#bruh I just caught up with OP again

[fictiondotbored]

I'm very new to DND type of games, Baldur's Gate 3 is the first of this type i've ever played and so when I say this game is full of surprises to me and has managed to flabbbergast me more than once with its dialogue consequences and all, goddamnit i mean it

Aka: how i met Karlach and how she nearly squad wiped my whole party

So.. i picked up Karlach when I was just short of reaching level 4 and eager as I am I immediately put her in my party to then take care of her first quest: defeating those three people at the risen road cabin/house thingy. Arguably a stupid move as I didn't realise how fcking OP that one dude is with his sword move. He absolutely slaughtered my party, knocking down Astarion and Shadowheart. AND THEN HE DOUBLED DOWN and hit my boy AGAIN. I was gobsmacked and could only watch in pure horror as Astarion died. THE DISRESPECT i didn't realize that my companions could be decimated like that. I dreaded his next turn like nothing else as Shadowheart was throwing her dice to save herself right at his feet. Just having to wait a whole turn, knowing he could kill Shadowheart with one last swing, it was awful. Before i managed to kill him, he also knocked down dear Karlach, thankfully sparing Shadowheart.

When the fight was over I wanted to help up each of my companions one after another, starting with Karlach as she was closest to me at the time. We had dialogue and she got excited, burning the whole thing down. Now here's the kicker. I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT, i was still grieving my poor vampire and trying to figure out how to revive him when I caught fire and then out of nowhere, Shadowheart just died. Only then did i fcking realize that Karlach was unintentionally killing my companions and then she accidently killed herself too, in her own flames!

Brother.

I was just stunned, quickly ran out of the flames and just stood there for a few minutes. Just speechless and motionless. Once I stopped losing my fcking mind i started reviving them all, this time around leaving Karlach to revive last. Tell me why that woman then turned to my Tav and talked about "how they couldn't even lay a finger on her and how so nice it felt to let off some steam again" GIRLY YOU DIED WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DIDN'T LAY A FINGER ON YOU?? THERE WAS NO MORE STEAM TO BE HAD after killing yourself in your own fire

Anyway, Karlach is chilling at my camp for the time being, until i continue her personal story quests

Might write an actual oneshot about this because bruh, i went through a lot of emotions in that battle

[rennsdeaddoves]

journey to the west book one, thoughts

so this post is going to be really messy and jumbled, i will take my thoughts one chapter at a time. since this post contains all the chapters in book one imma but everything under the cut and warn ya'll that this is HELLA long.

ok so, before we get into it i just wanna let you guy's know that if the first 13 chapters seem like they have less it's because i only really started to do this on chapter 14 and had to go back through chapters 1 - 13 and look at the notes and tabes i left to gage my reaction to them. some of them have a bit more than others and some have like none at all.

that being said enjoy the absolute crack house that is my no cotext thoughts of Journey to the West volume one!

Chapter 1

monkey is born!!

and he's already being impulsive...

calling him the handsome monkey king is gonna go straight to his head

lier! you are a certified shit disturber and you know it!

ohhhhh so thats how he got the name Sun Wukong, gotcha gotcha

Chapter 2

the dao art seems real complex

love how they casually have the way to immortality written in this book lol

teaching a suicidaly impulsive monkey how to shape shift and fly wasn't a bad idea at all!

he's showing off- of course he is-

aaaaaand he got kicked out for showing off! idiot-

oh damn- thats actually sadder than i thought it would be...

HE CALLS THEM LITTLE ONES!!! CUUUTE!!!!

HOW DARE!?!?!

Chapter 3

holy hell....

op much???

not a monkey scaring a dragon ffs

he is just a menace this entire page! LAMO

GOD DAMN-

THEY WANT HIM OUT SO FUCKING BAD XDDDD

bruh-

ooooooop foreshadowing alert

THATS BULLSHIT!! THEIR EXAGERATING THE HELL OUT OF IT!!!

oh- oh he really fucked up the life and death cycles- damn...

smart!!!!

he was thinking of paying a visit to heaven himself?? without an invite?? oh- that would not have ended well-

Chapter 4

here we go! first rampage through heaven!!

deva

NEZHA!!!!

ITS GIVING "who's this sassy lost kid?" VIBES XD

Chapter 5

does he not have a reputation yet???

Wukong is in so much fucking trouble oh god....

idiot

going to war over wine is a very Wukong thing to do-

Chapter 6

when did Nezha get here?

shapeshifter duels man... they be confusing af

oop he got caught-

Chapter 7

they seem to have forgotten what the meaning of immortal is

oop- he's being refered to as a monster instead of a king by the narrator- thats how you know he's pissed beyond all belief...

OH HES MAD MAD

HOLY FUCK

"i have to go exorcise a demon to defend the throne." pg 193

"he ligit just wrote "sun wukong was here" oh the fucking finger lmao

man... calling the banquet that is just salt in the wound.... really it is...

Chapter 8

sandy's got green skin, red hair, noted

it's pigsy -n-

he flirted with Chang'e..... this bitch

i already can't fucking stand him

Chapter 9

so he does have parents! lets see if they ever pop up again-

WHAT!?!?! WHY!?!!

Chapter 10

i didn't take in a sing thing that this chapter sad.... why is it even here-

Chapter 11

no thoughts head empty, why are we still on this? is there any plot relevance or???

Chapter 12

awwww their cute

good for him, coming from such humble beginnings

wow- ok thats kinda a really great honour to be called brother by the emperor

Chapter 13

lots of scenery! neat!

wft....

oop divine intervention o'clock

abuse???? hello??? what the actual fuck sir???

COWARD!!!

i am going to get so sick of him so quickly....

WUKONG!?!?!?!!!!! YER BACK!!!!!! YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 14

wukong- bud... YOUR FUCKING FILTHY

yell that your not lying makes you less believable

HE'S NAKED?!?! OFC HE IS

brutal.... nice

ight show off, keep rambling about the shit you can do.

gay? /j but fr- i get that a naked monkey coming to your door may be a cause for concern but there was no reason to disrespect him like that-

he has a son??? when???

gross man- like i get you were trapped under a mountain- but gross

brutal... nice

EXCUSE YOU WHAT?!?! NAH, NAH HE DID NOT

A FEW WORDS?!?! FAM YOU READ HIM FOR A WHOLE PARAGRAPH SHUT YOUR MOUTH

thats not teaching tripitaka- a lecture is NOT teaching

GUAINYIN IS HERE!!! oh... Guanyin is here...

oh... fuck...

why is his name just 'Pilgrim' like i get it but i also don't... idk

oh he's gonna do it out of spite now for being called a bogus immortal by the dragon king

that entire painting is just of two gay lovers putting on shoes and getting immortality for it

well, he actually is really convincing, i can see why Wukong went back after those words...

yeah i'd be taken aback too bud

.......YOU COULD FINISH THE JOURNEY RN.... but he won't, that defeats the entire porpoise of it all

THIS BITCH!!!! I WILL ACTUALLY KILL HIM

HE ONLY STOPPED CAUSE I WAS AFRIAD THE FILLET WOULD BREAK

ON GOD I WILL THROW HANDS WITH A MONK I WILL

HE STARTED UP AGAIN?!??!!? STOP!!!!

OH OH! so you stop when you see how the pain is LITTERALLY TEARING HIS BODY APART! fuck you

HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO KILL HIM!?!?!?!? oh my god- i mean.... jesus.....

yes. its a great idea to go to the south sea and beat up the goddess who did this to you... super smart /s

all thoughts of disobedience and rebellion? no shot

Chapter 15

ah yes, lets start the chapter with Wukong hauling ass to save Tripitaka

Jesus them some powerful eyes

omg SHUT UP

YES YELL AT HIM WUKONG!!!

namby-pamby??

lawless lizard XD

harsh

they talk about him like he's not the son of a dragon king...

OH SHES PISSED AT HIM

so he's called 'third prince Jade dragon' gotcha

he's a fucking idiot

why are you being such a baby all of a sudden??

neat, he got the get out of danger free leaves now

if Rue had been in this part of the journey she would have been pretty interested in that

plot armour be like-

impressive

more divine intervention! oh my god-

so now it's early spring. jesus that means its almost been a year

Chapter 16

i don't know wether to be annoyed or what- were only a page into this chapter

"he may be ugly" BITCH WHAT

yeah... ight... i'd be annoyed with him too

somesones butt hurt that hes oooooold~

everyone is starting to get on my nerves like jesus-

wow the murder plots are real

he askin' for favours like he didn't just beat their asses 500 years ago

he's a little arsonist

LMAO UNO REVERSE BITCH

damn- he's already on shockingly good terms with him

HE SAVED YOU AND YOUR GONING TO PUNISH HIM FOR IT!?!?!

I'M GOING TO THROW HANDS WITH A MONK ISTG

and after all that your response is still murder??? really????

goddman.... he so mad he defiled a corpse- that wasn't very buddhist of you tripitaka

Chapter 17

not tripitaka using wukongs temper against others-

jesus christ man

"thunder god mouth" XDDD best way to describe it 10/10

THE THREATS

XDD the arrogance!! he called the demon "my son" before starting a lecture XDD

he gets annoyed when people call him the BanHorsePlague now, thats so fucking funny to me

he's so real for that though, i'd wanna eat in the middle of a fight too

he is actually a menace to humans goddamn

HE REDUCED THE DEMON TO A BURGER

love how their calling him 'old carcass'

there is a lot of seemingly nice senery in this chapter

how'd they know all of that just by seeing a goddamn meat patty on the side of the road???

this is gonna be a pattern isn't it-

conversations with these two go no where but damn they do be giving me L O R E

he's being so nice now lmao

wft....

ok *fine* she gets a pass but jesus

GRAPHIC

jesus wukong

HA got'em

"don't start trouble again" "i won't" LIES

Chapter 18

oooooh this is the pigsy chapter!!! i can't wait to see some ass be beat!

i- i don't think i like these people...

Wukong really just said don't judge a book by it's cover

why does he always say "your poor monk" it's grinding my gears

"tell me everything!" .... "from ancient times-"

his surmname meant hog....

i can only picture that one manga panel in jjk where Yuta is dragging Yuji along lmao

ancient toilet humour?

"where are you going darling" he says as he returns to his original form

love that wukong is described and then called "virtually a living thunder god"

"i'll follow you to the ends of the earth" (menacingly)

Chapter 19

why do they all have caves?

it is pigsy

damn- Wukong's reading him

are they really throwing celestial law at one another??

he's bragging... really?

ah yes, a summary of the first seven chapters

he really said set your house on fire and follow me

man's really stripped him of all he was worth and then dragged him by the ear... he's like a mom...

HE'S REFERED TO AS IDIOT! oh this just got so much better

lmao both of them going "wine? oh we still drink that"

Wukong admitted to being a light weight XD

pigsy, trying to say a heart felt goodbye, the other two; hurry the fuck up

"you know him and not me? what kind of fuckery is this?"

"he insulted me and the pig?!" "how?" *proceeds to tell tripitaka exactly how he and pigsy were insulted*

Chapter 20

just by the title alone i know imma start to have beef with pigsy

they still call him idiot! YES

it's pigsy getting bullied hours!!!

that- that was a very round about way of calling him a dick Wukong

annnnnd he's boasting again...

huh? flying bricks, talking pots, and dancing tiles... interesting...

this old man has balls

"fix your ugliness" DUUUUUDE

i'm about to highlight each and every time Pigsy is refered to as Idiot! shits too funny!

ahhhhh pigsy's first kill steal!

OH SHIT NVM

dude just ripped off his own skin! what a power move!

jesus-

and we get to the first time tripitaka is truely captured!

"for you culinary pleasure" XDDDD why is that so funny?

this guy's actually quite smart for that

damn...

good wisdom wukong

i love how wukong is so often describes as "the one with the thunder god mouth and hairy face"

he's got a good sense to be this scared of him

monkey-monk?? (why is that so funny to me???)

he just told wukong he was a 'buy one get one free sale'!! AND HE'S THE FREE BIT XDDDDDD

KILL STEAL!!! +1 for butality, pigsy's score is now -99 points!

Wukong actually let him have credit for the kill? goddamn- is that character growth i see?

Chapter 21

no he does not!

Aqua man?????

Really?? *face palms*

why does he insist on calling himself grandpa?

is he about to disapline him like a grandpa too??

Coward

the divine wind of Samādhi? like the Samādhi fire? NEAT!!!

more divine intervention i see

the trend of calling pigsy an idiot continues and i am thriving in this enviornment

can he be any less annoying?

*crybaby beings to play on loop in my head*

idiot

it was the fucking gold star of venus

very humble wukong

lawless ape! XDDD

love that offending the great sage is quite possibly a crime punishable by death now

Chapter 22

its sandy time!!!

wouldn't that be qualifies as an inland sea?!

i don't know how to feel about that entire passage

cloud surfing lessons

he called Wukong his assistant- oh boy if he had heard that...

he can be there in half an hour?! wild...

sandy is aquired

Chapter 23

still love that his nickname is practically idiot

please- stop refering to your staff as a rod- i can't take reading "you'll get a ___ from this Huge Rod!" anymore T-T

you fucking idiots- your banter has now left the master stranded and he's gonna get captured by demons!

serves you right

Wu kong being so shocked he actually acted poliet?

Unreal and nonexisting- well those are some red falgs if i've ever seen em in this book

SHIT JUST GOT SO MUCH FUNNIER OMFG

she just keeps going!? dude- please- how can someone have so much

omg- this is all a test of character isn't it...

tripitaka; wukong you stay! Wukong; the fuck you mean me!? make pigsy stay

the entier latter half of this page pisses me off. fuck you pigsy

OH EW! SEVEAR ICK- GROSS

I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU GREEDY WHORE

I KNEW IT WAS A TEST OF CHARACTER!!!!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!!

Chapter 24

serves him fucking right

i agree with Wukong, leave the pig and go

holy hell they haven't even covered one tenth of the distance yet?

this is the chapter that that one monkey king animated movie was about.

to cowardly to do it himself so he's gotta wait for Wukong lmao

thus begins an entire two-ish pages of Wukong stealing fruit again

Wukong makes me nevious frfr

if it were so embarissing maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place

Chapter 25

wukong.... buddy.... no.....

good plan boy's

dude can pick (break?) locks.... good to know

why do you fight first and ask questions later....

he escaped thrice, got catpured thrice, kept playing tricks..... dude just wouldn't fucking stop....

[swirlyswirls]

im so sorry this is random af but your zosan art with the "sorry man im a dude" dialogue is SO GOOD but i've been searching where it's from and I can't find it at all?? where is it from? :O LOVE YOUR ART THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING IT

*raises from the dead*  lol I think you’re asking about this post (?). To be honest, it’s been a few years now, I totally forgot what inspired me to come up with that. I just thought it would be funny to see Zosan if Zoro was hitting on Sanji while he was completely comfortable in his skin while crossdressed. 

Thanks for dropping by!

[ptergwen]

truth serum

a/n: ok ok ok i've had to post this four times now because it won’t show up in tags for some reason? i’m so :/ tumblr pls stop setting me up bruh. but moving on here’s a summary of the original request and i hope ya like

warnings: little bit of cursing here and there

-

when tom asked if you‘d be interested in going to a comic con with him, there was only one answer: yes. you‘ll take every chance you get to see him in his element. you’re looking forward to checking out some of the cool exhibits they’ll have — and people. comic con is a safe space for all your nerdiness. so really, both of you will be in your element that day.

the only thing you’re uneasy about is tom’s fans. you have no idea how they’ll react to seeing you by his side for hours on end. paparazzi caught you together once or twice, but you couldn’t tell much from their blurry pictures. that didn’t stop everyone from talking.

you’ve been named his new “mystery girl,” and tom still hasn’t adressed the whole situation. no matter how much he loves his fans, he’s not willing to spill every single detail of his personal life. spending time with his girlfriend doesn’t need some big explanation to please the public.

this is the first time you know for sure that you’ll be seen with him. comic cons are huge, and somebody always has their phone out at these things. you don’t want the fans to end up hating you for being there, or tom for bringing you. the way he sees it, they should just be happy he’s happy. anyone who isn’t never truly cared in the first place.

tom usually arrives early to go over his schedule and any last minute details. this time, he’s sleeping in a few hours extra with you. no one knows better than him that all day events can be draining. he wants you well rested and feeling good for it. since people are already at the venue, you’re using a different entrance to avoid getting mobbed.

“stay close, okay? i’m not sure what it’s like in there yet. might be a few people by the door, or a crowd.” you’re walking hand in hand with tom through the back lot. he feels you tense up next to him at the mention of a crowd. they overwhelm the hell out of you, and you’re suddenly feeling way underprepared for this.

“but we’re going in through the back. how are they gonna know that?” you grip his hand tighter without realizing. tom half smirks at your question and leads you over to the door. “my fans figure everything out... almost everything. you ready?”

shrugging your shoulders, you lean into his side for comfort. “sort of. i’m just getting nervous about being around so many people.” “i know, baby. not gonna lie, it’s pretty scary at first. but i’ll be with you the whole time.” he presses a quick kiss to the side of your head. you do feel better knowing he won’t leave you alone when you get inside.

“just try turning your nerves into excitement. it works for me every time. “i’ll do my best. i guess we can go in for real now.” tom’s thumb brushes over yours reassuringly, looking at you once more for any signs of doubt before he opens the door.

only a couple of fans notice tom is there, so it’s not as hectic as you thought it would be. he waves to them and says hi, a smile lighting up his face. you chew your lip nervously and let him take you to where he needs to be. obviously, you get a few stares. some pointing, some whispering. they’re all things that come with being pressed into tom holland in front of thousands of people.

tom brings you over to the check in area and gives both of your names. a woman with a headset on hands him two ID cards. he thanks her before pulling you aside so you two can have a moment of privacy.

“how is it so far? feeling okay?” his voice is soft unlike the yelling around you, which is nice. tom slips the lanyard with the ID over your head. “i’m getting used to it. i don’t know how you do this almost every day,” you admit, tugging on his own lanyard that he’s holding. he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“i’ll tell you what, it’s a lot easier when you’re with me,” he mumbles into your ear, using that as a way to subtly leave a kiss to the skin. the little things like that are what will keep you together throughout the day.

a man with a headset and planner comes up to tom. why are so many people wearing headsets? he reads off tom’s plans for today, then ushers the two of you over to do meet and greets once tom has everything down. tom already called and explained that you’d be joining him, so he had it arranged for you to sit with the photographer and watch.

that’s definitely going to get people curious. he doesn’t mind too much, as long as it makes the experience more comfortable for you.

“i’ll be right over here. you’ll tell me if you need anything, yeah?” tom gazes out at the long line of fans waiting to see him, meeting your eyes after. “don’t worry about me. go give your fans some hugs.” you squeeze his hand and smile to let him know you’re okay. he smiles back even bigger before going over to greet the first person they send over.

this set up is way better than what you’d expected. you get a front row seat watching tom do silly faces and poses, and he can check in with you from time to time. there’s the occasional “who is that?” or “is it true that you’re dating her?” question from someone nosy.

tom responds with something along the lines of “that’s y/n. she’s a really lovely girl. she’s super awesome,” followed by a wink only for you to see. you find yourself having to hide your blushing face from all of his antics.

after about two hours, tom gets a break from photo ops. he decides to use the time to do whatever you choose, since you’ve been watching him for a while. you just walk around until there’s an announcement that a hypnotist show is about to start, and anyone can attend. you’ve never seen people be hypnotized in person, and it sounds like it could be fun.

tom lets you pick the seats. you end up towards the front for a closer look. his hand rests on your thigh as soon as you’re both seated, missing being able to touch you all day. you lace your fingers with his and watch as the show starts.

you’re both having a good time, laughing along at all the different segments. the guy hosting it is really entertaining. “now, let’s move onto a part of the show i like to call ‘truth serum.’ it’s simple. i’ll choose a member from the audience and get them to spill their guts for all of you, about anything i ask. who shall it be?” he rubs his chin and looks around the room.

he makes eye contact with people around you. you’re regretting getting seats in the third row. you pray he won’t call you up, but that would be too convenient. “ah!” he claps his hands together, gesturing to you. your mouth runs dry. “thanks for volunteering, come on up!”

you look at tom, silently asking if you should. “go on. i kind of wanna see this,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you devilishly. clenching your jaw, you walk past him and onto the stage. the hypnotist taps a chair for you to sit. you just had to be the lucky person he chose. “can we get a round of applause for...” he holds his microphone down to you.

“y/n,” you say into it, your voice coming out shaky. there are at least two hundred people staring up at you right now. “y/n!” he repeats. “everyone put your hands together for this brave soul.” the audience claps, tom cheering the loudest among them all.

“so, y/n. you seem excited to be up here,” the man jokes. tom watches with amusement as you give an unsure smile at the audience. “is it that obvious?” you get a few laughs. maybe this won’t be the train wreck you’re anticipating.

“extremely. y/n, i want you to look at your right hand for me.” he takes a step back, you doing as he says. “focus on your fingers and how they’re curling towards you. keep focusing. notice how you’re feeling more and more relaxed.”

everything he’s saying is actually happening. wanting to remember this, tom takes out his phone and starts recording. “bring your hand over to your forehead. let yourself feel the skin to skin contact. just like that.” you’re starting to feel sleepier. “and close your eyes.” the hypnotist snaps, and there’s silence throughout the auditorium. “you’re in a deep sleep. well done.”

you’re completely passed out with your head hanging low. everyone claps again, gasping and chatting to each other. tom is one of the gaspers. “y/n, you just guzzled a whole can of truth serum. you’re an open book. you love to share. when i snap again, you’ll wake up and answer whatever i ask you. truthfully,” the hypnotist tells you.

he waits a moment, then snaps his fingers. your head immediately snaps up. more gasps. tom puts his hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter at whatever you’re about to say.

“good morning, y/n. how are you doing?” “stiff. my neck hurts a lot for some reason,” you answer honestly, rubbing the back of it. the hypnotist has a smug grin on his face. “very good. we’re going to start off with some basic questions to see where you’re at. they mirror the five senses. y/n, what’s your favorite thing to hear?”

“my boyfriend’s voice. oh my god, and he has the cutest hiccup laugh,” you clasp your hands under your chin. tom is glad his phone is hiding his face so no one can see his cheeks turning pink. “hiccup laugh?” the hypnotist makes a face. “it gets stuck in his throat sometimes. it’s actually so cute.”

“what about your favorite smell?” “oh, that’s an easy one. sandalwood.” you casually reveal to the audience. “tell us why you like sandalwood so much, y/n,” the hypnotist prompts you. “it’s the scent of shampoo my boyfriend uses.” tom practically melts when he catches on. all your favorite things so far are related to him.

“i think we should skip ahead and talk about that boyfriend of yours. you seem to really love him, huh?” “more than anything. if you were planning to ask about anything else that’s my favorite, i’d say him.” there’s a big “awwww” from the whole audience, tom included.

“isn’t that sweet? where is your boyfriend right now, y/n? i’m sure he’d want to hear this.” “he just did, he’s in the audience.” you tell the hypnotist as if he should already know. tom’s lovestruck smile fades away. he hopes the hypnotist realizes it’s too personal to make you keep talking about something like this.

you have no control over what you’re saying, and it’s not going to end well. “why don’t you point him out for us so we can give him a big round of applause?” scanning around for tom with bright eyes, you get out of your seat. you point at him. “he’s right there.”

the whole audience turns to look at who you’re pointing to. tom lowers his phone, his mouth open in shock. everyone starts shouting as soon as they notice it’s tom. you’re confused over what the big deal is, since you’re still not fully yourself. the hypnotist realizes the mess he just caused, quickly sitting you down again to bring you out of it.

“y/n, i��m going to snap again. when you wake up this time, all the truth serum will be out of your system,” he says just to you over the noise, tom sinking down in his seat to avoid questions. the man snaps his fingers. there’s silence like the first time, everyone waiting to see what you’ll say.

you have no memory of anything that happened a few seconds ago. all the eyes on you are freaking you out. “wh- what did i say?” you ask him, biting down hard on your lip. his eyes dart over to tom. he speaks to you without the microphone. “you told the audience about your boyfriend.” it takes a second for you to register what he said. then you see tom down low in his chair, and you’re humiliated.

for yourself, but mostly him. you can’t believe you exposed your relationship in front of all these people. you run off the stage and out of the auditoruim, too embarrassed to say anything else. tom doesn’t hesitate to chase after you.

you’re breathing hard and fast, stopping somewhere there aren’t too many people around. your mind is racing while you try to figure out what’s going to happen next. someone puts a hand on your shoulder. it’s tom. he turns you around to face him.

“fuck, i- i’m so sorry. i don’t know what was going through my head, i shouldn’t have talked about any of that stuff. this is gonna be a nightmare for you,” you spit out all at once. tom only pulls you to his chest. he rubs circles around your back, trying to calm you down.

“it’s not your fault, angel. you didn’t have a choice about saying those things. you know that, right?” huffing, you hide your face in tom’s chest. “but still. i exposed us and i exposed you and now everyone knows something you didn’t want them to. you should hate me right now.” his lips press into a deep frown at what you’re saying. he rests his chin on your head and sighs.

“baby, i’m not mad. the only reason i wanted us to be a secret was for you.” you look up at him hesitantly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “so i didn’t destroy your whole career in two seconds?” “of course not. there have been way worse things i’ve had to deal with than publicly dating my really lovely, super awesome girlfriend. this won’t be easy, but i promise we’ll get through it together.”

you cheer up a bit hearing him repeat his words from earlier, nodding as you let yourself process everything.

“do you think anyone got me on video? or will they just post about what i said and everyone will believe them?” “i personally recorded the whole thing. not sure about the rest of the audience though,” tom proudly admits to you, making you groan into his chest. “great. that means we should probably say something before the twisted versions of the story come out,” you reason.

he considers it for a moment, and you can see when a lightbulb go off in his head. “what if i officially introduce you to some fans at my next round of photo ops? tell them about us, see how it goes. then we can decide what our next move is.”

it’s a huge relief that he’s taking this slow and giving you a say on how to go public. feeling brave, you peck his lips as a thank you. he’s surprised at first, but kisses back. he can finally see why those annoying pda couples exist. his arm takes its place around your shoulders again, yours going around his waist this time.

“let’s go share our not so secret relationship with the world.”

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Bank Shot Job

leverage 1.05

I decided I’m also going to start highlighting meta material in these posts for reference reasons (like for fics, headcanons, meta, etc)

I’m colorcoading by what character the meta pertains to btw

Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.

Judge Roy: [slaps her ass] Hey, sweetheart.

Frank: Can I help you, your honor?

Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?

Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.

Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister

diSgUsTiNG

- - - - -

Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.

Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal before you can rip them off.

Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?

Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town

I wanna see that domestic shit of them sharing hotel rooms and eating the continental breakfasts and dingy diners and everything about them living in rundown hotels for two weeks

- - - - -

Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.

Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper on fire in trash can)

that’s it. that’s their relationship.

- - - - -

Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?

Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed

bruh those props ??? I wish I had a screenshot but wtf where they DOING for the con ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?

Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son of a bitch

eliot is so good you guys im-

- - - - -

Nate: Get out. Now.

Hardison: Is he talking to us?

Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to us.

Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?

Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.

Hardison: What?

Parker: Sophie was still in there

parker knows nate loves sophie and would never leave her behind because she may not always get people, but even she can see how much nate cares for sophie

- - - - -

Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.

(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)

nate threw his fucking toothpick

- - - - -

Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...

(Eliot crosses police line)

Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.

Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.

Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...

Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?

Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a gun before.

Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?

Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.

Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?

Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...

Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are

at, you know?

Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.

Deputy Arnold: Thank you

poor deputy arnold + eliot being done with local law enforcement

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan

“what’s the plan, stan” adorable.

- - - - -

(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)

Eliot: Nice ride.

Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)

Hardison: What?

Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside, 1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.

Hardison: Seriously

parker was so angry that she chucked the binder at eliot and he was like ??? we good ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,

Sheriff ...

Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.

Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of Chupacabras.

Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.

Hardison: You're adorable

I love it when hardison fucks with people it’s hilarious

- - - - -

Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?

Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.

Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?

Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.

Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.

Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

Bill: We're just going by the book.

Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.

Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.

parker is doing so well with grifting considering and I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.

Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.

Sophie: I am a thief.

Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.

that’s it guys. that’s the show.

- - - - -

Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?

Parker: There's a first time for everything.

her SMILE YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

Parker: The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.

Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?

Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building

the way she looks at hardison like damn boy you know my stuff

- - - - -

Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.

Eliot: What's that?

Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.

Nate: We can't worry about that now.

Hardison: When do we worry about it?

Nate: In about 45 minutes

hardison, internally: lord give me strength

- - - - -

Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas. One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously? Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,

(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)

Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate. Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch, somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving. Everybody get out. Go. (hardison points at an officer) You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.

I fucking loved this monologue,,, hardison is VERY GOOD at improvising

- - - - -

(Derrick opens night deposit box)

Parker: Hi.

Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.

Parker: Yeah, I know.

Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.

Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get

parker’s face softened and you can see that she understood. parker didn’t get people in the beginning of the show, and sure her values and ideas aren’t typical, but she was ALWAYS a good person. she cared and understood what was at risk and she consoled him.

also, this is yet another piece of evidence that parker was the main character all along!!! I’m not gonna go super into it because there are already posts out there about it, but she had three (3) episodes dedicated to her character in season one alone AND had her say what is basically the mission statement of the show here in this scene

- - - - -

Sophie: Things could be worse.

Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?

Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.

Nate: I know.

Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just saying.

Nate: Yeah, you're right.

Sophie: Okay

nate knows sophie is a strong independent woman and that is one of the only things I stan about him lol

- - - - -

Sophie: We lost communication.

Nate: Yeah, we did.

Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...

Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.

they ended up doing great on their own, but also, can we acknowledge what a glow up it was building up to the rundown job ???

- - - - -

(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)

Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...

Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his knee)

Meth #2: AAHH!

Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer. (throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more, kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her gag)

Mom: Who are you?

Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.

this entire fight scene always has me ROLLING it’s so funny

also I’m not sure if this should go on the List Of Non-Weapon Objects Eliot Uses As Weapons but eliot DID use the car door in the fight

- - - - -

Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.

Judge Roy: And give up my leverage

*sophie and nate look at each other*

both, internally: tHATS OUR WORD

- - - - -

Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright

Derrick: Your people ... they're good?

Nate: Yeah. The best.

nate’s smile when he says that??? proud dad alert

- - - - -

Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.

Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.

Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!

in other words: age of the geek, baby

also- kudos to 2008 hardison editing video like that. I can’t do that shit with today’s tech lmao

- - - - -

Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.

Taggert: Do you have any idea what?

Mcsweeten: Just go with it.

Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?

Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.

Taggert: Damn, we're good!

mcsweeten and taggert stumbling onto the leverage crew’s cons and directly profiting off of them is iconic. they have no idea. too pure for this world

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.

Parker: Whatever.

Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.

Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.

Sophie: Well, it's a good start.

proud mom!sophie + grifting parker

Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!

Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.

Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?

Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.

Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.

eliot casually stitching up nate’s wound bc no hospitals but also can we talk about how much nate has to trust eliot to literally operate on him

+

nate giving praise to hardison ??? rare af I don’t know her

[mincedliveblog]

Kingdom Ep2 

I was like “why flashback” but oohh its to establish Blackarachnia as a little liar. I see :3

Wait why did Thundercracker say to Dinobot that they caught one of his “Maximal pals” spying - how do any of the Decepticons know about Dinobot’s wavering loyalties? Did BW Megs just announce that to them upon introduction lol

Wow OP really asking the Preds to not rescue their teammate and look for the allspark first instead huh. Bold ask from someone who not only lost it in the first place but did so at the potential expense of their entire planet. Primal right to be pissed off with this guy.

The way Bumblebee has to make the appeal and only after the BW crew mentions they are the last five (six) of TWO HUNDRED GUYS... 

And then OP still only gives them a strike team. AND drops an annoying “have faith” line. Primal did you maybe wanna wail on this guy again. 

Pretty sure when Primal says “Thanks for the backup” its supposed to be read as sincere but I’m choosing to read it as annoyed at how OP was being condescending about the whole thing. The voice acting is bad enough that I can do what I want.

Okay as much as I’ve been smack talking the voice acting BW Meg’s little “yess” when yelling at Dinobot was not the worst I’ve heard. Also lol @ Dinobot being like “I’ve always been loyal to you” honey we SAW the flashback scene when you tried to talk Blackarachnia into helping you give the disk back. Do you not remember that. 

Dinobot: “I have to follow orders.” *zaps Airazor* Okay first off 1) Megatron at no point ordered you to do that. He was just zapping her for fun two minutes ago and 2) HES NOT EVEN THERE IN THE ROOM HE LEFT. NO ONE IS THERE DINOBOT. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO DO THAT. 

BW Megs making all these anime “Uwha” noises like bruh

Okay I SWEAR im not trying to be down on the Beast Wars stuff being any different from the original considering I lit the past two series up for just copying their tf homework assignments but having BW Megs be kind of a kissass at worst and just genuinely loyal to OG Megs at best is... an interesting choice. 

Wheeljack and Rhinox working together to power the Ark back and Wheeljack being small next to Rhinox uwu

“The planet’s wildly varying terrain has been proving hard to navigate for some of us” says Arcee, while in robot mode. Girl did you even try to you know. Transform. The maximals look to be running over 3ft hills at best. I bet Elita One wouldn’t have this problem.

 Speaking of, where is she I wonder... are they going to cut back to her at any point? Missing the smartest girl in the room.

The allspark just being this floating Navi looking thing... again I’m not going to look back at the wiki but uh. Pretty sure it didn’t used to be like that.

IT BECAME MANGUS’S HEAD OKAY. Then quicksand... then Megatron is in the Nemesis’s captain’s chair and wakes up and rips the Matrix off? Okay. What am I missing. Was that a Matrix dream?

Dinobot explaining their time travel plan and its like whoosh right over my head. Its not going to make sense I’m not even going to try and make it make sense. 

Airazor [referring to Predacons vs Maximals] “It doesnt have to be binary” we stan a gender non-conforming queen

Haha jokes but really she is in a pretty traditionally feminine role... gets kidnapped... strong empathy... using emotions to sway others... I don’t actually remember hardly any of her personality from beast wars other than how she dates Tigatron so maybe its a carryover... sorry girl. 

WHY DID RATTRAP TURN BACK INTO ROBOT MODE TO “HIDE” ON THE CEILING LAMP WHEN HE WAS PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF GOING BACK INTO THE LITTLE CREVICE HE WAS IN IN RAT MODE HELLO

“Starscream is a ghost” says Dinobot. Haha get it. Like G1, where he’s a ghost. Can’t believe it took this long. 

Also but where did Starscream get the cloaking he is using actually... feel like I missed that. 

Dinobot really choosing to team up with Starscream and Blackarachnia. Honey. Also unclear on how much Dinobot knows about the future and like timeline affects and whatnot... like I said I can tell the show isn’t going to get into it in a way that makes sense so I’m not gonna think too deeply about it.

Okay but the entire team just waiting outside while rattrap snuck in... and then getting captured... I gave OP shit but you know what I take some of it back. They didn’t need all those guys lol.

THE REAL ASTROTRAIN IS LIKE FOUR FEET BEHIND THE DISGUISED MIRAGE I don’t remember alot about Scorponok either but was he really that dumb? Sorry dude.

Rattrap’s button bit / the mention of the Predacon’s having the “high ground” / Arcee’s sigh as the Predacon’s came down the hill: slight chuckles for all different reasons.

Optimus busting all dramatic out of the brush to turn the tide of battle where did you even come from my dude.

ALRIGHT PRIMAL PLAYING 5D CHESS AND HAVING ORDERED AIRAZOR TO BE CAPTURED LMAO. The funniest is Prime just going “Hmmm” like you KNOW he’s thinking “fuck that was a good idea. devious. damn. wish i did that.”

Okay and now the matrix is back on Megatron’s chest... literally what was that scene where he threw it off huh? 

[pastagolia]

Songs that make me think of my boyfriend and why -

I don’t expect anyone to read this all the way through I just like making lists and wanna share a little bit of my heart

Caught Up In You by 38 Special - it’s one of those songs where the singer never expected to fall in love and then they met someone who changed their life and dragged them into the eternal bliss and obsession of love, and not to get too personal on main (she says at the beginning of a list of songs that remind her of her favourite person) but that is literally what happened with us. Both of us wanted to be single forever, but after meeting each other we changed our minds and immediately started planning for our future together

I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith - I asked him what song reminded him of me, and he sent me this all casual like “yeah I was lowkey thinking of you while listening to this sooo” and then I listened to it and actively cried

Hey, Leonardo by Blessed Union of Souls - see this one is just an amazing song because it’s all about how, as the chorus says, “she likes me for me" - not because of anything like looks or money or anything, but because of personality and the love in the soul, which as an asexual person I relate to real hard

The Boys of Summer by Don Henley - this is technically one of those break up songs that sing about a summer fling and how he thinks about her all those years later, but I love it because 1. it’s a beautiful song and 2. the first time I heard it was in the car with him on the way back from the first thing we went to as a couple. I sat next to him in his car holding his hand shielding my eyes from the setting sun, heading back to his house to eat dinner and play Minecraft, and it was just so amazing

Summer of ‘69 by Bryan Adams - one time we were sitting in the car and he said “bruh this is my favourite song because he says 69 lol” and now I laugh every time I listen to it (I laughed beforehand too but now the humour has a bit of love in it)

Photograph by Def Leppard - he made me listen to it because he liked the guitar solo and it is already a banger, plus it’s kind of  a love song (more like a lust song, but the lust is so easily disguised that I can sing it and still be all lovey without thinking about how this guy is basically wanking to a picture of a girl he likes)

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen - I showed it to him because I thought he’d like it and apparently it’s one of his favourite songs so we sat in the car together scream singing about fat bottomed girls (and it’s kind of funny because he really did pick himself a fat bottomed girl so it’s funny to hear him singing about it lol)

Mr. Rainmaker by Warrant - this is just the sweetest song, here is the sweetest bit - “Mr. Rainmaker, don’t waste your time, cause I’ve found a girl who is permanent sunshine” - and that makes me smile so bad because he is my permanent sunshine

Share Your Address by Ben Platt - see this song is just a beautiful proclamation of love and the intention of spending the rest of your life with another person, which obviously has me thinking about the loml

Temporary Love by Ben Platt - while we’re on this Ben Platt album, temporary love is what I listen to whenever things get hard because it is about a couple pushing through the struggles of being intimate with each other and sharing their souls - “leaning on somebody’s never easy” - and that is so true, and a reminder that he loves me even when I feel scared to let him

I’m a Believer by Smash Mouth - this is good for a couple reasons 1. Shrek is a meme and half of our relationship is memes and humour 2. it’s another one where OP never thought he’d fall in love

Smooth (ft. Rob Thomas) by Santana - one of the songs that he recommended to me, so I think about him every time I listen

Hooked On a Feeling by Blue Swede - I am in fact hooked on the feeling that he’s in love with me. I was never appreciated by people I wasn’t related to whilst growing up, and the best friend I made in high school ended up just using me, so the idea that someone is actually in love with me and not pretending or using me is so beautiful

Walk This Way by Aerosmith - again, not a love song, but it’s a song that we both love and is a whole ass bop. Plus, when we were in high school, whenever we were trying to motivate our group to stop standing around and start walking we would start singing this, so not only is it a connection between us but it’s also a memory of a time when we were just friends and both secretly crushing on each other

Jack & Diane by John Mellencamp - a song that I got from his playlist that slapssss, and that kind of has some stuff that makes me think about him and about us

Hotel California by Eagles - this is a rock ballad. I am NOT a fan of rock ballads. But this is one of his favourite songs that he sings all the time, so back when I had a crush on him, I sat down and listened to it a billion times until it was stuck in my head and I was forced to like it so that we would have something in common, and now whenever I listen to it I think about him and what I would do for him

Mama I’m Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne - this is another rock ballad but it’s one of his favourite songs so I conditioned myself to like it and now I love it and it makes me really happy, so particularly when the syncopated guitar comes in I think about him (no reason for the placement, I guess that’s just when I realised the song kind of went hard)

Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue - my music taste is heavier metal and more exciting music (Black Veil Brides, Motley Crue, Metallica, Warrant, ACDC, etc) and his music taste is more chill classic rock (Queen, John Mellencamp, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, etc). I like a lot of his music - I’ll listen to pretty much anything as long as I can bop to it (that’s why I don’t like ballads) - but he doesn’t really like my harder stuff. This is one of the songs he recently admitted to liking, along with Enter Sandman by Metallica, so now I think about him when I hear them

then there’s a whole list of songs that I got from his playlist that are actual bops and I listen to mostly because I like them (but like a little bit of him still pops up when I listen), and LOTS of songs that I can picture us dancing to together in the car, screaming the lyrics and dancing and laughing together.

honestly I think what we’ve learned from this post is that I am in love with him and everything makes me think about him.

anywho, if you actually read all the way through this, hi I love you and I hope you will have/are having an amazing day. thanks for humouring me and letting me geek out about the one person in this world who chose to love me and has continued to choose to love me every single day

I literally cannot stop talking posting typing thinking about it and about him, I know it’s unhealthy to be obsessed, and honestly I don’t think I am obsessed, but you have no idea how crazy it is to me that there is someone in this world who picked me. out of everyone else in the world. he had a crush on the prettiest most talented girl in the whole school, and she liked him back, but he chose me. and he keeps picking me. every day he wakes up and sends me memes and tells me he loves me and takes as much time as possible out of his week to call me and thinks about me all day and tries his best for me. and that is crazy. I spent most of my life being told that the only reason I existed was to make other people happy and my worth was determined by how I let people use me and that people loved me not because of who I am but because of what I can do for them. so the fact that there is someone in this world who lets me be me in all my needy attention-whoring glory and loves me because of it shakes me to the core every single time I think about it. 

and I can’t stop talking about it, I wanna tell everyone that stands still that someone is in love with me and chose me and doesn’t think that I’m annoying and thinks that I’m worth it just because I exist and not because of what I can do for him and I just wanna tell everyone everywhere that HE LOVES ME

okay that’s it, ya girl is gonna go to bed - if you couldn’t tell I sorely need it. sleep well, dear friends, and remember that life is beautiful, you are beautiful and worth it, and that no matter what kind of love you want - platonic, romantic, sexual - it is there for you and it will be more amazing than anything you can dream of

[jmblyajones]

Titans: E.L._.O 2x11

1. y’all see how the recap had Adeline say “they” and it showed Slade’s “discomfort”? y’all know what that meeeeans, we’re getting inTO it!!

2. OH MY FUCKING GOSH! WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO GAR?!! He didn’t say yes!! the audacity of this bitch! woooow. I’m ready to fight like..

3. BRUCE COMING WITH THE LOOKS, THE FACTS, AND THE TEA 👏🏾👏🏾 mmkay alazul we gon’ need your ass to pay attention now!

4. loving the core four on the title card :,))

5. everyone’s been talking about this whole Trigon situation and how Rachel isn’t in control because Trigon is in control. I wonder (if that is true) if this will cause Rachel to start heavily meditating and this chick she met would help her with that? (i’m trying to figure out this girl’s purpose lol)

6. LMAO i really thought kory was leaving 😂 but sis’s outfit though... sexy as hell PERIOD

7. what a cliché ass song lol... i’m literally bracing myself to see if dawns gonna sing again 😂

8. y’all can’t tell me that “hanged man” card didn’t look a little like comic book jericho, just a little

9. Y’all... these writers got me hot. Either kory and dick barely speak or they’re hooking up with other people. i’m packing up and LEAVING... y’all are not about to have me out here looking a fool. no ma’am

HOLD UP did she just say “which allowed me to discover new things... and love” ??

can i hold kory for like 5 minutes please?? 🥺🥺 ugh and that close up shot of kory, bellissima!

10. sooo... rose and jason just left to hook up and play heroes.. i hate to be that person but the last time we saw jason he almost tried to kill himself... homeboy needs mental help fr

11. aaaahahaha kory out here bopping her head! that’s my girl! rolling that neck like the rest of us!

12. see, ladies always gotta be the damn back bone to bring the family back together and slap sense into men because who runs the fucking world??

13. Donna and Dawn have irked the hell out of me, now they are leaving to save Gar and Conner, GREAT! but they are still riding on this high ass horse! Give me 5 minute alone with them pleeease!

14. is Rose really asking jason why HE is the asshole?? girl get the hell out of here 😂! bruh it’s like they are trying to be so damn comic book cannon but it just comes off corny, cringe and hella forced. and since when does jason speak so eloquently? lmao (it’s only because of how limited their interactions been this whole season that this is so hard to believe)

15. bruce vs dick, i love to see it. they got this old man out here kicking ass! ageism? we don’t know her. i can just imagine dick punching himself in reality through this whole scene lmao

(close enough haha) “bird of prey” y’all know the writers had some fun with that line 💀

16. AAAAAAWW SHIIIT!! LETS GOOOO!! Glad Dick came back down to Earth and took his recollection with him mmkay!! And i’m so glad we saw Slade’s ass signing!! This has me sooo hype y’all! (and shout out to people who caught on to Slade signing because they really only showed Slade signing for half a second and cut away quick, fast and in a hurry)

17. I SHOULD’VE STUCK WITH MY FUCKING GUT FROM THE BEGINNING!! I SAID ROSE WAS A FUCKING OP! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW INSTEAD OF TERRA IT WAS GONNA BE THAT ONE EYED BITCH!! I’M SOOO HOT RN!

(this begs the question, how did she know about the orange soda? slade could’ve known about ellis bc he was tracking them and dr. light tried to kill hank and dawn but the orange soda was before slade killed garth? donna seems to keep to herself. so how could rose have known about it to place the soda??)

18. Of fucking course right when kory and rachel get to the jail, the jail bird escapes smh.

19. Mercy Graves is one trifling ass bitch. I hate her with all my fucking heart. I hope this is worth it for her. I hope this evil bitch is happy with herself!

(i hope Eve can come back and fix gar back before the mind control bullshit! and possibly be the one to help him expand his powers!)

overall solid ass episode 9/10! the lighting and coloring at the diner scene was phenomenal! that was so damn perfect! not to mention when dick finally came to his senses and we saw him recollecting to slade in his chair, coming to the realization about jericho! i am really trying to figure out when will we get everyone fucking unified! I hope it’s next episode so that at the end of e12 it could be a cliffhanger of them still not working as a team... retreating, figuring out their shit in e13 and finally drop kicking slade and rose’s ass!

[vinca-majors]

Michaela Brown, ScaryMommy:

Upon graduating college with my hard-earned degree to teach high school English, I almost immediately began planning for  my graduate studies. Lots of high schools around the country require their teachers to have a masters degree, so that was a motivator. Plus, it came with a pay raise. And, I truly enjoyed going to school. In fact, at the time, I hadn’t ruled out going on and earning my doctorate as well.

I did end up graduating with my M.A. in secondary education, after writing a thesis I’m damn proud of. My path changed a bit and I never went on for my doctorate, but you can be sure as hell if I had that I’d claim that Dr. title. That my students—even the grumpiest of teenagers whose eyes shot daggers at me as I made them read Shakespearean sonnets—would be calling me Dr. and not Mrs. or Miss.

And as I’ve encountered other professionals with that Dr. title, I’ve never hesitated to refer to them that way. My children’s formal principal went by Dr. Matthews. No one questioned it. I’ve had professors at the undergraduate and graduate level use the title. Again, that’s what we all called them. With respect. And without hesitation. Just as we refer to famous figures like a man we’ve all heard of—Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.— because each of these people put in the work, the years, the money, the commitment, and the dedication. Each of them earned their Dr. title.

So yeah, when Dr. Jill Biden completed her education and earned her Doctor of Education (Ed.D) from the University of Delaware, she rightfully earned the title “Dr.” and deserves to be referred to as such. Just as any other professional with that level of expertise does as well. Is she a medical doctor? No. Does she claim to be? No. Have professionals in academia added Dr. to their titles once they’ve earned their doctorate for centuries? Yes.

However, because some ignorant asswipes remain stuck in 1950, or don’t understand how higher education works, or simply are bound and determined to hate on the Bidens as they hated on the Obamas even though they are kind and supportive of others—regardless of political party, her title is under scrutiny.

The Wall Street Journal stupidly published an op-ed, which has now gone viral, that was moronically entitled, “Is There a Doctor in the White House? Not if You Need an M.D.” And, of course, this piece of trash essay included a byline that reads, “Jill Biden should think about dropping the honorific, which feels fraudulent, even comic.”

Joseph Epstein, the “writer” of this ignorant word vomit, opens by condescendingly calling Dr. Biden “kiddo” and offering her advice, as if he is in any position to advise the First Lady of the United States on literally anything. “Madame First Lady—Mrs. Biden—Jill—kiddo: a bit of advice on what may seem like a small but I think is a not unimportant matter,” Epstein mansplains.

He then goes on to insult her dissertation on student retention at community colleges, calling it “unpromising” and, in the same paragraph, refers to the idiotic but commonly used quip that no one can call themselves “doctor” unless they’ve delivered a child.

Let’s break this bullshittery down, shall we? First of all, Mr. Epstein, your piece reeks of envy. We’re sorry you didn’t have the… guts? courage? stamina? intelligence level? (who knows) to actually ever earn a doctorate, but you sound bitter. It’s not a good look. Also, it’s clear that you don’t respect the value of community colleges, which is where Dr. Biden has spent a large portion of her career. And, finally, the world now knows that you are threatened by smart women. Bravo.

Also, we’ll be sure to let all the medical doctors out there who’ve tirelessly fought COVID-19 this year, holding the hands of dying patients, and also those brilliant scientists who thankfully have brought us a vaccine that offers a beacon of hope, that they don’t get to call themselves “doctor” because they’ve never caught a newborn baby. I’m sure they’ll appreciate that tidbit of info from you—*checks notes*—a man with one single undergraduate degree, no earned doctorate, and zero medical expertise.

Basically, Mr. Epstein, it’s obvious that you have some personal issues you need to unpack. Maybe take some time over the holidays to do a little self-reflection? Like, why do you even care what title Dr. Biden goes by? Why are you so scared of women who are more successful than you?

Your piece then goes on a long, barely coherent rant about “honorary doctorates,” which is not what Dr. Biden has. If you’d like to blast the validity or point of bestowing honorary doctorates on celebrities like Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers, for example, go right ahead, but that has nothing to do with Dr. Biden. This lack of cohesive argument is why I’ve referred to you as a “writer” a few paragraphs up, because it seems apparent that you don’t understand the need for basic textual support.

(Calling you a jealous asswipe, well, that’s just a reflection of your character.)

Finally, your last “supporting argument” (again, use of quotes intentional here) as to why Dr. Biden should drop her title is because apparently doctorates don’t count anymore. Back in the day, you explain, doctoral exams were far more grueling, but today’s candidates get off way too easy.

“One had to pass examinations in two foreign languages, one of them Greek or Latin, defend one’s thesis, and take an oral examination on general knowledge in one’s field,” your op-ed states. “At Columbia University of an earlier day, a secretary sat outside the room where these examinations were administered, a pitcher of water and a glass on her desk. The water and glass were there for the candidates who fainted. A far cry, this, from the few doctoral examinations I sat in on during my teaching days, where candidates and teachers addressed one another by first names and the general atmosphere more resembled a kaffeeklatsch.”

(I had to look up what kaffeeklatsch meant—it’s an informal social gathering at which coffee is served. Excuse my lack of knowledge there. I’m just a silly woman with a higher degree than you.)

And, as you end with, “Dr. Jill, I note you acquired your Ed.D. as recently as 15 years ago at age 55, or long after the terror had departed,” you not only insult her by addressing her as “Dr. Jill”, but you also imply that because she likely didn’t faint while taking her exams or defending her dissertation, that somehow her degree isn’t real.

That’s the crazy thing about education—it evolves. Today, kids even use these neat little things called computers! You wouldn’t believe it. Another way we’ve evolved is to realize that shockingly, our doctoral candidates don’t have to become physically ill to prove they are smart and worthy of their degree!

(I mean, you never even tried, Mr. Epstein, so I guess even today, doctoral programs are only for the toughest among us, like Dr. Jill Biden.)

Also, it seems that Northwestern University, where you were previously listed as “emeritus lecturer of English,” has scrubbed you entirely from their website, stating that it is “firmly committed to equity, diversity and inclusion, and strongly disagrees with Epstein’s misogynistic views.” Again, evolution! Change is good.

Hmmm. So one of you is a misogynist with no teaching history to even brag about as your previous employer has disassociated with you, and another is a successful educator committing to helping all Americans have access to a proper education. Oh, and the second one goes by Dr.

Looks like the real “comical fraud” is you, bruh.

And just so we’re clear, Dr. Biden has always been committed to ensuring that everyone (not just pretentious twats like you, Joseph Epstein) has access to a fair education. Earlier in her career, she worked in a psychiatric hospital where she taught English to adolescents with emotional disabilities. During that same time she also earned two (yes, TWO) master’s degrees, one from Villanova University and one from West Chester University. In 2009, after earning her doctorate, she began teaching English at Northern Virginia Community College, and advocating for community college education has since been her passion. “Dr. Biden has always said that community colleges are ‘one of America’s best-kept secrets.’ As a teacher, she sees how community colleges have changed the lives of so many of her students for the better,” explains former president Barack Obama’s White House website.

Sorry, Mr. Epstein, but not everyone can afford to enroll in an English class at Northwestern taught by a raging sexist who gets his balls in a bunch when women succeed. For many, community college is a better fit, and Dr. Biden is a big part of that.

“In 2012, she traveled across the country as part of the ‘Community College to Career’ tour to highlight successful industry partnerships between community colleges and employers,” the website goes on to say. “In the fall of 2010, she hosted the first-ever White House Summit on Community Colleges with President Obama, and she continues to work on this outreach on behalf of the Administration – frequently visiting campuses, meeting with students and teachers, as well as industry representatives around the country.”

Imagine all of the hard-working Americans Dr. Biden has helped by supporting community colleges. Future teachers just like her often get their degree while working full time, raising a family, and going to college at night. Who knows, some of them may even—gasp—go to grad school too. High school kids who choose to forego going away to a full-time university and instead, take classes at a community college closer to home, are given that option because of people like Dr. Biden. Kids who go on to be EMTs, police officers, technicians in trade industries, engineers, and find success in the business world. Or, they transfer those college credits to a larger university down the road when they have the means to do so. Single moms doing their best to give their children a good life often attend community college classes online, after their children are asleep, proving that they have the drive and determination to do more and be more.

So, what it all boils down to, Mr. Epstein, is that you really, really hate that there’s about to a woman in the White House who’s smarter than you. And not only that, but she inspires women everywhere to work hard, earn their degrees, and then they’ll be smarter than you too. Yikes. That’s a tough pickle to be in, Mr. Epstein. We’re sorry that you are so insecure and unhappy with your own lack of success.

At least you can still wrote those stellar op-eds though! Good luck with your “writing” career, kiddo.

[cchanhees]

for the meme, i'll send u a bunch of boys since this is your bg blog <3 shinee, seventeen, ab6ix, cravity, up10tion, stray kids

omg lemme insert a read more cuz this one’s gonna be long haha but yes!! thank u so much carly! :D

shinee;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no; ok,

who or what caught my attention; taemin! i’ve actually liked shinee since view/marriedtothemusic era! honestly, their title tracks are phenomenal and i love every one of them.

why i want to stan; songs!! all of their albums (that i’ve heard) are soooooo good!

what i already know about them; they’re legends! 

current favorite member; taemin :D

a question i have for veteran fans; hi, yes, how are all of shinee so talented and amazing? ;;;;

seventeen;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker; seungkwan + minghao + wonwoo! no bias wreckers, i am loyal to those three :) pls ignore the fact that hoshi is definitely rising in my svt bias list.

first time i heard of them; debut lmao

when i became a fan; debut! i followed them closely from adore u to i think...aju nice? i took a kpop break for a while so i fell behind D”:

favorite (and least favorite) title track; don’t wanna cry!!! :D least favorite is hit

favorite (and least favorite) b-side; oh! hm!

favorite (and least favorite) mv; home! hm, probably hit lmao im sorry i’m not a hit anti i just didn’t really vibe with the song

favorite (and least favorite) album; you made my dawn as favorite! i don’t listen to svt’s albums enough to have a least favorite D”:

ab6ix;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker; i bias daehwi but woong is a major bias wrecker D”: at this point in time, it’s probably safe to say i co-bias them. also, donghyun has been rising the ranks haha

first time i heard of them; daehwi cuz wanna one

when i became a fan; breathe era!

favorite (and least favorite) title track; breathe as my favorite! and, blind for love as my least? y’all, they only got three titles haha

favorite (and least favorite) b-side; red up + sunset! :D least favorite is deep inside

favorite (and least favorite) mv; favorite is the answer! least favorite is, again, blind for love.

favorite (and least favorite) album; vivid! blind for love is my least favorite, which i know is weird since it’s a full album and i enjoy a majority of the songs but like, bruh, b:complete and vivid are just superior

a concept i wished they’d try; i kind of want them to stick with this playful fun concept like they had for the answer a little longer pls, but i think they would totally slay at anything they wanna do.

what i like most about them; their group chemistry is fun to watch, plus their discography is amazingggg!

cravity;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker; taeyoung + seongmin! bias wreckers are allen and minhee!

first time i heard of them; x1 for the ex-x1 members, but lmao i’ve been with cravity since debut

when i became a fan; break all the rules

favorite (and least favorite) title track; flame is superior

favorite (and least favorite) b-side; sunrise or breathing! i also like jumper a lot too! least favorite is blackout

favorite (and least favorite) mv; cloud9 as the best, and flame as my least favorite.

favorite (and least favorite) album; the newest one lol

a concept i wished they’d try; space fantasy!! give me!! more space-aesthetic starship pls

what i like most about them; ok i haven’t really seen too much of them on variety shows apart from asc, but i am naturally drawn towards them because wjsn + monsta x’s junior group so obvi gonna check them out but then!! their music!! it’s so good!! i really enjoyed this latest comeback too, so haha looks like imma accidentally become a luvity soon

up10tion;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no D”:

who or what caught my attention; wooseok + xiao!

why i want to stan; they seem cool! i like some of their titles too!

what i already know about them; not much except title tracks and pdx101

current favorite member; i dont have one! D”:

a question i have for veteran fans; give me up10tion content, please

stray kids;  yes | only for the music | attempting to | no

my bias + bias wrecker; jisung! felix + chan are bias wreckers

first time i heard of them; hellevator

when i became a fan; astronaut is when i looked into skz more closely. before that, i was title tracks only

favorite (and least favorite) title track; god’s menu + miroh are my faves! i don’t really care about double knot tbh

favorite (and least favorite) b-side; can the tower of god op and ed count as bsides because i am obsessed with them. booster maybe least favorite?

favorite (and least favorite) mv; god’s menu is fun to watch ngl, but least favorite is probably also double knot haha

favorite (and least favorite) album; go live as favorite and i am you as least fave

[bluescarletdiamond]

2gether the Series Ep. 6 Commentary

YO Sarawat was leaning in for a real one so LETS GO

Section 1/4

I’m not ready

I already know Imma be a whole ass clown and it hasn’t even started

oh a replay nice

Sarawat is to cute to be mad

it’s a whole different shot O.O that’s crazy 

I KNEW I WOULD BE CLOWNED

Mans really knocked out smh lightweight fjfodgjs jk

Bruh how you gonna lie that those aren’t Sarawat’s things lmao

ope he’s been exposed

sir, why are you lying? Lying is BAD

Damn Sarawat really just gonna walk in and sit there, looking like a whole ass snack damn

oh he knows dude

Does this man not remember? LWJ vibes indeed (jk I know people blackout sometimes)

That makes me sad please go

Woah y’all see that Adam’s apple

Okay he looks soft here so I’m not that bothered by his presence, he actually looks a little cute but… his eyebrows are like so not proportionate to his face, like give some brow to Sarawat’s bro lmao

damn he smooth as hell

NEVER DID HE JUST CALL HIM A TROLL WTF

Now I want food no cap 

So he’s just gonna ignore Sarawat’s text huh… okay :/

is this like alcohol soup or something omfg

damn this man really exposing everyone

oh? A person with dark skin aight I see y’all I see

okay girl get it lmao

omfg I’ve seen him before I swear but like I honestly think his hair looks better down but I can’t remember and I hate that I can’t remember where he is from

Damn he grabbed him like he was gonna kiss him lmao

damn these boys and their freaking ultimatums 

He really missed Sarawat’s game huh

OH? or maybe not

Section 2/4

why he only got to go when mans is hurt :(

Ask someone dude

oh or never mind

Sarawat literally has my whole heart omfg

I was literally about to say how gentle Tine is doing it and then Sarawat said “be gentle” BRO WHAT 

How does he just say these things

The way Sarawat is looking up at him UWUWU

oh no, drinking always doesn’t end well

oh shit he caught on lmao

Sarawat’s friends are so different than him lol

That’s exactly what I was thinking and then his friends showed up

lmao Tine is so confused and it’s cute

MANS WENT OUT LIKE A LIGHT DUDE 

this is such a common trope omfg 

awww he’s so cute

IG  is crazy

NO IDSFHSD

I can’t believe he said “do it again” After Sarawat almost touched his dick

Tine is like “uhhh do I really want to”

damn, Sarawat and his brother really do be pinning and doing their best to get their lovers and I love it

WHAT THAT’S WHERE HE WAS I WAS SO CONFUSED 

oh what

now what is going on

no thoughts head empty 

this shit Is crazy

WOW ALL THOUGHTS HEAD FULL

Section 3/4

this show is so predictably unpredictable

NO GREEN DON’T CRY  y’all did not have to make him cry like that

I love sarawat’s speaking voice 

Sarawat stop lying brother

Tine is like “bro that shit hunted ngl”

“My friend” lmao bitch

Damn this dude do be speaking facts but like the easiest way is to just ask lmao

He really is just going to go to every seminar lmao

Fate would have this shit

he really tried lmao

Bet he waits for him to come out lmao

Sarawat is like “????”

TINE IS SO CUTE I CAN’T SDOFJO:SDJ MY HEART IS SURGING RIGHT NOW

HIS SMILE :)))))))))))))))

I know Sarawat’s heart is THUMPING

dang this dude say gay rights

“Nuisance” BITHOCIS IM

she switched sides real quick

OSDFJOSDJF AHHHHH 

IM SO UWUWUWUWU

That is so cute I’m going to go self combust

Dang he sang that right into Tine’s soul

Love how this shit backfired on Tine lol, I bet it’ll expose tine’s own feelings

ope and I was right 0.0

dude this man just flirts with everyone huh

AWWWWW IM DON’T LET HIM WALK AWAY

Section 4/4

I just saw the thumbnail for this section and I AM NOT READY

Mans better pull through:|

aw no :(

Now they’ve both seen each other’s feelings whilst drunk

imagine they kiss bro I swear Ill scream

He did it with no hesitation  awww

We love romantic flashbacks

Imagine that Sarawat actually did get their signatures for Tine ugh my heart will literally go uwu if that happens

This song low-key hits

THEM SMILING AND BEING HAPPY IS WHAT I LIVE FOR OMFG

ugh Sarawak is so attractive like wow 

I’m screaming on the inside they are so cute

OHSDFO IS THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME AND THE SOFTNESS 

huh

SDOFIJSD OMFG THEY MET AT A SCRUBB CONCERT I”M

why must they end it on cliffhangers every. gosh. dang. time!!! IT’S UNFAIR OMFG I literally cannot with the softness that they are

[honeykngdom]

Umm so now that anon brought up older sweetpea, ur gonna need to pop out some hella good headcanons about him :-)

bruh I have so many okay hold the fuck up we’re actually going to recieved a headcanon request and DO IT ON THE SPOT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. 

YEAH ITS GONNA BE ABOUT CAL AND SP BC THAT’S WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT IT IN MY IM’S WITH MY HOMIES, LETS GO SISTERS. 

so after high school, sweet pea and cal had to part ways due to circumstance. sweet pea, being the devoted young man he was, was unable to bring himself to apply anywhere out of state, whereas calliope still had a tight hold on York and was desperate to venture on from Riverdale. it was a heartbreaking decision, being in another country completely without any friends she had made, and alone once again. and she hated it. and she wanted to call him every day but couldn’t. she dated once - he was second year, but decided to change his major and needed the psych course for his co-op down the line. he had pretty blue eyes and a warm smile. they had coffee twice, and he kissed her before she left the car. it was very sweet, and soft, and while cal enjoyed it, it wasn’t what she was looking for. not the same passion, or aggression, or need. she used pea as an excuse for a few different boys that approached, and after the second week, she decided that pea wasn’t going to stop some of them, so she had resorted to bringing her RBF out and put headphones in. to avoid falling into old habits with her very 420 friendly roommate, she spent most of her nights in the library or at the gym. 

sweet pea took over cal’s position when she left; he started busting his ass being their newest bartender to haul in more women. and he did - of all ages, women would flock to his bar and lean forward, pressing whatever assets they had against the counter top with smirks and lusting eyes. he was uncomfortable at first; sure, women had always been a fan of him, that was no surprise. but it made him feel guilty. but when pea could afford an entire new wardrobe, pay his bills, keep the heat on in the trailer and keep gas in his bike for up to a whole week. so he started to wear his cropped sleeves, and went with fangs to their campus gym for runs and ass crack of dawn weight training. the glute pumps certainly benefited his tip jar - the routine stuck. he decided to major in business, mainly because cal had mentioned (all of one damn time, mind you) that he could probably run a business better than anyone else in the southside. fucking bet.

cal’s just graduated with a major in psych, with an econ minor and a degree in social services. her dream is to become a youth outreach worker; she wants to help work to prevent the increase in youth criminal activity by helping at risk youth. being with sweet pea had given her more than enough passion to want to help - hell, she had been an orphan herself. in and out of the foster system, group home to group home, etc. despite struggling to make just the bare necessities for himself, he had happily taken her in multiple times when she needed a place to go. fp had been that hand to steer him in the right direction - she wanted to do that, but with more kids. as many as she could, give them the drive and the hope to do better for themselves. give them the resources and guidance and offer them what they need. most of that in the area involved volunteer work at a local community center in the village, while working full time in an office as a receptionist. there’s a hot student support worker from a local foundation in the area that comes in three times a week, and he’s always chatty. his name is chris and he has a mischievous glimmer in his eyes when he leans forward and says she looked stunning; so she agrees to dinner (for the first time in four years) and goes on a date. she wears a tight red dress, modest, but the way it hugged her perfectly sculpted hips and ass was sinful. they hadn’t even made it through her door before he had her zipper undone and she moaning into his mouth; that was the first time she had gotten any since the day she left riverdale.  

your boy sweet pea? he started putting savings away when he was sixteen, and got his degree in business management and psych. he took out a loan with the serpents, bought out the wyrm and is in the progress of revamping for the younger gen. tall boy and FP were seriously impressed with the mans hustle, and so when FP finally retired, the gang was left to Sweet Pea and Jughead. Now, Jughead didn’t want to be the leader, or poster boy for the serpents, or even the main influence. But he was still very passionate about advocating on behalf of them, and in a way worked as a more giving, far more kind version of penny peabody. offering mediation and ensuring that everyone stays out of trouble in the background, while sweet pea became the voice, being as respected as he was. sweet pea stands at six foot five, and over 200 pounds of gloriously lean muscles. teddy and fangs are his main event planners and bar keeps, while he ensures the books stay balanced, the bar keeps to health code standards, and offers a safe haven to southside kids with no place to go (his heartstrings pulled when he saw a fifteen year old sleeping on a park bench and he thought of toni, maybe even cal.) sweet pea turned the upstairs area into individual rooms with two beds in each for those that couldn’t get home in their drunken states or didn’t have a place to go for the time being. he has an apartment in the southside in a relatively newer building (it’s pretty big compared to the trailer lbr). a new girl came to town, and happens to stumble upon the wyrm thinking it was just another bar - sweet pea liked her fiery spirit. she stayed for a few drinks, played him in a game of pool, and he later invited her up to his office. it’s been just over a year now; she stays at his place four nights a week, because she works as a nurse and tries to get overnights on weekends. 

fangs and sabine are getting married in a week and cal’s super excited for her best friend, but is also nervous. sweet pea would be there. they hadn’t spoken in years. not a single text, not a single call. and she was scared at the person she had returned to would remind him of why it was better that they had parted ways. he didn’t need to know she still thought about him every day, and still has every photograph saved on her laptop. but then her body warms at the thought of seeing him. to see if he had kept his curl, or if he had cut his hair. did he still wears so many god damn rings? so the day she lands and makes it to the boys house, she changes into a pair of ripped jeans and heels and walks her ass straight to her favourite bar 

he caught sight of the blonde hair from his office upstairs; curious, he stepped outside and looked down at her while she talked eagerly with teddy. after five minutes of wondering, he joined them on the main level; sensing his arrival in the quiet bar that tuesday afternoon, she caught his eyes and then paused, turning to face him fully. her hair was just as long as always, and maybe a little tamer, not as wild, but her eyes - those fucking blue eyes still wrenched his gut and gave him butterflies. her features had sharpened, complimenting the equally pointed RBF she had perfected over the years he was sure, and her body - well, sweet pea vividly remembered what he happened to favour the most about her body. his cock twitched in his pants, but pea remained collected. 

his hair was also still long, but it was pulled back now, held into a bun in the same way Teddy’s was. he had covered most of his right arm in tattoos, and she imagined they covered most of his shoulders and chest, too. his body had filled out, stretching his shirt snugly around his arms and chest. the way he says her name still makes her heart skip a beat and makes her want to destroy all her walls again. they shared a beer, he offered to take her out for lunch at pops - she agreed. they spent the day revisiting all the places they used to hangout. apart from pops, there was the quarry, sunnyside, the ruins were southside used to stand, and finally back to the wyrm. they split a couple of drinks, play some pool, and she joins him upstairs to hear more about how he had been. 

the pair had been actively avoiding getting too close throughout the day. hands were shoved into pockets, shoulders ever so lightly brushed against each other as they walked every once and a while, and they were able to return back to the kids they used to be. after a few hours, it were as though no time had passed at all. 

so you can imagine cal’s surprise when another blonde enters his office and calls him baby. 

Calliope Hobbs was one of those women that always got what they wanted, and worked hard to have it all. Sweet Pea would be no exception. 

[eeejay-blog1]

Good morning world and all who inhabit it

Okay I’m about 24 hrs post op now and I think I feel a lot better than yesterday. My head still feels a Snorlax high on opium but I think I’m getting a little tolerant to the meds now, so I can actually form complete sentences and shit without laughing or falling asleep mid-word.

Well since I’m semi-coherent, let’s run a systems check:

HEAD: Hoo boy. Even through all these drugs, I can tell there’s a bitch of a headache trying to cut through. It feels like the times I’ve tried to kick caffeine, but instead of only hurting when i move around or look at something bright, it’s a constant searing. They’re finally moving my bed up from flat, going like 10 degrees every couple hours, so hopefully it’s just my brain adjusting back to equilibrium.

THROAT: I haven’t seen a breathing tube the entire time I’ve been here, but I can tell they used one on me for the op. How, you ask? Well it feels like I deep throated an eggplant made out of concrete. Don’t ask how I know what that feels like, it’s poetic. 

BACK: The incision itself isn’t unbearable, it’s a bit like one bee that keeps stinging. The issue is, occasionally it flares up, and instinctively I’m like “stop laying on it bruh that’s why it hurts” so I try and arch my back or scoot around. Then all the muscles above it and in my shoulders are like “you know what would be funny? spasming” and everything gets super tight, pulling on the stitches and generally feeling fucking awful. Also, I’ve slept the same exact way every night for 22 years up until now: on my left side, slightly curled up like fetal position, one arm under my pillow, knees not touching. I literally can’t fall asleep unless I’m in that position. Well, the drugs make it easier to sleep for sure, but I still want to turn the fuck over. My neck can’t handle this straight shit forever.

STOMACH: Give. Me. Some. Damn. Food. The nurses said they have to wait until I fart until I’m allowed to eat (is that honestly written in a medical textbook somewhere? or are they just fucking with me) which is absolute torture because Nan brought a whole tray of baked mac n cheese and a pizza from a local place back home and like my stomach can sense that they’re nearby. Furthermore, pre-op, with the help of a lot of fiber and a little bisacodyl, I usually shit once every couple days. Add all this oxycodone into the mix though, and I honestly have no idea how long it’ll take. If Nan’s food goes bad before I can eat it, I’ll consider suing for malpractice.

LEGS: This is the weird part. It’s like they want to move, but I don’t want them to. But I actually do. I don’t know. Okay, I can tell they’re there; there’s a lot of twitching, and bubbly and itchy sensations, and I wanna stand up and shake it all out, but when my brain sends the message to the muscles to move together, the volume’s turned down. So like, if I say “hey thighs, let’s pick this foot six inches off the bed” they reply “best i can do is one inch, anything beyond that is spasms”. Nurses say the PT is gonna start working on those once I’m sitting around 45 degrees.

SKIN: Ugh. Maybe it’s the steroids, or maybe it’s just laying in the same bed for a whole day, but I’m so oily I feel like a slug. I need a long ass shower and some moisturizer fucking ASAP

JOHNSON: Well, I can tell there’s a catheter in there. I can tell it feels like it’s waaaay too big a size. I can tell my bladder still has spasms every so often, even though it’s not getting full. Combine those 3 sensations, and just about every half hour my body’s like “oh yeah bud don’t forget there’s still all this bullshit stuck inside ya” and it feels like its trying to FORCE OUT THIS FULLY INFLATED BALLOON which is understandably absolute hell

Despite all of the above, I’m honestly not as anxious as I thought I’d be. Like, I have sensation everywhere as far as I can tell, and every muscle that I try to move at least responds a little bit, even if it’s just twitching more than at baseline. The only fears that haven’t been entirely put to rest are a) my bladder can empty sans-catheter b) my bowels are functional at all and c) my woody the woodpecker can still woodpeck. 

The doc came by again this morning (I feel bad, I think he’s literally been telling me the same things every time and I’ve just been forgetting so I ask the same questions) and essentially said it went as smooth as it could. The scar tissue had grown pretty far beyond where the old surgical site was, but they zapped as much as they could, made a much smaller hole than last time (essentially they took a little tube like a gauge for a pierced earlobe, and drilled it through my poor ol’ L4 vertebra, so the hole is only about 10mm) and closed it up with Goretech (Goretex? Gore something) so less will grow this time. A few “rootlets” from S2 level were caught up in the mess, but they hadn’t really bonded so much as they just twisted up, so he gives me his word that all they took out of me or zapped into nonexistence was scar tissue. All my nerves are still there, in the right order, and according to the electro-monitoring stuff they did during the op, there was at least some response when each one got stimulated, even though some had a very faint signal.

Well, that’s about as good of news as I can ask for at this point.