#because then i cant focus fully on one piece

[g-u-m-m-y-s-h-a-r-k]

i hate having multiple interests at the same time because like do i watch crime videos while playing totk or do i watch one piece or do i draw or do i do none of that !!!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

HI ITS ME gvxzggsgjfh ok look this is. i know this is a weird one it is SO specific and so obviously something i should just write myself if i want it👏but👏but👏BUT i decided to shoot my shot when a perfect chance has arisenderised for you to pick and choose from anything you like AND in any form, and to see if this one maybe by any chance just so happens to spark anything fun in u too xD

ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo RANDOM EVENT ROLL D20 mc gets bitten by a werewoof or some other kind of "contagious" monster species (....cant really think of anything else other than vampirs, now that i say it) but WAIT THERES MORE because. what if mc insisted that they dont want any potential existent cures, they just wanna stay monstery >:3 JVDTHGLN who's considering it, who would absolutely go in the "its either me or this" direction, who's enthusiastic🤣 this is silly as hell but in the case it sparks joy id love to hear ur any and all thoughts because this idea has been haunting me for forever lmao honestly the best way ive imagined it is like one of your own selfinsert pieces youve posted before where its just all of them together bickering heeheehee💘💕🩷💞💖

love u have fun!!

The Arcana Drabble: MC transforms into a "monster"

In the spirit of things, I though a long drabble/short oneshot would work best to keep the madness going XD

Asra's getting stuck in their "one focus and one focus only" mode and right now that focus is making sure you're okay. He'll decide how he feels later, which isn't being helped at all because Julian keeps calling on him to help him slow down the process and get you to think about this a little more. However, it's hard to tell what exactly Julian wants your decision to be because in between him trying to get Asra to make you think about it some more, he's having all kinds of medical epiphanies about how your anatomy is adjusting to the new monster form:

"MC, let's think about some more, shall we? I'm sure Asra agrees with me - don't you, Asra? Asr - oh, whats this?! Your finger's joints are rapidly adjusting to accommodate for - I need a pen and paper -"

"Right here, Ilya." It's Portia's dismissive tone as she digs a small notebook and pencil out of her pocket that keeps you grounded. Not for long, though, because she can't wait to see what happens next. "Accommodate for what, anyways? Are you growing another joint?? Are you going to get claws??? Talons???? Show me!"

Between Julian jotting down unintelligible notes while he studies your elbow's range of motion, Portia's excited exclamations, and Asra's attempt at soothing touch as they rub your shoulders and ask how you're feeling, it's a miracle you can notice Muriel's quiet mumble in the background. He's clearly overwhelmed and very concerned that the physically-altering substance in general got to your brain first, making you so seemingly okay with turning into a monster.

"MC, do you remember your name? Do you need to take a nap? You don't have to be okay with this -"

"I believe this may warrant far more than a nap to recover from." Nadia's doing her best to keep Lucio calm, holding him back from tackling you much like she might grasp a leash. You can practically see the headache building behind her eyes. "We have yet to determine what the extent of this transformation is and therefore whether our dear MC is even capable of fully agreeing to the current process. MC, darling, did the source of this transformation give you any indication of what the end result would be?"

You'd try to respond, but Lucio's excited yelling is too noisy to shout over. He's fumbling at the fastenings on his cape, distracted by your ongoing changes, and very annoyed at Nadia's interference.

"Where did it go? I want to see if it can give me powers too - OW! Dammit, Noddy, I'm trying to help here! You're keeping me from finding the monster and getting it to give me cool - I mean, getting it to tell us more about what's happening! Don't you want that? Don't you want to help MC, Noddy?! Let me go -"

It's with a loud RIP and subsequent "that was velvet, you know!" that Lucio finally breaks free and sprints off in the direction of your new monster friend. You can feel yourself slowly settling in to your new form as the process shows signs of slowing and reaching completion.

Nadia's facepalming. Portia's looking at you with eyes shining in wonder. Julian's still trying to nag Asra into reversing this as he takes notes. The magician in question is still ignoring him as they ask you how you feel for the nth time. Muriel's eyeing the nearby closet in hopes of taking a nap and waking up to it all being a dream. Lucio's a distant, spiky golden speck at this point.

Faust is quietly trying to sneak her knife into your hand, for crimes.

[umbrvx]

i like ur art. its great and interesting!! i really like your artstyle and i really like the way u draw hsy, yjh, and kdj. you captured them so well in terms of vibes/character. also i was wondering do u have any advice to improve on drawing anatomy/poses/faces?

wahh thank you so much...!! i feel like im still trying to figure them out in a lot of ways but i do really like ironing out my visual interpretations of them so im really happy to hear if people like what im coming up with

also anon you super activated the part of my brain that cant help but yap about art theory... i spent some time writing as many tips as i could think of. unfortunately i dont think i have the time currently to do a fully illustrated guide, but ill still try to include some visual examples:

[incoming wall of text lol]

ANATOMY:

to preface i think that like 100% of the time you should reference a real life photo for anatomy rather than other artwork or drawn references. the best way to learn the body is by… well, actually looking at the body! but also artwork is informed by a person's own artistic ability/stylization choices/sense of idealism, so while looking at art can help give you an idea on how to break down forms, i think you would be best served observing real life references. i labor on this point because i do think that having over relied on drawn reference material and avoiding photographic references on the basis of not being interested on realism hindered me as a largely self-taught artist as a kid, so i want to encourage live or photographic reference since anatomy is one of the foundations from which everything else is built on. that being the case, all of my doodles i'm doing for this are going to be for the sake of example rather than to strictly say how you should or should not be drawing something

-> when you are doing a study of a photo, just try copying it as best as you can. pay close attention to the natural lines and shapes of the body -- the S-curve shape of the leg, the triangular shape of the forearm, the trapezoid shape of hips/thighs when they sit, and so on. note where the body folds or squishes or pulls; how mass will shift to accommodate a certain position. if a form is hard to visualize, focus on the negative space and carve that out, rather than strictly drawing the positive space.

don't expect to get it perfect the first time. in fact, iterate on it multiple times to build understanding. try doing it to a timer of 15, then 10, then 5 minutes. doing this will force you to have to prioritize the most important shapes. you can help reinforce this by using a thicker brush or a brush with no pen pressure (no joke ms paint works great for this) to force you to be loose and not become preoccupied with details.

-> pinterest is a great resource for finding and compiling photo reference material

-> organic shapes are curved, so embracing/emphasizing that (particularly for the extremities) can help make your drawings look more natural or fluid

POSES: -> it all begins & ends with contrapposto… you've probably heard of the line of action, which is related. if you're offsetting the shoulders & hips, it: makes poses more natural, more dynamic, and helps the pose sort of "draw itself" -- the legs will follow the direction of the hips, and you can use the arms to reinforce the angles

-> context is key. don't ask: what pose should i draw? instead ask: what do i want this character to convey? what does happiness, anger, sadness, and so forth look on this particular character? how do they express that? consider these drawings: these are both ostensibly the same pose, but look at how changing just the shape of the spine recontextualizes it.

for more on pose design i recommend watching Tracer & Pose Design 101 - The Animation of Overwatch by New Frame Plus (i promise this is a genuinely super informative video).

to expand on this, in general, all of the components of a piece (background, composition, pose, etc.) are best considered in conjunction rather than separately. it is difficult to choose a pose and then choose a background because they are missing the context that would make a piece cohesive. when you are planning a drawing, try to begin with your general concept/idea/prompt and then do several thumbnails -- small and quick doodles that should take no longer than 5 minutes each -- developing it: you may find that the pose and bg will naturally fall into place.

-> silhouette: the degree to which you need to push this varies by style but generally speaking the pose needs to be readable; i.e. instantly recognizable. try to keep important elements of the gesture outside of the silhouette. for example, if the character is pointing, keep that arm out of the interior of the body. the same pose can be more or less readable or dynamic depending on where the character is pointed in relation to the viewer

-> exaggeration!! goes along with the previous point. push the pose as much as you can (and what makes sense for your style) to communicate your pose as clearly and as intensely as possible.

FACES: -> i highly recommend the app Handy Art Reference Tool by Belief Engine for all things related to drawing hands/heads/feet. its on both android and ios. it isn't free -- it costs around $3 -- but that is seriously such a small price to pay for the amount of utility you get out of it: the hands models are fully poseable (there's also pose presets), you can rotate the head models however you want, and there is 3-point customizable lighting. it is really helpful for getting those super tricky and hyperspecific head angles that you just can't find a real life reference for. that being said given that there's only a few different head model variants, bear in mind how differences in features can affect what exactly a face will look like in those angles.

-> i still recommend doing studies of real people. as with anything else, learning generalized proportions is important, even if you are going to later on bend or break this depending on style

-> as for my own approach... it kind of depends on the style i'm doing at that particular time. for my paintings (what id consider my main style) i approach a character with a few real-world features in mind and then apply them to the best of my ability. it usually will take a few iterations to land on an interpretation i really like as i try out different things. a lot of the face also gets developed during rendering rather than through my initial sketch too, as i adjust for lighting and correct proportions on the fly

(look how much this image changes between sketch and render lol)

if i were to recommend anything, i think it would be to nail down your most distinct features first -- the ones that will make your character's face recognizable, and could apply regardless of art style. in my case with kim dokja, i knew when i first started drawing him that i wanted to give him a longer face and down-turned eyes. when i decided to do the disco elysium inspired set, in which i was breaking out of my comfort zone by letting go of any idealizations focusing on conveying characterization/making them feel "real", i landed on some more specific traits (defined lower lids/perpetually tired eyes/eyebags(?) the crease there idk how to describe it) which i continue to try to evoke even if im drawing something much more cartoony

(pictured are my first kdj -> disco elysium style -> my post de-style kdj)

as a side note, this very same process changed yjh much more dramatically

(^ that first guy is mad someone else)

those handful of key features will be the thing that you can then take into a simpler style and simplify or exaggerate to whatever degree suits you. you can also play with shape theory (square = sturdy/solid, circle = natural/smooth/welcoming, triangle = energetic/dangerous). shape theory doesn't necessarily need to be so rigid -- you can combine shapes as you please to convey whatever vibe you're going for -- so please think of it as a tool that may help rather than a rigid law you must abide by.

-> expressions: exaggerate them. thats kind of it!! make it big!!! you wanna be able to really feel those emotions. the principles of squash & stretch help here: think of how the muscles move when you, say, open the eyes or mouth really big. as one side of the face stretches open, the other side squashes to accommodate it

even without changing the position of the jaw here, moving the nose and scrunching the eyes will sell the expression

you can also play with squash/stretch to break proportions to sell a feeling more

since expressions are just, well, poses for the face, everything else for poses applies here (and facial expressions & pose should also be considered in tandem). while the term contrapposto itself just refers to the offset of the shoulders & hips, the similar principle of asymmetry also carries here as that will help make the expression a bit more dynamic.

and i think... that's it!! all i can think of at least. i hope it helps anon!!!

[protectingtulpas]

we cant really do active forcing due to our adhd. any advice? also, everyone is vocal (from day one for most of the newer residents) but no one is fully formed or able to do anything when not being actively focused on (no one has their own set of memories either and we are still monoconscious) so we suspect it might all just be parroting/imaginary friend stuff and no one other than the host is actually sentient. is this a "not enough active forcing" problem or some other kind of skill issue, and how can we fix it/know for sure whether everyone is sentient? sorry for how scattered these questions are, by the way. (we have multiple early-stage residents because we have this feeling that we are 'supposed to' be on the larger side rather than just being two; there are roughly five of us. cutting back would feel cruel at this stage.)

Yo! So your situation is, luckily, more simple than it seems from what I can tell. We have ADHD too and we struggle to active force past our first session, but the great part about that - and my first piece of advice - is that active forcing isn't everything!! Yeah, it's helpful for a basis, but especially with neurodivergent people, you gotta spread out a little more. You might wanna start trying passive forcing, which is doing so while you interact with and do other things in the outerworld! Like, for example, play a simple video game or watch a cartoon while forcing your tulpa, and then ask what they think about it!! Hell, even take a walk outside and point out all the plants to your tulpa. Nature does wonders!

Our second piece of advice is to focus on one tulpa at a time until they're able to stay stable without u forcing them. I know you've got this half formed situation but things will just take forever if you try to force them all at once, and the basis of your other tulpas will still be there once you're done focusing on one. I'd start with the one with the most autonomy! Or maybe even if you're struggling with that, you can start with two, and allow em to passive force by having conversations with each other. There're lots of possibilities for how to refocus - you gotta figure out what works best with your ADHD!

[counting-eyerolls]

this is me being angry about people's reactions to creative decisions in media so rambling under the cut.

jjk 236 spoilers for those who did not see the tags.

i think it's genuinely concerning how some people consume media. it's your comfort piece of art and something that you adore with all your being and you write about it and post about it and talk about it but the second your favourite dies (said favourite happening to be one of the "hot" characters) boom it's shit and you shouldn't have read it and you come up with insults and slurs towards the creator.

in the past 1.5h i've been awake today i have seem so much hate towards an artist all because of a newly posted chapter and the way it progresses/ends.

yes this is about jjk and chapter 236. (spoilers ahead, last warning)

i feel like the point of any creative piece (writing, visual art, music etc) is to send a message and have the readers/watchers etc feel something because of your work. it's to send an emotion.

remember how we all felt when geto was dying? i sure do. he was and still is my favourite, dead and all. broke my heart -- it all did, not just his death but everything leading up to it (in terms of satosugu moments and symbolism for example). i didn't see this much hate though. maybe this is because by the time he died, he had already become one of the negative characters and people already had new favourites to focus on, heck if i know.

still.

i mean obviously, nobody likes the fact that your favourite character gets killed but it is about the vision of the author/artist etc. geto dying gave us so much symbolism and so many parallels and character development (for gojo, for example) etc without which he probably wouldn't have turned into the character everyone is obsessed with. it was part of a complex backstory and character development, it showed us how the specific character was dealing with problems which aren't that easy to deal with, it showed how the influence of those around him (or lack thereof) affected him and why he ended up choosing the path that he chose etc. yes, it was sad that he died, but it was part of a bigger story. still i think it's unbelievable to insult and criticize someone so much because of a choice they made with the character they created. i get that it sucks that your fav dies or suffers but try to appreciate the fact that no artist owes anyone anything and they are still creating and publishing and putting their art out for you to consume and sharing their creativity with you. would you have preferred that you never had said art piece at all?

imagine you come up with a story that's so awesome to you and you're proud of it but halfway through you start getting hate for it because you kill someone in the middle of it. when it was your story to begin with ?? so you are allowed to do whatever you like ?? literally no rules. but the people criticizing you don't know what you plan to do with this in the long run so they just, well, hate. this is what i cant accept, no matter the fandom or the characters, whether they're fictional or based on real people or stage personas etc. not agreeing with a creative decision (in fiction or otherwise) is perfectly acceptable. sending hate to the creator because you do not like it? unacceptable.

stop consuming it then. it's just as easy to stop as it is to pick up.

and it disgusts me that people who should know better are doing this. people who are fic writers themselves. maybe not directly sending hate to the creator but commenting and posting about it (using dare i say quite shitty wording as well). this is not only telling everyone that you share this opinion but encouraging others who feel the same to follow your example, even if you are not explicitly doing it. you are encouraging, for example, followers that are younger and do not know better (not because "when you're young you don't know anything", but because it is true that at a younger age you are not able to fully understand certain principles and thought processes and what is right or not) to do the same and who knows, said influenced people (whether old or young, doesn't matter) can then take the hate further to the creator. you are inactively telling people who do not know better that it is okay to do this. why? because to you it is "so serious ong" or because "you are disgusted" by this creative decision and so on. as a fic writer on tumblr you sometimes become somebody that readers and those who do not have the confidence to share their work look up to. and you normalize this behaviour because you are upset that the sexy white haired guy died when you liked to write fics about him. you normalize this behaviour and find it acceptable to do this (because if you didn't find it acceptable, would you be doing it in the first place?) just because you refuse to take a deep breath and look at things from another perspective.

in my opinion it also shows that you are unable to take a step back and see the bigger picture or appreciate said creative decision in relation to the whole creative work. how do you know that your favourite dying will not change the story in the best way possible? you do not know, because the story is still ongoing.

so you are basically consuming the media but not actually appreciating any of the work and thought that go into it. you don't see it as something that is trying to send a message. you don't see the work that gets put into it. more importantly, you don't think that maybe the point of the author/creator is to do more than just write hot characters. so you are not appreciating the thought process behind it but when you don't like something? you are way too quick to criticize and insult. i am not saying you should like or agree or enjoy everything that happens. but you also cannot choose to insult and slur your way out of something you don't particularly like, especially when it doesn't seem like you give praise and what is deserved when you do actually agree and like the creative decisions that have been taken. so if you cannot do the opposite (aka being positive about moments in the media you consume) why do you feel the need to be so vocal and negative about things you do not agree with. has it occured to you that maybe you don't understand the full creative thought process?

disagree with creative decisions, come up with actual thoughts on why you think it wasn't right to do so or why it shouldn't have been done in the first place, come up with arguments and reasons why you think it doesn't make sense or why it isn't realistic. analyze the characters and the actions that the creator is making them do. maybe it's out of character or maybe it's a plot hole. who knows. come up with an opinion and justify why it is so "disgusting" for you to experience said part of the work. you will never achieve anything with insults and slander just because you are unhappy.

i don't feel the need for people to validate what i am saying or agree with me. but if you do not agree with me at least try telling me why. this is the essence of what i am saying: you can have a different opinion and not agree with someone but still be respectful of their decision to think or act that way. in art or in the real world.

you will also never know why the person thinks a certain way if you don't at least try to understand or ask them about it.

anyway yea.

[comfort-person]

Stronger than you believe

Request: hello! I was wondering whether you could do a story on Henry creel/001? I don’t really have much of an idea of what you could do but if it could be dark? Like maybe Henry helping the reader escape the lab after something happens? Thank you!

A/N: Omg Henry seriously has my heart. Absolutely! I hope this is what you were looking for. All the love, A xx

“You know you can do it…” his voice was soft and assuring as he looked at you, his slender fingers soothingly rubbing up and down your back your eyes focused fully on the empty can of coke sat on the table “I cant…” you whispered out “yes you can, y/n. You can.” Henry spoke confidently and you glared at the can, you had always struggled with your powers. Everyone else got it down so easily and you just struggled as if it was the hardest thing ever, as if you simply didn’t have any powers. You kept staring intently at the can breathing heavily, your hands trembling, the can starting to vibrate on the table “focus…” Henry whispered to you and you desperately tried to but the harder you tried the harder it became, your shoulders slumping as you fell back into the chair letting out a shaky breath “I seriously can’t one” you whined out and Henry, although wanting to convince you to try again knew you needed your strength and so simply nodded “okay. Don’t worry. You nearly got there… just need that slight more attention.” He assured as he flattened his palm against your back rubbing in soothing circles against your back trying to simply calm you down.

“Try her again” papa soon spoke up making Henry glance at the older man “but she’s tired she needs-“ “try her again.” Papa continued and Henry bit down on the inside of his cheek before nodding his head before turning back to you “you need to try again for me y/n… try your best… you can do this…” he whispered to you not wanting papa to be angry at you as he knew when papa didn’t see improvement in anyone he would expel of them or do even worse. You took a deep breath before narrowing your eyes as you glared at the can “you will do this y/n” papa spoke as he had took Henry’s position beside you, henry now stood up just behind you hands lightly folded in front of him as he watched silently. He wanted to stick up for you tell papa that you were struggling but papa wouldn’t care, if anything it would give him another reason to get rid of you and replace you. You clenched your jaw body starting to tremble as the crimson liquid began to trail out of your nose the more you tried, henry stayed silent watching as the can began to tremble but at the same pace of before, it just wasn’t going to work and Henry didn’t want you getting hurt or put in isolation and so Henry with ease rather quickly stuck his fingers out his hand remaining by his side hiding what he was doing before he did a twisting gesture watching as the can was crushed a delighted look forming on papas face “that’s my y/n… good job.” He stroked his hand over your forehead gently as he smiled at you “I’m so proud of you.” Papa whispered a soft smile on Henry’s lips his hands moving just behind his back as he watched, pride on his face, even if he had done it… he didn’t care. He wouldn’t take the credit for it because he knew he was there to help you. Not shame you. He was there to support you through it all.

-

“I know you did it” you whispered looking at Henry who was moving his chess piece across the board, he stayed silent lips remaining sealed as he simply hummed, eyes soon flicking to look at you “and it was worth it.” He said calmly and you gazed at him frustration lingering in your eyes “but…-“ “but nothing dear, I was helping you. Nothing more nothing less. We all need a helping hand sometimes.” He said simply. Henry craved safety outside of the lab, he wanted to escape… leave… but that just wasn’t plausible. “What would papa of done if I didn’t do it?” You soon asked making Henry freeze body tensing up slightly as he swallowed thickly, shaking his head, “that isn’t something to worry your head about.” He reminded calmly but you wanted to know. You needed to know… you gave him a silent look, remaining quiet- pain clear on your face. You had always felt safe in the lab but now you were aware that something more sinister was going on.

“Put you in isolation. Hurt you. Killed you. I don’t know.” He shook his head putting his head down, he couldn’t and wouldn’t let you get hurt. No way. “But papa wouldn’t do such a thing” you tried to deny it Henry’s reassuring eyes immediately telling you otherwise “he would. And you know it… you may not want to believe it. And that’s okay. I didn’t for a while, as well, not until he made the guards torture me for helping you when I wasn’t supposed to” he said and your eyes widened slightly “they hurt you?” You asked horrified and with a simple nod Henry remained silent, “No one’s safe in here. We’re all experiments. It’s been this way since I was young. We wake up… work… sleep… repeat. It’s a toxic cycle that won’t stop. And if you get killed then it really doesn’t matter, they can easily replace us. To them we’re all just numbers… look.” He paused knocking one of the chess pieces down “can you still play chess with one piece gone?” He asked looking at you expectantly, and you nodded your head “yeah… because there’s other pieces we can use.” You said as it started to settle in your mind wandering, breathing quickening slightly “we’re nothing to them y/n. We’re just numbers. Replaceable lab rats who have no point in life apart from being experimented on.” He said harshly but you knew it needed to be put to you in such a way that you would truly understand it. “I’m planning on leaving.” He whispered out eyes flicking to look at the cameras making sure they weren’t recording before he looked back down at you “join me?” He was planning on going alone but knowing what could happen to you without his supervision made him sick to the stomach. He needed to protect you.

And so later on that night once the lab went quiet you met Henry in the darkness, a small vent being the only thing you were capable of crawling through. “How will you go through?” You asked not wanting henry to leave you in anyway. “You need to go without me.” He urged but your eyes widened “no. No way. I’m not leaving without you.” You said and he stared at you silently eyes full of sadness “you have to. I promise I’ve got this handled.” You studied him confused “but you… you said you’d come with me.” You said watching as Henry easily manipulated the vents hatch to fall off, catching it in one of his large hands to stop any sound “I will. But you need to go first. Get out of here before it’s too late okay? I promise I’m going to be okay.” He then gently grabbed a hold of your hand bringing your hand up to his lips as he pressed a delicate kiss to your knuckles “trust me on this okay?” You took a deep breath before nodding… you could trust him… right? “But what if you get hurt henry? I don’t want you getting hurt! What if-“ he gently cupped your face in his hands bringing one of his hands up to press a finger against his lips “shh… I won’t… trust me. Hush. Just trust me… please.” He soothed calmly thumbs gently rubbing against your cheeks to try and comfort and reassure you.

-

After a little bit more of coaxing from Henry you finally agreed…

You had crawled out of the vent and to the safety of outside, staying curled up in the shadows knees pulled to your chest as you tried to calm your breathing… trying to stay calm… trying to simply breathe and not panic. You heard gunfire and shouting from in the building but tried to keep breathing at a normal pace simply praying Henry would be okay. And after what felt like ages alarms began to blare and you watched a tall figure run out of the building… Henry… his hand grabbed onto yours as he dragged you along the path “are you okay?” He asked whilst running, but he was quiet nonetheless and you nodded your head, his fingers intertwined with yours as he continued dragging you through the woods, sounds of footsteps and yelling just behind you along with gunfire making you panic. You had betrayed everyone… papa… your friends… the staff… everyone and the more you thought about it the more weak you became. Your bottom lip began to tremble your eyesight blurring as your feet began to drag, legs weakening and Henry in one last final attempt to get the both of you to safety lifted you up into his embrace, holding you so your arms were wrapped around his neck, legs around his waist as he carried you swiftly.

He was covered in blood and you could see the slight crimson liquid on him “is… is this your blood?” You whispered fearfully but he didn’t respond, focusing on getting you and him to safety but eventually once in a shielded safe haven, it was a cabin- not much but it was somewhere… the roof was slightly moulded, moss growing into it clearly taken over by nature, it was a mess as well as if it had been lived in prior to them arriving but it would do until they found proper safety. He gently sat you down onto the couch as he crouched down just in front of you “it’s not my blood, no.” He assured calmly and your eyes filled with tears, you hated anyone being hurt and he quickly hushed you hand caressing against your cheek “why do you care for people who treated you like you were nothing?” He asked and you stared at him “because they are my family” you said but Henry shook his head “they’re make believe… trust me…. Do you trust me?” He asked holding his hands out for you to take and you gently did holding his hands as you gazed at him silently, “of course.” You nodded and he smiled a soft gentle smile before intertwining his fingers with yours, his free hand roaming up to caress against your cheek “you’re safe now. We’re free… You’re stronger than you believe y/n, you’ve joined me… we’re going to rule the earth together.” He said eyes shining with excitement and you gave him a questioning look “rule the earth?” You asked and he nodded,

“Rid the earth of all those nasty evil bad people… then we’ll make it our own… rule it… who’s to say we can’t solve cruelness, hm?” He tilted his head gently “this is our world… and we’re finally living in it… it’s time to take control over what is ours, right?” He asked compelling eyes gazing right into yours and a small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded, your hand coning up to rest against his cheek cupping his cheek in your palm…“You’re right….”

“Our world.”

[bicheetopuff]

I’d like to think that there’s no way bkdk haven’t talked before the war but knowing Horikoshi, he’s gonna make these really dramatic and if they didn’t talk before the war started it’s just gonna add more conflict.

They’ve been being awkward teens towards each other since the Endeavors Agency Arc. After that awkward dinner at the Todorokis, Katsuki accidentally admitting that he was eavesdropping on Izuku and Shoto at the sports fest, Izuku giving his two cents about how he thinks Shoto is getting himself ready to forgive endeavor because it’s obvious he doesn’t completely hate him and Izukus words being a somewhat reflection of how Izuku feels about his relationship with Katsuki, bkdk being told about Touya, Fuyumi thanking Izuku for being Shotos friend and Katsuki pouting about it, listening to Emdeavors apology to Natsuo and how he’s only looking for atonement.

That whole situation gave both of them a lot to think about and as a result they started kinda avoiding addressing each other and Katsuki’s hostility goes from actual violence to (I can’t think of any other way to describe this) basically pulling Izukus pigtails. For example: when he threw his headgear at Izuku for talking about Blackwhip. I also kinda think that was because Katsuki can smell Izukus bullshit about not knowing how black whip manifested and he’s upset that he’s hiding things. But the point is, he’s not really violent with him anymore and just throws goofy insults at him.

And after the first war, Izuku basically refuses to think about Katsuki at all and even during his retrieval, he doesn’t address Katsuki at all. With every student he remembers good times. After a memory about the sports festival and addressing Ojiro and giving him an excuse as to why he can’t come back, he thinks about Katsuki being stabbed along with Gran Torino and Aizawa. But it’s the first time Izuku thinks about Katsukis sacrifice and directly after he starts actually fighting back against his classmates. Even though he’s talked down by Iida he isn’t fully convinced to come back until Katsuki apologizes but even then Izuku apologizes to the class as a whole for saying they can’t keep up instead of addressing anything Katsuki said.

After that Izuku still kinda keeps his interaction with Katsuki to a minimum and it’s made semi obvious that Katsuki notices and doesn’t like it according to his reaction to Izuku leaving with just a letter to go by and when Izuku shifts his focus to Shoto when Katsuki is explaining his cluster move.

But he doesn’t say anything cuz I’m pretty sure he’s well aware it’d be weird, kinda like how Izuku is well aware that telling Katsuki how much he admires him would also be weird.

So with all that being said there’s still 3 things left to be addressed.

1) Izukus acknowledgement of Katsukis apology and how he feels about it. He’s been pushing it down and avoiding the shit out of it and we’ll either get it in the form of a flashback or during the Izuku v Shigaraki/AFO confrontation… which would be scary

2) Katsukis feelings about Izuku avoiding him. He’s obviously bothered by it but I don’t think he’ll confront Izuku about unless he’s forced to. He said during his apology that he doesn’t “expect this to change anything between” them so it’d be hypocritical to confront Izuku about it no matter how much it bothers him. Although with where the conversation between him and Shigaraki is going, I think it’s safe to say that he’s going to have to at least think about how he’s felt about it.

3) WHAT THE HELL WAS IN IZUKUS SAPPY ASS LETTER AND WHY CANT HE SAY ANY OF IT TO KATSUKIS FACE. WHY DID WE GET TO SEE URARAKAS BORING ASS LETTER BUT WE DONT GET TO SEE KATSUKIS. HIS IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WOULD SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT WHETHER WE WERE SHOWN BITS AND PIECES OF IT OR NOT BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNEW ABOUT OFA AND AFO.

Anyways… I think bkdk are gonna be forced to confront things that neither of them want to think about and whether they’ll be forced to talk about it with each other or not, they’re definitely gonna think about it and their actions will reflect their thoughts. And if they haven’t had a meaningful talk yet before the war, that’s just gonna make this confrontation so much more emotionally exhausting cuz you gotta remember, they’re just teenagers. And teenagers don’t wanna be at war and think about their weird feelings for their childhood friends at the same time.

Anyways this was just me kinda rambling oops sorry

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

🪲 Recommend a great fic centered on your favorite character!

cryptid!!!! these are all my personal recommendations for u!!!! fics that made me go “oh i bet cryptid would like that!”. (disclaimer: i do not take responsibility for any clowning involved in the posting of this reply!) im highly recommending them to everyone else as well though <3 hehe

zhou zishu (novel): our softest pieces by northofallmusic. post-canon i think, E. wenzhou fisting fic, its almost a character study that uses sex and fisting to focus on zhou zishu’s introspective journey of self-discovery regarding pleasure and sex. i read that recently and it?? blew my mind a little!?? i know you already know that fic and i know that because i DisCovered u in the comment section!! huehe (i wanted to go and poke u but I Nobly Refrained). im listing it anyyway because?? its so good?? anyways here is another one that i want more people to read, it also blew my mind: Inside Out by CaffeineAddict94, who is a beloved friend of mine and an amazing writer, i dont know, have you heard of them?? <3<3<3 post-canon domestic wenzhou, E, angst. zhou zishu has abandonment issues and copes with it by taking as much of wen kexing inside him as he can. i love how visceral and tangible your descriptions are here, interweaving zhou zishu‘s state of mind with what he experiences in the body!!! okay, im done with dorking around!! <3 i dont read that much novel fic in general and it was a bit tough to come up with a third fic, after my serious proclaimation at the start that this is going to be a personal recommendation list! When the night is quiet by mtkay13. canon divergence, set during the puppet manor arc, E, light angst. introspective, a what-if of the hypothetical scenario that wenzhou get intimate sooner then they do in canon. what does it take for that to happen? i love how MT solves the issue of zhou zishu‘s insecurity and uncertainty regarding the question of wen kexing‘s sincerity, that makes it very canon-compliant, and it has the typical wenzhou push-and-pull when it comes to expressing and baring yourself in your desire! i eat that up like cake

wen kexing (novel): closer by northofallmusic. post-canon i think, E. wen kexing wants to see what happens if he lets zhou zishu top him. feat. implied comphet, self-discovery, switching. the pov alternates between them and it has some amazing things to say about zhou zishu too, but im putting it here because i really love wen kexing‘s handling of the matter. also one of my most favourite wenzhou novel fics!

wen kexing (show): spare me by staringatstars. post-ep36 time-travel fix-it longfic, heavy angst, graphic body horror whump, T. i literally just recced u that!!!! but let me elaborate on it anyway, for everyone else. it has delightfully gore body-horror (mildly but it is there!) and centres fully around wen kexing‘s state of mind after getting yanked back to the past. if u have ever consumed a time-travel media that features someone finding their loved one in the past at a point before they meet, with the present timeline loved one left behind, and thought that this comes very close to a character death, and that just because these are technically the same person u cant just interchange them and call it a day, look no further! this fic explores exactly this situation, with a lot of grief/mourning and hopeless yearning involved. also: horse shenanigans!

here is my second, actual recommendation!! ive been wanting to recc u this fic for a while because i know u like angsty stuff and grief as a theme, and this fic is really really good at these two things, but i also know u have been holding back from reading longfics because of all the oneshots youve been meaning to get through first. but!!! its free-real estate!!! mwahahaha!!!!! Long Away And Far Apart by timetoboldlygo. post-canon time-travel fix-it, heavy angst, grief/mourning, T. zhou zishu doesnt get cured and dies after three years and wen kexing goes back into the past to change events and ensure they both dont have to end up being the people they are, not expecting to ever remeet his a-xu again except for in the afterlife. i loved that even though the premise is that zhou zishu hasnt actually died here, the author really went there and had wen kexing confront this ugly situation of losing zhou zishu (which is graphic, btw) and being forced to live with it, for 100k, before he finds out about it. its just ugly messy graphic grieving and being forced to survive when u just want to die, of building a new life out of the ashes of your old one, and feeling all the feels that brings with it. the new family dynamics between wen kexing and his parents that are automatically altered by this decision are also amazing. i read this fic twice so far, i think, and it made me ugly cry each time

lan wangji: The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart. this is ,, like ,, my go-to fic when someone asks me to recommend mdzs fic (even though its no longer available) and its also the one i immediately think of in terms of lwj-centred pieces that blew me away. recommending this (or, honourably mentioning this) more in general because u already know it. in case someone has a friend who has a copy: modern au magical realism, E, longfic, heavy angst, graphic body mutilation, graphic body horror, grief/mourning, whump. is set in the fashion industry within the united states and focuses on the diaspora experience of being within that fashion industry as a work-related immigrant, especially in terms of race. i love how tangible lan wangji is in this. its really the character study of someone who is entrapped inside themselves and who is very bad at sharing what hurts them on the inside with other people. the magical realism as well as the mentioned body horror has to do with the actual live plants that grow out of lan wangji‘s body, and the graphic body mutilation comes into play when he him rips them out before anyone else can see. youve already said it in your own post, cryptid, the symbolism is amazing here!

here is my second recommendation which has not been removed from the archive. its doesnt have a lot of similarities with Roots but its also a lwj-centred fic i really like. wonder under summer skies by dragongirlG. modern au, cultural identity, E. also maybe light angst, because the topic of cultural identity and diaspora is written with the kind of weight it does have. this focuses on fashion as well but here from the view of an immigrant small business family-run tailor store in chinatown. i loved how this shifting relationship to your own identity, as diaspora, is reflected in lan wangji, clumsily but determinedly kneeling neck-deep into hanfu making and traditional clothing patterns, and in wei wuxian, whom lan wangji attempts to aid in his endeavour of reforging a connection to his long-dead parents. i dont remember more than that, its been a while since i read it, but it was so good!

bug me for fic recs!!!

[lighthousegod]

Hello and welcome to my rant from my time on Stranger Things Steddie and Friends Twitter for the past few months.

K I'm really pissed but its fine I wrote this all before the poll thing. Now I just. Can't get rid of it. (Me at tumblr headquarters right fucking now)

Anyway. Sorry for the interruption.

The fact that I've seen several ST fans claim most people who like steddie are fetishizing them is already shitty, but what makes it even more shitty is that they focus on them being two white cis guys fetishized by "white girls".

To reference the two white cis guys first, yeah, you got me there. That really is all those two are in the show. And if you wanna talk representation, well shit! Let's do it! Out of the main cast, we have 3 people of color: Lucas, Erica, and Argyle. Lucas is much too young to be in a relationship with either of them and already has one of his own, and Erica is ten years old. Now, I love Argyle, but he was written to be a comic relief character that had no arc and never met either of them. I think that's a wasted opportunity, Eduardo is great and would've done well as a fully fleshed out character, and there is a conversation to be had about whether that character would've been received the same way Eddie was being a white guy. But the thing is, he was never even CAST as a character who could be compared with Eddie- again, his whole character was "funny stoner." THAT is fucked, and people have definitely decided to ignore that fanon. In fact, Jargyle has become a pretty well known ship! Weirdly enough, the content I've seen of them has majorly been from people who also ship steddie! It isn't as popular as Steddie, though, and I don't think that's ONLY bc of half of the ship has less lore than eddie. There definitely is at least some internal bias us white queer folks should take into account when considering what ships we focus on in media.

However, I don't think that's why it's being brought up. I don't think I read tweets from lesbians with she/her in their bios condemning all us steddie ppl who just ship it because "they're two white guys we can fetishize for being in an mlm relationship" bc they're trying to be good allies. That COMPLETELY disregards that transmasc and nonbinary people (ESPECIALLY transmasc people of color) make a BIG chunk of the steddie fandom. Crazy, it's almost like Eddie was written to represent an outcast and literally GOT TARGETED BY CHRISTIANS and a bunch of people in marginalized communities related to his struggles! Except oh, yeah, that'd exactly what happened. And yeah, okay, he's a white guy and it IS pretty shitty that they cast a white dude to represent outcasts in general, but the people talking shit are watching the SAME DAMN SHOW that has a huge fucking cast and still has minimal representation. Fuck, man, Caleb McLaughlin has faced SO MUCH hate from assholes "fans" as the only black main character. Why the hell are people using that very real issue to back their shitty arguments against a gay ship on twitter?

Again, I wanna preface that 90% of these kinds of comments come from lesbians and bisexual people with she/her or she/they in the bio. I thought yall were COOL with the gay and trans people. Yall ARE queer people. Some of them were even big Ronance or Rovickie fans! YALL. WHY IS FRIENDLY FIRE ON??

A lot of this argument is backed by claims that steddie fans ignore canon queer rep, too, and I just don't understand that.

I know. Robin is representation. I am SO HAPPY to have her, and I'm so happy that Maya pushed for it, and as a transmasc person who was not out at the time and likes girls, I felt very seen when watching her coming out scene with Steve. However, I know I don't fully understand the lesbian experience as someone who likes guys too. I know Robin means a lot to wlw fans, especially lesbians. There have been instances where steddies have co-opted that scene to make it about steddie, and that is not okay. (I've never SEEN this happen, but I've seen people talk about it. All the steddie guys on Twitter that I follow were making it pretty clear that that was not cool and pretty fuckin lesbiphobic. I agree, whoever did that, fuck them. Wlw and specifically lesbian wlw relationships have very little rep and Netflix canceled all their shows and it's super fucked.) But besides this, I actually see a LOT of steddie fans who very much love Robin's character. Most of the steddie artists and fic writers I know are also ronance, rovickie, and/or Buckingham creators. A lot of them are wlw themselves!

//I should also note that Will is canonically gay now and I'm super excited, but truly, I just don't see as much appeal in byler because they're so much younger than me now. I totally love Will as a character, and I was around the kids' ages when the first season came out, but I'm in college now. I relate a lot more to the older kids! I'm real happy to have will as mlm rep and I hope he gets his moment in s5. I just didn't latch onto him and Mike the way I did Steve and Eddie! We all got preferences and that's fine.//

All this to say, I'm just so tired of Twitter, man. I just saw a post about how many cis women who claiming its "ableism" to say they have to be around anyone who identifies as masculine, including queer men, queer mascs, cis men of color, butch lesbians, etc. And I've seen a lot of that lately too. It's just so weird to see someone who identifies as a queer woman talk shit abt a steddie fan with a hellcheer shipper.

(man I can't even get into that rn. Chrissy and Eddie shippers in ST fandom are a whole other bout of drama. I've seen steddies be pretty nasty on the issue toward bi women who ship that bc of age difference, which I never really understood because eddie has no confirmed age?? Like idk how he can be a super senior AND 17 on his missing poster but whatever, I'm not stressing abt that as long as you dont make them have a weird age gap on purpose. Hell, I even thought they were love interests at first, too. But DAMN I've seen some hellcheer people that hate steddie. None of this justification type shit either, they just say "it doesn't make sense" and "I'm scared of steddie" and "they ruined the fandom and eddies character" like bro that's literally homophobia. like oogily boogily gay people jumpscare homophobia. So I just don't talk to those guys usually.)

Whatever abt the straight ppl tho they're never gonna get my weird gay stuff. But what SUCKS is when it's other gay people saying this stuff. Like what about mlm wlw solidarity man? Why do I gotta see a rovickie stan and a hellcheer girl talking abt how steddie shippers are all misogynistic and hate women?? Esp when so many are transmasc?? It's getting weird and TERF-y and I just. I wish we were cool again. ST is abt outcasts at the end of the day, it's why we root for them and relate to them. There aren't even a lot of queer people from the 80s around because of the kinda hatred people like us face. Not to mention racism, ableism, misogyny, all of it. For centuries. The people up top all hate us. We gotta have each other's backs and twitter is making us INSANE instead. God.

Anyway I'm gonna go watch the mandalorian now later losers.

[x-i-l-verify]

Hi,

Im curious about your posts on Dream SMP. It sounds really interesting but I cant seem to find any guides on the story? And I dont have the time/focus to listen to all the streams 1by1. Do you have any suggestions on where I could learn about the story?

thanks

Oh my, that's a bit of a loaded question. Well, I recommend checking out this post on the subject first and foremost for a quick summary of what it is and all. The story is a convoluted mess, though, it's true, and ain't NOBODY got time to watch all the VODs, not even if you dedicated the next couple years exclusively to it, there's just too much content. Nah, tbh, I'd just recommend watching the fan animations and animatics if you're at all interested in dipping your toe into the fandom to see what all the fuss is about, picking your faves, and then sticking mostly with their storylines, because there's too much content to catch up with otherwise. I WOULD recommend the wiki and such, but the wiki is honestly awful and extremely biased in favor of some characters, so I'd recommend steering clear of those. And, if you have the time or inclination to see me gradually devolve into madness over the course of 9 months, you can check out my DSMP tag and discover the series and its characters alongside me. Obviously, when it comes to characters I favor, I'm biased, but in a series like this where literally all the characters are main characters, that's kind of unavoidable. 😅I'll leave you with few of my favorite animatics from the fandom.

Hog Hunt by SAD-ist was the first piece of DSMP media I ever saw. Had no idea what it was when YT recommended it to me, but it had 3M views, so I figured it was probably decent. Would recommend the rest of her DSMP stuff as well, it's all VERY good.

-

If there was ever a single song to describe the DSMP as a whole "Villain" by Stella Jang would be it. (There are captions on the video.)

-

This animatic consolidates basically all the lore up to a certain point for c!BadBoyHalo into a single video, it's pretty impressive just how much information they were able to feasibly squeeze into this thing.

-

This is one of the animatics that was recced to me before I got into the fandom and partially made me interested in checking out more animatics. This is a summary of c!GeorgeNotFound lore, and it's very well done.

-

The DSMP has some original songs, too, though this one is rather unique in that it has a fully animated MV to go with it.

-

Other recs:

Anything by Knp!!!, particularly The Old Days and Good Grief.

Anything by Late-August, my favorite is Avarice.

Anything by Arisien, the first thing I saw of theirs was Got Any Friends?

WolfyTheWitch has some really great animatics (many of them AUs, though), their Requiem video was the first DSMP-related anything to make me cry.

The Search by Redwiwo is a classic, but it won't display on tumblr, so I'll link it here instead.

[vbee-miya]

Loved the matchups now can I have a normal one for haikyuu and demon slayer

A male one btw

I'm a straight short girl use she/her pronouns, im around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo also a infp,im also ace as for which one im not too sure atm as i just found out not ling ago. I'm 21. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. , unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. I accidentally snap at people and I find people's pain hilarious so if someone gets hurt there is a good chance I will laugh at them. I sound meaner than intended sometimes. I can have trouble showing that im thankful at times. I pick at scabs as a nervous habit. I love to add alot of lemon juice to my tea to where it's more lemon than tea. When I'm woken up early with low sleep I am very mean and grumpy. I cant tell when people are joking and take it seriously. I do have asphergers which is a form of autism. Becuase of it I am a very picky person with foods and such.

I am very kind but people take advantage of it and I don't usually fight back. I also have adhd and I can go on forever about something but I don't know when to stop and should be told to if it's getting annoying. I have self esteem issues at times as well.

I am a bit overweight it isn't shown well I have thick thighs and am just a but chubby around the stomach it isn't noticeable unless I wear somethign small I usually wear large t-shirts.I have a few weird talents. I can put my foot behind my head while standing and both while sitting down. I can burp for 14 seconds. I have been told I have resting bitch face. When someone stops talking to me my attention goes to something else so I won't be able to hear what they said if they say something again so I end up saying what alot cause I loose focus easily. I am incredibly stubborn if I want something done.

For dislikes I don't like people who don't understand that I'm different and ignore my sensitivities. I also don't like smoking it bothers me. For my love languages im not too sure probably gift giving or quality time as I love to just laze around in bed and play games.

༺❀༻ matchup ༺❀༻

haikyuu one

honestly i was going to match you with issei.

but daichi is definitely a better fit. he’s a sexy cop man that’s all I can say. but listen issei is also just as sexy and working in a funeral is sexy.

anyways daichi. he’d think your adoration for dragons and reptiles are pretty damn cool just like your drawings. because headcanon he can’t draw for shit and even if he did try it still wouldn’t look like what he’d want.

i also can’t keep thinking about how daichi low key looks like thomas crusader. if not by looks then definitely the vibes. idk that’s just my random take.

anyways your humor and his humor certainly don’t fit like puzzle pieces. but he’d try to understand dark humor which honestly he still wouldn’t find funny. though if it’s a funny meme then what the hell. he’ll give a good deep of a laughter. but he can’t resist a good dad joke and actually would be clever enough to come up with new ones when you guys are taking a stroke in some place.

he’d be weary of you about not fully putting yourself first than others, and he’ll remind you that. he’d make sure you’re taking care of yourself and even if it’s difficult he’ll be there to motivate you. after all you are talking to a former volleyball captain. it’s only natural he’s good with words and motivations of that sorts.

when you overthink he’ll hear you out but pull you back into reality. and tell you to take everything one step at a time. no matter how much you’re thinking about something, the moment you start getting ahead of yourself daichi would pull you out of the loop hole and take time to live in the moment and critically think about things one step at a time and make sure those steps aren’t just empty words but actions as well.

you’re bluntness might scare him, but honestly it’s more of the fact that he appreciates you for it. not many people who say they’re blunt are blunt. he’d also completely ignore you swearing. not that he’s got a problem he just wouldn’t care for it unless if it’s around his parents then he’ll have a word with you elsewhere. really playing that cop fantasy.

as mean as you may portray or perceive yourself daichi knows you’ve got a good heart. and even though it’ll take time for him to actually understand everything about you, just know in those times of being together he’s got insane patience and will never ignore you sensitivities. and like any decent human being will always accept you for who you are and will help you get better because you make them feel like they can also better themselves.

daichi even as great of a motivator as he is sucks at getting motivated. that’s only a joke though but if you give him something in exchange or even a simple talk in quality time he’ll forever be grateful to you. and also i will like to add quality time with you and daichi is watching action acclaimed shows and movies especially ones with cops and he’d play judge and see how well thought out and played the roles of the law are.

[angstics]

i couldn't agree more with the heart of your post earlier about being "gross" and struggling with mental illness (obviously i would never argue with the more personal aspect of it, that's not the focus of this message) and i deal with the same stuff all the time lol.

however, i would say fully attributing gerard smelling bad to his nebulous Mental Illness in a way gerard himself has never actually ascribed to it is a little questionable, you know? (even saying he "wasn't taking care of himself" is more perspective than a random fan can really have, though i'm not sure what specific time they're referring to so maybe it is more substantial than the fact that there were no showers on warped tour and i'm just rambling for no reason haha) there's SO much of what i can only think to call editorializing. but that is probably not the right word? of mcr history in the fandom, and making connections like that where it's maybe unwarranted and assumptive to make them. not that that's what you did, and honestly you're one of the best mcr fans i know wrt to NOT doing that lol. it's very easy to get caught up in it though; you start seeing it everywhere when you realize you have to look for it.

this is not at all malicious, and i know that wasn't the point of your post anyway! i would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on this one and i'm just sharing my perspective :)

first off, this is a nice message and im glad you brought it up. it’s good to be challenged.

i was being vague because it was more of a personal observation than it was about gerard. to be clear, i was talking about 02-04 when gerard was often described as a permanently rancid leather jacket by himself and interviewers (ie. tom bryant, andy greenwald, LOTMS).

maybe im victim of both fandom and media attributing Single Characteristics to people (“ha ha bullets shows would stink!”). for unknowable reasons, this prevalent description disappears after 04. maybe his hygiene got better. maybe it stayed the same. maybe “gross” was swapped out for “emo”. he’s sexy now, sexy cant be gross. it all is just a portrayal.

i also dont like how narratives are constructed from disconnected pieces of information, especially when the narrative becomes "fact". but i doooo think it's a part of being invested in any public figure. you dont know them but you like them a lot, so you create a person in your head from whatever you scavenge. whatever you NEED. i wouldnt care about this self-care/mental health connection if i didnt need it.

i never want it to seem like im psychoanalyzing this guy because it is rarely About him. when im talking about other people, im really talking about myself. it’s all projection. i should be more careful about that.

[aloneinthehellfire]

i cant believe how beautifully this was written?!?!?! you're a literal Angel and honestly a saviour for the fandom at this point (to those who are blessed enough to be reading your work)✨️

because truly while the original version is obviously brilliant, i would rather give YOURS all my brain space because i swear the way you've saved all our favourites (cause duh thats what we all want) while still taking us on the insanest most genius roller coasters of all time (its really not easy to give a character a whole backstory WITH the whole new storyline for them, and not make it seem like an essay- you need an award) is something im sure we're all super grateful for

this is hands down no cap genuinely the BEST fan fiction I've EVER read, i can't even put it all into words how beautifully you've been able to first of all embody what fanfiction IS cause ive never seen a show x reader piece this well thought out and effortful enough to make u feel things all over again AFTER having watched the whole original show?!?!?! YOURE INSANE AND WE LOVE YOU❤️❤️❤️❤️

after the second last chapter i fully thought todays finale would END me i was expecting the worst i dont know why, itd literally be dumB

anyways im going to ignore the part where we've lost eddie again and just focus on the fact that hes alive THANKS TO YOU (are you kidding me we the readers brought him to life how much better could she have made this?)

anyways thank you so much again for even just giving me something to look forward to every day waiting for when u post, this series has kept me company through some of the hardest times this year, through exams and heartbreak, and the stress and emptiness the duffers also caused us 😭😭

ive also been screaming my lungs out about how my favourite writer replied to my ask and ACCEPTED my gay ass request of robin exclusivity???? the skies havent ever looked this beautiful thank you.

thank you for this journey (which aint ending we've got another season) upto here, WE LOVE YOU 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

can't believe i am lucky enough to have readers as AMAZING as you omg im gonna cry-

i promised a return for when st5 is released, and i promise our characters will finally have a proper ending!!! as for now, i have very many special things happening so *stay tuned*

as for eddie... just know its all a plan for the future. its a safe story plan if st5 doesn't bring him back but if we want to, we can just pretend he's safe and sound

aaaaand omg i was so so happy someone wanted a robin x reader just to give me that little push to actually write one ahhhhh

thank you thank you thank you

[spynorth]

Lucas Rants about Lucas

i get so bored with lucas in series 7-8 (bless his heart, he cant help it) but every time vaughn shows up at the end of series 9 episode 1 i go 100% fully feral because thats actually when his character gets interesting. I could rant about the entire two minutes of their conversation (i won’t though. not yet.) but for now i just wanna focus on that look when vaughn asks what’s it like being lucas north? like you can just tell the fucker i’m writing knows he’s in deep shit. I think he knew it from the first moment he saw him (he tells him to stay away after all) but I think it starts to tickle in the back of his mind that oh god things are bad because (as lottie pointed out when we were discussing it) that’s a very passive aggressive comment vaughn makes. he’s sort of testing the walls, testing lucas’ reaction. and lucas fails because while he tries to maintain that facade of a man who doesnt give a fuck (which he failed because we can all see him react) when vaughn says good to see you, john... lucas is not confused. that is not an expression of a man who is like ‘omg where am i? why did you call me john?’ thats a man that knows he done fucked up and its gonna come back out because vaughn obviously wants something from him. 

i have to give the fandom the benefit of the doubt and assume that a lot of people take this idea of lucas not knowing/remembering his past as john on this weird out of context quote that floats around from richard where he says something about ‘john bateman really starts to emerge’ ... Its not an actual person?? this is not a short novel by robert louis stevenson. John Bateman doesn’t (in my opinion. I mean, i guess people can veer whatever direction they want) have anything like DID or something. and trauma amnesia doesnt make sense to me either because he KNOWS. he’s not confused. But anyways i think its a popular fandom idea to polarize lucas and john into these two different people and idk if its because people have never tried to manipulate others before (hi. nice to meet you.) or what but you’re not two different people. there’s not a what you are vs a what you’re trying to be and they arent constantly fighting for dominance. in my opinion, the john bateman starts to come out is more like .. what is the use of his role he’s playing? there isn’t one. He’s gotta go back to those instincts and reactions and behaviors that got him to the point hes at in the first place. He unravels because he’s losing his mind because (like i’ve preached since day one), the chess pieces are completely upending themselves suddenly on his carefully planned out board.

i think i’m triggered by the excuses people try to make because i want to support and be like oh yeah yalls theories are valid .. but honestly, fanon is not canon. and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth because its like the idea is to have him be a good guy and he’s not and there’s nothing wrong with that. it doesn’t have to be good or bad but i just don’t ever get why it seems to be a thing where people want to make excuses or reasons that their white boy faves arent out there doing shit things. why fanon. why. he is a terrorist. 

[solemnty]

i feel lost for the first time in a long time. the type of lost that used to drown me. the type of lost that would swallow me whole. it hasnt been since probably freshman year of college that i feel this type of lost. i dont know how to describe it other than a gnawing in my sou and an aching that i cant get rid of in my throat like acid burning. why does my mom not want to face me or talk to me. i think thats the beginning of the end. of family looking away from you. maybe i have too much focus on the goodness that other people are too lazy or determined to ignore or desert. maybe some people dont want to have the determination that i do. i can never fully express myself without pushback. its weird. people trying to control me and tell me how i am. its fuckin retarded. everyone trying to impose on me how i should be when i know what reality is and what we are. is there really no one like this that i can find? is goodness that deprived? i think so. i know so. because of you God. i will never succumb. give me your best satan. you will go down. i will defeat you. and you will tremble before your God. this is a declaration of war against you. i dont care what you reign down on me but God will put you in your rightful place you disgusting piece of garbage. you will never win. Christ Jesus is my one and only savior and he will be the way. he is the way. the truth. the light. so yeah. get raped and pillaged satan. i hope your shitstain of an existence burns for all eternity.

wear white always

marry alec

live in missouri

[bigben-810]

every fucking time i get into something new and it later becomes a hyperfixation , i get a art block . no matter how much i want to draw the characters from the media im into i cant just . pour out an art piece , putting all my dedication and love for this new found interest that will alter and change me forever , giving me a long lasting impact that ill most likely never forget . even a quick sketch of one of my favourites would make me so happy , why xant i jsut do it then ? i cant just keep consuming others media and the offical media forever , so I have to make my own to feed and gnaw off on . this is going to be the next thing that im going to be ONLY thinking about for the next months . all videos / songs related will play endlessly on loop as loud as possible , but not enough to the point I get annoyed . little scenarios of the characters included will play on a little mental projector 25 / 8 . everything will become a reference to it , and will be related to it aswell , even if its extremely farfetched and strange . i will shut about it , and itll be my main topic when it comes to conversinf with others , and if it isnt , then ill zone and tune out , even if i dont want to . my main focus is only that , so why can draw it kn thd beginning ?! i need to let my feelings out , but unfortunately due to fears that pressure me into a corner . what if i mischaracterize ? what if it doesnt look like / similar to canon ? what if it doesnr look likd their most common fanon portrayal / how most other fanartist draw them ? what if it doesnt meet how I see thdm in my head ? and a fuckton more . i already burn myself out before ive even created the drawing , why am i likd this ?!?! i just need to put my index finger onto that cracked 4 year old screen , or my stolen mechanical pencil from afew months onto that cheap , 2 year old paper , turn my eyes and most of my brain onto autopilot , leaving only the creative parts and the side thats producing all my thoughts revolving arounf my fixation , and let my brain guide my finger , not letting my eyes fully comprehend what in the fucking world im even creating .

but i cant because i already had an art block in my last hyperfixation : """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" )