#bildad the DAD

[theeldermillennial]

THIS ENTIRE INTERACTION IS SO PURE

"I'm like you now....a Demon!"

("You precious, precious little cherub...")

*heart shattered*

(can't even) "Sorry! Sorry!" XD

(so innocent)

"You really think you're a demon?"

(complete toddler meltdown) "I'm a Fallen Angel!"

("Ohh, he actually believes he's going to Hell. Alright...let's de-escalate things a bit.")

"I LIED...to thwart the Will of God!" (this poor lamb)

"Well yeah, you did but...I'm not going to tell anyone. Are you?"

(You sweet, precious, dear, little cinnamon roll . It's going to be okay. Bildad the Shuhite is guarding over you.)

"Well....then nothing has to change!"

[sarosthewizarddude]

Crowley is such a dad he adopts every kid he finds

Oh you're the antichrist? Adopted.

Oh we had the wrong one? You're the right one? I'm adopting you too then. Yeah, I tried to kill you five minutes ago but you know how it is. Big misunderstanding.

You made a pot? Lovely. Adopted.

You're digging up bodies? Doing Wicked? Wonderful. Adopted. I will risk my existence to keep you alive.

Oh, so you're technically an immortal angel, but you act like a kid? Close enough, adopted.

[princeloww]

I love this picture

[jayjamjary]

I love him. He's billing my dad until I Shuhite.

I hand painted the letters and then used transfer paper to put the slightly edited image on the shirt.

[bil-daddy]

HEY BILDADDD I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED MY OLD ACCOUNT, I'M INEFFABLEGAYS13 😭

Hi @ineffablegays13 @dinocam13, I'm @bil-daddy

[onioneyez]

Sometimes Insta lets me translate comments

Idk what to do with this knowledge

[bugskid]

i was watching good omens with my dad and he informed me that bildad the shuhite is in fact a real guy from the bible having catholic parents is great man

[leg0joker]

Bill nye the science guy but instead bildad the shuhite

Like instead of bill nye the science guy

Bil-dad the shu-hite

[inneffable-dumbasses]

I finally convinced my parents to watch good omens, and they actually like it! I get irrationality happy whenever my dad laughs at Michaels adorable little expressions❤️

Except, in order to not “ ruin the experience” I’ve been banned from squealing, crying, saying the lines word for word, explaining that one post on tumblr I saw last month about this scene and singing.

It’s been a STRUGGLE

Like how am I not meant to get excited when bildad the Shuite comes on the screen????

Honestly no idea how I’m going to cope with s2e6

[the-metatron]

hiii! this is @tujhse-raabta, your grandson broke up with me

now listen. i might be your ex's daughter, but I wanna mend bridges between the families. i firmly believe that you deserve everything! and while everything might include dad's torture, it also includes my love!

hence, could you, mayhaps, adopt me as your grandchild? as a sign of good faith I'll drink all the coffee and cookies you give me, help you out with pret-a-metatron, set you up with anyone you're interested in, and loads more!

please 💕 I'll be a good granddaughter to have I promise 💕💕 I've already defended you to my siblings (especially the one you have children with - they seem to be under the impression you stole their kids but i know you just won the battle!)

so! consider my request!

Of course.

@bildads-rib-shack, @aceisdoingthings on what dates did I adopt the two of you? I will prepare those forms for my records.

@kleenexwoman perhaps I should prepare one for you as well, even though you are biologically my half-daughter, to solidify our familial bond, as half-children are not typically recognized by the government and other institutions.

[greenthena]

Unreliable Narrators

If you've watched Good Omens, there's a reasonably good chance you've got several conspiracy boards tucked somewhere in your brainspace. And what's great about a show like Good Omens is that we've been encouraged by the creators to poke our noses in deep and examine our theories. Even the show itself subtly tells us, "things are not what they seem." For evidence, might I call upon the book, The Crow Road, which appears several times throughout Season 2--notably when Jimbriel is alphabetizing books in his own special way and again when Muriel shows the Metabitch what they're reading. The Crow Road is a very specific *CLUE* because the book is written non-linearly and the reader must piece the story together. Sound familiar? You betcha.

Now I know a lot of us, myself included, are pretty invested in the time layers/time skips that may explain some of the incongruities of Season 2. (Crowley, I spent 90 minutes cataloging your ding dang sideburn length, sunglass style, shirt selection, and sigil placement. Short or long, dude! Sideburns don't grow down your face in the time it takes to walk outside.) But right now, I'm much more focused on the theory of the unreliable narrator.

So let's begin not at the Beginning, but in a graveyard in Edinburgh. Spooky. (I like spooky.) Let's talk about the uncanny Gabriel statue.

Crowley and Aziraphale are surprised by its accuracy.  It's surprising enough that Crowley actually invites Aziraphale to come up to Edinburgh to see something that might amuse him.  This suggests that MOST depictions of Gabriel that they've seen are not accurate.  The essence of Gabriel is rarely manifest in the art created about him. What does this say about sculptors?  Artists?  About writers?  About people who set out to tell a story and show a truth?  That they're unreliable at best, only being able to show the version of events or subjects that they've seen, and furthermore only able to demonstrate these events or subjects to the best of their ability. 

In other words, all art is unreliable narration.

Let's take a detour to another flashback to an earlier time. 2500 BC to be precise. We find ourselves in a memory of the story of Job, and in the recollection we meet a luxuriously goateed Crowley with a mane of flowing auburn hair. But this set of memories gets really screwy upon closer inspection, when you realize that Crowley's hair is markedly different at different points in the flashback. There are two distinct hairstyles, and it's up to us to figure out why!

Now, there's only one scene in which only one of our dynamic duo appears, the scene in which Sitis identifies Crowley as Bildad the Shuhite. In this scene, which we have to assume is from Crowley's memory, Crowley's hair is shoulder length and wavy. Going forward, this hairstyle will denote Crowley's perspective, and it is the hair style that Crow-dad (Crow-daddy? Grazie, lo detesto) wears for the majority of the Job flashbacks. So despite the fact that we enter these flashbacks through Aziraphale's musings in the bookshop, I have to argue that they're mostly from Crowley's perspective. However, when we get the giant camera shift from the Crow-dad/Sitis scene to the scenes that take place with Job's children, we also get a new hairstyle for Crowley. In this block of memories, Crowley's hair becomes significantly longer and also distinctly curly.

This is a different set of memories, and I think we have to assume that we're now seeing these memories from Aziraphale's perspective. This makes sense, because these memories are dealing with Aziraphale discovering more about who Crowley is (a demon who would disguise goats as crows to save them from God's gamble) and about who he (Aziraphale) is going to become (an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can.)

What this all tells us is that the narrative will be different depending on who is relating it. Crowley remembers his hair looking one way, Aziraphale remembers it looking another. We're all pretty unreliable narrators, since we can only express what we have seen or experienced from our own limited perspective and to the best of our ability. Everything we experience is filtered through the lens of our understanding. Even something as objective as an un-retouched photo frames the "truth" as the photographer sees it.

So for me, rather than seeing the indulgent use of clocks as a motif for dysregulated time, I'm choosing (for like this week, at least) to see time as a guardian. The use of clocks does more than demonstrate inconsistencies in time, it also gives us an objective framework from which to hang our unreliable narrations. Because Crowley's sideburns can't grow that quickly! But if we untangle time to reveal a linear flow, I think we'll see that it's the perspective or the narration that's shifted rather than the timestamp. I think that when all is revealed, it will be clear that our belief about what is true can be in direct opposition to another person's equally unreliable narration. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[certifiablyinsanez]

Controversial take but in our household Bildad Crowley>>>70’s Crowley for the simple fact that both our dads looked EXACTLY like that in the 70’s and that’s not a mental association we can handle. 😭😅🥲

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

My dads telling me the story of Job and all I'm thinking of is Bildad the Shuite.

[queer-reader-07]

earring tour!!

this is mostly for @bildads-shoes but hopefully other people enjoy this self-indulgent sharing of my earring collection. i hope this lives up to your expectations loz <333 (this was a nice break from my english homework)

(it is going under the cut because i have so many and i don't want to clog y'all's dashes)

left to right: 1) my aunt bought these for me from a jewelry store in my moms hometown in Brasil 2) i bought these at the thrift store, i do have to take out my second lobe piercing to wear them though 3) my friend bought these for me at the state fair, i love them but they are SO heavy

left to right: 1) i got these at a small, local farmer's market! they're some of my most worn earrings 2) i bought these at a vintage store in downtown Seattle, but they're from a local artist 3) these ones i got at the state fair when i went with one of my friends :)

left to right: 1) bought these from a woman on a sidewalk in Ireland (i don't remember which city, it was one of the Kil-something's) 2) my mom's best friend bought these for me, i don't know where from other than they're from Brasil 3) same as the blue ones, bought on a sidewalk in Ireland lol 4) same as the pink & blue clouds, i got them from the same vendor at the market!

left to right: 1 & 2) bought both of these the last time i visited Pike Place Market in Seattle 3) i got these ones when i spent a day in Mostar, Bosnia last summer 4) my mom bought these for me at local jewelry store last fall when she was in Brasil visiting family

left to right: 1) i believe i got these at a consignment store 2) i bought these from an independent, local artist! 3) my friend bought these for me when she went to NYC last spring 4) i bought these at the farmer's market as well

left to right: 1) my friend got these octopus earrings for me at a local pop up market 2 & 3) are both from when i went to the state fair with my friend

left to right: 1) i bought these at a street market in Dubrovnik, Croatia last summer 2) these ones are also from when i was in Bosnia 3) i bought these on the side of the road in rural Ireland from a woman who had a very cute dog with her 4) my aunt & uncle got me these for my birthday two years ago

left to right: 1) from my aunt in Brasil 2 & 3) also from my aunt and uncle two years ago at my birthday 4) you can't see it super well but these ones are mini copies of Dune by Frank Herbert which is my all time favorite novel, and my dad got these for me

these are a collection of studs from my parents, aunts and uncles, and one from my friend. i don't where them all that much because i'm a dangly earring guy at heart but i love them nonetheless

[bil-daddy]

Look at my Christmas gift from my parents.

Also one time my mom showed me and my dad a video of David Tennant (who ever that is) a day the end they showed a picture of you. I started stimming and then proceeded to info dump about you ti my father who didn’t care.

Can’t believe he didn’t want to hear about our favorite midwife/cobbler

I think we can still win your dad over. After all, he and your mum got you an I Heart Bildad the Shuhite pin. That's already halfway there. Give him this ox rib (platonic) from me, and he'll be a stan before you can say "Then this is your lucky day!"

[birlwrites]

more crowley thoughts!!!

(also, muriel is a child of divorce now and crowley is a single dad 😔)

CROWLEY IS LIKE. I'M A DEMON I'M NOT NICE I CAN'T GO AROUND RETURNING PEOPLE'S LOST PROPERTY

AND THEN HE HAS HOUSEPLANTS. AND HE HITS ANATHEMA WITH HIS CAR AND IS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT FIXING THE CAR. AND THE CAR GETS DESTROYED ANYWAY BECAUSE HE HAS TO GO TO AZIRAPHALE AND HIS SUNGLASSES BREAK IN THE BOOKSHOP AND HE BACKED ADAM UP WITH A TIRE IRON. HE TAKES A BOOK FROM THE SHOP AS A SOUVENIR/MEMENTO AND BRINGS IT WITH HIM TO THE BAR AND I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW HE WALKS

AND!!! HIS GO-TO SOLUTION WITH A REALLY HEAD-ON PROBLEM IS FAST TALKING AND TRICKERY (HASTUR, DUKE OF HELL, YOU WILL LEAD THE LEGIONS OF THE DAMNED/WHATEVER THAT RULE WAS HE MADE UP ABOUT CIVILIANS, THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS, I LOVED THAT SO MUCH) AND HE *IS* VERY SNAKEY AND LIKE. SLITHERING OUT OF THINGS OR COMING AT THEM FROM A DIFFERENT DIRECTION LIKE WITH JOB'S GOATS ETC

AND HE LOVES HIS CAR SO MUCH AND HE WANTS TO RUN AWAY WITH AZIRAPHALE AND I CAN'T GET THE LINE 'SHOEMAKING AND OBSTETRICS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TWIN PASSIONS OF BILDAD THE SHUITE' OUT OF MY HEAD AND THE WAY HE SITS DOWN ON THE ARMREST OF AZIRAPHALE'S CHAIR TO TALK TO MURIEL MAKES ME INSANE

HE THROWS STACKS OF BOOKS ON THE FLOOR BUT HE DOESN'T SELL ANY OF THEM. HE CONFRONTS GABRIEL OVER AND OVER BECAUSE *HE'S* PISSED ON AZIRAPHALE'S BEHALF EVEN IF AZIRAPHALE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE. HE HELPS AZIRAPHALE WITH HIS MAGIC ACT AND ENCOURAGES HIM TO GO INTO THE SHOP FOR PROFESSIONAL MAGICIANS. HE KNOWS THE BOOKS IN THE BOOKSHOP WELL ENOUGH TO TELL WHEN ADAM ADDS NEW ONES. HE FIXES THINGS (AZIRAPHALE'S COAT, THE CAR) BY BLOWING ON THEM FOR SOME REASON. HE DRIVES THROUGH THE M25 WHILE IT'S ON FIRE LISTENING TO I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR AND LITERALLY MAKES IT THROUGH WITH THE POWER OF IMAGINATION. WHEN AZIRAPHALE PRETENDS TO BE HIM HE ACTS SO COOL AND COMPOSED BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HE SEES HIM. HE CALLS AZIRAPHALE 'ANGEL' *RELENTLESSLY.* HE WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE NEBULA. AND HE REALLY GENUINELY TRIED AT THE END OF SEASON 2 IT K I L L S ME I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND HOW HE MUST HAVE BEEN PLANNING IT OUT BEFORE AZIRAPHALE THREW THIS ABSOLUTE CURVEBALL

LIKE!!!!

CAN I GET A WAHOO