#both of the mods are exactly like this

[birdcatt]

the characters ever

[onewingedangels]

was complaining to myself all day how exhausted I am but will not take a nap only to stay up till almost 6 in the morning playing sdv

[lmk-trans-throwdown]

ROUND TWO!!!

[thunderc1an]

Fun fact, my mom has a picture of her and Obama shaking hands,

He wrote something on the photo then signed it.

[anqelbean]

Man, looking through danmei confessions was a mistake

[vanivanvanilla]

among us lifesteal au (explodes)

idk if i’ll do anything with this but i really like the idea of it 👍 here’s what i have atm

spoke: imposter (idk if he’d have a specific role yet)

mapicc: imposter & linked with ro

ro: crewmate & linked with mapicc

leo: the executioner

ash: the glitch

cube: the engineer

zam: the detective

clown: the jackal (no sidekick)

jaron: the jester

bacon: the swapper

planet: the shifter (maybe)

rek: crewmate with flash modifier

mid: altruist

clutch: crewmate with button barry modifier

red: crewmate (not sure if he’d have any modifiers)

[dsfjjshgffdg]

daily reminder to never use reddit guys (1st comment was referring to the thin blue line flag)

[ilaiyayaya]

🤔i don't know what to do now.

I was gonna look into getting HRT, and I'm probably still gonna do that pretty soon, but then my car died and I had to spend nearly 4k on a new one, which luckily I saved enough to where I'm still fine, but it did completely interrupt my streak of productivity towards doing trans stuff. On top of that, having to be around both my father and one of my uncles almost every day for the last 2 weeks to deal with said car has caused a massive drop in mental health and I've especially been in kill mode for the last 48 hours, which makes it kinda hard to get anything else done.

Overall tho, getting a car now is probably a net positive, I'm not gonna have to worry about panicking to get a car as quickly as possible after I moved out because if my old one had died after I left, but before I was able to get a new one, I would've probably been really fucked. Not great timing to happen at this exact moment though.

And on the topic of moving out, I don't really have any reason to not just move to an entirely different state now. I'm not entirely sure where to move, wherever it is, realistically it'll probably be relatively short-term, but every reason I had before to stay in my current area is kinda gone, I have a car now and thus won't have to worry as much about dying on the road while driving 500,000,000,000 kilometers to another state, I pretty much exclusively talk to all of my friends online now, even the ones that I do live near, so that won't really change much, I kinda hate my job now and have been heavily considering quitting since like, November so like, don't really care to stay here just for that. The only real reason I have to stay here is that living expenses are fairly cheap, but this is far from the only area in the country where that's the case, and I know there are other places that are even cheaper. My reasons for needing to leave keep increasing too, the core general reason is just, my family live here, and I want most of my family dead (and some of them want me dead too!) but more specifically, my mother almost certainly knows I'm still living here by this point, I learned about 6 months ago that she had moved back here after being in another state for the last 5 years, and while I'm not in contact with her at all, it's not unlikely that she's heard from someone else that I'm here, possibly even where I work or any other information, and her knowing literally anything about my current location pretty much puts a timer on my life because she really does not want me to be alive. Tension with the rest of my family has also gotten significantly worse in the last few months (which is largely my fault but like, what am I supposed to do, not tell my uncle to kill himself???), which really I don't care much about, most of them I normally see 5 times per year max, and even the few I do see more often than that have extremely little impact on my life, but the bigger concern is that a couple of them have definitely, at least to some degree, caught onto me being trans. Or maybe they just think I'm gay but like either way it's a potential problem for me, my family is extremely bigoted (the uncle I told to kill himself literally prompted me to say that by going on a massive rant about electric cars being bad because, something about them all being made by f*gs??? idk being in the same room as that man is like being in the same room as a stereotypical 4chan user, but like, the worst kind) (that uncle btw is not one of the relatives that have probably caught onto me being trans, he is so incredibly dense that I could probably directly tell him I'm trans myself and he probably just like, wouldn't even process it and then somehow use it as an opportunity to tell me to remove all of my money from the banks because the blog he read says joe biden is gonna pass a bill tomorrow that makes banks disappear). Biggest reason why I think some of them know is because a couple of them (one in particular, a different uncle than the one i told to kill himself) have really started to enjoy bringing up conversation topics related to trans and gay people, and my answer is always just complete neutrality, but in a way where it is so extremely obvious that I am just trying to say whatever gets them to shut the fuck up. If any of them, or especially my father who I currently live with, had 100% concrete proof that I'm trans, it would become completely insufferable, I would actually end up murdering one of them within a week I am certain of it, even just being in the same area and them knowing where I live, they would make my life hell immediately, and I'd really rather just not deal with that, and it's really hard to fully cut contact with those people if I'm living in the same town as them, even if I try to.

Another one of the other reasons I had for just getting an apartment where I currently live was that I had a few options for potential roommates, which would make paying rent a lot easier, but that's not the case anymore, some of those options went away once I came out as trans, some I am absolutely not comfortable with living with anymore, a few have since found other roommates or just moved out on their own, and the rest are all just other miscellaneous reasons. I don't really have any viable options for roommates in other states either, but since I don't have any here either, it doesn't really make much of a difference. I technically do know people elsewhere that would probably be willing to live with me, the problem is they're all either in other countries, which I'd be fine with eventually, but not right now, or they're in texas or florida, so, so many in texas and florida, texas especially, why is everyone i know in texas i am not moving to texas especially when most of the people i know that already live there hate it. so yea I'm pretty much on my own unless I want to move to the UK or Texas and I'm not doing that, luckily I expected and prepared for this so I should be fine financially for at least 1 year even on my own, even if it's not ideal. Financially I'm probably fine moving somewhere else, the main concern is everything else cuz like, I'm dumb. and stupid. and incompetent. and i fuck everything up and am bad at everything. Me being stupid and incompetent still applies to living the same state i currently do but like, 🤔idk i just feel like i'd be more likely to have actual consequences for being a massive fuckup somewhere that isn't here. But like yea I'm an idiot.

I don't even know where I would move, for the last few months I was looking into apartments with the intent of temporarily living here for like 6 more months, but again, new car, no more reasons to stay, I think it'd kinda just be a waste of 6 months at this point. But if I commit to moving to a different state I'll have to completely restart the process of searching for an apartment, except it'll be even harder because I don't even know where to look for an apartment at, like I don't know where I want to go I just know I can't be here for much longer. Plus moving states probably requires a bunch of paperwork stuff, like, I probably need a new license for that state and like uhhh new bank account because the current bank i use only has locations in this state and i don't know how hard all of that stuff is to do, like I said I'm a stupid idiot that's incompetent and dumb and should die. Guess I'll die then cause as I've been writing this I'm becoming more and more committed to the idea of just saying fuck it and leaving, I have no clue how much longer it'll take to find a place and get everything sorted out in order to move states but like, if I stay in this town for another 6 months or more like my original plan I am absolutely going to end up killing myself, and that would not be fun so I'd rather not do that.

Idk whether it'd be better to just start hrt after finding another place, or go back to trying to get it now, because on one hand finding somewhere in another state could potentially take a lot longer than it would've taken to find a place in this town and each month that goes by without me being on estrogen is another month closer to the guillotine, but also if I try starting hrt immediately after I move out it'd just be adding to the pile of things to be stressed about because I'd be going through the whole process of trying to get it while also trying to figure out everything else. I was trying to list reasons why both starting hrt now, and starting hrt later have downsides, but I think I literally just gave reasons for why starting hrt later would be bad, but like trust me there are reasons why looking into getting it now would also be hard and potentially bad, it's fine it's fine I have the excuse of being kinda tired and extra mentally ill after just getting out of one of the worst meltdowns I've ever had over the last 24 hours so like it's fine if everything I say is completely incomprehensible verbal slop I get the free pass to be unhinged right now if you yell at me for being insane right now you're being mean and unfair and i'll cry. Mods decipher what anything said in this entire multi-paragraph rant means even I, the writer, the author, the director, the lead actor, do not understand what literally any of it means. I should probably sleep but mania hittin too hard to do so so instead time to listen to the Colress battle theme on loop and walk in circles (a normal tuesday (chewsday innit)).

I am so confused

[pinkfey]

Lmk if your over this discourse but, why do so many people ask if Karlach is supposed to be Asian? It’s on tiktok again & I recall a dozen posts regarding it here and twitter 🧐

believe me i have no idea but it makes me want to put my head through a wall

[jessiethewitchzard]

Seeing @thydungeongal constantly wrestling with people interpreting her posts about D&D in ways that seem completely alien to me has convinced me that there are actually multiple completely distinct activities both being referred to as "playing D&D" Before we begin, I want to stress that I'm not saying one of these groups is Playing The Game Wrong or anything, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and conflict caused by people not being aware of the distinction. In fact, either one works just fine if everyone's on the same page. So far, I think I've identified at least two main groups. And nobody seems to realize the distinction between these groups even exists. The first group of people think of "Playing D&D" as, well, more or less like any other board game. Players read the whole rulebook all the way through, all the players follow the instructions, and the gameplay experience is determined by what the rules tell each player to do. This group thinks of the mechanics as, not exactly the *whole* game, but certainly the fundamental skeleton that everything else is built on top of. People in the second group think of "Playing D&D" as referring to, hanging out with their friends, collaboratively telling a story inspired by some of the elements in the rulebooks, maybe rolling some dice to see what happens when they can't decide. This group thinks of the mechanics of the game as, like... a spice to sprinkle on top of the story to mix things up. (if you belong to this second group, and think I'm explaining it poorly, please let me know, because I'm kind of piecing things together from other people saying things I don't understand and trying to reverse engineer how they seem to be approaching things.) I think this confusion is exacerbated by the fact that Wizards of the Coast markets D&D as if these are the same thing. They emphatically are not. the specific rules laid out of the D&D rulebooks actually direct players to tell a very specific kind of story. You can tell other stories if you ignore those rules (which still counts as "playing D&D" under the second definition, but doesn't under the first)And I think people in both groups are getting mad because they assume that everyone is also using their definition. For example, there's a common argument that I've seen play out many times that goes something like this:

A: "How do I mod D&D to do [insert theme here]?" B: "D&D is really not built for that, you should play [other TTRPG] that's designed for it instead" A: "But I don't want to learn a whole new game system!" B: "It will be easier to just learn a whole new system than mod D&D to do that." A: "whatever, I'll just mod D&D on my own" And I think where this argument comes from is the two groups described above completely talking past each other. No one understands what the other person is trying to say. From A's perspective, as a person in the second group, it sounds like A: "Anyone have some fun inspirations for telling stories about [insert theme here]?" B: "You can't sit around a table with your friends and tell a story about that theme! That's illegal." A: "But we want to tell a story about this theme!" B: "It's literally impossible to do that and you're a dumb idiot baby for even thinking about it." A: "whatever, jerk, I'll figure it out on my own."

--- Whereas, from B's perspective, the conversation sounds like A: "How do I change the rules of poker to be chess, and not be poker?" B: "uhhh, just play chess?" A: "But I already know how to player poker! I want to play poker, but also have it be chess!" B: "what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean. They're completely different games." A: "I'm going to frankenstein these rules together into some kind of unplayably complex monster and you can't stop me!" ---

So both people end up coming away from the conversation thinking the other person is an idiot. And really, depending on how you concieve of what it means to "play D&D" what is being asked changes considerably. If you're only planning to look through the books for cool story inspiration, maybe borrow a cool little self contained sub-system here or there, then yeah, it's very possible to steal inspiration for your collaborative story from basically anywhere. Maybe some genres are kind of an awkward fit together, but you can make anything work with a little creativity.

If, however, you are thinking of the question in terms of frankensteining two entire board games together, then it becomes a massively difficult or even outright nonsensical idea. For example, for skill checks, the game Shadowrun has players roll a pool of several d6 at once, then count up how many rolled above a target value to see how well a character succeeded at a task. The whole game is full of specific rules about adding or removing dice from the pool, effects happening if you roll doubles, rerolling only some of the dice, and all sorts of other things that simply do not translate to rolling a single d20 for skill checks. On a basic level, the rules of the games work very differently. Trying to make them compatible would be much harder than just learning a new game from scratch. Now, neither of these approaches is exactly *wrong*, I guess, but personally, I find the rules of TTRPGs to be fascinating and worth taking the time to engage with all the weird little nuances and seeing what shakes out. Also, the first group, "TTRPG as fancy board game" is definitely the older and more widespread one. I kind of get the impression that the second group largely got into D&D through actual play podcasts, but I don't have any actual data to back that up. So, if you're in the second group, who thinks of D&D as basically a context for collaborative storytelling first and a game second, please let me know if I'm wildly misunderstanding how you approach D&D. Because I'm pretty sure it would save us a whole lot of stupid misunderstandings.

[malwaredykes]

well. here she is. miss Leigh Stasik.

trans woman. stubborn, incorrigible, eccentric. communist; she has leftist in-fighting with herself on the regular. a cannibal; she has no moral qualms about this, and its both a bit of a spiritual thing and a bit of a pragmatic thing. medic (not a doctor. no medical license). she knows for sure she had some kind of significant personality change from being shot in the head, but she doesn't remember what she was like exactly before it happened, it all became this kind of distant memory soup. shes originally from west new cali, but she grew very attached to the mojave. and has a lot of contempt for the ncr. She Will Serve Crack Before She Serves This Country. thank god the army discriminates against transsexuals etc. zero tolerance for the legion, obviously.

she firmly believes she is not nice, or kind, or compassionate, but instead her actions and her general sense of justice stem from her simply doing whats the most logical and objectively beneficial. it may be true to some extent, but she might also have a wee bit of ocd of the "i am a horrible person whos at all times like 2 seconds away from committing atrocities" variety.

shes a SCIENTIST. unofficially. she doesnt have a degree nor a chosen field of study. she makes her own hrt and other mysterious concoctions, including designer chems. which she claims she ingests injects etc not for recreational purposes, but to Enhance Her Powers And Possibilities. she reads old world books about psychology so she can manipulate people better. and makes weird contraptions and doohickeys while high. shes a HACKER of course and hacks terminals and systems for fun and just to see if she can.

her stats are out there due to implants and intense training, originally they were rather average. in-game she wears combat armor mk 2, but i see her having spruced it up like this. her main weapon is the ycs/186, the unique gauss rifle, but before that she used a modded plasma pistol. which she very much enjoyed the silly appearance of. because it was so small and with so much shit tacked on and she could just hold it in one hand like a mutated revolver like Hands up motherfucker bang bang bang lol. her melee weapon of choice is the machete gladius, but she's been training to be able to wield a thermic lance.

in my head the trajectory of her actions and the fate of the mojave that follows is different from what you can do with the game, because leigh could only go for The Secret Leftist Route Which Was Supposed To Be In The Game But We Were Robbed Of It.

boone was the first friend she made after leaving goodsprings and their relationship is particularly notable. they are Comrades, Siblings-In-Arms, Worsties (like besties but fucked up). theyve seen each other at their worst. they annoy each other on purpose. theyve had serious ideological clashes with each other and some ways in which boone perceives the world drive leigh absolutely nuts. they're ride or die for each other. theyre the kind of comfortable around each other where she'll be on the toilet and smoking a cig with the door open and talking to him, while he's naked sitting on the floor removing stitches from his leg. she's done surgery without anesthesia on him. he's projectile vomited blood on her from being poisoned by cazadores. she strongly encourages him to become a traitor to the ncr and to take part in the revolution and the formation of the new independent mojave alliance. somehow, it works on him in the end. shamefully they kinda like snuggling... boone bro come to bed man its nighty night man its beddy bye time.

shes in love with lily bowen. i havent decided yet whether she actually makes a move. but she thinks lily is sooooo dreamy. and shes right. if you dont think the enormous 203 year old blue mutant woman is dreamy thats your problem. outta her way

[sweetmage]

When I say I hate being black in this fandom, this is exactly why. The constant dismissal, exclusion, and judgement of the only black character is frustrating. The way some people treat those who are bothered by this is frankly disgusting.

Had someone reply to a post I reblogged about fandom racism the other day calling the OP delusional for being upset (op if you see this I'm so sorry someone did that from my blog).

Saw someone on twitter saying that them excluding Wyll from an artwork they labeled "full party" was fine because they drew a red girl and a green girl (because that is totally the same as black people /s) and then basically said they'll never draw Wyll again.

Seeing constant criticisms and judgements of Wyll for things other characters do and arent criticized for.

The white washing mods, the racist comments on his appearance, the fact that Larian reworked him to appeal to crybaby white gamers, etc. etc.

And now what just happened to Theo in the interview makes me livid. He deserves so much better than being shoved aside by both the fandom and the interviewer.

Y'all really need to examine your biases and behavior and do better. No one has to like Wyll or any other character, but some of y'all need to put some thought into how you behave about him and how you talk about and represent black characters and how you address BIPOC fans who are hurt.

[jakei95]

Regarding some false accusations and targeted harassment by HopelessPeaches TW: Harassment, mentions of gr**ming, d**th threats, s*icide idealization

For the past months, HopelessPeaches (also known as ThatRebelRosie on twitter) have kept harassing me and my husband Nyx with fake and exaggerated arguments. Every day she makes a post spreading rumors about how we are p*dophiles or that I hide groomers on my discord server/community which are completely false.

Even since I cutoff contact with the people from the GTC and their skype group, I tried to focus on growing up as a person and thanks to that we were able to keep our Discord server and community a safe space for people of all ages, claiming otherwise is just invalidating all the hard work people like Crystal or Pingu have done to keep our community safe.

We always tried to help our mod team and offered our support, we never forced them or exposed them to situations they didn't want to handle.  None of us were prepared for the sick people we have had to confront over the years, but together we were able to take actions against them.

HopelessPeaches is obsessed with us, claiming that every action we take is to hide something or that we are trying to silence her abuse (When it's the other way around, she completely ignores the abuse I had to endure). She has gone to the extent of saying I announced Underverse 0.7 Part 2 to hide something, when I had planned to announce the animation on my birthday months ago.

She has constantly made fun of my abuse and mental health, and has stayed completely silent about all the hate messages (Including death threats) that she and her community has sent my way over her false accusations.

As I already cleared with the people on my server, I am not ignoring what I might have done in the past, and I will always live with the remorse of not being a better person from the start, I will always live with that, but I have spent years trying to become a better person and fix my mistakes to never repeat them again, both with my close circles and my followers, but having someone that I don't know, exposing my mental health problems, making fun them, accuse me of suicide baiting (Everyone that knows me knows I have struggled with this since I was a teenager), and also accusing me of a crime that I have never committed, is affecting me physically and mentally.

She is doing the same thing to me that she suffered from years ago. This has to stop. I am not asking for the world to not hate me, I am asking for people to stop harassing us for things that we have already acknowledged and owned fully in the past. People can change for the better, we are not criminals.

We have no intentions to send hate to these people, but this has gone so public and we have gotten so many threats that I had to address it personally. HopelessPeaches , I don't know what exactly you want from me, or what do you expect is going to happen, but this is the last time I will ask you to stop harassing us. I don't care if you hate me or Nyx, if you want the Undertale community dies or whatever that's going on through your head. I am just asking you to leave us alone.

[omgthatdress]

the major takeaway from last night is that Karl Lagerfeld was more of a personality than a designer and that Yves Saint Laurent was the clear winner of that rivalry.

For those who aren’t familiar, Karl Lagerfeld and Yves Saint Laurent were both fashion wunderkinds who emerged in the late 1950s, both appointed heads of major brands at the same time, and had very intense rivalry. Yves Saint Laurent took over Dior after the passing of Christian Dior, helped cement the brand as a major player in fashion, and then after a disastrous stint being drafted into the French army, built his own fashion brand that went down in history with its unique and diverse and always evolving looks.

Karl was always kind of behind Yves. He designed for a lot of major fashion brands, and managed to establish himself at the top of the game at Chloé, but he didn’t get his full on legendary status until he took over Chanel in 1983. This history of the Chanel brand was already pretty frought, with Coco Chanel modernizing and defining the fashion of the 1920s and 30s, but being forced to shut down during World War 2, during which she collaborated with the Nazis. Behind the Bastards did a pretty great two episodes on her. When the brand returned in the 60s, fashion had changed tremendously. Dior, Givenchy, Balenciaga, and Balmain had all taken over mid-century fashion, and now that aesthetic was being taken over by mod, the miniskirt, and the likes of Mary Quant, Pierre Cardin, and Paco Rabanne. So when Chanel came back it was largely seen as a stuffy old lady brand, which it remained until Karl took it over.

Now, this is where Karl actually did something really impressive that you honestly can’t take away from him: he took a fashion house in severe decline, one that had been in its flop era for literal decades, and he made it hip again, while still managing to stay true to the ethos that Coco Chanel had laid out.

Chanel is clean, minimalistic, and classy. It is easy to wear, effortless, and always extremely glamorous, which is what made it so iconic in the 20s and 30s. Given that the 50s and 60s were all about making a fucking effort, the thing that the brand managed to keep doing well was its suits. You know what kind of suits I’m talking about. Tweed jackets and midi skirts, neat tailoring, delicate pastel colors, pearls and camellias and chains. It’s not so much that it was edgy and exciting but it was expensive and it was *Chanel* and people wore it for the status symbol alone. That is what Karl took advantage of and managed to re-invent.

That sort of aesthetic fit perfectly into the you-can-never-be-too-rich-or-too-skinny 80s, when wearing status symbol clothing was everything.

Then, in the 90s, he managed to keep things exciting by following exactly what was on-trend at the time and incorporating elements of street wear and hip-hop.

However, after that, he kind of lost his edge and just rested on “it’s Chanel” rather than actually pushing the fashion envelope. By the time he died in 2019, he was a fucking dinosaur and fashion had long since moved past him. The thing that he was ultimately most well known for was his own very distinctive look and flamboyant personality.

Before I ever started studying fashion, I knew who Karl was because I’d seen him so many times, and I’d seen parodies of him so many times. I knew *him* but I didn’t really know his work. And I think having an incredibly boring Met Gala dedicated to him reveals that: his actual artistic legacy is skinnier than the models he used to berate. Karl Lagerfeld built his brand on his diva personality, and that sort of personality and outlook just isn’t hip anymore. Fashion is always about moving forward, and Lagerfeld’s beliefs should remain fossilized in the past.

[a-sapphic-love]

🧴-bodyguard els!

summary: in which the reader's father is a celebrity, so he gets reader a bodyguard for protection! ellie sees through the protests and rebellion, and she knows exactly how to get you to admit what you want.

warnings: MDNI!!!!, bratty!reader, lowkey spoiled!reader, brat tamer! ellie, smuttt, nipple play, degrading, nipple piercing, bodyguard!ellie, bdsm, power dynamics, teasing, lowkey daddy issues!reader, probably more that i forgot to list

the people have spoken! most requested from my last poll💞

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

"what the fuck do you mean I'm getting a bodyguard!? you can't be serious!" you scream, fuming at your dad for his latest antics. you usually keep your cool, but he's never said anything this stupid before.

a bodyguard? what for?

you're so annoyed he's taking this step, sure he's famous and you're pretty reckless- so what? you're not a small child, you're grown and you can take care of yourself!

your father, on the other hand, seems not to care- like usual. he keeps that same blank stare as you unleash your rage, and once you pause to catch your breath, he excuses himself.

too busy with the next brand deal, or advertisment, or magazine column. soo frustrating!

you can't believe him, buying you some guy to follow you around and make sure you live the dullest, most monotone life possible! this is truly a nightmare!

before the bodyguard even arrives, you're thinking of ways to scare him off. you could completely torment him, maybe bring as many girls home as possible and get touchy. or maybe you could pretend like he hurt you! that would rile your father up!

by the day you finally meet your new incarcerator, you're sure you'll have him gone in less than a month. you know it won't be long before it's back to programming as usual.

except, something unexpected happens. you're introduced to the bodyguard, and instead of some pervy, buff man, you find a woman standing before you.

a very pretty woman.

you didn't plan for this, and it frustrates you even more that you father somehow managed to be one step ahead this time. this woman made you nervous before you even knew her name!

you have to keep your mean façade up, though, so you make sure to say something snarky. "so you're the woman who signed up to act like my babysitter.. how much is he paying you, huh?", you snicker in her face, and she just smiles.

"good money, that's for sure. my name is ellie, what's yours?", she says, walking you into your apartment. you don't even want to look at her, because it gets you all flustered.

you're surprised she doesn't say anything about your silence- she's not trying to control you yet. you're tired of the quiet.

you run into your bedroom, flopping on the bed and groaning in annoyance at the sight of ellie in the doorway. "my room doesn't even have windows- what could even happen?! can I get some space!" you yell out into the doorway, and ellie just nods before walking off. what?

she... listened?

the next few weeks are beyond what you could ever have imagined. ellie doesn't invade your privacy, she barely even bothers you, and she's discreet whenever you both go out.

it starts to annoy you how well the whole bodyguard thing is working out. because it means your father was right about this being a good choice, and you can't stand for your father to be right.

so you get even more reckless. more drinking, more nights out, more ellie having to drag your sloppy drunk self home. even so, you never heard a word of complaint- in fact, she took any chance she could find to get closer with you. it was getting irritating.

but if you couldn't take ellie down, the least you could do is a big fuck-you to your dad. let him know you can never let him win!

the press has had a field day with the relationship between you and your father, and the many rebellious stunts you've pulled before. you've gotten tattoos, some facial piercings and you weren't against most body mods.

however, you'd never done anything really scandalous. nothing like getting a nipple piercing.

you were fairly drunk one night, stumbling home with ellie's arm just barely propping you up, when you passed by your favorite piercing store. you were the most impulsive when you were drunk, and as soon as you saw that shop, you floundered right over.

so many kinds of piercings, but all you wanted was a nipple piercing- and you wanted it bad.

so bad, that ellie couldn't stop you when you got it done. she defeatedly paid before taking you home, but you noticed a glint in her eye.

the next day, ellie sat you down on your bed after your shower, and asked about the piercing. "does it hurt? is it sensitive?" she asked in a careful voice. you wanted to give her attitude soo bad, but not when she acted so caring.

you tried to just brush her off, but eventually she cut to the chase. "listen, you know im here to protect you, right? it's really not safe to... be so impulsive. i know you find me irritating. but please, just let me help you... you can listen this one time?" she says, with such saccharine eyes you couldn't help but melt.

"right! yeah, sure, just... what- what do i need to do?" you asked. she was just being so nice, it made you so flustered....

thats why you listened when she asked if you could let her see the piercings. even though letting her see your bare nipples was... humiliating, warmth was spreading in your underwear as well on your face. shit- you were aroused?!

ellie seemed so kind, gently inspecting the piercing. your nipples had always been sensitive, so they were even worse pierced. just feeling them rub against your shirt made your body tingle.

"there we go, you're going to let me help you clean 'em, right?" ellie said, voice nearly a whisper. you were willing to let her do anything- so you nodded quickly.

ellie used some cotton pads that were wet with saline solution, before just feeling your nipples with her soft fingers. she noticed the blissed out look in your eyes, and that's when she decided to stop. "alright, you're all clean! you did such a a great job, y'know.." she said, in a whispery voice.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to whine, beg for her to keep touching you, but you started to feel bad. she was just trying to help you clean the piercing, wasn't she?

"wait, what's wrong?" ellie says, pausing in the middle of putting the supplies back. "did I hurt you?" she asks, and your brain begins to short-circuit. this much affection from a girl has been previously unheard of, and it just all feels too good... your brain is so fuzzy...

ellie understands when a small whine escapes your lips. "wait... something going on here?'" she says, narrowing her eyes. she has you right where she wants you.

you stumble over your words, trying to make excuses for your flusteredness, but ellie doesn't hear any of it. "what, you really feel that way about your bodyguard?", she leans in and whispers.

you can't deny the attraction you've had to her for a while. anyway, you won't get what you want if you do.

"that- right, I'm sorry, just let me deal with this really quick," you say breathlessly. you can't bear to tell her what you really feel. it's too bad, then, that she has every intention to make you.

"no, don't worry... I can help you. just say it. tell me what you want me to do..." she whispers, before getting up from the bed with a cocky smile you've hardly seen before. you can tell she's waited all too long for this.

"ellie... els, shit, I... need you to help me over here..." you whine, hand resting on your soaking cunt. you just want ellie to fill you up.

luckily, she takes that as enough begging. you don't even realize it when your clothes are gone, or when she has you bent over the bed.

her fingers slip in and out of your sticky folds, lighting your skin on fire. all you can think of is how bad you want her.

her warm tongue abuses your clit, her hands have a bruising grip on your thighs. she has your legs shaking and your head spinning.

"js'sso pretty down here, right sweetness?" she mumbles, giving your ass a light slap before getting up and undressing herself. a thick, 8-inch marbled strap made its way out of her boxers, and you practically drooled.

but you'd taken many straps before, 8 inches wasn't too bad for you. so you got cocky. "what, only 8? you sure you don't have something bigger?" you sneered, and a look flashed in her eyes.

"there she is, the brat is back isn't she?" she chuckled. her hand snaked down your back teasingly, before pressing your back into a deeper arch. you groaned at the pressure, but it wasn't too much.

"you gonna p-put it in already?" you say, voice wavering. ellie looks kind of scary, like she's been waiting for you to say something distasteful.

her hands grip your hips, and you feel the strap slide in. it's definitely got some girth to it, but what's really shocking is how quickly ellie slams it in. so fast, you feel like you can taste her in your mouth.

"come on, where did the attitude go? i thought 8 inches was nothing for you?" she whispers in your ear, sliding in and out at a harsh pace. you can't even speak, body shaking as she fucks you relentlessly.

one of her hands is playing with your nipple, and the other is gently rubbing circles on your clit. "els- ellie, please.." you choke out. she's going so roughly, but you feel like you're about to cum all over yourself.

"you know, you act so insufferable... celebrity's daughter, thinking she can treat people like shit, because what? 'cause her daddy doesn't pay enough attention to 'er?" she says, groaning at how tight you're squeezing the strap.

" 'm so sorry els- shitt, ellie, please..." you whimper, but she just gives your thigh a light smack. "you're sorry, huh?" she mocks, before grabbing your face and kissing all over your lips. "you gonna be good now, right? 'cause bad girls don't get to cum!" she grunts, slamming her hips into yours even harder. your cum is running down your legs, a creamy mess that gets your thighs all sticky and tacky.

"mhm, m'gonna be so good for you els! please, please just let me cum..", you mumble, shoving your face into a pillow because you're just so needy that you put your defenses down.

"good- shit, good fucking girl." she coos, giving your sloppy wet cunt multiple light slaps. "you gonna cum? come on baby, you can do it..."

for a second, everything is misty. your legs shake and go weak, stuffing you even fuller of ellie's thick strap. creamy, sticky squirt sprays all over the bed, while ellie's grip on your hips tightens.

"shit, you- you feel so good..." she mumbles, before nearly collapsing on top of you from the intensity of her own orgasm.

you lay on the bed, out of breath, when suddenly she leans in close from behind you and whispers something.

"round two?"

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

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[sorcerous-caress]

So fun fact about me irl I work with children but often my teacher language slips out like telling my friends to say “bye bye bus”, telling another person in my lecture writing to “be nice to the pencil, it’s your friend.” And greeting a roomful of grown as adults with good morning boys and girls. It’s mortifying but How do you think the companions would react to having a teacher!tav slip up like that.

Dealing with a Teacher Tav

[Bg3, fluff, platonic kinda, nb!reader]

[Gale, Shadowheart, Laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc]

Gale

He delightfully plays along whenever you tell him to thank a stranger or say goodbye to an inanimate object. He thinks it's very silly and joyous.

Teachers have always been a big part of his life, it doesn't phase him in the slightest when you unawarly awake the deep memories of being in wizards pre-school for him.

Says good morning to you back, adding a teacher honorific at the end for the sake of being playful while asking if you've finally graded the homework he handed in.

He gives you an apple occasionally. He thinks he is very hilarious.

Shadowheart

She freezes in awkwardness whenever it happens, not sure if you’re being serious or just playing around. Sometimes, you don't even register slipping up as go on with your day, leaving her wondering if she's imagining things.

She has zero experience with the school system, completely confused by the need to say thank you for carriage after it arrived. It's just a carriage, why should she?

One time while her and Laezel were arguing, you used the same call you'd use in the classroom to get the kids to quiet down and it completely caught them both off guard. They just stood there baffled, forgetting their original argument.

Laezel

Why, yes, she is very familiar with teachers. In fact, she was the best out of her class, ask any githyanki teacher, and they'd tell you endless praise about her throat cutting techniques and sword welding stances.

You, whoever, use very unusual teaching techniques. How would learning a song about washing your hand and brushing your teeth help her in slaying her enemies?

Intriguing, so you take advantage of the brain's tendency to latch on to phrases that rhyme, which makes them easier to remember? And you encode your melodies with instructions to embed them into the impressionable youth?

Huh. She actually is impressed. She made her decision, you will lend your teaching skills to help her embed the most effect way of fracturing someone's spine into a melody to spread to the githyanki children.

Wyll

As someone who has been an unofficial teacher for so many kids throughout his years, he can relate to your struggle a lot. He slips up more than he cares to admit.

The both of you meeting early in the morning while still groggy and tired, your brains working on automatic mods as you greet each other with the same high pitched enthusiastic voice you use to greet a toddler.

Then just stare at each other, complete understanding between the two of you. Like two people accidentally using their customer service voice in front of the other.

You struggle to tie your boots once, and he unconsciously bends down to tie them for you while using the rabbit loop euphemism, only to stop in his tracks as he realises what he's doing.

He uses a curse word once, and you immediately use your teachers voice and say, "we don't speak like that here, that's wasn't very nice."

You're both tired, you both need a nap and neither of you brings it up when the other slips.

Karlach

Much like Gale, she finds it extremely amusing. Top tier comedy to her. Unlike Gale, she hasn't been to any proper schooling system, so she doesn't exactly know what most of these phrases mean or imply.

In a way, it lets her pretend she was a part of something like a school in her youth, like she could've had a normal childhood like everyone else.

She'd indulge you, saying goodbye and thank you to the pigeon that delivered her a letter, or overhearing Wyll's rabbit loop ryhme and whispering it under her breath as she ties her own boots. Who knew this could've been so easy?

Astarion

You remind him of how Leon was with his daughter back in Cazador's manor. Astarion never was close with any of them, but still, he sometimes overheard him attempting to give his daughter a semblance of a normal childhood and growth.

It's endearing when you accidentally use your teaching ways while dealing with the owlbear cub, but he'll never admit it.

Doesn't indulge you with it, he has appearance to keep. Well, unless he has a chance to twist your innocent meaning words into a sex or gorey joke like the 12y old humour that he has.

Ah, the scrowl on your face is the exact same one Leon had around him, such fond memories.

Halsin

Ah, you bring him back to his old days of having to deal with the children at the grove. Although his methods focused more on showing them that nature is a friend rather than inanimate objects.

But who is he to judge your ways? If anything he could learn a thing or two from you to add to his skillset.

Tells you about the fables that were passed down from elf to elf throughout the generations, animal stories have always done a great part in teaching him morality.

Do you happen to have any? Maybe you could tell it to the children of the grove, they are good kids.

Minthara

As a noble, she was only given the best and most prestigious of teachers while growing up. Even the ones that weren't a drow would still be considered the best of the best, crème de la crème.

Yet not a single one of them applied such...childish methods. etiquette and discipline were taught by the lash and threat of punishment, not lullabies and gentle guidance.

....it's not as bad as she imagined.

She doesn't get why some of your companions find it amusing. She doesn't bother indulging either.

But sometimes, sometimes, when it's just the two of you, and she is sure not a single soul is around, she will reply with a pun with the most deadpan face expression you've seen.

Jaheira

Despite what most would think, she actually integrated the same methods into her teachings back when her kids were little, it just happened to be weaved with her more dangerous lifestyle ascept.

Here comes the plane, with the airplane usual holding a good dosage amount of poison to build resistance.

A short rhyme about what to check before leaving the house, except the list has a suspicious amount of daggers and trap disarm kits in it.

If it works, it works, so what if she had to alter a kid's book about a honey loving yellow bear into one with decipherable texts to teach them Harpers' secret communication language.

Minsc

Ah! Boo does use the same method on him sometimes, the two of you have a lot in common. Although Boo's methods do involve a bit of biting every now and then.

Say, how about he teaches you some fables from Rashemen, a lot of them are about a rabbit who got lost after not listening to his witch frog companion.

You could use it in your teachings later! Show the youth the importance of good teamwork. Yes, he is aware of the fact he didn't listen to Jaheira and got captured by the cult. No, he doesn't see why this is relevant? Why is Boo suddenly agreeing with you? He is supposed to be on his side.