#because they didnt show him being interested in women that much

[jakejeffreyperalta]

im not saying that kit and jack recreating the "no, not just girls" scene added 20 years to my life but kit and jack recreating the "no, not just girls" scene added 20 years to my life.

[zeldasnotes]

𝖑𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 🦇

🦇 Lilith in Capricorn wants position & status and can be shamed for demanding the same respect and position as men. Example: Hillary Clinton & Kamala Harris both have this placement. Women are often expected to seek status by being a wife so women with this placement can awake a ”Wtf she think she doing?” reaction in men.

🦇 While Lilith most times shows a strong interest, fascination or even obsession with the sign or house its in or with the themes of the planet it aspects it can also show complete rejection of it & not wanting anything to do with it.

🦇 I dont know why but I never felt the need to be bitchy towards men who have their Lilith on my Moon. I get a ”you are not like other men” feeling with this aspect. They dont trigger my fight or flight response. Something very unique with this synastry aspect.

🦇 A lot of Moon conjunct Lilith people physically resemble the Moon in some way physically. Ive seen a lot of them have Moon shaped eyes or a round face & very rounded features, sometimes super shiny hair.

🦇 Lilith in the 11th house might be fixated with the ”in crowd”. Might hate them but at the same time watch them. Its giving Janis Ian from Mean Girls. They often have a past friendship with someone from the in crowd.

🦇 Lilith can show what you hate in society and feel a strong need to rebel against. Lilith 2nd house might rebel against stuff being done to their body(like vaccines),having to pay taxes, might shoplift and refuse to pay for things that are not their fault they need. Like tampoons for example.

🦇 Ive also noticed with Lilith 7th house people want to find something wrong with your partner or even convince themselves they dont love you. People might say stuff like ”He is only with you bc you have money” or something. Its like people are bothered by seeing you be loved.

🦇 Madonna is a good example of a 7th house Lilith. She is often shamed for liking younger men while its considered normal for men to be with younger women.

🦇 Lilith in Libra and the constant triangle drama??? Triangledrama EVERYWHERE. Why does every guy you meet seem to have a crazy ex or a female friend trying to get him? Or a coworker who wants him? Or a mother who competes with you?

🦇 If you have Sun conjunct Lilith you might represent what your dad dislikes about himself. You represent a part of him that he wants to keep buried deep inside himself and being close to you might remind him too much of this. This can make him your first bully.

🦇 With Lilith in the 2nd house there was often early experiences with money restricting them which lead to an inner bitterness which is often not noticed until you hear them talk about money. The reason they werent noticed by others might have been because they didnt have the clothes, phones, makeup or other material things that others had. The epitome of ”I wasnt ugly, I was just poor”

🦇 I find it interesting how many people with strong Lilith placements Ive seen literally live out the myth by being thrown out of ”the garden of Eden”. Most times thrown out by a friendsgroup, a community or neighbourhood. And this was a huge turning point in their lives.

🦇 Lilith in synastry 🤝 they confessing after 10 years they had a crush on you.

🦇 Lilith in Aries when undeveloped can make them very competetive with others of their gender especially concerning how the body looks. Comparing their bodies to others. Might have a trauma with people comparing their body to someone close to them like a sibling or even their mom growing up.

🦇 Lilith in Aries might also assert themselves and being quiet in the complete wrong situations. Might often end up thinking ”Why didnt I stand up for myself” or ”I shouldnt have overreacted”.

🦇 ”The girl he told you not to worry about” aka the one who touches his Lilith. I hate writing this but Ive seen this sooo much. Men talking shit to their girlfriend(their eve) about a woman they have Lilith synastry with.

🦇 Sun conjunct Lilith is basically like having a flashlight shining on your dark side so that everyone can see.

🦇 Lilith dominant women(women with a dominant Lilith energy in their chart no nobody is saying its your dominant planet omg) often get blamed for a mans lust for them. Might hear stuff like ”you were looking at him” ”you seduced him”.

🦇 Lilith reminds me of Saturn a little in the way that you need to learn to handle the energy which is hard but when you do it you will be so powerful and own that energy.

🦇 Having Lilith harshly aspecting Sun or Ascendant is getting shit whatever you do. Especially when its the square or opposition. Someone comes up to you and hits you in the face, people will call you crazy and aggressive if you hit back and a pussy if you dont hit back.

🦇 Lilith in the 8th house needs to understand that some things cant be controlled/hold onto. They often experienced situations in their youth where they were powerless.

🦇 Lilith in Virgo can be gossips because of their strong need to criticize. They need to say whats wrong with stuff. This can results in some verbal attacks and some very strong opinions on people.

🦇 LILITH CONJUNCT VENUS IN SYNASTRY: can mean Lilith shouldnt be attracted to Venus. Venus might not even be their type but Lilith will find them beautiful anyways. This can be very confusing for the Lilith person because Venus represent everything they shouldnt like or arent allowed to like. Lilith might be from a rich family and Venus is from a poor family for example. Can also be an age difference especially where the woman is older and the guy younger so its considered taboo. This one will be painful if Venus is in love with Lilith because Lilith often see Venus as someone socially unacceptable in some way. (10th house synastry can change this tho, because if yall have 10th house synastry he will want to parade you around like a damn trophy LOLLL). Lilith might want Venus as their side chick. They also always seem to bump into eachother when the Lilith person is in a relationship.

©️ 2024 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved

[medium-rare-bimbo]

Thinking about thoughts

♡Masterlist♡

MINORS DNI

May contain Dubcon, age gap, dark characters, somnophilia, stepcest

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ readmore ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

♡ sucking steve and Billy's cocks when they've just finished their basketball practice they suffocate you in their balls

"God you're fucking disgusting bet you're getting off on this arent you?"

"Billy be nice shes too dumb to care about a little bit of sweat"

♡ eddie would bite your boobs </3 would probably make your nipples bleed then flick them through your shirt

♡ I love the whole "stuck in the washing machine" porn plot <3 maybe you hosted a small get together at your house (Nancy, robin, eddie, steve, Jonathan, billy, argyle) and you quickly decide that you need to grab something from your room. Its stored at the back of your bed so you have no other choice but to crawl underneath to get it, unfortunately your bed frame decides to fall just as you were pulling out leaving you stuck with your back arched. Thankfully your friends hear your yells and come to help you but not before they have some fun with you first, you're covered in cum and spit by the end. Your cunt all puffy swollen and sore but your night doesnt end there because they soon find out that they cant Lift the bed :((( meaning they have to call for help, big strong hopper shows up and stretches you out even more but eventually pulls you out from beneath the crushed bed.

♡ billy would 110% fuck you then take pictures of you just to show to his teammates (who tried to flirt with you) that you were his

♡ •whoever• helping there favourite cheerleader stretch, pressing your legs to you chest as they repeatedly hit that special spot that makes you feel all gooey inside

♡ rockstar! eddie fucking you on stage 👁👁

♡ billy/eddie making you cry just so they can wipe your tears and jerk off with them. They're being so mean to you, tears are streaming down your cheeks and dripping onto their cock

♡ mrs wheeler had a bad date night and comes home wine drunk, you're having a sleepover with nancy (whose already asleep) you stumble into the kitchen for a glass of water when you hear her enter. You're not sure how you ended up with her red lipstick smudged between your thighs or your swollen, juice soaked lips but you're not complaining especially when she invites you over the next day

♡ robin really likes your boobs. Almost in a obsessive kinda way. Theyre always so sore and bruised from how much she sucks on them, there are small crescent moon shaped cuts from where she squeezes them aswell as finger shaped marks. Shes always so sorry when you whine in pain as struggle to put your bra on choosing to just pull your shirt on without the wired piece of fabric, her apologies are insincere as she cant help but gawk at your chest and your hardened nipples. It's a win her book

♡ steve x bimbo! reader who loves skating !! He always sees you in your mini skirts and roller skates but can never seem to get the opportunity to talk to you that is until you come into family video looking for some elvis movie for your grandma, despite his charm and flattery you're too dumb to understand his flirting and brush him off he assumed  you were playing hard to get and Almost like clock work youd come in every week to return and rent a new movie then indirectly reject him. Steve had gotten tired of the schedule you had both fallen into when he decided to ask you directly

"Are you not interested in me or something? Am I getting the wrong signals? Because everytime i try to flirt with you, you just ignore it.  Arr you ju- just not into men? Or-"

"Oh my god! I didnt know you were flirting with me silly! like I dont think you ever said something in a flirty way. And by the way as much as I love women I also totally love men maybe not as much but that's not important. You know if I had known you were flirting I would've soo gone out with you I mean-"

He coudlnt believe his ears, you didnt know he was flirting with you? He used the most obvious pick up lines

"W-wait what do you mean you didnt know I was flirting with you?"

"Well it's not like you asked me to bend over so how was I supposed to know?"

"...I dont think that's flirting"

You felt so bad for him :((( you couldnt believe how dumb you were for not realising sooner </3 luckily for Steve his break was soon which gave you a chance to make up for it, although the storage room was not the ideal place for you to be on your knees you couldnt find a thought to care.

♡ eddie would bite your pussy. Nobody else will say it but he would be devouring your cunt then bite you

♡ breeding kink! With dark! Steve!!! Hed fuck you anytime he gets the chance, bent over the sink? Boom cock in you, in the shower? Boom filled, when you sleep? BOOM BOOM BOOM COCK

♡ sucking on man titties 👁👁

♡ hehe flayed billy making you eat ice before you suck him off because he likes the cold

♡ hopper cucking Phil!! Fucks his pretty lil wife right in front of him, hes tied up with a cock ring !!!! Hopper threatens to knock you up and claim you !!!

♡ argyle jerking off infront of you <3<3 you're getting high in the back of his van and he cant help but get turned on by the look of you, you've always been close and in the drug induced haze you cant help but let him stroke himself especially when he asks so nicely

♡ nancy has so many toys its insane, shes also very adamant about using them on you

♡ eddie in panties!!!! Eddie in panties!! MY PRETTY BOY!!! dont think this means hes going to be submissive for you if anything he gets meaner maybe he makes you wear them after he gets all his cum smeared on the inside

♡ stepdad hopper fingering you under the table at dinner !!! His thick fingers sliding against your gummy walls, he sucks off your juices playing it off as him enjoying his food

♡ billy pulls your pussy apart just to spit on it before eating, sometimes smacks your clit too just so see it swell up, likes forcing his fingers into you so he can feel how you try to push him out. Hes probably tattooed his name on to your mound

♡ eddie pretends to pray before spitting on your clit, he uses his pointer finger to move his salvia around maybe nibbles at it too. He just likes watching your hips jerk towards him, gets him worked up to know that only he can please you

♡ steve kisses your clit but not just a simple peck this man makes out with your clit !!! He sucks and swirls his tongue around it practically forces his faces as close as he can get. He loves tasting you, he loves knowing that you juices linger on him

♡ argyle loves stretching your pussy apart to watch your hole clench around nothing. He thinks your cunt is the prettiest thing hes ever seen and could spend forever looking at it. He eats you out slowly trying to prolong leaving his space between you thighs, his lips are swollen by the end and his face is covered in your juices

♡ Jonathan kisses your clit before going down on you, his mouth is all over you and hes constantly lapping up the juices that spill out of you. His fingers are buried inside of you and are moving from your hole to his mouth

♡ hopper is mean and spits on you aswell as spanks your poor cunt. He fingers you so expertly that you feel like you're in heaven, his mouth never leaves your clit and you're all sensitive the next morning from his moustache. He prolongs your orgasms until your screaming and crying for release

♡ nancy is also mean </3 she gets you on the floor and presses her foot into you covered pussy, she makes it seem like such a hassle to eat you out but her actions contradict as shes always pulling down you panties to press you against her mouth

♡ 001 is the worst of the worst that man loves watching you wither in whatever pain mixed pleasure he gives you, hes so mean and always bites and pinches your clit. You rarely get to cum when he goes down on you, only granting you permission when you're wrapped around his cock

♡ robin is in awe everytime she gets to taste you, shes constantly looking up at you as you whine and moan. Shes spent hours training herself to know your weak spots, she makes you cum so many times that you can barely keep your eyes open. She loves looking at your fucked out face and wet thighs

♡ chrissy is so sweet!! When the rest of the cheerleaders have left the locker room and have gone home you're both left alone. You're feeling bad about not perfecting a move and she has to make sure you're feeling good. She takes her time with you making sure you feel loved, she has you sat on a bench with her kneeling on the ground. Shes suffocating herself between your thighs and she wouldnt have it any other way

♡ innocent(?) Reader wants to know if cocks can get hickeys, luckily her boyfriend/bestfriend is willing to help in her experiment

♡ mean girl! Bimbo! Reader calls dark! Eddie's friendgroup "a bunch of virgin incels" he corners her and forces her into the hellfire room. He then shows her how much of a "virgin incel" he is

♡ prince! Steve,  banished! Eddie, rival! Prince! Billy, royal painter! Jonathan (no cameras so hes a painter now) royal cook! Argyle, king! hopper, princess! Nancy, royal advisor! Robin x maid! Reader (maybe not all at once but the thoughts are there)

♡ mechanic! Scumbag! Eddie who always says theres something wrong with bimbo! Readers car just so he can see her, he always gets under the car when youre wearing your infamous mini skirts. Hes so nice to you and you get him lunch when hes been working so hard <3<3 his only desired payment is your tight warm hole <3<3<3<3<3<3

♡ 001 getting obsessed with Billy's girlfriend after he possesses him <3<3 hunts you down after billy is killed, traps you in the creel house to be his housewife

♡ hopper breed me challenge, want to be his dumb personal fleshlight whose only good for being his house wife

♡ argyle hate fucking dominos worker! Reader

♡ perv! eddie has a set of dice that has been blessed by your pussy, thinking innocent! reader wanted to know how to play dnd and goes to eddie only for him to get carried away and just stuffing you with dice. Probably got bored and somehow convinced you to get on his lap, he held your down as he rubbed your clit as he forced the 20 sided die inside of you. He keeps a die on him at all times tucked away in his jeans, it's his good luck charm the rest get stored next to his bedside table where he kisses them goodbye before hellfire

♡ mrs wheeler boobs in my mouth please !!!!!! Got a vibrator pressed against eachother, she calls me her little baby and I just AEAKSBWON

♡ being Jonathan's girlfriend and coming to meet his parents only to be face first in Joyce's pussy with hoppers fat cock in your womb <3<3<3

♡ innocent(?)! Stalker! Reader takes pictures of herself naked, posed on her teddy pair, in her cotton panties, in the shower, fingers deep in her cunt just so she can give them to her favourite people. Thankfully shes always wore long skirts and baggy cardigans so nobody can trace back whose body it is

♡ I'm still not a furry but I 170% believe that eddie needs a bunny girlfriend (aka me)

♡ vampire eddie chasing down nymph! Fairy! reader to have his way with her

♡ bear! Hopper fucking bunny! Reader over fallen tree maybe it's just regular hopper and his fairy/nymph! Fuck toy

♡ AAAAA dark! Eddie coming home after a bad day finding you sleeping on the couch, he needs relief and you're the perfect thing. He climbs on top of you fucking you awake with his pierced cock.

♡ billy cums on your pussy before the day starts just so your cunt gets nice and moisturized with his seed

♡ eddie walks around the trailer with his hand down his pants he says it's to keep them warm but hes really just touching himself

♡ picnic in the woods where I just get fucked dumb and fed fruit <3 taken back to a cabin where I'm all warm and naked near the fire <3<3<3<3<3<3

♡ 👁👁 Murray keeping nymph! Reader as a pet as much as he likes his strange horny creature he cant keep up with your stamina so calls for backup from his good ol friend hopper

[serotonins-stuff]

I have a Bakugou x fem! reader request if you’re willing!

so reader is really smart but disguises it at school because she’s afraid people (especially boys) will think she’s stuck-up and unattractive. But Bakugou sees through her act and likes how smart she is and asks her out in his own Bakugou way.

Preferably fluff but suggestive bc Bakugou is turned on by smart women ;)

thanks!

Smartass | K•Bakugo

Includes : Fluff

Warnings : none

A/n: Apologies for only getting to the requests months later :), I've got quite slot on my schedule.

Exhaustion wouldn't even be able to explain how you felt after an all nighter, studying your ass off for a biology test after all you've done the past week is hang out with your friends who could care less about good grades.

Being in this highschool meant that you would be classified as a nerd if anyone knew about the lengths you go through for a perfect score, so naturally you did everything you could to avoid that.

You never bragged or showed anyone your scores, you never raised your hand in class even if your mind was tearing you apart for knowing the answer, and because of this no one had gotten suspicious of your actions because you were sure to attract as little attention towards yourself as possible.

Though, at least that's what you thought.

You were convinced that you fooled everyone but, unbeknownst to you, there was always someone watching you from the corner of your eye.

Bakugo Katsuki, the only person in your class who found your behavior suspicious.

Occasionally he would pass by while you're talking to your friends in the hall and overhear you claim that you didnt study for the test. Though it would be a different story when he got a glance of your perfect score from where he sat behind you.

Today was no different, because as soon as you got your paper you flipped it upside down before a look of dissapproval crossed your features. It made his blood boil. Why would someone as smart as you not want to show off their skills to the world?

"We're going to have a class project" The teacher spoke out, "As you all know we're going to the aquarium next week-."

Various complains could be heard by some of the students and you tried to refrain from showing your excitement.

The idea of biology made you feel giddy inside. You were just imagining how calming it would be like to be in the presence of so much aquatic life, in the dimmly lit hues of the water cascading all around the building.

"As I was saying.." She cleared her throat and everyone went silent. "I'm going to be putting you in pairs"

Your heart dropped.

She had to be joking right?. The people in your class had to be the laziest people you had ever met in your life, and there was no way you were going to be stuck with them for a whole day.

Every group project you've been in, there would always be only one person who did the the work, while the others would slack off, and that person was you.

Nobody ever handed their assignments in on time or even took it the slightest bit of interest. You played along with their act, fearing that they'd judge you for being a goody two shoes if you spoke up. In your own time you'd sit by yourself to finish the project and of course they'd take all the credit. They always take the credit.

A pair of hands slammed down on your desk and you flinched.

"You dreaming in class?" He scoffed, staring you down with his crimson eyes, His face held a neutral expression, and could feel from his aura that he was trying to read you.

"Katsuki Bakugo" you said in acknowledgement, averting your eyes from his to break the somewhat intense staredown.

"Y/n L/n" he tilted his head, not once looking away from your face. "Pair up with me"

You looked at him with shock, was this the same Bakugo who always wanted to work by himself because 'everyone else is weak', now standing at your table demanding you to work with him?

You never really spoke to him in class, but often you'd find yourself staring at him whenever you had hero training. He was always so focused and well calculated. On the battle field he's better than you in every aspect.

He was smart, possibly even smarter you, so why did he need you on his team when he'd just fine by himself?

"Um, why me?" You you're voice wavered.

"You're one of the only idiots in this class who actually put in the effort"

Your eyes widened and you stared at him to search for any sign that he was joking, but he wasn't. Could this mean that he was one of the people that actually acknowleded your hard efforts?

"What you're what you're talking abo-"

He cut you off before rolling his eyes. "You can't pull that clueless act shit on me and you know that."

You avertes your gaze and he continued. "You get a perfect score on almost every test, yet you don't tell anyone that cause you don't wan em to know you're a smartass."

He would rather much have to work with you than the other people in the class, considering you always take the number two spot regarding academics. He's always right ahead of you, scowling in first place, but hell- even he had to admit that there was nothing hotter than a smart woman. If anything he wanted to see this smartness up close, test the limits, and see just how much of your intelligence you were hiding from everyone else.

Don't get him wrong, he loved getting first place, though it wasn't really worth it if his opponents weren't going to give him a challenge. He wanted to fight for his place, give blood his blood sweat and tears for it.

And what better way to do that then get his academic rival pumped up?

You sighed in defeat and he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. "We'll have to do research, you free after school?"

He looked away slightly bashful as your fingers brushed against his to type in your number.

"Yeah I am, did you have any place in mind?"

"The cafe two blocks down, afterschool" he said abruptly and turned to leave but stopped when you spoke.

"I don't know where that is" you said softly.

"I'll walk you there after school" he replied, a tiny hint of nervousness coming from his voice.

He needed to end this conversation or else he was gonna end up looking like a tomato from all of this blushing. He practiced this conversation a million times in his head and even that wasn't enough to prepare him. Hearing your voice address him did things to him that nobody would ever understand. The look of your sweet gaze directed to him was more than he could ever ask for.

This class project was a great excuse for him to get to know you better, but you didn't need to know that.

It would've been embarrassing if you noticed him acting all weird, but luckily you were too trappped in your own little world to notice.

•••

A/n. (again) : Focused on getting requests out :)

See you all on Friday.

[capricosalvation]

Young Cathleen Bate x Fem!Reader

After yesterday's poll, i Made this thinking about a Young Cathleen dressed in the uniform With a bike, heavily 80's inspired "Take my breath away" kinda thing. Both Of You Are +18 in this fic, but there is no smut.

—°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°—

Cathleen and you have something going on for a while... And no one noticed...Its a relief, both of you have religious parents, but at the same time, the thrill it's interesting to Say at least..

You were coming out of your university when you saw your girlfriend waiting for You, standing in her military outfit close to her motorbike, She looked badass!

Cathy seems to have some bandages in her face...

"Don't worry too much for it, babe... It was just a quirkless combat with Ethan" - she cooed, caressing your soft right cheek.

"Babe You look like a beaten up banana at this point, i'm worried" - Y/N pouted, altrought humoring Cathy, she was worried "i think you shouldn't go that hard, cant imagine how Ethan looks compared to You"

"Nahh, It was part of the exercise! He was holding back on Me, I insisted him going full Power" - She brushed it off with a smile, but when she tried to smile she ended up wincing in pain.

"I'm being serious, don't overwork yourself." - The worried girl crossed her arms, raising her head to look at her secret girlfriend seriously.

But Y/N didnt knew that Cathleen was having a bad day already, and was trying to not burst up at the minimun pressure "Listen, I might not be the Best cadet yet, but I'm not a child anymore, please don't treat me like one, I'm a full grown adult" - She was being hard headed again... Y/N could tell this was a sensitive matter for her, and She didnt wanted to make scene in the University entrance.

She huffed, not wasting saliva in what would be a public discussion, Cathleen sitted on the motorbike looking at Y/N without a word, just a cold face that if it spoke it would say "get on, no questions"

Y/N complied sitting and hugging Cathleen for security, but at the same time, that hig was showing her concern. Cathleen revved the bike, who roared back to life, soon they left University grounds and drive towards her parents house.

Cathleen's parents werent at Home, neither her Sister. They went to visit Cathleen's grandparents, Y/N knew that because of Cathleen's rants about wanting to go with them... But She couldnt. She had to sacrifice that in order to be the Best.

The women arrived to the cadet's Home, a large, fancy condo, she got off the bike, and took off her helmet, and then turned to look at you "They went to see our grandparents for the weekend , but don't worry, they know you, they told me you could come In whenever you wanted" - she said in a tired tone, she realized that Y/N didnt deserve her anger, so She took her secret lover's hand, guiding her to the cadet's house, lo later enter to her room.

Cathleen's room was filled With All Might pictures and posters of planes. A photo With little Cathy posing happily in All Might's arms was proudly showed in her nightstand. Y/N sat on the bed, downhearted about what happened before, the blonde hero aspirant closed the door. Taking off her jacket... Y/N gasped, Cathleen was beaten up, purple and red bruises collored her fair skin, she looked at You with a mix of seriousness, whim and... Sadness?

"This is what happens when You want to be the best" - She huffed, agitated "To be like him, i need to be strong" - she was being hard headed... Again

"All Might Isnt strong all the time!" - Y/N said, her voice trembling "Because he's a human! YOU don't have to be strong all the time, because YOU'RE human!!!"

"You don't understand, Y/N" - She said, gruff "How can You be the Best in a world of men, 'taking it easy'?" - She said the last Words in a mocking, sarcastic, yet jealous and hurtfull tone. Then She sighed, She was hurting her beloved. "I... I can't help it... W-when you're surrounded by men that are so strong... So powerful... I... I feel weak... I feel useless..." - Cathleen began to sob and tears of anger started to flow from her eyes, she was feeling pathetic... Weak... She wasn't the hero she wanted to be... Cathleen tought herself as a disgrace that didn't deserve that uniform...

Y/N had enough, jumping from the bed to cup her girlfriend's cheeks "You Are NOT weak! You're one Of the Best fucking students!" - She sighed, then kissed her cheek in comprehension "You're a student for Gods sake! A student can't be a Master if they compare themselves all the time!!! Stop pushing yourself!" - that was the last straw for Y/N to get on her tippy toes and kiss Cathleen on the lips.

The bigger woman gasped and hugged the more petite one as they both kissed softly. Cathleen muscly arms hugged her girlfriend's more smaller frame, it felt like it was thanking Y/N with her body languaje. When the sweet kiss ended, the now smiling cadet cupped her girlfriend' cheek, a gesture She always makes.

"I'm sorry doll.. i don't know what happened to me.. i'll make up to You, just wai-.. - she was interrumpted by Y/N kissing the bandage in Cathleen's cheek. "You Are so selfless, Cathy.. that makes You shine like a Star"

At the end of the day, they ended up cuddling on the couch, eating Cathleen favorite gummies. And She couldnt be happier of having Y/N in her life, her little Star...

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Hi guys! I hope You liked it! Please do tell me if i made a typo or grammatical error, i'm always learning. Anyways, if You have a idea for a One Shot like this please write a comment, i appreciate the feedback.

[gizkasparadise]

final leg of a journey to love thoughts!! (eps 35-40). this got so gd long so under a cut it goes. spoilers, of course:

PLOT STUFF/PACING

pacing for the plot definitely got shredded in the last chunk, which is a damn shame because otherwise i've been finding the pacing pretty much perfect. eps 35-37 in particular felt like they could have been like a 10 episode arc. ep 38, which mostly dealt with wu palace politics, should have been cut or streamlined imo and more time given to the characters we've actually been riding along with the whole story. by the time we get back to the pregnant empress, prince danyang, the first prince whose name i dont even remember, and the prime minister, i do not care about any of them and i think this subplot was simply just trying to fit too much shit into one bag

that said, this show still let the emotional moments hit and breathe and linger. i love the grief for the fallen liudao comrades as we go, as well as the less heavy but still emotionally important moments like yang ying and tongguan bonding over their upbringing. and we got a wedding /;3;/!!! for this show, the relationships and characters matter more than the storyline so im not mad about anything at all

side note: it's so gd millennial to have a story about a bunch of 30 something year olds who want to fake their deaths and retire into obscurity but instead they go and die for a boss they hate

CHARACTER STUFF

this show consistently brought a lot of depth to its side characters (and side side characters!!). i said it in an earlier post, but it bears repeating that even someone like deng hui i didnt expect anything from, but he got such good development and writing that he became a stealth fave. his dying words essentially being "dude, quit fucking around" ? iconic.

i didnt like tongguan as much as everyone else, so im pretty meh about everything regarding him. the attempt to force-wed ruyi was tonally really weird and didnt make sense (i assume there was some cuts made surrounding it). but LOL at him reusing all the outfits and decor immediately for his wedding to yang ying. baby duke, you tacky motherfucker. i ultimately think yang ying deserves better than him, but the good thing is that she knows this, so she'll be able to hold her own and then some entering into this partnership

shisan really was the heart in a lot of ways--the mom to yuanzhou's dad for the liudao. i was not expecting him to break my heart the way he did, but the fact that he held both qian zhao and sun lang as they died and then tried his best to remove yuan lu from harm and saved chu yue and was just very much a nurturer all the way through got me. his character couldve been cheap comic relief but the writing + performance really elevated him into one of the (imo) most memorable wuxia characters. his line wondering who would get to behead his beautiful skull!!! and how his mantra was always that he was going to drink the best wine, see the most beautiful women, and make the best of friends and he dies having lost the ability to see and having just had wine in memory of qian zhao, yuan lu, and sun lang. like. shut up!!

ruyi and yuanzhou were both so great and they're gonna be the drama OTP to beat forever. i loved the gender reversals, that they both were so respectful of each other, and that they also felt very mature in how they handled things and communicated. they were really interesting characters both together and apart and that's always a win-win. they had a schroedinger's ending where it's not super clear if they're alive or dead (i interpreted it as the latter), but what's kind of beautiful is that either option is satisfying to me. if they both died, they're reunited and with their comrades and the story is truly about the journey and the meaningful short connections we have. if they both survived, it's a bookend with the beginning where they each faked their deaths to escape. A+

COSTUMING

i gotta just separately mention the costuming for this show because it was 15/10. the textures, shisan's accessories, the way red became integrated with yuanzhou's wardrobe and blue with ruyi's. the details on the liudao name amulets!! SO GOOD. i love when characters' clothes tell a story on their own

overall i just really loved this drama it is probably my favorite wuxia ive seen so far! it's gonna be in my brain for awhile lol feel free to send fic prompts if you've made it this far :'D

[rainbowpui]

"SJ abused many talented disciples"

But it wasn't mentioned anywhere other than SY's chapters and I dont trust SY's pov on SJ especially not when he thought that SJ SA-ed NYY,SJ was in love with QHT, killed LQG and helped LBH to kill YQY.

LITERALLY SY is an unreliable narrator. he THINKS he knows everything about PIDW but most of what he thought at the beginning of the novel gets disproved. its... literally an important plot point that SY makes problems for himself bc hes too hung up on what he THINKS he knows about the characters. But like..... 99% of this is shown to be wrong....

in fact... realizing that almost everything he thought about sj is wrong.... is part of what makes him realize that what he has been thinking about LBH has been wrong too. why would we have to take his word from the START OF THE NOVEL about that when he discover he was wrong about everything else?

when sy wakes up all of sj's disciples were crowded around him worried and wanting for their shizun to wake up (except lbh). that.. doesnt exactly make me feel like they all hate him.

sy claims that sj was a lecher who lusted after his students..... but when we actually see sj's pov it turns out he isnt going to the brothels for sex but because thats the only place he can feel comfortable away from men bc of his trauma. we know its canon that he cares for nyy bc sy literally uses sj's care for her as a way to get around ooc and help lbh, but theres literally nothing to imply his affection is sexual in nature. sj saves qht and drags her away from the fire bc he feels indebted to her for being his only escape from the abuse by the other members of her household, not bc hes in love with her. even when saving her puts him in danger bc thats a loose end that can and does come back to bite him. tbh i cant say its canon that hes gay.... but he certainly doesnt seem to show any interest in women and gives "all of his loyalty" to another man and waits for him like a maiden waiting for her lover to return lol

we learn in the sqh extras that not only did sj not kill lqg in the caves but he tried to save him and just failed that time. we literally SEE sj save lqg on the mission with sqh and then get embarrassed and not even ask for credit for it.

sy blames sj for "killing yqy" but when we see the 79 extras.... he literally tries to push him away and tells him to leave when hes captured so that yqy stays safe and literally mentions that when he was FORCED BY LBH to write the letter he tried to make it obvious that its a trap. why is sj being blamed for lbh killing yqy just to hurt him???? sy CLAIMS to know everything about PIDW but literally the point mxtx is making by showing that sy is wrong about everything about sj.... is that maybe he doesnt know as much as he thinks... he thinks that lbh was the cause of the jinlani city plague as well and THAT is wrong too. (it was actually..... sy's fault. for releasing zzl.. OOPS.)

I dont care if he THOUGHT sj was like that at the start of the novel. hes not actually a reliable source!! esp at the start sj definitely DID abuse lbh. i dont think most sj stans will deny that or pretend that what he did was right. but.... we dont actually see him treat any other disciples poorly. if anything sy is the one making everyone else run laps and teaching them nothing to the point that sqh mentions that the disciples turn from "scholars" into "adhd children".... sy HIMSELF admits that its a good thing sj taught his students enough that they can basically run the sect on their own so that he can be lazy and do nothing and delegate to everyone else. i imagine that he might have been a bit strict as a teacher to the other students but thats not the same as abusing all of them. its literally just lbh he had an issue with

sometimes i feel like ppl didnt even read the same book when they take everything sy says at face value. hes a flawed character who is forced to rethink all the things he thought about BOTH sj AND lbh after witnessing sj's backstory makes him realize..... he cant actually assume he knows everything about these characters just bc he read PIDW. SQH himself admits that the sv universe is based on his rough draft, NOT on the dumbed down version that he was forced to write for the $$$ that sy ended up reading

somehow ppl can admit that sy was wrong about other characters but not about sj even when we see him proven wrong on screen??? its really strange... sj did SOME things wrong but not 99% of the shit ppl accuse him of

[bit-of-a-nerd]

What Mike’s Room Means About Byler

we’ve all talked and hear about mike’s rooms queercoding. people talk a lot about the posters, which have two things: fantasy and men. men is obvious queercoding when you look at other characters rooms. the lack of women is interesting when making the case that hes gay not bi. but theres something that people dont talk a lot about

mike and el have a very strong sci-fi coding. that makes sense, its a sci-fi show, and their biggest season together was the season based as an homage to classic 80’s sci-fi films. creators have made comparisons to et, her powers in s1 had a strong “alien” vibe from sci-fi, and imagery with things like star wars. 

however, byler has a strong fantasy coding. their first scene (both at all, but also their first one on one scene) had to do with dnd (fantasy game). this coding does go away for a bit in s2 when dnd takes a bit of a backseat (except for dustin coining the name of the mind flayer). but its back again in full force for s3. their major s3 fight (with TONS of queer mike coding and byler coding in general) was after the failed dnd game. will’s dnd game had some of the most pure fantasty vibes that we’ve seen of st dnd games.  the music he used, the costuming, the village all screamed medieval fantasy. 

not to mention dnd used to point towards mikes conformity. him leaving it in s3 is a sign of conformity, but him returning shows him starting to embrace himself. his costuming at rink o mania show’s thats not fully the case, pointing towards something else being the root of the conformity. then one of the (if not the) biggest byler scene, and the crux of what will be a major byler focused plot point, is will’s painting and the van scene. the painting? A FANTASY DND FIGHT! there’s a reason people love cleradin au’s and love the ship names cleradin and wiseheart. because dnd, and by extent fantasy, are woven into byler.

so keeping all that in mind, lets talk about rooms. rooms are usually a place for self expression. posters and things that express who you are and your interests. we've seen the duffers use rooms to express this in the past. but, they’ve also used rooms to show attraction. we dont see the second point much in mikes season 1 room, but we see the first. his room is a reflection of his nerdy interests and his friends mainly (also closet imagery!!!). but now that hes growing into a teenager it makes sense that we would begin to see the second part when we finally get his room again in s4. 

so: interests, we see his fantasy posters and his guitar. his fantasy posters line back up with his participation in hellfire. not TONS there, but some signals to him adopting eddies style due to some facsination/hero worship/crush(???) of the guy (an example being the guitar).

but attraction is where his room gets REALLY interesting. he has MULTIPLE posters of shirtless men. his one way sign to the closet. does more need to be said? it does. because attraction to men and being closeted, doesn’t mean much for being in relationships. (again bi people do exist!! he could be closeted and still in love with his gf)

In this scene he’s reading a letter from his girlfriend, in their ‘perfect’ relationship, their sci-fi coded relationship. so, even with the attraction to men coded, maybe the duffers didnt see the need to recode his female attraction, they just added coding of his relationship into his room, right? he might just not be the guy to have a shrine to his partner, he might just be more subtle?

except all the posters are more fantasy leaning. which is a different genre from scifi. his room does not point towards his relationship with el. but we fantasy is the coding behind his and will’s relationship. the same relationship that in their time apart he’s somehow managed to start acting weirder around his best friend, and feel the need to assert that they. are. just. friends. the same friend who just got confirmed in love with mike, and is now a love interest. 

I know theres been a lot of talk about mikes room but people haven’t really talked about the fantasy aspect, or bylers fantasy coding and mlvns sci-fi coding. I think it’s a lot more important than people are giving it credit for. 

[shoyoist]

— 𝟎𝟏:𝟒𝟒 𝐀𝐌 : hanma shuji.

thinking of shuji being an ardent lover of classic lit ♡ ~

on some nights, when he arrives at meetings a little earlier than scheduled — or on nights where he has to remain at headquarters long after meetings are over, hanma likes to head up to the top floor's longue, a hard cover copy of fyodor dostoevsky's crime and punishment in one hand.

he takes a seat on the sofa placed at the corner of the room, crossing one leg over the other and glancing out at the view provided by the glass office wall. the city blinks down at him, gradually getting darker, as the hours tick by and the lights start to go out.

the warm lighting of the room is sufficient for him to read easily, and sometimes, kisaki will have already turned the record on, leaving a disk from Queen's platinum collection playing in the background.

the atmosphere is quiet, relaxing and peaceful. hanma likes it, just as much as he enjoys clamour, chaos and catastrophe.

he opens the book, the cover and pages smooth between his large hands, and flips over to where he's placed the bookmark, and starts to read.

and really, he looks so elegant — poised and handsome, in his pinstriped suit that shows of his tall, muscled frame, with his coiffed hair and his gold-framed glasses that sit on the bridge of his nose as his eyes follow each word, narrowing in interest despite the fact that he's read the book about seven times already.

on some other nights, it's pride and prejudice, by jane austen. or les miserables, by victor hugo. even wuthering heights, by emily brontë.

but on nights like these when he's been away from you, his sweet little lover, for too long — when he misses you, when he yearns for your touch or to hear your voice over the phone, but knows that you're asleep at this time; he picks up crime and punishment.

why? because the first time he'd read this book, it was after you had gifted him a copy of it for his 24th birthday.

though hanma has always been interested in classic lit, it was on the outskirts, when he was younger.

he had read a few of the most popular novels, like little women, the great gatsby, and he even owned a paperback of american psycho (despite how the shopkeeper at the bookstore had warned him not to purchase it, thinking him just a young teen looking to find something dark to read).

he wasnt really one to care about his image, but he didnt exactly let many people know that he spent evenings and nights sitting around with his eyes glued to books about love, war and all that lies in between. it was a little secret, of sorts.

until he met you.

now, he has multiple collections of hardbacks of all his favourite novels, shelved in both his office and in his home that he shares with you. he buys the publications that come in the prettiest covers, collects audio books, and owns copies of every good movie adaptation.

and the hardback of crime and punishment he's reading right now? with the time ticking towards 01:30 in the middle of the night, as he waits for kisaki to be done with whatever unfinished business he's got before he can drive them back to their hotel — he's reading the book you'd gifted him.

when you'd discovered that he liked reading, and when you'd found out that despite it he had missed out on reading fyodor's famous novel, you'd sought out to get it for him.

on the second page, the one where only the title is printed out in bold letters at the center, after the page where the disclaimers and publication information are printed — there's a lipstick kiss on the top left corner.

happy birthday, my shuji. i love you!! written under the kiss, signed off with your name, in red pen.

the sin and punishment tattoos on his hands weren't influenced by the book, not really.

but you'd made that connection, knowing that he had the tattoos and knowing that he read classic eng lit, and when you'd gifted him the book, it was enough for him to favourite the story and have every line from it memorized, reading them over and over again.

and he's already highlighted, with a pen that came in a pale shade of red, the lines — "yet in their absence, i seemed to love them so much."

it's not the right context, and hanma knows that — but each time he passes the line, when reading through part 3 of chapter 3, he thinks of you.

he loves you so much, his heart aches. especially on nights like these, when he's bored out of his mind after a long day, tired but still held up in the office till the moon peaks and sinks down the sky, as the hours go by.

nights where he would do anything to be asleep, under the covers with your bare skin flush with his, your warmth melding with his own. his arms around you, your scent in his lungs, his lips against the back of your neck.

but he cant, so he sits on the sofa at the corner of the top floor's lounge and reads, until kisaki comes looking for him.

he's absorbed into the pages, dismissing the footsteps as they approach because he knows who it is without paying attention to them — and he only looks up, when his partner in crime switches off the music and clears his throat.

"oh hey, tetta." hanma grins, looking up, amber eyes glinting softly in the light. "time to go?"

"yes." kisaki answers, eyes skirting over to read the title of the book hanma holds, before he turns around to leave. hanma stands up, switches off the lamp on the desk beside the sofa, and follows.

the faint lights of the nighttime city outside pool into the now-dark room, throwing gentle shadows onto the floor as they walk across it.

kisaki is smart, but he doesnt need to be to figure this one out. he's picked up on hanma's little habit of resorting back to that same copy of crime and punishment, when he starts to miss you too much.

it's one of the only predictable things hanma ever does.

so he says, nonchalantly, as they wait for the elevator to make it up to their floor. "hanma. i think you'll be able to take some time off, soon."

"oh, really?" hanma turns his head to look down at kisaki, as his boss looks straight ahead, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his regular briefcase. "we're nearly done with this one?"

"yeah." kisaki says. "you'll get to go home next week."

and hanma smiles. he knows you're asleep, and that you probably fell asleep with your phone close to you as you lay on your side of the bed, scrolling aimlessly through it till your weariness overtook you — he knows there's a chance you would wake up, disturbed by the notification, if he sends you a message.

but he feels warm inside, and he cant help it. he slips his phone out of his pocket, as the elevator dings and opens up, and he follows kisaki inside.

contrary to his worries, your phone is on the nightstand tonight.

you'll only see it when you wake up the next morning, but your phone lights up in the darkness of your bedroom, signalling a new message.

⠀⠀⠀— [01:44 AM] shuji : miss you, babydoll. i'll be home soon ♡

[byyliss]

Cellbit's PDF and asexuality

So, i've read Cellbit's PDF and let me just say, i genuenly almost criend, my throat hurt after reading it. Btw, this is gonna talk about sexual assault and abuse, so please dont read it if you arent confortable with it.

Context in case anyone doesnt know:

Cellbit is a former youtuber and now twitch streamer from Brazil, whos now participating on the international minecraft server. And for the last 7 years, his ex girlfriend Sasa, has been posting on twitter about how he was abusive and a piece of shit. And recently, she made a huge and serious accusation that he had sexually abused her. And this prompted him to finally come out and show the proof that she was lying this while time, by writing a 19 page long pdf that is available on his twitter account.

My thoughts:

As someone that is still trying to figure out my sexuality (I genuenly believe im asexual but i dont feel confortable labelling myself just yet), reading his story hurt, so fucking much. I know what is like not being interested in sex and having people (in his case, Sasa) invalidate your feelings and make you doubt yourself, making you think you need to be fixed and something is wrong. I've also suffered sexual assault so this hit even harder. I've identified so much with his feelings regarding sex.

This guy has been shit on for YEARS, because he kept quiet about it. That was the main reason people didnt like him, so to know now that this snake of a woman was just lying and making herself the victim. That she was coercing him to have sex, that she cheated in all of her relationships and made them the bad guys. Its sick. Shes a disturbing individual, a monster.

Lets not forget that her attitude is why so many actual victims of SA arent believed in. She and many women like her, are part of the problem. Women like you, Sasa, are disgusting.

And she responded btw, with a 55 second story about how she doesnt like exposing people and that she will take this to court. When its her turn to get shit on, she runs like a coward.

Disgusting

[an-theduckin]

can you ramble about the present head man episode?

OH MY GOD YES YES YES OFC THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS I LOVE U I AM GONNA MAKE COOKIES FOR YOU.

So the episode starts off with letting us know that Argos takes pride in his job as the welcoming committee, let's put a pin on this info cuz I'll come back to this later.

So the thing I found weird about that episode was why Argos didnt think of the possibility that the presents head might just be the present and isn't inside a present. Like literally everyone else in the void has like an object head, so why didn't that thought even cross his mind? Maybe because present guy didn't have any facial features? But I'm pretty sure there's other void members who don't have facial features too.

As the episode goes on we see him gets more and more curious about it, even though he knew that it wasn't his business ("I know, its none of my business!" Said by Argos to Mr plant) he becomes more desperate to see what's inside, that becomes everything he ever thinks about. He couldn't even get his mind off that while babysitting. And then he snapped, and finally went there. I don't think he even spend time going back home and stuff, I think he went there directly from his babysitting job, cuz he hit him with an abc book (probably got it for babysitting the kids) to knock him out.

We can see that he was self aware and apologetic, but he just couldn't help the curiosity that was growing more and more. This can be seen in the quote "I know, its none of my business!" Said by him to Mr plant, and can also see this because he said "I'm sorry about this" to the present guy before hitting him. He knows that he wasn't doing the right thing, he knows he shouldn't do this. But he can't help himself, he was getting desperate for answers.

I REALLY REALLY LOVE HOW ASHUR PORTRAYS HIS GUILT IN HIS FACE LIKE AHHH THAT PART IS SOOO SATISFYING. IM A DRAMA STUDENT AND THAT IS JUST FANTASTIC ACTING I WISH I COULD STEAL HIS ACTING SKILLS. I LOVE THE WAY HIS HANDS SLIGHTLY SHAKES WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT IT WASNT A MASK AND HE JUST KILLED AN INNOCENT MAN. NOT JUST ANY MEN, GOING BACK TO THE POINT WE MADE AT THE BEGINNING, HE KILLED THE MAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP. HE TOOK PRIDE IN THIS JOB, BUT BECAUSE OF THAT JOB HE NOW HAS BLOOD ON HIS HANDS. LIKE UGHHH I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS EPISODE.

Also also I find it interesting how when Argos imagines of what might be inside the present, he thinks "a telephone, an old boot, a smile". Like why would he think of objects (and a concept) if the reason he's so curious is cuz his head is a present, which is an object? Also I feel like the objects might be symbolic of smth and I'm not really sure what but I'm gonna go full ramble mode and just pull out bullshit outta my ass now.

Telephones represent communication, this could be reflective on the fact that Mr present died because they didn't communicate (he didn't answer argos's question when he asked why there's a present on his head). If he had told him that his head isn't inside the present and it is the present, he probably wouldn't have died. So lack of communication is a factor in his death.

An 'old boot' is a slang for "an ugly or disliked women". Ignoring the women and disliked part, being 'ugly' kinda contributed into his death as well? Cuz Argos couldn't realise that this was just how he looked like, and thought he looked like something else (that is inside the present). Also, boots can symbolize being natural or earthy. This reflects on why Mr present died, because Argos didn't think that having a present as a head was natural. So this is also a factor in his death.

A smile. The last two things were objects, but this one is a concept. It obviously represents happiness and joy, maybe this could show how Argos thought he'd be more satisfied and happy if he knew what Mr present was hiding inside his present. So this is also a factor for his death.

I HOPE THAT MADE SENSE LMAO IM NOT EXACTLY GOOD AT EXPLAINING. ALSO ALSO I REALLY LOVE HOW MR PLANT HELPED CLEAN UP THE MESS ITS JUST SO RELATIONSHIP GOALS I LOVE THEM

ANDDDDDDD THATS ALL!! THANK U AGAIN FOR ASKING THIS LIKE IM SOOOOOO GLAD I GET TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT IVE BEEN HAVING BRAINROT ABOUT THIS EPISODE FOR A WHILE NOW I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO ASK ME ABT IT SO I CAN ALLOW MYSELF TO TALK ABOUY IT LOL. THIS WAS SO FUN TO RAMBLE, I HOPE I MADE ANY SENSE AT ALL!! :DD

[a-libra-writes]

HIII!! can i ask, how do you write Mordecai Heller?? THANK YOUU!!

hmm Ill try to answer this best I can and try not to ramble too long but we'll see how that goes... Im not gonna act like im an expert or whatever, this is just my thought process ig? ALSO Im ace and so is he, and I add my own experiences into my writing. Anyway the long version here:

so first thing's first!! READ THE COMIC ALSO THE SIDE COMICS ALSO ALL THE EXTRAS bc esp the extras, you get to see a lot of his personality pre-Marigold. It's two very distinct points in his life - I'd venture to say that pre-Lackadaisy and early Lackadaisy Mordecai are also very different (and that makes sense - he was a kid, and he was with the Lackadaisy crew for 7 years). He has a very distinct character progression that in my opinion is very interesting and well-written!

actually, p much all lackadaisy characters are well-written, but mordecai is a fun case because he just has so much going on: his social skills are abysmal, and he doesn't seem to find it a problem. he has committed brutal murders and executions and considers them 'just business'. he doggedly pursues discrepancies. he fixates on things being neat and symmetrical if possible. He can deal with things not being that way, for a time (note when he's covered in bloody and filthy from a job, he doesn't freak out - because that's Business (tm) and he can just wash up anyway. But a driver getting a snot mess all over the car he has to drive in all the time? Unforgivable.) he grew up in squalor and has a serious phobia of spiders and rats. He's emotionally repressed in more ways than one. He's queer and is deeply uncomfortable with people (especially women) touching him or showing interest. He still thinks about his sisters fondly. he also thinks they're better off without him. He actually found a friend (or more) in Viktor and he'd never, ever, ever say it, and his way of keeping his friend out of crime and 'protecting' him was by shooting his kneecaps. his sense of humor is crap, and he doesn't understand why his mannerisms would be considered amusing. he got into crime at a young age, doing gangster's finances for them. as a kid.

im missing some other tidbits, but you get it. the dude is real interesting to think about and write, to say the least.

I think a lot of writing mordecai, esp if you're writing a more romantic fic or even if it's just platonic - he's so closed off! part of why the Savoys are so interested in him is they've worked with him a year and he just doesn't loosen up or talk much about himself. he and viktor knew each other seven whole-ass years and you think they ever talked about their families? how they came to know atlas? what they thought about the job? granted, Viktor is just as closed-off himself, but you get what im saying. he has a serious problem with letting people in, and part of writing him is getting a crowbar and figuring out which spot to put it in and bend it juuuust enough to open something up.

ok that metaphor went somewhere weird, but you get me. and, if im being honest, a LOT of what i channel is my own asexual experience. I used to be very touch averse, especially to the opposite gender - to the point where i'd panic if I felt a man was "too close" (i.e. less than 2 feet) and "lingering" (aka minding his business). I didnt mind my friends hugging me, but I didnt really like the cuddle sessions my female friends wanted to do, and after a point, I disliked hugs from my male friends. if a guy was crushing on me? Hell no, he wasnt going near me, even if I thought he was cute too (when I was younger I DEF had a thing for my female friends too, but i registered that as 'gaaaaal paaaals' for the LONGEST time until I accepted I was bi) There was like - an undercurrent of fear and anxiety. It took me a long time to identify why. while other people seemed delighted when people they liked held their hands and hugged and kissed, it sent me into a panic.

eventually i figured out my thought process: physical affection will inevitably lead to sex, and bc i thought i was straight, there was the terrifying thought of ... oh god if i date a guy he'll expect me to have sex. oh no oh no oh no-

(and no, no one taught me much about consent or taking things slow or talking to your partner. i had to figure it out, which sucked.)

all this to say ... when I write Mordecai, especially in a romantic sense, I kind of channel that anxiety I felt in my teens and early 20s. and like, this is the 1920's!!!!* Not to mention his upbringing, and of course his line of work - where he definiately cant have feelings getting in the way of murdering someone. I think this adds up to someone whose repressing themselves - their sexual thoughts (or lack thereof), memories of family, romantic thoughts, platonic thoughts, and so on.

I like to think - again, this is fanfiction, I seriously doubt it'll come up in the comics - in a romantic relationship (or even an intense platonic one), he gets intense about it. Because Mordecai is an intense guy - you can't hatchet up someone "because i was told to", or kneecap a friend you wanted to "protect", or switch sides to your father figure's rival and pretend like you betrayed everyone just to investigate that father figure and not be, uh. some kind of Intense. I often think that, in a relationship, his jealousy and confusion/apprehension around affection and sexuality would be just as intense. And eventually, the feelings of loyalty and devotion ... once he finally lets himself have it. Because I also think, to some degree, he doesn't think he should have it - just like he thinks his sisters and mother should just leave him behind.

when im writing him in the romantic sense - as I began to accept and understand my sexuality, and talk through my feelings with my partner (also generally have better mental health, my touch averseness got a lot better.** Again, Im also kind of projecting my feelings and experiences onto Mordecai regarding this. I like to think that, once he really trusts someone and allows them to touch him, other barriers begin to tumble down. its like raw nerves being touched sometimes, but he steadily gets used to it and eventually takes solace in it (now getting him to ADMIT that srfjsdfs--)

anyway! As always, fanfic is fanfic. You are free to characterize this murdercat however you wish. These are just the jumbled thoughts that run around in my brain.

* Asexuality, like homosexuality and many shades of queerness, was considered an illness. IF anyone even acknowledged asexuality at all - its definition and terminology hadn't really caught on until the 1970's, though the Kinsey scale attempted to address it (and Jennie June attempted to write and define this in the 1920s, but I seriously doubt her writings were widespread).

**A stranger can brush past me or put a hand on me and I only have a few seconds of anxiety. My friends and family can hug me for a while, or I can cuddle up to them. I don't mind my husband cuddling or kissing me at all anymore; he's actually the one person I can tolerate sustained affection from. A huge part of this change came from accepting and understand my asexuality as part of me. I wasnt "messed up" and "broken".

[hellbubu]

Hii!! Its saturday, the best day of the week! Not guilt for sleeping in and a new kuro episode xD (and your reaction, that always makes me laugh)

This episode flew so fast! And it wasnt even as interesting as most of the others, =( I did enjoy watching just how many strategies and backup plans Ciel came up with tho (Also, loved the prefect being willing to train hard af with Ciel to win....but the fact that he didnt even think to question why their teacher was training *this* particular boy all the time is so dumb....like you said, EVERYONE (except Edward and Bitch-cant remember his name rn-) is so twisted around his little finger its ridiculous. Even Ciel seems surprised by this, lol. Never ever has he been the hot girl and doesnt know how to react xDD (and I mean for people his age...not demons and old lecherous pervs, btw)

Lau's girls were....sure something lmao. Its always hilarious to me when boys lose their heads around some skin, but to this extreme? I didnt expect Edward to fall to it, tho. And at Ciel's "would that really work? -> ah, i guess demons would know about humans desires" I was ¬¬ sure bb, suuure you don't know anything about this, at all. (Also, the TOTAL lack of reaction from Druitt???? You're telling me the most pervert man in this whole stadium is not reacting to grown up women showing skin and that's not a tiny bit suspicious?? When he was commenting on the boys before this? Pfff)

I KNEW he was gonna get injured the moment Edwin's bat stopped 5 cm from his face. Idk, but i thought he was gonna let himself get hit in the upwards motion? And I was like "baby, baby! you're gonna lose like, four teeth!! ik its probably your milk teeth still, but cielll!" lmao. Luckily that didnt happen. Although his poor head... that was a STRONG swing. Still, as we know he's always willing to suffer if it results in his victory.

Also, is it just me or Sebastian was so slowww this ep??? And wouldnt he have more reason to approach the head master as a teacher rather than some random butler??? anyways.....

Saturdays are now Kuro-days! It's a shame we're almost through all the episodes 😭😭😭

I think they're all like that with him because they all see how much persistence, ambition, and intelligence are in that small body. Plus, it does help that he has a title, is cute, and is very fucking rich (I mean he has to buy new silver jewelry every other week because Sebastian uses them like a kunai).

Amor, everyone knows Druitt is only into people younger than his nephew. While I understand why this would be a good strategy, I'm honestly done with it. Like at least they weren't naked and only covered by clouds (Naruto used the Sexy Jutsu so much... I hate just thinking about it.

I do see why most boys were affected by it. Like, during that era people (in general) were more covered up. Like very covered up. And while I'm sure Ciel does know about sex, he might be used to seeing girls like that. I mean, Lau and Ran-Mao are always together. While he doesn't like to be hugged by her, I doubt that's because of "lust" and he mostly just doesn't like being touched.

I just love how he thought letting Greenhill (I googled his name) was a good idea. I mean, they won. But the head injury could bring long-lasting effects. Greenhill (I had to google his name) hits extremely hard

Look at that! That's not normal. Ciel is lucky he's alive.

I also liked it when Ciel was the only blue-haired one. On the bright side, I now HC that Redmond (I also Googled his name because in my head he's either Heather Chandler or Regina George) teases him saying they could be brothers. He calls Ciel his brother just to annoy Bluewer.

[spicybylerpolls]

Interesting points from anon who argued for bottom mike there. Thanks for being so generous with your explanation for your preference! 

I found this interesting: i guess my main reasoning for him being a bratty bottom is just how he acts sometimes through the show, his clear distaste for being told what to do and his snappy comebacks.

To me, this indicates that mike very much would not want to be told what to do in the bedroom, and would thus take control. Distaste… so why would he like being told what to do in the bedroom? 

I mean, maybe, as a kink, as a relief, in the way people who engage in d/s culture enjoy the separation from their reality. But that’s also a highly self aware and advanced sexual expression that requires knowledge and courage. Your average virgin does not immediately engage in bdsm culture or even understand its psychology. Most people barely know what they like in the bedroom, let alone the complex dynamics of bdsm and d/s. 

Which leads me to the realisation of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff, which I hadn't known were a thing. At first it didnt make sense to me... why would you want to celebrate characters/a show but make it completely into something that no longer resembles that show or those characters??

I understand fandom better now, but even so re: sex, I would say that irl, at least 50% of people dont engage in dom/sub dynamics in their sex life at all, or even anything that would be considered kinky or fetish. In fact, one you've removed the percentage of people who don’t have sex at all, a large portion of sexually active people (especially women) don’t engage in even the simplest kind of vanilla sex where they ask for the bare minimum of what they would enjoy, what they want, know what they want - many dont even enjoy sex or know how to orgasm. This doesnt mean their sex is abusive or toxic or they have a history of trauma, but just that they dont feel comfortable or that it’s their place to ask for pleasure. They just do what they think they should do, 'normal sex' (a common historic phrase here was 'lie back and think of england' lmao... basically what royal queens were told to think as their husbands butchered them in the least enjoyable way possible).

(I also always found the scene with Steve’s mean friends in s1, after he and Nancy have sex, uncomfortable because they were clearly taking the mick out of Nancy when imitating her screams, and it highlighted how performative that sexual experience may well have been for Nancy. I mean, if Steve made her cum during her first time? Damn, he’s good. But chances are he didn’t, and nancy’s storyline was partially about performances and status in s1, so her first time w Steve also being performative is a possibility. It makes the barb storyline even sadder too.)

But back to byler. theyre boys so dynamic will be different to a man and woman, but I think dom/sub conversation comes up so much more in gay sex, and is it because people just can’t see gay men as being equals in the bedroom? Even though people have no issue imaging equal sex with a man and woman, despite a similar dynamic of who is penetrating? But two men? Nope, one must be dom or sub, one must be more powerful, even if you’re a power bottom you’re still a power something. Why can’t it be equal? Why do we ALWAYS have to refer to dom and sub? 

I’m not saying that dynamic wouldnt exist for byler at some point, or that it’s no good, but it doesn’t need to be the only frame of reference. Sure, byler don’t always have to have penetrative sex either, but even if they are, will it ever be possible to talk about topping and bottoming without power dynamics being involved? Equal union, joining of bodies, not an inkling of power in sight. In fact, not even using the term ‘topping’ and ‘bottoming’, which may well have origins in physicality, such as the missionary position, but certainly also hold connotations of power. Who’s on top? Who’s bottom? I don’t love the wording tbh, and I wonder what the history of that is in gay culture. 

"Which leads me to the realization of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff"

This is so interesting to me - it reminds me of that one anon the regular byler poll blog got recently about their confusion as to why people were speculating about things they can't possibly know the answer to. But yeah, you're right that a significant portion of fandom is imagination/headcanon based, and I agree with the anon on the byler polls account who pointed out that this is largely personality-driven, where some are all about this and others are... very much not.

All your other points are super interesting too! What does everyone else think?

[cara-carabowditbowdit]

please tell me more about crowley and aziraphale im Very interested /srs

ok so. this is gonna be a looong post sorry

BASICALLY. aziraphale is an angel, crowley is a demon. theyve known each other for 6,000 years, at the creation of the universe (when crowley was still an angel. he created stars and everything. very nice job) and theyve become great... friends (wink) even though theyre not supposed to be! so theyre not friends! theyre eeeevil enemies. and then they go out for dinner

anyways. idk how to explain it well but theyre just SOOOOO!!

ok so now im going to try and do like. a whole thing explaining everything below so SPOILERS!!!!

okay so. in the beginning aziraphale and crowley were both angels. they met when crowley was making stars and galaxies and all that pretty stuff, and aziraphale came to say that they were going to shut it down after a bit. crowley gets upset and goes whaaaa this is so cool why would they do that (lil thing to note. aziraphale is like. interested in crowley but he doesnt really care) and then they have some really nice scene

d'aww. ok and so THEN! some big war happens i think? i dont know they dont show that part and crowley falls. demon moment!!! and then they go through all these different decades being friends, getting to know each other, and its great. aziraphale sins a little bit (gluttony), crowley saves aziraphales books, and they all have fun. oh btw. crowley can transform into a snake, and apparently hes the one that caused adam and eve to eat the apple? BUT! theres this other great scene where theyre talking, and its revealed that aziraphale gave his flaming sword to adam and eve, showing that he loves humans and has a soft spot for them, and theres this other great shot

THE PARALLELS!!!!!!!!! AUUUGh (^ this one came before. btw) and so this is sort of them showing how ohh, theyre not supposed to hang out because angel good demon evil waaah but they just KEEP ON FINDING EACH OTHER. oh and. speaking of like. showing off different softer sides of them. in season 2, theres a lot of bits where they show that crowley is pretty much putting up this show of being so meaaan and eeevil but hes actually nice and cares about humans (bringing jobs kids back, keeping that girl from dying, etc). ok now onto talking about season one. warning i havent watched this season in a bit so this is just me going off memory.

ok so! the big issue this season is "oh noooo we lost the antichrist!! big bad things gonna happen" and its awesome. OK SO. it starts off with crowley delivering the antichrist to this satanist church? and theres two women having babies that night. ONE is a normal family, who are supposed to have a normal baby. THE OTHER ONE is a rich family who is supposed to have the EEEVIL baby. can u guess what happens. BABY SWITCH!!! they didnt realize it tho so crowley and aziraphale are sent after the wrong baby. (to make him sin/be good) and then they realize on his 11th? birthday "aw crud! wrong baby." and go on some search to find the right antichrist. and that brings us to ADAM!!! hes the antichrist, and one coooooool kid. hes pretty normal tho and just hangs out with his friends. and then one day on his 11th birthday this dog shows up! (hellhound) and then off on the side theres this witch lady named anathema device who has a book that knows the future. crazy stuff. oh and this guy names newt whos kinda a dork and talks to this weird witch hunter guy shadwell and his neighbor madame tracy. oh and the four horseman of the apocalypse are around and free OKAY. into it now. anthma knows something bad is going to happen (book), and she moves to london because thats where its gonna happen!! whaaaat!!! and newt moves to london because uhh. witch finder i think? and he goes to meet shadwell and accidently meets tracy. not important rn. shadwells kinda bonkers and freaks newt out. ok now onto anathema. im pretty sure that aziraphale and crowley were driving around (oh btw. he has a magic bentley) and hit her!! yeoch. and after driving her home she accidentally leaves her book in the bentley and aww they gotta meet up again aw shucks. okay now they go searching for adam (antichrist) and i dont think they find him? anyways i forgot how but then tracy shadwell newt and anathema all meet up with crowley and aziraphale and do a seance. i forgot what about but ohh nooo aziraphale is in madame tracys body!!! ok so i kinda forgot how again but somehow theyre all at some big area and the four horsemen and running around i forgot what theyre doing and BLAM ADAM SHOWS UP hes mad. hes trapped his friends into doing what he wants. hes gonna start the apocalypse. average 11 yr old stuff. BUT!!! crowley and aziraphale manage to calm him down and newt blows something up. idk whats going on anymore. satan comes out, "grrrah im ur father adam". its a nice lovely moment. but oh wait!!! gabriel (heavens big man) and beezelbub (hells high duke) come down/up and r like "yall r in biiiig trouble! cant be doin all this" and they try to kill both of them. aziraphale in hellfire, crowley in holy water. that scene comes and yoo wait theyre both alive??? this is insane!!!! theyre both MILKING it, bein dramatic and then. at the end. WHAOOOAH THEYRE ACTUALLY THE OTHER ONE?????

and thats the end of season one. okay so i know that this is incredibly long but im not even done. im going to reblog this later with me talking about season two and that should be shorter. OH BTW

thats what everyone looks like ^^

OKAY BYE!!!!!!

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

how do you and aifsaath perceive aegon III character? What could had been his true potential if not for depression? Or even a more fun what if , what if aegon III and viserys II were raised by their parents daemon and rhaenyra

Would you had seen a different character traits , values or different interests? i wonder if viserys would had been still interested in economy after having no contact with rogares. I dont see rhaenyra allowing that happening ever even baby viserys gets a crush on beautiful stunning women larra. But i am not sure about daemon…. Would daemon see the profit and benefit from wedding viserys to rogares? Rogares claim to be important valyrian rooted family ….

i wonder if dance of dragons didnt happen and lets say rhaenura or aegon gets crowned. There are tensions but no one died . In other words miracle happened. Would daemon rather marry his sons aegon and viserys to aegon heleana’s daughters who are dragonriders too than rich magister’s daughter and vaemon velaryon’s granddaughter?

such good questions! @aifsaath and I both have a big soft spot for Aegon III. I think that, considering everything he went through, canon Aegon showed a remarkable resilience and certainly had the potential to be a good king. One thing about Aegon 3 that I noticed when I recently re-read the Regency chapters is that there's the definitely implication that he realizes when people are acting against his best interests. During the Regency he's limited in his ability to act, but he keeps track of those slights. I think the history books are a bit too harsh on Aegon 3, considering the gigantic mess he was responsible for cleaning up and the way his Regents seemed to have little interest in setting him up for a strong reign when they could put their efforts towards advancing their own houses instead. He held it together, and arguably it's because he managed to hold it together that House Targaryen kept on going for as long as it did when the Dance could easily have ended the dynasty.

As for your other questions, I think the chances are high that in some hypothetical no-dance world, Daemon pushes for Aegon III to be heir, and probably pushes what Aife and I jokingly call the cursed Baegon ship, that is, Aegon III and Baela. In book canon they're really not all that far apart in age, and Daemon wouldn't have any issue with brother-sister marriage, and it's actually pretty surprising to me that in canon Corlys doesn't try to make it happen post-Dance. If for some reason that's not possible, in this no-Dance world I think Daemon would prefer Jaehaera over a Lyseni merchant's daughter. I think it's unlikely Larra or the Rogares are a factor at all without the Dance and Viserys' "rescue." It's actually kind of interesting to me how rarely house Targaryen looked to Essos for potential marriage alliances, and I think it speaks to the practicalities of being a "foreign" house in Westeros. For all that Daemon might have made noise about Hightowers, the fact of the matter was that the Targaryens needed to shore up their domestic alliances, and that need only becomes more pronounced once the dragons die out.

That said, it's possible that by the time Aegon III was ready to marry Daemon wouldn't even be in the picture anymore. Not only was he already getting up there in years, Daemon always seemed to me to have a restless spirit, and didn't seem like the kind of guy who was going to die in his bed surrounded by children and grandchildren, you know? So maybe he wouldn't have much to do with the marriages his sons ultimately made. It's interesting to think about though!