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akaashisupremacy · 3 years

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Ambition

Summary: As you fall deeper in love with him, where do you fit into among Atsumu’s ambitions?

Atsumu x reader || HQ Masterlist

genre: angst to fluff (wc: 1k)

“So are you two together or what?” Osamu Miya squints at you expectantly with his hands on his waist.

He is much like his brother. They both have little subtlety.

After a reunion in Onigiri Miya, everybody except the twins finally leave. You’re left alone with Osamu, who is cleaning up the tables and Atsumu who is in the loo.

Osamu’s been seeing the two of you around enough that his curiosity is piqued. You look left and right, making sure Atsumu isn’t eavesdropping anywhere nearby.

“Ahhmm, don’t think so. To be honest, I’m not sure this is going to last once he heads back to Osaka.” you shrug.

You try to do it as casually as you can. You don’t want to look affected by your decision.

“Oh, really now?” Osamu tries not to give away his surprise, but from the slight raise of his brows you can tell that isn’t what he expected.

Atsumu comes out of the bathroom just as the awkward silence settles between the two of you.

“Did I miss anything?” he asks.

You and Osamu shake your heads in unison. This is a conversation to be had between you and Atsumu only.

Atsumu’s eyes flicker back and forth in suspicion.

“Let’s get you home. I’ll walk you to the intersection.” he nods.

————————————————————————————————

Atsumu is disconcerted by what he witnessed between you and Samu. He thought you and he are at a point where you can be honest with each other. Apparently not.

As your feet crunched beneath Hyogo’s pavement, he subtly turns to you.

Atsumu is one for intense romantic relationships. He is not shy about his passion. He doesn’t shy away from physical intimacy in the early stages. He is unafraid to argue and air his opinions. He likes getting in what sprints of time he can get with his partners.

And so he finds it disconcerting that despite being un-immune to his charms, you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length where he is unable to relish in the usual emotional intensity he expects out of his relationships.

“You don’t have to walk me home. I can go alone.” you insist.

“I want to.” he quickly follows you and grabs his coat. In the corner of his eye, Osamu nods as if to wish him good luck.

You remembered earlier this evening when the alcohol was really setting in, you exchanged a series of long glances at Atsumu. Your cheeks were both flushed, eyes hazy with lust and intoxication. You couldn’t help looking at him and he at you.

You looked at him through your lashes, tracing your eyes over the bridge of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. And nothing thrilled you more than when you caught him looking at you the same way, except maybe when he would smirk or wink at you from where he was.

Even though you were seated apart, these gestures obliterated the distance.

It’s not that you haven’t been attracted to him before. But something about his impassioned ways tempered by time and a tinge of melancholy adds a layer of charm to the Atsumu you know.

“When I get back to Osaka—“ he begins. Before this year, Atsumu’s never been to your side of town. Now he knows your address like the back of his hand.

“I don’t think you’ll hear much from me.” you interrupt.

The crisp in the air turns to chill.

“Hai? Excuse me?” he swivels his entire body towards you, hands buried deep in his pockets. “Aren’t you moving there?”

“I think we should stop, whatever this is.” you try to replicate the shrug you gave to Osamu.

Your impending move to Osaka was the catalyst of your increasingly frequent meetings with Atsumu this past few months. At first it was strictly business. You asked about the logistics and the house-hunting.

Soon after, Osaka was just an excuse. Whenever Atsumu came back to Kobe, you hung out because you wanted to.

You were surprised at how much you liked spending time with Atsumu. He has an irresistible zest for life and sport that was contagious. Although he’s not as frank as he used to be, you appreciated his candor and his single-handed determination not to give a shit for those who didn’t like him.

However the more time you spent with him, the more evident it is that his life revolved around his work.

Atsumu blinks hard and furrows his brow, “Was I…reading some signs…wrong?”

You hate it that he’s standing so close enough that you can feel some warmth from his body. It’s difficult not to fantasise what his skin is like on yours once you’re both alone in an apartment.

When you gaze up to his eyes, they are wide, confused and hurt.

“I-I know you were offered to play in a league abroad…” you organize your feelings, “and I…don’t want to move to Osaka just so our goodbyes can be difficult. I don’t want to have to compete with volleyball.”

“Oh that,” he murmurs swiftly, “I’m turning it down.”

Your head whiplashes, “WHAT?!”

Atsumu is one to be defined almost exclusively by his ambition and drive for volleyball. It’s such a huge part of his identity.

“I’ve made up my mind that I’m not going to play for a foreign league. I’m going to spend the rest of my professional career here in Japan.” he says steadfastly. It’s his turn to shrug.

He looks so calm. You can tell he’s made this decision for a while now.

“I’m not injured,” he reads into your expression, “I like my life right now and I’ve hit the point that I want to maintain my work-life balance. If those offers came when I was younger, I’d totally grab it. Burn myself to the ground to improve my game and everything. But that’s just not me anymore. I want to settle down in Japan.”

“Is that bad? That I’m not the ambitious, blazing athlete you thought I’d be?” he smiles. There’s a tinge of sadness as if he’s expecting inevitable disappointment.

“No, I respect that. It’s just that…” You’re not sure what to say.

“I’m closer to my family, to you and I don’t want to be ashamed that I admit that.” he continues, ”My drive has gotten me to where I am today. That doesn’t mean I need to keep this up for the rest of my life.”

He looks wistfully at the sky. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen him so serene.

You both stop walking. You’ve arrived at the intersection. His gaze returns to you.

“So can I invite you to my game next month? Tickets will be on me.” he smiles.

He reaches out to hold your hand. Your fingers instinctively interlace with his.

“Of course, I’d love to see you play again.”

You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek. Instead his hands cup your face and kisses your lips. Although his lips are warm and soft, the easy contentment in his eyes is replaced by longing.

When you began spending time with Atsumu, you wondered why you hadn’t been more attracted to him when you were both in Inarizaki. But now it doesn’t matter.

You feel lucky to fall for him at this stage in his life. Where his life isn’t centered completely around his career anymore. Where his ambition is to build a life with you.

-------------------------------------------------

Read more Atsumu here (one shot) or here (mini series).

Taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi @holaaaf @glxar

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! :D

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spacedikut · 4 years

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the blessing of a blizzard ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: a blizzard leaves the team holed up in the bau office. spencer can’t stop thinking about your elusive boyfriend, mike, who might not be your boyfriend after all. 4.3k

a/n: festive fic! kind of! im too scared to do a final check so if there’s errors or i misuse pronouns just lemme know ily happy holidays ! thank you to the incredible @homoose for helping with dialogue :D

Mike. His name is Mike, and Spencer hates him.

Full name Michael, Spencer presumes, which comes from Hebrew meaning “who is like God?” A rhetorical question, implying there is no person like God, Michael was one of the archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible.

What Michael should mean, however, is the guy that stole your heart and left Spencer thinking things very unlike him – that Mike, a man Spencer has never met and that clearly makes you very happy, has a really stupid name, for example.

There are three things Spencer knows about him:

1. Ever since you started deciding on his wardrobe, ladies love him. It makes you a little jealous, apparently.

2. You love baking him homemade treats whenever you can. Like a movie playing in his head, Spencer can perfectly remember you excitedly chatting with Garcia and Emily, animatedly explaining how excited Mike gets when he sees you’ve made something just for him.

3. Mike can be a bit of a dick, actually. There have been several mornings you’ve come in with a long face, leaning back in your desk chair far enough to view the world upside down and whining about how grumpy Mike was that morning, how you had to tip-toe around your apartment lest he get mad.

You’d called him your soulmate, added that he’s a light in your life you didn’t know you needed until you had him. You’re a person who chooses their words carefully, so when you’re walking around putting Mike and soulmate in the same sentence, you mean business.

That business is ripping Spencer’s heart out of his chest, apparently. Because you’re busy showing JJ pictures of him on your phone right now, blissfully unaware of the subconscious glare Spencer is lasering into your phone as he leans against the jet counter.

Spencer’s never had the honour of seeing Mike (a genuine word you used – honour) and you know what? Spencer doesn’t want to know what Mike looks like. Spencer doesn’t care. Mike’s probably ugly, anyway, and Spencer’s confidence within himself grows day by day and if there’s one thing he’s learnt recently it’s that comparison is the thief of joy and-

“Oh!” JJ exclaims, “He’s gorgeous!”

Fuck Mike. Really, fuck him.

+++

The floor is slippery beneath everyone’s feet, the surrounding area slowly losing its mixture of colours to blend into one coat of white.

It’s snowing.

Garcia greets the team, a steaming cup of tea in her bejewelled hands, and everyone gets to work right away. There’s whispers of the snow getting heavier and sticking and covering more and more ground with more and more depth; people are rushing against the proverbial clock to get done and get home before they’re all stuck.

But that won’t happen, right? If people were genuinely concerned about getting snowed in, surely everyone would’ve been sent home early as a precaution. Right? Right?

Wrong.

Rossi’s the one to notice it, calling out, “Check it out. Snow’s pretty bad.”

He says it like it’s nothing, like they’ll race to the windows then deflate with disappointment because you couldn’t even create a single snowball with that light coat, but holy hell people are walking around with snow up to their ankles and it’s still coming down thick. And then the lights are flickering and JJ is making frantic calls home to Will and Hotch is exiting his office, phone pressed to his ear, calling everyone to attention:

“There’s a blizzard incoming. It’s too dangerous for anyone to be on the roads, so we’re being told to sit tight. You should all try to call home, just in case; we don’t know how long we’ll be here.”

Some people still brave it, still try to head on home, and whether they make it or not is up to the Gods. The team glance around, varying expressions – Emily and Derek look pissed, JJ is worried, and you and Rossi are straight-faced. Penelope is bouncing in excitement.

“It’s like a sleepover!”

All Spencer can think about is how Mike will have to suffer another day without you. He bites back a smile.

+++

Spencer’s straining his neck, butt barely on his desk chair, in attempt to see around all the bustling people that stand between you and him. Through the glass BAU doors, on the phone, your shoulders are slumped and you kick your boot against the floor a few times to channel your multitude of emotions into something. He hopes Mike isn’t giving you a hard time for something that isn’t within your control.

Emily looks up from her monitor, where she’s doing Christmas shopping even though it’s Christmas Eve, and looks thoroughly amused by Spencer’s internal battle of wanting to watch you but not wanting it to be obvious.

“You good, Reid?”

Spencer flinches like Emily pinched him. “Yeah, good. Fine. Are you good?”

Emily makes a show of slowly turning to look at you, still on the phone, then slowly turning back to Spencer’s wide-eyed gaze. She smirks. “You think they’re talking to Mike?”

Yes, Spencer does think that, but he’d made a point to not fully acknowledge it. And there’s something about Emily’s smugness that tells Spencer she’s teasing him – she knows something he doesn’t and it makes his eyes narrow. “Probably. Why?”

Whatever the response is, Emily’s barely opened her mouth before she’s interrupted by Penelope Garcia gracefully clapping her hands, getting the attention of every BAU member. The team quiets and all eyes are on Penelope. Except Spencer, who watches with concern as you sneak back to your desk, a furrow to your brow and downward dips either side of your mouth.

“I know these are less-than-great circumstances, and we’re stuck in work of all places, but that shouldn’t mean we can’t have a little fun! So…”

She wildly gestures for Hotch to step forward, a cheesy grin on her face and a gleam in Hotch’s eye that tells everyone he’s also smiling but internally, and she takes the three large boxes he was carrying like the good sidekick he is.

“We’re building gingerbread houses!”

There’s exclamations of surprise and joy; Emily lights up at the idea of doing anything other than work or sitting at her desk, and JJ takes a box to look it over before asking, “Where did you get these?”

Hotch answers. “They were supposed to be for the kids,” He shrugs, holding back a smile, “However, I guess we can use them now.”

“Yes,” Penelope nods, “Yes, we can use them now. Get your game faces on, because this is a competition. Hotch and Rossi are the judges, because they’re grumpy old men, and the rest of us will be in teams of two fighting to build the best gingerbread house the BAU has ever seen.”

Derek speaks up for the first time, just to insult Spencer. “I refuse to be on a team with Reid. He has no creative skills.”

Members of the team laugh and Spencer reacts indignantly. He wants to reply, but you’re already speaking.

“Hey! I’ll take him! Spencer’s great.”

Many heads snap to you when you speak, Spencer’s surely got whiplash, but you’re looking at him and smiling at him and him alone. He’s breathless at the sight, how you chose him and have literal stars in your eyes, yet all he can think is how undeserving he is of such a beauty. How undeserving anyone is, mostly Mike, to exist in the same reality as someone who puts the definition of beautiful to shame.

Spencer’s about to make the best damn gingerbread house the world has ever seen.

+++

So, building a gingerbread house? A little more difficult than originally thought.

Maybe it’s the sticky icing, or the temptation to simply eat all the sweet decorative candy rather than use it for its intended purpose, or…

Maybe it’s the pretty teammate Spencer has that keeps brushing against him, keeps brushing against his hands, and like a virus to a computer you completely wipe Spencer of all thoughts other than: Y/N.

Spencer caught you watching him while he was rolling up his shirt sleeves, caught you staring at his hands and trailing your eyes up his forearms, following the sleeves as they moved inch by inch up to his elbows.

Then, when Spencer was holding two pieces of gingerbread together, you were too lost in thought to put the icing between the cracks and cement them together. Your eyes were trained on the fingers pressing the pieces together. Spencer had to call your name three times to wake you up.

Then, something weird happened (if the previous instances weren’t weird enough). You two had been in your own bubble of hushed tones and accidental touching, surrounded by bickering and collapsing houses and at one point Emily offered Rossi twenty bucks if he just votes for her and JJ without them making a house, and suddenly it’s silent. All he can hear is his heartbeat, his blood pumping in his ears, and all he can feel is the warmth of your breath on his ear because you’re right there, over his shoulder, joining him in hunching over your creation to decorate it with all kinds of shapes and colours.

The close proximity is too much. It’s too much.

You lean even closer, shoulder and arm pressed directly against Spencer’s, and lift another hand to place a miniature candy cane next to the gingerbread door. The action causes your hand to brush Spencer’s, and for the first time ever he’s not jolting away like he’s been electrocuted, no, his hand stays there, hovering, waiting and hoping for more.

Hoping for more of you.

And you seem to realise, too, that Spencer’s reaction is abnormal. He can’t decide if you’re testing the waters, or if it was a mere accident. But what are you testing the waters for? Why are you trying to touch him? Why do you want to touch him?

He takes a sharp intake of breath. From the corner of his eye, he sees you turn to look at him, and he almost doesn’t reciprocate. Almost.

You’re so close, face so close to his own. You take the softest breaths, in and out, sending the gentlest puffs of air onto Spencer’s lips.

He has no idea what the fuck is happening. He doesn’t want it to stop.

Your eyes, always shining and full of an emotion Spencer can’t decipher, dance around his face – his eyes, to his nose, stopping on each cheek, back and forth and up and down. Spencer’s captured by them, unable to tear himself away, which has become quite the habit since he’s known you.

Then you’re looking at his lips.

Spencer blinks, hoping to clear away the obvious hallucination he’s having, but no. Nothing changes. Your gaze remains, unwavered, making Spencer subconsciously open his mouth. The softest gasp leaves it when your pupils dilate.

This is the perfect moment to kiss, right? Right here, in front of the gingerbread house you made together, decorated together, and now begin the start of something else together. It makes sense, it’s almost poetic, and Spencer’s thought about you and him in a relationship enough times to consider this opportunity good and sweet enough to regale everyone with in the future.

Can you imagine it? “We had our first kiss in front of the gingerbread house we slaved over together. We won the competition, too.”

There’s a loud clang – Penelope found an actual gong from somewhere – and Rossi announces that the timer has gone off and it’s time for the judges to vote for the winner.

When you gently pick up yours and Spencer’s creation and take it to a cloth-covered table, where Rossi and Hotch ominously stand with their arms crossed, Spencer is frozen in place.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

There’s no way you wanted to kiss him. It isn’t possible. You’ve never looked at him like that before. It must’ve been a mistake.

But you were so close…

No. If Spencer made that move, it would’ve ruined everything – your friendship, the festive fun, the atmosphere of the entire evening. Everyone’s expected to be stuck here for at least another six hours, and making it tense and awkward was not something Spencer is willing to do.

But your eyes…

Spencer can’t think about that fact too much. That could mean anything – dilated pupils don’t necessarily mean you’re in love. You could’ve gotten a good whiff of the gingerbread and felt hungry, or a song you really liked started playing from the playlist Penelope created. Or, most likely, Spencer thinks, you were thinking about someone else.

Your boyfriend, for example.

You have a boyfriend. Mike.

Of course, you were probably thinking of Mike. Your boyfriend.

Spencer almost kissed someone in a relationship, and he’s pretty sure you almost kissed him too.

+++

Much to Derek’s chagrin, you and Spencer win the gingerbread house contest.

Penelope was baffled, frantically gesturing to the Jacuzzi she made with icing and- Derek made miniature weights? Somehow? It looked chaotic.

“Practicality, my dear,” Rossi told her. “Who, living in a gingerbread house, is worried about working out?”

Even though you and Spencer were the winners, Derek and Penelope and their pouting (and calls for a rematch) took the attention away from the obvious awkward tension between the winners. Spencer stayed at the desk you worked at while you took your house to the judges, stayed at the desk when you were crowned and stayed at the desk when you cheered.

You looked at him, wide grin and happy eyes, and all he could do was tightly smile back. Give a thumbs up.

He gave you a thumbs up. You nearly kissed less than ten minutes prior. And all he could do was give you a thumbs up.

The light in your eyes dimmed, but you seemed to understand.

Understand what, exactly? Spencer’s not so sure either. But something clicked in your head – you nodded to yourself as if confirming whatever you’ve concluded, and turned your back to him.

That was an hour ago. Now, the team has spread across everyone’s desks. Turns out, Hotch is a big fan of gingerbread - he’s consumed most of Derek and Penelope’s creation, icing and all, while Rossi has decided now is a good time to open one of the many bottles of whiskey he has in his office.

Spencer believes having that much alcohol in your work environment is breaking some kind of rule, but the snow isn’t letting up and it looks like a sleepover in the BAU office is likely. He deserves a little whiskey.

And where are you in all of this?

Spencer won’t lie and pretend he hasn’t had you in his line of sight the entire time, so he’ll recap what you’ve been doing: laughing at Derek’s jokes, plaiting Penelope’s hair, eating the candy Emily and JJ didn’t use on their house.

You’d left the room to call home and check up on things (check up on Mike, Spencer thinks bitterly) and now you stand in front of the large window by the BAU elevators, watching the snow fall.

Spencer has the perfect view of you through the glass doors. When the call ends and you stay there, he grabs a paper plate, grabs one of the walls from yours and his masterpiece and makes his way towards you.

He doesn’t know what he’ll say, or how he’ll even act, but he wants to talk to you. Things feel weird after the almost-kiss, and Spencer never wants things to be weird with you. He can’t have things weird with you. You hadn’t talked to him once since the competition, and he has a feeling you’re waiting for him to make the first move.

So he does. If that’s what you need, he’ll do it.

(He’s making this more dramatic than it needs to be, really, but he feels everything so deeply when it comes to you)

“Hey.”

Spencer’s voice perfectly matches the snowy atmosphere. It makes you feel warm inside, like you’ve just taken a sip of hot cocoa, and so often he’s left goosebumps on your skin just from speaking.

Seeing the outstretched paper plate in his hand, you take it gratefully. “Hi there. Thanks.” You nod to the gingerbread that you begin breaking up.

You hand him the first piece even though he brought it for you, and it’s silent while you both chew thoughtfully and watch the pure white outside. It doesn’t feel weird, necessarily, standing here, shoulder-to-shoulder with you, but you’re certainly more in your head than usual. You’re thinking a lot and, as much as it hurts him, Spencer knows you’re likely preoccupied by your boyfriend and not what transpired between you earlier.

It’s that thought, that disappointment settling into his chest, that opens his mouth unconsciously: “How’s Mike? Does he know you’re not making it home tonight?”

He regrets it immediately, worsened by the way you stop mid-chew, eyes dimming like Spencer’s taken a baseball bat and shattered the lights inside.

This is unchartered territory – talking about Mike with you – and you know it. Who, in their right mind, willingly asks the person they have feelings for how their relationship with someone that isn’t you is going? Does Spencer enjoy pain?

Although this is the first time Spencer’s mentioned Mike to your face (he’s mentioned Mike plenty to a laughing Derek), he’s been so close to presenting the topic many times. He wants to know so badly – wants to know how well Mike treats you, really treats you (he will profile you), if you see a long-term future with him and if not, on average how long does it take you to get over your exes? Just an estimate?

You swallow the gingerbread you’re eating. “He’s okay. My roommate has to take care of him, but at least he’s got someone.”

Huh?

Since when do you have a roommate?

And why is your roommate taking care of your boyfriend?

Oh. Guilt blooms in Spencer when it registers that he’s been thinking ill of a person that might be sick. No wonder you dote on him so much and seemed devastated to make that phone call home earlier - Mike needs you, you can’t be there for him, and you feel horrible for it.

Spencer feels horrible for having the subject of his anger be someone you so clearly cherish, so deeply love. He’s embarrassed that if he was asked to explain why he hates Mike so much, he’d have to tell them it’s because Mike has you, and you’re what Spencer wants. What about what you want?

“Take care of him?” Spencer asks. The concern is genuine, which is an emotion he never thought he’d have in regards to Mike. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh,” You shrug. “He needs someone watching over him at all times, that’s all.”

That’s all?

You continue. “Make sure he eats – and only eats what he’s supposed to. Give him his meds. Make sure he poops. Those kinda things.”

What?

“Your… roommate makes sure your boyfriend poops?”

Now, Spencer knows what you look like when you’re confused. Honestly, he has every facial expression you’ve graced him with tucked away in a proverbial box he spends too much time thinking about. He knows that when you’re trying not to laugh, you bite the inside of your left cheek. When you’re frustrated but need to present a professional front, you bite the inside of your right cheek. Happiness fills your entire face, like every inch is consumed by it, and you’ve trained yourself to transport anger to your hands, where they twist into tight fists and leave fingernail marks in your palms.

Confusion is one of his favourites (second only to joy – for obvious reasons. Have you seen your smile?) because it takes many forms. You’ve pursed your lips, narrowed your eyes, tapped your foot on the floor. When you do them all, Spencer considers it a jackpot. There’s something about the way you look when you’re presented with something you can’t quite figure out yet, when you’re perplexed, that just-

You make it hard for him to concentrate. He can’t be a genius when you’re around because you’re so pretty. You’re a vision and he can never rattle off information to you specifically because he will trip up and divert to talking about the beauty that is you and that would be embarrassing for many reasons.

But this type of confusion? The way you’re looking at him right now? He’s never seen this before. Your jaw has dropped, your brows are furrowed so deeply they might fall off, and you look… horrified.

“My… my boyfriend?”

Spencer mirrors your expression. “Yeah, your boyfriend. Mike?” He looks around, waiting for cameramen to jump out and tell him he’s being pranked, because why don’t you know who your own boyfriend is?

You move slowly, placing the half-eaten plate on the windowsill before turning to face Spencer fully. You take a second to compose yourself.

“Mike is my cat.”

Mike is…

“And he’s having digestive issues, so he needs to be watched pretty much full-time.”

Silence. Tense, weird silence.

“…You thought Mike was my boyfriend?”

Spencer sputters, then, because of course he did! “Yes! The way you talk about him was… it was… it seemed…”

He flustered, oh so flustered, hands flailing and face enflamed and burning from the inside out. How had he not known?! How had… how had your wires gotten so convoluted, so mixed?

Does everyone know that Mike is a cat? Is Spencer the only one out of the loop? The look Emily gave him earlier, that knowing too-smug look, was that…

She was making fun of him. She knew he thought Mike was a person, not a pet, and was teasing him because of it.

All at once, the world seems lighter and dimmer – a contradiction that leaves Spencer’s chest heaving – because the past year feels like a lie. He’s spent so long seeing the way you come to life when talking about Mike, sitting opposite you on the jet as you awaken like a dying flower watered when home got closer and closer, and it was all for… a cat?

There’s a mist over Spencer’s eyes as he recalls every overheard declaration of love and coos of how handsome Mike is, and you’re laughing. Spencer’s having a crisis in front of your very eyes and you’re laughing. Hunched over, a single tear falling from your eye, clutching your stomach because it hurts from the ferocity of your giggles.

By the time you quieten, your hand is over your mouth to cover the big grin that grounds him, gives him something other than this revelation to focus on. Spencer’s still baffled, frazzled, but there’s the tiniest of smiles on his face because of how overjoyed you look. And he did that. Albeit his stupidity did it, but Spencer’s stupidity nonetheless.

You’re out of breath. “God I… I don’t even know what to say. You really thought my cat was my boyfriend?”

Spencer’s fighting a smile, lips wiggling. The way you’re looking at him now, all blinding smile and crinkled eyes, alleviates him of any anxiety he earlier had. Like you’ve wiped away his plate-full of worries, all the times it felt like he took an arrow to the heart, all the times he caught you smiling at your phone because you were looking at pictures of Mike, it’s all worth it. Because you’ve never looked like this while talking about Mike, and Mike is a cat. He isn’t a person, isn’t your boyfriend. Mike is a cat and Spencer has a chance.

Spencer has a chance.

“Does this… this means you’re single, right?”

A somewhat terrified look overtakes his face.

“Oh, shoot, you are single, right?”

You bite your lower lip and nod. “Yes, Spencer. I’m single.”

He lets out a breath. “Good. That’s good. I’m glad.” He repeats your nod, realises what he said could imply, and starts shaking his head. “Not-not good good. You’re incredible and need to be appreciated, but… good, because that means we could, you know…” He gestures vaguely. God, why can’t he get coherent words out? “If you wanted to, we could-“

“Are you trying to ask me out, Spencer?”

“Yes.”

Just to cause immense emotional distress, you raise an eyebrow, mischief clear on your face, and wait for him to continue.

“You want me to actually ask?” He winces.

“I’ve spent the last year convinced you didn’t like me, so, yes, I want you to actually ask.”

The new information sends ice down Spencer’s back because what? Since when? “You- what?“

“I’ve liked you for a while, Spencer,” You cross your arms over your body, slightly embarrassed. “But you always kept your distance so I did too, I guess.”

“I thought you were taken!” Spencer exclaims. “If I’d known I would’ve-we could’ve- I would-“

“You’d what, Reid?” There’s a teasing lilt to your tone, but there’s no denying you’re incandescently happy.

He takes a deep breath and asks what he’s wanted to for far too long. “When this is all over, would you like to go on a date with me, Y/N?”

Relief flashes in your eyes, like you didn’t fully believe what was happening until he finally asked, and words have never sounded as pretty as when you say: “Yes. Yes I would.”

Like lovesick idiots, you stand in front of the window with the snowfall as a backdrop, grinning at each other. You can’t help it – you lean up, press a kiss to his cheek that immediately sets his skin ablaze, and fall back onto your feet with a smile sweeter than all the sugar you’d consumed today.

“Merry Christmas, Spencer.”

Somehow, despite the nerves and the way his heart is trying to leap into your hands, he manages to tell you, “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

+++

(Three weeks later, Spencer meets the Mike. Turns out he’s a nice guy. Spencer takes the first opportunity he can to apologise for all the bad things he said about him behind his back. The purring tells Spencer he’s forgiven)

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @gublertoon @averyhotchner @prettyboy-reid @shadyladyperfection

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid imagine #genuinely if anyone reads this and has suggestions on how i can improve as a writer #and maybe as a person in general #pls message me #something about this feels OFF and i cant tell what

824 notes · View notes

readbythestarlight · 3 years

Text

c2e140

So okay is tonight the last episode? Because people keep saying it is basically and like while I’ve resigned myself to it ending I feel like if it ends tonight it’s gonna be VERY abrupt

I’ve been so distracted by the battle I forgot to type lol

That thing Caleb did with the glaive was intense tho and very clever

[[MORE]]

"I cast Marine Layer!!!" lol

I’m sorry HOW many attacks??

Jfc how is Veth still up

Don’t make her cut through the body of her wife wtf Matt

Oh thank goodness

Veth noooooo

"Lots of cover" says Caleb, who is trapped under a tower

E: "Caleb I need you!"

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m crying

YAAAAAS BABY

SAVING HIS MAN

"Press my forehead to his forehead" FUCKINGGGGGGGS

F O R E H E A D T O U C H

I’m going to cry forehead touches are my FAVORITE form of showing affection and intimacy

jester NO

This is starting to get frustrating as a fight come ON KILL HIM

Both of the clerics going down

Wonderful

Oh thank GOD he had death ward

Holding onto his maaaaaan

Caleb that’s smart very nice

Should have willed her to just live tho tbh

Fuck I need to sleep just as the fight has started to get interesting/stressful

Oh thank god that Cad had a diamond ready to bring her back

Oh no is it gonna fail??

FUCK

that’s the first time they’ve failed to bring someone back

OH MY GOD

MATTHEW YOU SON OF A BITCH

God the clerics are in BAD shape

Please stop picking on my kids

Cant Lucien and the Eyes just die

He’s down fuck

And Essek’s right there with him

Fuck

Oh thank GOD for that heal bless you Laura/Jester

Niiiiiice!

Oh daaaaamn Beau nice move

NAT20 YEAAHHHH

Marisha jumping up and down in her chair lol

Essek Gonna fuck him UP for hurting Caleb HELL yeah

Y’all I’m writing so much Shadowgast in my head

FUCK HIM UP BOIIIIIII

Babyyyyyyy

Plz don’t kill Essek

Essek nooooo

Oh thank god

Not my other BOYYYY

Okay okay oKAY GOOD

HOW is there still an hour and a half to go

Stop trying to kill my BOY

Babyyyy D:

Hey Matt why don’t you tell us what Essek saw

Did he see Caleb reaching out for him

Did he Matt

Did he

FUCK NOT AGAIN

CALEB NOOOO

God dammit

Fucking fuck

he’s DEAD

fucking hell

Essek get back to your man

Of course they can’t see him

Not that it matters because he’s dead

Fucking fuuuuuck

End this fight already I hate this

Come on Laura roll really good

YES

GO LAURA

GO JESTER

YAAAAAAAAAS

Y’all I literally shrieked

Holy shit y’all

Hoooolllyyyyy shit

Oh that’s both spooky and soft

Oh good the eyes are going too I’m glad

Bring him BACK

I’m begging

Revivify

Please oh gods please

(Essek please stand there in the background anxious)

Please god y’all can’t kill Liam’s character at the end of BOTH campaigns

God I was CONVINCED he was going to be perma-dead

“Insight check” I’m laughing through my tears

Somebody let Essek hug Caleb or something idk

What the

No way

I’m with Essek and Fjord here

“Once you’re a member of the Mighty Nein you’re in. You should know that by now.” Okay okay okay

Are we really gonna do this omg

Yoooooo go back for the bag!

Oh no

RIP the bag of holding

Fjord’s priorities are in the right place *nod*

Gonna have to have a one shot to find the lost U’kotoa eye I guess

NAT20 whoopWHOOP

Awww Fjorjester huuuuug they’re so wholesome

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this

Oh my godddddddd

What

Was it a 9???

What was it??

OH NO

A NAT1?? oh jeeze

That

That hurts

To have lost him a second time, basically

Ouch…

Essek now is not the time to be jealous, love

Fjord checking up on my boy

E: “It’s not fair. It’s not fair, you’ve all come so far. It’s just not fair.”

F: “It rarely is. You did more for us and for him than most anyone we know

“I spent my entire life studying with the intent to not let things like this happen to chance. That can’t be it, can it?”

F: “I don’t know, but if you ere to ask my wife friend Cad he’d tell you that life continues on. It changes, it elopes, it grows. I don’t think there’s an end…” couldn’t follow the rest but I’m crying a LOT

“You’ve shown me all I need to see” THANK YOU FJORD im crying so hard y’all

“Caleb Widowgast. Have you ever accepted defeat?”

“Hm. Maybe today for the first time. Or, well, a chance in direction anyway.”

Essek wants to help so bad y’all I’m cryin’

Oh dang Cad

HOLY

oh my god

02%

WILD

MOM

???

“Put it back. I think they’ve earned it. Put it back.”

Oh my goddddd

I feel better knowing it’s Taliesin’s choice

I’m gonna CRY

My GODDDSS

“I can’t deal with the emotional whiplash” GIRL SAME

“Your eyes open for the first time”

Holy

FUCK

“Bolts up and runs”

Oh my god y’all

My god

GROUP HUG HIM

Molly

Mollymauk

MOLLYMAUK

TEALEAF

not empty not empty no

Babyyyy

Fuck y’all I’m gonna cry

I’m gonna cry for real

I didn’t think I’d really be so happy to have him back

Holy SHIT y’all

Yeeeeees hug your man Caleb

This is so emotional I’m crying

“Empty” no baby

I’m so glad it wasn’t at the cost of us losing Caduceus

I love Cad so much

“I’m so tired”

“I think you have a bright future ahead of you”

I’m crying over everyone being so sweet to Essek <3

“You’re always welcome at my house”

Y’all I’m gonna BAWL next week

Literally gonna just weep for however many hours it lasts

#cr spoilers #emi watches critical role #critical role #critical role spoilers

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leamy-world · 3 years

Text

Some afterthoughts on The Devil Judge (spoilers for all the drama!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well!!

I wanted to write my thoughts after the finale aired because ep. 13-14 made me a mess and were too nerve-wracking! After these two episodes, i only wanted the week to go by fast to see how the finale unfolded (but at the same time, this drama entertained me sm i didn’t want it to end haha).

Watching this drama each week and reading your reactions and thoughts made me enjoy it even more, i’m glad i came back on tumblr! It was a really nice ride (more like an emotional rollercoaster haha)! It motivated me to write my thoughts and analyses on fictions i watched in the future, especially My Mister and Beyond Evil!! I forgot how much fun it was to do that and putting my thoughts into words gave me a little closure to my watch haha

These are just some afterthoughts & personal interpretations i had and were maybe probably already discussed, but i couldn’t get them out of my head haha

See you around and take care!!!

THE CAST. It left a strong impression on me and i can’t see other actors playing their respective roles!

— Yohan portrayed by Ji Sung … i have no words, this devil judge left me speechless! His character, to his Devilish Smile (and hollow laugh in front of CKH and his son, or Gaon), his variating voice intonations (like damn, he’s a living ASMR like Lee Sung Kyung), his held back emotions and touch-starved and even desperate touches when it came to Elijah and Gaon, to his rage and unhinged moments!

I winced seeing him contort in pain when Sunah revealed Elijah accidentally lit the church fire, and the two times he hugged Elijah totally destroyed me. His last scene with Gaon showed how gazes & micro-expressions alone could convey unspoken words as strongly. I’m weak for these kinds of scenes, My Mister for example did it and killed me haha

For this post, i rewatched some scenes and damn, Elijah and Yohan’s support of Gaon after Soohyun’s death was really emotional …

(They had no business in making Gaon have this kind of dream, those german scissors left a ... strong impression on him haha)

— Kim Min Jung’s depiction of Sunah’s was hauntingly beautiful, a femme fatale who kept a broken child deep inside (and at the same time surfacing on her manners and personality) and a strong businesswoman. It’s a fascinating character i loved hating as a villain but still sympathized with. The scene where she murdered the former foundation’s president sent me chills down my spine (i still have her shot of her, sitting at his bureau and manipulating his speech video)!

The melancholy slipping through her facade when she visited the mansion the first time in a while, as well as her devastation in front of the President’s scheme, by the young girl’s bed at the hospital were memorable. The tension between her and Yohan was incredible: they both managed to keep a very disturbing but enthralling aura, tangled with nostalgia at the same time each time they met.

(Looking at her reflection is a recurring pattern for Sunah’s character, i found this shot above interesting, divided in the two ends of the mirror, as if her self can’t be found on the other side anymore)

— This was the first time i saw a drama with Jin Young and i really loved his playing! Never thought I’d say one day i enjoyed someone’s tears and rage on screen, but his crying scenes stuck with me, especially in the prison yard and the last episode (he deserves therapy after all he went through, really) … And his letter to Elijah … (i’m glad nobody harshly revealed the truth to her, i’m really glad!)

I loved to see how his gaze evolved through this journey with Yohan. His endearment to Soohyun, Elijah and Yohan was very precious ;; Even though Yohan was the one who was first seen feeling lonely, Gaon’s loneliness since his parents’ death slipped through his seemingly fine world, i found that interesting! (And on a lighter note, i’ll always remember the truth behind Mrs. Ji’s cooking, Gaon’s epic reaction, and the pure comedy she gets to own a healthy food shop thanks to Yohan!!)

I also enjoyed his supportive friendship with Jinjoo!!

— Park Gyu Young’s acting was also on point! It’s really too bad she didn’t get more screen time because i wanted to know more about Soohyun!! I felt robbed haha, because when TDJ began airing, they introduced her as one of the ‘main’ characters of this story ;; The scene when she was on CKH’s suicide scene really left a mark on me + when she was confronting Yohan, especially after she took Elijah out!

— Elijah. Just Elijah, our best girl!!! Apparently it’s one of Jeon Chae Eun’s first roles, she did so well!! Along with Ji Sung and Jin Young, she gave a whole new definition to the Domestic Scenes, i swear. These scenes will keep a special place in my heart for a long time! Her adorable smile and cheekiness were a refresher in this show!

(They could change TDJ’s concept in a second season and make us a domestic slice of life series, i wouldn’t mind AT ALL! Take my money!!)

Seeing her complicated relationship with her uncle unfold before us deeply moved me. The complete loneliness she silently depicted moving to her bed in the wheelchair, after Gaon left the mansion was heart-wrenching. And also the scenes after Soohyun’s death, hurting with Yohan seeing Gaon’s pain (the way she spoke her worry for the two of them, Yohan couldn’t let the words out properly to Gaon).

— CKH’s character, played by Jang Young Nam, was amazing. Her acting already shattered me when i watched Nobody Knows! Her cold gaze, her harsh tone, she was badass i have to admit!

The narcissistic rage was well depicted in her character, and even though i get where many’s opinions on her death come from (i share it too sometimes, but i feel it more for Sunah), i found this final decision fitting to the character, especially if you look how she treated her own son (each hold felt like a grip from rage eg. in ep. 3, as she maybe felt her son was the cause of her demise).

(HUGE SPOILERS FOR BEYOND EVIL BELOW!!!!)

She reminded me of HKH’s ending: seeing his path to success was crushed with no way out of it except death on his own accord (in his eyes, because it was his absolute life aim, every single being, to his own wife and son, and means, even bending the justice independence, were his expendable ways to pave his path), HJW’s father was set on suicide before his son barged in.

(Funnily enough, the filming spot for CKH’s house is the same for HKH’s house haha)

— And also … Lawyer don’t-worry-i’ll-get-you-out-on-probation Ko deserves a round of applause for the best lawyer he is hahaha

THE STORY’S DEVELOPMENTS (AND SCRIPT). I feel like this story could very well have been developed on 20+ episodes! Even if i know some scenes in a script are sometimes (bound to be) cut in the drama, TDJ’s script leaks make me feel there was SO much more to be told, and so much more to explain some plot events in the airing drama!

Because the story was ambitious, both character and plot(twists which give you whiplash)-driven (and also the filming context with the pandemic), i feel like some choices were made.

The lines of thought about justice and the drama’s attempts at its ‘true’ definition are not lost on me. It was really interesting!

On a side note (there will be many, bear with me haha), the symbolic behind the app’s name, DIKE, which i’m pretty sure (correct me if i’m wrong, i only have some very rough basics in korean haha) is the korean romanization of Nikè, or in ancient greek Νίκη, the greek divinity of Victory ( ‘ㄴ’ in korean sounds like an ’n’ but its pronounciation is more abrupt/brisker, to the point of what could be sounding to ears like a ‘d’).

Nikè is most of the time represented as an attribute to other greek divinities who also embody the victory eg. Zeus or Athena, thus seen as a bestower of victory (in any domain, be it war, games = interestingly enough, the live court is set in a colosseum-like room, arts, …) to the humanity on behalf of these gods (Nikè sometimes stands in her palm as an attribute of Athena, like the owl or the helmet). But sometimes Nikè was also revered an independent protective divinity.

Nikè is represented as a winged divinity in a long robe, flying above the victorious, assisting the humans in their works/challenges eg. handing them a laurel crown as a sign of victory, or a helmet, etc. Its mostly known representation is the Winged Victory of Samothrace (or The Nike of Samothrace) sculpture in the Louvre. The brand Nike also used it in its logo.

It calls back to Yohan’s line: « I make sure i win before the game starts », and in fact, since the beginning, unbeknownst to everybody witnessing the trials and participating to them, the app was his way to win. It foreshadows the ending of the story, Yohan finally taking down the foundation. It also adds to his god/devil image: he assumes the role of the intermediary/abyss of the « gods » (the Justice), taking in all the hubris of the society in order to bring the justice (well, guess we could say it put some hold to the cycle of the powerful culminating to chaos?) back, in some sort of catharsis through DIKE.

It might be a stretch, but Nikè’s winged representation could be found on Gaon’s tattoo (at first to me, it looked like a phoenix/winged angel, which symbolizes a ‘reincarnation’/new beginning for Yohan finding peace, a second chance to his past and Elijah thanks to Gaon & Gaon finding a new world even if his first crumbled ie. his parents and Soohyun’s death and professor Min’s betrayal).

(The whole virus plot by the end of the story made me feel a little uncomfortable given the actual context and the conspiracy theories that are spreading, but it wasn’t used carelessly and served the commentary of the powerful and how far they would go, i think? That said, a fiction, especially a dystopia like this, stays a fiction but when they used it, it gave me a forced laugh haha)

Now, if someone gets to translate some script bits, i’m really looking forward to:

K’s backstory!!!!!

Isaac and Yohan’s past!!!!

More about Elijah!!

Where’s the cat???

What was the script saying for Gaon and Yohan’s confrontation in ep. 12? When Yohan faced the window, waking up from a nightmare after Gaon left?

ABOUT SOOHYUN’S BACKSTORY. (Now, this will get long, i’m sorry but i needed to let my thoughts out haha) The drama introduced her as one of the four main characters with Gaon, Yohan and Sunah. I had so many expectations for her character! Especially from the three scenes we got of her:

➔ In the first episode, we see her save a young girl in the street from two men, looking up at the poster « A safe Korea will be realized from now on. »: it was a great introduction to the blatant lie of the ‘safe’ dystopian world that was being created in the story. It also showed how Soohyun felt in front of this insecure world. A side note, but seeing her hug the young girl like that reminded me the hugs she gave Gaon: she wanted to protect him from this unjust world with all her might (especially the scene in the restaurant where she hugs him). ➔ Her two confrontations with Juk Chang! ➔ Her dilemma and emotional turmoil when she erases Gaon’s presence in CKH’s office.

She was portrayed in the story as Gaon’s pillar since his parents’ tragic death and his moral compass. She’s the lawful citizen, despite feeling helpless to the world’s changes, who hopes it could be saved as long as the rule of law is preserved by everyone, and this begins by respecting it themselves.

But she was not standing around and i kind of regret this was not shown more in the story: she kept doing her best in the « system », fighting from the inside the injustice hoping the little changes could make a difference someday. Because she couldn’t take Yohan’s path, in no way: the system/the law must be respected for it to be sustained. And i’m glad they addressed this point in the drama: Yohan chose to take on the role nobody wanted or even dared to assume, knowing fully well he became a criminal the second he began his plans (just as lawyer Ko said he was no longer a lawyer once he sided with him).

This must not be glorified, nor vilified. As he said, it was a choice he decided to make. She mirrors his choices to some extent and i would have loved to see more of their interactions or her thoughts about that! And how she worked through the system to change things, her vision of the justice. They showed us the flashback of her career choice in high school, and it could have been interesting to learn more about her!

A backstory about her saving the youth and meeting Sunah by accident would have been very interesting (given Sunah knew all about her since the beginning and ordered to kill her). Their meeting wouldn’t have foreshadowed Sunah’s plans, quite the opposite, and it would have given more ‘substance’ to her plans. We were robbed of this relationship haha!

And of course, seeing her side with Yohan & Gaon for a short while (because seeing her team up with them all along the way could’ve been a little ooc) would have been dope. Her arresting Juk Chang while the two of them stop the gang was the closest thing we had to their teamwork ;;

Among the drama’s main focuses (the self-pity of the powerful and the never-ending cycle of their greed, the power displays it ensues which come in many forms in the system’s game), the conception of justice was developed all along the drama. It would have been really interesting to see whether Soohyun’s conception of justice could have changed in her own way!

And professor Min’s potential manipulation of Soohyun!!! Some scenes on their interactions could have been nice to see and explain why she focused solely on Yohan, the only side of the whole story she knew! Her reporting to the professor about her investigation (and him feeling she got too close to the truth) would have made sense because, as she saw Gaon growing apart from her as he was getting closer to the Kangs (especially since she saw him interact with Elijah when they invited her to the café, like Sunah saw how Gaon fit in their family at the dinner scene), she would’ve wanted to protect him without him knowing because she knew it’d have hurt him. It could have paralleled Gaon’s reports on Yohan to the professor at the beginning of the drama. And that could have explained (aside from the whole love triangle dynamics they had) her reluctance to tell Gaon Yohan was the one who told her his whereabouts when he was in danger in ep. 13 ; this scene also was one of the only moments addressing the lack of communication in their relationship. Seeing her feeling confused over Yohan could have been interesting!

(This also got me wondering whether in the script, Yohan’s injury was ever addressed.)

Also, i’m curious about her family, if the script mentions something about them: did they know Gaon?

About the loveline between Gaon and Soohyun: while the friendship could have stayed as is (it already felt pretty genuine in my opinion and strong friendships also deserve to be portrayed in stories), i’m convinced this drama wanted to set Gaon as the center of a subtext love & morality triangle between Soohyun and Yohan (and K and Sunah on Yohan’s part). I think i would’ve appreciated Gaon and Soohyun’s loveline so much more if they developed it more! And it had to develop in the very same episode she died: apart from the confession and kiss scene (i’m curious about the scene’s description in the script), the flashback of their moments, seen from Gaon’s pov, came just right in to ‘explain’ it!

Of course it wasn’t the main focus of the story and there was already so much happening, but their new relationship development and her death almost had no impact on me even if it was set as a turning point for Gaon (and K for Yohan, as a cement to their respective decision to fight the system and how they would do it), and it made me really really sad! Of course it was a plot device (and i now wonder what would’ve happened if she or K wasn’t dead), but if it was bound to happen, the emotional impact was lessened!

Jinjoo’s character development and her relationship with Sunah happened really really fast, and i wonder how the script describes it!

Sunah’s involvement with the juvenile care center!!! Her scene at the hospital left me really sad.

(Also, on the love plot, Gaon and Yohan jealousy bits weren’t used later as an expression of their envy towards the other’s status/life/etc. and were actually directed to people outside ie. Sunah/K/Soohyun in the plot, which makes me think they really wanted to set it as a love triangle!)

ABOUT SUNAH’S DEATH. I feel really really conflicted on this point. Her story was a parallel to CKH (and of course Yohan, i’ll talk about it below): two women — coming from totally opposite backgrounds — climbing their way up by their own means in this power circle. And despite all their accomplishments unnoticed (because they were the ones seeing through their plans while the others were mainly seen tearing each other into pieces), they could still be ruthlessly ejected from this world any day, part of it because they were belittled as women all the same, and chose to end her life on her own accord, still having agency over it.

As someone else pointed it out, it also acts as a « poetic » retribution for her murder of Soohyun and K. BUT her exiting the scene in some other way staying alive could have contrasted with CKH’s suicide (especially since she overthrew the president who was the only one on her side getting in her way and even killed him in the end). Especially in a show that deals about how the justice can be carried out!

Of course, Yohan and Sunah were a foil to each other in their respective fights and traumatic past: the drama showed us how having someone to reach out to and protect (Elijah, Isaac and Gaon to Yohan ; Soohyun, Yohan and Elijah to Gaon) can become a driving force. Sunah, despite thinking this could be a weakness, also longed for companionship (from Yohan mainly, but also from Jaehee), and had no one to stop her crossing the line and preserve her from herself and the world. At least someone hearing her story, staying by her side and trying to understand her.

Each time she said ‘can you be a little nicer to me?’ to Yohan made me feel for her (and also that one call with Jaehee), it was the only cries of loneliness she silently let out!

On a totally random note, i would have loved to see her interact more with Gaon (especially by the end of ep. 15, when Yohan was arrested)!

The story gladly didn’t end Yohan’s traumatic past and growth in death, but what about Sunah? In any case, Sunah was a really good and complex character, i enjoyed her character!

What about Jaehee? How did she react to Sunah’s death???

What about CKH’s family after her death???

I would have loved to hear more about Sunah’s plans as well! Scenes where she would play with Gaon for example (in Yohan’s presence or not, like at the photoshoot)!

(This comment above foreshadowed, along with the dinner scene in ep. 11, she used him all along!)

Her involvement behind the scenes was only exposed in ep. 15 but i wanted to know more about her (motivations aside from her focus on Yohan, what did she plan to do before finding out a look-alike to Isaac, ...)! Given the elements in the plot, i get the idea she planned this whole business with the foundation first to reach the top and wanted to bring Yohan up with her (eg. leading the foundation or becoming the president) or down without her along the way, because she wanted his companionship. Maybe the script expands on it more? Did she really believe in the Dream Home project? Because as we saw her speech in the juvenile care center and her strong reaction to the youth being harmed in these schemes, i believe she kinda wanted to protect them as the best revenge on her past, because nobody could do it for her?

THE ENDING SCENE. The ending was pretty good and didn’t give us an all-out tragedy, so i’m really glad! I still can’t believe Gaon was ready to blow his life away once he learnt Yohan’s death AND wanted to die with him (falsely) realizing Yohan wouldn’t change his mind, dead set on his decision (no pun intended!). And Yohan’s reaction to this ............... Now, their last scene is left to the viewers’ interpretation, but it felt to me like a new beginning to Yohan and Gaon’s relationship! As it was already said by many people on tumblr, Yohan wasn’t sure if Gaon would still be by his side despite it all, and he didn’t expect Gaon to feel this way. They’ll definitely meet again, it’s a promise of more in the future (especially Yohan’s nod, on the verge of tears and Gaon’s two relieved/endeared smiles, full of forgiveness). Gaon will join his new world once he’s done or they’ll come back to him once Elijah’s recovered.

And this game of hide and seek/hunt reflected their relationship development: Yohan felt unattainable at first, but he chased after him in the maze that was his devilish game, symbolized by the crowd, chasing him motivated by his suspicion, curiosity, anger and hate, disbelief and disappointment, empathy, worry, affection, desperation and love, until he finally reached him and they understood each other among all the crowd, living metaphorically in the same time, facing each other on the same (ground) level.

(A scene in the first episode, Gaon seeing a maze of Yohan’s reflections, maybe symbolizing he could not see through his facade in the beginning, being an enigma to him at first sight ; the choice of the reflections in the mirrors through the drama is interesting and reflects the story: depending on the angles, a story can hold as many meanings as there are points of view, the complete image surfacing once everybody’s story is told)

(Just like how, in ep. 4, Yohan shows Gaon the wicked system right under their noses, Gaon’s enraged and confused gaze directed right at Yohan after they all block his view by clinking glasses ; Yohan hoped he would understand what lies beneath but Gaon understands it fully through his own past in ep. 7-8)

(The crowd is cleared from their/our view in the final scene, leaving the two of them facing each other without any obstacle/reflection on their path)

Gaon kept Yohan’s watch all the time even in moments of doubt, sorrow and rage (the best PPL in drama history so far haha), Yohan finally got to Gaon and entered his world as Soohyun did, reaching out when he needed it the most, to stop him doing something he would regret deeply. It was symbolized by the scar he got on his left hand from preventing Gaon from stabbing him (that’s also why he caresses his scar in a bittersweet way, lost in thoughts, reminding him of their last meeting).

As @i-guess-it-rains said + according to the BTS’ editing (it passed off as a joke but i can’t erase it from my brain now haha), the way the scene where Yohan defused Gaon’s bomb was framed looked at the same time like Yohan was also carefully handling Gaon’s heart (the bomb countdown clock radiating a red glow on his chest), on the verge of exploding. Now i have The Nights lyrics in my head haha (« My heart is going back to you, i just don’t know »)

On another note, i realized that in ep. 12, after Gaon left, he’s seen trying to call Soohyun in order to reach for her since their last confrontation, but right before, his finger glides over his contact, hesitating on Yohan’s contact before choosing to call Soohyun.

While in ep. 8, he only reaches out to Soohyun after his breakdown in the prison yard (without thinking to call Yohan because he was in the core of his doubts and pain at that time and needed space to reflect on all the events):

And it parallels to Sunah attempting to reach out to Jaehee in her loneliness at the top, hesitating before deciding to call her.

Now i hope TDJ will be on Netflix! It’d be very nice to get to watch the drama in high quality and have more people to see it!

I heard it got a webtoon adaptation so i also look forward to it once it will be translated!

A SECOND SEASON? When i first saw the ending, i thought it got wrapped up nicely and didn’t « need » another season, but it also left some parts open and laid out a new background for further developments (the system repeats itself but in another form, Yohan leaves the scene with his signature smile, maybe up to something else again, saying metaphorically or irl to Gaon he’ll come back if he doesn’t do well), kinda like Stranger/Forest of Secrets s1 or The Guest ending (the corruption doesn’t end there). I also heard it got high viewing rates in SK, so maybe it will be taken into account? And well, i’ll miss the cast so i would welcome the idea haha

THE SOUNDTRACK. The whole OST was stellar (and their titles are on point really!)! Getting to hear it without voices or noise over and with my headphones on made me realize it was even more beautiful! Because I Have You, Warmth That Melts Loneliness and If Only… are the end of me (especially If Only aaaaaaa)! Don’t get me started on Enemy of Truth’s title to the OST playing for the church fire because it’s devastating ;;;

If Only’s title … It leaves us filling in the blank space, the dots to Gaon’s thoughts when he learns about Yohan’s past and how it impacts him to this day.

The 4 songs were amazing (there’s also Different from the Outside but i still didn’t get its lyrics). Tempest was definitely etched in my mind as TDJ’s main theme haha And The Nights was my favorite!

➔ Tempest was Yohan’s iconic theme and depicted his lonely path to revenge after the tragic events in his life, and his (fated) encounter with Gaon, how deeply it will change him in this journey in ways he didn’t expect. It perfectly introduces (with Chet Faker and Flume’s Drop the game) and concludes the drama!

➔ What you gonna do was THE revenge epic song making everyone revel in the ‘bad guys’ despair and Yohan’s badass moves!

➔ The Nights felt like it was both Yohan and Gaon’s theme and Gaon’s sorrow after Soohyun’s death: at first i thought it was only Yohan’s, but his revenge and the last episodes proved me wrong! The song’s lyrics mirrored themselves (‘my/your night shines on you/me’), as if a complete understanding between Yohan and Gaon was found on their dark road. Yohan’s night shines on Gaon: Yohan’s broken past and all his misunderstood or hidden sides, his dedication to Elijah. Yohan’s rage (almost wrath since the biblical and god symbolism are there haha) and desire to take the inique system down waked Gaon’s own rage, buried deep inside, and made him move forward too. Gaon’s night shines on Yohan: all the time he spent with the Kangs, Gaon’s deep empathy and understanding, helping him reconnect with his niece, their dinners at night, his rage exploding when the truth about his parents was revealed, his desperation on the last two episodes (in ep. 15, seeing Gaon’s realization everything was a lie and Yohan was innocent, and in ep. 16, Gaon wanting to die by his side). Gaon’s night also shined on Soohyun, who wanted to protect him with all she got each time she saw him crumbling down.

There was still light on their dark road (which looks like a callback to Nightmare’s lyrics, « Save me from myself / Save me from this darkness that has lost its light »).

➔ Nightmare felt like it was Yohan and Sunah’s theme. When it last played when Sunah’s death happened on screen, it left me speechless (and if i remember correctly, the ‘save me from myself’ bit was played right when she shot herself … o u c h)!

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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hell why the fuck not, have this post about macbeth I wrote during my intense two weeks of fixation this summer, I just found it in my drafts lol. tl;dr: macbeth is actually a dark dark comedy and I am right about this

- I love macbeth as a character so much because -- you know that excellent post that keeps going around, about how switching main characters between the tragedies would avert the whole plot and stop it from becoming a tragedy? (I think the initial example in that post is hamlet and othello) well, I honestly don’t think there’s any plot macbeth would fix, because he’s so gloriously, amazingly self-perpetuating in his disasterness. like give him free reins and hamlet still probably ends in exactly the same amount of carnage, just by different roads. *mwah* it’s perfect

- I don’t think I’ve ever seen/heard the part with hecate and the weird sisters before, and let me just say that it cracks. me. up. that she’s like ‘that one? you’re wasting time and baboon’s blood on that one? ladies l a d i e s he barely even needed the push, if you’d just waited a few years he would’ve jumped off that slippery slope all on his own and you could’ve been doing something USEFUL in the meantime’

- another thing that cracks me up: the fact that literally no one buys the macbeths’ story at any point. they’re all being real polite about it because they’re in their house and macbeth probably has a hand on his sword and an increasingly wild look in his eyes the whole time, but n o n e of them are buyin any of this lol

- after macbeth has spoken to the witches for the second time and he decides that actually, you know what my problem has been this entire time? thinking things through TOO much before I do them. from now on I am living from impulse to murdery impulse baBEY get in losers you’re going slaughtering (slash bird hunting ;____;). *chef kiss emoji* like what a takeaway from his current predicament, what a treasure of a character, what an absolute self-driving trainwreck of a man, I realize I am a couple of centuries late but I LOVE him

- I have found such a deep well of hatred within myself for macduff this time around. you know what? his wife is right about him just leaving them for the slaughter like the world’s biggest asshole and then being all manpain-y about it, I can’t believe mama macduff probably died by caesarean section for this sorry waste of a man

- I have always liked the reading that the macbeths used to have a child who died -- it adds a level to the whole thing that really gets to me. it even gives more meaning to the death of young siward; macbeth spends the whole play murdering (or trying to murder, sick moves fleance) other people’s sons. it also perfectly brings out the immense feeling of senselessness that winds through the whole play -- they’re sullying their hands for all this power and it has no future, it never had a future, they have no children anymore. (also I don’t think their ambitions become any less immoral for being a symptom of unprocessed grief, or that it lessens the theme of how self-perpetuating evil can be once you let it get rolling, it’s just a more complex and human starting point)

- the perfect agony of lady macbeth starting the play with her grand dreams of ‘sovereign sway and masterdom’ and ending it on her last lines wanting nothing more in this world than for her husband to take her hand and come back to bed with her so they can sleep... good ol’ billy boy knew what he was about huh

- like I said I kind of despise macduff (macbeth is objectively much worse as a person but he gets his comeuppance and also I love him) but I do feel bad for the sheer emotional whiplash of that scene where malcolm is first jerking him around to Test him and then he gets the news about his family. he must’ve just looked at malcolm for a moment like ‘...pls say sike again your highness???🥺’ - listen I don’t want to victim blame here, but at the beginning king duncan did ask that dude ‘so what’s up with this macbeth fella’ and that dude was like ‘I’d say his main trait is that he is capable of committing bloody carnage without hesitation’ and duncan was just like ‘:) aw that sounds lovely I think I’ll go to his sleepover tonight’

- I Do Not Understand why people would play banquo without humour when one of his first lines is literally a joke along the lines of ‘wow bro did we smoke something, are you seeing this too’, why would you make him all Stately and Dignified when the text suggests much more of a jovial likability. (in general this play has a lot of darkly funny lines; a bunch of macbeth’s dialogue has a grim deadpan comedy to it and finding someone who understands that when they play him is a treasure.)

#shakespeare #macbeth #I also went into some stuff about the actual historical macbeth for a few days and surprise: it had p much nothing to do with this at all #classic bill lol #it should tell you something about the state I was in around july that I was listening to different audio versions of this play #over and over again #because it was the only thing that seemed to make any sense to me. macbeth goes 'tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow'#and I sat there wild eyed after too much coffee like 'he's saying what we're all thinking'#the underlying slow unstoppable horror of that play had me nodding my head b/c yeah that seems about right

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squad51goals · 4 years

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Okay, 4x9:

-There’s more than usual ‘Shut up, Chet’ kinda stuff in this one, but ’I didn’t know slightly demented firemen drove a special kind of car’ is pretty funny.

-There’s a bed in the back of Johnny’s Land Rover? For camping, or trying to get some action? (Or both?) If it’s the latter, we may have a clue as to why he keeps getting the brush-off, jeez, at least have an indoor bed at hand, dude.

-The frat house rescue: When Johnny and Roy were in training for this job, I bet neither of them ever envisioned ‘pulling raw liver out of an unconscious man’s throat while surrounded by a bunch of other guys in diapers’ but here we are.

-Dixie in Full Rant Mode is always fun -- when she hangs up after talking to O’Brien, she really looks like she’s about to curse. And clearly Brackett has seen her and O’Brien go several rounds of this argument before.

-(Her ‘typing’ during the ‘banging out a Very Pissed-Off Letter on this typewriter’ bit looks like random keysmashing though, which makes it somehow even funnier)

-And Dix goes from ‘writing letter so ferocious it kinda scares Brackett’ straight to consoling that freaked-out woman = emotional whiplash

-At the station: Lookit these two idiots who are seriously having second thoughts about this whole car-trade thing but don’t want to admit it. And then Chet shows up to troll them.

-Everyone offering cures for Early’s hiccups, nobody listening to the kid, and the kid finally just fetching some damn soda. Was Dixie’s sudden little crack-up and ‘He looks like an elephant’ scripted, or did Julie London lose it for a second and they left it in because it worked? (And wow she had an endearingly dorky full-out grin.)

-OH SHIT O’Brien shows up and here’s where ‘this is the least believeable thing I’ve seen on this show’ enters: Because a Man in Authority who’s been challenged repeatedly by a woman who’s also a subordinate is sure as hell not likely to offer that woman a promotion. He’d be way more likely to find ways to give her shit unlimited for however long they were both there.

-(Maybe O’Brien is trying to promote Dix to shove her out of the ER without it looking like retaliation/hoping she’d fail at the increased responsibility and he could fire her -- but if so they really didn’t put it across very well.)

-Dix rather spacily checking out her prospective office and I was just imagining her train of thought: Don’t really want this promotion. Nice setup, though. Window and everything. A couch, could be useful, I could sneak Kel up here when we’re both on break and -- oh, what the hell am I even thinking?

-At the station: Did no one ever tell Johnny not to talk with his mouth full? (Hey, are the 2nd or 3rd dates women always seem to dump him after dinner dates by any chance?) And is Cap’s ‘Don’t look at me -- my wife drives an Edsel’ one of Michael Norell’s ad-libs?

-The basketball player stuck in the car is a very plausible WTF and there are also some great potential double entendres in this scene. (I lost it right around when Johnny starts talking about how delicate he can be with his tool.)

-So Dix turns down the promotion and O’Brien is just...okay with this, and never mentions it again, and I’m pretty sure we never hear about him or their conflict ever again? Least Believeable Thing, I’m telling you.

-At the station: Johnny, if you’ve ‘seen that woman on that same corner for years’ the odds she’s a sex worker and was waving cos she figured ‘guy in sports car = disposable $, possible client’ are likely higher than zero, is all I’m saying. (Which somehow makes Chet’s ‘Maybe she thought you were Roy’ even funnier.)

-And suddenly the drawbridge accident slams us from that into something really seriously harrowing like holy shit. The guys climbing up that severely tilted bridge with ropes is surreal. (I don’t like heights so this one really freaks me out.)

-At the station: ’Isn’t it something how you can form an attachment to a piece of machinery?’ one engaging dingbat says to the other engaging dingbat who bought an antique fire engine with him. (And they finally admit they don’t want to trade cars.)

#emergency!#overanalysing

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stray-tori · 4 years

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An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :(((

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message

why

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

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guacameowle · 6 years

Text

V’s After End - Notes / Opinion

Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled.

Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.

Journey below at your own risk! xx

Episode 1

80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.

JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)

So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!

Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)

Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???

The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.

JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*

JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.

This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.

If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...

WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!

Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.

Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.

It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…

Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.

You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.

NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!

“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.

Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::

OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...

Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?

Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.

Episode 2

Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:

Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.

Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.

SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!

Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.

“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.

RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!

“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.

This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.

Ray deserved better. Full stop.

Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.

For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.

Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?

Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.

Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::

God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.

Episode 3

Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.

First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.

Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.

Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.

Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.

The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.

Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?

THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.

Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.

“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.

Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.

“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.

“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.

The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.

DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????

Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.

VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.

YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.

“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.

Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.

Episode 4

My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.

She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!

Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…

Jumin is getting shit DONE.

2 years flashback. ????

Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?

What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!

IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS “STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!

Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈

Episode 5

I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.

Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.

“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.

I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.

I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.

Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.

These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji::

Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.

These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.

Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.

SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!

THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!

Still on “FORGIVE” path.

Episode 6

Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.

SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!

10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.

“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo

Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.

How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...

Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!

V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT?

MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!

Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.

I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.

“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.

Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.

If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.

Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.

Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!

BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

“FORGIVE” Ending

This song is hauntingly beautiful.

Who is this speaking?

Is Rika high right now wtf?!

God is a woman.

I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.

Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!

Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.

NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.

So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)

Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.

Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk

Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!

Twin cribs. Hmmm.

2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!

2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.

Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.

“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.

His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.

Omg I think it’s happening.

It’s gonna happen.

OMGGGGG

Please let there be a CG of this

IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!

LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE

Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗

Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.

5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)

*gasp* A BABY!

Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.

Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!

YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!!

“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.

“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.

Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.

Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.

Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀

THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!

“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.

“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?

Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.

Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.

I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii

7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.

Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo

What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.

Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!

Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.

What.

100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End

“JUDGE” Ending

No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.

Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?!

Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????

Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop.

I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.

Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.

Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.

Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.

So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?

Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?

What the fuck... is going on.

Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?

This ending is fucking bonkers

Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.

Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.

Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?

Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?

& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.

You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.

Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.

Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????

Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.

Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.

So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.

Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.

When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later.

Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.

I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending.

In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end.

In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor? It all left a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.

These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.

Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?

Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.

Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her.

I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite.

I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.

On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.

Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.

With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.

I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.

I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.

While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now.

If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.

The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all.

I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.

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kurtty-drabbles · 5 years

Text

Miss you love au

N/A: Kurt, suffer. In this au, Brian never dates Meggan, for once, Courtney is a good person in this story. Meggan is a proud Lesbian and only Kurt is too dumb to not notice. Also, yes, Kitty is an adult.

Miss you love Please, listen to this song...it what inspires me to make this drabble aside of my hate for canon.

@djinmer4 @sailorstar9 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

Excalibur is facing a blistering day. In fact, the weather makes impossible for most heroes to stay in the gears, everyone but Rachel Grey, who is content in wearing her traditional red leather uniform, the rest? Is making a compromise.

Meggan is wearing something fresh for the day, sweat is blasting her blond hair and she´s drinking as much of water as possible, Brian, her good friend, is also complaining about the weather. "The air conditioner has to be broken today?!"

Brian Braddock aka Captain Britain is not wearing his usual shirt and is trying with all his might to fix the air conditioner, with no success, Meggan is waving him off using an old magazine. "Hey, gentle giant, how the fight between you and the machine?"

Brian is frowing. "I think the machines don´t like me, Meggan, is impossible to fix this" he explained and Meggan in good humour just punch the machine and suddenly the machine is working again. "Well, machines like you"

Kurt is trying to gain Meggan´s attention, who in return, is making her conversation with Brian take each minute as she can. Kurt tries to gain her attention by mention the mail, but, Meggan suddenly has the need to take Brian´s arm and go inside the house with him.

Rachel, with her red leather uniform, is busy talking on the phone. Scott is pretty serious about "no mental call, use the phone next time"

As Kurt is ignored, again. His cellphone rings a familiar tone that belongs to one person. The song is a private joke among them and it makes Kurt smiles as he knows Kitty has the same song for him on her cellphone.

"Hallo, elf, how are you in this fine night or morning?" Kitty asked and Kurt can close her eyes and feel she´s here with him. Pleasantries are exchanged as Kurt explains how the day is too hot ("No, Katzchen is not a euphemism...although I´m indeed hot" "Kurt, are you shirtless?")

"Elf, do you really meant what you said last week?" her tone is now serious and Kurt can really picture her, pouting, twirling one of her loose locks and feeling her fluffiest hair in all the fluffy.

"Of course, I´ll love to have you here, you´re my best friend, Katzchen" His tone is soft and he can hear her breathing on the other side of the phone.

"Then...yes, I´ll join Excalibur with you, elf" and Kurt gives some additional details about her entrance and only when Kitty hang up the phone that he realized he did spend the entire conversation with closed eyes picturing Kitty Pryde with her Garfield sweater.

____________________________________

Kitty Pryde was marked to arrive on 12 of May, however, thanks to the efficiency of the Airport and good weather, Kitty Pryde arrives in England way earlier.

Rachel Grey give a hug on Kitty Pryde. "Still with the cool outfit, Grey?" "Still with Garfield, Pryde?" a joke among friends and that makes her presence in Excalibur be even more welcome.

Brian shakes hands with Kitty Pryde. The man was polite enough with Kitty and Kitty can see his the leader, yet, Kurt shows up and is between Brian and Kitty.

"Katzchen, you´re here" there´s a different tone in his voice. Kurt's palms her face gentle and Brian never saw Kurt acting in such way before. "You choose to be here"

Kitty offers a nice smile. "Of course, elf, you´re not going get rid of me"

Meggan arrives at the scene and watches as the new woman finally notices Meggan. A smile is on her cute face and Meggan´s hair turn into a lovely shade of pink.

"Hi, I´m Meggan, I´m a super hero...and I can shapeshifter," Meggan said bluntly and Brian and Rachel are amused, Kurt is not seen why those two are so amused, and Kitty is impressed.

"You´re Gloriana!" Kitty speaks in her trademark tone putting her arms on her waist "the amazing Gloriana that is the strongest member of Excalibur and in the MI-13" and to be really unfair on Meggan flashes a cute smile and now Meggan is completely pink.

"That´s Meggan, she´s Brian´s girl" Kurt speaks to Kitty and Meggan takes offence of that.

"I´m no one girls and Brian has a girlfriend, Kurt, and I´m really single," she said looking at Kitty and Kurt notice the whiplash in her tone. Brian laughs at Kurt and explained how he meet Meggan, turns out, his stupid jealousy was even stupider as Brian is dating Courtney Ross and...most importantly, a fact that Kurt was too dumb to notice before.

"I´m gay, Kurt," she said as Rachel is laughing at taking photos of this moment. Kitty is left in the dark and prefers to not know what Kurt did in the past. Meggan looks at Kitty a bit afraid and she can understand this fear very well

"Oh, well, I´m American, Woman, Jewish, mutant and Bi. I´m full of pride of what I´m" Kitty said and told about her time in her first gay pride parade. Meggan feels safer now and the two talk excitedly. "Kitty, do want help to bring your stuff in?"

Kurt is the one left out. As Meggan and Kitty, along with Rachel and Brian are helping. Kitty is not materialist so she only has a few boxes with her, nothing really heavy.

And Kurt is left out.

____________________________

Kitty is the first on the danger room and is the one to ask to train with the elf, the nickname is still used and Kurt offers to spar with Kitty. It´s their little ritual.

"How are you, elf?" she asked looking into his eyes. There´s no need to lie about anything with her.

"I´m fine...surprised that Meggan is gay, but, fine...Am I the only straight member in the group?" he asked jokingly.

"No, Brian is straight too. You two can bond over that, the sad realization of being straight, poor Kurt...will never ride a unicorn"

"Well, I´d not think me and Brian will be friends that easily"

"Oh no, Flirtzilla strikes again?"

"Yeah..."

"Wanna talk?"

___________________________________________________

It was a sacred routine. 30 minutes of talking with Kitty, sparring with her or just doing nothing, it´s sacred to him. A routine that never in his wild dreams Kurt thought it would be broken.

One day, Meggan arrives in his doorstep, trying to be neutral, but, for some reason, Kurt does rub her in the wrong way.

"Meggan" the beautiful woman is still beautiful as always but she never truly smiles with Kurt. She gives a long sigh and speaks "I´m not here to apologise, Kurt, because if you feel like an idiot than it is your own doing, not mine, to be clear, I wouldn´t have picked you even if I was straight"

"Thanks, glad to know"

"I´m here because of Kitty..." her hair does not turn pink, instead, her checks do "she is talking about a book, the age of innocence and I heard you have a copy...can you lend to me?"

Kurt could lend the book. He´s not that into that type of literature, but, Kitty gave him this book, Kitty spend her money to give this book only for him and Kurt is not immune to be spiteful.

"You´re mistaken, I don´t have this book" Kurt states. Meggan does not believe. "Besides, I thought you didn´t know how to read"

Meggan should be angry by these words, but, she´s really not angry. She´s feeling pity and this is a look Kurt does not like. "I´m Roma, yes, but that cliche of illiterate Roma is a cliche that is not universal, I´m thankful for being able to know how to read and write, and would you believe I even went to school? " she jokes and continues "when I said to Rachel ''I can´t read this book'' you must have some gallant idea to teach this illiterate woman how to read, poor dumb Meggan, but, in reality, what I mean was ''I don´t like this book, Rachel and I don´t want to read it, ''

She gives a sad smile to Kurt. "Is ok, I know your foster family was a cliche after the other, but, not all of us are like them...and if you don´t want to lend the book, is ok too...I can buy a cope"

And with that, she leaves. Kurt is weirdly possessive over a book that is not even his favourite genre. A story about a love triangle is never his thing...but...Kitty gave this book to him. Only him.

______________________________________________________________ Today, his routine is being broken as Kitty and Meggan are talking about books and Movies and before anything could be said Meggan asks Kitty out. Kurt went to train alone. No Kitty went after him.

Next day, the routine is broken again. Kitty was called to give a class to students, it was a thing of last minute, she didn´t announce to Kurt, it was to Meggan.

On the next day, Kitty and Meggan are sharing jokes and telling stories about their past.

And on the next day, Kurt is alone on the danger room, no Kitty, and he hates this.

"Missing Kitty?" Rachel declares loudly in the danger room.

"She´s dating Meggan?"

"Yes, I think so, and she´s not here with you...but, you´re the resident manslut of this house, you´d not care, there are always other women for you to be a dick about"

"you´d not think I´m cable of loving a woman?"

"No" and relentless she continues "I can read your mind as Meggan can read your emotions. You put Kitty in this pedestal and thought she was your angel...she´s human and you can say what you feel for her...I did feel the same, but, I understand we weren´t meant to be"

"I love her," Kurt said and adds "and I don´t know what to do"

"Don´t be a dick is a good thing. Kitty thinks you´re avoiding her and I´m here to talk some sense into you...I know, me? I don´t like at all, but, hey...if that makes Kitty happy" Rachel trails of "so, stop hiding here or I´ll drag you upstairs if I have to"

___________________________________________________

Kitty´s hands, as Kurt remembers, are often tiny and warm, illustrating her personality in small but crucial detail. Kurt remembers how one time they hold hands. His big and blue hand are perfect for her delicate one. He remembers every vivid detail about that moment, yet, can hardly recall the woman he did date on that time. Well, it wasn´t dating, only sex, still, Kurt can remember more of Kitty(Katzchen) then the random woman he did sleep.

Now, Kitty can´t hold hands with him anymore, her hands are often holding Meggan´s.

"Ah, they make such a cutie ship" Courtney Ross, the Captain Britain´s woman, as Kurt mentally adds, is in Excalibur to celebrate the holiday. Brian is amused at the scene.

Meggan and Kitty helping to decorate the place. Both women have different tastes and ended up discussing the choice each one makes and in the end, they made peace with each other.

Kurt is left alone. Like always.

Kitty notices Kurt, and the elf can pretend that everything is alright. The man offers a big smile at her and Kitty give a small one. "Hello, Kurt," she said, no nickname, and that makes his heart drop.

"We haven´t talked much" there´s an accusation on her tone and is visible she´s feeling a bit guilty too. "I know you must have been upset that me and Meggan are an item now. But, this situation is stupid. You´re my best friend and I´d not want to lose you"

"And you won´t...I was being stupid, I have no problems with you dating Meggan" Kitty looked at him with those does eye. "...Are you happy with her?"

"Yes, and are you going full Wolverine over Meggan? I´d not want you to rip my photo to look at Meggan" she jokes in a depreciative way that displeases Kurt very much.

"No, believe I have no feelings for Meggan, never had and never will," he said and let Kitty touches his face(oh, feeling her fingers on his face is...too good) as she examines his expression. Kitty can always tell when Kurt is lying.

"You´re not lying. Can you forgive me then? I was a fool...you´re my Best friend and I should have reached to you hard" Kitty said and Kurt, pretending very well, as he mentions how there´s nothing to forgive.

Kurt didn´t lie to Kitty. He has no feelings for Meggan. He has feelings for Kitty.

And at the end of the party. Kurt saw Meggan and Kitty kiss. A good excuse that he needs to go to the kitchen to grab more drinks didn´t raise suspicions.

Kurt cries a little. Letting tears be the manifestation of his stupidity or how life can be cruel.

"I´m living the plot of age of innocence," Kurt said bemused. And clean his eyes as taking a good and deep breath pretends this is just a play and this is a happy ending. Sometimes, the hero does not get the girl nor he deserves the girl. And maybe, Kurt reflects for a moment, that´s enough, sometimes, the hero does not truly understand love and can´t expect a woman to fix him.

Kurt returns to the party smiling as always and pretends very well to be happy as Meggan and Kitty are being such cute couple.

Could have been me there?

#Meggan X Kitty au #Miss you love au #Meggan #Kitty Pryde #Suffer Kurt #the writer hates a certain au #age of innocence #this book has a love traingle and I wanted to be meta #Yes I could used the great Gatsby but nope #Brian/Courtney #Kurt Wagner #Rachel Grey

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sobbingdistantnoises · 2 years

Note

4, 12, 20, 34 (road trips) and 63! <3

4. Top 5 favorite songs at this moment

UHHH, the first couple songs that I can think of that I've been listening on repeat to or have had stuck in my head a bunch recently are Ride The Lightning (Metallica song), Children of Decadence (Children of Bodom song), Trashed (Black Sabbath song), Needled 24/7 (Children of Bodom song), and The Toxic Waltz (Exodus song)

12. Saddest song you know

My first idea was One (Metallica song), and I haven't thought of anything sadder yet, so that's probably it

20. A song to shut everything out

Anything could really work for me when I need to do this, but the one that immediately comes to mind is Curtain (Portal song). Especially with its music video, but even without it, I love the terror filled sound it has and how Curtain really is such a mood setter

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on road trips?

I definitely don't have the proper emotion range in my Spotify (what I usually listen to nowadays, it's mostly metal stuff), so I'm using the songs I have like on SoundCloud (I use it way less now, but it was all I used for a couple years, so I have more of a variety on there) + a song I've found after wanting to find the artist for a couple years

This was genuinely so fun though, sdlfak, I love looking back at my SoundCloud songs because I still love each and every single one of them

THE PLAYLIST. It gives you whiplash without proper context, but that is okay

1. "Okay, let's get out of the house, it's road trip time!!" - 707's Theme (Mystic Messenger)

2. "Oh no, we need a rest stop" - I Sawed The Demons (Doom 1)

3. "Okay, phew, found one!" - Crucial Conflict (Westar Music)

4. "Driving takes so long, but it's kind of peaceful" - Snarltooth (Jotun)

5. "OH WAIT, WE FORGOT SOMETHING" - Regulus Corneas' Theme (Re:Zero)

6. "Where is it..?!" - Stage Mansion (Miitopia)

7. "...Oh wait. It was here all along. Oh. We're really near now at least though!" - Blast Processing (Geometry Dash)

8. "I can see the beach :))" - Saeko Neesan's Theme (Haikyuu)

9. "Let's hang out at the beach now! :D" - Monomi's Practice (Danganronpa 2)

10. "We had our fun, but it's time to go back home" Beryl Waters Assail Our Masts (Jotun)

63. A song that makes you think about life

To be completely honest, I really don't think about life a lot, so there isn't a song that makes me think of it, djskka

#asks #em

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spacedikut · 4 years

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An Essay on The Blessing of a Blizzard (basically just love for ur writing)

Ok this story popped into my head today and made me smile because it’s just so soft and the miscommunication and pining and auhghhhhh. Sorry i'm not as eloquent as you in my praise but i hope this suffices

ANYWAYS

“Mike. His name is Mike, and Spencer hates him.” right from the start we’re wondering why Spencer is showing such a strong negative emotion towards this guy- this stranger we don’t know yet. Spencer’s not harmless, he definitely has enough bite to shut someone down but we never see him usually this judgmental or abrasive so this is such an attention grabber.

Then in classic Spencer fashion we get the rundown of Mike’s background and name origins, but then transition to Spencer’s almost childish jealousy and hatred of this guy just because he’s stolen your heart.

I’ll be honest and say that when I read the list of things the reader shares with Mike, I was a little confused and thought “he seems weird” BUT not enough that I would suspect anything less than what’s at face value… The con is still going on.

“That business is ripping Spencer’s heart out of his chest, apparently.” we’re back to dramatic and angsty Spence and I love it and of COURSE it doesn’t matter, right? Because “Mike’s probably ugly, anyway” asldkjlakfj Spencer you are such a child and it’s adorable

And this line “Fuck Mike. Really, fuck him.” right before the transition is just perfect. I think I laughed out loud (probably too loud)

The detail of Garcia’s “bejewelled hands” idk I find that a really pretty little addition, I like all the details of Morgan and Emily looking pissed lol and then we’re back to childish petty Spence “All Spencer can think about is how Mike will have to suffer another day without you. He bites back a smile.”

The short interaction between Emily and Spencer and it’s so obvious Spencer is pining for you and she just smiles when mentioning Mike,,, and YES they’re all profilers but Spencer is being painfully clear he’s in love with you

Spencer catching your little expressions after getting off the call with Mike,,,, he cares so much for you (he’d probably fistfight Mike or at least step on his foot [accidentally obviously,,,] because this man wants your affection all to himself)

It’s such a Penelope idea to have a gingerbread house competition and I love her for it. <3 The little comment Morgan makes is sad for one second before you sweep in and protect Spencer and that makes my heart soft.

This entire little interaction is just,,, perfect “Spencer’s surely got whiplash, but you’re looking at him and smiling at him and him alone. He’s breathless at the sight, how you chose him and have literal stars in your eyes, yet all he can think is how undeserving he is of such a beauty. How undeserving anyone is, mostly Mike, to exist in the same reality as someone who puts the definition of beautiful to shame.

Spencer’s about to make the best damn gingerbread house the world has ever seen.”

And then “like a virus to a computer you completely wipe Spencer of all thoughts” is such a Spencer thought to have?? The computer reference? He’s such a small nerd

AND THEN your eyes watching him roll up his sleeves?? Sir i am looking respectfully…

All the tension and electricity between them during the building??? Amazing. The almost kiss? The Yearning? The eye contact and the puff of breath on his lips? The physical contact?

AND THE GONG! What a Penelope find. It’s the best and most abrupt way to disrupt the scene and poor you and Spence because the moment is over.

We’re back to classic Spencer and his the cogs in his brain turning- “Spencer can’t think about that fact too much. That could mean anything – dilated pupils don’t necessarily mean you’re in love. You could’ve gotten a good whiff of the gingerbread and felt hungry, or a song you really liked started playing from the playlist Penelope created. Or, most likely, Spencer thinks, you were thinking about someone else.”

Sad spence hours because now he’s confused and yearning and disappointed and conflicted about trying to kiss you and you trying to kiss him because MIKE exists and Spencer probably wants to throw Mike into the void if he could.

This line is just adorable: “(He’s making this more dramatic than it needs to be, really, but he feels everything so deeply when it comes to you)” and the gingerbread sharing? How you give the piece back to him first? It’s so cute

The little tells that Spencer picks up on before you’re about to laugh is really genuinely sweet because he just wants to be with you all the time, he wants to know all of you and he’s paid as much attention as possible.

And then Spencer’s embarrassed and a little sad but you’re laughing with him and everything’s okay. You kiss him and he meets Mike and all’s well that ends well <3

Ok asdklja;d i dont know if you’d actually like this but i feel like maybe?? Because its just endless praise for this story and the absolute genius of mike being a cat and the childish jealousy and the almost kiss and its adorable and i love it and you!! Okay spacey this is the end <3

#long post #people being nice to me #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i put off reading this because my heart simply cannot handle the pure joy i feel #i can’t thank you enough for doing this #like holy hell. HOLY HELL #i read this entire thing with my hands clasped to #my chest like i was CLUTCHING MY PEARLS #to put so much thought into something ive written is so mind blowing to me #and to send me such a lovely message that is BRIMMING WITH PRAISE I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH SERIOUSLY #I JDKAAKAKASSS AAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #this makes me think and consider my writing more than id like to but #god thank you for reading and writing this and sending it and #spending your valuable time on me and my stuff!!!#i wanted the fact mike was a pet to be kind of obvious cause i think it makes the whole thing even STUPIDER and that’s so funny to me #and just. GOD IM SO THANKFUL THANK YOU #am i screenshotting this and putting it in my lovely messages folder? yes #has this given me the motivation to get my uni work done and try to do some writing? yes #am i completely floored and so appreciative i don’t know what to do with myself? yes #thank you doesn’t feel good enough but #thank you #so much:(#submission

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angstmongertina · 7 years

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17. Jubilant (Inktober 2017)

And now for emotional whiplash day 3... :P

The whole thing with Monster of the Opera is from one of Zen’s spaceship thoughts, and also because he would totally sing All I Ask Of You to MC to be romantic, let's be real. (If anyone wants to listen to the music while reading, be my guest. I personally recommend the 25 anniversary recording because I love Ramin Karimloo but feel free to pick your favorite Phantom!)

Carina belongs to @cherieofthedragons and Eunbyeol is mine. :D

For anyone who is interested in a proposal featuring my personal MysMes OTP though honestly, it might just be me lol, it’ll come at some point after Inktober is over so I can write as much as I want to about it (I say, in spite of the fact that this current ficlet is about 2k words).

....if anyone is going to point out the time, I'm just going to point at the word length. :P

AO3 Link || Masterpost

Zen has been a bit too fidgety all day.

Sure, as a musical actor, he’s got near boundless energy, but this is another level entirely; Carina would almost suspect it to be nerves if it isn’t already the closing night for the Monster of the Opera and if Zen hasn’t already brought the house down in every single performance in the past two weeks.

Thanks to Jumin’s finagling, the RFA has the best seats in the entire hall, front and center. When she tried to protest the placement, he only cut her off with his usual cool detachment, though she still suspects she saw something—amusement?—lurking deep in his normally unfathomable gaze.

Beside her, Eunbyeol is nearly vibrating with excitement, clutching the program listing Zen as the titular monster so tightly that she’s not sure whether the paper will even be legible by the time the musical starts.

She leans around her cousin to grin at Jihyun, on Eunbyeol’s other side. “Someone’s eager today. When did she start preparing for this?”

He smirks. “Maybe two hours ago. Maybe earlier? I think she was pestering Hyun about what to wear and what she was and wasn’t allowed to bring at least two days ago.”

“Hey!” She stifles a laugh as Eunbyeol elbows him in the ribs. “Don’t encourage her. I don’t need my cousin and my boyfriend teaming up against me. And I’ll have you know that you can never be too prepared for an exciting night at the theater, especially when it’s The Monster of the Opera.”

Carina’s grin widens. “Yes, yes. We both know it’s the musical you’re excited about and not just because you have a major crush on the Monster.”

“I—What are you talking about? He just has a nice voice…”

Jihyun’s eyes fairly dance with amusement as Eunbyeol’s voice cracks. “Oh, is that why you’ve been counting down the hours for nearly a week? Should I learn to sing and play the organ as well, now?”

“Better start lurking under opera houses as well,” she quips.

“Don’t forget rowing boats across mysterious underground lakes to a secret lair.”

“Writing operas with extremely unsubtle metaphors about sex.”

“Dropping chandeliers on party-goers’ heads.”

“Are you two done?” Eunbyeol’s glaring at both of them now, but is also failing miserably at hiding the way the corners of her mouth twitch, threatening to ruin her look of annoyance.

She opens her mouth to reply in the negative just as the lights dim in the room and Eunbyeol offers her a prim, almost arch, look, sitting up and folding her hands in her lap.

That doesn’t stop her from leaning back across with a stage whisper. “Strangling and hanging people by lasso?”

The sound of Jihyun’s hastily choked back laughter is totally worth the sharp elbow that’s jabbed into her side.

Nonetheless, as the overture begins to sound, she sits back herself, content to enjoy the show and her boyfriend’s performance once more.

It’s always been one of his dreams to play the monster, she knows, and he leapt at the chance to audition for the musical as soon as he heard about it. As she watches the young Kristey and listens for his first appearance, she can definitely appreciate the effort he put in, so much that she had to drag him out at times before he could push himself too hard once more. But in the end, it’s worth it.

“Insolent boy, this slave of fashion, basking in your glory!” His voice rings out, strong and clear and true, and without thinking, she grabs Eunbyeol’s hand, squeezing tightly as he appears in a haze of white mist, dressed all in black and bedecked in the famous white mask.

Even with half of his face covered and the thick caking of stage makeup, he is absolutely stunning, and she can hardly look away as he leads his soprano through the mirror and down to the aforementioned lake, singing all the while, strong and commanding and undeniably irresistible.

The music changes as the pair alight their boat, turning soft and slow, and she can’t help but close her eyes, remembering the tenderness in his voice and the warm arms that wrapped around her whenever he sang that particular song at home, at once alluring and comforting. Just like he himself.

God, but she loves him.

She shakes herself as the tale continues: the first unmasking, the notes that she and Eunbyeol never fail to laugh at, the absurdity of Scarlotta. The comforts and promises between Kristey and her young suitor Rolf. The perceived betrayal at the top of the opera house and very real anguish that roughens Zen’s voice, that screams out of his every motion and is nearly enough to draw tears to her eyes, even as the chandelier falls and the first half comes to a close.

Intermission passes in a blur. As the lights brighten, she vaguely notices Eunbyeol dart out of the auditorium, coat on and hands shoved into her pockets, but Jaehee turns to her with a comment on the intensity of Zen’s acting and, in the ensuing discussion, she forgets all about her cousin’s curious behavior.

She does notice when Eunbyeol returns, dropping into her seat with a sigh of relief just as the lights dim once more. “Where were you?” she hisses, but Eunbyeol only shakes her head, tilting her head towards the curtains with a small, almost mysterious, smile.

When Zen returns to stage during the masquerade ball, there’s something different in his acting now, as though he is throwing himself even more into each note and gesture. As though he is determined to fully embody the Monster, pouring his soul into the role, and win over the girl. As though something is building, sizzling in him, contained only through force of will.

She’s pretty certain that his performance of Point of No Return, even as carnal as it usually is, has never been so electrifying, so utterly seductive. She’s spellbound, cannot look away from the push and pull, the constant friction. The intoxicating chemistry.

Until suddenly, he freezes, his hood gone.

It’s a part of the story and she knows this, but even so, her heart nearly stops in her throat at the raw vulnerability in his gaze, at how he stands, frozen. The pause stretches, each second strangely feeling like an eternity, until, suddenly, Zen’s eyes stray, shifting from his co-star out to the audience. To her.

“Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you want me with you, here beside you.” At last, he looks away, back to the woman standing across from him, but she can still feel his gaze lingering, impossibly gentle. “Anywhere you go, let me go too…”

She sits, unable to move, hardly noticing as the story moves on, the tension bubbling over. The scream of agony and the descent. The mob and the fight and the kiss. She vaguely senses when Eunbyeol turns away to Jihyun, and wonders briefly whether the sniffling she hears is from him or her or both. But the musical’s end doesn’t sink in until the stage is suddenly dark, light illuminating the single white mask, the audience is on its feet, and an elbow nudges her side, though gently this time.

Almost mechanically, she stands, clapping and watching as the cast files on, one-by-one, to cheers and wild applause. Rolf and Kristey enter, meeting in center stage for an embrace that is met with screams and wolf whistles. And then…

For a moment, she thinks she’s going to go deaf from the sheer amount of noise that heralds Zen’s return to the stage, and she stares in surprise. Unlike all the other curtain calls she’s seen, he’s changed into a suit, his wig and costume, other than the mask that Mel still carries, nowhere to be seen. He takes his bow with perfect elegance, a grin of absolute triumph on his face as he gestures to the rest of the cast and the crew and the pit orchestra, and then he simply stands, hands by his side, while the rest of the cast files silently off stage.

Beside her, Eunbyeol is nearly dancing on the spot, clutching at both her and Jihyun so tightly that it’s a wonder that her arm is still getting blood.

Finally, the room quiets enough for Zen to step forward, his eyes roaming across the audience, taking in the crowd.

“I know you’ve all been here for quite a while and I hope none of you are in any rush but just in case, I’ll try to keep this short. As I’m sure at least everyone who has read their programs tonight knows, I’m Zen, and I played the Monster in tonight’s performance. I—”

Before he can continue, the crowd bursts into applause once more, and from her position, she can see the faint blush it brings to his face, the pleasure and confidence that straighten his spine as he waits once more for calm.

“I know it’s unusual for anyone, even the leading role, to stop and give a speech after a performance, but there are a few people I’d like to thank for helping me be where I am today. To all of my fans who have supported me through everything. To my friends, who have in the past few years become like my family, giving advice and telling jokes and sometimes even making things an absolute mess. And…” Slowly, his eyes shift along the row, coming to rest on her, bright and warm and oh so loving. “And to one person in particular.”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t talk about my past very much, and it’s for a reason that isn’t entirely relevant so I won’t get into here. Suffice it to say that I spent much of my first years as a musical actor living alone, struggling to survive and accepting whatever roles I could get. Acting was, and still is, my entire life. All of my time outside of rehearsals was spent practicing, and I had no social life to speak of. I couldn’t risk my career.

“But then I met someone who could see beyond my exterior, who loves me for who I am and who I was. Who has never wavered in her support, even in the face of scandal, and who stayed even when I couldn’t find myself. And who has been waiting, never complaining when she has to stay in the background. And I don’t want her to wait any longer.”

Suddenly, he gives a little laugh, sharp and nervous. “I know this is the part where I should say something beautifully romantic and moving and bring everyone to tears, but everything I can think of is from some musical or another, and this should be a time of my own words. So I’ll just say that I love you, Carina, for now and forever. I know you’ve said that you’re willing to wait however long it takes, but I’m an impatient man.”

She draws a shaking breath as he lowers himself to one knee on stage, pulling small box out of his jacket pocket. “Carina Lee, will you marry me?”

“Oh my god.” The words barely escape her lips, choking around the sudden lump in her throat, and so quietly that she thinks only Eunbyeol can hear. Before she can try again to speak, a shove on her shoulder sends her moving on numb legs, and the crowds part as she stumbles her way to the stage, to where Zen is still waiting, endlessly patient.

She comes to a stop before him with his face upturned towards her, shining with adoration so clear that her eyes sting with tears and the rest of the room simply melts away. “Carina?”

“Yes. Zen, yes!” Again, the words catch in her throat, but even so, pure bliss crosses his face as he rises to his feet in the still-silent room, taking her hand and sliding the ring onto her finger before lifting her off of her feet entirely, laughing as cheers erupt.

In the uproar, he sets her back on her feet, though his arms remain around her waist, almost as if he never wants to let her go, and she looks up, catching his gaze. “I love you, Zen.”

Her words are not nearly as poetic as everything he said, but as he leans down to capture her lips, she knows that that’s really all they need.

#zen (mystic messenger)#Hyun Ryu #Mystic Messenger #MysMes #Zen/MC #Tina writes stuff.#Tina plays MysMes.#otp: the princess and her knight #Carina Lee #marriage proposal #Tina's Writer Inktober

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funeral-clown · 7 years

Text

@heckyeahharrisco for harriscofest 2017

@aquaexplicit i diddly done did it yo

prompt: vampires

Cisco took a deep, calming breath as the van pulled up to the old, seemingly abandoned Victorian-style house. The late autumn leaves blew in the fading dusk light, doing nothing to detract from it’s overall unsettling aura. That uneasiness that pervaded the air surrounding the seemingly dilapidated dwelling was why he was here.

He clicked on his dictaphone and began speaking.

“As I pulled into the driveway of the creepy-ass house, I asked myself. Why is it always Victorians? Do ghosts just like them better? Why can’t they ever haunt, like, a luxury condo? I will ask one if this place turns out as haunted as the locals say.”

With that he got out and began unpacking his ghost hunting equipment. If he made enough to hire an assistant, his job would be way easier, but as it was Cisco Ramon was a man alone. A tragic hero, if you will, standing between the paranormal and humanity itself, seeking out the dark figures that spread unrest. Solitary, he roamed the country, in constant pursuit of-

A sudden wail cut off what he was sure was one of his best internal monologues yet. Startled, he almost dropped his EMF meter.

“Hey!” he snapped at the house, “I built this stuff myself, and if I break it because you feel like being an asshole, I will go ghostbusters on you!”

The wailing ceased and silence reigned heavily, a sense of amused anticipation filling the air.

“Alright then,” Cisco muttered, clicking on his camcorder and walking up the messy porch. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, only for it to creak open ominously. Rolling his eyes, he stepped inside. The door slammed shut behind him, and he tried not to jump.

“Hello?“ he called out, then immediately cursed himself for being a horror movie cliche. He was a professional, dammit. “My name is Francisco Ramon. If there is a presence in this house, please make yourself known.”

A high pitched giggle filled the air, sending shivers down his spine.

“The entity is playful, possibly a child,” he muttered.

“Hey!” came a voice from above him, “I’m 23! Or, well. I was.”

He looked up to see an apparition floating above his head, arms crossed over her chest and a put out expression on her face.

“Sorry,” he offered, shooting her a placating grin.

Her face changed to one of shock.

“You...You can see me?“

“Yeah, dude.”

She stared at him for a moment, face contorting into a plethora of emotions. More than anything, he saw longing.

“It’s been so long,” she whispered, floating down closer to him, hands stretching out towards his face. “You can see me!”

Cisco just nodded. This wasn’t unusual when meeting specters for the first time.

A sudden clattering came from upstairs, making him jump. The ghost paused, seemingly shaken out of her trance-like fascination.

A sound like footsteps thudded their way across the ceiling.

“Who’s that?“ Cisco asked, eyes trained upwards to follow the sound.

The ghost seemed almost sheepish, laughing nervously.

“That would be my dad.”

“Your what?”

The footsteps stopped at the head of the stairs. A tall figure loomed in the shadows, two twin glints of light glaring through the darkness at him. For a second everything was frozen still. No one moved. No one breathed. Then, in a blink, Cisco found himself glaring up into the face of a snarling man with- shit, were those fangs-trying his hardest to grasp what had just happened.

“How the hell did you get into my house?” the mother fucking vampire, apparently, growled.

“Th-the door opened itself!”

“Impossible. I locked it myself this morning.” His fangs glistened as he spoke, face to close for Cisco’s comfort.

“L-look, man, if you have some home renovations needed take it up with your door. All I’m saying is I just walked in here, no problem!”

His eyes were locked on the man’s teeth, fear coiled low in his gut as he stammered his way through an explanation.

The vampire sighed, hands dropping from where they were bunching Cisco’s shirt in his fists.

“Jesse,” he muttered tiredly. The exhausted frustration made him seem almost human.

“Who’s Jesse?“ he asked.

“Me,” came a voice in his ear. The ghost girl.

“Oh, so your name isn’t Casper, then?“ She snorted and rolled her eyes, making him grin.

“Wait.” Ice formed on his spine as the cold voice snapped out, and honestly, Cisco, you forgot about the motherfucking vampire?

He turned back to the man, trying to cover his nervousness.

“You.” the creature paused. He seemed torn, desperate. “You can see her.”

“Yeeeeaaaahhh?“

“You can see my daughter.”

“Comes with being a psychic, bro.”

The vampire grimaced in distaste at the moniker before refocusing his eyes on Cisco. He seemed zoned, almost, all of his energy directed on observation, watching him. Cisco felt like a bug under a microscope, or a deer that looks up and suddenly thinks ‘hey, was that tiger always there?’, locked in his gaze. Why did a vampire need glasses, anyway.

“Prove it,” the creature whispered. “Tell me what she looks like.”

Cisco almost tells him to fuck off, but his face is broken. What should be a command almost sounds like pleading. He can’t see her, Cisco realizes.

“Ok,” he mutters, strangely trying to be comforting. “Ok. She’s got, uh, brown hair. Kinda on the small side.” Jesse flips him off, grinning. He grins back. “A better sense of humor than her dad, apparently. She’s got your eyes, so, uh, congrats on that I guess. And she was 24 when she. You know, kicked it.” He winces internally.

“23,” they both correct in unison, almost absently. They’re both staring at him now, almost hungrily. Which. Probably not a great expression to be getting from a member of the undead.

“Jesse,” the vampire whispers.

“Dad,” she whispers back.

“Jesse, can you hear me? I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m so-” his voice cracks, and he’s gasping, words trying to form sentences and failing. He glares at Cisco. “Tell her,” he growls. “Tell her.”

“She can hear you,” he tries his best to sound soothing. “Trust me.”

Jesse has tears running down her cheeks.

“Tell him I forgive him. Please, you have to tell him, I’ve been trying, but he can’t-Dad, please, it’s ok, it’s fine, I know, please-” The house begins to shake with her emotional turmoil. She began to glow as her sobs turned to wails. Panicking, Cisco grabbed his hand. This worked sometimes with humans, maybe-

The vampire (shit, he really had to learn this guy’s name) gasped. Cisco let out an internal sigh of relief. It didn’t always work, and he had to concentrate. But-

“Jess?“ His voice was a quiet broken thing.

“Daddy.” Her sobs were subsiding. They simply stared at each other. This family seemed big on staring.

“It was my fault.”

“No.”

“Yes! I’m your father, and I never should have let this happen.”

Jesse snorted, wiping her eyes roughly with her sleeves. “You didn’t let anything happen, dad. I was murdered. There was nothing you could do.”

Well, Cisco thought, that explains why her presence was so strong. Violent deaths usually were.

“I shou- I should have been there. I should have been able to stop it, I should have been strong enough!”

“Dad,” she scoffed, “I love you, but come on. There was nothing you could do. And it’s ok! It’s ok, I promise. Because now, we can be together. Forever. Just like you wanted in the first place. A family.”

“Not like this,” he muttered. “I never wanted it to happen like this.”

Silence grew between them, heavy with regret.

“Ooooookay,” Cisco broke through the tension. “Not that I am not, you know, super happy for you guys, but uh. Can I go now?“

The vampire looked at him, seemingly having forgotten the man despite his limpet grip on his hand. Confusion turned quickly to amusement.

“Leaving so soon? We haven’t even had a bite to eat yet. I just woke up, and I have to say.” He leaned in closer to Cisco, sharp smile gracing his features. “I am famished.”

Cisco gulps. His eyes track the movement, pupils dilating.

Jesse groans in the background.

“Oh my god, Dad. Seriously? Vampire puns?“

He straightens, grin looking less predatory and more amused.

Cisco is starting to get emotional whiplash here.

~~~

The vampire, it tuns out, is named Harrison. Once you get past what a colossal dick he is, he’s actually not so bad.

Cisco digs his fork back in the reheated chinese take out.

“You know,” he mumbles through the noodles, “This isn’t what I thought you meant when you said ‘having a bite’.”

Harry shrugs, sipping blood out of an old chipped mug that says World’s Suckiest Dad.

“Not my fault you misconstrued my efforts at hospitality. And don’t talk with your mouth full, Ramon.”

Cisco sticks his tongue out at him, because he can. He rolls his eyes.

“Seriously though. I’m still a little confused by the whole vampire thing.”

“And here you struck me as something of an intellect. What’s there to be confused about?“

“I mean, how does it work.”

“Magic. Seriously, Ramon?“

“What? Everything I know about vampires, I learned from watching Lost Boys.”

“Lost Boys,” Harry scoffed, before tilting his head back to get the last few drops of blood.

“Yes, Harry. Lost Boys. Keifer Sutherland, teenage vampires on the boardwalk, it was a classic.”

“You’re eating worms.”

“Yes exact-” He paused, fork halfway to his mouth, when his dinner started...wriggling. He let out a small shriek and dropped the container, scooting back. Harrison, the dick, started laughing.

“Ugh, you asshole.”

“Yes, Ramon, I know what Lost Boys is. I’m dead, not completely out of touch with the world.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Jesse muttered from the corner. Cisco laughs.

Harry’s face turned wistful.

“What did she say?“

“Says you coulda fooled her.”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Sounds like her.”

“Yeah. Hey, if dinner is done, I really do have to-” Harrison is standing behind him, offering his hand.

“Of course. Just let me escort you to your...” he looks out the window at the beat up old van in his driveway. “Vehicle.”

“Hey, now, no hating on the van. I practically live in that thing, it’s my baby.”

Harry’s lip curls in mild distaste. “To each their own,” he says delicately.

Like he doesn’t live in the Addam’s Family’s abandoned summer home. Asshole.

“He’s already judging your life choices. You’re practically family!” Jesse sounds almost giddy. Cisco grins and tries not to let her words affect him.

“See you around, Casper.” He finds he means it. She flips him off.

“If she flipping you off.”

“Yup.”

“That’s my girl.”

They both wait outside for a second, lingering in the cool night air. The stars are twinkling above their heads.

“Cisco. Thank you.”

This is the first time Harry’s actually said his name. Cisco tries to play it cool.

“No sweat, Nosferatu.”

Harry chuckles, looking down at the grass.

“You don’t know, do you? What a gift you are. I’ve lived for years in that house, haunted by my own daughter, unable to reach out, and you just...Walk in. Cisco.”

He looks at his face, everything about him tailored to look gentle, nonthreatening. Everything but the eyes. They still burn with hunger.

“H-harry.” He tells himself he didn’t trip over the name.

“Thank you.”

His hands come up to touch Cisco’s face, thumbs stroking his cheeks with something like reverence. His lips part ever so slightly at the sensation. Harry’s eyes catch it.

“You, uh. You might wanna go have another mug of blood, there Harry. You’re still looking pretty thirsty.”

The sharp grin returns, and hello horrausal.

“I’m a vampire, Cisco. I’m always thirsty.”

Suddenly his eyes close and he lets his forehead drop on Cisco’s shoulder.

“Ramon.” His voice sounds slightly annoyed, muffled by Cisco’s shirt.

“Harry.”

“My daughter is making faces at us through the window.”

Cisco craned his neck, and yep. Jesse waved at him before going back to sticking her tongue out and fake retching. Charming. He laughs lightly, waving back.

“Yes she is.”

“I changed my mind. I can go another decade without seeing her again.”

“Blatant lies, Wells.”

Harry groans before standing upright. Cisco convinces himself he didn’t notice him sniffing him.

“Fine. I guess you’ll just have to come back then.”

Cisco leans against the side of the van and peered up at him through the dark, the picture of nonchalance.

“Guess I will.”

He smiles then turns and walks back to the house. Cisco climbs into his van and heads down the long driveway.

“Guess I will,” he repeats quietly to himself.

When he gets home he realizes his camcorder is missing.

Assholes.

#harrisco #for harriscofest #tbh this probably exceeds the world limit a lot but i got caught up #jesse is a poltergeist who was murdered by hunter in an attempt to strike at wells #she haunts her dad but while he can sense her presence and knows she there and see her effect #harry can't actually see or speak to jesse #also jesse is a troll who likes to mes with people #harry has a deal with caitlin to get fresh blood bags #cisco is a psychic and he just really wants to get his ghosthunting business off the ground #i got way too into this #more preharrisco than anything else

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