#because why would they frame these two moments so similarly

[altf4d3lete]

So erm… are we ready to talk about how similarly the kiss scene and the hug are filmed…? Or not yet 😇🙏

Edit: Also idk if this means anything but during the kiss there’s only really one or two perspectives. And it’s always one side of them. It only zooms up close on Wednesday’s reaction, not tyler’s. But in the hug, it focuses on both Wednesdays AND enids reaction. And then it focuses on the two of them together. So do with that information what you will

[tsaomengde]

The Villeneuve Dune(s) can be broadly interpreted as one of the two possible futures Paul sees in the original novel

Spoilers below for Dune Part Two. (And for the original novel, but that's been out since the 60s.)

He had seen two main branchings along the way ahead--in one he confronted an evil old Baron and said: "Hello, Grandfather." The thought of that path and what lay along it sickened him.

The other path held long patches of grey obscurity except for peaks of violence. He had seen a warrior religion there, a fire spreading across the universe with the Atreides green and black banner waving at the head of fanatic legions drunk on spice liquor. Gurney Halleck and a few others of his father's men--a pitiful few--were among them, all marked by the hawk symbol from the shrine of his father's skull.

"I can't go that way," he muttered. "That's what the old witches of your schools really want."

Obviously the Doylist explanation for why there are differences in the new films is that the original book is 60+ years old and has certain elements no longer in cultural vogue that were adapted out or altered to better fit modern sensibilities, and I'm all for that. But I did find it interesting that there is an explicit moment at the end of Part 2 where Paul confronts the Baron, utters the "Hello, Grandfather," line, and kills him.

This isn't necessarily because there is any one choice that Paul makes throughout the course of the two movies that leads here instead of to the jihad. In point of fact, most of the changes that drive him here are caused by choices made in the adaptations of the films.

The causal chain that leads to Paul undertaking the spice agony is his failure to predict the attack on Sietch Tabr, rather than his failure to predict Gurney's attack on Jessica; this is, of course, necessitated by the omission of the Harkonnen scheme in part 1 to impair Thufir's Mentat efficiency and potentially drive a wedge between Leto and Jessica by framing Jessica as the traitor. The final push that causes him to make the decision is, of course, the vision he experiences of an alternate future in which he didn't have to kill Jamis, with Jamis counseling him to climb as high as possible before the hunt so he can see as far as possible. (In other words, he ignores Stilgar's advice of not listening to the djinn.)

Similarly, his killing of the Baron is necessitated by the adaptational choice to keep Alia as a fetus so the audience doesn't have to deal with a two-year-old talking like an adult and killing the Baron, which they probably did because it would have been distracting.

However, I might argue that a Watsonian explanation for the film omitting the two-year time-jump lies specifically with Paul's decision to explicitly disavow the prophecy when Jessica undergoes the spice agony, and to explain to the Fremen that her survival is because of her Bene Gesserit training. He then attempts to secure his position with the Fremen through secular deeds, rather than letting Jessica carve a place for them with the BG prophesy.

This disagreement between the two of them causes her in turn to take a more active approach in cultivating Paul's status as Lisan al-Gaib, which accelerates the timeline of the Fremen being ready to submit to him. In turn, Paul focusing more strongly on guerrilla war against the Harkonnens accelerates the timeline of Feyd-Rautha being put in charge of Arrakis and cracking down hard in the north, leading to the aforementioned crisis point of Sietch Tabr being attacked without Paul's foreknowledge.

Notably, while we do see the shrine of Leto's skull in the film, we only see it in a vision; there is no moment in the movie where Paul explicitly finds his father's remains and enshrines them. Hence, going from a strict interpretation of the film's "text," this is not the future in which the legions are marked by the shrine, because the shrine doesn't exist. It is the other future. The compression of time means that Paul and Chani's relationship is much newer and more fragile and doesn't survive the strain of his apotheosis, and that's what sickens him most.

Of course, the "Hello, Grandfather" path also leads to the jihad, because Paul's tragedy is that his very existence was always going to lead to it, regardless of what he chose to do.

And Paul saw how futile were any efforts of his to change any smallest bit of this. He had thought to oppose the jihad within himself, but the jihad would be. His legions would rage out from Arrakis even without him. They needed only the legend he already had become. He had shown them the way, given them mastery even over the Guild which must have the spice to exist.

Obviously none of this passes explicit, close scrutiny, and is more of a fun "if you squint and look at it a certain way it kind of makes sense." I expect that the line was put in as a nod to the original book, no more or less, but making up head-canons like this is fun for me and if even one other person finds it edifying then I consider sharing it time well spent!

[kazisgirlfriend]

Like Aunt, Like Nephew

I happened across @raayllum's meta here about Callum and Amaya, and certainly raises a few really interesting points about them that I wanted to touch on. Most notably, it demonstrates how their overall differences really stem from a simple difference in overall experience - at the end of the day, Amaya has potentially years if not decades of experience on a teenager Callum. So, when there are similarities between Callum and Amaya, they are as frequently about who Amaya WAS as much as who Amaya IS.

However, differences in experience do not negate parallels between characters. Just as Runaan is far more experienced than Rayla, that fact alone does not diminish the very clear parallels she has with her father figure. Similarly, the differences between Callum and Amaya do ultimately come down to a level of experience.

Prejudice

Callum and Amya's contrast in prejudice actually demonstrate how their level of experience influence their differences. Amaya had spent years at the breach, which solidified distrust and even hatred that she had towards elves ("I've slain monsters before").

Callum's prejudice, while relatively muted, is still there. Not only does he assume Rayla drinks blood, he initially refers to as a "creature" in the novelization, and later amends to thinking she's "one of the good ones."

As a sidenote, it's important not to dismiss Callum's prejudices as mere "misconceptions" simply because they are less intense. TDP is ultimately a story about overcoming prejudice, which is something that Callum does quicker than Amaya does. But this is ultimately the result of his prejudices being borne out of a lack of exposure rather than years of war like Amaya. Amaya has had years to let her prejudices fester, while Callum's simple ignorance gets dispelled rather quickly. But both Callum and Amaya demonstrate admirable open-mindedness in overcoming personal biases, even if at different paces.

The Test of Light

The other comparison is between how Amaya handles her test of light in 3x02 vs. how Callum handles his "test" in 5x08. This, I admit, was a peculiar test since whatever situation Callum was faced with in s5, it had nothing to do with purity. It was not a test of light.

Instead, Callum faced his test of light in s3, when he rode the Twin-Tailed Inferno-Tooth Tiger.

A creature that can sense the purity of one's heart (much like Pharos' staff), and a creature that Callum rode.

Instead the test that Callum faced in 5x08 was a test of darkness. Facing down his own dark side, and ultimately emerging triumphant, signified by the narrative rewarding Callum with the Ocean Arcanum.

Framing Callum's test as a defeat stems from a simplistic view of light and darkness as mutually exclusive. In truth, light and darkness exist in all of us, even heroes. Callum's realization that he contains complexities beyond his understanding is integral to his arc, not a failure. Everyone has a dark side, and it is this realization, that Callum has a part of himself he can neither fully understand nor control, that leads Callum to reach a breakthrough with the Ocean Arcanum. His eventual triumph would not be framed as such if he did not face this shadow side.

But as this lesson is one that is wholly irrelevant to s3, it raises the question as to why should we compare these two moments across two seasons at all. And the reason is that, if we were to compare the actual parallels this season, find that Callum and Amaya--as they both charge in to save their loved ones--are not so different at all.

In the end, their nuanced journeys demonstrate how light and darkness can coexist within us all. Comparing dissimilar tests obscures this meaningful complexity that makes both characters human. The distinction lies in understanding, not judgment.

Stronger Together

While Amaya's lesson to Rayla about being stronger together vs. alone is important, the reason this conversation never comes up between Amaya and Callum is because Callum already knows this. It is yet another similarity that he has with his aunt.

Even after the tribulations of 5x08, Callum is still the one to insist that the trio does everything together. Akiyu gave the group only one amulet, meaning that only Callum can theoretically go underwater after the pearl. In spite of this, Callum takes it upon himself to reverse-engineer the amulet to create magical gills for all of them. Far from insisting he should be strong alone, Callum acknowledges--much like Amaya did--that they are stronger together.

The writers convey Callum already comprehending Amaya's lesson through his own actions, rather than needing the moral spelled out for him. It's a great example of showing rather than telling. This creative choice highlights the strong unspoken bond and understanding between aunt and nephew.

The Canon of It All

Challenging the notion that Callum and Amaya are especially similar is a peculiar undertaking, given that the show spends a large amount of time highlighting their similarities.

I could show all the similarities between Callum and Amaya throughout the series, but rather than dragging out the meta any further, all I and anyone else have to do is merely point to the fact that their similarities are called out by the show itself. If the narrative is indicating its significance, then it's significant. Rather than denying the undeniable, it is more constructive to examine why this relationship is highlighted and what significance it may hold for future story developments.

After all, the writers make a concerted effort to draw connections between Callum and Amaya across multiple scenes and story arcs. Questioning why such focused narrative choices exist will likely offer more meaningful insights into their characters and bond. Challenging textual evidence risks missing the forest for the trees. If the show itself calls attention to a theme, then clearly it carries weight. The deeper question is what purpose these parallels serve in the broader storytelling. Their interconnected journeys likely foreshadow an integral joint role to come.

Conclusion - What does this all mean?

It's very rare for one to write a meta around the argument that the story beats and similarities audiences are noticing are actually not important, especially when the show itself expressly calls out these similarities and story beats in such a prolific way. So that really raises the question - what is this all about? What is the motivation behind the argument that fans are wrong for noticing the things the show explicitly draws attention to?

At the end of the day, what motivates disagreements about whether Callum is like Amaya isn't about objective scoreboard-tallying. After all, Callum's s5 parallels with Viren are only held together by one single utterance of "I'd do anything for X" from each of them in very different contexts and that hasn't deterred many folks.

Instead, it is an issue of bias. As I mentioned before, there is a certain stereotype about characters with nerdy interests, and Callum has been no exception. He's a human mage, and so it's frequently assumed that the only "proper" comparisons he can have are with other human mages like Claudia and Viren (which also leads to his depictions as morally dubious, since the only other human mages we've seen are morally dubious ones).

He also starts out the series as "bad at everything" and a bit clumsy. Rather than realizing he's simply insecure and inexperienced, the argument goes that actually his ineptitude is innate to his character. He's scrawny, weak, a pushover, someone who belongs on the sidelines and with his nose in his sketchbook. Unlike the strong, brave, tough, capable warriors like Sarai, Amaya, Soren, Rayla, and so on.

But when seasons 4 and 5 rolled out, when it was revealed that Callum was far from a pushover--that he is strong, talented, confident, tough, and brave--along with the explicit comparisons between him and Amaya, most fans I think realized and recognized who Callum really is now. But a few instead doubled-down, and saw the parallels between Callum and Amaya (which, again--cannot stress this enough--are called out by the show directly) as a threat to this initial takeaway back in s1.

Assumptions about "proper" character archetypes or stereotypes around nerdy, awkward characters can cause some to overlook Callum's growth. But his strengths as a mage do not preclude similarities to a warrior like Amaya. Wells-rounded characters defy singular boxes.

But that's neither here nor there. The most pertinent question here is not whether, but why the show so explicitly calls out Callum's similarities with Amaya. My guess is that it has something to do with seasons 6 and 7, about the kind of person Callum will become. That it has something to do with why Callum, despite Aaravos' insistence, is not destined to play right into his hands.

But that is a story for another time ;)

Postscript - Viren and Amaya

As a sidenote, there was some stuff about the ways Viren and Amaya were similar that I found interesting. Haven't forgotten about that, and wanted to address it, but I'll do that separately as I don't want to drag out this meta beyond what's reasonable.

[genichisojo]

Kagurabachi's Popularity: Familiarity Through Structure

Having a degree in writing and media is so fun because I can write an essay on why Kagurabachi can be defined as well written through craft standards and attribute its popularity overseas to its structure, which is framed similarly to western movies.

And I am!

After this interview confirmed that Takeru Hokazono, author of Kagurabachi, is a huge fan of western films, I went back to this idea I was playing with in October when KB had less than ten chapters. I had been reading since day one, and I knew it was good, and other overseas fan knew it was good. But what made it so good to us, overseas?

I made a quick thread on it on my Twitter account (that I never posted) where I mentioned Blake Snyder's Save the Cat book on script writing and story structure. I also brought up characterization and how it would've been really popular in my comic book class from undergrad. This thread discussed both Chihiro and Sojo, and the quick yet steady pace of the manga has given us more characters and moments to pinpoint. To not overwhelm myself, I'm not going to discuss the craft of characterization (maybe another time), and I'm not going to do a beat sheet for Sojo. For now, I'll try to stay under the first arc to map out why Kagurabachi has so far moved like a high budget film in manga form. So, spoilers ahead!

A quick lesson on Save the Cat, its three main characteristics are: Three act structure Fifteen plot beats Mostly applied to American Hollywood films

One of the biggest things I noticed right away was the resemblance a lot of the chapters, even the story as a whole, had to Snyder's beat sheet. This beat sheet that comes from Snyder's book is somewhat of an industry standard, so a lot of movies, even those that preceded Snyder, go through this structure of Act 1, 2, and 3. Snyder just identified the parts and broke them down to fifteen beats. Plus he dubbed the save the cat moment:

A decisive moment in which a protagonist demonstrates they are worth rooting for. Having the protagonist save a cat can be literal or figurative.

This was something KB needed and did have to have us warm up to Chihiro who post time skip, just gave gloomy orphan energy in the previous chapters. Here, Char would be our cat. Chihiro chose to save Char and chose to protect her, and continued to fight for her until she was rescued. He made this choice even before it's revealed that Char's mother died for her, something that would parallel Chihiro. This is what got readers to see him three dimensionally after being introduced to him. He's still the caring little 14 year old we saw at the start, who continues to take care of the innocent despite the tragedy he's been through. It is only natural for us to care for him, too.

Above are the fifteen beats of Save the Cat and although KB on occasion doesn't hit all fifteen exactly as specified, especially final image as it's continuing, the song and dance is quite similar. Here are examples of The Dark Knight (2008) and Inglourious Basterds (2009), two movies that have inspired Hokazono's work.

Before Chihiro meets Char, we get his opening image of him and his dad forging which is works well as the entire story revolves on the consequences of them creating weapons. We get the set up to his world where he lives with his dad who made famous katanas that wield the power to end a war. The theme is stated, and it's not kept a secret: The katanas they make are weapons made to kill people. Are they willing to carry the burden? In another variation of this question, is Chihiro willing to carry the burdens unintentionally passed down by his father?

The catalyst is his father's murder that catapults him into seeking revenge and recover the katanas.

Now, for the rest of the story, this structure can be applied to the first 18 chapters or even 1-3 chapters at a time which in my opinion, is kind of insane. There's story telling inside the story telling, and these moments are both subtle and grand, signs of a strong and captivating writer. Hollywood would kill for a script like this these days. In order to get you to believe me how prominent these beats are, I'm going to do arc one and Daruma's story. The main story line should be around act one and two right now as of chapter 20, if we want to get down into it, but if anything, this feels like it's moving like a second "movie."

Overall, this structure that comes from Hollywood movies can be identified in multiples parts of Kagurbachi's storytelling. I was going to do beat sheet's for Char and Sojo's stories as well, but I think this is enough of an example of a bigger picture versus smaller. Although other mangas also fall into three act structures, as most story telling does, KB masterfully uses the 15 beats to its advantage. I believe the familiarity of this pace is what hooked oversea audiences, and aside from that, the characters that quickly capture us.

Very quickly, because I don't want to make this about characterization, Chihiro is well written through his past, who he chooses to kill and save, his dialogue that can be surprisingly vulnerable at times, and his cool façade that melts because of how hot he truly runs. He is also straight up a badass. We get handed Char's background in an "all is lost" segment as well as some lore that can present her as a resource for the main cast. We see Azami's phone background photo that's minimum 3+ years old- a government employee with a soft spot for his friends, one who he is still clearly grieving. We get one tiny yet so fucked up bit of Sojo when we see him get a flashback where he's a child and his single dialogue of "I truly love Kunishige Rokuhira," that launched his type of villainy in the maniacal fanboy category. Who does it like that? Nobody but Takeru Hokazono.

Thank you for reading this essay! I do have two other essays drafted, one on Sojo's possible return (I'm a delusional Sojo fan) and just his overall significance and impact as the first villain even if he doesn't return, and on Hiyuki plus servant leadership versus self service.

[falloutjuli]

MORE JOHNNY CONTENT. I got mad brainrot so yeah, I can’t stop writing for him. This time I wanted something comforting, so this came to be. Just casually 5k words of Johnny and reader being two depressed fucks that form a cute friendship and then more.

Fall Out Boy title reference because I can. Try to stop me, I’ll wait here.  

----------------------

Johnny x suicidal!Reader - The Kids aren’t alright. 

Wordcount: 5,4K

Short summary: MODERN AU - While you contemplate jumping off a bridge, you meet a peculiar guy who keeps you grounded. Through time, you turn from strangers to friends to more than words can describe.

Warnings: Mention of suicide, depression, self-hatred, all that Jazz. Gyro and you bully Johnny.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

-----------------------

Your hands gripped the iron railing harder, the metal warm underneath your touch by now. You gaze at the water underneath you, how it taunts you with its flow and the reflecting lights. It looks inviting and yet you can't bring your body to jump over the railing to become one with the water. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought this over. 

In theory, everything was set. This wasn't your first time at this bridge after all. The letter was written, all affairs in order and yet, despite the set up, you felt not ready. So, you just kept staring, going through the dark thoughts that brought you here. A tear escaped your eye, and it would remain only one, you lacked the energy to actually cry at this point. 

"Contemplating suicide?" A voice asked behind you. Your expression soured and without looking away from the water underneath you answered the person who dared to disturb you. 

"If you're gonna ask me to fuck you since I'm gonna ef myself off anyways then do me a favor and jump over the railing yourself." You spat. It wasn't the first time some guy tried to get a pity fuck simply because they assumed you were gonna kill yourself. 

"I wasn't gonna ask for such a thing, but even if then I'd need your help to get over the railing." You turned your head you were met by sapphire blue eyes that looked similarly tired to yours. The guy those gorgeous eyes belonged to sat in a wheelchair, so that's probably why he couldn't make the jump himself.

"Sorry." You said dryly, wiping the tear away that had escaped your eye earlier. "Normally the strangers that wanna speak to me here are perverts." "That sucks." He simply shrugged and now the two of you were staring at the water.

 "Contemplating suicide?" You asked him the same question as he did to you. "Mhm." Was the simply hummed answer. "Life just sucks huh?" You struck up a conversation, unsure why exactly. Everyone else in your life you were trying to push away, yet him you invited to a conversation. 

"Yeah, tell me all about it." A moment of silence passed. "For how long?" 

"Pretty much since I was a kid. I have a pretty shit father. And you?" The boy casually mentioned. It was a strange situation, but you felt somewhat comfortable, so you didn’t mind talking to him more. "Teenage years. Then it was better for a while but now all I mainly do is sit in my apartment all day and think about ending it."  

"You're copying my life story? How rude for someone who just told me to jump over the railing." The boy joked next to you, and you chuckled. "That's the first time in a while that I was able to laugh at something." You said and let go of the railing. "Glad to help." 

You two turned to face each other and take in every detail. The guy was good looking, those eyes were absolutely stunning despite the sorrow they held, golden hair that poked out from under his beanie and framed his face in a beautiful way. A bright blue hoodie with stars for a top and casual sweatpants with vans for bottom. 

You wondered if he inspected you so thoroughly too and judging by his eyes wandering over you he might. 

"Thank you." You said, unsure if he'd get it but going by the faint smile on his lips he did. "No, thank you." And with that, you each turned to get going home. -------

With heavy steps you made your way to the space you dreaded and loved at the same time. 

You had been away for a week. But today it was too much again and so you returned to probably stare at the water again, pussy out and then go home to continue lying in bed. A heavy sigh was let out and you took a deep breath of the cold night air. Just as you were almost at your usual spot you saw the guy from a week ago. 

He was next to the bench in his wheelchair, staring out at the city. You contemplated turning around, not wanting to bother him or anything, but your sluggish steps dragged you to the bench in the end to plop down next to him. "Hey." "Hey." You two greeted each other as if you were friends. In reality, you didn't even know each other's names. 

"Rough week?" He asked and turned to look at you. "Doesn't even begin to describe it. Judging you're here yours was shit too?" He nodded. A moment of silence passed. 

"I don't know whether or not to be glad to have met you again. Because while I like talking to you... Meeting here, at this place at this time of night..." You knew what he was implying. 

"Meeting here is bad, because it means we are here to do something else originally." He hummed in approval. "What's your name?" You finally asked him. "Johnny." 

"Y/N." You answered before he needed to ask. Now you sat there in silence. "Do you have therapy?" You eventually asked him. "Yeah. I have to otherwise I'm sure my friend would kill me. "Sounds adorable."

 "He's a good friend, but I feel like he doesn't really know what's going on in me." "I know what you mean." You mumbled and thought about your friends who had claimed to be there for you only to immediately turn once you weren't happy go lucky. You two fell in silence again. A comfortable one. -----

  Weeks passed. Sometimes you were alone at the bridge. Sometimes by coincidence, Johnny was there too. You had learned quite a lot about each other by now. Johnny is a university student. Before that he was a jockey and a good one at that. 

But an incident which he didn’t want to elaborate on, left him paralyzed from the waist down, which ended his career prematurely. He comes from money but has cut ties with his family and now lives with his best friend, an Italian medical student. 

You also told him about yourself, your home life, which also wasn't the best, how you were now living alone in a tiny apartment to try to fix your life but that didn't work out so now you continuously came to this bridge to end it all. Johnny did it because he struggled massively with his depression and self-hatred. Meeting him had already become the best thing in your life because talking to him grounded you, made you feel valuable. Like you mattered to someone. Today when you came to your usual spot it was empty. Nothing surprising, Johnny and you never agreed on times to meet, it was by coincidence. Yet when you reached the bench, you normally sat on next him there was a paper taped to it. "-⭐ 559-xxx-xxxx "

The star. Johnny wore stars on his clothing and beanie regularly and his last name was Joestar so potentially... He left the note here earlier for you to have his number? Nervously you got your phone out and typed the number in to shoot him a message. "You're lucky I found it." Not too long after a message came in. "Y/N?" "No, the pervert who found your message. Yes of course it's me." "Thank God. I was nervous once I got home you might not come today, and the note would get destroyed." "You're a lucky one." You typed and decided to walk back home already. "I know I am. How are you?" ------

The next time you met Johnny was on his home turf. 

You had texted with him a good chunk before, and he invited you over to his place. To say you were curious and nervous was an understatement. You'd meet Gyro, the Italian Johnny lived with, see his apartment, and room and deepen the strange friendship you two had.

It was a weird feeling, since you had previously only meet on a bridge both of you wanted to jump off to end your life. You pressed the doorbell nervously and waited a few seconds before a tall, blond man opened the door. He had long beautiful hair and shining green eyes with a flashy smile thanks to the gold grills. 

"Gyro I assume." You said, somewhat intimidated, unsure how to carry yourself. You offered your hand and Gyro pulled you into, giving you a friendly hug, making you almost trip over in the process. 

"So, you're the bridge friend! It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny talks a lot about you!" Gyro proclaimed and your blood ran cold. Did Gyro know? "Johnny is over in his room, second door to the left. I'm busy cooking for us tonight, so I'll catch you in a bit yeah?" 

Gyro had something about him that made you feel comfortable despite everything. His energy and smile were a little infectious and you could easily tell why Johnny liked him. "Thank you. Good luck with the cooking." "I don't need luck, it's in my blood." He grinned, before disappearing in the kitchen. You grabbed your backpacks strap a little tighter before you went to Johnny's room, knocking before you entered. 

You didn't know what you thought his room would look like, but it certainly wasn't like this. White Ikea furniture, a big desk with his wheelchair in front of it. On it a high-tech computer. Big wardrobe, opposite to it and to the right, right next to the door was his bed with Johnny on it. 

"Glad you could make it." He said, a smile on his lips. "And miss out on seeing your room and getting to know the funny man that just pulled me inside? Wouldn't miss it for the world." 

On the wall next to Johnny’s bed were several framed pictures which you quickly inspected. Many were of his horse, Slow Dancer, some were with Gyro and Johnny on horses, riding, or doing some fun stuff together. 

"Describing Gyro as Funny feels like a hate crime." Johnny said dryly. "Aw, I like him. He seems fun." You saw a glint of jealousy flash over his face. "No worries, I like you even more." You sat down, next to Johnny on his bed and looked away. 

"Did you tell him why we met? He called me bridge friend." 

"No, no, don't worry. He thinks I just go there to relax and get out. If he knew what I originally went there for, he wouldn't let me leave the apartment without him." 

"Okay, good. I was afraid for a second." 

"Don’t be, I'd never tell him anything you told me that you'd probably don't want him to know. All he knows is pretty much that I met you while out and kept meeting you there. He also gave the idea with the note." 

That was very nice of him. Being immediately branded as "mentally ill", "unstable" or anything was one of your worst nightmares. Before you could say much, Gyro popped his head in. "Dinner is almost ready!" He proclaimed before leaving again. 

"Come on. Let's go." Johnny just said and went to get the crutches near the bed end that you hadn’t noticed until now. You quickly went to grab them for him as you were closer. "Didn't know you could partially walk." 

"I don’t like bragging with dat Physical therapy. I'm also not very good at it, still relying on my chair a huge chunk of the time." "That's still progress though." Johnny tried his hardest to suppress the smile on his face. You just went for the door, opening it for him. 

"After you M'Lady." Johnny rolled his eyes and went ahead so you could follow him to the living room where Gyro had set up the tiny dinner table. You took a seat next to the window with Johnny next to you. Next to him and the window too would Gyro then sit, who now came in, cursing in Italian, probably because the stealing bowl in his hands was burning them. 

"Cazzo." He said as he put it down and you curiously eyed the dark green bowl. Spaghetti. You had to smile. "Well then, I hope it tastes as good as it is hot." Gyro mumbled, taking his seat opposite to you. The first few minutes you simply sat in silence since you were still a little nervous and didn't know what to do. 

"So, your name's Y/N?" Gyro asked with a smile, flashing his grills again. You nodded, forcing an awkward smile. Johnny eyed you, noticed your discomfort and sneakily slid his free hand under the table to take yours. A kind smile adorned his lips, he was trying to make you comfortable, and he easily succeeded at that. Not that you’d let him know that he had too much of an ego already.

"What a pretty name!" Gyro said resting his head now on his hands. "Thank you. Gyro is pretty and quite unique too. You're from Italy Johnny mentioned?" "Naples to be exact. So, you and Johnny are friends?" Before you could answer said blond chimed in. 

"Yeah, but I might need to reconsider because they called you funny." Gyro happily clasped his hands together, his smile growing wider. "Oh Johnny, we both know you’re laughing at my jokes too. You just don’t wanna admit it!" 

The evening was one of the nicest you had in a long while. Gyro and Johnny were incredibly comfortable to be around and got you out of the hardened shell you had developed. 

---------

You unlocked the door with the spare key Gyro and Johnny gave you a while ago. Your backpack was uncomfortably warm by now, so you were happy when you dropped it off once in Johnny's room. 

Can you come over, spare some time? It's a bad day.

Johnny had sent that to you, and you made sure to not lose time before dropping by. 

"Hey." Johnny mumbled. He was entangled in his bedsheets, his head messy, and expression tired. "Hey." You answered and began opening your backpack, a familiar smell immediately invaded Johnny's nostrils. You placed the red box carefully next to him, waiting for his reaction. 

"Did you seriously stop by a McDonald's on the way here to bring me a fucking happy meal of all things?" Ah good, his snarky side was still intact. 

"Yeah. Thought you might like the toy and you apparently need a Happy meal today." Johnny chuckled, falling onto his back and hiding his face with his arm. "You're crazy." 

"That's why you like me." 

"Did you bring Gyro something too? He'll be pissed if he gets back and sees he didn't get anything." You laughed and went back to your backpack, grabbing another happy meal. 

"Of course. Lemme bring it to his room, be back soon." You said and left for Gyros room. You opened the door and placed it on Gyros messy desk that was cluttered with medical books and papers. You pushed it a little aside to not place the meal on anything important and then marched back to your blond friend who needed you today. 

"Did you get it for the “My Little Pony” toys?" He asked as he spun around the plastic horse in his fingers. "Yeah. Got you Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for Gyro." 

"You're ridiculous. Just because we both ride?" You nodded proudly and went to grab your single burger. "Eat, you need it." You reminded him as he begrudgingly shoved some fries in his mouth . 

You both sat against his headboard with Johnny soon resting his head on your shoulder as he chewed on a cheeseburger. "What has you down today?" You finally asked, curious why he had asked you to come over. 

"Today is my accidents anniversary." You furrowed your brows. "You shouldn't keep track of that." "I'm not. The date’s just engraved in my brain. Whenever I wake up on this date, I'm immediately reminded of it." 

Oh Johnny, you thought and went to grab his hand. It was nicely warm, and you intertwined your fingers with his. "Then how about we make it a habit of doing something fun that day. Get your mind off it?" 

With a hesitant and lazy nod Johnny agreed and you pulled out your phone to save it in your calendar. You checked the "Yearly reminder" option and went to type in the name of the appointment. "Johnny Day" you named it and heard a chuckle from you shoulder. 

"A whole day dedicated to me?" Now you nodded and smiled as you went back to your Home screen which was a picture of you Johnny and Gyro together, just doing funny faces. You tossed it aside, as it wasn't important as the blond next to you. Seeing as Johnny was done with his food, you put it away, and then gestured for him to properly lay down.

 As he did as asked, you did the same, resting you head on his shoulder, one of your arms draped around his waist. Johnny's arms also found your frame, pulling you close to him. "You know..." You began as your hand lazily drew circles in his side. "I had a horrible day too. But being here with you now... It made it an okay day." Johnny smiled lazily. "Knowing I made your day better makes mine better." 

You two remained like that. Just holding onto the other and enjoying the warmth and comfort that was provided. 

 "I'm home!" Gyro called out into the dark apartment feeling bad for not being able to be there for Johnny today. He knew very well what day it was and when Johnny didn't even really speak to him early that morning, he just knew what was going on. But he unfortunately had important classes today that he absolutely couldn't skip no matter how bad he wanted to. 

Once in his own room, Gyro was confused by the happy meal box placed on his desk. He giddily looked inside finding a pony toy and some food that has been cold for a while now. Gyro immediately had a suspicious who might have deployed that there. 

With whispered nyo-ho-ho’s he tiptoed to Johnny's room, carefully opening it, only to completely forget his mischievous plans as he saw Y/N and Johnny cuddling together on the bed, soundly asleep. A dreamy smile painted his expression as he just couldn't believe how adorable they were. 

As silently as he could he closed the door again, going back to his room to see if he could heat up his nuggets again. He made a mental note to thank Y/N for their kindness tomorrow. 

-------

You let your head crash against Johnny headboard. Your phone bored you, so you tossed it aside and listened to the mechanical keyboard sounds Johnny made while typing. 

You contemplated just dipping, going home to live your depressive episode in your own four walls without having to worry about Johnny and Gyro. It has been a shit week kind of. 

Nothing went right, pure stress from all sides, stuff that would have anyone down, but you just felt particularly exhausted and drained. Even coming over felt like a chore today and it wasn’t much better than Johnny was a busy bee, typing away code and text without much of a pause. 

You looked over to the blond who downed his third coffee of the day and read something on his screen. Maybe you bothered him? Was he secretly hoping you'd finally leave? Probably not, you knew him well, but intrusive thoughts are intrusive and often illogical, so you were stuck with that. But knowing you'd probably rip him out of his flow you decided to just remain on his bed, not making the effort to leave. 

From the other side of the wall, you could hear Gyro cursing in Italian, he probably got something in his online questionnaire wrong. Somehow that was soothing. The silence with the keyboard sounds and occasionally sounds of a strange Italian man made you feel at ease, so it was better to remain here and not sit in silence in a dark lonely apartment. 

You shifted and went to rest your head on Johnny's blue pillow that smelled just like him. It involuntarily made you smile a little. You simply closed your eyes trying to get some rest and recharge energy by simply trying to relax. And it worked wonders. Your head felt empty and light, letting you just lay there, taking in the sound of Johnny typing away. 

Until the typing stopped. You looked over, wondering why the typing had stopped only to see Johnny looking at you worryingly. To your further surprise, he got up from his wheelchair, which he prefers to use for his desk, and made the few steps over to the bed, using the desk for support before dropping on the bed.

 Once on it he crawled up to you, carefully pressing your back against his chest. "What's with you, you have been so silent all week." He said and you felt bad for making him worry and stop in his work. "Just a shit time. You know how it is." You heard him exhale through his nose, signaling his approval. 

"No need to worry. You gotta work on your assignment." You tried to remind him, not wanting to keep him from more important tasks and to be frank, you felt like the very least important thing all around. But Johnny's grip around you only tightened. 

"Not happening. I'm staying right here with ya. You have been there for me so much recently, the last I can do is be here with you. Also, I have been coming along so well today, I can easily take a break." Absentmindedly you nodded and took hold of his hand. "It's important though Johnny." 

"Right now, you're the most important thing for me. Let me be there, okay Darlin’?" Arguing with the Kentuckian was pointless you knew as much. He was a stubborn asshole, and therefore if he decided to lay with you on the bed, nothing could change his mind. 

"What has you feeling down?" He asked you just shrugged, carefully to not accidentally hurt him by doing so. Death by a shoulder into his face was certainly not cool. "I dunno. I guess everything? This week has just been me making a fool of myself everywhere. From me missing appointments, forgetting my stuff and lots of added stress on top of all that... It's just a lot currently. Lots of people tell me I’m bothering them."

 You turned to lay on your back, Johnny remained on his side, studying you face. You just looked up at the ceiling, as you continued. “I’m not bothering you or Gyro too, am I?” 

Johnny quickly rebutted, “Never. I’d rather you are here and give me an excuse for a break than you sitting alone in that apartment of yours, hear me?” 

You nodded, feeling the breaking point coming as tears build up in your eyes. Crying in front of Johnny wasn’t embarrassing at least, he too had cried in your arms before. It was no big deal. 

“Stay the night yeah? M’sure Gyro won’t mind cooking for one person more. Right?” The last part he screamed, loud enough to summon the Italian from the next room. 

“What was that?” Gyro asked once he too was in the room. You crying, while cuddling with Johnny wasn’t even odd to him anymore. He had walked in on you two doing weirder things, like getting drunk together and quoting old memes. 

“I said you wouldn’t mind cooking for one more person when Y/N stays the night.” “Of course not. You’re always welcome here!” Gyro proclaimed and you thanked him for it before you noticed something. 

“Every time I’m here Gyro cooks. I’m starting to get the feeling Johnny doesn’t cook at all, because he can’t each the top shelves.” Gyro began crackling like crazy and Johnny immediately deadpanned. “I-It’s because he can’t look into the pots o-on the stove!” Gyro managed to press out between his laughs and you laughed like crazy too. 

“I hate you two so much.” Johnny mumbled and let go of you to sit up. “Making fun of my height when I’m in a wheelchair. That’s offensive I’ll have you know!” “Gyro is also taller when you’re standing though.” You argued and earned a flick to the head from the blond man. 

Gyro finally managed to get a grip and made his way to the kitchen, still laughing. “How mean of you, I offer you to spend the night, in my bed of all things and you make fun of me!” Johnny complained and you went to hug him.

“Im sowwy Jownny.” He was cute when he was pouting. “At least you’re laughing, so I accept you making jokes at my expense. For now.” You smiled and kissed his cheek. “There ain’t much to make fun of though. I’m better when I make fun of Gyro.” Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Really?” 

“Yeah. Come on get in your chair, lets bully him back while he cooks.” Johnny did as asked and let you roll him into the kitchen. Normally he didn’t like someone rolling him around. You though? 

You were allowed pretty much anything when it came to him. Even making fun of him.

-------

You huffed and puffed as you moved the boxes. 

"Il mio Dio, Y/N." Gyro mumbled as he went to grab one away from you. "What's in there?" He asked as he watched the poorly scribbled note. "My anime figures." He looked at you with a deadpan expression that you were only used to from Johnny. 

"Ah come on, you already moved in last week. Don't judge me." You complained and grabbed the last two boxes of your own. "Yeah and thanks to us, you won't even need to care about setting up the furniture, we already did that." You bickered with Gyro a little more until you two finally set the boxes inside your new room. 

A while ago Johnny and Gyro had asked you if you wanted to move in with them, in a bigger apartment of course, as it became a totally normal thing to spend a huge chunk of time there already. You happily said yes, excited to not sour in your old apartment anymore but instead to live with your two closest friends.

 Johnny was busy unpacking some of your stuff already while you and Gyro went to get the last boxes from your old apartment with his pickup truck. Once in your new room, you felt content with how Johnny was decorating things already.

 "I'll hang up the pictures though, we don't want them at waist height." You joked and earned an elbow to the ribs from him. "Come on you can't even complain at my work so far." 

You really couldn't. He had set up your plastic plants nicely, made your bed already, however he managed that, Gyro and you must have taken a while, and put the bedside lamp on the table. "No no, you're doing fine. Can't wait to unpack everything and get settled in." 

"Can't wait to finally rest in someone else's bed." Johnny joked. In the time you have known one another Johnny has never been in your old apartment. It was simply a good bit away, wheelchair unfriendly, and super cramped. 

Even Gyro said so and he was in the already empty rooms.

 And it was a regular thing that you and Johnny shared a bed. Gyro considered you two a couple already, besides not officially being one or anything. The blond Italian simply enjoyed watching you two dance around one another, feelings clearly blossomed in both of you. 

"Who said you're allowed in my bed, Johnny?" 

"I did and I know i am." 

"That attitude of yours will be your death someday." 

Silence lingered as you two kept unpacking and sorting. You let Johnny keep on decorating your boards and table, while you were busy stuffing your clothes into your new wardrobe. 

While you were busy trying to get your hoodies into the tiny space, Johnny found something in your box that peaked his interest. A tiny book decorated with Stars and a horse, probably drawn by you. 

Johnny checked over his shoulder, you were still busy and cursing, trying to fit stuff in so he decided to have a look. At the first page his note with his number was taped in. 

He flipped ahead to check what else was here. Receipts from when you guys went out , movie tickets, pictures of you, Johnny and Gyro. You had collected memories in here, he concluded and flipped towards the end. There was a picture of him and you on Slow Dancer that Gyro had taken. Underneath it read "Keep going. For this." Around it you had doodled pretty stars. 

Johnny had been so amazed by this that he didn't notice your looming presence over him. "Weren't you taught not to snoop." You spoke, making Johnny almost jump out of his chair. 

"Sorry, sorry, i was just intrigued." "Dummy." You mumbled and flicked his head, taking the book away into your bedside table drawer it wandered. "It's cute." He spoke. "Thanks. My therapist advised me to try to visualize what keeps me motivated and Honestly ever since I met you, it's been wanting to make more experiences and memories with you." You confessed casually. "Same here." Johnny said with a faint shade of red on his cheeks. 

The buzzing of the apartment door had you both snap out of the situation, and you knew what it meant. 

"Pizza is here!" Gyro proclaimed, setting the boxes down on the couch table. Johnny was already going through Netflix's catalog to pick something to mindlessly watch. 

Once decided, you three sat there, watching some parody movie. Gyro was seated next to Johnny, and you sat on the floor in front of the paraplegic. Dinner was silent, except for Gyros occasional bad jokes as he found the movie not entertaining enough. 

His two friend were soon sick of his antics though, so when Gyro offhand mentioned he still had to go and study some more, the other two silently thanked god for it. 

At first you were alone in your new room, just stretched out on the bed, enjoying the way Johnny had set up things so far, but you knew you'd make it even more homely in the next few weeks. This too would soon come into the book. 

A knock on the door soon interrupted your train of thoughts and you moved to look who entered. It was Johnny to no one's surprise and he casually came over, having taken his crutches from his room. 

"You're getting better at it." "Stop lying." You chuckled. Johnny hated being complimented on his walking progress. 

He described it was "patronizing. No one compliments you when you're normally walking either so why now?" You knew it was mainly Johnny's self-hatred that made it hard for him to accept compliments, so you made sure to give him enough to get used to them. 

Johnny sat down on your bed, the mattress shifting a little as he did and put away his crutches before he scooted over closer to you, embracing your figure in his arms. "Are you happy?" "Now I am." You answered, a chuckle escaped Johnny's body, as he held you closer. 

"I was mainly talking about your room and the apartment but alrighty." You inhaled Johnny scent as you were pressed against his chest, your head resting in the crook of his neck. He felt like home. He and Gyro did. The two had taken prime slots in your heart and you were always in better mood with them around, even on your worst days. 

"Johnny?" "Mhm." He mumbled, obviously just as tired as you. "I love you." "Me you too darlin'." He squished you a little and you gave his neck a kiss in return. 

It was nothing but a casual confession. Just words to properly express and define your feelings towards him now. The lines between "Friend" and "Lover" had long been blurred already. You two didn't need labels. 

You were simply Y/N and Johnny, who found deep appreciation for one another when you met on a bridge you wanted to jump off. 

[zahri-melitor]

Follow on to the “out of context panels” thing - sometimes the issue is that those panels still ARE special, if you’ve read the whole story and know the entire context. But you can’t post all that context, and equally you can’t expect anyone else to import all the same meaning when they look at it.

So to the original poster of the moment encapsulates everything they feel about the run/storyline. To someone who hasn’t read all the same things, they can only interpret based on what is presented. And especially when you’re posting the hard-won emotional moment after a long story, people without the context just start riffing off that and reposting it, without the background of how it was achieved.

Let’s take my favourite panels of Red Robin #12.

Now I love these panels, but I know perfectly well the reasons why I personally love them are not the reasons they tend to get shared around fandom. (For one, Ra’s’ kick is rarely/never posted) The focus tends to be on the “I saved the people he loved” text boxes.

That’s not why I love them, however.

To me, it’s the replay of the epilogue of Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul from, where Yost and To explicitly go ‘you got that we reran this exact story, right? Right?’ to their audience, as they’re explicitly referencing THIS page from ‘Tec 840:

Ra’s kicked Tim out a window the exact same way that Bruce kicked Ra’s. Both Ra’s and Tim are fighting with BRUCE - they’re just fighting him by proxy with each other.

If you are unaware this happened, you miss SO MUCH of what’s happening in those two pages of RR 12. They’re even framed similarly.

Also using the context of this, there’s a fascinating parallel that wasn’t anticipated by the creators, but is extremely useful for arguing against fanon.

In ‘Tec 840, the next time we see Ra’s, he’s unconscious in Arkham Asylum.

In RR 12, we get the Dick catch and the “you’re my brother” scene in the Cave.

Given the mirroring, do I really have to spell out the implication that Dick doesn’t think Tim should be in Arkham? No?

But if I just posted the catch with the caption “Dick doesn’t think Tim should be in Arkham” nobody would understand what I meant.

Or here’s another example of “import your own context” - this panel from Streets of Gotham #21 is hysterically funny to me, someone who has read all of Dini’s ‘Tec and Streets of Gotham run. It’s the payoff of a whole HOST of Hush stories and several others.

I adore how STUPID it is.

To someone without that context, there’s a good chance they don’t even accurately identify who is Tommy Elliot here.

The panels you see circulating will always be slightly out of context because you can never predict that you’ve read the exact same set of relevant comics as another person. The best you can do is point people to what implication you’re taking from the scene (and hope all the sweet hugs don’t get reposted completely stripped of context as they inevitably will be)

(Also everyone who reads RR should read Resurrection INCLUDING the epilogue, the entire missing conversation of what Dick thinks through all this is right there in Resurrection for you, you don’t have to make stuff up)

[admirableadmiranda]

Something that annoys me about this “if you say this character is evil, you’re reading MDZS wrong” is that MXTX didn’t actually mean to write this “oh we’re all grey” story. She openly dislikes JGY, and she thought of JC as WWX’s crazy ex shidi with deep problems. Like, they aren’t there for you to justify their actions (god knows they did it a lot of times already) or to try to make them look good by putting them in the same bag as the protagonists just because “they’re all well fleshed and complex characters that are morally grey and flawed”.

What a way to miss MDZS’s actual message. It saddens me because WWX’s hero journey is as tragic as it is beautiful. I wish I was as brave as him, to oppose injustice even if I am alone against the world.

Yeah I totally get you anon! I’m not sure why it’s so hard for people especially in MDZS to figure out (though I have seen it for her other two works too, but not to the same extent), but she’s actually pretty clear in her work on who’s admirable and who’s not. Even when she’s deliberately using framing to get you to question what you’re hearing versus what you’re seeing, it’s pretty clear who you’re supposed to doubt the narrative about and who you’re not. Jin Guangyao is revealed as the main villain less than halfway through the book, after all!

There are works where that would be an appropriate reaction. Sometimes the heroes can too, be deeply flawed, negative people. But that’s not where MXTX is writing from and from what danmei/xianxia I’ve consumed so far, she has some of the least morally gray characters scattered through her works. She’s clearly very big on the idea that people can and will choose to do good if they want, and also that while it certainly doesn’t exempt them from flaws, that also flaws do not have to be hero killers.

Wei Wuxian is killed not because he is occasionally a little tactless and also keeps people at a distance because it is a very slow journey to trust them enough, but because his morals and willingness to stand up for them are inconvenient to the people in power. He is a flawed, well rounded character, but that’s not why he was hated or why he died. Similarly Jiang Cheng having sympathetic backstory and losses does not exempt him from being a shitty person because as we see in the novel, he’s not the only person who loses everything in his life, but he’s the one who decided to stew in it.

MXTX is so big on your choices define who you are, not your position or history. What matters most is what you do in the shadows and the light. That’s why Wei Wuxian is so heroic, he is always willing to stand by his morals even to the bitter end. It is tragic, but also it’s so full of hope, even! Look at what he has in the end of the story, it is so solidified that his choices and sacrifices did make a difference! Lan Sizhui is alive, well raised and cared for, because Wei Wuxian made that sacrifice for him. Mianmian is out living her best life with Mr. Mianmian and Mini Mianmian because she chose to follow Wei Wuxian’s bravery and has never regretted it. Jin Ling is blossoming under his patient guidance into a wonderful young man who can hold his head high with pride. It may be tragic, but so much good came from it too even if in the immediate moment it was hard to see.

And you know what, anon? We can be that too. Maybe not as far as he goes, but we can still shine bright and make the choices that have positive impacts down the road. We can be Mianmian, inspired by him to do the same that he did on the scales that we can.

The world may be a big thing to save, but we can always save little pieces of it here and there and the more of us that there are, the more powerful it becomes.

[nicklloydnow]

“The transfer of True Lies has a truly vile quality to it, a feeling like someone clandestinely dosed you with LSD just a hair below the threshold. At times it can look passable in motion, but then you notice something out of the corner of your eye: a thick fold of skin, a framed photo of a child, folders that are too thick at the margins, cheeks that look rendered. It’s that familiar dread at the pit of your gut when you spot AI generated imagery, a combination of edges not looking quite right and surfaces that are simultaneously too smooth and too sharp. A crime was committed here, and you can tell.

The transfers of Aliens and The Abyss are markedly less bad than True Lies, but I still have difficulty watching them. The skin looks sterile and waxy with too much film grain removed. Everything looks like it has raytracing on. Both transfers are, however, within acceptable parameters for most normal people.

The recent transfer of Titanic got a similar treatment, with similarly mixed reactions online.

“Why would you do this?” is a logical question. It’s worth contextualizing who handled these “restorations” – namely Park Road Post, a subsidiary of Peter Jackson’s WingNut Films. They have worked on multiple films in the past, but the two that are most germane here are Jackson’s They Shall Not Grow Old and the 3-part Disney+ documentary The Beatles: Get Back. Both movies recontextualize pre-existing footage and, importantly, do so with an aggressive use of machine learning. They Shall Not Grow Old upscales and colorizes old World War I imagery in an attempt to set the bloodshed in a more modern context, while Get Back recycled footage shot for Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s Let It Be, including moments never before seen by the public, to elucidate the process behind the creation of some of The Beatles’ most iconic songs.

(…)

I wish we had stopped Jackson then and there. As my good friend Danielle joked, this was a trial balloon. People praised Jackson for doing this to Lindsay-Hogg’s footage in the name of restoration, and it emboldened him to do worse things. Before the True Lies debacle, the most recent example of this was the aggressively saccharine and confusing Now & Then, a long unfinished demo now finished by Ringo and Paul, edited together with archival footage of younger John and George composited in an a fashion that can be charitably described as tremendously weird.

Lest I am accused of being a luddite, I firmly believe there are many use cases for this technology. Nvidia’s DLSS and competing variants generally work very well on the games they are trained on. I regularly use Flowframes in the rare case that I need interpolation. I have often used waifu2x and now chainner if I need to photoshop a still and my source is bad, and there are databases of countless AI upscaling models. But the flip side to this is that these technologies are often used in place of proper ingest. “Crap in, crap out” is a truism for a reason. I spend a lot of time regularly capturing VHS and Laserdisc at the highest possible quality for fun, and when I see people who should know better say “Just use Topaz” (a commercial AI upscaler) instead of learning how to correctly ingest footage and deinterlace it, it makes me want to pull out my hair, because it almost uniformly looks bad to anyone who works with video professionally.

When you finally do see a piece of footage transferred well, it can be breathtaking. Good archival practices require a lot of institutional knowledge and labor. It’s an art when done well, and the people who do it care so much about what they do. But the modern application of much of AI is precisely about taking labor out of the equation. Why transfer a tape correctly when we can just have a computer guess badly instead? What if crap goes in, and it doesn’t come out?

What makes all of this worse is that True Lies, as I understand it, did not need to be shoved through the AI wringer. According to The Digital Bits, Park Road Post had a recent 4k scan of True Lies from the original camera negative. Park Road Post’s own website claims they have a Lasergraphics Director 10K film scanner on the premises. So what is the purpose of adding AI to this mix? Why do that to a perfectly fine-looking film? What is gained here, other than to slightly yassify an Arnold film? At this point, maybe they are simply doing it just to say that they did, because the technology is lying around, like a loaded gun with the safety off.

Nerds who post on blu-ray forums as a rule often need to calm down, and the forum threads I have read about this are no exception, but there are certain cases where a filmmaker is just wrong about how their films should look. Lucas is the infamous notable example, but Cameron is not innocent here in his treatment of his own films. Wong Kar-wai is another notable example, as what he did to Ashes of Time is criminal as was his recent “remasters” of his movies like In The Mood For Love. In certain rare conditions like this, it’s healthy to question if directors have the best interests of their own films in mind, as Cameron himself personally approved of these remasters.

What actually chills my blood more than anything is the thought that a lot of people think this all looks pretty good. You see this mindset at work whenever an AI fetishist posts a stable diffusion image of a woman with 13 fingers, 40 incisors and comically huge breasts. There’s an entire portion of the population that takes overt pleasure in the over-smoothed, perverts that prefer all media to be fast, high frame rate, and scrubbed squeaky clean. The cameras on our phones don’t simply capture images anymore, they compute them and ‘optimize’ them. It’s Italian Futurism in 4k, a noise reduction death drive. It’s not simply enough for much of digital cinema to look crystal clear and lifeless; the past should be denoised, grain managed and cleaned to conform to that standard. It is expedient and profitable if people don’t remember what film is supposed to look like.

I don’t think anyone gets into preservation to destroy film. I believe that everyone involved with this process worked hard and had the best interests of the film in mind, but the exact nature of restoration itself can vary wildly. I believe that some companies get blinded by new tech, get high on their own supply, and that can result in work that is destructive instead of restorative. I don’t know what the solution to this is in the world we live in, outside of decoupling film preservation from the profit motive whenever possible.

But I am certain about one thing. For a while, much of gaming tried looking like Aliens. Now, Aliens looks like a video game. And that doesn’t sit right with me.”

[wheelercore]

Jumping off of something @mike-wheeler-faggotry said about Terry and Ted

There definitely is an ongoing theme of a "clueless" aka uninvolved/not present parents that are preoccupied with something else, in particular I think, memories.

Terry being the most extreme case as she was forced into a state of catatonia. However, as we see, she's constantly repeating "Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. Three to the right, four to the left. 450". As we learn later are things that particularly traumatic memories for Terry. Her labor, her going to Hawkins lab, her seeing El, and finally her being forcefully shocked. She's perpetually stuck reliving those moments, unable to wake up. Not necessarily PTSD but a suitable comparison.

Victor is also another parental character who is similarly paralleled to both Terry and Ted I think. In fact, I feel like it's a bit overlooked but I definitely believe there was an element of PTSD induced paranoia in Victor's POV. While he ultimately wasn't wrong about there being something supernatural, his narration and description of his experiences and how he felt are a bit telling. Him calling his visions "living memories" which is a way to describe flashbacks. His reactions to said flashbacks being different from Virginia- whereas Virginia screams and runs as anyone would, Victor's reaction to the burning baby is to freeze and hyperventilate.

Similarly, before when hes sitting outside with the shotgun narrating about how he didn't believe the dead animals were a result of a wildcat like the police said, he's noticibly breathing hard, betraying a heightened emotional state. Again, while he wasn't necessarily wrong, the events definitely fed into his already existing predisposition to paranoia- triggering him. And as we see, while Victor was running around, he failed to see it was Henry (or maybe he did and refused to believe it), unlike Virginia who had a suspicion.

Victor is more clearly intentionally paralleled to s2 Ted which is a Choice. But why? Ted is framed on front of the mantleplace, the same place where Victor saw his "living memory":

I'll have to rewatch the wheeler scene eventually but it's 12:30 am and I'm snuggly in bed so correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I can remember Dustin rings the door multiple times in a very annoying fashion before Ted reacts. They make it a point to show us Karen and Ted side by side - Karen reacts quickly enough and gets increasingly annoyed and almost has to ask Ted to answer the door before he actually get up and does it. This scene is... strange because on the surface you would have to just assume that Ted expected Karen to get up and do it, although Dustin does say that the lines been busy for 2 two hours- so clearly Karen is obviously swamped with a matter.

But the fact that this scene exists in ST, where the showrunners are insistent in the fact that every scene has a purpose + was important enough to be paralleled back to later on in s4, particularly with Victor experiencing a vision, makes me think Ted's behavior isnt him being lazy but actually he was out of it mentally or dissociated.

But of course Ted isn't a POV character so we don't really know. They do the same with Mike imo in s4. Virginia also lacks a POV.

[troius]

A brief review of Bleach:TYBW

Really enjoyable, if not perfect. Spoiler-free thoughts under the cut:

The actual animation is great. Us longtime fans of Bleach will remember that while the anime was in general competently animated, and occasionally visually spectacular (see: the Lust), it could also slip into mediocrity (see: the Rukia-Rudbornn fight contemporaneous with the Lust Arc), and could be god-awful (BOUNT ARC). So it’s nice to know sitting down that what you’re going to get will have a minimum of artistic competency, and will at times be genuinely breathtaking. The only issue, really, is that it’s a little static at times, but...we’ll get to that.

The music is good, Shiro Sagisu was I guess clued into the fact that this would be visually darker than the previous anime, and seems to have re-recorded his previous themes to fit the tone. The music doesn’t stand out the way it did in the previous anime, but I think that’s intentional, and it’s certainly not a negative, just a creative choice.

The voice actors (note: I watched the dub) are mostly pretty good, once they get their feet under themselves. Almost everybody is rough in their first couple of scenes, I’m a little concerned that the people putting the dub together didn’t give the talent enough time to rehearse. Nonetheless, by the end it’s all humming smoothly, and the new VAs acquit themselves well with the original cast.

The fidelity to the source material seems strong, although I’m not the one to vouch as I haven’t read TYBW. But nothing seems tonally off, nobody’s characters seem wrong, all the interactions make sense. It’s very clearly a Tite Kubo story they’re telling, without compromise to any other storytelling vision.

So if all this stuff is good, then what flaws exist? I can really only name you one! And it’s really just that the series is a little too faithful to the original works. Kubo’s paneling in the manga is godly, but when converted to animation storyboards can make the animation feel very limited-- we don’t have shots conveying movement, or space, because such things aren’t necessary in manga.

Similarly, page economy means that you can’t afford to throw out character moments willy-nilly in manga, but it’s asking a little much of the TV viewer to jump right into deep emotional investment when we’re reintroduced to characters in the middle of life-or-death fights. Some brief interactions would have done a great deal to familiarize characters who we haven’t seen in a decade, especially as the manga itself was serialized right after the Lost Agent Arc, meaning that everybody had seen those folks last month.

Something that I think is indicative of this is that we had two standout fights in this cour, and they both included lengthy flashbacks which contextualized the combatants and why they were fighting! But as fond as Kubo is of that technique, we can’t expect them in every fight.

Anyhow, this second part will probably be ameliorated in the 2eme cour, now that we’ve seen everybody almost die and been reminded of why we care about them. But I do think it would be worth the anime staff’s time to think about what does and does not work in terms of directly converting panels to frames.

[thebl00dmaster]

Limbus Tamers

The limbus brainrot is terminal and digimon has been worming its way back so why not combine the two together. I’m not the biggest Digimon nerd (mainly watched some Adventure, 02 and Tamers and played Digimon world 3 and Cybersleuth) so I’ve been using Wikimon to help with the evolution lines, while  yes I could just mix and max anything I tried to use Digimon that actually evolve into one another.

I may do another one with Dante, Charon and Vergilius plus any Sinner I want revisit. So onward to my dubious picks!

For Yi Sang I chose this line mostly for his desire to have wings and his association with crows. Plus Yatagaramon is cool.

For Faust I focused on her witch imagery, what with her base E.G.O. giving her a broom and her codename being Walpurgisnacht, and her vast knowledge with Impmon being a stand in for Mephistopheles (I know Mephismon exist I already had settled on witchmon and needed a rookie). AncientWisemon could have gone to Yi Sang since he invented the mirror we use to pull the gacha but it still have that sorcerer vibe.

For La Creatura I settled for the Guilmon line mostly because Gallantmon/Dukemon, being a Royal Knight, fitted with her knightly delusions and also because I remember Guilmon going feral at some points in Tamers. Plus if we go for Dark Digivolutions,when Don completely snaps she could go down the Megidramon (or even ChaosDukemon) route similarly to Takato.

I hesitated a bit with Ryoshu so I ended doing both ideas: I kinda cobbled this one together trying to concile her ties to fire (her E.G.O inflict burn,the “cooking” of the Kebab and that one picture of her burning everything using as her steed) and art with Etemon being a singer and Piedmon being a clown (and circus artist in general).  Plus the Dark Master have throwing knives/swords. 

This one was more was more based on her swordplay and the fact she’s ... ok maybe not “honourable” but she’d rather not do it the “coward’s way”, she straight up refused to disguise herself during the casino heist and wanted to face the Shi assassin head on in Canto IV. So Musyamon popped into my mind and then went up the evo line to try and keep the samurai/ronin theme and Kunemon is here because I couldn’t use Kotemon as it doesn’t digivolve into Musyamon. 

Mr Salt got the Andromon line because he’s very robotic at times, a cog in the machine if you will, plus he is a tank of a man so Guardromon fits well. Also I thought it would be funny if somehow the machine Digimon ended up being more prone to make judgements than its human partner. 

I didn’t know where to go with Hong Lu, I tried with the Devas and little more with Lopmon’s line then I saw QueenChessmon and went “Chess is pastime for hoity-toity rich folk and Hong Lu is a rich boy” and went from there. Not really satisfied but it just clicked in the moment. ... If Hong Lu is playing some 5d chess with us I SWEAR TO -

Another double feature with the other sinner with double seats privilege ... this was completely incidental. This one is based on the brutish side of Heathcliff though Ogremon can be cunning as can our angry british. Titamon is also connected to revenge (specifically against the Olympos XII) so it fits as well. I know Rebellimon doesn’t digivolve to Titamon but fuck it ! I didn’t want Digitamamon on here and that’s the only exception I made, I just wanted to keep mean green demon all the way.

This one came frame from a flash about Telepole Heathcliff and since He’s a bastard I couldn’t him give a regular Gabumon.

I just had to give Fishmael a Whamon because of Moby Dick. As for the rest: I picked Gomamon because I thought it’d be funny to have a laid back partner with how rigid she can be; Dolphmon to transition between Gomamon and Whamon and Plesiomon because it’s a traditional Mega for Gomamon alongside Vikemon.

I must admit being stumped and just going “Waifumon go !”. Might revisit her with a more fitting line sometime.

For Sinclair at first I wanted to give him an avian line then stumbled upon Tsukaimon digivolving into Pidmon and went “time to go the angel route” as a spin on Patamon. Outside of MagnaAngemon (and Angewomon for that matter) I tried not to use Adventure/02 digimon. I picked Dominimon but hesitated between it, ClavisAngemon and SlashAngemon.

For Outism I first wanted to have an Olympos XII member then wondered whether or not there was a trojan horse digimon, Lo and behold there was ! As for the rest I worked my way down : Cherrymon being a duplicitous tree (he tried to manipulate Yamato during the Dark Master arc) fit Outis being suspicious, kiwimon is kind of a filler pick and Alraumon is a fake Palmon. 

Finally for Gregor I picked the Wormmon line though with some changes. I chose Snimon instead of Stingmon to harken to G Corp Gregor and while there’s a roachmon I felt it was too on the nose. As for Bloomlordmon I hesitated with going with GranKuwagamon or HeraclesKabuterimon but leaned more on this one mainly to distance a bit from bugs since Gregor has two plant based E.G.O.

That should be it for now.

[addcests]

a family is you, and you, and :: ch2 - ao3 mirror

pairing the addcest is there if you believe

words 2133

rating [T]

summary "Hey, Dominator, where's Psyker?" It's an innocent question, at first. And then it rings, rings, rings through Dominator's mind constantly, like an incessant nagging that he doesn't want to quite acknowledge presently. Not yet. So he doesn't. "He's out." It's not a complete lie, anyway. --- If you'd ask each Add what family meant, they'd have similarly different answers. A contradiction in and of itself—a testament to the very conception of their existence. Yet, there lies one thing wholly similar; a conviction all three share: they'd fight for their family. And now they must.

note chapter 3 is almost done as well!

“You know, if you’re lonely, I could always invite you back.” When there is no response, he presses, "back home."

There was so, so, so much Dominator could say in lieu of a pretty little offer like that.

“And leave behind my work?”

It's not really an answer, but Dominator loves flitting around topics like this with his new daily visitor.

Regardless, Esper smiles at that, paces his way over to Dominator and kneels into his lap rather abruptly. Unlike a certain younger, inexperienced researcher, Dominator, seeming to expect it, allows the motion without nary a fuss or blush and Esper’s grin grows all the more wider for it. “Aww, no fun,” comes his pretend pout they both expect as well. “Why’s that? I think it would be pretty lively with an extra body.”

Dominator’s not sure if the portal hopper is making light conversation or if he’s seeking something more. Again, he tries not to let that train of thought settle for long. “You know, you shouldn’t even be here.”

“And you should know I’m not very good at doing as I’m told.” Esper chirps without missing a beat because Dominator knows he’s enjoying this way too much.

But Dominator isn’t upset in the slightest. Far from it, signaled by his bemused laugh softening the look on his face. “And I did always so love that about you,” Dominator says, smiles genuinely, gently carding his fingers through the length of Esper’s hair, nails scratching at the scalp. A little display of affection he couldn’t resist. He may have spoken of Psyker having a soft spot for the other but, as time passes, Mastermind—he—would come to grow one as well. “Well, I won’t deny you that. I also do so enjoy your company.” 

Esper’s like putty in his hands, melting into his touch, leans all his weight onto him, and exhales a pleased little noise. 

Dominator lets him, humming as he keeps one hand on the small of his back, fingers dancing absentmindedly along his thin frame while his other hand dances across his keyboard, his attention split between the two. For the moment, he relishes in the silence he’s managed to secure. Even if it’s brief.

“Mmm, where’s the cat cube?”

“Apocalypse,” Dominator corrects, not missing a beat, “is offline. Standby. I have him holding data for me.” 

Esper falls silent once more. Dominator’s not sure if it’s because he’s lazing into his touch

or that nefarious but brilliant mind of his is plotting something. 

“Do you miss him?” Dominator asks, filling the silence. He also doesn’t let Esper answer, and continues, “I may not be a Mastermind anymore, but that simply means I am more than one step ahead, my dear. I know you’ve used him for records. And no, I will not let you see the ones you’ve made.” 

The time traveler finally peels himself off of Dominator (the scientist notes, regretfully) and he peers down at the other. “No? I can’t convince you?” Dominator recognizes that playful quip in his voice. “No way to change your mind?” And Esper leans in closer, the space between the two now long gone. 

Again, Dominator doesn’t miss a beat either, used to their little game now; the hand at Esper’s back still nudges him closer, and he smiles up at him. “Not at all,” he replies back just as easily. “I’m used to your little tricks, Esper. That may have gotten a rise out of me before, but it’s different now.” 

Esper pouts, head tilting as he regards the scientist before him, a glaring juxtaposition of how he he's completely ignoring the compromising position he put them in. “Is it really so different now?” 

Dominator doesn't stop his laugh, leans over to place a chaste little kiss on the corner of his mouth to satisfy the time hopper. 

He hasn't the faintest idea.

“Are you going to tell me to go home now?”

This time when Dominator laughs it’s for a different reason, chuckling. As his eyes narrow with mischief, he smiles brightly at Esper. “I was under the impression that a certain someone doesn’t listen very well.”

“That’s right!” Esper sings songs, his face beaming with a mirthful cheeriness upon hearing Dominator’s answer, and makes himself even comfier in Dominator’s lap. 

Dominator doesn’t mind the company, and so he finds himself working with Esper cuddling close. He finds it adorable, really. Especially when he turns his full attention back to Esper and finds that he actually dozed off, smiling to hear the light exhales that signal a deep sleep. A rare luxury for him. There’s no way he was going to send him along his way like this, so Dominator lets him rest as he is.

Before the scientist knows it, time escapes them both and Dominator can feel his legs turn to jelly from supporting the other’s nearly dead weight. Esper started pretty upright in his lap and arms but now he’s completely sprawled along him, limbs every which way. Not much unlike that of a cat. He smiles down at the still-dozing Esper, ruffles his hair affectionately, and scoops him into his arms. 

He saves his work and shuts it down, locking it. Back turned, he proceeds to the ever-familiar corridor he’s growing acquainted with lately and makes for his bedroom. If Esper wants to doze so much then at the very least he could do so in a proper bed. Another luxury. 

Dominator doesn’t bother stripping down and joins Esper for a little cat nap.

He suspects the other will be gone long before he can wake anyway, which he doesn’t mind. It’s the last thought he has as his eyelids grow heavy and he lets Esper curl into him more.

When he does wake, it’s as he thought. Esper is long gone, the spot on the bed that held his weight is still there but barely evident. He sits up and rubs at his teary eyes from sleep, looks around, and his eyes lock on the digital clock displaying the time. He also sees the framed photo he recalls from the other day or so. 

Upright this time.

Certainly not of his doing. 

===== → loading … :\\ destination found: 100% =====

“Feeling lonely?”

“No,” comes Mastermind’s curt reply as he walks away from Psyker who has decided to flop all against the couch, occupying all the space. So much for sitting there too. If he is going to be so rude, Mastermind could simply find somewhere else to be. Without sparing the taunting brawler anymore thought, the scientist makes his way to his lab, mug of coffee in hand, thoughts aimlessly wandering. 

He steps into the entryway to the lab, looks around and notices a familiar glint out of the corner of his eyes, and smiles down at a few pictures Psyker had set up some many months ago.

“You stay in there so long, you’ll forget us. So here’s some pictures.”

Obviously, the brawler was always being a little shit, joking as loves to do, but it was a nice sentiment. He appreciates it more than he can put into words. (More than he can ever tell him.) 

His eyes then fall to the singular frames that held solo shots. (Vaguely, he couldn’t help but wonder when those shots were taken.) He walks by the table, fingertips brushing along the edges as he takes step after step. Shortly after, he comes to a halt before a familiar frame. It was a shot he tried so hard to veto but it was an unfair matchup of two against one from the start. The photo of the three was Psyker's idea. And Esper was in on it. So, of course, Psyker would include this one. No thanks to help from Esper. 

“Mastermind!” comes the time distorted voice.

And speaking of his favorite time traveler.

As always, he hears Esper before he sees him. Frantically, he nearly drops his mug trying to place it aside, knowing that Esper would be landing in his arms in three, two—the impact of catching his lithe frame still jostles Mastermind around, never fully prepared to catch Esper. “Why can’t you just come through your portals normally!?” He hisses. 

“I have absolutely no clue what you mean.”

“Esper,” the scientist starts again, his tone warning as he turns his head the other way to avoid the affectionate nuzzle from the other. 

“You’re no fun! Unlike a certain someone else,” comes Esper’s light pout. Most likely fake, Mastermind assumes.

He wonders why he’s bringing up Psyker though, because he could as easily blink in and out to him just a room away. “Well, if you want the certain someone else, you’ve missed him by some coordinates. He’s hogging the couch. And—will you cut it out! That t-tickles…!” He doesn’t mean to let his voice stutter with colorful laughter, but when Esper noses at his neck like that, nuzzling into him, it’s not ticklish. It’s embarrassing. But hell if he’ll let Esper know that, or that he likes it so much. “Psyker’s in the other room I said already… !”

Their struggle proves too much for him, so he helps Esper to steady his feet, giving the other no choice but to stand. 

He frowns at this new arrangement and Mastermind’s answer, then replies, “I’m not talking about Psyker.”

And as usual, what is a conversation with the great Diabolic Esper now and then if he wasn’t left a little puzzled afterwards? Despite this, he isn’t here to decode whatever was running through his counterpart’s scheming mind, so instead, he asks, “Where were you this time?” He watches as Esper walks around him, strolling past the entry point of his lab like it’s his. (Though, technically it was at times. The way he uses his things without his asking and Mastermind simply coming to accept this fact.) 

“Out,” he drawls, eyes darting around before he hops into a portal, and appears on the far opposite side of the lab. “Where’s little Apoca?” And then blinks back into a distance near him, being courteous enough to not force Mastermind to strain to hear him or shout his reply.

“Somewhere around here. Why?” When he’s finally within earshot distance with Esper once more, he places a hand on his hip and raises an eyebrow at him, “I know it’s you stealing him and not Psyker. Which, by the way, he did not appreciate you using him as a scapegoat.”

As he paces around the lab, checking over his scattered devices and parts, Esper finds said cat cube nestled among Mastermind’s things as if it were a bed. He sets Apocalypse upright, and boops him. “Why not? If you can do it, can't I? Since you blame him for everything else don’t you?”

“That’s—!” Not true. He wants to say, but the words fail to leave his lips. And even if Esper is only teasing, Mastermind still clamps his mouth shut and averts his gaze. This time, he folds his arms to his chest before speaking again, deflecting as he does, “What do you need Apocalypse for today, Esper?” 

The little cube then boots up from sleep mode. The cube’s cat face lighting up and its ears twitching as its system and configurations load. As soon as it recognizes both creator and partner, Apocalypse snuggles into Esper’s hold, nuzzling his palm demandingly.

“You have spoiled him rotten,” Mastermind chides, voice nagging. But despite saying so, he bites back a smile as he walks over to the two, patting Apocalypse fondly. 

“Don’t worry, Mastermind, I’ll bring him back soon. He makes a great napping partner.” Esper turns his owlish stare towards the scientist. “Or, will you join me instead?” However, the devilish smile that forms on his lips after indicates a very false innocence that Mastermind could clearly see through.

Mastermind does not stutter as he exclaims his name. “E-Esper!” He definitely doesn’t blush afterwards either!

Esper's cackles echo through the lab as he watches Mastermind try to hide his red cheeks. His lips curl into a satisfied smile as he whirls around with Apocalypse bundled in one arm and his free hand waving over his shoulder. They both knew the exclamation of his name was answer enough.

As it is, Mastermind hardly gets much more of a say, only left with the choice to watch as Esper blinks out of sight with Apocalypse in tow, its synthetic meows the only thing left echoing in the spacious room of the now empty lab. It’s not as if he had plans to truly stop Esper, chaotic little thing that he is. Still, he sighs softly, though there isn’t a trace of annoyance to be found. 

Smiling to himself, he speaks to the long-gone Esper, “Though, perhaps I was the one that spoiled you rotten.”

[nefamphetamine]

chainsaw man deep dive chapter 3: arrival in tokyo

warning: this will contain spoilers for the entirety of the chainsaw man manga as this is a re-read and analysis

this chapter can be divided into three acts: the first act, leading up until the alleyway scene. the second act, which is the alleyway scene. and the third act, which is what comes after.

the first act

high off of makima's charm, denji arrives in tokyo in a daze. before we know it he's dressed in the uniform of the public safety officers and ready to meet his new partner, 3 year veteran aki hayakawa.

aki is everything denji isn't: put together, disciplined, focused, and motivated. this sets up his character in an antagonistic position against denji. how are the two going to get along together when they're so different?

well, they aren't.

as they're patrolling the streets, denji attempts to make locker room chat with aki, much to aki's annoyance. this is framed really nicely because the two dont know each other at all and grossly misunderstand each other from the moment they met. denji views aki as some random polite society working man and aki views denji as a teenage brat looking to get in on dangerous business for no real reason. we'll later learn that aki's sense of purpose is central to his character and explains why he chose to act so extremely towards denji.

having had enough of denji, aki takes him into an alleyway and begins to beat him up. knowing denji's backstory, the audience is inclined to further sympathize with him and dislikes aki, or at least view him in a more negative light. but to denji's credit, he gets up and gives aki a taste of his own medicine in the best way.

before i go on, i think its important to backtrack a bit and carefully examine the events leading up to this point.

deeper dive into the first and aecond acts of ch.3

leading up until the alley scene, it is important to note that what ticks aki off the most is denji's comments regarding makima. we learn quickly as an audience that devotion, and even blatant affection, towards makima is not an uncommon thing. aki brawling with denji further implies that his respect for makima may be more intimate than he's admitting.

while we learn after the alley scene that aki was recently put in charge of a special squad, he was not made aware of denji's role or his abilities. i suppose makima assumed they would just feel each other out before the big devil hybrid reveal. up until the alleyway, aki believes denji is a standard new recruit, one he's seen come and go (see: die) many times before. he takes denji for his word when he says this:

we all already deduced this but i think its still worth mentioning: denji is not a reliable narrator and he does not have a clear understanding of the situation he's in. maybe it was his coping mechanism, growing up under blatant and constant threat of the yakuza ending his life early that he decided the way to stay sane was to pretend the threats were not as true as they were. denji's feelings towards makima, strange and contradictory considering how similarly she treats him to his old handler (and that's what she is; a handler. a dog handler). makima threatened him with execution at the gas station. but once he submitted to her after the muscle devil's trick, did he make himself forget? i think he must have. i think denji is very, very good at choosing his own narrative. and because this self deception coexists with denji's knowledge of his own mortality, he can accept his death if makima is the embodiment of his dreams.

on a much smaller note, i think aki is a bit too shocked at the whole situation to process the information that denji is giving him; that he was wildly disadvantaged and lured into all this by makima. in the context of denji's words, it isn't very hard to come up with the conclusion that he may have been coerced into being a public devil hunter. this is significant because denji's a teenager, a minor, and chained to a government organization. and aki isn't stupid.

this is quite a harsh jab from aki considering denji just all but stated he came from a really bad situation.

even so, denji hauls the collapsed aki back to headquarters, which is actually as surprisingly nice as it is funny.

back at headquarters, denji and aki are drawn leaning on each other despite their feelings towards each other. it's safe to say they're not quite friends yet but they've managed to reach a sort of unspoken understanding from their fight.

makima now drops the big reveal; denji is a member of the new special squad aki was tasked with leading. aki discovers that denji is a human-devil hybrid, a practically mythological concept.

i think denji's reaction further proves what i said earlier about him choosing his reality. this should not be shocking to him. makima already treated him like a dog and threatened him with death. did he really think she would let him go?

denji's mind is at war with what makima is promising him and the contradictory treatment. she isn't actually hiding anything. she's truthful about what she'll give him, for the most part. it just doesn't mesh with the death threats and ownership stuff. i don't think denji is STUPID, i just think he's scrambling to hold onto his dreams in an increasingly unfamiliar and dangerous environment.

the third act

denji and aki go back onto patrol. meanwhile, denji is still struggling with his affection towards makima and what she just told him. he asks aki if makima is a good person. and aki, similarly to denji, has a hard time dissociating makima's angelicism with her ruthlessness. aki chooses to rationalize this by focusing on denji's status as part devil. interestingly, aki chooses to see makima as a good person despite all of this. that kind of goes to show what chainsaw man is all about; flawed people who oftentimes have to do bad things for the larger good. and that larger good varies from personal freedom to saving the world.

more makima observations

to end this off, i want to talk a little more about makima. i think it's easy for me to say she's one of my favorite csm characters. i love her duality and how she's shrouded in mystery. she's eerie and feminine, and an overall unique character.

makima doesn't make an effort to hide her nature. that's why the reveal that she's a devil hits so hard; it was right there and she doesn't care if you choose to acknowledge it or not. either way, she's in control. she dishes out sweetness, false as it is, in a futile effort to not only achieve her ends but to form relationships. obviously her relationships are not true. there is a big difference between admiration and understanding, as aizen sosuke (bleach) put it best. but it's the only way she knows how to reach out. this is more relevant for the later events of csm though, since she's not interested in denji in any real way.

i just think it's neat that makima knows how to navigate and manipulate the people around her not only to achieve her ends but to garner love and affection, as fake as it may be. she exudes the confidence only a person comfortable in their knowledge that they will always be adored does.

thanks for reading.

[incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes]

22

22. Because I Liked a Boy by Sabrina Carpenter 

Similarly, I think this one was from last year as well, but I think I got two requests for 22 last year so let’s do it again! Last time it was Talking to Strangers by Maisie Peters which you can find here.  

I did make a gg edit to this song on my IG here that maybe I’ll remake once we have the fancast set up. 

You know when you clean your room and you come across random stuff and then you get distracted by it and suddenly it’s been hours and you have no idea when you gave up the task of cleaning, but you definitely did? 

Yeah, that’s how Cammie’s friends found her in Zach’s room- now her and Zach’s room a few hours into the unpacking venture. 

“Cam?” Liz asked. They could see her if they looked over the stacks of boxes. She was sitting on the floor, staring at something in her lap. When she didn’t answer, the three made their way into the room. 

“Whatcha got there?” Macey asked, sitting beside her. Bex and Liz remained standing in between two stacks of boxes. 

Cammie kept looking at the pages in her lap. They were open as if she had been reading whatever it was. Bex and Liz exchanged a glance, considering taking drastic measures to get through to her. And drastically they meant either physical force or summoning Zachary. 

“Earth to Cammie,” Bex finally tried, as a last-ditch effort. 

Cammie was still quiet for another moment before she let out a sigh. “It’s my report. From when I was dating Josh.” 

The girls made similar confused faces at the revelation. “You still have that?” Macey asked. 

“I would have thought it went up in flames with the academy,” Bex remarked.  

Cammie shook her head. “I still have all of them. Or my mom does. At least I thought she did, but” she let her thumb flip some of the pages in her lap. “Here it is.” 

“So,” Liz started, gently. “What’s wrong?” 

Cammie sighed. “Just... realizing in retrospect this was the catalyst for everything that happened these past few years.” She closed all the pages back together and plopped them into her lap for emphasis. “Who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless,” she added, scoffing at her younger self. 

“Cammie,” Macey started. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

“It’s not like you knew,” Bex added. “None of us knew or could have known. And we helped you so if you’re guilty of anything then so are we.” 

“Oh no,” a voice from the doorway sounded. Four heads turned to meet Zachary, leaning against the frame. “What are you all guilty of now?” 

Cammie smiled at him. “Nothing new. I promise.”  

“Good,” he said, coming to join them. “Now, what’s going on in here? I know unpacking is boring, but it feels like somebody died in here.” He crouched in front of Cammie in the confined space and raised an eyebrow. “Is that one of your reports?” 

The girls all rolled their eyes, but Zach paid no mind. Cammie nodded. “Yeah. First semester, sophomore year.” 

“Ah, yes. Jimmy,” that time Zach chuckled as the girls slapped their hands to their foreheads at his comment. “Why is that such a bummer? Besides the fact that it’s not about me?” 

Bex groaned. “Seriously, Goode, just get out. Girl talk.” 

“Baxter, you can’t tell me to get out in a room I paid for,” Zach reminded her. 

“We saw a movie once,” Cammie said, ignoring their banter and bringing the attention back to her. “I said I wanted thin mints and he said he knew a guy. The movie was some cheesy romcom. We joked about the trope where the guy shows up at the girl's window with a boombox. Stars in his eyes. I asked if he’d do that for me. He said yes. We listened to the black-eyed peas in his truck after.” 

Her four companions were quiet following her words. Cammie couldn’t blame them, but she hadn’t been speaking for their benefit anyway. 

“You never told us about that. At least not those details,” Liz said, eventually. 

“Yeah, well,” Cammie exhaled. “I had to keep some things for myself. In hindsight I should have kept it all to myself.” 

“Gallagher girl,” Zach speaking finally got her attention. She knew he wouldn’t continue until she looked up at him, so she did. “None of what happened was your fault.” 

“It’s not about fault,” she explained. “I feel so deeply into something that I thought was so innocent. But nothing ever is. And because I did that, everything else happened. It might not have been my fault, but I was still the cause.” She could see the frowns on all their faces. The distinction wasn’t enough for them. “I’m not catastrophizing,” she added. She must have been reading Liz’s thoughts the way the other girl averted her gaze at Cammie’s words. “But you can’t deny that everything derailed after that point.” 

“You were just kids,” Macey defended. “You were both trying to get through your own shit in your own way. Together.” 

“Exactly, Cam,” Bex chimed in. “It’s not fair that you doing normal teenage things resulted in...” she trailed off, not sure how to best phrase the thought to be helpful. 

“Death threats?” Cammie did it for her. 

Zach lifted the pages off Cammie’s lap. He flipped through them with his thumb, similar to how Cammie had earlier and too quickly to read any of the words. “You both wanted an escape from the roles you thought you were assigned. We all know what that’s like,” he said, not looking at her now.  

Cammie was looking at him intently. Zach was the only person in the room now that wasn’t present for the events from that semester. But he was still right, somehow. 

“You thought you needed someone to tell you, that you didn’t have a choice,” he went on. “But you did. And, hopefully, you still think you made the right one,” he looked up at her then. 

Cammie smiled, seeing through to what he was actually saying to her. “I did,” she reassured him. “It’s just,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “All of this for what?” She looked to the side and her friends saw her other reports were sitting in a box next to her. “When everything went down, we’d already broken up!” She took the report back from Zach’s hands and threw it onto the floor away from them in an exasperated fashion. Her head hit the wall she was leaning against with a slight thud. “All because I liked a boy.” 

The room fell silent once more. She didn’t say it like she was sad or angry or looking to be consoled. It was just a statement. After a moment, Zach stood up and retrieved the report. He placed it in the box with the others and closed it. 

“It just sounds insane,” she spoke up again. “That all of this could come from... that. The most inconsequential semester of my life.” That earned a few snorts of amusement from her friends. 

“Ouch,” Bex said. 

“I know,” Zach added. “I’d hate to be Jimmy right now.” 

Cammie groaned and put her head in her hands. “That’s not what I meant!” she said, voice coming out muffled. Her friends just laughed. 

“Come on,” Zach said, prodding her. “No more existential dread. You’ve got to unpack.” She let Zach pull her to her feet. “We can get back into it, Lizzie can tell us all about the butterfly effect, it’ll be great.” 

Liz’s face lit up at that and the other girls fought the urge to groan as she launched into something they had heard many, many times. But they always listened because that’s what friends did. 

While Bex and Macey were invested in a new addition to Liz’s lecture, Zach took Cammie to the side. “For the record Gallagher girl,” he whispered to her. “I’m honored that even though I’m not your first love, I’ll always be your favorite.” 

Cammie rolled her eyes as he winked at her. She should have known he’d read too far into the inconsequential comment. “Oh, shut up,” she said, pressing her lips to his. 

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Fly with Me by Andie Burke

4.25/5. Releases 9/5/2023 (audiobook).

Vibes: hot lesbian pilot/anxiety-ridden bi nurse, mental health dealt with wonderfully, fake dating, trauma bonding in a good way, and very solid vibrator usage.

While on a flight to fulfill her comatose brother's bucket list, nurse Olive has to leap in and save the life of a passenger, unintentionally becoming a viral sensation. She wants to avoid the attention--but the super sexy pilot Stella makes an instant connection with her. So when Stella asks Olive if she'd like to fake a relationship in order to help Stella move up the career ladder... I mean, Stella is very hot.

A sapphic romcom debut that had me totally engaged the whole time--and it did hit me me in the gut a couple times. Yet it was also fun and sexy! Very impressed.

Quick Takes:

--One thing I really appreciated about this novel was the way that it was funny, but was also a bit devastating. There are a lot of intense things dealt with here. I never felt overwhelmed, however. A sad moment would be cornered by a happy moment. There was a lot of bittersweetness. Never in the romance, but in everything surrounding it. And I think that, overall, Andie Burke did a great job with having those issues act as an impetus for Stella and Olive to be together, rather than a distraction from their love story.

--I really appreciated the way this book touched on how nurses are diminished and dismissed by the general public, especially in the wake of COVID. The author is a nurse, and she does a great job of, again, framing this without letting it take over the fact that this is a romance novel.

--About this being a romance novel... I so enjoyed this love story. I often feel like sapphic romances kind of turn into "everyone is smiley and smart and they don't have dumb issues" stories. Which I get! We want queer love framed in a positive light. But the thing is, men in m/m romances get to be dumb and horny and messy.

Stella and Olive are undeniably both good people, but they are also dumb and horny and messy. A good part of the reason why Olive agrees to this fake dating scheme? Is because she really really really really wants in Stella's pants. And why wouldn't she? Stella is a hot pilot, hypercompetent, super lovely, and very good in bed. And you did get to see how good she is in bed.

I think that Andie Burke did a thing I would love to see in more sapphic romcoms, which is just like... mess. Olive and Stella act like a couple of morons in the best possible way, because feelings are hard. Olive has a crazy ex who I feel some may object to, but I don't know. She felt like an old school romcom crazy ex, which is to say, loathsome, but--not impossible. Especially with a partner like Olive, who feels so concerned about accommodating others.

--Speak of accommodating others, I will say, the emotional abuse Olive receives from her mother in particular is like... intense, and it's not the stereotypical sapphic romcom issue, and it did make me feel so fucking bad for Olive. The situation she was in is just impossible and heartbreaking and something I think a lot of people should put more thought into.

And frankly, there isn't a bow put on the issue at the end. Sometimes families are rough. I appreciated that this romance could cover love and cover that at once.

--That said, Stella has a similarly complex but more loving family unit. I don't think I've read a contemporary romance before where the heroine is gay and her dad is also gay? And we should see more of that.

--The one thing I will say is that I think Andie Burke could've written this as dual POV, and it would've benefited from that. At points, being in Olive's head only made it feel like she was a universal victim. I would've liked to see more of Stella's POV, not just because Stella is probably my favorite out of the two, but because she had a lot of her complex issues going on that I think we should've seen more of.

The Sex Stuff:

This is a slow burn, and it does take a while for this two to have sex. But when they do, it is quite hot. I really loved the usage of toys in this book, which we should totally see more of. I feel like whether I'm reading m/m or m/f or f/f or even poly romances, I don't see enough toys.

Anyway it was hot and I especially love the shower scene.

A very strong debut, and a great edition to the f/f romcom canon, which needs to be broader. The narration was solid as well.

Thanks to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for providing a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

[solitalien]

A Portal to Another World

Just want to put this here to say that one, the story is really long and two, is kind of creepy. I’m not really gonna put a warning because I don’t necessarily see what’s creepy just strange. Anyway, this was the dream that I had last night.

Last night I had a very strange dream. One, that although may appear like the rest, actually kind of freaked me out for some reason.

It started with me at a friend's house for a sleepover. It was kind of pool party that never really led to us going into the water. The house was huge and reminded me of a car dealer ship with how it was formatted. Though held tons of furniture, mostly couches and bean bags all in a monochrome setting.

This “friend” who had invited me similarly looked like my ex-partner but also not. It sorts of translated in the dream that this was my ex but looked nothing like them. They had a different face and body but just felt like them. it was strange.

There were five of us total in the beginning with it ending in three. the other three guests who had attended was one of my coworkers, my younger sibling, and a random girl who was just made up from my dream. I don't quite remember how it got to only three of us by the pool, but it just did. I noticed that there were some people missing so I went to go and search for them. My ex gave me a very confused look as they also didn't understand why we were the only one's hangout. I looked around the house when I stumbled upon them.

The two other people who “left” were my younger sibling and the girl. They went into a spare bedroom and just laid in their seeming very annoyed when I went and questioned them on their behavior. They were just lying there on the beds playing on their phones when they said the left because they were bored.

When I went to go and tell the others my ex seemed really upset, but not angry upset, but sad actually. They went and laid down in the lounge area and my coworker who had stayed with them tried to cheer them up to no avail. It made me really sad about the whole situation that I went and lay down with them. Facing them.

I remember that their expression the whole time from when I came out to of the spare bedroom was mixed with disappointment and confusion. That it was their fault the party "wasn't" as "interesting", that they were on the brink of tears. It made me genuinely sad, because I knew what that felt like.

When I laid with them, I rested my forehead against theirs. I did it as a way to show that I’m here. Even if no one else showed up today. I’m here.

I remember in reality that when me and my ex broke up that I told them that if they needed me for anything they could always reach out. They hadn't ever since, but still, it's true.

The moment broke when their mom came home, and it was time to have dinner. Everyone gathered around the table and the house changed from a spacious place to suddenly a cluttered one. The dining room remained me of a Texas Roadhouse without all the animal heads and was actually kind of messy. I sat across from my ex with my coworker and their mom on the same, with my younger sibling and the girl sitting with me.

We were enjoying our meals and engaging in conversations when something about a painting was brought up by the mother. My ex looked as though they had done something absolutely unforgivable then looking up at the wall behind me. Wanting to know why I look as well, and I see a row of paintings above me all old and with very detailed frames. With a spot in the middles where one should be, empty and full of mold.

The next dream I had I was shopping. Specifically for skin care products and other things that I would try out or enjoy.

Nothing too crazy happened, at least for a long while until my younger sibling showed up with their “friends” to also get things. It was a group of girls with one standing out. She had shoulder length wavy brown hair and was taller them my sibling. They were all trying to persuade me to get certain items that cater to their interests, and I wasn't bugging. They all sounded selfish and bratty after all.

I decided I’d had enough of their blabbering and went to the checkout to buy my things, with them of course following me.

I remember specifically when I arrived the tall girl got in front of me and started scanning my stuff. She looked very eager as she did so, as if maybe she was the one scanning the items, it meant she could have them. I stopped her saying that I can check out my items just fine, and she gave me a very angry expression that was a mix of frustration and defeat. She went over to my sibling complaining, and I bought myself a pack of gum.

The last part of my dream I was in a very strange convenience store that was like a huge garage and was mostly empty being only the four walls. I was an employe there and it consisted of workers who were either very much in their forties, or young teens. I worked in the back which was with mostly teenagers who I didn't really talk to. Nothing was really needed, and I would mostly crouch against the wall not really talking or interacting with anyone.

I remember there being one girl who for some reason thought I was really cool and wanted to be friends with me. She never really got the chance as I always kept my distance from everyone. I don't know why.

In the back there appeared to be tons of drawings scattered against a certain wall. It was by a wall that was near the exit the building, except the exit looked more like a very small door. Held together by old scraps wood.

My coworkers told me that the wall of drawings were there for inspection because of the school.

Oh, did I forget to tell you that the store was also apart of a school? Sorry, dream logic.

The school was very strange with one of the class I was apart of being art. The teachers seemed really strict, teaching in strange ways that never made sense. I was always proper around them as I could easily stand out if I missed behaved. The class only consisted of five students.

When I appeared back at my job I remembered the teachers talking about an art inspection. I understood the paintings now.

I went on break when the art inspector showed up, who appeared to be a very cutthroat type of guy. He tried to question me as to all my coworkers I was very emotionless, which meant something. They were right.

When I arrived in the break room my younger sibling was there. I was questioning them and it lead to an argument. I don’t quite remember what we were yapping about but it ended with them saying “If the worst thing I could be [my name], it would be you.”

When they said that it completely tipped me over I started laughing. Like a crazy man who had lost his damn mind.

The inspector heard this and smiled all twisted. He knew what he had to do. He ran into that small run down exit door which was actually the missing painting at my ex’s house.

The man was giggling nonsense when I calmed down like he was the one who had truly gone insane. It was like he was calling for me too. To join him. To enter into this world that I possibly couldn’t imagine. And that I did.

I entered the painting and I was no longer myself. I was in my backyard and the sky was a soft orange. I was moving around as if I was on the moon having no control over my body. I became so upset over this that I spit into four. All of us moving around even phasing through each other.

I hated it so much that I was trying to figure out a way to leave. When for some reason written on a piece of cardboard was the word “cherries” being written itself. That was the flavor of gum I chose. I made my way over to the cardboard and tried writing it down as well the best I could. When I did the door to my house opened and it was bright. I ran as fast as I could and when I entered, I was on the other side of the painting on the floor exhausted. When I looked up, I saw my ex looking at me with such love and worry in their eyes. When we made eye contact, we instantly ran towards each other embracing one another so tightly. After that I woke up.