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#both him and his mother and i think that interpretation works really well with this analysis
ihatethiswebsite77 · 1 year
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Watching "it's a Jersey thing". I am beyond confused and in disbelief as to what prompted Cartman to say that
"Deep down you're a monster, but you're my little monster" line.
My working theory is that part of the reason Cartman hates and constantly rips on Kyle for things about him that he can't inherently change, and why he paints a narrative where he assigns those traits a negative meaning even tho they aren't negative in nature is because he is subconsciously annoyed that there is nothing "naturally" negative about Kyle. Kyle is pretty much a well adjusted kid for the most part, but his negative personality traits do come out a LOT when he is interacting with Cartman, but there's nothing about where he 'comes from' that's negative. He has a happy and healthy family, he knows his dad, his parents have respectable jobs, etc.
As opposed to Cartman, who is deluded about being "naturally big boned" which is something for which he is constantly being ridiculed, as well as his mother being a "crack whore" which is also something that he is constantly being ridiculed for. He can't change who his mother is, (and while he could lose weight) he doesn't really believe that cuz like I said he is deluded by his mother into thinking that that's just how his family is.
So when he finds out Kyle is from new Jersey, he immediately jumps to ripping on him about it. Because it's something that Kyle is just "naturally" that everyone in town actually considers to be a negative trait.
But then, when Kyle actually shows that Jersey side to everyone, and it stops being just a way for Cartman to do his usual thing of assigning negative traits to things Kyle is, even tho for once he actually has ground to rip on Kyle for, Cartman is very chill with him.
Almost like, knowing that deep down inside Kyle actually has that "monster" in him brings comfort to Cartman, because now he feels like Kyle is a bit more similar to him.
The "he's just like me fr" of it all.
Or maybe I'm just reaching for the high heavens with this analysis. Who knows.
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whetstonefires · 4 days
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Thinking about the parallels set up between Wei Wuxian and Mo Xuanyu, and how actually most of them are oddly specious.
The sketch of the backstory lines up, but on close examination they're mirror images.
Wei Wuxian wasn't kicked out of his sect, he left it. Wei Wuxian didn't hate the house he grew up in, he loved it, and getting the people there killed was the absolute last purpose for which his dark powers were ever intended.
Jiang Cheng was no Mo Ziyuan--his jealousy was a complicated thing all twisted up with love, and while he would lash out at Wei Wuxian both as a casual means of shit communication and more damagingly in moments of high tension, he had neither the desire nor the ability to bully him, and in general respected his boundaries almost too well.
When Wei Wuxian destroyed himself about Jiang Cheng, it was to give him cultivation, and protect his life and happiness. He would never have killed him.
Madam Yu was a domineering aunt-like figure, who hated Wei Wuxian for reasons of reputation, and because she had resented his dead mother, but she crucially did not have the power to actually disrupt his lifestyle to any significant extent.
Mo Xuanyu was shut up in a small room to rot; Wei Wuxian didn't even attend classes unless he wanted to. Mo Xuanyu was weak and disliked; Wei Wuxian was brilliant and popular.
Mo Xuanyu's uncle is a cipher of a figure, without character or agency, a nonentity who is resented to death apparently mostly for what he didn't do; in theory he is the master of the house, but he certainly never protected his wife and son's punching bag from them.
And this is what got me thinking along this track: because people keep interpreting Jiang Fengmian as this, as exactly like Mo Xuanyu's nameless uncle, a nonentity who lets his wife make all the decisions, and is contemptible therefore.
He shows up in fic characterized this way all the time, handled narratively as a gap rather than a person, an absence where there should have been a parent, and it's...totally inaccurate? The man only has a few scenes but the things that are most firmly established about him are:
he regularly goes out of his way to protect Wei Wuxian
he's extremely fond of Wei Wuxian
he cares a lot about ethical behavior
he's conflict-avoidant and gentle
he can and will overrule Yu Ziyuan when he's made up his mind, and there's nothing she can do about it
his communication skills are mediocre at best
he doesn't understand jiang cheng
he has a dumb sense of humor
Now almost none of this made it into cql besides point 4 and maybe 6, 5 is technically there but buried by the cinematic framing, so I totally get why the fandom on the whole struggles to characterize him well, and it's easier to write him off.
But it keeps bugging me to see him and Yu Ziyuan squashed into the mold of the Mo, because not only is that boring and reductive and kind-of-missing-the-point, it's like. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's characterization suffers a lot when you alter the environment and take away the influence exerted by their shared father figure.
Jiang Fengmian was Wei Wuxian's primary adult role model and it shows.
Jiang Cheng's relationship to his own sense of ethics is fraught because 'teaching him good ethics' was his dad's number one parenting goal, but they misunderstood each other so badly (partly because Yu Ziyuan kept loudly misinterpreting them to each other, which is so realistic I can't get over it, that's exactly how it works good lord) that Jiang Cheng has a direct association between the concept of 'doing the right thing even when it's hard' and a feeling of personal inadequacy.
The fact that Wei Wuxian got their dad-person's approval for being exactly himself and Jiang Cheng not only couldn't do that, he couldn't even get that same level of approval when he really pushed himself to rise to expectations, because Jiang Fengmian did not intend that warmth as a 'reward,' and so never realized he was withholding it, and therefore misunderstood Jiang Cheng's visible jealousy as a dangerous sense of personal entitlement that had to be carefully restrained, which reinforced his distrust of Jiang-Cheng-the-person and fed into a shitty loop where they were less and less able to relate to one another--that's fantastic. That's so human! I love it so much.
Both their failures are their own but at the same time it would never have gotten so bad if Yu Ziyuan hadn't been interjecting herself in there, in the middle of their relationship, fucking it up. That's family, baby.
I would ofc like if there was more fic engaging with the subtleties of all this because it's so good, mxtx did such elegant work here and it is not sufficiently appreciated. But it's the kind of thing that's hard to write good fic about; I am struggling with it myself.
So mostly I wish there was just more fic that didn't impose Mo Xuanyu's cliche angst backstory on Wei Wuxian, who has a whole different thing going on.
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etheries1015 · 1 year
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Now that I have learned of Bisexual Lilia
Imagine he gets in a relationship with Bisexual Yuu
"You WHAT?!" You exclaimed to your fae lover, him chuckling in response as you flipped through a photo book, to which you inquired about a certain beautiful fae he stood next to during his time of being a general.
"Yes, I asked Malleus's mothers hand in marriage. I'm not going to lie, I also had a bit of a thing for Levan as well. Its a shame neither of them worked out for me!" You raised an eyebrow and punched him arm, chuckling.
"What, are you jealous, my dear?" Lilia cooed. You simply shook your head and let out a hearty laugh.
"Actually I feel bad for you, too. She's so gorgeous I'd ask her to marry me too!"
"Oh really? You should see Levan. He was also quite the looker."
"I believe you. Do you think they'd join us in a thrupple? Or a quad?"
"Unfortunately they were far too smitten with each other. I'm afraid neither of us would stand a chance." Lilias shoulders slumped.
"Ah...well. Its a good thing us plebians stick together, then. I suppose you will do for now," you joked, ruffling your lovers hair. You both erupted with laughter, continuing to flip through the photos and reminisce from times of old.
Note: yess I understand that the moment they spoke about "love" was more likely in the sense of platonic, familial love but I also like the interpretation that he's a bi legend sooo
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hazelfoureyes · 6 days
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A Doe in Fall (part 10)
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⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall
A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds 📍
Part 10 Good Deeds
Alastor takes you out as promised, but work/hobbies call him away. Not that you mind, you have your own hobbies to pick up.
「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, references to racial violence, reference to a word that’s now very much a slur, Hate for Aubrey, inaccurate portrayal of how easy it was to drink, oh yeah murder, mentions of a dismembered body, bloody shoes, physics hijinks with a corpse, these idiots in love, gators aaaaaye baby, domestic fluff?? Kind of?? Did I do it?!」
I think about Emmett Till often. Though his heinous murder came after the time this story is set, what happened to him wasn’t an isolated incident. So it is referenced here in a sense, because I can’t stop thinking about him when I think about racial violence in the south both what it looked like before and what it looks like now. I don’t say anything explicit and change the act, but it is still important to warn you. If you don’t know about the tragic death of Emmett, here’s a site with links to articles and essays. Be careful, it is awful and his deceased and battered face will come up on some links, as his mother wanted the world to see what they did to her baby. It’s an image I cannot forget and I rightfully shouldn’t. I know it’s off to have such a heavy topic before this love story but this case is the kind that would motivate such a killer as Alastor, and I don’t want to miss an opportunity to remind us of Emmett’s short life even if it’s done in a silly fanfic surrounded by nonsense. So forgive me for perhaps an odd real life addition, I’d be disappointed in myself for not addressing it when Emmett has been on my mind every time I think about the era someone like Alastor could have lived in. An era that did exist and people did live and suffer in.  An era not far removed from us, my father was alive when this happened.
Part 10 - Good Deeds
minors if you interact I will interpret that as a deep hate for me as a person so MDNI 👌🏼
“I’ve got to speak with the valet, go on ahead and find a table you like.” 
You didn’t want to do that at all, but knew Alastor wouldn’t ask if he didn’t want it. Well, he didn’t really ask, did he? He was certainly in his element, the shining and towering hotel every bit as pristine as his own public image.
It was as if every head in the room spun around to look at you. Everyone’s hair freshly styled, jewelry shiny and heavy, clothes immaculate. Your dress was lovely, no doubt, but no one looks at the elephant in her tutu at the circus and proclaims, “A ballerina!” This was, rather obviously, not your scene.
Alastor had presented the dress to you so sweetly, though. You woke up to find it hanging on the closet door hook, the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes. He had either waited for you to fall asleep to hang it or woken up before you for just the reason. It was red, his favorite color for you. The latest fashion, loose and straight. No corset. The neckline showcased a large, flat bow. 
“Partly a gift for me,” he had said as his hands slid down your sides when you had gotten dressed, “Such softness shouldn’t be hidden behind rigid boning.”
You settled into a large seashell shaped booth, the back coming up and over like you were the speck of sand yet to form into a pearl. The table was small, a glittering pattern under its shiny veneer. Everything was…glistening. Even the darkness past the windows seemed to be sparkling back at you. A few people turned to look you up and down, smiling and beginning to speak to their group before even turning back to them. 
You could wither, or bloom. So you learned back as if you were bored, legs crossed and feet gently shaking with anxiety or boredom, you hoped no one could sus out which. 
It was so odd. In your usual haunts, newcomers were greeted with curious smiles and maybe the tiniest suspicions. You were being picked apart to the bone by sharp stares and even sharper tongues, no matter how silent their jabs were to you. 
“They’re probably jealous.” Your head snapped up, when had Alastor made it in? “They look at you and know, ‘oh, that’s the kind of woman my husband would rather have a conversation with.’” You laughed, you absolutely could have stolen the attention and more from at least one of these women’s husbands.
“Perhaps they recognize these earrings, gone missing from their jewelry box earlier this year.”  You weren’t above accepting a woman’s stolen jewelry. It was her husband's fault anyway, might as well enjoy it. 
Alastor’s finger came to your chin, lifting your face further into the light, “Give em a good look, darling. I want them to eat their hearts out.” The blush that swept across your features was so fierce, the difference in temperature between your cheeks and your arms caused a chill to run down to your shins. He took a seat beside you, scooting up close and flashing that smile. A smile that had you chasing him into dark alleys and grabbing dead men by the ankles. 
A waiter came by, placing a drink in front of Alastor and asking what you’d like. You were so used to being in such spaces with the kind of men who answered for you that you didn’t reply immediately. When Alastor brought his drink to his lips, you realized it was you who was expected to speak. 
“Oh! A corpse reviver please.”
The man smiled and left with a nod. Alastor choked, hitting his chest with the fleshy part of his palm, “That was intentional, wasn’t it?”
You danced in your seat, “I’ve never been somewhere that has the stock for it that I was…allowed to order what I want.”
Alastor set his drink down and leaned back, shoulder pressing into yours teasingly, “I can’t imagine anyone disallowing you a thing.” With a sigh, you reminded him of the things you did to get your marks drunk and off their guard. You were surprised when he nodded like he remembered. “I saw that! You would sit so quietly on their laps. I remember thinking you were much more boring than you had initially made me believe.” You recoiled, and he shot you a look, “Who stalked who first, hm?” 
With a huff, you let it go. You weren’t actually sure the answer to that anyway. Focus let free from Alastor, you began to notice the looks were back. But no longer cutting into you, but wide and devouring. A few smiled at Alastor, some tipped their heads to him and offered a look of recognition. “Aren’t you popular.”
“I haven’t been out in awhile. They’re probably curious.” He took another sip, “Should be, atleast.”
A prideful smile slid up your face. You uselessly tried to mask it by licking your teeth. 
Something that happened when in public with Alastor that was unlike you was the tendency to become small. Not shrinking to provide him space; it was a turning in of your shoulders and touching of your knees in a subconscious effort to curl into a little ball of joy. Actively fighting the tug, you leaned back and opened your chest. An exercise in mental focus. 
“It’s weird. How you can be friends with my kind of people and….well, whatever is happening here.” Your hand waved at the room before you both. 
“My friendship with these people compared to our friends at the dives is…. A light bulb compared to a fire. One was manufactured to fit a need, one exists somewhat naturally.”
Tall and slim, body flat from collar bones to knees, a slip of a woman entered the room and you felt a shift in the atmosphere. Her hair was short and pitch black, fashionable to say the least. A few heads turned, a few upturned lips shifted into sneers. Side glances, hushed words, intentionally heard huffs. You turned to Alastor to find his face was as confused as your own. 
“Who is that?” You said it low, not knowing if she was friend or foe. 
“That would be Mrs. Aubrey Debreaux. Popular socialite and frequent hostess.” A sip of his drink, speaking about her like a character in a novel. “This icy reception is news to me though. She’s usually the life of the party.”
“She’s a real wet blanket now…Your circles seem really fickle. Always a bit of gossip.” You realized as soon as you said it that, well, that was the point. Alastor needed the gossip, and, well, he clearly enjoyed it.
“That’s what the wealthy do. Gossip and pretend the drama is as stressful as someone looking for their next meal.” Swirling his drink absentmindedly, his eyes followed Aubrey through the hotel bar. When you asked if he knew everyone there, he said it was his job to know people.
“Your job is in radio. You host a show, Alastor.” You laughed through your nose.
“Well, my other job.”
“I’d call that a passionate hobby.” Your hand came to rest half on his and half on the booth bench low and hidden, not wanting to monopolize, but he quickly took it and held it on the table. Another struggle to keep your shoulders from drawing inward.
The room moved on, forgetting you both were there and eventually about Aubrey too. Or so you had thought. When you drink was starting to mellow you, you turned to Alastor to admire the view. You’d come to enjoy that silence, the kind that only existed between people comfortable enough to know they didn’t need to entertain each other to enjoy each other’s company.
He was scanning the bar still, elbow on the table as he rested his chin there. From a distance of space or familiarity it could be seen as boredom. But up close and personal, you could see the wheels spinning behind his eyes.
“Golly, when in Rome!” Alastor hooted and grabbed you by the hand with one of his and carried his drink in the other, “Let’s go gossip. Bring your drink.”
He pulled you into a group of four people in a circle talking. They opened and let you both in, smiles warm. A clamor of excited ‘how long has it been’s, ‘how are you’s, and ‘you look well’s.
You’d expected him to ask for gossip like he’d said, but realized that’d be pretty conspicuous. Instead he waited, and when Aubrey passed by one of them rolled their eyes and he had his opportunity.
“What’s that look for?” He asked. 
Everyone got quiet and passed a glance between them. Finally a woman in a beaded dress and finger wave bob piped up.
“She reported a young boy touched her on the street.” Alastor watched Aubrey cycle through the groups as the friend spoke. “Grazed her hip with his hands, made a comment about white women as he did it.”
Alastor’s head whipped back around. “He got taken away that night.”
You gasped, hand coming to your mouth in sincere horror, “Just for touching her? Is he still in jail?” 
The woman’s lips pursed together, no one looking at you.
“Bless your heart. He didn’t touch her and he didn’t make it to the jailhouse, sugar.”
Suddenly the way everyone was looking everywhere but at each other sunk in. 
Panicked, you looked to Alastor. His expression was still, like the calm waters of a deep and foreboding bay. What horrors lie underneath? His tongue wiped across his teeth, and you reached out to take his drink from his hand. The action snapped him out of his daze for a second, expression softening a tad as he nodded a thank you.
If he shattered that glass now, people would remember. And when Aubrey went missing they may recall Alastor’s dramatic reaction. You knew his smiles intimately, the ones that were true and the ones that were illusions. The expressions of joy and the mask for his rage. The smile painted on his face now was nothing short of shallow.
You spent so many days in a bubble with Alastor, shielded by his grace or by the accepting and illegal circles you ran in that you sometimes forgot the reality of life. A dark privilege you hadn’t seen until you were the one looking naive for once. 
That’s right. The world was a bad place, of cruelty and injustice. Not just for you, or for parts of you, or for sides of you. Not just for women with smart mouths or a love of dance. No matter how safe the comfort of your friends and the dark halls you all commiserate in, no matter the like minds and mixed complexions of your peers, you were all just one cruel voice from being dragged into the night. Just a single accusation from being a whispered story in a glittering hotel bar. A headline no one would write. 
And some of you would be mourned more than others. 
You took a second, blinking rapidly to dry your eyes. 
“Apparently, she did it to get Hubert to leave his mistress’s apartment and come home.” A short man whose name you never got took a drag of his cigarette, “Worked. He’s been yapping all week about the state of New Orleans society and the importance of protecting the fairer among us.”
Alastor was quiet still, lips tight. You’d seen the photos in his home. You’d never discussed it, no need. Things can’t become normal if you’re always pointing them out. Plus, that was his piece to share. 
“Glad to see most of us here aren’t too keen to welcome her. I’d hate to have to find another bar.” Someone said, glancing around the room. “George just started making my martinis right.”
“Care to dance?” Alastor abruptly turned his entire body to you with a slick swivel on his heels.
You nodded, offering small polite goodbyes and setting your drinks back on the table before turning to him.
His open palm was outstretched and offering you a dance. You spread your hand over his and felt him hold you firmly before pulling you into him. 
He held you so close, much closer than anyone else on the dance floor. A scandalous lack of distance between you two. Quiet, Alastor’s eyes were distant. You were in front of him but he wasn’t seeing you. You let the song carry on a little longer for appearances before sighing into a smile.
“Why are we dancing when you have work to do? You have your tools.” Looking up at a man was rarely a view you enjoyed but the way his eyes slid down his nose and landed so sharply on you made it worth it. A look that said he’d devour you if he didn’t adore you so much. Your hand snaked behind his back to touch the hidden outline of this trusty little knife. He briefly wondered if this could be considered foreplay, the way he felt your hand on his lower back and running over his weapon. Much more intimate than he’d ever let anyone else be.
As your bodies swayed, the lights slid across the curve of his eyes and lit that bright honey brown color like a diamond twirling in the sun. The facets of his irises mesmerizing you. 
How terribly did you love him? 
How far would you fall for him?
“This would be a long one. You’d be waiting… could be a couple of hours. I need to be out of sight before she leaves.” A chill. Oh, you’d forgotten for a second, Alastor was a killer. He didn’t do it for ‘justice’ alone, he enjoyed what he did. Immensely. His voice had a note of giddiness and anger that didn’t mix well, but was oddly arousing. 
“Correction, I’d be dancing for hours. Drinking. Letting handsome men waste their money on me.” 
“Oh? Can they buy me a drink, too?”
You brought up your pointer finger, “You remind her of her humanity, and I’ll get a man to buy you a drink.” 
He linked his finger with yours. “I’ll need to give her special attention. She’s earned it.”
You loosely understood this wasn’t attention like you’d be given. This was attention that ran opposite affection. 
“I’m not here to be in your way, Alastor.” A quick kiss to your hand, one you hoped no one else saw. While no one here would be bothered by Brady, you still wanted to keep some semblance of confusion on what you two were to onlookers. 
His laugh was louder than you expected, a few heads turning, “Impossible. I’m always going wherever you are, dear.”
Would you never get up again?
“I’ll stay at the bar. If they close, I’ll just go to Beth’s.” Your fingers lingered in his, “Be careful. The best good deeds are done in the dark.”
A kiss to your nose. So gentle despite the topic. You could imagine it, the violent death of a woman. You could hear the sounds. Hers, his, the knife’s. A pang of guilt set in before you could remind yourself why this woman was going to die. A tiny smile settled on your face, he offered you a gentle command in return, “Understood, honey. Be safe.” 
You let him kiss your hand again and bow out of  the dance. You were doing it, it dawned on you as you watched him walk away. Truly kissing him goodbye at the door as he went off to work. The closest you’d ever gotten, atleast. 
He stopped by a group and said some quick goodbyes, apologies for leaving early, and left the hotel bar. 
You knew he had killed women before, Alastor was all for equality, but a part of you worried. Women tend to scream louder, and be heard more often, than men. A man screams and people just…keep walking. What would he do? Where would he do it?
With a sniffle, you let the jealousy of just what he would need to do to get her alone flutter away. Taking a seat back at your table, you sipped your drink and watched the others dance and chat. How odd, they could sway in such large places with big windows and bright lights with no fear of cops. Your scenes were dark, dusty, never seeing the sky. 
“He left ya?” One of the earlier women came by, someone you vaguely remember him nodding a ‘hello’ to at some point in the evening. 
Thankfully you were still quick on your feet. “Well, we came separately, of course we’d leave separately.”
A laughed, “Of course.” She leaned down, touching at your hair for a second, curiously, “Don’t hold your breath. But, it is nice he got you in here, huh? Must be a treat for you.” 
Your own laugh was just as abrupt as Alastor’s earlier, your hand coming to hide your smile. All you could muster was a nod. Yes, you stood out. Yes, you didn’t fit in with these people for many reasons. But, it wasn’t your first time in nice spaces. First time not pressed into a man who’d been made to believe he was more important the whole time, but still. 
It took two more drinks for Aubrey to leave. But there was a problem. As she was trying to bow out of the room, a man kept hooking his fingers under the loose belt of her boxy drop waist dress.
With practiced skill, you took note of where her eyes lingered on him, how her hand came to his arm but didn’t actually press him away. Not earnestly.
The pushy man saw it too, every little soft ‘no’ was a half ‘yes’. And Aubrey seemed to like that. It was almost ironic, given what she had done, how she egged on the younger man before her now by pretending she didn’t want him. His hand landed on her hip forcefully, her hand on his chest gingerly. He leaned in close, she pulled away barely.
The next act was the most classic to women of your era. The false exit.
Aubrey whispered something, he nodded eagerly and his many hands returned to himself.
She smiled at the back of everyone’s heads, as nearly no one would look her way, and she slipped out the doors.
You couldn’t stop yourself from shimmying as you slid from your booth. Barely a step away, you leaned back and grabbed the last sip in your glass. You swished it around your mouth like listerine, and swallowed it. Before you got too close, you pinched your cheeks until your eyes began to water.
You’d just found a way to make yourself useful.
“Whoopsie Daisy!” You giggled, shoulder colliding with the man’s chest as you stumbled past.
“Watch - ooh, hey,” the free hand that had come to keep you from getting closer quickly softened, curling around your waist. The same hand that’d just been on the socialite. You were sure to look up and sigh into him, your breath soaked in alcohol. “You okay, doll? Had a bit too much?”
With glassy eyes you nodded, closing them and letting your head nod lazily, “I lost my thing!” You laughed, hitting his chest.
“Your what? I happen to be a thing.” 
How quickly he forgot his target when easier to pick fruit appeared.
“No, silly!” A practiced hiccup, “my little…”
“Your little…?”
Your fingers wiggled in the direction of your hip.
“Purse!” A beaming grin. He asked if you needed help finding it. “Well, how else am I gonna get another drink!” The hand on your waist fell to your hip and slunk lower. 
“Oh well, I could help ya with that.” He leaned in, looking around first as if he had a secret, “I have a room upstairs.”
You tutted, “No no, I am a married woman!” He lifted your left hand, turning it over in a dramatic search for a ring. “Well, engaged…” you diverted your gaze. He lifted his hand to his brow then and scanned the room like a sailor to the horizon. “He’s working late.” You whined.
Why did his kind of man always want the taken woman? Did they think the chase was more meaningful then? Did they feel like they’d won some tug-of-war with an invisible, unaware opponent?
Maybe they were hardwired to hoard resources.
You let him seat you at the bar, and when he ordered you a drink you asked to know your savior’s name. William.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Alastor was none the wiser, smoking a cigarette under the streetlamp just off to the side of the hotel awning. He didn’t smoke often before you, but he found the lure of sitting on the porch passing a pill between you both too hard to fight. And soon enough the habit grew from a drinking pastime to just… something to do with his hands.
As Aubrey appeared, waiting for her driver to retrieve the car, Alastor tossed the butt to the street and walked up on her.
“I’m quite cross with you, Aubrey.” His tone was smiling as his hand slid behind her neck and tugged her away from the safety and lights of the awning.
“Oh! Alastor, I’m actually waiting for my car.” She struggled to keep up with his pace in her heels, weakly pointing back to where the valet had stood earlier. She resisted a little, the palm on the nape of her neck silently shutting her down.
“Nonsense. We have business together.” Alastor let his hand fall to her upper arm as he yanked her into the closest side street. “I hear you’ve been a very bad girl.”
Aubrey huffed, pulling back against him once, then twice, but ultimately acquiesced when she could see his car down the street.
“Fine, you can drive me home then.” A misplaced giggle, her survival skills dulled by ego.
He tossed her roughly against the car, hand gripping her face tightly. She tried to say his name, but his hold was so firm her jaw was locked.
“You’re going to get into my car now.” Alastor’s eyes had lost their pupil, an expanse of a seemingly endless dark brown in the heavy shadows left by the lamp’s light. When he let her face go, she rolled her eyes and pulled open the back seat door.
That wasn’t what he had meant, not there, but he closed the door behind her and got into the driver’s seat. He hadn’t brought the tarp tonight, not expecting to need it, so maybe the backseat was his best option regardless.
When he pulled away, she reminded him he didn’t know her address.
“I’m not taking you home. I told you. I have a bone to pick with you.” Alastor found himself incapable of putting on a ruse for her. His patience was entirely lost in his unraveling anger.
“Oooh? A bone, you say. Well, well.” Aubrey leaned forward onto the front seat, hands snaking down his shoulders and chest so she could nip at his ear, “Finally letting me have a ride.”
He had to set his right hand in the darkness of his lap to hide the tremble, a disgusted rage manifesting in uncommon ways. 
As her fingers found the buttons of his waist coat, Alastor struggled to see the road in front of him. His vision was going white, and then red. His blood pressure was so high he was nearly blind. 
And when two hot fingers broached the small space between buttons of his dress shirt and touched the bare skin of his chest, the car came to an abrupt halt. The force threw her into the backseat. 
Alastor slammed the front seat door shut before opening the back and caging her in. “I can’t stand another second of your existence.” She crawled backward, making room for him. “I’m going to fucking kill you.” 
Aubrey settled her back against the opposite door, “Oh, the petit mort.”
His head hung low in frustration, a growled  “No, the big one.” as he raked his fingers through his hair to keep from punching his own car seat.
“So I’ve heard.” She pulled up the hem of her dress slowly.
“For fucks sake Aubrey! I’m not using double entendre!” His hands wrapped around her neck. “Must I really remind you of what wrongs you’ve committed?!”
A brief panic finally came, “Wrongs?? Excuse you.”
He could have sworn the snap in his brain had been audible to her as he lost his last bit of patience.
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“Excuse me.” You settled back into the seat, having taken a bathroom break to down some water in secret. You weren’t trying to actually end up blacked out.
“Anyway,  that's how we secured the riverside house.” William leaned into you. You tried to sip your drink and found it empty, having managed to finish it absentmindedly while he rambled on about himself earlier. As you stared at him you let your eyes lose focus and drift into plans for the morning. You’d like biscuits. Alastor had some sausage he’d picked up the other day, maybe a little gravy and some eggs. It’d be like a Sunday meal nice families ate after church. You assumed. Out of the peripheral of your daydream you saw him tap the bar twice and hold up two fingers. “Charge to 1033.” He said. With the clarity of someone who wasn’t pretending to be drunk you quickly held up three.
William shot you a confused look.
“One for my darling.” He made a show of looking around, the bartender pausing. You gave him a confirmation nod, “Three, please.”
“And is he in the room with us now, Helen? I’m beginning to think he’s imaginary.”
It seemed a fine enough name to give him.
“No! But I made a promise. Or…,” you returned the lean, head resting on his shoulder, “are three drinks a little steep for you?“ With a huff, he pulled out a pair of C notes and set them on the bar. The bartender nodded, reaching for the top shelf. You whistled at the sight. Too much money for the total seven drinks he’d ordered, if you weren’t somewhere Alastor frequented you’d have slipped them under the lip of your stockings when the man wasn’t looking. He was charging the room anyway, the large bills were just for show…
“One reviver for the miss, one brandy for the sir, and a rye whiskey neat for the beau.” The bartender set the drinks down on red napkins. The whiskey sat between you both, and after a beat you realized you hadn’t actually told him what to make for Alastor. And come to think of it, your last drink hadn’t been a reviver at all but a brandy ordered by William.
“Ya know I stood up another woman to help you,” he said it into your cheek, stealing your attention by breaking your line of thought. His arm around your shoulder curled to hold you closer, “Don’t I get a reward for that?”
His breath reeked of sickeningly sweet brandy, the taste sticking to the back of your throat. Your head tilted back so you could look at him down your nose, right hand coming to rest on his thigh.
The heat of his body was radiating through the fabric of his pants and made your stomach turn. How many hot and sweaty bodies had you had the pleasure and displeasure of touching?
A smirk painted your face, remembering seeing sweat sticking to Alastor’s forehead the last time he fucked you. What had you done for that reward? Ah right, the somehow shocking act of not withholding praise for how well planned out his greenhouse was. How impressive he was to you in so many ways. You could have lingered on that recollection, on how Alastor set down his coffee and kissed you. And how he didn’t stop until you were both left undone and flustered. But movement stirred away the pleasant memory to bring you back to an unpleasant reality.
His hand roamed down your arm, uncomfortably warm palm on your exposed skin. 
“Oh, I know you did.” You said.
William chuckled, absolutely no idea what you were talking about and not particularly giving a shit. “Did I mention I have a room here?”
“Ten thirty three.” You repeated. 
He looked genuinely shocked, “How’d you know that?” The man was absolutely mystified.
“I— you just…,” your mask slipped in the face of such abject stupidity, “Lucky guess.” William drank his brandy slowly, mentioning you should bet on the ponies together. You nodded. 
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Alastor didn’t care for strangulation. It took so much time and wasn’t particularly satisfying. No pleading, no screaming, no blood and gore. Just…. someone flailing beneath you and turning purple. Boring. 
He brought up the accusations before he began to squeeze, and her panic transformed to relief. “Oh that?” She tried to sit up, but he pushed her back down, “Are you really miffed at me about that?”
“Yes, Aubrey! You condemned an innocent child to a horrid death!” His hands loosened, all of his neurons firing off to feel pain in his own heart. 
She rolled her eyes, “I wouldn’t call them children. You seem so upset, hun. Did you have a mam-?”
The rest of the word was barely squeaked out of her, he couldn’t let her finish it. He wasn’t sure what face he made. But whatever it was, it scared her. The carefree way she’d been handling the interaction finally died, and he could register actual fear in her eyes then. 
But the rage just … withered. How many children had his mother loved and doted on before her last, much kinder position? How many Aubreys had she raised. It was nothing short of an overwhelmingly violent sadness that laced his finger together around her neck and tightened, the full weight of his body coming down to crush her airways. He wanted such sentiments to be smothered out of the world like the air in her lungs. If he killed enough, could he make a dent in their influence? He could try. For her. For his mother. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Ya know, I could take real good care of you. If that’s what’s stopping you from coming upstairs.” 
With a deep breath, you gulped the drink halfway down. “Your fella doesn’t need to know. I could even get you your own place, you could wait for me there when he’s late with work. Have dinner ready. Slip off my shoes like a good girl.”
“Trust me; you’ve got a better chance of her smacking you with your shoes than slipping them off like a maid.” Alastor was resting his elbow on the bar behind you, head leaning on his hand. “Hey doll. That one mine?” He pointed at the glass.
“Oh? Alastor is the fiancé?,” William gave off a snide laugh as he was interrupted, Alastor standing up and walking to come between you two, “This guy?! Everyone knows he’s a frigid bitch. You must be a dive alley-cat if you’re—,” Alastor’s fist connected with the man’s jaw, eliciting a sickening crack. He needed both hands to keep himself from falling down with William as he was knocked back out of his bar stool. Alastor’s feet slipped on the spilt brandy, causing him to seize the stool for momentary support.
Alastor took the glass of whiskey with his non-dominant hand and downed it. He cooed, “Top shelf, Georgie?” The bartender nodded. “Good choice. Picked a worthy sucker, sweetheart. Ready to peel?”
You watched William try to stand, glass stuck to his palm. He did manage to get on his knees, shouting at the staff who stood motionless and unphased behind the counter. They didn’t say anything at all, oddly, until Alastor extended his swelling hand to you.
“Have a good evening, sir.”
Alastor flashed his signature smile and guided you out of the hotel bar. You only got a few steps before quickly running back and snatching one of the 100$ bills from the counter. William would’ve taken it back from the bar anyway. What a waste!
When a waiter offered Alastor a warm and familiar look you had to wonder, did people really not know what he did in the darkness of the New Orlean’s alleys? Did a part of them not feel some kind of debt to him? Or was he just painfully friendly when socializing?
“Just to be clear,” Alastor let the doorman open the lobby door, “It’s not the accusation of sex work that compelled me to sock him. It’s the implication you’d be cheap.” He waved the valet from the car and opened the door for you, “If you chose to sell your companionship at true worth, his daddy’s money couldn’t even buy him a kiss.”
“Aww,” you smiled at him through the thin windowpane, “Would you really be so cavalier about such a job if I did?”
“Would I? Gosh that’d make retirement much quicker for me.” He slid into the driver's seat and the door shut with a sharp ting. As he took hold of the wheel he reclined to let his hand settle behind you on the backrest, and then you three were off. 
“Oh by the way, Aubrey’s in the backseat.”
You turned slowly, first coming into view were her tiny, shining silver shoes. Your eyes kept traveling; stocking covered calves and then the bottom of her dress just past her knees.
Alastor’s coat draped over her torso and shoulders caused you to flit to him, confirming his jacket was gone, and back to her. 
Her face looked like that of a sleeping passenger. 
No blood.
When the car was a few blocks from the hotel, you leaned back and lifted the jacket. Her abdomen was clean, the white of her dress pristine. At first her neck seemed clear of cuts or abrasions until you rode past a streetlamp and a beam of light revealed the slowly forming collar of bruises.
Special attention.
For a hair of a moment you began to gently cover her again, before remembering her crimes and dropping it on her unceremoniously.
“Trunk not good enough for her?”
“Got interrupted. Booked it back to you.” He shook his head and patted the seat in tandem.
What luck that just as he felt sure she was too far gone for revival, he let go over her neck and sat up in time for someone to notice him. Fishing in his jacket draped over the seat, he found his cigarette case just as—
“What exactly are you two doing?” An officer was flashing his light through the passenger side back window.
Alastor froze, Aubrey motionless between his legs and a cigarette dangling unlit between his lips. “You startled me, officer! We were just canoodling. But she’s gone and fallen asleep before the main event.”
The officer’s brass light shone down but couldn’t reach the dead woman’s face past the shadow cast by the car door and glass. “She alright?”
Alastor’s eyes drifted down to the deceased socialite, “Truth be told sir, she’s had a bit too much of the giggle water.” Fishing your lighter from his waistcoat pocket, he lit this cigarette before setting the jacket over Aubrey like a gentleman.
“Alright y'all better get lost. Tell your moll this ain’t ladylike.” The officer tapped the window with his knuckle and when she didn’t stir just left with a huff.
Alastor was quick to leave the backseat and drive off, circling around at the next block to head back to the hotel.
“Is… everything alright?” You asked, very obviously concerned.
“Peachy! I just said we were necking before she passed out drunk.“ he leaned over and kissed your cheek, “Anything exciting on your end?”
Patting his leg you beamed up at him, “Always so quick on your feet! I don’t know why I worry so much.” His face lit up and you wanted nothing more than to launch into a praise filled rant that fueled his smile. But, you moved on to the question at hand. After a moment to think, you remembered ‘the best good deeds are done in the dark’. “Nope! Just got tipsy on William’s dime. An odd woman did touch my hair…,” you recounted every second, leaving out why you chose William, to Alastor. You hadn’t meant to, and he hadn’t actually asked, the evening’s events just seemed to flow out of you. The way he always added little comments and nodded made it feel like a conversation and not just you rambling. 
When the car was pulling into the driveway, you asked Alastor if you could drive it behind the house. Puzzled, he put it in park and let you sit between his legs. You started slowly, but quickly began to accelerate. As you approached the house you turned sharply to the left, right side tires ever so slightly leaving the ground. A sharp correction to the right to straighten out. One of his hands clutched you at the waist, the other gripping the seat.
He tried to form some kind of words but they came out a jumbled and panicked mash of sounds as you barreled toward the greenhouse. 
You slammed your foot on the brakes and Aubrey flew off the back seat and hit the floor with a loud thud.
“Ha!” You slapped the wheel, “I’ve been wanting to hear that sound the whole drive!” 
He used both arms now to squeeze you appreciatively, “You’re just the bee’s knees.” Alastor nuzzled into the back of your neck, truly feeling his heart flutter. You made him skip a beat. So many days and nights not even imagining such a pairing.
The best scenario he could think up was a partner who wouldn’t ask questions, who didn’t care to know, who was maybe a little too naive but otherwise capable. Even in his wildest dreams he hadn’t dared to think someone would exist who could support him.
And not just in the killing, which was a hurdle of course, but the other parts of him. The little sacrifices you made for him without complaint. 
What did he do for you, he worried. Your body was his on the occasions he wanted but never did you ask for him. You shared the housework equally. Yes he drove you around but your skills with the car were still new. Insignificant things, like making your coffee when he awoke first and waiting for you after work. With the detective still looking for connections, he couldn’t even properly introduce you or flaunt you around to his circles.
Like a flash of lightning taking down a tree, insecurity shook him. What on earth was keeping you there? Of all the people in New Orleans, how was he any more worth your time than the next?
If anything, he was nothing short of troublesome. His hold on you twisted from thankful to desperate.
Even the lovely evening out he had promised you, he’d left you alone in a strange place. A stranger had bought you more drinks than he had. 
“Would you like to go to the woods with me tonight? To dispose of Aubrey?” His lips swiped across the fabric of your dress as he said it.
The sudden advancement into his hobby took you by surprise. You hugged his arms against you, “Really? Are you sure?”
“If you don’t want to…”
“Is that what I said?”
“Well, no….”
“Don’t put words in my mouth! I absolutely want to go!” Your arms squeezed his.
He chuckled into your shoulder and gave your hip a pat, “Let me get her packaged up. You go rest your feet and I’ll come get you when I’m ready to go.”
You watched from the kitchen, the light he hung from the greenhouse ceiling setting the entire space aglow. When he finally emerged, his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows and his hair was falling into his face, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose before he could push it back into place. He waved from the porch, and when you made it out to him he was already pulling out small bundles.
“We’ll bury the pieces in separate places.” He dragged out a small trash tin with the lid already clapped down. “And this goes into the water.”
The packages were like Tommy’s, but smaller. They fit easily into the trunk, and beside them he snuggly fit the metal bucket.
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The Ford was parked down a dirt road far from sight, taking a parcel at a time and a shovel, you followed him into the woods. 
You had to ask, why not just his land? Wasn’t that safer? Easier?
“Well, a skull found out here is easier to act shocked about than on my property.”
The ground was still soft, but you could imagine it was rock solid in winter. “Isn’t this dangerous? Aren’t you slowed down in the colder months?” You kept your eyes open wide, adjusting to the pitch black of the forest. The trees were too close and too full still to see the stars. But soon they’d brown and die, revealing the sky’s light. Revealing Alastor.
“Eh it’s mostly busy during mating season because the hunters come out in numbers. But in general I avoid being here in the very early morning hours.” He paused and you reached out for the shovel for your turn, “It’s not too bad overall.”
“They mate in fall. It’s almost fall now.” You widened your stance for balance and began to dig. 
“Yeeees but I’m not alone!” He chirped.
“Fine… just, don’t come out when I’m not able to join you. Just wait or, I don’t know, burn them or something.” You tried to dig fast, wanting to spare his injured hand another turn.
“Very ineffective, brings too much attention and the body never burns all the way. It’s still identifiable in many cases.” Alastor said it quickly, as he’d had nearly a lifetime to think of these things and test them. 
You huffed, “Well, fuck. Okay. Still.” You leaned over and offered your index finger, not looking at him as you did. He laughed before wiping his hand clean on his pants and hooking his with yours. 
A small scream erupted from you, startling him. Your short heel sunk into the dirt when you leaned to lock fingers. The sudden loss of balance startled you. “Sorry… flat shoes. I need flat shoes…these are gonna be the death of me.”
Alastor’s hand came to his heart, pounding in his chest, “Of us. My heart nearly stopped.”
You dug many holes, all of them quite small in radius, just wide enough to slip in what you needed to. After each was deep enough by some standard you didn’t know, he would untie the twine around the package and let the contents spill out and down into the little cylinderical pocket of dirt. 
The first package had her hands. Then next was her feet. Her arms in pieces and then later her legs. The hips, the chest and shoulders, and finally, her head. You were grateful for the darkness, not wanting to see her face now that it was no longer attached to her body. 
The brush was so thick and the woods so dense that you found it hard to distinguish the burial spots once they’d been filled in and covered up. He explained most people came out there with a purpose, not really noticing some disturbed dirt here and there. It’s not like they’re people sized.
“You’re just something else, ya know that?” You said it into the shadows and didn’t see him wince. But you somehow, accidentally, knew to clarify, “I’m always so impressed by your way of doing things. You’ve really thought it out well huh? I know I should worry less but it’s hard.”
Because of the shade you didn’t see the way his shoulders relaxed. You never made him regret your inclusion.
Alastor carried the bucket as you slowly made your way through the darkness. You could hear the sounds of bugs, though you couldn’t see any.  The water surprised you, his arm coming to stop you from walking into the bayou.
“In winter they’ll get really still, so I slow down then too. But we still have time, it’s not too cold yet for them.” He took off the lid, the smell of copper blossoming from the tin.
With practiced moves, he tossed the viscera as far as he could into the small inlet marsh of the river. 
Within seconds the water frothed and rolled with the snapping of powerful jaws.
“Gosh they’re so neat.” You said, reaching out into the darkness for his hand. You couldn’t see him looking at you as you watched the prehistoric animals dispose of his crimes.
He wanted to kiss you. To confess every little happiness you filled his formerly hollow chest with. But he held back. He knew better. He’d tried before, once. When he thought settling was better than nothing. It ended terribly. It was better to just exist beside you for as long as you’d entertain his company. If you knew, he thought, of all the futures he imagined with you, you’d just feel tied down by his hopes. You weren’t a small bird he could hold in his home. 
You promised to not get in his way. The least he could do was not cage you with his love. He wouldn’t hold you back.
“Alastor.”
“Yeah?” He said dreamily.
“I think… ” You fought the urge to scream at the sensation between your toes, “Aubrey dripped into my shoes.”
Alastor yanked the bucket away from you, the angle he haphazardly held at it with a single finger to hold your hand having caused the liquid remains to leak out.
“Ankle boots. Ankle boots, no heel.” You muttered, the shoe rinsed off in the water with a paranoid speed now squishing under your sole. The action was enough to draw attention to your shore, long and round snouts moving toward you in the night as you got rid of Aubrey. It was time to go. 
The drive home was dark and silent. The bucket and tarps rinsed with the gas can full of water he always kept in the oversized, custom built trunk. It had taken longer than you had realized, which just brought up renewed worry for his sleep schedule.
When you finally made it home and into the bedroom, he mumbled it was too late to shower. A coordinated grumble between you that you’d both just wash the sheets in the morning. Alastor sat on the end of the bed and bent down, your hand coming to his shoulder to stop him. 
Exhausted, aching, and quite confident you smelled of sweat coated dirt with the tiniest hint of dead Aubrey mixed with alive William (blood and brandy, respectively), you lowered yourself to your knees. You untied the waxed laces of the right shoe, made of a shiny brown leather, and slipped it off. 
Alastor felt his throat tighten as he had to blink to keep tears away. You always seemed to listen when he spoke. Really listened, even when he was just being playful. Another tiny sweetness piled onto the mountain you were currently burying him under. Another ounce of inadequacy tipped on his self measured scales.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Hush, I don’t have to do anything.” You said it and he laughed breathlessly knowing he’d heard it before and praying he’d hear it forever. “I want to.”
You set the left shoe beside the right. When you didn’t stand but instead stared at him patiently, Alastor undid his pants and lifted his hips to push them down. You folded them neatly beside his shoes. Feeling up his legs as if you couldn’t see them there in front of you, you found his sock garters. 
“Keep the socks, please. It’s getting chilly.” He undid his shirt and folded it on his lap. 
When he was in just his underwear and socks, you looked up at him and wondered if he knew. That this was the closest to expressing “I love you” you had ever been. The act itself perhaps far louder than any words could be.
Sitting back, he patted between his legs like he had in the car. As you sat, he undid the buttons down the back of your dress. Why were so many women’s clothing items made in a way that required two people?
In the mirror above the dresser you took in the sight. When the dress fell to your waist he kissed your shoulder and met you in the reflection.
“Quite a pretty couple, if I do say so myself.” He rested his chin where he had just kissed and smiled at you. “What did I do to deserve your attention?”
“Affection,” you corrected. “Aubrey got attention.” He nodded slightly. “I think it’s karma.” You watched his brow arch. “You’ve earned me. Whatever that means, or looks like. We were put together for a reason.”
It was the sappiest thing you’d ever said and a year ago you’d have laughed in someone’s face for saying it. If a character in a novel spewed it out in a confession you’d have closed the book. But you meant it. Every single word was part of the fact this was supposed to happen. The idea that any timeline existed where your paths never crossed gave you the shivers.
Alastor closed his eyes, exhaustion catching up quickly as comfort opened the door for it. That didn’t make any sense to him at all. Why would anyone, god or the devil, give him something good just for the sake of being a good thing. He was very plainly bad. There must be a catch. That fear he felt before, the fear of wanting something too much, reappeared. Turning its ugly head to him as if called by name. 
Why? He could feel something, someone, setting their sights on him. 
When he opened his eyes, you were there still, looking at him. A smile too sweet. He felt the compulsion to tell you to run. That if this was his karma, it would end the way he deserved. And he didn’t deserve happiness. He didn’t deserve you.
But instead he leaned down, lifted your dress, and unclamped your garters. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to cling to what good he had now. Even knowing he couldn’t possibly get to keep it. His fingertips delighted in rolling down the delicate nylon. He watched the red stained end loosen around your toes, a mental note to burn them before he continued his undressing.
“Lift your hips, my love. I’ll get you all ready for bed.” As he pressed forward and bent into you so he could slip off the stockings he turned to look at the you in front of him, “And I’ll keep you warm.”
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:・
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98
, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,
@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies
@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum
, @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000
@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain
@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,
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@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12
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melukonova · 6 months
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LOVING SEPHIROTH, sephiroth x reader.
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tw. mentions of his hurtful past, emotional abuse that miniroth didn't deserve :( this post can be seen as suggestive but it's left mostly to your interpretation
a/n. for @silverflqmes , my best friend who has inspired me to write yet again for something i love and for writing various requests for me, indulging me in my own happiness. you are never leaving this deep hole of ff7 that i dug for you AHAHAHAH! this is also for the many fans who have made fanfics and such that have shaped me now<3 much love to you all! (i will make more headcanons if this gets love) also sephiroth might be a little ooc since he's new territory of writing for me :,)
info. very lovable and soft sephiroth<3 very short blurbs! inspired by the song everything by lifehouse, i can see him relating about you, the reader, and how he feels for you. enjoy! pre-nibelheim!!!
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𐚁. sephiroth's love language can be seen as quality time as seen with the time he spent with genesis and angeal, he grew very attached easily. i can see this in a similiar way since i'm sure once you've caught sephiroth's eye, you're happily in his heart. he enjoys just being together, perhaps he'll teach you how to use masamune (a toy version at least since he wants to protect you from injuries). don't get me wrong, every other love language applies for him too but i know he's happiest with the fact that you're there by his side.
𐚁. he is very awkward with affection so the first time you hold him, i think he wouldn't know what to do but he'll awkwardly pat your back while trying not to freak out a bit by being touched since he was experimented on as a child. please teach him how to love, he didn't get enough as kid... i think being patient with him would also warm his heart with you as well. he isn't the best with people, just in using his sword... which is why it's an anomaly to him if you stuck around for this long.
𐚁. indulging ellie on this one: sephiroth with a kitten. he probably is the one to adopt a kitten out of the two of you except what you didn't expect was him to basically mother the kitten. i think his wounds are still healing from the fact that the locket of his mother was torn away from him.. but you guys both loved that kitten very much, naming saikou which means radiance. it is the radiance of both of your lives and definitely a way to heal from your guys' pain, whatever it may be from your end but i know sephiroth suffers from loneliness and feeling not good enough. he feels this much less because of you though and of course, saikou. saikou is now your love rival... the kitty is his precious baby but you are his most prized treasure.
𐚁. while i said quality time is his favorite love language, i think that he likes physical affection as well since he never really knew what it's like to be loved. he wanted to learn though as well as learn to love you which led to teaching him how to cuddle. still very awkward, he's trying his very hardest as he pats your head and encases you into his body. eventually it led to couch cuddles every time he came home from work, he won't say it out loud but this is his favorite part of being able to be with you. he is so beyond smitten.
𐚁. as sephiroth had been in SOLDIER all of his life, he's not completely sure the best way to comfort you on many things but what he can do is to give you a better night! he'd come home with flowers since somehow zack had talked him into buying flowers from his girlfriend, what can i say? zack was a persuasive businessman and sephiroth had no clue how to be a good boyfriend. he'd probably panic if he couldn't make you feel better, he just wants you happy and would slay his enemies (those who wronged you). he'd indulge you in just about anything that you wanted to do between him trying on your favorite dress, self-care day with face masks, kisses all over to make you less insecure or just to feel more loved, an ice cream date, etc. you name it and it's done. he'd even sneak you into the training room on the SOLDIER floor to take you on a loving date with an even more beautiful sunset but all he could see was his sun, you.
𐚁. you already know his hair care routine since it was leaked from your mail, did i mention you were apart of sephiroth's fan club? he uses a WHOLE bottle of shampoo and conditioner. one day you had to braid his hair, adding in flowers to his hair as you braided it. he loved it since it kept his face clear for combat, meanwhile genesis and angeal snickered at him since his s/o made him look all pretty so none of his enemies would take him seriously. masamune said differently than his hair did. if somebody ruined the artwork of your braiding? they ALSO had a date with masamune.
𐚁. he doesn't like a lot of attention as many would say since he is so famous. this is the big question, how did you enter his life in comparison to the fangirls? you understood him. it was a new feeling for him and he didn't know how much he would end up loving it. no thirsting over how hot he was or saying how strong he had been. just a simple: "i know you've been working hard for so long, you deserve some rest," was enough to make him moved by you. nobody could compare to you in his innocent heart. he was so new to every experience, every hug, every kiss, and every touch you gave him. each time was something new that he had learned to love about you and eventually love about himself as well. you helped him to understand he was more than a monster, more than a soldier, more than just a test subject.
𐚁. what you hadn't expect is to find a loving sephiroth in the kitchen with you, holding you close to him as you listened to italian cooking music (the pasta addict in me thinks he'd want to learn more about pasta and its origin). his head was leaning down towards yours while staring down at your lips as you both had been swaying. his hand had been on your waist and the other had been moving up from your shoulder, over your neck slowly with care, to your soft cheek. capturing you in his lips, the water had boiled over but he didn't care at that moment. the thing he clung onto most was this moment because at this moment, sephiroth just knew. he was in love and he finally felt free as he deepened the kiss. he knew where home was and he was kissing his own home, taking in all of what makes you so lovable as well.
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melukonova, 2024. 𐀔
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 6 months
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Would Jenny allow Danny to tinker with her? I know robotics isn’t exactly the same as aerospace engineering (and I do be headcanoning that my boy chose this as his major since he wants to be an astronaut), but with all the experience he had from handling his parents inventions I believe he can be trusted with fixing something as complex as a robot. I like to think that Danny was really impressed with how Jenny was made and secretly wanted to take a look at how she works, but was too shy to ask because he knows how it’s like to be treated like an object and not a person (with the whole “ghosts are non-sentient globs of ectoplasm with post-human consciousness” spiel he heard so many times) and didn’t want to make Jenny uncomfortable. I believe it took Jenny some time and getting to know Danny and his engineering skills before she let him fix her when she got something badly broken. It was like a show of ultimate trust from Jenny’s side and Danny was flattered, humbled and very respectful. And super careful of course, constantly asking how Jenny’s doing or feeling while he tinkered, mindful of her. I bet she was touched.
Not gonna lie, this is one of the more fascinating asks I got - if only because its incredibly interesting to read about your take/interpretation of Danny & Jenny's relationship! I hope you don't mind me saying, but it feels like you adore both characters and it's very cute!
Well, now, in HoM AU, both Danny and Jenny are close friends and indeed Danny is one of the few people who Jenny trusts with - well, herself - her mechanical self. Like you, I headcanon Danny as quite mechanicaly gifted - in HoM AU he actually graduated college/uni with engineering degree, so he got education to polish his raw skills! He is one of the first people who would help Jenny in and out of the field, if there is a minor malfunction or an injury of some sort!
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But even for that to happen it took a couple of years and a few adventures together.
So to answer the original question, I would have to say that in HoM AU specifically, neither Danny would ask to 'tinker' with her, nor Jenny would probably be totally comfortable with that question if asked. 'Tinkering' would imply a degree of casual poking around, and in this case, both Danny and Jenny have certain life experiences that gave them... boundaries when it comes to their own and others' autonomy. Jenny especially.
(a bit of random background info dump here to explain the reasoning, but feel free to ignore it, since i basically answered the ask xD i just got bitten by a writing bunny, so its gotten a bit long - be warned!)
When Jenny was younger and only just acclimatizing herself with human world and amongst teenagers, she was rather blaze at times with how much access to her body she gave to her human friends and acquaintances.
After all, her mother was rather frank about it - often poking around in Jenny's mechanics and code. But it was her mother, who created her (sort of 'why are you covering yourself, i made you i already know what you have' mother attitude, which is a bit over-controlling and invasive to other's autonomy, but well, Jenny is a robot after all) and it a completely different deal from others.
So, despite her mother's warnings there are instances when Jenny was not very careful. Like when she allowed Brad, Tuck and Sheldon to literally remove and rip out her stuff in pursuit of fashion goals. Or when she dropped her guard around Todd Sweeney and got reprogrammed for her good deed.
And during the events of the last episode, she was once again controlled, by Dr Locus. While not exactly her fault, it still left a lasting impression that any mechanically gifted person could be dangerous to her.
Now, this is where we venture into my personal headcanons for MLAATR that are tied into HoM-verse:
Another aspect of Jenny's developed caution to giving access to her body - is the fact that she is not considered as a real person in the eye of the government/world. She is a thing, a weapon created by Dr. Walkman. She does not have the same rights as a human, and on paper she does not even have rights to her own body. It's all patented Nora Wakeman technology, (secretly) founded by the government.
And she has been fighting it ever since she was a teenager and refused to be called an IT - XJ-9 - and became a HER, a teenage girl Jenny, who also just happens to be a robot.
At first it started as a simple teenage rebellion and she went to school and started to hang out with other kids, but what about later after she graduates? Will she be even allowed to? Sure, maybe her school will give her a diploma, but how legal will it be to give something like that to someone who is legally not a real person? After all, its not like when other kids will turn 18 and can be their own people, not under the legal control of their parents. Jenny is her mother's property, intellectual and physical. For her to be considered a real person in the eye of government, it would require a law being passed about recognizing sentience of Artificial Intelligence.
And sure, she could probably be made an exception, being a hero robot and all, but the problem is, she is not the only human-made robot in existence! What about her sisters, who are prototypes and are not as developed as her? Her brother, who seemed to develop sentiency to the point of turning on humans?? Melody and Killgore?? And its not only in her world (cartoon), but in others (since its a crossover). So the question about AI/Robot sentience, no matter if they are good or bad or how developed they are, would not concern only her, it would be a global debate.
And we all know how the governments of the world would feel about passing laws about sentience of artificial beings that were created to serve the human race. It would be a struggle one way or another.
So, as she grows up and sees the world refusing to aknowledge her as a person, she doesnt have legal rights to finish school and go to college, to get a job, to get married, heck she cant even have a legal documentation that doesnt says 'Dr. Wakeman's creation'. The government says: your body belongs to us, because we paid for Dr. Wakeman to make you - you belong to us, we control you.
That, on top of several unpleasant experiences with other people disregarding her autonomy, will equal to Jenny trying to get some sense of that control back. So she starts to be more cautious about how much access others have to her physical self; she starts to build and reinforce boundaries with other people, starting with her family and friends.
It was one of the darkest days in Sheldon's life, when Jenny started to firmly say 'no' to whenever he asked her about her inner workings and casual access for poking around. xD Tuck was not a happy camper either, that his favorite robot friend became very stingy with all the cool stuff. But Brad got it. And after gentle (and sometimes not) reminders, others became more understanding.
It was a little harder with her mother. Dr. Wakeman truly loved her daughter, but she was a scientist first and mother second. She was so used to casual access to Jenny, in order to keep maitanance that it was hard for her to break the habits. Its still a constant struggle, but she has gotten so much better.
Now, when it came to her new friends amongst HoMies, she already has built a set of boundaries that allowed her to feel more secure as a person, despite how the world sees her, but she is much more reserved to opening herself up to others, at least compared to how she first approached people when she was younger.
It took a few missions and getting to know them better, for her to start trusting with them with her mechanical self. But now a few years later, she feels comfortable enough with most of them to give her a helping hand when needed!
Of course not everyone are capable of helping her though: Danny, Kim and Zak are three of more mechanically oriented people who can help. Though Danny is the one with actual education in that field, while Kim and Zak learned more by necessity, from Kim's various jobs and Zak to operate the Saturday's equipments.
When Rex joined them, he actually became the second best person for her to come to if she needed help. Not only because he has unprecedent skills in mechanics, but also because of his nanites. (but thats info dump for another time, lol)
Jun has some basic knowledge in mechanics, but nowhere near enough for her to feel comfortable poking in Jenny's insides. Jake is perhaps the least capable of helping, when it comes to engineering, followed by newbie Randy (tho we really aint counting him tbh xD).
Ben is a complicated situation - he has some training and knowledge in engineering and robotics because of his Plumber training, but Jenny has heard horror tales from Gwen about how he treats his stuff (the whole hacking/playing with Omnitrix settings), so she flat out refuses for Ben to touch her. However in emergency/battle situation she would allow Ben to use one of his aliens to do so (like, Grey Matter or Upgrade).
So, we talked about Jenny's experiences and why they would contribute to her feeling uncomfortable if someone asked to 'tinker' with her.
Now, let's talk about why Danny would not ask to 'tinker' with her in the first place.
Like you said, Danny is all to familiar with the struggle of being part of something tat is hardly recognized as a sentient species - he had to listen to his parents dismiss ghost sentience most of his younger life. Of course, they have gotten much better since the... 'finale' of DP, but this sort of racism? xenophobia? (im not rally sure which term to use tbh) prejudice against ghosts would have left a lasting impression on Danny.
So I dont remember if I ever implied it, but in HoM AU - events of DP finale happened very differently and the resulting consequences of it diverged a lot from Mr ButtHurtman's 'canon'.
(Also, I had ideas about it, before a Glitch In Time came out, so events from there were not taken into consideration. )
I don't want to reveal much, because it is kinda one of my planned flashback for HoM, but the events that happened reinforced Danny's ... well lets say regard of people's autonomy? It's kind of hard to put into words.
Ok, let's explain it like this: Danny would not ask Jenny if he could look at how she worked and if he could tinker with her, because it would be like if his Mom and Dad casually asked if they could perform a vivisection on him to see how different he is from a full human.
And while sure, the comparison might sound a bit extreme, since there is a difference when it comes to robots and humans about 'poking around' in their innards. But to Danny - it would be too close of a comparison - because of the whole 'recognition of sentience' thing.
After all, wasn't it just some years ago, his parents cried that ghost are nothing more than lump of malicious energy that have no feelings? They changed their mind after Danny's reveal, which allowed them to actually listen and look into evidence proving otherwise and learn. And here is Jenny, struggling to be recognized as a person, since she is considered nothing more than a lump of metal with no feelings - just a weapon to be pointed in a certain direction.
And Danny would feel like asking Jenny if he could casually poke inside her, is a bit... hypocritical? And not to mention insenstitive. After all, he knows how she feels - she is basically still living his worst imagined life in some ways.
So, I don't think he will ever ask to study how she works by casually poking inside her.
HOWEVER -
At some point, after they became friends, Danny would feel like he should know at least some basics on how Jenny works, just so he could help her in an emergency.
I imagine it happened after a particularly rough mission, and Danny had to help Jenny back home since she was unable to do so herself, so Dr. Wakeman could fix her. After some time thinking, he would sit in front of both Nora and Jenny and ask them for permission if he could learn how Jenny works - from Nora.
After all, Danny does not need to poke inside Jenny to learn how she functions, when there is her mother right there - the creator, the maintanance and doctor all in one package, with access to blueprints and all intricate knowledge, who can evaluate what Danny needs to know in accordance to his passable engineering skills. She could teach him the basics - but of course not without Jenny's permission.
So he asks her, if he could learn, because he is tired of looking how she gets hurt along with them, but unlike most of them she can not be easily fixed with bandages and some time. And Danny, since he is one of the few of them who has the skills, would like to be actually able to help her with those skills. But it is her body - it is her choice, to trust him or not.
And Jenny would be speechless. It would be the first time someone asked her like that. Not even Kim, who is one of her closest friends, asked before (but mostly because Kim was perfectly aware that she is nowhere skilled enough to even think about it).
And you would be right. It would be a show of ultimate trust from Jenny, to agree for Danny to learn. And maybe at some point, simply learning, turned into more on hands learning in some small ways. And Jenny's trust was never betrayed, and Danny always stayed humbled and aware of that.
so, i hope the answer was satisfying, or at least entertaining for you! thank you again, your ask was delightful to read and allowed me to explore some of my own backstory parts for HoM a little bit more!
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tizeline · 6 months
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I’ve never seen a separated au with Leo being raised by big mama, what do you think that would be like? (Since he’s kinda rebellious)
For the record, there are AUs where Leo's been raised by Big Mama, the ones I know of are Gemini AU by tangledinink and True Colors AU by v-albion. I'm not super familiar with either of them, but they're there if you wanna check them out.
That being said-
LEO being raised by BIG MAMA omg I have THOUGHTS
Listen, I don't see enough people compare Leo to Big Mama, but he's quite similar to her. Splinter and BM never got a kid together, BUT IF THEY DID that kid would literally be Leo he's basically just a fusion of the two of them!!
As I've mentioned several times before because I love bringing it up, Leo is strategic, quick-witted, observant and good at talking. In the show (as well as in my own AU) Leo's strengths aren't really recognized, let alone aknowledged for a big portion of the story. Because of that, for a long time he doesn't really get the chance to develop these skills, as much potential Leo has to become a master planner his impulsiveness and inexperience has a tendency to get him into trouble.
BUT! All of these skills also happen to be skills that Big Mama has and would value in Leo. So if he were to actually have to opportunity to not only be raised by BM but also trained by her for his entire life. If he got to properly learn strategy, planning, manipulation...?
... Holy shit Leo would be terrifying.
Think about it, canon!Leo managed to out-smart BM in Many Unhappy Returns without any real experience, just imagine what he could do with a whole life-time of training.... yikes!
Not sure what exactly Big Mama and Leo's relationship would look like. In my opinion she would view him as her son and love him dearly, especially if she knew that he's Splinter's biological son.... it's just that BM has interesting ways of showing affection. ("The love of my life just proposed to me?? Great! I'm gonna lock him up in my gladiator fighting ring for the rest of eternity!") She'd at the very least be quite controlling, I imagine.
As you pointed out, Leo can be quite rebellious, so that mixed with Big Mama's obsessive need to be in complete control of everyone around her would certainly cause some tension. Actually... considering how clever Leo would be in this AU... uh oh.
All of these qualities that BM initially appreciated and encouraged in Leo, what if, as Leo became more and more capable, Big Mama started to eventually view them in a more negative light? If she feels like she's loosing control over Leo, if she interprets Leo's rebellion as not just a normal teenage need for independence but rather him malicously working against her. What if she starts viewing him not as an asset or as a tool, but rather a threat?
If BM has reason to believe that Leo might try to overthrow her and take control over her criminal empire, she might take preemptive action and get rid of him before he has the chance to get rid of her.... Not like murder-get-rid-of, I don't think she'd just kill him, lol! But like lock him up, maybe throw him into the Battle Nexus, I dunno. Anything that would allow her to remain in control of both him and her business.
As for Leo, maybe he would actually try to overthrow BM. Considering he was raised by a literal mafia boss, his moral compass is gonna be a bit wack. Maybe Leo's desire for control over himself would cause him to try to seize control over his mother's business. Oooooorrrrr maybe Leo just wants some independance but doesn't actually want to compete with BM, so when she interprets his actions and behavior as malicious he's not prepared for that at all and, as a result, is more than a little hurt that his own mother would take such extreme actions against him. Who knows?
Hhhhhhh there's a lot of fun posibilities here but MAN I'm not really in the mood to work on an entirely new AU. Maybe I'll create some art for it I dunno, this concept is really fun, but I'm not gonna turn this into a proper Thing, so if anyone else wanna steal this concept and explore it for themselves, feel more than free to do that!
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10underoot2 · 5 months
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Character Study - The chilling warmth of Haein
Haein is a really misunderstood character. She has dark humour. She cares immensely but doesn't show it very openly. She hides her feelings cause she doesn't like to be vulnerable. She's very quick to say things that protect her emotions and she bites with her words just to protect herself. But all of this assertive feistiness comes at a cost. People tend to misunderstand and write Hong Haein off as mean, rude, cold and difficult to live/work with.
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Her personality and tendency to appear uncaring has a lot to do with the lack of warmth she received by her family especially her mother. When she meets Hyunwoo she's no different, she puts on no pretences. Over time she warms up to him and shows him her softer more vulnerable side - all of which I'm sure aided in him falling for her deeply. But then that damned chasm occurs, and Hyunwoo much like the rest of the world forgets Haein's soft heart and soul that live underneath the iron clad armour she wears. It hurts me when I think about the pain she experienced realising she's misunderstood even from the man who once showered her with unyielding love and warmth.
Some incidents of Hyunwoo misunderstanding her are so interesting:
- The scene where Haein requests/orders Hyunwoo to accompany her to the hospital.
I love that it was shot from both perspectives. In her mind she sounds extremely soft and worried. It was a request meant to be delivered that way. I'm sure Haein couldn't register what her tone was because her intention were so soft. Why would he reject my request, He's free I'm just asking him to accompany me? But Hyunwoo had just heard about the will. That paired up with the continuous blows he's received the past two years were too much for him to take a moment and understand that this is how she's always spoken.
-The rain scene after their Yongduri night stay (I hold the belief that Haein did indeed often wait up for him).
Haein says: 'I really wasn't waiting for you.' to which Hyunwoo replies 'I know better than anyone, you're not the kind of person who would wait up for me.' In the scene you can see Haein slightly taken aback and offended by that. Because she is the kind of person who waits up for him. Her offence seems so justified. Because why can't Hyunwoo of all people see the real her. When did he forget to understand her? It must be so hurtful for her to think Hyunwoo's forgotten how warm she was with him. I imagine she used to wait up for him before the miscarriage but here she's listening to her husband say she's not that kind of person. (That little scene where Haein sits on the sofa waiting but Hyunwoo chose not to ask her if she was okay is my evidence! There was a post on this as well a while ago!)
It's also evident in her desire to run a hand over his shoulder to remove the dampness there. Her screaming at him to hold the umbrella properly. But he's so oblivious and deaf to her love that it hurts to witness.
- The bar after their day at the Lavender field in Germany at their honeymoon
Haein smiles and says, she wasn't angry after he told her that he had noticed no one else and that his eyes were only on her. But Hyunwoo remembers her being angry for another two hours. This scene was such a small example of it. What if Haein's anger did immediately dissipate but Hyunwoo just interpreted it as her still being angry. I can't offer any evidence as we don't see this scene but their different accounts make me think what if she was just feeling down but he assumed it was a continuation of her anger.
There are so many other examples sprinkled throughout the show as well. I started off really disliking her character but I've grown to really appreciate it. Because once you see how warm Hong Haein is in love, you'll see just how fierce, loyal and undying her conviction and mind is. She'll show and tell you in the most beautiful ways just how much she cares without ever telling you she loves you. She's not cold, she's just misunderstood.
Unfortunately though, life isn't a drama. So when people like this do exist, they tend to be written off as cold, harsh, unlovable. Humans have the potential to be infinitely complex creatures which is why it's been so interesting to see Haein's multi faceated character these past 8 weeks.
Just an additional thought: I also love the difference between Haein and Hyunwoo's business ideologies. Haein is sharp, to the point, efficiency, money and loyalty oriented. While Hyunwoo is soft, caring, warm and people oriented.
We see Hyunwoo's ideology against his father in law. When the FIL wanted to stab his long serving employee it was unfathomable for Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo's ties with the past employees of Queens got him so much information and support. His logical request to the manager of maintenance to make it snow comes after a long, good relationship - it's pretty evident in that scene. I loved how the show displayed Hyunwoo's ability to make deep and good relationships and how it ended up helping them to get Queens back. It's a hugeee contrast to how things run in the Hong Family. It was very fresh to see him show from his actions 'You can be nice and still get the job done'.
But even Hae-in's contacts, though acquired differently, are just as instrumental. The employee she took a stand for, the juice guy and Secretary Na. None of them would call her warm or soft but they would sing her praises if you ever ask them. It's such an interesting parallel between their characters. It also goes to show Haein is a good person, she just tends to show it very selectively and rarely. I do think the 1 Trillion club made her think of only money and efficiency for a while, but I still do believe she had been doing good away from public eyes, changing people's lives - it's just that no one was there to witness or publicize them.
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ooihcnoiwlerh · 4 months
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I have provided fresh meat, my Darlings!
The link to the entire fic as well as the new chapter is provided above.
@blazeflays @wo-ming-bai @richardslady121 Also please let me know if you would also liked to be tagged with updates!
CW: dubious consent; arranged marriage; forced marriage; forced pregnancy; rough sex; implied/referenced child abuse; blood kink; problematic smut; implied/referenced sexual abuse; implied/referenced torture
Chapter summary: Feyd-Rautha and the Reader look at each other and think, "They need work, but it's fine. I'm training them."
Chapter Notes:
-This chapter doesn't have quite as much plot or action and is generally more introspective/kind of shows a turning point and transition to both the Reader starting to learn to play the game and Feyd-Rautha seeking to challenge and unnerve her. Basically the Reader thinking, "I don't think I can reasonably make him better but I can make him treat me better" and Feyd thinking, "I can make her worse😈" -There have been a lot of interpretations of Feyd-Rautha's Darlings given that there's little information we're really given within the movie and I really like the theory that I've seen going around that they're effectively animals with human bodies that were experimented on by the Bene Tleilax.
CHAPTER SEVEN: YOU'RE LEARNING
You wake up early the next morning to your morning coffee and a reminder of your mother’s advice.  She dispensed it more than once over the years, enough that you were able to repeat it verbatim: sometimes a person isn’t a person, but an obstacle. Sometimes they’re obstacles that you need to face, problems that you need to solve. Find out what they need that you can use to get ahead.
So what does Feyd-Rautha want and how do you get it for him in order to temper him, make him more amenable to you?  He’s made clear at this point what he doesn’t want: compassion that he’s undoubtedly misconstrued as pity, any reminders of his childhood and adolescence, and any insinuations–intentional or otherwise–that he’s inadequate as a man.  
That leaves what he does want from you, and for the most part you think you know.  He wants you to have his children, and that’s in progress if not now, then soon.  He wants, well, other than last night, he’s been transparent that he wants you , carnally if for nothing else.
He also wants you to properly learn to fight at the level he wants, and there’s no way it’s just for your sake, or even wanting you to stay safe as the mother of his future children.  Those are a given.  
You can’t forget the way he’d gotten hard during your training and the way he spoke about it later.  You hadn’t seen it in the arena when he was slashing throats with theatricality and precision but little else, but this must be intimate for him.  It doesn’t surprise you once you think about it; a man who enjoys the taste of your blood would most certainly get off on getting a knife at your throat, even if he’s not allowed to cut it.
So how do you use that?  The Reverend Mother Mohiam all but stated that seduction was the key to tempering and subduing him into something you can handle but that’s easier said than done.  You’ve understood on some level for years now that you’d one day have to learn to use your sex as a tool, but it’s easier to implement in theory rather than practice.  The limited experience you’ve had before this–kisses both stolen and given freely at night when you’d slipped away unsupervised, fondling over the clothes, above the waist, and once grasping and sliding your hand over a boy you’d liked as he’d panted and moaned directions at you and you’d frantically tried to finish him off before either of you could get caught--weren’t for an agenda but for its own enjoyment.  Before your wedding night the only person who’d dared go beneath your skirts was you.  And then, of course, you’re reasonably certain that most men don’t keep an entire armoire of devices to use or have used on them while in bed, that most men aren’t eager to taste their wife’s blood, that most men don’t carry around the kind of shame and buried anger that your husband does wrapped in a deep-seated need to hurt and be hurt.
But that’s the hand that you’ve been dealt, and the only leverage you’ll be getting out of this marriage is by appealing to those desires and using your own body as a tool to keep him satiated and keep you in the best of his care.
By the time you’ve finished plaiting your hair you’ve decided that you’ve learned enough since your wedding night that you can try and use to your advantage.  You’ll keep adapting and if one of the ways to win him over is at knifepoint, then so be it.
And if he wants to banish everyone from the Training Halls so he can rut into you like an animal next to a rack of knives, then fine.  You can take him however he comes to you.
You try to keep all this in mind as you leave your chambers and take to the Training Halls for another lesson.
Feyd-Rautha already appears to have broken a sweat.  Drills, you assume, and done alongside his men if their matching sheens are anything to go by.
Korvo’s back to train you, he says.  He needed to have part of his jaw wired shut but otherwise he’s fine; he just won’t be able to talk much for a while.
And strangely enough it’s true; whatever Healer Korvo went to did an excellent job because there’s not a lot of bruising or swelling.  It occurs to you that he looks a few years older than Feyd, and you can’t help but wonder what Korvo thought about the hushed rumors about the Baron’s proclivities years ago.  About Feyd-Rautha, the boy who’s become the man he now serves.
As for your husband, it’s as if the past couple of nights never happened.  He seems indifferent as he hands you your shield device and a knife.  There’s not a trace of the quiet rage from early yesterday morning nor the cold domination of last night.  Not that you were ever going to ask him, especially not with other people around, but he gives you your answer to the silent question, When are we going to talk about yesterday? The answer?  Never .
He has Korvo start off slowly with you, a warm-up of sorts, movements guarded as you go over strikes and parries before taking over for the rest of your session.
You think you’re prepared for it this time as he starts to speed up, stops going through the motions and actually starts sparring with you.  You tell yourself that no one’s going to catch you unawares again, but well.  His training is a lot more extensive than yours.  You let out a yelp, realizing yet again that you weren’t focused enough on his footwork and he’s taken the opportunity to trip you.  You stumble, catching yourself just in time to avoid a fall.
“You’ve had a day to rest,” Feyd says.  “There’s no reason you can’t be pushed farther.”
To rest .  He was the one that told you not to come and train yesterday.  You clench your jaw and strike again.  If anything Feyd-Rautha seems amused by your irritation and sends you stumbling again with a swat on the backside with the flat of his knife.
You turn, incredulous and with an insult on the tip of your tongue.
“Don’t strike in anger,” he says, holding back a smirk.  You raise your chin and try to level your gaze at him as you try to collect yourself.
Hey, this is actually a good sign , a part of you realizes.  There’s something almost close to playful in the way he’s looking at you right now.  He’s already in a far better mood than he was yesterday .  This is working for him.
You roll your shoulders and take a defensive stance, silently gesturing for him to strike first, and this time he actually grins.
Breakfast afterwards is its own task.  You’ve gotten your appetite back this morning, but only when you forget everything except your own hunger and especially try your best to ignore the man at the head of the table.  You’ll try to bury what you know about the Baron for now, or at least try to act like he doesn’t disgust you.  Not that he’d care what you think of him, not like you can do anything about it.
Instead you wonder about what motherhood looks like on this planet.  You’ll not want for anything, you’re sure, in terms of space for the baby and help raising it, but you hope the Baron isn’t an indicator of how children are raised here.  You haven’t seen many children in the Fortress–the sons and daughters of captains and generals, you’re sure–and you haven’t interacted with any. Feyd-Rautha mentioned military and combat training for any sons you’ll have but what about general schooling?  
When the children come, surely you’ll be a part of their lives somehow?  You’ll make certain of it.  You have to; they’ll be raised in the Harkonnen culture but they’ll still be half you , and you’ll do everything to make sure they never forget that, where you come from and the half of them that you represent.
“Not too tired from your training session, are you?” Feyd-Rautha asks, and you realize that you’ve been drifting off, staring into the distance.  You hadn’t expected him to notice.
“Oh, no, husband,” you tell him.  “Just lost in thought.  Actually, I was curious about where one might put a nursery in the private quarters.”  Not that there would’ve been any use for them within the royal family in decades, but surely there must have been something installed before?
As soon as Feyd starts to answer, the Baron interrupts, “What are you training her for?”
“Just in the event of an emergency or ambush, I want her to be prepared to defend herself.  If the time ever comes that I’m not there to do it for her,” Feyd-Rautha adds.
The Baron looks at him with those beady blue eyes.  “You really think such a thing will ever happen, boy?” he asks, and there’s an undercurrent to his tone that makes you look away, never mind that they’ve started talking about you as if you aren’t there.
Boy .  As if not just Feyd’s title but his very manhood is a privilege his uncle bestows on him that he can revoke at a moment’s notice.
Feyd ignores the taunt.  “Just planning ahead,” he says.  It doesn’t come back up.  When you excuse yourself to use the bathroom the Baron doesn’t react when you come back.  He barely seems to notice you’re there.
To him, you are not family.  You are the orifice his handsome young nephew buries himself in and the birthing canal that will add to the Harkonnen lineage, but not a real person who’s earned any familiarity with him nor will you ever be.  That suits you just fine and you find that you’d rather he ignore you than pay any special attention to you, just so long as he never gets to sink his claws into your future children.  
Speaking of which, “The Fortress has everything you could need,” Feyd says.  “Our children will have their own quarters and plenty of staff to watch over them.”
And how about allowing me to watch over them? you want to ask, but won’t, especially since you’re not alone.  Or do ladies of leisure outsource all of that here?   Idrisa will know; you’ll save your real questions for her.
After breakfast Feyd-Rautha offers you his arm.  “I imagine you’re interested in the relaxation chambers now?” he asks.  “They provide massages.  Great for the joints.”
“I could be persuaded,” you tell him, feeling not just sore from earlier this morning but from two days ago.  You’d never considered yourself a lazy person but you’ve also never committed to any kind of daily training regimen and the nighttime and occasionally additional morning routines in the bedroom certainly haven’t helped.
“It’s interesting,” you tell him, “training with you and seeing how you do it, even if I’m not there for all of it.”
“That wasn’t my last training session for the day,” he says.  “I’m going back soon.”
You blink.  “Why?” you ask him.  He’d clearly started early and gotten his heart pumping by the time you’d arrived.
“To be as physically prepared as I can for the arena showing on my birthday.  It’s less than three weeks away at this point,” he says.
You look over at him with your brows furrowed.  What does he really need extra preparation for?  He’s in no danger, there’s no real risk.
He seems to understand your confusion.  “It’s important that I look like I'm in top form,” he explains, which just presents further questions.
How will they even know what your body looks like?  If it’s anything like last time, you’ll be the only fighter in the arena that’s fully dressed .
“Well, alright,” you finally.  You look back at him.  “So you’re going to have to get changed again into training gear, and then shower again and change again after that?”
“Yes,” he says, voice curt.  “Appearance is important here.”
Yours is, certainly , you don’t tell him.  But you do realize that your uncle’s still the Baron and he floats around in his suspensor chair wearing a long nightgown?  If he’s ever cared about his appearance, he must’ve stopped years ago .  You suppose that it’s one of many ways that Feyd’s turned out differently from him, although not the most important.  It’s not for nothing that even though you have no idea how he’ll turn out as a parent–yet another thing that scares you about this–he still won’t be as bad of a parental figure as his uncle.
He looks at you for a moment and you realize that you haven’t spoken and have just enough sense to realize that giving a simpering compliment about his looks will come across as not only disingenuous but suspicious.  “My apologies,” you admit.  “I was just thinking about what expectations will be placed on our children.”
“Our son, although we’ll need more than one, will embody all Harkonnen core values: power, ambition, resilience, intellect.  I’ll accept no less and neither will anyone else on Geidi Prime,” he says. How long has he been thinking about fatherhood, you wonder?  Or is he repeating what he’s been told time and time again what the Baron wants out of him? 
“And if one of our children is a daughter?” you ask, hoping that doesn’t happen.  It’s bad enough to be a man on this planet.
“She’ll be expected to be gracious, discreet, and always careful and cognizant of her surroundings,” Feyd says.  “She’ll be composed even under pressure and adaptable.”
You try to absorb this, wondering how much he thinks you fit that mold yourself and assuming that you come up short.  “I thought the first word you were going to say was fertile ,” you tell him.
“That goes without saying,” he says.  “It’ll be her greatest contribution to the family to add to its lineage.”
I think you just described my responsibilities and expectations here, you think as he escorts you to the relaxation chambers.
Before he leaves he gives you a brief kiss–a little reward, perhaps, for minding yourself.  “You’re learning,” is all he says.
You’d expected the rooms to have the same austere black and gray background as the Dining Halls, the Throne Room, even the bedrooms, but whatever materials used for the doors and panels emulate the colors and patterns of cedar even though you doubt it’s real wood and the textured walls are painted a warm, pale cream.  It feels like a different environment entirely, reminiscent of the women’s bathhouses on your home planet.  The attendant inside recognizes you immediately, although you assume that it’s hardly a challenge.  “ You can’t mistake the Na-Baroness ,” you’re sure servants tell each other, “ she’s the only one in this Fortress with hair. ”
Most of the attendants are women, and again most of them seem young, hardly more than girls.
“Welcome, Na-Baroness.  We do so hope that you enjoy our accommodations,” the first attendant says, her head in a respectful decline as she curtsies.  “How may we be of service today?��
When you tell her that you were hoping for a simple massage because your joints have been feeling stiff she reacts as though you’ve told her that all your bones have shattered.
“I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been in discomfort, Na-Baroness,” she says.  “We’ll make sure to ease all aches and pains.”
As she guides you away and towards a private room you sense people looking at you and notice a couple of higher-ranking women in dressing robes, undoubtedly here for a bit of relaxation themselves.  As soon as you look over at them, they glance away, pretending that they’re looking off into the distance.  You want to stop, walk over, and introduce yourself to them ( they know who you are, though.  Everyone knows that the Na-Baron just married an arranged non-Harkonnen bride from another planet ) but you don’t get the chance.  Instead you tear your gaze away to follow the attendant to another room with what you must assume is a synthetic material that effectively mimics the appearance and grain pattern of wood, complete with a changing station, a table with oils and towels, and in the middle a covered massage table with a servant on either side who bow as soon as you enter.
It’s an interesting experience, to be sure.  The servants attending to you are quiet and gracious, but you’re made starkly aware again of your foreignness.
Your hair confuses them, for one thing.  They look at and touch it as if they’re not sure whether or not they think it’s attractive when you've spent your entire life before Geidi Prime being told that it’s beautiful.  They’re gentle with you, careful when undressing you and guiding you to a massage table.  When kneading oil into your sore muscles they treat you as if you’re delicate, even though they’re smaller than you are.  They work silently, your own muffled moans when they work out a particularly sore spot the only sounds other than the ambient mist coming from the next room.  
You wonder at first if it’s because they only speak Harkonnen and not the Imperial Standard, but as they’re getting finished one of the young women–probably not much older than you, although it’s still difficult to tell without any hair or eyebrows to better indicate her age–timidly asks, “Would the Na-Baroness like to be given stimulation as part of her massage?”
You blink, not sure you heard correctly, and raise yourself up on your elbows.  “Stimulation?” you repeat, brow furrowing.
“Some people enjoy other kinds of massage as a form of relief, Na-Baroness.  We’d be honored to indulge you if you prefer,” she says, looking down the moment you look up.
I’m still lost , you almost tell her before it sinks in.  “Oh!” you say, the single word slipping out.  The woman flinches, undoubtedly worried that she’s offended you.  It’s probably why she hasn’t said a word this entire time; she has no idea how to talk to you, what you would consider appropriate or not, and would rather not speak at all than risk saying the wrong thing.  You gape for a moment before managing, “No thank you.  A-a normal massage is plenty.”
She bows.  “Very well, Na-Baroness.  Is there anything else we can do in service to you?”  
You’d been curious about the other rooms but suddenly you wish for nothing more than to leave.  “No thank you, not today.  The massage was all I needed.”
“It was our pleasure, Na-Baroness.  We are at your disposal,” the woman says, words you’ve already heard multiple times.  “Let us help you redress.” 
They gently wipe off any excess oil with damp washcloths and dry you off before guiding you back into your clothes as if scared they’ll hurt you, or rather, scared that you’ll say something that gets them in trouble.  Even a foreign woman commands fear if she’s married to the right Harkonnen, even if she’s never going to be a true Harkonnen herself and whether they’re scared of you because of who you’re married to or also because of who you are, it makes no difference.
In spite of everything, when you get back to your quarters you realize that physically, you feel great ; better than you have since your wedding.  You feel pliant and loose-limbed, your skin soft and supple.  In theory it should give you all the energy you need to continue your studies of this planet and its language.
But your self-imposed Harkonnen lessons aren’t holding your attention; the grammar structure is fairly simple, and you’ve learned a few basic words and phrases (and obscenities, because you’re pretty sure that that’s most of what Feyd-Rautha grunts in your ear when he’s fucking you) and you can’t help your restlessness as you settle back in your chair.
You tap your fingertips against your desk, mind wandering to your husband, your body remembering with a throb how he feels inside you.  You’re getting used to it more and more, for the most part even learning to enjoy it.  
He might be coming back from his second training session soon.  Maybe he’s already come back and is taking his second shower or bath of the day.  Maybe you’ll ask him about his armoire, which he hasn’t opened for you since that first night, but, and you pause, thinking it over, picturing him sweaty from his training, and think, no.   The armoire can wait.  If you want to improve your seduction game, you can start by being the one to initiate your encounters.  You can start now.
You strip again, wondering how he’ll react to you entering his chambers.  Hopefully amenable to it; he probably won’t dismiss you if you come to him like this.  If nothing else he has an incentive to put a baby in you, you think as you wrap yourself up in one of your robes and pad over to your bathroom.
You press your ear to the door joining your bathroom to his.  The water’s running: he must be showering.  You wait, heart pounding, thinking, It will be fine.  Think about this morning; he seemed reasonably happy with you this morning.
You shut your eyes for a moment, take a breath, and open the door.
He’s standing in the middle of his shower, his eyes on you from the moment you step inside.  He turns the water off and watches you silently, eyes falling to your robe.  He must be fully aware of the fact that you’re wearing nothing underneath.
“Sorry to interrupt, husband,” you say, hoping that your intuition is correct.  “I was just…” bored? Interested in your company? Curious about how else you decompress after training? You swallow, fiddling with the sash of your robe.
Feyd says nothing at first as he steps out of the shower and onto the soft mat on the black granite floor.  Any words you have die before they can reach your lips as he steps in closer and the height difference between you feels vaster than it’s felt before.
His eyes flicker to your robe.  “Take that off,” he says.
You look him in the eye, raising your chin slightly as you unfasten the sash around your waist and brush the robe off your shoulders and onto the floor, presenting yourself for him as naked as the day you were born.  The two of you stand in silence for a moment; he’s dripping wet and you’re, well…you bite your lip and hesitate before reaching out, wrist turning as you wrap a hand around him.  You feel awkward in the ensuing silence, brushing your thumb over the tip of him and glancing between his face and his cock, breath catching in your throat as you see the way his gaze darkens.  You open your mouth to speak but find yourself at a loss for words.
It doesn’t occur to you that he might prefer this to any polished seduction or that he likes your nerves, your earnestness.  That you've come to him as if yesterday never happened and like he's a whole intact man with no buried shame.  He stiffens rapidly under your touch, silently daring you to keep fondling him.  You wonder if it would be worth it to sink to your knees and take him into your mouth–you’ve done it once before as a preamble to the act itself and remember every detail and lesson of it vividly–when Feyd-Rautha starts walking you backwards, backwards, until you reach his bathroom wall and you drop your hand in surprise.
“I…” you start and he silences you with a kiss, gripping the back of your head and tilting your head up to meet him.  Once he has you where he wants you, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, his hands slide down your sides, over your hips and ass, coming to the backs of your legs, nudging you forward.
“C’mon,” he says, his rasp quiet but commanding in the echoes of his bathroom.  You can’t help your nervous laugh as you hop up and he catches you, hands under your thighs that he quickly wraps around his hips, holding you in place as his cock brushes against your folds, your lower belly.  It’s filled out and ready and you bite your lip as you think: how to maneuver…?  
You glance back up at him and his expectant gaze.  Come on, pet, he seems to tell you.  You’re a clever little thing, you can figure it out, and so you grip his cock again and position it at your entrance, almost laughing at how two weeks ago you’d have been hard-pressed to know exactly where it is and how to properly penetrate it.
You gasp, head falling forward as you sink down onto him and cry out as he jerks his hips up, filling you the rest of the way.  It’s always such a deep ache and stretch when he buries himself in you and you’re never quite given enough time to adjust to the size of him before he starts moving and it feels like he’s so deep in you that can hardly breathe.  Every time he picks a new angle to fuck you in it almost shocks you how he seems to find another way to make as though there’s no part of your insides that he hasn’t touched, and you hold onto him, trying to rock back down on him, and finding you can only really cling to him.  He buries his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of your hair and the tonic you use for it, before pausing, shifting you further onto him, and moving away from the wall.  You yelp, tightening your thighs around his waist and wondering what he’ll do next, where he’ll take you.   
He carries you, then, out of the bathroom and to his bed where he drops you unceremoniously on your back and following you as you go.  You both grunt as he lands on top of you and pushes your legs further back towards your chest and he braces his arms on either side of your head.
It’s hard and rough and fast, your knees pushed back nearly to your shoulders that he spreads wide to make room for his own.  Your cries as he pounds into your open, vulnerable body spur him on and he drops his forehead to yours, panting against your mouth.  He speaks in the Imperial Standard this time when he says, “Like a little songbird, making pretty noises for me,” and brings his mouth to the juncture of your neck and jaw.
You let out a whine as he continues, his tongue flickering and then lapping at the sensitive skin like he’s done before to your cunt.  You gasp and readjust your grip on his shoulders, almost stunned at the visceral reactions he can pull from just that.  You’d known it was a sensitive area, had been kissed there before, but especially juxtaposed against the pounding of him inside of you it’s–it’s–
“A -aaah! ” you manage, clenching around him, barely holding on, your legs shaking as he speeds up, his mouth continuing the onslaught.  The whimpers that spill out of you escalate and turn to a sharp cry as he bares his teeth and bites down.
He grunts, hips pumping, as he comes inside of you, his teeth and lips on the sensitive skin of your neck and your arms wrapped around him.  He gives one final thrust for good measure before dropping his head to your neck, his breath harsh.  You hold onto him for a moment as he pauses and pulls out.
Will you let me hold you again?  I liked that.  I liked when you rested on me and I got to pet you as if you could ever be made docile .  You don’t ask, and don’t know how to.  He rolls over onto his back.
“I trust that training went well, husband?” you ask instead after you catch your breath and start to come down.
He grunts an affirmative and for a moment you think that’s the end of it.  He takes a breath, though, mulling over the silence between the two of you.  You wait, sensing his realization that you’d like to hear more.  That the two of you can have a normal conversation like a normal married couple.  “Sparred with a few of my men, then a couple of criminals in the dungeons.  They don’t provide as much of a challenge but it still keeps me alert to practice on someone who actually wants to kill me.”
“They weren’t sedated?” you ask.
He shakes his head, exhaling.  “Not these ones.  Didn’t want to contaminate their bloodstream,” he says.
You think back to over a week ago, and something Idrisa told you.  “So you could safely feed them to your Darlings afterwards?” you ask.
He turns his head to you and you do the same, mirroring him.  His full lips part as he mulls your words over.  “Now where’d you hear about them?” he asks, clearly trying to think back to a time when he’s mentioned them to you and coming up with nothing.
“Idrisa,” you add when you don’t see any recognition in his eyes at the name, “my personal attendant, mentioned that you had pets that you fed human remains.”
This piques his interest, it seems.  He rises up on one elbow, turning to his side, leaning over you.  “How did she describe them?” he asks.
You shrug, not sure how that makes a difference.  “She didn’t.  She just said that you feed human flesh to what you called your Darlings,” you say, not bothering to hide your distaste.  You’re not going to pretend to like or condone everything he does; not like it would stop him.
Feyd-Rautha’s eyes glint.  He breaks into a smile that is equal parts delighted and cruel.  “Is that really all she told you?” he says.  He doesn’t move a millimeter, but you can sense his growing excitement coiled tight within him like he’s ready to pounce.
“So…what are they?  Canine or feline?  Or aquatic?” you ask, not sure if you want to know or get a more specific image but asking all the same.
Feyd-Rautha looks at you as though you’ve given him the greatest gift he didn’t even have to ask for.  “Would you like to meet them?” he asks instead of answering your question.
No, of course not , you want to tell him.  I have no interest in meeting a bunch of animals who devour people whole .  “Sure.  Why not,” you say.
His black teeth and gums are unnerving against the pallor of the rest of him before his smile turns closed-mouthed again into a smirk.  
When you’ve both dressed and left his chambers, you assume that he’s going to lead you to a dungeon, but he instead starts walking down a corridor not far from the private wing.
“I’d keep them closer,” he says over his shoulder, “but they make such a mess.”
So a pool or a moat would be out of the question, but a shark tank is still feasible , you think.  
He reaches a door, and the first moment you step inside and see what’s on the padded platform in front of you, you want to roll your eyes and walk back out.
So he’s taken me on a detour first to meet his concubines , you think.  
Three naked, lithe, bald-headed women lie curled up sleeping, nestled against one another like a pile of kittens.  You raise your eyebrows, letting out an irritated huff.  You should’ve known that he keeps concubines; most leaders from Major Houses do.  It’s just that he’d seemed so preoccupied with you that you’d almost forgotten that very possibility.  These are the women he normally slakes his lust with and what he’ll go back to once you’ve confirmed that you’re carrying his seed.  You have a snide remark on the tip of your tongue about how nice it is to meet the other women he fucks.  
But then you notice that there’s blood drying on their hands, caking their sharp-nailed fingertips and you realize what the smell of the iron tang that permeated the air really is. Dread settles in the pit of your stomach.
“What’s going on?” you say aloud to no answer.
The women stir, and then they open their eyes.  They have neither pupils nor irises.  Pure ink black, stares, unthinking, back at you.
When you first met him you’d been quick to assume that Feyd-Rautha lacked all humanity beyond his physical form, but this is what it truly looks like when a person has no human essence.  You’re not sure what they’re seeing when they look at you but they perceive nothing except the sight of warm meat.
Abomination!  Abomination! you think, too frozen to scream it out loud, the sound of it only coming out of you in a pitiful squeak when they start to move, clambering towards you.
Oh, Great Mother, they move like animals, on all fours .  One of them opens her mouth, teeth and gums as black as her master’s but her teeth are sharpened into fangs she bares in what may be a smile, may be a snarl. 
Oh, fuck this.   
You turn and start to run when Feyd-Rautha holds his arm out to grab you around the chest and pull you to his side as he says something in Harkonnen that you try to grasp.
Something-something woman something-something food.  Okay, that was a negation.  He’s saying something like “she’s not food.”  You gasp and dig your nails into his forearm, unable to look away from them, the way they tilt their heads at you.
You can hear them hiss and chatter, put out that he hasn’t presented them with a meal, and you realize that they’re speaking in neither the Imperial Standard nor Harkonnen battle-language but a vague imitation of human speech.
“What the fuck?  What the fuck? ” you say aloud, struggling in Feyd-Rautha’s grip, watching as they scurry closer to the two of you, sniffing at you in particular.
You stare at the fathomless depths of their unblinking black eyes and how they tilt their heads, even their curiosity utterly fucking terrifying.
“You said you wanted to meet my Darlings,” Feyd-Rautha says in a satisfied tone.  “Don’t be rude.  They like you.” He says something in Harkonnen to the women that you can’t decipher, and their chattering ceases and demurs into near-purring.
One of them sniffs and nuzzles at your stomach and you flinch, wondering how quick she’d be to open her mouth and take a bite of your sensitive skin if her master allowed it.  Your stomach that within a few months will swell with Feyd-Rautha’s heir.  Does she understand what any of that means?  Do any of them?
How naive you were, thinking that he kept animals as his pets, normal women as his concubines.  How silly and childish to think that he wouldn’t be as much of a degenerate as you feared.  
Just when I think I’ve adjusted to this insane planet I see something even worse.    
Feyd-Rautha closes the door and directs his gaze up and down the length of your body, the tremors in your hands, your entire body shaking, in fact, and settles on your face.  He says nothing, waits for you to go first.
“What…” you bring a hand to your forehead, hoping that this is a nightmare, “ are they?”
He doesn’t smirk but you can sense his satisfaction.  He undoubtedly gets some entertainment out of each time he gets to introduce someone new to his Darlings, or rather, inflict his Darlings on them.  He probably doesn’t get the opportunity as often as he’d like.  “They’re a Bene Tleilax experiment,” he says.  “They thought we might enjoy them.”
“Why would they…” commit a crime against nature like this?  
“Because they can,” he says.  
“Then why have them?” you ask.
He looks at you as if you’re the unreasonable one.  “They already exist, and I’ve found some use for them.”
As his concubines .  “So you…” you feel nauseous at the idea, barely able to say it aloud, “...fuck them?”
Your shoulders sag with relief when you he says, “No, I don’t fuck them, Y/N.  They’re nice to look at but it would be akin to fucking a wild animal.  They can be entertaining, though.  And they’re a decent tool for intimidation.”
Entertaining .  You could use hundreds of words to describe what you just saw and the wretched nature of their existence and entertaining would not be one of them.
Still, you realize what he means.  His menagerie needs to eat to stay alive, and it provides incentive to stay on the Na-Baron’s good side.  No one wants to end up as food.  And how many men can honestly say, “ If you don’t do as I say I’m going to feed you to the trio of feral cannibal women I keep in my Fortress” ?  It’s a far more unique and memorable threat than any you’ve heard.
So they’re not his concubines; you don’t believe for one moment that he’d care enough to lie to you about that, which just makes you wonder where his real concubines are.  “Who were you fucking before I was assigned to you?  I wasn’t your first.”  
Feyd-Rautha’s lips quirk up for a moment in a brief almost-smile.  “There are times when people see me in the arena and want to know if I’m as much of a brute as I seem,” he says.  
“Are you?  With them?”  You haven’t forgotten that he’s expected to be better-behaved with you than he probably would be with someone else.  Someone potentially disposable.
His expression is carefully neutral as he seems to think on how much he wants to frighten you some more or how much he’ll let your own imagination do the work.  “I give them what they’re looking for,” he says after a moment.
You glance back over at the door.  How many people whisper about his trio of naked women the way they keep their head down about the Baron?  Does that not bother him, how people who know about this undoubtedly think, If he’s willing to stick his cock into them , what else is he capable of?
“You do know that calling them your Darlings, having them naked like this–it makes it seem like you have sex with them,” you tell him.
Feyd-Rautha looks unsurprised and unmoved.  “They can be sedated into being dressed sometimes.  It’s just too cumbersome to try and change them every day,” he says.  “Besides, people can think what they want,” he says.  “I don’t care, just as long as they fear my name.”
Very Harkonnen of you , you think.  “What are their names?” you ask instead.
He seems amused by the question.  “Didn’t bother.  They don’t need them,” he says.
You look back at the door.  They can’t always have been like this, could they?  “Did they not have names once?  Before…this?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says.  “They won’t remember.”
You can’t help but stare at him when he says that.  These were people once , you don’t need to tell him because he doesn’t care.  You don’t know what to say to him; the words dry up in your throat.  Here you were trying to bring out the human side to him when you get a stark reminder that for many people that side of him doesn’t exist.  You try to remember how the Reverend Mother assured you that he has weaknesses that you can use, just like any other man.  How he has his own, albeit twisted, moral code and sense of honor.
Count yourself lucky that it extends to you, you think.
You don’t like yourself very much when you think about it, the palpable fear he instills in everyone he thinks he can readily discard, and the fact that you’ve already decided that you’ll do your best to overlook it, for now anyways.  You have yourself and your future child to look after first.
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zkoh001 · 3 months
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I was drawing this. For 72 full hours (spread out trough like-3 months)
It doesn't look like I put 72 hours into this... (I swear my confidence went like a drunk rollecoaster while making this piece)
But alas, it is done, and I worked too hard not to share it. Behold the elemental alliance. (I can't draw armor. So the design changes are mostly because of that)
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I totally got the Masters of Sound and Gravity the first few times, which is quite hilarious cause the Master of Gravity spends quite some of his screentime flying, but oh well.
Also, I tought they were related (for no particular reason) hence the positioning on the picture.
The guy on the left side of the picture was literally listed as "unknown elemental master" and I literally only added him so the proportions were more balanced (also so noone could argue it isn't finished)
I feel like his power was supposed to be lightning (based on the outfit) but then season 6 happened, and he was quietly retconned to make way for libber. I hesitated making it a father daughter situation, with him passing his powers on faster than Cole's grandfather to Lilly, but in the end, settled for making him a Master of Light.
Lilly and her father joined together, but neither of them are sure why it took so long for the power to pass down (probably after or at the very end of the First Serpentine War). They were both the type to understand it's war, and those rarely have a happy ending (in general, these people were kinda forced into this role because of their powers, some of them pretty young) Maybe the late heritance caused issues with Lilly's immune system leading to an early death? 👀🥺
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I like to think the old Master of Earth was a mother hen of sons just as Lilly (it's genetic a this point). The above picture happened sometime after Garmadon's banishment.
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Libber (or whatever they call the previous Master of Lightning) turned out really cute, I'm probably most satisfied with her (also gave her freckles to match Jay). I feel like we massively missed out on having her be the one to make/power Prime Empire. I mean, I get they wanted to save the mom storyline for MotM, but I'm sure you can write two separate stories revolving around parents. I also believe she joined really young, probably the youngest (and she was a menace. Also imagine if she was friends with the twins, the tragedy)
Wu and Garmadon pretty much have their canon designs (I like that they are dressed the most "traditional" out of everyone) except I added a bit more purple and gold respectively. Also, I'll mention it here, every active elemental masters have eye colours matching their elements, and their pupils are light (giving way to theories about them not even being human). The spinjitzu bros have "rings" around their pupils in the opposite color (purple for Wu, gold for Garmadon) showing the link between them and their powers.
When Garmadon is banished, Wu's eyes become completely gold, affected by their severed connection (and Garm has red eyes, but normally his would have become purple as well) Also, I kinda traced the text on their gi, cause I'm not drawing that from memory 😅
Master of Shadow was one of the first to join the Alliance, but is not the youngest member, she wanted a peaceful solution at the start, and like most of the earlier members, have a more nuanced view on the war, probably even had serpentine acquitances, which is why she looks so sad a lot of the time.
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I see Ray and Maya as a kinda golden retriever, black cat dynamic. Maya was incredibly skilled, cold and precise, and one of the deadliest elemental masters (I was cooking up some story about a warrior clan she grew up in, but it's up for interpretation).
Ray meanwhile lives by the principle of "They can't know my next step... if I don't know my next step." Runs in, swords blazing, most people fighting him are just sort of. Perplexed at first.
And of course Maya didn't like him at first, but it's really hard to dislike Ray long term. (Which is how he also became Wu's best friend, despite him trying to hold a 'polite acquitances' type of relationship with the Ems. Ray is just like that) But she fell first.
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Either this happened, or he went ahead of the trouble and asked him first.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand (working a lot on this means I had a lot of time to microwave these dudes, this post is looong)
Master of Ice is just that one kind of slightly creepy wise old man, who just... knows stuff. Everyone just sort of accepted that you don't ask him how or why he knows stuff, he just does. Wu and Garmadon have a tendency to follow him around (cause he's pretty similar to their father in a way), which kinda translates to everyone following him around like little ducks (even when he barely socialises with anyone lol).
Design for Master of Ice is inspired by @maydayissleepy, go check out their art!
And I already made a bunch of posts about Hands of Time and the time twins, but design wise, I just made a new one (to avoid the complex armor). When in battle, it's basically impossible to tell the two of them apart. Also, they have heterochromia because they both have two powers technically. The murky brown we see in the show is because they lost the power, but are still technically the Masters of Time, since it never passed on (if the blades broke somehow it would go back to them)
I feel like they joined later (even way later, which is why they clashed so much with the alliance) which is why they aren't mentioned in the early flashbacks (and also cause they didn't exist yet), and went kinda gungho on the war, not really knowing (or caring) for it's nuances.
Anyways, let me know what you think!
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kteezy997 · 3 months
Text
The Lady in Waiting-Part Two//King Hal
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“Join you for tea?” you asked. You didn’t understand, you were part of the staff. The King was used to hosting other royalty. This was completely against traditional custom.
“Yes, please. I would be delighted to have your company.” he said.
You took a moment to register the situation that had arisen. Ultimately, you would not dare refuse the King, nor did you want to. “Of course, your Majesty.”
Henry smiled, his eyes tired but still pleasantly kind. “Right this way.”
This felt entirely backward. But you followed him to the drawing room. There was fresh tea set out for him. You realized that this was most likely an every night routine for him.
“Now, since you work so closely with my fiancé, you’re practically family. I’d like to think that you and I could become great friends.” Henry picked up the tea pot, pouring the steaming amber liquid into two cups. “And as such, I’d love for you to call me ‘Hal.’ All of those who are dearest to me do so.”
You blushed, hoping he would not notice as he handed one of the teacups to you. “Thank you, my lord. If you insist, then I shall call you Hal.”
He gave you another friendly grin, “Please, let us sit down.” he motioned for you to sit down and he did the same.
You felt strange, not because of Hal, but you could not recall if you had ever ‘had tea’ or any personal visit with anyone before. This was uncharted territory for you.
“So, tell me, how did you come to work for the Princess?” Hal asked, taking a sip of his tea.
"Oh, Hal, I would hate to bore you. I am certain you'd not find anything I have to say very interesting. You are the King, you speak with so many interesting people. I would be nothing in comparison, I am sure."
Hal shrugged. "Well, I am interested. Do you think that because you are a servant, your life has less meaning than others? Sure, am the King, but I am no more special or interesting than you are, y/n. Now please, tell me about yourself." he insisted.
You took a breath. You did not really know what to say. No one had ever asked you about yourself before, not even Lady Sophia. "My mother was a housekeeper for the family of the Princess' cousin. She got me this job years ago when Lady Sophia and I were both teenagers."
He nodded, "Were you able to get any schooling?"
"I was, but I had to quit school to work for the Princess full-time."
"Do you ever refer to her as just Sophia?"
You shook your head, "No, Your Majesty. The Princess can be dear, but it has always been clear that I work for her, and we are not friends."
Hal's face softened a bit as he gave a slight nod and looked down. "Hm, what does the Princess like to do? What does she do to fill her days?"
"Well, she likes to cross-stitch. She likes to have guests over for tea." you said, simply.
He nodded, tilting his head little bit to the side, "And you, Miss y/n?"
You blushed, not quite knowing how to interpret the way he was currently looking at you. "What about me, Hal?" you asked.
"What do you like to do? Outside of taking care of Sophia, of course." the corners of his lips turned slightly upward.
You hesitated, as this did not come naturally to you. But there was something about Hal that made you feel safe and secure. He had taken his relaxation time to get to know you, and you thought that had to mean something. "I love to read, to go for walks, and ride horses, if I am able." you smiled, thinking of the little things that brought joy to your life. You found yourself lost in thought as you watched the way Hal's lips gently latched onto the rim of his teacup as he took a drink.
"Does Sophia like to ride?" he inquired.
"Oh, no." you shook your head, looking idly down at your cup in your hands. "No, she prefers to stay inside whenever possible. She was gifted a horse from her parents when she was young, heaven knows why." you laughed. "The Princess does not like to get dirty, or be in the sun for too long, or to go out in the cold. And she absolutely despises bugs." you spoke plainly. You did not dislike Lady Sophia, but you truly had nothing in common with her.
"Well," he began, leaning back to relax in his chair, "perhaps one day soon, I'll take you out riding. It is beautiful scenery here, you will see."
You smiled, feeling grateful for his thinking of you, "That is too kind of you, Your Majesty. But I do not wish to distract you from your royal engagements. I am certain you already have enough to occupy your time."
He waved his hand, "Nonsense. I could use a little distraction." He looked into your eyes, let out a soft breath. There was a calmness between you, a high level of comfort that you did not know could be achieved.
You had never felt so at peace, but also so nervous at the same time. For a moment, you did not feel as if you were in the presence of a King, but just sitting and having tea with a man named Hal. A smart, kind, thoughtful, and not to mention handsome man.
"I like you, y/n, I hope that we will be friends for a long time indeed."
You felt warmth in your cheeks and fluttering in your chest, what on earth was this feeling? "I hope so too." you agreed.
"You mentioned that you like a good book?" he questioned, standing up and approaching you.
You looked up at him, surprised he had gotten so close. You nodded, thinking that perhaps you should back away from him. This could be perceived as a scandalous position.
"Come with me." he instructed, taking your hand.
You stood up with him, feeling as though you were in a dream. A man was touching you. Lady Sophia would be enraged if she knew her fiancé was holding the hand of another woman. And her own lady in waiting, no less!
Hal led you by the hand to the next room. Once he lit a candle, shelves and shelves of books were illuminated.
He released your hand, allowing you to roam around the room. You were stunned. You had never seen so many books in one place before. Not even in the library back home.
"Oh, this is absolutely magnificent! I cannot believe you own this many books." you marveled.
"You are welcome in here anytime you wish. Take whatever book you would like."
"Thank you. I am in heaven, truly." you admitted, smiling at Hal.
He smiled back at you, adding, "This room overlooks the garden." He walked over to the windows, "It allows for a lovely view as you take a break from reading."
You were only a couple of paces apart from him. "This is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me."
"Oh, it is nothing, y/n. I'll be glad that these books may no longer spend their lives collecting dust." he turned to you.
Just then, you noticed how dark the night sky was behind him. "Oh, it is getting rather late, my lord. I must be getting to bed."
"Mm-hm." he nodded, his gaze lowering. "As should I."
Seconds of silence passed. You felt a strange gravitational pull on your body. Something was pushing you toward him. It was like it was not even your own doing. You stepped closer.
"Y/n." Hal said, his voice just at a whisper. His green eyes had gone from your eyes to your lips, then back up to your eyes again.
You felt a lump in your throat. You blinked and then he put his arms around you in a quick motion. He leaned in close to your face, letting his nose touch yours. You gasped. “Hal.” you said softly, feeling weak.
“Tell me to stop, and I will stop.” he said, his voice taking on a husky tone.
You could not speak. You let him brush his lips on yours. “Please. Kiss me.” you said, your breath on his lips. You felt a need that you had never experienced in your life.
Hal needed nothing else from you, he captured your lips. His mouth was soft as he pressed his lips to yours.
You kissed him back. You could not believe you were kissing the King. The King! Oh, Lady Sophia. You pulled away from Hal. “No! We cannot do this. This is wrong.” you were careful to keep your voice down.
“You are right. I am so sorry. It was my fault.” Hal pleaded, scrambling for his words.
“Let us just forget this and go to bed. Yes, I think we should do that.” you said, out of breath.
“Yes, yes, that is a good idea.” he nodded. “I will see you tomorrow?” he searched your eyes.
You knew that he was strongly hoping that you weren’t angry at him, that things were not ruined.
“Yes. Tomorrow, my lord.” you promised.
@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive
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vashtijoy · 1 year
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what is the link between Akechi and the story of Robin Hood?
*pulls on my green British person hat and grabs a bow*
I'm not a huge expert on Persona links but they do tend to be a bit tenuous; Akechi's Robin Hood is no more like the legendary Robin Hood than Loki is like Loki or Arsene is like Lupin. That said:
Robin Hood is a thief, of course. Chalk that one up in the "Akechi is a Phantom Thief" column;
Robin Hood is a master of disguise, like both Akechi's other personas;
Robin Hood is often depicted as being of noble birth and having been unjustly dispossessed—Akechi's "prince" regalia is often interpreted that way, as a claim on a denied birthright;
Wikipedia defines "a Robin Hood" as "a heroic outlaw or a rebel against tyranny", which, well;
He's most known for having robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and I don't quite get that one. Akechi himself could be "the poor", but "robbed from the rich to give to himself" lacks a certain cachet.
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The most notable thing about Robin Hood, to me, is that Superman motif that contrasts with Hereward's Batman motif, with Loki in the middle as the second awakening—hero to villain to antihero. Because, even if he awakened to both Robin and Loki at the same time, it's like Protect and Endure—there must still have been an order.
We see it during his third awakening to Hereward—the historical figure Robin Hood was allegedly based on. Hereward resembles Robin Hood, and Robin is on the left—which makes him the first awakening. Even if it maybe didn't work the same as the others we saw.
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But yeah, one argument in favour of Akechi awakening to both Robin Hood and Loki at the same time is that Akechi did not randomly awaken. Like Joker, Akechi was awakened—to serve a purpose, to be Yaldabaoth's agent spreading fear among the masses.
That makes it very hard for me to picture Akechi starting out as a good guy, as the hero he dreamed of being. Akechi was chosen for his role because he was already full of hate—because he was the sort who, given power, would inevitably twist it to a bad end that he was already fixated on. Akechi is already the kid with the perfect outward image who's twisted and broken on the inside; he essentially tells us in the engine room that he lived his whole life that way. I have a feeling he was already becoming like that when his mother was alive.
The thing is, there's no reason that kid can't still believe in justice; of course he does. He believes in it the way people who've been hurt by religion often still believe in God. He believes in it as something that should exist, but doesn't; as an ideal, with the hate that's the flip side of love and belief. There are no heroes. Nobody will save him. Friends and family aren't real; love and trust are lies people tell themselves, tricks used to manipulate you. The system isn't on his side; no matter what he does, the world just finds new ways to hurt him, and what can he do about it?
And that guy he can't stop thinking about, who symbolises all of this injustice, whose shadow Akechi has lived in for so long? As well wish for the moon as hope to get back at him.
Except, one day, he finds the app on his phone. He goes from being bitter and powerless to having power, to having choices, to being able to hurt others like he's been hurt. But that part of him that aspired to justice, to being a hero, never really goes away. He does his utmost to give his life for it.
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piosplayhouse · 7 months
Text
Binghe's cutie mark in MLP aus is an interesting thing to contemplate because it feels obvious to just give him the demon mark, but there's quite a bit of debate regarding what exactly the cutie mark is supposed to represent and why/when ponies earn it. I'm personally inclined to the interpretation that cutie marks are earned not when a pony discovers their talent, but instead when they discover who they are (the example that rlly hits this for me is how Rarity, despite having diamonds as her mark, earns her mark not when she finds gemstones, but instead after she uses those stones to design costumes for her school play, an act which shows her creativity and generosity). So there's a few routes you can take with Binghe depending on what you want to emphasize:
A. He earns his mark with his adoptive mother and enters qjp with it. This could work as he is his truest self with her-- filial and innocent, but I personally feel him entering qjp as a blank flank would make more sense as it further emphasizes his vulnerability to bullying and ostracization from the other disciples
B. He earns his mark on Qing Jing Peak. I assume most disciples earn their marks at this point, and binghe could very well follow that pattern. I think this is much more likely for bingmei for obvious reasons, but if bingmei develops a cutie mark before bingge was supposed to that might tip sqq off that he really fucked the story up earlier than someone might want for world building reasons.
C. He earns his mark at the Abyss OR his mark changes at the Abyss. This is the most angsty for obvious reasons, on both a meta narrative level and on a character development level as this would suggest to Binghe that his "true self" is being a dangerous heavenly demon and that he can never return to being an innocent disciple. Of course, we could also get into the weeds here with if the heavenly demon equivalent to ponies are creatures with no cutie marks and therefore him being a hybrid means that he has unusual cutie mark expression under the influence of heavy demonic energy. If bingge made it this long as a blank flank I expect him earning the demon mark would be the natural outcome at this point in the story, or even within the abyss. Alternatively:
D. Bingge was intended to be markless for the entirety of PIDW. This slots in as an equivalent to the "bingge was never supposed to find true love" element of his character, going further to hit on the implication that the original Binghe is a deeply hollow person who doesn't truly know who he is despite appearances (I imagine he would keep his flank covered, or even use magic to disguise it as a demon mark cutie mark). Obviously this would not happen to bingmei which brings us to the alternative for him:
D.2. Bingmei earns his cutie mark sometime during the falling arc/postcanon after getting together with sqq. This makes sense in that this is really when Bingmei is fully free to be his true self with no inhibitions, but it could be argued that he had his life figured out as a teenager (see B) and got lost along the way, which wouldn't have much of an impact on his mark as we see various canon villains go through redemption arcs where their marks don't change. Of course, though, this would open the way for his mark to be something much more romantic, like a lotus blooming on a fan or something. So this could be a cute route that would provide a nice, if a bit less dramatic, end to his journey.
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petew21-blog · 4 months
Text
Hater No. 1
There were actually 2 stories in my inbow about Chris Pratt. Both did fit my interpretation so I combined your ideas. Hope you like it
Oh, I’ve had this idea in my head for a while. Would you do a story where Chris Pratt’s Ex-Father in-law swaps bodies with him?
Can you please do a swap between an elderly man and Chris Pratt?
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This is the prick that broke my little girl's heart. I don't care if she says that he became a better person and tried to make things right. He hurt her and I am going to make it right.
This is my ex son-in-law. He divorced my daughter Anna. This is us together
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Anna was left as a single mother and what happened to Chris? He got so many roles in those Marvel movies and is practically swimming in cash. Money he won't even send to his son.
But no. I am going to make this right
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Well son, maybe I can say one good thing about you. You prepared a fantastic body for me to take. Hope you like my old body. Maybe you can get close back to Anna. Maybe then we can discuss the terms of swapping back.
But the more I look and flex I think even that won't be happening. But I sent some money to Anna, for your child.
Sorry, gotta go now. I got some to take care of this thing. It feels like it has a mind of its own. Maybe I'll come by some day to visit you and see how you're doing.
But now I really need to know how much cum I'll be able to shoot in your shower. I must apologize, but you know how it is with age, lot of things don't work the way they should. Which reminded me to tell you that you should think over the adult diapers. Might come in hand in a few year. Byeee
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eatmeandbirthmeagain · 4 months
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hello! a little fic request I’ve been thinking on, not pressuring you to write it or anything, just wanted to share.
the y/n is a hot tempered foreign princess who got married to Baldwin when they were both children. she’s very energetic, straightforward, man-like in her character, but has to adapt to fit in the court of Jerusalem and also to „suit” her husband’s calm manner and the fact that he’s ill doesn’t help.
she’s unhappy about it; maybe even tears a little during the wedding, but doesn’t let anyone to think she may be vulnerable (mostly because she understand that that can be used against her in the future after Baldwin dies). but over the time she finds herself drawn to Baldwin because, well, unlike her teachers, he lets her study and play chess with him. he cares about her desires and interests. he also respects her, not just like a woman but as a friend, and a clever one. maybe some of her advice on the politics is used by him at some point (which would be absolutely unrealistic, but really, we’re talking historical romance with a leper king here…). a cute detail would be him gifting her a weapon of some sort to protect herself because he knows how she doesn’t like being treated like she’s helpless. bonus points if he says something romantic and or pathos’y about it.
did I write this whole oc story as a multiple chapter fanfiction in my head? yes, I did. am I going to finish it? absolutely no. but I’d love to read your interpretation!
♧ "Princess" - King Baldwin x Reader ♧
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♧ Angst ♧
A/N: Hello Anon! So sorry for taking so long to write this, ive had so many requests. I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind but it was my interpretation and I hope you like it! I dont really like how it turned out as your request had so much detail and my writing does that no justice, but I hope its okay ☺️! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figgures. This is also set pre-film. Enjoy!
TW: Leprosy
At thirteen years old, marriage was the last thing on young y/n’s mind. But yet, here she was. Soon to arrive in the city of Jerusalem, to be wed to a boy she had only ever met a handful of times.
Baldwin the fourth. The leper, who's mother just so happend to be ready to find him a wife at the same time her father was ready to find her a husband.
She sat in silence for the entire journey, this was uncommon for her. She usually always had something interesting to say or something to observe with curiosity. But as per request by her father, from now on she “had to act like a proper lady. No more of this ridiculous 'masculine' behavior”.
“You will be wed to a king y/n” he had told her. “You must stop acting the way you do. No king will be allowed such behavior from his wife”. 
Her attempt to keep to herself for the journey had been successful so far. She remained silent and still. Just as her mother taught her. “Just how a lady should be”. 
As the city came into view, y/n felt tears begin to burn her eyes. She would never again be allowed to explore the wilderness on her fathers land, or read every book she was allowed to have from the library. She surrendered herself to a life of boredom and suppression. 
Once exiting the carriage, she was greeted by the royal officials as well as the king's mother.
“I am so pleased to finally meet you young lady" she greeted her with a smile "you shall make a fine wife for my son” . Y/n thanked her and was ushered off quickly to prepare her for the hour of the wedding.
Y/n held back tears as servants worked busily around the room. Dressing her in beautiful garments, jewelry, and makeup. She was distraught. But she dare not cry. They could not see her so weak.
----------------------
The events proceeded and y/n barely even looked at the boy she was marrying. She could not bring herself to make eye contact with the man who would rule her life forever.
They told her to smile. “No man wants to see a lady disappointed on her wedding day” the king's mother had told her before they entered the church.
Baldwin himself was nervous about this day but just enthusiastic. Unlike y/n, he was looking forward to being wed to a young woman. He did not want just a wife to serve him, but a companion too. Someone who he could speak to about all kinds of things. Someone who would love him as much as he loved them. When he saw her, she looked beautiful, but sad. Very sad.
He hoped she was not sad about marrying him. Perhaps his illness deterred her from wanting to even be near him.
But she was still beautiful. She was 14, just like him. He could not take his eyes off her. He had met her a few times before, and she interested him deeply, even though they barely spoke. He more so just watched her play and talk with the other young people from his bedroom chamber window, longing to join them if it was not for his illness.
She played more with the young boys than she did with the girls. Always full of energy and life, always talking and laughing. But now, she looked different. As if the light had been drained from her. 
--------------------
When the wedding was over, the young king and queen got acquainted in the boy's chambers. She still seemed very quiet and unsure about his presence.
“Are you alright?” He asked her the second they were alone. “Yes your highness” she replied in a small voice, very different to the excitable tone she used to have. She sighed and lowered herself onto the small couch, turning away from him to look at her hands.
Baldwin thought for a moment, but then remembered that his mother requested he chose a wedding gift to present her after the affairs.
“I have a gift for you,” he said happily, lightening the mood.
He noticed her eyes light up a little at the comment. “You do?”
“Yes, would you like to see it?”
Y/n nodded excitedly, a smile forming on her face for the first time all day. The boy stood and disappeared behind the red, satin curtains that covered the large windows. He returned a few seconds later with something behind his back and a wide smile.
"I had to hide it, so my mother did not see what I chose for you" he explained. This peeked y/n's intrest greatly.
“Alright, close your eyes, '' he told her, the smile still plastered to his face. Y/n shut her eyes with anticipation. When he told her to open her eyes, she was lost for words. In the young king's bandaged hands, he held a shining silver sword with a pale pink ribbon tied around the handle.
Her eyes widened and stared at the sword for a long time before taking it in her hands to admire it. “Do you like it?” he asked, cautiously, hoping he had not offended her.
“Baldwin.. I love it!!” she exclaimed with a grin, jumping to her feet and wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. The smile returned to his face and he put his arms around her waist.
“Now you can defend yourself my love. No wife of mine will be left vulnerable, even if there are men to protect her. She will defend herself, because she is strong.” His words filled the queen with happiness and hope. Perhaps her father was wrong after all and she could remain as herself. At least in the presence of her husband. 
-------------------
From that day on, they were inseparable. Unlike y/n’s tutors and parents, he allowed her access to his entire private library so they could study and read together. He allowed her time to herself, so she could do the things she loved without anybody telling her how to behave.
He quite often went as far as to seek her out for advice on political issues, not allowing her straightforward intelligence to go to waste.
Overtime, y/n became used to her duties as queen, but as much as she learnt to fit the role, she treasured her time alone with Baldwin. He cared about her interests, her desires. He respected her, more than anyone else ever had. They played chess together as well, each game being a delightful battle of the mind.
He saw her as not just a wife, but as a companion and an intelligent one at that. And for this, she would be forever greatful.
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hottempura · 4 months
Text
Thunder Clap and Flash
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My interpretation of the breathing styles is different from the original. Basically they are real.
You were an anomaly. That’s at least what Jigoro Kuwajima said when he met you on the battle field. You had taken out the demon he was battling after he lost his blade in the forest. The man had only one leg after all, but he had taken up his blade to try and save a young woman. Before he could congratulate you or ask you how you did that, you had dropped the blade and ran away from him back into the village. He spent a whole month trying to find you and begin your training. When he did find you in the rice fields, you almost ran away again.
“Hey, it’s not good manners to make your elders run after you!” He grabbed the back of your shirt and held you in place. You were covered in dirty rain water from the thighs down and your hands were covered as well. Blinking up at him, he grumbled lightly.
“You know how to speak?” You nodded, but glanced down at your feet. Suddenly, another man came over.
“Put that young girl down, so she can get back to work old man.” This young man was significantly cleaner and Kuwajima sighed. It was obvious what was going on here. No matter how shameful it felt, there was an easy way out of this.
“How much?”
“What?”
“How much for the girl?” You blinked up at him in surprise. Maybe this old man had work for you, he didn’t seem like the type to have slaves though.
“100 yen.”
“Deal.” The old man got out a pouch and started counting. You quickly scrambled to make him put the money away. This man seemed kind and he was getting scammed! The younger gentleman laughed loudly at Kuwajima’s confidence.
“You don’t have that kind of money, old man!” Kuwajima sighed and gently held your arms away before he tossed the pouch at him.
“Surprisingly I do.” The man looked shocked and caught the pouch. He immediately opened it to start counting.
“W-what?!” He looked from Kuwajima to you then back at the pouch. Deciding not to question it, he put the pouch in his pocket and gave Kuwajima a thumbs up. “She’s all yours!” He ran up to the house to inform his wife and left you both there.
“I know what you may be thinking, but I’m not a bad guy. That was just the easiest way to go about this. I’m Jigoro Kuwajima, a former demon slayer, and lucky for you I’ve been looking for a worthy replacement.” You blinked at him and tilted your head in question. What’s this old man talking about? He sighed and started to pull you onto the dirt road. “You don’t talk much do you? It took me a month to find you.” He must be the man from the forest. You strained your tongue to move.
“Sorry about thief blade.” You had to pause between each word and looked down at the ground. You weren’t allowed to speak as a slave. Along with being drilled to never speak, you never learned much in the first place. Your mother had sold you to this house to pay off her debts when you were very young.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be training you how to use it. You have a name?” You shook your head and he ruffled your hair. “You can pick one in time, but let’s get to my house. It’s further up the hill to the east.” He pointed towards it and you both set off. While walking, he told you about demon slayers. How he was something called a hashira, a very important and powerful person. He lost his leg in a battle, so he couldn’t really fight anymore and he had left his position before training someone to take over. There were multiple students he taught, but he said ‘None smelled like lightning like you do.’ You had blushed lightly at that and he laughed in response. Once you arrived at his home, your eyes widen at the size and at his insistence for you to come inside.
“Hurry up, you smell so you’re going to bathe!” Now that was something you understood, but you still didn’t want to enter the house in your dirty clothes. He walked inside to start the bath. You took off your shoes and struggled to take a step inside. “For crying out loud!” He came back out, grabbed your collar and lightly guided you inside then to the bathroom. The bathroom was ginormous and the water inside the tub was actually steaming. He shut the door behind him and left you. This water was all for you! There was also a new outfit sitting on the stool. You quickly stripped down and lowered yourself in. Letting out a soft sigh in the process, the only comparable experience you had to this was the lake at the bottom of the hill. In the summertime at night, you would walk down to swim in the lake. This water was much warmer and cleaner! After taking time to bathe and stay in the bath until the water got cooler, you got out to change. Then you emptied the water and brushed your hair back to dry. You grabbed your old clothes and stepped out. The old man was nowhere to be seen or heard so you wandered through the house. There were three rooms, two bedrooms and a study. Closer to the front of the house, there was a small dining room and a kitchen. The door was open to the backyard and Kuwajima was sitting underneath a large tree with his eyes closed. You put the dirty clothes on the grass, then slowly walked over. It was nearing dusk now.
“You were in there for quite a while.” You got on your knees in front of him. His eyes were still closed as he spoke. “You were filthy though, so I understand.” He cracked an eye open to look at you. Now with all that grime off your face and hair, he could tell you were a pretty young girl. Maybe around 12? All the young looked the same the older he got. He could also tell that you were underfed, but had strength from working hard in the fields.
“Thank you.” He smiled at your shy response. You bowed slightly.
“Come on, let’s go eat. I’ll explain more about why you’re here during dinner.” He clapped your shoulder before getting up and heading to the house. You clambered after him as he got closer. “You can either clean your old clothes or throw them out tomorrow.” He said once he saw them. You picked them up and nodded. Once inside you both started to cook dinner together, he told you multiple times you didn’t have to but you just blinked at him. He gave up when you wouldn’t.
Over dinner, he started to explain more about the demon slayers and a breathing form. “You can do great things if you master breathing. Like I said earlier, I was a hashira. Specifically, I was the lighting hashira and I use the lighting breathing form. This is what I’ll be training you to do. When you are ready, you will go to the final selection.” You poured him more tea and gave him a curious glance. “I’ll tell you more about that as it gets closer. All you need to know now is that you will train to kill demons and protect people.” That was something you wanted to do, but could you? Kuwajima believed you could, but you’d only killed that one demon on a fluke.
“Demon in the forest. Didn’t mean to kill but wanted to.”
“I could tell you didn’t know how. You held my sword wrong.” He chuckled.
“Rice workers told me stories. Said evil could be killed by cutting head off.”
“That is correct. The only way to kill a demon is to chop off its head. You have to use a special blade to do this.” He got up and went to the corner of the room. Kuwajima pulled out his old blade and held in up for you to see in the light. “This is a nichirin blade. A special blade forged for the demon slayers to kill demons. It holds in it the power of sunlight. The only thing that can kill demons, but it’s more likely you’ll kill them with the blade. You wielded it that day in the forest.” You stood up and Kuwajima handed you the blade. Guiding you in how to hold it correctly. Once you got it right, he took it back to put away. “Do you know how to read?”
“N-no.”
“I’ll teach you to read and write too.” Your head whipped in his direction. Small tears sprung to your eyes at his kindness. Some of the other rice workers had taught you to speak then to read simple things, but no one had really sat down to teach you.
“Thank you…” You bowed in his direction and he waved you off. Both of you began eating again in silence.
You trained with Kuwajima for six months. Once the new year came, you had mastered all forms of lightning breathing. Even the first form, which he himself couldn’t get. You trained for the up coming final selection, before setting off. In your time there, Kuwajima has also taught you to read and write. Both you picked up fast, but Kuwajima said your handwriting was atrocious. He made you practice everyday to try and make it legible. Upon your departure, Kuwajima told you that if your letter after the final selection didn’t show improvement he would hunt you down.
Everyone at the start of the selection either looked scary or was scared. There was one kid in a fox mask that you couldn’t tell what they felt. The wisteria smell was strong and once you were released into the forest, you barely ran into anyone. The first three days only a couple demons had tested their luck and tried to kill you. Their movements were surprising with how reckless they were. Every demon driven mad by hunger. You had also run across a demon eating another alive so you killed both out of mercy. Part of you wanted to kill the entire forest. On the fourth day, you ran into another injured demon slayer. You helped patch him up and he followed you the rest of your time there.
“I’m Ikari Kajun, but you can just call me Kajun. What’s your name?” You didn’t respond and he limped after you. “Anyways, you saved my life so I owe you one. I do have a snack if you’re interested…” You quickly turned to him and started walking back. He pulled out some dried and salted meats from his bag. You both sat together to eat. “You use Lightning breathing, right? That’s so cool! I use stone. I don’t have the right weapon made for myself yet though. Master said that I had to learn to use a katana first since they were the most common weapon. I wasn’t injured by a demon by the way… I tripped.” You laughed at him and raised an eyebrow.
“You tripped?” He blushed at your voice and took another bite before responding.
“I did! I was actually running from a demon.” You gave him a look and he continued, “You don’t understand it was beyond our capabilities. Of course if I had my actual weapon, I could have taken it on.” You laughed again. Both of you stayed together for the rest of the selection. Kajun was a big talker and he shared his knowledge of the other breathing styles. You didn’t talk much, but it was nice to have someone to listen to. He also talked a lot about stone breathing. This style was more of a distanced fighting. It was surprising and impressive that he was able to come here without the weapon he needed. Kajun was a strong fighter, but he had glaring weaknesses. He was too confident in his ability with the wrong weapon, he was impatient in battle, and he became unfocused when scared. That’s what lead to him tripping and injuring himself in the first place. When the final selection was over, you two were the only survivors.
“Congratulations, you’ve completed the final selection. These are your crows they will be used as messengers for missions. Please come up and pick ores for you blades, these will be formed into your weapons and sent to you after several weeks.” You helped Kajun up to the stand. Now that both of you were out, he was really feeling his injury.
“Know which to pick?” You shook your head and looked down. There was one that the end that look cloudy. You picked it up and it vibrated at your touch. A small yellow line broke through the top. I guess this one is mine. Kajun picked up multiple ores until one pricked his finger and made him bleed. He picked that one. “It’s a fighter. I like that in a rock.” The girls picked up your ores. Kajun was taken away to be treated, so you said your goodbyes before heading out.
After several weeks with Kuwajima training, a man arrived with a package. It was your blade. Like you, the man didn’t speak much unless it was about forgery. It was awkward at first. You unwrapped the blade and removed it from the sheath. Yellow sprung up from the bottom and started racing up the blade like lighting. You actually almost dropped it from the electricity in the air. Everyone’s hair stood up on edge, at the top of the blade the color was more orange. It was a gradient starting from the middle.
“Interesting, I was excited to see a yellow blade, but this is… interesting.” The sword smith puffed out from behind his mask. “If you ever break my blade, I will hunt you down and kill you with it.” You nodded seriously to match his energy. Kuwajima grabbed the blade from you to look closer.
“There is only a color to the blade when you’ve reached a certain level of skill. I’ve never seen this type of color though.” You shrugged in response. There probably wasn’t too much you were going to find out about it. A couple of days later, your crow came with your first mission and you parted again. This time for a while as you went on many more missions one after another.
After your 17th mission you had an encounter with the lower moon one, struggling to win the battle with a flashy new form. When you were healing, the demon slayer head Ubuyashiki sent a crow for you. An invitation to become a hashira at their meeting later this year. Another pillar was being appointed with you as well. You sent the message with another letter to Kuwajima. He liked to be updated on how you were doing. Kuwajima had also adopted two younger boys and began to train them. You elected not to tell him of your new form yet. The blowback from it was dangerous and you didn’t need anyone else trying it yet.
The hashira meeting was awkward. All the hashira introduced themselves after your inauguration and a couple other meeting points. The girl you had been promoted with already knew most of them if not all.
“Shinobu Kochou, insect hashira.”
“Tengen Uzui, sound hashira!”
“Rengoku Kyojuro, flame hashira!”
“Himejima Gyomei, stone hashira.”
“Shinazugawa Sanemi, wind hashira.”
“Iguro Obanai, snake hashira.”
“Tokito Muichiro, mist hashira.” He was so young!
“Tomioka Giyuu, water hashira.” They then waited for your introduction, which never came. You just started back. Tengen broke the silence.
“And your name?” You blinked and looked back over at Ubuyashiki. There was a reason he didn’t introduce you to the hashira after all… you still didn’t really have a name. Besides the last name Kuwajima, which still technically wasn’t yours. You looked back torwards them all again before looking down. It was still hard after all these years to talk to strangers.
“Just thunder… hashira. No name.” Multiple looked at you suspiciously, after all they had horrible backgrounds but they still had names.
“Family name?” Rengoku spoke up this time with curiosity.
“Ah… Kuwajima, I guess.”
“You were trained by the previous lightning hashira?” Rengoku asked again and you nodded. Himejima was mumbling something behind them. You remembered he was a stone breather, so you moved away from everyone to stop in front of him. You bowed before looking up at his tall figure.
“Do you know Ikari Kajun?”
“I trained him a little, poor soul. I think he’s on a mission up north.” You nodded and turned away towards everyone.
“Thank you for having me.” You started towards the gates of the garden. Planning on heading to the graveyard to pay your respects then to head north. Ubuyashiki laughed at your strange personality. All the hashira had it after all. Sanemi watched you walk a couple of strides away before chasing after you.
“Wait up! I would like to do a training battle to see your strength.” You stopped and turned to look at him. The idea confused you. You had never battled someone to train before, but you had only trained with Kuwajima. The other hashira brightened up at the idea of a battle. This seemed to be something common.
“When?”
“Uh now?”
“Where?”
“There’s a better training ground in the forest behind the estate.” You nodded and waited for him to led the way. He seemed to understand after a couple of blinks. “Try to keep up!” He ran in the direction of the forest. The other hashira further behind both of you. It was easy to keep his pace, but you were surprised at his speed. As a lightning breather, speed was something imperative to your breathing style. The grounds came into view and you raced ahead.
When pulling out your blade, they looked upon the color curiously.
“The color is odd, no?” Iguro was one to talk. You had seen his weirdly shaped blade and almost wanted to comment.
“Have you come up with any new forms?” Shinobu questioned. “Lightning breathing is close with flame. It might be beneficial for you to train with Rengoku-sama.” You looked over at the two and handed Shinobu your blade so she could get a closer look. She was the only one you felt comfortable with so far.
“I’ve made one new form. It is unstable.”
“How do you mean?” Rengoku asked and took your blade to look at it himself. The color sure was weird. He handed it back to you with a wide smile.
“I developed and used it in my most recent fight, however, it is hard to control. I ended up blasting myself with a lightning bolt.” You turned away and walked towards Sanemi again.
“A lightning bolt?” Sanemi had actually never seen fully mastered lightning breathing. You lifted up your right pant leg to your knee. A large scar like those of being struck by lightning ran up your calf and stopped just a little under your knee. They didn’t know this, but it led all the way down and “out” your foot. Tengen wolf whistled, but you paid him no mind.
“You said you wanted to test my strengths. Will we fight with breathing forms?” He tore his gaze from your leg with a blush.
“Why wouldn’t we? I don’t half ass a battle!” You let the pants fall back down and both got into position. Starting with your blades drawn, a few feet in front of each other.
Both of you walked in a wide circle around each other.
Sanemi was large and stronger than you, but you were faster. He was still a hashira however so his speed shouldn’t be underestimated. You formed a plan. Throwing out the first form, you aimed for his forehead. As expected his speed was enough to duck below your blade in time. The next movements were done in seconds that only the hashira could follow.
Rengoku watched from the sidelines with everyone else in curiosity. Your body flew over Sanemi. You planted your feet on his shoulders and flew up higher. The blade caught the light. Rengoku’s eyes widened catching the new color. The end of the blade was a soft red in the sunlight and the gradient almost looked like his hair. It was beautiful. Your lightning form rose your hair up from the static and the way the two end strands of your haori flowed behind you reminded him of a wind chime. Time seemed to stop for a moment, he could hear the soft wind chime that always reminded him of his mother and his heart began to beat faster. The thunder finally reached their ears as you started your decent to the space behind Sanemi. The loud noise, the scent of metal, and the way your haori now spread out behind you. It reminded him of fireworks. He wondered if this is how his father felt when he first met his mother.
The other hashira besides him were semi impressed at your plan as you landed and got into another position. However, Rengoku’s wide eyes, open mouth, and soft blush were far more entertaining. The others laughed softly snapping him out of the trance. His face returned to normal and he looked around at the others curiously. Sanemi shouted from the battle field and they all looked back. You were smiling shyly behind him in apology and shuffling your feet. There wasn’t really any injuries on either of you so they were confused until you spoke.
“I can fix that for you.” You whispered in his direction to try and sooth his anger. It seems like you accidentally tore a large cut in the leg of his pants. Sanemi wasn’t a material person, but it was annoying that you technically got close enough to cut him and now he had to get a new pair of pants.
“You better fix it!” You rolled your eyes and put the blade away. “Hey, this isn’t over!” He chased after you with his own blade and you dismissively waved him off. His stupid pants and fight would have to wait.
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