#been having many many negative experiences and tbh? i dont think i was the same person i was before…

[theevilicecreamsoda]

One day I’ll be able to be free and I won’t be as lonely. I can make my living space what I want it to look like. I can have my alone time. I don’t have to worry about other people’s parents making me anxious and scared. I can actually decide what I want to do and how I look and at least a bit more of what I want my life to be

[leclerced]

not to defend lance but I'm the same anon from before but...i kinda get it like if someone getted fucked by like 20 guys(also me: has fucked raw on the 1st date), I'd hesitate too like what's the STI protocol here? Do they get checked weekly and hand in their results to lando and oscar lmao??

nah i think ab that too and laugh but its just an au so i dont care ab technicalities in the general brainrots bc i’m only gonna include a few of them in the actual fics i write, not the entire grid, i don’t like majority of them enough to ever write about them tbh. bunny’s a virgin when she meets lando, lando’s only been fucking bunny for years. so they’re both negative for everything. im gonna write ab it but after the first night w max, they have a talk about what they want to experiment with. it was a spur of the moment thing and if they do it again it needs to be thought out. she wouldn’t want most of them. it’s gonna be the ones she already has a prior relationship with, people she’s comfortable with. not any guy who thinks she’s a hot piece of ass. i’m still thinking about who and how many and how to space it out and the timeline bc bunny’s an innocent baby and i want it to be like a one or two time thing w a few drivers over the course of a season or two. i want it to be semi-realistic as unrealistic as it is.

any guy would be screened by lando prior and he’d want to see test results. they’d have regular checkups themselves and realistically there wouldn’t be any unprotected sex, like in the one fic i wrote max went raw cause they don’t have them on hand. (im just a whore for max and i wanted him to do it raw.) but i’ve got it planned in later fic that lando buys a box of variety condoms LMAO they’d also happily give their recent test results if any of the guys asked bc safety first !

[narwhalandchill]

wuwa rambles incoming, on the negative side ish (?)

so i also ended up downloading wuwa to test it out despite being fairly confident in the assessment that it Will not be a long term thing for me (and yeah stand behind that one after day 1 and some today) and like

firstly yes the state of the game is in shambles lmao like it really wasnt finished in time for release in terms of performance and polish At All. on my side luckily the overall experience has been more or less okay on medium graphics with some glitches and a total of two crashes but its still like. this isnt an optimized game at all. ppl rly have been taking genshin being incredibly cautious with new systems and additions (so that the game actually Functions) for granted i suppose 💀 and or consistently taken the most uncharitable angle towards it . like yes we shouldve had xyz since forever but i 100% believe theres actual spaghetti code behind things taking long and that hoyo genuinely wants to be very careful w it for good reason. but yeah artifact presets where still

secondly as much as the world is like, pretty and vast with many sceneries that make for a beautiful vignette to Look at and all kinds of trinkets to run towards and engage w for that quick dopamine release, i think the fact that the story and lore of the world is just so fucking inconsequential and terribly communicated makes it just. Incredibly hard to Feel anything for it. its like a cake with stunning decorations except u take a bite and realize its all just fondant and no actual flavor. its just there. i dont have any thoughts nor feelings for it bc the worldbuilding is such a failure that i care neither for this place nor the characters whose stories are supposed to be selling me on the entire game. and that really sucks bc this place really Does look stunning in places and i Wish they would give me something to care about but its just the backdrop for the (admittedly fun) pokemon echo farm and ur exploration progress and the combat system

character-wise i also just dont mesh with vast majority of them much. they dont stand out enough from one another and no one except for like scar has actually made me very intrigued about anything at all regarding the world. designs vary from ugh to fine with some that i do like but they still arent like . the kind of Instant recognizable design that just Hits. they look fine but they lack the (jenshin) impact that makes you want to forfeit ur mortal possessions to them

now there is One (1) exception to this to be fair and thats sanhua but thats Literally just bc she is so fucking gender envy to me design wise. like its almost perfect just like that. literally if only her top wasnt open in the back . Id wear that shit SO hard for My scifi fantasy waves that wuther self insert oh my god. she looks like a middle school OC id make JSJSKSKDKUSKDK i love herrr literally the only reason i continue playing tbh . And she has ice powers too she is literally made For Me 💀

(jen forbidden lore tldr a niche finnish Banger of a fantasy book series that rewired my brain at 10 had an Excellently written girl protag who among other things gained op draconic ice powers of eternal winter and since then that simply became My main character daydream self elemental power of choice Always hsjsjsjskvkd)

the combat i think is where wuwa stands out and it definitely lets u engage more with the enemies. like ultimate evasion and counters Feel satisfying and building up ur characters unique mechanic like sanhuas ice constructs for her powered up charge atk Feels satisfying i def think theres a lot of potential there but in terms of A Future Meta in a gacha that wants money idk where things would ultimarely go in the future. but ya that stuff is solid.

enemy designs are also cool but suffer from that same lack of context to make me intrigued w the world theyre a part of. like cool eldritch creature ig but it doesnt give heebie jeebies the same way as seeing like. the husks in the chasm for the first time. where u instantly go oh fuck How. Why. Who were they. bc u know there Will be a relevant answer . etc . which is a shame. make me fear for my life smh

anyway for me my pulls have been like ridiculously bad i am genuinely not joking that getting sanhua on my first starter banner multi is the only reason i stuck w it. like. prior to this morning and getting aalto from the 20 free pulls . i have not received a Single non f2p new 4*. i have chixia c3 who i do Not like. yangyang c2. baizhi c1. Literally i kid you not the other new 4* i pulled today was . Yuanwu. so like considering the event and log in thats also c1 yuanwu c1 sanhua (latter of which i obvi have no issue w). and then my starter 5* was the worst case scenario 💀 Walmart gaming i mean. if u think hes cute cool but i am not at All enthused. id have taken Anyone over him lmao

so thats fun . i mean its fine im not gonna play long term i like sanhua and playing her w baizhi and someone like yangyang or aalto its fine for what i intend to do w it for now. & none of the future 5* rly appeal to me either

ultimately the game definitely has potential but it just. released too soon in a shoddy state and in many ways (mostly relating to its open world) i think is too reliant on just resembling genshin without actually innovating on top of that foundation or distinguishing itself from it. and the failure of its story to make players care about its world At All doesnt help. Do i think the world and lore are shit w 0 potential? well obviously no bc its so poorly communicated i cant even fucking tell you what it is About. but any possible potential there was definitely not utilized how it should so eh

now personally i have absolutely no horse in this toxic drama clownfest of a gacha game war arms race other than its not worth the time nor effort. so i truly have no particular feelings of fervent support nor some schadenfreude about kuro and for competitions sake i Do hope they manage to salvage the situation and that wuwa manages to flourish in the end but ironically enough the genshin "killer" number two more or less seems to have went the way of the other one aka ToF. so thats something i suppose lmao

Like there is something very painfully ironic about it all and it is hysterical in that sense. at least that much i can admit hsiajsks. But truly if some ppl find that wuwa offers them sth better than genshin then good for em, dont let my highly lukewarm reception ruin ur enjoyment. just end the fucking drama farm and disingenuous claims to gas up ur own cope and hype

(and to be clear. i would Not have played like 8 hours yesterday if i wasnt genuinely engaged w trying the game out and having fun lol. its just very clear to me that this early rush of ADHD dopamine oh new game new things to burn through new exploration shinies short term quick fun is very likely all wuwa is going to have on offer for me personally)

anyway thats just me so feel free to share yalls thoughts too if ud like

[youremyheaven]

I found your blog when I was reaserching sufism since I’m leaning into it and the first thing I saw was your post about fated love which is so crazy because I’m pretty sure I’m on a “twin flame” journey!

Last year I saw a guy I met 7 years ago and that I hated at the time and I got triggered beyond measurement (I minimized it to the fact that I was jealous of his accomplishments) and my life has flipped upside down since then. I’ve healed so much of my trauma & went though a complete ego death and went out to find my callings.

The only thing is that he has been on my mind for a whole year in a fundamental way and I’ve even had crazy lucid dreams about him and i just feel so pathetic at times for spending so much thoughts on a stranger.

When i first prayed to god for answers is when I had my first dream of him the same night as some sort of answer but I’m still confused.

Sorry if this information overload but if you have my more knowledge and advice on the subject I would appreciate so much ❤️

finally a different kind of ask <3

i have been on a twin flame journey for several years now and this is probably going to be a controversial take because i havent heard anybody else express this sort of opinion in the twin flame community (99% of people in that community are absolutely delusional so i refrain from taking part in that sort of thing) i honestly think uniting on the physical plane is probably impossible for many twin flames and i also dont think theyre meant to?

a lot of people confused limerence with twin flame-ness. idk who needs to hear this but the random married person you're obsessed with isnt your twin flame.

in 2022 i met someone who i felt strangely pulled to. he reacted to seeing me like he was struck by lightning and i felt repulsed by him. in 2023, it became this cat and mouse, back and forth kind of thing where it seemed to build into mutual obsession but after interacting with him, i was completely put off by him and felt even disgusted by him but at the same time, i have changed so profoundly as a person from that first encounter and the second encounter that i really cant make sense of it. he instils a sense of desire in me and makes me want to change things and be better for myself yk? he's like the silent voice in my head ngl, everytime i think of doing anything, i have him in mind as my imaginary audience lol. its not in terms of whether or not he would approve but rather in terms of his presence?? feels comforting?? so its nice to have his energy in mind whenever im confronted by something new??

the trauma confrontation, ego death, finding your calling etc are all part of the journey

if you feel yourself slipping into obsessive thoughts, try to focus on prayer, or work or your hobbies because its unhealthy to dwell on such thoughts too much but some minuscule amount of feelings for that person (feelings that are very confusing because it cannot be easily defined) will always linger. i wish them well and hope for the best but right now all i can do is focus on what their energy is doing to me aka undoing my life and making me level up lol and each phase of this journey is unique like that.

in my case, i dont expect to ever unite with him physically. i just dont think its possible tbh but i have a very strong feeling that i will run into him again in a few years and that its part of the journey idk

my advice would be to focus on yourself and not on him but by focusing on yourself, you are healing yourself of what is keeping you in a state where you react negatively to them, ykwim?? dont expect to be with that person, the purpose of a twin flame is to teach you things and help your soul ascend to the next level. union cannot be orchestrated and sometimes god knows best that union is not meant to be in this lifetime. but that does not mean this experience isnt valuable. the experience is what it makes of you. and its vvv easyyy to romanticize a person you dont know very well, just trust that its for the best that youre not with them tbh

[quodekash]

THE EPISODE IS OUT AND IVE NOW WATCHED IT (and it took me two hours to get through as per usual) SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS TIME FOR MY COMMENTARY ON THE ENTIRE EPISODEEE (im sorry)

THEY WON HELL YES FINALLY

BUT IT WAS A DREAM

why? they like crushing our souls.

the scene of gun waking up and getting ready (having a shower, brushing his teeth) reflects the very first episode, where he had so much energy and he was preparing his speech for the juniors. And now he’s lost the biggest competition of his life so far, he’s sad, and honestly he’s lost - but not in the meaning that he didn’t win, he’s lost in the way that he doesn’t know where he is or where to go or what to do. and gmm is making me cry about the freaking passage of time which is so cliche like there are so many other things to make me cry about but instead you choose the thing that I’ve been having a mental breakdown / existential crisis over for the past three years? It feels like a personal attack tbh

THE TEACHER WAS SPEAKING IN THAI COS THEY ARE THAI PEOPLE AND THEN RANDOMLY SAID “oh man good job” IN ENGLISH AND IT WAS SO JARRING I LITERALLY FLINCHED

WIN DONT BE COLD TO YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FLIP

PORS TRYNA CHEER EVERYONE UP WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT THEM??

AND SOUND’S TRYNA GET YOU TO APOLOGISE COS YOU SAID BLOODY HURTFUL THINGS AND THEN YOU THROW YOUR ARM OUT OF HIS GRIP AND SAY “you won’t get us”, ESSENTIALLY IMPLYING THAT HE’S NOT ONE OF YOU AND HE’S NOT IMPORTANT??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR

AND SOUND DOESNT EVEN GO AFTER HIM

awhhhh poor Por alone in the music room by himself he needs a hug I would like to give him a hug please

Pat, I love you, I truly do, but shut up please. you’re gonna make Por freaking cry and that’ll make me cry and I’m already gonna cry enough from this episode

POR IS STANDING AT THE PIANO, HE SHOULD SING AND PLAY A SAD SONG BY HIMSELF TO LET HIS EMOTIONS OUT ON THE KEYS, TO FEEL HIS FEELS THROUGH MUSIC

BUT NO ALL HE DOES IS CRY

AND IT MAKES ME CRY

GOSHDARNNIT

“the doctor said I can go home next week!” “Don’t rush it mum. I can survive at home on my own. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” “I’m okay. But when will you get better?” THIS WOMAN ALWAYS SPEAKS THE TRUTH ONLY THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH AND I LOVE HER

“ever since I woke up, I’ve never seen you song. I usually had to tell you to quit singing.” “……..do you think dad would be disappointed in me?” “What about you? Were you disappointed in him for not being able to release his music? Listen. If we tried our best, there’s nothing to regret. I think your dad would think the same.” BRO HOW IS EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SO FREAKING QUOTABLE

AWW TINN SHOWING UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO VISIT GIM BUT HES JUST TOO LATE I LOVE HIM

OOOOO THEYRE GONNA DO THE PROM NIGHT PERFORMANCE THATS AWESOME

also side note prom night means dates means tinngun soundwin tiwpor I’m very excited

ITS FINALLY TIME FOR PHOTJANEES MENTAL BREAKDOWN OMG FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING

“do you think we raised him well enough?” YES OFC YOU DID WHAT THE FLIP /gen

“What mistakes do you think we’ve made along the way?” Every parent makes mistakes, man, that’s the way of life, it’s a learning experience for everyone involved. But what’s important is making sure you show your child that you love them and support them and care for them and shESDONE THAT mostly I think. all the things she’s done that could be considered bad or negative were her trying to do what she thought would be best for tinn’s happiness and well-being, even if it didn’t go down that way. You made mistakes, yeah. That’s what makes you freaking human, photjanee.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY TIWPOR PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND SOUNDWIN PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND TINNGUN PROBABLY

I was excited for this rehearsal, but win, stop it. “Just cancel this freaking band” seriously, stop. You’re being really cold right now and idk where it’s coming from but it has to stop please.

“I’m out” exCUSE ME???

THE BASS PLAYER CANT JUST QUIT

THE BASS IS THE FREAKING HEART OF THE MUSIC, THE SOUL

IF THERES BO BASS PLAYER THERES NO SOUL SO THERES NO MUSIC

okay sound is going after him it’s okay

and win was disappointed in himself so it make sense now. It’s not healthy to push your own insecurities and fears onto others to feel better, but it does explain his behaviour and hopefully he can find a better coping mechanism

EXCUSE ME WHEN THE F L I P WAS THIS ESTABLISHED??????

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW PLEASE

COULD SOMEONE PERHAPS INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION????

your boyfriend is being super self-hatey? Aggressively force him into a hug and let him let all his anger out while simultaneously letting him know both verbally and physically that you’re there for him and while you might not understand what he’s going through you will listen and do what you can to make him feel happy. I love these two.

its a tinngun scene next and you’ll never guess where they are

✨the freaking pool✨

AND WE GOT A SOUNDWIN SCENE, THEN A TINNGUN SCENE, THEN A TIWPOR SCENE, ALL IN QUICK SUCCESSION THIS IS AMAZING

JFJEJFHDHEHDB TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE

SIR--

AAAAAAAAAA

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYYY

✨oh shoot✨

por fell down the stairs and ✨broke his leg✨

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WISH REDEEMING THING THANK GOODNESS I WAS SO FREAKING CONFUSED

HOW IS HE SO FREAKING POSITIVE ALL THE TIME????

“But Tinn has got a really nice voice, ma’am” gun you’re being real sus she’s about to figure it out

photjanee keeps getting so close to finding out about tinngun and then something interrupts it and it happens every single time

BEACH TRIP PART 2 LETS GOOO

wait a sec they did a bad buddy. They went to the beach and then they went to the beach again. And the second time was in episode 11. why has that happened twice now.

BRO HES WEARING YELLOW

WIN RESERVED A SPOT FOR SOUND AGAIN AND THIS TIME SOUND IS ACTUALLY TAKING THE SPOT I LOVE THEMMMMM

so that fight was freaking intense, they were all having a go at each other, naturally it progressed to just Soundwin yelling but then surprisingly it turned into win and gun.

I rly liked that scene tho, all of them at the height of emotions and they all give really hard but sincere and heartfelt apologies to each other. And then they have a group hug. It’s so sweet, I love all of their group dynamics so freaking much

this man is neurodivergent and I love him with all my soul

tinn’s dad doesn’t have a name. tis character is nameless. but I love him.

NATURALLY TIW HAD TO EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS FJRJFHFH

TIWPOR ARE SO OBVIOUS

“Did I miss something?? What is happening?” Well, win, you see, you know how you and sound are in love? It’s the same situation with Tiw and por, but you numskulls have been too thick to see it somehow

TIWPOR ARE LITERALLY BOYFRIENDS I LOVE THEM

everyone just coping Soundwin left right and centre okay then

first tinngun with the medal kiss

now tiwpor with the sprinkle water

what’s next, yo and nook are gonna be tied up together? Pat and [insert imaginary character] are gonna have a lot of meaningful interactions in the bathroom?

oh also that song?? It made me cry man. I don’t care what anyone says, this show is a cinematic masterpiece.

the way they’re watching a video of them singing an encouraging song to encourage themselves?

the way they’re suddenly in the room watching??

THE WAY SOUND APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE???

THE WAY TINN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE????

THE WAY THEIR CURRENT SELVES ARE SUDDENLY SINGING TO THEMSELVES?????????

it gave me chills and it gave me tears

I literally can’t describe how much I love this show

the only thing that could’ve made that song better is if Tiw appeared out of nowhere

i CaN wAiT uNtiL yOuRe A uNi StUdEnT dude no one cares about the rule anymore, sound literally said he and win are boyfriends (WHICH BTW W H E N WAS THAT ESTABLISHED?????) just date now

“no matter how long, I’ll always wait for you right here” okay that’s super sweet and all but literally no one cares about the stupid rule just kiss already

yeah okay that explains it. I’d noticed how the only people to say “until they’ve WON hot wave” were that guy and Tinn and Tiw, but everyone else just said until after hot wave so yeah

“Be with me now and you’ll get to use the hashtag #MySchoolPresident” gotta love them subtle title drops lmao

and naturally there’s a cliffhanger on the photjanee plot line. great. like they needed to have something to keep us hooked even tho we're invested literally no matter what, the next episode is the freaking final episode, we're gonna watch it, dont worry gmmtv

MY MAIN TAKEAWAYS

last episode felt way too short but this one felt way too long

I’m still not sure if tiwpor were already secretly dating or if it’s just mutual crushes or if it’s something else BUT they’re going down the tiwpor route for which I am grateful because WE’RE NOT DELUSIONAL HAHA SUCKERS WE WERE RIGHT

WHEN THE FLIP FLAP TICTAC WAS IT ESTABLISHED THAT SOUNDWIN ARE BOYFRIENDS????? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN OFF SCREEN???? I HAVE Q U E S T I O N S

and we have one episode left of this goodnessforsaken show. We have had eleven episodes. We have had about 600 freaking minutes of this show. And Tinn and gun stILL HAVENT KISSED???????? WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON

[onlyjaeyun]

I sent you an ask about the Jay smau, idk if you got it, since tumblr just hasn't been sending some of my ask, I know you said you were gonna not answer one since it gave you ideas, which I know the one I sent started with something about us all sharing braincells and talked about the bff could sabotage y/n, and how Jay might respond and all once him and y/n are together. If you didn't get it, you could let me know and I'll try to resend it.

Also to reply to the other ask I sent you, I feel like NCTzens are either amazing to writers or so toxic. Like I once did an MTL that was an ask and it was who would like a thicc s/o and I put Taeyong like in the middle, and I got so much hate, someone spammed my inbox with like 40 messages saying Taeyong would never want a fatty, and they made like 10 fake accounts to comment on all of my NCT mtls to share their opinion, and I just had to delete most of my NCT MTLs and block like 20 accounts. They were so mad that I said Taeyong would probably want a an s/o that eats well, they felt the need to attack me so badly, I quit writing MTLS for NCT after that. Then I would have people in my asks complaining about me not doing them anymore, and it's just like I wonder why; you ask my opinion and then when I say Johnny would love a girl with a fat ass you attack me since it's not want you wanted me to say. I've been in a lot of fandoms, and I'm lucky most I've been don't go out of their way to attack you for a varying opinion or disliking something, but NCTzens it's just like where do you get the audacity.

I feel like they would probably think I'm some weird and be all ew p*d0 or something, but I'm just such a mom friend it's just like if you are younger than I and we are interacting, I now view you as my child nothing else; but it's just easier to avoid talking to them, since people always immediately assume the worst, which I don't blame them since there are so many weirdos on here. tbh it is, like I see no age anywhere or like even an age range, like just put 18+ or 21+, just let me know you are legal, otherwise I run the other way and hit that block button with such speed, it could rival Usain Bolt; since I just immediately assume minor that doesn't want you to know they are a minor. The same is for people who write smut about minors, when they themselves are not, even if they didn't know the age of the idol. Like I saw someone the other day that wrote Niki smut and someone messaged them saying 'he's a minor', they full on said "omg I had no idea, he looks like he's 20" and like this is why we can't have nice things, at least they deleted their stuff, but still immediate block.

the czennie fandom part: YES. i feel like czennies on here just overdo everything like calm tf down and if you dont like certain type of content just..dont read it? its honestly so sad bc they used to be my ults but i also had such bad experiences in that fandom it's heartbreaking. ive been so much more cautious and careful with what i post ever since and i feel like a lot of fellow former nct writers feel that way. its just so difficult to deal with it all bc you do it as a hobby and to kinda escape the real world and boom, hate and negativity everwhere. i'd never go back to writing for nct for that sole reason only. im so sorry you had to go through that baby, i know exactly how disheartening and demotivating that can be 💔

about the whole age thing: FULLHEARTEADLY AGREED. i think with a fandom this young its super difficult to find a good balance but im honestly glad most of us older engenes think that way and so far most younger ones have been super respectful (tho i did have to block a few minors bc they interacted with my nsfw content) i still feel a lot more comfortable than i did in other fandoms. the thing is, atp if a 05/06 liner happens to write smut about an idol the same age i just close both eyes and block them bc who am i to tell them what to do yk? yet not knowing an idols age you write for is kinda ???? nah, dont fw but deffo get your other points. also i lit felt the mom friend part so hard bc same (more like older sister friend) but im genuinely afraid creeping out younger engenes bc i dont wanna seem like im being a weirdo 😭

[dinodogs]

Hi!! so theres a lot of negativity going around lately and I really wanted to share my experiences as someone who essentially grew up as a furry, and attended a lot of cons in my youth.

I went to my first con at around 11, chaperoned by my mom and a friend. I went in a shitty home made fursuit that fell apart a year later, but I was sooo proud of it at the time. I think about that con experience a lot, I think its probably the best one I'd ever had. Despite me being very visibly young, I was treated with respect. I tried to stay out of the way and not be an annoying kid because I'd heard con horror stories. It was the first time in my life I felt truly welcomed by a community, I was allowed to participate in games and panels and it was such a wonderful experience. Around the time of the fursuit parade I had no idea what to do and was really anxious tbh. I couldn't bring my friend with me, she had been my rock through the few rough patches of the con, and I was kinda stranded not knowing what to go or what to do.

A group of older furries ended up coming over and volunteering to chaperone me through the parade. No, they were never asked to do this, they willingly volunteered and its still one of my all time favorite con memories. They took me through the parade and made sure I made it back to my mom and friend safely. I honestly think about them a lot, I dont know any of their names but I hope they're all doing well now.

That con was a huge turning point in my life, after spending a whole weekend hanging out with others and having fun and meeting people I got really into creating furry art and art in general. Not to get all corny, but the furry community is the only place growing up that I felt like I truly belonged and a large part of it was that con being so welcoming.

I didn't get the chance to go to many cons after that, that con is still the only out of state furry convention I've gone too, i went to some comic cons but I didn't get the chance to go to another furry con till I was 16 and a local con opened up. I had so, so much fun at that con too. I was a bit older and a bit more mature so I got to take part in the community even more, and despite being younger I was treated with the same respect I was when I was even younger. This time I went with my aunt and the same friend from before.

It was just as great of an experience, this time I even had a less awful fursuit, and theres sooo many stories I could tell from that weekend. The only bad experience was when an older adult invited my friend (also 16 but to be fair she looked 19) to an 18+ room party, after which we both got stickers that stated we were minors on our badges.

Its so incredibly important to have space kids can just be kids, where young furries can take part in the community and feel welcomed. I get it, kids can be annoying, and I get that some parents try and shove the responsibility of their kids onto others. Which sucks and I've actually had happen more then once, but just because some kids misbehave or some parents suck doesn't mean every child or every teenager deserves to be barred from a space thats supposed to be welcoming.

I get wanting to party and discuss adult things but yall have your spaces. Its what room parties and after darks are for. I get cons (especially on in vegas of all places) being 21+, I very much see the benefit of a lot of cons being adult only, but barring kids from the space just feels sad. yknow? Kids are humans too, kids deserve to have fun weekends and spend time with their friends and dress up as giant animals and hug and take pictures with their favourite fursuiters.

It just makes me sad to think i could've missed out on such an amazing experiences cause some adults dislike kids or can't handle being normal around them.

[maoam]

I know the twitter account who posted that tweet of naruto rivalries and tbh from most of their tweets i don't think they believe that sns is comparable to sakuino either (i remember they've stated it in some tweet as well) it just seems like a joke/light-hearted tweet to me

Tbh i dont think its fair to compare the views of twitter sns stans with tumblr sns stans' views since most sns stans on twitter have to be very very careful about what they do or say to ensure that they aren't subjected to the daily harassment sns shippers have to face from sasusaku shippers on there so i won't be surprised if half of them dont say what they actually believe in

Tweets like that are something which is appropriate for the current naruto twitter climate where its better to show how naruto and sasuke were one of the "accidentally gay rivalries" created by kishimoto so that they can enjoy talking about sns without being branded as "crazy conspiracy theorists fujoshi fetishizers" by the sasusaku freaks on there who always go apeshit crazy when anyone dares to say that kishimoto intentionally made them gay

Like im not even exaggerating twitter sasusakus are on a whole next level of disgusting and pathetic they keep calling sns shippers "incest/soul brothers shippers", make monthly tweet threads about how "sasuke and naruto are brothers" where they cite multiple interviews of kishimoto calling sns brothers, commonly send death threats and suicide bait sns shippers (i remember how one of them replied with a "instructions on how to hang yourself" image chart to a sns shipper during an argument), have asked a sns shipper with intrusive thoughts to end their life even AFTER they kept telling them to not do it, have made islamphobic comments n called muslim sns shippers terrorists, pretended to be poc and made fun of black sns shippers appearance, and all this is something that has happened in last THREE months alone

And don't even get me started on how they constantly police what sns shippers do or say and try their hardest to paint them as problematic, ss shippers on twitter keep reaching hard to act like every non mlm person who writes/consumes sexual content of sns is automatically fetishizing mlm, many of them believe that liking sns itself is fetishization of mlm, many if them attack sns fans when they even joke about sasuke and naruto liking each other more than their wives by accusing them of "pushing their cheating headcanons which is wrong", act like sns shippers who dislike sakura are automatically misogynistic etc etc

Alot of sns shippers accounts are constantly stalked and monitored by some or the other ss shipper bc there have been so many instances where some sns fan tweeted just some harmless negative OPINION about sakura or sasuke and their comments and quote tweets were filled with ss shippers harrassing them within less than an hour

Honestly, its pretty fucking hard and tiring to be a sns fan on twitter so im glad and surprised that there still are many sns fans there which is why i never bother correcting any sns fan who claims that kishimoto "accidentally" made sns gay or compare sns with mediocre ships like sakuino n kakaobi or display any other wrong opinion since i personally know MANY twitter sns fans who dislike sakura but pretend to like her just so they dont get harrassed by the rabid ss and sakura stans on there

Anyways, really sorry for this essay length ask I've been wanting to discuss the twitter sns and ss fandom with u for a long time and seemed like a good opportunity to do so

I see. I understand, I know twitter sasusaku shippers are absolutely crazy and gross. To be honest when I post about it I mostly want to make it clear what my own stance is. But honestly many sns shippers on tumblr say the same about "accidental gay" and also like sakuino. Actually I recently talked with someone who asked why do so many sns like that ship (and she is only on tumblr) since she dislikes it. There are also general shonen fans who claim this is something that happens often in shonen which is in my opinion a bad take.

It must be hard for ss shippers on twitter when everyone (including casuals) make fun of their ship and call Naruto and Sasuke gay. Not that I feel even slightly sorry for them, they are the worst ship fandom I've come across. Everything you said and my own experiences with them, they are just terrible. Also I have experienced ss on tumblr too who have claimed to be "bi" or "part of the lgbtq+" before only for them to end up doing or saying something homophobic afterwards that didn't even have to do with them hating sns. So I never believe them when they claim to be something. I once got an anon telling me to not generalize ss but how can I not when their fandom is terrorizing people constantly? They are a mob.

Also Sakura is embarrassing, these twitter anime feminists need to get real and stop acting like hating Sakura is some conspiracy. It's what to be expected.

Anyway if you want to talk more you can send another ask.

[antoniokroos]

Tbh I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with ‘hating a team for no reason’ cause that’s how sports work? You don’t really need a Valid™️ reason to support or not to support a team. Of course it becomes problematic when you’re being an asshole to its supporters, or when you send death threats to players and the like. I personally haven’t seen that that much around here, but I might just be following the right people I guess

I agree with you.

Actually i may have explained myself wrong (or not explained enough).

The regular sport rivalry is totally normal, it has always been there and will always be there. It's actually the salt of sports. We're all part of it, we all have a one or several teams (and their players) that we dislike and of course we'll all regularly shittalk about them when facing them or when chasing the same aim. I have no problem with that. watch me wishing for bayerns death every season

What i cannot bear anymore is the general hating atmosphere which tumblr has turned into since the recent years. I dont know how long you've been on here, but trust me, back in the early days and for a long time; around 2012-2018, it was a pleasure to be on this website and support whatever team on earth you wanted to support (and this despite the regular rivalry!!) ! It was amazing and everyone was free and happy.

Until post 2018 and the Cancel Culture arrived. That added to the increasing number of football blogs of course, tumblr started to become like twitter ; full of negativity and hate.

I actually left the website around late 2019 (for other reasons) and i came back last month for the Euros... Only to see that the suffocating atmosphere had reached a whole new level.

Now you simply can't love whoever you want. As soon as you show appreciation for a player who may have put one (1) feet out of line you automatically get an anon message. Is that freaking normal ?

Is it normal that Portugal NT fans and England NT fans have to "hide" their love for their team ? And that's just an example amongst many.

Is it normal people on here put more energy on posting the nastiest hate post about x or y player instead of supporting their own team or spreading positivity ? (and please the things they write goes way beyond sport "rivalry")

No wonder why almost all the early blogs have left one by one...

I have friends who left because of this. I have other friends who connect rarely because of this. I know hurt and hidden bloggers because of this.

Man, i'm sorry for all this which you didn't even asked for, but i felt like saying it because it kinda lightens the reasons why i talked about hate "for no reason". And it also weighs a lot on my heart because tumblr used to be my escape and my safe place for 7 years, and i have to accept that all of it is gone...

I cannot take the violence of the cancel culture and the dictature of an imposed one-way-thinking that seems to rule tumblr now. I'm way too sensitive to handle a constant fear or to witness player i know being treated like shit for no reason other than a majority domination.

I'm glad for you if you follow the right people as you said and have a nice tumblr experience. I'm really glad.

But that's not the case anymore for a lot.

[smnthwrd]

⚠️This is your warning, if youre going to cry about negativity on the timeline then don't read this⚠️

Hard truth: I didn't love cal :/

Before we continue, I'm going to say this first and foremost because i don't want to say it a thousand times while i write this and distract from what I'm actually saying: i know that cals journey mirrors a lot of watchers experiences, and i don't want to invalidate that at all. If you loved cal and related to them that's really great, and regardless of my own opinion, you deserve that experience and im glad you got it. I've also read a lot about Dua Saleh and the making of cals character, and i KNOW that they had a nonbinary consultant and they asked Dua about their feelings and experiences and all of that, and i appreciate that, and I'm glad Dua and Robyn both had good experiences on the set. But at the end of the day, media is there for us to consume and discuss, and this is just how I felt about their characters as a watcher. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's experience. Now onto the post)

I didn't dislike Cal, i just...didn't really love them either. i dont know. I was so so hype to have a nb character, but the acting/writing just wasn't there for me? I really like Dua Saleh, but i dont think theyre the best actor tbh. I feel like the dialogue was just really awkward and unnatural at times, yk?

I just feel like they really wrote the most stereotypical NBs that they could and just called it good. Like I'm GLAD for the representation, i am. It's just, so many trans/NB characters in the media these days seem to be the same "walking encyclopedia" type who always regurgitate the same facts and phrases and have similar or the same experiences. To me, personally, it just seemed like the writers read some articles and FAQs about the NB experience and pasted it into the script. I mean sure, some people talk like that, and some people experience that, but also...in real life i think a lot of those conversations happen more naturally, and don't go quite so by-the-book, ya know? And like considering sex education has been really good about having honest, real, sometimes very gritty convos regarding sex in the past, that dialogue kind of stuck out like a sore thumb to me, seeming very scripted and everything.

And idk this feel nitpicky considering we don't have a lot of representation to choose from anyways, but it's like, Cal and Layla were both that very well-known androgynous type of NB, ya know? Which is cool and everything, bc that's how some NBs experience their relationship with gender, but it's like, not every NB person wants to be androgynous? And not every NB with a chest wants to bind it? Idk i guess i expected differently because sex education is all about being different and ~fresh~, i was kind of surprised when both of the nonbinary characters this season were AFAB and had similar experiences. Tbh it was kind of giving "views NBs as women-lite" type thing. I don't know i just don't think it gave everything it could, ya know? There are so many diverse and unique NB experiences and we only saw one pretty generalized kind of experience in cal and layla.

So that, paired with the fact that i really don't think Duas acting was on par with the rest of the cast, (and honestly took me out of the moment with how "acted" some of their scenes felt,) enjoying cals character to fullest extent was hard for me. Don't get me wrong i DID still enjoy seeing a nonbinary poc character onscreen! I was really glad to see that experience depicted on a popular show, and even with all of these feelings i wouldn't change it for the world. But at the same time, their character also just really fell short for me :/

I don't know, i know a lot of people won't agree with me on this but at the end of the day it's only my opinion and i just wanted to say it because I've been thinking about it since i watched s3. I enjoyed seeing Cal, and i enjoyed their friendship with Jackson (most of the time) but i feel like they could have done more and better :/

[oexen]

Everything that just happened only further highlighted when I kind of spoke about how intense the Arcana fanbase can be.

Fictif is so chill. ^>w<^ I don't want to go back to the callout posts, toxic discourse and controversies.

No hate though, seriously. The Arcana fandom has many wonderful people and content, but it got pretty tiring because of the fanbase.

I just want to relax and share my love of an otome game with others that share same interest and have fun civilised discussions with others about why we love the characters and stories that we do, but that is too much to ask for within the Arcana fandom.

I still play the game and enjoy making content for it, but I'm keeping most of that private now and steadily distancing myself from the community to let myself breathe.

ok bud like no shade to u, do as u like! im not sure who u are tho lol soz 🧠

personally i havent been around as long as a lot of other people in the fandom and seeing the faction i fell into get baselessly shat on in multiple instances…. not super cool or fun to me, but i also dont just sit here waiting to get into fights or posting about entitlement on the “other side” of the fandom either yanno. i’m offline a lot but having something inspiring to make content for and play in an idea sandbox has been cool

i never really participated much in any fandom before but i’m enjoying my time here and doing my best to stay in my own damn lane lmao

im also not typically terribly bothered by people fabricating things and actually making mountains out of molehills, in reference esp to tone policing people asking for certain content and similar, to be clear, not critiques of how identities and other aspects of the game should be treated better. if it’s something small and is just gonna be about someone mad about something inconsequential like (xyz is annoying) and negging peers and other fans (ie, strangers) over something that isn’t otherwise harmful, i’d rather not waste my time stewing over it.

i know next to nothing about fictif, but from what little i have seen, it’s not particularly enticing to me at all, at least right now. i don’t pick up games and stay interested like i have for the arcana very often. i’m very fond of the arcana and its characters and think it’s tastie conceptually, and i’ve also interacted with some really great people in the fandom who have become very important to me, so im good hanging here tbh. not everyone can get along super well, but we can at least try to be kind and polite in general lol

i think probably in any fandom there will be folks somewhere that build strawmen and try to blast others for no reason, and if you don’t see or don’t want to see it, great, you absolutely don’t have to. ig my point is i don’t like to let others dictate how my time passes or how my experience is in this way over the internet, and to me it’s not fulfilling to agonize over smaller non harmful things, and i’d rather make things that make me happy even if i’m not really interacting with anyone, tho bonding w people who snack upon my own content is def a nice bonus

i’m also not really on other social media either, and while that’s for unrelated reasons, it might help lol

sorry if ur op and i come off mean, that’s not my intent; i’ve seen a couple other posts before w similar issues, buried now and blocked lol. courtier stan negging is not an isolated incident unfortunately, but i hope it doesnt ramp up

[becomingthedreamversionofme]

rant - trigger warning

so i know i usaully dont rant on here or post anything negative but i just need to cause im going through a shitty time and i literally do not have any friends to confide in.

*trigger warning: mention of death depression lonliness suicidality anger issues heartbreak* 

alright so i feel my life is just one big chain of bad decisions i stand here in a unknown all girls boarding school in the last remaining days of my schooling days with the whole batch hating me and everyone else thinking im weird, no one talks to me, no one listens no one helps and most of all the comments, the bitching and gossiping, its getting to me a person can only handle so much.ive tried everything, not caring- caring and trying to better, being myself, focusing on studying, escaping, being a loner. nothing fucking seems to work. i cannot tolrate this anymore. the pressure of getting into a good college or any college at all is so exhausting i dont even think about it

when i started this account last year, i was a few months into the lockdown, having the time of my life, happiest id ever been.living for the first time in 17 years and feeling ALIVE. i eliminated all negativity, recovered from depressed extremly severe anxiety, sucidiality, self harm. confronted my smoking addiction and whatnot. i started paying attention in school and getting grades, for once knowing what i want to do in life and actaully having a passion for stusying. i let go of all toxic people in my life and got close with my family. for the first time ever we were actaully like a happy family. i also started talking to my sister more the backstory is complicated as hell but im happy shes just in my life tbh

now i just dont know. coming here was such a huge cultural shock, things have been so different. i didnt know why everyone hated me at the start or even if they did but i wish i could change things, i wish the things i did could be undone. i trusted the wrong people too many times and it seems i dont learn from experience quick enough. i feel so fucking dumb 

its all so different. i just want things to be over. i cannot stay here anymore. its taking all out of me, i seem to be going through a burnout or mental fatigue of some sort.i have 2 exams left and i will pass but i know it wont be good enough for college. 

honestly after the disapointment i faced here going to college was my only hope and now im wondering if i will get into one at all.

i have 2 friends from my old school but they got a life of thier own and it just seems theyre too tired of my constant ranting and sadness.its the same with my online friends- the ones remaining anyway. 

after losing someone i was very attatched to, to sucide - after 5 fucking years- i wa sfinally happy but now ive just seem to lost it all and back to where i started. in a worse situation to be honest.

my boyfriend seems to be a shitty person using me which is ironical cause i didnt intend to care so much at first but its not in my nature to be able to use and throw or even lie.i cannot pretend, i cannot mask, i am my most authentic self and it seems now my naive nature should be apoligized for 

im just hanging on for my past and future self.

[ionlylikepickleswhentheyrefried]

some interesting (tbh sad) side effects of being a twin:

it is very very common for twins to have individuality complexes, that is feeling the need to establish themselves as an individual and kind of obsessing over it. being an identical twin surprisingly has a lot of negative impact on mental health in my experience.

put aside my relationship with my sister. we are best friends and i love her with all my heart. it’s factors external from us that cause this negative impact.

my entire life, people haven’t been able to tell us apart (my immediate family can, so i’m lucky). this doesn’t seem like the biggest deal, but this causes two things to happen constantly: comparison and grouping us together.

comparison between my sister and i has hurt me many times in my life. for some reason, people think they can say anything to us. when people meet us (or any time we see someone we know who can’t tell us apart, really) in an attempt to tell us apart, they ask What’s the difference. the thing is WE DONT KNOW. we just don’t think we look that alike! we don’t have a cheat code to help you tell us apart. but this causes people to immediately start listing the differences between us. i’ve been told i have a fatter face MANY times, people have pointed out acne MANY times, people have told us that one is prettier, one is fatter, one has a bigger nose, one has squintier eyes, one has dark circles under their eyes, one has a pointy chin, one’s funnier, one’s nicer, one’s smarter. you name it. this constant comparison makes my heart drop every time. it’s like, you would never compare two people like that in any other circumstance because ITS HURTFUL. i don’t exist for people to just pick apart like that. and this can be something that happens MANY times a day, especially at a family event or in a big group.

the next thing is grouping. people group everything we do into the actions of one person. it makes it feel like people just don’t care about me as an individual. and to be honest, a lot of the time they don’t. people always say “you’re basically the same person” or that they just don’t care to tell us apart. it hurts me, because they just don’t care about me as a person, they only see me as some sort of cool anomaly.

people almost never can tell us apart, so they never know what name to call us. this causes people to either call us “X or Y” or just a mix of both names, OR, the most common one, just not calling us by any name. i didn’t even notice it until i was older, but outside of my house i am almost NEVER called by my name. can you imagine how depersonalizing that can feel? i have certain friends who can tell us apart who took years to be able to. at least they tried though!!! they’re my friends because they cared enough to try. they all said they could just tell after a while just by getting to know us.

i have a few friends who have been able to tell us apart since they met us. nothing has ever been so touching to me. i had this one moment when someone called me by my name, just casually, like anyone else’s, and it honestly made me happier than anything else in the world. i could cry at the idea of it. how strange it must seem to be so touched by someone knowing your name.

so yeah, these are things that have affected me my whole life. being a twin is very special, but people honestly make it a struggle.

tldr: being a twin causes identity issues and depersonalization

[zuzuslastbraincell]

Katara!

KATARA KATARA KATARA

why I like them

oh god where do i even start. katara just contains so many multitudes - she's sweet and feminine and caring and attentive but she's never reduced to just that, she's never just 'the girl', she's also allowed to get mad, to be petty, to laugh at her brother, to be headstrong and stubborn, to express vulnerability, to cry and to laugh, to make ridiculous facial expressions and *be* very expressive. she's dealing with a lot of trauma not simply from the loss of her mother but that loss represents also how her tribe have been decimated by the fire nation, how she's the last waterbender, how all this pressure exists on her shoulders (but also pride, but also determination, to bring it back) and that is expressed subtly throughout the series with the same depth and love that male characters are afforded with regard to their respective traumatic experiences. and despite all this she never tries to stop making the world good? She's always pushing for change, she's always wanting to make things better, she's relentless and doesn't give up when it comes to her vision for a better world... she has such a big heart. and that coexists with a deep anger in her, and deep hurt. Not to make an ocean metaphor so early on but she's as deadly and deep as the ocean but she chooses to be kind and warm and that's so powerful.

why i don't

honnestly while katara's instincts to mother people are a sad symptom of how she was forced to grow up to soon and automaically asigns herself a role of emotional responsibility she has mixed feelings about, i know that if katara tried to mother me, i would be annoyed. but that sounds more like a me problem.

favourite episode

oh it's either the episode where she beats the fucking shit out of pakku or it's the southern raiders. the first one because it's so gratifying to see how she's grown and developed as a bender and really come into her own. the second because... god i love how *messy* the southern raiders is, and it really taps into what i love about katara - she's flawed, she runs off on an ill-thought out revenge mission with zuko, she's got a great capability for darkness as she quite seriously considers murdering a man she has every right to loathe and to kill - but she chooses against it, in the end. it would not be right for her, if not him. she chooses what's right for her in the end.

favourite season

I'm gonna be a wee bit controversial and say book 1 had the best conception of katara's arc from student to master and really saw her grow and flourish, from someone yelling at her brother' oafish prejudice to a real master, that really solidified her as an idealist and presented that as the strength that is, that showed her struggling with petty jealousy of aang's progress and had her stumble in ways that made her character comeplling and interesting - like what an introduction to her character! book 2 had some fantastic moments but i can't think of anything particularly remarkable about hee character arc - largely because it tied into aang's romantic arc i think at this point. book 3 had some absolutely fantastic moments (scam queens katara and toph!! painted lady!! southern raiders!! the final agni kai) that really shone but also book 3 lays a lot of groundwork for fanon i hate (e.g. katara as the mom friend - wish that headcanon would die tbh)

favourite line

fuck there's a lot of good ones but my underrated fave is when sokka says he's kissed a girl before but she's never met her and katara says 'Who? Gran-gran? I've met gran-gran' and it's bruuutaaall

but my favourite serious line is 'I will never ever give up on people who need me'. powerful.

favourite outfit

water tribe anything!! and i actually think her book one/book two braids are her best hair. underrated katara hair. personally she looks just adorable in her parka in the flashback to when she was like. eight.

OTP

katara/personal fulfilment

katara/happiness

katara/fulfilling her goals and dreams

katara/loving minor background character who is never named

there's some ships i like in AU situations - yuetara is actually one i lov, especially with waterbender yue, i just love the whole sea/moon thing as well as katara and yue rebelling in loud/quiet ways, being girlfriends who refuse to have their lives defined by the expectations of older men, who have a great sense of duty towards their nations and won’t let gendered expectations stop them.

and most of you know i like the messy drama of katara/azula in a lighter AU situation where they're like, school or academic rivals, and the legacy of imperialism isn’t quite so personal (and azula makes better choices, obviously), but it’s not as much as i “ship” them as i just find the potential dynamic interesting, they’re both driven by a sense of duty for their home, it’s just that means *very* different things depending if you’re SWT or FN.

none of them are OTPs though - they’re more just fun thought experiments

brotp

katara & sokka - absolutely love their sibling dynamic its amazing. both have been impacted negatively by the shit in their lives and are not always dealing with it in functional ways but theyre there for each other, through thick and thin, always have each other's backs, they roast each other and bicker and sometimes make stupid decisions and sometimes lash out but at the end of the day their love pulls through, they’re able to work past those conflicts.

katara & aang - honestly while i feel kataang was just so poorly executed in the show (listen guys I just can’t after ember island players, i know that was a bad episode, but i can’t) & i cant imagine katara wanting to leave the south pole after the war for long spells (it would have to be long distance love, lots of profound and heartfelt letters and occasional visits, if anything, but i dont know if that’s what katara wants or needs? so maybe it wouldn’t pan out?), but regardless, i really do think these two had a life-changing friendship where each really represented hope for each other, that's at the core of it, they both truly believe in each other, and inspired each other. katara & aang good.

a headcanon

chief katara anyone?? chief katara?!?! 

oh oh OH i also think that katara, while primarily a combat bender during the war, actually takes to healing a lot more after the show and gets proper healing training at some point with the help of a trained medical expert and maybe yugoda. tbh i feel like the show was a bit dismissive of healing as an ability - i feel like having that is *extremely* useful in any combat situation, you always have a medic on hand - but i understand why katara, who wanted to be recognised as powerful regardless of her gender, and wanted to hold herself in a fight alongside sokka & aang, pushed for combat waterbending training because that is what 'powerful' looks like to her in the moment. obviously katara is capable of incredible healing feats (see: saving aang) but i think given we see her as a healer in lok (not a decision i necessarily disagree with) would mean a shift in focus. i think katara actually comes to realise she likes healing a great deal, but really she excels in all aspects of waterbending and is the south’s most respected master who helped rejuvenate southern style waterbending  

unpopular opinion

the main reason people think katara is straight is because we see her have very few meaningful interactions with other girls outside of toph. ATLA as a show is a bit romance obsessed, and very heteronormative in that regard, and so interactions with minor characters almost always line up with a potential crush for sokka or katara, and later, zuko (suki, haru, jet, yue, song, jin....). we rarely see katara build friendships with other girls and it’s such a damn shame.

(anyway bi katara for life)

a wish

the version of the puppetmaster we saw was actually fire nation propaganda, i feel like katara would have felt deep compassion for a prisoner of war and after maybe some clashes, would have agreed to help smuggle her out of the fire nation and secure passage home for hama, and tried to assure her that she still has a place there. the treatment of hama in that episode was awful (but also hama was written to be almost cartoonishly evil, very much an evil witch in her cottage in the spooky woods? like the whole horror movie / spooky story opening was such a big tell) and tbh i reject the thesis that we saw ‘katara’s dark potential’ in that episode completely, or that bloodbending as a power is inherently dark, or katara’s use of it to stop hama ‘corrupted’ her. I feel like katara might feel this way as a teenager perhaps but with time (she can be a little black and white at times), and especially with more training as a healer, i think she might realise that’s not the case, she’ll realise that she was right to try and oppose hama, her elder (she was lashing out rather than really trying to oppose the fire nation), and it wasn’t a betrayal of her or her beliefs, but also her use of bloodbending wasn’t wrong or evil inherently at all? and maybe she’d find ways to use it for healing purposes? anyway my wish is that, i like the idea that they meet again, speak about their differences, reconcile a little / come to an understanding, and katara learns more from hama again

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen

anything where katara’s character is reduced to a comforter or a healing device for a man and his trauma. particularly zuko. (they don’t have that dynamic in canon thankfully, zuko would never, zuko respects her too much)

5 words to describe them:

idealistic, hard-working, powerful, headstrong, kind

my nickname for them:

chief. or comrade. :^)

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[normal-thoughts-official]

ok not to be That Magnus Stan but seeing your last ask... how do you think adhd/sensory issues might intersect with kink for Magnus? (You don't have to answer jkjljljljkllljlk)

i mean pls be That Magnus Stan tbh, and id be more than happy to answer it 👀👀👀

also the ask you’re referring to is no longer my last ask because it took me a while to finish this up, but anyway

ok so there's plenty of things that apply the same way to the both of them - like hyperfixating on their characters when planning roleplay, definitely the whole thing about how domspace (well, subspace for magnus, but u get it) feels a bit like hyperfocus? like his senses are just honed in and particularly for an adhd person that's just great news. like usually his head is all over the place but when he's in subspace he gets that quiet and he's just focusing on his own pleasure and everything else quiets down for a bit

in that sense i feel like it's the opposite of what anon said about being overwhelmed, like, i feel like the enhanced sensations are good for magnus because again adhd = brain desperately looking for stimuli at all times, so when he's engaging in like, orgasm delay/denial, gangbang and the like, he has a clear thing to focus on, sometimes even more than he can really process, and that kind of satisfies his brain?

udhdudndid that sounds stupid but i hope you understand what i mean, like, of course sensory issues could become bad and he might need to safeword but when he's in the proper headspace and he just allows himself to be washed over by the pleasure and let go, it feels like finally his mind is clear. i don't know if i have adhd, but it definitely feels that way for me. also, he might actually need the overstimulation in order to focus and feel pleasure, sometimes. like anything less he just.... wanders away jdhdudjdi i also feel that way

also, warning again just in case! im not saying "wow ppl with adhd are subs". im just conjecturing about how a person who happens to have adhd and be into subbing (and like, specifically the kind of adhd and kinks i hc for magnus) would feel in regards to how those things overlap and change their experience with their pleasure. or well, magnus specifically, not just any person with adhd. but anyway

also that thing i said about following orders and just letting go, like- usually his mind is going a mile a minute, and as a political leader and someone who's been on his own most of his life etc he just worries all the time. how to present, gesticulate, speak, what to say, what to do, he's always hyperaware of his own movements (because he has to) and worrying about others and their pleasure and comfort and shit, so to get to just lie back, not move - be unable to move, even - follow orders and be a good boy? that's some A+ shit right there

you know? he doesnt have to be anxious about anything or try to keep his thoughts and movements in check and guess ppl's reactions or even worry if he's just following orders - orders he knows he'll enjoy, that he's agreed to, planned for, with someone that he trusts - and feeling the pleasure that comes from that. a huge part of his usual thoughts is finally muted and that helps him feel relaxed and mellow and get into subspace. which again, he craves, because usually adhd brain is just aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so subspace is a very welcome and even needed break

even from a neurological standpoint, like... adhd is basically lack of norepinephrine in the brain, and orgasms, especially intense ones, release a lot of that, but I'll try not to nerd out too hard here. tho i might have to go back to that in a minute

isnt it performance art that i had a genius thought that i loved and halfway through finishing the last sentence i just forgot it

oh yeah! thinking specifically about rsd and how this comes into play for someone who's into humiliation kink. there are several psychological analyses that postulate that one of the things attractive about bdsm is that it allows you to explore fears and generally bad situations in a controlled environment. kinda like reading fiction or doing extreme sports. so in that sense bdsm is attractive because it allows you to act on those fears and turn them into something 1- safe, 2- under their control, instead of the other way around, and 3- pleasurable

and like... dont get me wrong it's not that magnus is into being told "ur ugly and no one loves you" or something lmao but in a way humiliation kink is enacting a fantasy of rejection/belittling, except turned inside out? like "you're my good little fucktoy, you were made to be fucked like this, you slut" is degrading and belittling and on the verge of calling someone worthless... except positive. because that's what makes them so great to fuck? so in a way this kind of play flips the tables on many concepts because being a "slut" or a "toy" feels like a compliment. and in this process of degradation you are taking the fear of being worthless and making a scenario where that being true is exactly what makes the person worthwhile

idk i might be reaching a bit here cuz i think im into humiliation that's way more hardcore than i think magnus would be like i straight up enjoy being called worthless lmao but i feel like that makes sense, the way that humiliation/degradation play takes your fear of rejection or shortcoming and is like "but if that were true.... that would make you good" like o shit can't argue with that

and again like.... obviously that's all a very careful line as you're dealing with some sensitive stuff, which is why doms need to go through training to be able to deal with the physical and mental implications of what they're doing. and none of this is conscious of course, i don't think magnus is out there thinking this through deeply or anything, im just saying it's a part of what makes bdsm subconsciously appealing to some ppl. but my point is, rsd might play a part in why magnus is into that mix of praise and humiliation. like i think he needs the praise for reassurance even during play, which alec is more than happy to provide ("you're so beautiful, look at you, so perfect like this, i love you,"), and that kind of play where rejection, praise, and pleasure are all kind of one and the same is appealing because it just makes it all the more overwhelming without actually being negative and your mind is just lost in the almost contradictory stimuli but the pleasure and the positive wins out and you just feel so relaxed and good? yeah

but there's also like, the way that impacts the negative possible outcomes of bdsm. namely, rsd and subdrop

rsd is kind of obvious so i'll try to be brief: it's a sensitive issue and if he's not in the proper headspace for it, it can have the opposite effect and go very wrong very fast, because his reaction to rejection is hyperamplified by it. so if it has the opposite of the desired effect - rejection overpowering praise and pleasure - it might go south so fast he doesnt have the time to yellow. like he can't prevent it before it happens, you know? which is also why i think he wouldn't go Super Deep into humiliation and why the mix with praise is key - which is another way in which they are compatible because alec sure does love praising him

as for subdrop: if you don't know what that is, basically BDSM play is very intense and releases a fuckton of endorphins all at once very fast, so, sometimes, the sub doesn't come down from their orgasm as much as falls facefirst back to earth. meaning, their brain empties itself of endorphins, which leaves them feeling hollow and depressed, sometimes also moody, hypersensitive/prone to crying, fatigued, and just generally bad

which is one of the many reasons aftercare is important! and also proper dom training! with proper aftercare, you can prevent that drop from happening, by keeping the sub feeling positively. reassurance, touch, and other forms to bring physical and/or psychological relief and/or pleasure helps keep their brain from just crashing once the rush of endorphins is over, so it lasts a little longer and they can come down from the high gently. work those neurotransmitters yall! keep them up and running!

so anyway i feel like subdrop is not only a bigger deal for ppl with adhd (because adhd is already a lack of neurotransmitters so fucking up your balance even further is Very Bad), but also more likely to happen if you're not careful, because the "regular" adhd brain already has a lack of neurotransmitters, which keep those endorphins running. so adhd ppl might "run out" of them even easier

NOTE: i'm not affirming that, this is a shot in the dark. i have no data or research to back that up and im nowhere near an expert in neuroscience, i just know the basics. so don't take this part too seriously and definitely don't quote me on it

but anyWAY yeah. my point is, subdrop can be a problem so it’s something that he tries to be prepared for, have some snacks before and after, do proper aftercare, etc. like i said, it’s mostly preventable, although sometimes stuff like this happens even if you do your best. but anyway

and there’s another thing too, which is that one possible sympton of subdrop is feeling rejected and alone. which is super fun when you have rsd! so yeah. subdrop can be very bad for magnus. and like, don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying it happens every time or super frequently or something, but it IS something he has to watch out for possibly more than others haha man thinking about how camille didn’t care about this at ALL. he knows it can be bad, but he’s also learnt how to prevent it for him, and as the healthy bastards that they are, magnus and alec talk about that in length. during alec’s Research™ he comes across that concept and he brings it up with magnus and makes sure that he knows everything there is to know about how and when magnus experiences subdrop and how to deal with that. he also makes magnus promise to let him know if he ever has it, because alec WILL drop everything to go and give him extra care. and it’s sweet

on a better note! BDSM has been shown to be associated with lower levels of rejection sensitivity among practitioners. so that’s nice? like obviously magnus won’t find the cure for his rsd with BDSM or anything, but i like the idea of magnus opening his eyes one day and realizing that hey, ever since alec and i have been doing play more often, i’ve been feeling a little less affected by rejection?

also like, BDSM as a whole helps enhance trust and communication in a relationship (obviously it needs to already be there for the BDSM activities to take place and like please everyone everything i’m saying here is on people who enjoy it. how you perceive these actions is heavily influenced by whether or not you enjoyed them so i’m not saying that BDSM is great for everyone, i’m saying that it’s great for people who are into it. so don’t go thinking BDSM will do your relationship good or something, k? k) for obvious reasons, so that also helps magnus feel more secure you know. so that’s a positive way that these things interact too 

and okay, i think that’s all i have? not that this isn’t gigantic but like you know. i don’t know how to end this other than uh i had fun answering that ask! also, again, i’m not a psychologist or a neuroscientist and there is actually pretty little research on the psychological effects of BDSM as most of the discussion seems to be centered on “is kink a disease?” due to stigmatization, so like, please, i’m doing this for fun, alright? i tried to make it as accurate as possible and also i get Into It and dive deep into research sometimes so while this is a somewhat educated guess, don’t take everything i say here as face value

in short, thanks for asking!