#because there have been too many DISGUSTING polls about her lately I wanted to make this one

[oneeyedoctogod]

Here late, but better late than never! For this WIP Wednesday, since the poll ended with a majority for me sharing my original writing as well (thank you everyone who voted!), have a little of an old(ish) WIP of mine where I wanted to experiment with second person POV. This isn't quite the beginning, but almost (although I should rework it probably. Starting with a dream is quite cliche :P)

--

You wake up.

You gasp, eyes blurry from tears — or is it sweat? You can’t tell, but it feels disgusting, like it always does after one of those nightmares. You rub your eyes, then keep your face buried in your hands, feel a sob stuck in your throat block your breathing. You try to force it out and cough, swallow back bile. You hate waking up. You want to run, like you did back then. But you’re stuck in your bedroll, having twisted it all around you before going to sleep because you knew how you’d react if you had a bad dream.

You’ve been having them for a while after all.

You force yourself to count your breaths, to calm yourself down. To come back to reality. Put your hands down in your lap and open your eyes.

(one, inhale)

You see your camp in front of you. The dying embers from your fire, the rest of your dinner scattered carelessly around it. Your backpack is right beside you, in case you need to leave quickly (in case your pursuers catch up to you). The river isn’t far and you itch to go wash your face but first — first this. The sky is still dark, although you can’t see the moon anymore. Your hands are clenched in your bedroll.

(two, exhale)

You force your hands to relax, to touch first the rough texture of the bedroll, then the soft grass around it. You blindly move them around, eyes staring at the sky, and feel something cold and hard — a rock. No wonder your back hurts, then. Then, slowly, you raise them to bring them to your face once again, rub your eyes once more. Carefully this time. Purposefully. Your skin feels hot to the touch, and wet.

(three, inhale)

Your breathing is loud to your ears, too loud. An owl hoots not far away from you, makes you jump. The flow of the river is quiet, but you still manage to hear it.

(four, exhale)

The smell of the fire is still strong, even with only a few embers still alight. You’ll have to be careful when erasing your traces, to make sure no one can still smell it once you leave. Under the sharp smell of the embers is the scent of coming rain, the humidity in the air almost stifling. It will help mask your presence. Slowly, the tension from the nightmare fades, replaced by the one from being on alert.

(five, inhale)

Your tears taste salty, covering the bitterness of the bile you swallowed earlier. You blink, and more of them fall from your eyes. You can’t stop yet. You have to remember first. Sometimes, it feels as if you’re still stuck in a nightmare. As if you never left that house.

(six, exhale)

Your name is Altair. You are… eighteen? Probably. Maybe nineteen. You let out a bitter chuckle. You have been on the run for more than half of your life now.

(seven, inhale)

Your family is dead. You relive their death every night, sometimes more than once. A mob killed your mother, father and siblings. You managed to run, helped by the only friend you had left in your village.

(eight, exhale)

You ran to your grandmother’s house. Both of you left the same night, to settle somewhere else, in another village where no one knew you, where no one could suspect what you were. You got a few years of relative peace. But you weren’t far enough.

(nine, inhale)

Your new village heard about you — about the young fugitive who escaped from the Inquisition. You don’t know who told them, how the rumors reached them. They went after you once more. Your grandmother tried to stop them. She used forbidden magic, and so they burned her.

She cursed them in return though, her last revenge, her last protection. You heard her that night, and as far as you know, that village is now haunted by so many restless spirits it had to be abandoned. It feels like not enough.

You were twelve.

And now here you are, on the run since then.

(ten, exhale)

You close your eyes on the last exhale. That last nightmare — there was something different about it. Something… other. A voice, perhaps? You want to remember it, but no matter how hard you try, it slips through your fingers, like trying to catch mist.

[cuddlesslut]

Part Seven: Regrets

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x rem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: guess who’s fridge went out and won’t be able to get a new one till the 15th 🙋🏻‍♀️😩. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual it’s kind of a filler But next chapter should be pretty long. I know a couple of people were wonder what happened with him so here we are with the return of a character. I might set up a poll for who should YN end up with so look out for that. I’m going to start writing my next story soon it’s going to be another angst!

Warning: Angst that’s about it. Maybe a lil lewd language.

Part Six: Promises

Part Eight: Hope

He laid in his empty bed staring up at his ceiling the only sound filtering through the room was the echo of the tv in the livingroom. He didn’t have the energy to go shut it off, plus he found comfort the noise it brought he found the silence unbearable. He sighed as he looked at the open space next to him. He never took much stock in how empty it felt without you next to him. The smell of your shampoo had long since vanished from the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine you were here next to him your head resting on his chest your hands interwoven talking about your plans for the day but while the memory played in his head clear as day his body had forgotten your warmth. It wasn’t too hard to picture , you had spent several morning just like that wrapped in each other’s embrace. He thinks to the mornings he’d walk out of his early showers to find you leaning against the kitchen counter drinking your morning coffee. He can still remember how you enjoyed your first cup of coffee to start your day. You liked your coffee sweet , but to were you could still taste the rich coffee flavor, always pairing it with an array of creamers. He remembers when you first started staying over at his place and he realized your affinity for flavored coffee he went out to the store and stocked up on as many flavors he could find in hopes you’d stay for more coffee before heading off to school. He loved that sight in the morning walking out and seeing you clad in just his shirt your hair a mess from last nights activities. But you weren’t here to have coffee in the morning, all of the creamers starting to expire, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Atsumu has spent the last seven month alone. There were a few nights he’d tried to pick up girls just to try and fill the gigantic hole left in his life by your absence but those all ended in disaster. One night he tried to have a careless hook up it didn’t get past the front door when he accidentally moaned your name when the random girl had cupped his manhood. She wasn’t very happy about that. He received a knee to the groin as she fleed the house. Another time he tried he was able to keep his mouth shut from making any mistakes after choosing a girl who was nothing like you but then he had another problem. He couldn’t get it up. You plagued his thoughts. You were the only woman his body wanted. It was quite embarrassing.

After Suna rocked his shit he finally started to snap out of his self pity. Why the hell was he crying? Because he was lonely? He can only imagine how lonely you felt every night he didn’t come home. He sighs running his hands down his face he really was a piece of shit he thinks. He didn’t treat you the way you deserved and he knows that. He knows he was selfish and inconsiderate. He knows he’s way to late but he regrets everything he did. Every single mistake eats away at him. None of it was worth it. Every flirt, every compliment that boosted his ego, the rush of excitement of being with someone else it was all worthless compared to being with you. He thinks back to everynight he stayed out late or he canceled dates, about the pain that hid behind your eyes. Now that his head wasn’t stuck up his ass he could finally see all of the misery he put you through. And he hated himself for it.

The setter wanted nothing more that to fix all of his mistakes, but he knew he was too late. Atsumu didn’t expect you to ever in a thousand years forgive him or even in a million years want him back, but he knows he can’t just do nothing. He’d spend the rest of his days trying to make amends. After Suna had pointed out how horrible he was for not looking for you he did everything to find you. He started by calling the University to see if you had been attending class but even with the title of fiancé , which he understood was false by not adding former to the title, they refused him any information to protect your privacy. He had long noticed the empty bank account but he wasn’t worried about that the money it was the least you deserved. Plus the fantasy of making you his wife and calling you YN Miya was nothing but a pipe dream now. So he’s sure the money would do you better. He tried to follow any money trail you left. He found the hotel that you must have run to that night. But even that was a bust leading to a dead end. He only knew one more course of action. He called your parents. They refused to answer his calls. Eventually he drove down to Hyogo by himself. The setter stood there on the front steps he’d stand on every morning when he’d walk you to school. It felt so familiar to knock on the cedar door, but everything felt so distant from his memories. Still he wasn’t quite sure what he expected, maybe for you to answer the door with a bright smile like you had all those years ago yet what he received was your mother standing there with a look of disgust present. He didn’t get a word in before she slammed the door in his face. He begged for her come back to please talk to him he just needed answers but he only received silence. He stayed there for close to an hour trying to get just a morsel of information. It was useless they refused to speak to him. That was his last idea he could come up with for finding you. Full of dread he made his way to his car ready to make the long drive home. The next day he received a phone call from his brother.

“Hey Samu what’s u-” the blonde started before his grey haired twin interrupted his greeting going straight to the point.

“She’s alive and fine,” Atsumus heart stuttered before he breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to ask his next question but Osamu cut him off yet again already knowing what his twin was going to ask.

“No we don’t know where she is. Kita-Senpai went to her parents and all they’d state was she was alive and out of harm, not that I’d tell you where she is if I knew,” Osamu’s tone was sharp. Atsumu knew he deserved that. His brother had made him well aware of his dissatisfaction in the blondes actions. He had to thank the his brother though, as upset he was with him he still looked out for him. Always checking up on him making sure he was eating and keeping up with his hygiene, throwing away all the liquor he could find because as disappointed he was with Atsumu he couldn’t let him tear himself apart.

“I know Samu, thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly before clicking the end call button.

He accepted that it was best he stayed out of your life. He wanted to make everything up to you and if staying out of your life was wanted then he’d respect your wishes. He spent the next months bettering himself. He cut all alcohol out of his life. Only going out when it was with his teammates although that was a rare occurrence they were also quite disappointed with how he had treated you, especially his wing spiker Sakusa. Omi-Omi had always had a soft spot for you. But still they didn’t let it affect their game play. He focused all of his energy on volleyball. He even started going to a few therapy sessions for his self distructive behaviors and impulses. He really wanted to do and be better if not for you then for himself. Although he still had trouble being home alone without you, never feeling quite whole. With out you this house would never truly be his home again. He was starting to get better and not drown in agony every morning he woke up alone although he knew he deserved it. One step that had made the process easier was boxing up the remainder of your belongings that you had left. For so long he had kept everything just as you left it hopeful for your return thinking maybe everything could go back to normal and life could be picked up where it was left off although this time he’d swear to never hurt you again. It was unrealistic to think that though. His therapist had told his several times it was a step he needed to take and while it took several months he was finally able to remove any trace from the house. That night he cried him self to sleep from the finality that came from not seeing a piece of you around as though you had never been there in the first place.

He regretted not cherishing you for the amazing woman you are. He’ll never forgive himself for losing the best thing to everything to happen to him. At Seven months since that night he was finally able to breath when he went home, not suffocating from regret every moment present in those walls. The Jackals were on a winning streak and even more exciting they had just got a new member. And after all these years he was able to hold up at least one promise he had made after breaking so many at least he could fulfill one promise by finally getting to set for Shoyo Hinata.

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[undoundue]

i don’t know anything except how stories go

i don’t know anything except how stories go

the music isn't as good as i thought it would be

i'm not sure if i've taken enough drugs or too much

when i take too much, i get grandiose: big ideas. little follow-through.

when i take not enough, i also get grandiose, but i know it,

and i sound like a graveyard glass harmonica when

the wind passes through. when i take the right amount, i do not ask

whether i've taken enough drugs or too much.

instead i hallucinate that i'm a cicada, an elegant disgusting jewel

smithed by mommy nature to reproduce a tinny song,

and i'm grateful to my parents

and the 17 years i spent gestating

and this morbid cherry tree

because nobody buckles their tymbals like i. also, cicadas lack

the relevant receptors altogether,

so the dosing question doesn't apply.

(beat) say,

have you noticed that zoomers are really into columbo?

(you nod)

i've seen him on twitter twice lately, asking "just one more

question—which would you prefer as an afternoon snack?"

and there's a poll, cheez-its

or little debbie snack cakes.

the appeal, i think, is to a generational forgetfulness, to

a generation most in need of alarm clocks and aricept,

to the desire to see forgetfulness as a superpower, as an

equivalent to innocence, to be so impervious to

reality's demands. but haven't we been here

before? didn't milennials all die for the sin of inventing "retro

gaming"? and by the way,

did you hear the one about the guy who gave himself three-hundred

and ninety-one concussions, each time suffering retrograde amnesia

which knocked out his memory of his last pokemon red playthrough?

ah. ah yes. it is not a tale the jedi would tell you.

when i take too much, i get despondent. when i take not enough, i

get grandiose. but the line breaks are for the poet's benefit anyway.

besides, there are kids smoking brick weed in lebanon, we should be

thankful for what we have.

and hex maniac is pretty cute. her pupils spiral

counterclockwise,

going from out to in; in some of the fan art they go the other way but

you can tell those guys don't "get it"; the allure of a counterclockwise

spin on how you are perceived, to have your silhouette distorted

and your details properly misunderstood, to lose at games you've

never heard of it, to eat with chopsticks incorrectly,

to trip and fall and look at the sidewalk and say "thank you.

yes. i had grown complacent in my patterns, my

nucleus accumbens

was running on fumes; and i certainly wasn't expecting that!" and

mean it. i did this once. i was in a state of rare tranquility after

masturbating for sixteen consecutive hours (essentially a

performance enhancing drug for meditation—which is why,

in the tibetan olympics, strict no-fap is required for a week

before competition—and they take semen samples to be sure!)

so (you nod), when the buddha saw me

so grateful for life's misfortunes, he made a "look

at this fucking guy" gesture to ganesh and then said "look at this

fucking guy" as if the gesture wasn't enough. naturally,

i was offended, and besides i recalled the old koan "If you meet the

Buddha on the road, kill him," which i had read in a collection

of koans for children titled "If you meet the Buddha..." which

my Mom had purchased for me in the novelty gift section

of an urban outfitters in santa barbara ("Mom, why are you shopping

at urban outftters?" "son, yr mama just tryin' ta stay cool. say, you

heard of this MF DOOM cat?" "ugh! Mom!") and which had

such thought-provoking aphorisms as:

"If you meet the Buddha in an airport, buy him a cheeseburger."

"If you meet the Buddha at a dive bar, play him some new wave—the

Buddha is big into that shit." the idea being, you're prepared for any

circumstance, which is what buddhism is all about. so i did a

bunch of fast attacks; the buddha blocked; i said "shouldn't

it be all the same to you if i kill you?" the buddha said "it would,

except i want to get home and watch columbo, and i don't

want to wait to respawn." i said, "jesus. just—jesus." then the buddha

kicked me through a brick wall. everyone in the WeWork

screamed and fled, leaving their kombucha behind, and

for some reason the sprinklers went off. then, after the initial

impact, a lone brick fell (because of torque—force times the length of

the lever, remember) and hit me comically on the head, causing a

concussion. i said "guh."

yup, (you nod sympathetically),

i was feeling mighty grim. then it occurred to me: why don't i

play pokémon red? unfortunately, on my cellphone i only had

the romhack version, you know, where all the pokémon are allegories

for depression. so you got your depressionmander, depressioneleon,

depressionizard, and for pokémon where that doesn't work

they use it as a suffix, e.g. bulbadepression, ivydepression,

venudepression. also you can't leave the starting room and

your character moves really slowly. the indie gaming press

loves it. one of the features that reviewers single out is

that, instead of a lone Stand By Me reference, the TV in your room

goes line by line through Aguirre, the Wrath of God, except the

murders are replaced with pokémon battles and at the end

aguirre tries to command a horde of mankeys ("depressionkeys"),

which is a metaphor. dark stuff. it makes me think back on my youth:

lying on my child-king sized bed, masturbating to polyhedral

stellations, suffering from severe geometric dysmorphia as i

compared myself to the grandeur of those idealized forms—god, i

used to hate myself for those wasted hours. i mean, i still do, but i

used to, too. only after years of therapy have i developed a mantra

that eases the pain:

"i am mostly a cylinder.

i am mostly a cylinder." presto. you can get off to anything, even

loomis.

(you nod, hesitantly.) on saturday night,

i throw open the window and scream at the children: "you'll get old

too! an abstractome of brittle opinions even as your bumbling

homunculus drops the data you once used to back them up!"

the children reply "not necessarily, given the rate of advances in

biotech. also, no one cares, grandpa." they play soccer. my

mad pilgrim hair blows in the wind. i scream: "suffer! suffer! i am

omniscience!" they say: "oh yeah? how many fingers am i

holding up?" "four! five! four!" "it was five, you old fart." "the thumb

doesn't count as a finger! you should have a specified!" "OK, new

game: what sort of person am i?" "you are—you are—!" and so

i peer into their souls and know the answer, but i can't

find the words. the words do not come. i have forgotten them.

silently i draw away from the window. the children smirk, but only for

a moment. for they know i am right.

ah, to reveal the soul's heist, to be seen through by the omniscient

and powerless, what a delight! who among us would not cheerfully

kill the buddha when he's comin' through the rye? who among us

has not been blessed by the kind words of a stranger? and yet, we

shouldn't incentivize people to be strangers. society would collapse.

besides, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, you and i.

(you nod.) we will have much to discuss about that.

[behindheremeraldeyes]

sasusaku month 2021

day 3 - nighttime

title: lost inside the habit

.

summary: It’s the middle of the night and Sakura can’t sleep. Her thoughts are clouded by an ugly feeling she had never felt before and Sasuke is the only one who can do something about it. It’s his fault that she can’t sleep, after all.

Rated K [ffnet] [Ao3] .

.

.

There was a strange heat polling inside her stomach that made her entire body burn. Her heart-beat was beginning to sound too loud in her ears, and no matter how many times she had already tried to close her eyes, sleep refused to come. She had been tossing and turning for at least 3 hours now, stubbornly battling against the urge to get up and do something in order to save what was left of her night.

It will pass, she kept telling herself, knowing very well that was a lie. It was not going to pass. Not anytime soon, at least. She sighed for the seventh time— but who was counting, right?— and tried to appeal to her logical side to free herself from that inner turmoil.

The shinobi world was at peace, her patients were well and her loved ones were safe and sound, probably enjoying the warmth of their beds at that exact moment. Naruto’s dream was getting closer with every passing day, her sensei was doing a great job as the Hokage and Gaara had agreed to expand her recent project to the Wind country.

Nothing was wrong, except—well— everything was.

The air inside her lungs felt heavier than all the boulders she has crushed with her bare hands during the war, and as soon as her lips started to tremble, Sakura knew she was losing it.

The eight sight came. Fuck, she muttered.

She used her forearm to cover her eyes as she bit the insides of her cheeks. It was way too late for her to be awake, let alone to be so filled with such unexplainable rage— or maybe not so unexplainable as she would like to admit.

It was all because of those stupid words. Words that could mean nothing, but since they came from his lips, could also mean everything. How could he say those things about a stranger? How could he ruin her day like that after talking about someone else with such easy words?

How could he compliment a girl he had just met when all she ever had were the recurrent “you're annoying”s? That jerk.

Though Sakura has always considered herself to be above such things, experiencing those feelings for the first time was a lot harder than she had originally expected. Jealousy hurt. It stung her heart like multiple needles, and the simple memory of that fleeting moment was enough to make her feel another projectile penetrating deeper into her core. It made her disgusted to even think of him, and more than that, it made her feel ugly inside.

She should be better than this. She’s a highly ranked medical ninja and shouldn’t let those feelings corrupt her like that. If anything, she should be happy for him, right? Happy because, after so long, he was finally being able to interact with different people and move on with his life.

Sasuke deserves to be happy. However and with whomever he chooses to. And if she really was his friend, she should be happy for him.

If she loved him— truly loved him, then she should be happy for him.

But she was not. She just couldn’t. Instead of happy, Sakura was mad, resentful and begrudging.

She was ashamed of herself.

Ashamed for not wanting to share a free and independent person with a world of his own choosing simply because she somehow felt entitled to a position that has never been hers to begin with. In all of those years he was away from the village and she was trying to get him back, it never crossed her mind that, perhaps, just that didn’t make her special at all. She was his teammate and friend, sure, and even the only girl he has ever spoken to for over 10 minutes straight, but there was never any guarantee that she would ever become more than that.

Just because she was the only one by his side, it didn’t mean she would be the one if he ever opened himself to those kind of experiences.

Sakura had no right over his love life. She had no advantage or extra points for being who she is.

His heart is not a prize to be conquered at the end of a game. There’s no winner, but she was certainly the loser.

Her cheeks turned red and angry tears were threatening to spill from her eyes at that moment. She was feeling like a spoiled little girl, crying in order to solve her problems. She had to get herself together. He has always done whatever he wanted and there was no reason it would be any different when it came to the matter of his heart.

He leaves whenever he wants to and returns whenever he pleases.

And as always, she simply accepts it all. It’s their own routine— an old habit which she refuses to abandon. Sakura has settled into that kind of life of waiting for him to make the next decision, and that was fine until she realized that, maybe, the one decision she’s been waiting for him to make might not involve her.

In fact, it might even take her away from his life.

The stubborn tears finally fell down the side of her face, and her eyes widened. It became harder to breathe at the idea of losing him forever and it was as if her chest was being crushed. Her fingers were now clutching the covers until her knuckles turned white, and the turmoil was now stuck in her throat, making her sick.

And if she didn't do something— anything about it, she was going to throw up.

Without thinking twice, she threw the covers away and stood up from her bed. She didn’t know exactly what she was doing, but before she could convince herself otherwise, the pinkette was already jumping through her window. With her bare feet, she was running through rooftops, the winter night gracing her exposed skin. Her heart was beating faster now, adrenaline rushing through her system, and as she jumped around, her eyes could already see her destination from afar.

Her cheeks were burning due to the icy breeze, but she didn’t care. Sakura had to get to him. She had to listen to a different voice from the one hunting her thoughts.

Once she got to the Uchiha compound, she ran towards his house, only stopping at the threshold. She was not thinking straight anymore for, in the dead of the night, she started banging on his door, calling his name, and had he had any neighbors, they would all be cursing her at that moment.

“Sasuke-kun!” She screamed, her heavy fist almost making a hole in his door. Her voice was rushed, and she could see the white haze escaping from her lips. “I need to talk to you! Sasuke-kun!”

Her heart was beating as fast as she was knocking, and for a moment, she decided to stop banging to see if her ears would capture something coming from inside the house. Nothing. The only sound she could hear came from the night wind and that was not what she needed.

Her emerald eyes glared at the door, a pout taking over her lips. It was impossible for a skilled shinobi like him not to hear all that noise. She was growing anxious and even considered the idea of invading his house through the window, however; she knew better than to believe that catching him by surprise like that would be a good idea. It was Uchiha Sasuke’s home, after all. She could bet anything that he had traps all over the place. Breaking in was definitely out of question.

She shook her head and decided that it was too late to start changing her original plans— not that she has any plan at all. The pinkette raised her fist, then, ready to start knocking all over again. When she was about to move her hand, though, the door suddenly swung open, only to reveal the alarmed figure of the man she had been looking for.

“Sasuke-k—”

“What!? What is it?! Are you okay!?”

He sounded breathless, his mismatched eyes scanning her from head to toe, as if he was trying to find any injury or any trace of blood. His dark locks were a mess, and his lips were parted in awe. Now that she was thinking about it, showing up like that was probably not the best of the ideas if she didn’t want him to get all worked up. There was really no need for all that, but there was no way he would know it. Especially when she was the one who started all that noise to disturb his sleep.

She would have to do something about that, too.

“Calm down, Sasuke-kun, I’m fine.” She sighed, her head now starting to throb. “No one is hurt or anything.”

“Huh?” His brows arched in confusion, his lips still slighted trembling until they formed a frown. “Then what’s wrong, Sakura?”

Everything. “Nothing. I—“

“Nothing!? Tch, bullshit. If you’re here in the middle of the night, almost breaking my door, then something must be off. Is it something with Naruto?”

“No, he’s fine.”

“Kakashi, then?”

“No, he’s okay, too. I—“

“Are you sure you are okay?”

“I’ve said I’m fine already, didn’t I?!”

With every question, she could feel her anxiety building up inside of her. Of all the things that could have happened that night, being practically interrogated by him was not something she had imagined at all. And whether she liked to admit it or not, that was probably better than what she had originally planned— which was, again, nothing at all.

“Sakura, then, why—“

“Can you just shut up for a minute and let me talk!?”

Her heart was beating too fast inside her chest now, and she realized she had no control of the situation anymore. Sakura was just there, growing mad for no reason at all, and he was also growing slightly irritated because it was the middle of the night and she had just woken him up so she could literally stand there making no sense.

God, what a night.

Silence settled between them for a couple of seconds and her green eyes started to inspect him out of habit. His breathing pattern was slower now, his eyes still trying to read her, and Sakura was starting to feel overwhelmed by that. She had to say something. Anything or else he was going to think she was insane— and maybe she was because she didn’t really know what the fuck she was doing there anymore.

A new sigh escaped her lips, and she closed her eyes for a second, trying to recollect what was left of her. She looked at him, then, and took a deep breath, the cold air reaching her lungs. “Look, no one is hurt. The village is safe, and for all I know, all of our friends are sleeping safely right now.”

“Then why—“

“Why am I standing at your door at such stupid hours and making a fuss for nothing?” She asks, rhetorically. “Honestly, I don’t even know, but here I am.”

He stopped for a moment, his face now holding a very confused expression. His fingers reached for the bridge of his nose and he closed his eyes for a moment, the adrenaline from earlier finally wearing off. He was annoyed, she could tell. Still, at least the interrogatory was over.

“Look, Sakura… I’m going to ask you something and I promise your answer won’t change the way I see you as the respectable shinobi you are.” He stopped for a second, tension now building up inside of her. “Are you drunk?”

Her brows knitted in confusion, and his question took her completely by surprise. She had no idea of what kind of expression was spread across her face right now, but she could bet it was a strange one. He couldn’t really be serious.

“What?” she asked, not really believing he was asking her such a thing.

“It’s a completely normal question. Did you go out for drinks with the Godaime?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Are you sure?”

"I’m not drunk, Sasuke-kun!” She yelled at him, her red cheeks now puffed in anger. She clenched her fists, but loosed them after a second. It was late and cold, and damn, she should’ve thought properly before crossing the village wearing only one of her father’s large t-shirts and some fluffy trousers. That was not working at all. “Can I come in?”

When she asked him that, it was like something clicked inside of him and he realized that they were, indeed, in the middle of a winter night. Whatever was happening, they could do it inside his house, where it was clearly more comfortable. “Aah, of course. Come in.”

“Thanks.”

They entered his house, then, and for she was already used to it, the pinkette ended up leading him towards his living room. She sat on his couch, and with no ceremony, he sat next to her, their knees practically brushing. He was close enough so she could feel some heat radiating from him, and somehow that offered her some kind of comfort.

Of course it did. He is Sasuke-kun, the boy who has been holding her heart for at least a decade now. The same boy who can make her smile and cry with a single smile— or the lack of one— and the one who has dared to compliment a girl in front of her. Ugh, not that again.

“Can I get you some tea?”

“N-No, I’m fine, thank you.” She bit her lower lip, the ugly jealousy starting to bite her insides again. “Sasuke-kun, I need to ask you something.”

“Hn. I’m listening.” And indeed he was. He has always been a good listener, and perhaps that’s why it has always been so easy for her to talk to him. Just being with him has always been enough for her, but now— now that it was late and she knew there was a chance that he could, eventually, be taken away from her— it just wasn’t. Not anymore.

She had to get it out of her chest. No matter the risks, she had to be honest, and whatever he decided to do with that honesty, she would have to accept it.

“The thing is… I don’t want to lose you, Sasuke-kun.” She bit her lip, her cheeks growing warmer. “Not again.”

His eyes widened, and she noticed the way his expression slowly melted into a softer one. His lips were pressed in a thin line, and he was looking at her with all the tenderness in the world, as if he immediately understood her. “I'm not running away from the village again, Sakura. I won’t—“

“Not like that.” She spoke, and she could feel her cheeks growing redder in embarrassment. “I’m not worried about you leaving the village again, Sasuke-kun. I’m just scared that, when you decide to stay… It won’t be with me.”

Though she had decided to be straightforward about the whole thing, Sakura didn’t think she could use any other words to describe her feelings at that moment. That was the best she could muster at that moment, and that would have to do.

Her eyes were looking straight at him, carefully searching for something— anything that told her he had understood the real meaning behind her words. She could feel that her heart was about to burst out at any moment now. Her hands were shaking on her lap, and with every second of torturing silence, she could feel her senses screaming at her to run away and never look back.

Perhaps, if she ran home at that moment, he could go back to bed and pretend it was all a strange dream. Perhaps she could try to convince him she was, in fact, wasted after a night out with her master. Perhaps—

A sudden warmth enveloped her small hands, and when she looked down at them, she saw his big, calloused palm over them. His skin was warm and his thumb carefully started to caress the back of her hand in circular movements. Her eyes widened at that, and when she lifted her head to look at him, his eyes were already on hers.

They were so deep at that moment— so delicate and caring that she just couldn’t bring herself to look away from them. His eyes have always been her favorite things about him, and even after everything, she still found them the most gorgeous things in the entire world.

“You’ve always had the strangest concerns, Sakura…” He spoke softly, as his lips slightly curled upwards. “How could it not be with you?”

Her eyes were tearing up now, her lips twisting into a pout. A wave of relief was spreading across her body, and she knew she was really close to start ugly-crying in front of him. “It couldn’t?”

“Of course not.” He squeezed her hands. “As long as you don’t change your mind, then—“

She cut his words before he could finish his sentence as she pressed her cold lips against his warm ones. It was an impulse she couldn’t control, and she was glad for that. After years of holding back and imagining how actually kissing him would feel like, there she was, making the first move and making sure he knew there was no changing her mind.

His lips, as she realized, were soft as she had always pictured them to be, and she couldn’t help the sparks that took over her at such simple contact. She had dreamed about that for most of her life, and once she felt his hand cupping her cheek as he started to kiss her back, Sakura realized that it was all worth it in the end.

She was smiling against his lips, and though chaste, that was probably the most intimate moment they’ve ever shared. Once they parted, she noticed that his hand remained on her cheek, and she couldn’t help but lean against it. Her eyes were holding a smile of their own, and even if her life depended on it, she didn’t think she could hide the happiness radiating from inside of her core.

Not from him. Not at that moment.

“I won’t ever change my mind.” She said, eagerly.

“Hn, that’s good to hear.” He said, caressing her cheek one more time before letting his hand slide from her face.

“And you better not change yours either, Sasuke-kun!”

“Where did you even get this stupid idea from, anyway?”

“Eh?” Her eyes widened, a new blush taking over her cheeks. How on earth was she going to explain to him that she woke him up and kissed him in the middle of the night just because he complimented a random girl the other day when the whole team 7 was together having lunch? He would never stop mocking her if she told him that. “No particular reason…”

“Tch.” He scoffed. “Honestly, you’re spending too much time with that Dobe.”

“And whose fault is that?” She crossed her arms across her chest, a mocking tone lacing her words.

“Hn, you might have a point.” He nodded, accepting her words, but choosing not to comment on them. “Are you feeling better now?”

“A lot. I was going insane back home, and I just had to do something about it. Sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night.”

“It's fine. Whenever you need."

“Hey, don’t get used to me just coming in and kissing you!” She blushed madly, finally remembering her boldest move.

“Your words, not mine.”

“Shannarou.” She sighed, her heart a lot lighter now. Anxiety was no longer torturing her from the inside, and the green monster of jealousy was now silenced in the depths of her mind.

In the end, Sakura was glad for doing what she did. She was proud for finally taking a stand and not just keep waiting for a magical moment that might never come.

She took the first step towards a new future filled with possibilities, and though she didn’t really know what was to come next, at least, she knew for sure that, in the end, they would be together. And for the moment, that was enough.

fin.

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a/n: so, why not write a jealous Sakura every now and then, right? I had a lot of fun writing this one and I can really imagine that pink-haired dork being all worked up over something like that XD Also, this was inspired by that song “Stay with me”, which is originally a Japanese song, but I can’t stop listening to Caitlin Myers’ version of it! Anyways, enough of me. Hope you’ve enjoyed it, and please, leave me a comment with your thoughts!

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 22

Chapter 22 is here. This is number one of the three important chapters. i wrote it a while ago and i edited about 8 times. It's a big chapter (in every sense, almost 7k words) for our two lovebirds.

WARNING: This chapter contains smut not heavy but yeah... hot times... and definitely a wall :)

Aelin and Rowan  finally have their getaway. Oh yes, and there is also a tons of fluff.

Now... I am terrified at the idea of posting this chapter. This is the first time for me writing smut. I have read plenty of it but never written it. So I am panicking, I really hope it's not too cringy because this chapter means a lot and i want it too be good.

I really, really hope you will love this.

As usual, thank you to everyone who so far liked or reblogged my story <3 Love you all.

Rowan sings a song to Aelin and it's this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfDtTHC8BoY. Please listen to this beauty, and you will understand Aelin's reaction.

We also get to know Malcolm, Aelin's second at the hospital. He is amazing and I love him already. Hope you will too.

Enjoy the chapter.

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A few months had passed and summer had given way to winter and November had arrived. Aelin had slowly settled into her new job and fell in love with it. It was not as fast paced as London but that was a positive. She had the time to get to know properly all her colleagues and realised they were like a family. It was a small team and she could not believe that they were all getting along. In London with a much, much bigger team she had to deal with constant drama and dislikes. They had welcomed her in the group from day one and that had made everything easier. Malcolm, her second had showed her the ropes in the first few weeks while she was adjusting and since then he had been an amazing support. She had also discovered he preferred men and had a massive crush on Rowan and Aelin still laughed sometimes at the image of when Malcolm saw Rowan for the first time. 

He had walked straight into the A&E glass windows because he was too busy staring at her boyfriend. She and Malcolm had become great friends as well and he was slowly turning into the male and islander version of Lysandra. She was also impressed by the man’s skills. He had served as medical officer in the Navy and he was basically impossible to scare or to disgust. He was incredible in an emergency situation and Aelin loved the way he could keep his head straight. She had also taken under her wing an intern that reminded her a lot of a younger self. Finally after a long time she actually loved again going to work in an hospital and that had made all the difference. Not working in the bookstore felt weird and on a couple of occasions she had spent her days off there with Rowan. Her shifts were not crazy and they could easily see each other, a part from when she was due to work the night shift. But she had realised that somehow their relationship was getting stronger. They began cherishing a bit more the moments they had together. They still hadn’t done the deed but Rowan’s excuse was that if she wanted snow in their getaway they had to wait for winter.

That morning in late November her alarm went off and she slammed it shut quickly. It was Sunday and Rowan was not going to work. She made a move to get out of bed but an arm pinned her down. “Where are you going?” He was sleeping on his belly and his face was smashed in the pillow and his eyes were still closed. “Some of us have to go to work.” He grunted in response. Aelin leaned over and kissed his disheveled silver hair. She tried to move his arm but he pinned her down a bit harder. “Ro…” He grunted again and finally sat up and Aelin smiled. She loved seeing him in the mornings. He was always prime and proper during the day but mornings with his sleepy face and his messy silver hair, were her little treasure. The man was sex on legs even after waking up. “You don’t have to wake up for me.” “I got something for you.” Aelin gave him a questioning look. He smiled and gave her a piece of paper. She opened it and saw a name and dates. “Our getaway. That’s the name of the location and the dates I’d like.” He explained with still a sleepy voice. Aelin heart hammered in her chest. It was in a week. She had to make sure she could get time off. She waited months for this she and had no intention to postpone. “There are quite some cool lodges for holidays.” He smirked and heat polled between her legs. “I’ll make sure I get time off. I’ll beg Malcolm but I’ll have those days off.” “Good.” And he collapsed back in bed. “Go back to sleep.” She kissed him and left for a shower. A big grin on her face. Finally.

Aelin in the end had managed to get time off. Malcolm had offered to take her shifts after she had explained why she needed the time off. As a thank you she had offered to work two of his weekends and the man was even happier. Aelin and Rowan were now in the car toward their destination. They had taken the first ferry of the morning and were now back on the mainland. During the night it had snowed a lot and that’s why Rowan was at the wheel. Aelin had found an amazing cottage for a wonderful price. Being low season and all. They got a lodge in an isolated location with quite some luxuries. One of them was a working fireplace in their room. They had a massive kitchen according to the pictures but most of all, she was excited to try the small pool. Yes, in the back on the cottage there was a room with a small heated pool, with a floor to ceiling window. She had some plans already on how to use that room. They arrived an hour later. The place was near Lochinver. The town was covered in snow and Aelin was excited. They stopped in the village for food and then set off again. Once they arrived at their lodge Rowan complimented Aelin for the choice. There was nothing around them but woods and it felt like the perfect place, just like they had agreed. Aelin got off the car and was glad Rowan had convinced her about getting proper winter clothes. It was cold and she was looking forward to spend the four days in bed with him or cozying up in front of the fire. If they never left the lodge for nothing but food she would be happy. That’s all she needed. They took their luggage and entered the house and Aelin’s mouth fell open in surprise once she was inside. The place looked even better than the photos and everything was in wood. The bed looked like the ooziest place on Earth with thick fluffy blankets. “I love it.” Said Rowan stopping behind her and dropping his bags “You have good taste, Fireheart.” Aelin removed her shoes and ran to see the pool room. Once she got there she stopped “Rowan.” She shouted for his attention. He was at her side a moment later. “I have so many naughty ideas that you can’t imagine, Buzzard.” Rowan laughed and held her close “We’ll make sure to cover them all.” A soft kiss “Thank you for this. It’s the perfect birthday present.” She looked sternly in his eyes “No more hesitations.” Her finger wiggling in his face “This is our romantic getaway. We have snow and nature. All the conditions have been met. You promised.” He kissed her deeply and lifted her in his arms “I promised.”

They spent the afternoon outside. Aelin had convinced Rowan to do a snowman that now lived in front of their cottage. He took her out walking and they went for a very late lunch at the pie place in Lochinver. Eventually they got back to their accommodation and in the end they had a quiet afternoon and evening. Rowan had moved the big comfy chair in front of the window. She sat in his lap and they read for the rest of the day, watching the snow fall. Rowan was tired from the driving, he had done it before but the heavy snow made driving more challenging. so they had decided to relax as much as possible. It was later on that they decided to call it a night and Aelin smiled wickedly. She grabbed something from her suitcase and ran for the bathroom, locking the door. When she came out she noticed that Rowan was already in bed, reading. He finally noticed her and she loved his stunned face. She was wearing the most outrageous nightgown she had been able to find. It was black and lacy and covering very little of her body. Underneath she was wearing a flimsy lacy pair of lingerie leaving very little to the imagination. He had seen her naked already but she enjoyed the reaction. “What is that?” “Oh, I left Cookie Monster at home.” She said leaning sensually against the wall and she saw him straighten his back. “I thought this was more appropriate for the occasion.” Rowan got off the bed an in a couple of steps he was in front of her, staring down at her. She cupped his face and he covered her hand with his. For a moment it seemed like he was having an internal debate on what to do. Then in a swift motion he lifted her and he stopped in front of the fire and kissed her with a passion that sent Aelin reeling. “In front of a fire… is one my fantasies…” he told her in her ear. Aelin did not waste time and pulled him down on the plush carpet. The fireplace had a protective screen to prevent fire sparks to escape. In a house that was entirely made of wood, a fire would be a disaster. “Nice and toasty down here.” He hovered above her and her arms went around his neck. She pulled harder but he stayed where he was. “Patience. I am going to savour each minute of this night. I will not rush into this.” Aelin almost begged him. She didn’t want to wait. She needed him. But Rowan definitely had different plans. He gently lowered his body on hers making sure his weight was not crushing her. His hands trailed along her arms stopping at her wrists and pushing then her arms above her head. His mouth slanted on hers and with a keen tug of his mouth she opened for him. At the same time his hands began trailing back down again following her shapes and pausing at her hips. Rowan grabbed the hem of the nightgown and started lifting very slowly, taking great care in kissing every single bit of skin exposed. Aelin was on fire. She arched her back and moaned and the ache between her legs increased. He was barely touching her and she was ready to crack. The nightgown disappeared beyond her “For as much as I loved that nightgown of yours, I still prefer you naked.” And his mouth closed on one nipple, sucking, nibbling while the other hand was playing with the other one. Aelin shook and moved her hips to grind against him but he blocked her with his weight. She felt him hard against her and her hands landed on his back and nails definitely left marks. His tongue was doing devilishly things to her now hard peak and she pulled him even closer, inflicting more marks on his back. She squeezed her legs as she felt wetness spread and he had barely started. Oh, that wicked tongue of his was doing wonderful things and she imagined the same motions between her legs. The mere thought of his mouth on her was enough to make her moan. Gods, she was going to combust very soon. He lifted his gaze and stared at her. While never averting her stare he flicked her nipple with the tongue and in that instant one hand landed between her legs. Tempting, teasing, exploring. “Hmmm…” he had probably felt how ready she was. His mouth began its journey downward, kissing and licking and stopped at the band of her underwear. A black lacy piece of garment that covered very little. Teeth slowly lowered the garment “Lift.” She lifted her bum and allowed him to remove the piece of fabric. She was now bare in front of him. They had seen each other naked and they had explored each other bodies, but for some reason it still felt new. “You are stunning.” He breathed. His mouth landed on her inner thigh and from there he trailed down to her knee. He kissed the back of it and began his journey back with his tongue. The whole thing was mirrored on her other leg and Aelin almost whimpered. She placed her legs on his shoulder and he smiled as she spread her legs even more. He looked up to Aelin and saw her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. His face disappeared between her legs “So, so, needy for me.” He whispered against her centre. Her hips rolled in an invitation but his hands pinned her down. “I will take,” a kiss at the edge of her folds “my time,” a mirror kiss on the other side “one kiss,” his thumb repeated the motion “at a time.” The thumb followed the same path as the mouth. His tongue finally took a long lick of her and Aelin screamed at the feeling. Lick after lick she started saying his name like a prayer and she had no idea how much longer she could resist before she was going to shatter under his ministrations. “Ro —“ she could not finished the thought. One of his finger slid into her and his tongue hit again that one magic spot and another loud moan left her. A second finger slid in and Aelin screamed as he hooked them inside her, brushing that deep secret corner of hers. Gods the man had skills. The moan that escaped from her almost undid him. “Rowan, please—“ she begged him arching her hips to grind against his fingers. His thumb replaced his tongue at her apex and she was now whimpering, the sensation becoming almost too much to bear. His fingers were now pumping hard in and out of her and Aelin was glad they had no neighbours. Her body jerked and he felt her core tighten around him and he knew she was near. His pace picked up a bit more, tongue and fingers dancing to bring her pleasure. “Gods, Ro I—” and the world exploded around Aelin. Fire spread through her body, up her spine, down her legs as they jerked, shaken by the powerful climax he dragged out of her. She kept repeating his name in a whisper as her hips rocked riding her high until there was nothing left of her but a limp mess on the carpet. Her eyes closed and an expression of pure bliss on her face. Once he was satisfied he sat back on his haunches between her legs and when she caught his eyes he brought his fingers to his mouth and slowly licked them clean in a gesture that almost gave Aelin another orgasm. “Damn it Whitethorn, get down here and kiss me.” She was breathless and she was not sure her cognitive functions were fully back yet. “I love how you look right now.” She grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss and tasted herself on his lips “I think I have scratched you back.” “I don’t care,” he said softly kissing her neck “I’ll bare my scars with honour.” His hands sneaked under her shoulders and grabbed the side of her face kissing her gently. Aelin’s arms wound around his back again. He went back kissing her and his hips started rolling against her in a suggestive motion. He needed her badly. He wanted to claim her in the most intimate and wonderful of ways. “Why you are not naked yet, Whitethorn?” He smiled against her neck “I was otherwise occupied.” He pulled back and stood, finally removing his clothes one at a time with intended slowness. He was now standing towering over her all naked and she thought she could never tire of the view. She noticed his hardness and her mouth went dry at the view. He was magnificent. As a provocation she put her hand between her legs and could not believe that she was still so ready for him. “I don’t think so.” He kneeled and picked her up and once in his arms she wrapped around him. “Someone requested a wall, if I remember correctly.” His voice a mere whisper against her ear. She looked in his eyes and she had a feeling his control was hanging by a tether. The lust and desire in his them were enough to reignite the fire in her. While walking to a free side of the wall her hand slid between them and she grabbed him but he growled and slammed her back against the wardrobe “Stop it or we’ll never make it to the wall.” She teased him again and a moment later she felt her back slam against the wall, his hand behind her head in protection. His mouth was hard against hers. Another gentle brush of his tip with her thumb and his hips slammed into her “Fuck, Aelin.” She knew he had lost it as she had never heard him swear or even curse very mildly. Her hands trailed from his back and with a gentle caress she brushed his wide shoulders. She wanted to kiss every centimetre of his body. She slid down slightly until she felt his tip nudge her entrance and in response she angled her hips just enough to allow him easier access. Rowan groaned, burying his face in her neck and with gentle rolling thrusts he finally slid into her. She heard him mutter something in Gaelic and his mouth almost bit her on the neck. “Gods, Aelin this is—“ but he did not finished the sentence as he slid into her again with a bit more force this time. Rowan moaned. She felt perfect around him. She rolled her hips once again and Rowan pulled out and his thrusts became a bit harder. Aelin’s nails left more marks on his beautiful skin. He pulled out again and thrusted in once more adding again more force. He repeated the motion a few more times and Aelin pushed her hips forward to increase the contact with him. “I dreamed about this for a while. How it would feel to finally join with you.” His accent now thick once again and she desperately searched for his mouth. His hand gripped her butt so tight she will probably have bruises the next day but she could not care. His rhythm picked up and Aelin could feel her release building up in her core once again and she heard herself moan savagely as one of his thrusts hit her most sensitive spots. She was about to give in to another earth shattering orgasm when she noticed he was nowhere near close to his climax. Damn, the man was not joking when he said he had stamina. “Tha gaol agam ort.” he whispered to her, kissing her neck “Tha gaol agam ort.” he repeated it like a prayer. One of his fingers dipped between her legs and Aelin’s legs tightened around his back and this time she screamed as her climax built up to a point she knew she was going to combust in his arms. And when his mouth found her again and his tongue did devilish things to her, her release finally exploded and rippled through her body, shattering her. And as the savage release wrecked havoc in her body, she lost recollection of time and place and of her own name. The wild climax spread to her back and down to her toes making them tingle in pleasure. And when she felt like she could finally melt in his arms, she realised he was not done yet. His rhythm had picked up once more and she almost whimpered when she felt another orgasm built up pretty quickly right after the other one. “Shit, Rowan I—” and her mouth closed on his skin to muffle the scream that broke free from her while she reached her high a third time. Rowan grunted and his hand cupped her butt harder and finally, in one final powerful thrust he reached as well his release. His hips rocked until he was spent and Aelin went limp against him her chest rising up and down in a desperate need for oxygen. She heard him pant as well and for a moment, neither of them tried to move, him still deeply seated in her. He took a big gulp of air and then kissed her shoulder and then her mouth until his forehead rested against hers, his eyes now on hers. He was breathing hard. Aelin’s hands cupped his face “You look exhausted.” She kissed him gently. He shook his head “I am just—” another gulp of hair “I never felt like this before.” He pulled her closer into an embrace and pulled away from the wall. Slowly, his legs still shaking, he walked back to the bed and with gentleness he deposited her on it and leaned forward for a kiss. She pulled him down to her and once he was at her side she nestled against him. “ 's ann leatsa a tha mo chridhe gu brath” a shy kiss on her cheek “You said something similar at Callanish.” He shook his head “same thing.” “What does it mean?” Her hand splayed on his chest. “My heart is yours forever.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “Did you forgot your name?” His voice was soft and his accent still so very thick. “I did,” she chuckled. “I love your accent just now and while we were busy. It gets thick and it’s very sexy.” He nibbled at her ear and muttered something unintelligible in what she knew it was Gaelic. It was a song. He was definitely humming something. “What is it?” “S mi fo bhròn 's tu gam dhìth. Ged nach eil sinn fhathast pòsd’. Tha mi'n dòchas gum bi. Fhad' 's a mhaireas mo dhà dhòrn, Cha bhith lòn oirnn a dhìth.” Aelin’s eyes almost welled with tears. She caressed his face and he closed his eyes. “That was beautiful. Whatever it was it was…” he kissed her. “I am sorrowful without your company, although we are not married, I hope we will be. As long as I have my two hands, we will want for nothing.” He translated for her and then kissed her “The song is called Fair love of my heart. It’s the story of a lonely man and his tale about this woman he loves who then tells him her destiny is with him.” “I love you.” Her face leaned on his chest on his heart “I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.” Her hand twined in his. His arms went around her and he pulled Aelin on top of him. She smirked at him and kissed his mouth, dragging her tongue across his lips. Then her hand slipped down between his legs and she loved his expression morph into pleasure as she stroked him gently. With a couple of stroked of her hands he was almost hard again and Aelin appreciate the luck of having a man with stamina. “I guess is my turn now…” Her tongue trailed along his chest and disappeared under the thick blanket he had draped on top of them. “Aelin you—“ Rowan’s back arched and closed his eyes at the first feeling of her mouth on him.

When Aelin woke up she had the biggest smile on her face. She turned her head and noticed Rowan at her side. His arms as usual over her in a protective gesture. They were both still naked. They had fallen asleep not long after their lovemaking and clothes had been forgotten. The blankets were still at the bottom of the bed and she was freezing. The fire had died out and the heating hand’t gone on just yet. She grabbed the duvet and hid under them snuggling against Rowan. He was always warm. “Morning,” he told her kissing her deeply. She grinned back at him. “I love you,” he whispered and she kissed his nose. “I am cold.” Rowan laughed and got out of bed to switch on the heating. Then he looked at the clock and realised it was past nine in the morning. “I think we need breakfast.” He had said simply, as if he cooked naked every day. Aelin pulled herself up on her elbows and stared at him dreamingly as he gave his back to her. His glorious back side was rock hard and she had a mad desire to bite it, while caressing that wonderful broad back of his. Even just looking at his naked body was enough for heat to pool between her legs. Her mind went to what she did to him under the blankets or to their adventure against the wall and she almost moaned. “Are you okay?” He asked, half turning while preparing their breakfast. “Nothing.” She cleared her voice in hopefully a subtle way. She landed back on the bed and covered herself with the duvet. One hand went between her legs and she discovered she was super wet again. “Fuck.” She whispered. “What are you doing under the blankets like that?” And light hit her when she noticed he had pulled the duvet from over her and when Aelin looked up his eyes were wide and locked on her hand and what she was doing. “I… You…” her mouth could not form a proper sentence “It’s your fault, you walk around naked.” He laughed and lowered on her and kissed her hard and a hand joined hers. Aelin was about to remove hers “No, keep it there.” He said instead. His hand covered hers and they moved together until Aelin felt an orgasm rise very quickly. He moved faster until release came and he muffled her scream with a kiss. “Food is almost ready.” Was all he said as if nothing had happened and walked back to the kitchen. He came back a moment later with a bed tray and placed it on her lap. Then he did the same for him and sat down beside her. “Never had a sexy breakfast in bed before.” She took a bite of the food and she realised she was starving. “What, police guy never made you post sex breakfast?” He asked while drinking his coffee. Aelin scoffed “I am just realising that we didn’t have the most exciting sex life.” She confessed biting a piece of bacon “Maybe I really was the one who drove him to cheat on me. I have been asking myself if I actually really loved him. If I stayed with him just because it was easy.” She sighed and Rowan grabbed her hand without interrupting her “Before it went downhill he was a good man. And I guess I felt something, but now with hindsight, comparing it to what I feel for you, I realise that I never felt anything ever so powerful for Chaol.” She put her fork down “He was horrible in the end. It hurt. But I think I stopped caring for him before I served him with the divorce papers.” Rowan pulled her to his shoulder and kissed her head. “Sorry,” she apologised “We just had a wonderful morning and I am ruining everything by moping on my failed marriage.” Once they were done, Rowan took the trays with empty plates and placed them on the floor, then grabbed Aelin and he pulled her down in bed, her face to him and covered them both, cuddling tenderly. “Lyria and I probably had just one year of true happiness.” He confessed “Then talks of the Olympics started and I knew that all of a sudden she was more interested to be with me because of who I was. But I still felt something for her. I proposed like a fool, but some of my friends had told me it was a bad idea. After the accident I knew she was bored of me. But I ignored the signs I just kept her with me.” He kissed her forehead “We both had relationships that failed. Horribly.” He grabbed her hand and dragged it to his chest “But now all of that doesn’t matter anymore. We, you and I, matter now.” Aelin nodded. “Just you and I.” Then in a swift motion Aelin got off the bed and pulled the covers at the bottom of the bed. She had enough of moping and sad stories. They were there to have fun. “What are you doing, you menace?” “Remember the pool?… fancy some post breakfast swim?” She stared at him and sensually brushed her hand on her abdomen, while a finger almost reached between her legs. She definitely had his attention now. Rowan stood and a moment later she was in his arms, being carried bridal style. He walked with purpose to the back of their cottage where there was a small pool. The pool was slightly larger as Rowan was tall and probably over a meter and a half deep but she would take it. Rowan climbed down the steps and entered the water with her still in his arms. She climbed down and realised the water was warm and it felt spectacular on her body. She submerged and saw Rowan do the same. When she came up for air he was on his knees in front of her. He then moved to the side of the pool that was slanted allowing people to lean in the massive tub. Aelin stood and with her naked dripping body and walked until she stopped in front of him. She removed the band from her hair and undid the braid, shaking her head to free it. Rowan stared up at her and his stare turned predatory and when she looked down she noticed he was ready for her. She sat down and straddled him, her thighs just below his length. She leaned forward and nibbled at his lips and he moaned lightly. Aelin grabbed him in in her hand and Rowan gasped hard. Once she was sure he was really ready for her, Aelin fully straddled him and lowered on him with maddening slowness. He closed his eyes and his hands went to her hips. Half way through Aelin pulled up and she heard him growl and at that sound she seated hard on him, taking him all in, in one swift motion. “Aelin—“ but her mouth was on his before he could finish the sentence. “Pool sex, another one my fantasies…” she licked his neck and Rowan grabbed her hips harder and let her set the pace this time.

It was over an hour later when they were again a breathless mess in each other’s arms. The first time had been hard and fast, but the second time they had taken their time and it had been much gentler. So slow that he made her come four times. Rowan sat and she took her place between his legs and cuddled while watching the snow falling outside. They remained in the pool a little longer enjoying the view. Then Rowan pulled her out of the water. Aelin went back to the room and it dawned on her that it was late afternoon and they really had spent the whole day making love and in each other’s arms. They had dried themselves and she grabbed her nightgown still scattered on the floor but Rowan stopped her. “No clothes allowed.” He kissed her. “Who am I to complain?” And she threw the garment back on the floor with the rest of their clothing. “We can have a late lunch if you are hungry.” She gently bit his shoulder while her hand cupped his butt “Hungry for you, always.” He laughed and went to the kitchen. “I was not joking, Buzzard.” She sat on the bench near the table crossed her legs and pushed her chest out “We should be naked at home as well.” He had his head buried in the fridge and turned to her “If we do that we risk never leaving the house ever again and we both have jobs.” “Spoilsport.” She stood and walked around the room swaying her hips. “You really are a menace.” An hour later Rowan had managed to put together a meal and they finally sat on the bench at the table. Aelin’s legs extended on his. In response to the provocation, Rowan had decided to eat his meal with one hand since the other one had been buried between Aelin’s legs. Once she was done eating she lowered her legs at each side of the bench opening for him. “Are you going to do something or not?” She teased him. Rowan accepted the challenge and ten minutes later Aelin lay on the bench breathless and with his name on her lips. Once they were done, and Aelin recovered she stood and cleared the dishes from the table then went back to him. She climbed on the table and sat down in front of him, her legs on both side of him. She spread them wide and leaned backwards a bit. She licked one of her fingers and briefly touched herself knowing he will enjoy the sight. “Wicked, wicked woman.” He stood and in a second his finger was in her “I guess I can have dessert tonight.” A second later Rowan had gripped her and flipped her on her stomach and bent her over the table. He had feasted on her and after that he had taken her from behind and Aelin was again very glad they had no neighbours.

By they time they got back to their bed Aelin was exhausted. “I think we will need a holiday to recover from this holiday.” She leaned back against Rowan’s chest and grabbed her book. Eventually they had decided to take a break and relax with some reading. “Hm.” Said Rowan who was all intent on reading his book. One hand up to eye level holding the book, the other in her hair, playing with it “You should have dried your hair better.” He said in his usual protective tone, and then went back to his book.

When Aelin woke up the next morning she felt like death. She had a splitting headache and was shivering from the cold. She snuggled as much as possible against Rowan and groaned in pain. “Hey,” he said when he felt her shiver. “I am so cold.” “The heating is on. I put it on a timer.” He drew her closer and noticed that Aelin was uncharacteristically warm. His mouth was on her forehead and he felt she was burning. “You are running a fever.” He got up and went to the bathroom to see if they had a medicine cupboard. Quickly he grabbed his clothes and got dressed, and raised the heating a notch. A moment later he sat on the bed beside her “I am going to the village to the pharmacy.” “I am fine…” she croaked. “You are not fine.” He kissed her forehead. “Be careful, please. The snow.” “I will be very careful.” He left and Aelin buried herself under the blankets.

Rowan was back a while later from his trip to the pharmacy and found Aelin hiding and shivering under the duvet. “Hey,” he pulled the blankets back and noticed she was still naked. He swore and ran to her suitcase to see if he could find clothes more useful than her flimsy nightgown. He sighed relieved when he found her Cookie Monster pyjama. “Aelin,” she groaned in reply. He pulled her up to a seated position and started pulling clothes back on her. Once she was ready he put her down again and covered her. He removed his winter clothes and got back to his more comfortable house slacks and then began looking after her. He had bought a thermometer and first of all checked her temperature and his worry increased when the digital screen told him 39C. He took the medicines and followed the instructions the pharmacist had given him. He placed a wet towel on her forehead. “Aelin,” “Hmm.” “I need you to take these. They will help to lower the fever.” Gently he helped her sit up a bit and she took the pills and then the water he offered. “Good.” Once she was lying down again he went to plan two. He filled one of his water bottles and placed on her bedside table so that she could drink as much as possible, then went back to the kitchen and started making soup. Carrot and coriander was light and easy and he knew Aelin loved it. An hour later the soup was ready and exactly as she liked it. He poured the contents in a bowl and walked the the bed and placed it on the nightstand. “Can you eat something for me? I made you soup.” “Which one?” She muttered, eyes half open. “Carrot and coriander.” “My favourite.” “I know.” He smiled and then grabbed his pillow and helped her sit up. “Everything hurts…” she complained. “You have a high fever. It’s normal.” He set the wet towel aside for now and kissed her forehead. Then sat in front of her and grabbed the bowl. He tasted a spoonful to check whether it was too hot. “Come on.” She complained that she could feed herself but he was in full fussing mode and there was no way to deter him and she had no strength to fight him. Spoon by spoon she ate the full bowl and Rowan smiled proudly. Once he was done he helped her again to lie down and tucked her in. Finally he moved the big chair near her side. He grabbed a book and plopped down, stretching his legs on the bed. With one hand he held the book, with the other he held her hand. He stared at her until she fell asleep then went back to his books.

Aelin woke up later in the evening. She turned and was disappointed in finding the other side of the bed empty. She sat up and noticed Rowan still on the chair at her side. He was sleeping and had a book on his lap. Then her gaze turned to the nightstand and noticed a thermometer and pills and she remembered. She had waken up with a savage fever and he had looked after her. She felt a bit better but the dull headache was still there and some aches as well. She took her temperature and noticed it was still in the low 38C. She took more medicines then her stomach growled. She was starving. With shaky legs she left the bed and noticed she had Cookie Monster pyjama on. She smiled. Then grabbed Rowan’s hoodie and put it on as well and went to the kitchen. She grabbed some bread to be toasted and went to the fridge for her jam and grabbed as well the large bottle of orange juice that Rowan must have bought. Caffeine was definitely a bad idea. She was eating happily when she heard Rowan approaching. “Aelin?” “Kitchen.” She said. “What are you doing out of bed?” He sat on the bench beside her. “I was starving.” “You could have woken me up.” He brushed her hair with his hand and touched her forehead “You are still warm.” “I know. But I need food.” “Go back to bed and I will bring it to you.” Fine, let him fuss. He was so adorable. Five minutes later he was carrying a tray with a plate with a few slices of bread with jam, a couple of his oatmeal biscuits and orange juice. Aelin protested at the biscuits but he said that she had to eat light and her ones were not approved yet. “Too much time outside in the snow, then the pool and then you did not dry your hair properly. That’s what you get.” And kissed her nose tenderly. “I ruined our getaway.” “No, you didn’t.” He smiled “At least you got sick after.” And he laughed. They spent the rest of the day in bed, then they had taken a warm bath together but Rowan was adamant in avoiding any illicit activity. And then he was the one who dried her hair complaining that she did a bad job the day before and got ill. That night they sat in the big chair, Aelin on his lap and a thick blanket around them and watched outside the window. Rowan’s app alerted him of a possibility of Northern Lights and the sky was clear. They had switched off all the lights in the cottage and were now waiting patiently. She was about to fall asleep when Rowan nudged her and pointed at the window. Aelin gasped in amazement and snuggled closer to him. Together and in silence they held each other and stared at the magnificent show outside.

Two days later it was time to go back home and Aelin was sad. Their getaway had been perfect. Even with her illness they had a wonderful time. “We just have to come back.” He said kissing her cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.” “I will always take care of you.” They locked the door behind. Returned the keys and got back in their car. And home they went. To their adventure.

[urimaginespimp]

Michael Gray: Better Man pt 15

Olivia thinks back to the moment before Ada left to go home. They were both just lounging by the couch, talking about what she had missed back home. Not that Michael had fill her with it already, just that there is no more detailed narration than from Ada herself. Hell, even when she wasn't around that much in the family meetings, Poll doesn't fail to tell her everything.

"You are so lucky, Livy." Ada smiled at her.

"Now what does the princess of Birmingham herself doesn't have that I don't?" She teased.

Cringing that Olivia called her something her brothers would use to mock her, she hit her with a throw pillow. "I'm serious, Livy." She said, sitting straighter this time. "You and Michael have what Freddie and I have always wanted - a normal life."

Taking Ada's hand, she gave it a slight squeeze. "I'm sorry, Ads. I know how much you wanted to move away."

"I do still miss him, and I'll always will. But what happened can't be undone and I've come into terms with it. I'm just glad that at least the only person I consider as a sister could have it."

"I don't know how long though." Olivia opened up. Because as close as they are, they were also opposites in some ways. Ada wants the simple, quiet life, she's always liked a thrilling one. That's part of the reason why she misses Birmingham more than she probably should.

There has been a long running joke in the family that they were actually switched at birth. The first time Ada went to her first dance was the first time Olivia was thought how to handle a gun. Sure, she wasn't the violent kind, but she couldn't deny how she enjoyed being part of a growing empire.

"You can take a girl away from Birmingham, but you can't take away the Brummie in her." Ada said, shaking her head, chuckling. "But I don't know, Livy. Sometimes we are at our happiest when we are in a peaceful environment."

She was about to answer, when the front door had opened.

"The service is ready outside." Michael announced, the moment he came into the apartment.

--------

It had been three weeks, and to say that Michael and Olivia's relationship was doing well was an understatement. Sleeping together, sharing kisses, actually being closer. She recalls a time when things got to heated, but it was Michael himself who diffused the situation and declared that it wasn't the time yet.

She could go as far to say that what they have now is better than what they had before everything went south. Maybe it's because they're older now, or maybe it's because they're away from the chaos brought upon by their jobs back in Birmingham.

Just the two of them, living like two normal adults. Going on constant date nights, actually getting more comfortable with being more acquainted with her clients instead of the solid business approach she gave them, having a third opinion in conversations she has with Ginny, and having their own personal freedom together.

She was now getting ready for the gala. Sitting down in front of her vanity dresser, wrapped in her silk robe, still trying to perfect her makeup.

Maybe what Ada had wanted isn't as boring as she thought it would be.

But what about Michael? Would he want stay here with her? She already had an inkling to his answer.

She was just about to put on her lipstick when Michael called for her outside.

"Yes, Michael?" She approached him. He was in the living room, looking for something. Checking vases, behind the couch, and cabinet drawers.

"I can't find my lighter luv." He answered, still busy looking.

"Oh? What would you need it for?" She asked, confused.

"Just in case I get the jitters being around people I don't know."

"I'll be right back." She knew where it was. The last time he smoked was when they were both getting back from a night out in town together. It was really chilly outside and he had given her his coat and opted to smoke to keep himself warm, and he had actually put the lighter back inside the pocket of the coat after using.

It was hung together with her rack of clothes. Putting her hand in the pocket she remembers where it was placed in, she felt the cold material of his lighter inside. Pulling it out, she saw that something fell out the moment her hand was out of the pocket.

A rolled small piece of paper on the floor. Picking it up, she opened to see what it contained.

2Br Midtown Manhattan

Don't fucking step a foot back in here if you can't get her to come with you.

- T. S.

It was her address, probably written for him so he'd knew where to find her. But the note below it...

Confusion. That was all that she felt. She just had been sitting down on the edge of her bed, just staring at the note as if the longer she'd look at it, she'd feel better.

This was no doubt Thomas' handwriting. She'd worked with him too many times to recognize it anywhere. What was written was clear and easy to decipher. But what was bringing her into confusion was everything that has happened the moment Michael came to New York.

She is his ticket. Was everything that had happened even real? Or just part of his ploy so he could go back home?

So that was why he was so eager to fix everything between them. Fucking Michael Gray.

And what in the hell was Thomas thinking dragging her into such bull?! Wasn't he the same one who actually helped her settle in here?

As mad as she was at the moment, she couldn't help a lone angry tear from spilling.

Why do the men in this family always think that they could play god? They think they could just ruin someone's life and have a free conscience as long as they don't see the aftermath.

She was hurt, but more so, mad.

I'll bring you the fuck home, myself.

Pulling herself back together, she got up and went back to her vanity dresser to fix herself.

With new found strength, she decided to go through with tonight. She needed to be in the good graces of her clients because when she gets back here alone again, she'll need them.

She had just finished dressing up and was just now checking that everything was in place.

"Luv are you ready?" Michael called from downstairs. Him calling her that almost made her skin crawl. He's too natural at it that she was almost disgusted with herself for actually falling for it.

Taking one last look in the mirror, she went out of her room, note and lighter in hand. Walking down the stairs, Michael was already at the bottom of it, waiting for her with a grin. One she didn't bother returning.

When she was at the last step, she stopped so they could be level with each other. Michael was in a dark suit with a maroon tie, and his hair was styled.

What a handsome prick.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He commented, looking at her with total admiration.

"You don't look bad, yourself." She shrugged.

"Are you alright?" Michael asked her, confusion written on his face.

She extended her hand that had the note and lighter and placed it on his.

"I found your lighter." She coldly answered and went pass him.

Having realized that she had read the note when he saw it on his palm, he tried to get her attention. "Livy, I-"

"You have a lighter but you couldn't burn that one down? Has John not taught you about burning evidences?" She scoffed at him.

"Believe me, I wanted to tell you about Thomas' terms." He explained.

"Sure, you did. But I bet it's when we're actually already back in Birmingham so I could go back here alone. Typical Michael Gray."

They were both just looking at each other with intense gazes. Her, mad at what he's done, Him mad that she'd actually think that low of him.

"Let's just go, Michael."

The ride to the gala was pretty intense. They were both seated beside each other but not uttering a word. But both of them could feel how mad the other was.

Mr. Harry Coleman was his typical self - loud, funny, with a stomach as round as an expecting mother. Greeting guests with him was his son Luke, the same lad who personally handed her the invitation.

When the Coleman men saw them, both making their way in the venue, they approached them with pleased faces. "Ah, Miss Peterson!" Harry exclaimed.

"Mr. Coleman..." She greeted him. "Luke." She acknowledged his son who took her hand in his to give it a kiss.

"It's good to see your friend again." Luke smiled nodding at Michael who already had a burning gaze at him.

"Michael. Michael Gray." He introduced himself to both men, shaking their hands.

"Well I hope you both enjoy yourselves. It's such a pleasure to have you both here." The old man smiled at them.

When both men finally excused themselves to go greet other guests, she turned to Michael.

"I see empty seats." She told him, already heading to the table.

They were both seated next to each other, with a lady to his left, and a man to her right who both appear to be in their late 40s. They both noted how the lady and the man appeared to be in a bad mood, and were constantly stealing glances at each other.

"I'm sorry ma'am, did I happen to sit where that man on my companion's right should be?" He whispered to the lady.

"Well yes, but I don't want him to be." She answered, stealing another glance at the man, and took a sip of her drink.

On Olivia's side, the man also happened to strike a conversation with her. "She looks beautiful, huh?" He asked her quietly enough that the lady wouldn't hear.

"Do you know her?" She asked him.

"Mmmhm. I happen to be married to her."

"Uh, would like to switch seats with him?" She asked pointing to Michael.

"Nah, she needs her time. She's quite mad at me right now. I insisted to buy her dress for tonight, and when she finally unwrapped it, it was two sizes small." He explained, shaking his head at himself.

"You men, and your expectations for us women. I gave him two beautiful children, and he still expects me to fit in my old dress size?" The lady who had finally introduced herself to him as Monica, ranted to Michael.

But back on Olivia's side, the man was also explaining his end.

"I bought it all because I thought that it would look absolutely beautiful on her. It was my bad for not asking for the right size. I was too dazed imagining her in it. Now she won't talk to me because she thinks I'm trying to make her lose weight" Olivia was just listening to him, nodding along and thinking why the lady didn't bother listening to him explain.

"Did you tell that to her?" She asked him.

"Believe me, I tried. She doesn't want to talk to me at the moment."

"What was his excuse?" Michael asked. Monica couldn't answer that because she didn't let him explain.

"He doesn't need to. I got the message. I'm not as desirable as before." She answered accidentally loud enough that her husband actually heard it this time.

The man looked so offended, Olivia and Michael almost laughed at his face.

"Would you mind switching seats with me, mister? I need to talk to my wife and it cannot wait." He asked when he finally recovered.

"Not at all. I was just about to ask my date for a dance." He stood up and offered his hand to Olivia.

Wanting to give the couple time to talk, she took his offer and stood up.

A slow tune was being played by the band, and they were both just swaying together to it, not speaking, and stubborn to even make eye contact despite the physical contact.

It's disappointing to think that just yesterday they were a hundred percent happy. And tonight, was supposed to be the same moment she has decided that she's ready to tell him she loves him back. Now she isn't even sure if his were even real every time he said it.

I have every right to be mad too. Michael thought to himself. Yes, Tommy instructed him to win her back before he could be allowed back home, but it's not like he didn't want to, he just needed the address.

Looking back to the table where the couple was, he saw that they were now both smiling fondly at each other, probably made up already after she heard his side of the story.

He wanted that too. Yes, he wanted to go home, but he wanted to do so with her. But what does she want?

The entire duration of the party, they weren't arguing, but how could they when they weren't even talking? It was made slightly bearable when they got back to their seats, where Monica and her husband were now in happier moods and started talking to them all night.

When they were outside waiting for their service car, Michael looked at her. Olivia seemed to be in deep thought when she finally stared back and sighed.

"I'll go back with you to Birmingham." She told him,

"You don't have to, I don't want to force you."

"You're not. I miss home and our family. And if that means that you could get home sooner, I don't see why we shouldn't go there immediately tomorrow." She said sternly.

It stung him when she told him that. But he understands why she wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"I'll explain when you're ready to listen." He answered.

Home it is.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 3x10--The One About the End of the World

I did it, I wrote recaps for all of season 3. 

Oooh, this ep starts off with the credits.

This is the season 3 finale, but it’s not written by the Kings. Maybe they were busy with Evil at this point? As I’ve mentioned before, Evil is very good. I am NOT a fan of horror, but Evil works for me for several reasons. If you haven’t seen it, you might be imagining it’s full of jumpscares and gore. It certainly has its fair share of jumpscares and gore, but they’re not the point. The show’s definition of evil isn’t just demons… it’s radicalized misogyny and slavery and racial inequalities. And, as you might expect from a show written by the Kings, evil manifests itself in misuses of technology quite frequently. 

Honestly, I think I laugh more than I cover my eyes while watching. And, to be clear, I laugh because the show is funny. It’s quirky and bizarre, serious enough to be dramatic but light enough to be watchable.

It’s also got a central myth-arc (way more serialized and puzzlebox-y than TGW/TGF/Braindead) that’s as complicated as you want it to be. If you want to look for the hidden puzzle pieces (literal puzzle pieces!) you can. If you want to be an attentive but univested viewer, you’ll be able to follow the arc just fine. The arc itself is pretty simple and the Kings use recurring guest stars to build a web that pays off over the course of the season. So if you’re used to following a TV show with lots of guest stars-- and you all are, since you’re viewers of TGF-- the mytharc isn’t going to demand a lot of effort to follow. 

Speaking of guest stars, you WILL recognize at least one familiar face per episode. And if you pay attention to the credits, you’ll recognize the names behind the scenes, too. I love it when showrunners collaborate with the same people over and over-- it makes me think they’re good to work with and look out for their friends. 

Just finishing up the most recent season of Younger before I jump into writing this and there was a Liza/Charles scene giving me MAJOR Alicia/Peter in Death of a Client vibes, mostly because of her hairdo. Then I realized: both scenes were DEFINITELY filmed in the same place. I love it. 

Confession: I don’t actually remember anything about this ep, except for the very end.

Kurt was working from home! He was prepping for 2020.

Oh we saw Julius leave the firm to become a judge? And here I thought it was a spoiler he was in a robe in the s4 trailer.

There is talk of making Lucca a partner! Yes! There’s also discussion of someone named Rosalyn, who I’m sure is great but also, have you met Lucca Quinn? But in all seriousness, if the writers want me to truly believe there’s another associate who can rival Lucca, they have to show it to me.

I do believe the partner who says Rosalyn would be better for the culture of the firm than Lucca, though. Lucca hasn’t shown herself to be that invested in getting to know her colleagues (aside from the two white girls), and I think (not sure though) Rosalyn is the one we’ve seen speaking up the last several episodes. 

Jay is going to dig into Book Club more, and I cannot wait until this is gone.

Cookies shouldn’t have photorealistic faces on them. 

Did they REALLY hire white guys for the mailroom because that consultant said to?

There is a very angry former client of RBL asking for more money from Julius. Blum put him up to it. Go away, Blum! 

Now there’s a lawsuit to make it seem like RBL is exploiting all the police brutality victims they’re represented. This is part of Blum’s plot.

Diane accidentally answers a call from Marissa, so Marissa gets to hear all the gossip about salaries and partnerships.

Now there’s weird lightning. Not in the clear yet! 

Oh RIGHT, there was that FaceTime defect. I forgot about it. 

Lucca doesn’t want to know what Marissa heard, but she’s happy to hear more once Marissa’s started the conversation. 

Is it possible for a man to say “ladies, we’ll get to you” in a work setting without sounding sexist? I don’t think it is.

Casually sexist judge likes Blum. 

Oh hello Maia. Blum says Maia became “disgusted and quit” after seeing RBL’s methods. Well, that’s a lie. You’d know it was a lie even if we hadn’t seen Maia get fired, because in order for Maia to know the firm’s methods she would have to do work. (OKAY I WILL STOP BUT THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE WHERE I CAN MAKE JOKES AND I’M GONNA MISS MY PUNCHING BAG A LITTLE BIT)

Maia is using her mom’s name and carrying the portfolio Diane gave her, just to throw Diane off.  

Diane confronts her about it and asks if this is retribution. Maia says it’s just “lawyering.”  Maia could have gone to any other firm-- like, even Canning’s firm-- and I would’ve thought she had a point. I would say trying to throw Diane off is mean but no worse than what others have done. But Blum is so hateful and malicious Maia has no ground to stand on. 

Maia says she’s coming after RBL because they’ve done wrong. She sounds like she’s convinced herself-- or maybe she’s gotten that good at lying. (It is telling that so many former clients would be willing to join this suit, though-- Maia isn’t wrong about that)

Show title spoken alert!

I am pretty sure the Diane/Maia scene right there is one I would have ripped Diane to shreds for if it had been her vs Alicia, and Blum wasn’t involved, because Maia’s being very practical (Blum is out to screw you; I am here for the clients) and Diane is on her high horse. Hell, maybe I’d even take Maia’s side if we got Blum out of the picture. But I hate him. And Maia’s on this case because Blum said so. She’s running his firm and working with all his clients; this one just happens to have a way to spin as doing good. 

Kurt has to intro 45 and is drafting a speech. Diane doesn’t know yet, so she thinks his scribbled “the last two years have been amazing/brought me a new optimism” are about her. She finds out the real meaning for the scribbles and leaves the room.

Blum’s here again. I hate him. 

Also RBL may have caught Blum and turned him in to the ACDB but Blum got disbarred all on his own by doing disbarrable shit repeatedly and knowingly. 

Lightning balls. Weird. 

Lucca asks Jay how she’s thought of. I feel like if you have to ask that question you’re probably not thought of as an integral part of the culture. This is a smart thing to show as Lucca’s weak spot. She’s never liked making friends. Lucca also worries she’s “not black enough” for the firm.

“Everyone likes you. Just, a lot of the associates think you never hang out,” Jay says. “So it’s high school? I don’t care about being popular. Who has time to hang out?” Lucca responds. That’s the problem, right there! Maybe this isn’t such a thing at RBL, but where I work, the partners always make a point of greeting everyone, sticking around at happy hours, etc. Part of their job is to create the culture. RBL doesn’t seem to have that culture, but I absolutely understand why some of the partners want it to. 

And the “not black enough” comment is coming at least in part from Lucca’s tendency to surround herself with all the white characters when she does socialize. 

“I do not have to prove myself to anyone, or perform what they think black should look like. This is 2019. I’m not playing this stupid fucking game,” Lucca responds. She’s right, I think, but I would also be curious to hear other perspectives. This situation feels pretty nuanced to me in that I think it can simultaneously be true that Lucca can act however she wants and shouldn’t be judged or typed for it AND that there’s a somewhat strong case against Lucca as a partner because of her engagement with her coworkers.

Does the fact that I like Evil!Maia so much mean I secretly liked Maia all this time??? 

Jay asks Marissa to help him create more diverse happy hours. And then it’s time for them to confront Book Club. Jay’s got some intel on Rochelle, who’s legit enough to have done polling for Eli. Overcharging a client 30% for a focus group seems like maybe not a big enough deal to blackmail someone with, but Jay tries!

Rochelle isn’t having it and tells Jay and Marissa, basically, that she’s going to escalate things. 

Oh there are very many guns in Diane and Kurt’s bedroom suite thing. 

Diane winds up writing Kurt’s speech for him by bullshiting. Kurt knows it’s bullshit. Diane’s writing a parody but it’s also not parody at all. “A parody but it’s also not parody at all’ is also true of the mindfuck that’s been the last four years. 

Jay ends up doing drawings of cartoon animals to be used in court because the judge can’t understand anything complicated. One cartoon is Judy Giraffe, who may share a name with the toy Andrew Wiley’s kids had in late season 6 (but I’m too lazy to look it up and see if I’m right about that).

This also may just be Zootopia. 

LOL there’s ASMR happening now. I could explain why but it’s more fun if I don’t. 

This scene is hilariously over the top. 

Maia was 12 in 2000. I feel like that’s inconsistent with other timelines we’ve been given but whatever. 

Lucca awkwardly tries to socialize. Lucca immediately misspeaks by saying she thinks Obama probably wished that for one day he didn’t have to be “the black president” and her colleagues freeze up and push back.

Marissa then shows up and the scene ends. Awkward. 

Now Blum’s hired actors to be disruptive in court. Ridiculous. I hate Blum. That said, this isn’t really any lower than Diane’s ASMR shenanigans. 

Blum is singing now, goodbye. 

I FORGOT ABOUT THE CORRUPT JUDGE ADRIAN WAS FUCKING.

So much COTW in this ep. Remember how it used to have meaning when the regulars got called to the stand? Like, I know this is technically character driven drama but it’s nowhere near as engaging as last episode’s internal investigations.

Rosalyn comes into Lucca’s office: she knows they’re up for the same partnership, and understands that’s why Lucca came to drinks. Rosalyn was informed by one of the partners, and as much as I like Lucca, Rosalyn is making quite a good case for herself by handling herself so professionally here. She comes to Lucca once she realizes the partners are pitting them against each other, “because that’s what people do to the black girls.” I want to hear more of what Rosalyn is about to say, but she’s cut off by BALL LIGHTNING. What the fuck? Now the power is out. 

Rosalyn thinks it’s the end times. The red skies do suggest that. Lucca is unconvinced. 

Diane pays Maia a visit. “So, you got what you wanted. A corner office,” Diane says. Had Maia expressed this wish? Or is Diane mocking her?

Maia says she knows what she’s getting with Blum, and “sometimes that’s better.” She isn’t wrong. But it’s BLUM. 

Diane offers Maia her job back. No, PARTNERSHIP at RBL. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s hilarious enough in isolation, but the thought of Maia getting partnership over Lucca or Rosalyn (who both seem very deserving) makes it even worse. I think half of their staff would quit if Maia was made partner. 

It’s more money and Maia is skeptical. She (wisely) guesses that she’d be forced out after six months, but Diane (has she talked to any of the other partners about this?) says that wouldn’t happen. “You’re trying to buy me out of my case,” Maia FINALLY realizes. Well, I guess it makes sense she’d believe she was actually deserving of a partnership after two years of half working. 

Diane says it’s also because she impressed Adrian. Lol, okay. If that’s what it takes to make the suit go away.

Maia says she’ll think about it and asks Diane if it’s weird that they’ve ended up in this spot. Diane says yes and smiles.

Blum overheard the whole thing, naturally. He tells Diane that Maia won’t go with her. Now he is singing. Why is he singing. Why won’t he stop singing.

Liz does not like that Adrian and Corrupt Judge are friends. Why is Corrupt Judge here?

Diane watches Kurt awkwardly avoid clapping while standing directly behind 45. It is very funny and Diane enjoys it. Kurt is then removed from the audience, which leads Diane to say “Kurt, my God, I love you.” The incident makes the news almost instantly.

This Good Fight short has the characters in it. I imagine there’s a non-zero chance we get an animated, musical S4 wrap up given that they had to halt production. 

It’s weird there’s a short that says the season is over, followed by another scene.

Lucca and Marissa discuss how Maia got the partnership offer. Why would Diane or any of the partners let that slip?! “Two black girls are up for the job and they give it to the white girl,” Lucca says. Marissa’s surprised she’s not angry, but Lucca explains-- she knows Maia’s not going to take it. Marissa thinks Maia will, but Lucca understands that Maia’s moved on. 

Lucca no longer cares about the partnership because she’s realized “the best thing is to not care.” It’s almost like she was friends with Season 7 Alicia, who said this like twice an episode. 

Then Marissa and Lucca drop acid in the office because the world is ending, I guess. 

Didn’t the s1 finale also do this end of the world thing? A less apocalyptic version.

I think this Diane and Adrian scene may be a callback to that finale.

Diane posits that love and hope will get us through the endtimes.

Aaaah the case is still happening but I’m SO CLOSE to being done with season 3. I still love what TGF is doing, but its central devices and plots for season 2 worked so much better.

RBL wins! Diane notes that Maia hasn’t responded to their offer. Does that mean someone is still considering giving Maia a fucking partnership even though the case is closed? HA. 

Maia points this out and Diane insists they really want Maia home. This is probably the worst judgment I’ve ever seen Diane have? She wants to bring her goddaughter who is three years out of law school on as a partner at her firm, OVER two extremely qualified black women? Even if Maia were truly the best lawyer ever, the optics alone are bad enough to make Maia a terrible choice.

Maia decides, instead, to head for D.C. with Blum. She gets in an elevator and sucks on a fentanyl lollipop, which, sure, why not? I think they offer her partnership purely so we the viewers can see she’s choosing to emulate Blum and she likes it. 

BYE BLUM!!!!!!!!!! BYE MAIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won’t really miss either of you, but also, what am I going to write about when I can’t complain about Maia? 

And we’re back in the opening moments of the premiere, which, as it turns out, were a flashforward to this moment in which Kurt and Diane get SWATted seconds after Diane announces she’s happy and Kurt asks what could go wrong. I hope they’re both ok because I won’t be able to deal if they do anything to Kurt. (Or Diane but I’m less concerned about them killing her off lol.)

That’s a wrap! 

[trashforcaptainlevi101]

Misogyny in the Anime Community

I can’t even really believe that I have to type this shit but I guess life is full of surprises. Follow my trip down a fucking gigantic shithole. 

THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND IM SORRY. BUT PLEASE READ IT. IN MY OPINION IT IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER. DONT IGNORE DAILY HARASSMENT OF WOMEN ONLINE. 

Since I’m a very sociable girl and I love Anime and I love love love the Tumblr-Anime-Community (except for some minor things but nothing’s perfect y’know) and so I decided to join some local Facebook-Anime-Groups. 

I was happy to gain new information about Anime and I was willing to throw myself into heated discussions about my favorite characters and shows. What I got instead was a shitbunch of misogyny and hatred towards “realistic female characters” that didn’t act like the **waifuuu** these guys wanted so badly. 

From the start I haven’t been as active in this groups as I was here on Tumblr. I didn’t interact as much even though I really tried to get into it something just put me off. Firstly, this was a men dominated group - like 85% AT LEAST were guys in their late teens up to early twenties and they all loved some good smashes in Anime and some hot girls with super big tits (there were even polls about which Anime girls more dudes would like to fuck or something). That was something that I could tolerate - I mean who am I to judge right? I, myself love me some hot pics of my favorite Anime boys and girls so no problem right? 

Unfortunately not. Most of the comments in these section were about what this men would do to this girl if they could have their way with her and I tell you what: these men are fucking disgusting. Actually using the word “rape” and “Taking advantage of” etc. in this context is in my opinion not okay. Especially when there are minors in this group (their parents probably failed to keep them under check because this group is not for minors). 

I still don’t know why I didn’t immediately leave the group (probably because there were like 5 good posts per month or because I wanted a daily reminder of how shitty men can be - of course not all men and women too!) 

Today I was refreshing my facebook page when said group popped up with a picture of one of my favorite Anime - NANA by Ai Yazawa. If you’re not familiar with it and don’t want to be spoiled then skip the next paragraph (I’ll try to not really spoil the plot only the relevant things? idk). 

NANA is a slice-of-life Anime about two girls named Nana, but one of them is frequently called Hachi and I’ll refer to her as Hachi. It’s a very mature and in my opinion realistic Anime and Manga when it comes to the plot and the actions of the characters. And the two female main characters - god forbid - have sex. Nana - presumably - has Sex with only one guy. Hachi on the other hand has sexual intercourse with a few different men. Which is okay and normal - HA! That’d what actual intelligent people would say, but not the dudes from this group. 

This one guy decided to watch NANA and I still don’t know how he even thought it would be a good idea to watch it because it’s about female empowerment and about finding your own path in this world as a girl and about even more but it always comes down to: females. 

And what happened to be popping up on my facebook page was this (I added ugly translations but so all of you understand): 

At first I had to google what “Sharmuta” even means, but at first look I knew it wouldn’t be something like “brave young woman”. I looked it up and - surprise - it means slut, skank, hoe, hooker, whatever term you prefer. You get it. 

Not only is NANA my most treasured Anime/Manga, I’m also a girl who hates being told how to live my life. Especially when I’m told by men who 1. don’t know me 2. think women should hide in the kitchen learning recipes until their unknown husband picks them up to get them pregnant. Ok that was a little over the top but you know what I mean. 

Naturally I felt attacked. I felt attacked because this is one of the works I truly admire and because the reason I love it so much is because of the complex and realistic relationships. I love that it’s not this “ugh I’m a virgin waiting for my prince”-trope. I love that there are female characters who embrace their sexuality and needs because that’s what I struggled with for so long. It portrays strong women who make mistakes (like everyone does) but they stand up for themselves and they own their mistakes and learn to live with them in the best way possible. It helped me find peace with my body and mind and showed me that it’s okay to live as you please. You don’t need to be ashamed of anything and the last thing you should be ashamed of is who and how you love and that it’s not shameful to enjoy sex or anything involved with sex. It’s okay for women to still their sexual needs. 

So - of course I had to speak up. I think I knew from the beginning that this would be useless but I just felt so infuriated that a men can openly slutshame a character that stands for female empowerment (correct me if I’m wrong, but this was my feeling?). 

FROM HERE ON I’LL POST THE TRANSLATION UNDER THE PIC BC OF SIZE REASONS AND I DONT WANT ANYONE TO THINK I MANIPULATED WHAT I OR HE SAID so whatever

Cucumber Guy: ok ...

Star Girl (me): I had to look this word up on google and the definition I found (slut) is - in my opinion - 100% not fitting. I’m sorry, but to call a girl who enjoys her sexuality and tries different things a slut is just wrong imo. What makes NANA such a masterpiece are the realistic dynamics and constellations between the characters and the lack of perfection. Hachi is not a slut and to call her that just shows your strange view of women. Of course, everyone can do as they like - but in this time and age it is so important to support girls in their decisions and to not always degrade them and question their every move. Stop slutshaming (even if it’s only a fictional character) : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: This text only shows me that you can identify with her as a charcter ... maybe you even feel like I was talking to you but sorry - a person like this (with such a foul character) is nothing you can make appear good 

Mr-Know-It-All: Nothing but the truth. 

Star Girl (me): to be honest I expected something like this as an answer. I think it’s horrifying how much misogyny hides behind your words and is something that’s completely unnecessary in todays society. Reality will get to you soon enough and you’ll realize that women have needs and there is no reason for you to judge that. Because I know that I can’t convince you otherwise I’ll just save my energy for something else : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Don’t try so hard to defend yourself or that illusion you have. That you even said “how much misogyny hides behind your statement” is ridiculous. If someone has seen the Anime and then reads your comments about it he has to pity you no matter what. Our society is damaged and that you think behavior like this is normal shows truly what you are. 

Mr-Know-It-All: For people who read “this discussion” without knowing the Anime. Just watch it (it’s a good show). But just so you understand: SPOILER: This ******** has an affair with a married an (for a long time period) ... and that’s only the beginning XD XD it only gets better. 

SO, to break this down again: 

- at first he assumes I identify with this character and that would make me a slut too so .. my opinion is not really valid right? 

- I try to reason with him one more time even though I already saw him as a lost cause and he then proceeds to tell me (put bluntly) that my point of view is what’s wrong with society. 

- he then tries to justify his opinion by slutshaming the character even further 

Maybe you don’t see a problem with this. Maybe you think I overreacted, but to be honest: I’m fed up. I’m fed up about being told that I’m only worth something if I’m “pure and innocent” - whatever that means! I’m so fed up with men like him degrading women because of their decisions and actions. Why are men allowed to make mistakes, to learn from their mistakes and to move on - but women have to be haunted by theirs for the rest of their life and through all eternity? And maybe - just maybe - someone doesn’t even see having an affair with a married man as a mistake and if they don’t IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS TO COMPLAIN. Women’s lifes do not belong to men. We are not something you can dictate however you want. We live. We feel. Sometimes we need things even though we know they are bad for us. We do things that we know can get us in trouble. We are human and it’s heartbreaking to see how many men still don’t get the idea that women can live a life on their own. That they don’t need someone to overlook their every move. 

I want the Anime Community to be open-minded, to be inclusive to everyone. I want everyone to feel welcome and safe. And even though there are often discourses - let’s handle them the classy way. I want to feel welcomed no matter what my sexuality is or how often I have sex or how much I admire a sex positive character. Sex positivity is so important, especially for young women, so let’s work hard together to make it something that’s okay. Okay to be talked about. Okay to be admired. And also okay to not be practiced since it’s not for everyone but that is also okay.

[buzzworddotie]

The 8th Amendment Referendum in Ireland

And how history is being rewritten one step at a time

It's been a long time coming but on May 25th 2018 the people of Ireland were asked if they would like to amend the Constitution to decriminalise abortion in Ireland.

What's it all about?

Up until now, an Irish women who seeked out an abortion for personal reasons or medical ones was a criminal under Irish law. A woman would have to either travel to the UK or attempt to dangerously take abortion pills acquired illegally at home under zero medical supervision.

Or the alternative, for years, decades, Ireland and the stronghold held over her by the Catholic Church, would force girls and women into homes to have the baby. Often these babies wound up dead, buried away, hidden. Bones have been found in septic tanks.

Girls and women were treated brutally.

Secret pregnancies were also a thing, who knows how many women and girls suffered in silence?

Right up until May 25th 2018.

That's when we finally got to be heard.

Enough is Enough

I can't take a single piece of credit for getting this vote to happen but there are countless women who can. Women who have been banging on doors, demanding bodily autonomy, demanding rights, demanding choice. Finally the demand was heard, finally the government agreed to allow the people to make a decision.

The Campaigns

As soon as the vote was announced, I knew this was not going to be a particularly nice campaign. That's putting it lightly. In 2015 Ireland held the Marriage Referendum. An opportunity to change the Constitution to recognise and allow same sex marriage in Ireland. It passed, of course, but the campaign was filled with some uneducated, hateful rhetoric fuelled by the Catholic Church. Regardless of how much they wanted to deny it, hardcore religious groups and their followers were against that law with vigor and venom.

And I knew that hate would amplify for this one. I already knew what way I wanted to vote, I didn't need anyone to convince me either way, much like the Marriage Ref. But unlike then when I did tune into radio debates and absorbed the arguments, this time I made the conscious decision to avoid it as much as possible.

Marketing

Despite that it was tough to avoid, every pole, every surface available was covered with Yes and No posters. The Yes posters usually said something like "Yes for choice" "Together for Yes" or a simple "Repeal"...

Murals went up by artists like Maser, badges were made, Repeal jumpers and through the help of crowd sourcing the Yes campaign managed to gain more support for their message.

Our message.

On the No side there were an abundance of posters, I have seen images of feotus in the womb telling me babies will be murdered. Billboards across towns, rural and otherwise.

The whole thing turned into a massive marketing campaign. To a degree, on both sides. Paid ads on social media, Google and streaming services, posters... So... Many... Posters.

Social media attacks, hashags... I just didn't want to hear it. I know burying your head in the sand isn't a solution but I personally don't believe that an issue as important as this should boil down to who has the most money to promote a post or buy a billboard.

One thing I will say is that, at least where I have travelled, there was far more "No" campaign imagery than "Yes". Those were the ones with the billboards, the video ads that interrupted my viewing and I had to wonder, where was all this money coming from?

In the end Google and Facebook to the best of my knowledge pulled paid advertising on their platforms but there were other means.

Attacks on People, places and things

Another side of the campaign was the inevitable attacks. Digital rows blazed up as the concept of reasoned debate flew out the window. Some of the words I have witnessed being used against women on social media were beyond appalling, disgusting, shameful.

Were there bot accounts? Yes, there were. It doesn't take too much probing to see that and that minor exercise in investigation proved that really the "No" side was in the minority. It was clear but you could never be certain.

And by no means would I ever suggest the "Yes" side were entirely innocent, I just didn't catch the trolling by them.

"No" campaigners also attacked places, apparently in one constituency very graphic posters were hung very close to a school, causing uproar.

They also stood outside maternity hospitals.

Let me reiterate that, MATERNITY HOSPITALS.

They stood outside them holding graphic posters, other establishments too, but that one made me sick to my stomach.

Then on the stunning Benbulben, in my home county, a place I adore, they stuck a massive "NO" sign. For some reason this triggered me. Using the landscape of this country, which throughout history has been defined with feminine pronouns, to announce that women's rights were not of value was disgusting.

Photo: https://garethwray.com/product/classiebawn-benbulben-sligos-iconic-duo/

Not more disgusting than standing outside a hospital or plastering graphic and insensitive imagery around a school but a different kind of insult. As if they were claiming this land shared their voice.

What was even weirder was the fact the people who did it were practically a parody of themselves, announcing on radio that the men had put up the sign as the women made them tea and sanwiches.

This had to be a joke, right?

It's not funny

Truthfully though, this issue wasn't a joke, not to me or to anyone involved. This vote could actually be the difference between life and death for so many women.

By night, reports were coming out saying that the turnout to vote had been exceptional, people had been travelling back home from all around the country to take part.

Many popular Irish female voices had been so loud in their messages to push this cause, many Irish men got involved too stressing the importance of men getting behind women, taking a stand with them, recognising this is their issue too. Women should not be alone in this.

Soon we began to hear the results from the Exit Polls. First the Irish Times showing a landslide in favour of Repealing. It was something like 68% in favour, an insane number.

RTE Uses Us

The "main" Irish broadcaster, the state owned one, decided to announce their Exit Polls on what I think is supposed to be a late night chat show, The Late Late Show.

I found this disgusting and I didn't watch, because I never watch, because it's utter fucking drivel. But what RTE did was decide to use this campaign for their own ratings gain. They knew people would tune in and so they decided to, as far as I know, discuss how "Toxic Masculinity is a Myth", very fucking timely decision lads. As well as this they had some gobshite on NATIONAL TV talking about how she speaks to fairies.

Because heaven forbid we take a step forward as a nation.

Now, I don't know at what stage they announced the results but I do know that it wasn't before any of that other shite. Again, that was a calculated move and they will point to those viewing figures to justify the ridiculous wages that we fund for that show and it's (wooden) presenter. I'll pause that one right there.

History is Rewritten

In a move that has the potential to shock anyone not clued into who most modern Irish people actually are, the "Yes" side achieved a mammoth victory with over 1.4 million people deciding to Vote Yes, over 66% of voters.

And the 8th Amendment has been Repealed. I am so proud of all of us.

Photo: Maser, https://deandublin.ie/events/maser-exhibition/

What Now?

So where do we go from here?

I can never shake a Bell X1 lyric from my head in times like this. Fitting, given they are an Irish band:

"...History is written by the winners. And I want my say."

If we want to continue to create an Ireland that is just, inclusive, fair and reasonable we have to keep banding together and becoming the winners. The people on the reasoned side do not always need to feel like they are being walked all over.

That's how things have felt for so long, I won't even say in the past because it is still happening. This moment was monumental and something that, just like the Marriage Referendum, should be really allowed to sink into the minds of every single person who voted, the real power of what was achieved this day is epic.

We didn't just pop an X next to a box. We have literally changed the Constitution of this nation twice. We have asked to please get a chance to update this nation to reflect who we are and not to be bound to the decisions of the past, which maybe were the right decisions back then or maybe the alternative was too alternative. We had to crawl for a while, but we started to walk and now we have the chance to run.

I don't want our interest in matters like this to start and stop with things that are so clearly emotive. There is so much more to do to keep pushing forward.

And the further we move ahead the more resistance will be out against us but we can't turn a blind eye.

OK the 8th is Repealed, what can we put in place now to ensure any womelan who require ls a clinic is not harassed with hate on entry and exit as is the case in other countries?

And there are more issues outside of this.

We need to really strive to separate Church from state, the stranglehold the Church has over schools is poisonous. There are laws that exist that people are not even aware of, did you know that if you work as a teacher in one of the many, many Church affiliated schools and you do something outside of the Catholic ethos like sleep with someone outside of marraige, they can fire you?! Can you believe this shit!?

Then there are the other social issues including housing, homelessness, classism which are still very active and we need to fight back against those structures too.

We have to keep saying when enough is enough.

We have to keep looking out for each other, from all walks of life.

Sure, An Taoisach gave some really character defining moments during this debate but he and his party need to be just as active in helping people out elsewhere. Maybe it won't get them as much PR but it should and if they make the best decisions it will.

Simon Harris has been charming people during these debates. Is that enough? Is that all it takes? He is Minister for Health of a system that is simply disasterous. A system where hospitals are under funded, where women are being improperly diagnosed with ceverical cancer, where patients are left on trolleys, where I don't know if my own father is getting the best treatment he can be getting right now because I simply do not trust the HSE.

The rich are getting richer, you can barely afford a basic, single bedroom roof over your head. People, families are homeless. Maybe the few are doing well but I'd argue the majority are struggling still.

Prospects are few and far between.

Really heinous crimes have been committed, some very recently, against women and girls. A lot of them. These are issues too that need to be examined, there is an underlying problem to this that needs to be addressed.

Mental Health needs to be treated as a real issue with real, available and affordable treatment. People should be able to get counselling or therapy as easily as they can get the flu shot.

That barely scratches the surface.

Yes, we achieved something outstanding and worth celebrating but this should be the fire in our belly to ignite us to realise we can do so much more.

We don't have to sit back and take our lot. We need to keep demanding better from our leaders and our services from the extreme examples to the basics of decent roads, schools and water.

The water in my own home been undrinkable for nearly 6 months that we are aware of. And it could have been longer.

Honestly the Irish rail service Iarnrod Eireann's slogan sums us up perfectly, "We're not there yet. But we're getting there."

This country is moving forward but we can't stop demanding true equality, for everyone.

A chairde, comhghairdeas, rinneamar stair le chéile. Ligeann an treocht seo a choinneáil.

Is féidir linn é a dhéanamh.

[itsfinancethings]

New story in Politics from Time: Revenge of the Never Trumpers: Meet the Republican Dissidents Fighting to Push Donald Trump Out of Office

Jack Spielman has been a Republican his whole life. But over the past four years, he has come to two realizations.

Increasingly upset by President Donald Trump’s “appalling” behavior, his cozy relationships with dictators and the ballooning national debt, Spielman says his first epiphany was that he couldn’t cast a ballot for Trump again. But for the retired Army cybersecurity engineer, the final straw was the President’s retaliation against impeachment witness Lieut. Colonel Alexander Vindman, who retired in July after Trump fired him from the National Security Council in February. Spielman decided he had to do more than just vote for presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden; he had to persuade others to do the same. So Spielman filmed a video for a group called Republican Voters Against Trump (RVAT), explaining his views. “I want to do some part,” Spielman tells TIME, “to try to correct the wrong that I did in voting for this man.”

RVAT, which launched in May, is among a growing number of Republicanled groups dedicated to making Trump a one-term President. Since December, longtime GOP operatives and officials have formed at least five political committees designed to urge disaffected conservatives to vote for Biden. The best known of these groups, the Lincoln Project, has since forming late last year gained national attention for its slick advertisements trolling the President. Right Side PAC, led by the former chair of the Ohio Republican Party, launched in late June; a few days after that, more than 200 alumni of George W. Bush’s Administration banded together to form an organization called 43 Alumni for Biden. There’s also the Bravery Project, led by former GOP Congressman and erstwhile Trump primary challenger Joe Walsh. And plans are in the works for a group of former national-security officials from Republican administrations to endorse Biden this summer.

Since 2015, pockets of the party have bemoaned Trump’s Twitter antics, his divisive rhetoric and key elements of his platform, from the Muslim travel ban to his trade tariffs to his family-separation policy at the U.S.-Mexico border. But with the President’s approval rating in the party consistently around 90%, and GOP lawmakers terrified to cross him, the so-called Never Trump faction has proven largely powerless, with a negligible impact on federal policy.

Now, in the final stretch of the President’s term, the Never Trumpers could finally have their revenge. Four years ago, Trump won the Electoral College by some 77,000 votes scattered across Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan. If even a small slice of disillusioned Trump voters or right-leaning independents defect to Biden in November, it could be enough to kick Trump out of office. “They are the constituency that can swing this election,” says Sarah Longwell, a longtime Republican operative and founder of RVAT.

This constituency now appears more willing to vote for Biden than they were six months ago, in no small part because of Trump’s faltering response to the corona-virus, which has killed more than 140,000 Americans and ravaged the economy. Between March and June, according to a Pew Research poll, Trump’s approval rating among Republicans and Republican-leaning voters dropped seven percentage points, to 78%. A June 25 New York Times/Siena College survey found that Biden has a 35-point lead over Trump among voters in battleground states who supported a third-party candidate in 2016. “Any small percentage of voters who no longer support him could be critical in closely matched swing states,” says Republican pollster Whit Ayres.

It’s too early to gauge how effective the raft of Never Trump groups will be. They’re dismissed by many Republicans as self-serving opportunists profiting off the polarization Trump has exacerbated. Trump also remains hugely popular among Republicans. “President Trump is the leader of a united Republican Party where he has earned 94% of Republican votes during the primaries–something any former President of any party could only dream of,” says campaign spokes-woman Erin Perrine.

Even if the Never Trump activists are able to help oust the President, it’s unclear what will become of a party that’s vastly different from the one they came up in. Trump has transformed today’s GOP into a cult of personality rooted in economic nationalism and racial division. And while the small anti-Trump faction wants to return to the conservative ideology that reigned for decades before Trump, many Republicans believe Trump has changed the party forever.

Sitting in front of a packed book-case, Rick Wilson looked surprised as he peered over hornrimmed spectacles at an overflowing screen: “There’s 10,000 people on here,” the onetime Republican operative marveled of the Zoom audience assembled for the Lincoln Project’s first town hall on July 9.

Grant Lancaster—AM New YorkThe Lincoln Project’s ads criticizing the President’s performance have helped it raise nearly $20 million

Wilson formed the Lincoln Project in December, along with lawyer George Conway, the husband of Trump’s senior adviser Kellyanne Conway, and veteran political strategists Steve Schmidt and John Weaver, among others. The Republican stalwarts had grown disgusted with the President’s behavior and their party’s acquiescence to it. The launch met little fanfare, but in the months since, the group has demonstrated a knack for quickly producing memorable videos and advertisements that get under Trump’s skin. In early May, with the unemployment rate soaring toward 15%, the group released an ad dubbed “Mourning in America,” a play on the upbeat Ronald Reagan classic, which depicted the woes of sick and unemployed Americans under Trump’s leadership. “If we have another four years like this,” the ad’s narrator intones as dead patients are wheeled out of hospitals on stretchers, “will there even be an America?” The President took notice. “Their so-called Lincoln Project is a disgrace to Honest Abe!” Trump tweeted. “I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband, Moonface, but it must have been really bad.”

Irritating the President is part of the point. “It’s not trolling if you get a fish in the line,” says Reed Galen, a veteran of George W. Bush’s presidential campaigns and one of the project’s co-founders. “We kept dropping a hook in the water, and eventually the President bit.” The attention has been a boon to the group’s finances. The Lincoln Project raised nearly $17 million between April 1 and June 30.

If the Lincoln Project tries to needle the President, other groups in the Never Trump ecosystem have found complementary roles. Instead of using polished editing and ominous music to make a splash online, RVAT has gathered more than 400 testimonials from disheartened Republicans like Spielman. “I did only vote for Donald Trump because I couldn’t believe someone who acted as goofy as he did on TV actually meant it,” Monica, a self-described evangelical Christian from Texas, says in one video. “Since that time, I have been riddled with guilt.”

Longwell, RVAT’s founder, believes hearing from people like Monica will show waffling conservatives that they’re not alone in their dislike of the President, and encourage them to break away. “The thing that people trusted wasn’t elites, it wasn’t Republican elites, it certainly wasn’t the media,” Longwell says of her focus-group research. “But they did trust people like them.” The group says it plans to showcase those voices in an eight-figure ad campaign in five swing states before Election Day.

RVAT identified recalcitrant Republicans through email lists Longwell had built at Defending Democracy Together, its parent organization. Founded in 2019, Defending Democracy Together created online petitions whose signatories often offered clues of their disillusionment with Trump. Petitions supporting Vindman and thanking Utah Senator Mitt Romney for voting to convict Trump of abuse of power during the impeachment trial proved especially fruitful in finding former Trump supporters, according to Tim Miller, RVAT’s political director and a veteran Republican communications strategist.

To test new video messages, Longwell held a Zoom focus group on July 15 with seven Florida voters and allowed TIME to watch. Each participant voted for Trump in 2016 but was now dissatisfied with his leadership. Several mentioned his handling of COVID-19 in the meeting, noting Florida’s dramatic spike in cases. Long-well showed the group a few of RVAT’s testimonials. “It resonates with me,” one woman who works in the travel industry in Orlando said. “It does make me feel less alone.” But while three people on the call said they’d likely vote for Biden, two said they were unsure and two said they would still vote for Trump again. “I don’t think there’s any hope for him,” the Orlando woman said. “But I don’t see Biden doing a good job either.”

Matt Borges of Right Side PAC recognizes that Republican voters’ uncertainty about Biden needs to be addressed. As the former chair of the Ohio Republican Party watched Never Trump groups roll out advertisements, he worried there was too much focus on why Trump was bad and not enough on why Biden was a good alternative. “We need these people who know they are not [going to] vote for Trump but are not sold on Joe Biden to hear some messaging from fellow Republicans that says, ‘No, it’s O.K. to vote for this guy,'” says Borges, a lifelong Republican who disavowed Trump three years ago. In an unrelated development, Borges was arrested on July 21 for allegedly participating in a $60 million bribery scheme involving top political officials that the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Ohio decried as the biggest money-laundering effort in the state’s history.

In June, Borges teamed up with former Trump communications director Anthony Scaramucci to form Right Side PAC, which plans to spend up to $7 million targeting these voters through mailings, digital ads and phone banks. Their first focus is Michigan, where Borges commissioned a pollster to conduct research on Republican voters in swing districts. After spending more than a week in the field, the pollster delivered the results to Borges and Scaramucci on a Zoom call, which TIME observed. Support for Trump among Republican voters in Michigan’s Eighth Congressional District had dropped from 80% in January to 67%, the pollster said. The district had swung for Trump in 2016, then voted for a Democratic Congresswoman, Elissa Slotkin, two years later. Voters who ranked the coronavirus as their top concern were seen as more likely to break for Biden. While the group had planned to target all white Republican women over the age of 50 in Michigan, the pollster said the data suggested those over 65 were immovable in their support for Trump. These insights, Borges says, will form the basis of Right Side PAC’s “final sale” to voters on Biden’s behalf.

As the presidential race heads into its final months, another group of Republicans aims to help Biden in a different way. A group of more than 70 former national-security officials from GOP administrations, led by John Bellinger, the senior National Security Council and State Department lawyer under George W. Bush, and Ken Wainstein, Bush’s Homeland Security Adviser, plans to endorse Biden and publish a mission statement describing the damage they say Trump has done to America’s national security and global reputation. They will also fund-raise for the former Vice President and do media appearances in battleground states when the group launches later this summer. Some of the same people wrote an open letter denouncing Trump in 2016. But, says Wainstein, “our effort this time is going to have some staying power throughout the campaign.”

How much impact these groups will ultimately have on voters remains unclear. As they try to unseat an incumbent with a massive war chest, their first hurdle is money. Right Side PAC raised just over $124,000 in the first two weeks, disclosure filings show. The bulk of that haul came from one person, New York venture capitalist Peter Kellner, a long-time Republican donor who began giving to Democrats in 2018 and who has forked over the maximum amount to Biden’s campaign, according to Federal Election Commission filings. The group’s prospects were also clouded by Borges’ July 21 arrest. Borges did not respond to requests for comment.

43 Alumni for Biden, the group of former George W. Bush officials, announced its formation on July 1, which means it doesn’t have to file disclosure reports until October; had it announced a day earlier, it would have had to publicize its finances in mid-July. A member of the group declined to provide specific figures but said it had received contributions from more than 500 individuals. The Bravery Project officially launches July 23, and a representative declined to provide any fundraising figures.

Longwell tells TIME that RVAT has raised $13 million this year. As a 501(c)4, or political nonprofit, the group does not need to disclose its donors or exact figures. But the number she provides puts the group on par with the Lincoln Project, whose biggest donors are primarily prominent Democrats. While disclosure filings show that nearly half of the Lincoln Project’s donations were “unitemized” or under $200, it raked in $1 million from billionaire hedge-fund manager Stephen Mandel and $100,000 apiece from business mogul David Geffen and Joshua Bekenstein, the co-chairman of Bain Capital.

This influx of cash has enabled the Lincoln Project to ramp up advertisements against vulnerable Republican Senators like Susan Collins of Maine, Cory Gardner of Colorado and Steve Daines of Montana. “We made it very clear that this is not just about Trump but Trumpism and its enablers,” says Galen. “The Republican Senators we have held to account are the President’s greatest enablers.”

The strategy of going after Senators has provoked the ire of many Republicans, who say the group is prioritizing profit over party. “It’s purely grifting and making a name for themselves. It’s not based on principle at all,” says Matt Gorman, a Republican strategist who worked for Jeb Bush’s and Romney’s presidential campaigns. The Lincoln Project, he says, “is essentially meant for raising money off the resistance and lining their own pockets.”

The group’s finances have also raised some eyebrows among government watchdogs. Two consulting firms, one run by Galen and another by co-founder Ron Steslow, received nearly a quarter of the $8.6 million the group spent between January and July. While other committees use similar methods, it is “not at all standard,” says Sheila Krumholz, executive director at the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. “It raises red flags about whether the operation is taking advantage of a situation where donors are giving to what they think is supporting one effort, but there are other patterns at play.”

Krumholz notes that the Lincoln Project does not publicly disclose all of the vendors who have done work for them, which suggests they are funneling money to organizations that then hire subcontractors. This method is not unheard-of, but the lack of transparency makes it difficult to discern who is ultimately profiting. “The public doesn’t know the extent to which Lincoln Project operatives may be profiting, or if they’re profiting at all,” Krumholz says. When asked about the group’s finances, Galen says, “We abide by all reporting requirements laid down by the FEC. No one at the Lincoln Project is buying a Ferrari.”

For now, the Never Trump Republicans say they aren’t looking beyond November. “We’re all in a grand alliance to beat a very big threat,” says Miller of RVAT. “We’ll see how the chips fall after.” But regardless of the election’s outcome, Miller and his cohorts face challenges ahead. They will either be failed rebels, cast out by a party taken over by its two-term President, or facing down a Biden Administration, which would bring unwelcome liberal policies and perhaps Supreme Court vacancies.

If Biden wins, Trumpism won’t disappear with Trump. The President’s rapid rise revealed the extent to which many of the ideological pillars of modern conservatism–its zeal for unfettered free markets, its devotion to deficit reduction, its attachment to global alliances, its faith in a muscular foreign policy–were out of step with actual Republican voters. Many of the ambitious lawmakers rising in the party, like Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, have seen in Trump’s political success an example to emulate. The next generation of Republican leaders may try to replicate his policies without the self-defeating behavior.

It’s led many to wonder whether traditional conservatives will have a home in the GOP after Trump is gone. “There is a growing feeling that we need to burn the whole house down to purify the party of Trump enablers in the Congress,” says a former White House official in George W. Bush’s Administration. Some see the prospect of a rupture, with disaffected Republicans cleaving off and either forming a new party or making a tenuous peace with the moderate wing of the Democratic Party. “There’s a very real possibility … that the party will split,” says Richard Burt, former ambassador to Germany under President Reagan.

The modern Republican Party was always an uneasy alliance in some ways, with fiscal conservatives, religious conservatives and neoconservatives jostling for influence, and a white working-class base voting for policies that often favored the wealthy. Steven Teles, co-author of Never Trump: The Revolt of the Conservative Elites, envisions a Republican Party in which Trumpism dominates but the dissenters make up a vocal resistance faction. “I don’t think anyone is going to have control of the Republican Party the way we’ve seen in the past,” he says.

The irony of the Never Trumper activists is that while they are encouraging Republicans to vote Democratic for the first time in their lives, that is bringing some Republicans back into the party by creating a community of the disaffected. Spielman, the retired Army cybersecurity engineer, had become so disenchanted with Trump that he turned his back on the party altogether, voting for Democrats in Michigan’s 2020 primaries. But the Never Trump groups are “giving me hope that there are still some people out there with some decency that want to go back and save the party,” Spielman says. “It’s allowed me to come back and say, Yeah, I’m a Republican. I’m not leaving the party, but I want to fight for what’s right for the party.”

With reporting by Leslie Dickstein, Mariah Espada, and Josh Rosenberg

from Blogger https://ift.tt/39jUbqm via IFTTT

[yunhokick]

[GOLDEN KAMUY] Interview with managing editor Ookuma Hakkou, May 2016

Golden Kamuy won the Manga Taisho Award 2016. Noda Satoru was the first male mangaka since 2008 who grabbed the award – 8 years after Ishizuka Shinichi did it with Gaku – Minna no Yama. HONZ had an interview with Golden Kamuy’s managing director, Ookuma Hakkou. The interviewer was Okada Atsunobu from Manga Shinbun.

(pic below: Ookuma Hakkou when receiving the Manga Taisho Award 2016 on behalf of Noda Satoru)

Member of HONZ vary from female university students to men in their late 40s, and their tastes often don’t agree, but Golden Kamuy receives support from all groups. Can you tell us the secret of the strong appeal that captures men and women of all ages?

Thank you. As for the appeal, one of my favourite authors, Fujiko F. Fujio, once said this:

“When it comes to popular manga, what the readers want and what the mangaka try to express, fortunately concur.” (Fujiko F. Fujio in Fujiko F. Fujio no manga gihou, published by Shogakukan. Fujiko F. Fujio is the mangaka who made Doraemon – ty.)

Holding to the quote above, I sought for “materials in Noda-sensei’s drawer that could be accepted by more people”. Those materials were “hunting”, “military”, and Noda-sensei’s place of origin, “Hokkaido”. I think those concur with what readers want to read.

I see. Was such appeal something that you aimed for? Or was it unexpected?

I aimed for it. Editing is the very first tasting of what the chef, the mangaka, prepares. I think an editor must together with the author aims for the taste that can be accepted by many. I’ve been working together with Noda-sensei since the beginning of his debut Supinamarada!, and after the serialization ended, he showed me name (manga scripts) of various themes, but the moment I read the script for Golden Kamuy, I thought “This is it!” Something fundamental was born between me and Noda-sensei.

Then, when the serialization started, did it become popular immediately?

The first responses were truly wonderful. Afterwards, ever since Sugimoto and Shiraishi fell off a snow cornice in chapter 7, poll results too have been stable.

I see.

Although it showed two plain gaffers warming themselves (laughs). After that, we held a discussion to talk about strategy. Actually, without caring about poll results, we’ve made 7 chapters to be compiled in the first volume (180 pages) before the serialization started. We tried putting Hijikata Toshizou in chapter seven at the end of the book… It was such an attention-grabber. It cleverly fit, and the poll results were stellar.

Awesome.

Furthermore, if we included depictions of food, it’d get even better…

I came to realise that pacing was very important. Action creates ‘tension’, so as a reader continues reading a book, they demand more tension. Inserting daily elements such as food prevents tension from soaring too high, creating a synergistic effect like pouring salt on watermelon just heightens its sweetness. However, even though we want to put in everything, putting in different things together takes considerable skill. If we made it clumsily, the elements might cancel each other so that the taste would disappear, but thanks to Noda-sensei’s capabilities, it turned out wonderful.

 Because He’s Earnest, He Doesn’t’ Leave Out Scenes of Preparing Game Meat

The culinary aspect of Golden Kamuy has considerable elements of hunting. There are a substantial number of scenes showing the process of cooking, from making trap to capture game to be cooked and preparing the food.

I think that’s the result of Noda-sensei’s earnestness. For instance, when preparing food, the Ainu people will fold the fur of the game they caught. Including on a snow field. There’s a meaning in each of their behaviour, even in their daily routine, somehow. Not only the culinary scenes, the livelihood of the Ainu people is also an important theme in Golden Kamuy, so I think he’s pouring his efforts over that feeling of wanting to tell everything about it without compromise. Because that’s how Noda-sensei works—grounding entertainment on a foundation of reality.

I see. By the way, in addition to that element of “fighting for a purpose” like in shounen magazines, Golden Kamuy also contains depictions that are quite gruesome, seinen magazine style.

We also aim for that. However, er… about gruesome depictions… although he said he’s not good at horrid stuff, I wonder if he’s probably lying… I think he kinda likes it. (laughs)

New Series Is the Transfer Student in a Class

Are there gruesome scenes that are too extreme so that sensei was asked to change them?

There are. For instance, actually the original script for chapter 3 of Golden Kamuy showed the havoc caused by a wandering bear that attacked a village.

(laughs) That makes me want to read it.

In my opinion, a newly serialized manga is like a transfer student in a class. When one transfers school, the first impression given is when one introduces one’s self, showing one’s face. That’s the information for readers—readers are the classmates. Information in manga is something like that. However, as days, that is, pages, go by, as we come to knowing why someone cries, be happy, be angry, what does he eat to stay alive, what kind of girl he likes, then we might think “this person is like me”, or “this person is a friend”, or “this person is someone cool that I want to look up to”, in short, is that person like Hibito from Uchuu Kyoudai (a manga by Koyama Chuuya – ty.) or like Toriko from Toriko (a manga by Shimabukuro Mitsutoshi). Or we can learn that he’s the sympathetic sort of a main character like Komatsu (a supporting character in Toriko).

I see.

How to shorten the sense of distance with readers is tremendously important. So, if you display gruesome scenes in the first impact, it will draw attention because it gives such a huge thrill. It’d start out with a bang.

That’s right.

However, once that point of attention has passed from sight, I think such over-the-top stuff would lose its appeal to the masses.

For sure.

That’s why if at the very first you already put something that attracts attention, to maintain the appeal of the point of attention, we must properly devise it in a calculated way, so as not to overdo it. That’s why I said “If three consecutive chapters are gruesome, people would perceive this as over-the-top, so I don’t think it would be appealing to the masses, and thus can you put more various, balanced interesting elements in?”

Thanks to that trial-and-error, the first chapter turned out to be awesome.

Combination of Reality and Entertainment

Golden Kamuy has a lot of unique characters; I think it’s the appeal of the manga. How were they created?  In his blog, Noda-sensei mentioned that the protagonist Sugimoto Saichi was named after his tondenhei great-grandfather, but only the name was borrowed, while the great-grandfather was not really the model.

He was modelled after a historical figure. Both Noda-sensei and I love history, so many of the characters are based on historical figures. The model for Sugimoto, Funasaka Hiroshi, was a person who survived hand grenade blast.

Eeeeh!

In chapter 1, Sugimoto was shot in the neck; the same thing also happened to Funasaka. Funasaka survived nevertheless, and was then called ‘immortal’.

The standard of romance manga is exaggerating the daily moment of meeting the love interest; however, when it comes to thinking of how to draw totally awesome moment in a survival manga, what can show that this guy is cool straight away? How about an immortal guy? Hence, Noda-sensei developed Sugimoto based on Funasaka.

Invincible Ushiyama is modelled after Ushijima Tatsukuma (a judoka) who once fought Rikidouzan (a famous wrestler – ty. ) and taught Kimura Masahiko (another famous judoka – ty.).

The name is so terrific, isn’t it. It’s made up of the kanji characters 牛 (cow), 島 (island) 辰 (dragon) and 熊 (bear). He’s the judoka who’s called ‘Invincible Ushijima’. I heard he’s unbeaten in 100 matches. The murder hotel arc was based on the murders by American murderer H.H. Holmes. A new character that recently appeared in the magazine was modelled after Ed Gein, who made a lampshade from human face skin. Hijikata Toshizou needs no explanation. There are many seemingly unreal people like them, and if we make characters based on them, readers can immediately connect the story with reality. That’s why we want to keep creating characters with such feeling of reality.

How about Asirpa?

Asirpa is slightly different, because she’s not modelled after anyone. But there’s a story about her name. We decided on the name ‘Asirpa’ because our Ainu language supervisor, Professor Nakagawa Hiroshi from Chiba University, when we’re trying to choose a name for her, told us “The name means ‘new year’, but it can also be interpreted as ‘future’.” When we chose the name, it solidified her character as ‘a small girl that opens up a new age after the turbulent Meiji period and opens up a new meaning of life’.

I see.

The Ainu people put great importance in names. For instance, if we use a name that belonged to a person who’s died in unfortunate circumstances, that would be considered a blasphemy, so we cannot use the same name, making it quite difficult for us. A name carries a strong meaning. If you only see the way my name is written (Ookuma Hakkou, 大熊八甲, the kanji for ookuma means big bear), wouldn’t you get an image of a judoka? (laughs) But then I turn out looking more like a bear cub (小熊, literally small bear) instead.

No, it’s not like that. (laughs)

Maybe I look more like a raccoon. (laughs)

No no no! (laughs) Are there any other models for the characters?

Ah, I was told that Sugimoto’s weird faces when eating food are inspired by MAN vs. WILD’s Bear Grylls.

Eeeh!

To stay alive, Grylls ate stuff like worms, snake, and maggots during his survival trips. He’d put up a very disgusted face. But he’d say “They’re good nutrition sources.” He gives the impression “Although I don’t want to eat it, but I have to eat it to stay alive.” I watched it because Noda-sensei told me it’s interesting, and I thought it’s such an interesting entertainment, I want us to make something inspired by this.

You got idea from truly various places.

 Abundant reference and running around Hokkaido for field observation

Earlier, you mentioned that Noda-sensei was earnest, but what kind of a person he actually is?

His image is that of the writer, sophisticated and no-nonsense. He’s silent, very earnest about manga, determined, and, in a good meaning, greedy.

Greedy?

Like, “I want to write something interesting”, “Isn’t my manga interesting?”… It’s as if he declares war against all other manga. But he’s actually a very gentle person. (laughs) He’s the professional writer with the strong points that I admire.

Wonderful. I also got the impression that he’s a very studious person, from the very long list of reference at the end of every Golden Kamuy volume… However, I was surprised because I heard the reference only includes books about the Ainu, and he actually reads far more books that he can’t write them all down in the list.

That’s right! Noda-sensei is a guy who doesn’t want to draw lies. His stance is “Always put your effort earnestly, and apologize if you make a mistake”. I think his earnestness can be felt by all the relevant parties, and they can accept his work favourably. Even if there are mistakes now, they will point them out in a positive way, and will help with the correction.

Is research difficult too?

It is. If anyone asks whether it’s difficult, it is, very (laughs).

However, I think probably it’s the nature of an author to do their best when it’s about the things they like, even though they look difficult. For instance, someone who loves soccer would find no problem playing soccer every day, but for someone who hates soccer, it would really be a bother. For Noda-sensei, survival and military stuff are things that he really likes. He also loves Hokkaido. His love seeps into the manga. He reads a lot of books and does field observation himself. I certainly go observing with him, and I do the editing, but at the root, the heart itself, is Noda-sensei’s field observation. It’s truly admirable.

The other day, I was surprised because Noda-sensei wrote in his blog that “Golden Kamuy wouldn’t be published in the next issue because I’m going hunting”. I thought, was the series having a break over hunting Sanzoku Diary or Golden Kamuy…

We’re also going to Abashiri Prison, Oshamambe Airport, Shiretoko. Also to Sankebetsu where the brown bear incident happened. By the way, when we went to Noboribetsu Bear Park, when this bear was fed, our photographer stood by the side and kept taking pictures when the bear took the food. That became the picture at the back cover of volume 1.

Eeeh!

Actually, there’s an apple in front of the bear’s mouth in the photograph. (laughs). That’s just some of the things we do.

So there was such secret.

Since his previous work, Supinamarada!, field observation has been very important. When the ice hockey team of Komadai Tomakamai High, the model for Yuufutsu High, the setting for Supinamarada!, won a match, he went down into the rink (laughs). To draw an interesting manga, he gets involved in many things. Seriously. If he gets angry, he’ll let it out honestly (laughs). He’s got such a great will to fight inside him.

 --end of interview—

Note: Again I got help from friends (@yayoimusume and @noirciel on Twitter) in some parts of this translation. Their main language pair is Japanese-Indonesian, so any mistake in translating their suggestion into English is mine! Corrections and suggestions are still, like always, welcome.

 Read more of my posts and translations about Golden Kamuy:

About the real Sugimoto Saichi and Funasaka Hiroshi

Interview with Noda Satoru and Ookuma Hakkou (January 2016)

Interview with Noda Satoru (January 2016)

Interview: Noda Satoru x Machiyama Tomohiro

[casualarsonist]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens review

‘A 7/10 is a work that is, for the most part, successful in its intentions. It’s a worthy and entertaining experience that perhaps slips a little here and there in how it keeps you engaged. It might have issues that frustrate, or it might be an acquired taste, but it certainly deserves to be elevated about its peers for reasons of quality, uniqueness, or ambition.’

- Me, 2017

A few months ago I wrote an article detailing my rating criteria. I wanted not just to inform the reader as to how I come to make my decisions, but set out some clear guidelines for myself, something that I could come back to if ever I felt uncertain about exactly where my feelings fell and, perhaps, to mark a line in the sand that would help me come to terms with some of the more negative feelings I have towards popular pieces of media. Above you can see the little blurb I wrote for what I believe a 7/10, or a ‘good’ film or novel or video game stands for, and I want you to pay particular attention to the last four words – ‘quality, uniqueness, or ambition’ – because for now they’re going to be important.

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is a film by J.J. Abrams Disney’s board of directors. It is the seventh film in the series, and most reviewers regarded it as a welcome return to form following George Lucas’ shockingly inept reappearance with the prequel trilogy in the late nineties/early noughties. For the majority of today’s youth, their memories of Star Wars are defined by these pulpy, clumsy, brightly-coloured prequel movie. They films were a big thing at the time, make no mistake, partly because of the anticipation held by established fans, and partly because children couldn’t escape the merchandising that littered every fast-food restaurant on the planet. But, like the overpriced plastic cups bearing Darth Maul’s scowling visage, so too were the films disposable tat, aimed at drilling gaudy two-dimensional images into the modern consciousness. Lucas, for his part, has always remained steadfast in his belief that his vision of Star Wars was the ‘one true’ Star Wars, but some cursory and utterly unscientific polling on my part indicates that children that were first introduced to the series via the prequel trilogy largely lack the reverence for the series that those who were weaned on the classic three. And why would they? What about the prequel trilogy would leave any self-respecting individual hungry for more, especially after the sinister mystery and the darkness of Darth Vader has been replaced with this:

And this:

I can only speak for myself at this point, but as someone for whom the stories of Luke, Leia, and Han were an irreplaceable part of my youth, the thing that made me return to Episode Two and Three was a naive and desperate hope that things would change - the same naive and desperate hope that led me to believe that Disney might be the saviour of the franchise, or that Star Wars Battlefront II would be anything other than a greed-raped stain upon the world, which is to say that at midnight on the night of The Force Awakens’ UK release I too was hopeful for something, anything other than the ugly, bloated, and utterly asinine prequel trilogy.

But ‘a return to form’ from older fans desperate to purge the memory of Mister Binks et al. is not necessarily a definitive seal of quality. Nor is the endorsement of a generation of people that never knew the original trilogy in a context separate from Hayden Christensen’s sand tantrums. And as the minutes and days and weeks stretched on following my first and only viewing of Episode VII, I found myself more and more disgruntled by it, by the memory of it, and by the many faults that existed despite the low bar it had to leap to be better than its immediate predecessors.

Now don’t get me wrong - The Force Awakens is not a technical failure, nor could it reasonably be called a ‘bad film’ were it to exist in a vacuum; from most angles it is objectively better than all three of the prequels, but I can’t say that it demonstrates either uniqueness or ambition. It’s possibly the most brazenly derivative film I have ever seen, and to simply call it ‘safe’ would be to seriously understate the depth of the film’s cannibalisation of its own mythos. This lazy and insulting lack of originality is made worse by frustratingly insubstantial glimpses at a wider narrative which are followed by, at best, nothing, and at worst…well:

‘You haven’t bought the season pass that unlocks the rest of this film’s plot.’

The above moment was not the first point in The Force Awakens that I audibly groaned, but it was the point that I remember the best because it typifies the one of the biggest problems with the film: nearly everything in the narrative of this film that might otherwise be interesting is left unelaborated - the story has been gutted and the meat saved for a time when the Star Wars Plot Advisory Committee can inform future auteurs directors writers meat puppets as to what they can and can’t include in order to maximise appeal amongst the key age demographics of zero-to-dead. And I would apologise for the slight spoiler in the above gif, but if you think that the scene contains some pivotal plot point or revelation then you’re wrong. The film repeatedly hints at a grander and more engaging arc that it doesn’t just fail to elaborate on, but actively hides from the viewer behind the most galling cardinal sin in storytelling -  the ‘I can’t explain now’ hook. Worse still is the fact that the film doesn’t explain why it can’t explain, we’re simply expected to swallow it hook, line, and sinker. I imagine that at this point, Abrams Disney pictured the audience on the edge of their seat wrapped in suspense, not scoffing and searching the theatre for other visibly incredulous patrons as I was. In any case, I couldn’t spoil the plot of the film for you if I tried, because everyone who has watched the original trilogy has seen it already. 

A plucky, Force-adept youngster lives on a desolate sand planet. After coming under threat from an army of technically superior stormtroopers, the youngster flees on the Millenium Falcon, falling in with a scrappy bunch of resistance fighters. Leia Organa and Han Solo assist. They are pursued by an evil Sith Lord in a black mask and are tasked with demolishing a super-weapon capable of destroying planets. The main characters infiltrate on foot, and the oldest of them dies. A group of pilots attack the super-weapon from space, and their weapons cause a chain-reaction that destroys it.

Sound familiar? Of course it does, because it’s the plot of A New Fucking Hope. You know this by now because it’s two years later and you’ve read all the reviews, but I can’t overemphasise just how much of The Force Awaken’s story is copy-pasted directly from the first film. But at least Mr J.J. Abrams Disney makes a pretty fucking compelling case as to how the Starkiller Base is NOT AT ALL like the Death Star (apart from the fact that it has exactly the same function, and contains the word ‘star’ in its name, and a word relating directly to death). 

I mean, for one thing, it’s bigger. That completely changes everything right there. 

Sorry J.J. Disney, my bad.

You’ll also notice that the design of the Starkiller Base is what I like the refer to as ‘shithouse’, and ‘not at all memorable’, which might be the single biggest difference between the two weapons. Maybe I was wrong after all. 

Sigh, but it’s not all bad, I guess. In fact, the one single thing that I think they managed to do right was arguably the hardest thing to do - nail the new characters. While it’s clear that this is Daisy Ridley’s first major film, she has enough charisma and courage to allow Rey to be the naive vessel the audience needs. She stands particularly strong in scenes across from Adam Driver’s villain, Kylo Ren, and their emotional tug-of-war is compelling. John Boyega is a natural performer, and his exemplary comic timing is keenly displayed both in his dialogue and through his performance. These three people form the pillars of energy and focus upon which the entirety of the film’s integrity rests. Harrison Ford’s comeback is welcome, but much of his input feels keenly meta and thus at odds with the character of Han as we knew it, exposing J.J’s Disney’s weakness at adapting such well-established and iconic personalities. I might say the same for Carrie Fisher, except she has fuck-all to do but stand around, talk in no detail about anything, and have her disgusting old age blurred out by a tasteful CGI filter that sits over her face the entire time. Oh, and Oscar Isaac plays a pilot gifted with the ability to destroy planet-sized doomsday cannons in 30 seconds of screen-time. Which is…y’know, a great way to end a film (and further invalidate a threat that was outmatched forty years ago by a plastic orb on a string). 

But again, my vitriol has outpaced me, so I need to come back and reiterate that, as an individual viewing experience, The Force Awakens is not a ‘bad’ film. It’s capably shot, has some witty dialogue, and a good cast with an excellent grasp on their characterisation and fantastic rapport. It isn’t perfect no matter what lens you view it through, and some of its greatest flaws come as a result of Disney’s clear desire to make the most mass-appeal product possible, but if you’re looking for some safe, immediate entertainment that won’t demand much from you, then The Force Awakens is a reasonable choice. 

But I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel compelled to watch it again, because at its core I don’t think this film is art. I don’t think it exists for any reason other than because a company saw a demand they could offer a supply to, and make some sweet dollas in doing so. It checks the boxes on its list of ‘things to please the average moviegoer’ so transparently that it almost feels as if it were written by an algorithm, and as much as the people in it are trying to make something meaningful of it all, The Force Awakens remains a product, an item, market-researched so thoroughly your psyche can still detect the aura of the focus-grouped decisions at every turn. It’s in the absurd jokes, and the conspicuous acceleration through the thin plot, and the way it waves references in your face like someone trying to get a smile from a baby by jingling their keys - it feels like the film is toying with me, pointing at all the positive reviews and asking me goadingly why I don’t come over and play with it like everyone else. Perhaps if I weren’t so cynical I could get past that, but I can’t forgive the insidious process through which Disney churns these movies out. As shitty as the prequel trilogy films are, you simply can’t say that they’re not imaginative, original, or creative - the unmistakable imprint of George Lucas’ mind was branded upon them, for better or worse. Whose creative mark lies upon The Force Awakens? It’s been sterilised by Disney’s corporate cloth, and watching it feels like watching a stranger rifling through someone else’s old stuff and playing ‘Star Wars’ with toys that aren’t theirs to touch. It’s not a ‘good’ film. It’s not a 7/10. It’s just okay. 

6/10

Just Okay

[bloojayoolie]

Alive, America, and Another One: 51% 1:01 PM Replies Try watching her live and not propaganda u can't be serious Like Reply 2h I've seen her live, what's the problem? Give me specifics to what makes her bad. 2h Like Reply she nodded her head to eating babies Haha Reply 2h I'm not going to entertain this argument ur clearly insane bro Like Reply 2h I'm insane for asking for source backed facts? Like Reply 2h I'm not going to waste my time on this. She insane and will lose her next election because people aren't stupid Like Reply 2h solid arguement, I now see the error of my ways and will change my stance and views. 2h Like Reply u agree with a baby killer 3rd trimester abortions? 2h Like Reply Congratulations bro I'm happy for u Like Reply 2h One day I hope u look back at ur idiotic views when u have children and be as disgusted as we are with u. When u see that growing human inside ur wife just think of ur views then give me a call. When u feel that baby moving inside her, u come talk to me and tell me u stand for this 3rd fucking trimester abortions. That's disgusting. 2h Like Reply I'm pro choice and you clearly didnt read her stance or understand others'. 3rd trimester abortions are some times required because the health of the baby and mother is at risk. I hope no one ever has to go through such a horrible situation but if they do I hope they have the choice to decide instead of people like you shunning them for personal beliefs and restricting them through the... See More Like Reply 2h u know who the founder of ur pro choice views is? The same woman who wants to eliminate you. She invented planned parenthood to kill Hispanics blacks all minorities yet all u do is promote it, and u will "never" make me feel bad for supporting a baby's life. I don't care what u say woman's rights blah blah blah in my eyes ur all disgusting killers. A woman deciding she has the right t... See More Like Reply 1h Don't worry I got propaganda too 1h Like Reply so you're not pro choice? Or you're against 3rd trimester abortions? Like Reply 1h I'm against a program that was designed to kill minorities. I believe life starts at the heart beat of 6 weeks if it takes a woman longer then that to change her mind it's too late. I believe in the day after pill and I'm not a complete nut job people make mistakes but u don't get to decide after the baby is living Like Reply 1h Go watch a video of abortion survivors and listen to there stories Like Reply 1h I've listened to abortion survivors talk about how they had to get illegal abortions because their state outlawed them. I've also listened to abortion survivors talk about the extremely difficult choice they had to make when they had to choose between their own health or the CHANCE of their baby being born. Like Reply 1h no I'm talking about survivors the fucking baby Like Reply 53m Not the mothers Like Reply 53m U use these word to justify murder it's okay whatever makes u feel above everyone elseI don't care it should be illegal and the mother should rot in prison Like Reply 50m dude if I had been aborted you wanna know how many fucks I'd give? None. I would have zero recollection of ever being born or anything ever happening. I also dont feel above anyone for any of my beliefs but sure go on with your empty accusations. Like Reply 45m That does not justify abortion 44m Like Reply Im defending a defenseless baby ur defending what? Like Reply 44m Because u don't remember it it's okay? Like Reply 43m So mean I don't remember being 2 yrs old? So who cares if my parents killed me then? Like Reply 42m This ideology is murder. There's no argument u can ever make Like Reply 41m there is actually a large arguement I can make. You act as if I'm the only one that is pro-CHOICE Like Reply 40m No one is pro choice Like Reply 40m Ur pro-MURDER Like Reply 40m say it and be proud Like Reply 39m I've already said it... I'M PRO-CHOICE 38m Like Reply One day u will see, more and more people are changing away from ur ideology it's okay only time will tell Like Reply 36m I hope u never get robbed of ur child 36m Like Reply is there actual evidence to prove that people are changing their ideology on abortion or is this another one of your "facts. Like Reply 35m the polls Like Reply 34m California and New York don't run America pal Like Reply 34m http://www.pewresearch org/topics/abortion/ PEWRESEARCH.ORG Research Center Abortion Like Reply 32m what polls are you talking about? Like Reply 32m U believe every on the internet? Like Reply 31m A Democrat will not be president in 2020 because ur all insane 31m Like Reply If u truly believe life doesn't start after a heart beat idk why I'm talking to u 30m Like Reply that's funny because I think trump has a huge chance to win because you're all inside. This picking and choosing of what is and isnt a fact is hard to follow. Who amI supposed to believe according to you? How is it that everyone has the wrong information but you somehow found all the right one? 28m Like Reply You enjoy ur pro-murder life style and one day it will effect you and destroy you But no it's not effecting u now so ur pro choice it's okay Like Reply 28m I think for myself not the bias internet 28m Like Reply I get my facts from .gov not paid off websites 28m Like Reply ok so you do have sources? Why dont you ever share them when I ask? Like Reply 27m I can clearly see from personal experiences that the baby is alive Like Reply 27m I don't need the internet to reassure me that my son is alive Like Reply 27m I'm happy that you had a healthy baby and pregnancy but not everyone does. Also, I was talking about your .Gov sources. Why don't you ever share those? Like Reply 25m Ur not going to turn this around on me over a website source l just stated I don't need the internet to reassure me. My sources use is bls.gov and Congress.gov but that's not for abortion I don't need a website to tell me it's wrong I have common sense. BLS.GOV U.S. Bureau of Labor EN Statistics 23m Like Reply Margaret Sanger is who ur backing, I'm not the one defending a woman who made a program to kill my own people Like Reply 21m It's okay to get an abortion but no it's not okay to drink liquor or do drugs? But pro choice it's her body who cares let her shoot heroin while carrying a baby. Who cares if the kids mentally disabled now it's not me. It's not my child. It's her body Like Reply 19m That's fucking insane. And u keep repeating that the woman could die from the birth. Special situations don't justify every situation Like Reply 17m you see how you're not listening but instead creating your own argument? I never said any of those things. I'm pro-choice because understand that there are situations in which women have to make unthinkable choices. Some of those are medical some are personal. We definitely believe life begins at different times so we'll just have to disagree there. But if someone decides to have an... See More Like Reply 13m when does life begin? Have u seen pictures of abortion? Do u know how it's done? Like Reply 8m This is okay? Like Reply бт бm Like Reply U stand witha congresswoman who supports that Like Reply 5m if there was something medically wrong then yes I'm perfectly fine with that. Did you miss my comment about abortion time frame? Refer to that. Like Reply 1m Someone is writing a comment... Write a reply.. GIF He deleted everything after I asked if I could could post it for internet points.

[kitto-toberu-sa]

DigiFes

It’s a long day folks. We were up at 5 to get to the venue by 7. You aren’t meant to line up until 8 and goods weren’t meant to go on sale until 10.

Heaps of people were there earlier in a somewhat orderly fashion. But management decided to fuck us all around and said we needed to line up from the opposite end of where we were. This may not seem like a big deal, but remember items are limited and resellers are a thing. This was a chance for people who arrived later to get to the front.

There was a literal stampede. People were screaming and being shoved. I was separated from my group numerous times, and only got back with them due to shoving others and the kindness of other fans who clearly realised I was with the other foreigners.

To get to the other side, management made us go in a complete circle. It was unnecessary and quite frankly, a little dangerous. It didn’t stop people who were there earlier from being close to the line, or help those who arrived on time be rewarded. It was just bad planning.

Of course, then it started raining. Umbrellas went up and if I hadn’t of been wearing glasses I would have been poked in the eye more than once. To say it was unpleasant would be an understatement.

The line slowly shuffled along. Every now and again people behind us would start pushing like mad, despite the fact that the line wasn’t moving. It was 35+ degrees Celsius, no air con, everyone was a bit hot and bothered. These jerks were not helping or doing anything to get the line moving faster.

If you follow my snapchat and/or twitter, you may have seen me mention the kindness of fans. This specifically refers to one lady in line who let me stay under her umbrella with her and who talked to me when I was separated from my friends. It also refers to another girl who kindly returned one of my badges to me.

You read that right. The lines and shoving were so bad, numerous people were having items ripped off their ita bags.

I don’t care where you’re from, that’s disgusting. It’s unnecessary, rude and disheartening. We’re all meant to be fans of the same thing and we all know some of these items are expensive or rare. The fans who were helping others get their things back were the MVPs of the day. Everyone who pushed and shoved can eat dog food for the rest of their life.

Goods started being sold early, at 9. Most likely due to the feral crowd. We were only a little over 100 people into the line, but by the time we got there, all of the keychains had sold out, as had some other items. On the other hand, by the time the first session finished, most items were sold out yet the amount of tshirts left was overflowing. Whoever did the math in the product department really needs to be fired. So many goods were gone, and the badges being so limited was honestly appalling. They want our money and Tri is a pretty blatant cash cow to the point it’s disgusting, yet they limited the badges (among others), one of the few things people are happy to buy quite a lot of, to such a small amount. Very bad planning. Lots of people were disappointed and trading was mediocre as a result.

We left the building just after 12. We’d spent around five hours lining up, buying goods and trading. We went to a supermarket and got some food, and since we had our trading stuff still out, a little girl came over to talk to us. I was with people who got Meiko badges (so many people did) and they didn’t want her, so they gave the badges to the little girl and her brother. A new set of Digi fans in the making???

I ended up trading the Koushirou acrylic stand to THE Koushirou fan. She lost her shit. In exchange I got ‘frontier no debu’ (the frontier fatty). She couldn’t remember Junpei’s name ;;; I also traded something else (Omegamon?) for LadyDevimon which is an A++++++ trade, tho the other girl was very confused as to why I wanted LDevimon. I SO regret not ordering that figure it’s sooooooo beautiful!!!! They had the prototypes for the sibling figures as well, and I can’t wait until the Yamakeru one is mine, they’re so cute!!!

For seats, I was in the fifth row, pretty much in the centre. Before you went in they had the life size AguGabu duo. One kid was like ‘um, no thanks!’ when his mum made him have a photo with them and I ended up sitting next to him. The girl on my other side was there for the first time too and pretty much cried the entire time haha

So first up was a talk and the reveal of the twitter poll. Nobody believed Jyou has a girlfriend – everyone thought that scene was the funniest moment. This happened a few times during the conversation. Every time it came up, his VA would just stand up, shrug and go I DO TOO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

Meiko got a lot of support – Junko (iirc) said she supported Meiko because ‘she moved to Tokyo from the country’. As someone who lives in rural Japan, I can totally relate! Literally nobody supported Yamato lmao

I apologise that it’s short, but it was funny and interesting, but I can’t remember a lot of specifics sorry ;;; Fans and staff were shocked Leomon died. Like, have y’all ever been involved in this franchise????

Mini live – Miyazaki then AiM. Most people are only familiar with adventure stuff tho, which is kinda sad. It is also the main focus of fes so it’s understandable.

Next was advertising. Basically the figures, Agumon being in Appmon etc. Unfortunately, they showed a lot of this pre-show while we were waiting, so it was pretty dumb and pointless unless you came in just before the show started :/

The trailer, obviously online now, made people excited. I’m hoping Hikari goes dark either because of Taichi, or she tries to fight Takeru and Taichi gets in the way and gets hurt hehe~ Nobody really spoke about it tho.

Next was the drama segment. Essentially, there’s a singing contest and the winner gets an all you can eat buffet with them and friends. Obviously, with nine kids and mons, that's a great prize! Yamato wasn’t there due to his VA being ill, which came up a few times.

They all sung their chara songs, which was a little dull tbh. If it had been last year, it would have been great promo for the cds, but this year it feels too late and they didn’t want to put effort into a full drama.

Jyou ran off because the pressure made him have a bad stomach. Gomamon tried to bring him back and failed. Gabumon tried to bring Yamato in but failed but Gabu sung. Most of the cast didn’t sing. Hikari and Gomamon sung. Takeru did as well, Patamon blew him out of the water since it’s Seiyuu was jumping around and being cute.

Mimi sung I wish iirc and then started with Super Girl. AiM came out and they duet’d. It was pretty rad and you can hear how close new Mimi is to AiM’s Mimi. Palmon was like ‘wow two Mimi’s!!’ and Koushirou was ??? a little confused by past and present versions.

Agumon’s seiyuu ROCKED Agumon Sunba and then  Agumon Ondo (fit will since it’s matsuri and obon season). I would drink with her any day of the week. The seiyuu and lifesize Agu Gabu all joined in to dance, and it was cute how some of them had no clue what they were doing.

Meikuumon also sung. Weird to see the VA do the voice change so quickly. And she’s so tall??

Anyway, Agumon won and Mimi was low key pissed. “I lost to Agumon? That’s kinda…”

Then, the new song. Aikotoba. Holy shit it’s pretty. It’s very soothing, their voices work so well together. Please buy a copy of the CD!!!! I haven’t heard a single person say they didn’t like it. Wonderful song and lyrics.

Of course, everyone sang Butterfly. They had Wada-san’s performance from the time when they announced tri, which was special. Everyone gets kinda emotional. It’s definitely a moment where everyone feels like family.

In the group photo, I can’t be seen but I can see my light stick lol Most people had red or blue, so I chose green to represent Mimi (no point in representing Yama if he isn’t there lol). So it was easy to figure out where I was haha

By the time we left it was 4ish, and by the time we got home it was 9. A very, very long day, but a mostly eventful and amazing one <3

[lisabelkin-yahoonews]

The contrarians: They didn’t vote for Trump, but they would now

Photo illustration: Yahoo News; photo: Isaac Brekken/AP

David Kord Murray, the owner of a small business-finance company in California, admits he likes to be different — “to take the contrary position.” Yet even he is surprised to have reached his latest conclusion — that while he strongly supported Hillary Clinton during the campaign, and voted for her without reservation, he now wishes he had cast that vote for Donald Trump.

“I like what he’s doing, and I wish I had voted for him,” he says. Not having supported Trump sooner, he says, makes him “feel like a coward.”

A lot has been written since Election Day about people who didn’t vote at all and wish they had because they were unhappy with the results. And a lot more has been written about those who cast their vote for the winner and came to regret it. (There is even a popular Twitter account called @Trump_Regrets with more than a quarter of a million followers.) And there is talk of hushed Trump support, people who voted for him but don’t admit that to pollsters or their social circles.

But what of those who might be called “Donny-Come-Latelys”? People who did not support the candidate on Nov. 8, but now, 100 days in, find that they do?

There are probably not a lot of them. No national polls count them in particular, but Trump’s historically low approval rating indicates there has not been a surge of conversions. They are hard to find for interviews. When Yahoo put out an invitation on social media there were far more jokes about unicorns than there were people raising their hands. “I don’t believe such a person could possibly exist” was one typical response.

They do. And their reasons for changing their minds provide a glimpse at how the messages of this young administration are being heard by one slice of the population.

Photo illustration: Yahoo News; source: seattletimes.com

Notably, most of those who shifted did so not because they came to look more favorably upon Trump but because they now look less favorably upon his opposition. As Dennis Dayley, a retiree (and Clinton voter) outside of Seattle, wrote to the Seattle Times a few days after the inauguration: “I really thought the election was between the lesser of two evils. Now, due to the negative coverage of Trump and the obvious slant against him, much of it false or misleading, the news media has successfully made a convert out of me. Congratulations! You have turned me into a Trump supporter!”

For Matt Green, a self-described libertarian in Dallas who didn’t vote at all, because he “disliked everyone” (including the Libertarian candidate), it was both the press coverage and the constant protests that changed his mind.

“The media and the left kept calling those who voted for Trump ‘racist’ and ‘misogynistic,’” he said. “I know the people who voted for him are good people. They cast their votes because they were pro-life, or pro-Second Amendment, but not because they had malice in their hearts toward immigrants. I know these people, and if I have to take sides I’m going to side with the people who I know.”

At the time, Green was an editor of a conservative website called the Rouser, and 10 days after Election Day he wrote a column for that site titled “I Didn’t Vote for Trump, But I Wish I Had.” In it he wrote, “Seeing the outrage and general disregard for decent human behavior from the left, it has become clear to me that, despite the moral downfalls of this narcissistic man, he is the best choice to take control of this country.”

For Jacob IsBell, it was all of the above — plus the violence. A musician and podcaster from Albuquerque, he did not vote the national ticket in November, though he did vote in the state and local elections. Then, in the days afterward, he watched as anti-Trump protests turned violent. When Milo Yiannopoulos was not allowed to speak in Berkeley, that was IsBell’s turning point. “Not because I support anything the guy was going to say, but I support his right to say it,” he says. “I find myself so bothered with what I view as the violent assault against free speech. It was a galvanizing event. I thought, ‘If this is what the opposition is, then I’ll pick a side.’”

On his next podcast, on Feb. 3, he spent 12 minutes on the topic “I wish I voted for Trump.” (The video of his podcast has had 42 views as of the time of this writing, two of which were by this reporter.) “Is there any greater endorsement than to be fought against by all those that are part of the establishment?” he began.

These new converts can each give you a list of things they don’t like about the man they now tentatively support. “I hate what he’s doing bringing back coal jobs that we don’t need, I hate that Kushner is in charge of all those things, I hate his general demeanor and attitude. And the Twitter stuff, it’s annoying and childish,” Green says.

“I’m very much opposed to a wall,” says IsBell, who is married, he says, to “a legal immigrant from Peru.” His four brothers are married to “legal immigrants from Mexico, the Philippines, and the Dominican Republic, and they have all learned Spanish and their children speak Spanish, except my brother whose wife is Filipina, he speaks Estonian, go figure.”

“I disapprove of his warlike actions in Syria,” IsBell continues. “I recognize that Donald Trump himself is a very arrogant, brash person. Should I go on?” Still, he says, the disapproval is “outweighed more and more by my disgust with his opposition.”

Jacob IsBell’s mother, Emily; father, Michael; youngest brother, Travis; Jacob IsBell with his son, Jojo, on his shoulders; wife, Kat; and sister-in-law Angelica (from the Dominican Republic). (Courtesy Jacob IsBell)

Murray, the California business owner, has his list of disagreements too. They are all the reasons he did not vote for Trump in the first place. “I voted for Hillary,” he says. “I think she would have been an excellent administrator and that she had, perhaps, the best résumé of any candidate in my lifetime. My concern about Trump was his lack of government experience as well as his lack of political experience, his inability to unite and ‘play politics.’

“I thought Obama did a great job,” Murray continues. “I was proud to call him my president. He had, and has, class, grace and a deep intellect. But he divided us, and the result is Trump. I’m not proud of him and his ego. But I believe the primary role of the president is as chief executive, and the primary responsibility is economic. I think Trump can make America great in terms of economics.”

And economics are most of his reasons for shifting his support. “Deregulation of business. Smaller government. Self-reliance. A respect for the hardworking women and men that built this country, and don’t want their paychecks supporting political institutions that run counter to their beliefs,” he says. As a small-business owner he believes Trump will — already has — “cut through the regulation that is killing me and my customers. I agree there should be business regulation, but it’s reached levels where it’s ridiculous.”

Still, he says, that might not have been enough to change his mind toward Trump if not for the “nastiness” of those who oppose him.

“The anti-Trump group is extremely vocal, and they don’t understand the other side,” he says. “They just can’t fathom why anybody would support Trump, and I find that frustrating and shortsighted. The anti-Trump movement seems elitist, entitled and incredibly closed-minded. Intolerance is intolerance. The Trump side seems more tolerant to me.”

He knows many will react to his opinion by calling him all sorts of names. By doing so, he says, “you’re making my point for me.”