#because there is so much more to adulthood than sex

[trash-goddess]

One of the worst things about being a teenager is being infantilized. You are expected to be (reasonably) responsible for yourself but do not have any of the respect, resources nor decision making power that comes with it such responsibilities as an adult.

Being an adult with a fully functioning brain, and the having the respect, resources, decision making power and responsibilities is a delightful experience. Taking control of my life and living on my own terms has made every aspect of my life much more manageable.

So. As a twenty four year old. Who works full time, and thus has saved and paid off my student loans. Who is capable of managing my finances, groceries, and living a healthy lifestyle. Who is by all accounts, a reasonable adult. I find myself frustrated by seeing myself described as a child who is incapable of making such decisions has become incredibly frustrating. It showcases a lack of maturity and understanding!

I refuse to be dragged back down into childhood by people who have never even met me and do not know what is best for me.

And you can take my voting rights from my cold dead hands.

[dirt-str1der]

Ocs can be so special and not reflective of yourself in any way

[sunderwight]

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.

[saerins]

°୨୧ INEVICABLY, UNDENIABLY

+ gojo satoru x f!reader | wc 3.3k | content: fluff, modern au, friends to roommates to lovers, timeskip thing; from high school -> adulthood, alcohol, implied sex, children, marriage, gojo is mostly clingy and annoying and we love him for it, the years and age correspond to his actual birthdate, take this as my birthday fic for him <3

summary: despite seemingly having it all, gojo satoru’s goal has always been the same all these years you’ve known him—all he wants in life is you, and only you. during his birthday this year, gojo counts his blessings.

2006; seventeen.

the day you agreed to be satoru’s partner in homeroom class is the day you signed away your sanity. not because satoru’s hard to get along with or that he’s rude or slacks off, but because it’s hard not to fall for a boy with such pretty eyes and even prettier lips who likes to say the most beautiful things.

getting to know satoru is like taking a deep in the clearest, coldest ocean after an entire lifetime of being dipped in molten lava. he’s annoying, refreshing and eye-opening all in one.

satoru shows promise in the first lesson, doing fairly well at cooking and sowing, although afterwards he just falls off because you end up having to teach him how to properly use alcohol in his cooking so he doesn’t burn himself or that you’d end up patching his fingers up since he accidentally pokes himself a lot more than the average human would.

still, it’s not his fault he isn’t naturally talented in the home economics department. he is in sports, you find out, after a few months of being in the same class as him.

“hey, y/n.” he’s leaning back on his chair, depending on its hind two legs for support. it’s become his habit during class to bother you whenever the teachers aren’t in.

you were assigned the seat diagonally behind him, and it’s become a habit for you to ignore him—mostly because most of the time, it’s nonsense that falls out of those lips, especially after you’d gotten close. it’s his sign of affection, you realise.

“hey y/n, i’m being serious this time, i need to talk to you,” satoru whines, pouting and sighing in that over dramatic way that only he can.

that’s also not the first time he’s tricked you into acknowledging him so all you do is look at him, a smile appearing that you failed to suppress, and bring a finger to your lips, signalling for him to hush.

unperturbed, satoru smirks and gets to scribbling on a piece of paper, folding it (annoyingly and quickly) into a swan before handing it to you. he winks at you, and you’re immediately driven not to give him satisfaction by reading it. instead, you bow slightly and stuff it in your pencil case, making satoru pout again and giving yourself the sweet taste of victory.

the rest of your sophomore year in high school, you find yourself growing closer to satoru, an unfamiliar feeling growing inside of you. you find that you like knowing what makes him tick, and even the way he says your name, or even watching him ace every kind of sport and then having him blow a teasing kiss to you after each win.

“y/n, i’m so jealous of you, how’d you manage to get gojo satoru of all people?” one of your classmates whine, swooning endlessly over him.

you only laugh it off, deigning to think too much of it.

it’s weird; he’s most of the schoolgirls’ crushes, but you’ve never considered him to be yours. maybe it’s just a fleeting feeling that will go away with the test of time.

yeah, that should be all that is.

2007; eighteen.

“why not? we’re practically going to the same college.”

with time, you thought that maybe satoru would become a little more sane. like how growing into adults, you slowly shed the ridiculous dreams you had as a child. but he’s not, if not—he’s even more insane.

“we haven’t got the results yet, satoru.”

“i’m pretty sure we’ll get in though.”

“and what’s your basis for that?”

“i’m never wrong about these.”

as always, satoru lives in his own little bubble and you can’t help but to sigh. in his head, both of you will get into that same college you applied for and he has it all planned out: “we get into college, sign up for whatever classes, and then rent an apartment together—genius right?”

that was satoru just moments ago, elbows leaned over the grocery cart as he grins at you, beaming like a dog waiting for their owner’s approval. now he’s still doing the same, except you’ve flicked him on the forehead before turning your attention to the aisles because apparently, he says he hates the food at home and would rather have what you’re cooking.

he’s made it his life mission to invade your meals over the weekend, squeezing himself into your family, bonding with your sibling and your parents and only then did you realise what you forgot in the first place: satoru is one of the most charming people to ever walk the earth. your siblings constantly ask about the next time he’s coming over, and your parents are just waiting for you to announce that he’s your boyfriend—which he’s not, but he sure likes to make it seem that way.

another thing you notice about satoru thanks to your now-weekly grocery runs: he likes to wander around way too much, and complains afterwards when he finds you after losing you.

“y/n!”

it’s like routine by now; the way satoru rushes over to you, putting his arm around your shoulder and sticking his cheek against yours, telling you how he almost died because he thought he lost you—like the drama queen he is. by now, all you can offer him is a ruffle of his hair before you carry on like normal, as though your heart isn’t beating right out of your chest from that simple proximity.

because satoru, despite his generally icy look, is always warm; his body heat, his cheeks, the way he looks into your eyes all the time, even his fingertips when they brush against you.

you think he’s especially warm when he falls asleep beside you after watching a late night movie, his head nuzzled in your neck, hands somehow rested over your own. your favourite thing about the friendship, though, try as you might to deny it, is how satoru’s hands always find yours when he walks you home, fingers lacing around your own as if it’s second nature.

ever since then, these routines have become a staple, and perhaps even does your growing feelings. the inexplicable one.

2008; nineteen.

satoru was right.

both of you did get into the same university, and the same course, with different minors so at least there’s some differences. so of course, satoru did not let the shared apartment idea go. though, of course, thanks to your initial hesitance on the matter, the only available apartment is a 4-bedroom, entirely too big and hence you’d convinced satoru to just rent the other bedrooms out for extra change.

and no, satoru does not need extra change because his family’s loaded (which you realised you didn’t even know before this) but at least this would allow you to not dwell on whatever you’re feeling too much. university is going to be stressful enough without the added consideration of your possible feelings towards satoru.

then enters geto suguru—your new roommate who, thankfully, steals enough of satoru’s attention so you have some breathing room. turns out, they’re like two peas in a pod. but while you and satoru major in business, suguru majors in psych. so that still means satoru’s around just you most of the time.

some routines change; like how movie nights are shared amongst the three of you in the living room instead of just you and satoru in your room. or how during grocery runs satoru still runs up to you when he finds you again except this time, an exasperated suguru is beside you sighing at him, always a “how do you stand this guy?” rolling off his tongue. the most surprising one for you might be how meals include suguru now and satoru’s the one who does the cooking now, and funnily enough, he’s absolutely great at it. no ounce of hesitation as he flips the pancakes, or stirs the fried rice—no whining about how it’s too hard because he’ll get burns on his fingertips and has to ask you to tend to his wounds.

but some change in a different way. they leave no room for someone else, like how satoru always finds your hands to hold on to, keeping you within a reach too close to pass as just friends but both of you refusing to label it anything else anyways. it leaves no room for other people to butt in and whisk either of you away.

and for now, at least, both of you are okay with just that.

2009; twenty.

participating in different activities and clubs inevitably mean that you and satoru wouldn’t be attached at the hip most of the time. and of course, while that leads to satoru becoming even clingier when you’re both home (not that you’re complaining when it’s nice to feel wanted from the very guy you’re completely not having a crush on), both of you are in separate social circles.

satoru occasionally has his friends over, the ones you don’t really know that well. the one where you can only remember names like haibara because he’s extra friendly and yuki because she’s one of the prettiest people you’d ever seen and nori because she’s a mix of the two. you’re nice, and cordial to all of them, although you can’t really say the same for satoru.

occasionally you and suguru invite your friends over, because nicely enough, you both have the same interests. it’s mostly shoko and nanami, a med student and law student respectively, but both of which satoru loves to annoy to no end. lucky for you, shoko is strangely naturally tolerant of his antics and nanami shrugs it off as white noise.

“y/n, surely you’d rather spend time with me rather than that blondie?” satoru always asks, pouting as he looks at you over his shoulder during breakfast—a constant whenever you have plans that involve nanami.

it’s kind of cute.

“mmm, that’s a secret,” you’d always tell him, knowing that satoru’s pouts won’t last all day anyway. it’ll relegate to an excited grin whenever you’re back after that.

you’d never really had to face your feelings, then, until all of you gather one night, before the holidays officially start. you should’ve known that something would be different this time, especially when there’s alcohol involved. naturally, in the circle you sit in, satoru asks people to scoot over, purposely sitting beside you, as close as he can, close enough that your arms and knees practically brush.

it’s just for a simple game of truth or dare, and it’s innocent enough until someone asks nanami and he says truth, and his truth is that out of everyone he knows, he’d most likely date you. beside you, while everyone else is whooping at the declaration, satoru clicks his tongue in annoyance, though he says nothing about it. and you’re not really emphatic about it until someone dares nori to kiss the guy she wants to date the most and she kisses satoru, deep and slow, in front of you, haibara letting slip that she’s had a crush on satoru for a while now.

satoru’s five shots in and tipsy and he was imagining that was you and maybe that’s why it lasted for five seconds before he pulls away.

and when it comes to satoru?

as though noticing his dilemma, suguru gives an amused smile as he states his dare, “kiss the girl you most wanna marry.”

he doesn’t waste a single second in pulling you close and kissing you, his alcohol-tainted lips pressing against yours, daring tongue teasingly prying open your lips, chuckling as he feels you kiss him back.

“not most,” satoru corrects right as the both of you pull away, his forehead still pressed against yours and both of your half-lidded pair of eyes still staring at each other.

“what?” you’re almost breathless, forgetting that everyone else is watching.

“the only girl i wanna marry.” and you think he’s never looked more handsome, genuine smile plastered on his face and pretty blue eyes threatening to pull you in.

while everyone moves on, satoru doesn’t—he keeps you there with him, telling you for the first time in four years since he’s known you, “i love you.”

the next week, after you get home for the holidays, the first time being away from satoru in a while, you manage to find your old pencil case, the folded paper swan satoru folded for you all those years ago still inside, somehow forgotten.

curious, you finally open it, finding his message enclosed inside, bringing a smile to your face.

i’m gonna marry you one day.

2010; twenty-one.

dating satoru is like finding a new hobby that you’re effortlessly good at.

despite living under the same roof, instead of finding out the ugly, you find the good in each other. even with suguru in the mix, you all live harmoniously like you have been since the start. except now, satoru likes to sleep in your room, both of you fooling around and occasionally forcing suguru to tell you to pipe down.

satoru is still full of surprises, sometimes pulling up with his car as though both of you don’t sleep under the same roof, telling you that he planned a date and to dress nice. he buys you flowers even if you’re not particularly fancy of them and surprises you by buying things that simply reminded him of you.

dating satoru is like finding out that the right person for you will always think of you and your feelings, no matter the circumstance. the way he makes sure to tell you if he has to hang around nori, or the way he asks if you need anything when he passes by the grocery store alone, or going so far as to memorise your cycle so he knows exactly what to show up back home with.

by the time it’s your one-year anniversary and his birthday comes and you ask him what he wants, all he can answer is “you” and for the first time, you can tell he isn’t trying to be annoying or cheeky or flirty—satoru is surprisingly simple and his answer always has been and somehow always will be just you.

2013; twenty-four.

you still remember the day satoru got down on one knee, his handsome smile even more radiant under the golden hour glow, those still-beautiful blue eyes gleaming even from beneath his bangs.

just an intimate proposal with your closest friends, both shoko and suguru helping to distract you in order to create a successful surprise, while nanami and haibara helped with the decorations and photography.

thanks to them, you’re laughing now, at your wedding reception, looking at all the ways you nearly found them out that day, exactly one year ago, in the form of pictures. and thanks to the best man’s toast, you find out that suguru’s always known about satoru’s feelings, and just how deep his emotions for you ran.

“i won’t forget how much he whined about y/n getting close to nanami. that was probably the one time his whining got so out of control that i wanted to stuff a pillow over his face,” suguru divulges, garnering laughs around the hall, including from you, as your new husband pouts and squeezes your hand.

thanks to that, nanami finds the need to disclose during his speech, “i have never intended to date nor had such thoughts about y/n. my truth during that game of truth or dare was simply the result of a process of elimination—” and haibara cuts him off to give a more fitting speech, fits of laughter all across the room.

that day, you steal glances at satoru, wondering how you got so lucky to be with someone who loves you so much and continuously proves so with every passing day.

“satoru?” you call to him softly that night, as you both find yourselves completely bare in the bedroom of your new apartment, one to yourselves.

his piercing blue eyes flick up to meet yours, relishing how it feels like inside of you, every time as though it’s the first. “yeah?” it’s breathy, because he’s about to lose himself.

“i love you, satoru, and only you, forever and ever,” you tell him, finally knowing that in this life, it will always be gojo satoru for you, and that it’s the same for him too.

he only chuckles, pulling you close, “forever me and you, baby, only us.”

2023; present day.

“wow, more than ten years, i think i need to give you a trophy for that, y/n.”

satoru groans, rolling his eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

beside him, suguru laughs at shoko’s comment. this time, the six of you find yourselves at a round table in a seafood restaurant during satoru’s birthday, talking about how it’s you and satoru’s tenth year together too.

“i’m not too much, am i?” satoru teasingly asks you, although you only shrug in amusement before drinking your glass of water as an excuse not to answer.

you’ve always been like that, but it’s part of what satoru likes about you. scratch that, he’s loved every part of you since he met you. it’s like it was meant to be; or so he likes to think. there’s an undeniable pull that always lulls him back to you. to satoru, there’s never been question that you’re the only one for him, maybe that’s why it’s so clear-cut.

“you’re just so head over heels for me, huh?” you ask him, a smug grin on your face, the conversational context something he’s missing since he’s been zoning out in his thoughts.

since the first time he saw you, he’s been drawn to you every second of every day. maybe that’s why he did all those stupid stuff like pretending not to be able to cook and ‘accidentally’ burning himself to get you to tend to him, or purposely pricking himself with the needle and asking you to put a plaster over it just to feel you close. even those times at the supermarket when he purposely loses you so he can find you again and see your helpless smile and feel the way you rub his head affectionately afterwards.

maybe it’s stupid too, how he had to silently admit he knows how to cook all too well because he didn’t want suguru to taste your cooking when he first moved in. it was something satoru felt he wanted to himself, something he wanted to keep between him and his future wife. or how a wordless stare between him and suguru during that game of truth or dare was all suguru needed to know that satoru wanted to make you his at that very second, afraid that kiss between him and nori would make you hesitant.

he shouldn’t have underestimated you though, because you know him better than most people do. there were never any pointless arguments or unrecoverable friction.

as they sing happy birthday annoyingly loud like best friends do, chanting for him to make a wish—his hands find yours again as they always did, he can honestly say that there’s no other way he’d rather live his life. you’re made for him and he has you and the little mini yous at home so really, there’s nothing that he has to wish for.

except, maybe, one thing, if he could be selfish.

in this life, and every other life, he’ll want to be with you and only you, forever.

[dollyyun]

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬' 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟔.𝟐

SYNOPSIS: Your heart and mind remain in an agonising dissonance, and this time, you choose rationality over what your heart desires most, even if it is slowly killing you. But you have underestimated their determination in luring you back to them, which leads to you rebelling against your initial resolution as you fail to resist your darkest temptation. So when the tension finally snaps, you find yourself back to square one, and this time, you fear that there is no way out to elude their intoxicating, dark allure once more.

PAIRING: non!idols enha hyung line x fem!reader

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), college au, semi-adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.

WORD COUNT: 20k

WARNINGS: profanities, explicit themes, angst, mention of violence, mention of death, alcohol consumption, mention of violence, manipulation, corruption, toxicity, smuts.

PLAYLIST: Touch It - Ariana Grande, everytime - Ariana Grande, Glad You Came - The Wanted, Come My Way - PLVTINUM, Breakin' Dishes - Rihanna, S&M - Rihanna, 2 On (feat.ScHoolboy Q), Lights Down Low - Maejor (feat. Waka Flocka Flame), Wet the Bed - Chris Brown, Candy - Doja Cat.

PREV (PART 6.1) | NEXT (PART 6.3) ✘ SERIES MASTERLIST ✘

-smut warnings under cut-

smut warnings: unprotected sex (no!), name calling, spitting kink, biting kink, degradation, manhandling, bondage (handcuffs), blowjobs, throat-fucking, fingering, nipple play, pussy slapping & eating, anal, double penetration, edging, crying, squirting, creampies, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, threesomes, fivesomes kinda towards the end(?), MxM in action(mild).

The ray of moonlight filtering through your window casts a gentle radiance in the solitude of your room, enveloping you in a dim illumination as you are stagnantly seated on the edge of the bed, already having been promptly dressed up in a simple off-shoulder beige sweater complementing your dark chequered skirt.

Much to your disgruntlement, your best friends vehemently insist on bringing you out with them to have some drinks, and you recognise their intention of wanting to cheer you up upon noticing your disheartened spirit.

You hear the animated bustle of your best friends leaking through your ajar door, but you remain unmoving from your position with an air of pensiveness emanating from you as you grapple with emotions that have been in an unabating turbulence within you ever since you left the palace.

It has been two days since you last saw any of the guys, two days since you established your firm resolution to avoid the guys like the plague, including ignoring their persistent calls and texts, and thankfully they have never made any visits to your dorm. Even if they had, your best friends probably wouldn’t have allowed them to see even a glimpse of your face.

You know that you acted of your accord by fleeing them for the sake of your sanity, but at the same time, you hate it. You hate it that your heart aches tremendously from being apart from them for two long agonising days.

It is genuinely frustrating because instead of the distance giving you space to cogitate, it seems to be driving you to the brink of your sanity, especially when your mind and heart stand in juxtaposition, where one is rationalising you with a litany of reasons why you should depart from their lives permanently as soon as possible while the other unwaveringly yearns for them with a palpable vehemence for as long as it remains beating.

Adding to your predicament, questions have been gnawing on the walls of your mind and keeping you awake at night, rendering you restless rather than weary despite the scant amount of sleep. Questions that mainly centred around Jinae and her death.

Having gained knowledge about her death is not enough. You have a strong desire to unravel the explicit truth about her history with the guys, but the guys didn’t provide you the answers you sought the last time you saw them, and you have yet to ask your best friends considering you have been holed up in your room for most of the time to wallow in your thoughts and emotions.

Heaving a sigh, you decide to cease your rumination, but when your gaze lands on your phone next to you, an idea pops into your mind before you quickly grab your phone. Maybe the idea is preposterous after having been informed by Jake that it was highly possible that whoever the anonymous texter was was responsible for the incident, but desperation is gnawing at you.

With slightly trembling fingers, you begin to type away on your phone, your lips tucking between your teeth and your eyebrows furrowing.

Y/N: If you’re still there, I want answers about what happened three years ago.

After pressing send, you wait, and it’s not even a few minutes before you receive a reply.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I presume that it’s about Jinae. Since I’m feeling nice, I’ll indulge you, but before I proceed, are you sure you’re prepared? Because what I’m about to tell you depicts her death, as in how she died. Y/N: Considering what I’ve recently been through, yes, I’m prepared. UNKNOWN NUMBER: Since you obviously knew that your four beloved knights were responsible for her death, you should know that before they killed her, they took pictures and videos of her for the times she fucked around with them. Y/N: Was it consented? UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, and that’s not even the worst part. They uploaded those sex tapes to our official Devil’s Knights social media accounts across Instagram and Twitter. Jinae became a laughing stock on campus. Almost everyone, especially our own knights, dehumanised her at every chance they got.

A part of you refuses to believe him, but you can’t ignore the unpleasant churn in your tummy.

Y/N: My best friends told me that there were speculations going around on campus back then about Jinae doing something to piss off the four leaders greatly. UNKNOWN NUMBER: That’s correct. Y/N: So what did she do? UNKNOWN NUMBER: She did nothing, that’s the thing. All she ever wanted was to be loved, but her wanting that love ended up in their palace, where she was found dead in the bathroom. Her throat was slit open. Vulgar words were incised deep on the flesh on her thighs and arms. It was a bloody fucking mess.

“Oh my god.” You cover your gasping mouth with your trembling hand while your eyes glisten with tears, feeling utterly revolted at this discovery with horror plastering on your face. The four leaders did that to her? 

Before you can dwell and get pulled by the whirlpool of torrential emotions, you pour your focus on another matter that has piqued your curiosity just earlier.

Y/N: The way you spoke of her, it seemed like you knew her closely. UNKNOWN NUMBER: As a matter of fact, I did. Y/N: Who was she to you? UNKNOWN NUMBER: She was….someone who I cherished deeply.

Your curiosity has reached its peak, wondering what their relationship was, but the axis of your attention tilts when another matter arises, or rather, something that perhaps he unintentionally let slip.

Y/N: Earlier, you mentioned that they uploaded those sex tapes on your official Devil’s Knights social media accounts, and you said ‘our’. So does this mean that you’re a devil’s knight?

This time, however, he doesn’t reply straight away, which confirms your suspicion. Just as you are about to send him another message, you hear your name being called from outside your room.

“Y/N, are you ready?” Yunjin pushes open the door, and as expected from the fashionista of the group, she is dressed impeccably.

You offer her a tight smile in return as you rise from the bed and shove your phone into your sling purse. “Question: Do I really have to go?”

“Of course, you do.” Wonyoung waltzes into your room, her eyes scanning your overall fit in appreciation before she interlocks her arm with yours. “Besides, it isn’t healthy to be holed up in your room all day. You need some fresh air.”

“And some drinks.” Karina emerges from behind Yunjin. Her alluring eyes narrow at you just when you open your mouth to retort. “Be thankful that you get to even drink, whereas I, on the other hand, can’t since I'll be the one driving you a lot."

“I didn’t even say anything.” You murmur, making a face at Karina, before Wonyoung proceeds to drag you with her, trailing behind the other two.

All the while you’ve resorted to silence, your mind keeps drifting off to the messages earlier.

Out of all the bars, they chose to bring you to the very same bar where you had a rather interesting and salacious encounter with Sunghoon, and you swear it only feels like yesterday he was an insufferable asshole cornering you and trapping you in the gents washroom.

Warmth weaves across your cheeks as you reminisce about him leaving his mark on you while you grind your core against his unabashedly before shaking your head at the recollection and taking aggressive sips of your cocktail, earning yourself odd stares from your best friends as they put a pause to their conversation.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Karina resumes, shifting your attention to her after spacing out in your own bubble. A grin smears across her scarlet lips. “Us seniors are invited to an exclusive yacht party hosted by the Devil's Knights tomorrow.”

“A yacht party? Sign me up.” Yunjin beams with a smile, raising her glass of margarita near her lips. “God, I’ve always wanted to go to a yacht party.”

“That sounds fun, but…” Wonyoung trails her gaze over to you, a glinting concern in her eyes as she examines the expression on your face. “Y/N, if you don’t want to go─”

“Are you kidding? No way am I going to miss out on a yacht party.” You are surprised at the conviction in your tone, and it is as though you have gained a newfound vitality, probably because of the cocktail.

The three ladies exchange a wary look of knowingness between each other before Yunjin decides to speak up, her voice carrying an air of cautiousness. “But it’s hosted by the Devil's Knights, which means the chances of you bumping into any of them are high.”

“So?” You shrug your shoulders, your mask of indifference obscures the incessant jittery and flutters in you. You place your now-empty glass on the marbled countertop. “I plan on avoiding them anyway. Besides, I’m not about to let them ruin my party spirit.”

Wonyoung heaves a sigh, conceding as she recognises the unyielding determination in your sharp eyes. “As long as you don’t force yourself into this.”

“Don’t worry. I genuinely want to attend and party with my girls.” You reassure her with a soft smile that seems to dispel her doubts. The smile on your lips falters as you feel abruptly compelled to open up another conversation. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you girls about this. Is it true that before Jinae died, the four leaders uploaded unconsented pictures and videos of her?”

The three ladies slowly nod their heads, casting shadows over their sombre features. Karina raises her eyebrow inquisitively at you. “How did you know? Did they tell you?”

“Sort of.” You lie through your teeth, looking down at your hands briefly. “I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s just─” A staggered sigh leaves your lips. “Everything is just so complicated. I want to find out more and get them to tell me the truth of their side of the story, but at the same time I don’t want to be around them any longer.”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Yunjin insists, but you still feel bad for dampening the lighthearted mood in the air around you.

You rise from your seat and cast them a tight smile. “You girls continue where you left off. I’m just going to take a breather outside.”

“Do you need me to come?” Wonyoung offers, almost getting ready to stand, but you stop her with a head shake, declining her offer.

“I need some time alone. Plus, you did tell me that getting fresh air is good for me.” You attempt to jest, adorning a lopsided smile, which seems to convince her, and so you begin to navigate your way around the bar.

As expected on a Friday night, the establishment is thronged with other customers, and unbeknownst to you, a certain someone, who has been watching you since the moment you huddled with your best friends at the back corner, follows you from behind.

The nightly breeze greets you as soon as you step out of the establishment. Ambling on the concrete pavement, you rub your cold hands together, your eyes staring into oblivion as your mind is finally free of muddling thoughts, or perhaps for a short-lasting moment, because not too long later, a familiar voice shatters the much-needed tranquilly.

“You should really be careful walking around alone at night.” His mellow voice prompts you to halt your steps while your heart nearly lurches in your chest.

When you turn around, you gasp softly, startled by the close proximity between you and him as you catch a strong whiff of his familiar cologne that has long since embedded itself in your mind.

He easily ensnares you just by his penetrating dark eyes, locking you in place, while you go slightly breathless at the gorgeous sight of him, bare of his signature cap that allows his magenta-red strands to fall over his brows and the black leather coat complementing his overall fit.

“Heeseung.” You breathe out, forgetting for a moment that you are supposed to keep your distance from him. You immediately compose yourself, narrowing your eyes at him in suspicion. “What are you doing here? And how did you know where I was?”

“The tracker Jake installed on your phone.” Heeseung answers calmly, ignoring the scoff of disbelief falling from your lips. “I’ve been following you and watching you from afar inside the bar.”

“So now you’re stalking me.” Sarcasm laces your tone. “Seriously, Heeseung. That’s creepy. Did you not hear the part where I said that we’re over the other day?”

Heeseung takes you by swift surprise as he closes the gap, causing you to back away from him while he is relentless with his dark eyes drilling into yours. “We’re not over, and we’re never over.” His low, husky voice sends shivers down your spine.

A whimper threatens to leave your lips, feeling greatly intimidated by his imposing figure as he unrelentingly backs you up until you hit the wall behind you. With his outstretched arm, he plants his palm next to your head, ensuring that there is no escape for you while the wall next to you completely hinders you from mapping other possible ways to evade him.

“Heeseung.” You utter his name shakily, and just like that, your resolve melts under the intensity of his handsome gaze while his strong cologne and the dark ambience he exudes overwhelm you. “Hee, please─”

“You told Sunghoon that you needed space, and we granted that. Two long fucking days.” Heeseung nearly growls out, his jaw clenching and his hot breath fanning just above your lips. “If this is your way of punishing us, then congrats, sweetheart, because you’ve successfully made me the most desperate man alive.”

The tension sizzling through the air around you is so close to snapping that you can feel it in your veins, especially when your eyes flicker down to his pink lips. Heeseung sees this — the look in your eyes yearns for him to kiss you — but he refrains from caving into the temptation, even when your glossed lips look kissable.

“Don’t torture us with your distance anymore, beloved.” His voice drops to a low husk, matching the way his dark allure is serenading you. “The guys missed you. I missed you.”

Your chin wobbles with sadness as you release a shaky sigh, your eyes glistening beautifully with tears under the moonlight cascading down on the secluded, desolate street. “I’m scared, Hee.” The raw vulnerability shines through in the soft manner in which you speak, admitting it to him with sincerity. You look away from his eyes, the tremor in your voice is palpable. “I’m scared of you.”

It is as though a searing stab of a knife plunges into his beating heart at your admission, causing his heart to ache tremendously while his flinty demeanour starts to mollify.

“What?” He whispers, horrified, before finding his voice again, and this time there is a discernible crack of emotion. “No, no, no, sweetheart─” He seems frantic, cradling your face with his callous palms while his eyes hold such desperation as you weakly attempt to push him away. “I’ve never wanted you to be afraid of me for the wrong reasons. Please don’t be afraid of me, beloved.”

“How am I supposed to do that when I don’t trust you?” You whimper, falling weaker against your resistance as you gradually melt into his touch.

“I would never hurt you. Never in a million years.” He states emphatically, his dark eyes displaying promises as he leans his forehead against yours. “Your life is precious to me, beloved. How could I live on if you were no longer there with me?”

“You could still live on because I’m not that special.” You counter, and your voice shakes with a bundle of emotions that threatens to implode. “You can easily have other girls─”

“But they’re not you.” Heeseung punctuates each word with vehemence, his lips now ghosting yours while you shiver at the contact of his cold metal lip ring grazing across your bottom lip, tempting you to close the gap. “I’ve given you my heart since I first saw you years ago, sweetheart. You own me, my body, my heart, and my fucking soul.” 

His confession is all it takes for you to cave into your temptation, and before you know it, you close the gap and press your lips into his. An electrifying sensation ignites in the fervent exchange of your kisses as he presses you up against the wall while his hand deftly grabs your thigh to raise it and hold it against his hip.

Your hands go winding in his hair, your fingers tugging and pulling at the strands as you are consumed by the fiery passion of his kisses, eliciting a breathy moan from him before the sound of low rumbles emits from his chest as he asserts dominance, deepening the kiss to the point where you can feel an indent caused by his lip ring. 

Heeseung thrusts his tongue into your mouth, exploring every inch that he has missed and swallowing every moan emerging from your throat as you feel his prominent bulge pressing directly against the heat of your throbbing cunt.

“Hee.” You pant like a dog as soon as he pulls away, only to map his kisses down your skin while you arch your neck for him to gain better access. Your lidded eyes are threatening to close every now and then, while breathy moans leave your lips as he kisses and licks your sensitive spot.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, you have no idea.” He rasps against your sheeny skin due to his saliva. He trails his kisses upward and reclaims your lips in a searing kiss that has you grinding your cunt against his bulge. “I know, pretty.” He continues to murmur in between kisses, and his heart swells at the pretty mewls you release. “I know you’ve missed me too.”

The fear of anyone stumbling upon you two making out in the open has completely dissipated from your mind. You know that you have fallen deep when you decide to indulge the forbidden desire in the depths of your heart for this man once again. Maybe there really is no escape from this — from him, from them.

After what feels like eternity, Heeseung pulls away from the mind-blowing kiss, much to your disappointment. The swollenness of his pink lips matches yours as you gaze at him with dazed eyes, breathing so raggedly from the intense passion of your kisses that you didn’t think you would need air at all. Just his lips.

Heeseung sighs, bringing his hand to cradle your face. His touch is a familiar reverence that aches yearningly in your heart, as does his gaze. “There’s another reason why I followed and watched you.” His tongue glides across his moist lips. “I didn’t want the same thing to happen to you when you were kidnapped that night. It’s the reason why I needed to make sure you’re always on our radar.”

You look away from him, feeling the loss of his defeated touch on your face at the apparent detachment in the way you are being. You are caught up in a vindictive whirlwind of emotions once more, but without a doubt, you can’t deny that his words impact you.

You release a sigh, still not looking at him, as you prepare yourself to head back into the bar to find your best friends. “I should go.” You utter dryly before brushing past him.

“Wait.” Heeseung stops you as his hand latches on your wrist, prompting you to look over his shoulder. “Go on a ride with me.”

Hesitation flickers in your gaze. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You murmur.

“Please, sweetheart? Just this one night.” Heeseung’s desperation in wanting to keep you close to him shines through in the way he has been pleading in one night, which is fucking ridiculous to him as he has never plead to any girl, but you are undeniably his biggest weakness.

Receiving your silence, Heeseung gently pulls you closer and raises your hand to place a tender kiss on your palm while your heart swells at his familiar gesture of affection. “I'll bring you back to your dorm after that. Just for tonight, trust me, please?”

“Okay.” You acquiesce softly, ignoring your rationality in pushing him away, but just one night won’t hurt you enough to cave into your yearning.

Not long later, you find yourself seated behind him on his thunderous, sleek motorbike, riding against the cold, vindictive wind with your arms wrapped around his waist as he picks up the velocity. Just like that, all your problems are ensnared in the wind as you bask in the familiarity of your closeness with him.

Three hours of the road journey to the marina granted you sufficient sleep in the car after having been sleep deprived for the past few days, but even in your slumber, the memory of Heeseung’s touch, lips, and warmth that cascaded over you last night arose in your mind. No words were exchanged even when he kept his promise and dropped you off at your dormitory, only his lingering stare on your elusive demeanour when you finally drifted away from him.

Refusing to dwell on last night any longer, you shift your attention, and this time, any worries or distress dissipate as your eyes take in the magnificent sight of four mega-luxurious yachts docked at the marina with the azure ocean glistering under the sun rays cascading down from the celestial firmament.

It is all simply breathtaking, rendering you awestruck as you remain cemented in your spot, drawing amused attention from your inner circle group of people that have wholeheartedly welcome you back upon seeing your sparkling eyes and your agape mouth as you are still staring at the panoramic view.

“Y/N! Come on!” Winter’s calling pulls you out of the trance, and when you finally look at them and heed your surroundings, you spot other seniors of your batch splitting in random groups as they board the awaiting yachts, although not all of the seniors are present.

“So how do we know which yacht we’re supposed to board?” You inquire as soon as you manage to catch up with your girls, huddling in groups as you make your way to the docks.

“Good question.” Karina muses, her eyes darting to the knights stationed by the docks, as they seem to be guiding and assisting the guests. “Let me ask one of them.”

“Maybe it’s up to us which yacht we want to board.” Chaewon voices out, earning a few hums of agreement from the rest of the girls.

You scratch your non-itchy scalp as the contortion on your face twists with uncertainty. “Just to be safe, let’s just ask the knights─” A shadow looms over yours from behind, prompting the girls to look at the tall male.

“Actually, Chaewon’s right. You can choose the yachts of your liking, but better be quick because we’ll be departing from the marina soon.”

For some reason, his voice greatly startles you, causing your heart to lurch in your chest before you turn around to look at him. Beomgyu looks as charming as ever with the dazzling smile on his fine countenance. His onyx hair looks shorter than the last time you ever saw him.

“Awesome!” Your girls begin to erupt into excitement as they promptly discuss amongst each other whether to be separated or not since not all of them want to board the yacht, which differs from the other’s choice.

Upon noticing your eyes fixated on his face and your oddly resounding silence, Beomgyu shifts his attention to you, and it takes everything in you to refrain from flinching despite the warmth of his dark brown eyes gleaming with kindness, which is completely perplexing because why does your stomach churn unpleasantly being in his vicinity when he did nothing but show kindness to you?

“It’s been a while, Y/N.” Beomgyu strikes up a friendly conversation with you while your intuition is telling you to move out of his vicinity, especially in the way his eyes rake all over your body as you are adorned in a short sundress. “You look nice.”

“Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.” You reciprocate, adorning an awkward smile on your glossed lips as you begin to discreetly shift uncomfortably under his gaze. Hearing the drifting commotion of your girls, you clear your throat, looking away from him. “I’m just going to follow them─”

“Y/N, wait.” Beomgyu stops you, his touch on your skin as he grabs your wrist sends you a jolting sensation that intensifies the churn in your tummy. When you look at him with curious eyes, you notice something shifts in his demeanour — a fleeting of passing darkness that sends alarming signals to your brain.

Just when Beomgyu decides to speak, Soobin emerges from behind him and drapes his arm around Beomgyu’s shoulder lazily. “We’ve been waiting for your ass to board. What’s the hold-up?” Soobin doesn’t seem to notice you yet, or maybe he simply disregards your existence, but nevertheless, you are thankful for his intervention.

“Just catching up with the lovely Y/N Kang.” Beomgyu tells him, his eyes never straying from your delicate features. His statement finally draws Soobin’s attention to you just as you are about to head over to your girls.

“Y/N! Good to see you alive and well.” Soobin acknowledges you, a smirk smearing across his lips, while something in the way he is eyeing you unnerves you. Above all, you can’t help but discern a double meaning in his words. “Do enjoy the party. Just be careful of the sharks if you ever fall into the ocean.”

You frown at his snarky remark that oozes wicked sarcasm. “Thanks for the advice?”

Beomgyu seems dissatisfied with the way he smacks his best friend in the back of his head before shooting you an apologetic smile and dragging Soobin with him, heading over to the second yacht.

Ignoring the fact that you feel disturbingly weirded out by them, you proceed to head over to the girls, having been informed by Wonyoung that they’ll be splitting up into two groups, and not moments later, you finally boarded the fourth yacht, squeezing your way through the throng of people and eventually losing sight of your girls.

The instant the yacht makes its first departure from the dock, you lose momentum in your balance due to the yacht in motion, and the abrupt shove from someone behind you sends you tumbling forward.

You snap your eyes close as you brace yourself for the impact, but nothing comes. Instead, a pair of strong arms wrap around your unbalanced figure, holding you steady while you are staggered into shock as the familiar cologne infiltrates your senses. You had been hoping that you wouldn’t bump into any one of them sooner.

“Lovely.” His concerned voice prompts you to recover as you slowly lock eyes with him, and from your peripheral vision, it seems that the others in your vicinity pay no mind to you while you remain unmoving from his embrace. His warm brown eyes soften as he scans you. “Sweetheart, are you alright?”

Although you have heard the familiar endearment from Heeseung countless times, to hear from him sends a jarring sensation through you while incessant butterflies are in their wake. Your eyes betray you when they rake over his appearance, while warmth weaves across your rosy cheeks.

The button-down printed blouse draping his physique allows a sneaking peek of his toned chest, and the snake tattoo is inked on his right collarbone, while a chain necklace is hooked around his neck. His dark hair is tied back into a man-bun with a few long strands hanging by the sides of his face frame, and this new look of his arouses something so familiar in you. God, does he look so deliciously handsome.

“I-I’m fine.” You stammer, flustered by the mixed emotions pouring down on you, and the arousing lust in your core just by the mere sight of him feels so profound that you wish to whisk him away from here and for him to fuck you good.

“Are you sure?” He asks, a frown adorning his pink plump lips, that you so badly want to kiss. He scans his surroundings while still holding you close. “It’s getting crowded here. We can head down to the basement or the second floor if you want.”

Just before you can give him your answer, the recollection of how uncharacteristically rough he was back at the church, as does the other night where he displayed his callousness towards you, impels you to evade his embrace, and the hurt flashing in your eyes just briefly captures his keen attention before you look away from him.

“I’m fine going without you. Besides, I’ll be searching for my friends as well.” You mutter dryly, preparing to flee from him, but he prevents you from doing so when his hand latches on your wrist before pulling you with him. “Jaeyun!”

Jake ignores your disbelieving call as he continues to haul you towards the flight of stairs that leads to the second floor, and in the midst of it, you manage to catch sight of Wonyoung, Yunjin, and Karina in their socialite element, mingling around with the other guests amiably before you avert your gaze as Jake guides you to the second floor, and just when you think he is done, he pulls you with him towards another flight of stairs.

A whine escapes you before you can control yourself, panting slightly from having to climb up the stairs. “Jaeyun!” It seems that he notices your exhaustion, because the next thing you know, he carries you in a bridal style with ease while you let out a surprised yelp.

“Where are we even going?” You ask, completely bewildered by his moves. Jake takes a side glance at your scowling face fleetingly before refocusing on climbing these stairs, his arms encircling your body protectively. 

“To the top.” His answer doesn’t satisfy you, but nevertheless, you succumb to defeat, relaxing your taut body in his warm embrace that feels uncannily like home to you while your fingers fiddle with the sling of your purse.

As soon as you reach the top, you hear distinctive commotions around you, prompting you to catch sight of the other three yachts that are in the same motion as the yacht you are on. Jake carefully sets you down to your feet, whereas you become distracted by the breathtaking panorama of the ocean and the cerulean skies that remind you of those beautiful masterpieces of painted canvas. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Jake speaks up, his enamoured eyes never leaving your awestruck face, and no doubt his remark is directed at you, because fuck, you are glowing as the sun rays bathe you while the wind in your hair moves in a wavy motion, adding a more cinematic beauty to you.

But when you finally divert your attention to him, he frowns at the familiar hurt glinting in your eyes, which he saw earlier. Whatever he did wrong, he intends to fix it.

“So that’s about it, right?” You quip, looking away from him. “Thanks for bringing me up here when I never asked, but I’ll get going now.”

Having already predicted your moves, Jake deftly blocks your way with his figure, completely undeterred by your glaring eyes at him. “Tell me what I did wrong. Let me fix it.” The resolution is accentuated in his warm brown eyes, which you have grown to love whenever he stares at you, either fondly or intensely with lust.

“I don’t want to do this with you, Jaeyun.” You say, and you can feel yourself going weaker the longer his eyes bore into you with an intense longing. “I’m here to have fun with my best friends, and I won’t allow any of you to ruin that.”

Jake blocks your way again, eliciting an irritated sigh from you, but he cuts you off, throwing you off guard by the stark desperation in his demeanour. “And I’m here to fix what I broke. I can’t delay this any longer, so please, sweetheart.” He lowers the pitch of his voice as he steps closer to you. “Tell me, what can I do for you to return to me?”

You clench your fist, refraining yourself from being persuaded by the emotions swimming in his eyes, looking at you as if you’re his whole world. “You can start off by giving me space.” You immediately brush past him, but Jake is not having any of that, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back at him.

“I’ve given you enough fucking space, and you have no idea how close I was to going insane over your absence.” Jake’s eyes burn into yours, deflating you completely. His grasp on you feels firmer, but not enough to hurt you. “Please, sweetheart, you’re killing me with your detachment.”

You look away from him, not wanting him to see the tears glistening in your eyes that derive from the ache in your bleeding heart at the palpable desperation in the tremor of his voice. “I hate it.” You whisper, laying your vulnerability bare in his eyes.

“Tell me.” He says firmly, pulling you close with your clenched fist now in contact with his toned chest. Upon your persisting avoidance, he seizes your chin, gently turning your head to face him while the intensity of his gaze softens at your glistening eyes. 

“Hit me, bruise me, I don’t care. Be mad at me at a shorter distance where I can see you. Just don’t shut me out and leave me again. I─” His voice shakes while the fear of abandonment that instilled in him morphs into pain in his eyes. He interlaces your fingers with his before kissing the back of your hand. “I can’t imagine my future without you in it, love.”

The mental restraint you forced upon yourself finally implodes, springing more tears to your eyes as his words leave an impact so profound on you. “I hate that I can’t predict you. You’re sweet and gentle for one moment, but the next, you’re the opposite. I don’t know which version of you is true, Jae.” Your voice shakes as you confess. “The day at the church, you fucked me like you were really punishing me, and you even called me your well-trained slut like you meant it.”

You cut him off just when he opens his mouth, needing him to hear what you have been keeping inside ever since while a fallen tear escapes the corner of your eye. “You’ve never called me such names whenever we had sex, and my Jaeyun would never call me his slut like he meant it.” You force a whimper down in your throat. “My sweet Jaeyun. Right now, I don’t know which Jaeyun you are.”

“I’m right here, love. I’ve never left.” Jake reassures you frantically, his palms cradling your face as you shake your head, refusing to believe him. He closes the gap between your faces until his nose grazes against yours affectionately, while his breath fans above your upper lip as he pleads softly. “Please, sweetheart, I’m still your sweet Jaeyun.”

“Prove it.” You demand in a whisper, feeling lightheaded by the close proximity. You can see it in his eyes as your words ignite something ablaze in him. You allow your lips to brush lightly against his as you whisper, “If you’re still my sweet Jaeyun, you gotta prove─”

Jake silences you with his lips pressing into yours hard while his arm cages around your waist, pulling your body closer to his, and the other cradling the back of your head with a familiar reverence. You melt like butter in the familiarity of his warm embrace at the exchange of your fervent kisses.

Your arms slither their way to his shoulder before draping them lazily, and without breaking the lip lock, he manoeuvres you to the velvety couch in a swift motion with your back pressed down on the cushion as he hovers over you.

“Please don’t hate me.” He murmurs against your parted lips, nearly whimpering out, which has your heart clenching. “I can’t bear the thought of you hating me, love. Don’t hate me anymore, please.” He reclaims your lips in a searing kiss, poking his tongue into you before you wholeheartedly welcome him, allowing him to claim every inch of you.

“Jaeyun.” You gasp for air as soon as he pulls away and maps his kisses down to your neck while you instinctively arch your back, rolling your eyes to the back and panting heavily as his lips on your skin feel scorching. “We should stop. Someone might come up and see us.” You manage to utter out before nearly moaning out at the sensation of his teeth sinking into the sensitive spot on your neck.

Despite his strong libido to take you right here and now, Jake concedes, as he doesn’t wish to displease you, and so he detaches his lips from your skin only to slot them over yours, giving you a lingering kiss that reflects the depths of his feelings for you.

Knowing that you need to gasp for air again, Jake pulls away from you just enough for his lips to ghost yours, his eyes fluttering open to gaze deeply into your nearly blown-out pupils as you breathe heavily.

“I promise I won’t do what you hate anymore.” He murmurs, hovering his lips over to press a deep kiss on your cheek before he decides to lean his weight on your body while being careful enough not to suffocate you. “I’ll be gentle and sweet.”

Your heart flutters at the sensation of his thumb stroking your cheek with affection. “You can be rough with me, but just don’t call me names like that again.” You say softly, melting on the inside with the utter adoration in his warm brown eyes that are boring into yours.

Jake raises his eyebrow inquisitively. “So the others are allowed to call you names except me?”

“They’re…different, just as you are.” You lean further into his touch, adorning a smile so sweet that it tempts him to kiss the dimple on your cheek. You pat his cheek gently. “Because you’re my sweet Jaeyun.”

Jake unfurls a soft yet wolfish grin that accentuates his charming countenance, having grown addicted to and loving the way you call him yours. He grabs your hand to place a kiss on your palm, his adoring eyes never leaving yours. “I am your sweet Jaeyun. Yours forever.”

It feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders after the unanticipated event that transpired earlier with Jake, and that grants you the freedom to enjoy the rest of the party without another pending problem adding weight to your strained, distressing mind.

A breathy chuckle leaves your lips as you recall the endearing pout on Jake’s lips when you decided to cease your prolonged make-out session to find your best friends and the fact that anyone could have stumbled upon you at any moment of time unannounced. Nevertheless, you parted ways with him, especially since the other knights were looking for him.

The boisterous commotion from the riotous guests shatters your reverie, prompting you to trail your gaze to the impressive inflatable water slides, which the professional crew members at each yacht have diligently set up not too long ago, and catch sight of your fellow senior guests in their swimming attires as they engage themselves in the luxurious entertainment that the devil’s knights have offered.

Heck, you are even flabbergasted when you have been informed by Jake earlier that just below each yacht’s basement is stored with a few jet skis, which you didn’t really believe until you finally see them for yourself as you now spot recognisable knights riding the jet skis along the ocean with zeal.

Presently, all four yachts are berthed adjacently with the main deck facing each other, which enables the guests’ liberties to pursue whatever they want, be it to dive into the ocean and swim with the others or even head over to each dock and socialise with the other guests. Considering this is your first time ever attending a yacht party, it has completely exceeded your expectations.

“Y/N! Let’s go!” Winter, whose exuberance you have dearly missed, calls out for you over the booming speaker that is playing a felicitous song to enliven the vibrancy teeming in the atmosphere. 

You look over to her, spotting some of the other girls along with her, all of whom are adorned in distinct bikinis, prompting you to look down at yours. Much to your surprise, you were willing to display yourself in a cute pink floral bikini set just when Karina and Yunjin dragged you into one of the guest rooms here with the intention of persuading you to join the watersports fun. You refuse to hold yourself back from anything today, even when there are lingering doubts in your head. You deserve to have fun after the shit you've been through.

Chugging down on your fruit punch, you toss the red plastic cup in the trash and meander your way to your friends by the stairs before they proceed to head to the second floor with you trailing behind them. You have no idea what they want to do, but you decide to go with the flow.

“Don’t forget to wear your life jackets for those who can’t swim.” As expected from the mother of the group, Wonyoung reminds the group as she busily fastens the life jacket around her petite form. Looking over to you, her eyebrows furrow. “Y/N, you don’t need one?”

You shake your head, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m good. I can swim.” Or at least you hope, but it isn’t entirely a lie. Your father used to bring you out for swimming, and he was the one who taught you. Just the thought of your father causes your heart to ache.

It isn’t long later, after queuing for the slide, that you, Winter, and Wonyoung decide to go together. Your heart races in anticipation before you finally glide down with the adrenaline rushing through you, while your ear nearly goes deaf by the splitting, high-pitched screams from Winter and Wonyoung as the three of you are being thrust into the air.

You hold your breath just in time when you plunge into the water, and the impact causes you to submerge a little deeper before you put your rusty skills to use as you swim back up to the surface. As you manage to stay afloat, cheers from your fellow guests reach your ears, probably due to you and your friends’ performances.

As you have every intention to swim towards the main deck, you hear a raucous motor engine approaching from behind you, to which you dismiss since it’s normal for other jet skiers to go about here, but when the vehicle stops directly next to you, you slowly turn around only for your heart to pound harder at the sight of Sunghoon looking down at you with inexplicable emotions in his dark eyes.

Silence befalls you as you stare at him with unwavering eye contact while your insides are tumult by the palpable tension in the air. You take this moment to take in his mouth-watering appearance, donning a white sleeveless tank top that displays his ripped muscles for your eyes to feast upon.

“Need a ride, princess?” Sunghoon asks as he snaps you out of the trance. His hand is extended towards you while you take note of his oddly neutral tone, which renders you sceptical, considering that you left him while he was asleep the last time.

Nevertheless, you accept his offer as you latch your hand on his, only for him to clutch your hand securely and assist in hauling you from the water with ease, his biceps muscles flexing, before you finally settle seated behind him.

“Hold on tight to me.” Sunghoon says over his shoulder, to which you barely register his words in your head when he abruptly picks up the velocity of the jet ski, eliciting a squeal from you and prompting you to latch your arms around his body.

“Park Sunghoon!” You scream over the raucous motor engine, looking over his shoulder to see where he is heading as you are getting further away from the yachts. “Where are you bringing me?!”

“To feed you to the sharks, of course.” Sunghoon tells you bluntly, and you gasp in disbelief at his seemingly serious remark before he breaks into a breathy chuckle, melting the prior icy demeanour. “I’m kidding, princess. I’m just driving you around. Besides, you haven’t seen my drifting skills yet.”

“What─Sunghoon!” A scream tears from your throat as he throws you off guard, quite literally, that nearly has you falling off the jet ski when he does an abrupt drift, prompting you to tighten your arms around his body.

“I told you to hold onto me tight!” He raises his voice for you to hear him better against the vindictive wind, and when he revs forward, you yelp out, your face colliding into his back.

“Slow down!” You exclaim in a squeak, and yet the adrenaline rush coursing through your veins only seems to intensify at the velocity of his jet ski as you hear the other jet skiers in the background around you.

“There’s no slowing down, princess.” Sunghoon briefly looks over his shoulder for you to catch a glimpse of the suggestive smirk on his lips.

Any resistance or fear in you dissipates as you eventually find yourself enjoying this more than you should, now with a gleeful smile glowing in your countenance that is accompanied by the infectious laughter emitting from you, which affects Sunghoon as he laughs along with you.

Maybe it won’t hurt for you to revel in this euphoric moment with him, even when you know that there is still a palpable strain between you and him.

Time flies fast as the effervescent element encompassing the entirety of the festivity has completely ensnared you, and before you know it, the sun is making its descent, creating a soft, warm radiance that bathes the landscape in a golden glow and gradually painting the empyrean a gorgeous shade of purple.

Despite the dawning twilight across the horizon, the party doesn’t seem to stop any time soon, while the prevalent ambience across the four yachts is pulsating with vigorous exuberance that emanates from the partygoers, including you.

You feel inclined to admit that this has got to be the best party you have ever attended. You have long since revelled in the luxurious entertainment offered by the knights.

After the wild ride on a jet ski with Sunghoon earlier, he dropped you off at the yacht you were originally from only for you to play the water slide with your friends and dive into the ocean one or two many times, and you even participated in the banana boat activity alongside other seniors, whom you surprisingly managed to get along with. Maybe it was because you were enjoying yourself too much until your stomach began to grumble, but the platters of food they served were so delectable that you even generously got yourself another plate or two.

But then, the familiar faces of specific individuals pop into your head, nearly subduing your effervescent essence, prompting your eyes to sweep with purpose across the throng of people in the spacious vicinity you are in, searching for them.

Obviously, you have been with Jake and Sunghoon rather intimately, but they were beyond your reach as they socialised with the others, seeming to provide you with space. You saw Heeseung earlier when Sunghoon drove past the first yacht, only getting a glimpse of his face, whereas Jay has yet to appear in your line of sight.

Biting down your lip, you shake your head lightly at the thought of them before resuming where you left off, regaining your faltered vitality. Presently, you and your friends are mingling and dancing on the dance floor with the music blasting from the speakers.

Your faces are glowing with jubilation, and giggles and chatter are teeming in the overflowing vibrancy as you dance silly with your friends and other partygoers. The dampness of your hair has been desiccated by the heat of the air while you are still adorned in your bikini, just like most of the other ladies here.

You have long since felt comfortable in your own skin, which is starkly displayed. Plus, you even received compliments from your friends and the other ladies about your look, which elevated your self-confidence, while you simply dismissed the lewd whistles and lecherous gazes from most of the knights. You were not about to allow anyone to ruin your day.

“Anyone needs help to throw away their cups?” Rei directs her offers to you and your girls, putting a pause on your frolic. When you look at Rei, you notice the grimace on her face. “I gotta head to the washroom. I feel a little nauseated.” She informs you.

“Count me in. I think I’m gonna throw up.” Chaewon covers her mouth with her palm before brushing past you speedily, not waiting for the other girls as they stack their cups on top of each other with Rei’s assistance before Kazuha and Winter follow after Chaewon.

“Y/N?” Yunjin stares at you just as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, while the other is holding the red cup languidly. “Your drink?”

You shake your head before casting her a boozy grin, to which they recognise that you are inebriated. “I’m fine. Just gotta─” A hiccup leaves your lips, and you nearly tumble forward if it weren’t for Wonyoung’s arms steadying you. “Gotta dance! And drink─” You slowly push Wonyoung away before bringing the cup to your lips and tossing your head back as you down the vodka in one go.

“You’re drunk.” Karina points out, but even she is just as inebriated as you, evident in the way she giggles as she pinches your cheeks languidly.

“I wanna pinch her cheeks too!” Wonyoung joins, swatting Karina’s hands away from you while the latter attempts to counterattack. “Go away! You’re drunk too!”

“The three of you are drunk.” Yunjin, the one who has the highest alcohol tolerance in the group, steps forward and latches her hands on both Wonyoung and Karina to pull them away from you. “Let’s get you two sober. Y/N─”

“I’m totally fine! I swear!” You bat your eyelashes at Yunjin as she narrows her eyes at you with scepticism. You attempt to convince her by dancing lightly to the music. “See? I still have some dance left in me!”

“Just don’t throw yourself off into the ocean and drown yourself.” Yunjin tells you sternly before dragging Wonyoung and Karina away from the animated dance floor, leaving you alone to revel in the intoxicating abysmal.

The empty cup eventually slips off your grasp as you succumb to the euphoria, the addictive rhythm pulsating through your body as it influences the alluring sway of yours that has long since captivated four pairs of eyes burning into your figure in the background away from the dance floor.

Unbeknownst to you, one of them meanders his way to the siren calling that exudes from your bewitching ambience, completely enamoured by you as you revel in the intoxicating abysmal with your head tilted up and an irresistible smile on your face cast by the resplendent LED across the dance floor.

Just when you are about to flaunt your moves, you feel a pair of hands holding your hips from behind, causing your heart to lurch in your chest at the uncanny familiarity of his callous palms, but you refuse to lose momentum, dancing along to the supposedly stranger behind you.

You feel his hot breath fanning the shell of your earlobe, tickling you, while his tattooed hand slithers forward to caress your abdomen sensually. “Nice moves, baby.” His husky voice is laden with desire as you leisurely lean back to grind your body against him, eliciting a low grunt from him with each intentional bump where your ass meets his bulge. “Fuck, if you keep doing that, I’ll have to drag you away and finish what you started.”

You slowly falter, but only to look over your shoulder to meet his eyes that darken with danger and lust, both coalescing into a raw, predacious hunger as you don’t relent from grinding back against his erection. His eyes greedily soak in the image of your erotic beauty under this luminescence.

In return, you beguile him with a simper smile. “You might want to control your erection, Mister Park. You wouldn't want these people to know that you’re shamelessly getting a hard-on from the renowned Catholic girl, would you now?” You ask in a sultry whisper, your tantalising touch on his skin as you caress his chiselled cheekbone ignites something so primal in him.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in your system that influences your every action, but you feel oddly pleased by the obvious lack of restraint in the low rumble from him while the tenacity in his hold on your body hinders you from your next move of eluding him, which now brings discontent to you.

You huff in annoyance after your second failed attempt to escape his grasp. “Jay─”

“Don’t delude yourself, sweet angel. You? The Catholic girl?” Jay chuckles darkly while your eyes widen in panic when his fingers tantalisingly caress down your sternum and all the way until he cups your clothed mount, eliciting a startled gasp from you. “The only Catholic thing about you is worshipping my cock with your every hole, like the good girl you are for me.”

Feeling self-conscious of your surroundings, you take a quick glance just to notice these partygoers are either completely drunk or simply minding their business to pay attention to you. Still, the risk of a pair of eyes seeing you and Jay right now is high, causing your mind to erupt into panic and chaos as you struggle languidly against him.

“Jay, they might see us─” A soft gasp leaves your lips when Jay squeezes your mount. His fingers explicitly apply pressure to your throbbing clit, eliciting a breathy moan from you before you can even stop yourself.

Jay scoffs lowly beside your ear, intentionally pressing his fingers to your clit again, this time in a subtle massaging motion, igniting the unbearable heat in your core. “It looks like I’m not the only one getting turned on, and you call yourself the Catholic girl?”

With the alcohol in its course through your system, which melds with an avid libido, it is inevitable for the stimulation of your arousal to become tenfold as it intensifies in your core by his mere ministration. “Jay.” You breathe out his name in between straining moans as you lean your head back on his shoulder, gasping. “Jay─We can’t─please─”

“Look at you, my sweet angel, or rather, my sweet little devil. You’re already falling apart just with my fingers.” Jay purrs in your ear, nipping the shell of your earlobe sensually before he roughly seizes your chin to control you as he directs your attention to the front view. “It looks like someone else wants to get their hands on you too.”

In an instant, your eyes lock with a pair of familiar ones from afar, but the sheer intensity forms an impalpable connection between you and him. A gasp hitches in your throat as you see the way he rakes all over your body, feeling as though he is shredding the fabric pieces that cover your womanhood just by his dark, invasive eyes.

“What do you think, baby? Should I tell Heeseung to come over and let him touch you like I do now as you come undone here?” Jay’s voice continues to drip with mockery while his fingers don’t relent from the ministrations on your clit. Jay catches Heeseung’s eyes fleetingly, and it’s enough for the latter to understand his unspoken invitation, drawing a smirk on Jay’s lips. “Yeah, I should.”

It is rather baffling to you, unable to discern whether or not the adrenaline rush in your veins has been incited by the unbridled lust in you or just plain trepidation that impels you to break free from Jay’s unyielding hold.

You don’t know what boosts your confidence in evading him, but you fail to heed in the direction you intended, because the next thing you know, your forehead collides into a solid chest, prompting you to look up at him with your eyes widened. 

“Heeseung.” You stammer, instinctively backing away from him. His figure is imposing as he relentlessly advances forward, while the predatorial glinting in his eyes, which is illuminated by the lighting around you, sends shivers down your spine. “Seungie, wait─”

“Oh, I’ve waited long enough.” Heeseung’s mellow voice is a deception you recognise that aligns with the soft smirk unfurling on his lips, which is adorned with the familiar silver ring. “If you thought last night was enough for me, then you’re mistaken. I’m never going to get enough of you, beloved.”

Your mind is in a tumult when Jay reigns dominance over you, his chest pressing against your back while his hands seize control over yours. You shudder as his hot breath tickles your skin when he dips his head down next to your ear. “How dare you leave me high and dry just like that, baby?”

Your head throbs with the booming music and the close proximity of being nearly sandwiched between two hot men who are the only ones who can intoxicate you in unfathomable ways, be it with their scent, their touch, their lips, or just everything about them.

“Come on, sweetheart. Dance with us. Show us your moves like you did earlier, pretty girl.” Heeseung places his hands on your hips, coercing them to sway under his scorching touch, and soon enough, you begin to retain the momentum that has long since felt natural in the flow of your body.

On the other hand, Jay distracts you with his lips kissing your shoulder and his hand guiding yours to raise them, which your fingers instinctively rake through his raven locks. “Jay.” You sigh pleasurably as he trails wet kisses across your shoulder until he reaches your neck, but you remain gazing at Heeseung’s dark eyes with hooded lids.

“Fuck, you sound so perfect saying my name like that.” Jay rasps against your skin before resuming his assault on the side of your neck while multitasking in the way he moves to the rhythm in sync with your body. 

Leaning back as you go lax between them, the way your back is arched entices Heeseung to lean down and press a kiss on your sternum before lowering himself to dip his tongue in the hollow of your cleavage to lick a long stripe of your skin and over to the supple of your nearly exposed breast.

“Hee, Jay.” Your moan goes straight to their cocks beneath the slacks. Your other hand makes its ascent to Heeseung’s hair, tugging at it softly. Before you fall deeper into this intoxication, you become self-conscious as you suddenly remember that you are still out in the open. “The others will see us like this.” 

“They wouldn’t.” Jay murmurs, nipping at your shoulder, which has you gasping at the prickling pain from his teeth.

You whimper. “But─”

“They wouldn’t dare to, even if they wanted.” Heeseung nearly growls out, the vibration from his lips to your skin, as does his lust-laden voice, sends pleasurable shivers through your body.

Miraculously, the partygoers in your vicinity are still oblivious to your licentious engagement with them, too caught up in the frenetic dancing while others are brazenly making out with their hands all over each other.

“Relax, baby.” Jay soothes you, his fingers stroking your inner thigh are dangerously close to your mount. “Let us take care of you. Let us make you feel good.”

Heeseung seizes your chin to tilt your head up before he leans down to assault the side of your neck with his kisses, while Jay dominates the other side with his. The sensation of their lips and teeth grazing on your skin has you rolling your eyes to the back while their hands are running all over your body, euphoria pulsating through your body in an indescribable pleasure. 

Truly, you wish this euphoric moment to last for an eternity, but a disruption from one of the knights interrupts your lascivious engagement, much to your disappointment.

Heeseung presses one last wet kiss on the hollow of your throat before pulling away just slightly and looking over his shoulder while his arm never leaves your waist. “What?” Heeseung’s low growl as he directs his attention to the knight goes straight to your throbbing yet neglected cunt. “Can’t you see that I’m fucking busy with my woman?”

The knight, whom you don’t seem to remember his name due to your hazy mind from what happened moments before this, is nearly deflated by Heeseung’s overpowering austerity before he regains composure. “A brawl broke out at the third-second yacht. It’s getting bloody nasty.”

“Tell Sunghoon or Jake to handle it, and if my knights are competent enough, surely they can handle the situation without needing any of our assistance.” Heeseung’s voice is laced with a vehemence of frustration, and instinctively, your fingers resume massaging his scalp and tugging the strands softly, which seems to be working as his taut shoulders go relaxed.

The knight releases a sigh. “We couldn’t find Sunghoon anywhere, and Jake is currently helping out the others to stop the brawl, but he needs some extra hands.”

Heeseung clicks his tongue in annoyance, slowly releasing his arm from you, whereas you frown at the loss of his touch and body heat as he steps away from you. His full attention is on the knight instead. “Lead the fucking way, then.”

You watch as Heeseung walks away until his figure is obscured by the throng of people ahead of you. Jay’s touch on your hips draws your attention to him as he kisses your shoulder affectionately. “I’m here, baby. I’ll entertain you instead.”

It is as if something has flipped the button in your head, or maybe a part of you desires to play hard to get, especially when you are supposed to be mad at him, though your anger has been subdued by the prior addictive kisses from his lips on your skin, because your next move throws him off guard as you break free from his grasp once more.

You turn around to face him, your facade is a deceptive front, while beneath it is someone who is shaken up by the glinting danger in his dark eyes. “Angel, what do you think you’re doing?” Jay asks lowly, taking a step closer, but you take a huge step back.

“I’m still mad at you.” You tell him, folding your arms together and positioning them underneath your hanging breasts. “You didn’t think I had forgotten that you were also involved in taking those unconsented pictures of me, did you?” 

Jay seems frustrated with the distance you established. “Baby─”

You cut him off with a scoff, your eyes turn icy cold, or at least you try to deceive him with your outward appearance that doesn’t match the emotions dancing in you. “Forget it. I hope you’re happy and satisfied when you jerk off to them.”

Before Jay can reach out to grab you, you elude him by bolting your way in the other direction, pushing past the sweaty bodies in motion. Truth be told, you are not as mad at him as the other night, not anymore, but it is rather amusing to see him taken aback by your turnover attitude.

As soon as you nearly reach the stairs, which lead to the basement where deluxe rooms are situated, you look over your shoulder briefly just in time to spot Jay brushing past a couple before his eyes meet yours, obviously chasing after you.

You quickly descend the stairs, and all the while, you can’t help it with the wickedness in you that revels in the chase as a soft smirk adorns your lips. Adrenaline rushes through you upon hearing his thunderous footsteps from behind, spurring you to pick up the pace as you bite down your lip, enjoying this more than you should.

Just as you turn to the right corner, your forehead collides into a solid chest, eliciting a wince from you at the impact. When you look up, your eyes widen at the sight of a frowning Sunghoon as he stares down at you with fleeting confusion.

“Princess? What are you─” Sunghoon’s words trail off into oblivion when he looks past you, noticing his best friend with intense frustration written across his features as he storms towards you.

“Don’t let her escape and bring her into my room.” Jay instructs his best friend with a cold snarl, eliciting a tiny squeak from you just as he is nearing you before you bolt past Sunghoon.

Of course, you should know better than to underestimate Sunghoon and his agility, because in a blink of an eye, you feel a harsh tug at your wrist before he pulls you back roughly to him only for him to manoeuvre you, now finding yourself being carried over his shoulder.

“Sunghoon! Put me down!” You exclaim, kicking and swinging your legs in defiance, which only earns you a smack on your ass as it stings from the impact of his palm while a whiplash of deja vu hits you in the face, but driven by unabating adrenaline, you feel a strong inclination to push them to the limits of their patience. 

“Stop squirming or you’ll fall, damn it!” Sunghoon grits his teeth, firmly stabilising his arm that cages around your still-wiggling legs.

Frankly, Sunghoon has absolutely no idea what situation led you to be seemingly eluding Jay after you bumped into him, but when he spotted a familiar shadow over Jay’s dour countenance, Sunghoon had an inkling that you did something to infuriate Jay, never mind the fact that he saw the dark arousal in Jay’s eyes and the latter’s prominent bulge against the outline of his slacks.

“I won’t unless you stop carrying me like I'm some doll!” You bite back, and your aggressive retaliation takes them by surprise before it adds more fuel to their indignation that incites them to discipline you.

Just like his best friend trailing behind him, Sunghoon lacks the virtue of patience, and so he delivers another smack on your ass while the sound resonates throughout the desolate corridor. “Stop acting like a fucking brat, princess.”

“Fuck you.” The profanity shooting like bullets from your unbridled mouth hits them in the face, whereas you feel proud of yourself as the corners of your lips curve in a smug smile.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Sunghoon asks in an unrestrained growl as his arms tighten around you while his inner demons that have been laying dormant in him are roused awake, borderline ravenous.

Of course, you refuse to yield despite your sensibility that is strenuously abstaining you from revelling in great delight at pushing their buttons, and so you raise your head to meet Jay’s stormy eyes instead, mustering a cunning smile on your lips.

“Fuck you.”

Oh, Y/N Kang, you’re done for.

Sunghoon comes to an abrupt stop that causes you to hit your face into his buttocks. Using your core strength, you slowly lift yourself with your head turned to the side, just enough to see Sunghoon pushing the door open violently before he marches inside.

You only manage to take a glimpse of the deluxe suite before you are caught off guard for a split second when Sunghoon tosses you on the bed, eliciting a grunt from you at the impact as you land face-planted on the white fleecy bedding.

Despite the trepidation that should have impelled you to flee them, which mingles with your adrenaline rushing through your veins unremittingly, the newfound depravity influences you to continue your provocation as you release giggles.

You feel callous hands manoeuvring your inert body, now finding yourself facing the ceiling with your back on the mattress. Merriment bubbles in your chest that prompt the uncontrollable giggles from you while you more than admit that you feel delirious.

“Look at me.” Sunghoon grabs your jaw with a hint of roughness as he forces you to look at him, his steely eyes penetrating into yours, but in the vehemence of your defiance, you whine, moving your head to escape the danger of his callous touch.

“I said, fucking looking at me.” Sunghoon commands with a cold snarl, and this time, he manages to earn your obedience when you relent, your eyes returning to his ablaze. “Are you drunk?”

No matter how fuckable you look right now ─ with your hair spread out in tendrils across the bed, your twinkling eyes that stare right back at him with nearly blown-lust pupils, your plump glossy lips going parted, and the unmistakable bumps of your perky nipples under the fabric of your bikini ─ he doesn’t want to take you when you’re under the heavy influence of alcohol, even when his erected cock against the slacks is starting to hurt.

“No, I’m not, but maybe you are!” You giggle once more, unable to control yourself from patting his cheeks as you look at him with doe-eyes that go straight into his raging cock while your lips jut into a pout. “Is Park Sunghoon feeling angry because I said fuck you? Gosh, you’re pathetic! Both of you are!”

Despite the unceasing indignation in them, they can’t help but feel entertained by your temperament, seeing the new side of you that they had no idea of.

Leaving you to your indefinite tantrum momentarily, Sunghoon leans away from you to look at Jay, his firm eyes holding concern. “How much did she drink?”

“How the hell should I know?” Jay scoffs before returning his eyes to you and finding you loafing on the bed as you lazily turn your body around. A smirk touches his lips as he recalls your body grinding against his. “She’s tipsy, but conscious enough to know that she was purposely fucking around with me.”

“The hot one is right!” You blabber out, humming a tune with your upraised legs swinging back and forth as you face the window.

“Hot one?” Sunghoon raises his voice slightly in disbelief. “What about me?”

You look over your shoulder lazily, casting a glance at him with your eyes raking down his body. “You’re hot too, but both of you don’t deserve to fuck me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sunghoon’s voice sounds deeper with a husk while his eyes darken with primal lust, moving closer to the bed while you remain in your reverie, blissfully unaware of the predatory danger creeping up on you. “Princess, you’re in no position to tell us what we don’t deserve when you’ve been nothing but a fucking brat.”

Sunghoon grabs you by your ankles as he puts a stop to your blissful swinging before he pulls you roughly towards him, forcing your legs to spread apart under his ravenous gaze as he looks down. You can barely comprehend anything when he delivers a harsh, stinging slap to your round, supple butt, eliciting a pained gasp from you.

“Where are the handcuffs?” You hear Sunghoon asking Jay, and instead of fear, the idea of cuffing your hands only intensifies your arousal, while at the same time, your cunt clenches in anticipation as you hear the sound of shuffling behind.

Still, you feign refusal, finding it rather thrilling, which only makes them want you more than they already do. “No! Stop! What are you doing?!” You exclaim, writhing and struggling helplessly with your arms being interlocked by Sunghoon from behind as he assists Jay while the latter slaps down the cuffs onto your wrists, shackling them.

Taking over Sunghoon’s position, Jay forces your legs to be lewdly apart, standing in between, before grabbing you by the cuffs and raising your upper body with ease. Your heart remains pounding hard against your chest, feeling his hot breath fanning on your temple.

“Don’t act like you don’t want this, as if you didn’t deliberately taunt me earlier.” Jay’s voice is dangerously low, igniting the excitement that flares behind your irises. “You really are a little devil under the disguise of a sweet angel, aren’t you? If you just wanted to get fucked, then you should’ve said so instead of acting like a brat.”

As soon as Jay releases you, you fall back down on the mattress, completely restrained as you struggle to move about, but a gasp leaves your lips when your bottom bikini is being pulled down. The cold temperature from the air conditioner hits your bare cunt, sending shivers through your body.

“Cold!” You whine before burying your face into the bedding as your neck feels strained, but there is not any ounce of mercy when Jay delivers a wet smack to your cunt as the pink folds are already smeared with your slick arousal before he slides his two fingers into you, starting off deliberately slow as he thrusts into you.

“Oh, fuck!” You moan out as soon as he changes the pace, scissoring you harder and faster with abandon while you arch your back with your stomach pressing deeper into the mattress and your legs spreading for more. The squelching sound from your cunt that reaches your ear is entirely obscene. Having fallen into the delirious haze of lust, you pant lightly in between moans as you attempt to fuck yourself back on his brutal fingers while your clit feels neglected, eliciting a needy whimper from you. “Jay, please─”

A loud smack of his palm on your butt resonates throughout the suite while the action causes your walls to clench around him, drawing a smirk from him as he eyes you down with primal hunger. “Gotta get you prepped for Sunghoon, baby, but look at you─ already so fucking wet and trying to fuck yourself back on me like a bunny in heat.”

“P-Please! Oh! Oh, please!” Tears prickle in your eyes at the frustration as your clit is in dire need of attention before a wanton moan rips from your throat at the sensation of his fingers now plunging deep and curling upwards, each thrust hitting your g-spot deliciously. “Fuck, Jay!”

“Yeahh, that’s your fucking spot, isn’t it?” Jay licks his lips as his eyes never leave the jiggling motion of your supple butt, enticing him to smack on them once more, painting them the shade of faint redness. “You’re not gonna cum, baby. Not until you get cock in you.”

“No! Please, no!” You sob out, not wanting your impending orgasm to be ripped off from you, as he doesn’t let up the vigorous thrusts of his fingers into your sopping cunt.

With your head slowly turned to the side, your glistening eyes meet Sunghoon’s dark ones before they trail down to his monstrous erection with the raging red tip pointed towards you, seeing as he is leisurely jerking off. “Hoonie…” A whimper leaves your lips, fearing and needing him.

Sunghoon merely casts you a smirk, his fang-like teeth peeking from his lips. “Just as he said. Don’t you dare cum before I fuck you.” He warns, examining the contortion of your angelic face as he knows you are close.

Helpless moans spill from your lips, with your wrists moving as they struggle against the cuffs. Your walls keep clenching around his vigorous fingers as he drives you closer and closer. “Fuck, Jay! Please! I’m so close─” Just when you are about to plead, Jay does the infuriating move as he abruptly withdraws from you, his slick fingers coating with your arousal while you cry out, feeling empty. “You’re so cruel.”

You flinch when Jay smacks your reddened ass once more before squeezing the flesh, his nails leaving temporary indents as they sink into your skin. “Oh, baby, you haven’t even seen cruel.”

You feel his hands manoeuvre you again to shift your position, turning you around to face the ceiling, with the exception of your cuffed hands being pressed into the mattress by the weight of your body and your head nearly hanging by the edge of the bed.

“Where the hell were you, anyway?” You hear Jay inquire to Sunghoon, cutting through the stifling atmosphere while you continue to writhe helplessly, turning side-to-side as you desperately seek to alleviate the aching pain on your clit to finish off what Jay didn’t.

“I was looking for my phone, and I remember that I left it unlocked.” Sunghoon replies, but amidst your incessant arousal, you manage to discern the harrowing in his tone, which is caused by his missing phone, for some reason. “Fuck, I swear I had it placed on the vanity table in my suite.”

“We’ll deal with your missing phone later.” Jay tells him sternly with a sense of assurance while you are oblivious to their calculated coordination as you remain reeling from the loss of your stolen orgasm before Jay appears in your line of sight, albeit you are seeing him from the inverted point of view.

You gasp softly as you marvel at the sight of his erection that looks similar to Sunghoon, your mouth foaming in anticipation. Upon seeing the thirst in your eyes, Jay smirks down at you as he finally towers over you. “Right now, our angel is hungry for cock. Aren’t you, baby?”

Oh, you are more than hungry; you are practically ravenous. You need them to fill your holes in the most filthy, intoxicating way unimaginable. “Fuck me, please.” Any decorum in you is thrown into the whirlwind of emotions that heighten your libido, which pleases them as you are truly and unequivocally corrupted.

A breathy moan leaves your lips as soon as you feel the weight of Sunghoon’s cock slapping down on your folds before he grabs his shaft to aim at your clit and taps on it repeatedly, as the deliberate action only enhances your sensitivity.

“Gonna put that filthy mouth of yours to use, my sweet little devil. Baptise your mouth with my cock.” Jay snarls at you as he brings his cock closer to your face, only for him to tantalisingly smack the head on your cheek lightly.

“Please! Use me!” Your hips continue to buck up while your mouth is parted open with pleas, leaving them at the agonising foreplay of both men. “I’ll do anything! Just please fuck me─”

At once, you are swiftly silenced by the simultaneous intrusion from their cocks, one shoving his girth into your mouth while the other rams his into your quivering cunt, lodging deep in you.

“Use you, hmm? As expected from a cockslut like you.” Sunghoon chuckles darkly, his eyes holding familiar devilry as he watches how docile you are, taking the whole of Jay’s girth as he thrusts into your mouth. 

Jay throws his head to the back as he holds you by the sides of your neck for leverage, but set in tandem with the way Sunghoon thrusts into you, moaning deeply at the sensation of your sopping cavern and the way your tongue skillfully manipulates around the head of his cock as it intensifies the sensitivity.

The erotic display of seeing his best friend in pure gratification as he fucks into your mouth ignites something so carnal in Sunghoon that stems from his inner ravenous demons, propelling him to lodge deeper with each brutal thrust he delivers with his hips bruising yours unforgivingly, causing your whole body to shake while your bikini is dangerously teetering into exposing the entirety of your breasts.

Despite having been used by them for uncountable amounts of times than you can recall, your walls feel miraculously tight as they clamp around Sunghoon’s thick girth, vacuuming him deliciously and eliciting a guttural moan from him.

“Fucked you too many times, and yet you’re still so tight.” Sunghoon groans, his fingers digging into the plush of your thighs as he manipulates them into an angle that grants the head to meet the spongy spot in you, eliciting a gurgling noise from the back of your throat while the sensation of Jay’s unrelenting thrusts causes you to gag around him with drools dribbling from the corners of your lips.

Jay clenches his jaw, feeling the vibration from your throat to his cock as you moan before he looks at Sunghoon. “I don’t know what you did, but keep fucking her like that.” Jay demands, earning him an approving smirk from Sunghoon before the latter fucks his cock into you harder in the previous angle yet with a searing precision, and this time, a muffled scream has been shoved down into your throat.

Jay diverts his attention to your beautiful body, which is sinfully pliant with your cuffed hands behind your back and your legs spread out and accentuated in the perfect arch of your back. He withdraws slightly from your mouth before immediately plunging into you deeply, and this time, becoming enthralled upon seeing the prominent bulge of his cock on your throat while you nearly see your life flashing in your eyes as Jay lodges deep into your throat, restricting the airways to your lungs.

“Oh, fuck. You’re going to make me cum, princess.” Sunghoon announces, gritting his teeth as your cunt pulsates around him, hurling him to the edge. Just like that, his orgasm comes in tidal waves with his hips snapping against yours, going completely still, allowing your cunt to milk every drop of his cum. “That’s it. Milk my cock just like that, princess. Brats like you need to be filled to the brim with our cum.”

Your whine manages to escape your stuffed mouth, which Sunghoon immediately understands, as evident in the way you keep moving your hips sensually as you attempt to fuck yourself onto his cock, wanting to attain your own orgasm.

“I’m close, baby girl.” Jay says huskily in between bated breaths while he watches his best friend spit a glob of saliva as it drops directly on your clit before the latter uses his fingers to spread his saliva around your clit, and he sees the effect of the ministration on your quivering abdomen.

“Don’t worry, princess. We’re far from over.” Sunghoon chuckles darkly as he hears your muffled whine and moans again at the mind-blowing sensation of his fingers rubbing your clit that work in tandem with his recommencing thrusts. “Gonna make you squirt good, my slutty princess.”

“Hoon, look.” Jay groans, gesturing to Sunghoon towards the prominent bulge in your throat each time he delivers shallow thrusts. “Fuck. Her mouth and throat work like fucking magic. Taking me good like the perfect slutty angel she is for us.”

Without letting up the fervent ministration on your bundles of nerves that are set ablaze, Sunghoon leans down as he hovers over your docile figure to place a deep, sensual kiss directly on your throat, his tongue licking a long stripe across your bulging throat, to which Jay swears he can feel Sunghoon’s tongue pressing deep in contact with his cock.

“I’m going to cum.” Jay releases a low guttural moan before he goes still as he lodges his cock deep into your throat, spilling the warm spurt into you as you are forced to swallow. “Yeah, baby. Swallow all of it.”

You try your utmost to breathe through your nose and not go insane over the overwhelming pleasure of Sunghoon’s cock fucking into you and his fingers working their magic on your clit while he continues to assault your neck with his wet, sensual kiss and licks, his fangs occasionally grazing across your skin that shudders you.

When Jay slowly withdraws his cock from you, you release a loud gasp as you immediately attempt to regulate your erratic breathing, licking your lips that are smeared with the excess of his cum. The feeling of Sunghoon’s cock hitting your cervix elicits a loud moan from you, your eyes rolling to the back as he relentlessly hits that fucking spot.

“Hoonie! Fuck!” You cry out, deepening the arch of your back as he rubs your clit fast and hard, which causes your cunt to clench around him. You nearly choke out when he curls his fingers around your neck, applying enough pressure to remind you that he will always reign control over your body.

“Oh my god!” You roll your eyes to the back, struggling to breathe as he tightens his fingers around your neck while you feel your impending orgasm teetering, and you’re so close, but this time, you feel something so familiar yet it is overpowering, blinding your senses as white-hot pleasure sizzles through you.

Sunghoon smirks, licking his lips while his eyes remain trained on your sinful yet beautiful face, mesmerised at the pure ecstasy contorting. “Come on, princess. Fucking give it to me.” He commands harshly, pressing his moving thumb deeply onto your clit and setting the nerves aflame. “Make a mess on my cock. Squirt for me.”

And you do, your mouth open in a silent scream and your eyes rolling to your skull with your back arched as white fluid gushes out from your cunt while he doesn’t let up his slow, deliberate thrusts, his eyes darkening as he revels in the way you continue to bathe him with your sweet essence. Your body is convulsing uncontrollably while your abdomen quivers at the blissful onslaught raining down on you.

Even as you come down from your high, the atmosphere in the room remains thickening with sweat, lust, and dominance emanating from both males that sends you a wave of submission, more than ready for them to take you again.

You whimper at the loss of Sunghoon’s cock unsheathing from you, causing your cunt to pulsate at the emptiness, with your mixed cum slowly leaking down. “Hoonie.”

Just as you are about to plead with him to free you from the handcuffs, he leans down and claims your lips in a ravenous kiss, his fingers curling around your neck and his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, tasting the residue of Jay’s cum on your tongue before he engages with you in a wanton kiss, tongues dancing in an intimate tango with your saliva smearing the outlines of your lips.

“Please. It hurts.” You pant against his lips, your cuffed wrists starting to feel the discomfort from having to be pressed down by your weight into the mattress. Sunghoon merely ignores your plea, focusing on your addictive lips and caging the bottom lip between his teeth, only to tug it harshly before reinserting his tongue into your mouth.

“Don’t think that I’ve forgotten how you left me that night, princess. Left us.” Sunghoon growls against your lips, sending shivers down your back in the way his penetrating eyes into yours darken with a melding of lust and danger.

Needing a short break, Jay inhales the familiar flavoured vapour from the e-cigarette in his grasp, watching as the grey smoke wafts in the air towards you while Sunghoon continues to speak harshly into your panting mouth, “Four fucking days without you, and you thought it was a good idea to leave us like that? Ignoring our calls and texts─ fuck─ You just love to push our buttons, don’t you?”

“H-Hoonie.” You gasp with your hooded eyes rolling to the back of your skull at the pernicious pressure he applies to your neck.

Seeing your lips parting open, Sunghoon spits into your mouth while the taste of his saliva sliding on your tongue elicits a strangled moan from you, prompting him to loosen his grip. “Swallow.” You do as he says, your throat bobbing as you swallow down his thick saliva with a moan.

“Please uncuff me.” You finally manage to utter after losing your voice for a moment, pleading in a whimper as you subtly squirm underneath Sunghoon. “It hurts.”

Sunghoon leans away from you, his eyes trailing to his best friend with a smirk etching his countenance. “What do you think? Should we uncuff her?”

Jay shifts his gaze as he saunters towards you, his cock nearly springing into action in the way your doe-glistening eyes are staring at him while you remain bondaged, still lewdly spread out on the bed like dessert.

“I don’t know. Should we?” Jay sighs leisurely as he brushes your hair away from your sticky face, his fingers trailing down to cup your jaw roughly, forcing you to look into his steely eyes. “Are you going to leave us again?”

You immediately shake your head, your thighs squirming and pressing together in an attempt to repress your incessant stirring arousal. Jay tightens his lock on your jaw. “Are you going to act like a brat again?”

“No! I promise I’ll be good!” Your obedience seems to please them, and before you know it, Jay turns your body sideways to assist Sunghoon in uncuffing your now-reddened wrists, finally releasing you.

You wince, rubbing your sore wrists before Jay seizes them as he hovers over you, your wrists now being shackled by his firm grasp and placed above your head. You open your mouth to protest, but his lips capture yours in a deep, searing kiss, similar to how Sunghoon kisses you, yet there is a fervent longing in the way Jay’s lips move against yours with a sense of urgency.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby.” He rasps against your lips, lowering his body weight on yours to grind his bare cock on you while you whine into the kiss, reciprocating as you rut up your cunt back on him with the head of his cock hitting your nub. “Don’t torture us like that again. Don’t leave, or I’ll─” 

Jay pauses, his voice sounding strained at the sensation of your drenched folds stimulating his cock, before he recovers with a growl as he kisses you searingly, his sharp teeth now sinking into the plumpness of your bottom lip, which elicits a pained gasp from you as he manages to wound your lip and draw out blood.

“Jay.” You moan out in both pain and pleasure as he sucks your throbbing lip, tasting you before he thrusts his tongue into your mouth, allowing you to taste your metallic blood that only seems to turn you on further.

“Just don’t leave again, or I’ll go insane for real.” Jay says, pulling away from your swollen lips and releasing his grip on your wrists. In a blink of an eye, Jay’s arms engulf your body to raise you, having you settled on his lap for him to untie your bikini that covers your two perky mounts expertly before tossing aside.

You gasp softly as Jay earnestly exerts his territorial mark on your skin, prompting you to arch your neck to give him better access with his arm encasing your waist while the other grips your hair. “Even if you leave again, I’ll find you, and I’ll chase you till the end.” He murmurs against your skin, and you can discern the dark promises in his tone alone before he resumes, hurling you into a new bliss.

The way Jay is bruising your neck with his teeth and licking the fresh hickey on your skin sends a pleasurable sensation through your body, prompting you to roll your hips as your cunt slides back and forth on his cock with your head tilted up, eyes fluttering closed, and your fingers tugging his hair with your arms embracing him.

Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon is eyeing Jay with vile jealousy, which he can’t help but feel, seeing how the raw intimacy is enveloping both of you with an air of reverence. Being spurred by the maddening jealousy, Sunghoon storms over to the bed, your back facing him, whereas Jay has long sensed his imminent presence that is oozing with a melding of jealousy and predatory.

Without pulling his lips away from your shoulder, Jay looks up at Sunghoon with a devious smirk. “It looks like someone is jealous, baby girl.” Jay drawls out, now leaning away from you for Sunghoon to seize control over you as he grips your hair and pulls it to the back, eliciting a gasp from you with your neck straining.

“Have you forgotten about me, princess?” Sunghoon asks lowly with a sneer, finding great delight in the way your glistening eyes are staring into his eyes with palpable fear and lust as you hesitantly shake your head, but he merely scoffs. “Oh, yeah, you did. How dare you, princess? After I’ve satisfied you with my cock, Where’s your gratitude, hm?”

“T-Thank you.” You stammer, feeling lightheaded at the stimulation on your nub from Jay’s fingers as the male multitasks in giving equal attention to your hardened nipples, licking and kissing them wetly. 

You whimper just as Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hair, causing your scalp to burn. You look at him tearfully as he smirks down at you, the cruelty gleaming delightfully in his eyes. “For?”

“For fucking me good.” You ramble out, unable to handle the sensitivity of having your clit and nipple assaulted by Jay any longer.

“Because you’re just a hungry cockslut who needs to be stuffed full, isn’t that right, princess?” Sunghoon tuts in disapproval upon hearing no response from you, with the exception of your light pants and breathy moans. He pulls your head to the back again, and this time, you meet his dark eyes upside down. “I asked, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.” You nod your head frantically, your chest heaving with pleasure as Jay busily maps his kisses across the expanse of your chest, biting and bruising your skin just the same. “Please fuck me again.”

Sunghoon decides to show you some clemency as he finally releases you before looking at Jay. “Princess wants to get fucked again.” He tuts.

Jay releases your nipple with a wet ‘pop’, his dark eyes soaking in the image of your sultry countenance as you unrelentingly grind against him. “Oh, I heard that, alright. Our sweet little devil is just hungry for cock.”

“Please, Jay.” Naturally, you assume that Jay will be the one to take you first since Sunghoon fucked you earlier, but the words coming out of his mouth shake you.

“Can you handle both of us, baby?” Jay smirks, his lips remaining ghosting over your parted lips as you softly whine in protest and shake your head out of fear before moaning as he continues to rub patterns on your sensitive clit with skillful precision. “Yeah? You want us? You want our cocks to fill you up good, baby?”

“Of course, she can handle us.” Sunghoon chuckles, his fingers tracing patterns on your back. “Lay down with her. I’m going to fuck her ass good.”

“What?” You blurt out, your eyes widening in panic, but you barely manage to make a movement when Jay embraces you to pull you down with him, having you settled on top of him with your tits pressing into his chest. “Wait! It won’t fit─”

“I will make it fit.” Sunghoon cuts you off with a growl. His austerity is punctuated by the impact of his palm smacking down on your ass before you feel his fingers dragging across your drenched folds to collect the slickness of your cum to serve as a lubricant as he smears it on his cock. “You’re going to take my cock either way, princess. Your unused hole needs to be ruined just the same as your sweet cunt.”

Sunghoon provides his assistance to Jay as he lifts your hips for the latter to aim his cock into your awaiting cunt before forcefully sinking you down on him. A broken moan leaves your lips as you feel the sheer girth of Jay’s cock stretching you painfully, but the pain immediately morphs into pleasure as Jay begins to deliver slow yet shallow thrusts into you while his arms slither around your body.

Upon seeing the pleasure on your face, Jay catches Sunghoon’s eyes and gives the latter an affirmative nod. Just as you are about to get sinfully immersive once more, your eyes snap open with a fearful gasp emitted from you when you feel Sunghoon spreading your ass cheek and dragging the head of his cock along the crack.

Feeling your pounding heart against his chest, Jay caresses your lower back in an attempt to soothe you without letting up his thrusts. “Relax, baby girl. It’s only going to hurt more if you continue to tense up.” He says so sternly, but there is a tinge of softness that makes your heart swell.

Just as you attempt to loosen yourself, Sunghoon immediately slides his cock into your gaping hole, tearing a broken gasp from you at the blistering sensation as he unrelentingly buries himself deeper. The pain is unlike any other, emitting tears from your eyes that trickle down your cheeks, but amidst the pain as Sunghoon continues to bully his way into you, the pleasure from your cunt that is being stuffed full by Jay’s cock manages to distract you.

“M-More.” You whisper brokenly, moaning, when Sunghoon begins to thrust into you as your hole has accommodated his girth. “Please, fuck me more.” You sob out. It is as though you are drunk; your head is caught up in a lascivious haze as the pain has completely morphed into an intense pleasure.

“Greedy fucking slut. Just one cock is never going to be enough for you.” Sunghoon grunts, his hips snapping against yours from the back harshly with each thrust as he works in tandem with Jay. The stimulation from both cocks filling your holes makes you lightheaded. “We’re going to stuff you like this every time you act up like a fucking brat.”

Jay groans as he throws his head to the back, feeling the way your cunt clench around him as soon as Sunghoon says that. A smirk tugs at his lips. “Our little devil loves getting fucked by two cocks at once, doesn’t she?”

“Then you better get used to this, princess.” Sunghoon grunts, biting down your shoulder as he rams his cock into your hole with fervour, feeling his impending orgasm teetering by the edge. “Shit─ You feel so fucking good─ I’m close.” He lets out a low guttural moan, using your body for his own pleasure as he ploughs from behind, which has you sinking deeper into Jay’s cock.

Sunghoon grabs you by the hair, forming it into a makeshift ponytail, before raising your upper body just slightly for Jay to shove two fingers into your panting mouth, pushing further until your moans are mingled with choked sobs, tears trickling down your cheeks at the painful pleasure.

“Keep squeezing me like that, baby.” Jay pants, his nails digging into the flesh of your hip as he feels the climax while he admires how intoxicated you are caught up in the throes of your pleasure and how deep you have fallen in this abysmal.

With one last earth-shattering thrust into your abused holes, their arrival is punctuated in the way they bury their cocks to the hilt as they go completely stilled, filling you to the brim with their cum at the same time your cunt spasms around Jay as you cum profusely.

Basking in the afterglow of your frenzied encounter, a heavy silence envelopes the suite, with only the sound of ragged breathings emitting from the three of you as you lay on each other, bodies sticking with sweat, yet you feel an odd sense of comfort as you find familiar solace with them.

As your eyes flutter close, you feel Sunghoon pressing his lips on your shoulder before he eventually pulls out his cock from your gaping hole, eliciting a whimper from you while you continue to lay on top of Jay.

“Come on, princess.” Sunghoon murmurs, assisting Jay in lifting you from him, while you moan weakly at the sensation of Jay’s cock being dragged along your pulsating walls as he finally withdraws from you. “Don’t lose yourself to sleep now.”

A familiar sense of arousal reigns when Sunghoon leans down to kiss your perky nipples before slotting his lips over yours to kiss you deeply. “The night is far from over for you.” Sunghoon smirks against your lips before the loss of his warmth elicits a whine from you, but the weight pulling down your eyelids tempts you to fall into the realm of sleep as the exertion of the aftermath dawns on you.

You don’t bother to question the sound of shuffles and the door swinging open, only wanting to succumb to the darkness, but just as you nearly allow the darkness to engulf you wholly, a spark of fire ignites in your core as soon as warm, plump lips press into yours, kissing you with a sense of urgency with his hands roaming around your body.

“Did you have fun with them, lovely?” His voice as he rasps against your lips causes your eyes to flutter open, meeting Jake’s warm brown eyes that are darkening with primal lust as he gazes deeply into your eyes.

“Jaeyun.” You utter his name softly as you caress his cheek, only for him to grab your hand to plant a kiss on your palm while his sultry eyes never leave yours. When your eyes trail to his hand, you frown at the sight of his bruised knuckles that are smeared with dried scarlet. “What happened?”

Instead of Jake answering you, another familiar voice compels you to look to the side, only to see Heeseung towering over the bed next to Jake, his dark eyes drinking in your beautiful glory being displayed on the bed and ready to be ruined once more.

“He’s fine, beloved. Nothing too serious happened. I helped him out to stop a brawl.” Heeseung sees you opening your mouth, earning you a tut from him. “No more talking about anything other than us pleasuring you, sweetheart.”

“What?” You breathe out, shaking your head in refusal as Jake lowers himself before pulling you by the legs until he is levelled with your wholly drenched and cum-smeared pussy. You don’t have the opportunity to further protest when Jake attaches his lips to your clit, tearing out a moan from you as he licks and sucks the nub expertly.

“Don’t worry, my beloved. We’re going to make you feel so good. Even better than they did.” Heeseung whispers as he settles next to you, his lips unfurling a soft smirk upon seeing the blissful contortion on your face as Jake works his magic on your cunt, with his tongue now slithering into your cunt.

“Jaeyun! Oh my god!” You throw your head to the back as you feel his tongue delve deeper with purpose, your fingers haphazardly finding their way to tug at Jake’s hair to rock your hips against his face. A pleasurable jolting sensation runs through you as Heeseung pinches your nipple and leans down to capture your lips in a searing kiss.

Panting against Heeseung’s mouth, he greedily swallows every sound emitting from you, his tongue exploring every inch and dancing with yours obscenely wet while his fingers continue to tweak and pinch your sensitive nipples. Below you, Jake is practically munching on your wholly drenched pussy from the residue of his saliva, moaning against your folds at the taste of your cum that mixed with his best friends.

Your thighs are already threatening to close from the sensitivity as Jake ravages you with his nose rubbing your clit, reigniting the bundle of nerves, before he forces your legs to be lewdly spread apart by the firmness of his hands while you run your fingers through Heeseung’s tousled locks as he devours your swollen lips.

“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer.” Heeseung murmurs before pulling away from your chasing lips to look at Jake. “Jake, stop. I’m going to fuck her first.”

Your eyes twinkle with curious amazement, watching Jake heed obedience to Heeseung’s command as he detaches his lips from yours. His lustrous nose and lips are smeared with your slick arousal while his dark, ravenous eyes meet yours, bringing a smirk to his pink lips before he grabs you by the arm and pulls you away from the bed.

Standing on your feet, you can feel your knees nearly buckle underneath you before Jake stabilises you, his arms embracing your waist while his lips search for yours and he greedily kisses you with a palpable hunger, momentarily distracting you as you melt against him.

“Jake.” You hear Heeseung’s voice from behind, and instantly, Jake slowly backs you up without breaking the lip lock, his hands falling to your hips to guide you before pulling away from the kiss. Just as you whine, you feel hands on your waist from behind you, pulling you down on him. “Come here, pretty girl. You’re going to ride my cock.”

“W-Wait─” A strangled gasp leaves your lips as soon as you sink on to his cock with saturating ease, while a familiar fear strikes you as you recall the last time he fucked you when you thought his long shaft would destroy you from the inside.

Heeseung groans lowly, feeling the warmth of your inviting walls hugging his cock tightly as though they had missed him. “How am I supposed to fuck you when your cunt is sucking me like this, pretty?” He grits his teeth, his hands on your hips, guiding you firmly to ride him before you finally pick up the momentum.

Each movement sends shockwaves through your body, making you feel your cock so deep that you swear you can feel your tummy bulging. “That’s it, pretty baby. Oh, you’re riding me so fucking good.” Heeseung’s voice is husky with primal desire as he rasps against your sheeny skin before sensually kissing your shoulder.

The hypnotising obscenity of you riding and bouncing on his best friend’s cock with your faces contorting in the same ecstasy compels Jake to gravitate towards you, kneeling down with his dark eyes fixated on his best friend’s cock disappearing into your sopping cunt.

Without a word, Jake latches his lips on your engorging clit, sending a jolting pleasure through your body as he licks the bundle of nerves uninhibitedly, accompanied by the occasional suction with his plush lips wrapping around the nub.

“Oh! Jaeyun!” You moan out, your hand trying to grip Jake’s hair, but Heeseung grabs a hold of your arms and locks them behind you while he doesn’t relent from bucking his hips up as he delivers shallow thrusts into you.

Getting drunk on your pussy and your essence that slowly leaks down on Heeseung’s girth, Jake decides to push his limits, his tongue searching and moving deeper to your cunt until he touches the solid girth of his best friend’s cock.

“Fucking hell, Jake.” Heeseung groans at the delicious sensation of Jake’s tongue dragging along your folds until he hits the base of his cock. “Look at you both, being such sluts.” His voice is laden with lust as he looks over your shoulder briefly. 

Both you and Jake moan in response, the degradation goes straight into the unbearable heat pooling in your core. It isn’t long before your cunt clenches uncontrollably around Heeseung as a telltale sign of your impending climax, eliciting a moan from him.

“Gonna cum, pretty?” Heeseung whispers into your ear, his fingers tangling in your hair to seize control over you as he grabs it into a makeshift ponytail to turn your head to the side. Receiving only the continuous yet broken moans from you, he tightens his grip on your hair, his nose grazing on your cheek as he growls lowly. “I asked you a question.”

You quickly nod your head, not wanting to displease him. “Yes! I’m gonna cum! Please!” You plead in a sob, getting utterly delirious by Jake’s tongue going relentless on your clit as well as Heeseung's vigorous thrusts that feel shallow than the previous, driving you further to the brink of your sanity with their sheer intensity.

Heeseung turns your head to the perfect angle to capture your parted lips with his, kissing you wetly. “Cum.” He growls his command against your lips, sending goosebumps to your skin.

With one last deliberate and precise flick on your clit from Jake’s tongue, your orgasm comes crashing down violently, one with a familiar intensity that gushes out in fluids from your cunt while your thighs quiver.

“Fuck!” You scream out, arching your back against Heeseung as the latter continues to fuck into you, even as you are squirting uncontrollably while Jake bathes in your essence that wets the lower region of his now-sheeny face, revelling in the fluid mess from you with a smirk on his lips.

Delivering one last thrust into your overstimulated cunt, Heeseung releases his grip from your hair to manoeuvre you on the bed as you find yourself lying down sideways, with his cock remaining buried in your pulsating cunt as he is closely behind you.

“Seungie.” You whine, wiggling your ass in an attempt to escape from his cock, but Heeseung slithers his arm around the swell of your tummy, locking you in. “Pull out, please. I can’t…”

“Oh, yes, you can.” Heeseung shushes you, ascending his fingers to stimulate you again as he tweaks and rolls your nipple between his fingers, knowing that you are sensitive to having your nipples played. He presses a kiss on your shoulder, his dark eyes glinting wickedly as he glances up to see Jake hovering over the bed. “You’re going to take us both this time.”

“No. I can’t.” You shake your head, your eyes glistening with fear at the possibility of them tearing you apart with their girths, as you look at Jake settling in front of you in the same position as you. Panic blooms in your chest as Heeseung’s hand moves underneath your upper thigh to lift it up for Jake to gain easy access, causing you to squirm while the action only makes your cunt clench around Heeseung’s.

The head of Jake’s cock comes into contact with your clit, eliciting a soft gasp from you as he rubs it for good measure before aiming it at your stuffed cunt. You open your mouth to protest again, but instead, a pained gasp escapes you while tears prickle your eyes at the searing stretch of your cunt as Jake slowly enters you.

“So fucking tight.” Jake grits his teeth, looking down at the girth of his cock slowly disappearing into you before the sound of your whimper draws his attention, and his eyes soften at the sight of you in tears. He cradles your cheek before kissing you deeply. “I need you to trust me and relax, sweetheart. You’ll only get hurt if you continue to tense up. I promise you’ll feel good soon.”

Your heart swells at his affection in the way he speaks to you with a promise of assurance, while your blazing nerves begin to dwindle at the fluttery sensation of Heeseung’s kisses on your shoulder with his arm around your waist.

With a shaky nod from you, Jake takes this as a signal to continue entering you, feeling your cunt pulsating around their cocks while pants leave your lips, now feeling stuffed full with their cocks claiming you as they split you open.

It isn’t long before the searing pain begins to subside as they thrust into you, setting a pace that works well with their tandem. Your lips are part open, moaning in silence at the delirious sensation of their cocks as they deliver shallow thrust with one pull and another push before switching, moving in perfect synchrony.

“Shit, dude, I can feel you in her.” Jake groans, directing his remark at Heeseung, as the sensation of their cocks dragging against each other sends another pleasure through their bodies.

“Seungie, Jaeyun.” You mewl, causing their hearts to swell at how adorable you sound, before they groan as you clench around them. “Please kiss me.”

Hoisting your leg over his hip, Jake cups your cheek and slams his lips on yours, kissing you deeply and prodding his tongue into your parted lips while Heeseung sinks his teeth into your shoulder and descends his fingers to stimulate your clit, setting the nerves aflame once more as they don’t relent from fucking into you.

You moan into the kiss, gasping when Jake nips at your bottom lip only to suck it before being pulled away by Heeseung as he seizes your chin to capture your lips in a greedy kiss, your tongue occasionally licking and playing his lip ring. Jake occupies himself as he leans down to capture your perky nipple with his hungry lips.

The air is laden with a heady mix of your sweat, sex, and moans as the three of you are enraptured by the ecstasy of your sweet cunt enveloping them and clenching with each deliberate yet vigorous thrust from their cocks, obliterating your coherency.

Needing air, you pull away from Heeseung’s unforgiving kisses, gasping as you feel the impending need for release that sends shivers of ecstasy through your body. “Seungie, Jaeyun...”

“We know.” Jake places a chaste kiss on your lips while Heeseung intensifies the unbearable knot in your tummy by rubbing your clit skilfully, driving you into oblivion as their thrusts become more fervent with a raw carnal desire for you.

As soon as Heeseung pinches your bundle of blazing nerves, your eyes roll to the back with a silent moan, leaving your parted lips as you tumble over the edge of ecstasy, your climax flooding you with an intensity that has you gushing out the familiar fluids again, wetting them and the bed that is now drenched.

With one last earth-shattering thrust, they go completely still, burying deep into you as they fill you with their warm cum to the brim as they let out low guttural moans. They don’t pull out, even as you squirt for another time before the fervid heat wanes.

“Pretty baby, you wet the bed.” Heeseung coos, his fingers caressing your tummy, which swells with their cocks still buried in you. He places a kiss on your neck, still helping you to calm down from the delirious high. “I knew you’d take us so well.”

Silently basking in the comfort of their arms, a licentious thought pops into your head just as the sex haze begins to fade. You look at them with a sultry gaze that goes straight into their twitching cock. “I want you two to kiss.”

As expected, their reaction is entirely in disbelief before Jake speaks, “Sweetheart, why would you want─”

“Please.” You whine, slowly moving your hips purposefully to rile them up as they clench their jaws, feeling your pulsating cunt around them. “I want to see you kiss each other. Just this once.”

“If our girl wants to see us kiss, who are we to deny?” A smirk touches Heeseung’s lips, drawing a disbelieving glare from Jake.

“Dude, I’m not going to kiss you. I’m not fucking gay─”

Heseung catches Jake off guard when he seizes the latter’s chin to pull him forward before slamming his lips on his. You watch with prurient amazement as they slowly get immersed in the kiss just above you, allowing you the explicit view of their lips moving against each other ravenously.

Maybe you are wicked on the inside, because seeing them in a heated lip lock turns you on more than it should as you bite down your lips. You make a tentative move with your hips, but the sensation of your cunt clenching around them prompts them to break the kiss as they breathe harshly.

“Damn, you really like to see us kiss, don’t you?” Jake nearly growls out, his dark eyes soaking in the image of your sultry countenance as you continue to move your hips deliberately to taunt them, feeling their cocks twitching inside you.

“Pretty girl is nasty too.” Heeseung chuckles, bringing his fingers to pinch your nipple as you moan out, but a whimper leaves your lips as they slowly unsheathe their cocks from your now-gaping hole that leaks with the union of your cum.

With the unbridled lust coursing through your veins, you catch them off guard when you pin Jake on the mattress and waste no time grinding your cunt on his limp cock uninhibitedly.

“Again?” Jake groans, his hands falling to your hips lazily while you continue to lather your cum all over his cock. “Lovely, I need to take a break.”

“Our sweetheart is just hungry for cock, isn’t she?” Heeseung drawls, moving closer to you with his fingers now caressing and applying pressure to your clit, eliciting a breathy moan from you. “Jake, I’ll keep her occupied. You call Jay and Hoon and ask them if they want to join.”

The thought of Jay and Sunghoon joining in as well delights you, and you desperately need all of them to pleasure you throughout the whole night, even if it meant that they would be obliterating your cunt.

As soon as you whine, the sound of footsteps draws all of your attention to the two aforementioned figures as they stride into the suite with prominent bulges against their slacks, to which you lick your lips and your eyes haze with carnal lust.

“Don’t have to ask.” Jay’s voice that reverberates throughout the suite is huskily thick, laden with primal lust, while his eyes drink in the obscenity of your bare, exquisite display, watching you rubbing your clit unabashedly.

“Jay.” You whine, unrelentingly grinding your drenched folds on Jake’s erection while the latter groans deeply below you. “I need you so bad.”

“Come here.” Jay practically pounces on you, manoeuvring you across the bed until your back is pressed against the mattress before capturing your lips hungrily in a searing kiss. “Baby wants to fuck some more, yeah?” He rasps against your lips, drawing a whine from you as soon as he pulls away to get rid of his shorts.

“Please.” Your fingers descend to your lower region to rub your clit like a hungry cockslut, while the sight of you pleasuring yourself as you arch into your own touch hypnotises them, their eyes filled with carnal lust. You taunt them further, spreading your legs a little wider while moans spill from your lips as you increase the pace on your clit. “Please, oh, please! Fuck me─”

Jay silences you with his unforgiving lips once more, aiming his erection at your gaping holes before sliding into you with ease. “You’ll get fucked, alright.” He growls into the kiss, withdrawing his cock from you with only the head remaining inside before slamming into you with full force. “We're going to fuck you so much till the sun rises, baby girl.”

As moans spill from your lips, you turn your head lazily to the side only to spot Heeseung smoking a cigarette while Jake is drinking a glass of Bourbon as they watch you with the same predatory gaze from the couch.

But your view is immediately shielded by Sunghoon’s towering figure, prompting you to change the angle of your point of view. A smirk smears across his lips as he brings his cock to tap against your cheek. “Open your mouth wide, princess.”

Least to say that they really did keep you up and satisfied — four cocks claiming your cunt in one night.

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[stupidphototricks]

Dwarf tradition, in The Truth. Long quote but there is so much to unpack here.

"A dwarf needs gold to get married." "What… like a dowry? But I thought dwarfs didn't differentiate between--" "No, no, the two dwarfs getting married each buy the other dwarf off their parents." "Buy?" said William. "How can you buy people?" "See? Cultural misunderstanding once again, lad. It costs a lot of money to raise a young dwarf to marriageable age. Food, clothes, chain mail… it all adds up over the years. It needs repaying. After all, the other dwarf is getting a valuable commodity. And it has to be paid for in gold. That's traditional. Or gems. They're fine, too. You must've heard our saying 'worth his weight in gold'? Of course, if a dwarf's been working for his parents, that gets taken into account on the other side of the ledger. Why, a dwarf who's left off marrying till late in life is probably owed quite a tidy sum in wages—You're still looking at me in that funny way…" "It's just that we don't do it like that…" mumbled William. Goodmountain gave him a sharp look. "Don't you, now?" he said. "Really? What do you use instead, then?" "Er… gratitude, I suppose," said William. He wanted this conversation to stop, right now. It was heading out over thin ice. "And how's that calculated?" "Well… it isn't, as such…" "Doesn't that cause problems?" "Sometimes." "Ah. Well, we know about gratitude, too. But our way means the couple start their new lives in a state of… g'daraka… er, free, unencumbered, new dwarfs. Then their parents might well give them a huge wedding present, much bigger than the dowry. But it is between dwarf and dwarf, out of love and respect, not between debtor and creditor… though I have to say these human words are not really the best was of describing it. It works for us. It has worked for a thousand years." "I suppose to a human it sounds a bit… chilly," said William. Goodmountain gave him another studied look. "You mean by comparison to the warm and wonderful ways humans conduct their affairs?" he said. "You don't have to answer that one. Anyway, me and Boddony want to open up a mine together, and we're expensive dwarfs. We know how to work lead, so we thought a year or two of this would see us right." "You're getting married?" "We want to," said Goodmountain. "Oh… well, congratulations," said William. He knew enough not to comment on the fact that both dwarfs looked like small barbarian warriors with long beards. All traditional dwarfs looked like that.* *Most dwarfs were still referred to as "he" as well, even when they were getting married. It was generally assumed that somewhere under all that chain mail one of them was female and that both of them knew which one this was. But the whole subject of sex was one that traditionally minded dwarfs did not discuss, perhaps out of modesty, possibly because it didn't interest them very much, and certainly because they took the view that what two dwarfs decided to do together was entirely their own business. — Terry Pratchett, The Truth

I super love the footnote, of course, but unexpectedly now I kind of want this version of a dowry to be a thing. I mean, the dowries of the bad old days where the man basically bought the woman from her parents, that's not okay. But this.

I'm a parent, and in no way do I feel like my kid owes me for their upbringing, education, or even (I'm anticipating) a few years of post-college living at home. Not at all. I can't imagine not taking care of them or attaching any strings to that care.

But that's not what this is. Really, ideally, it's a way for parents and children to give each other the gift of the child's independence, their autonomy, their adulthood. To officially and tangibly say that their relationship from this point on is no longer parent/child, but something more on an equal level.

For that matter, I imagine the child is free not to have a relationship with their parents any more at all, if they want. No obligation, no guilt. If parents want to be in their kids' lives when they're adults, they'll need to make sure their kids actually like them as people.

Well. I know that our world of humans doesn't work like this. Even if we put a monetary value on what we owed our parents and paid it, we'd still feel obligated to them, at least a little. Even if our kids paid us back, we'd still feel like we had the right to control them, at least a little.

But man. That g'daraka thing sounds wonderful.

[reidmotif]

Regret on the Rocks

Summary: Spencer finds himself at a bar being served by the girl who once broke his heart. Turns out she feels a lot more than just regret for letting him go.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Light Angst/Smut

Content Warning: drinking, Spencer is a little depressed, mentions of heavy bullying (specifically 3x16), car sex, female masturbation, Spencer POV, heavy kissing, unprotected penetrative sex

Word Count: 4.3k

Masterlist

Regret is an emotion I’m well accustomed to. It’s not to mean that I’m unhappy with my life by any means, but I’m aware of the space between my current situation and the ‘beyond’ that could’ve been if things had just been different. 

If I’d never joined the BAU.

If I’d had a more conventional life in the first place.

If connection came to me as easy as it seemed to other people my age. 

But none of those things seemed to ring true, so I carried regret in me like a bruise of honor. Despite the regret, I faced it every day and lived to do it all over again in the morning. It didn’t mean it was easy, and today proved that. Today, it was hard going to sleep knowing I’d wake up to do it all over again. 

In light of this, I’d found myself in a bar, alone. The case we’d been working on saw little to no fruition despite our efforts, and it’d resulted in another body we couldn’t save. Another person I was responsible for. It weighed down on me more than I cared to admit. 

I found myself continually lost in my thoughts, navigating through the carefully weaved web of guilt and self-doubt, spiraling, until a much softer, surprised voice pulled me out. 

“Spencer Reid? Is that you?” She asks. I hear her voice before I see her, and I know that it’s the bartender stood behind the bar, and there’s confusion as I wonder who could’ve possibly recognized me in a rundown small-town bar.

I look up and meet her eyes, and it’s as if a flood of memories ensues. A flash of recognition crosses my face, and seeing the images playing in my head, almost akin to a film reel, slowly walking me through one of my earliest regrets. 

I was 15, navigating my senior year while being the youngest one there. Despite the oddness of my situation, it never crossed my mind that I shouldn’t have tried so hard to participate in the same social events as my peers. With the hindsight of adulthood, I now imagine that if I had withdrawn, spent more of my time alone than trying to not be,  the hurt of never being accepted would sting less, because I’d never had tried in the first place.

But I had tried, and she was the only one who got me. She was older, yes, and beautiful and popular,  but those didn’t matter half as much as the conversations we’d manage to have. She never seemed to take offense to any ramble of mine, and I’d feel my heart soar when she’d ask questions after my monologues, sending me the clearest signals of interest in what I had to say.

And as a lonely 15 year old? It meant the absolute world to have that. To have her as my friend.

And so, when it came time for senior prom, in the interest of at least trying to fit in, I asked her to go with me. As friends of course, but even then she shook her head, and ruefully told me someone else had asked her. I vaguely recalled the name she’d given me off of a football roster I’d once read while attending the school, and nodded. I understood. I was prepared for the rejection, in fact I’d already taken it the moment she said no. I was prepared to live with it.

Then came the week before prom. Being lured away from the safety of the campus, and onto a football field. Being tied to a flagpole, while everyone watched- and laughed. I remember seeing a face, his face, knowing he was the one who was taking her. Taking (Y/N) to the prom. 

I rarely dwell on the events of that day, but I do remember the regret. I remember wondering that if I’d just never spoken to her, I’d maybe have been less of a target. I wondered if maybe I’d never asked her in the first place, maybe our friendship could’ve survived the whole ordeal, but it hadn’t. She never spoke to me after that, her head hanging low as she continued to hang off of his arm, never sparing me another glance again. 

But here she was, glancing- no, staring at me, her eyes wide. 

“What are you doing here? Are you.. Did you always live here all along?” She asks, her voice uncharacteristically soft and mellow. She was loud back in high school, I remember. She had the best laugh I’d ever known. 

It takes me a second, but I give her a flat smile, setting my glass down. “I’m here for a case, actually.” 

“A case..?” She says, her head tilting a bit in confusion. 

Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yeah, a case. I’m an FBI agent. I’m here for a recent string of murders being committed in the area.” 

“Wow, FBI, huh? I never thought of you as law enforcement.” She says, her eyebrows raising. “Always thought you were going to change the world with that brain of yours.” She adds, a small smile on her face. My eyes narrow in distrust at the sudden compliment, unsure of her intentions. 

“I’d say I’m changing the world.” I respond, a little defensively. “I like my job. I like that I change lives by not letting them end.”

She immediately retracts her statement, vehemently shaking her head. “No, no! That’s not what I meant at all. I mean, of course you’re changing the world- I just thought you’d be doing more. Okay- not more. I just- Gah. I swear, don’t take it the wrong way.” She pauses, before gesturing to herself.  “I mean, I have no room to talk.” She says, the words a little rushed and frantic. 

“What do you mean, no room to talk?” I ask, squinting in genuine confusion. 

“I mean, I work as a bartender. I don’t know what I want from life, but it’s certainly not this.” She says, motioning to the shelves of drinks behind her, a little defeated. 

She’s so different from when I knew her. Self-assured. Confident. She seemed almost meek in this environment, and the only recognition of the girl I knew came from the small, embarrassed smile she gave me.

“Well. We’re a lot more alike than you think, then. Titles mean nothing.” I say, voice a bit quieter. “I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of, though. We’re just getting through life the best we can, right?” 

She nods a little, seeming to take comfort in my statement. “Look at you. You’ve still got the same sweetness in you from high school.” 

Stiffening at the mention of high school, I just nod and taking another sip from the glass in front of me, which was starting to empty out. “Not trying to be sweet, I think. Just honest.” I say, bluntly.

It’s mean, I’m aware. I can feel her trying, but I don’t want to offer her the same. I want her to feel awkward. I want her to know what she did was wrong. 

There’s a silence that passes through the two of us, before she breaks it with a continued gesture of kindness, turning around to fill another glass with my drink of choice and setting it down in front of me, a small smile playing on her lips. 

“For being honest then. Thank you.” She says, and her eyes meet with mine. I almost hear the unspoken apology in her voice, in the way her fingers slowly push the chilled glass towards my empty hand, in the way she bites her lip softly, waiting to see what I’d say.

“To being honest.” I say, raising the glass slightly and downing the drink a little faster than I intended, not wanting to think too much about the implications of the gesture. To know that she possibly had regrets too. That she might still have the goodness I once knew in her. 

“I have about half an hour left in my shift, but if it’s alright, I’d love to catch up properly.” She says, keeping her gaze trained on mine. “I’ve.. missed you.” She says, her voice soft. 

I don’t respond to her last statement, but I can’t deny the magnetic pull begging me to say yes to her request, to at least see where our lives had gone after our separation. So I nod, silently.

“I’ll be here.” 

I try to lay off the drinks for the next thirty minutes, opting to sip some water instead to clear my mind in preparation for the time I’d be spending with her. Part of me wondered if I shouldn’t have accepted the invite at all. It wasn’t that I forgave her per say,  but the curiosity to know her all over again was overwhelming, regardless of the pain she’d caused me. I’m once again reminded why “curiosity killed the cat” is such an overused aphorism.

She comes up to me thirty-six minutes later, and I hate myself for keeping track. She flashes me a small smile. 

“You waited.” She says, softly. 

“I said I would, right?” I respond, unsure why that would mean anything to her. I agreed to this. I wanted this, even if I could physically feel the inner turmoil brewing throughout my body. I suppose it didn’t show though, because she continued on, smiling. 

“There’s an ice cream place I like around here. Would you like to go?” She asks, and I see her teeth catch onto her bottom lip, the plumpness of the feature being exacerbated by the action, causing me to momentarily lose my train of thought. 

“Uh. Yeah, ice cream. Sounds good.” I say, placing my hands in my pockets. 

“Did you drive here? I mean- I hope not. You drank quite a bit.” She says, starting to walk to the exit of the bar. 

“No, no. My hotel is actually right here. I walked. Needed to get my mind off some things and I ended up here since it was convenient.” I say, and I feel myself falling back into that comfortable rhythm of just being able to speak freely around her. 

It’s like no time has passed at all, and yet I’m acutely aware that nothing is the same. That we’re avoiding a bigger issue at hand. 

“Yeah.” She murmurs. “The murders around here have been grisly, haven’t they?” She says, starting to lead me to her car. “I get nervous when I hear about that stuff, so I find myself looking away from the news more often than not.” She continues, quirking her mouth to the other side, as if she’s aware this isn’t the best course of action, but does it anyway.

“It’s cute.” I think.

I push the thought away. 

“Understandable.” I reply, nodding. “I don’t watch the news either. I mean- I do read the news. But I don’t watch it.” 

She starts the car, and I observe a hint of a grin on her face, her eyes crinkling at the edges in a way that makes my heart jump. “So you still like to read then?” She says, seeming genuinely happy I’d kept up the habit even after my youth. 

“Oh yeah. I mean, reading isn’t something I really ever let go of. It’s a good activity when you’re out on the road so much.” I say, feeling solace in talking about something I truly loved. “Sometimes I feel like books provide me with better stimuli than social interaction.” I continue, unaware of the implications of my words, and I only realize once I’ve seen her raise an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, but I mean. Friends are good too, right?” She says, a hint of concern making her way into her voice. 

I chuckle a little bitterly. “Probably. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I have my team, and I’m grateful but-” I pause, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. It doesn’t come to me like that, you know? And I’m not bothered by it, but I don’t like to think about it.” I say. There’s a faint feeling of heat on my face from the honesty, but I continue to stare straight ahead, not wanting to see her reaction to my words. 

“You were a good friend to me, Spencer. Better than a lot of the friends I had in high school, and I’m not just saying that.” She says, softly. 

I respond without thinking, shaking my head with an embittered motion and a click of my tongue.

“Yeah, and look where that got me.” 

She’s a little silent then, and I refuse to say anything else. She’s the one who invited me here. I don’t know what she wanted out of this, but I wasn’t going to forego my own feelings just to spare hers. I was here. That was enough. I was allowed to say that. 

We pull into an empty parking lot, where I see the neon lights advertising an ice cream parlor, but we don’t get out. She turns off the headlights and blows a bit of air between her lips, placing her hands in her lap and turning towards me. 

“Spencer.” She murmurs, swallowing a bit. “I am so, so sorry for what I did in high school. I know I wasn’t there when.. You know when. And I know I didn’t speak to you afterwards, and I am so sorry.” She repeats. “I hope you believe me when I say I really did miss you. I was such an idiot back in high school, and nothing can repair that, but I missed you so much.” She says. 

I turn to her and can see the tears welling up in her eyes and feel my heart soften. It’s insane, the effect she can have on me, even years later. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” I say, immediately reaching over to wipe a tear from her cheek, my thumb swiping over the expanse of her smooth skin. “It’s just high school. It’s a long time ago.” 

“No.” She says, emphatically, shaking her head. “Don’t lie to me. What I did was awful. It doesn’t matter if it was long ago. You can call me a bitch. You can- scream or hell! I don’t know. You can be angry at me. You should be angry at me. I could never say sorry enough.” She says. 

I shake my head, all the previous resentment and bitterness dissipating instantly. It was a bit odd, feeling the emotions I’d long held onto even years after our fracture go away so quickly, but she was my friend. For what it had been worth, she had been good to me.  And right now, she was my friend, crying in a car, and the guilt and shame couldn’t be more obvious. 

I move to hold her hand, wanting to comfort her, rubbing small circles into the skin near her thumb, her fingers grasping over mine, almost afraid to let me go now.

“You’re right, in a way. What you did confused me and left me feeling really.. lonely. But now that I’m older I think I better understand it, but it doesn’t change the fact you hurt me.” I reply, and I see her jaw tighten, nodding and taking my words to heart. 

“But I don’t think I resent you anymore for what happened.” I continue, the words tumbling out. “Seeing you guilty and ashamed so many years later is just making me wish we’d talked earlier, so we wouldn’t have had to feel this way for so long. Maybe we could’ve.. I don’t know. Picked up where we left off.” 

She gives me a flat smile, tears still in her eyes. “Yeah? I’d have liked that.” She murmurs. 

“I mean it.” I say, flashing her a soft smile. I decided to lighten the conversation for her comfort. 

“Doesn’t mean I won’t call you an idiot for dating that prick though.” I respond, a little teasingly, hoping to get a bigger smile out of her. 

“Oh god.” She says, leaning back, laughing a bit. “Please do. God, he was so .. awful.” She says. “He wasn’t half as funny as you. Just.. boring honestly.” 

I smirk a little at the words, feeling a bit of pride but brushing it off with a shrug. “I mean, it's a cliche right? Beautiful, smart girl with the boring jock?” I say. “You and like, 6 out of 10 high school girls probably fall directly into that category.” 

She gives me a laugh at that one, a real one, and my heart soars upon the sound alone. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed her.

 “6 out of 10? Where’s that statistic from? High School Girls Anonymous?” She responds, matching my energy and continuing the banter.

“Just trust me. I know these things very well.” I say, trying my best to sound as faux academic as possible, hoping to make her feel at ease, to fully let go of the tension from before.

“Well, then.” She says, softly, turning the conversation to be a bit more sincere. “I’m glad I don’t fall into that cliche anymore. I’m glad my taste changed.” 

I nod, surprisingly relaxing into the vulnerability of the words. “Yeah, it happens. Tastes do change throughout life, especially post-adolescence. One could denote it to the development of the prefrontal cortex, but I like to say it’s out of knowing what you want out of life.” 

“Have yours? I mean, your tastes. Have they changed?” She asks, her eyes boring into mine, and I realize that my hand is still holding hers.

I lick my lips and shrug. “Here and there. For the most part, yes, but I find myself clinging to certain aspects of my teenage self.” I respond, vaguely. 

She continues to look at me, nodding. “Mine have. For sure.” “How so?” I ask, my heart speedingbup. 

“I think I learned to like sweeter guys.” She says, softly. “Ones that don’t bore me entirely, and ones I actually want to spend time with. Maybe that’s a cliche in itself but..” She shrugs, ending off her sentence there. 

I nod, wondering where this was leading. Her eyes were trained on mine and I could feel my pulse quickening. Was she going to kiss me? Was I going to kiss her? Was I crazy for thinking that at all? What was happening here? 

“You said you still have certain aspects of your teenage self in your tastes.” She says suddenly, her face moving a bit closer to mine. “What did you mean by that?” 

I sigh, taking in the features of her face, and how they seem to be illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the windows of her car. She was so stunning, even now. Even after all these years, I couldn’t deny she’d only grown to be more beautiful.

 I lick my lips and nod. “I guess I just meant.. I still find you just as beautiful as I did back when I first knew you. Even moreso now, honestly.” I say, quietly. 

I can feel her breath hitch, and her own tongue darting out to wet her lips, mirroring my actions. Her gaze shifts from my eyes to my lips, and back to my lips again, and I’m extremely aware of what I want at this moment. 

“Can I kiss you?” I ask, my hand still in hers, studying her with a careful gaze. 

She nods almost immediately, and at the same time, we surge forward to meet the other’s lips, her hands immediately cupping my cheek and my hands moving to her waist. I hear the click of her seatbelt being unfastened, and suddenly she’s in the passenger seat with me, straddling my waist and continuing to keep her lips locked firmly on mine. 

It’s like I can’t get enough of her, my hands exploring her back, eventually lowering them to squeeze her ass, which elicits a low moan from her. I pull back a little, panting and see her eyes blown out with lust, causing me to groan from just how deep my desire for her ran in this moment. I let one of my hands to run over her bottom lip, pulling it down and letting it bounce back up, enamored by just how close she was. 

“Fuck.” I murmur, unable to contain my awe at her and without wasting a moment, she’s grabbing my hair roughly to pull me back in again to meet her mouth with mine. When given the opportunity from another soft moan from her, I immediately slip my tongue into her mouth, relishing in the way she grabs my collar and presses her body against mine, matching my enthusiasm one for one. 

It felt so good to be wanted by her.

She starts to whimper at the intensity of our prolonged contact, and the sound activates something primal in me. It was almost as if once I heard it, I couldn’t go back. Pulling myself back from the kiss, I start to trail my lips up and down her neck, leaving hot, wet kisses in my wake while she writhed in my lap, her fingers tugging on my hair in desperation. I played with the motion for a bit, testing out certain points on her, before finding that she’d moan loudest at a pulse point at the junction in which her jawline met her neck. I sucked on the spot, being sure to leave a large, dark mark.

I didn’t care what would happen after this night, but for right now, she was mine, and I intended to treat her as such. 

“You said your hotel room was nearby, right?” She pants, starting to move her thighs off mine. “We can go and-” 

I immediately wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back against me with a force that surprised even me, before gripping her hair and placing my mouth near the shell of her ear. I can hear her squeak at the motion, but her legs relax back into straddling mine. 

“I want you now.” I whisper, my voice hoarse and low. “We can go, if you’d like but- I need you now. I can’t stress that enough.” 

She melts in my arms as I say that, and a grin comes upon my face from the desire she was displaying as well. She nods quickly, before moving her fingers to my belt, and just upon hearing the sounds of the hardware moving, my head involuntarily falls back because- holy fuck. Feeling her so close to where my pants were now currently constricted nearly had me finishing right there. I could barely look at her without feeling overwhelmed. I feel my cock being pulled from my briefs, and I let out a moan. 

I look at her again, and she’s the picture of lust. Her pupils are dilated and her hair is messy, and her mouth slightly agape. She’s everything I want right now. All I want. 

“You’re so big.” She mumbles, leaning back, her hand wrapped around me, beginning to stroke me in a gentle, rhythmic motion. 

“Yeah?” I murmur back, breathing in sharply when her thumb runs over my slit, feeling the precum already dripping down my shaft. Even her hand is making me question if I’ll finish right here before ever getting to be inside her.

“Yeah.” She whispers, almost breathlessly. 

“You can take it.” I say, looking at her, and the girl looks like she’s about to moan off of my words alone. She licks her lips before responding, her voice a bit higher than before. 

“I don’t have a condom- but I’m clean and-” 

“Yes.” I respond immediately and she moves quickly. My fingers, as if possessed, move to unbutton her dress a bit, letting her breasts spill out (to my delight). The urge to strip her bare for me crosses my mind, but then I’m acutely aware that we were in her car, and the risk of being caught was far too high for the pleasantries I wished to indulge her and myself in, and I find myself slightly wishing we had gone to the hotel room. Next time.

Before I get too caught up in the fantasy of possibly ever fucking her again, I see her reach under her dress, presumably to move her panties aside and groan at the thought. My hands roam over her body to find her hips, slowly guiding her onto my cock, her walls squeezing around me tightly as her hips met mine. 

Her moans were sweet, but I found my hand covering her mouth quickly, watching as her eyes shone with pleasure with just the slightest movement from either of us. 

“Need you to stay quiet, pretty girl.” I murmur. “You can do that for me, right?”

She nods, eager to please, and I keep my hand on her mouth for a moment too long as I watch her eyes flutter shut, then open, her hands wrapping around my neck to stabilize herself. She starts moving then, lifting off until my tip is the only thing inside of her, before slamming against me, creating the best type of friction for both of us, causing there to be desperation for more. My hands rush down to grip her waist, and I can barely stifle my own noises from how fucking good she feels.

It’s a frenzy after that, and I match her movements with thrusts from below. I know it’s enjoyable for her, based on how hard she’s trying to not make a single sound, but still lets out the tiniest little whimpers and gasps when my cock grinds against her spot, and from the way her thighs shake every single time I disappear deep into her, a small bulge forming in her lower stomach every time I pushed into her. Every clench and squeeze of her cunt drives me insane, and I can’t help the low groan slipping out of me. 

Her movements get erratic, signaling her end, and I grin at how quickly I managed to get her there. My fingers move to stroke her clit in circular motions, savoring the way I could hear her whisper my name, grinding down on my dick and chasing the feeling of my fingers on her. 

“Close?” I mumble, biting down on her shoulder lightly, which causes a louder moan to slip out of her. 

“Yes. Yes.” She whispers, breathlessly. “Please, Spencer. Oh god. Please.” 

I jut into her more rapidly, continuing the motions against her, before her walls tighten and squeeze around me, and her cunt flooding the base of my cock. I continue to move like a man possessed, swallowing the moans of her orgasm with a messy kiss, before finally, I reach my release as well, coating her walls from the inside out. 

She pants for a second, collapsing against my shoulder as she tries to catch her breath, and I stroke her hair, attempting to do the same. She moans softly, her hands wrapped around me as her eyes flutter open and shut. 

“I was wrong.” She mumbles, nuzzling into my shoulder, kissing it softly. I’m unsure about the meaning of the words, so I quietly ask her. 

“What about?” 

“You’re incredibly different from when we were in high school.” She says, softly. 

“Good or bad different? I ask, a little self consciously, which is amusing considering I’m still inside her. 

“Good. Really, really fucking good.” She clarifies, quickly, with a dazed smile. I lean in, kissing her a bit more softly now, letting my lips languidly trace over hers. 

“You too.” I murmur, and I can feel her smile against my lips.

No regrets about this one. 

WOAHHH. oh em gee. a fic! so so so deeply sorry i didn't live upto posting more fics this december and january, but i swear i'm gonna keep trying to at least get two out a month. valentines day is coming up, so you already know i'm gonna try and write something fluffy and cute for that, so look out for that. as usual, thank you so so much for any and all continued support. it seriously means the world to me and i cannot say that enough <3 i hope this fic was enjoyable. like, reblog, comment, whatever <3 just ty for reading!! <3

[wttcsms]

DRUNKEN CONFESSIONS WITH HIGURUMA PLEASE AND THANK YOU! (and maybe some nsfw if you're up to it?)

a rendering of regret, hiromi higuruma ;

pairing hiromi higuruma x f!reader word count 4.1k synopsis like everyone else who suffers from early onset midlife crisis syndrome, hiromi discovers two important things: he wishes he could fix things between you two and YOLO. like any other man with nothing to lose, he finds himself leaving the city and going back to his hometown, ready to be back in your good graces. content contains drinking, small town that sucks the life out of you but is home as the setting, being disappointed that growing up does not, in fact, solve all your problems, hiromi's mother is heavily implied to have committed su*cide, smut (riding hiromi, creampie, drunk sex)

Returning back to his hometown shouldn’t be as shameful of an ordeal as he makes it out to be, but the thing is, when you make a big show out of outgrowing small-town life, only to come back when it turns out the Real World sucks the soul out of you, it all becomes startlingly clear that you were never supposed to make it out in the first place. Becoming a hotshot attorney in Tokyo quickly disillusions any and all grandeur of being special and adulthood for Hiromi Higuruma, resident prodigy. 

It turns out that city living is even worse than a quaint little town because, while there’s really nothing to do back home, there is entirely too much going on in Tokyo. The subway is always crowded and reeks of B.O., cheap perfume, overpowering cologne, and crushed dreams. There is never not a case that needs his immediate attention. With so many people existing all in the same place, at the same time, it somehow becomes increasingly harder to form real, human connections. 

He knows that his mental break was long overdue, and honestly, he’s just shocked that his snapping hadn’t occurred sooner. Innocent people get tried for crimes on a daily basis; he knows this. He goes into this job knowing this, and witnesses it firsthand. It shouldn’t hit him so hard, but you told him, once upon a time, that at his core, he’s a good person. Hiromi Higuruma doesn’t think that a good person would punch both the prosecutor and the judge, but it certainly made him feel good. 

The justice system is a sham, and growing up sucks. Hiromi thinks that for someone who popped out his mother’s womb a full-blown genius, he was a bit slow on the uptake when it came to realizing these two monumental truths. He decides not to waste any more time on trying to tackle the world’s problems on how he used to do, which is rationally and with a clear-head. Lately, Hiromi’s just been letting the intrusive thoughts win more often than not. He’s certainly not punching judges in the courtroom, but he tests out new experiences when he’s feeling particularly adventurous.

Adulthood is all about being able to take a bath in your suit and tie, and no one can give you shit about it besides yourself. There are absolutely no consequences to doing this, and Hiromi thinks people should advertise adulthood as getting to do batshit crazy things to yourself without fear of a scolding. That is much more realistic and sounds much more promising than bullshit like you’re going to change the world. The world sucks. Everybody sucks. Tokyo sucks. His hometown sucks. He sucks.

Perhaps the only good thing to come out of this life is you. You, Hiromi thinks, are the only person in the world who he can never look at differently. 

Hiromi realizes too late that when you spend your whole life running from something, it eventually catches up to you, and it usually does whenever you’re out of breath and decidedly not prepared for life and past regrets to start pummeling you into the gravel. Hiromi has spent literal years avoiding any trace of you, and now he’s back home, probably worse off than he was when he originally decided to ditch this place, and his biggest past regret is standing in the staff lounge, making coffee from the communal coffee machine.

A shame, really. It’s almost embarrassing to be a grown man who gets literal heart eyes whenever he sees you. It’s doubly embarrassing whenever he realizes it’s been a decade since he’s last seen you, and that somehow, you still manage to make his heart get all hyperactive on him. 

“Hi, stranger,” you say, pretending like the fucking ghost of Christmas Past isn’t standing in the staff lounge of the community college you work at. 

“Hi,” he says, because for all his booksmarts, he can’t seem to come up with anything better. When he first skipped town, not even bothering to walk the stage for graduation, there had been a lot left unsaid between the two of you. Bringing up the past now, dredging up buried memories, seems like a bad idea. 

“You must be the new law instructor.” 

“Yes.” Apparently, as eloquent as he can be when it comes to defending his clients, he sure as shit is awful when it comes to saying the right thing to you. Then again, there are no instruction manuals to reference when it comes to facing your ex-girlfriend from high school who you never actually properly broken up with, just ghosted. 

You stare at him, study him for just a second. Take in his tired appearance. The circles under his eyes. An apathetic expression you aren’t quite used to. Strands of hair still stick up a bit in the back of his head and a few more hang in his face — that, at least, is one thing that hasn’t changed. 

“Good for you.” You tell him, and you leave it at that.

Hiromi Higuruma returning back to this shithole is certainly not on your bingo card on situations you thought would occur this year. Growing up, you were convinced more than anybody that Hiromi didn’t belong here. Not because of his appearance or the fact that his household was infamous for being a loveless, lifeless shell of a home and family, but because if anybody was destined for bigger and better things in life, it certainly would be Hiromi. 

He’s always been smart, to the point where the teachers would practically give him free rein to do whatever he wanted to during class because he already studied the material beforehand. Usually, he just spent this time helping you with your assignments. You remember making a comment to him in high school one time. 

“I’m holding you back, aren’t I?” You poke the book he’s ignoring in favor of helping you edit your essay for English Lit. 

“No,” he says, eyes glued to your paper. He’s erasing something. 

“Sure I am. You could be doing anything else besides editing my paper.” 

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.” 

“You shouldn’t.” He’s rewriting a sentence for you. “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.” 

“You should stop helping me, Higuruma.” 

He finally looks up from the paper. “What?”

“You should stop helping me.” You yank back your essay, unceremoniously shoving it into your bookbag. “It’s bad for me in the long run.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ll just keep on depending on you, and then what am I gonna do when you leave?” 

You mention this hypothetical as if it’s a fact. As if he is one hundred percent going to ditch this town and everybody in it. At the time you’re saying this, he doesn’t even know he’s going to leave yet.

“What makes you think I’m leaving?”

“You’ll die if you stay here.” Looking back, it’s comical how teenagers have a bad habit of voicing assumptions and then presenting them as fact. Hiromi Higuruma is the type of guy who cares so damn much about people and the state of the world, no matter where he goes, death’s going to follow. Caring is killer. 

“Even if I do leave, I’d want you to come with me.” He doesn’t know why he says this, but he knows that it’s the truth. If you want to stay here, that’s the only reason he needs to stay. If you want to go, he’ll have his bags packed. 

You search his eyes, looking for a possibility that he’s just saying stuff to appease you. Apparently, you find the sincerity you’re looking for because you give him a bright smile, hands already digging in your bookbag in search of your now-crumbled up essay. 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” 

He seals the deal by interlocking his pinky with yours. This is a sacred act. You made it a strict rule in your friendship, and Hiromi is a stickler for rules. You can’t break a pinky promise; it’s the type of vow that transcends legality. To break a pinky promise would be to break off your friendship, make it null and void. So, when the time to walk the stage and receive your diploma in front of the town comes, you’re confused as to why Hiromi isn’t there. He’s not home, either. 

Hiromi left, his dad tells you. He looks like Hiromi, but since that’s his father, it’s the other way around. The only difference, besides the fact that he is a grown-up, is that Mr. Higuruma has what you call dead eyes. Lifeless. Like, he’s looking, but he’s not really seeing what’s there. He talks funny, too. All flat and emotionless, like he’s perpetually unbothered. You can’t even tell how he feels about his son’s departure, or the fact that there’s a teenage girl on his doorstep at seven in the evening, still wearing your cap and gown. 

“Do you know where to?” You ask Mr. Higuruma, still hopeful, still feeling the ghost of his pinky twisted around yours.

“Tokyo.” 

That checks out. You always knew Hiromi was meant for something more. 

“I’m shocked he’s not put behind bars,” Yuki tells you, wiping down the bar counter. “Didn’t you hear what went down in the courtroom with him and that judge?”

It had made the news. You normally don’t care to tune in, but it was something that concerned Hiromi. Of course you heard all about it. 

“I just don’t know what he’s doing back here.” 

“This place is a dump. ‘Course someone down on their luck is gonna come slinking back in here.” 

“Yuki…” You look at your best friend. “Didn’t you technically come back, too?”

“Well I never said I wasn’t down on my luck, now did I?” You can’t imagine someone like Yuki having to come back home with her tail tucked in between her legs. Yuki is the opposite of a loser; while the world beats people to a pulp, Yuki curbstomps the world. If Tokyo managed to send Yuki and Hiromi packing their bags, you don’t want to leave your hometown. Ever.

You meet Hiromi in grade school. Your town is too small to actually have its own public school, and so all the kids from home walk the two miles to the designated bus stop where this ugly, wretched faded yellow deathtrap on wheels comes squeaking and squealing to pick you up and take you all to the nearest city’s school.

Everyone knows that you all are the students from the rinky-dink town that’s such a shithole that it can’t even produce its own school. Finding work in that town is hard enough as it is, but you grow up used to being surrounded by your other financial equals. It’s hard to find your footing amongst a crowd of kids who get new shoes every school year and can afford the fancy crayons. You know, the ones that aren’t just glorified lumps of colored wax that would probably work better as candles instead of cheap art supplies. 

Hiromi gets most of the city students’ attention, though. It’s not as if it’s a surprise to you that they like to pick on him for his nose — it’s like the joke’s practically staring them right in the face. 

You are surprised, though, that he takes it so hard. He’s sitting alone at the front of the bus, staring out the window, and you think you catch a tear running down his cheek. 

You know that Hiromi is always early to a fault; he waits outside for the bus a good thirty minutes before it’s even scheduled to show up, just to ensure that he won’t miss it. You have to get up extra early as a result because you think it would be better to try to make friends with Hiromi without an audience. 

Before you can lose all confidence in yourself, you go for it. You take one grubby little hand of yours and swipe awfully close to his face, nearly hitting his nose in the process.

“Got your nose!” You wave your hand in the air, smile slowly falling when you realize that he doesn’t look amused. “Sorry. I was trying to help.”

“How was that supposed to help?” He doesn’t sound mean when he says it. He sounds curious, like he’s genuinely trying to hear you out. You will soon learn that that is the type of person Hiromi is. He might be the only person in the world who doesn’t judge someone within the first five seconds of meeting them. 

“Y’know, so when the other kids in school make fun of your nose, you know they’re lying.”

“How would they be lying?” 

“‘Cause I got your nose. How are they making fun of something they can’t see?”

Logically, young Hiromi knows that this is not the case. His big, fat nose is still smack dab in the center of his face, and the “nose” you captured is just your tiny thumb tucked under your fingers. Logical thinking is no fun, though, so Hiromi goes with it, and the two of you have been inseparable ever since.

Hiromi Higuruma has a lot of regrets, actually. In his mental tier list, the bottom of the barrel shit is made up of petty things, like not punching his grade school bullies in the face for being little assholes, or not trying Kitakata ramen when he had the chance. Then, there’s the stuff just a level above, which is less-silly things, like how he regrets the way he handled certain cases and the fact that in his haste to return home, he didn’t pack a pair of comfortable house slippers, and the ones he bought at the only convenience store in town feel too stiff. 

At the very top, his biggest regrets are all centered around you. This isn’t to say that he regrets you, but he does know that his treatment of you haunts him during the nights he lies awake in bed and wonders why the fuck life sucks so hard. He hates that he didn’t admit to you that he liked you sooner, that he wasted so many of his high school days awkwardly trying to hide the fact that he’s hopelessly devoted to you. He hates that he didn’t get a chance to take you to prom. He hates that he didn’t tell you that he was leaving, that he didn’t think to bring you with him, that he never called or texted after he left because he was too embarrassed and scared at the prospect of you not wanting to hear from him after how he left without a trace. He regrets not telling you why he left, that he caught his father and his mistress together, and how disgusted he felt at seeing such a sight. That the next day, he vowed to tell his mother, only to knock on her bedroom door (it’s no surprise that his parents never shared the same bed for as long as Hiromi could remember), and when she didn’t answer, he opened the door, only to be greeted by her still body in bed, three empty orange pill bottles on the nightstand. 

He couldn’t have stayed, and he was rendered speechless. Final transcripts had already been released, and walking for graduation was optional. Hiromi took whatever meager savings he had, clicked “accept” for his college admission to Tokyo U (full-ride, because if anyone was going to get a scholarship based on academic merit, it would be Hiromi), and skipped town. Everything in the world to him appeared to be in shades of black and white, the occasional bright orange catching his eye, haunting him, taunting him. 

Life is too short, though. Too short to waste time in bed, in an apartment he hates located in a city he despises, to look back at all his shortcomings. If he could go back in time and do things differently, he would. He wouldn’t have punched that judge or the prosecutor (even if they totally did deserve it), and he wouldn’t have kept his acceptance into Tokyo U a secret from you. He would have taken you to prom, and he would’ve asked you to come with him to Tokyo, escape this dump of a town and take on the big city together. He thinks he probably would have hated Tokyo less if you were with him, you and your nonsensical logic that makes the worst things to ever happen to him suddenly seem bearable. 

He should tell you all of this, but he’s drunk because Yuki is manning the bar, and she pours with a heavy hand. He never really spoke to the blonde despite the fact that they grew up down the street from each other, attended school at the exact same time, same grade, same everything. The downside of living here, it seems, is that everyone you’ve ever known is entirely unavoidable. You run into them everywhere. You want to drown your sorrows in amber liquid served in questionable, grimy glassware, and the person aiding in your slow death is the very girl who used to wake you up in the middle of the night due to the sound of her revving up her obnoxiously loud and ancient (she claims vintage) motorcycle that she bought for cheap at a junkyard. 

The upside of living here, it seems, is that since everyone is unavoidable, you are running into him here. 

You take a seat to his left, conveniently leaving one barstool between the two of you. Yuki is joking around with you, saying something that makes you laugh, and the urge to do something very stupid builds up in Hiromi. He’s been totally chill with the whole “letting the intrusive thoughts win” routine, but he wants to handle his relationship with you with a delicate hand.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks you, hoping that his words don’t come out slurred. 

“I’d normally say yes, but Yuki gives me my drinks on the house.” 

Yuki yanks back the drink she made you. “If Ace Attorney over here wants to pay for your drink, you’re getting charged, hon. Sorry. Girl’s gotta make a living.” 

Conversation with Hiromi comes naturally to you. Everything you do with Hiromi comes naturally. The alcohol helps warm you right back up to him, dormant feelings now coming back to life. You think you’re too old to have butterflies in your tummy when you make tequila-induced attempts at flirting with him (at least, you think you’re flirting; it’s been a while since you actually tried). You think that you definitely don’t give a shit whenever he plays along, because that’s just what he does, what he always has been doing. 

When he left, everyone in town was under the impression that Hiromi had been stringing you along. The fact of the matter is, you have Hiromi wrapped around your finger to the point where he doesn’t think he could ever get unstuck. 

Everything you do with Hiromi comes naturally, and it’s only natural to have him walk you back to your apartment. It’s only natural that you invite him inside to “catch up” some more, and it’s only natural that “catching up” involves you grinding on his lap, sinking his body deeper into the pink loveseat in your living room. 

Your dress is tugged up to your waist because easy access means you don’t have to get naked to get dicked down. Hiromi’s suit pants are admittedly not made for quick fucks, but if there’s a will, there’s a way. His pants are unzipped, briefs adjusted enough so that his dick can unceremoniously be freed from its confines and make its way to where it truly belongs, which is buried deep inside the warmth of your cunt. 

Hiromi finds pleasure in the discomfort of it all. If he was doing this with anyone else, he’d be hyper aware of the stiffness of his dry cleaned suit, and how the loveseat seems to protest with the combined weight of you two rocking back and forth on top of it. He’d be too irritated with the way sex would wrinkle his clothes, and he probably wouldn’t even be this hard because he drinks so he has a valid excuse for never taking a woman home with him. 

Because it’s you, everything is felt to the extreme, but you have this way, this charm, this spell, that makes everything that happens to Hiromi better. The best. You are the best he’s ever had, and he thinks he grunts this into your ear as you rest your body against his, upper body limp and boneless, your lower half moving up and down, trying to get a good angle so his cock can hit right there.

He kisses your shoulder, and he experimentally thrusts up, and you let out a string of moans that are interspersed with little breathy fuck’s, and he thinks this might be one of his most favorite sounds in the whole entire world. So he keeps thrusting, keeps relishing in the way your walls seem to clamp down on him, keeps enjoying the way you hang onto him and whimper out his name. 

He is drunk, and he is in love, and he knows that he didn’t come here with the intention of fucking you boneless, but you don’t seem to mind, didn’t seem to mind when you kissed him first and started grinding on him, the catalyst to the situation he’s in now. 

He planned on telling you the truth, the story about why he left, about how he feels stupid on how he handled the whole situation. The bourbon he downed earlier this night seems to be affecting his brain, though, because all he knows is that there is only one confession he is capable of giving to you right now.

“I love you.” He groans, his hands finding your waist, gripping hard. “Fuck, I love you. Never stopped.” 

His cock feels too good when it's buried deep inside of you. You know it’s silly and stupid, but you want to tell Hiromi that you want him to fuck himself so deep that he can touch your heart with his dick. No other man would want to hear some creep shit like that, but Hiromi is Hiromi. He would get it. You drunkenly tell him your wish, and he lets out a little breathy laugh, rolls his hips, and rocks your world. 

“I’ll give it my best shot.” He says, and because the alcohol tells him that his sobriety makes him a bitch, he reminds you once more. “I love you.” 

You cum. The sex is drunken and messy, and while drunk sex usually happens in a blurry haze for you, you are seeing everything clearly. You can see the crease in between his brows as he concentrates on maintaining the perfect balance between relishing in your wetness and not overstimulating you. You can see the way his eyes greedily, lovingly, admire the messy sight of your joined bodies. You can see his nose, tall and as noticeable as ever, and so Hiromi. 

You want to tell him that you love his nose, but speaking is hard when he dicks you down like this. All you can do is press a kiss to the tip of it. This only makes him tighten his grip on your waist, his thrusts getting more erratic, and then you feel a nice warmth flooding inside of you. The two of you are rational adults, and rational adults know that cumming inside should be a no-no between two people who have yet to establish what the fuck you are to each other. 

“I love your nose.” You tell him, when you finally manage to catch your breath. He’s still buried inside of you, and you’re afraid that when he does eventually have to pull you off of him, everything’s going to come spilling out of you. The thought of separating from Hiromi makes you frown. You just got him back. 

“I love you.” He says back, for the nth time this night. Maybe he’s making up for lost time. Maybe he’s just drunk. You don’t care. Hiromi is back, and even if he leaves again, you’re happy that he’s at least here with you right now. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“If I tell you when I’m sober, will you believe me?” 

He’ll sober up tomorrow. If he tells you when he’s sober, that means he’ll have to stay. He won’t go. 

“Yes.” You say, trying not to reveal the fact that you already believe him. Hiromi is not as impassive as he thinks he is. “Pinky promise.” 

You feel the familiar warmth of his finger twisting ‘round yours. 

“Pinky promise.”

[lavendermunson]

mine - steve harrington

summary you get separated from the love of your life after spending the best night together, would the universe bring you back to him? based on this request, thank you so much!

cw college!steve, college!reader. fluff, angst and more angst then more fluff. modern times!! allusions to sex. reader wears glasses sometimes.

w.c 9.2k

a/n created a playlist for this one (i struggled a little bit and the songs helped) thank you to @stveharringtn and @ihatepeanutss for reading the early chapter and motivating me to continue ily! NO PROOFREAD BECAUSE IM EXCITED

dividers by @saradika

I. Left a small town and never looked back.

Due to your parents' jobs, you had to move frequently, and the longest you stayed in one place was three years. You were so used to this, following the single rule for yourself: never get attached.

One problem, it was impossible not to fall for Steve Harrington. 

You met Steve in Hawkins, and the three years you spent together were magical. Talking late at night, going to the movies, and hanging out by the lake. Holidays were always spent with him, you invited him to your house, and your parents loved him. Even though your little brother was only 8 years old, he knew Steve was important to the family.  

The last year of high school was just around the corner. You’ve talked to Steve about graduating together, going to college, and spending the rest of your lives together. Watching each other through all the ups and downs of adulthood, you knew Steve was going to stay with you no matter what, he would be there for you, and you would be there for him. It was all a perfect dream, you’d have someone to celebrate your victories and cheer you up when the inevitable bad luck followed you around.

That dream was crushed when your parents told you they had to move again. You were heartbroken, and even more so because you were going to be separated from your favorite person. It was the first time you'd broken the rule, you got attached to Steve, and you fell in love with him.

The news broke him. He couldn’t sleep for the rest of the week, he wanted to be with you all the time, like you promised.

———

Before leaving Hawkins, you decided to confess your feelings for him. It felt wrong to pack that secret into your suitcase. Steve felt the same, he liked you too, but he didn’t want to admit he was in love with you yet. He decided to make your last day at Hawkins the best day you’ve ever had.

The first stop was the diner outside of town to eat burgers, fries, and milkshakes like you always do. At your favorite booth, this time it had a vase with flowers in the center of the table and a beanie babie.

“This is the one I saw in the magazine.” You take the white stuffed bear, it has a red ribbon around his neck and an embroidered red heart. 

“In case you need someone to hug,” he says, looking at the laces of his shoes and holding back his tears.

“Smells good! I’m so hungry.” You saw the way his smile faded, changing the subject was better than crying already. You had to enjoy the night.

While sipping from your freshly made milkshakes— stealing the cherry on top of his milkshake as usual—and watching Steve go over the old jukebox to play your favorite songs, the pocket of his jeans ended up empty from using all the coins he had.

“Get up! We have to dance.” Steve stands up, reaching for your hand.

He had to choose wisely for the next song, it was the last coin he had, so of course Be My Baby, by The Ronettes, was playing. He took your hand, squeezing it, and placed his free hand on your back to keep you closer. You rest one of your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat fast for you.

Everyone in the diner was watching you, but you didn’t care. You were in the arms of your boy, your love, and it was the last night with him before a while. You had to dance like nobody was watching.

Leaving the checkered floor and the red booths, the second stop was the theater, cuddling while watching ‘Before Sunrise’ . It's one of your favorite movies, and it came back to the big screen for its anniversary.

Both of you get the feeling that it is the perfect movie to watch on a day like this. It was perfect because you don’t know what’s going to happen with you two in the future, just like Celine and Jesse. Your love for each other looks like that, it feels like that, and the best part is that it’s real, not something written for a movie. You aren’t acting or performing. You are feeling it.

You feel so lucky you didn’t meet him for just one night, you had spent so much time with Steve. The endless walks around the park and picking flowers in spring while he holds the basket and you place your favorites on it so you can take them home. The fun summers, hanging out by the pool, and eating a lot of ice cream—one of those years you had free ice cream thanks to Steve working at Scoops Ahoy. You spent the entire summer making fun of his tiny sailor suit, not wanting to admit he looked really good in it. 

Fall was always fun, dressing up for Halloween, and joining the kids to trick or treat, so at the end, you can steal some of their best candy bars. The adorable winter, playing in the snow and getting your nose red, drinking hot cocoa and marshmallows while watching Christmas movies.

Everything comes back to your mind like you were watching your movie. Feeling safe and loved with Steve’s arms around you. You never fought before, nothing went bad, but everything was over. For a while.

Steve holds your hand while you walk through the parking lot. The night sky is decorated with stars, so big and bright. He interlocks his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand as you walk to his BMW. 

The last stop is Lover’s Lake. He parks his car in the usual spot—your favorite spot. It’s the best place to feel the magic of the water mixed with the light of the moon. A reminder that you exist on the same planet, even if the miles come between you.

The radio starts to play ‘Don’t you forget about me’. The song was perfect. You take a deep breath. This is a moment you will remember forever.

Both sitting in the hood of his car, he hugs you, shielding you from the cold breeze, and kisses the top of your head while your back rests against his chest. The tears start to spill from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You can't hold the sobs, your chest is giving up.

“Hey, hey!” He turns you around, softly cupping your face between his hands and rubbing the tears away with his thumbs.

“Don’t you dare forget about me,” you whisper, as if the trees were going to be disturbed by your sobs.

“I won’t, I’ll call you every day. But I am going to miss you so much,” he whispers back. 

“I’m scared, Stevie,” you sob, tangling your arms around his neck. “What if we can’t make it?”

“We will, we got this. The love I have for you is stronger than anything else, we won’t let the distance break us.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise”

Pressing his thumbs against your cheeks, he gets close to you. Your lips touch, and it feels like thousands of fireworks light up inside you. You feel one of his hands slide down your arm, and it makes you shiver. His hand rests on your waist and gives it a little squeeze. You jump closer to him than before, and you can feel his lips turn into a grin.

It wasn’t your first kiss with him. You kissed sometimes while playing spin the bottle or when Steve wanted to teach you how to kiss better.

“We will get through this. I'll see you again, and we can live the rest of our lives together.”

He kisses you again, and you open your mouth as he pushes your face to the side with his thumb. He slides his tongue to join yours and get more of the way you taste, honey, strawberries and cherries. Steve is being patient, taking his time brushing his tongue against yours and humming at how good it feels.

This kiss felt more magical, it made your insides bubbly, and your cheeks got warmer. But inside you, the clock was ticking, you had to savor this moment in case the universe turned against you again.

He breaks the kiss, trying to slow his breath. You do the same, opening your eyes slowly.

“I won’t do anything, not tonight." His voice is soft, but the tone is deeper. He feels a knot in his throat. “But next time, I promise I will make you feel so good.”

“I know, next time and the others. There’s only a couple of months left for summer break, and we will see each other again.”

“We will, baby. Now kiss me before I fall to the floor, you look so pretty tonight as you always do.”

“You are beautiful, Stevie.”He kisses you again, not getting enough of you. He kissed you before you went inside the house and he would’ve kissed you a thousand times more if he knew it was going to be the last time.

II. Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts. 

You were disconnected and heartbroken by the time you spent the first week of your last year of high school at a different school. Steve picked a few shifts a week at the local coffee shop after school, always with Robin by his side.

Hawkins felt so empty without you. Every time he saw a happy couple smiling, kissing, or hugging, he felt nauseous and jealous. His friends knew how he felt, they missed you too, but they never stopped calling you. 

The only thing that kept him going were your calls, you called every single night. Tell him about your day, your new school, and your new friends. He tells you about school, work, Robin, and the kids. It was good, he loved hearing your voice and watching you through his screen.

“I can’t believe it! I told you! Steve Harrington’s first A+ essay, and without my help. I feel a little wounded, you don’t need me at all!”

He felt so proud of himself. You were the last one to know about it but you are the most excited one. Even more excited than him.

“You are a great tutor, all those tips and seeing my practice essays marked with a pink glittery pen helped me a lot”

“I'm so proud of you, you are capable of anything I know!”

“Honey…” Steve’s worried face makes your heart sink.

“Yes?”

“I’m always going to need you. I can’t live without you.”

You press both of your hands against your chest as if that were going to soothe your pain. The damage you caused him is evident, you shouldn’t have broken that stupid rule.

“I miss you, Stevie. I can’t do this without you.”

“I miss you too, honey. And you can, you have me here. Always”

Steve feels his head heavier each minute, the long hours at the coffee shop kill him. 

“We should go to sleep, yeah?” he says, noticing your sleepy face. 

“We should. Good night. Call me tomorrow!”

“Please, I don’t know if I can survive without hearing your voice”

You get closer to your camera, blowing him a kiss.

“I’ll annoy you with my voice every night, honey!”

“I’d love that baby. Good night,” he says, blowing a kiss back.

When you hang up, he tosses his laptop to the floor. It falls on the pile of unwashed clothes he has. 

“Weird,” he says to himself, looking at his laptop resting on the clothes. He takes a look around his room. It’s a mess, he makes a mental note to clean it, and he can’t stress over it right now.

Steve lays with his back against the mattress. He remembers the way you brought your hands up to your chest. He does the same, hoping to understand why you did it.

His warm palms rest against his chest, now he knows. He feels it. Steve applies a bit of pressure to his chest, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

So much for trying, it felt like maybe five minutes had passed, and when he glanced at his clock, it was six a.m. His alarm was about to go off, and he had to go downstairs, make breakfast, and get on his way to pick Robin up to go to school.

That’s when he lets out a sob. Time does pass without you, the world doesn’t stop, and he gets even more scared than before. 

Don’t you forget about me.

He grabbed his phone, clicking on his texts. You’ve already said good morning to him.

‘Good morning baby. I'll miss you forever. Have a nice day! Love you”

That’s when he takes a moment to reply. 

‘Good morning, hope you slept well. I love you too.”

And then he gets out of bed to spend another day without you by his side. Knowing you are slipping through his fingers already.

———

Three weeks later.

The calls stopped being frequent, sometimes you were too tired, or sometimes he was too tired. 

“I have to go, I'm exhausted. Can I call you tomorrow?” you ask him.

Steve had to ignore the arrow that just shot through his heart, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The more he talked to you, the more he missed you. When he knew you weren’t going to make it for the summer break he felt his heart break, every time he woke up he was already crying.

This broke your heart too, not being able to see him, or visit your friends. It felt like some strange and strong force was keeping you away and pushing you farther.

“Of course, honey. Sweet dreams”

“Sweet dreams, Stevie.”

He closes his laptop after you hang up, tossing it aside. The pile of clothes seems to be bigger. He swears to do it tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. Whenever he feels like he is alive.

Four months later.

The rush hour at the coffee shop ends up killing Steve’s back, and his feet are burning. To his surprise, his parents are home.

Can this day get any worse? Yes, you haven’t texted him back since yesterday.

"Steve, are you still wasting your time at that damn coffee shop?” His dad shouts he doesn’t have time for this. “Steve?”

He hears his dad’s heavy steps behind him. He catches Steve at the first step of the stairs.

“Didn’t you hear me? Say something!”

“I’m not wasting my time, I'm saving up for college,” Steve whispers. He can feel his dad’s warm breath against his face, and he can smell the whiskey too. 

“College? You are going to work for me, right?”

“No?”

“Then why go to college in the first place?”

Steve pushes his dad away, and his mother joins them.

“It’s clear, John.” she says.

“Say it, Steve.”

“To get the fuck away from you, that’s why,” Steve spits out. His eyes were burning, and tears were threatening to fall.

He gets away from them, locking himself in his room. He doesn’t mind looking at his phone or picking up his laptop, he just wants to fall asleep and get this over with. It has been such a long day.

Six months later.

It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to each other.

“Are you tired?” You ask, and he has been rubbing his eyes for the third time now. “You don’t have to hang up, carry me to your bed.”

Steve leaned his head to the side, just as a confused puppy does. 

“C’mon, I’ll read you a story so you can fall asleep. Like old times.”

“Are you sleeping late?”

“I have assignments to finish, I need to catch up with a few classes because I fell behind.”

“You’ll do great, honey. You are the smartest person I know!”

“Steve Harrington, you are the smartest person I know. We are a couple of months away from college and i'm really excited”

“Me too honey, it sucks you couldn’t come here for summer break”

You will see each other, you will. 

Steve shakes his head with a smile plastered on his face, holding the laptop in his hands. He lets himself lie under his sheets, fixing his pillow and resting his head on it. 

"Are you ready?” you ask him, sitting on your desk and getting comfortable for a long night.

“Ready, no scary tales, please!"

“I promise! Close your eyes now!”

Steve takes the last glance at you, his fingers reaching to touch his screen as if he were touching your face. But he can’t, you are too far away now and it kills him.

“Goodnight”

The bubbly feeling in your chest goes away when you don’t hear a nickname. No honey, no baby. 

“Goodnight!” You wait until his eyes are closed. “And we begin, once upon a time."

Steve falls asleep before getting to know what the story is about, he was so tired and this is the first time he has slept more than three hours.

You close your laptop after watching him turn to the other side. You are trying to return your attention to your assignments, but the only thing you can feel is your heart breaking again. The hope you once had is now fading away. You are managing to live without him, but you don’t want to. 

Steve regrets it. He regrets falling asleep. This time he didn’t wake up seeing your face, he didn’t get to hear your bedtime story, and he didn’t get to tell you how much he loved you. And he regrets it so much because it was the last time he heard your voice.

III. And every time I look at you it’s like the first time

Two years later.

Steve had a hard time finishing high school, but he did. Later, he had to retake a year, but he saved up some money with Robin to move to college. After jumping up and down and celebrating with their friends their acceptance letters, they got into the college dorms for the first year, but that went very badly because they couldn’t be roommates and all the noise from the dorm building was constantly giving them a headache.

He saw Nancy and Jonathan when they all came back from college over the summer break, hanging up with them was the best. They helped him and Robin choose the best apartment outside of college, it was close to the new coffee shop they were working on and close to their buildings. He never saw you again, you were too busy to travel, and he was too. Mindlessly forgetting about each other and not meeting again hurt less. 

When he had to retake a year, he hesitated to call you. He was ashamed of himself, you were supposed to go to the same college in the same year. 

When he finally got his acceptance letter, he didn’t call you. Steve had a feeling you got into college and that your life was going well. He knew he was right.

But it had a good outcome, Steve retook his senior year and moved in with his best friend to start a new chapter in his life. A life that he wanted to enjoy, free from the pressure of his parents and the small town that made him feel so small.

Their first year wasn’t easy. Steve spent most of his time in his dorm, and Robin did too. They didn’t go to parties and didn’t seem too excited about meeting new people.

He felt like a total stranger like he didn’t belong there. He picked the same coffee shop he was working in to hang out, he picked the public library over the school library because it looked terrifying.

Steve spent most of his weekends and days off studying, he was at the top of his class. Whenever he wrote an essay, it reminded him of you, but not as a sign of hope, just a reminder of his small town years.

Robin spent most of her weekends traveling to Hawkins to meet her girlfriend, Chrissy. Taking Steve’s car and cleaning it for him as a thank you.

Steve didn’t meet anyone else, he didn’t want to get attached. If anyone leaves, what’s the point? He was only close to two of his classmates, that was enough for him.

———

“Do you know who’s moving in?” your roommate asks, Diana was always aware of every gossip around college. It was your second year being her roommate, she slowly became your best friend.

“No, who?” You ask, not really wanting to know but giving her satisfaction again.

“A new couple! I hope they aren’t as loud as the last ones.”

“Please, I need to buy new headphones just in case.”

Diana laughs, walking towards her room to place some of the new boxes she moved in. You asked if she wanted help, but she didn’t because her brand new date was going to join her.

You decided to head up to the public library, knowing you had never been there and wanting to explore a new world. It was a couple of blocks away so you had to take the bus.

———

Steve and Robin were driving around their new neighborhood, looking for their new apartment. They were singing the songs on the radio, even if Robin didn’t know most of them because her music taste was original. But Steve knew every one of the trendy songs.

They stopped at a red light. Robin got distracted by two dogs ‘kissing’ each other. Steve looked away with a face of disgust, and that’s when his eyes fell on you.

He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, were you really there? Was he hallucinating? Maybe the smell of coffee is doing some damage to his brain.

But it was you, wasn’t it? without the signature choker, without the thousands of bracelets, and without the red lipstick always staining his shirts. Then it wasn’t you. You had glasses now, a gold chain around your neck, and your hair was slightly lighter.

The bus blocks his view; he wants to scream at it to move, and when it does, you disappear—or the hallucination he had of you disappeared—the honk of the car behind him makes him jump, the green light is on, and he has to move.

“Steve! Are you okay?” Robin shouts, scanning Steve’s face. He looks pale, confused, and scared.

“I think I just saw a ghost,” he says, looking over Robin and then the road ahead.

“You are only nervous, the apartment will be good, don't worry. If they scam us, we have Chrissy to defend us in court.”

“Yeah, stop it lovebird. We are here.”

The apartment buildings look so tall, almost intimidating. Steve drives around looking for the parking lot, and when he finds it, he and Robin take a moment to process it.

"I'm scared too, but we should go in. The moving truck will be here, and we will have a lot to do,” Robin says, taking Steve’s hands and giving them a light squeeze. “We got this”

“Yeah, we should go in now.”

They go over to their apartment, meet their landlord, and get their keys. The moving truck comes a couple of hours earlier, and they move in their new stuff after cleaning the apartment.

A couple of empty boxes and a lot of wrapping paper later, they are done. They only need the heavy couch.

“Even if I help you, we won’t be able to do it”

“I know! I’m thinking”

Steve and Robin are stressed now. Steve’s hair is disheveled already, and Robin’s mascara is smudged around her eyes. They had a long drive, and now they are so tired of getting the apartment ready.

“We should just knock at our neighbors. Their screams stopped.”

“Yeah, I should buy new headphones for that.”

He points in the hallway. Robins walks out of the apartment and knocks on the door. After a few knocks, the door opens, and Steve joins them.

“Steve? You are Nick’s friend, right? I saw you with him the other day,” a guy asks, introducing himself as Eric.

“Uhh yes, Nick! Nice to meet  you."He shakes his hand. “This is Rob, my friend.”

“Nice to meet you!” Eric says, “This is my..."

“I’m Diana, nice to meet you guys,” she waves at them.

“So, we need help moving on our couch. Could you help us?” Robin asks.

“Please, we are a great team, but that couch is very heavy,” Steve says. “What if you help us, and we invite you to eat some pasta? I saw a new Italian restaurant a few blocks away.

“Sure, we can help!” Diana says.

The four of them carry the couch with ease into Steve and Robin’s apartment, they thank their new neighbors, and they all high five, looking proud of themselves. 

“Thank you again, guys, we should go. I'm starving!” Robin smiles at them, and they all nod but Diana.

“Can I invite my friend? She can meet us there,” Diana asks. They all nod, but Eric.

“No way! She hates me,” he says, shaking his head, taking Diana’s hand, and stopping her from going into their apartment. 

“I told you it would take time. She is protecting me,” she says, dragging Eric with her into her apartment. “We will see you guys in a minute.”

“Sure, take your time,” Steve says. Their neighbors leave and shut the door behind their backs.

When they are gone, he wraps his hands around Robin’s neck. He looks over the apartment and smiles.

“We made it,” he says.

“We made it!” She says back, hugging his waist and rubbing his back.

They break the hug after a few minutes, looking over the almost finished apartment. There’s some stuff left to unpack.

“Wait for Chrissy to see this, she is going to love it.”

“Is she coming? Tomorrow?” Steve asks, looking at his friend and her lovesick smile.

“Yes! I think I'll finally ask her the question"

“Already? Isn't it too soon?”

“Dingus, when you know, you know. Life is short, we can’t lose time stressing over everything,” she says, rubbing his shoulders. “You will find someone, maybe not, you know who, or maybe you will. Let time choose.”

He knew Robin was talking about you. Even if Steve moved on and got his shit together, he was still missing you and the part of him you took with you. No matter how many dates he had, how many times Hopper talked to him. He wanted you, something far from impossible. 

“You should write that on a note and put it in the fridge." They both laugh. "I'm very proud of you.”

“Don’t make fun of me, or you will lose your best man spot. I will give it to Eddie.” Robin gets a napkin out of a box and cleans her mascara.

“Hey! Who used to drive you everywhere and still does?”

“I'm joking!”

“I know,” he says, giving her a pat on the back. “Good luck with your proposal.”

“I still need a ring, not all of us carry our grandmother’s rings everywhere we go.”

“Shut up! I'll help you get a ring.”

“Yes!”

They high five again, and they hear knocks on the door. They see their neighbors again.

“My friend isn’t coming, I think she is with her boyfriend. But we can go now!”

“Yay! Sorry about your friend."Robin gets closer to Diana, leaving Steve behind with Eric.

“Aren’t you together?” he asks.

“No, we are friends. Platonic with a capital P!” Steve replies, walking to the door and joining the girls.

“Cool, maybe you can date Teddy and smooth the anger out of her,” Eric says.

“Teddy?” Steve asks, walking to the parking lot.

“Oh, Di’s best friend,” he says, pointing at Diana. “She has this weird ass white teddy bear, and since then, I call her Teddy.”

“Oh, funny,” Steve says. A weird white teddy bear? No, no, it can’t be. His heart pounds harder against his chest, and he gets back to that night. The diner, the flowers, the beanie baby, and then someone who looked like you at the bus stop.

This can’t be real, he won’t get his hopes high again.

“Are you okay, man? You look scared,” Eric asks Steve, stopping him after he puts the key on his BMW. “Can you drive?”

“Yeah, I can. Don’t worry,” Steve says, his free hand over his chest. “It’s just something that happens.”

“He sees ghosts!” Robin shouts, making everyone laugh.

“We should walk guys, it isn’t that far,” Diana adds.

“Yeah, we could use some fresh air,” Robin says.

They all walk to the restaurant, enjoying a fun night. All of them get the feeling they’ll be close, but tonight they treat each other as strangers. Not sharing all but funny stories and college adventures.

———

When Diana gets home, you are already there, she walks over to the couch to wake you up and help you get to bed.

“Did you talk to Jake?”

“He picked me up from the library, we didn't-"

“Another time will come."

You hum, walking with her to your room. She closes the door, and you walk towards your bed, put your pajamas on, and slip into bed. You try to sleep, trying to keep all the midnight-crushing thoughts away, with the BMW in the parking lot on your mind, it looks very familiar.

———

It’s only 8 a.m, and you sit at home, eating your oatmeal bowl with strawberries, bananas, and a cup of coffee you’ve made yourself. You point to the cup you made for Diana, it has been sitting there for a few minutes. Maybe she wanted a cold brew instead of a nice hot cup. 

“One is Rob, and the other... I don’t remember.”

“Di! You are really bad with names.”

“Are you sure you don’t want ice on your coffee?” you joke.

“No, and yeah, I was a little stoned too, that’s why I don’t remember well.”

“That’s always going to cost you, babe.”

“I know, but I can introduce them later! We are all going to a party, and Rob will pick us up after work because the girl had to see her girlfriend.” She chugs her cup of coffee and puts her jacket on.

“Are you sure his name is Robert?”

“No, it’s Rob!” She still looks unconvinced, but you leave it. “Anyway, is Jake picking you up?”

“I don’t know, we aren’t really on speaking terms.” 

Jake was your boyfriend a couple of weeks before he asked you for a break, and you haven’t “fixed it." He picked you up from the library yesterday, and the whole ride home was quiet and uncomfortable, but something tells you it isn't going to last.

“Call him! He is good for you.”

“I’m not sure about that, but I’ll see you later then.”

“I’ll see you later, babe!”

“Be careful!”

———

You finish washing the dishes and go back to your room to get ready for the party. Minutes later, Diana and Eric show up to drive you to the house. It’s the first party of the semester, and everyone seems pretty excited about it except you. You know if you see Jake again, he will probably break up with you, rip off the band-aid, and go to the girl who has been hanging out with him at the gym.

But you go, not wanting to miss out and excited to see some of your friends who arrived in town. It might not be the best night, but at least you’ll have a cup of cranberry juice with vodka to survive.

You arrive at the party early, not wanting to talk to anyone, yet you get closer to the table in the middle of the dining room and make yourself a cape cod. When it’s done, you get to the living room and sit on the couch, watching as people come over, and some of them wave at you and say hi before going for their drink.

Jake arrives with a girl by his side, He gets closer to her ear to whisper something, and she turns around as he walks to you.

“Can we talk?”

“You are going to break up with me, aren’t you?” You pinch your eyebrows together. 

“Let me explain.”

He sits on the arm of the couch you are sitting on, so close to you. You can already hear his words muffling and how sorry he is about all of it, making up excuses to let you know it’s not your fault he is doing this and the two of you should end your relationship now. Avoid telling the truth and spinning around the subject, reminding you of all the good moments but also all the fights and “breaks” you had.

You look at him through your eyelashes, your tears rolling down your cheeks. Your now ex-boyfriend pinches your chin with his fingers, not letting your gaze fall to your lap or the cup you hold in your hand. He whispers “I’m sorry” thousands of times more, and you refuse to move, feeling the warmth of his fingers against your face for the last time. Then he leaves you alone to find his date, and you wish the earth could swallow you whole.

———

When Steve gets to the party with Robin and Chrissy by his side, he lets the two of them look for a place while he gets their drinks. The house is so tiny that everyone is squeezing each other and bumping into each other on the way to other rooms. Everything smells like alcohol and weed, and even the floor is sticky, but after all, Steve manages to get to the dining room and look for the red solo cups. He takes one and pours tequila into it. He drinks it, feeling the burn down his throat as he keeps his eyes closed. He needs more of these to survive the night.

He looks around, recognizing some people he used to see around in his first year, some of them are customers in the coffee shop he works in. When his head looks over to the living room, he sees the girl from the bus stop, the one who looks like you. 

Steve gets even more confused as you chug your drink, the solo cup covering your face. He turns his head away from the view, even if it’s not you, his mind betrays him.

Where’s the real you? What are you doing right now? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend? A child? A cat? Are you married? 

The question that hurts more is the one he used to think about almost every night. Would he see you again?

He tries to enjoy the party as soon as he sees the girl leave. He misses watching Diana run after you and try to comfort you. 

Your friend takes you home, and Steve stays until the party is over, and he is a bit more sober to take Robin and Chrissy back to their apartment.

———

“Robin? Why did you leave so soon?” Steve asks Robin over the phone, while he tosses empty boxes and bags around.

“We are getting you breakfast! Jesus, what’s your problem?”

“I’m hungover, and I forgot I have to send this email before twelve, but I can’t find my laptop charger, and I can’t find yours either!”

“Shit, I took mine because Chrissy needed my laptop, but I'm sure yours is in your room. We unpacked everything.”

“Fuck! I’ll call you back.”

“Ask Diana for one!”

Stressed out, Steve hangs up the phone before listening to Robin’s last words. Of course, he can ask his neighbor for a favor, and he knows Diana is nice. 

He gets out of his apartment, and a few steps later, he gets in front of the door. He knocks a lot of times to get Diana’s attention, or maybe Eric’s. Steve doesn’t remember if they got back here from the party, but it’s worth trying.

As the door opens, he takes a step forward. “Hey! My laptop charger broke, and I have to send this very important  email-" He takes a deep breath, not believing who is in front of them. “What-”

“It’s you,” he whispers, feeling a knot in his throat and rubbing his clammy hands together.

“It’s me” You rub your eyes one more time, getting rid of the blur on your eyes from being woken up. “Steve?” Your heart starts to beat against your chest so fast that you swear it’s hurting you.

Steve stares at you, it’s like the first time he saw you all those years ago. He didn’t believe in love at first sight until he felt his body giving up and just yearning for you. He feels it all again, you look even more beautiful than before, but with your signature heavy gaze. 

“I'm sorry if I’m interrupting, I can just...“

“No? no. Uh, come in, let me find my charger.”

This is not how you imagined seeing him again. The last time you dreamt about him, you were seeing him for the first time at the Hawkins airport, You ran to him, and he caught you in his arms, kissing every inch of your face. And now, with your heart beating faster than ever and your feet carrying you to your room, you can’t help but feel like you are having a nightmare.

You hurry up, find your charger, and run back to Steve.

“Here, you can keep it. I have two of them,” you say. He still looks at you with his mouth slightly open and his eyes studying every part of your face.

Keep it. He knows you are doing this because you are nice, but a part of you still recognizes all the love you once had for him. Or have, because it never faded away. It’s still your Steve, slightly older and with a confused expression on his face. 

He takes the charger from your hands, your fingers touching him for a couple of seconds. When you finally lock eyes with him, you can see his glassy eyes while yours look the same. He didn’t want to believe it was you, you were so close all this time.

“I thought i’d never see you again,” you whisper, almost inaudible, but he can hear it. As if its ears were trained to hear even the lowest tone of your voice. 

But the air feels tense, awkward. He doesn’t say anything, and you stand in front of him like before, frozen in your place as a wave of anxiety washes you over. You stare at each other, trying to avoid all these feelings rushing through your veins.

“I need to send this email, I’ll be right back.”

He goes back to his apartment, leaving you and your overwhelming feelings alone. You close the door to your apartment and take some time to process everything. Steve is here, your Steve. The boy you once called the love of your life, the only boy you’ve ever loved.

You weren’t sure you were going to see him again. You gave up on it a few months ago, knowing it would take a miracle to see him again. And he was so close to you all this time.

When you hear the knock on the door again, you open it faster this time. Steve stands up in front of you, watching your tears roll down your cheeks. He wraps his arms around your body, hugging you so tightly as if you were going to disappear. Your arms hug his torso, letting your head fall against his chest for a second before your sighs turn into sobs.

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” Steve whispers, convincing himself to not let you go. He fears the alarm will go off and he will have to wake up from his dream. 

“I know, it feels like a dream, please don’t let go,” you say, as if you were reading his mind all this time. 

“I won’t”

Steve rests his chin on your head, letting his own tears fall. You stay in the hug for a long time, feeling his warmth against your body, and his arms push you closer to him. You dig your fingers in his back, wanting to feel him more and wishing for this not to be some sick joke.

He places one of his hands on your head, kissing your forehead, before leaning back and searching for your face.

“Hi,” you say as you look at him, tears on his face just like yours.

“Hi,” he smiles, slightly. You do the same, looking at every inch of his face. Remembering all the moles your mind seemed to forget with the time.

You admire each other, letting your mind take you back to Hawkins and all those years you spent together.

“I missed you so much,” he says, slicing the awkward silence with a knife, now rubbing your back and trying to get you relaxed. As your sobs stop, you let go of him and invite him inside.

“I missed you too.” You smile again. The inches separating you are killing you, but there’s too much to say and feel.

“You stopped calling,” Steve says, with a sour tone in his voice you’ve never heard before.

“The phone works both ways.” You bite back, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Protecting you from what’s coming.

“I-” Steve mutters, avoiding your eyes and looking all over the room.

“You? What? Did you forget about me?” you ask. “We made a promise.”

The mix of feelings that sit right at the top of your chest starts to reveal themselves. It’s all so confusing, and you weren’t prepared for this. You want to blame him for the time lost, but you know it’s also your fault.

“Why are you bringing this up right now? I saw you for the first time at a fucking bus stop and thought I was going crazy. It’s too much!”

Steve feels relieved; his mind wasn’t betraying him, and he wasn’t going crazy. It was really you—the new you. 

“Just say the truth. You didn’t answer my call when I got into college or when I moved in.”

“You called?”

“I called your house since you didn’t reply to my texts or emails. No one answered.”

“I got into a fight with them, and I moved in with Hopper. I was having a hard time, I’m sorry.”

He confesses. You see the way his lips turn into a pout, his tears threatening to fall again.

“What happened?”

“I messed up, had to retake a year.”

"Oh,” it’s the only thing you can think of. Some things made sense, but you still had a lot of questions.

“I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed and so disappointed in myself. No one heard about you, or your family, so I thought you didn’t want to see me, and I had the feeling you were fine without me.”

“We had to move again, two times. But this is the college of our dreams, I didn’t see you here the first year. I thought you chose a different one.”

“You know me, I don’t break promises.”

He looks back at you again, it takes everything in him not to walk to you and kiss you. It takes everything in you to not do the same.

“Listen, I have an interview today, but can we have dinner? I still have a lot of things to say, a lot of things to ask, and it’s been so long.” you blur out. 

“Sure, I have a shift at the coffee shop, so I’ll see you at seven?”

“Yeah, that’s okay, Where do you work?” you ask, suddenly shivering. It’s really him, this isn’t a dream.

“In a coffee shop that’s on Main,” he replies, “I know you never go there, I would’ve seen you.”

“I’ve been busy.”

Right. Diana mentioned a boyfriend. His heart suddenly stops, fearing that he is seeing you again just to lose you again.

“I know,” he says, resting his hands on his hips, looking around the room to avoid your eyes again. “Good luck on your interview.”

“Thank you, good luck on your shift." You can feel the awkwardness coming back, the uncomfortable silence threatening to come back. “I’ll see you at seven!”

“I’ll pick you up here,” he says, You can only nod before he turns his back on you. 

"Stevie,” you say. He is about to open his front door when he hears your voice again.

“Yes?” he says, turning his head slightly to see you. He missed that nickname, you are the only one who calls him like that. 

You want to keep talking and confessing your true feelings right now, but you have things to do. He is more important than everything else, you got him back, you don’t want to waste time. 

“Say hi to Robin for me.” 

He nods, then walks into his apartment. You close the door of yours once again.

Fear and excitement occupy most of your brain right now. You are praying for him to still want you, to love you back as much as you've loved him this whole time. Being his best friend would be a great start, but being back to be his love sounds even better.

IV. You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Steve paces around his apartment, Robin and Chrissy are back, and they watch him mumble something under his breath. 

“Everything will be fine, you will talk to her and get back together,” Robin says.

“What if she has a boyfriend? What if she is in love with someone else?” 

“You can always steal her away, Robin did that to me." Chrissy joins the conversation. 

They have been talking about you for hours. Steve decided to exchange his shift and stay home while Robin was taking her day off. He was too distracted to go to work today. 

“Dingus. Stop it! You are making me dizzy." Robin gets up, reaching for Steve’s hands and making him look at her. “You’ll see her when she is back, you are going to take her to that restaurant and talk like the adult you are. Okay?”

"Hot,” Chrissy blurs out.

“Thank you, sweetheart." Robin looks at her and winks. 

“Gross, get a room, you two!”  Steve’s disgusted face makes both girls laugh. 

“You can do it, dingus. You’ll get her back.” 

“I’m not sure if she feels the same or if I feel the same.”

“Didn’t you say she hugged you so tight you almost ran out of breath? That’s a good sign.” Robin’s hands travel to Steve’s shoulders, shaking him up and trying to wake him up from whatever nightmare he is making up in his head. 

“And don’t start. You’ve been rejecting girls, having failed dates, and looking like a lost puppy whenever you see a girl that looks slightly like her. You two are still in love, from what you tell me and from what I feel.”

“You are right, I'm still in love with her. But it’s been a long time. I changed, she changed too.”

“Changes are good, I know it because it was hard for me to accept the real me, but I took that step because I wanted to be free,” Robin confesses, stopping Steve from giving up. “Talk. Try. You met again for a reason, don’t let that go to waste.” 

Steve nods. “What would I do without you?” He hugs Robin for a minute before hearing some voices in the hallway. He hears the front door open and close, which means you and Diana made it home. 

“You’ll be lost without me! Good luck, dingus.”

“Go get your girl, Steve!” 

Steve walks to your door and knocks, to his surprise, Diana opens the door. 

"Hi,” he says nervously. “Is she here?” 

“Yeah, she will be ready in five.”

"Alright,” Steve says, his hands clammy again, and he finds himself shaking. 

“So, you are the guy she has been talking about nonstop.” 

“I guess yes,” he replies, feeling his heart racing again. You’ve talked about him. 

“Good for you,” Diana says, before you step in. 

"Hi,” you say, looking at Steve again. You find this odd, but you are thanking whatever it was that brought him to you again. 

"Hi,” he replies, his gaze heavy on you as he takes everything in. Your soft voice, the sweet smell of your perfume. 

“Home by ten!” Diana jokes, making you laugh and shake off the anxiety that took over your body. 

You walk away from the apartments, with Steve by your side. He glances at him from time to time, and you do the same. 

“How was your shift?” you ask him, trying to get rid of the awkward feeling that washes over you again.

“I didn’t go. Too distracted for it,” he says, looking over at you as you walk to the parking lot. “How was your interview?”

"Good,” you sigh, not wanting to ramble about it at this moment. “I hope I get the job.”

“You will, you can do anything,” he says when you reach his car, noticing it looks the same way as before. 

Nothing has changed, just time. Everything feels the same, like it froze, letting time pass over it without a single consequence. 

Steve looks at you, his brows knit in a frown, and he is almost chewing his lip.

“If you want to ask something, just do it,” you say, making him shiver. “I know you, maybe not so well anymore, but I do.”

“What if your boyfriend sees us?” he asks.

A chuckle falls from your lips, shaking your head and pushing the hair out of your face.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,  he broke up with me yesterday, and I saw it coming. I’m over it.”

“Oh, do you want to talk about it? We can stay at home, i can leave you alone, and we can reschedule our dinner because i don’t want you to feel like you.”

“I’m still in love with you,” you interrupt, confessing. With a soft look in your eyes, Steve gets lost in them. “I’m sorry, I can't waste any more time. I need to get this out of me. I’ve been looking for you in everyone, everywhere. You are here, and you look the same, I know time has passed, but I believe my love for you has kept you exactly as I remember you.”

Steve doesn’t know what to do, the truth is, he has been waiting to hear those words for a long time. He has been waiting to see you, to hug you, and to kiss you.

“I’m still in love with you too,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, pushing his golden locks back. The sun is setting completely, and you can still see how it shines. “I never got over you, I was forced to move on because i felt like I didn’t deserve you. And I never wanted us to fall apart, I needed you all this time.”

He gets closer to you, his chest almost bumping into yours. He hesitates to kiss you in the moment, even to touch your hand. The setting reminds him of the last time he saw you, your last night at Hawkins.

“If you want, we can try to make up for the lost time and give it another try.”

“I’d love that.”

He gets closer now, with your confession turning into an invitation. Steve places both of his hands on your cheeks, rubbing the soft skin with his thumbs. It takes you back to that night, it feels like you are relieving that moment just to make it right this time.

“Baby-” he is so close to your lips, his words tingle your lips, and you never stop looking into his eyes. Those sweet brown eyes you missed so much.

“I’ve missed that, honey." He laughs at the nickname, but it still makes him shiver and smile like a little kid.

“And I’ve missed you, kiss, please?”

Steve nods, pressing his lips against yours. It’s a soft, slow kiss. You can feel the breeze of the cold night on your face as you flush when Steve leans his head to the side to trap your bottom lip between his lips to taste you. You close your eyes, savoring the moment. One thing you forgot and cried for every night was this.

His warm lips against yours, his taste. His hands squeeze your cheeks as you press your body against his.

It’s the first kiss since that night, two years have passed, and this still feels so familiar. So safe. The kiss is even sweeter thinking of all the time you’ve dreamed about this, of all the unspoken feelings you communicate to each other with everything your lips brush.

When air is needed, you lean your head back a bit. You giggle at the same time, and he places a kiss on your forehead. Happiness takes over you, it feels like floating.

“I still have that beanie baby, you know?”

“I do, Teddy.”

“Don’t call me that!” You hit his arm slightly, and he chuckles while rubbing his arm dramatically.

“It’s cute, it suits you,” he says, leaving a peck on your lips, resting his hands on your hips this time.

“It’s ridiculous!” You scrunch up your nose, and he leans in to smooth it off with a kiss. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

“Only if my dessert is going to be this sweet girl, the universe got back to me,” he says, picking you up, his arms hugging your waist. You can feel your feet dangling in the air. You tangle your arms around his neck so you don’t fall when he spins you around.

“Yes, yes, I'll be your dessert!” You giggle as you feel his lips on your cheeks, and when he stops, you peck his soft cheeks back. “In which house?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it depends on how loud you are.”

“Stevie!” Your cheeks glow red, and he laughs at your sudden flushed face.

“I’m joking! we‘ll figure it out later." He doesn't stop hugging you, even when he puts you down, your feet are now touching the concrete of the parking lot.

“Which one?” you ask, teasingly. Trying to hold back the giggle that is about to escape your lips.

“Both!” Steve says.

You get back in his car, and he proposes the idea of repeating everything you did that last night but with a different ending. You find a nice diner, not as nice as the one outside Hawkins,but it does the job. The old jukebox is there to dance after you eat burgers and fries and you end up stealing his cherry again.

When he picks up the sun, you get up from the booth where you are sitting and run up to him. One of your arms rests around his neck, and the other hand is holding your hand. He interlocks his fingers with yours while his free hand sits on your waist. He pushes you to his chest, the closest he can get you to him, and you start to sway around the checkered floor of the diner. Dancing like nobody's watching, again.

“You are the best thing that’s ever been mine, baby." He sings along with the song before kissing you again.

“I’ve always been yours, honey”

This night is even more magical than the last one, and you’ll have tons of them.

tags: all @munsonology @emistrash @livsters @paybacksawitch @ali-r3n @keeksandgigz @babybatlover @fanfictionlover277353 / steve @stveharringtn @double-vision-in-a-rose-blush

please please reblog to support your creators! comments are appreciated !! my ask is always open if you have any feedback. thank you so much for reading ♡

[prettyboykatsuki]

ochako....ochako at the start of her adulthood desperate to get laid... she goes on apps and stuff posting just from the neck down and making her profile about needing discretion. she's so horny and so desperate and she gets a lot of attention because she's hot which feels good.

but there's no one she really wants to hook up with until she looks at your profile. its short and to the point and the pictures you've posted don't show much but when she gets to messaging you she finds you charming and charismatic.

so you go back and forth and text like that. for too long. much longer than anyone who is just trying to lose their virginity should. it escalates from texts to sexting faster than it should and she finds herself doing increasingly risky things with you... touching herself to your texts and voice notes until it all bubbles over

you have phone sex. its the first time you talk on the phone and she gets so wet so fast she can barely stand it... you talk her through her orgasms. where to touch and how, how you would touch her - and by the end she's practically sobbing from how horny she still is even after cumming.

it's the first time you ever mention meeting up. you've been avoiding it probably able to tell how nervous she is. and she's so nervous and definitely a bad idea because she knows so little about you but she decides to say fuck it and meet up.

you meet up at the station first and you're different from how she pictured in a good way. you smile and laugh a little more in person and you do your best not to make her anxious. it feels like a date (read: it is a date, even if she can't tell) but it's clear by the end of the night you're going to fuck one way or another.

so you end up a nice love hotel. the fancy kind with lots of privacy per her request. you're all nice and casual even as you get in the room but her heart is pounding.

she takes a shower and waits for you, and when it's finally time to have sex she confesses to you she's a virgin and has no idea what she's doing.

and you just pause and. break out into laughter. she gets all huffy with you of course but you shake your head and hold her hand.

"yeah i kinda figured that out beautiful," you hum it to her so soft and sincere. "but if you don't mind, neither do i. don't feel bad if you get cold feet though,"

but how could she? when you've spent all day around her being nice and gentle and she knows you want to fuck her at least as much as she wants to fuck you. she's so nervous she could die but she's wet before you even lay a hand on her. of course she wouldn't back out now.

"i don't mind," soft and determined like always. "want you to fuck me."

you smile at her - cheeky and mischievous. "your wish is my command."

[primehyuck]

MOVES

aka good things take time (the happy ending version)

word count: 11.3k

i first started writing this because i’ve been listening to the song Moves by Suki Waterhouse on repeat, but it became much more than that

contents: long time best friend!haechan, slice of life, pining and yearning, chronological time jumps (mostly college and young adulthood), other members mentioned (Mark and Jeno!roommates), kissing, fluff, wet dreams, a good example of two people who seriously need to communicate, face sitting, morning sex, lots of pet names

“Do you think we’ll be friends for a long time?” Haechan’s soft voice distracts your attempt to focus on a blade of the blurry ceiling fan, unable to keep you cool despite it spinning so fast you think it might fly away.

“How do you mean?” the bed squeaks when Haechan sits up to lean over you.

“Growing up, I feel like my parents didn’t have many friends aside from each other. My mom told me that it’s because when you get older your priorities change and you realize who adds value to your life, and that’s who you decide to keep.” His eyes are glowing with sincerity, body blocking the flow of air from touching you at all “so when we’re older, and married with kids and other priorities, and we maybe live in different cities, do you think we’ll still be friends?”

You stare at him for a moment before shoving his face out of the way of the fans air stream.

“Definitely,” your confidence soothes him enough that he lays back down “if I ever muster up the creativity to come up with a reason to stop being your friend, you have to swear you’ll tell me how stupid I’m being, swear to me.” you smack his chest before he can even answer.

“I swear!” He smiles to himself, staring up at the ceiling with you, rubbing his hand over the warm spot where your hand made contact, melting into the mattress.

———

Growing up people always joked that Haechan and you would fall in love, that it was inevitable, practical even. Because, if you fall in love with your best friend you’ve already conquered one of the highest mountains - finding someone that you like, and who likes you back.

You had both seen the other in a relationship, an inevitability when you’ve been friends with someone since puberty. He’d cheered you on when you had your first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school, forced you to come out on double dates with him and a friend of his you didn’t even like just so he could take someone else out, and freshman year of college he’d even introduced you to the person you'd lost your virginity to.

The only time he cockblocked you was when you tried to get to know any of his friends more than platonically, so eventually you gave up and settled for real friendship with all of them.

“Trust me, you don’t want to touch him with a six foot pole.” He’d said freshman year when you had mentioned your attraction to his roommate, Mark.

“He seems so nice, though.” you pouted

“He is nice, but that doesn’t mean you want to be with him.”

“How would you know what I want?” you scoffed, and he looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Has the wind beneath my wings ever led you into the wrong arms?” He was highly animated, offended that you would question his judgment.

By the start of sophomore year it was obvious to everyone else that you were strictly off limits. All of his friends had decided unanimously that even if you did attempt anything with them they had no choice but to shut you down. The cold stare Haechan unknowingly serves them from across the room whenever they got too close was enough to keep them away. None of the boys ever minded the boundaries with you, there always was an ease in your friendship since they all knew it could never go further, but that didn’t mean they never thought about the possibility.

One night, at the end of junior year, Haechan is nowhere to be found at his own party and you graciously accept Jeno’s invitation upstairs when you complain of a headache, “we can play Mario Kart, and it won’t be all competitive like when Haechan plays with us.”

It starts like normal, and you're having fun when you realize that your tipsy brain can’t focus on the screen and the conversation simultaneously, opting for the latter as you relax into Jeno’s pillows. You don’t even notice him inching closer to you until his nose touches yours, tugging at a strand of your hair. This is the first time any of Haechan’s friends have shown interest in you, you’d never even been on the receiving end of a flirtatious stare from across the beer pong table, so you take the reins.

Kissing Jeno feels a little bit like winning, like you’ve finally made it past the invisible forcefield Haechan had put up around his friends. The kiss is lazy and hot, Jeno props himself up on one elbow and presses your back into the mattress with his chest. Your eager fingers run beneath his shirt, his abs tightening when you trail them over his sides. Your spine tingles when he groans into your mouth, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your knee and hike your leg over his hip. His hand holds strong around your thigh, and you sigh when he grinds into you.

Jeno pulls away too soon, stopping your hands reaching for the hem of his shirt with a pained sigh as he drops your leg to roll onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes.

“Fuck, I should not be doing this with you.”

“Why, you don’t want to?” You want to curl into yourself, sitting up to stare down at his shaking head.

“No, definitely not that.” he pulls his arm away to meet your eyes, the alcohol in his veins making him brave enough to admit “Haechan would be pissed.”

“Haechan?” you question “did he say something to you?” Jeno groans, sitting up and hooking his elbows around his knees, staring at the mattress between his legs.

“No, no. He’s never actually said anything,” he knows he’s revealing too much, but he also knows he’s gone too far to stop “we just know he would never want us to cross that line with you.”

“We?” you can feel embarrassment bubbling in your chest at the idea of all of your friends talking about this.

“Yeah, you know, all the guys. We figured you were just off limits, I don’t know.” he grimaces, looking up at you with apologetic eyes when you don’t respond. You huff and climb off the bed, feeling rejected in more ways than one.

You’d crossed a boundary tonight, but Jeno was still a close friend, someone you’d spent a lot of time with since he met Haechan freshman year. He still knows you, so he grabs your wrist before you can leave, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed so he can stand you between his legs.

“I’m sorry, don’t be mad.” He envelops your hands in his and brings them to his chest.

“I’m not mad,” you mumble, avoiding his apologetic gaze “I’m embarrassed that all of my friends agreed not to touch me.”

“Did you really think not a single one of us was ever interested in you?” you shrug and he squeezes your hands tighter, heart tugging in his chest.

“When people don’t act interested, that’s usually a safe assumption.” you pout and Jeno’s laugh buzzes through your linked fingers "I gave up on all of you halfway through freshman year."

“Well, some of us are better actors than I remember.”

He has you laughing by the time you leave his room, sealing the night with one more self indulgent kiss and a pinky swear to never tell Haechan about what happened.

———

Halfway through the first semester of senior year Haechan bangs angrily on his roommates door before swinging it open and Jeno is genuinely shocked that it's taken this long for the gossip to hit his ears. The rest of the boys had clocked Jeno the next morning for being ‘too happy’ and he had to make them all swear not to tell, wanting to protect your pride and his own friendship with Haechan.

"You slut!" Haechan points an accusatory finger in Jeno's direction, dragging his feet slowly toward him until he's so close Jeno has to bat his hand out of his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Haechan's voice is low and angry, something new and unpleasant sparking in his gut at the idea of Jeno kissing you, touching you.

"No, I don't." Jeno can’t help but antagonize. Pleased with the perfect opportunity to trick Haechan into saying out loud what everyone else seems to have known for years.

"You kissed my best friend!" He shrieks, tossing his hands up in the air dramatically.

"So what, she's not allowed to kiss people?" Haechan squints his eyes at Jeno’s response, scrunching his nose in annoyance “how did you even find out?”

"She can kiss whoever she wants, it's all of you that aren't allowed to kiss her." Haechan waves his hand wildly toward the bedroom door, alluding to the large group of boys living in the house “you know Mark can’t keep a secret, he’s been bursting at the seams for months. All I had to do was ask.”

"It happened forever ago dude, why are you so pissed? You've never even given us a chance to get close to her in that way, maybe one of us could really like her." Jeno reasons, tugging at Haechan's strings, watching the gears in his brain turn as he tries to come up with a real argument.

"She has a boyfriend," Haechan finally says with a frown at the thought of the guy he’d only recently met, he doesn’t like him at all. From his stupid hair to the shoes he wears, there’s not a thing about your new boyfriend that Haechan thinks is good enough for you. He collapses into the gaming chair across from where Jeno is relaxed on the couch, not having moved at all since Haechan stormed in "plus, I think any of you would know by now, you've all known her for four years."

"I think, that it can take a lot longer than four years to realize how much you like someone." Jeno bites, "how long have you known her?"

"Since middle school." He picks at the hole in the knee of his black jeans, realizing what Jeno is alluding to, defensive exterior quickly crumbling.

"Right, I think that if you're blind enough then it can take ten years to realize how much you like someone."

"Well, maybe ten years is too long and that person missed their chance." Haechan turns his head to stare out the window, anxiously spinning the chair side to side.

"You know I'm talking about you, right?"

"God, yes, I know you're talking about me." Haechan glares at his friend, fidgeting stopping abruptly "and I know I've been a complete idiot about it, but like I said, I’m out of time."

———

Haechan can’t stop his free hand from clenching and unclenching as you sob into your pillow, his less angry hand rubbing over your back.

“He told me he saw us moving in together after graduation,” your voice shakes “how do you look someone in the eyes and say shit like that and then sleep with someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Haechan replies earnestly, feeling as helpful as flip flops in the snow from where he sits on the edge of your mattress “I’m so sorry.”

He takes your silence as an invitation, lying on his stomach, face turned toward you, fingers still drawing soothing circles over your shoulder blades. He waits patiently for you to calm down, unease swarming his stomach knowing that even after years of friendship he can’t truly comfort you in this moment.

“I’m so embarrassed.” you sniffle, smearing your face over your pillow before turning to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to explain.

“I’m so gullible, he even told me he’s cheated in the past and for whatever reason I believed that he’d treat me differently, that he’d love me enough.” Haechan has to count to five in his head to stay calm before he speaks.

“You have no reason to be embarrassed. The most natural thing you can do is believe someone when they say they love you.” He murmurs, turning onto his side so he can pull you into a hug. When you curl into his body to bury your face in his chest he can only pray you can’t hear his heart pound against his ribs.

“He’s an idiot, and he didn’t deserve any of the love you gave him. I promise, you’re so much better off.”

Haechan hates the piece of himself that’s relieved your relationship has ended. The same piece that hated your ex the minute he met him, that feels heavy in your absence whenever you’re busy with anyone who isn’t him. The piece that crosses it’s fingers whenever you get this close in hopes that you’ll be the first one to cross the line, to finally do what he’s thought about doing for the last few months since he realized exactly how he felt about you.

“Thank you,” you mumble into his tear dampened shirt, lifting your leg over his to cuddle in even closer “thanks for always being my friend, even when I do dumb shit, like let boys be mean to me.”

He nuzzles his nose into your scalp, eyes fluttering shut at the smell of your shampoo “Thanks for letting me. Besides, even Beyoncé got cheated on, so you clearly aren’t that dumb.” the crowd in his brain cheers when you giggle into his chest.

“You’re so annoying.” He holds you even tighter.

———

“I can’t believe it,” your jaw drops and Haechan whips his head up nervously to look at you from across the couch

“What happened?”

“I got it, I got the job!” you shove his feet off your lap to jump up excitedly, bouncing on your toes as you read the email out loud. Haechan’s ears are ringing so loud he barely catches the first half, trying to shake off the dazed look he’s sure appears on his face.

“We were extremely impressed with your resume and even more so with the impression you left on the board during your interview, blah blah blah, excited to offer you this position, blah blah blah, and a relocation bonus to join us in in our new office!” the pitch of your voice rises a few octaves as you finish reading.

Haechan stares at you from his spot on the couch, eyes wide with shock that you’re too excited to notice, skimming your screen as you re-read the details in your offer letter.

His entire body is buzzing, torn between feeling excited at your accomplishment and sorry for himself.

He had a plan, a really good one, he thought. After your breakup you’d made it painfully clear that you wanted to be single for a while, and he knew if he could just be patient, it would all be worth it. So Haechan decided to bottle his feelings up, sitting patiently by your side where he had been for so many years, waiting for you to heal and hoping that when you were finally ready to start dating again he’d have mustered up the courage to make the first move.

“Lee Donghyuck, are you even listening to me!?” you drop your phone to pull him up off the couch, bouncing up and down with your fingers intertwined “I’m moving to my dream city, to start my dream job.” you reiterate and he snaps out of it, sweeping the imaginary shards of glass that his plan had been made out of under the rug and pulling you into a hug.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.” You deadpan, but squeeze him back just as tight.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you is all.” He admits, "I'd follow you if my job didn't keep me here."

“I’ll make sure you don’t miss me too much, don’t worry.” you plant your cheek on his chest, surprised at the relief you feel in hearing him say it first.

———

This feeling was still a little unfamiliar, nerves. Haechan had never made you nervous growing up; excited, annoyed, passionate maybe, but never nervous.

The nerves began last summer, when he’d come out to visit you for the first time to celebrate his birthday. It was the longest you’d gone without seeing each other since you’d met, almost ten full months and the anticipation was palpable.

When he steps through the airport doors you think that it’s the relief of finally being near him again that knocks the wind out of you. Running into his open arms and being squeezed so tightly in them that you tap his shoulder to let you breathe. Ruffling his hair when he steps back and ignoring the fact that he had grown so much since you’d seen him last.

But as the night goes on, the slight changes to the person you have memorized become glaringly obvious. The way his cheeks have lost some of their cushion, revealing a sharp jaw and pointed cheekbones. The natural wave in his once unruly hair now falling perfectly over his brow bone, he had dyed it a little darker which made his tan skin glow even in dim lighting. Even his smell seemed to draw you into a trance, a much more expensive version of the Haechan you know.

“You know, that group of girls has been staring over at you since we walked in.” You raise your eyebrows playfully, pointing your glass toward the pretty gaggle that keeps walking past the booth you and Haechan occupy.

He doesn’t break eye contact with you before shrugging, “I didn’t come here to see them, I came to see you.” he smiles, punctuating his thought by reaching over the table and tapping your nose.

“I know, I know,” you laugh, batting him away “It never hurts to know when people are staring, though”

His face is unreadable as he rests his arm lazily up over the bench of the booth, body sinking into the seat while he lifts his glass to swirl his drink, biting the words that have been resting on the tip of his tongue the entire trip, and at the end of every phone call since you started your new job.

“How are you, seriously.” You push. In the time since you moved he’d started and ended a relationship with a girl that you’d never met. Your new job kept you so busy that you hadn’t even learned about the breakup until a week later, when you finally had the time to call him back. The guilt of your absence weighs you down, resenting your inability to be there for him the way he had been for you in the past.

“I’m over it, seriously.” You know he’s telling the truth, but it’s in your nature to pry.

“You never really talked about, why, you know.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, I’m sorry, I just feel so behind on your life.” You sigh and push your empty glass to the side, swirling your finger in the ring of cold water it leaves behind.

“It’s okay, really. You’ve been busy, I understand.” He reaches across the table to stop your anxious fingers “I didn’t love her the way I knew I should, that’s all. It’s a good thing that it ended, and I’m happy that it did.”

“That’s all that matters, then.” and he’s grateful that you drop the subject.

You eventually get back to your apartment, both giggly and flush from the alcohol still fogging your brain despite the long walk you'd hoped would lessen it. Haechan holds your hand the whole way back, even when he stops suddenly to pet a dog, dragging you down to the ground with him. He can’t help himself, grateful that at this point you'd touched one another in every way other than what he dreams about most, and you seem oblivious to his need to be so close to you.

As you get ready for bed he lets himself watch you undress facing the wall away from him, unaware of his gaze burning into your backside and the way his fingers tingle at the thought of pulling at the meat of your hips. He scolds his heart for thudding so loud when you squeeze your eyes into a smile at his reflection standing next to yours at the sink while you brush your teeth, the domestication of your friendship that he used to appreciate now suffocating him.

You put on a movie and invite him to rest his head on the pillow in your lap, wishing he could bury his nose into the skin of your thighs beneath it. Halfway through the movie he has to sit up to hide the way his cock is hardening at the feeling of your nails combing through his hair and down his shoulder, occasionally thrumming over his chest. He pulls a blanket off the back of the couch and tosses it over his legs as casually as possible, pulling you into his side by your shoulder, the other arm stretched across the back of the couch.

"Are you cold for the first time in your life?" Haechan never wants to use a blanket, but you’re grateful for the position giving you access to bury your face into his chest, gripping his shirt.

"No, just want to be warmer." he presses a blushing cheek onto the top of your head, trying to think of anything except the way your hair smells, or the feeling of the side of your breast brushing his wrist through your shirt. Haechan feels eighteen again and like he's discovering the connection between romantic and sexual feelings for the first time in his life. He tries to match his breathing to yours, holding his breath whenever you shift in his hold and reconnecting his stomach with your back as quickly as possible. The temptation to pour his heart out is overwhelming, but when he feels your body completely relax into his and your breathing slow down, the words become trapped in his throat, so he lets you sleep.

Haechan had never experienced a shorter 48 hours than that weekend he spent following you around the city you now call home.

You’re shining in your new space, and he happily trails behind you to all the places you’ve discovered in the almost year since you moved. His stomach does somersaults whenever you point something out that reminds you of him.

“I’ve been waiting to come here until you could come with me!” you're so excited to take him to the video game themed coffee shop that your co-workers had recommended “I thought about coming to see if it was even worth it, but I only want to play these kinds of games with you anyway.”

Sometimes he can forget about his feelings for you, when things are just as they always have been. You talk with and touch him the same, laugh at his jokes the same. He thinks that if he were to ever say out loud what he’s been feeling, that the two of you would still be the same but with a little More, ‘you guys’ but on steroids. So when everything is normal he can pretend like it‘a not. He can act like the More is there when you hold his hand to drag him around to the different machines, play games he wants to play even if you don’t want to, you even wipe ice cream off of his chin when his cone starts to melt because he’s talking too much to eat and he wonders why it took him so long to see it this way, and if you could too.

He keeps thinking the moment will come, when he’ll know spilling his guts to you is the right thing to do. But between you gushing over how much you love your new life and your willingness to point out every girl who has blinked at him this weekend, he completely loses the steam he’d gained during his flight, regardless of how his imagination runs wild with the More.

He curses himself the entire weekend for his lack of bravery, hoping that keeping his feelings in is the right decision. After his recent relationship crashed and burned because of his feelings for you he thought he had no choice but to come clean. But watching you, being with you in your new life makes him realize that his role in it hasn’t changed even if his feelings for you have.

The lump in his throat as he stands outside the departure doors is more than just sadness at the thought of leaving you, it’s the realization that he has to let the romantic idea of you go.

“How come you never cry when we have to leave each other,” you hiccup into his chest, and he coos your name lovingly.

“Don’t worry, you know I save my tears for the plane to make everyone in my row uncomfortable.” He knows that you hate that he’s making you laugh at a time like this, pulling away so you can swat his chest and he raises his hands in surrender.

“When will we be able to see each other again?”

“As soon as possible.” He nods reassuringly, wiping your tears with his thumb, heart pounding as he stares into your watering eyes “hey, you’re my best friend in the world, you annoy me every day, and I love you.”

“Whatever, I love you too.” you laugh, but his heart speeds up at the words that you’ve said to him thousands of times. You sweep your arms around him one last time before pushing him toward the airport doors “you better go, if you miss your flight I can’t guarantee I’ll let you leave at all.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He walks backwards slowly, staring at you with a ‘kicked puppy’ kind of face he mastered years ago and you wave enthusiastically, blowing loud kisses into the air that he catches and clutches to his heart.

“This is it,” he thinks, “this has to be it.”

———

Haechan is dreaming about you. He has been nightly ever since he got back from his birthday weekend. He’s grateful the dreams have variety, since some of them overwhelm him to the point of waking up and not being able to fall back asleep.

Sometimes, you’re young again and whenever anyone says “You know, it’s just a matter of time until one of you has a crush on the other.” you both theatrically gag, laughing at each other as if it were the most insane idea in the world. Or, you're sitting on his childhood couch watching your guys' favorite movie for the hundredth weekend in a row, vocalizing the parts of the two main characters and recreating all the best scenes.

Sometimes you’re at his apartment just hanging out together, which are dreams that feel so real he almost expects to see you in his kitchen when he wakes up. Most of these dreams spark a deja vu laced flame in his gut so deep he finds himself confusing them with memories. The ache of missing you wakes him up before his alarm some mornings, and he finds himself face timing you once he knows you're awake just to watch you make coffee and wash your face.

But sometimes, he has dreams that make him feel so ashamed he can barely text you back in the morning. Dreams where he reaches to touch you and you let him, where you tug at his hair and moan his name while he does all the things that he can only do to you in his sleep. He hates to say that these are his favorite, but it's the one dream he knows he'll never actually achieve and he goes to bed every night praying for them.

That’s the kind of dream he’s having when his phone buzzes him awake. He answers without looking because there are only a handful of people who can reach him when he’s on ‘do not disturb’, and you’re one of them. He hums a sleepy greeting into his phone, putting it on speaker next to his pillow and nearly drifting right back into the dream and between your thighs.

“Donghyuck” his eyes shoot open at the sound of your voice “did i wake you up?”

He can practically hear the pout in your voice, squinting at the time on his phone, “Yes, it’s three in the morning,” he stares down to where he’s half hard, running an embarrassed hand over his face even though there’s no possible way for you to know “are you okay?”

“No, well technically yes but I miss you which means things could be better.” you slur your words and Haechan smiles, somehow he's never annoyed that you call him pretty much every time you drink. He thinks it's because he's familiar with this version of you, though he definitely hasn't seen it often since college graduation. This version of you loves him hard, and is never afraid to say it.

"I miss you too," he takes a beat before adding "I was dreaming about you just now."

You gasp excitedly "Really! What were we doing." He smirks at the thought of telling you that you had been sitting on his face, hand reaching back for his cock while he guides your cunt over his tongue until you were shaking above him.

"Just, hanging out." he shrugs. It's his second time this week alone dreaming of your clit bumping his nose, and the thought makes his mouth water.

"I don't believe you." You say accusingly "that's way too boring for a mind like yours to dream up."

"What exactly is my mind like?" He yawns, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

"Oh, you know," you hum "your mind is a galaxy, with at least a billion planets and twice as many stars. I wish I could fly into your head and explore it, but NASA doesn't have the funds."

Haechan holds his breath at your compliment, the smile on his face so wide he can hear it in his own voice "That sounds like an episode of Magic School Bus."

"Your brain is definitely cooler than some cartoon, it's pretty much my favorite place on Earth."

"How would you know, you've never actually been inside?" He shakes his head, teasing you gently. Hearing words like these come out of your mouth breaks his heart and glues it back together at the same time.

"Are you saying you never think about me?" you ask him, not an ounce of sarcasm in your voice.

"I think about you all the time, I promise, all the planets in my brain are shaped like you." You hum, pleased with his response. He shuts his eyes and waits for your answer.

"Yeah, all the planets in mine are shaped like you, too." you pause for a second and add "plus all the stars, I win, I think about you more."

———

This time when Haechan comes to visit you, you know the nerves are more than just excitement at seeing your best friend. It’s a feeling that is nestled so deep in your stomach it makes you a little nauseous. You haven't seen him since you went home for the holidays and he only has one night in the city. You find yourself grueling over your reflection in the mirror, not used to being self conscious in front of him. You’re only going out for happy hour, but you put yourself together to last all night.

When Haechan finally arrives he whistles lowly, making you blush when he pulls out of your hug and requests a spin.

“I appreciate that you got so dressed up for me.” He teases, hoping you don’t catch his eyes sweeping over your legs, wanting to commit you in this dress to memory.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you roll your eyes as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours making sure you looked as perfect as possible. Hoping he doesn’t see the pile of clothes shoved into your closet from all the failed attempts.

“Never,” he grabs your purse off of the counter and opens the door, sweeping his arm out in front of him dramatically “after you. There are some strangers outside who are waiting to catch a glimpse of you, they just don’t know it yet.”

“You are so dramatic.” You lock the door behind you, using the moment facing away from him to collect yourself. Lately you catch yourself wondering if he'd always been so flirtatious, or if you're just forcing meaning behind his words because of how badly you want him to be.

“What, a guy can’t compliment his best friend?”

You smile widely at him and grab your bag out of his grasp, popping your key inside and walking toward the entrance of your building. Praying your fingers stop shaking when you finally get a drink in you. Haechan throws his arm around your shoulders while you walk down the street to your favorite cocktail bar and you're grateful for his usual chatter, talking to you about work and his slow climb up the ladder.

“They put me in a hotel this time, so you don’t have to worry about making me breakfast in the morning.” He smiles at you, sipping his drink gingerly.

“You know I never cook you breakfast.” He feels so far away across the table and you wish that you were sitting next to him instead, shoulders cold without the weight of his arm around them. It feels so good to have him touch you, to feel like you're his. There's a small part of you that feels guilty for using his knack for physical affection to your advantage, he has no idea what the heat of his skin on yours does.

“I know, but all the meetings are in the hotel anyway so it’s easier this time to just stay there.”

You try not to let yourself visibly deflate at the news, wanting to keep him for yourself the whole time he’s in town. His knee presses against yours under the table and you focus all your energy into acting the way you would have before, but you can’t focus on anything else and cross your legs to pull away from him as casually as possible. As badly as you want to touch him, sometimes you can’t.

“What time do you have to be up?”

He groans, leaning back enough that his knee now slides against your shin, “too early,” and glances down at his now empty glass, motioning to the bartender for another “which means you need to drink faster, so I can stop at a reasonable hour.”

You smile, downing the rest of your drink in one gulp, when his foot taps against yours you know it's going to be a long night.

The end of the night finds you together on your couch with a shared bottle of wine sitting empty on the coffee table, his early meetings temporarily forgotten. You and Haechan have been in this position plenty of times, drunk, slap happy and overly touchy in a way that you had always been comfortable being with one another. The difference now is you, this version of you who wants your best friend in an entirely different way.

Every time he pulls you closer you feel electricity shoot straight to your heart so intensely that you have to duck out of his grasp. You don’t know what to do with the feelings that have been growing gradually from your toes up, now practically sprouting out of your scalp with a neon sign blinking “I’m in love with you” over and over.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Haechan whines when you all but flinch away from his hand reaching for his phone near your arm. He’d been aware of it all night, the space you left between the two of you while you walked back from the bar, your sudden inability to maintain the eye contact that he craved. The complete lack of physical touch makes him feel dejected.

“Doing what?” You give him a panicked look, practically sober at the thought of being found out, of what it would feel like to be rejected by him.

“You’re not letting me touch you,” he frowns, and the alcohol buzzes through your veins again “not that you need to let me, but you only avoid it like this when you’re upset. Did I do something?” he pouts, tired eyes low when he flops his head onto his bicep resting on the back of the couch. You forget to breathe for a second when he looks up at you under dark lashes.

“I’m not upset. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you’re lying through your teeth, but scoot an inch closer to him to make your point. He doesn’t look convinced, and if you’d had less to drink you may have noticed the mischievous glint in his eye before he grabs you by your arm, knocking you off balance and into his chest.

“See,” he sighs happily, wrapping his arms around your body and you can feel his chest buzz when he hums, cheek pressed to the top of your head. You have no choice but to ungracefully shift your lower body closer to him, making yourself a sponge and soaking in his familiar touch “isn’t that better?”

You nod, “Yes, it is better.” and you really wish he didn’t know you so well, that even in his fifth hour of being drunk he can read your mind. He pulls your ear off his heart to grab your cheeks, smushing them together and whispering your name with a shake of his head.

“What is it?” he urges, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist to loosen his grip. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and count to three in your head before you can talk yourself out of leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

You feel him falter for a half second before he’s kissing you back, pulling your face closer and pushing his body toward yours. You can’t hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears when his tongue touches yours, and then suddenly his mouth is gone. He moves so quick you have to put your arms out to stop yourself from face planting into the cushion he had just been sitting on.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” you gasp “i shouldn’t have done that, Haechan, I’m so sorry.”

It takes everything in you to look up to where he’s now standing with his arms crossed over his chest protectively. You have no idea what he’s thinking, staring down at you with wide eyes. Insecurity sweeps through you under his intense gaze, and you almost beg him to say something.

“I’m seeing someone,” the way the confession rings in your ears would have you believing that he screamed the words, but his voice was barely above a whisper “shit, I’m sorry.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your life that flashes before your eyes, or your years of friendship with him, at this point the two tend to blur together.

“That’s-” you sit back on your calves and inhale shakily, knowing it’s not even worth it to attempt to fake any sort of excitement for him “why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, swallowing thickly and pulling his eyes away from your face to stare at the ceiling “It’s new and I didn’t know how. It just never came up.”

“Well then, I’m sorry that it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t know what came over me.” grateful that he’s finally the one avoiding eye contact with you so he doesn’t see your legs wobble when you stand “probably best to pretend that never happened. I’m just drunk and I missed you-”

Your name sounds so pathetic when he says it this time and you think it’s the eighth wonder of the natural world that you haven’t started crying yet. You shake your head instead, wishing so desperately that you had changed out of the dress you were wearing as you pull the slinky material down your thighs.

“Honestly, Haechan,” You regret your next words before they even hit the air “you should probably go. You have an early morning.”

The shock on his face pains you, but you can’t stand to see what you can only assume is pity growing in his eyes for another second.

“I don’t want to go, I want to talk about this.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again and his shoulders slump in defeat, recognizing that you’d made up your mind.

“It’s okay.” He means it, shuffling forward and the look on your face is nearly enough to bring him to his knees. His breath catches when you shift away the inch he moved toward you, eyes locked on his and he can see the desperation in them before he hears it in your voice.

“Text me when you get to the hotel?” your voice cracks with a heavy mix of exhaustion and embarrassment that makes him nods once, grabbing his things and walking slowly toward your door. He turns to look at you, but his words catch in his throat when he sees your eyes begin to water, mustering up all his energy to offer what he prays is a reassuring smile before letting himself out.

You sink back into the couch when the door clicks shut, head hanging in your hands as the tears finally start to flow. You cry so hard you feel like you could throw up, replaying his rejection over and over in your mind, shame and regret coursing through your veins. Pure embarrassment heats your body at the look on his face when he told you he was seeing someone, and you’re not sure if it was disgust or pity in his eyes.

On top of the rejection, knowing that he didn’t feel like he could share something as big as meeting someone with you was a dagger to the heart, up until recently you had never kept a secret from him, and even this one you clearly couldn’t keep in for long.

You force yourself into the shower, scrubbing angrily at your skin under the scalding water. You get out once your fingers have pruned and your skin feels raw, avoiding the mirror on your way to your bedroom. You kick angrily at the dress you'd left on the floor, watching it land near the pile of outfits you had discarded while getting ready.

Haechan had texted you nearly thirty minutes earlier

“made it back”

you give it a thumbs up before turning your phone off, setting an alarm with the clock on your side table and letting the emotional exhaustion lull you to sleep.

------

Haechan is realizing that there is no way in hell that you need space more than he needs to talk to you. He tries to call you multiple times the first week after you kissed him but you never answered, and Haechan doesn’t want to push you to the point of no return. What he really wants is to go back in time and not leave you that night, but the pain in your eyes was so pronounced he couldn't bare to make it any worse. The only physical proof that you had kissed him at all being the stupid blue thumbs up on the text he had sent you that night. It's followed by a slew of reassuring texts, saying that he broke up with his girlfriend and if you would please just talk to him, that he's not mad.

This is the feeling he carries with him nearly two weeks later on the flight to you, when he’s sure that another minute of silence from you will kill him. By the time he gets to your apartment it’s almost midnight, so he knocks loud enough to wake you up.

When you open the door in a shirt he thinks might be his, Haechan knows he has no choice. He's speaking before you can say anything, before he can change his mind.

"I came here to tell you that I think you're being really stupid." He curses internally for the obvious nerves in his voice, your tired eyes widen with shock at his words.

"Excuse me?"

"Years ago you made me swear that I would tell you if you ever came up with a reason not to be my friend anymore. So I'm telling you now, I think you're being really fucking stupid."

"I'm not doing that" You defend yourself, tearing up at the sight of him. He pushes into your apartment, shutting the door behind him and standing close enough to touch. He’s staring you down with pleading eyes, and you bury your face in your hands so you don’t have to look at him.

“Then why are you ignoring me? Why won’t you let me fix this?”

“I don’t know I just,” you inhale shakily “I don't know how to do it right now, not like this."

"Like what?" He hopes he already knows the answer, but needs to hear you say it, to know that you’re as serious as he is. Your mouth feels full of cotton when he forces you to look at him by whispering your name, pulling your hands from your face and his heart pinches tightly at the tears welling in your eyes "please tell me, please. Like what?"

"You already know," your bottom lip betrays you, voice weak beneath heavy emotion when you speak "I love you, Haechan. I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I fucked everything up, but I can’t undo it."

He feels his lungs fill with relief. Haechan steps forward to close the small gap between your bodies, grabbing your jaw to rest his forehead against yours. You falter, but his hand on the small of your back keeps you from going anywhere, he's practically panting and you can barely stand, dizzy with the feeling of him. You want to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming when he whispers "You didn't fuck anything up."

He ghosts his lips over yours for a moment until he's sure you're not going to stop him. When he finally kisses you it's with years of pent up adoration, directing your arms around his neck and pressing his thumb firmly into your jaw, long fingers wrapping around the side of your throat. He practically whines when your fingers tighten in his hair and your lips part for his warm tongue. His arm wraps around your waist so tightly you have to hinge backward to keep your mouths connected, gasping at the strength you didn't know he had.

He keeps your stomach flush to his own and kisses you until you're practically limp in his arms, pulling away to breathe. His eyes are shut as he rubs his nose over yours

"I love you, too. I've been meaning to tell you for a while." All the blood rushes into your ears at his words and you can't stop your biggest worry from spilling into the air.

“What if you change your mind?”

“I made up my mind a long time ago, there's nothing you could do to change it." He blinks his eyes open, pulling his face away from yours just enough to see you, the trepidation in your eyes makes him say your name quietly.

"It's only me, you know me," he assures you in a hushed tone "you have to know by now that you are my entire world."

You could laugh, only him, as if he hasn’t been one of the most important people in your life since the day you met. As if he isn’t someone who has seen you at every stage of it so far. It’s Haechan, who has always been funny, who has witnessed the worst sides of you and never made you feel bad, who has never left your side.

You kiss him again, fingers wrapping in tight fists around his shirt to keep yourself grounded. Haechan’s heart pounds happily in his chest and he hopes you can feel it this time, both hands nestling into your hair. He kisses you gently in an effort to slow down your urgent movements, moaning at the taste of your mouth. You fall into his rhythm easily, the way his tongue rolls gently over yours makes your body go up in flames. You move your hands to slide beneath his shirt, landing on the strong muscles in his back and teasing your fingers up his sides.

When you finally come up for air he stares at you for a minute before laughing, stomach tightening beneath your fingers when he does.

"What's funny?" you shut your eyes, leaning your forehead into his chest, letting the pretty sound ring in your ears.

"Nothing, I'm just-" he cuts himself off with a shrug, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head "I love you, and you love me back. That's all, that's how easy it is."

"It hasn't been easy at all, in fact my life has been very very hard since your birthday last year.” He pulls away from your head to ogle at you.

"My birthday last year?" You nod, feeling your cheeks flush under his intense gaze, it had really been that long "God, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking idiot."

He's kissing you again before you can ask him to elaborate, grabbing hold of both wrists in one hand while he walks you backward and guides you up onto the counter as slowly as he has to in order to keep his lips on yours. His hips are the perfect height for you to wrap your legs around, gasping in surprise when he slides his hands around your ass and presses your core tightly against the growing bulge in his jeans.

You feel shy when you pull away to ask if he wants to go to your bedroom, feeling frozen in place when he stares at you with half lidded eyes, his plump lips swollen and red.

"Tonight, I'm just kissing you." Every cell in his body is screaming in protest at his own words. He can't express how badly he wants to do everything else, to recreate his dreams, to learn the parts of your body he'd never seen before. But he can't imagine doing anything but this tonight, just this; his lips on yours, your breath in his lungs and your body melting into his.

"Why?” your eyebrows pull together in confusion. You practically shiver with need, tucking your arms between your stomachs and burying your nose in his throat. His laugh buzzes against your face, rubbing his hands gently over your shoulders and trying to control his own breathing as your lips brush over his skin.

All he can say is, “Because I’ve been needing to for a long time.”

“How long?” You pull away from his chest, leaning back onto your hands and closing your eyes when he runs his own down your sternum and over your waist, groping at the flesh of your hips and trying not to regret his romantic side.

“Way too long.”

“Your birthday?” you ask, tugging gently at his shirt. He plants his hands outside of your legs to lean in close, one corner of his mouth pulling up.

“Much longer.” Your eyes widen in shock, and he interrupts you before you can question him “can we talk about it later? I have something really important to do tonight.”

———

He tells you that he's had feelings for you since senior year of college, when you kissed Jeno. He tells you about his plan to admit everything when he had seen you on his birthday, but that he was too scared. He assures you he ended his relationship the moment he got back home the previous week “because everyone has felt like a matter of 'when' it will end, not 'if',” He tells you that just two weeks of your silence hurt worse than any previous heartbreak, and you agree. And before you fell asleep next to him he tells you again, ‘I'm so in love with you.’ and shimmies excitedly when you say it back before kissing you until you can barely keep your eyes open. He holds your cheeks in his hands and practically lulls you to sleep with his tongue, plush lips pressing to yours so gently you can hardly feel them dotting around the rest of your face. He thinks he could do this forever before sleep finally catches up with him, his arm slung over your side to hold your face to his chest.

You wake up curled into a familiar side, your first emotion being giddy as the night floods back to you. Despite your obvious willingness to go further, Haechan had meant it when he said he'd only be kissing you. It made you crazy at first, but when the two of you were staring at each other in the mirror with shy eyes while moving through a nighttime routine you had gotten familiar with years before, you were happy he had the self control you clearly lack. The idea of him actually seeing and touching you in ways he never had before, of doing all the things you'd found yourself imagining him doing over the last year; it was overwhelming. Kissing until your jaw was sore and your lips were swollen felt easy.

You’re startled by Haechan’s hand reaching for yours, holding your palm and bringing your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to each one, “good morning.” his voice is deep and tired, mouth landing on the crown of your head.

"Good morning." You press your nose into his chest happily, gripping his hand in yours and resisting the urge to squeal with delight.

"What are you so excited about, me?" He teases, hand falling on your thigh to guide your leg up the front of his, stopping just below his crotch and you hope he's going to give you what you'd been wanting all night, for the last year.

"You, I just can't believe how happy I am." You admit, lifting your head off of his chest to smile at him. He pulls you right back down, kissing your lips once before rolling you both over so he's on top of you. He presses a hand over your collarbone and drags his lips down your chin and over your throat.

"You know, this means you're all mine now." he smirks against your neck when you nod, gasping when he sucks gently at the base. He has one forearm on the mattress, the other hand too gentle on your ribs. You can feel that he's hard and you immediately roll your hips up.

"Does this mean you're gonna do more than just kiss me now?" you intend to sound confident, but it comes out as a whimper. His nose brushes over your jaw before he presses lingering kisses to your chin and cheek.

"Yes, baby, if you'll let me." You nod eagerly, shifting your face so your lips are beneath his and sighing happily when he lowers his weight onto your torso, licking into your mouth. You shiver with anticipation when he pushes at your shirt, long fingers tickling up your side before landing on your breast. You gasp into his mouth when his thumb brushes over your already hard nipple.

Your impatience is overwhelming, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it up to his shoulders. He pulls away reluctantly, reaching one hand toward his back and pulling his shirt over his head. You gnaw at your lip, running your hands over his stomach and hooking your knees around his hips as much as you can while stretching your arms over your head.

“Cute.” he murmurs, pulling your shirt up and tossing it to the side. He gropes at your chest, tongue wetting his lips before he leans down to wrap them around one of your nipples. He’s trying to act without thinking, to let the dreams he’s had pave the path down your body because he knows the second he acknowledges his nerves he won’t be able to shake them off. His heart thrums when you gasp above him, arching your chest into his mouth. He’s greedy for your sounds, his hands squeezing your breasts together and licking between them to get to the other nipple. When your hips buck up into his he groans, pulling away from your chest and staring down at you with wondering eyes.

“Can I?” He feels unnaturally shy, leaning back on his calves and watching his fingers press dimples into the flesh of your hips above your underwear, tugging at the hem.

“You don’t need to ask.” He smiles, forcing you to sit by grabbing the back of your neck for a kiss. His fingers press into your clothed core and your hips roll into his hand. He sighs into your mouth at your desperation, torn between teasing you and touching you everywhere.

You can’t keep your legs from shutting around his arm when he pushes your panties to the side and slides his middle and ring finger up your wet center, circling over your clit.

You pull away from the kiss, blinking up at him and your mouth falls open when he presses firmly on your clit, rubbing in slow circles. His head hangs as he lets out a quiet “fuck” at your reaction, moving his hand off your neck to stroke over your stomach and without it behind your head you have to lie back, he presses your legs open. Haechan stares at your chest while he settles between your knees, pushing two fingers inside your dripping core. His jaw hangs open, watching his knuckles disappear inside of you.

“So soft,” he breathes, staring down to where his fingers glisten when he pulls them out to rub over your clit again, palming over his cock getting harder in his sweats “want to be everywhere at once.”

“Want you everywhere.” you whine when his fingers pull away to hook into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Haechan stands to strip and you hold your breath and soak in the soft swell of his hip that leads to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs. It’s pretty like the rest of him, and thicker than you'd expected with a leaking tip that matches the color of his tongue, he strokes himself once and you don’t get the chance to reach for him before he lays back on the bed, rolling you to sit on top of him. You shudder when your pulsing clit rubs over his stomach, inner thigh squeezing into his ribs. He runs his hands up your waist, scooting you an inch higher and grabbing onto your tits.

“Do you remember a few months ago, when you called me drunk and I told you I was dreaming about hanging out with you?” He shivers when you grind down in response, wet pussy sliding easily over his skin “I lied.”

Your hands press into his chest, tilting your head “what were we doing?” you can barely speak above a whisper when he pinches gently at your nipple with one hand, the other rubbing over your ribs when he smirks up at you.

“You were about a foot higher than you are right now,” you gasp and reach out to grab the headboard when he jolts his hips to move you up his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes as he shifts to wrap his arms under your legs, fingers pressing into your thighs.

“You dreamt about this?” you let him bring your hips to hover over his face, hands falling into his hair when he brushes his nose over your clit as he nods.

“All the time,” he moans and drags you down onto his face, lips wrapping around your clit. You shudder above him, letting some of your weight collapse into your heels and he groans happily at the pressure of you on his chin, pressing you harder onto his mouth to fuck his tongue into you. He wants to devour you, every sound you make goes straight to his cock which is already rock hard at the taste and smell of you. Even just thinking about the fact that it's your hips grinding over his face right now is enough to make him moan into your pussy.

You slur out praise, one of your hands shooting up to grip the headboard. His hands wander gently up your sides, eyes opening to stare up to where he plays with your tits, hard cock pulsing at the sight of your head thrown back, hips moving in gentle circles over his face. Haechan’s hand tugs yours down to his hair, trying to restrain himself from thrusting into the empty air at the feeling of you all over him. He hums happily into your pussy when you start to grind over his mouth, flattening his tongue for you to ride until your legs are shaking.

He lets out a deep “mmhmm” when you warn him that you’re going to cum, suckling hard on your clit until you’re practically begging him to let you go, body crumpling forward with both hands tangled in his hair. He's grateful you didn't touch his cock, just the thought of your fingers wrapped around him is enough to make him cum and he has other plans.

You can’t speak when you collapse onto the mattress beside him, immediately warmed by the weight of his body on top of yours as he slots himself between your thighs, sucking a hickey onto the front of your throat.

“Taste too fucking good,” he hums, mouthing over your chin and cheek “been dreaming of eating your sweet pussy for so long.” you practically swoon when he kisses you, pre-cum wetting the inside of your thigh when he relaxes his stomach onto yours.

“Hyuck, want you in me, please” Your vision is blurry, whining into his swollen lips. He works them over your cheek before pulling away from you, bringing one of your legs up to his shoulder and you rest the other knee on his hip. He can feel himself pant when he taps the head of his cock on your swollen clit, practically drooling when he sticks barely the tip inside before pulling back and repeating the tantalizing motion.

“Been waiting for too long to be teased,” you pout, trying to encourage his hips toward yours with the ankle he’s not pressing his cheek into. He smirks and circles his leaking tip over you again, watching his cock spread your arousal around before he pushes into you a little further.

“I’m taking my time with you, feels so fucking good.” He can’t look away from between your thighs, messy hair hanging over his forehead while his fingers grip your ankle tightly. You whimper when he pulls all the way out again, one more hard tap against your pulsing clit before he pushes himself halfway into your leaking pussy. You rise onto your elbows, trying to reach one hand to grab for his hip but he releases the base of his cock to stop you by lacing your fingers together. When Haechan finally looks into your eyes he bottoms out, stretching your leg toward your chest so he can lean in. His hips stutter, a choked groan rumbling deep in his chest.

“Oh my god, Hyuck please.” you beg him to move with a gasp. His forehead presses to your chin, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fuck, baby, been needing you," he thrusts into you slowly, lifting his head to look down at you glowing beneath him with your eyes shut. He pulls out all the way before thrusting back inside, quickening his hips when your eyes flutter open, the look on your face enough to make his balls tighten slightly, shutting his eyes to regain self control "knew you'd feel so fucking good."

"M’so full, Haechan." you moan at his words and the rapid slap of his hips on the back of your thighs, forcing your eyes to stay open so you can see his face. The way his nose scrunches with focus when he pulls away from your chest, both his hands wrapping firmly around your hips while he watches his cock sink into you. Brown, shaggy hair sticks to his damp forehead, full lower lip taken between his teeth. He’s pure, unadulterated boyish beauty, and he’s all yours.

You squeak when he lets your leg drop off his shoulder, pressing your thigh as far open as it will go with your heel digging into his backside. He fans his fingers over your lower stomach, thumb reaching down to push your clit side to side and your hips tuck up for more pressure, Haechan moans loudly when the movement causes you to clamp around his cock, "Perfect fucking pussy, can't believe it's mine now. Like my fingers on your pretty clit?”

You nod enthusiastically, letting go of your breasts to hold the backs of your thighs, Haechan's eyes move up your body to stare at your chest move beneath him, nipples looking sweet as candy. He’s dying to sink his fingers into the softest part of your stomach, the way you’re moving for him makes his mind turn to sand. You stare down to where his thumb is making circles over your clit, perfectly timed with the head of his cock bruising your g-spot. You feel a second orgasm build and the corner of his mouth pulls up proudly when your legs shake. Your head hangs back as you gasp for air, "yes, please, Haechan feels so fucking good."

"Make the prettiest noises for me, want you cumming all over my cock." he leans forward just enough to trap your throat beneath the weight of his palms, other hand still moving over your swollen clit. You smile at the pressure of his body on yours, eyes fluttering shut while you moan. You nod desperately when he asks if you can do that, "if you can let me make you feel that good, please, my pretty girl."

He takes his hand off your throat when you cum, wanting to hear every sound you could possibly make. You repeat his name like a blessing that has him cumming with you, moaning and breathless as his hips start to slow, milking you both through your orgasms.

You wrap your arms around him when he pulls out of you, reveling in the feeling of him when he lowers himself down, burrowing his face into your neck and warming your skin with his breath. You hold him there for a minute until he pulls his head up, dopey smile lighting up his eyes and making you laugh.

“What?” you scrunch your nose at him “better than your dreams?”

He nods, “so much better, best I ever had, my body belongs to you now.” he smirks at his own words, but his tone is so gentle he can’t even call it a joke.

“Just your body?” you tease, and he leans his nose onto your lips for a kiss that you carry onto the mole under his eye.

“Body, mind, heart, soul,” he sighs happily when you cup his cheeks in your hands, kissing him gently “all the planets in my head.”

"All the planets in my head too."

————

masterlist

authors note // this ended up being much longer than i anticipated, maybe the longest one shot i’ve ever actually written! i appreciate everyone who voted for happy ending because when i was originally thinking of a sad ending it was too hard lol. this feels forever unfinished because there is so much good to this version of haechan, i adore him.

[touyasdoll]

Like a Sister

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x best friend's little sister!reader

! Disclaimer ! NO INCEST. NO STEPCEST. absolutely nothing against those who write/read that, but this isn't that and I just wanna make that clear <3

Word count: 5k

Warnings: reader is Kiri's adoptive younger sister. I always try to make everything as inclusive as possible, so pls let me know (politely!) if I failed somewhere. fem reader, alcohol, intentionally making someone jealous, reader is wearing a skirt & a charm bracelet, reader gets picked up, missionary/intimate sex, no real prep, lots of feelings involved

Notes: I'm so sorry that this took literally over a year, but I hope that you enjoy it <3

Heartbeats & Handgrenades Masterlist

Your big brother is always looking out for you. You two have been close for as far back as you can remember and he’s always been very protective of you, because the absolute worst thing that he can think of is seeing you get hurt, so he does whatever he can to prevent that. 

It’s sweet, of course, and you love him for it. Eijirou is the best sibling that anyone could ask for. It’s nice having someone who cares enough to look out for you the way that he does. 

However. 

The problem is that he does so damn good of a job trying to look out for you that he ends up scaring off most of the guys you’re interested in. 

It started back in your school days. You’re only a year younger than your adoptive big bro, so you almost always attended the same school. But the moment that he put two and two together and realized that boys had taken an interest in you? It was like his protection skills leveled up. It was as if he had developed a sixth sense for when a cute boy was talking to you. He was always just around somehow. 

It went beyond your time in school though. It’s now become a sizable problem for you well into your adulthood. The same routine over and over again. The guy you’re talking to finds out that you’re the Red Riot’s little sister and suddenly they’re ghosting you for fear of ending up on his bad side. They’ve seen what he’s capable of. Well, physically capable of. In actuality, you don’t think that anyone who did cross you would get more than maybe a stern talking to from the “fearsome” hero. You can’t really blame them though. Most people don’t look at the rock hard hero and think of him as the teddy bear that you know him to be. 

The worst part is that doesn’t even realize that he’s essentially a chronic cockblock and you haven’t ever had the heart to tell him. Not that you think you want to. It is a bit of an awkward conversation to broach with your elder brother. How are you supposed to tell him that him being terrifyingly good at his job is what’s causing all your dick appointments to cancel on you? Especially when he thinks that you’re still such a sweet girl too. Such an innocent girl. Thankfully, he is incorrect there. His brawn doesn’t scare away absolutely everyone that you’re interested in. You’ve had plenty of practice by ways of shallow dating app hookups and bad decisions made after one too many at the bar. But it’s not like you’ve ever brought anyone home to meet the family, so he’s none the wiser to your ways. 

You’ve never so much as mentioned anyone you were seeing to your brother, which is fine by him. In his humble opinion, no one’s good enough for you anyway, which is something that he has expressed multiple times; it’s not a secret that’s what he thinks. He’s more than prepared to see you as his pure, innocent little sister forever.

Bakugou though? He has a lot more trouble picturing you as innocent.

He’s spent too many nights fisting his cock to the thought of your tight pussy wrapped around him. He’s imagined the taste of you on his tongue one too many times to see you as the virginal sweetheart that his best friend believes that you are.

He hates himself for it too. Hates that he always ends up here, furiously stroking himself while suffocating the sound of your name on his lips into his pillow, lest his roommate—your brother—hear him. Hates it. 

Because as much as he lusts after you, he loves you more. He's had to insist to Mina, who can see through his ruse and has called him out of it before, that he loves you like a sister, but in truth, he loves every little thing about you far beyond that. The sound of your laugh, listening to you talk about your interests, even the face that you make when something’s bothering you. He knows it immediately, because all he does when you’re around is watch you. He wants to know what upsets you, so that he can avoid it, so that he can fix it. So that he can make you happy, because that’s all that he’s ever wanted for you. Happiness. 

He couldn't tell you when it started, this little crush of his. As far as he can recall, he's always been drawn to you. You, who would always tag along with the rest of the gang back when you were all in high school. Who never seemed put off by his abrasive personality, even though it was certainly much worse back then. Who, even still today, always offers him a smile and makes his day just a bit brighter with only your presence.

He also couldn't tell you how he felt. First, he had no idea if you felt the same. He liked to think that he was fairly emotionally intelligent, good at reading cues and all that, but when it came to you, he was clueless. And he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to take the rejection. 

Little did he know that you were trying to make it obvious. Your innocent schoolgirl crush had turned into something that ran much deeper than that after so many years of knowing Bakugou. Much like your brother, you immediately saw past his tough exterior and came to realize that he's actually one of the most caring and thoughtful people that you've ever met. He's always looking out for others, and you’ve noticed that you are no exception.

He saw you out on a date once, which was the point. You went to his usual coffee shop with some guy, because you knew that he would be there after his shift for an afternoon pick-me-up. You had hoped that it would make him jealous. That maybe you could get a sense for whether or not he harbored the same feelings that you did. Whether or not he had the same recurrent  thoughts about the feeling of his skin on yours. You just wanted to know; you wanted an inkling of something to prove that maybe he was just as interested as you. 

He did seem irritated beyond that typical gruff facade of his, but he also seemed genuine when he pulled you aside and told you that your date wasn't worth your time. Of course, he'd been right too. Not too long after Bakugou had scooped up his order and bolted, the idiot in question started visibly ogling other patrons in the cafe.

He was always right. About everything. It would honestly be annoying if he wasn't so good at giving advice. You knew that you could always go to him with even the silliest of problems and he'd offer you an attentive ear and a few words of wisdom that you never would've considered on your own. He had a knack for solving your every dilemma. 

Which gives you a wicked idea. 

He's always helped you out before. So why can't he help you with this little problem that you're having now?

Feeling a stroke of genius, you hatch a plan to send Bakugou signals that he can't miss.

You check the time on your phone. 2:16 PM. Your brother still has plenty of time left during his patrol shift and Katsuki is most likely at the apartment all by himself. 

///

Half an hour later, you’re rapping your knuckles against the apartment door and before you can even drop your hand back to your side, the door’s swinging open. 

Bakugou stands before you in gray sweatpants and a loose muscle tank that may have been a sleeved shirt at one point, but now it’s been cut nearly all the way to the hem on both sides. His face twists in confusion as he looks down at you.

“Didn’t your brother tell you he was workin’ today? He won’t be home for another couple hours.”

“I know,” you say simply, shrugging and clasping your hands behind your back as you stroll inside the apartment. “I came to see you.”

“Me?” He asks, sounding slightly incredulous, though he covers it by clearing his throat. “Why? Ya need somethin’?”

“Yeah, actually. Do you have a minute?” 

You go ahead and slip your shoes off by the door before making yourself comfortable on the couch, fanning out your short skirt, so that it drapes across your thigh just right when you cross your legs. 

“I’ve always got time for you.” 

He shrugs, sauntering over to take a seat on the opposite side of the couch. He angles his body to face you as he sprawls out, his muscular arm laying over the back of the couch, fingers almost near enough to touch your shoulder. 

“What’s goin’ on?”

It’s hard to focus on his question when you can see so much of his bare chest beneath his altered tank top, but his voice pulls your eyes to his face and your brain, thankfully, catches up. 

“I’ve just been having some boy troubles,” you admit, a soft pout pursing your lips together. You don’t miss the glance that he steals at them. 

“Well, that’s your problem,” he scoffs. “Stop dating boys and trying dating a man for a change. Boys are just gonna break your heart. A real man’ll treat ya right.”

“By a real man, do you mean someone like.. you?” 

You ask so blatantly that it makes his head spin. He doesn’t even register your hand on his knee until a full two seconds later; he’s too busy trying to process whether or not you actually said what he thinks you said. He looks down and you swear you can sense the nervous energy radiating off of him as he lifts his hand to rest it atop your own. He doesn’t want you to stop touching him, but he’s already picturing folding you in half right there on the couch and he respects his best friend too much to ever do something like that to his sister. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

“Someone like me, yeah,” he says as he starts to push your hand away, but he can’t bring himself to actually do it. 

He presses his hand down on top of yours and finds the nerve to meet your gaze, which he immediately recognizes as a mistake. That little smile on your lips. The sense of longing that he’s almost certain he can see in your eyes. They’re both dwindling his resolve down to nothing. 

“Well, why not you?” You shrug, daring to slip your hand up to his thigh. “Why can’t I have you, Katsuki?”

He can’t believe how simple you’re making it sound. As if you two could be together just like that? What would Kirishima think? What would he do? He’s at a loss for words. He can think of reasons to say no, but all that he wants to say is yes. 

“Out of every man that I’ve ever met, you’ve always treated me the best,” you say as you look down at your hands, placing your other one on top of his. “You’re always here for me when I need you. You look out for me. You actually seem to care about how I’m doing. You even pay attention to the little things like how I take my coffee or even when I wear a different perfume. Why shouldn’t I be with a guy who does all of that?”

His heart is pounding in his chest. He’s never actually felt his pulse move quite this fast and considering his line of work, that’s saying something. He opens his mouth, trying to find a way to refuse you, but he can’t. He just can’t. 

“You should,” he starts, brows knitting together with regret. “You absolutely should and you shouldn’t settle for anything less, but I don’t.. I don’t know if..”

His lips press together in a hard line. He can’t even say the words. You tilt your head and the disappointed look on your face just about kills him right there. 

“It’s okay, I understand. I thought that..” you trail off, looking down as you start to pull your hands away. “I’m sorry. I must’ve been misreading things.”

“No,” he says quickly, sandwiching both of your hands between his own as you lift your head to meet his eyes once more and he finds relief in the hope that he finds there. “No, that’s not it. I,” he sighs. “You didn’t misread anything. I like you. Goddamn, do I fucking like you..”

HIs ruby eyes search your face, a melancholy smile just barely turning up the corners of his mouth. You hold your breath, trying to prepare yourself for the inevitable ‘but’ that you feel coming. 

“But I don’t know if I could do that to your brother.”

Your shoulders slump and your face falls too, eyes averting to focus on a spot on the floor as you nod your head. You would try to mask your disappointment, but you can’t seem to. Even in this scenario, being Red Riot’s little sister hinders your romantic prospects. 

“I was hoping that because it’s you it wouldn’t be an issue,” you say quietly, retracting your hands as you stand up. “I’m really sorry for bothering you with this. Just don’t even tell him that I was here, please. I’ll get out of your hair before I embarrass myself further.”

You turn to leave and he flies to his feet, reaching out to take your hand and spin you around to face him. His impressively large form looms over you, sizing you up with a genuinely curious expression. 

“What do you mean by that? Because it’s me?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug, looking up at him with those doe eyes again. “I just figured that if ever there was a guy that he thought he could trust would treat me right, it’d be you. He respects you more than anyone else he knows. He’s known you forever. He even still looks up to you. If you don’t meet the standard in his eyes then.. I don’t know that anyone ever will.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that. He just stares down at you with knit brows and a scowl on his lips, rendered both pensive and frustrated by just how much sense it makes. He can’t deny that. But he also can’t ignore the seemingly infinite amount of times that Kirishima had warned every single member of their friend group growing up that you were strictly off limits. 

Then again. You’re an adult. He’s an adult. And he’s always thought that his friend was a bit too overbearing when it came to your dating life. He gets where he’s coming from; he doesn’t want you dating an asshole, but they’re on the same page there. And this is different. Right? What you’re saying makes sense. He’d never hurt you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did. Kirishima would understand this logic, wouldn’t he?

He hoped so.

You’re waiting for him to say something. Do something. Anything. Finally, he seems to snap out of his thoughts and he tugs on your hand, pulling you closer to slip his arm around your waist as his hand leaves yours to cup your cheek. He kisses you the way that he’s wanted to for so, so long and it feels too right to seem like the wrong decision. 

It happens so fast that you’re caught off guard. It takes a moment for it to register that this is actually happening, but when you realize, you kiss him back with just as much passion. All that tension is broken, shattered to pieces to leave nothing but a sense of all encompassing need in its place. You press your hands to his chest, fingers tightening around the fabric of his tank to tug impatiently. You’d both waited long enough. You’d both waited long enough for this and it was becoming evident just how little patience the both of you had left by the way that you’re hands are greedily exploring each other’s bodies. 

“Are you sure about this?” He manages to mutter between feverish kisses as his hands start to skim beneath your top. “Because I don’t think I’ll survive it if you end up changin’ your mind on me, princess.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you reply without hesitation, reaching down to pull your top off completely before you reach back to unhook your bra. 

You lean in to kiss him again, but he pulls back to take in the sight of you. He’s dreamed about this moment for too long, but it’s clear now that his imagination hasn't been able to do you justice. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he says so sincerely that it makes you stop for a moment as your cheeks grow warm. 

You lean in again to grab the hem of his shirt, giving him a chaste kiss before you lift it over his head and toss it aside. Your fingertips explore the shape of his abs, traveling up and over his chest until your hands are pressed behind his neck to pull him in once more. 

“So are you,” you murmur against his lips, capturing them again to slip your tongue into his mouth. 

His large hands find the small of your back before they dip lower to cup your ass. He flips up your skirt and groans when he feels the warmth of your bare skin, massaging your cheeks with a firm but gentle touch. His confidence seems to be growing as quickly as his erection has. You think to yourself that he must not have anything beneath his sweats with the way that you can feel his cock prodding at you.

He helps you shed the rest of your clothing, tugging your panties off along with your skirt before he lifts his arms to let you lift his tank and toss it aside. He’s thoroughly worked up and ready to go, but nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of your palm against his throbbing member. His breath hitches and the noise he makes almost sounds pained. All he can think about is having you wrapped around him. He nearly forgets to breathe as he bucks his hips into your touch. A whine even slips from his lips.

“You really don’t know what you do to me,” he murmurs, eyes closed and hands greedy as they knead the fat of your ass again. 

“I think I have an idea,” you reply, wearing a playful smile as you cut to the chase and tug his sweats down to wrap your hand around his fully exposed and swollen cock. 

He suddenly stoops down to grab you behind your thighs, effortlessly lifting you up onto his waist as he silences you with a commanding kiss. He steps out of the sweats now pooled around his ankles and carts you off to the bedroom. 

Your arms are wound tight around his neck and neither one of you seems to want to come up for air. Even when he lays you down, he keeps his lips moving against yours. You part your legs and his fingertips skim along the outside of your thigh as his hips start to roll. He can’t even pretend that he’s in control of them as his tip begins to press against your slit, begging to part your lips and slip right inside of you. 

“Do it,” you beg, the plea hardly a whisper as you continue crashing your lips into his. “Please, Katsuki. I’m ready, I promise. Just fuck me already.”

You shift your hips forward and, as much as he wants to take his time with you, he can’t help himself when you manage to nudge the head of his cock inside of you. He immediately gets lost in the warm, wet, and welcoming sensation of your walls. You apparently weren’t kidding when you said you were ready. He drags his hips back and then allows himself to be sucked in as he slowly sinks himself inside. 

The both of you let out a sigh of mutual relief and he pushes himself up, placing his hands on either side of your body to stare down at your perfect face. He gives another roll of his hips and struggles to keep his own eyes open, so that he can watch the way yours fall shut and how your face twists as the pleasure courses through your body. He thinks to himself that it has to be one of the best things that he’s ever been blessed enough to see and he knows that he needs more. He needs to make you feel better than anyone else ever has. 

So that’s what he does. 

His lips connect with every inch of your skin as he languidly thrusts in and out, allowing you to fully cherish every glorious sensation. The feeling of him stretching you out so slowly, filling you up as his hips gently connect with your own. The loving kisses peppered all the way from your temple to the valley of your breasts. The soft yet sinful sounds of him losing himself within you, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear as he sinks inside yet again and realizes he never wants to pull out. 

You return his gentle touches in kind. Your hands blindly travel along his body, exploring his back, chest, and biceps at a leisurely pace, eager to offer him as many wonderful sensations as he’s lavishing you with until you feel a tightening deep within your belly that inspires you to clutch tight to his back, nails imprinting half moons into his flesh as your legs tighten around his hips. 

Without a word, he knows what you need and he gives it to you. 

He readjusts, propping himself up further to allow himself more leverage, which he uses to his full advantage as he starts drilling into you, steadily increasing his pace with each thrust of his hips. He tosses his head back, letting out a guttural groan and the odd curse word as his movements become more sloppy, but in the best way. 

The both of you become completely tangled up with one another, a mesh of two bodies become one as you move in tandem, trading fervent kisses and wanton moans back and forth until your overcome by pleasure. 

Your hands find the fabric of his comforter, now mussed atop his once neatly made bed, and you hold fast to it as your spine bows. Everything is rigid and all too much for a brief second before euphoria explodes throughout your every nerve ending, sending you into a glorious spiral. You call his name again and again in your bliss, too far gone to find any other words. They’ve lost all meaning. You beckon him closer with each utterance and every maddening pulse of your walls around him. He hardly has time to appreciate your orgasm for all it’s worth before his own hits him like a freight train. 

“F-fuck!” He growls, overwhelmed by the force with which he cums.

He doesn’t even have the sense to think about pulling out, much less the time to do it before he’s pouring every last drop of his seed deep inside your cunt. He hangs his head, enveloping you in his arms as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, smothering it in kisses as he pants and groans through his release. 

Eventually, you both slow to a halt, but you don’t disconnect right away. You exchange more tender touches and gentle nuzzles back and forth, content to maintain your proximity while your blood slowly begins to cool and the thrumming in your chests starts to dissipate, though both of you are pleased to find it never goes away completely. Not like it ever had before when you were around one another, but now that both of you know how the other feels, it’s different. It’s better. 

Everything is better. 

He opens his mouth to speak, to finally breathe life into those three little words that have died on his tongue countless times throughout the years in his cowardice, but the sound of the lock on the front door clicking open has them perishing yet again. 

He freezes, realizing that there’s likely no way out of this now. You’re just as petrified, holding stock still until you hear the door swing open and both of you spring into action. Bakugou clambers off of you to snatch a pair of boxers from his drawer, hopping into them as he swings his bedroom door shut while you scramble beneath the covers to at least protect your modesty. Thankfully, your brother isn’t able to take a peek inside the room. You just hope that he doesn’t recognize your clothing piled beside the coffee table.

“Shit, I guess I should’ve told you I was comin’ home early. Sorry, bro,” Kirishima laughs as his heavy boots can be heard venturing into the living room. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Pretend like I’m not here.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, but it's minimal. You know you have to go and go fast. 

“I’ll get your clothes,” Bakugou says quietly, listening at the door for the click of Kirishima’s. 

You nod and sit up in the bed, waiting for him to return and hand you your outfit before you slip out from beneath the covers to dress. He does the same, stepping into the same sweats and tank top that you’d torn off of him earlier. 

“M’sorry about this,” he mutters, nodding towards the door. 

You shake your head, walking closer to wrap your arms around his middle as you tilt your head back and smile at him. His arms fold around you to pull you snug to his chest. You rest a hand on his cheek and pull him into a kiss that’s as sweet and deliberate as he had been with you and he’s grateful for it. He’d been half afraid that you’d scurry away and pretend as if this hadn’t even happened.

“Don’t be. We’ll figure out how to tell him together, okay? I just don’t want it to be this way.”

“Right. I don’t either. We’ll figure it out,” he repeats, his lips turning up in a smile that softens as he studies your features. “We’re gonna have to, because I love you.”

His admission renders you speechless, your eyes widening as heat creeps up the back of your neck. The pulse of your heart starts thumping in your own ears again, hammering throughout your every blood vessel as you will yourself to snap out of it. 

“I love you too,” you blurt out unceremoniously, though you know you mean those three little words and the smile on his face says that he knows it too. 

“I’m not working tonight. I can come by in a little bit?” He suggests, hopeful that you’ll agree and how could you not?

“I’ll make us dinner,” you confirm, smiling ear to ear as you lean in to kiss him once again.

He tightens his hold on you, finding it more and more difficult to let you go the longer that he has you in his arms, but reluctantly, the two of you soon part and he knows that you have to leave. 

He pokes his head out to ensure that the coast is clear before he guides you out of the room and you hurry out the door, turning to blow a kiss over your shoulder before you head down the hall, giddy as you’ve ever been. 

Bakugou tidies up his room, mulling over an excuse to offer his best friend until he and Kirishima both end up in the kitchen together. 

“Seems like you’ve had a pretty good afternoon, huh?” Eijirou grins and bumps him on the shoulder before he ducks into the fridge for a beer. “Who’s the girl? Anyone I know?”

“Nah, just some girl from the gym. Don’t think you’ve seen her around.”

He feels terrible lying, but he figures it’s for the best, just for the time being. He’ll come clean eventually. No harm, no foul, right?

“Well, good for you, man. It’s good to see you puttin’ yourself out there. I was gettin’ a little worried about you being chronically single,” he jokes, chuckling as he travels into the living room to get comfortable on the couch and flip on the tv. 

“Ha, yeah.” He nods, though he’s unable to even look his friend in the face as he snatches his water bottle and heads for the door. “I’m actually going over to her place for dinner, so I’ll probably be back later, but don’t wait up, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun, man,” Kirishima calls back, smiling genuinely as he waves him out the door. 

That is, until he notices the small charm on the floor in front of him. He leans forward to pick it up and isn’t difficult for him to put two and two together. The clothes he’d spotted earlier had seemed familiar, but he didn’t think much of it. This, he couldn’t dispute. He knows this charm, because he had gifted it to you just last week as an addition to the bracelet that always adorned your wrist. And, as far as he knew, you hadn’t been over to their place since last month, yet here the charm was. 

He doesn’t know what hurts more, that two of his best friends felt like they had to sneak around behind his back or that one of them had just lied to his face about it.

I know I didn’t have to end it this way. the impulsive thoughts won today and I’m sorry about it ajdhsh but thank you so much for reading!! 💕 take a forehead kiss on your way out *mwah*

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[springgirlshowers]

How about the reader and Joost are childhood friends that get split up, but reunite because Joost wants them to be apart of his eurovison team. They realize they miss eachother a lot and confess and happily ever after (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

It’s So Sweet

Paring: Joost x GN!Reader (no pronouns used!)

CW: none!

A/N: ahhhhhh this one is so cuuuuuute! i love the childhood friends to lovers trope so much! thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy it <333

masterlist!

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Joost and you were never seen apart as kids. Always walking in the school hallways together, sitting and partnering up in the classes you had together. Constantly hanging out after school and on the weekends. You two were basically connected at the hip.

Until your family gave you the news you would be moving to Sweden. Something to do with a better job opportunity. You begged for them not to, to move somewhere where you currently were at least. Though you knew your pleas wouldn’t do much.

Before you left, Joost and you exchanged emails. To keep in touch while you two would be apart.

You did for awhile. But as you both got older, your emails to each other took longer. It would be weeks, months, before you replied to each other.

Until they just stopped completely. You two had gotten too caught up into your adulthood. You hadn’t returned to your hometown since you moved away.

Joost fell into a successful career as a musician. You getting yours as a dancer.

It’s been years since you and him talked.

Your heart nearly stopped once you saw the notification when you were on the bus after a rehearsal.

joostklein has requested to follow you.

His profile picture was a picture of him as a toddler. The one you’ve seen so many times before, hanging on the wall in his living room when you went over to hangout after school.

You looked through his account, he almost looked the exact same as he did when he was a preteen. Only his body was scattered in tattoos, he had grown a mustache, much taller, and his hair was dyed into a nearly white color and cut into a mullet.

His most recent posts were a reel revealing how he’d be representing the Netherlands in the next Eurovision competition, and another video revealing the date his song for the event would be released.

Minutes after you accepted the request and followed him back, he messaged you.

It was a simple question, asking if you were the same one he knew as a kid. You responded, telling him you were.

The texts following after that were a little bit awkward. Soon the tension between you both was gone, you told each about what you’ve been doing for the past years, how they’d gone, what you’ve been doing now.

After exchanging phone numbers, the texts turned into calls, then video chats.

You listened to his songs, almost going through every single one of his albums in one night.

You were surprised by a lot of the lyrics, by how the innocent boy with a side swept haircut you once knew, was now singing about having sex with women to a mario kart remixed beat and saying “suck my dick bitch” multiple times in another song.

You honestly found them catchy, however you realized they were better to listen to with earbuds in or alone, rather than in any public place.

However, the lyrics in other songs were more heart breaking. God, soul shattering even.

“Maybe it was wrong. But I miss us, I miss home.”

“My dad who was laying there, seen but no authority. We'll see by the days, we don't say goodbye. My mom who was laying there, I often think about that day.”

“Hey, I have a disease, it's a very specific one. I always panic and they have no therapies.”

“But still it hurts. Am running from myself. Cry the entire day for "help"

Joost would show you his tattoos, the ones he already had and the ones he wanted to get in the future, drawings he made, but he refused to show you the idea concepts for his Eurovision costume.

He told you he wanted it to be a surprise.

The day before he revealed his outfit to the rest of the world. He called you during a work break, telling you he had to show you something.

You opened the video call to see him standing there in a big bright blue suit with extremely pointy shoulders.

You felt bad when you let out a laugh, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle it.

“You like it?” He asked, posing goofily.

“Yeah. It’s very…silly. Very big.” His grin only grew larger at your words.

“Perfect. That’s exactly what I was aiming for.” He smiled and sat down.

“So, your other friends, one of them is gonna dress up as a bird? And the other is gonna wear a clip on ponytail?”

“Yep!” He pipped. You just laughed and shook your head. He cleared his throat, his face on the screen looking nervous all of the sudden.

“So, you told me you still dance.”

“Yeah! I do group shows and stuff.” You nodded, placing your head on your fist.

“That’s great, very great. Um, do you still hakken?” You were a bit taken aback, confused by why he was asking about that specific dance.

“Uh yeah. But usually jokingly, like when I’m with friends.” You bit at your thumbnail. “Did you ever learn?”

“Yeah! I’ve gotten pretty good at it.” He chuckled, going silent for a minute after. “I’m wondering if you would perform with me, like on the stage. I need another back up dancer. And you’ve always been so talented at it.” His words made you blush, but you were still a bit unsure on what he was asking you.

“So, um, you want me to do the hakken dance with you? At your performance?” You felt nervous, when you did the dance you usually did it after a night of drinking to make your friends laugh.

“Only if you want to! I mean, we could meet up, I’m in Sweden now.”

“What?” You shouted, cringing at how loud it was.

“Yeah, i’ve been here to do interviews and all that stuff.” He scratched at his arms, a bit embarrassed he didn’t tell you earlier about this.

“You really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He spoke, “Its free of charge for you, you’ll get paid for it. If that persuades you.” He added on, joking.

“I’ll do it for free.” Maybe your answer was a bit too quick, maybe it was impulsive. But you really wanted to see Joost again, you’d jump at any chance you could see him.

The both of you agreed to meet up a few days later at a park not far from where you lived.

The park was quite empty, most likely due to the fact the sun was already going down, an orange gradient filling the sky.

You nervously walked up to him, he was sitting on a bench. He looked so familiar yet so different. It gave you a strange sense of nostalgia.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He immediately grinned as he saw you. You sat down next to him.

The sunset cast a golden glow on his face, making his blue eyes so much more prominent, his face was so gorgeous.

“So you’ll really dance with me?”

“Yeah, why not.” You shrugged, completely unbothered by his question.

“You’ll be on a giant stage in front of thousands of people. You’ll be on TV with the entirety of Europe watching.” Joost felt nervous, he didn’t want to pressure you into doing this, he really wanted you to be there with himz But he wasn’t gonna force you into something you had no interest for.

“I’ve never been one for stage fright.” You smiled, the sweetness in your expression made his worries begin to drift away.

“Perfect.” He looked down at his feet, smiling so hard his cheeks begin to hurt, “I’ll text you the schedules and everything you need to know.”

“Cool.” You looked down at your shoes as well. Enjoying the comfortable silence and soft breeze of the air.

“I really missed you.” He spoke out, added your name to the sentence, making it more impacting. You looked at him, jaw ajar in admiration.

“I missed you too.” You said softly, placing your hand over his. Soon wrapping it around his. You both sat there for a few minutes like that.

“I’ve been thinking of moving back.” You broke the silence. “To the Netherlands, that is.”

“Really?” Joost looked at you, a mixture of amazement and shock in his face.

“Yeah. A company reached out to me, giving me a job opportunity. Really good pay, positive reviews, a safe workplace.” It felt funny, you were thinking about coming back to your hometown for the same reason your family made you leave.

“That’s great! You should take it!”

“I probably will. It seems promising.” You squeezed his hand. “And it’d be nice to be close to you again.” You added on, pursing your lips to try and hold back a smile, it failed.

“Yeah, yeah, that would be nice.” He murmured,“Um, I should get going, early TV interviews tomorrow.”

You nodded, getting up before he did.

“Just text me what channel you’ll be on, i’ll make sure to watch for you.” You said, a little bit too excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah, I will! I’ll see you later.” He chuckled.

“I’ll be in the Netherlands in a month most likely, just so you know. See you, Joost.” You turned, only getting a few steps in before his voice stopped you, causing you look back at him.

“There’s this really great ice cream parlor that opened up there, maybe we could, uh, go there when you’re back, if you’d like?” He cleared his throat.

“I’ll be going back in a month too, just for a little bit before I have to come here again.” He fiddled with his fingers.

“Awesome then, it’s a date.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

[ivymarquis]

So I was being a lil creep on @391780's blog and saw she'd made a comment about how {Valeria}'s so hot and so mean i just know she'd call a fat y/n something fucking terrible and make fun of her size. and whilst Imma not write any body shaming because that's fucked, my brain did black out at the mention of Valeria being terrible and wicked to Reader and this is what I came back to;

Mean Girl

Pairing| Valeria Garza x Reader Rating| M Word Count| 1.8l Kinks/Content/Warnings| Their dynamic probably isn't healthy but everything is consensual, chubby reader, anal sex, strap on, begging, punishment, name calling, slut shaming, Valeria is not dealing with reader's shit tonight, pussy slapping, squirting, aftercare

Your mother always cautioned you about bad boys growing up. You took one look at them, decided they weren’t worth the hassle and hit the books. 

Which was all fine and well when you finished school with stellar grades and no distracting boyfriends, because it wasn’t boys that caught your attention regardless of if they were bad or not. 

Now a mean girl?

As it turns out that is much more your style. 

How exactly one ventures down the “mean girl” to “cartel leader” pipeline is a mystery for the ages, but quicker than you can blink one moment you’re being introduced to El Sin Nombre’s sicaria, and the next you’re her spoiled little house cat.

Unlike the average house cat though, there’s minimal tolerance for any foolishness or shenanigans in Valeria’s household. 

She doesn’t expect much beyond your blind obedience to her every whim, and you’ve got hearts for pupils every time you look at her.  Absolutely no fucking regard to the fact that you’ve gone from no relationship experience through your schooling years and gone head first into the deep end with no life jacket with Valeria Garza of all people. 

That formal education isn’t doing you much good now.

Not that either of you are complaining. 

Valeria isn’t difficult to live with once you learn her quirks and idiosyncrasies. She is consistent in her expectations- sets the rules, and accepts no deviations from them. Anything less is punished. 

Now, considering the shit she’s probably complicit in if not outright done herself, you get off virtually scott free from punishments compared to others. You’ve still got all your fingers, limbs, and teeth thank you very much. 

But that still leaves a whole spectrum of punishment.

You’ve been on your best behavior- usually stumbling into corrections on accident and learning quickly what mistakes to not make again.

By now you’ve been with Valeria long enough that new relationship jitters shouldn’t be fluttering in your belly every time to set your eyes on her. And yet- She’s just sublime. You can’t help yourself. 

As someone who survived childhood and navigates adulthood by being polite and pleasant (occasionally to your own detriment), it is awe inspiring watching her enter a room and immediately take control of it. So far as anyone around her can tell, the world does in fact revolve around her and anyone stupid enough to not understand that is reminded of their place immediately.

You know that you’re not exempt from the firm grip Valeria keeps on her surroundings, but you manage to muck it up and overstep your place anyway.

“What’s that pretty brain of yours thinking about, Bunny?” she asks one night as the pair of you are reclined on the bed. It’s fairly obvious that she’s the subject of your current thoughts, looking at her like she hung the moon.

You don’t think much of it as you reply “Just thinking I have no idea what you see in me sometimes.”

Valeria makes her adoration of you painfully obvious so it’s not like you have reason to question it, but the pair of you are such polar opposites in every category, from build to disposition, that you’re the pinnacle of opposites attract. You wouldn’t survive a day in her world if it wasn’t readily apparent to anyone who might interact with you that Valeria will personally deliver their severed heads to their grandmothers’ doorstep if they don’t watch themselves. And, well- you don’t really do the self-pity thing because you can be hot and fat at the same time, but Valeria is hot in a conventional way that still boggles your mind when her clothes come off. 

So yes, for multiple reasons you often find yourself wondering how the hell you managed to pull her?

The previously soft, bemused expression on her face is wiped to a cold neutral as her eyes narrow sharply at you. Ah, fuck, you have just enough time to realize you stepped out of line with that comment just as she rolls over and straddles you. 

“If I wanted to fuck someone like me, Bunny, I’d just fuck myself. Perhaps you need a reminder of that?”

Next thing you know she’s got your hands bound to the headboard, ignoring the way you tug at the binds and whine as she works her strap inside your lubed up ass.

“Quit fucking squirming,” she sharply admonishes you, one hand gripping the soft flesh of your thigh for leverage as the other circles your clit to make you relax.

The beauty of a store bought cock is it’s the perfect size, part of why you can’t sit still.

As far as punishments go, once again you are getting off incredibly easy (and if you beg very, very nicely and are very apologetic and repentant you will probably get off in the conventional sense too) considering you absolutely love anal, but you’re sure Valeria already has a plan in mind to make sure she can drive her point home. We don’t want to have this conversation more than once, she’ll tell you.

“I don’t have to tell you what will happen if you cum without permission,” she reminds you, ignoring the way you whimper as she pulls her hand away from your clit as she finishes working the length of her strap in, her hips pressed flush to the plush of your ass.

“Valeria, please, I’m sorry,” you start immediately, knowing if you want to wriggle your way back into her good graces the sooner you start pleading the better.

“You’re sorry?” she mocks, ignoring the shiver that runs through you as she pulls out just to press back into you again, “We’ll see.”

Her thrusts are slow and measured with just enough force you’re seeing stars as chills run up and down your spine.

“I don’t know where the fuck you get off,” she criticizes in time with the wet clap of her hips to your ass, “questioning me of all people.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to,” well, didn’t realize she’d take it like that but she’s making it abundantly clear now.

“You didn’t mean to?” she parrots back cruelly as you whine when she presses up against something inside you that has your leg shaking. “You’re such a little slut, look at how wet your cunt is,” Valeria degrades with her eyes glued between your legs, the way your skin glitters in the dim lighting from your own wetness. There’s very little you wouldn’t be willing to do to get Valeria to pay attention to your empty cunt right now, but you also know you’re on thin ice and don’t want to do anything to cause cracks to form in the ground under you.

Your focus drifts towards the knot winding itself up in your abdomen, getting bigger and threatening to grow all consuming with each knock of her hips. Your hands twitch in their binds, tugging uselessly on reflex.

“Since you’re apparently too fucking stupid to remember the rules, I’ll make this simple for you,” she starts shortly- never mind that there’s several pieces of paper hung up on the wall to prove you’re not stupid. “My decisions are without fault- ever. You do what you’re fucking told, when you’re told. I don’t keep you here to think. I keep you here because I like watching the way your whole body bounces on my cock, got it?” The force behind her thrusts increases in increments as she speaks.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you babble both in pleasure from your ass getting pounded and to answer her. Maybe with someone else the sting of being called stupid (or a slut) would- well, sting. But when you mind your place and the relationship is functioning like it should, you’re happily in a place where you can turn the white noise in your brain off and just follow orders like a good girl. Good girls don’t think, they just do what they’re told.

“I’m sorry” you plea again, hoping that she’ll be more magnanimous now she’s said her peace. “I’m sorry Valeria I won’t do it again,” you promise.

“You’re sorry? Or do you just want to cum?” She lets out an unimpressed huff, hips thrusting in a way that has you squealing and thrashing against your binds.

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” It’s embarrassing the way your neglected pussy is dripping down between your legs and God you just want her to ease this unbearable ache inside of you. Your thighs burn from how much they’re trembling as you scramble to appeal to any mercy Valeria has before you cum against your better judgement and really put yourself in a fucking hole.

“Please, please, please- I’ll be good I promise!” you offer desperately. The only thing you can do is focus on breathing, trying with all your might to head off your orgasm.

“Fine,” She sounds exasperated, like she’s doing you such a favor allowing you to cum. “But you take what I give you and you better be fucking grateful for it.” Valeria hisses and no sooner are you nodding your head is she swatting at your cunt- hard.

You yelp at the sudden attention to your clit, and yelp each time she lands another blow to the swollen nub between your legs. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes between how fucking close you are and the sting from her hits.

She’s not entirely without mercy it seems- or she got bored slapping your clit and wants to watch you cum now- as the hand that is striking at you drops to your clit and rubs in tight, short circles just how you like.

Valeria laughs as you flinch in anticipation of the next swing before tensing in pleasure.

You’ve got just enough sense to squeak out “Thank you! Thank you, thank you-” in a mindless babble as your orgasm washes over you wetly. You’re messy when you climax and Valeria loves watching you squirt, evident by her delighted chuckle as you ruin the sheets.

“What kind of nasty whore gets off having her ass fucked, hm? Absolutely shameless,” Valeria goads but you’re fucked dumb and can’t possibly be expected to be paying attention anymore.

Everything gets hazy after that. At a certain point Valeria does decide she’s done with you, pulling out and laughing at how you’re such a twitchy, overstimulated mess.

When you come back to the land of the living, she’s somehow managed to coax you into the tub, the pair of you relaxing in the warm water. She’s got you tucked in between her legs, leaning against her with your nose buried in the crook of her neck.

“You back with me?” she asks, tone soft and gentle as one hand strokes at your shoulder.

“Mhmm,” you hum happily, nosing against her, sated and warm in the tub.

“Good. We’ll see about scrounging up some snacks in a bit, yeah?”

That sounds like a solid plan to you, although at the moment you’re so content in the bubble of warmth she’s got you enveloped in, you could happily stay here all night.

[harucchii]

Why ARE you proud of your asexuality, exactly? And how did and does it shape how you are as a person, having a natural lack of sexual attraction to anyone? What makes it important enough to celebrate? I'm asking genuinely because I don't understand and would like to. Thank you.

Hi! happy pride month :D

I am proud of my asexuality because is a part of me!! is something that affects the way i see people and for obvious reasons my relationships and trying to hide it or change will only lead me to be miserable

through my whole life i experienced things differently when it comes to attraction to people, i never seemed to develope crushes on my classmates or celebrities, cause i just.. didint care? to a point my mom got worried and straight up asked me if i was gay because my lack of interest "was not normal"

when i was in my first long term relationship my lack of sexual needs and desire was a huge issue that would lead on fights very often and my former partner to feel unloved as i would prefer just to cuddle or watch a movie. This back and foward with him and constant fights made me feel like efectibly was somethign wrong with me and transformed sex more of a chore than something im supposed to enjoy or want

thing which developed a huge sexual trauma on me but also helped me to understand that, that relationship would never work because i just could never deliver what he wanted and his needs were different than mine. we were just hurting each other

i also got sent to doctors by my mother as to find what was "wrong" with me as my lack of sexual needs was not "normal" for her

there is so much i had to deal and endure my whole adulthood because of this, because i experience thigns differently

now. more big and more mature i can confidently say, im asexual. I celebrate my asexuality because There was nothign wrong with me and the way i experience thigns is just different

i celebrate it and i mention it as an important part of myself because i know i will not be able to be in a fullfiling relationship if my partner is not aware of this fact or not willing to accept it

i celebrate it because doctors didnt found anything wrong in me and i just love differently. and asuming that lack of sexual attraction is part of an illness hurts people who might be dealing with this feelings!

I celebrate because in a hyper sexualized world i dont really seem to fit in, AND THAT IS OKAY, because the way i live my life should not affect others and they way they live theirs

i do feel romantic attraction! i can fall in love and love other person!! but i just cant deliver what most people would be expect in a relationship and that is okay!

And finally i celebrate to ensure online that the people who experience love differently just like me are not alone in this journey and will be okay :3. just a lil bit of emotional support for who might feel broken due what others say to them

I apologize if i repeat myself or i wronte something wrong as english is not my main language

have a good day!