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villainousshakespeare · 4 years

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Putting It Back Together Chapter 1

Adam/OFC

Rated M (will probably change to E) - Grief, angst, eventual smut, mention of characters dead before the start of the story

Summary: Since the death of his beloved Eve, Adam had been barely living, only alive due to a promise he made to her. Then one night he meets his new neighbor, a woman dealing with grief of her own. Will they help each other heal or drive each other crazy?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions

So I decided to take a crack at Adam. The plan is to have this be around 10 chapters, but that is just a guess at the moment. It starts a little angsty, but will lighten up as it goes along. Hope you enjoy!

If you would like on or off the tag list, please let me know!

It was more of a mist than a drizzle adding chill to the late autumn air as he walk through the dark streets. Even this time of night there were noises of fellow wanders, zombies he was sure, but he managed to keep from the streets where they roamed. The last thing he needed was to be confronted with the mindlessness of what passed for humanity in these times.

That was the trade off of life in the city. The need to constantly dodge others was barely offset by the convenience of shops open late and services not bound by the constraints of daylight. Not that Adam needed many services of others. He was in most ways self sufficient. He had worked for centuries to make it so. With but two exceptions - sustenance and music - he had only ever needed one soul besides his own.

She was gone now, his Eve. Eleven years had passed since she had taken a glass of tainted blood in Tangier. It seemed like yesterday, it seemed like a lifetime. He wished it were his lifetime. Only a promise dragged out of him at her death bead had kept him from following her into oblivion. She had used every trick she possessed, every weakness she knew in him, to get him to agree to her demand, and now he was trapped, bound by a promise to another century on this blighted earth. Eighty-nine more revolutions until he could use the wooden bullet that lay heavy in breast pocket and end his grief.

He had wandered after she left him. Angry and bitter, he had left Africa and roved across the globe. Everywhere he went, though, there were memories. He saw her everywhere in Europe. The Middle East was littered with memories. Even South America echoed a life spent together.

Finally he had come back to America. She had not spent as much time in the States. It was easier here. He had considered Seattle, New Orleans, Memphis, the various musical centers of the country, but in the end New York had drawn him in. Strange, he had never spent much time here. Too many zombies too close together. And yet, he could not deny it had definite advantages, and for the most part no one paid any attention to what anyone else did.

He arrived at last at the brownstone in the East Village where he lived his weary life. He was excited, or at least as excited as he was capable of these days, to test out the Rickenbacker bass guitar that he had stumbled upon in a pawn shop. The owner had no idea how rare the model was, and had not known how to react to the large roll of cash that Adam had thrust at him for the instrument.

Quickly shucking his black leather jacket, Adam took out he new prize and lovingly stroked the light grained wood. He could feel the decades of music that it had produced still reverberating through the body. He flicked a series of toggles and buttons to power up his sound system and plugged the Rickenbacker in. Closing his eyes he placed his fingers firmly on the frets and plucked out a rapid series of low notes, loving the reverberation and full tones it produced. Just as he began to segue into an actual song, however, a loud bang sounded and the lights, sound, and all other electronic power went dead.

"Shit!" he spit out, mood collapsing back in on itself as quickly as it had risen.

Setting the bass gently back in its case despite his irritation, Adam fumbled through his belongings until he located his tool box. After attaching his head torch and grabbing a second flash light just in case, he made his way down the hall to the ladder that lead up through a hatch onto the roof where a small shed held the electric box for his home.

"Just what I fucking need," he muttered, pulling himself onto the tarred surface.

He was just picking his tools back up when a loud creaking noise drew his attention. Just a few feet away, a second hatch door had opened, and a shape was pulling itself up and onto the roof with some difficulty, judging by the swearing. Adam watched in dismay as the shape unfolded itself to reveal a woman silhouetted against the half moon. She had a large, over bright flashlight in her hands that waved back and forth as she made her way to the shed that was his own destination.

"Who are you?" he asked, intercepting her before she could reach the structure.

"Ohmyfuckinggod!" she cried out, jumping almost a foot as he appeared in front of her.

Adam crossed his arms and waited silently for her to calm down, mouth drawn down into a habitual scowl.

"You scared me half to death!" she told him needlessly when she had regained some of her composure.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Oh, you know, just signaling Batman that evil is afoot," she said dryly, waving her oversized lamp back and forth.

Adam continued to stare at her, unamused, until she sighed and gave him a real answer.

"I'm checking out the fuse box. Are you from 89? You must be, I guess. So your lights are out too? It doesn't look like it's the whole block, just our two buildings. Hopefully flipping the switch will bring them back on."

"There's no need for you to trouble yourself," he told her when she finally stopped talking. "I have things well in hand. The power should be on shortly."

"Great," she said with a forced smile.

She didn't move. Why was she still standing there? Adam glowered at her, hoping to scare her off, but the brainless girl just stood there.

"Did you need something else?" he asked reluctantly.

"No, just the one thing," she replied, blinking at him. "Shall we get to it?"

"This will hardly take two," he ground out. "And I know how the system works."

He should! He had redone the entire wiring himself. The convoluted system of shorting wires and faulty circuits had been a travesty when he moved in. It had taken him almost a month to tear it out and build a more streamlined, efficient energy grid. The only problem now was when he forgot himself and pulled too much power for the subpar wiring in the wall to take. He had considered redoing that as well, but it would take time and draw attention, which he was keen on avoiding.

"Wonderful, then you can show me," she chirped at him. "After all, you may not be here the next time it goes off, and then I won't know how it works."

She was not going to let this go, he could tell from the deceptively stubborn set of her shoulders. With a roll of his eyes that he doubted her human eyes could catch in the darkness, he turned on his heel and walked over to the shed. Let her look at it, he decided. It was not like she would understand what he had done anyway.

"Woah," the nattering woman whistled as he opened the door. "That is not what I was expecting at all! It looks like some form of microhydraulics, but there's no way you could have a water source up here. What are you using?"

Adam turned and stared at her, really looking at her for the first time. She was short, even for a woman, not even coming up to his chin. Her hair was haphazardly tied into a bunch on the top of her head and looked like it would be bigger than she was if she were to let it down. The eyes she turned up towards him were inquisitive and sharp. She was pretty, he thought, for a zombie.

"How do you know about that?" he asked.

"I tinker," she said with a shrug. "When I'm anxious. Which is a lot of the time lately, to be honest. Too much energy. Sometimes it helps to take things apart an put them back together again."

Adam opened his mouth to respond, but realized he had no idea what he planned on saying. He closed it again and turned back to his contraption.

"Well, don't get any ideas about taking this apart," he grumbled, resetting the mechanism.

"No, I wouldn't," she assured him. "I only mess with my own things until I'm sure I can get them back the way they started. I learned that the hard way. This is really amazing. You are pulling in a boat load of energy. I just hope you don't burn the buildings down when it runs into the wiring. You're a musician, right? I've heard you practicing through the walls. I was so relieved you were good!"

Did this woman never stop talking? Despite his lack of response she seemed perfectly content to stand behind him, shining her flood light on the shed as he worked to get things running again.

"Oh! I see what you did there!" she commented brightly as the low hum of electricity started back up. "That should fix it. And I'm pretty sure I will be able to do that myself next time too!"

"Don't," he ordered, shutting the door with a loud clang. "If there is any problem with the power, I will fix it. I don't need someone else ruining my work."

"But if you're not here?" she repeated doggedly.

"Look, this has never been an issue before, why are you suddenly on my case about it now?"

"I didn't live here before," she answered. "I just moved in last week. This... this was my Grandmother's home. She died. Last week. I'm trying to sort it all now but..."

The light from his headtorch clearly lit up the tears that sprang to her eyes. As Adam stood there in horror, the girl's chin began to wobble and silent sobs hiccupped through her body. A moment later she had burst out crying. Adam, unable to think of anything else to do, slowly and gingerly put one arm around her shaking shoulders and patted her lamely on the back, wishing he could be anywhere else in the world.

***

Lilly woke up completely horrified. It had been a dream, she told herself. It had to have been a dream. That was the only way she was going to survive the events of the night before.

The soreness in her eyes and the streaks of mascara on the backs of her hands, unfortunately, told her the sad truth. It had been real. She had met her dark, handsome, mysterious neighbor, the one who played dark, mysterious music at all hours of the night, on a dark, mysterious rooftop. (Well, okay, maybe the rooftop hadn't been that mysterious, but still!) And what had she done? She had wept all over him like pathetic child.

This, she sighed to herself, was one of the many many reasons why she was single. Any normal girl would have played the damsel in distress, fluttered their eyes and let him be their hero. He certainly had the looks of a brooding hero, even if he seemed to lack the inclination. Of course, it might just be that he lacked the inclination because she had yammered on about anxiety and tinkering, and her grandmother's death and the cried all over him.

Groaning, she rolled over and looked at her clock, only to be greeted by blinking numbers. Of course. She had been too upset when he had finally managed to steer her back to her roof hatch and rid himself of her, lost in a combination of grief and humiliation, to reset it. Great. That meant that the alarm had never gone off. It could be any time now. A quick glance at her phone confirmed her fear. 4:00 in the afternoon. It had happened. She had become completely nocturnal.

Slowly dragging herself up, Lilly staggered to the bathroom and tried to let the hot water wash away her misery. She was tired of feeling miserable. By nature she was not a gloomy person. Anxious, yes, but not gloomy. It was just being here, in the house that once was her happy place but now held too many memories. All she could see where ever she looked was her beloved grandmother. Playing the piano, reading in the window nook, cooking in the large, renovated kitchen. Grandma Lillian was everywhere.

Growing up, Lilly had been an awkward child; small of body but big of personality Gran had said. She was always moving, either her hands or her mouth, having a hard time with stillness. It drove many people to distraction. Grandma Lillian, however, had stated quite matter of factly that she simply had a lot to do and more to say, and therefore needed to do it quickly.

Lilly had spent all of her summers and school vacations here, escaping into the city. Here, she could be herself. With all of the characters in New York City, she was far from the oddest. Grandma Lillian let her patter away happily, always taking her words seriously. She had also found all sorts of mechanical things for Lilly to tinker with, focusing her energy in a more productive direction. It was nonsense, she had opined, that girls were not encouraged more to go into the technical fields. Obviously that was the reason why nothing in this world ran properly.

She had hidden her illness from the family, from Lilly, until the very end. Lilly cursed herself that she had not seen through the excuses for the cancelled visits. A seniors cruise with her girlfriends! She could not imagine the opinionated woman stuck on a boat without someone going overboard. It wasn't until the very end, when she was had been taken to Hospice, that she had phoned Lillian to let her know that it was time to come and visit.

That was eight days ago. Lillian had held her hand at the end, singing in her tear choked voice the torch songs that her Grandmother had once made her living crooning in the night clubs of the city. It had not taken long. Less than a day and Lilly was alone, the owner of a house in the East Village and more money than she had ever imagined possessing, but much the poorer regardless.

The ensuing week was spent puttering around the brownstone, listlessly going through desks and dressers, boxes and cupboards. The memorabilia of a lifetime squirreled away into any available space. She had no need to work at the moment, which was good since she had no employment. Slowly but surely her own night owl tendencies had taken over and she was staying up until the sun streaked the horizon in the morning, only to bed down for the majority of the day. Her parents had always fretted and said it was a sign of depression. Gran had shrugged and agreed that the most exciting things happened at night.

The only excitement Lillian had experienced thus far had been the discovery that a new owner was in residence next door. For as long as she could remember there had been a constant stream of college and conservatory students renting out rooms in the building, turning over each year to the newest crop. Now though, there was one lodger only and he owned the building.

She had caught sight of him out the front window as he was leaving her second night there. Long, wild black hair that looked in want of brushing, black leather jacket, and black jeans that might have been painted on. He was tall, lean, and somehow dangerous looking. It was the way he walked, she decided. There was something almost feral in the swagger as he took off down the street. The next night she had heard him playing music.

At first she thought there were multiple musicians, but after hours spent guiltlessly eavesdropping she became convinced that it was only him. Interspersed with guitars, drums, bass, and other instruments that she couldn't name had come his voice, a distinctive low growl that cut through her sorrow to go straight to her core. She could feel the vibrations of his voice as surely as she heard the bass thumping through the walls.

She began haunting the window overlooking their stoops, hoping for sight of him. She caught glimpses a time or two, always late at night, well after dark. Rather he was coming in or going out, he seemed to eschew the daylight even more than she did. Lilly felt drawn to him, and by more than just his untamed beauty. She supposed she could write it off as one of her hyper-fixations, but intuitively she sensed it was more. She longed for an excuse to meet him.

And then she had. At night, on a roof, under a bright moon.

It would have been perfectly romantic, were she not dressed in a ratty sweatshirt and yoga pants, her hair flopped up any old way on her head. If her first words to him were not gasped out in a shriek, followed by thoughtless prattle. And the, the coup de gras, her sobbing breakdown. The look of unmixed horror on his face as he made his feeble attempt to calm her was burned into Lilly's brain.

She had to get rid of it. There might only be one chance to make a first impression, but maybe, just maybe, a second impression could in time supersede it. Never one to sit on a thought, Lilly squared her shoulders. It was six o'clock, he was bound to still be in. She would pay him a visit and apologize for her horrid behavior.

Yes, that was the plan. After all, what was the worst that could happen? It was bound to go better than last time.

#adam olla #Adam/OFC #Tom Hiddleston #Fic #Only Lovers Left Alive #OLLA #angst #anxiety #eventual smut #grief #will lighten up #I promise #smut to come

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harley-sunday · 4 years

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Encore [02]

Summary: The new Disney+ show ‘Encore’ brings together former castmates of a high school musical, tasking them with re-creating their original performance in a high school reunion like no other. Emotions run high as you face faded friendships, long-forgotten controversies, killer choreography, and an ex-boyfriend you haven’t seen in eighteen years.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader [unnamed OFC, nicknamed ‘Ace’)

Warnings: Language

Word count: 8.5k

AN: As promised, here’s part 2. Hope you like it, please let me know what you think :)

Masterlist

It’s all been pretty hectic from the moment you walked into the theater room just before five, with Adam immediately ushering you off to the cafeteria where dinner is about to be served. You end up on the other end of the table from Chris before you even had a chance to say hello to him. You keep stealing glances in his direction to try and find out if he’s as nervous about having to make out on stage in a couple of hours but he seems too caught up in whatever story Johnny’s telling him to notice.

You’ve just finished your main course when Coy suddenly stands up and claps his hands to get your attention, “Everyone, I just wanted to take this moment to thank you for all the hard work you’ve done over the past four days.” He nods towards Adam en Kelly, “We went into this project unsure of what to expect, but you’ve proven to be a worthy cast and we have no doubt that you will put on an amazing show tonight!”

People start to clap, but he raises his hands to stop them, “We have one very special guest who will be joining us tonight, who I think deserves your applause even more.”

The door opens and in walks Mrs Linton and all of a sudden everyone claps, you included, and then there are tears in your eyes because you didn’t think you’d ever see her again. Chris is the first to greet her and you watch him give her a hug and then smile at something she says.

She makes her way down the table, greeting everyone with a hug and some encouraging words, and you patiently wait your turn but she now walks with a cane and so it takes a little longer. Her smile grows wider when she sees you and you carefully wrap your arms around her.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you here,” Mrs Linton says once you’ve let go of her. Someone pulls up a chair for her and she sits down next to you, her cane resting against her knee. “I honestly thought you’d never come back.”

“You and me both,” you confess with a smile, “but I’m glad I did.” You risk a quick glance at Chris, who nods at you from across the table, making you smile, and of course Mrs Linton knows exactly what is going on.

“So I take it you two have finally made things right?”

“We’re getting there,”

“Well good,” she says as she pats your knee, “you know I’ve always been rooting for you two.”

Before you have a chance to find Chris you’re told to go to make-up and wardrobe, where they transform you into Rizzo in no time. You’re sent off to the backstage area then, where most of your castmates are already waiting for some final instructions from Coy. Michael, Johnny, and Chris walk in next and you can’t help but smile when you see them in their T-Birds jackets and elephant trunk hairstyles.

Coy claps his hands to get everyone’s attention, “Listen up, everybody, we have ten minutes until showtime and I just wanted to tell you to have fun out there. You got this, you’ve worked extremely hard and we all,” he looks at Adam and Kelly, who are both nodding fervently, “have confidence in you. Break a leg!”

There are cheers and hugs and maybe some tears, and in the chaos of it all you find Chris and give him a hug, “Good luck out there.”

He pulls you even closer, “Go knock ‘em dead, Rizzo.”

“How you holding up?”

Unlike Monday, this time you do answer, “I feel like I’m about to throw up.”

“You’ll be fine,” he says from somewhere over your shoulder. He pokes your side then, “At least wait until after the break, Ace, we need to make out first, remember?”

You want to say something, really you do, a witty retort maybe, or just your regular spiel, but the promise of it all is too much and so the only thing you can do is watch him walk on stage a few seconds later, quietly shaking your head.

Nicole joins you not much later but doesn’t say anything and you are more grateful for that than she’ll ever know. Instead, she gives you a gentle push when it’s your cue and tells you to go for it.

You find Chris on the right side of his stage, in what is supposed to be Kenickie’s car, and you join him in the made-up backseat, where he throws his arm around your shoulders immediately. It all feels oddly familiar and yet so new at the same time but there’s no time to explore that right now. You make it through the scene with ease, the banter between you two like second nature.

He finishes his last line then and all of a sudden your mouth goes dry because you know what’s coming next. He gives you a wink right before he leans in and lets his lips brush against yours. They let Chris keep his beard, even though technically Kenickie should be clean-shaven, and so there’s a new sensation to the kiss that you haven’t experienced before.

You want to take it slow, relish in the moment of this second first kiss for as long as possible, but then you feel his hand on your hip, giving it a gentle squeeze to let you know it’s your cue, and you remember you have a performance to give.

Putting your hands in his hair you pull him even closer, pushing yourself against him, exaggerating your every move and you can hear the audience react, loud cheers coming from the back where you know his family is seated. You smile against his lips but keep yours closed because you want there to be a promise of something more, later, when it’s just the two of you and you’re not on a stage for the world to see.

He pulls back then, because the script says he should, but there’s a mischievous look in his eyes that tells you he’s enjoying this just as much as you are. Pushing you down, so your back hits the bench you’ve been sitting on until now, he kisses you.

You’re hardly capable of forming a coherent thought, so the fact that you remember that the script calls for you to throw your leg in the air and wrap it around him is some sort of miracle. His weight is on you now and it’s not entirely unpleasant and so you pull him down even more. It’s a good thing you’re hidden from view from the audience, you muse, the cardboard cut out of the car high enough to only show Chris’ head and back and your hands in his hair.

There’s a beep from the side of the stage then, letting you know the curtain is about to close for intermission and so you push Chris off you, his hair messy and a hint of your lipstick on his lips. He grins and from the way he tilts his head at you, you can tell he’s back into character, “You ok there, Riz?”

You get up and out of the car, trying your best to channel Rizzo when you shrug and say, “I’ve had better.”

The audience cheers as the curtain closes for intermission and just as the stage lights turn off he comes up behind you and takes your hand, pulling you towards him in the darkness that slowly falls on you. Letting go of your hand then, he cups your face and even in the dark you can see the way he looks at you, his eyes falling to your lips, quietly asking for permission.

You hesitate and quietly tell him, “Not here.”

He nods, letting you know he understands, and instead presses his lips against your forehead softly.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur and before you know it the entire cast is gathered on stage to receive a standing ovation, loud cheers coming from all throughout the crowd. You’re somewhere in the middle of the line, Nicole on one side and Chris on the other, and can’t help but get a little teary-eyed when you see Mrs Linton give you a thumbs up from the front row.

When the curtain finally falls it’s a quiet for a moment, until Michael pumps his fist in the air and yells out, “Fuck yeah! We did it!”

More cheers erupt then and Nicole pulls you in for a hug, “We did it, babe.”

You smile against her shoulder, “We sure did, Nic.”

There are some people clapping then and when you turn around you see Coy and his team on the side of the stage, giving you another round of applause.

“That was amazing, guys,” Coy says with a wide smile.

“We’re very proud of all of you,” Adam agrees. He looks at Coy, who nods, before he continues, “We just wanted to let you know that your family and friends are waiting for you next door, so go, get changed, and then we’ll meet you there after.”

There’s no one waiting for you in the music room, your parents somewhere in the Carribean on their annual cruise, and so you are feeling a little lost until you spot Mrs Linton, who waves you over.

“What a great performance,” she tells you when you join her, “maybe even better than the one you did all those years ago.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you sticking around Sudbury for a little while longer?”

You shake your head, “I’m flying back to Philadelphia on Sunday.”

“Promise me you’ll come back some day,” she raises her eyebrows at you, “so we can catch up properly?”

You’re just about to tell her you will when someone taps your shoulder and you can’t help but smile when you turn around and see Scott, Chris’ brother, standing behind you. Before you have a chance to say anything he’s pulled you in for a hug and whispers, “You came back.”

“I did,” you agree, rubbing his back. You pull back a little and smile up at him, “It’s really good to see you again.”

You and Scott were in the same year of high school but didn’t have any classes together until your junior year. Your shared hatred of Mr Mulligan, your math teacher, made you instant friends and it was actually at Scott’s fifteenth birthday party where you first met Chris, who was seventeen at the time. After an awkward first date at the roller skate rink exactly ten days later, because that’s how long it took him to work up the nerve to ask you out, Chris kissed you for the first time and asked you to be his girlfriend. Breaking up with Chris and leaving Sudbury so suddenly also meant you lost touch with Scott, which you’ve always regretted.

Scott lets go of you and greets Mrs Linton like they’re old friends, which seems odd until you remember he did theater in your senior year, when you had lost all interest in the art without Chris around, who by then had graduated. Mrs Linton excuses herself then, tells you it’s time for her to go home, but not until she makes you promise you’ll keep in touch this time.

You risk a quick glance around the room once she’s left, but other than your cast mates there aren’t any other familiar faces and so you turn to Scott, “Is your mom here?”

He shakes his head, “She had to leave right after the show.”

“Oh,” there’s nothing you can do to hide the disappointment in your voice, because you now realize you were actually looking forward to seeing her again.

“She did want me to ask if you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night, though.”

“Oh, I’d love that,”

“I’ll let her know,” he says with a smile.

You try your hardest to act casual when you ask, “And Chris?”

“He’s right over there,” Scott says with a grin, eyeing you suspiciously, as he points to somewhere on his left, “I don’t why but he’s talking to that bitch Jessica Mullen-”

“Scott-” you gasp, slapping his arm.

“What?” He shrugs, grinning, “Don’t tell me you suddenly like her now?”

You just shake your head, lips pursed, not commenting on it any further.

He gently nudges your shoulder, “Oh come on, he’s only got eyes for you anyway, so there’s nothing to worry about. Plus I think she’s very happily married to Joey Burton and his family inheritance, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know-” you try, but your voice comes out just a little too pitchy to make it believable and you can’t help but laugh. “Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he scoffs, teasing you.

It’s then you see Chris coming towards you, so you throw Scott a look that you hope tells him to behave.

“Hey,” Chris says once he’s close enough, smiling when he looks at you.

“Hi,”

“Awkward,” Scott whispers in a sing-song way somewhere next to you, making sure it’s loud enough for both you and Chris to hear.

You want to ignore it, act as if that didn’t just happen, but you can’t help yourself and so you flick Scott’s arm to let him know you’re not above kicking his ass if need be.

“So uh,” Chris runs a hand through his hair, trying his hardest to ignore his brother, before nodding somewhere over his shoulder, “looks like everyone’s going to Hardy’s for some celebratory drinks.” He looks back at you then, “You’re coming, right?”

“I don’t know, I’d have to drive back,” you say, coming up with the excuse almost automatically. It’s not that you don’t want to go, it’s just that you don’t really see the point if you can’t have a few drinks while you’re there.

“I’ll drive,” Scott pipes up then, most likely trying to redeem himself. He grins, “Yeah. I’ll drive. We’ll drop your car off at your hotel first and then I’ll be the designated driver for the rest of the night.” He nudges you when he sees you hesitate, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

You look at Chris for backup, but he just stares at you with a mischievous smile, eyebrows raised, and so you can’t help but give in, “Ok. Yes. Fine. Let’s go.”

Hardy’s is somewhat of an enigma, a pub known only to locals, and almost like a refuge for your generation. The age limit goes up every five years or so, and, as Scott tells you from over his shoulder, currently stands at thirty. The pub is located in what looks to be, from the outside at least, a normal house at the end of Whitetail Lane. There are no signs, no neon lights telling you what kind of beer is served, nothing to indicate it’s anything but the quiet suburban home it pretends to be.

Johnny Ryan’s dad owned the pub when you were in high school and every Thursday night, after practice, you would all meet up here for some drinks. Of course Mr Ryan made sure he served non-alcoholic beverages only, not wanting to be accused of corrupting Sudbury’s finest. Still, it gave you a place to hang out, Mr Ryan always there but never judging and never ratting you out to any of your parents either.

On the car ride over Scott tells you that Johnny has taken over from his dad a few years back and that for all these years, Thursday nights have always been for the theater kids.

Chris admits that he tries to go there whenever he’s in Sudbury, because it’s a safe place where he’s sure there’s no one taking unwanted pictures or asking him for an autograph. “They all treat me like Chris, you know, the nerdy little theater kid,” he says just as Scott pulls up to the parking lot. “It’s great.”

He waits until you get out of the car and then walks next to you as you follow Scott inside. Memories of your nights here, mostly spent making out with Chris in a dark corner somewhere, start to flood your brain and you swallow hard, trying to not let them get to you.

It’s as if Chris knows, because right before you enter the backroom, where the bar is located, he puts a hand on the small of your back, his fingers splayed out against the fabric of your top, a heat radiating from them that you are not sure can just be blamed on your imagination playing tricks on you.

The lights are turned down low and there’s music coming from a jukebox that’s tucked away in a corner, the eighties rock almost a tribute to whatever happened here the last thirty years or so. The room is crowded and loud, lots of smiling faces and people trying to talk over each other, and it isn’t long before someone hands you a bottle of Heineken which you accept with a smile.

Chris sits down on one of the few empty bar stools, although he turns around in his seat so he can chat about the upcoming Patriots game with Michael, who has found you in the crowd easily. You end up standing next to Chris, your back leaning against the wooden bar top, your arm brushing against his whenever you take a sip of your beer.

Scott has disappeared off to somewhere on the other side of the room, talking to a few people who were in your year at Lincoln-Sudbury but who you were never close to, and so you’re just standing there, listening to all the conversations going on around you, taking it all in. Nicole finds you not much later, standing next to Michael, clinking her beer against yours before she takes a sip, “Cheers.”

“Cheers, Nic,” you reply before taking another sip. “Keith here too?”

She nods, “Yeah, is over there somewhere,” she says as she points to the front room, “playing snooker with some of the guys.”

“You come here often?”

Nicole lets out a laugh and it’s then you realize you just hit her with the worst pick up line ever and then you’re laughing too, having to put a hand on her arm to keep from doubling over. It takes a while before you’ve calmed down enough again that you can let go of her, but still there are tears in your eyes when you say, “That was so bad.”

“Hey,” she replies with a wink, “if you wanna go outside and make out by the old Oak, I’m up for it.” That sends both of you into another fit of laughter and once again you’re reminded of all the things you gave up when you left Sudbury so suddenly all those years ago.

You turn around and order a couple more beers from the girl behind the bar, handing one to Nicole before you give Chris and Michael a new bottle as well. Chris winks at you and if anyone asks you’ll definitely deny it, but it does make you a little weak in the knees. You shift your focus back to Nicole, who tries to recap everything that has happened at Hardy’s over the past eighteen years for you.

You only half listen to her, because even though Chris is still talking to Michael, he somehow snuck his arm around your back, his hand now resting on your hip comfortably. It’s distracting but you don’t want him to pull away either and so you try your hardest to concentrate on whatever story Nicole tells next, all while hoping it’s dark enough to not have anyone notice what’s going on. That is until Chris sneaks his hand under your top, his fingers ghosting over your skin, and you can’t help the shiver that runs through you.

“You ok?” Nicole asks, cutting herself off mid-sentence.

“Yeah, no, fine,” you reply, your voice a little unsteady, “just a little, uh, cold, I guess.”

She eyes you suspiciously because if anything it’s almost uncomfortably warm here, with this many people inside.

You shake your head, silently asking her not to push it any further, but you see her eyes go from you to Chris, narrowing them a little before they widen shock when she sees what’s going on. She just nods and continues her story effortlessly, although she can’t keep from smiling all throughout.

After an hour or so Nicole excuses herself to go check up on Keith and you carefully shake off Chris’ hand so you can go to the bathroom, but not before you look back at him and throw him a wink. You’re not sure what has come over you when you do, and you wonder if he even remembers the signal, but there’s no turning back now and so you make your way to the hall, your cheeks slightly burning.

You risk a quick glance in the mirror when you’re washing your hands, not entirely surprised to see something that can only be described as excitement in your eyes. When you step out into the hall you see him standing there, leaning against the door that leads you into a coat room nobody ever uses, even though it holds so many memories for you. Without saying anything you take his hand and lead the way, waiting until he’s closed the door behind before you turn around and face him.

There’s a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling and you can see the way he licks his lips when he lets his eyes fall to your mouth. He doesn’t do anything else and you know it’s because he wants you to be the one to make the first move, allowing you to be in control of what happens next.

Taking a tentative step forward you close the space between you and bring up your hands, letting them rest against his chest, before you look up at him and your heart flutters from the way he looks down at you through hooded lids. Your hands move up then, cupping his face, his skin warm against your fingers as you pull him towards you.

“You sure about this, Ace?” His voice is rough but his eyes are kind and you know he’s just making sure you’re not too caught up in the moment.

“No,” you answer honestly but then brush your lips against his anyway and kiss him. And kiss him, and kiss him. No holds barred this time. Your hand sneaks into his hair and you push yourself against him, deepening the kiss because, God, it feels so good. You want to say that it’s like no time has passed, that it’s just like before, except it’s not. It’s new, and different, and exciting, and a little scary all at the same time.

One of his hands is on your lower back, the other cupping your cheek, and then he lets his tongue run along your lower lip, silently asking for permission and it’s a good thing he’s holding you because you actually feel your knees buckle when you open your mouth and he slips in.

There’s a knock on the door that startles you and has you pull apart almost instantly, your hands back on his chest to steady yourself while you try to catch your breath.

“It’s been almost five minutes, guys,” a low voice tells you from the other side, followed by a chuckle that lets you know he’s enjoying this far too much.

You roll your bottom lip between your teeth and make a face while Chris tells Scott, “Thanks, man.”

“Oh God,” you breathe out, a little embarrassed that you still have to rely on Scott for not getting caught. You glance up at Chris, a little taken aback and a lot turned on by the way he looks at you, as if he’s ready to throw caution in the wind and just have you right then and there. You shake your head and whisper, “Not now.”

The ride back to your hotel is silent except for Scott, who’s found a seventies disco station and is quietly singing along to ABBA’s ‘Fernando’. Chris seems to be lost in thoughts in the passenger’s seat, while you let your head rest against the window sitting in the backseat behind him. Scott tried to get you and Chris into the backseat together, but after a very stern look from his older brother he cut his losses and so here you are.

You think back to your night at Hardy’s and how lucky you were Johnny and Michael were in the middle of a pretty intense sing-off right when you came back and so it seems like nobody really noticed you were gone in the first place. With the few people left by the time the bar closed, you ended the night the same you always did, with a very passionate rendition of Meatloaf’s ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’, sung at the top of everyone’s lungs.

All too soon Scott pulls up to your hotel and so you lean forward, kissing his cheek, “Thanks, babe,” you meet his eyes in the rearview mirror and wink.

He throws you a smile before he pretends to look something up on his phone while you turn towards Chris, who has shifted in his seat so he can face you. You scrunch up your nose, trying your hardest not to make this awkward, and so you just say, “I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow? Five o’clock, right?”

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “You still know the address?”

“Of course I do,” you scoff as you open the door and get out of the car, “Like I could forget.” You wave at them before you start walking towards the entrance of the hotel, rummaging through your purse to find your key card so you can let yourself in. You’re almost halfway when all of a sudden you stop and turn around and find yourself walking back to the car.

Before Chris has a chance to realize what’s going on you tap on the window and watch it as it lowers into the door at an excruciating slow pace. Still, you wait until it’s all the way down before you lean in, resting your hands on the doorframe, muttering a quiet, “I forgot something,” before you give Chris a kiss that has him smile against your lips.

“‘Night, Ace,” he says once you’ve pulled back, his voice low and a mischievous look in his eyes.

From beside him you hear Scott groan, “Am I sixteen and third-wheeling again, or what the fuck is going on? Jesus.”

You blow Scott a kiss and then push yourself up, giving Chris a quick wave before you run back to the hotel.

Saturday morning finds you getting ready to go out and have brunch with Nicole, who you’ve agreed to meet at Coffee Works in ten minutes and so you grab your phone from where it’s charging on your nightstand and drop it into your purse before you head out.

The weather is nice for the time of year and the drive over, even though it only takes a few minutes, has you admiring the way the trees have started to change colour, their leaves slowly changing to the most vibrant yellows, and oranges, and reds.

When you pull up to Coffee Works Nicole is already waiting for you and when you meet up with her, after finding a parking spot not too far away, she’s all smiles, “Morning!”

“Hi Nic,” you say as you give her a hug before you follow her inside. You point to a table in the corner, although it isn’t very busy and only a few other tables are occupied. Still, you have a feeling there will be some questions you don’t necessarily want anyone else to hear.

There’s some smalltalk about the weather and her kids until the waitress comes to take your order, but it isn’t until you both have your coffee that the interrogation really starts. Nicole looks at you from over her mug, a twinkle in her eyes that tells you she wants to know everything. She doesn’t say anything though and so you just raise your eyebrows at her because you sure as hell ain’t going to just confess without making her work for it.

“Ok, fine,” she sighs as she sets her mug down. She folds her hands together and leans over, “First things first, how was it?”

“How was what,” you ask, feigning innocence by taking a sip of your coffee.

Nicole just stares at you and shakes her head, letting you know she’s not up for playing games.

You return the favour until you see her lips curling up into a smile and you both burst out laughing.

“I hate you,” she says in between laughs, wiping at her eyes. “Eighteen years later and you’re still making me drag it out of you.”

You just raise your mug in reply, still laughing.

“You know what, fine,” she holds up her hands, “I’m going to ask you one question and you decide what you wanna do with it.” She sits up a little, but it’s at that time your food is being served and so she waits until you’re alone again before she continues, “What happened yesterday?”

Just before she finishes her question you take a bite of your bagel, buying yourself some extra time, trying to decide just what exactly you want her to know. Once you start talking though, the words come out easily and you find yourself telling her about the show and how nervous you were, about the kiss you and Chris shared on stage, how there was some semi-public PDA at Hardy’s that you know she caught up on, and how you’re meeting him for dinner at his mom’s house tonight.

“So,” she draws out with a shake of her head, and you already know where this is going. “You’re just not going to tell me how it was to make out with Chris again after all these years, or-”

“How do you-”

“I saw Scott disappearing into the hallway about five minutes after I went looking for Keith,” she explains with a grin. “Funny how some things never change.”

“I don’t know what-”

“Uhu.” She leans back in her chair, “Just tell me if he’s as good as you remember.”

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks and so you bury your head in your hands, before you quietly confess, “Even better.”

Nicole makes you promise to stay in touch once you’re back in Philadelphia, telling you that while she loves reading your letters it’d be nice to maybe call every now and then. She offers you the guest bedroom at her house whenever you want, even though, she says with a mischievous smile, you’ll probably won’t need it now that you and Chris are back on good terms.

The goodbye is bittersweet, because now that you’ve finally seen your best friend again after all these years, it’s hard to let her go. You promise to come back to Sudbury soon and she tells you she’ll call you once you’re back in Philadelphia.

There’s still some time to spare and you decide to stop at The Frugal Flower to pick out something for Chris’ mom before you head back to the hotel, where you change into something a little more dressed up for dinner. When you’re done touching up your makeup it’s time to go, the drive over only taking ten minutes, and so all too soon you find yourself pulling up in front of the house you spent so much time at when you and Chris were dating.

You spot Chris’ car in the driveway, not surprised that he’s here already, although it does absolutely nothing to calm your nerves. To ground yourself you take a few deep breaths before you carefully take the flowers from the passenger’s seat and get out of the car. The house looks exactly the same and a wave of nostalgia washes over you, remembering all the times you would just let yourself in after school, usually finding Chris in his room after first having a cup of tea with his mom. This time though, you ring the doorbell and smile when Chris opens it.

He places a chaste kiss on your cheek before he steps aside to let you in and you follow him to the other side of the house. He leads you into the kitchen and throws a grin at you from over his shoulder before he announces to the room, “Look who I found-”

Scott’s at the other side of the room, at the stove, and turns towards you with a smile. You’re sure he greets you but you don’t hear a word he says because all of a sudden Lisa steps into view on your right, her hands clasped in front of her mouth when she sees you. You bite your lip to keep from crying, but then she reaches out her hands and you just have time to hold out the flowers for Chris to take before she pulls you in for a hug.

“Oh, sweetheart,” is all she says, but it’s enough to make you cry for real then and you just hold onto her, letting her comfort you in the way she always did, by gently rubbing your back and telling you it’ll be ok.

You think you hear Chris mutter something about going to check on something in the dining room, telling Scott to come with him, and you’re so grateful they allow you to have a moment alone with her. Pulling back a little you try to smile through your tears and you want to tell her it’s good to see her again, but the words seem to be stuck in your throat.

“It’s ok,” she says again, running her thumbs under your eyes to wipe away your tears, but she’s a little teary-eyed herself which in turn makes you cry again.

It takes a while before you’re calmed down enough for her to let you go, but not before she holds you at an arm’s length so she can “Really look at you.” After a while she simply states, “Still beautiful as ever.” Her eyes grow kind when you shrug and she gives your hands a little squeeze, “I know it hasn’t been easy, sweetheart, but it’ll be ok. I know it will be.”

You just nod, still unable to say anything but thankful for her neverending support.

“We’ll have time to catch up later, I’m sure,” she says, a quick look over her shoulder to make sure you’re still alone, “but I just want you to know I’ve missed you. And I know Chris did too.”

“Lisa-”

“No, sweetheart,” she shakes her head and gives your hands another squeeze, “I don’t think you realize the effect you have on him. I haven’t- This week he’s been the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time.” She must understand the weight of her words and she’s quick to tell you, “I’m just happy to see you again, sweetheart.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from crying again and just nod, hoping it will tell her you feel the same way.

You find yourself at Wholefoods not much later, Chris following you around while you try to find the right kind of leafy greens Lisa claims she forgot to get even though you think it might be a set up to give you and Chris some time alone. You decide on some endives and rucola, hoping it will go with whatever else is supposed to go into the salad Scott’s making.

“Got it?” Chris asks from somewhere over your shoulder.

“Yep,” you nod and motion for him to follow you to the cash register. You’ve just rounded the fruit section when you bump into someone, “Shit, sorry about that.”

“It’s o- Oh,”

Trying not to pull a face when you see it’s Fiona Warren you throw her what you hope is an apologetic smile and try to continue towards the exit.

“Well,” she draws out, a hand on your arm to keep you in place, “this is interesting.” She looks from you to Chris with a devious smile, “I didn’t know you guys were seeing each other again.”

You don’t say anything, hoping Chris will do the same, and just stare at her.

“Well, you know what I mean,” she says as she shrugs innocently and waves her hand around, “after that messy breakup.” Another fake smile directed at you then, “Good for you though, trying to get back together with him now that he’s made it big.”

“You bi-”

“Ok, that’s enough,” Chris says from somewhere behind you before he takes your hand and pulls you away. “Come on.” He leads you to the drinks aisle and after a quick search pulls a Raspberry Peach Snapple from the shelf and hands it to you, “Here, take this,” before he takes out a second bottle, this time the Orange Carrot one.

To anyone else it might seem like he’s lost his mind, but you know exactly what he’s doing and so you squeeze his hand as you follow him to the cash register. Using one of the self scan machines means you’re outside not much later, where he takes the two bottles out of the bag and hands you yours. You open them at the same time, turning the cap over in your hand to read the message inside.

He laughs when he reads his, “Mosquitos have forty-seven teeth.”

“Interesting.” You clear your throat and read yours, “On average a human being will spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.”

“Huh,” he says, taking a sip of his Snapple, a mischievous look in his eyes. He caps his bottle, sliding it back into the bag, and takes a step towards you, “Guess we better get started then.”

You tilt your head up towards him, smiling when he presses his lips against yours, allowing yourself to get a little lost in the moment, trying to ignore the fact that you’re making out in front of a Wholefoods in the middle of Sudbury.

When he pulls back he throws you a wink, “Twenty seconds done, Ace, still so much more to go.”

“Can’t wait,” is all you can say, trying to distract yourself by putting the cap back on. Looking back at him you hold up your bottle and whisper a quiet, “Thank you,” to let him know that even after eighteen years this is a perfect way to distract you whenever you get upset.

Chris takes your hand again as you walk back to his car and you’re about halfway there when you hear a low whistle behind you. As if on cue you both turn around and see Carla Hayes walking towards you, a kid on her hip and a tired looking husband behind her.

“Well, well,” she snickers, “look who it is. Sudbury’s golden couple back together again.” She looks from Chris to you and shakes her head, “God, Ace,” she all but spits out the nickname she sure as hell isn’t allowed to use, “you really think this is a good idea?”

You don’t say anything, just turn around and tug on Chris’ hand to get him to follow. He does, but you can tell he keeps looking over his shoulder to where Carla is still standing, “Chris, come on.”

“Why didn’t you tell her to-”

“I went through all of this once, Chris, eighteen years ago,” you scoff, “I’m not doing this again.”

“What are you talking about?”

You let go of his hand when you reach his car, rounding the hood so you can get into the passenger’s side where you try your hardest not to break down and cry. It’s all just too much, the happiness from earlier completely washed away and replaced by anger and sadness.

“Talk to me,”

Shaking your head to let him know now is not the time you stare out of the window instead, watching as the buildings along Boston Post Road pass by in a blur.

“Don’t do this,” his voice is soft, “don’t shut me out.”

You turn towards him and stare at him, hoping he’ll get the message to let it go.

Either he really doesn’t or he chooses to just ignore it, “They’re just jealous, Ace, don’t let them get to you.” He pulls up to his mother’s house then, but stays seated once he’s turned the engine off.

“Don’t,” is all you say when you get out of the car, not waiting to see if he follows you or not.

Scott keeps stealing glances at you and Chris during dinner, like he’s trying to figure out what happened. You hate how worried he looks and so you slip your hand under the table and gently pat his knee to let him know it will be ok. He doesn’t seem convinced.

Most of dinner is spent catching up with Lisa, although you mainly just tell her about your week back in Sudbury. Scott occasionally joins in, but Chris is keeping awfully quiet, only answering questions Lisa or Scott directly ask him. It’s awkward and weird and not at all how you thought tonight was going to be, and you wonder if his mom notices anything.

Lisa excuses herself then, tells you all to stay seated while she puts the finishing touches on dessert, and so here you are, sitting next to Scott and opposite to Chris, the awkward silence filling up the space between you. Trying to avoid it getting even more awkward, you’re just about to get up and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom when Scott puts his hand on your arm, keeping you in your place.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you two,” Scott says in a hushed whisper, eyeing the door to the kitchen to make sure Lisa hasn’t heard him, “but you better get your shit together. Mom’s going to know something’s up and then-”

“It’s nothing-”

“We ran into some people at Wholefoods,” Chris says at the same time.

“Chris-” you throw him a look, one eyebrow raised, “It’s fine.”

“Clearly it isn’t,” he counters. “You’ve been ignoring me all night.”

“I’m not ignoring you,” you scoff, “I’m just catching up with your mom.”

“Oh, come on,”

“Listen, either you work this out now,” Scott suggests, “or you better put those acting skills you both claim to have to good use because mom’s coming back in a few minutes and I swear to God, if-”

“We’ll be fine,” you tell him, looking at Chris to get him to agree.

He just shakes his head, “I can’t believe you. We are not fine.”

Scott lets out an exaggerated sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Fine.” He holds up a finger to shut both of you up and calls out to the kitchen then, “You need any help, mom?”

“No, thanks sweetie,” Lisa replies from behind the closed door, “just have to plate up and then dessert is ready.”

“Ok,” Scott looks from you to Chris, “you have about three minutes. Go.”

“Scott-”

“We ran into Fiona Warren and Carla Hayes,” Chris says at the same time, “they made some mean comments when they saw us together, it was nothing really, but-”

“It was nothing?”

“It was, Ace, come on. They’re just jealous.” Chris shrugs, “Why do you care so much?”

“Why do I care so much?” You let yourself fall back against your chair, “You wanna know why I care so much?” You don’t wait for a reply and instead continue, trying to keep your voice down, “It started at prom, when you weren’t there. The whispers, the ‘Oh, he must be busy with his acting career, don’t you want him to succeed?’ and the ‘Well, you already went to his prom together, can’t have it all, now can you?”

Chris wants to say something but you hold up your hand to let him know you’re not done, “And then someone showed me those pictures and Fiona Warren of all people had the nerve to tell me that she understood why you’d much rather stay in LA.”

You take a sip of water, your voice rough from the strained whispers, “So after they found out we’d broken up- Even though I broke up with you- The rumours started. That you had dumped me because you’d never make it big if you had something-” you shake your head and correct yourself, “Someone holding you back. That your career would take off much faster if you were single. That they never really understood how you settled for someone like me anyway.” You look at Chris, “Every single day they kept coming at me, almost relentless.”

He waits for you to continue, but you shake your head to let him know you’re done. He throws a quick glance at Scott before he looks back at you, “Ace, look at me,” he waits until you do, “I know there’s nothing I can say now to make this better-”

You nod, because no, there isn’t, but at least this is something.

“-but don’t you think maybe it’s time to let it go?” He reaches his hand out to you, “It’s been eighteen years.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but when they do it’s like he stabbed you right through your heart with a dull knife. You feel your mouth fall open but you’re at a loss for words and so you just stare at him. You hear Scott say something to you on your left, but his words don’t register at all, and it’s at that moment Lisa walks back in, holding a tray with four individual desserts on them.

It’s like seeing her triggers you back into action and you stand up, looking down at Chris, “I should go.”

“Ace-”

“Sweetheart,” Lisa says at the same time, before she turns to Scott, “What happened?”

Scott shrugs but doesn’t say anything, a slightly panicked look on his face. Chris just shakes his head at her and all you can do is kiss her cheek, “Thank you so much Lisa, but I need to go,” before you grab your purse and head towards the front door.

Chris rushes after you and catches up with you just as you’ve put your hand on the door, “Ace, come on.” He puts his hand over yours, “We can talk about this.”

“Like you said, it’s been eighteen years,” you say, your voice cold and void of any emotions. “Maybe you're right. Maybe it is time to move on.”

His eyes darken at your words, “Why are you giving up so easily?”

“Why am I-,” you gasp, shaking off his hand, “You wanna know why I don’t want to fight anymore? Because I have been fighting for the last eighteen fucking years!” With that you step outside and slam the door shut behind you before you hurry towards your car. Once you're inside you call the only person you know who can help you try to make sense of what just happened.

She answers on the first ring.

“Nicole?” Your voice is unsteady, “Are you home?”

“I’m sorry,” you sniff, taking another tissue out of the box that sits on the couch between you and Nicole.

“Don’t be,” she puts her hand on your arm and gives it a gentle squeeze, “you just sit there and cry for as long as you need.”

You nod and dry your eyes with the sleeve of the sweater she lent you after you couldn’t stop shivering, although you’re struggling to find a dry patch of fabric. You’ve told her everything, in between sobs and endless cups of tea, working through all the events of this evening, one at a time.

“You know what, it’s fine,” you say then, although you’re not sure who you’re trying to convince. “This was never about getting back together anyway. All I wanted was closure.” You scoff, “Guess I got what I came for, huh?”

“Babe,” Nicole throws you a look to let you know you’re not fooling her.

“It’s fine,” you tell her again, hoping she’ll let it go. “It was good to see him again, but after what happened today, how he acted like it was no big deal, even though this was exactly why I left Sudbury- I don’t know, maybe-”

“Ok, but you need to cut him some slack.”

“What?”

“You said it yourself, remember?” She raises her eyebrows at you, “‘A lot has happened, but none of it you went through together.’ He doesn’t know what you’ve been through, babe. How would he?”

“Yeah, but-”

“No.” She sits up, “You broke up with him over the phone and then you left, like what, three weeks later? So unless you’ve told him, how would he know?” She holds up her hands to let you know she comes in peace, “I’m not trying to make you the bad guy here, just-”

“Telling it like it is,” you finish the sentence for. “Yeah, I know.”

“So why don’t you?”

“Why don’t I, what?”

“Tell him,” Nicole shrugs, as if it’s that simple. Then again, maybe it is.

You sigh, trying to weigh your options. You keep hearing Chris’ voice, when he told you it would be too little, too late to come up with any excuses now, and it’s exactly how you feel about maybe telling him what you went through eighteen years later. What good would it do? In the end you simply tell her, “I don’t know, Nic.”

It’s raining and so you’re doing a weird sort of speed walk, your purse slowly sliding down your arm but your suitcase in one hand and your carry-on in the other means there’s nothing you can do to stop it from ending up around your wrist. It doesn’t help the bad mood you’re in from having to get up early and so when your phone chimes to let you know you’ve got a new message you ignore it, at least until you make it to your car.

Once your suitcase and carry-on are in the trunk you take your phone out of your backpocket and hurry inside where you pull up your messaging app. Your heart drops when you see it’s from Chris, and when you read the message it feels like someone punched you in the gut:

We shouldn’t leave things like this, Ace. Can we talk before you leave?

You bite your cheek to keep yourself from crying at the unfairness of it all. Still, your reply doesn’t leave any room for interpretation, but it’s all you can do to keep your heart from breaking again:

I’m already back in Philadelphia. It was good seeing you again, Chris. Take care.

#Chris Evans x reader #Chris Evans fanfic #Harley Sunday x Chris Evans #Chris Evans #Encore

42 notes · View notes

leximitchells · 3 years

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If they did the angsty stuff a bit better it'd be less frustrating too, I think? It really is beginning to feel like their stories are shortchanged by being crammed into brief time periods and piled on top of each other. Phil and the wedding, Callum's PTSD and Ben's trauma from the homophobic attack and Paul's death are all huge topics which have had/will have really good moments, but where they're being turned into 2 week angst stories in quick succession, it means there's not enough depth and space to really explore what's happening for the characters rather than the plot.

That's partly why I'm nervous about next week I guess. Simon and his actions have been a huuuuuge source of trauma for Ben for 5 years and I'm apprehensive that they're going to tie it up in a nice little bow then have no mention of it afterwards. I do understand that it's a chance for Ben to have closure but there's a difference between closure and wrapping it all up so it can be put to one side.

When you look at how they've handled Isaac's story since what, February? You can see they're capable of letting important issues breathe and work through them over a longer time period, so it's strange that they're doing the polar opposite for Callum/Ben by making trauma into a bi-weekly spectacle?

Also I get that Ben and Callum have various traumas so ofc they should be shown on the show. But... not like this lmao. There are better ways of showing their trauma than the approach taken right now. I'll repeat what someone else said a few weeks back: they should tone it down with Ben until the start of next year and put effort into a Heather story. That would have more impact than him kicking off, seeking revenge or falling out with someone on a near weekly basis. As for Callum, just give the lad a nice story about retraining to be a youth support worker or something, tie it into his childhood and/or conversations he's had with Ben about boys in young offenders, sorted.

yessss!!!! all of this!!! these quick lil stories should have been spread out over weeks and months bc they are dealing with SO MUCH TRAUMA like HEAVY TRAUMA and then it's just done two weeks later???? callum's ptsd ended so horribly that i'm still in denial that it's actually over bc it was so abrupt. and i'm excited for next week but ben's paul trauma is so much heavier than just bringing it up around the anniversary of his death. i will once again reiterate that it was so dumb for him not to have a big moment of taking off his paul ring before the wedding bc that would've been SO powerful and then that leading into next week and the 5 year anniversary would've had such a strong impact on who ben is as a character, especially if he ends up not actually hurting simon, symbolizing that the old ben is gone and he's genuinely trying to be better now that he's married to callum. sigh. oh my god callum as a youth support worker.... oh my god. i never thought about that before. that's so perfect for him ahhhh

#Anonymous #ee negativity

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laughing-with-god · 5 years

Text

Exo as Yandere (based on Venus and Mars signs)

(I personally think that astrology reveals a lot about a person and I think it’s interesting to look into an idols’ chart to predict how they could be. As a writer, I tend to keep a person’s chart in mind when creating their character but in no way am I saying that they are like this. We don’t know Exo’s precise birth-times and this is a fictional scenario. Please no bitching in my inbox. Please enjoy and share your thoughts~)

Kim Minseok

{Venus in Aquarius}

He was probably a friend to you in the beginning but somehow worked his way into much, much more.

Aquarius has a reputation for being aloof or detached but they’re very good at analyzing and manipulating. His yandere is almost never detected bc he’s so good at hiding it.

Venus is what we are attracted to. So with his Venus in Aquarius we know he tends to like people who are unconvententional or unique for some reason.

Your race, your hair, your style ect… chances are it’s very different from the societal norm he’s used to.

Probably has a thing for foriengers

Big Age gaps too, doesn’t mind if you’re a baby to him or a milf but he will almost always end up with one or the other.

At first he wouldn’t realize that he was obsessed with you.

He would just tell himself that you’re a very interesting person and it’s normal for him to want to know more about you.

But eventually he’ll come to terms with it when he finds himself stalking and or emotionally manipulating you.

I think hes very big on stalking tbh. the reason why I think this is because his moon is in pisces and they tend to grow overly-attached to people. Mix that with his venus and mars in aquarius and you get someone who has an intense need to be near you and ALSO has the stealth and smarts to follow you around whilst being undetected.

The Lightbulb would go off when he’s crouched behind a bush to watch you or something and he’ll be like “......damn, I’m in too deep.”

Knows that stalking can be very inconvenient and risky so eventually it’ll bleed into him bugging your phone, car, watch ect.

Just to keep tabs on your locations. he’s become accoustemed to your usual spots so if he sees you at an unfamiliar address then he’ll physically track you down.

Really good at tugging on your heart-strings. His moon in Pisces tells me that he knows how to play with emotions and his aquarius side uses that to his advantage.

but he’s very subtle and you could never call it out if you wanted to bc he’s just so good.

“Well, it’s just after all I’ve done for you I thought maybe....”

“I just want what’s best for you. Would you rather have someone who has the worst intentions?”

“God knows what would’ve happen to you if I wasn’t there for you.”

{Mars in Aquarius}

I’m not saying freaky sex but, uh.....freaky sex

it’s hard to nail down the kinks of a mars in aquarius bc they could be into ANYTHING.

All we know is that they are attracted to the taboo and unconventenal so the kinks are almost always weird and unsuspecting.

Boy could be into feet for all we know.....

Anyways, as for the yandere side of him....Minseok doesn’t get mad bc he knows that tantrums are unproductive and can raise red flags

He gets clever.

he knows that the minute you pick up on his obsession with you, it’s over. therefore he always has Plans A through Z prepared

Most mars in aquarius don’t get jealous but I think Minseok is an eception given he has some pisces in him.

he feels so deeply for you.

Yes, I think he can and will kill those that get too close to his beloved.

But he would never be to obvious about it.

A friend starts flirting with you and crosses some boundaries? No worries, Minseok is patient enough to wait for the perfect time to strike.

could be next week, month or year but he’s ready all the same

he’s a fan of making it look as if his victims died in freak accidents

Like a guy will be fixing a car and minseok will just walk over and release the thing that keeps the car up so the guy gets crushed.

Or accidently tampering with some brakes...

Or stealing someone’s carbon monoxide detector so poisonous gas can slowly seep into their home.....

Maybe switching up some medications to cause some accidental overdoses

Creative deaths that he enjoys planning and can almost never be traced back to anyone bc they don’t even look like murders.

Punishments?

Minseok doesn’t like getting his hands dirty much less putting them on you.

But he does enjoy playing mind games.

he likes making you dependent on him so whenever you act up, he’ll just remove his support system so you can see exactly how much you need him.

You’ll never even suspect his yandere, and that’s just how he wants it.

Kim Junmyeon

{Venus in Cancer}

Junmyeon has the ‘boy next door’ vibe and he wants nothing more than to find the ‘girl next door’

Whenever he sees a girl/boy that looks just perfect to bring home to his family, he simply melts and falls in love

Attracted to slightly younger or same age partners.

Likes smooth and lighter skin, BOOB man, long dark hair, shorter than him, curvier bodies.

All the things listed above make him drool

Also he’s someone who prefers traditional Korean partners (sorry but some people have a preference for partners with the same cultural background)

Cancer is the sign of motherhood and that’s exactly what he’s looking for- the future mother of his kids.

So his yandere side probably developed when your relationship steadily grew serious.

the more time he spends with you, the more he gets delusional about how your life will be with him.

You catch him calling himself your husband like three months into dating him.

because in his mind you guys are already like an old married couple.

Probably went ahead and introduced himself to your parents before you even got the chance to. You wouldn’t notice until your mom mentions how sweet Junmyeon was when he took her out last week and you’re like “....what the fuck? I hadn’t even brought him home yet.”

Junmyeon is a textbook over-thinker and the epitome of an A type personality.

He has everything planned out about your future.

the wedding venue, the house you guys will settle in, how many kids you’ll have. He has it all down to a tee

Very Overprotective of you.

has an obsession with being your white knight so he’s always jumping at every chance to protect or save you.

Even if these so-called ‘threats’ aren’t really threats....

He’s too gentlemanly to get violent with someone.

But he is very good at being passive-aggressive and pulling people aside to have friendly ‘chats’

And if those ‘chats’ don’t work then he’ll just have to pay someone to get his message across.

has a burner phone for his hired hitmen

very into gender roled. idk how to explain it but he wants to be the ‘man’ and get all the doors for you, pay for everything, take the initiave during sex or affection. He’s not sexist so much as he enjoys old style romance.

You would have to be a fool to not pick up on his overzealousness of you. So on a small scale you are aware that there is a yandere side to him, but he’s so kind that you just rationalize it as him being clingy and over-romantic

{Mars in Cancer}

Overall, Junmyeon is vanilla in bed but very sensual.

the type to hold your hand and whisper praises in your ear while it’s going down.

mars in cancer leads me to suspect one weird kink; impregnation. he’s just really into the idea of you having his kids. I don’t know if he’s even aware of it but he does get turned on by the idea of breeding and he’ll catch himself feeling a certain way when you guys don’t use a condom.

He’s also attracted to the supple parts of a woman. Like the boobs, softer tummy and the fleshy thighs/butt

wouldn’t mind a slightly chubby s/o for these reasons.

junmyeon doesn’t really get angry unless your safety or future with him is tampered with.

Like while other yanderes would flip out at other people looking at their beloved, Junmyeon doesn’t care bc ofc he’s aware that you’re very attractive and he can’t control all the wandering stares.

However if someone were to tell you that they don’t think you and Junmyeon were a good fit and perhaps you should look elsewhere...

heads will roll...

How dare someone try to jeoprodize all he had planned by getting into your head?! Don't they know that you and Suho are the perfect couple?

Addicted to spoiling you bc his mars in cancer makes it so that he enjoys providing for his loved ones

He’s very big on couple outfits bc it’s another way of rubbing everyones’ face in how happy you two are.

Doesn’t punish you bc he worships you and it’ll ruin the image of marital bliss if he put his hands on you

Instead he convinces himself that it’s someone else who got into your head and is making you act up

“Darling, I know that someone filled your pretty head with useless garbage. Why don’t you just tell me who it is and I can have a talk with them.”

He likes having your friends over for dinner and stuff bc he loves the idea of you and him being the ‘mom and dad’ of the group.

ALWAYS offering relationship advice to his single friends like, “Well when stuff like that happens what me and Y/n do is....”

His moon is in gemini and I think he is totally capable of living two different lives. if he plays his card right, you’ll never find out about how sinister your ‘perfect’ hubby actually is

In general, he is a soft and clingy yandere who you would think is harmless. But those shady contacts in his burner phone tell a different story.

Yixing

{Venus in Virgo}

Lay adores innocence in a partner.

Virgo is the ‘virgin’ so he’s attracted to the image of purity because of this.

turn ons: younger partners, shorter and petite statures, big watery eyes, feminine clothing and manners, high pitched voices

He is also slightly obsessed with the idea of living in a fairy tale romance with you.

Most likely fell in love with you at first sight

Not the type to slowly develop a friendship with you into a relationship.

No, he makes his intentions known right off the bat.

he will be with you.

Virgo is very analytical and he’s constantly planning ahead and reading way too much into your words/actions.

Sweeps you off your feet everytime he takes you out. even if he’s just taking you out to dinner he’ll bring along a thoughtful gift to ensure you never forget how serious he is about you.

probably has a secret notebook that he has to take notes about you.

“she mentioned that her laptop has been acting slow lately. I should write down to get her a new one.”

“her face cringed when I mentioned cats. I should document that for later until I know exactly what that means.”

Yixing is like a rentlesless student whose dedicated to studying you.

he probably has a stash for momentos of you.

has pictures saved from your old social media accounts from like years before he even knew you.

he’s not a violent or obvious yandere bc his virgo side has already calculated the risks if he ever slipped up and he’d go crazy if he lost you.

Therefore he’s gotten really good at hiding how infatuated he truly is with you.

Doesn’t mean that there aren’t little slip ups

Sometimes you’ll be telling him something and he’ll say something that he shouldn’t know.

You: “So when I was studying at-” “(Blank) university, right?” “Yeah....wait how did you know that?”

When that happens he always just tries to play it off as if you already told him that information but you never recall these conversations.

But he always changes the topic before you could prod any further.

{Mars in Libra}

In the bed he’ll be whatever you want him to be.

You’re a dom? He’ll be your sub. you’re a sub? he’ll be your dom.

Your kinks are his now too.

Libras are people pleasers and your sex life is basically just him worshiping and serving you.

he also never looses his temper with you, or anyone for that matter.

Libras are clever and charming and not known for being very emotional, so he has all of his yandere in control.

He rather work the people around you and plant a seed in your head if you ever suspect anything.

“Y/n, if I truly was crazy then how come all your family and friends love me?”

“baby, it’s all in your head. Do I really look like the type of guy to do all those things that you’re accusing me of?”

“Fine leave me. But just know taht you’ll never find someone as good as me. and your friends agree witht that too.”

He won’t kill other people but he will blackmail.

He’s very good at getting information so if someone is getting a little too close to you he’ll just dig up some dirt and confront them with it.

If that doesn’t dork he’ll just try to change your prespective of said person by casually bringing up how ‘foul’ they are.

Doesn’t punish you bc he’s not your father. As obsessed as he is with you, he still considers you both equals in the relationship.

Soft yandere for you.

Having placements in libra and virgo make it so that he’ll do anything to make you happy.

Just say the word and he’s on it.

Some yanderes try to force their signifact other into being the ‘perfect lover’ but Yixing is different.

He’ll change the very foundation of who he is just to make you happy.

Byun Baekhyun

{Venus in Taurus}

Enjoys older partners, prefers sexy over cute bc he’s attracted to mature people

Lives for curves.

Like Suho, he also enjoys the more supple parts of the female body. Boobs, softer tummy, fleshy thighs and bigger butts.

very sensual bc Taurus is about feeling physical pleasures so he’s constantly holding you or touching you ins ome way, shape or form.

Weird but since Taurus needs to feel to truly get close to someone, the more skinship he has with you the more yandere he becomes.

very possessive bc Taurus tends to view loved ones in terms of personal posessions.

You belong to him and he will have the biggest hissy fit if someone else is touching you

Your dates are more homely bc Baekhyun is a homebody and he wants to enjoy you in a place free of distractions.

Also in-home dates mean more cuddling for him.

I cannot stress enough how important physical affection is to him.

He needs it to live.

Clingiest yandere.

Because he’s so possessive I def see him trying to control what you wear and who you talkt to

But he’s very sly about it and tries to put in a perspective that makes him look like a thoughtful boyfriend.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but theres tons of cat callers in the city and I don’t want anyone making you uncomfortable. Would you mind putting a sweater over that?”

“It’s just that friends are supposed to be supportive and if they’re not being supportive of your relationship...then maybe they’re not good friends?”

He’s not that delusional about you until you’re taken away from him.

Like let’s say you take a trip (without him) early in the relationship

During the days you’re gone he’ll go I n s a n e

When he’s not blowing up your phone, he’s crying like crazy and working himself into paranoia frenzies about what could be happening to you.

When you finally get back into his arms, he’s not leaving your side for days

Touch starved for you 24/7

He gets really grumpy when he’s not near you, so people think he’s a jerk if they meet him when he’s experiencing withdrawls.

But if your by his side then he’s the sweetest angel ever.

He’ s not good at manipulating so he doesn’t even bother trying. he’ll be very straight up about all his yandere behavior bc he honestly sees nothing worng with it.

Like how the hell could he love you too much? To him that sounds like bullshit.

{Mars in Aries}

very rough and fast in bed.

Sex with him is either all night long or 15 minutes. There is no in-between. (His Taurus makes it so he loves long drawn out sex with lots of touching and praise, but his aries makes it so that he often gets horny and needs to get it out really soon. thus, you also get quickies.)

mars in aries is a very interesting placement. Mars is the planet of war and aries is a warrior sign. Which means Baekhyun is one of the more brutal yanderes.

I dare say Baekhyun enjoys pain during sex. probably both giving and receiving.

His anger issues are really bad.

likes getting his hands dirty when getting rid of people.

His trademark is beating his victims for hours on endbefore finally killing them.

Their bodies are always very hard to identify bc they’re always beaten so bad to a point of being unreconginazable.

I don’t see him hurting you though. He’s too in love to put his hands on you. The only scenario is if you try to leave him, he might physically drag you back and rough house you a little bit.

There’s two baekhyuns; the soft and clingy one that needs to be held by you in order to be happy

OR the explosive Baekhyun that thinks someone is trying to keep him away from you.

Weird but I think he likes bruises and marks .

Whether it be from you during sex or one of his victims who fought back, he likes them all the same bc he has a slight fascination with violence.

He also adores leaving marks on you too, if you let him ofc.

His venus in tarus means he’s ultra jelous and possessive and his aries gives him the fire-power to fight back.

With you, he’s in heaven. And if someone tires to ruin that, he’ll raise hell.

Kim Jongdae

{Venus in Libra}

Likes girly partners.

Docile, passive manners, pastel colors, feminine style

Doesn’t have an age preference. he appreciates aspects of younger and older partners so it’s really up in the air.

he is a very sociable and charming person so he falls for people who are also charismatic.

You have to be able to hold his attention.

he likes witty partners too, someone who can have quick comebacks and understand his sarcastic humor.

One of the chilliest yanderes tbh.

He’s not controlling or overly jealous. he’s more focused on getting you to like him.

You can make an off-hand comment about how you think guys in sweaters are really cute.

he’ll go out and buy 50 and make sure to wear one whenever you’re around.

Even if it’s summer and he’s sweating like crazy, he’ll still endure it if it means being closer to your ideal type.

Since you’re so captivating to him he can’t help but desperately try to get you to like him.

It’s very important to him because you’re by far the most enchanting person he’s ever met and the thought of you not having a positive outlook of him fills him with dread.

So his yandere side is based around how desperate he is to get you to feel the same about him as he does you.

he’s a slave for you tbh.

he’s on your beck and call, he’d be so honored that you’d ask him to do anything for you

His friends and family may notice major behavior changes in him ever since he met you.

He will immediately shed his own style to match yours.

And he’ll start hanging out at all your usual spots.

he’ll act like it’s a coincidence that he keeps running into you but in all honesty he’s practically staking out these places in hopes of seeing you there.

As a boyfriend he’s extremely attentive and caring.

One of those guys who knows you better than you know yourelf.

he’ll come by with chocolates, an electric blanket and pain medicine and you’re like”...what’s this?” and he’ll just say “You’re period is coming soon, I wanted you to be prepared.”

When he’s with you he looses contact with the outside world.

Like it’s totally normal for him not to talk to his friends for weeks on end bc he’s so wrapped up in you.

{Mars in Cancer}

Vanila in bed but is probably a little subby.

Praise. I think he’s vocal in bed, his libra and cancer makes me think he’s very soft so I suspect lots of sweet nothings .

Wants a family with you, it’s the great end-game.

Also big on providing for you bc he want a traditional family and that includes him working to support them.

very protective of you.

I don’t think he’s violent but he does loose his cool if he thinks someone is putting you in a dangerous situation or making you uncomfortable.

has a ‘damsel in distress’ complex with you and is always rushing to ‘save’ you

Your home is very sacred to him. cancers are very touchy about their homes bc it’s their safe place so he’s not a fan of people just coming and going through your shared space.

he doesn’t get angry at you.

rather he self pitties and places the blame on him whenever things get tense between you two.

“you’re absolutely right Y/n. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why you put up with me.”

“I know you deserve better but please just tolerate me for a little longer. I swear I’ll work harder to become more deserving of you.”

Really good with twisting peoples words to get his desired affect.

Like Suho, he also tells himself that other people have gotten in your head if you ever try to leave him. Delusional bc once he gets with you, he thinks you two are the perfect couple.

Probably will try to isolate you at some pint.

he will cut off some people from your life if he doesn’t approve.

But he will do it by making them look bad and changing your perspective on them.

“I saw your friend (name) doing some weird things lately.”

“I know your close with them but I don’t know how I feel about them....”

“I don’t like the influence they have on you.”

Overall, he is a very dedicated but tame yandere.

He will move mountains for you if you just let him.

Park Chanyeol

{Venus in Capricorn}

attracted to taller partners with duskier complexions and slender faces.

Also tends to lean more towards older partners bc he likes mature people who have their ‘shit together’, so to speak.

likes career woman/men, he likes professionalism in a significant other

Chanyeol will follow the normal ‘courting’ process because he respects traditions.

Wont kiss you until the thid date, won’t have sex with you until you guys have been dating for weeks, follows all the rules of how a guy should treat a lady. (even if you’re a guy, he’ll still try to be the ‘man’ of the relationship)

He doesn’t like trendy or revealing clothes on a partner, he likes more conservative styles.

A person he can take home to his family.

Also has a preference for Korean partners (although I don’t think it’s a make or break factor like it is for Suho)

Very possessive of you.

Like Baekhyun, he also tends to view you as a personal possession more than an actual person with free will.

He knows what’s best for you and he’ll keep reminding you.

Wants you dependent on him so you can see how great he is at taking care of you.

Weird, but he will try to bribe you with money. Financial security is very important to Capricorns and chances are hes richer than you so you’ll catch him bringing up how wealthy he is.

“I can support both you and me, no problem.”

“If you just moved in with me you wouldn’t even have to worry about bills anymore.”

When you’re with him he’ll make sure you don’t have to pay for anything.

Although he is attracted to ambitous partners, his need to provide for you and his mars in cancer makes it so that he’ll eventually want you to quit your job.

Needs your only priority to be him.

(well, until you have kids but that’s not till later.)

Capricorn likes control so he’ll love dictating things for you.

Caps are also very patient so he’ll wait as long as it takes to slowly bleed his way into controlling every aspect of your life.

It’s a gradual process. At first he’ll mention small things to you, but give it some time and he’ll be in charge of those things in a few months.

“My phone is dead and I need to text someone. Can I use yours for a second?”

(Three months later) “Give me your phone. I want to see all your contacts.”

Sometimes he’s more like a father than boyfriend bc he’s just so protective and is always shielding you from things he deems unsafe for you.

{Mars in Cancer}

Suprisingly gentle in bed but still a dom.

Daddy

LiStEn, Capricorn makes him want to be an authority figure to you while cancer makes him soft and gentle. Mix that up and what do you get? A soft Daddy dom

Okay, that’s my ted-talk.

He wants a cute little housewife/househusband.

((I know what you’re thinking; “but chinkbihh, didn’t you just say that he like a career partner?” Well my little grasshopper, his fantasy is to take an ambitous person (since that’s what he’s attracted to) and make them into a little housewife/househusband))

Wants to have that experience of coming home from a long day of work to see you with dinner ready and the house all clean.

You getting dolled up for him and just for him makes him feel things.

If it was up to him, you’d never leave the house.

Really needs you to get along with his family, it’s really important to him that you do.

If you don’t, he’ll make you.

His cap makes it so that he has harsh rules for you to follow but his cancer makes it so that he never really punishes you if those rules are broken.

9 times out of 10 he settles for a strong lecture.

But, I do see occasional spankings if he gets really worked up.

Kids are just a given with him, he wan’ts a family and his fantasy is incomplete without them.

will be very yander about his kids too.

Extremely protective of them.

He wants you and him to look like the best married couple, the type that your kids will look up to and want for themselves one day.

Pampers you all the time, esp when you’re pregnant.

also a fan of couple clothes and maybe even a discreet couple tattoo.

Overall he’s a yandere who has a very specific picture perfect image he wants. And you’re just there to play your part.

Do Kyungsoo

{Venus in Pisces}

Won’t settle for anything other than the perfect partner of his dreams.

enjoys smaller partners, petite statures, a sucker for big watery eyes and impish or upturned noses, also more of a boob man than an ass man.

I don’t think he has an age preference but he does like a quiet wisdom in someone.

Not maturity per say because frankly I see him enjoying a slightly childish partner, but some people hold a quiet air about them that just tells you they’re an old soul. He’s very drawn to those people.

To be honest with you, you probably didn’t know him at all.

He’s a secret admirer (stalker) that you’d never even notice.

God only knows where he found you. it could be from the bus, the café you go to, a neighbor, a friend of a friend of a friend. It’s a mystery.

But boy when he saw you, did something just click.

Prone to dellusion

heres why; Pisces is all about dreams, fantasy and escapism. because of this Kyungsoo is someone who is really in love with love. His yandere side just amplifies that. He believes that him catching sight of you (on a whim in public) is destiny or love at first sight, he thinks all his stalking and love letters are just parts of a romantic courting process, deems you two soulmates before you have even said a word to him.

Because pisces is ruled by Neptune ( a planet that often blurs the lines between reality and fantasy) Kyungsoo is borderline mentally unstable because he genuinely elievs all of his daydreams and can’t decipher a reality in which you two aren’t together.

Sends you a gift like everyday.

It’s always an oddly convenient gift too. like if you accidenetly ruined a shirt one day, you’ll wake up the next morning to an exact replica of that shirt sitting on your doorstep.

While part of you is sorta thankful, another part of you is terrified because this must mean that your stalker is someone who knows even the most microscopic details about you.

he also sends you love letters everyday.

these aren’t just little ‘I love you’ notes either.

No.

They’re multi-paged letters filled top to bottom with utter poetry about a deep infatuation with you.

as if the dedication isn’t surprising enough, the details inside the writing is wild and makes you insanely paranoid.

Once you begin to realize that you’re under someones’ microscope, you begin to take percation by closing windows, buying locks, changing up your routine and investing in some self defense.

He just finds this cute and will mention it in his letters

“While I do wish for you to say

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jjoelswatch · 5 years

Text

I HAVE SEEN THE WAR OF THE STARS

This was a very different Star Wars movie in the best ways possible. Whether you loved it or hated it, this movie would not have been possible without SW:TLJ, full stop. Personally, I liked this movie a lot. SW:ROTS is my favorite just because it’s a) the movie that got me to like Star Wars and b) Anakin, so nothing really compares to that for me but. I think I can largely attribute what I did like about this movie to how much it reminded me of story arcs in Clone Wars or Rebels (namely Mortis, Malachor, and the World Between Worlds), with the little caveats/side quests and side characters and the focus on arcane Force powers.

What I liked:

Kylo Ren and Rey being collective badasses on two opposite spectrums of the Force. You really get the sense that as things continue to become unbalanced, the more and more their powers grow. This movie is truly a love letter to fans of both Rey and Kylo Ren, because they both have largely satisfying developments (in their powers and their character growth). I’ve never hated Kylo Ren like a lot of people do. I like his character, I think he’s - at least - cool. This movie really showcased how formidable he was right off the bat-- from Title Scroll to opening scene. And if this movie showed how powerful he was, it REALLY doubled down on how strong Rey is. More on this throughout this ramble post.

Holy Sith lore, Batman.

Rey’s training sequence was everything Luke’s training sequence in SW:TESB should have been (limited ofc by film techniques of its time); I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know a lot of people are complaining about it, since she adamantly chose not to walk the path of a Jedi, but I liked that Leia got to be her Jedi Master.

Even though it was in the trailer, Rey flipping over the Kylo’s ship and slicing the wing off with her lightsaber was rad af.

Also followed by another rad af moment of her Force pulling the ship, like damn girl.

My face when Rey used Sith lightning was one of genuine shock like holy shit. This is also when I knew the “Force bloodline” twist ahead of time. It allowed me to become (mostly) okay with it. But damn, even Kylo Ren is like “...fuck”.

AUDIBLE SIGH OF RELIEF THAT CHEWIE DIDN’T DIE. Actual personification of that one bear vine.

Former spice-runner Poe is...sexy. What a concept.

Kijimi planet sequence was really cool. It also hammered home the entire space nazi motif in a very in-your-face way, which I appreciated because I feel like people try to rationalize the Empire and First Order as not being that, when that��s literally what they are. It also introduced Zorii Bliss, who I really enjoyed.

I really liked the style of the Force bond/Force Dyad moments in this movie. We got a good handful of them in TLJ and they were cool (and confirmed to not just be Snoke causing them with that movie’s end scene), but these were better. Just the way the scenes transition and the tangible objects being transferred between them.

Her parentage reveal, the mirror of the “join me” scene from TLJ [chef’s kiss] *

General Hux being the spy really reminded me of Alexsandr Kallus being Fulcrum in SW:Rebels, except Kallus was hotter and had less petty reasons for betraying the Empire.

The space horse...tusk...creatures. I love them.

Rey and Kylo Ren’s fight on the Death Star wreckage. Finally, at long last, we get to see some prequels level Jedi flips and jumps. FINALLY!

Leia’s last sacrifice c’:

Rey striking down Kylo Ren, healing him, telling him that she had wanted to take his hand when he offered, but she’d wanted to take Ben’s hand. So perfect.

Ben and Han’s mirrored scene from the bridge scene in TFA with Kylo and Han, line for line, with the right choice made this time. Just the combined effort of his father’s memory and his mother’s sacrifice having him throw his lightsaber into the ocean, killing Kylo Ren and becoming Ben Solo once more. So emotionally satisfying. **

Also: “Dad...” “I know.” very nice callback to TESB.

Force Ghost!Luke c’: catching that lightsaber as Rey goes to throw it into the flames; nice resolution to Luke’s arc from TLJ.

LUKE AND LEIA TRAINING SCENE FLASHBACK!!

Kylo Ren’s redemption/turn to the light was something that I thought I would hate, but I actually thought it was the one consistent character arc in the sequel films. I actually enjoyed it a lot, like everything about him turning to the light was handled well and you can track its path through the entire sequel trilogy. Don’t @ me.

Ben doing the classic Han Solo No Look Shot-- with Lando’s blaster (how did he get that?)

Ben absolutely butchering the Knights of Ren wearing the space equivalent of a sweater and jeans. Just the epitome of chaotic Skywalker/Solo energy. Iconic.

Enjoyed Ben’s little shrug of “finally” when Rey used their Force bond to transfer him one of the lightsabers to use. Was sitting there watching him fight like, get this man a lightsaber.

Also, regarding that moment, just the pause within their Force bond, actually, truly seeing each other.

All the voices of the Jedi. Chills. I heard Luke, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Windu, Kanan, Anakin. Ahsoka. ***

Rey’s sacrifice. Ben’s sacrifice. For a moment, I thought they were going to kill both of them and Palpatine (which I would have hated and appreciated at once; zero it out, bring balance to the Force via a flatline), or leave Rey dead and Ben alive to be haunted by his own deeds and demons. It was a surprise that Ben could use Force healing in the way Rey displayed earlier in the film, but a good one. Thanos vc: a soul for a soul.

“Ben” c’: such a bittersweet moment of acknowledgement and redemption tbh. ****

Rey burying Luke (Anakin’s) and Leia’s sabers on Tatooine c’: *****

Rey’s yellow lightsaber made from her staff. I wonder if it’s double-bladed (I bet it is).

I had a feeling one way or another that by the end of the movie Rey would be taking the Skywalker name for herself. I’m sure this made a lot of people angry. I’m not one of them.

What I didn’t like:

Not much tbh!

The Reylo kiss I guess, since it felt shoehorned in since they were both enemies 12 hours prior (if that). It would have felt more natural if it had just been a brief embrace or (as a friend suggested) a forehead touch. I’m totally okay with Rey and Ben having this strong connection through the Force, but no matter where you stand on the idea of those characters being romantically involved, you have to admit that they just weren’t there yet to have that kiss. ******

Conflicted that the Skywalker bloodline is gone. Like, trust me, I know the point - or one of the major ones - of this film is that blood doesn’t dictate choices/blood isn’t important, but like...I really love the Skywalkers, okay?

Palpatine being alive in this pretty much invalidates Anakin’s journey in the first six episodes, which sucks because in this house we love and appreciate Anakin Skywalker. You get a sense that Palpatine’s return was definitely never the end goal for this trilogy. It doesn’t feel planned because it’s never explained how he’s back, how he survived. We’re left to assume that it’s Sith power sustaining him. We never find out how Palpatine (who’s basically a zombie, I mean, look at him) managed to create a massive fleet of Star Destroyers capable of destroying planets. That’s just how it is, deal with it.

Asterisks/Questions Unanswered/Misc.:

* Still can’t believe Rey Palpatine fan theories DID THAT. Press F to pay respects to my Rey Kenobi theories (which would have made more sense with a Force bond but WHATEVER).

** This is where I would have wanted Anakin’s Force Ghost moment to be, especially since Kylo Ren idolized the ideal of Vader for so long, I felt it would have been a nice touch to have Anakin step in here, while across the galaxy Rey is being reached out to by Luke. Ultimately though, I think Han worked best.

*** Look, I know Ahsoka’s voice was in the past Jedi/Force Ghost moment, but like...my girl ain’t dead. Togruta live for over 200+ years, plus she was resurrected with the power of The Daughter. She just Force Skyped in to give Rey an inspirational line. Also Ahsoka is...not a Jedi, so ? interesting.

On that note, the above scene also reminds me 100% of Ezra’s moment in The World Between Worlds.

**** Really wish redemption didn’t always have to mean death, but I also understand that just like in ROTJ with Vader, there was a slim-to-none chance of a future for Ben after doing everything he’d done. But I also think death is...an easy out, when you don’t want to think about how a character can continue to atone for their deeds. I would have liked to see Ben live.

***** As for burying Luke and Leia’s sabers in the sands of Tatooine, Luke never associated himself with Anakin’s saber, so she buried Anakin’s saber in a place he hated and associated with so much pain and loss.

****** Reylo has never really been a ship I sailed, though I’ve never expressly hated it (there are certainly far more uncomfortable scenes with Anakin and Padma in AOTC than there have been between Rey and Kylo Ren in the sequel films), but if one of them is going to die, don’t have them kiss. If you’re going to have them kiss, let them live.

Finn never really did get to tell Rey what he wanted to tell her, huh? I joke. I think it’s obvious by the final act of the movie that he wanted to tell her that he could feel the Force, that he’s Force sensitive. This was hinted at in TFA during several beats (especially when he fights Kylo Ren-- anyone can use a lightsaber, but it’s kinda curious that he could hold his own for a bit).

This movie radiates a bi energy in ways I can’t describe. All the stuff with Poe being real concerned about what Finn wanted to tell Rey when he thought they were going to die? Poe and Zorii? Finn and Jannah? Poe and Rey? Really can’t believe they cut away before Finn and Poe kissed in the end celebration scene.

Ben Solo > Kylo Ren

#sw:tros #sw:tros spoilers #tros spoilers #star wars spoilers #episode ix spoilers #episode 9 spoilers #unless you're tagging it something weird that should about cover it for spoilers

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umbralich · 5 years

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Never ending survey

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

Tagged by: @lareine-kira and @paleshadeofrose

Tagging: @hangedemperor , @istolin , @maximiloix , @trahja-tia , @eorzeasfrozenknight , @charm-in-spades , @thorcatte , @haila-wetyios , @a-sharlayan-abroad

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BASICS.

FULL NAME: Varg Blacksoul, formerly Timur Oronir NICKNAME: Varg-Varg (given by Lareine), Stiffy and Grumpy (given by Silke) AGE: 54 BIRTHDAY: 9th sun of the 1st astral moon ETHNIC GROUP: Xaela Au Ra NATIONALITY: Othard, Ishgard LANGUAGE/S: Common, xaelic, ishgardian SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single and not looking for company. HOME TOWN / AREA: Dawn Throne, Azim Steppe CURRENT HOME: Pillars, Ishgard PROFESSION: Paladin, medic/healer at Ishgard’s service.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Long and silvery grey. EYES: Black with white limbal rings, small irises. FACE: Angular features, long nose, high cheekbones. LIPS: Narrow, often cracked, slightly darker than his usual skin color. COMPLEXION: Grayish purple BLEMISHES: Dark circles SCARS: Lots of scars which he keeps hidden at all times. Two thick, long ones are visible and almost go across his right eye. TATTOOS: No tattoos. HEIGHT: 210cm WEIGHT: Slightly underweight BUILD: Slender but masculine, somewhat toned. FEATURES: Black markings around eyes, and naturally thick, black claws. ALLERGIES: None USUAL HAIR STYLE: At work or formal meetings it’s combed back either completely or with some locks on his temples left loose. In more casual situations he mostly just lets it be. USUAL FACE LOOK: Calm, focused, narrowed eyes. USUAL CLOTHING: Full, dignified heavy armor or parts of it combined with a long coat, formal robes, jodhpurs, vests, blouses and high-heeled boots.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Imprisonment, being held or tied down, physical pain, betrayal. ASPIRATION/S: To be successful, self-sufficient and powerful until the end, to bring as many as possible wrongdoers to justice, to find an heir, and catch people still on the loose who managed to escape his revenge long ago.

POSITIVE TRAITS: He keeps his word, doesn’t leave things unfinished, is a good motivator for slackers, aims for high-quality results in everything, is reasonable and logical.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Insensible towards most of people, logic always comes before his own or other people’s feelings, very straightforward, capable of cruelty if necessary.

TEMPERAMENT: Calm SOUL TYPE/S: Thinker ANIMALS: Gray wolf

VICE HABIT/S: Smoking. He hates it, but it’s the least harmful thing that calms his nerves down, and he’s addicted. He tries to limit it though, and use it only in worst occasions, since he doesn’t want the side effects affecting his health or work. If things get especially grim, he also has full stashes of potent liquor and intravenous sedatives.

FAITH: Science usually comes first, but he’s also spiritual in some way. It’s one of those topics he doesn’t discuss with anyone. Some of his duties include working as a cleric, so it may have something to do with Halone. Or then it doesn’t, and it’s just another job.

GHOSTS?: Has seen them with his own eyes so can’t deny their existence. AFTERLIFE?: He hopes it exists, for reasons. REINCARNATION?: It’s a possibility.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Generally neutral, but on demand would choose the side of underdogs: ignoble, the poor and the sick, minors etc. Wouldn’t show his alignment publicly if it was a threat to himself. Would also pretend to be supporting the oppressor, only trying to sabotage their work at every opportunity. Even I’m not sure would he actually die for anyone else or some common cause. He has fled once to save his own hide and he could do it again. Knows main points of what’s going on and where around the world for the sake of common knowledge, but is only interested in topics that concern himself. Has been a target for racists since arriving to Ishgard as a teenager, so he despises them from the bottom of his heart.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Learned

FAMILY.

FATHER : Not relevant MOTHER : Not relevant SIBLINGS : None that he knows of EXTENDED FAMILY: Iris Ymir (patient and protege) and Arsene Dreadeois (butler)

NAME MEANING/S:

Timur is a Turkic and Mongolic name which literally means iron. In Indonesian, timur translates to east and symbolizes hope by the rising sun.

All members of the Oronir tribe believe themselves to be direct descendants of Azim, the tribe's god of the sun.

Varg is wolf in swedish. Varg was also originally a nickname given by his friends at the Steppe. It was the only thing he kept after starting his new life in Ishgard and severing his ties with his homeland.

Blacksoul was given by his comrades in the army for being so ruthless towards enemies - both the ones on the battlefield and the ones captured.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Science, mythology, swordplay, alchemy, etc. Everything that has something to do with his work or hobbies. DEITY: Halone seems to share most of his values. HOLIDAY: Doesn’t celebrate any. MONTH: September and October. There isn’t many little things in life he gets pleasure from, but fall colors is one of them. SEASON: Fall and winter. PLACE: His estate, cathedrals, libraries and forges. WEATHER: Thick fog, rain and sunshine at the same time. SOUND/S: Fire, rain and musical instruments when someone who actually knows what they’re doing plays them. SCENT/S: Herbs, iron, parchment. TASTE/S: Whisky, tea, whatever Arsene makes. FEEL/S: Clean clothes, heat radiating from a fireplace. ANIMAL/S: Doesn’t like animals except for his chocobo, Mori. NUMBER: Doesn’t care about numbers. COLORS: White, black, blood red, gold, silver.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Accuracy of a chirurgeon, skillful with swords, managing to define a goal fast in any kind of surprising situation and being very patient and stubborn at achieving it. BAD AT: Admitting he has weaknesses, comforting people, having fun, small talk, relaxing. HOBBIES: Reading, studying, weapon maintenance, alchemy. TROPES: Antihero, tragic hero and mad scientist. Definitely could also be a villain. Depends on whom you ask.

QUOTES:

“Since you seem to be so worried of my… customers, perhaps I should take you along the next time I interrogate them. You would see with your own eyes what kind of delicate, exquisite and misunderstood individuals they are, when they spit on you, mock their victims and brag about the amount of people they have raped or murdered.”

“Today it happens. Make sure she is out of here before I return tonight. I am no longer even sure which one of them is the worse one.”

“It was a mere procedure. If procedures were considered intimate, I would be close friends with half of Ishgard by now.”

“Do tell me... If you work as much as you claim, how come you are always broke when we meet?”

“Very well. Play something for me. Let us see are you a man of your word.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : He’s been busy sticking his spoon into so many soups during his life that you could probably make a trilogy of his fooleries feats. The first part would tell about his early life in Azim Steppe and how he was forced to leave from there, the second part about how he found his soulmate and adapted to his new life in Ishgard, and how it all eventually ended up into a shitstorm, and the third one would be the current storyline. No clue about the name, though. The Soulforge would be perfect but too bad it’s taken.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Bloodborne, Dark Souls and Amnesia the Dark Descent OSTs are absolutely the closest ones you could get to Varg. Orchestral, choir, bowed string instruments, both epic and monstrous. Even if there were more peaceful pieces here and there, while listening to them you’d still have that same feeling of dread you used to have while playing the original Resident Evil and Silent Hill games and finding a safe room: you just barely escaped death but can’t stay in the safe haven forever.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : He’s quite different compared to my Forsaken shadow priestess in WoW, whom I used to RP for... two or three years? Long story short: I wanted something else for a change. I also used to have an old Forsaken death knight, who was a lot more similar to Varg, but he was more evil. He existed pretty much only for occasions when someone needed a true villain for some plot. He was funny however and I always thought it was a pity I didn’t get chances to RP him more often.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : He’s a mixture of four different OCs of mine, with a bit of his original spice ofc. One of them came into being in, uh, somewhat obscure conditions. Kept seeing him in my dreams when I was a kid, and he became one of my imaginary friends I used to have back then. And not just one of the many, but the closest one. Also generally in entertainment I couldn’t care less about Lukes and Frodos. Villains, tragic heroes and the like are my thing. They’re usually the most multilayered and interesting characters.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : Perfectionism. I’m similar and it sometimes drives me nuts to watch him neglecting himself while trying to achieve perfection. If I could physically talk to him I would go and slap him and be like “EAT. SLEEP. YES THE THING IS GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY. LEAVE IT.”

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Well, already kind of answered this one, but wait, there’s more: insomnia, nightmares, PTSD, misanthropy and cynicism come to mind first. And booze. How could I almost forget booze? I believe I know what misery is so I’m good at RPing miserable characters and make them look as authentic as possible. *lols like Alcyone from Magic Knight Rayearth* We both also have a strong sense of justice and nonexistent sympathy for those who use others as stepping stones. Aye I know, sounds a lot like a self-insert character, but it’s not like that. It’s more like... before meeting him/the OCs he’s based on, I used to be quite a scentless and tasteless kid. Similarities and peer support attract. And I’ve also learned from him.

It’s also a lot like me and Lareine. We became friends because we had 95% of the same interests and problems but perhaps that’s why we get along so well and understand each other.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : He would probably hate and like me at the same time. Or couldn’t decide. We both like peace and quiet, doing our job well is fundamental and our basic values are pretty much the same. We would get along well if we worked in the same place. However, unlike him, I have some horrid procrastination seasons, crippling self-esteem issues, tend to put other people’s needs and opinions above my own and keep stressing about things for 7 billion souls instead of just myself. I’m suspicious of pretty much everything else except Lareine and our plushie crow Agatha, except that Agatha creeps me out sometimes as well when she takes out a knife and sits next to my bed at night, staring at me, can’t watch Hachiko without bawling my eyes out during the entire movie, love puppies and kittens and danger noodles and I’m addicted to video games. Very likely he’d kick me out as well.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

A8 : Varg would never admit it to himself, but I think he gets best along with people who are a bit silly in some way, and who get on his nerves by being too carefree and doing stupid things. Lareine and Iris, when they’re behaving. Arsene, who’s kind at everyone. Currently Shaura is my favorite. Varg himself is so uptight people like them help breaking his gray routines. Also a bonus: he doesn’t see them as a threat, so that’s probably the closest he’s able to get to relaxing among other people.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse?

A9 : I’m a fan of my own characters. It doesn’t feel like I would’ve created them. I saw them with my third eye or something and I’ve just written for others to read what I’ve seen. I don’t plan RPs beforehand. I just let the hound loose and let him do whatever he wants. So far I haven’t got tired of my characters’ antics and could just write more. The only obstacles are limited hours per day, necessary evils like eating and sleeping, procrastination, trying to sort out my life, and the damn FFXIV. SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE IT OUT OF MY HANDS.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?

A10 : Ehh, maybe 4-5 hours.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #character info #au ra #never ending survey

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glorious-spoon · 5 years

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Nothing Fancy, Nothing Much

Title: Nothing Fancy, Nothing Much Link: On AO3 Fandom: Agent Carter Pairing: Rose/OFC, Rose/Michael Warnings: None Other tags: Character Study, Wistful Summary: Rose Roberts takes a job in L.A., and eventually finds her feet and her place in the world.

Written as part of the Fandom Supporting Migrants fic exchange for @musiclmaiden who donated to RAICES.

What with one thing and another, Rose has been in LA for more than a month before she actually makes it out to the beach. Surprisingly, she doesn’t actually mind that much, even though the beach was half the reason she decided to take the job when Agent--well, Chief, now--Sousa offered back in July.

Okay, more like a third of the reason. She really does like Chief Sousa, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that whatever Peggy managed to pull off back in New York, the options for a gal like her were...well. Limited.

Besides, LA is like a dream. Scorching hot, sure, but it’s a dry heat, and the shop down the street from her new apartment sells these adorable little parasols to keep her from breaking out too badly in freckles. She’s been able to relax her wardrobe a bit, she’s stocked up on bathing suits, and even Chief Sousa has taken to wearing a string of increasingly outrageous Hawaiian shirts, although she’s pretty sure that pretty blonde he’s been stepping out with has something to do with that.

Hard luck on Peggy, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Anyway, it’s mid-September before she makes it out to Will Rogers Beach. In New York, it would be getting too cold for swimming this time of year, but here in California it’s just as scorchingly hot as ever, and by the time she gets her towel and umbrella and picnic lunch arranged on the white sand, she’s all over sweat and ready for a dip.

Despite the heat, the ocean is still icy; she’s not quite sure what she was expecting. She shrieks, splashes, and topples over on her fanny, and someone laughs nearby, a small warm hand reaching down to help her up before she can be too put out about it, and she looks up to see warm brown eyes sparkling in a pretty sun-browned face, blonde curls pulled behind a bright red bandanna.

“You all right?” the woman asks, white teeth flashing bright.

“Fine,” Rose says faintly. She feels a little faint, and she’s pretty sure it’s not the heat or the tumble she just took.

And that’s how she meets Doris.

Here’s the thing. Rose has always had an eye for a good-looking fella. She always figured that after the war was over she’s find a man, settle down, raise a family.

That was before she joined up with the WAC as a switchboard operator and… well. Got her horizons expanded just a touch by a string of pretty hard-edged gals in uniform.

Of course, none of those affairs were ever going to last, but it was good to have a little bit of fun in a miserable situation, especially since none of that sort of fun was going to end up with her in a family way. Just about everybody got up to some kind of nonsense over on the front. Half the men, too, although of course she wasn’t meant to know anything about that.

The point is, she never expected any of it to follow her back home, but with Doris… well. One afternoon of splashing in the shallows and sharing the large picnic lunch Rose packed under her umbrella turned into two, and then three, and then before she knows it they’re meeting for shopping trips down in Studio City, and lunch dates that ramble into dinner dates without anyone paying attention, and by the time two weeks later when Doris leans across the towel they’re sharing on the empty beach at dawn and kissed her on the mouth, Rose already knows she’s done for.

It can’t last. She knows it can’t. But Doris is here, and she’s beautiful, and Rose didn’t survive the war without learning how to hang onto any good thing she can get with both hands for as long as she can.

She knows it’ll hurt when it ends, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth having while it lasts.

She’s right. It hurts.

It’s not even a fight that does it, which might have been easier. Doris’s mother back in La Crosse gets sick, and Doris goes home to take care of her. She even offers for Rose to come with her, but Rose has the SSR, and she knows, she knows that if she gives that up she’ll end up resenting Doris until she poisons everything between them and is left with nothing.

Doesn’t make it hurt any less, but she kisses Doris before dropping her off at the train station, and smiles through her tears when Doris turns to wave with one white-gloved hand, her polka-dot skirt swirling around her legs, and she knows she’s made the right choice.

It’s just going to sting for a while, but Rose is a big girl and she’s lived through worse. She knows how to move on.

She never means to tell anyone, after. She doesn’t really date much--or, well, she does, she goes out dancing for a night, lets the other agents and scientists and the occasional civilian buy her a drink and spend a few minutes spinning her across the dance floor to Duke Ellington, but it’s never any more than that. She’s learned her lesson, she thinks. Spinsterhood is starting to look mighty fine.

And then Michael happens.

He’s the last thing she ever expected. None of them, even Peggy, were expecting him to be alive, so that’s a shock, and then he’s tall and blond and handsome and...gentle in a way that Peggy isn’t. Rose figures it has to be an act. She’s read his service files, after all. She knows what he’s done. What he’s capable of. She’s watched Peggy slap him across the face in the middle of the SSR bullpen and tell him that she never wants to see him again.

She’s sure as hell not expecting him to ask her out to dinner a few weeks later when he stops by the office. She’s definitely not expecting to say yes.

Rose Edith Roberts is not known for making smart decisions when it comes to her personal life, though, so she doesn’t exactly know why she’s surprised at herself.

He’s charming at dinner and over cocktails later. He doesn’t ask her to dance, which is probably to be expected. He doesn’t use a crutch like Chief Sousa, but he’s still got a stiff leg, a limp that he hides well enough that she’s not even sure anyone else notices it.

“You can go,” he says, smiling, and nods his chin at the dance floor. “Honestly. I don’t mind. I’m just not one for dancing these days.”

Rose gives him a long look, then lies cheerfully, “Yeah, well, me neither. You wanna buy me another gin and tonic and finish that story about the faked briefcase instead? You didn’t really jam some stiff into army clothes and dump him for the Krauts to find, did you?”

“You know, that’s really supposed to be top-secret,” Michael says, but he’s smiling.

Rose shrugs. “I have clearance. If you don’t want to tell me, though, you can just buy me another drink.”

“What about both?” Michael asks, and the way he’s smiling leaves her no choice but to smile back.

So, yeah. Michael Carter. Didn’t see that one coming.

She doesn’t let him kiss her that first night, or the next date when he takes her out to the boardwalk and buys her a cotton candy like they’re a couple of school-kids enjoying their summer break instead of a rather battered pair of spies. Former spies, in Michael’s case.

He doesn’t mention Peggy, and she doesn’t bring it up. Peggy herself has been tight-lipped about the whole business, which isn’t unusual for her, and Rose has a pretty good nose for figuring out when to push and when to leave it alone. This is a time to leave it alone.

But Michael is charming, and when he helps her into a cab later and asks if she’d like to take a picnic to the beach sometime later in the week, she barely even hesitates before she says yes.

She’s been over Doris for a while now, but something about picnics at the beach just always get to her. But she looks at Michael, his blond hair gleaming under the street lamps, his soft blue eyes and the curl of his smile, and she thinks, yeah. Yeah, she can do this.

“Sure thing,” she says. “Maybe I can teach you how to surf.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll have much luck with that,” Michael says, but he’s smiling. As the cab pulls away onto the street, she leans out the window to wave, and then to watch the shape of him grow smaller as they pull away until the cab turns a corner toward her apartment and he’s gone.

She takes him out to Will Rogers Beach that weekend. It hasn’t changed much in the year since she’s been there. Still choked with tourists, the white sand shifting beneath her bare feet as she slips her sandals off. Michael offers her his arm and she takes it, but she doesn’t let him take the picnic basket. He doesn’t protest, which is a point in his favor.

It’s not until they’re sprawled out on the red and white checkered blanket, their picnic lunch demolished between them, passing a bottle of wine back and forth like a pair of teenagers, that Rose leans back on her elbows and looks over at him, at his bare feet buried in the sand and his sunglasses tilted on his nose and the pink beginnings of a burn across his shoulders, his blonde hair disarranged by the salt breeze, and thinks— oh.

She never really has noticed the fall, has she? Not until it’s too late.

Michael glances over at her, quizzical. “Have I got something on my face?”

“No,” Rose says. Michael is still looking at her, the beginnings of a smile starting to curve his mouth, and it seems like the easiest thing in the world to lean across the blanket and kiss him.

It’s just a kiss, nothing special. Just a sweet first kiss, entirely proper because they’re out in public. There’s no reason for her heart to flutter like it does when they pull apart, when Michael cups her cheek and smiles at her, when he says, “I’m so glad you did that. I don’t think I would have had the courage.”

“Aren’t you some kind of war hero?” Rose asks, grinning.

“Hardly a hero.” Shadows flicker in his eyes, then vanish as if they were never there at all. She doesn’t ask. She’s got a good idea at their causes, and she was in the same war as him. She knows how it is.

And anyway, they’re both here now, on this warm beach full of tourists with the ocean spread out before them and Michael’s hand still warm on her cheek. He’s close enough that she can smell his cologne, see the faint crinkles in the corners of his eyes, and there’s really nowhere else in the world she’d rather be right now.

“Thank you,” he says, “for coming out with me.”

“Thank you for asking,” Rose murmurs, and closes her eyes when he kisses her again. It’s another soft, sweet one, but there’s a hint of promise there now that makes her flush. When they break apart, she says, “I haven’t been here in so long. Not since—”

She breaks off. She’s not ashamed of everything that happened with Doris, but it’s not exactly the kind of thing you bring up on a third date. Even if she gets the feeling that Michael might actually understand. He has that look about him.

“Not since what?” he asks softly.

Finally, she opens her eyes. He’s so close, and his blue eyes are so pretty, his expression gentle.

You can trust him, she thinks suddenly. You can tell him.

So she does.

#agent carter #my fic #rose roberts

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lovelylogans · 6 years

Text

PRINCESS BRIDE AU

BC I CAN also i just rewatched it and it’s one of my fav movies so

LOGICALITY/PRINXIETY BUCKLE IT UP

please. please. y’all already know roman is buttercup. upcoming royal??? yeah it’s roman, obvi

westley is virgil. 1. bc he was socially awkward to the point of throwing himself down a hill as a way to communicate to his former love that he’s actually alive, 2. westley’s snark is iconic

logan is inigo. bc he studied for years and years under the greatest swordsmen. like, canonically. boy is inigo.

patton is fezzik. partially bc i like the idea of gentle giant patton and partially bc of the way he nursed everyone back to health (inigo from drunk stuff, westley from death) and also like he’s so soft and gentle and the end where he gets two white horses???? it’s patton y’all

deceit is humperdinck. on a related note, please let deceit’s canon name be on the level of ridiculousness of humperdinck @ thomas and co i’m begging

vizzini is uhhh. uh. hm. you know what. full absurdity here it’s the dragon witch (you know how the dragon witch was like a throwaway character except i’m basically shoehorning her into every fic i have?)

(the magician and his wife who resurrect westley are now joan and talyn, i don’t make the rules, except i do)

also tw mentions of suicide, and also torture

ACTUAL PLOT UNDER CUT

so! roman as the slightly bratty upcoming lord of the land or whatever on the farm, and virgil as the farmboy

virgil is a Useless Gay and as such whenever roman asks him to do anything he just “as you wish” and tries hard not to be too obvious about staring at him and covers up his affection with snark

roman, who is an Equally Useless Gay, just kinda. keeps giving virgil these useless commands (”farmboy! ....um. hand me those reigns!” “...the ones... you’re holding?” “THE OTHER REIGNS” “....as you wish”)

eventually roman does a “farmboy. fetch me that pitcher.” and virgil does and whispers “as you wish” and roman grabs him by his lapels and brings him in for a kiss

virgil however fully recognizes that he has to up his social class in order to be with roman so he goes sailing before they can marry but the dread pirate anx attacks

roman is devastated, ofc, and makes the “i’ll never love again” vow

let’s do the time warp again!

five years later!

roman’s accepted a proposal from deceit, bc 1. he’s the prince and 2. if he’s gonna be miserable may as well be miserable in a high social standing, right

plus he always kinda dreamed of being a prince as a kid, didn’t he? maybe this way he can enact some change

it is hard to remember such things when he is trotted out in the public square like a prize goat, but he clings to it regardless

except!

he goes out riding (one of the only things he still loved) before the wedding and gets knocked out by the dragon witch and co.

logan and his husband fiancé boyfriend (?) patton have mostly accepted this job bc they need money, and keep accepting the job bc... well, money

logan swears they’ll get out of it and he’ll find the six-fingered man, and patton doesn’t like the unscrupulousness of it but. well. they have to eat somehow

and he debates with the dragon witch about and he goes “you were not hired for brains!” “but i was,” logan says coolly, sharpening his sword. “and if you speak to him like that again, you’ll see precisely the other reason you hired me.”

yeah they don’t like it

anyways logan starts the fast/alas harm/charm rhyme game with patton to cheer him up. and then they keep it up bc it annoys the dragon witch

roman wakes up and logan notices someone following him (spoiler it’s virgil) and the dragon witch threatens roman. everyone on the boat hates the dragon witch, basically

but roman jumps into the shrieking eel-infested waters, swimming to the boat, bc as miserable as he is he doesn’t wanna be murdered for a war

patton ends up smacking the eel on the nose and bringing roman into the boat, huddling over him protectively and asking if he’s okay

roman gives him a why would you care look, and patton gives him some extra food as sympathy

the CLIFFS of INSANITY!!

and patton climbs them all up, shortly followed by the Mysterious Masked Man

“INCONCEIVABLE!!” and the dragon witch cuts the rope, and the masked man managed to cling to the rocks

the dragon witch makes to leave logan behind and patton looks anxious and logan smiles and shakes his head and says “i’ll be fine” “just... be careful, okay? people in masks can’t be trusted” and they kiss and the dragon witch urges patton and roman on

basically as soon as the dragon witch is out of earshot logan calls down to him

“slow going?” “look, i don’t mean to be rude, but this isn’t as easy as it looks. i’d appreciate if you didn’t distract me.” “sorry.” “thank you”

five seconds later... “i don’t suppose you could speed things up?” “look, if you’re in such a hurry, you could throw down some rope or something?” “well i’m not sure if you’d accept. i mostly want you to speed up so i can fight you. potentially to the death.” “...that does put a damper on our relationship.”

ten seconds later... “look, okay, i’ll throw down the rope, and step back from it.” “why do you want to help me so bad?” “well, that sword you’re carrying.” and then he goes on a tirade of how that exact blade and how beat up it is etc. is evidence of a good swordsman and it’s been a g e s since logan’s had a good duel

“...all right, fine. anyone told you, you talk too much?” “i could rescind that rope offer--” “on seCOND THOUGHT”

so virgil reaches the top and logan offers him a breather until they duel, and logan lays out his backstory in all kinds of matter-of-fact language

he tells the story of the six-fingered man after virgil catches him looking closely at his hands, and explains that he went from studying sword-making to sword-fighting after the death of his father, along with the twin scars on his face

he also explains the whole “we’re working with the witch to pay the bills” kind of thing and also patton

“you seem a decent fellow. i hate to kill you.” “you seem a decent fellow. i hate to die.”

do yourself a favor watch the swordfight again it’s glorious (that link also includes the inigo/westley convo)

logan, a nerd, lists off the routines. virgil, also a nerd, offers counterpoints

it’s the debate, basically. it’s their debate but with swords

“who are you?” “no one of consequence.” “i must know.” “get used to disappointment.”

logan gets his sword knocked out of his hand, and very matter-of-factly says “kill me quickly. and tell patton--tell patton--”

“i’m not going to kill you, for goodness sake’s. i’ve never had an equal like this. however, i can’t have you following me, either.” and whacks logan over the head

meanwhile, they see virgil coming up over the hill, and the dragon witch takes roman and leaves patton (who is worrying VERY MUCH as if he got past logan then--)

virgil comes up over the hill to a rock thrown at him and smashed very near his head. he whirls around, bringing up the sword, and patton emerges from behind the rock, another rock uplifted.

“what did you do with logan?!”

“he’s alive, just unconscious.”

“oh thank god,” and he lowers the rock, beaming. “this business is so dangerous the only reason we stick with it is because we’re broke” “well, understandable. i did the same for five years.”

“...so, uh, what now?” “i just kinda figured. well. i don’t want that nice prince to die. if you’re trying to save him, you can knock me out. i’ll kneel to make it easier for you, if you like.” “well that’s very kind of you”

ft. battle of iocaine powder, with a blindfolded roman, and virgil smirking as the dragon witch rattles off the varieties of reasoning (”you fell victim to one of the classic blunders!”) and eventually swaps glasses and dies anyways

virgil crosses over and unties the blindfold

“who are you?” “no one to trifle with. and that’s all you need to know.” “to think--yours was poisoned!” “no. i’ve spent the past five years building up an immunity to iocaine powder.”

eventually virgil lets roman stop to catch his breath and roman promises ransom, adding that deceit is a fantastic tracker

“you admit to me you do not love your fiancé” “he knows i do not love him” “are not capable of it, you mean” and roman draws himself up to his full height

“i have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream--”

virgil snarls and pulls roman along, keeping going before they get caught by deceit

eventually roman snaps that he knows he’s the dread pirate anx, admit it! and virgil does, and roman snarls that he can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces, etc etc etc

virgil, kind of testing him, asks about the love that he apparently killed. who is “poor and perfect, with the most beautiful eyes” and they bicker more and more, virgil saying “i remember this farm boy, i think.” and talking a game about how he died well and said “please. please, i need to live.” because he had true love

they bicker more and more and roman screams “i DIED that day!” and they see deceit’s horses, and roman snarls “you can die too for all i care before shoving him down the hill

“AAAAAS..... YOUUUUUUU... WIIIIIIIIISH”

and roman immediately throws himself down the hill after him

deceit realizes they’re heading to the fire swamp

roman and virgil have their sappy reunion “you’re alive! if you want, i can fly!” and the “death cannot stop true love. only delay it for a while”

and then... fire swamp

roman gets a bit singed by the fire, and virgil explains how he took the dread pirate anx is actually multiple people; ryan, cummerbund, etc etc, while carrying roman through the forest. and then he sets him down and basically immediately roman gets sucked into lightning sand, and then the rous’

they make it out of the fire swamp and straight into deceit’s calvalcade, ft. six-fingered man

“you mean you wish to surrender to me? very well, i accept”

but also roman sees them trying to kill virgil and basically surrenders so they promise not to hurt him

“i thought you were dead once. it almost destroyed me. i can’t do it again.” and deceit whisks him onto his horse before he can say a proper goodbye to virgil

virgil gets knockt out and taken to the pit of despair

(fun fact: the henchperson in the pit of despair in the movie terrified me so much as a kid, oh my god)

anyways they clean his wounds and basically prep him for the Death Machine

roman, meanwhile, is moping quietly around the castle, as deceit basically covers for it with his father’s failing health. roman has stress dreams and nightmares about the wedding, before he marches to deceit’s office and declares that he will be dead by the morning after their wedding

deceit simpers that he could never cause roman grief, and they’ll alert virgil’s ship, etc., all that, and casts some shade, but roman stays strong. eventually they make a deal that if virgil wants roman, sure, but if not, please consider deceit as an alternative to death.

deceit reveals that he hired the dragon witch, as they walk to the pit of despair, and the six-fingered man starts virgil up on the Torture

after that, logan and patton (since reunited) are having a merry old time knocking people out in the thieves’ forest and avoiding arrest, when patton at last reveals the discovery of the six-fingered man

CHANGE OF PLANS, logan declares, and basically drags patton into this plan. he also needs, well, another swordsman, so he may as well go looking for...

virgil! who is Suffering, highkey, when deceit struts into the room. roman has since figured out his letters to virgil haven’t been sent, and he is. Angry About It, which makes deceit Angry at him and roman has basically been locked away until the wedding

back to virgil! as deceit is ranting about the true love, which is a once in a century ordeal, and so deceit snarls “then no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will” and cranks the machine up to fifty

and uh. he ded y’all

not before screaming loud enough for basically the whole country to hear, including logan and patton!

who move towards the screaming, and are basically like “well, we’re in the middle of a forest, now what” until they stumble along the henchperson, who gets Knocked soundly along the head until he reveals the pit

they cart out virgil’s body to joan and talyn, and logan basically tells them that it would greatly displease deceit and so they have their whole thing (and TO BLAAAVE, which means to bluff! and rewatch the whole situation because it’s so funny and also like. oh my god. joan and talyn as miracle max and valerie)

so they get him the little chocolate covered miracle pill and haul virgil out

“bye bye, boys! have fun storming the castle!”

they feed him the miracle pill, but, uh, virgil’s physicality is....... incredibly limited

“let me explain! no, there’s too much. roman’s marrying deceit’s in less than half an hour. so we gotta break into the castle. and i have to kill count rogen.”

“great. the only trouble is i can’t move and there are sixty guards on that door”

basically they come up with the whole, like, demon entrance plan, which is hilarious, and come upon the head guard

“give us the gate key.” “i have no gate key.” “i see. patton, tear his arms off.” “oh you mean this gate key!”

wedding is happening, which.

“mawwaige..... mawwage is what bwings us togezzer... today.”

oh my god. oh my god it’s the precursor to the hewwo meme

anyways they keep talking “wuvvvvv.... TWU wuv!” and deceit snaps they speed up for it and they get the shortest vows ever

deceit gets roman taken to the honeymoon suite by his parents and he goes racing out to face virgil, logan, and patton, who is carrying virgil

in comes the six-fingered man, and six guards, who logan slays with ease

“hello. my name is logan sanders. you killed my father. prepare to die.”

dude fuckin sprints outta there, and logan follows

meanwhile, patton continues calmly carrying virgil until logan starts shouting for him to break down a door

patton gently installs virgil into the arms of a knight thing and stops logan from basically knocking his head against the door, before punching it down for him, and going back to get virgil

roman’s being escorted by the queen, who he gently kisses on the cheek

“what was that for?”

“you’ve always been so kind to me. and i’ll be killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.”

“....won’t that be nice. HE KISSED ME!”

logan has his Badass Fight and gets jabbed pretty bad in the stomach, but not before enacting his awesome revenge

roman dully enters the suite, and preps to stab himself in the chest, until he hears a voice from the bed

“there are very few perfect chests in the world. it’d be a pity to damage yours.”

“VIRGIL! OH, VIRGIL!”

and he rushes to kiss and hug him, and basically virgil reveals he can’t move all that much right now and is in a fair bit of pain

“won’t you forgive me?” “what did you do?” “i got married” “well, did you say i do?” “well... no.” “then you didn’t get married. don’t you agree, highness?”

and roman whirls around to see deceit

and virgil gives the badass to the pain speech

god it’s so. yes.

and virgil manages to stumble to his feet and hold out his sword, snarling “drop. your. sword.”

it’s scary enough that deceit basically immediately forfeits, and roman ties him up, beaming

logan stumbles into the room, holding his stomach “where’s patton?!” “i thought he was with you!”

and they hear patton calling from the window, beaming and holding the reigns to four white horses

and they uh... happily ever after, running away together, to Be Gay and Do Crime

#my post #text #my fic #princess bride #logicality #prinxiety

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brainy-storm · 5 years

Text

S417 - I Don’t Beli-eve You

General Thoughts:

okay idk why Lockwood can bring his son around to Important meetings, and I’ll let that slide, but hmmm I’m just getting red flags, totally thought that his son was going to die.

I am for Colonel Hayley being more trusting of Supergirl. Like I’ll accept if she still has to obey gov orders to do stuff on behalf on the DEO, ‘cause I think that’s in her character but I do think that she’ll be cautious about it internally because she doesn’t actually think Supergirl is capable of that kind of destruction

While the ep was about ‘Eve’ technically, I feel we didn’t really...get much of her, though we got stuff about her. Though her interaction with Red Daughter was great.

Supergirl bringing dougnuts - heh

‘Crazy Lex Girlfriend’ Pfft.

‘ILoveLex’ ....PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Team Up

Was nice seeing Kara, Alex and Lena working together

It’s interesting to see the difference because while it may have been a bit tricky, it was easier to work around Lena when Alex knew her Supergirl identity as Kara but without Alex’s backup it was...more difficult.

Also interesting to note that I feel if Alex had her memory of Kara being Supergirl she would most likely (*cough* 100% *cough*)be more on Kara’s side in regard to Kara’s initial reaction to finding out the Harun-El was being used by Lena.

I kinda expected Kara to be angrier, otherwise, what’s the point of this having been secret? I meaan I can see Kara apologising if Lena brought up how Supergirl asked Guardian to break into the labs to destroy the kryptonite and not idk...doing it herself. Hm, I just feel like the apology happened because she didn’t have Alex to back her up. Also, if did apology was going to happen I would have thought Lena would have apologised too hm.

Though I did like the part where Kara’s like I can’t lose. Perhaps a ‘I can’t lose’ in an actual fighting sense but also a ‘I can’t lose anymore’ in a...people/things she cares about sense.

Side note: Lena and Alex work very smoothly together and I like their dynamic.

I like at the end where Lena and Alex show their trust in Supergirl, which would make sense after them working all episode together. She definitely needs more people on her side through this whole ordeal.

Kara’s shot of trying to call J’onn made me sad though.

Lena & Lillian

WOOO I LOVE WHEN LILLIAN LUTHOR IS HERE

lol I like how she’s just like ‘yeah you should come over to our side’. Join the dark side, we have cookies.

though didn’t she say she wanted to make amends or something, weird

Those Luthor minds games are strong...tbf Lena did try to say at first that she was working with Lex but Alex interrupted her. This is definitely going to blow up later on

Lena reversed on those mind games, though - hoho I wonder what Lillian would have told her.

Lillian be like ‘okay I don’t wanna die so fine’.

J’onn and My’rnn

This, in my opinion, was the best part of the episode

No I’m not saying that because I cried in their last scene, ofc not, shh

But seriously, I just I LOVE GRANDPA MARTIAN SO MUCH

And J’onn and his struggles and finally accepting he’s the manhunter

and My’rnn being sorry for not conveying he will love J’onn no matter what

but them tieing it all up in the end

bonus soft points for when Kara kissed J’onn’s forehead...I love myself a father-daughter moment thank you so much.

(J’onn, I hope you left a message somewhere for your daughters...)

James & Kelly

I’m weak to sibling stories, I can’t help it

Also, I felt so so bad for James and his...ptsd (?). I thought it was well done how he was so against getting help, being in denial that there was anything that was wrong, but then he eventually accepted it and went to ask his sister for help

That thing where he was like ‘you’re only here when you can tell me what to do’ - like it’s obvs meant to be untrue but it’s such a sibling thing to say when you don’t want to listen. I FELT THAT.

Kelly ofc hugs him and says that she will stay - YES YOU WOULD.

The amount of times that James has revealed to been through this is insane, and I understand completely why he would be apprehensive when he first met Lena.

That said, uhhh if it does come out about Lena working with Lex, I wonder what James’ reaction would be, with him acknowledging he’s severely affected by it. Probably very conflicted, since the serum cured him but he’s been so tortured by the guy.

100% Kelly would be mad.

BRAINY

HI I LOVE HIM

And I love his subtle expressions throughout this whole episode

Especially the small exchanges he has with Kara - just that silent communication in that scene with Alex. It just showcases how he can read people. And event wordlessly encourage Kara, being one of her few allies that knew who she is, this episode.

His not so subtle just happiness at getting his ring back was a blessing.

He’s just so....HE SPARKS JOY.

I also like seeing back in the lab, thank gosh, back where he belongs.

The preview looks intense...looks like the show wants to show another side of his’s ‘not a robot’ and ‘has feelings’ character. As much as Brainy being in pain would sadden me...okay pfft I’ll stop lying...GO ON BRAINY. GET ANGRY. I’M READY. PUNCH AGENT LIBERTY, GO ON!

I’ve been waiting for Brainy to show either ego/irratation/anger for a while now. Looks like we’re getting anger.

#supergirl #kara danvers #alex danvers #lena luthor #brainiac 5 #j'onn j'onzz #my'rnn #james olsen #red daughter #eve teschmacher #kelly olsen #cw supergirl #my post #my text #long post #supergirl ramblings #my ramblings

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realmzenith · 6 years

Note

elaina ! :)

lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv

How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye

How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she’s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her

What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient

What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing

Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely

What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)

What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”

Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex

What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady

What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill

What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor

Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience

Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)

Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to

What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking

How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!

#defenestrata #SFsldkjflskfj GOSH she sounds so depressing in this #i swear she's actually not this depressing #usually #i mean she's just got low self esteem ??#anyways i lov mai thanks for comign to my ted talk #elaina #triad #my ocs

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clownmoontoon · 7 years

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While I'm not the same anon you responded to earlier, I'd like to point you to Momo's hero internship as a reference to Horikoshi's poor treatment of her: the whole thing is a 'fuck you' to her character, and the fact that every female character's arcs are so short and that they're never talked about again is a big red flag, especially compared to the male bnha characters. And does Momo's hero costume really have to be like That?

AW MAN I TOTALLY DISAGREE ABOUT ALL THIS

ESPECIALLY THE INTERNSHIP!!!!((but i appreciate you not approaching the subject in the same manner as the other anon haha))

uraraka and tsuyu (both girls!!) got AMAZING internships that we see a lot of!! both learned a lot bc of them, and we see exactly what we need to see that will be applied later. if you complain about the girls being cut short you have to admit that the boys were too! i dont even remember what tokoyami or tail boy were doing bc theyre secondary and tertiary characters! its not sexist to put the main character of a story in the lime light!!

ofc the intern arc is gonna focus more on deku!

now specifically speaking of momo’s internship

I CANT EVEN CONTAIN HOW MUCH I DISAGREE ABOUT IT BEING A “RED FLAG”/ “CUT SHORT”/ OR A “FUCK YOU” ITS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER BUILDING ARCS FOR HER AND IF IT MADE YOU FEEL BAD TO SEE HER LIKE THAT THEN

GOOD

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SORRY FOR HER

her internship SUCKED obviously but it sucked for a reason when she was in the tournament she never got to showcase her powers, so when this pro hero picked her it wasnt based on how well she could fight as a hero, but on how cute she looked

SHE EVEN SAYS IT TO MOMO’S FACE AND IT CRUSHES HER

she was so excited to even be picked at all but then it turns out its not for her brains or powers, its for her looks

this is what avalanches momo’s overthinking and over-analyzing personality to the breaking point. even when the red head (who’s name i cant remember atm) tells her smth to the effect of “wow this sucks but lets at least have fun” momo cant

she cant let loosethe whole time she feels like there is something she should be doing, and worrying that maybe this is all she is good for; being pretty

AND ITS ESPECIALLY CRUSHING BC SHE TOOK ON THIS INTERNSHIP IN HOPES OF LEARNING HOW TO BETTER HERSELF IN COMBAT

AND EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE HAPPENED

BC OF SHIT LUCK

WHICH IS LIFE SOME TIMES, REAL LIFE SUCKS SOME TIMES EVEN WHEN YOURE A PRETTY GIRL

so after failing in the tournament and suffering through a worthless internship, the girl who started at the top, entering the school under recommendation so she didnt even have to take the entrance exams, suddenly feels absolutely worthless

its bc of this that aizawa is so determined to fight her and todoroki in their next test

with their quirks taken away what they need is strategy

not power

in this moment, after encouragement from her friend, she suddenly realizes

WAIT HOLD UP IM A BADASS BITCH AND I CAN DO THIS

she’s wobbly at first but in the end they win thanks to her cunning.

AND HERE’S THE FUCKING THING ABOUT HER OUTFIT AND HER BODY BC I KNOW EVERYONE LOVES TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS((under the cut bc this post is already long haha))

momo, as she is written, is completely unaware of how sexy her body looks.

when jiro brings up like HOLY SHIT HEY YOUR CLOTHES TORE OFF

does momo get flustered and cover up immediately like most girls would?

no.

there’s a fucking job to do so she cheerfully responds “no worries i can make more clothes”

as if the biggest issue here is that her clothes ripped, not that she isnt wearing any. thats how unaware she is of anything physical about her.

something that i think a lot of people, and girls especially, dont realize is that when girls are naturally athletic/born with “good” bodies they end up not thinking about their body very much, if at all

theyre insecure about other things haha

i think a big part of why i respect horikoshi for momo’s design is that he made it canon that the students design their own outfits

momo, a 15 year old girl, designed this outfit for herself

bc, in her overly analytical mind, it was the best design to serve the function needed. IT NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO HER THAT HER TIDDIES ARE JUST KINDA OUT THERE

bc a lot of young girls who get more “mature” bodies dont even realize its happening and dont think about it til much later

I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF BY THE TIME MOMO TURNS 18 SHE’S LIKE HOLY FUCK MY OUTFIT WAS REVEALING

and you can spin this to mean “oh no horikoshi wants a 15 year old girl to be half naked bc he’s a perv” but personally i think its super neat that he took this innocent girl who has a VERY COMMON BODY TYPE among teenage girls, ((that is rarely ever showcased in anything i might add)), and doesnt even think about anything beyond her mental and physical capabilities, and never ever even mentions her looks, and made her into this amazing character full of depth!!!!

HER CHARACTER MAKES SENSE FOR HER AGE AND BODY!!!!!

THAT IS HOW A GIRL THAT YOUNG, WHO MATURED PHYSICALLY BEFORE MENTALLY WOULD ACT

THAT IS MOMO’S WHOLE CHARACTER; SOMEONE WHO LOOKS AND ACTS MATURE BUT IS ACTUALLY STILL A CHILD TRYING THEIR BEST

WHICH IS WHAT AIZAWA WAS SAYING FROM THE START OF THEIR FIGHT, AND WHY HE WORKS SO HARD TO HELP HER GET HER CONFIDENCE BACK

AND IM GETTING ALL THIS FROM A FUCKING TERTIARY FEMALE CHARACTER!!!! THATS HOW MUCH HORIKOSHI CARES ABOUT ALL THE CHARACTERS IN HIS STORY

MALE AND FEMALE!!!!!!

i wouldnt be surprised if mineta was a joke character made out of spite just to make fun of everyone who tried to call his in depth characters pervy

i mean all might was designed out of spite so its possible haha

#momo yaoyorozu #yaoyorozu momo #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #clown honks #anon #HONESTLY THIS WAS A LOT OF FUN!!!#I ADORE MOMO AND LOVE TALKING ABOUT HER BC HER GROWTH AS A CHARACTER IS STUNNING QUQ #moonime

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galimatios · 7 years

Text

t/a rambles 1

back on my bullshit part 1

... should look into the tactics ogre games for novel inspo bc my novel is also a political drama ... UNINTENTIONALLY actually id call it a coming of age story in rhe new adult genre since mc is probably 23-25 i have so many feelings about the novel ugh i love my ocs so much and i put them all om opposing sides for this novel the most complex relationship i have in it i think is alex and his mother or rather prince kreutzer in this au queen elaine and her son prince kreutzer .. god its so fucked up bc kreutzer loves his mother- he was largely isolated as a child and his mother was always so loving and sweet and they were so so close but the prince never knew of the shit his mother did as queen she is a tyrant she must have lost a child once. a princess, i think probably to the king who she may have ... overthrew or usurped maybe but regardless of that shes in power now and because she lost a child she became overly protective of kreu and consolidated her power heard of a plot to infiltrate her kingdom and assassinate the son of the previous tyrant king (?) and she just fucking ruled with an iron fist because she has so little trust in the goodness of people that she thinks the only way to achieve good is to force it and as a result she kills anyone who steps out of line thus making the people resent her deeply but to kreutzer shes his mother his loving and doting mother who does all she can to protect him the novel actually starts um after the queen is assassinated h a its not her story but shes a big part of it even after her death bc a big portion of the theme is like coming to terms with the complexity of individuals no one is all good or all bad and kreu starts out unable to understand this he has a very black and white view of moralitt like his mother at the beginning on his coronation day theres an assassination attempt made on him but he gets whisked away by the court jester after that a coup is staged and rebels take over the country and the prince is forced to hide with a traveling circus that the jester brings him to where every performer... is a fugitive or criminal! and thats where his personal growth really begins bc he learns abt these people and realizes his world view was wrong people are complex people do bad things... for just reasons and vice versa esp Keith who makes a major appearance in the novel his entire bg story takes place outside the novel as well hahaha but its a lot after a raid on his village, hes orphaned along w his little sister who is ill so to make ends meet / buy medicine he does literally every fucking crime under the sun starting off with petty theft and scaling up to murder literally sacrificing every last shred of innocence he has for the sake of his ailing sister who... dies anyway! and im thinking, tbh, its a fantine/cosette/thenardiers type sitch where this quack doctor is basically scamming him except instead of fantine dying cosette does anyway thats where he fucking hits rock bottom he could handle things as long as he had someone to fight for you know he was alright with it bc his sister was there, his saving grace but when she dies hes all alone thats probably when lydia finds him i imagine he would he on the verge of suicide or at the very least dying of self imposed starvation and neglect but honestly probably suicide julie's death on top of the crushinf weight of all the crimes hes committed the innocence he lost, the lives he took its just way too much and hes just a naive kid lydia finds him and takes him back to the circus takes care of him gives him food and water and shelter and slowly tries to reach him slowly teaching him that there is still life to be lived that he is so young, and it is far too soon for him to lay down and die that he should live for his dead family, because that is what they would want to keep their memory alive in his heart and he begins to come around slowly starts doing chores for the troup then he finally sees one of their performances acrobats and the trapeze and the glitz and the glamor its the first time in years where he ... wasnt thinking about his dead sister or his trauma he asks lydia to teach him how to "do that" he says while pointing at the stage and so she does and ever since then hes taken up performing full time as a .. daredevil type act doing outrageously dangerous things for the thrill of it it excites him, the risk he loves to see how close to the edge of death he can walk without falling and it fuels him makes him enjoy being alive again and he's.. happy god by the time you meet keith in the novel he's just this happy go lucky teen with this smugness about him a kind of dangerousness belying a sweet exterior he's all jokes and laughs at this point and you'd never be able to tell what he went thru at first glance or at all really bc honestly, at this point he honest to god is okay lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 6:00 AM he... doesnt need anyone's pity. he doesn't need anything but the feeling of being alive now and one of the major points of the novel is prince kreu's relationship with him... bc at first they really clash and kreu is just... he's a fucking criminal and all of then deserve to hang keith plays this off w jokes at first but kreu keeps being antagonistic bc he just cant believe a criminal like him is getting away without punishment but then one day keith snaps at him knife to the prince's throat dangerous, cat like eyes, the usual smile on his face no where to be found you're right. i'm a thief. a liar. a criminal. a murderer. i'm all those things. but i'll tell you one thing, prince: i'm not worthless. he pulls the knife away and walks off leaving the prince stunned after this lydia talks to kreu explaining that maybe he shouldn't judge keith so quickly hinting that the circumstances of his life were... not ideal when i first found him, he was already half dead. perhaps not physically, but in the eyes. you could see the reaper in them. hhmgmgn i need to think more abt the circumstances around this scene ah keith must have been looking for a good place to die

the music from the circus reminded him of better days, when he played songs with his family. i imagine him.. outside the tent, somewhere obscured and there's music flowing from its interior... he's tired. he sits down against a barrel and he's been starving, exhausted... letting sleep take him away on the songs from the circus back to a time he used to be happy...

lydia fines him and shakes him but his eyes look glassy and he's unresponsive

he's taken poison must have been something from his former days working as an assassin something he saved for himself just in case and that's when lydia takes him in and nurses him back to health she's a water mage w healing capabilities so she's able to do it and i imagine at first keith is hurt, angry why am i still alive? i im fucking myself up in the feels i hate this THIS ISNT EBEN IN THE FUCKINF BOOK IT ALL HAPPENS BEFORE IT KEITJS NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE BUT IM SO FUCKED UP ugh after kreutzer learns a bit abt keiiths origins he actually thinks a lot. and tries to make amends. apologizes to keith who doesnt say anything much he's sitting, eyes away from the prince, fiddling with the knives he uses for his performances

"a raid took my parents away. illness took away my sister."

"i did a lot of things for money. most of it i'm not proud of. but i would have done anything to save her... you know?"

"you've got someone you love too, don't you?" kreutzer thinks of his mother. the surrogate brother who disappeared on him and never returned "i do." "then, you get it." after this they start to really bond almost as siblings.. which is really funny bc kreutzer doesnt need to be protective of keith keith can MORE THAN take care of himself but its new for kreutzer to feel.. responsibility for someone else like this he was always the one protected before keith laughs at this a lot what're you trying to do? be my big bro? but secretly he ...really likes having family again as idiotic as kreutzer is ofc lydia has always been there for him but as a surrogate mother an older sib is new and.. kind of nice in canon modern au they really are basically bros LOL actually cousins via mothers but alex/kreu goes to live w keiths family after his mom (lain) dies so they essentially grow up like brothers i didn't even get started w the fucking mess that is alan and kreutzer alan goes by calisto also and he hes the court jester but he was trained from a young age as a snake in the kings court he was supposed to kill the prince when the time was right but alan and his dumb fucking gay ass FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM INSTEAD spoiler alert: its unrequited btwn alex and alan is NEVER requited in ALL aus its because alan ... doesnt love himself at all. he has no sense of... purpose or identity alex can never love someone like that but either way he becomes the prince's personal servant and entertainer and this idiot falls for him the naivete he displays, the timid stateliness, the unfitting title of prince bestowed on his shoulders- kreutzer is far too soft to be the leader of this kingdom and alan increasingly has the desire to protect him even as kreu grows older and more skilled in his studies there is always the anxious trepidation they also grow up together from around ages 11-present at the time of the novels start god alan loves him so much it hurts me but its so one sided alex loves cyrus in modern au ): alan could never be more than just a phase tbh poor guy alan and his low self esteem and depression the worst part of this thougg is that because alan feels aimless and without purpose when he falls for kreutzer he ... finally has his OWN cause to fight for and he takes it to the extreme betraying everyone that trusted him to do his job for the sake of a man who wont ever love him it bites him in the ass too bc i kill him off as a catalyst for other stuff h ahahahhahahahahahahaha not just kill him off but horribly because HE FUCKING BETRAYED HIS ENTIRE SIDE THEY ARE, UNDERSTANDABLY, PISSED Alan is so fuckong flawed hes a fuckinf mess and i love it ugh im thinkijg of another scene in the novel once kreutzer gets captured bt the coup rebels he actuallt submits himself voluntarily bc keith gets kidnapped and used as ransom keith tells him hes a fucking idiot keiths life doesnt matter dont fucking come for me! but kreu doesnt listen obviously and they torture kreutzer bc i love suffering and after that they make him listen in a mock trial to the testimonials of all the people hurt by his mother death to the queen! death to elaine of koel! all the horrible stories of lives unjustly cut short because of his mother it breaks him because he loves his mother so much but she's done all these horrible things he doesn't know what to do how to make amends the damage was done and he takes their wrath their scorn and anguish and i'm sorry as if sorry could ever fix anything but it is his burden to carry, his punishment to suffer in place of the queen ironically this makes lilya have a change of heart she was infiltrating the queens court just as alan did and she is directly responsible for her death her assassination, i think or the king's? either way shes part of the rebel forces and she DESPISES the queen good fucking riddance as far as she's concerned that woman made her life hell(edited) so she can rot in it for all lilya cares for but seeing kreutzer there bloodied tortured sobbing broken and taking the punishment doled out to him without so much as a word of protest(edited) she thinks... this... isnt right this is wrong. because kreutzer was not responsible for the sins of his mother as much as people want to blame him, take out their anger on him lilya was at first all gung ho about ending the royal bloodline lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 7:02 AM but she reconsiders this moment feels something tugging at her this isnt right

she remembers her sister back at the circus— lydia. who she always loved dearly but clashed with, leading to her abandoning the circus and joining the rebellion.

retribution is deserved, but should it be served? what then makes us different from our oppressors?

or sth like that so she rescues kreutzer takes him back to the circus. and reunites with her sister after so many years after that ik not entirely sure what to do w the novel LOL bc i know there has to he a big battle bc the rebellion forces begin to quell opposition like how the communist regime in other countries started in ernest bc people felt oppressed but then they went too far and started culling the middle class so then kreutzer leads his own rebellion force against them to take back the country then once he wins he uses his kinghood to dissolve the monarchy and embrace democracy instead asking lydia to lead hes much too tired to lead, and she is much better suited for it but hm inhabe to think more about that entire segment after this he takes over lydias spot in the circus as its owner and organizer and with keith he spends the rest of his days helping people just like keith also they properly mourn alans death it takes forever for kreu to come to terms w his mothers assassination and crimes he probably never truly works it out but he begins to be able to recognize that she is both the tyrant queen and his loving mother that they do not cancel eachother out, that they are not mutually exclusive they are one in the same UGH IM SO UPSET I WISH ID FUCKING WRITE THIS BC I WANT TO FUCKING READ IT the message i wanna convey is like people.. are complex, imperfect, and the systems they create are also subjected to that but everyone does things for a reason. no matter what that reason is and i want lydia to address this too when she becomes the new prime minister of koel a democracy is not perfect, because man is not perfect. there will be hardship, mistakes made along the way. but together we can grow, improve, and learn about one another— and better our society for it. and i believe anywhere injustice goes, justice will always follow(edited) sth like that ig

#the anarchist #notes

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