#big ugly kidney stone

[sciderman]

what a weekend

[bogleech]

TOP TEN DINOSAURUSES

maybe you're wondering my most tenned favorite dinosauruses??? The science study of dinasacacers is called "dinosaurusology" by leading experts like myself, and it is constantly changing as we make new uncoveries almost every tuesday when we find new bones in my cousin rob's garage (he hasn't thrown anything out since the 90's!) As such bear in mind that up to two facts I am about to share could become dated over the course of the next century, however as both the king and queen of science this will only be true if I'm still available to approve the new facts. If I'm dead or kind of tired then nobody will ever know what's true anymore so you should be nice to me. #10: OVIRAPTOR

OVIRAPTOR was a good model for what all dinosacans were like: it was a wrinkly lizard that slithered in filthy dirt and had difficulty standing upright because its bones were made of rocks. This is why we have the term "the stone age," so be grateful you're living in "the bone age!" Oviraptor's name means "eggs velociraptor" because it was a kind of velociraptor that stole eggs. It didn't know what to do with them because nobody invented cooking yet and raw dinosaur eggs were disgusting, so every oviraptor starved to death.

#9: IGUANADON

This was the last known photograph of IGUANA DON (not to be confused with his cousin iguana dan) when george washington invented photographs 2 million years ago. Don was an ugly disgusting hilarious lizard monster with one horn on its nose and he died because he evolved a dining room in his torso exactly the right size for 21 cavemen to walk in and eat his kidneys. This was not helped by don's instinct to sleep on a big porch under a chandelier.

#9 DIMETRODON

DIMETRODON was the most common dinosaur of jurassic, which was the fifth and final era of dinosaurs after the ice age but before the ediacaran. In fact dimetrodon was the very last dinosaur to ever exist on earth before they were all eaten to death by the ediacaran's dominant predator: a species of swirly looking weird rock. Nobody knows why these swirly looking weird rocks died out, but it's most likely because dimetrodon was so poisonous from its diet of entirely pufferfish. You can tell it was a sea dinosaur because of its fish fin! #8: PTERADACTYL

PTERODACTYL was a regular dinosaur until it got married to a species of bat and its bat wife laid a bunch of pterodactyl eggs! This woodcut is however inaccurate: flying would not be invented until president obama discovered the first airplane in 1998, so pterodactyl couldn't possibly have stayed in the air and just immediately fell. The long 900 million year reign of the pterodactyl abruptly ended when the last one finally hit the ground (it took longer in those days because the oxygen disaster made so much more air) #7 SNORKASAURUS

SNORKASAURUS was completely unique among all dinocaurs by having a really long neck. It was one of the largest creatures to ever roam the earth at over 7 feet tall, or exactly 12 meters to those of you living in Liberia or Myanmar! This is the last known photograph of snorkasaurus, giving birth to the first cavemen. Snorkasaurus went extinct because all of them did this instead of making baby snorkasauruses. This is because like all dinosaurii they had only a tiny peanut for a brain, and nobody was around to give them 'the talk' because that wasn't invented yet.

#6 SMILODON

SMILODON was a very special dinosaurn because it was the first one to stand up on its hind legs after years of rigorous exercise and weight training. By inventing this new way of walking, Smilodon made it possible for the first monkeys to evolve! This is called "convergent" evolution.

#5 BULBASAUR

BULBASAUR was a majestic and beautiful species of neopet unfortunately disliked by the scientific community because it is the reason there are no flying dinosuars. Bulbasaur was the first ever flying dyanasar ever invented, 19 billion years ago on September 10, 2001, but the project was discontinued when its first test flight ended in a tragic accident. That's right: on September 11, 2001, Bulbasaur crashed into the stock market, causing the great depression that lead to the civil war :'( now to this very day, flying dinosarers are against the law.

#4 YOSHI

YOSHI is a type of dinersaulophus called a "bird," which was actually the second attempt by early neanderthal alchemists to manufacture a street legal flying dinnersauran, but the New Zealand government realized if dinophlofbuses can fly, then bats would no longer be special, and since bats are New Zealand's only major export it would have been an economic disaster. The queen of Australia (New Zealand's largest city) ordered the CIA to sand all of the wings off of these early prototype birds. Every bird tragically went extinct when it looked down, noticed how high up it was and remembered it could not fly, activating the effects of Earth's gravitational field.

#3 ANOMALOCARIS

ANOMALOCARIS was the dinosorcerous that discovered the first primitive cave painting of a modern day crab and invented carcinisation. All the other dinanders laughed at Anomalocaris for wanting to turn into a crab, but guess what??? Every single kind of dinosaur is dead but there's a crab still alive at 29, making it the oldest person in the world. Who's FUCKING laughing now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 EARL SINCLAIR

This is the last known photograph of Earl Sinclair, seen here as an uncredited extra in "Avatar 3: Lost in New York." Earl Sinclair was a sindonaur species that could disguise itself as a human by putting on sunglasses, a necessary adaptation in order to hide from the largest predator dancasore to ever live: Mellisuga helenae. However, near the end of the coal age, M. Helenae finally remembered that sunglasses hadn't even been invented yet. Look carefully, and you'll notice nobody is wearing sunglasses at all in this scene, making Earl Sinclair stick out like a sore thumb! If you're still having difficulty, here's a zoomed in image of this majestic thunder lizard:

Unfortunately......this wardrobe malfunction made Mr. Sinclair just as obvious to his ancient enemy, and the last Earl Sinclair's brains were sucked out on September 11, 2001, the darkest day in British history because he was the only one who knew the recipe to chicken mcnuggets (the only british food.) To this day all british people are extinct but you can still see their fossilized skeletons waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles.

#1 CONCAVENATOR

Concavenator was an Early Cretaceous carcharodontosaurid up to six meters in length with an unusual pointed crest on its back.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *  some of my favorite quotes from the show, adjust as necessary

his chops are too righteous!

it’s evil. it’s diabolical. it’s lemon scented!

lord knows i’ve tried.

two words. na. chos.

yeah, i get called that a lot.

it's just a cruel reminder that i'm single and likely to remain that way forever.

what doesn't kill you usually succeeds in the second attempt.

stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.

goodbye everyone, i’ll remember you all in therapy.

don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

i used to have a kidney stone. everything passes eventually.

you can't fool me. i listen to public radio!

stop it, [name], you're scaring him!

do instruments of torture count?

give to the children's fund? what have the children ever done for me?

this is not your average, everyday darkness. this is... advanced darkness.

what's better than serving up smiles?

i guess i'm not wearing any pants today.

did you smell it? that smell. a kind of smelly smell. the smelly smell that smells… smelly.

wake me up when i care.

look at all the hip, young people eating salads!

he was so ugly that everyone died.

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!

well, the way i see it, there are three possibilites.

hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep.

that’s it mister! you just lost your brain privileges!

good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.

well, we lost our car again.

pull your pants up. we’re going home.

you were right. fighting is for children.

i’m a good noodle!

remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

your ceiling is talking to me!

we don’t need television.

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

i’ll have you know i stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and i only cried for twenty minutes.

hey, if i close my eyes, it doesn’t seem so dark.

is mayonnaise an instrument?

those are some big words. i’ve never heard you use them before.

my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.

we destroyed your most prized possession.

we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.

let’s see, a five letter word for happiness. money.

can i have everybody’s attention?

i have to use the bathroom.

do you know what day today is?

could you not stand so close? you’re making me claustrophobic.

i used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.

are they laughing at us?

if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

he needs us now more than ever.

what is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow?

ice is just a myth.

this working out thing isn’t working out.

i can’t see my forehead.

i have a good idea, and no one else thinks so.

look at you, so young and happy.

i prefer to be an idiot!

sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?

don’t be sad, buddy. turn that frown upside down!

i’m ugly and i’m proud!

good! say it louder!

i can’t do it! i can’t be away from my best friend!

i need you! i can’t handle this myself!

i’m just going on vacation for a few days.

i was kinda hoping that you come along with us…

enjoy the cake everybody!

now we never have to be apart, even when we’re not together.

this is great. see you forever!

i have to keep you safe while i get some work done!

maybe he doesn’t like us.

no, are you kidding?

i propose a toast to new friends!

i guess i’ll have to move in back with my mom and dad.

he’s a thief. look at the lust in his eye…

why can’t you just accept our friendship?

[watchingthegregoryandjamesshow]

S1:E3 Occam’s razor

Okay first of all, what did I just watch? A guy is coughing, and than He and this girl start banging and than one of them passes out,

Woohoo! Here comes Greg and James!

James and the giant peach is like, “So there’s a person in the emergency room.” (The guy form earlier) and Greg Heffley is like “Alright.”

James: How was that so easy? Gregory: You know why ;)

James: Blood pressures not responding to IV fluids? Gregory: Yeh

James: *Smiles*

Gregory: That’s just WEIRD.

(What does this even mean? 😭)

So the House named Greg says “This guy has too many symptoms.”

He shows the other docs all the symptoms the guy has on a whiteboard.

The girl doc with a pony tail is like, “No condition accounts for all the symptoms.”

and Greggy goes, “Oh good, I thought he was sick, but it turns out he’s not!” Than says they need to treat the guy with a bunch of big doctor words I do not understand.

So now it cuts to a scene where the kid is coughing up a storm, his girlfriend is like, “Stop testing him, start treating him!” A doc says “Erm, actually we need to test him before he make him better sooo….”

Then Greg house guy introduces himself to a waiting room full of people, and says “Hi, I’m stoned, who wants me?” And then proceeds to look at the people like this….

Then the guys girlfriend goes up to the Australia doctor and says, “did I give that guy this sickness?? Me and that guy were having sex, and I was very rough.” And he looks at her, very concerned.

So now a lady is with Greg and says, “My mucus was pale golden rod a week ago, and I don’t like being told what to do.” Greg says “We’ll do a full body scan later this week.”

so than the Australia doctor, says to two other docs “That girl thinks she rode him to death.” and the girl doc says, “I hope you got some specifics! If she thinks it could kill him, It’s worth knowing about.”

and he goes “have you ever taken a life??”

Then the other guy Doc goes, “THERES FLUID FILLING HIS LUNGS, HIS KIDNEYS ARE SHUTTING DOWN!”

*Super epic realistic blood cell CGI*

“Our treatment isn’t making him better. it’s killing him.” *Dunn Dunn duuuuuunnn*

Gregory tells a guy he thinks his tie is ugly

The patient Guy’s parents arrive. He tells his parents “Hi. This is my fiancé.” And shows them the girl who Rode him to death.

The tests show the antibiotics didn't cause the kidney failure. Greg tells them the patient is getting better.

Greg is with a patient, but he’s busy playing on his game boy. ”My THRoAT HUrTS.” Says the patient

“Yeah, so you said.” Greg rolls his eyes. “HoW LOng Do I HAVE to WaIT?” ”Two minutes less than when you asked me two minutes ago.” 🙄

Australia is pouring coffee, but spills some because he was staring at the doc girl. Then she starts talking to him in very very graphic detail about talking about what sex does to the human body. “Did you know That WomEn Can HaVE An HoUR lOnG OrgASM?” Australia man just stares at her.

than this just happens:

Greggy boi meets with the family. He accuses them of giving the patient the "cough medicine" (He thinks the patient was taking an illegal drug instead of cough medicine) after he arrived at the hospital. The mother admits to it and finds the medicine bottle. Australian doc goes to the pharmacy. The guys mom says “Yas, those are the SAME pills I gave my son.” It turns out they did give the patient the cough medicine after all not illegal drugs.

Gregory says,

“I was not wrong everything I said was true, it fit! It was elegant!”

James: “so reality was wrong?”

“Reality is almost always wrong.” Greg says before he downs a ton of pills.

They start to prepare the patient for surgery. Then the patient goes crazy, and almost dies, They get his heart started again, But, they have to cancel the surgery. The patient now also has pain in his fingers. A doc guy tells Greggory, and he starts thinking of something.

Greggy goes into the clean room without preparation. He still thinks the patient was poisoned because of a new symptom, the guy is losing hair 🫨He thinks the kid has been using illegal drugs contaminated with Colchicine and orders treatment. The patient starts getting better.

But Gregory is STILL not satisfied - he still can't figure out the source of the poisoning. the patient guy starts coughing again. They give him cough pills, and he realizes they aren't the same as the old pills he was taking; the new pills have the letter "L" on them but the other pills did not.

Australia says to girl “wanna get some food?” but she cuts him off right away and says “Nah.”

It ends with a scene showing Greggy Pooh in the pharmacy after hours, he’s sitting on the floor searching through the bottles. He holds two similar-looking pills, they both have the same shape, only one has writing on it and one does not. He smirks, He was RIGHT. *happy music 🎉🎊🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉*

This show is the bomb.com guys 💯 🔥

[jeonqkooks]

I want whoever said I love you first, I'm sure it was Jungkook

our beloved summer; a drabble

“No, no, no, stop squeezing me so hard. I have to pee!”

You’re lounging on the couch with Jungkook wrapped tightly around your body, his arms holding your waist and one of his legs thrown over yours. It’s a Friday night but it’s raining like ass outside and despite the bad weather, some of your friends are still going out to release their stress after an exhausting midterms week. You two, obviously, could not be bothered.

“Then go pee,” Jungkook laughs lightly, untangling himself from you.

“But I’m so comfortable now,” you whine as you bury your face in the crook of his neck and sniff him. He’s warm and he smells like fresh laundry; he could be a good substitute for a bed.

One of his hands sneaks down to pat your butt innocently. “Come on, go pee. Do it for your kidneys.”

You make a noise against his neck, not budging from your makeshift pillows that are really just his muscles, until he starts pressing against your stomach, making you want to freaking explode from all the liquid you’re holding in.

"Seriously. My cousin had to pass kidney stones last year. It's a shitty process."

“Fine, jeez, stop! Dipshit…” you groan, moving to get up from the couch but not before you punch him square in the chest for being a douche. Laughing, Jungkook pretends to be hurt even though you both know your fist did absolutely no damage to him.

He watches you grumpily walk to the bathroom, and when you waddle back out a few minutes later — visibly more relaxed, he’s already semi-vertical, sitting (sinking) into the cushions lazily. You plop onto the couch again, your legs stretched across his lap as he rests a hand on your bare thigh, settling for the spot below where your sleep shorts end.

It’s very… domestic. Making instant cup ramen and wiping stains of spicy broth off each other’s faces as you eat. Cuddling on his couch afterward and being antisocial together, with him right behind you and chuckling at a funny meme every few minutes while you scroll through your socials. Reminding you to drink water and then reminding you to go relieve your bladder.

Feels like you’ve been doing this forever and not just shy of nine months.

You go back to looking at your phone, nearly ugly-snorting when you open the picture of Taehyung that Jimin just sent to the group chat. Now, Jungkook supposes, is as good a time as any.

“Hey,” he starts, and you reply with a quiet Hmm? to let him know you’re listening.

What Jungkook means to say is, I love you. What he could say instead to dilute the weight of those three words with something a little more lighthearted so you wouldn’t be as freaked out, is I think I'm going crazy because I might be falling in love with you, even though he knows he’s already reached that destination.

He’s been thinking about this. This being how to say it without making it overwhelming and having you run off on him, because these are big words he wants to tell you. A milestone. Jungkook knows you’re not used to any of it.

What he does end up saying is, I would do a lot of things for you. Taking a step forward and hoping that you’ll meet him halfway.

Your eyes drift upward to meet his, warm and chocolate brown and shimmering. Everything feels like fairy lights and a mug of hot cocoa. The only thing missing is snowfall outside your window, but it’s only nearing the third week of October.

“Like what?” you ask.

Jungkook rubs absentminded patterns into your skin. “Anything you ask me to,” he answers, pupils surely dilated half way to Saturn as he holds your gaze, a soft smile playing on his lips. He just knows that he must look like a lovesick puppy right now. “Would you let me?”

You narrow your eyes at him, tone accusing as you say, “What did you break?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Then what’s happening?” you chuckle teasingly as you poke his side with your foot. “Why are you getting sentimental all of a sudden? So mushy.”

You’re starting to deflect. He saw it coming from a mile away.

The truth is, Jungkook has been ready to say it before quite a while now, even before the new school year started. He was ready even before you parted ways for a month over the summer to go visit your respective families. He wanted to say it then, too.

“I’m trying," he tells you, which doesn't really count as elaborating.

"To do what?"

He simply shrugs. "To be respectful of your boundaries. To not scare you off."

"Why would you scare me off? What boundaries?" You prop yourself on your elbows, shifting your legs on his lap. You let out a nervous laugh, because Jungkook isn't making very much sense right now. "If you keep beating around the bush, I might think you're telling me you lo—"

Oh.

You watch him watch you piece it together, and then you watch his lips as he carries on, “Yeah. That. You know what I’m trying to say.”

Your mouth opens and closes. It does that a few times even though no sound comes out.

“Don't be pressured or anything," he reassures you. "I just wanted you to know where this is going for me. It's not on you to feel responsible for my feelings."

If this were the old you, your first reaction would probably be to get up and run. Change your name. Move to a country where nobody knows who you are. Start a new life. As if you're on the run from the law and someone had just found out about your identity. As if you aren't just a girl, sitting next to a boy, hearing him tell you that he loves you.

You reckon you would remember this forever. How your heart is beating so hard that your ribs might crack. How you might want to say it back. How you might want to say it back right now and not have to wait a minute longer. How it’s going to be real once the words are uttered. How you hope this would never end. How it would hurt like hell if it did.

You think a stupid thought, I’m like an onion. He’s peeling me open layer by layer.

Then, selfishly, I hope I’m not the one that falls harder.

Thunder crackles outside the window, spurring you on, calling you a coward. This is the same damn thing that you've been trying not to do — pondering the end even before the beginning, finding flaws in every little thing, focusing on the hypothetical negativity just so you could justify your excuse to not let anyone in.

Love is not foolproof, but you have to take a chance anyway.

Minutes pass by, and Jungkook still loves you throughout your silence.

“Say it,” you decide, fully sitting up now. Your phone lights up with notifications from your friends, something about Taehyung almost throwing up on the sidewalk and Hoseok potentially going home with someone. It sounds like they're having a nice time, but you could get to their updates later. You flip your phone over so you could focus on only Jungkook.

“What?” he asks, head tilting slightly as he looks at you.

“I think I want to hear you say it.”

“Are you sure?” He turns to face you better. “I don’t want to force you if you aren’t ready.”

“I’m sure," you confirm, fighting every instinct to run away. "Say what you mean.”

Jungkook doesn't though, not immediately. He watches you for another moment, trying to see if he should really do it. Trying to give you one last chance to bolt if you change your mind.

But you sit still, holding your breath, waiting for him to help you let him in. There's no going back after this.

“Okay," he says, warm hand still on your skin. "I lov—"

“No, wait! Turn around."

Jungkook blinks.

You blink, flustered. "Turn around. Don't look at me."

He stays in the same position for approximately twenty seconds before he finally turns, chuckling lowly to himself. This is taking a whole process just to get three words out. But it's fine. It's okay. He'll go at whatever pace you want him to.

You're worth it to him.

Once Jungkook is facing the empty wall next to the couch, the words roll off his tongue so easily. The ones that he has never said to anyone else; the ones that you've never had said to you before. Not in this way.

“I love you.”

He hears you breathe out, then in again. Your arms wound around his waist as you scoot close, until your front is flushed against his back. Your heartbeat is so loud that he can feel it, thudding, thudding, thudding...

You tell him with your chin resting on his shoulder, echoing what he told you earlier, "I— I would do a lot of things for you too."

You're returning his sentiment, just not in the exact same words. It's still a lot more than he initially hoped for, and while Jungkook does want to hear you say what you mean as well, he's content with this.

It's a promise that you'll do it soon; he just has to wait for a little bit.

[golbrocklovely]

since i was nicely asked to do so...

here are more of colby’s tweets from 2019.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

July 4 - sometimes i take the stairs cause i don’t wanna see people in the elevator

July 6 - i jus wanna drink mikes hard with my bros

July 7 - *random girl comes up to us* “OMG I THINK I KNOW YOU GUYS, WHO ARE YOU!?” us: “Jack and Jack” “HAHAH I WISH” *runs away*

July 9 - i still have a fat crush on gwen stefani

July 10 - it only takes one thing to make me not interested anymore

July 11 - everything will come full circle sooner or later. law of attraction

i’m in every hot topic , send me a pic if you see me

July 13 - i’m a mess

July 18 - it’s hard to let people in

July 20 - kidney stones scare me like i don’t wanna piss out a rock

(the difference two days can make huh? sksks i hate him SO MUCH)

July 23 - i just had a terrible nightmare

July 25 - it’s never been the same after

July 26 - WHO CARES ABOUT PEOPLE WE HAVE DOGS

Aug. 3 - i could sleep forever if i wanted to

Aug. 8 - everyone talks shit in LA

@/mikes_dead: lmao who we fightin b

@/colbybrock: everyone

my anxiety has been through the roof this past few days .. but we’ll be fine i’m so excited !

Aug. 9 - do what you want just don’t lie to me .. i see right through it

self care, i’m treatin meeeeeee right

Aug. 11 - sam and colby vs. the world. we love you guys, never forget. #ChoiceYoutuber let’s go baby

(wow this feels like forever ago at this point)

WE THOUGHT THEY WERE KIDDING hahahaha only we would do that

Aug. 12 - life feels so surreal lately

Aug. 14 - everyone needs a day where you can just curl up in a ball and do NOTHING.

Aug. 17 - i used to to have 3 guinea pigs named Patch, Reno, and Taho they all died horrible deaths

(this man has brought this up multiple times over the years and has never explained what happened. WE NEED ANSWERS COLBERT)

i miss the middle school Warped Tour days

Aug. 19 - pretty sure my neighbors think i’m a crackhead

Aug. 20 - i don’t like who i was then

Aug. 23 - @/mikes_dead: Everyone pray for my boy @/ColbyBrock nothings wrong with him he just ugly

you just mad cause i spanked you in beer pong

Aug. 27 - you can find me on my balcony listening to music most late nights

Aug. 28 - Sam and I have been working for the past few years on this project that’s literally the reason we started social media. it’s finally almost here .. revamped and better than ever.

if you’ve ever felt alone, help is on the way i promise

ill pour my heart n soul out

Aug. 29 - need to escape

Sept. 1 - i’ve been watching joey graceffa puppy videos every day ngl

Sept. 2 - nothing lasts forever make it count

no one will have me like you had me

Sept. 4 - i just got tickled on live TV how’s your day goin

Sept. 6 - calvin klein x colby brock ?

Sept. 10 - i always have a random song playing in the back of my head

Sept. 13 - being yourself no matter what anyone thinks is so important

my friends have been tellin me i’ve got a big head… not sure why (with a pic of him surrounded by himself lol)

Sept. 18 - ALL BLACK ALWAYS

Sept. 23 - i’ve grown up so much over the past few years. 2015 me is someone i’d like to leave behind forever

(he really doesn't like his past self. i'm not sure why…)

Sept. 25 - i’m constantly having a mental battle of whether i wanna go workout or eat a chalupa

[yanet0121]

A mother’s love, a new generation. Straight photography.

Angel, Smokey, and candy. We had Angel and Candy since elementary school. Sadly both Candy and Angel passed away in the last two years. Both dogs had multiple health issues, Angel had CHF and for the last four years of his life he had to be given medication twice a day every day. Candy had cancer for the last three years of her life, had multiple surgeries costing thousands of dollars and the last two years was on and off medications. The amount of love, money and effort my sister gave to these dogs is comparable to that of what a mother would've done. I applaud my sister for bringing them with her when we all moved out of my parents house and for the sleepless nights and early morning she had taking care of these dogs.  

Orange Blossom, also know as OB, is my husband's first pet. One of the funniest stories I ever heard is when my husband was in little league football and had his team over to his house celebrating his birthday and they accidentally let the cat out. In the middle of the party my husband broke out in tears, laying on the couch and not speaking to anyone. My mother in law stopped the party and made a bunch of 13 year olds pause the party and look this cat who was down the street hunting mice. My husband isn't the most affectionate when it comes to animals but this cat, his first cat, is his baby and he would do anything for him. OB is now 14 years old and still running our house and the other two cats

Toby, also know as rat boy, one of the most aggressive smallest dog I have ever had the pleasure to own. We probably heard he's so ugly he's cute several times before. He bite my upper lip off when I was 10 years old and I was still the same one who woke up every 2 hours to take him out to pee when he had surgery for kidney stones and had to take him outside to pee. The same one who would blend his food up when he no longer had any teeth to chew his food and carried him places when he no longer knew where he was because he was blind. Our rat boy, the first one to pass and the first one to cause the biggest heart break of our lives. He may not have been the sweetest, the cutest or the bestest but he was our baby

The new generation, Sparky (orange big one in the back), Smokey (big eared sticky dog in the front), and a Canelo (little rat dog). All these dogs are rescued dogs that my sister owns, the same sister who took care of Angel and Candy. 2/3 new dogs have backgrounds with being homeless bait dogs in the street and now come with behavioral issues but with enough love and patience my sister has managed to make them feel safe enough that they no longer feel the need to be on fight or flight mode. 

The New Generation. Stella, the small one, and Nina, the bigger one. Both are my babies and my best friends. I've had them both for closer to four years and over the years both have had health issues. Stella has a seizure disorder and I have had to get used to holding her while she has seizures, pushing medications into her nose and giving her pills when she's stressed to prevent the seizures. The first time she ever had a seizure, it was in the middle of the night and she sleeps right next to me, I woke up screaming and yelling for my husband. I kept repeating she can't die over and over again until it stopped. we then ran to the pet hospital and dropped over a grand for her to stay overnight and have labs ran on her. This has happened 3 more times and while it's a hit on our wallets we're not giving up on her. it's our responsibility to love and to care for her, I signed up to be her mom and I would be a monster if I abandoned her and when she needed me the most. Nina is probably the most anxious dog I have ever had. Her previous owners said she took up too much of their time and they didn't have the patience for her. I found her on Facebook and I knew I had to get her because she was a bigger version of Stella. When I first had her, I was actually scared of her. She does this grunting thing where it sounds like a growl but it's really her talking. I didn't know she was a talker but we time went on she grew more of a personality and really grew into herself.  While she still gets anxious we learned that she needs to get trazadone to help her when she'll be stressed and she's no longer afraid to live anymore.

The overall theme I chose is about being a having your own family, now I understand many people don’t agree with the fact that having a pet isn’t the same as having a child but I fully disagree with that. All of these dogs have insurances, dental cleanings, vaccines, take up your time, are given showers and many other things. My dogs have their own t-shirts and we’ve even done Halloween photo shoots with our pets. The amount of love my sister and I give our pets came be compared to that of a mom giving love to their children. In these pictures we captures our pets spending quality time with each other and how we have managed to turn them into our own little family, they are our fur babies.

[its-my-whump]

The Merry Whump of May - Medi Whump May – Day 23

@themerrywhumpofmay: “Good things come to those who wait.”

- Isolation

@mediwhumpmay: bleeding out

Unconsciousness, blood, broken bones, helplessness, desperation, vomiting

Follow-up: Days 21 and 22

The backpack was free. But there was another, in the matter of speaking, bloody problem.

Apparently Sam had landed on a sharp rock, that had broken his skin and probably resulted in severe internal damage just under the lower part of his backpack. There was blood on that stone, especially the sharp edge was covered in it. More blood on the ground and Sam's shirt was soaked from his waistband up to the middle of his back. The wound was on his right side, somewhere in the proximity of his kidney, she estimated.

A big ugly bruise had already formed and his skin was covered in so much blood, that at first she didn't realise, but there was more. Just after pulling up his shirt further her mind connected the thin white lines to actually being scars covering almost all of the skin she laid free. Tonya had seen something like this before, in movies. A desperate hand went to her open mouth. Just a second of despair, than she had braced herself again, concentrating on the task at hand first.

Tonya couldn't move him anywhere, so she was fast thinking on her feet and started to remove rocks from the ground where he had been laying.

He was still out cold, when she had cleared the patch.

Desperately she had scattered the contents of both their packs and made another makeshift bandage with her jacket and the cut straps positioning it around his stomach. The supporting sticks of his rucksack and the straps of her own were used for a splint on his left leg.

She prayed that he stayed unconscious until she was done and had him rolled back. The remains of their packs went under his head and she covered his body with his own jacket. His skin was clammy and cool, his face too pale. Tonya feared, that he had not only lost the blood on the ground, but was probably bleeding internally too. She was biting back her own dispair, silencing single sobs, that wanted to escape, while her hands were trembling so bad, she thought she would lose it any second, but nevertheless she managed to finish her tasks.

His bloodshot eyes started to stir, he blinked a few times until his gaze focused on her, when she tried to bring him back with his face between her hands, which had stopped shaking. Either she was too exhausted, or her mind had finally shut down to the cruelty of this situation.

"Thanx." Only a weak whisper, while his eyes tried to show the extent of his gratitude to her handling. She gave him a hearty smile and brought the water bottle to his lips.

Tonya didn't know why she was taking this approach, it just slipped out of her. "My mom always said: 'Good things come to those who wait.' But I believe that doesn't apply today. I got the radio, but down here, I can't reach anyone. I have to climb back up." She looked deep into his eyes, making sure he understood what that meant. He was breathing only shallow, his forehead wrinkled in pain.

Nevertheless his hand searched for hers. An low attempt to speak, most of his words soundless. "Why do you talk so much about your brother? You're far more interesting." A weak blink, his eyes closed for a moment. This foolish question had cost him most of his strength, she thought bitterly. But at the same time, a warm spark enlightened in her heart thinking about her brother.

His eyes were looking at her again, really demanding an answer. Her lips went up, but her eyes felt wet. "Because, he had a rough couple of years and I'm just so happy, that he's still with me and can finally be happy."

Sam gave her a genuine smile, but he was still fighting his pain. "You remember!" Tonya just realised, but she was too confused to be really excited and just smiled with tears in her eyes.

She leaned down bringing her face to his. "Don't you dare die on me, Sammy." Single tear drops fell onto his pale skin, when she kissed his cheek. Her hand brushed through his short, dusty hair a last time, then she was gone.

Neither of them knew if they would see each other again.

Sam didn't know how long she was gone. And he actually really didn't know her name, only that she apparently had a brother, she liked to talk about and something about fungus.

His thoughts were drifting, while his head got more foggy again for him just staring into the sky. It was getting darker. He was so tired and so cold.

He was circling the idea of taking a sip of water, but it seemed to be an unmanageable task. She had left him a bottle right there. Still, he believed some fluids might clear his head and could wash down the taste of copper in his mouth. Under muffed noises and painful grunts he managed to open the bottle and bring it to his dry lips, while his head came only up the necessary height. Every fibre of his body protesting. He was so exhausted. His head fell back.

Screwing that damn cap back on was an ordeal and he thought he was on the urge to pass out again when the bottle finally settled beside his hand.

Unfortunately his body had other plans than to give him some all so needed rest.

His stomach just protested and returned his tiny sip of water. This time Sam leaned to the other side. He was heaving badly, his rips shooting agonising pain throughout his body. His lower back, just where he was laying exploded in even more pain. Every cut, every laceration burning, his broken leg pulled his attention for a brief moment from his rips and back. His breathing picked up while he was still vomiting.

His head had sunken to the ground powerless. There was no strength left. Finally he forced his eyes open. But there was no pool of transparent liquid as estimated. He was puking up blood. His eyes adjusted to another even bigger pool of blood by his hip. His mind was not able to form any conclusive thought more than, 'this was really bad'. Her words resurfaced inside his head. "Don't you dare die on me, Sammy."

That could actually become a problem. He heaved again. The stabbing in his torso got worse. He couldn't breath. His vision was shrinking.

His mind was about to dive into oblivion, when a name bumped into his head. "Tonya! Her name was Tonya!"

That thought had diminished his last resources. Unconsciousness took him again.

TBC (here)

Previous

Masterlist

[loveaffaire]

Love Language

Pairing: Boyfriend!Tom Holland x reader

Summary: Even though Tom tells you that he loves you all the time, he has several other ways to show you that he loves you—really just Tom being a very loving, caring boyfriend.

Warnings/tags: mention of the pandemic, mention of a surgery, pure fluff, boyfriend!Tom

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: This photo is the whole reason that this fanfic now exists because Tom is giving off strong boyfriend vibes, enjoy🥺

You stared out of the huge window as you stood in the cold kitchen, swirling the spoon in the cup as your pretty little boyfriend, Tom, walked in the kitchen.

“Baby” he said, “I woke up alone” he complained.

You looked back at him to answer, “I had to use the washroom and then I couldn’t fall asleep so I just got up”

Tom nodded as he walked to where you were standing and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Why are you swirling the spoon in your milk?”

You let out a soft giggle, “I’m mixing sugar in my milk”

“Oh,” he frowned his eyebrows as he rested his chin on your shoulder, “don’t have too much sugar”

You walked to the kitchen sink to keep the spoon down as you turned around to take a look at Tom, “I’m 23”

“Sugar can affect anyone” he shrugged his shoulders as he opened the refrigerator to take out the ingredients to make pancakes.

“Touché” you said, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

“Did you take your vitamins?” Tom asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I forgot” you said and before Tom could scold you, you quickly said, “I’ll take them right now”

You scurried across the kitchen to open the small cupboard to take out your vitamins and gulped them down with the milk.

“I don’t mind reminding you to take them but what if I’m not here some day” Tom shook his head as he waited for you to answer.

“What do you mean by if you’re not here some day?” You stared at him stunned.

“No, no, I don’t mean it like that!” Tom hurried to you as he almost laughed, “I didn’t mean I won’t be here like that, I meant what if I’m at work”

“Oh”

“Yeah, like that,” Tom chuckled.

“You scared me” you frowned, gently hitting his shoulder.

“I worry about your health” Tom whispered as he gave you a small peck, “so don’t forget to take your vitamins, please”

“I promise, I won’t” you mumbled against his lips.

Tom taking care of your health and keeping a check on if you’re taking your vitamins is his way of showing you that he loves you.

•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•

Even though you consider yourself a huge introvert, the lockdown was kind of killing you. It has been a whole year in this lockdown and it was finally getting to you. The tragedies that were happening around the world because of the pandemic was breaking your heart and you thanked the heavens for keeping you and your family safe every time you watched the news.

Tom and you both had work from home now and even though you were thankful for being in the comfort of your home, the chair in your home office was starting to kill you and you desperately wanted to leave the house, even if it was just for a little while.

As you sat in your home office, typing away on your laptop, you huffed. It was so late and you were so tired, your back was killing you and you were pretty sure that your lip was bleeding by now because of biting on it too much.

You heard a knock on the door and then it was slowly pushed open, revealing Tom. He peeked inside of the room, his eyes landing on you as his lips stretched in a small smile.

“Can I come in?” He whispered.

“Yeah” you softly said, you twisted on your chair to face Tom as he approached you with a tea cup.

“I got you tea” he said, carefully putting down the cup on your table so as to not spill any liquid on your work stuff.

Your heart melted as you stared at his tired face. He bent down to give you a quick peck but you cupped his face in your hands before he could pull away. You gave him a chaste kiss, moving to his cheeks, you littered small kisses on his cheekbones.

“You just had a meeting, right?” You asked.

“Yes, I did” Tom nodded, his hands coming up to your shoulders to massage them.

“And instead of relaxing after it, you made me tea?”

Tom smiled against your lips, “I know you’ve been tired, just wanted to take care of ya”

You smiled as you pulled him down further, he was half sitting on your chair now, “if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to leave,” Tom laughed.

“I love you, thank you” you said as you nudged your nose to his, he softly giggled.

“Anything for you, I’ll do anything for you” Tom said sincerely.

You bit your lips as you stared at him lovingly, “stop biting your lip and come to bed when you get over with work” Tom said as he softly pulled at your bottom lip with his thumb.

“I’ll be waiting for you” he said as he got up, slipping out of the room and shutting the door behind.

Tom making you tea even though he’s just as tired as you is his way of showing you that he loves you.

•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•

“Hi baby” Tom gushed when you slipped under the covers.

“Hi” you whispered, laying down on the bed and opening your arms for Tom.

He moved closer to you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and softly kissing your neck.

“You smell good” you hummed, your face pressed to his soft brown curls.

“I used your shampoo today” he whipped his face up to look into your eyes.

“And also my conditioner,” you said, taking another sniff of his hair.

Tom laughed as he agreed with you. He pressed his face into your chest as his hand snaked under your camisole.

“Tom” you muttered, pulling at his arm to stop him.

You had a kidney stone surgery months ago and that surgery left a pretty big scar on the side of your stomach. Even though it’s been 5 months to it, you still didn’t like how it scarred your body and Tom knew that very well.

You didn’t change your clothes with the lights on anymore and sometimes you wouldn’t even take off your night dress when Tom made love to you.

“What?” Tom huffed.

“Don’t do that” you said as you pulled down your camisole.

“Y/N, I told you, the scar is nothing to be worried about” Tom pulled his body up as he looked up at you.

“It’s ugly” you whispered.

“It’s not-” Tom sat up straight as he held your hand in his huge ones.

“Listen to me, you struggled with something and fought it, the scar shows that you’re brave. You were so strong to go through a wholeass surgery and you didn’t even cry, not even once”

You smiled as you heard Tom ramble, he went on, “hell, do you know I was crying in the waiting room and Harry was laughing at me. He said that if I’m crying about a normal surgery then I’d probably pass out when we’ll have a baby”

“We’ll have a baby?” You asked with your hand on your heart, he was just so cute.

“What- I mean- yeah in the future” you raised your eyebrows at him and Tom’s cheeks flushed red, “but that’s not the point, the point is that-”

Tom sighed as he lifted your camisole and you let him, he gently traced your scar as he bent down to give your scar a soft kiss.

“This scar isn’t ugly, it’s beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful” he praised.

“Okay, please stop” you said as you covered your face with your hands, “I’m gonna start crying”

Tom laughed as he moved up to your face and pressed a kiss to your lips. You hummed in the kiss, content with how the conversation ended up.

Tom kissing your scar and telling you how beautiful you are is his way of showing you that he loves you.

•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•

Tom always had this strong urge to cuddle you in the middle of his sleep so even when he would be in a deep slumber, he would always always always want to hold you as you both slept.

And that was what he was trying to do right now, he switched from his left side to his right side and stretched out his arm to find your body to grab and pull in.

But as he mindlessly felt your side of the bed with his hand, your body was nowhere to be found. He barely opened his eyes to peek, only to see your body almost hanging off at the side of the bed.

You must have moved on the further right side and now you were close to falling off the bed. As Tom realised that you were going to fall, he quickly sat up and scooped your body in his strong arms, pulling you away from the side of the bed.

“Tom” you mumbled in your sleep.

“You were gonna fall off the bed, baby” he mumbled back as he settled you in the middle of the bed.

He pulled the covers over both of your bodies as he wrapped his arms around you to cuddle.

You gently smiled in your half asleep state, “oh”

Tom sighed in happiness as he kissed your shoulder, his body relaxing as sleep took over him again.

Tom saving you from falling off the bed and on your ass in the middle of the night is his way of showing you that he loves you.

© loveaffaire

[taeyohonic]

the trophy wife (m)

summary: the proposal doesn’t go as planned (established relationship, idol au, fluff and angst) pairing: min yoongi x fem!reader rating: explicit (18+) warnings (containing spoilers): swearing, robbery, pandemic, vomit, description of injuries and blood (very abstract), mentions of depression, insomina and periods, a hella lot ugly crying info: when i tell you that this is a super-duper fluffy piece, i’m not lying! it was 99% sweetness, so i added a little... angst (but like... only 10%) related work: the stalker | baby, what’s wrong? | favoritism (m) | the trophy wife words: 5.7k

“would you still love me if i became your trophy wife?”

yoongi snorts into his iphone, your grimace too adorable to be taken seriously.

“how bad are these papers?”, he asks. jungkook next to him is stealing curious glances at his hyung’s screen. to hear your voice so distressed makes him worry. you’re the best thing that ever happened to his member – your well-being comes right after his need for homemade kimchi.

“how… can they not know which products contain dairy? how yoongs?”, you vent eyeing the ungraded test in front of you.

“i ate… so much yogurt. the whole class did. we tested so much dairy products… like… so much. we drank all of the banana milk… how can they get this wrong?”, you continue. unbeknown to you, the maknae is now furrowing his brows at your words. wait a minute…

“noona, did you steal my banana milk last week?”, jungkook questions and moves closer to yoongi. before you can hide you see his big eyes joining your boyfriend on the screen.

“wow, jungkookie – your undercut looks so good. damn!”, you say. it’s not a total deflection; he does look extremely handsome after his haircut.

“noona, i thought i sleepwalked”, he whines, not caring for your compliment… right now.

“taehyung even made a meme out of it”, he complaints and you have the audacity to coo at him. yoongi tries to hide his smile, but he can see his reflection grinning on the screen.

“it was oppa’s idea!”

and now his smile freezes as jungkook moves his accusing glare to him. you don’t usually call yoongi by this name. and he’d be all too happy to shut you up in your shared bedroom. but now he and the boys are in the outskirts of seoul to film the newest music video, far away from you and your treacherous mouth.

“hyung?”, jungkook asks with the voice of a cheated wife ready to sign the divorce papers.

“it’s for the kids, maknae”, your boyfriend defends himself to which jungkook only huffs in irritation.

“there was a time when i was the kid – what happened? am i not cute enough anymore? noona? am i not the most adorable?”

his deer eyes stare at you – big, brown and full. you can’t help but to take a screenshot of these two – your rapper visibly done with his member and jungkook in the middle of a banana milk breakdown. you’ll have to frame this picture.

“you’re the most adorable thing there is, jungkookie”, you reassure him. yoongi just snorts when he sees the faintest flush on his bandmate’s face.

“that’s enough praise for him, baby. save it for your students.” there is no humor in the smile you send him. after a beat of silence in which you burry all your frustration deep inside the pits of your stomach, you try to change the subject.

“how is nature?” they’ve been in the woods for weeks, completely closed off from all the city drama. you’ve never seen jimin so excited to drive – while namjoon’s sour face reflected how much the latest failed drivers test bothered him.

“jin-hyung nearly died in the water today. it was epic”, your friend instead of your boyfriend answers and you have to shift a giggle at yoongi’s eyeroll.

“be gone, maknae”

rudely blunt – just how you liked your partner. jungkook just winks at you in a silent goodbye and gets up. he’s nearly out of the picture before his upper body shoves against the rapper. his nose is way too close to the screen and you’d be worried about his eyes – if you didn’t know how often the singer spends his nights in front of his computer.

“noona, you’ll replace the milk, right?”

“jungkook”, yoongi growls in responds. the boy is not acknowledging his colleague, so you give in and nod.

“of course, kookie. it’s already waiting in the fridge for you to come back”, you tell him. as soon as these words leave your mouth, the maknae is satisfied and gone.

“you don’t have to baby him that much, ____”, yoongi says while moving the phone closer to his face. you can see the dark circles under his eyes better now.

“what’s keeping you up at night, yoongs?”, you ask instead of answering his complaint. the rapper smiles faintly at the screen.

“you, baby, always you” yu snort and let yourself lie down on the couch – the papers can wait another day, or a lifetime.

“i wish”, you say truthfully. you’d sell one of your kidneys to relax with the boys far away from the pandemic madness. after having yoongi to yourself for two weeks non-stop, you are way too spoiled. even though your legs are deeply grateful for this recovery time, you miss the constant calm radiating off of your boyfriend.

“i’ll be back soon, baby”, he reassures you and draws lines across the screen. your cheeks look colorless and it worries him just as much as his lack of sleep bothers you.

“make it sooner”, you mutter and close your eyes when you hear his chuckle in responds.

“have you had dinner yet?”, yoongi asks but you don’t want to open your eyes, not ready to face his criticism.

“nah, i’ll wait till sungho gets here.” you don’t need your eyesight to feel his disapproval.

“that’s not very socially distance of you, ____.” yeah, no baby anymore. still, you remain shut off.

“he’s just a friend. one friend. one work friend. one work friend that needs help with the new school cloud. the online grading program is a pain in the ass.”

“and why do you have to do that at six on a friday night in our home?”, yoongi notices the tiniest of smiles on your lips as he mentions your shared home. he, too, loves your little flat with a pandora of memories.

“because i am a loner and don’t have anything better planed for the weekend and my boyfriend is camping in the woods and oh – there is a global pandemic”, you snort and open your eyes to watch your boyfriend’s tensed expression.

“if you’re a loner – what am i then? a stone?”, yoongi asks sarcastically.

“maybe a boulder”, you shoot back with a soft smile that melts his jealousy away… nearly.

“just… don’t let him touch my stuff”, yoongi orders. he’d trade his own maknae to be the one at the other side of your door when he hears a distant knocking sound.

“that’ll be him, yoongs”, you say and move off the couch with as much dignity as one can muster after a whole work week and no motivation left in the bones.

“promise to call me back when you’re in bed?”, your boyfriend pleads, reluctant to let you go. with him going on world tours this phone conversation isn’t your first and it won’t be the last. still, his small request fills you with yearning.

“of course”, you promise, eyes still on him as you open the door without a second thought.

a fist connects with your skull while your eyes widen at the sight of two ski-masked men. the pain is instantly blinding your senses and you start to scream with tears clouding your vision. you fall to the floor before they push their way inside your home. one of them, muscle clad with wide shoulders kicks you in the stomach just to move you out of their way. the other, smaller in statue, crushes your phone with his shoe, the cracked screen frozen with your boyfriend starring at you in horror.

**

namjoon will never forget the bone chilling scream waking him this evening from his nap. he’s never heard yoongi’s voice filled to the brim with pain. not even registering his movements, he tumbles into the living room where is friend is still yelling your name, his face a mask of panic.

“hyung, what’s wrong?”, namjoon asks as footsteps behind him signal the arrival of his bandmates.

yoongi’s hands shake as his eyes stay fixed on the screen of his form. the leader moves first, not able to watch his friend losing himself. when joon steps behind yoongi’s figure to calm him down, a cold shower travels through his body. the screen shows you lying on the floor with red dripping from your mouth. your eyes are closed, but namjoon notices the uneven rise and fall of your chest – you’re breathing.

“jin, call the police”, the leader orders without turning around. his hands try to pry the phone out of yoongi’s fingers, but they are white with pressure and unforgiving. his lungs are still screaming and namjoon’s heart breaks at the scene.

“hyung, - just… calm down”, he says, not quite believing in his own words. he wouldn’t calm down either in yoongi’s position.

“what am i reporting?”, seokjin asks, close enough that the question answers itself as soon as he peaks over yoongi’s shoulder.

“i’d like to report a break-in – there is a person, hurt. the address is-“

yoongi can’t hear his oldest colleague, the voice drowned by his worry for you. at first, he doesn’t register namjoon’s chest pressing behind his back, but then his body shudders when the fellow rapper hugs him from behind.

“hyung, we – sh – it’s gonna be okay. it’ll be okay, she’s okay… we… you have to calm down, yoongi”, namjoon sooths his friend of ten years and rocks them both from side to side.

“taehyung, call the building manager – there should be security in the foyer”, seokjin commands the young man who watches the scene in front of him passively. as soon as he hears his name though, the singer moves to grab his iphone with shaky fingers.

“look, hyung, she’s awake”, joon points out and yoongi shakes his head to move these stupid tears out of his vision. indeed, your eyes are open as you try to even your breathing. it looks like you are crying as well and yoongi has never felt this kind of searing pain before. to see the love of his life in tears and burglars destroying your home while he is in the middle of fucking nowhere, makes him sick. when he sees you trying to get up, only to drop back onto the floor, his stomach turns. yoongi vomits onto his lap and namjoon has to hold his friend upright as he loses consciousness.

**

you’ve never been this glad for the heavy painkillers your boyfriend has tugged away in the bathroom due to his immense shoulder problems. the icepack pressed to your forehead cools for body down; still, you are shaking with adrenaline as you watch the security guard pace in front of you.

“yes, sir, yes – no, of course sir, negative sir”, he looks at your shaking form and grimaces before answering. “minor injuries”, the guard holds his phone further away when his caller answers a few decibels too loud.

“the paramedics are on their way”, he responds, not daring to look you directly in the eye. after another game of “yes and no”, the security ends his call.

“how are you, ma’am?”, the man in uniform asks, but remains standing a few feet away. when he first got here after receiving a hectic message from his boss, you were crying on the floor – alone. his colleague is already checking the floors, while another is combing through the surveillance footage. it’s been five minutes and you still look like a ghost.

his instructions were crystal clear – don’t touch the subject. but his heart clenches when he sees your trembling form trying to calm yourself down.

before you can answer him, two paramedics arrive through the door. they zero in on the blood drying across your forehead. their hands press gently against your skin and ask you questions you try to answer. soon, they move you to a standing position, with your head wound dressed and your vitals checked.

“we’ll take you to the hospital, ma’am”, the older woman explains. with a few steps you are at the door – there, right on the threshold where your nightmare began half an hour ago, stands sungho, chinese take-out and laptop in hand. your fellow teacher looks at you with widened eyes.

“_____ - what the hell?”, he curses and nearly drops his food when you smile at him – your teeth unbeknown to you still tinted red.

“are you her partner?”, the paramedic asks.

“just a friend”, he answers, not letting you out of his sight.

“we have to get her to the hospital – will you accompany us?”, the medic questions and sungho nods. your little crowd moves to the elevator and the security guard closes your door with a soft click. the police will be here soon, he thinks as he watches your beaten figure step onto the elevator.

**

“this cannot be the way to do this, ___”, sungho exclaims while you are staring at the iv-drip connected to your arm in distress. you hate needles.

the hospital’s v.i.p room is normally reserved for celebrities, but they made an exception for you, the girlfriend of min yoongi. sejin’s hunched form outside the room might have played a role in that. bangtan’s manager arrived half an hour ago, worried and disheveled. his posture calmed when the doctors reassured him, you’d be okay. now, he’s waiting for seven idols in various stages of panic to arrive.

“it’s the way this works – just… do as i say, okay?”, you huff. there is a part of you not willing to let the last hours crash into you; not without your partner here. so, you’ve spent the last sixty minutes showing him how to use your new school cloud – the easy way, not the right one.

“but the course still doesn’t show in my settings”, he whines, and you roll your eyes while pushing cold pad thai in your mouth. the rich flavor appeases your hungry stomach and you swallow the take-out down in one breathe. songho is a godsend for bringing the ordered food with him to the hospital. it’s a much-needed distraction from the horror of your cracked rib and light concussion.

“you have to set the course to ‘official’ – it’s still private”, you explain with another mouthful of oily noodles slurring your speech.

sungho’s brows furrow in concentration when you hear heavy footsteps in the hall. the boys are there – and they are not slowing down.

before sejin can even try to greet the idols, yoongi pushes through the door – all six of them only a breath behind.

the second you see him, the tears start without your consent. yoongi looks crazy – his eyes gleam with insanity – as he sucks in the hospital air through his mask.

you’re here. you’re alive. you’re safe. you’re here. he’s here. you are both here. his thoughts are running in circles – not ready to slow down, not ready to expand.

your boyfriend resembles a statue; just standing in front of the hospital bed. his face screams for help and it breaks you as the first cry leaves your throat. in a flash yoongi is moving to you, bumping into a shocked sungho. his finger brush against your wet cheeks like you’d break under his touch, while your body collapses.

“baby”, he whispers – the first word his members have heard since he regained consciousness.

“yoongs”, you answer and throw your arms around his neck. the smell of vomit and sweat makes your nose crunch up, but your boyfriend hugs it all away. his forearms rest on each side of your head – supporting his weight – as he lets you hold on to him, the boyfriend who was playing idol life in the woods instead of being at home with his girlfriend. even through his mask he can breathe in your unique smell, clouded by disinfectant.

“noona”, the youngest whimpers from the doorway. jungkook is silently crying, his mask discolored from the tears. every member looks at you with sorrow, the younger ones visibly not as professional at keeping their emotions together. namjoon looks like he’s aged a decade, but there is a small smile pressing his eyes together behind his mask. you try to reciprocate his smile, but yoongi’s head his pressing against your cheeks with vigor.

“why don’t we give them some space?”, sejin says to which your coworker nods instantly. he’s your friend for sure – but this is a level of intimacy he’s not willing to share with you.

the members need more convincing as hoseok tries to gently pull jungkook back. the maknae vehemently shakes his head, not ready to leave you and yoongi alone.

“we’ll wait right outside, kookie”, seokjin coax him out of the room. he’s still reluctant so go, but jimin’s small body pushes against his back. soon, namjoon closes the door, leaving you alone.

your tears won’t stop and you try to move closer to your boyfriend – you want to feel him all around you. without words yoongi understands your need and presses his body down on yours. there is a sharp pain when his stomach meets your fractured rib.

“ah”, you breathe, hurting. yoongi extracts himself from you in a flash; every fiber of his being furious at your injury.

“baby”, he calls out as his fingers ghost across your ribcage.

“it’ll… it’ll heal soon”, you say timidly.

“how could this happen, baby?”, he asks, still more interested in your upper body than your eyes.

“i-i i should-d have che-checked the door before, ah before answering”, you whimper, ready to face the blame.

with yoongi’s lifestyle comes a certain level of danger. you’ve been trained to be more cautious with everyday things like grocery shopping, inviting new friends over, answering the door without checking the cam.

“no, no, no, no – baby – no…”, he hushes you. “they should have never been able to pass the foyer, nor should they have been able to move to the penthouse level.”

“i-i was so scared”, you admit, linking your fingers with his and pressing them close to your still beating heart.

“i know, baby, me too”, yoongi soothes you and flexes his fingertips against your warm skin.

“i’ve never felt this worthless… you got hurt… right in front of me… and i … i couldn’t do anything.” his voice shakes with emotions and slowly his stare moves to your bruised face. the madness has nearly died in his eyes – but there is still so much pain hidden behind his brown iris.

“i- i could have lost you”, he whispers darkly, speaking a truth into reality he is not ready to face. your crying has stopped now that the both of you are calmer and connected.

“nah, never, remember?”, you say with some form of humor behind your words. “i’m your trophy wife. trophy wives don’t die. first, they’d kill their rich husband”, you remind your boyfriend of your conversation half a lifetime ago.

“it’d be an honor getting murdered by you, baby.” his mask is gone in a flash and then you feel the warmth of his lips against your temple. “just let me finish my third mixtape first.”

**

“don’t move, noona”, jungkook pleads as the warm sunlight irritates your skin. the fresh air is caressing your body while the youngest tries to finish his painting. trees surround the both of you, resting on a soft picnic blanket. it’s the first time since your release from the hospital that yoongi has left you out of his sight. granted, you’re still not totally alone with the strongest bangtan member watching over you like a hawk. but it’s definitely a much-needed break from yoongi’s fretting.

after nearly throwing a tantrum in front of his manager und some staff members who wanted to continue the filming of their new “in the soop” show, all the members knew they’d have to handle their rapper with care. leaving you alone wasn’t an option, so taehyung and seokjin packed your suitcase with essentials and after your doctors determined you ready to rest at home, all eight of you moved back to the chill vacation home in the middle of nowhere.

the last few days have been difficult – the filming staff getting more and more irritated because the members flocked around you 24/7. sejin had to come up with a different schedule allowing every bandmate time to reconnect with you as well as time to do their work. only yoongi was allowed to not leave your side most of the day – him working on the new music being the cover for his absence.

but after days of your boyfriend breathing down your neck, you’ve had enough. so, now yoongi is out on the water with seokjin fishing, while you’re spending time with jungkook.

“when did the police say they are coming?”, you ask the painter. his nose is crunched in concentration as he tries to outline your hipbone.

“they should be here before lunch – if your boyfriend even manages to catch some lunch”, he answers. you snort, messing up his grasp of your proportions.

“i do have faith in seokjin’s ability.” jungkook chuckles but keeps his eyes on your drawing. you look so delicate, so soft, he can’t believe they nearly lost you.

“i got robbed – i didn’t die, kookie”, you read his mind as his eyes darken.

“you got hurt”, he responds through clenched teeth.

“and they’ll pay for that”, you vow. the police had called this morning with the news of your robbers being captured during another crime. you’re still not sure how the officers can be so sure they’re the same criminals, but you’re eager to close this chapter with your statement later that day.

your painting session gets interrupted by namjoon. “the detectives are already here, ____.”

jungkook is by your side in a flash and together with the leader the both of them help you up. the rib is healing and harsh movements still hurt. yoongi had a near meltdown when you tried to ride him yesterday morning only to topple over in pain.

“yoongi and jin don’t have a signal out in the water – but they won’t be long”, namjoon explains and guides you indoors to meet the two officers.

“ms. ______, a pleasure to meet you”, the older policeman says in greeting. the younger one only shifts uncomfortable when he sees you flanked by two famous idols.

“thanks for coming all this way”, you respond and bow slowly, not to put extra pressure on your rib.

“is there somewhere we could talk – uhm- privately?”, the old man asks and you show them to one of the office rooms in the back. jungkook reluctantly leaves your side and joon only squeezes your hand in passing.

“just holler when you need us, _____”, he says before ordering the maknae to clean the art supplies.

with both officers sitting across from you, you nervously fiddle in your chair.

“the two intruders were caught this morning while pawning off their haul”, the younger policeman states and shows you a surveillance picture of two familiar men. their figures alone invoke iced fear in your heart, and you push the picture out of your sight. after a moment of silence, you collect yourself enough to absorb the information.

“what did they steal? i – i didn’t report anything missing, sir”, you question. sure, they trashed the painting yoongi brought for you during your last vacation in italy. and some cloths were thrown across the bedroom – but there was nothing stolen. you even signed your statement last week before leaving for the woods.

the officers look at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“miss, you reported the item missing days ago. there is even a harsh voicemail left with your fiancé demanding a swift investigation.” you shake your head at their words – no, you didn’t.

“which item?”, you ask the men with narrowed eyes. you’d been off the pain meds for days now. but to call yoongi your fiancé? clearly, they’d switched up cases. the older officer opens his briefcase to retrieve a plastic bag with a… ring in it.

“in my days, my wife would have never forgotten about her engagement ring”, the man snickers as you watch the cold metal in front of you. it’s beautiful – it’s so yoongi, you wouldn’t be surprised if he himself crafted the asymmetric diamond set on roughened silver.

you’d dreamed of this moment for over a year – to lay eyes on the ring cementing your future in stone – or diamonds.

never would you have imagined it to be this tainted with two officers starring you down and the jewelry wrapped carelessly in plastic – a piece of evidence – while your boyfriend is fishing with kim seokjin.

“uhm”, you hesitate as emotions swirl around your brain. he was going to propose? to you?

“i had half a panic attack carrying it around with me the whole day – that thing could pay off all my debt, as well as my kid’s college fees”, the officer jokes, still not recognizing your surprise as genuine.

“uhm”, you try again to form words.

“we’ve all the papers here for you to sign; after that we’ll be ready to get out of your hair… for now”, the youngest states and moves different documents across the table. they lie next to yoongi’s engagement ring – your engagement ring.

“uhm”

giving up on forming a coherent sentence, you move along and sign your name on the different protocols. the paper from your insurance company makes your heart still – reading all the zeros on the price of your ring.

this… is by far the worst engagement set up you’ve ever heard of. your hands shack and your signature looks just terrible, but it’s enough for the two detectives. they still don’t seem to find your reaction odd as they collect their stuff and bid you fare well. like a zombie you get up and follow them to the front door, your ring clutched between your fingertips.

jungkook and jimin are waiting for you next to the foyer and jump at the sight of your pale face.

“everything alright?”, jimin asks and places a protective hand on your back. your slow nod does not convince them and their eyes sour at the policemen.

while the younger officer takes a step back, the oldest just chuckles at your idol friends.

“all is well, kids”, he sooths them. then both bow to you and you can only muster an awkward smile, the jewelry heavy in your hand.

“happy wedding planning, ms. ____”, he winks at you before they leave. the soft click of the closing door is the only sound in the hallway. you’re not even sure you’re breathing.

after a beat of silence you flinch at the sound of jimin’s high-pitched squeal.

“weeeedding”, he asks, way too loud and way too joyful. the mochi-cheeked idol excitedly jumps up and down, not really caring that you remain silent.

jungkook on the other hand looks … really upset. “you told the police but not me?”, he whispers betrayed.

you could cry as you feel the headache from your concussion clouding your mind. this is… too much.

“uhm”, you’ve decided to stick with your running-gag answer and push both idols out of your way.

your feet carry you out of the house, through the terrace door and before you know it, you’re running across the green gras. the smell of the lake invades your nose while you search for you boyfriend. yoongi’s boat is still on the water and you spot both men resting against each other with their rods, ready to catch your lunch. sunshine shimmers on the lake’s surface as you run onto the dock. your bare feet press against the wood while your hair rushes around you – the wind breezing through the unkempt strands.

**

“is… is that _____, yoongi?”, seokjin asks his fishing buddy who’s more focused watching the water for prey than his surroundings.

“huh?”, he hums, not really listening to his friend.

“i- i think your girlfriend wants to talk to you, yoongi”, the old singer says hesitantly as he sees you jumping up and down on the wooden dock. this can’t be good for your health.

swiftly, the rapper turns to the spot seokjin is pointing at. and there you stand – beautiful and barefoot, dressed in his t-shirt and some old leggings. your hair is a mess and the sun dances across your skin like the tiniest firework.

“MIN YOONGI”, you shout at the top of your lungs. your boyfriend flinches hearing your loud voice across the water.

“she sounds angry”, seokjin whispers.

“YOU FOOL”, you continue to yell and see seokjin’s shoulders shake with silent laughter.

“oh, i hope the crew gets this on tape”, he says with glee while yoongi really, truly tries to find a reason for your anger. he’s left you alone today, at your request. maybe you didn’t really want him to go? was it a test to see how much he wanted to stay with you? did he fail?

“I GOT YOUR RING!”, you shout and flash the evidence bag high in the air.

immediately, the rapper shoots up from his sitting position, rocking the boat dangerously form side to side.

“yah, yoongi, what the hell?”, seokjin swears but your boyfriend’s eyes rest on you, holding your engagement ring in a plastic bag. there is no air in his lungs – he’s been thinking about this moment for the last two years. he dreamed of your joyful tears, how soft your hands would feel while pushing the silver banner on your finger.

and now… he’s an ocean away from you holding on to the jewelry that got you hurt weeks ago.

“DO YOU WANT TO ASK ME SOMETHING, MIN YOONGI?”, you scream and your boyfriend’s eyes widen when they see the smile on your lips; do you – do you find this funny?

without thinking, he takes a step forward.

You can only watch seokjin’s helpless grimace as yoongi brings the boat out of balance. both idols topple over and splash into the cold sea.

the icy water doesn’t bother the rapper as he pushes to the surface. the sun shines high up while he speeds to the dock. you’ve never seen your boyfriend this determent – his laps forceful and quick, leaving a still shocked seokjin behind.

your fingers shake as you watch him come closer and closer to you. in mere moments he’s close enough for you to hear his heavy breathing.

yoongi heaves himself out of the cold, his shoulder screaming in pain, and then he is dripping in front of you. your boyfriend looks like a wet dog, the black hair plastered to his forehead as he steps forward. you can smell the sea salt across his drenched clothes.

the engagement ring screams from the bag to be acknowledged and yoongi is just… staring at you deeply.

“i had it all planned”, he whispers wringing his sweater. the gush of water drops on the deck, but the idol only looks at you. “weeks ago.” his fingers wrap around your writs, a silent plea to give the ring to its rightful owner – for now.

“i wanted to take you to the restaurant where we had our first date”, he admits and opens the bag. your first date had been a disaster – you’re still vividly remembering the food poisoning.

“then all the restaurants closed down; we were both so stressed… and… life went on”, yoongi continues as the ring dances between his fingertips. it looks like art without the plastic cheapening its presence.

“i... wanted it to be perfect.” his whispered words fall to the floor as he kneels in front of you. warmth is coloring your face, seeing your idol submitting to you.

“baby… you know how much i love you… how much you inspire me every day to become the best version of myself”, yoongi’s voice cracks against his words and you can’t help the softest coo from leaving your lips.

“i promise i’ll make you the best trophy wife of south korea.”

you snort as you hear boyish snicker from behind you at yoongi’s joke.

“will you spend the rest of my life with this ring on your hand?”, he asks and without waiting for an answer, he pushes the silver band on your finger. it fits perfectly.

“am i not supposed to agree first?”, you respond as your eyes stay on your future husband.

“oh baby, you agreed the moment you ate my burned pasta.” yoongi gets up and pushes a lose strand of hair behind your ears.

“you agreed the moment you moved in with me, a struggling insomniac.” his hands cradle your face, framing the expression of love between his palms.

“you agreed the moment you let me change your tampon because you were too drunk to move.” he gives you airy butterfly kisses.

“you agreed the moment you didn’t kill me for stealing your favorite ice cream from the freezer.”

“that actually was a close call”, you chime in, only to hear his soft chuckle.

“you agreed all those nights staying with holly in our shared bed while i traveled across the globe.”

a kiss is planted on the fresh scar across your temple. “you agreed all these moments where my depression was too much, where i was trapped in my own misery.”

a line of kisses travels to your mouth. mere millimeters from your lips he stills. “you do, right?”

under all the layers of love, confidence and familiarity, there is still a shy boy unsure of his worth. your smile is infused with giddiness as you close the gap, pressing your lips together in the softest kiss.

“i do”, you whisper in his mouth, only to meet his tongue with your own in a joyful dance. the boys around you are cheering, while the soft waves of the lake clash against the dock. you’re in pure bliss, kissing your wet fiancé fiercely.

and then you hear a loud thud, a wet slash on the wood. surprised, you both jump away a step – only to see a heaving seokjin lying flat on the deck, chest rising at a fast pace.

“i near- i nearly died for th-this engagement, ____. if – if i’m am not the be-best man, i’ll… will cast a spell on all- all yo-ur children.”

____

ah, this fic is crazy and totally not what i imagined it to become. i hope you enjoyed the read! there is only one chapter left (the stalker) – who’s excited for it? i hope you are doing well! to you, your family and/or loved ones i wish only the most festive time this week! love, dana

[luninosity]

Attempting to do this whole @whumptober2020 thing! (Still working out how to best put these on AO3, since they’ll all be pretty short!)

Here’s day 1: “waking up restrained” - for which Steve/Bucky seemed like the thing to do...

#

Bucky’s woken up in restraints before. He even remembers some of those times. The fun, the not so fun, and the ugly. This one definitely qualifies as ugly.

 He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak—don’t let them know you’re awake, whispers the Soldier in his head, don’t give away any information, don’t give them a reason to hurt you more—but he thinks he’s alone in the room, wherever the room is, if it’s still the same room he’d gone down fighting in. This is not good for a number of reasons, not least of which has to do with Steve also not being in the room.

 Steve Rogers will fight the world if someone needs him. Even more so if that someone’s Bucky Barnes, who doesn’t deserve Steve’s big damn hero heart but somehow gets to have it anyway, to cup it in both hands and keep it safe.

 Bucky tries to move his arm, the vibranium one. Can’t, in the way that suggests something’s very wrong. He can’t feel much either. Sensors not working. Okay. Good to know.

 He makes himself breathe for a second, not remembering pain and helplessness and the phantom space at his shoulder when he’d first lost—

 No.

 He does a rapid mental inventory. Broken ribs: definitely. One cracked femur, though it’s knitting itself back together. Dull aches around his kidneys. A bullet through his stomach. Something not working right in his throat, but that’s also healing. His flesh and blood arm feels wrong too. Crushed. Numb, in an ominous way. Not mobile.

 He can handle all of that. Whatever they’ve done to his arms might be an issue, but he’s felt worse.

 He guesses Steve’s busy making some other people feel a lot worse too right now, unstoppable angry ball of justice that he is; that has to be the case, because if Steve’s not fighting, that means Steve’s in even worse shape, which isn’t allowed to happen. Not while Bucky Barnes is alive, thanks.

 He opens both eyes.

 A straight-up medieval torture chamber looms back at him, except it’s also made love to a mad scientist’s laboratory, which come to think of it describes Hydra as a whole pretty well. Water drips down a wall for an extra-unpleasant slimy effect, dim light glints off worrying metal implements, and there’s a giant hole in the wall over to the left, courtesy of one of Bucky’s grenades colliding with a mystical incantation in their way in. Nobody’s anywhere in sight, and they must’ve figured Bucky was taken care of for the moment, since he’s lying on a cold stone floor with his legs in manacles and an honest-to-God boulder pinning both his arms.

 Stupid of them, really.

 He remembers storming the fortress, him at Steve’s back, as always. He remembers Steve giving orders, directing agents to rescue their captured friends. Of course it’d been a trap, but Steve Rogers will walk into fire or ice or in this case a goddamn warlock’s dungeon to save good people, and it’s Bucky’s job to make sure someone saves Steve.

 He’s guessing that, if Steve hasn’t come for him yet, some saving might be in order about now.

 He can’t move either arm yet, but his legs’re doing better. The healing feels strange, though. Off somehow. Sluggish.

 They’d run in and there’d been people, both the mystical chanting kind and the kind with guns, and Steve had gone right through them in search of the kidnapped agents, and Bucky’d noticed the weapon shakily being lifted by one of the men left on the ground in Steve’s wake, and he’d thrown a knife and thrown himself in front of Steve but everything’d gone black and broken—

 So our strategy failed, muses the Winter Soldier silently. That piece of Bucky’s head isn’t judgmental, because it doesn’t remember how to be, but it does unemotionally consider data and move to the next option. Assume that Captain America is incapacitated, and follow procedure six for—

 “Shut up,” he says aloud, “nothing failed and nobody’s incapacitated, I got between Steve and whatever the fuck it was, that was perfect strategy,” and twists an ankle, in a rusted loop of iron. This’s going to hurt, and he’s not going to like it.

 It does, and he doesn’t. He doesn’t quite scream or pass out, though he would’ve been okay with either, frankly. He’s not worried about what any Hydra surveillance thinks of him, if they’re even watching.

 He does lie very limp and immobile for a while, unable to do much else, while his broken and now freed feet put themselves into some sort of order. Little glittery sparks dance along his vision. His breathing’s short and shallow with pain.

 But, hey, he’s got feet. Which means he’s got explosives. No one took the time to search him, at least not properly. He wiggles off his boots, once he can. Finds a helpful little destructive toy with his toes. Flings it at the boulder.

 The rock explodes, which given that it’s above his head, anchoring his arms where he’s pinned to the floor, might’ve not been hist best idea. Stone shards fly. Burning flecks lace his skin. His hearing vanishes in ringing echoes.

 He tries not to think about his crushed arm, or the non-functioning metal one, or the way his gut’s bleeding still, a trickle.

 He makes himself sit up, because he’s free and Steve needs him. His arms’ll heal. He’ll heal. No matter what they’ve done to him.

 Steve, he thinks; and he winces as a bone straightens itself.

 He makes himself get up, hand on the wall for support. His ankles aren’t thrilled, given what he’s just put them through, but they love Steve too, so they cooperate.

 Steve, he thinks again, I’m coming. And he stumbles toward the stairs.

[skekshroom]

Garshim x Reader plox 🥺 👉👈

[Gaershem x reader]

You are a snow queen from a place on earth we both know and love, you have a sister and a brother in law. You are also blonde. We will not further discuss this in detail, however, you drink some tea that some random woman gives you in a tent, right? Like, its good tea. But you pull a Tae in Tides of The Dark Crystal and pass out. You wake up in the castle of the Crystal and its kind of poppin actually.

You see skekSo and he’s not really that fine he actually kind of looks like a desaturated blackberry that got left in the back seat of my mom’s Mazda. But like... if you turned on the cloudy filter on instagram kind of high because he’s pale and that makes him kind of look anemic. 

So you ignore him and instead look at the fresh delicious looking horsehsoe crab standong next to him. Its really big and kind of hunched over so you call him Tall Crab Quasimodo and notice how in a way he looks like the goth version of the brine king from Aquaman 2017. Then, you kiss. But he has no mouth! No mouth at all. And you kiss nothing but empty carapace and you look so stupid when you do it !

“He has no lips!” You cry. “How will he get a kisss kiss?” “Very ugly.” says skekSo. But he is actually not very good looking himself. He looks like he needs to do a collagen face mask and maybe a pore strip. I’d also recommend he puts a healthy bit of lotion on his face after a cold wash. Maybe he can gently exfoliate and drink a little more water he looks like he’s going to pass a kidney stone any moment now.

Candy do you have any more ideas I need to get get off the call in like 10 minutes for a moment caus eim getting really hungry I want to make a bowl of cereal and maybe drink some water becaus ethinking about how cry and ashy and crusty skekso and the garthim are makes me need to drink some water also im at risk for kidney stones because my kid

brb paused to laugh anyways im just gonna post this now please check your tumblr thanks

[deaky-disco-queen]

All You Have To Do Is Fall In Love - Joger Week Day 4

A/N: Prompt: Jewelry; This was so much fun to write, to be honest so enjoy!

Can also be read on AO3.

+++

Roger was a fashionable in a way John could never be. Even when there was no order in their closet, it was easy to know which clothes belonged to Roger and which belonged to John. He just wasn’t interested in fashion the same way his boyfriend was. 

It didn’t bother John that most of their closet belonged to Roger and it didn’t bother him that he had to clear out a space for a dresser so he could store his extensive jewelry collection. He wouldn’t have built him a vanity if it had been the case. It also didn’t bother him that Roger needed a couple of extra minutes to get ready sometimes or that John was the one who ended up doing most of their laundry  because Roger wasn’t to be trusted with a washing machine. 

What did bother him, though, was how picky Roger was. Not because he ends up complaining to John about how stupid some trends were and how ugly some stuff- especially rings, earrings and jackets- was for much longer than John thought somebody could talk about this topic but for the fact that John was panicking about buying an engagement ring. 

They had been together for a couple of years now and John really wanted to propose but he needed the perfect ring for it. 

He just couldn’t find it. 

John knew what kind of rings Roger liked- he listened when Roger went on about things even if John didn’t really understand it- he just couldn’t find the one that combined the parts into one ring. Especially not if John didn’t want to sell a kidney to be able to afford it. 

He went from jewelry store to jewelry store, grimacing at the prices and the reactions he imaged Roger having if he were to present him with those rings and he could feel his hopes sinking. 

For one moment, he kind of wished he was dating Brian instead. Freddie didn’t have this kind of problem when he bought a ring for him and John knew he would not have any issues finding one for Brian either. But when he thought about it for longer than a second, he scrunched up his face in disgust. Brian was his brother. And a prick. 

He had also not invited Freddie for a reason even though he knew he could find a ring for Roger in under an hour which he would love but John didn’t want that. He wanted to be the one to find the ring. Maybe it was a bit childish but it was his engagement. He loved Freddie but the man was already so involved in his love life- having introduced the two and played matchmaker and he would be John’s best man if Roger says yes- John wanted to do this on his own. 

John left another jewelry store without a ring and with only more examples of what he didn’t want. 

He groaned in annoyance, fumbling his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lightening one. He had promised himself as soon as he had a ring, he would quit smoking but for now, he had went through more packs than ever. At least it felt like it. It probably didn’t help that he hadn’t told anyone about his plans yet. Brian couldn’t keep a secret like this to save his life and Freddie would offer to help and John had never had the heart to deny his help when he offered it with his puppy eyes. So he had kept it a secret. 

One more store, John decided, then he would call it a quits for today and try again after doing some more research about which stores he could go to. 

He found a small store in a side-alley, squeezed in between an occult store and a tiny café. He had never seen it before but decided to give it a try. It couldn’t be any worse than with any of the other stores. 

The only person inside was a small, old lady who lit up when she saw him.

    “Oh, hello there, my dear! How can I help you?”

Her smile was much more gentler than any of the other salespersons he had met today. Not that he blamed them- they were only doing their jobs, too- but it got frustrating after a while. He returned her smile with a tired one from himself as he approached the counter. 

    “I’m looking for an engagement ring.” 

The woman’s face lit up even more if that was even possible and she nodded in excitement. 

    “Do you have any ideas about it yet or are you open for suggestions?” 

    “He’s quite picky. I can tell you what he doesn’t like and then we can go from there?” 

    “I can bring a few rings out for you to point out what’s good and what's bad. One moment, please.” She shuffled towards one of the showcases and pulled out a small assemble of rings to place them in front of John. “Those are some more popular styles for men.” 

John sighed and nodded. He couldn’t blame her for doing the same thing like everyone else. They couldn’t know what Roger liked. 

    “He isn’t really a fan of those big, broad bands. He likes thinner bands.” 

The woman hummed thoughtfully before putting the rings she had picked to the side and came around the counter, waving John to follow her. 

    “Let’s do this differently. Point out which parts of the rings you like and we go on from there.” 

John nodded again. It wasn’t much different from how the rest of his day had went and he obediently pointed out stuff he knew Roger liked and also made sure to mention what didn’t work at all for them, hoping it would lead to something. He didn’t have much hope if he was being honest but he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. 

After many rings, the woman hummed again and told him to wait as she picked out rings she thought to fit his needs. Meanwhile, John checked his phone to see several messages from Roger who took his lunch break to send him some selfies and John quickly sent a couple of hearts back and saved the pictures in his folder for Roger’s selfies he made on his phone. 

    I think I have something for you. Look at those, dear, and let me know what you think about them.”

John flinched but composed himself quickly when the woman looked at him with one eyebrow lifted, gesturing towards a new selection of rings. 

They were way better than her first try and much more of what John had envisioned for Roger. He carefully squashed the little shimmer of hope that threatened to rise in his chest just so he wouldn’t get immediately disappointed if something didn’t work out in the end. 

“I like this one.” He lifted a silver ring with three diamonds- a bigger one in the middle and two smaller one framing it- and held it up to inspect it closer. “Do you maybe have it with something else than diamonds?” 

    “Hm, a Bezel setting with three stones. I do have a couple of those in the back, I think. No diamonds?” 

    “Not only diamonds if possible. One or two are okay. Just for some contrast?”

She chuckled softly, already shuffling towards the door behind the counter. It only took a few minutes, then she came back with a handful of more rings, all of the same or similar making as the one he had liked. 

John allowed himself a little bit of excitement. 

    “So tell me about your man, then. He must be special.” 

    “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” John whispered, unable to suppress a smile. “He works as a radio host  and I love him so much.” 

The old lady patted his hand, then passed him another ring, one that was just a little different from the one before. 

    “How did you two meet?” 

    “A friend introduced us and basically played matchmaker. After a couple of months, he eventually asked me out and took me to a car show.” 

He remembered that day clearly. He had been pining for Roger for a while- thinking the man was way out of his league- but he had showed up at his house to fetch him for brunch with Freddie and Brian and nervously told him about the car show, asking him if he wanted to go there with him as a date. John had been ecstatic to say the least. 

It had been a wonderful date. They had walked between the displayed cars, their fingers brushing together until John had found the courage to tangle their fingers together, both of them blushing bright red but happy about it. Roger had dropped him off at his apartment with a chaste kiss and immediately asked for another date which John of course accepted. 

    “He sounds like a lovely young man. Do you already know how you will ask him?” 

John shook his head and took the next ring she offered him for inspection.

“No. Not yet. At home, probably.” 

The next ring was gold with two pale green stones and a blueish one in the middle and John immediately knew that this was the one. The woman must have noticed something about his expression changing because she made a satisfied sound and patted his arm again. 

    “This one then? A beautiful ring with moonstone and moissanite. I’m sure your boy will love it.” 

It did end up costing more than he had hoped for but it was the perfect ring and Roger was more than worth it. The whole way home, he couldn’t keep his fingers off the small velvet box. 

There were so many ways he could ask Roger. He knew Roger didn’t mind a public proposal- he liked being the center of attention- but it wasn’t what John wanted to do. 

He stopped at a supermarket to get some groceries that they still needed but barely even thought about what he was putting into his shopping cart, too distracted by thinking about the proposal. 

When he eventually made it home, he was packed with two big bags full of groceries which might or might not include some Jaffa Cakes and wine- he had got a big thing done today and he was proud of himself and willing to indulge himself- and spotted Roger’s shoes carelessly thrown onto the floor next to their full shoe shelf. 

    “I’m home!” he shouted as he kicked the shoes out of the way. 

There was some noise from further inside the apartment and then Roger appeared on the other end of the hallway. His hair was dishevelled and he was wearing one of John’s very short shorts and a shirt that just about reached the hem of the shorts along with some mismatched socks. 

    “Hey, baby. Need some help?” 

Roger pressed a quick kiss to his mouth in greeting before taking one of the bags and helped him putting their stuff away. John kissed him after they were done, resting one hand on his hip as he pulled him close. Roger laughed and wrapped his arms around his neck, willingly opening his mouth and letting himself pressed up against the kitchen counter. John wasn’t planning to have sex with him, though, and so he broke the kiss but stole another peck before stepping back. 

    “What have you’ve been up to today?” he asked. 

Roger kissed his cheek again, then dragged him towards their bedroom. There were clothes all over the floor, the bed and just generally every available surface. John stopped in the threshold, blinking in confusion while Roger stepped over a pile of clothes, spread his arms and gestured towards the chaos. 

    “I decided to go through my stuff and sort of some old stuff, get rid of things I don’t wear anymore and so on.” Roger bit his lips sheepishly. “But-” 

“You mostly just went through your clothes and got distracted by stuff and didn’t sort anything?” John offered and Roger laughed and nodded. 

    “I don’t think I want to throw anything away right now.” 

John picked up a dark green scarf, wrapped it around Roger’s neck and pulled him close to press a kiss to his nose which made him scrunch up his face and giggle. John laughed, too and let Roger put on a weird looking patterned hat on him. 

    “We can sort the stuff at least.” John suggested. “Get a little bit of order to your half of the closet.”

    “My half.” Roger mocked him, doing an impressive imitation of John’s accent while drawing quotation marks into the air. “More like my six-seventh of the closet.” 

John contemplated that statement for a moment- long enough for Roger to start laughing again- and hummed thoughtfully. 

    “I think I have at least three-seventh of the closet.”  

    “Three-seventh? Is this your professional opinion?” 

John nodded, then shrugged. 

    “In my professional opinion, yes. Three-seventh sounds about right. I can ask Brian for a second opinion, though. We’ll make a study out of it. It will keep us busy for a day or so.”

Roger got up to his tiptoes to kiss John once more- probably to shut him up- and he laughed against the blond’s mouth, bending down a little bit. The kiss was slow and lazy. 

    “And what did you do?” Roger asked when they pulled apart again. “Did you enjoy your day off?” 

There was a small, harmless lie on top of John’s tongue- window shopping for Brian’s and Freddie’s birthdays- but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. No time like the present, right? He could agonize for weeks or months for the perfect moment or he could just do it now. 

    “I got you something, actually.” 

    “Deaks!” Roger groaned, hitting his chest in mock-annoyance. “It’s your free day, you’re supposed to get stuff for yourself and not for me!” 

John smiled and let Roger roll his eyes at him, one hand slipping into his pocket and pulled the box out without letting him see it yet. 

    “Do you want to see it?” he asked. 

Roger still looked slightly exasperated but he nodded. His face went through several emotions- too fast for John to recognize them all- as soon as John got down on one knee and when he opened the box, he gasped audible. 

    “Rog-” 

    “You have to be shitting me!” Roger interrupted him. “Wait right there!”

He turned around, almost stumbling over a pair of pants as he rushed into their closet, leaving John kneeling in their bedroom and very confused. This wasn’t what he had imagined.

There was some noise as if Roger was moving stuff, then he came rushing back, triumphantly waving a small velvet box and John’s laughed, feeling tears rising in his eyes. 

Roger ended up kneeling in front of them, both of them laughing and close to crying and he opened his box with shaking fingers to reveal a slightly broader, matt silver band with a small, onyx stone. 

    “Go on.” Roger said and John chuckled.

    “Unbelievable.” He cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. “Roger, I won’t lie to you, I didn’t really plan this through. I only got the ring today and it took me so long to find one that’s good enough for you and all I want to say is: I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” 

Roger was nodding before he even finished talking, already holding out his hand for him to slip the ring on- which he did with shaking fingers. 

    “It’s beautiful.” Roger whispered, kissing John before straightening up again. “I have planned this out for weeks. I was going to wait for our anniversary and ask you after ordering take-out when we eat it on the sofa while watching something with either Winona Rider or Mark Ruffalo.” 

John laughed softly but Roger just pressed a finger against his lips and went on. 

    “But now we’re here and I had a whole speech prepared but I’ll save it for another time. I love you more than anything else in the world and I want to hear about how you’ll math out how much space I take up in our closet for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” 

John had stopped trying to hold his tears back, letting them run down his face freely. He managed to choke out a “Yes.” and let Roger put the ring on him. 

They kissed messily, both of them crying and laughing and toppled over, Roger crawling on top of John to kiss him senseless. 

    “I love you.” Roger whispered against his lips, cupping his face in both his hands and kissed his lips, cheeks, forehead and just about every part of his face he could reach. “I love you so fucking much.”

    “Love you, too.” 

[hoodie-bboi]

in honor of school starting, here are some things i either heard or said last year as a high school freshman. enjoy.

(List compiled by @teawarlord and i)

Freshman Year (2018-2019)

I’m just gonna stick my hands down my shirt.

Kai you’ve got a big dick. (Kai does not have a dick.)

I’m crying from the dick.

Stop fingering everything

Don’t judge the lizard man!

YOURE A PEEN BOY!

Can I borrow your uterus?

Don’t fist the applesauce

No I’m not gonna fist it I’m just gonna punch it

I didn’t choose the gay life the gay life chose me

Is your crotch ok?

My brain is soup

If they have a c*ck like a toddlers forearm…

I’m pregnant with water

I’m not having kids and you can’t make me!

There’s cum on my apple

i’m tearing off the cum

Oh shit the apple cummed on me

Who wants to talk about animal sex?

Daddyyyyy UWU

*to the tune of duck tails* TOE HANDS UWU

eggs. eggs everywhere.

If I see her walk through the door I’m jumping down. (30 ft drop)

When I see (my gf) I’m slapping her ass because I’m mad at her.

Fuck you time, you’re just a concept.

I love communism~

Panda bears are resoundingly NOT in to sex! -Science teacher

If they were any more inbred, they’d be a sandwich.

I don’t want to be shanked by your pop tart!

What if everyone had dicks for fingers?

*walking in to a room* I’m not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

Don’t ask questions you don’t know the answer to.

Do we do it in Español or Spanish?

“I wanna go to Maryland” “Why?” “Because fuck Maryland” “But why?” “It’s the land of merry” (or Mary, jesus’ mom, idk)

I don’t wanna eat my limp dick pop-tart :(

Don’t screw ghosts, that’s a sin ;)

Our phrase of the day is Multigenerational Butt Licking

“I didn’t eat today” “That’s bad…” “I know-“ “C O N S U M E”

“I don’t worship Satan because I am Satan” *whips poorly*

I finally found out what my cat has been staring at all these years…

No matter how sexy your music is, you can never lick it.

And not the egg??

You don’t stand when you suck dick, dumbass

I love squating when sucking dick. Just *squats* euaaah

Why are you fucking the sherbet with your spoon?

i stuck my finger in there and he starts doing that

I’d rather you stick your human-sized foot up my veen than my ass.

Soft vore your sandwich.

Can forks… mate?

*bursts into room* WHERES THE MEATLOAF??? *takes two pieces of wooden pretend-meatloaf and runs out*

Grunhilda’s in my pants :(

Where is my penis!?

*into headset* I’m gonna kill Gerald. He’s eating our beans. *Gerald runs out laughing like a little girl*

First he eats my beans, then he throws my table.

Oof. I got a big whiff of beans.

Take off those clout goggle bro, you got no clout.

Bruh :(

What do we call an animal that is active mostly act night?

Insecure (the correct answer is nocturnal)

A ball of fire flew out of her vagina

I got the beats, ya bitch

That damn bastard, peein on my carpet

Do you ever forget to breathe because you’re so tired? (Immediately) Yes.

(About Burt’s Bees) Who the fuck is Burt?

“12-8 is 4” (In a condescending tone) “12-8 is 5.”

Some people think ivory powder is viagra

Do you have any on you? I’m asking for a friend…

What’s a hussy?

Teacher: It’s a… very flirtatious female.

oH, so a hoe!

Teacher: I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

i don’t dislike students. but i dislike this student very much.…

“Are you depressed?” “Hella”

*carrying a shovel* Do you know of any graveyards nearby?

Bro what’s wrong with AIDS?

What if I slap my vagina?

I’m not gonna slap your vagina.

I am so close to becoming bisexual right now

I GOT CHEESE JUICE ON MY FINGERS

“I DONT LIKE THAT SOUND” “Let me suck the cheese juice off of it”

Did you steal my eyes?

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY KNEECAPS

Do humans eat sharks?

caMELS? Do camels eat sharks?

I’M GONNA DEEPTHROAT THIS KNIFE

nO

Have you guys ever felt how soft Kaia is?!

Bro I gotta find out if he’s gay or bi, because if he’s bi then I have a chance.

(from above the stairs) aw man don’t be slappin me like that

(from below the stairs) I’LL SLAP WHATEVER I WANT TO

(above) yo who the fuck said that

I don’t like turkey

i’ll eat it

It’s not turkey, it’s salami

!!???

you schlorped my cheese

twincest is NOT wincest apparently

STOP DRINKING YOUR RANCH WHAT THE FUCK

JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE? MORE LIKE HE’S SLITTING MY THROAT IN THIS COLD

(about kidney stones) Are those generic by the way? (instead of genetic)

Why are you eating your book?

LEAVE ME ALONE

So not to get political or anything but what the hell is oatmeal?

I love when I call daddy!

“I don’t want glass up my cooter!” “No, coffee.” “THATS EVEN WORSE”

I want to slap someone with my ovaries

Did you eat your last brain cell?

Don’t hurt my neck hole

I don’t care about your egg

Peanut fucker

The Ugly Fuckling

While you’re in this group, don’t get on the roof.

There’s a roof?

During this time, we stay under the building (referring to under the roof).

I will throw my skull at you

Don’t put your eggs in my stomach

the egg juiced

I don’t care what you do, just be quiet… don’t raise hell…

Don’t put your egg in my stomach

IT JUICED (about the egg)

YOU ATE YOUR APPLE SO PRETTY

I’m ten? (through laughter) I’m not legally allowed in my house

We are Dong

All is Dong, Dong is all

dong with a capital D

This monster Dong is a Dong and a half

They’re an abomination of the foot, Debra

I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up

Why are you eating in the dark on my bed?

I’m sure anyone can fuck a belly button if they have a fetish and a small enough dick

stop molesting her ear

so her tummy was open?

yeah, it was

so now she doesn’t have any bones?

w h a t ?

you need to learn to keep your blood

blood is for drinking, not living

i am bsexudkal

i have no king, im an anarchist

The Council Knows, Kaia. You Will Be Tried For Your Sins.

wake up

I made someone scream with my stick

HOLA I JUST CAME BACK FROM HAWAII

We’re gonna be talking about diseases

Fantastic! i LOVE talking about myself!

i thought i could turn the tables…. but the tables turned me!

on?

i’m turned on by tables

bullets are just gun jizz

GUINNEA BUISSEAU IS JUST GUN JIZZ

i have the bladder of a god

i’m sick, as compensation buy me new shoelaces

if you have a canker sore does that mean you have herpes?

duncan blew a thing

can you get better tea?

(offended) better tEETH?

i get my gender validation from a pokemon game

i bet you my room smells like egg… ass

finals week (and the week before)

please don’t talk about furries -my science teacher

the smiley face is frowning upon us

if you want to tp a tree, you tp it so well the best way to clean it up is to cut it down -also my science teacher

i think i have kidney stones up my nose

when someone tells you to hold your horses they’re telling you to be stable (in the middle of the final)

airport quotes (2018)

it’s like a velociraptor with a gun that shoots… sadness

my vibrator fell out of my bag

here's to a new year of learning and/or doing jack shit. sophomore edition coming next year. :)

[noxus-the-venomous-blog]

Part 1.02 Fix Them

“I recognize this neighborhood,” Tranquil remarked as she stared out the passenger window. She was tired and each passing light post contributed to her delirium.

“You should, you lived here at some point,” Noxious commented while glancing over at her. She saw his face briefly as a rushing streetlight spread a quick flicker of light into the enlarged van windows. She smiled, she doesn't get to see his face often anymore.

“I worked all day, what do you expect?”

“Don't remind me...” he said with a stale gaze in his eyes, pretending to be extra focused and unable to face her again while speaking. “I hate that you have to go do that.”

“It’s a paper pushing job, you’re talking like I’m selling my body for scratcher tickets.” She smiled and looked back to the street, small memories of the neighborhood starting to come back to her.

“No it's a good job I just hate that you have to work. Each day that you have to go work is a result of me not doing what I need to do. After The Conduit robbed that rickety bank him and his boyfriend went into the work full time. They were both making fun of me outside that shady pawn shop that makes my wrist launcher…”

“Awh what did they say?” Tranquill was balancing on the teetering point between compassion and a violent mother hen.

“His boyfriend said you’re made up and that my only girlfriend is a can of bug spray,” Noxious mumbled, glancing down at the shifter. His hand was resting on the top but covering it on the side with his thumb. His last car had a button there to engage shifting but this older van did not. He corrected it quickly, relaxing his grip in a shape more fitting to the round chrome ball then focused again on the road.

Tranquill huffed and waved a hand, “screw short circuit, that ratty little dork has no idea what he’s doing half the time. He has a power and can barely pull off an unguarded bank job.”

Noxious’ eyes darted between her and the road. “I just… Once I'm ready to pull in more cash grab jobs you can quit then we can work together on this. I’m getting closer there’s just a lot of testing and a big learning curve.” He readjusted in his seat “That’s why i brought you out here. Remember that uncle you’re always complaining about?”

“Yeah,” she said as her eyes glazed over slightly, she forgot to breathe for a moment, “yeah what about him?”

“That's who were going to see.”

“Why?” she asked sharply with a grit to her voice, “that guy’s an ass. He used to scare the hell outta me as a kid and we never really met a lot as adults.”

“Yeah well, why did he scare you?”

“Just his temper. He was always yelling at his wife and us kids and he always seemed like he was about to throw a punch. He’d back us into corners just screaming ‘till the tears kicked in.”

“Well sure but why do people do that? No one just becomes a raging lunatic overnight. Sometimes hatred and aggression is passed down through years of abuse. Did you know he used to hit his wife? I dug up some police reports,” Noxious stated proudly.

Her stomach sank. “I guess I always figured.”

“But what you didn't figure was his dad used to hit his mom. And him. His dad dislocated his arm yanking him off a bike in the seventies. You know how hard you have to hit a kid to get a police report filed in the seventies?” Noxious explained with more glee and pride in the investigation he had done, oblivious to how uncomfortable it was making Tranquill feel, “so he was raised in a violent household as the victim and now he victimizes others. I did some recon 6 months ago and caught him in the act of hitting the woman he’s staying with. I think his wife, anyways, were almost here.”

“What did you do…?” Tranquill asked, her voice cracking, knowing no good answer could come from that question.

“I fixed him.” he said as he pulled the car over into the sickeningly familiar driveway. He took a moment placing his hood and gasmask on, securing each strap slowly and then loosening it to attempt to secure it again at a better position. Tranquil watched in shock, wondering if all of this was a dream or some nightmare she had conjured out of catharsis. She stepped out of the car and made her way for the door, him catching up by the time she reached it. She wanted to turn around and leave this horrible place, this menacing feeling, but before she could run off he knocked on the door. There was a silent moment until he broke it unceremoniously. “Heh… Knock this. Noxious. Nox….ious…..knock….this…”

The door opened.

“Hello welcome to the…. Wait a moment”

The uncle spoke then paused. His eyes were clouded and unable to focus on Noxious or Tranquill. He lost himself deep in thought as he stared at her. “You look really familiar. Did you used to live in this neighborhood?”

“I… No. No i didn't...” she was lost in the moment of the false face and words he was giving. His voice was different, his tone different. Softer, more aloof, more distant… calmer? But also stupider.

“You look like Cindy,” the older man stated, incorrectly digging through his broken memory for a relatable name.

“Can we come in? It’s cold out here” Noxious said trying not to ugly smile despite his face being completely covered.

“Yeah no problem. Who did you say you were again?”

“We’re Cindy’s friends. She wanted us to see how you’re doing.” He walked past the man and drug tranquil by the hand into the man's house and towards the bedrooms.

“Cindy was a nice girl.” The uncle deadpanned and waited by the door for them.

Once they had arrived at the bedroom Noxious pulled open a few drawers then eagerly turned to Tranquill “Ok so the top left one here? Used to be filled with whiskey. Like always. The top right one is where he hid the bottles. Just like his dad, he found the fuel of his rage in alcoholism. Now look in there.”

She moved to the dresser and stared into the drawers. Nothing but stacks of papers.

“He has a full time job now. He’s been off the sauce for weeks and he hasn’t missed a single day. Come this way.” He dragged her onward through the small house and into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator “Look at that. All good foods and ingredients. Him and her have been cooking together.”

Her? Tranquill’s hair began to stand as she glanced over to the corner where she saw her aunt sitting. She was so still and so quiet she had gone unnoticed until now. The sight of her gave Tranquill a jump-scare. Noxious then grabbed the gallon of milk from the fridge and walked over to the aunt. Tranquill stared at him “What did you do?” she said softly “What is wrong with her?”

“Besides kidney stones? Nothing. Nothing now anyway. Before i intervened she was struggling with depression and trauma.” He kneeled down and placed a hand on the aunt’s shoulder. “How are you feeling today Barbra?” Her name was not in fact Barbra.

“It’s Terry sweetie, we've been over this. I'm doing ok i was just sitting here thinking about my childhood.”

“Are you happy Terry? How have you been feeling today?” Noxious said holding the older woman’s hand

“I feel wonderful. Summer is around the corner and i'm going to plant sunflowers. I used to love sunflowers so much as a child...” she prattled on.

The uncle had joined the room and thus the conversation “They’re friends of Cindy the old neighbor girl. They’ve come here to see how we’re doing. “

Terry raised an eyebrow. “No silly Cindy wasn't the neighbor girl she was your brothers’ child. Remember they would stay with us in the summertime”

Tranquill’s curiosity and fear walked hand and hand as she watched them fumble with thoughts and half truths. The name was wrong but the rest was starting to add up.

“Well we best be going. Want us to send Cindy your love?”

The uncles eyes became sad. “I wonder if she ever forgave me.”

“What?” Tranquill blurted, not intending for it to be out loud.

The uncle continued, “I don't think she ever forgave me. She lived at the neighbor’s house with this mean old sun of a bitch. The guy used to drink heavily and just scream all the time. She would sit outside with the sunflowers and pick their petals off one by one. She didn't think i saw her. She was always crying and i never did anything about it. I watched this mean old brute just brow beat her with cruel words day and night and i never did a damn thing. All i did was watch as it got worse and worse. She knew it was my fault too. I never meant to yell and never meant to hurt anyway i just didn't know how to treat people. Every day my life would get worse and all i did was keep digging my pit deeper and deeper so i could drag everyone down with me.”

“No use dwelling on it honey,” his wife said as she placed his hand on hers, “it's in the past now.”

“You’re right. What was i talking about?”

“Cindy”, noxious chimed in.

“Oh yeah. I just hope she knows i cared. I remember she was the girl across the street but she lived with this mean old man who always yelled at her… Hey ya know you look just like her. Doesn't she terry? I've never seen her without tears in her eyes but i'll be damned if you don't have her nose,” he looped on.

“We really do have to go now. Remember to live well,” noxious said as he guided tranquill out of the home and back into the van, “So… What do you think?”

She immediately began to cry. A flood of emotions and memories caused her nose to clog, her eyes to water and her shoulders to rattle slightly. She then took his hand and removed the glove to hold her skin against his “Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what you did but thank you.”

“I fixed them. Just a few small doses over a long period of time. Best part is i haven't dosed them in 2 weeks and they’re still making more and more progress. I think they just understand how to be happy now.”

“I just… His memory was so shot but… He seemed so happy. I've never seen him happy before, i've never seen my aunt smile i've never felt good in their house until now.”

Noxious smiled wide as he slowly took the mask off and pulled out of the driveway

She continued, “will there memories come back? They seemed so loopy.”

“Not sure if that’s a side effect or result of age. I need more testing.”

Her eyes widened. “Yes. I know others. We have to fix them all” she placed his hand on his atop the shifter. “Let's fix the world.”

                                       super secret ending

the conduit stepped out of the the small car and approached the super market. he was interrupted by the loud harsh voice of tranquil from across the parking structure . she held up a bat “HEY SHORT CIRCUT YOU FAT F*** GET OVER HERE!!!”

[shae-la-hyene]

That pisses me off so much !! Couldn’t we have ugly actors for once ? I mean… those are villains and there are plenty of unemployed ugly actors. Emma Stone doesn’t need work ! There was a time when actors looked like everyone else, and were only chosen from their acting talent. With diversity because there is diversity in the real world, in the real life.  “Maybe Emma wanted the role? And there are always facial prosthetics that can make anyone look ugly!”

Yes, as I’m sure a few thousand people were ready to give up their kidney for the chance of playing the villain in a disney superproduction ! Prosthetics would be like tanning a white person to make them look colored. This is bullshit !

“But Cruella was never explicitly stated/described to be “ugly”. Her features are actually just an extreme caricature of an older fashion model from that era. Now, if we had the description like the one that was given for that toad lady from Harry Potter to work off, then sure, ugly actor/actress ahoy. But Cruella was never really “ugly”. Maybe if they made a live action remake of The Sword in the Stone. That had Madame Mim, who was ugly most of the time(she does have a “pretty” form. But magic).”

Honestly I don’t know about written description but the drawing is not of a 30 years old pretty girl, it’s of a woman past her fifties who abused of makeup and cigarette and ruined her skin, and spend her whole life starving herself as an extreme fashionista. I’m pretty sure there are thousands of good actresses who would fit better. But NOOOO they’re not young, they’re not pretty, they’re not good enough for hollywood. As for Madame Mim, I’m pretty sure (if they ever do a live action, which I doubt) they’d take a pretty actress, make her play normal for the 5 on screen seconds of pretty!Mim and heavily apply make up and prosthetics for the rest of the movie.

“She was never meant to be pictured as ugly. Actually, a lot of villains weren’t. The Evil Queen was written as beautiful, Maleficent was never drawn ugly, Scar was just had darker hair. Cinderella’s sisters WERE supposed to be ugly and ARE still portrayed as ugly.”

Maleficient was also portrayed as green-skinned but I guess razor sharp cheekbones looked better on screen. There was a time when actors where chosen to look like normal people, not only in the pretty elite with the excuse “they’re not described a not-top models so we can still select only the most beautiful to give everyone more perfection complex” And Scar is Scar because he has a Scar. If they made a movie and forget the scar I’ll be mad.

Seriously, when was the last time we saw not-traditionally-pretty actors and actresses in big productions ? When was the last time we saw a realistic and ugly character in like… Marvel ?  Not only do we have to fight for having colored people against having caucasian ones spray-tanned, but we also have to fight like hell to have normal-looking people !

Remember when cinema was about people that look like everyone else, but were good at acting like they were a character ? That was a long time ago.