#best part in b99

[azurecanary]

Well

Time to crawl into a hole and weep

[weemmagooutofstyle]

there's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis

she was such a strong, female woman, with nice heavy breasts

[cheese-corgi]

So I saw Mixed Messages' video for the idk time and I could NOT make this Screenshots taken from the Mixed Messages music video Credits to Gabriella Antali/@galoogamelady for making the animated video (and thus the meme material)

On a side note, I must give a big thanks to galoo for making me love these two dumpster fire society hazards with felon vibes that clearly belong together

[izels-writing]

j. potter — 5 times james showed you he loved you + the 1st time he said it

Pairing: james potter x childhood best friend!fem!reader

Summary: james is in love with you, as you are with him.

Warnings: longer than usual, FLUFFF, a bit specific (y/n have a big family and nut allergy), a break up (not james ), confession scene is bad but i feel that’s what childhood best friend love confession would look like😭, ALSO I USED A LITTLE DIALOGUE FROM GILMORE GIRLS AND B99 BC I JUST HAD TO OKAY IT WAS FUNNY

a/n: i tried so hard with this one, pls tell me if u like it! it’s a bit different than my usual writing

august 12th, 1969:

"what're you two doing?" euphemia potter asked, a small smile gracing her lips as she noticed you and james sat across each other on his bedroom floor.

you placed your piece down, grinning at james' utter disappointment as you took his piece in the process. he groaned.

"we're playing muggle chess," he told his mother. "and y/n's beating me!"

you smiled. "i told him it wasn't as easy as he thought!" you countered, noticing euphemia's chuckle.

"well, it's getting late you two," she said. "i don't suppose you two expect to be up until the wee hours playing this game," though she tried to be stern, you and james knew how incapable she was when it came to the two of you.

"mum! we're nine now! can't we just have a little bit longer? nine o'clock it too early," james complained. "how about ten thirty?"

euphemia crossed her arms in thought. "how about ten o'clock?"

"ten-twenty," james countered.

"ten-fifteen," euphemia concluded, "take it or leave it,"

"we'll take it!" you exclaimed. james nodded in agreement, though, he always agreed with whatever you said.

you supposed that was part of the best friends thing.

you and james had been best friends since you were five years old, when your parents inherited the house next door to his—which was a blessing given the large family you had. three brothers, two sisters, and you—making a total of six kids. your three bedroom apartment wasn't cutting it anymore at that point.

so, to escape your loud and obnoxious family, you often spent all of your time at the potters. it helped that you and james didn't go to school, given euphemia taught you at home. out of all of your siblings, only you and two of your brothers had inherited magic. whereas the rest of them had to attend muggle school, you, james, and your two brothers were homeschooled by euphemia.

and everyone knew since the day you moved in, you and james were inseparable.

"alright then, either of you fancy a snack?" euphemia asked. "i don't want either of you eating too late,"

"no, thank you, mrs. potter," you replied with a small smile.

"yeah, we're okay mum, thank you," james added.

"of course," euphemia grinned. she eerily looked like a girl version of james when she did grinned, you supposed that's why you found her so comforting. "and y/n, dear, how many times have i told you to call me mia?"

you smiled sheepishly. "i'm sorry, i can't,"

and truthfully, as much as you tried, it felt way to disrespectful to call her by her name and not mrs. potter.

"yeah," james snickered, "she's got this weird compulsion where she has to be perfect and respectful all the time," james taunted.

"shut up," you laughed, shoving james gently.

"alright, well, ten-fifteen...alright?" she looked at you both warningly.

"yes ma'am," you and james chorused, but as soon as she left, you two burst into a fit of laughter.

even if lights were out by ten-fifteen, you two would still be awake all hours of the night laughing and talking about seemingly nothing.

you let him play his turn, smiling as he made a rookie mistake. you quickly showed him how bad his mistake was.

"y/n!" he groaned.

"face it, potter," you sighed. "i'm just better..."

he rolled his eyes and shoved the pillow in his lap at your face. you, being you, caught it with a laugh and threw it aside. analyzing the board as he went to make his next move.

he'd never admit he let you win just so he could see the smile on your face when you did.

——

march 15th, 1996:

"stop painting her nails and help me find an outfit!" sirius exclaimed. "moony won't wait forever!"

james looked up from your hand as you both turned to look at sirius. though he'd never admit it aloud, james loved painting your nails ever since you forced him to do it the first time because your hands were too shaky.

"red shirt, leather jacket, and..." you squinted before turning to james to let him decide what pants your lovesick friend should wear.

"black jeans," he decided. you nodded in agreement.

"thank you, mr. and mrs. potter," sirius sighed, pulling out the exact clothes you two had picked out. "finally you pay attention to me,"

his nickname for you both made you shift slightly, as it always did. not that either of them noticed.

"don't be dramatic, sirius," you replied, rolling your eyes. "painting nails is tedious work,"

"you're tedious work," sirius grumbled, quickly changing. the boys had no qualms changing in front of you despite the fact that you were a girl, they'd known you as long as they'd known james—given you were a package deal when you got to hogwarts.

"how are you two planning to spend the afternoon?" he asked, making conversation as he finished up his eyeliner.

"napping," you replied. you had pulled the longest study session ever last night, and still had to wake up in time for classes. to say you were tired was an understatement.

james didn't like naps as much as you, but he laid with you until you fell asleep because he was so warm. you practically forced him to.

"cuddle session?" sirius asked, ruffling his hair in style.

"that's the one," james replied, finishing your last nail.

"it never ceases to amaze me how close you two are without being in love," sirius chuckled before slipping on his shoes. "anyway, bye...don't wait up for me and moony," he winked before closing the door behind him.

he wasn't entirely truthful. sirius knew about your long haboured crush in james since your third year of hogwarts. at first, you were convinced it was just teen hormones and it'd wear off.

it did not.

if anything, it got worse ever since then. you couldn't be near the boy without smiling and you certainly spent most of your time with him if not with mary or the other boys you two had befriended. he just understood you, he was your person.

the worst part was that you knew he didn't feel the same. you'd known since your first year about his undying love for lily evans, which had progressed so much more over the years.

you supposed you'd get over it eventually.

you scoffed. "look at him, flaunting what we don't have—remus,"

"i know, the utter torture knowing remus will never be ours," he sighed sarcastically. you laughed,

he lied down, arm behind his head which flexed all the right muscles. meanwhile you blew at your nails to make them dry faster. you marveled at the beautiful pink color, perfectly done by your best friend.

"you can take the girl out of the muggle world, but not the muggle world out of the girl," james teased before grabbing his wand and waving it wordlessly. in an instant, your nails were fully dry.

you scoffed. "please, you love the muggle world,"

he grinned. "yeah, i do," he shrugged.

you lied beside him, curling up into him to wrap your arms around his waist and your legs around his hips. it wasn't always the most comfortable position for him, but he put up with it for you, unbeknownst to you. you lied your head on his shoulder, breathing in his aromatic cologne.

you never understood why you tortured yourself like this. you knew these moments would just make you fall harder for him, but you couldn't help yourself. even if he'd never be your boyfriend, at least you had him in your life.

"alright, see you in two hours," you mumbled, adjusting your head comfortably.

"i'll be here," he sighed in fake annoyance. "waiting..."

"shut up," you muttered sleepily.

a few movements later, he smiled softly as you began to snore quietly. he kissed your head ever so softly, as to not wake you, pushing hair out of your face.

he really did hate naps.

but not the ones with you.

——

september 22nd, 1974:

the five of you sat in the greats hall, piling your plates as everyone chattered during their dinner. you laughed at whatever sirius said, waiting for remus to let go of the spoon for the macaroni bowl.

"pads, wipe your mouth," james scolded, handing the friend in question a cloth. sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed it, wiping his mouth aggressively.

"happy?" the grey-eyed got asked in feign annoyance.

you laughed as james rolled his eyes and nodded.

"y/n, do you want some?" peter asked, showing you a plate of fruit bars with nuts in it.

"do you want her to die?!" james exclaimed, though it was drowned out by the loudness of the great hall.

you, sirius, and remus exchanged looks. james took all of you guys' allergies seriously, but for some reason, with yours he became scandalized. you took a deep breath, sending an apologetic look toward peter.

james scoffed. "does she look like snivellus to you?"

peter blinked at him.

"does she?" james demanded. the four of you didn't know whether he was genuinely being serious.

"no...?" peter replied.

"then why are you trying to poison her?!" he snapped.

peter sighed, remembering your allergy suddenly. "i'm sorry, y/n," he said. "i forgot,"

"it's okay," you replied with a small smile.

james glared at peter.

"what?!" peter exclaimed. "i said sorry! it's not like i shoved it down her throat!"

"shame on you, wormy," he shook his head.

"james, believe it or not," you said. "i'm a big girl, i can just tell peter no when he offers,"

"it's about principle, y/n!" he replied.

"and you call yourself one of her best friends," james scoffed, shaking his head at peter again.

"james, if you don't stop, i'll put normal milk in your cereal, you lactose-intolerant freak," peter threatened.

remus sighed. "one peaceful dinner, it's all i ask," he grumbled. sirius rubbed his arm comfortingly.

you laughed loudly, making the other four turn to you. quickly, the rest of them broke and laughter filled the table. quickly, remus, sirius, and peter resumed their own conversation—leaving you to talk to james.

"thanks for remembering, it's very kind of you," you admitted to him lowly. "even though you're such a drama queen about it," you taunted.

"of course, i actually know you," he whispered back. "not like these posers,"

you laughed, shoving him playfully. "you're such a loser,"

"takes one to know one," he fired back.

you rolled your eyes and joined in the conversation in front of you, grabbing a cookie and breaking it in half. without breaking your conversation, you handed one half to james and began to eat the other.

he smiled at you and ate his half.

of course he remembered everything about you. how could he not? you were going to be in his life for the rest of it. that he was sure of.

——

june 12th, 1975:

you sniffled, wiping your nose on a tissue as you went through your various polaroids. your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, had broken up with you a couple hours ago. as much as you tried not to cry over a boy, especially one that wasn't your best friend, you couldn't help but feel hurt nonetheless.

you liked him. and he just made a bet to date you for five months.

mary, marlene, emmeline, and lily had tried to comfort you but to no avail. you asked them to leave you be and they complied, silently agreeing to get the one person who they all knew could comfort you.

you held back a sob, cutting up the pictures and discarding them in the dorm trash. god, you felt pathetic. he wasn't worth it. but it still hurt.

a knock at the door caught your attention.

"come in," you sniffled, thinking it was one of the girls trying to get to your shared room that you selfishly kicked them out of. you hated crying in front of people.

a tall, lean raven-headed boy entered the room. he held a box of tissues and a buttload of snacks. he set everything down on your desk, eyes scanning you sadly.

"he dated me on a bet, james," you sniffled as your voice wavered slightly. "he broke up with me this morning,"

you met his eyes, seeing how worried he looked, and got shoved your face into your hands—a quiet sob escaping your lips, muffled by your hands.

"i'm so sorry, love," he mumbled, sitting in front of you to pull you into a hug. you hugged him back tightly, crying quietly into his shoulder. you felt terrible for his tear-stained shoulder, but the tears wouldn't stop.

you just felt so pathetic and used. how could you fall for it so easily? but you suppose if there was anyone you could be vulnerable with, it was your best friend in the entire world.

"why didn't he like me?" you mumbled tearfully.

"because he's an idiot," james replied, holding you tightly. "because he doesn't know what a great girl is even if it slapped him in the face,"

you let go. "how could i be so stupid? i mean i should've known! in all my five years at hogwarts, no boy has ever asked me out... i should've trusted my gut," you shook your head disappointedly.

"you're not stupid," james assured you. "he is, don't get it twisted. you liked him, there's nothing wrong with that, he just happened to be a prat,"

you frowned. "i suppose. but i mean i should've known..."

james cupped your face, looking into your eyes. "listen to me, y/n," he said seriously. "you are the most beautiful girl i know, you're smart and kind and funny and understanding...i could go on and on. he lost a great girl and he will pay for it for the rest of his life, do not feel pathetic and upset over some stupid bloke—got me?"

you let a smile grace your face. "you think i'm beautiful?"

he huffed and let go of your face, though you could see his playful expression. "is that really the only thing you got from that?"

you shook your head. "no, i heard you loud and clear," you admitted with a small smile. "thank you, j, you're the ultimate best friend,"

he grinned. "i know, it's a talent,"

you rolled your eyes. without you having to say anything, he grabbed the snacks and began to open them up for you, the both of you beginning to eat from the packages of snacks.

"am i more beautiful than farrah fawcett?" you asked teasingly.

"don't push your luck," he huffed.

you let out a melodic laugh and instantly, a smile spread across james' face. that's all he wanted, was to make you laugh.

the very next week, your ex boyfriend ended up in the hospital wing after a few humiliating yet harmless hexes being cast on him. unfortunately, all four marauders received detention for something they had very obviously done.

james didn't care. he'd go through millions of detentions if it meant protecting you.

——

may 27th, 1976:

a thousand used tissues and a finished vial of cold medicine later, you had only gotten through the first five chapters of your potions book. despite your efforts, you hadn’t made much progress in the years worth of material you were set to cover. exams were in two weeks and you were much more behind than you had realized. you had no time to recover, not when o.w.l’s determined what classes you received next year.

your eyes drooped as you turned the page, leaning your head in your hand tiredly. you weren’t even sure you were retaining anything anymore, just studying so you could say you had done it.

lily and mary had left you some time ago, tired themselves. they had begged you and pleaded for you to join them in your dorm, so you could sleep off the medicine. you were the only one sick—just your luck.

you refused and moreover, begun to ignore them. they didn’t take it personally, they knew how you could get around exam time. they muttered that they’d come back to check on you soon. that had been four hours ago, and you were happy that they seemingly weren’t going to come back any time soon.

a loud clatter across the library made you sit up from your medicine-potion-induced trance. your eyes opened wider, scanning the dark library for any movement. madam pince had left two hours ago, given the library had closed and she had no idea you were back here.

“hello?” you whispered, mentally cursing yourself for the stupid mistake. if there was someone here, like a teacher, you surely had just given yourself away.

thankfully for you, it wasn’t a teacher or staff member. instead, it was your best friend.

“y/n? what’re you doing here? it’s twelve-a.m.!” james whispered loudly, moving the books that had blocked your view effortlessly. he kneeled by you on the chair, your body relaxing as you realized it was him.

“baking a cake,” you replied sarcastically. “what does it look like i’m doing, potter?”

“first of all, you know last names hurt me,” james replied. “secondly, you look like shit,”

he felt your forehead. “and you feel like shit,”

“wow, you sure know how to charm a lady, james,” you replied with a playfully eye roll. “don’t worry, i’m on my way back to the dorms, just twenty more minutes,”

james gave you a deadpan look. “mary and lily told me you said that four hours ago,”

so that’s who revealed your location. the traitors.

“james, i have to study! i can’t just not pass my potions o.w.l’s?” you replied.

james sat on the chair diagonal to you, looking at your very obviously sick form. it had to be some strain of the summer flu, given remus had gotten it just a week prior.

“to quote my mother, you have to sleep—it’s what keeps you beautiful,” he tried persuasively. you were not nothing if not vain.

you scoffed. “who’s gonna cares about beauty if i fail my finals?!”

“your future husband?” james tried.

“i won’t be marrying anyone that vain,” you concluded.

“that should make me feel better,” he replied. “but you working yourself to death does not,”

“okay, you can study for twenty more minutes,” he sighed after a moment of you staring at each other. “i’ll go make you a tea and wait with you to make sure you actually come to bed,”

you rolled your eyes and waved him off, returning to your potions textbook in no time. james quickly ambled out of the library and made his way to the kitchen.

thankfully for him, filch was on leave for a few days, not that anyone knew that. he had walked into a particularly nasty prank by james and sirius, leaving him stuck in the hospital wing for a few days. all the staff elected to not tell students, in hopes it’d scare them into not sneaking out at night.

james quickly made his way back to the kitchen, asked the house elves for a tea, and began making his way back. it was in a tiny coffee to go cup—why the house elves had them, james had no idea, but it certainly made his life easier.

he couldn’t have been gone more than a ten minutes, but as james got back, he quickly noticed the angle of the light from your wand was not the same as it had been when he left. james quietly made his way over and smiled warmly at the sight.

there you were, head lying on the table, hands tucked into your sweatshirt in attempts to be warm. you were sound asleep, the potion having finally caught up to you. granted, james was just glad the amount you had drank hadn’t killed you—as he was sure it wasn’t safe at all to finish a vial in one day.

he walked over and summoned a blanket with the flick of his wand, allowing for his hand to catch it immediately. he placed the tea down on the table. then, he pushed the hair out of your face and draped the cover over you, kissing your head gently as he had felt you do to him so many times.

he wrapped it around you and with one swift motion, he wrapped an arm around your knees and another around your neck—cradling you close to his chest. you woke for a moment, brief and unaware, to wrap your arms around his neck. he tried to fight the nerves that twisted in his stomach at your touch.

and all the way from the library to the common room, james held you tight and carried you all the way back, careful not to wake you. you were burning up, but other than that, you looked comfortable. much more comfortable than before.

the fat lady, without a word, swung open when she saw james and he safely brought you inside—laying you down on the couch. you stirred a bit and looked up at him through half-lidded eyes.

“thanks, j,” you whispered.

“of course,” he grinned, sitting beside you, moving your legs on his lap. “now get some sleep, i’ll wait here with you,”

“you’re a good best friend,” you mumbled through a yawn.

james smiled and kissed his fingers, gently placing them on your head. you smiled happily and fell asleep in no time.

he only wished that one day he’d be more than just your best friend.

——

october 11th, 1977:

you sat in front of james on his bed, finishing up an essay you two had worked on together. the entire day, no—the entire week, he’d been acting strange. james was usually strange, but not this strange. he had been gentler and his face would burn up whenever sirius mentioned his little nickname for both of you.

it was beginning to scare you. what if he was becoming uncomfortable with the jokes? the nicknames? what if he had a girlfriend and he didn’t know how to tell you that your relationship with each other would have to change? how would you even react to that?

you looked up at him, noticing the boy wringing his hands. despite this, you said nothing. maybe you could live in denial just a little longer.

“i have something to tell you,” james spoke suddenly.

you looked up, eying him carefully. “what’s up, j?”

james’ face flushed a light pink as he looked up at you sincerely. he swallowed thickly. for a moment, he stared at you. you both just looked into each others eyes and you were unsure what to do next. he’d never been this serious with you.

“you alrig—“

“i love you,” he blurted. “as more than a best friend,”

you would like to say that what you did next was completely intentional, but it wasn’t. as a matter of fact, you weren’t quite sure where it came from.

THUD!

you covered your mouth, looking in shock as james landed on the ground. he wasn’t terribly hurt, just shocked. you were shocked as well.

“that is…not what i expected,” james muttered, standing up and sitting in front of you again.

“what was that for?” he asked.

“i dunno…” you mumbled. “i panicked, i didn’t know what to say…”

james softened his gaze at you and a smile curled onto his lips. soon enough, you began to smile too. and then you both burst into laughter. after you both sobered up, you smiled at him.

“i love you too, as more than a best friend,” you finally replied. it felt like a weight lifted off your shoulders—you finally confesses your biggest secret to james. “just so you know,”

he smiled. “i’m glad to hear that,”

“wow, what a loser,” you commented playfully. “usually this is the scene where the guy kisses the girl,”

he grinned. “really? sort of like this?”

he pulled you in, your lips touching quickly. if this is what heaven felt like, you understood why everyone wanted to go so bad. you pulled him closer, refusing to break the kiss.

you broke apart finally. “yeah…like that,” you grinned.

“will you…?” james stumbled on his words.

you grinned, knowing him perfectly enough to know exactly what he’s asking. “yes, james, i will be your girlfriend,” you replied happily.

he smiled, pulling you in again.

he’d finally confessed it.

bonus;

“what’re you two doing?” you grinned, leaning against the doorway of your son harry’s room.

he threw down a card, glaring at ginny as she placed down her own card with a smirk.

“we’re playing uno,” ginny replied with a smile. “ron didn’t want to play so harry and i decided to go against each other,”

“how is it a muggle game and she’s beating me?! she’s never even played before!” harry exclaimed.

“you underestimate weasley’s,” ginny grinned. “we’re not as ignorant as you think,”

“well, it’s getting late you two,” you commented, glancing at the clock in harry’s room. “i don’t suppose you two plan on playing until the wee hours,”

“mum! we’re thirteen now!” harry groaned. “we can stay up a little later than nine-thirty, right?”

ginny nodded and shrugged. “i mean i’m twelve, but still…”

you sighed in feign annoyance. “fine, ten-fifteen, and then ginny will go sleep in your sisters room and you and ron will have to go to bed—sound good, you two?”

“but—“ harry began.

you smirked. your son—ever the clone of james potter, your husband. “let me rephrase, ten-fifteen, take it or leave it,”

“we’ll take it!” ginny replied quickly.

“yeah, we will,” harry smiled, glancing at ginny with a little glint in his eyes. you and james knew full well the future of harry and ginny’s relationship, even if no one else did.

“good, ten-fifteen,” you said warningly before making your way downstairs.

james lounged on the couch, clicking through tv channels. you curled up beside him.

“they’re doing the thing,” you commented, knowing james would know exactly what you meant.

“remember when we were that young and in love?” james grinned.

“aren’t we still young and in love?” you teased.

“not that young anymore, but in love? yes,” he replied with a smirk. you rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek, wrapping your arms around his chest and draping your legs across his lap.

“i’m glad it’s ginny, she’s a bold little lady,” your husband grinned. “just the other day, she defended your son against this kid at the little league quidditch try-outs, even punched his nose,”

“i know, harry came home and told me all about it,” you grinned. “all impressed and admiring, even ron saw how in love he looked,”

“well, we potter men love ballsy ladies,” james joked.

you rolled your eyes. “don’t i know it…”

[alargehunkofdebris]

The Unseen Apology Dynamic (And Dancing)

The thing about TV and media (and life in general) is that it can often give a biased, unrealistic look of a relationship simply by showing only a few days of it. This happens with reality shows, but it also happens with fictional shows. In terms of Good Omens, from what we’ve seen in the two seasons, we’re given the impression that Crowley is always the one admitting he’s wrong, with Aziraphale always waiting for him to come back and apologize.

Now, as far as this story goes, that is the case. We, narratively, need Aziraphale to have this arc of admitting he’s wrong about this very big thing he’s always been wrong about because the show is set up that way and this is the story it's telling. However, in terms of their actual relationship over many, many years, this has (likely) not been the set dynamic; I think the two of them have a very balanced history of being right and wrong, and admitting it accordingly. We have evidence, with the receipts Aziraphale provides about his frequency doing the apology dance, that he's no stranger to being absolutely in the wrong. In fact, there’s a good chance this is the first time Crowley’s had to do the apology dance himself in a very long time. With the vehemence that Aziraphale gave those dates, it sounds as though he had given the last several of the dances—there wouldn’t be any need to list them off with such vigor if the dance has been performed equally in the last 400ish years.

Now, I also don’t think Aziraphale is the only one that made mistakes in the past 400 years, either. That doesn’t seem right. It could simply be because Aziraphale just never pulled the “apology dance” card, and has always settled for a simple spoken apology or (more likely) food offering. The dance seems like a very Crowley thing to ask, because food isn’t as big an interest and speech isn’t something Aziraphale has any trouble with (unlike Crowley, who uses one thousand syllables to say three words).

I’d also believe that their dynamic is more “one who makes a lot of small errors, and the other who makes rarer, but heftier errors.” Crowley would get away with a lot of small apologies for smaller mistakes, whereas Aziraphale’s screwups are fewer, but bigger, and Crowley uses the rare occasions to have fun with it. He knows angels don’t dance, so he uses it as a unique punishment.

And as a kind of side note, this gives all kinds of weight behind him saying “You don’t dance” to the person he routinely made dance over hundreds of years. It’s quite a funny hidden joke, but it also just shows how their relationship is growing. I’m imagining B99, and Jake and Amy’s relationship pre-dating. Lots of jokes, lots of messing with each other. The apology dance is like the bet in the first season, with Jake forcing Amy to wear that awful dress on their horrible date. Then, later on, they actually have a grown-up conversation on the roof, where they learn things about each other, and it’s where their relationship really starts.

Crowley made Aziraphale do funny dances over the years as an apology, but only just finds out Aziraphale is the only angel who ever loved dancing. They know each other so well in so many ways, but absolutely not at all in other ways. They know how to joke with each other, have good conversation and debates, bicker and apologize in equal measure, know each other’s every tone of voice and current habit, but they still have past lives they’ve not even begun to unpack. That’s what’s happening now. It’s the best part of a relationship, really. The “learning about” phase.

They just need to kinda get over this slightly large speedbump before they get back on track.

[dinotoro]

i just knew

pairing : myung jaehyun x reader

genre : romance

subgenre : fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers

word count : 1.1k

summary : jaehyun and you have friends since the time big bang happened. you always felt that you two could be more than that. however, jaehyun's perspective on the situation was a bit different.

warnings : none

disclaimer : all character depictions are fictional and in no way represent or depict the actions of the real people.

permanent taglist : mochamvgz , nyxvrse , luvistqrzzz , hyhees , sngvhs

footnotes : this fic is dedicated to my lovely baby sis cinny aka mochamvgz. this was inspired by that one scene in s8 of b99. this was not proofread. i hope you like it <3

release date : October 26th, 2023

The earliest memory that you had featuring Jaehyun and you were when you two were five years old.

It was a pleasant spring day, and your families had decided to host a picnic in the nearby park. Little Jaehyun was told to share his candies with you. Even though he was reluctant, he pushed a lollipop towards you. You smiled widely and accepted it, thanking him softly. 

At that moment, Jaehyun felt happy that he shared it with you. 

You, on the other hand, were not so compassionate. Since childhood, you hated sharing your things. So when you noticed Jaehyun staring at your last piece of french fry, you felt protective over it. His lips formed a slight pout as if imagining himself eating that. With pleading and puppy eyes, he looked at you. 

You just turned your head away and quickly ate the last piece. 

You had turned around to see Jaehyun’s reaction and saw that his eyes had turned glassy with tears. Even though something tugged in your heart, you just walked away and sat somewhere far away. 

Cut to middle school, when both of you were a bit closer to each other than before. You used to sit beside him and would love to annoy him. He used to say that the purpose of your birth was to be a menace (you could not disagree with that). He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the little shenanigans. 

The banter continued till high school. You would present him with a muffin, only to take a bite out of it before him and giggle. He would pout, but would secretly enjoy it. He would let you eat the rest of the muffin while tugging your stray hair strands behind your ear.

You would feel your heart racing, and wishing something you had been wanting for a long, long time - that Jaehyun would become more than just a friend. 

When college started, both of you almost stopped meeting. Your heart would hurt, but the situation was out of your hands. Jaehyun was pursuing his dreams of becoming an idol, and you were ecstatic to see him excelling in the field he had always wanted to go in. However, a small part of you yearned to be back to those days when it was just two ordinary friends and not a successful idol and his boring best friend. The insecurities would build up, slowly crumbling your confidence to ask him out. 

~

It was your twenty-fifth birthday and Jaehyun wanted to surprise you. He was in charge of driving, but won’t tell you where he was taking you. You were feeling curious and impatient, but he would only smirk. Seeing you fidgeting restlessly and behaving like a little baby, he kissed your cheek and kept driving. That was an effective method, for your insides were churning and you were feeling warm. 

He parked his car a little far away from the location and told you to close your eyes. He kissed your cheek gently again and led you to the place. 

When you opened your eyes, it looked vaguely familiar. Jaehyun could see the gears clicking in your head, and replied, “This is the place our parents brought us to for a picnic. It was our first meeting.” Your eyes widened, and you wondered what he had in store. 

He handed you a lollipop, and suddenly all the memories started to flood back. You thanked him softly and started eating it. Jaehyun asked, “When were you going to confess to me?”

You froze. He smiled gently and said, “When we were in high school, I remember that you had written a small note where you had confessed. You thought you had discarded it, but you had kept it on my desk. At first, I was confused, wondering if it was an accident or whether that was your way of confessing. But when I saw you not saying anything or even anticipating any reaction or reply, I understood that you did not mean for that note to reach my eyes. However, the cat was out of the bag.”

You turned towards him, your teeth holding onto the lollipop like it’s your emotional support. Embarrassment coursed through your veins, and your palms started to sweat. You took the broken lollipop out and said, “I am sorry. I was…scared. I did not want to ruin our friendship.” The sunset looked beautiful, the breeze gently blowing Jaehyun’s hair askew. The last rays of the sun illuminated his face, giving him a golden sheen. He looked perfect, and you felt something heavy pit in your stomach. 

He kept looking at you, a small smile adorning his face. He was waiting for you to continue, and expression encouraging you to do the same. You said, “I mean look at you. You are so perfect. You are a great son, a great friend, a great idol, a great leader… I could never compare. How could I even ask you for something, when I knew I was not worth it? Look at your status and look at mine. Wouldn’t it be a harsh joke? Wouldn’t my rash decisions and feelings ruin everything?” As you were telling him about your feelings, you could feel tears rushing into the corners of your eyes. Jaehyun noticed this and hugged you gently, to which you rested your head on his chest and cried. It felt good to finally confess, but at what cost? Did you lose everything now? Did you lose him?

Jaehyun kissed the top of your head and hugged you tightly. It felt like he had returned home, in the arms of his loved one. He said, “Y/N, you should not jump to conclusions like that. You know I love muffins, but I always let you eat those. I love french fries, but you love them more. I would gladly sacrifice all my french fries for you because I love you more, and seeing you happy after eating them is better than eating them myself. I know that for you, it might have a slow realisation, but for me, it has been you. It has always been you. It will forever be you. I love you.” 

You looked up at him, your mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. He was slightly teary too, but those tears were of joy. He kissed your forehead and smiled widely. He knelt on one knee and asked, “M’lady, will you be my girlfriend?” You nodded, and he got up and hugged you again. 

You might have taken some time to see the blooming love between you two, but for Jaehyun - he knew. He always knew. 

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 02/25/2024

Nerdie! You saw it right! He won! *hugs tightly*

Yes he did! 🥰 We're all so happy for him! Finally!

We're also buzzing about how he looks like he's on the cover of a romance novel. Maybe on a ranch, maybe in the 1800's. It's a pretty versatile look. He likes his deep V's....

As we all should. Also, I'm taking notes on that. *scribbles*

Anything new besides, well clearly pirate adventures?

Pirates have scurvy and Pedro is well nourished so none of that. Other ideas for his characters. Ezra and Pero might have scurvy though. I did manage to write some this week. It's been busy. 👀 Ugh...real life stuff. Nothing major. Just needs to be done.

Nerdie's fics:

Guiding Light (Ezra one shot - I was chatting with @lady-bess and had the idea for this. I always have Ezra in some crime. 😎)

Lunch is happening right? (Part two of my summer romance Javi G fic. Not sure how many parts.)

He told me his name (Din Djarin x plus size female reader) I wrote it after reading a new Din fic by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (will be listed below. I'd still call it moody because despite writing, I still have trouble with my vocabulary. 🤣 It is pretty though. I'm working on a follow-up since people asked 👀)

Can't win carino (Javi G one shot - for @i-own-loki because she gave me the idea and the moodboard so I ran with it.)

The Man Next Door (Jake Lockley one shot for @megamindsecretlair because she kinda asked, more like I asked her what she wanted in it. She asked for action and smut. I might try more action in fics later.)

Get a room you two and BONE (Part two of my Tim Rockford comedy series which now has romance? I binged too much B99, watched a bit of Castle and a few episodes of Kojak with my mom. The insanity will only increase with part three but maybe there might be some growth between Tim and Doc? Or a hippo.)

Nerdie I thought you said you were busy....that's six fics...

I was and some of them I had been working on for a while. I also had some insomnia (that lead to parts two and three of the Tim Rockford fic). Anyway, on to the main event! 😘

Nerdie's fic recommendations! or things I read this week. 😄

14 x kisses by @trulybetty (Jack Daniels x reader) Part of her 29 days of valentines for February.

Sorgan Girls Are Easy - Solo Din Djarin by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (the fic that inspired my Din - her Din has 100% more smut)

Half of you - chapter 3 by @foxilayde (Santiago Garcia x fem. reader) Slow burn series - love it and trying to read it slowly to savor it.

Falling for you by @toomanystoriessolittletime (Javi Pena x fem reader) A bittersweet read that had me wonder what was next but I was hopeful.

Sunday Naps by @javierpena-inatacvest (Frankie Morales x fem reader) More proof that cuddling with Frankie leads to wonderful things.

Poe Dameron falling in love with his shy best friend (GN reader) by @i-belong-to-the-stars What one hopes for if you're shy and you're in love with those curls...er Poe. 🫣

Mystery Strain by @rebel-held (Dieter Bravo x GN reader) All kinks are valid and who doesn't love Dieter with a belly? 😘

Bulletproof by @laurfilijames (Jax Teller x fem reader) She wrote poetic porn with feelings. I was overcome, titllated and confused.

A girl walks into a bookshop by @oonajaeadira (Ezra x fem reader) Soft Ezra with a bookshop, yes please! 😄

Beneath the mask by @saradika (Din Djarin x fem reader) A medieval knight Din...so where does one pick up the velvet dress?

Loneliness by @sirowsky (Pero Tovar x GN reader) Pondering Pero in your local Park? Highly recommended for Valentine's Day.

15 x cashmere by @trulybetty (Joel Miller x GN reader) What thread count was it that encouraged Joel to hop in bed in such a state? For my personal file. 👀

He sees you by @maggiemayhemnj (Joel Miller x reader) This writer will tell you she just loves words. I would argue that the words love her in a unique way that makes you see the things. 💜

16 x dance by @trulybetty (Tim Rockford x reader) I pictured him dancing with the reader in his trench coat. @secretelephanttattoo (El) is to the holsters as I am to the trench coat. 🤣 In my mind.

Quiet Moments Collection by @secretelephanttattoo (various Pedro characters x reader) It’s the small instances that you think don’t matter, that are the most meaningful.

Plus One by @always-andromeda (Frankie Morales x fem reader) Always a fan of two idiots in love, even with their spat.

A Strange Fate by @youandmeand5bucks (Silva x fem reader) Two people who came together because of life circumtances. Are they really satisfied?

A Beskar Valentine by @firstofficerwiggles (Din Djarin x female reader) Awesome username, it makes me giggle. Din will be ten steps ahead and still fifteen behind when it comes to matters of the heart. My guy is an overthinking champion.

Seven by @lokischocolatefountain (Javier Pena x reader) A simple discussion about children leads Javier to a drastic solution.

To be Explored Later by @legendary-pink-dot (Frankie Morales x fem reader x Santiago Garcia) aka Ms. Curls if ya nasty! 😘 Somehow I missed the gem of a sandwich. How the reader was able to think about anything is beyond me.

Red Light Glow by @missredherring (Lucian Flores x fem reader) This man has me and @rhoorl keeping track of his silk shirt and gold chain. We would accept his call. The guilt would go away too quickly if we felt it at all. 😌

Incarnadine by @iamskyereads (Pero Tovar x fem reader) This Pero has me swoon with his care toward the reader, his love of baths (I just want him to soak and relax - he's been earning coin!), and his word choice. This is another person that words appear to favor. 💜

Not like I fangirled over these writers this week or anything 👀

What on the docket for this week Nerdie?

Part three of the Javi G summer romance

Maybe...Roc & Doc part three I don't like sitting on finished parts but then I whine about having no motivation for the next part. 👀 I make no sense.

March is toward the end of the week so my March Spring Prompts will start! I scheduled the first six days I think. I got anxious about getting behind (which isn't the point of doing them but anxiety doesn't care) and did some in advance. I like how they're coming along and that they're short. Unlike this update. 🤣 They won't have summaries, but will have warnings, tags and notes.

And because I hear series and I think "I should start another one!" I decided to write an Ezra series. How did I happen upon our favorites prospector/scoundrel/reluctant father figure? I've been reading works by @morallyinept @maggiemayhemnj and @magpiepills

Ezra intimidated me because of his language, but actually, I think I'd get along with him because he puts on a persona with a great deal of performance. It's the audience's job to figure out if you're serious or not. Or at least that's how I approached him. 🤨 This could go badly. I stuck him on the bayou with an air boat and I want him to cook gumbo. *full delusional achievement unlocked*

Special shout-outs to @connectioneverywhere and @soft-girl-musings for sending me lovely asks this week.

Also to @inept-the-magnificent who called Tim Rockford her sidepiece and I am still very tickled. 🤣

This update was long 🤗 Hehe

Love Nerdie ❤️

[televisionsavedme-blog]

If brooklyn 99 and psych had a crossover, Shawn and Jake would start out super competitive because they love solving shit and have big little man egos. But one-upping each other would be too much fun and they'd low-key enjoy each other's quips and maybe even make a few of the same references. And they won't end the day as besties because they both already have two men of culture for best friends (who would in fact bond on occassion, Charles would be impressed with Shawn but he'd try to suppress it because he is loyal to Jake, Gus is going to be super done with both of them!!) As would Henry but he'd appreciate that Jake does actual police work. Amy and Jules are gonna act embarrassed but they'd be competing on the down-low too. Lassy would want to impress Holt who might just chill with Karen, can't predict how Holt eould feel about the whole psychic stuff (my man is so unpredictable, also can't recall if there was a psychic episode on b99) Gus is going to be attracted to Rosa, more so when she rejects him, I feel like Gus, Terry and Holt might have some kind of a moment (because Psych was kinda like that) Terry and McNab are just going to remain wholesome and Gina will... well she'll be Gina to everyone. But we might see her chillin with Woody, just have some out of box conversation about a shady past idk. Pimento's a friend of Woody's don't ask why. Hitchcock and Scully have received an extensive list of eateries from Shawn and Gus and they are out exploring Santa Barbara.

Anyway, Jake and Shawn are going to part ways as competitors who kinda like each other but still say they're better than the other one.

[fimproda]

Day Four: Alternate Universe ✷ What do you think Nesta and Cassian's lives would look like outside of canon? How would they live in the modern world, a completely different fantasy world, or within the plot of your favorite book or movie?

@nessianweek

Nessian B99 AU - Part 1

Part 2 - Bonus

The story goes like this:

Nesta and Cassian are detectives in Brooklyn's 99th Precinct.

They make silly bets all the time. The bet that will end up changing the course of their lives is the one in which whoever makes more felony arrests in one year wins: Nesta gets to take Cassian's car, or Cassian gets to bring Nesta on a date. Cassian wins.

As promised, Cassian does take Nesta on the worst date ever. At some point, though, Captain Rhysand sends them on a stakeout, and the two share a silly goofy moment talking on a roof and eating peanuts. After a couple of hours, Rhysand offers to send a relief team, but Cassian — unbeknownst to Nesta — declines.

Things go as usual for months, until Cassian needs to go undercover in the New York mafia and he seizes the chance to tell Nesta that he kinda maybe sorta wants something to happen between them.

The mafia bust goes wonderfully and Cassian returns to the squad to find Nesta dating a colleague from another precinct, Tomas Mandray. He immediately takes back his confession and blesses her relationship with Tomas, even though he can't stop thinking about her — and the squad knows it, too, especially his best friend and fellow detective Azriel. But eventually, Nesta breaks up with Tomas, and then, she and Cassian find themselves "forced to kiss" — twice! — while on another undercover mission.

And, a while later, this happens:

I've exausted the gif limit for this post 🤡 so I'm gonna make another one right after this.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Captain Holt Plots (B99): RIP Andre Braugher

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

So as if this year hadn't piled enough death on me.. yesterday Andre Braugher of Brooklyn 99 fame died. Braugher was a comedic genius, great at drama and it's sad to see him go just as his career was having one hell of a second act.

Figuring out how to honor Andre.. was tough. I didn't have time for a full review of some of his best episodes, a story arc or the normal things i'd do, and a list of just Holt's best moments wouldn't really portray the characters depth. Don't get me wrong there's a LOT of hilarious little holt moments from "Hot damn!" to "Bam had it both ways" but it just didn't do the character justice. Holt was a character funny for his stoicism, his outburst of emotion clashing with that, and his chemistry with just about everyone on cast.

So I found a comprimise, something small I could do before my two bigger reviews this week, but something that still pays full service to what a great character Raymond Holt was... and how much of it was Braugher's amazing comedic timing and great dramatic talent. Ray MIGHT of existed without Captain Holt, but he wouldn't of been such a JOY to watch every time if it weren't for Braugher.

So I picked my 12 faviorite plots starring Captain Holt. Husband, Captain, Robot. Meeep Morp.

12. VINDICATTTTITOOOOOONNNN (Episode: Monster in the Closet)

Look a lot of this subplot making it here is this moment, from the fist pump to just how Braugher plays the word like an instrument, but the plot itself is comedy gold: Rosa Diaz, bisexual icon, is having a rush wedding to absentee boyfriend and human disaster Adrian Pimento, who returned after months in hiding the way anyone having a normal one does: by hiding in a child's closet.

Naturally this wedding didn't end up happening.. but it did bring us one of Holt's best running gags: his love of balloon arches. It's something that makes perfect character sense: he's a perfectionist, he loves art, and it's just weird enough to still be funny while not so weird you can't understand why Holt would be doing this. Holt pettily popping the ballons when crticized and going into a creative tailspin over minor critcisims is just gold and the payoff, him getting his VINDIIIICAAAATTTIOOOONNNNNN is both sweet.. and purespun gold from the highest of heavens.

11. The Disco Strangler Returns (He Said She Said) One of the serious episodes of the series, dealing with Amy and Jake tackling a sexual harassment case and Amy revealing her own assault, was paired with one of the series silliest, funnest b-plots.

This one COULD be here just on the strength of "And you'll here it again" but has way more to offer as Holt chases down his former nemesis the Disco Strangler after he seemingly dies, convinced he's alive while Terry and Boyle are convinced he just can't accept his enemey's death. Turns out their wrong though as the Strangler is alive, worked his groovy voodoo on a way younger woman and has one of the funniest scenes in the show as Holt TRIES to have a big action hero final talk with his nemisis.. only for the man to be largely deaf. It's a gag that shoudln't work but Baugher's commitment to the bit carries it, as does the reality of the strangler being so old and feeble hitting Raymond about his own mortality.

10. The Heists (Various Episodes)

Yeah this one's a bit of a cheat as it was hard to pick just one Heist Plot: After the first two their largely ensemble pieces. But it'd also be criminal to ignore just how SERIOUS Holt takes the annual halloween heists, from training his dog for them, to calling a fake replacement for Cheddar (the goodest of boys) "This bitch?", the Heists brought out the pettiest, hammiest parts of holt and the best of Braugher's comedey from threatning to slit his two protege's "from head to anus and wear them as a jacket", to his flight of the valkyries entrance, Holt was always a delight.

9. Pie (Two Turkey's) The shows final thanksgiving gave us it's best thanksgiving plot, and a nice spotlight on Holt's relationship with his Husband , kevin. Holt's queerness was baked into the character, being why it took him so long to climb the latter and why Kevin takes ab it to warm up to his new coworkers, as most of Ray's past coworkers were racist, homophobic or both. Holt and Kevin were just as weirdly stoic, with Mark Evan Jackson having great chemistry with Braugher.

The couple also just had their own weird things such as getting a special pie every year to get a pie for thanksgiving and finding the hours spent in dead silence on the trip deeply romantic.

Said pie is also what sets off the plot as it goes missing and Holt blames the presicnt and goes into full petty holt mode, one of the best kinds of holt. HOlt isn't the only star here as near constant fuckups and wallpaper Hitchcock and Scully prove useful for once as Holt investigates Rosa, Terry and Boyle. We get great moments from the three too as Boyle calls his own son "a basic bitch" and Rosa reveals an embarassing minons t-shirt as she rebonds with her family post jailtime.

Holt interogating everyone and going full ham would be enough to land it here.. but what elevates it to this slot is the ending: Holt finds out the culprit was Kevin, who hates the pie but would miss the drive. HOlt suggests simply.. taking the drive for fun and Kevin is super horny for that. It's adorable, sweet and a great capper to one of the shows best subplots.

8. Let's Never Talk About Anything (Stakeout)

This is a quick one as it's mostly on the comedy but it's a scenario that's both deeply, deeply funny, and involves one of the shows best duos: Rosa, the stoic bicon herself, and Holt. Both being stoic queer persons, they naturally get along great. And of course it's natural Rosa ends up the one in a very awkward situation through almost no fault of her own: Holt brings his cardboard standee of a human being Nephew named Marcus, whose staying with him for some reason never elaborated upon because Marcus is here for one thing: to date rosa and have one of the best awkward morning afters EVER: He tries to sneak rosa out.. only for Holt and Kevin to naturally both be up, and his using her full name and mild confusion are just.. great. The wrap up, that Rosa and Holt are both FINE not talking about this or anything ever, is great. The followup plot with the two forced into a dinner is fine, but this first interaction and the two being on the same stoic page is gold.

7. Apparently That's a Trigger For Me (The Box)

This is another one that has a strong moment couched in, but really the Box is just a very strong episode, a tense 22 minutes as Jake and Holt team up to try and get a confession out of a local dentist played by sexiest man alive Sterling K Brown, who does great getting under their skin, including with said doctor bit as Docterates are a bit of a trigger for Holt. the episodes fantastic chess match between our faviorite duo and Brown is just fun to watch and it's only this low because Jake gets the big finale. But Holt's oh damns are still vital. As is his over the top reservation cancelation. God bless this man. I miss you andre.

6. They never actually said No (Full Boyle)

Like, really, ALL of these there's a classic gag couched in here as Holt explains how he formed his black gay and lesbian police orginzation: he pitched it to his fellow entirely white and certainly straight cops who laughed their asses off.. then went ahead and got the funds since they were too busy being jackassses to say no. Dark, hilarious, and perfectly showing just how much shit holt's been through trying to get here.

And that background helps shape this plot which while not laugh FREE is mostly anchored on the good Captain's character journey: when a younger officer plans to challenge holt for predsency, Holt, as you'd expect digs in and refuses. He's not at full ham yet, but he's still fully willing to fight tooth and nail for this, that after all he had to go just to make this group, brian wouldn't understand

It's Gina of all characters who points out that's why he made the group. So younger officers wouldn't have to go through that. Brian has new ideas to genuinely improve and open up the doors for more queer black officers, and Holt recognizes that and steps aside.. though if he screws up he will impeach him. He's happy for him but he will impeach him.

5. I've Glanced At His Work Satchel (The Honeypot)

This episode's a-plot is just one long hilaroius bit of holt deadpanning as he gets a new assitant to replace Gina.. only to find the guy flirting with him. Having his tie slightly ajar and inviting him to a barrel museum counts as flirting in Holt's book. Turns out Gordon is a spy for our heroes latest nemisiss, corrupt comissioner kelly, and this brings this plot to ahead as finding out, and getting evidence hw as actively spying on them finally gets rid of the old bastard. It's a nice payoff.. but it's really here because Holt declaring a barrel museum an erotically charged atmosphere is classic deadpan holt. If you want premium deadpan holt, this is your episode.

4. Terry Come Here and Dangle Me Off the Edge of this Building (Bad Beat)

This episode is one of my faviorites, having both a lot of rich character stuff for holt.. and a lot of funny deadpan for holt.

This ep reawakens something that's mostly come up previously as a joke: holt had a serious gambling addiction in his past and when Jake and Terry come to him for help with a poker case, Holt's forced to join in as the two have obvious tells.

Holt's relapse is a nice mix of hilaroius and deeply troubling: he's betting on childrenj's gymnastics (No jayla don't drop the baton!) runs up to the roof when the pagent's cut off and as seen above wants Terry to dangle him over a roof.. Braugher does a hell of a job threading a very narrow needle here: Hotl's antics are funny, but still jarring enough to be worrying.. .and the laughter stop when Jake pulls the one card he has... he'll tell kevin, an idea alone that DEVISTATES holt as he can't put kevin through that again.

Unfortunately it's not THAT easy as Holt goes rogue.. then nearly gets captured, having to use improper grammar and admitting he needs help. Ther'es no easy answers here and while granted Holt's addiction never comes up again.. it's a sign addiction dosen't go away easily and everyone needs help.

3. The System (Moo Moo) Props to Brooklyn 99 as depsite being a cop show, it pointed out many a problem in the NYPD and police in general long before George Floyd made it too loud to ignore for us white dumbasses.

This episode is the main showcase of that: while the show had plenty of corrupt cops for our heroes to foil, Moo Moo shows the system ITSELF is broken and ther'es no easy answer to fix it.

The setup is simple, heartbreakingly common, and painful: Terry goes out at night in his nice neighborhood looking for one of his daughters "moo moo", her faviorite toy.. only to get accosted by a police officer, with only the fact he IS an officer making this end well.

Terry does try to handle this peacefully, inviting the guy to lunch, and trying to explain why racial profiling him like that was fucking awful. The officer dosen't listen, only thinks he was wrong because Terry is also a cop, and is generally a dick.

This leaves terry, who has a promotion on the table, with a fairly simple path: report the son of a bitch. Except .. HOlt dosne't send it in. Holt wants Terry to stay quiet, so Terry can get promoted. it's one of the oldest fights in a broken system: Should you make noise and take care of something horrible immdeitly, or stay quite and let harm go on so you can do more good later. The latter is clearly Holt's go to not out of corruption but out of survival: as a black gay cop, he had no real allies for the longest time, and thus had to simply keep his nose to the ground and work his way up to where he had real power. Terry on the other hand, argues, rightly that he dosen't want another man like him to go through this, one without a badger and that his career... simply isn't worth more innocnet black men being arrested falsely. There isn't an easy resolution with both acknowlding each others point: Holt supports terry and gets the guy fired, but Terry is passed over impliclty as a result and admits he could've impacted more change. Terry still did the right thing.. but it wasn't the easy thing. Police.. .simply aren't set up to properly police themselves and change is needed and it was noble of b99 to point that out without going over the top with it.

2. BOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE (The Skyfire Cycle)

Okay look while this plot is good on it's own (I"m teaching father the math!) it's up this high ENTIRELY due to the Bone Scene. You've seen it, i've seeen it, it's the reason this plot goes from "pretty good" with Rosa seeing through holt's math problem to his marital issues and need to get laid, and Amy trying hard to impress her dads and acting lik ea grossed out child anytime holt's sex life comes up. This bit belongs to braugher.. but you NEED Beatriz and Fumero to set it up so perfectly and react so great to it.

Rosa being rosa just comes out and says "You just need to bone" and holt LOOOSES IT.

Every line from that moment is pure poetry from Braugher's mouth, from his squeaky "what'dyousay" to his shakesperean "hooooowww dare you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER." and of course his glorious shouts of BONE and BONNNNENEEEEE while he VIBRATES ON HIS DOORFRAME. His quick yups in the resolution are the cheery on top of the greatest comedy sundae ever conducted by man. Sports. This subplot hinges on one joke.. but when it's the series best joke, it's REALLY hard to argue. It's only not #1.. because our #1 is CRAMMED with jokes near this level.

Ding Dong The Wuntch Is Dead (Ding Dong)

Ding Dong is one of my faviorite episodes of B99. Even it's subplot's grown on me with Terry bending a quarter in mid air and the strawberry basket. But let's face it while the subplot is.. kay, it's the main event that makes it a classic and when I do the inevetible top 12 list, possibly for feburary, this episode is almost guarnateed a spot for damn good reason.

If your wondering why I haven't brought up Holt's legendary rivarly with Madeline Wuntch it's because while their all fucking gold, their teid into larger plots. And while this one kinda is, with Wuntch's death wrapping up Holt's time as a patrol officer, it's really just there to sned the character off and give us one of the funniest episodes in human history.

Everything about Holt's petty rivarly with Wuntch that makes it one of the best thigns in the show is on display here and the shock I had to the opening of ding dong was palpable: Holt's making his usual jabs, calling her a korean tolilet ghost (and having gone to korea just to find new monsters to call her).. before Terry, trying and failing to head this off drops the bomb: Wuntch is dead. Naturally Holt dosen't buy it, assuming we'd hear the children singing (all the childrne everywhere), and having to see her body for himself. Given their rivarly and what an elaborate scheme Wuntch left FOR her funeral, it's not hard to see why.

What follows is the very best of petty holt from the glory that is BAGEL, BAGEL, to his assumption ET is a monster because "he caused quite a comotion), Baugher is at his PEAK this episode comedically, handeling his Rival's death with joy and too many lines to count, with Amy's horror and Rosa's unabashed joy at his pettiness being perfect bounce off points.

Add in comedy legend Micheal Mcdonald as Wuntch's nephew playing her rival, a fake funeral and an attempted funmeral full of balloon arches and bright pastels and you have one of the greatest peices of televesion comedy ever. Rest in peace Andre.... your dearly missed.

[running-with-the-feels]

as a lover of drunk kuai liang i need those headcanons 🤲

mwahahahaha yeeeeeeeessssss

complete lightweight, his only advantage is his size but still, he's gonna have trouble walking very quickly

Favorite drink is a cider bc it tastes like juice and isn't too strong, he likes apple ciders best

Has stages of drunkenness that Johnny has dedicated many hours of research to categorizing (think of it like amy from b99)

Stage 1: Tipsy Statue, he's feeling the effects of the alcohol but refuses to let anyone realize that so he just stays as still and quiet as possible (forgets to blink too, which is the give away)

Stage 2: Loosey Goosey, very relaxed now, will laugh more easily and kinda forgets that he's trying to hide the fact that he's a little drunk. Also gets tactile, like he'll lean against ppl and his need for personal space is drastically reduced.

Stage 3: Koala Bear, all inhibitions thrown to the wind, becomes a total chatterbox, Will sit on someone's lap (usually Hanzo's) and can also be easily convinced to dance nightclub style, much to his horror in the morning

Stage 4: Bed Time, now struggling to walk and stay awake (bc too much alcohol makes him very sleepy) one of the defenders (again, usually Hanzo) is charged with taking him home and putting him to bed.

Kuai Liang once spent two whole hours at one of Johnny's parties sitting in Hanzo's lap, resting his head on the guy's shoulder and playing with his hands. Hanzo was oddly silent during the entire exchange (wonder why)

Johnny used to take videos of his drunken shenanigans (rare tho they might be) until Kuai Liang broke his phone and threatened his kneecaps. Johnny has since backed off.

Has only actually been convinced to dance nightclub style twice (both times by Johnny) and the only reason it hasn't happened more often is because dude rarely drinks.

Hanzo spent the entirety of both situations watching and trying desperately to fight back the urge to either a) drag him off the dance floor and away from Johnny bc Jealous or b) go up there and join him which no amount of alcohol can get him to do.

Chatty, drunk Kuai Liang is so chatty, he's fully just lost his brain to mouth filter so he will just Say Shit. Most of the time its either complimenting Hanzo, thanking Jax and Johnny for their friendship, or insulting Raiden.

He also gets giggly, like everything is funny and he can't stop laughing.

never gets hangovers (or if he does, no one can tell) and everyone is jealous.

Tho he isn't one to be easily embarrassed, he is always mortified that the defenders have seen him drunk after the fact, which is part of why he doesn't drink often. The other and main reason is bc he doesn't like having his faculties compromised

Did once wake up in Hanzo's bed after one of Johnny's parties, panic, and race out of the house shirtless (bc he couldn't find it and heard footsteps coming) only to be told that Hanzo had tried to take him to the Lin Kuei temple instead but Koala Bear Kuai Liang refused to let go of Hanzo for even a second and so eventually (bc he needed to sleep damnit) Hanzo just gave up and brought him back to the Shirai Ryu to sleep there.

"How did I end up shirtless then?" "You said it was, quote, 'too fucking hot in here,' ripped your shirt off, and then wraped around me like an octopus" "..........."

That's all I've got rn, but I can think of more, lemme know if y'all want em.

[silverwarewolf]

🥀 - Favorite unusual compliment? (ie "You're crunchy")

💎 - Favorite thing about yourself? (Appearance, personality, etc)

and

🎀 - What character do you feel represents NPD best?

:3

Yes, yes, thanks for the ask!! For the many questions!! I love answering questions!! Ask game here.

I have the same energy as a hamster who is being studied, sometimes. Which does tie into the first question.

🥀- Well, I love compliments in general. Surprising, right? (/sarcasm). But this is about unusal compliments. There's one that I have gotten textually which was "you need to be studied in a lab," and honestly, yes! It reminds me of that one scene in b99 where Gina has the attention of an entire group of professionals.

There's also the category of compliments that are normal ones but said in a freaked out tone. For example, when I mention some strange and unusual fact and people are like "you're so knowledgeable" but they have visibly been dealt psychic damage by what I just said. It's fun!

Last but not least, frogboiling. "You talk so much about [strange and unusual topic] that I like it now / am desensitized to it / think about it sometimes" is HELL YEAH from me. Alas, I suppose it starts to veer away from "unusual compliment" territory.

💎- I feel like a cat who has been given a sack of catnip?? Hello?? Mm, well. is it cheating when I say "my vibe"? Perhaps if I specifically say "being reliable / dependable / a role model," which I know I am.

I've taught people how to cook / bake. I've taught people how to paint and write and sew. I am always ready to offer good advice, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, etc. I have very sharp senses so I can help people identify smells / flavors / sounds from really far away / who is walking nearby. I know various methods of healing! And uhhh I also think I'd make a great parent someday teaching so many skills - and singing, boy I can't wait to sing lullabies I know they would love my lullabies.

🎀- hmm! hmm hmm hmm let me think... i rarely retain information about characters who are canonically disordered, and there's also the whole "good representation" nuance aspect... not to mention that i'm sure my other disorders also change the ways i act, lmao!

all this to say that this comes from a personal feeling of "oh yeah it would be so tasty if this character had npd, they own it, i love it."

of course, shout out to my boy narcissus who was so upset about the inexistence of clonefucking that he died <- GREATLY EXAGGERATED SUMMARY OF THE MYTH at least the version i know

Okina Matara, from Touhou Project. Ah, I could ramble for hours about this series if given the opportunity, but I shall not. Instead, quote the wiki, she has no mercy for disrespect and graciously blesses those she favors, is ostentatious, prideful, confident, self-centered, a mastermind of incidents, has connections to MANY parts of the lore and mythology, and ultimately her first appearance was all about drawing attention and reverence to herself. Plus, she has a canonical connection to disabilities!

Yukari Yakumo / Maribel Hearn, also from Touhou Project. Ditto, I will mostly quote the wiki. She is a mastermind, has incredible intellect, very abstract and private goals, a facade of whimsy and deceit while also actively enjoying making others fear her, and is generally considered as someone who calls the shots. She also has quite the flowery language. Furthermore, as Maribel, she is othered for her tastes / demeanor / abilities, and textually calls herself a celebrity who should be indulged.

Asuka Langley, from Evangelion. Mainly Soryu, as I've yet to watch the rebuild movies, but from what I hear, they don't change her personality that much. Anyhow. The very explicit need for attention and praise, and huge dependance on her self worth (and others' acknowledgement of her worth) is very npd to me. Granted, given the nature of Evangelion, going in depth about the characters' psyches is... a complex venture.

Lapis Lazuli, from Houseki no Kuni. Oh boy oh boy I LOVE HnK, it has such WONDERFUL themes of body horror and existentialism and peace. Anyway. Quote the wiki. He has a charming, leading personality, extremely smart, curious, and at times manipulative. They have been called surprisingly deceitful (could conceal secrets for centuries). So yeah, I love him.

Ahaha, I rambled on quite a bit, didn't I? Again, thanks for the ask!!

[dogttpurmament]

Quarter-finals day 4

Cheddar: B99! We all know him and are hoping he doesn't blow this for us. This dog is very well trained and a good boy

VS

Scooby-Doo! We all know who Scooby-Doo is! Part of the mystery incorporated gang goes around the country in a hippie van and destroying rich people. What's more to like?

[mrhowells]

Smallville 5x04

LOISSS MY WIFE IS BACK!!!!

Shut up Clark no one was hoping she'd stay in Europe longer, you just can't deal with her greatness

"Actually, I just ran into Mrs. Kent at the Talon and right out of nowhere, she asked if I'd like to move back into the farm😇". "Yeah right." "...😇" "...Really?"

AHJKHSJS PLS THE FACE JOURNEY

Lois: 1 - Clark: 0

See that's why we need Lois, it immediately turns into a comedy and Clark gets more personality.

LOIS BIKINIJFKSFJAKJK

BRO. HOLD ON. Was the AC actor on b99 as young Scully?? PLS that would be so funny.

the prettiest girl I've ever seeeen🎶 from the cover of a magazineeee🎶

like????????

she's still insulting the guy who saved her I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE OKAY

and the Lana/Lois scraps I liveeee (but also, why didn't we get more, where is the humanity?)

"He can swim faster than I can." HEHEHEHEEHEE😈

Professor Milton Fine? I don't think so

He really just compared Lex to Hitler, BRO💀💀

Same Clark, same

"I got a buck." "Yeah? You should use it to get some fashion sense."

lmaoooo

LOIS STAHP I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS

It's actually beautiful, you can see her come up with her next burn in real time

"You know, this, uh, whole orange and green thing you got going? Looks like Flipper threw up."

Gooodd I'm in love with her

SHE CALLED HIM FISH STICK I'M-

"You were turning blue." "It's a good color on me."

LOIS STOPPPPPP I NEED TO BREATHE😭😭

THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER? DUDE SAMEEEE

no because they actually have great chemistry

wdym German philosophy is easy DO YOU KNOW THE TORTURE I WENT THROUGH IN HIGH SCHOOL??? DO YOU??

stop why am I shipping Lois and AC they're so cute together😭

HELP

Lois if he falls into the water, shouldn't you jump in after him??💀

I really feel like they made the change in Lex too abrupt which is kind of a bummer because they had a great setup for it after Lionel tried to kill him at the end of season 3.

"You really don't listen, do you?" "No, I try not to, I find it distracting."

AGAIN, I LOVE LOIS AND THEY'RE CUTEEEEE

some of his pickup lines are really cringy though💀

not me getting invested when I know this isn't going anywhere😭

"LOIS??!?!?"

perfect timing Clark

Clark: 🧍😠

"Lois is all over this guy. And all we know him is that he can swim faster than I can."

jsdkdjHkas HE NEEDS TO GET A GRIP BECAUSE WHY DOES HE SOUND ANGRY AND NOT CONCERNED😭💀

I can't

Chloe: listing perfectly normal things about AC like him being on a swim team

Clark: Does he have a criminal record?😠

"I don't know what it is about this guy but I get a bad feeling."

Mmmhhhmmmm okay yeah...

CLARK DON'T EMBARRASS YOURSELF PLS

Even Lana is so done with his shit I'm crying

"Do you really believe that or is that just a pickup line for the girls?" "Clark!!!!"

RIGHT IN FRONT OF LANA LIKE-

you can't make this up😭

PLSSSSSS

Okay Lois he would totally attack AC because he's jealous (and he kinda did💀) but he wouldn't straight up invent lies about him, come on.

OOOOh is this actually the first time we hear the nickname boy scout? (I don't have the best memory so I'm not sure😅)

not AC calling Lex "bro"💀💀

"One day of college and he's already an activist."

PLSSSSS

Again, I think they could've set up this plot a bit better wrt Lex's reasons for selling that weapon despite the damage that it causes.

I'm sorry but this is kind of funny

OK NOW I'M FULL ON LAUGHING

WHAT IS THISSSS😭😭

"Are you okay?" "WET AND READY BRO."

SHDAJKFHDHGWAUIFGQM W H A T ???

WET

AND

READY

????????

I JUST FELL OUT OF MY BED WHO IS THE LEGEND RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PIECE OF DIALOGUE I MUST KNOW😭

"Well, you didn't tell him about my pitchfork, did you?" "I defended you."

*brief pause from the comedy of it all to feel PAIN*

the way AC says "bro" takes me outttt

"Maybe we should start up a junior lifeguard association or something."

STOOP THAT'S WHAT BART SAID TOO (not the lifeguard part but you know what I mean)

This just in, JLA stands for Junior Lifeguard Association💀

STAY SUPER BRAH (I'll stop making fun of AC now I prommy)

noooooo Lois😭😭😭

welp, I shipped it while it lasted

(I'm still tagging this post as clois though because we all know who the OTP is😌😌)

"I was just trying to look out for you." If you say so👀

not to be repetitive but...

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS IN THIS LIGHTING????

"I've known a lot of guys who want to own the world. I haven't met very many who actually want to save it. How am I ever gonna meet someone like that again?"

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FALLING TO MY KNEES DO YOU GUYS EVEN UNDERSTAND????

That, exactly that is the reason she loves Clark (or will eventually, whatever) I'M GOING INSANEEEE THEY WROTE HER SO WELL😭

"Lois, I promise, some day... you'll meet someone even more special."

this episode was everything I needed and more

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Idk if it's just me but I LOVE the idea of the riddlers with a pet dog(most likely a small breed)that is there best friend and major weakness (I like to think there dynamics would be similar to Holt and cheddar from Brooklyn 99)but what do you think? How would the riddlers be with a pet dog?

"Riddlers with Dogs" Riddler Party Ask

Okay so I only ever saw like one or two episodes of B99 so I had to look up a Cheddar compilation. But I was chanting "dog" over and over again for this ask. Very excited. How they are with a pet dog plus the breed/mix.

Tw: animal abuse/neglect

Gotham

English bulldog mix. He gained a fondness for them after meeting Edward (Oswalds dog) a while back. Once he's further along in his career and he knows he can manage the care given his sometimes erratic schedule, he goes to Gotham animal shelter and finds a stunning lad to take home. And, in honor of his sometimes companion (sometimes lover), he names the dog Oswald.

Oswald hates this. He rolls his eyes once he finds out.

Oswald (the dog) gets a stunning green leather collar with a golden question mark tag along with his actual name and rabies tags. The inside is very soft for Edward's special little boy.

This dog is so fucking spoiled. Edward cooks it special meals to reduce gas problems associated with the breed and keep his weight in control. There's fancy fresh food in the fridge for when he doesn't have the time to cook and meal prep. Special wipes for his skin folds. Oatmeal and milk baths for Oswald's skin.

He gets the dog a special fucking pillow when he hears Oswald (the dog) snoring when he sleeps. His vaccine and medical records are meticulously kept. Yes he sleeps in the bed with Edward, usually curled into the small of Edward's back once he turns on his side. His need for a particular schedule is so nice with a dog because despite how lazy Oswald (the dog) is, he follows Edward religiously.

60s

Older corgi mix. Goofy looking, huge fluffy butt, and has ripped Batman's cape before. Straight up dug his teeth in and acted as though he was at least twice his size. This clever and handsome chap comes to be known as Pascal. He just sort of showed up one day in the middle of Riddler's heist.

Pascal is a speedy little old man, sometimes being used as a very short legged scout for Edward's schemes. Sometimes Edward wonders where his fluffy companion came from with his specks of grey fur and wizened eyes. One time on a very peculiar little adventure outside of Gotham in a rural part of the U.S., Pascal leaves the safe comforts of their vehicle to herd sheep out of the road. Then he hops back up and looks to Edward as if to say "I fixed it for you."

He's likely to have the most reminiscent relationship to the B99 dynamic where, if another villain tried to use Pascal as a bargaining tool, Edward would inevitably turn to Batman to save his little buddy! He can't just risk Pascal getting hurt! and he needs his arthritis medication soon or his joints will ache- His JOINTS, Batman!

As sad as it is to think of a beloved pet passing on, Pascal gets to live his last years loved and pampered. Warm. No pain and definitely never bored. There's a lot of wild adventures this old man gets to have. When he goes of old age, most of the rogues gallery and even Batman and Robin themselves attend the service.

Zero Year

Oh. He got a doberman. Intelligent. Sleek. Intimidating looking. He even named her Minerva. He was expecting a guard dog that stood wise as an extension of himself.

What he actually got: Neurotic. Separation anxiety. Practically jumps into his arms when it rains because she can't stand getting her feetsies wet. He does realize the irony of this given he'd flooded the city at one point. He opts to buy her little rain booties.

He chose not to have her docked or clipped- In truth, he was planning on the appointment when she was a puppy but last minute changed his mind because he thought of her cute floppy ears and curled tail being gone. If you ask, he'll say it's because he realized it was illogical since she's not a show dog and it has no known health benefits. It's bullshit.

She has emeralds in her collar. Highly trained in the sense that she never makes a mess in the house and drops anything she's not supposed to chew on. That and, despite her real nature, she can put on a show with her teeth on command to scare any idiots off.

What they don't see is her wagging, thumping tail when he info-dumps to her. Or practices lines. One of the few creatures on the Earth that truly doesn't care what a narcissist he is. His beautiful Minerva.

BTAS

Some kind of chihuahua-terrier mix. She shivers a lot. Edward takes the dog in from the shelter shortly after one of his stints in Arkham. Trying on taking a new leaf. Again. Maybe an animal dependent on him will keep him on his toes. She has a partly white fur pattern that reminds him of a lab coat. He names her Curie.

Given her namesake, Edward has taught her several commands in French if for no other reason then he thinks it's cute. There's something about saying, "Curie, allons y-" And hearing the pitter patter of her claws on the tile and wood floors.

He is that guy who buys his dogs clothes. In fairness, it's because she actually gets cold in the Gotham winters. Logically, that means she needs cute sweaters and coats! And little shoes for when it snows. Honestly, she's going to be absolutely darling and the envy of all the neighbors.

He loves cuddling in his lap when he's working on stuff. It's funny, she's almost like a house cat when she does that.

Will commit unspeakable acts if someone tried to cause harm to Curie.

Arkham

You ever see one of those snaggle-tooth little dogs missing a damn eye and you have no idea how old it is? The scruffiest little mutt you've ever seen. Breed is indistinguishable but it's on the smaller end. Wiry coat, looks like something just pulled from the dryer.

This little creature stumbles upon him shaking and soaking wet from a storm during the events of Arkham City. He almost feels pity for it, barely able to see due to the matting over it's face. He wonders briefly if it was a runaway or a dump. He pulls a small bit of jerky he still has in his pocket from earlier and gives it to the pup.

What he doesn't expect is for it to follow him. Even as he tries to shoo it away. No more food, you mangy mutt! Yet it continues to follow. Edward shuts the door to his hideout on it. He can see it on cameras waiting out there for him to come back.

With a frustrated sigh, he eventually opens the door and allows the creature in. Gives it a choppy but functional haircut to get rid of any matting. Feeds it whatever food he can find that won't make the dog sick. Eventually he finds out the dog is a male, maybe a year old.

He dubs the puppy Asimov after writer and biochemistry professor Isaac Asimov. He acts as though he doesn't care for the dog much, but every once in a while he praises Asimov for the little tricks he's learned and the cleverness he exhibits. He'd probably stomp someone to the ground if they tried to take this dog from him.

Telltale

Basset Hound. He got ownership of this dog by complete accident. Basically he was on his revenge mission, taking down someone involved in keeping him trapped by SANCTUS- He didn't realize the person had a dog. So now he was in a room with a corpse who failed his riddle and there was a very curious dog that wanted to bark and howl the moment he left the room.

So he took the dog. For everything that Eddie stands for, this dog is the opposite. He's dopey, noisy, and messy. A bumbling creature that lays down to roll over when Eddie asks it to sit. And yet... The moment he can't find something, the dog manages to show up less than two minutes later with it on the ground in front of him, nudging it with his nose.

The dog is named Columbo. Yes, after the tv show detective. He thinks it's funny given the dogs propensity for finding "evidence" where no one else can. Plus, Columbo on the show had a basset hound. It fits. No, Eddie is not a nerd, how dare you.

The dog has a special dog bed on the floor at the foot of Riddler's bed. He's very strict on places the dog can be and where it can sit and lay. He's a strong believer that dogs shouldn't just hang out on furniture. This is struck out when there are thunderstorms because Columbo will howl and cry until he's allowed to bury into the bed under the covers with his dad.

For every complaint he might have about the dog, Eddie absolutely shows him off and brags. They start to resemble each other in their wrinkles.

2022/Nashton

Pitbull mix. She was chained up, cropped ears and way too thin. He'd found her while doing recon on some low level mook for one of Gotham's drug lords. He looked into those big sad eyes, and he managed to sneak her home. He names her Ada Lovelace or just Ada after the first computer programmer.

It was actually difficult at first because she was fear aggressive and very shy. Lots of snapping at him and trying to hide. He understood that feeling. With a lot of patience and him teaching her that he's not a threat, this pittie would become a wiggly lovebug that tackles him at night once he comes home from riddler nonsense. Full slobber on his glasses.

Ada helps with his depression because unlike the rats (unfortunately) she can cuddle with him at night and ooze devotion and love at her master. There's something so healing about the unwavering loyalty and warmth a dog can offer. Plus he can tell her anything and she still just rolls on top of him wanting belly rubs.

He would kill someone for this dog. If anyone hurt her, he would probably torture them on stream and make it A Thing that they were a dog abuser before rocking their shit. Then full body hugs his baby while she wiggles in his arms.

[henqtic]

sundays . draco malfoy x black!reader . wc: 482.

authors note: decided to clean out some of the stuff in my drafts :)

·:*₊‧ masterlist . taglist form . request works . ·:*₊‧✩

“so you really just sit with oil in your hair all day, and it helps?” draco asked from the other side of the bathroom, washing all of the hair grease, black castor oil away, a concoction of oils you made up on your own, and whatever else it was he’d helped you apply off of his hands.

this morning, like many others, hadn’t taken him long getting used to. all windows were open and free from the containment of blinds and curtains, the smell of soft bleach lingered through the halls and your body was no longer loosely weaving into his clinging one.

hours ago, he’d helped you clean at the little crooks in between the walls and counters, lit the candle as you sat yourself down in one of the stools and allowed him to make you both breakfast. sundays, became what he liked best when you moved in together — it was always the same and he was always eager for the last part.

for sundays, became hair and clean up days. more often than not, he’d tucker himself out and go back to bed until you woke him up for a glance at your hair, or an opinion on the next still — or fight off the sleep and sit concentrating in the bathroom along with you as you worked your magic.

this was the first time though, that he’d seen you apply all that you did. instead of simple mini twists or braids, it was a hot oil treatment, deep conditioning, protein treatment, and more oil. the result being an afro, beautiful and reaching out to the sun.

a breath left your nose, light in amusement as he asked the question for the second time with more awe than the last.

“yes draco really, it’s an extremely good thing within black communities for people to tell you that your hair looks oiled,” you confirmed, walking yourself to him drying off his hands and placing a kiss to his neck in thanks for help.

“i was so… uhm what’s the word?” you tusked, trying to jump start your brain “culture shocked? when i realized some people used that as an insult. like with you, when people told me that draco malfoy had the greasiest hair in the whole castle i assumed you took really good care of your hair.”

“really?” he smiled, his neck reddening with a blush.

“yeah but then it just turned out you abused the hell out of that gel.”

“alright, if you wanna bring up the past — you can just clean the bathroom all by yourself,” he shrugged, placing his hands on your hips to move you out of the way and start walking to your bedroom.

looking to shower that resembled a murder scene… but with strands of hair and too expensive conditioner, you reconsider your words.

“oh baby, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it, please— ”

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