#bitch to her anyways for several other reasons such as. he doesn't care about her like caleb does he was essentially sent on a welfare

[wizardnuke]

yalls tags on the caleb astrid post are all SO spot on thank you for understanding the uh. canon that was given to us. not saying that anyone doesnt. but i am.

[absurdthirst]

Dieter's Daughter {Dieter Bravo x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 13.7k

Warnings: Dad!Dieter, mentions of drug use, unplanned pregnancies, freaking out, mentions of foster care, anxiety, lactation kink, babies, domestic bliss, falling in love, sudden marriage proposals, Dieter being a sap, adult breast feeding, oral sex (female receiving), face riding, vaginal sex, pregnancy

Comments: When a baby is dropped off on Dieter's doorstep, he is completely out of his element and doesn't know what to do. Attending a single mother support group meeting, he finds you. Begging you to become a nanny to his daughter.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Dieter Bravo MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

It takes several minutes for the sounds of the doorbell peeling insistently to break through Dieter’s nearly catatonic state. Too much booze and too many pills are the result of another day of discontent and wishing that there was something other than numbness of life for him. Leaving him grumbling when one eye pops open and he groans when the cotton mouth and headache hits him. “Go away.” He huffs, knowing that there is no way that whoever is at the damn door would hear him all the way in his bedroom. Hell, the only reason he hears the doorbell is because it’s wired to the sound system in the house. Again the bell rings and like the dead rising from the grave, Dieter drags himself out of the safety and comfort of his bed. “Fuck! I’m coming! I’m coming!” The bathrobe he had tossed down last night is put over his boxers and he shuffles towards the stairs as fast as his lethargic body can go.

When Dieter opens the door, he’s shocked to see a woman standing there holding a baby. “Can I help you?” He asks, rubbing his eyes, and she snorts.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” She asks and Dieter squints, “am I supposed to?” 

She laughs humorlessly, “I shouldn’t be surprised, you could barely remember my name that night. I was just amazed that a big actor wanted to fuck me. Remember me? That cocktail waitress from the club you took home about ten months ago?” She says and Dieter scratches his neck. 

“Listen lady, I sleep with a lot of people. It’s hard to remember them all.” He admits with zero qualms. 

“Wow. You’re a fucking asshole. Anyway, I guess the condom broke because congrats, you’re a daddy. It’s a girl. Her name is Rosie. Her birth certificate is in the bag.” She holds the baby out towards him and his eyes widen, looking down at the baby bag in the ground.

”What? I- what the fuck?” He looks bewildered before he starts to laugh. “Good one. Real funny. What do you want? Money?” He scoffs and she shakes her head, tears in her eyes. 

“No. No. I need you to take her. I can’t afford her and I- I didn’t want her. When I found out - I was fucking eight months pregnant so it was too late to get rid of her and I can’t work so I can’t pay for my place. I can’t keep her. You gotta take her. She will be better off with you.” She says and pushes the baby into Dieter’s arms. 

He scrambles to hold the baby, not wanting to drop her and the woman immediately sprints off towards her car. “Hey! Wait! You can’t just- I don’t know how to look after a baby! I need you to - hey. Where the fuck- get back here!” He yells as she squeals off of his driveway and he curses himself for not fixing the gate yet. “Shit.” He hisses. He didn’t even get her name. Looking down at the baby, he sighs and knows he has to find her mom. He can’t be a daddy. He can barely look after himself. 

No, first thing is a damn DNA test and then he’s gonna find that bitch and give her back her baby. He’s gotta call the police after he cleans up his counters from the coke powder. “Fuckkkkk.” He groans, knowing his quiet day just got a whole lot busier.

****

“If we take her, Mr. Bravo, she’s just going to go into a state home. An orphanage.” Dieter frowns and wraps his arms around his chest, nervous for having the fucking cops in his house. Paranoid they were going to find the baggie of Coke he just remembered was in the little box next to his car keys. “You are listed on the birth certificate.” 

Snatching the paper from the officer he squints at it. “How the fuck is that legal?” He demands. “That means anyone could put me down as the father of their kid.” 

The officer shuffles, clearly uncomfortable and slightly in awe of being in the actor’s presence. “That’s for the courts to decide. Look,” he lowers his voice and looks around. “I don’t think you understand how bad the system is for babies.” He tells Dieter seriously. “Just- keep the baby with you, at least until the DNA tests come back. That way you don’t have to fight to get her back when she is yours. You already said you might have slept with this woman. Stranger things have happened.” 

Dieter huffs, upset by the idea of the tiny little human being in an orphanage. Even if she doesn’t look anything like him. He had found diapers and a can of formula in the bag that the mother had left with him but that’s it. He has nothing to take care of a child. “What am I supposed to do? I don’t know shit about kids.” He demands, making the officer chuckle. 

“Hire a nanny.” The officer suggests, smirking. “Isn’t that what you Hollywood types do?”

Dieter knows he can’t just ship the kid off. She’s so tiny and vulnerable. He can’t do it, even he’s not that big of an asshole. He will call his assistant to get a nanny in today. “Listen, do you, uh, know how much formula to use?” He asks the cop who nods and walks over to the counter to show Dieter. 

“One scoop for every two ounces of water. Get baby water but bottled will have to work for today. So four ounces, two scoops. And shake. After she is finished, shift her to your shoulder and gently pat her back to get her to burp.” He says and Dieter nods. 

“How much does she need?” Dieter asks and the cop chuckles, “she’s gonna be hungry a lot. I remember mine at that age. Endless bottles. Be sure to wash them thoroughly.” He says and pats Dieter on the shoulder and makes his way towards the front door of the Sherman Oaks mansion.

“Fuck.” Dieter groans, rubbing his cheek when the police leave and the baby starts to cry. He knows she must be hungry so he fumbles to open the container, grabbing the bottle to fill it with bottled water and putting two scoops in. “I’m coming.” He says, struggling to do the bottle up, and he curses again as he walks over to carefully scoop the baby up. “How do I-?” He struggles to get her to suck on the bottle and sighs in relief when she stops wailing and gulps down the milk.

Dieter holds the baby awkwardly, trying to remember how from that role a few years ago. The baby had been a prop doll, but they had shown him how to hold it. “Your name’s Rosie, huh?” He asks, looking down at the infant. According to the birth certificate, she’s only two months old. “I’m Dieter, but you don’t talk so why am I telling you that?” He huffs, but the baby gurgles around the nipple of the bottle and it makes him grin. “Did you like that?” He asks, lifting a brow. Apparently he’s a natural with kids. 

The baby grunts and the grin immediately slides into a frown. “What’s that?” He asks, feeling something moving. “What are you doing?” Instead of sucking down the milk, the baby is grunting and straining and Dieter stares in horror as the smell starts to reach his nose. “Oh shit! You shit!” He groans in disgust.

The baby starts to cry, unhappy with a full diaper, and Dieter is reaching for his phone. 

“Hello?” His assistant answers and Dieter is panicking. 

“I need you here right now. I need help.” 

Johan, his assistant, frowns, “is that- is that a baby?” He asks and Dieter groans, “get here now. And call a nanny service!” He demands and hangs up. “What do I do?” He asks the baby, shifting to lay her down on a towel so she doesn’t get shit on his expensive rug. “I- shit. You - fuck. That’s disgusting.” He groans and pulls his phone out. “YouTube! I’ll try YouTube.” He looks up ‘how to change a diaper’ and grabs the baby bag.

Dieter watches the video, studying it intently as he keeps a hand on the baby’s stomach. “Looks easy.” He frowns at the squirming baby. “But the doll wasn’t moving.” He sets the phone down beside the bag so he can see it and bites his lip as he tries to figure out the snaps on the onesie she’s in. “Holy shit.” He huffs, amazed at how easy it unsnaps. “I need this in a fucking adult version.” Wrinkling his nose when the smell gets even worse, he groans. “Wheeeeew, God you stink.” He nearly gags and pulls his shirt up over his nose. “What did you eat?”

Trying to plug his nose, he follows the YouTube video, wiping the poop off of her skin after rolling up the dirty diaper and putting it in the diaper bag. Anyone watching would think Dieter is dealing with a bomb. He gags when he pushes the wipes into the bag after cleaning her up and he grabs the rash cream, placing some on her bottom where the video details he should. He curses the new diaper, trying to figure out what way is the front until he sees it says “back” on it and he pulls it tight on her tiny body before he clips her onesies back into place. “Shit. That - that wasn’t too bad.” He murmurs, breathing in the fresh air and she hiccups, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“You’re kind of cute.” Dieter murmurs. “In a weird, ‘you don’t look like me’ kind of way.” He frowns when she grins at him, kicking her feet. “You’re weird.” He huffs, but she just waves her arms at him and squeals. Is she his? After all this time, did he finally fuck up and procreate? His mind spins and he wishes he remembers what the woman looks like better than he does but it had been early (for him) and he had just woken up. “We will have to find you someone who knows what they are doing kiddo.”

**** 

“What did you do?” Johan accuses Dieter who shakes his head, holding the baby in his arms and he looks at her, unable to deny that she looks a little like Dieter. 

“I don’t know man. Some woman, I- Jesus. She said I fucked her and don’t even remember her. I’m waiting for the nurse to come for the DNA test.” Dieter confesses, knowing he has to be sure before he does anything.

“Oh my God, Dieter.” She rolls her eyes and immediately steps closer to the baby, unable to resist seeing her up close. “This is why you said you needed a nanny?” 

Dieter nods and rocks his body as the baby’s eyes start to drift closed. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” He huff, looking around the house that is definitely not baby proof. “I don’t have anything. I need-” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what the fuck I need. More diapers? That formula?” He nods towards the diaper bag. “She didn’t leave me shit for this baby.” He growls, pissed off at the poor planning of that woman. Who just abandons their baby with someone they didn’t know? 

“Let me make a list and we can get what we need for her.” Johan says, knowing Dieter will not know anything that he will need. 

“I need help. And stuff. Like now.” Dieter says, feeling the need to use but he can’t since he’s responsible for a fucking baby now.

Johan nods and bites his lip. “I’ve got a call into a nanny service. They are going to send someone over today.” He knows Dieter will be relieved. “Maybe she can help us with what we need.”

“Let’s get her. I need help. I- shit. I don’t even have a crib or anything. I need you to go out. Take my card and get all the baby shit from the best store there is in town.” He orders, wanting the baby to have the best even if she isn’t his. She’s cute and she deserves a good start in this world. “I need - shit - I have no idea what I’m doing. Please help me.” Dieter begs, the baby falling asleep against his chest and he looks down at her, her lips pouting as she sucks on the pacifier he found in the bag.

Johan grimaces and nods, aware that he has even less experience with babies than Dieter does. “I’ll be back.” The other man promises, quickly making his way towards the door and out of the house. He had no clue what the hell to do for his boss, he’s gotten himself in a mess this time. As much as he wants to claim he doesn’t know that baby is his, it is. Dieter Bravo is a father.

****

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve always been such a fan of your work.” The woman gushes. Dieter can barely remember her name. Violet, Vivian, or something like that. She seems nice enough and her qualifications from the service are good. He doesn’t really know what he’s looking for in a nanny except he desperately needs help. He’s waiting on the DNA results to come in but the little baby is cute and she listens to him rambling without complaints.

Viola looks around the house and wonders how the hell Dieter Bravo became an overnight father. “You must attend parenting classes.” She insists after Dieter finally runs out of steam and shuts up. “There is one I can sign you up for. It’s for new parents and you qualify.” She chuckles, shaking her head. “They have a meeting in two days, I can see about getting you halfway set up.

“What? No. I don’t need a parenting group.” Dieter scoffs and Viola raises her eyebrows. 

“Respectful sir, I think you do.” She offers him a wry smile when the baby starts to cry in his arms. 

“I’m hopeless, aren’t I?” He sighs, trying to rock Rosie and he is struggling to calm her. 

“Here. Can I-?” Viola asks and Dieter practically shoves the baby into her arms. 

“You’re hired.” He declares when Rosie calms down and the crying stops. He can’t do this alone.

“Mr. Bravo,” Viola frowns and shakes her head. “I’m sorry if you misunderstood. I am here temporarily.” She explains. “I have already signed a contract with another family. I came today because it was an emergency.” She wonders if he had heard anything she had said when she arrived, he had looked frazzled but she thought she had been clear. 

“What? No! You seem like such a nice lady and Rosie likes you. Please. I’ll pay more. I’ll do anything to get you to stay.” He pleads, “name your price. I’ll fucking pay it. Please!” He pouts, eyes wide and pleading. 

Viola shakes her head, “I’m so sorry. I can’t get out of the contract. I’ll help you as much as I can. Johan said you need help learning the basics so I’ll show you the basics and take care of Rosie while I can but you’re going to have to learn what to do.” She says, knowing it’s going to be tough.

“I can’t do this.” Dieter wails, knowing life as he knows it is over. Without someone here, he going to fuck it up. “Please, please, you have to stay.” He begs, making Viola shake her head. 

“I am here for one week, Mr. Bravo. Then it will be up to you to find someone to help you care for Rosie. Now, let me show you how to bathe your daughter.”

****

“She’s yours.” Dieter exhales shakily as Johan announces the DNA results. 

“Shit. I- I have a daughter.” He shakes his head and looks over at Rosie who is asleep in her bassinet. “What am I gonna do?” Dieter asks as reality sets in. He has a child that he’s responsible for and Viola is only here for two more days. “She’s - she’s so tiny and I’m gonna fuck it up. She’s gonna get fucked up because of me.” He starts to panic now that reality has hit.

“You are going to go to the parenting class tonight and we are going to continue to look for a nanny.” Johan tells Dieter practically. He’s been surprised that Dieter hasn’t done as many drugs as he normally does, even smoking weed outside because of the baby. “So far all the services I’ve called don’t have anyone available until next year.” He shakes his head. “Apparently it was baby season this year.”

Dieter groans, covering his face with his hands and dragging them down his cheeks. “I have pre-production for the movie coming up in a few weeks. I can’t take her with me to a table read.” He whines and Rosie shifts in her sleep, making Dieter’s heart melt when the movement catches his attention and he looks over. “Fine. I’ll go to the parenting class. Maybe…maybe someone can help me find a nanny there.” He says, determined to find help. 

****

Dieter walks into the church hall, surprised he hasn’t burst into flames. He hasn’t been to church since he was a kid. His mama used to drag him on a Sunday and when he became famous at ten years old, he managed to bail on church because he was working. He sits down in a seat, noticing how all the other attendees are women. Rosie is asleep in her carrier for now and he has the diaper bag at his feet. “Welcome ladies and - oh. Hi, we have a new member.” An older woman smiles at Dieter, “welcome to the single mom support group.”

“Oh, uh, I thought it was-“ Dieter falters for a moment, panicking about being kicked out of the group. “I thought this was a single parent support group.” He explains, shuffling. “I just- uh, the mother of the child- my child- I just got the DNA test back, dropped her off on my door with no warning.” He rambles, trying to explain why he needs to stay. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” He confesses, nearly sounding defeated.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You can stay.” A few of the moms recognize Dieter and he looks exhausted. Rosie had kept him up half of the night since Viola has been weaning him off of her help, and he glances around. 

“I’m sorry to - shit. I can go.” He says and you are sitting next to him. 

“No, stay. It’s okay. We are all here to help each other.” Your own son, three months old, is whining and you sigh, pulling your tank top down and unclipping your bra to breastfeed him.

Dieter’s eyes widen at the sight of your breast and he can’t deny his cock twitches a little at the idea of drinking down some milk. Shit, when did that kink happen? “I appreciate it. I have no clue what I’m doing.” He admits again and all the women laugh, “none of us do. It’s instinct and a lot of books.” One giggles, “and Google.”

“I didn’t even know.” Dieter moans, shaking his head. “It was- it was a one night stand.” He feels bad about that, not even able to tell Rosie about his relationship with her mom when she gets older. “I’m trying to hire a nanny but all of them are booked up.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to fuck her up. She’s so tiny. Two months old.”

“What’s her name?” You ask him, looking at the little girl asleep in her carrier. 

“Rosie.” He says with a soft smile, it’s hard to not love the little girl now that he knows she’s his. He wants the best for her, even if she’s stuck with a manic mess like him. “This is Oliver.” You gesture to the baby now asleep on your breast.

Dieter smiles and tries not to notice the grunting sounds the kid is making. Feeling guilty because he knows that he would be making the exact same sounds the kid is if he was sucking down milk from your tit. “That’s nice.” He offers. 

“So what is your name?” The woman in charge smiles fondly at him and he’s surprised no one recognizes him. 

“Uh, Dieter.” He offers, curling his shoulders slightly. “Dieter Bravo.”

“Welcome Dieter.” Several of the women say to him with a smile. 

“So do you have any questions?” Julia, the group leader asks. 

“Where the fuck do I begin?” He replies dramatically, making all the women chuckle. 

“Well, we are here to help each other so might as well start.”

“So my first question. So is their shit always gonna be that black color?” Dieter shakes his head, making a face as he remembers the last diaper he had changed. 

All the women laugh. “No that won’t last for much longer since she’s three months old.” 

Dieter rolls his eyes gratefully. “Oh thank God.” He chuckles. Looking over at you again. “You said your son is two months old? Is he sleeping all night? Is that something that she has to get used to?”

You shake your head, “he isn’t sleeping through the night yet. I breastfeed so he wakes me up every couple of hours. It takes a while for them to sleep through the night. Like six months or so. Have you read any baby books?” You ask and he shakes his head. “Oh you must read - you know what. I’ll send you a list. What’s your number?” You ask and the women all giggle, making you fluster. “I mean, to help. We have babies close in age. It’s good to have help.”

“Do you need a job?” Dieter blurts out, wondering why he hadn’t thought of it before. “I mean- if your husband doesn’t mind.” He corrects himself, forgetting it was a single mother’s group. “I'm just- I’ve got to start pre-production on the next movie and it’s going to be crazy and you seem like you’re perfect. You handle your baby so easily.” His eyes are wide and pleading, begging you to say yes.

Your eyes widen, "I- um, oh wow. A job?" 

The other women all nod, telling Dieter about your history as a teacher and how you know CPR. You fluster, knowing you need a job. Your maternity leave ended two weeks ago and instead of letting you come back to work, your job had fired you. Between losing your job and your landlord chasing you up on rent, you know this is too good to turn down. "I'm not married and um, what job do you have in mind?"

“Nanny.” He jumps immediately on your question. Knowing that it’s not a ‘no’. “I’ll pay you really well and you can- can you live there? I mean, I can have odd hours and you can stay at my place. You and Oliver.” He makes sure to include your son. “I have a big house. In Sherman Oaks.” As if that would sweeten the deal. “Help me with Rosie and teach me how to be a dad. How to look after her. I don’t expect you to do it all.” He clarifies, having already gotten used to the idea of being a ‘girl dad’. He’s watched a few Tik Toks about it and it looks cool.

You know it sounds too good to be true. A job and a place to live with your son. “I think we need to sit down and talk this through properly. You don’t even know me. Don’t you wanna do a background check?” You ask, knowing you’d be doing that if you were hiring someone to live in your house. “We have a lot to discuss.” You bite your lip and look around the room to see the other moms nodding to encourage you.

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dieter nods seriously. “My agent will have that done. Plus the NDA you would have to sign.” He’s grateful you are even thinking about it. “But don’t worry. Most of the tabloid stuff is bullshit. I’m not that bad.” He promises with a quick, charming grin. “We can hammer out the details after this, right?”

“Uh, sure.” You nod and Dieter winks at you before turning back to the women, their own babies in their arms and you know this is too good an opportunity to turn down. “You wanna go get a coffee?” You ask Dieter after Oliver is in his stroller and you look at Rosie who is still asleep, unaware of her father trying to hire her a new nanny. 

“As long as it’s quiet.” He says and you frown, “uh, sure. You said you are going into pre-production so does that mean you are an actor?” You ask, unaware of if he’s famous.

Dieter stares at you for a moment, wondering if you are just trying to play coy but you are just looking at him curiously. “Yeah, uh, I am.” He admits, finding it refreshing that someone on this planet doesn’t know who he is or have any expectations of him. “I normally do two or three movies a year, depending on how long they take to film or whatever.” He struggles with the carrier and the door, holding it open for you on the other side. “Gotta get one of those.” He tells himself, eyeing your stroller.

“We can make a list of what you’ll need. I’m guessing you have the basics but there’s so much stuff.” You sigh, knowing it’s not always been in your reach but someone like him could buy it all. 

“A list sounds good. Coffee?” He suggests, gesturing to the small coffee shop down the street and you nod. 

“Sounds good. I desperately need one. He kept me up all night. He was hungry last night and wouldn’t settle unless he was against my breast.”

Dieter keeps his dirty thoughts to himself, but he doesn’t blame the kid. He would love to sleep with a nipple in his mouth too. “We will make sure to get you an extra shot of espresso.” He promises, carrying the car seat and diaper bag as he walks alongside you. “I’m being serious. About the job, I mean.” He tells you. “I have tried every nanny service in the greater L.A. area with no luck, although I’m on their waitlist.” He sighs and shuffles the carrier when his arm gets tired in one position. “I have an in-law suite you and Oliver can use, if you want a little more privacy than just sleeping upstairs.” He knows he sounds desperate, because he is desperate. Johan knows less than he does about babies and has zero interest in watching the kid while he is busy.

“Let’s sit down with the babies and then we can order.” You suggest and he nods, guiding you over to a table in the back. Rosie is waking up and he panics when she starts to cry. “Oh hello gorgeous.” You murmur, leaning down to look at his daughter and Dieter is fumbling to get the bottle from the bag to make her formula. You sigh, sensing he needs help and you unbuckle the baby, Oliver asleep as you cradle Rosie, her cries settling a little and you stand up, rocking her and you reach for the formula Dieter has, a whole damn container, and work fast on a bottle. “My sister has kids. I used to babysit them.” You explain and work fast with one hand to prepare a bottle and bring it to her lips. “Here you go sweet pea.” You coo as she starts to gulp down the milk.

“You’re really good at this.” Dieter says in awe, watching you handle things so smoothly. “I’m just-I don’t know.” He sighs, feeling bad that he’s not good at this. 

“Babies sense the emotions around them.” You tell him quietly. “You panic, she’s going to become more frantic. Just talk to her while you are getting her bottle ready. Or have one already mixed up, ready to go.” You think about all the formulas that are already bottled and just need a nipple slapped on them. “We can find a routine that works for you.”

Dieter nods, “yes. Yes. God, please take the job. I need you.” He pleads and you shift Rosie into his arms, transferring the bottle to him. 

“I’ll take the job. On one condition.” You say, sitting back down and you rock Oliver’s stroller. 

“Anything.” Dieter vows. 

“You learn too. I don’t want you to just shove her into my arms at the first sign of difficulty. She’s your daughter. You need to know how to care for her, to bond with her. You can’t just hand her off and expect me to do it all. She needs to know her daddy.”

Dieter nods, knowing that he would do that if given the opportunity. “Okay.” He agrees. “I want you to help me become better at taking care of her.” He bites his lip and looks at you. “What do you want for pay?” He asks, listing off a number that the nanny services had given him. “Does that sound okay? Plus, you’ll have full use of the house. And a card for expenses. I don’t expect you to buy the diapers or wipes or any of that shit.”

Your eyes widen, it’s way more than you were making at your old job. Your landlord has been threatening you with eviction since you’re struggling to pay, and this almost seems like fate. “Wow. I- are you sure?” You ask him and he nods, “I’m absolutely sure.” 

You swallow and offer him a soft smile, “then I’m your new nanny.” He grins and your heart thumps in your chest at how handsome he is. “There’s something you gotta know though.” You sigh and Dieter nods, waiting for you to go on. “Oliver’s father. He - he died.” You feel yourself tearing up, “we - I was only a few months pregnant when we got into the car accident.  I didn’t even know I was pregnant at the time but Ollie- he- he died. We were- we were friends, friends with benefits and we got pregnant and he- he never got to meet his son.” You choke, the grief that’s consumed you threatens to take you again. He didn’t have any family left alive so Oliver would’ve been his only family.

“I’m sorry.” Dieter frowns, unsure of how to comfort someone about a death that meaningful but he feels like he should say something. “That is rough. Hopefully- hopefully this will turn into a good arrangement.” He offers with a small shrug, realizing that things could be worse. He can’t imagine what it would be like going through this alone. “After our coffee, do you want to come over? See the house?” He asks. “I can call my agent to draw up any kind of paperwork you want.”

You nod, sniffing to stop yourself from crying about Ollie. You loved him, he was your friend, but you were never in love with him. He had his problems and you had yours. It would’ve never worked. Oliver is here now and you have to be strong for him, to keep Ollie’s memory alive. “Yes. I- this is a lot but I want to change my life. I need a change. I want to work for you.” You say as the barista takes pity on you with the babies and comes over to take your order. “I’ll have a vanilla latte please.” You order and Dieter adds, “with an extra shot of espresso.”

After taking your orders, Rosie finishes her bottle and Dieter shifts to put her up on his shoulder to burp. “Hang on, you need a spit rag.” You insist, digging in your own diaper bag to produce one. 

“Huh,” Dieter huffs, “I just thought I was supposed to wear her puke until she stopped doing that.” He jokes, the stains on his shirt only partly from his daughter. 

“No, you always carry multiple burp clothes and changes of clothes, for both of you.” You tell him with a smile.

He nods, mentally taking notes. He has so much to learn from you to make sure his daughter is well looked after. He doesn’t want to fail at being a father. He wants her to know he did everything he could to be a good daddy. He knows you will be good for Rosie, for him too. He sips his coffee and watches you with Oliver, rocking his stroller, and he can see you’re a good mom. He feels comfortable with you. “Do you wanna come back to my place?” Dieter asks, realizing that’s the first time he’s asked that question without it being for sex or drugs

You bite your lip and look up at the frazzled, yet handsome man who is offering you a dream situation. A place to live and the ability to stay at home with your son while still earning money. You don’t know if you would ever get a better offer. “Yes.” You agree. “I’ll follow you? Maybe you can text me the address in case we get separated?” You want to look it up really quickly, just to make sure it’s a real place.

He nods, taking your number to text you his address. He is anxious for you to see the house, hoping you love it and it helps to get you to take the job. You strap Oliver into his car seat while Dieter does the same to Rosie and soon enough, you’re driving to his house.

“I, uh, I’ll ask the housekeeper to come in more than once a week.” Dieter offers, climbing out of his car as you do the same. He doesn’t want you to think that it’s all going to fall on you. “Oh, Johan told me about a diaper delivery service. All natural diapers? That’s better, right?” He asks, anxious about doing the right thing. He had read about the chemicals used in the nappies he currently has.

You smile at his anxiety, wanting the best for Rosie, and you know he’s going to be a good daddy once he gets his feet under him. “Johan?” You ask and Dieter nods, “my assistant. He’s - he is my lifeline.” Dieter confesses and you nod, understanding he lives a completely different life to you. He needs an assistant to manage his schedule. You take Oliver out of the car in his carrier and follow Dieter into the house, your eyes wide at the gorgeous home he owns. “This is - wow.” You exhale as you enter the grand property.

“Thank you.” Dieter shows you the bottom floor and opens the door to his study. “I have all this shit I don’t know what it’s for.” The room is filled with boxes of toys and jumpers, cribs and carriers. Johan had gone overboard but Dieter had wanted to make sure that he had everything he needed. Your eyes widen and he blushes, “I was trying my best.” 

You nod, understating he has struggled since Rosie was dropped on his doorstep. “We can get everything set up. Does she have a nursery?” You ask and he shakes his head, “she’s been in my room. I- I haven’t really slept. I’ve been trying to watch her sleep in case, you know.” 

You understand, knowing you stay awake watching Oliver breathing. It’s a lot of anxiety being a first time parent. “We will get her nursery set up and then you can keep her in your room if you want but then she has somewhere to nap and call her own.” You smile and rub his shoulder after you set Oliver down in his carrier, he’s asleep. “It’s gonna be fine.” You promise him, glancing around the beautiful living room. “It’s gonna need some baby proofing and, uh, that needs to go.” You gesture to the powder packet on the counter.

“Oh, I, uh-“ Dieter rushes forward and grabs the packet to sweep it off the counter and into his pocket. “I haven’t- that’ll be put away.” He promises, cursing himself for leaving it out. He hadn’t taken any lately, not since Rosie arrived because he’s too fucking scared of something happening to her while he’s bombed. “Sorry.” He hopes you don’t decide to leave him high and dry because of that. “Do you want to see the rooms you and Oliver could have?” He asks desperately.

You stop him, “I- I am taking the job but you won’t do drugs in this house with the babies. If something happened or they got hold of it - I couldn’t - no drugs in this house. Period. You wanna go get high somewhere else? Fine. But your daughter comes first, you understand?” You ask him, knowing you won’t risk your own son around that kind of bullshit.

Immediately nodding, Dieter understands what you are saying. “I haven’t- not since she’s arrived.” He confesses. “I’ve been too scared to even try in case something happens.” He’s not stupid enough to think he won’t do drugs anymore but he does want to be there for his daughter.

You nod, knowing it’s not ideal but it will have to do. As long as they aren’t kept in the house and he doesn’t do them around the children, it’s his business. You are just his employee. “Okay.” You pat his shoulder and he guides you to the guest suite. “Dieter…this is…wow.” You gasp at the massive room, “this is - this is a lot. Are you sure - there’s no other room you want me to have?” You ask, knowing this room is the size of your apartment.

“You need room for you and Oliver.” He shrugs, not wanting to say that he doesn’t have guests unless it was someone from a party. And he doubts he’s having those here anymore. “This way you have privacy and your own bathroom.” He knows that is important and figured this would be perfect. “And using another room for Oliver is okay too.” He doesn’t want to suggest the nursery can be shared, but he wouldn’t mind. “Will this work?”

You smile, reaching out to pat his arm, “this is more than enough, Dieter. It’s perfect.” You promise and he grins, pleased that you are happy. He sighs when Rosie starts to cry and Oliver follows suit, both babies waking up. “Come on daddy, let’s go feed the babies.”

He feels more confident with you beside him. Even if it’s just your presence reminding him that he should test the bottle on the inside of his wrist before popping the nipple in Rosie’s mouth while Oliver is greedily suckling at your breast for his own meal. “That wasn’t too bad.” He grins down at his daughter, eyes wide but slowly starting to close as she gulps down the bottle. “How often do you have to feed Oliver?” He asks, trying to keep his eyes on your face respectfully. You aren’t giving him a show.

“About every one and a half to two hours. Depends on when he’s hungry. He lets me know.” You chuckle and watch your son as his gulps turn into suckles which lead to him falling asleep against your breast. “It’s - it’s exhausting but he’s worth it.” You smile at Dieter who is rocking Rosie. “You’re getting better already. We will make a list of everything we need for you and, um, I guess I better go and pack.” You smile bashfully, knowing this is a big move but it’s what’s best for you and Oliver.

“Why don’t we hire someone to pack you?” Dieter asks with a frown. You have your hands full and he knows that it will take a lot to take care of your son and try to pack. “I’ll pay for it. I don’t mind. That way we can get the nursery set up.”

“Are you sure? I- I don’t know if you’re gonna find someone so late notice. I don’t have much. And I will need Oliver’s crib and -” 

You don’t get to finish because Dieter is pulling out his phone to call Johan and arrange for your things to be moved today. “Whatever it costs.” Dieter says and you swallow, knowing Dieter has more money than you could imagine if he can waste it like that. 

“Thank you.” You tell him, cradling Oliver who is fast asleep.

“It’s nothing.” Dieter waves away the thanks and looks down at Rosie as she finishes the last of her bottle. “Okay little girl, let’s get you to burp, and then maybe a nap?” He asks, grinning. “She has the manliest burps.” He brags, astounded that something so small could make such a racket. “I have the other cradle thingy if you want to lay your son down.”

“The bassinet?” You smirk and he shrugs one shoulder, “I’m still learning.” You nod and let him guide you to the bassinet and you carefully lay Oliver down before adjusting your shirt after clipping your nursing bra. Rosie burps and you giggle softly, liking how proud Dieter is of her and you watch him lay her down in the cradle next to Oliver. “Maybe they will be best friends.” You whisper, leaning closer to him.

“That would be cool.” Dieter imagines it, his own childhood lonely and isolated. There were times he had wished desperately for a built-in friend. “Let’s get out of here before we wake them up.” He has learned that Rosie is cranky if she gets woken up before she’s ready and he doesn’t blame her, he’s the same way. Maybe she got it from him. “So, uh, since there’s two kids….just, um, we’re gonna need that double stroller thingy, right?” Dieter asks as he walks down the hall with you. “And can you show me that carrier thing? The one you have the baby wrapped to your body? That looks cool. Oh, and uh, the diapers. The service, when we get that set up, use it for Oliver too.” He adds. “No need to have two different types of diapers, right?”

You nod, realizing it’s best not to argue. “Let’s leave them to sleep and we can work on getting the nursery set up. I- I really appreciate this opportunity, Dieter.” You tell him and lean in to kiss his cheek. He blushes as you set your phone up as a makeshift baby monitor, calling his phone, and you leave the babies to sleep. Dieter follows you, his eyes dropping down to your ass, and he curses internally when he realizes he finds you hot. 

****

“Dieter!” You call out, trying to find your boss. Oliver and Rosie are having tummy time on the play mat and you need your breast pump. It’s been a couple of months since you moved in with Dieter to become his full time nanny and it’s been surprisingly nice. Rosie is a good girl and you’ve grown to fall in love with her, making sure her and Oliver get equal treatment. “Can you get my pump?” You ask when he doesn’t respond.

“Yeah!” Dieter reluctantly lets go of his cock and tucks it away in his dress slacks. He had been trying to tug one out before he had to go to court, formally getting custody of his daughter. Nervous and not able to get high, jerking off had become even more of a habit than before now he had started thinking about you while he was doing it. You’re so fucking pretty and kind. Looking like an angel as you take care of his daughter. Dieter knows that he’s falling in love with you but he can’t do anything about it. Not willing to risk you leaving and denying Rosie the best nanny in the world. Washing his hands quickly, he rushes to the kitchen to grab the pump where you had cleaned it last night while he sterilized bottles. “Here it is.”

You thank him, breasts aching and you attach the suction, not thinking about Dieter as you sigh in relief at the milk finally being pumped. “Shit. That feels good.” You groan, the whooshing of the machine pumping and you have been pumping enough for Rosie to have milk too. It’s been a lot but you love the babies. “What time do you have to leave?” You ask Dieter, catching him staring at your tits and you hate that it thrills you. He’s so sexy, unintentionally so, and goofy as hell. He’s good with his daughter and you’ve grown close, raising the babies together, and you know it’s getting harder and harder to deny how you feel every day.

“Oh, uh, I gotta leave in twenty minutes.” His cock is still hard in his trousers and he twitches at the groan you make. Every day you pump, having no modesty around him now and you shouldn’t - it’s natural but Dieter still thinks it’s sexy. “I’m nervous.” He admits, glancing over at Rosie as she squeals and waves her arms on her tummy. “I know that my lawyer said it’s a formality, but what if the judge doesn’t like me? What if he takes Rosie from me?”

You shake your head and reach for his hand, squeezing it. “I promise you, it’s gonna be fine, D. You’re a good daddy and that will be shown. I know your past hasn’t been ideal but you got this. You’re a good man, Rosie is lucky to have you. We all are. It’s gonna be fine. I promise you.” You offer him a soft smile and squeeze his hand again.

“I’m more nervous than the night I won my Oscar.” Dieter confesses with a nervous chuckle. He doesn’t tell you that he was high, sure that you could guess that, although he has done anything more than hit his weed pen since you’ve moved in. Rosie is surprisingly therapeutic, although he’s glad she doesn’t understand what he talks about during the nights he gets up with her. The movie is almost halfway done shooting and he’s going to make sure that once he’s done, you get a week off so you can veg for more than a night. He looks down at your joined hands and smiles. “I’ll call you when I get out, okay?” He asks, and you nod, letting go of him. “And eat that kale and beet salad in the fridge”, he throws over his shoulder as he rushes towards the door. “It’s supposed to help the milk supply.”

You roll your eyes playfully, looking back at the babies. “Daddy is silly, isn’t he?” You talk to Rosie and look at Oliver, saddened that he isn’t going to know his father. You wonder what Ollie would think of Dieter. They are similar in a lot of ways but Ollie was always practical, making sure you weren’t in a relationship because of his strenuous job as a firefighter. He didn’t want you to be one of those women sitting around waiting for him. You sigh and wonder what you are going to do about Dieter. It’s too comfortable with him. 

****

“Dinner’s ready!” You call out. The babies are now six and seven months old. Sitting in their baby bouncers, watching you setting the dinner out for Dieter. He’s finished filming and you want to celebrate. The nice bottle of wine on the table alongside his favorite pasta.

“Oh my god, you spoil me.” Dieter groans as he comes into the dining room, freshly showered and in comfortable clothes. Rosie squeals happily and so does Oliver, both of them in their high chairs. Dieter grins leaning in and blowing a raspberry on his daughter’s cheek and then on your son’s. He never thought he was a kid type of person, but his playfulness extends to your son. He’s a good kid and it would not be right when you are so good with Rosie if he ignored the little guy. It makes him imagine that the four of you are a family, a real one and he was coming home from work to all of you. “You didn’t have to do this.”

You shake your head, enjoying the way his hand finds your waist as you reach for the parmesan on the counter. You turn to face him, cupping his cheek, “you just finished filming. You deserve a treat.” You smile, caressing his cheek and your eyes dip down to his lips for a second. He stares at you and you clear your throat, lowering your hand, “let’s eat. You must be starving.” You set the cheese down and glance over at the babies, you fed them while dinner was cooking so now you and Dieter can enjoy your meal.

“How was your day?” He’s finding that this, fatherhood and responsibility, is grounding for him. Not just concentrating on his whims and trolling through boredom. Every day is different and challenging with kids, especially when he’s trying to make sure that none of his own parents' mistakes affect Rosie. “The kids were okay?” He asks, pouring more wine into each of your glasses. You hum in protest but Dieter shakes his head. “Just pump and dump. You deserve more than one glass.” He huffs.

You sigh but let him pour some more wine, it’s been stressful with the babies today. “Rosie decided to throw up all over Oliver and herself so both of them needed a bath and then Oliver managed to get his diaper off in his onesie so he needed another bath and then Rosie wouldn’t stop crying because Oliver wasn’t next to her. It’s been - it’s been a day.” You sigh and Dieter nods, reaching for your hand. It feels so normal, like you’re complaining to your husband about your hectic day over wine and you look up at Dieter, “I love them both so much but today was…it was a lot.”

“I can imagine.” Dieter squeezes your hand gently and once again thinks that it’s odd that you don’t feel like his employee. You feel like his wife, although he’s never kissed you, or touched you like he’s imagined. “Let me take both the kids tonight.” He offers. “I’ve got the next week off before I have to do all the press bullshit for the other movie coming out in two weeks. Why don’t you take a little vacation? A spa or something?” His parenting skills have improved drastically and there have been times where he’s watched Oliver for you. Like when you had to go for another postpartum checkup.

You groan, letting go of his hand so you can continue eating. “I won’t lie…a massage sounds good. My back has been killing me.” You confess, twirling the pasta around your fork and you bite your lip, wondering what a massage from him would be like with his hands. “I wouldn’t mind going to the mall. I need some new clothes that aren't leggings.” You chuckle, “and I need some new underwear.” You sigh before you chew on the pasta.

Dieter’s cock twitches at the thought of your underwear. Not that he sees them. You’ve taken over doing the laundry even though he offered to have someone come in. Or he could help. Insisting that it was no problem. Johan had even commented that you made his house seem like a real home, and Dieter couldn’t deny that. “You could do all that.” He promises. “I’ll watch the kids. I want to spend some time with R and O.”

You feel guilty leaving the kids behind but you trust Dieter, something you never thought you’d say, but he has proven himself to be an amazing father. You smile, “thanks baby.” You tell him and he swallows the wine down. It’s getting harder to deny how you feel. After finishing eating, Dieter helps you clean up while you have the babies in the play pen. “Bedtime for the bubbies.” You coo, picking up Rosie and kissing her hair. “Daddy is gonna change you, baby girl.” You slide her into Dieter’s arms and pick up Oliver.

“Why don’t you go take your own bath?” Dieter offers, grinning down at Rosie. “You’ve had them all day and you said it’s been rough. Go take a bubble bath. I can get them ready for bed.” He’s made huge strides as a father, as a caretaker and now that he’s more confident, he finds he likes it. Kids are fun. And easy to learn how to please. “I can rock them both and get them settled.”

“Are you sure?” You ask, trusting him but you want him to be comfortable. 

“I am for this.” He promises and you nod, “you got this. I- I can feed O before they get to sleep.” You say and he shakes his head. 

“No. I got it.” He promises, knowing he can warm up your milk. 

You lean in to kiss the babies’ heads, “goodnight my loves. I love you so much.” You say to them and you look up at Dieter, offering him a grateful smile. You make your way into the bathroom, sighing in relief when you sink into the tub.

Dieter hums to the babies as he warms up their last bottles of the night. Changed and in clean onesies, they are ready for that last bottle. Smirking to himself as he tests the breast milk on his wrist and barely resists licking it. He wants to try it, but he feels like that might be crossing a line. Getting both of the babies settled in each arm and they can hold their own bottle now with a little help. “You two are like twins, you know that?” He coos at both of them, settling in the rocker on the nursery while they eat. Watching their eyes grow heavier as they suck. You had both decided to keep them in the same nursery, letting them bond and it has worked out so much better than he had ever hoped. He loves Oliver like Rosie and when they fall asleep at the same time, he’s grinning as he holds them for a little longer before shifting to put them to sleep in the same crib. They cried if they were separated, curling up together during the night as if they were twins.

You sigh, relaxing in the hot water until you decide to get out and say goodnight to the babies. You shrug your robe on, tying it as you make your way to the nursery as Dieter leans over the crib. “They asleep?” You whisper and he nods. You caress their heads, loving how they are asleep together, keeping each other safe. Sometimes you see them holding hands in the night. It’s adorable. You rest your head on Dieter’s shoulder as you watch them for another moment and he turns his head to kiss your hair. It makes your heart pound and you pull away, letting the babies sleep with the white noise machine running.

Dieter’s hands seem to be twitchy as you walk out of the nursery in front of him. He knows that you are only dressed in a robe and he wants nothing more than to strip you out of it and touch you. Make you shake in pleasure. “Do you want to have a drink?” Dieter asks. “Or are you calling it a night?”

“A drink sounds good. Relax after a long day.” You smile, walking into the kitchen to open the second bottle of wine you’d bought earlier. You work fast to open it, pouring a glass and handing it to him before you settle on the sofa. “You wanna continue watching that show on HBO?” You ask, knowing he hates it when you watch an episode without him.

“Yes!” Dieter lights up and he narrows his eyes at you playfully. “You better not have already watched it.” He threatens playfully, handing you the remote. He likes when you relax and loves that you feel completely at home here. It is your home. He leans towards you and takes a sip of the wine. “What do you think is gonna happen, this episode? The previews looked good.”

You nod, shifting closer towards him. “I promise you. I haven’t seen it yet.” You assure him and have another sip of your wine. You love and hate how relaxed you are, how easy this is. How real it feels. Like you’re a proper family. The baby monitor is on the coffee table and you rest your head on Dieter’s shoulder as he presses play. You barely watch the show, too focused on the way Dieter feels pressed against you.

About halfway through the show Dieter shuffles, throwing his arm around the backside of the couch and around you. Letting you slide down against him more. You pull the throw blanket over your legs and he smiles, wondering how you are always cold but it’s a cute quirk he’s noticed.

You snuggle into his side, hand finding his chest and you caress the skin under the shirt he always has half buttoned. He sighs and you breathe him in, pleased to feel his heart thumping under your touch. This intimacy, it’s what keeps you satisfied when you yearn for more but you can’t risk it. Your job. Your home. Your life is connected to his and you can’t afford to mess it up. 

“Marry me.” Dieter says and you think you misheard him. 

“What?” You ask, not moving. 

“Marry me.” He repeats and you jerk back from his side so you can look him in the eyes. 

“What- did you just ask me to marry you?”

“I did.” Dieter nods, turning towards you and reaching for your hand. “I love you. I love how you make this house feel like a home. I love how you care for Rosie and I love Oliver.” He adds. “I love coming home to you and I want this-“ he motions around the house and between the two of you. “To be real. I want to touch you, kiss you. Make love to you.” Dieter isn’t a man who talks in terms like ‘making love’ but that’s exactly what it would be. “I think you love me too, don’t you? I know you do.”

You shake your head, wanting to tell him you love him. He’s crazy, he leaves his socks everywhere and he has so many holes in his shirts but he’s kind and whacky and so damn funny. You love him, you’re in love with him, but to marry him would be a bad idea. You can’t risk this life you’ve created together. “Dieter.” You sigh, pulling your hand out of his. “We can’t. We can’t risk the babies. We - if it all went wrong, then I’d be moving out with Oliver and Rosie loses him and vice versa. If it all went wrong, I’d be homeless and I wouldn’t have anything. I can’t risk that for my son. I can’t. I’m sorry.”

His heart breaks but he’s determined to convince you this is a good thing. Latching onto what you said about being homeless, his eyes widen. “I’ll buy you a house.” He bursts out. “In your name alone. It’ll be yours. Completely.” He nods to himself, grinning like an idiot and picks up your hand again. “It won’t go wrong, you’re perfect and I love you. I want to be with you and our babies all the time and fuck, I want another baby when you’re ready.” He missed everything about Rosie’s birth and he wants to see your stomach large with a baby, his baby. “But if it did-“ he stresses the word ‘if’, “-you would have a house for you and Oliver. And you could rent it out right now. The money would be yours. Totally yours.”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “I can’t - that’s too much. A house here is insane. That’s a crazy amount to put into this. That - a whole damn house? That’s what you want to do?” You ask incredulously and he nods. 

“All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about you. I need you. I love you.” He promises and you swallow harshly, tears stinging in your eyes. 

Your heart yearns for him yet your head tells you it’s too much of a risk. “Dieter…” You trail off and he frowns, pulling away slightly, sensing your rejection. “I love you.” Your eyes water and a sob escapes your lips as you start to cry. No one has ever been so kind to you. To know he loves you enough to buy a house so you feel secure in case something goes wrong. It has you sobbing.

He lunges forward, crushing you to him in a comforting hug. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry. I never want you to cry.” He pleads, sure that he’s messed up somehow. “I’m sorry, I just can’t stop wanting you. Seeing you with our babies, I think- I wish they were ours. Our twins and we had them together.” He rubs your back and pets your hair as you sob into his chest and he tries to think of how he could make you feel better.

You sob into his chest at his words, wishing they were true but it’s not and that’s okay. The babies brought you together and you know you and Dieter would’ve never met if it weren’t for that single moms group. “I - I love you.” You offer him a watery smile as you pull back and he reaches out to gently wipe your tears away. “I love you and I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I love you Dieter.” You confess, cupping his cheeks.

Dieter’s smile is slow, soft and he can’t believe that you are saying yes. He leans in and presses his lips to yours softly. Loving how you immediately open for him to slide his tongue against yours with a groan. Pulling you close against him again, this time shamelessly pressing his body against yours. “I love you.” He promises, kissing down your jaw line. “Do you want to have sex with me? Or do you want to wait?” He wants you in his bed, but if you wanted to wait until the deed to the house was in your hands, he would understand that. He would go out tomorrow and buy you the best house he could find.

You know you’ve spent far too much time thinking about him, having him inside of you, pressing against you, and you know you should slow down but you can’t. “I want you. I don’t want to wait. I want you now.” You tell him breathlessly and you press your lips to his, cupping his cheek while you slide your tongue against his.

Groaning, Dieter pulls you closer and starts to lean you back against the sofa, knowing that he needs to take you to bed but right now, he needs to feel you under him. “So beautiful.” He praises, kissing your chin and nips your skin with his teeth.

You sigh, loving how it feels to have him touch you. His hand sliding along your thigh and you whimper, “Dieter. Please. I want you to touch me.” You plead, guiding his hand to the tie of your robe while your hands caress his chest under his ratty t-shirt.

He hums, twitching against your hip and he leans back and grins at you, “I’m going to, baby. I’m going to make sure you know exactly what you are getting from me.” He pulls your robe open and groans at the sight of your tits. Looking back up at you. “Can I taste?” He asks. “I’ve dreamed of tasting your milk.”

Your cunt clenches around nothing at the thought. “You’ve imagined it?” You ask breathlessly and he nods so you move fast to straddle him, his cock hard against your thigh, and you lean in towards him to kiss him as you shrug your robe off of your shoulders. “You can have a taste.”

He knows your tits are tender, hearing you complain and watching as you sometimes have to massage them. He cups them in his hands, groaning at how full they are, grinning. “Fuck, I can drink it all since you were going to dump it.” He realizes as he leans forward to wrap his lips around one nipple.”

“Oh shit.” You gasp, groaning softly at the relief and arousal coursing through you. You love it. Tangling your fingers in his hair, you watch him gulp down your milk and you’re amazed that he enjoys it. “Oh God baby.” You pant, feeling the relief of your milk draining and the way he sucks on your nipple, biting it now and then.

“Shit.” He gasps, feeling his cock throbbing. “It’s better than I expected.” He moans, switching to your other breasts and he knows this will become a favorite thing for him now. One hand slides down between your thighs and he is so fucking happy to find you wet.

“Dieter. Please.” You beg, needing more from him. It’s been so long since someone touched you. Not since Ollie. You rock down onto his fingers, loving how he rubs your clit while his lips suckle on your other breast. “Oh fuck, D. So good.” You whimper, caressing his shoulders.

“What do you want, baby?” He pulls off your nipple with a pop. “You want me to eat your pussy?” He groans at the thought. “Want to sit on Dieter’s face? Smother me with your cunt?”

You giggle breathlessly, “that’s the only way to shut you up?” You tease and he nods, “one of the few ways.” 

You laugh and he moves fast to shift, laying down and he pulls you over to hover over his face. “Shit baby. So good to me.” You gasp when he drags you down on top of his face.

The first taste is always amazing. Sliding his tongue though your folds as he pulls your hips down onto his mouth. Holding you there as he licks and then sucks on your clit.

You whimper, “baby. Oh baby.” You moan, grinding down onto his face. “So good. So fucking good.” You moan, loving how enthusiastic he is and he squeezes your ass, encouraging you to move. You do, rocking your hips down even more.

He doesn’t care that you two are on the couch or that he is throbbing in his pants. All he cares about is making you moan his name. He knows he will slide inside you as soon as you cum for him. He moans against your clit, loving how you are smothering him just like he wanted you to. Using him for your pleasure.

“Fuck. Fuck. It’s so good, baby.” You pant, lost in the pleasure of his mouth on you. You rock on top of his mouth, his nose pressing against your clit as his tongue pushes deep. “Fuck baby. Yes. Yes. Yes. Keep - keep going.” You beg, moaning his name.

He can’t breathe, but he doesn’t care. Too busy licking into you to feel your walls start to convulse around his tongue. Moaning when the first rush if your juices hit his mouth and your moan of his name almost makes him cum in his pants. Digging his fingers into your hips, Dieter doubles down on making you shriek his name.

You throw your head back as he makes you cum, moaning his name as you clamp down around his tongue. “Fuck baby. Fuck. I- I love you.” You whine when he works you through it and you whimper, lifting off of him when it becomes too much.

Panting like he was the one who had cum, Dieter licks his lips, completely pussy drunk as he caresses your side. Enjoying the boneless way you collapse on top of him as you try to catch your breath. “I love you. Fuck, you’re my new favorite meal.”

You inhale deeply, shifting off of him and you waste no time in tugging his shirt off of him. “Baby. I want to see all of you.” You tell him, tossing the ragged shirt away and you pull his sweats down to expose his cock. “Holy - that’s what you got?” Your eyes are wide at the girth and you wrap your fingers around him.

Dieter groans, bucking his hips and biting his lip in pleasure. “Fuck, is that not enough?” He gasps out. Normally women have no issue with his size but maybe your Ollie was hung like a horse.

“Not enough? Dieter, baby, I’m gonna feel you tomorrow.” You assure him, “I’m gonna need - wow. You might have to get some lube.” You admit and you start to pump him, in awe that your fingers don’t touch. You know it’s been so long since you’ve had sex and he is thick. You’ve always preferred girth over length anyway. “You’re big.” You promise him, leaning in to flick your tongue over the leaking slit.

He preens at your praise, eyes rolling back in his head at the feel of your tongue. “I’ve got lube.” He promises, reaching down and cradling your jaw. “Use it all the time, jerking off thinking about you.” He’s not ashamed of masturbating while thinking of you. “Baby let's go to the bedroom. You can ride me if you want more control.”

You want to suck his cock but you know you’ll have plenty of time to do that later. Right now, you need him inside of you. Releasing his cock, you pick up the baby monitor and stand up, smirking as you make your way to his bedroom. He’s scrambling to get his sweatpants off and you disappear down the hall, throwing over your shoulder, “don’t keep me waiting, Bravo.”

“Shit.” He hisses, eager to chase after you. Noticing that you are headed to his bedroom and not your own. “I’m coming baby, fuck.” He watches your ass shake as you sway your hips. “Gonna buy you the biggest fucking house I can find.”

You giggle, setting the monitor down on the nightstand and you gasp when Dieter’s hands grab your hips, pulling you back into him. You quickly spin and wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your lips to his. “I love you.” You murmur against his mouth, his hard cock pressing into your stomach.

“I love you too.” Dieter moans softly, sliding his hands down and squeezing your ass. “Do you- do you need me to wear a condom?” He asks, sure that you aren’t wanting to get pregnant so soon after having your son. It wasn’t like you two had discussed birth control.

“No. I- I got an IUD put in. Figured they might as well do it while I was there and it wasn’t painful. I’m clean too. Not been with anyone since Ollie.” You promise and wonder if he’s clean. You don’t know when he slept with someone last. Maybe after you arrived. You don’t know. It’s not like it was your business when you were just his nanny.

He nods. “I uh, I haven’t been with anyone since Rosie has shown up. I’m clean.” He promises, eager to slide inside you and feel you without a barrier. “I didn’t want to do that kind to shit around her. Give her a good example. Don’t want her to be like me.”

You cup his cheeks, “you’re a good father and she’s gonna be just fine. You’re doing a good job.” You remind him, leaning in to kiss along his jaw. “Come on baby, you want me to ride you?” You ask and he nods. You let go of him and he walks over to his nightstand to grab the lube while you kneel on the bed. When he’s laying down, you grab the bottle and squirt some into your hand, wrapping your fingers around his cock to coat him before you swipe your fingers through your folds to make sure you’re slick enough. “Fuck, you’re gonna stretch me out.” You tell him as you straddle him.

“Want to see it.” Dieter pants, chest heaving as he watches you position his cock at your entrance. Moaning your name as you start to sink down on him, he can feel his entire body light up in pleasure at the hot clutch of your cunt. “I love you. I fucking love you.” Dieter cries, his fingers digging into your thighs as you slowly take him deeper, watching your mouth drop open and loving the way you moan his name.

Your eyes close as you slowly sink down onto him. He’s so thick, it stings, but you like that. It’s been so long since you had sex and this is the man you love. Your heart pounds in your chest as your thighs meet his, his cock fully inside of you, and his fingers sink into your flesh. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” He grunts and you giggle, leaning down to kiss along his jaw. “I fucking love you too.” You murmur, licking along his neck until you are biting his earlobe so you can give yourself a moment to adjust to him.

He whines, unable to stop himself from lurching up in pleasure. “Oh did you like that?” You giggle breathlessly, making him moan and turn his head so you can do it again. 

“More baby, fuck. Want you to mark me up.” He begs, so starved for attention that he needs to drown in it. His hand squeezes your ass again and it takes concentration to not urge you to move, your walls fluttering so deliciously around him.

You love how desperate he is for you. Biting down on his earlobe again and his cock twitches inside of you. You take pity, finally feeling comfortable, and you shift, rocking on his cock while you nibble on his ear, whispering “you’re mine. I’m gonna make sure everyone sees it.” You smirk as you kiss down his neck, sucking and biting on his skin.

“Fuck yes, I’m yours, I’m yours.” Dieter chants, rocking his hips up to chase your cunt when you lift off of him. Hating even the brief few seconds where he’s not buried inside your warmth. “All yours baby.” He groans, closing his eyes at the pure bliss of being able to touch you, to tell you what he’s thinking without worrying about offending you. “Gonna marry you. Give you everything.” He gasps out.

You moan, “I’m yours too. Been yours since I moved into this house. I’m gonna be your wife.” You promise and he groans, hands caressing your back. You kiss his collarbone and shift back, making his cock sink deeper and you grab his hands to help you balance as you ride his cock. “Fuck. Yes. God, so good. So good inside of me.” You ramble, squeezing his hands as you start to pick up the pace.

“God, fuck, your pussy is gold.” His toes curl and he loves how you start to bounce on his cock. Making your tits away heavily and he watches with them unabashed lust. “So fucking gorgeous.” He pants. “Can’t wait to see you pregnant, riding my cock.”

“One day.” You promise with a grin, breathless from how good this feels. You let go of his hands, leaning back to grab his knees, and you grind down onto his cock, hitting just the right spot to make you gasp. “Fuck, baby. Oh my - I’m - it’s gonna make me cum.” You confess, reaching down to rub your clit.

Dieter frowns and slaps your hand away, pouting up at you. “Let me.” He insists, pressing his thumb to your clit and rubbing a tight circle over the bundle of nerves while you bounce on his cock. “Fuck baby, cum, please cum. I’m gonna -“ he hisses. “Not gonna last. Too fucking tight.” Your walls clenching down around him every other bounce is getting to be too much and he grits his teeth, praying he lasts long enough for you to soak his cock.”

Your moans are getting breathier as you struggle to breathe from the pleasure. ���Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Dieter. I’m gonna - oh!” You moan, clamping down on his cock and soaking him, his thumb still working your clit until your thighs are shaking. “Cum for me.” You beg breathlessly, wanting to feel it as you convulse on top of him from your orgasm.

You don’t have to say anything else. His entire body is aching to cum, gripping your hips harshly as he starts to thrust wildly up into your body. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shiiiiiiiiiit.” Dieter whines, burying his cock half a dozen more times before his back is bowing and he is crying out your name, filling you with hot spurts of his seed.

You pant, collapsing onto his chest as his cock twitches inside of you, and you kiss along his neck. Unable to speak, you enjoy the aftermath of your orgasms. The connection you feel to Dieter has you on cloud nine. He’s a good father and a good man, despite what the paps print. He’s changed for his child and that makes you love him more. “Good?” You ask breathlessly, hoping he enjoyed it as much as you did.

“So fucking good.” Dieter’s eyes are closed and his expression is one of pure relaxation. Enjoying the way you feel on top of him. “God, you’re spending the night right here. Every night from now on.” He slides a hand up and down your back, enjoying the feeling of your slick skin under his palm. “Now we just need the kids to sleep through the night.”

“Soon. They are getting better. And you want another one to keep us awake?” You tease, giggling when his cock twitches inside of you. 

“I do.” He promises and you caress his cheek, leaning back to look into his eyes. “Me too. One day.” You lean in to softly kiss his lips, knowing you want this man to be your husband, to be everything. **** 

“Diet, babe. Can you get me that - shit.” You hiss after you feel the baby kick your ribcage. 

“Bad word mama.” Rosie points at you and you nod, “sorry, love. Mama needs to sit down.” You tell the three year old. Ollie comes over to sit down on the sofa next to you, his small hand on your belly as he leans in to talk to the baby in your belly. Rosie follows suit, wanting to do what her brother is doing. 

“Hello baby. It’s me. Your big brother-” 

“and sister.” Rosie adds as she leans in to press her ear to your stomach. You smile, tears in your eyes and look up to see Dieter walk into the living room. 

“You called baby?” He asks, paint splattered all over him from painting the new nursery. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Can you- can you get me some ice cream?” You bite your lip, knowing he’s been run ragged with your cravings.

Dieter grins, shoving his hand through his paint flecked hair, although he teases that the gray is because of you and the babies. “What kind of ice cream do you want, babe?” He strides over and rubs your bump before dropping a kiss on your lips. “Rocky road or are you wanting that cheesecake strawberry swirl?” He knows you will probably text him with more cravings, but he doesn’t mind. You are carrying his baby and you get what you want.

You smile at him, loving how flustered he looks when he has to go get your cravings, and you run your fingers over the kids’ heads before they look up at Dieter. 

“Can we have ice cream, daddy?” Rosie asks, that pout she definitely got from Dieter on her face. 

Oliver nods, “yes! Vanilla.” 

Rosie shakes her head, “chocolate!” 

You giggle and look at your husband, “I’ll have rocky road. Guess it’s an ice cream day.” You say and the kids cheer, excited to have ice cream.

“Vanilla, chocolate and rocky road.” Dieter nods, smiling down at the kids. He could never deny them much and while they would be considered spoiled, they were very well behaved. “Oh-“ he snaps his fingers. “Before I forget. The management agency called. They found another renter for the house and said that the repairs for the house were minimal, just paint to freshen up.” 

True to his word, he had bought you a house, deeded it in your name and hired a management company to handle the day to day issues and repairs. All of the profits were deposited into a bank account that was solely yours, even though you had access to everything of Dieter’s. “So that’s a weight off before the baby comes.”

The money going into that bank account is going to pay for the kids’ college. You won’t use it for yourself, not when you are happily married to Dieter. “Yes. Glad they managed to find another tenant.” You smile, reaching for his hand to kiss the back of it. 

“Daddy!” Oliver rushes over to him after shifting off of the sofa. 

“Yeah, buddy?” Dieter groans as he bends over to pick him up. 

“Can I come? To get ice cream?” He asks and Dieter nods, “of course.” You smile, loving how close Oliver and Dieter are. You adopted Rosie and he adopted Oliver not long after you were married. It felt natural and meant to be. Your little family, complicated but perfect. 

“We will be right back. Rosie, you wanna come?” Dieter asks and she shakes her head, climbing onto the sofa. 

“I wanna stay with mommy.” You pull her close, “we can watch our show while the boys are out.” You tell her in a playful whisper and she grins. 

“We will be back soon.” Dieter promises and you smirk at him, “after ice cream, the kids need to nap. Mommy needs ‘nap time’ too.” You say to Dieter and he smirks back at you, “what mommy wants, mommy gets.” He promises, knowing he wants you to moan his name while the kids are asleep. From Rosie getting shoved into his arms on a random day, to having a family with a baby on the way. Dieter never imagined being a family man but now, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

For me the whole question of who is the rightful heir to the throne and the whole reason why I am team black all the way is very simple. Rhaenyra is the rightful heir to the throne because Viserys, who was the King at the time, named her his heir and he got all the lords to swear fealty to her when he did. The King's word is law, it really is that simple.

It's the same with the whole Jace, Lucerys and Joffrey debate, I don't consider them bastards and therefore excluded from inheriting lands and titles because Viserys, the King at the time declared them, publicly and on several occasions as legitimate and the rightful heirs. We know from the og show that a king has the power to make a bastard legitimate so if Viserys is standing up in front of witnesses and saying these boys are legitimate then they are legitimate end off.

Also whilst on the subject I have seen claims in the past that Rhaenyra is trying to trick poor Corlys and Rhaenys into believing that those boys are Laenor's and that makes her an evil bitch of a whore apparently. But here's the thing, those boys are Laenor's, like he claimed them as his own, both he and Rhaenyra referred to them as their boys. We know that Rhaenyra and Laenor tried and failed to conceive a child and so they looked to other methods of producing an heir. Look I don't really like using modern day constructs etc when talking about medieval set stories but I can't think of a better way of explaining what I mean, but the way I see it is like if a couple want a child but can't conceive so they get a donor, using this donor they are able to have a child. You wouldn't then go around and say that the father wasn't really that child's father because they weren't genetically related. So what we essentially have is a couple using a donor situation but set in a medieval fantasy society which complicates matters. Unlike in a modern setting where the couple could be open and honest about using a donor, Rhaenyra and Laenor could not but it still doesn't change the fact that the three boys were planned by Laenor and Rhaenyra and were seen as their children. This isn't a Cersei/Robert situation where Cersei was trying to pass Jaime's kid's off as Robert's without Robert's knowledge. Everyone involved knew what was going on and agreed to it. Laenor knew that genetically they were Harwin's, Harwin understood that legally and in all other ways those boys were Laenor's and not his. Yes Harwin was involved in their lives, yes Harwin clearly loved those boys, yes those boys were lucky enough to have two men in their lives who loved them and cared and protected them in a fatherly way, but that doesn't change the fact that they were still Laenor's sons. Rhaenyra chose Harwin to have children with because he was someone she trusted and cared for and who she knew cared for her, considering in their society if Laenor's sexuality was discovered or it was discovered they had used Harwin as a 'donor' to have their children, it could have really bad consequences of course she would want to chose someone she was sure would keep her secret.

I guess my overall point here is that its not as simple as Rhaenyra lied to Corlys, Rhaenys and her own boys about who their real father was, because their real father was Laenor. This situation came about because both Rhaenyra and Laenor were under pressure to produce heirs, so they found a way, together, of producing those heirs, so really when Rhaenyra tells her boys that Laenor is their father its the truth, he is in every way that matters. When she tells Corlys and Rhaenys these are your grandchildren, again its the truth. Because at the end of the day if Laenor himself knew and agreed with how those boys came to be and considered them his own, then its no one else's business how Laenor and Rhaenyra had those children, they are still their children.

Anyway I've rambled on enough and its 2am where I live and I should really be getting some sleep. But yeah, as far as I am concerned Rhaenyra is the rightful heir and her three eldest boys are the true sons of Laenor and are legitimate and the rightful heirs of the throne and driftmark, I will not budge on that. Alicent, the greens and everyone else just needs to mind their own damn business when it comes to those boys.

[youcouldmakealife]

Masking, YCMAL edition

So, after the general info on masking, here's how it specifically looks like and impacts some of the 'verse's characters.

I think I kind of need to preface this with the fact that a lot of my characters have neurodivergent traits because, well. I do. I don't know how a neurotypical person thinks, the same way a neurotypical person doesn't know how a neurodivergent person thinks. You can read about the experience, and, despite shitty stereotypes to the contrary, you can empathize with it, but the wiring of the brain is literally different.

So when I'm listing characters here as neurodivergent, I either a) set out to write them that way or b) in hindsight can't deny that their experiences are written through a very specifically neurodivergent lens. Someone not being explicitly labelled as ND doesn't necessarily mean they aren't, I just..really don't want to go back through my entire 'verse applying diagnoses the same way I happily slap an MBTI or enneagram or kindergarten teacher/assassin label on them, because that feels wrong.

But if you're neurodivergent and see something in a particular character that makes you feel seen, I'm not going to tell you 'nah man, they're actually neurotypical'. Especially because literally every single one of them was written by someone neurodivergent.

Anyway! Canonically ND characters and their masks:

David: masks extensively. Generally does his best for 'unobtrusive, pay no attention', unsure why it doesn't seem to work (mostly because he's talented and beautiful, so it seems less 'unobtrusive' and more 'I think I'm better than you', which isn't helped by the fact that often when the mask does slip, it's to show frustration, contempt, or disdain -- think at the All-Star Game his rookie year, or several points early on with Jake. Also does not help that he often does think he's better than people.)

Bryce: Still laughing at 'straightsona' used to describe Bryce out with his teammates, because it's perfect. His 'I don't care, I'm hot as shit, bitches love me' dickhead behaviour was him picking up those behaviours from popular peers and teammates over the years, partly mistaking that for the reason they were popular (rather than being seen as boy kings making them callous or arrogant), and partly viewing them as the exemplar of someone no one would predict was gay. Jared's worst enemy.

Speaking of, honourable mention to Raf Sanchez AND Julius Halla here, Jared's going around collecting neurodivergent loved ones all through IJ(aoe).

James: 'unobtrusive, pay no attention', much more successfully than David, partly because he has a mouthpiece in the form of Finn. His crashing after road trips is partly extended overstimulation and change, but it's also having to wear the mask more extensively, because he has much less time to himself, especially when he shared a room. (He's mostly unmasked with Finn, that's why Finn is his exception to a lot of No People things, but he wasn't at the beginning).

Holden: Also kind of 'I don't care, I'm hot as shit, bitches love me', but...ironically? He doesn't mask as much as the others, and because of that, he frequently drives away people who originally seem to like him and wonders why. Has been described as 'a lot'.

Fiona: Literally will not leave the house without a full face of makeup and a pair of heels or she'll feel exposed and vulnerable, and putting her make up on is how she prepares to be Outside Fiona. She's very perky and friendly at work. The second she gets home it's an 'uggggh' moment and straight into the shower to decompress/literally unmask. She's more aware than any of the guys that she's putting on a performance, partly because she grew up with all those 'girls are expected to be...' followed by a list of things she definitively wasn't. Has also been described as 'a lot'.

Finn: And How May I Be of Service To You Today?

Now this is where it gets kind of interesting because like -- people often have facades. That's not a neurodivergent only thing. People can be fake, or posture, or pretend to be something they're not. Mike, for example, will lean into the big macho asshole when he's put on the defensive, Willy is Always Performing, Thomas is sunshine even when he doesn't really feel like being that, Robbie will play the buffoon to make people laugh if he thinks they need it, half of Joey's rants are playing to the cheap seats.

Like, there's a difference between pretending you're somebody else sometimes, or behaving inauthentically, and full on 'yeah, they're masking'.

But Georgie is masking. Georgie is, at all times, evaluating his surroundings, monitoring people's emotions and reactions (especially to him), and behaving in the manner he thinks is most likely to lead to his being liked. And he was already doing that when Robbie met him, but it's intensified significantly since.

I think that's where the biggest difference lies between some of the above ND characters and Georgie? David, for example, doesn't care if he's liked (like, yes he does, but also...no). The mask is for safety/to minimize vulnerability. David's in particular was tweaked to get praise and avoid criticism from his parents (didn't work), teachers, and coaches (worked much better), not so much for his peers.

But Georgie's isn't for safety. Georgie doesn't manage his behaviour to avoid harm, Georgie wants people to like him. And he's discovered that people don't seem to like him when he does certain things, or acts certain ways, or needs things from them, so he just...doesn't do those things.

Finn's interesting because he has both forms. Please like him it'll break his heart if you don't.

[saltygilmores]

(Gilmore Girls) talking points I can and will discuss for hours at any time (mostly Jess stuff though)

Saw someone do this on Instagram and thought I'd do it too.

Dean is An Abomination and his own parents tried to abandon him on the side of the road (he made his way back somehow, crafty son of a bitch) Lorelai is a terrible horrible no good immature person, a gignatic hypocrite, a bad mother, and she dismisses and often encourages Dean’s abuse towards Rory How Lorelai married into Jess' family and now there SHOULD BE a cloud of shame hanging over her head that she treated her nephew like shit for no reason for years and now she has to look him in the eye at every holiday and family gathering for the rest of time, but she has no shame. Aunt Lorelai remember when I was 17 you said I should die in a fire and you'd rather save your shoes? Anyway, Pass the turkey. How much does Rory tell Jess about what Lorelai says about him behind his back Lorelai and Dean's affair (The DALA)

Justice for Lindsay Lister Nearly any Pre and Post Stars Hollow Jess Headcanon (That Usually Do Not Involve Rory) (his entire childhood, his entire adulthood, his ho life, his success as a popular author, Jess as a brother to Doula, life in Philadelphia, stories with his Truncheon buddies, Jess as a mediocre drug dealer in NYC #heytawd), Jess traveling cross country (love that one so much I made an absolutely massive Spotify playlist to accompany it), did he ever go to college? Among the carousel of rotating Mom's Boyfriends and Stepfathers did he ever have a few good ones in the mix? Liz likely didn't have a car and would never care to teach him, so who taught him how to drive?

If Jess had such a terrible childhood did Luke ever try to intervene? How much did he know? How much did he see Jess as a kid? Was Jess ever in foster care? Liz Danes...just Liz Danes. Could probably discuss this trainwreck and the people in her orbit until i was blue in the face. I have thoughts. Headcanon: Jess has had sex with any other similarly-aged existing character on the show besides Rory at some point (this would be in the future, during his Ho Years.. I don't really find any joy in the thought of him cheating on Rory) Where do Rory and Jess go on the dates that are (infrequently) implied they have Why does Luke always bring up how severely he underpays Jess for working a the diner? How often does Jess wait on Rory and Lorelai's table? Do they actually tip him, ever? Shane, Shane’s murder The date of Jess' birthday (it's late August or early September, babes. I'm unflinching on this but willing to hear all sides)

The origin of Jess’ unusual name How do Jess and Rory celebrate birthday and holidays together (within the OG series timeline)? If they actually do? Does Jess actually want to celebrate his birthday or Christmas? What gifts do they buy each other? The prom that never was Rory loses her virginity to a stupid butthead but doesn't put out for Jess for like 8 months and frequently teases him while the poor thing doesn’t even have the privacy to jack it once in a while to a Maxim magazine (but also, did they or did they not come fairly close off screen at some point, when and where?) gurl you interrupted a steamy makeout session so you could run home and talk to your mom! You talk to your mom every second of every day! And before that, you run away after your first real make out sesh so you could go talk to Dean! You are beyond help. What is up with that "We haven't seen each other in four years" comment between Jess and Rory in AYITL? What the hell happened in 2012? What is the day to day life in Stars Hollow High like between Jess, Dean, Lane, Lindsay without Rory around? Do Dean and Jess have any classes together? Where do they sit in the cafeteria? How come Lane and Dean never told Rory that Jess was skipping school? Especially when Dean has an incentive to spill the tea (getting Jess in trouble) and Lane is a hopeless gossip and there's no effing way she could keep something like that from Rory for that long

What is The Subsect actually about

What would it be like if Jess went to Chilton with Rory? How would he even get in (I really have to stretch the limits of my imagination but I have a few weak theories)

Madelyn and Louise (they’re awesome)

The friendships that could have been between Jess and Paris or Jess and Lane

How Rory is too dopey to see that Paris is in love with her

How disaster follows every female character who loses their virginity (even when in the confines of marriage)

The child bride epidemic on this show

Dave Ryglaski is mediocre. Alex is under rated and it’s a shame the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole probably sucked him in like Dave was, never to be seen again.

I don’t even care about her storyline: April as a character is so incredibly annoying I can’t watch any scene she is in.

Jason DiggerStjmes is so uninteresting and his chemistry with Lorelai is so weak and the insurance storylines are so fucking insipid I have to skip all of those scenes too.

The only characters who emerged from season 6 with any sort of diginity intact were Jess and Paul Anka.

[notdiabolika]

What do you think would happen if yui suddenly shrank ? Like if she got cursed by the potion that shrinks her what do you think would happen?

What if Yui became VERY small? 🌸

[Português]

A man's voice resounds through the empty church: "Confess your sins." Bare feet walk on the icy ground, It’s covered in shattered stained glass windows A strange painless path, To the silver bottle on the altar. "Drink me," the note reads.

The flavor is strange, But as soon as the last drop touches her lips The maiden opens her eyelids And finds darkness again ——

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"This... Is a dream, isn't it?"

So confused, she slides her hands through the covered fort, discovering that she almost drowned in it as she emerges. It's tiny. Getting out of bed would be an arduous task of ziplining through the sheets, so she sat on her pillow until someone came to see her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened... I just had a weird nightmare and... I woke up like this."

She tells the Sakamakis everything she has seen in an exasperated tone. It's only a matter of time before everyone else finds out what happened.

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"What? Don't tell me you became small because of a dream..."

He lets out (at least) a nasal laugh when he hears this story while finding it scary. Whoever is behind this is quite powerful, and childish too.

"I think that is what you get for hanging out with vampires like us... You know, it is more comfortable to hear your voice like that, quieter."

Despite his comments, he strives to keep her safe. After all, if something happened, "the responsibility would fall on my shoulders.”

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“... Do you seriously drink from an unlabeled bottle and expect to have no side effects? What nonsense."

He is disappointed and even angry with the situation, believing it would be easy to avoid. 

"Luckily for you, potions rarely have lifetime durability, so I believe the effects are not permanent. Anyway, I'll seek an antidote."

Having access to several books and archives, he does intense research work to make her body return to its original size as soon as possible.

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"Pancake, you're the size of a cockroach..."

Will he bully her? Of course, because "it's your fault for being so careless". But the truth behind his dry banter is that he's stressed, thinking about how he will keep something so small safe.

"How do you expect Yours Truly to drink your blood like this? What a pain... You better get back to normal soon!"

Ayato will fight for mini Yui's attention anyway, he doesn't want her fleeing to any other guy at a time like this.

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"How DARE you do this to us?! What will happen if Teddy needs sewing? Uu... you're so selfish..."

First, he cries, because the sweets she bakes, the tea parties, and all the other plans she made for the two are ruined.

"You know... I might as well crush you with the sole of my shoe. But I will have mercy... if you fit my dolls' dresses, of course."

He starts treating her and playing as if Yui were a real doll, and if she cooperates, he may become more lenient. Or not.

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"Aww... little bitch looks so adorable... It seems like you will need our help for a long, long time."

He finds the situation funny instead of complaining and teases her a lot for having fallen into such a trap.

"What's it like to watch me be so much bigger than you? Does this size difference make you excited? Fufu... It's a shame there's nothing we can do like this."

A fraction of him is satisfied by caring for Yui, stroking her head, and helping her get around, even if it's problematic. Maybe he would even feel a little vulnerable and sensitive for that reason.

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“... What the fuck? How did this happen?"

No one is more confused than him. Now Subaru has to ensure his brothers don't hurt such a delicate version of Yui.

"Give her some space! She can't breathe with all of you taking her oxygen and talking like a bunch of parrots. It's even hurting my ears."

Definitely takes the prize for being the most stressed out in this situation, can't wait for Reiji to find an antidote because he can't take this anymore and it’s only been five minutes.

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Choosing Sakamakis to answer that request was definitely a big mistake XD

The monologue at the beginning had a slight reference to the plot of Lunatic Parade, so consider this mess a whole work by Count Walter. How small Yui actually got is debateable, and I wouldn't take the boy's words at face value.

I would like to thank the anonymous person who sent me such an exotic idea, it was fun to explore and think about how they would react.

Have a nice day ✨

[seth-burroughs]

Hot take incoming but Makoto is one of the characters where everybody focuses on only one of his crimes, which is arguably actually the most justified out of all his actions, while ignoring pretty much. Everything else.

Like sorry but I don't think turning people into food was That Bad considering homunculi need human meat in order to live, they literally die if they don't eat it - it's either A. no humans get killed, and in turn all of Kanai Ward dies, or B. humans die and get turned into meatbuns, and Kanai Ward gets to exist. You could argue that the defective homunculi weren't really supposed to exist anyway but like, they do now so what. Makoto is also a homunculus, of course he probably sympathizes more with the other homunculi instead of the humans (that put them there in the first place) of course he's gonna choose KW over approx. a million humans.

If that was me in that situation I'll do the same thing fuck them bun filling lmao sorry I'm not saying it would be the best choice but it's one literally most people would choose anyway because like. What can you do, it sucks, moving on.

Substitutes for human flesh are possible to create (thank you ramen guy) but it'd require him to seek help from others which would require him to tell them the truth which fuck no. Like in that regard I believe he should be allowed to kill whoever he wants actually!

What actually makes me go 🤨 about him is everything else he's doing. Or not doing - aside from providing food and rain clouds, aka only a portion the bare necessities, he's doing absolutely nothing for Kanai Ward, especially Dohya District. He lives in the most expensive looking penthouse I ever laid my eyes upon, there is so much he could do with all of his billions, like, I don't know, at least unflood the Dohya District do you remember the Dohya District it appeared once in chapter 3 I believe.

Also your city has a poverty crisis the population's like 10% rich bitch working for ✨Amaterasu✨ 90% i live in a sewer i have like 8 shien. Please stop saying you love KW like every othet sentence and actually do something I'm begging you I'm poking you with a stick right now.

Say what you want about Yomi but he was so real for telling Makoto he's not doing shit, only ever instance in rc where the guy is like.... somewhat correct. I was about to say something else but I stopped myself because I have a healthy amount of Fear.

Apparently Makoto's love for all homunculi doesn't extend to Kurumi though, a teenage girl, after he just dumps her along with Yuma in the restricted area for no reason whatsoever, endangering her severely. He also risked her finding out she was eating human flesh for three years straight, the only reason she didn't go into the freezer was because Yuma was there to tell her there was nothing there. There was no reason for Makoto to drag her along to be the audience to his epic showdown with his DNA donor.

I'm not mad at him for that though, that was so fucking hilarious, the fuck?? What is wrong with him <3333

Since I know somebody is going to say that Yomi existing severely limits what Makoto can actually do, which is fair to some extent, but like... Was Yomi holding a gun to his head and telling him he's gonna execute the hostages if he tries to unflood Dohya? Was he? Yomi controls the peacekeepers, he doesn't control where Amaterasu money gets donated. Yomi (and by extension, the peacekeepers - Yomi is, as I see it, the personification of everything wrong with the Amaterasu Corporation cops peacekeepers anyway) can be blamed for a large portion of everything wrong with Kanai Ward, but not the entirety of it; and Makoto can't be, either. Blaming everything on Yomi is not only just wrong, but also the most boring answer possible.

Speaking of -- Makoto didn't even care about all the abuse of power Yomi was commiting the entire time. According to him, "If all Yomi did was throw his weight around, that would have been fine, but [forgot the exact phrasing, but he says him trying to leak homunculus information was where he had to step in]", so you can't even give him points for being a Yomi hater! Sad. Anyway here's how makoyomi worsties can still win

Do I dislike Makoto? No not really. I don't really care about him as much as other people tend to, but he's fun when you let him be his silly (ominous) self. The atrocities are a part of him and I decided they're funny. Actually wait I changed my mind I love him now.

[thissortofsorcery]

Harringrove social media AU (in a season 2 setting because that is my paradise land) where Billy makes surfing TikToks as a teenager, with a really good following and a promising career as a pro surfer. Until Neil moves the entire family to a landlocked state, and Billy knows it's to punish him.

There could be several reasons for this:

-Billy is becoming too independent from Neil;

-Someone questioned a bruise Billy didn't cover up well enough and now it's all over the internet;

-Billy was caught with a guy he was seeing;

-Billy's mom saw his TikToks and tried to get in touch, Neil had been keeping him from her;

And now Billy's in a town in the middle of nowhere, Indiana, two months into the school year, and everybody expects him to, what, be chill about it? Not care that Neil can just ruin his life and his career on a whim, and there's nothing he can do about it? Billy's raging, Billy's seething, Billy's hurt, and no one wants to or can help him. Susan won't lift a finger or say anything against Neil, looks down every time his dad raises his voice or his hand to hit Billy. And Max- Max is furious with him, blames him for the move like he was the one who decided to pack everything, like he was the one who sold his board and packed the cars and bought the ugly house on Cherry Lane.

What the hell is Billy supposed to do now? He's a senior and he had no plans of going to college, hasn't even thought of applying anywhere. His account is going to die out if he doesn't post anything, and who can guarantee he can raise it from the dead in a year if he makes it back to California once he's eighteen? He needs the TikTok money to make it back to California anyway. He's screwed. He's so screwed.

On the other side of this, is Steve. Steve is a gaming streamer and youtuber, or was- is. He's trying, okay? But ever since- everything, he can't play horror games anymore. He used to stream horror games pretty much exclusively, had whole events for it, charity streams, sponsorships, and then the whole Upside Down thing happened, and he knows his role in it was minor, okay, he knows he was there just for the tail end of it, but a seven-feet tall monster with a flower for a face coming out of the ceiling of the Byers house was both his starting and breaking point, apparently.

His channel was pretty good. Pretty stable. Then he tried to stream Blair Witch about a week after everything and had a panic attack on stream. Things didn't get better after that.

Nancy got him into Animal Crossing, because it's soothing, so he streams that now. And The Sims. Needless to say, his channel took a pretty big hit, as did his reputation. Like Tommy H. says, he turned bitch.

But it's fine, everything's fine. He's got Nancy, he's got a loyal online community that stayed after everything, even if it's small and no one's anywhere near Hawkins. He's got his SAD (Steve After Dark) Streams for when he can't sleep. Halloween is coming up and he's maybe sad he's not doing Spooktober this year, but. Maybe on the last week. Maybe on Halloween Day. If Nancy doesn't want to go to Tina's party.

Billy and Steve collide pretty much the same way. Steve is on edge and Billy is on edge, then the world's ugliest dogs are let out, and Maxine sneaks out, and Billy finds her in a house full of boys and an 18 year old washed out streamer who lies to him about it. Next thing Billy knows he's waking up in a half-destroyed kitchen with an empty syringe two feet from him, car gone, and not a single person in sight.

On Monday, Harrington's face looks bad. It's been a while since Billy's felt this guilty about putting a bruise on someone's face, but he knows he lost it a little, that night. Went too far. He doesn't remember most of it, and Billy doesn't know if that's from whatever drugs Maxine shot him with or from just- anger. Remorse just clogs his throat and he can't breathe. He decides to stay the fuck away from Harrington.

And then Tommy H. just has to take pictures of them, make a damn video, post it to Instagram and TikTok and tag them both. Of course it goes viral.

Billy spends a full week in a state of panic. He fully expects Harrington to press charges now. 

(Steve, similarly, is panicking. He streams family friendly content now. He can't just get into fights. He can't stream until his face heals as it is.)

Billy feels even more like shit when his follower count goes up and his account sees more activity than it has since the move. Like it's a reward for beating up Harrington, or something. It's not right. 

(The same happens to Steve.)

So Billy has an idea. He wants to apologize to Harrington. Wants to make it up to him. Maybe he can help him get his popularity back, get his channel to how it used to be, somehow. And if it keeps his own account alive, well. 

It takes a little convincing, but Steve agrees. Dustin is trying to get him into his nerdy games, but Steve isn't sure he likes them. Steve's been having a hard time, since the second round with the Upside Down. He can't sleep, can't focus, Nancy went off with Jonathan. So maybe he wants a distraction, okay? Maybe he wants something that isn't life or death.

So Billy and Steve start a partnership of sorts. Steve films a couple of youtube videos playing co-op games with Billy. Branches out to TikTok, maybe. Starts bringing Billy to his streams, at first just to hang out and then to take over and play some stuff. Billy manages to burn down Steve's entire 9th generation legacy mansion on The Sims in 30 minutes. Billy and Steve play Dead By Daylight together, and Steve feels increasingly comfortable playing horror games with Billy around. 

It's working so well for Steve, he decides he wants to pay it back. So he teaches Billy to ice skate so they can make content for Billy's TikTok. Steve takes Billy sledding when it snows. Billy films Steve falling asleep in unlikely places during the day and not waking up when Billy piles things on him. 

Steve hunts down and finds Billy's old surfing board that Neil sold and buys it back.

At some point, Steve becomes Billy's best friend. If he could- If they could, Billy would- They could be more, Billy thinks. But they're all over the internet, and Billy doesn't think Neil watches their content, but word can get back to him really easily. People like to speculate as it is. It's a small fucking town. 

The climax would be, of course, getting Billy out of Neil's house. Getting Neil arrested. So Billy can be free.

(Feel free to explore and play with this AU as you like!!)

[joseopher]

Let's talk about how Callum desperately wants to be liked by Tristan in the "what we had was significant" scene.

"Liked" is perhaps not the word considering that he is partly trying to upset him with the whole Rhodes situation. Yes, he's presenting Tristan with the fact that Libby needs to set off a nuclear bomb because he promised he would find out how to get her back buuuuuut he is also presenting the knowledge specifically to Tristan, with no interest to present it to anyone else.

And thinks this:

"Which was thoroughly impossible. A comedy of errors to the highest degree. And this was who Tristan had chosen over Callum! This was what he had done, and in the murky plumbing of Callum’s allegedly nonexistent heart, he hoped that Tristan suffered for it."

This is punishment. This is jealousy. This is also a cry for attention.

The main reason I'm making this post is that Callum is constantly applying techniques from "How to Win Friends and Influence People":

"For example, one way to make people like you was to smile, which Callum winningly employed now."

Why is he applying this?

A) For the irony

B) Because he is a petty bitch

C) Because he is a sad lonely man that connected his sense of love to Tristan and then was betrayed by him and still longs for his attention

D) Because he wants to be liked by Tristan specifically despite how he says he doesn't want to be liked in book 1 (perhaps he wants more complicated emotions than liked, he wants to be remembered, he wants to matter to someone)

E) All of the above

E IS WHAT I THINK THE ANSWER IS! LISTEN THESE CHARACTERS' EMOTIONS ARE COMPLICATED!

Tell me doesn't want Tristan's attention after reading this line:

"And yet, I am the only one in this house who’s been any help to you at all, Tristan, so you’re welcome."

It's not only that he wants to be "liked" by Tristan. It's mixed up with several other emotions as well but wanting to be "liked" is also there.

The punishment theme is there as well mixed in with bitterness of the world, Callum knew he shouldn't have gotten attached but he did anyway:

"This was just the world. You trusted people, you loved them, you offered them the dignity of your time and the intimacy of your thoughts and the frailty of your hope and they either accepted it and cared for it or they rejected it and destroyed it and in the end, none of it was up to you. This was just what you got. Heartbreak was inevitable. Disappointment assured."

Then Callum claims he's fine for no reason, which just further emphasizes he's not:

"Honestly, Callum was doing just fine with his grief."

His grief over being betrayed? Being almost murdered? Grief over losing Tristan?

Likely all of them.

Then he admits that Tristan is correct about the "what we had was significant" speech:

"Mostly, though, Callum wanted Tristan to suffer profoundly for every honest word out of his mouth."

This speaks for itself.

I will conclude this with Callum's parting words to Tristan:

"Callum exhaled. And smiled. People did not like to be contradicted, said Dale Carnegie, master of influencing, apparently. It was best not to criticize, even when people were wrong about silly things like where they had placed their loyalties.

'Good luck,' said Callum. 'With everything. Hope it works out between you and Rhodes.'"

WHY IS HE APPLYING THESE TACTICS??

A) For the irony

B) Because he is a petty bitch— *GETS SHOT BEFORE I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS FOR 100K WORDS*

[justaduckarts]

I wanna try to compliment the SH fic in the least spoilery way possible but i will most likely fail but WOOO TIME FOR A RANT

Starting off, Star Holder

Everyone is so worried that Eclipse or Pluto will manipulate them when Aurelia has already done that. She's the reason why they are so traumatized and meek and so easily gullible. And now here they are, in between several gods while they are all pulling on different limbs in different directions trying to tell them to go their way and to not listen to the others. I don't blame Star Holder for being so god damn anxious about every single conversation. Every conversation could literally end up in a war if they say something wrong.

Lunar!

That cheeky fuck. I love him so much hes such an asshole(/aff). He's just a silly guy doing silly things and he might want to kill you but it's okay because he's just a silly guy! His back story is tragic and perfectly explains why he is the way he is. I also love how open he is to his plans. Is he using you? Yes, but at least he's honest about it. A true gentleman.

Moon

God damn. That's all I can say. Just- damn.

Okay but in all seriousness Moon is great. Maybe not great to others (after hearing what Pluto said about the star-) but he's a great character. Very anti-social and quiet but he can have fun if he wants to. *quiet chanting* Moon in a dress! Moon in a dress! Sorry, my demons. Anyway. He's definitely trying his best, but he's not very good at it. E for effort, F for execution.

Sun. Dear lord Sun-

Again, he's trying. He just has no fucking clue what he's doing. He's incredibly oblivious it's almost painful. I don't know if I want to give him a hug or slap him. I could do both. Hug then slap. That'd be nice. But anyway, he's very interesting but after learning more about his past I just keep thinking "hypocrite". Talking about how Eclipse is trying to manipulate Star Holder (which he may have at first) only for the star, but he made the star for the purpose of controlling his own brother. That doesn't seem fucked up to him I guess. Of course there's reasonings but it's still so incredibly wrong. But I think that's enough about Sun.

Pluto

Oh how I love her. She seems like the only one (besides Eclipse) who truly cares about Star Holder and doesn't want to use them. The moment Sun and Moon found out that the star was growing they immediately jumped to "we need to know how to use it." Though, Eclipse also seems to have a similar thought process, so he's not much better. Is it possible that Pluto is using Star Holder? Maybe. But lets be honest, so many gods are trying to use them that you can barely even tell which ones are actually sincere of their promise that they care. She is so lovely though. I love how she is actually trying to give them the choice of using the star for good and not just using it to control people (as it was originally intended) She seems genuinely good and it'd be devastating to find out that she isn't... concrete turning noises to stare at my angst loving self. Anyway.

Eclipse

He's my babygirl and no one can tell me otherwise. He is a pathetic traumatized stray cat that everyone thinks has rabies but is actually just starving and wanting love and affection. Okay! But in all seriousness! I love him. The more we find out about his past the more we realize "maybe the good guys aren't as good as we thought." They accused him of murder and didn't even let him explain. Sun didn't even try to use his gift? Although, Lunar did say that it's harder to use the gift when upset so I guess that makes sense. But I'm still annoyed cause I'm a whiny bitch. They seem to just never give Eclipse any slack or any benefit of the doubt. Though, we still don't know his entire story, so there is still likely something that changed things a lot (besides Moon's mother's death.)

I'm gonna stop here since I could go on forever. TBH all my thoughts of the characters could be totally wrong in my perception of them. If that's the case, I formally apologize, I don't think much as is so when I do it's not always the best thing. BUT YEAH. THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS. If you want more there is plenty where this comes from just say the word and I'll flood your ask box again with an entire tangent.

Anyway, this is Birdcage signing off dramatic bow

skips away like a goofy goober

Hello!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thank you so much this was so sweet. I love hearing people's thoughts and theories on the story and acvsgvsgvdth MAN. I don't want to give too much away. I will say that things are about to get interesting *looks at Saturday's chapter*

Anyway, thank you so so much!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I love getting asks so feel free to share your thoughts whenever (I may take some time to reply).

[bigskydreaming]

What about Magneto and Xavier?

I am existentially opposed to centering Charles Xavier in anything ever even a little bit and accidentally is no excuse either, so.....can't relate.

Still, if I WERE to entertain the thought I would say I don't really think this would be an example of that which I would ever go to personally, because I know X-Men narratives and adaptations tend to kinda...TRY to frame their opposition or conflicting roles as having the kind of basis I'm talking about here, but....eh. Frankly, I don't see them as having anything close to shared origins so much as they're more a case of "so before most of the other characters were born, they decided to be besties based on a vaguely shared principle of wanting what was best for their mutual community, but then they never agreed about anything besides that or ever again, the end."

Like. They have shared MOMENTS of history, even shared HISTORY, certainly, but they come from very different places, have very different inciting elements for their personal character journeys, different traumas, different formative elements, different worldviews, etc....and all of that colors every interaction they've ever had and are the basis of their many disagreements and points of divergence.....not any one single decision to just go in different directions in their reactions/responses to one shared or parallel trauma/startpoint/etc.

But anyway, as I said, I decline to participate too much on any musings involving Charles Xavier on the grounds of I just don't care to, honestly.

...Plus, if anything, I think Charles and Cassandra would be the better example here. Okay, obviously not in any way that's meant to be taken seriously, but like.

"They started out with the shared origin of cohabitating a womb, and their points diverged when he strangled her with his umbilical cord and she spent the next several decades haunting him for it, until she accumulated enough Hater Points to reimburse them for a psychic resurrection feat and upgraded to making his life miserable in real time from then on."

Like. Objectively - and I mean I am of course quite happy to acknowledge my Xavier bias at any point for any reason ever so maybe that word doesn't TECHNICALLY apply here, but kill the cop in your brain telling you that matters, it doesn't, obviously - I'm just saying, objectively that's just a much more amusing case of this particular trope, IMO. Even if its Comic Book Levels of Absurdity most other characters could only dream of ever reaching.

Charles: Enough, Cassandra. This has gone on too long. Let me be the one to end it. I am sorry for what I did to you all those years ago. Genuinely. From the bottom of my heart.

Cassandra: That was literally the one time in our lives I had any respect for you, and now you're going to take that from me too? Bitch.

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

some of Seth's coworkers/work friends at SVB.

Irma and Bijou are part of the corps, not soloists, and they're pretty recent hires, though similar in age to Seth.

Seth, Casey, Mark and Saleha make up half of the soloists. There are two other male and two other female soloists who I have not bothered naming or describing lol (plus the principal dancers) —these are the dancers Seth hangs out with the most.

Irma!! They're from Brazil! She's genderfluid! Usually based on presentation. As mentioned, a recent corps hire, and enjoys quirky and fun things like bright colors and weird clip-on earrings and stuff! obv that's limited when actually onstage, but for practice stuff anything goes as long as it's not dangerous or whatever. Sometimes Irma binds but only open-chest taping, not like a solid binder. esp when dancing. Is a very versatile dancer, with an energetic, bouncy, bubbly feeling, w/ emphasis on legwork. but again. downplayed when doing group dances. (but hey, danse des petits cygnes... or supporting dancer for the trepak or something...)

Irma's only like, 20, so one of the younger ones.

Bijou. She's not from France, she's American. Dapper butch lol. Has been dancing since childhood but started learning male roles and techniques in her teens or early 20s. "She/her or whatever" = she/her but will respond to like, "sir," or "he/him." Neat freak perfectionist.

She's a very controlled and precise dancer, and very fast and responsive, but can be stiff, or too sharp or severe. She's also not very good at pointe and doesn't really practice it anymore cause she mostly does men's roles but sometimes... there aren't enough men's roles. (SVB has expanded the way they do stuff by reintroducing partnered and co-ed group dances tho so... some leniency)

Me, crying as I try to make sure this guy doesn't look like Flash—Mark!! Short king. Mark is the shortest male dancer at SVB, which mostly favors taller dancers, so he kinda sticks out. Plus he's grumpy and has a permanent resting bitch face... and a slight midwest twang...

Guess what his nickname is:

Anyway Mark is a couple years older than Seth and takes dancing very seriously, may or may not be Seth's ex (I'm still deciding...) and tends to get roles which are villainous or threatening or involve crazy jumps because he is... intimidating and despite being 5'5" and shorter than all of the other men, he can jump higher than at least half of them lol —AND he can lift every other dancer in the company, including Seth, directly over his head.

A master of mid-air spins as well as any and all lifts, throws and catches, can do pointe (not WELL but he can do it because he insists on understanding exactly what the women he dances with are doing, and he isn't insecure about his masculinity so he doesn't care what other people might think) He is purposeful, intense, precise, and powerful, but on the flip side, he's not very versatile and lacks the kind of grace that is needed for like, princely roles or whatever. So he gets EXTREMELY typecast as scary characters except for the rare occasion he's put in drag to do bad pointe work. (cinderella's younger stepsister for example)

Saleha~ the shortest dancer at SVB, period. She... also sticks out like a sore thumb for obvious reasons as a 5'4" hijabi lady surrounded by people who are 5'11", but they can usually make her costumes work, especially for soloist stuff where being noticeable is a bonus. She and Seth are pals and def bond over costume stuff since they both have to get a lot of their costumes modified, albeit for very different reasons. She's Malaysian and came to the states as a kid.

Her dancing style is very light and airy, so she's good for fairies and flowers and phantoms and that kind of stuff. Sylph-like and dainty with crazy good balance. She's also done the stepsister (or is going to? that might actually be a future role not a past role...), like I noted on the drawing. Normally she'd be a weird choice for the younger stepsister in Cinderella since her whole thing is being floaty and graceful, but she's capable of utilizing her strengths to put on an air of exaggerated, flamboyant femininity and fake bad balance where she is constantly teetering around without ever falling, so... she can do it. (vs Mark whose take would be more aggressive and purposefully clunky)

I think she would be good as Giselle.

She's very friendly :>

and of course i've already posted Seth and Casey before:

I just copy pasted and flipped their head from an older ref I drew and slapped it onto the existing body for this since it felt like they were so much less detailed than the others (this is, to be fair, because this sketch was only as a height ref originally so it wasn't as detailed as Casey...) 😂

Seth is of course the tallest dancer at the entire company, often gets relegated to roles "en travesti" which annoys them, so the swan role is like... hell yeah!! and then they get blasted by magic—i mean very scientific geomagnetic waves and get superhuman powers. lol.

Casey—Seth's... boyfriend? Dance partner. Prince Siegfried. He's actually slated to get promoted to principal but at the time I have Seth get their powers, they're both soloists. Casey's a theater guy so he's good at imbuing acting into his dancing, and he's very fluid and graceful, so even the people who hate him have to admit he's very skilled and professional when presented with the evidence (seeing him dance). Plus he's charming and charismatic 😂

He's a very good all-around dancer with a lot of elegance in his movements, and he can do almost anything (though it will be more or less work/difficulty of course) as long as he has enough time to figure it out and get in the zone. Like, a scary aggressive villain is harder for him to do but he CAN do it. He's just better at being a handsome prince or romantic interest than he is at being like... a creepy wizard lol but give him some time... he'll get it done.

[andthatisnotfake]

Finally rewatching episode 3x03 of Young Royals, comments after the read more.

Whose phone is that? What happened to Wille's black phone? Did he borrow someone else's phone for whatever reason? 😅 Also, when I first watched this I could swear he'd thrown the phone on the ground, but no, he just kicks some pebbles.

Kristina going from "I'm fine" to "I might die" in under 5 seconds, woman, please!

Also, I totally understand that she's suffering, but the amount of extra pressure she just put on Wille's shoulders, which already had a lot of pressure, is unfathomable. I think seeing your mom suffer is one of the hardest things for almost any kid, so Wille was so so strong to keep it together (as much as possible) and reassure his mom that he'd be fine. He lied, of course, but that's what he needed to say at that moment.

Simon saying Linda wouldn't understand that he can also fuck up... relatable. I don't think that was why he didn't tell her, but still, I get it.

The "housefather" might be even more useless than Ludvig, my god.

Simon's helmet hair is adorable, but it makes him look even sadder. 😔

The look of realization on Simon's face when Wille says getting negative comments is the way it'll always be for him and those around him... Boy suddenly understood both what Wille had been through his entire life and that the only way out would be not to date Wille.

Those bitches making fun of Simon's song, how dare them. I wonder if Wille also noticed. By the way he looks at Simon, I think he did.

I fucking love Boris.

August saying he doesn't see a reason to be nice if he won't be forgiven reminds me of that meme "I don't know to explain to you that you should care about other people".

I just noticed it's one of the comments that says people like Simon because he's dating Wille. That's where he took it from. But also, Simon sweetie, 127k followers? Why didn't you make your Instagram private as soon as the video leaked?!

I also hadn't noticed some comments were so outright threating. I was focused on the one with the address and missed the rest.

I don't really get why Vincent says that Wille had already taken a stand. When? When he admitted it was him in the video? Is speaking the truth taking a stand? Or is being queer taking a stand? 🙄

Simon saying he didn't want to be anywhere absolutely broke my heart. 😭

It's been talked about here, but I love how they always show people cleaning up the school and the Palace.

Wille wasn't paying an ounce of attention to the class. Honestly, with all these kids have been through, I'm really impressed Simon and Sara didn't fail the year (Wille too, but they'd never fail him anyway).

Simon and Wille pretending they were justing making up a second before when the inspectors enter the music room will never not be funny.

The choir was rehearsing the school anthem... 👀

The fake lunch was so awkward 😅

Vincent is an asshole, but the truth is several other kids would be thinking the same thing, August included. And unfortunately there are plenty of Vincents in the world.

Wille looks at the girls' table when Felice is talking about her testimony. He 100% heard that.

VERY pointed song choice, Micke. Also, Frida can sing!

Micke "av" Eriksson was so funny. 🤣

Ooof, I had forgotten that August's dad was also a drug addict. 😢

August's audacity of even mentioning that he'd been mad at Sara for going to the police!

August telling Sara that she's she only one he can talk to, just like Wille said to Simon... 🙃

August saying he doesn't want to be the reason why Sara isn't going back to school, I- HE WASN'T?! Or at least not the only one. Unless he meant because they'd been together and the consequences that had had, but I don't think that's what he meant. Your giving yourself too much relevance, boo.

Oh, cool the baking scene is star- oh, it's over.

I'm almost sure Mimmi put flour(?) in Felicia's by accident and their reactions are true. 😅

Simon losing his joy in singing is so sad. 😔 Wille looked sad too when he said that. At least for 2 seconds, before he switched to horny.

How did Micke manage to arrive home and fall asleep so quickly?! Sara was there for two minutes.

That sex scene was so beautifully done. Porn with feelings indeed.

I love the way the evidence the different ways the Hillerska students and the Bjärstad people are spending their May 1st.

The way Simon twists his mouth for a second before he shares the post... He did consider whether or not to do it, but did it anyway.

Simon's Instagram stories show Ayub, Rosh and "mandapand(?)". Who is that?!

Vincent mocking Simon by saying "equal pay for men and women" as though that's ridiculous, I'm this 🤏🏻 close to murdering him.

On Simon's stories, there's Felice, Valter (looks like his name really starts with V and not W) and someone else I could not identify.

The way Wille's first reaction when he sees the picture is a little smile. ☺️

How many checked pants does Simon own? 🤔

Poor baby, so scared at end. 😭

[wyrmskulls]

I havnt recovered from the Caz fight yet. BUT

here are some genuine thoughts on Astarion from my- knew nothing of baldurs gate before playing run: (from me the Ace with no sense of self preservation)

"Oh great a sexy vamp man- bet friend XYX is all over that, they are romanceable, right? like dragon age?"🧛‍♂️

".... that 'don't touch me' sounded too real.... hope im wrong"

" I mean if we are cool with Shar worshippers and devil pacts why not a vamp, join the club buddy."

"he is a cagey little fuck I think I'll go after him this play through love his little faces"

"I'm not into pain, thinking this was a bad choice" chains and whips to not excite Tav XD

"I mean maybe it's the years of slavery and not sexual trauma???" 🙏

"noooo, I mean of course the sexy vamp wants to fuck, I probly have to- to get more of his story...." proceed to worry stupidly about unskippable sex scenes and noises for no reason (you can press x any time to get to the next thing / dialog)

get propositioned again at party.... "maybe this relationship won't work out, he's way to thirsty least there wasn't another sex scene lol dun worry buddy, I'll help you murder that guy that hurt you, just can't keep up with the horny XD"

"so I just feed him bad guys and tell him he is pretty? yup that checks out"

act 2

Start working on wyll, he seems like a cool guy... "whoa bud, is this you first romance scene.... by saying yes to a dance... feels icky cause I know sex happens at some point, like some entitled jerk at a bar, least astarion was real upfront about it" ( in hind sight this was unfair to wyll, but everyone was being so horny and the only scene I had was astarions so I drew some incorrect conclusions with wyll being a 'good guy' asshole)

"I mean we has evidence that deals with devils are bad.... or is it demons... anyways I support you in a friend way, getting raphel to Facebook stalk your abuser to make sure he not still pineing after you is OK with me."

Got his Act 2 scene "OHNooooooo I was right it was a sexual trauma 'don't touch me....' ohhhh noooooo. he didn't wanna fuck either????? baby boy, you never gotta sex again if you dun wanna, we can hug forever!" cried a while ngl

"look here blood witch- no means no, if your house wasn't destroyed, I'd destroy it myself."😈

"i mean he said he kills kids, so it's ok to kill him, then raphy boy will tell us if you back is bad news or really bad news <3"

"It's really bad news..... so no big astarion lover of cuddles l, will help you kill the guy who ruined your life. that's what romantic partners do. we kiss and nothing else and I will murder people to keep doing that <3" pondering an evil play through honesly

"he was so upset when Tav died in battle.... like doesn't he know rez scrolls are a thing? it's ok Tavs gonna live forever.... not sure how we will figuer that out" researches dnd lore to find several solutions XD

"Gale bud. friend. pal. I care about you and your life. your ex is shitty for asking you to do this, but also if you do blow up you'll take us all with you.... and even if you don't, #1 priority over there will be back under vamp thrall so this is a no go, put your shirt back on."🙃

act 3

found a cliff in the camp before act 3 with a song that made me cry again it is for sure astarions "wtf dude I was emotionally stable now what have you done"

"circus lady, here are all my loves deepest secrets- oh no she's a shapeshifter???? oops, it's ok love we will kill her too why not" No one can know how hurt you are but meeeeeee 😋

"a statue of my boyfriend in camp don't mind if I do~☆ aww now he has a halo so everyone can see he is a good boy who totally doesn't cause me to murder people and would never murder anyone himself" 😇

"Astarion NO, we are not gonna kill a bunch of other spawn just cause you are scared. I get it, and you don't have time for therapy but trust me that not gonna feel great in a few hundred years"

"ooooo blood bitch is back and you fucked up. look at this boy standing up for himself - yes that's right take us to your private house so we can kill you at our leisure.... man oh man I used to have morals now I got Astarion."

*****

and now I'm tired XD

[navree]

What do you think of Jaehaerys the old?

I'm mixed on Jaehaerys, actually. Unlike most other people in my corner of ASOIAF/HOTD fandom, I'm actually not that anti Targ ("they're colonizers" white on white crime doesn't bother me in any way whatsoever and also the Targs won that round fair and square and if you use that rhetoric I better be seeing essays on Nymeria the colonist given that the Rhoynar were much more of a traditional colonial force in Dorne to the point where they feel mildly analogous to the pilgrims and also it's all fictional and not real so who cares). So my issues with ole JJ are more about the kind of person he was than just being a Targaryen king.

I'm willing to give him props. For one, he had a hard early life, beyond becoming king quite young, the entire reason he was king at all was because both of his brothers were gruesomely killed by his bloodthirsty and psychopathic uncle, and his mother and sisters were at various points prisoners of Maegor and Visenya, and at one point he was a prisoner of Visenya himself before she died and he was able to flee with Alyssa and Alysanne. It's why I'm more lenient than most on his anger at Saera following her scandal, because while it's scummy that he's angry at her for exploring her sexuality in a way he never would have been if this was one of his sons (but also for being a bitch towards his fool that was the main instigating thing before it went off the rails), Saera responding to that with "I should get three husbands because Maegor had six wives" to someone whose older brothers were 1) eaten by Maegor's dragon and 2) tortured to death by Maegor's people on Maegor's orders because Maegor was angry at Jaehaerys (having a relative die due to your actions is always going to be an emotional mindfuck, it's why Louis Philippe makes me so sad) is monumentally stupid, I'm not surprised that he was incredibly furious that she'd be so callous about Maegor after everything Maegor put him through. I also think that Jaehaerys was a genuinely good administrator, along with being an excellent politician (say what you want about it but the Doctrine of Exceptionalism was a stroke of genius), and I have a soft spot for good politicians and rulers who are actually good at their jobs and are actually capable of and interesting in governance, not just Being The King. Jaehaerys was, in fact, able to bring stability and prosperity to the realm, he did basically instill a pax Targaryeana that likely would have lasted a really long time if his successor wasn't an idiot. And as someone who maintains that birthright monarchy is a scam, I'm fine with Jaehaerys making the decision of his succession the most democratic version of power transferal Westeros has ever seen (just wish it hadn't been so sexist).

Because yeah, my main issue with Jaehaerys is his appalling sexism. He treated nearly all of the women in his life pretty badly, while I'm willing to give him something of a pass for Saera, he's not that great with any of his other daughters, or any of his sisters, reducing them oftentimes to just their value as marriage material and broodmares (like when he said that it didn't matter that his firstborn child, a daughter, wasn't his heir because she was gonna marry his son and be queen anyway, motherfucker you know that queen consort and queen regnant are two different things). Literally forcing Daella to get married despite what appear to be some severe developmental delays and also just the fact that she did not want to be married is also just so gross, and just in general constantly having Alysanne be pregnant when she didn't particularly want to be is just Not It, dude, especially as she got older and these pregnancies visibly got harder and harder on her. And while his administration was good and his overall treatment of the realm was good, what tangible positives changes did he instill for the actual people? Things like wanting to abolish First Night and pushing for the Widow's Law were Alysanne's initiatives from her women's courts, that's why they're called Queen Alysanne's laws specifically. And personality wise, as a character, he's dull. Other than the early life stuff when he was a prince and then a young king, Jaehaerys does nothing for me. He just feels incredibly bland as a person, and while being a horrible fictional man is forgivable crime, being a boring one isn't. That's a death penalty offense. Ya basic Jaehaerys.

[sarascamander]

Book review: King of Ruins

I just finished this book and first of all, let me say that this book hurt me. It hurt me to my soul. I rarely read books that involved war exactly because I know how much the casualty and the suffering the characters would go through would pain me but something drew me to this book so I read it anyway. I don't know whether I regret that or not because my heart still hurts 😭

The ending when Jarael, Atalia and Koren get caught just break me because i just want them to be safe. If they're not safe at least I would rather them die rather than to suffer under that bastard prince. I'm playing for them to be fine in book two. Please be fine they're my babies 😭

I'm gonna rate the characters:

1) Jarael Sela, the father and the leader and DILF = 10000000000/10

Jarael, the man you are. He's literally the best father anyone could even hope for. This man love his children so much. He love and adore his wife, he love his kingdom and the people in it. He suffered before and he's so strong and tired but trying his best and I love him. The ending for him... My heart ache, I'm telling you. He deserve SO MUCH MORE. 😭😭

2) Shiloh Sela. Mother, wife, leader and MILF = 1000000/10

Words can't describe how strong this woman is after what she's been through. She's a great mother and a fierce woman and I have mad respect for her. ♥️♥️ I'm so worry about her in the next book though. How much pain would she feel when she knew what was happening to her husband and children????? 😭😭

3) Epher Sela (my husband) = 💯/10

He has a severe oldest brother syndrome but in a good way because he's protective of his siblings and family, because he is wise and strong and feels so much responsibility on those big fine shoulders. He is definitely his father's son.

4) Koren Sela (I'm such a whore for him) = 💯💯/10

The second son with an impeccable sense of humour and charm, I will always love you. With all seriousness though, Koren uses humour as his coping mechanism (but he's genuinely so funny, every word that comes out of his mouth is gold). I was praying the whole time he went to the war: LORD. LET. MY. HUSBAND. COME. HOME. SAFE. My prayer was not answered.

5) Atalia Sela (I want her to step on me 🛐) = 10/10

I was icky with her first because the whole "she was one of the boys" irked me in general, but my baby bloomed. She slayed and served so hard and I want to give her the biggest hug ever. She can talk and act all macho and tough as she wants but I know what you are, Atalia! She was just a scared little girl in the end who faced war for the first time, who sought comfort from her father and cried at the first man she was forced to kill. But no matter how terrified she was, she would die fighting for her family and kingdom. Truly a lioness.

6) Ofeer Sela (bitch in denial) = 0/10

Since the first time we met her I already want to bash her head against a damn wall. GIRL 👏🏻YOU 👏🏻ARE👏🏻 SO 👏🏻BLIND👏🏻 AND👏🏻 UNGRATEFUL👏🏻. I understand if she doesn't feel like she belongs in her family or felt like her father doesn't love her as much as he loves the others since she was a bastard but why is girly hating on her family so much???? Her mother and father who literally do nothing but love her?? And not shy to show it??? Her siblings whose never act as if she was anything but family??? Even if her siblings did bully her a little (but literally it was all siblings teasing, like messing with her hair) it was because they reacted with the way YOU treated THEM. You called your youngest sister a weepy bitch because she was upset about her dying dog and basically hoped that she'd die 💀💀.

She is her family's biggest hater for no reason at all. She was so desperate to have a nice life that she abandoned her family and wished the worst on them and when that actually happened she suddenly grew a conscience.

It was nice to see that she actually cared about her family but by that time it was too late. I can see her redemption arc but it needs to be big for me to actually like her after everything.

7) Maya Sela (sweet summer child) = 7/10

The baby of the family. We don't see much of her in this book because she's too young and doesn't play much role in this war. But I can see the potential of her growing into a more important role in the following books especially since she has a strong ability that may be their salvation. She just needs to learn to control them. But personality wise she's really a sweet innocent girl and I can feel her youth through the pages.

Can I just say I love the Sela family so much. Their dynamic and love for each other is so precious please let them be fine. They need to be a family again after this and see each other and tease each other and just BE HAPPY AGAIN. 😭😭

"Koren always thought this one was his." She hefted the toy. "I'd get so angry, twist his arm, and steal it from him. I made him cry, even though he's two years older."

She blinked tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry I did that. I don't know why I did it. I wish I could go back now, could give Koren the toy, tell him it's his soldier. I'm so scared I'll never see the boys again, never see Ofeer and Maya and Mother. I just want to go back to those old days. When we were happy."

PLEASE

He fought for those he loved. A noble father. A wise mother. For Koren, a brother with a ready smile and kind heart. For Atalia, strong, brave, fragile Atalia. For Ofeer, broken, haunted, pained, still seeking light in her world of darkness. For Maya, sweetest child, innocent yet stronger than she knew. For a brother buried under the tree, who had shone his light for but a day, whose memory would always be with him.

There they are. The people I hate. The man who never loved me like he loved his true children. The siblings who always looked down at me. The people I love. The people who love me.

"Brother, when I was very young, I remember thinking you were so old, so strong. You're only two years older, but I thought you were more like Father than me and the girls. A righteous, wise man. I looked up to you so much. You were my hero." Koren sighed. "I didn't realize what a complete and utter twat you are."

Epher rolled his eyes. "Yes, you certainly looked up to me when you and Atalia kept sneaking into the bathhouse when I was washing."