#blood work for pancreatic cancer

[cosmicintro]

Astro observations: Health aspects from the 6th house 💫

6th house in Aries: Be mindful of strong reactions, impulses and emotions as these could trigger high blood pressure, stress or unwanted headaches. Possible problems associated with the adrenal glands if health is not good. The person could be nearsighted/farsighted. Teeth issues and sensitive gums are common with this placement. 

6th house in Taurus: Be careful with ‘burnout’ and try to keep a healthy work-life balance. The individual is prone to respiratory conditions, jaw and neck pain/problems, weight gain (associated with thyroid issues). Thyroid disease. Problems with your voice or throat. Take it easy and follow a rhythm that honors your needs. 

6th house in Gemini: Allergies, infections, asthma, cough, breathing issues. Arms, hands and fingers might be sensitive. Anxiety and nervousness caused by too many unorganized/unwanted thoughts. Be careful with hand, arm and/or shoulder injuries. 

6th house in Cancer: Sensitive breasts/chest area. Inflammation associated with water/fluid retention. Pay close attention to your salt and fat consumption. Intolerance to different ingredients. It is vital for individuals with this placement to express their emotions as this can feel like a detox process for a 6th house cancer.

6th house in Leo: Hear what your heart is telling you. Don’t let stress or anger take you 'over the edge'. Similar to Aries in this house, it is common for the native to suffer from high blood pressure if a balanced lifestyle is not followed; a healthy diet will help this native tremendously. Be careful with hernias and your spine. Back pain/injuries. Spend more time outside. 

6th house in Virgo: Food sensitivities. Problems with digestion. Pay attention to sugar, fats, starches and the way your body reacts to them. Pancreatitis. Bloating associated with food intolerances. Meditation is recommended to calm an active mind and a healthy relationship with food will help with digestive issues. 

6th house in Libra: Lumbar pain. Problems with the lower back. Sensitivity to salt. Kidney stones. Insulin resistance. Diabetes. Partnerships have a big influence in your life; stress or strong (negative) emotions resulting from these relationships can have a big impact in your health. 

6th house in Scorpio: Constipation. Bladder/Urinary tract infections. Issues with libido/sex hormones. Cystitis (inflammation of the bladder; can cause pain or/and a burning sensation when peeing). Problems with the colon and elimination systems. Let go of any guilt/shame around your sexuality and keep a healthy relationship with your needs. 

6th house in Sagittarius: Issues associated with the pituitary gland. Hip mobility problems, pain or injuries. Obesity. For optimal liver health, alcohol and stress levels need to be monitored and, if possible, reduced to a minimum. Yoga can help ease stiffness around the hips and thighs. 

6th house in Capricorn: Knee pain. Injuries/procedures can cause significant scarring. Hair loss or scalp issues. Arthritis and joint pain. If your body is telling you to slow down, honor it and rest. Movement in every way is beneficial for the native. Be careful with your bones. 

6th house in Aquarius: Varicose veins. Frequent cramps. Arteries and veins might need to be monitored closely, as the native is prone to circulation problems. Calf pain. Stress, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia. Be careful with addictions. Stay hydrated. 

6th house in Pisces: Problems with the lymphatic system. Feet pain, inflammation, discomfort, injuries. Plantar fasciitis. Be careful with falls. Sleep problems, nightmares. Sadness that can lead into deep depression. Time alone is necessary. Make sure you’re getting the hours of sleep that your body requires to work harmoniously. 

Stay tuned for more! :)

[orphicdreamers-wp]

I Know The End — Nico Hischier

Summary; In which a rumor started turns into you staring the end of your lifelong dream in the eye

Content Warnings: Blackmail, false accusations of assault, mentions of cancer, mentions of blood, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of death during childbirth, angst, Jack & Luke Hughes acting out of character, pick me fem oc(Julia), Nico being caught in the crossfire, inaccuracies of being banned from the NHL, female NHL player

Pairing: Nico Hischier & Fem Reader

You had always loved hockey, your father held the highest pride in his only daughter enjoying his favorite sport. He’d played hockey briefly for a professional team in Germany when you were really young. So it didn’t come as a surprise to him when you decided you wanted to play hockey as well. He was reserved to let you play, your mother had died a few years earlier. She died during childbirth with your younger brother, Vincent and your dad didn’t want to lose you too. But reluctantly he agreed to let you play, because he saw how much you loved it.

So you played hockey from your seventh year in school and you eventually made it onto the Professional Women’s League’s Boston team for about a year and a half. But that wasn’t where you heart was. Your father had encouraged you to go for the NHL, but he didn’t make it to your draft. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had stopped responding to treatment just weeks before the draft was scheduled. He had passed away the night before you were drafted by the New Jersey Devils.

You knew before you were drafted that playing on a team with a bunch of guys wouldn’t be easy. You knew that you would find yourself the brunt of the jokes and facing a lot of hazing from the men. But you didn’t mind it, as long as you got to do what you loved you didn’t mind if the men who were on your team hated you and the idea of you being there. As time progressed only one of the players really seemed to be okay with your presence, Nico seemed to enjoy being around you. Whenever the team won and would go out to celebrate Nico always kindly extended the invitation to you, knowing the other guys weren’t.

You rarely accepted but whenever you did you found yourself enjoying the time spent with Nico and occasionally the other players when they were in decent enough moods to tolerate you. So it wasn’t a surprise when you and Nico wound up intertwined in each other and eventually became a couple. But that never would have worked out, not in a million years. So you and him broke up and within a month he was already seeing someone new. Her name was Julia, and you liked her enough. She was smart and kind. But if you knew then that she would be the reason your in the position you are you would have never spoken to her.

You were leaned against the boards untaping your stick after practice when your head coach Lindy Ruff approached you, “I need to see you in my office now.” You were taken aback by the urgency in his tone as you could feel eyes on you. You frowned slightly as you made your way to his office. You raised an eyebrow as you walked into a room full of men, you were used to it so you sat down and waited as an uncertain feeling loomed over your head.

Coach Ruff spoke ever so gently, as if he was scared of your reaction to the news he had, “I’m sure you know Comissioner Gary Bettman, Director of Officiating Stephen Walkom, Security Officer Miles Anderson and this is attorney Leslie Ryans.” You furrowed an eyebrow further growing confused, “What’s going on coach?” Coach Ruff blew out a deep breath, “Over the past 2 days a lot of rumors have been circulating regarding you and some unacceptable behavior.” You frowned, “I haven’t seen anything, what are you referring to?”

Coach Ruff slid a folder across the desk and you stared at the papers inside. It was printed out screenshots from a Twitter account. The tweet was from Nico’s current girlfriend, Julia. It went in depth of an alleged assault she experienced because at your hands because you were jealous of her and her relationship with Nico. You frowned as you shut the folder and dropped it on the desk, “Coach you don’t seriously believe I could do that, do you?”

Coach Ruff shook his head, “This was not the decision made by just me Y/N. This was all the coaching staff here’s decision. Along with Director Walkom. But most importantly this was Commissioner Bettman’s decision. It looks bad for the organization. I’m sorry but the only choice I have is to remove you from my roster and tell you that you are barred from the team and the NHL as a whole for the foreseeable future.”

You shook your head as you stood up, feeling your voice raise, “This is unfair to me. You all just sat behind a closed door and unanimously decided that my career and my reputation were worthless while you believed baseless claims about me that have nothing to back them up?” You ran a hand over your damp cheeks, “How the hell is this fair to me?”

Coach Ruff shook his head, “It’s out of my hands. Pack your stuff.” You shook your head, “How can you do this to me? To reach deep inside of me and pull out everything I have ever worked for and throw it on the ground so carelessly? I resent it.”

A sob wracked through your chest as you took a deep breath, “This is bullshit. I shouldn’t have left Germany, I can’t believe your taking the last piece of my dad away from me. I resent that and I resent you all for that.” You opened the door to the office and were met with Nico, Jack and Luke sporting solemn expressions. Your eyes were bloodshot and stained with tears.

You walked past them and began to empty the contents of your locker. Nico spoke quietly, “Are you okay?” You glared at him as you dropped some of you items into the box, “Like you care.” You dropped the last items in your box as you began to untape the photos of you and your dad and your friends in various places. You picked up your box, the past 4 years of your life amounting to a single box. You sighed as you walked past Nico, “Keep your lying ass bitch away from me. Or god help me it won’t be a rumor anymore.”

Nico frowned at your words, “What the hell is she talking about?” Luke let out a defeated sigh, “This.” He handed Nico his phone as Nico slowly digested the information he was reading. He handed Luke his phone as he found himself driving to Julia’s house. The door opened and Julia smiled widely at the sight of her boyfriend, “Hi baby!” Nico’s tense demeanor didn’t shift, “Why would you post that? I know that’s a lie, why?” Julia’s face paled, “Why do you care? It’s not about you!”

Nico scoffed, “Because you just got her fired for good. She’s banned from the NHL, not just fined. This was the most important thing to her. Why would you do that?” Julia’s voice lowered, sounding similar to a small child who was in trouble, “Jack asked me to get rid of her.” Nico’s eyes widened, “What?” Julia’s eyes watered, “Jack told me that if I didn’t find a way to get her off the team he would tell you about me and Dawson.” Nico raised an eyebrow, “What about you and Dawson?” Julia sniffled, “We hooked up at that party Jack threw.” Nico scoffed, “I don’t care. We’re over, fix this.”

A good month had passed and you had finally accepted that you were done in the NHL. You were packing up your apartment in New Jersey so you could move home to Germany with your grandparents and finally start school. Your phone rang, you frowned slightly as you read Nico’s name across the screen and answered, “Hey what’s up?” Nico’s soft voice filled your ears, “Check Twitter.” You frowned as you opened the Twitter app on your phone when Nico hung up.

You frowned as your phone began to ring endlessly, teams leaving voicemails telling you that they’d love to have you, Coach Ruff leaving messages apologizing and asking you to return. A message from Nico made you smile briefly. He told you to do what you already knew to do. You smiled as you typed out a quick response ‘I did. Check Twitter’

[dreadfulstar]

Commissions! Open!! Under the cut is context.

Please share this to help.

In April, my family and I were in a car accident where I was struck T-Bone driver’s side by an aggressive driver. I received long lasting injury as well as my passenger. We increased family financial debt attempting to recover. The new vehicle, a requirement for commute to work, was a slightly higher loan. The next week uncle then went in for heart failure and resulted in requiring a full valve replacement on all valves. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer at the same time, then requiring surgery. My mother this month was rushed in for internal bleeding; she has intestinal damage. My mother, uncle, grandfather, and grandmother (final state emphysema and COPD, oxygen replacement unit in the home, bed bound) are all one living arrangement unit. They had to take out liens in order to survive. Property was placed in my name in an attempt to keep housing. This month I began vomiting blood and found out I had beginning necrotic pancreatitis that needs monitored. Medication costs, copays, rent, and car payments are a financial burden but previously possible as I split costs with my fiance (passenger in the wreck). He has been terminated at work as of today. I have a second job and work 70-80 hours a week. Due to this loss, we are unable to pay rent and other expenses. I am unable to receive medical treatment and may die. If I default any loan, my family loses their house as well as us. Without assistance, I am aware I may become critically ill or die, but I am still working as much as possible to cover expenses despite the complications. My second job (full time) notified me they are considering termination due to medical liability of my disabilities.

[rjzimmerman]

Note that the studies that were released by companies affiliated with polluters happened in 2019, during the trump administration.

Excerpt from this story from Inside Climate News:

On a Southern California spring morning in 1973, a tanker truck driver jackknifed his rig and dumped the agricultural fumigant he was transporting onto a city street. A Los Angeles Fire Department emergency response team spent four hours cleaning up the chemical, 1,3-dichloropropene, or 1,3-D, a fumigant sold as Telone that farmers use to kill nematodes and other soil-dwelling organisms before planting.

Seven years after the spill, two emergency responders developed the same rare, aggressive blood cancer—histiocytic lymphoma—and died within two months of each other. In 1975, a farmer who’d accidentally exposed himself to 1,3-D repeatedly through a broken hose was diagnosed with another blood cancer, leukemia, and died the next year.

Within a decade of the men’s deaths, described as case studies in JAMA Internal Medicine, the National Toxicology Program, or NTP, reported “clear evidence” that 1,3-D causes cancer in both rats and mice. The finding led the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to classify the chemical as “likely to be carcinogenic to humans” the same year, 1985. So it wasn’t a surprise when researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles reported in 2003 that Californians who’d lived at least two decades in areas with the highest applications of 1,3-D faced a heightened risk of dying from pancreatic cancer. 

Yet EPA’s Office of Pesticide Programs’ Cancer Assessment Review Committee, or CARC, concluded in 2019 that 1,3-D—originally embraced by tobacco companies for its unparalleled ability to kill anything in soil that might harm their plants—isn’t likely to cause cancer after all.

In doing so, EPA, whose mission is to protect human health and the environment, rejected the human evidence, calling the UCLA study “low quality.” It also dismissed the authoritative NTP study and studies in lab animals that documented 1,3-D’s ability to damage DNA, a quintessential hallmark of cancer.

Instead, EPA’s CARC relied on studies provided by Dow AgroSciences (now called Corteva), the primary manufacturer of 1,3-D, and proposed a review of evidence linking the fumigant to cancer by SciPinion, a consulting firm hired by Dow, as an external peer review of its work. The decision to entrust external review to a Dow contractor has drawn repeated criticism, including from the agency’s watchdog, the Office of Inspector General, or OIG.

“During EPA’s search of the open literature, a comprehensive third-party peer review of the cancer weight-of-evidence assessment that considered toxicokinetics, genotoxicity and carcinogenicity data for 1,3-D was conducted and published in 2020 by SciPinion,” said agency spokesperson Timothy Carroll. EPA argued that the SciPinion review satisfied the criteria for an external review, Carroll said, and that another panel would have arrived at the same conclusion, given the specialized expertise required.

The OIG had recommended EPA conduct an external peer review of its 1,3-D cancer risk assessment in a 2022 report that outlined several problems with the agency’s process. An external review, the OIG said, requires “independence from the regulated business,” again noting the deficiency in a new report released in early August. 

The scientists who run SciPinion have long consulted for manufacturers of harmful products, often publishing studies that deploy computer models to question the need for more protective health standards.

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Piggy health update 3.0

She had her ultrasound done and nothing major came up. They did end up having to sedate her a little so she's currently wobbling around the apartment very confused. They're sending her scans out to be looked at by a radiologist to confirm there's nothing they missed. She also got a large panel of blood work done to check for things like liver dysfunction and pancreatitis. They decided to do it while she was sedated so she would be less stressed instead of having her come back if the radiologist found nothing on the ultrasound. I'm glad she's not scarred internally or riddled with cancer but this still leaves the question of what's causing all the vomiting. The ultrasound review from the radiologist and the blood work results will be back early next week so they'll probably be an update 3.5 that's basically just "they found something" or "we still don't know".

[firstprince-ao3feed]

Take my hand take my whole life too...

by Justsomehowexistingidekhow “Please don't give me a fright, please tell me” his hand which is not holding Alex's is currently shaking, he's practically vibrating right now. She sighs and looks at the documents “We've run a few tests and some blood work as a precautionary measure, and I need you to listen to me carefully” Or The fic where Alex has pancreatic cancer. Inspired by the movie, 'Spoiler alert: the hero dies' Words: 5165, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Oscar Diaz (Red White & Royal Blue), Ellen Claremont, Nora Holleran, June Claremont-Diaz, Percy "Pez" Okonjo Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Major Illness, Cancer, Character Death, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, POV Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Needs a Hug, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, supportive parents, Angst, Fluffy, really fucking fluffy, I Might Need A Hug, idk how to tag, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Married FirstPrince, Christmas fic, Did I Say Fluffy?, Crying, Heartbreak, no beta we die like arthur fox, Henry misses Alex, Henry misses his father, Depiction of Death, Sad, Original Character - Freeform via https://ift.tt/tBEg0Ui

[archivxx]

✯[0.09]✯

Previous || Next

Note: maybe fake dating Clyde Donovan isn’t too bad…just maybe…

Pete Thelman.

Pete Thelman. Took the rock world by storm in 2015, topping the charts within a year of his first single. Probably one of the most popular rock singers to date. With his own record company with the most prestigious label behind it. Most singers come into the industry with his status as an end goal. Holding some of the most insane musical records. More Grammys than you could count on your fingers. Every musical artist aspired to be like him, took inspiration for him, no matter what type of music the create. Holding some of the most staple and massive concerts. More than enough speculations behind him. Pete Thelman.

Pete Thelman. Stood in front of you calling your fake-date “bro” and “dude.” To say this situation had shocked you would be a complete understatement. You were void of words, thoughts. You couldn’t make a single coherent string of thoughts.

You were staring at him, baffled, his mouth was moving but you had no clue what he was saying. You needed to sit down asap.

He was looking at you with a slightly cocked head, had he asked you something? You clocked back into reality.

“Wait…” he narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you..?”

Clyde watched as you two communicated, it was like just by looking at your faces you could hear the cogs working in your heads.

“Y/N L/N.” You stared at him for a long moment while the puzzle pieces fell into place. “We we’re supposed to meet this afternoon to discuss the event.”

He took a breath and held it then released it slowly. His eyes flicked between you and Clyde a few times before his eyes blew wide. A long “ohhhhh” falling past his lips. “So you’re the girl I’ve been hearing about. Man, I didn’t think you had it in you.” He clapped a hand against Clydes shoulder.

Clearly the whole not wanting to feed the fake dating crap to someone who was clearly a good friend was completely thrown out the window as Pete had heard about it all himself.

You opened your mouth to explain when Clyde cut you off, “You two know each other?” You both looked at him, you had almost forgot he was standing with the two of you.

“Oh right, I already told you, Y/N is the lady I was meeting with today.” Clydes mouth changed into a “o” of understanding. “Hey since we’re already here why don’t you pitch yourself you me now?” You froze. Your blood felt cold. What did he just say? Pitch it now? You weren’t ready.

There was no way you were doing it now, you couldn’t even think straight, let alone pitch it. How were you going to recite everything without messing it up. Your mind felt like a tornado had just gone right through it and messed everything up.

Before you could respond Pete had a hold of your hand and was dragging you back into the cafe. He took you over to a table, Clyde following closely behind you. He sat down and motioned to the place across from him. You parked yourself.

“Okay, Y/N tell me why you want this. Sell your band.” You stared at him, recollecting your thoughts, he was staring at you, waiting. You began to recite what you had practiced, maybe your voice had sounded robotic or something but he cut you off. “No no, not what you practiced. Tell me why you want to do this charity event, what it means to you.”

You really didn’t fancy telling this man your whole life story so you decided to condense it down. “I feel that the band will really benefit from a charity event, additionally cancer is a close subject to me and the other members. It would be empowering to do an event for it.”

“Which is really nice, but it’s still not why you want it, Y/N. Tell me, what does this mean to you.” He poked his finger against the table. Clyde could sense your growing discomfort. He gave Pete a look but he simply dismissed and continued to persist.

“Okay, fine. When I was younger I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer, doing an event to support a charity fighting against it would be empowering for me. My mother was very important to me and the last person I had. I want to do this for her.” You hadn’t noticed it but a tear has rolled down your cheek. You were too focused on watching your hands ring in your lap.

Clyde slapped his hand across Petes arm. Pete once again dismissed it, smiling brightly at you. “I’m sold!” You looked up from from your hands at him. “I mean, first you make this sadistic fucker happy and I’d love to give you an outlet to honour your mother. Also I listened to your music and I like everything that you guys make! I’m sold!”

You sat up straight reaching your arm out to shake his hand. He didn’t return it, instead he got up and hugged you. You hugged back.

When he released you, walked back over to his seat. He sat down and looked between you two. “Okay, now tell all the juicy details about you two.” For such an “emo” looking guy, he sure was social, you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t caught you off guard.

Your head swung round to Clyde, you hadn’t spoken about this yet. He wasn’t looking at you, so you decided to take the initiative. “Well we were both, uh, here late one night and we were both in the break room and I dunno it just sort of happened.”

Clyde stayed silent, clearly he couldn’t come up with anything either so decided to let you do the talking. “You know what eve seen each other around and stuff. I made the first move.” Clydes head snapped around to you, his eyebrows furrowed. You shrugged at him trying to make the unspoken communication between you and him unnoticeable. If Pete had seen either of you, he would have known immediately and called bullshit, they seemed like really good friends.

Pete nodded. “Well I must say I’m shocked that anyone at all can make this guy happy, in the ten years I’ve known him I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him smile. Well done, Y/N.”

You smiled to yourself. Even if the relationship was fake, it was still nice to hear people talking about you like that. You grabbed your phone to check the time. Shit. You were late again. You stood up quickly.

“I’m so sorry I’m going to have to go.”

Pete smiled, understanding. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow with the rest of your band to discuss the business side of things. I look forward to doing work with you, Y/N.” He extended his hand at you, you cupped his hand. A hand shake. Now this whole deal felt a little more real.

You smiled and thanked him then slung your bag over your shoulder and left the cafe. You head for the elevator, pulling your phone out of your pocket and immediately went to your messages.

Masterlist

Taglist: @ryenwritess @southparktegreity @h3artilly @bootsieboo

[libertarian-druid-in-greater-vt]

Well shit folks, I might be checking out here. I've been having symptoms of pancreatic cancer for awhile now.

Scheduling an appointment to get checked asap.

But, good news, I've been to the hospital a few times pretty recently, and they've taken blood and urine from me because of my diabetes and that's a moderate risk factor. So there's a good chance they checked for that as well. So, if this is pancreatic cancer, it's new, meaning it'll be caught early and that has a 99% cure rate.

Or, also a solid possibility, I don't have shit. And I'll be totally fine. Maybe the pain is just pain. I can defer payment long enough for insurance to kick in, since we get it immediately so I'll be set there too. Only reason I don't have it now is because I'm a temp, which means my insulin was all walmart brand, which thankfully has no known effects on cancer rate.

And because I'm a diabetic, it's not like they can't just remove my pancreas right?

And I'll be real, the sudden spikes of pain were fucking crippling. I full on collapsed at work from one while nobody was there and just assumed I pulled a muscle really bad. But that was today, when I looked into it.

So, worst case, I'm still looking good, in fact damn near as good as I could be. Not worth calling ambulance over, but I gotta call off work if I can get in tomorrow.

Gonna be real, I'm terrified. Don't know if I'm gonna sleep or not. But thankfully I've also been smoking cannabis daily for months, which is known to inhibit cancer cell growth.

Fucking hell, diabetes, then epilepsy, now possibly cancer.

[foxymoxynoona]

hope your surgery goes well

Thank you <3 It's now scheduled for June 7 and I am utterly terrified. I'll put some details below the cut for those who don't mind medical talk and are curious. Recovery will be 8-10 weeks, though I've been warned it could be 6 months or more before I'm feeling myself again so I don't really have a projection about what this means for my writing yet.

Unfortunately the surgeon can't tell the best way to remove the tumor in my small intestines without going in, so I'll be having an open abdomen exploratory surgery. There are four potential surgical results, from an easy and simple removal or minor resection if the tumor is on a stalk like the endoscopic surgeons think, all the way up to a Whipple (a major procedure usually used for pancreatic cancer where they remove some of your organs even if they're healthy and reroute your digestive tract; it has lifelong dietary changes and risk of things like diabetes and enzyme production failure.) I'll be in the hospital for a week and recovery is rough for a Whipple, less rough for the lesser procedures. No matter what I'll be recovering from the abdominal incision and at least a minor resection. I really really really hope it can be a lesser surgery.

I hate this. I'm terrified. The fact I won't know what they do to me until I wake up either with a nasal feeding tube or without one is agony. I'm sick and miserable in the meantime dealing with all sorts of symptoms; it's not a surgery I can opt out of with all my current health problems. We're taking blood samples every two weeks in the meantime to make sure I'm not bleeding out too quickly again and I'm setting up everything I can to run smoothly at home while I'm recovering. I'm out of work right now on medical leave until late July or August depending on which surgery I wind up with.

💔 This isn't fun. 💔

[optimisticgalaxydreamland]

Modern bread and gluten

🇬🇧 In English

Bread is all too often responsible for digestive problems (bloating, stomach upsets, unstable transit). And also irritation of the mucous membrane (inside) of the intestine and intestinal permeability (porous intestine), with the molecules that disrupt immunity passing to the liver, resulting in allergies.

Autoimmune" diseases are very varied, depending on the genetic susceptibility of each individual:

digestive diseases: coeliac disease, non-viral hepatitis and fatty liver, pancreatitis, chronic intestinal diseases and ulcerative colitis.

rheumatological diseases

Neuropsychological: Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Multiple Sclerosis, etc.

hormonal: thyroiditis, damage to the pancreas and adrenal glands

bone: osteopathies, decalcifications, early osteoporosis

haematological: changes in the bone marrow, which produces too many or too few blood cells (red, white, platelets)

skin disorders: Lupus, psoriasis, scleroderma

On the other hand, we can't generalize: the real cause of the problem with bread is the genetic manipulation of wheat seeds; we're trying to standardize seeds (like twins), the primary objective being to maximize yields from industrial monocultures. The soil is not fertile, and yields depend on external fertilisers and pesticides.

The benefits of genetic standardisation for the bread industry - simplifies cultivation techniques, - facilitates phytosanitary treatments, - guarantees yields, - enables standardised flours to be obtained (e.g. T 9 index). The convergence of seeds, crops, flour and bread is generating health problems for consumers and farmers, due to the use of toxic products. Their convergence is generating health problems:

Non-Hodgkin's malignant lymphoma, a cancer of the immune system, is a recognised occupational disease in farmers exposed to pesticides in the course of their work.

On the other hand, industrial bread-making processes add other processes and ingredients

Flour is refined using chemical processes.

Intensive mechanical kneading

Very short fermentation with industrial yeasts

All these factors make bread indigestible and harmful:

Gluten becomes resistant to enzymatic digestion

Bread contains no vitamins, antioxidants or polyphenols and is low in minerals.

It is toxic because it contains traces of toxic products.

Ancient grains could be the solution, here are a few examples

Engrain or Petit Épeautre 10 (Triticum monococcum),

Barbu du Roussillon (Triticum aestivum),

Starch (Triticum turgidum),

Kamut brand Khorasan (Triticum turanicum)

and many other wheats of yesteryear must find their place again, with bakers particularly aware of their role in health. What's more, they will create many new jobs.

In conclusion:

Abandon industrial breads and opt for wholemeal flours made from ancient grains.

Prepare your bread at home

Preferably bake your bread by hand, avoid long-fermented Perrier and opt for long fermentation.

Chew the bread well, the faster it melts in your mouth, the easier it will be to digest.

Find the complete article at LE PAIN EN QUESTION POUR LA SANTÉ PUBLIQUE https://www.professeur-joyeux.com/2023/07/04/le-pain-en-question-pour-la-sante-publique/

Le pain et le gluten modernes

🇫🇷 En Français

Le pain est trop souvent responsable de troubles digestif (ballonnements, maux de ventres, instabilité du transit). Et aussi d’irritations de la muqueuse (intérieur) de l’intestin et de perméabilité intestinale (intestin poreux), les molécules qui de perturbent l’immunité passent vers le foie, et comme résultat des allergies.

Les maladies ”auto-immunes” sont très variées selon les susceptibilités génétiques de chaque individu:

digestives: maladie coeliaque et hépatites non virales et foie gras, pancreatitis, maladies intestinales chroniques intestinales et recto-colite-ulcéro-hémorragique

rhumatologiques

neuropsychiques: Alzheimer, Parkinson, Sclérose en Plaques, etc

hormonales: thyroïdites, atteintes du pancréas et des surrénales

osseuses: ostéopathies, décalcifications, ostéoporose précoce

hématologiques: modifications de la moelle osseuse qui fabrique trop ou pas assez des globules du sang (rouges, blancs, plaquettes)

cutanées : Lupus, psoriasis, sclérodermia

Par contre on ne peut pas généraliser, la vrai cause du problème avec le pain est manipulation génétique des semences des blés; on cherche uniformiser les semences (comme des individus jumeaux), l’objective primaire: la maximization des rendements des monocultures industriales. Les sols ne sont pas fertiles, le rendement depends des fertilisants extérieurs et pesticides.

Les benefits de l’uniformisation génétique pour la filière du pain– simplifie les techniques de culture,– facilite les traitements phytosanitaires– garantise les rendements,– permet l’obtention de farines standardisées (par example Indice T 9). La convergence semences-cultures-farines-pains est génératrice de problèmes de santé pour les consommateurs et agriculteurs, du a l’emploie de produits toxiques. Leur convergence est génératrice de problèmes de santé:

Le lymphome malin non hodgkinien, cancer du système immunitaire, est une maladie professionnelle reconnue chez les agriculteurs exposés aux pesticides dans le cadre de leur métier.

D’autre part, les processes industriels de fabrication du pain, ajoutent des procedes et d’autres ingrédients

La farine est refiné par des proceses chimiques

La pétrification mécanique intensive

La fermentation très courte avec des levures industrielles

Tous ces facteurs font que le pain soit indigeste et nocif:

Le gluten devient résistent a la digestion enzymatique

Le pain ne contient pas d des vitamines, des anti-oxydants, des polyphénols, il est faible en minéraux.

Il est toxique car il contient des traces de produits toxiques

Les grains anciennes serions la solution, voici quelques examples

L’Engrain ou petit Épeautre 10 (Triticum monococcum),

le Barbu du Roussillon (Triticum aestivum) ,

l’Amidonnier (Triticum turgidum),

le Khorasan de la marque Kamut (Triticum turanicum)

et bien d’autres blés d’autrefois doivent retrouver leur place, chez les boulangers particulièrement conscients de leur rôle pour la santé. Ils deviendront en plus créateurs de nombreux emplois.

En conclusion:

Abandonnez leș pains industriels, privilégiez les farines completes et fabriquées avec des graines anciennes

Preparez votre pain a la maison

De preference faites le pain a la main, évitez le Perrier long temps et privilégiez la fermentation longue

Mastiquez bien le pain, si le pain est fondu vite dans la bouche, plus facile sera sa digestion

Trouvez l'article complet chez LE PAIN EN QUESTION POUR LA SANTÉ PUBLIQUE https://www.professeur-joyeux.com/2023/07/04/le-pain-en-question-pour-la-sante-publique/

El pan moderno y el gluten

🇪🇸 En Español

Con demasiada frecuencia, el pan es responsable de problemas digestivos (hinchazón, molestias estomacales, tránsito inestable). Y también irritación de la mucosa (interior) del intestino y permeabilidad intestinal (intestino poroso), con lo que las moléculas que alteran la inmunidad pasan al hígado, dando lugar a alergias.

Las enfermedades "autoinmunes" son muy variadas, dependiendo de la susceptibilidad genética de cada individuo:

enfermedades digestivas: celiaquía, hepatitis no vírica e hígado graso, pancreatitis, enfermedades intestinales crónicas y colitis ulcerosa.

enfermedades reumatológicas

neuropsicológicas: Alzheimer, Parkinson, esclerosis múltiple, etc.

hormonales: tiroiditis, daños en el páncreas y las glándulas suprarrenales

óseas: osteopatías, descalcificaciones, osteoporosis precoz

Hematológicos: alteraciones de la médula ósea, que produce demasiadas o pocas células sanguíneas (rojas, blancas, plaquetas).

Trastornos cutáneos: Lupus, psoriasis, esclerodermia.

Por otra parte, no podemos generalizar: la verdadera causa del problema del pan es la manipulación genética de las semillas de trigo; se intenta estandarizar las semillas (como los gemelos), con el objetivo primordial de maximizar el rendimiento de los monocultivos industriales. El suelo no es fértil y los rendimientos dependen de fertilizantes y pesticidas externos.

Las ventajas de la estandarización genética para la industria del pan - simplifica las técnicas de cultivo, - facilita los tratamientos fitosanitarios, - garantiza los rendimientos, - permite obtener harinas estandarizadas (por ejemplo, el índice T 9). La convergencia de semillas, cultivos, harinas y pan está generando problemas de salud a consumidores y agricultores, debido al uso de productos tóxicos. Su convergencia está generando problemas de salud:

El linfoma maligno no Hodgkin, un cáncer del sistema inmunitario, es una enfermedad profesional reconocida en los agricultores expuestos a pesticidas durante su trabajo.

Por otra parte, los procesos industriales de elaboración del pan añaden otros procesos y otros ingredientes

La harina se refina mediante procesos químicos.

Amasado mecánico intensivo

Fermentación muy corta con levaduras industriales

Todos estos factores hacen que el pan sea indigesto y perjudicial:

El gluten se vuelve resistente a la digestión enzimática.

El pan no contiene vitaminas, antioxidantes ni polifenoles y es pobre en minerales.

Es tóxico porque contiene trazas de productos tóxicos.

Los cereales antiguos podrían ser la solución, he aquí algunos ejemplos

Engrain o petit Épeautre 10 (Triticum monococcum),

Barbu du Roussillon (Triticum aestivum),

Almidón (Triticum turgidum),

Kamut marca Khorasan (Triticum turanicum)

y muchos otros trigos de antaño deben volver a encontrar su lugar, ya que los panaderos son especialmente conscientes de su papel en la salud. Además, crearán muchos nuevos puestos de trabajo.

En conclusión:

Abandonar los panes industriales y optar por harinas integrales elaboradas con granos antiguos.

Prepara tu pan en casa

Hornea tu pan preferiblemente a mano, evita los Perrier de larga fermentación y opta por los de fermentación larga.

Mastica bien el pan, cuanto más rápido se deshaga en la boca, más fácil será digerirlo.

Encuentre el artículo completo en LE PAIN EN QUESTION POUR LA SANTÉ PUBLIQUE https://www.professeur-joyeux.com/2023/07/04/le-pain-en-question-pour-la-sante-publique/

O pão moderno e o glúten

🇧🇷 En Português

O pão é muitas vezes responsável por problemas digestivos (inchaço, perturbações gástricas, trânsito instável). E também a irritação da mucosa (interior) do intestino e a permeabilidade intestinal (intestino poroso), com as moléculas que perturbam a imunidade a passarem para o fígado, dando origem a alergias.

As doenças "auto-imunes" são muito variadas e dependem da suscetibilidade genética de cada indivíduo:

Doenças digestivas: doença celíaca, hepatite não viral e fígado gordo, pancreatite, doenças intestinais crónicas e colite ulcerosa.

Doenças reumatológicas

neuropsicológicas: doença de Alzheimer, Parkinson, esclerose múltipla, etc.

hormonais: tiroidite, lesões do pâncreas e das glândulas supra-renais

ósseas: osteopatias, descalcificações, osteoporose precoce

hematológicas: alterações da medula óssea, que produz demasiadas ou poucas células sanguíneas (glóbulos vermelhos, glóbulos brancos, plaquetas)

afecções cutâneas: Lúpus, psoríase, esclerodermia

Por outro lado, não podemos generalizar: a verdadeira causa do problema do pão é a manipulação genética das sementes de trigo; estamos a tentar uniformizar as sementes (como os gémeos), com o objetivo principal de maximizar o rendimento das monoculturas industriais. O solo não é fértil e os rendimentos dependem de fertilizantes e pesticidas externos.

As vantagens da normalização genética para a indústria do pão - simplifica as técnicas de cultivo, - facilita os tratamentos fitossanitários, - garante os rendimentos, - permite obter farinhas normalizadas (por exemplo, índice T 9). A convergência das sementes, das culturas, das farinhas e do pão está a gerar problemas de saúde para os consumidores e para os agricultores, devido à utilização de produtos tóxicos. A sua convergência está a gerar problemas de saúde:

O linfoma maligno não-Hodgkin, um cancro do sistema imunitário, é uma doença profissional reconhecida nos agricultores expostos a pesticidas no exercício da sua atividade.

Por outro lado, os processos industriais de fabrico de pão acrescentam outros processos e outros ingredientes

A farinha é refinada por processos químicos.

Amassadura mecânica intensiva

Fermentação muito curta com leveduras industriais

Todos estes factores tornam o pão indigesto e nocivo:

O glúten torna-se resistente à digestão enzimática.

O pão não contém vitaminas, antioxidantes ou polifenóis e é pobre em minerais.

É tóxico porque contém vestígios de produtos tóxicos.

Os cereais antigos podem ser a solução, eis alguns exemplos

Engrain ou petit Épeautre 10 (Triticum monococcum),

Barbu du Roussillon (Triticum aestivum),

Amido (Triticum turgidum),

Kamut marca Khorasan (Triticum turanicum)

e muitos outros trigos de outrora devem reencontrar o seu lugar, junto de padeiros particularmente atentos aos seus benefícios para a saúde. Além disso, criarão muitos novos postos de trabalho.

Em conclusão:

Abandonar os pães industriais e optar por farinhas integrais de cereais antigos.

Prepare o seu pão em casa

De preferência, coza o seu pão à mão, evite Perrier de longa fermentação e opte por uma fermentação longa.

Mastiga bem o pão, quanto mais depressa derreter na tua boca, mais fácil será a digestão.

Ver o artigo completo em LE PAIN EN QUESTION POUR LA SANTÉ PUBLIQUE https://www.professeur-joyeux.com/2023/07/04/le-pain-en-question-pour-la-sante-publique/

[rishiguro]

EXTRA; ABOUT PANCREATIC CANCER

disclaimer: i‘m no medical professional. this is based on research alone. please contact me if the information provided is untrue.

what is pancreatic cancer?

pancreatic cancer is a form of cancer that arises in your pancreas, an organ behind your stomach.

the pancreas is a part of your digestive system and is involved in the secretion of the so-called pancreatic juice to help digestion (exocrine role) and the regulation of blood sugar (endocrine role).

cancer is a disease in which the cells of your body grow uncontrollably, after the body’s natural control mechanism stops working. here old cells don’t die and grow out of control, forming a mass of tissue that’s called a tumor. cancerous (malignant) tumors not only grow uncontrollably, but can also invade nearby tissues and travel in the body to form new tumors in different places, therefore becoming life-threatening. this is due to genetic changes that can be caused by a variety of things such as genes, lifestyle and cancer-causing environments. cancer can form in almost every part of the human body.

types

click here to read about pancreatic exocrine tumors and pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors

symptoms

symptoms of pancreatic cancer can include:

jaundice (a yellow tint to the white of the eye or the skin), abdominal pain, loss of appetite, unintended weight loss, itchy skin, blood clots, fatigue, new diagnosed diabetes or existing diabetes that becomes harder to control, high temperature

risk factors

risk factors include smoking, diabetes, chronic pancreatitis (long term inflammation of the pancreas), obesity, old age, sex (men are slightly more likely to develop pancreatic cancer), family history and inherited genetic syndromes, chronic pancreatitis due to gene change.

factors without a clear effect on risk include diet, physical inactivity, coffee, alcohol and infections

diagnosis

symptoms usually do not appear in early stages, making it hard to diagnose pancreatic cancer early on. symptoms are also not distinctive to the disease.

ct scans and eus are commonly used to diagnose the cancer. mris, pets and mrcp may also be used. if the diagnosis is still uncertain, a biopsy by fna might be used.

treatment

treatments depend on various factors, such as the size and type of cancer, where it’s located, stage and the person’s general health.

treatment may include surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, immunotherapy, ablation and/or targeted therapy.

click here to read more about pancreatic cancer treatment

statistics

pancreatic cancer is the 11th most common cancer in women and the 12th most common cancer type in men.

men are slightly more likely to develop pancreatic cancer than women

pancreatic cancer accounts for 2.5% of new cases of cancer worldwide, but is responsible for 6% of cancer deaths each year. pancreatic cancer is the seventh highest cause of death from cancer worldwide.

the majority of recorded cases occurs in developed countries

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

mlist

[imautistsick]

My grandpa is in stage 4 metastatic lung cancer...

Lesions on the brain, Tumors in the shoulder/clavicle, shoulder cancer, originated from Lung cancer, Cancer in the lymph nodes, and pancreatic cancer

He got 3 rounds of chemo and was discharged...

He went home and his feral cat bit him on the hand, it got infected.

Hes now critically ill and considered high risk. He is having a hard time breathing on his own and is on a breathing machine.

His BP is extremely low and is on BP meds. His kidneys are not working and they are consulting a kidney specialist. He's on a broad spectrum antibiotic because he has an infection in his blood and his hand (from the cat bite) there are 2 different organisms in his blood and in that hand.

This has caused septic shock. And he has no immunity due to the 3 rounds of chemo from last week. They also found a tumor that is invading his heart. The nurse practitioner said there might be more cancer in his abdomen (That could be the reason why his kidneys aren't working)

They said he is what they call full code and they will administer CPR if his heart stops. This is insane. Unreal. This like a character in a medical drama. It's my grandpa. We are going to drive 6 hours tomorrow to see him in the hospital.

[bintook]

What is Keto Diet and how to Start with it?

The Keto, short for Ketogenic, is a high-fat and low-carb diet that has gained popularity in recent years for its potential benefits in weight loss, improving blood sugar control, and increasing energy levels. The best thing about the Keto diet is its ability to induce a state of ketosis, where the body switches from burning glucose for energy to burning fats instead. This can lead to significant weight loss and improved insulin sensitivity in individuals with diabetes.

In addition to weight loss and improved blood sugar control, many people also report feeling more satiated on a Keto diet due to its high-fat content, leading to less snacking throughout the day. Furthermore, research has suggested that the Keto diet may have numerous health benefits such as protecting against neurological diseases and body inflammation, and may even help reduce the risk of developing some chronic diseases like cancer, Alzheimer's, and heart disease.

Overall, the best thing about the Keto diet is its ability to improve overall health and well-being while still allowing for a wide range of delicious and satiating foods, including healthy fats and vegetables. For those interested in trying out the Keto diet, there are also many free Keto recipes available online to help get started.

How does the Keto diet work?

The Keto diet works by limiting the intake of carbohydrates to a very low amount, typically less than 50 grams per day. This forces the body to switch from using glucose as its primary energy source to using ketones, which are produced when the body breaks down fat. This process is called ketosis and can lead to significant weight loss and improved blood sugar control.

2. What can you eat on a Keto diet?

On a Keto diet, the focus is on high-fat foods such as avocados, nuts and seeds, oils, butter, and fatty cuts of meat like beef and pork. You can also eat non-starchy vegetables like leafy greens, broccoli, and cauliflower, and small amounts of low-carb fruits like berries. However, you should avoid starchy vegetables, grains, sugar, and most fruits as they are high in carbohydrates.

3. What are the potential benefits of the Keto diet?

Apart from weight loss and improved blood sugar control, the Keto diet may have several other potential health benefits. For instance, some studies suggest that it may help reduce inflammation, protect against certain neurological diseases, and lower the risk of developing some chronic diseases such as cancer, Alzheimer's, and heart disease.

4. Are there any risks or side effects associated with the Keto diet?

Some people may experience side effects when starting a Keto diet, such as fatigue, headaches, and nausea, which are usually temporary and subside within a few days or weeks. Additionally, the Keto diet may not be suitable for everyone, especially those with certain medical conditions such as pancreatitis, liver disease, or gallbladder disease. It is always a good idea to talk to your healthcare provider before starting any new diet or exercise regimen.

The keto diet food pyramid is a visual guide that shows the recommended intake of different food groups on a ketogenic diet. Here is an example of a keto diet food pyramid:

At the bottom of the pyramid, we have the foundation of the keto diet, which consists of:

Low-carbohydrate vegetables such as leafy greens, broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, and asparagus. These are high in fiber, vitamins, and minerals, and should be included in every meal to provide bulk and essential nutrients.

Moving up the pyramid, we have:

Healthy fats such as avocado, nuts and seeds, olive oil, coconut oil, and butter. These should be consumed in moderation but are a crucial part of the keto diet as they provide the body with energy and help to keep you feeling full.

High-quality protein sources such as meat, poultry, fish, eggs, and cheese. These are important for building and repairing muscles and tissues in the body.

At the top of the pyramid, we have:

Low-sugar fruits such as berries and avocados. These are a good source of fiber and antioxidants and can be included in small amounts on a keto diet.

Carbohydrates in the form of starchy vegetables, grains, and processed foods should be avoided or limited on a ketogenic diet as they can kick you out of ketosis.

It is important to note that the serving sizes and amounts of each food group on the keto diet may vary depending on your individual needs and goals. It is always best to consult with a healthcare professional or registered dietitian before starting any new diet.

The ketogenic diet has become increasingly popular in recent years as a way to lose weight, improve health markers, and increase energy levels. Here is an ultimate keto meal plan that will help you achieve your goals while keeping your meals exciting and delicious.

Breakfast:

2 eggs cooked in 1 tablespoon of butter or ghee

2 slices of bacon

1/2 avocado

Black coffee or tea with a tablespoon of heavy cream

Lunch:

Grilled chicken breast or baked salmon with lemon butter sauce

1 cup of sautéed spinach with garlic and olive oil

1/4 cup of cherry tomatoes

1/4 cup of sliced cucumber

1/4 cup of sliced almonds

Dinner:

Baked chicken thighs with rosemary and garlic

1 cup of roasted broccoli with garlic and olive oil

1/2 cup of cauliflower rice

1/4 cup of sliced mushrooms

Snacks:

1 ounce of macadamia nuts

1 ounce of cheddar cheese

1/2 cup of sliced cucumber with 2 tablespoons of ranch dressing

1 hard-boiled egg

Beverages:

Water

Sparkling water

Unsweetened tea or coffee

Almond milk or coconut milk (unsweetened)

Tips:

Make sure to stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day.

Plan and prep your meals ahead of time to make it easier to stick to the diet.

Use herbs and spices to add flavor to your meals instead of sugar or other high-carb seasonings.

Choose healthy fats such as avocado, olive oil, nuts, and seeds instead of unhealthy fats like processed vegetable oils.

Experiment with new recipes to keep your meals exciting and avoid boredom.

Remember, the key to a successful ketogenic diet is to stick to the plan and track your progress. Keep in mind that this meal plan is just a starting point, and you may need to make adjustments based on your individual needs and preferences.

[jaeminsnanadoongie]

Always With You 🍂

Part I

Summary: "Close your eyes

And I'll be there

Cause no matter where I go

I'll be Always With You"🍂

Two teenagers, a hospital and a deadly disease....🍂Will they survive??

AU: Hospital au

Word count : 12.4K (approx.)

Genre: Angst (A little bit), fluff, a innie tiny bit emotional (cus I'm not that good at writing emotional stuff)

Pairing (s): Huang Renjun × OC

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction. None of the incidents depicted here has no connection to the actual persons, living or dead, or actual events. Any resemblance found with another story is clearly unintentional. The personality or behaviour of the idol depicted here is not the related to his/her personality or behaviour in real life.It's pure work of imagination by the author.

Chapter 1

1st February 2022

A low-spirited aura surrounding the room as the doctor intensively looked into the results.

The room lit bright by lights. Anxiety packing the air as the three souls intently looked at the doctor waiting for an answer. The sickening hospital smell floating through the air, faint but unmistakable scent of blood seeping through a veil of antiseptic.

Scrunching his face up in disgust. Pinching his nose to block the flow of the smell, constantly shifting on his seat. Flipping through the pages, looking at every single word, a constant frown evident on the doctor's face.

Each minute passing by like an eternity as the boy and his parents waited for an answer from the doctor.

A long exhale left the doctors mouth, finally looked up to the three individuals. Removing his glasses as he rubbed his temples. Looking back and forth between the paper and the people in front of him, when he atlast opened his mouth.

"It's stage 4 pancreatic cancer." The long held tear finally fell of the mother's cheeks. The boy however looked unfazed, somewhat as if he had expected this.

His face showing no emotion, eyes fixed on the sheets of paper. "He can survive it...right??" The father asked as he searched for a ray of hope to save his one and only son.

"I'm really sorry sir but...a lot of organs are already damaged...the survival chances are really low" the doctor said, head hanging low. "What about a surgery. We wil spend how much ever you want. Bring in the best surgeons of the world. Please save my son, please" the mom pleaded.

"I'm sorry ma'am. I really am but he won't survive the surgery. It has spread a lot. The chances of a favourable outcome is really low. We might lose him during the surgery." The doctor said as the mother wailed more.

"The only thing we can do now is the chemo therapy and intake of medicines." "How many more months do i have??" The boy finally spoke, taking his eyes off the paper towards the pitied eyes of the doctor.

"Maximum 6 months." The boy nodded as he stood up. "Thank you doctor. Mom, dad lets go. I'm sick of this smell" he said as he swiftly took his bag. Bashing out of the room, fastening his pace as he walked his way down the stairs.

Those 3 words replaying in his mind continuously.

"Highest 6 months"

Scoffing at the thought as he mumbled those three words again and again. Not looking forward as he walked in a unhealthy speed. Tears threatening to fall off his eyes, trying to hold it back as he intensively rubbed his eyes.

Feeling his world go against him all of a sudden. Everything was really good until yesterday. Until he spat out blood out of nowhere and came to this hospital.

Looking down as he walked along the corridors. Not really noticing the people he was bumping. Hitting his head against another head as he fell down. A intense pain shot up as he rubbed his forehead.

Opening his eyes as he saw another fragile body fell opposite to him. "Can't you see while you walk!!" He spat out. Slowly standing up as he dusted himself off. "You should have seen where your going it's not only my fault!" The little girl yelled back as she tried standing up but instantly failed, falling back down.

"Fuck off!!" He howled, walking past her. Not really minding any of the of the commotion that was going on behind him as he walked out of the hospital.

"Do-yeon-na!!" A nurse came running towards her holding a tray of medicines. Putting it down as she helped her stand up. Scanning for any injuries as she dusted her off. "I'm fine Ms.Choi, it's alright" she said feebly.

Slow coughs slowly turning into heavy ones. "You okay??" Ms.Choi asked voice filled with concern, patting her back as she tried to slow down her coughs. Do Yeon spat out blood as she kept coughing. Visions turning black as she closed her eyes. Collapsing on the floor.

"Do-yeon!!"

------------------------------

Chapter 2

"Do-yeon...doctor had told you to not scream didn't he??" The mother asked in a stern but calming voice to not scare the child off.

"Yea but-" "No but's if the doctor has advised something try to follow it!" The father yelled startling the young one. "Yes father"she said feebly, nodding her head up and down very fast "I CANT HEAR YOU!"

"Yes father" this time with a bit more energy. "Good now we are going back home don't you dare make a scene here" he said, leaving the room as she finally left the breath she didn't know she was holding.

A tear slowly rolled down her cheeks as she felt lonely all of a sudden again. The room drop silent as the ticking sound of the clock echoed the room. Staring out the window as she imagined a perfect teenage life she had always wanted.

Closed up in these four walls since childhood. Coming in and out of the hospital every few months.

Losing a lot of classes when she finally dropped out of school. She never knew the particular reason why she got sick often. But until one fine night when she spit out blood and her parents took her to the hospital.

That night changed everything. Getting permanently stuck inside these four walls. Denying all surgery requests as she thought this was her fate and that she would not survive a surgery.

Too caught up in her thoughts. The door opened as the nurse entered the room. Behind her stood a tiny boy.

"Do-yeon" she called out as the girl just stayed there spaced out. "Do-yeon it's time to take your medicines" she said, moving towards her, bringing a trolly along with her.

Shaking the little girl bringing her out of her trance. "What were you thinking soo deeply that you didn't even hear me call you??" Ms. Choi asked, pouring the medicine onto a spoon.

Bringing it towards her mouth as she sucked in all the bitter liquid. "I guess i spaced out for a bit" she said showing Ms. Choi a small smile. "Well your not alone anymore" the girl raised an eyebrow as she asked for a completion of the sentence.

"You've got a roomate!!" The nurse said excitedly, clapping her hands as she pointed at the boy who stood there clueless.

Turning her head as she meet those eyes. "I know this is soo sudden but.." all the words inaudible to her as a warm feeling filled her inside. The once cold heart slowly getting warmer as she stared into those eyes.

"Yeon??" Ms Choi shook her. The warmness instantly dropping off. "Spaced out again??" She asked as the girl nodded. Finally turning again to meet the boys eyes whose eyes were already on her.

Feeling oddly familiar as the scene played once more. "Why do you seem soo familiar" she mumbled as she moved her head closer, inspecting the boy top to bottom. The same happening with the boy as he tried to remember who she was.

A gasp left their mouths together as they finally remembered. "You're!-" "You are the boy who pushed me down the hallway a day ago!!!" She half yelled "Seriously i can't believe I have to share a room with you..wow" the boy said poking his inner cheeks.

"As if I'm pleased to give you my room" "This ain't your room!" "Yes it is mine!" "Okay okay now kiddos you guys seem to have a bad start but let's just forget about whatever incident your speaking of-" "But Ms. Choi he was the one who pushed my in the hallway yesterday!! And it's because of him i screamed!!" "And now your screaming again. Calm down" the nurse patted her back as do-yeon took deep breaths.

"Don't you have any other rooms here miss. I don't wanna share one with this weakling" "Excuse me. Who the hell are you calling a weakling" trying her best to dominate but her body betraying her. Coughing blood out as the nurse brought her to the bathroom.

Throwing up all the items she ate the day before mixed with some blood. Washing her face, drinking some water as she exited the bathroom. "I told you not to scream" the nurse said as she wiped the tiny girls palms "I'm sorry Ms. Choi but how can I be calm when he looks down on me? And disrespect me??" Her voice feebler than the wind. Walking inside the room to see he had already set up his stuffs on the other bed.

"Seems like you have adjusted well, i see" ms. Choi spoke, holding the girl by her arms "Look here weakling, there is no other way we have to share this room, don't you dare invade my privacy. This is my place and that's yours" he said pointing out at the small line he had drawn on the floor to seperate their spaces.

Having no power to talk back she weakly nodded walking back to her bed. "Well then I'll leave you guys now." Ms. Choi said as she rolled the trolly out the room, exiting the room herself.

Silence filled the room as the girl closed her eyes, drifting off to dream land. The boy scribbling something on a sketch book.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Sir, we gotta start the procedures as soon as possible if not your daughter's survival rate is..." A sigh left the doctors mouth. The parents nodded. "We will try to convince her" the mother spoke, looking at her husband next to her. "Thank you doctor" with that both of them left the room.

-----------------------------------

Chapter 3

Waking up to a scratching sound as she groaned. Covering her ears with the sheet. Continuous scratching noise, she finally gave up sitting up straight.

"What the hell are doing this late at night!!" She half yelled. "Don't yell. Your gonna throw up again" Renjun mumbled as he continued shading.

"Why do you care" she asked. He just shrugged his shoulders giving all his attention towards the drawing infront of him. As a curious kid she is, she peaked her head trying to figure out what he was drawing.

Walking towards his bed but before she could step across the line his head shot up towards her.

"Your crossing the line" he said making her snort. "Pfft..I'm not curious on what your drawing" "I never asked" he refuted as she searched for a counter attack.

Not being able to find anything to say she fell back onto the bed. The scratching continued as she fell into her dreamland , damn curious on what he was drawing on that book. Can't he sleep or what.

••••••••••••••••••••

"Renjun-a" a voice called out as the boy turned his head to meet the eyes he had longed to meet. "Grandma" he feebly voiced out.

Standing up from the chair. A tear slowly rolling down his cheeks. A small smile plastered on his face.

"My dear child" she breathed out as they both hugged each other. "I missed you soo much grandma" he whispered, tucking his head deeper into her neck.

"I missed you too my peanut." Both staying in each others arms as they took in all the warmth they missed when they were apart.

Both the parents looking fondly at their interaction. Finally seeing a smile on their boys face.

Way past on the other side of the garden stayed three people sitting on a bench facing the sea. Tension filled the air.

Fear taking over the small girl as she pondered upon why her parents came to visit her. It was really rare they ever visited her. Though they cared for her. They were really busy.

Her father's voice cut her from her thoughts. "Do-yeon" his stern commanding voice sending shivers down her spine.

"Yes dad" "I love you and you know that right" no you don't mean it from your heart she nodded turning her head as she looked into those fresh black eyes.

They were different from what they were. Those two eyes which were filled with confidence, now filled with hesitation.

"Yeon-a. You know how much I want you to get alright and get back to school??" He said, keeping a hand on her shoulder. She nodded her head, looking down at her fiddling fingers.

"Do the surgery dear. Everything will get back to normal and It's for your best"

"But i don't wanna. One way or the other even after i do the surgery i am gonna keep visiting the hospital.

Gonna lose a lot of classes in school. You know how hard it is for me to keep up with all that is being taught dad.

You say that everything will go back to normal once I do the surgery but what you don't know is it's gonna be exactly the same for me. At times i feel i better die off"

She said. Standing up from the bench as she looked at both of her parents. Eyes pleading for her to say yes for the surgery.

"How much ever you people try i ain't gonna do the surgery. If that's what you people came for you can go.

I don't wanna waste your precious time" she said as she walked off. Tears slowly rolling down.

Ofcourse what else did i expect. They would never waste their time for just visiting me.

••••••••••••••••••••••

Chapter 4

It had been two weeks since Renjun moved into the hospital. Things had been quite slow for Renjun. Days passing by like a sloth.

He spent most of his day scribbling one thing or another on his drawing book.

His body becoming weaker and weaker day by day. But he didn't mind them. He went on trying his best to radiate a positive vibe.

Do-yeon on the other hand looked like a lost soul searching for her ray of hope. Days went by as her eyes bags became more prominent.

Not being able to sleep all night. A sharp sensation constantly hitting her head. Throwing up all the contents the minute she finished eating. Days were really turning hard for her.

"Do-yeon-na medicine" Ms. Choi called out, entering the room with her trolly. Renjun gave her a small smile then continued his work.

Do-yeon didn't really pay any attention to the nurses voice. Staring out the window. Eyes fixed on the leaves moving in sync with the wind. Opening her mouth for the liquid as it made its way down her throat.

Bitterness hitting her mouth but she was used to this. Not giving ms.choi a glance as she continued looking out. Ms. Choi left out a sigh as she looked at the kid with pity eyes.

Pushing her trolly back as she made her way past her bed. "Ms.choi" Renjun called out. Her head turning towards him.

"What's wrong with her??" He asked. He was curious indeed. Seeing her once bright eyes turning soul less. Not bickering with him nor talking back to him.

The room felt empty even with her presence. Almost like she was not even existing. She had become more silent. Opening her mouth only for the medicine and only when she felt discomfort.

"Why is she like this??" He asked, looking into the nurses eyes for an answer. "You both are affected with the same disease. Pancreatic cancer. But she is just being diagnosed with a variation.

We aren't confirmed of the varient yet. And a way to find the varient.. it's impossible ." The nurse stopped for a second. "But she can survive??" Renjun asked as she nodded her head. "Yup but with a surgery" "Then why isn't she doing it??" "She keeps denying it i don't know why" the nurse said looking at the girl sitting on the bed.

"Maybe cause even if she lives she is scared that her life would go back to those days" she said. "Which days??" Renjun asked, the nurses body stiffening. He felt it was wrong to go deep into her life but he was curious.

"MS.CHOI!!" A voice called out. Ms Choi excused herself as she left the room. Leaving a answer-less Renjun.

He turned his head to see a girl lost in a trance. Her eyes pleading to save her. Face showing no emotions as she stared at those trees far away in the beach.

He sighed as he looked at the drawing he drew. A small smile drawn upon his face on looking at it. I hope to see you smile like this one day.

----------------

"How is his condition doctor??" Scanning the boys x-ray as he pointed at the spread. White continuous dots filled everywhere covering a lot of space.

"It's pretty same. It hasn't spread much than the last time. It has slowed down. So as of now it's the same" the doctor said.

"There is no way to save him??" His father asked once more. He wanted nothing more than to see his son laughing and walking down the hill with his friends on his way to school.

"As I told before a surgery is too dangerous. We can lose him" the doctor said as the parents sighed in defeat. Nodding their head as they thanked them.

Staying with their son for a few more hours after which they bid their goodbyes.

He entered his room to see her already asleep on her bed. Not disturbing her, he switched off the lights. Silently falling onto his bed.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 5

Silence lingered the air. Only sounds of pencil scribbles being heard. Do-yeon layed on her bed facing the ceiling. Eyes fixed on the stars she had stuck when she first came to the hospital.

Ears picking up a small tune which Renjun hummed giving her comfort. Closing her eyes as for the first time in a few weeks that sharp sensation didn't hit her head. Finding her peace in his voice as she feel asleep to it.

"What the hell!!" Her father shouted, throwing the papers at her face. His face red filled with anger. "You think I'm a stupid working my ass off 24/7 to make you study just for you to get such marks!!" The man yelled while the girl poured out silent tears.

"If i see such marks once again your dead" the man warned. Bashing out the room leaving the girl there drowning in self regret.

"What did I do wrong..." The girl mumbled. The words getting completely inaudible towards the end until she completely broke down.

Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks wetting the sheets while Renjun stood there not really knowing whether to wake the girl up or not.

"Umm..god i don't even remember her name" he whispered, slowly nearing the shaking girl. "Hey..." Slowly bringing forth his hand towards her shoulder.

"Hey it's alright" he mumbled. He didn't know what made him do this but he felt he had to. The girl mumbling inaudible dialogues, more tears fell off her cheeks. Her eyes shot open and she sat up straight. Vision blurred with tears.

The only thing visible was a silhouette in front of her. Heavy breaths ran through the air as beads of sweat fell off her forehead. Renjun felt his heart drop looking at the girls state. Her tear stained doe eyes looking straight at him.

"Hey it's alright. It was just a dream." He slowly mumbled in a soothing voice as he brought her closer to his chest. Patting her shoulders in a soothing pattern he hummed a small tune.

She closed her eyes as the unknown warmth spread all over her. Sniffing, her heavy breaths slowly dying down as she calmed herself down drifting back into her sleep in his arms.

Renjun slowly laid her down, pulling the sheets up as he brushed the hair off her forehead. Rubbing the prominent sweat on her forehead. Pushing his legs towards his bed but before he could actually fall on to it, his head hit the floor.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The sun rose to it's high as it shined brighter than yesterday. Her eyes squeezed tight as the bright light hit her face. Groaning she turned around pulling the sheets up, covering her head. Mumbled words being heard, she peaked her head out of the blanket.

"What happened??" The concerned nurses voice came through as the girl perked her ears up. "The boy fainted." A unknown voice spoke up. "His condition is getting worse and there's nothing we can do about"

"That's what itches every single part of me! He is such a good boy why?" The nurse whisper yelled, careful not to wake the sleeping girl, who was now full awake, listening keenly to the conversation.

He fainted!! Oh lord.

"Let's see how much this boys holds up." "He is a strong one" the nurse said to which the doctor nodded. "He can wake up any time. Just lemme know then" with that the doctor left the room.

"Oh you poor thing..." The nurse pitied the boy who now layed peacefully on his bed. Unaware of anything that was happening around him, he wandered around the utopian world he had wished to live.

"What happened to him??" Her low raspy morning voice sounding weaker than usual caught the attention of the nurse.

"Oh you're awake! How do you feel??" The nurse asked walking next to her, keeping her palm on doyeon's forehead she nodded her head affirmatively.

"Your fevers down." "Wait i had fever??" "Yup you had it slightly when you went to sleep but don't worry your all good now" the nurse replied, showing her a short smile.

Slowly moving off the bed she dragged her way towards the bathroom to refresh herself.

The bright light invading her eyes as she squinted at the sudden burst of luminosity. Adjusting to light as she finally opened up her eyes to find her reflection on the mirror

Pale

Thin

Hanging eyelids

And pitch red eyes

She looked sick and she hated it. She hated all of this. She always wondered what wrong did she do in life for this. But she never seemed to find an answer.

Suffering since birth, while the hospital became her second home. She despised all of this, this room, that crystal white sheets, the sickening hospital smell, those bitter liquids she drank every 5 hrs, constant checking, always under surveillance.

All of it. She loathed all of this. Always wondering if she could ever escape this loop.

What wrong did i do to deserve this??

-------------------------

Chapter 6

The warm wind brushed past the pair of two that sat on the either corners of the bench as an awkward tension ran around the atmosphere.

The sun shining brightly under then in this serene atmosphere as the warmth of the sunshine spread all around the hospital grounds.

Fiddling with the hem of her skirt she tried to look everywhere else other than the boy who's eyes were already on her.

A long sigh from Renjun made her look towards him. "What??" "What??" She just shook her head in dismay as she looked at the grounds infront of her. Patients walking, some with support some without.

A slight cold wind brushed past her as she shivered under her skin. Feeling colder than usual, it felt strange.

"It's cold! Why did they make me sit here?!??" She grumbled as she stood up, rubbing her arms in order to find some warmth.

Renjun raised an brow as he looked at the bright sunlight dawned upon her. Her face lighting up bright which slightly brought up her tired face. One that's hasn't had a proper sleep for days.

"The sun's shinning brightly why is it cold for you??" He enquired as he pulled up a coat he held onto for when the sun settled down and the weather became colder.

Putting it over her shoulders to which she slightly flinched looking over at him as he brought up his hand to her forehead. His eyes squinted due to the sunlight as he kept a hand on his own forehead, comparing the temperatures.

"What are you doing??" She slowly mumbled. "Checking your temperature idiot." He whispered to which she backed off.

"I'm not having a fever!!" She defended as he pulled her by the hem of her shirt. "Stay still you might be running down a temperature" his stern voice making her quiet as she stayed there looking at him exchange hands until he finally pulled her inside, walking fastly round the corridors.

"Where are we going??" "To the nurse your having fever" he said but before she could even reply he called out loudly for the nurse. Pulling her around the corridor he didn't notice the girl getting weaker.

"Renjun..." Her voice came out as an mere whisper which went unheard by the boy. Nauseousness hitting her as her head felt heavy. "Renjun..." A little more louder which caught the boys ears.

He turned to look at the girls eyes falling heavy. She looked exhausted. "Oh shit you weren't allowed to walk fastly..." Her legs betraying her as she slipped but before hitting the ground a warm pair of hands clasped around her waist.

Holding her up securely as she looked into his eyes. An unknown warmth spread in her as she felt safe in his arms. A sense of security filled her until she closed her eyes.

The boy looked bewildered as he stared at the girl. "Do-yeon!!" The nurses voice came out as Renjun looked back to see Ms.Choi running towards them.

Fastly he picked her up, though he himself was pretty exhausted he eventually carried the girl to her ward.

Settling her on the bed the doctor rushed inside the room. Renjun made his way out the room as he looked through the small window on the door.

How her delicate body layed peacefully on the bed as the doctor checked up on her. The slow talks of the doctor and the nurse being heard lightly through the door.

"She can survive, but only if she does the surgery"

The doctors words replayed in his mind as a state of irateness over the doctor and the universe filled him. He didn't know why but he felt anger fill him.

An anger for the girl who was as bright as sunshine, seeing her whiter away created a state of fury in him. The girl right now was completely different from whom she was when he entered the hospital.

Sign of life slowly slipping away from her made him soften for her. His thoughts were interrupted when the doctor came out with the nurse. "It was just exhaustion. She hasn't been sleeping these days??" The doctor asked to which the nurse showed a disappointed nod.

"She really has to do the surgery in order to survive" the doctors voice echoed through renjuns ears as he looked at the pair of converse a bit more until the nurse bid her goodbye. The doctors gaze fell on renjun, which came as a mere surprise.

"How you holding up buddy?? You feeling good??" "Yea i don't feel sick as of now" he replied as the doctor nodded his head.

"Don't walk too much and also don't carry someone" pointing towards the peacefully sleeping girl the doctor patted his shoulders.

"Take care bud" with that he left as Renjun turned around to look at the steadily raising heart beat of hers along with tiny breaths.

Somewhere deep down his heart a light shined making him want to hold her tight, help her, most importantly see her alive, happy.

Taking a deep breath he entered the room, taking out the only book he treasured the most he opened it as he started scribbling.

The day passing by as the sun completely settled down leaving the sky pitch black while the stars shined in it. The weather becoming colder as the time ticked by.

Wanting nothing more than fresh air the girl rushed her way out the room towards the stairs way up.

Opening the door as the gush of pushed her hair back, she breathed in all the air as she finally felt alive.

Walking towards the seat she slowly settled herself on it before gazing at the stars. Admiring how perfect they looked and how bright they shined.

The cold wind sent goosebumps all around her body to which she slightly shivered.

Rubbing her arms to find warmth but instead it came with a jacket that slowly hung up on her. Turning around to see Renjun behind her she flinched.

"What are you doing here??" She asked as he tsked. "What are you doing here at the middle of the night when the temperature is damn low with just wearing the hospital gown??"

"I just wanted some fresh air" she mumbled as she turned to look at the sky which were now covered with some clouds.

"You should have brought someone with you!! What will happen if you faint again like you did in the morning-??" "Why do you even care??" She cut him off as he gave her a side look. "Cause I don't want the doctors to run around in the room at the middle of night!" He commented which made her roll her eyes.

"Nothing will happen sir, no doctors will come. You are here now right. If anything even happens you are there to take me" she replied moving a bit closer to him as she found and unknown warmth spread through her warming her whole body.

"What am your bodyguard now??" He questioned while she gave no mind to it as she relaxed in that night air. Coming to the senses that she won't reply him he relaxed himself in the nights air he sat a bit deeper in the chair after which he felt a weight in his shoulders.

Eyeing to his side he found her side profile partially lit under the moonlight. Her features early visible as a small puff smoke left her mouth every time she breathed.

"You tired??" He whispered to which she shook her head. "Your are warm" she mumbled before moving closer. Finding some sort of connectivity to his body she moved closer before falling deeper into the night with the slow chirping of the birds along with the crowded floors noises.

Her eyelids fell heavy before she fell asleep after a week of no sleep in his presence under his warmth.

-------------------------

Chapter 7

"How's school??" The boy enquired while walking down the pathway of the hospital. Constant chatting of the staffs while some rushed noises along with some distant cries filled the atmosphere as the 7 boys walked aimlessly around the grounds.

"It's the same as usual. Shit. I can't wait for you to come back to school, it feels so lonely without ya" the middle one spoke as the boys nodded their heads.

A defeated sigh left renjuns mouth, all the attention turning towards him as he let out a hollow laugh.

"I don't think i can come back guys I'm sorry" he whispered is a very low tone as the rest halted.

"No don't say that, don't be sorry, be positive, no one knows when a miracle will happen, who knows maybe by the end of this month they will find a cure for ur disease and you will be all well graduating with us next year, don't lose hope please" the eldest begged while holding his arm tight.

Renjun could only nod weakly giving him a fake smile, a one that didn't hold any sincerity, a one that mark was afraid of seeing. His smile which was worth a thousand words was now just a simple fake one.

That hurt them. Everyone living in their own utopian world, when the reality of Renjun being actually sick and that his tomorrow is not promised, scared them.

Always being together ever since they can remember, the feeling of one of their best friend leaving them forever from this world felt foreign and unbelievable.

Haechan slowly pushed his hand round renjuns shoulder as he nudged him. Giving him a reassuring smile, he started walking.

"You are gonna be completely alright, don't worry bud, just wait and see this time next year we will be having our graduation party which will have every single food that you love" he reassured him as they all chanted a chorus of 'yes' before walking into the hospital.

Do-yeon layed there staring vacantly into space, her uniform heavy breaths mixed with the slow beeping of the heart monitor played as the background sound, she melted into the atmosphere as she became anonymous to the exterior.

Renjun sat on his bed staring at a newly brought hard cover book, wondering what he could do with it. Turning around to see the girl completely detached from the world something bloomed inside of him.

He didn't know what that was but a sense of endearment came into him. Just as he was floating deep into his own dream world the door bursted open while two individuals walked straight into the room.

Their eyes on the girl spaced out girl who seemed to have no idea of the sudden barging of the two people. Glancing at her and at the two people Renjun felt tension and anger rise in up.

Feeling a bit stressed under their gazes he felt something was wrong. Their eyes fell on him before it ran to the girl. The woman slowly walking up to spaced girl as her eyes softened at her tired state.

"Do-yeon.." her voice came out feebly but went unknown to the girl.

Holding her shoulder as the mother embraced the girl in a hug to which the girl flinched at the sudden contact with something warm.

Her cold body coming in contact with the warm ones of her mother as tears slowly flowed down the mother's cheeks.

The father slowly walked up to the two, gaze never leaving them as the boy became invisible to them. The girl slowly becoming aware of her surrounding and what that was actually happening it felt foreign.

The love, affection and attention she was recieving right now felt foreign. "Mom..." Coming out as a mere whisper her hands slowly travelled up to her mother's shoulders as she pushed her head deeper into her mother's neck.

The motherly scent that was totally forgotten now infiltrated her nostrils as she felt tenderness fill in her.

Those delicate touches by her mother was somehow making her better, making her forget about the sick feeling for that particular minute.

Pulling apart as the mother met those drained irises staring right back at her. "Mom..." She murmured as more tears fell off.

"Shh, don't cry" the mother slowly rubbed off the falling tears. "It's alright. It's gonna be alright" she comforted while rubbing her back in a soothing pattern.

"It hurts so bad" she wailed while the rest three couldn't do much but listen to her pour out all the hardships she was going through right now.

"It's gonna be alright" was all her mother could say as they hugged each other. The boy feeling that he was somehow interupting a family reunion he slowly made his way out the room before fleeing off to the rooftop.

------------------------------

Chapter 8

"How many times have I told you not to go out alone!" The doctor in a rather harshed tone yelled while the boys head hung low, fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt. The girl just stared at the doctor then at the half drained boy.

"I was just-" "You were just what! You have any idea how bad your condition is getting?? You act like you are all well but as a doctor I know what you are going through.... Renjun..."

Voice getting softer towards the end the doctor kept a comforting hand on his shoulders as the boys eyes met the concerned ones of the doctor.

"Please rest as much as you can, don't overwork yourself cause your condition ain't getting any better" he repeated once again before prescribing some more medicines as leaving the room.

Those words hit him. Your condition ain't getting any better. Hating the feeling of fear that his life is gonna end brewing up in him as he shook his head.

A tear slid down his soft cheeks as he forcefully rubbed it off. Hating that small drop of salt water. He hated crying, he felt it made him weak, but how much ever he tried he couldn't stop it.

As each tear fell he rubbed them instantly not letting them wet his cheeks. But the more they poured the more weaker he became.

"No...don't cry you're not weak" trying his best to calm himself down he took deep breaths, letting his head fall back.

But nothing worked, the pain never disappeared, it kept hurting the more he tried to ignore it. Small sobs slowly being let out he shut his eyes tightly.

A warm hand slid on his shoulders before his head was pulled towards a warm surface.

"It's okay, let it out. You can cry. If you're thinking crying makes you weak no it doesn't, it makes you stronger. Cry and you'll feel better"

Her soft voice rang through his ears as his wails became louder, filling the room. Pouring all of his pain out in the form of tears as he slowly let his weaker side out.

Being vulnerable under her touch he let out more painful sobs as the girl felt her heart drop at the sound of his wails.

After all he was just like her, losing his teenage life just to be forced into this four walls for the rest of his life until he let out his last breath. She hated the world for being this cruel, always wondering what wrong did people like her do to even recieve such a life.

When he should now probably be enjoying his life with his friends hanging out late at night, while breaking his head for school exams and tests, here he is crying his heart out in pain everyday as he tried to stay positive and alive.

All of a sudden she just wanted him to be happy and for him to live the life she wanted to have.

A happy hospital free worry free life.

His sobs slowly died down as he cleared his throat. His eyes blurry while the dried tears stained his rosy cheeks.

His vision solely focused on the what that was infront of him as he felt her warm hands unknowingly comforting. Her hands soothingly rubbing through his hair as he gave into her touch.

Feeling a sense secureness and warmth in her touch he leaned to it.

"Can we just stay like this for a while??" His voice quavered while his hushed tone loud enough for her broke the silence.

Her hum rang through his ears as he finally gave into the heavy feeling of his eyes when he finally closed it. Falling into her embrace as he pushed his head deeper into her abdomen.

A small black hole visible for him infront as he fell deeper into the hole of sleep.

The girl carefully placed the boys head on the pillow as it fell a bit deeper on the sudden weight of his head.

His peacefully sleeping figure layed there on his bed as his rythmic breaths accompanied by the constant noise of the heart rate monitor filled the air.

Staring at the boy for a few minutes before her eyes betrayed. Slogging her way towards her bed as she fell onto it. Pulling the covers upto her chin, the heater noise along with his breathing came out to be a perfect background noise as the girl fell asleep.

The constant breathing of the two diffused in the air as the two individuals stared at them.

"How much longer doctor??" The bitter voice of the nurse popped up as the doctor sighed in bitterness. "The boy not longer than 4 months.

He is getting worse faster than expected. The girl still has a chance. She can survive the surgery even at the last month of her life. Only if she'd agree for the surgery..." His voice dragged through the end as he tapped the board on his hand.

"Theres nothing else we can do. Just wait and see and leave it to god" he ended before leaving the room along with the nurse.

All of this was not went unheard by that one boy. He heard them everything well and clear, crystal clear.

------------------------------

Chapter 9

The girl slowly walked through the pathway as the cool morning breeze blew her hair back. Closing her eyes as she soaked in the wetness of the sea hitting her.

The sea smell infiltrating her nostrils as she fantasized herself standing on the sea shore, her leg dipped in the cold salt liquid.

Her eyes trailed on the approaching waves as it splashed itself on the soft sand wetting it. Keenly staring at the way the birds that flew across the sea as she wished herself to be one of them. Oh! How nice it would be to fly freely without worrying about anything.

"Do you wish to be there that much??" His voice brought her out of her trance as she completely forgot about his presence. Turning to see him pointing at the same spot she was staring at a few seconds ago.

Bringing her vision back to sea as she nodded. "Yes. That's all I've ever wanted." She replied, remembering all the times she begged her parents to bring her to the sea

"-Running across the shore freely without fainting. Soaking in all the happiness" her voice held so much determination and her eyes sparkled as she spoke.

Renjun felt a feeling of wanting to take her there and show her all that she missed. Taking her hand in his he pulled her.

"Come on let's go there" "What no I'm not supp-" not letting her finish her sentence he pulled her across the pathway towards the sea.

Steps catching up to his she paced her way through the walk path when her feet finally hit the sand. Not believing she was actually there she halted as she stared at the boy then at the sea.

At her sudden stop made the boy to turn to see the girl staring at him. Raising a brow, he released a questioned hum. "Am I really here ??" Her whisper like tone spread throught the air as a chuckle left his mouth.

Nodding his head as a smile adorned his face. Not waiting a second a body collided with his as he tripped a bit before steadying himself. "Thank you...thank you soo much" her mumbled voice through his neck vibrated all over him.

"Your always welcome" he replied in a sweet tone before hugging her back. Butterflies roamed around his tummy as he tried his best to try and ignore it but it just wouldn't stop.

Feeling his cheeks heat up."Wanna run across the shore??" He questioned as she nodded vigorously, before running towards.

Shouting at the top of her lungs as she laughed her atmost that morning. Renjun admired her from afar as the girl splashed water giggling at the sudden impact of the wave.

Recalling his memories with his parents on the shore a tear slowly slid down his cheeks. The reality of not being able to experience those days again hit him as he pushed his feet towards her.

If not now then when?

Joining her the both spent their morning right there under the bright sunlight. Just them both but it was all that they needed.

A perfect company for one another as they enjoyed to the top.

Not wanting more than all the days to be like that particular day she pushed up all her limits and played to her best.

Having a feeling that this particular day won't comeback again, and that this won't be possible once again they both entertained themselves with each other.

Time fleeted away as the sun rose up to the top. Both fell down on the soft sandbed as they stared at the waves. Rythmic breaths filled the air as they both stayed there in a comfortable silence before the noise of Ms Choi interrupted it.

"Do-yeon! Renjun!" Yelping the both individuals stood up as they laughed all their way towards the hospital.

Whatever happened they would never forget that one morning even if one dies they will always treasure those couple of hours where they didn't feel sick a minute.

They really were like normal teenagers for that few hours.

------------------------

Chapter 10

Unceasingly she bit her nails, her legs moved up and down as she questioned her own feelings.

Was she really falling for him?? No way. There won't be any way she was developing feelings for him. She hated him, but something stopped her from thinking that way.

His laugh, his smile, the way he comforted her every other night she woke up crying, his warm delicate touch, everything, just everything about him enthralled her.

One the other hand she questioned if he had developed something for her. Not a chance someone would like someone like her. Weak, pale, thin, malnourished, mostly sick. Feeling insecure about her appearance she hugged herself.

The rain drops fell heavy as it wet the window leaving its mark on it. The sky filled with clouds not letting the moon shine. Her eyes kept falling on the boy who kept scribbling something on a new found book.

Not leaving an eye her vision was stuck on the boy. Feeling a heavy stare on him he turned to meet two irises staring at him. "What??" The voice pushed her out of her thoughts as she blinked heavily, "Hmm?? Oh nothing" shaking her head in a vigour she pushed herself off the bed, walking towards the jug as she poured herself a cup.

Gulping down the hot liquid as it warmed the cold body she put the glass down, looking out at the rain it caught her eyes. A sudden want to go out and explore the rain, drowing in the droplets filled her. Walking towards the door slowly, carefull not to alert the boy.

"Where are you going??" His voice came through making her turn around, slightly alarmed. "To the rooftop" "It's raining" he stated out pointing towards the window.

A short whine left her mouth before rubbing her feet on the floor towards her bed. "But i wanna watch the rain from the rooftop" she mumbled before settling herself on the bed. "But it's raining"

"Exactly! I wanna atleast once drown in the rain, looking right up at the sky while the droplets fall- nevermind i can't" her voice getting lower the more longer she went.

Her wish of wanting nothing much than to finish off all that she hasn't done all her life until now before she dies off seemed to be getting fulfilled one by one since Renjun came into her life but a part of her felt she was using him.

"Come on wear this" Renjun put forward his raincoat as her gaze fell on it. "For what??" "You said you wanted to go watch the rain right. Wear this so you won't get wet" "What about you??" She asked as he stared at her.

"I'll be alright" "No. I can't allow that," "You wanna see the rain outside or not" his voice becoming more harsh. She nodded reluctantly before he pushed the raincoat onto her. A sigh of defeat came out of her while he gave no mind to it, closing the open book.

Putting it on she felt a part of her excited while the other guilty. One that he was getting wet the other she felt she used him for making all her wishes come true. It would be him who would get in trouble because of her.

Hesitantly walking towards him she pulled his shirt. "Shall we??" "Won't we get scolded for this??" "Whats the fun we are allowed to do so. Fun's in breaking the rules. Rules are meant to be broken" he spoke showing her a reassuring smile before pulling her across the hallway towards the stairs.

A small spark inside her glowed as her face lit up. Eyes staring at the constant flow of water droplets falling off the sky as she took a step forward into the rain.

And there it was the first droplet that made its mark on her face as she closed her eyes. Soaking in the wetness she put forth her palms as a small puddle of water formed in them.

Renjun stood there in the shade careful not to wet himself admiring the girl. Turning around to see his eyes on her she giggled.

"Thank you once again" she whispered showing him a wide smile, he just returned her a eye smile which held a thousand words that no one could ever form into a sentence.

Splashing through the water the girl ran across the rooftop but not far away from the view of the boy. His warning of never leaving his sight kept running through her mind as the space for him in her heart only increased.

Running across she finally came to a halt right infront of the boy. He slowly took his step forward as the first drop fell right on him before it flooded on him.

"Your not wearing a raincoat your gonna catch a cold" she whispered before trying to pushing him inside but was stopped by his arms.

"Nope your wet then it won't be fair if I'm all dry right. We need to be fair" he whispered before looking into her eyes deeply. For a second she felt his stare fall onto her lips but she just brushed it off.

Staring into his eyes that was glistening under the night she searched for breath. For a second even her eyes caught his pink lips that was wet due to the rain.

Something about that night was different than the other nights. Something in that night made his eyes speak more than its supposed to. Something in that night sparked a feeling of wanting to live in her. A part of her believed it was because of him.

------------------

Chapter 11

"Achoo!!" The loud sneeze rang through the atmosphere as the doctor took in a sharp breath rubbing the girls back.

"Achoo!!" The nurses stare fell onto the boy before her eyes widened. "Even you went out?!?" "I was the one who took her" he whispered rubbing his nose before sneezing into a tissue.

"You kids" shaking her head she took another bowl of hot water before placing it infront of him. Pushing the vapours towards his side as he took in all the warmth.

"Feeling good?? Both of you??" Concerned voice of the doctor made the both shake their head vigorously. "Can you just not let my parents know?? Pretty pleasee" Do-yeon pleaded making the doctor sigh in defeat.

"Fine but don't you both dare do this stupidity once again. If i see you guys doing this again I'll lock you both in this room after 8"

Both the teenagers nodded their head in assurance before the nurse and doctor left the room.

"Oh how much have they changed" the nurse stated as she looked at them through the glass. "What made you say that??"

"They so couldn't stand each other's presence at first, but i guess they are after all adjusting to each other and letting each other in" the nurse ended as they walked away.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"Renjun..." The called out as the stinging sensation in her head only increased. The haunting image of her father floating right above her only became more clearer the more she tried to focus.

"INJUN..." Her voice came out a little bit louder as the eyes of the boy opened.

Holding her chest as she searched for air. Tears filled her vision as she gasped. Shooting upright as she panicked.

Renjun slowly rubbed his eyes as his he looked onto his side only to find her in a panicked state. "Hey..hey ca-calm down. Don't panick. Look I'm right here.

Nothing's gonna happen. Take deep breaths. Come on follow me. Deep breath in and out..come on in and ...out" he continued as she followed him.

His arm right on her shoulder in a comforting way as he rubbed it softly. "It hurts... It hurts so bad. My he-head it-" "Hey hey it's alright. Look at me it's alright." Pushing her head towards his chest he slowly rubbed her head as he whispered soothing words.

Eventually she calmed down as the image of her father slowly disappeared. "Don't go" her words came out like a mere whisper as she held onto his moomin pajamas. "I won't go anywhere I'm right here." He whispered while rubbing of the sweat on her forehead.

Tears flowed down unhurried as she stared into the void. Head rested on his abdomen as she took shallow breaths. "Feeling better??" His voice cut through the silent atmosphere as she nodded, leisurely pushing her head off his stomach before her eyes fell on his.

A warm feeling of safety filled in her as she felt the broken whole mend a bit in her. Something about him always caught her attention, always.

He was always there whenever she needed someone to learn on, someone to cry onto to, a shoulder.

He made her feel safe, secure and most importantly he gave her the want to live.

Just a feeling of how good it would be if only she wasnt stuck in this four walls, only if she wasnt sick as was like a normal teenager.

"Want to spill it out??" He asked worriedly after looking at her eyes which held no emotions. He felt his heart drop.

Those eyes which were content, jovial were now dejected and downhearted. "It's just the nightmares that haunted me once reappearing" she spoke, her voice dry and hoarse due to lack of intake of water.

Renjun sighed before taking a glass of water from the table and handing it over to her. Drinking the content till no drop was left a satisfactory noise left her lips.

Wiping of the excess water on her lips with the edge of the shirt, she looked back at him. "What's wrong??" Her feeble voice struck in his mind as he felt the once held out feeling appear out, wanting to make her pour out all her worries onto him he asked the question he wanted to ask but held in for a long time.

"Wanna talk about what happened when your parents came the other day??"

---------------------------

Chapter 12

"My parents they..." Her voice trembled a bit as she held onto the sheets tightly. Renjun sat there on his bed facing her as he waited patiently for her to start. Taking a deep breath she restarted.

"I was born into a family where everything was supposed to happen perfectly. Wake up on time. Be infront of the house on time.

Dress elegantly. Eat with proper etiquettes, be disciplined all round the time, never disrespect elders, always be as told by your parents, study well, get good grades.

All those shits that you normally find in a rich family cases. I tried-" the long held tear fell as she recollected all those days.

"I always tried to be one of them. Always tried to be like my mother who was all perfect. Perfect for my father. But- I just couldn't. I wanted to be like a normal teenager. Go out have fun with friends. Do all the teenage shits.

They never liked my sense in dressing, those comfortable baggy clothes. They always wanted me to wear perfect fit dresses which made me suffocate.

As a parent they never showed me love or affection, ofcourse that's cause they were always busy, going in and out of the house every single hour, never had time for me.

Never at home to ever look at me. Look at my small achivements. Look at the small symptoms i often showed. On top of all these i was often going in and out of the hospital every single month.

Making it really hard for me to catch up with school and- an-and cause of that my grades the-they went low" her sobs became louder as Renjun stood up, coming closer to her, he kept a hand on her shoulder, taking her palm in his.

"The-they always scolded me for not getting good grades, bit what did i do wrong" her voice cracked as the tears flowed down without a stop.

"My house it never felt like home. I never felt home cause no one was there. It was always pin drop silent. Not a bird to make a noise. I felt lonely.

I wanted someones attention. I felt selfish for feeling that way but what do you expect from a 8 year old who was sick all the time but never had someone to look after her and was always alone??

But then since i got damn sick they kept a nurse who looked after me all the time. Finally a company i felt i gained some attention atlast.

She-she was my only source of motherly ness. She was the only one who showed some love. Who made me feel even people like me can be loved. But before I could even get enough of that i-i i was admitted in the hospital" sniffing hard she rubbed her nose as her body trembled.

Who made me feel even people like me can be loved

Those words hit him hard. He felt a want. He didnt know how she felt until today. How hard her life had been.

How much agony she had faced in such young age. He knew he couldn't perceive her much but he knew the pain she held. The unbearable pain of loosing the love of their parents.

"The other day when they came, i felt what mother's love actually was. But, it- ha....what else- haa i don't know what i should anymore Renjun.

They- they just want- I seriously don't wanna live anymore when they force me to do the surgery- they just want me so that they can continue the family heritage and those bullshit I-" Her head hung low as she let out more painful sobs.

He rubbed her back, before he called her out in the most softest voice she had ever heard someone call her.

"Do-yeon" his ever so soft melodious voice rang through her ears like music, her eyes met his as he gave a small smile

"Hey... it's alright. That's how life is. It never is fair, especially to people like us. That's how life is, completely unfair never on our side. But you just have to go on. Move forward.

Be strong, strong enough to face all the challenges put in front of us, especially people like your parents. You never deserved those and you so badly deserve to be loved, and trust me Yeon you will be loved.

You will never feel lonely never, I'll make sure of that. You're a strong girl and I know that though i haven't known you for long, but the light in your eyes tells it all.

So don't lose your hope of living just cause of them, just cause they force you to do the surgery doesn't mean you should do it and just so they say that you should continue the family heritage and all those bullshit doens't really mean you should do that. Do what you love. Live."

--------------------------

Chapter 13

After calming down the girl layed in the mattress, sniffing after bawling her eyes out a few minutes ago. The clock striked 3 as the girl left out a exhausted sigh.

The bathroom door opened as the boy came out holding his stomach. His face scrunching up as if he was in immense pain.

"Whats wrong??" Her curios voice made him open up his half closed eyes, he shook his head as he sat on the bed. "It's nothing just the normal stomach pain....but it's just...too painful"

"Should i call the doctor??" Her innocent eyes looked at him with curiosity and confusion.

"Nah I'm sure it's gonna get alright in a few minutes if not i have the tablet I'll take it" he replied to which she nodded. A small yawn left her lips as her eye lids kept falling and he noticed this.

"Don't worry about me and go to sleep. You need it." "What about you what if something happens to you??" "I'll be alright. Theres a bell right here, I'll ring it when something happens. Don't worry and go sleep" he said as she reluctantly pulled the blankets up to her neck.

"Goodnight Jun" "Goodnight Yeon" closing her eyes as she instantly fell asleep becoming unaware of anything that happened after.

🍂

A long sigh came after the doctor kept the report down, taking up the xray as he examined it thoroughly. A frown that never left the face only increased when he saw more amount of dots on it.

"It has increased, what you experienced last night, the stomach ache it was just the sign telling that you will soon enter the last stage." The doctor said as the boy just fell deeper into the hole of melancholy.

"We will have to increase your doses before looking at whether we have to change your medicines..-" removing his glasses he slowly held onto the boys hand "-Renjun..." The doctor breathed out as the boy met the concerned irises staring at him.

"Your entering probably the worst phase of your life, and it ain't gonna be easy, but hang in there buddy, you can do it, atleast for parents. Please don't lose hope, miracles do happen." Giving his hand a tight squeeze the doctor gave his parents the file.

"You will feel nauseousness, dizziness, vomiting feeling, aches all around the body, in the coming days, you may even lose your appetite but don't skip your meals, any discomfort you feel, let us know, let anyone one of us know, let us know your pain, make us feel it, feel it with you, you don't deserve to bear it all by yourself and you can't, so when you feel suffocated let it all out, we are all ears. " The doctor said as Renjun gave her a reassuring nod.

But he had lost all the hope, the hope of life. He wanted this hell hole to end someway, but it only became worser making him regret life more than ever.

He never wanted to let anyone know about his discomforts, he always thought it as an extra burden for them. And he never wanted to be one.

He walked past the hallways more like a zombie, eyes stuck on the ground as he walked lifeless. A tear slipped his eyes but he never gave mind to it nor his surroundings as he walked without the knowledge of where he was walking to.

Slowly more tears fell blurring his vision. He walked like a dead corpse as he felt his world shatter, everything changed in a matter of time.

Time.

He hated it. It never waited for him. And he was always late to catch it. It never let him have the happy life he wanted to. That one normal teenage life he wanted to have.

Oh! How badly he wanted to experience the college life, study arts improve and become an artist. But fate and time, those two never seemed to be on his side. It was as if the world was against his exsistence.

"Renjun..." Her soft voice got him back to this world as his now red puffy eyes looked at those worried ones.

"What's wrong??" She had never seen him crying, never seen him this broken, it was always her. Seeing him like this broke her, both from inside and out.

He just stared at her as he let out more tears, small sobs escaped while he just stared at her. His eyes showed a million worries and that he wanted to let it all out.

Let all of it out. But he hesitated, he was scacred. She knew he wouldn't let it out here, not in the middle of the entrance of the hospital, she slowly pulled him by his shoulder as she took him towards the elevator, to the rooftop where she knew he would let it all out without hesitating.

All this time his eyes never left her as he kept staring at her as if she was the only thing in the world. Holding her as if she was the only one in this world who understands him, his pain as they reached the rooftop.

-----------------------

Chapter 14

They didn't utter a word after reaching the rooftop. They just sat there as Renjun let out silent tears. She just rubbed his back soothingly as she didn't know how to comfort him.

"Why??...why me?" His broken raspy voice came out as a mere whisper as she looked at him. "Why me off all the other cowards out there??Why is the world so angry at me??

Why!?! Why is it so against me and not letting me live a peaceful life ?? Taking all my hope for living?? Letting me go through hell when I've already faced enough??

Why is life soo unfair!!!' he yelled as he bawled out more but she couldn't do anything but hold him close and rub shooting circles on his back. He hid his head in his palm as he cried out more.

"Cry" she finally let her voice out as he yelled more. "Cry it all out. You'll feel better" her soft voice rang through his ears as he moved nearer to her. She pulled him closer as he nuzzled his head deeper into her embrace, taking in all her warmth.

He cried his worst that morning but he didn't regret it especially crying i front of her. He felt better way better. Letting those dry tears stay on his rosy cheeks he stared at the way his hands perfectly intertwined with hers.

"Thank you" he breathed out, she just gave out a questioned hum as his eyes met hers. "Thanks for being there for me when no one did" he gave her the sweetest smile she had ever seen as a feeling grew inside of her.

"Your always welcome" she whispered as they held the stare. She didn't know what the reason was for him to breakdown like this, but she knew he would tell her, tell her when the time was right, and right now it wasn't.

The atmosphere wasn't awkward. It was just perfect. The wind flew right past them as the cold wind which supposedly should give them shivers rather gave them warmth.

The birds flew as a flock in the vast blue sea as their sounds echoed down the sky towards their ears. The distant sound of the city rush blurred with the noise of the chirping birds who settled themselves on the edge of the railing.

"We should probably go down. They might be searching for us" she broke the silence as he nodded getting up from the seat. Dusting off his pants he looked at her doing the same. "Let's go" he motioned her as they both walked down the stairs in a pair not minding to take the elevator.

🍂

After 3 weeks

"Eat" the nurse demanded but Renjun just shook his head. "I don't feel like eating!" He became rebellious as he refused to eat the porridge. "Look kid you gotta eat to have atleast a bit of energy" the nurse pleaded while he just refused, being stubborn.

Do-yeon entered the cafeteria just to witness the pair of two in which the lady struggled to feed the younger boy.

Giggling at the sight she found it quite amusing to watch at. Picking up the bowl of porridge she walked towards the seat before settling herself down on it.

"What's happening here??" She inquired while the nurse just sighed. "He ain't eating" "Why??" "Ask him yourself" her head turned towards him as he sat there arms crossed eyes buring at the food as if he despised it.

"Why aren't you eating??" She asked as he let of a huff. "I don't feel like to" "But still you gotta atleast a spoon or two" but still he refused which ended in him getting extra doses of glucose that day.

After having her meal the girl peacefully layed on her bed while Renjun seemed to be in a bad mood that particular day as he sat on the bed with the needle pushed inside of him, eyes fixed on the wall infront of him as he always kept a disgusted face. As if he was disturbed by something.

"Renjun" the doctors voice spoke as he turned his head towards it to see the doctor standing near the door. "I've told you not to lose hope didn't I?? Please why dont you just try??" The doctor pleaded in a broken voice making Renjun guilty.

It not like he wantedly did this, he just didn't feel like eating and living.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as a tear fell. "I didn't mean to worry you nor anyone!" He opposed while more tears fell. "It's just, i lost all the hope of living" he mumbled, his head hanging low as he let out more tears. "Hey...it's alright buddy. It's alright" the doctor hugged him as he whispered all the sweet things to him.

"It's gonna be alright buddy just a few more days and your gonna be free"

He whispered as the words layed in his mind. The girl aware of her surroundings dwelled into her thoughts as she tried to connect what the doctor said and what she thought happened a few weeks ago at the rooftop and all the other clues, as she finally came into a conclusion.

Even he was dying just like her, but unlike her he didn't have a chance of survival.

------------------------

Chapter 15

Eyes trailing on her as she moved back and forth the room holding her stomach.

"Are you having a stomach ache??" His tired voice whispered to which she stopped.

Her eyes looking straight at him as he swore he saw it glance at his lips once. She shook her head as she bit her nails as if it would disappear off if she didn't do it.

On the other hand she just gazed at him, how much he had changed in a matter of weeks.

Oh how bubbly he was just a few weeks ago, and here he laid now, not moving, stuck on the bed, barely living, eyes losing all the brightness of life.

Her eyes moved towards the book that layed on his hands before it went back to his tired state.

"You should get some sleep" "I can't..." He spoke softly before briefly closing his eyes for a second.

"Can you come here??" He murmured as she thought twice whether she heard him right. "Please..." Pushing herself towards him she stood right infront of him.

"The headache never wears off" he hissed at the pain as he desperately closed his eyes, the girl couldn't do anything but pity his state. "Make it go...please ..i can't hold it anymore" he pleaded while she slowly took he head and placed it close to her neck.

"It's alright. I'm right here. It's gonna be alright" she whispered closely as she patted her head which was burning. She wished she could do anything something to make his pain wear off and not let him suffer but she couldn't.

"Come on let's get you to sleep" she slowly took the book from his hands as she placed it on the table before walking towards him.

Searching his box for the medicine as she took a glass and the tablet. "Take this and let's have a sleep hm??" He didn't utter word as he took the pill and pushed himself deeper into the bed.

She debated whether she should join him or not, not wanting to make it more awkward and uncomfortable for him she just turned towards her bed before a hand stoped her.

"Don't go..stay" she turned to look at his eyes meeting hers. He pulled her as he made space for her on the bed, letting her fall on it. He pulled the sheets for her, while she just layed there too stunned to even process what was going on.

Renjun didn't mind anything as he hugged he tight before nuzzling his head deeper into her neck.

As he closed his eyes he took in all her scent as it warmed him, the stinging pain slowly disappeared off as he drifted off to the dreamland he wished to be in for a long time.

After a long time he slept peacefully not worrying about anything in her presence, right next to her. That's when he confirmed that he had fell for he, fuck it he loved her.

Prologue / Part I / Part II / Epilogue

[communicationblogs]

Engineered T Cells Market — Forecast(2024–2030).

Engineered T Cells Market Overview

Engineered T cells market represents a revolutionary advancement in cellular therapy, leveraging cutting-edge biotechnology to treat various diseases, primarily cancer. Engineered T cells involve modifying a patient’s T cells to enhance their ability to recognize and attack diseased cells, offering new hope for conditions that were previously difficult to treat. This comprehensive market overview provides insights into the current landscape, key players, applications, challenges, and future trends shaping this rapidly evolving sector.

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Market Dynamics

1. Market Growth and Drivers

The engineered T cells market is experiencing substantial growth, driven by several factors:

Increasing Cancer Incidence: The global rise in cancer cases is a major driver, as engineered T cell therapies, such as CAR-T (Chimeric Antigen Receptor T-cell) therapy, offer novel treatments for various cancers.

Advancements in Technology: Innovations in genetic engineering, such as CRISPR and advanced gene-editing techniques, are enhancing the efficacy and safety of engineered T cell therapies.

Growing Investment: Significant investments from both public and private sectors in research and development are fueling advancements and commercialization in this field.

2. Technology and Innovation

Two primary technologies dominate the engineered T cells market:

CAR-T Therapy: This involves modifying T cells to express chimeric antigen receptors (CARs) that target specific proteins on cancer cells. Approved CAR-T therapies, such as Kymriah (Novartis) and Yescarta (Kite Pharma), have shown remarkable success in treating hematologic cancers, including leukemia and lymphoma.

TCR Therapy: T-cell receptor (TCR) therapies focus on enhancing T cells to recognize specific cancer antigens presented by MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex) molecules. TCR therapies are designed to target a broader range of cancers and are currently in various stages of clinical development.

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Key Players

Several companies are leading the engineered T cells market, each contributing to the development and commercialization of these therapies:

Novartis: A pioneer in CAR-T therapy, Novartis’ Kymriah was one of the first CAR-T therapies to receive FDA approval. The company continues to advance its pipeline of cell therapies and explore new indications.

Gilead Sciences: Through its subsidiary Kite Pharma, Gilead Sciences has developed Yescarta, another leading CAR-T therapy. Gilead is actively involved in expanding its cell therapy portfolio and researching new treatment options.

Bristol-Myers Squibb: With its acquisition of Celgene, Bristol-Myers Squibb has gained access to innovative CAR-T therapies like Breyanzi. The company is also exploring other cell and gene therapies.

Bluebird Bio: Known for its focus on gene therapies, Bluebird Bio is developing both CAR-T and TCR therapies. The company is advancing its investigational therapies through various stages of clinical trials.

Adaptimmune: Specializing in TCR therapies, Adaptimmune is developing innovative treatments targeting specific cancer antigens. The company is actively working on expanding its clinical trials and therapeutic indications.

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Applications

1. Oncology

The primary application of engineered T cells is in oncology. CAR-T therapies have shown significant efficacy in treating:

Hematologic Cancers: CAR-T therapies like Kymriah and Yescarta have been particularly effective in treating blood cancers, including acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) and diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL).

Solid Tumors: Research is ongoing to extend the use of CAR-T therapies to solid tumors, such as breast, lung, and pancreatic cancers. Challenges include identifying suitable target antigens and overcoming the tumor microenvironment’s immunosuppressive effects.

2. Other Diseases

Beyond oncology, engineered T cells are being explored for:

Autoimmune Diseases: There is potential for engineered T cells to target autoreactive T cells involved in autoimmune conditions such as type 1 diabetes and multiple sclerosis.

Infectious Diseases: Research is investigating the use of engineered T cells to target chronic viral infections, including HIV and hepatitis B.

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Regulatory Landscape

1. Approval Process

Engineered T cell therapies must undergo rigorous regulatory scrutiny to ensure their safety and efficacy. The approval process typically involves:

Preclinical Studies: Initial research to evaluate the safety and effectiveness of the therapy in animal models.

Clinical Trials: Phases I through III trials to assess safety, efficacy, and optimal dosing in humans. Successful trials are crucial for obtaining regulatory approval.

Regulatory Review: Submission of clinical trial data to regulatory agencies such as the FDA (U.S. Food and Drug Administration) and EMA (European Medicines Agency) for review and approval.

2. Challenges

Cost: Engineered T cell therapies are expensive to develop and administer, posing challenges for widespread adoption and accessibility.

Manufacturing Complexity: The process of modifying and expanding T cells is complex and requires specialized facilities and expertise.

Side Effects: Potential side effects, such as cytokine release syndrome (CRS) and neurotoxicity, need to be carefully managed and mitigated.

Future Trends

1. Innovations in Technology

Future developments in the engineered T cells market are expected to include:

Next-Generation CAR-T Therapies: Improvements in CAR design, such as dual-targeting CARs and armored CARs, aim to enhance efficacy and reduce side effects.

Combination Therapies: Combining engineered T cells with other modalities, such as immune checkpoint inhibitors, may improve treatment outcomes and address limitations.

2. Personalized Medicine

The shift towards personalized medicine will likely drive market growth. Tailoring therapies to individual patients’ genetic and tumor profiles can enhance treatment efficacy and minimize adverse effects.

3. Global Expansion

As research advances and manufacturing capabilities improve, engineered T cell therapies are expected to become more widely available across different regions, including emerging markets. Collaborative efforts between pharmaceutical companies and research institutions will play a key role in expanding access to these therapies.

The global market size for engineered T cells was $20.21 billion in 2022, and is expected to grow to $348.9 billion by 2032.

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[medicineforcare]

Erlonat 100mg

Erlonat 100mg Tablet is used in the treatment of non-small cell lung cancer and pancreatic cancer.

It is recommended to take the Erlonat 100mg Tablet empty-handed, or to take it an hour before or two after a meal. As long as your doctor recommends it, you should keep taking it. The length of the treatment varies based on your demands and how well you respond to it. It is important that you follow your doctor's instructions exactly. If taken improperly or in excess, it might have extremely harmful negative effects. You might not notice or feel the effects of the medication for a few weeks or months, but unless your doctor instructs you otherwise, keep taking it. 

This medication's most typical adverse effects include rash, exhaustion, nausea, vomiting, and weight loss. It could give you serious diarrhea, so if it troubles you, talk to your doctor or drink lots of water. Because it makes you more susceptible to sunlight, when you go outside, wear protective clothes or use sunscreen. It is best to let the doctor know if you experience breathing problems, changes in your vision, or mouth ulcers. Throughout the course of taking this medication, your doctor may suggest routinely evaluating your liver function. 

Inform your medical team about all the medications you take because there are numerous other medications that may interact with this one or cause side effects. It is not advised to use this medication while nursing or when pregnant. To prevent conception during therapy, it is crucial for both males and females to utilize an effective form of contraception. It is recommended that you give up smoking while using this medication as it may interfere with its effectiveness. Take any additional medications, such as an antacid, at least two hours after taking the cancer medication.

Benefits of Erlonat Tablet

In Pancreatic cancer

Because they create the body's own insulin, the pancreas is vital to both blood sugar metabolism and digestion of food. This medication will help manage the symptoms of pancreatic cancer, including appetite loss and unexplained weight loss. The Erlonat 100mg Tablet works to inhibit the actions of certain molecules that promote the growth and metastasis of pancreatic cancer. It will make your life healthier and longer.

In Non-small cell lung cancer

One of the main forms of lung cancer that affects both smokers and non-smokers is non-small cell lung cancer. Erlonat 100mg Tablet is used either alone or in conjunction with other medications to treat non-small cell lung cancer. You should go over the advantages and disadvantages of this strong, highly poisonous medication with your physician. Throughout this treatment, you should abstain from alcohol and stay hydrated by drinking lots of water.