#big stupid feelings that I'm obviously not sharing with anyone involved

[majaloveschris]

I need to vent a little.

Even though we had the Page Six article of Chrisba meeting Harry and Meghan and that Mark started following Justin, things had been relativly quiet. No big drama, no something that seemed too important. This morning I woke up to this whole Carlisle and IMDb thing, and I don't know why, but it's usually the Carlisle house and blurry pictures that make me realize how much I hate this whole situation. I'm just tired of it.

I made this account around April 2022, a year and a half ago. Looking back at it, it's crazy how things have changed. How all of us changed. How our view of Chris has changed.

My only goal with this blog was to share my opinion about this and my point of view. In the beginning, I think most people were confused about what's going on here and why everything was so weird. People were freaked out because of her age, and 16 years turned into racism, fatphobia, and people who support nazis.

We all said and still say it's going to get better, but when? I find myself not wanting to talk about this or deal with this whole situation, especially on those days when life feels too much for me. I don't want to argue with anyone; I don't want to argue whether the Carlisle house is his or if they are going to live there or not. I don't want to argue whether he was in a blurry picture or not. I don't want to argue whether they are real or not. I just don't anymore. I never wanted to convince people that I'm right or that I know what's going on, because I'm not. I only want to share my opinion; that's it, and sometimes people here make me want to leave much more than this weird whatevership does.

I'm just tired of them. Tired of their stupid followings, likes, and comments...Of their stupid stories filled with little signs and tired of them tiring to make this believable when they are clearly incapable of selling whatever this is. I'm tired of their games, and I'm surprised that they aren't tired of playing them. I'm tired that now even those who aren't involved are trying to "troll" the fandom for attention.

Whenever we think it's getting better, they just do something even worse, and it obviously has an effect on us. His actually being in love with her and wanting to spend the rest of his life with her (which seems very unlikely when you look at them) would mean he is okay with their values and that he agrees with them. I think I could "forgive" him for this being PR, but if he wants to actually be with her, I don't want to support that with my money and time.

There are always and will always be people who cross the line when it comes to their favorite celebrity, but this situation seems to get the worst out of everyone, of those who are directly and indirectly involved. Since the very first Las Vegas day, we have been shown that if you want to know what is actually going on, you need to look for clues. On videos, on pictures, among somebody's following list, or among those people who liked something, I know that now people say, Why do we even care about whom he dates? I didn't really care that much about them being real or not until her and her friends pasts came out. Up until that point, the only thing that bugged me about this whole thing was that Justin and Alba seemed to troll the fandom for attention, and I didn't like the way they tried to take advantage of Chris and his fandom.

Some people can't seem to understand the actual problem with him being connected to them. I don't want to support someone who is okay with the behavior of Alba and her friends. But it's hard to believe and seems impossible to me that the man we'd seen for 20+ years has never existed. He is not that good of an actor, and I don't think somebody would be able to play a role for decades.

I have a lot of movies with him in them that I love and want to rewatch, but this whole situation makes it really hard for me. I only see him. I see him when I look at Colin, or Andy, or Ransom, or Steve, or any of his characters. I miss that guy who was always smiling and laughing during an interview. I miss the guy who seemed happy and healthy. Right now he isn't even the shadow of his old self.

I don't want this to come across as me complaining. I know that nobody forces me to be here. I know that I could just delete this blog and go on with my life, but I like having my blogs. I like coming here and talking to my friends; I like seeing funny edits; and I like making funny edits. I would love to talk about his projects, make edits, and share photos and videos. I had so many things in mind prior to the whole wedding thing, which may always remain in my gallery and my drafts.

I will still continue with this blog, but I needed to write it down how I feel, because I think a lot of us feel this way. I'm staying; I'm not leaving because I need to know how this whole thing is going to end, and I still have some hope in him.

[naesarangyunho]

Beans on Toast(4)- YunGi soulmate au

[I don't own these images credits to the original owners]

SFW [A little suggestive though]

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Synopsis: Taking a little break from main couple (wooyoung x y/n) before I post their last chapter. Mingi and Yunho finally resolve their obviously not platonic 'platonic' soulmates predicament.

Contains: Mingi being a dumbass and breaking Yunho's heart. But don't worry, he fixes it!! Cursing. A lot. I always do that. No other content warnings that I can think of.

Disclaimer: I don't actually ship them romantically, they are just characters in a fanfiction and this is not a reflection of their true irl characters and personalities.

[Word count: 2.8k]

A/N: also, this was kinda inspired by the fact that Yunho literally looks at Mingi like this:

Yunho's ears perked up at the sound of the front door opening and closing and footsteps making their way down the passage to his room. He paused his game, removed his headset, letting it rest around his neck, and stared expectantly at his closed door, not quite unlike an excited puppy.

His mouth curved into a big smile as the door opened and Mingi entered, throwing his bag down on his bed.

"Hi! How are you? How was work?"

"Hey, Yun. I'm good. Work was fine." Mingi replied but his tone was off.

"Do you have schoolwork to do or do you want to join me in the next match?" Yunho asked, referring to his video game.

Mingi shook his head, "I need to go shower. I'm going out tonight."

"Oh. Where are you going?"

"Nowhere special."

He wouldn't look Yunho in the eye.

Yunho's brows drew together, "Are you okay?"

Mingi nodded but still didn't look Yunho in the eyes, focusing instead on gathering his things and heading to the bathroom. Yunho placed his headset down on the computer desk and turned in his swivel chair to watch him leave the room. What was up with him?

Yunho eventually just gave up trying to game, his focus directed on the feeling of unease in his stomach, and he went and sat on his own bed on the other side of the room.

Mingi was keeping something from him but Mingi never kept anything from him. The thought that Mingi was hiding something from him made him uneasy.

Mingi returned to the room, smelling of cologne and his honey and yoghurt shampoo. Yunho felt his cheeks flush just the slightest as he looked at his soulmate. Mingi looked good. Loose-fitting ripped jeans, a white t-shirt that hugged his body and showed off his broad shoulders and small waist tucked into his pants, and his dark hair styled in a way that showed off his electric blue streaks. He was even wearing casual makeup.

Yunho cleared his throat, "You look nice."

Mingi gave him a half-hearted smile that had Yunho feeling even more uneasy.

"I'm glad I look nice because I'm… I'm going on a date. A girl from class asked me out."

Five words. Five words were all it took for Yunho's heart to break. I'm going on a date.

Yunho had been okay with shoving his feelings for Mingi down for years now, despite how badly it hurt, because even if they weren't romantically involved, Mingi was his. Mingi was his soulmate and Mingi had never dated anyone nor had he spoken of any crushes, which made it a little more bearable because that meant that he didn't have to share his Mingi with anyone. But now that has changed. Mingi had a date. He was getting romantically involved with someone. Yunho supposed it would happen at some point in life but he'd always clung to the hope that it wouldn't. Fuck, this hurt.

Yunho choked back tears and tried to smile and be a supportive best friend, "Wow, that's… I'm happy for you."

Mingi eyed him carefully, "Are you okay?"

Yunho nodded quickly, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

Mingi wasn't completely stupid; he could tell something was off. He swallowed back his growing guilt.

"Well, okay then. I've got a movie and dinner to catch."

Yunho smiled but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "Okay. Have fun."

Mingi looked at him for a moment before stepping forward to lean down and hug him. Yunho held him tight, breathing in his comforting scent and letting the brief warmth of the hug wash over him. His Mingi. Mingi was supposed to be his.

He gently pushed Mingi away, "You don't want to be late."

Mingi nodded and Yunho followed him to the front door, giving him one last tight smile and then the minute Mingi was gone Yunho choked out a sob.

He wanted Mingi to be happy, he really did, but if this date went well how were things going to be between them? Was Mingi going to bring this girl home? Was Yunho going to be forced to share a space with Mingi as he cuddled with and loved somebody else? Was Mingi going to spend time with him anymore?

Hot tears fell from his eyes and another sob wracked his frame.

"Yu?" Wooyoung called out from the living room.

Yunho didn't respond, staring at the closed front door and willing Mingi to come back through it. Willing Mingi to come back and into his arms. Willing Mingi to curl up with him like he usually did and watch dumb videos with him on YouTube and laugh till their ribs ached.

He felt so dumb for behaving this way but he was in pain. He'd been terribly in love with Mingi for years and the thought of Mingi with someone else was tearing him apart.

San and Wooyoung appeared next to him seemingly out of nowhere. They must have heard him crying from the living room.

"Yunho, what happened?" San asked, rushing to check Yunho over to see if he was hurt.

Yunho just cried harder and both Wooyoung and San panicked.

Sure, they'd seen Yunho cry before- he cried pretty easily sometimes. He cried watching animal videos, cried when Disney characters died, and cried when he felt nostalgic during holidays. Still, they couldn't even remember the last time they'd heard Yunho cry like this. It sounded like his world was falling apart and to some extent it really was.

"Mingi's seeing someone. He's on a date." Yunho finally croaked out.

"Fuck," both San and Wooyoung cursed and wrapped their arms around the bigger boy, their hearts aching at the way he shook in their arms.

They gently guided him to the couch and sat down on either side of him, holding him close. San stroked his back and Wooyoung kissed his hair.

"It hurts. It hurts so much." Yunho sobbed.

"Shhh. We know, honey, we're here." San murmured and Wooyoung kissed Yunho's hair again.

After what felt like ages, Yunho's tears finally dried up and his frame stopped quivering. San and Wooyoung were both leaning sleepily against him and Yunho felt bad for keeping them up. They'd been practising for their dance competition the entire afternoon and most of the evening and must be exhausted.

"Guys, you can go to bed. I'm okay now." Yunho murmured, slowly extricating himself from their hold.

"Are you sure?" San questioned sluggishly and Yunho nodded, trying his best to give them a convincing smile.

"If you need anything our rooms are just down the passage," Wooyoung said, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you."

The moment they were gone, Yunho let loose a big sigh, trying to relax completely. He felt like crap, to be honest.

He got up and made his way to the kitchen intending to make hot chocolate. Hot chocolate always helped a little when he was down and he hoped it would warm him up even if it was only just a little.

It didn't. Nothing seemed to help relieve the ache in his heart.

He ended up grabbing a beer from the fridge after he finished the hot beverage and leaned against the kitchen counter as he cracked it open and took a long sip.

He checked the kitchen clock as he took another sip of his drink- Mingi had only been gone for around an hour and a half yet it felt like he’d been gone forever already. Yunho wondered what he was doing and he wondered if he was happy. Was he enjoying himself? Did he like her? Did she like him? Was Mingi going to bring her home? He hoped not because that would be the final nail in the coffin for him.

Just as he was polishing off his beer, the front door was all but slammed open and closed. Yunho frowned and checked the time again; there was no way Mingi could be home already since the movie itself couldn't even be finished yet let alone a meal as well. But yet there he was, stepping into the kitchen with a look Yunho wasn't sure how to describe or interpret.

Mingi scanned Yunho's face and saw his puffy eyes and pink nose, evidence in plain sight that Yunho had been crying.

"Shit," Mingi exhaled.

Yunho felt tears bubble up again at the sight of Mingi but he swallowed them back.

"You're home early." He sniffed and Mingi just nodded, not really sure what to say.

The two men just stared at each other, the silence deafening, and Yunho wished Mingi would just say something because the longer he looked at Mingi the more he felt like crying.

"I just…" Mingi started, finally breaking the silence, but his words trailed off until he was as quiet as before.

"You just?" Yunho prompted.

"I just…Couldn't."

Yunho's brows drew together, "What do you mean?"

"I… Fuck, this is so hard," Mingi groaned in frustration, dragging his fingers through his hair, and Yunho noticed that it was already messy. Had she done that? Yunho shoved away the images that filled his mind. He’d rather not know or think about it.

Mingi looked so nervous and conflicted and Yunho wanted nothing more than to know what was going on in his head. It had never been more difficult to read his best friend's expressions.

Mingi stepped closer to Yunho, "She kissed me."

A pang of pain shot through Yunho and he just stared at Mingi silently, willing Mingi to continue speaking because Yunho really didn't trust himself to.

"She kissed me, Yunho, and I just couldn't do it because all I could think of was you."

Of all the words he could have imagined Mingi to say, he'd never expected that.

"What are you saying?"

Mingi looked so horribly vulnerable and nervous and Yunho resisted the urge to just wrap him up in his arms like he usually did when Mingi didn’t feel good.

"I'm saying that I…" He trailed off and gulped as he made eye contact with Yunho.

There was a moment's silence and then, before Yunho had any time to comprehend it, Mingi crossed the space between them in a few long strides, gripped his hip with one hand, the back of his neck with the other and pushed him against the counter as his lips found his.

Yunho gasped against his mouth and his hands shot out to grip Mingi's hips.

Mingi tried to pull away, misinterpreting Yunho's gasp and firm grip, but Yunho grabbed him by the front of his shirt instead and kissed him again- hard and desperate. Mingi held him tight and reciprocated the kiss, tilting his head and deepening it. Yunho's pulse was racing, his body reacting of its own accord while Yunho's brain still tried to comprehend the fact that Mingi was kissing him. Mingi was home early and kissing him.

His heart skipped a good few beats when he felt Mingi's tongue slide into his mouth and brush against his. He grabbed Mingi's hips again and pulled their hips flush together and delighted in the way Mingi gasped into his mouth.

But then Mingi pulled back again, panting against Yunho's mouth.

He didn't step out of Yunho's hold but pressed a hand to his chest, stopping him from moving forward again to chase after Mingi's lips.

"Yunho, let me speak quickly please."

Yunho dragged his eyes away from Mingi's kiss-swollen lips and looked up and into his eyes reluctantly. He wanted to kiss Mingi. He'd wanted to kiss him for so many years and now that he'd been given the opportunity to, he didn't want to stop but he also needed to hear what Mingi had to say.

"I'm sorry."

Yunho gave him a curious look, "For what?"

"For pushing you away all these years. I knew, well, I had a feeling you loved me but I hurt you and pushed you away. I'll never forgive myself for it."

"You knew?" Yunho felt tears prick at his eyes. Did Mingi know he loved him all this time but just ignored him?

"Not entirely. I had a feeling but I was so fucking scared of losing you. You'd never said anything about liking guys-"

"Neither did you and it doesn't matter. Mingi I don't care what gender you are. It's you. I care about you. "

"I know. Yunho, I just- I don't know what to say. I'm so horrible at expressing myself. I've just… I've loved you for so many years and the soulmate bond made it worse and I just was so fucking scared you wouldn't feel the same."

"Mingi, I… Do you have any idea how long I've been in love with you? Do you know how much it hurt? I tried in the beginning. I tried to tell you or throw hints but you just ignored me or brushed off my comments."

Yunho paused. He was just as poor as Mingi at expressing his feelings it seemed.

"The way you pushed me away… Mingi, you made me feel… I don't even know but it hurt. It hurt so fucking badly, Mingi."

Yunho felt himself get choked up again, tears building in the corners of his eyes and the sight broke Mingi's heart. He reached up and cupped Yunho's face, gently swiping his thumbs under his eyes and catching the tears that started to fall.

"I'm so sorry, Yunho. I'll never stop hating myself for it."

Yunho quickly reached out to hold Mingi's face in his hands, "No. Don't you dare hate yourself. You hurt me, Mingi but you had your reasons. You're allowed to feel things and be scared. I've been terrified too."

"Yunho," Mingi groaned in frustration, stroking Yunho's cheek with his thumb.

"Yunho, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say anything. I suck so badly at this. I love you so much and I fucked things up so badly."

Mingi looked so worked up and it looked like he was going to start crying out of frustration alone.

Yunho pulled Mingi in again and gently kissed him once more, "It's okay, Min. I understand you. You've done a good job and I'm proud of you for confessing."

Mingi looked at him for a second before connecting their lips again, his kiss softer than before. Yunho could feel everything that Mingi wanted to say in that kiss and all he could was hold Mingi tighter and listen to him.

Mingi kissed him a few more times, sweet and tender, before pulling his face back to look at him.

"Yunho…"

Yunho smiled and ran his hands softly through Mingi's hair, "I know, love."

Mingi finally smiled for the first time since he'd come home and Yunho's heart swelled at the sight. He cupped Mingi's face in his hands, his thumbs stroking over the corners of Mingi's smile,

"There's my boy."

Mingi smiled brighter at his words, his eyes crescent moons, "Your boy?"

Yunho nodded, "Who else's would you be?"

Mingi leaned in to kiss Yunho, "No one. Just yours."

The blond man smiled and kissed Mingi all over his face. Mingi giggled and tried to squirm out of his arms.

Yunho chuckled and held him tighter, "Where do you think you're going, huh?"

"No where apparently." Mingi laughed as Yunho pressed kisses into his jaw and neck too now.

Yunho pressed one last kiss to Mingi's neck and then his mouth, "Let's go to bed, love."

Mingi laughed and pressed a kiss to Yunho's hair, "Sure, I need to get out of these jeans too."

Yunho smirked, "I can help."

Mingi blushed lightly and slapped Yunho's arm, "I am twenty two, I can undress myself."

"But it'll be so much quicker if I help."

"You're insufferable." Mingi untangled himself from his soulmate's arms and promptly left the kitchen.

Yunho caught up with him and grabbed his waist from behind, burying his face in Mingi's neck.

"Yunho," Mingi laughed, "I'm trying to walk here."

Yunho just hummed and smiled against his neck.

Mingi reached a hand around to poke Yunho's side, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay," Yunho let go of Mingi but hooked a finger in one of his belt loops and followed him to their room.

They both squeezed into Mingi's bed that night because Yunho insisted on clinging to Mingi even further. Mingi didn't mind one bit, he just held Yunho tight and kissed him back softly everytime Yunho lifted his head to kiss him again as if he couldn't get enough of him. It felt right. Yunho felt right and he felt right and they felt right together. Mingi wished he'd seen that sooner.

[uncouth-the-fifth]

you're the only person i follow who mainly posts about kripke era spn so i just gotta ask, is it just me or does season 2 already feel vastly different from season 1? like obviously they went through a lot of crap in the span of a year but i just restarted the series and something about the way Sam talks to Lenore (the vampire lady in bloodlust) is so different from how he used to be in season 1. (i also hated that that was the beginning of his style change but whatevs no more silly tees and hoodies for Sammy cause he's a big serious hunter now i get it). and Dean, i can't really put my finger on it but he's also changed so much from the guy who whacked his brother on the arm and called him a control freak after literally not seeing him for two years. like i get that trauma changes you but going straight into s2 from s1 it just feels slightly off, even the vibes of the episodes. i talk a lot about how the first five seasons are superior to the rest of the show but i think i'll just forever be a s1 supremacist. honestly idk if this is something other people are aware of too or if i'm just crazy. maybe it's because supernatural first starts becoming very comical in season 2, like introducing casa erotica, that stupid p*rn website dean is obsessed with, and probably more, all this making the series less realistic (i mean it's a show about monsters but still) than it was in s1. in my opinion, spn was a lot better before it was trying to be all self-aware. genuinely would like to know what you think about this tho cause i know you're amazing with your words :)

WOO BOY, have i been stewing on this ask for a bit. i didn't want to rush to answer because i wanted my response to be thorough, but i have SO many feelings about this. i never make spn meta posts (if this could even be considered that) cause I'm not the greatest at articulating my thoughts on the show, so bear with me. i could also be throwing stuff at u that u already know, and in that case ignore me lol

there is a pretty big gap between the first and second seasons, but it's not something i immediately thought about reading this ask because, technically, they're the closest plotwise. the hunt for yellow-eyes begins in season 1 and ends at the devil's gate with season 2. we have the overarching apocalypse arc that has its feet in the first five seasons, sure, but s1 and s2 specifically share the same villain and the same cross-season motivator: kill the thing that killed mom.

but i thought on it a little more and i agree with you!! there's a clear tonal shift from devil's trap to in my time of dying, and i think that's born mainly from factors outside the show's plot. supernatural moved from being a potential one-and-done to a whole multi-season show, and the showrunners had audience reactions to reference when writing too! the monster-of-the-week cycle was interesting, but people watched the show to see, y'know. sam and dean drinking beers and crying on the hood of the impala. the plot was the most fascinating part, so naturally, the show became more involved. while season 1 was clearly a monster-of-the-week type beat, season 2 keeps that rhythm while weaving plot-heavier episodes throughout. i also think that killing off john is as clean and concise a shift as the writers could manage: if the entire first season hinged upon finding dad, and dad dies s2e1, well. any step away from the waters the show was born in, that endless hunt for john, is going to feel foreign. and john's death is a huge hit to both boys, so automatically their characterization shifts for that season too. sam loses the boyish haircut and dean irons out into an even grizzlier hunter. i don't trust kripke or anyone at the CW to make writing choices this purposefully, but you COULD say that the effect you're talking about is supposed to reflect the boy's lives when john dies. off-kilter and standing up on shaky legs. but i refuse to give them credit for that <3

if i'm telling the truth i really like when the show gets more involved. but i think why others might feel the opposite is because, after 14 seasons layered thick with plot that only gets messier and messier as times goes on, the disconnected adventure from season one feels more special!! they don't have heaven to worry about yet!! or an apocalypse!! things were simple, and the show was just about two brothers on the road trying to rebuild their family. it's uncomplicated. s1 is also the landing strip we hit every time we return to the show as a whole, so it's more familiar, and therefore more intimate than any other season!! (for those who watch in order at least lol).

[thunderheadfred]

🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚

Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons. HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails

I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.

This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there. Anyway. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

You met Tenko before the League existed.

Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.

You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.

(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)

(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)

He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.

You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.

- - - The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous. He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now. But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap. You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.

You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.

Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him. You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary. At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.

It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.

When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.

Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.

You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask. Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try. - - - This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad? You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. (He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?) He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.

But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind. Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.

And... strawberry cake. The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks. God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating? Quick, think. You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.

You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like. You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.

You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick. You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe... Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit. - - - Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number. So. Um. What now? You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas? Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.

Tenko, are you crying? Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now. It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves. Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best. Your chest hurts. - - - He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had. But no. Apparently not.

This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.

He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.

You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already. You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders. A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you? You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair. A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful? This is really happening. --- Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.

All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop. Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick. But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar. It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.

When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.

Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.

No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.

Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...

No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.

So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.

It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?

You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.

---

You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.

It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.

He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.

I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.

It's okay, Tenko.

You know he doesn't want to.

- - - - - (oops I wrote more)

[weaselbeaselpants]

Shout Out to all the vegans who aren't insane. There's actually a lot of them out there

and I hope they're all having a nice day =)

To be honest, while I'm all for humane farmers (shameless promo for @dairyisntscary, they’re darling and I get to lookat cute cows when I see their blog) but if they made a milk substitute that doesn’t make me sick, I’d be all for quitting dairy. I’d still eat eggs though. My point being:

veganism is not inherently unhealthy, sickly, or even prompted JUST BECAUSE people want to help animals. Some people just honestly like the lifestyle. And good for them.

Vegans and vegetarians should not ever have to feel like they made the wrong decision or that they shouldn’t have meat+dairy eating friends. We can all coexist so long as we all fight cruelty to animals- the road to which is going to involve a LOT of trial and error (and 0 PeTA). The fact is some people (like me) can’t go vegan where other people can’t eat dairy or meat. You shouldn't badger people about the ‘right’ foods that will magically ‘fix’ them. No food does that. Let people live how they want if it isn’t hurting them or others. Don’t EVER shame indie farmers and rescuers for keeping and caring for the animals they love. Alternatively, it’s good to do research and not make blanket statements about how something “can’t be” cruel. ((Ex 1. Sheep don’t shed their wool. It needs to be shorn and most farmers in the US are good about this. Australia and New Zealand’s wool on the other hand? A LOT of abuse goes down there esp with genetically modified animals. Be wary of buying wool from Australia. Ex 2. For all the Joe Exotics and SeaWorld’s of the world, there are absolutely wonderful wildlife sanctuaries and zoos that need our support. Zoos are possibly the one inhumane form of animal husbandry that has evolved to be about the animals and not the people keeping them.)) I get mad for my stupid veggieSis and cool vegan friends when the arbitrary ‘good guy’ in this argument has to be the meat eater. I get mad at people hating Lisa for turning vegetarian in The Simpsons when the episode where she does so is so obviously critical of the meat industry. You guys deserve your representation.

You know what you also deserve? Literally anyone who’s not ThatVeganTeacher.

Katie Karen is the epitome of the worst possible kind of vegan and the reason actually sane vegans don’t feel comfortable sharing their diet/lifestyle. They know people will associate them with Katie. They’ve been hurt too many times by vegans like Katie who shame them for not being vegan “enough” or using her diet -their diet- to trash talk their culture, beliefs, and sexualities.

No nonJew has any right comparing meat industries to the holocaust. If something involving the treatment of animals speaks to the humanity in you; like it did for Robbyne Kaamil who wrote a song comparing her enslaved ancestors to Lolita the killer whale; make what you will. And yet it IS sick to proudly value animal’s lives over human rights. We are animals too and intelligent animals care for their own first a foremost ((elephants, dolphins, parrots, pigs, primates)) before we care for the animals around us. We should care about the animals too but people always come first.

Not that Katie cares about animals herself, fyi. Any decent dog or cat owner knows their pet can’t turn vegan with them. Raise a freakin’ pig if you want an animal to go vegan with you. Katie is abusing her dog, Bella, by forcing Bella to eat vegan food that she can’t digest because she’s a fucking dog. Bella should be taken away from Katie and given real dog food. She’s a carnivore.

One of the most disgusting things about Katie is her treatment of minors and people younger than her. I pray to god she’s lying about being a teacher because jeezus christ. That woman would make me hate myself if I were in Elementary school. She shouldn’t be allowed near children especially when she makes comments to teenagers like this:

Katie is a gatekeeper. Everything in her life has to be about her and her brand of veganism. She is a walking, talking PeTA advert. She makes life so much harder for vegans as well as Animal Right's Activists. She’s a living example to people who hate vegans why they think all vegans are bad and her call for veganism is ultimately all about her and not the feelings of anyone else.

I feel like this is an important post to make because any time there's this kind of discourse about creepy vegans or PeTA or whatever it HAS to invite some pos eating meat just to stick it to the big-bad vegan-crazies like Katie. You're doing nothing but adding more fuel to the fire and you need to be taken out of the arena. No one wants you here - farm-guy who thumbs up next to the cow carcass he's strung up and mutilated just so you can see a creepy vegan's reaction. You're creepy too.

Both avid meateaters and devout vegans have disturbing alt-right racist ties that are worth addressing BY the people who share their diet. They need to be taken down a peg and not just by people that'd hate them regardless of their politics. They need to be taken down by their contemporaries.

This post is for those vegans who are done with people like Katie and want to save her poor dog. I want more vegans coming out of the woodwork and roasting her with their vegan enchiladas- served with a tall glass of oat milk.

This is a vegan-friendly blog.

This also a kosher-friendly blog and vegetarian friendly blog. This is a being-a-decent-dog-owner-friendly blog. I am not irredeemable by respecting these people as well. I'm irredeemable if I support abuse, neglect, and bigotry, which is what Katie supports.

[6knotty6thotty6]

So a couple of months ago, I saw a YouTube video that was an audio recording of season 5, episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, “Free Churro.” In the episode, the main character, Bojack Horseman, spends 20 minutes giving a eulogy at his mother’s funeral. There’s one big problem though, his mother was an abusive bitch. His eulogy is him trying to contemplate what she meant by her drying words, “I see you,” and whether or not she loved him. As someone who has a dead parent who was abusive, this is probably my favorite episode of any show ever for how much it helped me understand my feelings. The comments section is filled with people sharing their pain with their abusive families, but one comment stood out to me above all the others by how raw and relatable it was. This comment was by a YouTuber named Moonstruck. At the bottom of this post is a link to her channel. Please support her. After reading this, she deserves a million subscribers. Also please watch Bojack Horseman. (I corrected some of the grammatical errors to make it easier to read)

Disclaimer: Child abuse, bullying, trauma, and mental health:

Moonstruck: 

This is a great monologue, but one part of it, in particular, really caught my attention was the 'grand gesture' bit.

When I was a kid, I read this book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul." There's a shitload of them. I don't remember which particular one it was. I hated the whole series because it's just someone profiting off a bunch of other people's stories rather than trying to write their own, in my opinion. 

Anyway.

This one story that I remember, the ONLY one I remembered,  was sent in by a little girl. She wrote about how her father never told her that he loved her. He never once, in her whole life, said the words "I love you." I don't remember her mom being mentioned, maybe she was dead; it doesn't matter. The point is her dad was basically an emotionless asshole. Well, one day, this girl gets sick. Really sick. Possibly on her deathbed sick. She wrote that one day she woke up to find a necklace sitting on her nightstand that had a pendant that looked like her dog. She said she held it to her heart and cried because that necklace said all the things her father never had.

I thought, "What a load of bullshit."

A cheap trinket doesn't make up for years and years of emotional neglect. Anyone can buy a thing and toss it your way. Hell, he didn't even hand it to her himself, just left it there for her to find if/when she woke up, then left her alone again to possibly die.

A lot of people say that actions speak louder than words, in cases like political protests and shit. While that's true, scenarios that this that girl are different. Gifts can never replace the words, "I love you."

When I was a kid, my father never told me he loved me. My mother didn't either, but she's a whole other kettle of fish. I would say 'my biological mother or father,' but I never got adopted ones, so who gives a shit. Anyway. My father was rarely around, and when he was, he just spent the entire time fighting with my mother and leaving again. He would do and say anything that could get him to spend less time in the house with her. With us. I can't blame him. If I could've left during those times, I would have. I tried more than once. I even earned the nickname 'runaway' from a family friend because of it. 

I was told that I was worthless as early as I could understand words. I don't know what it is about me that set my mother off, but she HATED me. I was always told how expensive I was to keep alive and how I wasn't worth it. If I dared ask for anything, she would remind me how much she spent just to keep me from starving to death and that it was too much already. On the rare occasion I was given something, it was so she could use it as a threat. She was like, "Sure, you can have that toy horse since we got your sister a real one, but you better behave or we'll give it to her and let her break it." Or "Oh, fine, we can keep this dog as a FAMILY pet (NOT YOURS), but if you do something we don't like, we'll take it away and kill it." 

Oh, yeah. I have a sister. She’s cut from the same cloth as our mother. I don't consider any of them family anymore. She was two years older than me. She was the "we should have stopped while we were ahead" kid. Anything she wanted, she got. 

"Mom, can I have an award-winning horse and expensive dressage lessons?"

"Sure!"

"Mom, can I have a car?"

"No problem!"

"Mom, can you pay for my ballet lessons?"

"Absolutely!"

She was the golden child. The one that could do no wrong and wasn't a mistake. Even after she totaled her car, got arrested for an underage DUI, and got pregnant three times in high school, she was still the good one. I never even asked to go to school dances, parties, or go out with the one friend I had. My sister liked to see me in pain. She'd tell our mom that I did things just to get me in trouble. Whether it involved blaming me for things she did or fabricating stuff, she'd say whatever it took to get my mother to beat me while she watched and laughed. Oh, yeah, our mom was BIG on physical punishment. I've been whipped with everything from a riding crop, a wooden paddle, spoons, and especially belts. Anything that was close at hand when my mother got irritated, I've been hit with it. 

At one point, my sister had three tall, beautiful show-worthy horses. I was allowed to keep a sickly old pony for all of a week before she was taken away, then I'd get called ungrateful for asking why we had to get rid of HER instead of one of the horses. Even though my mother said it cost too much to keep them all. With horses being obviously too rich for my blood, I asked for something cheaper, and for once, I got it. I was given a baby goat that one of our neighbors' goats had abandoned for being too weak, and they didn't have time to raise. I loved that goat. I bottle raised him, and named him Ben. He was my best friend for a while. When he grew up, he got so big that I was able to stand on his back to grab tree branches and pull them down so he could eat the leaves. I walked him on a leash like a dog every day. I loved him so much. My mother had me enter him in a show, and we won ninth place! I was thrilled to have something to show against my sister's collection of dressage show ribbons. I finally had proof that I could do something right! Sure, the prize money was taken away from me, but I still had Ben.

But Ben didn't come home with me after the show. It turns out he was sold to a slaughterhouse because that show was for meat goats. I didn't know until he was already gone. Of course, my mother punished me for being upset and even forced me to write a thank-you card to the people who bought his meat. 

My mother was always like that. Anything I loved was used as a threat. I eventually accepted that loving anything was a waste of time. I learned to detach myself from my feelings, and I got really good at it. I can completely turn off my emotional reaction to anything. One time I had to put down one of the egg-laying hens at work that got too sick to save, and I felt nothing while bringing down the ax. When I lost out on a job that could have changed my life, I told myself how stupid it was to hope for anything good. Any positive emotion I felt got me punished, so I learned to feel nothing at all. To this day, I still have trouble feeling things, even when I want to. I'm taking pills now, and they help, sometimes. 

I've had several suicide attempts. I keep a box of razor blades in my desk just to have them close. I got a tattoo of a heart with rainbows on my wrist. Partially for LGBT solidarity, but mostly to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world. I still struggle with wonder if I actually believe it or not. 

I've tried so hard to be a good kid. I never partied, never drank, never smoked even when the chances were there, and I would have greatly loved anything to make the pain stop or even just dull it a little bit. I was in the gifted and talented program at school and was able to graduate at fifteen. For a while, I was sent to a children's home where I was passed around to many people I didn't know, including a clown who I may or may not have actually been related to, until I eventually wound up out here where I am now. It's all pretty hazy, and the details get scrambled. 

It's been 10 years since I've had contact with my mother and sister. I can't even keep in touch with the one friend I had, even after I lived with her. She's tried to reach out to me, but I just… can't. I try, but I can't. Sometimes, I can almost pretend that my past wasn't real. It's just a hazy fog that isn't really there. I want to believe that if I don't allow something, or someone, who was part of that past, someone tangible and real, into my life again, then the fog will go away. This is why I can't do it. I know I'm a terrible friend. Ariel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're better off without me in your life anyway. 

I typed all of this out because sometimes, about fifty dollars or so shows up in my PayPal from my father's email address. I don't know if it's from him or from her using his email, but it doesn't matter either way. The point is I know my mother is the one sending the money.

I know my mother likes to think she's a good person. She went to church every Sunday, and probably still does. She organized a lot of church events and participated in every church function. I had to be an altar server for several years until I aged out of it and was in the choir. She kept going to that church even after the priest got drunk, called me many horrible names in front of everyone, and was revealed to be a pedophile that raped a little boy at gunpoint. She probably still goes to that same church and organizes things. She likes being in charge. She likes having people look at her and say, "That there is a good person."

But are you, though, Mom? Are you really a good person? Were you a good person when you hit me? When you lied to me? When you laughed with my sister about how much I got hurt for things I didn't do? Were you a good person every time you told me you'd kill my cat or leave my dog at the pound? Were you a good person when you sold Ben to be eaten, knowing that I loved him? Were you a good person when you made me read "A child called It" and told me that you'd start doing the things in that book to me if I didn't behave? Were you a good person every time you told my father I was a liar whenever I tried to tell him what you were doing to me? Were you a good person when you told me I wasn't worth the cost of being alive? Were you? 

Fuck you, Mom! Keep your fucking money! A necklace on the nightstand isn't enough. A trinket can't heal years and years and years of abuse and hurt. You can't hide these scars under dollar bills. I hope you die alone. I know I probably will, but I don't even care anymore. I lost the ability to care thanks to you. You can't make up for the things you did and the things you didn't say now. Too little, too late! 

[make-me-imagine]

Hi! Been gone for a long time, but slowly coming back! Can I request a pairing? Prefer phase 1 MCU and/or SPN. 😀

I'm 36F, bi, 5'6", slightly overweight, Ravenclaw primary/Gryffindor secondary, more of a homebody/introvert, but occasionally go out for dinner or movie. Intelligence and confidence are sexy to me! I love reading, writing, and music/singing, but don't get to much because of work and rl keeping me busy. I'm also a bit of an empath, so sensitive to others' moods. Partner's anger makes me nervous due to bad past, but will still call out bs. Looking for someone who won't smother me, but will still stand by and support me without being constantly up my ass.

My hard no's? Being cheated on, or made to feel stupid, worthless, or less than human. (Pointing out when I'm doing something stupid is different than saying *I'm* stupid, lol.) I'm loyal as they come, even when others tell me it's a bad idea to be involved with so-and-so, because it's how they treat me and make me feel that matters, not their reputation.

Welcome back! I hope you like the ships :)

MCU:

I ship you with Tony.

He can be snarky and a big arrogant, but you are able to match the snarkiness and call out his arrogance. Which he actually really appreciates. He needs someone to remind him where the line is.

He never yells or gets angry at you, especially after he realizes that something from your past makes that a very sensitive thing for you. When he gets frustrated he tries his best to lt it out when he is not around you, knowing how it effects you. If he ever does get angry in front of you, he will feel bad and apologize later on.

He is loving and caring with you and adores you. He is a socialite, but will never force you to go out and do things with him. He actually loves having you all to himself in his private life, and doesn't really want to "show you off." Not that he wouldn't! He just likes having you in his own private world that the public don't get to see into.

Next ship under cut!

Supernatural:

Both Sam and Dean are a good match for you, but I think I ship you with Sam more.

He is patient and kind and much more likely to suppress his anger and not let it out. He is a homebody and would enjoy spending time with you alone more than going out to fancy dinners. Though, he will take you out for dinner and a movie every once and a while.

You share a love or reading and often spend time together lounging while reading books, or listening to music and just talking.

He would never degrade you or make you feel stupid, and if anyone does so he would get very angry. He would not let out that anger in front of you obviously, but would certainly make that person pay later on with a warning or two from Sam.

If your mischievous happens to come out in real life, it will take him by surprise, but he would be very pleasantly surprise and amused. Especially if it's directed at Dean.

xx

[itsclydebitches]

I will personally never understand why the "bird conversation" happened. Qrow basically shut it down, by (I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he did) saying they agreed to taking the ability. It feels like we're being told to take Raven at face value, despite other, more trustworthy charecters speaking to the contrary.

He did. Basic rundown of the conversation: Yang enters it pissed off, they learn all the revelations that the rest of the group got a few episodes back, Ozpin asks if this was “more or less what your mother told you,” Yang straight up ignores him and Weiss has to answer for her with, “for the most part.” This finally makes Yang angry enough to respond with “You forgot to tell everyone what you did to Qrow and my mother,” there are gasps and horrified looks from the group, but we get a shot of Qrow smiling and going “oh great”---he knows this secret isn’t a big deal but that convincing the others of that won’t be easy. 

Ozpin explains about the power while Yang pouts on the couch. Nora angrily accuses Ozpin of “messing with us” (even though you all took way stranger things at face value... like reincarnation...), Jaune crosses his arm and adds “What else is new?” Despite these explanations with no downsides mentioned, Yang is still furious: “Why would you do something like that? I mean, what is wrong with you?” 

She gets antagonistic enough that Qrow shuts her down and then explicitly states, “We made a choice. We wanted this.” 

Ozpin then looks to Qrow and asks permission---“May I?”---in order to explain further, detailing that he needed allies to search for Maidens and keep an eye on Salem’s movements. The question heavily implies what should already be obvious: this was Qrow’s secret to keep and tell. Why is everyone gunning for Ozpin when Qrow, the person with the actual ability, likewise made the choice to keep that from his family? These explanations segue into the reveal that Ozpin created the first four Maidens and he ends his speech by admitting that “it was never my intention to lie to you.” He and Qrow share a knowing look as he admits that he “plays things close to the chest” which honestly, to me, reads as two war-worn adults acknowledging that this shit is complicated. You keep secrets, you tell lies, you do what you need to in order to survive and keep others safe. Look at these youngsters who think that non-stop honesty is always the way to go. Or is in any way easy even when it should be done: 

Yang still looks pissed as hell despite thoroughly being proven wrong

and then makes her announcement that she’ll stay if Ruby stays, but no more secrets or half-truths. Ozpin agrees with “Understood.” 

Which, obviously, the fandom has used as the go-to moment to damn Ozpin. You promised not to lie and then you did! Which yeah, that isn’t great. He should have been honest here in his inability to promise such a thing. However, that’s not the only factor in all this. We also have the fact that “no more lies or half truths” does not equal “tell us every single detail about this war right now that includes your very personal and traumatic history.” We have the issue that Yang and many of the others (notably Jaune) were unwilling to judge Ozpin fairly from the get-go. They decided that he was guilty before the trail even began and, when faced with evidence that proved all their assumptions wrong, decided to ignore it rather than admitting they were wrong. You’re going to trust a group like that with world-altering secrets? And we finally have the issue that Yang herself clearly doesn’t believe in her own ultimatums. Or doesn’t think they should apply to her. Keeping Raven’s Maiden power a secret? Turning on Ironwood to spill the beans to Robyn and letting her escape? I don’t put must stock in a character’s outraged, “You kept secrets and lied?” when they’re keeping secrets and lying too. The group’s inability to make the jump from “Wow. Sometimes we do need to keep information close to the chest” to “Oh. I guess it makes sense then that Ozpin would do the same thing” is one of the things that still characterizes them as naive, hypocritical, and downright dangerous given the stakes. 

From a fandom perspective though, I’m not at all surprised that a completely unambiguous admission from Qrow---“We made a choice. We wanted this”---holds no weight. 1. Because he’s another adult that can’t be trusted (see: the group turning on him with their weapons in the snow) and 2. Because the concept of a “choice” apparently disappears whenever Ozpin is thrown into the mix. This is the same thing we’ve seen regarding Pyrrha, the claim that she couldn’t really make a choice. It was never a choice at all. She was manipulated/pressured/steered into being a Maiden so the choice is only a “choice.” Ozpin is still at fault. Now here’s Qrow, saying he made a choice, and fans tend to talk over that with, “No. You only thought you had a choice but I’m sure Ozpin did something off screen that puts him at fault” (see: Qrow saying straight out that Ozpin doesn’t know what happened to Summer and everyone jumping to, “No he definitely does and just lied to Qrow.” Ozpin’s off screen villainy is brought up with a shocking amount of frequency) The fandom takes headcanons and assumptions as fact, leading to an inability to attribute agency to anyone if Ozpin was at all involved in their choice. Ruby entering Beacon, Pyrrha deciding to take on the power, Qrow choosing to be a bird... all of it has been re-framed as Ozpin “forcing” them in one manner or another, which is not only untrue but a real disservice to all their characters. The only time Ozpin “forced” someone to do anything is when he forced Oscar to get involved in this fight, and that’s only “forcing” via unavoidable circumstances. Yeah, technically you could let the farm boy live out his life and just screw the rest of the world... but that would make you a villain via inaction. As someone who was given an actual uninformed choice via the God of Light, Ozpin does a great deal to make sure people know what they’re getting into. Checking at the very last second if Pyrrha is still willing to go through with this. Telling the group to leave now if they’re not wiling to help secure the relic. It’s just that he has to balance that transparency with the never ending risk of information falling into the wrong hands/someone else betraying him... which is no easy task. Do you look at the angry teenager who took her bandit mother’s words at face value and go, “Yes, now is a great time to tell them information that as of yet in no way affects them and would absolutely decimate their mental health at best and lead to them screwing me over at worst”? No. That’s stupid and dangerous and, based on how the group has reacted thus far, just going to make the whole situation that much worse. 

[ifonlysj]

heyyyy i'm a relatively new elf and i loooove sungmin but i have a question. you said sungmin "made a mistake in the way he treated fans who were supporting and even helping out his wedding". what is that about? i only know that he got hate for marrying which is bullshit but what happened with supportive fans? thank you, love your blog

hey anon! as promised: here is my opinion about how sungmin handled the situation~ and please take it with a grain of salt and form your own judgement.

just wanted to remind everyone reading this that i still think sungmin should come back to super junior too! if there is something you wish to correct/disagree with under the cut, let me know nicely. we don’t have to fight, okay? let’s do this like civilised people :)

it’s known that leeteuk and heechul have acknowledged that fans would rather hear about dating/marriage news from the members themselves rather than through articles and rumours. this of course makes sense, idols who have “asked for their fans’ blessing” have seen a much better response from their fans than those who got “exposed” by dispatch/sasaengs/whatever. sure, this isn’t a blanket generalisation, but you kinda get it right? i wouldn’t want malicious rumours about someone i like getting involved with someone else, not because i am “possessive”, but because i think the relationship between an idol and their fans can be trusted so that you know, we can celebrate together and stuff.

there are also other rumours about the ‘controversy’ surrounding his marriage, but they were mostly cleared through an article on naver. you can find it here. it should be pretty accurate, because sungmin posted a link to it on his instagram as an instagram post. 

here’s something that i don’t know if it’s been cleared ; sungmin allegedly changed his signature by replacing the star he normally uses with ‘Mi’, which is a nickname for saeun (his wife). this part is really a little bit weird. i don’t think he should have done that, considering how the fan who requested for the autograph has a name that doesn’t resemble ‘Mi’ in any way or form. you can find the original post on pann here. look at it this way, you travelled all the way out and did x number of things and basically worked hard so you could meet someone you liked, and the person gave you gift, that was actually a secret message for someone else. that’s just... not right. again, anything regarding sungmin and the controversy has been grossly warped by people to the point where it is difficult to check if anything is right/wrong. correct me if you want. 

something else; sungmin’s apology letter was released ahead of his army discharge. he handwrote it and apologised for hurting fans by getting married before his enlistment. i think he missed the point. fans aren’t stupid. korean fans aren’t stupid. i believe the ones who are possessive and think they own him is a minority. but i think it’s understandable that these fans felt angered by how he handled it. he didn’t apologise for the signature and he didn’t apologise for ’sharing’ his fan gifts with his wife.

this is a difficult post to make and this part is the worst bit of it, because i’m going to share about why i felt uneasy about his marriage. i’m not saying i’m against it. i’m just. i don’t really know, i had really bad feeling about this when the news first came out. disclaimer: i do not pretend to speak for fans or for anyone at this point, this is just my personal opinion and maybe you disagree with it and that’s okay. this is how i felt about it in 2014-5 and it was a long time ago. with age comes wisdom LOL and honestly i don’t feel anything when i think about it now. 

i felt uneasy when the news broke out because of the timing of it. the timing was, quite frankly, quite terrible. there are some issues that made it worse that sungmin himself couldn’t control, but i don’t think it would have hurt to think it through a little more before releasing the news. 

sungmin confirmed he was getting married in between super shows. i don’t know what kind of impression that gives you, but i’ll be frank: it gives me the impression that he’s acting more individualistic and not putting his group activities as a priority in his life.

for international fans, this could seem like a shock to you. of course he should put his personal life first, he’s in love! he’s finally found someone he likes enough to get married, and we should support him because we want him to find happiness. that’s an opinion, and you’re entitled to it. but what we’re looking at is the confucian principles of community and society that are upheld by most of the korean community. this is a culture that mandates military enlistment laws for all males (with very few exceptions). so really, through their perspective, the outrage could be perhaps more understood. it is also important to know that when the news first broke, the general opinion ranged from congratulatory messages (that hoped for a better public opinion of idols getting married/falling in love), to speculations if it was a shotgun marriage and if saeun was pregnant. consider that sungmin had not enlisted in the military at this point. for korean men, entering the military is a rite of passage into “manhood”. it was already bad enough for idols themselves to still enlist, and fans were already dreading his enlistment. to suddenly spring the news of marriage on them? it made the timing of the whole thing even worse. what’s worse is that the fandom was trying to support them, but sungmin antis and even some of sungmin’s sasaeng’s gave false reports about the whole situation (see: rumous about the wedding, etc.). 

something to understand in korean netizen culture is that they literally live in a culture where paparazzi are so normalised and entertainment journalism literally puts out close to fifty new reports, news, and scandals out every day. on top of that, korea is notorious for their efficient, workaholic cultures that spares no time for research. imagine being bombarded with news about sungmin’s ‘misdeeds’ every week and every month. obviously your impression of him worsens. then he goes to enlist in the army, effectively disappearing, not making a statement until he nearly discharges, then going back to promote himself as per usual. you only have ten minutes a day, maximum, to see the news. you don’t have time to check for yourself on the internet what is happening. if you’re a fan, you go on twitter to check with the big fansites what is happening, and then you see that they are all quarrelling between themselves about writing petition letters. every single thing sungmin does gets uploaded as ‘breaking news’, paparazzi zoom in onto the other sujus’ “apologies” and “opinions” regarding their fellow member, and public opinion builds the impression that sungmin just doesn’t give a shit about his group. and remember! he’s literally getting married and having a honeymoon in between concerts, when the rest of the members are practising/rehearsing/working hard on TV to get more acknowledgement. gosh, sungmin really is throwing his group under the bus all for love... 

that’s a thought process i went through. i can hardly emphasise more about how this shit isn’t about me getting pressed and possessive about how he’s my oppa and he shouldn’t get married because i’m going to marry him one day. it’s not! it’s about me loving suju to the point where sungmin seems like he’s just going off on his own without caring about the group image. quite frankly if any of the sujus reveal tomorrow that they are dating someone, my response would be something like: “oh thank God!”, and if next year they say something like “y’all, we’re gonna get married”, then i would be like: “FINALLY!” because the sujus deserve nothing but happiness and i just want them to be happy after all the shit they’ve been through. [of course sungmin deserves happiness too. everyone does.]

i started rambling but... i just want to say that i really wish sungmin eased us more into it. the whole thing was aggravated because of how saeun handled it on TV also. sungmin enlisting right after was a good move, considering the damage already done. it would have given the whole thing to die down a bit, for fans to think things a little bit more through while sungmin basically removed himself from society for a bit. but while he was gone, saeun said some shit about how sungmin is really touchy and good with skinship, how sungmin drank 9 bottles of soju just to get the courage to ask her father for his blessing, and so on. that’s not right sis. why would you keep making headlines about your man when you should just lie low and wait for the hatred to pass... she then went on to like really controversial pictures, like the one where someone is slapping someone else. the slapper is labelled “international ELFs” while the one being slapped is labelled”K-ELFs”... that shit just ain’t cool bruv... obviously this started another internal fanwar, and i’m pretty sure a lot of ELFs have bad impressions of her. idk i feel like the sudden attention went to her head or something... why would you talk about alcohol... gosh...

anyway i don’t hate her or anything and i’m happy that she brings our boi happiness but i just don’t have a good impression of her... maybe she’s a really nice person IRL but you know, she’s a celebrity and we’ll never meet so i won’t pass judgement on her.

that’s... kinda it i guess? congrats if you made it all the way to the end. i just wanna rehash the point about sungmin returning to super junior. i think he should. he’s been away for long enough and i think that’s enough ‘punishment’, but i do think it would make it easier for the public to try and accept him again if the both of them just admit to what they did wrong in the past and apologise and then just move on. that shit is old as heck, i think. there’s what i think happened. lmk if i made a mistake or missed something, i wrote like 60% of this post thinking back to that time period and considering how, uh, i don’t live in korea, there might have been something i missed. the other 40% is stuff i searched online to double check, but you know. take everything that isn’t an article with a bucket of salt. lord knows how messed up everything is after those sungmin antis started spreading rumours and stuff. 

if you need a clarification about something said above, you can send me a (nice) ask and i’ll answer!

one last thing, i’m not saying what the sungmin antis did to sungmin (with regards to trying to kick him out of suju, threatening his wife, etc.) is justified by whatever i said above. i’m just saying it makes it a little bit more understandable. but it doesn’t make them entitled to such actions and i 100% believe that their actions are unjustified.

[unordinaryquotes]

I think I may have the weirdest AU possible- what if Elaine had taken pity on Johnny Boi and taken him under her wing of sorts? (given her attitude to Sera after everything I don't think it's entirely impossible) Admittedly I had an AU like this a while ago but that involved john claiming to be a midtier instead of a cripple and I'm curious on your take

Let’s crack this nut boys.

So Elaine walks up to John and asks him about his ability

John replies that he’s powerless and Elaine is surprised. She feels bad for his position but before she can say anything some other classmates speak up. Her friends drag her away saying she shouldn’t talk to inferior people.

The next day John is getting harassed by a group of low tiers and gets beat pretty badly. Elaine sees this and comes to his aid. She disperses the group either by using her fighting abilities or authority. She heals him up a bit and takes him to the infirmary. While there, Elaine t alks to Dr Darren about John’s lack of powers and he warns Elaine not to get too close to John. Elaine, being the stubborn brat she is, ignores his warning.

The two become friends in secret because Elaine is too self conscious. The two frequently meet in the infirmary (because John’s always getting hurt while Elaine acts as an aid/pupil for Dr Darren) With the small chars between them, John starts to develop a crush. It’s not too subtle (well unless your name’s Elaine) so most of their grade figures it out. Most of the student body is disgusted that John thinks he has the audacity to have a crush on Elaine. Seraphina and Arlo especially are concerned about this.

When Sera and John are put together for their group project, Sera uses this time to interrogate him (it’s actually harassment but Sera doesn’t know the difference) His life is rough, doing Sera’s share of the work, getting beat up constantly, and he’s just about to break down. But the cute bluenette who talks to him with a shine in her eyes keeps him going. Eventually Sera stops beating around the bush and confronts Elaine on John.

Seraphina: You know that cripple boy in our class?

Elaine:John? Why are you bringing him up?

Seraphina:Isn’t it obvious. He has a huge crush on you. You need to shut that down

Elaine:Huh? I’m sure you’re mistaken. We’re just fri-

Seraphina:Did you just say you’re friends with a loser like that?

Elaine:So what of it? Who I hang out with is none of your business!

Seraphina:It’s definitely my buissness. You’re a respected member of the school! If anyone sees you interacting with trash like that it won’t just bring down you’re reputation. We’ll all lost respect! Even Arlo!

Elaine:Don’t bring him into this!

Seraphina:Thens top hanging out with that cripple. Or maybe you’re perfectly fine with letting Arlo think you’re willing to get with any guy who asks.

Elaine storms off in a flurry tears and locks herself in the only safe space she knows. The infirmary. Coincidentally, John is sitting in the infirmary at this moment. When he sees Elaine in tears he immediately gets up (despite his own injuries) and begins to comfort her. In his mind he vows to hurt whoever made her sad. When he learns it’s Seraphina he lets out an “Oh shit”. He’s strong, no doubt about it, but is Sera stronger? He doesn’t want to see.

Instead he decides to sabotage the project and the two of them end up with F’s. Sera yells at John about it saying he’s making a mockery of the hierarchy. John shoots back that hurting the ones under you isn’t how a hierarchy should be run ( almost like he has experience with it hmmmm)

Later that day Arlo talks to Elaine about her relationship with John.

Elaine:I was already chewed out by Seraphina. Why can’t you guys just let it be.

Arlo:We can’t. If people start thinking the hierarchy’s promoting inter-level relationships then more students will interact and more fights will break out. The weaker ones will be brutalized or taken advantage of and the mid tiers will start getting big heads.

Elaine realizes that her and Arlo could never be because of his current thoughts. She’s and elite tier and he’s a god tier. He’ll probably get with some other powerful girl maybe...Sera. The thought hurts her. Arlo tries to talk more to her but she refuses to hear anything.

Sera and Arlo talk, confused on what to do. Arlo thinks about getting Remi to talk to Elaine but he knows she won’t go for it. Sera meanwhile thinks John might be lying about his level. He has too much confidence and speaks like he has experience. Arlo gets Isen on the job (holding him at fork-point). Yada year ability found yada yada Isen shits his pants.

Sera gets a “good” idea. Why not tell Elaine that John was lying to her. Arlo is actually against this. No point in hurting her any farther. Sera grumbles.

Elaine and John spend more time together. John comforts Elaine while Elaine gives John a shoulder to lean on. As the two continue on to their second year the two of them start getting closer. When Elaine closes her eyes she sees face and she starts having weird fantasies about the two of them. Knowing she can’t talk to anyone about it, she keeps her feeling to herself.

However Remi one day asks how her friendship with John is going. Seeing just how flustered Elaine gets, Remi puts together that she also has a crush on him. She tells this info to Arlo who then tells it Sera. Sera is tired of waiting. Elaine needs to be brought back to reality. So she confronts her one day after school.

Sera tells Elaine that John is actually a God-Tier. Of course Elaine doesn’t believe this at first. Sera’s obviously just trying to get under her skin right? But then the Arlo vs John fight happens. John remembers the vow he made to protect Elaine from anyone who hurts her and Arlo is interested in seeing just how strong John is. The two fight + some Meili and Ventus backup.

Elaine gets called by Arlo to heal him and the two others. Despite not talking too often anymore Elaine still takes the job. She’s shocked at just who could have hurt Arlo. The god tier who she knew she would never have a chance with. The first boy she fell in love. He was now a bloody mess and not telling her anything. Maybe it was because they weren’t as close as they once were? She should fix their relationship. They’re still friends. But then she gets a call from John. And he sounds like a mess. She’s conflicted on what to do but Arlo tells her to go to John’s side.

She arrives at his home and is shocked. John looks just as bad as Arlo. Who could do this to him? Who could hurt him like this? The second boy she fell in love with. A boy she may finally have a chance with. Tears spill from her eyes but she starts her job. He needed healing, both physically and mentally, and she would give it to him. At least, that’s what she thought. As she’s healing him, she notices similar wounds compared to Arlo, Ventus, and Meili. Inside her head Sera’s words ring out. “He’s a god tier. He will always be above you. You are just a toy for him”

Why? Why was this happening? Elaine feels like throwing up. But there’s no way this is true. It can’t be! They’re friends right? He loves her right? Why is God so cruel?! John notices her pain. Still only half healed, he hugs her. She cries harder than she ever has. After a few hours, Elaine convinces John to be taken to the infirmary. Dr Darren (who does not get paid enough) takes care of his wounds and leaves.

The two of them are stuck in a room. What should Elaine say? What should John say? Should they even say anything? Why ruin what they already have? Elaine speaks first.

“You have an ability don’t you?”

John is shocked for a second but understands. He just busted himself by beating up Arlo. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten too close to Elaine. Maybe he shouldn’t have antagonized Seraphina. But that was all in the past. He admits it. No point in hiding it. Or at least no point in hiding it from her. She’s smart.

Elaine and John talk for what seems like hours. John wants to hide his ability and Elaine understands that.

Elaine:But should we even be talking to each other

John:What do you mean?

Elaine:You’re a god tier and I’m just-just a stupid healer

John:There wasn’t any problems with us when I was a cripple. Why now?

Elaine:Cause I don’t want to lose you to someone else

The two definitely both realize they’re in love. Might as well come out with it. As a new couple Elaine gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves the infirmary. (Dr Darren was waiting outside the entire time. He got locked out. However he could hear everything. He definitely didn’t cry. Nope. Not one tear. Just something in his eye)

Man that was a lot. Now I want some John x Elaine art. Oh the woes of me

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

I stopped believing in a Stelena endgame when Elena took away her memories of Damon but she fell in love with him without them - It seemed like a message. That she, in her current state, let go of Stefan and wholeheartedly fell in love with Damon all over again. I'm curious to hear your thoughts about this storyline cause to me, that was the nail in the coffin of reviving any romantic notion of Elena and Stefan being together. That her love for Damon overpowered anything she felt for Stefan

I do completely understand why you’d feel like that was the nail in the coffin for Stelena, but honestly, that entire storyline was a disaster from beginning to end and I’ve never been able to take it seriously. I’ve discussed it before in previous posts (x), but never really in depth, so I guess now is my opportunity to do that.

If the writers wanted Elena to fall in love with Damon without memories, fair enough. I’d understand why they might want to do that since the sire bond did always cast shade over their relationship and by having Elena fall in love with him without any memories, it would prove that it was real for her. The problem is that it was written so poorly and it made no sense. 

To do that storyline justice here’s how it should’ve been written: Once Damon came back from the Other Side, he goes to Elena and introduces himself to her, she’s nervous, but also excited and eager to see him since she knows the truth that they were together. Damon shares memories with her and despite the fact she can’t remember them, she can’t take her eyes off him and there’s a clear attraction and pull between them. Elena tells Damon that when he tells her about the things they did together she can’t recall any of them, but at the same time there’s a deep part of her that feels a sense of familiarity when he talks about them. Over the days and even weeks the two of them spend time together, going on dates, Damon shares more memories, he tells Elena about himself so she can get to know him all over again and eventually they kiss. Elena is confused about how she could feel such a strong connection to someone she doesn’t remember and turns to Bonnie and Caroline for advice. They’re honest with her and tell her about some of the bad things Damon’s done, which obviously Damon hasn’t mentioned, and Elena is hurt and upset. She confronts Damon and they argue. Damon comes to her again and is completely honest with her, somehow they manage to resolve their issues and they take things slow. I could continue writing this, but you get the idea. 

Instead of this, we went from Elena calling Damon a monster and saying when she looked at him it was like looking at a stranger to her literally risking her life to get her memories back of him (don’t even get me started on how utterly pathetic that was) and her practically falling flat on her face in love with him, despite absolutely nothing happening between them. Like is it just me or did that just happen over night? There was no progression that led to Elena developing feelings for Damon, it just happened. Explain to me how that’s possible considering she had no memories of Damon and he was literally a stranger to her, because I don’t get it. Elena didn’t take the time to get to know Damon and what’s weirder is she didn’t even consider the possibility of just not being with him. I mean, that wouldn’t have been so crazy since she had no memories of him, so it wasn’t like she was letting go of something important to her, he was nothing and she’d been living quite happily without him, plus her journal entry to herself specifically said that she wanted to try and find herself in the absence of “the one that defined her”. In Elena’s position I would be so conflicted and the fact that I knew I’d been with this person before wouldn’t be enough for me to give up on the contented life I’d been living just because I could love them again. Elena was under no obligation to give her relationship with Damon another try. Just because they’d been together before didn’t automatically mean she should drop everything to commit herself to fixing their relationship. We should’ve been able to see her struggling with the choices she had to make, but instead it was almost like she just swung straight back into the old patterns of behaviour, with Damon being the one that defined her. 

There were just so many plot holes and unexplained things in this storyline that I could never take it seriously. Even the idea of erasing an entire person from Elena’s memory seemed ludicrous to me, because how do you do that? They tried to explain it by saying that pin-pointing the moment that Elena first fell in love with Damon and erasing that would create a “domino effect” (those were the actual words used hence the quotations), but the question remains: how? That to me, just isn’t a satisfactory enough answer. When you think about erasing Elena’s love for Damon it sounds simple and not many people question it, but when you think about how complex that is, it’s really not simple at all. Every single moment Elena spent with Damon from the second she met him up until his death in 5x22 was significant in Elena’s life, not because she loved him or he was her boyfriend, but because he was just such a big part of her life for so many years. I think I’ve touched upon this before, but even before she loved Damon and she was with Stefan, he was still involved in pretty much every aspect of her life. How did Alaric compelling her effect her memories from the entirety of those years she knew Damon? No memories Elena clearly knew her and Stefan were broken up, but why did she think they broke up? She broke up with Stefan purely because of Damon, Elena herself even admitted that. If Damon wasn’t in the picture romantically, Stefan and Elena wouldn’t have broken up at that point, maybe ever. So how does Elena remember that? How was it that she was such good friends with Stefan and in such a healthy place with him yet we didn’t even get a basic explanation for this? How about all the times Damon helped them defeat an enemy or he saved Elena’s life? Did she just forget about them? Or did the memories simply get manipulated? The writers just didn’t think any of this through. If they had they never would’ve gone through with writing it, because anyone with half a brain could see that it was just way too complex to pull off and explain. They were already overreaching purely by writing in that Alaric could suddenly compel vampires, just because he was made from the Originals. I mean, what even…it’s stupidity. The writers constantly manipulate the mythology and history of the show so as to suit the new plots that take their fancy and that’s what they did with this. And it’s also why it felt like a fanfiction story written by an inexperienced writer, that had done little to no research and was inconsistent in their own narrative, because they simply wanted to romanticise D*lena’s relationship by throwing a cliched obstacle in their way. Because let’s face it, that was the only purpose for Elena losing her memories - to create unnecessary conflict for D*lena to be able to work through to prove they’re “true love”. Seriously, wasn’t Damon being dead for three months enough conflict in itself? I honestly can’t take it with the stupidity of this show sometimes haha.