#bruh ive been working on a thing for a while now

[paint-music-with-me]

. 

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Yeah like what’s the point of even having anon features if they can’t use your website?????? Like on certain blogs I can’t even view them without being blocked????? I don’t understand????

And I can’t talk to people if they don’t have a submission box which is awkward because not many people have a submission box that I can see! -🌟

══════════════════ 

well the blog thing is most likely that some people have set it to not be visible outside the tumblr dashboard; some people just don’t want their blog viewable to anyone outside of tumblr and there’s a number of reasons why that could be, it’s their own personal decision

the submission/ask box thing can sometimes be a case i know of new users forgetting to turn it on, but sometimes too its deliberately turned off (or limited, like anons being turned off and only other users can ask qs) for, again, a number of different reasons (︶︿︶)

[choccy-milky]

bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT

[cursedalthoughts]

Priority Research 7 Predictions - Iris Orthodoxy

Ah, the Iris. At the time of writing this post, we don't quite know if they're the CN 7th Anniversary faction or not, meaning they could be getting a gacha UR.

In this list I will also mention some possible DRs of them. Because I think they deserve more than what they already have - no offense to Brest enjoyers, she's very cool.

Colbert

Let's make one thing very clear:

Colbert was built in Brest in the 1960s, and served until 1972 as a light cruiser. Colbert did exist in real life, which would disqualify her from being a PR; however, she served at the beginning of the Cold War period, meaning I do not care.

Colbert was designed as an AA cruiser, the last of the ships France would classify as "cruisers" before adopting the term "frigate" for them.

She has a total of 16 low calliber 127mm guns in 8 turrets, guns which have a sub-4s reload time and have a considerable fire starting chance of 7%. Might not seem like much, but when you're getting bombarded with around 270 of these shells per minute, that quickly adds up.

Colbert could make for a very fun little DR light cruiser, even if realistically she will never be a PR.

Bourgogne

Talking about DRs, Bourgogne is a classic.

Being a sidegrade to Alsace at one tier higher (Tier 10), Bourgogne is an excellent pesky battleship. As usual with French battleships, she gets an engine boost; and if Alsace is anything to go by (I don't have Bourgogne lmao), she can easily reach 39 knots.

Her 12 380mm guns have a reload of 28s, to compensate for their low calliber at such a high tier; on top of having each a 36% fire starting chance. She's not quite HMS Conqueror or HMS St. Vincent levels of cringe, but she can be an HE spammer with no problems.

And if an enemy ship gives you a tempting broadside, her AP is not disappointing. Despite the low calliber, French shells are fast and hit hard.

Picardie

I sincerely hope we do not get Picardie in Azur Lane. She's utterly disappointing.

Picardie is a Tier 8 retrofit of Lyon, which swaps her perfectly fine and usable 340mm guns with pathetically weak 305mm guns. They have awful HE and AP penetrations, and not even her reload boost can save her.

However... Azur Lane has a track record of turning disappointing WoWs ships into fascinating PR shipgirls, so there's some hope.

PR rarity, of course. Just look at her bruh

Carnot

Certainly one of the ships of all time. Carnot is a supecruiser, much like Brest; but she's considerably different in terms of design. She has, for starters, ten 305mm guns; which is the most any supercruiser her tier has - Alaska, Ägir, Kronshtadt have 9, Siegfried has 6 (albeit 380mm), and Brest has 8. Her reload is subpar, however; at 22 seconds.

Her speed is very good, as it's mandatory of all French ships. Her armor is way too big to be good, as her deck sits high above the waterline, giving her plenty of large, flat, mediocre armor. Easy to penetrate with sufficiently large guns.

She works well as a PR, although I can see her being a DR as well.

Henri IV

Henri IV is the primordial French supercruiser. She's technically still just a heavy cruiser, armed with 240mm guns.

Once the queen of speed, Henri was nerfed to the ground a few years ago. Now, her acceleration speed is horrible, and her turning radius and rudder shift have also been nerfed, making her considerably less maneuverable.

Still, Henri IV could be an interesting older sister to Saint Louis; maybe even a DR.

Condé

While I'm not sure about Henri IV's rarity, I am certain Condé would be DR.

Condé is a bigger, better Henri IV, with quadruple 240mm gun turrets and access to a speed boost, a gun reload boost, and a burst fire mode which allows her to fire her guns every 1.5s for 2 salvos.

Condé is very good with what's known as a lighthouse build, which consists of making her as visible as possible.

The problem with Condé is the same as Yamagiri from the Sakura Empire prediction post - she's a Tier 11, and we have not gotten any Tier 11 yet. However, Condé is one of the most well known and beloved/hated Tier 11 ships, meaning she's way more popular.

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

First Impressions (will be adding as I play)

DOMESTIC ZELINK THEH ARE SO FUCKING CUTE (like PLS he is such a gentleman and is still a short king, we stan— and Zelda always worried about him 🥺)

Link lost an arm to protect Zelda. My guy sets a HIGH BAR

Once I fully understand zonai devices it’s over for you bitches

Rauru my main man gets a love interest. What a dude

NOOOO NOT THE WAY THE MASTER SWORD GOES TO ZELDY IN THE PAST IM SO AHSJKDJSBAHSJZ I MISS FI SO MUCH

yo Hyrule be lookin DIFFERENTT AND OMG EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR ZELDA AND LINK

Fucking SHOOT ME IT WOULD BE LESS PAINFUL THAN SEEING HOW MUCH EVERYONE CARES ABOUT THEM LIKE ????? GODDDDDD

DID A TREE JUST FUCKING ATTACK ME WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT IS THIS those scrubs really upped themselves ig

TULIN MY CHILD IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED THAT IS MY SON!!!!!! THATS MY BOY!!!!! lol I love that the game points you towards Rito first bc no matter what the game wanted me to do, I was going to Rito village first bc I wanted to see all my CHILDRENN

Where the FUCK is Kass.

Not me avoiding both the entire East portion of the map in preference of going to Gerudo to see Riju

YOOOOO GIBDOS????? Need the suns song

OH LIGHTNINGGGGGG interesting I am DIGGING THIS and we get to go into Gerudo without disguise???? BANGERRRRRRR

I want my HORSE 🥲 silence my trusty white stallion where art thou

I’ve made it to Hateno and I’m fucking sick of these Koroks, like get up you lazy tree spirit are you fucking KIDDING me

ZELDA’S HOUSE!!!!! IS!!! THE!!!! HATENO!!!! HOUSE!!!! THEY LIVED TOGETHER!!! We been knew but OH MY GOD ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS WITH ALL THESE IMPLICATIONS. HIS HAIR TIE. THENEW TUNIC. THE KIDS DRAWING OF ZELDA. I AM GOING FERAL THEY ARE SO GODDAMN DOMESTIC

Yo where the FUCK is Kass.

Okay okay I’m having a time with paragliding so I’m just going to do Rito Village’s thing so I can get Tulin’s power

Lmao they’re not gunna kill off the babies like they did with the last champions…. Right?

LOL OKAY OKAY COOL THEY WONT CRISIS AVERTED but MAN I’ve fucked myself bc it is nearly 5a and my sister is coming over at 8a 💀

my HORSEEEE I HAVE MY HORSE BACK yo that is TRULY the best thing I missed my horse so much

Okay now I’m going to do the tears of the dragon quest bc WOOOOOHWEEEEE I miss Zelda

This was a fucking mistake it is 3am and I have to be up in four hours for work and I’m SOBBING bc ZELDA HAS SACRIFICED SO FUCKING MUCH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK NINTENDO

At least I have the sword 🥲

I’m loving everyone sending asks and talking to me about this game I love each of you SO MUCH… not as much as I love Tulin and Riju but still LOL

Yo I’m so fucking sad bc of Zelda rn I think I’m just gunna get a shit ton of shrines and explore the depths

THE DEPTHS ARE SO FUN AND COOL!!! I also think I found a temple in eldin ???? COOOOOOOOLLLLL !!!!!

What’s not cool? Yunobo being all macho macho man bruh when that is not the sensitive little Goron I know and love. Marbled rock roast? Sureeee Cuz that’s not suspicious.

Okay I’m going to avoid Zora’s domain and head to the great plateau…. Why the fuck is the Old Man’s Cabin inhabited by the Sheikah what the fuck is this

Okay so the Yiga are just camped out in Akkala too??? Bitches. Next thing you know Kohga is alive and in the depths LMAO

Now I’m going to Zora’s Domain bc it’s my last pit stop before I actually continue the story LOL… scratch that Imma head to Tarrey Town and see how the fam is doin! And !!! Hudson has a daughter!! Guess that answers my question as to how long it’s been between games lmao

I keep procrastinating Zora’s Domain OOOOFT but I’ll go there now for reals—Sidon is engaged??? Man was like “Omg bestie it’s been forevs btw this is my fiancé” like damn okay how long has it been since Link went to Zora’s domain

I’ve been searching for Kass and I’m having major doubt atp 🥲 I want my beloved songbird back

OKAY DUNGEON TIMEEEEE Imma do Yunobo and while I know it wants me to save Riju for last I simply cannot stay away for long so I’ll go there next!

Yo these temples are fire I got majorly concerned with the Wind Temple but it genuinely makes sense to have a more familiar groundwork for players to begin with that’s just different enough that you notice so it prepares you for the more complex classic Zelda dungeon twist the rest of them have

I’m annoyed all of their abilities require me like ‘asking’ their spirits rather than having a function button to summon it at will

Except for tulin bc he is my child and all is forgiven. And Riju bc she’s pretty and I love her

DID I FUCKING MANIFEST KOHGA BEING ALIVE AND IN THE DEPTHS?????? BITTTTCCCCHHHHHH I thought these people be straight up loyal but nah he ain’t dead, just chillin in the depths

Yo I thought I was at the end of the game but nope I find out that the Zelda I’ve been chasing is a puppet WOW who would have guessed 🙃

BUT THE WAY GANONDORF WAS LIKE “using her made it so easy to lure you into traps” like my man KNOWS

Okay okay fifth Sage down and now I’m going to the Hyrule castle chasm

Was no one going to tell me this might be difficult bc I’m just tryna sneak through but that ain’t happening LOL

I’m going to shower and eat dinner and THEN I’ll beat the game

Oh my god we back at the place we started I LOVE FULL CIRCLES

I’m going to fucking sob this has been such a good fight!!! Getting to use the master sword the entire time >>>>>

(Even though i legitimately used a lynel bow and bombs to deal most of my damage to Ganondorf… don’t judge me I am ✨strategic✨ and I only managed fo do real damage if I did arrows, arrows, dodge dodge dodge, flurry rush, backpedal it up)

ZELDA BEING MY HOMIE IN THIS DRAGON FIGHT WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!! She makes me so happy she went straight for Link to save him bc that’s simply instinct

🥹🥹🥹🥹IM SOBBING THIS IS SO FUCKINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE HER AND I LOVE THAT WE GET TO DIVE AFTER HER AND ACTUALLY CATCH HER 🥹🥹🥹

Lifting her out of the water… Zelda waking up to the feeling of a warm loving embrace… telling Link “I’m home” and that she has “so much to tell” him… I’m going to need another box of tissues bc I be EMOTIONAL

Awe all the sages pledging themselves to Zelda

Link just being a silent supportive boyfriend bc homeslice can and will do everything to protect Zelda (and okay he already did a ceremony for this but let me have my shipper goggles on)

I’m just going to say it. This might be my favorite game. And I’m a diehard Majora’s Mask fan. Like that’s been my favorite for a WHILE. I miss the simplicity for some of the game mechanics but thoroughly enjoy the new creations we can make. I also understand zonai devices now so when Kass comes in the DLC it’s over for y’all

Anyway botw/totk zelink is canon and no one can change my mind

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii so i put in a request for the matching thing but you didn’t respond to it so im guessing i didn’t put enough info which i completey understand!!! very sorry about that, i hope ur still doing these requests if not i deeply apologize. anyway pls take ur time so so sorry!!

i’d also like to be matched with someone in pjo pls!

personal info ? 15 yrs old, i’m a girl, she/her(truly idc), bisexual, half mexican (white dad…)

physical: i have medium length wavy brown hair with grown out bangs, im 5’4 average weight, pretty tan, brown eyes, silver circle glasses, i wear smudgy eyeliner w/mascara, i either wear tank tops with big pants or big t shirt with shorts

personality: i’m honestly very weird with the people im close with, like very. i have brainrot humor so im always saying weird ass shit acting like it’s normal. i’m also very sarcastic and if im not very close with someone i give them like 0 reaction i guess? idk ppl tell me im nonchalant but that sounds rlly corny 😬 anyway im very embarrassing in public when im with my friends and they hate it but i think its funny idc!! im also pretty moody but im just a teenage girl!!!!!!! i dont get mad that easily tho like i can take a joke i just get ANNOYED easily but then ill be fine in a few minutes. also ppl tell me im very funny so 😇 meat riding myself YES IM A NO SABO KID I AM TRYING TO LEARN SOANISH.

hobbies/intrests: love love love listening to music, love tv girl, tyler, mitski, arctic monkeys, the smiths, depeche mode, the cure, lana, tame impala, beabadoobee and so many other generes and artists but i only know like 2 songs 😬

i also had a severe fnaf phase, avatar the last airbender, spiderverse, saiki, and obvi percy jackson

currently OBSESSED with slushy noobz they are my whole personality they are how i act. along with avascreams on tiktok ive literally had 6 different ppl tell me “you know that one girl on tiktok?? you act just like her” IM TRILY NOT EVEN TRYING TO ACT LIKE HER I SWEAR. also love sam and colby i full heartedly believe in ghosts just watch ima become a ghost hunter 😊😊

as of right now my hobbies are playing stardew valley and never getting my homework done, i also love to draw but im not very good at it. i also love painting but i haven’t done it in a while bc of school :(( i take piano lessons as well but again, not very good even after 5 years. i rlly like reading too but again bc of school i haven’t read as much lately, love playing with my pets (dog and cat) they’re so cute i love animals so so much i want more but yknow im busy, ive also gotten into working out bc im tryna lose this face fat🫥

likes: love carnival rides!!!! they’re so fun i love the fair SO MUCH. beautiful atmosphere truly. the zipper is so fun don’t let anyone lie to you. nature, i love going on walks in the woods but i can’t bc i don’t live near any😔 food i love food, korean, mexican, american, japanese, i love it all. english class! teacher is so sweet i love her and its also easy and boring so

dislikes: six flags. i hate roller coasters. annoying ppl like bruh stfu up OH MY GOD. when my mom asks me about college, leave me alone pls!

okay i truly don’t know what else to put i hope this was enough 😓😓

-faith 👐

Hey Faith, I am so so sorry that this took incredibly long to complete. I’ve been insanely busy these few months and lots of personal stuff going on so I really hope that this does it justice! And also also don’t be sorry I’m really sorry that this took so long

Your PJO ship: Leo Valdez 🔥🔥🔥 (man I’m jealous)

Explanation: honestly the best way I can explain this is that you’re crazy totally matches his crazy. Your freak matches his freak. is somebody gonna match my freak? Yes, someone will match your freak and that person is Leo. Starting off with your physical appearance, I think that he would be very attracted to you and I think you give a vague match of his mom like I feel like you look like his mom a little little bit, which is what kind of drew him to you in the first place I feel like he probably saw you in a crowd and his jaw dropped. He just thought that you were your clothing style. He also liked your eyeliner which he had you do on him whenever you guys got comfortable enough in the relationship he was like hey can I please have your make up routine done on me? He looked rlly hot but anyway- you guys are just so chaotic together with your personality like you match him so well I feel like Leo in order to make a relationship work with him. He needs to have someone that’s either vastly different than him or the same because I mean, I just see you guys as Deadpool and Vanessa, you guys so chaotic in public you guys would do so much embarrassing shit together and social anxiety would be afraid of both of you combined, a deadly duo. Whenever you were first getting to know each other, and you were more relaxed and chill around him less if you’re crazy with showing, that’s what kind of Drew him like he thought that your dynamic could be that you would kind of be more opposites, but then he slowly realize that you were just as fucking goofy and silly as him, and he would have a blast with you as you guys got further on into your even like just friendship that eventually turn into romance. You guys always have the funniest times together like I’m not joking. You guys would be the couple to go out with if you wanted a good time because you guys just yeah you’re chaotic and glorious and also really freaking funny and I mean yeah. (I would also like to let you know to do a deeper dive into your personality. I did research some of the people you mentioned that you were compared to and watched some of their videos and subjected myself to the painful amount of puns and batshit crazy, honestly I’m pretty impressed if people are comparing you) as for your hobbies, he would love playing Stardew Valley and I feel like he would romance. Sebastian don’t ask me why, but I just feel like he would. He would totally want Sebastian as I don’t know why OK I really don’t. I really don’t but anyway that’s just my personal theory. But he would love playing Stardew with you. He’s also a procrastinator when it comes to homework and work and taking things seriously in general so you guys would be quite the interesting duo and I feel like U2 would just end up making out during study date so if you want someone to study with? He’s probably not the best person. Also, I think that he would love your art and would be absolutely obsessed. If you ever did any artwork of him or just inspired by him like he would love that he would frame that shit he would brag to everyone about how good you are and same goes with piano he’s obsessed even if you think you weren’t very good after five years of playing he thinks you’re magnificent. It took everything in him to not compare you to Apollo because he knew that that would probably get you like blasted into the sky or something, but he just thinks anything that comes from you is good basically. That’s Leo Math.

You + Anything= Good.

He can never read very much because of his ADHD. I just feel like he would lose interest in books really easily unless they’re really exciting or exactly what he’s being into at this point, so I feel like he would get the being too busy to read. He also loves animals. He would absolutely snuggle all the pets in the world. I feel like he just loves animals. I feel like he especially loves dogs because they match his energy and he’s definitely like a golden retriever guy or maybe a Chihuahua guy one of them anyway dogs are very Leo core. Also, he thinks your chubby face is cute, and while he promotes working out for the healthiness of it, he thinks you have the wrong motivation if you want to get rid of that cute squeezable cheeks. (Multiple cheeks if ykwim) he also loves carnival rides and he’s a huge foodie so if you ever went out to him, you guys would end up eating more than your stomachs and belts can handle I mean yeah you guys would just be done if you ever went out to eat because he would order so much food and then I feel like because of his ADHD he’d be midway eating through another thing and then see other stand and be like babe. We gotta go there next. basically you guys would be extremely full. He also likes nature walks. I think that he kind of just likes the dirt of it because he’s definitely not afraid to get dirty and he loves just poking around nature I mean, I honestly that’s how I see him going on hikes like he’d pick up slugs, he do all kinds of like gross stuff. People normally wouldn’t do like I don’t know, letting a worm crawl on his arm or something.  anyway you guys totally match each other crazy and match each other’s freak yes just like the song, and I really ship it 💕💓💗💞💗💞

[unofficialadamtaurus]

First of all CONGRATS for finishing! It could not have been easy (I say as I remember all the times you were sore, bruised, and/or sick while trying to write a chapter LIKE BRUH), especially when each and every chapter is god tier. Seriously homie, you’re amazing!!

But FOR REAL WTF?? these dudes keep working after having infiltrated a massive fucking whale, stopped a Grimm invasion, got exploded to bits, and fought an immortal milf? Babes pls get some. Idk. SLEEP.

Naw but i really do love to see it. Also especially love to see how much they support each other through it 🥹 honestly the highlight of the chapter for me.

GOD like this moment when all of RWBY hug is HNNNNGSOZHBEHAOXH

Blake and Weiss joined the hug by some unspoken signal. Ruby melted into their embrace like so many petals and Blake's heart melted with her. "I missed you guys."

THEY ARE FAMILY OKAY AND I JUST GXHWIYZBXOYWNJ

Ruby is being particularly adorable too (the carrots line killed me 💀) but also like GURL YOU ARE LITERALLY BLIND RN STAY IN BED??

Yang nodded. "We'll get through it. Speaking of getting through things…can we talk?"

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yang shuddered at her touch. Their lips brushed when Blake continued: "Let's skip that part this time."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THOSE TWO ARE SO *frantic arm gestures* YKNOW??? Im happy they got a happy ending because yeah I doubted it for sec okay 😩

LMAO at the reoccurring Oscar interruption but wait FUCK THE KID IS FUCKING DYING?? UGH god I didn’t expect the Oscar and Ozpin thing to hurt as much as it did. Ozpin deserves good things too dammit whyyy 😭😭

GODDAMN Adam and Blake conversations are always so top tier is2g. There’s something I love so much about this conversation brooo. Blake’s resolve and care towards him just 🥹 UGH. her unwavering stares? Easily expressed gratitude? Instant forgiveness (nothing to really forgive cuz like corruption feels like shit and pretty violating and traumatizing tbh fr but she does it anyway to help him feel better ANDANDAND—)? THE LETTER???

OWHXISOWHXNIWOEUDNCKEIHWKFIW I JUST LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE CARES ABOUT HIM AND HE FEELS IT OKAY

And FUCK I love this part

He swallowed and looked away, unsure how to respond to that. He didn't want to say "You're welcome," because they weren't, and this was never going to happen again. Even if, in some small corner of his heart, the knowledge that he'd helped to save the world like some kind of fantasy hero radiated a gentle heat that would warm him for a long time to come.

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO THAT HARD HOMIE IM ALREADY CRYIN 😭

Also LIVING for Neo and Adam team up. Neo’s expressive mannerisms are genuinely so fun to read UGH it’s PERFECT. And the “Don’t stay too long” for Qrow OAISBXOIENWOWIDN

He clipped Blush to his belt and let the spark flare unhindered.

Homie when I tell that IM FUCKING LIVING FOR THISS

"'Part of starting over is saying goodbye. You were first; now it's my turn. If you want to, you'll see me again.

"'Goodbye, Blake.'"

OWJDNEOWHNDDIJENEIDNXIEUWNDIFUENEIDIXJNWO IM EMOTIONAL

wait omfg I think I forgot to mention to Jaune 💀 I don’t hate him I swear The way his semblance and aura are practically working against each other is a REALLY interesting and nice touch, and i don’t think ive ever seen it applied like this. And I love his “i went from nothing to nothing line” and how he’s just so glad he was able to save somebody. 🥹 it captured that part of his character so well and tbh the same goes for all the others (me @ ruby rn is going “bitch is you BLIND”). It’s a really neat touch to the chapter!!

I can't tell if you've read the epilogue yet, but either way I am injecting every keysmash in this message directly into my veins. Your reviews were one of the things I most looked forward to when writing a new chapter - I was excited to see which lines you'd specifically comment on. You're probably at least 20% of the reason this story got finished at all lol.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for never failing to bring a smile to my face when commenting 😊

[storiesofsvu]

Alright, happy Thursday hoes, lets get to this.

Mothership first

Okay… interesting open…

Omg…how many times are they gonna use the trope of “don’t touch that!” “who the hell are you?” surprise it’s the new laywer…

Not surprised its another old white dude, but at least he’s not as old as mccoy

Okay seriously…. If they get rid of Samantha I will not be watching this show anymore..

I wonder if they’re going to bring this staff change up on svu too considering this guy is also now carisi’s boss… but the writers seem to have forgotten that these shows all exist together until they want to do a crossover.

If this was svu the ada would be storming into the squad room yelling at the detectives for making a mistake that’s gonna cost them their case. Why don’t we get to see that on mothership? I want more crossing over between departments, cops never show up in the gallery either, just to testify if they’re needed.

Oooo yesss that maroon suit. I see you ma’am!

Man they’re just right fucked with this case aren’t they?

This defence attorney is super crusty

How come these videos are coming up NOW and not before things went to trial??

This judges office is barba’s office. They really only have so many sets, hey? (also the continuity of that office on this show/universe drives me fucking insane).

My subtitles keep cutting in and out and that is also driving me insane

Toronto time.

Will I pay attention? Likely no

JESUS FUCK talk about a cold fucking opening wow.

Big surprise I stopped paying attention halfway through the ep. Like, it’s fully muted right now and I’m working on writing LOL

SVU time

BRUH is this maria stuff ive been seeing all over twitter legit?! I thought people were fucking clowning LOL

Olivia in uniform just fucking makes me so fucking weak every single time

Clearly the other captain hasn’t been in the field a lot if that was her immediate reaction to that crime scene

Okay… hear me out… olivia literally saved maria’s life and stayed on the phone with her ALL night. We all know she has a habit of taking in strays… there’s no doubt maria became a cop because of liv… maria would have reached out TO HER about her graduation, not the other way around…

Velasco getting actual screen time finally. I do have to say, im back on my Velasco bullshit…

LOL. I know it was unintentional but the harshness of velasco’s knock on the door killed me.

4 hours of law and order is too much. Im getting bored and this is the show I actually like. I think imma start skipping Toronto cause mothership does hit some days

If this girl has a good enough lawyer she could easily get off on an insanity type plea… tbh this episode would’ve been way better on criminal minds. That would’ve been bad ass.

This episode is almost over and we got absolutely NO closure on the maria thing AND we didn’t get to go to court. Im OVER this fucking show man lol

Liv being back in her bac nail polish era is bomb though

Fin doesn’t strike me as a scotch guy… this is weird..

Okay… liv is really not okay. Like this girl needs support, she needs proper and regular therapy, she needs a break from work. Go home and spend time with your son instead of drinking cheap wine alone in a bar? Also while we’re talking about drinking alone after work being all sad, can we touch on the fact that her mother was an alcoholic, and that was what *killed* her… this is incredibly worrisome and I doubt we’re ever going to touch on it/get it fleshed out like we should…

Okay we at least got some maria closure. Thank you.

OC time!

Jet *attempting* to control stabler, woof. At least someone’s trying loooll

This bitch is so dead

Part of me feels like its bullshit that se wouldn’t know any of this about her own brother, but also I never talk to my family so…. LOL.

Fuck he’s creepy as shit

There is NO WAY THAT TINY MAN IS THE SAME SIZE AS ELLIOT

The fact that it took THIS long for someone higher up to question his anger/trauma/etc affecting his job is wild.

THE BARTENDER IN ME IS FUCKING DYING. I had a PHYSICAL reaction to that conversation.

“you’ve never had a long island ice tea?!” “I don’t like ice tea it’s too bleh” guy promptly orders two to prove that theyre good? THERE IS NO ICED TEA IN LONG ISLANDS

Cragen’s really just gonna be in the last second of this episode isn’t he?

Everyone: proper ear pieces

Jet: nah. Air pod.

I really thought that stabler was gonna be missing for a like, a good chunk of time with no one knowing.

OHHHH right! The foil he found in the bathroom garbage and immediately licked… right… I forgot about that. Now the question is who it belongs to…..

[boilingheart]

i know its not quite the same scenario as navy seal, but ive highkey avoided ever talking about or publicly enjoying poly pirates content for the same kind of reason, but instead bc it involves shipping jay and chip.

like. yes, i know many people (including the jerboys) interpret them as having a more sibling-esque bond. I fully acknowledge it and I can even agree w it!* but i hate how it has been made that any other interpretation is not only wrong but also bad.

idk man like. i just hate how it feels like enjoying any dynamic of poly-pirates outside of fnc is wrong-- bc at that point, what is the point?

*i personally tend to see the two as very close, but the specifics of whether that closeness is platonic/familial or romantic depends on interpretation (whether of the individual, author, etc). they're two people who've found connection and safety in each other and also enjoy ribbing the other for jokes- what specific type of connection that is can vary for me, yknow? the type isnt the Core of their dynamic to me

(sorry the asterisk part got so long i just want to properly explain myself and dump a bit fjkdsjf)

Oh yeah, I'm 1000% with you on this. I mentioned navyseal cause that's my personal guilty pleasure that I am highkey obsessed with but had to keep it on the downlow after twitter decided it was just as bad as inc*st apparently (as someone who is very very deeply uncomfortable and revolted by that type of stuff in genuine, that shit pissed me off!!!), but this absolutely applies to Chip and Jay and polypirates as a whole. Hell, when I first started the show and didn't really have much fandom influence in my first 30 something episodes I was actually way more of a poly enjoyer

Anyways, as a whole I do sincerely think Chip and Jay work better as a platonic bond, I like this interpretation of their relationship better than romantic, but that doesn't necessarily make the ship bad or wrong you know? Literally ditto to everything you said in your asterisk I couldn't word it better myself.

Like bruh it really felt like these characters are stuck being bitchless fr LOL that whole twitter debacle made it feel like the only CORRECT ships were fnc and pistolwhip (as if fnc doesn't Also have some of the same dynamics listed in navyseal and chip/jay!! (although im certainly keeping my mouth shut further on that since people have started gunning to convince people fnc is a Bad Boring Ship, Actually, and it's better platonic (unrelated to the wlw vs mlm take that just happened there, big disclaimer (I spend too much time on twitter can u tell... there's so many shipwars there for no reason...))) anyways yeah there was just too many people trying to police these ships and instead of just being NORMAL and saying "oh X isn't my cup of tea I enjoy a familial/platonic bond between them instead" they start bending over backwards to prove that ACTUALLY it's PROBLEMATIC, SEE? And sourcing the boys' opinions on it doesn't Wholly matter to ships (unless it's in regards to boundaries, in which it Absolutely Matters) cause Bizly regularly dunks on fnc and that hasn't changed anything

This got very long winded sorry LOL I've been holding onto this irritation for a while now, it's one of the reasons why I'm trying to move away from twitter and come back to tumblr tbh. It is simply fandom culture to ship, and while I love fnc to absolute death as my main ship here, it's nice to explore some variety yk? navyseal has CRAZY potential cause of their parallels and their journey of self discovery and how much they deeply care for each other, polypirates is just a lot of fun altogether cause of all their personalities and that shared strong bond, then you have swordfish, fish² and chips, caspian/chip, marshall john/gillion, like, multishipping is FUN dude. Unless it's GENUINELY problematic or Actual Proshipping like twitter Claimed, I don't see the big idea. There is such thing as "Don't like, don't read". There is such thing as muting/blocking words and curating your own experience. You don't have to put down others because their enjoyment of something clashes with your personal interpretation of it. It's fandom bro!!!

[slavicprincess1966]

15 questions for 15 moots!!!!! <3

tysm for the tag kate @theshoutpolicyoftruth <<<33

1: are you named after anyone? nope!! my mom just really really liked the name ashley. she told me she actually really would have liked to name me jessica but her sister beat her to it while she had her kids first lol!!!

2. when was the last time you cried? i could be wrong, but as best as i can remember, probably at my last confession, which was june 2.

3. do you have kids? BRUH IM 16 WHAT DO YOU EXPECT lol but when i do hopefully come along an amazing husband i would like to possibly have 1 kid! for a boy, i’d name him cristian. idk any cool girl names yet lolz.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? it depends on the person and how silly i get

5. what sports do you play/have played? man i have gone at it my entire life!!! id consider dance a sport; i do polish folklore/trad dance right now and have been doing it for the past 5 years! started with ballet as a little girlie, then gymnastics, swimming, soccer, & ice skating, and after all i found that dance is my thing

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? totally how one presents oneself, and how similar i am to them. if you’re devout catholic or polish then i’d automatically think “YOURE SO COOLLLL”

7. what's your eye color? brown but i become edward cullen when the sun hits them just right

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy ending movieeeessss

9. any special talents? my art ofc! my mom also tells me that from what she sees, i am pretty advanced in english. i also pick up newly assigned guitar pieces quickly <3

10. where were you born? the gta (canada)

11. what are your hobbies? art, dance, daydreaming (about dave <3 ), singing when no ones around (with the exception of my mom, ive got an insane morrissey impression and she can confirm haha) and collecting cds, missionary work, and leadership at my catholic girls youth group

12. do you have pets? doggie!!!!!

13. how tall are you? i think i am like 5’7 now

14. favourite subject in school? visual arts & religion! (can i consider friday morning Mass as a subject too?!? yes its the sacrifice of the Mass but its also a time where i can listen and learn more especially during the liturgy of the word)

15. dream job? working in the law of child advocacy or perhaps even doing something on behalf of the crown attorney! i also wanna keep art as my side job and make pieces in my free time. when i grow up if it does happen i think my biggest and most valuable and rewarding job would be being a mom, though. it seems so faith deepening in a way to me! i would really love to cultivate a lifestyle where i can balance both work and homemaking. <3

this was so fun to do!!!! okay so basically my blog is actually pretty small and i dont think i even happen to have like near 15 mutuals but it is ok. in fact i share moots with the lovely that tagged me and u beat me to tagging most of them haha!! but whoever wants some silly little fun questions can totally copy paste this and share their answrs!!!!! i love learning about everyone here so if u find this on ur dash go ahead <3 God bless

[conniemb]

A lil vent cuz college is stressing me out:

Bruh like why I need an education to do shit. Why can't I just do a one year course in something I'm interested enough to jus sit through for a year or two. College kills passion. I've been in college for like 3 years now doing two different course and while I have learnt a lot from it I've also learned I can figure a lot of this shit out myself using online resources. All college does is make me feel unmotivated and stressed. I haven't felt a sense of accomplishment with my college work since first semester of first year and I'm so tired of having to work so hard for something that doesn't actually feel like it's getting me anywhere. It pisses me off that I have to waste 4 years of my life slaving away at work I don't wanna do just so I can get a piece of paper at the end of it that says "I spent the mandatory 1600+ euros to say I'm qualified to do this thing pls hire me" I don't even wanna work in a corporate job or office space but I feel like I need my degree in case I need to fall back on that kinda job. I wanna work freelance and be creative and just do the things I wanna do. What's wrong with working some boring ass job I spend like 30 hours a week on so I can pay rent and fund my hobbies with and just be content with that. I keep having these thoughts about dropping out and just working for a while till I get back on my feet financially and then doing a diploma course in a similar field for a year once I've had a due enough break from education and just get my certificate and see where that takes me. But there's all this pressure and expectations to do things the normal way, go to college, trek along for 4 years, then get a real job and be successful. Why can't I just be content doing what I enjoy doing. Why do I have to wrench myself through the cogs of industry standard jobs and companies just to have it squeeze all the passion out of me. Ive been reading so many articles lately about how ppl used to just do a one year certificate course in their field and then go out into the world nd get jobs and be able to work freelance, people who I know personally were able to do this. But nowadays without your 1600 receipt of education no one even bats an eye at your job application. It's all bullshit. Total fucking bullshit. I just wanna be financially stable for a few years man even if doing so costs me my education or postpones it for a few years. Just take things at my own pace. I keep playing around with the idea of if I actually manage to pay off and pass this semester deferring my next year and just working instead. My sister did that and she seems to be doing okay. And who knows when I do come back after the year of work I might be ready to commit myself to the next 3 years. Or maybe I will just commit to doing my 1 year certificate and trying out that life style. I'm putting a 3 month time period on my decision I think a hypothetical one. See how the next three months pan out. Then decide. Hopefully I'll find my answer then.

[kindred-spirit-93]

the devil works hard, but people work harder omg

posted something on r/TOMT a lil while ago and my jaw quite literally dropped when within record time some angel had already found exactly what i was looking for. God bless you kind stranger :')

if that wasnt brilliant enough as it is, turns out i had misremembered a lot lol (like the gist of it was alright but the only accurate detail i got was this background character mentioning their daughter), but still, it was ridiculously impressive and im devastated.

this morning i randomly remembered a scary short story i had read back in 2017 ish in highschool as a means of escape from my surroundings. id turned to scouring the small library my school had at the time, and quickly found an outlet in works of mystery and horror.

i read all sorts, most notably the many adventures of sherlock holmes, as well as miscellaneous and less known classics of the genre. this particular gem stuck with me more than the others, which is maybe why now that ive found it, im oddly emotional.

and its the strangest assortment of feelings too, from not expecting anyone to answer, the shock of finding a strong lead, anticipation while reading through it to see if it was a match, a moment of epiphany when id really and truly found it, to the cold bucket of 'oh?' is this it? the cold emptiness after a mission completed, a purpose fulfilled. i dont think ive experienced this wide of a range of emotions within this short of a timespan. i think i went through the 7 stages of grief all at once.

it never fails to surprise me how fast i unintentionally get attached to really insignificant things and let them have their way with me. in this case i think my mind unlocked a little drawer that had been long forgotten, so mush so, its contentents, regardless of how small and harmless they may have been, were bound to overwhelm my senses.

its interesting to think that as amazing and awe inspiring as the human mind is, the brain cant differentiate between whats real and what is percieved as such. a connection to a fictional character for instance is real, even if they arent, the brain builds connections and those, are very real.

i think the newfound (or rediscovered) knowledge of this particular period of my life physically threw me back into my 12 year old body, complete with the whirlwind of thoughts and neurotransmitters that defines that sticky age.

i felt the warmth of the sunshine peeking through the blinds of the library, warming me and the pages between my fingers, but the bitterness in my throat followed when i as an adult remembered what had put us in this situation in the first place. what, or rather who, i was escaping by living through ink beside another kind of monster...

tl;dr - it was The Mezzotint by M.R James that u can read here, highschool sucks, im going to eat ice cream.

UPDATE we ran out of ice cream now im really crying while munching on bugles. bruh 😭

[dhdhhehdndbdbd]

i wish you were the one. it doesn’t feel right to hold out for you yet it doesn’t feel right to go on seeing anyone else. i know I don’t have to see anyone else, lmfao, but still. What do I do now? honestly, I’m taking this as a ‘I don’t want to associate with you’. ‘I don’t want to see you again.’ ‘Your plans for the future are bogus and im not gonna try again.’

were you waiting for me to tell you how much I missed you? how much I wanted this to work? maybe I still can, but it’s gonna look pathetic, it already is pathetic im still following you while you just removed me. why do ppl do that bruh😭. he still follows my crystal account for whatever reason lmfao. but yeah this sucks.

I shouldn’t have sent that stupid meme I thought that tactic works it never fucking does. you’re an idiot bruh😭😭😭😭.

ugh. i just feel so strange now. also ive been resenting Alyssa a lil bit what’s up with that. we’re friends ik things are fine but it’s just awkward when we hangout. i always feel like im shutdown. Any of my ideas are stupid or cringe. I don’t even wanna go to the pool today bc I feel like they’re gonna make fun of me for what I wear. they always do. they don’t understand being uncomfortable huh? maybe they do im just angry and bitter.

idk im just not feeling good at all. finding that out last night just turned me off from everything. hunter, I miss you. more than you know. I know you think I don’t love you, and you’re right, I don’t love you in the way you love me. how can I be angry at you when you have probably figured out the truth? it’s the truth yet I don’t want you to leave.

this will pass. just ride it out.

[lovelifelikeitsyourlastlife]

MAY 27

shit where to i start yesterday i meet up with junior my i wanna say first high school boyfriend that i had. and bruh i got high not super high but still high enough to feel it and we ended up having sex he wasnt playing when he said he was gonna be rough like it was alright we went at it for a good amount till i started bleeding and we stopped. but it was alright he did like over hyped how good and how “big” his dick was, honnestly Alan (joels friend) has been the biggest one of all of 12 guys ive had sex with and even then he still wasnt good enough to have me satified so to my concluion dick size doent play a factor in me being able to finally experiance an organism, so far the only guy so has even gotten me hella close to one was luis and he wasnt even fucking me he was just fingering me, if i wasnt so scared to let lose and really let myself have it im pretty sure i wouldve been able to expenaice an orgams all on my own many times by now with just masterbating, but my fear of not having control of my body is what ruins things for me, maybe thats also why when i get high i havent been able to enjoy it like i see people do in movies or videos because im just now calm or enjoying it, i stay trying to fight it , fighting to gain control. anyways the sex was alright i had better, but i not gonna tell him that. being high help at least not focus much on if i like it or not it acttually help me to just enjoy it, and not over think it, next time when i go back im not gonna smoke to see how the sex really is, with me being aware and conncuisse i might drink just so i dont be all shy and shit cause the weed also help with that it helped me be a little more open, also th fact that junior was actually making converation with me and asking me things. we were both high anyways so being quite really didnt matter cause we would both doze off like its the next day so bacally its been 24 hrs now and im barely feeling normal again so for the high to completely ware off and be out of my system its takes more then 24 hrs, while sully over was telling me how in an hr it was gonna ware off, speacking about sully, her and this whole “wedding” of hers is just unbelivebale my mom says shes once again just trying to make me jealous or something like that but like if that was true it isnt working cause shes not even in love everthing was planned like nothing was a surprice, like those are the best things about getting enganged and getting married shes litterly only geting married because she doesnt wanna be alone, cause shes tired of fucking with dudes that in her words shes tired of being a dumbass and giving assholes a chance but its no ones fault but hers not being easy and having guys not  respect her i stay telling her she needs to stop fucking guys who clealry are only trying to get in her pants marrige shouldnt be a just cause things especially if getting married at a church in front of god, marrgie should be with someone you truly love and see your life with them forever , not just because your tired of “assholes” like its as simple as just staying single and waiting on the right guy to come along who isnt gonna ask for sex right away, like for me once a guy askes for sex right away i dont take them sereious, if i want to ill still have se with them and they could possibale be able to win me over if they want something serious with me but that doesnt mean that ima give in super easy with just the first lovey doevy thing they do but idk its hard to explain my way of thinking.

[i-have-bees-in-my-brain]

Personal rant or some shit bc i just wanna get this out rn. yeeeee this will be long

So today i had a vit of a stressful day with uni n all bc ive been sick and admittedly lazy over the last week up til like tuesday and i had to turn in an Interpretation/essay tonight and prepare a group presentation for tmr (saturday seminars should b illegal but ok i literally chose this). N e way so ive been procrastinating like hell up until this morning so i didnt rly eat before showing up to seminar at 12am and afterwards i had to check with my one remaining presentation groupmember and finish the interpretation and tgen i had swordfighting class at 5. I didnt Really gave time for it but its fun and im very behind bc i misses several lessons already and am generally. Not good at it lol. n e way i turn up to swords and we peactice some routines ig and heres where the peoblem rly starts. Basically i am a huge crybaby, always have been (im older than firestar btw for context), esp when i feel criticized or yknow. Make mistakes or anything and since i was a sports h8er with 2 left feet n hands all my life n cried often during school pe bc i kept messing up n git embarrassed, it was an important step for me to sign up for this uni extracurricular swords class bc. Doing sth sporty in front of others tgat. Isnt very easy and i gotta learn from scratch is a bit out of my comfort zone. But normally its all v fun, im not good/easily the worst in class but thats ok i learn and move my body and talk to ppl! Proud of myself! Well today not so kuch, i noticed i was getting tense bc of not understanding how to do a movement and everyone (3 experienced fighters bc the main teacher was sick plus 2 other beginners that r learning faster than me) lookimg at me and trying to give helpful pointers and me still doing it wrong... H8 dis feeling bc i kinda freeze up instead of being able to take the tips n try again. Its hard for me to translate input like verbal instructions and demonstsations into my own movements as is. In this state i cant do anything properly and i feel the cryings abt to start while wanting nothing more than to MOVE ON NORMALLY. Well my eye started to get itxhy n teary so i excused myself to "take care of my contacts" (lie) (why am i even so ashamed that i feel i have to lie/make up excuses?? Bro???? That just made the situation Actually cringe?????? Im normally not an ashamed person and cryings just a state/expression but idk) so it was better for a bit until it wasnt. Then i full on cried in class while 2 ppl were actively showing me things/helping me do em right n everyone else kimda watched, kimda practiced. They did ask if i was ok and i said yes like a liar. So at the end of class i normally take the bus home with one of the other new guys but i today just didnt feel able to keep talking to him. So he also asked if i was ok/why i cried and i said i just do that under stress and why i am stressed (uni) so that was also a bit of a lie but only kinda. I said i was gonna go to the livrary instead (another lie, was gonna call my bf to calm me down abit n then take the next bus) so i did tgat n it kinda worked and this genius asked if i had eaten. Bruhhh of fuckin course im sensitive ive only had 3 baked goods all day and hadnt even noticed!!!!!! So then it all made sense, mans gotta get some freakin noursishment to keep their composure in swords class! So i went to another bus stop than normally bc i needed sth from the store and bruh the guy i normally take a DIFFERENT bus with is there (awkwardly votta tell hik i changed my mimd abt the library) and we talk a bit (i feel like i talk to him wayy too much in comparison to him, like we dont know each other that well at all, idek his real name and yknow. If he actually enjoys talking to me) and yea

So now everyone in the 14th century peasant larp class knows my terrible terrible secret:))):)