "Being with each other every day could push us apart rather than bring us together."

It was true.

There wasn't denying that I had strong feelings for Noah and I feared that if I were on the road with him, we would slowly get sick of each other. And when he would drop me off at some random city, it would fucking break me.

How do you know he would? He treated you like a queen that night. Noah wouldn't throw you away like that.

My mind was reeling with the constant back and forth of my thoughts that it surprised me I didn't have whiplash.

"Why are you so against coming with me?" Noah asked while pulling away.

I scoffed. "Can you blame me? I barley know you and you're asking me to spend weeks with you."

"You barley know who I was when you let me fuck you that night," his eyes narrowed.

A heat flushed over my cheeks as I tore my gaze away from him and let out a deep breath.

"This is different," I murmured.

"Is there someone else?"

My eyes immediately snapped back over to him as I sternly shook my head. "No, I've already told you; I haven't been with anyone else since you. You're all I can think about, Noah."

His hand reached for me but I took a step away from him, knowing that if I felt his large hands engulf around me again, it would shatter whatever resolve I built within me. And the longer I stood this close to him, the worse my walls would disintegrate.

"I should go," I sighed. "It's late and I hate driving in the dark."

It looked like Noah wanted to say something but his lips pulled in a tight line while his hands were stuffed deep into his pockets. With one final longing glace, I stiffened my shoulders as I walked past him, the pain of leaving yet again muted by the burning sensation I felt in my throat; tears gathered in the corners of my eyes but I refused to cry. I barley made it to the door of the room when Noah muttered something under his breath before I felt my body being pushed up against that door.

Noah's gaze bounced between my eyes then down to my lips. My own drifted up to him, and it was over. Sparks shot through my entire existence when I felt his lips press hard against mine in a soul shattering, earth ending kiss. His tongue pushed past my lips almost instantly, finding mine in a fight for dominance. I didn't fight it because despite me declining staying with him; I wanted this so fucking bad. I missed the way he tasted, the way his lips molded perfectly against mine, and the way heat shot to my core, clit throbbing with the need for more.

He broke away to take a large breath before his lips found mine again in a hard kiss, driving them apart with the force of it. There wasn't anything gentle about it. I felt the door behind me rattle as Noah shifted his body, thigh pressing between my legs and against my pussy. I moaned into the kiss which made his grip on my hips tighten. Every thought in my head exploded to a pure, pounding, white light, and I felt the tight curl of desire burn low in my belly while I rubbed my swollen clit against Noah's thick thigh. The sensation made my toes curl in my shoes. It twisted inside of me, bending all of my rules, and snapping that last little of restraint. I tried one last time to stop this, stop Noah from consuming every single cell of my body.

"No," he said, bringing my lips back to his.

It was just like how it was before and I slid my hands under his shirt, skin ablaze with his own desire, to pull him closer to me. The low groan at the back of his throat, a small pleading noise that set every inch of my body on fire.

"Come with me." Noah almost begged this time against my lips after he pulled away.

My orgasm was on the verge of tilting over the edge, cresting to a high crescendo, as he pressed his thigh harder into me. My hips were moving in an ugly rhythm at this point but I didn't care, I needed this orgasm like I needed oxygen.

"Noah," I choked out as my orgasm plowed through me with an earth shattering scream.

"Fuck, angel," Noah cursed while covering my mouth with his large hand. "You need to be quiet, okay?"

Suddenly, the noises on the other side of the door filled my ears, and I realized some of the guys had returned from the bar. I breathed through the last bit of my orgasm against Noah's hand as he swiftly picked me up and laid me down onto the couch. Our eyes locked as his hands when to the waistband of his shorts, pausing for my answer. It wasn't to his earlier question. I should say no because this could further confuse things for us but I didn't care; I wanted Noah.

I nodded feverishly. "Please fuck me, Noah."

He made a low noise in the back of his throat before quickly stepping out of his shorts and briefs and made fast work of tossing his shirt away from him. I couldn't stop the way I hungrily stared at him, his tattoos shadowed by the moonlight from outside. That was the only light on now because Noah shut off the one in this room, afraid that if someone was lurking outside the bus, they could see us inside.

"Safe word?" He asked.

My heart did that stupid fluttering it always did when I was around him. With those two simple words, it was as if we piked up right where we left off.

I nodded. "I remember."

"Take your clothes off then get on your knees."

I did exactly what he demanded, and soon I was kneeling, naked, in front of him. Noah's fingers pulled at my hair, forcing me to look up at him. His dark eyes were blown wide with his desire and I felt my arousal pool between my legs.

"I told you I would stuff this pretty mouth with something," his thumb brushed over my bottom lip. "Now, choke on my cock."

Yes, sir.

I moaned at how delicious he tasted as I took his entire length between my lips, the pre-cum staining them. His head hit the back of my throat and I choked out a gag, Noah groaning at the tension it caused on his cock.

"Good girl, take all of it," he praised, hand brushing the soft strands of my hairs away from my face.

I preened at his praise while my fingers dug into the skin of his thighs, needing to hold something to keep my steady. Noah's pace as he fucked my face was relentless and drool fell from the corners of my mouth onto the floor beneath us.

"Oh, fuck," he groaned when my tongue massaged the large vein underneath his shaft. "Just like that, angel. Yes."

I looked up at him just in time to see his head fall back, lips parted in pure bliss. The muscles in his stomach were tense and taut, his orgasm rising with each suck and pull of my mouth. My jaw was sore and my lips numb but I didn't stop. I wanted him to fill my mouth with his cum. Pulling almost all the way off of him, I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, tongue lapping up the pre-cum that spilled onto my tongue.

"I'm going to cum, angel. Take it all again, please."

Oh fuck. Hearing him beg for it almost made my orgasm plow through me.

With his whole length in my mouth again, I kept my head still as Noah's grasped on the side of my head tightened, his hips slamming into my mouth. He came with a silent cry, warm cum spilling into the back of my mouth and down my throat; I swallowed every drop.

"Kneel on the couch with your back to me," Noah helped me to my feet before positioning me like he said. "Hands on the window."

Once positioned how he wanted, Noah stalked behind me and brushed the head of his still-hard cock against my wet folds and I moaned while letting my head fall back into his chest. I felt his warm breath against the shell of my ear before he left a kiss there.

"You need to be quiet. I don't want anyone to hear how pretty you sound when you fall apart on my cock."

My eyes rolled to the darkness of my head, our shared desire making my stomach coil with so much fire it was almost unbearable waiting for him to sink into me. The faint voices on the other side of the bus had grown in volume, laughter breaking its way past the door.

Noah's fingers grazed over the lips of my pussy and I groaned, bucking my hips against his touch.

"So needy. How bad do you want my cock?"

"So bad," I breathed.

"Then beg for it, angel," Noah bit down on the skin between my neck and shoulder.

I nearly hissed in pleasure and pain.

"Please, Noah. I want your cock," I begged with a whine.

Both of us moaned when he pressed deep inside of me, his cock stretching my walls around him.

"Keep your hands on the window," he ordered.

I was too far gone in how his cock felt inside of me I barley nodded as his one arm wrapped around my stomach while the other tighten around my throat. Noah squeezed until I felt the air being ripped away from me, his cock slamming into me with no reserve. He didn't hold back, and I didn't want him too. I wanted it to hurt, wanted it to burn, that I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow. And this position he had me in made him hit the exact spot that made my vision blur.

When I felt the darkness cascading over me due to how tight he was gripping my throat, Noah eased his grip and I swallowed a large gulp of air. My orgasm was so close, I just needed a little something to have it wash over me. As my hand moved to my clit, Noah smacked my ass, the sound echoing throughout the small room.

"Noah," I groaned, wanting to feel the sting again.

So he smacked my ass again, then a third time, and a fourth then after the fifth strike, he palmed the heated skin. I was writing in his embrace which made him grunt in frustration.

"I need to go deeper," he said while lifting me off of the couch, cock still buried deep inside of me.

He set me down in front of the wall next to the door of the room and kicked my legs apart while pulling my hips away from the wall. I had to brace my hands against it so I could keep myself balanced. He had us perfectly hidden behind the door that if someone walked in, they would only see Noah's bare chest.

"Why won't you come with me?" He questioned again, hips now moving in slow languid strokes.

"Noah," I whined while pushing my hips against him. I needed the fire that he brought on by his erratic thrusts.

"Answer. Me." He enunciated each word with a stroke of his cock.

I shook my head. "I can't."

"Yes."

Thrust.

"You."

Thrust.

"Can."

Thrust.

These thrusts were hard, and I cried out in pain, biting my lip when I realized how loud I was. Almost instantly, there was a knock on the door and Noah's hips stilled for a moment then leaned his body over mine to whisper in my ear.

"Not a sound, angel."

With a quick run of his hand through his messy hair, Noah opened the door just far enough that whoever was on the other side couldn't see past him.

"Everything alright?"

Jolly's accent flowed through the room and I froze in Noah's bruising embrace, his hands digging into the skin of my hips.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Noah answered.

I couldn't see Jolly but I'm sure his brow was raised. "We thought we heard someone scream."

A small whimper crawled its way through my throat when Noah began moving his hips again and I bit down on my lip tasting blood so I could keep quiet.

"It was Y/N. She was watching something on her phone and it scared her."

The way this man easily lied was almost shocking.

"She still here?" Jolly asked.

As I peered over my shoulder, I saw Noah nod. "Yeah."

Jolly hummed before rapping his knuckle against the door. "Use protection."

The door had shut so fast I nearly jumped in Noah's hands with how loud it slammed. I saw a tattooed hand wrap around my throat to haul me up against his warm chest.

"I told you to be quiet," he hissed low in my ear.

"I'm sorry," I said and tried to make him move his hips again, missing the friction.

"Did you want him to know I was fucking this pretty pussy, hm? Does the idea of being caught make you wet?"

Oh, lord. This man knew exactly what to say to make my pussy gush with my arousal.

"Yes it doesn, I can feel the way your pussy grips my cock," Noah groaned in the crook of my neck.

"Noah, please. I'm so close," I said breathlessly.

His finger pressed on my swollen clit and rubbed in fast, short circles, while he thrusted into me over and over, the pace bone shattering.

"Cum for me, angel. I'm right behind you."

We both groaned out our release as Noah fucked me through the aftershocks, my knees buckling from the intensity of it all. Noah fell to the ground with me right after him, his arms wrapping around me as I leaned into his chest. I wasn't sure how long we lay there tangled in each other, but the solace of it all made my eyes heavy with exhaustion.

"Y/N?"

I hummed in response to Noah, unable to speak.

"I won't ask you again to come on the road with me. I told you in the beginning I won't force you to do anything you don't want too but can you promise me that when the tour is over, we can give this a shot?"

Looking up at him, I left a soft kiss to the array of tattoo's on his chest. "I don't know, Noah. My last relationship fucked with my head so much I don't know how to be in something so normal."

"You don't even want to try?"

I sat up with a sigh and ran a hand through my messy hair, trying to tame it. "Like you said, maybe once the tour is over we can talk about things."

Noah sat up after me and gave me a curt nod. "Sure."

Now after the sex haze had faded, the tension returned, and I hated how fast a good thing between us was ruined all because I couldn't commit to something so perfect; someone so perfect because of my own fucked up brain. Why did I even come here tonight? All I ended up doing was messing with Noah's heart even more.

I hastily gathered my clothes and got dressed, not once meeting Noah's gaze.

"I should really leave. It's late and I have to drive home. I'll see you later?," I said once dressed, eyes still glued to my feet.

Noah nodded while resting his elbows on his knees. "Bye, angel."

I was going to be late; so fucking late.

With the coffee clutched tightly in one hand, I dragged my suitcase behind me after I waved off my Uber driver and looked around the almost empty parking lot of the hotel. An ungodly loud yawn crawled its way out of my throat as I checked the time on my watch. It was almost ten in the morning and I was running on no sleep, well besides the half hour I got on the long car ride here. But the nerves of what I was doing woke me up. All night and early this morning, my brain had fought tooth and nail with my heart about my decision.

He's going to hurt you. You can't trust him, you barley know him-brain.

I don't care. No one has ever made my body come alive the way he has. The way I flutter every time he talks or laughs. The way his eyes light up whenever he looks at me tells me everything I need to know-heart.

In the end, my heart won and here I was standing in the parking lot of the hotel Folio sent me looking for their tour bus hoping they hadn't left yet. I didn't tell Folio why I needed to know what hotel they were staying at but I'm sure he knew. Also, Noah must have gotten my number from Britt because he called me halfway through my drive and when I didn't answer, he left me a four worded voicemail.

"Please come with me."

After leaving Noah last night, about a half hour into the drive home, I knew I would turn back around almost as soon as I returned. The thought of breaking Noah's heart for leaving again made my stomach churn with something so sour, I knew I couldn't do it. He was ready to give us a shot, so why shouldn't I? Noah was nothing like Jacob, he's already shown me that.

"I might have blown the best thing that could happen to me," I grumbled to myself as I reached the back of the hotel parking lot.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I saw the Bad Omens tour bus parked with their lower doors open, suitcases littered around it. Jolly descended from the bus and when he saw me walk up, he crossed his arms over his chest, an amused smile on his face. Thoughts of last night when he almost caught Noah, and it made my cheek blush red. Thankfully, I didn't have to face any of the guys when I left the bus last night since I assumed they all retreated to their bunks.

"About time," he chuckled while taking my bag from me and tossing in the bus's underpart.

I stared at him. "What?"

"The Nick's and I were wondering when you were going to show up."

"Did Folio say something?" I asked, worried the surprise was ruined.

Jolly shook his head. "Noah's been in a mood all morning so we figured it was because he thought you weren't coming with. But we knew you'd end up changing your mind."

I scoffed and took a large drink of my now cold coffee as Nick and Folio exited the hotel, their own bags slung around their shoulder. When their eyes landed on me, Nick smacked Folio's shoulder while the latter chuckled.

"You're late," Folio commented.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm running on thirty minutes of sleep, Folio. I didn't get home till almost five in the morning and had two hours to pack and get things in order before finding an Uber that would drive me three hours back here."

He ruffled my already messy bun and tossed his bag along with the rest of them. "Noah's on the bus, why don't you head up there."

"Are you guys fine with this? I don't want to impose."

Nick gave my shoulder a light shove, pushing me towards the bus. "His bunk is the third one on the bottom left."

Following his directions, I stepped onto the quiet bus and when I stopped in front of Noah's bunk; the curtain was drawn, and a soft snore echoed in my ears; I let my purse and laptop bag drop to the floor quietly and set my coffee next to it all. The curtain made no noise as I peeled it back seeing Noah's sleeping form curled underneath a blanket. Kicking off my shoes, I climbed into the bunk with him and wrapped my arm around his bare chest, leaving an array of soft kisses against the tattoos there.

Noah stiffened with my touch and slowly opened one eye, staring down at me. I gave him a lazy smile and pulled the blanket over me, cuddling closer into his warmth.

"Fuck, I'm so tired. Can you scoot over a bit? I'm about to fall off," I joked.

Suddenly realizing I was lying next to him, Noah had me pinned to the bed, hips pressing hard into mine. I could feel the outline of his cock through his sleep shorts against my leggings and a soft moan fell from my lips. I was too exhausted to change into something nicer and knowing I would be lounging on the bus called for something comfortable.

"You came," he breathed into the crook of my neck.

I ran a hand through his sleep-tousled hair and left a kiss on his forehead. "You called."

[rntoshi]

— isagi yoichi (n): the unintentional fuck boy.

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏/ • yoichi is pro, all characters are adults.

no one would ever think to associate the term “fuck boy” to the heart of gold that is isagi yoichi. the blue eyed ravenette comes across as such a sweetheart when people first meet him. a bit hardheaded if you really know him, but a sweetheart, nonetheless. there's so much passion and drive behind his eyes that it's charming— alluring to the hopeless romantic type for the fact that they like to daydream about what could be. anyone could get lost in a fantasy about being swept off their feet by a pretty face like isagi, he makes it effortless really. golden retriever energy is what you would call it. it's why he's so popular with women, he comes across as this boy next door who’s so willing to do anything to achieve a goal he has set in his heart. that's the image he's painted for himself in the public eye, and not that it's inaccurate: it just simply doesn't translate well into his love life.

one of his issues is... isagi doesn't realize just how attractive he is. as it's been said before, he's himbo adjacent. the attention he gets... he sums it up as getting “lucky.” his friendliness can be perceived as flirting, even more so that he doesn't take into account that he's one of the hottest players in the blue lock program. his gorgeous face and his athletic but lean physique make him physically attractive but it's also the mannerisms he possesses as well. little things like being the type to place a gentle hand on the small of your back if he's trying to walk past you in a crowded area. a polite “excuse me, I'm sorry.” leave his lips and the prettiest smile when you two make eye contact lingers just a second too long. or the crease between his brows when he's frustrated or tired— running both hands through his hair which exposes his forehead. it.

he never intends to, but he can't help but to well... get cold feet after the climax of one of his newfound “flings.” once the initial excitement has passed, it's not as appealing for him anymore but there's a reason for this. it's his post nut clarity that gets him every time. that immediate clear mindedness or soberness a guy gains after blowing his load. lying in bed with a girl as she talks about their future— the pillow talk goes well until the plans she proposes clash with his career. isagi has a tendency to equate entertaining the thought of a relationship as him putting priority towards just that, and not his real passion. it's just that isagi is at a point in his career where... nothing will ever amount to how important his job is to him. he's dedicated so much time and effort to get to the point where he is now. its time consuming and mind plaguing, it's the long-lasting effects that blue lock has had on him throughout the years. it's built an insane work ethic and need to crave more. nothing can or will get in the way of him and his vision. it's a curse all athletes have and unfortunately isagi yoichi, our sweet mc, is not an exception. it probably affects him the worse, really.

these girls he gets involved with always seem to have a trend of leaving feminine items in his gym bag. thongs, bras, hair scrunchies and even jewelry in hopes of isagi returning them. some girls do it for his attention and others do it because they want to plant this seed that isagi is “seeing” them. the paparazzi can catch anything and will often seek for certain shots if they're tipped off.

it's kind of funny because out of everyone, raichi is the one who discovers isagi is a bit of a whore. it's a regular day at practice when all the boys were in the locker room getting themselves situated before hitting the field. isagi is sitting on the bench when he pulls out his cleats, and in the process a hot pink thong falls on the floor beside raichi's feet where he foot only a couple feet away. of course, blondie gives isagi a hard time about it.

“tch, you still seein' that one brunette, huh? she your girl yet?” raichi picks up the pair of panties, leaning against the locker with a smug smile twirling the skimpy garment around his pointer finger before sling shotting it back to isagi.

“hah.. no.” isagi lets out a small, breathy chuckle as he catches the underwear. he's a little embarrassed but it's nothing he's not used to. “i met someone else. she's a sweet girl though.”

“the hell are you talkin' about? you were just screwing this other chick last monday.” raichi raises a brow as he straightens his posture, only now realizing why isagi never said a specific name. it's because they were all different girls. ha, that's rich.

“ah.. well yeah.” isagi gives a shy smile, scratching the back of his neck before he shoves the panties back into his bag, in a smaller and more discreet pocket. raichi only shakes his head before turning around back to his locker.

“it's always the humble ones.” raichi mumbles to himself.

yoichi finds himself puzzled at how often these kinds of things end up in his possession at the most inconvenient times but he never thinks too deeply about it. his indifference to the situation makes them want to chase him even harder. do even more outlandish things to get his attention when his tunnel vision is impossible to break.

he routinely goes to the gym after these one-night stands. it’s like a detox but for his mind, cleansing it of all the diluted thoughts that fogged his vision. it's almost like his own form of meditation.

there’s something so hot about isagi working out after a hookup. it's the post sex glow he has, the thin layer of sweat on his body, the determined look in his eye as he pushes himself past his usual limits. his cock is semi hard in his sweats from his endorphins, creating a prominent print under the gym's harsh lighting. he feels like a brand-new man after. refreshed and ready for the next fight on the field.

isagi is sweet! he really is! he doesn't like making girls cry. but he can't help that he's awful at texting back or returning calls. yoichi just forgets, getting too caught up in practice, games and press conferences.

it's not all isagi's fault though, because he is such sweetheart and can come across as a little manipulative, women often think they can take advantage of securing a marriage with a professional athlete. most are in for a rude awakening when their plans fall short while others simply pick up on the behavior and more onto the next team with the next player.

it won't be like this forever though. i believe this version of isagi is the kind of guy to realize he's fallen in love with his childhood best friend. isagi is known to be extremely loyal so any relationships that have already been established are taken quite seriously by him. you were that sweet girl who lived next door to him for years. you always had cute band aids for when he scraped his knees and yummy snack to share after school. you weren't very athletic, but you always cheered for him even during his loses. you were also one of his biggest support systems when he was going through the blue lock programs. you've always been an anchor in his life and it's something he doesn't realize until you two lose contact for a couple years.

it's funny how things work out too because it just so happens that you two visit home around the same time. when he sees you in your mother's flower garden you had only gotten prettier. you're wearing a flowy sundress and a sunhat; he thinks it's so cute— refreshing to see in contrast to the girls that usually approach him. there's a moment where you finally lock eyes with him, and it makes his tummy drop.

and he realizes he's in love.

© rntoshi 2023. do not modify or repost.

[velvetvexations]

There's this intuitive feeling around mpsec orientations that are like, "but that's just not what the word means!", but if you really dig in the issue is that orientations don't really make a lot of sense conceptually because they're inherently tied to binary sex.

For instance, I'm a trans woman. Yet, until I get my tits, anyway, if I'm not wearing a big red bow like Ms. Pac-Man it would be completely impossible to guess that just from looking at me. Because trans women are women, a lesbian could date me and keep her lesbian card, at least among trans positive crowds.

For TERFs, this sounds like a win at first, like I'm pointing out a way in which being trans doesn't make sense because if a lesbian is into someone who looks exactly like a cis man she can't be a lesbian, right? Except...cis lesbians have been made fun of, harassed, and terrorized for their masculinity as far back as can be remembered. Even straight women have been put through the ringer if they don't look feminine enough - I will, for the millionth time, point to Chyna - but among lesbians specifically there have been countless women who could plausibly pass for men if they put just a little bit of effort into it, and many did because being butch as hell is something to be celebrated even if they didn't frame their far-end-of-the-scale butchness as wanting to "pass for men". They could have.

So in both cases, trans or cis, being attracted to a woman who is identical to society's idea of a man is not a disqualifier from being a lesbian. "Political" or "mspec" lesbianism, identifying with lesbianism for a reason other than definitionally being attracted solely to people who identify as women, is the only way the idea of being a lesbian makes sense. It's the only way being gay or straight makes sense. Because gender is so arbitrary, there's no way to make it work unless you're willing to enforce a strict binary that very few queer people want.

Like if you think girls can/should only have soft delicate features and wear lipstick and dresses, fine, I guess it's logically consistent to say being a lesbian is physical attraction to a fixed, limited set of features. But if you're willing to broaden your horizons to any extent, what being attracted to a woman means quickly breaks down. A TERF would say it's physical sex that matters and something something AMAB vaginas aren't the same but I'd like to take a Kinsey Detector and scan a lesbian who loves getting strapped by a hyper-masculine butch to see where she lands.

So there are all these situations where we say "still a lesbian", even though logically the people who are into those girls should be plenty capable of being attracted other people. To bring it back to the trans point of view, I don't really understand how a lesbian could be attracted to me and then turn around and say lesbianism is based purely on what gender you're attracted to, while some would be viciously mean to her and accuse her of transphobia (which I would hate) if she weren't into me. Because what if, hypothetically, I woke up tomorrow and said "you know, I think I'm feeling more comfortable thinking of myself as a man these days " - that changes everything over night? That lesbian is no longer attracted to me when I change my pronouns? What if I had already been thinking that and I just didn't say anything about it, was she attracted to a man for a brief period of time?

Gender and how we classify attraction is just very, very arbitrary. Gender abolitionists see trans people as reinforcing gender, but I've always said that if they thought about it for two seconds they'd realize trans people are a deathblow to everything they hate about gender. They can't separate gender from sex so they see it as trans people wanting every girl who's not traditionally feminine to be boys and every boy who's not traditionally masculine to be women.

And, well, that's one reason I hate egg shit because yeah that is actually kinna doing that. It's at least reinforcing pink=girl mentality. Like to be clear, I'm not saying you can't associate girlhood with the color pink, I just think that when a cis man likes the color pink and you go "have you tried estrogen?" you're not just associating the two concepts but actively backing up the societal expectation that to like pink is to be a girl. It's like the difference between associating candy canes with Christmas and being convinced it's somehow already December again when you see peppermints being sold in the middle of March.

But other than that, which I've gone on the record against over and over, trans people are smashing society's concept of gender into pieces. "Orientation" as traditionally thought of must naturally also come down because it rests atop that foundation.

[dross-the-fish]

I found myself thinking of Jekyll today and wondering if it causes him physical pain to have to fake a smile. To what extent is Henry Jekyll, pleasant doctor and sophisticated upperclass gentleman a painful mask he has to wear and does the discomfort ever feel physical?

I was at the local aquarium today (this is the perfect time of year to go because it's open but there are no tourists so it's never crowded and admission is cheap) hanging out and doodling on one of the benches while I watched the fish. I had on headphones to listen to an audio book and to provide a buffer between myself and anyone who might try to talk to me and I had been looking forward to relaxing for a couple of hours when a family walked up and the father waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention. The minute they started asking me questions about what I was drawing I was filled with what I can only describe as intense dismay.

Obviously the family being present isn't in of itself an issue, it's a public aquarium, it's aimed at families and parts of the aquarium are geared specifically at children, but the family noticed me drawing and stopped to talk to me.

I reiterate that this was not something they did wrong, they were just being friendly, but I was really not prepared to have a conversation and I found the whole ordeal to be...well an ordeal. They were interested in what I was drawing (a sketch of Henry Jekyll because he's been on my mind off and on) and just the thought of having to explain who this character was, hoping they got it, and having to potentially explain why I was drawing him felt overwhelming.

And it was, they did not know who Henry Jekyll was, they were vaguely aware of Jekyll and Hyde but weren't the type of people to read classic literature and had never heard of the musical or actually seen for themselves any movies featuring the character. The mom commented that he looks like "a Disney villain from back in the 90s" which...fair assessment, I can't pretend I don't see why she would have thought that. The older kid was probably the most interested and wanted to see more of my drawings which made me really uncomfortable but I let him look through my sketchbook anyway because his parents kept saying he was interested in drawing and he loves art and I felt too anxious to say no.

I made small talk with the parents for a while, all the usual, "what's your name, where you from, what's your job?" (I hate those questions, they are usually the least interesting things about any people, myself included) and I wondered if this is what Henry does on a regular day. Has ordinary conversations with reasonably nice people and feel completely like a fish out of water the whole time. I felt pretty terrible about it too, I didn't have any hard feelings or resentment but the whole time I was thinking "Stop touching my things, go away, please fucking leave so I can get back to my audio book and my drawing. I just wanted to sit with the fish for a few hours because it's supposed to be quiet here this time of year."

No one ever seems to catch on that physically talking to people is an effort for me. I've gone my whole life and no one has ever noticed that I'm anxious or uncomfortable in situations where I have to speak out loud because I've gotten good at faking small talk and I know how to make my voice sound pleasant.

It's strange because I express myself easily enough in writing and I like messaging with people over text but the minute I have to be verbal with people I don't know I feel like I'm putting on an immense effort. I have to consciously choose a tone, figure out what words I want to say, be ready with an explanation in case I'm asked questions and I have to do all of it in real time on the spot. It feels like improve, like I'm constantly doing an improve routine and I know most people would say "Just be yourself!" But myself doesn't want to be doing this at all. Myself wants to be drawing and looking at fish. Even as a child I was never very social, I liked to doodle or daydream or build with my lego sets. I got reprimanded a lot for being too quiet. So I made myself more talkative and learned how to hold conversations. I learned to blend in but it's so tiring at times and I can swear when it's at its worst it feels almost physical. The discomfort becomes a suffocating "texture" on my skin and in my brain and I have to keep pretending like I don't notice it because every time I try to articulate how I feel people don't understand it. It's just not a thing they experience.

So I just keep "acting normal," and wonder if there's something wrong with me, like I'm operating on a different frequency from the people around me and I'm the only one on that frequency so other people don't even know it exists. It's...incredibly isolating at times. Even my partner doesn't seem to hear the world as loud as I do or experience the "texture" it's just a strange THING that I'm stuck with by myself. I wonder if it was the same for Henry Jekyll? Except instead being of too quiet he was too loud, too boisterous, threw tantrums, didn't know when to stop rambling about anatomy and weird gross medical facts. So he learned how to cover it and move through life pretending to be interested in everyone else but keenly aware they could never share his interests because his favorite subjects were too grisly and if he started talking about diseases he'd put everyone off. I head-canon Jekyll loves what he does, but he doesn't love it for reasons a doctor should, he doesn't care that much about healing the sick, he cares about conquering illnesses, he likes to learn about symptoms, he enjoys the disgusting viscera of his work. But he can't let on that this is what he enjoys about his work because that's not noble or heroic, it's something most people would find creepy of him. So he buries it and pretends he cares about curing the sick. He pretends he enjoys talking to people who don't know anything about who he is or what he does but they think they do because they are aware of doctors and understand that medicine exists. All the time he loathes it, it exhausts him and he can't even indulge in activities he enjoys to blow of steam because he enjoys things like brawling, doing drugs, and fucking. All things a man of his status shouldn't be seen doing. There's an image people associate with Henry Jekyll and it's an image he can't afford to tarnish...

but it's not really HIS image, it's just a buffer he keeps up to make himself more palatable. I wonder if that ever hurts him physically, if the mask ever feels like a "texture" muffling him.

there are times when I feel like it's no wonder he wasn't repulsed by Hyde when he first saw his reflection. Because I can only imagine by the time Hyde showed up he was already completely burnt out on being Jekyll.

[distant-velleity]

cat got your tongue?

Summary: Five times Yuhua didn't say what he thought and one time he finally snapped at someone other than Ace (verbally. You don't get the physical beatdown yet). Word count: 3.6k+ A/N: LMFAO okay so. I had this idea like 3 weeks ago but I only got around to writing it recently. It's ... honestly somewhere between serious and slightly crack treated seriously but yk fuck it we ball. No beta. Outsider POV. FloYu crumbs and everything. Let's go. (Also a sneak peek at my new OC :))) ) Taglist (lowk forgot who's on this so uhhhhh. Some people might have been tagged incorrectly): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@boopshoops @skriblee-ksk @nemisisnemi @nyx-of-night @scint1llat3

@the-banana-0verlord @beneathsakurashade

~

I. 

One day where he can make it out of the cafeteria in peace. That’s all Florian wants. And yet—

“Hey, freak. Where’s that meal combo you promised to get for me? And the homework you said you’d do for me?”

Eeeek!!!

Florian almost bursts into tears on the spot when someone in his grade, a burly bear beastman, grabs him by the back of his collar. It hasn’t even been two weeks into the school year and this guy, Darren, has made it his personal mission to target the weakest student he could find. 

“Uh—um—I—” Aaaahhhh!! Get me out of here!!!!! “M—My housewarden, Rosehearts, he… He caught me trying to do your homework for you, a-and…”

“Bullshit,” Darren snaps, “You—”

He’s cut off when someone bumps into him—that someone being none other than the magicless assistant, Yuhua. 

Yuhua. Florian’s saved! He’s really saved! Surely, the person who’d suddenly gotten involved with Heartslabyul’s tyranny and pulled off such heroic moves can do something about this…!!

“Whoa… Sorry. What’s going on here?” asks Yuhua.

Darren glares at him, and Florian wilts from second-hand fear. “Nothing, just a talk between classmates. Keep moving.”

Florian gives Yuhua the most pitiful, pleading, desperate look he can in the hopes that it’ll communicate a cry for help.

It seems to work, because the TA turns to the other freshman and tilts his head. “Yeah… That’s definitely all that’s going on? No intimidation or anything?”

“How’s any of that your business?”

“Hey—” Yuhua throws up his hands in a placating gesture, although his expression looks very bothered. “I’m just asking…”

Well, that doesn’t work. Darren lets out a low growl from the depths of his throat. “Who the hell do you think you are, seriously? You think a bunch of rumors are gonna make me afraid of you? Fuck off already.”

Yuhua frowns. “Then… Then maybe you shouldn’t consider doing this in the middle of the cafeteria if it’s private business?”

“Are you kidding me?” Another pissed off growl, and Darren shoves Yuhua. “I could burn you to ashes like it’s nothing. Don’t forget that you’re magicless.”

It’s not directed at Florian, really, but he can’t help but wither and shrink into himself even more on Yuhua’s behalf. Scary… He wants to say something to defend Yuhua, to say that everything’s fine, but—when he looks over at the TA…

Yuhua opens his mouth automatically as if to say something, then closes it. Florian isn’t nearly good enough at reading that kind of complicated expression yet, but he seems to consider something deeply for a second. “Jeez… You know what?”

“What?”

Florian stays silent, eyes wide. He mentally echoes the question—what? Did Yuhua come up with a genius plan to de-escalate the situation? Or to retaliate? Please, please, say this knight in shining armor will do something—

“I just remembered, Crewel needs Florian for something~” Putting on a smile that seems fake even to Florian, Yuhua switches up his mood like it’s nothing. “Sorry. Maybe we can resolve this another time.”

Florian and Darren blurt out, “Huh?” at the same time. 

“Come on. He won’t wait forever.” Yuhua pats Florian on the shoulder and uses that to quickly weave them into the crowd of students, making their escape. As much of an escape as it can be called—they’re really only saved by being smaller compared to the beastman, small enough to get through the lunch line mob.

Sigh…

To be honest, Florian was expecting something a little cooler after seeing Yuhua’s defeat of Riddle, but as long as he’s safe for now…

—

II.

It’s a beautiful day outside, the birds are chirping, and the flowers are blooming… something like that. Meanwhile, Ace could be doing something fun right now, but he’s stuck doing an assignment for potions class. Collecting ingredients in the botanical garden… does it get more boring than that? Someone, free him already.

At least he’s pretty sure Yu’s around here somewhere. So, once he’s done collecting a jar-ful of some plant with a name too long to memorize, he’s off to find his yellow-eyed partner in crime.

Making sure to avoid the tropical zone (Yu had warned him about a… uh, certain lion beastman taking naps there), Ace navigates the garden with the ease of a slightly-familiar tourist. The TA had said he’d be near the entrance, so—

“Well? What are you just standing there for?”

…Huh?

Ace turns a corner on the path and is immediately greeted by a sight he probably should have expected—a fight, or something, a commotion smack in the middle of the botanical garden.

“You—Is there some cue I’m missing here?” asks Yu, and Ace realizes with some horror that he’s holding a very obviously bruised cheek. Umm, what the fuck? “Is this suddenly your… territory, or something?”

The other guy, the one who’d spoken earlier, crosses his arms. “No… but I told you to scram already, so scram. Just seeing a magicless charity case here makes me sick.”

Magicless charity case. It’s not the first time Ace has heard those words directed at Yu, and it definitely won’t be the last. Still, it makes his blood boil, and by the looks of it Yu is getting pretty pissed, too. 

Ace steps forward, finding his place next to Yu. “Uh, who the hell even are you?” he asks the other guy. “Don’t talk to Yu like that.”

“Ace?” Yu blinks. “What are you—”

“See? A charity case.” The other guy tsks. “You even need a freshman to help you out.”

No, seriously, what is this guy’s deal? What did Yu even do to warrant getting hit and treated like this? Ace swears the TA is a magnet for trouble. 

“He’s not—” Yu closes his mouth, and takes a deep breath. “Okay, then. Have it your way. Ace, did you get everything you needed?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Great. Let’s go.”

Even though Yu is a solid eleven or so centimeters shorter than him, Ace finds himself being dragged out of the garden by the coat lapels. He stumbles, but Yu keeps pressing forward, storming away until they’re well out of earshot from that prick.

Finally, Yu lets go.

“What was that?” Ace demands, straightening his labcoat to the best of his ability.

“I don’t know,” mutters Yu. “Some asshole. I don’t even know his name.”

“Okay. And why did we just leave like that? He hit you, didn’t he? And what he called you—you’re just gonna let that slide?”

Ace is, to be frank, nothing short of bewildered. Doesn’t Yu have any sort of dignity, a sense of, what, honor? Yes he does, Ace is pretty sure he’s seen it, so why didn’t he just… you know… let himself be mad?

Yu rolls his eyes. “It’s fine. There were still other students there, you know. I didn’t want to cause a scene.”

Cause a—

“Now, can we go to the infirmary? I don’t like talking to the nurse on my own.”

“You—”

Oh, what the hell. 

Ace doesn’t get it at all, he wishes Yu would have stood up for himself, but fine. That stupid bruise won’t heal itself.

—

III.

To call the Mostro Lounge boring would be inaccurate. With a bustling population of both students and employees at most times of the day, there’s always some entertainment to be had for Jade. Especially when he’s on the job, serving drinks and handling disputes.

But, well… That isn’t to say he minds when there’s a bit of additional drama. Especially on the day when Azul has asked Yuhua to cover someone’s shift.

CRASH!

An Ignihyde student shoves the TA, although it looks like a mere accident—a rush to get back to his well-earned seat after using the bathroom. Consequently, the drinks for their table are spilled… all over Yuhua, who’s been knocked to the ground.

“What the hell?!” demands the student. “You clumsy little bitch—those were our drinks!”

Stunned, Yuhua is frozen, staring at the fallen drinks in shame. “I—”

Oh, dear. There’s a bit of a berth forming around them, multiple people craning their heads to look at the source of the shouting, but Jade can get a good look even from this distance. 

“I can’t believe this.” The student continues to go on a tirade, complaining about the service, about whoever let Yuhua work—and finishes off with, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Oh my—what arrogance. 

Jade is rather certain, actually, that this Pomefiore student was one of many who had been turned into anemones by Azul just a few weeks ago. It seems that he’s painfully unaware of how much Yuhua had sacrificed to save his sorry hide, however.

And Jade is certain that the same thought is running through Yuhua’s mind right now, although he can’t quite see his face. The TA digs his long nails into the fabric of his pants, a clear sign of suppressing anger.

Oh, dear~ Perhaps, it’s time for Jade to extend a helping hand—

Instead of fighting back, Yuhua lets out a soft sigh that blows his bangs out of his face. The action reminds Jade something of a popped balloon.

“Sorry,” the pitiful TA replies, finally raising his head. His expression is neutral despite the remaining redness of his cheeks. “I’ll take care of it. You’ll be rightfully compensated for this.” Said a bit despairingly, resigned. 

It seems to appease the student, who grumbles a little more before sitting back down. 

Yuhua’s lips set into a thin line for a moment. He gets himself back onto his feet, only kneeling down again to collect the fallen drink glasses and tray. The other waiters make a respectful, awkward space around him as they walk by.

How… disappointing. Jade would have anticipated more of a fight, based on not only certain rumors but also what he had seen during Azul’s Overblot, but it seems Yuhua hadn’t quite reached the boiling point just now. Instead, he’d settled for people-pleasing.

If it were me, thinks Jade with a pleasant smile on his face, I wouldn’t have let that ungrateful anemone escape with all his teeth and joints intact.

But in any case—

“Do you need any assistance?” he asks, approaching Yuhua.

He gets a surprised look for his troubles, and a rejection. “No, it’s okay…” Yuhua smiles, laughing it off. “The customer’s always in the right, right? I’ll handle it myself.”

Having been brushed off, Jade simply watches as Yuhua scurries back over to the kitchen counter.

Hmm. I wonder if he’s simply playing the long game, then…

—

IV.

Of all the places that Jamil usually expects to hear arguing, the library ranks last. Generally. Not that it’s always free from arguing, but that’s probably on him for having even the slightest faith in NRC students. 

Speaking of which, that’s exactly what he hears when he enters the library one day after classes: arguing. It’s coming from behind a shelf, so Jamil has to guess who it is based on voice alone.

“Please quiet down.” That’s… Crewel’s assistant, Yuhua. “Crewel needs me to borrow this, okay?”

“Uh, hello? Are you not good enough to be his assistant, or something? I need it more. So just hand it over already.”

Jamil stifles a sharp, stressed inhale. That’s a Scarabia student, no doubt—one of his former roommates. Ugh. And just when he thought he could skirt by without having to get involved. What a way to reflect poorly on our whole dorm…

He creeps around the side of the shelf, and what he sees confirms his well-educated guess. A student with a maroon armband towers over Yuhua, who holds a rather thick textbook in hand. The student’s back is to Jamil, but Yuhua’s expression is still visible…

Wait a minute. What the hell? Is… Is Yuhua glaring at the taller guy?

Jamil recalls a conversation he’d had with Ace just the other day: Ace had been in such a hurry to get out of practice that he’d caused multiple… inconveniences for others.

“Yu’s gonna kill me if I’m late for studying!” was his excuse.

“Why are you so scared of Yuhua?” Jamil had asked. Even though Yuhua had been… present, for his Overblot, he still didn’t quite get the control the TA seemed to have over the freshmen. 

“You don’t get it, man,” Ace had said. “I almost pissed myself the first time Yu got seriously mad at me. You don’t think anything’s happening because he’s just narrowing his eyes at you, but it’s like toggling a lightswitch. He gets violent out of nowhere.”

At the time, Jamil had shrugged it off with his normal amount of skepticism. Even though he had proved himself able to be as two-faced and cruel as any other student in this school (Jamil never, in his life, wanted to be on the receiving end of the full Octavinelle trio’s scheming again), Yuhua still seemed too… docile. Too naturally passive to be like that when angry. It wasn’t the first time Ace had exaggerated, either.

But now, he’s seeing all the warning signs Ace had mentioned. How Yuhua is narrowing his eyes like an irked cat. If he allows this to continue, then—Oh, great. A fight. In the library, no less. Another problem he’ll have to clean up because it’s his dorm’s student who likely started this mess and will inevitably get into trouble.

With a long-suffering sigh, Jamil steps forward to intervene—

“...Okay, fine,” Yuhua concedes, although it’s a bit of a reluctant grumble. He holds out the textbook instead of bashing it over the student’s head like Jamil had expected him to. 

A scoff. “See? Wasn’t that hard.”

“...Right.” Yuhua turns as the student walks away, so his expression is unreadable. 

Huh.

Jamil stares blankly for a few moments. That… did not go as he expected, at all. 

So much for ‘explosive anger,’ really. Yuhua had just given up.

Well, whatever. Jamil will just chalk it up to Ace’s overdramatic nature and think nothing of it. As long as it was resolved peacefully without needing him to risk grey hairs…

—

V.

When Vil calls for a rare water break, Rook takes the opportunity to observe the NRC Tribe’s stiffest fledglings. 

Today, again, they’ve taken on pirouettes in a corner where they can still see the mirror. Certainly, it makes for quite a sight: the normally-withdrawn TA trying to instruct two freshmen who have likely never seen a true ballet performance in their lives.

Rook had known Yuhua had a history in dance and music from the start—there was a clear lift to his chin and in his posture when he didn’t feel insecure, holding himself high and sitting on the edge of every seat. He walked with a slight turnout, and was light on his feet; not to mention the controlled expressiveness of his hands. However, the TA didn’t seem to enjoy flaunting these facts, making moments like these all the more enjoyable. 

“Epel.” Yuhua frowns, a little soft and yet a little frustrated. “Are you trying?”

The Pomefiore freshman bites the inside of his lower lip. “Uh, well…”

A sigh. “That’s about what I thought. Vil and I aren’t asking much: just a clean single so you can master the basics.” Yuhua crosses his arms. “Is something on your mind?”

“I just…” Epel grimaces. “I still don’t get it. What’s so manly about any of this turning?”

Ah, there it is again.

Rook does not intervene, continuing to observe, even though he can see Yuhua’s eyes briefly twitch into narrowing and his lips press into a strained smile. Any dancer would start to lose it after yet another generalization of their field, especially an ignorantly derogatory one. After multiple generalizations, in fact.

Like any trained performer, however, he smooths it down. That self-control is beautiful in its own right, no matter how strained.

“Manly, huh…?”

Epel yelps as Yuhua, deceptively calm, grabs his arm to adjust it.

“Your elbows are too stiff. Don’t interrupt the line; make them look round and effortless.” A tap to Epel’s back. “Don’t lean forward when you plié, you’re not about to break into a sprint; if your pelvis isn’t under you, then you’ll be off-balance when you turn.” And then, a nudge to the underside of Epel’s chin. “Don’t look at the ground. Look at yourself in the mirror. Keep your chin level so you can spot properly.”

The foundational advice is given almost clinically, automatically. Rook watches with keen interest as Yuhua withholds the same kind of scathing strictness Vil would have easily dished out, even though this must be the second or third time he’s had to say these things to Epel. 

“Deuce,” Yuhua asks levelly, “did you hear everything I just said?” To the trained ear, it sounds like a test, an I am on my last straw so there is only one correct answer here.

Thankfully, one of his students is more eager to learn than the other. “Yes!” is the earnest reply from the two of spades, who is already adjusting his posture after listening with the utmost dedication.

“Thank you.” Yuhua turns back to Epel. “We don’t have a lot of time. Just focus on improving for the SDC, okay?”

Epel bristles at being treated like a child, but nods. 

A smile spreads across Rook’s face. Ahh, the liveliness of a dancer and his mentees at work…

“Rook.” Vil’s voice snaps him out of his momentary reverie. “Let’s continue practicing.”

Right. Duty calls.

 “Of course~”

—

VI.

By now, Floyd had noticed, most people were learning to steer clear of starting shit with Yu. On top of him making more friends, on top of the (true) rumors that he’d Overblotted, most people had probably just accepted his presence.

(It also probably helped that Floyd regularly finds great joy in standing behind Yu and scaring off anyone who tried to be a problem.)

But, even then… 

Some people don’t take the hint.

Floyd doesn’t know how or why it started, only that when he walks into the courtyard of the main school building, there’s someone yelling at Yu like it’s his Seven-given right. It’s so loud, like a dog’s yapping. So annoying.

Bark, bark, bark. Floyd doesn’t listen to the full thing because it’s not worth his time, but it feels like it goes on for forever. To the point where people are gathering like it’s some kind of show, heads turning.

What a serious mood killer. Maybe Floyd should get involved, start a fight. Let everyone have a piece of this idiot. It doesn’t look like Yu will: he’s just standing there, silent, suffering quietly like he usually would.

“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?” taunts the nasally little offender. Of course, he’s the worst breed of coward—only able to say these things once Yu is on his lonesome. “No one’s here to defend you now, huh? Aren’t you gonna say something?”

Silence.

“Well?”

“Haaah…” Yu closes his eyes. “I’m seriously sick of your shit.”

“Huh—”

That’s the only thing the yapper can get out before Yu grabs him by the face. His fingers dig into the person’s cheeks, the palm of his hand conveniently muffling any complaints. If looks could kill, he’d be a murderer. 

“Didn’t you hear me the first time? I said I’m sick and tired of your bullshit!” Yu shouts. He angrily tightens his grip. “Listen, buddy, I don’t know who the hell you think you are—I don’t know who half the people at this school think they are—but someone needs to humble you, desperately. Have you heard yourself?” 

His voice reaches a high, mocking pitch: “Ohhh, no! There’s a magicless person at my school, but I think I deserve to be hot shit because I can make a few pathetic sparks with my magic! I’m gonna pick on him to assert my nonexistent dominance because I think he looks like a weak doormat!

“Yeah, well, womp fuckin’ womp. Being chosen by the Dark Mirror doesn’t mean anything. You’re just a copy-and-paste of every other small fry I’ve met at this school. Ego in the clouds, even though your performance is so bad that you reek of failed contracts and the threat of being held back. Am I right?” Yu scoffs without waiting for an answer. “Grow the fuck up already. Aren’t you embarrassed? Don’t you have any respect for anyone?” 

He lets go with a shove, pushing the previously-confident person to the ground. Yu’s heel finds a nice spot to rest on the student’s chest and send a message.

“Do us all a favor and actually have the bite to back up your bark next time. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

And even after yelling like that, Yu walks away like it’s nothing.

Oh, Sea Witch. Floyd feels ready and raring to kick ass again. 

That was great.

—

(bonus:

Riddle has no idea how he ended up in this situation, but here he is. Having ended up next to Floyd, watching Yuhua curse a student out.

For good reason, of course. But Riddle didn’t even know that the TA had that in him.

“...Well.” Riddle turns to leave—that’s enough of enjoying the ‘show’ for today. He makes to weave his way out of the crowd that’s gathered, but something makes him pause. He looks up.

There’s a dumb, dopey, lovestruck look on Floyd’s face. That’s the only way Riddle can think to describe his smile, mismatched eyes following after the exiting Yuhua.

…what can he even say in this situation? Riddle stifles an embarrassed grimace and walks away.)

[hyatoro]

Kayden Nguyen

Psychic!Yandere (x Psychic!Reader)

He is specifically paired with a Psychic!Reader in all situations.

Vietnamese Name: Bảo Nguyễn

American Name: Kayden Nguyen

Appearance: 5’9”, Long black hair that’s usually tied up, golden eyes, tan, wears thin breathable layers, medium build. (Picrew Image at bottom)

Setting: US suburbs

Post about his and reader’s Psychic Powers

Kayden is a Vietnamese-American who gained his psychic powers at birth. He was really fussy as a child, but that was because he was constantly overstimulated, having been born in the city. As he grew up his body adjusted and managed to suppress his mind reading so that it’d be limited to a certain area. Like he can expand and shrink the range of his mind reading. 

His parents thought he was super creepy as a child, and hushed him numerous times to stop being annoying and to stop pretending he knew stuff. He quickly learned that if he stopped sharing what he was feeling that his parents treated him better. Because he wasn’t spouting all this freaky predicting stuff that maybe it was just a phase and that they do have a normal child that was just a bit weird in the early stages. He got really good at pretending he was okay. 

Kayden chose his name from a name book when he got to 2nd grade, because a lot of the kids had a hard time pronouncing his name correctly. When he got mad at them they would then pester him on how to actually pronounce it. He got sick and tired of it so he just chose a new name. In the present day he likes both his names equally. So don’t come asking me about preferences using his “real” name or any of that nonsense. They’re both his names. Only introduces himself as Kayden nowadays unless he’s talking to family or family friends who are also Vietnamese. If he finds out you’re also Viet/know Viet then he’ll tell you his Viet name freely. Otherwise you’d have to ask if his parents named him Kayden and then he’d tell you his birth name. 

When he hit middle school his family moved to the suburbs, finally having the money to do so. This soothed him significantly. Their new home was decently large, having plenty of space between them and the neighbors. On days where it was just him at home he’d actually have some mental peace and quiet without the strain of having to keep his psychic aura bubble in check.

He went to college online, and developed a really strong online life. It’s how he interacts with people in a way that feels normal. The same way that everyone else does. 

He’s not a total shut-in however, having to go places to run errands and whatnot, but he keeps that to the lower end of the spectrum. He’s grateful to live in an age where so many things are contactless, but knows that he needs sunlight or he’ll go crazy in a different way. 

Likes drinking beer a lot. Not in a party animal way but because it eases his mind and lets him relax. Likes drinking with his dad at the dinner table.

One day when he’s out and about, probably getting a physical copy of a game on the release day, he meets you. He can shrink the area of his mind reading range a decent amount, but he can still get overwhelmed in these small crowded stores where everyone is touching shoulders. 

As he mentally braces himself he walks in when he exhales. And nothing. There’s nothing. 

Not nothing, he can still hear and see and everything else, but he can’t hear anyone’s chittering thoughts. How?

He zeroes in on you. He knows it’s because of you because all the scattered energy is sinking into you like a void. What? 

Then you make eye contact with him and he can’t breathe. He’s staring at you like you’re some anomaly and that’s because to him you are. 

You’re staring at him to size him up. And you soon realize he’s like you. Only much more inexperienced. 

The difference between you two is that you had honed your skills so much more, becoming capable of doing other things with your psychic abilities other than just mind-reading. You give him an understanding smile. 

He is startled and at first takes mild offense, because who the fuck do you think you are?

Then you’re next in line and get your game. 

You leave ahead of him and he’s torn for a moment. Game? You? The choice is obvious. He chases after you. He can get another copy another time. You? He doesn’t know if he can find you again. 

Luckily for him you were waiting outside the store. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he’d want to talk to you. You greet him casually and he looks at you like his world view just got flipped. 

You give him the time he needs to pick his jaw off the floor before waving for him to follow you to a park bench across the street from the game store. He follows promptly, eyes darting around as he’s unsure of what’s happening. 

The mental silence is still actively happening and he has no idea how to react to it other than apprehension. When he finally sits down next to you, you introduce yourself. He does the same, introducing himself as Kayden.

You sit in silence waiting for him to speak. He stammers before taking a deep breath. 

"How? How do you do that?" He finally musters out. 

"The thing where you neutralize everyone's thoughts," he clarifies. 

You give him the gist of it. How you practiced because everything was so noisy. And how you learned to do other things. 

You're already aware that no one is paying attention to you two, so you hold your hand out and the pebbles from the ground fly to your palm. They're big enough that he can't blame the wind, though you can tell he's far from a skeptic. He’s looking at you in awe, like you just showed him how to clear a level by glitching through the walls. Literally unlocked an entire world to him. 

 Basically you explain to him that you were like him in the past, but decided to branch out to see what you were really capable of. Because I said psychic, not just mind-reading. 

You exchange numbers and plan to meet occasionally. In the times between, for the first time in his life, he actually tries to do all the cool psychic stuff he’s heard of. Despite being a clear example of the supernatural he figured that it was a case of grandeur and illusion. Like where you look at something and are like “haha thats cool but not how it works irl.” 

But it does. It works bud. He just never tried. Part of it was fear of being further ostracized by his family. He loves and cares about them, but he remembers how awful they made him feel when he was open about his powers as a kid. 

It becomes this mentorship where you’re guiding him how to better control his powers and he quickly becomes obsessed. You’re the only two that you two know that are like this. You weren’t as recluse as he was and you still note how he’s the first one you’ve met that shares these powers. 

He’s eternally grateful that you’ve shown him a better way to live and he idolizes you. He doesn’t dread going out anymore and he loves going out with you. Even simple errands have him scrambling for a decent outfit. 

You only negate the thoughts of people within a certain vicinity, kind of like a low battery function. One time when the two of you were together you left his side, which is fine, but he wasn’t on top of his shit so a flurry of thoughts rushed in, but one notable one was some dude eyeing you big time. He didn’t know where that hot flash of rage came from. Kayden zeroes in on this dude’s thoughts and basically screams at him with his own mind, not realizing what he’s doing, and it works. Huh? The dude’s thoughts do a 180 and silence themselves. Not in the way where he can’t hear them, or that they’re getting negated by you. It turns into white noise and he can breathe again. 

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath. 

You come back with your food orders and he flashes you a smile. 

You look at him funny, and he shivers as he feels the calming aura of you reaching into his mind, asking him if he’s alright. He loved it when you did this. It was so intimate, you were literally in his head, and it was something he knew no one else could do. 

He responds with an “I am now.” Because it’s true. It was just a momentary distraction. But you’re here now and everything is alright. It’s always alright when he’s with you. 

In a chill setting he mostly uses his new psychic powers to keep people away from you via tripping, mind redirection, etc. 

If things get bad, then he’s not above exerting himself to put a person into a coma. Literally can’t be traced back to him, and he doesn’t have any blood on his hands. 

Would never hurt you intentionally. Would never even try to control you (ever again). Because there was one time when he was getting riled up, frustrated that he couldn’t get this technique down when it was supposedly simpler than all the other stuff he’s learned, and when you tried to calm him he lashed out big time, mentally and physically yelling at you to shut up and fuck off. 

You heard him. You felt it. You felt that wave of that hint of psychic control that you were familiar with, but had promised you wouldn’t do to him. So when he did it to you in this burst of rage you were stunned. He immediately knew exactly what he did and lost the wind in his sails. Even though he hadn’t promised the same thing back at the time, since he wasn’t able to do that back then, he knew that it was an unspoken agreement. 

Regret and shame smack him fast and hard as he crumples to the ground, groveling in apology. 

You, after many deep breaths, manage to be the bigger person. Because it was clear that he had never done this before so he didn’t know how it felt to use that particular power. So you heave one final sigh and look at him, telling him to get up and that it’s fine. But you make sure he knows that this isn’t some three-strike system and that if he ever tries that shit again you will let him know what hell feels like. 

He thanks you and apologizes again, going to a nearby convenience store and getting you some snacks. And it works. You two eat your snacks and the tension is diffused. 

Kayden throws a mental block up against you as he wonders why your anger was kinda hot in hindsight. Hates it when you’re mad at him though. So he can only hope to be around when someone else pisses you off. 

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/31304

[archiveikemen]

"On-Screen Lovers" Story Event: Chapter 2

Nagi

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

Nagi: Yeah. The real reason why I was hesitant to accept the casting offer is—

Nagi: Because of romance scenes.

Rina: Eh? Romance scenes?

Nagi frowned.

Nagi: I’ve taken countless acting lessons to improve my expressiveness.

Nagi: That’s why, with enough practice, I should be able to manage. But…

Nagi: When it comes to romance scenes, I get embarrassed and can’t do well.

Nagi seemed troubled as he muttered with his eyes downcast.

I was surprised to hear that coming from him, given how he usually charmed many female fans.

(But I guess this is understandable, judging from his tough image.)

Rina: Do you happen to not watch romance movies?

Nagi: I don't watch them on my own accord. I’m not particularly interested in other people's love stories.

Nagi: So I don’t understand how to act in such a way that “makes my partner swoon”.

Nagi: Even if I’m told to put my experience in acting into good use, I just think it really depends on the situation and who my partner is…

When Nagi groaned in frustration, it made him feel more relatable to me for some reason.

Rina: … I know how you feel.

Nagi: What?

Rina: I think it’s a matter of course to feel embarrassed about romance scenes.

Rina: Besides, such scenes require you to act more delicate and that takes a lot of courage to do.

Nagi: … Are you trying to cheer me up?

Rina: Huh? Ah, no, I’m not trying to cheer you up or anything.

Nagi: I see.

Nagi didn’t say anything further, but his uneasiness was no longer there.

(I guess he feels a little better now? I hope he does.)

Nagi: Sorry for making you accompany me. I’ll deal with the rest myself.

Rina: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Rina: Perhaps you could take a break from acting for a bit and look for a change of pace?

Nagi: … I guess.

After giving it a thought, Nagi looked at me like he just had an idea.

Nagi: In that case, shall we go out for a while?

…

Following Nagi, I was brought to a nightclub with a luxurious interior.

Despite the dim lighting, the patrons and staff had polished appearances.

(The security is tight too, this must be a really high-end club.)

I felt overwhelmed due to such glamorous places being unfamiliar to me.

Just then, Nagi grabbed my arm.

Nagi: Oi, hold on a second.

(Nagi…?)

Amidst the loud booming music, my heart went crazy when I became conscious of the lack of physical distance between us.

Nagi: This place is dark and crowded, don’t stray away from me.

Rina: … Okay, sorry.

(What am I getting self-conscious for? Nagi’s just being considerate of my safety.)

(Oh? There was a scene in the script where the pair went to a club together.)

Rina: By any chance, are you here to get a feel of the movie scene’s atmosphere while taking a breather at the same time?

Nagi: I guess. But the main reason is that I was invited by the owner of this club.

Nagi: We’ve been friends for a while now because of our common interest in dance.

Nagi: I got a text saying that I might like today’s event.

Rina: I see.

Hip-hop and EDM music, which were Nagi’s likes, had indeed been playing in the club since we got there.

I could tell that he was enjoying himself from the way his body naturally moved to the music.

(I’m glad he’s feeling better now.)

Rina: You should go ahead and get on the dance floor since we’re here. I’ll wait for you.

Nagi: What’re you talking about? You should dance too.

Rina: I don't usually come to clubs, so I don't know what I should be doing here…

When I hesitantly stepped away, the DJ’s voice could be heard across the floor.

DJ: Come on, starting from now is special time!!

DJ: Enjoy this sweet and mellow mix!

A gentle R&B tune started playing.

The moment the music changed, the people around us held hands and danced together.

Nagi: You said “since we’re here”, so you should dance too. I’ll teach you.

Rina: But…!

Nagi took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor.

Nagi: Don’t think too hard about it, just move your body and groove to the music however you like.

Nagi: The music has a basic rhythm pattern, so you only have to follow it and dance however you want.

Rina: Still…

Nagi: Just follow my lead, then.

He tugged on the hand he was holding and pulled me closer.

Our hips touched and my heart skipped a beat at the feeling of his body’s warmth.

Nagi: Come closer. I’ll support you.

Rina: Ah…

Before I could say anything, my body was swaying naturally to the music together with him.

The new experience felt so pleasant, I reflexively entrusted my body to Nagi.

Nagi: You’re good. That’s all you gotta do.

Rina: Really…?

Nagi: I’m not lying.

For a moment, I found myself captivated by Nagi’s smile.

(H-Has Nagi’s smile always looked like this?)

(He looks happy whenever he’s dancing, but that felt slightly different…)

Nagi was good-looking in every aspect, and I thought of him as someone who lived in an entirely different world from mine…

His gentle gaze made me feel as though we’ve become closer.

(This feels like a scene from the movie. Dancing and smiling together… we’re like a couple on a date.)

Just as that thought crossed my mind—

A nearby male patron bumped into me, causing me to stumble.

Rina: Kya…!

Nagi: Oof.

Nagi caught me.

Coming into contact with his muscular chest made my face burn up.

Rina: I-I’m sorr…

I turned my face up to catch his beautiful eyes staring right at me.

Our close proximity sent a sweet shiver through me, and all I could do was stare back at him.

Nagi: Are you okay?

Rina: Yes… thank you.

Feeling embarrassed, I replied in a small voice.

However, it was drowned out by the loud music, and so Nagi brought his face closer.

Nagi: Hm? What did you say?

(I can hear his voice right in my ear…)

I held my breath, our faces so close that they almost touched; and Nagi quickly pulled away.

Nagi: Sorry… my face was too close.

Rina: No! It’s my fault, sorry.

Our conversation was cut off and awkward silence hung in the air.

(My face got even hotter from thinking about how this feels like a date…)

Although I tried getting the thought out of my mind, my heart still wouldn't calm down.

In an attempt to mask my embarrassment, I spoke up in a cheerful tone.

Rina: I’m a little tired from dancing. I’ll go get us drinks.

Nagi: Then I’ll go. It's your first time here, you don't know your way around this place.

Nagi stopped me before I could say “but” and made his way to the back of the floor.

(It was my idea to get drinks, so I feel kind of bad…)

I ended up deciding to wait obediently for him.

And then—.

[kleoyeager78]

10 things I hate about you | 18

“Y/n I thought we were meeting after school, you miss me already?” Eren said trying to be funny but with the way you were breaking down you couldn’t even care,

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked Connie and Sasha but they both said they didn’t know.

He took a single look at you and sighed, “as much as I want to make fun of you I also want to smoke and don’t really want you in my presence” he grabbed your hand and pulled you up, “Let’s go”

He wasn’t being rough but when you tried to pull your hand away his grip tightened, “don’t we have P.E right now?” He asked looking at you and you nodded,

You figured he would take you to the field and stop there but no he began to look for something….someone.

And when he heard a loud commotion and saw a crowd he knew just where to find them,

Just as he thought, when he went to go look at what the rest of the crowd was looking at he saw just the girl he was looking for, Annie. She was cursing the girls who had tried to pick on you out and she was definitely going to get physical but Reiner and bertholdt were in the middle trying to diffuse the situation for whatever reason,

“I guess that’s why I beat them to the smoke session” Eren whispered to himself,

He still was holding your hand and you were too focused on the fight to pull away, you wanted to run and help Annie but you were embarrassed,

“What if she said something about my home life to all these people for trying to get in it?” You thought to yourself, you unconsciously let out a whining noise grabbing Erens attention,

“What started all this?” He asked you

“I-I-me” you looked at the ground embarrassed. You were the problem. You were getting Annie in trouble constantly and everyone knew it especially Annie but she wouldn’t let you be alone.

“What the hell did you do to make Annie wanna do more than say a few harsh words to someone? She looks like she’s ready to go all out,”

Soon you seen Sasha and Connie come running to the field. You guessed it was because their entire friend group didn’t show up because they were all outside watching Annie.

Your stomach rumbled due to anxiety and you tried to run away but Eren noticed and grabbed you, “fix this. If P.E ends and I don’t get to have a weed session your life is going to be hell” Eren said pushing me into the crowd,

“The way it already is” you said to yourself making your way to Annie,

when you got close to Annie you tried to form a sentence, “I um well, it’s okay” you got shy and everyone basically shut up, “yeah okay, it’s okay” was all you could say, and everyone looked at you wondering were you out of your mind

Abigail took it upon herself to make a snarky remark again, “don’t get involved y/n I don’t want you to get in trouble at home” she said loud enough for most people to hear her, and laughed. At this point Annie saw red and started yelling once again, you could tell bertholdt was nervous because he was sweating and he knew he couldn’t hold Annie for much longer,

You wanted to backup in a corner but you knew Eren would make life worse than it already was if you did so you opted to try and talk things out although all of what you said was mumbled because you had too much anxiety to talk clearly,

“Annie please don’t fight it’s not worth it” you mumbled, “she’s a bad person. They all are. We can just go home now and spend the weekend together. Listen to music on the way maybe? Maybe we can just run away and go to a different school that would be nice, I hope she didn’t say anything to you. If she did I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was embarrassed. I hate home. I don’t want to go there. Let's go to your house and talk this out, or we can talk about something else if that’s what you prefer, I know that’s what I prefer. Please stop” you were mumbling to the point you sounded like a mouse and no one could understand you, you were mixing unconscious and conscious thoughts together and weren’t making any sense and tears rolled down your cheeks, “I wish someone else was doing this, this is so embarrassing” you chuckled to yourself you knew you had already embarrassed yourself, All eyes were on you and you mumbled your ass off, what was the harm in laughing?

Just then it started to rain and everyone ran inside except for you and Annie but you couldn’t even look at Annie. You began to walk near a bench and sat down with your knees to your chest and cried, “I’m sorry” you cried you couldn’t help but shake, maybe you were cold? Maybe you were just tired, tired from barely getting sleep? Tired of living? Probably both,

“Don’t b-“ she started to talk but you interrupted her,

“I’m so fucking tired Annie, I don’t want this anymore I can’t I-“

Annie, who was standing right infront of you, kneeled down and put her forehead against yours, “don’t you dare say you can’t do this when we both know you can. It's September, wait until July to give up on me at least. Let’s make it through high school okay?”

You only cried harder. You weren’t capable of making such a statement nor a promise like that you begin to get up and walk away,

You couldn’t take such a pain,

You got humiliated every day but the fact the whole school would probably know about your home situation destroyed you.

You didn’t know where you were going but you didn’t care, you walked out of your schools gates and kept walking,

You believed school was better than home but after today you weren’t sure. You just knew Abigail would spread rumors around and that made you nauseous, you found a trash can and threw up

You began crying and you just wanted everything to stop. You wanted everyone to stop hurting you.

As you were walking, you lost track of time and the rain had long stopped but you didn’t even realize until you saw a text from someone,

Unknown: I left school early. Can you come to my house for the project now? I have something to do later,

It clicked to me fast who this was so I replied and then went to save his contact since this was the first time he texted me after I gave him my number 2 weeks ago.

Y/n: sure send me the address.

He sent it to me and I begin to make my way home to change into dry clothes since my dad wouldn’t be home,

After I took a shower and changed I got another text from Eren,

Eren: you’re taking forever, do you want me to come get you?

I sighed at him rushing me but I knew I would be long and didn’t tell him so I couldn’t be upset, and also my moms car had also broken down on me so I knew I would have to walk which would take even longer, so I decided to take him up on his offer and just sent him my address

A few minutes later he showed up and I got in the car,

It was still raining a bit but not too much, “we aren’t going to my house” he randomly blurted. “I changed my mind. I think it would be beneficial for the assignment if we stopped the planned meet ups since all we ever do is stare at each other. Instead we should just do things we each like doing and maybe we’ll learn a bit more about one another?” He said actually making sense,

“That’s a really good idea” I said shifting in my seat, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable being in such a closed space alone with him right now, “so where are we going?”

“Just the park to smoke with my friends and some randoms” . His plans didn’t really sit well with me after what happened today. I didn't want to be around people and it was obvious that I was uncomfortable, my face said it all.

He looked over to me and scoffed, “Listen I don’t want to hang out with you either but my friends wanted to hangout now and because I actually care about my grades I was able to put together a pretty good solution on how to compromise.”

“C-can you please just take me home? I can’t do this right now we can just reschedule” my voice started cracking and that seemed to only annoy him,

“We are already here” he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt

-

When we met up with his group I was at least relieved to see Armin, He gave me a smile as we waited for everyone else,

I also saw Historia and she sent me a look of disgust but it didn’t bother me since that’s all she ever did,

Connie pulled up in his car with Sasha, Jean and Marco.

I quickly went next to Armin hoping I could just stay beside him the whole time since I wouldn’t have to worry about being uncomfortable,

I noticed Connie and Sasha looking at me as they got out the car and I got a bit nervous because of the way they seen me earlier but they didn’t bring it up and neither did I,

“Did Eren make you come?” Armin suddenly asked me and I nodded, “I told him not to. After today I didn’t think you had enough social battery to be around people” he said concerned,

“You’re really good at reading people, Armin” I sent him a tiny smile.

“Y’all are so cute. I’m kinda shipping this” Eren came over to us with a blunt in his hand. He lit it in front of us and took a hit. “You want some?” He looked at me and I shook my head telling him I didn’t,

Armin and I were used to him saying stuff like this and lately I’ve been training myself not to be such a crybaby over small remarks like that.

Historia walked over to us to be with Eren and I could tell she was going to say something rude, “what are yall talking about?” She asked Eren glaring at me,

“I was just saying how I ship y/n and Armin aren’t they cute” he took another hit,

“Well I think Armin could’ve done better” she said looking me up and down making me self conscious,

“I said the same but it’ll grown on you” Eren chuckled,

Armin noticed I was letting Historia get to me and held my hand rubbing it gently. Not even caring that he was only adding to the dating allegations, “do you want to go sit on the swings?” Armin asked me and I nodded. We walked over to them and sat down.

“I’m sorry for touching your hand. It’s just I noticed that you were getting overwhelmed and that’s what Annie does for you,” he said smiling at me,

I smiled back, “how do you know that?”

“I see her do it all the time when someone says something negative to you, although I think it’s more for her to calm herself down I noticed it helped you as well”

“Wow, Armin. I never met someone who was so aware” you chuckled.

“Thanks y/n. You can let me know when you want to leave. I can walk you home!”

“Thank you! But I’ll just go home with Eren, I’m here to observe his behavior after all!”

Suddenly a ball hit Armin in the face knocking him off the swing, “ARMINN”

Reiner walked over and helped me help him up, “sorry man”

“It’s okay” Armin rubbed his nose and eye,

I didn’t know Eren was behind me until I heard laughter, “Reiner, how did your dumbass manage to get the ball near Armin if you were supposed to be throwing the opposite direction? I bet you were trying to impress y/n”

Reiner looked embarrassed and I was a bit mad, “don’t hurt your friend trying to impress me. Come on Armin let’s walk to the store and get you a cold water bottle” I said taking Armins hand that wasn’t on his face and walking off,

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Reiner whispered in defeat as he set on the swing, “why doesn’t she like me Eren?” Eren sat next to him in the other swing, “well let’s see, you’re friends with me, you’re way too horny and way too cocky. A girl like y/n doesn’t want to hear that her ass looks good 24/7 because she’ll end up thinking that’s all you care about, maybe if you gave her a genuine compliment that had something to do with the neck and up or just her personality she’d like you more,

“Wow” Reiner looked up from the ground and looked at Eren, “That advice was actually good, where did you get that from?”

“It’s some shit zeke told me that I’ll never use, he likes those types of girls, so it should work for you,”

“Thanks, I’ll use it,”

-

Heyy I know I’m not good at updating but I missed y’all, yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of finding Attack on titan, I like that it’s a direct month after my bday, the exact day as Getos birthday and an exact week from falco and Mikasa’s ❤️ anyways I love y’all byee

For my tumblr babes should I make an official tag list for this story?

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

Let’s talk about 16th century Italian theatre.

No wait come back I promise this is actually related to Sanders Sides

So, last night I was talking with some friends about an AU I’m currently working on. I’ve been away from the Sanders Sides fandom for a good while now, but recently my hyperfixation reactivated and now my brain is so ready to write a ridiculously long longfic with a convoluted premise and horrifying implications. (I’m like 25k in. Having the time of my life. No doubt I’ll talk about it more later. This isn’t about that.)

Since I’m not the sort of person who usually writes AUs - I prefer to stick to canonverse, and canonverse-adjacent fics - I eventually brought up how worried I always am about characterization of the Sides in AUs. Because although I do adore an AU; I devour Love and Other Fairytales like candy and think about Lavender For Luck all the time and don’t even get me started on WIBAR, when it comes to my own writing, I secondguess myself a lot. I don’t like to stray too far from canon concepts and characterization. I get worried when I don’t draw enough connections to things that happen in the series, because it feels like a betrayal of the source material - if I change a character dynamic from how it’s usually portrayed, I spend entirely too long thinking about how to make it work. 

And someone else said, well, I don’t usually worry about that sort of thing very much anymore. 

And I said, why not?

And they said, well, I haven’t watched the actual show for ages. I mainly treat the Sides as stock characters for the stories I write, and my brain fucking exploded.

...Exploded in a good way. I have to stress this so, so hard. My personal opinions on writing characterization and AUs apply just to my writing. I judge my own work entirely too harshly and work too hard at Getting Characterization right, and that doesn’t apply to other people’s work or AUs at all, I enjoy them all without a problem. This meta isn’t about OOC being a bad thing, or AUs that are completely removed from their source material being a bad thing, because they aren’t, not at all, they’re a form of creative expression just like any fanwork. And if someone starts getting on your case about that sort of thing, just... just block them.

Anyway, where was I. Exploding brain? Ah yes.

So a few other people chimed into the conversation at this point, agreeing that in a lot of cases, the Sides for them were stock characters with fun names, established personalities and tropes to play around with, and part of the fun for them at this point came less from interaction with canon and more about interactions with friends and fellow writers. Which is very different to how I do things.  I was fascinated, and my brain had one big delighted thought, oh shit! You’re treating the Sides like Commedia Dell’arte characters! I get it now!

(Disclaimer: I haven’t done drama or theatre for a good while now. If I make a factual mistake, either patiently bear with me or gently correct me.)

Commedia Dell’arte was a form of Italian improv theatre that was first popular in the 16-18th centuries through Europe, and didn’t have any proper established plots or scripts. The actors were almost never the same from performance to performacne, the comedy was over-the-top and often satirical and absurd in its physicality, it focused on plots about romance and jealousy and love.  Emphasis on an ensemble cast. Very stylized, very distinctive. Here’s one beng performed in Venice, for the Vibes.

[image description: a photo shot of two masked people in period costume conversing on a small wooden stage, taken over the heads of a crowd in Venice.]

The key, the thing that ties all Commedia Dell’arte together? The stock characters. There’s a list of all of these character archetypes, all with specific names and associated masks assigned to them, and when you’re performing this sort of theatre, all the actors pick one of the archetypes and put on a mask and work out what the situation is, and bam, you’re on the stage and off to the races. You’ve got the servant of two masters, the stuttering statesmen, the Sad Clown (relatable), the utterly obsessed lovers who won’t stop making doe eyes at each other on stage from behind those masks of theirs. 

Pretty freaky-looking masks, admittedly. Look at that nose on Naso Turco, the sly servant!

[image description: eight blue-and-black stylized Commedia Dell’arte masks, all labelled with their roles]

And the thing is, audiences would recognize these archetypes upon seeing them - it wasn’t so much about having characters that were perfectly ported from one story to another, like you might have in adaptations of fairy tales, it’s more about the archetypes. The personalities. Their status, and the way they interact with one another. Apparently all of the original cast of stock characters (you can find a list of them on Wikipedia, or maybe elsewhere) were "originally intended as a kind of characteristic representative of some particular Italian district or town." They’re representations of archetypes. You might even say that they’re conceptual representations. 

Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s not hard to see where I’m going with this.

In Commedia, stock characters are almost never played by the same actors because the cast is always different, and might be an entirely different theatre troupe - so the way of recognizing certain archetypes is by their clothing style, or other symbolic context clues. 

And that’s exactly how you recognize the Sides in fanworks when the AU is too far divorced from canon to understand them otherwise. If you’ve changed their ethnicity, or genderbent them, or given then a different species, you look for the context clues because at this point you’ve learned to read them like a language. 

If it’s just fanart, or the names haven’t been brought up yet, how do you tell it’s Roman? Well, Roman’s costume is pretty distinctive, even when modified - and failing that, even if he’s just in jeans and a t-shirt, or even if he’s an indistinct jello-y blob floating in the distant reaches of space - he’s going to be the red blob. They’re color-coded for our convinience. Virgil’s stormclouds and spiders, Janus has his snakes and almost always has something going on with one side of his face. 

Do you find this delightful? I hope you do. Because I do. I find it really, really delightful, and I’d never put conscious thought into this before last night. The Sides aren’t quite as flat and archetypal as the colorful cast of Commedia Dell’arte - they’re more fleshed out, for one thing, and even if writers don’t always pull on it, there’s canon backstory and plotlines to draw from. But they’re still archetypes, deliberately so in the context of canon. Someone in the server I was discussing this in summed it up really nicely - [..] we have Roman the artist, we have Janus for all the drama and deception, we have clever Logan to represent the science spirit. We have Patton for the morale lessons. We have Virgil for the memento mori style, and we have Remus for all the gore and dark comedic relief. 

Which is such a great updating of all of the classic theatrical archetypes. Because (although Italian improv theatre is still performed! People still use these old roles and costumes, but it’s definitely more historical than modern) the idea of servants and masters and cunning peasants and all the complicated dynamics between these roles, well... it isn’t super relevant to modern storytelling. When Commedia Dell’arte is performed nowadays, it’s almost never hashtag-relatable in the way it used to be. You know what’s more relatable? Archetypes of the nerd who doesn’t acknowledge his emotions, the grumpy loner with a heart of gold, the theatre kid who won’t stop singing. You can take those and all of the rest and shove them into all manner of situations, and you can make some really cool stories out of that. 

(National Theatre has a really nice video breaking down this theatre form a lot better than I can, with details I didn’t include here. Check it out here if you’re interested. It also includes details about the various archetypes’ physicalities and movements, which I think is kind of interesting, because in canon Sanders Sides the character’s physicalities are terrifyingly recognizable. That’s not really relevant to the idea of AU Improv Theatre, though, so I won’t poke any further at that thought. ANYWAY.)

I’ll level with you: some of the things people write in this fandom, I just don’t vibe with and I don’t get, and I’m okay with that. It’s the maxim of Mind Your Own Business, I just don’t interact and I keep on moving in my own lane. But, like... maybe I don’t need to get it. I’m pretty sure there were people in 1600s Europe who showed up to a Commedia Dell’arte performance and went ‘no, this one isn’t for me, did you see how they absolutely butchered the characterization of the Innamorati? Disgraceful’. But for many other people, maybe that particular performance just hit the spot, because they’d always wanted to see an interpretation just like that, that diverged from the norm just a little bit. And even if nobody in the audience at all liked it, maybe the performers were having enough of a blast that it more than made up for it.

And if not any of that - well, there’s always the next show!

[image description: four masked Commedia Dell’arte performers crowded around a prop cafe table, exclaiming dramatically over a menu that they’re all bent over.]

I don’t know if my brain will ever be chill enough to let me write something completely separated from canon. (Although... now that I’m typing that, I recognize that the chessboxing AU is not so much separated from canon as a tragic widower of a dinosaur-related apocalyptic divorce. Okay. Nevermind. Still, you probably get where I’m coming from.) And I’m probably not going to stop treating characterization like I’m going to be sentenced by a vicious panel of judges to a cruel and untimely death if I get the slightest bit of it wrong, but... I don’t know. The realization that it’s all comes back to this makes me happy, somehow. Just generally joyful about the state of the fandom, and the things that people create, and the community that’s been built up around it. 

Commedia is all about exploring stuff in improv like love and romance and dynamics, and isn't that exactly what we're doing as writers? Throwing character archetypes together and making them kiss and talk to see what will happen? It's not really improv, but it's not like we have any stage to act on except the AO3 posting page.

We didn't set out to make the characters from a web series into stock archetypes that so many people pick up and play with to Work Out Our Issues With. (Writing is free therapy. We all knew that already.) That was definitely not the original intention of Sanders Sides - or any similar fandom, actually. (I know TSS isn’t the only one this happens in, not even close.)

But, hey, we're humans, and it always comes back to us wanting to play. And there's nothing new under the sun, not really. Of course given an infinite internet sandbox and a goofy web series about some guy’s identity crisis, we would accidentally reinvent the original Italian comedy theatre. That’s kind of brilliant. 

You know what, I think 16th century Italians would enjoy Sanders Sides AUs a lot. I bet they’d make some pretty banger masks for the boys to wear. 

God, I wish I had a time machine.

[skysglcw]

I’ve been playing Ennio Morricone’s instrumental music “Playing Love” while I’m imagining writing a chapter fic of Blanche and Dorothy as young ladies (essentially in their 20s) where Dorothy is a young lady married to Stan (they don’t have kids yet) and she meets Blanche (who is accompanied by another man) on a cruise ship and instantly falls in love with her. They make a few eye contacts in the crowd but have low chances of approaching each other because of many people accompanying them on the ship.

Anyway, one silent but peaceful night, Dorothy decides to get some fresh air on the top floor since she couldn’t sleep because of Stan’s hideous snoring. She gets to the top floor with barely any people around, but there she sees a woman standing by the railing, glancing at the blue horizon. Dorothy approached her, and it was the woman she had secretly fallen in love with and been wanting to talk to. They have a conversation, and surprisingly, they have a lot in common. Out of the blue, Blanche confesses her feelings first, then Dorothy next. It was love at first sight, they say.

Then the next couple of nights, they always meet up at their usual spot to steal kisses from each other, creating this forbidden love affair between them. They knew they were being unfaithful to their partners, sure they were gentlemen, but they admitted they both never felt happy or at peace with their relationships. They both weren’t expecting to be so in love with one another, especially with a woman, and they knew that this should be kept hidden from the world.

The last evening supper before the arrival of the ship to their destination, Blanche and Dorothy separately excuse themselves and secretly go to their usual spot for the last time. They cried and made a promise to each other to meet again and somehow find their way back to each other. They both slowly danced to the instrumental music that the musicians were playing in the background, which is the song that I mentioned from the beginning. That was the last time they ever saw each other again.

4 decades later, Dorothy, divorced, and with her mother, searched for a shared accommodation and found an advertisement paper that was looking for roommates under the name of a familiar name. Blanche Devereaux. She couldn't believe it. She waited for 4 whole decades to meet the love of her life. And it was finally happening. The day Dorothy set her eyes on Blanche’s ocean-blue eyes after Blanche opened the door, Dorothy immediately embraced her with such a bright face. Blanche, not acting thrilled, pushed her back. Dorothy’s heart jumped. She mumbled Blanche’s name as her brows furrowed in confusion. Blanche asked if they had met before, and Dorothy said yes, her excitement wearing off. Blanche says she doesn't remember anything about her, nor the name Dorothy. She only knows the fact that Dorothy will be her new roommate. Blanche, it’s me… Dorothy only managed to speak out. Blanche still didn’t get a clue, and Dorothy couldn’t help but cry.

Despite Blanche’s confusion, she felt bad and still welcomed her new roommate in, unaware of how important this day would be for the two of them if only Blanche remembered. They have a conversation in the living room just like decades ago and turns out that Blanche is suffering from brain injury which caused memory loss. Luckily, she managed to remember her parents and siblings after months of them helping Blanche get her memory back. How it happened was she got into a car accident while fighting with her boyfriend who she caught cheating on her with another woman at a bar. Unfortunately, their fight not only involved verbal abuse but also physical abuse to the point where it got out of hand and the car collided with a tree. Dorothy couldn't believe what she was hearing and she wanted to hug Blanche so bad, but kept her boundaries after finding out about her situation. Dorothy thought, there surely is one memory she hasn't remembered yet. Me. Our love that we once had before.

Since she now lives with Blanche, she will do anything in her power to bring back the love they created long ago. (I just realized how long this is going, so I’ll try to make it short and finish this planner 😂). They go through the journey of a slow burn, and Dorothy convinces Blanche of the memories they once had together. Blanche finds herself falling for Dorothy for the gestures she thought only men could do for her, but there is something about Dorothy that makes those gestures special. Near the end of the story, Dorothy suggests a cruise ship vacation just only for the two of them, hoping this would finally make Blanche remember. Blanche happily accepts. Blanche also suggested that they act like couples, just as Dorothy told her what their love story on the cruise ship was like hoping this would help bring back her memories.

They didn't get on the same cruise ship like last time, but it was similar enough to the old one. One familiar evening, Dorothy offers Blanche to dance with her as she asked the new but nostalgic musicians to play Ennio Morricone’s “Playing Love” piece for her and her partner. They gladly accepted and Blanche cried in her shoulders as they danced slowly when the memories came flooding in her mind, as if it was a time-relapse, observing the familiar music in the background. They share a sweet, tender, passionate kiss as the ocean waves assorted with the music.

(If there are any errors, I apologize. I’m too lazy to go back and read the whole thing lmao 😭 give me a break, it’s only 4 in the morning jshjdhkshd)

[cafecourage]

I have been thinking about haikyuu a lot recently and their dynamic in the team compared to how I think the Chain interacts. Please if anyone wants to add on or add their thoughts, even if you haven’t watch the show, it’s always fun to discuss these things! :D

TL DR: Let me tell you about how I think the Chain’s dynamic and reference one of my favorite animes. It’s a lot underneath have fun understanding my tired brain.

Lets start with Time, automatically I am going to say he is the foundation of the chain. Time is the guy that all the boys rely on. Time isn’t flashy, he isn’t the strongest, but he is solid. If Time is out then things start to crumple a bit. Not because there is lower power but like I have been saying Time is reliable. Also I think it’s funny if someone drew Time as Daichi in this scene.

I still laugh at this panel with hindsight. But I genuinely want this.

Warriors is a tactician, he is a setter in the team. I feel like Warriors is the type of person that while he is a strategic and thorough person. He is completely able to vibe with anyone given he has enough time to be with them. This man thinks even in the middle of battle. Yes, while he is an Suga type he also gives me Akaashi or Kenma vibes.

Twilight is an Ace. He is the strongest physically and the most heavy hitter of the group. He is there to do crowd control and break down barriers. He is the tank. I don’t think there is more to be said. If people want someone to be the muscle it’s Twilight. I don’t know who to compare him to tho, he ain’t an Asahi type.

The person that is both a defensive and offensive person is Legend. He is definitely a middle blocker, but the reason I think he can swap at the drop of a hat, is because the amount of stuff he has. He can quickly look at a situation and go “I got something for this” and pull out a magic weapon that will help.

Another person that is a swap is Wild. I think he is like Johzenji the party team. In the way that he is unrefined and easily able to adapt to his surroundings and other people around him. Wild is holding back probably most of the time since he is so used to being alone. That doesn’t mean his attacks are worse, it just means he can be anything, anywhere at anytime in a battle.

Four and Wind are both more defensive fighters. They are both small and had to figure out how to fight people five times their size. Four is obvious he is the Libero of this weird volleyball metaphor. He really is the safety net, he is on the look out to see who need the most help. Because let’s be real in video games normally the smallest enemies are the most annoying ones to fight. Wealthier or not that is true irl I will just say Four will probably make it so. I can see Four mostly helping the heavy hitters to make sure they aren’t blind sided. But he is also probably zooming around the battle field to see who needs the extra hands. I’ve been comparing the boys to people so I guess Noya in this case or Yaku.

Wind, though, is defensive in the same sense of Hinata, where he is the ultimate decoy. Wind needs to be more aggressive in fast and quick succession. He is probably the most chaotic attacker because of it. Yeah, he has training but he is also trained in pirate. There isn’t much to say other than Wind is probably adjusting to more traditional fighting. I mean this boy is probably more similar to Wild in attack style but with the slight formal training. Even then he was trained by an old man in his isolated island village.

Hyrule is a glass cannon. Yes thats because of the blood thing. However, even with that I think Magical wise Hyrule is the most powerful as he doesn’t need items to do his spells. But also his attacks can get out of hand really fast. But he has been using them for a long time and as we saw he can control it pretty good. Ironically the first time I drew Hyrule I gave him freckles because he reminded me of Yamaguchi so if im bias i am bias.

Sky as much as I love him, I don’t know where he would place. Even though he is what started this whole things. Like it’s something to be sad that he killed god, but i don’t think he is necessarily fighting on the offense. Sky is the moral and emotional support, just like Tanaka is to Karasuno. This means more after battle wise where he doesn’t show emotional weakness if something went wrong. Even durring battle he isn’t getting pissed off or outwardly stressed. I suppose he is like time as well where Sky is reliable. But if Sky is taken out it’s more mentally panic as the person that keeps everyone positive is down and is hurt.

Anyway I am going to go watch the stage play again because i miss the music.

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Cassian Andor X Reader: Hold me even if your hands are bloody.

Summary: You find yourself in a tricky situation and Cassian comes to the rescue what he didn't expect is that you'd end up saving him too.

Warnings: sleazy men, harassment(nothing to intense), fighting, death.

The first kill was always the hardest. People don’t expect it to be difficult to take a life. Just shoot your blaster and go on with your day. But that's not how it works. The killing itself isn't hard, it's what comes after that is. The feeling that settles in your gut after you realize what you’d done.

That is what drives people mad.

Cassian remembered his first kill, the feeling of despair that had washed over him before he took the shot and the regret that had come shortly after realizing what he’d done. He knew that if he hadn’t done it he wouldn’t have survived but it had gnawed away at his mind for a while. As time passed it became easy for him. The world had made it clear that in certain moments it was going to be him or them. And Cassian would always make sure he came out alive. No matter what it took. 

You were new to this life. You were used to keeping your head down, accepting being tossed around by the empire because it allowed you to survive. You knew how to work a blaster but you’d never been given a reason to use one. You didn’t even have one in your possession. The galaxy was full of assholes but if you kept out of their way they normally didn’t notice your existence. 

Normally. 

That being said, the occasion that had led you to meet Cassian was considered out of normal. You worked at a pug in the leisure zone of a shitty town in the middle of nowhere. You were used to sleazy costumeres trying to get their hands on the people that worked in the more “private” areas of the pub but since you just handled the drinks you hadn’t had to deal with anyone unpleasant. 

And then one day it happened. 

It started off as flirty comments made in your direction. Stupid smiles and bulging eyes that ran down you body as they requested their drinks. You didn’t pay attention to them. You needed this job and you weren’t about to risk it because of a group of douchebags. Plus you could handle comments. The problem arose when they started to try and get more physical with you. You’d just poured one of the group's men his third drink of the evening, placing it carefully on the counter in front of him. Before you could move your hand away he had grabbed your arm, dragging you closer to him. 

“How much for a pretty thing such as yourself?”

His breath reeked of alcohol which made you think this wasn’t the first place they’d stopped for a drink.

“Get your hands off me.”

“Feisty thing. Lucky for you that's just how I like them.”

“I said get your hands off me.”

You tried to tug your arm out of his grip to no avail. Your eyes searched the crowd for someone to help. Unlucky for you it seemed all the guards were posted in the private lounge for the evening. You were going to have to handle this alone. Or so you thought.

“Didn't you hear her? She said, Let go.”

You hadn’t seen him come over but now that he was near you his presence couldn’t be ignored. It was his first time at the pub but not his first time in a fight you could tell because of the way he stood. He wasn’t strong with bulging muscles but the way he spoke, soft but stern, made him intimidating.

“Don’t think I was talking to you.”

“You weren’t but clearly there’s something wrong with your hearing. I think she’s made it clear she doesn't want anything to do with you. So I'm going to ask you one more time. Let go.”

“Oh yeah or what?”

Your eyes trailed down to where your saviours hand rested. There was a blaster at his hip, something you were almost certain wasn’t allowed in the establishment. The thug holding onto your arm glanced at Cassian and let out a bellowing laugh.

“Oh so you think you're tough huh?”

“No. I know I am.”

Cassian smiled as he said the phrase causing the other man to become even angrier.

“So what is it going to be?”

Tha man looked down at you for a moment before letting go of your arm. He gave Cassian a look as he called the rest of his men and exited the pub. You let out a breath of relief as they went. 

“You okay?”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“You’d rather let them keep messing with you?”

“Of course not but you just made yourself a target.”

Cassian let out a laugh before taking a sip of his drink and smiling at you.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m used to it.”

“Well that’s comforting.”

“How much do I owe you?”

You glanced at his tab. He'd only had one drink since he’d arrived.

“You know what, it’s on the house. My way of saying thank you.”

“I appreciate it but that’s not why I intervened.”

“Yeah I know but still thank you… I didn't catch your name.” “It’s Cassian.”

“Thank you, Cassian.”

Cassian gave you a nod as he placed his empty cup and started to leave. You watched him go wondering if you’d ever see him again. You didn’t much care about the customers you served but something about Cassian intrigued you.

Once your shift ended you started making your way home, weaving through the dark alleys that made up your town. You felt a prickle on your neck causing you to turn around. There was nothing but darkness, still something felt off. You walked faster trying to get somewhere with more light as soon as possible. Just as you were about to turn a corner you heard a grunt followed by the sound of a blow landing on someone's stomach. You held your breath. You should call someone and ask for help. Who were you kidding? This town was no man’s land even the officers around here were shady. You moved towards the sounds, careful to not make any noise. The voices were getting clearer allowing you to recognize them as the guys from the pug. Which could only mean one thing. Your suspicions were confirmed when you turned a corner and got a clear view of the situation. There were four of them surrounding a beat and bruised individual.

“Cassian.”

It came out as a whisper without you even realising it. Your eyes fell onto your saviour, watching the blood that oozed from his nose. Cowards. Rage bubbled inside your body. An anger you’d kept stored inside yourself for the longest time seemed to spill out at that moment. You saw Cassian's blaster on the ground a couple steps away from where you were. You took your chance, crouching down as low as you could and retrieving the weapon. Before you knew it you were standing behind the thug that had decided to mess with you, Cassian's blaster pointed at his head.

“Call them off.”

Your hands shook as you spoke but the words came out so clear that it surprised you.

“Well ain’t this a turn of events.”

“I said call them off.” “Or what darling? You gonna shoot me?”

The man turned around so he could look at you. You toughened your gaze, pressing the blaster as hard as you could to his forehead. He gave you a grin, his missing teeth causing him to look more frightening. 

“I bet you don’t even know how to shoot. I think your just-”

You pulled the trigger stopping him mid sentence. You watched the life drain from his face before he fell to the ground. The rest of his buddys looked at you with shock. Your body was locked into place, frozen in fear of what you had done. You didn’t even notice Cassian rush up to you and pry the blaster from your hands.

“Get out of here, unless you want to end up like him.”

The men looked at Cassian for a moment.

“I said go! Now!”

This time the group seemed to get the message, running away from the two of you. Your eyes were still glued to the body in front of you. Cassian called out your name, shaking you out of your daze.

“We have to go.”

“I killed him.”

“It was self defence. You can’t stay here, come on.”

You let Cassian drag you to his ship. You’d always dreamt of leaving this planet but this wasn’t how you had expected it. Still you didn’t put up a fight when Cassian closed the ship's door and set the trajectory to Ferrix. You stayed quiet the whole flight letting Cassian do whatever he needed. Once you’d landed safely on Ferrix Cassian came out of the pilot area and made his way to you. He watched you for a while before calling your name so you’d look at him. You pried your eyes away from the metal hull of this ship you were staring at to glance over at Cassian. You expected him to look at you like some sort of abomination. Perhaps it would have been better if he had. Instead he looked at you like this was normal, like killing someone was just a part of life.

“It was self defence.” “You said that already.”

“I know. But you need to accept that. It gets easier. The first time is always difficult.

“First time? You mean you’ve killed people? Multiple people?”

“Yes my hands are covered in blood.”

“Do you… enjoy it?”

“Of course not. I'm not some empire scum if that's what you're afraid of. I kill when necessary and lately people have been rather insistante.”

“So you don’t think I'm a monster?”

Cassian made his way to you crouching down in front of your frame and placing his hands on top if yours.

“No, you're a survivor. Like me.”

You looked into his eyes. This was a man who lived a rough life. You could see the rage behind his gaze. A rage you were very familiar with.

“They would have killed me if it weren’t for you.”

“They were cowards. Four against one isn’t a fair fight.”

“There aren't many fair fights around here.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

“Listen, I can drop you off wherever you want. I just need to grab some stuff first.”

You thought for a moment. You’d been alone for so long. Always scraping to stay alive another day, it would be nice to have someone around for a change.

“What if I stayed with you?

Cassian raised his eyebrows at you.

“If that’s not too invasive I mean.”

“It’s not. But my life isn’t easy. You’d have to get used to running.”

He didn’t say it but you understood the words hidden in between the lines. You’d have to get used to running… and killing. You body shuddered at the thought but you nodded to Cassian in approval. 

From then on the two of you became a team. Cassian taught you to fight and you showed him that life was worth living. Your hands got more stained with blood the longer the two of you survived and once you joined the rebellion the bodies seemed to pile up faster and faster. Cassian was right though, it got easier over time. At least now the blood you spilled was for a greater good. It was odd that despite everything the two of you had gone through you’d ended up creating a deep bond. You’d watch Cassian leave for his missions, always worried that he might not return and every time he did you’d shower him with your love. The galaxy was a messy place full of corruption, death and dirt but somehow you found something to live for. And you knew that no matter how red your hands got Cassian would always love you. And you’d always be waiting for him with open arms.

[gold-rhine]

hiii!! i wanted to start by saying that i LOVE with a passion your writing and fics, literally changed my life ong i dont know if you're currently taking requests or writing for lyney (or any fontaine characters for that matter) but i theres this idea that has been taking over my brain with lyney and him as a sub. (that said, feel free to ignore this if you aren't as familiar with his character and don't feel comfortable enough writing him)

just bear with me here for a second, so we all know that lyney is overprotective with his siblings and presents himself as a reliable person and hides behind his charming and onstage persona (i LOVE the fortress of meropide act where we can actually see farther into his character other than "flirty and charming magician" i also liked how lyney acted after his trial when he and lynette were talking w the traveler as an honorable mention)

then, we can see two versions of him, the version that is "lyney the magician", who was a way with words and is very skilled at deceiving people, flirty and suave he redirects a crowd's attention to focus only on the part (of himself) that he wants people to see. on the other side, we have a more "true" lyney, who is always protective for his siblings in fear that they are taken away from him again, he's impulsive but also genuine. a lyney that sometimes questions himself who he really is, after all of the masks and acts he has taken (character story 4), and also a lyney that wants to protect the home that arlecchino had given him and lynette when they were at their worst. (tbh him without his stage persona really comes off to me as "Im Trying ™")

(all seriousness aside, and this is just a headcanon, i could 100% see lyney in love in his room kicking his feet giddily and pacing around the room thinking of ways to romance his crush, just to go out and act all cool and suave like he wasnt just losing his shit for the last 2 hours) (or maybe im just projecting) (we will never know)

so, how does this play into flith?

imagine lyney having his first time w reader, he's not completely clueless because well, he's obviously an adult (and also this is lyney we're talking about. just look at his design.) i picture lyney overall (not just in sex) really good with theory, but when it comes to practice, he just falls apart.

another thing i also think would be at play is him learning to let go of his mask, of his responsibilities and just relax, let his brain turn into mush and his legs into jelly and let himself be fully naked (both physically and emotionally) in front of someone. how much he trusts his partner also is smth to be taken into account. i dont really see him as a one night stand type of guy.

then, i also think that his trauma with lynette's situation would also show, even though he isn't overly clingy with lynette, he always wants to be by her side, not only because theyre REALLY close but also because he subconsciously he wants to make sure that shes okay. (he even thought about getting a delusion so that they could be together on missions, and even when arle denied him he still tried to get better) i think that this subconscious need for feeling his loved one's presence (to put it in some kind of way) as if they would slip away the first moment he wasnt looking would manifest in the form of him being into handholding, or just overall keeping his hands on his partner, especially when he closes his eyes.

the last thing that i would like to mention is him w a praise kink, which i think would stem from his upbringing in the house of the hearth at least at mostly if not at all, due to searching for arlecchino's approval as a parental figure (setting aside the OBVIOUS father title, whether she intended or not she is the only parental figure the fontaine siblings have, and they do treat her as such, it would be normal for them to seek approval. however since we're talking about a harbinger, idk if that approval was met much, so yeah.) (however these are all assumptions based on how we can think life at the house of the hearth was for the sillies, i have only read lyney's voicelines and character stories and i am too lazy to read lynette's or freminet's, however i do think i am close enough)

LAST THING I SWEAR, with the whole "lynette has cat features and lyney having cat traits" thing. imagine,, lyney hiding his head in the crook of his partner's neck purring when hes too overstimulated... i am on my knees. 🧎

wow. that was a lot. sorry if i made this too long !! i wanted to request smut and ended up making a half assed lyney character study 😭😭 i hope i didn't bore you to death with my ranting, anyways even if you dont feel like writing, i would love to hear your thoughts about this. i love lyney's character with all my heart and i find that he is very fun to think about and explore his trauma character. i sincerely hope that you could find it in yourself to ignore my horrible phrasing skills and yeah.., i dont do requests often but i am desperate for sub lyney content and you have one of the most beautiful writing i have encountered in tumblr smut fics LMAO (if you do decide to write it, dom gn reader please and thank you)

love, lyney obsessed anon <3

oh my god, i didnt even know you can send so much text on anon asdfghjk.

anyway, lyney is not one of my absolute favs so i don't have a phd on him, so im not claiming all my opinions are corrrect, but i do like him a lot, i think he's v cute. i mostly agree with all of your points. what i would say, is that while ofc he has his stage persona, he really does love performance, its clear from his story quest. he enjoys attention, he likes impressing ppl, this is still part of his "real" self. like yes, he is very flustered when he has a crush and he will spend hours pacing around the room giddily and planning what he will do and then play suave, but he also really enjoys pulling it off, doing something special and impressive for his crush and then being admired and praised for it even if - especially if - he was actually nervious the whole time, bc thats part of the thrill, the high stakes!

if i were to write him, i think i'd do like. exhibitionism with a bit of pet play, bc i think he would want to do a show that he would rehearse for hours, and it would actually be pretty hot, but its too ambitious and some things you can't pre-plan without practice, so he *would* fumble things and be flustered, and on this edge of really charismatic and clumsily vulnerable is where his real charm lies.

anyway, i can't promise i'll write him, i assume you don't follow me since you said you don't know what i think of fontaine characters, but if i do, it will be in sub lyney tag so you won't miss it:)