#big guy schlatt

[stonedficz]

✰ star shaped ✰ ch. 3 ❛is what i know true?❜

[schlatt x streamer!reader]

ch. 1 / ch. 2 / ch. 4

a/n: this is mostly revised. if you see something - it’s more than likely intentional. like and comment! luv u all! eat up bbs, momma made DINNERRR

You were both up all night.

You were planning. Podcast ideas, videos, scripts, guidelines, blog posts - everything. You planned to make the best of the opportunity you were offered with your favorite person, your crush, your everything. You had so many feelings about him. Parasocial love, deep admiration, all of it. You were obsessed. He was a star.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

He didn’t know why. His feelings swirled in his chest, making their way down to his stomach. He played with the hem of his shirt for hours as he sat at his desk, catching up with b-t-s work for things like GamerSupps, his pc company, and his channels. He almost felt anxious. Anxious? Him? Sometimes, but rarely. His stomach twisted in a knot the more the thought of you came into his mind.

“The fuck is wrong with me,” he breathed out heavily, glancing down.

2:00 am

“Shit.” He leaned back in his desk chair. “I’m hungry as fuck, I don’t know why I’m still up, AND I can’t do shit till tomorrow because everything’s fucking closed.”

riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing

click

“Ted?”

“Yea bud, what’s up? Everything alright? You never call this late. Hell, you barely call.” Ted tiredly chuckled through the phone.

“Look, iii don’t know man, somethin’ just…” he sighed in confusion, holding his forehead with one hand.

“Genuinely, Schlatt, are you okay? Like do I need to call someone or is this just.. stress?”

“No man, I’m fine. Fuck. I just, did something and I’m not stressed I’m just - God, I don’t even fucking know. I think I’m just hungry. I didn’t do anything BAD, I just, y’know, made a choice and now I’m unsure, I guess.” He sighed, leaning back into his chair.

“As long as everything’s fine, then okay. Go get some grub man. Maybe smoke some weed, if you want. If only you were in LA...” Ted’s voice gradually raised in playful pitch till Schlatt interrupted,

“Alright, fuck you.” He chuckled.

click.

That was how most of their calls went. He got up and towards the kitchen, setting his phone down to grab some leftovers to heat for a late dinner. He looked back down at his phone while his food was in the microwave.

"shit." he ran his hand over his face, hearing the microwave beep. His eyes were locked onto his phone. "What is it with me tonight?" he spun around to open the microwave door and retrieve his dinner, when all of a sudden, he heard a

ding.

His eyes darted to his phone. Who could it be? He didn't have notifications on for anything but friends, and everyone he knew was asleep, or busy.

His eyes squinted.

From here (the microwave) he could see an icon on the notification. Instagram. Now, who would be messaging him at this hou-

He saw the username.

-

cookkizkill

hey! sorry for sending this message so late, but I got the pod map together. just a bunch of ideas. i'd like your thoughts on them when you get the chance! let me know if you'd be avaliable to call sometime tomorrow (really, today, since it's .. the morning)

-

He hesitated.

He shouldn't reply now. It was unprofessional. It would make him look bad. Well, maybe not bad, but weird. He shouldn't reply this fast to someone he didn't know.

But he felt like he knew her. Six months of reading messages, having one sided conversations through donos, and watching her youtube videos - it all added up to a perceived feeling of knowing.

"Oh God." he looked down at Jambo in defeat. "I'm a parasocial freak, aren't I, Jambo? Am I just like her?"

"Mow."

"Fuck you too, you little shit." he sighed heavily and picked up his phone.

There was no use in hesitating. If bad things were to happen, they'd happen no matter what they did. The same for good things. His small actions - so long as they were well-meaning - truly were just that. Well-meaning. He had nothing to lose. God only knows he WAS the uncancellable man of youtube, anyways.

-

cookkizkill

i also wanted to say thank you. i don't want to run you off with any sentiments, but I genuinely appreciate you offering to do a collab with me.

something like this both means the world to me, and has the chance to change my life. I've been watching you for a long time - to have an opportunity like this - something like you were given, makes me really happy and proud of myself. im super excited to get to do this pod!

jschlatt

i appreciate that. You're a sweet kid. We can call in the morning, go ahead and add me on discord @.jschlatt and we'll get to talking. I'll be ready to discuss everything by 11. My lawyer got the papers back from you so everything is good to go.

-

He could go to sleep now. He was okay. Whatever he felt earlier had mostly dissipated.

You blacked out after reading that text. Literally, from exhaustion and shock, your nervous system just powered down and helped you out. You had been laying in bed thinking about him, this, and all your feelings for hours. Hours. You hadn’t eaten dinner, you were losing your mind, and the worst of it was, you didn’t even take a shower. You were gonna be so pissed when you woke up. Oh, no, you weren’t. You were gonna call Schlatt. How could anything upset you?

Schlatt ate his leftovers and went on with his night, very quickly falling asleep after finally eating.

Eleven a.m. couldn’t come any faster.

-

You were ready by 9. Dolled up, dressed to the nine, perfectly calculated with notes, thoughts, and words (as well as some fan questions teehee), sweating in anticipation of meeting your favorite person - your role model, etc. You couldn’t imagine what this would be like. You got prettied up just in case it was a video call, but you figured knowing him, it would be audio only. Knowing him..

Did you?

Who’s to say he’s never been true to himself online. Maybe, even theweeklyslap project was simply to provide an alibi. He could be fake. You could be getting scammed. God, that would hurt. You’d drop out if this was fake. In fact you’d probably do meth, if this turned out to be fake. It would rip you apart.

You wished he would rip you apart. If you could even get into the same area code as him, it might satisfy you. There was a growl deep inside of you that wanted him. Not particularly sexually, either, but something that ached. You were desperate. Humiliatingly so.

You didn’t know what it was. His hands? Arms? Shoulders? Posture? Face? Whole body? Irresistible personality? Maybe it was because he acted like a douchebag. You liked douchebags, based off all your ex-boyfriends. Maybe he was as sweet as condensed milk, and he just didn’t show it.

Maybe he was what you wanted. Maybe he wasn’t. You didn’t know - nor did you care. The clock struck eleven, and you saw his user come online. You called at 11:00:30. Thirty seconds past eleven, so as to not be overtly early.

He probably didn’t notice.

He did.

“hiiii!” you exclaimed happily, and sweetly.

“Hello, hello. How’s it going this morning?” he chuckled sweetly. He had a gamersupps shaker in hand. On brand.

(Yeah, he had no clue you were recording this whole conversation. Teehee.)

“It’s so good! I’m so excited! This is an amazing experience, being able to discuss a collaboration with my role model. How is your morning? Have anything good to eat?” your heart was pounding out of your chest. Your hands wrung themselves under the desk you sat at.

“Well, you’re one for small talk, huh sweetheart?” he smiled and chucked. “I had some eggs. They were pretty good. Seasoned ‘em well too. What about you?”

‘oh my god’ you bit your lip as you nodded and ‘mhm’d’, though he couldn’t see you. ‘he’s so.. UGH.’ your stomach flooded with butterflies. It’s everything you hoped it would be, in these first 4 sentences. That is, meeting him.

“Ah, you know me - too busy grinding to eat. I just had a snack.” you smiled and laughed, opening up your notes. You were shaking. Vigorously. Something about this - what was it? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Was he flirting?

No, never. That’s not like him.

Well…

“Take it from me, good meals fuel the soul. You need ‘em to make good content.” he sighed. “Now- why don’t you hit me with your ideas here? Whatcha thinkin’?” he purred slightly. He genuinely sounded excited to talk about this proposed podcast ep.

‘oh my god. his voice.’ you groaned in your mind. This was almost painful. You were given exactly what you wanted, unfortunately. You got your cake.

Now you can’t eat it.

“So - here’s my thoughts.” your voice shook. Oh, God, were you going to reveal your hand? How nervous you were?

“I’m thinking we do a cooking episode. Y’know, how you guys did those video podcasts? But the kicker - we’re at our own places trying to cook the same recipe, seeing who can get it closest to the original picture, and or taste.” your voice continued to shake. The look on your face was, needless to say, scared. You were so nervous. The performance anxiety got to your bones - terminal. You felt like you were drowning in emotion. You could scream, cry, shake vehemently, all the big things.

Well, at least your camera wasn’t on.

“Ooh. Okay, okay. I like the idea so far - Jambo, fuckin’ stop - shit, hold on.” you heard him rustling. “Look at this fucker.”

He turned his camera on.

He held jambo to his chest and face. Your jaw dropped, and your eyes shot open. You were SO screen recording this. Quickly, however, you collected yourself and turned yours on too, snatching your own cat from beside your chair so fast he almost got whiplash.

“OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDD!” you screeched. “I love Jambo!” you shot your head back while you held Jeremy (the cat) on your chest. “I love your cats.”

The next words to leave your mouth would be life or death.

“You like my pussy?” you chuckled, rotating the chair enough for Jeremy’s dumb face to be visible in the camera. This was a terrible, terrible joke to make during your first impression.

His eyes went wide for a split second. Involuntary. You caught it.

He hoped you hadn’t.

He shut his eyes, tipped his head, and jutted out his lower lip in appreciation for the bit. Jambo head butted him.

“Dumb fuck, that wasn’t meant for you.” he scoffed, putting Jambo down. “Anyways, I do like the idea. I think that would be good for my first cameo on your channel - y’know, just to tease the people.” he tipped his head to the side in thought out approval and nodded.

“I appreciate that!” you smiled with your whole face, breathlessly.

‘wait.

first cameo? FIRST? FIRST? WHAT THE HELL DOES HE MEAN FIRST?!’

“You know I gotta ask, though -“ your breath hitched. You couldn’t breathe. You coughed impulsively to try and make yourself have the strength to speak. “What do you mean by ‘first cameo’?” your lips twitched into a small, knowing smile. God, he was easy to read sometimes. You knew him too well parasocially.

“Oh, you know what I mean sweetheart. Don’t play dumb.” He furrowed his brow and looked directly at the image of you on his screen with a small smile, “Your fans - even if there isn’t a million of them - all know you love me. How insane would it be for you to show them you know me? Either way, I’m down to collab more because I have an appreciation for what you do. You stay true to yourself, it’s something to respect.” one hand rubbed his obviously freshly trimmed chops.

‘did he shave to call me? was his plan all along to show his face?

did he want to see mine?’

You were silent. Awestruck. Breathless. All of it. How were you SUPPOSED to react?

“Schlatt, how did you feel - “ you choked slightly. “- how did you feel when you met your idol, Mr. Sark?”

“Like I was gonna shit my pants. Why? Did you shit yours?” he chuckled, taking a sip. He smiled slightly deviously.

“Yeah. It’s all over the floor. Actually, I shit so much that my cat drowned. You didn’t notice, but, earlier he jumped off my lap and fell right into it like it was quicksand. Gone forever.”

He chuckled breathlessly for just a few moments. “What the fuck are you even going on about?” His brows furrowed again as he continued to laugh for, like, no reason.

“You’re fuckin’ stupid. I think we’re gonna get along.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. and YES, I almost did piss myself. This is all just - I don’t know, it’s cool! This is my dream, getting to meet you. It’s insane to me that I was granted this INSANE wish. I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“Maybe you don’t.” he sighed. “Maybe you’ll never blow up, or get any semblance of a fan base -“ his words rolled of his tongue. He smacked his lips. “but, the opportunity is here. Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to revel in this idea; concept, even, that you just don’t deserve it?

Make the best of it. If this doesn’t help you out, at least you met your ‘idol’, and gained an acquaintance.” he raised his brows as he looked closer to the floor in thought, pursing his lips.

He’s said this before.

To who? He wasn’t the sentimental type, from what you could tell. Not for a stranger.

Is some of this what he told himself all those years ago? When he first blew up?

“You give some good advice. I feel like I’m on theweeklyslap. This is, well, an honor.” you smiled sweetly. The more you talked to him, the more calm you got. You were still excited, but something about him told you that you were safe. “Let’s plan to do this next week? Next Wednesday, if you’re free?”

“You call, and I’ll be ready, toots.” he nodded his head with his brows furrowed in serious sentiment.

He let a small smile crawl onto his face. You knew he was looking at you again.

Your eyes squinted as you smiled in intrigued confusion. “Perfect. I’ll call Wednesday. I’ll send all the nitty gritty details over so you can be really ready.” you nodded back, an even more confused, and apprehensively happy smile spreading across your face.

“See you then sweetheart.”

Click.

[theramfather]

Listening to chuckle sandwich is so funny because I'm trying to walk through the store and and all i can hear in my headphones is a 20 minute deep dive of Schlatt talking about wearing "size 13 steel toes timberland boots"

[stonedficz]

IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH I LOVE IT

[clearlynormal]

Woah :0🎀

WHY IS HE JUST THE MOST PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING ON EARTH!! STIMMING ISNT ENOUGH I WANNA SQUISH HIM LIKE A STRESS TOY

[notschlatt]

[x]

[schlattslambo]

drunk words, sober thoughts || schlatt 18+

a/n: im really sorry for the delay 😭 please enjoy

warnings: female!reader, rough sex, choking, hair pulling, unprotected sex, belt used to tie hands together, the word cunt used a few times

——————

“say that shit again and we’re breaking this bed,” jay’s words send heat directly between your legs.

“make me scream,” you smile, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip.

jay growls low in his throat, his hand wrapping around yours. your smile grows as he puts pressure on your neck, leaning down and pressing his forehead to yours. his breath fans out over your lips.

“you drive me absolutely fuckin’ crazy toots,” jay saya before crashing his lips down to yours in a heated kiss.

jay’s teeth sink into your bottom lip as he tugs on it ever so slightly, eliciting a mewl from you. his fingers comb into your hair, tugging at your scalp so your head goes back. you let out a moan as he nips along your neck. his nips and kisses trail down to your collar bone.

“this is in the way,” jay mumbles, ripping your dress down the middle.

you gasp loudly as you go to yell at jay for ruining your favorite dress, but he does the same with your bra, instantly bringing one nipple into your mouth.

“j-jay!” you yelp.

“i’ll buy you another one,” jay mumbles against your skin. “i’ll buy you anything you want.”

his sweet words continue to warm you up from the inside as his tongue and mouth warm you up from the outside. he licks up the center of your chest to yours collarbone before nipping and sucking at your skin. he blows over the now growing mark making you shiver.

“get on with it,” you whine, pushing his head toward your crotch.

in response, jay whips his belt off.

“hands,” he orders.

you stick your hands out and he binds them with the belt.

“hold them above your head,” jay continues. “if you move them, you’ll get punished.”

you nod, licking your lips. “yes sir,” you respond.

jay continues to kiss down your body. by the time he gets to your waist, you’re squirming. despite the growing need that you have, you keep your arms above your head. you love being worshipped like this, even if it drives you absolutely insane. jay’s cheeks are still flushed from the alcohol, and his eyes are glazed over. not from drunkenness, but from carnal desire. he’s never looked so hot.

your thoughts are halted by your panties getting yanked down your legs. you glance down and jay licks his lips as he spreads your legs. you feel shy for a moment, not even sure why. jay’s seen you at all possible angles and loves every bit of you. he loves you from your head straight down to your toes.

jay smiles at your wetness. your eagerness for him. he spreads you open gently, watching as your cheeks flush, just like they always do when he gets a good look at you like this.

“you’re so beautiful,” he rasps. “so, so wet for me.”

with that, he lies on his stomach and kisses your thighs. he holds your legs open as they tremble. one swipe of his tongue through your wetness makes your back arch as you gasp loudly.

“j-jay!” you gasp. “fuck!”

jay chuckles against you, tongue circling your clit. the nub quickly swells from the stimulation and he sucks on it. your hips buck up into his face as you cry out. jay looks up at you from between your legs and you feel him smile against you.

your eyes are screwed shut and you’re biting your hand. it’s cute, how much you’re trying not to cum already. a finger teases your hole, gently pushing in. with one adjustment, jay grazes along the spot that makes your vision blur at the edges. he pumps his finger a few times before entering another finger. this step is necessary because no matter how wet you are, you have to prep for his thick cock.

“j-jay,” you breathe. “another one. please.”

“such a good girl, using your manners.” jay smiles, taking his mouth away from your clit just long enough to speak before adding a third finger.

your back arches at the stretch, pussy fluttering over the three fingers that are buried inside of you. you reach back and grip the pillow behind your head in an attempt to keep your hands from gripping jay’s hair.

“s’close jay!” you cry out.

in an instant, jay’s fingers are out of you. your pussy pulses over nothing as you whimper.

“so mean to me,” you pout.

jay chuckles as he takes his pants down.

“i’m gonna be rough with you tonight, toots,” he says. “okay?”

his grin falls as he asks. he doesn’t want to hurt you, as rough as he wants to be. he wants to ravage you, but he doesn’t want to really hurt you in the process. as his brown eyes bore into yours, you smile.

“tell me its okay to fuck you as hard as i can,” jay pleads. “i need to fuck you into the mattress.”

at your nod, jay is on you. his cock is lined up at your entrance instantly and he kisses you with such passion that it takes your breath away. he pulls away, cock sliding into you. he doesn’t just have a long cock, but it’s thick too. when you first had sex, you were sure it would rip you in half. now, you love being literally impaled by it.

“fuuuck,” jay moans, forehead resting on yours. “your pussy feels so good baby.”

you moan and bring your lips to his as he bottoms out. you lift your arms around his neck, the belt binding them at the back. jay starts thrusting as the two of you kiss, growling as his thrusts get sloppier and harder.

“hands above your head.” jay orders.

you comply and he holds them there while fucking into you. his hips snap to yours as his balls slap against your ass. his cock is hitting every single spot in your pussy, making you see stars.

“fuck, i need you over the bed.” jay says as he takes the belt off of your wrists.

you do as you’re told, getting up and bending over the bed. jay slaps your ass, forcing you to yelp. he’s quick to smirk at the pink now blossoming on your cheek in the shape of his hand. he rubs the spot before his hand comes down on the other cheek.

“j-jay, please fuck me!” you plead, gripping the sheets. “fuck me as hard as you can!”

without a word, jay slams into you again as your toes curl. his hand goes to your hair, yanking your head back. you arch into him as he fucks you. jay leans down and growls in your ear.

“my beautiful slut,” he smiles. “you love when daddy fucks you like this huh? with his cock buried deep in this pretty cunt of yours?”

the way you clench around him says everything you cant. pleasure shoots through you at the angle you’re at, and you fist the sheets as you’re fucked.

“y-yes!” you manage. “love it daddy!”

“yeah?” jay growls against your ear. “you love being treated like my personal fucktoy?”

you nod against his grip. “yes daddy!”

when jay is rough like this, it’s easy for him to get caught up in the moment. he never, ever talks to you like this outside of rough sex. and rough sex is a rare occurrence.

“god, you’re gonna make me cum,” jay grits through his teeth as his grip on your waist turns bruising.

“cum in me,” you breathe. “fill me up.”

jay takes your head and shoves it into the mattress as his thrusts get sloppier. he’s chasing his high and you’re not too far behind.

“g’na cum!” your words are slightly muffled due to your cheek being smushed against the bed.

“cum for me,” jay says. “cum all over my cock.”

as you begin to unravel underneath him, you feel jay’s cock pulse inside of you, painting your pretty insides white. you scream in pleasure, toes curling and a grip on the mattress is nearly ripping it.

jay lays on top of you after the two of you are spent, breathing heavily into your ear.

“god, i love you so much.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear. “you mean the absolute world to me and i am so happy that i get to wake up next to you every day.”

you smile with your eyes closed, heart still thrumming against your ribcage. “love you so much baby,” you mumble.

jay gets off of you and helps you up, ignoring the fact that his cum is literally dripping from you currently. the two of you are sticky from sweat and flushed. you’re pretty sure the sex sobered the two of you up, but you aren’t sure.

“c’mon,” you say as you extend your hand out. “lets shower together.”

so you do. you take the time to wash each other’s hair, kissing and softly touching each other. this results in jay literally kneeling with his back to the water as you writhe against his mouth against the tile.

once all is said and done, the two of you snuggle in bed. jambo and the other one snuggle together at the foot of the bed while the two of you wind down. jay’s arm is around you as you listen to his heartbeat. you’re both sober, having had ordered chinese and taken some pain killers just to be on the safe side.

“hey babe?” jay’s voice comes out softly.

“yeah?” you ask, looking up at him from his chest.

“when i said that i cant wait to marry you?” he asks. “I really meant it. do you think you’d wanna get married one day?”

you sit up and kiss jay on the lips.

“of course, jay.” you smile. “i can’t wait to be your wife one day.”

that night, you slept in jay’s arms just like you did every night, but there was a deeper meaning this time. he’d said that he wanted to marry you. images of your wedding flashed in your mind as you drifted off to sleep, even with your future husband needing to take a whole boob in his hand just to fall asleep.

[sketchy-doge1]

Schlattboy

[breadly-art]

Little sketch of Big Guy🐏

When he grins like that, it drives me crazy.

[jesterscourt-e]

Schladdy’s big naturals 🥵

[stonedficz]

✰ star shaped ✰ ch. 2 ❛ i've heard about you ❜

[schlatt x streamer!reader]

ch. 1 / ch. 3 / ch. 4

note: this has lots of music. the music helps set the tone for the story. There may be formatting errors, typos, etc. Please excuse them.

and SURPRISE! Due to the high volume of music linked in this chapter, the fic playlist is live! (this fic includes some of schlatt's music :))

[accept request?]

Click.

-POV: you. 10 am-

Inevitably, after the stream, I went to sleep. A nice calm slumber with schlatt's videos in the background. It was calming. I love his voice.

The next day came fast.

"Shit!" I ran out the door, late for my monday-morning class at college. Community. I wasn't exactly the high-achieving type. Well - I guess I was, but I'm not good at school. I was really smart, charming, and funny, but if I have to sit down to take a test, I might have a panic attack. The student rep's office didn't care, either, and said I had to have a disability diagnosis to qualify to even test in a separate room away from everyone else. I'm not disabled... just late.

I slammed through the doors to the building all but one of my classes took place in. Today was gen. ed., English. God, I hated this. What good was English class if I already knew how to speak it?

Using it to read and write, I guess. Cracking my laptop open, I managed to ignore the entirety of the lecture while prepping ideas for my next stream. THIS was what I aimed high for. Stardom. I hoped for it, at least. I never really thought I would be able to do it, I just wanted attention. Good attention - the kind that made people want to share their stories with you. None of that mattered anyways. I wanted a man. Schlatt. God, he was on my mind all the time. His hands.. his arms.. God, his voice. That man was so attractive I could drool. I needed him.

-General POV.-

As your professor droned on for 2 hours, you scoured the internet for ideas, help, and schlatt fics. You even pre-wrote some of your messages to schlatt. You were incessant. Right now, you were back in his DMs writing another sweet message. You worried this would drive him away - but he never came close to begin with,

what did you have to lose?

Your breakfast, apparently.

As you typed, you noticed something. Your breath hitched, hands instantly becoming clammy, shaky, and glued to your keyboard. Vomit crept at your throat.

Instead of seeing a notice - one that reminded you every day that he was out of reach - one saying "Invite this person to message.", you saw:

read yesterday at 10:48pm

"What." your breath hollowed out your chest like the hole Alice fell into. Your wonderland. You barely muttered that into the air at the back of the lecture hall. You slammed your computer shut, packed your bag, and ran out. You threw yourself and everything into your car, aimlessly scratching at your phone. You were desperate. Panicked. Nauseous.

-

cookkizkill

hi buddy! hope you're having a great day <3 I just finished recording another video for youtube. you're a great inspiration.

cookkizkill

hey babes! i just had my first stream. i got a few viewers. i try to imagine what you felt like when you first started to give me comfort when i worry nothing will ever come of this. i loved your most recent vid <3

cookkizkill

hi handsome! i finally hit 5 twitch followers. yesterday i hit 200 subs on yt. thank you for being a great influence!! i know i wont be huge, but I’m thankful i get a chance to share my life with people. thank you for your stream today! i hope to be on one with you sometime <3

read yesterday at 10:48pm -

"WHAT THE HELL?!" a blood curdling SCREAM croaked out of your throat. Thank God your windows were rolled up. You wiped the sweat off your forehead, leaned your head on the steering wheel, and held your phone. You shook. Panicked. Lost your marbles, for hell's sake.

"It was a terrible idea to ever message him," you started to hyperventilate. Tunnel vision ate away at your already poor, astigmatism ridden eyesight. Your eyes welled up with tears. You were so confused.

"What is going on? Why can I text him? WHY WAS MY TEXT READ?!"

Your head slammed back into the seat headrest. You had one person to call about this - your childhood best friend. She wasn't exactly reliable, or smart, but by God was she a party.

riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing click "Bex!! Oh God, you're not ready for this," "What are you talking about? What happened? Why do you sound so freaked out?!" "Schlatt read my texts. He accepted my dm request and now I can text him." "NO FUCKING WAY" "WAY" "AAAAHHHHHHH, Y/N, this is your DREAM! Get that sucker to collab and you'll be famous!" "It's more than that, though, I'm worried this is bad. Like he's gonna blast me on his stream or something. What do I do?" "You play the part, you get his ass." "Dude. Stop. I'm not scamming him. I WANT to be like him, not be his enemy." "God, okay, fine. But when you ain't got that bag girl.. don't come crying to me." "Alright, bud. Bye." "Byee~" click

"Motherf.." your eyes glanced back down at the phone. You opened up the chat again.

What now?

A short time had passed, just enough to get home and settled, but also enough to make you feel as if father time had fallen asleep on the job and forgotten to make the clock tick. You went home and got back to your desk. Maybe now you could gather an idea as to what was going on.

c l i c k c l i c k c l i c k

You desperately tried to find the words. Any words, actually. The only thing that came to mind was to be completely honest and truthful.

cookkizkill

hi again handsome! I saw that you accepted my dms; what's going on!

-

You waited. Very impatiently at that. The time couldn't go by any slower, at this point. You anxiously sipped water at your desk. Did I mention you were waiting?

Your mind travelled all the possibilities of this - it could mean nothing, he could be belittling you, suing you, or doxxing you. Maybe this was him begging you to leave him alone. Maybe he would invite you onto a podcast, and if it didn't pan out well, you wouldn't reach the air at all? Maybe he was proposing. No, that was a weird thought for even you to think. He’s a star, not someone normal like you. You clicked off your tab and slammed your phone down onto your desk. God, you were a wreck. HE wrecked you. Emotionally at least..

bzzzt.

You ripped your phone up from the desk with your nasty, clammy hands. You were drenched in sweat.

-

read just now

jschlatt

I have a lot of respect for someone trying to make meaningful content. I've kept up with your messages since a bit ago. Doing good dude. Keep it up. Let me know when you do your next pod and I'll ft. If you want to go through with this we can get all the details and paperwork set up with my lawyer.

-

“‘Doing good-‘ ‘Keep it up’? HE’S SEEN MY VIDEOS?!” You clawed at your beet red, sweaty face. “Holy SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIITTTT!” your screamed like a little girl meeting a disney princess for the first time. That was a mistake, as it was met by angry thumping on the other side of your apartment.

“Sorry!” You yelled towards the wall. Your crotchety middle-age man neighbor hated your guts for being loud. It was broad daylight, God forbid you make noise.

-

cookkizkil

i really appreciate that! i adore the weekly slap :) you’ve been a great influence for me doing everything i do. especially the live pods. they’re a GREAT deal of fun for me, and i know you try to do content you enjoy.

I’m sure you’ve seen me with my best friend, if you’ve seen any clips or anything, but we chat just for fun. i can get all the paperwork done today! when would you be interested in collabing? and do you prefer to do a fun pod or a more philosophical leaning one?

jschlatt

Up to you. I’m already established so idgaf what we do, do your content for your socials. I’ll be the usual.

cookkizkill

usual what, if I can ask? Also, i know YOU know, but don’t expect to make more than a buck (if that) off this collab. just a warning lol. my email is cookkizkillsocials@...com. send those bad boy legal documents over!

jschlatt

Me.

I’ll have my lawyer email you the forms. Money isn’t a motive here, you enjoy my podcast, I enjoy yours. Win win.

-

You almost pissed your pants.

"HE ENJOYS MY PODCAST?!" you absolutely screeched from your desk into your hands over your face. What WAS THIS? Was it a dream? A terrible, irresistible, divine dream? Your favorite person ever, whom you were utterly obsessed with, liked YOUR podcast? You slapped yourself so hard it would burn. Why? You didn't know, but by God, you came to your senses.

"I gotta get down to business. I need time with him. Content or not, this is going to fill every gap in my heart that ever existed. Holy shit. I can't believe this." your stomach fluttered inside of you, the weigh on your chest became crushing, all at the same time. "Holy fuck. I'm gonna meet schlatt. In person or online, one way, or another."

-

cookkizkill sounds great!!! let me get some plans pulled together over the next day or so and we can discuss this further. :)

-----------------------------------

-POV: Schlatt. 12:53 pm-

"She finally saw, huh?" he muttered to himself. He sat at his desk while he uploaded the latest VOD, hearing his phone buzz. He just guessed it was her. His phone didn't go off much. Just Tucker and him exchanging wordles every day, and that had already happened. What else could it be?

-

cookkizkill

hi again handsome! I saw that you accepted my dms; what's going on!

-

Well that was a let down.

"She's not freakin' the fuck out? Jambo, what the hell is this? Bitches love me. Why isn't she spamming me gibberish?" he chuckled to himself, rubbing the cat's head.

"She makes some good shit. She's normal too. Unless she's faking it, then whatever I guess." he scoffed. "Maybe.. nah.

Fuck it."

his fingers diligently typed a reply to you. He carefully worded everything, in the event you decided to screenshot, or let all of your 5 twitch streamers what happened. He scoffed again. "The fuck am I even doing? I know I shouldn't.." he backspaced a few letters, his breath hesitating as he stared at his screen. "..What would 200 people on youtube do to someone like me? Nothin'. It'll be fine. Bitch probably won't even say yes."

He thought back to about 6 months ago, when he first read your message. You were a frequent stream watcher, donator, and you messaged him everywhere, all the time. He knew it was you, your handle was the same on every platform. You were unmistakable. Obvious. Incessant.

~~~6 mo prior...~~~

"Damn. She fuckin' likes me, huh?" Schlatt looked at ted and showed him one of your many dms, holding his phone out to him. They both let out a deep chuckle, having a few drinks with Tucker at the end of recording one of the few Chuckle episodes left.

"Yeah bud. Just like the other 13 women that watch you." Ted snorted, sipping. "I do think it's sweet though, y'know? All these people genuinely look up to us sometimes. Means a lot to me." He took another large gulp.

"Let me see!" Tucker said in a drunken stupor. "I'm a member of this podcast, by God! Fuck you!" Ted pat him gently on the back as he started hilariously laughing after yelling at Schlatt.

"C'mon bud, I'll get you upstairs. You know your wife is waiting. She went to bed three hours ago." Ted chuckled softly, smacking Tucker on the back as he tried to stand up. "BRB schlatt."

"Yea, fuck 'em. Fuck you too tucker." Schlatt drunkenly chuckled. He looked back down at the message he showed his friends.

"well, maybe.."

His thumb hovered.

[accept request?]

"Nah."

Click.

~~~now~~~

-

jschlatt

I have a lot of respect for someone trying to make meaningful content. I've kept up with your messages since a bit ago. Doing good dude. Keep it up. Let me know when you do your next pod and I'll ft. If you want to go through with this we can get all the details and paperwork set up with my lawyer.

-

He started to scroll through your Instagram. Photos of you, your favorite people, your cat, your car. You had a small black tabby and a shitbox of a car. You acted as if they were the best things in the world when you posted. Why? Grateful for the little things, Schlatt guessed. Maybe you grew up poor. Maybe.. you were just a good person.

You two were messaging back and forth for a few minutes. He let you know he didn't care about the money. You were a small influencer doing something he deeply respected: what made you happy. Now, it was all on you to get the podcast episode together. He would just sit and chat on it - no leg work needed. Easy money. Or lack thereof.

He went on your youtube. The only thing he kept up with was this. Vlogs, GRWM's (which he didn't particularly enjoy, but he wanted to see what you were all about) VOD's of the lives you deemed genuinely entertaining, recipe videos, everything.

"This chick's still got her whole damn life on the internet, huh?" he snorted in confusion. "The hell?" he glanced down at the very bottom of your channel, starting a year and a half ago. He hadn't seen this before.

"To the people who sparked my inspiration:" 15 min. 4 sec.

"Well, you got my interest sweetheart. I'll bite." he sighed with a small and unintentional chuckle. His finger hovered over the thumbnail of your sweet face.

Click.

"Hey guys! This will be one of the first videos I really get out there, but in the event I randomly blow up hehe, I needed to get this out!

I'm starting my freshman year of college soon.. I never wanted to go, but I know it's what I should do. I don't even know what I'll be going for. I don't really know what to do. One of my favorite people has a similar story - except he dropped out to follow his own path. I may end up doing the same. I don't know what my future looks like, but I do know I'm gonna do my best to GIVE myself a future, and to make it authentic. I want a community."

He listened to all 15 minutes intently.

You had him hooked.

[theramfather]

I'm gonna be real, I would 100% watch the apocalypse movie Chuckle Sandwhich has been talking about. Ted is apparently the main character, Tucker is the mechanic who has a plane, and Schlatt is a Russian millionaire that exploited the fear of the zombies as a way to make money and accordin to Ted "a chair with Rubles stacked around him and women on his lap"

[schlatt-love-bot]

I NEED more Schlatt smut😫 you write it so good. Ive seen hc's that Schlatt would call reader Momma or Ma, both in a sexual and non sexual way. Think we can do somthing with that?👀

Absolutely I think we can do something with that! Just thinking about Schlatt grumbling out “momma” in bed….PHEW! I apologize, anon, for how long this took me to get out there, I honestly wanted it perfect before posting…here goes nothing! 

IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT CONTINUE READING! NSFW CONTENT!

“Old black water, keep on shinin’..” You hummed to yourself, dancing around the kitchen as you cleaned. The holidays had just passed, and you needed to do a deep clean of your and your boyfriend, Schlatt’s, shared kitchen, as it had seen so much action in the past few days—hosting dinners, cookie baking, pie making..the list goes on. That, plus, you were tired of seeing your holiday decorations up, it was almost February and all they were to you was a solemn reminder that the holidays had come and gone, and now you had to wait a whole year to enjoy the warm, fuzzy feelings they brought you once more. Schlatt had asked you to wait for him, knowing you would climb up on countertops you definitely shouldn’t in order to get things off the tops of the cabinets, but you didn’t listen to him. You wanted to surprise him with a nice, clean kitchen when he was done work for the day, and so there you stood on one of the countertops, winding up string lights and taking down pine garlands off the top of the cabinets, singing along to Black Water at a quiet level, as to not disturb Schlatt at work.

Little did you know, Schlatt had stood in the doorway to the kitchen for a good 5 or so minutes now, just watching you. Watching as you stood on the countertop, completely entranced by the music you were playing, dancing in your little pajama shorts and sleep shirt. He knew he should be pissed off at you for both not listening to him when he asked you to wait for him, as well as for not listening to him when he specifically asked you not to go climbing on countertops, but he couldn’t help himself from standing and enjoying the show you were putting on. Every so often, you would scoot-shuffle yourself in a way that made your shorts peek just enough that he began to develop a taste for what was now on view for him. 

“I’d like to hear some funky Dixieland, pretty mama come and take me by the hand!” You sang ever so slightly louder, standing on your tiptoes to reach a very tucked-back deer ornament you needed to grab to properly dust the tops of the cabinets before hoping off. As you reached, your socks betrayed you, causing you to slip, losing your balance and falling off the counter, heading to the tile below. You braced yourself for the impact…that never came. 

“Alright, pretty momma, you gotta start watchin’ yourself…what did I tell ya earlier?” Your cheeks flushed as you opened your eyes, realizing that you were not on the ground, but in fact in Schlatt’s arms, as he called you “momma.” A chill went down your spine, as Schlatt raised an eyebrow at your flushed expression. 

“What’s wrong, toots? Cat got your tongue?” He teased, shaking his head at your flustered state before he gently lowered your feet to the ground, his hands finding their familiar place on your hips. 

“Nothin’, baby…my bad.” You managed to say, shaking your head as you tried to clear your mind once your feet were firmly planted on the ground below. He let out a laugh, rubbing his thumbs against your hips before retorting. 

“Nothin’, really? I can tell something’s brewin’ in that pretty little head of yours. Spill…”

“Nothing, really, baby…just like the new nickname is all.” You admitted, cheeks burning a brighter shade of pink as his eyebrow cockily peaked on his face. 

“Liked bein’ called, momma, huh? I think I can use it more often for ya if ya’d like…” He said, teasingly, as he pulled your body closer to his. “Can’t believe you…not listenin’ to me, wagging your little ass up there on the counters…specifically what I told you not to, huh?” 

“Someone had to get it done around here…you’ve been too busy working to help me take down all the Christmas decorations, y’know.” You groaned, taking a step back to put the ornament still in your hands into the box, turning to face him again. “Too busy working to help with other needs too.” 

He hummed, cocking his head slightly before looking you up and down. 

“What typa needs are we talkin’, baby?” 

“Oh, pretty boy…you know exactly what type of needs.” You purred, slowly stepping closer to wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you, so you’d be at the perfect spot to whisper in his ear. 

“I’ve been so needy for you, Jay…and you’ve been nowhere to be seen…doesn’t sound fun, does it?” Your warm breath on his ears sent a chill up and down his spine. Unable to speak, he shook his head, knowing exactly where you were going with all this. 

“Think it’s about time pretty boy gets punished, don’t you?” Your fingers lightly traced his jaw, before gently bringing his face to look at yours. 

“Yes, ma…” He said, his voice no louder than a whisper, as you smiled. 

“Good boy…now…take us to the bedroom, hmm?” Almost immediately, Schlatt stood tall, wrapping your legs swiftly around his waist, not wasting any time by practically sprinting to the bedroom while keeping your legs locked around him. You let out a giggle, clearly you weren’t the only one who was feeling a bit hungry and eager.

Once inside your bedroom, he instinctively plopped you down on the bed, hungrily connecting your lips, needing to feel your tongue against his with a groan. You laughed, slowly disconnecting his head from yours with a tug of his hair, looking at how swollen and desperate his lips looked from not even a full minute of making out. 

“Pretty boy…I think you’ve forgotten who’s in control tonight, huh?” His eyes widened, a blush spreading across his cheeks. 

“Sorry, (Y/N)…not used to all this…” You chuckled, ruffling his hair slightly before guiding him to sit down on the bed, hands slowly traveling down his chest to the hem of his shirt, playing with it in your fingertips slightly before returning your gaze to his hungry eyes. 

“It’s okay, baby..I know. Not used to seeing this side of me…but you’ve gotta pay for just how neglected you’ve left me lately..” You slowly began to peel his shirt off, admiring the body you loved oh so much before beginning to plant a trail of kisses against his collarbones. He hummed at the sensation, not used to being on the receiving end of all this affection…but he couldn’t deny that it definitely felt good. He brought his hands down to his pants, beginning to unbutton them as you grabbed them, forcing him to stop with a groan. 

“Nope…at my pace, baby. Not yours… keep your hands to yourself, and this will be a better experience for both of us.” You said, returning to his collarbones, leaving a trail of wet, sloppy kisses and a mixture of scattered hickeys, some in not so noticeable areas, others…were definitely going to be seen. He groaned watching you, knowing you were really going to drag this one out. You giggled against his skin, your hands trailing up and down his sides as your mouth left his collarbones, trailing down his chest, meeting the start of his happy trail. His breath hitched, as you lifted your face up, looking up at him. 

“What do you say, pretty boy?” 

“Fuck…please…” 

“Please, what, baby? Use your words…” 

“Fuck…momma please…need your mouth on my cock, like…now.” He said, the words sheepishly leaving his mouth…he wasn’t so used to being wrapped around your fingertips like this. You hummed against his skin, pressing a kiss to the top of his happy trail once more, looking back up at him. 

“Say it like you mean it, big guy. What do you want me to do?” He hissed, watching your mouth reconnect with the sensitive skin of his lower belly, nipping at it to leave a little mark of love for only he and you to remember later. 

“Momma, please…need you to suck me off, bad!” His head went back into the pillows, eliciting a giggle from you as you swiftly licked your tongue from the top of his happy trail down to where his jeans sat, already unbuttoned due to his prior impatience. He squirmed under your touch, a string of profanities leaving his lips. 

“Good boy…sounds like you really need me, hmm?” You purred, pulling his jeans down to see his member already rock hard, tucked in a way that the head of his member was practically sticking out of the leg hole of his boxers, glistening already with precum. 

“Mmm…looks like somebody was excited…just as needy as I am, aren’t you, pretty boy?” You said, making a quick lick at his tip before palming him through his boxers, earning yourself a throaty moan from the man lying under you. 

“Fuck, please…need you..” His voice weakly trailed off, his senses becoming easily overwhelmed by just how badly he needed to feel your warm mouth engulfing his length. You laughed at how much he was squirming under your light touch, nodding your head in understanding as you finally peeled his boxers off his body, his cock quick to spring up, slapping him in the tummy as he left a bit of his leaking precum there. You hummed, standing on the edge of the bed as you licked your lips, watching as his cock twitched, waiting for any sort of sensation to come from you. 

“Such a pretty sight…my pretty, handsome boy. Don’t get to see you like this under me that often, huh?” He groaned, picking his head up slightly to look at you. 

“Please…need to feel you…” You hummed, crossing your arms slightly as you gave him a knowing look. 

“Please, please, ma…need your pretty lips around my cock…” You smiled, hearing those words sent a chill up your own spine as you slowly went to action, leaning yourself above him, lightly breathing on his hardened member, watching it twitch under your breath as he groaned above you. 

“Such a fuckin’ tease…” he whispered, praying you hadn’t heard. You smirked, rubbing your finger against his red tip, looking up towards him. 

“What did you say, pretty boy?” His eyes widened, feeling as your fingers stopped rubbing and began just holding steady pressure against his throbbing member, causing him to groan. 

“Nothing…nothing, please..!” He squirmed, needing to feel more than the steady pressure you were teasing him with, causing you to giggle. You shook your head, applying more pressure down on his throbbing tip, causing him to hiss. 

“Don’t be a brat, pretty boy…won’t take care of you if you keep actin’ up…” You muttered, staring him in his half-hooded eyes, to see whether or not he understood what you were asking of him. 

“Sorry…sorry, momma…won’t do it again, promise.” He whispered, his eyes pleading for you to do something, anything to give him some pleasure. You hummed, satisfied by his begging, nodding your head as you brought your hand back down to his hardened member, slowly beginning to stroke him from the base of his cock all the way to his tip. He hissed at the touch, lightly bucking his hips up, causing you to laugh at his needy state. 

“Pretty boy…watch yourself…I’ll stop right now if you don’t stop fuckin’ my hand…” He groaned, rolling his eyes as his head went back to the pillows under him, needless to say, he wasn’t used to the dominance currently dripping from you. A blush began to spread from his ears to his cheeks, making you bite your lip, quickening your strokes. 

“Look at you…such a mess in my hand…only my mess, yeah? You look so hot when you’re this submissive, baby…” You hummed, your eyes hooding over with your own lust…you began to feel your own needs growing bigger and bigger. He moaned at the combination of the dirty words leaving your lips and your quickened movements, his mind going numb. You smiled down at him, by how much his cock was twitching in your hand, you could tell he was close. Swiftly, you took your hand off his member, leaving him unsatisfied. 

“What…? What the fuck!” He whined, picking his head up off the pillows slightly, looking straight at you. You giggled, slowly climbing back up his body, your face hovering a few inches above his, a smirk adorning your face.

“What, thought I’d let you cum that quickly, baby boy? You need a taste of your own medicine…how long do you think I’ve been waiting for this myself?” You whispered into his ear, nibbling at his earlobe when you were finished. He groaned, rolling his eyes at you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, ma….please..! I promise I’ll…I’ll do better…fulfill your needs…I…I..just..” He droned on, panting slightly as his mind couldn’t work hard enough to complete a single sentence. 

“You just, what?” 

“Fuck…need to cum, momma…please!” You smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips, deepening it slightly to taste him, gauge just how badly he needed you. He eagerly deepened the kiss with his tongue…giving you just a slight idea of how badly he needed you, your touch, your taste…you groaned into his mouth. Pulling away from him, you continued your trail of teasing kisses and nips all the way down his neck, across his collarbones, down his chest, back down to his happy trail, making eye contact with him once again. He groaned, knowing exactly what you were going to do, his cock twitching in anticipation. 

You licked from the bottom of his belly button down to the base of his cock, breathing heavily on it. He groaned at you once more, resisting his inner urge to lace his fingers in your hair and pull you down onto his cock. 

“Hmmm…I don’t know if you need me…what do you think, Jay?” 

“Fuck…I need your…your mouth on my cock..so bad, so bad ma…” He muttered out, eyes watching you full of a mix of anticipation and lust that drove you wild. You smiled, pleased with his answer.

“Good boy…now you’re gettin’ it.” You praised, quickly and swiftly taking his cock into your mouth, hearing his moans like music to your ears as you continued to take as much of his length in your mouth as you could. Slowly, you were reaching your choking point, causing you to wrap your hand around the rest of his length that wouldn’t fit. 

Keeping your eyes on him, you began to slowly bob your head up and down, using your tongue to add friction to the underside of his cock. He let out a low growl, instinctively bucking his hips up slightly.

“Fuck…s-sorry, momma…can’t help it. You…you feel so good..!” He grumbled, his eyes unable to open from the pleasure he was experiencing. You were enjoying just how much of a mess he was becoming underneath your touch, quickening your pace as you hummed against his hardened member. After bobbing for only a few moments, you felt him begin to twitch in your mouth…all the pent up frustration from your early ended handjob were shining through, he was close to release. You gave him a look, patting his thigh, a signal that whenever he was ready, he could cum. He damn near lost his mind at that moment, a string of profanities mixed with moans. 

“Fuck, momma! Gonna…gonna…!” He couldn’t get his last warning out before he began to paint the inside of your mouth and cheeks white with his seed, cursing out in a moan as he felt his release. Your cheeks were pleasantly full as you felt some of his seed slowly trickle down your throat, continuing your motions on his cock to make sure you got every last drop of his juices out from him. Overstimulated, he muttered nonsense to himself as his head dropped to his pillow one last time, panting hard at how intense his orgasm truly was. 

You popped your mouth off his cock with an audible “pop,” looking him in the eye as you swallowed every last drop of his seed in your cheeks. He smiled, eyes glazed over as he watched you join him on the pillows, still caught up in the high feeling he had gotten from his release. 

“Damn…maybe I need to call you ma more often…that was so fuckin’ hot, babe.” He panted, lazily looking over at you as you laid with a smirk on your face. 

“It was pretty damn hot, but…momma has some needs that need to be fulfilled, hmm?” 

With that sentence alone, his hunger was reignited in his eyes, as he sprung back to life, eager and more than willing to show his momma just how badly he appreciated her, and just how badly he needed to taste her, care for her.

[theramfather]

Schlatt is :-] because it's just a bit unsettling

Ted is B] and Tucker is :)

That is all.

[clearlynormal]

there's something so attractive about this...eye twitch

[notschlatt]

oh no, don't look

[schlattslambo]

neighbor schlatt being really loud one day, you guys have NEVER talked or spoke once and when you knock on his door and see a big huge man with mutton chops looking down at you, you literally feel like disappearing and feel extremely awkward asking him to politely keep it down, he’s just standing there kind of staring and apologizing and when he sees you suddenly another day he gets a really good look at you and finds you being his exact type and goes in for it and asks you on a little date as a ‘apology’

omg stop this is so cute!!! also i know schlatt doesnt live in an apartment but it works for this so shush

————————

“that’s a stupid card! how could that have won?!”

“fuck you mika! you cheating son of a bitch!!”

the words are slightly muffled, but they’re loud enough that they’re able to distract you from your book. it’s your only day off this week, and you just wanted to relax and read. but your neighbor decided that it was time to yell at his friends.

you had never even met the guy. you moved in about six months prior, and your schedules have never aligned for the two of you to meet. he was never loud or had any extravagant parties or anything, so you didn’t mind. even if he was kind of loud you probably wouldn’t have minded. but this was crazy.

it had gone on for hours, and when you still hadn’t finished the chapter that you started at 7pm, you decided to take matters into your own hands. the wine glass you were drinking from is slammed down, and the fuzziness that it gave your head was swimming with confidence.

you slip on your shoes and walk to the door, knocking loudly. the yelling stops abruptly and you hear footsteps. the confidence you have is slowly dissipating. by the time the door opens, you’re shaking. you have no idea who this dude is or what he’s capable of.

looking down at you is a large man with brown hair and mutton chops. his hoodie is slightly wrinkled and he has a yankees hat on. in all honesty, he’s quite attractive.

“yeah?” he asks.

“i, um, i live next door and,” you pause, swallowing. “and i was wondering if you could maybe tone down the yelling?”

as you stumble over your words, he looks at you. he had no idea someone lived in the place to the left of him, so he hadn’t even thought to put the soundproofing tiles on that wall. he’s silent for a moment before realizing that you’re done speaking.

“oh, yeah, sorry,” he says as his cheeks grow flushed. “i didn’t realize anyone was livin’ over there, so i didn’t put soundproofing up. i’ll tone it down just for you.”

a playful grin breaks out on his face and you can’t help but smile too.

“thank you,” you reply.

before either of you can say anything else, you walk back to your apartment, grabbing the wine bottle and taking a long drink from it. you absolutely hate confrontation and this will probably put you out of commission for a week.

***

its been about about two weeks after you had talked to him, and schlatt cannot stop thinking about you. how shy yet determined you looked. that sweet little smile that you gave him. a knock on his door makes him perk up slightly. he looks out the peephole and realizes that it’s his doordash order.

schlatt opens the door and grabs his bag of chinese food. just as he’s about to turn back and close the door, he spots you. you’re walking back in from the store with a few bags.

you have your sweatpants on and an oversized hoodie that has a wine stain on the collar that you just cannot get out. your hair is back in a bun that looks like it’s close to giving out. and he can’t stop staring. your cheeks are slightly pink from the cold and you’re fishing for your apartment keys in your pockets.

you’re completely his type. even with the dirty hair and baggy clothes. you look adorable and schlatt watches you, butterflies fluttering to life in his stomach, something that has never happened before. you eventually find your keys in your pocket, just as your eyes meet his.

schlatt’s heart stutters. he needs to find his words, and quick.

“hey there,” he smiles.

“hi,” you reply nervously.

he hasn’t been loud at all since you last spoke to him. he’s made sure to talk quieter because he doesn’t want to bother you.

“i never got a chance to formally apologize for the whole yelling thing,” schlatt starts. “is it alright if i take you out to dinner as an apology? i know this really good steak place!”

the smile you give him nearly makes his heart leap.

“i suppose you can,” you say, sticking your key into the lock. “when are you free?”

schlatt fights the urge to say right this second but instead goes through his schedule in his head. he can probably push his stream to sunday if he wants to.

“how’s saturday?” he asks. “i’ll knock on your door at 6pm.”

“sounds good.” you smile. “i’ll see you then!”

you turn into your apartment but schlatt stops you with a large hand on your shoulder.

“wait, i never got your name.” he says. “mine’s jay.”

you smile and tell him your name. the way it comes off your tongue like honey makes him smile. its perfect, just like you are.