adiodont · 9 months ago
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next 3 lentic pages! homo hours
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tonycries · 5 months ago
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Kiss Me More!
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Synopsis. There’s always something that makes him lose control - and you love pushing those buttons.
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, rough séx, unprotected, bodyworshíp, stuff with pantíes, bréeding, slight exhíbitionism (Sukuna’s), Nanami and Geto are a bit mean, overstím, finger suckíng, dacryphília (Geto’s), pet names, swearing.
Word count. 5.1k
A/N. Bro my laptop crashed thrice trynna write this um.
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♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - “Raw?!”
Great, Toji thinks, he’s finally lost it.
Because sooner have the words left your swollen lips, all the blood goes rushing to his achingly hard cock - so swollen and already leaking hot precum all over your trembling thighs. Some dark, primal part of himself being poked so dangerously awake.
“Are ya sure, doll?” he breathes, and the words come out ragged - pained even. Like some part of himself wanted you to save no, was begging you to say no - for his own sanity. Because just the thought of your pretty lil’ cunt wrapped around his cock makes him feel lightheaded. “We don’t-”
“I wan’ to,” you give him a determined little nod. Spreading your legs further and oh Toji lets out a hoarse grunt at the heavenly sight. Hanging on your every word as you continue, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
That was hours ago - oh, how foolish you were. 
You never thought that those would be the words that make your poor boyfriend snap. That it would only take him just barely grazing his angry, weeping tip between your puffy folds. Up and down up and down up and- down went every rational thought. 
Too depraved. Too lost in the feeling of finally having you and your soft pussy and you-
“C-can’t believe you’ve been ngh- fuckin’ holdin’ out on m-me.” He was in heaven, making you cum over and over and-
And you were clawing limply at the drenched sheets, the headrest, Toji’s shoulders - just anything and everything for some semblance of sanity. 
“T-Toji-” you sob, “S’too much. I- ngh- can’t anymore-”
“Fuck! Been hah- holdin’ out on me.” he groans, like a mantra. Brows furrowing as he squeezes his swollen cock harder into your plushy walls. And if it was any other time then Toji might’ve almost been embarrassed at the way his sentence cracks ever-so-slightly at the end. Choking out, “One more- gimme j-jus’ one more.”
“But-” Big, fat tears roll down your burning cheeks as large fingers dip down to toy your sensitive clit between them - no rhythm or rhyme, just to get you off. “You said the p-previous one would ngh- b-be the last.”
Ah, you were so cute blabbering out little pleas. And the only response you get is a devilish smirk, Toji’s darkened, hooded eyes boring into yours as he hums, “Did I? I don’t remember.”
He did remember. Very well, in fact as he pushed you to your nth orgasm tonight. And it took everything in him to hold off his high as he fucked you through yours, whispering out hollow promises about it being the “last time” and just “one more”. 
“S’okay-” Toji nips playfully at your wobbling lips. Salty with the taste of your overstimulated tears. “One more- you can mmpf- cum f’me once more, right?” 
And Toji’s barely-there sense of rationality in him knows he should slow down. Ease up his bruising grp on your hips. Have at least some shred of concern as he fucks your quivering cunt rougher, like his personal sex toy more than anything. 
Yet, no, right now he couldn’t even think straight. Too focused on how your moans were so sweet. Lips so pretty screaming out his name. Snug cunt too fucking heavenly when you cum all over his cock, squeezing him like your slutty lil’ pussy was trying to milk the fucking soul out of him. So hard and addicted that Toji was hooked. 
You mewl a delirious little, “H-hooked?” Batting your hazy eyes up at the monster above you, who seemed well and fully intent on making you cum until you couldn’t anymore. “Y-you’re hooked?”
Whoops, did he say that out loud? Seems you weren’t the only one that was completely and utterly wrecked here. 
“Shhh,” Toji drops his head once more to kiss away your adorable pout - the one that only makes his balls squeeze so painfully. “Just focus on how ngh- fuckin’ food ya feel, pretty.” Fingers erratic on your throbbing clit, just soaked in your sweet juices. Moving deftly to spell out a messy T-O-J-I. Over and over and- “After all, this hah- pussy now belongs to me now, right?”
And it’s all you can do to give a delirious little nod, words slurring together as you hiss a low, “Y-yours- S’all for- ngh- you-” Hips bucking wildly underneath his strong figure. “Close- m’gonna cum, Toji-”
The only response you get is a guttural groan of what sounded like your name - followed shortly by a string of profanities as Toji speeds up his abuse on your cunt. One hand reaching out to grip onto the headboard, so hard that if you were in any better state of mind the two of you would have registered the sharp snap! 
The other almost-feverish on your poor clit - like it hurt to not have you cumming all over his cock now. Spelling his name over and over and-
“Oh I’ll let ya cum-” Hips stuttering and so so sloppy now. Sounding like his sanity was dancing away every time his hips slapped bruisingly against yours. “Gonna make you c-cum so ha- hard you’ll forget everything else-”
You’re letting out strangled little gasps in response, hips torn between running away and fucking down for more more more-
“Fuck- hope you’re on the pill, doll.”
♡ NANAMI KENTO - Painted white
“Whoops.”
Nanami well and fully thinks that it’s your fault he feels less of a man than some monster right now. He acts like it, too, holding back a sultry little smile as he fucks you deeper and deeper into the mattress. 
Close - too close. 
Close enough that he’s immediately pulling out of your snug cunt. So fucking difficult with the way you’re sucking him up so good - but oh was it worth it watching the way your swollen lips drop into a soft oh! Glassy eyes snapping down to catch the way he fucks his fist once, twice. Before spilling all over your swollen folds, painting you such an obscene white over and over and-
“Now now,” you can only keen in response as your husband hums lowly. Fist sliding languidly up and down his angry, red cock. “Guess we hafta hah- do it all over again, my love.” 
Yeah, definitely worth it with the way he had you all breathless and needy, your slutty lil’ pussy just begging to go over the edge - only to tease you at the very last second. God, it’s been like this for so long now. 
“So mean,” you give Nanami a little pout - one that has his still-painfully hard cock twitching so sensitively in his hand. Big, fat tears welling up in your eyes as you continue, “You’re being so ngh- mean, Ken.”
Oh, damn that little nickname - the exact same one you’d scream when you’re close. Damn the way you cock your head just right, batting your lashes so deceivingly innocently up at him.
Damn the way he snakes his hand down to the sinful little pool of cum spreading all over your lower stomach. Letting it trickle onto his fingertips - immediately shoving them between your lips to shut up those pretty lil’ moans. 
“Mean?” he manages to chuckle. Tips of his fingers pressing right at the back of your tongue. Slapping his swollen cock on your stomach, “Is this what you ah- wanted? Are ya happy now, my love?” 
The sight of you all teary and gagging around his fingers was almost as addictive as the sight of you covered in his cum. Almost. 
He sweeps his eyes all over where you were splayed out so prettily for him. Your glossy lips, the streaks of cum on your stomach, your chin, everywhere and anywhere - except where you wanted the most. 
It had started with an accident, really, when he’d pulled out a bit too early tonight. And fuck if Nanami didn’t think that sight of you all dripping and covereed with him was like the gates of heaven spread wide open all for him. A new, dangerous addiction. 
Which is why he’s pushing his fingers deeper, whispering out a ragged little, “Shit, you’re so messy.” Purposefully dragging his thumb across your lower lip to smear the mess everywhere. Your lips, your chin, inside. “So filthy.” He can’t even think about bringing himself to be disgusted. Dipping down the valleys of your chest, down, down down, to where his achingly hard tip was just kissing your quivering entrance now, “So perfect.” 
And without warning, Nanami’s splitting you apart on his massive cock once more. Jaw falling slack ever-so-slightly at the way you’re taking him up so readily - inch by fucking inch like it hurt to be apart.
“F-fuck,” you moan, the words broken as he starts moving inside - back to picking up that unforgiving pace from earlier, like he never stopped. “Hngh- s’too good- too full, Kento-”
“Awww, what happened to ‘Ken’?” Nanami cuts you off uncharacteristically. Hips slowing down to lazy, mindless little movements that have you gasping in protests. “Was gonna cum on your pretty face this time hah- s-seems you don’t want it, hm?”  
And ah, let it be known that Nanami Kento would burn down the world for his wife. 
But what fun it was to tease you - to have your mouth dropping in disbelief, eyes widening in your delirious state. Babbling out a broken, “No no no, Ken- hngh- wan’ you to cum inside.” Back arching off the bed, grappling pathetically for more more more- “To paint me white inside- Please?”
Oh, did you know how to push his buttons just right. Because how could Nanami deny you begging so prettily like that?
Because the sentence is barely out of your mouth before neat nails are digging into your hips as Nanami pulls your hips closer, milking his cock on your snug cunt - so hard he knew it would leave marks. His heavy balls on your ass, your ankles on his shoulders, nails dragging down his bulging biceps as you moan his name. 
Whispering, breath hot against your ear, “You’re right.” Voice so strained and dark that you almost don’t recognize it as your husbands. “So, so right.”
Nanami’s index finger coming down to draw an invisible line right where he could feel his cock making a mess of you inside. 
“Ah! Ken, W-what-”
“You’re so right.” he’s breathing against your mouth, like a little prayer. Tasting the sweet candy of your lips and himself and you- “The next spot-” Pressing his finger down right on that spot, hard. Like he wanted to feel himself more than anything. “Will be here.”
♡ GETO SUGURU - Pretty when you cry
“S-Sugu, are you okay?” you’re looking over your shoulder to ask. 
Nothing. Absolutely nothing - except for Geto’s heavy breathing, and the lewd little squelches from down below, his swollen cock just barely sinking into your heavenly cunt. And you know it doesn’t bode well.
You’d be almost worried if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were half-lidded, pupils blown and just locked on that single, stray tear rolling down your cheek. Such a dark little glint in his gaze that had you wondering whether you should be concerned for him or yourself. 
Yet you manage to choke out a little, “Suguru?”
Ah that snaps him out of his little reverie, suddenly too-aware of your plushy walls sucking the soul out of his hot, angry head. 
With work, it’s been a while since Geto got to fuck your snug cunt - and you needed to breathe, maybe spread your legs more. Relax, because it was so fucking tight and Geto wasn’t even halfway. The stretch way too sinful. Too much. Your lips wobbling at how massive his cock was, and oh- was that another tear going down your pretty face?
You don’t even get to confirm because several things happen at once - immediately, he’s pushing his aching dick in one, harsh thrust. Head dipping down to pool the tears streaming on his hot tongue, groaning at the taste.
“O-oh.” you manage to grit out, feeling like Geto was pushing into your fucking lungs. “S’too big. Sugu, ah!”
“Shhhh, gorgeous.” he’s dragging his lips down your neck, fingers dancing down your body to roll your ravaged clit between them. “S’alrigh- ngh-” And you didn’t know whether he was reassuring himself more than you. “You got it. Y-you’ll take it- you always do, right?”
And he was right - but you’d forgotten how unforgiving Geto’s cock was. How unforgiving he was as he pries away your fingers gripping onto the headrest - trying pathetically to pull away from the pressure down below. 
Hah, he thinks, intertwining them so mockingly with his own, as if he’d let such a pretty lil’ thing like you escape. 
Romantic - the way this was supposed to be. 
Yet, now, Geto was fucking you like anything but. 
“You’re not trying to- fuck- run away,” he’s purring in your ear, rubbing his thumb over your swollen clit once. Twice. As if trying to will the answer out of you, “Right?” Not even waiting for your answer before reeling his hips back, all the way till his fat tip was just kissing your sloppy entrance. “After we hngh- haven’t done this in so-” Slamming his hips down. Harsh. “-long?”
And shit- he was acting like it, too. So depraved and filthy the way he was drinking up your cute lil’ moans, tasting your tears on his lips while he couldn’t decide between bruising your poor cervix and hitting that one spot. “T-too fuckin’ long, gorgeous.”
The only answer he gets is your sweet, simpering whine of “Sugu- Sugu Sugu- oh my god.” Back bowing off the bed because it’s gotten so much. “C-can feel you so deep inside.”
Really, how could Geto even think about stopping himself from kissing down your arched back? Looping two strong arms around your waist to pull you impossibly deeper down his cock. 
“Ah! Oh my god- Suguru!” you keen as he falls back on his knees with you in tow, your back against his muscled front. Spreading your legs to fuck up so mindlessly into you. Jagged, long thrusts, bouncing you like a toy on his aching cock. Rough. “So much- so- ngh-”
Ah, your pretty little cries are just music to his ears. Fuck, he forgot how pretty you looked when you were all breathless and crying on his cock.
“Such a cute lil’ actress.” he coos, voice going up each time his heavy balls smack your ass. Fingers drawing such tight little circles on your throbbing clit. “Love these hah- pretty tears.”
“S-So mean, Sugu-” you’re choking as his thrusts get purposeful - calculated. Hitting that one magical spot he’ll never forget no matter what. Over and over and over while all you can do is cry out teary moans of his name.
Thigh quivering at the sheer stimulation, “Yeah- yeah, jus’ like that.” And oh Geto wishes he could taste down there, too. But instead settles for doing that later - getting those sweet, overstimulated tears out of you. “My gorgeous girl, cryin’ on my cock. Ngh- gonna cum f’me?” Pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your forehead - the complete opposite of his hips. “Gonna c-cry while you’re mm- cumming all over my cock?”
And as if he really really wanted to see it - Geto’s only getting sloppier. 
So embarrassing with the way he was whispering out sweet little degradations in your ear, guiding you closer and closer. 
So embarrassing with the way he eagerly watched all your minute reactions.
So embarrassing with how you cum exactly the way he wanted you to - teary and breathless. A quick scream of Geto’s name before you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears. 
Cunt clamping down so deliciously on his cock. So dizzying that you barely even register the hot tongue lapping at the fresh wave of tears.
“Ah, as perfect as I hah- imagined.” Geto grits out, sounding every bit absolutely wrecked. “Now I jus’ n-need to know if you’ll cry as much when m’filling you up.”
♡ CHOSO KAMO - “Just the tip.”
“Hngh- f-fuck, baby.” he whines into your open mouth, strong hands pulling your trembling hips impossibly closer to his. “J-jus’ a bit deeper- only a bit deeper, I promise.”
Ah, if only you weren’t split apart so deliriously on Choso’s cock you might’ve been able to actually form a coherent sentence to- what? Snap at him? Beg him for more?
You don’t even know at this point, because it’s been like this for so long now, and Choso promised it would be just his weeping tip. He promised it would be quick and he just “wanted to feel his girl’s pretty pussy.” Over and over again as he pushed your legs all the way until they were pressed against your tits, heels pressing into the mattress as he slides his massive cock even deeper-
“Cho!” you yelp, feeling the thump! thump! thump! of those prominent veins down the side rub against all the right spots. “You said-”
“I know I know, m’sorry.” he gasps. Brows scrunching as he nevertheless bullies his cock deeper inside your gummy walls. Choso’s cock too big, the stretch too sinful. Dropping his head to kiss your bruised lips, “M’sorry, jus’ a bit more. Jus’ a bit- hah- a bit deeper-”
And oh, he shouldn’t have done that. 
Shouldn’t have let himself that last bit of freedom, because he sinks only a bit more into your heavenly cunt - so dripping wet and milking the soul out of him - that Choso can’t help but think he wants more. 
“Baby…” Choso purrs hotly against your ear, hips thrusting in slow, shallow little grinds - and you already know too well what he’s about to beg for.
“Cho.” you groan, warningly. “You said j-jus’ the ngh- tip.”
“Awww.” he groans. So fucking pretty with his long hair undone, some strands sticking to his flushed skin. Eyes hazy and miles away as he looks at you through those long, dark lashes. “Jus’ a bit ngh- more? Promise I’ll pull out.” As if to support his case, one hand gently tilts your head up to press chaste pecks at the corner of your lips. The other starting to toy with your ravaged clit, “Please?”
And how could you say no to that? 
Especially not when Choso digs his knees deeper into the sheets, rock-hard cock dragging so agonizingly against your walls as he reels his hips back, back, back-
Splitting you apart all in one, harsh thrust. 
It’s all you can do to whine out a pathetic, “O-oh fuck- fuck! S’too deep.” The stretch too sinful, his cock too massive. Tears springing to your eyes as he immediately starts fucking you in quick, ragged movements - not even easing you into it like he usually would. 
“M’sorry, baby.” Choso sounds so fucking wrecked, voice as rough as his hips now. “M’sorry m’sorry. Promise I won’t cum inside. Jus’ a bit more- some- some more-”
And for all the remaining sanity you had left, you didn’t know how promises of “just the tip” turned into empty wishes that neither of you had the patience - nor the sanity - to fulfill right now. 
“Please.” you arch your hips off the bed - and nothing more has to be said, because Choso reads that lust-drunk little plea in your eyes. “Ch-Cho-”
“A bit more.” he lets out a humorless little laugh. Reaching above to lace his fingers on top of your head, pushing you down, down, down impossibly deeper onto his painfully hard cock in a pathetic little cadence to match his. “Jus’ a bit- more.”
It was driving him insane. 
And for all his apologies, Choso isn’t one bit shy when rocking his hips harder into yours. So bruising with the way he leaves marks on your waist, your tits, probably even your poor cervix. Whispering out mindless little promises of pulling out and nonsense about going “jus’ a bit deeper”.
“F-fuck, wan’ you to cum, baby.” The bed is creaking in protest as Choso picks up the pace so sloppily. Hips stuttering and uneven with how fucking good it felt - but hitting the right spots every time. His hands snaking down to roll your sensitive clit between his fingers again. “Cum f’me. Please?”
And it seems that Choso had a penchant for getting what he wanted. 
Because no sooner do the words leave his rosy lips, you’re seeing stars behind your eyes. Blood roaring in your ears, mixing with Choso’s broken little praises as he fucks you through peak after peak of your high. 
Over and over and-
“Sorry-” your eyes snap open at that familiar little phrase falling from his lips. One that you knew didn’t bode well for you or your poor cunt. “Sorry sorry sorry-” Thrusting, once. Harsh. Twitching so wildly inside you that just one more squeeze and he’d be- “C-can I ngh- cum inside, baby?” 
♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - A lil’ show
It only takes that first, broken little moan escaping your swollen lips and you already know you won’t make it out intact - nor will Sukuna’s sanity, apparently. 
Because no sooner has that sinful noise left you, Sukuna’s eyes glaze over, jaw dropping so uncharacteristically into a soft oh! Aching dick twitching wildly inside you, hips stuttering against yours as he breathes out, “What was that?”
He doesn’t have the patience to wait for your response - instead, squeezing his swollen cock deeper, fucking all the air - and the words - out of you. 
Which, unfortunately for you, wasn’t exactly the reaction he was hoping for. 
“Aww, c’mon.” the words are groaned into the crook of your neck, sending jolts of electricity all the way down to your dripping cunt. “Give me more ngh- of those-” Large hands tightening on your hips, shifting you around on where you were sat so prettily on Sukuna’s lap. “-pretty moans, brat.”
So that’s what he wanted.
And this was supposed to be something slow. Something lazy, and languid to get the king of curses off before that droning meeting today with his underlings - to take the edge off so that he probably won’t end up killing them all off.
Something it was not supposed to be was Sukuna spreading your legs so shamefully, splitting you apart deeper and deeper on his cock. Trying to find the angle that’s just right to rip those cute lil’ moans out of you.
“C’monnnn.” he gives short, sloppy little thrusts up into your heavenly cunt. “Where is-”
Then suddenly you’re wrapping your arms tighter around Sukuna’s neck, “Ngh! Oh fuck-” Teeth digging into his muscled shoulder, hard - hard enough that it might’ve drawn blood if this wasn’t the king of curses himself. 
“Found it.” And it’s all that’s said before he’s reaching down to spread your puffy folds further, eyes flicking between your wobbling lips and the way your tight pussy was sucking him up so good. Watching the way his massive cock was disappearing in and out in and out in and- “What? Not gonna hah- scream my name anymore?”
“B-because, Kuna-” you gasp, face burning at the way your thighs tremble with the effort to pathetically to meet his unforgiving pace. “They- they’re close.”
Humming in amusement, “Who?”
“Them!” you’re keening - and both of you know you’re talking about those footsteps outside, the thought of Sukuna’s meeting weighing much more on your mind than his. So you’re limply grazing your lips against his, trying to muffle those whimpers falling from your lips. “They’re g-gonna ngh- hear?”
“So?”
You don’t know what you’re reeling more from - Sukuna’s response or the way he’s increasing his pace relentlessly. Trying to pull those sweet sweet moans from you, no care or concern for the ever-closing footsteps outside. 
“I don’t care.” he groans, back arching off the sticky seat of his throne to fuck up into your sloppy hole deeper. “You’re ngh- above them, y’know.” Bouncing you like such a slut on his cock, “So what if they h-hear?”
And God you don’t know who’s more fucked-out right now - Sukuna, who was speaking mindless little nonsense into your ear, or you. Whiney and a mess, tugging on his soft locks - a warning.
One that the man himself blatantly ignores, instead having one hand reach down to roll your throbbing clit between his fingers. 
“Hngh- fuck!”
The moan escapes you before you can bite down on Sukuna’s neck, right above his racing pulse to muffle it. 
“Heh,” shivers run down your spine as Sukuna’s chest rumbles with a laugh. Pulling your lolling head away to crash his lips against yours. Panting into your open mouth, “Sneaky. But they’re only getting closer and-” Rocking his hips harder. Bruising. “-m’only getting more impatient.”
And then he’s fucking up into you with reckless abandon. Smirk spreading at that little ah! ah! ah! leaving your mouth each time he hits that one spot. 
You’re sure that if whatever unfortunate soul was outside couldn’t hear your delirious moans then they could definitely hear the lewd slap of skin on skin. Fast, so unforgivingly loud. His fingers just a blur on your clit. Just taunting those little moans out of you.
You’re gasping at the sheer stimulation, “Y-you’re so-”
“So what?” Sukuna spits into your mouth, “Don’t start ngh- sentences ya can’t finish, brat. Though-” His sharp eyes flicker towards the door, much more aware than whatever hazy mess was left of your senses. “I don’ think you’ll be able f-finish any of them soon enough.”
Barely even giving you the chance to register his words, you’re tilting your head in confusion up at him and-
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Oh, shit. 
“Come in.”
♡ GOJO SATORU - Blue blue blue!
It’s times like this - your blue lingerie almost in tatters, Gojo pushing you into such a tight mating press, filling up your poor pussy over and over - that you wonder when bones will start breaking.
Well, not that your boyfriend would mind either - he wouldn’t mind having to use a bit of reverse cursed technique on what was supposed to be a lazy little cockwarming session. Instead, too focused on how your cunt was sucking him up so good. His cum inside you so warm, the stretch so sinful, your lingerie too blue-
“Heh, what? C-can’t ngh- speak, sweetheart?” Gojo lets out a humorless little laugh. Fingers deftly hooking under your bra strap to give a sharp little snap! “You’re the one that a-asked for this, after ngh- all.”
“B-But, Toru-” you gasp, and it only has Gojo ramming his cock into you deeper. Awe-struck at how you were already so bloated with his cum, but still taking him so well. “Wasn’t on p-purpose-”
“This wasn’t on purpose?” And you know what he’s talking about - that barely-there fabric - the exact shade of his eyes. Only one glance at it had Gojo feeling like something snapped - possibly his restraint, maybe his sanity. Definitely you by the end of this. “This?” 
And you can’t even act coy - you don’t get the chance to. 
Because Gojo’s immediately got his hands everywhere. On your swollen breasts, your hips, the hem of your panties that he just barely had the patience to slide aside before stuffing you full. 
“Y-yes?” you ask, deliciously. Cunt clenching so sinfully around his throbbing cock in- fear? Anticipation? As he looked down so starved at you. 
“F-fuck. Ya shouldn’t have done this.” Gojo’s dragging his lips down your neck, soft. The exact opposite of how bruising his hips were of yours. “Oh, ya shouldn’t have done this-” Lewd curiosity getting the best of him as he dips his hand lower, pressing down just slightly on your lower stomach. “Because now,” Those blue eyes widening at the way his cum gushes down your legs, down his legs. “-m’not gonna let you go until I fuckin’ ruin these.”
And if you were in any better state of mind you could’ve almost laughed - because Gojo was acting like the soaked, flimsy fabric hanging around your body wasn’t already far, far past any salvation. 
No, he was fucking you like he was going to ruin them all over again. Tightening your legs thrown over his shoulders, folding you in half like some ragdoll as he bends down, down, down-
RIP!
You’re gasping at the sharp tear of fabric, one that you barely hear over the fucking obscene squelches from below. “T-Toru-” you squeal, ankles locking in warning. “These ngh- w-were expensive.”
“So?” And for all the world, Gojo has the audacity to sound so genuinely confused. Whispering a soft oh! as he angles his head just right to catch that sinful little tear in your panties. “Whoopsies.”
But, really, what your unregretful boyfriend was actually focusing on was how fucking illegal it should be for you to look this heavenly - legs shaky and limp, his seed forming a lewd little pool. Marked like you were fucking thrown to wolves, but, no, it was actually Gojo Satoru and he couldn’t fucking get enough-
“Five.”
The word comes out abruptly, strangled like Gojo himself was as bewildered as you as he suddenly blurts it out. 
And at your - fucking adorable - look of confusion, he’s kissing away the pout at your lips, murmuring hoarsely, “M’gonna buy you five more of these.”
That’s all that’s said before he’s only rocking his hips harder, feeling more of a fucking monster than he did when he was on the battle field. Wondering whether he’d have to buy a new fucking bed too with the way it was creaking under the pure power. 
And, well, it made some tiny, sadistic little part of Gojo delight to see the effect it had on you. Sweet moans of his name leaving your lips each time he draws rapid circles on your pretty clit. Hips fucking back down to meet his, so sloppy and needy - exactly the way he wanted you. 
“Sh-shit, Toru-” you’re bucking wildly underneath him, “M’close- so fucking close.”
He knew - of course he did. If the way your gummy walls were trying to suck the fucking soul out of him was anything to go by. Clit pulsing in a maddening little thump! thump! thump! that set Gojo’s animalistic rhythm. 
“Cum f’me.” he pants against your open mouth. Fingers hurrying on your clit because he wanted - needed - this so badly. “Cum f’me cum f’me, wan’ feel you squeezing my cock, sweetheart.” Needed to see if your tight pussy could take one more - to see if she’d overflow onto your poor panties again. “Cum f’me.”
“Ngh- fuck- Toru!”
And then you are - you feel it before you realize it. 
Just that white-hot electricity flowing through your veins, and your nails digging into Gojo’s milky skin. Leaving such angry red marks as you chase your high over and over and-
And Gojo wasn’t any better. Just barely having the sense to pull out as his balls squeezed so painfully and he’s painting your quivering pussy white. Thick rope after rope that the smug bastard purposefully smears all over your panties. 
So fucking filthy.
“Ten.” he’s groaning, and you already know what he means. “M’gonna have to buy you ten more after this.”
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A/N. Plagiarism not authorized.
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hazbinwhoree · 9 months ago
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BRO?$!&?& OAAA I SAW YOU WERE OPEN TO ADAM REQUESTS AND OHHH. MY SNAP.
i am in desperate need. of adam smut.
NOW, WOULD IT BE OKAY FOR ME TO ASK FOR ADAM SMUT WITH A SUBMISSIVE FEMALE SINNER READER WHO IS:
usually shy nervous as fuck but absolutely watches him when he thinks he isn't looking
likes to compliment him in general (at the most random times too, despite the dickmaster being the FUCKING WORST, and she would get that but he IS kinda fine so)
touch-starved, incredibly easy to fluster and tease (bro has a thing for his voices and looks too, one word or look and she'd be on her knees)
pretty insecure in general (and is a sucker for being praised in bed)
I'd also specifically like to hear what he would say to the reader ESPECIALLY THAT IDFK AAA GO CRAZY
Adam’s Sinner
Part 1/3 Part 2
A/N: I was so fucking happy to get a request you don’t even understand. Anyway here it is, I hope I did it justice and you enjoy it!
Warnings: Smut
Adam had been aware of (Name) for about ten years. They met during the extermination, Adam cornering her in an alley. Something compelled him to spare her, and yes he realized what a hypocrite that made him. Poor Vaggie. “Fucking run, bitch.” She bolted. Adam looked around to make sure no one had seen.
The next year, Adam noticed (Name) watching him, hiding behind corners and in shadows. She did this during every extermination for about five years before Adam decided during one extermination to confront her.
(Name) peered around the corner of the dark alley she was hiding in, watching Adam kill a fellow sinner. It should disgust her, but ever since he spared her life she had a strange sort of attraction towards him. Adam looked up and (Name) ducked back behind the wall. When she peered out again, Adam was nowhere to be seen.
“What’s up, sugar tits?”
(Name) yelped, jumping when Adam appeared behind her. He put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, effectively caging her in. (Name) could feel her face heating up. Adam seemed to find it amusing. “Flustered?” (Name) swallowed.
“You know I’ve seen you watching me for the last few exterminations. What’s up with that, hm?”
(Name) had no answer.
“What’s your name?” Adam asked.
“(Name),” she answered quietly. Adam had to bend down to hear her. His proximity made her blush worse, and he snickered. “I think I figured out why. No surprise really, of course you’d want a piece of the first man in existence. I’m the fucking Dickmaster.”
He let her go shortly after their exchange, but confronted her again the next year. As years passed, Adam would spare thirty minutes every extermination to talk to (Name). He found himself becoming fond of the sinner. Her story of how she ended up in hell was interesting, and it definitely helped that she stroked his ego with compliments.
Adam found himself looking forward to seeing (Name) even more than he looked forward to the exterminations. He was grateful Lute hadn’t caught on.
A few years later, and Adam noticed (Name) wasn’t following him as she normally would. So he sought her out. She’d told him a few years ago where she lived, so that was the first place Adam checked. Sure enough, he found her there.
“Sup.”
(Name) jumped. “Adam!”
“What the fuck, babe, not interested in seeing me this year?” Adam placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt, although while he’d never admit it, it actually did hurt him.
“We can’t see each other anymore,” (Name) announced, looking away.
“Bitch why?”
“Because one of these days we’re going to get caught. I know what happened to Vaggie. What would happen if the exterminators found out their leader was socializing with a sinner?”
“You’re not like the other sinners,” Adam argued. “I’d show them that.”
“How?”
Adam was quiet.
“Exactly. And to be honest, I can’t take the emotional torture anymore.”
“The fuck are you on about, ‘emotional torture’? Come on babe-”
“Adam no. I can’t let myself get any closer to you. We only see each other once a year and I got attached, and dealing with only seeing you once a year has gotten too painful.”
Adam was rather taken aback by the confession. He felt the same way but had been gaslighting himself to believe he didn’t. For once in his life, Adam couldn’t find anything to say. He decided the best course was the course of action rather than talking.
He leaned down and abruptly pressed his lips to (Name)’s. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened. When Adam received no response on her end, he pulled back, worried he’d fucked up. She stared up at him with this look on her face that Adam couldn’t place. He didn’t know if it was positive or negative.
“Again,” she finally spoke in a small voice. A smirk stretched across Adam’s face, and he bent down once more to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back this time, almost desperately, and Adam’s arms wrapped around her waist. She shuddered and he pulled back.
“Are you okay?” No teasing or cursing.
“Yeah I just… I haven’t had anyone touch me like this in a long time.”
Adam couldn’t say the same, but this was the first time in a long time emotions had been involved. He kissed her again and snuck his tongue into her mouth as she kissed back. “I want to fuck you,” Adam mumbled against her lips. “Okay.”
Adam pushed her down on her bed, crawling on top of her. He reconnected their lips and slid a hand under her shirt. “Damn,” he commented when his wandering hand reached her chest. “Nice rack.” (Name) rolled her eyes. Adam began kissing down her neck, sucking and biting to leave his mark. (Name) moaned and grabbed onto his horns.
Adam pulled back to shed his robe, and (Name) yanked her shirt over her head. Now that Adam actually had eyes on her chest, he stared for a moment. “So pretty~” he cooed. (Name) blushed and swallowed.
“Oh~” Adam realized. “You like that, don’t you? You like being praised?”
(Name) looked away. Adam grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, babe, it’s cute.” He returned to her neck, kissing down and down, her shoulder, her collarbone. Then he slid down slightly to press his face between her breasts. He laid more kisses on her chest before taking a nipple into his mouth.
Sensitive, (Name) arched her back and whimpered. “I like that noise,” Adam said, moving to the other breast. “Make it again.” He sucked and she whimpered.
Adam was aware he had a short window of time to make this work, so he pulled back and pulled down (Name)’s pants and panties in one swift motion. (Name) got embarrassed being so exposed, so Adam quickly shed his own pants and boxers to level the playing field.
He noticed (Name) staring at his dick and smirked. He took it in his hand, pumping it a few times for show. “You like what you see, baby? Of course you do. Can’t beat the original dick.”
He crawled on top of her again, nudging her thighs apart with his knee to settle between them. He reconnected their lips while his hand traveled down to the place she wanted it the most. “So wet for me, good girl,” Adam teased. Flustered, (Name) shut him up with another kiss.
They made out while Adam experimentally slid one slender finger into her. Met with no resistance, he added another one, and began languidly pumping them in and out. (Name) was shaking. Eager to hurry this along, Adam added another finger. Three stretched her out and she moaned against his lips at the sensation. It made Adam’s dick throb.
He fingered her, with his thumb circling her clit, until he decided she was well enough prepared, pulling his hand away. (Name) whined at the loss but was quickly shut up by Adam grabbing her legs and throwing them over his shoulders. She gasped. Adam lined himself up with her entrance and sunk in slowly, giving her time to adjust. She squirmed, his girth proving to be a little painful to take.
Adam reached between them to give her clit attention, and that loosened her up right away. He bottomed out with a groan, closing his eyes. “Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.” Adam kissed her again, basically bending her in half as he began thrusting. He swallowed her whimpers and moans while his pace picked up in speed and intensity.
He had tried to be slow and gentle, he really had.
Adam set a brutal pace, and (Name) clawed at his back as he pounded into her. “Fuck, yeah, you’re so good for me, tits. Such a good girl, all mine,” Adam talked as he fucked her, and his every word brought (Name) closer to the edge. “You feel so fucking good.”
Adam’s thrusts were getting sloppy as he neared his own climax. “Cum for me,” he murmured. “Fucking cum for me, baby.” (Name) did, her back arching off the bed, her head thrown back and mouth open in slack pleasure. Her tightening around him pushed Adam over the edge, and he buried himself as deep as he could, cumming inside her.
They both panted, holding onto one another as they came down from their highs. Adam pulled out and rolled off of (Name), collapsing onto the bed next to her. He pulled her into his chest and covered her with one of his wings, nuzzling his face into her hair.
“I’ll find a way to see each other more,” he muttered. “I’ll figure something out.” (Name) buried her face in his chest. “Promise?” Her voice was muffled.
“Promise.”
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bluur00 · 4 months ago
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𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 - 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎
hurt/comfort. fem!reader.
It’s been a few months after you and Kenji broke up, he said it’s because he was seeing another girl and that he lost interest in you. That broke your heart, knowing how much the old Kenji you knew would never do such thing.
He would never, yet he did.
“Why are you leaving so suddenly!? Can’t we try to talk whatever the problem is?” you raised your voice, your tears threatening to fall down.
Kenji didn’t look back at you, all you can see is his back carrying his backpack filled with he clothes keeps in your apartment, “I’m seeing someone else, I’m moving back to my house at the island.”
He left.
That night you cried in your bed, cried yourself to sleep, alone in your apartment, you sobbed your eyes out, wishing all this was a dream, a nightmare.
In those few months, you worked on yourself to move on and forget about the relationship and how it broke down. It’s still really hard to forget about it, what happened that night was very sudden.
When Kenji spilled those hurtful words, it hit you like a truck, that time your legs were very weak, it threatened to make you fall at that moment.
Whatever, you have to focus on your job, your life, especially in moving on.
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“Kenji! Bro, where are you going?” one of his friends ask, seeing Kenji walking in a wobbly line away from the club. “Y-Y/n, I wanna see Y/n,” he mumbled, one of his friends catched up to him, “you and her broke a few months ago,” his friend said, suprised on what Kenji was headed to.
“don’t care, need to see Y/n.” he repeated again.
“okay, okay, get in and I’ll take you to her,” his friend said, pulling Kenji towards his car and laying him in the backseat.
You were staying up late, reading a book that you always wanted to finish, but then a knock came. You ignored it at first, but it came again, you placed your bookmark between the two pages and went to check the door.
You looked through the peek hole of the door, and it was, ‘Kenji’s friend? who’s beside him? Kenji?’ you sighed and opened the door, “why are you here, it’s late.” you asked, not wanting to deal with your ex in the middle of the night.
“Please just take him, he wants to talk to you,” his friend said, trying to pass Kenji to you, you reconsider and reconsider, but in the end you took Kenji’s arms and closed the door on his friend.
You led Kenji to the couch, and laid him down, going to the kitchen to get warm water, but you then heard him mumble your name. You ignored it, hes probably dreaming, “Y/n? That you, baby?” he raised his head to your direction, you hummed in response, he then continued.
“I miss you, Y/n, so much. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you these last few months, heck, I had to get drunk just so I can forget you, but even that… I,” he paused, out of breath, hes clearly still worn out, “I still couldn’t get you off my mind, even the… the city has been questioning where ultraman has been-“ you cut him off by stirring the glass loudly, even though it’s just water.
“Stop your babbling and drink, so you can go back to your girlfriend, pretty sure she would be pissed knowing you’re here.” you said, clearly annoyed by his presence and him even opening his mouth.
He eventually drinks it a bit, before pushing it away and realised what you said, “oh that girl? Who is she?” Kenji asked, confused, “don’t worry you’ll remember her once you’re sober,” you said before leaving to go to your room.
“Y/n,” Kenji called, you turned to face him, “can you change my clothes? please, baby?” he pleaded.
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“No, your clothes aren’t here anymore remember? and stop calling me that,” you said before continuing to go to your bedroom.
Once you laid in your bed, you couldn’t help but think and remembered, how Kenji sleeping in uncomfortable clothes can pain his back when he wakes up, but your no one to undress him. Even so, you continued opening your closet and searched for clothes that he left.
Kenji woke up with a hectic headache, he expected to wake up in your apartment, especially remembering what he said last night. “Surprised you haven’t left yet,” he heard your voice coming from the kitchen, it seems like you were making tea.
“Y/n, let’s talk,” Kenji said, with pleading eyes, “please,” you turned your head slightly and chuckled, “still drunk? Thought sleeping it through can make you sober,” you said, taking your mug and sat down beside Kenji on the couch, taking a sip and placing it down at the coffee table, “whatever, just make it quick please,” you said.
“Well, that night, that girl, it was all a lie,” Kenji confessed, you showed a confused look, ‘he wasn’t lying last night?’ you thought, he continued, “I did that break up because, I was scared,” he paused, but you quickly interfered, “what do you mean scared?” you asked, sharp tone, highly confused on what hes leading to.
“I was scared, I realised that recently that time I was focusing too much on the baseball tournaments and interviews, especially with me being ultraman, I don’t want to put you at risk, risk of dying when I can’t be there to save you,” he paused again, his eyes beginning to tear up, you kept quiet, suprised by his real reason.
“I knew that if I didn’t use the reason of seeing someone else, you would make up a reason for us to talk and solve it,” he said, he knew you, he could predict you, and you were suprised of how much he knew.
“I knew that if I looked at you before leaving that night, if I take one look into your teary eyes, I would stay and I would fail to protect you from future dangers that can come,” he said, before he completely broke down, right in front of you.
Slowly, you neared him, ran your fingers through his raven hair. When he raised his head to take a peek, you opened your arms for him to hug, which he then took. He cried on your shoulder, as you stayed quiet and gave him a silent forgiveness, caressing his back, arms, his hair.
“I’m safe, Kenji.”
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base0h · 21 days ago
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NOT SAYING I LOVE YOU BACK TO HAIKYUU CHARACTERS
a/n - I feel like someone requested this with Osamu, nishinoya, ushijima, and tendou a while ago and it got deleted??? Sorry anon 😭🙏 bro writing this made me feel lonely. 💀
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader
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- bold of you to assume bro would let you do this
- well for this let’s just say he did
- you saw this TikTok about this prank where one person didn’t say I love you back to their partners, and you thought it’d be funny to try it on Osamu
- Osamu was getting ready to head to a late practice, getting his bag and shoes to leave your room
- you were doing some homework, so he gave you a hug from behind and pecked your cheek
- “Love ya, goin to practice now.” -Osamu
- “Ok be safe, bye Samu.” -you
- you said that with a smile, going back to your homework, acting as if nothing was wrong
- Osamu nodded, closing the door behind him, his footsteps receding, but then suddenly they stopped
- you had to struggle not to snicker at the sudden stop of his footsteps
- then you heard him coming back and you swore you almost let out a laugh, swallowing it quickly as he opened the door again
- “Y/n. I love you—“
- “Huh? Yeah I know Samu, be safe and good luck at practice.”
- he looked at you like you were Atsumu, squinting as he put a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one foot like he was posing to be in a magazine when in reality he was just confused and a bit irritated
- “…What did I do??”
- “You didn’t do anything what do you mean??”
- “Yer makin’ me look desperate here— I love you—“
- “…Yeah i know???”
- “Y/N.”
- “Osamu???”
- “Wh— don’t use my full name! What the hell did I do???”
- you couldn’t take it anymore, you laughed, covering your face as you struggled to catch your breath
- meanwhile osamu’s looking at you in the doorway with his hand still on his hip like a pissed off Karen that wants to speak to the manager (if he had a weapon it’d be a frying pan)
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literally Osamu ^^
- oh my god his face was priceless, you wished you’d taken a real photo rather than a mental screenshot so you could show Suna
- “I’m sorry samu it was a prank. I love you too.”
- “…..I ain’t making ya dinner.”
- “NO PLEASE I’M SORRY—“
- yeah bros done with you
- he was all worried for nothing 😭
- he thought he did something wrong but no you just wanted to bullshit him
- he still made you dinner btw
- he like gave you a plate without saying anything and eating in the other room but he still gave it to you (he’s petty)
- basically an Asian parent 💀
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- nishinoya probably says ‘I love you’ about 100000000000000+ times and counting, per day
- and he lives for hearing you say it back to him
- he still gets giddy when he hears you say it
- “Y/n I love you!!” -Nishinoya
- “Love you too noya :)” -you
- “…..RYUUUUUUUU Y/N SAID THEY LOVED ME!!”
- “THEY SAY THAT EVERY DAY NISHINOYA SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL MORE SINGLE—“ -Tanaka shouted whilst sobbing in the corner (dw Tanaka you end up marrying the love of your life)
- you saw this prank on TikTok and obviously you wanted to try it on your eccentric boyfriend
- but you did feel SLIGHTLY bad about what his reaction might be since you were well aware that he loved hearing you say it back
- but you’re mean so 🤷 (Jkjk you’re awesome just pretend you’re mean for this pls🙏💀)
- Nishinoya was about to go to class, giving you one last bear hug before he went as usual
- “Are you sure we gotta go to class? I like you better than math :(“
- “Yes noya— you have to graduate high school remember?”
- “Ok fineee— I’ll see you after class then??”
- “Mhm.”
- “Ok love you y/n!!”
- “Ok— don’t fall asleep in class ok? See ya later.”
- the fact that the silence was so loud that even kiyoko who was walking by was like: 🫢
- Tanaka’s jaw was on the FLOOR
- Daichi probably verbally said “ohhhhh snap 😬” with that exact face
- Nishinoya was frozen, and all of the sudden he just flopped off of you, still holding his hug position, and just like died on the floor in a dead bug looking position
- you legit could not tell if he was breathing or not 😭
- you killed him
- good job y/n, you killed the guardian deity of karasuno
- Nishinoya literally passed out cold from pure despair because he didn’t hear you say it back, and therefore in his mind that equaled you didn’t love him and were breaking up with him and the world was ending and aliens were gonna invade earth (bro what? 💀)
- he woke up with his head in your lap, resting on your thighs— and he woke up with like zero memory and woke up as high as a kite too
- he was giggling like an idiot, spouting random nonsense and corny shit, going from flirty and sobbing his eyes out back and forth 😭
- “Am I in heaven? Cuz you look like an angel, angel 😏”
- “Thank you goddd— for blessing me with this gorgeous gift— 😭😭😭😭”
- he forgot about the prank btw
- hit his head way too hard on his way down and woke up on his favorite pillow so yep everything turned out semi ok 👍
- hey may or may not have permanent brain damage! 😄
- daichi aged 10 years after this incident by the way
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- I feel like tendou says I love you all the time, but whenever you say it back he’s always a bit surprised
- he’s heard you say it a bunch of times by now but he’s still just a tad shocked everytime
- like he’s genuinely surprised you actually love him back 😭
- the first time you said it back bro cried 🥲
- he would NOT stop talking to ushijima about it, he kept gushing about how perfect you were and how he doesn’t deserve you and meanwhile ushijima is sitting there like: 🧍‍♂️
- funny part is that ushijima’s genuinely trying to listen to his friend but bro just doesn’t get it 💀
- you saw this prank on TikTok that seemed funny, you two always kinda went back and forth playing little jokes on each other
- last time he got you by putting a huge ass fake spider on the ceiling of your room so when you walked in he pulled a string and it jumped out and hit your face
- you did not talk to bro for days
- I wouldn’t either man 😭
- so now it was time to get him back
- he was getting ready to leave for a late practice, and he bounded over to you from behind your work chair as you were reading the shonen jump he had lent you
- “Ok I’m goin to practice I’ll see ya later y/n—“ -tendou
- “Ok bye tendou, have a good practice. Don’t piss off Semi too much—“ -you
- “Oh come on I don’t piss him off! Semi is my bestie he can confirm!”
- “I honestly don’t think you could pay semi an amount that would make him call you his ‘bestie’”
- “I can work miracles! Ok— bye y/n I love youuuuu—“
- “Bye tendou, good luck with working that miracle.“
- He paused, his lanky arms dropping down to his sides as he thought for a second
- did you not say it back or was he just going deaf?
- he did that thing yk where you like tilt your head to the side in confusion— and his hair like drooped down a bit 😭
- “…I love you—“
- “I know tendou, have a good practice!”
- he’s scared, genuinely terrified
- he’s running through his mind trying to think of why you didn’t say it back— did you think he was annoying?? Was he being too loud? Did you actually just not say it because you didn’t love him anymore?
- he wanted to ask what was wrong but he thought maybe he was being annoying so he just left to give you space 😭
- you felt awful
- he looked so confused and hurt before he left
- tendou went to ushijima for advice and to just talk about it— he’s probably the worst person to talk to about this stuff bc bro literally thinks the earth is flat but whatever
- “…..That’s rough buddy.” -ushijima whilst awkwardly patting tendou’s shoulder
- “…Was that an avatar reference?” -tendou
- “Hm? What is an ‘avatar’?”
- “Nevermind. Thanks for trying.”
- you felt so bad— so when he was just in his room doing homework, you came in and immediately gave him a hug, apologizing and saying I love you to him over and over
- he was confused but happy to hear you say it back— he was SWEATIN bro 😭
- “I thought I was being annoying—“
- “Oh no tendou it was just a prank—“
- “….Wait was this payback for the spider?”
- “…..Yeah.”
- “…Ok I kinda deserved that then.”
- “Love you tendou, I promise you’re not annoying.”
- “Love you too y/n :)”
……
- “….Don’t you dare even think about pranking me with a spider again.”
- “I won’t make any promises that I can’t keep 😄”
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- if there’s one thing he always remembers to do it’s to say ‘I love you’ before he leaves or before you go to sleep
- he doesn’t talk much but he never fails to say it to you
- even if he pretty much doesn’t talk the whole day, his few words will be those practiced words that have now been engrained into his mind
- you saw a prank video on instagram and thought it would be interesting to try it on ushijima, you honestly weren’t sure how he’d react
- he was getting ready to leave for practice, coming up from behind you as you worked on some assignments, giving you a quick one armed hug since his other arm was full carrying his stuff
- “I’ll be back tonight, goodbye y/n, I love you.” -ushijima
- “Ok, have a good practice.” -you
- he waited a minute, since usually he heard you say it back— but no you went right back to doing your work
- he assumed that maybe you were very absorbed and busy with your assignments and studies, which he understood and wanted to respect your work time
- so he left without another word, not wanting to disturb you
- but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care about the fact that you didn’t say it back to him
- he was so accustomed to you saying those three words back to him or to him directly, maybe he’d taken it for granted? Because now without hearing them, he felt— wrong
- he wasn’t greatly disturbed, but he wasn’t normal either
- he thought about it a couple times during breaks in practice, wondering if he did something to make you distant or frustrated with him
- after practice was over, he came back, seeing you still doing your work like when he left, and he tried to be as quiet as possible to not bother you in case that was the reason behind why you didn’t say it back
- dude he was trying so hard to figure out what to do 😭
- he called tendou because he thought either tendou was the expert on these things or semi, and semi did NOT pick up 💀 (idk why but I feel like semi never answers his phone, not even on purpose, but like his ringer doesn’t work or some shit and he’s sitting there wondering why no one texts him or calls him)
- “Uhhhh…. Good luck Wakatoshi-kun!” -tendou
- “Is the situation that bleak?? I require your best wishes..? Tendou is this serious?” (Poor guy is sweating now 💀)
- “Well it’s either ‘damn well— good luck’ or it’s a prank! I’ve seen people do a prank on their partners where they don’t say ‘I love you’ back.” (tendou’s chronically online there isn’t a meme or prank trend bro hasn’t seen)
- “…..I see. How do I know which one it is?”
- “…..Good luck with that!”
- some help you are tendou 💀
- ushijima is not good at being subtle, so he just blatantly asked you— after you were going to take a break from your work
- “Y/n, did I do something to make you distant? Or was this a prank? Tendou told me about a certain trending prank partners do to their significant others, and—“ (he was talking the most you’ve ever heard him speak because bro was nervous actually despite looking normal)
- “I’m sorry Ushijima it was a prank yeah— I love you too ok?”
- he felt his shoulders relax when he finally heard you say it with that familiar smile that melted his heart
- ever since that prank you did— he’s said it more often
- he has a routine now, instead of just when he leaves or when he goes to sleep, he texts you in the morning, or says it to you if you’re there with him
- he says it whenever you say you text him or say over the phone you have to go do something
- he says it when you get back or when he gets back
- he says it a lot let’s just put it that way :)
- also semi was so betrayed that ushijima asked tendou for advice and not him later on 🥲
- “You asked TENDOU first?! Of all people?! You would’ve had better luck with goshiki!” -semi
- “Huh what?! I heard my name! Did someone call me?!” -goshiki appearing out of nowhere anytime someone says anything starting with “go”
- “BRO HOW DID YOU MATERIALIZE?!”
- “BAHAHAHAHAHAHDHDHEUHDUD—“ -tendou having an asthma attack from laughing
- “Apologies Semi, you did not pick up your phone. And from what I recall, you’ve never been in a relationship before, correct?” -ushijima
- bye bye semi’s self esteem 💀 tendou was about to cry and turn blue from laughing so hard, slapping his knee, cackling, shaking semi by his shoulders and giggling like a little shit
- ushijima is BRUTAL bro 🥲
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a/n - semi got violated, a moment of silence for him 😔🙏
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shuawonie · 11 months ago
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(in)visible.
pairing | yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
genre | fluff, angst, college au, hidden relationship au, non-idol au, comfort
word count | 7k
warnings | use of pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart), kissing, slight harrasment, mention of abusive behavior, alcohol consumption, jealousy, swearing, soft but also sometimes possesive jeonghan 😩 big angst bro-, THE SAINT LAURENT JEONGHAN???? (on my knees fr)
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summary: he decided to give you time, to let you feel comfortable with him and everything else. but you don’t want and need it anymore. you want to be visible. you want the two of you to be visible to the others. that you’re his and he’s yours.
a/n: oh my god.. my writer's block really hit me hard like a truck 😭 i’m so sorry for not posting anything for past few months.. </3 however ! here’s the small gift for you guys <3 hope u enjoy !
(i have already planned new jeonghan fanfiction and i’m SO proud of myself, watch me get the writer’s block again and post it after months again LMAOO)
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i got you, you got me,
when it's us, babe,
you make me feel complete.
you're all i need.
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Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?
That was the question which was asked probably the most past days on your campus.
You could hear it everywhere. People were gossiping about in the hallways, in the bathroom, in the cafteria and even during the lectures, trying to get to the truth.
Is he single or not?
This whole situation began when someone from the campus took a photo of him, hanging out with a girl and holding her hand with a big smile on his lips. The face of the mysterious girl wasn’t shown in the picture, which is why they were wondering who it might be and if she’s his girlfriend.
Jeonghan was a 3rd year student and as far as everyone had known, he was staying single for a long time already. But now, nothing was sure.
People had mixed opinions on it. Some were happy for him that he found somebody to love, some were just really confused while not wanting to believe it's true, and the last group was really negative about it (thinking they even had a chance with Jeonghan, pfft).
However, it was obvious that everyone wanted to know the truth.
Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?
However, only two people knew the answer to it.
Yoon Jeonghan himself, and you.
Jeonghan came out from the lecture class with his black messenger bag overhanged across his chest while being deeply immersed in his phone, when Seungkwan, campus’ sweet boy, joined him by his side.
“Hello Jeonghan!” he started enthusiastically, “How’s your day? Are you okay?” the boy blinked a few times and sent him a cute smile, while taking a sip of his beloved iced americano.
Jeonghan frowned, looking at him quite suspiciously.
“Hi,” he mumbled, letting out a sheepish chuckle, “Yea, I’m fine. Just finished my schedule, and I’m a bit tired. And you?” Jeonghan asked, continuing the conversation as the two of them slowly walked towards the entrance of the campus.
“Uhh.. I still have one lecture left, so I need to stay.” Seungkwan pouted, making the other boy smile, “Are you meeting someone? Or going home by yourself?” the sunshine boy asked, making Jeonghan stop mid-step, crossing his arms over his chest.
He looked at the younger boy with an amused expression as he snickered, “Seungkwanie, come on. Don’t tell me you’re also into this whole gossip trend on our campus.”
“Oh, hyung! But is that true? Are you seriously in a relationship?” Seungkwan questioned, tilting his head to the side, while wishing to get the answer everyone wanted to know. “Please! I won’t tell anyone.” he pouted.
Jeonghan let out a quiet snort, while looking to the side as he was kind of getting tired after hearing another person ask him that question.
Why was everyone suddenly so curious about it?
“I’m sorry Kwannie, but I won't tell you. Nice try though.” Jeonghan muttered, fixing his bag on his side, “See you tomorrow.”
Then, he turned around and walked out, leaving the younger boy and all of the gossip behind him in that building.
December's cold, evening breeze hit Jeonghan’s face, finally letting him breathe out in relief. The boy placed the hood over his head, tugging his hands into the pockets of his big hoodie.
He did it. He survived another day without getting caught.
Gosh.. it was so hard for him not to react every time he passed next to you in the hallways. To not stare at your beautiful face for too long, to not send you a soft smile, to not yield his food to you at the cafeteria or just hold your hand. He wanted to do it so badly, and many times he caught himself almost doing it.
But at the same time, Jeonghan was aware that even the smallest thing that could have been taken as ‘more than close friends’, might have caused suspicions from your or his friends. Which you two wanted to avoid at all cost. At least for now.
Your relationship had to stay invisible to people around you.
Even though the boy didn’t like that idea at first, after some time you two agreed that for now you won’t show your relationship in public, especially in college.
Jeonghan decided to give you time to get comfortable as it was your first relationship after being in a really harmful and traumatic one in the senior class at highschool. Your ex was a very cute and nice guy at the beggining who later turned into being really abusive towards you, especially verbally. And when you revealed at the beggining, that you two are dating, a lot of people abandoned you, leaving you behind with the problem that after a while you were forced to deal with all alone.
That’s mostly why you weren’t sure if you wanted to reveal your new relationship. And it’s not that you didn’t trust Jeonghan, because you did. You trusted him as no one else. But because of your past, you were not certain if you could go through that all over again.
Jeonghan couldn’t wait to finally see you, after this long and tiring day. He really wanted to hug you close and tell you how good you looked today. Because he missed you. Your voice, your smile, your smell, your warmth and your touch. He missed every single thing about you, and he hasn't interacted with you for only around 6 hours (not counting all of the texts that the two of you shared today).
Rushing towards your apartment with a bag of takeout food that he bought on the way, Jeonghan was already thinking what you two could do tonight. But the truth was that even if you two laid in your bed, cuddling, he was okay with it. Because what mattered to him was spending his time with you. Not the activity you did.
Right after only one ring to the door, you opened it with a tired smile visible on your face. You were already dressed in your kuromi pyjamas (to which Jeonghan had a matching, ‘my melody’ one), wearing fluffy socks.
Your boyfriend giggled, excited about seeing you and finally having you for himself only.
“Hi.” he said gently, with a bright smile shining on his face.
“Hi.” you replied softly, while connecting your hand with his, taking him into your apartment, and closing your door right behind him.
“I brought food!~" the boy cheered, taking his shoes off by his heels. You couldn’t help but melt, and a bright smile appeared on your lips.
The boy swung the bag in the air with a big smile, and you approached him, slowly kissing his cheek while thanking him sincerely. Then, he quickly placed the bag on the floor and wrapped his hands around your waist, hugging you tightly to his body.
Jeonghan laid his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m tired.” he murmured, closing his eyes while sighing, “I need to recharge.”
A smile creeped onto your lips as you slowly started to play with Jeonghan’s hair, him still being close to you.
“Don’t worry, baby. We have time.” you smiled, caressing his head. You let him ‘recharge’ as the boy didn’t move away from you for even a second.
“You’re doing a great job, Hannie.” finally, you broke the silence, feeling how he snuggled closer into the crook of your neck. The scent of your body has always had a calming effect on Jeonghan, and it wasn’t different now.
“I can’t believe that acting like a stranger with my girlfriend might be that tiring.” he murmured into your skin, immediately catching you off guard.
Your face saddened in the split of the second, with the feeling of guilt starting to take over you.
“Hannie-”
“No, it’s okay.” the boy looked up at you, with his shining, full of understanding eyes, “We both agreed on it after all. And I want you to feel comfortable when you’re with me. So I won’t pressure you into doing things you’re not okay with.” he added, and gently cupped your face with his hands, admiring your features.
“I’m sorry..” you mumbled, feeling the lump in your throat, “I’m sorry that because of me you have to pretend something you don’t want to, but.. please, believe me that I’m really.. really trying to somehow overcome this-”
Jeonghan quickly placed his lips on top of yours, connecting you in a gentle kiss, while stopping you from speaking more. At first your whole body stiffened, not expecting this. But the feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips on top of yours started to overwhelm you, making you crave for more of him.
However, before you could even react and reciprocate his sweet action, Jeonghan already moved away from you, sending you a reassuring smile.
“Let’s eat, darling. I’m sure you’re hungry.” the boy suggested, and took the bag from the floor, making his way to your kitchen.
“And then I need to put my baby to sleep.” Jeonghan giggled, to which you quickly responded with a scoff, “I’m not a baby anymore.” you muttered, but the smirk was still present on your lips.
You quickly followed right after him, sitting by the kitchen island as you silently watched him take out the containers with food.
But the slight feeling of guilt hasn’t left you at all, making you stay up at night, tossing around in the bed, overthinking everything, while being tightly hugged from the back by Jeonghan.
Should you finally become visible to people?
Or should you let things stay as they’re now?
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“So..” Millie — your best friend, started and you looked at her suspiciously.
The two of you were coming back from the nearest coffee shop after buying a coffee to go for yourselves. This small break was good for you as you still had this one lecture to survive.
“So?”
“I met a guy.” she said while covering her face as she already knew how you’re going to react.
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes whilw tilting your head to the side. “Millie, I swear to god..”
“But listen!” she interrupted, “He’s actually really nice and he cares for the others a lot! He’s the greatest gentleman I know! And you won’t believe me, but he’s actually close friends with Yoon Jeonghan.” after hearing that name, your eyes immediately widened.
You choked on your drink, immediately starting to cough, “Ooh..” you started trying to stabilize your voice, “What’s his name?” you asked, quickly realizing that you sounded too interested about that.
Even though you remembered a few of Jeonghan’s friends as he was sometimes going out or just talking about them with you, you were really curious which one stole Millie’s heart.
She grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly, “Hong Joshua! Can you believe he’s also half american half korean? Just like me!” the girl exclaimed while grinning.
“Yeah, I’m happy for you-” you mumbled while trying to get off her hand, that was slowly starting to make your palm feel numb.
“I think we can even go and meet him now! Joshie said he’ll wait for me by the entrance.” Millie giggled just at the thought of the boy, and already started walking faster, leaving you behind.
You looked at her with some pity written on your face as you shook your head and followed her steps.
A few minutes later, the two of you were already standing by the entrance, waiting for Joshua to join you. On the way, Millie already told you that you’ll have this lecture together.
“He texted me he’ll be here any second!” Millie cheered, showing you the text that he sent her a few seconds ago. And as Joshua said, several seconds later, you two noticed him going towards you. However, he wasn’t alone.
Yoon Jeonghan, who was smiling brightly while listening to Joshua, accompanied him. It made your breath immediately hitch in your lungs.
Oh shit. You haven’t thought about the fact that he might actually come right now with Joshua.
“Hi Joshie!” Millie shouted enthusiastically, waving to the boy to get his attention. As soon as Joshua noticed Millie, his face brightened up as his eyes turned into two small crescents and a cute smile adorned his lips.
But you had your eyes stuck on him. And so did he, with a slight smirk that creeped onto his lips.
“Hi y/n! Millie talked a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Joshua greeted you, sending you one of his charming smiles to which you smiled back.
“This is my friend, Jeonghan.” he added, making you move your gaze at the mentioned boy, only to find him already staring at you.
There was a short silence before you decided to make the move.
“Hi.” you finally uttered, smiling gently.
“Hi.” Jeonghan replied, the same way as he had always greeted you.
It was your small tradition that only you two understood. Each of the smallest ‘hi’ you said, also meant ‘i missed you’ or ‘i love you’ at the same time.
“Oh, right, I almost forgot to tell you!” Millie said suddenly, making you twitch.
“Today, together with some other people from campus, we’re going to a barbeque restaurant! If you want to, you can join us. I think it’s going to be more fun and less uncomfortable if you’ll be there.” the girl remarked, and sent you a pleading look.
You looked at Jeonghan, searching for an answer on his face and he silently nodded, “Yeah, I can join you guys. And y/n too.” the boy answered, and shifted his eyes back to you.
“Perfect!” the girl cheered while hugging Joshua’s arm, “Then we see each other tonight at 6PM! I’ll send you the localisation later. But now let’s get going, the lecture is about to start!” she added, and then Millie pulled Joshua to the lecture hall, leaving you two behind.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked, worried by the absent look in your eyes.
You smiled briefly, “Yeah.. I’m just a bit tired. I just need to survive this one last hour. But now let’s go, we don’t want them to get suspicious, do we?” sending a small wink to Jeonghan, you quickly followed your best friend’s steps to the hall, with Jeonghan going right behind you, not being able to hide the smirk on his lips.
When you sat down in the hall room, several students were already there. Millie sat next to Joshua, and Jeonghan decided that you'll sit in the row behind them.
As soon as the lecture started, you placed your arms on the desk and laid down. The feeling of tiredness after not getting enough sleep tonight was taking over you, making it really hard for you to survive this day.
However, it didn’t go unnoticed by Jeonghan that you looked exhausted. Gently, he removed your hair that got in the way, and stroked your back.
He leaned closer and whispered, “How about you rest a bit, hm? I’ll take the needed notes for us, so you don’t have to worry.”
You smiled gently, melting inside from the softness and care that the boy treated you with. Nodding softly, you whispered a small ‘thank you’ to Jeonghan.
Opening your eyes one last time, you saw Jeonghan’s focused face. He was playing with the pen in his hand as he always had to have something in his hand.
As you shifted your gaze to Millie, you immediately noticed that compared to your boyfriend, the girl wasn’t paying attention to the lecture at all. She probably wasn’t even planning on doing it, because Millie was busy studying the boy next to her. Smiling weakly at the mere sight, you closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.
Little did you know, Jeonghan also decided to follow Millie’s steps after some time.
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“Hi angel, are you ready?”
Jeonghan peeked into your room as you were finishing getting ready for the night out. You looked up at him in the mirror, and the boy smoothly came closer to you with a smirk playing on his lips. He bent down to be on your eye level, and looked at you from the back by the mirror. The scent of his freshly applied perfume and shower gel hit your nose, showing that he just finished getting ready.
You two came back from the college around two hours ago. At the end of the lecture, the boy patted your arm gently, whispering your name to wake you up. He caught himself smiling at the sight of your sleeping figure, but quickly scolded himself for it, remembering that he has to take notes and act completely unaffected by you.
Not going to lie, it quickly became a big challenge for him.
The boy was wearing a black silk shirt with a deep neckline, paired with black loose pants. His hair was freshly styled, with his bangs resting right over his eyes. He looked incredibly attractive at that moment, making you rethink about how it is even possible that a man and an angel like him is actually your boyfriend.
You, on the other hand, did natural make-up, and wore a black dress that hugged your body perfectly, reaching around your calves area, with a deep cut that reached right above your knee. Your hair was left loose, and with a delicate gold necklace that Jeonghan gifted you on your birthday, your whole look was finished.
It was indeed intentional to choose an outfit that would match Jeonghan’s, and vice versa (but not too obvious). However, the more you thought about it, the more you were starting to doubt if you should go with that dress. Of course you wanted to look elegant and step out of your comfort zone a bit, but you quickly started to think if it was really worth it.
And just as if your boyfriend heard your thoughts, he whispered into your ear, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Jeonghan left a sweet peck on your cheek, “You don’t have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I promise I’ll be there to protect you everytime, at any cost.” he added, solving all of the problems that you could have been thinking at that moment.
The boy moved away a bit, finally allowing you to let out the breath that you didn’t even realize you’ve been holding the whole time. The scent of him was always really strong and just being by his side, you thought that you might go insane by any second.
Soon later, the two of you finally left your apartment, and sat comfortably in Jeonghan’s car that he parked in front of your house. Your way to the restaurant went actually really comfortably, and even when you didn’t say much, Jeonghan tightly held his hand intertwined with yours, whispering from time to time compliments to you.
When you entered the restaurant, Millie, Joshua and some other people that you didn’t really know were already sitting by the table. As soon as your best friend noticed you, she yelled your name and waved to you. The two of you joined the group, and you sat down next to Millie and a guy that you didn’t know. Jeonghan sat on the other side of the table, next to Joshua, and a girl who was really known in your college, Siyeon.
“I’m glad you guys actually made it!” Joshua cheered, and you smiled at him.
“Why did you two come together?” Siyeon asked, “Are you two dating or something?” she added, gaining everyone’s attention as everyone heard about the gossip.
She always knew how to get people to look at her. Siyeon was not only called the goddess of the campus, but also she made it with her attitude. And even now, she successfully gained everyone’s gaze by looking at her and at you two, while smirking lazily.
Her question made you immediately start to panic inside, but you were trying to not show it that much on the outside. Not knowing how to respond, you looked at Jeonghan, frightened. The boy immediately read from your facial expression what’s happening, and he decided to take action.
The boy laughed out loud, “Oh come on, guys! Does really everything have to be about dating? I just gave y/n a ride because it’s dark already, and she lives near me.”
Smooth.
Jeonghan looked at you, and sent you an apologetic look, “We’re just friends. We’re not in a relationship, guys.” he added, making the others start joking and laughing because of this situation.
Oh.
Even though you knew that the boy did it to protect you, and your relationship, you still felt that stinging pain in your heart.
But actually, what did you expect? Jeonghan did what he had to do to keep your relationship a secret. Something that you two agreed to do, especially because of you.
So why did you feel that way? Maybe.. just maybe, you deeply hoped that he would admit it, and say that you’re his girlfriend.
“Hey, you okay?” you heard Millie’s whisper by your ear, bringing you back from your thoughts.
You nodded, chuckling from embarrassment, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” she stroked your arm gently while sending you a reassuring smile, and you sent her a small smile, reaching for your glass of water to take a sip.
When all of you ordered, and the food together with alcohol was finally brought, your group started to eat, while telling stories, joking around, and slowly getting more drunk.
You weren’t really a fan of drinking as you had a light head, so you were always the responsible one for Millie as she always wanted to drink. But even now, when she had Joshua by her side, you still decided not to drink.
Jeonghan always reminded and assured you, that you shouldn’t worry about not drinking anymore. He insisted, that if you’d want to have some fun with friends then you shouldn’t stop yourself, because he’ll be there to protect you and take you home afterwards. But even when you knew he truly meant it, you still decided to stick by your glass of water.
Millie was already clinging to Joshua, already getting tipsy from the drinks she drank. People were laughing loudly at something and you were sitting silently, listening while finishing your portion of tteokbokki that you decided to have. A few minutes later, Jeonghan excused himself by the need to go to the toilet.
As soon as he disappeared by the corner, the boy next to you named Changmin, who also drank a few bottles of soju after the challenges the boys from your college made, turned around and suddenly shouted, “Oh y/n!” what made you immediately look at him, not knowing what was happening.
Then, the boy leaned closer to you, making you widen your eyes and he clumsily sweeped some of the sauce with his thumb, that was in the corner of your lips.
Unfortunately, while being already tipsy from the alcohol, he made even a bigger mess on your face as he not only smeared the sauce to your chin but also some of your lipstick.
“Oops!” he laughed goofily, and some of the boys that were there started to laugh with him.
You just hoped that someone would somehow help you. But Millie was already passed out on the chair, with Joshua being concerned about her. Other girls, including Siyeon, were busy gossiping and drinking more soju. So you were left alone with this situation.
Quickly, you reached for the napkin that was near your bowl, and turned slightly to the side, gently removing the sauce and leftovers from your lipstick. You felt embarrassed because of what happened, just as if that boy fully meant to do it.
But it wasn’t funny to you at all.
Changmin looked at you one more time before smacking your thigh with his palm and squeezing it slightly. You widened your eyes as you were flabbergasted what just happened. And in the split of the second, you pushed his hand away.
“What the fuck are you doing?” you asked angrily, as you immediately felt uncomfortable but also pissed by the boy’s sudden action.
“Aww, poor baby is not in the mood,” he chuckled and reached for his chopsticks to take another piece of the tteokbokki from your plate and put it in front of your mouth.
“We need to feed the baby, say aaaaah~”
You hit his hand away once again, and the boys around started to laugh even more, making you feel ashamed. The tears from helpless frustration started to sting your eyes, but you strongly resisted to open your mouth and eat the tteokbokki that Changmin put in front of you once again.
“Come on, y/n! Say a-”
“I’m sure y/n is not hungry anymore.”
You heard a voice from behind you, and the person quickly pushed Changmin’s arm away. You looked up, seeing Jeonghan’s serious face behind you. He took a quick glance at you, immediately noticing the tears that swelled in your eyes.
Your boyfriend grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, the chair squeaking by the sudden drag.
“Oh come one, dude!” one of the boys shouted, but he was totally ignored by Jeonghan.
He quickly hid your fragile body behind his silhouette, looking into your eyes which glistened with tears.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks with his hands, “Talk to me, angel. Did he hurt you?” he whispered gently, looking at you intensively.
You didn’t respond to him, tears glistening in your eyes.
The boy cursed under his breath, quickly focusing on you once again, “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry angel that I left you here alone..” he whispered, gently kissing your forehead, “I’ll take you home now.”
“Jeonghan, dude! Your friend is so damn pretty,” Changmin yelled, lazily getting up from the chair, stumbling over his own legs, “Can I have her number? You know that I like girls like her, especially in bed.”
You could see how Jeonghan’s face immediately darkened, and he let out a loud scoff after hearing the boy’s question. He took a deep breath and grasped your hand.
“Okay, then I’ll text you later!” Changmin shouted.
Not even glancing back anymore you two left the restaurant, immediately getting into Jeonghan’s car.
This time, the silence was really uncomfortable, compared to the time you drove here. The atmosphere between you not knowing why thickened.
During the whole way home, Jeonghan was silent. He focused on the road, still holding your hand, and only taking small glances at you from time to time. There were a few times when you wanted to say something, but as your mouth opened, nothing came out. You thought as if you’re going to explode from the nervousness you felt at that moment.
When you finally reached your apartment, you walked into it silently, taking off your coats and shoes.
You knew that the boy was trying to give you some time and space, but as you’ve already known Jeonghan well, you knew that something was bothering him as well.
The boy muttered something about getting a glass of water for himself, and you, feeling guilty about everything that had happened, decided to follow him to the kitchen like a puppy.
He took a glass for himself and also for you, and poured some water for you to drink before drinking from his glass. But you had other plans than drinking that stupid water.
You knew it was finally the time to destroy the wall between the two of you.
“Jeonghan-” you said, but in the blink of an eye his glass hit the hard surface of your kitchen island and he scooped you up, placing you on the countertop.
Jeonghan’s arms rested by the two of your sides, securing you, as he stood between your legs. He was silent, with his head lowered.
Your heart was beating like crazy and your breathing sped up. You had no idea what you should do in this situation.
“It’s so.. fucking frustrating.” the boy hissed, still not looking at you. You decided to give him time and you waited for him patiently.
Finally, after a while the boy raised his head, looking straight into your eyes. As he was slightly bent down, his eyes were on the same level as your, dangerously close to your face.
“It’s so fucking frustrating, that people can’t see that we are together. That you can’t call me yours, and I can’t call you mine. That I have to tell everyone that we’re just friends. That we can’t have any, even the smallest interactions..” he stopped for a second, being completely drowned in your eyes.
“Please.. y/n.” Jeonghan sighed painfully, “Can’t you see how hard I’m trying? Just give.. us a chance. I will show you that we can be together in the public, and that we can survive by being by each other’s side. Because I love you, y/n.”
And for the first time in your life, you saw Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears, making it really hard for you to also not tear up.
“A-and..” he stuttered, as his voice slowly started to break.
“Recently I’m not even sure anymore if you still love me the same way as I do.”
Ouch.
Just one sentence. Small like a needle, but painful like a knife.
You immediately cupped Jeonghan’s face, wiping his tears away with your thumb. The boy had stuck his eyes still to yours, desperately looking for an answer.
“I’m sorry, I’m so so so.. sorry, that I made you feel that way..” you uttered, “I was blind, mainly following my feelings and needs, while not focusing enough on yours, which you also had.” you stopped for a second, taking a big breath to not let your voice break.
“You’ve always been so patient with me, always honest and so soft with the way you treated me.. You protected me, and was with me when I needed you the most. And I..” your voice broke, and you let out a shaky sigh.
“I gave you nothing back but rules. I feel so stupid because of that..” your eyes shone with the tears that you couldn’t hold in anymore. Jeonghan was listening to you silently, with his eyes still watery, but now you could find hope in it.
“I’m so sorry, Hannie..” you whispered as you brought the boy closer, crossing your hands over his shoulders. He snuggled into the crook of your neck, while holding your waist tightly, and inhaling your scent.
You stayed in this position for a few good minutes, before you finally pulled away, resting your foreheads over yourselves. You had your eyes stuck on Jeonghan’s shining ones, and he had on yours. And at that point, when you were staring at your boyfriend, you'd made up your mind.
You were ready.
“Hannie..” you uttered.
The boy sent you a soft smile, “Yes, angel?” he murmured.
“I want us to be visible. I don’t want us to hide anymore.” you decided, immediately noticing how much you caught Jeonghan off guard by your sudden statement.
On the spur of the moment and Jeonghan’s confusion, you leaned down and placed your lips on top of his, connecting you in a soft kiss.
At first, Jeonghan didn’t react to your action. But then he melted into the kiss, turning it into a passionate and hungry kiss. He quickly cupped your cheeks with one of his hands, holding your face gently while not allowing you to pull away with his other hand that rested on your waist.
You ran your hands through his soft, dark hair. The boy lifted your body from the kitchen island, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as the boy made his way to your bedroom.
Yeah.
You were sure that you wanted to make you two visible.
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The sound of the messages blowing up your phone has been ringing for the past 15 minutes, echoing in your room. Irritated by another incoming call, you finally woke up, and it turned out that it was Millie, the same as all of the messages.
You answered the call and put it on the speaker, placing your phone next to your pillow as you layed back on the bed.
“Millie.. I swear to god, if it’s something unimportant and you woke me up on the day when the lectures start later-”
“Wait y/n! Have you checked my messages?” Millie’s loud voice made you squeeze your eyes from the loudness, as you were still half asleep.
A sigh left your mouth, “Girl be for real. You just woke me up, how could I check your messages?” you muttered while rubbing your eyes.
“Then check it! I think you need to see it!” Millie shouted, and lazily, you took your phone, unlocking it and going straight to messages.
Millie sent you a screenshot with an Instagram post, uploaded by Siyeon. She took a selfie with Jeonghan, who sat next to her (probably not even knowing she was taking photos).
You immediately noticed that this photo was taken at the meeting that you attended a few days ago. Siyeon was wearing the same, short burgundy dress she wore that day, and Jeonghan had the same black shirt on.
But the most disturbing thing was the description she wrote under the post.
Liked by shushu_a and 16 134 others
SolLaSiyeon: finally breaking the radio silence 😘
“Can you believe that Lim Siyeon is in a relationship with Yoon Jeonghan?!” Millie squealed on the other side, and she started talking about something, but her voice began to gradually mute. You didn’t respond, being completely stunned by what you just saw.
“Wait. How do you know they’re together?” you asked, wanting to deny Millie’s assumption, “She didn’t say anything about it.”
“Oh y/n.. the title holds the whole meaning!” your best friend was quick to answer you, “She breaks the radio silence while posting a photo with Yoon Jeonghan. And in the description she writes ‘breaking the radio silence’ which refers to the gossip about Jeonghan’s girlfriend!”
Now it actually made sense, what made you feel even more terrified.
That one scene kept playing in your mind.
“Why did you two come together? Are you two dating or something?”
The girl was planning it from the beginning, making sure that her plan would work out.
Your best friend was still talking about something, but you didn’t really have the time to listen about how Joshua did this and that, so unfortunately you had to cut her off, “Sorry, Millie, but I really have to go. I’ll see you at the lectures later.” and you hung up, quickly getting up from the bed to get ready.
You couldn’t just leave it like that, you had to do something.
But what exactly..?
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Your heart was racing and you felt like throwing up. You were waiting by one of the lecture halls, pacing back and forth while trying to calm yourself down. From what you’ve heard from some people on the campus, Siyeon was supposed to finish her lecture now, making it easier for you to catch her and talk with her.
And just as you were coming by the door again, it opened widely and people started to flood out of the room. You waited, standing on the side by the wall, while nervously biting your lower lip. You kept observing when the girl would come out from the lecture hall.
Finally, after some seconds you noticed the familiar face, immediately feeling how your insides start to roll from the stress. Siyeon was talking with one of her friends, not even sparing one glance at you, being deeply immersed in her conversation.
You took one deep breath before following them, and finally calling Siyeon’s name. The girl stopped her movements and turned around to face you, immediately putting the fake ‘shit i have to look friendly’ smile on her face.
“Hi y/n, what’s up?” she asked, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could. You gulped, feeling how hot your whole body started to feel.
“Hi,” you mumbled, “Could I ask you a favor?” the girl looked at you questioningly.
“Could you delete the post with Jeonghan that you recently posted?”
Siyeon’s eyes grew bigger as her smile turned into a grimace. “Huh why? Is something wrong with that, sweetie?”
“I don’t want you to create confusion and another round of gossip about my boyfriend.”
There you go. You finally said that.
However, the girl pressed her lips tightly, and looked at her friend, bursting out laughing. The wave of coldness ran through your body. That wasn’t something you expected.
“Okay, o-okay,” Siyeon stuttered, trying to calm down from laughing, “You got us. That was a nice one, y/n. Now if you excuse us-”
“I’m not finished.”
Suddenly, your hand gripped onto her wrist, stopping her mid-step from walking away. Siyeon glanced at your hand that was tightened around her forearm. She rolled her eyes, letting out a scoff as she turned around to face you.
Then you finally noticed how people started to circle you, observing what’s happening, some even recording. Your mouth immediately felt dry but you knew you couldn’t give up now.
“I don’t want you to post any more photos that include my boyfriend, while trying to make an impression as if he is your boyfriend. Yes! We might have been secret about our relationship, but it’s not as if we didn’t have the right to. It’s actually none of anyone’s business who Jeonghan is dating, because it shouldn’t be anyone’s main concern. But, when you post a photo with a description that says ‘breaking the radio silence’ as if you’re proposing to everyone, that you two are dating, then nothing else is left for me than to finally reveal the main secret, that everyone has been dying to find out the truth.” you smirked, while letting out a quiet snark.
“Yoon Jeonghan is dating me. I am his girlfriend, and Jeonghan is mine.”
Everyone and everything around you fell silent. The only thing you could hear at that moment was your rapidly beating heart, and your own breathing.
After some seconds, you finally looked at Siyeon, only to find she wasn’t looking at you. The girl had her eyes set on something behind your figure. You frowned, and slowly turned around.
At that moment, you felt as if your heart dropped. Your whole body froze, the feeling of embarrassment and shame striking you right at that specific moment.
Because no one else than Yoon Jeonghan himself was standing a few meters from you, in front of the whole crowd. He had his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans, head tilted a little to the side while a proud smirk was stuck to his lips.
When Siyeon finally came out of her daze, she hit your stiff figure with her shoulder as she ran up to Jeonghan, pouting. “Jeonghanie! Did you hear what that crazy chick was saying? Isn’t she stupid? How could she even say such insane things! You’re not her boyfrie-”
“Oh, but I am.” he cut her off, with that lazy smirk he always loved to wear.
If your speech made an impact on people who stood around you, Jeonghan’s approval surely caught the whole crowd off guard. Everyone started to whisper, gossip and murmur about something.
“W-what?” Siyeon’s lips started to tremble, “But oppa..” she whined, trying to argue with him, but Jeonghan simply ignored her.
He slowly approached your shaking figure, sending you a warm grin. Gently, he took your hand and connected it with his, intertwining your fingers. The boy left a butterfly kiss on your knuckles, immediately getting sounds of adorations and approval from around.
Your eyes met his, and the boy whispered, “Trust me.”
Jeonghan slowly walked out of the crowd, pulling you out from that corridor. The two of you left the building silently, and finally when you were in the campus’ park, you had to break the silence.
“Hannie..” you removed your hand from his, gaining a questioning look from your boyfriend, “Listen, I’m sorry.. I know I should have stopped myself from doing it, from getting jealous, from confronting Siyeon, and from letting out the secret, but believe me I didn’t do it on purpose.. I-I.. ah..” you stuttered, being lost in your words, “I couldn’t just leave it like that when everyone started to gossip about you being in a relationship with her and-”
“y/n, stop.” Jeonghan’s firm voice ran through your whole body, shutting you up right away.
The boy chuckled, gently cupping your cheeks with his palms, and looking deeply into your eyes with his shining ones.
“Did you really think I would get mad at you for any of these? Angel.. why would I even do that..? You can’t imagine how happy I felt when you finally gave us a green light. But still, I wanted you specifically to tell us about us and our relationship.” he caressed your cheeks with his knuckles, smiling at your pouting face.
“And that moment when you claimed that you’re my girlfriend and I’m only yours? Damn, sweetheart, that was so hot-”
“Yoon Jeonghan!” he immediately got rewarded with a slap on his shoulder as the boy bursted out laughing at your shyness.
“Okay, I’m sorry!” he giggled, and you finally broke the grimace, sending him a soft smile.
“But seriously, you can’t even believe how happy you just have made me right there.” Jeonghan added, and left a sweet kiss on your forehead before conecting your hands once again.
“Hot chocolate?” he asked charmingly.
“Hot chocolate.” you nodded.
Walking down the main sidewalk of your campus, many people looked at you, and specifically at your intertwined hands. With your cheeks burning red, you took your phone out of your pocket, only to find lots of calls and messages from people from the campus. And one of them was Millie.
Millie:
YOU.
bitch
how dare you not tell me anything!!!! >:(
you have LOTS to tell me
and i won’t let you go
oh nononononooooo
so better prepare yourself
cuz i need to know
every.
single.
detail.
EVERYTHINGGGGGG
As you think of it now, while laying peacefully in your bed and having Jeonghan snuggled into the crook of your neck, even if you liked the way you two functioned while being ‘invisible’, you had to agree.
Being visible with Jeonghan was much better.
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reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡
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jistagrams · 10 months ago
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who lasted the longest during nnn (no nut november) riize edition
bf!riize x afab!reader
warnings: suggestive, slight smut, pet names, soft dom! / hard!dom type shit for them all🤭🤭, eunseok calls u whore & slut, oral (both r receiving) , degradation if u squint, praising, fluff, lmk if I missed any
shotaro: 26 days
shotaro def tried to last longer than anyone in riize, only cus he has control and him being so busy with his schedule he didn’t have much time to see you or even get off by himself 😭, but once he saw you he literally went batshit crazy. like YOU in THAT outfit? he couldn’t take it anymore, had to have you right in that second.
“taro calm down..” you whined underneath him, “cant, fuck” one hand gripping onto your waist as the other rubbed your clit deliciously, throwing out compliments. “you take me so good you know that? shit, baby stop clenching, m’ gon-“ he moaned loudly as he came, falling down onto you. twitching slightly.
eunseok: 23 days
he was doing so good, keeping himself busy with his schedule like shotaro and hanging out with friends, shit he even made fun of his friends who lost during the first few weeks, he was excited to see you on thanksgiving since it’s been so long, thinking it would be a cute and adorable reunion. but oh was he so wrong. He didn’t expect to have his dick down your throat in his childhood room.
“such a fucking slut, just wants my dick in you at all times.” he grunted out as he held you down on it, gripping onto your hair with both hands to fuck your throat, tears fell down as he laughed slightly. “whore.” He grumbled while throwing his head back and letting go of your hair to let you do the rest of the work.
sungchan: 10 days
yeah, ten days, during those 10 days he was acting all cocky and laughing at his friends who lost before him, saying how they can’t keep it in their pants, meanwhile the whole time he was fighting DEMONS to keep his in his pants. kinda hard to when he lives with his wonderful partner, who just so happened to not be participating in nnn, (And who also didn’t want him to participate..)
“sungieeee~” you cooed while getting in his lap, he looked at you confused, “what’s up baby?” He held your hips almost immediately when you plopped down onto him, just great, just exactly what he needed. you started to grind on him softly, his eyes went wide as you placed your arms around his neck. “yn.. did you forget?” he sighed softly, the feeling was too good to stop you, “you don’t even win anything out of this” you whined quietly. he threw his head back, perfect to kiss his neck. “maybe I could lose just this once”
wonbin: 3 days
reason he only lasted 3 days was cause of you and the way you were acting, he was getting too cocky during October saying “oh ima win nnn for sure, bet u won’t even last a minute” and so on and so on, so you decided to test him, see if he could really pass nnn. It started off with small touches, small pecks that weren’t really small pecks instead they were long makeout sessions leaving him after touching him like you were deprived. This kept going till he couldn’t handle it anymore,
“think it’s cute to tease me?” he laughed softly as he slid two fingers in, setting a fast pace already. “bin, need you” you begged him as you held onto the hand that was between your thighs, he scoffs at your begging and goes faster than the original pace, “think im gonna reward you with my dick after all your teasing? your funny”
seunghan: 0 days
bro didn’t even get to start it, was already fucking on Halloween, definitely was the member in riize that was getting bullied for not even lasting a day.
“slow down fuck seung” you gasped, gripping onto his hair, “gon fuck you into the next day, yeah? you would like that wouldn’t you?” he laughed while putting your legs up to your chest, “your gunna fail nnn already” you let a breathy chuckle out whole pointing to clock next to the bed, “don’t care, at least I can do this everyday”
sohee: 4 days
idk I feel like he wouldn’t even try to participate, his sex drive isn’t just isn’t as crazy as most people, he could probably go like 5 days max without sex but you on the other hand? you always want him, any type of way. so obviously you were the one to break his “streak”
“your so needy baby” he cooed while kissing your face, holding your hand as he slid in, “can’t help it” you whined softly, tightening your grip on his hand. “your too handsome, makes me want you” he blushed and giggled at your word, he gets so geeked when you call him handsome <3
anton: 30 days
he took this sersiously guys, told you and himself that if he lost he was gonna leave riize. Said he didn’t wanna be teased for losing so he took the long measures to win, this means he literally avoided you like the bubonic plague. Oh you wanted to kiss him? Sure but nothing more than a peck, You wanted a hug? a small side hug will do, you were needy? Well…he could make some arrangements, can’t let his baby suffer like him <3
“you sure you don’t want anything in return?” you asked him, holding the hand in between your legs, softly rubbing his head with your other hand. “cant lose baby” he replied. “not even getting anything out of it” you mumbled, “uh yeah, satisfaction of winning” he spoke like it was obvious.
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bubblebaththoughts · 11 months ago
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Beach Sex
Ao’nung x Fem!Metkayina!Reader
kinkmas masterlist
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warnings: 18+ MDNI, p in v, oral!male receiving, sneaking around, bit of fluff at the end. One use of Y/n.
“Bro, just come with me, Neteyam said no and I know Kiri won’t go.” Lo’ak begged “You’re my only other friend, please.”
Tsireya had invited him to go to a party with the other Metkayina people.
He didn’t want to go alone, that was the problem.
“I never go to these dumb things, even before you got here.” You poked Lo’ak’s chest “It just like… one big orgy.”
“Please?” He whined “It’s the first one I’ve been allowed at!”
“Eywa help me.” You rolled your eyes “Fine, just this once, after this you’re on your own!”
“Ha! Thank you!” He smiled, “After last light is what she said… so meet me here?”
“Yeah, sure.” You grimaced
Lo’ak doesn’t know how or when to shut up. That’s what you’ve learned in your time of knowing him. Ever since he got comfortable with you, he’s always talking. About literally nothing. You didn’t mind it though, he would talk and you would listen.
Like now, for example.
He was rambling on about Tsireya while you listened to him.
You led him to the secret beach, and it instantly reeked of sex and alcohol.
“Lo’ak!” Tsireya called out, she definitely had been waiting for him, she came into view with a smile on her face, “Oh! Y/n! You came?”
You nodded, almost scared of her reaction.
“That’s great! You never come!” She smiled, bringing you in for a hug
“Right well, I think I’m gonna go find a drink.” You break away, waving them off as they snuck away together
Another one of your friends, Oreya, found you a drink. You hadn’t had one in forever, it made you wince.
“Can’t hold your alcohol anymore, Syulang?” A teasing voice made you look up, Ao’nung
You roll your eyes, looking back at him with a nasty look. “I remember it was you that couldn’t hold his alcohol.” You sassed
Ao’nung merely laughed, his shoulders shrugged as he backed off.
“You know how it is, Syulang.” He smiled “Why’d you come tonight?”
“Brought your future brother.” You teased
“My futu- Lo’ak?” His jaw dropped “He is not my future brother.”
“Well… where are they?” You gestured around “Sounds like someone’s sister might be making-“
“Shut up!” He groaned
“You’re really upset?” You laughed at his pained face
“Forest people and reef people shouldn’t be together.” He shook his head “I couldn’t imagine the outcome.”
“Of their little babies? Oh they would be adorable!”
Suddenly you’re being shoved against a rock, “Thought I told you to shut up?”
You shove him off of you, “You’re such an ass!”
He mocks you, pissing you off further.
You couldn’t deal with him like this, so you stomped off and did what anyone else would do, you started drinking.
You found yourself sitting at a fire, next to a couple that was making out. You weren’t drunk, just sober enough to be aware if your surroundings while also not having to think about anything too much.
You hear you name called from across the beach, you look up.
Ao’nung.
Just by a small nod, that signaled you to follow him.
As soon as you closed in on him, his lips were on you.
“Syulang,” He groaned “I miss you. You don’t play with me anymore.”
“We’re not kids.” You chastised “Not anymore.”
“You know what I mean.” He laughed, his hand cupping your pussy
You gasp in surprise, “Ao’nung!”
You’re shut up as his fingers begin to rub tour clit in perfect motions “Hm?”
“I know you too well, Syulang.” He whispers to you, “Know this perfect body too well.”
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whisper into his ear as he kissed your neck
You feel his smirk grow against your skin, “That’s what makes it fun.”
“Ao’nung…” You whine
“What is it?” He mumbled, still working your clit “You wanna come? Is that it?”
“Ao’nung… I shouldn’t.” You breathlessly whispered
“Yes, you definitely should.” He leans in, capturing your lips in a fiery kiss
You feel the warmth of his body against yours, and you can feel the energy between you two. His lips are soft and gentle as he kisses you, his hands exploring your body. You can feel the intensity of the moment, and you let the passion take control. You're completely taken by him, and you can't help but feel the electric current between the two of you. You can feel your heart racing as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss. You can feel the emotion in the air and you can't help but give into it. You let go, completely lost in the moment, and you know that you never want it to end.
Your heart races as he pulls away, leaving you wanting more. The world around you fades away as you stay lost in his embrace.
He pulls his hand away from your needy pussy, “Did you miss me Syulang?”
“Ao’nung… I see you everyday.” You mumble
“Answer me.”
“Ye-yes, I missed you.” You stumbled
“Mm, I missed you too.” He smiled
He stands before you, looming large and waiting for your next move. You take a deep breath and slowly move closer, a sly smirk playing on your lips. You can practically feel the anticipation radiating off of him.
Your hands reach out and slide around his waist, your fingers tracing the contours of his body. Your touch sends a thrill through him, and you can feel his muscles tense beneath your fingertips. In response, you press yourself closer, your body melting against his.
The next thing you know, you’re backed against the rock and his mouth is on yours, his tongue exploring your depths. His hands roam over your body, igniting a fire within you.
“Get on your knees.” He demanded as he pulled away from your lips
You obey with a nod, dropping to your knees in the soft sand of the isolated beach.
“You know what to do.” He pushes your hair back
Ao’nung untied his loincloth for you, revealing his hard cock.
Your heart races as you kneel before him, the scent of his desire intensifying with each passing second. You take him in your mouth, your lips wrapping around him like a glove. His gasp fills the air as you start to move, your tongue swirling around him in a way that only you know. You can feel him trembling as you take him deeper, your throat constricting as you feel him swell.
He moans as you continue, your hands running up and down his length as you work your way further and further down. You can feel his breathing becoming labored, and you can sense that he's about to let go.
You take him as far as you can, your mouth and throat feeling like they're on fire as you milk him for every last drop. His body quivers and shakes as he releases, and you swallow every drop of his pleasure.
“Damn, Syulang.” He moaned, his hand holding your face gently
You can feel yourself trembling as you pull away, the taste of him still lingering on your tongue. You look up at him, and the look of bliss on his face is all you need to know that you did a good job.
He gets down on his knees with you, and he pulled you into a passionate embrace. His lips were soft and inviting against yours, and his hands moved to cup your face as he deepened the kiss. His tongue explored and caressed, and you felt your body melting against his.
His hands moved to your waist, and he pulled you closer. His lips trailed down your neck, sending shivers of desire through you. He cupped your breasts, and you gasped as pleasure surged through you. His hands moved lower, and he tugged at your loincloth, eager to explore more of your body.
You untied it for him, and his hands roamed over your body, caressing, exploring, and arousing you until you were trembling with need. He moved you back to the sand, and you sank into it as he settled between your legs.
He kissed your throat, and you felt his hardness pressing against you. He teased you, his movements increasing in intensity until you were both panting with desire.
With one smooth motion, he entered you, and you gasped as pleasure surged through you.
He moved slowly at first, and then faster, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through you. You clung to him, and he groaned with pleasure, his movements becoming more urgent.
He began to rut into you at an unmatched, animalistic, pace.
“Rub that little clit for me, huh?” He brought your hand down for you
You listen to him and begin to stimulate yourself while he fucked you.
“Gonna make me cum if you keep clenching down on my cock like that- fuck!” Ao’nung cursed
“Ao’nung I, I’m gonna…” You whimpered
“I know, go on baby, do it for me, cum on my fucking cock, do it.” He relentlessly thrusted into you, making your eyes roll back and your hands dig into his arms
Your orgasm almost broke you, made you over sensitive. He fucked you through it with reassuring words of praise with small kisses.
Once you came down from your little high, Ao’nung picked his pace back up, his own personal goal was to cum in your sweet little pussy tonight.
And oh how he did.
Refused to pull out even after, but when he did, he watched his own cum dribble out of you with awe, and then used two of his fingers to push it back in you.
He lies there with you, holding you to him as close as you would let him.
“Missed you so much.” He mumbled
“Missed you too.” You tiredly answered
taglist: @danniackerman @loakslut
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lizdive · 3 months ago
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Er father figure Ratio with child reader that is like huohuo! Idk what else to explain but i hope ya get it😞 (PLEASE PLATONIC)
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You got it anon 🫡 thank you for requesting and if you’re unsatisfied just tell me !! <33
notes 𐙚 gender-neutral reader — "you" used to refer to reader ,, reader is a child ,, reader is based off of "huohuo" from honkai star rail (duh) ,, platonic relationships ,, i’m not sure if that blue flame thing is called phase flame but that what i’ll call it ,, mister tail exists here for reader ,, not proofread ignore typos
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⭑ Despite having the ability to exorcise spirits, the phase flame absolutely terrified you as you ran through the halls of herta’s space station, the living thing of blue flames rushing after you as Mr. Tail yelled at you to do something — anything.
⭑ You ended up bumping into VERITAS, falling back onto your butt. The professor was obviously less than pleased as he looked down at you, but he blinked once he noticed you didn’t seem to be a researcher or anything. He, of course, spotted the phase flame rushing after you at full speed and realized what was happening.
⭑ Even after he contained the creature you still kept close to him as if he was your human shield.
⭑ You did apologize, of course, and introduce yourself. VERITAS wasn’t too harsh on you since you were still only a child and children weren’t really the brightest stars naturally so he knew you wouldn’t be Einstein smart.
⭑ VERITAS tried to get you to leave him alone multiple times but somehow you both end up bumping into each other again so he’s begrudgingly accepted the fact that you are stuck with him.
⭑ He’s intrigued by Mr. Tail. When you tell him the story and how you could’ve been harmed if any other approach was taken, he does feel a bit bad. But also a bit unamused because of your past dumbness to interact with a literal FLAME.
⭑ Gets along with Mr. Tail but also doesn’t?? They have their moments. Whenever you’re in lectures with him, seated in the corner just doing your thing whether it be creating talismans or doing some activities and assignments he’s given you, Mr. Tail will sometimes be up there with VERITAS and his students cry x10 more because they can both be pretty mean..
⭑ VERITAS doesn’t blame you for being scared of spirits and other things, but he’s also kind of confused at the lengths of your fear because it’s kind of your job / occupation to get rid of them.
⭑ If you tell him you want to resign but you’re too scared, he’ll encourage you and help you build the confidence to quit. However if he noticed it’s affecting your health negatively (ex: heart health because of the constant scares) he will force you to quit. Job be damned, especially because you’re still very young.
⭑ If it’s because of money or something, he has enough and more to spend on the two (three?) of you.
⭑ People making fun of you? Not anymore. Whenever VERITAS hears someone call you 'the possessed demoness' he gets annoyed. Yes, Mr. Tail possess you sometimes however it’s only to keep you safe. He even encourages Mr. Tail to do so to keep you dafe during those situations because he knows how petrified you get.
⭑ He doesn’t hide his distain for the nickname and any other mean names people may call you. He will literally give a physical reaction with his expression and tell them to hold their tongue and learn some respect.
⭑ Knowing how timid, shy, and just sensitive overall you can be, he’ll try to tone down his behavior for you so you don’t get scared of him. That’s the last thing he wants — he doesn’t want it at all, actually.
⭑ VERITAS will help you build up your courage if you wish. He… isn’t a big fan of Mr. Tail’s methods but he also knows that for some they’re effective. Exposure isn’t necessarily bad but he thinks you should start off slow with smaller things.
⭑ You’ll probably know every kind of spirit there is to know about because of VERITAS and how to deal with them. Not even just spirits, bro will teach you about other creatures, too.
⭑ And at the end of the day, scared or brave, VERITAS doesn’t mind if you hide behind him and let him take care of you and the situation,,
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rinhaler · 10 months ago
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TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES
CHAPTER SUMMARY: It's Chigiri's birthday and everyone decides it's a perfect day to go to the nearby village to shop for secret santa gifts! Will you be able to get through one day without bickering with your ex?
ex-fiancé!rin x f!reader
WARNINGS : 18+, alcohol consumption, hate sex? + love making, dry humping, mutual pining, no prep, vaginal sex, premature ejaculation, creampie, fingering, oral, mattress humping, tit sucking, multiple rounds?, overstimulation, squirting, choking, praise, dacryphilia, pet names (princess, baby).
WORDS : 12.2k
notes : It's MY birthday too btw hehe wanted Chigiri to be the readers bestie bc he's my birthday twin oops enjoy the fic tho ♡
       LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER
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Daybreak filters through the window as your eyes begrudgingly flutter open. It seems like both you and Chigiri had forgotten to close the curtains before you passed out drunk and stoned. The mattress beneath you feels like a cloud as you stretch out; your hand comes into contact with cold, fair skin.
You blink the sleep from your eyes when you recall that Hyoma seldom sleeps without a shirt.
And your blood runs cold.
It all comes rushing back to you, then. That crushing conversation with Rin you’d had last night that made you sob and search for your best friend, leaving him alone so you could preserve his enjoyment of the evening.
“Eita.” you whisper, attempting to shake him awake.
He knocked on your door, offered you weed, and you couldn’t bring yourself to decline. Not when you were so lonely, so filled with envy and loathing as you dredged over each painful word your ex shared with you on his balcony.
“Mmpf, w’time is it?” Eita grumbles, feeling around for his phone until he finds it. “Eugh, it’s so early…”
“You have to go.” you tell him, lightly slapping him until he pays attention to you. You get out of bed and are met with the freezing air filling the room. He doesn’t listen, but he watches you with one eye slightly open as you rush to turn on the heater to warm up the room. You freeze as you look at him again, wondering why he’s shirtless if it’s so cold. “Eita… did we…”
“Mm.” he grunts, closing his eyes again. You jump onto the mattress beside him, really shaking him so he can’t possibly ignore you. “Woah, what is it?”
“We fucked?” you ask him, panicking.
“No way.” he shakes his head. “Don’t fuck drunk ‘n high girls.” he assures you.
You breathe a sigh of relief as you lie back beside him. It’s stupid to worry about Rin anymore, but you can’t help it. He said he wouldn’t care if you fucked the whole house, but did he really mean it? It seems like a violation, to you, breaking bro code or something. And, honestly, you don’t think it would reflect well on you either.
The last thing you wanted to do was cause an uproar when you’re here for a few more days.
“Eita? What happened last night?” you wonder, quietly, unsure if you want the answer.
You might not have had sex, but that doesn’t mean something else didn’t happen. If you kissed, you certainly don’t remember it. The possibilities are endless, and it makes your blood reach the same chilling temperature that fills the room.
“We jus’ smoked, baby,” he tells you, rolling over on his stomach to look at you. He’s pretty, like this. He’s pretty anyway. But the pinks and yellows breaching through the blinds softens him immensely. “You cried a lot. About Rin. ‘n then you passed out.” he closes his eyes to sleep some more.
How utterly humiliating.
Though you don’t really have time to dwell as you see him trying to sneakily sleep beside you again. You lightly tap his face, yanking the duvet away from him to reveal his toned back muscles.
He’s still wearing his jeans from the party.
“I don’t know where Chigiri is, but if anyone sees you in here, they’re gonna get the wrong idea,” you whisper, and he grunts. He takes his time, but eventually, gets up in search of his shirt and shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything.”
“It’s okay,” he smiles back at you over his shoulder as he shoves his feet into his sneakers. “You want Rin back, yeah?”
“I—” you hesitate. Do you want him back? You still stand by the reasons you decided to end things, after all. But so many feelings have come rushing back since seeing him in the flesh again. You were missing him already before you even got here. And now, you’re so close but so far. And even further now that he’s seeing someone new.
Do you really want him back?
Or do you just want what you can’t have?
“Either way, you don’t need me right now.” he tells you, pulling his shirt over his head. “Your loss, by the way.” he laughs.
“Hah, really?” you laugh too.
“Big time, I’m definitely a better fuck than Itoshi. Both of them,” he winks, biting his lip before heading for the door. “If you change your mind, I’ll be around.” he salutes before sneaking out and shutting the door behind him.
The cold air hits you like a brick as you run to lock the door after him, but you hurry back to warmth soon after. You starfish in the bed when you realise you have the space to yourself again, and your eyes slowly close. A few more minutes sleep won’t hurt, right? No one else seems to be awake yet.
He didn’t even tell you what time it is.
You roll over and grab your phone from the side table and wince when you see that it’s only 8am. It’s sickening, so much so that you practically throw your phone back down and get in a comfortable position to sleep.
It’s short lived, though, you get fifteen minutes of resting your eyes at most before you hear knocking at the door.
It makes you grumble, like a man. Like your dad specifically. It horrifies you enough to make you stir and clamber out of bed. It’s grotesque, you think, inheriting such an uncouth trait.
You’ll have to train yourself out of it.
You unlock the door, and you aren’t sure why you’re surprised to see Chigiri step through. He stares at you silently as you lock the door again, he doesn’t even follow you into bed when you cover your barely clothed limbs.
“Something happened last night.” he tells you, looking worried.
“What?” you wonder. “What did you do?”
He looks so serious, and it makes your heart race. Did you do something embarrassing? Probably, but that isn’t anything new. His silence makes your body flush with warmth. The nerves and anxiety you feel begin to course through every nerve ending you possess, and soon enough you’re throwing the blankets away from your body.
He looks into your eyes before thinking about what he should say. And after losing all composure, he starts laughing. “Nothing, just wanted to see what it feels like to be you for a second.” he smirks, “You do that shit everyday? Exhausting.”
“You’re such a dick.” you chastise him, getting comfy in the bed again. And now, finally, he joins you. “Have you got a hangover?”
“Big time.” he tells you. You grab some painkillers from your side table and pop out enough from the silvery film for you and Chigiri to consume. “Something happened last night, right?” he asks.
“Don’t get me started.” you sigh.
“I came up here to come to bed, the door was locked.” he tells you, “So I woke up with Tabito on the couch, Sae on the floor and Oliver on the coffee table.”
You laugh, rolling on your side so you can face each other and gossip. The state everyone is in today is no surprise. Though you suspect the only one not nursing a hangover is probably Rin. You didn’t see him drink all that much, and he doesn’t get high.
He’s probably doing his morning routine right now.
A routine he got you into when you first started dating. You wanted to impress him, after all. But his yoga routines are far out of your league. You used to end up giggling on your back after a fall while he laughed along with you.
But you liked doing the meditation afterwards.
“Rin almost kissed me last night, I think…” you contemplate it, though you admittedly aren’t sure if it’s a fabrication. “It was really intense, but he rejected me.”
“Damn.” he replies, “Wait, so you were in here alone? Why did you lock the door?!”
“Eita spent the night…” you sigh, covering your face with your pillow. Chigiri teases you, trying to pull it away to inspect your facial expressions. He’s laughing, loudly, unable to believe what he’s hearing. “He told me that we just got high, and I cried about Rin.” you confess.
“You are floundering.” he tells you, and you nod. “He’s into you, you’re into him, Ryusei made him sound like a major player so he’s probably a good fuck. Rin gave you your answer, you should have sealed the deal!” he continues, and all you can do is groan. Because he’s right.
How long is it going to take to get over Rin, anyway? Why should you spare his feelings when he clearly has no desire to do the same for you?
Eita isn’t what you want right now, though.
His pretty face and his alleged impeccable stroke game isn’t going to change that.
“Rin was jealous last night.” Chigiri admits, and it grabs your attention instantly. “Ryusei was, too. But Rin was really jealous.”
“Really?”
He nods, “When you were dancing with Eita, I was trying to keep an eye on him.” you get comfortable and make full eye contact with him again as he speaks. “While we were playing never have I ever, too. When Eita and Oliver were all over you, he looked pissed.”
“Interesting…”
“His girlfriend’s gotta be a rebound.” he theorizes, and for whatever reason, it gives you chills. Both of your eyes widen at the same time, and no doubt you’ve arrived at the same idea. “We need to get more info.”
“Ryusei wants to talk to me at some point, I’ll ask him.” you tell Hyoma, and he nods, concurring that it’s a good idea. “You need to talk to Sae. He might know something.”
“He didn’t even know Rin was coming,” Chigiri rolls his eyes, but relents. “Fine.”
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The two of you go downstairs, surprisingly greeted by everyone else. Everyone’s crowded around the kitchen island again. The smell of bacon, eggs and toast floods your nostrils as you descend and reach the kitchen.
You sit in between Oliver and Chigiri, the former not paying you too much attention other than a polite hello. Ryusei catches your eye as he tilts his head, waving when you finally make eye contact. His face looks serious, intentional, he’s waiting for that talk you silently agreed to.
“Surprised you’re cooking for us all, Rin.” Hyoma speaks, resting his elbow on the countertop before settling his head in his hand.
“Yeah, well,” he speaks quietly but with a slight gruffness. “It’s fine.”
He carefully sets down two plates in front of you all. Eita and Ryusei are already eating, so Oliver reaches for the nearest plate. Rin scowls at him, harshly trapping his hand between the plate and the spatula he’s holding.
“That’s not for you.” Rin tells him, and he moves his hand. You watch him as he pushes the plate in your direction, looking at you briefly before he looks back at Oliver. “Here.” he continues, pushing the other plate towards his hungry friend.
Hyoma is thankful that Rin seems too preoccupied trying to shield his face from you to notice how his eyes have widened and he can’t control the smirk on his face. You haven’t noticed, either, but Sae raises a suspicious eyebrow as he looks at your best friend. Though, luckily, he doesn’t comment on it.
You look down at the plate, realising why he wanted you to have this plate. He’s cut your toast into triangles how he knows you like, and they are the perfect shade of golden brown with butter dreamily melting into it. He cut the fat off your bacon and fried it until it was crispy.
You look at Oliver’s plate, seeing how little care have gone into the eggs. The yolks are messy and broken, whereas yours are perfect.
“Thank you, Rinni— Rin.” you smile, picking up your cutlery as you start to dig in. He doesn’t say anything, he just smiles weakly as he nods. He washes his hands in the sink as his brother places a plate down in front of Chigiri. He sits opposite to him with a plate of his own.
Your smile fades as you watch Rin walk away without sitting down with a plate of his own.
“Where’re you going?” Ryusei asks, cheeks full of food as he talks.
“Not hungry.” he responds, retreating upstairs.
You sigh, losing your appetite despite the food looking so perfectly appealing. Hyoma leans over to you, whispering that you need to eat as he watches you play with your food. He’s right, as usual, so you force yourself to take a few bites. Your eyes meet Ryusei’s as you look up, and you see an expression of concern and worry on his face.
It forces you to continue eating. You don’t want to worry everyone, after all.
But you yourself are worried about Rin.
He could be telling the truth, of course. It’s possible that he really isn’t hungry. But what if it’s your fault? Maybe he can’t stomach the idea of being around you. Eating around you. He might not even want to breathe the same air as you after last night.
Breakfast… he made it for you specifically, though.
Why would he do that if he hated you so much?
“He’s almost finished eating,” Hyoma whispers, gesturing to Shidou’s plate. “Eat your food, pull him aside, and I’ll see if I can find out anything from Sae.” he continues.
You take a few more bites and push your plate aside. Chigiri waits for you to do as he had told you, but you whisper to him instead.
“Why do you think Rin isn’t eating?” you ask, “I should make him breakfast since he did the same for me!” you smile, excitedly.
“Aw!” he smiles back, a little too widely to be sincere. “Your cooking is disgusting. You’re trying to get him back, not kill him.”
“Oh my God it isn’t that ba—”
“Hey, didn’t you need to talk to Shidou about something?” he says, loudly, pulling everyone’s attention from their food to look at your exchange. No one is more captivated than Shidou himself, however, who picks up both of your plates and moves them closer to the sink. “I’ll wash up, dude, don’t worry.” Chigiri says as he stands to his feet, shooting you a final, warning glare before walking to the sink.
You smile at Ryusei, leading him over to the empty lounge. He lights the wood logs in the fireplace after seeing your skin break out in goosebumps. The couch feels tight as you sit together, despite being so far apart. His arm rests over the back while he rests an ankle on his knee, and you’re sitting cross-legged with your back against the furniture’s arm.
It’s awkward.
There’s an obvious tension that you don’t feel qualified to break. He’s formulating words, you can see him thinking of what to say since he’s older and should therefore be more mature. He’s the one who hurt you, unintentionally of course, so he should try and alleviate this heavy feeling of unease.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he starts. “If I did anything to give you the wrong idea… I’m sorry.”
“No, I was being a brat, I’m sorry.” you tell him, trying your best to not let your bruised ego interfere with a friendship you do value wholeheartedly. “You were right, I was hurting and then I lashed out because I was embarrassed.”
“You know I’d fuck you in a heartbeat if you weren’t Rin’s girl, yeah?” he laughs, tilting your head up by the chin with his finger as he urges you to look at him. “I know you aren’t together, but it’s a red line to me.”
“I understand…” you nod, “Are you going to tell him?”
He shakes his head, “There’s nothing to tell. Nothin’ happened.” he smiles at you. He pulls you into his arms and hugs you tightly. It makes you giggle; you can’t help yourself. Ryusei always seems to make you feel lighter whenever you talk to him.
He’s sweet.
Really sweet.
And often times, severely misunderstood. You’ve known him since he was young, he’s thirty, now. You remember meeting him when you hadn’t been with Rin for too long. He told you about how they’d fight, physically. He told you he was crazy and unhinged, this that and the other.
But you got to know him, you suppose.
You got to see a softer side of him and one that cares deeply. And he does care for you, even still. He’ll care about you for as long as he lives, you can see it plainly as he holds you in his arms, looking up into his eyes.
He looks at you like you’re his everything, sometimes.
You melt into his arms when you hear him lightly sniff your strawberry scented hair, it makes him hold you tighter. His head drops, levelling his mouth with your ear.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he wonders.
You stiffen, and he feels it. He rubs your shoulders lightly with his thumbs, encouraging you to share in your own time. Whether it’s now, or in an hour.
He’s got you.
“Rin— His… girlfriend,” you gulp, fighting tears as they threaten to form and douse your cheeks for the second day in a row. “Do you know anything?”
“I know the same as you,” he confesses, feeling a pang on guilt in his heart as he hears you sigh in disappointment. “You ended things, baby, are ya jealous?”
“I’m starting to think I made a mistake…” you admit, looking into his eyes. “Help me, Ryu, please. I want to know if there’s still a chance with him.”
He just huffs and shrugs his shoulders.
Realistically there’s not much he can do to help. And you know that. You know how stubborn Rin can be, and what’s worse, he’s so private about his personal life. It used to be you that he was so secretive about. The only pictures on his Instagram profile were ones of you and him.
Just two pictures.
One of your birthday.
Another of your engagement.
They’re both gone, now. It breaks your heart to think about. He might replace them one day with photos of her. The thought of another woman wearing his grandmother’s ring makes anxiety surge through your nerve endings. Your body eases, though, when you feel Ryusei’s protective hold get stronger.
“I’ll find out what I can for you…” he whispers, “Just don’t get your hopes up.”
You nod, closing your eyes peacefully when you feel him place a delicate kiss into your temple. Chigiri looks over at you, shrugging, as if he’s asking for news. But you just shake your head, leaving both of you disappointed.
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“Sae doesn’t know anything either.” Chigiri tells you now that you’re finally alone together again in the room you’re sharing. You grunt as you sit down on the bed with him, pouting that your little scheme has failed before it even took flight. “Are we giving up?”
“I guess, what else can we do?” you sigh. It was a noble thought that you’d be able to get some information and find a way to get your fairytale ending, but this is real life. Of course that wasn’t an option. “Anyway, it’s your birthday tomorrow. We should be focusing on that. Sae said he wanted to plan something.”
“We talked about it last night… he suggested going to one of the bars in town.” he explains. “Maybe we could do the secret Santa shopping too. Who did you get?” he wonders.
“Um…” you get off the bed, moving a few things around in the room as you try and recall where you left the jagged piece of cardboard with your recipient’s name written on. You find it in a crumpled pile of last night’s clothes and panties, handing it to Chigiri to read.
“Sae! At least you know him well enough to get something for him.” he smiles, giving it back to you.
“I was hoping I’d get you or Ryusei to be honest… or, never mind.” you speak quietly, regretting wanting to bring Rin up again when you’d tried to change the subject in the first place. “Who did you get?” you wonder.
He smirks, pulling his own piece of cardboard out of his pocket before showing it to you. Your face drops, and he can’t help but laugh, sticking his tongue out as he waves it around teasingly.
Rin.
“Give me it.” you demand. You reach out to grab it, but he snatches it from your reach. “Fucking give me it!” you leap on him, fighting with him as he carries on keeping it away from you.
“You fucking psycho!” he laughs, losing the upper hand as he lowers his hands to hold his aching stomach. “I was gonna give it to you anyway, idiot.”
“This is a gamechanger.” you smile, triumphantly holding the bent and torn piece of cardboard. “He almost kissed me. He was jealous. He made me breakfa—”
“He made everyone breakfast.”
“We’ve got history!” you steal the conversation back from him as he interrupts you, glaring at him with a new determination in your eyes. He watches you as you speak, knowing that you’re definitely onto something. There is so much history between you. And if you can pull of a simple, romantic gesture, he might bare his heart to you again. “Good things always happen on your birthday. I’m more excited than usual.”
“Because it’s my special day and you love me, right?” he rolls his eyes. “Not because you’re scheming to get your ex back.”
“I’m very excited for your special day and I love you very much, Chigs.” you laugh, chubbing his cheeks as you bend down from where you’re standing to tease him. “I’ll give up after this, for real. If he doesn’t want me, fine! But I think there’s still a chance…”
You aren’t sure if that’s entirely true though.
Maybe it’s your imagination.
Maybe it’s just hope.
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“Who’s gonna be the designated drivers?” Karasu wonders, scanning around the room as he contemplates who will fill the roles. “We’ll need two, minimum.”
“I don’t mind staying sober.” you pipe up, shrugging and smiling happily. You got wasted on your first night here and, honestly, your stomach is still raw. You look upstairs as you hear a creak of the wood floor, the only person not present is the birthday boy himself. So, your face lights up, eager to finally see him and give him his gifts. “It’s Hyoma’s birthday, so he isn’t driving, decide the rest amongst yourselves.” you tell them as you stand up and rush towards your shared room.
The guys nod, all looking at each other as they try and come to a decision.
“I don’t care.” Rin announces, taking a drink of his coffee. “I’ll drive.”
“We should have one more to be safe,” Sae suggests, and they all groan, disappointed that Rin hadn’t gotten them all off the hook. It’s a choice between five, and none of them seem willing to be gracious enough to offer. “Fine. Let’s draw straws.”
You knock on the door to your room before entering immediately after, a wide grin sprawled across your face.
“Good morning! Happy birthday~!” you squeal, rushing over to your best friend to give him a tight, loving squeeze. He laughs, thanking you gratefully. He watches you as you grab the tall bag full of gifts and hand it to him. “If there’s anything you don’t like, jus’ lemme know and we can return or exchange!” you tell him, and he nods.
Though, as expected, your taste is perfect.
He pulls out each meticulously wrapped gift and is happy with each and every item you’ve gotten him. You’ve gotten the perfect mix of presents for him. Some clothes, accessories, and jewellery you were certain he’d like.
“This must have cost a fortune, you didn’t have to spend so much y’know.” he smiles, happily, holding a designer sweater you’d gotten him with an intricate design. You think nothing of it, though. If you could buy gifts for your atrocious little step siblings, you didn’t mind doing the same for your best friend. “I might wear this today!”
“You should! We’ve just been picking designated drivers.” you inform him. “I’m not drinking tonight, but I told them you aren’t driving since it’s your special day.”
“You aren’t?”
“I want a clear head today… it’s gonna be a long day.” you explain, and he nods. “We’ll probably be leaving soon so we should start getting dressed.” you tell him, standing up and crumpling all of the wrapping paper into a ball. You toss it aside before you decide to sit and start getting ready again.
“I’m gonna say good morning to everyone.” he smiles, waving.
You’re alone in the room, now, thinking about what’s to come. You don’t know how you should wear your hair or do your makeup. You aren’t sure how to dress comfortably for a shopping day whilst simultaneously looking hot enough to go for drinks and party after.
There’s an unnecessary pressure you’re letting weigh down on you. You want to impress Rin. You want to leave an impression. It’s silly, really. He knows you through and through. Every deep, saccharine inch of you, better than anyone else ever will. But here you are, preening yourself for his benefit more than your own.
It feels somewhat in vain, deep down.
Why are you trying to put on a mask for a man that knows you so, so intimately?
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“You look really good,” Chigiri comments, leaning across the centre console to whisper in hushed tones. You offer a giddy, accomplished smile as you thank him, Eita and Oliver agree with him as they seem to overhear even over the pop music blasting through the speakers.
Cosy was the right move when you decided on your look for the day, though you may look like you’re heading for a day on some ski slopes rather than shopping and partying.
You’re dressed head to toe in white. Earmuffs, fuzzy coat and boots, and a skin tight jumpsuit. You even have white mittens ready to wear when you get out of the car.
“So… we’re splitting up. Looking for gifts. And then meeting at the bar in a few hours?” you ask the boys, who all nod.
“I already know what I’m getting so I’ll be going straight to the bar when I’m done.” Eita announces.
“Me too.” Oliver tells him, laughing.
You shake your head as you watch them joke around like kids, but with a joyous smile on your face. They must have something simple and generic in mind to be able to purchase their gifts to quickly. Though, knowing them, it’s probably alcohol.
There are butterflies in your stomach as you approach the nearby village town, you look into the rearview mirror to see Rin is still following closely behind.
You wonder how frustrated he is with Ryusei annoying him in the passenger seat.
You take a deep breath as you park, watching him pull up beside you. Everyone gets out quickly, eager to stretch their legs after the thirty-minute drive. You sigh as Rin walks away rapidly; his face buried in his phone without even bothering to say goodbye.
Chigiri shrugs at you, and everyone disperses through the village in different directions.
“I don’t even know where to start…” you confess, looking between each of the cutesy looking stores.
You enter a few, browsing, hoping something will leap out at you. An accessory you know he might like or maybe even a keepsake that might remind him of you whenever he sees it. But it starts to feel hopeless after you leave the 7th little shop you come across.
Otoya and Karasu pass by you, laughing as you enter while they’re leaving.
You dread to think what they’ve bought.
“I bet they’ve bought dirty magazines or something stupid.” Chigiri suspects, shaking his head in amusement as he thinks about how loud they were laughing. You grin, thinking about how the other guys would react to receiving such a scandalous, silly gift.
You try a few more places, and even revisit some others. But you’re about ready to give up as time keeps going on and on. Hyoma hasn’t had much luck finding something for the elder Itoshi sibling, either.
You’re both close to just buying some local sweets and calling it a day.
“Well this has been a disaster,” you huff, “So much for this being a gamechanger!”
“We haven’t been down here yet.” he points to an alleyway with a few more stores.
You enter through the hefty double doors of one, observing what kinds of things they have on the shelves. You’re both immediately excited when you realise you’re in a charity shop. You’re all too familiar with some of the treasures some people give away, some of your favourite outfits are things you’ve found through being thrifty.
“Oh this is perfect!” you beam, looking through each shelf at all of the little trinkets. Chigiri separates from you as he starts sifting through the clothes, wondering if he can find a novelty shirt of some kind as gag gift.
“There are DVDs over here, maybe we should get some to watch if we get bored?” he suggests. “They’re so cheap.”
“Oh cool!” you smile, approaching him to look through the selection together. “Ah! Oh my God, get this for Sae!” you tell him as you pull a DVD down from the shelf and hand it to him. “It’s his favourite!”
“Taxi Driver? Okay.” he scoffs, but keeps hold of it. At the very least, he knows Sae will definitely like it. Though he’s sure if it’s his favourite he probably already owns it in some form. “I’ve never seen it.”
“Every time he tried to make us watch it, I always fell asleep.” you giggle. Your eyes scan across the DVDs as you carry on walking through the shop. And then you realise you’ve walked too far when you see the spines change in height and width. “Oh, CDs!” you speak excitedly as you look through all of the old bands and albums on the shelves.
You grimace in confusion as your eyes settle on a familiar album amongst all of the other more obscure ones. Surely not, you think. But you place your finger on the top and wiggle it out from being suffocated between the rest.
“Hyoma!” you squeal, flipping it for him to see. His eyes drop to see Lana’s Lust for Life album in your hand. He seems confused, though, as his eyes flit between yours and the CD you’re holding. “It’s a sign!”
“Is it?” he asks, sceptically.
“Yes! He got me this on vinyl for my birthday a few years ago!” you explain, and he looks sympathetic rather than supportive. “I— am I being stupid? I was thinking it might remind him of us.”
“No, no, it’s a good idea.” he tells you, holding your shoulders supportively. “Let’s go pay and get to the bar.” he continues, holding a few DVDs in his hands.
You grab your purse, offering to cover everything as the cashier helps you bag everything and rings you up. It’s cheap, and yet, you feel accomplished. You were starting to doubt whether you’d actually be able to find anything for him. If Chigiri hadn’t pointed this place out, you’d be giving him a poxy box of sweets on Christmas morning.
Although, the sweets might be a nice additional gift.
~
The guys slowly but surely begin filtering into the bar with their shopping bags. You’ve been here with Chigiri for a little while, but Oliver, Tabito and Eita were the first ones here when you arrived.
Ryusei sits down beside you when he comes in next, and Rin isn’t far behind him. Everyone cheers when Sae comes in last, and you can’t help but notice everyone’s shopping bags seem to look similar in some way or another.
“The shops are so dead.” Sae tells you all, and everyone happens to agree.
You aren’t sure what they all expected, though. It’s a small village town in the middle of nowhere. It’s not like you’re in a bustling city with anything and everything at your fingertips. It made shopping more fun, you thought. It gave you the opportunity to really look around until you found something special.
“I’ll get drinks,” Rysuei announces as he stands up. He makes a mental note of what everyone wants, knowing he’ll probably forget when he goes to the bar.
“Move down, Rin, I need to talk to Ryusei.” Sae instructs his little brother. Rin looks at Ryusei’s empty seat, and then at you. It makes your heart race when his pretty teal eyes meet yours. He looks worried, for some reason, but masks it well as he shuffles from his seat to the one closer to you.
Your eyes wander as they meet Sae’s, and he winks at you casually.
Hyoma never did tell you what he and Sae talked about, only that he couldn’t get any information, either. But from this simple act, it seems Hyoma has revealed your true feelings for his brother to him.
And you’re happy.
Because this small gesture indicates that you have his support.
You don’t say anything, not right away, as he settles down beside you. You’re surprised he isn’t toying with his phone like he has been endlessly since he got here. It makes your throat tighten to think he might be doing it so that you don’t see his texts with his new girlfriend.
���How did shopping go?” you ask him, hoping to break the ice and stop yourself from spiralling about a woman you don’t even know the name of.
“Fine, I think,” he tells you. “I think everyone’s gonna be disappointed with what they get.”
“I don’t know… it’s part of the fun.” you reply. “If we wanted to go all out, we would have planned to do this before we got here so we could order perfect, expensive things. But having a little budget and no idea was a change of pace.”
“What did you buy?” he wonders.
“I got some sweets to eat when we get back.” you smile. It makes him smile, too, causing you to giggle like a schoolgirl. You hadn’t expected to see his face change like that because of something you said. It’s warm, thawing away at your frozen heart.
“Happy birthday, Chigiri.” Ryusei says as he gives your best friend his drink first. You already know that Hyoma isn’t going to have to pay for a single drink himself while he’s here, it’s everyone’s birthday offering to him. Rin doesn’t pay Ryusei any mind as he sits down in his previous seat, too busy focusing on chatting with you.
It makes you feel special.
It makes you feel wanted.
“Rin?” you whisper, leaning over to him. He looks at you, a serious expression on his face as he senses your desperation. You’re trying not to be so needy, but you just can’t help it. “… I’m glad you decided to come along.”
It’s not what you wanted to say and not what he expected to hear. Although, you aren’t sure what you actually do want to say to him. Telling him you still harbour feelings will surely only end in tears when you know you can’t have him.
He isn’t yours anymore.
“Yeah? Well, it hasn’t been as painful as I expected it to be.” he tells you. And even that, such a simple, sulky sentence makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it’s because you know it’s oh so quintessentially Rin Itoshi. “You did scare me, when I saw you on the stairs.”
“You scared me too…” you admit. “I—”
“It happened, it’s fine. We’re fine.” he tells you, taking a sip of the lemonade Ryusei had ordered for him. You decided to stick to water, the freezing ice cubes bump against your lips as you drink heartily. “I heard Otoya go into your room the other night. After we— talked.”
“Nothing happened…” you respond, drinking more water to cover how your expression fills with shame and regret. He nods, understanding. “S-So, your girlfriend. Tell me about her…” you ask, reluctantly. And you’re a little surprised when he shakes his head.
“I’m not doing this,” he speaks. “We’re fine. I’m being civil. You aren’t entitled to know about my personal life just because I’m tolerating you.”
“Tolerating me? Really?”
“Yes, tolerating you.” he continues. “You lost the right to know about me when you left.”
“God, Rin, I barely knew you then.” you huff, crossing one leg over the other as you slightly angle your back to him. He puts his arm around the back of your seat and positions himself awful close. It startles you when you turn back to face him.
“What are you talking about?” he asks.
“You were so distant. All you cared about was football.” you inform him, doing your best to keep your voice lowered so that you don’t make a scene. The last thing you wanted was to ruin your best friend’s birthday because you had a momentary lapse of judgement.
Maybe exes are exes for a reason.
“Because it’s my job? My career.”
“And I have a career too, but I still remembered to ask how your day was. You stopped talking to me unless it was about our schedules.”
“You—” he huffs, moving away from you. You’re a little taken aback when he stands up with the intention of leaving. He pulls out some money and tells Hyoma to get himself a drink, on him, as a birthday gift.
Everyone looks a little lost for words when he ups and leaves. But then there’s a sigh of relief when they remembered they appointed Karasu to be another designated driver.
It’s not sitting right with you, though.
It almost felt like you were close to a breakthrough. You were getting into the nitty gritty of why your relationship fell apart in the first place, and, as usual, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. You gather your things and decide to chase after him, knowing you can’t leave things like this.
You won’t even be able to call yourselves friends if you don’t figure this out.
“You’re stalking me, now?” Rin chuckles as he ducks into Sae’s car and locks the door. You try knocking on the window for him to let you in, but you’re speechless when he just drives off instead.
You fumble with the keys to Chigiri’s car until you manage to unlock it.
He’s not running away from you again.
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As much as he wanted to break the speed limit to escape you, there was no point. You knew he was heading home so you’d find him eventually. Besides, he didn’t want to risk either of you slipping on the ice and winding up dead.
So he kept to a steady pace, enjoying the thirty minutes of peace on the drive down to the cabin before what he could only assume would be a shouting match between the two of you.
“Rin!” you yell as you get out of the car, slamming the door. It would make him laugh if he wasn’t so frustrated, you always did prove him right about things like this. He gets out of Sae’s car and slams the door, not even bothering to look at you as he walks up the stairs to the cabin.
He unlocks the door with ease before strutting in. It’s hard to keep up with his long strides, especially in the wet, slippery snow. You do what you can to speed after him, even taking the stairs two at a time so that you can get inside quicker.
You spot him in the kitchen as if nothing had happened. He’s standing by the kettle as he boils some water to make tea. He looks at you, casually, before looking back at the steam gently rising through the spout.
“You’re so childish? How didn’t I realise how fucking childish you are on top of everything?!” you shout as you walk over to the platform that separates the kitchen from the entryway. He still looks intent on keeping his mouth shut. And it’s making you crazy. “Will you say something?”
“What do you want?” he retorts, instantly. He looks at you briefly before pouring the water into a novelty Christmas mug. It’s tacky and hideous and you’re sure he hates it, but it must have been the first thing he saw to use. He leans back against the counter behind him while he uses a spoon to press the flavour from the tea bag.
“I— tell me you hate me, call me a bitch, I don’t know!” you demand. “I hate this tension, Rinnie, because every time I think things are okay, you freeze up and it’s—”
“I can’t tell if you’re… joking?” he smirks. “You, literally, broke my heart with no explanation. I’ve spent months trying to move on and then you show up out of nowhere and you’re trying to be best friends. I don’t want to be friends with you.”
“So what do you want?!”
“I want you to leave me alone.” he raises his voice, and it’s harsh. But instead of hurting you, it makes you angrier. You blood boils as you round the counter to get closer to him as he speaks. He puts down the tea he made as you get closer, using hand gestures wildly as he talks to get his point across. “You shouldn’t have come here. Because you shouldn’t have been keeping in touch with my family after we broke up. It’s such a fucking red line, it’s violating.”
“Oh, well, fuck me for wanting to know how you’re doing after everything. You know, since you completely cut me off. I was worried and you wouldn’t even text me to tell you when you were coming to get your stuff!”
“This is your problem,” he wags his finger with a smile before holding it to his lips as he thinks of how to tell you exactly how he feels. “You’re so fucking entitled. I’m being nice to you after you hurt me, and you think you deserve to know me again.”
“No, this is your problem!” you bite back, walking away from him before closing the gap again. You look up at him with watery eyes as he towers over you. Your heart aches as you feel the distance between you expand the more you talk about the past. But it has to happen. Even if you lose him forever, you can’t carry all of this pain with you forever. “You shut people out when they care! I want you to be happy and I want us to be friends, but you won’t talk to me! I broke up with you because when you were neglecting me, I felt lonelier than I did when I was actually alone.”
“I didn’t neglect you, I loved you. What was really the problem? Huh?” he asks, getting closer to you. And you have to crane your neck just to keep eye contact with him. He can’t ignore how glittery your eyes are as you hold back tears. You’re covering your sadness with rage, that much is clear to him. But he doesn’t want to stop. Not now, not when you’ve driven him to the point of no return with your incessant complaints. “I was too busy for you, yeah? You didn’t miss me, missed me taking you on fancy dates so you had something to brag about on Instagram.”
“… fuck you.” you say, quietly, your voice gets trapped in your throat as you try and figure out how to pull away from this confrontation with your dignity intact. It’s too late though. He’s already witnessed a lone tear fall down your cheek. “Do you hate me that much? Do you think that little of me?”
He doesn’t.
“Princess…” he sighs, tilting your head up with his thumb and forefinger so that you’re fixated on his eyes. Teal whirlpools with flecks of turquoise that create a scintillating visage that cannot be described by a mere mortal. No, they are deep lagoons that you want to drown in. They soften as he names you the only way you’d want to be named by him. Not your birth name, but as royalty. His princess. “I don’t think about you at all.”
Your heart shatters and he sees so clearly how your vision breaks. Should you keep looking at him or somewhere else entirely. His face is stoic, as usual, though he cups your face like you’re precious. Like you are the princess you want to believe you are, for him.
The energy in your body has depleted and you can’t even bring yourself to push him away. All you have is words. And, even then, you’re drawing a blank. So you sink, deep. Lower than the depths of hell to truly muster three little words you simply don’t mean.
“I hate you.”
He doesn’t react, not fully. But the colour of his eyes dull as the words reach his ears.
“I fucking despise you.” he retorts.
You do nought but stare.
Both of you.
You just stand there, indignantly staring into each other’s eyes as you process the situation. Your chest heaves and your body trembles with fury. You didn’t mean it, not really. In this moment, you suppose you do hate him a little. But you’ll never know if Rin means it.
Part of you assumes he’s only saying it to hurt you like you hurt him. He said what you said but increased the severity of his words just to twist the knife into your bloodied heart. But maybe he does truly feel this way. Maybe he’s felt nothing but disdain towards you since you broke up with him all of those months ago.
Why would he feel anything positive when it comes to you?
Especially since he’s moved on.
“I hate you, Rinnie…” you reiterate, lip wobbling as your tears spill more and more.
“I don’t believe you.” he says, wiping your tears with his thumbs.
You scan his face, and he doesn’t move an inch. It gives you pause for a moment as you contemplate what you’re feeling. But there are no thoughts in your brain, it’s silent. Blood pumps through you, and emotions overtake you as you lunge forward.
The distance between you is gone as you press your lips against his. He doesn’t tease you, this time. He doesn’t pull away. He kisses you back. You feel his hands explore your body, large palms settling in the slopes of your waist before they lower to your thighs.
You could never hate him.
His hands on your body make you feel whole again. He himself can barely believe how lovestruck you are in the way that you moan softly and breathe deeply from just his hands roaming your body. He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist as he deposits you on the countertop.
You lose yourself to loving squeezes and open-mouthed kisses as he grinds his hips between your spread legs, his tea long since abandoned in favour or tormenting what he knows to be your intricate, sopping flesh.
“You hate me, baby?” he asks, mumbling against your glossy, drooling lips. “S’that right? You hate me? Say it again, princess, say you hate me.”
“D— Don’t—!” you tell him, lips too eager to be smothered by his to answer him properly. You’re worried a truth might stray from your loose lips while you’re with him like this. You fight it, you really fight it. “I hate you, so much. R-Rinnie…” you tell him, and it feels honest. You’re substituting one word for another, and it feels so powerful as you lie to him with ease. He doesn’t stop, though.
If anything, everything intensifies.
“Yeah?” he asks, licking the tip of his tongue against yours tormentingly. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. “I’ll stop, then.”
“No, please,” you beg and it’s downright pathetic. Your own hips roll to meet his movements. You hump against each other pitifully, the desperation and friction being enough to leave you heady and delirious and most of all satisfied that it’s thanks to Rin Itoshi. “Don’t stop, please.” you whimper, attaching your lips to his as he continues.
Your poignant words lead him to growl against your skin. It’s so primal. So territorial as he pushes your jacket off your shoulders and down your arms. You help him in his efforts to take it off, shoving it until it slides and puddles on the ground.
“God I missed you.” you hear him mumble against your skin. Your heart beats faster as you feel him caress every inch of your body, hands resting on the swell of your tits as he thinks about what he wants to do to you.
You feel your truth being coaxed out of you with each passing second. Every ingratiating word the is meticulously embedded from his tongue and into your brain makes you desperate to tell him how you really feel and beg that he feels the same.
“Rinnie, I—”
His entire hand smothers the lower half of your face. There’s a worry in his eye as his body tenses up. And still, he can’t stop himself. He carries on humping his heavy bulge into your clothed cunt at a snail’s pace, panicked eyes turning heavy and filled with lust as he looks at how needy you are.
“Shh, baby,” he tells you, showing no signs of moving his hand.
“I can’t believe they ditched us.” you both hear a familiar voice muffled from outside. You aren’t sure why you care, but soon enough you’re both scrambling to be away from each other. You put your jacket back on after gathering it from the ground, both of you doing your best to act cool. “Here you are! What the fuck?” Tabito exclaims.
You can’t look.
Neither of you know why you’re so ashamed. So humiliated that you’d almost been caught hooking up. It’s not like it would be so scandalous, is it? You’ve made it very clear that you still have feelings for him, and yet, you don’t want anyone to know about this.
He’s the same, though, doing all he can to maintain composure.
He looks calm.
But you know him.
His eyes are blown. Full of lust and anxiety as he tries to control his breathing. No one else would notice, but you see how heavy his controlled breaths are. He gulps, scratching the back of his neck before looking around.
“I’ll get the others,” Rin tells Tabito, who can only shrug at his words.
Only Chigiri and Sae had returned with Karasu, the rest deciding to wait in the bar until someone decided to come and collect them. Tabito thought he’d have to do a return trip, not expecting Rin to spare him from repeating the journey once again. But once he has the all clear, he kicks off his shoes and sprawls on the couch.
Chigiri stares at you, and you can’t even look him in the eye for more than a second.
Why are you brimming with shame?
He almost sobers up at the sight of you. You look so vacant and dazed. It’s hard to look at him when you feel like this. Every attempt to do so, every forced little smile, only makes his concern grow. He walks towards you, but just as abruptly, he stops.
Rin walks behind you, caging your body beneath him as he traps you against the kitchen island. He doesn’t notice Chigiri staring, and he can’t look away. You turn your head a little, but not much. You’re eager to look at Rin but he levels his mouth with your ear. His breathing is laboured yet soft, and your skin pinches together as it carries through your body.
“I could never hate you, princess.” he whispers. He leaves you alone with that sentence without so much as a glance. He holds the keys to his brother’s car and heads for the exit. Chigiri watches him walk by before looking at you again. Sae looks at you both, briefly. He too is curious as to what is going on.
“That looked intense.” Hyoma speaks, finally getting close enough to have a conversation with you. You smile, and it’s feeble, but it’s all you can do as you try to think of an excuse to give him. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said about missing you. Tensions were high, after all. He has a girlfriend to think about, of course he feels ashamed. Of course, he wants to pretend this little lapse of judgement didn’t occur. “Did something happen?” your best friend asks.
“We just argued.” you lie.
You never lie to Chigiri, though you’re sure you’ll tell him once you get your bearings. You need to find out what’s going on with Rin. It’s hard to talk about something you don’t understand. You’re sure he’ll be sympathetic once you have your story straight.
You just need to talk to Rin.
You need some assurance.
You need to know where you stand.
“I think I’m gonna go to bed early.” you tell him, giving him a hug before walking away. “Happy birthday, Chigs!”
“… okay.” he looks at you, hugging you back. “I’ll try and be quiet so I don’t wake you.”
“Goodnight.” you wave, ascending the stairs and out of his line of sight.
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An early night was never an option. You knew that, and Hyoma probably knew it, too.
All you did when you got to your room was scroll through Instagram. You took some time to reply to some texts you’d received from family asking how your trip was going. You hammed it up, of course, not letting slip that Rin happened to be here too.
They all called you stupid for ending things with him.
It felt right at the time. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.
You weren’t ready to deal with re-opening that wound only to hear ‘I told you so’ repeatedly.
You heard Rin get home with the other guys, though they all stayed downstairs.
It’s all the more humiliating when you think about how desperately you want Rin to appear. You need him to come and get you, and not just to pick up where you left off.
You want answers.
Though you suppose you won’t be getting them tonight.
You spent a few hours trying on different outfits and following along with makeup tutorials from YouTube before getting bored. The raucous sounds of laughter and music got louder when you walked across the hall to take a shower and wash your face clean.
The floorboards begin to creak in the direction of the stairs when you get out.
And it scares you.
You rush across the hallway and back into your room. Your hand flies to your chest, adrenaline ravishes your heart as you lean backwards against the locked door. It makes you feel vulnerable, right now. No matter who it is, you feel scared of being seen.
Your heart stops when you hear a knock at the door.
It isn’t repeated.
Just one, singular, knock.
It makes your breathing stutter and stop abruptly. You don’t dare answer, not when you’re naked, save for the towel. It could be any one of the seven men you’re sharing the house with this week. But deep down, you know.
You know who’s on the other side of that door.
The steps retreat, and your breathing calms.
Was it him? Was that really Rin Itoshi on the other side of your door? You wait until you can barely hear the steps anymore before you unlock the barrier between you and him. When the door opens, you step out, sheepishly.
He looks at you from down the hall. Those eyes of his, full of pain and longing as he stares back at you with the same intensity you’re offering him. He doesn’t speak, but he goes into his room, so you go back into yours.
You let your towels hit the floor, crumpling up in a mess as you look for some nightwear and a hairbrush. It’s like a race against time, or at least that’s how it feels as you quickly try to brush through your sopping hair.
Every passing minute feels like it’s expanding the gulf between the two of you. So you want to hurry, it needs to be resolved now.
You barely even close the door when you walk out and jog down the hall to his room. It’s hard to be quiet when you feel such urgency to see him. You hope your footsteps aren’t too loud. And you hope nobody can hear over the music where you are and what you’re doing.
It’s all you can do.
And so, you knock, quietly, waiting for him to let you in. Too much time passes. Minutes feel like hours as you wait for him to answer. Your body feels cold, wet droplets decorate your skin and your hair drips down your spine. It feels like a mistake that you came. But why would he knock if he hadn’t wanted this to happen? Maybe he regrets this, too, as well as what happened downstairs.
It hurts to think about.
But he answers, and of your anxiety leaves you like a deflating balloon. Though you’re stilled, before him, and he doesn’t move aside. It makes your worries return as if it were a cat preparing to pounce on a rat. You widen your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. It happens again and again… and again until you realise, you’re choked up.
You can’t say a thing.
So, you don’t.
You get closer to him, still trying to say something. Anything. But nothing comes out, even when you’re close enough to feel his heartbeat. You just stare at each other in his doorway, openly exposed to anyone who may decide to ascend the stairs.
“I— I missed you too, Rinnie.”
His eyes soften at your sensitivity. The way that you have no qualms in making yourself susceptible to a painful rejection.
He lets you in, kicking the door behind himself before leaning back on it.
“You missed me, huh?” he speaks, his head droops backwards until there’s a gentle thud against the wooden door. His eyes are so heavy, his gaze is narrow. And still you can’t help but seek love and comfort from him as he looks at your with such disdain. “Are you sure you aren’t just jealous because you can’t have me?”
His words are hurtful, regardless of how valid of a question it is. It’s possible, sure, but it feels like more than that. You knew when you ended things that it was the right decision. But now it feels like a mistake, something rash you did in the heat of the moment. You didn’t give him a chance. You didn’t give either of you a chance.
And now, despite everything, you want to.
“You said you missed me…” you tell him, meekly, “I mean it, Rin. Did you mean it?”
He doesn’t say anything, he just stares. You always hated it when he did this, and it feels worse now, somehow. His eyes are terrifying and yet you can’t stop staring back at him. They’re piercing, like icicles falling from a height and impaling you without remorse.
“Rin…” you speak, closing the distance between you again. Your breath hitches as you approach, shaky hands reach out to rest on his chest, and you swallow before speaking once more. “Rinnie.”
He grabs your wrists and spins you around, pinning you against the door behind you. Your heart rate is rapid, and his isn’t much better. You’re staring again, but you bite your tongue.
Your lips meet as his crash against your own. He lifts you up, just as he had hours prior, and carries you to his bed. Your breathing is heavy, you pant furiously as you roll your hips against him in a bid to alleviate the tension that has been brewing since early evening. He drops you down on the bed, his body smothers yours as he lies on top of you.
His hips roll into your soaking core, and you can’t help but moan into his mouth.
“I meant what I said,” he tells you before silencing himself with another kiss. “Fuckin’ missed you.” he wraps his arm around your back and lifts your body further up the bed with ease, determined to get your head comfortable in the pillows.
You wince as he strips you of your pyjama bottoms and peels away your panties from your dripping cunt. It’s too dark to see you, but it’s enough. The way the moonlight bleeds through his windows turns your petalled flesh into a galaxy. Between your legs lies a constellation of the prettiest stars, and there’s nothing more that he needs.
He pulls his sweater over his head, discarding it somewhere unknown as if it means nothing. It’s true, in this moment. Nothing matters but being intimately bare with each other.
Your cunt, his cunt, is committed to memory. He could recognise how your intimate folds feel among others even if blindfolded. Because you were made for him. Of this, he’s sure. Your cunt belongs to him, and you would have done well to remember that.
“I can’t wait, princess,” he explains, and you nod in understanding.
“Please, fuck me, I can’t wait anymore. Rinnie I c—can’t.”
“Shhhh,” he whispers, freeing his cock just enough from their confines to line his length up with you. You sob when you feel his pretty tip catch against your hole. And he coos so sweetly as he teases you with that feeling. Your pretty tears are like diamonds dripping from your eyes as the blinding moonlight ignites them. “I’ve always given you whatever you want, I’m not gonna stop now.” he tells you.
It's the only warning you get before he pushes into you. He sinks slowly until you’re filled up to the brim and you’re sure you can feel him in your throat. It’s like nothing has changed. Every ridge and vein feels so familiar, you’ve never known a feeling better than you know this one. A ribald dance that only the two of you know.
His tip kisses your gooey insides in the most delectable way. Just as it always had in those ethereal nights you spent with him throughout your relationship. He holds your jaw with one hand, and it’s rough. A commanding force that’s imploring you to indulge him in this.
Give him your everything, mind body and soul. He can see how your eyes want to wander. They want to stray and abandon him just like you had months ago. But he’s doing this for you, he thinks you should understand that.
The least you owe him is your loving eyes on his.
Your love is trapped in your throat as you force it to stay there. His eyes are so beautiful and his body feels like you’re home again. You want to tell him, it’s making you cry even more. You can’t help but wonder if that’s enough, alone. If he can see the love you’re pouring into the tears you shed, will he understand what you’re so scared to convey?
He surprises you, however, as he spills himself inside of you after a few deep strokes. It snaps you away from your panicked mind as you feel warmth fill you. And that feels like love, to you.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” he tells you, stopping you from replying with a bruising kiss. “I don’t want to stop.” he pushes your little vest up your body until your tits spring free.
You moan beautifully as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, gently caressing the raised bud with his tongue. A gentle yet rough hand delicately pushes your tensing legs apart from each other, not caring in the least if his seed drips onto the sheets below. You gasp as you feel two fingers circle your sticky clit.
“Rinnie…” you whimper.
“I know.” he breaths against your damp nipple, his breath warms your skin before he sinks two heavy fingers into your needy heat. He humps his leaking, coated cock against your side as his length softens slowly. His rutting is in tandem with his fingers prodding your cum coated walls.
Your fingers run through his hair as he continues to suckle on your tits, your second-hand flies to join the first as he alternates from one nipple to the other. And he groans as you tug at his Sacramento coloured locks. The more time you’re with him like this, the more you begin to slip into old habits.
“Think I— f-fuck… Rin.” you mutter, moving your hand to grip the sheets below as he brings you to a tantalizing edge.
“Go on, princess,” he whispers into your pretty skin. “Show me how much you miss me.”
The coil snaps at his silver tongue and salacious language. He never had to try hard to convince you to submit to his commands in the past. Always so eager to please and starved for his touch. You could never get enough of him, and you’ve never been like that with a man before. He makes you greedy, and impatient.
So when he says jump, you show him how high you’re prepared to go for him.
He makes you look at him as you orgasm. Teal eyes, still somehow so radiant even in darkness, hold a neediness you haven’t seen in a long time. You cum, hard, dousing his fingers in your juices as he carries on finger fucking his cum deeper into your insides. And you feel him kiss you. It’s sloppy and pornographic as you swap spit and still moan into his mouth as he drags and pulls every trace of your orgasm from you.
You pant, relaxing your body as the tryst comes to a satisfying end.
“That was amaz—”
“I told you, I’m not ready to stop yet.” he tells you.
He sensually kisses and sucks your neck, though you’re certain it isn’t hard enough to stake his claim on you. He wouldn’t need to, anyway. You both know who you belong to, after all. You watch him as he leaves a trail of kisses down your body. His lips pepper across your collarbone before kissing between the fat of your breasts.
His shushing hits your ears as his mouth comes close to your pussy. His breath fans across your sex, and you feel just how weighty each breath is as he admires your glistening folds as if for the first time.
He gently moves one of your legs to rest over his shoulder, while he pushes the other one into your chest.
His tongue darts out, caressing your exposed clit as he keeps your legs far from each other. Your head falls back into the pillows as the angle makes you delirious. He looks up to see your facial expressions, smirking into your heat when he notices how much you’re enjoying him.
“Rinnie—” you moan, though you’re ultimately ignored. “Rin. Please!” you cry, begging for a bit of reprieve.
“You know what I want.” he tells you, quietly.
You don’t know, not until he frees your leg and sinks his fingers into your heat again. And they curl. It’s devilish and titillating and you just about scream from the feeling. You don’t tell him to stop, though. You wouldn’t dream of it. His arm wraps firmly around your thigh and keeps you fixed in place as you try to flee. But you’re trapped, fated to fall from a height until he’s satisfied.
“Let me see it,” he whispers. Your moans become strident as he digs and teases your spongy interior, searching for what’s rightfully his. He’s there. He’s right there. His jaw hangs low as your toes curl violently, and you make a sloppy mess as you cum perversely. “Goooood girl, good fucking girl. That’s how I like to see my pretty baby cum, jus’ like that.” he grins before slurping up your orgasm. Your pussy gushes like a fountain for him, and it’s everything he’s wanted and needed for months now.
He doesn’t care about getting a little wet.
He couldn’t care less that the front of his hair is almost as soaking as yours.
You hadn’t noticed while you were experiencing the bliss that is Rin Itoshi’s tongue, but he’s been rutting his length pathetically into the mattress as he devours your essence. Each lewd slurp and divine suckle, he’d been grinding his aching cock into the plush mattress below you both.
And he still is.
Pearly pre drools from his slit as he carries on, though he isn’t sure he can stop. But when your cunt stops twitching, he finds the will to proceed. He rests his hands on both of your knees as you put your legs together, waiting to see what he wants to do with you next.
He rakes his fingers through his damp locks, and your cunt flutters at the sight of him pushing his hair back. It flops back into place as he comes down to kiss you again. You wrap your arms around his back, and he moves your body with his until you’re straddling him.
“Rin, I—”
He doesn’t let you finish as he kisses you. His cock is standing to attention for you again, and he needs to be buried inside. You feel him line his length up, and he covers your mouth with his hand as you attempt to screech out in paradisical bliss as he fills you again.
“Let me do the work,” he tells you, and you nod. “But put your hand here,” he requests, grabbing your wrist until your hand envelops his neck.
You’re worried about falling backwards as he sits with you on top on the edge of his bed. But your safety doesn’t come into question as his fingers sink into your hips to keep you secure. You cry, whimper, and whine as you feel him fuck up into you.
He rewards you with harder and deeper strokes when you softly squeeze the sides of his neck, cock twitching pathetically as he realises how enamoured he is with you still.
“You’re so fucking perfect for me.” he tells you, eyes rolling back until they turn white. The gentle squeeze of your little fingers will always be his undoing.
“Rinnie I—”
“D-Don’t.” he requests, hips stuttering as the thought of you saying what he thinks you’re about to makes him spiral. His heart rate reaches heights he wasn’t sure was possible as he hopes you aren’t about to ruin this. Ruin whatever this even is.
“I love you.” you cry, “I love you s-so much.”
“Fuck,” he pants, slowing ever so slightly so he doesn’t cum before you get to again. He tucks your hair behind your ear. His hips roll and his defined body perfectly stimulates your throbbing clit. “I love you.” he confesses, quietly, kissing you sweetly after the fact.
“Nngh, fuck—!” you wince, your walls tighten around him as you start to feel yourself coming undone once again. So he fucks into you, hard, eager to help you along. “’m cumming, aah!”
You can only assume how red and sweaty his face is as he fucks into you with a passion and vigour you’ve never felt from him before. He has an unyielding need to please and remind you how much he had loved you with every deep, unrelenting stroke.
You cum with him.
And it’s transcendent.
“Did you mean it, princess?” he asks, heavy breaths huffing across your dewy skin. “Do you love me?”
“… Yes, Rinnie—” you pause. “I still love you…”
He kisses your shoulder as he wraps his arms around your torso and holds you close. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was worried to let you go. He lies back and keeps you pressed firmly against him. He plays with your hair as you rest on him. Contentment seems to fill the room as you do nothing but lie like this together. There isn’t a sound other than exhausted breaths and beating hearts.
“I should shower and change the sheets.” he muses into your hair; it only causes you to snuggle further into him. “You should shower with me.”
“I’d like that.” you smile, giddy over the idea of seeing him under artificial lighting and witnessing how his expressions really change when he’s with you intimately.
There’s a niggling feeling, though. That everything is too good to be true. You’re sure this is real, but you have a fleeting thought of being asleep in your bedroom after saying you’d go to bed early. His heart beating against your cheek feels real, though. So does his bare flesh and gentle touch.
Everything is too perfect, though.
You wonder when the bubble will burst.
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© 2023 rinhaler
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mygnolia · 4 months ago
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get better! | 6. join stream 4 special guest
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SMAU! synopsis -› in which your neighbor and popular twitch streamer park sunghoon breaks his arm, so he switches to vlog style content that matches up with yours! now everyone’s curious why 1) you have a cute boy in your apartment, 2) sunghoon’s not on his grind anymore, and 3) when are you two going to date!?
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[1.9K WC] To be neighbors in the same apartment complex is a blessing- especially when all of your friends are across town. When you knock on Sunghoon’s door, it’s followed by a loud sound akin to a crash (is sunghoon okay???), before Sunghoon opens the door running a hand through his hair, feeling nervous.
“Hi.” He chokes out. “Come in.” You glance at his cast to make sure he’s okay, and despite his tweet from earlier where he took it off, it looks fine.
“Hi..? You..okay?” and the boy in question gives you a tight lipped smile. Was he…nervous?
You take in his apartment- it’s minimalistic in the best way, with succulents on the windows and polaroids of him and his friends hanging near the TV. While much of the furniture is white, it looks clean, and you’re glad that Sunghoon really does take care of his space. Twitch must pay him well (or used to) to have an apartment this nice.
He ushers you to his gaming room, where you see his extensive set-up. With monitors, cameras, headphones, and a glowing keyboard, you’re enamored by the way he’s gotten everything set-up all without his wires being tangled.
“I’m live- but I’m muted.” He starts, and his camera records him saying something, but the live audience on the other side is curious as to who he’s talking to since you were out of frame.
“Wait, I need a chair, right?” And it makes Sunghoon pause his one handed typing on the keyboard, mumbling a quiet ‘oh,’ before he stands back up.
“Here. Sit.” Sunghoon pushes you slightly to the gaming chair before your can protest, his movement awkward and robotic as he makes you sit down. The thought of Sunghoon being as nervous as you makes you smile, before you remember who you’re in front of.
‘IS THAT HIS GF’ ‘omg with yn rent free’ ‘YNNN I LOVE UR VIDS’ ‘bro they’re LITERALLY DATING’
When your eyes scan the messages, you call for Sunghoon to come back, who’s barely passed the door. “Let me unmute and introduce myself.” You suggest. And the streamer finds his palm becoming even more sweaty as he clicks a few buttons to turn the mic on. You watch him intently, and send him a warm smile as your thanks.
“Hi guys.” you wave at the camera before giving him the green light to get the chair that you need.
‘omg she’s so pretty’ ‘who is this wtf’ ‘where’s hoon lol’ ‘HIII YNNNNN’
A smile makes it’s way on your face with the last message. “My name is ____, and Sunghoon’s invited me over. Did he say anything to you guys?”
‘stream is called join live 4 special guest’ ‘nooo he never said anything’ ‘are you two tgt or what’
“We’re not together.” You confirm with a nervous smile, afraid of what would happen if his diehard fans found out about his relationship. “He’s just here to teach me bedwars.” The chat gets even faster- if it’s even possible. Questions and theories about your friendship with Sunghoon continue to pop up. “But don’t leave!” You say after you see some disinterest. “You guys should totally learn with me. Is there anyone who also doesn’t know how to play? Just..” You try to find the right words. “Think of Sunghoon as like, your boyfriend who’s teaching you bedwars.”
‘are he the one you keep tweeting about’ ‘YN IS HERE WOAHH’ ‘no yn you’re the gf he’s teaching’ ’so endgame couple!!’
The scraping of the chair as your neighbor tries to bring it in with one hand is funny to listen to outside of the door, and you giggle when you hear him curse, leaning out of frame to see if he’s okay or if he needs help.
“I heard that.” Sunghoon says when he’s in your range of vision, and it catches on the mic. With the way his viewers see your face light up now that he’s here, they automatically assume you two really have something going on. You’re only relieved to have him take over, no longer having to see some of the negative messages that fly by. At least on YouTube, you could ignore it all. Here? it’s all live, and you see it all.
Sunghoon sets up the chair and makes sure you’re comfortable before assuming his spot.
“What’s up bae-bees?” And you fight yet another smile at that stupid name. “This is Y/N. Makes vlog content but I think my gameplay is much more fun to watch. And by the way, check out our Q n A on her channel.” He glances over to you, and now that you’re properly able to look at him, you see the makeup that he had on for the photoshoot; and you can’t just not admit that Sunghoon is cute with his blush across the nose and freckles. You saw the after photoshoot post from him, too.
‘wait so dating rumors..???’ ‘DATING OR SIBLINGS’
“Are you two dating? Absolutely not.” He sends you a teasing grin, one that makes you swat at his shoulder with an indignant look- yeah, you’re not beating these dating allegations.
“Wow, you hate me? We spend like, 7 hours together the other day, and then you texted me saying you were outside- I thought we were friends!” And Sunghoon feels a flood of panic pass through him. Yes- he knows exactly what you mean. But his chat? his friends? Everyone who has just heard you speak? They have zero idea without context.
You’re not use to phrasing things as a streamer, and in an effort to calm his faster than light chat, Sunghoon stammers, “Yeah, we were cleaning so much of your new place. And those texts were all jokes- I’d never do that to a friend.”
Nodding in agreement without understanding the commotion you’ve caused, you try to read more of the chat.
‘pick me’ ‘ur too cute for her’ ‘she’s so cringe’
When Sunghoon sees the same things you do, his expression hardens, suddenly feeling upset. He was worried that this would happen. “Just because ____ isn’t in the gaming space or a streamer doesn’t mean you guys have the right to be mean to her. She puts in just as much effort into her videos and marketing her channel as much as I do for my gameplays. Please be nice, or I won’t be as willing to do special streams in the future.”
With appreciation, you pat his wrist, which is out of frame. You’re not really sure how to defend yourself against such baseless accusations, and considering Sunghoon’s not even your boyfriend, they have a reason to be so much more toxic and rude towards you without him defending you the way a boyfriend would.
“Maybe I should leave-“ You whisper to only him, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
Sunghoon shakes his head. “No, let me return the favor- plus, you wanted to learn bedwars. I’ll teach you the ropes.” His reassuring words make you feel more inclined to stay, not feeling as negative and embarrassed as before. He returns his attention to the chat after uncovering his mic, seeing some of his friends have seen the special title for today’s stream and joined.
“Hi Riki, Hee, Jay. Where’s Jake?” You peer over to see their verified badges with special colors appear, and Sunghoon reads their comments out loud. “Okay- enough of that. I’ll be teaching her how to play, now, so I might not be checking chat. As always, please be nice, and seeing as all my friends are in chat, there are even more mods available to ban you guys.” His voice is stern, but you can tell how much Sunghoon hates being mean to his fans.
simjake: ‘hi y/n please kick his ass so he’ll stfu.’
Sunghoon catches he quicker than you do, reading it with widened eyes. “Please kick his ass so he’ll shut the fuck up? Dude, If we’re on fortnite tonight, you’re last choice for squads.”
“But you can’t even play, Sunghoon.” You point out, and he frowns- trying his best to pretend that a kid on a bike wasn’t the whole reason he’s going bankrupt.
“I’m learning how to use it with the cast.”
“Don’t doctors tell you to literally not use it so it heals faster?” And he shrugs. Sunghoon’s arm really isn’t healing anytime soon, even if he swears it is.
“Well- anyways.” He uses his good arm to pull up the running tab for Minecraft, his avatar already in an empty lobby for you to practice. “Y/N is going to learn bedwars!”
Your face falls, and you look over to Sunghoon in horror. “I thought we were going to learn first. Without the stream.
He shakes his head with a half shrug, and moves his mouse around to make sure it’s still working like how he needs it to. “I think chat will find it funny to watch.”
You straighten up with determination and tell him to scoot over so you can place your hands on and familiarize yourself with the keyboard.
“Try the spacebar,” Sunghoon says with pride, and you laugh at how nerdy it sounds coming from him. After clicking the key a few times, and experimentally typing in the MInecraft chat, he begins to explain how to play, and you do your best to listen to him as he instructs you. “You know how to play, yes?” And your slight experience whenever you come to play on Sunoo’s set-up comes in handy for basic things like managing the game controls.
His 20k viewers all noticed a few things that neither of you picked up- both too engrossed in learning how to bridge without falling off, but also trying to fight and defend from other players.
They noticed how you liked to poke fun at Sunghoon sometimes- similar to your Youtube video where you’d make small but funny digs, and Sunghoon would go along with it. Everyone noticed how he was gently reassuring you with a hand on your shoulder or his fingers intertwining with yours when you stood up in frustration to pull it back to the mouse. Sunghoon here wasn’t the same flirty streamer who read his chat, called people his wife, or yelled at his friends (all in good fun!) when they lost match point; he was doting, and calm, with eye-crinkling smiles and praises everytime you bridged enough blocks to the other side. And after a bit more than an hour, you became tired of falling off the cliff from dynamite, or running out of golden apples to eat when you were running away- all to Sunghoon’s amusement.
You bid farewell to his chat, who all had fun watching you get excited while playing. For the gamers who watched Sunghoon’s channel, you le gameplay and reactions reminded them of the excitement it felt to play for the first time, and the problems they used to encounter trying to get better.
Sunghoon returns, with his chin resting on his good hand was he lazily reads chat. “He’s so in love.” He reads, scoffing. “Absolutely not, me and her are just friends. I’d do it for anyone.”
‘he’s so whipped’ simjake: ‘simphoon’ ‘someone get this man a gf’ heeonmic: ‘SIMPHOON BYEEE’
For the rest of his live, Sunghoon practices playing, blaming you offhandedly for cursing his keyboard and it was the reason why he was doing so bad. “Stop bothering ____ with us dating. Honestly she probably doesn’t even want a boyfriend.”
And how he was wrong.
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prev. | ml. | next.
REN SAYS... i am my own writer. yes, i included sunghoon's selfie with biceps even though technically it wasn't needed because my brain needs it to be canon...
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TAGLIST OPEN! Send an ask to be added! @riksaes @sumzysworld @en-dream @yeonjunning @eleanorheartschishiya @noobgod1269 @yvjw @jiawji @soothinglee @chaeyunloveeee @winuvs @xiaoderrrr r @cupidhoons @cryingforgyu @soakedteabags @tsukkisdoll @rickysgfundercover @graythecoffeebean @velvetkisscsss s @haechansbbg @hooniebaekgu @theothernads @illvding @dojaejunging @mumeimei @hanrinz @jlheon @i03jae @jisungstuff @totheseok @jinnibug @nodiotter @nenojaems @jakeyloveee @lyxnneee @ahnneyong @tocupid @jakeyverse @chokichips @mintpjzroll @kixri
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luvvictoria · 21 days ago
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The Illness of Us
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( ♡ ) pairing : Sukuna Ryomen x significant other!reader
( ♡ ) warning : no gender reader, NOT PROOF READ , kinda cringe, human reader, Heian era Sukuna, age gap , idk bro
( ♡ ) a/n ✏️ : BASSED OFF A ROMANIAN SONG I CRIED ON.
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The rain was falling hard, but you barely noticed it anymore. It was just another storm, just another distraction from the silence that had settled between the two of you. You sat on the cold floor of the empty temple where you often found him — alone, brooding, but always watching.
Sukuna stood across from you, his gaze fixed on something you couldn’t see. He was always like this — distant, even when you were right there next to him. His silence had a weight that pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.
And maybe that was the problem.
He had always been a curse — something twisted and dark that you couldn’t stay away from, no matter how much you tried. He had drawn you in like a moth to flame, and you had burned for him. You still did.
But now… now it felt like the fire was slowly dying.
“Și boala lor era că nu se potriveau…” (and their illness was that they weren’t right for each other)
The illness of your love was that you were never meant for each other. Sukuna was chaos incarnate, a god of destruction who thrived on pain and violence. And you — you were human, fragile in comparison. The two of you had clashed from the very beginning, your love and arguments interwoven into a cycle of hurt and passion, never finding a balance.
“We don’t fit together,” he said, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. He didn’t look at you, but his words hit you harder than anything else ever had.
Your heart clenched painfully. You had heard these words before, but this time, they felt final.
“I don’t care,” you whispered, though your voice shook. “I don’t care if we don’t fit. I still—”
“Still what?” he snapped, finally turning to face you, his eyes dark and filled with something you couldn’t name. Anger? Pain? It was always so hard to tell with him. “Still love me?”
The silence that followed was deafening.
You did. You always had.
But that wasn’t enough, and deep down, you knew that. Sukuna was like a poison that had seeped into your veins, corrupting everything good, everything safe. And yet, even now, you couldn’t let him go. No matter how many times he pushed you away, no matter how many times you fought, you always came back to him.
And he let you. He always let you.
“Și se certau și se iubeau…” (and they argued and they loved each other)
You and Sukuna had never had peace. Every moment of tenderness between you was followed by arguments, by rage. He would kiss you like he was devouring you, pulling you close as if you were the only thing in the world that mattered — only to push you away moments later, his words cutting like knives, reminding you that you were human, mortal, something beneath him.
And yet, despite it all, despite the fire and the fury, there were moments — small, fleeting moments — where it felt like you truly saw him. Not the King of Curses, but the man behind the curse. A man who could love, who could feel, even if he would never admit it.
But those moments never lasted. They couldn’t.
“You need to leave,” Sukuna said, his voice softer now, but no less firm. He stepped closer, towering over you, his eyes never leaving yours. “You need to walk away from this.”
You shook your head, tears burning behind your eyes. “I can’t. I won’t.”
His hand reached out, brushing against your cheek in a rare moment of gentleness. His touch was cold, but it was still Sukuna — still the man you had given everything for.
“You’re a fool,” he whispered, though there was no venom in his words this time. “You’re a fool to love me.”
“I know,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I do. I always will.”
His expression tightened, something unreadable passing across his face. There was a part of him, buried deep beneath centuries of cruelty, that wanted to love you the way you deserved. But he couldn’t. He never could.
“I don’t deserve you,” Sukuna murmured, his hand falling away from your face. “You’ll only get hurt if you stay.”
He had never said anything like this before. Sukuna had always been proud, never admitting weakness, never admitting that there was anything wrong with the way he was. But now, as he stood in front of you, it was as if the weight of everything — the battles, the blood, the destruction — was finally pressing down on him.
“Then why don’t you let me go?” you asked, your voice breaking.
For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, in a voice so low you almost didn’t hear him, he whispered, “Because I can’t.”
“Se iubeau, dar nu se potriveau.” (they loved each other but weren’t right for each other)
That was the truth of it. He loved you, in his own twisted way, but it would never be enough. He would never change. You would always clash, always fight, always fall apart only to come back together again, trapped in a cycle that neither of you could escape from.
Sukuna’s eyes softened, just for a moment, as he took a step back. “I want you to move on,” he said, his voice strained. “I want you to live without me.”
You opened your mouth to argue, to tell him that you didn’t care, that you would rather be with him, broken as it was, than live without him. But the words died in your throat as you saw the pain in his eyes — the real, raw pain that he never let anyone see.
“I’ll only ruin you,” he continued, his gaze hardening. “You deserve more than this.”
You wanted to scream at him, to tell him that you didn’t care. But deep down, you knew he was right. You had always known. This was a love that would destroy you in the end.
But how could you leave him, when every part of you still loved him?
Sukuna turned away from you, his form dissolving into the shadows as the storm outside raged on. He didn’t say goodbye — he never did. But this time, something told you it was different.
This time, he was letting you go.
And as the rain pounded against the temple walls, you realized with a heavy heart that he had never been the one keeping you trapped.
It had always been you.
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monodreamin · 11 months ago
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Rated: M (18+)
Genre: smut, fluff, one shot
Synopsis: after a bad break up you meet a handsome man in a dog park.  
Warnings: one ass smack, protected sex, cute nicknames and penetrative sex. 
Words: 3,049
Author’s note: I wanted to write something more soft and with autumn vibes. I just haven’t written in so long and wanted to put this out before winter. I mean it hasn’t snowed for me yet so I don't count it as winter yet lmao.
It was a cold crisp early autumn morning and you were walking your dog Jax, a Shiba Inu breed. Your ex boyfriend got you while on a trip to Japan. Your ex boyfriend left you with the dog he was yours anyway. The break up was a nasty one with your ex boyfriend. Ever made time with you he was either busy with work or hanging out with his loser friends you disliked so much.
Things weren’t always like this you once both loved each other very much after dating for 2 years decided to love in and build a life together you always wanted a dog so on a business trip to Japan your boyfriend got you Jax for your birthday you cried holding the small puppy in your arms the best birthday gift ever. 
Let’s be real, you felt like shit your boyfriend came over last night to pick up his stuff. He was moving in with his best friend, the one you hated because he was so far up your boyfriend’s ass honestly he should have dated him instead. 
When you and your ex boyfriend would get into heated fights  and he was anywhere nearby he was always picking a side and it was always his best friends of course even when he couldn’t be anymore wrong that was the bro code shit these men spoke of because it just didn’t make any sense to you. 
You were holding Jax's red leash as you entered the dog park. You could hear the fall leaves underneath your shoes crunch as you walked on the leaves that have fallen from the trees. 
You had a hand holding a hot coffee while the other held your dog’s leash tightly when suddenly a small black dog a mini pinscher breed it  jumped on top of your dog and it scared you a bit not knowing if they were playing or not you were paying to much attention to the two dogs in front of you that your hot coffee spilled all over your jeans. 
“FUCK” you yelled out feeling the coffeee seep through your pants burning your thigh. “I’m so sorry, is everything ok?” You heard a deep Aussie accent and as you looked up you saw the most beautiful man you ever came across. 
“Let me help you, I'm so sorry about that.” He rushed over with a stack of napkins handing them to you. You pressed the napkins to your thigh on the wet spot but your eyes never left his. 
“Lori come here” he lifted the dog up in his arms. Something about a man with a dog since your ex boyfriend wasn’t a dog person he just got you the dog because he thought it would keep you company and leave him be with his friends. 
“It’s ok I just got burned a bit by the coffee but I’ll be ok.” He opened his mouth in a gasp. 
“That is not ok let me make it up to you  I’ll get you a coffee. I’ll also get Lori here a new leash here since hers snapped. 
You watched the man be all lovey woth hos dog and it warned your heart instantly. “I can come with you if you don’t mind Jax here needs a new bowl.”
“Really? Well then let’s head over there now if you don’t mind” 
“So I know your dog’s name Lori and you know my dog Jax bit that is your name? My name is YN by the way.”
“My name is Christian I usually don’t let my dog loose I’m a responsible pet owner I promise but her leash unexpectedly broke and well she’s a playful dog and so when she saw the only other dog at the dog park she got a bit excited.”
“I see that it’s ok really.” You self consciously put a strand of your hair over your ear. 
“Well I’m a bit glad things happened the way they did I mean minus the hot coffee spilling on you.”
“So to the pet store then to the cafe to get my coffee? You owe me.” You joked.
“I’m a man of my word YN.” The both of you walked out the dog park making your way to the pet store. 
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Christian looked through the dog leashes and decided on a black one you could see him testing out its strength. 
“I’m sure you’re good with that one.” You teased walking toward another aisle full of all types of pet bowls they had: stainless steel, ceramic, plastic, double bowls, elevated dog bowls the list went on and on.  
“Having a hard time picking one?” It was now Christian’s turn to tease you. 
“Well it’s much harder than picking from leashes I’ll tell you that.” 
“Ppft I digress.” Christian picked up a stainless steel double bowl and walked to the counter. 
You followed behind him “you needed a bowl too?”
“No, since I saw you having a difficult time I picked one.”
“That was nice of you thanks.” 
You both walk out and this time Lori is on her leash. Christian is still holding the brown paper bag with the bowl in it. 
“So the next stop is the cafe?” 
“Yes the cafe it is but let’s do outdoor seating since we have the dogs with us.”
“I mean that makes a lot of sense to me.” Christian smiles. 
The both of you walk two blocks down from the pet store and there is the cafe.
“Two… or should I say an outdoor table for four since we have our furry friends.” Christian says and we are seated by an older woman outside. 
“Are you ready to order?” The cute older lady says. 
“One iced americano and….” He looks at you for your order. 
“Hot coffee light and sweet three sugars please.” 
“Ok and I’ll bring some treats for the furry friends too.” The lady leaves. 
“She’s nice.” You say. 
“I feel like dog people are usually nice people.” Christian looks under the table at the two dogs who are lying peacefully on the ground. 
“I think we tired them out today.” Christians head pops back up from underneath the table. 
“I mean we walked everywhere maybe that’s why.”
“So tell me about yourself, where do you work? Do you have a boyfriend?” 
“ I work in marketing and no I don't. I had one but not anymore. You?” 
“ I work in the arts so painting and sculptures mostly. I don’t have a girlfriend I haven’t in a year.” 
“Oh that sounds so cool and why not? You’re very good looking and with that accent I’m sure you have no problems.” 
 Christian laughs when the older lady returns this time with a tray and two drinks she places the drinks on the table and gives the dogs treats. 
“Enjoy the drinks, anything else I can get you?” 
“No, we're done for now thank you so much .” You say. You both are sipping from your hot drinks. 
“When you truly love someone and have your heart broken it takes time to heal.” Christian continues the conversation. 
“I get it well I just got out of a serious relationship “
The both of you continue to talk about life and other things. You looked at your phone and you have been at the cafe for an hour now. 
“I should get going now, you know shower from the coffee that spilled on me earlier.”
“Let’s exchange phone numbers.” So the both of you did and you were on your way “I’ll walk you home if you don’t mind” Christian still held on to the paper bag he was such a gentleman. 
You and Christian walk along with your dogs. “Ok well this is me right here thank you for walking with me.” You say as you stand in front of your apartment building. 
“Let’s stay in touch.” He simply says and with that Lori  leads the way. You watch him for a bit then head upstairs to your apartment with Jax. 
When you reach your apartment you use the key to open your door to your surprise you see your ex boyfriend on the couch. 
“What are you doing here?” You were highly annoyed by his presence. 
“I got the last of my stuff and to return the key.” 
“Ok well thanks I won’t live here long anyway.” 
“Why not? And where were you?” Why did he care about you and what you were doing? He just needed to be on his way. 
Jax stood in front of you very protectively. 
“What does it matter to you? We aren’t even dating anymore.” 
“Are you seeing someone else?”
“You have no right to ask me that it’s none of your business.” You raised your voice and Jax started to bark at him. 
How dare this man be back at your apartment without a heads up and he had the nerve to be jealous when you broke up with him 2 weeks ago. 
“If you aren’t seeing someone it would be a simple question to answer but you can’t because you’re with someone else already I know it just tell me.” 
“You are sick and twisted, you know that? It is none of your concern what I do, who I say or who I don’t see now, get out of my apartment right now.” 
Jax barks got louder and your ex boyfriend got up from the couch throwing the key over your head. What a dick and he just reassured you that breaking up with him was the right thing to do. You wouldn’t ever go back to that. 
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A month has passed since your break with your ex boyfriend and you had been texting Christian daily. It was cute flirty texts and getting to know each other better. Mostly you haven’t seen each other since the cafe date your break up felt so fresh you couldn’t move on just yet. 
You have been looking for new apartments because you thought moving from this old space you shared with your ex boyfriend would help in the moving on process. You reached out to a few realtors on some properties and waited for them to contact you for a viewing. 
You were getting ready for bed when Christian texted you again. You smiled as you read his text. He couldn't wait to see you tomorrow you replied and put your phone on the nightstand smiling to yourself you couldn’t wait to spend time with him again soon. 
You went to sleep and were awakened in the morning by your alarm clock. You hit the stop button getting up from your bed and you start to get ready for work where you will be counting down the minutes for when you’ll see Christian again. The day hasn’t even begun and you knew you would be dreading it. 
You finished your work for the day but acted as if you were busy with someone before you were given an extra task you didn’t want not today you had plans and you were excited for those plans you kept looking at the time hoping it would pass faster. 
It was 5:30 PM and you were clocking out. You had to rush to the train to get home to shower and get dressed for your… well not date you didn’t know what it was you and Christian haven’t discussed that yet and you both were just enjoying each other's company. Sometimes you would make out but before it got too intense, always stop yourself. You weren’t fully healed from your breakup and it didn’t feel right to have sex with another man in the apartment you once shared. 
Lucky you the train pulled up on the platform as soon as you finished climbing the stairs. You got on the train and saw a seat so you sat down. Today was your lucky day. Indeed, you checked your phone to see Christian had sent you a photo of him at his art studio. The man was gorgeous. He was so focused on his sculpture donning black frames to get a better look of his work. 
You almost missed your stop because you were  too enthralled with the photo. You grabbed your purse and rushed out before the doors could close. You had 3 blocks to walk before you were home to get ready and you were speed walking. You had a lot to do and you didn’t want to keep him waiting. You reach your building and let out a sigh of relief time to get pretty, you thought to yourself. You laid your clothes on the bed and stepped in the shower. You knew exactly what makeup and hair style you wanted. You got out the shower in your towel and started to prepare for… whatever this is. 
You took one last look at yourself in the mirror making sure everything was looking right then headed quickly out the door. You met up with Christian at the bowling alley and then after had sushi for dinner. You weren’t talkative and Christian seem to pick up on it. 
“Is everything alright?” He asked, popping some sushi into his mouth. 
“I’m sorry I’m so quiet, I'm just in my mind too much.”
“We’ll talk to me, what's on your mind right now darling?” 
Your heart thumped harder at the nickname. 
“Well…” you blushed, picking at your California roll with the chopsticks.
“Are you not into the date?”
There it goes he said it a date this is a date all your worries and headache went away with one simple word date you smiled 
“No, I love it and thanks for the date.” You drank the rest of the sake and started to eat and become more engaged with Christian now that he put your worries at ease. 
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The date was done and you both had a great time and decided to head back to your place. Jax eagerly greeted Christian since they have become very much acquainted. 
“Hey Jax, did you miss Y/N? I’m sorry I kept her from you but she’s here now.” 
Jax jumped on your lap and you started to scratch his head. The both of you sat on the couch talking and taking turns petting Jax.  After a while Jax was asleep and you put him on the couch next to you. 
“I bet Lori misses you too.”
“My mom is taking care of her now.”
“Really why?”
“I’m leaving this weekend I have an art show. I was wondering if you would like to attend with me?”
“Of course I’m sure my mom won’t mind dog sitting for me.”
Christian leaned over kissing you unexpectedly but you reacted by kissing him back. The both of you were all each other on the sofa. 
“Let’s take this to my bedroom.” You said leading the way. The both of you went straight to the bed clothes were being removed and thrown on the floor. 
The both of you were naked and you laid in the middle of the bed Christian’s hands caressing your body. Something caught Christian’s eyes on your nightstand and you quickly knew what it was your vibrator that you had used earlier in the day you forgot to put it away. 
“Oh babe I see you were having fun without me.” He grabbed the vibrator turning it on. 
“I think I’ll have more fun with you now.”  You spread your legs giving him access to you. Christian smirked as he pressed the vibrator over your clit. 
“Is that ok?” He moved the vibrator in a circular motion. 
“Put it higher.” You bit your lip watching him work the vibrator on you. 
“I think you need more than a vibrator.” He said and you looked down at him and saw his erected cock. 
“You’re right about that I’m tired of my hands and vibrator.” 
“Well I can be of some assistance to you.” Christian got his pants from the floor and went in his pants pockets pulling out a condom. 
“I know you can.” You watched as he put the condom on then picked up the vibrator again placing it back on your clit this time with higher speed. 
You moaned at the high speed vibrating perfectly against your clit. Soon after Christian entered you slowly as he kept the vibrator pressed against you , the sensation of him in you stretching his walls and the vibrator would have you cumming in no time. 
“That feels so good Christian oh my God.” You threw your head back moaning louder. Christian picked up the pace, his hips slamming against yours as he put the vibrator on the highest speed. 
Your body felt like an explosion of sensation, a wave of relaxation and peace taking over your entire body shortly after. You couldn’t believe how quickly you orgasmed . I mean he was hot and extremely talented in bed. You have been deprived by a man for so long your body responded quickly to his. 
“Darling I know you didn’t cum that quick did you?” A very cocky grin played on his lips. 
“I’m I’m I’m so sorry I…. I…” you sounded like a broken toy repeated itself. 
“Oh no it’s ok I’m not done with you just yet babe. Now lay face down for me.” You did as you were told and he smacked your ass. Your legs were straight and hips slightly raised off the bed. Christian entered you from behind. He felt bigger than before in this position. 
Christian stroked deeper in you as he nibbled on your ear then softly bit your shoulder and proceeded to your neck. 
The passion filled through your veins as his pace quickened. Your pussy pulsating in his cock adding even more pleasure you both were close to reaching your high. 
“Fuck I need to get on the pill again so you can fuck me raw.” You looked back at him as you both reached your climax and he pulled the condom out tying it up and threw it in the trash can. 
“Well luckily you are my girlfriend now and  we have a lot more time to do more of that on our trip.”  He grabbed your face kissing your lips and you both cuddled on the bed. 
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mykoreanlove · 9 months ago
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Jackson on Kinjaz
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Your phone was blowing up constantly.
„Oh my god, did you see this?????“, your friend asked.
With shaking hands you clicked on the link.
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„I used to be critical on myself in my mind in a negative way. Not healthy. At all. I would call myself names and put myself down in my mind. I drank the most disgusting shakes for my body health but up here? I was rotting.“
„Yeah, yeah. I remember videos of that nasty shake. What did you put in there - chicken?“
„Gotta get my protein, man. But you know I would constantly feel guilty for what I have done or what I might do.“
„Like what?“
„Like. Okay, like did I practice enough? Is magic man good enough? What if I let everybody down? How will I cope? How will I live?
All these voices.. these fucking nagging voices were with me 24/7.“
„Damn that sounds tough. What did you do?“
„I thought it was impossible to fix because I tried so hard and nothing changed me. Or if it did, it would only last a couple of weeks and I’d be back to feeling like shit and talking down on myself.
Jackson, you moron, how could you do this? Did you really think you could make it? You don’t deserve this success. You don’t deserve to be happy.“
„Jackson, bro. I feel for you. Really.“
„Look, I’m just being honest. I would naturally think of punishments coming my way. I’d imagine injuring myself or loosing all my fans or money. I’d think of the most horrific shit late at night when I should be peacefully sleeping.
I would try to change my thoughts to change my feeling. I would rationalize my way out for hours to only find myself entering a new cave.“
„Like a merry go round.“
„Exactly, I was stuck. Same shit, different day. My gut always had this underlying feeling of tension.
I tried my best to give myself relief but like I said, I could not find Relief for longer than a week. Maybe a month at best.“
„Is that why you turned to alcohol? Because I remember you chugging down a bottle of Hennessy and thought to myself that’s not normal.“
„Oh, of course I started drinking more. I needed more. What used to make me pass out back then is like a cute little cocktail to me now.“
„Damn, that really is a lot to handle. Did you try other things, as well?“
„Look, I tried everything in the book. You name it, I tried it. Worked out. Meditated. Drank. Had sex. Nothing could give me what I craved so badly. Nothing. Until I found her.“
You swallowed hard.
You had no idea that he would share all this with the public. You were very well aware of his struggles but hearing him talk about them upset you. It broke your heart imagining him like that, all dim and broken.
Also, it made you nervous.
You had no idea that he would introduce you into the world like this.
You had no idea that he would reveal your relationship to his homies on a podcast.
Yet, you were intrigued.
„Her as in …?“
„You see, love is a funny thing, right? I didn’t plan to fall in love, nor did I want to but I kind of did. I found the one, man. I found the love of my life and I was lucky enough to have her love me back. Do you know how rare that is?“
„Yeah, it is for you. I remember our last interview and how we wanted to get you on tinder and shit.“
„Exactly! I used to be on my own for years. Years, man. I gave up on love completely, thinking this was meant for others but certainly not me. And then she came into my life. Like an angel that was coming down to help me. Save me even.“
„Your savior, huh?“
„I swear to god her love saved me. It saved me from drugs, it saved me from self destruction and first and foremost it saved me from myself. I gotta be honest man, if I hadn’t met y/n I wouldn’t even be here anymore.“
„Wow. That’s, that’s a pretty heavy revelation. I’m glad you’re doing better now.“
„Oh, I am. Management is probably going to kick my ass later but I don’t care. Let me loose fans, let me loose money. I don’t give a shit. If you support me now, you support the real Jackson Wang. And that’s me right now - happily coupled to the most beautiful soul on this planet. If you can’t handle that - my bad.“
„Okay guys, it’s over. China‘s most wanted bachelor is officially off the market. WHOOOO!!“
„Yeah, the king has finally found its queen.“
„So, what is she like?“
You paused the interview and took a deep breath. Jackson was very vocal of his feelings for you, but hearing it like that felt different. The biggest smile was plastered on his face as he was talking about you.
You as in his queen.
You as in future Miss Wang.
Hundreds of butterflies announced themselves in your stomach, making you giddy and joyful.
„Oh man, she is the best. Like, she is so breathtakingly beautiful. Inside and out. We have the best conversations. I feel like she is my best friend. Truly, no one gets me like she does. It’s just.. it’s effortlessly easy. We laugh a lot, we talk a lot, we share everything with each other. I’m just so grateful, man.“
„Yeah, I can see that. You’re grinning from ear to ear. Make sure to invite me to your wedding.“
„Like you invited me to your birthday?“
„Okayyyyy, let’s wrap it up. Guys, that’s it for today. Thank you Jackson, really appreciate you brother.“
You stopped the video, giggling at your petty boyfriend.
„Remind me to have a word with you once you’re back, yeah?“, you texted him.
It didn’t take him a second to instantly call you.
„Did you see it? Already? Damn babygirl, you’re quick“, he teased.
„You could have warned me, Wang!“
„I didn’t plan to say all that but I couldn’t help myself. It just.. it just came out of me. I really meant it though.“
„Everything?“
He knew exactly what you were implying.
„Oh, I’m gonna make you Miss Wang for sure. Rule my kingdom with me? Please?“
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hwallazia · 6 months ago
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CHIHIRO – 정우영
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synopsis . in which you finally let yourself let him go during a cold rainy night
pairing . jung wooyoung & fem!reader
genre . angst (way too much), lovers to exes, non idol!au
taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle | apply to join my taglist ♡
word count . 0,9k
DISCLAIMER! suggestive language (a lot of bad words in here), lots of manipulation and slyness from wooyoung, cold-hearted reader, slight violence (yn smacks wooyoung’s cheek), hints of cheating.
NIC’S NOTES ofc this is based of chihiro by billie eilish. the second i listened to this song, i thought of this angsty scenario. and so i thought it’d be a great idea to put wooyoung as the protagonist bc since enemies to lovers troupe fits him so well, why don’t do it backwards? ;))) alsoo, lowercase is intentional (yep, again)
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“yn, come on!” wooyoung shouted as he ran towards you desperately; breath hitching, legs trembling. the only thing he could recognize within his visual field were the ends of your dark hair flying back in goodbye, your heart already very far from his. “don’t be like that. you know this isn’t the way to fix things up.”
your leather boots splashed against the puddles of water generated by the rainy dew that announced a great storm, your hands seeking protection from the cold in the pockets of your coat. you heard wooyoung’s wet footsteps as you saw his figure getting closer to you, alerting you. you stopped dead in your tracks when he forcibly grabbed your wrist, compelling you to look at him, to look at those pleading eyes that manipulated you so much. those goddamned eyes that changed your personality so much. “don’t you fucking touch me.” you huffed sternly, shaking your arm as you tried to escape his grasp, your eyes stabbing daggers into his heart. those merry, stunning, and beaming eyes were replaced by an opaque, lightless gaze. one he’d never forget. since when did you hold so much resentment and hatred for him that you saw him that way? as if you had never loved him. as if you had never felt anything at all.
he let you go the second he understood that you were capable of punching him in the face if he even touched a minimal part of your skin. “fine, i won’t touch ya,” he raised his hands up in surrender. but still he tried to explain himself, even though he knew that he was the last person you wanted to see at the moment, “can’t we talk about this at home? it’s freezing cold out here, and you’re wearing shorts-”
“since when do you care so much?” yes, he was right, your legs quivered as your uneven breathing made your lips release condensed clouds, but you wouldn’t let him know. standing as hard as a rock, you continued, “don’t look for me neither call me anymore. i want nothing to do with you.”
wooyoung’s breath hitched and as he tried to pull himself together, he tried for one last time to convince you and mold your mind. “hey that’s a very hasty decision, don’t you think?” he paused briefly, his sigh exhaled right on your face, “yn, is this because of hana?”
the sound of her name sliding down his tongue was the straw that broke the camel’s back. after everything he had done, he really thought that this was just a little scene of yours? a little whim?
“no! it’s not because of her. it’s because of you!” you finally screamed, your heart winning over the pride that wanted to predominate in you. “you and your stupid manipulations, your excuses, and your fakeness.” your eyes threatened to water, but you wouldn't collapse. not now. “how dare you come after me and try to explain yourself after i found you with her sitting on your lap as you giggled at some of those weird ass jokes of yours.”
“oh so it is because of her,” he got closer to you, more than you would’ve allowed him, your lips being an absurd distance away. “why are you causing all of this when you could’ve just asked me?” his hand began to trail its way up to your cheek, and as soon as he cupped it, your hand slammed against his cheek loudly, pulling his figure to the left. the humidity of your hand and his face making the impact even more painful.
“you... disgusting little shit” your grossed-out expression being visible even for a blind man. “how could i have gotten involved with someone like you?” you sighed to yourself. a moment of silence drowned the conversation. wooyoung facing the ground as you stared sternly at him. but then, you decided to confess, “you know, at first i thought this was a fairytale, my most perfect fantasy. but turns out it was yours, not mine. definitely not mine.”
you resumed, “fuck, i was so blinded.” your palm landed on your forehead as you turned your body and faced up to the night sky, a couple of raindrops decorating your frozen cheeks, “this whole relationship was nothing but your slyness trying to mold my personality and mentality to your whim, wasn’t it?” you didn’t even give him a moment to respond, “who the fuck do you think you are?”
“yn. you’re hallucinating, my love. please, let’s stop all this nonsense-”
“i don’t even recognize you at all.” you spat, your frozen limbs welcoming an intrude, a strange warmness. maybe because you had said what was stuck in your throat for months. finally, you got out of that jail, that imprisoned manipulation that caused you vexation for so long.
“don’t say that. yn-” you observed as his eyes started to well up with tears, but it didn’t hurt you. not anymore. from one moment to the next, jung wooyoung’s existence stopped mattering to you. after such a long time, you became insensitive to those pleading eyes.
“don’t look at me like that. i’m not yours anymore.” you finally sentenced. “goodbye, jung wooyoung.” those were your last words to him so that you turned around and started on your way to, probably, your best friend's house, leaving behind a broken-hearted wooyoung, his eyes being similar to the thousand-yard stare as he watched the ripples of a puddle of water as the rain became heavier and heavier.
probably, you’d meet again in another life, or not. the emptiness you felt at that moment was unexplainable —you’d probably shirk it and let your drunk self take matters into its own hands. but you were sure that jung wooyoung taking your love away from you wouldn’t be so easy to forget.
| masterlist
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urmomschocolatemilk · 1 year ago
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Angst Simon x reader Old draft I finished at 2am, does it make sense? Idk not really, do I care? Also no bc I lowkey kinda love it. Alway idk rlly know how to end this so send some ideas in on how you think it should end bc I’m torn bro ALSO ig im back for now! after months...hehehe 😅
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You’ve done long distance relationships, and they’re hard. Much harder than most people think them to be. But whatever you have, going with Simon is harder.  
You don’t know what he does for a living, or why he leaves you for months on end, only to come for a month or two (at the most) and leave in the middle of the night. He doesn’t say goodbye, doesn’t even say hello.  
One morning you’ll wake up and he’ll be there, arms wrapped around you, and his chest rising and falling steadily. And then the next morning he’ll be gone, leaving you to wake up to a cold bed and no idea of where he’s gone off to or when he’ll be back. Sometimes he’ll leave a warm breakfast in the microwave in apology, or a boquete of flowers. Other times you get nothing, and he vanishes without a trace. 
Once he’s gone you don’t hear from him for months until he gets back. Until he shows up in your bed again, on a random, sunny morning. That may just be the hardest part.  
You respect his need for privacy, never pushing him to tell you what he does or where he goes. If he wants to tell you he will, but sometimes you can’t help but wonder if he’s even really real or you’re just hallucinating it all. It quite literally feels like you’re dating a ghost. 
But for now, you pretend like the jarring nightmares he has are normal, or the excessive amounts of scars that paint his body aren’t there. For now, you keep the bubbling curiosity you feel strapped down and tucked away.   
Whatever you have with Simon isn’t too hard, not on a day-to-day basis, but sometimes it gets harder.  
Some days you go through the day, every cell in your body aching to see him, hear him, smell him, touch him, and taste him. Other days it comes randomly, often before bed, as an animistic need for him with you that bubbles under your skin, trying to claw it way out, only to be satisfied by him. Those nights you go to sleep hoping - no praying - for some miracle to bring him back to you. To wake up the next morning with him at your side. 
Most times your prayers go unheard. Leaving you to wake up in an empty bed again, and the need for something as simple as his presence unsatisfied. 
Rarely though, are your prayers answered and you’re awoken to the sound of soft breathing next to you, and the weight of his arms around your waist and the comforting warmth that radiates from him and envelops you. Today is one of those rare days. 
You watch his sleeping form, your heart swelling with gratitude and love. You shift closer to him, burying your head into his chest and inhaling deeply, trying to get enough of him to last you a century. In his arms all your worries and stress, and everything bad disappears. You can already feel it all melting away. You feel relieved. It makes you want to cry – no it does make you cry.  
Simon wakes to your trembling body and silent sobs. At first, he simply shoves his face deeper into the crook of your neck with a small groan, placing gentle kiss to the skin. After a moment though, everything starts to come into focus, and he becomes aware of the quiet sound of sniffing and shaking figure in his arms. He pulls away quickly, suddenly more alert and completely awake as worry and fear course through him.  
“Darling?” The pet name slips through his teeth so easily, the roughness of sleep adding to his already deep voice and for some reason it only makes you cry harder. “Darling what's wrong?” He asks worriedly. You sniff, choking on your own tears as you attempt to respond.  
“I c-cant do this anymore Simon.”  
He frowns, his stomach dropping at your words, “Do what?” he asks. 
“This,” you emphasize, “The never knowing where you are or when you're going to come home, or if you're even going to come home in the first place!” another sob escapes you, “it's too much for me. I-I mean sometimes it's okay but other times it's just so unbearable! I just can't do it anymore.” you cry 
Hes silent, unsure of what to say to comfort you. He knew this arrangement was rough on you. He’d thought he’d been protecting you by not telling you the truth about his work, but he wasn’t sure telling you now would make things any better.  
His body seems to have a mind of its own and he find himself reaching for you, pulling you into his lap and easing you both down as he sushs you gently.  
“I know love, I know,” he cooes, but your quieting sobs are the only response to his weak attempts of comfort that he desperately hopes hide how torn he is on what to do. He listens to your breathing as it evens out and your body relaxes against his as you drift back to sleep, but he knows he isn't getting a single wink for a while.  
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