#being like they're all gonna think im unprofessional

[cult-of-the-eye]

Jon was definitely a terrible handwriting kid who would look at the other kids and wonder when his handwriting would magically be neat like theirs and Martin was a round neat little letters, first to get his pen license kid

[guinevereslancelot]

decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy

[pawl3ss]

I came here to be a hater and hate on the minecraft movie trailer.

Get ready because this is probably the longest and the most autistic post ive made so far

I wont talk about the weird cgi and how unprofessional it looks but about how inaccurate the trailer is because it pisses me off and I have to be a nerd about it <3

ALSO IM NOT SURE IF TUMBLR WILL LET ME POST ALL OF THIS IN ONE POST so if it doesnt ill reblog with the rest <:3

first of all, those are NOT minecraft mountains.

Yes such seeds exist and you can find smt like that super easily in the game but it does NOT look so blocky

It should be a bit more smooth like here ⬆️

Next, what the fuck happened to the flowers.

Alot of the plants, trees, etc look like a disrespectful rip off of minecraft

Talking about plants, the trees are a big wtf

On the first pic you can see the log is SO THIN. LIKE THINNER THAN A TOOTHPICK. In the second you can see it is thicker, but because the block that fell out is so Itty bitty, you have to make the tree thinner.

The tree is as wide as the players, and when the block falls out its bigger than whatever the fuck this is. Yes I understand they have to carry the blocks and they can't make it too big, but you know what's a good solution? - make the blocks bigger when they fall out, but make them shrink when they get close/get put into a chest or inventory. SO EASY

Also I know you can find pink sheep naturally in the game, but oh come on.

You want to show how sPeCiAl the characters are and that they're sOoOoOo special they found a pink sheep on their spawn but oh my God you could have just let it be a normal sheep.

We stay with animals, and WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POOR WOLF. THE SNATCHED WAIST???? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM ☹️

and why is the creeper so, fluffy. Creepers are NOT made out of fur they are made of what alot of minecraft players suspect rotten skin like zombies or a skin-alike material, but it is NOT fur.

Also, *wrong buzzer sound* llamas don’t just spawn naturally. Unless theres a wandering trader (or however theyre called in english) they aren’t able to spawn just like that. They also usually have the carpet on their back.

EDIT: TURNS OUT THEY DO SPAWN NATURALLY IN MOUNTAIN BIOMES. still the Llama being here looks like they just put her there to try and "be funny" ykwim?

I also wanted to also say, this one character I feel that they're gonna be the most stereotypical, annoying one out of the whole movie and my ears hurt just looking at them

I wanted to say that the portal shouldn't be blue but like. Only the nether portal is purple, it's unknown how other portals look so... yeah

But still wtf is this cube??? What's the fuck are you holding young man???

Also, talking about mobs, piglins dont look like that, they dont have red light in their eyes, they dont have those drum-things because THEY DONT EVEN EXIST IN MINECRAFT which i will get to latur. They aren’t able to build like that, they aren’t able to get wood for trapdoors and for the fences and iron for the chains. Also they do not even know how to craft, they probably domt even know what a crafting table is. And ghasts also aren’t able to be in the overworld. I understand that theyre invading the land ans taking over but still Like Cmon >:(

I also wanted to say that this is not how nether looks but like. It does a bit, like where the piglins usually spawn ykwim? so ill give them that, the nether looks alr

Anyway TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT DONT EXIST IN MINECRAFT: whatever this is, it isnt craftable in minecraft, unless there are mods installed. But the „mods” excuse can be used for everything in this post. It was the first thing i saw that pissed me off so badly that i had to make this post because like JUST USE ALL THE STUFF THAT THE ORIGINAL FRANCHISE HAS TO OFFER! NORMAL BUCKETS WOULD PROBABLY WORK JUST FINE!

Last but not least, if you think those two are the same character ive got some bad news for you buddy.

At least dye his beard brown. At least get the colours right. Please.

I think i mentioned everything i wanted. Lets hope the movie will get fixed or will turn out to be at least a bit better.

Thank you for letting me get nerdy about it <3

[tachimichishrine]

Q6yuquqjq YOU'RE LIKE THE PERFECT TACHIHARA FANFIC Y/N WRITER I FUCKING LOVE YOU MATE❤️❤️❤️❤️ I have one silly offer, and ofc ofc I'll wait my sweet time for u to drop it (probably wait for decades like I'm so invested). Can you do some...fluff like the reader is so inlove and has been dropping hints to tachi. He knows but he wants the reader to say it to his face instead of hints.with the silly lines "I ain't a patient man, say it to my face" QJKSJSJS IDK HOW TO WORD IT BUT U CAN DO IT!!!!

<QIUQ8UE8U2WE (i'm the only tachihara fanfic writer sooo,,,)(unless i'm not...)(if there's someone else who writes for him pls tag me im desperate....) BUT RAH I FKIN LOVE YOU MORE YOU SEXY AHH ANON,, your offer is not silly it is majestically ethereal it deserves to be framed and hung in the louvre it belongs on a higher plane of existence... im so sorry it's short BUT URGH THE IDEA IS SO GOOD >

"impatient"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! jouno's sister! reader

warnings: none! take the fluff and frustrated tachi and flustered reader! (obviously some mild cursing and intended lowercase >///<)

it was a mistake, a terrible mistake that led to this.

"listen up, you bitch," tachihara seethed, pressing the tip of the gun against her temple, "this is our turf and you have no business being here."

"look sweetheart, this is all a misunderstanding," she said coolly, despite her heart pounding in her chest and the cold metal wrapped around her wrists.

and she wasn't lying. the series of events that led to her being tied to a metal chair somewhere in the port mafia's infinite supply of basements were peculiar, difficult to explain to the man who was threatening her life.

"any chance I could explain this all over some drinks?" she suggested with a chuckle before he dragged the gun down to her neck and pushed it up under her chin. "sheesh, okay, I guess not."

"having fun now, aren't we?" he nearly spat in her face, looking disgusted. "let's see how much you laugh when I put a hole in every one of your limbs-"

she shushed him then spoke in a whisper. "I think they're gone now, you can lay off the act."

tachihara sighed out of relief and moved to take the cuffs off of the detained woman.

"you're a real pain in my ass, you know that?" he whispered back, watching her get up and stretch her limbs. "I told you not to show up here."

"I'm sorry, I got carried away! I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hi... never thought you'd have another mafioso with you."

"you're gonna blow my cover," he said plainly, earning a pout.

their relationship was complicated.

jouno [_____], executive at the most notorious criminal organization in yokosuka, a city south of yokohoma, who still traveled back and forth for some occasional business. her current position was formerly filled by her brother saigiku, who left the underground in order to join the hunting dogs.

she, on the other hand, stuck the criminal route and even maintained contact with her sibling throughout the 6 years without ever switching sides. he never spoke about her to his colleagues except for a single grumble under his breath on one occasion where teruko was out of control, saying she was acting just like "his delinquent sister".

the matter was laid to rest until the first day of tachihara's infiltration into the port mafia. supposedly, since he had no street credit and would look extremely suspicious, she was his ticket in. she wasn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart (she was paid by the hunting dogs after being recommended by her brother), and yet tachihara found that she'd taken less than a week to get him accustomed to the underground life and put in a good word for him with the port mafia. she acted somewhat unprofessional at times, but there was no denying that she was good.

a little too good at times.

he was given impossible missions, to begin. the kind of things that set you up for failure unless you were a prodigy or had insane connections, missions hand-delivered by mori or any executive to test the new recruit. the first time, he was supposed to go and threaten the foreigners that had settled in on the edge of town and gotten themselves too comfortable with yokohoma. he relayed the information back to the hunting dogs, and jouno happened to mention it over the phone to his sister. she jumped in, ready to intervene before tachihara went in guns blazing and found himself confronting the notorious bulletproof brothers of brazil. she even told him where to buy knockout gas and gave him the rundown of the crime groups of the region.

once he got more familiar with his environment, she was needed less and yet contacted him at the same frequency. sometimes it was for essential information, other times it was for "company", as she put it. the ambiguity made it so that he didn't have any other choice but to respond to all of her calls.

tonight, she was in yokohoma for some business and decided to pop by and say hi. unfortunately, she did so right as he was having a chat with chuuya and they were caught in a peculiar situation. they played along, her pretending to be caught and him pretending to not know who she was while the executive spat in her face and asked what she was doing in this part of yokohoma. tachihara took charge of the situation and promised to find out, which led to them both roleplaying in the basement of the port mafia.

"oh, come on, you're gonna be fineeee," she tapped the tip of his nose, giggling without a care in the world. "chuuya knows I travel 'round these areas, and he's gonna catch wind of the deal I just closed earlier tonight, too. just tell him that and all's well. cheer up, tachihara, it's the underground. no one cares that much here."

he grumbled some kind of confirmation and watched as she held his hand and they both turned to human vapor. his consciousness paused momentarily and he came to a few streets down, wobbly on his feet as if his muscles were liquified.

"what the fuck, I didn't say—"

she shushed his protest, nodding her head to the motorcycle parked in front of them. "oh come on, stop complainin'. I'd ask you for drinks but most of the shops 'round here are mafia-owned and you'd be paranoid about gettin' caught, right? so hop on, I'll take ya to the other side of town, but you're paying, got it?"

"shit, you're gonna get me—"

"drunk. now hop on, pretty boy, we've got places to be."

he complied with a roll of his eyes, mildly pissed but unable not to reflect back the playful attitude she was giving him.

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the ride was rather long, but damn him if he complained.

she had her body leaning around the tank, legs constantly at work shifting gears and shifting their weight as the motorcycle sped up drastically. she didn't offer him a helmet, not even a jacket of any sorts, since she'd never crashed before. she whispered, "hold on, even if we're about to crash, and you'll be fine," and he didn't have any room to complain or ask questions.

her ability to turn herself and any objects directly in contact with her skin into vapor greatly resembled her brother's, but proved so useful in the sense that she could control herself in a gaseous state, floating around a room and gathering intel almost completely invisible, which made her such an effective executive. tachihara put two and two together and figured she'd evaporate both him and the bike if anything went south.

nothing went wrong. in fact, the fear for his life got him wrapping his hands around her waist and burying his face in her back. when he loosened up, she would do a dangerous maneuver and his grip would tighten once again as she laughed maniacally.

she laughed about it some more when they were finally inside the lounge owned by her own organization, sitting in a booth in the corner so that it was unlikely anyone would notice them— even if they did, she had the kind of authority that made it feel incredibly dangerous to even think about tattletalling. apparently, the sadism ran in the family.

"you really freaked out when I swerved around that huge truck," she giggled, taking a sip out of her mystery drink and sliding the glass over to him. "want a sip?"

"what is it?" he questioned, still drinking without waiting for her to respond. his face scrunched up in disgust and he pushed it back. "yurk, what is that? can't believe you drink that shit voluntarily."

"hey, it's my favourite flavour!" she frowned and punched his shoulder. "I'll tell them to charge you double for everything 'cause you deserve it."

"isn't everything we order free? I mean, since you practically own the shop, that's what the guy at the front told you."

"shut up, I'm trying to make a point."

the evening was quiet, almost no one around except the two of them. she asked how her brother had been, and he asked the same thing since he hadn't spoken to his coworkers in quite some time. she gave him more details on things he needed to watch out for, and then listened to his updates with enough attention that neither of them noticed her body gravitating towards his. by the time it was too early in the morning and the place was closing, their shoulders were practically rubbing and she was close enough to kiss him.

it was all she ever thought of. she lied to herself, said she was checking out the bandage on his nose and her gaze just dropped down to his lips while he spoke. staring long enough for him to notice - that was the plan - except he didn't seem to notice at all, or at least he pretended not to. laughing loudly at every semi-funny joke he made, distractedly taking her bottom lip in between her teeth, tilting her head when he spoke; she was running out of hints to drop. the only other thing she could think of was carving "I love you" into her forehead and praying he doesn't spontaneously go blind.

how dense can a man be?

she had a driver drop him off back in yokohoma; her heart ached when she waved him goodbye and goodnight.

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she couldn't stop thinking about him, day and night, and it was getting out of control. she would zone out in the middle of meetings and her colleagues were noticing. she explained that it was just some personal stuff, not that her chest felt hollow whenever she thought about him, not that she was catching herself thinking of gifts to get him, not that she was atrociously in love with him.

months, she spent months trying to drop hints. she had felt like she might accidentally evaporate when she had called him "pretty boy" for the first time, but he shrugged it off as if she hadn't said anything. once she got comfortable with that, she got touchy, and still no reaction. over the past week, she texted and called him nearly every night and even fell asleep on call on a few occasions. she checked the call log and he hung up nearly an hour after she drifted off, long enough to signal that he was listening to her snore softly but not long enough that he could've fallen asleep accidentally as well.

she kept losing hope as she thought about it, then regaining the confidence after seeing him again. it was getting unbearable.

"saigiku, I'm losing my mind," she said, sitting down at a bench on the pier. her legs kicked back and forth, and she sighed into the phone. "I don't understand guys. help me out here."

"ugh, don't you have girlfriends to talk about this shit with?" he groaned in annoyance on the other end. "I don't know. men are stupid. hope that helps."

she mimicked him. "thanks bro, you're tons of help."

"well, you won't tell me anything about the guy so I don't know what you want from me. either suck it up and say it to him or move on."

his advice wasn't bad, but it was simultaneously obvious that he couldn't care less. she rolled her eyes and changed the topic, instead listening for what felt like hours while he ranted about his dumb colleague. she wondered whether the jounos were really just bad at understanding people.

once the call was over, she took a deep breath of the ocean breeze and closed her eyes. nearly falling asleep on the bench, she was roused by her name being called out, a familiar voice.

"hey, tachihara," she smiled softly at him, seemingly exhausted (from all the nights spent rolling over in bed, thinking about him).

"you said you had intel?" he takes a seat next to her, trying to play it cool in case they were spotted, despite the light fog and the lack of anyone being out this late at night.

nodding, she handed over a folder filled with the information she collected about the next inspectors in yokohoma, the ones who were going to try to naively take down the port mafia and ultimately fail.

"they have a few operations going on, one about your buddy hirotsu. they might start digging into you too, and you don't want them finding out. deal with them as if them finding your identity was a death sentence, because it might as well be."

the information was true, but nothing in the folder was important. she just wanted to see him again.

"so..." he leafed through the papers, "anything I need to look out for?"

the millions of hints I keep dropping you.

"nothing particular, I think. they'll probably aim for more important mafia figures, so you'll be glossed over as a new recruit. someone experienced will likely take care of them before you need to."

"okay, thanks," he made the motion to get up, but stopped himself. "...are you in yokohoma for long?"

"just the night, my driver's picking me up in a few hours," she smiled reassuringly at him. "why?"

"huh? no reason, just wonderin'." he got up this time and nodded at her. "thanks for the drop, you didn't hafta do that."

I'm in love with you, you fool, of course I did.

"oh, it's not a big deal. anything for a friend."

more than a friend. fuck, you look gorgeous in the moonlight.

she caught herself watching his back as he walked away. her hand reached out, as if to physically catch him as he slipped away, then she cursed herself.

"hey, tachihara? are you in a rush to go anywhere?"

he turned around and shot up a brow. her smirk felt genuine.

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the idea was stupid, to combine both of their abilities together to try to get the best view of the night sky. no city light in their way as they stood a few hundred meters from the ground. she beat up the metal roof of a small car and pulled it off so that they could place it on the ground. they both sat down on top of it, one of her hands holding him while the other's palm flattened out on the sheet of metal. evaporating; within seconds, they were among the clouds. she warped them back and he activated his ability to carry both of their weights.

suspended in the sky, suspended in time.

"never seen the stars this clearly before," she murmured, feet dangling over the edge as she laid down. "living in the city really takes away from the small things, doesn't it?"

"guess so," he said, doing the same as she did.

silence. nothing except the breeze and the frigid air and their breathing.

"the stars are beautiful," she said, dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

"yeah," he responded simply.

more silence. she could've sworn he could hear her heart pounding.

"...is it heavy to hold both of us up?"

"not really."

it was getting painful.

"shit, it's cold up here."

"uh huh."

she wasn't lying, it really was cold. but at least the numbness in her fingers took over for the numbness in her mind.

"should we head down?"

"sure."

she held onto the plate, then reached for his hand. she hesitated. it felt like she was always making the first move, always trying to do something, and now it was feeling all wrong. she just wanted him to confirm anything, tell her anything, anything at all.

she got over herself, took his frozen hand in hers and brought them back down.

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she took her brother's advice and got over herself.

of course, she still filled him in on anything he needed to know and she occasionally tried to talk with him, but it was as if he was purposefully avoiding not only her hints, but anything at all that she did.

so, she was quite surprised when she found that he'd left her a message telling her to show up at a bar in between the two cities that evening.

her leg bounced uneasily while she sat at a table, drinks already ordered but her glass toyed with between her fingers while she waited. thankfully, it wasn't long before he arrived, amber eyes catching hers from across the room.

"hey," she smiled, trying to repress the butterflies and keep a level head. "what did you— huh?!"

tachihara had grabbed her arm with a tight grip, firmly pulling her up to her feet as she complied, confused.

"ow, lay off my arm— I'll follow you but where the fuck are we going? I ordered drinks, y'know, feels like a waste..."

"will you shut the actual fuck up?" he interrupted again, now pulling her outside of the bar completely and pushing her against the wall. "are you fucking stupid?"

"what the hell? what's wrong with you, tachiha-"

"I'd ask you the same thing. look, I'm not dumb. I can practically feel your heart beating out of your chest right now."

"wha-"

"look, I ain't a patient man. just say it to my face."

it took his stern expression, the way he was almost trapping her against the brick wall of the building and looking as serious as she'd ever seen him to realize that they were both thinking the same thing.

"what, do you wanna hear that I like you? you're gonna make me sound like a lovesick schoolgirl," she chuckled, using humour to envelope her confession so that whatever came next would hurt less. or so, she hoped.

"not good enough."

she narrowed her eyes at him. "the fuck do you mean, not good enough? I've been trying to drop you hints for the past century and your dense ass wasn't having it, all of a sudden you're acting distant, then you're pulling me out of a bar and asking me to confess to you? fine, you wanna hear about how fucking stupid I am around you? you wanna hear how I read over every message you've ever sent me before I go to sleep, how I can't do shit without seeing something that reminds me of you, how I feel like I'm going to combust into a thousand fucking pieces whenever I see you smile at one of my lame jokes? you wanna hear about every time I told myself I'd say something and then I back out of it? you wanna—"

she stopped talking as soon as his hand wrapped around her neck, fingertips intertwined with her hair and thumbs running upwards along her ears so he had a good enough hold to pull her into his lips.

maybe it was everything she'd ever imagined, or maybe it wasn't. who cares. he was kissing her.

she didn't know what to do, how to kiss him back when he was pressing into her like he wanted this as badly as she did. her body went along with his, allowing him to push her harder against the wall and kiss her deeper. it didn't end, her lips opening up and panting softly into his mouth while his tongue took over. he drew pictures of her into the roof of her mouth, and she was drunk on his spit by the time he pulled away.

"fucking finally," he breathed out, chest rising and falling against hers.

"I'm so goddamn confused," she giggled back, "not that I'm complaining."

"you didn't just drop hints, you threw them at my fuckin' face, [_____]. I was waiting for you to make the first move and you didn't, so I tried somethin' else to see if you'd get sick and tired and finally say it. but you didn't, and I wasn't gonna wait any longer."

"you could've just asked me first, you dipshit."

he grinned that stupid, smug grin she couldn't get over. "yeah, but then I wouldn't have heard your little speech there."

"oh, fuck you." her words didn't match her actions, grabbing handfuls of his jacket and pulling him in for another kiss.

for an impatient man, he felt like he waited his whole life for this moment.

[ladyryukyo]

Hello, I hope work is going ok

Haha, I also hope this is somewhat coherent, but I am very bad at assembling my thoughts into something that resembles a narative, but here are some thoughts that has been carouseling my mind:

Recently, I have been thinking abou beyblade fantasy AU's: A grant adventure, a world fractured into many fighting factions (some human, some elven, some with magic powers and so on), soon to be overshadowed by The Great Dark Lord Nemesis™️

The legendary bladers are propheciesed to save the world, and as of now most of them traveling together on some great mission to raise an army to defeat Nemesis or smth (everyone except Ryuga? Have a very hard time imagining him going anywhere with anyone). However the legendary bladers are NOT a cohesive unit, they are from different factions and have a hard time trusting each other 😔 </3

Along with this, I've been thinking a lot about armor: how to make it functional and actually protective, while still evoking the feel of the bladers original outfit... (ok actually I've mostly I have been thinking about how to make armor, that looks like a crop top with a big billowy coat for Kyoya, but at the same time actually protect his vital organs)

My solution for now is probably layering some chain mail under some cut up shirts, but then I ran into my second problem: that much armor is heavy, noisy and warm (since you'd also need layers beneath the chain mail), would an adventurer even wear that much armor on a day to day basis?... So now I am trying to come with a way to balance that out... (Actually after writing it down tho, Kyoya specifically would absolutely see wearing heavy armor as a great training exercise...)

Also bc Kyoya gets special treatment as my favorite character, and I think he could use more "great-destiny-I-didn't-pick-and-thus-don't-want" issues: Mayhap his mother is the heiress to one faction, but she was driven away by an usurper, who is now out to kill her and her descendents? (No scars from *accidently* falling windows in this AU)... (Also maybe the usurper is paying Chris to take care of her descendents?)

Aaaahhh anyways thanks for reading all of my ramblings <3

henning i can always count on you tysm for sharing your ramblings w me <33

fantasy au my beloved!! the idea of the legendary bladers roaming around the lands and trying to rally an army while constantly bickering with each other is so funny. i have to agree that ryuga probably wouldn't travel with them but! imagine the kenta & ryuga interactions in this scenario :(( kenta tries to learn magic from ryuga who is so so good at it but unwilling (and without the patience lbh) to teach. kenta just stares at him really hard and tries to learn by observing ryuga do impossible feats of magic. ryuga acts annoyed but he also loves the attention lol

plsss kyoya in fantasy armor is simply amazing and badass. id love to see it. i know its impractical but i do imagine him in a chainmail crop top or something similarly unnecessary but stylish. anything for the glam. could also imagine some kind of corset top-like leather armor? i think leather armor would be the go-to for adventurers anyway.

kyoya is the perfect protagonist for a "refusal of the call" trope lmao. it would be a "fuck this, im gonna do my own thing" situation with him. every. time. "i don't care that you're a god or fate or whatever and you can't tell me what to do."

d-did you just make kyoya/chris possible in this au?? FJFDHSSJS maybe it's just my permanent brainrot for this ship but! chris keeps failing to assassinate kyoya but he's come close a couple of times and also kyoya's scars being a result of one of chris' assassination attempts and also they know each other by now after all this time and they probably keep bickering while trying to kill each other which is so unprofessional but it's almost like they're friends and do they really actually truly want to harm each other at all at this point?

... im blaming you for this tangent lol thank you henning i truly appreciate this <3 love you

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e6 episode reaction (the last one 😭)

I'm gonna miss this I'm so emo

ok let's go

simon's shaky eyelid I'm gonna rip my foot off

"it feels like you two are never truly over" SPEAK ON IT FELICE

wille's voice breaking I'm gonna start fucking sobbing

"I have to take responsibility for my own problems, I can't drag him down with me" bro I'm gonna kill myself

fuck I can't believe that's the last title

I'm gonna start sobbing ohohoho

he's gonna skip??? when has simon ever skipped in the whole series?

oh sara baby no

MICKE????? YOU RAT

oh, just the car

sure give them the car. that makes up for all the years of abuse. totally.

this conversation is so important help me

"see? she'll be fine" god I hope she will be fine

oh my they look all so nice in the sunlight. wille w the sunglasses. love the look

OH HE'S ASKING ABOUT SIMON STOP IT

haha yea called it

but why tell them like that? like why not call for a full student meeting and tell everyone? so unprofessional

if vincent doesn't Shut the FUCK Up oh my god

if he talked to me like that I'd be throwing fists on fucking god

also stella and fredrika need to calm the fuck down. go to new york then assholes

AUGUST?????

this man cannot be serious. sobbing like that over a school. be so for real. go hate crime someone if you're so upset. fuck

NILS VINCENT AND AUGUST HUGGING WTF

god that's so heartbreaking

fuck them rich kids but that's so heartbreaking

that's so weird. thinking abt simon moving away. it doesn't feel nice.

also rosh and ayub in full panic mode @ simon moving away... not great

NORWAY????

kristina's gonna croak isn't she

NOT THE BOOK OH MY GODJJGLDJFLDKG

chorrito pa las animas aaayyyyyyyyy

NOT NILS AND VINCENT GIVING AUGUST THEIR CONDOLENCES ABT HIM BEING THE SPARE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that's goddamn hilarious

"you wanna be close to the royals, you don't wanna be one" "which is great for us actually" I can't stop fucking laughing jflsfjlsjflskf

SCREAMS OH GOD

oh god

"I feel empty. and scared" wonderful I love this honesty let's keep it going

oh tgjslfkslf HENRY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

sure, talk abt the booze and the drugs, that sure will make simon want to come to the party

NOT DOING SHOTS WITH THE HOUSEMASTER I'M GODKGKDLGJDLSKSFKDLFJ

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYKGKGKFLGKDLGK

baby worm wille is my fav wille

I'VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE /WHAT/

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT WILHELM/

WHAT THE FUCKFJGKFKFLFKFLFKFLFK

OHMTOG

oh also he acknowledges he's gonna send krissy to an early grave. committing regicide is so based.

anyway LOVE OF MY LIFE?????????

does this track for an endgame or no?

oh god

FOR YOU

PARTY PRIIIIINCE LMAO

oh my god

MALIN????

JSKFJSKFKDGKDKGKKDKGKF

that was some king shit

"and I know erik did worse things in his day" understatement of the century

HE INVITED MALIN AND JOAKIM IM LOSING MY WHOLE DAMN MIND

JSKDKSKFKDLGIFLGKDLGKDLGKDLGKDLGK

king wilhelm fr

they're all so cute

seriously rosh and ayub are damn good friends

HE'S GOT THE FAKE GRASS IN HIS HAND

NOT REVOLUTION IM GON A LILLNYSLEFBFLGKDLFKD

ICANTKDL DELSIRBWIT TTJID

FUXIKC

they brought rosh and ayub I'm gonna cry

do you think rosh and stella are gonna kiss

oh

august looks like a mafia boss

WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR

oh. yeah. that was shitty. I also feel a lot of sympathy for that

oh fuck me I'm watching this in the train

"you know erik loved you more than anything else? the video with you two guys. it wouldn't have meant a thing"

I'm trying so hard not to sob but there's tears streaming down my face i

but I have stronger and more important feelings for you oh my fucking god I'm gonna start sobbing for real

im gonna cry

that was the best day of my life oh my god I'm making a scene in this train what the fuck

NOT THE HAIR

IM KILLINGMTSLEF

IS MY RADAR TOTALLY OFF AKFUSKFJDK

oh

they're totally drunk

NO WAY

NO WAY OH MY GOD THATS SO CUTKEJFLSJGSLFJDLFK

WHAT THE FUCKCJFLDKGKD

WHY WOULD WE LAUGH. WE'LL FIX THAT YOU'RE A STUD YOU CAN HAVE WHOEVER YOU WANT

BRO. VINCENT. NO.

AUGUST'S FACE IM GONNA KMS THEYRE SO CUTE STOP IT

oh don't go after her asshole you're drunk

HE KISSED HER WHY

OHHHHH

OH FUCK

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME AND THATS NOT THE SAME THING OH FUCK

HE'S OFFERING TO RUN AWAY???

wille fully has no game huh. august did that immediately, wille is still all ooo im gonna be king my GOD ELOPE WITH SIMON

oh

FUCK SJFLANFJDLFKS

IT'LL PASS IS THIS A *JOKE*

big fan of the random two people with wille just BOLTING when they saw simon. like oooooohoho no this is NOT something we're doing tonight

FORGET WHAT

JUST FOR ONE NIGHT?

oh my god

WE'RE WORTH IT

I don't think I'm gonna take that. like I can't deal with that

no they're not doing that

they're not singing that song they're just not

no

I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to watch this in public transport

I thought it would be us

it was us and when it was us it was good

STELLA AND FREDRIKA LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

FELICES FACE AND HER COVERING UP HER EARS IKFJLDJFLDKFLDKGDLKG

oh

ohh

WILLE'S SONFLSKF

DONT TAÑLTOME

I IN SJAMVLES

EVERYTHING IS FSKE

AUGUST HAS A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ERIK TOOB

oh wow that just broke me

:O

WHAT

THEYRE SINGING SIMON'S SOGN

akwñskd

im shakingb

that is such a nice tradition for the graduating class. I really like that.

KRISSY AND LUDWIG? ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh yeah congrats august

why is kristina smiling is she happy abt her son going after the love of his life?

"even though it was sad" actually lmao

IT WASN'T IN VAIN DUMBASS

I NEVER GAVE UP ON US I GAVE UP ON THE ROYAL FAMILY

EHAJFJSF WILJELNW HAT TUECJCL

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER WHAT RHEUFKCJSLFJDLFK

I'm gonna cry lmao

FELICE ISN'T GOING TO NEW YORK?

OH THEYRE GONNA RUN AWAY TOGETHER

YOUNG ROYALS' GREATEST LOVE STORY EVERYONE

oh my god

oh my GOD

oh man it took one (1) thing she didn't like for krissy to go back to a stuck up bitch

however, I just SCREAMED

there couldn't be any other way now could it

it couldn't have been any other way. truly.

I feel like I can't breathe but in a positive way

LET HIM GO OH MY GOD

omg August's face. bro knows he's fucked

YOU'RE NOT RUNNING AFTER A CAR WILHELM I SWEAR TO GOD

HE GOT OUT OF THE CAE

oh my gOF

OGMT

DID YOU CO IT FOR ME

NO ID DID IT FORNME

I WANT TK BE WITH YOU SIMON

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OVER ME - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK

NSODKS

DIMLNSNFSCE

SIMON'S FSCE

VESCHEING

IM CRYING

JSL

THEYRE NOT DOING THIS TOMME

NO THEYRE OT

NOSROP

THE GIRLS

og

OG fod

the 4th wall break

no

fuck

fuck

fuck me I'm sobbing

god

what an honor it's been to love this show

thank you thank you thank you

[lemonhemlock]

Hello! What do you think of alicent being physically harsh with ty tennant's aegon? She abuses him (it felt like that to me) and then tells aegon that his sister is a dangerous person (which she is), but at that point rhaenyra hasn't done anything, and otto is not there to advise her also but she sees rhaenyra rightly as a legitimate threat. Then when we come to tgc aegon it's like she forgot that her children's lives are in danger and fights more for rhaenyra than her own children. By then she has seen first hand how dangerous rhaenyra is with aemond, vaemond, laenor etc.

Also olivia had told somewhere that alicent is thinking in eggs coronation how rhaenyra will not reconcile with her anymore. I mean why would you care about rhaenyra then. I dont mind people having affection for childhood friends but when said friend doesn't give a shit about your kids or your own mental and physical well-being then it becomes really pathetic and an unhealthy obsesion.

Im saying I'm so confused why she keeps flip-flopping. Why the heck is she on rhaenyra's side when her kids are more into protecting her than rhaenyra. She even forced aegon to accept his crown when he said no. (If they make her poison him for rhaenyra, she will be just so terrible)

The writing is making me insane. I want to get some clarity and i thought to ask you since you have such well thought out responses. Sorry for such a long question.

hey there. thank you for having faith in my abilities to make sense of this mess. i do take it as a compliment that you guys think to come to me for help whenever you're confused by smth or pondering an issue. 💌

so, i hope you won't feel too upset, but i'm going to redirect you to the relevant tags as i've been ranting about this quite a lot already and would just end up repeating myself.

long story short: it's inconsistent writing. each episode usually had a different writer & director, each with their different take on the characters. that's fine and all, but something happened there bc the people in charge (miguel??) didn't do a good enough job to smooth things over chronologically and make sure everyone is on the same page and that the character developments are linear.

that's why alicent is antagonistic and out to get rhaenyra one episode, then the next episode she wants to be bffs. that's why the showrunners say one thing to the media, but the actors say another. look at this through the perspective that they're not going to come out having a go at each other in the press because that would be unprofessional. so we're never gonna find out what miguel actually did for sure and who's responsible for all this mixed messaging.

as for alicent being physically harsh with ty's aegon. she is, as you said, alone at court, experiencing first hand viserys' indulgence & favouritism towards rhaenyra + his unwillingness to sanction her even for grave illegalities*, so that only increases her paranoia that her children are going to suffer the consequences of this. on top of /that/, aegon himself doesn't take this seriously and she has just found out he also colludes with rhaenyra's children (the people who will order his execution in the future, but he's too blind to see it now) and bullies his own brother (aka the one he could actually trust and support, but instead alienates). she goes to viserys first but he ignores her concerns again.

so i think she just snaps in that moment and loses patience with aegon. him wanking in the middle of the day in the tommen window doesn't help his case. now, alicent is not a modern mother living in the 21st century, with a whole literature of child development & psychology at her disposal, therapists and specialists to guide her. she also has her own trauma to deal with, no help on that front either. she can't "educate" herself. she is not going to be gentle parenting aegon lol. she uses what tools she has at her disposal: first talking nicely, that doesn't work, then she starts yelling and grabs his face so that he'll listen, bc what else is she supposed to do? she literally isn't conceptually aware of any other way to get her message across

*again, that's placing your bastards in the line of succession against their trueborn relatives, not having bastards in the first place

[lunelicmoone]

even more election arc tntduo things because why the fuck not

just to throw him off, q blows that stupid little strand of hair out of wilbur's face with the excuse that "you do it all the damn time. might as well help you out a little." (tommy gagged dramatically when he did it, and tubbo stifled his laughter as to not "ruin the moment")

wilbur fixing q's tie because it looked "unprofessional." and also because "it's annoying me. you don't even bother to tie it right and its just irritating." (quackity would tease him by saying "why are you looking so hard?" to which wilbur just wouldnt even answer him. the tips of his ears always gave him away, though)

wilbur soot, president of l'manburg: "yes, i find big q handsome and pretty and id lowkey fuck him if he asked but if you claim to have seen me checking him out then you're wrong and im gonna charge you for lies and slander because i have never done that ever i never—" meanwhile you catch him an hour later staring hard at q's unbuttoned shirt and his hands

SMOKE. BREAKS. sometimes wil would approach quackity before debates, and mind you q is already in politician mode so he's like "ah, mr. president. what brings you and your fancy—" and then he just stops when wilbur pulls out a pack of cigarettes with a hint of a smile on his face (they end up spending 3 hours outside and eventually arrive late to their own debate)

wilbur paying very close attention to quackity during his speeches despite going around saying that the other candidates "don't know what they're talking about", or that "no one's gonna vote for him. he has a history of being a hack politician", or even that "he's just in his rebellious phase, he'll get over it after we win." ("wil?" "…" "wil." "[hum]" "wilbur!" "ah— what? quiet, tommy, you know we cant talk during speeches." "but you-- we literally-- whatever.")

sometimes they'd arrive to the courtroom earlier than everyone else to, according to wilbur, "settle any personal arguments." (no, there's no any other reason. his face is flushed because it's hot in here, and no, the huge open doorway that leads outside to the cool almost-autumn breeze doesn't help. no— don't listen to quackity, he is not handsy, shut up.)

wilbur's cabinet + fundy and george have daily discussions on whether wilbur and quackity have something going on. everyone thinks that they do. well, george didnt officially answer. he fell asleep 5 minutes into the discussion. they put him down as a "yes" anyways.

[unprofessional-bard]

Don't Push It, Pt. 1

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Part 2 (1/2)

Based on this request.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (the reader is 26 and Joel is 53), a lot of teasing/sexual tension, implied romantic feelings.

Summary: It's been going on for years. They both know better than to act on their feelings, but patience starts running thin when a few boundaries are crossed.

Word Count: 5.280

Author's Note: Okay y'all so I am a whore for Joel with long hair and I unintentionally made this into a fix-it au where Joel is alive. Also, the reader is going to have some OC characteristics to fit the scenario better. Finally, this fic changes POV's a lot, so I'm gonna clear that up:

• ----R and below: The reader's POV.

• ----J and below: Joel's POV.

• ----B and below: Both POV's.

The fic starts off with Joel's POV.

Enjoy!

gif credits: nikolai-stavrogin

"Hey, Joel," Dina called over to the man sipping coffee on his porch.

"Mornin' Dina," He replied as his daughter's girlfriend walked over to him. Her baby bump had grown a little more and it never failed to put a smile on Joel's face.

"There's a little trouble with the patrol today," She said. "Jesse won't be able to make it to patrol with (Y/N)."

Shit.

"And they're askin' me to fill in?" He sat up a little.

"Yup, Maria told me to ask you if-"

"No problem, sure, I'll do it." He spoke nonchalantly, then asked if Jesse was alright. Dina told him she wasn't sure, that it must be something important for him to miss patrol, which made Joel nod: "You told (Y/N) too, or...?"

"No, but she's gonna be there regardless. I doubt that she knows."

"Alright, thanks Dina," Joel got up and she smiled in return before walking over to Ellie's place.

It was wrong. By the lord it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. You were fierce, confident, determined and disciplined; qualities he came to appreciate in time, but a bit differently only when it came to you. He shouldn't want you, an unknown source in his mind kept telling himself, but he did. He didn't know why, he never found himself being attracted to a woman your age, yet you had him under your spell. Oh the things you did to him...

Worst part was, he couldn't have you, whether he liked it or not. Nevermind the fact that you were too young for him, you probably didn't want him anyways- despite the crystal clear signals he got from you. It was just how you were, though: A little physical and perhaps a little flirty, but he could just be confusing that with your confidence.

Or he could be overthinking everything.

Joel readied his backpack, but realised there was still a little more than an hour before the rendez-vous, so he decided to head over to your place to tell you about the news to kill some time. After he made it there and knocked on your door while calling your name a couple of times, which were left unanswered, your neighbour curiously looked over the fences and called over to Joel: "She left a while ago... For the gym, I think."

"Thank you," Joel smiled politely and earned a wave from the lady in return. He took his time as he walked over to the gym. After he arrived, he looked around for awhile to spot where you were, but when he found it, the sight almost made him choke.

There you were, ankles crossed as you pulled yourself up and chin over the barfix with closed eyes, a frown and a clenched jaw. Sweat laced the sides of your face and Joel's eyes wandered lower: You were wearing a sports bra and matching shorts which hugged your frame tightly and the sun was shining directly onto your muscles, which the lord himself carved out and were also sweaty, but Joel didn't care - it made you look more attractive, if anything. You let out a huff and lowered yourself down, while he tried to collect himself. He didn't want to disturb you so he decided to wait until you finished...

...but you didn't seem to be finishing any time soon. He didn't want to look like a creep as he stood there and waited, so after you did another pull up and let yourself down, he cleared his throat.

----R

"(Y/N), here you are."

Had you not been already hanging, you definitely would've fell when you heard Joel's voice reach your ears. You opened your eyes to see him slowly approach you, his stupid thumb stuck in behind his stupid belt.

You hated it: You hated finding this man attractive and you hated your guts for occasionally flirting with him - him, who probably would never look at you the way you looked at him. He liked you, of course, he enjoyed your company but not the way you wanted him to. You hated that you had a crush on this man, who became even more gorgeous as he let his hair grow over the last few years, you also hated how he neatly parted it to the left.

Patrol with him was both a treat and a curse at the same time. You got to spend time with him, which made it a treat, but when you watched him- saw him in action, how aggressive he was, heat started to pool between your thighs. He was so rough and precise as he was smart; he always knew what to do under any circumstance, so you almost never worried when you went out with him. He made you feel safe, praised you and played with your heart when he responded to your flirting and nothing came out of it.

You hated it because your little "crush" on him was pathetic, for someone as confident as you. Sure, you teased and flirted with him, but one praise as simple as you did well today and you'd be melting on spot. You even tried to get with other people to distract yourself, to no avail. They weren't Joel.

None of them could ever be Joel.

"Good morning!" You said with a high pitched voice, reflecting your struggle to keep yourself up.

"To you too," He chuckled at your state and watched as you pulled yourself up slowly. "Hey, listen. Jesse ain't gonna make it to patrol today so I'm fillin' in for him."

----B

The way you faltered a little didn't escape him: "Why? Is he okay?"

"I dunno, but I'm sure he is. Something important must've come up," Joel informed you, not wanting to worry you as you seemed to care about him. A lot. Ugh.

"Tsk," You breathed out and closed your eyes to focus on keeping your head above the metal bar.

Joel then spoke again: "Yeah, I was just here to let ya know."

"Okay, well-" You exhaled audibly and suddenly let yourself go. The force of the action sent you flying a little and it almost made you bump into him: "Woah, oh, sorry-"

"Woah there," You both chuckled at the same time. Joel held you by your elbows to help you balance yourself and your heart rate picked up pace when you realised how close your face was to his chest a moment ago - the chest you wanted to get your hands on: How muscular was he? How many scars did he have there? How would it feel to run your fingers through the hair as you ro-

"Uhm, yeah, as I was saying," You snapped yourself back to reality and took a small step back, disappointed by the way his fingers let go of your arms: "I'm done here, just need to do a couple of stretches, then head back and take shower."

"Right. Well, I'll see you at the gate, then?"

"Uh, sure, yeah."

You didn't know what else to say other than stay. You wanted him near you and around you, you wanted to show off to him and you wanted his attention, so you had to think quick.

Joel didn't want to leave either, even though you were going to spend the whole day together. He still nodded and turned around to leave. It was then, when a brilliant idea crossed your mind: "Actually, Joel?" He turned around, gave you a soft look that made you want to run up to him and kiss all over his face. "Could you help me with my stretches?"

If he'd been drinking or eating anything, he most definitely would've choked: "Help you?"

"Yeah," You flashed a smile at him. "It's simple, you just gotta press me down and keep me in place." The widening of his eyes, puzzled face and his tense posture made you shy. "Eh- Normally, Jesse helped me with them."

True. Some stretches required someone to push your body to its limits - when you worked out alone, you stuck to simpler stretches, but right now, you needed a reason to have him by your side.

Joel was torn between leaving, like a responsible person who knew when to walk away would. He was responsible, yes, but his moral compass was thrown out of the window whenever you joined the picture. So far, he wanted to think he was handling his emotions well- by not acting on them and not talking about them.

Now, however, it was as if he was facing the last straw. He had a few boundaries left to cross, and this was one of them.

"Plus, I'm a bit tired to do them. Will you help me?"

Lies. All lies.

You'd been doing these stretches for long enough, even though you'd worked hard, you weren't tired at all. Joel thought this to be the case, so he tried to go around it: "You sure? I mean, how're you tired?"

"I've been training like hell this morning," You settled on the mat. "I don't wanna do these stretches, but I have to. I'm not in the mood to pull a muscle today."

That was good enough for him really: "'Kay," He sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

Your eyes glowed in excitement before you faced forward and explained: "Im gonna lean forward, like this-" You extended your legs forward and lowered yourself down. "All you gotta do is press on my back and stop me from moving away for a few seconds."

A few seconds which felt like five minutes, truth be told.

As soon as he touched your bare back, you sighed, then forced it into a hiss. He immediately retreated his hands, thinking he hurt you, pushing the ludicrous idea that you might have moaned away immediately.

His hands were big and a little cold comparing to your skin which was on fire after the workout, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't do that on purpose. You straightened up and looked at him with an innocent smile: "Your hands are cold."

Not cold enough to make you react like that, obviously.

Joel offered an awkward chuckle from the back of his throat: "You're gonna have to deal with it, missy."

And deal with it you did- barely. Christ, that was a bad idea, your worst one yet. To have his hands on your bare skin, pressing you down made your cheeks burn and mouth hang open as he kept you in place. You almost didn't hear him when he spoke, too busy trying to comprehend the size of his hands and how they'd feel around your throa-

"How many of these do you gotta do?"

"Uh, dunno," You blurted out. "Not too many."

Joel was partly glad, it felt so wrong yet it was just a simple act of help you could've asked from anyone. After 20 seconds of staying like that, you straightened. You went into a head-to-knee position and gave him an okay to press you down again.

You switched to the other leg after half a minute, but you were running out of ideas. There weren't any positions left that you could use his help with, so you played one last card to ruin him: "More."

"W-What?"

Good riddance.

"Press a little harder," You pretended to focus and tried your best not to smirk, knowing you had him where you wanted.

"Oh- hm," He cleared his throat and pressed a little more down on your back. If your plan hadn't backfired and made you almost moan through your teeth, everything was going accordingly.

Joel went to pull back, but stopped when you added: "It's been a while since I did these..."

Christ.

"That enough?" He slowly retreated his hands and stood up, watching you lean up where you sat.

"Yup, that'll be it," You smiled and blinked a couple of times. If Joel had known better, he would've thought you were making him do that, then being all cute on purpose-

It was going to be a long day.

----R

Patrol with the older Miller went as normally as it always was. Part one usually went like this: Meet up at the gate, get your rifles and horses, ride out, reach checkpoint one and sign your names. The road to checkpoint one didn't have any trouble, it usually never did. It was more quiet between you two than usual though. Had you gone too far?

"So, uh," You said once the two of you mounted your horses again. "You coming to the dance tonight?"

"What?" He snapped his head in your direction, looking clueless. "What dance?"

"Well, not a dance exactly but- you know what I mean?" You started riding. "The adults only event?"

He looked really distracted, a bit tense even: "Oh, right. You know those ain't my thing."

"I know," You nodded with a soft smile. "But I haven't seen you in any event ever since you decked Seth."

"Decked?" Joel chuckled bitterly at the memory.

"He deserved it, and more, that prick," You rolled your eyes, making him chortle.

"And nobody managed to shut up about it for the whole month," He sighed with a gorgeous yet tired smile on his face which you managed to see just in time. "So, no thanks. I'll pass."

"Aw, come on," You whined. "You can't avoid coming to these events forever. Please?"

He gave you a confused look, his smile slowly disappearing but not in a bad way: "Why?"

A good question. Oh, no reason, just wanna try and make a move on you, quite possibly jump your bones if it all goes well.

"I wanna make sure you haven't lost your ability to socialise." You offered.

"Really? Why, you're my momma now?"

"Ew, no," You both laughed. "Can't I be sure my friend is alive and well occasionally?"

----J

Friend.

A word that made Joel stop and think.

You saw him as a friend, huh? Two people, with clear sexual tension and an obvious age gap between them- Friends was an awkward description for him, but it was better than nothing.

He opened his mouth to reply, to insist that he was indeed alive and well, but you stopped him: "You know what I mean."

The conversation was making him a little distracted, he noticed, so he decided to keep his mouth shut until you reached checkpoint two. You didn't press him on, which was also a delight. That's another thing he liked about you: You knew your bounds- in patrol anyways. Or maybe it was because you got to know him well over the time, knew what he liked or not.

Part two went quieter too- infected and conversation wise. Not even a single runner was on sight as you swept through the small cabins and houses. Except for the occasional clear's and nothing here's, you didn't say anything else. Joel itched to talk to you, about anything to break the silence, but he was too lost in thought.

When you finally made it back to Jackson, you finally spoke up: "So? You coming?" He chuckled, mostly out of relief, then you added: "I found a new outfit, I wanna know what you think."

That caught Joel's attention. With a curious smile, after handing over your horses, he asked: "What outfit?"

"You'll see... If you come." You smirked, your close proximity making Joel's heart race.

"Don't get your hopes up," He sighed with a small grin and tucked his thumb behind his belt, the other one gripping the strap of his rifle.

"You're the worst," You punched his shoulder with mock upset, making him chortle and stumble a little to the right. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Joel remained quiet, then you walked away with a soft smile gracing your lips. The words sunk deeper than he would've liked, a sudden wave of guilt soaking his guts with regret, even though you didn't sound disappointed or upset. Lips pursed, he watched you hand your rifle to Peter and sign off, then leave; his steps coming to a halt as you did.

He just might check out what was up at the dance tonight, if he could successfully move himself out of his comfort zone in the following few hours.

----R

"Well well, look who it is," Tommy grinned when you approached the doors of the pub. The night had settled across the sky by the time you stepped outside your place. The sound of music and chatter of the people from inside filled your ears.

"Yours truly," You smirked. "It's crowded in there huh?"

"It sure is," Tommy said as he turned around to lead you inside. "Adults only events tend to attract more people, as y'can guess. Don't you look pretty today."

"Why thank you." You smiled playfully: "For no one, but myself, at that."

You lied through your teeth. You had dressed up in the silly hope that Joel would actually show up. You had been planning on it ever since you came across the item wrapped around your hips in an abandoned clothes shop a few weeks ago, and this event was the perfect excuse for you to wear it. For him.

"I ain't sayin' nothing!" Tommy raised his hands up in defense. "Figured that much, haven't seen anyone catch your interest in a long time."

Ha. Nice.

The atmosphere was lively and the air was warm, full of energy. Chatter and dancing went about the packs of people scattered across the space, but you couldn't see Joel, much to your disappointment - you weren't surprised though. What surprised you was Jesse suddenly showing up.

"Where's Ellie and Dina?" You asked after a while of teasing him about missing patrol.

"They decided to stay behind, I guess." He shrugged.

"What can I get y'all?" Tommy smiled, suddenly appearing behind the counter. Without waiting for an answer, he filled two glasses and pushed them towards you. You and Jesse looked at each other for a brief moment, before knocking it back at one go. "Woah there..."

A round of laughter later, you felt someone's presence behind you, then they tapped you on the shoulder: "Hey, (Y/N)!"

Much to your disappointment, once more, it was a boy named Mark. He was a year older than you, had no features whatsoever matching Joel's prettier ones and he took an obvious liking to you, which in truth you didn't appreciate, even though he wasn't weird about it or anything. You faked a smile and turned to him a little: "Hi."

"Good to see you," Sure. "How, uh, how are you?"

"Busy, actually," You pointed at the glass Tommy was refilling for you.

"Mind if I join?" He made himself comfortable on the stool next to you.

"Yeah. I do." Your smile never faded but your words were laced with poison.

He looked between you, Tommy and Jesse, mortified at your answer: "W- Heh, well, would you wanna dance later, then-?"

"No, I don't." You spoke calmly and turned to face Jesse again, only for him to move to tap you on the shoulder, which Tommy stopped from happening.

"Why don't you go home, huh?" He grabbed his wrist firmly, but not hard enough to leave a bruise of course. "The lack of oxygen in your brain's clearly stoppin' you from understandin' a word as simple as no."

You looked over at the younger Miller, a stern look on his face which seemed to make Mark piss himself. Suddenly, an even deeper voice was heard behind the boy: "I advise you to listen to him, son."

You turned completely in your seat to see Joel grabbing Mark by the shoulders, making him jump, then remove him from the seat carefully. Mark's legs were quick to oblige, making him walk towards the exit, but Joel held him in place: "A-ah, what do you say to the lady?"

"I'm s-sorry, (Y/N)," He nodded quickly. "I'll never disturb you again, I promise."

"Good boy," Joel patted him on the back, which sent him running to the door. Your cheeks were suddenly burning and you couldn't help but smile shyly.

"Tsk, what a jackass," Tommy nodded disapprovingly as Joel took the now empty space next to you.

"You decided to show then, huh?" You smirked at Joel.

"Yeah, figured you'd break someone's wrists and make 'em eat it," He chuckled, tipping his head at his brother in a greeting -God he looked so handsome, was that a new shirt?- before he continued: "Decided it'd be a shame to miss it."

You giggled and lightly pushed at his arm, almost immediately feeling the muscles underneath the rolled up sleeve of his blue shirt: "I'll take that as a I came because you asked and I listened for once." The exchange, obviously, didn't go unnoticed by his brother and Jesse, which made you sit upright suddenly: "Tommy was the one who was gonna break his wrist anyways..."

"Nobody gets to disturb anyone here, especially right in front of me," He said and slid a glass to his brother.

Jesse joined in: "I doubt it, but should he ever-"

"Aw, you guys are spoiling me," You grinned and waved your hand down, pressing the other onto your chest.

----J

You looked beautiful. You were wearing a plain, dark green, mid-thigh, flare skirt; which could pass as a miniskirt, but Joel was no fashion expert. You always did come up with the rarest clothing items (like your sports set that morning), so he wasn't surprised that you happened across the skirt. You also had a simple, white, v-neck t-shirt on- which all in all was the reason you left Joel speechless: You could be wearing something as simple as these, but you'd still look so damn pretty.

A few minutes later, after Jesse and Tommy disappeared in different directions and you were finally left alone, Joel spoke up: "Is this the-"

"What made you-" You gave each other a brief look before chuckling: "You go first."

"Ah, I was gonna ask if this was the outfit you wanted me to see," He said, briefly looking down to point at your skirt.

He watched you run a hand through your hair and bite your bottom lip before answering: "Yeah..." You got up and stuffed your hands in your pockets, which made Joel's heart sizzle. "What do you think?"

He gave you a genuine smile: "I think you look beautiful."

The shock on your face made Joel panick a little, but when you offered a shy little smile, he relaxed: "You- Really?"

He gave you a single, slow nod in acknowledgement, his smile grew bigger when you beamed at him and offered him a quiet thank you, then sat back. You were staring hard at your glass, clearly avoiding his gaze and he found it rather cute, but didn't comment on it.

He was looking forward to chat with you, after all, you were the reason why he showed up, but you were unfortunately dragged away by a couple of friends, Jesse included...

To dance.

An upbeat song he didn't recognise started playing, putting you and another boy, Mick, to action. Everyone backed away to give you two space, then started off with what seemed to be something you'd been practicing for a while. You mirrored each other's moves, it was similar to some folk dance he'd watched way before the outbreak, but it most definitely wasn't a folk dance. Your arms linked occasionally, hands on your hips as you crossed each other's legs with fast movements and other types of moves Joel couldn't name if he tried, but it was organised and fun to watch. It wasn't intimate, too, just a silly little dance as you called it minutes later when you finished and walked to the bar for a drink. You didn't stay long, though, just downed your drink, winked at him and went back to the stage where you and Mick (but mostly you) stole the show.

It went on for two more rounds, to the point your t-shirts were absolutely soaked and your legs couldn't take it anymore. Joel had a particularly hard time in his seat, watching your skirt float around your thighs made him feel embarrassed with himself. Tommy even went as far as to tease him about his constant squirming, but a glare from his older brother was enough to shut him up.

The last dance finished off with you in Mick's arms, leaning back in his hold and closing your eyes with laughter. Everyone clapped you both, which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Mick- which you returned. Joel's jaw clenched unintentionally, even though you and him didn't appear to be more than friends.

Stop. Stop it, you idiot.

He couldn't care less about these types of things, drama about who's dating who and whatnot, but when it came to you he naturally grew curious.

He watched you, eyelids struggling to keep themselves open as Jesse led you and helped you onto the stool, next to Joel once more. You huffed and giggled, eyes closed with sweat droplets on your forehead. He couldn't help it when his smile grew wider at your tipsy state.

What he didn't see coming was the sudden hand on his thigh and your back against his arm, letting your head drop onto his shoulder as you let out a brief laugh: "Never let me dance and drink at the same time again."

Joel didn't know what to say, he quickly looked around for Jesse only to find him already gone and a couple of people staring at the both of you. With a rush of panic, he responded: "I don't think I'm the one you should say that to, darlin'."

Your hand and the rest of your body immediately retreated when you jumped at his voice: "Joel?!" You looked a little embarrassed and he couldn't help but smirk. "Uh, where's Jesse?"

The question almost made him scrunch up his face, but he patiently waited until the end of the conversation, which was after you've walked away to find the boy in question and he was alone with his own thoughts... Jealousies...

"He dropped you off and went over there, I think." Joel nodded to the direction he thought Jesse went off to - he didn't see though, he was too busy focusing on you when your fingertips had brushed somewhere dangerously near his crotch.

"Huh," You stared around to find him, but Joel figured you were too intoxicated to actually see that far. "You need to stop wearing the same clothes."

He raised a brow at that: "You tell him that."

"Oh I will," You grinned mischievously and suddenly grabbed Joel's glass of whiskey from his hand, then downed it at one go before he could intervene.

"Hey!" He tried to grab the glass from you but you leaned back. "I think you've had enough for the night."

"Says who-?" You pouted and at the very same time, lost your balance, realising that you leaned a little too back. However, Joel caught you; one hand on your arm, the other on your waist and he pulled you back - he didn't know if you did it purposefully, but you practically fell into his body: "Oh! I'm sorry-" You laughed, not looking sorry at all. "Thanks, Joel," You purred, extending the 's' and the 'l' at the end of each word as you grabbed onto his biceps. "You saved me."

"Pfft," Joel couldn't help but let his hand linger on your waist as he made sure you stood in place. Your eyes met when you lifted your head from his chest - the meaning behind his hazel gaze and your own was similar and it lasted for what felt like a whole minute, while in reality it was no longer than a few seconds.

You finally let his arms go and he took it as his cue to remove his hand from your waist (which, for a moment, felt like it had been glued there): "So... You enjoying yourself, old man?"

Joel sighed through his nose, amused at how the alcohol in your system was slowing your speech, then went back to how he had been sitting before you came. Just when you asked, the smooth, familiar tune of Ain't No Sunshine started playing. After all the excitement, a slower music felt nice: "Sure. You?"

"Oh I sure am," You nodded and leaned back against the counter with something of a triumphant smile.

"I can tell," Joel replied, then without turning his head, side eyed you. His stare later on moved down to your skirt. "Why'd you get all dressed up for, really?"

"Huh?" You blinked, not processing if he was asking what you thought he was.

"I, uh- just never took you for the skirt type."

"Is that so?" You asked, eyes widening. "Well, just trying on a new outfit..." You looked down and bit your lower lip, making Joel's heart skip a beat. He mentally kicked himself for not leaving right then and there and continuing to talk to you: "There's actually another reason."

"Hm?"

"There's this guy," You turned towards him, placed your arm paralleled across his on the counter and leaned forward a little, pretending to look around. His fingertips scratched against the wooden surface of the counter at the mention of this guy in question. "I don't know his name, but maybe you do?"

He just raised a brow when you looked at him innocently: "He's a bit old, around this tall," Your hand went back and forth in the air as you tried to size the man's height in your mind. "Has pretty, long, graying hair with an also graying beard... A little scar on his nose," You looked at him and leaned in a little more, invading his personal space but not touching him, then pointed at the exact spot on your nose and it was then, Joel realised, that you were indeed describing himself. "He's wearing this blue shirt and, honestly, it would look better on him if he opened another button or two."

I know, I know

Hey I oughta leave young thing alone

But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

He wanted to counter, tease you back, lean down and taste your lips, then place a kiss or two on your neck and bite it softly just to hear you moan quietly into his ear- he also needed to get his shit together, as much as he wanted to do all of that.

He couldn't quite believe his self control when he leaned away from you, especially since the tip of your noses almost touched and he felt your hot breath on his lips. He cleared his throat and quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking- no one had seen the rather intimate interaction so he spoke: "I don't know who that is."

The disappointment on your features was like a knife twisting up in his guts. You blinked a couple of times, but didn't lean back: "S- Sure you do..."

"I don't," Joel insisted, his voice stern. "Maybe you should look for someone else."

Your disappointment turned into embarrassment and anger, making you frown and lean back: "Excuse me."

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Anytime she goes away

And with that, you got up and stormed away, leaving Joel wanting, aching and ashamed.

Anytime she goes away

Anytime she goes away

Anytime she goes away