Just got to s13 in my rewatch and i never noticed before that when Sam’s alone in the bunker w Jack watching him try to use his magic (i think 13x3) he’s reading The Drama Of The Gifted Child which is book about discovering your true self after childhood trauma and repressed anger and the knee jerk instinct to become numb to cope with abuse etc and like…. I love that.
I love that he’s aware that he needs to heal his inner child if he’s going to raise this kid who everyone in the world will hate (especially his own brother, who Jack already looks up to and tries to mimic). And its beautiful seeing him confront Dean for telling Jack he would be the one to kill him when the time came (and it’s heart wrenching to watch Jack sitting on the floor behind the corner like a kid trying to listen to his parents in a screaming match while also staying out of sight to keep himself safe). But…
I also hate that we only see a glimpse of the book’s cover. Like I had to pause in order to read the title. And that’s ALL they give him in the later seasons to show that he’s struggling with all of this. With Lucifer being out, with trying to raise the antichrist to not be the antichrist (which feels strangely displacing, like Jack’s himself from 9 years ago and he’s in the role of Dean but trying desperately to do a better job of making sure the kid knows he’s loved), and losing all of the same people that Dean lost but not being able to grieve for them quite yet. He has soooo much on his plate (as per ush) and the writers refuse to give him any depth about it. Any trauma response other than a clenched jaw and scared eyes. They’re just like Look! He’s reading a book about childhood trauma! Can’t you see he’s traumatized?! and then only show it for a split second.
This is not to say that that’s a bad way to cope at all, again I think it’s amazing that he is reading this book and you can see that it IS helping him - but only if you squint. Its very subtle. Like he isn’t allowed to have upsetting trauma responses anymore, he’s too old for that, he isn’t the baby anymore, Jack is. And that’s really what breaks my heart - it’s the treatment of the (100+ years of) trauma from the cage and from the wall in his mind and from losing his soul as something he should be over by them. He’s a big boy. He can read a book about it, he’ll be okay.
Anyway I’m frustrated by the lack of care for Sam’s healing throughout but especially s12 forward
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Blind Date?
Dean/Castiel
Charlie and Sam
General Audiences
1.3k
Thank you to @tobythewise for the beta ♥
Charlie and Sam scheme together to set up Dean and Cas on a blind date. (au: No Supernatural)
- - - -
"Come on, Dean! You haven't been out in months!" Sam could hear himself whining but desperate times and all that. "What have you got to lose?"
Dean huffed and obviously tried to avoid looking into Sam's big brown puppy dog eyes. Sam had been practising just for this.
"No, dude." Dean slashed a defiant hand through the air. "It's not gonna happen!"
"But, Deeeaaan…"
"No!" Dean started to stalk away down the corridor to his room.
"He's just your type!" Sam smirked when Dean stopped in his tracks.
"What?" Dean's face had turned pink as he slowly turned to face Sam and he gulped. "He?" He
squeaked.
Sam was speechless for a second. Surely Dean didn't think he hadn't noticed his own brother's proclivities.
"Yeah? He's friends with Charlie-"
"Charlie's friends with everyone in town." Dean interjected, and Sam ignored him.
"-single, your age, Charlie says he's dreamy."
Dean shook his head, obviously sweeping past the fact he'd basically just come out, and turned away again.
"Dark hair, tall, blue eyes…?" Sam continued desperately and Dean stopped again. Sam watched him reluctantly take a few steps towards him, interest clear on his face and Sam knew he had him.
"Yeah? He funny? Smart? What does he do?" Dean asked with narrowed eyes.
"Uh, don't know if he's funny but he must be smart because he teaches at KU."
Dean's face did an odd little twitch thing then went blank. Sam had no idea his brother went for the academic type but it's not the first time Dean has surprised him and it won't be the last.
"Sounds like he's way outta my league, Sammy." Dean patted him on the shoulder and moved to leave again.
Sam couldn't believe this. Dean is an engineer, owner of his own business, who not only raised Sam, raised him to be kind, polite and a damn lawyer. He didn't give himself enough credit for the things he's achieved. Time to pull out the hail Mary.
"I'll pay!" Sam called out. Dean didn't stop again but he threw his hands into the air and sighed.
"Fine! Someplace nice!" Dean agreed and Sam immediately pulled out his phone to make a reservation at the nicest place in their small town and let Charlie know his part of the mission was accomplished.
💙💚
"Cas?"
"Yes?"
Charlie kept her eyes glued to the screen as her thumbs danced over the controller.
"When was the last time you went on a date?"
"Wednesday," Cas intoned flatly, also keeping his attention on Rainbow Road.
"Oh, haha, very funny!" Charlie giggled. Cas was great, really great but he didn't exactly do normal humany type things. He'd been raised pretty isolated by a bunch of assholes so when Charlie had met the weirdo, she'd taken him under her own weird wing and adopted him like every good extrovert should do. "Would you like to?"
"With you? No." Cas replied and Charlie snorted inelegantly.
"No, I mean, like, a blind date maybe?" Charlie asked carefully as she narrowly avoided a thrown green shell.
"Still no."
"Come on, dude. He's awesome! He's smart, funny, owns his own engineering business…" She violently twisted her controller as if it would help her turn a tight bend. "I think you'd like him."
"Is he hot?" Cas asked bluntly and Charlie turned to look at him with her mouth open. She ignored her Princess Peach character flying over the edge of the road in favor of staring at him, gobsmacked.
He didn't look back until the race was over then he smirked at her.
"What? I can be shallow sometimes too, you know. I'm not looking for a boyfriend but a lay might be nice." He shrugged and Charlie had to mentally realign for a second.
"He's tall, pretty enough to turn even my head, green eyes, big shoulders…um…what else do guys like? Nice arms?" Charlie tried but Cas didn't look impressed.
"Does he know he's being set up?" Cas raised his eyebrow and she knew she looked guilty as fuck.
"Not yet." she said quietly, "but his little brother is pretty good at persuading him."
"Oh, that's wonderful. A blind date against their will," Cas raised a very sarcastic thumbs up and smiled sardonically.
Charlie fidgeted, time to bring out the blue shell.
"I'll pay!" Charlie blurted out and Cas rolled his eyes.
"Fine." He sighed. "I'll go but you have to drive me. I don't want to leave my car there overnight." Cas said then surprised her again by waggling his eyebrows at her.
"Fine." Her phone dinged with a message from Sam telling her he'd done his bit, closely followed by reservation details. She huffed at the restaurant because it was the best in town, Dean must have really put up a fight.
A few days later, Charlie pulled up to the main door of the restaurant in her little yellow beetle and watched, amused, as Cas unfolded himself out onto the sidewalk.
"Alright, Cas. Leave this on the table so he knows who you are." She handed him a small hardback book of Keats. "I'm going to hang back a little bit, just in case he's bailed. Text me if you need rescuing, although I really don't think you will. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She winked at his frowning face and pulled away from the curb. She drifted into a parking spot near the big black car she recognised as belonging to the Winchesters and waited.
Sam climbed out first, gave her a sneaky little wave then leaned down to speak through the window, presumably to his brother. He waved his hands around a bit and Dean finally got out of the car himself. He was looking smart in neat slacks and a dark button down. Charlie mentally facepalmed as he was still wearing his boots. She was sure Castiel wouldn't mind though. Sam gestured back at her and she gave a cheerful double thumbs up at Dean when he peered at her through the windshield. He rolled his eyes and gave his best grumpy face, which, she would never tell him, was downright adorable.
She rolled down her window.
"Oh, Dean, he'll have a book on the table." She told him sweetly then leant over and opened the passenger door for Sam as Dean headed into the restaurant.
"Hey, Sam, how'd it go? Cas was a pain in the ass. I had to offer to pay." She shook her head sadly but Sam laughed.
"Don't worry, we'll split it. I had to offer the same thing!"
The two had an unrestricted view of the whole seating area through the window and watched as Dean walked in and shared a few words with the hostess. She pointed to Cas where he sat and Dean rushed towards the table. Charlie approved when Castiel stood politely but Dean wasn't slowing down. She watched in horror as Dean raised his hands, cupping Castiel's face in his big palms and going in for a kiss. She could see the tongue action from here.
"What the fuck?" Charlie said breathlessly.
"What the fuck?" Sam said at the same time, just as breathless.
They looked at each other, then back at the window where Castiel had responded enthusiastically and they now stood making out, oblivious to the other patrons, then looked back at each other.
A couple of minutes passed in silence as the two in the car did their best fish impressions and the two in the restaurant finally sat down, grinning at each other. Dean and Cas both pulled out their phones then a couple of seconds later Sam's phone pinged, then Charlie's.
- Hey, bitch. Meet my boyfriend. Thanks for the credit card, I'll be having seconds and the whisky from the top shelf I never let myself get. 😈 -
- Hello, Charlie. I think you've already met my boyfriend of the last eight months. Thank you for your credit card. I promise to not take advantage. 😇 -
Sam and Charlie looked up as one and watched Dean and Cas give them a little wave.
"Son of a bitch."
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