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#both their childhoods were sites of pain and both of them found something with each other
topnotchquark · 2 months
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Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.
Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.
And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.
But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.
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cloudedmist · 1 year
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Found a correlation and a lesson learnt
I rebooked my life since last night… yes couldn’t sleep again. All the hurt pent up in me. I may be innocent. I know that.. but the police do not, the lawyers do not. But before I die, I want to at least make things clear. So my soul leaves this earth knowing I have done my best and should have no regrets at all. 1. My intention and hopes I had a tough childhood. No toys, going through a long dumb 3 page terms and condition sheet just to own a handphone, every study on the computer would be pounded as “playing game” on computer. Even since primary school, in primary 1, my Chinese teacher threw a lie about me, just because my parents happened to be on-site and around the vicinity, and she saw them going past the class. Even in sec 4, as I shared earlier before, Marc Lee threw a paper ball at me during teacher greeting, I picked up the ball, and placed it back on the table, and that movement caused the teacher to scold me in class. Marc added on a playful lie, shouting “he was throwing paper ball at me”, and Mrs Low the physics teacher believed him and scolded me further. After school, I was at the staff room looking for another teacher, when Mrs Low opened the staff room door. Looking at me, she commented loudly… this boy is very naughty… during my class, he was throwing paper ball at his classmate. All these hurt, I kept to myself, as in all matters of pain and hurt… How has this shaped my life? Since young, my intention was to build up the young and to help them as much as possible, so none of them would have to face the pain I faced - that is, not being able to afford little things they like in life, not being trusted when others lie about them, not having proper support because everyone would blame them for things they didn’t do. This remained consistent through the years, and that is why I invested most of my finance to helping people I meet in life. What was my hope then? Beyond helping them, my hope was to create a community that gives back. To help others, and to help support each other, in business, future, life. In analogy, to create a spring board that will help others accelerate in strength and gain a strong future, so they can turn back and give back to society, and me. Following this, one can now understand why I would wake at 430am/5am, just to go down to wake people up to get to school on time, fetch them to school, direct them to study, spend time teaching them in every subject I could possible, cooking for them good food, teaching them what their mindset should be moving forward… Today, I also realise that people are selfish. Yes I know many people told me this before… but i refused to believe. I always thought… if you help someone, why would the person just go off leaving you behind? Just didn’t make sense to me. Well.. now I know.. they will, because their new found wings give them courage to face new challenges, and this includes new interest and activities, and these activities and interest, very often, cannot be known from young, because the just pop up in one’s life, and it forms as a new interest. This is why friends make and break consistently through life… People switch interest, and mix with new friends who have that set of new found interest. They do it until they get tired chasing new interests, and having to spend years learning something new, and not getting good at any particular interest.
2. Types of allegation thrown
On my first hit, I thought of the question… But i had no way to confirm. But over time, I realise a pattern can be constructed.
The question is… why do people use sexual issues as an allegation? Simply put, 2 reasons… a) because it is the only way to get someone in deep shit. What else can get someone in equal crap? - Drugs, but it is much harder to prove. And if the police checks the CCTV communication with Callistar Chen Zhi Bin’s mother, they will know, she used both methods to try to take me down. First she tried convincing them that chocolate dip sticks were drugs. The police plied the bag and then told her it was not. Then she changed her story and said I had sexual misconduct and raped her child - back then the not yet brain washed or not yet innate liar Callistar Chen Zhi Bin told the police, nothing of this sort had happened. She then told the whole family that she found a 6 inch pubic hair in her room, and that it must have been mine. (And this happened when she locked her room door everyday so Callistar Chen Zhi Bin could only live in the living room or other side room adjacent to the main room). All these lies must have mounted over the years in the vile mind of Callistar Chen Zhi Bin, and when an NPD’s/YPS age strikes, the character and mind takes a sudden extreme turn. They wake up entirely different, and they wake up with a set mind to be above others, and to win others. This has happened so many times. This also explains why Callistar Chen Zhi Bin’s friends would attack him day and night i hate. Back then, I couldn’t understand why. I supported him regardless (reason explained in part 1). I supported him, and trusted him when he said he didnt do anything wrong. Today, on looking back, I believe he was engulfed in all sorts of wrong, and that was why his friends hated him - From primary school to secondary school.
b) It is an allegation used by all, if not most, divorced parent. I noticed this over time. I’ve taught many people in life. Most are still friends till today. Some in NS, some in poly, some in sec school, some in pri school. And all these come from complete families. Families who have a father, and a mother, and these parents do care about their children (not the kind who just ignores what their children do). That is what I figured after much thinking. Nonetheless, it also helps me to understand a question I had always pondered about since young… Why would people come together to divorce? Which came first? Bad character or divorce - did people who have bad lying character end up in divorce? Or did divorce turn them to liars to survive?
My experience and answer is… Divorce people have genes which they pass down to the next generation. (This is why once 13, Callistar Chen Zhi Bin instinctively told me he just wanted to punch something or someone. It felt irritable and heating inside that he could not hit something). I also notice that divorce children tend to elicit NPD behaviours. I once also read that there was no conclusion, but researches did note a correlation between children from divorced families, and narcissistic behaviours. And this blows up and is more visible at the age of 14-15/some 16. Where the NPD will become aggressively manipulating, and use methods such as love bombing/acting to control the people around them. Putting this together implies to me that divorce people have bad genes, that is passed down to the next generation. The next generation repeats ill behaviours of aggressive competitiveness, lying, manipulation, and control. After time, the victim learns and finds out that they are always falling into a loop on control, and so turns mentally crazy, only seeking ways to escape the torture. So it leads to divorce. The single mum will then enjoy alimony, and often find a temple or church, because that is where they find comfort, protection, and freebies from time to time. Very often, they will tell their child how evil the father is and how everything is the father’s fault, hiding the evil truth, and convincing their child they are the great ones who should be supported financially in the future. Before the age of 14/15/16, the child is always good, more perfect than the usual child, and highly intelligent (in terms of information absorption). Once 14/15/16 hits, the child wakes up with a brain change, and starts being aggressively manipulative, a good liar, and elicit the common habits of npds/yps/piercing/tattoo/smoking/vaping. The cycle then repeats. So gene lead character created the divorce, and people see them as the poor thing ones, raining them with concern and love. The cycle continues.
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thebadboyfanclub · 4 years
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It’s Alright Darling (Sherlock x Reader)
Ok... Was this requested? No. Am I writing it cause anything Henry Cavill related makes me feel happy? Yes. Enjoy!
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Being Sherlock Holmes assistant was something a lot of people would kill for and that makes it even better if you think about the irony of it. However, since Sherlock wasn’t a normal person to mostly everything he did, he had decided to hire a woman as his assistant, Mycroft called him mad and unhinged almost every time he brought up her name. (Y/n) was one of the most intelligent people he had ever been around, combining that with a charming personality was the recipe to success.
“Well, well, well I see my brother is full of surprises”
“Hello there Mycroft is so nice to see you again as well”
She spoke in an clearly ironic tone as she took of her gloves, she was never a fan of hats other than the occasions she knew she would be under the sun for hours. As she walked in the living room area for what seemed like their childhood home, Sherlock had requested for (y/n) to arrive a day later than the brothers, knowing that her and his older brother were like oil and water he chose to “prepare the grounds” first.
“Where is the young little Holmes?”
“Inside, talking with miss Harrison”
“Alright... who is miss Harrison?”
“Miss Harrison is an excellent teacher and a friend of mine, come to think of it maybe you should go in and ask her to take you as well... you might be a bit old but I’m sure she can make an exception”
Mycroft found (y/n) intolerant, she was dismissive, unladylike, mouthy and a feminist, he still does not understand what asset do she brought to his younger brother. She only smiled while sitting at one of the chairs
“I will let you know I was an excellent student in all my academic achievements, although I suppose you were one as well that doesn’t really prove someone’s intelligence or manners, right mister Holmes?”
Sherlock let a laugh be heard at (y/n)’s quick response, even though he would never take sides and sometimes wanted them to get along, he had accepted that it would never happen and simply enjoyed the situation.
“Amused brother? Of course you are as mad as her since you didn’t only hire her, you kept her around and brought her in my home”
“Now Now mister Holmes, what type of gentleman would you be if you threaten to through out not just a lady but your younger brothers guest, unfortunately you are just further proving my point about our little quarrel”
Before he had the chance to respond a young girl walked in, wearing a white undergarment dress and looking disheveled. The girl who (y/n) could only assume was the infamous Enola didn’t even notice her being in this room.
“No, don’t do this to me. Let me remain happy, I am happy here”
“You are a young woman now Enola, you need an education”
“Test me, on anything you think I need to know in order to be sufficient for this world”
“If she taught you so well, you wouldn’t be standing in your undergarment in front of me”
Silence fell in the room for a quick second. His disgusting answer to his own sister made (Y/n) get on her feet, Enola quickly let her gaze fall on the young woman that was now in her house.
“Why is that a problem Mister Holmes? Undergarments are scandalous for the men when a woman they are interested in wears them, she is your underaged sister”
“This is a family matter, it does not- I repeat- does not concern you”
“Of course it does not concern me, but it does concern me when a young girl is being held accountable for walking in her home, to her brothers, completely covered and still being shamed for it”
Enola understood by that quick argument the lady was not here because of Mycroft, so it only meant she was Sherlocks company, she is not his wife since if not invited he would have at least informed their mother, so perhaps a girlfriend?
“Enola you have no hopes of making a husband out of your state, neither do you... miss (y/l/n)”
“I don’t want a husband”
Enola claimed, raising her voice at the ridiculous claim her brother made. Even though they haven’t been properly introduced they had developed a mutually liking for each other, at a brief look they seemed to have the same outlook on life.
“And that is another thing you need to have educated out of you”
At that Enola turned to look at her other brother, Sherlock, who had remained radio silent throughout this entire conversation. Enola kneeled in front of him, as Sherlock looked at her and then broke eye contact to look down at the book he was holding.
“Sherlock, Don’t let him do this to me”
“You are his ward”
“Make me yours. Guide me. Teach me. For him I am nuisance. For you-”
“Enola. I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands”
“Just like his cruelty to our mother was out of your hands”
Cruelty to their mother? No, Sherlock would have never allowed his mother to go through anything, he is a man of honor... isn’t he? (Y/n) felt her stomach tighten as she saw this tragic scene unravel, she hoped Sherlock would have accepted and took her in.
“She is not dangerous. She is remarkable and always has been. And if you still can’t see that then shame on you both”
“So remarkable she left you in my care”
Mycroft shot back. (Y/n) could almost feel the pain the young girl felt, you could see it in her eyes how that was an arrow straight in her heart. (Y/n) decided to step up and try to help, she approached the young girl with a kind smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here to calm down. Seems like your brothers don’t share the same love and admiration you do for the woman that made them who they are”
“I am a self made successful man”
“but you wouldn’t be no man if the woman you frown upon had not broken her hips and went through hours of painful labor. Take that as some food for thought before you school me on my manners”
Sherlock looked at her in awe, as she stood proudly next to his sister and became the shield he should have been. Standing up for a girl you haven’t even spoken to or knew before this.
“Let’s go young Enola, seems like a woman’s presence is wanted here only when she does as she is told”
-
“Come in”
“Can I open this door and be promised that I will remain safe or are you holding a dagger and you are ready to take me out of this world?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, dagger you in your own household? I would probably wait to poison you a few days after we leave and write the paperwork of you firing me”
He smiled at her plan as he closed the door in her room. It was already nightfall and the only light here were a few candles, he had let her take a breather after the unfortunate event that had occurred previously. Even though he wasn’t the one that she went toe to toe with, his silence was as obnoxious to her as his brothers loud ignorance towards the female gender.
“You are upset”
“Of course not, why would I be? It’s not like you let that man embarrass his own sibling and talk down to his mother without her being in the room”
She had remained sited in the chair next to the table, a book open that seemed like she was writing on rather than reading it. He was aware she was holding a journal, he didn’t blame her for it, having a job like she did she was in desperate need of something to keep her sane.
“This is a very wary subject”
“I am aware of it, I just can’t seem to understand why not comfort her, try to change your brothers opinion, anything that will show you care for her, you do care for her, right Sherlock?”
“She is my baby sister (y/n), that’s a given”
She closed her book. She ran her hand through her  through her hair and got up from her sit, her hands going in front of her torso at a defensive demeanor, even when Sherlock should be cold or show his higher position to her, he couldn’t help but seek some type of truce with her, how could he not? She looked so beautiful even when she mad at him, the eyes he was so caught up in looked at him with fury, her delicate feature went harsh and she was dressed more... lightly now.
“I spoke with her earlier, she was in the garden”
“I know, I saw.”
“She asked me about you, asked me if you were my lady”
Her eyes went wide for a split second before regaining her composer and turned her back to him. She approached the window before she spoke.
“If you think of how she became familiar with me, she was probably certain I wasn’t even friends with your holier than God brother”
“You mustn't be angry at me”
“And why is that?”
“Because other than my sister and mother, I care for you and for your opinion about me”
She remained silent. Not only because she was caught off guard by his comment, she also didn’t know what he was talking about. Sherlock stepped closer to her, his steps making her heart flutter and her palms sweaty. He stopped when he was right behind her, he wanted to hug her, caress her, kiss her, still he was uncertain of how she would react.
“I still remember the night you got kidnapped”
Someone that Sherlock had helped uncover had escaped prison and kidnapped her. Luckily, she was retrieved safely yet again she was still shaken up by the scary experience, when Sherlock found her awake next to the fireplace she was so vulnerable and grateful to be alive she launched at him and kissed him passionately.
He shared his bed with her, in the middle of the night though she had gotten up and left, when morning came she acted like nothing had happened, barely even looked at him in the eyes for a week.
“Please Sherlock don’t pick at my brain”
“Why did you leave that night? Did you regret it that much”
“That night... was the most blissful I have ever been.... However you are still my boss Sherlock”
“That’s all I am to you? Your boss?”
(Y/n) turned to look at him, tears welling up in her eyes. Those eyes would be the death of him, it was with no doubt the window to her soul, that pure gentle soul of hers.
“What am I to you then Sherlock? This wasn’t just about me”
“You are.... what I never knew I needed”
His hands went up to her forearms instinctively, a soft caress that made her think his hands were made out of the finest silk, she felt goosebumps as he touched her. Her lips parted slightly as she took in a heavy breath, her eyes searching for a hint of a lie in his words.
“Sherlock”
“Shhhhh, It’s alright darling. You don’t have to say anything”
At that he slowly leaned in, his lips on top of hers at a shy and gentle kiss. Her hand went to his neck, bringing her torso to touch his as the kiss deepened, her entire body felt a rush go through it as they should the passion they held for each other with this kiss. As she pulled back her fingertips traveled to his face, taking in his attractive features
“I had almost forgotten how good of a kisser you are”
“Oh love, you will never forget it ever again”
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mayans-sauce · 3 years
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Fire
Pairing: Ez Reyes x Female Reader
Word Count: 1.8K
Warnings: Angsty, fire, reader gets hurt, hint of smut, arguing but fluff at the end.
Request by @noz4a2 which you can find HERE
A/N: thanks for the request! I hope you all enjoy this <3 !No spoilers for season 3 in the writing!
Sign up HERE to join my taglist!
GROUP CHAT for updates!
Gif Credit: @sonsofeorl
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“Arsonist strikes again!” You read the article's title in the morning newspaper as you were sitting at the kitchen table eating the delicious breakfast Ez had prepared for the both of you. “Again?” Ez asked, bemused. “Yep, and this time he’s going after people with grey houses. Hmm… luckily mine is a more off-white color, so we have nothing to worry about.” “I’m surprised they haven’t caught the guy yet. Shouldn’t be so fucking hard to catch him when he’s doing it in broad daylight.” “No clue. But it seems like he’s only setting the house on fire while people aren’t in it. So he’s not after killing them; he just really likes setting shit up in flames.”
You talked about the topic for a few more minutes before you changed it to something more relevant. Your six-month anniversary, which was today, and Ez had made some secret plans for you two, which would last most of the day. “After we eat, go and get ready for our day.”
The date day had been a success. It has been one of the most fun days you’ve had in a long time with your boyfriend. You were walking home hand in hand as you processed it all. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you that quickly got interrupted by a fire truck speeding past you with its sirens on max volume. “Wonder where they are going in a rush.” Ez shrugged his shoulders at your question. You kept walking, not thinking much of it. In just a few minutes, you would be back home at your place to continue the evening, hopefully, tangled in the sheets naked. As you got closer to the house, another fire truck sped past you, and in the distance, you saw the one from earlier and the new one standing in front of your home.
“Oh shit,” you yelled out as you sprinted towards your home. “Y/N wait!” Ez was fast on your heels to catch up with you. Your house was on fire. So far, it wasn’t a big one, but it seemed to increase in size by the second. The firefighters were getting the equipment ready at the speed of lightning to put it out. “No,” you whispered in disbelief when you stood at the front and watched it burn. “Fuck,” Ez whispered as well when he saw the house up in flames.
“The box!” Panic in your body as you thought about the most valuable thing in the house that would be lost if you didn’t do anything. Not thinking straight, you sprinted as fast as you could into the house, ignoring the screaming firefighter telling you not to. “Ma’am! You can’t do that; get back here; it's not safe.” “Y/N no!” Ez felt his heartbeat in the thousands as he went in after you; flashes of white clouded his vision at the thought of something terrible happening to you.
Coughing at the smoke, you covered your nose and mouth with the neck of the shirt to breathe a little better. You felt hot from the burning walls as the fire rapidly engulfed the house. You heard Ez shout for you, and you felt bad that he ran. “Ez, I’m here!”
In the living room, in one of the cabinets, sat the box you were trying to save. Ez came to your site in just a few seconds. Panic, worry, and anger was read all over him. “Y/N, are you fucking crazy? Running into the house like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You coughed up a storm before you were able to respond. “I can’t let this box get lost, Ez. I just can’t.” As soon as you grabbed the box, he put his arm around you to lead you both out of the flames.
Just a few more steps to the door, and suddenly a piece of hot debris fell from the ceiling right on your arm, making you let out a loud “fuck” at the pain. “Shit!” He scooped you up in his arms to go before the ceiling collapsed.
The medical team on sight looked over you and him. Luckily there were only a few minor injuries, and you wouldn’t be required to go to the emergency room. “Why did you run in? Why did you risk your life for some stupid box?” He yelled at you while you and he were getting patched up. “It’s not just some stupid box, Ezekiel! It has value to me. Here,” opening the box to reveal photos and a few trinkets, “it’s pictures and stuff of my childhood, my life growing up, and us Ez. All the important things in my life are contained in this very box” You handed it over so that he could have a peek inside.
He felt terrible for screaming at you when he realized that it wasn’t just a silly box. It held all of your life in it, and maybe that was worth saving, but still, it was reckless of you to pull what you did. “I- I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry, Ez. Yes, it was very stupid of me, but I just needed to save it…”
Your eyes moved to the burnt-down house that had been put out. A slight mood of sadness came over you. It wasn’t anything significant. You had only lived in it for a year or so, so it didn’t have that much of a value to you. The clothes, the furniture, and everything inside it were replaceable, but your box of memories wasn’t, and that was the only thing that mattered to you. You thought that your house would be safe, but the arsonist had other plans. “You can stay with me if you want. As long as you need.” “Thanks, babe. I appreciate that.”
Living with Ez in the trailer had been a delight, to begin with. He wasn’t used to living with someone in such a tight space, but he didn’t mind it when it was with you. You got to see each other more often than when you lived in the house.
You had sex everywhere. On every surface, on every wall in the small trailer. It had been the most, and the best both of you had in a long time. He made you feel so good, making you scream out in ecstasy each and every time.
Most nights, you would have nightmares. Waking up in the middle of the night, panting and sweating, of memories from the fire. Ez would be up in a heartbeat to calm you down. Opening every window and door to let some air in to cool you down. He would hold you tight to him. Reassuring you that he was here and that he would never let anything happen to you.
After a while of living together in the tiny room, fights would recur regularly over small and petty things. It would be fighting over the silliest things, but because of you two living so on top of each other, it was heightened by the irritation of not having your own space. Fights could be about anything from an item being put in the wrong place to some more significant battles, like the one you were having now for the past few days.
Ez had been complaining about the amount of stuff you had bought, from clothes to even some furniture that was filling up the tiny trailer.
He understood that you were trying to get back the things you lost and fill up that hole in you, but he didn’t understand why you needed so much of it right now when you hadn’t even found a new place to stay in. You got mad at him. Angry because it felt like he was kicking you out or at least hinting to it that he didn’t want you here anymore, and you weren’t ready to move out yet. You hadn’t found anything new you could live at. He explained to you that it wasn’t true. He just wanted some fucking space to walk around his trailer. But the damage was already done, and you two weren’t on speaking terms. At night you would sleep on the separate beds in the trailer. He would already be out and about before you woke up in the morning so that none of you had to deal with one another.
You had come back to the trailer after a grocery store run, not expecting him to be home. “H-hey,” he rose from his seat at the table. Helping you with the grocery bags. You were surprised that he was talking to you but grateful that he offered to help. “Hey, thanks.” You let him take them and organize the stuff where it belonged. You stood and watched him as he put the stuff away. None of you said anything for a little while until Ez opened his mouth to talk.
“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being a dick to you.” You let out a puff of air, eyes closed as you felt terrible about him apologizing. “No, Zeke, I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. This is your place, not mine, and I’ve just been invading your home with all my shit. I’ll find a new place soon, I promise.”
“Hey,” he came to your side, grabbing your hands in his much bigger ones. He was towering over you as he looked in your eyes with his soft and sad ones. “No, I’m sorry. For making you feel that I didn’t want you here and for making you think I want you out as soon as possible. I don’t; I love you, and I love living with you, but it’s just,” he gestured with his hands to the trailer space, “it’s a lot of shit.” You chuckled as you looked down at your feet for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I know. I’m sorry. I promise that I will find something soon, and then we can go back to our more normal selves.”
“Wait,” he led you both to the table and made you sit down, “here,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you something. “I found a few houses that I think you would like, and… what if we move in together… only if you want.” “Are you serious, Ezekiel?” He gave you one nod to let you know that this is what he wanted. “Yes… I would love that, to move in with you.”
And with that, you and he scrolled through the different house options. On each one, you made up stories of what your future would look like. All the memories you and him would make in your own home. How you would live until you're old and grey and surrounded with your many beautiful grandchildren. Dying happily in your shared bed and reminiscing on your life together. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Thank you for reading❤️ a quick reblog and feedback would be so appreciated❤️ Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist.
MAYANS MC TAGLIST: @blessedboo @60shannon @bellisperennis0 @capnsaveahoe @diaryofkali @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @xvvalx @missswritings @theocatkov @pinguinstudiert @chibsytelford @encounterthepast @rawrlittlepanda-95 @beeroses @siriussnape07 @adaydreamaway08 @miss-nori85 @oldstuffnewstuff @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @jatriciaaa @browneyes912 @cole-winchester @blackksunflower12 @phoenixhalliwell @cant-decide-at-this-moment @love-mesome-me @holl2712 @jennisdirtyimagines @balladbloodwrites @lilacyennefer @smallflower16 @marvelmaree @brwnlikefoxy @kaylaygrace @stupiddsapphicc @violet624 @boomclapxox @mijop @macgruberrr @queen-under-the-shire @missihart23 @vixemi @heeeeeres-saint
EZ REYES TAGLIST: @honestlyyaya @noz4a2
GENERAL TAGLIST: @everyhowlmarksthedead @-im-fantastic- @idorkish @megantelford @witching-hour
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chilligyu · 3 years
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info: wen junhui/reader, teen+, soulmate au genre: angst, romance | word ct: 2k warnings: descriptions of injuries, scars, blood, hospitals summary: forever was a powerful word, and it was the only word he could think of when he imagined his soulmate. someone who was just as powerful as she was terrifying. because forever was a powerful word, and it scared him to no end. author's note: please read! this soulmate au deals with soulmarks in the form of injuries. once someone turns 18 their body will be marked with their soulmates scars and they will acquire all of their future injuries (i know it's a little confusing, story explains it better). if talks of scars and blood make you uncomfortable, respectfully, this fic will not be your cup of tea. thank you all!
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Forever. Never, in all of Junhui’s life, had he heard a more terrifying word. He hated the permanency of it, the idea of being stuck doing one thing, being with one person. The thought of it alone made his skin itch. He loved being able to get on a train and go absolutely anywhere, loved never being tied down, loved being free. Sometimes he didn’t even know where home was, where he’d be sleeping, and that’s when he was most happy. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he want to.
What scared him most, was what he was destined for, what forever truly meant for him. For years he was told how his life would change, how it would never be the same once he became an adult. And he believed them. No matter how much he hated it, he’d have to be delusional not to. Because he’d been watching it play out on his skin since he turned 18. He’d been watching his body pucker with scars, little nicks here and there, for the better part of four years. A thin line across the back of his hand, a surgical scar on his stomach, it was so nerve-wracking. Because he hadn’t been injured.
His soulmate had, and he was a first-hand witness.
That was the sad existence he was left with, the one he’d been running from for years. He lived in a world where everyone was covered in the injuries and scars of their soulmate. Your body wasn’t a canvas of your own life, it was the story of someone else’s. And God Junhui hated that more than anything. That his life wasn’t his own anymore and there was nothing he could do about it.
It all became real for him when he came home from school on his 18th birthday. He shouldered off his bag and was getting ready to shower when he saw the bright pink mark on his stomach. A little thing, only two inches in length, half an inch wide, almost completely negligible. At first, he was confused, then scared, and finally—mortified.
No. He said to himself as he inspected the scar. Please tell me this is a lie.
For years he stared at his own body, repulsed and confused by the injuries that kept cropping up. His friends would laugh at the little marks, claiming that his soulmate was a complete klutz. Still, he refused to acknowledge it. He didn’t care what sort of scar showed up on his body, he refused to care. He refused to think about the one person who was tied to his entire existence. No matter what they were going through. He didn’t care when the eight inch gash appeared on his arm, nor did he care when he saw the surgical scar sprawled across his knee. It was just skin, scar tissue and skin. It didn’t mean anything.
Or that’s what he tried to convince himself.
Sometimes, if the injury was bad enough, he would even feel the pain from it. One day he was walking to work, and suddenly he was struck by an intense migraine. The throbbing alone was enough to make him want to puke. The world was spinning, he could barely feel the ground underneath his feet when he caught his reflection in a store window. His eyebrow had split open, a single trickle of blood streaking his face.
What happened? He found himself wondering despite himself. Are they—are they okay?
Before that moment, he had never actually bled from one of his soulmate’s wounds. And it terrified him. He had only seen the injuries once they’d healed, meaning that the danger, and pain, was over. That little bead of blood meant—meant that this was real. That on the other side of his scars was a real person. He hated forever, he hated the word, hated the meaning, hated what he was forced to endure because fate had better plans for him.
But still, he couldn’t help but wonder. And that was harmless, right?
Going to the doctor after that was interesting, because he had to get a full body X-Ray to see what sort of damage his new body had endured. Standard protocol when you turned 18, he’d just been putting it off for as long as he could. Injuries from his soulmate's childhood were clear against the backlight, several broken bones from when they were young, or reckless, or both. Without realizing it, Junhui found himself smiling at the sight. It was sort of comforting, knowing that he’ll always have this part of someone else. That it’ll never leave him.
He gingerly touched each wound and tried to imagine the story behind them. There was this one right up his shin, very old, very faded, it reminded him of the one time he fell off his bike as a kid. Maybe he had something in common with his soulmate. Maybe they had a similar past. He had no idea, but it was fun to wonder.
For periods of time, Junhui wouldn’t accumulate any new marks, and he felt lonely. He pretended like he didn’t, he continued on as he usually did. A string of flings and drunken escapades kept him busy, but they just—they weren’t as fun anymore. Car rides with no destination, late nights underneath the stars, the things he loved most no longer held the same weight. He felt stupid, selfish, wishing for some sign of his soulmate. Because that meant that they’d have to get hurt for it to happen.
And then, he thought he lost them.
He was getting set up for a gig, plugging in his mic and laughing with the stagehands, when he felt his life flash before his eyes. Like he’d been crushed by a car. The pain was so excruciating, he was finding it hard to breathe. Collapsing to the floor, he could’ve sworn that he saw a bright light above him. Tears streaked his face, his stomach churned like the red sea—he thought he was dying. He had no idea what was going on, until—until he realized that he was fine. That his soulmate—that his soulmate might’ve—
Pulling up his shirt, he watched a deep gash form on his stomach and a deep bruise color his whole abdomen. Propping himself up onto his elbows, he instantly fell back to the ground. Looking at his arm, he noticed the swelling. He was being covered in bruises, several of his bones were broken, and he only had one thought on his mind.
I have to find them.
He managed to get to his feet, finding his right leg weaker than he remembered, and he practically sprinted out of the bar. Pulling out his phone, he started searching every news site he could think of, looking for any news of any sort of car crash. Of any sort of accident.
Every few minutes or so, he’d check to make sure that his scars were still there. That his soulmate hadn’t left him. Because that’s what everyone truly fears, and the one thing Junhui has grown to fear more than forever. When you slowly see your soulmate's scars clear up, when your skin is your own once more, it means one of two things.
Either you’ve found your soulmate, or your soulmate is dead.
Please stay alive. He found himself begging, finally catching word of a couple car accidents in the past day. He scrolled through them, scrolled through the pictures of victims, desperately trying to find them. Dozens of faces blurred past his vision, and he finally stopped at a picture of a young woman. A woman with a small scar on her chin, just like the cut Junhui got when he was a kid and banged his chin on a coffee table.
After years of denying her existence, he had finally found his soulmate. For a brief moment, he was caught in some sort of trance, completely awestruck by the person who was a permanent part of his life. She was beautiful, perfect, everything he had ever dreamed of and feared all at once. It broke his heart, knowing that it took her getting hit by a car for him to find her.
When he figured out which hospital she was taken to, he hailed a cab and paid him extra to get him there as fast as he could. As he rode, he read the article more thoroughly, reading about how she was hit by a drunk driver, how she was in critical condition, and how she was in a medically induced coma. He had to fight back tears, knowing that she might not make it.
Arriving at the hospital, he showed the front desk her picture, desperate to find her any way that he could. They confirmed that she was there, that she had just got out of surgery. They kept telling him that only family could see her, that he’d have to wait until she was out of the ICU, and a million other things that he didn’t give a damn about. He had to see her.
“She’s my soulmate.” He whispered, trying not to lose it. “Please, please, let me see her.”
Even though the nurses were conflicted, they eventually let him in. Thanking them quickly, he sprinted down the hall to her room, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t lose her. Not before she was even a part of his life. Not before he could even tell her how important she was to him. He hadn’t even met her yet, and yet if she died – then his life would be over.
He slowed down as he got closer, his heart beating in his ears. She was just a few doors down, she was so close, he could feel it deep down inside. As he stood outside her door, he tried to calm himself down, he inhaled and exhaled, attempting to stabilize the raging storm inside of him.
Mentally preparing for the worst he reached for the door handle, his entire arm shaking. He was fully aware that she wouldn’t even realize he was there, that she’d be lying catatonic in a hospital bed with tubes and wires hooked up to her. He didn’t care. It was still an important moment in his life. He was about to meet his soulmate for the first time.
Turning the handle, he felt his heart stop when he saw her. Even though the actual sight of her broke his heart, something he couldn’t explain started to stir inside of him. Like—like his entire existence led him to this point. And while that thought alone would’ve terrified him not too long ago, it now gave him a purpose to strive towards. He wouldn’t run from this.
He approached her carefully, pulling up a chair and sitting beside her. As he sat there, he watched as the little scars across his knuckles started to disappear, and saw them reappear on her. Unconsciously, he started to check on every single scar on his body, finding himself frowning as they vanished from his skin. He would’ve preferred to bare them, knowing that they wouldn’t mar her beautiful body. And he’d miss the proof that she was meant to be with him. Fate determined that they were meant to be together, and for the first time—he accepted that. Because he finally learned that alone was a far more terrifying word than forever.
“I don’t care how long it takes.” He whispered, taking her hand in his. “I’m not going anywhere.”
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capsgrl · 3 years
Text
Personal Angel
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 7,903
Summary: Bucky Barnes joins the Avengers and finds himself drawn to the teams healer, but she’s keeping a secret. Will she finally heal him of the pain he experienced at the hands of Hydra.
Warnings: angst, blood, mentions of injury (only light detail), a couple of bad language words, let me know if I should add more.
Authors note: Please find 7k+ words of Bucky needing a hug and being the soft soldier he is. Reader is a healer and younger sibling of the Maximoff twins. Set after the events of Civil War except everyone loves each other and lives in harmony, nobody goes on the run. *breaks indicate change of POV*
Also posted on ao3
Growing up in Sokovia in a time of war was no picnic, but no matter how hard things were at times your parents gave you and your older twin siblings, Wanda and Pietro, the happiest childhood they possibly could. Until they couldn’t. Until tragedy struck and they were taken away from their three young children by a man named Stark.
Being the youngest, you looked up to the twins to guide you. They were your only family now and you’d follow them anywhere. So you did, you followed straight to Hydra and experiments in a science lab. There was never any doubt in your mind, wherever your family were, that’s where you belonged.
You were given the power of healing. With the help of the mind stone you were able to heal wounds and take the pain away from the injured. The first time you demonstrated your new powers to your handlers, the whole lab rejoiced. With your help, they now had an infallible army. The whole thing didn’t sit right with you, but your siblings assured you that it was a means to an end. Stark needed to pay for what he had taken from you.
It took a lot of practice for you to hone your skills. At first you couldn’t control them, and any time you touched someone, even accidentally, you would heal. The trouble with this was in order to heal them you absorbed their pain. It was only for a brief moment, but it was concentrated like a short, sharp burst. It was intense and it drained you, but eventually you learned to control it, and only use it when you chose to.
When Wanda and Pietro took off to begin their revenge plan they took you with them, but kept you hidden, kept you safe. It was only when they realised the true nature of the man, no robot, they were working for and switched to the side of good that they brought you out of the shadows and finally introduced you to the avengers. 
You went to Sokovia, helping to evacuate people and heal the injured. It was exhausting but these people were innocent and they deserved your help. You were so busy you didn’t have time for fear, but when Wanda stepped onto the bus, the look on her face scared you more than anything ever had. Something bad had happened it was clear as day. Your fears were confirmed when you looked behind her to Clint, a lifeless Pietro in his arms.
Your world had suddenly got a little smaller, three had become two and it hurt. But you knew that whatever you were feeling was nothing compared to the pain of your sister, losing her twin, a connection that you could never understand now severed, and you did the only thing you could do in that moment. You threw your arms around her and absorbed it all, the pain, the grief, everything. It was the last thing you remembered before collapsing to the floor.
The next time you opened your eyes you were staring at the ceiling of the Avengers compound. Your new home. Wanda had assured you that it was the best place for you both and you couldn’t deny you felt more peaceful here than anywhere you’d been since you lost your parents. 
You begged your sister not to reveal how your powers worked. Steve Rogers was a good man and wouldn’t want you to put yourself out for the team, but you wanted to help. She reluctantly agreed, on the condition that you promised not to reveal that you could heal emotional pain too. It always worried her that people would come to depend on you for their emotional needs, and the kind of affect it could have on your mental state. You readily agreed, and became an official Avenger, their resident healer, but your big sister also insisted you join her training with Steve and Natasha so you could learn to defend yourself.
The team continued to grow, until one day Steve introduced you to his latest recruit and best friend, Bucky Barnes. On the outside the man looked just like he did in the old photos you’d seen, just with slightly longer hair and a few more creases around his eyes. It was looking into his eyes that really gave away the changes. You could see a lifetime of pain and suffering in them, so much so that you knew no matter how similar he looked on the outside, he couldn’t be that same man on the inside.
You couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him to carry that pain around with him, and that thought alone spurred you on to do something that you’d not done since the day you comforted your grieving sister in Sokovia. You reached out your hand to shake his, and took just a little bit of that pain away.
B—-B
When Steve had asked him to come and stay with the team at the Avengers compound, Bucky was reluctant. After everything that happened in Berlin and with Tony he felt guilty. The Stark man had assured Steve that he understood that what happened to his parents was an act of The Winter Soldier and not Bucky, but he wasn’t ready to forgive yet.  He assured Steve that it was fine for the new team to take residence in the compound, and headed back to the home he shared with Pepper, vowing to return when the time was right.
Bucky was nervous when his pal had taken him to the common room to properly introduce him to the team members he’d fought beside and against at the airport, but they all seemed really understanding. Going round shaking hands with everyone, his eyes finally landed on you. Steve introduced you as Y/N, and as you took his hand and spoke a soft ‘nice to meet you’ he felt overcome with a warm, calm feeling. A feeling he’d not felt since he was a young man before the war. It was almost like peace. Being around you made him feel lighter.
He came to learn that you were a healer, coming down to the med bag whenever Dr Cho needed your help. He found he wasn’t surprised by that at all, there seemed to be an air of calm about you that was soothing, at least to him anyway, not that he would tell anyone that. He’d barely spoken to you since he’d arrived at the compound. That first time he met you, you excused yourself quickly after shaking his hand and scurried off to your room. He couldn’t really blame you, you were probably afraid of him and wouldn’t be the first person to feel that way. There was something about you that made Bucky want to get to know you, but he was still too fragile to try to forge new relationships, relying heavily on Steve when he needed company, but spending the majority of his time alone.
The first time Bucky saw you use your powers, he was mesmerised. Steve always insisted that the team headed straight to med bat after missions for a once over even if they felt fine, which is where he found himself after returning from a trickier than expected mission with Steve and Natasha. The sound of the door behind him opening caught his attention. 
“Hey Doc, what have we got today?”, you asked as you entered the room.
“Well, Miss Romanoff here took a bullet to the arm, no major damage has been done, and the bullet has been removed, but we could use some healing here if you don’t mind,” the Doctor said barely looking up from her clipboard.
“Of course. Hold still Nat,” you warned as you gently laid your hands over the injury site causing the Black Widow to wince. When you moved your hand away a moment later, Natasha’s arm looked as good as new. It was like witnessing a miracle.
The man was shaken out of his thoughts by your voice. “Want me to fix up that shiner you got there?”, you asked, pointing to the eye that was currently swollen to the point that it wasn’t fully open.
“Uh, no it’s OK, thank you though,” he uttered quietly “the serum will have this healed up in no time.” It was the truth, the serum healed him quickly just as it did Steve, although the throbbing in his head almost made him reconsider. But someone like him didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such magic, he felt that he deserved to feel ever ounce of pain, no matter how many times his best friend tried to assure him that he didn’t.
“Well you know where I am if you change your mind.” She offered, reaching out to gently touch his forearm, and once again he felt a feeling of tranquility wash over him. It was like the warmth was spreading from the point that their skin touched, all through his body. He couldn’t stop staring at her hand, that is until she pulled it away and all but sprinted out of the door.
B—-B
You jolted awake, taking a minute to examine your surroundings before realising you were definitely still in your bed, in your room at the compound. It was the middle of the night and the sound of someone screaming had woken you. You strained to listen, and you couldn’t be sure but the screams sounded awfully like they were coming from Bucky. It was probably a nightmare you reasoned, but you decided to go check anyway, just in case. You crept down the hallway towards the sound which was indeed coming from the room belonging to the man in question. Deciding you needed to see with your own eyes that it was just a dream and not something more sinister, you gently pushed the door open and peeked in.
The sight you were met with almost broke your heart. Bucky was thrashing around, tangled in the sheets, and even in the dark you could see the wrinkled set of his brow. The dim light creeping in from the hallway illuminated the sweat covering his face, neck and the part of his chest that was peeking out from the covers. It was amazing that he hadn’t woken himself up yet you mused, but another loud wail shook you out of your thoughts. Spurring into action before you could second guess yourself, you ran lightly to his side and reached out to brush the hair from his damp forehead, and resting your fingers there as gently as you could, you began to absorb the pain. 
He visibly started to calm, the sounds stopping almost immediately and limbs slowly relaxing. You were starting to feel weak and knew that you needed to leave soon before you passed out on the floor next to his bed. You weren’t sure how you’d explain that away in the morning. When you felt like you couldn’t take anymore you pulled your hand back and stumbled back to your room, flopping onto your bed and crying yourself to sleep. The relaxed look on his face the next morning only cemented your plan in your mind. You would do everything you could to ease the nightmares for this tortured solider. A brief moment of pain was nothing compared to a whole night of reliving the worst moments of your life.
After the first few nights of creeping into the former assassins room you had managed to detect some sort of a pattern, and adjusted your sleep schedule accordingly. You didn’t dare tell Wanda what you were doing. You knew she didn’t approve of you using your power to emotionally heal people, further supported by the lecture you got when you’d tried to take her grief after Pietro died. The red head would be absolutely furious with you. 
You were exhausted from the late night healing sessions and were worried people would start noticing the bags under your eyes. You’d not done this much emotional healing before but it was worth it to see how much more relaxed Bucky was looking, and you weren’t the only one to notice, judging by the conversation you were listening in on in the kitchen that morning.
“Hey bud, you’re looking really well rested lately, have the nightmares finally stopped?”, Steve asked as he grabbed a water from the fridge, cooling off from his morning work out. 
“No, I don’t think they ever will to be honest. But they feel different now, duller if that makes sense? I dunno, I can’t explain it, but they don’t seem to wake me up anymore. I’ve not slept this well in decades.” He chuckled in response, following the man out of the kitchen.
You hid your smile behind your coffee cup before taking a sip and turning back to your breakfast but you could feel your sister's eyes on you, staring a hole into the side of your head. 
“Can I help you?”, you asked with exaggerated sweetness like only an annoying little sister could. You didn’t dare look at her though.
“I know what you’re doing.” She stated matter of factly.
“Hey, we had a deal, no looking in my mind without my permission”, you hissed at her angrily.
“I didn’t. I’ve seen you go into his room at night. You’re either healing his pain or fucking him,” she said with a raised eyebrow before smirking and adding “although both can have the same relaxing affect”. 
“I am not fucking him and please keep your voice down”, you whisper shouted. You thought you were being careful and suddenly panicked that someone else might have seen. 
“Why Y/N? You don’t even really know him so why are you risking your own health to fix his?”, your sister asked gently. She didn’t seem angry, just confused. 
“I don’t know. I just couldn’t bear the amount of pain I saw in his eyes the first time we met. Everything that happened to him, a lifetime of pain. I wanted to take it away, he doesn’t deserve it. And I know it’s exhausting and it’s not good for me blah blah blah but I can’t help it. I can’t stop myself.” You finished your rant by slumping back in your chair in defeat, your eyes staring at the ceiling. 
Of all things you expected Wanda to say, or possibly even yell, the last thing you expected was a quiet “Does he know?”. You shook your head and she sat silent for a moment, contemplating before adding “maybe you should get to know him. You know, make friends. You might find you can help him without using your powers.”
B—-B
Bucky sat on the quinjet waiting to take off for the next mission and couldn’t help feeling nervous. He’d been sleeping so well at the compound lately, but this mission would mean staying away for a few days and he was worried about his nightmares coming back when he was possibly sharing a room with his team mates. The only thing giving him comfort this time was that Y/N was joining the team. Steve had asked you to accompany them as the mission was expected to last a few days, and Bucky couldn't stop himself from smiling when he heard the news. Despite the fact that he’d hardly got to know you yet, your presence relaxed him more than he could explain. 
He must have been staring at you this whole time because the sounds of Steve clearing his throat broke him out of his reverie. Bucky turned to look at his friend and was met with a knowing look. “Go talk to her,” he encouraged. But he wasn’t feeling brave enough for that, and he didn’t even know what he’d say, so he just rolled his eyes and got to work sharpening his knives.
The mission had been a hard one, they were going to infiltrate three suspected Hydra bases and take them down, and it affected Bucky much more than he would care to admit. It didn’t help that he'd slept so poorly in the little basic rooms they’d stopped at in between. He thought logically that he’d sleep better sharing a room with his best friend, having the comfort of another person there, not being alone, but he didn’t. The nightmares plagued him again, worse than they’d been in a long time. 
He was agitated, he just wanted to get back to the only place he seemed to be able to sleep, and maybe sleep for a week. He sat leaning forward, elbows leaning on his knees, leg bouncing up and down, and was surprised when you sat down next to him. 
“Wanna talk about it?”, you whispered. His head whipped around to you so fast he's surprised his neck didn’t break. You must have noticed the stunned look on his face, because you quickly added “sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I just uh, I figured that this particular mission might have been harder for you than usual. I’m sorry again.” You looked away then, and Bucky was worried you were going to leave. He liked it when you were nearby, so he blurted out the first thing that came into his head “It was”. You looked at him again, this time with sadder eyes. It felt like you were reading his mind, but he was sure you didn’t have that power. “I’m not ready to talk about it, I’m sorry, but thank you. For asking I mean. I appreciate it.”
“I understand. But if you do ever want to talk, about anything, I’m a great listener.” You reached out then, placing your hand in his bouncing knee to stop the movement and he felt it, that familiar warmth spreading from where you touched him, through his whole body, relaxing him. He couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his cheeks, it was like it was involuntary. He turned to look at you then, and you were smiling right back, a soft warm smile. You were so close that he could smell your shampoo and it was intoxicating. Your eyes fluttered slightly and he looked down at your lips. He didn’t even know you but he was suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss you. 
Unfortunately, the moment was broken by a voice that never failed to irritate the super soldier. “Quit making eyes with Y/N man. We need you up front.” 
“Coming Wilson,” he sighed as he turned and watched you all but run away. You slept the rest of the flight home. 
Once the jet landed, Bucky went straight to his room to shower and nap. Feeling much more human now, he ventured to the kitchen for food where he once again saw Sam.
“So you and Y/N huh,” he smirked, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter next to where Bucky was working on a sandwich. “Sorry if I interrupted a moment there. She’s a sweet girl though, I think she’d be good for you.”
Despite his usual irritation with the man, Bucky found that he was actually a really good person to talk to, his experience with social work meaning he often had useful advice. “I like her,” he admitted. “I can’t explain it, I just feel better when she’s around, but I don’t know how to talk to her. One minute I think she wants to talk and then she runs away from me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“Well, you are an intense dude”, Sam laughed. “Seriously though, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just talk to her, keep it light, ‘hey how’s it going”, you know that sort of thing.” 
Bucky was about to respond when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Wanda in the doorway, and he could feel his cheeks heat up at being caught talking about her sister. “We need to talk” she stated, in a tone that caused Sam to grab his food and scarper with a quiet good luck on his way out.
“Wanda, I’m not sure how much you heard but…” Bucky started, but was quickly cut off by the red heads raised hand. 
“There’s something you don’t know about Y/N. Healing physical injuries isn’t the only power she has, she can also take away emotional pain.”
Bucky was stunned and couldn’t seem to form a more comprehensive response than “wow, I didn’t know”.
“Nobody knows except me, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. When she takes the emotional pain away, she absorbs it, and I don’t want her to become an emotional crutch for anyone, I’m afraid that it will affect her mental state negatively. I know the team would never intentionally hurt her, but I can’t risk it. You understand right?”
“Of course, I won’t tell a soul. But why are you telling me this, aren’t you worried I’ll do just that?” Bucky questioned.
“You already are, you just don’t know it”, Wanda quipped. “She’s been healing you. At night when she hears you having nightmares she comes in and takes the pain away. All it takes is a touch, and I suspect she might be doing it at other times too, although I couldn’t be sure”.
Suddenly everything makes sense now. Why he always felt better in your presence. He thought you were just a tactile person but all those gentle touches that warmed his heart were times you were healing him. You were the reason he was sleeping so soundly at night. 
“I swear I had no idea Wanda, you gotta believe me”, he pleaded. 
“I do, I think. But I just wanted you to know, because everytime she takes your pain away, she feels it. Only for a moment, but the worse the pain for the person, the more intensely she feels it. It’s really draining her, and I don’t want to begrudge you the comfort but she’s my sister and I’m worried”.
Bucky felt absolutely awful. He’d never want to inflict his pain on anyone else, even for a moment, especially not someone as good as you. Someone who helped him so selflessly. It was his cross to bear, he made his bed and he intended to lie in it. Cold and alone. “I won’t let her do it anymore”, he swore to Wanda before leaving her alone in the kitchen with his sandwich. He’d suddenly lost his appetite. 
B—-B
Things had been weird since your first mission, you could feel it. Bucky had been avoiding you like the plague, and you felt terrible. You’d wanted to get to know him, to try to be friends like Wanda suggested, but you’d gone about it the wrong way and clearly upset him. He’d even taken to locking his bedroom door at night preventing you from soothing his nightmares. You were sure he wasn’t sleeping again, but you’d not seen so much as a glimpse of him in weeks so couldn’t verify that. 
Why would he lock his door at night? The bedrooms were in a secure floor so there was no danger of intruders and FRIDAY would alert you all anyway. Then it struck you. Did he know? Had he found out that you’d be coming in his room at night to heal him? There’s no way he could know surely, unless someone had told him. Just then Wanda came into the common room and plopped herself down on the couch next to you, and you remembered how protective your big sister could be.
“I’ve not seen Bucky around recently, have you spoken to him at all?”, you asked nonchalantly. “Nope,” was all the answer you got. 
“You sure about that?”, you pressed, giving her your best sister stare down. The look on her face told you everything you needed to know. “Wanda! How could you? Jesus he must be so mad at me, no wonder he’s not speaking to me”, you shouted incredulously. 
“I’m sorry, but I was worried about what you were doing to yourself. You're my baby sister and I love you. If you wouldn’t listen to me I thought you might listen to him.”
“We’ll he’s not even speaking to me now so that was a big fail sis, well done,” you seethed. At that moment Steve and Sam walked in.
“Oh I wondered why tin man’s been so mopey lately, lovers quarrel?” Sam questioned teasingly. Steve elbowed him in the side lightly and pointed down the corridor. “He’s in the gym,” the soldier added by way of explanation. 
As soon as you reached the gym you could see how tired Bucky looked through the glass door. His eyes were dark and heavy, his eyebrows turned down and his hits weren’t landing on the punch bag with their usual impact. 
You stepped in quietly, then thought better of sneaking up on a super soldier and cleared your throat. “Hi Bucky, can we talk a minute?”
The man looked up and then tiredly gestured to the bench at the side of the room where his bag was sat. He sat down and started unwrapping his flesh hand. He was obviously waiting for you to speak first so you took a deep breath to steady yourself and started.
“Firstly, I just wanted to apologise. I know that Wanda told you about me, uh, you know…” you trailed off. God this was embarrassing. “I’m so sorry. I realise that was a total violation of your privacy and also really creepy, but I promise you it was coming from a good place. I was trying to help not, you know, be a peeping Tom or anything.” You blushed at that, remembered the times you’d seen his beautiful chiselled pecs, and those gorgeous biceps and powerful thighs whenever they poked out of the covers. He didn’t need to know about those thoughts.
He chuckled at that and you felt yourself relax slightly. “Trust me, that is one of the least creepy things that’s happened to me in my 100 odd years, doll. Apology accepted”.  You couldn’t help but chuckle back.
“Well thank you. I assume that's the reason you’ve been avoiding me?” You questioned nervously. When he shook his head your heart sank. Did you do something else? Then it hit you. “Of course me healing you without your consent is equally as weird, so again I apologise. I just wanted to help but I can see that I probably went about it all wrong.”
Bucky shook his head vehemently then. “God no, you think I’m mad at you? How could I be mad at you, you’ve got a heart of gold and you have helped me so much since Steve brought me here. Honestly, I don’t think I’d have felt so comfortable here if it hadn’t been for you. I could never understand why I always felt so at peace around a near stranger, but as soon as Wanda explained your powers to me it all made sense. But I would never want to hurt you Y/N, and the thought of you taking on just a fraction of this pain made me feel awful. You don’t deserve that and me avoiding you was just me trying to protect you.”
You were relieved at his confession. He wasn’t mad. You sighed and relaxed fully leaning back against the wall. “I promise you it’s not that bad.  Most of the time. It only lasts for a moment, and sometimes if it’s only mild pain I barely even feel it. Like when I heeled Steve’s bruised ribs on that overnight because he couldn’t sleep. I hardly even flinched,” you said bumping your shoulder with his. “But if you don’t want me to do it anymore, I promise I won’t.” 
“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me. More than you could know. But I think it’s about time I tried to overcome these demons on my own.” You nodded at that. He had a point, you had become a crutch without him even knowing. You got up to leave when he grabbed your hand to stop you. “If I’m doing this, I think I’m gonna need a friend. What do ya say?” He asked, looking up at you with a hopeful grin. 
“I’d love to be your friend”, you replied. If you couldn’t help him with your power, offering moral support would be the next best thing. 
B—-B
The months after your talk in the gym had been the best in Bucky’s long life. You’d really started to relax around him, the conversations came easy, both when you were all with the team and if you were hanging out alone.
It was the times that you hung out alone he enjoyed the most. He could really be himself then, without worrying about knowing looks from Steve and Sam, or worrying whether Wanda was going to try and read his mind to find out his intentions with her sister. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to confront those feelings himself. He told himself that he just wanted to get to know you, but deep in his heart he knew that he was falling for you. 
You laughed together, he told you stories about life in the 30s and 40s, his family, a young pre-serum Steve, and anything else you wanted to know. In turn you taught him all about modern technology, helped him pick out some more modern day clothes and even took him to get a haircut. He couldn’t help but notice the way you stared for a little too long when he came out with his hair cropped shorter, before nodding that you liked it. 
The nightmares were back and almost as aggressive as before, but when he walked out into the kitchen one night to make himself a tea and found Y/N sat there waiting for him with one already made, he found himself opening up to you. He’d never tell you all the gory details that plagued his mind at night, but even revealing just a little bit of those late night visions and the feelings that followed, made him feel better. You never judged, just listened, and not even the thought that Sam was right about how he should talk about his feelings more could diminish that safe feeling he had with you. 
You’d even started touching him again, completely innocent touches like leaning your head on his shoulder, linking your hand through his arm when you were walking around town, but still sending a warmth through his body like you were healing him. And maybe you were healing him, he thought, just without using your powers. 
Steve and Sam had been bugging him for a while to ask you out properly, but for some reason today when they started their usual post run chorus of ‘when are you going to ask Y/N out’, he was feeling bold and said he’d do it today.
So that’s where he found himself an hour later, after showering, changing and pacing circles in his room to try and gain back some of the quickly waning courage. He knocked on your door and waited nervously. You answered and invited him in, and he mentally chastised himself for not bringing flowers. He was nervous, but decided to just suck it up and power through. 
“Hey doll, uh I just wanted to ask, see I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you these last few months, more than I’ve enjoyed anything in a really long time.” He was messing this up he knew it, and you were just stood there staring at him and not speaking. The young Bucky from the 40s who was charming and good with the ladies mentally kicked him to get on with it. He could do this. So he continued. “So I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with some time.” He finally let out a breath and tried to relax whilst he waited for your response.
“Like a date?”, you asked and you looked shocked and he panicked, thinking he’d got all the signs wrong and wondering how he could back track when you smiled and said “I’d love to go out for dinner with you, definitely as a date. I honestly thought you’d never ask, like ever.”
Bucky finally relaxed at that. You said yes, you wanted to go out with him. He didn’t think he could be any happier right now. “Good. Great! I’m going on a mission with Steve and Sam tomorrow so how’s Friday night?”
“Perfect”, you smiled and he honestly didn’t think he’d ever get over seeing you smile at him like that. He was head over heels.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d agree, so I didn’t actually come up with a plan. I’ll text you OK?” He assured you as he backed out the door, wanting to keep looking at you as long as he could. When he got through the doorway he stopped, still smiling like an idiot. You walked up to the door, stood up on your tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. “I can’t wait Buck”, you whispered as you stepped back and shut the door. 
B—-B
The short 2 day mission turned out to be the next big bad, and the three men had ended up having to radio in for back up. It was going to be all hands on deck, which meant that when the second quinjet arrived you were on it. Wanda had asked you to stay behind but you wanted to help, and especially wanted to be there in case a certain someone needed you. 
You were out in the field helping get innocent bystanders to safety and healing up the Avengers so they could get back into the fight. You could feel it taking a toll on your body, your steps becoming more slow and sluggish as time went on. After getting a young family to safety you turned to head back to the next victim needing help when you saw what appeared to be an axe flung in your direction. You froze, your brain tired from all the healing you’d done and not thinking fast enough. 
What you weren’t prepared for was the shove you felt at your side, sending you toppling to the ground. You scrambled up to see the sight of Bucky, laying on the ground at your feet, the weapon in question lodged firmly in his stomach. 
“No no no, Bucky what did you do?!” You screamed as you dropped to your knees to assess the damage. Steve and Wanda were at your side in an instant, the rest of the team continuing the fight around you. You felt panicked, terrified of the sight in front of you as the blood flowed out of the wound and over your hands at a steady rate. You knew exactly what you needed to do, and you needed to do it now before it was too late and the blood loss became too much.
Taking in a big breath you steeled yourself and started giving out orders. “Steve, I need you to remove the axe, and Wanda, you need to put up a shield to protect us from further damage while I heal him. Ok, on three guys, one…” but before you could count any further the man in question croaked out your name. “Doll please, it’s OK, just let me go. I’m old, it’s my time.” 
The fact that he would even suggest such a thing made you livid. “Bucky, how could you say that? You saved me, so now I’m going to save you and we don’t have time to argue this,” you shouted as your knees started to become damp with his blood. 
“C’mon Buck, let her do it. She does it all the time, no big deal right,” Steve encouraged, clapping you in the shoulder whilst you nodded your head in agreement.
Wanda rested her hand gently on your shoulder then, an action that you were sure was meant to soothe, but only irritated you as you knew exactly what was coming. “You’ve never healed a wound this severe before, you don’t know what it will do to you.” 
At Steve’s confused look your sister began a quick explanation on how your powers truly worked but you drowned the conversation out as Bucky weakly reached a hand up to your face. “Please Y/N,” he begged, “I don’t wanna hurt you, I love you. Just let me go.” But hearing those three words, from the man you loved, a man who was fading in front of you, just further cemented your decision in your mind. Looking at the Captain beside you, you whispered “Steve, please” and you knew you had him. He nodded grimly and on the count of three he lifted the axe, and you replaced it with your hands.
As you placed your hands over the oozing wound, you tried to concentrate everything you had into the prone man’s body, every ounce of love and every morsel of strength you had left in you. You sent a silent prayer up to heaven that you’d get to tell this man you loved him too and share your first kiss. You could feel your body weakening, and were vaguely aware that the steady flow over your hands seemed to be slowing, but you couldn’t hold it much longer, and you hoped it would be enough. Suddenly the overwhelming urge to sleep invaded your senses and you collapsed right there on top of Bucky’s chest.
You awoke to the sound of beeping. Your eyelids felt heavy and it took a few moments for you to blink them fully open, but when you finally did you were greeted by the sight of your older sister.
“Oh god, I’m so relieved you’re awake!” She cried brushing your hair off of your forehead in a motherly gesture. 
“Bucky,” you managed to croak out through your dry mouth. Wanda handed you a sip of water before answering. “He’s fine. He’s currently receiving blood to replace what he lost but you did it, you healed him. Dr Cho called it a miracle.” 
“Oh thank god,” you sighed “and the battle?” 
“We won,” your sister informed you “and you young lady are going to be fine. The doc ran extensive tests and seems to think that you just kind of passed out from the pain, and then went into a deep sleep from the shock. But it could have been much worse, you need to be more careful.”
“In this line of work?” You joked, causing her to roll eyes. “When can I get out of here?” 
At that moment, your Captain stepped into the room. “The doctor will be in to give you a once over in a moment, then you’re good to go,” he informed you. “I was just wondering if I could have a moment?” He asked tentatively. Your sister excused herself and left the two of you alone. 
Steve sat down in the now empty chair. He looked tired, and you guessed he must have been sat by Bucky’s side for a good while. You were glad he had someone there. 
“I wanted to thank you Y/N,” he started. “If you hadn’t been there, I would have lost my best friend all over again. The fact that it caused you so much hurt to heal him, well that is something I can never repay. I feel terrible for letting you do it, it was selfish of me.” He looked so guilty that it made you sad. 
“I was going to do it anyway Steve, whether you agreed or not. There’s just no way I could have sat there and let him go.” You could feel the tears welling in your eyes at the thought of things ending before they’d even really started.
You knew Steve understood, after everything he’d been through to get his friend back he knew exactly how you felt. “Well I’m extremely grateful for that stubborn streak of yours, but now that Wanda’s filled me in on all the facts surrounding your gift we’re going to have to have a conversation about some new work protocols,” the man scolded, his captain's voice firmly back. Clearly reading the sense of dread in your face he added, “but now we have more pressing matters. There’s someone down the hall that’s desperate to see you.”
B—-B
Bucky was fed up. He hated hospitals, he’d spent far too many years of his life being poked and prodded and he was done with it. He’d laid in this bed for 2 days waiting for you to wake up and he couldn’t help but replay the last time he saw you in his mind.
He was laying on the ground, a pain searing through his stomach, when suddenly he felt a familiar warmth. A warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time, spreading from the wound throughout his whole body. This time though, the feeling was different, it was more somehow. He’d never really believed in god, or any kind of divine being, not after everything that happened to him in the past. But that feeling, he could only imagine it was how it would feel to be touched by an angel. Suddenly the pain was gone but he could still feel a heavy weight on his chest. He looked down to discover the weight he was feeling was you.
Bile had risen in this throat when he realised what had happened. Y/N had healed him, hurting yourself in the process. Wanda was shaking you, trying to wake you. Steve was checking your pulse, assuring the redhead that it was still very much there. He lifted you off Bucky’s chest, and carried you quickly to the quinjet. Wanda helped the injured soldier up and to the jet too, where he sat next to you holding your hand until Steve landed back at the compound, the medics ready to greet you all straight from the ramp. 
Bucky hadn’t seen you since they’d whisked you away for testing. They’d taken him to a separate room where he was given blood to make up for what he’d lost on the battlefield. He kept asking if you were OK and if he could see you, but was told to stay put until they knew more. 
As he laid there with his eyes closed his thoughts were interrupted by footsteps, followed by Steve’s voice. “You have a visitor,” he announced simply. 
Bucky sighed, not feeling up for visitors at the moment. “If it’s bird brain again tell him I’m dead” he grouched. Not hearing the comeback he was expecting from his sharp tongued friend, he opened his eyes, and almost pinched himself to check if he was dreaming. 
“You’re awake, oh god doll are you ok?” He asked, trying to get out of bed and go to you, forgetting about his IV and the other wires connected to him. 
“Stay put,” you said rushing towards him, gently pushing him back into the bed. “I’m fine, just had a nice long sleep.”
“You scared the shit outta me. I told you to let me go. My life is not worth more than yours.” Suddenly aware that his fear could be mistaken for anger he softened his voice. “But thank you. I owe you everything.”
You just smiled back at him that beautiful smile he worried he’d never see again. “Actually, you just owe me a date.” You reached out your hand to hold his and he couldn’t resist placing a kiss in your knuckles. “As soon as I’m all fixed up and out of here, I’m all yours.” And he was. He knew now that he would only ever be yours for as long as you’d have him. 
You stayed and chatted with him a while longer, never letting go of his hand, but after a while he could see your eyes falling. “Go home doll, you need your rest,” he tried to encourage.
“I am tired but I just don’t want to go,” you pouted.
“Well, you could hop up here and take a nap next to me. It’s a small bed though we might have to snuggle real close”, he suggested with his most charming smile.
“Sounds perfect,” you smiled sleepily. You took off your shoes and climbed up in the bed next to him. He lifted the blanket for you to slip under, and you immediately rested your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around to hold you close. He thought you’d fallen asleep, and he laid there watching your steady breaths until you spoke again. “When I was healing you, all I could think about was the fact that I’d never told you I loved you and I’d never kissed you, and I knew that if I never saw you again it would be my biggest regret. So I’m telling you now. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he whispered before leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss that he’d been dying for since he met you. Your lips were so soft, and your body felt so warm and so right pressed against him. The kiss started out slow and loving, Bucky pouring all the love he felt into it, but when you slipped your hand up to gently tug on the hair at the nape of his neck and deepening the kiss, things got a bit more heated. The sound you made when your tongues finally met was almost enough to make him lose control and he slid his hand down from where it was stroking your lower back over your hip and down to your thigh. He was just about to pull your leg up and over his so he could show you just how much you were affecting him when you were interrupted by an alarm. You pulled back, panic on your face and he couldn’t help but laugh. “You just got my heart racing,” he teased, nodding at the heart rate monitor that was slowly calming back down.
You laughed then and gently shoved his shoulder. You were now both lying on your sides facing each other. “Well, that’s one item ticked off the bucket list,” you quipped, before leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. “To be continued,” you joked as you wiggled your eyebrows, “now let’s sleep.”
As you both snuggled back down in the tiny hospital bed, Bucky kissed the top of your hair and whispered quietly “goodnight angel.” He would never admit it to anyone but he’d missed the feeling of you healing him, the warm feeling that engulfed him when your power flowed through him was like nothing he’d ever felt before, he could understand why Wanda was concerned that people would come to rely on it too much.
But as you laid there asleep in his arms a different kind of warmth enveloped him, and as he slipped off into a restful sleep he realised that he didn’t need your powers to heal him, your love was enough, his personal angel. 
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yeojaa · 4 years
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( ROSERAIE. )
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What you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you two apart.  It was your love that would be your demise.  
pairing.  jjk x f!reader.
genre + rating.   my take on a hanahaki!au.  pretty heavy on the angst.  general.
tags / warnings.  mention of minor character death, breaking up, soulmates, angst, unrequited love, sick character (hanahaki), bittersweet, non-idol.
wc.  3.2k
beta reader(s).  my forever queens, @hobi-gif​ @snackhobi​!  you both bring such hope and joy (hahahaha) to my life!!!  and of course, the loveliest angels @joheun-saram​, @pars-ley​, and @ditttiii​ for reading through and giving me excellent feedback!
author note.  this is a part of @goldenclosetnetwork​‘s 23 | jungkook’s birthday project.  it’s my first time writing a hanahaki au so...  i have a lot of headcanons for it but i’m not sure whether it all came across in the story.  😰  eep.  anyway, please enjoy and feel free to leave any feedback.  i would love and appreciate it!  most importantly:  happy birthday, kook!  💖
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Your parents were a young match.  Together from the tender age of eleven, they’d shared pieces of themselves readily, trading secrets in tree houses and blanket forts.  Nothing was held back - a childhood crush brought to life by playful ribbing and sugar-coated snacks.  Where your mother went, so did your father;  she was his light as much as he was her shadow.  Two halves of a destined whole, earnest and pure.  Friends first.  
It made perfect sense when they shared their dreams - the same one they’d had since they could remember - and it was identical:  swimming in the ocean with a faceless friend, families on their respective four and three-week long road trips.  They’d recognised each other immediately, felt the click the moment they stepped off the camper van.  Your father had called it cooties;  your mother said butterflies.
It didn’t matter that they’d never seen each other’s faces until that moment.  There was the spark.  Recognition.  The rest was history. 
Jungkook’s parents have been soulmates since the early 2000s.  His father had lost his wife - his first soulmate - exactly one year prior to their meeting.  He didn’t have his recurring dream until a fortnight before he met his wife.  Hadn’t expected it, either.  He’d been talking about his day in his local support group (it never got easier, he’d discovered) and he’d mentioned it in passing, glossing over the details of the vivid new pictures painted against his eyelids.  His second wife - his second chance - had attended after losing her son.  A complete chance.  Serendipitous. 
It wasn’t always simple, though.  The heartbreaking endings came just as often as the happy.  
There were people who lost their soulmates before even meeting them.  They’d never know they’d lost their first one until the next dream came - if it came.  If they were lucky enough.  
There were message boards and dating sites.  Places people stripped themselves bare and spilt their secrets to the world.  Desperate for love, they detailed their dreams and hoped that their other half was somewhere out there, reading those same words.  
Some, though, never found their special someone.  Life came at you fast and from all directions - or it never came at all, caught somewhere across the globe in the form of someone you’d never meet.  Those were the most painful circumstances, as if fate was cheating the system.  Here’s a love you know you have, but that you’ll never experience.  It was terribly cruel. 
(But when was life ever fair?)
There were stories about those that never found their puzzle piece and how it felt, whether it hurt.  Most said it was a quiet ache, something you never really noticed until you thought too closely about it, like a scar that had healed over or a loved one gone a long time.  Painful in an explicable way and only - luckily, miserably - softened by ignorance. 
Others spoke about it like death, missing an integral part of themselves.  It played a large part of their life, shaping and changing them with each passing day.  They couldn’t fully live without their person, even if they’d never met them.  It was simply the principal of the matter. 
You’d never quite existed in either camp.  You’d always wanted to find love but you hadn’t rushed it.  You figured you’d meet your happily ever after at some point.  Maybe at your work - caught between the shelves or returning an overdue book - or maybe out with your dog, walking the same route you took every day.  They’d show up one day.  You were sure of it. 
Love had a way of surrounding you. 
Your best friends - because of course the two of them would fall for each other (it was nauseating) - had found each other young too, on the grounds of the elementary school you all played on.  They’d been bonded since the beginning, secrets exchanged in art class and atop monkey bars.  You’d cheered them on the whole way, giddy in a way you couldn’t describe.  Being around it  felt like standing beneath the sun, scorching heat warming you all the way to the core.  It didn’t matter that you didn’t have it for yourself (yet). 
They’d come.  Eventually.  You felt it in your bones and later, you’d learn, in your shins.
He’d come around the corner fast as a bullet, headphones in and hood pulled over his head.  You’d barely have time to avoid him, poor coordination lending itself to disaster when only one of your feet would make it out of his path of destruction.  
BANG!  
It was something right out of a campy romance novel.  Guy goes jogging, runs headlong into his dearly beloved and nearly gives her a concussion.  He feels bad for her scraped knees and falls in love with her dog.  His morning runs become theirs and six weeks later, over a late night bite of contrasting gelato flavours - green tea for him, bubble gum for her - they fit the pieces together.
Jungkook’s the faceless boy you’d always dreamt of, one hand on the wheel, the other resting easily on your thigh.  He was the one with the slick black AppleWatch and long fingers.  You’d never imagined he’d be covered in ink, immaculate designs running the length of his forearm all the way back and across his shoulders.  In fact, you’d never thought about tattoos at all. 
You get your first and only one with him - intricate red looped around your wrists and over your pinkies.  Your own, very real string of fate, sealed and signed forever in rouge. 
He was your Prince Charming, your best friend, your bonafide soulmate.  You’d done everything together - skydiving, snorkelling, silly photos atop the Eiffel Tower.  He’d adapted to your distaste of onions and took them all, meticulously picking them out of stir fries and sauces until not a single sliver remained.  You’d learnt to tolerate his unbearably fast driving, white-knuckled and silent when he’d tear around corners too fast in a car too low. You fit perfectly, filling all the spaces he could never, keeping him whole even when he was broken.  
Your love was of fairy tales but it was better than that too.  Real.  Concrete.  Solid.
Until it wasn’t.    
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The two of you had never had any other choice.
That’s what it feels like, at least.  He’d done his best - tried every little thing he could’ve possibly imagined - and it’d all amounted to nothing.  He’d gone through all the motions, explored every avenue, given everything he had.  It wasn’t working.  This thing he wanted with every fibre of his being, that he’d hoped for his whole life, just wasn’t working.  It wasn’t for him.
“I’m sorry,”  he cries, and he knows you know he means it.  You can read it between every line of his expression, tucked among the neatly scrawled india ink in faded red, underlining the passages you’d written together.  He is sorry.  He’d never meant to do this to you, nor you to him.  He’d wanted to give you it all - make all your hopes and dreams come true.
Sometimes, fate just had other plans.  
Because what the two of you had - so brilliant and beautiful and bright it was almost impossible to look at head-on - was what was tearing you apart.  It was your love that would be your demise.  
And he can’t bear to hurt the one he loves.  
He’d tried so hard.  Really, he had.  You had too, more than he ever deserved. 
There was simply no other option.  You’d always come up short.  You weren’t the one for him - not anymore - no matter how badly you wanted to be.  You weren’t the one meant for him.  You’d fumble for that ledge - held so impossibly high, just barely out of reach - before falling right back to where you began.  The bottom.  He couldn’t stand to see you there, brought to your knees once, twice, a hundred times.  
He’d lose count if not for the petals.
Little ones, at first.  Tiny pieces of silk you’d found on your pillowcase, outside the shower, in your water glass.  They’d been unassuming - reminders you could easily ignore.  
Then they’d grown, velvet softness that made it hard to breathe, that had him rubbing soothing circles over your skin, earnest vows winding like vines around your airways.  Neither of you had had any idea why it was happening.  You were soulmates - bound to each other and destined since the beginning.  Your love wasn’t unrequited. 
“We’ll figure it out,”  he’d said.  Sworn.  “We’ll get through this.”
Your heart had broken with each promise;  his had too, differently, but in perfect tandem.  
(Spring still came, steadily, with a rose garden blooming within your insides and freesias in your nose.) 
It wasn’t his fault.  You would never blame him, even when it was his fist that broke yours, splintered it into a million pieces that cut worse than the thorns in your lungs.  You knew this was just as hard for him.  He’d had to watch you wither away, even as a patchwork of flowers blossomed in the spaces he’d thought he could keep safe.  He hated it - could barely take it.  It kept him up all night, tears in his eyes.  Even when he slept - managed it, every few days - it’d prompt him awake in a cold sweat.
If he’d known then what had changed, maybe he could’ve fixed it sooner.  Maybe he could’ve saved you the heartache.  (Weeks later and during a coffee break with the new girl at his startup was not how he’d expected to find his answer.)
“I love you,”  you tell him, an ocean of sadness.  He loves you too, more than anything, more than there are stars in the sky.  He loves you with every part of himself - and yet he knows now that’s what’s causing this.  He loves you, but not in the right way.  Every touch he offers is wrong, leaving you bruised, broken, barely breathing.  It’s a disease - a venereal infection that seeps beneath skin and bone, settling within the marrow.  It changes you from the inside out, realigns your DNA until you’re mutated and miserable. 
The realisation is devastating:  his love causes more harm than it heals. 
So he stands there now, caught in the distance between you, eyes melancholy blue.  His composure is frayed, crippled beneath the weight of your circumstance.  He tries to memorise your face in these last moments - the colour of your hair, the shape of your stare.  How you sound in the morning - voice raspy with sleep, dust caught in your eyes.  The way you hold him close and the feeling of your eyelashes against his neck in the early hours.  
Jeon Jungkook doesn’t want this to end.  He doesn’t want to lose you, give you - this - up but he has to.  He has to, for you.  To give you a chance.  
Even after having so little - only five short years - you were about to lose the rest of your lives.  
You pack your bags - he helps, folding your favourite sweater (one of his, in truth) alongside your toiletries and undergarments - and you prepare to do the thing that you should never have to do.  You sign papers, dot I’s and cross T’s, and put all your treasured memories away into cardboard boxes to never be touched again.  You label them neatly and dress tape over edges;  Band-Aids meant to hold together the deepest wounds.
You’re going under by anaesthetic and he’ll be here, where he has everything he wishes he could give you.  A love he doesn’t deserve, within arms he wishes were yours. 
He wonders whether he’ll still feel the pull once it’s done or whether his heart will stay there, tucked somewhere beneath the dug up roots.  Whether it’ll be safe, undiscovered like a long lost treasure.  
It’s best this way.  He tells himself that - loops it on repeat until it’s the only thing he can think.  It has to be better.  For you, for you, for you. 
He knows he’ll carry you with him forever.  Like the air in his lungs, you’ll keep him going.  
He’s snapped back to the present, to the small hallway of the home you’d built together.  The traces of you are gone - all the photos hidden away, your row of shoes missing from beside his.  It’s strangely bare.  He knows it won’t last long.  She’ll be here next week.
Your hand pushes against his cheek, thumb caressing along the seam of his bottom lip, right where the freckle sits.  He’s a thief - a criminal, a sinner - when he dips his head, presses back into the warmth of your palm.  This isn’t for him to take but he does anyway, eagerly and with deep regret. 
“I love you.”  Your voice cuts through all the white noise and agony - a beacon in the night, guiding him home.  
He smiles, half-hearted and weak and not even his.  Every part of him screams at him to beg you not to do it, to accept him for the man he is - lost and weak and sorry.  He almost drops to his knees - fights tooth and nail against his aching limbs not to - and brings a hand to yours.  The red threads looped around your wrists fit perfectly together, the ends of inked rope caught around your pinkies matching when his fingers slot between yours. 
Don’t do this, he pleads, without words or hope. 
“I’ll love you forever,”  you tell him - promise like he had you.  “You’ll always be the brightest star in my sky, Jeon Jungkook.”
He almost cracks - seams near splitting, adhesive tearing from skin - when you return his smile and he can see how hard it is.  You’re already broken, all the pieces of your puzzle in terrible disarray. 
You’re trying, for him. 
“I’m so sorry,” he answers, because that is kinder than an I love you that doesn’t mean what you need it to.  Because you deserve better - you deserve it in the same way you mean it. 
So he’ll let you leave and he’ll pray this isn’t the worst decision of his whole life.  
“I’ll see you.”  
He hopes so.  He can’t bear the idea of losing you again.  He doesn’t think even she could fix him if he had to. 
“Be safe,”  he whispers, in a voice that stutters your stare and shatters what little resolve you have left.  He sees it in your eyes - all the crystallised parts of your composure turned to ash.  He wishes he could be sorry.  He’s not.  
“I love you,”  you repeat with an air of finality. 
Jungkook does the same:  “I’m sorry.” 
You leave, ushered into the back of your mother’s tiny sedan.  She helps you with your bags and your seatbelt, rubbing your shoulder carefully when baby’s breath slips past your lips and falls all over your lap.  She meets his stare when she climbs into the driver’s seat.  He tries to read her expression.  Understanding?  Resentment?  Gratitude?  
The car pulls away with a groan, disappearing down the tree-lined street.  Jungkook stands in the doorway for far longer than he should.
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He’s moved on - settled down with the girl of his dreams.  Literally.  
She’s nothing like you, sarcastic and stubborn with a staunch refusal to ever come second best.  She laughs maybe a bit too loud, giving him shit when he orders in another car part.  She’d eat an onion raw, if she could, and takes showers hot enough to slough the skin from her bones.  They have a home together and in a year’s time, he thinks he’ll propose.  He’s not in any rush, though, because he knows she’s his forever.  
(Knows it, even though you’d once been that same shining star to him.  He has to believe it won’t happen again.  Life can’t screw someone twice, right?  Lightning never strikes the same spot or something like that?)
Still, he tries to forget the feeling of you.  
It isn’t as hard as he’d thought it would be.  The love exists as it always has, just differently, in the palm of his hand and not the space behind his ribs.  You’re his best friend and he is disgustingly, unbelievably lucky.  
He’d gotten his second chance.  Even if he’d once resented it, he had everything now.  
You still go for your morning runs and he still changes your oil because you’d never learnt how to.  His parents invite you for Sunday dinners;  you’re gracious enough to decline them.  You don’t see it as pity - you just don’t want to intrude.  (It isn’t your place any longer.)  You accept all the changes readily, without regret.  You promise you’ll go by one day.  
Your parents never speak to him.  He doesn’t blame them.  At the supermarket, on the street, in passing when he’s coming and they’re leaving - it’s radio silent.  
It’s been six months and you haven’t dreamt at all.  They’d hoped - prayed - that you’d find someone new after him, someone to treat you right.  You don’t mind, you tell them.  I’ll meet my special eventually, you say (again, again).
He wonders whether you resent them for it - their concern, perhaps a bit overbearing and offered with a heavy hand.  If you do, you say nothing, playing along each time they suggest you meet another friend’s son, another junior at your father’s accounting firm.  You don’t understand the sad way they watch you. 
“I’m sorry,”  he mumbles one night, seated at the neighbourhood cafe you’d frequented on your first date.  Your idea, because you loved coffee and, in your old words, this was your place.  The start of it all, where he’d knocked you hard onto pavement and stolen your heart in the process.
You don’t remember it now.  Not in the same way. 
This is somewhere you come for their great matcha lattes, where you waste a few too many evenings when you just want to get out of the house.  It isn’t the place he’d told you he loved you or where you’d resolved your first fight.  
(It’d been stupid.  He’d forgotten to pick up groceries for your first dinner with your parents.  You’d been so stressed you’d snapped at him, carrying tension into the rest of the evening.  He’d apologised with an almond croissant and your favourite green drink.)  
It’s like a wall has gone up, splitting your heart in two.  The part of you that’d once been Jungkook’s remains out of reach, caught behind a gate neither of you have the key to.  
“For what?”  You quip, a milk moustache presenting itself over the rim of your mug.   
Jungkook shrugs.  He can’t make you understand.  “Y’know,”  he mumbles into his red bean mochi bun.  It sticks to his teeth and coats them in soft white flour.  “Just— everything.”  It’s not enough, either as an explanation or an apology.  It falls terribly short, barely worthy of a participation trophy.  
“It’s fine.”  You say it every time, clockwork in response to the same apology he always gives - out of the blue and vague.
“No, but I’m—”
You level him with a glare.  It might’ve hurt once but now it settles like a scolding from a sibling.  He reminds himself this is how it should be, you there and him here - two parallel lines.  
The guilt never goes away. 
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tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​​​ @snackhobi​​
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kiranatrix · 3 years
Note
What kind of Lawlight do you write? Anything short-ish with some angst?
Hooboy, yeah I write angst, fluff, spicy stuff, long and short fic. *flips through the menu* Here’s a pretty short ‘n angsty fic called Truth Serum that might scratch your itch. I’ll just paste it below since it’s not too long. You can find me on AO3 under zombiejesus for more.
—————-
It didn’t take long for L to recognize the subtle changes in Light after the Yotsuba case had ended. He was quieter now, more reserved. Kept to himself now that the handcuffs no longer bound them to the same spaces, to each other.
And if L was being honest, he missed it, in a way. But he wasn’t being honest, not with Light—he pretended like nothing had changed and he hadn’t noticed the changes in behavior—and not with himself.
But he knew he didn’t have much time left, felt the silent danger floating behind Light’s eyes. He saw a plan there, a cold confidence that betrayed Light’s feelings that he’d already won. Perhaps it was just a matter of time now. But what is he waiting for?
L had considered carefully his remaining options and none were likely to save his life, let alone expose Light as Kira. But there was one he hadn’t tried yet. Truth serum.
L held the syringe in his hands now, hovering over Light’s arm as he was restrained in the chair. It was just the two of them, Light had insisted on that stipulation if he was to go along with this. L still wasn’t completely sure why Light had agreed. Was he that confident he could beat it? Surely he didn’t think L believed he was innocent. But Light did have enormous willpower. Perhaps he really could.
”Last chance to back out of this, Kira.”
Light just shot him an irritated look and faced the wall, “Just get it over with.”
L applied the tourniquet and injected the drug into Light’s vein, holding a cotton pad over the injection site when he pulled the syringe back. He placed the empty syringe on a tray on the table and crouched in the chair across from Light.
Light began to sweat, he felt suddenly very hot as his mind became clouded, hazy. He tried to fight against it, but his eyes gradually unfocused as a fog descended. “Is...is this safe, Ryuzaki...”
”Other than the risks we discussed before, it’s perfectly safe.” He’d consulted with doctors about the dosage and precautions, and while no permanent damage was expected, some brief memory loss might occur. “As long as you have nothing to hide.”
Light swallowed hard, his throat felt dry and tight. He was drifting, hanging onto L’s voice and trying to focus, but he found his mental barriers, his practiced defenses, falling away under the drug’s influence. He slumped forward in the chair a bit, his chin resting on his chest as he tried to concentrate on breathing. He summoned up some scraps of defiance. “Doesn’t this...feel like cheating, Ryuzaki...using a drug? You must be...desperate.” A small smile as he lifted his large black pupils to meet L’s stare, but it was a broken mirror of Kira.
Something in L knew that’s exactly what this was. A last flailing attempt before it was too late. But he denied it to himself. It isn’t cheating. It’s the last option available to me.
”A few easy questions to see how you’re responding. State your name.”
”Yagami Light.” He looked at L, his eyes begging him not to do this. As strong as his willpower was, it was frighteningly clear he couldn’t fight this.
”And how old are you?”
”Eighteen.”
L paused. “Where did we meet?”
Light’s pupils tried to focus but only fluttered. “Our first meeting was...at To-Oh.”
”And what were your impressions then?”
Light whispered, “I thought you were strange. I thought you were beautiful.”
L looked up at the ceiling, a pain in his chest preventing him from looking at Light, now slightly drooling and unable to wipe it away. He stood up and took a tissue, wiping Light’s mouth. “You thought I was beautiful?”
”Yes.”
L returned to crouch in his chair, eyes unblinking. ”What did you think when I told you I was L?”
”I...was scared at first and then...I wanted to know you better. Get close to you. Work with you.”
”You wanted to join the Kira case, but why exactly?”
”I...admired you. It was an honor to be asked and I wanted to prove to you that...I was smart enough.”
”Smart enough for what?”
”My dream...to work beside you. Be a detective, solve cases like my father. Help you...as L.”
“And how did you feel when you came on to help?”
”Confident. Excited to be nearer to you. I felt...” Light swallowed hard but went on, “...attracted to you.”
”You were...attracted to me?” L was surprised, his eyes going even wider than their usual huge circumference.
”Yes.”
”But wasn’t Amane Misa your girlfriend?”
”In name only.”
”You don’t love her?”
Light looked away, “No.”
”Then why pretend?”
”She can see...names.” Light whimpered as the words were yanked from him.
L whispered, ”My name?”
Light jerked against the restraints, then slumped into them. Despair dripped from his voice, “Yes, she told me some time ago.”
“Then why am I alive?” L leaned forward in his crouch, his thumb pressed hard to his bottom lip.
Light felt panicked, the question wasn’t incriminating per se, but his answer would destroy him nonetheless. A whisper, “Because...I’m in love with you.”
The questions L had meant to ask: ‘Are you Kira?’...‘How do you kill?’...these stuck in the back of L’s throat as Light raised his unfocused eyes to L’s. He’s suffering, scared. He’s trying to fight this but he can’t. He’s waiting for the big questions that will end him. And he’s right. It is cheating.
A drop of sweat dripped from Light’s bangs hanging down in his face, and he struggled to regain control of his mind and fight the cheat. L saw fear flicker in Light’s eyes as their battle shifted from his favor, and as Light strained to lift his head, and managed to do it, L had never respected him more.
Light shuddered against the bindings, his breathing somewhat shallow. “You must have dosed me good, Ryuzaki.” He smiled sadly, confidence stripped away. “Aren’t you going to—“
”You’re in love with me?”
Light squeezed his eyes shut, breathing harder, “You make me say it again? I don’t want to be, but...yes.” The affirmation came out in broken pants.
L stared at him. These are Light’s truths. He’s fighting it. Being honest for...once in his life? But wasn’t it too much to ask for truth, given what we both are, who we are? I’ve lied too, Light. Lied my whole life too.
Light balled his fists and screamed at him, “Come on! Don’t draw it out to torture me! Just get it over with!”
L knew he could ask Light anything. He’d succumbed to the serum completely. “Light...” He got up and moved his chair closer, uncurling Light’s clenched hand into his own. And instead of asking about Kira, he asked Light to talk about his life, his dreams, the things he finds beautiful or scary or have broken his heart or cheered him. His childhood. His accomplishments. His failures. What he likes about L. What he loves.
”The way you stir your teacup so it never clinks the sides...
The way you look at me in the morning, right when you wake up, before you remember...
The way we challenge each other, even when we don’t have to, just because we can...
The way you chase me but don’t catch me, and I let you...
The flush on your cheeks when I touch you by accident...
These things, L. So many things.”
L gets to know the real Light, the one behind the mask he wears daily, over the afternoon. Putting off the big bomb questions, even though he knows he shouldn’t. He’d finally gotten the chance to know anything about Light but the Kira questions fade away in his mind. But eventually, L sees the truth serum is starting to wear off and Light is less groggy now, more guarded. L gets less and less out of him until finally Light has his mask back up completely.
Light’s pupils were sharply focused now, and he raises his head confidently. His breathing was normalized, and a tiny smirk started to form again on his lips. “Is the session over? Did you get everything you wanted?” He pulled his hand back into a fist, away from L’s, not remembering much about what he had said under the serum’s influence. But Light’s confidence was such that he felt he’d never compromise himself. And would L still be sitting here if I had? I’d be halfway to jail by now.
L sighed, considering what to do. He knew what he should have done. What he should do now. Why do I fear it, put it off? It’s what I’ve been working towards this whole time! And there may be very little time left.
Light wiggled impatiently, “Ryuzaki, are we through?”
L stood up and walked over to the table, taking a new syringe and pulling another dose of serum. Light shook his head rapidly and protested but L plunged the needle into his vein, and pushed the serum in.
“L, no...please stop...” The smirk felt away and the fear returned, and a new expression. Betrayal. Tears streamed down Light’s face this time, and he yelled, “Cheater!”
L pulled one more dose and crouched beside Light, watching his pupils become unfocused wide blackness again. “We’re going to be honest with each other, Light.” He injected the serum into his own arm. “Both of us.”
L knew they probably wouldn’t remember anything the other said after the drug wore off. No one was voicing questions. But the voice in L’s head that kept him up at night posed one instead.
He took Light’s hand, and told the truth.
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prettyyoungandbored · 4 years
Text
Second Place [Bale!Bruce Wayne]
Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader
Summary: Hi hi hi! Love your writing!! Can you please do an angsty Bale!Bruce Wayne x reader (who knows about Batman) around the time of TDK when he chooses to go save Rachel and doesn't realize that the other person the joker took was the reader?
Tagged:@kittenlittle24​, @fzzziiiieee 
Author's Note: I really ran with this farther than I intended and honestly, I’m really proud of this. That and sick to my stomach. 
Also, please listen to ‘Both Sides Now’ by Joni Mitchell when you read the end. When you see the ***, that means you play it. Wait a few second for Joni to begin singing, and then start reading. You won’t regret it.
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Y/N opened her eyes,a warm, muggy scent welcoming her. It smelled like a wet wood with a hint of maple. While she couldn’t put her finger, one thing was for certain - it did not smell like her bedroom at all. 
She went to lean up but felt stuck. It wasn’t until she looked down that she realized she was strapped to a chair, her hands tied behind her and ankles tied together.
Her blood ran cold, heart rate accelerating and stomach weakening. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she tried to remember how she got here.  While the details were fuzzy, all she could remember was the knock on her door and her reluctance to open it, thinking it was Bruce. After that the memories went black. 
She scanned the room, realizing she was in an broken down warehouse or something. Shards of glass scattered on the floor underneath broken windows, the cool fall breeze hitting her skin, causing goosebumps. Surrounding her were canisters with what appeared appeared to be some kind of thin tubes. She tried searching for a label, but the lack thereof only made her heart rate quicken its pace.
“Hello?! Hello?! Is anyone there? Hello?!”
Her body perked up at the sound of the familiar voice. “Rachel?” she called out. 
“Y/N? Y/N, is that you?” 
There was a muffle in the tone, indicating she wasn’t in the room with Y/N, but over a radio or perhaps a PA. It was then she noticed the walkie talkie device on the wooden chair in front of her. 
“Rachel, where are you?” Y/N asked. 
“I’m on a rooftop somewhere. What about you? Where are you?” 
“I’m inside some empty building. I don’t know where.” She tried swallowing the lump in her throat. “Is Harvey with you?” 
“No,” her voice went up an octave, followed by some sniffles. 
“Ok, ok, ok, um...” She closed her eyes, trying to wipe away the millions of thoughts to come up with something to relax them both.
“Y/N?” She sounded so helpless which made Y/N’s stomach drop. Rachel was not the type to give in to a situation. She always found a way to fight through even the toughest, most dark situations. 
“Yeah?”
“Y/N I am so, so, so sorry.”
Y/N closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Now is really not the time-.”
“Let me finish. Please.” 
Realizing there was no escaping it, even while they were both on the verge of death, Y/N sighed in defeat. “Fine.” 
“I’m so sorry for what I did. I crossed a line, both Bruce and I.” 
Y/N had walked into the apartment when the site of Bruce and Rachel kissing on the balcony stopped her dead in her tracks. Suddenly, the world she’d grown accustomed to crashed around her and even worse, the suspicions she’d pushed aside not just for the sake of her sanity but for the sake of hers and Bruce’s relationship, had been confirmed. 
“They’re childhood friends.” It had become her mantra throughout hers and Bruce’s relationship. From the way Bruce’s attention fixated on Rachel when she spoke to the way the two of them conversed outside the balcony during the fundraiser thrown for Harvey Dent, she had tried to cast her suspicions aside. She loved and trusted Bruce more than anything and Rachel had become a dear friend of hers. She tried to reason with their relationship, reminding herself their history extending back to when they both were children. 
Yet the truth of it still managed to shock the hell out of her.  
She let out an audible gasp, loud enough to catch their attention. Both Bruce’s and Rachel’s eyes widened, like deer in headlights. Unable to get out a proper sentence let alone speak, Y/N took a couple steps back before booking it out of there. 
“Y/N! Y/N, wait!” Bruce called out to her. “Y/N it was an accident.” 
Accident. That one damning word was all it took to make her break. She whipped her head, a heaviness weighing on her chest and shoulders. She stomped to him. 
“You fucking piece of shit!” she growled. “You know goddamn well it wasn’t a fucking accident and you know I’m not stupid enough to buy it!” 
She didn’t care that tears fell down her cheeks. He deserved to see every single one of them. Both of them did. 
“Y/N, I can explain,” Rachel interjected peacefully. 
Y/N pointed her finger, not even hesitating. “Save your shit for Harvey, ok?!” She turned back to Bruce. “You have no idea how many times I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I gave it to both of you more times than either one of you will ever know.” She eyed Bruce. “I did it because I loved you and because I trusted you.”
Bruce eyes softened, his mouth trembling. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 
She threw her hand up. “Oh so now you’re sorry? Why not lead with that instead of ‘it was an accident’?” She shook her head. “You’re sorry. You know what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was just a fucking placeholder for when she was ready to be with you.”
She unclasped the diamond tennis bracelet from her wrist, a gift he’d given for their one year anniversary. She held it up for Rachel to see. “Enjoy.” 
She threw it on the ground and turned around, not caring that Bruce was still trailing behind her. 
She’d made it to the door when he blocked her. “There’s a lot you don’t understand,” he told her, pleadingly. “Please, let me explain.” 
“Don’t make me feel anymore stupid than I already feel.” 
“Please, Y/N. Just listen to me.” He swallowed. “I love you-.” 
She reached for the door knob. “Ok, get out of my way. I’ve had enough.” 
“Y/N...” 
“You don’t love me!” Her voice cut like the sharpest knife. “Even if you do, it’s not enough for you. I will never be enough for you, because I’m not her. Look, this is your chance to be with her. Take it. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
She pushed by him and slammed the door. 
Y/N’s head hung low, a tear strolling down her cheek. 
“Bruce said he was going to turn himself in as Batman,” Rachel went on. “I told him that meant we couldn’t be together and...” She sniffled. “Y/N, he told me we weren’t going to happen because he had you.” 
“Rachel, you and I both know-.” 
“He had a ring for you. He was going to give it to you when you got back.” 
Y/N’s heart stopped, dropping to the pit of her stomach. “He...what?” 
“I told him I was relieved because Harvey...I chose Harvey. I chose him a long time ago.” She let out a sob. “It was a goodbye kiss. I promise you. It was us ending whatever future we thought we’d both have with each other.” 
Y/N found herself fighting another battle, the one where she wanted to argue Rachel’s claims. The idea seemed so didn’t make sense. Bruce buying her a ring and then to kiss his childhood love just to move on with her. But making logical sense was just a waste, especially in the situation she was currently in.
“Even if that were true, you and I both know how much he loves you.” She closed her eyes, her body tensing as she prepared herself mentally for the next words that came out of her mouth. “Which is why he’s coming to save you.” 
“Y/N...”  “You and I both know he’s coming for you.” She nodded her head. “It’s ok. Just know you’re going to be safe.” 
“Y/N...” 
“I just want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive both of you.” 
“He’s coming for you.” 
“He’s...”
“Rachel?!” 
Y/N cut herself off when she made eye contact with Batman. He stared at her, both of them realizing he had made a grave mistake and it went beyond saying her name. 
“Y/N? Y/N, are you there?” Rachel’s voice broke the silence. 
“Go get her,” Y/N told him. 
He hurried toward her, untying her. 
“Go get her! Forget me!” she screamed. 
He picked her up bridal style and carried her out hurriedly. The last thing she remembered was the fall night’s cool breeze on her face and the sound of a loud boom.
_____________________________________________________________________
***
Y/N opened her eyes to find herself in Bruce’s guest room. Her eyes glanced up at the hazy blue early dawn sky. She looked down at her body to find any injuries only to realize she had been unmarked. She didn’t feel any kind of pain.
She exhaled, waves of relief crashing over her. She could cry with joy of her luck, her chance to live. She cheated death. 
She went to look at the alarm clock that was on the nightstand only to see her diamond tennis bracelet laid out. What was once her most prized possession made her feel sick her to her stomach. She picked it up, amazed that it didn’t show any signs of damage from when she threw it on the floor. 
She went to put it on her wrist when she stopped. Putting it on used to be second nature to her, but now it didn’t feel like hers anymore and taking it felt like she was stealing. 
She had to give it back to him.  
She placed it back on the nightstand and threw the covers off of her. She proceeded to make the bed. She then grabbed the bracelet. 
Afterwards, she walked into the kitchen to find Alfred sitting at the island, staring at his mug somberly.
“Alfred?”
He looked up, giving her a small smile.
“Miss Y/L/N,” he greeted, his eyes glossy.
Her blood ran cold. His broken expression meant one thing and one thing only. “Where’s Bruce?”
“In the living room.”
She sighed, relieved, and went to make her way when...
“Ms, Dawes didn’t make it.”
She stopped walking, her body frozen in time. She turned around. “What do you...” 
“The police didn’t have enough time,” he explained. 
Her mouth hung open, his words hitting her like a train. “Oh, Alfred.” 
“I’ve known her since she was a child, running around in the backyard with Master Wayne,” he told her, his voice faltering at the end.
She opened her mouth once again to ask something, but closed it. She already knew the answer and either way, she was bound to find out. 
She walked in the living room to see Bruce still in his Batman gear with the exception of his cowl, which he held in his hands. His blotchy eyes fixated on the cowl, as if he was asking himself how he could’ve let this happened. His lips pursed back, the countdown to his eventual emotional and mental breakdown only seconds away. 
She wanted to hold him in her arms, wrapping around him like security blanket. She wanted him to cry on her as she rubbed his back, quietly reassuring him that everything was going to be alright. 
But she couldn’t make it better. No amount of words or types of affection she could provide him with could comfort him. 
She went to take another step, but decided it was best to leave him alone and went to leave.
“Y/N?”
She turned around to see his head turned toward her, face still and emotionless.In the time they’d been together, it was the most vulnerable and the most broken she’d ever seen him.  
And it fucking terrified her.
She couldn’t move, her body refused to let her. Running out on him felt selfish this time, especially considering what’d he’d done. 
She quietly approached Bruce, the two keeping their eyes on each other, unsure what to say. 
She cleared her throat, volunteering to be the one to break the silence. 
“I know I wasn’t your first choice,” she spoke up, her chest growing heavy. Tears began to tickle down her cheek but she quickly wiped them away, afraid he would see it. “I just wanted to....I’m...” 
Bruce opened his mouth when she waved her hand, indicating she wasn’t done talking. 
“Despite everything, I know how much she meant to you,” she went on, the truth in her words tasting like vinegar. “I am so, so sorry for your loss, Bruce. I hope you know that it wasn’t your fault and you shouldn’t blame yourself. She wouldn’t have wanted you to.” 
She wiped her tears once again and cursed them for continuing to fall. “Thank you for saving my life,” she sniffled. “I’m grateful you didn’t le-...” She shook her head. “Thank you.” 
She gently leaned down and placed the bracelet on the arm of the chair. 
She turned around, her head lowered as she tried to hurry out of there. 
“Y/N.” 
His tone was gentle and the sympathy she didn’t want oozed in his tone. She turned her head, wishing he’d just let her have the last word. 
“I don’t regret saving you,” he told her, his voice shaking. “I never will.” 
She opened her mouth to speak, but instead, opted to give him a nod. There was no use in continuing a conversation that had long been over before it even began.
The second elevator doors closed, she covered her mouth, loud, muffled sobs escaping her mouth. Her heart shattered into a million little pieces, for Rachel, for Bruce, and for herself.
Even in death, Rachel had won.
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montystarotchild · 3 years
Text
💌 Life Path Readings (1-9)💌
Happy New Years everyone! I hope it was beautiful for each and every one of you all. I wanted to start the year off with an in depth reading addressing our Life Path numbers and the journey that we will be taking this year depending on each of them. All of the lessons of life have an over-arching theme of archetypes that look similar to others but become more distinct for each individual. We all have a story that only we can tell. This reading will help you to clarify, deep down, what you may already know and to act as a reminder whenever you need it along your path. I will be linking below the site you can use to calculate and read more about your own life path number. I hope you enjoy and cheers to a prosperous New Year!
Calculate your Life Path here: https://creativenumerology.com/life-path-number/
✨Life Path 1✨
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This year you are being asked to step onto the path that’s marked ‘yes’! Your archetype for this year is The Bridge. The bridge is where we cross into the unknown on purpose. We do this in order to experience something that wasn’t on our side of the bridge originally. As a life path 1, your purpose is to learn all about the self. We are all meant to know ourselves but you specifically will initiate your passions based on what you discover about yourself. There are things within you that haven’t been recognized in a long while. This is the year where you will be tapping more into your instinctual wildness. You will be listening to your own inner voice as a master guide to lead you where you need to be. This voice is connected directly to Source and will never steer you wrong. While some may see you as self-centered, you actually work very well with others when it is needed. But as a life path 1 it is important to find a healthy balance of giving and receiving energy while interacting and working with others. It’s also important to acknowledge your attachments to things that keep you from acting upon your dreams. You should only have room for the things that match you energetically and for people who strive as you strive. This is where you can create with others very smoothly and lead effectively. The journey this year may look a lot like last year. It’s kind of like walking the same path everyday in the daylight and then having to walk it again in the dead of night. You can sense each step and it feels familiar but there is no sight to confirm what you feel. That is your intuition and you must trust each step. If your fear of potential or need for validation is keeping you from experiencing life and stagnant, it is time to release. No one can tell you where to go next, you must intuit this for yourself. Some of you may be singers, dancers or performers in general (spoken word poetry, live art, etc.) and this may be your main way of expressing yourself. It is time to believe in your talents and purpose. If you feel as if it is hard for you to accept your wins this year without an audience, speak with your ancestors. They are your biggest cheerleaders and are always rooting you on! Remember, “if a problem is not accepted as a problem, a solution may never be found.” Address those negative thoughts and free your soul.
✨Life Path 2✨
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As a Life Path 2, you have been sent here to be the Judge. When we think of judges we think of harshness and punishment but that is the energy of the physical world, not the higher realms. You are here to bring balance, peace and serenity. As a child this could have been a magical gift that you were always tested to use. As an adult, the use of our discernment is essential to our daily decisions but as a child we are still learning these talents and how they work. You may have been put in many situations as a child where you were to be the mediator. Especially between parents but this could be between siblings, friends or even close family members. You may have always been seen as a sounding board for others. I’m seeing that this wasn’t always the easiest for you. You may not have had the time or space in order to learn about this gift because others were always demanding things of you. Now is the time. If you feel as if last year your goals did not materialize as fast as you wanted this message is especially for you. Patience. If we do not wait it out we can never know the results. This may have been something that kept you from moving forward with any creative ideas, for fear that they wouldn’t come about. This could have conditioned you to think small and leave “dreaming big” for others to do, even though your intuition is telling you that you too can live a great and abundant life and it’s not something you have to wait to be handed. The pains of the past have already happened and there is no need for you to bring them with you along your journey. Even if you aren’t completely aware of your unconscious actions, you may still feel hints of the past replaying in your present. This doesn’t have to be. You can let go of all that is no longer supporting your growth. As you are healing from childhood trauma I see that you will be swept away in a new study. You could be learning more about meditation and intuition and finding books that talk about both. As you absorb this information you share it with those around you that you care for deeply. I find it ironic that the number 2 talks about connections but every single card in your spread only has one person depicted. This is a reminder for you to not lose yourself in others. There can be no true connection without independence. I also see that the moments that you are able to sneak to yourself (the shower, taking a bath or even taking a toke 🍃) may seem wild at first if it isn’t something you are usually able to do but can be very therapeutic for you. Also, if you are looking into different ways to manifest, look into water magic. It might not be as intimidating as you think!
✨Life Path 3✨
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What a beautiful reading! This will be a monumental year for you to truly tap into the depth of your own feelings. 2020 may have been a very “reactive” year for some of you. You may have found yourself reacting to situations strongly and emotionally without truly understanding why. If you found yourself starting shadow work towards the end of the year then clarity may be coming to you now. But for others, this may still be a confusing time and that is more than ok. When we first wake up for the day or from a nap it takes us a moment to gather ourselves right? Well imagine that you have been asleep this entire time, be gentle in the waking process of your spiritual consciousness. Because life has seemed so mysterious and “impossible” to crack you may feel as if you have missed a lot of the signs that could’ve kept you from engaging in situations you should’ve avoided. It is time to release replaying those moments because they have led you to today. And to unpack this emotionally may still seem like a daunting task for you. Most people refuse to face the unknown, will stay stagnant rather than move further into the future. Not you though. You have no problem exploring the unknown because interesting people and places lie within the fog. One thing that you may carry with you is a mask. You may enjoy changing your “appearance” in order to fit the room. You doubt that the real you would be accepted into the rooms where you really want to be. This year you are walking away from that mindset. You know that a true artist digs into the depths of their soul in order to create the things that change the world. It’s all about emotional fulfillment this year. Last year we learned that if it doesn’t move us it can’t come along this passionate journey of life. You are here to connect others with your words and the images you create out of them. There will be many opportunities for collaboration this year if you open yourself up to that energy. But before you can revel in that creative energy you must come face to face with yourself. There is a need to balance your emotional scales, which are so important when you are working with other people. If you don’t know where to start, your Ancestors are here to help you with anything you need, you simply need to ask. “Spirit, how can I uncover my hidden feelings/emotions today?” This is an opportunity for the floodgates to burst open within you. It may not feel like the easiest transition, and of course it won’t all happen at once, but this is where you find your creative spark. Because it is imperative that one come before the other, if not, you may show a level of cockiness to others that can be an emotional response that you aren’t fully aware of. Another way you can practice opening up to yourself more emotionally is by journaling. Write your most intimate thoughts and feelings down. When you can read them freely without judgements maybe practice your hand at a bit of poetry? It may really help with discovering the amount of depth you truly hold.
✨Life Path 4✨
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This is going to be a powerful year for you 4’s. Things will seem unfamiliar but that is because things will be changing right before your eyes. Being born with a Life Path 4, you crave stability, structure and knowing. When others speak of change you may close off, feeling as if everything is exactly where it’s meant to be in your life, even if it’s not. This year you are coming from out underneath the covers and addressing what has probably been there all along. If you have found resistance in yourself when it comes to making a decision to act upon a thought, this message is especially for you. You are needing to step out of the mindset of control. You want to make the right decisions while receiving the right outcome but that isn’t what this year is about. Why limit yourself to what you believe is right when there could be many other different options that are equally as fitting, if not more? This is where you find your true feelings, in the midst of the storm. Think about something you really want to do this year. If no one else was around to decide for you, would you still be confident in the next steps you took towards that goal? Confidence is your key to success. Your belief in yourself will be the deciding factor on how 2021 will play out for you. I can tell you now, the more action you take (with less calculations of the end results) will take you to places you couldn’t have imagined! And you couldn’t have imagined because you still wanted that one way to work out more. That’s ok! If someone tells you they don’t struggle with controlling the outcome of life then they are lying. We all do. But for you, as soon as you release this need, new pathways begin to open up. I am seeing that many of you have been manifesting new networking connections, careers or financial opportunities. This can and will be successful! Your sole purpose as a Life Path 4 is to enjoy the work that you do. If this is not your current state or you are unemployed this only leaves the trajectory of onwards and upwards! There may be a mentor coming in for you this year. It can either be a masculine figure or they have masculine qualities, it could even be your father. They are going to assist in you connecting with the spark of life. There may be many other kindred connections coming about either through this new person or thereafter but I am seeing that you are surrounded by nurturing and compassion. This person(s) may teach you through lessons they have already learned, which will help guide you even more. You can relate to what they tell you and it may even help to uncover some of these hidden emotions behind your controlling. Either way, the connections in your life will be aiding you in these unfamiliar times, ensuring that you continue to nurture yourself. Do not lose hope, just because you can’t see the miracles doesn’t mean your wish isn’t being fulfilled!
✨Life Path 5✨
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This year you are awakening the Healer within. As a healer (not just in the traditional sense) you understand that just like life, healing isn’t linear. You know that there can be many different paths to a common goal when it comes to healing. This may have taken you a while to understand or there are parts of this theory that you are still learning but either way, you are aware. You have really been working with the spiritual realm in order to manifest in the physical world and this has done you well. You continuously come face to face with your magic and everything that you are capable of. A part of this manifestation may be like minded folks who not only cheer for you but have their own ambitions you can cheer on as well. This year mutuals will be able to fully support and share in all of the magic that you are creating in your life. As new opportunities and financial gifts enter your life those who are around you who haven’t tapped into their own potential may not understand how you got so lucky. You may have others trying to intrude upon your sacred space trying to find out how it is that you do what you do and do it so well. You can be a very flexible person at times understanding that certain etiquette wasn’t granted to everyone but this year is a year of boundaries. If you feel as if certain boundaries are weaker for other people just because of who they are it is ok to reinforce with love. Being so adaptable allows you to shift your perspective whenever it is wanted or needed. With the proper boundaries in place you will receive confirmation on those who you can feel comfortable celebrating your wins with. This year will be a huge year for confirmations for you. You may even ask a question out loud and have it answered by Spirit that very same second. Especially if you see signs in 3’s, this is a divine message important for you to take notice of. As your true circle either grows with the right ones or, shrinks down to a tolerable and accurate number of supportive mutuals, take space for the pain it took for you to grow through this change. Separation isn’t always as easy as we think it would be even if we know we need it. With 2021 being the year of 5 (2+0+2+1 = 5) you have the double influence of change this year. This will be an important year for you to make a habit of constantly checking in with yourself. With so much change going on around you, your emotional self must maintain some kind of grounding. (333, 111)
✨Life Path 6✨
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You are tapping into some ethereal magic this year 6’s! Last year you may have spent a good amount of time working with your spiritual self so this comes as no surprise. Your creative spark has been ignited in the presence of Spirit. You are honing your skills and mastering your talents. This may have been energy that you easily fell into in order to push aside an emotional response trying to get your attention. Your studies may have taken your observations inwardly where you discovered that you were accepting a lot more than necessary. Taking on emotional responsibilities that you are either hesitant to walk away from or are unaware of or ignoring your need to. This is also a very spiritual spread, highlighting clairvoyance and heightened senses. As you elevate energetically you may also tune into others’ emotions and energies accidentally. As you are exploring your spirit be sure that you are listening to your intuition as to what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else. Releasing the emotions and energies of other people will help you to clearly see who you are and all of your potential. Revealing your true self. Look into spiritual baths/showers and the process of cleansing your aura to help with releasing. A lot of you could be channeling your creative entrepreneurial spirit, wanting to heal the world and its inhabitants. Your ambition for this passion and your pure light continues to push you forward but you aren’t certain towards what just yet. If you are feeling strongly that there is more to the story when it comes to your dreams and manifestations, look deeper. You may be receiving signs from Spirit that you are dreaming too small, that there can be more. I am seeing that that doesn’t have to be an issue any longer. You could be coming into contact with a form of divination that helps you to continue to reveal your destiny. Either through Astrology, charm readings, tarot, life progression readings etc. You will be manifesting and reaching your goals of self-realization through this as well. This is the most important part of your message 6, when your manifestations begin to appear, do not question if they belong to you. That is the point of working on your intuition, so you don’t have to question, you just know. This is going to trigger a great change within you but you must not fight it. This destiny is yours.
✨Life Path 7✨
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This year you are recognizing the pain current in your life and the boundaries you set up as protection at first but ended up being a source of limitations. Based on the life path 7, being as unique as you are, you have felt isolated for most of your life. Meaning just because you are in a room full of people doesn’t mean that you are showing up fully as yourself. There are layers to you that most cannot penetrate. Keeping people at a distance ensures that they don’t have an opportunity to learn you and then reject your most vulnerable parts. While this has been a comfort for you for so long you are receiving more and more confirmation as to how this is no longer serving you. Remember, when messages show up in 3’s it is divine. You are a seeker of knowledge but most knowledge can’t be consumed or discussed with others if you are afraid to let people into the sacred space of your mind. There is someone new coming in this year or this interaction has already happened, trust me you’ll know. This could be a quick interaction with a complete stranger or someone who is still fairly new to you. They are here to expand your point of view. This person’s open mindedness will inspire and intrigue you to open your own horizons a bit more. You could have a flash of ideas or inspiration that invites in a moment of reflection and nurturing care for yourself. Within this process your discernment looks similar to the ways of your new friend. Your healing will bring you a new level of mental clarity where you can clearly recognize your “boxes” more accurately and bravely step out of these confines. This won’t happen randomly of course. Spirit is aligning an opportunity for you to witness and experience a moment of awe. You may be exposed to a work of art, a composition of music or something that you view as a masterpiece. Are you interested in making something like that or something of your own? This is your moment to try! You never know what could come of it and you don’t even have to share it. Through this work or just in general you are finding your balance. Your body will be calling out for rest at the end of all of this and it is your duty to listen. No matter how good passion feels we must never give into burnout. If you believe in the possibility, it’s time to tune into both your feminine and masculine energy to truly understand what your body needs and when it needs it. We are all made of these merging energies where we learn to stand in our authority with an openness to vulnerability. Do not be afraid 7’s, this is all a part of the puzzle of you and there’s no way you can do it wrong.
✨Life Path 8✨
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This year you are uncovering more to your own story 8’s. You may have spent 2020 doing extensive shadow work but you recognize that it never truly ends and there is always more to heal. Hence the infinity sign (∞) represented in your number. Based off of the childhood of people with the life path 8, you may have a tendency to lean into burnout culture. This may be because of being raised in an ‘all or nothing’ atmosphere. You may have been challenged frequently to do “better” as a child and that now manifests in all that you want to accomplish today. As an 8 life path you have a lot of goals set and all leaning towards financial security. But a large part of your shadow work this year is learning when to rest. Rest doesn’t have to mean always sleeping but taking intentional moments in your day just to exist. This is the year where you learn yourself and what you need intuitively. Some lessons are harder to extract from our psyche but you are tired of always being ‘on’. Your intuition is being called towards independence and freedom. You are being guided into the astral planes where earthly limitations do not exist. Here you will gain more spiritual knowledge and find your truth. You won’t have to do anything special to reach this new experience. Your soul has it’s very own connection to the Source of life. All you have to do is be. This year you are also learning the lesson of “this and that”. What this means is that something can be “this” but it can also be “that”. You may have had a decent childhood (this) but there is still trauma that you have to address and begin to try to heal from (that). This year is all about honesty. As a result of this patience with your soul work you display this same patience in all that you manifest. Where you may have been anxious or impatient for the results of previous manifestations, this year your dreams’ growth reflects your own personal growth. As you are reawakening beware of your speech towards others, especially those who you feel may have held you back. Intentionally or not. You have a way with words and can use them as a weapon if not cautious. Instead, taking your fast wit and humor inwardly and examining yourself through a less critical viewpoint will assure that no one is harmed in your inquiry. No matter how strongly you feel about others and their expectations of you, you must release your need to react. There is a difference between standing in your authority and not allowing others to sway or bully you vs reacting off of something that may have truly hurt you in the moment. Your deeper connection with Spirit will show you exactly what is important to fight for. It’s not for the last word but for all of your hopes and wishes. They are all coming true, it’s just time to stay aligned, no matter what.
✨Life Path 9✨
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This year you are taking a deep look at yourself 9’s. I am going to start off by saying that this process is going to take some strength in patience because no healing is linear. We usually like to see the fruits of our labor the day we’ve put the seed in the ground but there’s an entire watering process that we are missing. You are the seed #9. You may have noticed something recently. You are unsatisfied or unhappy with your surroundings. You may have a hard time finding simple things in your room. Or there’s never any silverware clean when you need to eat. And laundry? Forget about it. If there is disorder within your home, your sanctuary, might there be some emotional cleaning that needs to transpire first? It is true that doing daily physical activities are much harder to do when there are unsettled thoughts and feelings trapped within the body with no release. Before anything can be addressed maybe taking a walk will free your mind up for some “heavy lifting” thinking. Or if you can’t get outside and haven’t yet, take a nice shower in order to connect with the water element. There is something that you have been back and forth about within your mind. Something that you want to take a leap of faith on. Sometimes we view ourselves as these small beings that life happens to. And other times our mind drifts to the idea that there is more, that you are more and are here to experience more. Which is true! But when we are so focused on what we want and our purpose for being here, the more, we tend to laser focus. We want this outcome so badly and we will cover every step to ensure that we get it. And when we do we must keep going. This year you may be finding that this doesn’t actually manifest your desires any faster. If anything you may find yourself wishing on stars that have already lost their luster. There is someone coming in to set some realizations straight for you. It could be them sharing their purpose or just a wise word that could really help you in your situation. Of course all ways be careful with strangers sharing their own thoughts but take what parts of the message ring true to your heart. Are there areas of your heart that are closed off from hearing something healing? Beneficial? Why? Do you view compassion as a weakness or a strength? This is only the beginning of your deep introspection 9’s. There are many layers to your emotions that you are just beginning to open up to. Take each life lesson brought to you with a different level of emotional maturity. Allow yourself to fall into the vulnerability of all that is you. This will bring in a breath of fresh air and clarity for you. Your thoughts will be diverse and you will be decisive. And if you are able to find a safe moment outside try something for me, open your arms out wide, tilt your head back, take a deep breath in and scream “THANK YOU” to the stars above. How did that feel?
If you enjoyed this reading please like/reblog! As this is a general reading, tipping isn’t required but always appreciated. 💖
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tundrainafrica · 3 years
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Hi, i saw some time ago you compared Royai to Levihan, would you mind elaborating more on their similarities? I ship both and looking at they compared blow my mind
YES. Beautiful ask anon! As always, sorry for only getting into this now, my inbox is still a mess I am currently trying to make sense of. But legit, I could talk about this for hours. Cause I’m that fucking simp who just randomly goes on Youtube and watches the Riza breakdown vs. Lust  scene just to see some GREATTT acting and some great crumbs. 
So anyway, will be moving on now to this really long and--mind you--uncurated rant. 
Disclaimer though: Although I have watched all the fullmetal stuff, from the first anime, to brotherhood to the manga and have lurked in the fanfiction sites long before (like fam, this anime is literally my childhood it’s such a big part of my life that when I hear ‘mustang’ I think of roy mustang not the car), but at this point, the main story line for me is a blur and I probably just remember only the Roy scenes and the Royai scenes well. 
I was not a big fan of Edwin for multiple reasons. 
Warning: Spoilers abound for FMA so read at your own risk. And for people who watch FMA but not AOT, spoilers abound for AOT is well.
So there are a lot of similarities between Levihan and Royai and I think this is the reason why Levihan definitely appealed to me a lot as a couple. Royai after all was my OG ‘I think I wanna be in this type of relationship’ type of couple. 
Military Setting
I’ve always found these types of relationships interesting cause I like to think, you’re in such a high stakes and very stringent atmosphere where you could die at any moment and you’re constantly doing such morally grey things. And with that, people have the tendency to either close in on themselves and just keep to themselves or just go crazy over time. Yet you have people who find the time to form CLOSE and almost ROMANTIC bonds with your fellow soldiers
And I just like the process of exploring how this happens. And you know what makes it juicier? 
    2. The commander to the subordinate dynamic (with a twist)
The boss to the follower dynamic because Royai and Levihan are both incredibly healthy and stable relationships but they both come from something taboo right? A commander to subordinate relationship? So we ask ourselves? How did they both make it work? 
Well, what I notice is despite the implied respect Riza and Levi both hold for Roy and Hange respectively, due to their positions in the military, do you notice Hange and Roy still have respect over Levi and Riza’s opinions. I cannot remember all the scenes in both shows but remember that scene where Riza would just stop Roy half way into fighting when it’s raining because sometimes he does forget that he can’t do his fire thing when it’s raining? It shows obviously that Riza could undermine his decisions if she finds them completely idiotic or out of the blue. Or that scene where Roy was curbstomping Envy when he found out Envy killed Hughes? 
So, the thing is Levi and Hange worked like this too. Even before Hange became commander, I think there was an already implied hierarchical difference between being ‘squad leader’ and being ‘team captain.’ Squad leader’s are generally in a higher position and command a much larger group and do you see how Levi approaches Hange? Like when telling her off about risking her life when trying to capture the titan? 
And even when she was commander, that telepathy scene?? Can we appreciate, that when Hange became commander (compared to when Erwin was commander), Levi took the reins of a lot of the leading in the survey corps, as if he understood his job wasn’t just to follow Hange but to take care of her? 
Like I’m sure Riza saw her job more as a caretaker to Roy more than his subordinate and seeing this in Levihan was just fantastic.
And another thing I love about both of them...
  3. They were just the two competent level headed people
This is such a trope for me. I cannot handle couples where someone is just not competent or is so obviously underpowered compared to the other. Like I want them to be able to handle themselves without the other. And even when they’re alone they’re doing shit and you just find out later, by the way I have this bf/gf/partner who is equally competent. But when we’re together we just share one brain cell because we can practically melt when we’re safe with the other. 
And the thing is since they’re in a military setting we don’t see them ‘practically melt,’ we can usually just pick out the crumbs (ehem 126), and the fact that these crumbs are such rare gems, makes it all the jucier. 
And here’s the thing, in animes and in stories, this ‘competent people’ couple is usually supporting cast cause I dunno? Nobody wants to hear about the competent couple who just figured out they like each other and they just like hanging out with each other for some reason? 
And most adventure stories are underdog stories where we watch people start of as dead weight and get stronger which is not boring per se but I dunno, these couples usually dont’ appeal to me fsr because I’m all for the power couple dynamic and the protagonists always have something going on making them doubt their strength so yeah.  And there’s usually this token love interest who’s not as strong and tries not to be useless but is kinda dead weight.
4. Their special abilities? 
Levi and Hange are a power couple the way Roy and Riza are. When these two couples were introduced into their respective stories, they were all well established as bad asses. We have humanity’s strongest, humanity’s smartest then in FMA we have the flame alchemist one of the strongest alchemists and we have Riza who’s crazy good with a gun. 
5. They were never that in your face couple
As said above, I really love competent people ships but nobody really likes reading about people being competent and having their level headed shit together so these characters end up with more of supporting character energy who have their ‘big damn heroes’ moments where they swoop in and save the protagonist. 
And the thing is, since they’re supporting characters, there’s so much more room to move when contemplating such couples because the crumbs are there? But at the same time they’re not there? And since I like exploring my own headcanons about those ‘boring’ yet incredibly stable and mature relationships, these tend to be my favorite characters to shoehorn into my spotify playlists.
Edwin and Eremika respectively have more ‘in your face’ crumbs and I dunno, their crumbs for me always seemed to be too obviously there where I was like ‘okay cute relationship’ but  ‘I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship like that’  kinda way. 
And since main protagonist romantic subplots crumbs are already ‘in my face’ I end up thinking to myself, what’s there to headcanon?
And like they go through so much more problems romance wise since obviously they are the protagonist. But I guess for me, I never liked those couples who were so obviously together and go through problems that bystanders are aware of. Because I dunno, people might not agree with me but it doesn’t sit well with me when EVERYBODY knows about the problems between two certain people in a relationship. 
I always liked those couples who just start off as two people hanging out together and then like five years you find out, they live together and have five cats and it turns out they’ve been married for two of those three years. 
And power couples just make it work? Because the stories tend to focus on them being competent people more than being in love so when the coupling actually happens it’s like: 
“Wow you live together and have five cats, you worked so hard for it, I’m so happy for you.” 
Instead of you know, watching people go through like 3456 instances of miscommunication drama just to end up in a still seemingly doubtful relationship.
6. Iconic scenes for Levihan and Royai? 
And here’s the beautiful thing about the crumbs of both of these ships, they are incredibly apparent when the stakes are high and this is *chef’s kiss.* This is literally the climax, the peak to such subtle crumbs. Like okay, fine it’s satisfying to see the main protagonist and their main love interest doing shit and loving each other when the stakes are high like in Season 2 of AOT with Mikasa thinking she’s gonna die so she confesses to Eren or maybe that Naruto and HInata scene in the Pain Arc where Hinata just pops in and saves Naruto and kinda dies in the process
But can we all agree that there is something very very very satisfying about seeing two people who are probably not or are probably dating just going crazy for each other when the stakes are high? Like yo, come on. 
My favorite scenes for Royai: The Lust fight scene, the Envy fight scene and lastly, the scene where Roy opens the gates to save Riza and goes blind. Can we just appreciate the fact that Roy risked his Colonel dreams to save Riza by going blind??
And for Levihan? I’m sure Levihans are tired of hearing the chapter numbers but 115? That’s fucking iconic, Hange ltierally jumped into the river with Levi and please tell me that is not a parallel to Roy opening the gates for an already half dead Riza. Mind you, Hange did not even know if Levi would make it or not and she probably didn’t know if she would make it or not either. Any of the soldiers could have literally just shot into the river and nicked them with bullets.  She just literally abandoned everything and wooshed to the river. 
And I had this convo with a few other people and we were thinking about what if it was anyone else who found Levi. And we came to the conclusion that IT HAD TO BE HANGE. Because somehow, I feel like Hange would have been one of the only few, if not the only one who would have gathered up the courage to jump into the river and risk their own life to save Levi. 
And for the next part... Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, please let’s not start a ship war.
Like with the war on twitter “Levihan vs. Eruri,” I started to reflect as well on whether or not Erwin would have saved Levi if he was there instead of Hange but I think it is less likely that Erwin would have saved Levi. Erwin probably wouldn’t have agreed with the rumbling definitely but I cannot help but think, Erwin approached his commander position like a chess master and with this, approached Levi as a superior while Hange approached Levi as an equal and a best friend. 
So if, saving Erwin was just going to mess with plans let’s say to manipulate the Yaegerists for some greater purpose, would Erwin have just let Levi die? 
7. The magic is no one fits Roy or Riza perfectly.
I had these same thoughts with Shikatema vs. Levihan and now Royai vs. Levihan. So comparing their dynamics, I just have to say, that none of them fit each other perfectly. Hange has Riza and Roy crumbs and Levi has Riza and Roy crumbs too. 
Like Roy is some ridiculously strong (Levi) superior (Commander Hange) with a seemingly goofy personality (Hange). Riza is the subordinate (Levi) who’s equally reliable but not as overpowered (Hange) with a very strict but very obviously emotionally constipated personality (Levi) 
Like if you put Levihan in some of the token Royai moments. Like the Lust fight? I think Levi would have done something similar to Riza. Okay, he wouldn’t have broken down right then but he would have done something similar to what Roy did when he found out Envy killed Hughes. 
I’m convinced Hange would have had a breakdown which is more of an in between between what Roy (Envy fight) and Riza (Lust fight) had in their respective fights. I mean 115 is proof enough that Hange ain’t playing when her bebeluvs is in danger. 
8. And towards the end of the series?
Okay this is where the comparisons just kinda diverge because this part makes me sad. In the end game, Royai worked together. Riza became the eyes of Roy when he was making shit explode in the final battle coz he was blind. 
And Hange and Levi were completing each other towards the of the AOT end right? Not just with the jian bird references with having parallel injuries. In the final battle though when Levi was out of commission due to the explosion, Hange was the one fighting with the crew until 132. And the moment she died, Levi stepped up and fought right? 
Like they had something similar going on, where these two were covering for each other and taking care of the kids. It’s just that compared to Royai who were explicitly working together, we have Hange covering for Levi right after he got injured and Levi stepping up to cover for Hange after she died. 
AND I can’t help but think, literally post time skip just could not handle Levihan working together huh? Is that how competent Levi and Hange are as soldiers that Yams couldn’t let them work together just one last time? Like he knew it would mess with the story if he lets Levi and Hange lead at full power?
Which brings me to last point, and the point that makes me saddest.
9. About them being endgame? 
Okay, so it wasn’t confirmed that Roy and Riza ended up together because Roy still had his fuhrer goals but AT LEAST THEY HAD A CHANCE? Like their last scene in the show was still them together? And Riza still at least got to follow him? 
Levihan… They just… shit just happened and we all know what happened and now I’m reading fanfiction and crying over fcitoonal characters to pass the quarantine.
Anyway, if you reached this point, thank you for reading. And thank you for the question anon!
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shyrose57 · 3 years
Note
the xlife and dsmp crossover au you have with the mentor stuff for the minors is so fun!! i love it a bunch and was wondering if you have any idea about it?
i love the idea of niki being h’s student, also the idea of him being really protective of her and just constantly wanting to teach her is amazing. i’m imagining him being a cat and liking warm spots, but then sometimes those warm spots are just open fire or lava and it’s the old dragon instincts popping up except he does not know why
Glad you enjoy it! I do have a few ideas for it, but not much, seeing as I mostly just watch Lizzie’s videos. Feel free to offer up some more ideas!
Purpled’s always been a money-making person. He had chests upon chests of treasure, ranging from stacks of gold to priceless artifacts. Lauren moved all of it to his burial site after his death.
Everyone’s still got some traits from their past hybrid sides, even if they are different hybrids now. Hbomb has the most, since his reincarnation went a bit funky(via him keeping his name and main appearance), but the others have little things too. Tommy’s always liked mossy, overgrown caves, despite his avian status, and nests in them more often than not. It always bewildered Phil. Tubbo always smells faintly of dandelions. Nobody can pinpoint where it comes from, but the scent seems to cling to his skin, making him a beloved visitor of the bees. George feels most at home in the forest, Ranboo can be found lounging in warm spots, on his rare lazy days, and Purpled is weirdly accurate when it comes to Enderpearls.
As a child, Tommy absolutely despised sunlight. He’d cry and scream if he was dragged outside, and wore tinted glasses for a large majority of his childhood. On the other hand, he could stare at anything with color for hours.
Tommy and Tubbo have always known when something was up with the other. Even when they’d just met, they instantly seemed to be able to read each other. Not only that, but they’ve always been intimately aware of the world around them, of the storms and earthquakes, and how well the harvest would go. It’s a connection that has traversed lives, and will continue to do so.
Ranboo’s white half looks almost exactly like his old self, minus the red eye. If his skin was just pale, and his eye was blue, it’d be like looking at a torn photo. This causes much pain, later on.
Ranboo has a secret little cabin miles away from the main Smp area, hidden in a dark oak forest. He shares the area with George, who has his own little hideaway here. Neither have ever said anything about it, but sometimes they invite each other over for snacks, and just...sit and enjoy being so surrounded by the world. 
Purpled has mixed feelings on the others. As a wolf hybrid, he’s incredibly loyal to those who earn it...but that doesn’t explain why he’s so ready to go to war for these people he barely knows. The minors, maybe he could understand. He knows them at least a bit, and they all get along fairly well. But Wilbur? Niki? Why does he feel the need to protect them when they don’t even speak? These confusing feelings lead to him keeping his distance from everyone quite often, though he doesn’t hesitate to join Pogtopia’s side when they come asking.
Ranboo’s frequently adopted by cats. It doesn’t matter where he is, if there’s a cat, there will soon follow a few dead rabbits at his feet, and he will be promptly stared down until he eats them. This is actually how he met his own cats, and they continue to do this to this day.
All the X-life members have little trinkets from their former students, kept safe in their Enderchests.
Speaking of Enderchest, the first time Hbomb opened one, he found it already filled with a bunch of items, including a strange, oversized golden harness, carefully carved and inlaid with moonstones and garnet. He feels strangely sad when holding it. 
He never mentioned it to anyone-half these items didn’t exist on this server, it seemed like it would make Dream to happy to have them here. 
(Every once in awhile though, he does take out his Elytra and use it to fly around. The wings always take on a draconic form, despite being feathery for almost everybody else)
You know that Familiar Book Lizzie has in her Shadowcraft series? Tommy and Tubbo both had one too, which eventually end up back in their possessions, thanks to the weakening walls between worlds, and some very persistent creatures. Thicket’s favored familiar was the Ocelot, like Lizzie. Thimble personally was fond of 1up and the Fairy. 
Purpled taught Ranboo how to teleport. How did he know? Not even Purpled knows that, but his tips certainly were helpful. 
As for Niki and Hbomb being close, well, that’s what I was going for! He easily takes up a mentor role with her, and the two just seem to connect quick, which is definitely because of their past lives. Hbomb helps protect all of them, and it’s not long before Niki’s joining him, decked up in armor. Neither of them may remember, but they have always been the protectors, from one dragon to another. 
Yeah, he should definitely like warm spots. Maybe he can have a small base in a lava pit. It’s pretty far away, and all it has is a few chests, a bed, and the nether portal entrance, but it’s very warm and toasty...for him. For anyone else, it’d probably feel more roasty. 
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trashmenofmarvel · 4 years
Text
Branded - Chapter 24
Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Bucky receives your Christmas present.
(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart​. Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)
Chapter Warnings: So much fluff
AO3
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You took your mission to get a present for Bucky just as seriously as your mission to seduce him. No alcohol was involved this time, just a little elbow grease and fighting through the cobwebs of the attic.
With your sister distracting Bucky downstairs after dinner (“Ohh, does this mean I can give him the shovel talk?!”), you had the time needed to find what you were looking for. A pile of cardboard boxes with your name written on them, along with the year you’d moved away from home.
You sat on the old wooden floor, opened a box, and began to rummage. Plushies and toys you hadn’t wanted to part with were in the first box. The next, various knickknacks you’d collected over the years. A crystal vial filled with water and gold flakes. A keychain full of dead Tamagotchis. A collection of bookmarks made out of wood and hand-painted with magical creatures.
Each new treasure brought a wave of nostalgia, bittersweet for a time when things had seemed simpler. No soul-sucking job. No demons stalking you, waiting for you to be alone and vulnerable to strike.
But there had been no Bucky, either. So while the memories held an alluring shine to it, you didn’t have a problem leaving the past where it was.
You came upon the object you’d been seeking tucked away in the third box. You opened it carefully, the weight surprisingly heavy in your hands. It was a picture frame, segmented into three parts that could close inward, almost like a book. An heirloom your grandmother had found at a flea market when her family had lived in New York.
It was clearly old, heavy with the weight of history, but the metalwork was delicate and beautiful. The last remains of a bygone era, a little bit tarnished and dusty but no less beautiful for it.
It reminded you of a certain other person from a bygone era.
Carefully putting away your childhood things and replacing the boxes, you went back downstairs and entered your mother’s study. The laptop on her desk was open to a webpage of a historical site regaling the Second World War. The glossy pictures you printed were still sitting in the printer’s output tray.
Taking the photos, you carefully cut them to fit the three windows of the picture frame. The pictures in them now were artistic drawings of anthropomorphic rabbits wearing whimsical, old-fashioned clothing. You carefully set them aside, planning to find new frames for your grandmother’s drawings; somewhere they could be displayed and not hidden away in the attic.
Technically, the frame was a family heirloom and probably valuable, but giving it to Bucky felt… right. He’d been a part of your life for much longer than two months, even if you hadn’t known it. The bond between you was strange, indescribable, and ran too deep to break. If that wasn’t family, you didn’t know what was.
Your mother would understand and forgive you, whenever you told her the truth. And you would tell her, someday. It was kind of unavoidable when you were dating an immortal being. You would go grey, and Bucky would always look the same…
The scissors froze halfway through a cut. What were you going to do when you grew old and withered? What happened to Bucky when you died? You’d thought about your own mortality plenty of times, but you hadn’t thought about the implications after meeting Bucky.
Would the bond break and Bucky would go on without you? Or would it hurt him. Kill him. Had the book said anything about the human slaves aging? All it had said in regards to death was they could die to protect the demon, giving the demon an extra life.
What if you couldn’t provide the energy he needed because you were too frail and gnarled with age?
What if Bucky didn’t want you when you got old?
What if—
Your jaw clenched and the scissors glided through the paper like a blade. Startled, you looked down at the photo, but thankfully you’d more or less cut straight. You stared at the photo, the last you’d chosen of the three.
A sepia photo of a handsome young man in a suit, the white dress shirt unbuttoned and showing the undershirt beneath, a familiar and easy grin on his face. Next to him, a scrawny blond boy who was much shorter, smiling reluctantly with encouragement from the brunet next to him. It was hard to believe the serious-looking boy would one day be Captain America and the young man next to him would become HYDRA’s most powerful soldier.
You carefully put the photo in one of the side frames. In the frame opposite, you placed a black and white family photo, one of Bucky, his sister, and both their parents. They were wearing their best clothes, the children on their best behavior, except the boy had an elbow pressed against his sister’s side as they both suppressed giggles.
The third photo, the one you placed in the center piece, was a simple one. A photo of Bucky in another suit, this one more formal, and his sister at his side wearing a pair of women’s trousers and a frilly blouse. They were both older than in the first photo, and according to the date, it was the summer before Bucky had been shipped out to Europe.
Bucky looked… happy. Genuinely, truly happy. You hadn’t included any photos from the war or him in uniform, though there were plenty to find. You didn’t think he’d want to be reminded of that time, and in all those pictures he’d seemed subdued, serious. It wasn’t an expression you were fond of, and the happiness he showed around his family and Steve Rogers was absent in them.
After all the pictures were secured, you leaned back and stared at them. You frowned and shifted restlessly.
What if he didn’t like it? What if it brought back painful memories he’d rather forget? You were confident that wouldn’t be the case, not after the fond way he’d talked about his family, but… reminiscing was one thing. Seeing the past staring up at you was another.
Sighing heavily, you stood and picked up the frame, closing it so only the polished metalwork was on display. It was better to get it over with, rather than stand here, frozen with the weight of doubt.
After wrapping the frame in pretty blue foil paper, you went into your old room and placed it on the bed. You took a deep breath—why were you so nervous?—and went downstairs to free Bucky from your sister’s clutches.
To your eternal shock, he didn’t look like a hostage when you found them in the kitchen. If anything, they seemed thick as thieves. Your eyes narrowed, suspicious of what tales your sister has clearly been telling.
And that’s when you froze.
Bucky was holding your infant nephew in his arms, looking for all the world like he’d done it a million times before. He didn’t look up at your arrival, his gaze entirely focused on the baby he was slowly rocking back and forth. Your nephew stared up at him with wide eyes, little chubby arms reaching up to try and grab a stray lock of hair.
You’d never experienced the phenomenon of “baby fever” before. You maybe wanted to adopt kids, sure, but have them yourself? It’d never been a priority or a desire… until that moment. The air had gone out of you like a sucker punch to the gut, replaced by yearning so strong it was a struggle to remain silent and not break the moment.
Somebody noticed your presence, though. Your sister was grinning at you like a shark from where she was leaning against the kitchen counter.
“There you are,” she practically cooed. “I was just telling Jacob about the time we snuck out of the house as kids and went to go perform ‘witchcraft’ in the middle of the woods at night.”
You made some kind of noncommittal noise, you were sure, because Bucky lifted his head and looked directly at you. Your nephew had managed to grab a lock of hair and was currently sticking it into his mouth.
Bucky didn’t notice, his entire focus on your face, a light frown forming. You still hadn’t moved or spoken.
“Did you find what you needed?” your sister asked, leaning forward to save Bucky’s hair from being eaten, lifting her son back into her arms.
“Uh. Yeah. I did.” You swallowed thickly, too much saliva in your mouth.
“Oh? What were you looking for?” Bucky approached, and when he was close enough placed a hand on your back and rubbed. The simple touch sent a white-hot flash through your system and you nearly choked.
“Nothing. I mean, something. Uh, you’ll see.”
Your sister gave you a pitying look over Bucky’s shoulder, and you communicated a silent what the fuck was that, you asshole, you know exactly what you did.
She returned the silent communique with a smug smirk, and then she drew you into a one-armed hug.
“I’m heading out, sis. Got an early drive back home in the morning. I’m gonna miss you.”
Your frustration evaporated in an instant and you returned the hug tightly.
“Drive safe,” you told her.
“You too. And call me more, or at least text!”
“I will, I promise.”
And you meant it too. You’d fallen out of touch with your family, and after appreciating everything Bucky had lost, you were going to make an effort to include him as well.
After you separated, your sister hugged Bucky with just as much enthusiasm.
“Take care of her, Jacob Miller.”
“I will.” Bucky tucked you against his side after your sister released him. Your face was on fire.
“I know you will,” she said with a conspiratorial smirk. “Because I watch a lot of crime dramas, and I know how to hide a body.”
“Oh, my God,” you groaned into a hand.
After your sister and brother-in-law said their last goodbyes and your familial humiliation was concluded, you couldn’t rush up the stairs fast enough, practically dragging Bucky behind you.
You shut the bedroom door and leaned back against it, releasing a sigh of relief, and then immediately sucked another lungful of air when Bucky crowded you against the door. His smile was amused but carried a hint of concern.
“Everything all right?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, smiling shakily as your stomach did flip-flops. It was hard to focus with Bucky so close, peering at you intently with those bright blue eyes.
“You sure?” He cupped the side of your face with a gloved hand, and you leaned into it immediately. “Because you got this weird look on your face. I didn’t go too far, did I? Your sister asked if I wanted to hold her son, and I didn’t think—“
“No, no.” You shook your head fervently, placing your hand over Bucky’s so you could squeeze it. “I’m happy you’re getting along so well with my family. Really. It’s… more than I could have asked for.”
His expression softened, the tension lines of his face smoothed out, and he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to yours. The kiss deepened when you tangled your fingers in his long hair, pulling him closer, and your knees would have buckled right then if he hadn’t been pressing you against the door.
What had started out as a chaste kiss was quickly going to end in somebody naked, so you pulled back and grinned at his noise of frustration.
“Just—hold on a sec,” you said. “I have something for you first.”
You ducked around him and approached the bed to where his gift laid waiting. Bucky was right behind you, not letting you go far as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
“What’s this?” he asked, propping his chin on top of your head.
“This… is your Christmas present.”
Another small noise of protest when you turned around and tapped it against his chest.
“You really didn’t have to,” he said with a hint of exasperation.
“Uh, you took me flying. A little gift is the least I could do.”
Bucky looked from your face to the present, as if he still couldn’t quite believe it. When was the last time someone had gotten the guy a gift? No, you didn’t want to think about that sad question or you might start crying.
He took the present from your hand, his expression still one of vague disbelief. You bit your lip to keep from smiling and ended up failing anyway. It wasn’t every day that Bucky looked so… cute. There was no other word for the little dip in his brows and the slight parting of his lips.
It was nothing to the expression he wore once he pulled open your less-than-perfect wrapping job, opened the frame, and saw what was inside.
As the seconds tick on and his face didn’t changed, where he didn’t seem to breathe, your excitement slowly drained away.
And then when his eyes grew glassy and red-rimmed, you started to panic.
“Is… is this too much?” you quickly asked. “Should I not have—Did I make a mistake?”
His guise dropped in an instant. It wasn’t gradual like it usually was; it was gone so fast you only had to blink.
Bucky wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, face buried in your hair as if to hide it. A fine tremor moved through his muscles. He was shaking.
“No. It’s—it’s perfect. I… Thank you.”
You raised your arms slowly and wrapped them around him just as carefully, holding him as close as you could. Being held in Bucky’s embrace never got old, or tiring; it was a place you could remain forever. By the desperate way he held you tight, you hoped he felt the same.
“Where… where did you even find them?” He pulled back and stared down at the picture frame, wonder on his face. No tears had fallen, but he still looked painfully fragile.
“Online.” You rested your head against his shoulder as your eyes fell to the pictures. “Museum websites. Lots of information on Captain America, of course, but quite a few on his childhood best friend.”
“Huh.”
“You’ve never googled yourself?”
“Once. Didn’t care to do it again.”
You winced. Of course, you had to go and bring up the fact most of the information on Bucky wasn’t about him, but about the Winter Soldier.
“Right. Sorry. Stupid question.”
Bucky sighed and carefully set the frame down on the nearby dresser. Without warning, he grabbed you by the back of your thighs and lifted, picking you up before setting you on the bed, swallowing down your squeal as he kissed you, open-mouthed.
You immediately went pliant, wrapping your arms and legs around him to try and get closer.
“That’s better,” he said, voice a raspy growl when he broke the kiss. His eyes were dark, pupils blown as he eyed you like a tasty meal. “Can’t beat yourself up if your mouth is too busy doing other things.”
“I can multitask,” you breathed out. Bucky grinned, a hint of sharp teeth.
“We’ll see.”
Next Chapter
141 notes · View notes
slowly-writing · 4 years
Text
Almost Lost You
Jennifer Jareau x Reader
Word count: 2.3K
Requested by: n/a
Warnings: canon typical violence
This case was stumping the entire team. The dump sites had seemingly no correlation, so Ried’s geographical profile was out the window. The MO was all over the place which made it hard to nail down a profile on the unsub. The only thing that proved these murders were connected was the flowers the unsub was leaving in the victim’s hand, and even with that you were beginning to question it all.
“Does anyone else feel like their brain is melting?” JJ groans and you feel inclined to agree.
“Your brain can’t actually melt. You could boil the water in your brain but the fatty tissues that make up the majority of it are harder to break down,” Spencer says and you smile, at least his facts are always consistent.
“That’s not what she means, Spence. It’s a metaphor. She means she’s tired of getting nowhere with the case and she feels like all the work is physically hurting her,” you explain and he nods in understanding, looking at JJ whose head is now laying on the table of the conference room the three of you have hunkered down in.
“Did you know it’s actually proven that fresh air can increase productivity and reduce stress?” Spencer pipes up again and you chuckle as you rise from your seat, grabbing JJ’s shoulders and coaxing her up.
“Good call doc. I think I’m gonna take her outside for a bit before she puts that brain melting theory to the test. You take a break too, alright? Even geniuses have a breaking point,” you wait until he agrees to stop for a bit to lead JJ outside.
“It just feels so messy. Like there’s no way to get through it all,” JJ has tears in her eyes as she looks up at you and your heart breaks at her obvious frustration. You often wonder how JJ got into a field like this, so painful and gruesome. She has such a tender heart, if you had met her outside of work you would’ve guessed she was a teacher, maybe a social worker, but certainly not a profiler whose job was to hunt down some of the worst people the world had to offer.
“I know it feels like this will never end, but it will. I promise it will, because we’re not going anywhere until we catch this creep. Hotch and Emily are interviewing the victim’s families again as we speak and Morgan and Rossi are at the crime scenes. They will all get us some more to work on and eventually we’ll nail this guy.”
“You promise?” JJ’s voice is soft and you can’t resist the urge to pull her into your arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
“I do. Are you ready to go back in?” JJ nods and you pull away, “then let’s go crack this case.”
xxxxx
“Rose Allen, Jessica Phillips, and Sara Parker have been found dead. Now I don’t know about you guys but I sure as hell don’t want a fourth name added to that list,” Morgan snaps, slamming his hand on the table. You all look up from your notes at the outburst, and none of you blame him. JJ grabs your hand under the table and it calms you both as tensions rise in the room.
“What do you think we’re doing here? None of us want this to go on. We’re trying our best,” Emily knuckles are turning white as she clenches her first.
“Okay let’s all calm down. If we all put our head together then we can crack this. So, the women disappear from their daily routines, they are gone for a week before being found in various locations with different causes of death. What does that tell us?” Hotch starts the discussion and everyone settles in to work.
“He’s obviously stalking them. He knows their routines and is able to grab them without anybody seeing,” Rossi is the first to join in and you nod along.
“And the manner of the killing isn’t important to him, as long as they die. With victim number one we have strangulation, then stabbing, and last dehydration. He doesn’t care how they die as long as he can see them suffer,” your brow is furrowed as you think out loud.
“The flowers obviously mean a lot to him, right? It’s the only consistency,” Emily jumps in and everyone voices their agreement.
“They’re yellow roses. Those symbolize friendship, maybe these women told him they just wanted to be friends?” JJ says and you think she’s onto something until Spencer speaks up.
“Historically yellow roses have a different meaning. Now they are known to symbolize friendship but they actually used to stand for infidelity or unfaithfulness. He could’ve had a childhood trauma involving an unfaithful individual that still haunts him,” Hotch perks up as Reid finishes.
“Rose and Jessica’s family members said they were having relationship troubles, Sara’s family didn’t have much to say, but with how hostile her fiancé was, I’d bet my career that their relationship was rocky,” the analysis makes sense, at least it’s a start.
“Okay, so we have an unsub targeting people whose relationships are failing. Considering he targeted the girls I’d guess they were the ones who were unfaithful, who would know if they were?” Rossi asks and you all think through the list.
“If it was me I’d only tell my closest friends,” you say and try not to wince at the way JJ’s head snaps to face you. “I’m speaking hypothetically of course. I’ve never cheated so I don’t know what it’s like in that situation. I can only make an educated guess on the thoughts and feelings the victims were having in the moment,” you stare ahead as you say it, nobody knows you and JJ are together, and this is not how you want them to find out. “That was a poor choice of words,” you say and Emily raises an eyebrow at you.
“Ignoring y/n’s over explanation of how she’s never cheated on anyone,” Emily says slowly and you avoid eye contact. “None of these women shared friends. Garcia couldn’t even find evidence that they knew each other, let alone had the same confidants.”
“When Will and I went through all that we went to a relationship counselor. Is it possible they saw the same one?” JJ asks and Garcia pipes up for the first time.
“I can have that answer in just a few moments,” the sound of a keyboard can be heard through the computer, “aha! According to their credit card records they all saw Dr. Damien who is a well renowned relationship counselor in the area. She was, however, out of state for a conference when Rose and Jessica’s bodies were found and did not return until after Sara was reported missing.”
“It could still be someone in her office. Receptionist, coworker, hell even a janitor,” Morgan seems as desperate as you all feel.
“I have a receptionist who was working during all three intake appointments, Jacob Daniels and-oh gosh-At age 8 his father murdered his mother, in the trial he claimed it was because she was cheating with the neighbor who denied the allegations. Regardless there was no family and Jacob bounced around the foster system until he aged out five years ago. Three months ago he landed a job in Dr. Damien’s office and within a month and a half the first murder was commited,” Garcia relays the information, her eyes wide.
“That would be the stressor. Hearing about the failing relationships was too much for Daniels and he snapped. Garcia, do you have an address?” Hotch asks as you all stand, grabbing your gear.
“Like you even have to ask. Be safe my lovelies,” Garcia tells you all as she ends the call.
xxxxx
“Jacob Daniels FBI! Open up!” Hotch yells as he bangs on the door. You hear a crash inside and Morgan takes that as his cue to kick open the door. You’re the first inside and Daniels freezes when he sees the guns trained on him. He may be damaged, but he knows he can’t outrun a bullet. Instead he grabs a knife and points it towards you.
“Stay back!” He yells and you raise your hands, holstering your gun before speaking.
“I just want to talk, Jacob. Can we do that?” you ask and you can see him shaking as he looks between you, Morgan, Hotch, and Ried. Everyone else is still en route.
“They needed to die,” Jacob starts and you blink in surprise as he jumps straight into it.
“Why?” he focuses more on you, relaxing despite the three guns still pointed at him. You inch forward as he begins to talk.
“They didn’t know how to love. No woman knows how to love!” He yells.
“Now that’s not a fair statement, plenty of women know what love is,” you say and you can hear the other team calling their ETA through the comms, but you’re hoping to have this wrapped up before the three minutes it will take them to get here are up.
“Do you? Know how to love? Do you have someone?” Jacob’s voice is soft, almost a whisper as he desperately tries to prove himself wrong. You’re only a few feet away now, and he’s slowly lowering the knife. If you can just get a few inches closer you can grab it.
“I do. She is the most important person in my life.” Out of the corner of your eye you can see the confusion on your team’s faces but you don’t have time to focus on them right now. “I can’t tell you why someone would cheat on the love of their life, but I can tell you I never would. A few bad people isn’t a reason to give up on love or life. They hurt people, but they didn’t hurt you Jacob,” his head snaps up and you quickly realize that was the wrong thing to say. He lunges for you and before anyone can get a shot off he has your back pressed to his chest and his knife to your throat.
“Woah calm down man!” Morgan yells, his panic alerting the rest of the team that this just went south.
“Let her go, Jacob,” Hotch’s words inform the team that he has you, the only female in the room. He doesn’t waver though, ever the calm one in the storm. You can hear the tires of the other SUV squealing to a stop outside. Lucky for you so can Daniels and you use his distraction to slam your eyebrow into his ribs. His grip on you loosens and you’re able to take him down. Morgan takes over, cuffing him as you feel a body slam into yours. JJ throws her arms around your neck and you wrap one arm around her waist, the other cradling her head as you let out a sigh of relief.
“I’m okay,” you tell her and she lets out a shaky breath before pulling away from you completely.
“You idiot!” she yells slapping your shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for?” your hand goes to the place she just smacked, though it didn't hurt much.
“Why would you get so close to him! He could’ve killed you!” She slaps your other shoulder and you groan.
“But he didn’t. I thought I could disarm him, but it's okay now. So can we just agree it was a dumb move and stop hitting me please?” you ask and JJ pulls you into a hug again. You wanna laugh at her conflicting emotions, but you know how scared she is.
“I almost lost you,” she whispers and you sigh.
“You didn’t. I know it was scary, but I’m okay.”
“I could hear the whole thing.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I promise that I’m okay. You didn’t lose me,” you tell her and she nods, pulling away again. The bubble the two of you have been in is popped as you both turn to see the whole team staring at you, Morgan apparently having passed Daniels off to local officers to make sure you were okay.
“How long has this been going on?” Morgan asks and you look to JJ.
“Six months?” you ask her and she nods. You turn back to the team and nod, “yeah, six months.”
“How did we not notice?” Rossi asks and you laugh.
“I was thinking the same thing. Some profilers you are,” JJ teases them but they all seem to be in too much shock to register it.
“So when you went on that rant about not cheating…” Emily trails off and you roll your eyes.
“Did seriously none of you notice how she was looking at me? I thought I was gonna be the next murder victim!” They all laugh and JJ looks at you.
“You ever cheat on me and you will be,” she says simply with her arm wrapped around your waist and a smile on her face.
“How do you say such aggressive things but look so cute doing it?” you ask, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “But I would never cheat on you, my love. I’d have to be an idiot to risk losing you. There’s nobody in the world I’d rather be with.”
“As cute as this is, I’m ready to get out of here,” Morgan teases and you roll your eyes.
“Let’s finish up here and we can talk more on the way home,” Hotch says and you all nod.
“And we know Garcia is gonna want all the details, I wouldn’t mind them either, so drinks when we get back?” Emily offers and you agree.
“Sounds like a plan.”
tag list: (let me know if you want to be added or taken off)
@rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff
Criminal Minds tag list: @reidingandwriting
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slashhinginghasher · 4 years
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Stargazing with the slashers
TENDER BOY HOURS
Bo Sinclair
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You knew it bothered Bo sometimes (a lot of the time) that he couldn’t take you on a real date. Real dates required money and proximity to interesting things, both of which were in short supply in Ambrose. You honestly couldn’t give a shit - you had Bo, what else could you need? - but it chafed his pride, being unable to provide something that even pimple-faced teenagers could do.
He also got defensive if you ever tried to make suggestions, so you had to be sneaky about it. You’d casually mention how your sister’s high school boyfriend had taken her stargazing, had packed a little midnight picnic, and how it was one of her favorite dates, and if Bo got inspired, then it was obviously due to the powers of his mighty intellect and creativity.
(It had actually been your high school boyfriend, but Bo didn’t need to know that. He was a jealous man; comparing him to another guy, however inadvertently, would not end well.)
So now you were cuddled up in the bed of his truck, which had been transformed into a nest of blankets. Miles from the nearest town, there was almost no light pollution, and the night sky was as crisp and clear as you’d ever seen it. The two of you had talked about this and that, nursed a few beers, eventually winding up flat on your backs, a position you rarely found yourself in with Bo unless you were asleep or...
Ah, yes, there it is.
A touch of lips on your neck, hot but fleeting, sent tingles across your skin. Bo pressed a few more kisses to your neck and jaw before sucking on that spot that drove you wild. At the sound of your blissful sigh, he raised himself up on his forearms to hover over you.
“Bo,” you scolded teasingly, “you’re blocking the view.” He flashed his signature smirk, equal parts sexy and infuriating.
“I am the view, baby.” You groaned and rolled your eyes.
“Swear to god, Sinclair,” you grumbled, fighting back a grin, “one of these days I’m gonna kick your ass.”
But you didn’t complain when he lowered his lips to yours.
Jason Voorhees
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Jason hated the lake, but he hated the idea of you wandering around alone at night more, so when you announced that you were going to go stargazing on the dock, he insisted on joining you. But now that you were actually there, you could tell he was starting to regret his decision a little. The sounds of chirping insects and the gentle lapping of the lake were almost enough to lull you to sleep. Jason, by contrast, was as stiff as the boards he lay on.
Your heart gave a painful little squeeze. You hated seeing him so unhappy. You almost wanted to tell him to head back to the cabin, but were afraid he’d think you didn’t want his company. Instead, you reached over and took his hand.
“See those three stars?” you said, pointing with your other hand. “The ones in a straight line? That’s Orion’s belt. He was a mighty hunter. So mighty that the gods put him in the sky to live forever after he died on Earth.” You felt Jason relax, just a little. Encouraged, you pointed to a bright star near the Belt. “And that’s Sirius, his dog.”
You pointed out other constellations and stars you knew: the Big and Little Dippers, the North Star, the Seven Sisters, Betelgeuse. You told him the stories behind their names, which were probably half wrong, but he’d never know or care. Soothed by the touch of your hand and the soft sound of your voice, the tension slowly seeped out of Jason’s body until all thoughts of drowning were replaced by the stars, and you.
Maybe the lake wasn’t so bad after all.
Asa Emory
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Asa wasn’t doing a lot of things right now. He wasn’t letting the dogs spend extra time out of their kennel because the brush of their noses against your hands made you smile. He wasn’t thinking about how cute the way your furrowed your brow in concentration was as you pored over star charts and fiddled with lens focus dials. And he definitely wasn’t admiring how great your ass looked in those jeans.
Nope. Definitely wasn’t doing that.
He’d bought you the telescope on a whim, which in Asa’s world meant after weeks of research instead of months. You were something of an amateur astronomer; the intricate mathematics of orbits and light refraction escaped you, but you’d always loved the stars. Childhood trips to the planetarium, camping trips in the mountains, an epic road trip once to view a solar eclipse. The sky was your happy place. Asa was your happy place, too, but he wasn’t always around. The stars were, every night without fail.
You’d lit up like the sun when he’d set the heavy box in front of you with zero comment or explanation. You’d squealed and thrown your arms around him, and if you’d been looking at his eyes, you’d have seen something that almost looked like tenderness.
Now you were set up in Asa’s backyard, searching for Jupiter. It was trickier than you expected - there was a lot of sky - but excitement tempered your frustration. You had read the telescope’s user manual cover to cover - twice - and pulled up maps of the night sky from no fewer than four different sites. You never half-assed things you cared about, a trait that Asa both understood and admired.
“Asa!” you shrieked. “Asa, I’ve found it! You’ve gotta see this!” You’re practically bouncing with excitement as he peers through the eyepiece. “Do you see that little dot near the middle? That’s Io, one of the moons.” Asa nods, stepping back and allowing you to resume your admiration of the distant planet. As you continue to gush over the cloud bands, the Great Red Spot, the tiny moons, a faint smile appears on his lips. Perhaps he’ll start acting on his whims more frequently in the future.
Thomas Hewitt
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“Mama? D’you think Thomas and I could have the night off tomorrow? There’s gonna be a meteor shower and I wanna show him.” You and Luda Mae are working through a mountain of dishes side by side at the kitchen sink.
“How’d you know it’s gonna happen tomorrow?” Luda Mae asks.
“It comes every year around this time,” you reply. “My daddy and I used to watch it every summer when I was little. I just thought Tommy might like to see it.” Luda Mae’s face softens. Playing on her motherly tendencies does that.
“Well, ain’t that sweet. Course you can, dear.” She shakes a wooden spoon at you. “And don’t let Tommy give you no for an answer. That boy works too hard as it is.”
-
The Texas heat is a lot more bearable when the sun is down. You and Thomas are propped up on the rusty hood of one of the wrecked cars that dot the lawn. He’d been confused when you pulled him towards the front door after dinner, but a sharp look from Luda Mae quelled any protest he might have made.
“Look!” You grab Thomas’s arm as a thin streak of white flashes across the sky. More and more meteors fill the sky, until they’re coming nearly every minute. You ooh and aah over the brighter ones, oblivious to the fact that your hand is still gripping Thomas’s arm.
Thomas, on the other hand, is very aware of your warm skin on his.
“This was always my favorite part of the year,” you sigh after a particularly bright meteor. “I always wished on shooting stars and there’s so many of them now, I figure if I wished for the same thing on each one, at least one of them’s gotta work, you know?” You glance over at Thomas and are once again struck breathless, this time by the intensity in his blue eyes. Your cheeks heat and you return your gaze to the sky, moving your hand away from his arm.
An hour or more passes, the silence between growing thicker with each minute. You’re beginning to wonder if you made a mistake, if Thomas really didn’t want to be here with you.
A large, tentative hand brushes your cheek with aching tenderness, turning your face back to Thomas. He seems to be steeling himself for something, and before you can ask what’s wrong, he leans over and brushes his lips against yours. The kiss is chaste, but it sets your heart racing, and when you lay a hand on Thomas’s chest, you can feel his galloping along as well. It’s an eternity and an instant before he pulls back, slowly.
“Wow,” you whisper with a smile as bright as a shooting star. “It came true.”
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simplicity1511 · 4 years
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Yashahime EPISODE 1 Review
I just finished the first episode of Yashahime and OMFG!!!!!!!
There are so many emotions running through me right now as someone who watched the original series on YTV Bionix. I remember being like 5 and 6 and staying up late to watch it, sometimes even falling asleep before it aired. It’s original air time was 11pm but by the time I was around 8-9 years old, the show started airing at 9pm. 
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I remember asking my aunt to wait up until I finished my favorite show before I went to bed because we were going to the airport that night to visit my cousin who had recently given birth to her second kid and I was tagging along. I remember it being the episode Kohoku regains his memories. Good thing I didn’t miss it but I sure do remember being disappointed that I wasn’t seeing InuYasha and the gang that episode.
Speaking of our boy Kohoku, it looks like he has a new weapon (that is correct, ladies and gents, our boy appears in the first episode!!) However, not adult Kohaku, our itty bitty boy from the original series.
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For those that didn’t get a chance to read the manga, there's an epilogue chapter that deals with the root demon that our gang ends up fighting in the first episode and it appears to have maybe merged with the Tree of Ages. I suspect this because it shows a hole in the tree in the same location as Kikyo’s arrow had been when she shot InuYasha to it. I’m curious to see what shit this root ends up stirring.
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However, the most interesting thing I discovered was not from the episode itself but  from the opening sequence as well as the next episode preview. From the looks of it, it appears as if all three girls have a pearl, Towa’s is Silver, Setsuna’s is Gold and Moroha is Red. Now given the fact that in the original series pearls played a role not once but twice in the series, both in the beginning and end, and they appear multiple times in the opening and ending sequences of the show, we know they're going to play an important role. 
The first time they appear in the original series is when our sexy Sesshomaru was trying to look for Tessaiga. In this case, the pearl was located in InuYasha’s eye and led to the land of the dead which is where we come across the bones of Inu-Pops.
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The second time is when they looked for one of the last shards of the jewel which just happened to have been in the possession of the demon who created the pearl who was also located at the grave of our beloved Inu-Pops.
We also know that this demon had a son who was continuing his work at creating pearls as this is how we learn that his father, who had created InuYasha’s pearl, had already died. The most logical conclusion is the son most likely created the pearls for our three ladies. 
Another thing to keep in mind is that in the opening song, you will notice that at some point Towa’s eye starts glowing, and it has a similar appearance as InuYasha’s did when we see the pearl first appear. We know these pearls have strange abilities and for whatever reason each girl was given one. Given the fact that the girls have no knowledge of their parents, it appears that this was most likely hatched by our boys to help their daughters in whatever way possible. Much in the same way Inu-Pops gave his two swords, Tessaiga and Tenseiga to his two sons to protect them and teach them something even if he wasn’t around to do it.
Now speaking of our boys, Sesshomaru is still as sexy as ever and it appears as if he tries to stay close to the village in order to reach Rin as swiftly as possible. That or he has some teleportation ability we don’t know about but with how fast he moves, he might as well have it.
For those of us who grew up with InuYasha being torn between Kagome and Kikyo and the constant conflict that it caused throughout the series, it was kinda refreshing to see it again and see how they both behaved as adults regarding those emotions
I found Kagome’s handling of it really fascinating because by this point she’s already sorted out her feelings for Kikyo, yet InuYasha still thinks that Kikyo causes Kagome pain which in the beginning she did but Kagome has moved past that pain and she knows who she is as a person beyond just being her reincarnation. 
I think it’s further indicated when we first see Kagome and she shows the twins a kikyo root which is supposed to be good for coughs and fevers. When it panels to Sango we can see the surprise on her face as to hearing Kagome mention Kikyo’s name (you know it was an intentional  reference especially if you’ve read the manga and know what kind of demon Miroku and InuYasha  are fighting). Knowing this, still didn’t keep me from being surprised. I feel like just like the plant, Kagome has come to admire Kikyo’s strength as a priestess, something she’s trying to achieve herself as a Priestess in Training.
The original series dealt with a lot of Kagome’s identity being referenced as Kikyo and other characters trying to erase her individuality as just another copy of Kikyo. Something that Naruku did pretty frequently especially using the feelings Kagome had towards InuYasha against them on multiple occasions using Kikyo.
Just like how in the first episode of the original series where InuYasha kept calling Kagome, Kikyo when they first met, Kagome has to tell off the root demon and clarify that she is Ka-go-me, NOT Kikyo. 
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I really liked all the symbolism this episode had and the references to the original series especially given that Towa ends up encountering a broken seat from a bike in the Feudal Era and as we know Kagome has had her bike destroyed and replaced, many a times throughout the series. 
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The fact that Towa is someone whose been raised in the future by the brother of the woman who travels to the past is very interesting given the fact that she is the daughter of Seshomaru whose InuYasha’s older brother who besides Kagome was the only other person to be able to travel in time.
I’m wondering what makes InuYasha/Sesshomaru’s blood special as it appears as if all three girls were able to travel to the future so if Seshomaru himself had tried going through the bone eaters well, could he too have travelled to the future like InuYasha? 
Kagome was able to travel due to the Jewel of Four Souls and once that was destroyed her connection to the past was severed so I’m curious to see how the past and future end up connecting the three girls together because it was Kagome and InuYasha’s love in the end that reopened the well three years later. However, we know in the current timeline that the well is closed which makes me wonder what kind of fate these three girls share as the Half Demon Princesses (also Princesses of what may I ask?)
On a final note, in both series there are demon birds, the first a carrion crow demon who likes shiny things like the jewel, another an owl who is wise and has knowledge of the past. I suspect that this demon will play a key role in how this story ends up progressing, much in the same way the crow did.
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Being a long time fan of the show, I remember being really sad when the series ended and frustrated when they didn’t defeat Naraku by the end of the original anime run. My head would constantly have ideas of what their future would have been like once the pesky fellow was dead and once I had gotten a computer (at age 11) and I discovered manga sites, I finally got an answer to my question.
Then a few years later, teenage me finally got those last chapters animated. I was finally blessed with my ending so I’ll be real frank with you when I say I was not happy this show was coming. While everyone else was freaking out that Seshomaru fucked someone, I was wondering, what could have caused Kagome and InuYasha to abandon their daughter which would be totally out of character for the both of them especially given InuYasha’s childhood. I doubt he would have abandoned his daughter given having lost his mother at such a young age himself and never knowing who his dad was until much later in his life. He would never want his own daughter to experience the loneliness and struggle he did before he met Kagome, Sango and Miroku.
Now having watched the first episode I can’t say my fears are dissipated for this unwanted sequel series as we have yet to know what happened so the possibility that its a shitty reason for why Moroha is alone is still high meaning the possibly my favorite characters are shit on is still there.
This series means a lot given the time I watched InuYasha my family had recently immigrated to Canada and while most people were into Pokemon at my age, which don’t get me wrong, I was too. 
I was far more fascinated by a girl who travelled through time in a fantasy world where she meets a cute dog demon boy and develops strong friendships, a budding romance and never loses herself. To a little girl who was also in a strange new country of her own, she was my role model. 
She’s the reason I wanna learn archery at some point in my life and helped me to grow to be the strong independent woman I am today.
Even at 24 years of age, this is still my favorite series and I love all the symbolism and references to the old series while also having its own fresh perspective that Yashahime provides. It doesn’t mean that my skepticism has been cured.
When I watched InuYasha, I got Kagome, Sango, Kikyo, Kaede and Kagura (her death is still so beautifully tragic) and now a whole new generation of girls are going to get Towa our leader, the calm and cool collected Setsuna and our charge first and ask questions later Moroha (just like her dad :’). I can’t wait to see how they grow and hopefully how their beloved parents grew.
InuYasha for me was my first conceptual understanding of anime and where my love for it came from. I’m looking forward to seeing how this story progresses. But I won’t be afraid of criticizing it regardless of the good first impression I got.
Also, does anyone else get reminded of Miroku’s wind tunnel when they see InuYasha’s Meido Zangetsuha? Just me?
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Now time to listen to that opening and ending on repeat.
See You Next Week!
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