#begging people to think for 2 seconds about what racism actually is

[youngpettyqueen]

every day im forced to see posts where people say that Bones is racist towards Spock and they clearly think its a hot take. when will we as a society move on from this. its been years. im tired.

[doctorofmagic]

I know this wasn't the point of the Wanda post but I feel like this should be said: Introducing things from the movies into the comics is not always a bad thing like how Blade wasn't half vampire until after the film trilogy and everything that happened with comic 616 Nick Fury. But I could be wrong and those are actually terrible examples.

I agree with you! I don't think adaptations and new concepts are bad, but it really depends on every circumstance.

Cloud!Galactus will forever haunt the second FF movie. Let alone that *points at Victor von Doom as a whole*

On the other hand, some concepts are super welcome, like what they did with the Eternals, making most of their personalities waaaay more interesting (I suppose my only exception is Sersi. Comics!Sersi is/was so full of sass and I missed that. But Ikaris? Makkari? Druig? *chef's kiss*)

Nick Fury, imo, is a very unique concept because he only exists thanks to the Ultimates artist who used Samuel L. Jackson for his design. The actor saw that and wanted to be part of the MCU, which turned him into a very popular character, leading Ult!Fury to the 616, while 616!Fury is currently *whatever happened to him in Slott's FF run idrc* (correct me if I'm wrong on this, I read that info a long time ago)

Oh, and I can't say much about Blade because I'm just starting to read his chronology. But I think it's cool that he's a daywalker, as far as I know.

In short, it's okay if the movies introduce something cool to the character.

But back to Wanda... (and I know you didn't mention her, this is just me ranting, so please feel free to ignore that part, I'm just seizing this opportunity)

Nothing about her MCU characterization added good things to her comic book version. She was whitewashed, worked for Hydra, had a terrible storyline about grief and mental health (tipically stereotyped and twice as problematic since she's a woman) and finally had the "woman goes crazy with power" trope. She was never able to control her powers (as seen in Civil War) and let her emotions warp reality to fit her fantasies while being manipulated by both people and her own emotions (again, women are often called overly emotional, and I'm not excusing Bendis here because he did the same in comics). She became a villain during HoM and the times she was possessed by Chthon, but she was never meant to be *THAT* scary and evil. There's altruism in her essence (this is why the narrative of killing a teenager is just so off to me).

Wanda is a brown romani woman who was often persecuted due to her ethnicity, religion and skin color, as well as her mutant genes. And yes, the many reboots that tried to erase her identity. Even in modern day, she still has to deal with ill-intended writers who ignored the implications of her character as a hero of color and the double effort she has to perform in order to be accepted as an Avenger, (former) mutant and overall hero. Not only that, the fans have to BEG to artists to make sure she isn't whitewashed, while 0ls3n stans will mock and diminish those who ask for representation.

This is why it's so problematic for Wanda to be like that. Her entire characterization is made to please a toxic fanbase and use her as a symbol to promote their racism (as seen on my previous post).

In short, they don't like Wanda. They just idolize 0ls3n because she's white and plays a derranged woman filled with power. And that's kinda enough for them.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my fair share of female villains (I'm literally in 300 different fandoms). But Wanda was not meant to be that, especially knowing that there are so few female heroes of color on screen (it gets even worse when we only count phase 1, 2 and 3).

In any case, my point is, fans cannot accept the influence of MCU!Wanda to be translated to comics because it's erasure of her identity and plain racism. The new team is working very hard to portray a woman of color as she was supposed to be ever since her roma heritage was established in comics, and it's infuriating that people will turn a blind eye to all that.

Like, this kind of shit keeps happening over and over.

Even when Wanda is a brown woman like she's supposed to be, they still find a way to erase her through 0ls3n's whiteness. This is not different from those derranged people who pick white actors and photoshop them over Black Panther's characters (I've seen one just yesterday).

Sure many minorities were poorly portrayed back then, often depicting problematic characterizations, but here's an excellent case of how comic books allow room for growth (I was talking about HP and JK but it also fits this post)

Agatha was just the last bit of bad influence from that accursed TV show. She was deaged, which is absurdly ageist. There are so many few elderly and middle-aged women in the Marvel universe. There's less now because women can't be old (ask me about the anons that stated Charlize was too old to play Clea and watch me burn in rage).

Anyways, I wanted to make this about Wanda again because it's not just a case of bad adaptation. It's a political statement -- and a bad one. And I don't want ANY OF THAT in a media that is so political and means so much to minorities. I feel like it's important for us to talk about this ALWAYS. So yeah. I don't know how to end this post. Representation matters. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[edmundhoward]

2, 3, 10, 12, & 13 😈

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

katherine howard stands out in basically all of her relationships as dominant/forthright in what she wants, with a sharp turn of phrase that suggests that while flirtations were fun for her, she had a capability to be mean when she willed it. she comes across as genuinely charming and charismatic, with a consistent attentiveness, but she also reliably has an edge to her in her relationships — she was arguably callous with dereham, and criticised culpeper repeatedly while also mocking bess harvey. i don’t generally like the way g.russell talks about her wrt her relationships, but i do like the way he described katherine as proud and proud and enjoying “one-upmanship in her flirtations”. do with that what you will.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you ve seen on tumblr

not going to screenshot but there are soo many that are frankly baffling. the first to come to mind is the claim that poor henry viii must’ve been so offended by coa and her camp publicly dragging his baby brother’s name through the mud/throwing arthur under the bus. which begs the question: what, exactly, prompted coa to do that, pray tell? i really would love to know! very wilfully obtuse considering she was called to discuss the validity of her first marriage because henry viii disregarded the dispensation from the pope, and (arguably unnecessarily) made consummation a fundamental point of contention in annulling her second. that's on him. frankly, the whole ‘she used arthur’ argument really relies on an assumption that coa was lying about her sexual history when it suited her — as opposed to her being forced to once more defend her honour. (i guess it’s not surprising seeing as i have also seen posts insinuating that she had an inappropriate relationship with her confessor). moreover, why should we care if she was lying, or if she used arthur? atp, everyone involved is bones, and personally, i don’t give a single solitary shit if her defending herself denied henry from having a male heir, because monarchy is actually bullshit ❤️ it’s definitely not the worst but it’s so stupid and so funny to me.

10. worst part of fanon

the white feminism (read as: racism) lol.

this answer is definitely prompted by trastamara fandom’s disregard for poc/iberian muslims, but to bring it back to the tudors (and because i am dedicated to e1 stans catching strays) whatever the fuck certain elizabeth i stans have going on is rancid. the whole argument about whether or not elizabeth i should be held accountable for funding three slaving voyages was a profoundly bleak period in fandom, and seeing someone argue that it was “only three slave ships”… well. i hate it here, i absolutely hate it here.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

i don’t know if he counts as unpopular, but he’s not popular and the level of vitriol aimed at him relative to actual surviving historical fact makes me want to say henry vii, to be honest? the man was fascinating and generally successful in a way others compared against him (r3, h8) can’t always claim to be. regardless of whether or not people like him, how strongly some people hate him is wild. i’ve seen people claim he “inherited his rapist tendencies from his father” — an insane thing to say, not least because there is no evidence of rape connected to him. it just exposes the terminal brainworms and cringe that ricardians and h8 stans have… sad sad tears of a clown, truly. the fact that pointing out the very real, repeatedly historically recorded trend of calling henry vii ‘y daroganwr’ in multiple awdls got dismissed as “lionising” him… genuinely think people who actively dislike henry vii are stupid, end of discussion.

13. worst blorboficiation

at the moment, eustace chapuys is coming to mind. the tudors making him this sort of paternal figure, and moral crusader fighting for mary (and coa) was well done — but wildly inaccurate. the fact that his misogyny shapes and colours our perception of the tudor court world really must be recognised. if nothing else, i think recognising chapuys as a flawed, inconsistent and hypocritical figure makes him significantly more interesting. this is the man who belligerently called anne boleyn a whore, “concubine”, and the “english messalina”, and dismissed elizabeth as a bastard — to the point of having egregiously violent fantasies about them — whilst having an illegitimate son, himself. it’s very difficult to read his dispatches (many of which are often easily disproven and full of erroneous claims) and not be struck by the constant stream of potent and constant misogyny.

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Listen, I actually couldn't finish this episode. Like I lost brain cells, got ingestion and finally KO-ed because I could NOT grasp the plot. Not even seeing Lena again made this enjoyable for me. But here's what I got:

- I wonder how many takes Thomas took to say Nxyly's full name without biting his tongue off

- also I am so sorry Thomas that they had you sing. And yet somehow that wasn't the most cringe thing to happen in this episode

- Nia and Kara desperately assigning blame to themselves instead of just, idk, working together to fix the problem. Who cares who's fault it is??

- Alex jumping in front of kara when mxy brandishes the PZ projector is the only thing I liked

- Kelly's absence felt so odd after 2 back to back episodes of her front and centre

- Nia thinking that Kara would drag her for making a mistake makes me wonder if these characters even know each other

- kara: "I should've told you guys about Nxyly". Yes you idiot you absolutely should have! Like I get that they don't wanna bring it up but like how is ignoring what happened to her any better? Do they not do any Intel sharing?

- the fucking zookeeper is still here?!?!?

- look I wasn't expecting Lena to be talking to kara on the phone, I know better than that, but I had hoped it would at least be Nia considering that Lena and her have been bonding over their moms and it just makes sense??

- andrea's titty window sans kara or Lena to see it. What was it all for?

- I understand Lena using Andrea's resources to help her out and shit and I'm actually surprised the writer's remembered she doesn't have access to the LuthorCorp jet anymore. I honestly wouldn't have batted an eye if she did tho.

- the way we haven't had ANY scenes of dialogue between kara and lena aside from 6x01 and only ONE line from kara to Lena since then. Like are they actually going to brush everything under the goddamn rug? We heard from Alex that they've forgiven each other and it seems that way too but we haven't actually had the chance to judge that as an audience and it's (checks notes) 11 episodes already???

-Kara is back and yet Lena doesn't seem full. Kara is back and yet she hasn't been vulnerable with lena or with anyone really. Or was that all a lie?

- Nxyly is actually kinda hot in this episode. Interesting development there

- the team actually fighting a giant pussy cat and more brain cells have died. If they were hoping it would be amusing like the Legends fighting a giant Beebo, spoiler alert - it was not

- mxy and Nxyly and even the king has some keysmash names but one imp is actually named Jared? Just fucking Jared. Christ

- Lena being bullied by a bunch of Canadians is hilarious and I say this as a Canadian. Like Lena has stood her ground against Lex, Lillian, SG, an interrogation room filled with judgemental pricks, fucking Reign and yet, she looked two seconds from crying when denied her hotel room by some fucking Newfies. Get the fuck outa here.

- not a single Tim Hortons run in this entire episode. Are we sure she even went to Canada???

- at one point, I was rooting for Nxyly to win.

- so not only did they bring back that god awful wig that they actually had the audacity to make footage with it? That thing needs to be snatched and thrown into the sun like the trash monster.

- Katie looked so done in this episode and I don't even blame her. I suffered second hand embarrassment on her behalf. Those lines, her behaviour. It's like what the fuck happened to the Lena from the past 4 seasons?

- the mean bartender says "I've seen you on the news running arm in arm with a bulletproof alien" and the places my mind went is probably why I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the episode.

- so lemme see if I have this right. Lena's mom visits the cave lady in her dreams but never once thought to visit her traumatized little daughter?

- am I supposed to be upset that they killed an abuser? Because I'm not

- so much porn shots of the town car driving up and down some sketch and lonely road

- did Google maps really lead Lena to some random cave?? Bruh

- Lena's scenes felt so disconnected for a minute I thought I was watching a completely different show.

- aluminum foil on the props lord did they just say fuck it and made a Dollarama run for the cheapest 200ft roll they could buy?

- Kara being a mentor to Nia for the first time since that Nia centric episode last season. God I hate it here.

- they do remember J'onn is a shape shifter right? Why do we need an image inducer? I get the little Lena is still with the team crumb but it's stupid.

- still no word on M'gann huh

- yo since the Luthors are technically perceived on Earth-Prime as "good", what trail of bodies is this bar lady talking about? This isn't public knowledge and Lena's mom only killed 1 dude who frankly deserved it.

- sigh. We're really doing this witch Lena thing then.

- kara stop trying to reach the good in people! Just stop. When has this bullshit EVER WORKED? Some people are just too far gone. Accept it.

- stronger together has truly lost meaning on this show

- Alex and Kara being so willing to hold much less use the PZ projector is utter bullshit. Also they just have that thing lying around for any grabby hands to take?

- what the actual fuck is Kara's arc this season? Or Alex? Or poor J'onn. The man has been seriously neglected.

- kara is supposed to be the most powerful being on the planet and yet this show continues to nerf her abilities. God I missed the days of S1 when Kara looked like she could fuck shit up.

- also when is kara going to be the focus of her own show again? Are we ever going to properly address Kara's issues? We got two episodes of James processing his trauma and only 5 mins of flashbacks in 6x08 for Kara and a few fleeting moments sprinkled across the last 5 seasons. Ridiculous. Like it won't diminish her as a character to seek professional help, it won't make her any less of a hero. Think of how impactful that would be and the message that could send about the importance of mental health.

- glad to see a promo for this important episode next week (I honestly can't wait - Kelly in a head wrap is so personal to me y'all) but please I'm begging you, do not make the issue of race come at the expense of kara's intelligence and awareness. She's a journalist, she's seen xenophobia and written about it, she's been friends with James for years. Kara knows about racism. Please show that.

Needless to say I did not enjoy this episode at all. I was happy to see Lena again but all her scenes were just hard to watch. I feel like so much of their very limited time is being wasted and there's still so many things they haven't touched upon yet. When exactly are we gonna get to it? Better question, will we ever get to it? Probably not.

Like I wanted to see the super friends communicating, leaning on each other, character growth, being truly stronger together but no. They're giving us literally anything but that and it's frustrating.

[martyrgargoyle]

MASTERPOST TO THE TYLER JOSEPH SITUATION FOR ANYONE CONFUSED!

On September 2nd, 2020, Tyler Joseph tweeted this:

Before this post Tyler has never spoken up about BLM. Many of his fans, especially POC have been asking him to please voice and show support since he has a large influence. Instead, he chose to downplay a movement based on the minority having the courage to face their oppressors that have brutalized and discriminated against them and demand change. Instead of holding this movement as serious and important as it is, he chose to make it a punchline to his insensitive and self centered joke and mocking the people that are risking their lives fighting for a difference.

Tyler Joseph has an estimated net worth of 20 million. That's 20,000,000. He also benefits from being white, cis (and het passing/straight), male, and physically abled. He won't risk being homeless due to being fired (other people signed to the same label has spoken out) or kicked out/evacuated if he spoke out. He won't risk brutalization by the police for speaking out. He would not risk being shot point blank for speaking out. All of these, and more, have happened to people that's fought for BLM. Protesters have been tracked down and arrested and killed. Yet a man with as much privilege as him refused to say anything this entire time.

He is in the position and has power to speak out and influence thousands with his platform and being an idol to a lot of younger teens that take his word as fact and will defend him. This is incredibly dangerous because it starts and gives a pass for racist mindset to younger people, meaning they could think BLM is a joke or not serious or lead to even worse racist thoughts due to them wanting to be like their idol.

Then Tyler proceeded to post this rant on mental health about 40 minutes after being criticized by many fans:

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts on this and dissecting his s*icide baity and victimizing rant.

1. While using humor can be a valid coping mechanism, it has a time and place as well as a subject matter. For me I can say a dark joke on my past abuse. But for someone else, it is not their right to make my trauma their entertainment. Especially if that person is someone that didn't/doesn't face the same trauma and is in a position to benefit from it.

2. Why is supporting BLM such a burden on him? He doesn't face the discriminated they do yet act as if they're a burden if he cannot make their suffering an entertainment. He acts as if saying Black people shouldn't be killed due to their race harms him and he's suffering due to it. Instead of even remaining silent (which is violent and dangerous as well), he went out of his way specifically to mock the movement.

3. He's weaponizing mental health as an excuse for his tone death joke. He's trying to make himself seem the victim for facing backlash and when he first posted these, it was spaced out and had a s*icide baity feel. He shouldn't put POC down to uplift mental health, both are such important issues but instead....

3. He says reminding us what he's 'fighting' for, which apparently is just mental health. But what about POC's mental health, in this case? What about a Black person being depressed and drained and scared because they see their family and friends being killed only due to their race? And on top of that, having to worry if it happens to them as well while constantly grieving? Is that not important or 'worthy' of his support? Or is he admitting he only 'fights' for something that'll cater to and provide for him as well? And that if he can't benefit, he won't care or deem it something worthy to fight for and that he doesn't care? He can't use his mental illness/your shtick as a reason why you will excuse and ignore (and cater to) racism.

But most controversial and insensitive of all he tweeted this with it:

Here he is upfront and clearly defending his joke, despite being told and aware of how insensitive it was. He is admitting he doesn't care about POC feelings or how it impacts them and the way his original tweet has hurt his fanbase. He is defending his mocking of the BLM movement and the people actually fighting while being less privileged than him. He is saying his feelings and his joke means more than POC dying for no reason other than their skin color. He is defending his insensitive tweet knowing it has hurt POC.

He is bluntly being racist and aware of it.

And finally, he tweeted the damage control:

And this is just as repulsive and wrong as his mental health excuse.

1. It was about human rights. There's no way to excuse or lie or downplay it. He literally made a joke about his POC fans begging him to show support and use him platform given his privilege and influence. He can't lie his way through this to excuse himself or try to make people that were understandably upset look like over reacting fools.

2. No room for that? People never said he has to only talk on BLM. If he's waiting for it to stop mattering or trending, it's disgusting. Black lives will ALWAYS matter, it doesn't change based on the hashtag trending or it gaining more attention. He acts as he can't care about two different things or that Black lives doesn't matter as much as a subject that affects you. No one said he can't talk and continue to bring awareness to mental health and for many POC it's more important than ever to have resources and support since they live in a world with a society literally designed to kill and target them. Instead of tweeting one thread or link to donations or awareness to the discrimination Black people face daily; Tyler made a joke, defended it despite it hurting POC, then threw a tantrum for an excuse on why he could never be assed to even pretend to care that much.

3. If it hurted someone? POC were literally telling him from the start it was harmful and damaging. He DID hurt POC but he didn't listen or care until he realized how damaging it is for his career? He isn't sorry he hurt POC, he's sorry he has hurt his career and reputation in exposing his immaturity regarding serious issues. He's ignoring and shifting blame and finally doing even below bare minimum. From the very first tweet to him defending it, he has alerted and told on himself for placing his feelings above Black lives. He deemed a joke on the expense of BLM meaning more than actual Black people's feelings.

Debby Ryan and Josh Dun has both liked his original tweet:

---

As well as these tweets he has had a questionable history. Involving:

Racist tweets from 2015 he never apologized for.

Anti-black lyrics such as in Lane Boy:

'I wasn't raised in the hood

But I know a thing or two about pain and darkness'

And while that can be and is a reference to how mental illness impacts even privileged, it just doesn't sit right with me personally.

He also uses hip hop and rap (a genre specifically tied in and dominated by Black artists and labeled as not real music/easy musix), per example of Heavydirtysoul (just entire second half is continuously putting rap artists down) and Holding Onto You, quoting the song 'Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It' by Dem Franchize Boyz to be below him. (Bridge 2, line one)

Tyler has also refused to publicly disagree with his brother's racist, transphobic, homophobic, right-winged views.

Has not spoken about police brutality before, such as ignoring it until a police officer got killed back in 2016.

---

Please feel free to reblog and add on/talk about your thoughts! :)

[niallloverontheloose]

“Stop ignoring or sidelining Scott McCall when he is the true alpha and the main fucking character of Teen Wolf!”

LOL the fuck is Scott/Posey Stans’ problem https://scintalla.tumblr.com/post/650697822782586880/i-am-really-done-with-the-tw-fandom-i-mean-this

https://scintalla.tumblr.com/post/650260868277370880/scott-mccall-is-not-dumb

@scintalla:

I am really done with the TW fandom. I mean, this post isn’t about ALL fans of Teen Wolf but the majority have just ruined my experience in this fandom. Keep in mind that these are my opinions which I’m sharing and not a personal attack on anyone. So here’s why I’m fed up with both the fandom and even the show to an extent:

1) The hatred towards Scott McCall is just appalling. I genuinely can’t think of a reason why anyone would hate this precious ray of sunshine who is always trying to protect everyone. Like is a 16 year old and doesn’t know everything about being a werewolf the second he was bitten? *Lol, he’s so ‘dumb’.* Doesn’t immediately trust Derek because he has no reason to? *Poor Derek Scott is such a 'meanie’* Doesn’t abandon Allison the moment Derek tells him to because the latter is a stranger and Allison doesn’t even know about her family being hunters? *Everything is Scott’s 'fault’.* Makes a masterplan to defeat Gerard and save everyone? *Fandom shrugs and continues to make everything about Stiles* His ex girlfriend dies in his arms? *Fandom cries a tear and moves on to fawn on Void! Stiles* Saves everyone in the show, becomes the true alpha from the merit of his character *Fandom closes its eyes and fawns over one liners that Stiles threw* Literally dies and is attacked by his best friend for not saving his father when he was DEAD? *Poor Stiles, Scott is such a bad friend. Why can’t he just do everything according to how Stiles wants him to? Who cares that even Stiles himself trusted Theo and confided in him only about having to kill Donovan and never clarifies to Scott that he did it in self defense.* Like I can go on and on about how much of Scott’s trauma and pain are shrugged off because of fandom’s obsession with Stiles and even the show makes it appear as if it was Scott’s fault somehow that he died and couldn’t save Stiles’ father. I’m so tired. Tyler Posey was so good at playing Scott and his performance is ignored by 99.99% of the fandom.

2) KIRA YUKIMURA DESERVED BETTER! She was treated so badly by both the fandom AND the show! People were continually comparing her and Allison even though Allison was okay with Scott moving on and even teamed up with Kira in 'De- Void’ episode. And why can’t Scott move on? Allison wouldn’t have wanted Scott to mope over her forever. And Kira’s story and character development are thrown in trash and she isn’t even mentioned in season 6! Like, I’m not mad that she chose herself over Scott because it’s okay but they could have spent AT LEAST five minutes to talk about Kira and where she was and how she was doing. And the fandom’s unwarranted dislike of her even though the show had made it clear that she isn’t Allison’s 'replacement’ or whatever reasons people use to justify their hatred of her. Like she is a sweetheart, her relationship with Scott was cute and healthy and she doesn’t deserve any hate thrown towards her. Arden Cho portrayed her so well and I hate that she was treated like this by both fandom and writers of the show.

3) Malia Tate is treated so badly by the fandom that even I was surprised by the venom hurled towards her. Malia spent eight years as a coyote, so obviously she doesn’t know how to handle complex human emotions that even teenagers struggle with. And she does better than expected . She is not an 'unsupportive’, 'abusive’ girlfriend that toxic Stydia (i.e. not ALL stydia shippers, only the toxic ones) shippers make her out to be. She even figured out that Stiles had killed Donovan in self defense and said she didn’t judge him for it. And what did she get in return? She was ditched by her boyfriend for her efforts. And no, it’s not toxic that she was jealous of Lydia and Stiles because she was just dumped and wasn’t given closure over it, so obviously she isn’t going to be okay that her boyfriend was moving on so quickly. Like it’s not ideal but it’s not the worst thing. And even if you don’t ship stalia, you have no reason to hate on her. Just ship your ship and leave others who don’t agree with your personal opinion alone.

I haven’t even scratched the tip of the iceberg but these were the only ones that came to my mind. The blatant sexism and racism from the fans really saddens me and I wouldn’t be so mad if actors like Tyler Posey, Arden Cho, Shelley Hennig etc.. weren’t hated on for doing their literal jobs. Like, I’m not telling you to hate Stiles or Derek (which is impossible as it is when it comes to TW fandom) or tell you to stop shipping Sterek and Stydia (There’s nothing wrong with the ships inherently but I wish its stans weren’t so hell bent on making everything in TW about their ship). Only that you stop hating poc, female characters for no valid reasons and stop excusing your white faves’ problematic actions because they cried about it once or whatever. Like no wonder why white men are able to get away with the worst shit while poc and women suffer for no fault of theirs and hated on for things they can’t control; like their race or gender.

//

“I’M NOT TELLING YOU TO LIKE SCOTT AND HATE STILES AND DEREK” Antis screech at the top of their ragged lungs as they proceed to hate Stiles and Derek for daring to eclipse their whiny fav Scott from day one without even trying, throw a temper tantrum because everyone – including the whole Teen Wolf cast and their bitter flop fav Tyler Posey himself – prefers Stiles and Derek to Scott, and go out of their delusional way to twist and/or erase canon in order to blame Stiles and Derek for Scott’s own canonical toxic actions and behavior.

I also luv the way they try to paint Tyler Posey as a poor mistreated, sidelined, discriminated victim and pretend to give a shit about Arden Cho and Kira Yukimura as if Posey hasn’t been texting Jeff Davis begging his buddy to give him a job for the past five years and didn’t refer to Kira as “a good distraction for Scott”

@scintalla post is another proof that Scott Stans never watched an episode of the actual show:

“Scott makes a masterplan to defeat Gerard and saves everyone? Fandom shrugs and continues to make everything about Stiles”

Except that Scott didn’t save anyone in Master Plan – Stiles, Peter and Lydia did – and failed to kill Gerard. The only thing Scott achieved with his dumb excuse of a plan was prompting his buddy Gerard to order the Kanima to slaughter everyone in the warehouse, including Scott.

“His ex girlfriend dies in his arms? Fandom cries a tear and moves on to fawn over Void Stiles”

Did you notice how Scott/Posey Stans, just like Tyler Posey and Jeff Davis, try to make Allison’s heroic death all about Scott? Also: the Teen Wolf fandom can call the show writers out for shitting on Allison and making her heroic death all about her toxic ex boyfriend AND fawn over Stiles and Void Stiles at the same time. Just saying 😘

“Scott saves everyone in the show, becomes the true alpha from the merit of his character” Lmfao sure Jan! Like, everyone knows Jeff Davis came up with that true alpha nonsense last minute just to make his self insert Scott a little less irrelevant. But go off I guess

“Who cares that even Stiles himself trusted Theo and confided in Scott only about having to kill Donovan and never clarifies to Scott that he did it in self defense”

1) Stiles never trusted Theo. Theo himself had no problem admitting that Stiles was smart enough not to trust him. Unlike Scott, who fell for Theo’s cheap lies and got played by Theo like a cheap kazoo throughout Season 5 #Oops

2) Scott is neither Stiles’ dad, alpha, nor authority figure. Stiles is not obligated to share his traumas with a toxic friend if he doesn’t want to

3) Scott’s the one who yells “B-b-but it is not self defense anymore!” at Stiles in Lies of Omission

“I can go on and on about how much of Scott’s trauma and pain are shrugged off because of fandom’s obsession with Stiles… Tyler Posey was so good at playing Scott and his performance is ignored by 99.99% of the fandom”

If Scott/TP Stans are so butthurt that everyone is in love and obsessed with Stiles and Void Stiles instead of paying attention to superior true alpha Scott, then why don’t they take their jealousy and frustrations out on Posey? Tyler Posey is just as in love and obsessed with Dylan O’Brien, Stiles and Void Stiles as everyone else is (if not more.)

As for @scintalla & Scott McCall defense squad circle jerk whining and throwing a tantrum cause “Posey’s performance got ignored”, well… they should be fucking grateful everyone – including critics, fans, viewers, the whole Teen Wolf cast, and Posey himself – were too busy praising and gushing all over Star & Breakout Star of the show Dylan O’Brien’s phenomenal acting talent to pay attention to Tyler Posey’s cringe worthy attempts at acting

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[retrievablememories]

like you | jungwoo

title: like you pairing: jungwoo x black!reader genre: fluff, college!au request: “Hi. I’m requesting a fluffy imagine where Y/N is a senior in college and Jungwoo is a freshman in college. Y/N gets upset because people keep picking on him because he is asian and she defends him. This causes Jungwoo to get extremely clingy/flirty and develop a crush on Y/N. Y/N is not used to recieving affection so she feels skeptical” word count: 3.8k warnings: cursing, instances of racism a/n: this one was pretty fun to write, i love writing college-inspired stuff for some reason lol. tumblr fucked the image quality but whatever. the title comes from the song off story op 1. stan kim jonghyun girlies!

“Who’s that guy in your Medieval History class?” Your roommate, Mira, randomly asks you one day. She’s hanging off the edge of your bed, her textbook on the ground in front of her as she fists her hands in her hair and tries to comprehend the words swimming on the page in front of her.

You turn away from your desk to look at her. “That’s a random ass question. Have the words finally fried your brain? I don’t even know what guy you’re talking about.”

She looks up at you, crossing her arms in front of her and resting her chin on them. “Fuck this homework man, I’ve had enough. I wanna know who’s the guy in your History class, the black-haired one? The Asian dude?”

You think for a moment. You do remember who she’s talking about; he sits closer to the front of the class, though you’re not sure how she knows him. She’s not even in the same class. He has cute features, though you haven’t paid him much mind—you know from the first day’s icebreaker that he’s a freshman exchange student, but any other details have escaped your mind.

“I don’t remember his name at the moment...what about him?”

“He seems kind of awkward, like...I’ve only really seen him with one other boy. It’s kinda sad...he could use a friend or two.”

“You’re assuming he’s awkward? Maybe he’s just shy, or doesn’t want 800 different friends,” you say, turning to another page in your notebook. There are only a couple of reasons why she’d ask you about a guy, and you can guess what her plans are. “If you want to be his friend, you can. Ain’t nobody stopping you.”

“Well, shit, can’t you like...introduce me? I don’t wanna be a weirdo going up to a total stranger!”

You laugh incredulously. “Girl, he’s a total stranger to me too. If you really want to be friends, just say so...or say you’re with that Freshman Committee who pairs upperclassmen mentors with the new students. I’m sure that’ll work well.” In actuality, you’re not entirely serious or sure about that, but it’s better than listening to your friend complain.

Mira sighs, going back to her textbook. “Ugh, you never wanna help me get guys. Fine...I could try it, but if I end up looking like a fool I’m blaming you.”

You only have Medieval History on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you have to wait another day before returning to class again. After keeping your ears open for the roll call, you figure out that the guy’s name is Jungwoo.

He appears to be really into the subject and participates often, asking and answering questions whenever the professor engages with the students. You’re only taking Medieval History to fill out the last credit for your Social Studies electives, so you never expected to be all into the subject; but the teacher does a decent enough job of making the class not totally boring. 

Jungwoo has a pretty proficient grasp of English, which makes you wonder if he did a lot of studying before he got here. He mispronounces a word when asking the teacher about a certain concept in the reading material, though, and a couple of girls who sit behind him laugh. You furrow your eyebrows at that, wondering what their problem is.

Later, when you’re leaving class, they pass by you and you hear a bit of their conversation.

“Shit, if you’re gonna move over here you should at least know English first,” one says, screwing up her nose.

“Seriously, it’s so embarrassing. I thought Asians were supposed to be geniuses or something?” Both girls laugh at that, and you roll your eyes at the ignorance. They’re gone only seconds later, although your mind keeps drifting back to their comments for the rest of the day.

Over the next week, you notice that those same two girls seem to spend more of their class time giggling over Jungwoo’s mannerisms and speech than actually participating in the class. It quickly begins wearing your nerves thin; you’ve never gotten along well with people who are assholes just for the sake of being mean.

If Jungwoo notices—which you figure he must, because their cackling is too obvious not to pick up on—he doesn’t acknowledge it. This only makes you more irritated, knowing that he probably isn’t interested in picking a fight with these girls; but that doesn’t mean he should continue being disrespected.

You reach a point where you can no longer stay silent during a lecture on Medieval cuisine, where the girls keep whispering silly jokes about Asian food. You clear your throat loud enough to make a few heads turn, including the girls doing the laughing. “Excuse you, I can’t hear the teacher over the noise,” you say pointedly, crossing your arms. They both give you salty looks at that comment, and you have to stifle the urge to throw something at the backs of their heads when they turn around.

This is going to be a long semester.

Things come to head one day when you’re all waiting outside the classroom for the professor’s last class to leave. Jungwoo is standing beside the classroom’s door, while you’re seated on a nearby bench, trying to stay awake after studying until 2 a.m. last night.

The two girls walk into the hallway, including a boy you don’t recognize; you figure he’s probably a friend or boyfriend. You kiss your teeth at their entrance and try to return to your thoughts, but you’re quickly taken out of them again when you see the trio stop in front of Jungwoo.

The first girl, who seems to be the ringleader, speaks. “Hey, what’s your name again—Ching? Jing?”

“We need some homework help! And since you seem to be the teacher’s pet…” Both girls look at each other and laugh at that. Jungwoo furrows his eyebrows, an unimpressed expression on his face.

“I don’t think that’s—” Jungwoo starts, but the other guy cuts him off, putting his hand to his ear in an exaggerated gesture.

“What was that? We need you to enunicate, no one knows what the fuck you’re saying.” This time, all three of them break into laughter. 

The tiredness drains from your body faster than any caffeine could achieve as you watch the scene unfold. Some of your other classmates look on, shifting uncomfortably, but no one moves to say or do anything. Before you can really think about it, you’re already up on your feet and walking towards the group.

“Maybe if your miserable asses spent more time studying the lectures instead of shitting on a fellow student, you wouldn’t have to beg for help.”

All three of them, plus Jungwoo, turn their heads in your direction with varying expressions on their faces. The main girl speaks up, putting her hands on her hips. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“You, bitch! Who else? Y’all love picking on someone you know is too nice to say anything back. That’s weak as hell and says more about you than it ever could about him.”

Your voices start getting louder as the girl gets up in your face, and before anything can pop off, the professor comes storming through the classroom door.

“What the hell is going on here?” he shouts over the arguing.

The girl backs down after the professor makes his appearance and turns to look at her two partners in crime. “Girl—got the damn teacher out here, come on, we ain’t got time for this shit.” They both walk away in a huff, their male friend trailing behind them, and some other students give them sideways glances as they pass. The guy throws you a dirty look before he leaves, and you don’t hesitate to flip him off.

“That’s an unexcused absence on your record!” The professor calls after them, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Jungwoo has been watching the whole scene with shocked eyes, and he keeps looking at you as you shrug and head into the classroom.

The next time you have your Medieval History class, the two girls don’t show up. Maybe they’re too embarrassed to come back to class, but whatever it is, it’s above you now.

After the professor finishes his main lecture, he flips through his copy of the class textbook for the day’s assignment. “Everyone, turn to page 273 in your books. I want you all to read and analyze this text on Romanesque architecture, then answer the 3 discussion questions on page 275. You can get into groups of no more than 3 if you wish, but everyone needs to turn in their own individual answer sheet.”

Sighing, you open your notebook and rifle through your backpack for a writing utensil. When you look up, you jump a little from shock; Jungwoo is standing near your desk with his things in his arms.

“Hi...could we work together?” He gives you a gentle smile.

“Oh, sure, that’s fine with me!” Jungwoo takes the empty seat beside you and you push your desks to be closer together.

“I never got to say,” he starts, “but thank you for doing that last week...you didn’t have to.”

“Well, I would hope any decent person would...I didn’t want to just sit there and watch you be insulted. It’s so unnecessary...” You quickly flip through your textbook, completely overshooting the assignment page and having to go back. You feel a little flustered at this kind of attention, because you weren’t really doing it to be noticed or heroic.

Jungwoo smiles at your modesty, though he doesn’t try to push the matter.

At the end of class, after you’ve both turned in your assignments, you and Jungwoo leave together.

“Thanks for partnering with me today,” you tell him, and he nods in acknowledgement. “I guess I’ll see you next class?”

“Actually, do you want to eat lunch with me? I mean, at the cafeteria today?” he asks. His eyes seem to literally sparkle in anticipation of your answer, and you find it hard to turn that face down. Plus, he seems nice enough; this could be a good way to introduce him to Mira.

“Sure,” you say, grinning.

You and Jungwoo head to the dining hall for lunch, talking about anything that comes to mind along the way. You find out that him and his roommate, Jaehyun, have been best friends for awhile before deciding to go overseas for college; his roommate has been to the U.S. before, but this is his first time. He talks a lot more than you expected him to, but you figure some people just need time to warm up before they get comfortable.

It doesn’t take you long to find Mira after you get to the cafe, and you plan to let her take the reins with the conversation, but Jungwoo continually does his best to keep you roped into the dialogue. You realize you don’t mind that, though—it’s nice to have someone who actively engages you rather than lets you fade into the background.

Jungwoo quickly makes the desk beside yours his new spot in class. He sticks close to your side during lectures and even when you walk to the cafeteria or back to your dorm, always thinking of something new to tell you about. With any other person you’d quickly get tired of this borderline clingy behavior, but something about him keeps you interested, even when you’re talking about stuff that would be boring to others—like Medieval History.

The two girls eventually make their return, glowering silently at you and Jungwoo but not saying a word. Their object of laughter and mockery is no longer available for harassment; who knows who they’ll try to terrorize next, though you hope the answer is no one.

“You don’t mind that Jungwoo always wants to hang out with me, do you? Since I know you kinda liked him and all.” You ask Mira at lunch one day, when Jungwoo leaves the table to get the straw he forgot. You feel a bit sheepish. You didn’t mean to “steal” her prospective man away from her, but you and Jungwoo have taken a liking to each other, and you enjoy being in his presence.

“Jungwoo? No! I actually have my eye on another guy in my Nursing class now, he’s really funny and he owns a collection of vintage records…” You snort, unsurprised that her attention has drifted already. Mira launches into a whole spiel about this new dude, even detailing how the color of his irises is just shy of being “true hazel green.” She pauses in her speech to bat her eyelashes at you. “Besides, it seems like you two have something going on already. I wouldn’t dare get in between that.”

You almost drop your food in your lap. “Uh, what?”

“Don’t be shy. You two are practically tied at the hip, and Jungwoo already talks to you like you’re his girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time at this point.”

“I seriously doubt that,” you say, suddenly feeling very put on the spot. You don’t think Jungwoo sees you like that at all, and you’re a little irritated that your roommate would suggest it, jokingly or not.

She sighs and shakes her head. When she spots Jungwoo walking back to the table, she tries to act casual and wrap the subject up. “Suit yourself, but I’m always right about this kinda stuff. Watch.”

Every year, your college throws a Welcome Back party on the last Friday of the first month in the semester. You initially didn’t have plans to go, much preferring your friends’ kickbacks where you don’t have to avoid sweaty and horny stranger dudes all night. However, Jungwoo turns to you one day after class ends and brings it up.

“Y/N, there’s gonna be a party on campus at the end of the week...are you going?”

“Hmm, probably not...Welcome Back parties are always lowkey messy and filled with freshmen who don’t know how to act…” You momentarily forget that Jungwoo is a freshman, and you have to walk your comment back a bit. “Not saying you’ll be like that, though!”

He waves it off. “It’s fine. It’s just, me and Jaehyun are going and thought it’d be fun if you came too.”

“Well…”

Jungwoo rests his head on your shoulder and hugs your arm. “Please? I want the prettiest girl in school to be my date.”

You pat his hand and laugh off his comment, unsure how to accept his compliment. “Since you asked so nicely…I’ll go. But I’m bringing Mira with me. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone to a campus party.”

“Yes!! That’s fine, Jaehyun will probably like her,” Jungwoo says, smirking. You still don’t get how they haven’t formally met yet with how your friend circles overlap, but you know it’s coming soon. Obviously, Jungwoo knows something you don’t, judging by the look on his face, but you don’t inquire about it.

You and Mira spend the night of the party getting ready with Megan Thee Stallion and City Girls blasting through your dorm room. She was a little resistant to the idea at first, insisting that campus parties were too corny for her taste, but you eventually convinced her to go. 

As the hour approaches, there’s a knock on your door. You’re still putting the finishing touches on your makeup, so you tell Mira to answer it. When she does, Jungwoo and Jaehyun are standing there.

“You guys are here already? Who let you in?” she says jokingly, though you wonder the same thing; you can’t get into a dorm you don’t live in without a key card.

“Some guy downstairs. Maybe your dorm needs better security.” Jaehyun laughs. “I tried to tell Jungwoo it’s still early, but he was ready to leave.”

“Walking in on two girls getting ready, how presumptuous of you,” Mira giggles, pretending to shove Jungwoo’s shoulder. You roll your eyes hard and try not to laugh in the mirror. “But you’re here now, so might as well come in.”

Jungwoo makes a beeline straight to you, placing his hands on your shoulders like he wants to give you a massage. “Hi pretty girl.” He smiles at your reflection, and you almost drop your lip gloss on the floor.

“Oh, h-hey, Jungwoo! The party tonight better be fun...if not, you owe me,” you say, trying to play off your nervousness.

Jungwoo acts reluctant about it, placing his hand in his chin and thinking deeply. “I owe you? Well, okay...anything you want.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You can have my heart first, if you want.”

This time you really do drop your lip gloss, and Mira and Jaehyun watch with amused fascination as you mourn your lost makeup. But right now, you just want to avoid thinking about what Jungwoo has just said, and how it makes you feel.

The gymnasium where the party is being held is just as packed as you expected it to be, even at your group’s early arrival. It’s only going to get more crowded from here, but you don’t think about that as Jungwoo all but drags you to go dance.

You genuinely enjoy yourself for the first time in a while, and you’re surprised at just how much fun you can still have even with drunken dudes bumping into you every few minutes.

You’re too caught up in dancing with Jungwoo to notice, but Mira and Jaehyun are nowhere to be found. You only realize this after you two take a break during a slower song and you can’t spot her anywhere on the gym floor. You send her a text message, but you don’t expect to receive an answer anytime soon.

“Shit, they didn’t waste any time,” you laugh, and for some reason you can’t stop laughing at the situation. Jungwoo joins you until you’re both outright cackling, and some of the other party-goers give you odd glances.

You and Jungwoo spend most of the night dancing and partying with some of your other classmates. You both leave the gym one hour before the party ends, wanting to avoid getting caught in the huge rush of people who’ll be looking for fast food places to hit up. Instead of heading back to your dorms, you two decide to walk around the campus for a while, enjoying the still night air and the sounds of crickets all around you. You’re glad for the open air, because you were burning up in the gym with so many bodies around you.

Neither of you speak for a while, simply taking in the scenery and retracing your footsteps on paths you walk everyday to get to class. Jungwoo finally breaks the silence when you pass through a long path flanked on both sides by rows of flowery trees; this part of campus is so picturesque that it almost seems out of place.

“Tonight is really pretty,” he says, glancing at the starry sky.

“I know, right,” you agree. “It’s so nice outside. I’m glad you convinced me to go to the party.”

“I’m glad too. I really like being next to you...” Jungwoo’s eyes linger on your face for longer than you expect them to, and you look away nervously, unsure what that could mean. “But, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Oh? What’s that?” The sudden change in tone makes you a bit anxious, and you half expect him to tell you he has to return home after this semester ends. That thought makes you more disappointed than you anticipated. Your stomach curls into a knot.

“Y/N, I like you.” Jungwoo’s face is earnest, but your brain has a hard time catching up to the meaning of his words. You feel like you’ve been kicked in the chest—or maybe that’s your heart trying to knock its way out of your ribcage. You stop walking and simply look at him, unsure how to approach his confession. He stops too, turning to face you with gentle eyes.

“I-is...this a joke?” You finally blurt out. Jungwoo’s face draws into a confused expression. He shakes his head, his hair waving as he does.

“It’s not a joke at all. You are funny, nice, cool, brave, pretty…”

“A...are you sure this isn’t just because I defended you? Like, maybe you just feel really grateful about it—a-and we’ve only known each other a month—”

“Y/N, I know how I feel,” Jungwoo argues, grabbing your hands. He pauses for a moment as if he’s trying to come up with the accurate words to express himself. “I just...I don’t need a reason or excuse. I just like you.”

This is all far more than what you’re used to. You pull your hands away from Jungwoo’s for a moment, embarrassed and overwhelmed. You tentatively reach for his hand again after seeing the hurt look on his face, but you hesitate.

“I’m...sorry, it’s just…” You don’t really want to admit something so personal to him, but you don’t know how else to avoid completely hurting his feelings tonight. “I’m, uh, not really used to this kind of stuff…” Jungwoo raises his eyebrows at that.

“Used to...what? Someone liking you?”

“Well damn, when you put it like that…” You try to laugh it off, but you feel corny and sheltered at best. What must Jungwoo think of you, as a senior who’s never had a genuine love interest? You’ve had more than one college boy’s lust directed at you one time or another, but true affection is another thing entirely. That has been a much rarer find.

“Then...you can get used to it now. It’s never too late to experience love.”

“You really believe that?” you say softly, allowing yourself to feel a little relieved that he’s not laughing you out of town. But of course he wouldn’t. He’s not that kind of person, anyway.

“Don’t you?” You let him take your hand this time as he steps closer. “You deserve someone who will treat you nicely, tell you funny stories, carry your books for you..”

“Someone...like you,” you finish for him, thinking back to all the times he’s done those exact same things for you. You’re unsure how to approach the intense newness of this situation, and you’re a little afraid of him holding your sweaty palm, but you decide none of that matters when Jungwoo’s lips meet yours, his hand carefully holding your face.

Right now, the only thing that matters is this moment under the stars.

[norgestan]

I'm going back for seconds! Viri/Hugo, Nora/Miquel, Lucasim, Emma/You. Lol tbh I just want an Emma ship and I feel like we haven't properly settled for one. 😔 Who should end up with Emma, Mia excluded since you haven't watched Druck yet?

ardi round 2, i loooove this :)

VIRIHUGO:

i think at the end of the day i’m just resigned to virihugo’s existence. do i hate that they just Start pining for each other with no setup at all? yes. do i hate that their relationship was a noorhelm+vilde esque get-together where dylan is the one who ends up alone? yes (imagine if noora had told william something like “oh lol vilde is just some slut that goes for every boy around her, she’ll get over it soon and she doesn’t really care about us being together ;)”. bc that’s essentially what virihugo did LOL). do i hate that half of their clips are they just standing still and monologuing about each other? oh yes. do i care? not really. i would resent them a lot more if viri had been the protag of s3, but eskam had really compelling couples with noriquel and norandro so i just spend my time focusing on them and not the lesser part of the season.

viri is an endearing character, and although i didn’t like most of her subplot in s3, i do think eskam made her an interesting character with what they had and i’m happy she got a nice boyfriend that she has lots of fun with. moreover, norandro was lacking the enemies-to-lovers snarky interactions (too busy being a really compelling couple!) and the trope was picked up by hugo and viri. which i kinda dig, because those interactions were the only things that i enjoyed about various noorhelms in the skamverse - if most of them were like that and less bad abusive boy feminist girl jerk-fest, i wouldn’t loathe noorhelm as much as i do. although this also makes me wish viri and hugo had been that kind of dynamic from the start, and just gotten a lot of will-they-won’t-they glances from their friends throughout the show until they finally got into each other on s3. but i guess that would’ve made it impossible for eskam to use dylan just to *checks notes* make every person in the love triangle insanely infuriating, oh well.

tl;dr: they are allowed to exist.

NORIQUEL:

ardi, you just want to see the world burn LMAO

to me it’s hard to dislike any pairing with nora on it because she’s a very good character and that just means she’ll always have great dynamics with other good characters. and oh is miquel a good character. in a lot of ways, eskam gave us two great williams in one season: my boy alejandro, who is the perfect candidate for a nora love interest, who earned his place and then helped nora earn her place as the best candidate to be his love interest as well, and then miquel, that has just enough characterization to be exactly what the narrative of the season needs him to be - not only a mustache-twirling antagonist who will punch out then smirk his way out of situations, but a real person.

see, they could’ve made miquel into a one-dimensional asshole that nora is stupidly into because he’s hot (does that sound familiar to you? LOL) but oh no, miquel is way more than that. he earns nora’s trust because he’s not an asshole, he resents olga for cheating on him and you can see how nora waits until the moment where he’ll call her a slut but it NEVER comes, he defends nora in front of his friends... he gives her what she needs, and he fits right where she expects him to. and that’s so important in a season where every other character is challenging nora in one way or another: alejandro doesn’t fit in her box of “incorrigible fuckboy”, viri doesn’t fit in her box of “helpless friend who needs my pity”, emma doesn’t fit in her box of “s/a victim”. being with miquel is easy, when he just humors her and spits out thoughts that nora agrees with all the time. it’s just REALLY great to watch. not only is her season a display of how emotional abuse looks like, but also her entire relationship with miquel showcases her shame, her flaws, the things she needs to work with to better her relationships with the people who ask more of her because it’s only fair.

i honestly never was in the miquel hate train. once you get the point of the character, it’s easy to love him for what he is. as i said before, miquel was also a call of attention because the conversations that he had with nora reminded me of talks with male friends i’ve had in my uni years, and it really put it in perspective and made me realize that i have been humoring numerous miquels by sitting through their “i’m actually a feminist, ya know” think-pieces and agreeing with the general feeling of it. and i don’t think a character like niko could EVER make anyone feel like that.

i’ve checked the middle square because that was my reaction every time eskam made a point to parallel noriquel to noorhelm. like YES. YOU DO GET ME. TRULY A SEASON FROM NOORHELM ANTIS TO NOORHELM ANTIS. what a skamverse treat. this relationship is good for the SOUL. that’s why i never got infuriated watching the couple, despite knowing what the point of their existence was: at the end of the day, i knew that the signs of abuse weren’t pointless and just fillers for an end-of-season sex scene, but they were actually going to do something interesting with them. and that’s exactly what they did. noriquel is actually a perfectly crafted relationship for what its message is and it deserves to be remembered as that.

LUKASIM:

oh BOY.

i just.... kasim is in this relationship. that already makes this REALLY difficult to tackle it. the thing about kasim is... if you only watched the season as the movistar+ channel shows it, kasim is simply a plot device. he’s not a character. he’s only there to introduce conflict and stir some shit and then fuck off to the sunset. he doesn’t have an og counterpart which meant that eskam didn’t have to actually try with him, and kasim is just what they need him to be: a way to introduce the main conflict, a reason for dounia to hate amira, boy on boy action for that sweet fanservice, misogynist microaggressions towards amira, a loose way to wrap things up at the end of the season and absolve her from any guilt or shame, etc. he just shows up when the plot needs him and then walks away very swaggily. and that’s why kasim is an essay kind of topic because to talk about him, you have to tackle the racism in s4 and all the ways they could’ve made a conflict-inducing gay muslim guy actually likable. which i won’t do here.

but then if you look at the lucas extra clips... he’s actually LIKABLE. he’s a character: he has personality, he’s funny, he doesn’t take lucas’ shit, he will only be with him if lucas apologizes and changes first. and as someone who desperately wants to protect kasim from the shit characterization and treatment he got in the show, i treasure those clips immensely - which i don’t think a lot of people do, and i can see why. it’s just sad that the moments where kasim was a likable, real character were hidden behind a paywall, and drown in a convoluted plotline of outing people when they behave badly as a good punishment. the thing about their get-together is that their impact relies only on amira, and is meant to make her life a living hell. other than that, there’s not really a narrative or character reason why they’re both into each other. is it only because they’re conventionally attractive guys and the only recurrent mlm in the show? wow, that shit’s BORING.

sigh, anyway. in a slightly better world, kasim being gay wasn’t actually a nuance as it was presented in the show. rather, kasim was out and confident about it, close to his sister, probably a regular in las labass where he could also work with organizations of other queer muslims in madrid. this also means that lucas and kasim’s relationship wasn’t the typical hidden gay love story that they were in the actual show, but they’re just, ya know. typical gay kids who made out in the club and then became just friends. or lucas’ activism on s2 warranted some instagram dms and then they upgraded to acquaintances. it’s upsetting that lucas is the only eskild who doesn’t really get to hangout or be in queer circles like other eskilds are implied to, so it would be great for him to actually have gay friends that he enjoys just as much as his primarily friend group. like, their version of lucas’ queer lifestyle being going to bars and hooking up with older guys it’s so....................... why. they didn’t have the time to say anything interesting about it and so obviously they didn’t do it lol. at this rate lucas’ only platonic queer companion is cris, which is lackluster to say the least.

the decision of making kasim lucas’ endgame is just another one on the list of things s4 got so, so wrong. what for? why does lucas need (another) boyfriend, again? why does every queer person in this show have to be dating someone and also come out to their parents? again, their relationship is just another rushed hidden gay love story that i found interesting at 13 years old and then never again. they could’ve taken it into ANY other direction, please. i’m begging.

anyways, you had really nice headcanons of lucas being the only eskild willing to revert to date a muslim guy, so that’s the only reason why i’m open to the idea of them being a couple. in a better universe, eskam actually made a case for these two being a good couple, and i agreed with it. as it is for now, it’s just really pointless, and rooted on the fact that kasim is not a real character to begin with. so i’m OBVIOUSLY sending them to superhell <3

EMMA/ME:

standard wlw relationship that would probably get sooooo much backlash about how neither of the characters Really feel like wlw and the emma love interest being boring as fuck, tbh.

alright, now that we’ve covered all that.... should dear emma grace even end up with someone in the skamverse? maybe one of the skamau girlies, given the proximity? maybe she’ll hook up with the female eskild that i know so many people dislike? idk. emma deserves a nice love story, in the same wavelength as nora. she deserves someone who is patient, who communicates well, who establishes boundaries and asks for respect, who understands she’s not only the act of crazy party girl and there are really interesting, carefully placed layers around her. maybe someone who went through a similar situation or at the very least sits down with her and tries their hardest to understand all the things going on with her life. like... there’s something about emma dropping the accusations and then dipping to another country, away from her parents and even her hometown in the states, just to throw herself in a city as busy as nyc is, that is desperately asking to be explained and explored. in a lot of ways, emma’s story is the other side of the noora story that couldn’t be told through nora’s perspective. in a perfect universe, there’s a spinoff that takes place right between s3 and s4, where emma gets the news of how much of a shithead miquel actually is and she has to question all of that yet again, and break the sense of normalcy and comfort she had built during all those years. it would be great if that story featured her closest friendships, and a newfound love. yes i was serious when i talked about the emma grace spinoff @ movistar+

[thehonestreader]

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Rating: F

It’s been years since Orisha had magic, years since the Raid occurred and King Saran’s army swept through the land, leaving every maji dead in their wake. Since then, Zelie and her family have managed to scrap by, always fearful that one day they won’t be able to pay the diviner tax on her. If that happens, she’ll be arrested and sent off to a labor camp that will likely lead to her death. Such is the fate of most diviners, the children of maji, now. It’s one day when Zelie goes to the market to get more money to cover this tax that a desperate girl grabs her and begs for her protection. From that moment, Zelie’s life will take a turn. Now, tasked with the overwhelming responsibility of bringing magic back to the world, Zelie and her friends will go on a dangerous adventure to undo that damage that was done so long ago.

--

This book has only done one thing for me and that’s to remind me why I stopped reading YA books. Pretty much everything I don’t like about most YA books is condensed into this one story and notched up to eleven. I struggled so much to just fight and get through this. I practically had to force myself to pick up this book and read more than ten pages at a time because I wasn’t enjoying it at all.

It’s been a while since I’ve given a book an F, which means it’s back to the bullet point review style since I refuse to write a paragraph for every single one of these issues.

1. The writing is so bland, especially when you consider that this is a fantasy novel. I expected so much more. More characterization, more world building, more rules to the magic system, more detail in general. The writing is the source of all of my problems. It’s the main hub and everything I mention after this just spirals from it.

2. These are cookie-cutter characters. There’s not a single unique one in this bunch. If you’ve read any mediocre YA book, then you’ve seen these characters before. They’re dull, they’re lifeless, they don’t have much going on beyond the surface level stuff.

3. All character voices sound exactly the same. The chapters are split between Zelie, Amari, and Inan, and if it wasn’t for their names being at the beginning of each chapter, I’d have no way of telling them apart.

4. The plot is painfully predictable. I saw every single major plot point coming from a mile away, and knowing how this story was going to go step by step for over 500 pages was absolute torture for me.

5. Dumb things happen to get the plot where the author wants it to go. As soon as a character would make a dumb decision, I knew what was coming. This ties back into point #4, but the fact that these decisions are so STUPID adds it as its own bullet point. Example: Zelie and her gang only have five days to get somewhere vitally important to their mission, but they stop to have a party. Because plot. And then the Bad Thing happens because they stayed. Oh no! Who could have seen this coming???

6. Character motivations and decisions make no sense whatsoever. Or they change constantly and are never explained in a way that’s believable or satisfying. That’s if they’re even explained at all. I have a ton of examples for this because it occurs all the time, but I’ll use the moment when Zelie has a chance to share the scroll’s magic and turn the people around her into maji. She thinks it’s the greatest idea ever until, uh oh, for some reason it’s not anymore and she doesn’t want to do it because magic is dangerous. But if you feel that way, Zelie, they why are you still trying to bring magic back to the whole world?

7. The “love” story. Oh my god, the “love” story. This might be the worst relationship like this I’ve ever had to experience in my life. It’s worse than any insta-love trash piles I’ve seen in the history of all terrible insta-love stories. It takes a less than a page. A page! This was the point in the book where I took the longest break in reading because I just couldn’t anymore.

8. Amari’s whole character introduction is extremely flawed. In her first chapter not only are we introduced to her, but we see her being spurred on by the death of her best friend and stealing the magic scroll. Amari is the epitome of what goes wrong when authors tell instead of show. First of all, I don’t know her as a character when she does all these things, so her decisions make no sense to me. And all this stuff about Binta should have been in separate chapters at the very beginning, that way I could actually see the relationship she and Amari had instead of just hearing about it afterward. That could have made Amari’s actions feel less fake when she steals the scroll. But no, all these memories of Binta happen after she’s dead, and I don’t feel the emotions the author wants me to feel since this is about some character I never even knew. And worse, Amari comes off as whiny because of it.

9. A majority of Amari’s chapters should have been given to Zelie. They’re together the entire time, and most of the time when Amari is narrating it feels like the reader is missing out on something. Especially when it comes to the magic and the mythology of this world. I don’t want Amari telling me these things because she doesn’t know anything to begin with. If Zelie had been narrating those chapters it would have been an easier way to work on defining this magic system.

10. For the first half of the book, Inan’s chapters should have been condensed down or just cut completely. He says the same thing every single time. “Duty before self. I force my magic down. Kill the girl, kill magic. Curse her and her silver eyes.” Nine chapters of this. So unnecessary.

11. The ending doesn’t make any sense at all if you take even one second to think about it. This is the only place I have spoilers so skip ahead if you don’t want to know how this story goes. So at the end when Zelie and her gang go to the magical island, Saran and his army are already there. But...how? It’s not said that Zelie gave him the location of the island. And even if she did, why would she not warn her allies that he’d be waiting for them when they got there? And on top of that, Saran managed to capture her father in less than a day and transport him to this island? How? HOW? Mama Agba should have seen that coming, no? But she’s mysteriously absent because...plot. Nothing clicks and it’s the final nail in this coffin for me.

I think the author had good intentions but she couldn’t execute. She talks about why she wrote this book and how seeing news about the murders of people like Mike Brown and Philando Castile made her feel angry and helpless. I absolutely applaud her for wanting to speak out against institutionalized racism and the murders of people of color at the hands of cops. And I’m glad that diversity is finally, finally getting into main stream books. It’s been too long and it’s great that books with POC characters are getting their time in the spotlight. But I’m not going to praise a mediocre book just because it has diversity and was written with good intentions. I’m not going to hype this up when I don’t think it deserves that hype.

-Review by C.M.

[scrambl3dbr6in5andc0ff33]

Shadow Work: Journal Prompts - 2/11

Do you see any of these qualities in yourself?

Perfect. 

I hate that word; more than any other word in the English language. The same goes for the old saying, “practice makes perfect”.

As a mother, I have spent the last 17 years telling my kids that there is no such thing as perfect. Perfect is an illusion. Perfect is unattainable. Expectations of perfection are insulting in, and of, themselves. Unreachable expectations of perfection can drive one insane, if they believe perfection can actually be achieved & then they, inevitably, are unable to do so.

I, am beautifully imperfect.

In PART ONE of this exercise, I discussed some of the qualities I find irritating in others. I still intend to come back and revisit PART ONE at some point; but for now, I will continue on.

The first of the three irritating qualities I mentioned was entitlement. 

Understanding how people can be so entitled has been a personal struggle of mine my whole life. I just don’t get it. How can one feel that they are owed something for nothing, or just simply for existing?

I.Don’t.Get.It.

I can honestly say that this is one trait I do not possess. I have worked hard for what I have. In some cases, I have fought many times over. I am BEYOND grateful for every day that I wake up. I am BEYOND grateful that I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a job that pays me decently & that I actually enjoy, & family that I love above all else.

I have had nothing. I have been nothing. I have been hungry. I have lived on the street with nowhere to go. I have been alone. I have been jobless.

Even then, I did not for one second believe I was owed anything.

Even then, I was grateful to wake up every day despite the misery I was waking up to.

The third quality I mentioned in PART ONE was a lack of compassion.

I know I keep saying that I don’t understand how people can be in possession of these traits, but it’s true. How can someone not have compassion? Especially in the world we live in today?

Throughout my life, I have been accused of being a softie. I care about people. I care about animals. I care.

It’s that simple, and that complex.

The mother who is waiting in line at the grocery store with a crying toddler? I can’t help but think of the anxiety she must be feeling, the shame of not being able to ‘control’ her wee one, embarrassment as she considers what others around her must be thinking; all of it. My heart will actually ache & all I want to do is give her a great big hug & tell her I understand, it’s ok, and that she’s doing the best she can.

The homeless man who sits outside my local Walmart with his loyal black Labrador in the cold of winter. I wonder what happened in his life to make him end up there? I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel to have to beg people for a few coins. He dotes on the dog, his constant companion. Every time I see him there, I give in to the urge to buy food for his beautiful dog & give him a little money so he can get himself something to eat. I always wish I could do more, but I try and fool myself into thinking what I can do will make a difference, at least for awhile.

I could provide more examples, but I don’t think that is the point of compassion, caring, kindness, or love.

The second item on my list in PART ONE is the item I chose for last in PART TWO because it is full of controversy: bigotry/racism/prejudice.

I do not consider myself a bigot, racist, homophobic, or prejudice. I consider myself LGBTQ+-friendly & a feminist.

But...

I don’t think there is a person alive who has not experienced moments where they have acted as though they are a bigot, racist, homophobic, etc. Not necessarily intentionally. A statement. A joke. Some comment about a particular stereotype. We’ve all done it; often without considering how it might make someone who might overhear feel like they are less than they are. Sometimes remembering immediately afterward that they shouldn’t have done or said that particular thing because it is just not right.

I wouldn’t be honest with myself, and you, dear reader, if I didn’t admit that I have done this before.

I try to do better. I try to learn from my mistakes. 

But, in the end...

...I am only human.

And...

I am imperfect.

***Just as I said with PART ONE, I will come back & re-visit this some day. For now, I am signing off.

Original Post with List

Part One

[fandomshatewomen]

(1/3) The whole "reylo is the only feminist star wars ship" thing reminds me a lot of the "actually stucky is feminist and steggy is a straight man's ship" posts that the stucky shippers were pushing post endgame. I know there's a lot of racism tied up with the reylos and finn and john that didn't exist between the stucky shippers and peggy and hayley (although there was some internalized misogyny for sure), and that stucky shippers did have homophobia to contend with (although it's hardly true

(2/3) that every queer mcu fan shipped stucky), so I don’t want to make a false equivalence, but the “this ship between two men/white people is the only feminist option and we’re the real defenders of this woman/black character that we’ve spent years ignoring, and the queer women/people of color who claim to be their fans are the real misogynists and homophobes/racists” is really familiar. It’s clear that co-opting feminism to make their preferred ship into the Only Right Option when people

(3/3) don’t get the ending they wanted is becoming a Thing that needs to stop, but I’m not really sure how to address it. Those fandoms also have the “if everything isn’t about this white male side character all time, it’s bad writing” problem in common, and that feels related as well.

Ok so this is a very complicated topic and I’ll preface itby saying two things first I’m not actually familiar with the argument that “Reylois the only feminist star wars ship” because thankfully my dash is filled withsensible people that don’t inundate me with faux feminist opinions that try torebrand an abusive ship into a feminist ship. Second racism actually plays a partin the stucky shippers too and I’ll demonstrate why in a bit.

For those of you reading this I will pretend this is the first time you’ve ever encountered the assertion that Reylo is abusive statement.  I’ll try to do this quickly but here goes.  Kylo starts off by literally torturing her and telling her he can take whatever he wants.  Invading not only her mind but initially hedoesn’t know she has the force. So its not a battle of equals we saw how easilyhe took what he wanted from Poe Dameron.  She does eventually get into his head but this is just the first encounter.  Then snoke bridges their minds together Kylo is constantly entering Rey’s mind telling her she’s nothing she comes from nothing he needs him to realize her full potential.  Mind you Kylo had years ofjedi training he probably knows someone bridged their minds together onpurpose. Rey is horrified this is the man who killed a good man his own fatherin cold blood and put her new friend in a coma. But Kylo keeps at her tellingher its inevitable that they’ll be together. (Some extra bits of fandom herethe Reylos are not shy with their fanon that Kylo/Ben was neglected as a childby his parents, which is completely a fabrication. They also say he’s beenbrainwashed which while confirmed by TROS that Palpatine was impersonating his Grandfather Darth Vader/Anakin this does not answer the why of the matter that if Finn, who was stolen from his parents, could fight the brainwashing why not Kylo? Another bit of contention I absolutely hated how they wrote Luke in TLJ and while I accepted it doesn’t explain why Kylo killed all the padawanlearners that didn’t join him.) TL:DR of this section: going back to Kylo’s abusive behavior, calling Rey nothing, invading her mind, insisting that she leave her new friends that care for her and support her to be with him is classic abusive behavior. Don’t believe me check out Lundy Buncroft.

Moving on how is stucky vs steggy racist?  Its quite simple really, in the fact that if anyone was written to be romantic interest for steve besides Peggy it was Samnot Tony, Natasha or Bucky. There’s a great meta post I’m not sure is on thisblog but it should be on mcufhpoc if you care to dig about how Sam was writtenas a love interest framed by the story in the winter soldier to perfectly setSteve up to be bisexual.  Now I have nothing against Bucky but Steve spent most of his time violently at odds with Bucky in the winter soldier and civil war. Not exactly what you would want from a ship. Why do you think so much Stucky fanfic is about preserum Steve/Bucky?  Gross implications about ableism aside it was for years the only way you could justify the ship.  The only other optionin canon was Sharon but frankly the writers of the mcu seemed to hate herreducing her role substantially from what was originally planned. There was allsorts of cries incest (when literally this is the same fandom that ships Thorkiabout two brothers who were raised as brothers except one of them happens to beadopted.  Like they can’t even get the definition of incest right Steve was dating Peggy not Peggy and Sharon.) Also he didn’t know they were related until years after he met Sharon. I’m only including this Sharon bit because it demonstrates so nicely the kind of internalized misogyny in display in this fandom. According to Stucky fans no woman is worthyof Steve only the white dude he grew up with and fought several times and btw they make the most sense when Steve is being cared for preserum/sarcasm. Which brings me to the other big Steve ship Stony. That’s a huge ship and they can barely stand each other in canon. 

TL;DR of this section its obvious from the numbers that Stucky and Stony are the only ships that matter the fandom only really wants is white dudeslash.

Btw its not actually feminist for so many straight women to ship dudes.  Gay men have been begging for straight women to listen to them about this for years. 

Last implicit question: What phenomenon is actually at work here if it doesn’t fit feminism because Reylo is abusive and Stucky just shows off the tip of the iceberg of internalized misogyny? 

Answer: Its white supremacy.

Which goes back to your statement of “Those fandoms also have the "if everything isn't about this white male side character all time, it's bad writing" problem in common, and that feels related as well.”

These fandoms and all fandoms really can only fathom fandom as yet another way of obsessing over white men. 

mod m

[tulips2kiss]

I’m just gonna c/p a thread I just posted to twt under a readmore because it’s infuriating and idk if yall have advice but I’ll take it if you got it. 

reminder for those who haven’t been w me for a long time that my mom was extremely emotionally abusive to me as a child, and well into my early 20s, and only recently started to be half decent to me. I’m living at home now because of the pandemic so that coupled with my trauma makes it really hard for me to have these conversations with her. I know I need to have these convos, not only from a human/ally standpoint but also from a future social worker standpoint. like it is legit my duty to be having these convos. but I also have to be cautious for the sake of my own mental health and fear of getting kicked out. so. just keep that in mind and I’m sorry if I’m not doing enough but I promise I’m pushing as much as I can while still taking care of myself idk THE GUILT ugh okay here 

it is fucking scary how out of touch my mom is.... a thread

the other day (probably about 2 weeks ago, a few days after george floyd’s death) we were talking about current events and she complained about looting and got frustrated and said "I just don't understand, they need to explain it to me, just explain it to me" but any time I tried to talk about it she would yell at me

the other day she finished a tv series and I told her she needs to watch 13th, she watched something else instead and now however many days later she says she watched it. so I asked her what she thought.

she said that there was a lot she didn't know but she didn't like how "all it did was complain" and I legit stopped in my tracks. what the fuck. I tell her "they didn't complain they informed on years of racism"

she back tracks saying "they just didn't tell us how to fix it. what's the answer" and I explain to her that we need to dismantle cops and prisons and rebuild them and she says "how" and I say "we just do it, that's how" she says "but HOW"

I say we release and give a clean record to everybody in there for petty shit. broken tails lights, marijuana, anything like that. I talk about how prisons are in other parts of the world, how they're more like institutionalized therapy, because mental health is huge

I talk about how it isn't just prisons, it's police, it's housing, it's capitalism, it's healthcare, it's so much more than just one thing and there is not one answer or one clear path but it's something we need to start asap. she's not happy.

"so if somebody stole your car you don't want them to go to jail?" she asks. her tone, her face, they all point to her stand point being "yes they should be jailed." I say no. she's livid. "WHAT IF THEY STOLE YOUR COMPUTER" still no I say.

"WHAT IF THEY STOLE YOUR IDENTITY" I explain that those instances are rarely ever a one off, and usually if somebody is doing that it's a big organized crime, and if that's the case then like ya some jail time makes sense. her body language tells me she's raging.

she's hunched over at the table but pointed at me, her hands are clenched, her eyebrows are angry. I finish making my boba which like I WAS MAKING THIS ENTIRE TIME MY GOD. she says she doesn't understand how there's so much crime

I tell her that there isn't that much crime, the prison system is disproportionately black people who took plea deals. I tell her to think about kalief browder from 13th. he didn't commit a crime, but he took that plea deal because he saw it as his only option, he didn't know

she says "well I didn't say black people" and I say "okay but I'M saying it's black people. yes there's white people in prison, a lot of them, but if you look at the population of WP/WP in jail vs BP/BP in jail it's way more BP. population wise it's huge" she's quiet.

I'm standing there stirring my boba for a while "how's your boba?" I tell her it's okay but not the same as in the store and leave. this woman boils my blood. she really says she watched 13th but she didn't absorb a second of it. she didn't learn.

I forget at what point but at one point I had to get loud and say "the other day you said 'somebody needs to explain it to me’ so that's what I'm trying to do so be quite and let me talk." she was quiet. because she started looking at her phone instead. actual child behavior.

I just wish she wouldn't fight. I know white people get defensive on this shit but it's so dumb. I've begged her to read the chapter on racism in my sw book, offered to read it w her. she's not interested. she'd rather live in her bubble than think and it just hurts man.

she says she wants to learn but she doesn't, her actions give the opposite message. idk what would make her learn or want to learn. maybe I'll ask her the next time we talk. like in what magical instance would you willingly and eagerly learn? I don't know if there is one....

[justjimedits]

PRINCE ESCALUS' WORDS I will never understand the minds of Teen Wolf Fandom.

I will never understand how the Teen Wolf fandom will call Gerard Argent punching Stiles in his basement torture but, with the same breath, call Stiles arranging Scott to get beat into the ground by three upperclassmen ‘teaching him control.’

I will never understand how the Teen Wolf fandom will call Scott manipulative for not getting up immediately after he was nearly suffocated to death by Victoria Argent, running to the Argent House, and telling Allison all about how Victoria was trying to kill him and that’s why Derek bit her, which happened, by the way, when Scott was unconscious, and that’s why Victoria killed herself, when he didn’t know about her death until Battlefield.    But Derek was just ‘doing his best’ when he neglected to tell his four bitten betas about the impending arrival of the Alpha Pack.

The Teen Wolf Fandom is more than the fanfics on AO3 you don’t like, more than the few people who don’t like your posts on Tumblr, more than the large Sterek shippers. You’re part of the Teen Wolf Fandom as well, PEW. But since I’m part of the few going against you, let’s focus on the rest. Stiles in the basement with Argent WAS torture because he was kidnapped and held there against his will. Two of his school friends were strung up and electrified as extra incentive and Stiles didn’t have the strength to go against Gerard when he was beaten up. Whereas the situation with Scott was happening outside, Scott wasn’t held down or had friends used against him, he had the freedom to run and he did have the strength to take down the three boys beating him if he wanted to. Scott had consented to it, it wasn’t torture at all. I also don’t think all of us claim Scott should have gotten up immediately after nearly dying to get to Allison and tell her about her mother. However, he had a lot of time to tell her after the funeral and such. Derek even was surprised Scott still hadn’t told Allison when they were at the vault, because Derek was hunted for it by Allison simply because Scott didn’t tell his girlfriend the truth for weeks. He was fine with Derek being blamed and hunted for saving his ass. Weeks, PEW. That’s what we’re upset about, not because he didn’t go to her immediately.  As for the alpha pack, I think Derek underestimated what they wanted of him, figured they’d test him or kill him, not wanting him to join. Nothing indicated that he knew it would turn out as it did, but yes, he did seem to know they were coming. _________________________________________________ I will never understand how the Teen Wolf fandom will believe, without question that Scott ditched Stiles for Allison, when it didn’t happen on the screen, but they could see the implications in other scenes, but they will absolutely swear up and down that Stiles didn’t know about Scott’s plan to switch out Gerard’s pills, because it didn’t happen on the screen, but anyone can see the implication that he knew in other scenes.

I will never understand how the Teen Wolf fandom will believe that Scott violated Derek’s autonomy with a thirty-second neck grab when Jackson’s claws were at Allison’s throat, yet when Derek deceives Scott about the cure, stands there and watches Peter violate Scott, and steps on Scott’s neck at the ice rink, with nary a gun to the head in sight, he did nothing wrong that might require comeuppance.  Derek was just ‘trying to help’ Scott.   __________________________________________________ I don’t feel like going through season 1 and 2 for all the scenes to point out where Scott ditched for Allison because DUDE, there are so many.  - When Derek and Stiles were in the pool, fighting for their lives, Scott hung up without even giving Stiles a chance to say anything and they nearly died because of it. - When Derek was shot, Scott took his sweet time getting the bullet, like hours of sweet time and hung up on Stiles repeatedly when he knew Derek was dying.  Already two scenes ON SCREEN where it happened, it wasn’t implied, PEW, it was shown. It’s actually one of Scott’s traits, the way he falls head over heels for his girlfriends and there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s a flaw to ditch your friends over a girl but it happens to a lot of people when they get in a relationship, it’s realistic.  As for the implication that Stiles knew about the pills, there aren’t any. Scott even said that he didn’t tell anybody about his plans after the fact so no, Stiles didn’t know. Only fault of Stiles and ALL that were there when Gerard was bitten, was the fact that nobody told Scott that what he did was so incredibly wrong. But that’s Teen Wolf for you, they glance over Non Con like it’s no big deal. So yes, Scott did violate Derek’s autonomy. Derek was injured/half paralyzed from the kanima, he was down on the ground, clutching at his wounds. He’s unable to stop Scott physically so he begs him not to do it, BEGS when Derek Hale doesn’t beg very often. Scott ignores him and uses his power to keep Derek on his knees and force his mouth open and holds him there so Gerard can shove his arm in his mouth. To Derek, the bite is a gift, he told Scott so, and Scott knowingly forced Derek to do something he didn’t want to do. That’s the definition of non consensual.  Derek didn’t deceive Scott about the cure, Derek told Scott and Stiles that it was just an old legend and that he didn’t know if it was true, they CHOSE to ignore it. And it isn’t a NON CON situation. The ice rink was also not a NON CON situation because they were in a fight, which Scott opted to get involved in because Derek was there for Boyd and Scott wasn’t invited. Not once does Scott beg Derek to stop, he demands Derek to not bite Boyd. They fight, Scott could have left as Derek gave him the choice and he got a werewolf slap on the wrist for his meddling. 

________________________________________________ I will never understand how Scott is the vilest of betrayers and the worst of friends for believing Theo’s story when Stiles has been lying to him for days, had been acting violent and paranoid, and had admitted liking killing and advocating murder for far longer; but Stiles is absolutely justified in attacking a half-dead Scott in the corridor because of something that Theo did and because Stiles didn’t know Scott was half dead. The double standards in their reactions to the show are so Brobdingnagian in their proportions, that I have to nearly swallow my tongue to get out  the words ‘it’s okay not to like Scott,’ but the slightest speculation that they react this way because of racist influences endemic in United States culture, specifically television culture, is met with pitchforks and bonfires.

But it’s not racism.   To them, it can’t be.  It just … kinda … happens.  They don’t like Scott because they don’t like Scott and shut up about examining the reasons behind it. _______________________________________________ Exactly, Stiles didn’t know Scott was injured (he wasn't half dead) when he attacked Scott in a flash of emotion because he thought he was about to lose the one parent he had left. How dare the human attack a werewolf, how dare he, the weak one to hit a wolf who won’t even bruise!  As for the racism, not going to get into that. You’re a white guy going out of his way screaming racism at every corner because you know racism will get you sympathy points, while most of the Tumblr people you go against have an Ethnic background. You know who my favorite character was of the show besides Derek and Stiles? Boyd. So no, I don’t dislike Scott for his ethnicity or skin color, I dislike Scott for being Scott. 

[aseahorsesinsight]

6/4/2020

As before, I have decided not to message this person again, though if this letter comes out right maybe I will DM it to them. 

I read your post. I understand your frustration. So let me explain my frustration. 

In times like now, people have several options including: speak out on police brutality, stay silent, post videos of good cops, etc. I deleted my last Facebook because I started too many “conversations’ trying to defend my humanity with white people. So understand why I don’t look for conversation. It is exhausting having to defend your humanity. It’s dehumanizing. It sucks everything out of you. You research and you type, diligently explaining your point and sending resources so they can understand. And they meet you with #alllivesmatter and one anecdotal story that they think disproves your entire point. So you research and type again, pleading with them to see your humanity...it never comes. 

I’m done. I’m done begging for (white) people to see my humanity.

In your original post you chose to say a few passive words about what happened to George Floyd was wrong, but the main message of the post was about how good cops matter. That your husband was a good first responder, that you cherish his life and service, and you hate see people call for the injury/death of first responders because of George Floyd. You hoped that in putting a face to people’s hatred you can change their mind and see that there are good cops, and good firefighters, and good medics, and good first responders out there. The issue I have with this statement you think you boldly posted, is that you never address the actual issue directly. 

You did not directly address that George Floyd was murdered. He was murdered because of the possibility that paid with a counterfeit bill. He was murdered while other “good cops” watched and let it happen. It took DAYS of protests to get the cop charged with murder, a murder that happened on FILM. It took an additional WEEK to charge the other men that were complicit in his murder. With your post, you rushed to defend your EMS husband and the violence against first responders, but didn’t talk about the original loss of life that started all of this. You reached to say all lives matter, but you barely gave your respects to George Floyd. If you truly believed that all lives matter, you should be the FIRST to agree that Black lives matter. If your truly agreed that all lives matter, you would be able to see the injustice the Black community faces and would use your platform to explicitly denounce it. 

Do you realize that if the cop that murdered George Floyd was immediately removed from duty without pay and had charges brought against him, we would be no where near the current situation? Do you know that if the police force immediately suspended the 3 additional cops that allowed George to be murdered, and brought charges against them, we would not have the destruction we have now? If other police units, when the news of Floyd broke, immediately released statements condemning the officer’s behavior and BACKED-UP that statement with immediately firing and bringing charges against  future officers who kill unarmed civilians, we would not be in this position. Police have arrested THOUSNADS of civilians in order to protect 4 corrupt cops. If we look at additional Black lives matter protests, TENS OF THOUSANDS of protestors have been arrested in order to protect cops that think murder is an okay course of action against people. And while Black lives matter chooses to highlight Black lives lost at the hands of police, bringing charges against cops who kill unarmed civilians would reduce ALL lives killed by cops, not just Black ones. So yes, Black lives matter focuses on Black lives but through this movement, all civilian lives benefit. 

The movement behind George Floyd was never just to arrest the 4 officers. The bigger issue has always been about ending police violence. I’ve known about this movement for about 6 or so years and the underlying message has always been “we must value Black lives by holding their murderers accountable”. This has mainly focused on police brutality since they are paid to protect and serve the community, but it extends to others as well. Why is it that Dylan Roof can murder 9 people in cold blood and he is arrested alive and treated to Burger King, but I am at risk of being shot because I want to buy a BB gun at Wal-mart? Why did the police wait 3 months to charge the men who murdered Ahmed Arbery, but I risk be shot on site for holding a cellphone in my back yard. White men shoot up schools and are labeled mentally ill (even given compassion) but there was no compassion for Tamir Rice who was shot within 2 seconds of the police arriving just because he was holding a toy gun. Breonna Taylor was shot while in her own home by police, yet those officers are not only still working BUT FILED CHARGES AGAINST HER PARTNER who fired once at the officers. If you walk into someone’s house in the dead of night, wearing regular clothes, and don’t identify yourselves as police officers, how the fuck are we to know you are officers? How can we blame them for protecting their home and loved ones? Isn’t this why the NRA promotes owning guns; to protect yourself, your family, and your property? Why are they so silent? And to make matters worse, that search never should have happened; THE SUSPECT THEY WERE LOOOKING FOR WAS ALREADY IN CUSTODY. Their negligence killed someone yet they face no repercussions. 

But you expect me to “have a conversation” about this when you have not used  your eyes and read these stories for yourself. You expect me to meet you halfway on an issue that is literally about not murdering people. You expect me to have compassion for you and your husband, yet you haven’t shown an ounce for black lives. Being Black is not a choice. Your husband chose his career path because he was called to it. The reward (serving his community) outweighed the risk. However, if at any point he felt unsafe, or that his life was in jeopardy at his job, he had the option to leave. He could choose to hang up the uniform and pick a career path that still served his community but in a safer fashion. I, in no way, have that option. There is NOTHING I can do to make my life safer. Beonna Taylor wasn’t a criminal, in fact she was a public servant saving lives during the Pandemic -- and she was shot in her own home. Tamir Rice was a child playing in a park. Johnathan Ferrell was involved in a car accident and was shot as he approached the officer for help. Ahmed Arbery was jogging. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. took to non-violent action to help the Black community and was assassinated. My skin color is viewed as a threat and the only way to fix that is to fight for justice. So forgive me if I lack empathy and compassion for first responders at a time like now. Maybe if they were held responsible for their actions, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in today. 

When I first read your post, I chose only to point out the racism behind all lives matter instead of posting why your post was truly problematic. But you want a discussion so let’s continue to pick it apart. Not only do you use the slogan All lives matter, you use a variation of “I’m colorblind/I don’t see color”, which is another racist microaggression against communities of color. Intentional or unintentional, “I don’t see color” means that you do not see me. I am Black. I will always be Black and Black will always be a part of my identity. And it is not bad to acknowledge that I am Black; acknowledging color does not make one racist. But when you seek to “remove color” you can conveniently overlook and dismiss the issues communities of color face because of their skin color. In the face of racism, you say “well I don’t see color so all your problems must be from something else”. The goal is NOT to be colorblind, but to recognize each race and work harder to remove and unlearn your innate biases to make all lives better.  The goal is to understand that you have learned biases because you live in a racist society, but to make the conscious effort to not let them impact your decision making and judgement. 

You also mention that you would “fight for me, my mom, and my sister” which is also problematic. Not that we don’t want you fighting for us, but your lack of interest in fighting for the whole Black community shows that you have separated my family from the rest of the Black Community. You view is as “good Blacks” and “different from other Black people”. If you cannot fight for the whole Black community, then you do not flight for me. 

You want a conversation yet refuse to admit your own racial biases as growing up White. That doesn’t mean you are a KKK member, flying the confederate flag and mounting photos of lynchings on your wall. It just means that you grew up in a system built for you to the detriment of Black people. If you want a conversation, you also have to meet me halfway, but based on your comment I can see you are not ready to confront that; I see that because when I commented the meaning behind all lives matter, you got defensive. I already gave you the opportunity for conversation when I made my comment. You just as easily could have said “you know, I knew the implications of all lives matter but still wanted it to mean something good for me. I had the best intentions using the phrase all lives matter but I understand your point. My intentions do not negate the phrase’s meaning, and that using it alienates the POC I am close to”. Instead, you got defensive and used your voice to project your shame. You felt my attack was me personally calling you a racist. I never called you a racist; I wanted to let you know that you were using a racist phrase. But a hit dog will holler, so you lashed out with hurt and anger because you thought someone called you racist. You were more mad at the possibility of being called racist instead of the fact that you used a racist phrase. Do you see how that is a problem?

I will have compassion for first responders when I start seeing tangible action. When videos of police beating protestors, tear gassing children, destroying medical supplies, and plowing cars through crowds cease. When the police show up in riot gear, I want them to remove the gear, place their weapons down, and march with us. I want them to refuse to uphold the unjust curfews. I want them to stop viewing the protestors as criminals. Your original post called for everyone to have compassion for and respect first responders, yet their actions show why they do not receive it. During the protests, they had every opportunity to show compassion. They could have let the protesters march peacefully on and worked to defuse and violent situations. Instead we see them line up 10 minutes before curfew starts, waiting for the opportunity to beat people. We are so quick to highlight “good cops” yet very few are condemning the actions of their fellow brothers and sisters. This is why people say “All cops are bastards”. They have corrupted their purpose of serving and protecting, and no amount of “good cops” can fix this. We must dismantle the system and start again. 

Notice how I never mentioned the rioting up until now. Because talking about the rioting is a deflection to paint Black people and those who join the protests as lawless and criminals. Most everyone knows that taking advantage of the unrest is selfish and that they should be removed from the area. But you know what’s worse - 400 years oppression. This is not because of a single injustice, but centuries. 

In this letter, I’ve said so much yet I don’t know if I’ve said enough. This is a complex issue with many facets, so if you read this and are still angry at my comment, I suggest you do more research. Research, and read, and watch documentaries, and talk to other POC from the theater community I once called home. Thousands of people are posting resources to help people understand the issues. You can’t claim to be an ally, without first understanding the problem. 

As I said in the beginning, I am not looking for conversation. With this letter, you can either accept it or not. You can choose to respond or not. You can choose to look at your innate biases or not. But I am done. With this letter, I am -- yet again -- begging for a white person to view and accept my humanity. I am reliving my traumas, researching, pouring my heart into my words, with the likelihood you will type back “I understand your point, but...”. I do not hate you... but I no longer trust you. I gave you a chance of reflection and you chose another path. Well I am choosing my path too. I am choosing justice. I am choosing to fight in the hope that black girls and boys NEVER have to beg a white person so see their humanity ever again. 

[mautadite]

january book round up

27 books this month! the most i’ve read in a month in quite some time, and a good start to the year. a couple days late because i’ve been feeling a bit meh. i doubt i’ll be able to read this much at any point this year. but it’s nice to get a good strong head-start on my yearly goal. a mix of audiobooks and e-books so far.

a land so wild - elyssa warkentin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really lovely epistolary/found media m/m romance story, set during the 1840s, about a ship captain and a naturalist trying to chart a northwest passage in the arctic, and find a ship that was lost five years ago trying to do the same thing. very beautifully told, with lots of emotion that you’d think would be lost because of the mode of storytelling.

how to bang a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a re-read. i remember being very sceptical of this when i first read it, but now that i’ve finished the entire series there’s so much i appreciate about it.

trade me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ my first courtney milan book, after hearing a lot of good things about her. the hype was deserved! i like her writing a lot and this book (a romance between a poor chinese-am daughter of immigrants, and a billionaire heir with an eating disorder) touched on a lot of stuff that you don’t typically see in romance novels. particular what it mean and what it feels like to be poor. this was probably my favourite treatment of billionaires in a novel (at least, ones where they don’t get beheaded).

hold me - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second in the series, equally enjoyable. the hero of this novel has to confront and own up to his sexism in ways that a lot of romance novels would simply let men get away with! if i’d known that that’s part of what the book covered i might not have been enthused to read it, because while i genuinely believe bigoted people can change for the better, i’m not super interested in reading about it. but i really enjoyed how milan wrote it, and the romance was lovely. (also the heroine is trans, nice.)

my lady’s lover - nicola davidson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ not a lot of substance, but it’s historical lesbian romance, which is my eternal catnip. a lady’s maid who’s the member of a society for sexual freedom falls in love with her mistress, and happily discovers that the feelings are returned. there’s sex, some angst, and a happy ending,

a lady’s desire - lily maxton ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another historical f/f romance. pretty low stakes, without much external conflict, but it had good writing and great characters, and i’ll always have a soft spot for childhood friends to lovers. and let’s be real: i mostly picked this up because of the cover. a woman with her head in another lady’s lap, gazing gayly at her? yes, thanks.

rebound remedy - christine d’abo ⭐️⭐️ eh! m/m holiday romance, about a guy who gets dumped before christmas, has a whirlwind rebound romance with his bartender, and then starts falling deeper for him. nothing bad about it, but i just wasn’t feeling the romance. i’ve read shorter stories that had more chemistry and character interaction.

don’t let go - cynthia dane ⭐️ another f/f romance that i got mostly because of the cover, but this one let me down hard. i liked that it was set in taiwan; had a lot of cultural nuance and tidbits that i enjoyed, but everything else, the writing, the editing, and characters, the chemistry... it was a bust. it also had a weird and baffling approach to mental illness, and managed to be yet another book that makes me hate rich people. also... the two authors credited are the pseudonyms of the same person skfjhdfkj ihni why she’s crediting herself twice.

alone - e.j. noyes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVED THIS. f/f mystery/thriller-ish romance, though the mystery aspect is admittedly light. noyes has lovely prose and a good sense of storytelling, but the romance is where this really shone for me. which... idk, i’m aware that it might not be for others who read this book. but something about the way olivia fell so helplessly in love with celeste, everything celeste does to hold on to olivia... it appealed to me on a visceral level.

boystown book 1 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ three short stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the community in the early 1980s. it reminded me of how much i love short form mysteries; there’s just something about stories being told that way that i can’t resist. i was also kind of charmed by the way our main character tripped into bed with a cute twink like every 10 pages. :3

poems i sleep next to - shelby eileen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a collection of contemporary poems. really enjoyable. nothing wowed me, but several poems moved me.

how to talk to nice english girls - gretchen evans ⭐️⭐️⭐️ early 20th century f/f romance between a spirited american heiress and a nice proper english girl. low stakes, character driven. not really character driven enough actually; i felt like they didn’t get to spend enough time knowing each other. and some more external conflict wouldn’t have hurt. but it was hot and fun and well-written.

by his rules - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an m/m romance that looks at abuse in bdsm communities, and spends a good long time on recovery, survival, and healthy relationships that involve kink. i really could not get into the discipline stuff, but i really liked that the main characters worked for their HEA; nothing clicked magically into placed for them, and aiden was given space and resources to work out his trauma.

the wolf and the girl - aster glenn gray ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a retelling of little red riding hood set in early 20th century russia and france that focuses on the friendship between two young women. simple story, very beautifully told.

the secret diaries of anne lister - anne lister ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i started reading this in the middle of last year, after i finished gentleman jack, and i was basically reading snippets at a time until december, and then by january i was eating it all up. i LOVED this. i loved the diary of this at times manipulative, haughty, but kind-hearted and tender and clever woman, and all of her loves and struggles and observations. there’s just something... very good about knowing and seeing that lesbians have always existed, and hearing her first hand accounts is just... GREAT. really looking forward to the next volume.

oh, earthman! - berlynn wohl ⭐️⭐️⭐️ an anthology of short stories. weird, fun, scifi-flavoured m/m erotica.

emma - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️ took me long enough, i know! but i really really thoroughly enjoyed my time with this book, especially the audiobook, whose narrator i loved. i loved emma: her cleverness and wit and finesse and all her terrible blunders. though i could tell where the story was going, the getting there was really fun, and i super duper enjoyed the romance (though at one point i got seriously squicked out haha). and fight me: i adored miss bates, i thought she was the best character in the book. LOVE a spinster who don’t know when to shut her trap but is earnest and kind and gentle-hearted and GOOD.

«légendaire.» - kai ashante wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ kaw, i’m begging you, PLEASE write another fell length novel. or novella. please! i love his writing and world-building so so so much, i flip out thinking about it. until he does, these short stories will have to suffice. this was great: everything i love about his writing, revisiting the world and concepts that we’ve seen in his other books, with mesmerising characters and a tragic, but soulful tale.

a conspiracy of truths - alexandra rowland ⭐️⭐️⭐️ i love stories about stories, and as far as that goes, this a pretty good one! the one way it failed to grasp me was on the character front; i just didn’t enjoy the main character as much as i could, or as much as i was meant to, and i felt at times he was too far removed from the plot. basically, chant is a master storyteller travelling in a foreign land, when he’s falsely accused of witchcraft and spying. the novel details how he uses storytelling to get himself out of the pickle, and all the consequences that follow. there are some amazing side characters in this (esp. his apprentice, who i will definitely read the nest book for).

animal farm - george orwell ⭐️⭐️⭐️ felt like rereading this, so i did. and i mean, it’s animal farm! it holds up.

the overdue life of any byler - kelly harms ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ like i said above, i like books about books, and i got this thinking it would be something like that? but it’s more about a single mother who gets the chance to take some time off from her kids and her life, have fun, find romance, and how she deals with managing that, and the guilt, and all the elements that are introduced/reintroduced to her life. i don’t think this is an amazing book, but it’s a lovely one, and i know there are middle aged mothers out there who would benefit from reading it. it’s not about romance (though there’s a cute romance in it); it’s about motherhood and being there for yourself as much as your kids.

the subs club 1&2 - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the first two books in an m/m romance series. a group of friends is still reeling after one of them dies at the hands of an irresponsible dom. they decide to form the subs club; a website to review and rate doms, with an eye towards making the community safer for subs, though it doesn’t really work out that way. the first book follows dave, who ends up getting involved with a guy who’s eerily like ron swanson from parks and rec, and the second follows miles, a masochist who gets involved with a guy who likes to pretend to be a vampire (lmao??). i have to tip my hat to j.a. rock, who seems to have a knack for getting me to read things i’d be otherwise sure i wouldn’t be interested in. and i mean, even after reading, i’m pretty sure i don’t want to read other books about domestic discipline or s&m or pretend draculas, but her characters and plots are well written and engaging and i had a really good time. although, i have to mention: the second book dealt with internalised racism in a way that... while well meaning, was definitely not very deftly done.

alice & jean - lily hammond ⭐️⭐️⭐️ post wwii f/f romance set in new zealand. a young widowed mother falls for the dashing woman who delivers her milk every morning. they have to contend with community scrutiny, an old friend of alice’s husband, and her bitter old mother to fight their way to happiness. i enjoyed it; it was simple and the romance was incredibly sweet, though the writing did drag at times.

american dreamer - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DELIGHTFUL. the very definition of feel good romance! a young dominican-american man moves to the outskirts of new york to start his food truck, and almost immediately meets a cute librarian who turns his head. i flipping love queer romances with characters from the caribbean; it just feels so good when slang is part of the language of love.

minotaur - j.a. rock ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ i read four books by this author this month, and this is hands down my favourite. i don’t know man, combine girls and monsters and lesbian romance and i”M THERE. thera is a teen orphan sent to a home for girls at the edge of town. there, she makes friends, raises hell, falls in love with the mysterious new girl, and also becomes obsessed with stories of the minotaur, half woman half monster, locked the labyrinth in a cliff not far away. this story appealed to me in so many ways, and i really hope the author writes more f/f in the future.

two dads and three girls - nick (yu) he ⭐️⭐️⭐️ the autobiography of a gay man growing up in china, and the story of how he finds himself, finds love, and becomes a father. very sweet.

whew. that took me a while lol. that’s it for january. i probably (hopefully) will be too busy to read as much this month, but i have some interesting books on my plate. currently listening to an audiobook of beneath a scarlet sky, which is unfortunately underwhelming, and i’ll probably move on with some fun YA.